#hi. i wish i had a better ref for him but WHATEVER !!!!!! i did not feel like doing a new one so i just modified the old one erm

[brokebackmonastery]

self insert intro finally WOOHOO!!

did not have any great art of him. oh well. in any case this is luna-myr eisner (transmasc + any pronouns! you'll usually see me using he/they but anything is alright)! and while he is to a degree a self insert he's also very much like. an OC. because i like to write and that's just how i do self shipping i suppose. anyways further details below :3

(proship/comship DNI)

self insert but also what you would call a bylethsona i suppose. definitely not exactly like canon byleth as you will see. comes paired with custom route i have deemed seafoam star

was sort of half-conscious growing up until sothis awoke. capable of feeling emotion, but cannot truly express them and experiences everything through somewhat of a haze

only people he really had growing up were jeralt (who is his dad ofc) and whatever animals hung out wherever they were staying. was generally not around people his age and even when they were nobody wanted to engage with him because of his "odd" behavior. even adults were put off by him

autistic. who would i be if i did not make my SI autistic

quite merciful for a mercenary. capable of being brutal, but it is reserved for the truly deplorable; for example, often lets thieves trying to steal from well-off folk to keep themselves or their loved ones alive go in secret. does not see these acts of survival as worthy of punishment. wishes he could help them more. however, people are generally not aware of this and are more likely to have heard about the aforementioned brutality.

though they didn't have much choice in taking the monastery job, he was generally okay with it, if not confused. It was their first time in a setting surrounded by so many people his age consistently. understood why seteth did not trust him.

time powers work more in-depth than with canon byleth. can of course use divine pulse, but this also comes with an unusually acute perception of time and the occasional ability to have visions of the past and possible futures. since his body is still technically mortal, these visions often make him feel faint if not entirely pass out. These visions can be shared via touch.

genuinely does not understand what the hell is going on, particularly early game. people seem to think he does or that he's hiding something — he is not. they are just learning to express the confusion they feel.

drawn to claude right away. erm...?

more visibly nabatean than canon byleth after fusing with sothis. pointed ears and reptilian pupils come alongside the green hair. possibly has a few scales here and there on his body as well. claws (and i'm talking CLAWS not just long nails) and fangs. dragon form that he is entirely unaware of until much later. the sort of "transformation" into being more visibly nabatean was like. Painful and lasted roughly a week

teaches all three classes and has a significant connection with them all, but is the homeroom teacher of/is the closest with the golden deer (think like... the teachers rotate who they teach basically. but each have a homeroom they are tied to/spend more time with)

did not even have a chance to choose a side between edelgard and rhea. would not have killed edelgard at rhea's request regardless and approaches her about it before the imperial attack on the monastery to ask if there is any other way. rhea was upset by the idea that he did not side with her unconditionally. they did not want to kill either of them

loves rhea, but does not trust her. Very confused by her actions and only wants the truth from her. Sees her as somewhat of a motherly figure, ironically.

likes drawing, creating jewelry (usually out of bone), sewing, and carving (usually sets of dice). like sitri, loves flowers and will be delighted to see unusual ones. his favorites are any kind of lily. has an affinity for stuffed animals as well

big fan of moths especially luna moths if that was not apparent. goes to see them out in the wild yearly in the short span of time that they are active

also bonus dragon form where he's a weird horsemothlizard as well as a better demonstrarion of the fact that they have straight up Claws. that's all i've got for now. cheers

[madschiavelique]

AAAA this idea has been on my mind for months now and i simply need to share it with y’all

it’s a raphael x reader fic idea that i had a bit ago, and as i am uncertain as to whether or not i will ever write it, i’m throwing this idea in the wild hoping a writer on the platform will have a better determination than me at writing multiple chapters fics ✨(if u do write it i’d love to be tagged to read it or to be credited pls !)

─ . 𝜗𝜚‧ pairing : raphael x reader

─ . 𝜗𝜚‧ content warnings : boss x employee, oblivious reader, female!reader (but if u want to picture it as gender neutral or differently it’s up to you i’m just throwing the idea out there!), tiny bit of explicit content

( not proofread, english is not my first language ☆)

so

we have two possibilities for the start :

raphael made a contract a while ago with a mortal that he thought was pretty much impossible for them to fulfil, yet for some reason, they did manage to complete it, and now raphael had to oblige in whatever wish they had. let's picture it maybe as a person with few remaining options in life and that wants whatever remains of them to be inscribed in the family lineage as absolutely incredible. so imagine the surprise when raphael hears that the person wants their daughter to be the devil's assistant.

OR because i like having a wide choice of possibilities (and this idea came afterwards and i prefer it) :

Raphael lost a bet and has to deal with a human as their apprentice or archivist or scrib or whatever activity that necessitates to have them by his side most of the time.

imagine an oblivious reader, doesn't know much bout the hells except that you have to be wary of it, finding themselves in it directly with no friends, no directions, just in the house of Hope

imagine the scowl of raphael when he sees her arriving, the way his lower lips hems in anticipation of how he'll have to endure her presence during the upcoming weeks, months, maybe even years of apprenticeship if reader's lucky enough to hang in there

there's a bit of an urge to make her life difficult, but most of all to keep her away from him because he has no time to babysit a simple human in his home.

somehow seeing her in the face reminds him of his failure, of how a mere mortal fulfilled a contract he had so perfectly made (as he always does) and that brings him an absolute feeling of frustration

so maybe he assigns her to the archives, so that she can lose herself in books to, as he says "learn about the habits and customs of the hells", but it is mostly a pretext to occupy her so that she’s not following them around like a duckling following their mom

inevitably however (when we follow the track of the-bet-he-lost version) he has to prove to his other allies that he is fulfilling this forfeit, and thus bring reader to some diners or events with him

picture this whole thing kinda like miranda (raphael) and andrea's (reader) dynamic in the devil wears prada, just pushing her under a mountain of work that tires her the fuck out but then somehow reader becomes less insufferable and hardworking and adapts to her environment

who knows maybe she finally got used to his habits, knew what dishes, drinks, clothes he'd prefer. knew who he had positive ties with, who he loathed, who he had to keep an eye on, and who he could close his eyes around

which obviously brought reader to harleep

maybe reader has just never picked up on social cues (yes at this point i'm making reader autistic because yes.) and doesn't have a single fucking clue about flirting, so she just thinks harleep is being very very nice to her c: it'd be hilarious like

harleep: haven't you got a pretty garment today, but you might make the hells hotter if you removed a few layers of it

reader: how can one make a place hotter by removing clothes ? that's a silly suggestion

told you

✨ OBLIVIOUS✨

harleep and reader do become friends though, maybe harleep even teaches her a bit about the malicious art of flirting while refraining himself to just fuck her - still teaching her in his own way of course

raphael doesn't spend his time wondering what his incubus spends his time doing, because if he did he would know pretty quickly whatever he does anyway. but now that he's starting to feel less bitter about reader and actually is able to be in the same room as her without his nose hitching up like he is smelling something that reeks, he does have an interest to know a bit about what her activities are in the house of hope

because consider it, he never shares diner with her, barely exchanges a few words per day with her, and tries to stay the furthest away from her possible by adding piles of documents, lists and whatever books reader needs to read for him so that all these centuries of knowledge can repress her to come to him

imagine if haarlep, just to mess with raphael, tells reader to use any flirting lessons he has given her so far on him - whether it be the brush of a hand or flaming hot words that'll make the devil's skin ran with goosebumps

and that when she does use it, actually unconsciously, reader and raph both surprised

what the hell is that thing that raphael is feeling ?

he knows who's behind this little joke, obviously, but still there's a sort of lingering truth in these words

maybe reader has noticed how she herself has just started anticipating whenever he comes back, whenever she shares a moment with him in any room of the house of hope, whenever he gives a confirming hum or the single word "good" when she does a proper job that she made look natural and intuitive when she’s been working her soul out to make it look perfect and effortless in advance

she expects him

imagine how one day, she does everything absolutely perfectly, even goes out of her way to impress him in the hopes of receiving even just a smile about it, but nothing. raphael hides the way he's impressed with her, because... why actually?

to keep his image of irascible boss that doesn't give a shit about his apprentice human? i mean he could've dropped this kind of act probably, but making an effort for a human that doesn't owe him anything ? that's another feat he's not sure how to handle yet

so reader goes to haarlep, who's become her confident, her kind of only friend in the house of hope, and shares her frustration

maybe she just takes them in her arms, starts crying a bit as they caresses her hair sofity hushing her down

"nothing i do is ever good enough, even perfect is not enough for him! why does he have to be this way..." and maybe just maybe

haarlep suggests a way to make her feel better and ends up sleeping with her

they comforts her a bit more, and tell her that if she ever needs to feel "better" again, she can just come to them. if not, they still are her friend

things go on, and raphael's personal frustration grows, because his mind keeps going to reader

what is it about her that makes him want to think about her? certainly not the way she always knows what to bring him if he needs even the slightest thing, or how she suggests point of views and ideas he had not though of from his perspective, or how she's so pretty when she's serious and reading silently, or how he even finds beauty in her writing, or how...

the list goes on, this man is silently obsessed with you, and he doesn't know how to shake away this feeling

imagine one night of pure frustration he calls in haarlep, and as they’re deeply in the middle of it, he feels as though he's not getting satisfaction. his thoughts are oriented towards you and only you, maybe the way you brushed the feather of your quill on your nose today while reading and writing notes on whatever book on cambions raphael had commanded you to read, or how your sigh of relief sounded when you had stretched after a long while of being sat at your desk, or how your tongue had lingered on your spoon tonight at diner after finishing your yogurt

that's when the cocky bastard (haarlep) smirks, asking "what's wrong? do you wish tonight for me not to be you, but to be..." before changing in your shape and seeing how raphael's eyes widen in surprise, "her ?"

he just gets up from bed, screaming at harleep “how could you touch her? i gave you no right to touch her” but harleep just answers something like "how could i not ? you certainly know of The Scorpion and the Frog don't you? It's in my nature."

of course raphael knows of it (lemme insert the explanation: A scorpion wants to cross a river but cannot swim, so it asks a frog to carry it across. The frog hesitates, afraid that the scorpion might sting it, but the scorpion promises not to, pointing out that it would drown if it killed the frog in the middle of the river. The frog considers this argument sensible and agrees to transport the scorpion. Midway across the river, the scorpion stings the frog anyway, dooming them both. The dying frog asks the scorpion why it stung despite knowing the consequence, to which the scorpion replies: "I am sorry, but I couldn't resist the urge. It's my nature."), and knows that harleep would've probably tried to get your body sooner or later, but still he feels the sting in his heart

URGH i have lots of thoughts about this so if ur interested pls don’t hesitate to drop smth in my inbox !!

[mangledscrimp]

HAIII,, Here is Desmond for dy au :3,, I redid her ref sheet and I think it looks so much better than the original sprite edit! (comparison)

(WILL HAVE AZRAN LEGACY SPOILERS.)

As a bit of a warning;; There will be nonsexual nudity in the post going over scars from surgeries and wounds (not very graphic)

As usual, going to go through each bullet.

•Pronouns

Desmond goes by He/She/They/Its. Everything pretty much goes for them. She’s genderfluid.

•AroAce

Desmond in this au is aroace. He still had that past partner like canon desmond does. But after she had disappeared, it helped him discover himself after being unable to be a suitable partner for anyone else due to stress and general complications with understanding people.

•Artistry

Desmond is still very much into art, but taxidermy is what she values higher than most. She thinks it’s a beautiful way to show the life an animal once lived or a creative way to express oneself through an animal.

•Airship or water ship?

Desmond in this au owns a mixture of both! She owns a cruise ship with an attached airship at the top (the Bostonius)! Making her able to leave the ship without having to turn the cruise around and an easier place to have the airship without having to put it into a hanger. Her crewmates often call her red or dessy, a fun little nickname!

•Glasses?

Surprisingly, her glasses are only for show. She’s got no lenses in those red rims and are merely an accessory.

•Profession

Desmond studied the arts of archeology and anthropology. He’s well versed in the two topics. Archeology is something that peaked his interest since it was a major thing in his childhood. Often times, his father would bring him to dig sites to see pottery from the past and how humans used to live. Unfortunately, his father was taken by a suspicious group of people, as well as his mother.

Anthropology also peaked Desmond’s interest as it went along with Archeology. Learning about how human being behaved throughout history over time is interesting to them.

This is more of a habit but, Desmond is also an interested hunter. While learning about different cultures and their practices, she learned more and more about different hunting strategies used by many cultures. These were inspirational, so it slowly became a hobby. Of course only in areas that allowed hunting. Nothing non-ethical for her!

———— AZRAN LEGACY SPOILS!!!

I feel like…you guys will hater me for what I did to descole for the au ok…Don’t get mad at me pleaseeeee!! :< She’s kinda cringe but I DON’T CAREEE MWAHAHA I AM FREE I CAN DO WHATEVER I WISH!!

Cannibalism and Hunting mention uwaaa

remember shit gets diabolical in this au, so don’t be surprised when the main villain is a cringe scary character that goes EEEVIL!!

ok yah this is..this is descole in this au.

Again, gonna do what I gotta do. A lot of what’s in here is related to lore stuff that some people may have or have not read..sooo tralala

This ref is general and not affected by gameplot!

•Similarities and differences

Desmond and Descole act VERY differently. Desmond is simply just an act for the public eye.

Also, not called “Jean Descole” in this au. She’d probably find it rather ugly to be called “Jean” and thinks that name is stupid. Her canon counterpart would definitely hate her.

Desmond and Descole both share the same pronouns, that part does not change. Same with their sexuality.

Desmond is more open and tries her best to communicate with people, while Descole acts more cold and serious. Descole also gets agitated more easily compared to Desmond.

•Outfit and design.

Descole’s outfit is made to hunt. It’s hunting gear. She has white hunting gloves and a purple hunting jacket.

The boa and cravat is for style, might as well look good when you’re hunting. (Not..very affective..but don’t tell her that..)

The cape is also for style but it’s also used to hide her belt and anything else she has concealed in her pockets. The pattern of the cape isn’t very consistent but it has the overall pattern of a leopard with a soft texture. Often times her chihuahua, treats, enjoys to lay in it. (Treats is the Keats dupe for this au! hehe). Can ditch the cape when she needs to run after prey and it’s slowing her down.

Her boots are lightweight so she can easily run after her prey if needed.

her hat is funny, that’s why I did it lols. She can’t own a cat, or else it would knock it off all the time haha!

Under everything, it’s just a plain cream shirt with her hunting pants.

The shadow is a design choice that I like hehe, it allows her to blend in with the darkness since she mostly hunts at night. Also makes her mysterious hehehe lalalal! Desmond can also have this shadow to show the cover being blown.

Mask to conceal her identity.

Wig is not connected to the hat, if she wants to take it off, she’ll take it off from the front, similarly to how the masked gentleman takes off the costume for the big reveal.

•Weaponry

Descole carries a belt on her waist that holds her smaller tools. For example, her cautery tool she stole from her adopted father (Raymond). Carrying it around incase she needs it for prey. (Of course, it’s only been used on one creature she’s hunted.)

Another weapon in her arsenal would be her handgun. It’s used near the ending of Randall’s game. She has larger ones but she carries a small one for quick trips and not for longer hunts.

Lastly, she owns a net guns. Made by herself. The case is a deep dark purple with a red “D” to label it as her own. It has foam to protect each netgun head and handle. The yellow button on the handle is to release her white web onto her prey. She mostly uses her net guns instead of killing what’s she’s hunting right away.

• Diet.

She’s a hunter that eats her prey. if her prey so happens to be Human, she won’t find a problem using every piece that she can.

With her normal hunting, she often uses every part of the animal. For example, if she were to hunt a deer, she’d use every piece.

Though, she has yet to eat a human being. She had plans to feast on a red headed woman after her plans had failed since she had no more use for her, but that sadly didn’t go through. Once you aren’t needed anymore in her eyes, she’ll find a way to satisfy her hunger.

