#hi hello this is me painting a scene and yet still failing to actually describe a house

[eulcgizeme]

OPEN TO: @platiinums for nikia bellMUSE(S): knightley rhodes & rhodes burton. ft. lysander rhodes being a dick for .2 seconds. PLOT: the official rhodes-burton family introduction after lee indirectly popped a question to niki

Predictability is a blessing the Rhodes Burton family was not given but nature, but something nurtured into their structure by the eldest son. To hold every frayed edged taunt, even if knotting it together could make his own valiant noose, was the only way he could ensure the prosperity of his brothers— their survival, but he's never let himself dwell on the asperity of their reality. Their matriarch, Rhodes' namesake and the legacy her sons chose over their father after divorce, had been the root of their downfall before they were old enough to take on responsibility for their own faults. That is, if Rhodes ever let them. There's a shift tonight, an uneasiness Rhodes can't quite put the pieces together despite the way they all abide to routine. Not even 7 o'clock and the table is set with their mother's favorite china, Andy's hunger for antagonizing is somewhat satiated by the time he's arrived, and the calm comes with a thrilling after taste. It's only then that he notices Knightley, the youngest of entourage with an even stronger desperation for order, is missing. "Where's Lee?" He asked, but instead of a single concern for their missing piece, Celeste grins. She's holding excitement instead of crooked mania, and it's clear that there's a scheme he's been left out of. Its returned, concern glazed over before he inquires again. "What? Is he surprising us? Did something happen at the gallery?" "You'll see," She whispers, finger ruffling through the honey locks she's passed down to just two of her children. Halos she called them, which only spited Andy even more as the odd one out. If only he'd known she was more than her than the rest. She tilts her chin to the end of the table, placeholder for a fifth member finally given utensils to participate. A knock raps at the door gently as Knightley can't help but feel as though he needs to behave, string together every single manner as though he's imposing. He knows he's disrupting routine even if Niki has graced these halls more than once, but summer is over. The rest of the year belongs to the five of them, quiet and quaint for Celeste to challenge alone. "Sorry we're late!" Knightley's voice cracks through brief concern, relief settling over Rhodes. "We just got back from the city. You would think I've figured out how to gage traffic by this point, but you know how it is just getting out of the city. It's a nightmare. We also had to swing by the gallery here to drop off some pieces, and—" He's rambling, his own voice lost to a murmur as his mother greets him while his arm is around Niki's waist to hold her close. It's not as though she'll get lost, but rather taken for dissection. Her nods and rhythmic hums of agreement blend into every useless excuse because not a single person pays his mind. All eyes are on who he's brought with him. "Niki!" Celeste greets her first and catches her hands in her own, pink lips pressed to her knuckles. A smirk is given to her son that can't seem to piece together how to act. Despite standing tall, he can't catch the right words. "I hope you're hungry. This is nothing compared to those dreadful summer—" "She likes to make sure people starve at her soirees so the ones that don't matter are gone by 8," Andy chimes in, but he doesn't stand from his seat in the dining room. Inspection is done at a distance, calculation and laziness carefully construed for a hunter rarely given competition. "I can't tell if she's more excited Lee's brought a girl home, or someone might actually be impressed by something other than a cocktail." "Lysander." A hiss breaks through the excitement that nips at them as Celeste waves them down but as expected, her eldest is already at her side. Rhodes interrupts, hand clasped over his brother's shoulder as he takes the lead. Guilt as Lee can't seem to settle in creeps up on him, but it's mended quickly. "Sorry for being starstruck, I don't think we knew we'd have company tonight," He says, a nod to his brother. "We've got you at the head of the table if you don't mind."

[gujoonim]

The Boy Who Left  |  07

“You never thought it takes you five years to find those pair of eyes that you were looking for at the aisle on your wedding day. ”

◇ genre : angst // ceo au ◇ summary :  As your eyes staring deeply into your possible client-to-be’s eyes, something crossed your mind, it was that pair of eyes that you were looking for when you being abandoned at the aisle on your wedding day. ◇ pairing : jungkook x reader ◇ words : 4.6k

previous| next 》

The night wind blowing faintly as it caresses your cheek that is flushing in the colour of rosy pink. You look at him full of melancholy as your heart is touched with his action. You had witnessed how a Jungkook who often think about himself rather than other people, now becoming someone which is more humble and always being respectful to other despite their age.

He is totally different from the Jungkook that you used to know before. He’s different now.

Your sister’s words keep lingering in your head as if a broken radio. After you had been standing for a long time in front of his house, witnessing a few emotional scenes between a father and a son somehow you find that your sister’s words make sense.

Why Jungkook willingly to sacrifice his life in order to provide a better life for your family who isn’t blood-related with him.

When you make an eye contact with him, you feel like a spark burst in your body, something that lightens up your spirit at that moment. His eyes fill with affection looking straight at you. The rays of confusion and worries seen on are the face when he saw you, confuse of your presence there and worry that you are still outside of the house. Yet, you can only mouth for him to get down.

He nods as if he understands your request before his figure disappears from there. Then, you shift your gaze from the balcony towards the main door of his house as your heart full with hope; hoping that he arrived there as soon as he can. So that you can achieve your main motive of being there.

“Y/n.” A soft yet audible voice that resonates into your heart and you instantly shot your head up. As you are of his presence there, you hurtling towards him before engulfing him into a hug.

He looks surprised over your action as he seems to` freeze on to the ground and not uttering a word at all. Instead, you are the one break the silence, seeking for his forgiveness.

“I’m so sorry and thank you, Jeon Jungkook. Thank you so much.” You say while embracing his waist.

“What for?” He dumbfounded but he stroke his hands against your back so that he could soothe your feelings.

You loosen your embrace before lift up your head to face him. You stare into his flickering doe eyes that fill with shimmer. “Sorry for not giving you a chance to explain all of this. Sorry for fully believing in Mina and accuse you with those ridiculous accusations.”

You bit your lips, prevent yourself from crying in front of him before you could gather all your strength to continue your talk. “Thanks for saving my family from poverty. But why you had to sacrifice your family business for ours, Jungkook?”

He startles with your question as his forehead began to crease. “How do you know about this?” He asks as curiosity starts to boil.

