#hey guys did you know they made a book about trek books

[trillscienceofficer]

The Lives of Dax (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) Marco Palmieri, Editor December 1999 (347pp) Originally published in trade paperback Marco [Palmieri] remarked, “The Lives of Dax holds a special place in my heart. It wasn't the first Star Trek project I worked on after joining Pocket [Books], but it was the first one I'd originated. To me, the idea for it was the perfect synthesis of character and format: Joined Trills are serial beings—living anthologies—and it seemed only natural that their biographies would be anthological. Add to that the fact that Dax is literally almost as old as all of Star Trek's entire future history, which gave us a single point-of-view (albeit an evolving one) through which to experience that history. It's one of the project I'm most proud of.”

From “Voyages of Imagination: The Star Trek Fiction Companion” by Jeff Ayers (2006)

[mattslolita]

daddy issues - c. sturniolo ( 001. )

in which ... whilst trying to sneak over to your house one night, chris experiences the unwarranted wrath of your father firsthand — and he learns the truth about everything you experience behind closed doors. ( best friend!chris x black!fem!reader )

warnings ; angst, fighting, crying, mentions of abuse, drug use, and self harm

"𝒈𝒐 𝒂𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒄𝒓𝒚 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍, 𝒏𝒐𝒃𝒐𝒅𝒚 𝒅𝒐𝒆𝒔 𝒊𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒐."

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰

the cold night air made shivers crawl up chris sturniolo's spine as he made the familiar trek to your one story home — you lived on the rougher side of the neighborhood, but he didn’t mind the escape from his side. sure it was sketchy, yet knowing that you were close by gave him a sort of comfort.

it began in the second grade when you had just switched schools due to the scholarship you recieved — you had originally gone somewhere on your side of town, but your mom gathered up enough money to be able to send you off there. and that’s how chris met you; a group of boys had been name calling you, talking shit about where you came from. a bloody nose and suspension later, he had officially become your best friend. you still weren’t too close with his brothers, yet they were always respesctful and nice to you. matt was the quietest of them, but nonetheless polite; nick was nice, but you sometimes got a feel that he didn’t particularly favor you — he wasn’t a snobby rich kid, but the vibes weren’t all the way there. chris said that nick was just protective about the girls chris let into his life, being that over the years they had done him dirty.

but you were his best friend — you guys talked about everything and did everything together. you both had practically been attached at the hip, and although you ran in different crowds at school, chris never left you out unless it was something you wanted. he was very protective of you, especially when the guys on the lacrosse had tried flirting with you or trying to hit a few times, but he made sure they had stayed away from you.

he rubbed his calloused hands together, looking to see if the side of your home to make sure the coast was clear — chris knew that you rarely liked to have him come over because you despised your home life, but he insisted many times that no matter what it wouldn’t change how he viewed you.

he quietly makes his way towards your bedroom window, grinning as he sees your nightlight on — you had your nose buried in the book after, and it made him shake his head and smile having seen that movie with you. your brown legs glimmered in the dim light as they laid criss-cross in front of you whilst your eyes scanned the pages.

chris picked up a small rock and pelts it at the window, causing you to gasp lightly and jolt as you quickly turn towards the window. he grins when he sees your unimpressed expression staring back at him, scurrying towards the window and opening it.

“chris, you know my window gon break easily!” you whisper shouted at him, stepping aside as he crawled through.

“i know a guy who can install one y/n, just give me the-”

“boy, please get yo ass over there so i can close this, it’s freezing!” you complain quietly, chris grunting as he runs a hand through his hair whilst he steps to the side to let you close the window.

from behind you, he examines the knotless braids that adorn your head as well as the side view of your glasses that frame your eyes — one of his favorite things about you were your glasses and cute you looked with him. he had his fun once in a while, taking them off then holding them above your head as you tried to reach for them helplessly, usually ending up in a painful punch to the arm from you.

“hey sweetheart, look what i got for us,” chris smirks, pulling you to turn around by your waist as he fishes a joint from behind his ear, holding it up to you proudly.

“chris, i don’t know if i can…” you say, chewing your lip anxiously as you fix your glasses on your face, “my dad might smell it and lose his shit.”

