#hhhh these just keep getting longer

[firefly464]

Scott | Pearl | Martyn (You are here!)

Word Count: 2,049

Fandom: 3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences 

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply 

Relationships: Martyn Littlewood | InTheLittleWood & Rendog, Martyn Littlewood | InTheLittleWood & Scott Major | Smajor1995 

Characters: Martyn Littlewood | InTheLittleWood, Rendog (Video Blogging RPF), Scott Major | Smajor1995 

Additional Tags: Character Study, POV Second Person, Memory Alteration, this one leans into it way more than the other ones did, Only Winners Remember the 3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series, Martyn Littlewood | InTheLittleWood-centric, Martyn Littlewood | InTheLittleWood Needs A Hug, Canon-Typical Violence, 3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series-Typical Character Death, Martyn and his relationship with loyalty, Ambiguous Martyn Littlewood | InTheLittleWood and Rendog Relationship, you can really read it as /p or /r it works just fine either way

Series: Part 3 of Life after Life (again and again and again)

Summary:

Loyalty is such a strange concept. You don’t get it.

Well. That’s not true. You know how valuable another person can be. How having someone to watch your back can be the difference between life and death.

You also know that your life is far more important than theirs. If it ever came down to it, you would run away and leave them for dead in a heartbeat. You fully expect them to do the same for you.

~~~

Or, an exploration of Martyn and how he feels about loyalty

~~~

https://archiveofourown.org/works/62221153

Or read it under the cut :D

Loyalty is such a strange concept. You don’t get it. 

Well. That’s not true. You know how valuable another person can be. How having someone to watch your back can be the difference between life and death. 

You also know that your life is far more important than theirs. If it ever came down to it, you would run away and leave them for dead in a heartbeat. You fully expect them to do the same for you. 

So maybe it’s more accurate to say that you don’t understand undying loyalty. The kind that leads a person to throwing themselves in front of a sword for someone else. The kind that leads a person to getting themselves killed. 

The idiotic kind. 

The kind that Ren seems to think you have as he hands you a sharpened axe. 

Well. No harm in playing along, right?

---

You never really intended to stick with Ren for this long. You were planning on ditching him as soon as things turned violent. 

It’s fine. That option isn’t off the table. You can still get the hell out of here. 

It doesn’t matter that your green life was just taken by a mob of all things, after you had stupidly refused to give up the chase. It doesn’t matter that you would have hunted Scar down to the ends of the earth if it meant you could get that flag back. 

It doesn’t matter. It’s fine. It’s fine.

---

The coat that Ren gives you sits heavy on your shoulders. It weighs you down, filled with expectation. 

You’ve already died twice for this man. You don’t know if you’ll make it a third. You know that he expects you to stay loyal, to stay by his side. 

The insignia upon your back feels like a death sentence already. 

You try not to think about how little the thought upsets you.

 ---

In the end, you don’t betray him. You’re never given the chance. 

You don’t even get to die for him either. What a joke. 

No, you get to experience the joys of watching Ren’s blood be spilled across the stones of the altar that he had built. 

You watch as his body crumples to the floor. You can hear your own voice, screaming his name. 

You’re almost at his side when the arrow pierces your heart. You don’t even hear it whistle through the air. 

How fucking pathetic. 

~~~~~

Loyalty is a weird concept. It’s confusing. It  doesn’t make all that much sense to you. 

You know that you’re supposed to be loyal to the Southlands, but that group was doomed from the start. You’d be an idiot to not prepare a lifeboat when you can see the iceberg in the distance. 

So you create a backup plan. You meet up with those from the fairy fort. You’re not sure why them specifically, but it feels right. 

You still don’t plan on doing anything stupid for them, but it’s good to have a backup. 

Besides, Ren owes you! He owes you for saving his life from that stupid fire. 

You still don’t know why you did that. It was a dumb decision, you could have easily gotten yourself killed in the process. 

You ignore how natural it had felt to run to his aid. How throwing yourself through the flames had been easier than breathing. 

You have to ignore it. Otherwise you might go insane. 

---

You’re the last one left. You’re left in the crumbling facade of the place you once called home. 

They’re gone. They’re all gone. 

You shouldn’t care this much. You shouldn’t be this distraught. 

You had seen the iceberg from a mile away. You had prepared the lifeboat, you were ready to bail. 

And yet… you had stayed. You didn’t abandon ship. 

You’re such an idiot.

~~~~~

Loyalty is fucking stupid. That’s the conclusion that you’ve come to. 

What’s the point of having a soulmate if they abandon you the second you mess up? Aren’t they supposed to stay by your side? To help and support you? Make sure that you don’t die?

They’re most certainly not supposed to tell you to fuck you off. 

And ok fine, you probably didn’t help when you pushed Cleo off a cliff and got you both killed, but how were you supposed to know that there was a ledge there? Honestly, you fail to see how this is your fault. 

Besides, you had died too! So it’s not exactly fair to completely blame you. 

You try to make a backup plan. You meet up with Ren and Pearl, try to create a new alliance. 

It’s the perfect group of people! The two that have been disgraced and abandoned by their soulmates and… Ren. 

For some reason. 

You’re still not entirely sure why Ren is included in the alliance, but it feels like the right decision. You barely know the guy, but you feel like you can trust him. 

It’s probably a stupid decision. It’s probably going to get you killed. You think you might ok with that.

---

In the end, you’re forced to return to Cleo’s side. You don’t want to, and you’re pretty sure she wants it even less, but you have to do what you have to do to survive. 

With everyone on red, it’s not like you have much of a choice. You need someone to watch your back if you have any hope of winning. 

You would go back to Ren and Pearl, but you have no idea where Pearl is, and Ren is—

Gone dead he’s dead and you couldn’t do anything to save him you didn’t even get to see him die you didn’t even get to give him a burial you failure how dare you abandon your king like this—

Well. He’s not here. That’s what’s important. 

So. Cleo it is.

---

When you die, it’s alone. You’re huddled in the secret passage underneath the snow. 

It’s cold. 

You wish you could say that you’re surprised Pearl turned on you. You’re not. Of course you’re not. You would have done the exact same. No point in pretending like you wouldn’t.  

You’re not that stupid.

~~~~~

Something’s wrong. Something’s broken. Something isn’t right.

You can feel it the second that you open your eyes. Someone has tampered with the world's code with your code and no one else seems to notice or care. 

Why don’t they care???

You can’t help but let out a sigh of relief when the curse burrows underneath your skin. Hard to focus on anything else when every inch of your being is screaming out for blood. 

But then you kill BigB and the curse is lifted and you’re left with nothing but the knowledge that some part of your soul has been stolen and you can’t even remember what it was.

It makes you want to scream. 

---

You return to Scott, hoping that maybe being by his side will help soothe the ache that plagues you. 

It almost works. Almost, but not quite. 

---

You try to bring it up to Scott. Subtly, of course, you’re not stupid enough to reveal a potential weakness to the people who will be trying to kill you. 

But you have to know. You have to know.

“I think something got messed up in the world creation,” you say, forcing yourself to keep your voice light. 

“What do you mean?”

“I dunno. It just… feels like somethings missing, I guess?” It’s the only way you can describe it. “It’s like there’s a bit of code missing.”

Scott freezes. He stares at the chest he was organizing. The only sounds you can hear are the waves lapping against the island. 

You knew it, you knew it!! You knew that it wasn’t just you!! There really is something wrong! It’s the only reason he would react like this!

But then he turns to you. And you feel your heart freeze in your chest. There’s no relief in his gaze, nothing that would imply he feels the same break in the world that you feel. 

Only pity.

It fills you with rage. You want to claw the expression from his face. 

“Oh… oh Martyn….”

You don’t bring it up again.

 ---

Scott tells you to kill him. He tells you that you have to do it you have to kill him. If you don’t someone else will and he’d rather it be you than anyone else. 

You’d be a failure of a right hand man teammate if you didn’t. 

You watch as his blood spills out across the stones of the altar into the water around you. 

The water is so cold.

You swallow the sob that threatens to bubble up. 

---

Grian and Pearl keep looking at you with the same pity that Scott did. They look at you like you’re a glass sculpture that could shatter at any moment. 

They know. They know something that you don’t. What do they know what could they possibly know that you don’t?

You hate it. You hate it so much. 

---

When you turn red, Scott is by your side. He gives you a red sash, embroidered with white, saying that he put it together in their spare time. 

The fabric feels warm in your hands. It feels right as you tie it around your waist. 

It’s a dumb decision. An enemy could easily grab it as you’re running away. It could easily get you killed. 

You don’t care. You need to keep it close. 

You can’t let them take it you won’t let them take it it’s all you have left of him you have nothing else you have to keep it close. 

You’re not sure why. 

---

Grian goes pale when he sees the banner around your waist.

Good. 

---

You’re one of the last three left. Scott and Impulse seem to think that the best way out of this is a fair fight, that it’s the best way to decide a winner. You watch them toss their armor and weapons into a pile in the sand. 

Scott and Impulse are idiots. 

You don’t care that Scott has been your teammate since day one. You’ve known from the start that your life is far more important than his. 

You’re not here to make friends and play nice. You’re here to win.

---

Their bodies hit the sand. The banner around your waist is stained with blood. 

You’re crowned the winner. 

Your memories return, and everything makes sense.

~~~~~

He’s not here again. It still hurts, but not as much as it did. Because you remember him now. You know what it is that you’re missing. 

You tell Jimmy that you’ll stick by his side, but it’s more of a formality than anything else. You’re not about to get yourself killed for him. 

There’s only one person who you would consider throwing yourself in front of a sword for, and he’s not here.

Jimmy doesn’t need to know that. 

--- 

You hear a snicker from behind you as you’re working on the base. 

“‘Big dogs’, huh?” Scott asks. 

You pointedly ignore the look that you know he’s giving you. You don’t even have to turn around to see it. You can feel it digging into your skull. 

You laugh. “I have no idea what you could possibly be referring to.”

It’s almost enough to soothe the ache in your soul. 