You instantly reply to him, “Youngae, she told me everything. Why, Jungkook?”

He chuckles while diverting his eyes on the ground. His lip curls a smile, which you don’t even know what the reason behind those smile is.

“All the things that I sacrificed wasn’t enough to compare with all the pain that I put you through. You deserve more than that.” He claims with a serious tone beneath his words as his eyes gazing straight into yours. As if he wants to convey his feeling at that time.

“Why you are still with Mina?” A question that suddenly comes out of your mouth without you noticing and once you are, it is already too late. You don’t know how you could blurt out that question to him but you know that this question isn’t from your mind, but it came from your heart. The heart that eager to know the status of Mina in his heart. So what you do now is waiting for an answer from him.

“I had to.”

A tear escapes from your eyes, flowing down to your cheeks as soon you heard the awaiting answer.

*

“Hello?” The voices unison calling for the residents of the house from the main gate. There, Jeon’s family waiting for a permission from the owner to enter the front yard.

Your smile grows bigger as you see the family already arrived and you give a hand gesture for them to enter. As soon as they enter, your parent seems so happy seeing them as they embrace each other in a hug.

It’s been a while since your family and his family gathered like this. Tonight, your mother suggests having a small party of celebration to welcome your sister’s return from States as well as yours. As your mother doesn’t want this celebration to be slightly gloomy so she invited Mrs Jeon and her family to celebrate together.

You paint a smile on your lips as you observing each one of them. Mrs Jeon who already start to chat with your mother, Mr Jeon standing by your father with a walking stick, Junghyun who just arrives here and Jungkook who is nowhere to be seen. You look around, to find the familiar figure but fail.

“Where’s Jungkook?” You blurt out as everyone turn their head towards you, simultaneously. Confusion and shock that clearly shown on their face are enough to describe the question that lingering on their head.

You chuckle before informing them about you and Jungkook. “We are already in good terms.”

They hum in response before Junghyun took a chance, to tell the truth.

“We thought it was the best for him not to be here but it seems not at this moment.” You throw a reassuring smile before walk out from the yard to search for him.

Both of you and his parents gazing at you lovingly as they shed their tears in disbelief of you finally rekindle your relationship with Jungkook. Something that they wished for a long time.

The moment you step out from the yard, you catch a glance of a familiar figure, leaning against a car while staring at the sky. The moonlight shone on his face and he looks like an angel in disguise.

He is so beautiful and the sight of him makes your heart to tremble in the ribcage as the feeling of love pouring out from your heart. You can give him whatever to be wear for him to look nice yet him being himself was enough for you to keep loving him.

“How far have you reach? Is it States?” Hearing your voice at sudden making him swing his head around to face you, who already took a seat next to him.

A breathily laugh leave his lips whilst he diverting his stare and his action is enough to make your heart thudding in excitement. But you manage to hide your feelings with the blank expression on your face.

“Why not you come in?” You purposely ask him something that you already know the answer. But you really want to hear his voice, breaking the silence of the night.

He sighs before responding to you. “My mom won’t allowed me to do so-“ He trailed off while running his finger along his fluffy and smooth hair.

“-because she does not want to start a chaos due to my presence there.” He answers with the disappointed tone hidden in his sentence while glueing his eyes on his feet

“Until now, you still the same Jungkook that won’t say no to his mother. This trait of yours makes me admire you despite your ignorant behaviour.” He misinterpreted your compliments as he looks at you while raising his eyebrow questioningly.

When you notice his expression, you stifle a laugh and correct your hanging sentence. “Back then.”

Then, a laugh erupts from him follows yours before suddenly silence engulfing both of you.

“Mina is so lucky to get you as her fiancée.” You conclude the conversation since you have nothing to initiate another conversation. Only the silence of the night response to your statement.

“It’s kind of arranged marriage actually.” Jungkook fidgeting his fingers after a few seconds of silence lingering both of you.

“But the feelings are mutual.” You simply state.

“But-” You cut off his words without giving chance to confirm or deny your statement.

“Jungkook, can you just once do what you want to do instead of doing what others want you to.” You giving him an advice as you stare at the sky, enjoying the night view of the sky, the shimmery star lightens up and decorating the dull sky.

The scenery reminisces you to your past; your almost-happened wedding. Then, you tilt your head to have a full view of him before continues your words.

“You should tell your mom about your disagreement of our arranged marriage back then rather than asking for me who don’t have guts to deny my parent’s request.”

“No.” Jungkook cuts off and makes you slightly startle and quickly look at him.

“Why?” Your reply in curiosity.

“Because living with you seems nice and maybe we might become the best friend or even have kids now.” He throws you a genuine smile. A smile that assures you a brighter future ahead if the wedding doesn’t cancel.

*

As the day passes, you and Jungkook getting closer. When the office time is over, both of you will have a meal together. Sometimes, you will hang out with him once in a week, whether having a coffee in a café or strolling in the park around Seoul. But most of the time you will return to your parent’s home with him, spending time together with your and his family and sometimes alone with him.

You can’t deny the fact this day, you become more cheerful compared to before as his presence stays around you. He always brightens up your gloomy day, sharing opinions regarding works, lending his ears to hear your problem and sometimes finding a way to solve it. This moment happens in such a short time yet it would be the best memories of being with him that you ever felt.

You almost unaware of how fast the time flies and till now, the last day for both of you to work on the proposal together before the project finally being launch. So that, Jungkook suggests to have a dinner together for the last time and based on his suggestion, both of you will have a dinner in your favourite place, a seafood restaurant.

After two hours of eating and chatting with each other, both of you finally on your way back home.

“I’m so full. Thanks for the treat, bud.” You express your gratitude through your actions by patting his back for several times. He replies to you with a forceful smile and from that, you know there’s something wrong with him.

Since both of you left the restaurant, he seems in his own world, keep himself in silence despite him being the lousy one in the restaurant. You stop your track and spare a glance at him who seems faking rays of happiness on his face.

“Are you okay?” You simply ask.

A sigh escapes from him as he wistfully closes his eyes before gathering his strength to speak out. “I’m sad because it will be the last day of us working together because I don’t know whether after-“

You quickly dismiss his sentence as you don’t want him to stay thinking like that. “No. We will still meet each other at our parents’ house. Don’t worry cause I’m going back home every week.”