“i doubt he’ll notice, y/n,” chris reassures you, moving to sit down on your bed, motioning for you to follow him, “c’mere, try and relax with me.”

he pats the spot next to him, and you roll your eyes and sit there reluctantly — you watch as chris pulls a lighter out of his pocket, holding it up to the joint he held to his lips and lighting it. you tried not to do drugs because the memory of your mom overdosing on them was too painful, and it’d remind you of her. drinking alcohol was also on the list of not to dos, seeing as your dad was a drunk — you were too embarrassed to tell chris about it, because you didn’t want him to view you as the girl with the wrong side of the tracks with a dead, junkie mom and drunk dad. chris was only ever down to do these things with you if it was something you expressed interest in.

he inhales the joint and blows the smoke towards the window, tapping it a few times before rubbing his thumb across his nose and offering it to you. “here, your turn.”

chris puts one arm around the small of your back, rubbing comforting circles as you take the joint and hold them up to your lips — he watches you with an amused expression as you fix your glasses, your nose crinkling at the strong scent.

before you could inhale anything, a sudden bang sounded on the other side of your door causing your heart to thump in your chest as you quickly shove the blunt back into chris’s hand. his eyebrows furrow in confusion as you jump up and make your way to your door, opening it just a crack.

“hi, daddy,” your voice cracks, a tight-lipped smile forming onto your face as you stare up at the man, “is everything okay?”

the six foot man towers over your barely five foot four figure in the doorway, glaring angrily at you as he stumbles slightly before turning up a forty ounce — you gulp and watch as the liquid rides down his throat, the posion in his insides causing his eyes to flame up as his nostrils flare at you.

“you been too quiet in here, little girl,” he slurs, shoving his foot in between your door and the wall, “what the hell you doin’ up in here?”

“i’m not doin nothin’ daddy, i’m j-just readin’,” you stutter out, fear evident in your eyes as he rubs across his nose and shakes his nose. “do you want me to-”

“get on out the damn way…”

your dad shoves you to the side, and you tremble as he forces his way into your room — chris sits there in shock, blunt still in hand as his eyes immediately land on your dad. 

“a fuckin…a fuckin dude, up in here y/n?” his voice booms, throwing the forty ounce bottle at the wall beside you, causing you to let out a cry as the glass nearly hits you.

“yo, what the fuck?” chris immediately jumps up from his spot, the blunt long forgotten as it’s smashed out when chris pulls his pants up and begins to jet towards you.

“don’t go near her,” your dad sneers at chris, grabbing the young boy’s collar as he holds him up by his shirt, causing your eyes to widen.

“daddy stop, it’s just my best friend!” you wail, trying to get him off of chris, but to no avail. he continues to shake chris up, still having him held up by the collar.

“get the fuck off of me!” chris spat, a fire in his eyes you didn’t recognize — it wasn’t often where chris got mad mad, and it was definitely a sight to see after what happens.

"what kid, you think you tough? think you can fight me off?" your dad jeers, droplets of spittle landing on chris's face as his grip on the boy was unwavering.

chris jerked in your dad's grasp, and that was enough for you to take matters into your own hands — you sprinted into the kitchen, your eyes darting around the messy room as your eyes landed on the pan over the stove. thank goodness it was turned off, but your instincts knew what you had to do.

grabbing the pan, you turn the hall and rush back into your room — your eyes widened, seeing as your dad had slammed chris against the wall now, and the poor boy look like he was struggling to breathe at this point.

without a second though, you slammed the pan against your dad's head; his grip on chris had ceased immediately, causing him to fall to the floor, a thud sounding as a result.

you stood in shock, the tears streaming down your face as you stared down at your concussed dad — chris was in a state of shock as well; he looked over at you and your brokenhearted expression, and a sharp pain tugged at his heartstrings.

he would've never guessed his best friend had been going through these things.

all those nights you'd stay over his place started to make sense now, as you covered it up with just wanting to spend more time with him, making up for loss time you didn't hang out at school; the faint bruises you tried to hide with makeup, but chris studied you closely, he knew everything about you — he felt like a shit best friend, because now he thought you didn't trust him enough to tell him in depth the things that happened to you.

"i'm sorry, chris..." you choked, finally having torn your eyes away from your dad as they now were fixated on chris, "you weren't supposed to see this...any of it..."

"hey, hey, hey, you have nothing to be sorry for, y/n," chris says immediately, stepping over your dad's frame as he makes his way towards you.

he pulls you into his arms, his warm embrace causing you to melt as more choked sobs escape your lips — he whispers sweet nothings into your ear as he holds you close to him, wanting nothing more than to protect you.

and get you away from this.

"how long as this been happening, y/n?" chris asks you when he senses that you've calmed down.