Under the cut there is nudity!! NOT SEXUAL! Just to show Des’s body.

Warn for scarring and nonsexual nudity!! uwaa

This is how Des looks underneath everything!

•Under Both

During the Randall game, Des gets shot in her shoulder, leaving a scar after raymond tried to tend to its wound.

Des had gotten breast reduction surgery by raymond. Raymond has surgical experience, he’s a retired surgeon who decided to work in an orphanage where he met Des and her future crew.

Raymond is like a father to des and was happy to make her feel more confident in himself.

The wound on their right hand was caused by desperate measures going through the labyrinth in Randall’s game. She carved a pathway onto her hand so she wouldn’t get lost.

He’s got a symmetry line down its chest. Idk, just a neat body detail I wanted to add because I think it’s nice! hehe

• Under Descole

She wears a binder under her descole outfit to appear more flat chested. She doesn’t mind her breasts but she’d rather wear that when she’s hunting that a bra. Feels more contained.

OK LALALA THAT IT!!

[autisticempathydaemon]

hello everynyan :3 /ref

4 the redacted match-ups ! not sure if you're still doing these or not bc i'll be damned i'd give up after the first 3 🙌🙌🙌 power 2 ya ! (if you ARE, in fact, not doing these anymore pls ignore this. this never happened. kay.)

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

this was the hardest question bc i LOVEEMUSIC so bad i can never really pick ONE fav bc it changes every 2 seconds but !!! gun to my head as of rn i'd say -- "but not kiss" - faye webster

'i want to see you in my dreams,

but then forget.

we're meant to be,

but not yet.

you're all that i have,

but can't get.'

i chose this song primarily because of the aesthetics & instrumental,, + the feels - i love how the piano carries and portrays every feeling (dread? maybe?) alongside the vocalist ugh sick to my stomach /pos

as for the verses i've chosen i just. really like the way she sings them HA i guess depending on my current mood i might relate to the lyrics for .5 seconds due to a past relationship of mine that had me fuckedd anyway.

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

i WISH i could enjoy these as much as others but i have the attention spam of a fucking goldfish i need to be stimulated 24/7. i cannot stare at the same face and occasional photo/clip for over 10 mins.

i might watch more of em if they had like a satisfying slime video in the corner or smth. i find i only watch ones that have a topic/interest of mine that i am actively curious about/into????if that makes sense??

for instance, the only one that comes to mind rn is "in defense of chat noir" by toon ruins UGH ITS SO GOOD i used to be a huge fan of miraculous so that defffinitely takes part in why i rewatch it every few months.

What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

on my stomach. arms under pillows. one leg up. yo i bought these headphones made specifically for sleeping while listening to relaxing noises or smth & i kid you not i use them shits to listen to asmr/rp audios. sometimes it puts me to sleep other times i'm up all night tryna figure out what position the listener and 'character' are in. anyway!!!

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

first thing that comes 2 mindd for whatever reason is 'may' ?? possibly bc i really like my birth name already and 'may' is somewhat close to it already? also because i'd love writing it over and over in my handwriting . probably just an excuse to write the letter 'y' actually.

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?

fav character changes ALLL THE TIMEE for no reason my fav is all of them rlly i just wanna love and be loved BUT when i reaaaally think about it ?? hudson. even though he's like. an easter egg. i cant have anything. wanna "D D D D DDDJJJ ANXIETY" into his pants. what. who said that. just got hacked wtff

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.)

a know a LOTT of ppl love david but i am sorry i just cannot. angel better than me idk how they do it. srry. my momma raised a bitch. i've never ever gotten to finishing any of his videos so maybe im the problem but from the get-go THIS BITCH IS SCARY BRO he's so damn intimidating . the fact that his voice is rlly deep doesn't help either :C ..& don't even get me started on early david.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

this is such a good question rlly makin me think . hmm . OK I FEEL LIKE A BASIC BlTCH BC PPL HAVE BEEN SAYIN THIS ALREADY BUT . hux. we like this 🤞 . as for why?? i feel like i need and would . honestly really appreciate more,, warmth and positivity in my life - and i def get that sorta 'aura' from him. & i know damn well he'd give the best hugs. and we could go to the gym together. it'd be so fun. so precious.

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

ok first of all #relationshipgoals that is so sweet awe :((

i wouldn't say i really 'ramble' per say -- i just talk. to myself. like a normal person. mhm. i struggle with sleep in general, so i'm usually up till like 5am. typically endlessly scrolling through my phone, or talking to the abyss about something personal that's been on my mind for a while. if it's really bad, i cry in my voice memos. if i just need to - refresh? get smth off my mind so i can sleep? i write songs.

...and then i record them on my $15 wireless headphones. onto that very same voice memos app.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

if im being honest,, depends on my mood . but god could i fuck up some strawberry milk and mini oreos right about now. . mind you i've had strawberry milk like once but it changed my life u dont understand

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.

i mean i don't listen to it 24/7 but man i outdid myself w this one. it's called "insanity" and every single song matches the vibe of . just straight up 'otherworldly' ?? if u catching what im throwin?? all songs r pretty 'out-there' - in terms of the vibes - at least i like to think so. for reference it has songs like "goth - sidewalks and skeletons" and "eternal youth - růde" . IDK i guess it makes me happy when songs from a playlist actually match up with one other

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why?

i listen to this japanese-kawaii-metal-based group called BABYMETAL and i loveee them soso much. a few "metal enthusiasts" go out and call their work 'not real metal' , which is why i guess you can technically call their music a pleasure media -- as well as the fact that whenever i put on one of their songs mfs r like ... what is this - cause its three young japanese girls talking abt bubblegum with the the most insane guitar riff in the back. their newer stuff is incredible. womanhood at it's finest. give them a shot plspls /nf

ALL DONE !! ty 4 reading & have a lovely day/night, wherever you may be <3

Oh, this one is perfect and required, like, no thought. Vibes-wise? Given your energy? It’s just gotta be Guy.

Building on that, I love that you write songs and he writes screenplays(?). I think it’s so cute to pair writers together so that you might inspire one another and be each other's biggest fans. I also like Guy for you because he strikes me as one of those people who calls themselves “polyjamorous”, listening to basically anything and everything. He loves all your songs and all your playlists, vibing along to all of it even if there’s no words or words in another language. He doesn’t care: he’s with you, so he’s having a good time.

I would predict a fun, artistic life for the two of you like parallel-playing co-writing sessions with the two of you having individual headphones on, making funny faces at one another when you catch the other staring. You take turns showing each what you’ve created and hyping each other up, offering critique. When the writer's clock keeps y’all up till 3 AM, he’s got leftover pizza and any snacks you could possibly want. (He strikes me as the sort of guy who always has junk food caches.)

Song:

It was just two lovers/ Sittin' in the car, listening to Blonde/ Fallin' for each other/ Pink and orange skies, feelin' super childish/ No Donald Glover/ Missed call from my mother/ Like, "Where you at tonight?" Got no alibi/ I was all alone with the love of my life

Given your passion for music, I tried to pick a love song for y’all that was emotionally evocative to the mind and the ear. I chose this one because I thought the piano instrumental and how it evokes that mental imagery of sitting with someone during the golden hour might resonate with you. I also like it for y’all because this song got really popular on tiktok, and Guy would probably know it from there.

Runner-ups:

Obviously, we have to have Hudson as a runner-up. As a DJ, he’d be so loving and so supportive of your craft, hyping you up on air all the time and playing your work whenever he can. He’d also make you really bomb-ass playlists. A less obvious runner-up would be Anton, but I really like this one. You’d be more of an opposites attract sort of pair, but I think it’d be cute, and listening to music would remind Anton of you while he’s away~

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[thegeminisage]

star trek FIRST CONTACT!!! breakdown aka me attempting to transcribe the poorly typed notes in my phone to a tumblr post which will last longer. overall this movie was absolutely charming and a 10/10 experience, though i would have liked it even better if i liked picard and cared about his borg trauma, and i'm sad that i don't. luckily, i expect at least some of that type of thing will be given to me with more dykehood involved in the form of seven of nine, coming soon to a voyager near me. ANYWAY.

first thrill of this move was when data got to say a bad word, which to be fair he also did in the previous tng movies. so already i was thinking, some rights for tng movies

cheered aloud when worf showed up in the defiant. was absolutely thrilled to recognize the defiant mid-combat before they TOLD us "oh hey that's the defiant." ds9 ref! it is kinda funny that no one on ds9 goes "so hey where were you over the weekend?" and he responds "oh just time traveling to save earth from a borg attack nbd!" like i know it's because of the syndication or whatever, but ds9 is perfect for that type of humor, AND it's nuts that such a huge thing happened and nobody in ds9 likel. cares. sure they got problems but imagine the potential! did he ask for permission to take the ship or did he just steal it to go defend his former captain and riker e deanna situationship? was sisko mad that it got banged up? is he gonna ground worf next weekend? i need to Know.

another fun moment was when i noticed borged up florida first, because my eyes usually hit florida first when i view any sort of country or global map where florida is visible. don't worry about it. anyway, i didn't realize what had happened i thought perhaps future utopian florida was supposed to have all those lines coming out of it and paused to see it better. wrong. the borg did that.

dismayed to see zefram cochrane again after what he did to that poor woman in "metamorphosis." i kept trying to tell myself that maybe this was before he became such a creep and then he was all creepy with deanna. he had some charming moments outside of that though

EMH CAMEO MY BELOVED i was so fucking happy to see him. this iteration got eaten by the borg but STILL i loved that familiar face

i did not like picard's little vest it looks bad and it getting snuck into ds9 makes me mad. also, he needs to STOP interrupting data. him killing that guy begging for help was very fun though. that is his idea of help <3 one of those moments where i was absolutely lamenting the fact that i don't like him. praying seven gets to do anything even half that gnarly 🙏

i decided that this movie was the most fun i've ever had watching tng during the drunk deanna scene. firstly, riker was so ready to have a threesome with her and cochrane. secondly, she is so funny, they should let her do funny stuff more often

speaking of riker, he was very handsome in this movie. idk what he did to his hair but it was extra fluffy. i couldn't stop staring at it

data jacking off the borg

borg queen HOT! no body. just a head. extremely fun. she is the same lady as the oa's mom though which also fills me with rage AND she played that crazy bitch from silent hill who got fucked to death with barbed wire. luckily, she looked so different here most of the connotations were able to be muted in my mind palace

picard navigating the borg in the hallway with lily was also unfortunately very very good. "i know what i'm doing" wow yeah he sure does <3

i loved lily too although i wish she had more to do. her scene near the end comparing picard to captain ahab was so insanely fucking good but she spent most of this movie running away from stuff or screaming at people. she did get to swear though <3

holodeck bad especially the dixon hill mention but it was nice to see neelix's actor - another fun cameo. the machine gun reminded me of the pest control clip

deeply distraught to see barclay but at least it was brief. he was actually much better in voyager

LOVED the spacewalk. i keep forgetting how big the starships really are and the scale was amazing, the outer space scenes were tense. spacing the borg, who can't die, and won't die of atmospheric or oxygen or temperature needs, is a fate worse than death. they just have to float through space as a borg until they...starve? hit a planet and burn up in the atmosphere? anyway, mwah. it was so scary

i think data may have fucked the borg queen. good for him? or sorry that happened. also, human data was so horrifying. my poor little guy. PLEASE treat him really niceys

worf tying off the hole in his suit was badass tbh. ASSIMILATE THIS people need to stop calling him a pussy, especially picard. he is so cool

LOVED the entire launch of cochrane's rocket. the music, the seatbelts - i realize now that star trek beyond was a deliberate callback to this moment. one thing about the aos films is that the more trek you watch the more you will come to understand them

i do love that picard went back for data <3 like...i don't agree with picard/data shippers but at least now i get it

data's "resistance is futile" was said with all the cunt of quinto's "live long and prosper" good for HIMMM

"is that earth? it's so small" "it's about to get a whole lot bigger" prompted in me a genuine human emotion which did perhaps cause me to well up

AND THEN THE VULCANS. i know that's spock's ancestor and i love that he was immediately dtf in this handshake moment. mwah. it was also charming that cochrane at the end was trying unsuccessfully to teach him to dance. i fucking love vulcans

anyway, absolutely charming experience. from my understanding this is the best of the tng movies so i will assume tng has peaked for me here but wow, what a moment <3

[dilf-in-peril]

woke up to njpw tweeting that bryan is wrestling okada in january and all i can think is "someone should be stepping in and telling him no. why arent they." youve made many posts expressing this type of sentiment esp since the stevie richards video that aew had taken down, and the refrain of like, "where are the agents, where are the trainers, the medical staff, the coaches, the refs, why is nobody protecting these performers from themselves when that should be like their primary job" weighs heavy on my mind lately. genuinely a disgrace. Sorry to come into your inbox to spread misery for no good reason btw, i just know you understand this perspective. nothing to do with you or me sending this but i also hope to see this become like a ~discourse~ topic on wrestling twitter or whatthefuckever, not that im optimistic it will lol. i just honestly think this should be talked about publicly with concern about accountability bc its alarming

I'm happy getting bonked on the head did at least help Mox come to the conclusion (although I thought he went through similar shit as Punk at the end in WWE) that AEW needs better concussion protocols and better refs. Let's hope he's not just talking to the press about it but also to his boss.

And I don't think I need to remind people Meltzer said Punk was sending mysterious legal letters, making everyone's life more difficult and didn't want to job to Mox (or whatever Meltzer implied) when he was actually just not medically cleared yet and didn't want to wrestle without clearance.

I don't know how badly injured Bryan is, I think they said he should be back by the end of the year, but you know, he also came back earlier from his broken arm. I don't know if he offered to do it or TK asked him, I think it was the latter but you know even if he offered it to save the PPV for the fans and for Ricky, TK should have said no.

Well, it's all a big *sigh*. I know this isn't just a AEW issue but I wish they'd be better about it, especially since they are running a retirement home.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Taskmaster podcast, episode 170:

Kiell Smith-Bynoe: I’ve noticed that from [John Robins’] demeanour in the studio. He’s just quite calm and chill, and is like, “Oh, this is happening. Yep. Oh, that happened, yeah.” Ed Gamble: I think people are surprised by that, with John. Because John’s persona on his radio show, certainly, is quite angry sometimes. You know, short tempered. He’s very funny when he’s in that sort of angry, sort of desperate state. But I think there’s been a bit of a sea change in his personality in the last year or two. So to watch him be calm, especially during some of these tasks, is quite wonderful to see, as a friend. But also, there’s a little devil on my shoulder going, “I wish he was still in a dark place.” You know, overall, we’re very happy for him.

I like it when people who aren't me say the things that I feel vaguely guilty for thinking because it ignores the fact that comedians are human beings and human happiness is more important than art. But it's okay when people who do know them as human beings say it. Also, John Robins has said it himself, in some detail, in his 2014 stand-up show about how he'd found eternal love and this would unfortunately harm his ability to do good comedy (a point that was proven a few years later, because while I thought This Tornado Loves You was a great show, when the relationship ended a few years later, he did write a much better one and got awards accordingly).

John Robins has been great fun on Taskmaster this season, and there is something very funny about watching him keep it together through what's clearly quite a lot of effort, when a couple of years earlier he'd have just failed to keep it together completely. But yes, Farthing-gate-era Robins will always be a "What could have been?" missed opportunity for Taskmaster, not getting him when he was like that.

Although I have to say, I do think we're being cheated on that a little bit. I've mentioned this before, but Nick Mohammed and Sophie Willan both said on the podcast that Steve and John were very competitive, that there were times when they felt uncomfortable in the studio with how much those two went after each other. I think Joanne said something similar too. I found those comments odd, since we don't really see that on TV. But someone I know who was in the audience at one of the recordings has told me about two different arguments in the studio that got cut from the broadcast (didn't even make outtakes), both cases of John picking fights with Steve over task performance. I think John is being at least a bit of his old angry/argumentative self in the studio this season, as people who were there in person have attested, but for whatever reason it's not making the edit.