You wink before start to walk back. “After all, there’s no difference if I’m not by your side. Well, I’m just a friend. Not like Mina.” You mentally slap yourself for blurting out her name because now you seem like a girl who is jealous of his crush’s girlfriend and it seems like too much. So you pretending like you never say out her name and you quickly fasten your step.

Yet, your voice is loud enough for him to clearly hear the full sentence and when he clears his throat to speak, you know that he heard it.

“But it’s different. The feelings are different between you and Mina.” He adds and that makes you be interested in initiating this topic for a deeper conversation.

“What’s the difference? You love Mina and she is too.”

Silence follows after your words as if he tries to find the right word to reply to you. In another hand, his silence makes you slightly frustrated because you do want to hear his response as soon as possible.

He scoffs, before responding to you. “I thought so but I was completely wrong until that day.” He lifts up his face, staring into your eyes while conveying his feelings not only using words but also through his eyes.

“When the feelings that I have been denying for a long time finally reveal itself and since that day, I know I always love her after all these days. I never thought someone that I hated so much would become someone that I’m really afraid to lose. But when she’s gone, it felt like I lost my world. I lost the source of my life, someone that keeps me alive”

The rays of hopes radiate from his eyes as if he wants to show you something. You act like nothing and don’t even know who the hell he is talking about even though silently hope that it was you. Yet, you don’t want to have a false hope on that. Hoping for uncertain things is more hurtful and it’s better for you to pretend.

“Why don’t you tell her about your feelings? Who knows she will accept it?” You suggest pretending that you are uninterested in this topic as you keep tossing your feet on the ground, brushing the sand along the way.

He chuckled, “She won’t. I have hurt her and put her life in vain. She won’t even listen to me but I’m glad that at least she finally agreed to have a good term.”

You stun over his words. All of it leads to you. Every single thing that he said somehow seems relates to you but you don’t want to be eager over words so you decide to cut off this topic.

“So it’s already late at night and I need to go now. Thank you for all of these time. I’m sorry if I ever hurt you with my words or action during these time. Once again, I’m really looking forward to the next project to collaborate with you. Goodbye for now.”

You step away as soon as you utter those words without giving him a chance to speak. Every step that you make feel heavy and glued to the ground as if it doesn’t allow you to go. The surrounding air began to suffocate you as you could not find another way to ease the heaviness in your heart.

“It will always be you, from the beginning till now.”

The sentence that comes out from his mouth, makes you stop in tracks and froze at your current position. The stinging feeling began to creep into your heart as it is trembling in a rapid pace inside the ribcage once you hear his confession. It begins to mess with your mind as your mind is battling with your feelings right now; whether you should stay or you act like you hear nothing.

Even your feelings want you to stay yet you action acts opposite. Slowly you walk away from there as tear begin to pool up in your eyes.

Jungkook who see you walking away, heaving a long and deep sigh before curling a smile with a sign of bitterness in it. Maybe all the time of him being with you wasn’t enough to make you come back to him, he thought. So he strides away as he can’t stand of the sorrow that he feels at this moment of time.

“Put aside other things and think about your feelings. Think about what you want.”

Jennie’s words keep replaying on your mind and make you become hesitate. After all this time, your mind controlling you and you keep denying your feelings in order to satisfy your mind’s need.

A lot of scarification that you had made for the past few years and you deserve to receive the rewards. You deserve to be happy and it’s been a long time since you have been waiting for it. Maybe this is the time when God wants to accept your prayers. And now you just need to choose between to walk away or to turn back.

You have made your mind. Your feet stop from walking forwards and you whirl your body around, to see Jungkook already walking further away from you.

Now or never.

The sounds of footstep running along the way and you being the one who did it. You fasten your pace and quickly grasp your fingers around his wrist before turning him around to face you. You gasp for air while staring into his eyes. Jungkook looks quite surprised yet he is more surprises with your unexpected action.

You pull him into a kiss. At first, he was stunned as your lips touch him but after a few seconds, he starts to respond to yours. Their breath is knocked out of both of them with the force that they collide with. Your hand grip the back of his shirt, pulling and holding him close to you. His fingers trail on your cheeks as he cups it pulling you into a deeper kiss. Both of you neglect the surrounding as the world seeming to disappear around them.

A first kiss that you ever had with him and it feels so nice. The world right now seems right and all the heaviness in your chest vanish.

You pull away from the kiss yet still leaning your forehead to him as if you will initiate another kiss again. Taking a deep breath before you muttering a sentence.

“I always love you, Jungkook.”

*

The quiet environment of the room accompanies you who just wake up from your deep sleep. Your eyes flick to the person lying next to you. Half of his body buries on the bed and only reveal his side profile. You gaze at him lovingly, observing every inch of his face. From his dishevelled hair down to his eyes that is wistfully close. Your eyes travel down from the bridge of his nose to his chapped lip.

Those lips that you really want to kiss once again. You mind pull you back to the scene, unforgettable scene. The kiss that both of you share resulting in you, lying next to Jungkook on your bed. You rub your eyes as you still can’t believe with his presence there.

Something that you had dreamed before and might happened in reality if you get married to him as you can always go through this moment every time you wake up from sleep.

You use this time to observe him from a close proximity. You have never been so close to him as now. And your heart race at the thought of him expresses his love towards your through words and actions last night.

“This is must be a dream.” You mumble to yourself as you began to shake off your head.

“It is too real to be a dream, Y/n.” His deep alluring voice croak, startle you as you quickly diverting your gaze onto him, who is looking at you with a grin plasters on his face.

“It seems like one.” You comment before you let him engulf you into an embrace. He buries his face on your hair, taking a whiff of your scent. He gives you a kiss on your forehead before trail down to your nose and lastly giving a peck on your lip. A smile tugs on your lips as he did that.

“I love you, Y/n. I really do.” He confesses once again and it makes your heart fluttering all over your body. You tighten your embrace and whilst you enjoying that moment, something click on your mind as it makes your eyes to widen as big as it can.

Shit! I’m a homewrecker now.

*

“Mrs Jeon involved in an accident just now.”

