#hey if we wanted to get real silly this plot-line also very much applies to Rory Amy and their child River

[ferdieinceladoncity]

the fucking overlap between fans of fire emblem awakening and the x-files might be relatively minuscule but god if I won't bring my rant I started on twitter over here anyway where I a have slighter larger word count to work with .

anyway. the parallels between MSR and Chrobin. And if I'm forcing parallels it's because they're my favourite fictional relationships and I can find parallels in ANYTHING but hear me out, I swear they're there.

You are Chrom/Mulder. Someone comes into your life who you have *every* reason not to trust. A suspicious amnesiac you find passed out on the ground, swearing they can only remember their own name- a new coworker sent to spy on your activities. But you have a kind heart (and a gang of weirdo friends: there's not MUCH similarity between the lone gunmen and the sheperds, other than that both chrom and mulder attract and tolerate eccentrics quite easily) and you trust this new person. Not only do you trust them you listen to them, they listen to you, you walk through hell together. Your sister dies, either before your story or at the beginning of it: either way, your sister haunts the narrative.

You and this person- robin, scully- you make the conscious decision to love them. You have a child, but circumstances of your job and situation- (the war, EVERYTHING with the x-files) declares you leave the baby behind. In the case of MSR this is a permanent leaving-behind and in the case of Chrobin it's not, but still- as you live your life apart from your child, you find them again, and it's the strangest thing because they're grown up now- and you never got to raise them but here they are, standing in front of you. And they're covered in blood. And they've lived through *hell.*

The child you never got to raise has become a living weapon and they deserved better from you than one sword and a world of troubles.

[vessilin]

hey guys i have decided that i will now become a TMAGP account. hashtag. love this new podcast!! as soon as my hands stop swelling I WILL be making RedCanary fan art. I cannot express how much i’m loving this series rn

more below the cut! ! (SPOILERS)

OKAY SO!! episode #1 has thoroughly shaken me to the core. thank you so @sunnyspookss for listening to me yap about it over discord. love u suns!! here are my thoughts on the characters :

Sam - I cannot describe how I feel about this creature. I’m loving them and they’re giving me very… main character vibes (obviously but… anything could change who knows). Currently loving the idea that they wear glasses !!! Def a really fleshed out character (even from just the first episode).

I know Sam SAID that they were working here to ‘get back on [my] feet’ but I feel like there might be something more behind it?

Alice - right off the bat !! I’m loving her. she seems so incredibly sweet and i’m HC-ing her as a trans woman. live laugh love Alice !!! She’s so silly and in some ways reminds me of Tim Stoker ? I think it’s really interesting and I can’t wait to see how her character develops!!

ALSOOO TTHE FACT THAT SHE AND SAM USED TO DATE!??? AUGH. during college too? I feel like this is running a real close parallel to Jon and Georgie.

Gwen <333 - I can totally see some of the Bouchard family line coming in here. At first (a.k.a. the first 10 minutes or so) i didn’t really have any strong opinions and kinda forgot that her last name was bouchard but after the little scene of her and Lena in the office I started to love her even more. The boldness and the gall this woman has makes me want to shake her around like a squeaky toy.

When Lena was like “what do you even want here anyways 😒😒” AND GWEN WENT “your job” I LOST IT. LIKE.

I don’t even know if she and Elias are related but goddamn?!! I’m literally in love.

Lena - She knows something. This woman. this girl. she knows something that I do not know and I do not like it.

Colin - Live Laugh Love Colin!!! He def knows what’s going on!! I have a feeling he’ll be rlly important to the plot and his little end ‘speech’ (more like dialogue but oh well) at the end of the first episode was like??? Major Eye vibes.

RedCanary - I don’t even know where to begin. The insanity? The deleting photo? Canaries should stay above ground? The anger at ArcherK?? The mystery?

I really hope this character comes back but even if they’re a Sarah Baldwin situation that is 110% okay. I love the premise of this person finding something in that box (or maybe just the box in general) that drives them to insanity or drives them to some new information?

Misc. - Ok! Im not sure if the same like… ��fears’ apply but someone (hi sunny) has said that there might be a new fear system? i think that’s going to be really fun to get into once I listen to the second episode. Secondly !!!! The Magnus Archive being turned into the library of alexandria (not literally but still) is such a cool concept to me. I think it’s very inchresting to think about because

A) as a child i loved researching TLA (the library of alexandria) and B) it makes a whole new timeline- i think?? Or maybe it’s some like alternate dimension or something!!! who knows!! I love it!

The idea of lost knowledge (and that knowledge once being uncovered driving people to insanity) (shoutout redcanary we will remember you!) is such a cool concept in general. the what-ifs and the maybes that can stem from it are so interesting and I can’t wait to see if they expand on that or not!! Either way- i’m loving the podcast so far.

ALSO JON AND MARTIN BEING CHESTER AND NORRIS RESPECTIVELY? DOES THIS MEAN THAT AUGUSTUS IS LIKE. ELIAS OR JONAH???? AUGH THIS PODCAST IS SO GOOD IM LOSING IT

[robiness]

Qrow was meant to be a punching bag (theory, V7CH12 spoilers)

tw: depression, one brief mention of suicide at the very end

Many are upset about the literal and narrative butchering of two beloved characters in RWBY V7E12. The initial and probably most popular argument against what happened is that it doesn’t make sense, why would these characters do what they did. And honestly, that reasonable reaction to the injustice was mine, too.

But now that I’ve “calmed down”, meaning I’m finally not in a whirlwind of blind rage, indignation, and devastation, I started thinking about “Why did they do that?” with some level of depth. 

The answer I found is still unjust and disgusting, but at least it fell in line with something resembling logic.

Qrow enthusiasts have been complaining about his endless heartbreak. Why can’t be be happy for once? What’s the whole point in his recovery arc this volume if they’ll just scrap it? It’s like they put random tragedies on a dart board and the writers just started throwing.

Hear me out - they meant all of this. Every instance Qrow suffered is intended. They didn’t throw away his recovery arc because he was never meant to recover. 

I think that they’re going to make him an antagonist at worst, or a man driven to the ultimate tragedy at best. 

At this point, you’re probably like. What. Lol no. You’re as silly as the writers are.

But again, let me explain. I used to have that mindset of Qrow always being best but sad boy. A hero who just needs a chance. 

