#heyooo thanks for liking my post!

[pallas-cat]

diving scares the shit out of me

im signing up for a class this winter

[betterthana-six]

| MUSIC TO MY EARS - [ABBY ANDERSON] - CHAPTER THREE |

PAIRINGS: stoic!rugby player abby x musician fem!reader

SUMMARY: you and your new(ish) college roommate, Abby Anderson, have gotten into an argument. about what? unclear at the moment. but it's got Abby in a fit of shame. until late one night she hears you outside with someone whose voice she doesn't recognize and listens in.

WARNINGS: heyooo we are so fucking back! AND LOOKIE AT THAT TAG LIST AHHH THANK YOU FOR THE AMAZING RECEPTION SO FAR!!!! LOVE YOU ALL. im having so much fun writing this and watching this story spiral into absolute chaos. im honestly just trying to see how big i can make this story. much more pining this chapter but ooh girl we are getting sexier as we go, trust the process. mdni DUH. ive been wanting to write a pool scene. abby sure be falling in love. let me know if you guys are liking the structure so far, its pretty predictable. abby is snarkier and snarkier, but im always nervous to stay true to her character. let me know what yall like, and even mid story I am open to suggestions or if youre like that or this part wasnt fully fleshed out, why not let me know? im down. k have fun. bye. ALSO: i have a playlist brewing for this story. comment if you want it and ill post.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

Music To My Ears: Chapter 3

.・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。.

There are tears drying on your chin when Abby abruptly stands up, pulling you up with her, towel still wrapped over your arms. 

She starts pulling clothes out of the depths of her closet and throwing them onto your bed.

“What are you doing?” You sniffle. 

“Put these on.”

“Your clothes won’t fit me. You have something called muscle mass.”

Abby let out a small snicker. “They’re from when I was, like, sixteen. They’ll fit,” she said.

“I have my own clothes, you know,” You gesture to your side of the room. “They’re actually about five feet away from me.”

“You’ll understand when we get there why I’m giving you my old clothes.”

“Are we hiking?”

“You hush.”

“Oh my god, is it paintball?”

“Yeah,” she says. “It’s paintball. The 24-hour paintball park is awaiting our arrival as we speak. How’d you guess?”

You smirk bashfully. “I’ll only put them on if you tell me what we’re doing.”

She plants herself a foot in front of you and tilts her head down. “You’re no fun.” She shoves one of her rugby sweatshirts into your stomach. “Let’s have fun. Actual fun. Come on, it’s the weekend for fuck’s sake. I just… I know a place.”

You lower the towel like a shawl around your elbows and walk over to your bed, as Abby’s eyes follow you. Seeing her, you jut your jaw out at her, waving your index finger in a circle. Abby's response was a bit delayed, she catches her eyes getting lost on your silhouette again, and struts slowly around to face her side. 

You sigh and put the clothes on. The feeling of warmth from the dry clothes covers your body with a chill and you’re nearly sedated with comfort. While Abby is still turned away, you bring the sleeve of her hoodie up to your nose and smell it as quietly as you could. 

“I’m ready,” you say.

Abby opens the door out to the hallway. Nobody’s out there. It’s nearly 1 am.

You still look both ways nervously, and Abby notes it, but neither of you say anything. She guides you down the hallway, the sound of her keys jangling against her thigh, hanging from the carabiner locked around her belt loop. She is sure to keep you close to her. Each time you sway or stumble a bit, she grabs your wrist and holds you up. Though, of course, you put a hand up every time to insist that you’re fine. 

You are still drunk. It is indeed still obvious. 

Abby turns a corner and halts the journey in front of a vending machine which blares with light in its dark corner. “Hold up, one second,” she says, as she inserts a dollar, some coins from her pocket, presses B7, grabs it from the bottom, takes your hand and puts the candy in it.

“Twix is my favorite,” you say.

“I know,” Abby says.

“You know?”

She hesitates and runs a shy hand over the back of her neck under her long braid. “I see wrappers in our trash sometimes.”

You pause with suspicious eyes. 

Abby gives a small laugh and looks away. “Whatever. Eat.”

You bite and it is as forgiving on your stomach as any midnight candy bar can be, especially after the amount of alcohol it's following.

Now, Abby pulls your hand from three paces ahead of you. She seems restless, happily so, in a way you had rarely seen her. Maybe only once or twice in hindsight.

You are already out the doors of your building and into the cool air of early spring. It is almost completely dark but the moon lights the pale sidewalk visibly enough. Once your eyes fully adjust, you can see Abby. Her braid swings back and forth across her back. 

After a ten minute walk through the main circle of campus, Abby takes one of the keys from her hip and opens the entrance of your school’s gym.

She checks your demeanor, and you meet her with a wide-eyed face that says: what the fuck?

“Just trust me,” she says and grabs your hand again, guiding you through the dark corridors and up the stairs, past the treadmills and weight machines. 

As you approach the top, a blue haze lights Abby’s face and then yours. It’s very quiet up there in the announcer’s box, and it looks down onto the college’s Olympic sized swimming pool. You’d only ever seen it from the doors on the bottom level. You remember the first time. People were splashing about in the water but it didn’t ruin the illusion for you. The smell of chlorine. The warm humidity that threatened its way out onto you. You, who stood firmly in the air conditioned hall, pleasantly zoned out on the swimmers.

Even from behind, Abby seems so eager to fulfill her spontaneous promise of a good time. A small smile grows on her face every now and then. You become very aware of your hand in hers. Hers is gruff and big and warm, her thumb securing around your fingers messily. It’s possible you merely imagine the vibration in the space between your palms. Her touch reignites the bliss of your drunkenness, and, again, you feel light on your feet. 

Abby pulls out a key and inserts it into the keyhole for a discreet door. It leads the two of you down two flights of stairs into a locker room with fresh towels piled up into neat stacks. She throws one at you: “Here.”

“No way,” you say. You realize you were so carried away you only now realized what she had brought you here to do.

“I didn’t bring you here for us not to swim.”

You smile big. “Oh, fuck yeah.”

“I knew it would cheer you up.” Abby laughs. 

“Wait,” you think, “someone’s gonna be here. We’re gonna get kicked out.”

“No, we’re not,” she reassures, “I’m friends with the rec team. I asked for the after hours key so I can workout at night. I guess I just forgot to give them back.”

You look at her a little confused, moreso disbelieving. 

“No, really, I swear. Sometimes it’s nice to de-stress at night. Let off a little steam when no one’s around,” Abby says. You smirk and lift her sweatshirt over your head, revealing the light blue tank top Abby had given you.