The sudden call from your mother informing you about Mrs Jeon drive you to the hospital which she is being admitted now. After confirming the location of her ward with the nurse downstairs, you quickly find your way to meet your parents who are waiting for you there.

You don’t like sports but today, you have run as if you are competing in a marathon. Your breath hitches as you trying to gasp for air and once you saw the sight of your mother there, you slow the pace.

Your mother seems like crying as her eyes still in bloodshot red and her cheeks stained with tears. You want to greet your mother but before you could do that, a string force pulling you forward and that action make you surprise on the spot. But after you find out, it was Jungkook, you just let him do that.

He buries his face on your shoulder and the vibration from his body indicates that he is crying. His embrace suddenly tightens and you really want to soothe him. Slowly you rub your palms against his back while assuring him with moral support.

As you doing that, your eyes catch a glance at a figure with a stoic expression on her face who is glaring at you. In a sudden, the air around you turn colder than usual and you slowly loosen your embrace and averting your eyes away from her.

Deep in your heart, you feel slightly scared; scared that you would be the one who will admit in this hospital.

*

Jungkook’s condition is unpredictable. He keeps blaming himself for the things that happen to his mother. You don’t want him to be sad for a long time, you decided to accompany him for a night until his mother is finally in a stable condition.

Mina has to go back home as she has something to be done in urgent and luckily for you because you won’t dare to accompany Jungkook if she’s there.

You wake up from your sleep as the alarm blasting through your ears yet Jungkook still soundly sleeping. So you come off from the bed and decide to make a breakfast for both of you and him before you guys go to visit his mother. Last night, your mother already informed you about Mrs Jeon already passed the critical condition and now she only can get a visitor from family.

As you cooking the fried rice, the continuous beep sounds come from your phone attracting your attention towards it. You wipe your hand before grabbing the phone in the oven.

 [ unknown 8:36 a.m ]

-u think u can win over me -stay away from him, bitch! -im pregnant his child rn

 The contents of the short message give you a great and long-time impact. Mina is pregnant with his child and you are now trying to separate a child from the father.

An arms snake around your waist, pulling you backwards before nuzzling his nose at the crook of your neck. You love whenever he did this but at this time of moment everything seems wrong and you can’t help from hating yourself.

“What’s wrong babe?” He asks in confusion as you flinch when he touches you.

“This is so wrong, Jungkook.” You stop talking, before whirl around to face him. You release his hug from your waist and stare into his eyes as deeply as you can.

You continue back, “You shouldn’t cheat on Mina and I don’t want to be a home wrecker.”

“I will leave her for you.” He simply said, taking a step forward. You let out a scoff, disbelief over his words. Does he think everything is simple as he said? He can do that but not right not and you don’t want to be the cause of their separation.

“It’s not as easy as you think.” You began to pull off the apron and walking out from the kitchen towards the living room.

“Where are you going, babe?”

“Away from here.” He strides across towards you who already grabbing your bag, ready to leave him, once again. But he manages to grip your wrist, preventing you from stepping away from there.

“No! You can’t leave me, baby. I love you so much. I promise that I will leave-” Before he could even finish his word, you shriek, letting out the truth of why you behaving like that.

“You can’t cause she’s already pregnant your child.”  He releases his grip around your wrist as he seems so surprised by your words. The mist begins to form in your eyes.

“Wh-what? I- I do- I don’t know.” He stutters and you take a step forward, grasping his hand firmly as you pull him towards you.

“I love you too but fate isn’t with us and we are not destiny to be together. Go to her.” You state, hoping that for once he would accept this kind of fate.

His eyes watery, looking into your with the rays of hope. “You are my source of happiness. I can’t live without my sun, my moon, my everything, Y/n.”

He pleads as he tightens his grasp. “Please, don’t go.”

You prevent yourself from crying but biting your inner cheeks firmly. Slowly you let go of your grasp around his hand before walk out from the house

“I’m sorry but I can’t let an innocent child lost his father because of my selfishness.” You finish your words, take a last glance of him. A scene that you will remember forever,

Once you push the doorknob to close the door, the high-pitch and loud sound of screaming can be heard from the inside. You who still standing outside, covering your mouth so you’re your cries won’t be heard by him.

As usual, fate isn’t on your side.

*

After a few days since that incident, the news of Mina’s pregnancy had spread among your family and his. You keep avoiding from meeting with him. You lessen your visit to your parent’s house and sometimes go back whenever he isn’t there. You have blocked his number and urges Jennie from giving him your new number. He keeps coming to your office and your house but you act like you aren’t there.

His pleads that you keep hearing from the outside of your house, sometimes when he’s drunk and sometimes when he’s completely sober. It’s so disheartening for you to see him like that but you can’t do anything else.

But as a week passes, he stops from behaving like that and it makes you wonder of his sudden absence. Your confusion is finally being answered as you open up your mailbox to receive a piece of a wedding invitation.

And Jeon Jungkook and Mina’s name clearly stated on the card.

Nothing is more painful than witnessing your long-time love marrying someone else which is not you. You plaster a smile, a forceful one. You pretend like you doesn’t care about it as you could be happy for him after receiving the news. But, you can’t fool your own heart. When you notice the invitation card is attached to a piece of an envelope and your eyes catch the words written on it.

To you- the only person I will ever love

You open up the envelope before taking out a letter inside it. You straightly recognise his handwriting as soon your eyes lay on the letter. Tears fell down your cheeks after reading the first sentence of the letter.

Dear Y/n. You are my treasure- the most precious thing in my life.

◇ author notes :  two more chapter left and i can’t wait to write the final ~! a a major editing will be done once this series is over. anyways, thank for reading and for the feedback. lots of love, liz xoxo

[pomegranate-salad]

Seeds of thoughts : Wicdiv #36

Hello everyone ! Sorry for the lack of SOT last month. What happened was… I didn’t know what to say about the issue that hadn’t already been said. Sorry. Happens to the best of us. Anyway, we’re back with an issue that’s practically begging to be analysed, so that’s good. And just a reminder, if you’d like to help me not be broke, you can make a small donation here.

Thoughts and spoilers under the cut, you know the drill.