There was NO way this man will ever go dark:

he probably thinks he lost summer to salem

his nieces are actively hunted by salem and her forces, and RWBY for sure ain’t changing sides 

he’s always believed in the principles he has, and he’s always applied them. he’s a good Huntsman who cares, and knows his path 

he believes in ruby’s determination and ability to probs save the world

But that’s the thing.

He’s ALWAYS stuck by the principles he learned from Ozpin. Betrayal after betrayal, he was crushed but managed to somehow bounce back. 

This volume, he was on a good track. A good mind space. His kids are great, but then he met an equal - someone with literal plot armor against his Semblance. Misfortune is the reason why he stays away from the people he loves, why he blames himself for a lot of things, why he feels like baggage. 

A person his age who could be a friend, or more. Huntsman of equal ability and maturity.

Queerbaiting aside (I’m sorry I ever used that phrase, I hate them too), Clover was a possibility. Here was a potential team partner, friend, lover, whatever, but the point is he was finally free to explore what a developing relationship is like because here’s a guy who kinda got him, and probably won’t be harmed by staying close for an extended period of time. 

I think the chemistry in their fights solidified this too. Clover was someone who didn’t get in trouble by being at his side (except the first time in the mines, and Clover took it in stride and still succeeded).

Even better, Clover actually vocalizes that hey, it’s okay.

He doesn’t dismiss Qrow’s semblance, but he encourages Qrow to let go of the guilt a bit, that he’s worth more than his bad luck, and can continue to work around it. 

Qrow was nowhere near full recovery, but he was definitely on the way with a bit of Clover’s help. Later, my precious man finally smiles for real... not his smirk or sad smiles to Ruby. He’s smiling for the enjoyment of the moment and things are looking up!

(slightly sorry for the gif below)

(V7CH12 gifs would be appropriate from here on, but I am NOT doing that to myself)

So what’s the point, Robiness? We all know how THAT story goes. Qrow gets trauma because it’s shown to him, yet again, that his Semblance fucks up the good things, that even someone with the most potential to be safe ISN’T. Not around him. 

The whole crash was OOC, rushed and bad writing, whatever. But why did it happen? 

Qrow is basically the poster boy for mental health in this show. He’s depressed, and to him AND to the outside world, he’s right in thinking he’s only going to hurt people. He’s been proven right, many times, that he is bad luck.

What’s different this time?

He didn’t have hope, the other times he was let down. He had hope for humanity, yes, and that he can somehow contribute to saving it.

But he’s never had hope for himself, that he could be more than his Semblance. Clover’s character gave that to him. He was already trying to quit drinking, but that was for Ruby and the other kids, and by extension their mission, but not for himself.

When CRWBY killed that hope, it killed anything inside of Qrow that could’ve thought that he could be a hero. Or even simply better than he was before.

He’s crushed, his mind is clouded. As Clover died, he wanted to kill Tyrian, then he wanted James to fall. The legal type of justice wouldn’t be enough to assuage his need for vengeance. 

And he’s alone. Perhaps about to be arrested, I don’t know. But every other time he’s been crushed, he had the kids around to divert the attention even a little bit. But this time, there’s no one to help him process and move past this. No positivity from Ruby, no scolding from Yang to keep it together. No one.

If you’ve ever had mental illnesses, you could probably imagine being alone in that fragile state of mind. 

And you know who’s the most likely to know where the heck he is and that he’s going through something? His sister, Raven, because of her Semblance. 

Details have been important in how RWBY is told to the audience (though they retract when convenient lol). Sometimes, this includes release dates. February is the last month of winter, slowly turning into spring. Yes, I mean the Spring maiden. 

Let’s talk about Raven. 

She’s angry at her brother, also for feelings of betrayal. He betrayed their tribe, their values, everything they stood for. He left her, his sister. He chose Ozpin’s mission over her, even though their original plan was to just infiltrate Beacon to learn how to kill Huntsmen better. 

This means she remembers a boy that had the same ideas and supported her and their family. I don’t think she can accept that this Qrow, the one we know, is her actual brother, how he should be. When it comes to Qrow, I think what matters to her the most is proving that she was right all along, that they should’ve just stuck together and kept to their practices. 

And Qrow, regardless of the spring bit, if he encounters her as he is now... could easily believe that she was right. After all, the facts to him are:

He can’t escape his Semblance, ever.

He needs vengeance for Clover, because his death was his fucking fault. His attempt to deescalate the fight (leaving Harbinger in the snow) didn’t matter, because his bad luck won in the end. 

A plausible 3. Doing things “the good way” “the right way” is never going to cut it for him because he is walking misfortune. Something will always go wrong.

So why not drop all fucks and go ahead full-force?

His mind isn’t in its best state right now, and all his decisions will of course be emotional. 

We’ve known Qrow from point A depression to point B somewhat recovery to point C the last fucking straw. I think it’s something to consider that we’ve never heard anything about his youth, except that he used to believe in the brutality of their tribe. He never mentions it, and we don’t know anything about the circumstances that made him change, beyond “Ozpin gave him a place”. 

He gave up his heritage just to be proven that brutality would have protected his loved ones better. 

So yes, the punching bag theme, the endless misery, Clover’s death - all these are most likely building up to that shift in his character. We thought the eventual character shift would just be his recovery, but since that was scrapped, the only other way that makes sense is that he’s going to regress into someone that cannot be saved.

He’s not going to switch sides. He’s not going to stop loving his kids. He’s probably never going to join Salem. 

But his methods will be more ruthless now, driven by heartbreak and rage and self-hatred. God knows how he’ll deal with anyone in his way. He’s not going to fucking listen. He listened to Clover, and where did that get him? 

This way, the violent, straightforward way he used to know, this would protect his kids more efficiently, even if they don’t want him to go down that path. He’d probably leave them to protect them, and to be unhindered in his corner of the war.  

He’ll think that this - to be a rage-filled killing machine - would be the best case scenario for him and the rest of the world. Kind of like how he followed RNJR from a distance, killing all the Grimm that could get in their way.

We thought he was a broken man before, but this has been escalating. It’s been probably planned out since before.

If you’re not convinced yet, remember:

RWBY loves literature parallels. 

Leo Lionheart changed, and gave in to fear. The Cowardly Lion.

James Ironwood, the Tin Man, has proven that he’s thrown away his heart. 

Qrow Branwen, the Scarecrow, was always fucking destined to lose his mind.