"um...since momma's died," you tell him quietly, a sniffle sounding from your nose, "not immediately after, i'd say a few months."

"this shit's been happening since fucking fifth grade?" chris seethes, and now you feel the anger radiating off of him.

"yeah, but p-please chris, don't worry about me," you tell him, breaking out of his hold as you look up at him, "i'm fine-"

"no, you aren't fine," chris immediately interrupts you, his gaze stern, "i understand if you didn't want to tell me about this, but now that i know, i'm doing what i can to keep you away from this."

your eyebrows furrowed as you took your glasses off and wiped your tears away, giving him a look of confusion. "what do you mean? wait, chris...please, i'm begging you, don't go to the police about it. i'm not eighteen yet, they gon send me to foster care, and-"

"if it's what you want, i won't," chris sighs, and you nod to him, rubbing your arm as you look around your room, "but you're coming to stay with us for a few days."

your eyes widened. "chris, i can't just intrude on y'all family like that. what's yo parents gonna say?"

"you know my mom loves you, y/n," chris shakes his head, "and everybody will be fine with it, alright? it's just like the sleepovers we had as kids."

at the fond memory, you smiled as you remembered the many sleepovers you've had in the sturniolo household — one particular one, it was your eleventh birthday; marylou being the sweetest soul she was invited you over to celebrate with them. you had a cake, candles, ice cream, but more importantly, you had chris. even nick and matt were sweet to you on the occasion, making you extra happy. she took you all to chucky e cheese, and you remember being in the ticket blaster and how everyone clapped for you with the amount of tickets you got. when you all came home, you had fallen asleep on the bed pallet marylou and jimmy set up for you, with moana playing in the background — and you never felt it in your sleep, but chris planted a gentle kiss to your cheek, promising you that every birthday you had would be a special one if it was up to him.

you smiled at chris, a tear escaping your eyes. "okay, i'll stay with y'all."

( lilly's section 💌 )

yes gang, this will be a sad series😆 but not to fear, bff chris finna be on LOCKKKK this man will do anything to protect you. i hope you guys will like this series !! no promises for an updating schedule, cause clearly y'all can see i'm inconsistent w posting😭.

to my wifey @muwapsturniolo who gave me inspo to make this a series😘😘.

@luverboychris @muwapsturniolo @mrssturnioloo @mattsturniolosleftnut @sturnprime @thenickgirl @guccifrog @nickgetsmewetter @eyeliketoeatpoosay @e1ias3 @sp3aknaur @middlepartmatt @summerssover @riasturns @sturn777 @l0akkzz @hysteria-things @pinksturniolo @chrissturniolossidehoe @chris-slut @hoesformatt @raysmayhem-72 @lanas-doll @chrisssluttywaist @mbbsgf @jetaimevous @chaossturns @cottoncandyswisherz

[thesixenthusiast]

ruby- eddie roundtree

part four (part one, part two, part three)

pairing: eddie rountree x fem!oc (may change to x reader) warnings: drinking/drugs (billy/daisy's addictions), profanity word count: 1.1k author's note: please bear with me in this, if there's a few time mix ups just with the order of things, please do let me know but i'm trying to find an equal balance between the book and show and it's a little difficult lol this is also a wee bit shorter than the other parts, my apologies, that issue will be fixed in the next part lol

Juliet pushed open the heavy metal doors of the fire escape staircase, there was a group of people waiting for the elevator, and based on the rich smell of weed that made the a around them thick, along with the incessant giggling, she had decided that an elevator ride with them wouldn’t be the most enjoyable of experiences, so she resorted to the stairs. 

Once she had made it up to Eddie’s floor, she stepped into the hallway, peering at the closest room number to get some sense of where she had ended up in comparison to his room. She swung her arm around the corner of one of the walls, turning left into a dead end, where Eddie’s hotel room door stood, undisturbed. 

“Hey,” she smiled, pulling open the door to see him lying down, half on the bed and staring up at the ceiling, “Damn, you good? Need me to call someone? I’m sure Billy would be happy to trek on up here and save your ass, it could give him the ego boost he so desperately needs.”

She slid down next to him on the bed, her legs hanging down onto the floor, and leaned back to line her body up with his. He turned to face his head to her and leaned against her, his head resting on her chest. 

“I don’t know,” he sighed, “But don’t you dare bring him up here,” his laugh was firm and she could tell he wasn’t kidding.