THROUGH METICULOUS ANALYSIS OF HISTORY

 As expected of our wonderful fandom, some of my fellow bloggers (hi, @twatd and @myfirstsearchengine) have already started doing god’s work and untangle the absolute deluge of information we get in this issue. Bless their souls. But for me as always, especially when it comes to formalist devices, I find myself more interested in how things feel than what they say. That doesn’t mean we should bypass the analysis of the construction to get directly to a resulting, all-encompassing feel of the issue (otherwise, what would be the point of these posts ?) but I think it’s always a good start, especially with information-rich issues like this, to wonder what may be the big picture that’s so painstakingly painted through this abundance of individual elements.

So, how do we emerge from this issue ? Of course, everyone’s feel will be different here, but I think one popular realization will be just how fucking long six millennia actually is. On first read, as I flipped through the first half of the issue with increasing speed, I kept reading dates so far away from anything I could conceptualize they meant nothing to me until we thankfully reached the Anno Domini part of the program and I regained footing in time. Add to that the fact that I would be unable to point on a map to a good dozen of the places mentioned and you get… a recipe for emotional detachment. Of course, one of the joys of this issue is to go back and pick out the multiple details hidden in each panel, to cheer every time Persephone retaliates, to unravel patterns, to marvel at the outfit design and background changes, all these elements that actually allow us to connect with what’s going on. But as always, the interface between a reader and an issue is its whole and not a sum of its parts. Our emotions express themselves faster than our thoughts, meaning when we go back to identifying those parts, our connexion to the issue is already formed. As it happens, this connexion is to a gallery of nameless, often headless figures that have nothing in common if not for the pattern they’re repeating, and not to the individuals that form this pattern. A state of mind that’s probably very similar to the one Ananke entertains during all those recurrences.  A state of mind she HAS to keep in order to maintain her own pattern.

 Is the message this repetition has to impart us just that, a form of numbness to these killings, the taste of an endless battle and the suspected pointlessness of it all ? I think there’s a bit more going on here. Let’s try to connect the first half of the book with the second one. A priori, they seem disconnected. But the fact that Mothering Invention’s device seems to be the juxtaposition of past and present storylines means the creators are trying to establish some sort of echo between the two. In issue #34, the creation of the head sacrifice is paired with its discovery by the main characters in present time. Issue #35 is a study of two Minervas, and the circle of plotting and murder they’re trapped in. Issue #36 is the study of two monsters.

Is the wheel page in the middle of the issue describing Ananke or Baal ? The ambiguity is definitely not accidental. And if the construction of the two halves seem to be complete opposite, that probably not a coincidence either. The most obvious mirroring are the red pages, an entire page for a death, compared to the first half which crams six or more deaths per page. But really, that’s just the beginning of the parallels. The first half is made of a regular grids of small panels in which you can barely distinguish faces, while panel disposition in the second half is as irregular as they come, but focus on large, detailed panels, with Baal’s figure in particular blown out and dominating each page. The first half is all variety of colours and tones, while the second one is painted in an overpowering red. In the vast majority of panels, Ananke is depicted from the side, entirely focused on her task, while Baal is always facing the reader, sometimes almost as if he was addressing us directly instead of Persephone. But the most textual opposition is of course how much justification and explanation there is on Baal’s part, while Ananke, past the first page, doesn’t say a word. In his first apparition, Baal is even doing the Hamlet routine of holding a skull before starting his monologue. These two characters seem like they couldn’t be more different, yet the comic links them through this middle wheel page. Baal is all justification and self-aggrandizing, Ananke seems content with her selfish motivation. Baal gives an entire page to the weight of taking each life, while Ananke rarely expresses anything. Which is better ? It doesn’t matter, I think is the takeaway here : they’re both killers. And if you peel off the surface, they’re both exactly as selfish, cruel and inexcusable.

 This doesn’t say great things about Baal. But I don’t think it says great things about Ananke either. Baal is arguably being manipulated into killing – does anyone buy the reality of the Great Darkness at this point ? – and is not nearly as jaded as Ananke is after six millennia. Is the only thing separating them time and experience ? If we come back to this first half, many people have noticed that Ananke seems to be consolidating some techniques and get more efficient overtime. But is that really true ? I’ve pulled the numbers : in the first third of her career, Ananke screws up about 13% of the time ; in the second third, 18% ; and in the last third, 9%. Those are remarkably similar odds. Can we even say she’s getting better at this ? Even if that’s true, the present recurrence seems to demonstrate that she’s never safe from a major setback. Nothing separates her from junior murderer Baal. She would have Minerva – and so, herself – believe that it will always be okay. That she’ll always win, in the end, even when she fails. But that’s simply not true. When she’ll fail for good, she’ll be done, just like Baal. And then these millennia of deaths, hers and Persephone’s, will mean nothing.

 It’s remarkable that both Ananke and the comic would have us looking for more than there is in this litany of murders ; dumping truckloads of apparent information on us and inviting us to raid them for parts. And there is a part of me that definitely wants to do that. Because information and particularity gives meaning, it hints at more explanations, as a way to make sense of it all. But deep down I know that there will never be enough meaning in those panels for me to be satisfied.

Through this issue, it’s as if the comic is pulling all the stops on itself : it doesn’t matter how much it goes back in time and gives us fragments of this “big mystery” it’s set over the course of the previous arcs. Because it can give us everything, every recurrence there ever was, and all those murders will never mean more than what they are : murders. It doesn’t matter if it’s your first, your tenth or your sixty-fifth. It doesn’t matter if it takes you a whole empty page or get crammed into one-sixth of one. It’s still murder and you are still a murderer. And when you fuck up, everyone will cheer. And if you know it, that doesn’t make you nobler or more experienced, it just makes you an even bigger asshole.

I said one thing about this issue was how much it gives us ; yet, at the same time, it’s the comic’s admission that it gives us nothing, or at the very least not what we’d really want, because it doesn’t exist. What we see is all there is. The only thing separating Baal from Ananke is that they are fooling themselves in a different way. And again, there’s a part of me that’d really want to fool myself with them. With almost ten issues of Wicdiv remaining, I feel bad for giving it an early conclusion, but here it is : whatever is “really” going on, whatever the bottom line is, it doesn’t matter and never has. All there ever was is a desperately, cruelly simple tale of scared people. It doesn’t make them excusable. But it certainly makes them human.

