#hi the bad dude from tenet

[oscat-iscat]

me watching oppenheimer as i treat it like a smash or pass because bro the casts

[gerrydelano]

Hi i would. Looove to hear about this fantasy au (bonus points for gerrys fucked up origins thanks for the food)

scrambles to sit up and falls out of my desk chair in the process. Bless You, Anon. Bless You. i will limit this to the first side quest because even that is long as fuck but it Is gerry centric which means it's food for Me.

okay So. the key tenets here are:

tim is the pov character

the stokers knew sasha and martin as kids until martin moved away with his dad after his mom's passing (wild!)

danny was taken by the fey at like 18. BAD.

after two years of training and study, tim and sasha are about to set off to find him or get revenge (it's a death wish) just as martin swaggers back into town a new man (he spent a decent chunk of his money on glamors that are tantamount to HRT while traveling back to their hometown after he super left his shitty dad's house) and he elects to come with them because It's A Death Wish and he doesn't want tim to get into trouble, and also he has like... nowhere to go anyway. might as well keep adventuring, but this time with friends.

they go to a coastal city to ask adelard dekker for some advice, and he sends his apprentice along with them. hi jon!

and then once they're on their adventure........ we meet a mysterious figure.

they do a lot of little bounty hunts and side quests for money and whatever obviously and so at one point they get enlisted to find some heirloom for some guy and right as they're about to get it, oops! insert Guy In A Featureless Silver Mask Riding On A Black Dire Wolf, Who Then Swoops In And Takes The Heirloom First.

What.

they hate this guy. they can't stand this guy. they wanna beat this guy up for doing that. he was so scary though so what do you even do. they ask around town and find out he's The Black Rider™ and he has a habit of doing this shit and they should stay out of his way.

they find melanie in a tavern and jon recognizes her from their childhoods because surprise! THEY grew up together. and she's been Away for a while after she ran away with josephine, her first love, who ended up dying about a year later. she's been too ashamed to return home alone. she is begrudging about reconnecting with jon, but she does end up hugging him and crying about this. i love them. bad weather friends.

she joins their party in time to run into the Black Rider again, who once more is trying to get something before they get it.

this time they get some awkward banter out of him though so they figure there is some kind of person under there.

and the Third time they encounter him, tim tries to cut to the chase and offer an olive branch of friendship, only for the black rider to attack them with his big scary halberd and it's like DUDE! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

the fight is pretty intense but they do outnumber him, so tim gets him on the ground with his sword under his chin and he can feel the dog breathing down his neck but she isn't biting - because the black rider has held up a hand to stop her.

tense! and kinda sexy.

they agree to lower the weapon/call off the dog on the count of three from sasha, but tim hesitates longer than the black rider does. intriguing.

he leaves and they realize he still took the bounty they were after. G-d DAMMIT!!!!

then a few weeks later they meet some guy named gerry in a dungeon and he helps them fight off some zombies or whatever and they vibe for a few days, he seems nice if not a little weird, and they get along well. he dips after a bit and it's just a standard interaction pretty much. neither here nor there.

then they're fighting a cockatrice at some point and the Black Rider comes in to help them! odd, but accepted.

oops! his mask gets knocked off.

martin, being the nice guy he is, goes to return it to him and sees his face - gasp! it's gerry! who EVER could have guessed!

after they defeat the cockatrice they really have to have a whole ass conversation about this because Seriously Dude What The Fuck.

he ends up talking to them a little bit but not much, he's cagey and now seems kind of... nervous? what gives, right.

after a bit though they offer to let him come with them because tim is like "oh my g-d. you're LONELY 😆"

and he'd be right.

but there's a lot more to it than that.

eventually he caves and tells them, "we're being watched." by who? his patron, he says, after taking his time deciding on the wording.

he's never told anyone this before. he didn't even know she couldn't Hear him too, only just found that out.

then after a little while he fucks off for a bit without an explanation, and they're like. wtf.

when he comes back to find them, he explains that he nearly stabbed tim in his sleep one day because he's not only being spied upon, but his body is able to be controlled by his patron.

they are understandably upset about this and have to put in some protective measures to prevent that from happening again. he's no longer allowed on night watch.

but he's clearly distraught with guilt and like... they can SEE the humanity in him, they can SEE that he hates this and he needs help.

martin is a Redemption paladin by now and he wants to help him really badly.

tim needs... some time.

jon suggests they put a blindfold on him now and then to help him feel more at ease talking about things without fear of being spied on and it helps sometimes.

they travel for like 9 months before gerry trusts tim enough to show him what's really going on, while they're bathing in a lake after a battle that left them covered in blood.

he moves his hair aside to show tim a sigil branded on his back.

mary did that to him when he was 12.

so, basically, this guy hasn't had a shred of bodily autonomy or privacy in half his life. it's disgusting honestly like literally if you think for two seconds about the logistics of this it just gets more and more upsetting. bad!!!!

so they've already wanted to break his curse but it's just. tim can't stand this knowledge. he still doesn't know it's his mother yet, though. that stays on lock.

the group goes on to meet with mikaele salesa for some help, and gerry refuses to go anywhere near him. fucks off again with no explanation.

but they take the opportunity to ask salesa if he knows anything about the black rider etc and he says BOY DO I KNOW HIM. HE'S WHY I HAVE SO MUCH PROTECTION AROUND MY HOUSE LOL.

gerry has stolen so much from him and killed some of his guys and it's like YIKES. but salesa Also knows about mary.

she's been collecting super powerful artifacts for ages now trying to give herself more power so she can become a lich. uh oh!

and tim, who has made a Paladin Oath with Death by now, is now assigned by HIS patron to go and kill her before her transformation takes place, because she would be defying the natural order.

so, they go find her scary tower and are intent on fighting her, only to find - gerry?

and boy does he look rough. he looks Bad right now he hasn't been having a good time while he's been gone.

mary is in the middle of her ritual and she halves her focus in order to control gerry into fighting for her and eventually the fight is looking bad enough that she switches tactics.

she has him point the knife at his own throat.

because she did spy a little bit of the tiny intimate moments between gerry and tim, try as gerry might have to keep his eyes averted or up at the sky or just anywhere But tim, and she knows the group has come to care about him. so, clearly this is a better threat.

sasha calls her bluff BIGTIME and says hell no are you gonna kill him, you put too much work into him, he's your only heir, you need him, you'd never go that far, blablabla.

and that much is actually true. but it looks pretty close when she actually has him break skin a little bit.

tim is very upset at sasha for potentially making it worse lol But

it does work

they manage to kill her and free gerry and it's a very complicated moment because like... dude that's his mom. she's all he's ever known, save the wolf she "got" for him when he was a kid that is now his closest companion, and the dryad who guards the forest outside (hi tazia!)

so it takes gerry and tim a while to like. recover from that. but they do.

meanwhile, before they leave mary's tower, they totally pilfer her magical objects and jon finds a peculiar glass orb... that looks like it's got spider webbing inside it.

and that's all i'll say for now! obviously this is the Side Quest i am most invested in, but the plot of this filled 15 pages of a timeline and it goes on until gerrytim die in their 70s lmao so like. Big Big AU. it takes like 5 years after this all happens to find danny and That is a huge mess, too. boy howdy!!!!

now i realize i can't surprise anyone with this plot if i did write it but like. chances of that are slim. this is still so niche. jdhdjdhfk. gtcu brand classes, not canon based at all.

[invinciblerodent]

For you oc is problematic game

Arvid (because I'm curious)

And Ray (because I'm a pot-stirrer on occasion 🤭)

Your fave is problematic: OC edition

Thank you, this was a lot of fun! :) Enjoy this pair of problematic men in their fifties <3

Your fave is problematic: Arvid Trygg 🐧

Has intimidation proficiency, but is too much of a softie to ever use it, which is honestly just egregiously wasteful of him. (We failed so many rolls. We got into so many fights because of him.)

Self-medicates his very obvious anxiety disorder with a big ol’ heaping dose of denial, and later his clear PTSD with toxic codependency. His husband reports getting up to 17 magical “are u okay” pings a day, and he may say he doesn’t mind (pings right back, sends like 15 of his own anyway), but, like, Jesus fuck, dude. Not only is he a teacher, it’s also Waterdeep. Whatever even happens in Waterdeep, ever.

Didn’t disclose his nonexistent sexual history, or communicate effectively about expectations before having mind-melding astral sex on what was essentially the first date :( (defining the term “virgin slut” quite inaccurately, but efficiently) (no really, he was, by some certain definitions of the word, kind of a 50-year-old virgin before Gale, and didn't even tell him :/)

tbh also they got married only after like, idk, a few months of dating while in the throes of mortal peril. that's not good rep at all, they shouldn't endorse that.

Also didn't tell anyone, not even his boyfriend, that he's half-duergar. And yeah, maybe they didn't ask, but like, that's still a lie. :/

Litterer!! By which I mean he left the Crown of Karsus on the bottom of the fucking Chionthar, potentially ruining the delicate magical ecosystem down there, and MAYBE even leaving room for the rise of some…. diseased, city-dwelling fish-god. Or crab-god. What the fuck even lives in the Chionthar? Nothing at this point, probably, because the dang water is full of Netherese magic now!!! :CCC

Consumes smutty literature :/// we see your dog-eared copy of A Pleasurable Deal in the bottom of your pack, boy, you ain’t slick, and it’s frankly SICKENING that you’d endorse such smut. (and let’s not even talk about the REST of his collection of stolen!!!!!!!, smutty books. Man, for a Man of the Cloth he sure does consume a LOT of bad erotica.) [I, uh… like to pick something for my characters to collect in rpgs, for him it was the romance novels.]

Speaking of, he endorses organized religion??? Sure, that religion may be the one in which he was raised and is organized around the central tenet of “pick your battles- but fucking pick them”, but still, he’s a priest, and we ALL KNOW that clerics are, without exception, fantasy!catholics, which means that they are insufferable sticks-in-the-mud, and bad.

And even so, he’s double-dipping gods??? Like, for someone who claims to be a Tempuran, he does seem to enjoy the buff from Loviatar, and all that free healing from Silvanus and Selune, yknow? So he’s like, technically cheating on his god, which is also bad. :////

And like, why discriminate against Sharrans, you know. :/ It’s not their fault that their Dark Goddess’ ultimate doctrine is to envelop the world in pure nihilism, so like, convincing his best friend to renounce her goddess was, like, super manipulative. (Yeah, even if it turned out well for her.) (And then he didn't even hug her???? What, because "it was added in a later update"???? Get out of here, that's no excuse. Your programming shouldn't prevent you from doing the right thing. :/)

Gave the gith egg to the Society of Brilliance :/// and sure, he may CLAIM that it was because the rest of the créche turned on them and nobody would have been there to take care of it if it had hatched (and the Shadow-cursed lands really didn’t seem like the best place for a child either), but that’s not an excuse!!!! It still turned out bad, and it was a mistake in retrospect, which he SHOULD HAVE BEEN aware of, and therefore he is problematic.