Almost, but not quite. 

~~~~~

You think you might understand why people chose to die for others. 

The realization clicks into place as you open your eyes and—

Oh. Ren is standing next to you. 

He’s back. He’s here he’s back he’s standing right beside you and you can hear him laughing and the sound feels like returning home.

He doesn’t remember everything anymore. He doesn’t remember the exact way that your hands had trembled when you cut off his head, he doesn’t remember the way that he had comforted you after your first death, he doesn’t remember the time that you spent together. 

You don’t care. You don’t care even the slightest bit. He doesn’t need to remember the history that you once shared to know that you’re with him until the end.

Because he’s here. He’s climbing into your boat and sailing away from everyone else with you and he’s here and you can’t remember the last time the world felt this right. 

[sneezygiant]

So this is just an ' A and B ' story, except with names. I'll be using these names often, but the species, gender, personalities, and even perhaps appearances will change depending on the stories being told.

Arin will always be the giant, and for convenience they are purple in dialogue and pronouns (if needed)

Bailey will always be the smaller, and for convenience they are orange in dialogue and pronouns (if needed)

______________________

"B-bailey...it...tuu-tuh..tickles..." Arin said through hitching breaths, eyes fluttering as they scrunched up their nose, as if trying to get away from Bailey's little fingers.

"I know it tickles, you idiot. It's why we don't go sticking our gigantic noses into trees. There are birds in trees" Bailey snapped back at their gigantic friend, who had a bird stuck up their right nostril.

Bailey was not happy about the position they had found themself in, starting to stick an arm deep into a gigantic nostril. All the way up to the shoulder... But it still wasn't enough. The bird was still waaay out of reach, and the giant was struggling to hold back yet another sneeze.

"mmm suuh..huuuh..hHhHh..uuhh r-rry...i-it whuu...hHhh...was so p-pretty..." Arin whimpered between needy hitches, their nose scrunched up even more, eyes fluttering unevenly before squeezing tightly closed, lips parting to reveal sharp fangs-

"Don't you dare!" Bailey squawks out desperately, trying to remove their arm as quickly as they could from Arin's nasal passage...but it was far too late.

"HhhHhHH! hiiiihhHH!...HAH! ...HaAH'DSHEEEIEW!" A handful of itchy hitches struggled their way out of the giant, before accumulating and exploding forward into a massive thundering sneeze. Poor Bailey was caught in the crossfire. Only have gotten their arm partially out of the ticking time bomb that was their friend's nose.

Bailey got the full force of the sneeze, little bit of spray and all. They had gotten flung a few yards away, hitting the ground hard with a groan. Taking in a deep breath, they lay there for a long moment. It was needed.

"Bailey!" Arin cried out in panic, pushing themself up out of their laying position with their arms, looking at Bailey in worry.

"are you ok? I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! The bird just really really really tickles ... And your arm tickled... I'm sorry!"

Bailey didn't move from their spot, instead giving a soft sigh.

"Is the bird still in your nose, or did you sneeze it out?"

Arin paused, taking a moment to sniff at the air, before wrinkling up their nose.

"it's still in there...still tickles" Arin babbled, bringing up a massive hand to squish and rub at their nose, snuffling heartily.

Bailey groaned as they pushed themself back to their feet. Approaching Arin they took on an impatient demanding tone.

"lay back down, you oaf"

They waited for Arin to obey with their hands on their hips, and the giant quickly but carefully did so. Now that Arin was back laying on their stomach, Bailey wasted absolutely no time at all and took action.

Bailey stepped up to that massive nostril, and quickly hoisted themself in, making as mad as a dash as they could towards the bird. They knew they didn't have much time at all.

Arin shot up into a sitting position with a sharp, startled gasp, a hand instinctively going up to press against the underside of their nose. They had not been expecting Bailey to do that at all.

"mmuuuh..! Huuuuh! HHhhHhh! hhHhh..." Arin's breath started to hitch near instantly. Their eyes started to water, chin tilting up, lips parting, eyes then squinting shut.

Bailey was having a hard time keeping their balance, the nasal membrane around them trembled and spasmed. The large hitches pulling in an inhumane amount of air creating a Gale force that threatened to topple them forward. Bailey had to constantly straighten themself out and fix their footing to stay up right and moving. It didn't help that the nasal membrane was starting to leak due to all the irritation.

"just hold on a liiiiitle longer! I see it! Hold it back! Hold it back!" Bailey shouted, trying to run. They could see the bird, up close it was clear its little foot was caught in a nose hair.

"HHhhHHh! I-... c-...cUUUHHhhh! C- CAN'T!" Arin gasped out, tears leaking down their face. It felt as if their nose was on fire.

Bailey took a desperate dive, tackling the little bird- subsequently freeing it from the hair. They held the struggling bird in their hands, slipping in a tad further as their chest met the 'floor' of Arin's nose. Once they stopped their slide, they rolled onto their back and hugged the bird firmly to their chest, bracing themself. Just in time too.

"HHHHhhhHhhh! Hhh! HaaaHHhh! HAAh....HAH'DSHEEIEW'uuh..!....DSHEIIEW!"

It was like being in the middle of a hurricane. A Gale force wind whipped around before exploding outwards, shooting out of the giant's nose like a bullet. Bailey landed on the ground with a wet splat. They had fallen on their back, exhaustedly releasing the soaked bird. The poor animal taking its chance to quickly hop away.

With a groan Bailey looked up at Arin, so dazed their vision was blurrily doubled. Seeing two giants before they clashed back into one being.

Arin snuffled, feeling their sinuses prickle once more. They wrinkled up their nose, taking in a deep sniff, before their mouth went slack.

"Huuuh! UuUuhhh...huuuUUuuHHhh ..." They gasped out , eyes closing and chin lifting before-

" HUHRSHHHOO!" Arin sneezed one final sneeze, taking a couple long moments to snurfle and sniff before noticing Bailey still laying prone on the ground.

Arin gave a gasp, getting on their hands and knees, crawling over until they loomed over Bailey. Looking them up and down worriedly, afraid to touch.

"are you ok?!" Arin basically shouted, causing Bailey to flinch slightly.

"I will be if you keep your nose out of trees" Bailey responded a tad bitterly.

[mythicalmyles]

A dream i had has been haunting me so here i am.

A jock any sport my dream wasnt specific just a popular jock is the reader and he is just so popular and everyone loves him and of course everyone assumes since his this big jock his the dom in the relationship between him and his boyfriend when in fact his the complete opposite.

The boyfriend can be in the band or a part of the cheer team again it depends on the sport and my dreams never clarify, He hears one of these conversations and has a brilliant idea that he was gonna put the reader in his place and everyone is gonna know that place.

I have no idea what kinks would be used, Just kinky and maybe some praise but ropes are involved or something, just use your imagination

Honestly just nerds putting jocks in their place 🤭🤭

U have in turn haunted me with this request 😤 i hope u enjoy since u didnt say who so i used toby bc hhhh i hope das oke <3 yall need to tell me more dreams ong (football is soccer) also sorry for so much toby but hes my cc and i need hims content

/tobys back story for today, put up w bullying met you, go to college together he kills his parents a couple weeks before instead leaving them in the basement and hiding their deaths, tobys already snapped but still has comprehension of who he was as a kid/

college au/jealousy kinda fic/comfort at start kind

/violence(toby gets violent too a character who doesn’t matter)blood/minor gore(?)/

You let out a gasping huff, bending over hands on your knees as your body scraped for oxygen. Sweat caused your football strip to stick to you, you dragged the wet clothing off of your sticky body, fanning it hoping to cool yourself down. “Thats it for today ladies!” The coach shouted, finally dismissing you all from practise.

You wiped the sweat off of your brow using your shirt as you jogged to the locker rooms. Mentally preparing yourself for the stink of many sweaty men crammed into one room, you pushed the door open immediately hit with the odour and cringing. You ignored it and made your way to your locker, you were convinced of the fact the cleaners had never stepped foot in here.

You all but threw yourself down into a bench after collecting your things, leaning against the wall and taking deep breaths. Your soaking hair clung to you and you brushed it away, the wetness helping it stay out of your face. A towel was thrown next to you and you cocked an eyebrow up at the intruder, trying to keep the scowl off of your face when the team captain came into view.

His cocky smirk drove you to the brink of insanity, the urge to knock it off of his arrogant face overwhelming. “Whats the deal with you and twitchy?” You glowered at him. “Dont call him that.” He had the audacity to laugh as he began stripping, the locker room falling silent as your voices bounced around the room. “Well?” He laughed armed raised and looking around as if he was confused. “You fucking him or something?” You tried not to flush, doing your best to cover any affect he might see with a glare. “If we were? So what?” You challenged, keeping eye contact with the prick.

He laughed and shook his head. “Calm down princess no need to get so angry, was just askin’.” Before you could respond your boyfriends voice had your attention to him, shock covering your face as you thought he still had band practise. “Speak of rats and they come crawlin’.” Your captain was incredibly lucky your entire life was banking on a sports scholarship.

“Fuck you want?” Toby’s deep voice always sent shivers running up your spine, the anger in his tone not helping. He sounded even hotter when he was spitting fire at someone. You took a deep breath, ready to tell Toby to forget it and to go home. “Yeah he was telling us alll about how he fucks you.” Paul chucked, arms crossed as he smirked at you both.

You could feel how angry Toby was getting at this point, dealing with his shit for way longer then you had at this point. What you didn’t expect was for Toby to lunge forward slamming straight into paul and slamming his head off of the ground, you froze completely as your teammates rushed to pull the scraping two apart, well, Toby was currently punching Paul and Paul was currently taking it while wailing for him to stop.

Toby had changed a lot recently, he seemed a lot quicker to react with anger then he use to be. Eyes holding something dark that scared you, you wanted to run and pull him off. You really did. But Toby barely looked human in that moment, blood covering his face as he continually wailed into Paul. Your team mates finally pulled them apart and when Paul stood you couldn’t deny the relief that flooded you as you quickly ran to Toby.

You ran through the corridors, your footsteps slamming against the ground and echoing off of the walls. Toby suddenly took over, dragging you instead. Surprise took over you and you tried your best not to trip as you both ran towards your home.

Luckily you didn’t live far away, having a small house your parents had left you. You both practically broke the door down and you paused to stare at the back of Toby’s head. “Yo-you could’ve killed him.” You choked out after a few minutes of silence.

“And so what?” He suddenly growled out, bloody face staring you down as his eyes bugged out. Rage was still burning through his veins, you could see his twitching worsen as his breathing got more laboured. He marched towards you backing you into a wall. His hands slamming either side of your head. “So wh-what, huh? Whu-what if i di-d-d-id!.” He slammed his palms against the wall as his stutter worsened. “What then?” His voice was normal, almost sounding hallow as he spoke. His dull brown eyes gazed into yours, you could see the unshed tears gathering in his lashes. You felt a warm heat flood inside of your chest, making a promise in that moment.

Your shaking hand came to rest on his cheek, causing him to flinch. Shock was written across Toby’s face. “I’ll always love you.” You took a second to clear your throat. “No matter what. No matter what wrong you do. I. Love. You.” You kept looking into his eyes, hoping with each word it’d work its way into his head.

Toby’s mind had went blank, his heart twisting almost painfully as he say the earnest look in your eyes. Shining, full of love for him. Toby pushed his lips against yours, tongue quick to push its way into your mouth. He gripped your ass tight and pulled you close together, grinding your hips together. His mood swings always threw you through a loop, this one happened to be the most unsettling. “You know who yo-you belong to r-r-ri-right.” He stuttered out, eyes glued to your face. You bit your lip. “I belong to Toby Rogers.”