  WHAT I THOUGHT OF THE ISSUE

 As I said, this issue stands out by how rich and poor in content it simultaneously is. As is often true of high concept issues, in terms of analysis, it immediately gives you something to discuss, but it doesn’t necessarily give you much more than what you first saw. What’s good about this issue is also what limits it, and makes it a nice, but also kind of one-note experience. As such, it compares unfavourably to other highly formalist issues like issues #14, #23 and especially #27, all of which were more evenly structured and solid in concept. I almost wish this issue had taken its premise further, and given us a cover-to-cover wall of Persephones. The parallel with the Baal scene is thematically rich, but it does give the feeling that the main storyline is stumping a little bit, and that the main reason we’re getting all those flashbacks is to artificially lengthen the comic.

That said, I’m not particularly disappointed by this issue either. It always takes a Wicdiv arc a bit of time to find its footing, and with the high concept flashback out of the way, the rest of the arc should set about its cruising speed. Plus, you can absolutely feel the amount of work that went into those pages, and while the result should be able to stand on its own, I really don’t feel like badgering on what was clearly hell on earth to build. Yes, it’s a borderline masturbatory nerdfest that saw the point of diminishing returns and blew it at full speed while laughing maniacally, but I think we can allow at least one of those in the Wicdiv run. It’s the kind of issue that I don’t see myself forming a strong attachment to, but I’m still glad it exists. And for what I’ve seen, aside from isolated opinions, that seems to be the general wisdom.

 So let’s turn to the one part of the issue that DID attract the wrath of the Tumblrdom : Laura’s pregnancy. Boy, did you kick the hornet’s nest with this one, guys. I find it funny that as the fandom’s resident grump, the first big outcry we get about the Wicdiv run is one in which I find myself standing firmly with the creators. And since it seems I’m kind of alone on this one, allow me to make the case that as a story development, Laura’s pregnancy is… OKAY.

 Let me first be clear : I’m not saying I’m happy with this development. Until we get the full picture of how it’s been handled, I’ll really have no opinion on the matter. What I do believe is that at this point, there is no reason to condemn Laura’s pregnancy as an inherently wrong move for the comic. I absolutely get why there was such a knee-jerk reaction from the fandom : it’s so, so very rare for a pregnancy storyline to be well done, to say nothing of a teen pregnancy storyline. For every one of us, the very mention of peeing on a stick is enough to bring back to mind dozens of female characters ruined by such a creative decision. So I get why people are being cautious ; I am too. But on the other hand, I find it really premature to set ourselves for outrage and disappointment.

From what I can tell, a lot of “oh HELL NO” reactions are rooted in the belief that this twist diminishes Laura’s characterization and strips her of agency. But personally, I see this development as completely in line with her character as previously established, and I don’t think she’s less of a subject for it.

For a start, we have to consider how much has been going in Laura’s life aside from her pregnancy. We don’t know how long she’s known about it, but reasonably it should have been around the end of January. She did a LOT of shit in-between, and none of it played as a direct consequence of her being pregnant. The way she describes her state is almost tangential, a Colombo-esque “oh, and one more thing”. Rereading her actions in light of her pregnancy doesn’t mean we should interpret it all as revolving around it ; if we do that, we are the ones stripping her of agency.

@immoralitea made another interesting argument : that the pregnancy was cheap cope-out to Laura’s suicidal behaviour by giving her a reason to live, thus derailing her entire battle with depression that’s been established as key to her character ever since the first act. That’s a compelling point, but I read Laura’s pregnancy completely differently : as another profoundly self-destructive behaviour. And I don’t know if that’s controversial to say, but in my opinion many storylines would benefit from addressing head-on how much self-destructive tendencies are a component of teen pregnancy. Pregnancy will put your body through the grinder, alter the course of your life, and alienate you from many people. And that’s if you’re lucky. If you aren’t, it’s also going to saddle you with an abusive partner or make you dependent on exterior resources for many more years. The last thing to get you through a depression is pregnancy. Of course all of this would be moot if the author didn’t realize it, but I think he does : nothing in Laura’s behaviour indicates she’s willing to change it for the sake of her potential child. On the contrary, she’s endangering it and herself by engaging in more self-destructive behaviour. That’s also why I think the “some of you will hate me for it too” line that also got some readers upset shouldn’t be read as the author’s opinion that Laura is to be shamed for her pregnancy ; for me, it reads as Laura’s opinion about a behaviour she sees for what it is : another way to destroy and hate herself. And just like she said before, she wants people to hate her ; it validates her suicidal behaviour. She’s doing everything she can so we will hate her, including getting pregnant.

Another clue in that direction is the way she discloses her state to Baal : when she says she “wants to live” it isn’t because she’s pregnant, but because every person battling with depression is torn between compulsions of life and death. And I may be mistaken, but I don’t think she wished to reveal her pregnancy to Baal at all ; I think she’s simply appealing to his “man of the house” self-image in order to be spared. From beginning to end, this is about her. Hell, she still has over two months to decide if she wants the baby at all.

Now I’m not going to lie, I’m not a fan of the over-symbolism of the goddess of death and rebirth being both suicidal and pregnant. And yes, if you ask me, I’d much rather have Laura get an abortion, because I don’t see how carrying her pregnancy to terms would benefit her in any way. But if Laura’s previous characterization taught us something, it’s that characters in Wicdiv rarely do what we want them to do and what’s objectively better for them. The gods have made the wrong decisions on drugs, cheating, dating, killing, trusting, overworking, and everything else under the sun, and we went with it, even if we weren’t happy about it. As I see it, pregnancy shouldn’t be over the line just because so many hacks have poisoned the well.

Again, maybe this storyline will develop for the worst and all I’ve said here will read as ridiculous wishful thinking in hindsight. But as of now, this plot development is simply this : a plot development, one that’s believable, in character, potentially interesting, and I think we should give it a chance. And if I end up being wrong… I promise I’ll write the mother of all takedowns.