I think Ed Gamble's been great throughout this season too, all the podcast episodes have been fun. I especially like his takes on John Robins and Nick Mohammed, as he knows those guys personally and professionally. Also, I loved the time he casually mentioned to Nick Mohammed, when talking about John Robins: "I listen to his radio show with Elis James every week, so I know him... well, better than he thinks I do." I liked that, because that is how I conduct all my friendships as well.

I actually have a lot in common with Ed Gamble. Highly competitive, quite liked John Robins when he was furious all the time, really into Taskmaster, and I also bit someone on the arm in 2007. Though I had a better excuse than he did, she was cross-facing me illegally hard in a wrestling dual on the side where the ref couldn't see. Ed just did it because a man from Lancashire told him to. (He probably didn't. I think they were just pretending. It's okay.)

It's fun that we'll get an hour of John and Ed together on the podcast again next week, unless something extremely unexpected happens. Unless Joanne or Steve has the best episode anyone's ever had, and it turns out that Alex Horne thought it would be funny to save all John's absolute worst tasks until the final episode, in an effort to bring back "furious John" for one last hurrah by having his win ripped away at the last moment.

[jaysmith2232]

Man here I am in Baltimore, to see my boy demarvin take out the ravens. I got chill with him, when I got in today and it made me see everything like when we were growing up. I realized i had become blind and changed from who I used to be.being here in Baltimore with my boy, and then gettin to chill with my other boy Ty and watch him and the 76ers, and then us gettin go out like old times just with more money, man I realized I missed my boys but I’m happy both of them are in the same state doin their thing. Gettin away from all this bullshit, really cleared my head and for once in a long time I’m thinking and seeing clearly. Instead of tryin to please people and shit I’m just goin with the flow and whatever happens, happens. If it’s meant to be, then it’s meant to be but I’m gonna change my shit for the people that want to be in it, and not the people tryin to fit in it. I dont know if I needed today to happen to wake me up, but it did. I know I’m gonna get hell for sayin it like I planned shit to happen…because I didn’t but sometimes shit you don’t plan on happening is usually the shit that needs to happen. Like I said I dont know if today was a test or if it was just a wake up call, but I know today happened. I apologize to anyone that I hurt or offended and you know who you are..,like honestly my bad. It took me gettin away and seeing the people who excepted me from day 1, to wake me the fuck up. Man I should have listen to my boys all along, well let’s get this weekend with 2 dubs and then me and my boys are gonna kill the night like old times…the only one we’re missing is our boy g-dub and I wish him and his jets good luck Sunday hope they go out on top, we’ll be watching bruh so you better go off like you used to for lake Travis. Man really all I can wish for is my bous to have beast games…I know Ty lost tonight but boy fucked around and had a near 30 piece double double, talk about my boy doin work. Man I miss playin with you in travel ball dawg so me and D are gonna be alil late Saturday,but we’ll make it like old times gassin your ass up. I remember when you were playin at south garland, and dude from the other team was like “ I got Maxey, I want Maxey” and the ref didn’t miss a beat n was like “ na, you don’t want him” we spent that weekend laughing our asses off, and that was was the running joke when someone wanted to guard you. Man I miss the old days, but shit it will be like old times Saturday night homie.

[louiloeve]

Whether By Fate or Necessity - part 5

Woot! Finished the last chapter about Baldur getting his curse! I'm pretty excited about having finished not one but TWO fics within the last couple of weeks, so "this slaps" as the younglings would say... *ahem* anyway! Below is the beginning of the end, and it's not particularly pretty (for Baldur), but I hope you'll read it just the same. 6705 is a postal code, just to make the song ref make (more?) sense. Link to ao3 (x)

Chapter 5 - 6705

I was buried alive At 6705 But I survived And I'm digging still - Kellermensch, 6705, 2022

Mimir was trying to shake off the feeling of his skin crawling, but the cold lapping of fear slicked incessantly up and down between his shoulder blades as he left Odin’s study in the bowels of The Great Lodge. The All-Father had insisted Mimir divulge what he knew about Baldur’s state of being as well as his recent transformation. Odin had pretended it was under the guise of a worried father wanting to know more about the struggles of his youngest son, but Mimir knew better than to believe in such a studied display of parental concern.

Odin had of course invariably teased the tasty titbit from Mimir regarding mistletoes as a possible weakness in Freya’s spell. While Mimir had been explaining his theory about the mistletoe to the All-Father, Mimir had realised too late that he had probably hit the stupid bloody nail right on its stupid bloody head, because why else would Freya have reacted as she did to seeing the sorry little twig on his belt? He was as of yet still unclear as to how she had even managed such an effect with oath magic, but, for whatever reason, he was certain that mistletoe was not included, and therefore might pose a problem in some way. As Mimir had talked about it to Odin, he had noted something flash in the old god’s eyes, and that, more than anything, had confirmed his own suspicions.

Oh, gods, Mimir thought suddenly, I’ve betrayed Freya.

As if his thinking of her had conjured her, Freya suddenly appeared in the door to her rooms as he was passing by in the corridor. A quiver of unrest shot through him as she looked at him expectantly with a strange gleam in her eyes. He noticed belatedly that her mouth was moving.

“Sorry, m’lady, I was a wee bit lost in thought,” Mimir said, bowing to her. “Come again?”

“Might I have a word?” Freya asked. Her face was neutral as she stood aside in a gesture of welcome.

Oh, I am in it, now, Mimir thought to himself with a sinking feeling. He didn’t feel like sitting in attendance, but felt rather than knew that he could not decline her request. He cleared his throat a little nervously.

“Certainly, m’lady,” he said, and passed by her waiting form.

“I was just making myself some tea; would you care for some?” Freya shut the door and walked over to a steaming kettle of water on her workbench, which was scattered, as always, with herbs and plants, bowls of different sizes, wooden spoons, augurs, small knives, grating dishes, parchment and the like.

Mimir didn’t feel much like drinking tea, despite the fact that his throat felt dry as a desert after his talk with Odin. He would have much preferred something stronger – a lot stronger, really – but he assented anyway.

“What did you wish to speak to me about?” Mimir asked, as Freya poured the steaming water over asmall bundle of herbs lying in a sieve, one in each cup. She left the leaves to steep in the water as she turned and looked him over, once again bearing the same strange look she had fixed him with out in the corridor.

“I want to apologise.”

“Apologise?” Mimir was flabbergasted. Whatever he had expected, it certainly wasn’t that. “Whatever for, m’lady?”

“Yes, well… When we last spoke, I was… in distress.” Freya looked down at the steeping herbal leaves in the cups, gauging whether it was ready to drink. She swept out her hand to indicate two chairs by the window. “Please, won’t you have a seat?”

“Thank you,” Mimir said, walking over to a chair to sit down. He heard Freya mumble something as she shook the water from the sieves. “Pardon?”

Freya straightened with the cups and turned around. Her eyebrows were raised in question. “I didn’t say anything.” She came over and offered the tea to Mimir before she took a seat in the chair opposite him.

“Must be hearing things,” Mimir joked, but it felt strained and Freya just looked at him for a moment with an unreadable expression. “You were in distress, you say?” He prompted, careful not to sound disrespectful.

“Yes. Have you found any more mistletoe by the way?” Freya asked, trying to give off the impression that she didn’t care one way or the other, and yet Mimir felt his already high-strung sense of panic climb up another notch at her seemingly innocuous question. Mimir had been about to sip his tea when she posed the question, but had stopped then. As the cup descended back down into his lap, he failed to notice the fact that Freya’s eyes had followed the cup all the way down before snapping her gaze back up to his face.

“No, m’lady. I have not,” Mimir admitted. Truth be told, he hadn’t been looking for it, and neither did he want to after her reaction the last time.

“Good.” Freya forced a smile. “I’m guessing that you must have thought me very erratic when last we spoke.” Her words trailed off, not quite a statement, but not quite a question, either.

“Of course not,” Mimir quickly assured her, trying not to get whiplash from her conversation style. He barely knew why he was lying to her; he only knew that he had to. Freya stared into his eyes for a moment, considering his words. He could almost read the disbelief straight from the look in her eyes, and the silence between them stretched on, tense and awkward.

Mimir was first to cave, however.

“I know about the mistletoe,” he hurried to admit. “Or, at least, I think I know.”

“And what do you know, Mimir?” Freya was practically whispering the words. She leaned forward, intent on hearing his answer.

“It’s his weakness, isn’t it, m’lady?” Mimir found himself whispering, too, as if the words themselves were awfully offensive. He couldn’t look away from Freya’s eyes, mesmerising and unblinking as they were, boring into his own with horribly uncomfortable intensity. Another long silence passed as Mimir fought to resist the sudden urge to fidget under her unsettling gaze. Not knowing what to do with himself or his hands, he took a long sip of his tea instead and coughed heartily after swallowing the brew. He stared down at the tea in his cup with disgust: That’s just plain awful, isn’t it?

“Meaning no offence, m’lady, but this tea tastes a bit funny.”

“I know,” Freya said simply.

Without having taken a single sip from her own cup, she swiftly put it down on the table. She rose up out of her chair and came to stand closely in front of Mimir, who instinctively leaned back and away from her. She waved her hands in front of him as she mumbled some incoherent words, and, to his horror, Mimir finally felt the other shoe drop, but it was too late. All the blood drained away from his face as fear billowed like black smoke inside of him.

“M’lady—” he began, but Freya cut him off.

“Quiet!” She hissed, keeping their gazes locked. “Repeat after me: ‘Baldur is blessed with invulnerability to all threats, physical or magical,’ – say it.”

“Freya—”

“Say it!” Her voice took on that deep reverb that seemed to come from all around as much as inside his own head. “’Baldur is blessed with invulnerability to all threats, physical or magical,’” she repeated.

“Baldur is blessed with invulnerability to all threats, physical or magical,” Mimir repeated in defeat.

As he said the words, he felt as if a fog had rolled in and through his mind, leaving him feeling quite groggy. His thoughts were increasingly incoherent, as if they were trying to actively escape his attention, flitting about his skull like wily will-o’-the-wisps.

“Good. You don’t know about the mistletoe, you don’t know about any weaknesses, you don’t know anything about Baldur and me. Understood? Nod if you understand,” Freya demanded.

The grey fog swirled and glided through his mind like a softly tingling caress as Mimir repeatedly nodded his head in a disoriented fashion. What was he nodding about, anyway? What were they talking about? Did he just drift off in the middle of a conversation with Freya?

“M’lady, forgive me,” Mimir said slowly as he rubbed his hands over his face. “It’s been quite a long day, and I seem to be a bit dazed. If you’ll forgive me, might we speak at a later time? I think I need to go lie down,” Mimir said, trying to blink the drowsiness out of his eyes.

“Of course,” Freya said softly, as she stepped back to allow Mimir the space to leave. “Another time.”

“Thank you, m’lady. Good day to you,” he said, staggering slightly sideways as he went through the door. “And you,” Freya whispered hollowly, feeling slightly remorseful at what she had had to do, but glad to see him go all the same.

[...]

Read on, faithful steed!

[aj-the-satyr]

Unrecognised

ZG sighed as he patted himself down searching for any Puffs he might have.

“Shit. Other jacket. Oh well.”

He glanced upward at the metal ceiling that had become oh so familiar over this last year. Still, being an engineer on a mining skiff paid well and he was far better off than continuing to get mixed up with whatever that business was with those otters on Ganymede.

“OY, short stuff.” came a shout.

ZG stopped his search and turned to look at whoever it was that was trying to get on his nerves.

A large Hyena and his Wolf buddy were waving a pack of Puffs. “Missing these? You dropped them.”

“Did I?” ZG shook his head. These guys had been bugging him for making them look bad on the last EVA run. “Or did you steal them from me because you can’t actually fix anything for shit because you don’t know the appropriate time to use those things?”

“What you say?” The wolf took a step forward as he spat those words.

“You heard me, pup.” dismissed ZG

“Check out the horns on this one.” chuckled the Hyena as he tucked the pack into a pocket. “Or horn I guess. Run into too many walls didya?”

ZG shook his head a little. The time when he was basically a household name throughout Sol wasn’t even that long ago all things considered, but it seems his star had burned out all the same. “You even know who I am?”

“The guy who we’re about to teach a lesson in who runs the outside crews here to.” 

“Sure you are.” and with that ZG simply stepped forward and….

BOOM!

He had shunted to behind the two of them, braced himself and then swiped at the Wolf’s ankles with a couple of quick kicks, his reclaimed hooves cutting through clothing, flesh, muscle and tendons like nothing.

“No refs here, pup. Street rules.” He said as he planted another kick sending the, now whimpering wolf, tumbling forward.

The Hyena’s eyes were wide but he at least took a swing.

ZG almost rolled his eyes. Fighting through intimidation. Plenty of those idiots in Kombat when he was still fighting. He simply dodged the swing and the follow up.

“Always was too small to hit.” ZG grinned.

“You fucking…” The Hyena stepped forward and raised his arms in an attempt to grab ZG.

ZG merely used this opening to perform his old, flashy signature move, the ZG Flip. He pushed off the ground leaving a gouge in the deck and using the advancing Hyena’s knee as a push point threw all his momentum into a very flashy backflip kick. Without any of Kombat’s usual protections and the fact ZG had done the reclamation surgery to be able to use his hooves as cutting tools while EVA, the Hyena didn’t stand a chance. The solid hoof, now reinforced with metal and ceramics, simply crunched its way through his muzzle, leaving yet another whimpering pile of vector on the deck.

ZG landed and resisted the urge to raise his arms as he would have done during his Kombat days. There was no crowd here, just a couple of bullies who would need medical help and soon. First though he searched through their pockets and retrieved his pack of Puffs.

“Punks like you used to leave me alone. Wish you still did.” He checked the power on his shunt device and wandered over to the nearest comm unit. “Yeah, ZG reporting a fight in sector 2, corridor beta. Send medics asap.”

And with that call done he cracked open the pack, deciding that he’d earned a moment of bliss after all this nonsense.

[shootingstarwritings]

Wrestling With Some Feelings

Wrestling with some Feelings

“Wh-What are you doing…?" Ahmed moaned as a trail of slime slid into his singlet. Just the very touch caused his body to react with an eruption of pleasurable waves. He collapsed onto the locker room floor, slowly humping the floor to get any sort of friction on his hardening dick. "Haa… aahhhh...haaa…! This isn't… right." Ahmed bit down on his lip before letting down another desperate moan. So caught up in this invasive bliss that he didn't even care when the slimy creature squeezed itself into his leaking cock. Instead, he welcomed it. Thoughts of championships and the thrill of victory soon vanished beneath a blanket of ecstasy. "Ah! Ahhh! H-Holy fuck, I'm—!"

Ahmed wasn't able to finish as his body yielded to the enigmatic invader. His vision swam and he felt dizzy until he collapsed on a puddle of his precum. Ahmed's body convulsed on the ground, unable to even call for help, until he suddenly became rigid, back arched as if mid-orgasm. Then, he relaxed. Slowly, he rose from the ground and took a peek inside his wrestling singlet. "Damn kid, you got a sweet-ass body," he said, stretching his body and letting out a satisfying grunt as something popped. His more reserved personality and mannerisms were completely gone, as though it was someone else entirely. “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna stay here forever. Just long enough to throw that match with Clay tonight. Can’t let my son lose that scholarship. You understand, right?” Adjusting his singlet again, the man in possession of Ahmed, Jerry, let out a sensual groan. “Ohhh, and maybe take advantage of this little body for a while. Not every day an old fart like me can be a young and sexy college stud for a few hours."

There was still time until the match, and considering how it would just be throwing the match to Clay, it wouldn’t take much effort. For now, Jerry could relax and enjoy what Ahmed's body had to offer. Grinning, he squeezed Ahmed's meat through the fabric and threw his head back in a low moan. "You're so lucky, being so sensitive. C'mon, let's get real acquainted."

Clay’s father had to struggle to keep his erection down as Clay seriously manhandled him the whole match. Each of Ahmed’s nerves seemed to be turbo-charged and Clay’s rough hands only seemed to aggravate that. With every slam and struggle—every time flesh met flesh with a flash of friction, Clay’s father found himself growing flushed. Didn’t even have to try that hard to throw, his over-horned body did the job for him.