That was all it took for him to yank your jeans down, scooping you up into his arms and press you against the wall as his tongue made its way down your throat. Moans poured out of you as he ground against you, your back scraping against the wall with the force. “Th-tha-ts right. Good boy.” He made quick work of his fly, his cock flopping out and hitting against you. All you could do was moan in excitement as Toby lined himself up, he found his way to your neck his breath tickling your skin. He licked his lips, tongue flicking against your skin and sending your body shivering.

“T-Toby.” You whined you, grinding down against his cock and moaning as he pressed against your hole. “Sti-still we-wett from this morn-morni-.” He cut himself off with a growl, slamming into you and relishing in your scream and the way your nails dug into his shoulders. Toby easily fucked you against the wall, almost acting as if you weighed nothing. You wondered whether it had to do with his disorder or not. Toby was quick to fuck any thought out of your brain, in love with the dumb mess you turned into when you had sex.

“Who ma-makes you feel thi-is good?” You kept eye contact as he used you like a flesh light. “F-fuck, Toby, only Toby. You!” You screamed out as toby railed into your prostate, eyes crossing as he fucked you stupid. Toby growled and bit into your shoulder, you let out a yelp. Pain flooded your neck and Toby pulled back to give you a bloody smile, the idea of being marked by Toby forever going straight to your heart and cock. “Do it! Ma-mark me up. Want every-on-one to know who i bel-belong to.” You moaned out, Toby’s thick cock wreaking you from the inside out.

You choked as your orgasm came quick, sending you screaming Toby’s name as you came on his cock. The tight heat of your ass was enough to make him cum, the feeling of you actually cuming on his cock is what sent him over the edge, desperately fucking into you. Part of him hoped he left a hole no one else could ever fill.

His knuckles went white as he clung to to you, deep breathing as he rode his high out inside of you. He fell into you, pushing you into the wall as you held him. Hand making its way into his fluffy brown hair, you tugged it lightly to get those beautiful brown eyes you loved so much to look at you. Everytime you looked into his eyes you felt breathless, despite the tired, cold, hardened look to them that had developed, they still made your knees weak. “I love you.” You whispered against his lips, slotting them together after he repeated his words to you.

[mademoisellekalopsia]

Five Minutes

|| CONTENT WARNING || Deep hiccups Yawn-hiccup Hint of Arousal So. Much. Kisses. Overwhelming and endearing moment Cuddling Spooning Mention of guilt Grunts and groans Pet names Case lasted for 15 minutes

|| KEEP IN MIND: Bedroom Setting A-Sleepyhead B-Morning Buddy

"Darling. Mmrr...time to wake up." [B spoke in a velvety, yet gruff tone, lightly rubbing a hand on A's arm]

"Mmm." [A shifts their legs] "No..." [Grumbling, scooting away from B]

"Come on. It's morning. Time to get out of the bed." [B whispered, moving closer to their spouse]

Wrapped in their shared blanket, A huffed, groaning as they stretched and scratched their cheek, eyes closed whilst B brushed their hair.

[A spoke in a murmur] "Mmmrr...Says who?"

"Says me, dove." [B kisses A's neck, their stubble grazing A's skin] "We can't stay in bed for long."

"Yes, we can." [A replied lazily, restraining to squirm from the tickling sensation of B's stubble]

"No. I know, but no." [B gruffly chuckled]

"Let's go to bed." [Reaching for B's hand to pull them close]

"We ARE in bed, darling." [Once A found B's hand, they cuddled]

"Under the covers. Just for a..." [Interrupted with a long yawn, smacking their lips]

"You said that many times." [B said in a gravelly tone, softly chuckling]

Engaging in a playful banter, A snuggled closer to B's front, seeking their warmth.

"You know how I get in the morning." [A's eyes are still closed as B looks down at them]

[B hums in feigned thinking] "Do I now?"

"You doooo." [A dragged their word in feigned disbelief, then dozed off again]

[B notices, a deep chuckle escaped their lips] "Babe." [B coos to them, trying to gently rouse A awake]

"Hey." [B softly uttered close to A's face, feeling a hand scratching their stubble, leaving them to chuckle more]

"MMMmmm...Hey." [B said again, now capturing A's attention as they slowly opened their eyes to look at B, eyes half-lidded]

"Hhh...hi." [A replied in an incoherent mumble]

[B took a deep breath, leaning close to A's scratches] "You slept in early."

"Then...I woke up." [A grumbled, groaning at the thought]

"Nightmare?" [B grew a slight concern in their tone]

[A shook their head lightly, bringing relief to B] "Toilet...and some water."

[B leaned in, breathing in A's signature and addicting scent, letting out a soft chuckle] "Ooh, I see. MMmrr...I suppose I should've let you sleep in a little longer."

[B presses their lips on A's forehead, A giving a reply] "Yeah, you should've. Just five minutes. Unless...you are considering to make it into hours then-"

"Now that's tempting. At the same time, no can do, dear." [B reasoned, finding A's request endearing]

"Why not?" [A softly asked, slightly pouting]

"Because you have done that before." [B brushes A's straying hair in front of their face as they converse]

"Mmmm...yeah? Well, sorry...mmm-not sorry." [B chuckled, shaking their head at A's laid-back, yet straightforward reply]

[B leans in to give A morning kisses, one on the forehead and one on the lips] "MmMmm..." [One last morning kiss on the forehead, hearty hums escaping both lips] "MmMMm..."

A stretched their legs, groaning as they lay flat on the bed, B gazes at them with endearment.

"Hmmh..." [B catches A again in their arms, A looking at them with half-lidded eyes]

"Hi." [B said again]

"Hey." [A chuckled at B's greeting, then scratches B's growing stubble again]

[B chuckled at their small playfulness in assumption] "Enjoying yourself there?"

[A nodded, letting out a big yawn] "HUAAawh...'scuse me."

"Big yawn." [B acknowledges]

"HHhh...you were...moving around in your sleep." [A mentioned]

"Was I now?" [B asked, A humming in confirmation] "Too much moving around? I hope not."

"MMmmno-no. Not too much, dearest." [A leans in to kiss B's lips, B accepting it, letting out a low grumble]

"You WERE half awake." [B replied in a gravelly tone, remembering as A did visit the bathroom]

Small moments like these are always appreciated in bed, specifically. Trouble getting up, a bit of conversation before starting one's day, A and B are enveloped with each other's solace. Despite the time running, A continues to scratch B's stubble, and the room is quiet for a few seconds.

"You love that, huh?" [B innocently teased] "Keep on playing with it."

"It feels good, right?" [A asked]

[B nodded in contentment, grumbling as if they were purring] "I'm glad..." [B lets out a deep, long yawn, smacking their lips together]

[As A continues to give a hearty scratch on B's stubble, B realizes something.] "Is this just your excuse to make me fall right back to sleep with you?"

"Is it working?" [A cooed, rewarding them for their quick deduction]

[B lets out a husky chuckle] "You rascal. Mmm...I'll let you have your fun, for now."

[A took a deep breath, sighing longingly as they enjoyed their sweet time while it lasted] "Being in bed with you is something I didn't expect in my life."

"Well, expect the unexpected, dear." [B leans in, giving a whiff of A's signature scent]

[B swallowed a lump which was audible for A to hear] "We'll have to get up in a little bit. M'kay?" [B brushes their fingertips on A's haggard locks]

[A huffed, still wanting to stay in bed, changing the subject] "Up to anything for today?" [A questioned, leaning to B's caress]

"Mmm-mm." [B shook their head gently] "Oh, I'm visiting the food bazaar later downtown. Want to come along?"

[A thought about it] "Hmm, I guess it wouldn't hurt to come. Sure." [B smiled, their hand now rubbing A's back to give some warmth]

"I went there yesterday. Lots of snacks, delicacies, meals, drinks..." [B paused to let out another deep yawn] "From around, hooah-nnnghhh...mmm-the world. 'Scuse me-"

[B was taken aback when they earned a deep hiccup on their chest after yawning] "Mmrr. HhhhHMP!-guh. HUP!" [B's eyes widened as they realized they were having a deep case, grumbling]

"Owh, my poor love." [A chuckled softly, kissing B's lips, receiving another deep hiccup that rocked their chest and stomach]

[B snuggled close, their head resting on A's shoulder as they continued to hiccup] "HUHMP!-mhmm. HMK!-MMK!" [B would let out soft grunts, smacking their lips to keep them moist]

[A closed the gap between them, rubbing a hand on B's back for comfort] "There, there. I got you." [A was flushing up]

"As I-HMP! I was saying. HIMP!" [B utters] "food and drinks-H'GULP! Nnn..."

[A kissed B's head, feeling a bit flushed] "They're quite...deep today, huh?"

[B tried to take a deep breath, snorting a hiccup halfway, letting out a long sigh] "HMMP!-buh, they a—" [B's head tucked in quick] "—are. Geez."

[B backed up, letting out a deep hiccup] "HUP! Sorry! Sorry, that was sudden-HMMP!" [They chuckled, rubbing their caving chest subconsciously]

"No-no, it's okay! Haha." [A rubs B's chest, a hand tucked under B's] "Uh...hiccups in bed. Again." [A said in a concerned, yet content tone]

[B notices A's reaction, how they are comforting B, who was hiccup-prone] "Mhm. A-HU'UHP! Again...they're going HMK! all out. What have I done? HMmMK! To deserve this?" [B said in feigned grumpiness]

"Big yawns." [A smiled softly at the thought, but they couldn't help but pause every time B hiccups]

"Relishing-HINK!-uh...in them?" [B whispered, another deep hiccup escaped their lips close to A's face]

[A could've sworn their ears are steaming, feeling the gears crank up] "A little. M'sorry." [They spoke in a slightly guilty tone]

[B shook their head, pulling A close to their spasming body] "Shh. No worries-HMmMP!" [A deep, silent double hiccup rippled B's body which A could feel every second of it]

[B looks down, seeing A's guilty face etched, giving A a warm embrace] "We can st—stay like this for a bit. HIMP! If you want."

[A looked up to B, pouting a bit] "You could use a cure right now." [They suggested]

"And HUMK! miss out on this? [Murmuring] Your HNK!UH!—Your darling flushed face? HMMP! Rubbing my chest?" [Chuckle-hiccuped, leaving a heavy grunt, but reassured A with a sheepish grin]

"I can deal a little de-HMP'MK! Deep case. [Grunts] Just five-HNK! five minutes of it will DO!" [Silent hiccup]

[A could feel B swallow another hiccup, their chest thumping once] "They are certainly making their presence known."

B arched their body, leaning to A's hand rubbing their sternum and stomach

"Mmmrr. You take such GUCK!MmHP! Mmm...good care of me-hhhHMK!Uh!" [B purred lowly, A could feel the rumbling on their chest against their palm]

"Just five minutes, then let's cure them." [A firmly said, feeling content and concerned for their beloved]

[B couldn't help but let out a croaky guffaw-hiccup, letting out a guttural groan after calming down] "We stayed in bed HMMMP! a little more than we agreed-" [Swallowed a deep hiccup, groaning at the action] "agreed on."

[Murmur-chuckle, feeling the thumps against B's chest and stomach] "I honestly can't complain." [A admitted, flushing rosy]

B's smile widened, giving hiccup kisses on A's face. The case persisted in deep rhythmic successions, leaving B to groan and grunt to a few, but it didn't made them uncomfortable. Just taken by the abruptness. In their shared bedroom, their bodies touched and cuddled under the covers, relishing in the cool room, rays of the golden sun peering through the curtains. A couldn't help but enjoy B's presence, alongside the hiccups, which B finds endearing to know and explore this side of A.

They felt appreciated. They both are.

[rius-cave]

I love all your adamsapple posts! As a fellow angst fan, would you mind givin an overview of all the angst at the beginning of the relationship? Specifically like Adam dealing with falling from heaven and stuff

Thank you so much! I love thinking about them hhhh

Hmm, if we're going for Adam dealing with being a fallen angel now, there isn't a lot of Adamsapple at this point imo (or at least not necessarily lol)

Well! If you didn't see it, I talked before about how I think Adam would go through something very similar to the five stages of grief. He would first not really believe that this is happening to him. Him? Adam? The first man who started it all, in hell? Impossible. There's probably some weird mistake going on here. But besides what I said in that post, yes, of course he would panic, be angry, etc, when he sees his newfound demon form. He probably doesn't have a lot of time to dwell on it at first, either because he starts getting killed by demons left and right, or because Lucifer had already found him etc etc. In any case, there isn't a lot of self reflection happening.