[ecotone99]

(SF) She'll Never Tell

*Short Story I wrote in High School from a writing prompt. Prompt was pick a song title and write a story about it. Song was She'll Never Tell by The Daylights. Story doesn't have anything to do with the actual song. Going through old stories I wrote to try and get back into it. Figured I would share. *

"Today was a fairly depressing day," thought Detective Matthews. The sky was a very dark grey color but it hadn't started raining yet. Det. Matthews was a fairly tall man wearing a black suit. The suit was neatly pressed and was always dry cleaned by the same guy as to ensure perfection. He was walking down the street on his way to the 24th precinct downtown. He was on his way there for a job. Det. Matthews was an official government interrogator who occasionally got called in to do jobs for the police who were in way to over their heads with some cases. Today he was going to deal with a rather brutal case. He hadn't heard all the details yet but was expecting the officer that was there to tell him more. Matthews' black briefcase was swinging back and forwards in his left hand with each step he took. Matthews was always very confident going into a job. In his twenty years of doing this he never failed to get an answer to his questions. 'She'll never tell," thats what Matthews was told when they contacted him for the job. "Oh, she'll talk alright," whispered Matthews to himself with a sly smirk on his face. The precinct was now coming into view and Matthews observed as several people entered and exited the building. Det. Matthews liked to take accurate details of everywhere he was going or any building he was in. Standing by one of the exits of the precinct was the officer that had contacted him. Det. Matthews watched as the officer raised his right hand and took a drag on his cigarette. The officers name was Alan Reed. Det. Matthews had checked his records and found out that Officer Reed had been an officer at the 24th precinct for twelve years. In those twelve years Officer Reed had made at least 270 arrests and was the leading investigator on at least four of the biggest drug busts done in the city. Reed had begun as a patrolman and was now one of the top homocide officers in the city. Detective Matthews was now making his way up the steps to meet Officer Reed. "Detective Matthews?" asked Officer Reed as Matthews began to get closer. "Officer Reed I presume?" asked Matthews as he extended his free hand to give Officer Reed a handshake. "Welcome to the 24th precinct, do you want to go inside now?" asked Officer Reed as he gave Matthews a firm handshake. "After you," responded Matthews. Officer Reed then tossed his cigarette on the step in front of him and stepped on it. "I'll tell you more about the case once we're in the interrogation room, we want to try and keep this one under wraps," explained Officer Reed as he opened on of the doors for Det. Matthews. "Wouldn't have it any other way," replied Matthews as he entered the lobby area of the precinct. The lobby was fairly large. There were plenty of people standing around in the lobby. Some people in handcuffs, others talking to people at booths. "Hello Rachel, could I grab a visitors badge for Mr. Matthews over here please?" asked Officer Reed as he approached the main lobby desk. A pretty blond woman was sitting behind the desk. In behind the desk was a door labelled Office. On both sides of the lobby was a stairway leading up to the walkway that was above the desk. There were two other doorwars leading into seperate rooms at the bottom of the stairways. On the left side the door was labelled holding cells, and on the right side of the lobby the door was labelled Storage. Matthews could see that there were three doors up on the upper area as well. "Matthews?" asked Officer Reed once he noticed Det. Matthews was kind of day dreaming. "Oh sorry, I was just observing the lobby area," replied Matthews. "That's fine, heres your visitors badge, the interrogation rooms are just upstairs on the left," explained Reed as he handed Matthews the badge. Matthews then clipped the badge onto the pocket on his suit jacket. Reed then began walking towards the stairway on the left and began walking up with Det. Matthews following after him. At the top of the stairs was a door that was labelled Offices. Officer Reed then entered that door and Matthews followed shortly after. Inside the offices, people in suits were scrambling around the room with paperwork and others were talking on the phone. The only word to perfectly describe it was chaos. Reed then pointed towards a hallway to the right of the room. Then he began making his way down the hallway. At the end of the hallway was another door that was labelled Interrogation Rooms. as Reed and Matthews entered the Interrogation rooms and the door closed behind them the noise of the chaos in the other room immediately stopped. This section of the building was slightly darker then the other rooms. In the room was a table sitting in front of a large window. On the table was a few folders with a bunch of papers in them. The two of them approached the table. "So, I'm assuming you remember what I told you correct?" asked Reed as he opened the folder. "I do, is that the witness?" asked Matthews as he looked through the window. Inside was the interrogation room. There wasn't much in the room. Just a table, three chairs and some blank papers. Sitting in one of the chairs was a fairly young looking woman with a very vacant look on her face. She had fairly dark bags under her eyes and there was a few blood splotches on her cheek and her shirt was covered in blood splatter. 'That would be Melissa Coven. She's been like that the whole time. She hasn't slept yet either," expained Reed. "You guys didn't give her a change of clothes?" asked Matthews. "We did, but she wouldn't accept them. All she does is repeat the same thing over and over again while staring at that same spot," replied Reed. "Alright, well let's see the file," said Matthews as he turned his attention to Reed again. "As I said, the witness' name is Melissa Coven. She's twenty four years old and her and the victim worked together at the Starbucks. Apparently they were fairly good friends. The murder happened out back behind the Starbucks. The victims name was Derek Lee. He was a twenty five year old male. Victim and witness were both found in the back alley by another co-worker. The co-worker said that Melissa was cowering against the wall with the same blank look on her face. Victim was found against the opposite wall with what appeared to be a sword wound. Looks like it was on single cut so the murderer would have to be fairly big, or very strong. The cut was really deep and across the stomach, probably died instantly and if not definately bled out fast. Also the wound looked like it had been burned a bit around the edges, not entirely sure what caused it yet though," explained Officer Reed as he showed Matthews the photographs of the crime scene. "You weren't kidding when you said a very brutal case. So you said she keeps repeating the same thing, what is she repeating exactly?" "Don't worry, you'll hear her say it. Like I said on the phone, as far as I can tell, she'll never tell. She's completely unresponsive. Just the same sentence. Do you want to go in and talk to her?" explained Officer Reed. "Alright, but I've got a few rules. One, you need to turn off the recorders to the room. Two, whatever I start doing in there, you do not try and stop me. My bosses will cover anything I vandalize. Three, only I am in there. No one comes in, I don't even want anyone