Oh, also, he like... rejected everyone in camp at least once, which is, like, toxic as hell of him. Way to lead everyone on, man. :/ He should've had the good sense to NOT chop wood in his shirtsleeves. He should've known all his friends are horny bisexuals, he should've kept those thick biceps and that lush carpet of chest hair covered. :/

Your fave is problematic: Raymond Trevelyan 🐴

oh god so many reasons where do i even fucking begin

bourgeois scum. born a wealthy noble. abolish nobility and guillotine his ass. >:(

His romantic life has been a mess since the moment learned what his dick is for, and he consequently also stopped being able to keep it in his pants (slut :///)

Started out dating the son of his father’s blacksmith (the power imbalance! the secrecy! so toxic!!!! the guy was even a MINOR!!!!) (so was he) (they were both 17) (no that doesn’t MATTER right now), then he was engaged to a woman (without disclosing that he’s gay :/), then married a NECROMANCER (unethical, slightly better because it's recycling :///) who was both his technically-subordinate AND like 7 years older than him (sketchy :////), and NOW, after 20+ happy years of marriage and like 3 years widowed, he’s going to be dating a guy who is young enough to be his son??? :///// frankly gross ://// not good gay rep at all ://////

And, like, it's very likely that he's going to become illithid too, so he like, doesn't even give his super-young boyfriend the happy ending he promised. :/ And breaking promises is, like, so problematic.

He freed a dragon that was living in captivity one time, which i’m sure ruined the native ecosystem, introducing a large, invasive predator willy-nilly like that :/

And speaking of, there’s got to have been catastrophic levels of ecological fallout to all his dragon-murdering, now that I think about that. Destroying native megafauna like that definitely caused the overpopulation of all the dragons’ prey animals, and then you can just WATCH the vegetation suffer. (Have there been fewer forest fires? Maybe! But at what price!!!!!!)

His judgment of war criminals seems dependent on whether they were nice to him, because if you dig into it, he’s pardoned one and executed another, and it honestly really just came down to one being his friend :/

Also he's said discriminatory things about mages :/// and yeah, maybe it was him echoing the kind of views everyone in his homeland held unironically and he may have ended up a staunch supporter of mage rights and married to a mage, but, like, he should have known better from the very start. :/

Used a hand he honestly believed to have been marked by the mark of the divine prophetess to jerk off that one time :/

Actually he did also unironically believe himself to have been chosen by a god, and when he realized that wasn’t the case, he still didn’t use his platform to publicly apologize :/

Used influence to change the outcome of an election, is the sole reason the Thedosian pope is all WOKE now :/

accidentally aided the rise to power of a megalomaniacal trickster-god who seeks to destroy the world as we know it :/

and let's not forget that he's not even forklift-certified. doesn't matter that there aren't any in Faerun/Thedas, it still counts.

................ Oh, and technically they're both, like, mass murderers??? In some way??? So. That's gotta add to the pile. But honestly, in the context of everything else, that's like, a minor thing.

Point is, they both suck and nobody should like them. ://///

[kafkaoftherubble]

聊237有些群众的反应 // On some of the comments re: CH237

This post touches on Jujutsu Kaisen Chapter 237. It also touches on Buddhist philosophy and ideas.

Right. So seeing strawman arguments popping up since CH236 is to be expected.

There's one that pissed me off from the "My Country Mangaka, Right or Wrong" crowd, though. This one:

---

Now. This is the sort of post I actually like reading, even if our opinions differ. I like seeing other people's interpretations of a work. I love meta, especially because it appeals to my compulsively analytical brain.

But one still gotta be aware that they are applying a very specific reading to excuse Gege's execution, right?

One still gotta be aware that this doesn't excuse nor explain glaring storytelling issues, right?

All of that paragraph merely justifies the need to have Gojo out of jujutsu society, which honestly? Most of us already agreed, mai brutha.

I personally predicted Gojo would be out because of his Buddha allegory—if he's enlightened, then he should be the last 6 Eyes user. "This is the last birth; there will be no more re-becoming."

Whether that means the only way for him to go out is death... that's already grounds for reasonable debate. I mean, if Yuki's dream of removing everyone's curse energy comes true, Satoru will still be the last 6 Eyes user. And he'll also get to be just Ken Gojo-Satoru-the Not-Weak-Not-Strong-Mortal-Dude. Hell, it even ties shits up in a neat thematic bow while cementing Yuki's (well-deserved) importance in the story.

Last but not least: "samsara" does NOT mean fate. Gosh, maybe the person who posted this was trying to explain it in ways they believed the "Western audience" would understand, but... that's a tad patronizing, don't you think?

Samsara does not mean fate. Buddhism itself is opposed to fatalism, as seen in its opposition to the Ājīvika school (which is one of the six Śramaṇa schools Buddhists debated way back then). Instead, Buddhists believe in causal determinism.

Ironically, the dude's explanation of "kaisen" as "cyclic" is itself a good proxy for the meaning of samsara. Samsara means "cycles of existence", and it's got nothing to do with fate. Nope, "karma" does not mean fate either. It doesn't even constitute fate in a Buddhist's conception (karma means "action").

---

But this person has more takes, man. When met with a cheeky response saying they are "Gege's alt account", they have this to say:

Here's the part that starts to piss me off.

Do I think Jujutsu Kaisen has a lot of Buddhist motifs, philosophy, religious ideas, etc. baked into its backbone, to the point that some of them fly over non-Buddhists' heads? Yes.

Sure, I'm also not someone who studies Buddhist philosophy for my major (my major was my darling cognitive science). I simply read up on them for no reason beyond curiosity and intrigue. And agreement, sure. I agree with many of its tenets. Ya know, like when people agree with absurdism and Kantian ethics and stoicism and whatnot. It's actually why I'd die on the hill of Satoru being self-less. I simply think the concept of anatta flew over a large group of JJK enjoyers' heads, and that's fine. Those who get it explain them to those who don't. No big deal. Someday I'll talk about anatta and sunyata as concepts exemplified by Satoru, too.

Do I think there are Japanese cultural ideas flying over non-Japanese's heads? Yes, that's likely to be true.

I'm not Japanese. I'm just some person growing up in a Chinese-dominant family in a multicultural Southeast Asian society. Even then I'm quite sure I miss out on a lot of implied Japanese cultural phenomena when I consume their stories.

But how does any of that even translate to justifying shitty execution in this story, including Gojo's death? Are you saying Japanese people will lap this up because, to them, this is "not bad storytelling" but "a Japanese cultural thing lost in translation"?

Are you serious?

And what the hell is with that strawman of "Western audience"? "Killing Gojo is heresy because something something Gojo is God something perfect unkillable flawless"?

Yo, who the hell actually believes Gojo is "god"? All I see are people connecting Gojo with the Buddha himself, which is a legitimate connection anyway. I'm sure those who genuinely see Gojo as a god-in-flesh are a minority who probably, I don't know, take the story sideway to some hardcore fanon territory.

Most of us are not arguing against taking Gojo out because "the audience only knows Judeo-Christian ideas so this is heresy." Most of us are just arguing that the story hasn't been written well lately. Most of us are just pointing out Gege's lackluster-to-subpar execution and other storytelling issues.

Also, if we are supposed to argue this through the this-is-way-too-Buddhist-for-yall defense, then I would have loved it if this person pointed out what this "singularity" concept in Buddhism itself is.

Because as far as I know, there is no such thing as a constant in Buddhist philosophy. One of the Three Marks of Existence is deadass "Anicca" (impermanence). The point is "nothing is constant /permanent. Permanence is an illusion." The cycle of samsara itself changes constantly.

So how does Satoru being "a singularity" actually make sense in an argument hinging on Buddhist ideas?

Also, for someone who rags on others for missing out on Buddhist ideas, dude also made the mistake of taking Satoru's lack of reaction and remorse to Riko's death as "a trait of his sociopathy" much like one not familiar with Buddhism might.

No. It doesn't show sociopathy. Just as "rising above the cycle of hating your enemies" ain't some strange "juxtaposition" to Satoru's sociopathy either. These two traits are from the same source.

What that alludes to, sir/ma'am/dude, is simply "Upekkhā", or equanimity.

Believe it or not, even Buddhists are cautioned against mistaking "equanimity" with "apathy". Apathy is a "near enemy" in the sense that it superficially represents equanimity when it is not; the latter is related to "non-attachment" and "renunciation".

Apathy, meanwhile, occurs when one does not possess Right View.

This is what I meant when I said, yes, sometimes non-Buddhists may miss out or misunderstand. Hell, my best friend was raised in a very ardent East Asian/Chinese/Pure Land Buddhist family, and yet when I talked to her about equanimity, she thought it was the trait of a sociopath too. Really, 'tis not a crime to not get these things.

It is really irritating though if you actually act like what you say is end-all-be-all, okay?

Satoru didn't express anything when Riko died because it already happened—and there was no use being fixated on what had happened. This was fresh off his Awakening period, too, so Satoru was still in that weird state of jhāna or something, I don't know (Gege makes me doubt myself now). He's in an equanimity state, and therefore "hates no one". That's really it.

---

Gosh, the fact that I'm actually quite passionate about debunking this Redditor's statement is surprising. Honestly I never even thought I'd ramble at length about JJK at all, because it's such a large fandom with so many galaxy brains who outclass me by lightyears!

I think I'm just irate when someone touches on something I know, and expresses this weird "I know Japanese. Do you?" superiority while straw-manning anyone who disagrees with them. Like man? Respectfully, fuck off.

Another Redditor did reply to them though:

FOR REAL, SOFT_PAY5834! GET 'EM!

...Anyway, this person's reply to Soft_Pay5834 deadass mixes some Japanese in their reply, because I suppose showing off you can write Japanese or something is a legit reinforcement to your arguments now. Wow. I'm really trying hard not to call them a "w_ _ a b _ _".

So yea. Can some people please stop straw-manning any critic as Gojo dick-riders already? Or use any other strawman, for that matter? Thanks.

---

Thank you for reading my ramble. I know, it's a bit dense with a lot of links.... Hyah?

[toxictoad]

Okay so as promised (By me, to me) I am writing about Deimos!

He's by far my favorite Durge and the first essay length bit of this is JUST for Act 1. Acts 2 and 3 will be in reblogs at some point

Also who knows I might make a post about his days in the dead three at some point (Read; probably soon because this boy has rotted my brain from the inside out).

You know the drill by now. ADHD ramble under the cut.

Deimos wakes up on the Nautiloid with a specific set of items on him. I don't feel like opening a save just to look at the starting inventory, but the thing that matters here is the book Paladin Oaths and Their Tenets;

(Interesting thing- This book is nowhere on the wiki. I would put it on there myself but I don't understand how wiki editing really works)

This book, I kid you not, is the most important part of roleplaying Deimos for me. He wakes up with no memories, head pounding, covered in blood, but he has tenets, and he WILL follow them (He's Oath of Devotion btw).