But then once things settle in, he sees his reflection for the first time, and it's upsetting. In my sinner!Adam design, his hair is completely black now, his horns are now real, his feet feel foreign for him (he hasn't yet seen that they're now hooves) and there's just... This heavy burden on his shoulders tells him his bad, it's the weight of the sins he's committed, but he doesn't recognize the feeling, he's never had to think about the justness of his actions before..

But he still thinks this is some kind of mistake, that either Lucifer or Charlie or even God is playing a prank of him, this isn't where he belongs. He keeps being a nuisance, an asshole, he's condescending and rude and doesn't take anyone, much less Charlie's hotel, seriously.

And then things progress, things change, he's now trying to "redeem" himself but he only half believes it. Or rather, he says he still doesn't believe it, but there is already a seed planted in his heart, that maybe, just maybe, they are all right and he really does deserve to be here.

This is nothing but a mere thought in the back of his head that he crushed every time it tries to resurface though. His conscience is catching up to him but he still won't admit any fault.

And then he sees his red blood for the first time.

Blood, thick and bright, with an unmistakable red color that he hasn't seen on himself for literal millenia. At this point he's been dead longer than he was alive, so it's only a distant memory. The truth finally manages to resurface in one big wave. Demons bleed red. Sinners bleed red. People that have earned the punishment of God bleed red. People that don't deserve kindness, that are damned to eternal suffering, that were deemed guilty, bleed red. He doesn't even get mad anymore. He doesn't cry, he doesn't scream, he just stays there, looking at the blood trickling down, his blood. And it finally dawns on him that he's here because of his own actions, because of his own evil. His body and emotions become numb and he goes on autopilot for a while, until he finally snaps. At someone, at something, it doesn't matter, anything to get rid of this stupid feeling that he's worthless and that he's never meant anything, that he's just stuck down here for eternity unless some angel has pity on him and kills him on the next extermination.

Luckily for him, he has people around him that know exactly what that feels like, and now, they're willing to help out. For real this time.

[foxett]

What's the swingset AU. I am hellbent on this AU rn and like pls yap about the lore 🙏

Aha.... Buckle your seatbelts this will take a while. (TW for mentions of s*icide, s*lf h*rm and death in general under the cut. Also omori spoilers. But that's probably to be expected)

Swingset was first an idea. Probably around early 2024??? I'm not sure but!!! I didn't actually plan to write anything about it until I got the idea for it and started writing the fic my last week of school (so it updates every wednesday)

The au itself... Hhhh yeah. Basically, the incident happens as normal, but Sunny doesn't have headspace and whitespace to slip into in his mind, and is fully aware the whole time Basil is doing the hanging and stuff or Mari. Sunny decides it's for the best and kills himself, hanging himself on the same tree Mari was already hanging on only like. Minutes later. (First chapter). Basil leaves before Sunny does that so he doesn't know it happens.

The rest of the gang (+ Basil is dragged along) and they find Mari and Sunny!!!! Yay!!! (Sarcastic yay) Anyways in short they react badly but Kel probably has it the worst because he's a little delulu in this au. Basil is close behind tho.

Kel twists the incident to Mari and Sunny making a swing and. Yeah. Au name!!! He also makes up fake versions of Sunny and Mari (and also everyone else, because the group fell apart) to hang out with. In other words, Kel needs a schizophrenia diagnosis. Everyone copes horribly (Basil. Well. Self harms. And generally is probably going insane.) (Hero bedrots like in canon but longer) (Aubrey bullies Basil at first but they make up and form a sorta sibling bond!) (not gonna spoil the exact thing but Aubrey will be traumatized further)

There's!!! A lot of stuff going on. Kel has all his fake friends (before the group reunited because of a certain incident!) - and also ghost Sunny and Mari (who age like ghost Mari does in canon because i said so) exist but they're not too important outside of the good ending.

I don't keep count but i think there's a total of 8 something's total. Canon something (Mari something, Maris hanging body), Sunny something (Sunny's hanging body), canon something (Mari at the bottom of the stairs, Basil's something), Noosething (Basil's extra au something (tying the noose which leads to Sunny's own suicide), Basil something (Aubrey's extra something. Not spoiling it for now...), Kel something (bad ending) and hero's very hd quality something's (he looked at the bodies too long ig)

Everyone has the sunny and mari somethings. Basil has 4 total. Hero and Aubrey have 3 (sunny, mari, their own bonus) Kel repressed his two but they still show up in the shadows sometimes :)

Basil is. Where do i start. He actually is completely delusional. Completely. More than Kel kinda. He also hears voices. He almost kills someone trying to kill himself (spoilers), and overall almost kills himself like. At least thrice. He doesn't take care of himself. At least Aubrey's there to help!

On a sorta wholesome note, everyone gets their hair dyed!! They do it to 'help' Kel to snap out of his delusions (it makes it worse) (kel does snap out of it at some point! But it might just be too late for it by then :) )

For the fic itself it's 11k ish words and 4 chapters at the moment.???? I have 20 chapters planned total plus two bonus ones so. Ouch. that's gonna be fun to write. I take the au itself seriously but the extra drawings i do for it... Ehhh not so much.

I have this gem of a doodle (vision basil and real basil) i frankly don't remember when i drew this. I probably was half asleep and it was like 2 am.

I plan to rework the old reference sheets i have and hopefully do the fifth chapter today and tomorrow! I don't actually wanna spoil much but definitely keep an eye out for some post!!!

Yippie! Read below ↓

mind the warnings (although since you made it this far, you probably don't care!!)

[marshmallowprotection]

OMGOMGOMG KAIT YOUR VAMPIRE RAY CONTENT JUST GOT MY HEAD BUZZING WITH BRAINROTS AND IDEAS HHHH okayokay so i dont remember which media is this from but its also related to vampire stuff where the vampire gave a locket with a few drops of their blood in them as a sign of courting to their significant other. what if we reverse that? what if mc gave the locket with their blood to ray as a keepsake or something?

I am so happy to hear that it's got your brain buzzing with all kinds of ideas! I love Vampire AUs. I've played around with it before in the past but this is the first time I've written one for Readers to enjoy the idea first, instead of me with my CMC content. Now, I've seen this idea in a few different pieces of media before but none of the ones that I've consumed firsthand.

So, so far, with everything that I've established in this specific universe, your blood is better than anything else in the world to Ray. It is so strong that he cannot go too long without it, because for whatever reason, you are the sweetest treat to ever come close to him and he is utterly insatiable after he gets to have a taste for the first time.

Even being away from you for long periods of time it's difficult because it’s not just your blood that haunts him. It’s your scent. The more time he spends away from you, the more his entire body begins to twitch and tremble, begging for the smallest piece of you to float his way. 

The desire inside of him grows stronger and stronger the longer he's away from you, and if he's kept away from you just long enough, it physically pains him. You are everything to him, and no amount of trying to drink other blood will erase that fact. So, in this case, would having a bit of your blood on hand keep him under control? That's an interesting thought piece. 

Because, on the one hand, having that around could help him in a pinch, and it might be just enough to keep him going so he doesn't show any sign of what you really are to him in front of his savior; On the other hand? What if that amount only serves to make him want more? What if it's just enough to make him lose control?

Because, he would do everything in his power to make sure he would never do such a thing, but if his instincts take over, there's only so much he can do to stop himself. And if he put you in a position where you got hurt because of that, he would never ever be able to forgive himself. Ray brought you to this place because the very last thing he wanted to happen was see you in misery. 

So, I think at the end of the day, it's going to come down to your choice. If you think it's a good idea to give him something that will give him the ability to tide himself over no matter how long he has to stay away from you, then you should do it. But, if you see that it's only making things harder for him, try and take it away. He might not let you do that.

It's not that he would want to tell you no, it's just that the idea of not being able to be with you at all, even with a part of you, feels wrong. He would do everything in his power to not drink everything in that vial, but it's possible he might just crack now and again and you'll have to refill it for his sake, even if he tells you not to, because you're just that kind of that person aren't you?

[itsohh]

One For the Road

A/N: Hhhh first thing I’ve finished for a while. I keep losing passion for the things I’m writing but I ended up finishing this at like 5am this morning with the ol listen to a song on repeat non stop trick.

Summary: Finally taking a break from work, Taina finds you having a good time at the organisation's 'unofficial bar'. At the end of the night, the pair of you plan to head home but one quick trip to the bathroom is required.

Word count: 2225

Warnings: Smut

AO3 Masterlist

It wasn't too often that she ended up in The Rec Room anymore. With her position as a squad leader, a lot of her time was spent agonising over details and plans. With Nøkk, Eliza Harry and Jordan all out of the picture there was much heavier pressure on her shoulders. It made sleep harder and the days longer. Yet, with the help of Yumiko, Gustave and Sam it was never too much. Yumiko was a solid strategist who worked well with her. Gustave allowed her work to continue without question or the limelight and then Sam was a rock that ensured that she made the correct decisions.

Sam also happened to be the one that made sure that she had a work-life balance. Which is why she was locked out of her own office. Sure, she could break in if she really tried but Sam gave her that look, one that told her to listen. "Go relax. Enjoy yourself. Working yourself to death isn't going to help anyone."

His words rang in her mind as she entered The Rec Room. It was more of a bar than a proper rec room, certainly not to normal regulation. It wasn't their proper rec room, it just had the same name. It wasn't part of their base, therefore, not against regulation. It was, after all, a public place. A public place that only Rainbow operatives knew about. A secret little underground bar that had plenty of business from them all.

Her first intention had been to hit up the bar for a drink but a group of loud laughter caught her ear. In the almost completely deserted bar, three people seemed to be enjoying themselves by the pool tables.

Ana, Max, and most interestingly, you. Taina's travelled to Ana who leaned against a post. She watched as you and Max dramatically sang and danced to the music. The pair of you seemed like you didn't have a care in the world while Ana was content to enjoy the display.

"I can't get her off of my brain." In a dramatic turn to face Max, the back of your hand flew to your forehead. A pained and closed-eye expression spread across your face. Max braced his hand on the side of the pool table and leaned closer to you. He had a fake shocked expression as he poorly sang the next line.

"I just wanna go to the party she gon' go."

Your hands fell out and your arms flew into a shrug. "Can somebody take me home?"

There was a pause between the pair of you as the song picked up. A devious grin spread across your face, one that was mirrored on Max's.

"Love me, hate me, say what you want about me. But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek Amy." The pair of you sang off-key at each other and Taina couldn't help the way her lips curled upward at the sight. Her silent footsteps had her approach and at first, only Ana noticed.

"Having fun are they?" Neither of the two women looked at each other.

"They said and I quote 'this is our song', I presume there's more to the story." Ana raised a brow and Taina pressed her lips together.

"It's not one I know."

"Are they like this often? We were playing pool." Ana glanced back to the table.

"All the time, it's one of the reasons they don't get paired up together very often in training."

"Why's that?"

"I imagine in a real scenario they would be fine but in training, they can't take it seriously enough."

"At least they know how to make the mood light." Ana smiled and Taina glanced down for a second.