near the door. Understand?" demanded Matthews. "What exactly are you going to be breaking?" asked Officer Reed nervously. "Hey, you guys asked for me. Either I break a few thing or I leave, you just need to worry about following those rules," replied Matthews. "Alright, go ahead, I'll keep the guards away from the door." "Thank you," said Matthews as he went to the side of the room and entered the door. Once he entered the room, Melissa didnt even blink. She just continued to stare vacantly at the table in front of her. "Hello Miss Coven, is it alright if I call you Melissa?" asked Matthews as he approached the table and sat his briefcase down. Melissa however didn't respond. "Melissa I'm just going to make some minor adjustments to the room to ensure that our conversation is private," explained Matthews as he clicked open his briefcase. Melissa remained still and continued to stare at the table. Matthew just nodded and grabbed a retractable metal stick from his briefcase. The lights flickered briefly as Matthews began making his way to the corner of the room. In the corner hanging from the roof was a security camera. Matthews made a quick flick of his wrist which caused the metal stick to extend. Matthews then took a quick powerful swing at the camera with the stick. The sound of the impact echoed throughout the small silent room. The camera was knocked from the roof and crashed on the tiled floor. The sound of the impact cause Melissa to flinch a bit. Matthews then returned to his briefcase and retracted the stick and neatly placed it back in the case. Next Matthews pulled out a can of black spray paint. He then turned to the mirror which on the other side was where Matthews and Reed had been standing before. Matthews then walked up and began covering the mirror with the jet black paint. Once Matthews finished covering the mirror he tossed the can on the ground next to the camera. Matthews then took the extra chair in the room and jammed it underneath the door handle. Once Matthews made sure the door was jammed properly he returned to the table and took a seat in the remaining empty chair. Matthews then closed the briefcase and sat it next to his chair. He then pulled a pen from his pocket and grabbed one of the blank pieces of paper on the table. "Alright Melissa, my name is Detective Matthews. Now I need to ask you about what happened to your co-worker, Derek Lee? Does that sound about right?" asked Matthews. Melissa appeared to cringe at hearing his name. But there was no response. "Melissa please, we want to catch the person responsible for this. Any information you can give us will help," explained Det. Matthews as sincerely as he could. Finally Melissa opened her mouth to say something. It took her a few moments to finally say it but she finally mumbled, "I, I can't tell you... or he will come for me..." "Melissa don't worry. Whoever it was can't hear you in here. The things I just did makes sure that he won't. Now I need some information to make sure that he can never come for you or anyone else. Can you do that for me Melissa?" asked Matthews again. "I, I-I can't tell you...or he will come for me..." repeated Melissa. "How about this Melissa. I'll make you a deal, does that sound alright?" asked Matthews. Melissa just continued to stare at the table. Matthews was beginning to get irritated by her. "I can't tell you or-" "Yeah, yeah or he will come for you. How about this Melissa? If I give you a pen and piece of paper will you write down what happened on it and then I'll burn the paper?" asked Matthews. But Melissa continued to remain silent. Matthews then placed the pen on the piece of paper, and passed the paper over into Melissa's view. Melissa continued to stare at the paper as if it would just disappear if she stared at it long enough. Finally Melissa let out a sigh and gulped then grabbed the pen and paper. As Melissa began to quickly scribble something down on the paper Matthews rose to his feet and began pacing the room. It took Melissa about seven minutes to finish writing. As she passed the paper towards Matthews seat she appeared to begin holding her breath. "what could have happened that was making her so terrified,' though Matthews to himself as he went to take his seat again and begin reading the note. Matthews was reading through as fast as he could and the closer he got to the end of the note the more horrified of a look he had on his face. "Oh my god,' gasped Matthews as he rose to his feet. Instantly he reached into his pocket for his zippo, hoping that he wasn't too late. Matthews fumbled to quickly light the zippo and start the paper on fire. As soon as the paper burst into flames, he dropped it on the floor. As the paper seemed to burn for a weirdly long time smoke began billowing up into the shape of a very tall, very big man in a black cloak. Slowly the smoke began to materialize into an actual man. Matthews then began backing up against the wall. Melissa had now started crying and staring at the table again. Now standing in the middle of the room was a tall man with a very large black cloak on. There seemed to be chains coming from his arms through the sleeves of his cloak. In his right hand he was holding a very large red hot steaming sword. "Hello Melissa," said the tall man. His voice was very deep and seemed to echo forever as he spoke. "I see you weren't able to abide by the rules," he said as he began to move towards Melissa. Det. Matthews was still pressed against the wall and began slowly sliding down to the floor in fear. Melissa finally looked up at the man that was now approaching her. Almost instantly she let out a high pitched scream as she launched herself from her chair and into the corner for the room on the floor. As Melissa was screaming there was a banging sound on the door. The man continued moving towards Melissa. When he reached the table he grabbed it and threw it against the wall. Melissa continued to scream as the man was now directly in front of her. He then raised his arm with the blade in the air. "And now, for not following the rules Melissa, you will suffer the same fate as your friend!" yelled the man as he quickly swung the blade across Melissa's stomach. Det. Matthews stared in horror as almost instantly the screaming stopped. Melissa's body lay lifeless in the corner. Blood pouring out of the huge gaping wound on her stomach. The man then turned to Det. Matthews and said, "I believe you should already know this, but if you say or write anything about me or what has happened here, you will suffer the same terrible fate, goodbye Det. Matthews. Hopefully I won't have to see you again," explained the man just before he slowly turned into smoke again and slowly disappeared. Det. Matthews now had the same vacant stare as he stared at Melissa's limp body which was now surrounded by a pool of blood. Suddenly there was a loud crashing sound as a metal chair came flying through the two-way mirror and slammed against the wall. The glass from the mirror came flying all over the floor. The glass sprinkled across Matthews' legs as Officer Reed along with three other officers jumped through the now open window. Two of the officers rushed over to Melissa and Reed and the other officer turned their attention to Matthews. "She's dead, sir," exclaimed the other two officers. "Shit! Matthews, what happened in here?" asked Officer Reed as he knelt down to talk to Matthews. Det. Matthews slowly raised his head to look at Officer Reed and muttered, "I, I can't tell you...or he will come for me..."

The End

submitted by /u/fednev [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/2QYUmzd