In addition to the text of the book, I headcanon that there are little notes in the margins of the pages- doodles and little jokes. Just stuff you would do if you were bored and had an old book on you.

Waking up on the beach, his immediate priority isn't necessarily survival or taking in his surroundings, it's his fucked up brain. I think a lot of people downplay how goddamn TERRIFYING it is to not have any memories. Like I've had days where I was sick and couldn't remember anything, and it was genuinely distressing, and this is like... 100 times worse than that.

So he panics, a little, and goes through all the items on his person. He has armor and a Warhammer, and... this book. He reads through it, and his thought is "Okay, I'm a paladin. That's something" And he finds a symbol of Ilmater drawn in the book and goes "Okay, that's my god probably. So I know two (2) things about myself! Awesome"

Thing is; Deimos is an amnesiac with 8 intelligence. He can kind of guess what Ilmater's followers believe, but the specifics are lost on him. The result is the funniest paladin to ever paladin.

Just imagine you're like... Shadowheart. This dude saves you from a Mindflayer pod. He seems nice enough when he's not complaining about a headache, and he's a competent fighter. You ask him who his god is and he's like "Uh... Ilmater, I guess." And you're like "...Okay" because you're a secret Shar worshipper so you kind of get being weird about deities, but Ilmater is a very acceptable god to follow and you're pretty sure he's not lying, but then why is he being weird about it. This guy is extremely devoted to his tenets but he's not even 100% sure what they are. He makes every moral decision based off of a book in his pocket and a general idea of what paladins/Ilmater devotees are like that may or may not be accurate. He doesn't even know how to pray, but he's pretty sure he's supposed to do it. The only thing he seems 100% sure about is his name, but at this point, you wouldn't be surprised if he got it off of a roadsign somewhere.

He's so fucking weird.

Deimos is incredibly freaked out by the urges, because obviously. After Shadowheart the first person he finds is Gale, and their first meeting is wonderfully awkward because Gale is being himself and Deimos is distracted by the fact that he really wanted to chop off this guy's hand like 15 seconds ago.

And then... Astarion.

Look, Durgestarion is canon in my heart and you have to deal with it now.

Deimos is incredibly easy to manipulate but in the weirdest way possible. Basically, if you can convince him that doing something is morally sound, or even just morally neutral but you really want him to do it? He'll just fucking do it. The Gur scene was the first real test of this:

Astarion: Hey this guy sucks Deimos: No he doesn't be cool What's his face: I'm hunting a vampire spawn named Astarion Deimos (Internally): Hm... Astarion is Good... and hunting good people is bad... So hunting Astarion is bad... Astarion: Please can I kill him? Deimos: Yeah okay

(Note; Deimos' definition of a "Good person" is a person he likes and who hasn't done anything morally bankrupt in his line of sight. Astarion encourages him to do bad things but so does his brain so he just doesn't listen to either of them)

However; The Urges. My way of thinking is that instead of doing horrible violence and mutilation and cannibalism whenever the option presents itself he just does something funny and kind of rude (This is the only reason he has high approval with Astarion. Astarion is constantly getting him to do weird confusing shit for his own amusement. Baa-ing at the redcaps in the swamp? 100% Astarion's influence. Threatening a magic mirror? 60% Astarion's influence and 40% because Deimos is a little bit of a himbo and doesn't like it when things try to test his intelligence. He is not a riddle person).

I cannot stress enough how weird this man appears to everyone who meets him. Friend or foe everyone around who talks to him for more than five minutes is hit with confusion. He rolls up to the scene with Kagha and Arabella and ignores the Dark Urge, only to immediately go "Hey I'm a paladin I can cast judgment on things" (A thing he is not sure that paladins actually do but he says it with confidence) and instead of making any moral arguments he's just like "I don't fuck with you snake lady let the kid go." He has high charisma but only uses it for persuasion. Ragzlin is like "The squid man showed me ur face time to die" and he just goes "No, lol." Withers wakes up to the literal chosen of Bhaal in Ilmateri getup and asks what the value of a life is and he says "Idk it's based on vibes." Astarion convinces him that the extra supplies that keep appearing in camp are a result of his charm and that he's totally not stealing from traders and Deimos goes "Yes that makes perfect sense" while Wyll is losing his goddamn mind.

Pretty early on in the game I found a book (I'm pretty sure it's A is for Azuth and Other Gods 6? Can you tell that a lot of roleplay is based around books for me) That has Ilmater, and between this children's book and the general assumptions people make about him, he can guess that he's supposed to be a martyr. It isn't his natural instinct, but he takes to it surprisingly well (His fighting style is protection, by the way. It's useless in combat but thematically appropriate so I don't care). I also think that he would encourage Gale to ramble about Ilmater because the man is like Forgotten Realms Google and this is probably his most trustworthy source of information for a while. I think Deimos really likes Gale because he talks a lot and helps drown out the murder thoughts.

So Deimos keeps up the facade-but-not-really-a-facade of being a brave, kind, selfless person who puts everyone before himself, and he tells his companions that he has dark thoughts and impulses, but they tell him that it's normal, and who is he to question them? (Again, he is easily convinced by things in weird ways. He trusts basically anyone more than he trusts his own brain, right now)

...And then Alfira comes to camp.

OH BOY. Okay so I have done playthroughs where I knock out Alfira and kill the Dragonborn bard instead, but I've been trying really hard not to metagame in this run so sadly our lovely tiefling bard is no longer with us. Deimos' honest first reaction to finding out he gored her is... to laugh.

Not a happy laugh, mind you- He's horrified, but his first thought is that he's broken his Oath, and then that that is decidedly not the first thing he should be thinking after he killed an innocent woman. So he laughs at the irony, and then he cries, and then he vomits. He cleans the blood off his hands but not because he wants to hide what he did. He just thinks that if he has to feel the blood on his fingers for one more second then he's going to go insane.

He never really stops feeling the blood. It will always be there.

My party at this point was Karlach, Astarion, and Wyll, and... Ouch. I felt like physical pain the first time I played Durge and everyone was mad at me. I think Deimos has that experience, here.

He wants to cry but he knows that he doesn't deserve to be upset about this. He vows that no innocent will ever die at his hand again, and sequesters himself in the ruin with the magic mirror in it and prays. He doesn't know how,really, but something in him remembers what a prayer for forgiveness sounds like. He begs Ilmater to listen to his repentance. Deimos carries a permanent, bone-deep guilt, but this is the first time he feels it so keenly.

He must read his tenets a hundred times, that day. He asks Withers to bring her back, but he understands why he can't. This is a burn on his conscience. She's at peace now, at least.

He is not, but what he feels doesn't matter.

(He is still immensely relieved that his oath is still intact. Breaking his oath might as well be breaking Deimos, and there's no telling what he will do once he's broken)

But, while everyone else is horrified, scared, or maybe just annoyed with Deimos, Astarion doesn't hate him.

And, look... Deimos' moral compass is literally a book, and the book doesn't say that he can't like a guy who thinks it's funny when you tell kids they're gonna die. He just really wants someone to not hate him, so now his best friend is a guy with an extremely underdeveloped moral compass. I think he clocks pretty early on that Astarion is manipulating him. But also... he doesn't care.

Deimos has always been- pre and post lobotomy- loyal to a fault. He was loyal to his foster family until Bhaal made him kill them. He was loyal to Bhaal and Saverok and even Orin. He was loyal to Gortash and Ketheric. He is a paladin at heart, whether that be under Bhaal or Ilmater. He is loyal and dutiful and constantly wracked with guilt.

Guilt for disobeying his father. Guilt for caring about people. Guilt for his past. Guilt for his urges. He's catholic coded.

So just like he was loyal to Bhaal he becomes loyal to Ilmater. Just like he was loyal to Gortash and Ketheric (Yeah, I'm going there) he becomes loyal to Astarion.

And like, he sleeps with Astarion, and he doesn't mind it, and for all his manipulation they do actually like each other, and then the tiefling party happens...

And look... Deimos knows that Astarion is lying when he says "I love you." He knows and acknowledges that fact and he can fully see that Astarion is pulling his strings like a good little puppet.

...And he just doesn't care. He lets himself believe, if only for a night, that someone loves him, despite his hands that are stained with blood and death and secrets.

And he lets Astarion feed on him, and they travel through the Underdark, and Deimos tries to hold his broken brain together.

The Grym fight is a weirdly potent moment for him, because I think that's when it really hits his companions that Deimos... Just does not value his own life.

Because at this point my party was Shadowheart, Karlach, and Astarion. Astarion and Deimos lure Grym onto the crucible, and Astarion can disengage and jump away. Karlach takes out the last of the magma mephits, and Shadowheart is next to the crucible lever.

Deimos can't disengage, though, and he cast survival instinct on Astarion earlier. So he drinks a potion of superior healing, and he tells Shadowheart to pull the lever.

Astarion's "No, my sweet bloodthirsty friend!" UGH I love it.

But Deimos (barely) survives (Which in reality means "Yay I don't have to use a scroll of revivify" but I want my angst so shhh)

They long rest, and the next day it's up to the mountain pass. I... really don't have a lot to say about the Githyanki Creche? Except that I know that Deimos just follows Lae'zel's lead on this. He bows to Vlaakith, and he... mildly considers killing the Dream Visitor (Who, by the way, looks as close to Jaheira as I could make her look, because the boy needs a mom and the Emperor clocks that easily)

He also gets VERY angry about the Varsh's treatment of Varrl (That is a CHILD how DARE you. I wish there was an option to fight him without making everyone else in the Creche hostile I hate this man)

I turned on non-lethal attacks for fighting my way out of the Creche, because I think Deimos doesn't want to kill these people- For Lae'zel's sake, and for his own.

Okay so maybe I do have a bit to say about the Creche sue me.

That awful fight with the like death knights or whatever in the mountain pass sucks. I don't know why but it always makes me so incredibly angry. Maybe it's just because that was the first place I ever actually had a party member die idk. Not related to Deimos I just had a bad time.

Oh, the Elminster thing...

Unlike almost every Tav or Durge I have, Deimos understands Gale's want to sacrifice himself to save the world/earn Mystra's forgiveness. He's a martyr, after all. He doesn't judge- He knows that feeling. He tells Gale as much. He doesn't want his friend to die, but he wants his friend to feel like he has a purpose. (Semi-related; This is my first run where I'm free of the bug where Gale is in love with you no matter what, and his platonic Act 2 scene before the Illithid colony is just... So sweet? Like he just wants his friend to be there for him. I love that wizard. Yes I will watch the stars with you buddy)

But now we are on to the Shadow Cursed lands, and Act 1 is over. Wow, this was so long.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Barbenheimer review!!