“Don’t I know it,” you say under your breath.

“Oh?” Abby says. 

“You think I don’t notice when you don’t come back to the dorm until 5 am?” You say with a cocky tone. 

Then, she, too, pulls her sweater off. She was only wearing a thin bra and boxers. You were surprised she wore anything under it at all, given her track record. You quickly note the way you don’t squirm or turn away. Perhaps it’s just a matter of familiarity - you have been roommates for three months now - or, maybe, it’s the way she’s looking at you in this moment. “You notice?” 

The sudden turn of the question makes you stutter.

“I- I mean, the once or twice it's happened. Obviously.”

Instead of laughing at you this time, Abby just stands and looks at you thoughtfully. Intensely. 

“Whatever. Yeah, that was…” she finally says, shaking her head, with a twinge of something shadowing her tone and preventing her from finishing her sentence.  

The both of you have changed completely into her clothes, the clothes she didn’t think twice about letting you ruin with chlorine. You save her from whatever she didn’t want to say. “You could��ve at least told me to bring a swimsuit…” You say. 

“Yeah, well, it would’ve spoiled the surprise,” Abby says.

At the door leading to the pool, Abby turns back suddenly, stopping before speaking.

“Okay, listen. This is a sacred rite. No one besides me, and now you, has access to this place. No one knows I have the keys, and it needs to stay that way.” 

You nod. “Makes sense.”

“Because this will be really fucking fun.”

“Understood.”

“And, I’m showing it to you because you’re having a shitty, no-good night.”

You hold a salute up to your forehead. “Captain, I won't let you down.”

She rolls her eyes to your delight. “Come on.”

You find her hand in yours again. You can’t help but marvel at how natural it was - not because you are surprised - just because it still sends a shiver running down your spine.

The smell of chlorine washes over you and you breathe deep, closing your eyes and feeling the damp air warming your skin. Abby’s in front of you, hooking her phone up to a wire and resting it on the ledge of the spectator window. The speakers overhead start playing music. 

“Holy shit,” you say, looking at her with amazement and pointing up to the ceiling. The Rolling Stones' “She’s A Rainbow” rings out over the speakers and fills the space completely. A smile creeps onto your face, and once it’s there, it’s stuck. 

“How’d I do?” She asks.

You don’t answer but smile at your feet. You walk past her towards the edge of the concrete, sparing a devilish smirk her way right when your shoulders nearly graze each other. Only the pool lights are on, making the whole place shine with the blue dancing patterns of the water ripples. It reflects onto your face, and, when you look back at Abby, she is staring at you.

“You coming?” You ask. 

And Abby eyes dart away in shock, feeling scandalized and taking what you said entirely out of context. She can’t help it; a semblance of those words have been echoing in her head for the last three months, more or less. Jolting her awake from her dreams. Both sleeping and conscious. 

.・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。.

The first dream happened about three weeks into living together.

Since that conversation in your room on your first night, neither of you tried to initiate conversation deeper than small talk. The explosive end to that night left you reluctant to speak to her at all and left Abby anxious to say the wrong thing. 

It was the beginning of the semester, anyway. Abby had a routine to establish and you were busy finding the right buildings around campus, keeping your head down, and practicing guitar. 

You hadn’t been able to anticipate her comings and goings. Mostly Abby left for her day without saying a word and came back in the same manner. When she returned in the evenings, you quickly traded the guitar on your lap for earphones while Abby read silently only feet away.

"You can keep playing, I don't mind" is the only thing Abby would sometimes say. "No, it's okay. I should probably just use the practice rooms anyway," was your usual response, if you said anything at all.

The first dream happened when Abby took an impromptu nap in the early afternoon while you were out.

Her dreams involved many strange things she could never comprehend and typically forgot soon after she woke. Yet, toward the end of this dream, she saw nothing but your face, eyes softly closed, there between her legs. It was no in-depth scene. No words. No kissing. Just you, licking a line from her knee up the skin of her inner thigh. 

Abby woke up with a gasp. She looked down to find there was wetness between her thighs, and momentarily she couldn’t distinguish what was and wasn’t real. She was almost convinced that you really were somewhere near, that somehow you had been there between her legs just a moment ago. But, the room was empty and the wetness had come from Abby, herself, of course. 

She found her hand was there, too, under her boxers, to meet her body with stiff, soaked fingers.

She laid there, staring at the ceiling, unsure of what to make of it, still hypnotized in her exhaustion.

She didn’t think about it. Abby began moving her fingers around in circles, her other hand placed on the top of her head, bottom lip tucked slightly under her front teeth. 

She closed her eyes and, without realizing, tried to prolong the feeling that seemed so real only moments ago. 

You popped into her mind. She quickened her pace.

There was something so indulgent about the image she had. It felt dirty. Naughty ideations of her own roommate was something she knew she’d feel guilty about later, a secret that could never be shared. She didn’t know where it had come from specifically, this need for you, but, honestly, she didn’t even try to interrogate it. She just exhaled hard through her nose as she tried to picture you more vividly. 

“Fuck…” She whispered to herself. The feeling built and built and she gripped onto her blanket, breathing hard. 

Just then, the key to your door started jangling. 

Abby stopped immediately, yanked out of her dream and her tiredness altogether. She pulled up the slightly pulled down pants and sat up. She grabbed the book off her desk, opened it to a random page and pretended to be lost in the story by the time you opened the door and walked inside.

She had startled you. 

“Oh, hey,” you said. 

Abby looked up over the page. “Hey.”

“I forgot I need these for my next class,” you explain while gathering two books from your desk and shoving them into your backpack.

“Hm,” she said, feigning disinterest.

You zipped up and turned to leave. “Alright. See you later,” you said but met Abby’s eyes which were already on you. You turned back. “Are you okay?” You asked.

“I’m fine. Why?”

“Oh, nothing, your face is all red.”

Abby just shrugged, at a complete loss for words.

“Okay,” you said without a second thought. “Well, bye.”

“Bye.”

Once you were gone, Abby tossed the book, turned over onto her stomach, and buried her head beneath her pillow. 

.・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。.

The dreams, however, only got worse from there. Abby started waking up from dreams with her hand down her pants more often than not and, by morning, they delivered her a head full of thoughts she could barely acknowledge to herself. Dreams of you sitting in her lap, dreams of her fingers in your mouth, dreams of you panting into her ear. She had visions of what you’d look like astride her hips with a smile on your face. Impossible dreams of you seducing her in huge hot tubs, or at fancy dinners with her hand squeezing tight around your thigh under a tablecloth, a gala where you both get locked in the coat closet with nothing but time to kill. These dreams consumed her until late in the day.