Was it the spell or perhaps something more? Either way, soon Jerry found himself pinned to the mat with his son sneering down at him. The ref called the final point, and that was it. Jerry walked back to the locker rooms, ignoring the calls from his coach and friends. He couldn’t risk anyone catching on to his lack of disappointment.

To make sure the locker room would be empty, Jerry took an extremely long shower—checking his goods one last time before he would have to leave and return home to congratulate his son. Towel around his waist, he made his way over to the locker only to meet a meaty arm blocking his way. 

"Gotta say, kinda disappointed in your performance today, Ahmed," Clay said with a glare.

“Oh, Clay! Uh, wh-what can I say? Performance anxiety,” Jerry said, shrugging.

Clay tilted his head in confusion. “The hell’s happened to you? All jumpy and squirrely.” He took a step forward, cornering his father against the lockers. “You sick or something? Honestly looking real weird.”

Swallowing, Clay’s father said, “Um, I suppose you just have the magic touch,” he said, mind racing to come up with a lie that would be somewhat believable. “Body got all hot and cold with you manhandling me like that.” Jerry prayed that his face and ears weren’t turning as red as he thought they were.

Clay nodded to himself while squinting as if deciphering a difficult piece of text. "That so…?” Hoping that was enough, Jerry began to walk away. However, Clay slammed both of his arms against the lockers, pinning his father completely. “All you had to do was ask,” Clay whispered, his incredulous look turning into one of passion. Without a word, he leaned and kissed Jerry on his borrowed lips. Too shocked to even fight, Jerry leaned back and shut his eyes. What did this rush of passion mean? It was as if a dam had suddenly burst open.

Caught in this stream of passion, Jerry met Clay's kiss with equal aggression. It was as if he was possessed by whatever sentiments Ahmed had locked away deep inside of his subconscious. Either way, Jerry couldn’t even bother trying to resist the youthful hormones that danced in every inch of his hunky, borrowed body.

“Damn, you taste real fine,” said Clay, leaning away to stare at the giddy, bubbly mess that was Jerry. “Your lips feel so nice. Bet they’d be even better wrapped around my dick,” he said, slapping his thigh as he said so. Jerry glanced down and saw his son’s fully erect cock straining against the confines of the singlet. Wordlessly, he nodded and got down on his knees. The taste was so salty, but he didn’t mind it at all. Hearing his son’s pleasured moans and the cock threatening to unhinge Ahmed’s jaw was enough to get Jerry’s own dick hard.

“Make me see white,” Jerry breathed as he drew back with a pop. He spread his legs, trying to show as much of his ass he could. “Fuck me hard, Clay. I don’t think I can live without that cock inside of me once.”

“Say no more.” With a grunt of effort, Clay lifted Jerry up and placed him down onto one of the benches. “Don’t worry, I’ll be nice and gentleman-y like.” Leaning up to steal another sensual kiss, Clay teased the rim of Ahmed’s hole with his cockhead. Jerry moaned and bit down on his lips. He took a few breaths, trying to relax, before just leaning back and staring up at the ceiling. "Hold on, relax," whispered Clay, using a finger to loosen him up. "Got some lube in my locker. Give me a sec."

“You have what?” Jerry exclaimed as Clay briefly walked off. “H-How often do you do this here.”

Once Clay returned, he just grinned and said, “Enough.”

Though Jerry wanted to continue asking his son, the finger that penetrated him had another idea. Jerry, nearly cross-eyed, immediately tightened as a reflex. He leaned back, moaning like a slut as Clay slipped in another finger. Then another. “F-Fuck, I-I’m fucking cumming!” Jerry shouted as his dick erupted with shot after shot of pent-up aggression.

“Damn, came from just fingering?” Clay grinned. “Hope you still got fuel in the tank, Ahmed. I still haven’t got a chance to shoot my shot.”

Breathing heavily, Jerry nodded as he spread his legs even further. Despite his climax abating, the sensual haze in his mind didn’t leave. Instead, he felt as though he could cum again and again that night. “I’m still not satisfied. Split me in half, Clay!” He moaned. Although the more logical part of Jerry's mind screamed and begged, he didn't give a shit. He just wanted this hunky hole filled and his son's cock was the one thing that could fix that.

Clay wasted no time. He spread Jerry as much as he cut and gave a slow, experimental thrust. When Jerry didn't scream, he slowly picked up the pace. "Mm, yeah. Nrgh, fuck yeah," he grunted with every thrust. There was no reason to go so quick that it would take away from the passion. As promised, he was gentle with strong, rhythmic thrusts. Jerry met each one with the same rhythm. Every nerve seemed to be on fire as Clay's cock filled him—as though Jerry was finally complete. With this body and this cock inside of him, he was reaching Nirvana.

After what seemed like a lifetime of pleasure, Jerry noticed Clay’s core tightening. His face was flushed and his body was covered in a sheen of sweat. “I’m—nggh—I’m gonna blow my load. Want me to cum inside?” Jerry quickly nodded. Clay grinned. “Good answer.” With renewed vigor, Clay continued plowing into Jerry as he babbled nonsense. “C’mon, Ahmed. Scream for me.” He said, slapping Ahmed’s quivering thighs.

“Oh my god,” said Jerry, covering his face to hide the tears. He was elated and embarrassed all at once. His own offspring was smashing him and all he could do was moan and allow it to happen. It had been years since he had sex this good, and he knew that Ahmed felt the same. No, for Ahmed it was even more intense. Somehow, Jerry understood that Ahmed had never had sex before. Now, at that moment, Jerry was losing his virginity for Ahmed. With that in mind, Jerry could feel his climax swiftly approaching.

“I'm gonna nut! I'm gonna—MMM!" Jerry stopped as Clay suddenly embraced him with a long, intense kiss. Unable to handle the heat and the passion any longer, Jerry climaxed. Both of their bodies became drenched in semen, but neither of them cared. All they wished was to taste as much of themselves in that kiss.

Sorry, Ahmed, thought Jerry, lemme just stay in this body for a little while longer. I’ll leave tomorrow in the morning. Promise.

[kevinwastaken]

sonic movie 2 spoilers under the cut i have A LOT to say holy shit

HOLY SHIT THIS MOVIE IS BETTER THAN THE FIRST I LOVED IT

theres so much i want to say but i have NO IDEA how to start or how to end

first and foremost they did knuckles SO MUCH JUSTICE sega wishes they could write as well as whoever the hell made this script. hes no longer the comic relief dumbass, hes a warrior!! like he used to be!! and he has dignity and honour!! and hes a little gullible but its okay, thats how he originally was anyway x

AND TAILS!! his camaraderie with sonic was so great. i loved how he came all the way to help him from whatever planet hes from and how they just bonded so well immediately and theyre already like brothers I LOVE IT

particularly i liked the scene on the beach where sonic and knuckles stopped and breathed for a sec after having lost the master emerald to robotnik and bonded over what happened to them both the day longclaw died. i liked how they related it back as knuckles’s family was fighting against her and UGH it was so sad but it was so great

AND THE REFS! they never cease to amaze me. i counted a dr robotniks mean bean machine ref (which is funny because ive been thinking about booting up my ps2 again to play it, i want to get good at puyo puyo), a sonic adventure reference during the dance off in siberia, AND ALL THE SONIC 3 AND KNUCKLES REFS!! jesus christ. theres probably more, but theyre slipping my mind

post sleep edit, remembered the manuel in the death egg looking like a manuel for a sega genesis game, that got a chuckle out of me iirc LOL

also kinda feel bad for rachel and what happened in her wedding. poor girl got set up and for what😭 a sting operation? its positively TRAGIC

ALSO THE WAY THEY ALL CAME TOGETHER AT THE END LIKE IT WAS SONIC HEROES I LOVED THAT!!!! I CAN TELL THEYRE GOING TO BE BESTIES JUST BY THE END SCENE WHERE THEYRE PLAYING BASEBALL I LOVE IT I LOVE IT

AND HOLY SHIT MY JAW DROPPED THE MOMENT I KNEW SUPER SONIC WAS GONNA SHOW UP OH MY GOD i shouldve seen it coming with the inclusion of the master emerald and the chaos emeralds and everything BUT OH MY GOD???? HE WAS SO STUNNING!!!! HE LOOKED ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS IN THE MOVIE I WAS IN AWE

AND THE ENDDDD OH MY GOD THE POST CREDITS SCENE WITH SHADOW!!!! I HAD A FEELING HE WAS GOING TO SHOW UP BUT I SCREAMED WHEN THEY SHOWED HIM I CANT WAIT FOR THE THIRD MOVIE!!!!! I BET THERES GONNA BE THIS WHOLE THING WITH GERALD ROBOTNIK, MARIA, THE INCIDENT WITH GUN STORMING THE SPACE COLONY ARK, I CANT WAIT!!!!!!

i did have a few gripes though. theyre a bit miniscule though

first of all, fuck whoever decided robotnik should floss. fuck you for that

second, did not enjoy how small the emeralds were. i know its probably so they can make sense in a human filled world but the emeralds were literally the size of my finger. and the master emerald was the size of ONE in game chaos emerald

also was a bit weirded out by agent stone drawing robotnik in his lattes but ummm hes gay so its fine idk the fujoshis will have a field day with that

alsooo kind of sad there wasnt anything with crazy carl drawing tails gets trolled or uganda knuckles. that wouldve been funny i think

ANYWAY GO WATCH THE MOVIE GO WATCH IT NOW IM GONNA PISS MYSELF I LOVED IT

ps whoever runs this show please bring in crush 40 to write the ending song of the next movie im tired of this kid cudi guy

[kaypeace21]

Analyzing the 5 plays in this drama club poster .From the bts pics of stranger things 4.

So... some of ya’ll know I'm going through the st s4 films given to us by the official st twitter + the films reffed in the show itself or mentioned by the Duffers in interviews .

So I decided to look at the plays mentioned here. Because even if we don't see the monologues in the show directly - the Duffers wouldn't name drop anything unless it inspired them in some way. Similar to films name dropped in the show. Tw : for some dark themes .

This is just a quick little analysis I decided to do since we probably won't get any new st content today (3/22). Nothing too deep. Just mentioning things that caught my interest especially cause these plays have a lot of narrative connections to the st s4 movies I've been watching.

Invitation to a march (Authur laurents)

Reminds me of the stancy/jancy love triangle. "A young woman is having second thoughts about doing the right thing and marrying a respectable , rich, kind, young man with good prospects.By way of a prewedding diversion, this woman becomes interested in the passionate but poor and entirely unsuitable son of a local landlord.Basically, the plot concerns the efforts of Norma Brown to choose between a conventional fiance who "puts her to sleep" but is wealthy (like what her own mother did) or go for this new-poor guy. The play is principally interested in how this youthful love triangle affects the three mothers involved (whether the kids like it or not)

12th night (Shakespeare)

 - viola (el) wrongly assumes a family member (hopper) is dead. She dresses up as a man named 'cesario'. A girl named Olivia falls for 'cesario' (violet dressed as a man). "Finally, when 'Cesario' and Sebastian (violet's twin brother: assumed to have drowned - Will) appear in the presence of Olivia there is more wonder and confusion at their physical similarity. Taking Sebastian for 'Cesario', Olivia asks him to marry her, and they are secretly married in a church. Cough if Olivia is 'straight' cause she fell for Viola (as a doppleganger dressed like her twin brother).Mike being into el who multiple characters in s1 said looked like a boy and specifically like Will is...suspish and a hint he's not straight lol. just like Olivia they're both into guys . plus, this play just has a butt load of love triangles (ugh i hated that aspect). There was also romantically coded letters (which was in the s4 films) . One character is also thrown into an insane asylum and framed as 'insane'.'Pretending that Malvolio is insane, they lock him up in a dark chamber. Feste visits him to mock his insanity'. We all know the psych hospital will be narratively important- talked about it more here.

The seagull (Anton Chekhov-russian)

similar to how I believed s4 will show m*#even already broken up since the months between s3-4 : act 3 (s3) ends with Nina begging for one last chance to be with Trigorin before he leaves/moves away. They kiss and make plans to meet again in Moscow.And in act 4 there's a timeskip where it shows they've been broken up for a long time between acts- and its established they never actually loved eachother. Do i even have to spell out why this parallels the m*#even ending in s3? There is also a play within the play (this is common in a lot of the st films- they have plays- or a story within a story- which illustrate certain themes or emotions of the characters within said film : blackswan, children of paradise, highschool musical, Rushmore, book of Henry, welcome to marwen, never ending story, romancing the stone, wet hot American summer, etc).The play is Konstantin's latest attempt at creating a dense symbolist work. There is also alot of love triangles in the seagull. TW!: for se#ual ab*se/su*cidal thoughts/ inc*st (here and in other play segments). The seagull motif reminds me a lot of Jonathan's rabbit story.Konstantin romantically into Nina shows up to give her a gull that he has shot. Nina is confused and horrified . Trigorin sees the gull that Konstantin has shot and muses to Nina on how he could use it as a subject for a short story: "The plot for the short story: a young girl lives all her life on the shore of a lake. She loves the lake, like a gull, and she's happy and free, like a gull. But a man arrives by chance, and when he sees her, he destroys her, out of sheer boredom. Like this gull."  This immediately reminded me of jon's rabbit story and some of the movies on the s4 list . Like in forrest gump- Jenny (who is poor) was se*ually ab*sed as a very young girl by her father. As a child she runs away into a field-away from her alcoholic father yelling at her -there she prays that she can "be a bird so I can fly far far away" .

Jenny as an adult struggles with this unresolved trauma- being with ab*sive partners, doing dr*gs, and having su*cidal thoughts . She as an adult when contemplating su*icide, jokes 'you think i can fly like a bird ?' while looking down at a bridge.God-i'm worried about jonathan (Jenny was also a musician sort of like jon). In another s4 movie example ' mystic river ' :(in the 80s) a preteen baseball playing boy is r*ped by men in the woods. He later says he wishes he could become an undead monster to not feel the pain of that experience - cause quote " if I'm not human anymore maybe the pain will stop" (Will) . slightly off topic but he also has another personality, imagines a alternate word that dissappears when he turns his head. And as a less direct animal parallel to the play - the boy from the film also imagined his perpetrators as monsters and wolves to cope.In 'getout' the photographer character sees a dead deer in the woods and it represents a parent/his own childhood tra*ma relating to his past. similarly in 'prince of tides' the 2 siblings as kids were ra*ed by men. The older brother remembered it and the younger sibling developed DID (so didn't remember but she would draw wolves- as the perpetrators/villains in her picture stories she created . In the film they also had an ab*sive dad and were very poor. She also tried k*ling herself multiple times-but started to get better after remembering the source of her pain and trauma.  There is also the theme of multiple attempted su*cides in the play- and the play ends with yet another attempt- and the audience is left unaware of the artist's fate at the end of the play.

The tempest (Shakespeare)

Prospereo - (the perceived antagonist) is a wizard with monstrous looks, storm powers , and ability to create monster-dogs

He wants revenge on a man who tried ra*ing his family member & revenge on his other family member who wronged him years ago. I mean... pretty much my did theory.But in the end.Prospero decides to show his enemies the mercy that they did not show him twelve years earlier. He tells Ariel to bring the men to him, he will restore their sanity and then renounce magic forever.Prospero breaks the spell that the men are under .