Haha well

First off, I loved the *experience*. I love going to the movies, but I don't know that I've ever done a double feature in a theater before--there just haven't been many movies that would motivate me to do so, and my money is usually kinda tight, and my parents certainly never did that when we were kids because money was DEF tight and I'm one of four children. I suspect studios will attempt to replicate this shit, but it's not going to work (at least, not as well). The Oppenheimer theater I was in (saw that first, thank God) was about 80% full. The Barbie theater was completely packed. I went with a couple of female friends, neither of whom would normally see Oppenheimer, lol.

I should add--I'm not a big Nolan fan. I have seen, SOMEHOW, all but like, three of his movies, so I actually know what I'm talking about with him--and I think I can say I legitimately like Memento, I like things about The Dark Night and hate other things about The Dark Knight, I appreciate Dunkirk as a spectacle but don't think I would have liked it if I hadn't seen it in a theater, I ironically enjoy parts of Tenet (I think it's like... bad, but I really love the dynamic JDW and RPattz created), and the ONLY movie of his that I love is The Prestige. To me, everything else he's done since is chasing the greatness of The Prestige, you will never convince me that isn't his best work. And EVEN THEN. I think The Prestige, like many movies of its ilk including the Good Plot of Oppenheimer, is chasing Amadeus (1984).

I don't think Oppenheimer is bad. I think that Oppenheimer would absolutely be getting shit on for certain things if anyone other than Christopher Nolan did them, as is often the case with Nolan movies because filmbros give Nolan a pass so often; and I think it is grounded and maybe saved by a very good performance from Cillian Murphy (and I gotta say, it's a testament both to issues in the script and the power of the Murphy filmography that this is not Cillian's best work ever, it's still very good and he's set for a nom for sure) and... as much as I loathe to say this... the best work RDJ, a dude I can't stand, has done in years. I think the movie does a solid job of simplifying what is a very complex story and history (.... sometimes too much) and I think it does a decent job of portraying someone who did something really bad and then regretted it in a fairly gray manner. The movie sympathizes with Oppenheimer, but I don't necessarily think it like... lionizes him. It shows that he's a genius, but like, he was; it shows that he realized that he Fucked Up and tried to advocate for a safer usage of nuclear weapons; but he did.

Here's where we run into issues. This movie absolutely did not fucking need to be 3 hours long. There is NO. WAY. This shit needed to be as long as it was. We didn't need that much backstory of Oppenheimer in school, and Oppenheimer becoming a professor, and the bones of the Manhattan Project. The really interesting shit in this movie, I've gotta be real with you, is not the bomb. The really interesting shit in this movie is the aftermath of the bomb, the realization of Huge Mistakes, and the subsequent "betrayal" by a government that never gave a fuck about human beings, including Oppenheimer. The Red Scare of it all, and the creeping resentment Lewis Strauss felt towards Oppenheimer and the scientific community at large, which I gotta say, Nolan could've leaned into even more considering how that thread connects to the resentment right wing politicians especially feel towards not only the scientific community but academic at large to this. There's where the story felt alive--the Mozart and Salieri of it all, the PRESTIGE of it all. What is compelling is not a big bomb or tons of scientists repeatedly going "you're brilliant, Oppy, but you gotta figure out whether or not you're a Commie and plan accordingly", it is THAT. That tension. One of the best parts of the movie was Chekhov's Rami Malek, because it was the culmination of that tension, you know? Also, the FIVE BILLION TIMES we had Strauss flash back to Albert Einstein giving him a bitchy look. That kind of character tension is where it's at.

But Christopher Nolan is perhaps the most aggressively WHITE MALE filmmakers of all time, so it's really not surprising to me that he thought that The Bomb was equally interesting, and that we needed six billion shots of marbles representing uranium, or whatever.

And the thing is, for all that the movie is way too long, it also skips over shit that is incredibly important. I don't necessarily think the movie needed to delve into Hiroshima and Nagasaki on an "on the ground" level, frankly because I don't think Nolan has the range and I also think that the way it affected Oppenheimer was both direct and indirect, and the film communicated that fairly well. But as much time as the movie spent in Los Alamos, as much time as we saw beautiful shots of the area, and Oppenheimer riding horses around there with his wife, we had maaaaybe five throwaway lines about indigenous people? And like, no acknowledgment of the long term physical, financial, and emotional effects the project had on the community there. That is DIRECT. They were literally right there. And again, I don't think Nolan has the range, but when so much of your behemoth of a film takes place. Right there. It just seems insane to ignore it.

Additionally, Christopher Nolan remains incapable of writing women and convincing romantic relationships, even when he's going off of a biography of a guy whose romantic relationships were quite interesting. Florence Pugh is in like, less than 10 minutes of this movie despite having done so much promo. Jean Tatlock is given so little characterization that if you didn't understand what was happening with her before the movie, I don't know that you would fully get that she was severely depressed and not just Kind of a Bitch until she kills herself. And of course, there is like, a vague allusion to her struggle with her sexuality, which contributed to that depression, but it's not explicit. The scene where she makes him read The Line to her while he's inside her is... I wanna know.... is that like something Nolan read as a rumor to have happened or did he just make it up? Lotta questions there on a lotta levels.

I don't mind the nudity in Florence's scenes, obviously; I don't mind the sex scenes, though the second one was SUPER WEIRD (and by the second one I mean the time Oppenheimer and his wife imagined him naked with Jean riding him during his 1954 questioning). But I found the positioning of Jean as the angry whore figure to Kitty's Corrupted Madonna as super odd. Like, why is Jean shown naked so often, whereas Kitty, Oppenheimer's wife with whom he had a colorful sexual history, who in general was known to be kind of a voracious woman... Never depicted in a sexual light? Why is Jean just Kind of a Sad Bitch until she dies, and Kitty is another sad bitch who is drunk in BASICALLY. EVERY. SCENE and like, hating being a mom and little else? And like, Kitty was a known alcoholic who struggled with motherhood and had a volatile relationship with her husband. But lol, with all the fucking run time this movie had, you could've given more time to making Jean and Kitty seem like people versus thorns in his side, while keeping them flawed. Just like you could've mentioned more about the OTHER dark side of Los Alamos.

Also, one of the best scenes of the movie was in fact Oppenheimer crying in a forest over his dead mistress while his drunk wife rides up on a horse (I assume they don't let her drive a car because she literally can't drop her purse without a flask falling out of it) and is like "PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER MAN". It would've been even better if these emotional bonds had been better cemented. Same with the scene where Kitty stepped up during the interrogation and went "THAT'S MY MAN RIGHT OR WRONG. AND MAYBE I WAS A COMMUNIST IDK I WAS DRUNK."

And let's be fucking real, there are so many things about this movie that filmbros would nitpick if it wasn't Nolan. Einstein appearing out of the shadows randomly in the middle of the night in his cozy sweater to be like "shit bro, sucks that they're Red Scare-ing you". The moment in the end where they were like "and a junior senator from MASSACHUSETS didn't like what you did to Oppy" and I held my breath and went "oh my God" and they went "... and that senator? JOHN FITZGERALD KENNEDY". The "read The Line You'll Say Later When the Bomb Blows Up Right Now When You're About the Blow Up Inside Me" moment. That shit is so cliche, and I don't mind (most of) it in theory, but if ANYONE ELSE did it, they would be getting dragged, and if this movie was made for people other than white guys, it would be getting dragged, but because it's Nolan, it's fine.

So those are my Oppenheimer thoughts.

My thoughts on Barbie are less complex. I think it was a better movie; I think Ryan Gosling absolutely deserves an Oscar nom; I laughed a LOT. It didn't change my life or tell me things I didn't already know, but I didn't need it to. I think the visuals were great, the costume/set/production designers really came the fuck through.

I will say lol.... I do think you can see where Greta was toned down, because Greta is a very white feminist filmmaker. And honestly, she needs a tempering hand. I think this is probably my favorite work of hers aside from Little Women, which also had a tempering hand. Like, in this case, I think that having a surface level understanding of feminism and patriarchy works for a movie like this. Because while the movie is satire, it's also extreme capitalism, and it kind of goes without saying that it can't go beyond surface level.

I think there is something to be said about like... the reality of Barbie versus what this movie was selling as Barbie, and there is something so interesting about the movie both acknowledging that and totally sidestepping it. Like, that's some fascinating shit, when you really think about it.

I would've preferred a movie where Ken and Barbie fell in love, but I guess I'm just a bad feminist (lol and I had no expectation that the movie would have them fall in love walking in--I'd pretty much figured out the plot before I began the film). I also think that the movie didn't fully make me understand why Barbie wanted to be a human, at all. Like, the human world honestly sucks balls (not in a fun way), and it felt like Barbieland was more actualized and real at the end, so. Why leave. Why would ANYONE leave. If I was America Ferrera, I would pack up my dorky husband and daughter and stay there.

I did love the mother/daughter themes; I loved the "you're so beautiful" moment. I loved the Ken War. I was surprised by how it was acknowledged that women being expected to be everything was Bad, Actually and maybe we do just wanna fucking chill the fuck out and some of us want to do nothing and be moms.

So like, I have Intellectual Critiques of Barbie, but to be clear, I did have a great time and I did laugh throughout and the theater was really fun and I want to see it again. It was a totally enjoyable experience, and I think that movie is going to stay in minds and stand the test of time and be something people watch with the future generations.

But. Lol. They Cloned Tyrone was better than either of them.

[doctor-looneys-remedy]

Purity, Racism and so on

I listened to the podcast "Pure White" which is about the modern Christian Purity culture and the tenets it has, and the history of those tenets dating back to the idea of white women being pure and non-white women being less so. Its an interesting topic for me having been in the environment that I was in as a kid and what I experienced and observed in my school and in churches. I don't know that I believe every sentence of the podcast, but I won't deny that there is a lot of value in the discussion.

One of the statements Dr Moslener makes that hit me really hard is that the far religious right and White Christian Nationalism isn't so much a death cult, as it is an innocence cult.

It makes sense.

White people must be innocent of any wrongdoing and never made to feel even a tiny-winy bit bad about racial injustices or systems that were used against others. I mean, they weren't Specifically Labeled as Racist, so how could they ever wever ever be so? How could it rain when the weather man called for sunshine?

White women, especially, must always be innocent at all times, even if they busted into the damn capital, broke windows, and were part of a group that threatened the life of the VP.

Children must not only be innocent but ignorant and somehow also girls should marry at 18 and yet also know next to nothing about sex and simultaneously rebuff anyone's attempts to be sexual with them and also also be aware enough to be whatever the current definition of modest is. Be a blank little idiot, but be OUR blank little idiot.

[At this point, given what I have seen, heard and experienced in this life, I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't the fever dream of some to control their children's voting habits after their death as part of their Last Will and Testament. ]

And Trumpy Wumpy, well... of course he is the MOST EVER INNOCENT of all, even as he grifts off the very Bible they swear they believe in.

But its fully in line with the gaslighting that many of us see growing up that is just all too damn common in the evangelical world. A world where men are always somehow given a pass by the glazed, bedazzled eyes of women that are happy to throw everyone else under the bus as long as they maintain credibility as a Good Christian Woman.