“What did he do this time?” She brought her left hand up, tangling her fingers into his hair and running them through it as he spoke. 

“He recorded a ton of my playing on the album,” she halted her movements in shock, “he told me after the show tonight, wanted to rub it in, I don’t really know.” 

He shook his head and then pulled himself up to lean against the headboard, pulling her up with him and resting her head against his shoulder. She apologized, sharing her distaste for Billy at the moment before the two fell into a comfortable silence.

“You played really well tonight, sometimes when you play you make me wish I spent more time getting Billy to like me, maybe I could’ve taken your job.” He exhaled a small laugh.

“If any of our interactions over the past couple of years signify anything, I’d say that my spot in the band is about as permanent as any of those groupies’ downstairs relationships, so please don’t go trying to steal my place because I can guarantee you will be successful.” She giggled, the light buzz from the few drinks she had downstairs starting to kick in. 

“You’ll never believe the dickhead I met tonight,” she started, “He practically admitted he had no interest in the band before tonight then asked for my number.” He laughed and put his arm around her, pulling her closer to his side.

“Oh, yeah? Clearly, someone never taught that guy proper concert etiquette,” she nearly snorted his response.

“I missed you tonight,” she mumbled, “I didn’t have anyone to play boyfriend when guys started getting creepy.”

“Hm, is that all I’m good for? Playing boyfriend?”

“Mhm, I’m glad you get it,” she turned her head into his chest and sighed against him. 

“Why’d you leave early? That’s unlike you.”

“Well it was getting late, all the remotely interesting new people started leaving and the only remotely interesting old person I knew was up here rotting in his hotel room,” she propped herself up again, “Warren had me freaked that you brought someone up here with you, thought I was gonna walk into another Billy situation. Seeing one of my bandmates getting blown is something I can deal with, but if I see another I might just have to quit the band.” 

“Would that be a bad thing?”

“Would what be a bad thing?” She asked, turning to look at him. 

“If I had brought a girl up here with me,” he avoided looking her in the eye, “Would you, would you not like that?”

Juliet could feel her heartbeat start to quicken, a knot in her stomach forming as she thought of any way to play off her response as a joke. She was broken out of her daze by Eddie sighing and pulling the crook of her neck against his head.

“Don’t leave me hanging like that, Julie. Please,” his voice was quiet. 

“What do you want me to say?” She looked down at her lap, avoiding him.

“Anything. Say yes, say no. Tell me to go fuck myself, tell me you hate me, tell me you don’t.”

She contemplated for a minute, swallowing the lump of words that was dying to be let out of her throat. She took a sigh, closing her eyes before turning to face him. His head was angled towards her, but his eyes looked anywhere but her face. She licked her lips, lifted her body with her arms pressed against the mattress, and angled her body towards his. She lifted her right hand from the bed, placing it against the side of his face, gaining his attention one last time. 

“Yes,” she mumbled, leaning in and pulling his face towards her own, finally meeting their lips together.

His reaction was instinctive, immediately leaning towards her, climbing on top of her, and pulling her off of the headboard. His hands went to both sides of her face, pulling her closer as he took her onto his lap. Her hands tangled around his neck, her fingers played with the ends of his hair, and she wrapped her legs around him as he continued to kiss her. 

After a few moments, he pulled away, panting for breath. He leaned his forehead against hers and licked his lips as he caught his breath. His hands tangled around her waist, moving down to hold her hips.

Ignoring her better judgment, she looked up at him and made direct eye contact, admiring his brown eyes. She was the first one to break the silence.

“Yes,” she repeated, “It would’ve been a bad thing.”

A smile overtook his lips as he leaned down to kiss her neck, trailing up to her jaw.

“I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t then, hm?”

[magicalyaku]

Turns out working 11-12 hours a day for two weeks straight effectively wiped all witty thoughts from my head (if I ever had some), but I’ll do my best to remember my November books. /3