If there was one thing Abby promised herself she wouldn’t do is fall in love with a straight girl. Especially her roommate, who she presumed kind of hated her. This new energy you brought to her made her so vulnerable in the dark hours of the night, she felt she had to release it before she got in too deep. 

So, she tried the gym. She started lifting uncharacteristically heavier. She started lifting until failure, until she had completely obliterated her muscles. Her teammates applauded her for her hard work, if only they knew the real reason for the fire lit under her ass.

It helped some. More like distracted her. But she knew the craving hadn’t fully subsided. It only took an hour for it to re-emerge. Sooner if she saw you walking to class or if you tried to spark conversation in the dorm, which was rare but nonetheless excited Abby when it did happen.

One time when you were both getting ready for bed, you turned to Abby and broke the silence.

“Hey, I was wondering…”

“What’s up?” Abby responded. The eagerness with which she asked was out of her control. 

“I, um, well, do you think you could show me around the gym sometime? I didn’t get to see it when I toured, and it’s so big. I’m honestly kind of intimidated-”

“Yes, yeah,” Abby said.

“Cool,” you nodded. “Thank you.”

A moment of silence passed. Abby’s heart raced with the prospect of getting to talk to you so much. Guide you around and show you the place. But in a second, she thought better of it. She needed to contain herself someway or another. 

“Yeah,” Abby continued. “They’ve got a great yoga studio, you know. One has classes and the other one is free for students to use anytime.”

You scoffed. Abby’s face was intentionally blank, waiting to see your reaction.

“Of course,” you said. “Of course, you assume I’d just want to do yoga.”

“I figure you’d want to see it.”

“Okay, well could you just show me the whole gym?”

“Yeah,” Abby said, recoiling from you a bit. She pushed through, wondered if perhaps she could make this worse for herself. Worsening the relationship could force the unwanted thoughts about you to subside entirely. “Sorry. You don’t strike me as a weightlifter.” 

You stopped and looked sharply her way.

“Okay. Forget I asked. I’ll find someone else.”

Just like that, another failed attempt at conversation was over. Her self-sabotage felt far less productive than she thought it would feel. All Abby felt was stupid. Her heart sank lower in her chest.

.・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。.

Soon she became so scared of her sleeping self, worried that you'd hear her sleep talking your name or, dear god, catch her fucking herself while she dreamt about eating you out in the quiet section of a library. The idea was so mortifying to her that she nearly couldn’t sleep with you in the room at all, which was every night. 

She grew anxious, unable to control herself and unable to sleep. Practice became lackluster. Lifting felt ineffectual. Still, she knew she couldn’t let the levee break. She needed respite in any form and, eventually, Abby realized she was desperate. 

One day before rugby practice, she texted Nora, a girl Abby fucked on and off for a majority of her freshman year. Abby liked Nora because she was as impersonal about hooking up as Abby was. It was a clean-cut fuck buddy deal she knew she could rely on if she wanted.

The next Thursday, Nora took Abby in like an old friend. She sat her down and opened a bottle of wine, performed the pleasantries of simple conversation, caught up with school and sports and life, and eventually led Abby to the bedroom.

They knew what they were there to do.

In a blur, Abby found her arms wrapped around Nora's lower back as she pressed her face flesh to Nora's chest, guiding her through a sweaty orgasm which seemed satisfactory. 

When Nora tried to return the favor, Abby was completely dry. 

She had been mentally elsewhere since the moment she knocked on the door. 

She played it off as just being out of it, just wanting to please Nora that night. So, Abby haphazardly thanked her for the wine, as it was really the only thing Nora could give Abby that night besides for a spacious bed outside of the dorms, and they went to sleep.

But Abby could only stare up at the ceiling as Nora breathed heavily beside her in a deep sleep. 

She decided to walk back to the dorm. It was early and the sun was just starting to light up the sky. You were asleep, and when Abby closed the door, you sprawled out in your bed, strands of hair curled and scattered messily around your face. She watched you sleep for a second, feeling gross and cold and wired. She still couldn’t sleep, so she turned on her desk lamp and read in an attempt to forget her last two or three decisions.

When the sun was finally up, you turned over in your bed and pushed your covers down to your feet, stretching out until your hands hit the headboard. You saw Abby was already up, only reading in bed as you often found her.

“No gym today?” You yawned.

Abby looked over at you and just shook her head. 

“You look tired.”

“Good morning to you, too,” Abby said.

You nodded, grabbed your toiletry bag, and left. 

Half of Abby convinced herself you knew what she’d been doing the night before, which only made her feel dirtier. Moreover she believed that even if you knew, in agreement with how she wanted to keep things, you were totally indifferent.

.・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。.

Abby’s logic wasn’t flawless. She thought she had been doing all the right things. She fucked it out of her system, as far as she was concerned, so after that she got right back into the swing of her routine. All excess feelings would surely go away. The dreams would stop. 

Yet, a week later, it was your face she saw through vertically moving weights, walking through the gym’s hallways that made Abby nearly drop the weights she had raised over her head. 

A blonde girl was walking with you. You seemed disinterested. 

Her name was Carol and she was another classical guitar major. She was the best in your music theory class and you clung to her when you realized not only was she a talented sight reader but she had the most lifeless and dull nature of anyone you had ever met. She was the exact friend you had hoped to meet.

She had also offered to show you around the gym when you asked. Admittedly, you didn’t need someone to tour guide you through the gym. You just didn’t want to go alone. 

Carol talked at you in great detail about the gym’s hours, what kinds of people one might find in certain areas, and how she tried pickleball once but couldn’t stand the instructor’s “overly-excited” approach to teaching.

You zoned out, clutched onto the straps of your backpack, and looked around at the gym. There were so many levels. A big hole in the wall right by the entrance that showcased the basketball courts, two yoga studios hidden around a corner on the second floor, the track that outlined the upper level, and, of course, the massive weightlifting section next to it. You tried to look away from it when Carol walked you past it just in case.

When she had taken you through most of it all, you stopped at the sight of double doors with small windows you could barely see through. 

“Is that the pool?” You asked, but you were already walking away by the time Carol could answer. 

You gazed eagerly at the swimmers who glided across the lap lanes with ease. There were sounds of whistles and people yelling out times. 

“Can anyone swim here or is it just for the swim team?” You asked and no one answered. 

You looked briefly behind you. Carol was gone. But, truthfully you didn’t care enough to go after her and continued staring at the splashes and glistening bodies in swimsuits, caps bobbing in and out of the water. The smell of the chlorine was so nostalgic. You let yourself breathe in and out, taking it all in, closing your eyes.