Listen to me when I say this, because it needs to be said and understood:

There is not a white kid alive who has not been going home from a family reunion and mom didn't say, "oh, your Uncle didn't really mean that!!" about that racist or sexist thing that Uncle Bob absolutely really did mean. After all, Uncle Bob is a good guy at heart. He helped replace your water heater last November. This easily slides into the way the right wing women treat Donald Trump, because the thinking pattern is already so well-worn it seems like common sense. If he said the horrible thing, even if he DID the horrible thing, well... he didn't REALLY MEAN it. Not really. I mean, he's just being a bit of a rascal at the reunion telling a joke about Mexicans. He's just being a regular guy when he grabs that waitress' skirt. He's really a good dude at the end of the day, who likes his college football and trucks and once in a while a beer or two. After all, he Goes To Church.

(he probably owned that porn stash we found in the woods behind his house. But he blames the porn industry for existing rather than himself for buying it. But at the same time it isn't really wrong because God Gave Men Desires (tm).)

Here's my question: Why the desperation for deep and permanent unquestioned innocence? Why do you need it so very badly? Why haven't you questioned the script in your head that makes you driven toward it? Why haven't you questioned the foundational notions you have built this reaction on?

[cosmictyto]

First, addressing The Cure for Madness… yeah, broski’s hurt real bad. After that much blood loss dude would be pale as hell, and he’d also be covered in sweat and mud, while lying in a puddle of his own blood, from running all the way from Falkreath to Dawnstar. Add on tears and snot from dealing with that much pain. And he’s crumpled into a little ball when you finally find him. He’d probably also be quaking from adrenaline, exhaustion, chill, and pain.

Now, all that aside, all of this kinda brings up something in this character that I utterly love.

He reminds me of a coyote or a jackal.

Sure, he’s small and unassuming at first. He’s just the poor, mad yet humble keeper. He even dresses as a jester. Someone who only exists to be laughed at and then cast aside.

But, there’s still a viciousness to him. He’s still an assassin, just as deadly as the rest of the brotherhood. You can first see this if you lie to the guard outside of Loreius’ farm. After Cicero makes it to Falkreath, you’ll find Loreius and his wife dead in their home with Cicero saying he “learned the meaning of ‘ugly.’” And look at what he did to poor Veezara.

He’s not stupid or naive, either. That’s obvious enough from his journals. And considering how he later says (while you’re hiding in the NM’s coffin to spy on him) that he’s “spoke to the others” and that they’re coming around, I think he was fully aware that they were bringing doom down on their own heads by disrespecting the tenets the Brotherhood was built on. But, he knows that he’s gotta play his cards carefully and try to win them over instead of hitting them over the head with… idk, dark scripture? Despite his insanity and jester persona, he’s still very sly and calculating.

And then there’s his sheer fucking determination to live. Like y’all said, he’s survived multiple sanctuary destructions, he survived years of isolation, he survived an attack from a werewolf (and likely much more) and despite the fact that he was moments away from death, he had a blade hidden and he was ready to fight tooth and nail to stay alive.

(Also note how that whole final interaction he’s making himself seem as small, meek, and helpless as possible. Trying to get you to take pity on him and not acknowledge him as the very real threat he is. There’s that sense of cunning again.)

Even if he did die, he’s fore sure gonna try and drag you down into the Void with him.

And if you don’t kill him, he somehow manages to live despite being in his heavily wounded, exhausted state and then presumably camped out in the wrecked Dawnstar sanctuary + wherever he was hiding outdoors before showing up to thank you for sparing him. Like, wtf??

He’s easily one of the most layered characters in this game. And I love him in all of his twisted glory.

I love when people draw Cicero during The Cure for Madness, laying majestically on the floor with barely any blood around him, and looking put together when...

He almost died. He outran and outsmarted a werewolf, he survived the fall of two sanctuaries, he kept the night mother safe all those years in isolation. And... he tracked so much blood through the sanctuary. So much that you had a clear path to find him.

And Arnbjorn even mentions that he thinks he got an artery. Plus, with Cicero screaming and announcing all the stuff around the sanctuary, the coughing, the wheezing when you finally get to him, he sounds so tired.

And I can't imagine the betrayal he feels if you decide to kill him. He spent all that time looking for a listener, looking for YOU, and this is how he's repayed? And, how could he ever kill the listener? Imagine the moral dilemma going through him guys-

LET HIM BE PATHETIC, LET HIM CRY, LET HIM YELL, LET HIM BLEED, AND LET HIM LAUGH WHILE DOING IT PLEASEEEEEE

[ktficworld]

London boy

Paring: Neil tenet x desi!reader

Summary: you were in a bad mood. And a poor blond was your victim.

Warnings: none

A/n: yelp, I'm going this. Neil with desi reader equals no traction. Anyway. If anyone wants to be tagged, let me know. Let's see if it's going to be funny outside of my head.

Main masterlist

Neil tenet masterlist

@the-house-of-auditore-frye

To say you were in a shitty mood would be an understatement.

First your AC broke, then unannounced guest dropped like bomb, and then groceries ran out. Meaning you'd have to go to market in the middle of the June afternoon.

Oh and the heat.

Don't even talk about that. Sunny dearest was sucking up all your energy like someone drinking every drop of a very expensive drink.

God you hated summer

No it was not summer. It was the trailer of the hell that everyone was going to.

You didn't bring your scooty. Oh no, because you were pretty sure with this heat rain. You could probably make dosa on the seat. Which you didn't wanted to do to your backside. So a good walk it was.

You were so exhausted that you didn't even tried to bargain. Your mother was going to chew you out, you were sure of it.

You took the gorciers. And made your way back home. When a accented voice called from behind.

"Excuse me, miss."

Huh, when did mumbai boys started having british accent.

You turned around to see two very tall and very non- Indians. One was clearly white. With blonde hair and blue eyes. Like if someone wanted to give a example of a white man. He would fit right in. Another was a dark skinned man, black. You concluded.

After seeing them you had two questions.

First, how the fuck were they wearing suits while you were melting here?

Second, what the fuck were they even going here?

"Yes..."

"I'm neil." The blonde said.

Clothes wihitening neel?

Oh god! No you idiot it's a name. You mentally chastised yourself.

It wasn't helping that your brain was cooking something evil after listening his accent. British hmmm...

"Yes neil, how can I help you?" You said while grinning internally. You were going to pull something and he was going to be the target.

"I want to-" That was when the tubelight went off in your head.

"Want. What do you want? You already took everything." You said in a sickeningly innocent voice.

He stopped as if his train of thoughts have hit a dead end. And his face contorted in utter confusion. Same was the black guy.

Honestly you were having a hard time keeping a straight face.

"I'm sorry?"

"It's okay, at least someone said sorry."

Now, his gaze was just screaming "what the fuck lady."

You glanced at the black dude. You held your gaze for sometime with your innocent face. And you saw as realization dawned on him.

Now, he was trying hard not to laugh.

"Actually, we are looking for someone's address." The black man said. While the blonde was still processing.

"Who?" Knowing everyone in Mumbai was impossible. But you could take a shot.

"Priya."

"Oh! She's abroad, studying."

"What?!

"There are lakhs of priyas. You gotta be specific."

After he gave you some details. You figured out who he was talking about. Priya, nice and sweet lady. You have met her a few times. So you gave him her address. And he looked pleased with the information.

"Neil, let's go." He said as he put a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, but-"

"We don't have time for this." He looked at you and said." Thank you."

"You're welcome." You said as he dragged Neil away. But you wanted to pull his leg one last time.

"HAVE A GOOD DAY, LONDON BOY." you shouted. It got his attention and also of some bystanders, but you didn't care about them.

His eyes went wide and his jaw dropped. He looked like he just solved the baramunda triangular mystery.

You threw your head back and laughed till your lungs hurt and your eyes waterd.

Maybe he finally got the reference.

[trojanteapot]

Next Gen, Clues, and (not making) First Contact

Okay so that episode Clues in Next Gen is a cool fun mystery episode, but in a way, it does highlight something about first contact that at the time of airing not many people were thinking about. Yes I know the episode right after it is literally called First Contact, but this one is more interesting to me! So you will sit here and hear me talk about it! (Or not, it's your time spend it how you want my dude) Episode Summary (You can skip this part it's long) In this episode, the Enterprise goes "through a wormhole" that knocks them out. When they wake up, Data tells everyone, and all of their sensors indicate they were knocked out for 30 seconds, but there are clues that they'd been out for longer than that, about a day. The more they investigated these clues, the more they realized that they really were missing for an entire day.

This weird space moss grew shows an entire day's worth of growth!

Worf's wrist got broken but was healed by something in Sick Bay. That can't happen in 30 seconds!

For some reason Data keeps insisting it was 30 seconds in a really urgent and extremely suspicious way. Because it's out of character for him to do this, Picard keeps needling him, but Data is sworn to silence about what really happened. One thing's for certain, he definitely 100% does not want Picard to go back to where the "wormhole" was to investigate the true cause of all of the discrepancies. Even at the cost of losing his position (which may mean getting his brain dissected by scientists for some reason even though I thought Data earned some rights for himself? I digress)

"Data why are you purposely obstructing this? Your life is on the line here! We're only telling you because we are concerned for your well being as friends but also you're lying to us."

But this is Picard we're talking about here so they go back anyway! At the coordinates where the "wormhole" should be, there is instead a planet. And it is inhabited by a race that is so xenophobic that not only do they want to be left alone but they do not want any race that had accidentally met them to even remember their existence just in case!

weird green mist... that never bodes well.

The aliens also randomly take control of Deanna Troi... twice. Which is very uncool of them tbh. But they need Marina Sirtis to do things in every episode okay?

They've already met the Enterprise the first time, but everyone agreed to have their memory wiped. Of course, that doesn't work for Data because he's an android, so Picard made Data swear an oath of secrecy and do everything in his power to stop the Enterprise from going back to that system. But yeah, it didn't quite work out did it?

The crew are respectful peeps, so they work with the aliens and allow the memory wiping thingy again, but this time with LESS clues. It also seems like maybe those aliens also altered everyone's perception of the event to be extremely terrifying, and even thinking about that place fills them with dread. So this new terror stops their curiosity and they also tell Starfleet to put a No-Go Zone around the "wormhole." Roll End Credits.

Picard: I... have a bad feeling about all this. But also, I fear for my life now. Let's get the fuck outta here.

Data: Oh jesus christ thank god that's over.

Where the hell are you going with this? I'm bored One of the core tenets of any main line Trek series is making first contact with alien species. But what if you met a race of people that didn't want to be contacted? That wanted to be left alone so badly that they would do anything to make you leave? And if you don't leave, it WILL cost you your life?