"Hey, Cav!" Max's voice had you spin around and her eyes snapped up to meet his then yours. Your shoulders dropped and your smile drew into a large grin.

"Taina! You're finally out of your office." Your hand twitched slightly and she could tell that you were itching to hug her but refrained from doing so. You respected her public boundaries.

"I am. Sam made sure of that." Taina pretended to sound annoyed but didn't stop the slight smile on her face.

"Told you she would listen to him." Your hush voice spoke to Max and nudged him with your elbow. Taina raised a brow and you pretended to be innocent.

Taina didn't push the matter. "What are you two drinking?"

"Cranberry juice." You picked the glass off the high-end table next to you and Max showed her his bottle of Corona.

"How 'bout I buy you a drink Boss?" Max asked and Taina shook her head.

"Don't plan on staying too long." Her eyes met yours and the pair of you silently communicated.

"What about a game then? We have been killing Ana." Your hand emphasised your words alongside your voice. When Taina looked towards Ana she recover a shrug.

"They are surprisingly good at the game."

"It's because they spend all their time playing rather than practising." The scold didn't have any venom to it. It was a tease.

"Hey, you're his boss, not mine. I think Yumikos quite happy with my training  habits."  

Taina rolled her eyes at you and picked up Ana's cue that rest next to her. "Come on then, one game."

-

What started as a lighthearted game turned into something more. Sure, you and Max made a good team but Taina just happened to be good. Really good. What she really focused on though, was the way you bent over that table. Your eyes focused on the ball in front of you. Lined up perfectly, you were almost completely flush against it. With your leg hiked up on the table she got a decent view of your back. Just before you hit the ball, your eyes flicked up to meet hers. Your tongue darted out over your smiling lips.

In that second it seemed like all of eternity, a slow-motion moment that didn't stop. But you continued, with the wink of your left eye time sped up once again. Taina's breath hitched and she watched as you sunk the ball in.

A loud sound came as Max high-fived you. He bent over the table and one by one the pair of you perfected the entire game. A smug smile graced your entire face and your hand slapped into Max's once again. The pair of you pulled into each other and nodded.

"That's how it's done Goose." You laughed and he grinned back at you.

"Sure is." The pair of you basked in your glory before you turned to Ana and Taina.

"Good game ladies, maybe next time there will be a different outcome."

"Uh-huh." Ana folded her arms with doubt.

"Well, that was the one game."

"You off to hit the sack?" Max asked before he took a sip of his drink.

"It's late."

"Gotta get those eight hours of uninterrupted sleep huh?" You teased and licked your bottom lip before you continued. "I'm gonna head to the bathroom and I'll be right with you." The look in your eyes was all Taina needed to know.

"I'll come with you." Her eyes were of a predator and Max shrugged to Ana when the pair of you promptly left the pool table.

"See you later guys!" You waved over your shoulder and slipped off towards the bathroom.

The pair of you had barely stepped into the woman's bathroom before she was on you. Her soft lips pressed against your throat while her palms shoved your shoulders. The force had your back slam against the tiled bathroom wall. A moan escaped your mouth as your head tilted back. Eyes closed, the moan turned into a breathy choke before you swallowed.

Taina's hands found the side of your thighs where she pawed and squeezed at the side of them. Open-mouth kisses continued to litter your neck, she nipped and sucked on the flesh but not hard enough to leave a mark. With a solid grip on your thighs, she pulled them apart and slotted her body in between them. In the same motion, she lift you up off the ground and you automatically wrapped your legs around her waist.

"Is this what you wanted when you got Sam to do your dirty work?" Taina's voice purred out but there was also a slightly aggressive undertone to it.

"I- ngh -genuinely wanted you to take a break. We all did."

"All?" She pressed her clothed cunt against yours. No friction but the pressure started to get to you, joint with the manhandling groping she did on your thighs.

"Me and everyone in Ghosteyes. You come to bed so late and push yourself so hard."

"I always push myself hard." Her lips detached from your throat and made itself up to your ear.

"Yeah, but this is unhealthy hard. You’re just as bad as As-" You cut yourself off and the pair of you stiffened at the thought. "I might not be in your squad or a squad leader but I'm here for you Taina. I miss you." Your head lowered and your pleading eyes met hers. "We're a team." She paused and looked into your eyes.

Taina slowly leaned in, far softer and slower than all her earlier movements. Those soft lips finally graced your own and she poured all her emotions into it. It ramped up and your hand tangled in her hair. That kiss always a promise. Everything that had been building up over all the weeks finally came to a burst.

Your hand tugged at her hair and that was it. She practically growled against your lips and pulled you away from the wall. The cool touch of the sink basin made contact with the bottom of your thighs and Taina pulled away from your body. Your mouth gaped open slightly when she sunk down on her knees. Her hands grabbed the side of your shorts and pulled them down with her, you lift your hips slightly to help. Soon she had dropped your shorts on the floor, her eyes on yours for a moment before her focus was on your cunt before her.

Taina didn't bother to remove your underwear and only pulled them to the side. The cool hair against your cunt had you shiver and you gasped when her tongue ran the entire base against you. From the bottom of your lips to the top of your clit she firmly dragged her tongue against it.

Your hand flew to your mouth to prevent yourself from crying out her name. She had that smug look on her face but didn't repeat the motion. With two fingers Taina pushed your lips open. This time her tongue dipped into your cunt and lapped at your juices. Her mouth pressed against your cunt firmly and she sucked on you before she pulled back.

Caveira lets go of you for a moment and pushed her hair back. She stretched her neck slightly and found her grip on your thighs once again. You watched when she rolled her shoulders and then forced back in.

The tip of her tongue traced the outside of your lips. She dragged it against your entire cunt. The tip of her tongue made little kitten licks against your clit which had you bury both hands back into her head.

You bucked slightly against her mouth and swore out as she alternated between long swipes and more focused smaller ones. Each one firm against your cunt. Her nose pressed against your skin and you leaned against the mirror while she ate you would with everything she had.

One hand let go of your thigh and she pressed two fingers against your now swollen cunt. Already abused from her mouth, she started to rub it in circles. "Taina." Your moan of her name rewarded you with a light bite against the inside of your thigh. She always did love the way you dragged out the end of her name.

"Close aren't you?" Her tongue danced over her teeth with a smile. "Come on, you don't need my permission. Cum for me."

Her eyes stayed on yours as she expertly continued to run your clit. Your face shivered and you bit down on your lips to prevent yourself from crying out. A muffled whimper slipped through as pleasure tipped over the scales and you moved your hips against her hands. Your thighs squeezed shut and she had to catch them as you came.

"There's a good girl." She let go of your cunt and helped put your underwear back into place. A wet patch soaked through and she stuck her coated fingers into her mouth. With a humm, she sucked on your taste. "I'm sorry for making you miss me." Taina rose to her feet and nestled her way against you. The pal of her hand slapped against the mirror and she leaned in.

A slow wet kiss full of tongue shared with you, her tongue licked against your own and you could taste yourself on her. "I'll make it up to you." She promised and you let out a little whine.

"I want you to look after yourself." You murmured against her lips, only barely disconnected.

"Two birds one stone."

[sugoi-writes]

FUCK. I WROTE PART NINE AND HAD IT ALL READY TO GO AND THEN MY KID GOT HER HANDS ON MY PHONE AND CLOSED THE APP. THANK LUCIFER I HAD THE FIRST HALF SAVED AS A DRAFT BUT STILL. OTL sending this separate because I was paranoid she'd do it again and I would have to write the second part a third time 😭 also realizing I forgot to put my sig at the bottom of Pt.9

..... Annnnd of course, after pressing send I remember that I forgot to rewrite the part where reader chokes Alastor when they cum. just shoot me holy motherfucking shit

At some point I'mma just make these into a full blown PWP fic. It seems like they get longer with each installment 🤣 (I'm sorry btw, I always feel kinda bad whenever I leave long messages in anyone's inbox 😫

AYEEEE WELL YA KNOW WHAT THEY SAY - GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE!! 😘❤️‍🔥

It's a fitting pet name Hunny Pun! You're the queen of puns and you're so so SO sweet like a Honey Bun! is that icing or Alastor's jizz on you??? ... im so sorry i'll see myself out again 😭 CAN'T FIND AND KISS ME IF I FIND AND KISS YOU FIRST BABES~! ❤️❤️❤️

I can't hold on to my anonymity anymore guys so I'mma be making Pt.10 my reveal post~ it's killing me that I can't leave rabid fangirl messages on your works like you all do here for me! I really did wanna wait until I got the Smutmus Holy Trinity complete or at least in the revision stages but just- GAH! I NEED YALL TO KNOW HOW AMAZING I THINK YOU ARE. Beautiful beautiful minds, inside and out i can't even-!

Seriously though, I can't even begin to express how grateful and happy I am to have met any of you! And there are no words in the English dictionary (or any at all really) that I could use to describe what I feel about how accepting and supportive you've been! I could NEVER thank yall enough for helping me to find the joy in writing again. I love all three of you so much and I'm honored to call you friends!! 🥺🥰💋

- ☄️❤️ Smut Santa

False Alarm for the Next Part!! And honestly, thank God, the vibe is still not charged HAH--

Oh no!!! I'm so sorry that happened to you!! I had a similar experience when writing my part 2 to my Nun! Alastor fic. Fun fact: had to re-write it 5 times because I kept forgetting to save it. ;;_;; hhhh my baby fever is so bad I'm crying, but man, KIDS! What a little stinker 🥹❤️

Also, my ask box is usually super empty? Like, you could LICK the floor with how neat and empty it is? I LOVE messages? Even better if they long like Alastor's girthy fucking co--

We--We were- when we??? ALASTOR GETS--??? MY HANDS AROUND HIS???

*Danny.Exe has experienced an Error*

*Rebooting*

OKAY IM BACK--

☄️❤️Anon... babycakes. At this rate I'm gonna do more than fucking kiss you. I think we're past that now. And if you keep calling me 'Hunny Pun', or similar pet names, I'm just gonna jump your bones--

Hug you!!!! I meant hug you!!!

It's Alastor's jizz. It's canon-- NO DONT LEAVE I NEED TO KNOW HOW I GOT IT ON MY FAAAAAAACE

GUYS CODE TREAT, CODE TREAT, THE ANON VEIL IS DROPPING!!! ITS DROPPING DHDHDJDHDJ-- You will never gain a mutual as fast as you will then I SWEAR

☄️❤️!!! Smut Santaaaaa! 🥹😭❤️ Your mind is a beautiful, smutty, enchanting place!!! Knowing that you've been religiously cranking this out, while also having a kiddo... Seriously, how do you do it??? If anyone deserves the praise rn, 🎵it's you??? It's you, ITS ALWAYS YOU!!🎵 ❤️❤️❤️

Don't push yourself too hard! Please? ❤️ I will treasure these rare, scrumptious little treats for as long as I have brain cells left ❤️ I will call you friend until you tell me to quit or I lose my voice for good. And even then, my lips will keep moving and repeating the same thing until I'm blue in the face. ❤️❤️❤️ you are such a sweet, sweet, soul, and I can feel your vibes, and they are so wholesome! I can't wait to meet the person or sexual fiend behind it all! I feel like I speak for us all, and not just the main 3, but EVERYONE: everyone who has read your posts love you to bits. And they love your work to bits. Best believe when you publish your first work, we'll be there. En masse. And we will be EAGERLY returning the love you surprised us with.

Thank you for all that you do. On this post in particular, you deserve a foot rub, a forehead kiss, and a hug that lifts and spins you off your feet! 💗💗💗

Have a blissful, best of days you can have, dear! You deserve it! 💗

[indecisive-dizzy]

Any ideas for Howdy and Eddie? They are my special little pookies and I love them

I’ve been obsessing over Howdy x Eddie, that ship is just so fun to me and I love them (Frank can be part of the ship too, Frank/Eddie/Howdy is lovely too :3)

hhhh I'm so sorry but I'm brainrotting over my disabled Eddie au sobbbs but I will Try dang it

But first! DISABLED EDDIE IS SO 😭😭😭✨✨

I'm going to bite Eddie Dear. I'm feral and Unwell.