15 Tage sind für immer (Here the whole time) (Vitor Martins): This one was unexpectedly nice. It basically made me smile nonstop throughout which was a good thing as I was reading it mostly at my artist alley table at Comic Con Stuttgart and you like to buy stuff from smiling people, right? 8D Felipe's mom is kinda the best. Also the German translation by Svantje Volkens was really good to read. Darius the Great is not okay (Adib Khorram): As the eternal advocate for friendship stories this one took me by surprise! I'm so not used to getting actual ones whithout romance. xD It was appreciated though. I also finally got the pop culture references! Usually I never notice or understand them because I never read or watch what's popular right now but just like Darius I grew up on Star Trek (especially The Next Generation). That was so nice~ But! I'm not sure if I would have enjoyed all the references that much if I didn't know the series. Because they were everywhere. Like take them out and there would be no book left. It was nice to learn about Iran and read about family and connections and stuff. There was also a lot of tea. I like tea. Darius the Great deserves better (Adib Khorram): I don't remember this very well. I didn't like it as much as its prequel but I'm pretty sure that was because of the suffering. Darius is having a hard time thoughout the book and that gave me a hard time, too. Not frustrating though at least. It handled that pretty well. More like a good message you have to work for? Bone Weaver (Aden Polydoros): This should be a fantasy book right up my alley. I realised, however, I'm so much more critical of female protagonists. "8D Toma did well though. Most of the time. I wish she wouldn't have fallen for Vanya (my heroines do not need any love stories thank you) but I have to give her credit for not falling for the first male person she meets (Mikhail), only for the second! And in all honesty, even though I might whine that it would have been better with Vanya x Mikhail, it would not. Because Mikhail lost Alexei (with or at least for whom he had a thing) within the first five pages of the book and having him move on within in three days ... errr The No. Well. I did enjoy the setting, the lore. And gawd I wasn't aware how much I love nicknames? Not "babe" or "sweetheart" etc but real names. Russian names provide so well in that department. Vanya was like "Hey, I'm Ivan but everyone calls me Vanya!" And everyone does! And then, 5 seconds later Mikhail goes "Ivan!" and I'm squealing because you know that at some point in the near future he will reluctantly come to like Vanya and will switch to the nickname as well and it will glorius. orz Anyway. I enjoyed the book but two things: The suffering. The physical pain. I read Mr. Polydoros' other books as well (The City Beautiful and the Assasin Fall duo) and in both the protagonists spend a lot of time in pain. Bone Weaver is no exception. It may not be "a long time" in here, but these guys are pretty broken up it's not funny. Second thing: I wish it would have been third-person instead of Toma's perspective only. I would have loved to learn more about Mikhail. What was his relationship with Koschei before? Will he be okay even when his people find out he has no more magic? The conversations, the bonding between him and Vanya. Gimme more! D: All for the Game series (Nora Sakavic): And finally this. This. I had a lot of words once but I'm reigning myself in. It was good. It was a lot of fun. I read The Foxhole Court back in September and then The Raven King in November and after I finished TRK, I went back to reread TFC ... I didn't want it to be over so soon. /D (And also my memory is shit and I read TFC while at airports, on planes and with my friends chatting next to me, so ... my excuses) I'm glad I read it only now instead of last year when I saw it the first time. (I'm a much more tolerant reader now.) But then, everything I like about the books are things I like in general: good characters, dialogues, self-references that make you leaf back or make you go "aaah" while rereading, and rewards after a long struggle. Gawd. For a hot second while reading TRK I got afraid that everything tumblr fandom teased me with might just be fan stuff instead of canon and I already felt the betrayal. 8D Then I remembered I already read the blurb for The King's Men and it was all there. Phew! Not that I read the books for the romance only. But it was so mind-boggling to know where Neil and Andrew end up when in the beginning they can't spend like two peaceful seconds with each other. So the journey was incredibly intruiging and fun. Haah. (Bonus fun: There were AFTG cosplayers at Comic Con. I only saw a flash of orange in front of my table and was like “Huh, it’s just Haikyuu” but I still took another look and there it was “Palmetto State University”! Of course I embarrassed myself in guessing the characters wrong, but it was still nice. 8D) To ease my AFTG hangover I went back to rewatching anime. I found the perfect little sibling: bad parents, abuse, anger issues, (kinda) gay, more queer kids, estranged childhood friends, boys obsessed with stupid sports, protagonist with an attitude problem and a bad mouth. I present: Stars Align! (Yes, that stupid series which ended on the worst cliffhanger and never got its second part!!! D:<) Speaking of anime, now that the worst of the christmas crunch is over and I'm having time again to actually enjoy stuff I should get back to finishing Yuri on Ice ... and ... Chainsaw Man. xD

[thepurplewombat]

U mentioned that jgy is one of your favorite characters of all time, can I ask about your other fav characters of all time? I'm very curious bc u seem to be a cultured individual

Oh boy you sure may! *turns into an unskippable cutscene*. Not so sure about a cultured individual but let's see what consensus is once I'm done.

