#hi I still exist - M
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I saw @qourmet's young madam lan art, and knew what I had to do.
#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan furen#horse#we need to name her horse IMMEDIATELY#Qingheng-Jun#She is stunning and beautiful and the design has me in a death grip#AND she's a horse girl? It was not even and option to not draw her.#Lan wangji has to get his biting and tearing and killing genes from somewhere.#Its maternal. He inherited the hunting instinct from his mother and an attraction to people who do crimes from his father#btw if yall haven't seen them; All of qourmet's prev generation designs are *so* good. I have genuinely gotten brainrot over CSSR and WCZ.#On every god that exists I WILL find a way to have them show up in the pd-mdzs comic canon. I've already scripted the comics. Its happening#Also it's been too long since I drew an equine. Why are there not *more* equines in MDZS. This is why I had to make the equineswap au.#I''m still not sure how a horse works. but I'm getting there.#Slowly I am creeping towards the necessary skill set I need to draw Qiyan Agula.#JQWS audio drama....I am gazing at you so fondly. I will return to you with power and strength (better comic skills to draw you)#we are a long way away but...that's the dream project.
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GUYS YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS!!!!
🧡🦌✨HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMES POTTER✨🦌🧡
#IVE BEEN COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS#HIS BIRTHDAY HAS BEEN ON MY CALENDAR FOR M O N T H S#i literally love him so much#he’s taken over my life recently#he’s one of my favorite men to ever exist#and he enjoys the happiest birthday#and imma pretend he’s still alive and happy rn#james potter#character birthday#happy birthday#james fleamont potter#harry potter#marauders#mwpp#mwpp era
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I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.
#once again i jest but now i have to actually talk about it#like. okay we have no proof of any actual timeline for the dirge flashbacks other than. it was at least 30 years ago#so who knows how long they were at the manor. could have been weeks before The Incident. or months. or maybe a full year! who knows#but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown#AND THEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY SHE AGREED TO THE EXPERIMENT AND IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS#1. she knew she was pregnant and thats why she agreed to the experiment cuz there was already a usable subject#and therefore she must have fucked hojo like a week after she fucked vincent AND THATS STUPID FAST FOR THESE EVENTS#or 2. she didnt know. agreed to the experiment. fucked hojo. and therefore thought seph was hojo's and NOT vincent's#AND BY THE WAY. i dont even actually believe hojo fucked either!!! cuz theyre both scientists so why wouldnt they think IVF was the best way#okay. well.... hojo is canonically a fucked up little freak. so. he might have taken the opportunity to... get in there.#also when did ivf even start being a thing? cuz that may play a factor into this if nomura even considered that#well either way lets just unfortunately assume hojo got in there#ITS STILL AN ODDLY FAST TIMELINE#also. fuck man doesnt lucrecia have a later line in dirge where she actually says shes in love with hojo? or something along those lines#IMPLYING ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE SHE HAD THE FALLING OUT WITH VINCENT. YOU WOULDNT FUCK THE GUY AFTER ALL THAT SHIT#AND WHILE CLAIMING TO LOVE/CURRENTLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HOJO!!!! LIKE CMON MAN!!!! SHE SUCKS BUT SHES NOT THAT KIND OF A MESS#i dont think vincent would fuck her until they sorted out their issues anyway and that CLEARLY didnt happen.#its VITAL that that did not happen!!!!#its just. if vincent and lucrecia fucked. everything would have had to happen EXTREMELY fast within like a 2 week timespan#and im just talking about up to when vincent learns shes partaking in the experiment. it was probably another week or two until vincent died#SO. logically it must have been like#fall in love->learn about the gimoire incident->refuse to speak to vincent->get obsessed with hojo->fall in love(?)#and then thats where i think its ambiguous on did the experiment become an idea before or after seph started to exist?#like chicken or the egg ya know. experiment idea or sephiroth zygote?#that feels fucked up to say. im so fucking sorry to seph to talk about this. yeah sorry i have to debate who fucked your mom bro#god imagine telling him that. like not even as a reveal thing cuz he knows who his father is. just like as a sick joke. your mom joke.#NO OH M Y GOD I HAVE A QUESTION NOW#in accordance to him having a photo of lucrecia in ever crisis. after he reads that jenova is an ancient (incorrect btw)#does he think that picture is still her? what about when he takes jenova's body from the lab????#oh my god 30 tag limit. FUCK. i need like a rant blog for all this vincent talk now. my brain is going a mile a minute