To me it just makes soo much sense??? I have shit coordination/balance and my life is hell and I want to project so hard. It's representation and it gives me Delicious angst and hurt/comfort opportunities.

phew ok ok ok,, hcs,, howdy,, eddie,,, ok,, i got this

They both will, would, and have eaten an entire head of lettuce. Howdy makes sense, bc he eats lots of greens already. But Eddie? bbg is so sleep deprived it's the only thing he can think of to eat.

They're rivalry is a Bit. They are the only ones aware of this. Everyone else thinks Howdy genuinely has problem with Eddie in regards to business but it's all jest! A joke, a charade, a whole ass Bit! They find hilarious!

Eddie swears more than you think. He just keeps it professional when working. Howdy wishes he could record some of Eddie's more,,, creative cursing.

By contrast Howdy doesn't swear that much, he's so used to being surrounded by little siblings + other family that he just,, doesn't think about it? ofc he'll swear occasionally out of shock, exasperation, or anger. he can say fuck, he just doesn't think to! he doesn't have an issue with swearing, either.

Shipping stuff,, ok!

The Bromance turned Romance Pipeline is Real. It would take a while for the others to notice they even started dating lol bc they keep it 'professional' during work hours.

Physical affection is both their love language. Oh My Golly. They are never Not in contact with each other. Cuddles are top tier holy shittt

Eddie also writes love letters bc he's a sappy goof and words of affirmation is his other love language.

Howdy has never received a love letter before and Swooned when he read the first one. He keeps them all in a special box by his nightstand <3

Bringing Frank into the mix? Hoo boy they are not ready. They are. But also not. If it's not Eddie holding his hand it's Howdy's on his back. If it's not Eddie holding him by the waist it's Howdy literally picking him up for a kiss. Frank is overwhelmed with affection all the time /pos

A sprinkle of angst, Frank may get sad from time to time bc they feel almost,, out of place in the relationship. Eddie and Howdy are incredibly close and have known each other longer than they've both known Frank. This causes some self doubt.

However Eddie and Howdy are Quick to shoo the thoughts away! The reassure Frank and smother them in affection! All praise and loving words. How much they love him, how happy he makes them, just everything about Frank Frankly they adore.

Over time this doubt fades away, Frank becomes confident in themselves, their love, and their Loves!

Literally the best wedding ever. Eddie and Frank combined forces to keep Howdy from turning it into one Big Advertisement lmao. It was great!

[elmaxlys]

No way I interacted with the Donato's mask post and now I have to talk about him ooohhhhh noooooooo *swooning*

1. About Donato and food: I just love how Amon is a picky eater but he really loves Donato's food. I like to think about Donato practicing a recipe over and over until Amon can eat it and cheerfully exclaimed "This is good!". He's no doubt a cruel, merciless, brutal ghoul but everytime he tries a new recipe, he secretly gets nervous and waits for little Koutarou's reaction, like this scene of Haise and Mutsuki

I think Donato actually enjoys that Amon eats a lot of his food (and maybe that's one of the reason why Donato couldn't get mad at him when he ate everyone's donuts). He takes pride in making his little boy grow up big and healthy, so one of his biggest concern when he's in Cochlea is if Amon is still eating properly or not.

2. Donato's smell: What do you think about Donato's smell? I don't have any idea about this but I like imagining about Donato being extra careful to clean out the smell of blood on him so his children wouldn't smell "something funny". Maybe he used scented candles in his room hmmm

Oooooh nooo I'm so sorry! Now I have to answer an ask about Donato, whatever shall I do :3c

1- YES YES YES YESSSS YOU GET IT. He cares about one (1) little guy but when he does he goes all out ❤

(I know all the kids got their bdays celebrated but hhhh you know?)

Imagine, post Anteiku-raid Donato, who knows his son is alive through whatever means Souta uses to keep him updated on stuff, but also knowing that he doesn't eat anything and Kanou has to force feed him. That he'll never be able to eat his beloved donuts either. I think about Donato coming up with ghoul recipes he can adapt to fit his boy's tastes if it ever comes to that, while knowing his son will never let him cook for him again.

2- I personally think orphanage Donato smells of incense. It fits with his activities as a priest + it's a pretty strong smell so I think it'd work well to cover the smell of blood. His hands smell of flour and cooking spices.

In Cochlea, he smells like whatever soap they let ghouls use, plus dust and sweat.

Once he gets out, he smells of the city fumes and either old wood or metallic (idk why but it makes sense okay). His hands smell of blood the most, tho it lingers on his whole body, as he no longer cares to scrub it off completely. His hands in particular, as he uses his clones sometimes and they're made of his fingers.

[getitfrenchship]

Hello, friends! Hope you're all doing well. In fact, I'd like to know what you're all up to so I can reconnect with friends again. What things are you watching/playing/doing now? Any new things in life you'd like to discuss?

Below the cut I'll say what I've been up to!

Just got back from my local con today and while I did spend a lot on game collecting + VA stuff, I'm glad I went. Thankfully I got paid Friday (though that means I'll have to wait to get paid again in 2 weeks) and my financial situation isn't dire. It's kinda like when you go to Disneyland and get caught up in the spectacle of things. Oh yeah, an IRL friend from high school helped me with a lot of the VA stuff since she had a VIP pass & could skip long lines. (On that note FUCK F//UNKO SCALPERS FOR HOGGING LINES AND MAKING ME WAIT 2 HOURS FOR ONE VA AAAAAAAAAA)

Thankfully, no insurance adjuster lady to drive me up the wall this past month at work. A few eh client encounters but overall it's been way more pleasant than it was a few months ago. ...Might still need to figure out vacation time just so I can take a longer break (and maybe find a government job if I'm able to find something so I have guaranteed holidays).

That being said, S//aimon's series is starting to see a spike of discourse and one of the servers I'm in keeps talking about it. It's making me feel bad as a result. Thankfully, none of the people in it are starting the discourse, but they tend to go "getaloadofthisguy" a lot. Along with usual self ship discourse that I see on my dash (that again thankfully neither friends nor I directly participate in), it kinda just drains me.

Seasonal anime I'm watching are Detergent (hopefully one of Shitsui's big scenes will happen next week; they took a break this week), Und//ead Mur//der Far//ce, Hel//ck (though I'm admittedly not really paying attention to this one), Happy Marriage, J J K season 2 (i am not ready for this arc AAAAAAAAA), and Z//om 100. When there isn't a seasonal anime for me to watch at work, there's Sai//ki K (I think watching Bla//ck Lag//oon kinda helped make me more bitter at work, but I'm feeling better now that I'm watching Sai//ki). Oh, I might check out OPLA since I hear it's an actual good adaptation. Aaaand F//ionna and C//ake too! God, I went "kindred spriits" with Simon's episode

Currently I'm playing Se//a of St//ars and I really like how it looks & plays so far! (Of course, I loved Chr//ono Trig//ger, so the gameplay feels right at home). I wooould continue Gh//ost Tri//ck, but I'm at a stealth section and like I expected, I'm looking up a lot of the puzzle solutions online instead of figuring it out for myself. Curse you, time limits!!! (And for Bom//b R//ush, I feel like I need to play with music, but I keep forgetting to bring my wired headphones. Bluetooth is for my phone mainly due to personal preference). I also watched the endings for OT2 and AUGH I LOVE THIS GAME SO MUCH!!!

Oh, a new manga I found called "Inv//isible Man & his soon to be bride" is cute so far.

someday i will find balam merch. somedaaaay

I might do a separate post showing my current ideas for S/I's/OCs, but hhhh I'm hesitant. Right now I just know for a P3 OC he takes inspiration from "The Stranger"

boy howdy i sure hope bluesky finally makes my account or i can get an invite because i really want tweetor to die. ...though i'd miss posting switch screenshots directly

[coughdontfeelwellcough]

Sicktember - I shouldn't be worried about you, but for some reason I am

Fandom: my own ocs Sophie and Casper

Words: 1311

Author's note: Part two of a trilogy with these two.

Part 1 Part 3

Hope you enjoy!

The Nook was a bookshop in an almost forgotten corner of Notting Hill in London. The shop itself was cosy and warm, sandwiched between a bakery and an empty building which had been abandoned so long ago that nature had mostly reclaimed it. Normally Casper was happy to be the one to open the little shop. He loved working at The Nook, helping customers find the specific books they were looking for and on quiet days he could sit in one of the comfortable chairs and just read until it was time to go home. However on this particular morning Casper wasn’t in the best mood, he’d woken up with a sore throat and a stuffy nose, a sure sign a cold was on its way. 

The door to The Nook was old and heavy, made of wood that had been once painted a bright blue though it had been mostly faded by the sun. Casper sniffed as he pushed it open, groaning as the weight of the door fought against him. He was thankful it was warm inside, the early morning sun streaming through the windows and making the place feel cosy. 

“Morning, ‘ole girl,” Casper greeted, clearing his throat. 

He always liked to greet the shop when he arrived, especially on a Monday when they’d been closed. It was like greeting an old friend though sometimes Casper wished the old building could reply, sure it would have plenty of its own stories to share. 

Casper set about getting the shop ready to open, turning on all the lights, sweeping the floors and putting the change in the till. It was a natural routine, one he’d been doing on his own for the last two years. Casper didn’t own The Nook, that pleasure was held by a Mr Henry Ludwig. Mr Ludwig was a nice man in his eighties, he’d been running the shop for many years and had hired Casper two years previously but as he’d been getting on he’d started leaving the day to day running to Casper, only popping in now and then with new deliveries and occasional words of encouragement. It had been just over a week since his last visit and Casper wasn’t worried, they’d had a new stock of Agatha Christie’s arrive over the weekend that would keep them going for a while longer. 

Casper finished sweeping up and was about to turn around the open sign on the door when he felt a tickle in his sinuses. 

“Hhh…HhNTGH-shh! HTSHH-httshw.” he sneezed into his elbow. 

Urgh. 

Casper hated being ill, it reminded him of being a sickly kid. He was always the first one down and the last one back up. He could still hear his mother scolding him as he came from school with yet another cold. Just then there was a knock at the door and his first customer of the day had arrived. 

“Hello Casper,” Mrs Hudson was a woman in her seventies who came in every day to see the new books and to chat while she waited for her knitting group to start. 

“M’borning,” Casper replied, his voice already sounding stuffy. 

“Anything new over the weekend?” she asked, peering at the shelves nearest the door where he always put the newest releases. 

“Just a bo… box… off.. hhHH-HNGHH-eww… hhHH-ISHHHwww!” 

Casper sneezed into his wrist. “Sniff Sorry… A box of Agatha Christie’s,” 

“Bless you! Oh shame, I read all those in the seventies,” she replied. 

Casper sniffed thickly, he could already feel the congestion building in his sinuses. 

“Sounds like you’ve got a bit of a cold, remember the saying dear; feed a fever and starve a cold.” 

“Yes, thank you Mrs Hudson. I’ll remember that,” 

Mrs Hudson continued talking to him about her grandsons as he straightened up the autobiographies until it was time for her knit and natter club to start then she was off, wishing him well as she went. 

Casper continued about his daily routine, walking loops around the shop, tidying books as we went. It was never partially busy in The Nook and even less so on a Monday morning, he’d been open for over an hour before he sold his first book, a copy of a new Lee Child to a commuter who gave Casper the most disgusted look when he’d sneezed while handing him his change. His cold was really starting to take its toll, his head had started to pound and his throat felt like he’d swallowed glass. But before Casper could find himself a comfy seat and a book of his own the bell rang, signalling another customer. 

“Hey Casper,” 

He turned to see the girl from the bakery next door, she was holding a takeout cup and brown paper bag. If Casper had been able to breathe through his nose he’d been able to smell the rich coffee and pastry. 

“Hi Sophie,” he rasped. 