Olay so I'm going to go roughly chronological here, because everyone who has ever been a blorbo to me is, on some level, still a blorbo. So they all still count!

Okay so at the top of the list is one Jean-Luc Picard (Star Trek The Next Generation) . My mom loves to tell the story of how I, at age three, decided I was going to marry Captain Picard and we would have six children. To be honest if he showed up in front of me today and asked me to run away with him on the Enterprise, I'm not sure I'd say no. He's such a wonderful character in so many ways - wise, kind, diplomatic. My first memory of watching television is the episode where he was assimilated by the Borg. The episode where Jean Grey from the X-men movies was an alien who became the perfect mate to the first person she saw when she hatched from her egg thing, and the first person she saw was Picard and so she still married the slimy guy from the enemy planet because Picard's perfect mate would never sacrifice duty on the altar of love lives rent-free in my mind decades later.

Dana Scully (X-Files). She's amazing. I love her. I love the fact that while she doesn't believe in the stuff Mulder does, she is openminded enough to acknowledge that science doesn't know everything, you know?

Neri from Ocean Girl. I watched this show when I was in primary school and I've got to tell you, Nonnie, for Literal Years all my Barbies wore wraps made out of rough hemp cloth. Her best friend was a whale named Charlie and she could swim underwater forever, she was amazing.

Xena (from Xena). Idk what to tell you, Nonnie, she was like, at least a third of my queer awakening.

Buffy (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) she tried. So hard. Like, she had a Destiny and she didn't want the destiny, but she was stuck with it and so she was going to do her damn best to live up to it. Spike, from the same show, is also on the list. He was just fun to watch, you know? (also Faith because I shipped her Buffy quite hard for a while)

Severus Snape, Harry Potter. He wasn't nice, but he was good, but tbh I adored him from the first time he appeared. Also, Hermione. Big hair and loves books? It me!

Everyone in Seaquest. Especially the captain and Lukas, who I'm pretty sure was included purely because TNG did it. But hey, I was like 15, I thought he was great.

Daniel Jackson, Stargate SG-1. He's just such a nerd? I love him tbh. I shipped him with Jack O'Neill but I appear to be alone in that (or all the archives where their fic was are dead now rip)

Teal'c, also from SG-1. It's just...how much courage does it take to turn on your literal actual god who is the source of your life? Also, the sass.

Garrus Vakarian, Mass Effect. I love him, your honor.

This one is chronologically in the wrong place since I read it when I was about 11, but Taita, from River God by Wilbur Smith. I loved that sneaky little asshole so damn much. I named my cat after him. (I was very annoyed when, years later, I read one of the sequels to River God, and on the first page Taita had a beard. Taita was a eunuch...)

Sarah Kerrigan, Starcraft. I could write a book about her. I have written a book about her. The first thing I ever wrote was a Starcraft fanfic (I had no idea fanfic even existed) about Kerrigan's clone Tedra. I'm weak for stories about evil governments, people who are treated like weapons, and assimilation narratives, so you can see why she captured my attention. (also I loved Zeratul, he was amazing)

Lestat from Interview with a Vampire. He was just cool.

There are a bunch more (I haven't even got to when I discovered danmei yet) , but unfortunately my power just went out and this post is already hella long, so take this as part 1 🤣

[venusiangguk]

gold rush pt. 3 | jjk (m)

>>pairing: jungkook x reader

>>genre: pwp, v little plot, smut, kinda fluffy, college au (kinda), established relationship

>>word count: 9.9k um?

>>warnings: pegging!!!, butt stuff!!!, sexy anal!!!, sub jk, soft dom oc, crying why do i always make everyone cry, fingering (m), strap on, dildos, vibrators, sex toys, sex shop adventures, explicit sex, like so explicit this bitch is basically 10k, mutual masturbation, coming untouched, kisses, aftercare in the form of snacks, titty squeezing, dirty talk, excessive use of pet names, yoongi exists

>>notes: i wasn’t gonna write this bc ur girl does not know the first thing about pegging, but jk sucking the strap came to me in a dream and i had to do it. it was highly requested so i hope u like it! i wrote and poorly edited this whole thing today so im sorry for any mistakes !! 