I don’t know what will happen after, what kind of sick tragic death he’ll end up with. Since they’re romanticizing his suffering so much, he’ll probably end up killing himself after his work’s done. 

I have no idea how the details will go, but I’m pretty sure this is the path the writers will take. There is just no other reason I can fathom as to why they keep hurting my man. I want to be wrong, but I can’t think of anything else, unless some deus ex machina shit happens in the finale, but hell if I’m ever trusting CRWBY again. 

And yeah, as a depressed person who relates to and loves Qrow, the idea of the message of “it’s never going to get better” fucking sucks. 

[evilelitest2]

100 Days of Trump Day 54: Spec Opts: The Line

Welcome back to 100 Days of Trump, where we try to explain WTF happened in 2016 through 100 recommendations, and this one is another one of those “hey I can’t really talk about this in full detail without going into spoiler territory so lets awkward talk about the plot without the specifics” deal cause GAH.  And this one is even worse than Chinatown because it is one of those “Hey the game looks like one thing but it is in fact something else”  

   So whatever, if you want to play the game, its a modern military shooter set in the middle east, go play it have fun.  Spoilers are going to be below, so otherwise look at the nice picture of a white dude with a gun, ignore the text below and come back when you’ve played it.  

   Ok, so this game is basically like the game equivalent of Mike Posner’s “I took a Pill in Ibiza” in terms of how fucking weird this game is, but to understand you kinda need to understand the gaming industry, in particular the take over of gaming by modern military shooters.  Now First Person Shooters have always been popular since the technology allowed it and they mostly came in two main styles, fantastical science fiction style shooting games in the vein of Half Life, Doom, Duke Nukem, Quake and later Halo and “realistic” historical shooters that focuses almost exclusively on WWII, your Battlefield, Metal of Honor, Spec Opts, and of course Call of Duty.    The former were over the top and absurd silly romps through fantastical adventures, and the latter are the main focus of what we are talking about.  

Half Life is sort of its own thing, shut up I’m making a point here.  

 So these WWII games are about shooting down waves and waves of Nazis in a very..uncomplicated way.  Despite having a gritty visual aesthetic, this is one of the most universally positive depictions of war you can find all of the little nastier element of erased.  The Nazis you kill are effectively robots cosplaying as SS soldiers, you never have to worry about civilians or collaborators, or prisoners who surrender in a meaningful way or war crimes or really any of the complexities of war, it has the filter of WWII over what is effectively a game about killing aliens.  

And this entire war game aethetic was basically accepted because you know...they are Nazis, fuck Nazis, Nazis are so evil that we don’t need to question the extreme pro war mentality. This was basically accepted because all of this military jingoism was applied to a time commonly imagined as absolute black and white good and evil, so nobody needs to really question the base assumptions going on.  

    And then Call of Duty 4 Happened, where the same gameplay was set in a modern wars on Terror.  And unlike all of the COD before or since, COD 4 didn’t fully embrace a jingoistic attitude, the game is more thoughtful than the series it spawned (that isn’t saying much) and has a marginally anti war message (in a confused contradictory not sure what I”m talking about any more sort of way).  But its massive popularity basically broke the taboo of combining shooting mechanics designed for an uncomplicated WWII power fantasy and inserted it into modern politics, and later games jumped on the bandwagon to insert the jingoism and mentality of the WWII games to modern warfare.  The results....well.... lets.. just...say ...the results ....weren’t ....pretty

And when the military FPS power fantasy met the hyper macho multi player shooter community over real life politics, something remarkable happened...and by remarkable I mean totally expected.  A weird right wing narrative about the War on Terror emerged, like a contemporary Stabbed in the Back Theory.  Video games turned from a power fantasy of being an awesome solider who killed the bad guys into something a lot more insidious...the fantasy that America can actually win the War on Terror if we apply just a little bit more violence and military hardware to the situation, and if it wasn’t for those SJWs holding us back we could do it.  And this macho power fantasy took on even more uncomfortable tones.  And while not all CoD players were nationalists or even right wing, the culture and attitude of the gaming communities towards CoD allowed this to fester and grow into something far more dangerous. 

And this just kept getting worse and worse because CoD literally dominated the entire gaming industry becoming the best selling franchise ever so because corporations don’t actually understand how capitalism works, everything became a derivative of CoD, and what was a niche title turned into the default for gaming, and this attitude of nationalistic resentment mixed with power fantasy became full American style fascist propaganda, all racist propaganda, fetishization of the military.  (Skip to 0:45) 

And into this world came Spec:Opts the Line, which looks at first glance all the world like another CoD ripoff with an unquestioning mindless militaristic jingoism of a storyline about shooting arabs in the desert and AMERICA FUCK YEAH  And no....no it isn’t.  It really fucking isn’t.  The whole game is based upon an assumption you make about the story-line and then taking those preconceived assumptions and tearing them off and holding them before you to reveal them for the utter vile horror that they truly are.  Most critically the fact that modern warfare as a franchise is about being a hero without ever having to think critically about any of the unheroic shit that you are doing or the actual real life consequences of you’re actions.  Like the fact that when America actually jumps into a the middle east without any key idea of WTF they are doing and try to be heroes, they wind up murdering children.   

And that once you’ve made this core assumption, you kinda have to keep going, because admitting the original fault ruins the entire power fantasy you are going for, so you dig in deeper and delve in further to try to further rationalize you’re behavior in the hopes that the little “I’m a hero and all of my actions are vindicated please don’t judge me” reward is just over the next war crime.  And in once you go down this route to justify this fantasy you need to basically make yourself ok with more and more horrible behavior, because gods knows that always works.  And when you come out the other end, you are left with a choice, either admit that everything you did was not only morally abhorrent but also for nothing, or...sink into fantasy where you are justify.  And post 9/11 Trump is offering that fantasy, and many people are taking it, because if 2016 has taught us anything, land of the free and home of the brave can always be expected to march to the tune of moral cowardice if you wrap a flag around it. 

   There is a great temptation to not think about important issues that we really need to think about, to want to have the fun of War without considering the dangerous realities of War and the actual hardship of being a hero.  Maybe this is my protestant upbringing talking, but let me make something clear.  Nothing is simple and if you get success in a way that is easy, it likely is coming at the expense of another’s blood.  But hard truths are never popular and most would rather retreat into the fantasy of military glory rather than the reality of a complicated dangerous world without clear simple answers.  