Diary of a scoundrel (Alexander Ostrovsky-Russian)

-  I suppose this could loosely relate to Jonathan? Glumov, is a young man from an impoverished family lacking status seeking entrance into society's pampered class. A 19th-century Russian scoundrel must scheme his way out of his meager life in a small apartment -whatever it takes.He has a quick mind and some talent for seeing through the hypocrisies of people around him ( Jonathan does make a lot of social critiques about society). That gives him some advantages. A tale of one man's mission to finagle his way into upper-class society and find a cushy job. Set in 1874, this social comedy follows Glumov, a Russian youth who begins his ambitious ascent to social esteem. He progresses by wit, guile and rhetoric. Pitting one stupid person against another, he soon gains his ends. To reach these goals, Glumov will lie, flatter, and cater to the vanities of the wealthy. Unable to contain his disgust with his victims, Glumov decides to relieve his unvoiced satirical comments by recording his schemes in a diary. But he is tripped up by his uncle's wife, to whom he has made passionate love on his way to success. At the end of the play, his diary is stolen and his duplicity exposed, but he can nevertheless suceeds. The author is much more critical about the high society itself than about the main character, so the play keeps attracting generations of directors by opening possibilities for political criticism while also avoiding naming names of the current rulers.The play's aim was to overthrow bourgeois tradition and establish a class-conscious art called eccentricism giving a deliberately comic portrayal of reality.

I suppose I notice some possible commonalities-  besides s3 critiquing the wealthy/capitalism in comedic ways . jonathan since s1 has worried about his family's finances / had some resentment toward the rich . In some of the s4 movies ‘orphan’ & ‘ girl interrupted’ someone reads their diary out loud to get at them (in girl interrupted the winona character’s diary even had critiques of her new friends).  Alot of movies also have someone (usually a teen/young adult) making a documentary about their life -which could narratively replace said diary? A few movies have a poor guy adjusting to snobby rich social circles (or being poor and then getting money)- titanic, kingsmen, karate kid, the craft , godfather,  wardogs,into the spiderverse,flashdance, and many others . And movies like wardogs has a poor-young-character do shady things to finacially support his family . There’s also that whole uncle’s wife thing- which makes me uncomfortable for obvious reasons (but I’m just thinking of Lonnie’s creepy gf who was into him). A few movies had the guy’s step mom innappropriately hit on him- orange county & you got mail. And him trying to avoid her advances. Or...not to mention ... it may be a problematic coincidence /trope. But in enter the void -the guy who needs to finacially support his sibling/ does dr*gs -hooks up with his dr*g dealing friend’s married mom (who would give him money).  Or in gilbert grape- the poor teen-who has to finacially support his siblings/single mom-has his endgame relationship be a girl his own age. But before that he h*oked up with a married woman -who would give him money. Don’s plum -young film guy-propositioned by older female film director (for dream job). Not even mentioning the other films that have the guy hooking up with toxic older women (like ‘the graduate’). Or analyze this-where the therapist accuses him of having an Oedipus complex (not touching that one... but the guy in ‘enter the void’ a 100% had one). It’s possible those movies were just- inspo for s3?  A coincidence? Or s3 was foreshadowing for this in s4- but unlike s3 it will accurately be played as wrong  and a sign of Jonathan recreating past tra*ma caused by Lonnie (cough like the photos) /being desperate for money. And not played ‘comedically’ like how it mostly was in s3. But shown as self destructive  (for Jon) and immoral on the Woman’s end. Like... Billy and Jon are character foils. Both are older siblings into rock music, with ab*sive dads who shoved them into walls. Both lose it (and beat steve to a pulp when Steve accidentally triggers their daddy issues). In s3 it’s established womanizer Billy has mommy issues, than he tries ho*king up with someone his mom’s age, and the characters ref ‘back to the future ‘ and Steve incorrectly says it’s about “alex p keaton trying to bang his mom.” This could illustrate his subconscious issues with parental figures/adults cause of Lonnie’s  possible past se*ual ab*se . One film the friend even says to the guy “you don’t have friends!” guy b: i have friends! him:  no you have acquaintances! ADMIT IT! YOU’RE AFRAID OF MEN!I mean-Jonathan liked Nancy- but he initially hooked up with her cause he wanted to prove he didn’t have ‘trust issues’ from his dad. Also it’s prob a bit of a reach (and maybe a coincidence)- but the fact Murray in the same breath compares Steve (Nancy’s then bf) and Lonnie  ... uh... if you think too long about it ... it’s very sinister .  Especially because in s3: muray tells Joyce  that despite her wanting to be with a nice guy, she’s curious about “the brute” Hopper despite him reminding her of a past “bad relationship”(aka Lonnie). Like- yeah connect some dots.  Quite a few films (other than forrest gump) also have the character who (as a kid) was  r*ped by their dad/parent-  begin to do dr*gs/be pr*miscuous as adults since they never learned to properly cope with their trauma (’girl with the dragon tattoo’,  ‘black swan’, and ‘magnolia’). Unfortunately the whole relative doing such things to kid-relatives is in at least 30+ movies. 

Personally, i would be MUCH happier if Jon had a age appropriate romance- and had not a single creepy adult near him. A few movies actually imply Lonnie gets yet another ‘new model’  replacing his gf in her 20s with a new gf- who is ‘barely l*gal” and just turned 18. so there’s that possibility as well- that she’s jonathan’s age.I just want Jonathan-happy &safe. GOD. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

[leahseclipse]

Thnks fr th Mmrs - (Event Fic)

++

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Warnings: Not that I am aware of. (Please let me know if something should be added later on.)

Summary: Just two idiots in love, but none of them have the guts to say it. Eventually one of them will do it, a bit late tho- but, better now than never.

A/N: HELLO!! Here I am, roughly one month after my last fic, this work got all of us busy, which lead to a bit of panic on the last days, but (I think) we made it all in one piece.

This work is part of the Fic Swap organized by @imagining-in-the-margins, with the help of @sunlight-moonrise! I’ve had the opportunity to write for @spencer-reid-in-a-pool- which is AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, I love her so so so so much. This was awesome to do. (And yeah, for those who got the ref, the title is from one of fob's songs. I had NO other idea and found this one cool.)

Word Count: 8.7k

++

        As much as I wished for it not to haunt me another day— I still had this one problem, written into my brain with bright red ink, unwashable, as it seemed.

I hated to recall that it still remained there, as if it was an unsolved case that someone would have put into archives and brought back up when they were clearing out the shelves.

Unfortunately, it didn’t get lost, I just forgot it was there, and my brain had the wonderful idea of presenting it back to me.

I appreciate it. That was— quite nice.

It wasn’t that I hated it, I just didn’t like the thought of having to deal with it at barely eight in the morning, just before actually dealing with the problem itself— in person.

That problem—couldn’t be someone else but the only one Spencer Reid, the resident genius of the team, or the baby sibling for some of my co-workers.

Once again, I do not dislike him, on the contrary, he’s one the closest person I have in my life to this day, I wouldn’t imagine my life without him.

The problem is mainly directed towards the love, sentimental kind of problem.

Especially when the concerned person isn’t aware of it.

It gets complicated when you can’t even hide your feelings when they’re near.

I get all nervous and weird when he’s in sight, the proofs are right there.

 I remember them all, from the time I broke a mug when I tried to reach it as he was talking or when I almost fell down the stairs when he came in to work one day, looking like a literal god— and wasn’t even aware of it, the list keeps going on for miles.

And I’m still there, sitting with my feelings, waiting for something to happen.

I’m not even sure that he feels the same way. 

I’m here, admiring him, thinking about what could happen if I could resolve myself to talk about it, if he felt the same way, but strangely and for an unknown reason; I can’t.

This issue has been happening all week, the last one, and probably the whole month.

It took me time to figure it out myself.

I only saw us as two good friends at first; we’d hang out together, had the same hobbies, have long conversations without caring about the time, to the point that people would think that we were together.

But I guess that I never realized that he could be more than just a good friend.

And as it couldn’t be more complicated, in these cases, if none out of the two dares to make a move, or talk, it won’t go much further.

Which is exactly what’s been happening at this moment..

I’ve been liking him for a while now, and my brain doesn’t know to do anything else but attack me with as many questions they can come up with at the same time whenever I dare to think about it. 

What if he does like me, but only as a friend? 

Is it going to be awkward between us?

Am I going to lose my friendship with him because of that?

What if he says no? 

What am I left with? My stupid feelings that will keep wandering around, reminding me of my love failure?

If all of these are the things waiting for me till I decide to stop bottling it up, I better have to solve that, soon.

But at the same time, if I take a glance at the negative side, I’m just thinking that it’d be better to keep our friendship as it is, and just pretend as if he’s only a good friend I’m quite close with, not a possible lover.

Since when did I allow myself to see him as that? I wasn’t doing that before.

What caused my feelings to suddenly appear?

He’s always been nice to me, as with everyone else he’s close with, and as far as I’m aware of it, no one’s been in my situation.

If it ever happened, I’m sure that it was purely platonic and didn’t go as far as I’m at.

It’s as bad as a math problem.

Kind of ironic, considering I both suck at figuring out how to say I love someone, deal with feelings, all that love stuff; and at maths.

But, as I think about it further, he didn’t do anything to keep me from crushing on him either, even if he probably didn’t do it because he liked me.

There’s a 50% possibility.

He’d take me in his arms to reassure me, help me with paperwork when I was tired, offer to drive me home, re-filled my mug for me, act close, and by close- not as close as he is with the others.

A different kind of close.

So...who wouldn’t think that way, that he could like me?

He could possibly like me, but about that, I don’t have a single clue to know if he really does.

I do want to try to ask him, in one way or another, but the thing is that , if he doesn’t like me, what is going to happen next? 

Awkward silence? 

Is he going to try to reject me as nicely as possible to not hurt my feelings?

It could be really nice if anything would help me to make all of this mess any clearer.

I don’t want to end up drawing away from him because I can’t help but be in love with him whenever I look at him, but at the same time, I can’t say that I am, in case he’s not in love with me.

Spencer’s one of the most important people in my life; I wouldn’t imagine a day where I wouldn’t talk to him, and even if we’re busy, I try to say hi to him, at least.

I can’t quite imagine not having him ramble about his favorite subject, happy as hell because I’m interested, listening to him, and even participating in it.

I don’t want all of this to stop because of a mistake I could cause.

So, this week will be the one.

I’ll somehow resolve myself to bring up the subject.

I’m sure he’ll understand, he knows me better than anyone else in the whole team, has always been there when I needed someone, he’s always listened when I needed to talk, he helped me out with a lot of issues.

He’s always been understanding, whether the issue would concern him or not, so this shouldn’t be a big problem.

It’ll be fine.

I just have to relax sometimes.

I’m stressing out too much, and I’m pretty sure that he doesn’t stress that much about that, or any subject he might think about.

I even wonder if Spencer already noticed the changes in my behavior and is just waiting for me to talk about it because he doesn’t dare to talk about it as well.

He could feel the same way.

He could.

There’s a chance, a good one, I guess.

It can end well, and I have to keep thinking about the good outcome.

There’s no way he’d react badly, I know him,— Spencer is not the kind of guy to do that, in general.

I trust him on that.

So, today...or later, will be the right one.

It’ll go well.

It’ll be win or lose, basically.

I sighed as I looked at myself for the hundredth time for the past ten minutes, finally resolving myself to leave the apartment before I’d end up being late.

Which isn’t something I’d like to happen.

My ‘love problem’ counts as at least ten problems more than getting yelled at by a superior (if I’m not overreacting, at least) so I don’t really need that to happen, on top of that.

++

I have never been delighted to walk into the office, only to find paperwork from last week waiting for me.

We usually had the whole ‘Garcia runs into the office and throws papers at us before we gather in the conference room and immediately go on a jet at whatever unpleasant hour’ or just purely lazy days where none of us have the strength for any kind of celebration.

But today happened to be a calm one, we just had to do whatever task we had left to do before we can allow ourselves to go back home to either sleep all day to fix our long broken sleep schedule, or do whatever event we might come with, such as dates or trying to find a guy in a party, for some of us.

It’s nice that we don’t have to worry about when we’ll be able to come back to work, we just go in, do our task and go home at whatever hour, a decent one.

I’d say that this happened to be more than convenient -in a way- for Spencer and I.

More time for talking, hanging out together, mostly what we do when not on an active case.

If I’m not mistaken, I think that I may have heard one of them saying that we were dating because of how frequently we’d be found together.

I did want to say we were dating as a joke, but I was afraid that it’d end up being awkward after that if- as said earlier when I woke up-, he didn’t feel the same.

But at the same time, whether he feels the same way or not, I don’t really have a reason to think about that as Spencer wouldn’t react badly.

Knowing him, he’d probably play along.

At my arrival at the bureau; everyone was scattered a bit around; which wasn’t to be seen on a case day, usually.

We just had to hope we wouldn't have a surprise case to ruin it all.

As I greeted everyone before settling at my desk, I noticed one person missing.

Spencer wasn't usually late, so...I didn't really know what might make him late.

Knowing him, he may have woken up late because he had watched tv till 2AM, and ran to the coffee shop to not look dead at his arrival. 

Yep, that’s him.

Let’s hope he won’t break a bone when he’s going to attempt to run to not be late, it’s...yeah.

So, don’t rush Spencer, it’s calm as hell here, you don’t need a trip to the ER so soon in the morning.

“Oh, hey!”

I turned around to be faced with Spencer, papers in hand. “When did you get there? I didn’t see you when I arrived like...five minutes ago. I thought you weren’t here yet.”

“Oh, I was doing copies. I’m sorry if I worried you, I should have sent a text.”

“No- It’s okay, don’t worry. You’re here...now.”

“Yeah, I’m here. Do you have a lot of paperwork? Figured out we could talk in between.” He asked.

“No, I don’t have a lot, and...sure, I could use a talk- I mean uh...talk, yeah.”

That was a shitty save.

“I’m glad, I didn't want to bother you if you were busy.”

“Even if my whole desk was covered in papers, you know I’d always find a minute to talk. I get easily distracted.”

Please don’t take it the ‘love’ way, or just...don’t think I get distracted by you in a ‘not-a-friend’ way— gosh, I’m not gonna be able to save it with whatever sentence.

“You know that’s the same for me. I always have a hundred subjects popping up just when I try to focus.”

“Yeah, same. It’s a bit...annoying.” 

“Depends. It’s not really when you’re in them.” Spencer admitted.

Is this an attempt at killing me right on the spot? You’re really going to kill me by being so damn nice.

“Oh...really? I didn’t know.”

That was shit.

“Well uh...now you do that it’s not always annoying up there and that’s your part of the non-bothering stuff.” He pointed out.

“That’s the- same for you, yeah.” I answered, slightly nervous.

“Didn’t know we had that too in common, that’s funny.”

Not so sure about the other detail you don’t know about-

“We learn new stuff everyday at least. I guess it’s...useful to know? I don’t know.” I chuckled.

“Yeah, there’s not much to do with that information, it’s more of a...fact thing-y. You know I like that stuff.”

I raised my eyebrow. “Who doesn’t?”

“Yeah, everyone does at this point, but that’s a quarter of what they know, I think that you’re the only one that knows the most about me, not everyone.”

You have to stop before I drop dead on the floor right now.

“I have to remind you that it’s kind of the same for you.”

“People are definitely thinking we’re together at this point, we’re pretty close so they have every right to believe that.”

“Does it...bother you?”

“Oh, no, not really. You’re a pretty girl so that’s kind of...nice that they think that a nerd like me could be in a relationship with you.”

Okay, I just stopped functioning right now.

What am I supposed to even say? You’re a literal god, you’re handsome as HELL- 

“Oh- you’re uh- good looking so, that’s...normal I guess.”

“You think so?” He asked, unsure.

Oh, please. Tell me you’re kidding, it’s impossible that no one hasn’t told you of your AMAZING handsomeness, the fact that you’re amazingly-

Yeah, we got it y/n. 

“Yeah, really.” I confirmed.

“Thanks, I guess.”

“No problem, Spence.” I said, as we both went to our respective tasks.

At least I avoided a heart attack, that’s what matters, he just has to stop being so cute and pretty, all the time because I’m gonna have trouble acting like I’m not in fucking love with him if he keeps going.

Just- breathe, and focus on your work. 

We’re gonna talk together, and it’s gonna be okay.

There’s no reason that a problem would occur, I just had a talk with him, and it went...almost perfectly smooth. 

The ‘almost’ part is when I almost had a heart attack, which isn’t the first I’ve had with him, and won’t be the last.