We may think this race is extreme for being so xenophobic, but in truth, they're not. Think about our own history and how first contact has usually gone. Maybe this race had made first contact before, and it went horribly for them. So it's great that the crew of the Enterprise were not only respectful of that race's wishes to be left alone, but to even cooperate with them for them to remain uncontacted on their terms, not on Starfleet's terms. Something that I think we forget when dealing with other cultures in real life.

Honestly you don't need to travel through space, there are already groups of people on Earth that don't want to make first contact, and just want to be left alone. North Sentinel Island and the Sentinelese

(CAVEAT: I'm not an expert! Please do further reading about this on your own! I may very well be giving you incorrect/outdated information!)

North Sentinel Island is part of the Andaman Islands in the Bay of Bengal. On paper, the Andaman Islands are a territory of India, but North Sentinel Island is treated as an autonomous region instead, with a wide Exclusion Zone around it.

This is because North Sentinel Island is home to the Sentinelese, an uncontacted people who wish to remain uncontacted forever. They will defend that right with violence, and they've always succeeded, even though they are hunter-gatherers. And you know what? They have that right. Our society is shitty and they've definitely seen the tribes on neighbouring islands get fucked over, so yeah.

Unfortunately sometimes people don't listen and they try to land on North Sentinel Island. This is... unwise. And it has always gone poorly.

There are other uncontacted groups all over the world. Each has their own rules that prevent us from making contact depending on the situation. I only used the Sentinelese as an example to illustrate this, and please don't assume that the rules for the Sentinelese apply to any of the other uncontacted peoples.

There are other discussions to be had about how climate change will affect uncontacted peoples, and how we could help them defend against something that they had no part in causing but is actively harming them. Should we help them at all? This is hard to say. I don't know what the best way to deal with this is. Again, Not An Expert.

TL;DR The lesson is to always engage with other cultures on their terms, not yours. Everyone and their grandmother already knows Starfleet is pretty much American Imperialism in Space (but way less problematic), so it was a really great thing for the Enterprise to recognize that they need to follow through with the other race's wishes, even though it is against their own best interests. If engaging with this race on their own terms is that they don't want you to go near them, ever, then DON'T.

[randomtvpollsjp]

Brie Larson once said, “I do not need a 70-year-old white dude to tell me what didn’t work for him about "A Wrinkle in Time." It wasn’t made for him.”

And a lot of people were up in arms about it. But I actually agree with her!

I just finished #EmilyInParis S2 and I remembered how everyone hated on S1 and how it was a joke. But the thing is, I related to Emily and a lot of her storylines. Especially as an expat living in a foreign country as well.

What I genuinely think is that every piece of media is simply not FOR YOU. Every piece of art can’t be quantified by the poles of “good” or “bad” because what might be bad for you, might be good for others.

#Riverdale at this point isn’t “good” from a critical standpoint. But you know what it IS? Entertaining. I NEVER KNOW what’s going to happen in the next episode—or next scene—of the show. It’s kitschy. And it knows it. It’s not SUPPOSED to make sense.

Before I saw Camila Cabello’s #Cinderella, people made me think it was cringe. But when I watched it, I quite liked it! It matched my politics. I liked the messages. I liked some of the songs. It was for someone like me. And if you didn’t like it, that’s ok!

People love Christopher Nolan and I’ve loved a lot of his stuff. But I didn’t “get” #Tenet. I just didn’t. It wasn’t FOR ME. But I know there are people who like it and I’m glad FOR THEM. THEY were the intended audience.

We could not like a film or TV show or book (looking at the #Twilight saga) but not bash the people who made it or the people who consume it. Just say that it’s not your taste. I’m lactose intolerant. Does that mean that I should bash everyone who drinks milk? ❤️

[thereisnokapitanwithoutpavel]

Gotta be honest, when I first saw Pavel, I was very suspicious about him. But things have changed to opposite after a couple of seconds of intro cutscene, and after finishing first Cayo heist I completely fell in love with this cute and adorable Klukva man.

What is Klukva? Its a cranberry in Russian. And also it is a complex of different stereotypes about Russians that have nothing to do with reality: we have bears as pets, we drink vodka saying “Na zdorovye”, there is always one season in Russia - winter -, and we are cold resistant, we commute to work on tanks, and go fishing using nuclear submarine, women are ballerinas, men are spies from KGB, totalitarianism, etc.

Klukva can be good and bad. I love good Klukva where Russians are tough and cool guys with iron will. I like Ivan Danko (“Red Heat”), Boris “the Blade”(“Snatch”), and Lev Andropov (“Armageddon”). Bonus points to Lev because he was played by Peter Stormare (he is awesome).

But nowadays Klukva is mostly bad, and Russians are shown either as always drinking odd untidy dudes, or cruel shitheads: CoD: Modern warfare, Stranger Things S3, Chernobyl, Tenet, Rise of the Tomb Raider, Black Widow. Stop mixing game and movie industry with politics, that’s not cool, no.

So, after I first saw Pavel, I wasn’t really waiting for anything good. I thought: “Great, another stereotypical Russian with heavy accent, what will be next? Endless talks about vodka and Russian government? World conquering?”. Nothing like this. Very quickly I was charmed by his charisma, laidback optimistic attitude, and smile. His funny stories are a true gem. He is a cunning criminal mastermind, but at the same time, he shows that he cares about protagonist and their team (while doing heist, if someone will reach escape point sooner than others, Pavel will say “we’ll wait, we left no one behind”), he supports us, respects us and treats as a friend. And its impossible to not fall in love with this character or don’t like him.

And this man smokes sitting relaxed on a torpedo. In torpedo bay. Thats both crazy and hot goddamn sexy.

Many of Russian comments I read were saying that he is anything but Russian. “His accent doesn’t sound like Russian and he doesn’t even speak language like Victor”. Yes, his accent is not Russian, and he really doesn’t speaks language, but as I remember only a couple of non-English speaking characters in GTA were voiced by native speakers. And this husky sexy voice of Pavel, especially when he gradually starts talking slower in deep and rough voice… my goodness…. Honestly, I don’t care that voicing actor is not Russian speaking. “We don’t have phrases that he says (“as we say in Russia…”)”. Yes, we don’t, but phrases are funny and cool, and now I use them in real life (“you can be accurate, or you can shit in your pants, not both” - thats hilarious), so at least one Russian speaks it.

One video says that he is Klukva, he has nothing to do with real Russians. Well, yes, he is, but you know what, Los Santos and San Fierro are not real either with Sprunk, LifeInvader, and IFruit. Its a game full of parodies, and Pavel is a parody on Russians. But actually a good one.

Pavel is one of my favorite types of Klukva: cool middle-aged man, criminal mastermind, hardworking (he maintains solo an old Soviet nuclear submarine); he is living on a diet of red caviar and navy wine (thank god its not vodka), smoking on torpedo, telling crazy unfinished stories, and laughing like an old pirate. He is a good man, charming, funny, loyal. And seeing how much he is loved in at least English speaking GTA community, it really warms my Russian heart. Among ugly evil modern Klukva, Pavel is a ray of sunshine, a projectile of light. And I’m really grateful to Rockstar for it.

[himboarcher]

reasons i've seen folks say that grad critics hate grad:

they hate travis (in fairness, i’ve def seen some comments of people shitting on trav for the sake of shitting on trav, but it’s not super common and typically gets downvoted into oblivion on reddit.)

it's not balance / travis isn't griffin (???????)

they hate neurodivergent people (again, in fairness, i have seen a handful of comments that could come across this way! but most of the time when travis being ADHD or his NPD is brought up, it's by defenders saying that criticizing travis is ableist because he's neurodivergent or, in one particular comment, infantilizing him bc of it and literally comparing grad to putting a kid's artwork on the fridge. there were some comments early on that pointed to him being a narcissist as the reason for things people disliked about grad, but everyone seems to have realized that that's a shitty train of thought and left it behind.)

they're just toxic haters (again, there are a small handful of people like this because this is the internet, but the genuine criticism greatly outweighs their bullshit. i 100% think that the people, which is mostly just one dude who is also insufferable on reddit, who have been responding rudely to positive tweets under the episode announcements lately are out of line and need to stop. there's been an influx of that lately, presumably because people are frustrated that after over a year of grad going on, there's been no improvement to most of the major issues. that's still no excuse to be a dick to folks, though.)

vs some of the actual reasons i don't like grad:

the racism / racist tropes, and the way that they’ve straight up ignored this criticism and will likely never acknowledge it. pretty wild considering a core tenet of their brand is their willingness to acknowledge when they’ve messed up and do their best to course correct.

clumsy attempts at inclusion that are shallow and often end up being fairly offensive ("...ask me about my wheelchair," anyone?)

on a related note: i don't think that travis had bad intentions, but as an nonbinary person, it feels othering to me that travis only has enby characters give others their pronouns unprompted. i'm thinking specifically of kai here. having listened to their introduction, i don't think it's as bad or awkward as some people have said, but i can't remember travis ever having another NPC tell the PCs their pronouns, especially not a cis character. it's not a huge deal, but it's something that rubbed me the wrong way. admittedly, i don't think it would bother me so much if travis hadn't dropped the ball so much with performative inclusion in the past.

okay i'm putting the rest under a read more because even without getting into all of the problems i have with it, this got Long.

little to no player agency. player choices are ultimately meaningless and have little to no effect on the world. even when he seems to go along with a plan they come up with, it always ends with them having to go back to travis' pre-written script (see: subpoenaing the xorn, but not really because they had to go with travis' original plan of "send the xorn home through the rift".) the players repeatedly get told things about what they think or feel or what they've been doing to an unnecessary degree. fitzroy is the only one who really gets space to play and decide things for himself, and that's only because travis has decided he's the main character.

the NPCs are all too nice and willing to give the PCs anything they ask for and more, unless the PCs are trying to follow their own plan and then the NPCs are completely useless. but honestly, aside from gray, all of the NPCs are just.... nice. travis refuses to even let his antagonists be mean or cruel or even more than just slightly rude, because that'd be a bummer and we don't want that! the "twist" of gordy the lich king actually being polite and chill is not a twist at all because everyone is like that in this world. the NPCs are also wildly overpowered, but then suddenly absolutely useless when the PCs actually want their help.

too many cliffhangers that are dropped immediately at the beginning of the next episode. i feel bad for travis because so many of these cliffhangers actually set up good momentum and seemed like things were gonna get interesting, but almost every single time he just dropped them at the beginning of the next episode. like when althea showed up to interview the boys and the next episode started with travis being like "actually you went to sleep, she said she'll be back tomorrow!"

that time travis specifically said in his exposition dump that the thundermen left their horses behind because they thought the centaurs might be offended by them riding horses, only to later on rag on them for being surprised that the centaurs had horses they could ride.....

also the centaur arc in general, but i already listed racism above, so.

the way that the toxic positivity and parasocial tendencies in the mcelroy fandoms have made a large portion of the fandom take ANY criticism as a personal attack on travis and/or on themselves for enjoying something others consider bad, either morally or just quality-wise. it’s okay to admit that something you like has problematic elements or just isn’t as good as it once was. you can and should engage critically with the media you consume.