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I have to be so honest and vulnerable with you for a second. I keep thinking of getting another complete works of Shakespeare
#tales from diana#my riverside 1973 is still my beloved baby but she's really worse for the wear these days#i didn't start thinking about it till i got one for my friend like 6 months ago for his bday#and i kept looking at it and being like oh wow. his doesn't have all the scratches and rips mine does#mine is still BETTER obviously bc it's MINE. it's in worse condition objectively but it's MINE#making it the best copy in existence. to me#and it was my aunt's textbook at boston college. my grandmother let me have it. i think of it as a family heirloom#and the coating on the front cover side of the spine has been slowly tearing off :(#like there's one long vulnerable rip almost all the way down. idk how to prevent it from breaking further#other than just by not using it. and idk how to fix it wo making it potentially worse#i didn't know how to take care of old gigantic books when i got it at 19. i never considered it#i hadn't had one before. but now im more experienced#and im also just curious about what's inside other editions. especially newer ones#i only have 6 plays and at least 3 of them i plan to read in a copy other than the riverside#like my 23 plays and sonnets (1953) edited by t. m. parrot has 2 and another play im gonna borrow from library lending#and id definitely wanna get rid of a lottttt of books i have right now before getting a new one#im already planning on which books to donate when i declutter#and i need to declutter my books DESPERATELY. so so desperately#it'd just be nice to have another complete works in my collection. for a number of reasons.#that way i also suppose ill have two big books of shakespeare for auntie diana to pass down someday#i don't plan on getting one soon im just in the contemplative phase. but boy am i tempted
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there comes a beautiful time in life where i have to ask myselg th question, "did i accidentally project too hard onto the character that i only relate to a little bit and in doing so hugely missed this one entire aspect/interpretation of the characters . am i stupid"
#ARE THEY STUPID!#dr who#this is about ten specifically his relationship w martha lmao#m being so serious i genuinely did not. see the 'ten was on purpose leading martha on to make her think her feelings were requited' angle#until going out into the wild and reading the tumblr posts. like i genuinely did not. at ALLLLLL. its like a brick hitting my head#bc the ENTIRE time s3 ten came off to me as 'doing stuff w no romantic intent behind it but would consistently get misinterpreted as such'#cuz IIIIIIIII have done this. IIIIIIII have run into this problem before. and it sucks so incredibly bad.#i actually do want to think my og interpretation still holds water cuz like. well i could gather all the evidence but#first one that comes 2 mind would be him going 'it's like when you fancy someone + they dont know you exist' to martha. in episode TWELVE#two routes; either ten is needlessly cruel and callous even after a season's worth of building up trust and friendship w her#or he is on super 'i dont think she has feelings for me and this is a very unhappy coincidence of a line' cocaine#Or the 'she fancied me' line in s4 to donna. either he is disregarding all the good and positive impact she did him. or the fact that this#went over his head the whole time made him look back on that time w discomfort <- I DID THIS. I MIGHT HAVE BEEN PROJECTING#THIS ONTO HIM. AM I STUPID.?.?????#you know how mikage rgu can either be read as an incel or a gay man lost so completely in the sauce#ten is like in this same ballpark. i think. of 'emotionally manipulative and disrespects women' or 'aroacespec and missed the cues'#funniest possible options to pick from. ten my brother how did you set yourself up like this#absolutely not denying that he was toxic and unhealthy during s3 in like 500 ways btw. but well. ths is the one concwpt that#flew over my head. so completely. and i can kind of see it now but i also still find it hard to incorporate into my belief system#bc its like. brother I'M aroace and missed the cues too lol#tangential note we can trace many problems down to a writer's room filled w white people not giving#martha's character the respect/agency she deserves for the existing narrative she has. bc they pulled this w mickey too both in series 1+2#if they wanted to portray ten as manipulative then him and martha should've been given more screentime#together where martha (or anyone else) calls him the FUCK out on this. and ten would need to suffer narrative consequences of doing smth#as fucked up as that rather than his happy stable dynamic he has w donna. if they wanted to portray him as oblivious then marthas character#shouldn't have constantly been boiled down to an unrequited crush (particularly her dialogue in the s3 finale - there's a LOT more reasons#why she would choose to leave/why their dynamic was unhealthy besides ten not returning her feelings)#if you read all these tags you may be entitled 2 financial compensation#ten and martha#aspec doc tag
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I'VE FINALLY FINISHED BROTHERSHIP IT WAS SOOOOO GOOD!!!!!!!