“It's just for the swim team, usually,” a voice said right behind you.

You jumped and turned to see who was inches away from you, closing you into the door behind you.

You exhaled. “Abby.”

“You swim?” She ignored your shock.

“Not, like, for exercise.”

“Hm,” Abby responded. “So, what are you doing here then?”

“Getting the tour I requested.”

“Yeah. From Carol, who’s never actually been here before.”

You momentarily look around for Carol but assume she must have left. You wonder how Abby even knew she was with you.

“Hey, she took a very riveting pickleball class here and has much to say about it,” you said. 

Abby smirked and moved from her close proximity to the space next to you. You both stayed there for a moment, just watching.

“She seems like a lot of fun.”

“She is,” you said a bit indignantly.

“I bet,” Abby said. “I had her in my Intro to College course last year. She’s very… organized?”

You sighed, eyes still fixed on the swim team. “Yeah, she’s kind of awful.” 

Abby couldn’t contain a laugh and you laughed with her. Out of all your conversations where she seemed to get on every one of your nerves, you were always kind to her. You turned away from the doors and Abby followed alongside as you walked together. 

“So,” Abby said, “why are you friends with her then?”

“She’s very smart. She’s nice enough.”

“Your standards for friendship are pretty low. No offense.” Abby swallowed at the thought of you taking offense. Of her taking it too far again. But this time you conceded.

“You could say that. I guess I like laying low.”

“Yeah, I see that. I can’t figure out why though.” You looked up at Abby to see if she’s fucking with you again but she looked genuine. It softened you. “I think you’re cool.”

“Thanks,” you said, looking from her to the floor again. “I just…I’ve had my fill of shitty friends before. I figure Carol is the boring kind of shitty and not the ‘ruin your life’ kind of shitty.”

“Christ,” Abby said. “I get that though.”

You looked at her to call bullshit. 

“No, really,” she continued. “If I had a dime for every time I’ve realized someone I considered a best friend was actually totally fucking awful, I’d have, like…”  

“Too many dimes?”

You smile. Abby smiled at having made you smile. 

“Too many fucking dimes,” Abby agreed and lingered on you, this laugh of yours in particular said, that’s so stupid, but you smiled anyway. She looked away and nervously stroked her neck. “Hey, listen, I’m sorry about what I said before. I see you lug, like, four guitars between classes everyday, so I had no right to say what I did, about me not taking you for a weightlifter. That was stupid.”

Abby’s breath got caught in her words. There was something about her that always made you sympathetic and made the corners of your mouth perk up. She went on.

“I feel like we got off on the wrong foot. Which… that’s my fault. If you ever want to hang out, though, outside of the dorm-” 

But your eyes tore from her and were suddenly down the hall, staring at a gaggle of girls talking to one of the front desk student workers. Your face went sullen and your body stunned. Abby tried to follow your gaze.

You went into a panic and your eyes darted around until they landed on Abby again. 

“I have to go,” you suddenly said. You swung around to Abby, seemingly hiding your face from them.

“Oh- sorry, did I-”

“But thanks for saying that. Yeah, we should,” you said, and Abby could sense your urgency to leave. “Do you wanna go to a party with me?”

Abby couldn’t hide her surprise. And pleasure. “Yes. Yeah,” she coughed. “Sure.”

“It’s a Valentine's Day party. I know it’s early in the month for that, but, yeah, Carol invited me and it seems like it might be fun, I sort of want to go but I don’t really want to go with…”

“Oh, yeah, no, fuck Carol. I’m down.”

“Yeah?” Your eyes opened brightly, at her and then anxiously to the doors behind you. “Okay, that’s great, amazing. I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah, see you.” 

And you were out the door. Abby noticed your head slightly turn away from the girls at the front desk. 

Abby’s eyes were wide. She let out a big breath and smiled to herself as she walked back to the weights. Yet, Abby found herself counting past her normal ten reps, so consumed by her thoughts that she couldn’t feel her muscles burning. Perhaps it was the moment you invited her to the party that Abby’s grand idea to repress her feelings had gone out the window. Maybe it was when you confided in her, in what small way it was, or the way you laughed at her being a smart ass that made her abandon the boundary she set for herself. Or, possibly, in the moments she spent watching you watch the swim team, Abby realized something she quietly knew since the day she met you: she couldn’t exercise or fuck her way out of this. 

Even if it all was to just be your friend, which she was slowly accepting it would be, it would be worth it to die on that hill. She would let herself die on that hill. Even if it broke her heart and you never were any the wiser. What else could she do? Abby had been a lost cause from the start. 

.・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。.

In a glance, Abby’s memories stop short. She feels the same sense of hopefulness she did in her memory so she chooses not to reminisce further. Not when things feel so simple and good again.

It was hard enough for Abby to look you in the eyes. Every time she did, she felt like she was reading a book and your pages were turning so fast it made her dizzy. It’s how she feels as you ask again:

“You coming?” 

You’re half turned to face Abby on the pool’s edge with a hand outstretched to her and anticipation in your eyes. 

She comes in colors everywhere, she combs her hair, she's like a rainbow...

As if at peace with the restlessness you gave her, she looks over to you sweetly, cracking a girlish smile and releasing her hair from its braid.

“I’m not waiting for you!” You sing out. “Three! Two!”

Abby runs and cannonballs into the pool. 

A second later, Abby feels you explode into the water next to her and opens her eyes. The chlorine stings but she sees you clearly. The deep blue glow surrounds your body as you cascade through the water. Your eyes are squeezed shut drawing little lines of sunshine on the sides of your face, bubbles of air fluttering around you, escaping to the surface. 

Abby follows you up until you both find air. Two heads bobbing up and down. The noise of splashing calms. It’s just you and her. Both bodies are tensely aware of that fact. 

You hide the bottom half of your face in the water, looking away from Abby nervously. You can sense her eyes on you. It makes you freeze. The familiar heat runs up your neck. 

“Stop it.”

She shrugs, indecipherably.

“Okay,” she says.

But Abby doesn’t change a thing.

It all festers on your face. 

You take a breath and plunge down until water surrounds you completely, until you’ve held your breath so long that your heart beats louder than your thoughts, slowly and finally drowning them out.

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.・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。.

[gummygoatgalaxy]

Heyooo, Gummy here!!

I'm sad, bored and have art block, so im posting this for people to request art of Ducktales2017/Ducktales1987/Disney Ducks and Dreamworks Trolls!!