“I got concerned when you didn’t come in for your usual order so I thought I’d bring it over, is everything alright?” she asked. 

Casper hoped his blush wasn’t too evident on his pale complexion. He’d been going into Sophie’s bakery every day for breakfast since he’d started working at The Nook, and in those two years they’d gotten to know each other quite well. 

He knew that she’d taken over the bakery three years ago from her Abuela and how’d she’d been around baking her whole life, and she knew how much he needed his books and his coffee to function. 

“I’m fine, just got a bit of co.. hhHHhhH-HHTTSH-tisw.. hh..hh..Col…hhHH-HSSHH-Eww.. A cold.” Casper ducked away to sneeze harshly into his elbow. 

“Bless you! Are you alright? They sounded like they hurt,” Sophie asked. 

“hhuuhhHGITZHH… hhh-UHH-GITZT…Ugh.” he could really feel the congestion settling in, making him feel headachy and dizzy. 

“Jesus, bless you again. What are you even doing at work? I’d have called in sick,” Sophie asked, putting his coffee down on the counter. He wanted nothing more than to drink it but the pain in his throat said otherwise. 

“No one to call,” he rasped weakly,

“Still.. Wouldn’t you rather be in bed?” 

Casper shrugged, running a hand under his dripping nose. He hadn’t felt that bad when he’d gotten up but his cold had been steadily getting worse and yet the idea of going back to his lonely little flat left him hollow. 

“The books are good company,” he coughed. 

Sophie gave him a look that might have been sympathy, he was used to being alone and dealing with illness alone was just one of those things. Most of the time he just got on with it and figured it would go away on its own. Which worked out fine, till it didn’t.

“Okay, but, just look after yourself. It’s just I shouldn’t be worried about you but for some reason, I am. Especially after that laryngitis you had a few months ago, you were miserable.”

Casper felt his heart clunch or it might have a cough. “I’ll be okay, it’s just a co… HUSHH-TEWW… HHHuhhh.. HITISS-hEWw.,” he sneezed before breaking into a productive cough. 

“Bless.. Just promise me you’ll go to a Doctor if it gets worse.” 

Casper nodded,coughing against his wrist. He was starting to feel really lousy and wanted nothing more than to curl up with a book and sleep off this cold, but for some reason he couldn’t stop his heart from pounding. 

“I won’t, I promise. Then where would I get my coffee?” 

She smiled. “Feel better Casper.” 

“Thank you Sophie.” She waved goodbye and left the shop, the bell dinging as she went. 

The rest of the day went on as they usually do; the customers came and went with their books. Casper soldered on, despite his cold leaving him sneezy and drippy, the thought of the girl next door keeping him going. 

[landscaping-your-mind]

March, 2023

I MEANT TO DRAW SOMETHING HHHH

Istg, if the only art I make for this whole relisten is for fatigue I'm gonna cry.

Anyway, 152 time!! I love 152, I love Jon and Helen, I love the parallels, I'm excited, ohhh this is so cool we're heading to like fantastic episode WAY TOO MANY NOTES ones really quickly (too quickly, i want to draw something for 160) and yeah! Yeah! Oh god it's almost season 5.

Below is a mixture of amazing words - mostly Jonny's /j (i have some as well) - and rambling. I love this statement so. much. now.

@a-mag-a-day!!!

I'm putting a content warning for I think it's unreality, cause I talk a bit about... not being able to trust yourself, and that could be... not grand for some people.

Statement of Hezekiah Wakely, regarding his career as a gravedigger. Compiled from a series of letters to Nathaniel Beale between 1837 and 1839. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, the Archivist.

Who's Nathaniel Beale? I feel like I've seen his name before. Unless, of course, it's another Michael situation. There's... Nathaniel Thorp and Nathaniel Lukas. Hmm.

I’ve been installed here some weeks now, and I’m finding myself well-contented, my sexton duties keeping my time employed such as I scarce have a chance to allow myself those dark thoughts that so concerned you when last we visited.

What thoughts, I wonder. It probably mentions it further along, but I haven't really paid attention to this statement enough to be sure. For a while I thought it was "A Gravedigger's Entry".

The Lord gave him that voice for a purpose, no doubt – but sometimes that purpose does feel like it might be providing me a few minutes of unearned slumber

Hehe

My troubled sleep, on the other hand, has not, of yet, resolved itself in any way to my satisfaction. I work myself to exhaustion, cleaning, polishing and looking after the church proper, and I tell you, when I lie abed I can scarce rise again for the weakness I leave myself in. And yet, sleep still eludes me.

Heh, real. I too cannot sleep.

I’ve never quite known a rest like it. Perhaps it is the harder, more physical aspect of the task, or perhaps the quiet rhythm of it. There’s no echo as there is in the church, just the sound of pick and shovel hitting dirt. And when it’s deep enough, when you stand at the bottom, the noise of the world just… fades away to nothing. It is the sort of quiet that makes you feel as though the commotion and hubbub of life were but a terrible dream, and in sleeping you were waking up to peace.

BLANKETS ARE NOT ENOUGH I NEED TO BE BURIED ALIVE

That just sounds so?? Nice??? HHhnhnmhn

There is such peace in the churchyard, you see: to walk atop the soil knowing that, deep below my feet, those blessed souls wait happy and silent in the cool, damp earth, counting the days until the Resurrection. It gives me such warmth to think of that I have taken to spending much of my unoccupied time wandering the graves, and, where the mood allows me, taking my sleep there.

That is creepy, but like... I mean... I can understand it? It's nice to be outside in nights that aren't too cold, it's nice to sleep under the stars, the creepy part is the fact that it's a graveyard, but that can be brushed aside.

But I do long for that rest. I tell myself I wake each day renewed, but I am never as truly satisfied as when I’m in my slumber, and insensible to the world.

This statement is making me want to go to sleep and/or be buried in the dirt.

I do find, however, that when I dig my graves, I have been going deeper. And at times, I worry I might dig so far as I can no longer get out with my meager ladder. Now, those moments – you must not cast judgment on me for this, Nathaniel, for it is simply a passing fancy – but I will often lie myself down on that soft earth, and I will sleep. And I swear to you that the sleep I find there is more blissful than any I have ever found.

A Gravedigger's Envy? He's getting the nice grave sleep, I want the nice grave sleep, how is Jonny making grave sleep sound so appealing?

At least until a few feet down. But by the end of it… oh, I tell you there was warmth in that grave. Whether by my own body or the heat of the soil, I couldn’t say, but it was as comfortable as the fireplace of a public house, and the wind could not reach me in the hole that I had made.

I want that, I really want the grave sleep, that sounds so nice.

I had a dream, then. I dreamt a rain had come. A terrible bitter rain that chilled my bones and turned the soil around me dark and sodden. The walls grew damp and slippery, their firm shape lost as they began to slip and crumble. And then all at once they collapsed, the grave filling in a moment with a wave of mud and wet dirt. In a single terrible moment of utter terror, it was atop and around me, covering my face and filling my lungs with its awful choking sod. And the strangest thing was that it was wonderful. I had never felt such safety as within the crushing weight of earth all around me, the pressing embrace of the buried. In that instant I knew what it was to be dead, and I ached with envy for them.

Ok, hi, I saw a post, and I was thinking about the post, and I'm going to make a vague rebuttal (friendly-like, because they had good points). Hezekiah was afraid before the walls crashed around him. He was not afraid of some other terror, he was afraid of being buried - in the dead way or the forever deep below creation way... I don't know. Seems to be both, fear soup, remember.

The dreamers that have no idea what Smirke's fourteen is, or the supernatural, still affect the dream. Hezekiah associates being buried with being dead, and therefore the fears affect him as if being buried and being dead were similar things. I'm guessing quite a lot of people fear destruction and associate that with their fear of fire. Spiders and control for the aesthetic and also little bug guys fear being trapped when they're in a spider's web. People fear judgement when they're being looked at. (Speaking of, I swear at the shops today everyone was looking at me, like I saw them look at me, I felt their eyes on me, I associated this with the fear of judgement, and was appropriately spooked. What is this, episode 188 of The Magnus Archives?)

Anyway, back to this, Hezekiah's fear transformed into what Hezekiah became. Similarly, Martin - he was afraid of being alone, abandoned, and afraid of being found out. He became an "avatar" of The Lonely and The Eye. Also, would Martin's fear of being alone and being judged overlap, or feel similar? Is this why he gets both?

Mike was afraid of the part of The Twisting Deceit (The Spiral) that chased him, but he also had encounters with The Vast before Ex Altiora, he was afraid of the unfathomable power of that which chased him, he said that the form it took belonged to The Vast, the way he describes the pain of being struck by lightning - how it is so painful that to try to measure it is impossible. That's all pretty Vast-y to me.

Jane... Jane was afraid of the Hive. She didn't want it, she was afraid, she went to it... sure, she was lonely, but looking at her statement, how much of it is the Hive - if we're separating the two - and how much is Lonely? She talks of picking at her skin, of worms that emerged from the ground after rain, of an itch that called her to the attic, to the wasp's nest.

Sure, something chased them to becoming an Avatar, but I wouldn't go so far as to say it's "another fear" both because fear soup and because... a lot of their stories are about being repulsed and terrified by something, but getting so caught up in it that you forget that person who was scared, and you hurt others just how you've been hurt. Cycle of violence, babyyyy!

For an example, let's grab Peter and Martin. Peter's from the family of... basically a cult? Sure, he doesn't seem too bothered by it, but humans are social animals, and he was neglected for his whole childhood, that fucks people up @ the person who said yea Peter's childhood was actually fine. Then he becomes an avatar of the Forsaken and manipulates Martin into becoming an avatar of The Lonely in turn, who then - in the Eyepocolypse - hurts people in his domain. It's not one to one, but no analogies are.

I’ve been thinking, Nathaniel, of funerals and bodies. Souls that escape leaving this common clay to become one again with a truer clay. Were we not created from mud? And it seems more fitting to me that we should return forever to that mud, not pulled from it by some would-be Redeemer, or lifted to sing hosannas in his holy court. I’ve worked so long, so hard. Do I not deserve a rest in the mud from which I came? Commit my body to the earth and let it stay there. I’d do the same for you. For worship of the Most High - though it may be earned, perhaps, by He that made the heavens and the earth - well, to my mind, all that prayer still sounds a lot like work.

The difference between this and the beginning. Speedrunning his decent, as it were. The difference between envying the dead, and their rest before they go to Heaven, to wishing that when he leaves the world he stays in the ground. Hmmmm!!

But He is the son of God and we are merely sons of the dirt. We are not as strong as He is, and we deserve rest. We deserve to sleep.

The Buried oft represents being metaphorically under pressure, as Hezekiah is. He wishes to be Buried to finally rest from his work. That's interesting to me.

Also, feels sort of Flesh-y, but in a way where it's like... yes, soup, is not the fear of being one and the same as animals, as already being dead, as being from the earth and knowing one day you shall return all part of the same thing? Is that not a similar fear? Feels like one to me. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, that's about death, that's about the earth, are they not one and the same? We all come from the same earthen roots, people, animals, plants, everything, we are the same, and we will die the same.

I’ve been trying to sleep, but that bell kept ringing, the one over Jacob the baker’s grave. That nonsense safety valve the Reverend insisted on putting there, ringing and ringing, and disturbing the sleep of everyone in the churchyard. I’ve no doubt it disturbed Jacob as well, who worked so hard all his life and never thought to complain of his lot. He deserved to rest. So I cut the cord. And now he is quiet.

Oh, lord, he buried Jacob alive.

But I can see why he did it. He fears being away from the earth, he fears not being able to die, and so he sees it as saving Jacob and I understand that, I can understand that in his position, robbed of restful sleep, the grave being the only place where he can find his rest that he would do this.