If he would just stop being so handsome all of the time.

I sighed, reading the paper all over again as I lost focus...again.

As I was reading, my pen in hand and the tip of it slightly touching the sheet— I didn’t even realize that I had been scribbling on the paper, as if I was in middle school and bored in class all over again.

It was kind of….fun. 

I didn’t get to do that everyday, so I’d say that it was diversifying compared to any other stressful day where these...doodles wouldn't even happen or to be thought about because of the amount and importance of the work.

I still think about him, even when I’m busy as hell though.

He’s always in my thoughts, I don't know how he does it because I’m pretty sure I don’t do that with anyone else in the bureau. 

Is that kind of over thinking considered as an obsession or not at this point? I’m not quite sure of it anymore, but...it's not "psychopath, stalker-like", he's just an important person that matters to me.

I just really like him, that’s all.

He also told me that I tend to be in his mind often, so...I guess we're even.

I guess so.

“Hey, is everything...okay? You’ve been staring blankly for a...while. Is that my-” He started to point out.

I panicked, quickly hiding the papers with other ones. “What? Oh, uh...I was-” I blurted out. “...thinking.”

“You’ll probably have to...print out new ones. I don't think Hotch will accept papers with scribbles, you know. I can print out some copies for you, if you want?”

“No- It’s fine, I can go, thanks for asking! It’s nice of you but uh- I’m going.” I answered, as I abruptly clicked back on the software to print out copies, and walked to the breakroom after...awkwardly waving.

Why the hell was I scribbling down his name like I was...a middle schooler having a crush on her classmate?

I have no idea why, but this was...kind of embarrassing at the moment.

I seriously have to stop worrying about each thing that happens.

He probably didn’t care as much as I did.

I shook my head as I arrived in the breakroom, now empty as Luke and Matt had previously left from what I saw a bit ago when I looked in that direction.

I didn’t mind, at least I’d avoid embarrassment because of how weird my expression probably looks.

So, everyone, please don’t come now, wait until I pick up my papers, that’d be more than appreciated.

++

Should I call Spencer?

I don’t want to be a bother, I know he enjoys spending time alone off work.

Would he be happy to hear me?

I don’t know.

I’ll call him later, if I’m settled on it.

I’ve been pacing in that small apartment of mine for at least the last couple of minutes, or maybe an hour, I don’t have the habit of noting the duration of my nonsense usually.

I don’t even know why I’m pacing again and again just to decide about a call.

I’m sure he doesn’t even do that.

Does that mean it makes me...crazy?

Not necessarily.

It could.

Maybe.

I’ll just- whatever.

Do something useful like cleaning your apartment and answering emails, and you’ll see if you have a minute to spare to call Spencer.

That works that way.

See, you can stop stressing.

Just do another task to distract yourself and have less things to worry about, so it’ll be easier to decide about the ‘call matter’ thingy.

++

I did not call him, if that’s what anyone wondered.

The only call I made was with Penelope, after she called me numerous times to ask me about the books we’ve been yelling about for a few weeks.

I had supposed she had also wanted to talk about Spencer, as the whole office had been conspiring about our possible relationship.

But, she held it off, and cut the call after saying ‘I better hang up or I’ll be talking about the book for another decade’.

Kind of looks like me and my thoughts with Spencer.

I hope I’ll get to let all of those out, if we ever have the chance to have a talk about the feelings matter.

I never had that many ‘things matters’, I’m even inventing some new words along the way.

Crazy what love can do, if that’s what started it.

I can’t recall that either, I’ve been more focusing on the matter itself than the name of it.

Love will do, I guess.

++

“What are you up to?” I asked, peering over Spencer’s desk.”

“Well, technically...nothing new. I’ve been reading that for the past week, I tend to do that with books I really like.” He closed it, looking at me. “Is that weird?”

“Not at all. I’m doing the same with shows and movies, and even- who cares if it’s weird? If we like doing that, we don’t have to worry about what others might think about it.”

“You’re right, I shouldn’t worry that much.”

“I worry about small things too, you’re not alone on the ride.” I pointed out, sitting back at my desk.

“Glad to know I have someone I’m sure won’t judge on that.”

“I would never judge you on anything, well- aside from the ‘sugar’ matter we’ve been having for a while, nothing else.”

“You’ll be debating about it for a while then. I’m not about to stop having my ‘sugar with my coffee’, as Morgan says.”

“The amount you put in it is disgusting.”

“Not to me.”

“Well it is to me, and probably everyone else. How do you not get sick?”

“No idea. I’ve been doing that for years and never had problems of any kind. Maybe you’re all the ones that are weird.”

“Hey! You’re weird too. If you wouldn’t be, I wouldn’t be talking with you.”

“I’m less weird than you, at least.”

“Pff. Just get back to work, weirdo.”

I love you, weird genius.

++

No, I didn’t get to talk to him about the…’love matter thingy’.

We did spend a lot of time together but I didn’t get the nerve to find a way to ask, instead of going straight to the thing.

I have no idea if I was imagining things or if it was real but...he did look a lot like me, and...his look wasn’t the kind of look you’d give a friend.

He also seemed...nervous, I guess?

Would it be wrong for me to think that he could possibly like me, as well?

That’s better than always thinking he doesn’t, a little hope doesn’t hurt, it’s always nice to think on the bright side for once.

Maybe I could be right.

I kind of hope I am.

++

I didn’t think till now that it would be such a relief to see my whole desk cleared from most of the papers.

 I’ve turned in most of my reports- and that kind of sounds like I’m talking as if I’m in school and turning in assignments at the end of the day to be honest.

All of the papers that laid around were gone, and it kind of seemed like the work day had reached its end.

It kind of was a nice day, it’s nice to have days like that from time to time to take a break from all of the stress and shit from cases.

As I had gathered back all of my stuff, and all that was in mind was to walk out of here and rush to my apartment.

Just as I turned around, Spencer was standing in front of me; I didn’t even see him come by.

“You- gosh, you really scared me. Speak up next time.” I said, nervously laughing.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to- Did you uh...get hurt?”

“No, I didn’t have- get anything. I’m okay, thanks- Are you going home too?”

“Yeah, yeah, I am and...I also-”

“You also…?”

“I wanted to talk to you...again, about something.”

I feel like that ‘something’ might be the ‘something’ I’ve been wanting to talk to you about for weeks.

“Uh, go ahead, I guess. I can’t really start the conversation as I have no idea what it’s about…”

“Okay, uh...I’ve been uh, wanting to ask, for a while, if you wanted to hang out, sometimes. I know we do, pretty often, but I’d be like...hanging out together, maybe dinner...” He looked elsewhere, searching for his words.

“...you mean a date? Is that...what you want to say?”

“Yeah, that! I just- I thought I’d be weird to ask you, just like that. I mean...it’s kind of random and I thought that- you understood the thing.”

Please, that’s what I’ve been thinking about for a decade, how could I not understand that-

“It’s not weird, I’m just...surprised?”

“Oh, I’m- glad? I just...didn’t think you’d accept and...I was kind of afraid that I’d make a fool of myself by asking you that.”

“Wait a minute though-  You’re really asking me out, right now? I’m not making fun of you, it’s just still...wow.”

I just thought you would never do it, or that I’d be the one asking and receiving a negative answer.

“I swear that I’m not. I’d never joke about that, especially to you, and since I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I guess I was afraid of the answer.”

“Please don’t laugh, or anything but...kind of the same thing was happening to me, about you.”

“So...we’ve been thinking about it, and none of us knew? Wow, that’s...I didn’t think that was happening all this time.”

“Seems so.”

“Have you been uh...thinking about it for a while, like me?”

“Kind of...yeah. I’ve...liked you for a while but, didn’t think you’d be interested. I’ve had a lot of male friends that were acting like you, but weren’t interested in me, so I thought...that was the case.” I admitted.

“You have no idea how much I appreciate you, and not only in a friendly way. I’ve liked you for a bit, and as I said, I was afraid of what you’d say, so...I told myself that waiting for the right moment would be better.”

“....yeah, same. I don’t think we’d ever get to have a conversation about it but- did you uh...resolved yourself to do it because of…”

“..the paper thing? Yeah, and no. It’s been on my mind for a bit. I just thought this would...kind of- be the right moment. I know that it's not the ideal place, but I just thought, it’s now or never.”

“At least...it’s cleared out?” I asked.

“Yeah, it is. I’m glad we know about...the feelings stuff and all.”

“You have no idea how I am. This is- wow, sorry, this was kind of sudden, and I...didn’t think that’d happen. Just this morning I thought about talking about it somewhere this week and now- did you read my expression or something and guessed or…? Because just as I thought about it, you talked to me.” I explained.

“I guess so. I’ve been thinking about it for a bit, and...I didn’t want to wait more as I wouldn’t have ever talked, as for you.”

“Would you have waited another week for me to tell it or would you have stepped in before?”

“I think it would have depended on where we would be. Because, if we were outside, I think that I would have preferred something nicer than a bureau, you know. Even if I like it, to be honest. But, I wouldn’t say it’s the best setup to ask someone on a date?”

I shrugged. “Not the best, but, it’s better than- I don’t know...a grocery store or something?” 

“Yeah- it’s better.”

“At least you’ll get a better shot at asking me out on another date after that one.”

“I’ll definitely do better.”

“I trust you on that one. But- I want to home right now though, I kind of miss my couch...and my fridge, maybe.”

“I’m with you on both ones- after you.” Spencer offered, as the elevator opened, stepping in after me. 

“Be careful with the whole gentlemen thing, you’re gonna have to bring me coffee everyday soon.”

“I’m already doing that with mine, bringing yours won’t hurt. You’ll probably have a bill at the end of each month.”

“In your dreams, Reid.”

++

The care that had been put by Spencer on our first date was truly amazing.

It looked like he planned it months ago, it could almost be seen as a kind of proposal if someone else would see it.

He insisted on picking me up himself, did not tell me a single thing about where we were going till we were there, which was weird...but made it exciting and fun.

I have to say that I was...quite nervous too.

I never even thought that I’d be here, on a literal date with Spencer Reid himself; I’ve had dreams about it, thought about it, but never thought it’d actually happen.

None of this was a joke, he was more than serious about it.

I don’t think that even one thought I had looked like this moment, he insisted for it to be an awesome first date we’d both remember for a while, and I wish it could have lasted longer.

Time went by, way too fast that when we both saw the time, it was already 10PM.

As we could have work, and that sleeping early would be convenient if we happen to be called in early, we decided to end the night there, even if none of us really wanted to.

“We should stay in next time. That way we won’t be tired, you know. It’s kind of late.” Spencer pointed out, as we walked to my place.

“You sure? It’s gonna be Grey’s Anatomy or whatever cheesy tv show I watch for the night.”

“I don’t mind. I’ll probably try to point out the mistakes, it’ll be like...a game night you know.”

“Oh, yeah. It could. But, I think I’m gonna be the one to lose as the only ‘medical knowledge’ I have from that show is from that show. And, as Google isn’t to be trusted, I’m gonna lose.”

“It could also include a...spot cheesy moments thing.”

“Season one is full of it. We’re gonna have a lot to talk about. I would have proposed Star Trek but apparently, there’s not much scientific errors, it’s pretty accurate from what I heard. We could settle on Doctor Who if we can’t decide.”

“Would you like it though? You told me you don’t watch it usually.”

“You could tell me about it, it could be good. We could also try Supernatural, it’s kind of mystery stuff with paranormal stuff?”

“Ghosts, spirit and the whole heaven/hell thing?”

“Yeah, there’s a lot going on. And...it's kind of in the title. I’d have to warn you though, I’m kind of obsessed with the main leads, so don't get jealous or something.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t judge you. It’s a judgement free-zone.”

You raised your eyebrows, staying silent for a split second.“...you judged me when I didn’t add any sugar in my coffee.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Spencer, please- you looked at me weirdly, as if I committed a crime.” 

“Not in a mean way- I just put a ton, so, seeing someone putting none was weird.” He admitted.

“I’m judging you on that then. You’re putting way too much in that. It’s sugar with liquid at this point, it's melted candy.”

“I hate the strong taste.”

“Then drink tea.” I proposed.

“It’s too light.”

“Just end up drinking water.” I said, running out of ideas.

“No, I prefer to stay with my sugar with liquid.”

As you wish.” I agreed, as we came to a stop.

“So...we’re there.”

“Yep, we are. I’ll see you tomorrow?” I asked.

“Yeah, tomorrow.” Spencer repeated, coming forward to plant a kiss on my cheek. “Have a good night.”

“Spencer, you missed. You kissed my cheek.”

“Oh I- are you fine with it…?”

“Just kiss me, Reid.” I replied back, while one of his came on my left cheek, the other laying on my waist as he stepped forward once again, kissing me on the lips.

All of it was perfect.

It was only the two of us, the world around us had froze.

My arms ended up winding up around his neck as he brought me close, his warmth, smell invading my emotions, my whole thoughts.

I had totally forgotten about everything else, he was the center of my attention, I couldn’t allow myself to go on another track when he happened to be near me, this close.

Never have I thought that months ago, as I was crushing on a man I thought wouldn’t like me, would actually like me, and kiss me.

We were literally starting to date.

This better be real, I better not be in a coma after whatever accident I might have had.

Because this— this is way better than a dream, than I imagined.

I would be so mad if that wouldn’t end up to be real— but it is.

All of the things I’d feel, whether it was him, his hand on my cheek radiating his warmth on me, his breath, his lips slotting against mine, his arm enlacing my waist, the grip on my waist gentle, the feeling of the fabric of his jacket against my fingers, or even my own feelings, all of the memories, thoughts floating around, there was just way too many things to describe, but I could still list them all of a sudden if I were to be asked about the aftermath of it.

I couldn’t wish for a better moment like this.

I think that the fact that this moment was probably totally unexpected made it even more special for the two of us.

Neither of us will forget, ever.

This moment totally replaced the message written in bright red ink that reminded me that I still had these feelings laying around that I kept pushing away by fear of rejection.

The rejection seemed long gone, for me, he happened to be having similar feelings, probably fearing a negative event as well.

Turns out nothing bad happened for the both of us.

Only our truest desires, what we wished for but didn’t dare to as the bad ones were stronger.

The bad pushed the joy we could have really lived if the feelings were mutual.

And now, it is.

We both know that the other likes us, that the bad is long gone behind us.

I could tell that, from my side, because of this moment.

I didn’t want it to stop, ever.

I wished to live this kind of event that could give the chance for all of these amazing feelings to fill my whole mind.

No more fear, pain, sadness, just calm, reassuring, soothing feelings.

The ones that make you feel that nothing can hurt you anymore, that make you feel safe, happy, this is all I’ve ever wanted.

I didn’t even count how many minutes that lasted, I was too focused on...the wonderful person in front of me and all the feelings that came with it.

It was quite the overwhelming one, and for once, it wasn’t an unpleasant overwhelming, it made me feel happy.

Mostly because I’d never thought feelings could be so deep, numerous, amazing to think about, and then, even more happy feelings would pop up again, and again.

I’d almost forgotten we were still in front of my building, and that it was...really late.

I almost think that I didn’t remember the world had kept moving, that people walked by to see two people making out in the street.

I guess I sort of apologize, but don’t really care.

I was in my moment and did not care if anyone saw us.

When we both slowed down in our movements, ceasing after a few seconds; I slightly stepped back, letting his hand rest on my cheek for a little bit more when I put mine on his.

I simply didn’t want the feeling of his warmth to ever stop.

I did not want any of what this moment made me feel to ever stop after I had to experience it with no one but a person that deeply matters to me.

The only person I’ve ever wanted to feel this kind of amazing feelings with.

I didn’t want it to stop.

Not yet.

Not ever.

It was amazing.

He was amazing.

As we both started to take our breaths back, when his hand dropped from my cheek to my waist, joining the other, the feeling of looking in his eyes once again was astounding.

It was just a glance.

But, when you happen to be in total love, it isn’t just a simple glance, it’s always a special one.

What you feel about it won’t ever change.

I’m sure of it, in my case.