related to above: the way travis has handled genuine criticism, which is to throw public tantrums on his twitter or make weird passive aggressive tweets & ultimately ignore all the genuine criticism and advice he's been offered by claiming it's all subjective, even after he specifically asked for it and set up an email for folks to send in genuine, objective advice for him (after he threw a tantrum on twitter and replied to someone's criticism publicly, which resulted in his followers dogpiling on that person bc how dare they insult their internet best friend). while i was writing this last night, he actually announced that he’s taking a break from Twitter and acknowledged that he’s been using it as an echo chamber where he can easily get validation from folks, and honestly i’m happy for him that he’s recognized this problem and is stepping away for a while! i hope he’ll genuinely use this time to reflect on how he’s been behaving and find a more healthy way to use social media. i’m leaving this point in because i think his Twitter being such a positive echo chamber was encouraging him to do stuff like this, and him somewhat acknowledging his behavior doesn’t mean it can no longer be discussed.

rainer. extremely cool concept in theory and i was very into it until that awkward "does anyone want to ask about my wheelchair?" moment. also when travis had her use her mobility aid to RAM INTO A DOOR instead of just fucking knocking???? also all the times travis has tried to force a romantic relationship between her and fitzroy, despite fitzroy displaying no interest in her in that way. also, just to clarify: as an ace person, i don’t think this is aphobic! (and it’s kind of a stretch to call it that imo, especially since griffin never explicitly said that fitzroy's aromantic!) i just think it’s weird and awkward and a little uncomfortable for me personally, mostly because it reminds me of the times i’ve been in similar situations.

less of a problem than a lot of the other stuff and more just bad writing, but the forced emotional moments. in general, nothing in grad feels earned (why are the boys heading a war? when they have multiple actual heroes with combat experience on their side and a supposedly powerful secret organization? and the thundermen are like 21 years old max and have only had like ~10 fights in the entire campaign?) but there've been a couple times where travis has tried to force unearned emotional moments, presumably because he knows people enjoyed those with the last campaigns. but the difference is that in balance, the big emotional moments happened because they were earned. in grad, it's just travis throwing a baby pegasus at us for a few minutes and then the next time she shows up, it's supposed to be a tearful goodbye.

there are absolutely no stakes. remember when the thundermen got told that if they left, gray would kill 10 students? and then they left and came back and it turns out that what gray actually meant was, "i'll tie ten students who are mostly nameless NPCs to a tree and throw some dogs at them that you can easily stop in time, then throw a tantrum because how dare you but i'll leave before you can really do anything to hurt me lol" travis did have fitzroy's magic get taken away, but like. it didn't really do anything? also all he had to get it back was be coerced into using drugs by an authority figure and trip in the woods?

we're told that the school is weird and the hero system is corrupt, but the world of nua is still presented as more of a liberal utopia than anything? althea getting fired because of a corrupt villain is the only time we've somewhat seen corruption, but even then, she was still allowed to get (what seems to me, anyway, but admittedly i don't know for sure bc nothing about the HOG makes much sense) a fairly important job from the very people who stripped her of her hero license or whatever the fuck heroes need?

travis doesn't actually seem to understand how capitalism or bureaucracy works and just chalks up everything to "red tape." also more on the rest of the boys than him specifically, but the "let's destroy capitalism!" thing turning into just pushing some filing cabinets over................... okay.

and one last piece of extremely subjective criticism: it's just kind of.... boring. i think a lot of people, myself included, would be willing to overlook 90% of the problems with graduation if it didn't feel like such a slog to get through.

also people saying that we can't or shouldn't criticize graduation because it's "free" is absolutely absurd for several reasons. first, something being free does not make it above criticism. second, there ARE people who directly financially support the show with monthly donations. three, there's a difference between something being free and something being not for profit. podcasting is their full time job. they make their living off of money made from TAZ and MBMBAM (and probably their other shows to a lesser extent). this not a fun home game that they are graciously recording and sharing with us. it is a product they are producing that they make money off of, both from ads in the episodes and merch & books based off of these podcasts. they have marketed themselves as professionals, and both griffin and travis have been on panels where they are marketed as professional DMs and appear alongside other professional DMs (which makes it incredibly frustrating when people say that travis is just a newbie DM and we can't criticize him because of that. if he's a newbie, then he should not be taking part of panels as a professional DM where he speaks as an expert). TAZ is free in the same way that an episode of NCIS is free. i may not pay for it directly, but the creators are paid to create it and profit off of me consuming this product. so saying we should be grateful for any mcelnoise that the benevolent good boys share with us and that we're not allowed to criticize it "because it's free" is absolutely wild.

[dothwrites]

worried Dean @ Cas: “I’m not bothering you, am I?”

---

It’s a widely accepted tenet in the art department that Castiel Novak is a genius. 

Dean first hears rumors of Novak’s skills when he’s a freshman. He doesn’t believe them at first. He suspects they’re overblown by groupies who are too interested in trying to get into Novak’s pants (not that Dean can blame them: with his shock of dark hair, ice-blue eyes, and delicate scrollwork of tattoos spiraling up his arms to disappear under the sleeves of his very tight t-shirts, Novak is a walking wet dream). Then, at the end of his freshman year, he’s busy setting up the annual art show when a piece catches his attention. 

At first glance, the painting is deceptively simple. A shadowed figure stands in the center of the canvas, his arms raised up to the sky. Around him are swirls of red, black, and gold, somehow blending into one color in the background. The more Dean looks, the more ambiguity he finds in the painting. Are the swirls of gold lifting the figure up or restraining him? Is the figure fading into the black or breaking free? Is the red coming from him or is he drawing it in? Are his hands raised in supplication or defiance? 

Dean loses track of how many minutes he spends staring at the painting, admiring the shading, the color, the symbolism. Transfixed, he reaches out to touch at the rough surface of the painting before he recalls himself and snaps his hand back to his side. 

“You can touch it if you want.” 

Dean whirls around at the deep voice, his eyes widening when he sees Castiel Novak standing behind him, hands tucked deep into his pockets. Castiel raises a pierced eyebrow at him. 

“Seriously. Go ahead.” 

Dean shakes his head, aware of Castiel’s reputation. “I can’t...we’re not allowed to disturb the artwork--”

Castiel’s mouth twists and Dean doesn’t know whether he’s angry or deprecatory. “Well, I’m the artist, and I say you can.” 

Castiel’s eyes rest heavily on him. Dean swallows, his heart picking up a rhythm that seems attached to the flick of Castiel’s tongue over his lower lip. Hand shaking, he reaches out to brush his fingers over the textured canvas. 

“It’s rough,” Castiel says from right behind him (when the hell did he get that close?), “because becoming is always rough.” 

And that’s how Dean Winchester decided Castiel Novak was a genius. 

---

As school and life continues, Dean admires Castiel Novak from afar. 

From what he can tell, Castiel doesn’t have many friends. He has admirers, which he ignores, and he has a few people who hang onto his fame, which he disdains, but actual friends? The only thing keeping Dean from volunteering is the thought that Castiel will turn the same withering look on him. 

Castiel haunts the art building and, as Dean continues delving into the Art program at Carver Edlund University, he does the same. Sometimes he’ll pass Castiel on his way to his studio. Castiel always nods at him, but it’s a companionable gesture, the same that you might give to someone at the grocery store. He never stops to chat, doesn’t even remove his earbuds. 

And that’s fine. So Dean’s harboring a crush that’s as much intellectual as it is physical. Plenty of people have crushes. It’s fine. It’s not like he’s obsessed. Not like he lurks around just so he can leave at the same time Castiel does. Not like he skulks through the dark halls so he can get a look at Castiel’s new project. That would make him creepy and pathetic, and those are two adjectives which certainly don’t describe Dean Winchester. 

After a while, denial doesn’t even taste bad, just a little bitter. 

By the end of his sophomore year, Dean’s accustomed to the status quo. He notices the light in the private studio allotted to Castiel (all senior Art majors get their own studios, but Castiel got the nicest of them), but he doesn’t stop on his way to his own (shared) studio. When he arrives, however, he screeches to a halt. 

His studio is filled to the brim with snotty freshmen. His personal workplace has been completely commandeered by a freshman with a (barf) man bun. “What the hell?” Dean sputters. He can feel his face turning red with rage. “This is my time.” 

Man-Bun pops his gum as he looks at Dean. His eyes are so hazy Dean’s surprised that he’s not deep-throating a bong at that very moment. “Um, guess again? We totally booked the studio for tonight?” 

Seething, Dean storms to the schedule and checks. Sure enough, there’s a long list of names on the door for the studio space. “I always have Thursday,” he protests, but it’s an empty sort of rage. “I’m always here for Thursdays.” 

Man-Bun shrugs, turning back to his psychedelic smattering of colors. “Not this Thursday, dude.” 

Dismissed, Dean gathers his remaining dignity, and leaves. Standing out in the hallway, he reviews his options. He’s kicked out of his regular studio, and he needs to work tonight, otherwise he’ll never get his final project for figure drawing done. Every studio he passes is booked to capacity; clearly the art program is full of procrastinators. In fact, the only studio that has any sort of room...

“No. No. Shit.” Dean weighs the consequences of failing his class versus metaphorically throwing himself into a volcano. Finally, his fear of failure takes over, and he knocks on the door of his last remaining option. 

The door swings open, revealing a Castiel who looks significantly more disheveled than normal (though normal Castiel usually looks like he was rode hard and put away wet). A smear of blue paint decorates one cheek while his earbuds dangle from his neck. Dean tries to ignore the spirals of Castiel’s tattoos, especially where they disappear under his shirt (he especially tries to ignore the thoughts of what those tattoos look like underneath Castiel’s shirt). Castiel blinks in surprise. 

“Dean. What are you doing here?” 

(The fact that Castiel knows Dean’s name comes as a shock. Dean assumed that he was one of the thousands of nameless faces Castiel passes every day.)

“Um, first let me say, it’s totally awesome if you say no, I don’t expect you to say yes, it’s a huge imposition--”

“Dean, you’re rambling.” 

“Can i use your studio? Or share it? I wouldn’t ask, but a bunch of douchebags took mine and there are no other spaces open, and I really need to finish this project--”

“Sure. Come on.” 

And with that, Castiel steps back and beckons Dean into his studio. 

Dean crosses the threshold with something resembling awe. He never imagined, in his wildest dreams, that he would be allowed into Castiel’s inner sanctum. He tries not to gape too obviously as his eyes dart from corner to corner of the room. It looks...like a studio for the most part. Several canvases are hung around the room; if they’re discarded attempts or inspiration, Dean doesn’t know. They could easily function as either. Castiel finally steps in front of him, directing Dean’s attention to one corner of the room. 

“Would there be good?” 

Dean nods. “Yeah, that’s good.” He pauses, eyes darting nervously around the studio. “I’m not bothering you, am I?”