#clai speaks#spoilers in the tags probably#ahhh first of all i am still astounded the game exists at all. we all thought m&l was done forever but here it is!!!#the timing of me playing superstar saga and getting really into mario last year couldnt have been better#i mean i probably would have played brothership still even if mario hadnt become a main interest of mine like that. but anyway#absolutely stellar re-entry into the series it did not disappoint in the SLIGHTEST#i think i 100%'d it? only thing i didnt do was finish that last dyode dance sequence but like its fiiiine#took about 50 hours i didnt get a chance to check my final time. really surprised that the game went that long!#i dont think it was a bad thing at all though. the game mostly didnt feel like it was overstaying its welcome#i did think lottacoins and the lower level solitree went a tad too long and i didnt like them but only a little. they're still fine sections#surprised that i didnt even feel like the sidequests were a drag they were all alright!#character interactions were so good ofc. love the new cast!! starlow felt a bit flat which is a shame but she also didnt appear much so#the sidequest where she visits bowser and he calls her chippy!!!! made me so happy!!!!!#all the callbacks were so good i'm glad they can still do that. yelled out loud after finding the peasley reef#docking points for no dreambert reef however. jail worthy offence#on reclusa specifically i dont have a lot to say about his character he's just your typical evil for the sake of evil villain#but i have to say i Love his design. the really exaggerated facial expressions and that clown neck frill. really fun character actually!!#ahhh call me childish but i'm never a fan of endings where friends separate but i like to think the second uni-tree--#--will allow them to link back up once its grown and can generate more connectar to do it#cant say if its my favorite yet bc recency bias is still too fresh but its absolutely my second favorite m&l game at least!!#i havent played paper jam yet i wanted to play the original paper mario and spm first. but i always hear its bad so??#brothership is at least on par with dream team for me rn. absolutely stellar game#i hope this means we'll get more m&l someday! i've already left a very positive response on the survey they put out#anyway. now to decide what to play next because i have a MASSIVE backlog of games and i didnt think this would take this long BJDHJFHF#10/10!!!! please play brothership immediately
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GLADIATOR !!!
I watched Gladiator for the first time last night...I see why just about every award around 24 years ago...before, the main thing I knew about it was that my older brother saw it 11 times when it was in theaters lol.
Great film. Stupendous epic story. Watching the opening battle in Germania made me think "this looks so EXPENSIVE" and just how much of that scene would be reduced to CGI only if made today. Really shocked me that Proximo was an aged gladiator, sure did not expect that. Commodus saying to his father (paraphrase) "a hug from you would have been like the sun on my face for a thousand years" made me feel intensely sorry for him in the moment.
I bet Russell Crowe was a huge heartthrob for women at the time. His downward turned eyes make him look so mournful and serious and he's just very undeniably handsome. But I've read on reddit posts from people work in movies/TV that he's one of the WORST celebrities to work with and treats non-actors in the production around him like dirt.
Loved the score too! The action theme sounded a lot like the Pirates of the Caribbean theme?? Both were done by Hans Zimmer, did he just make some tweaks to the Gladiator one to make Pirates? Have to wonder.
What a cool accomplishment of a movie. I really hope Gladiator 2 delivers as well!