Part 2

[summer-youth]

Short Stories

Golden hour is a coming of age story about a 16-year-old boy named Alex. He lives in South Carolina and his strict parents own a beach house near Myrtle beach. They go down there every single year, but in recent times, he met a girl that he can’t get off his mind after meeting him. After doing his own thing and living his life, a plot twist has been waiting for him. I wrote this story because I miss the sun and the warmth as much as any other person and writing this story has helped me feel it again.

Golden hour

Every year, me and my family go down to Myrtle beach every summer to enjoy the beach since I live pretty close by, and to avoid the overcrowding in Florida. Ever since Hurricane Florence things haven’t been the same around here, but it’s better than nothing. My dad makes my little sister come down here with us even though she would never be able to understand anything, 3 year old kids don’t have the memory to remember things like this and it just became a drag. He did this ever year since she was born, and whenever I get the chance, I leave and wander off on my own, and I’ll keep doing it.

Around the golden hour, the sun would be warm. In the mornings my little sister would want to go out, She had to be covered in a thick layer of sunscreen; it would be boiling. I remember one year, I burn the soles of my feet just because I stepped on hot sand. But now, it’s perfect. I always enjoyed seeing a blue sky turn into what I would like to assume is a visual representation of emotions. I loved to see the lights from the buildings stand out against the colours of the sky, and the sunset reflect against the ocean, whenever the golden hour comes along, I never wanted it to end.

All I saw were families having so much fun with their small children in the water. Sometimes I wished I was that small again. I started to think about how the school year ended, I ended up breaking up with my girlfriend Susanne because of the way she would make me buy her things and if I didn’t, I would be denounced a bad boyfriend. She also said I felt too much, it made no sense. Susanne is now dating the guy I was suspicious of, which is the funniest part. Soon enough, I felt the warm air drop every so often. Night was coming and I had to get back to my parents beach house before complete nightfall. Looking down at the lines of wood of the boardwalk, I remembered a few summers ago. I had someone walk next to me in this very moment.

I was around 14 at the time, I’m 16 now. I saw her down the boardwalk, and she approached me then proceeded to ask if I was with anyone. I wasn’t and surprisingly not suspicious of the fact that I was talking to a total stranger. She asked if she could hang out with me, I agreed. She looked like my age, and she was someone to talk to, so I just went along with it. She never told me her name or where she came from. All she told me was “Don’t you think better memories are made with questions unanswered?” She was spontaneous, that’s for sure, that’s why I keep remember that sentence with her face. When I was sitting in class I heard it being said in a book, and I remembered her. I don’t remember the book we were reading, I was always asleep in English class.

My best guess was that she was a foreigner. While we were walking along, she asked me a lot of questions about what was around the area, such as: what are some good things to eat, things to do, people to talk to. It was basic foreigner questions; someone that was not from here would ask. I took her to one of the most famous spots there, the SkyWheel. I’ve been on this thing probably a total of 20 times in my life, and it is a tourist attraction, so I thought, why not? When I showed it to her, she was so shocked; she had such an animated personality. She proceeded to say “We have one of these where I’m from, but this one is so much bigger!” in a chime that I would recognize even to this day if I heard it. I remember getting on it with her and all that happened was. Silence.

That silence was something that changed my life. I was always surrounded by noise, my sisters nonstop crying, my parents screaming at me to get the dishes done, and continuous gunshots and screaming from my friends when we played call of duty. How was I okay with silence? I looked at this girl began to realize that I felt oddly comfortable, that I spent a whole afternoon talking to this girl and I then sporadically thought about the end, the time when we’d have to part ways, strangely enough, I remember not wanting that. It was also my first time my mind raced to an ending.

When we stepped off the SkyWheel, she looked at me and said the sentence I had in the back in my head. “I have to go now, thanks for spending time with me.” And she left, she was gone, I didn’t have a chance to say anything to her, to ask for her number or anything. I didn't know where she was staying. She just ran off. I spent the rest of the summer wandering alone again. And did the same thing for the next summer and the next.

Everytime that I’m on the boardwalk in Myrtle beach I think about her. Was her visit a one time thing? Was she in the same scenario as me? Every summer I spend here I became so bored out of my mind that I even tried to pick up in surfing but when I found out about the heavy shark activity in the east coast, I decided I liked being alive. I’ve tried to make friends with some of the local kids, but they’re always on their phones or taking pictures of each other and then going back. I never understood social media, I don’t even have an Instagram. Maybe if I did, I could find the girl that I met.

My parents tend to be super strict, therefore I’m not allowed to have anything that isn’t organic or over ten grams of sugar, or use the Internet for anything other than school work or Netflix. I have Facebook but no one uses it anymore. Plus, because of our beach house, we don’t have WiFi either and this summer was meant for family time. I came up with the excuse that my sisters crying was giving me extreme headaches, and so they just let me be on my own. Sometimes I just sit around and draw stuff in the sand or I’ll use the money I saved up with my part-time job and go see a 4D movie every other day, or take a shell carving class, or just buy street food.

Now don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy it here during the summers, but the loneliness can be overbearing. I can’t talk to my friends back home and I have difficulty making friends here, and that girl that I can’t forget. I remember when I told the story to Susanne, and she started screaming at me, I can’t really vent to anyone about it so it’s just stuck to me. Every day is just a day to myself. I mean I like to be alone. I just hate being lonely.

Things changed though. It was mid July, and I was eating an ice cream cone and just walking around the entertainment District, checking out the wax museum for the millionth time, and while I was staring at the Marilyn Monroe was figure, there was someone beside me that asked me a question “you don’t think these are real huh?” And I looked over to see who was talking to me and it was her, I dropped my ice cream cone, and I was silent for a bit, I looked at her. She aged a bit, I mean so did i but it was shocking, like it was out of a story or something.

“How’d you find me?!” I asked her, she stared at me with very endearing eyes, as if she knew what she was pulling. She didn’t say anything back to me, she just smiled and walked out. I obviously followed her out and I re-asked the question “where have you been?!” And she just responded with “all that matters is I’m here now.” What? Well I wasn’t in the position to argue, I was happy to see her; I thought I’d never see her again. We walked out, and we caught up with what was happening with life, and I finally was able to ask “hey, could I please know your name so you don��t have to disappear again? I have to apply for colleges soon, so I might not be here next summer. My name is Alex.” She laughed at me.

“Oh look, the sun’s setting.”