I wish I could be looking at him forever.

But...not that I want to ruin the moment but, it was really late, and windy.

Not the best time to look at each other for hours.

After a certain amount of time, Spencer had been the one to briefly break contact, before maintaining it once again, but with a different emotion plastered on his face this time.

“I’m sorry for...before, I panicked and I-”

Okay, here goes nothing.

“I don’t want you to go yet.” I admitted. “That's kind of the reason...I said and did that too. I wanted to kiss you but, it was also to feel you close a bit more, a four hour date wasn’t enough and I don’t think it’ll ever be.”

He seemed surprised at my confession.

Just say something, I hate it when there’s a blank.

Especially when I just said this to you.

“...if you want me to stay, just tell me.” He said. “I’ll be here as long as you’ll have me, as long as you want. Even for a whole week, a month, hell- forever, let’s be crazy.”

“You’d do that?”

“Of course! Why wouldn’t I?”

“I just feel like I would be bothering you.”

“You’re not. I’m actually happy to get to stay more. It’s not bothersome at all, on the contrary. I’m happy to stay.”

I’m happy too.

“Thanks for that. I really...appreciate it.” I admitted.

“The pleasure’s mine.”

“Wow, you’re playing it ‘gentleman-like’ now?”

“I guess so. I would also say it can be because I’ve seen a bit too much of Miraculous Ladybug when I was babysitting kids. Cat Noir’s nice.”

“You know lines of Cat Noir?”

“Yeah, I picked up a few one.”

“Really? You’re gonna say them all the time now?”

“Of course, my lady.”

“I’m never gonna get used to that. It’s weird hearing you say that.”

“But it’s romantic, there’s a lot in the TV shows you watch. The characters do that too.”

“But you’re not one of the characters, you’re Spencer Reid. You’re yourself. You don’t need to throw Cat Noir lines to charm me or something. Just you...is enough.”

“You sound like ladybug...and also Marinette.”

“We’re kind of them- well- kind of, as what we deal with isn’t...close to a kid’s show, but, we save people.”

“Oh, we should-”

“No, I’m not dressing up as ladybug for halloween.”

“...can’t say I didn’t try.”

“There’s no way I’m dressing up in a suit-” I argued.

“We would have been equal, I’d be in one too.”

“I’m not doing it-”

“...guess I’ll have to come up with something else then.”

“Yeah. We have at least six months to think about it so...that’s enough for me, I guess.”

“It’s short. We’re gonna end up one week before.” He complained.

“Stop worrying about that- just get inside with me, it’s getting cold.”

“I could give you my sweater and jacket, I don’t mind.”

“Just- get inside Reid.”

“I was joking!”

“Sure you do. Do you think I’d stay outside for another hour?”

“I just thought it was because you were cold-”

“I’m gonna check if you don’t have a fever when we get up- you’re out of your mind.”

“I’m perfectly fine.”

“Nah, you’re a bit tired, from what you said.”

“I didn’t actually mean it.”

“Sure, let’s get you to bed, grandpa.”

"I'm 32-"

"So?"

"I don't see why you call me grandpa."

"You don't have the reference? The meme, you know?"

"No, I don't."

"You're disappointing, Reid."

++

“Is it going to get worse in later seasons? It’s too calm.” Spencer pointed out.

“Uh...possibly. Season one is pretty calm, not- entirely, but...okay compared to later ones. There’s a lot going on in Supernatural, and it gets pretty hard when you get attached to the characters. The writers like to hurt us.”

“They’re taking all of the pain of the fans on twitter as inspiration.”  

I snorted. “I’m really starting to wonder if it’s not the case at this point.”

“I noticed they tend to do that at the end of seasons too. They throw in a cliffhanger where you think that the character is going to die, and then, they make you wait months...just to show they had a scratch on the arm.” He explained.

“It’s true...they did that a lot of times. I’m afraid of what’s going to happen after season one though. I bet it’s only going to get worse.”

“Probably. I bet they won’t be extra nice with letting them live peacefully.”

“You…” I stopped in my sentence, yawning. “...said it. Sorry- I’m a bit tired.” I said, rubbing my eyes.

"Oh you should probably- go to bed, yeah. I'll leave the bed to you, you know."

"Why would you sleep on the couch?"

"Uh...well, uh...I don't know."

"We're sleeping in the same bed, it's not the end of the world."

"...are you uh- sure?"

"I guess. I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

“I just figured that...it’d be sort of embarrassing, or even awkward for you.”

“I don’t get why it would be, it’s okay. Plus, you deserve to sleep comfortably if you’re tired as well.”

“Okay, then.”

I paused for a bit, thinking about a detail. “...It’s probably stupid to ask, but...which side do you usually prefer? Just so that, there aren't any problems if you sleep on a specific one, you know.” 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to be taking you side or anything, as you said, if you prefer a specific...one.”

“Why did you think I asked? And, in case we prefer the same, we’ll just settle on one, that's all I can think of.”

“...it wasn’t stupid to ask though.” Spencer reassured.

“Really? I...it’s not everyday that I ask that kind of stuff, especially as this situation doesn’t happen everyday. But, at least, I can say that I’ve already done it. It’s...something.”

“Yeah, same. It’s just...I don’t know, what would you call it?”

“Half stupid, half nice? I have no idea as well.” I admitted.

“...we can just leave it there, we’ll never find it.”

“True- Are you coming, or doing a whole routine like drinking water, going to the bathroom, tidying up everything, checking mails and all of the possible stuff that you could do?”

“Do you really think I could be doing that?”

“Kind of. Wouldn’t be surprising if you were doing that. But I’d say it’s a waste of time, if it’s 10PM, you end up going at 11:30 something. The least I’d do would be...water and bathroom. But again- I won’t criticize, it’s fine with me. Just don’t make hella noise.” I detailed.

“I just...check mails...a lot, yeah. Also uh...I make sure everything is ready in case we get called in so I don’t rush; so, I do a lot of stuff. But as if it’s a calm week, I guess I can skip getting the bag ready, and probably mails as I answer them later.”

“That’s...good to know at least. Less stress before going to bed.”

“Kind of. I tend to do all of the stuff I forget all day at night, which causes me to do a lot of stuff, being afraid that they won’t be done on time, so...it’s nice to have less stress.”

“Really nice after what you said.” I pointed out. “Are you sure you’re okay though? We’re only sharing a bed, it isn’t the end of the world, if that’s the thing that bothers you.”

“No, you’re not….it isn’t- It’s not the problem. I just, never really...did it, and...I have no idea why I’m stressing over that. It’s kind of stupid as we’re just gonna sleep.”

“You’ll be out like a light in two minutes Spence, it won’t be a problem if that’s what stresses you out. Also, it kind of is...the feeling you can’t describe, and me neither. It’s like...stress, awkwardness, a mix, you know.”

“Exactly, it’s kind of that.” He agreed.

“Didn't know we were thinking the same about that. Well, I guess we’ll see. We should go before it’s too late.”

“Yeah, we...probably should.” 

“Relax up a bit. Just chill.”

“I’m perfectly relaxed.” He argued.

“No you’re not. Stop lying, I don’t even need to profile you to know. You’re like a balloon ready to explode.”

“I really don’t see what you’re talking about, y/n.” He muttered.

“Did anyone tell you that you’re very convincing? Turns out they were lying, genius.”

++

“I think I’m the one freaking out now.” I admitted, out of the blue.

“I’m not really freaking out anymore. I guess I gave all of my stress away to you.”

“It’s quite thoughtful, thanks.”

“Maybe you’re just hot, who knows. I’m fine on my side.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m not hot, it was freezing cold outside, so it is inside. I know when it’s hot and when it’s not.”

“Uh then...try to take deep breaths? I don’t know what you could do.”

Why don’t you try to be less handsome, huh?

“I think it’s the awkwardness and stress mix kicking in, as I said earlier.”

“Do you want to talk for a bit? Maybe it’ll calm you down.”

“Sure, why not.” I agreed, turning to the other side to face him.

That guy has to realize that his face is what’s distracting me.

“What did you think about today?” He asked.

“It was...really fun. Quite more than I expected I think. I guess I’d be down for other ones.”

“I can’t guarantee I’m not going to slide one or two essays in it though.”

“I’m fine with it. You know listening to you...never bothered me. I don’t think it’ll ever bore me. Who doesn’t like a few facts?”

“Even when it’s all about science or pagan rituals? The cop looked at me weirdly and even asked what kind of doctor I was. Someone else had to talk to revive the conversation.”

You bet, not everyone’s used to it.

“I do remember that one. You looked pretty...proud about it when you finished the sentence. I swear that I would have revived it first or would have kept going. I know a bit about it. What did you say to creep him out?”

“I think that...there was candle wax on the tree, and I said the usual stuff, as a matter of fact, it was used to protect the birth day celebrants from demons, and that the celebration got rejected by Christianity as a pagan ritual’. That’s when he asked.”

That totally explains.

“It wasn’t embarrassing, don’t worry. He just...wasn’t used to that. That almost happens with every new person you meet. I’m out of the ‘almost’ I guess. I was surprised, but got kind of interested.”

“Again, that was surprising. Not everyone would have reacted like you did. I know the others try not to hurt me and listen to it until it’s enough.”

“It’s distracting sometimes, you can always keep going. But not too late, 2AM essays aren’t my thing. Sleeping at 2AM is.”

Getting to sleep at 2AM doesn’t even matter anymore, I’m just glad to be able to sleep.

“I’ll try then.”

“You better.” I warned, pulling my jacket closer to my body as I felt a few chills.

His gaze hadn’t left my figure, hence, he noticed. “...you’re still cold?”

“A bit, I guess.”

“Do you uh...want to...get closer?”

“If you don’t mind, I don’t know. I don’t want it to be embarrassing.”

“It’s not, I swear. I just don’t want you to freeze, I guess.” He admitted, raising one of his arms.

“Okay, thanks.” I slowly got closer, not wanting to invade too much.

“I said you could get closer, that is barely closer than before. Come here.” He pointed out, which I responded to with a sigh as my head ended up resting against his chest. “I told you it wasn’t weird.”

“I thought it’d be for you.” I answered.

“It’s not...anymore. It’s actually fine...now that you’re here.”

“...really? You were kind of stressed about it just a bit ago.”

“Don’t remind me, it’s embarrassing again now. Do as your brain is a computer and delete the file.”

You’re the computer, I’m not.

“It’s fun when you react like that, why would I stop?”

“That’s offending.”

“You, offended? I don’t think so. You don’t sound like it, you’re acting.”

“That hurted my feelings even more, I think my heart might die because of such cruelty. You should be careful with your words, my lady.”

“You’re starting to look like Cat Noir. It’s cheesy. I didn’t hurt anyone’s feelings.”

“Maybe I am Cat Noir, who knows.”

“Guess you’re gonna have to give back your power, you’re not supposed to say it.”

That shows how many nights I’ve spent babysitting kids, especially Matt’s, they watch it way too much.

“Never said I was.”

I kind of wish you were, it’d be fun to see you in that costume.

“Spencer, you sound like him now. You’re definitely him, can’t change my mind about that.”

“I just sound like him, doesn’t mean I am.”

“I have the last word, stop.”

“Okay, I’m stopping. But you have to sleep first, I’m not sleeping until you’re asleep.”

“...bossy.” I spat.

“I’m taking care of you, I’m not bossy.”

“...what’ver.”

“Whatever, right.” Spencer repeated, hesitating for a bit before putting his lips on my forehead, softly kissing it a few times. “I totally agree with you.”

“Mhm.” I lazily said, growing a bit more tired.

“Good night, y/n.”

++

Nothing much had been planned for today; so when I had woken up, I really didn’t need to feel stressed about rushing into work as most of it would only be paperwork.

Spencer was still asleep. He had stirred up a bit when I stood up, but it didn’t wake him much. He was sleeping as a baby, even when I accidentally banged my foot against a shelf, nothing woke him up.

I exited the room with a chuckle, heading to the kitchen aisle to fill up a glass of water; sitting on the counter when I had the glass in hand.

It wasn’t really late, just about 8AM, I could still head to work around 9 or 10 as our work hours were to be chosen by us when nothing urgent was to be done; but, the limit was still about 10AM, the hour to be chosen more freely was around the end of the day.

Too bad we can’t head in somewhere in the afternoon.

I hate that work just for that.

I slightly jumped from the counter, peering over the bedroom to see Spencer still sound asleep, only his position had changed.

As I looked in the room, his sweater had been messily put on one of the chairs in the corner, almost at the edge of it.

Time to make jokes and steal a sweater. 

I slightly laughed, walking to the chair as I grabbed the sweater, heading back outside when I had the item in hand.

In a few seconds, I had put my head in the top hole, then my arms in the sleeves, arranging the sweater afterwards.

Good luck to get it back, Reid.

++

“Hey, did you-”  Spencer asks, before putting his eyes on me. “Is that my sweater, or am I having hallucinations?”

“That is your sweater, indeed. You’re not hallucinating.”

“Is it being rude to ask why you’re wearing it?”

“I don’t know, I like it.”

“And...is it possible to get it back later?”

“Not sure….no.”

“At least you were clear.” Spencer chuckled, sitting on the couch as I joined him after a minute.

“Last night was really nice. I appreciated the forehead kisses.”

“I just...felt like it would be reassuring, glad to know that. I could do it often if you’d like to. I don’t mind.”

“Every night, no matter the situation. If we leave and don’t see each other for a few hours, forehead kisses, even if we don’t sleep at the other’s place, forehead kisses- basically every time we have to separate for a bit. But- you can also do it when we’re together, so...correction, all the time.”

“Gotcha, all the time.”

“I may give you back your sweater at some point if you keep your promise.”

“I don’t actually mind, you can keep it. Just tell me when you take my clothes so I don’t think that some alien stole my clothes in the night.”

“I’ll send you a text every time I’ll be taking one. You might receive a lot though…”

“Just try to leave two or three shirts and some pants so I don’t have to go out in the street naked.”

“I will- don’t worry.” I said, laughing.

“Too bad I can’t take yours in exchange. I’m not a fan of...tops.”

“You know what? That’s not a bad idea. I’m gonna take everything in your closet and only leave pants and that top. Thanks for the idea!” I thanked, getting up from the couch as he tried to catch me when I started to run.

At least now, I can’t say that I had a bad week.

It was better than expected;

For...probably the both of us.

++

If you liked this fic, let me know here!

[thegeminisage]

it's tng update time.

we did. and you know this. because i made. i counted. 18 posts about it. "half a life." and of course: "the host" (honorific).

half a life: part of what makes the ep after this so wonderful is that THIS episode was so genuinely upsetting. it was a huge bummer. it was awful. the only fucking episode lwaxana troi has been in that cathy actually watched and she had a valid character arc. i was furious. and then we got into it and i was like. oh.

first of all, kudos to charles winchester from mash for being here. cathy caught a 4077 ref that i missed bc i wasnt paying attention. i cant believe he was gay when he did this

secondly. the fucking. ethical implications of. people who are infirm should be dead for their children's sake and for their own sake. like it's better to be dead than in a nursing home. when you're 60 time's up. parents care for their children so children should care for their parents. your aging parents are mortal and they'll die one day. your daughter wants you to kill yourself. you want to die and can't wait to kill yourself. you don't want to live and then you do want to live but you still have to kill yourself. you're 60. you're 60. YOUR DAUGHTER WANTS YOU TO KILL YOURSELF. when she is 60 your daughter WILL ALSO KILL HERSELF.

i think the most fucked up part of this was that lwaxana ruined him. she meant well, and for once i saw her point and her arguments as totally valid (i usually think she's horrible), it was like maybe the only semi-selfless thing she's ever done aside from the ferengi business we will not be discussing. but she ruined him. when he was fine with dying and he had to die, fine and whatever. when he wanted to live?? no longer fine. if he lives his people will hate him forever. his daughter will regret him living because he can't be laid to rest in the family plot. because he can't die with his friends and family surrounding him. but he's 60. people live to be well over a hundred in the star trek universe, other aliens live even longer. he's SIXTY. he's healthy. he has work to do. a planet to save. and he's gonna die knowing his work meant nothing and his planet might die and his grandson may have nowhere to grow up. live or die, he will be miserable either way, just because he was introduced to a different way of life. it's SO fucked up

i think i had more to say about this after it ended but i have clean forgotten all of it. like it's been blasted out of my memory which is probably for the best. the short version is, i am living at home taking care of my mother who turned 58 three days ago. i didn't need any of that.

but then.