5 rules

1. All art will be in my style, so no screenshot edits

2. Only canon characters, no ocs

3. This is only for Disney Ducks(like Ducktales) and Dreamworks Trolls

4. Because these are free, i hope everyone respects that i might be slow to respond with the art, or wont do your art request, because, no, this doesnt require payment

5. Im posting this publicly so no nsfw stuff

Other than all that, plz comment your art requests here or in my asks!!

Thank you :3

Some of my art for a ref lol

[its-a-me-mango]

Heyooo, so just to double check, you don't have Discord nor are you planning on getting one, right? One of my mutuals are apparently in a server with you or sm but I could've sworn you said that you didn't have Discord and weren't planning on getting it due to social anxieties. I tried finding the post that you said that in but I've been struggling ajkdjvskjgs

Hi yeah for full clarification I am only in TSB's discord server, I am in no other server nor do I plan to join any more.

I didn't wanna make any kind of announcement for it for social anxiety reasons so I apologise for not saying anything sooner! TSB and everyone else can 100% confirm it's me in there if needed, my point still stands that I'm not gonna get my own discord server as it's scary enough being known in the one I'm in lol.

I don't like giving my discord out to people which is why I don't add anyone and I don't like being added randomly, it's nothing personal I really am just shy, you have to tame me like a wild horse lol. My discord also isn't under the same username as my url.

I wanted to put down a strict "no discord no server" stance because I'm SUPER paranoid about people pretending to be me, it's already happened to me once in the past to try and scam people so I have my reasons, but yes that is actually me in TSB's server and I love it in there. Believe it or not I do actually wanna chat and interact with other SMG4 fans, I don't want people to think I'm some super scary person they can't talk to, I am more scared of you than you are of me.

Thank you for coming to double check with me though, it's always better safe than sorry, if that wasn't me in there I'd be out for blood.

Also if you're not talking about TSB server then that's not me, kill them.

[f-imaginings]

just finished chapter 50 and it left me in shambles and i need to put all of these emotions somewhere so i hope you won't mind my erratic rambling😭😭

kmky is literally the greatest fic ever and its crazy how accurate you portray characters and how alive and real they feel!!!! honestly have no idea how could you call this fic a rom-com when i was literally bawling my eyes out after every chapter post 33 hahah. stumbled across "merry christmas, please don't call" by bleachers and was crying to my friend on the phone regarding how much lyrics fit this fic. the lines "you were mine but you were awful every time" and "I'm not yours at all" is what broke me completely lmao. Do you maybe have a playlist for the fic or any songs that you associate with it other than ABBA's?

so yeah just wanted to thank you for the incredible gift it is to read kmky and to let you know that your writing is so amazing i don't even know how to describe it

I'm so glad you enjoyed the fic! Chapters 34 and 50 seem to be the tear jerkers haha. I cried writing certain parts of the fic so it's gratifying to know it's not just me. (I cry like a baby with Shailesh's revenge scene and cry thinking about a scene in the next chapter tbh haha also Dan's proposal) I think I call it a rom com mostly because I think it's funny lmao and I put a lot of effort into the jokes in the fic!!!! It's a comedy dammit!! (Comedy of errors maybe HEYOOO)

I love billford music recs and you best believe I'm going to go listen to that song now. Those lyrics sound very fitting.

I do have a billford playlist I used to inspire the fic and I've been steadily adding to it since I started writing in 2017. It's got lots of different genres and I tried to get some era specific hits too.

Do not be surprised if your recommendation ends up there hahah 🥳

[decoy-sammy]

haaiiii :3 I assume you didn't really celebrate it, but how your Halloween was??

Ooh, heyooO!!!

Hm, yeah, sadly Türkiye is a really religious country and so we don't celebrate Halloween here. :[

So I decided to just post a joke on my Whatsapp status(In Türkiye we call it "Cadılar Bayramı" aka "Witches Holiday" so I was like, "Happy Holidays to y'all if you're secretly a witch!") , scrolled a bit through tumblr and drew a few little doodles for the "celebration" part. :]

It was nice overall! I had no idea it was even halloween since I was so caught up in 29 Ekim!!(It would be the equivalent to "Freedom Day" for Türkiye, kinda.)

Welp, prolly a bit longer of an ansver but I usually can't stop rambling to be honesttt....

Thanks for the askkkk, how was YOUR halloween?? :3

[alexanderlightweight]

Heyooo first lemme just say that your writting is amazing. Even your darkish prompts are kinda fluffy at the end.

I imagined my prompt in a marriage of inconvenience but it kinda goes on any if yours.

Magnus flies into a rage and destroys either the NYI or alicante itself because Clary attacks Alec because of the secret marriage. Alec ismt hurt or anything but because she dared to do it our favourite high warlock shows the shadowworld that you really shouldnt touch what is his.

Thanks in advance and im looking forward to all your writtings so i can curl up in a corner wispering my precious like Gollum

Ah thank you so much! i really appreciate that and yeah, i'll write something super DDDNE and dark and then write the end and saeth will read it and go 'awww thats cute' but... that's also @saeths. who is @alxndrlightwoods and their opinion of cute things can be a little skewed.

so i'm never really sure until i post where my stuff falls tbh

kay so this is totally random but this is actually going in 'all your cracks i'll paint gold' the deruned alec verse. because it just fit best there and also, it's a bit of a plot twist because clary doesn't care enough about the institute or alicante for her to be bothered or affected in season 1 or 2 by it being destroyed.

i hope you've been enjoying them and enjoy this, thank you for this lovely prompt

<3 lumine

-

Clarissa Fray is the last person Alec expected to meet on one of the rare occasions he ever leaves Magnus’ loft. The only reason he’s even where he is, is because one of Magnus’ friends is healing an acquaintance of Magnus’. Which means that when asked to go with him, Alec of course said yes.

However, he was not expecting the small redhead that charges into the hospital rune and is seething at him.  If not for the wards and magic on this floor of the hospital, Alec imagines that Fray would have caused an incident.

“You, why are you here?” She yells when she sees him and Alec reminds himself that he can’t just rip the stupid little girl’s heart out, even if she is yelling at him like she isn’t the one whose fault is everything that’s happened to him. “You’re supposed to be dead! Everyone is acting like you are. Your mom threatened me! Izzy hates me and Jace is practically a ghost! This is all your fault Alec!”

“My fault?” Alec scoffs because he’s not touching the rest of her statements and is about to argue when he realizes it’s pointless. He can’t argue with someone caught in a delusion and Clary Fray is caught in a delusion of her own grandeur and self-righteousness. “Forget it, Fray. I didn’t come here for you. You’re not even supposed to be here.” 