#movies#Gladiator#I watched it with my mom and I remember saying to her ;;Does Commodus not know Maximus escaped? He sent that whole execution team with him-#And none of them returned. Why didnt he look into that??;; (this before Commodus mentioned his ppl lied to him abt M being executed)#And she said to me REALLY dismissively There was no internet then; how would he look into it?#And it made me so angry in the moment how do you argue with someone whose first thought is ;;No Internet Means No Information Ever;;#She also asked me ;;so what was going on in America at the time? and I was like gobsmacked dumbfounded aghast trying not to LAUGH#But then tbh I'm thinking it's NOT that she believed the USA existed then;; but rather she didn't know what to call that area of the world#So it's more like...she just didn't think to say The Americas or North America...I fucking HOPE#STILL NOT GOOD. NOT INSPIRING. GENTLE WAVES OF CONFUSION AND DISAPPOINTMENT IN THE BEACH OF MY MIND#1 single point in her favor. When Commodus and Lucilla were introduced riding in the carriage together she told me right away--#that the 2 were brother and sister. I was AMAZED that she would remember such a detail from a movie she saw 20+ years ago#Damn did you read all my tags? Thank you stranger. Mwah mwah
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Some of Ya'll have no idea how to write impulsive characters and it shows
Say it with me kids:
Impulsive does not mean stupid.
Impulsive does not mean no common sense
I see too many people write impulsive characters as fucking idiots. As a fairly impulsive person myself, it makes me angry.
Every human being occasionally gets the the urge to do or say something that wouldn't be socially acceptable or would only make things worse, especially when they're emotional. Often (but not always, everyone does impulsive actions occasionally) people will think "no, I shouldn't do/say that" and then they don't do or say it. An impulsive person doesn't think twice about it. They do or say something potentially harmful, irresponsible, not socially acceptable, etc. and only AFTERWORDS do they realize oh fuck I shouldn't have done/said that fuck fuck fuck fuck.
An impulsive character will still make a plan of action. They might have a hard time sticking to that plan. An impulsive person will be easier to provoke into anger or another emotional outburst, but impulsivity is different from a "heat of the moment" outburst. Impulsive actions are quick.
Calling your girlfriend a bitch in the middle of an argument is pretty impulsive (and also not okay, lemme be clear about that). Making an entire "the reason you suck" speech towards your girlfriend is not impulsive (although a quick "the reason you suck" summary or bullet point list can be an impulsive action).
Punching someone in the face because they insulted you is impulsive. Doing an entire beatdown because someone insulted you is not impulsive, but can have roots in impulsivity - impulsive characters can sometimes get to the "heat of the moment BSoD" stage faster.
might add more points later, idk. Hope this makes sense.
#Yes this is about Jason Todd#everyone either writes him as a reckless dangerous idiot or they just completely erase his impulsivity#Even though that's one of his main character flaws#Him trying to save his mom was in fact an impulsive decision#or at least the way he did it kind of was (Hear me out here)#He cared about her and wanted to save her#and he focused so much on saving her that he had a hard time sticking to the plan he made#He impulsively trusted her#This is NOT me trying to say “yeah Jason's death was his own fault he got himself killed”#I've seen ppl say that shit that is NOT what I'm saying#It's important to note that flaw ≠ Bad Thing#a FLAW is simply something that makes a character more complex#Being too blunt is a flaw. Being too proud is a flaw. Being too confident is a flaw. Not being confident ENOUGh is a flaw.#Fatal Flaws exist#and Jason's is impulsivity#that does NOT make him stupid or anything like that#I"m very passionate about this#you can be a competent adult and still have impulsivity as a main flaw
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hahahhahhahaha. what a week huh.