>>summary: jk wants the strap, and jk gets what he wants !!

pt.1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

The sun is shining, and there’s just the perfect amount of breeze to cool Jeongguk as sweat runs down his temple. The soccer pitch just got cut, making the ball much easier to control, and therefore much easier to aim at Jimin’s ass. It’s cool-down time, so the team is in groups of three, idly kicking the ball between each other, for the last few minutes of practice. All in all, a great day to talk about getting pegged with his best friends.

Jeongguk glances around the field, making sure the other groups are far enough away from him and his friends before clearing his throat. “So… do you guys like… get pegged?”

When Taehyung passes the ball to Jimin, Jimin completely misses it due to the fact that he is looking at Jeongguk like he is the most pitiful human on the planet. Jeongguk adjusts his shin guard to avoid the scrutiny.

“Gguk… honey… are you dumb?”

Taehyung’s jogging back after retrieving the ball that ran astray. “No, Mini. He’s straight.” He kicks the ball to Jeongguk. “If by ‘pegged’ you mean fucked in the ass by a real dick, then yeah. We do.”

Jeongguk receives the ball with a ‘rainbow’ and juggles it from his thigh to his laces, balancing the ball for a second before kicking it to Jimin. He nods, contemplative. “Nice.”

“Okay ace.” He passes to Taehyung, before throwing Jeongguk a teasing look. “You thinking about taking it up the ass, Gukkie?”

“Perhaps I’m contemplating.” He sniffs nose in the air.

Taehyung laughs. “Got your button milked once and now you wanna take a phallic shaped object? Proud of you.” He places his hand over his heart, like the mere thought of Jeongguk getting railed makes his heart warm.

A whistle blows, and Jeongguk kicks the ball up to his arm, tucking it into the curve of his trim waist. “Why does everyone call it a button? And it hasn’t only been once.” He sounds exasperated and so so tired.

His friends jog to bump shoulders with him as they make their way to the locker rooms. “Hey, jokes aside, I think it’s cool you’re like comfortable enough, or whatever, with __ to explore the things you like.” Taehyung says.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “Okay Dad.”

“No seriously!” Jimin insists, holding the locker room door open for them. Fuck the rest of the team. “She seems good for you. Babys you like you need.” Jimin laughs.

Jeongguk’s shirt gets caught on his head as he squawks. “I don’t just like being babied, fuck you.”

“Okay so she also entertains your sadistic side. She’s the full package.”

Jeongguk looks down with a blush. He shrugs his shoulders lightly before bending over to get out of his gear. “She’s pretty cool I guess.”

Taehyung knees him while he’s still bent over making him stumble a bit. “Awe, Jeonggukkie is in love.”

“Shut up.” Jeongguk smacks him in the face with his smelly sock.

“When you gonna do it?” Jimin asks, buttoning his new pants. 

Apparently they aren’t showering today. Jeongguk will just have to stop at his dorm before heading to yours to help you study. That reminds him that you have a test on Friday, but are free this weekend. He just so happens to be free as well. The team they were supposed to play had to forfeit because their coach got caught sleeping with one of the cheerleaders. Sucks, but good for Jeongguk and his little asshole.

“Maybe this weekend.” With their backpacks on, they start the trek back to the dorms. It’s nearing night now, the sun just starting to set in the sky. Jeongguk pulls out his phone to tell you he’s stopping by his place before heading to you. You reply quickly.

baby🥺💘😏🧠🙄👊🏻:

okie

wanna have sex instead of helping me study 

me:

yeah but im not gonna 

just think about how good the sex will be when u get an a 

baby🥺💘😏🧠🙄👊🏻:

🙄

When Jeongguk pockets his phone, Taehyung speaks up.

“You think she’ll be down?”

Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate. “Yeah, probably.”

Ever since the first time you made him cum untouched, butt stuff has been a moderately regular occurrence for you both as a long-term, healthy, pro-ass eating couple. Honestly it was mostly him getting his butt played with, but he supposed it made sense. Like Jimin explained to his once naïve self, it was just biological- or something. Whatever. He wonders if three fingers will be enough to fit a fake dick in his ass. He asks his friends.

“Eh…” Jimin starts, looking up like he’s thinking. “Maybe, but you might wanna try to get to four, maybe five if you're using hers, since she’s tiny.”

Jeongguk’s mouth falls open and he pales. Taehyung notices and laughs.

“Don’t get scared. It’s just better to over-prep than under-prep. And like obviously you work up to it, she’s not just gonna shove her fist or her cock up your ass.”