“Well, I didn’t come here for you either, but that doesn’t matter. You’re going to help me save my mom, Alec. The warlocks won’t listen to me without Magnus, and I heard all about it while Dot was being healed. You ran to Magnus. You’re the reason why he stopped helping me, why no one can solve the potion.”

“Actually, I stopped helping you because you disgust me, and I have better ways to waste my time.” Magnus says and Alec relaxes, watching him come out of the shadows, the gold of his eyes a deadly promise in the dark.  “In fact, watching pond scum form is a far less a waste of time than listening to you.”

—

Magnus binds her easily and throws her through a portal, following leisurely with his arm around Alexander’s waist, his boy pressing kisses to Magnus’ temple. 

“How does she know I’m with you?” Alexander asks him, worry in his voice and Magnus regrets trusting Dot as much as he and Cat have. Apparently, she’s not nearly as trustworthy as he thought, if she thinks sharing information about her High Warlock’s lover is acceptable.

Because Alec is no longer a shadowhunter and he certainly doesn’t have any ties to the clave, not like Clarissa now does. Yet for some reason, Dot shared something that she only ever heard because Magnus lowered his guard enough to share with Cat while he helped heal her.

It’s such a disregard for Magnus’ privacy as well as Cat’s and also, means that Magnus and she can no longer talk around Dot freely. Which is disappointing on many levels.

“A small mistake on my part, darling.” Magnus assures him, “I’ll handle it. She won’t be able to share it around anymore and if it looks like they’ve tracked us, I’ll simply move us again. The clave won’t be able to take you from me, darling. Not even if they begged or bribed me.”

They’re on a roof by a mundane college, an artistic one and while Magnus could feel pity for all the lives he’s about to ruin, it’s hardly his fault that Clarissa Fray doesn’t consider the consequences of her actions.

“I normally try to avoid mundane losses, even just their structural losses. However, even if you should decide not to be a shadowhunter, Clarissa Fray. Remember that because of your greed, this avenue will always be lost to you.”

With a flick of his power the fire alarm goes off and Clarissa is struggling and yelling against the magic keeping her quiet, eyes wide as the last lingering vestiges of the college flee and, as they all watch, Magnus lights it up. 

Several parts of the building suddenly imploded. Little clouds of smoke and bright bursts of flames, mortar and ash and debris raining down as Clarissa screams and cries.  She’s showing more emotions for the idea that the college brings than when her little friend died or when she’d been supposedly grieving the pain, she caused Alexander and Magnus rolls his eyes.

“How tragic. Who could have predicted that a gas explosion would take down the school you hoped so dearly to join.” Magnus tuts and he pulls Alexander closer, and he sighs in contentment when his boy leans back trustingly. “Perhaps, you should learn to watch where you step, little shadowhunter. Not everyone will be so kind as to light the way and the world of shadows is a very dark one.”

Magnus portals away, leaving her to watch the place burn down and without really any interest in staying.  She’ll either manage to free herself or be found by her blond shadow and Magnus doesn’t care either way, not beyond getting Alexander away.

“I’m sorry you had to deal with that, Alexander.” Magnus tells him, when they’re back on their roof and Alexander is sitting on the moss, his knees tucked to his chin as he stares at the pond with waterfowl and koi that Magnus keeps.

Magnus very sneakily magics a little dish of tidbits to Alexander, and he’s given a weary but grateful smile before Alexander throws out the pieces. The koi dart over even faster than the birds, greedily gobbling as much as they can from the surface before following the sinking pieces down. The few birds that there are ignore them, coming straight to the edge, spoiled little creatures that they are.

They come right up to Alexander and snack out of his hand, ignoring Magnus with glaring orange eyes and ruffling their bloodred feathers.

“I can’t believe they all like bones so much.” Alexander murmurs, “it’s a good way of disposing of it though.”

Magnus hums in agreement, because that’s exactly why he has these variants on their roof.

"I loathe her." Alexander finally whispers, "I wanted to rip her heart out. She was talking to me just like she did when she first showed up. Ungrateful, demanding, like nothing in the world matters compared to what she wants. I just wanted to kill her. Make sure she can't cause any more damage to my life, Magnus. I can't I lose anymore."

“It's alright darling, I have you and I’ve taken care of it. Clarissa will be unable to speak of where you are or that she’s seen you. Or that you're with me. Dot has also been taken care of, as apparently, she was under the impression that she enjoyed certain privileges that she does not.”

Which simply meant that she was relying on their precious dalliance to smooth things over and hadn’t expected Magnus to actually be serious about his boy.

A misunderstanding of course, but a grave one on her part. Not, however, an unforgivable one.

As long as she keeps her mouth shut from now on.

[porlatamconlouis]

heyooo! jules here. i realized i haven't posted anything about the montevideo or buenos aires shows... i've been sort of on a weird mental space, in which i'm the happiest and somehow also mad? at the world? at myself? but anyway. this is about joy!

the show in mvdeo was amazing! my favorite so far before buenos aires happened. besides liam interrupting everyone's attention during giant rooks' set, the energy was so gooood. that performance of chemical, holy shit. oh, and i got to see three people at the back of the pit, when back to you started, one of them started singing without realizing and their friends were like "eh..?" and then the first person got sooo excited when they realized which song it was and started jumping while singing and hitting their friends' arms for them to realize what it was, hajshajsh. and then they all got it when the pre-chorus came around. it was so funny, and reminded me of the first time he sang it, watching the livestream with maia and how it also took us a few lines to realize but we were singing it, hajshajshs. anyway. great show!

we stayed at a place called 'casa vegana' (vegan house), it was sort of an hostal in an cute old building, and very big on activism. there were posters plastered on every wall. and vegan food in montevideo was good as well!

so definitely better memories were made in montevideo. :) even the ferry back to buenos aires was good! and okay... louis in vélez! what the hell. we were there? lol.

his energy, confidence and beauty were off the charts. not even the cold brought him down!!!

(fucking tumblr deleted a good chunk of what I wrote dammit)

i was saaaaaying... he could have used the catwalk more than three times. hajshaj. the energy in that stadium was so amazing... we were at the back of the front pit and everyone jumping up and down, and chanting on quiet times, and just... ugh. argentinian crowds are incredible! i've found my matches!

also... i'm sorry i couldn't ask tom about the color lights during beauty. i only had time for one question before he ran away from me and that was "what happened to lucia?". but it was a funny interaction, because he looked scared and amused that i approached him by name at the end of the show to thank him for his work, hajshs. and then when i asked about lucia, i was about to add that i was referring to the lightbulb but HE KNEW what i was talking about. so they know. 😌 anyway, he just said "couldn't happen today" or something like that, and i was like "why?" and he just shrugged and kept walking away and said i don't know while being amused and like withholding information. so there's that.

anyway, then yesterday we went to see giant rooks at a small venue, and pffft. i make a separate post on my blog, because... i'm still reeling from it, i think. they might be too, because they haven't posted about it, hhahshss.

anyway. stocked up on vegan alfajores (i had a flashback to the last time i was here like 12 years ago, and also bought so many alfajores to bring home, so to have so many vegan options so i could do the same? ooof! (they won't make it homehome but they'll last for a bit).

tomorrow we'll be on our way to chileee and soon meet up with andrea and alex! i'm sooo exciteeeedddd!