#i made this like. a month and a half ago? but it seems like a good choose from the drafts for This super fun update:#my less than a year old ipad is now! broken!#because of course it is!!!!!#of course!!!#literally cannot open my drawing app (or instagram) or access any of my files or make anything new!!#i just. what the Fuck man.#im doin everything i can ok#currently on plan m#where hardison might die but hopefully this pc will confirm the existence of my procreate files so we can move forward with fuckin around#w the broken asshole itself (ipad) without worrying abt losing stuff#I’ve dealt with this exact break before Twice and the one remedy was device replacement which is. so so bad for me so let’s just. hope thats#not the case here in what would be my first ever instance of technology luck#in the biggest fucking dose of irony it broke Because I tried to back it up to have a safety net for when some shit like this happened. i.#yeah sure why not i guess#my art?#tw blood#ask to tag#sky tag#my guy has been having a nonstop Time since his redesign Damn#ive got a bunch of stuff in my drafts here to post still but like. of course this happens when im trying to do comms. of course#hhhhhhggg. fine.
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I watched Knock At The Cabin and I'm not sure how I feel about it but it was better than I expected. I mean, at this point with M Night Shyamalan I just go in prepared for deep disappointment, and I didn't get that!
#knock at the cabin#m night shyamalan#or according to my dictation app#I'm not sure I'm all in#which isn't that far off really#I mean it's exactly how I feel about his movies#after the shitty ending to unbreakable#I mean otherwise unbreakable was a great movie#I truly enjoyed signs but I know a lot of people didn't either because the religious stuff was too much or because why the hell#would aliens who can't come into contact with liquid water without severe injury#come to this planet of all places#but hey maybe it's only fresh liquid water!#maybe saltwater/ocean water are just fine!#and they thought liquid fresh water is only a tiny fraction of what exists on our planet compared to saline#they can totally avoid it!#I didn't hate the village I appreciated what it was trying to do but still it was a little clunky#somehow I totally missed the one with Mark Wahlberg and the killer trees#definitely did not see his Airbender one#did see the girl in the water and again that was okay but also meh#I can't go into all the reasons why because I don't remember#except that again he does tend to be a wee bit heavy handed with the spiritual themes#which I guess happened again here in knock at the cabin#but Jonathan groff did his groffing and that redeemed a lot if it#jonathan groff#!!!!#and I do always love the Philadelphia and neighboring counties references#looks like peacock also has the sixth sense so he thinks I'm going to rewatch that one#poor M Night Shyamalan his first movie is still his best#it's not even a contest
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my beautiful autistic mind is so picky and annoying sometimes because my biggest struggle with writing at the moment is the fact i dont like how the name bobby looks written out but i like how it sounds and also know that is his name it literally cannot be anything else. but every time i look at the letters i'm like.......
#thing is it's literally a whole thing in the damn story about how he hates his Government Name so i have to honour his real name!!!!#actually this was one of those moments where a character came with a name#bobby was a moment of wait were you always there and i just didnt notice you because i saw a pic on pinterest#that gave me an idea for an RR storyline the storyline being a character dies from AIDS#which is something i have been SO apprehensive about this whole time because i didnt know if i wanted to write the AIDS crisis and include#death so directly...but then my mom died and i became hyperfixated on death LOL#(and realised the way i could approach it respectfully + in a way that honours)#anyway i was like wow with my better expertise on the AIDS crisis + personal experience with loss i feel like i can write this kind of#storyline but who dies?? and i have to make them a fully fleshed character bc i always do#but thats like especially important here. he can't just be a body + vessel for other characters' grief journeys#literally immediately my brain was like so his name is bobby he looks like this he was born in august and he loves this david bowie song#i dont actually know if he still likes the david bowie song (my first image of him had dialogue inspired by the song) so that is info FOR M#but maybe i should revisit that lol.....anyway he just appeared#more details + development came with time as always but i dont have like any conscious#memory of that it just happened#like i forget he's only existed less than a year bc he's on beau/felix/dorothy levels of developed. WOW!#was also never meant to be beau's bestie and i can't remember at all how i decided that it also just happened#oops i accidentally infodumped
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What we need is to attach googly eyes to the Exile, clearly - The Major
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Omg I’m already disappointed at Dick Grayson for becoming a cop (did he learned nothing from Jim!?), but to think he became a SUPER COP!??!?!? WTF is this Agent 37 shit??!!?!
Disowned! I can’t believe this is my child!