The story “Summer school” is a lighthearted mystery story that was based off something that actually happened, sleep deprivation can cause kids to do some really silly things, and this was my experience. Many people leap ahead in summer school, or night school or just somewhere that isn’t regular school. The main character is sleep deprived and “loses” her glasses. She goes on a small journey (maybe like 5 minutes) to find them again. When she does find her glasses, the journey is what made her find opportunity.

Summer school It was around lunchtime and me and my friend Nas were trying to stay awake by looking at funny internet photos and new music, summer school is meant for two things and two things only. Sleep deprivation and high marks. Once that lunchtime was over, we both had to part ways to head to our own classes.   I was sitting around in my summer School Classroom. The cool breeze of the air conditioning was so comforting. I was leaping ahead with English and I just made sure to get all of my work done ahead of time so I could just laze around. I had some really late nights and because of my fatigue, I decided to get some shut-eye on my desk. I placed my face into my folded arms to keep my head off of the surface of the desk. As I hear the typing of the keyboards around me, I was irritated and was not able to fall asleep in such a room. I lifted my head back up shortly. I found myself not being able to see. I felt a slight panic. I looked at my friend beside me, and they looked at me. I asked them, “Where are my glasses?” The familiar golden rims that I would see in my peripheral vision were gone, I was thinking, “What shall I do without my fair golden Glasses?!” That’s not actually what I thought, I just thought it was cool to think that. But I was curious to know where they went, I paid too much for those glasses just to lose them. They looked at me and smiled. I was confused as well as annoyed because they have a tendency to tease me for no reason. They replied with “I don't know.” Their line of sight wasn’t direct with mine, but it never is. All they cared about is getting an easy mark, they were of no help. Believing that he was teasing me once again, I just got up and asked my other friend. They also did the same thing, I started to get really irritated. I told them “I like seeing things clearly, you know. It is almost like it is my favourite sense- Maybe taste instead... Sight and taste together is pretty neat.” They kept trying to hold back laughter, I was really mad and no one took me seriously! I asked my teacher if I could go outside for a little bit and she allowed me to. I decided to call Nas, who was leaping ahead in math, to ask her if I left them with her at our lunch break. She said no, and I called her at the wrong time because she was in the middle of a math test. I still don’t get how she was able to answer. I went back into class and everyone was still doing their readings. I just sat at the table towards the glass windows and just watched the trees sway away. It was so nice outside, too bad that I was stuck inside for the next 4 hours. I put my head back down and actually fell asleep shortly. I had a short daydream about getting the mark I wanted in ENG4U. How I was able to rub it in everyone’s face that I got a 90 in the class and how I’d be on my way to going to university and everything would be fine and dandy. My teacher called on me and I jumped up. I went to go see what she was doing and as to why she called me. she was showing me one of the essays I did, and how I could have gotten a 100% if I didn’t make the small spelling mistakes and at that point I was tired, and a failure. When I’m tired, everything seems magnified by 100%. I honestly think the experience of senior level summer school has caused my caffeine addiction. I can’t seem to go a day without either an iced coffee or an energy drink. If not, I’ll be so tired. A few days before the glasses incident, A few days ago I went to the gas station before school, and since the only place to buy food near C. W  Jeffrey is the gas station. I had a choice between the lovely red bull that tasted like battery acid, another iced coffee from Tim Hortons, or 5-hour energy. Something about the 5-hour energy scared me, when I brought it to class, I asked my peers if it was even legal to sell this to a child, we were around it as if it was an illegal substance, I was actually Terrified of it honestly, so I just kept it in my pencil pouch and kept it as a souvenir. It’s like a trophy of how far I had to go to stay away. 5-hour energy! About 30 minutes passed by since misplaced my glasses, and I’ve started to lose my patience. I was blessed with an air-conditioned library and a gorgeous view, but no one was helping, at all. Everyone was hurrying up to finish their essays and I finally lost my marbles. I finally got up and in a stern voice asked the majority of the people around me with the assumption that it was stolen and said “Who took my glasses!?” everyone that heard me looked at me and started laughing. Even my teacher did, it was embarrassing. I haven’t been laughed at like this since 5th grade. It wasn’t as mortifying. One of my classmates opened their camera on their phone and took a picture of me, and I was confused as to why, I asked her “why are you taking a photo of me?” I started to search for stains on my clothes, I was genuinely lost. Everyone was just looking at me and giggling, I just wanted my glasses. Everyone stopped laughing after a few minutes and the girl that took my photo showed it to me. The glasses were on my forehead. “Apparently you stole your own glasses.” they replied. Man, I felt dumb. I sat back down in shame and fixed my glasses back on. I went onto my phone to see that the girl posted it on her Instagram account that was meant for funny pictures. I thought it was funny and soon enough that girl became my friend. So did the guys that laughed at me. Michelle, and Kyle, they were really fun to talk to and when summer school was over, we all hung out during August. It was a ton of fun. “Maybe losing” my glasses was supposed to happen, to show my personality to people that didn’t really know me. Once summer school ended, and the final exam was written, we got our report cards and I got back a 94, talk about an overachiever!  

[bainhardt]

FALL 2018 ANIME - FRIDAY

Dakaretai Otoko 1-i ni Odosarete Imasu. - Oh hey, it’s a BL show. I can’t remember the last time I watched a legitimate BL anime.

I actually like the protag, but I don’t like the love interest, which is pretty disappointing... And it sort of rushed into the sexytime stuff. There were multiple kisses in this first episode alone, and even one of those fade-to-next-morning sex scenes. Isn’t that a little fast paced? At least the guys have nipples in this one.

Right, got a bit sidetracked there. The main characters are actors, one of whom is a veteran and one of whom is new to the scene. It’s pretty standard fare as far as BL plots go. I can’t tell if there’s going to be a broader cast, but I would sure hope so, because the chemistry between the main pair isn’t so entertaining that it could carry the show alone. Oh, or maybe this will go on to be about different characters in different circumstances, like an anthology?

The lead is a fun character, but I’m not sure there’s a lot else here for me. Maybe if some other cute guys show up I could be roped back into this one, but for now it’s a No.

Gakuen Basara - It’s an anime taking the characters from Sengoku Basara and putting them in high school. I didn’t get a lot out of this one, because I’ve never played a single Sengoku Basara game.