But Then.

the host: what can i possibly. i mean. the sheer. the fucking

like the fucking MOOD WHIPLASH alone

i had heard of this episode years ago. so i knew beverly's bf was a parasite and he eventually jumped into a woman and i was made to believe she was super homophobic about it. i was prepared to look completely past all of this and enjoy not-quite-gay SUBTEXT. i was NOT prepared for ANY of the rest of it

to get this out of the way: as i said, though i miss wesley very much (ask catherine i say so like every episode) it's so fortunate that he was not here. i think bev finally hit menopause because her horny levels were CRITICALLY off the charts and this whole debacle would have been so awkward for him. i'm glad he sent her a letter god bless i'm so glad he's fine wherever he is

the BABY BUMP THIS GUY HAD. this i was not expecting. i didn't know we were doing pregnant men in this episode. i figured the entire episode would be about beverly being like "this is weird cuz idw fuck you now that you're a woman" i had no idea his ass would jump into RIKER

riker did amazing bg work in this ep too before he got to star. he gave beverly and her bf some KNOWING looks. at one point the following exchange was uttered: "HE knows they're fucking." "yeah he wishes it was him." apollo and the dodgeball.....

the fact that after that i literally did have the thought "yeah except he'd never fuck beverly. she's one of the few people who are off limits." lisa simpson dot jpg

and then riker's pregnancy, what can one say. beverly put a little worm in his body. i'm only sad we didn't get to see the baby bump because that would have been extremely funny

i spent the whole ep thinking no way can beverly fuck riker. they have to work together. she has to look him in the eye after this. AND THEN THEY DID.

like it's so insane. it's not even that i dislike the concept because the fallout could lead to some extremely meaty interpersonal drama except for the fact that star trek generally isn't about interpersonal drama and we didn't see riker again after he got possessed. we didn't get one word from him. the silence seems so calculated so as to avoid having to write his reaction. BUT I WANTED HIS REACTION. will he not tell us how it feels to be possessed and pregnant and FUCKING BEVERLY CRUSHER? genuinely this is the first time i've been tempted to look up tng fic. someone tell me there is fic

also, like, he only had 18 hours until he got a new body. she could have waited to fuck the new guy if she felt weird about it being riker. SHE didn't know the knew guy was gonna be a woman. like it had to be menopause

the fact that deanna condoned this, even suggested it, is INSANE. not only because she didn't consider riker's ability, or lack of ability, to consent, but because THAT'S HER BOYFRIEND. quasi-boyfriend. sometimes exes sometimes fwb. like it's NUTS.

their discussion was so wild too. like "what do i miss...his hands, his mouth...no, there was more than that" girl they were 5 more minutes away from discovering the split attraction model. actually i don't even normally like the split attraction model but this episode made me like it a little more. growth <3

actually on that subject quasi-exes are weirdly chill with each other on this show. picard and beverly are kinda dating and kinda not, the same way deanna and riker kind of are and kind of aren't. and picard is like...beverly whatever else i am to you i'm also your friend and i know this fucking sucks. do you want a hug. like that is SO chill and cool of him. and ik they probably do this bc they don't want to have to maintain character development but it winds up accidentally feeling really refreshing

anyway: The Woman

i can't believe that beverly can fuck riker, her "sort of "brother," but not this hot blonde lady. and i know it's because they can't be gay but ACTUALLY

i was SHOCKED that gender didn't come into it at all. like yes it was the elephant in the room but nowhere in beverly's dialogue did she say she couldn't do this because odan was a woman now. copypasting:

"Perhaps it is a human failing, but we are not accustomed to these kinds of changes. I can't keep up. How long will you have this host? What would the next one be? I can't live with that kind of uncertainty. Perhaps, someday, our ability to love won't be so limited."

NONE OF THAT MENTIONS GENDER. none!!! the only part that could be interpreted as a gender thing was when beverly said bring HIM in, and was smiling bc she was about to meet the new version of her bf, only for her smile to drop when she encountered a woman. you could sort of read it as "a woman will be even weirder than riker and i just don't have it in me to go through that acclimation process again" BUT LIKE. like she's CHOOSING not to. not that she couldn't eventually adjust. to a woman. beverly just found out she's bisexual fr

like the wrist kiss was SO SENSUAL. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK. i can't believe they let two women do that on tv in 1991. holy shit. AND!!! they said i love you to each other. i did quite literally stand up out of my seat. it feels very progressive considering when it was written

and like it's a shame this was in the same episode where riker gets knocked up bc that distracted from the entire gay thing. i WISH the whole episode had been odan in a woman's body and riker had had his own episode to do all of that in later. like it would've been incredible. sexuality is fluid <3

anyway. wow. next time: "the mind's eye" and "in theory," two episodes i already feel sorry for because they will Never live up to all of that.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

As you can see, I’m ALREADY pepped for

✨Kauri with sick jake✨

So don’t worry about that

Honestly, this is for @eatyourdamnpears and everyone else encouraging my silly whims

CW: Description of migraine visual aura, migraine, sick whumpee, some consensual spice refs/flirting at the end

It starts as a dot in the center of his vision, a bit of gray he can’t quite see around. Jake frowns, closes one eye and then the other, but it’s there in both of them when he tries to look at the clock on the oven. He checks his text messages and there it is, little gray dot, making it... not impossible, but difficult to read the message.

“What are you doing?” Kauri asks the question from the doorway, standing with his shoulder leaning on the frame and his arms crossed in front of himself, wearing nothing but one of Jake’s shirts, hanging off his frame in a way that somehow makes him seem more graceful, not less. 

“Go get pants on before Ant comes down and blacks out from blushing so hard,” Jake says, voice still upbeat, but... is the spot getting bigger?

He picks up his phone and types in ‘signs of seizure’ into Google. 

Nope.

‘Sudden changes in vision.’

Oh, well, the potential answers to that one are definitely fucking terrifying.

How about... ‘gray dot in center of eye’.

“What the fuck is retinal detachment?” Jake mumbles, squinting. The dot is definitely getting bigger, and it’s in both eyes, not just one. So... not retinal detachment, unless his eyes both did it simultaneously, which seems impossible, but...

Google seems very convinced he might be dying. That is not comforting him at all as he tries to read around the spot.

“Jake?” Kauri pads across the kitchen tile on bare feet, and his hand presses cool to Jake’s bare back, long fingers against his spine. “What’s up?”

“I’m having a weird-... a thing in my eye... or my eyes?” Jake leans slightly back into Kauri’s touch. He hasn’t stopped being grateful for Kauri’s presence, and so deeply aware of it. It feels fragile, whatever is happening now, even though Kauri has always been made of steel underneath his insistence that he was nothing but tissue.

“What kind of weird thing?” Kauri moves around him, to lean his back against the counter next to the stove, head tilted to look up at Jake.

Jake looks down at him, tousled black curls and the way his face has changed with time, cheekbones and jawline more prominent, but his eyes have never been anything but the widest, brightest blue, and he can see Kauri through the arc that the gray dot is forming in his vision as it expands.

“I can’t-... I keep seeing gray,” He confesses, shaking his head - and he feels pressure there, a sense of something just... sitting behind his eyes, over his eyebrows. Like the weight of a small animal is there, and getting heavier. “Just, like, a dot, but it’s getting... bigger. And... like, breaking up?”

He tries to look at Kauri again, and the dot is a half-circle now. There’s a flash in the rounded curve of it, and then another. Then a third, but this one is colors, and there are small rainbows flashing lights along the arch as it grows. 

“Am I-... is this a fucking seizure? Or a, a brain tumor? Or...”

Kauri, to Jake’s shock, laughs. “Oh! No, Jake. No, that sounds like - you said it’s getting bigger?” He reaches up, going up on his toes as Jake leans down, and presses his cool hand against the side of Jake’s face. “Is it, like, turning into a circle? Do you see lights?”

“Um... yeah. Yeah, like, like a fucking rainbow strobe light on the right side.” Jake closes his eyes, and the pressure is getting worse. 

“Jake.” Kauri’s voice is soft. “You’ve got a migraine. Or you’re about to have one. When did you last sleep through the night? Or, like, at all?”

Jake snorts. “You’re one to talk.” 

“Answer the question, you.” Kauri pokes him in the side, with gentle affection, and Jake wishes he could focus on his face around the widening, flashing arch at the right side of his vision. At least it’s sort of framing Kauri, now, and Jake wonders at Kauri just... here.

No backpack by the door next to his shoes, ready to run. The backpack is in Jake’s room, and it’s empty. Kauri’s fucking... pet Roomba Keira is in her place of honor in the living room by the Christmas tree. One of the new rescues is convinced they can fix her broken wheel even though it’s been actual years since Keira could roll around on her own. 

For her part, Keira informed Kauri in that... unsettling metallic female voice that her visual sensors were enjoying the shifting colors of the Christmas lights and that she didn’t mind playing a sort of living Wikipedia for the rescues - all former Romantics - learning about a world they were forced to forget.

Keira reported to Jake that the most common question she received was some variation on how many pets run away, and how many go back?

 The numbers are getting bigger - and the amount that end up back in WRU custody or with their former owners is going down.  That alone drives Jake to keep working, harder than ever, to give as many as he can somewhere safe to land.

“I don’t know. Chris is here for Christmas break, we have new rescues, there’s-... just been a lot going on, and-” He sighs as Kauri’s hand moves up, thumb rubbing soft little circles just above his eyebrow, and the pressure building behind his eyes seems to lessen, just a little, at the touch.

“So the answer is that you’re stressed and not sleeping. So this is definitely a migraine. Is it still getting bigger?”

Jake opens his eyes and looks down at Kauri’s face, giving a slight smile. “Uh, yeah. It’s... almost all off to the right, now. You’re pretty with a rainbow around you.”

“Well I’m gay as hell, so I should hope I look good in rainbows,” Kauri says, smiling with his nose scrunched up the way he does when he’s not being self-conscious about it, and then he takes Jake by the hand, pulling him back across the kitchen. “Come on, you. Time to lay down.”

“Kaur, the rescues will wake up any second now-”

“Antoni can feed them as well as you can - way better, honestly. He can just reheat those little pocket things with the cheese in them.”

“... Hot Pockets? I don’t think-”

“No, the thingies. The, um. The pirouettes?”

“Piroshkis?”

“Sure, that sounds right, too.”

“Well, pirouette is a ballet term-”

“Jake. Not important. Let’s just be happy I remember anything at all. Come on.”

Jake doesn’t feel like he follows Kauri so much as, like always, Kauri is a planet on its own orbit that Jake is drawn to, has always been drawn to, long before he could have had a moment with him like this. “But Chris-”

“Chris is twenty-three years old,” Kauri points out. “More or less. He can take care of himself, and right now you need someone to take care of you. And trust me, I have a lot of experience with migraines - and so does he.”

The rainbow flashes are fading out, moving so far to the side of his vision that they are effectively gone, but the pressure is still building and Jake squints against the way the first hints of sunlight hurts, a little, to see coming through the windows. “You do?”

“Of course I do.” Kauri’s legs are pale where they show under the hem of the big shirt he wears, and Jake swallows against the way something in him stirs at the sight, but that bit of pain that had come with seeing the sun isn’t leaving. It’s getting worse. “When I stopped blacking out, I started getting headaches, migraines, lasted for days. Fucking hated it. I used to get them in training a lot, too.”

“You did?”

“Mmhmm.” Kauri pauses, briefly, at the top of the stairs. “When I relearned how to read, and when I looked at myself again, they came back. But I had to keep trying, anyway.” He glances over at Jake and gives him a slight smile. “All that time I spent trying to figure out what you were seeing when you looked at me. Migraines come with the territory.”

“Why don’t I know that you were getting headaches?”

“Because I didn’t tell you about them. We’re, um. We’re good at ignoring pain.” Kauri smiles, still, but there’s something a little more brittle in it now. “Chris got them, too, learning to read. And... probably before. But everything-... hurts so much, in training. You get used to doing everything with the pain instead of waiting until it’s over. You don’t have a choice. There we go, I’ve distracted you with a sob story long enough to get you back to your room.” Kauri helps Jake inside, closing the door, and Jake sighs in relief as the room is beautifully, perfectly dark. 

“Our room,” He says, and his head is starting to really hurt, now. “I don’t have time to lie down, Kaur.”

“You sure as fuck do,” Kauri says cheerfully, getting him back to the bed, hands running over Jake’s shoulders, back, and sides as he lays down on his stomach, groaning. Kauri presses a little, here and there, gnawing on his lower lip. “You’ve got some serious fucking stress in your back, Jake.”

“When do I not?” Jake asks, muffled by shoving his face into a pillow.

“... good point. I’m going to get you something for your headache and tell Antoni he’s in charge today. You... don’t move. Or I’ll be very unhappy with you.” Kauri’s voice teases, effortlessly flirty, just a little with the graze of his fingertips before he pulls away. 

He’s gone, for just a few minutes, and Jake’s headache seems to worsen by the second, moving from the first hints of pressure to a full-on pounding pain. He doesn’t dare pull his head up, afraid even the slightest sliver of light will be too much. His stomach twists and turns, too, and Jake’s glad he got up here before he ate anything. 

That Kauri got him up here.

Kauri reappears with two pills, a glass of water, and a surprisingly bright smile on his face. “Well, I’ve embarrassed Antoni by stretching and forgetting I’m not wearing any pants, so... good thing I look good naked. Here, take this.”

Jake swallows down the pills and drinks the water until it’s gone, then hides his face back in the pillow. “What’re you gonna do?”

“Stay right here, dumbass,” Kauri says, softly, and he crawls up into the bed, lying down on his side next to Jake. Jake can feel the soft brush of his hair before he leans in and kisses Jake’s neck. “Stay right here with you. That’s my plan for the day.”

“I’m gonna be real boring,” Jake mumbles into the pillow. 

Kauri’s voice is low, situated just above a whisper but below the threshold that would make Jake’s head pound any harder. “I spent years alone with a talking Roomba and some plants on a balcony. Boring doesn’t bother me. I’d rather sit in this bedroom in the dark with you being a big whiny baby than be anywhere else.”

“... ‘m not whiny.”

“He said, whinily,” Kauri teased, and snuggled up next to him. Somehow he’d taken his shirt off and Jake slid one arm over the warm skin of his back, pulling him close. “Hey now-”

“Isn’t sex a pain reliever?” Jake asks, eyes still closed, nuzzling into Kauri’s neck, the warm smell of his skin, with the faintest hint of Jake’s own cologne. Something about having known Kauri to never smell like the same cologne twice for so long, and to know now he only ever smelled like Jake... 

“Not for migraines. Wait til your head feels better, dumbass.”

“Thought you liked my ass,” Jake murmurs, kissing just under Kauri’s ear, a spot he knows Kauri likes, a spot Kauri didn’t know he liked, because nobody ever bothered to explore Kauri the way he deserves. His hand slid down and between Kauri’s legs-

And then he winces and turns his head back to the pillow. “Ow. Okay, I can’t right now.”

“Told you so,” Kauri says, moving Jake’s hand back over his waist. “No sex until you feel better, Doctor Kauri’s orders.”

Jake pauses, and says softly, “I must be the only guy on earth who fucking loves hearing you say ‘no.’”

Kauri pauses, and then kisses Jake’s hair, the top of his head, and slides back into his embrace, the warmth that came with lying together under the blankets together. 

“Yeah, maybe. But I like that you want to hear it.”

“Always. Whenever you need to say it. I love you, Kaur.”

Jake thinks he hears the faintest hint of hidden tears in Kauri’s voice when he answers, “Love you, too.” 

---

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