#😭#He’s still my favorite child#I just can’t understand how manipulation appeared into his character meta????#it’s so out of place and I’m trying to fit the puzzle pieces together but I can’t because that piece doesn’t exist!!!#I fully blame T*m K*ng#anti tom king
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I was thisclose to getting HQ footage of Kang but sOMEBODY HAD TO GO AND BE A DOMESTIC ABUSER--
#can't have shit in this TVA#getting dropped by one of his agencies though??? and a PR firm??? that's a YIKES my man#granted its also displaying Hollywood's racism because P*lanski is still going strong but thats neither here nor there#but it IS very qwhite interesting that m*jors is being dropped as a sack of potatoes while the rest of hollywood exists ya kno????#anyways actors are not your friends and I say that as an actor#just like in every other line of work just bc they do a good job on screen doesn't mean they're a good person in private
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After everything settles down in his life, granted I don't see his story ending in actual death due to the nature of his existence, Niwa wouldn't be able to commit himself to anywhere else but Tatarasuna. It's his home and where he owes everything to ; once he's no longer subject to finding the one who ruined it any longer, he'd begin to clear it out and rebuild it, removing that damned furnace forever and going back to the way innovation used to be all those four hundred years ago.
The climb back to his former glory won't happen in his generation ; however, his hopes remain clear that he'll revive the Isshin Arts and restore the village and mines to create jobs, a warm and inviting atmosphere, and to, once again, begin teaching others the artform his family cultivated.
#* // ♦︎ 012. — › M A N N E R I S M S#// he very much feels that he can't live out his life any other way ; he HAS to do this because it's his duty#// now thanks to the tree bringing him back to life and his body basically being entirely based on a fairytale#// he's unable to age anymore#// but he doesn't know that yet#// he thinks he's still human even if he sometimes wonders if he's the same niwa who was known#// because ~~IDENTITY CRISIS~~ about existence sometimes happens#// the only real way he can't die is through aging but every other way is on the table#// his lifeforce is tied to the leylines so if those ever are irreversibly damaged? gone. He uses up too much energy from them? gone.#// I'll have to write more about this later
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@frigidboy mad in the tags again. sorry it is my nature. u activated my sleeper agent trigger
I should note, I hate the soulmates "we would fall in love in every universe" trope for the aforementioned "where's the tension and interest and really anything worthwhile" reasons. However, "we would find each other in every universe" fucking rips. We would interact meaningfully in every universe but sometimes we are lovers and sometimes we are friends and sometimes we are bitter enemies and sometimes we'd simply both be in the same HOA.
#there’s an x files episode about this#< PREV. have u any idea how much this fucked me up#The Field Where I Died is EASILY. EASILY. top 5 X-Files episodes#yeah soul mates exist here is Mulder's. too bad they can't be together in any lifetime#also it's not Scully. cope#the way Mulder himself says 'souls mate eternal' though like. choice is part of it!!!#his soul mate dies before his eyes (almost) & he still carries on every day! with Scully!#'with Scully' being the key part of that sentence 👀#also how in every life she's some sort of paternalistic mentor to him#Mulder moaning tears rolling 'my father is dead at my feet. he is Scully [...] my sergeant is dead too. he is Scully'#IN EVERY LIFE she dies before him. he is standing there looking at her body in the moments before he dies#in every life he fails to save Samantha & his soul mate is torn from him & he watches Scully die. I Am Normal About This Show#anyway kudos to Chris Carter on this one#'soul mates exist. who give a shit' is the only unique take I've seen on soulmate stories & I have to give him props for that lmao#for personal reasons ♠️#literally THE slow burn m/f colleagues to lovers deranged folie à deux quest obsessed somewhat mad devotees narrative of the century#THE BLUEPRINT ITSELF#& he's like yeah but they're not soul mates. dw abt it#ICONIC LMAOOO#also 'the souls come back together... different but together... again & again... to learn'#fundamentally shaped me as a person :)#also Cancer Man being a fucking gestapo officer??? 'evil returns as evil' this bitch is so dropkickable in every life ig lmaooo#so yeah they set up a whole team squad soul mates dynamic affair#never comes up again#god I love this show (mortified)#The X-Files#dynamics#frigidboy
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