The animation is okay, but has a sort of drab, unappealing color scheme that’s tough to explain. The characters look all right though, as I had to go look people up and so ended up comparing them to their in-game counterparts.

I stopped watching at the commercial break because it just wasn’t funny or entertaining to me. Maybe if you really love the games, there could be something to this one, but for me it’s definitely No.

Irozuku Sekai no Ashita kara - The premise for this anime is practically bludgeoned over your head in one of the least elegant opening scenes I’ve ever watched. The lead girl meets her grandma to watch some fireworks, and the grandma basically says, “I’m going to send you back in time.” Why? And the girl doesn’t even get a choice; she sounds like she’s hearing about this for the first time. Seems kind of cruel, don’t you think?

But the art is very pretty, and the atmosphere is soft. The protagonist is a bore, but they introduced some other characters who could prove to be fun enough to make up for her. I guess magic is real, so there’s that, and the lead girl can’t see color, except for in drawings done by this one guy we barely got to meet. Some whimsical stuff going on here.

For a show that looks high budget as this, I desperately hope it provides more story. This episode, quite literally, raised more questions than it gave answers. I am actually a bit curious though. I think it’s a solid Maybe.

Hinomaru Sumo - I’m really surprised... but this one was very good!

It’s a shounen anime about sumo. I can’t tell if sumo is really something very popular or not, but this anime (like all good shounen) manages to make it look like the coolest shit in the world. Production quality is above-average, and the cast has unique designs. Voice acting really packed a punch too.

That said, I’m not sure I’m super invested in it. I think it’s good, but idk that I really care to watch it that much? Maybe I’ll come back to it if I get bored. A weird “I approve, but No.”

Tonari no Kyuuketsuki-san - Uwah, I’m blown away. I think this is my favorite show I’ve watched so far this season!! I was not prepared for that.

A girl goes into the woods to meet a “living doll,” but she turns out to be a vampire. Also, she doesn’t live in the woods. They end up becoming friends, and then the protag basically strongarms her way into moving in with the vampire.

It’s a very silly premise, but the jokes landed one after another. I was laughing a lot! And I took a lot of screencaps, too. It reminded me of my halcyon days unabashedly anime blogging on this very blog.

I’m absolutely sold. This one’s my easiest and most enthusiastic Yes!

Uchi no Maid ga Uzasugiru - I like this one. Sorry. Yes. 

Jokes aside, I took a break after Kyuuketsuki-san, so here seems the perfect interval to talk about this show, because I actually watched it last week.

It’s about a woman who used to serve in the military, but applies to work as a maid in her return to civilian life. The young girl in her care hates her, and doesn’t want a maid in the house, no matter what it takes. It’s the kind of plot that reminds me of a movie, but I haven’t been able to place which one. Huh.

I thought it was decently funny, and the production quality was high - the art in this show places it among the growing ranks of “best looking from the season.” I absolutely love the ending sequence! It might be my favorite of them all.

So why the “sorry?” Well, the maid is... I’ll use a euphemism here. If the maid was offered the opportunity to transform herself into a little girl à la Cagliostro from Granblue Fantasy, she would enthusiastically accept. Here’s hoping it stays far away from anything perverse.

I said already, but Yes... for now.

Kishuku Gakkou no Juliet - This was one of those shows where as soon as I started the episode, I wanted it to be over. Still, I tried to endure as much of it as I was able. Surprisingly, I watched the whole thing.

It’s really not that bad. The art looks nice, so you can tell they tried. But the plot totally lost me. It’s a very basic Romeo & Juliet set up: there’s two factions at a school of some kind and they hate each other. But the main man from one side and the leading lady from the other end up in a relationship, which they keep a secret.

The thing I don’t get, however, is why these two factions hate each other. They were seriously brawling - an entire student body of high schoolers beating the shit out of each other, over which dorm they live in, or something? And at the end of the first episode, the two protags duel with real swords! This doesn’t appear to be a full-on fantasy universe, so why is everyone fighting so much?

It’s not awful by any stretch, but I get the impression this is going to be one of those romances where every development is agonizing. I feel a little bad ragging on it so much, especially because the ending scene actually did make me smile. I simply don’t have it in me to watch stuff like this very often anymore. No.

Yagate Kimi ni Naru - Ohhh... it’s good. It’s really good.

Okay, well, as far as romances go, I don’t know that I would describe it as anything particularly ambitious or mold-breaking, but still. It’s just... one of those instances where they set the standard very high. It’s Quality™.

A girl starting her first year in high school is rused into joining the student council. She’s been putting off replying to a confession from a middle school friend because she can’t tell whether she actually wants to date him. But she meets one of her senpai, who shares her feelings exactly: “Up until now, when someone’s said they like me, it’s never made my heart flutter.”

The protag is so cute, I want everything to go well for her. Although I think she might have an ever-so-slightly high expectation of love (she seems heavily influenced by manga and popular songs), I also understand her desire to really feel it, and not simply go with the motions or be in a relationship “just because.” She’s a pretty relatable character, though I want to see what the rest of the cast ends up contributing.

The art is so pretty! I love everything about how the scenery and characters look. There were these novel first-person scenes used sparingly, and to great effect. Soft, pleasant bgm, too.

It’s such a comfy anime. Yes.

CONCLUSION - Yeesh... That was a lot. I’m happy though, because Friday has some seriously good shows lined up! I probably wouldn’t have checked out Kyuuketsuki-san or Yagate Kimi ni Naru, so I was missing out.

Going off of MAL though, my total is already at 10 shows. That’s almost too many, maybe... Depending on how many I truly end up with, I might actually make some cuts, lol.

[datinginthedot]

New year, old relationship

I originally wrote this post on November 4th, the two month mark of my relationship with Mr. Handyman. I was absolutely smitten and never ended up posting it as we were were just too infatuated with each other to spend a moment apart. HE was my priority- not my silly little dating blog!

After everything that has transpired this past weekend (spoiler alert) I feel incredibly upset rereading this. What happened!? 

At the time this is how I felt and what I wrote:

No one wants to hear me win and have the best life. No one wants to hear about our passionate make out sessions or him being the absolute sexiest [handy]man in the world… no one wants to hear how he gazed into my eyes and told me all the things he loved about me. No one wants to hear how I’m in a very happy place in my life having a normal time doing normal relationship things with a normal guy (read: better than average ie great).

But if you do care to hear about some of my success in the dating world you can continue to read on.