[buried-in-autumn-leaves]

Heyooo! Question- You got any opinion on Shiloh x Everett?? Their dynamic and stuff, maybe? (Cause I know I've seen that ship floating around somewhere..)

I DO IN FACT HAVE THOUGHTS THANK YOU FOR ASKING !!

I can't remember if I ever posted this, but I remember writing a post about how Shiloh and Everett being paired off as people who only get along situationally is SUPER dependent on Everett's need for praise. In the same way that Bae enjoys being complimented, Everett thrives off of mass approval. Shiloh is a great fit here because he's popular, even if everyone knows he's a liar. They also both care about fashion which I like a lot !!

In a strictly romantic sense I don't see them bringing out good parts in each other, which is how most of these ships work out while they're still at Saint Sara Bell. The only way they get along is if Shiloh is lying, which encourages Eve's ego-driven personality.

After graduation I can see them being actual friends depending on how Shiloh turns out.

Leon and Eve might get along better than most, imo. I feel like Leon has the same 'oh highschool was so cringy, im so mature now (im not)' kind of thing that Eve grows into. These are the two I can see having the most possible romantic chemistry, even though they would definitely be the couple no one is inviting to the potluck.

On the other hand, Eve would DESIPSE Shy. The second he pulls out that vlog camera he's getting his ass beat. Genuinely do not let these two be in a room together ever.

The Mr Fields version always makes me conflicted when talking about interacting with the others. Eve specifically I feel like would be uncomfortable around him because he's so open. Everett doesn't WANT to talk about SSB, he wants to move on and pretend it never happened.

If Shiloh doesn't change at all, I don't see their relationship changing much. If anything, Everett would probably get bored of him.

This is probably all over the place, but all of my Shiloh posts tend to be because of how many canon versions of him exist, I always want to yap about all of them 💔

[bubbabshark71249538]

Heyooo!! I've seen your art on Twitter and I wanna say how much I love your OC Titan V Cameraman. I'm excited that you're on Tumblr now.

-Sincerely, ShadowWolfmemes/LianaIsBlank

Thank you for liking my oc, I'm currently looking for a quiet place to post new art and tumblr might be a good place to start my mental break🤲❤

[tonberry-yoda]

HEYOOO!

MA GURL CONGRATULATIONS ON THE ANNIVERSARY!! DUDE, IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUUUUUU❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Soo, for your recent event could you please do the 5th prompt for and Aizawa x Fem!reader?

Have a great time!!

Playing with his Hair - Aizawa

notes - AHHH THANK YOU! You don't know how much it means to get a request from you, honestly. You were my first ever moot here on tumblr and having your support really means the absolute world to me! and this prompt was such a good choice and so perfect for the husband! thanks so much for the request, I love you lots <3 word count - 274 ~~BUY ME A KO-FI (COMMISIONS ARE OPEN)~~

It had been a long day for both you and your husband. Both being pro heroes was very exhausting and took a lot out of you. And honestly, without each other, you don't know where you would be.

Because despite how tired the two of you were, there was nothing better than coming home and just laying next to each other to get some rest.

After said long day, Aizawa picked you up and the car ride was quiet because you took a short nap. You had gotten through a fight with some guy trying to rob a bank and he had a speed ability, so that made catching him more exhausting than it should've been.

When you got home, the two of you took a quick shower, almost falling asleep in the warm water, but before that could happen, you got out and lazily slipped on some comfortable clothes.

Aizawa picked you up in his arms and carried you to bed, dimming the lights in the room.

You both slumped on the bed, humming with satisfaction when you felt the warmth of your sheets.

After you gor comfortable, Aizawa laid his head on your lap and your hand went to his hair without even thinking.

His hair was amazingly soft, so you spent a lot of your time playing with his hair when you were together.

He was practically purring with a smile on his face as you played with his fluffy locks.

"How was your day?" he finally asked quietly.

"Tiring. You?"

"Same."

After that, no words were exchanged. Just you playing with his hair until the two of you fell asleep.

~~~~~

mha masterlist (2) | pinned post

2023@tonberry-yoda– do not repost or claim ANY of my work as your own! likes, reblogs, and comments are not only welcome, but appreciated

~~~~~

[takami-takami]

Heyooo! If I may, could I recommend some Dabi oneshots/fics/headcanons?? Or even just blogs, really, whichever works.

Ah, I'll do both, why not?

Just off the top of my head:

@malewifetouya runs a soft Dabi blog, meaning that there's no non-con/stalking/ Yandere stuff. It's fluff and smut, but the way Dabi is written is very soft and indulgent. She really explores the softer side that we could have had in the manga and anime, and kinda humanizes him. It's beautiful, really. Truly one of my favorites!

@dabisqueen writes soft stuff and dark stuff! I would honestly recommend her oneshot, 'Devil With Blue Eyes'. The way Touya/Dabi is written in that would be perfect for this cuckolding idea of yours! He's cocky, he's arrogant, but also soft for the reader. I know she recently uploaded a new oneshot called 'Virgin Call' but I haven't gotten around to reading all of it. From what I've read though, he's witty, he's quick, and the smut definitely delivers in that one!

@justanotherpersonwhohateslife has some Dabi headcanons on the Masterlist, and some of them are hilarious! The way Dabi is written is cocky, smug, and a bit of a tease, but it's all in good fun!

@dabislittlemouse is another good blog. (It has dark content, be warned) She writes fluff, smut, and angst, and Dabi is mostly portrayed as smug and confident, slightly cocky sometimes- just enough that you might feel slightly annoyed. But her writing is awesome!

@dabiboy has a Dabi section on the Masterlist, and it's a mix of fluff, smut and angst. There's also a bunch of texting story things, ranging from smut to fluff; I feel like those specifically would be great inspiration for writing his character for your idea, particularly the smutty ones.

(If I may, one of the texting stories involves cheating. That would be great inspiration for this idea of yours!)