I think this statement has just achieved the rank of "one of my favourites," because... that line. "He deserved to rest. So I cut the cord. And now he is quiet."

But worry not, Nathaniel. The love I bear you will not let me leave you ignorant. As I did with the Reverend, I will come and I will show you, once and forever, the true and glorious peace of the Buried.

Wow. Just... wow.

Nathaniel Beale is buried on the grounds of St. Peter’s Church in his hometown of Dunstable. And I am only the third person to know that in almost 200 years, after Nathaniel Beale himself, and Mr. Wakeley, the person who buried him.

Hey, we're still getting post-statement spookiness, but because everyone's just stopped doing work it's with Jon's eye spookiness.

I... wow.

I cannot tell how much of the change that comes over someone when they are taken by one of the Fears is a direct product of their influence, and how much is their own mind, desperately contorting itself to accept and justify the awful things they find themselves drawn to doing.

I have a really good quote that ties in with this, but it's only in the deluxe transcript of Hive (patreon exclusive transcripts that have Jon's notes and are canon, the Hive one is the most emotionally ruining of the ones out (1 - 33 as of 22/03/2023) so far), but I will say that his attitude towards them has changed significantly as he's... become one.

He called Jane Prentiss "the entity formerly known as Jane Prentiss" and now... hm...

It's interesting how his understanding or conception of avatars and the like changing over the seasons, and although season 4 doesn't have a lot of other avatar interactions... Jon's whole humanity thing, it's enough to make it my favourite season when it comes to this stuff.

I have read many statements now by those who are changing, who are becoming – something else, and few if any of them seem… entirely rational. Entirely the people that they were before.

GIDDY LEG WIGGLE LIKE HHJNNHNHEHN!!! Humanity and identity and monsterhood and trauma!!! The THEMES of this podded cast, I'm love, I'm love!

But how can I tell, I suppose. My job is to view people at their lowest, their most fearful and unstable moments. Perhaps there is less change there than I imagine. Certainly, I don’t feel different. I have no desire for pseudo-religious philosophizing, or delighting in the suffering of those I harm. Then again, I suppose I’m hardly in the best position to judge. Perhaps to anyone listening to these tapes I sound remarkably similar to Hezekiah. Or to Manuela. Or to Jane.

So, I talked about this to my (middlest) sister because sometimes when you're this excited about things you just have to talk to people, like actually talk, and I had some pretty good thoughts about rationality, about if you can know if you're a monster. If you're slipping and you can't trust your mind anymore, how can you trust your mind enough to know that you can't trust your mind? It's just, how can you know you're so far gone, if you can't trust you, then you can't trust trusting you, therefore you can never truly trust yourself, can you? Everything is your perception, and you will never know if you can trust that. You will only know that you can't.

I just think that it's very neat, the whole... everything, all of this, it's just really cool, like how would Hezekiah know he's wrong to be responsible for the death of Jacob, for the Reverend, for Nathaniel? Does he? How does Jon know if he's just like Hezekiah, how can you truly know yourself - or understand yourself? Oh boy, this is such a cool statement and post statement.

HELEN Hello, John. Been a while since you’ve been down here. ARCHIVIST (Impatient noise) I didn’t come here to see you. HELEN Oh, come now! I’m sure I’m more interesting company than the late Jane Prentiss. ARCHIVIST It’s all that’s left of her now – apart from a jar of ashes in my desk. Just a circle of rotten stone on an otherwise-unremarkable wall.

Is the circle of stone a mirror? Is the jar of ashes as much a part of you as your rib? What was she trying to achieve, you wondered so long ago and now you have the answer and you still don't know why... why she listened to the song in her dreams, why she scratched the itch, but then again, why did you?

HELEN (Cont.) Ah… But that’s not why you’re here, is it? ARCHIVIST Yeah. I’ve been thinking a lot about Jane. She was the first, you know. The first I actually encountered like… like us. She seemed so… inhuman. Like everything she used to be was stripped away. HELEN And now…? ARCHIVIST I wonder how much of her was still in there. How much did she choose to be what she was? I read her statement, she was… (inhale, exhale) she was scared. I assumed she’d been possessed completely against her will, but now I’m not even sure that’s possible. HELEN It is astounding the sort of thing you’re willing to choose – given an unpleasant enough alternative – isn’t it? ARCHIVIST How much of willpower is just – safety? “Comfort” by another name. The option to choose and be fine.

THEMES OF CHOICE AND HOW MUCH YOU'RE AFFORDED!!! God, I love this so much! I love how Jane Prentiss, our and Jon's conception of Jane Prentiss changes from season 1 to season 4. How it starts with her as an inhuman enemy, no longer the person she was, and changes to be... what was she, why did she chose this, who was she, she's humanised as Jon becomes a monster, knows her. Understands her.

She was scared.

Good lord.

And then Jon's line, "How much of willpower is just - safety. Comfort by another name. The option to choose and be fine." and that choice isn't really afforded to them, it's always these hard choices with one option that's like "at least you don't die", or live in fear, or whatever. The option to choose and be fine.

Themes. So many themes, I love this bloody podcast.

HELEN Hungry, are we? ARCHIVIST (Angrily) That’s not – – I haven’t done anything – HELEN – yet. ARCHIVIST (Roughly) I feel like if I don’t… I might die. Fade away into nothing. HELEN … Do you… Know that? ARCHIVIST No. But I… (frustrated noise) I can’t die. They need me. HELEN Come on, Jon, no excuses. (The Archivist sighs.) HELEN (Cont.) They don’t need your protection.

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY, JUST PODDED CAST!!

ARCHIVIST When does it stop? HELEN (Impatient) What? ARCHIVIST The guilt. The misery. All the others I’ve met, they’ve been – cold, cruel. They’ve enjoyed what they do. When does the Eye (inhale) make me monstrous? (Helen laughs.) HELEN What – why would it ever do that? ARCHIVIST I don’t… HELEN When has your guilt, or your sadness, or your handwringing ever actually stopped you from doing what it wants? ARCHIVIST (Stammering) I-I – I have not been taking statements – HELEN You’ve sworn of other people’s trauma for now because you’re caught. Because continuing would endanger you. But other than that, when has your discomfort ever actually stopped you walking the path of the Beholding? ARCHIVIST I… I don’t know… HELEN Even if it were capable of doing so, what possible reason would the Eye have to change how you feel, when it makes no difference to your actions? Helen was like you, at first. She felt such guilt over taking people. Until one day she realized she wasn’t going to stop doing it. So she chose to stop feeling guilty.

OK FIRST OF ALL SOMETHING I CAN DEAL WITH, SIMILARITIES AND DIFFERENCES BETWEEN JON AND HELEN! Helen went to Jon for help with the guilt, and Jon turned her away because he was scared of what he was becoming. Jon asks Helen when the Eye makes him monstrous and she says no, it's not the Eye that'll do that, it's you. You have to decide to stop feelings guilty about the monstrous things you're doing.

Secondly, *gestures* yeah fr fr! I don't even... I just need to listen to this over and over and have it burned into my mind please :3.

Yeah, well, wow! Yeah! For real for real, this is just like 111, I'm discovering a new love for this statement, I need to make a new "holy shit tma" playlist because. Wow. Wow! Mhm hm! WOw!!! Uhh, well, uhm.

Your most humble servant,

landscaping-your-mind

[zhuhongs]

hhhh, so like.. where to start. So getting a job, I really told myself I'd be working 2 weeks after returning home and It's been almost a month at this point and fucking nothing, and like. I just feel like I really should've started so much sooner and been more serious about this and now it'slike.. the money is catching up to me and I just really want to get a decent job. Like i want something in my field. I don't want to take a job that I know I can get but I hate. Bc like my plan was to go back to my old job and just grind through that until I find a suitable job, but I know myself and I know that I tend to get comfortable with what I know and things that I intend on keeping as temporary end up dragging on for way longer than I intend for and like, I can't keep doing that. So, I'm trying to get something more steady and better, but man its a lot and like the pressure is growing as my mom keeps reminding me that we have bills and I'm trying to find a job while managing my personal growth and trying to get out of my shell and do more with my life but doing that stuff requires money and time and I just, can't trust myself to believe in everything working out, like I wont let myself do anything I want or that seems slightly risky unless it was perfect from the start, bc Im scared it will always go wrong so I need to ensure I protect my chances of success as closely as possible even though i KNOW failure is part of growth and its in my best interest to fuck around and find out and course correct and learn how to get what I want and I'm forcing myself to do it, but man, its hard. and scary. But yea

[kosi-annec]

[HAIKYUU!!] Season 3 episode 9

Why's yachi just waiting outside? C'mon yall let her in too

Ooh flashback to the training camp arc back *checks google* season 2!? Goddamn, I don't think i remember much from then lmao

"he looks so calm" uhh kiyoko those eyes don't speak 'calm' to me, kinda looks like he's contemplating revenge hskshsk

Back to present, WHERE CAVALRY HAS ARRIVED!!

LMAO god this bg karasuno fan trio is great, those guys probs become like sports friends after this

Everyone's so shocked that tsuki basically demanding to be put back in lol, this is probably the closest to begging we'll ever see him

Aww HSKHSKS that lil interaction between hinata n tsuki

Oh another bald guy? Why is that hairstyle so common in the haikyuu universe??

HHHH COME ONE CROWS KEEP IT UP! YES NICE ONE KAGE, Bought enough time for our shield to get back in!

Honestly kazuhito did really well for someone who's not played with this much high stakes before, he was able to keep his cool for almost the entire time

Karasuno's bout to make a comeback this round now that tsuki's here!

DON'T FUCK THIS UP ASAHI, YA GOTTA GET A POINT W THIS SERVE! Agh, that's fine just don't let it drop- oh SHIT TSUKI ARE U GOOD???

"... that he was just a lengthy apathetic nerd" i mean, that assessment is still kinda correct oikawa LMAO

YASS TSUKI YOU'RE DOING SO GOOD!! Omg he called noya "nishi" HE USED A NICKNAME! OMG HE TRICKED TENDO!! HIT IT TANAKA- LETZ GO MATCH POINT!!!

Mmm yeah, that's wat makes karasuno a dangerous team. They're not like the big leagues who stick to a kind of play style. Due to the new-ness of Karasuno, they're willing to adapt and try any new tricks if it means they become a stronger team. "The reckless crows" ngl that sounds kinda cool for a title

"..can you please stop calling me that?!" "Sure, how's you're a piece of shit then?" "FINE, PIECE OF CRAP" omg it's this scene HSKHKS

Oh shit yeah, those 3 have been the main guys that do the synchronized attack, god that must hurt their legs..

"..you meant that like while you were still useful right?" SHEESH SHIRABU, but yeah he has a point, he can't always be tossing to ushi

FINAL STRETCH, COME ONE KARASUNO GET THIS POINT

AAAaa fuck, it was out. Shit, ushi's up- OMG IT WAS ALSO OUT

From wat i understood from tadashi's mentor (idk his name), being able to commit to big risky plays like is more for psychological warfare if anything

hhhh everytime tsuki uses his hand i cringe for him. COME ON HINATA ONE TOUCH THIS! FUCK- they jumped too soon

They're tied again... ONE OF YOU JUST WIN ALREADY, PREFERABLY KARASUNO

OK crows got another point, now don't fuck this up kage. SHEESH that serving animation tho, with that camera turn? Smooth af

CHANCE BALL GET IT GUYS, SCORE THAT POINT!! FUCK- HINATA NO NOT AGAIN, that looked too similar to when karasuno lost to seijo before, when hinata got blocked

uh oh, yeah they got a point but I don't think tanaka can hold on any longer

Huh?? OH fuck even HINATA is getting exhausted, he couldn't even jump. This is bad...

aaAAA NO NO NO- omg GOOD SAVE NOYA! holy sHIT HE DID IT AGAIN!? GET DOUBLE RECEIVED BITCH, THAT'S OUR GUARDIAN!!

19-20 come on crows, just one more point

hhh you sure coach?? I'd rather not put any more strain on tsuki's hand... aH PFT- KAGE JUST YEETED HINATA LMAO

Ok ok, serious time. AAAA COME ON STOP EM TSUKI! Ah, flashback. I do love seeing tsuki interacting with the big guys in nekoma and fukurodani

ONE TOUCH GUYS COME ON, END IT!! One last synch atk, GET IT HINATA

wha- A FUCKING CLIFFHANGER!?! oh hell nah