Everything between me and Mr. handyman has been a dream. I've never been with someone quite as attentive and caring towards me. He doesn't need to tell me how much he loves me, although he has (more on this later) because I can feel it through his touch and actions. When we go out he lets me be the life of the party. He may be more reserved but he's the ying to my yang. He listens to my every word and legitimately cares to hear what I have to say. The mutual respect is strong and I never have to question our level of trust.

What I like most is the amount of quality time we spend together. We can see each other for five days in a row and there is never a dull moment. Whether we are going to a concert/event together, watching a movie, going for cocktails or buying a TV from Best Buy everything is so effortless. In fact, I kind of like the mundane moments the best. I LIKE going grocery shopping/cooking and driving around in his truck. I LIKE the way he wants to hold my hand while driving. Or the way our knees are touching when we eat dinner or the massages he’ll give me while watching a movie. He is so absolutely adorable and makes me feel so genuinely loved. Plus he looks like an Italian male model so I'm also fine with that.

Sometimes I think— that's it, i've won the game (the game being dating). It's pretty soon- but in this month so many things of happened. We have practically spent almost every day together and this is not something I see ending anytime soon.

Plot twist: Earlier today, we broke up.

To be honest, the wound is fresh but I feel like writing this post will help me come to terms with it.

The bottom line is that my intellectual needs were not being met. I live for stimulating conversation about big-picture ideas and just enjoy general discussion. Something I mentioned to him on more than one occasion.

That said, you can’t change someone. Nor did I want to.

After landing my dream job at the end of a five-week-contract (officially beginning Jan 3rd) my life has changed. I have serious goals and am surrounded by highly motivated individuals.

My goals do not revolve around living on my moms couch, smoking cigarettes/weed on a frequent basis or ‘thinking goals are stupid’.

I strive to be the best I can be in all aspects of my life. I want to surround myself with inspiring people who can add value to my existence and achieve my personal vision of success before I’m 30. I recognize where I am now and where I need to be... and I will get there.

During our relationship I noticed that whenever something important happened to me, the first people I wanted to tell were my friends... not my boyfriend red flag #1. The reason being that he would probably just respond with “cool” or his classic “I don’t know” said with the intonation of a grumpy 12-year-old boy.

I wanted more out of my relationship yet at the same token couldn’t expect him to change. To be fair, he had been consistent from the day I met him in regards to intellectual curiosity. What made me think he would suddenly develop a mental tenacity to learn now?

The straw that broke the camels back was this past New Year’s. He invited me to his house for a house ‘party’.

Earlier that day, I came to the realization of just how empty I felt. Despite being a in a relationship I was mentally lonely. Over the day my feelings transpired into resentment. It didn’t help that I met someone in a coffeeshop with my mom (lol) that sparked my intellectual curiosity. He engaged me in a conversation that checked off all of my ‘ideal conversation’ boxes. We talked at a high-level about the acceleration of technology, societal advancements, human-nature, the future of design and travel. For the first time in months I felt like I was having a conversation with another male that was adding value to my life. Though there was no sexual attraction I still gave him my number to continue our conversation. We are meeting for coffee tomorrow. But I digress, the point is- the lack of engaging conversation in my relationship made me feel resentment.

My feelings were brewing and by the time I arrived to the ‘party’ (which encompassed Mr. Handyman's MOM, fabulous brother, stunning sister and a sprinkling of friends) I was beside myself. 

For starters, I walked into a silent room of everyone about to do some orange-flavoured jello-shots. The vibe was just off. I sat at the kitchen table camouflaged with almost every carbacious finger food under the sun. Handyman’s mother was a cooking machine constantly replenishing the spring rolls, mini spinach quiches and cheesy ‘za. 

I noticed that every 10-15 minutes everyone would go outside to smoke weed and cigarettes. Because I wasn’t interested in either I stayed inside making small talk with the mom. The cycle of indoor snacking sessions followed by miserable smoking ones continued. I hung around for just short of 2 hours.

This ‘party’ was simply DISMAL. That’s the only way to put it. The look on everyone’s face was somber and I’ll never forget looking at one of the friends who stared at the ground mouthing the lyrics to an Anti Rihanna song while stirring the straw in her blue solo cup glumly.

This last week our relationship was strained (re: Christmas festivities) and due to my pent up hostility, sitting at that table I could feel myself on the verge of exploding. I was shaking out of anger. WHY WAS I THERE?! WHAT VALUE WERE THESE DEADBEATS BRINGING ME?!

I could go on forever about all of the nuances that made my blood boil but ultimately at 10:45pm I had to leave. I seriously HAD to. It wasn’t an option to stay. I rather make a clean break than burst into tears ruining my perfectly-applied glitter and double-stacked lash NYE makeup. I didn’t consider the feelings of my ‘boyfriend’, his mother or quite frankly any of the other individuals at the party.

I called an Uber and luckily when no-one was on the porch I made my getaway. 

After I departed, nine missed phone calls were interspersed with the following messages. I made sure to turn off location sharing immediately:

Maybe I should have answered, or even responded with a cool ‘I had to leave. Let’s talk tomorrow’ text. But I did not. I went to my friends house where I proceeded to do a scandalous outfit change from my nun-style dress to some plunging-neckline Kim K body con realness.

I felt great.

The rest of my night was great.

I woke up to the following two texts:

*You’re

In contrast with:

...Skeptical of the “1/2″ numbering scheme (do people still have text messaging limits in 2017?!) I appreciated the message from the guy I had met at the cafe.

Back to the topic at hand: Later today Handyman came over to drop of the keys he had to my apartment (long story short he had my moms spare) along with the bar tools I accidentally left at his house in my hasty exit.

Finally convincing him to sit down we talked it out. 

I didn’t mean to be wishy-washy but it was hard in the moment. I explained how I wasn’t happy... yet I didn’t want to let him go. I wanted to break up yet I also longed to hug him. 

He was PISSED. He explained how everyone at the party viewed me as a ‘controlling bitch’ because I made the sentiment “you can smoke all you want... I just won’t date you” alongside other uncalled for remarks.

Do I regret my actions? Absolutely not. The relationship ran it’s course and he was not adding value to my life.

Was I wildly attracted to him? Absolutely. But his intellect was lacking for me. I’m not saying he wasn’t smart but in the context of engaging discussions... simply put, there were none. I didn’t even care WHAT he talked about, I just wanted to feel close to him in some verbal capacity! I tried to watch movies and spark a preceding conversation. Nope. Send articles to discuss, nope. Talk about current events.. again, just nothing.