I hope these recommendations help with you writing Dabi!

You're welcome bb, and have a good night 😁

Thank you for these, and I will post this for other people who want to check out those blogs and writers; however, I will not be reading them for idea inspiration!

I'm unsure if I've posted about this before, but I am not a fan of reading other people's works and writing my own works based off what I get from it; I think it shows, and people can tell. If you don't have a writer's consent, it can turn into ideological plagiarism fast.

When I said I was thinking about reading Dabi fics, it was to get a better idea of how he talks because I don't know his speech patterns for dialogue (which is why I omitted dialogue in one of my drabbles). But I realized quickly I should just rewatch the anime (even if it'll take time lol) if I want that information, or have a conversation with someone about it.

I want to be respectful of other writers on here and of their works, and their characterizations of Dabi as well. If that makes sense!

[gummygoatgalaxy]

HEYOOO~

COME JOIN MY DREAMWORKS TROLLS SERVER!!! ALL PEOPLES WELCOME

Sooo, after i made a post for my moots to join my private Discord server, i decided to make it a public community! Please join if you like trolls and want to chat with people about it!!

PLEASE JOINN

Thanks!!

[marumarielle]

https://www.tumblr.com/marumarielle/739410051094216704/httpswwwtumblrcommarumarielle739363220175912

(I'm the anon in this post and the same ‼️ anon too in the post u linked titled here)

Tbh this didn't really answer my question but thank u for taking ur time to answer it ! I appreciate u answering the asks I send. I think its best if I ask the person of the og belief this question (Aka Chai) but still thank u massively for this love.

One thing I find so interesting is this statement:

"....While that is true, I still believe that people have free will. It's just that the story I tell, the assumption I tell about a person is simply the story they show towards me. And, this logic also applies to my belief of EIYPO applies to people I know (creds to Indigo Detry's EIYPO video, updated ver. I knew EIYPO thru her).

Mind expanding on it? It's the first time I've ever heard a POV like this, it confuses me a bit but I'm very intruiged by it.

Heyooo! And sorry if I didn't really answer your question but thank you still for taking the time to read it!

Oh, and don't worry anon, I was also confused when I first learnt it but I got the hang of it so I hope you will too.

For example (based on a real experience btw, just a fake name used), I have a classmate, John. John is known to be quite a troublemaker in class. Hell, I doubt he even takes school tasks seriously. Next thing I know, he's in my group. He's known to be a burden in his previous groups in terms of projects.

But, due to me knowing EIYPO & loassumption, I create a new story about John. I assume that he does the tasks I assign to them and I persist in that assumption. And then, after persisting in that assumption, not minding the time that has passed by, he actually did it! Even though it wasn't the best of quality, I could still do good with the material he sent me. (note: There were times I had to scold John for his behavior but I still stayed loyal to that new story, fulfilling that desire in me about him doing his assigned tasks)

Was that example sufficient? In simple words, EIYPO to me is simply how people show up in my life. I suppose I could assume that a certain person changes their ways towards others. However, I'll link Indigo Detry's video here so that you can watch it for a clearer explanation. (reminder: u don't have to take in what doesn't feel right to you!!)

And, I feel like I'm repeating myself but once again, people are not robots. They have their own lives, their own free will. But, EIYPO to me is that the story I tell, assumption I tell about a person I know is how they'll show up in my life.

About those general assumptions in EIYPO such as "Men can't always be trusted", "People are just mean to you sometimes" I do think they apply...???? Idk tbh, maybe yes, maybe no?? IDK T-T just more things to fuel my mind that's always thinking LMAOOOO

BUT ALAS! If you don't have an assumption or story about a person or generally people you don't know, EIYPO does not apply.

[tydrawzz]

HEYOOO AAA

i've been taking a lot of time recently to work on my art n stuffs!!!

I also found out that i actually enjoy drawing in a scketchbook as well as digitally!!

anyways,, here's a redraw of a drawing i did a while ago!! :33

AAA i actually rlly like it!! it's the first time in a while that i've actually liked something that ive drawn lmao

i've been working on shading n anatomy n stuff and i rlly feel like it's paying off!!!

anyways,, thank you so much for all the support i've gotten on this blog so far!! I'm posting a sketch book dump soon, so stay tuned :P

love y'all sm!!!!!

- ty <333333

[faffreux]

hi you are not my therapist or advice giver so you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but i look up to you a lot because of your dedication to fawful!

i have autism (i prefer person-first language sorry ik it's not the universal usage :() too and an incredibly niche/random character has been my special interest for quite a few years now, i dont own merch of her or anything since it's so random and i feel embarrassed about it. i eat up the same few pieces of art every single time,, a 2010 deviantart post where she's in the background? EATING. IT. UP. 😭 how did you let those feelings of shame go (if you ever had them)? idk i don't think it's cringe when other people do it but i just think if any of my friends found out they'd be like wth... i don't really know what i'm trying to say but i guess i wonder if you have any tips on how to make the most of your special interest :) fawful is a cool villain (sorry not insinuating he's evil/bad, just his role in the game) so your interest makes way more sense than mine but you are super dedicated so i think you have some cool guru knowledge about this sorta thing :')

Well, first things first... thank you so much for the kind words!! It's really heartwarming to hear that anyone views me in this manner qwq - I appreciate you telling me bc it really means a lot to me!

But I guess I'd like to say the first piece of advice I have for you is to not see your interest as any lesser than mine or anyone else's just because the character only shows up for a little bit or barely at all. Focus on the joy YOU get from your guy/gal and don't worry about how silly or ridiculous it may appear in the eyes of others.

Another thing I'd say would be to take criticism and people's lack of understanding in stride. I hesitate to say "expect criticism/hate" but at the same time I do think it's a good idea to prepare yourself for it. I think if the idea of receiving negativity from others makes you lose all motivation and confidence in yourself and this character you have feelings for, then it may not be the wisest thing to put it in a public place (like the internet) for the time being.

Having a public presence with this sort of thing isn't for everyone and I think it's perfectly okay and valid when it's not. It doesn't make you or your feelings and less real for it.

PS. regarding the merch: please remember that I caused 99% of the stuff in my room to come into being myself! Fawful doesn't have any official merch outside of a few promotional items with his official render on it from 2009. My entire room is stuff I wanted to have and to see and so I went out there with some dollars in my pocket (and super talented friends, heyooo) & made it happen. (Point being: YOU HAVE THE POWER.) I only haven't added more to it in a while bc I'm broke lmao

Take care, dude. I know I have no idea who you are but feel free to send another anon or DM me privately if I can help you with anything else or if this didn't answer the question enough!