Castiel frowns, like the thought hadn’t even occurred to him. “No, of course not. If you were, I wouldn’t have opened up the door.” With that, he seems to consider the topic of conversation closed, and retreats back a few steps. 

He sets up his work and tries to ignore the fact that Castiel Novak is watching him. It’s almost impossible not to feel his eyes; the skin on the back of Dean’s neck prickles in awareness, but he perseveres. 

He sets his sketch on the easel before casting a critical eye upon it. He frowns as he notices every imperfection. it’s based off a series of sketches he jotted down in class earlier that day. Dean remembers the careless grace of the model, the way that the fabric had draped artlessly over his waist and shoulders, but he can’t recapture the specific atmosphere of the room, which was what made that particular model striking. Every time he tries to put onto the paper how the room felt, his figures end up wooden and two-dimensional. 

“You’re paying too much attention to the form.” 

Dean jumps, his charcoal pencil scrawling an ungainly line across the page. Not a huge loss, he was already going to toss this one anyway. He turns around to find Castiel standing directly behind him. 

Castiel nods towards his sketchpad. “In your drawings. You’re paying too much attention to the form. That’s why it’s coming out wrong.” 

“The form is all there is,” Dean replies, a little peevishly. He knows the sketch sucks, but that doesn’t mean he wants Castiel freaking Novak pointing it out to him. 

“The form is one part. But you have the lighting and shading and you have the intention. The intention is...the feel of the room. It’s what remains unsaid and unseen to those who weren’t there. It’s what you’re trying to capture by paying so much attention to the form. Of course, by concentrating too much on the technical, you lose the abstract.” 

Castiel flicks over to a new page with a deft flick of his wrist. He plucks the pencil from Dean’s grasp with one hand. With the other, he poses Dean’s hand close to his face. Castiel stares at Dean for a few excruciating seconds before he turns his attention to the empty page. 

Dean hardly dares to breathe as Castiel sketches. He’s not sure how he’s going to return to real life, knowing now the tiny crease that knits between Castiel’s brows or how the tip of Castiel’s tongue pokes out of the corner of his mouth. How is he supposed to live, knowing Castiel hums tunelessly as his hand works? 

“There.” Castiel flips the sketch to face Dean. In it, Dean finds his own face, rendered in a few lines. It’s rough, certainly, but it’s a close enough likeness. More than that, Castiel’s managed to capture...

“Do I look that scared?” Dean blurts out, before he can stop himself. 

Castiel actually laughs, deep and rumbling, from the diaphragm. It’s a lovely sound, one that fills the studio, and one Dean would gladly hear again and again. “You don’t look scared.” He sets the pencil down on the easel and turns fully to face Dean. “Anxious maybe. Hovering on the edge of anticipation.” He steps closer. His chest almost brushes Dean’s, which could be misinterpreted as Castiel not understanding the concept of personal space. 

What can’t be misinterpreted is the unsubtle drop of Castiel’s eyes to Dean’s lips. 

“I guess now would be a good time to tell you that I’ve really wanted to kiss you for almost a year,” Castiel says, his voice scraped rough around the edges. His eyes drag up to Dean’s, and Dean’s taken aback at the wild glint in them. Castiel steps closer and his clever fingers slip into the spaces between Dean’s fingers. “Please Dean,” Castiel breathes, raw and needy, “please, can I kiss you?” 

“Fuck yes,” Dean murmurs, which is all he gets to say before Castiel’s hand cups the back of his head and his lips descend upon Dean’s. 

Not that Dean’s bragging, but he’s had quite a few good kisses in his life (and been told that he gives quite a few good kisses). Castiel blows them all out of the water. Dean’s never been kissed so thoroughly before, like Castiel wants to own him, like Castiel’s interested in finding exactly what makes Dean tick. His teeth nip at the swell of Dean’s lower lip while his tongue delicately traces the seam of Dean’s lips. Dean eagerly opens his mouth, moaning into Castiel’s mouth as Castiel’s tongue slips in along his. 

Hours or days later, when they part, Dean realizes that while one of his hands is cupping the spur of Castiel’s hip (holy fuck, those hips feel like handles for his hands), his other hand is still holding Castiel’s. It’s certainly the sweetest kiss that’s ever given him a boner. 

Castiel laughs, a little breathless. It’s only then Dean realizes he’s a little taller than Castiel. “You do live up to expectations,” he murmurs, and Dean’s not sure whether Castiel’s talking to himself or not. 

The words spark a recent memory in Dean, and suddenly nothing is more important than finding out the truth. “You said you wanted to do that for a year?” Castiel nods, his eyes suddenly shifting to the side. “Why?” 

“Everyone always goes on about my art. How groundbreaking it is, how I’m a ‘once in a generation talent’.” Castiel uses finger-quotes, which should not be as endearing as Dean finds it. “And it’s nice, but none of them even bother to see my art for what it is. They just see my name attached to it and they lose their shit. But last year...You saw that painting. It didn’t matter to you who made it. You saw it and appreciated it for what it was. And I...I saw you.” 

Castiel swallows. For all his suave confidence earlier, he looks oddly vulnerable now. “So, anyway. Yeah. For a year now. Um...” He glances at Dean’s easel. “I guess I’ll leave you alone now. Or if you want privacy, I can go.” 

“Or,” Dean says, the pink flush on Castiel’s cheeks giving him all the bravery he’ll ever need. “You could stay.” Castiel’s eyes slice to him, their blue intense and jaw-dropping. Dean grins, a little predatory, like they’re on even ground. 

“After all, I’m going to need a model for this sketch.” 

[padawanlost]

Is Anakin still the Chosen one in Legends? I’ve heard some legends fans say it was actually some dude named Revan who used both sides of the force (nevermind that that idea DIRECTLY contradicts what GL said) and that Palpatine returned anyway and that the Sith came back, so the prophecy about Anakin was bunk. 1)

2)If that’s true, then that’s the third SW thing Legends directly contradicted George Lucas on (1- GL said only the Jedi and light were good and the Sith and dark were bad; 2- Sith cannot become force ghosts), and if it's true that Legends ALSO ignore/reverses the chosen one prophecy, then I won’t bother getting into it. That’s be just as bad as Disney at that point

Rest easy, anon, because none of that is true.

Anakin has always been the CHOSEN ONE in the original canon. The lore actually takes time to explore the prophecy and how the role it plays. It was only Disney-related content that hinted at Anakin not being the chosen one.

What you will see is fandom theories and interpretations but that’s a whole other story.

“You have got to remember that this is one movie, and it’s meant to be seen I through VI. So, I think when you watch the actual movie in order, the story will become very clear: that Anakin is the Chosen One. And even when Anakin turns into Darth Vader, he is still the Chosen One.” - George Lucas

And, contrary to popular belief, George and his people did have a say in what was allowed in the EU and what wasn’t.

“Parallel universe’ suggests that each universe can go in separate directions which really isn’t the case with regard to the EU. The EU is bound by what is seen in the most current version of the films and by directives from George Lucas.” Leland Chee, 2005.

GL is certainly not bound by the EU, though he’s certainly open to using things created in it (Aayla Secura and the Coruscant name, for example). On the other hand, the quote you provide makes it sound like the EU is separate from George’s vision of the Star Wars universe. It is not.  The EU must follow certain tenets set by George through the films and other guidelines that he provides outside of the films. “-Leland Chee,  2005.

Lucas approves every important addition to the canon . The ambitious story beats contained in the new game The Force Unleashed were permitted only after he signed off—and spent hours talking to the developers about the relationship between Darth Vader and the Emperor.”- Leland Chee, 2008.

SO, no, the EU never could go totally off-script and change anything from movies, especially something as important to the plot as the chosen on prophecy.

I’m not gonna lie, there have been some crazy additions to the EU but, to be fair, that’s bond to happen when you have multiple authors writing from multiple characters for over 40 years. to be blunt, if you are looking for perfect continuity you won’t find it anywhere. Not in even the movies (*coughs* Leia remembering Padmé *coughs*).

Btw, none of those additions (like Palpatine’s clone) affects Anakin’s chosen one status because that’s not how the prophecy works. The prophecy only stated that the chosen one would bring balance. The Jedi interpreted balance as an absence of Sith but that doesn’t mean they were right. As Yoda says prophecies are tricky and people are biased.

Same goes for people using both sides of the force. It doesn’t actually contradicts anything because those stories were set in a different context. The Old Republic period was *very* different from the Prequel Era Republic, the same way things were different during the Empire. Considering the Jedi Order is over 25000 years old, that makes far more sense than nothing ever changing. So there’s a valid explanation for it, the Jedi order changed from how it was at the beginning and for a time they even allowed members to experiment with some powers they would ban for being ‘dark side’. It’s like the marriage thing. The fact Anakin couldn’t get married doesn’t negate the possibility of Jedi being allowed to marry 1000 years prior or of his children getting married 30 years later. Rules change. It’s worldbuilding.

What would be problematic was if some of those rules/additions did contradict movie canon but, fortunately, that’s not the case with the original canon. Yes, there have been some really crazy, borderline nonsensical, additions to the EU but nothing big, nothing that would directly contradict any of the major movie plot beats.

[dramaticbackstory]

I just walked out of a party at 2:30am cause this dude was interrogating my atheism and asking why rape is always bad if there is no God or Christian moral code. And then he segued into anti-government + anti-masking to make some point about how government over reach. So it was at that point that I realized my previous understanding of this person as a regular guy was totally naïve and that I was entertaining his arguments on the pretense that he had rational, humane thoughts or a rational, humane way of understanding. And I was being passive and tolerating it. But really, he was searching my every sentence for logical inconsistencies to prey on from his rotten perspective.

But I realized I was getting baited into a soul-sucking, dumbass argument and stood up to leave. And my friend asks “what’s going on?” And I just glanced back at the dude and then said to the party, “oh, we’re falling out” and picked up my shit to go.

Point being, I can leave at any time and establish boundaries for the next time so that hopefully I realize earlier in a similar situation. I don’t have to outwit or outargue this insipid drunk. So much of these extremely harmful beliefs exist under the pretense of tolerance, in which one party wants to maintain respect and understanding and the other has a false equivalency to respect and understanding with their manipulative, bulldozer ideology. Multiple times I iterated that I have no guiding ideology on these topics; I just learn or deduce that certain things are harmful and others aren’t, but he kept trying to place my ideas inside of a category of leftism or other isms I can’t remember because I’d never heard of them before. Like, no I don’t “believe” in X philosophy because an idea of mine happens to line up with its tenets, so no you can’t unseat my belief based on your prepared counter to X philosophy.

Ultimately, I chose to exit the situation without even a final word. He will probably take that for evidence of my intellectual failure, but it is evident that he had no actual respect for what I believed and I, to be honest, had none left for him. That is not an environment for dialogue, so there is nothing to be gained except showing him that I won’t tolerate what he believes.