Breakups are never easy. There is no ‘good way’ to do it. It was hard seeing him burst into uncontrollable tears sobbing wildly into my neck. Tugged at the heart strings if you will. Cue the waterworks on my end. In fact cut to both of us sobbing- kleenex’s being pulled out of the box by the dozen. Thanks Costco! It was disorderly!

After a long poignant embrace by the door, I kissed his cheek softly and said goodbye.

I feel bad for the guy. He has a heart of gold but we just weren’t a great match. I think our best lives consisted of different things. I wasn’t happy and I didn’t want to change him. I think that’s fair! Moreover, I didn’t want to lead him on any longer after my realization.

I also recognized that the second I felt more negative emotions coming to the forefront than positive ones... I know a change needed to occur.

Though I suspect our grieving processes will be vastly different from one another I truly hope he is okay. Like I said, I do not hold any animosity towards him but the thought of him with another girl makes me feel sick.

But hey, I think that’s normal.

On the positive side thanks to Mr. Handyman for installing my TV, painting my wall, putting up a hook in my bathroom, making me a custom cutting board and most sentimentally, spending over 30+ hours carving me a beautiful heart shaped box for Christmas...

Fuck I miss him.

[evilelitest2]

100 Days of Trump, Day 16: Stalag 17, Mobs mentality

So last time in the Russians are Coming we talked about how the Right loves to make up imaginary enemies to fight against and angry mobs form around these phanton enemies very quickly.  Now lets talk about when there actually is an enemy in your midst trying to undermine you for real, and how people react to that, Stalag 17.

Full movie right there 

   The movie is set in a German POW camp for American airmen and the plot kicks off when the Americans discover that somebody in their barracks is tipping the Germans off to their plans, and how the community as a whole reacts to it.  Its also a hilarious comedy and unlike the previous movie, makes use of heightened reality wonderfully and I thoroughly recommend it.  But I can’t really talk about why this matters to Trump until you watch the film cause spoilers, so go watch the movie like right now and come back here when you’re done, everything below the silly picture is spoiler stuff

Ok so if you are here then you have either watched the movie, or don’t care about spoilers for a movie from 1953.  So the movie has a lot of great things to say, but what is relevant to us is the main plot-line with the spy. The Americans are correct that there is a spy in their barracks who has gotten two of them killed, they just need to figure out who it is.  And the prime suspect is J.J. Sefton.

Sefton is greedy, selfish, callus, miserly, and utterly amoral, he doesn’t care about anyone but himself and trades regularly with the guards to add to his stash.  He doesn’t do anything for free and has a little hoard of goods that he sits on except when it comes time to trade, which he does at exploitative rates.  he designs all of these very clever systems to get people’s cigarettes (he doesn’t smoke them, just trades them), like a window at the women’s dorm or a race between various mice.  He is a selfish bastard and he gets away with it because since everybody is trading, you can’t really say that he isn’t just doing a more hardcore version of what everybody else is doing.  He is introduced by betting that two escapes aren’t going to make it out of the camp, and makes a fortune doing it.  

So the community as a whole doesn’t like him and so they want him to be the spy, after all he is a selfish bastard and they don’t like him anyways.  But this is a big problem with how we imagine spies, because we don’t think as much about actually solving the problem as we think about pandering to our existing emotional prejudices under the pretense of solving a problem.  The community wants it to be Sefton because 

A) They don’t like him anyways

B) They can get his stuff if he is the snitch

C) the alternative, the truth if he is innocent, is that one of their own might be a spy and they don’t want to imagine a reality where somebody who they like could actually be evil. 

We like simplicity, we like to imagine bad guys are jerks and good guys are nice, and the thought of having to suspect people we like is scary and uncomfortable, far easier to just blame the guy we hate anyways.

   But here is the thing....actual spies aren’t stupid.  Just like with real life McCathism, no communist spies weren’t stupid enough to become prominent members of left wing organizations....they joined right wing organizations.  Because if you wanted to be a spy, you would try to look as unlike the person you were working for as possible.    So of course, the actual spy is all america, super pleasant, and always trying to do the most to help

Because if you were a spy, of course you would fucking do that.  And he gets himself appointed barrack security, because that is exactly what a spy would want to be.  A real spy would spend his time pissing people off trying to make a fortune, a spy would instead try to make himself as useful to everybody so he can get access to American codes and battle plans.  

  This type of stupidity is totally on display with Trump’s campaign, because here is the thing.

Actual Muslim Terrorist aren’t stupid enough to come in as refugees.

FUCKING DUH 

   Considering how everybody is suspecting that the refugees are terrorists, no actaul terrorist would be dumb enough to pretend to be a refugee, it would draw too much attention.  Actual terrorists try to avoid attention.  Which is why the Muslim ban wouldn’t work, they would just come from another country and pretend not to be muslim.  Or why security pulling over people in “middle eastern clothing” whatever the fuck that means doesn’t do anything, cause lets look at the 9/11 terrorists 

hey how many of them are wearing headscarves, or turbans or have very “arabic” facial hair?  Oh that;s right, fucking none of them.  Because they don’t want to draw attention to themselves.  Actual terrorists, just like actual spies, are smart enough to take your prejudices into account, they aren’t going to be stopped by simple minded bigotry, you have to be actually...smart to fight them.  

    The people in Stalag 17 aren’t evil, we spend most of the movie watching their goofy highjinks and enjoying their silly behavior, we like them and know them to be well meaning nice people. So when they become part of an angry mob that attempts to lynch a man for just being a jerk, we understand how tempting this kind of mob rage is, and how dangerous it is.  Sefton is a jerk, but being a jerk isn’t punishable by violence, and in going after him they destroy the very rule set of their own society all to go after the wrong fucking guy. 

This is why we have rule of law, this is why we have innocent until proven guilty, this is why we don’t just allow people to take justice into their own hands, because people instead try to justify their own prejudices rather than actually solve the problem.

We live in a dangerous world, and there are people who want to destroy America and kill Americans for their own evil ends, and they are trying to infiltrate  our society and wipe us out, that is all true, but to go after them we can’t just use their presence as an excuse to give into our own violent desire for simplicity (this applies to the left as well).  You need to play smart, because they aren’t going to be stupid enough for simplicity to be the answer.