Her cock. A little tingle settles in Jeongguk’s lower belly at the statement. He’s been thinking about this for a while, looking at porn in his free time. Seeing the way the guys moan on their girls’ strap always gets him hard. Seeing how hard their cocks get when the toy hits them just right. He throbs when he sees the guys cum just from the strap, no hands. Maybe he should fuck you when he gets to your dorm instead of helping you study. His cock is feeling a little plump.

“Alright well… Bye, thanks for being gay and answering my anal questions!”

As he’s pressing the button to his elevator, they lived on opposite sides of the athlete dorm and there were different elevators for each of the wings, Jimin chirps, “Don’t forget to empty your asshole really well, and don’t eat the day of! Also buy extra lube and put a spare blanket down!”

Jeongguk winces. Valuable information indeed, information he mentally pockets, but did he need to yell it in the dorm common room?

“Noted!” He yells back at the elevator dings and opens up. Jeongguk pretends like he doesn’t meet the curious, kind of confused gaze of one of his teammates. He must have walked in while Jimin was yelling and only caught the end of the conversation while waiting for the same elevator. Jeongguk gets in and immediately closes the doors. He can catch the next lift.

~~~

Jeongguk’s got his head in your lap and you’re running your fingers through his long, silky hair. He showered today, so waves of his aromatherapy lavender shampoo are wafting up to you. Sweet boy. He seems sidetracked, occasionally sighing and subtly twisting, but is still more or less purring on your thigh, feet tucked up onto the cushion of the couch. Netflix is on the small tv that was left by the last person who lived there, you’re mac book connected via HDMI. You’re not really paying attention. Mind kind of tired from all the studying you had done this week. Jeongguk fidgets a tiny bit again, wiggling like he’s trying to get comfortable. He huffs a sigh.

“Hey,” You say softly, getting his attention.

His body curves at the waist, causing his t-shirt to bunch up and show off the dip of his hip bone. He looks up at you with wide eyes. He seems surprisingly awake. Must have some busy little bees buzzing around his mind. He makes a little questioning noise.

“You okay? You’re kinda fussy.” You murmur.

He groans. “I-  am just thinking.”

“About?” You drag the word out in a singsong-y manner.

The way Jeongguk’s face flushes is so pretty, you have to stop yourself from cooing. 

He moves himself from your lap and sits facing you. He looks like he's thinking about what to say, or how to say what he’s thinking so hard about. 

Eloquently he states, “I’m horny.”

You glance at his cock. Not quite hard, but a little happy and excited. You chuckle, leaning towards him, giving him a playfully sexy look. “Okay, let’s fuck baby.”

Jeongguk blushes even more, cheeks tinted red, while he leans away from you.

You pout. “What?”

Again he pauses, a small pout on his lips. He seems to be in a soft, needy, difficult mood. You’re probably going to have to pry what he wants to say out of his mouth.

With another uncalled for exasperated huff, Jeongguk rolls his eyes and moves closer to you before catching you by surprise and swinging a leg over your lap. He’s facing you while he straddles your thighs. His arms are looped around your neck, he’s playing with a little bit of your hair, twirling the long length around his fingers. You smile up at him, gently. Your palms squeeze at his narrow hips encouragingly.

“I want to try something new…” He says. He sounds nervous and looks at you the same.

“Mhmm.” You say, fighting a smile. 

“Really bad. Like I want it really bad.” His hips roll, probably unconsciously from the way he closes his eyes to ground himself. 

You peek at his lap, and his cock is bulging, the fabric of his sweatpants doing nothing to help hide it. You bring your hand to it, and massage him through his pants.

He whines and pushes against your palm before a hand comes down and grabs your wrist, stopping the movement. “Quit it, I’m trying to talk.” He’s so petulant and whiny.

You move your hand away and place it back on his hip, giggling a little. “Well spit it out, then.”

He scowls. You reach up and smooth the wrinkle in his brow before trailing it down and cupping his cheek. He softens immediately, melts like butter in your hands. His eyes close and he lets out a soft sigh, body relaxing a little.

He’s whispering, kinda giggling out of embarrassment, when he says, “I want you to fuck me.” He pauses, peeking at you through his lashes. “Like for real.”

Almost instantly a little spark ignites in your belly, and you feel your pussy get that telltale heartbeat. You didn’t want to push Jeongguk into anything, but you’ve been thinking about taking the ‘next step’ with your… ass-plorations for some time. But you figured he would get to the same point on his own, and would come to you when he was ready. Turns out you know him as well as you thought you did.

“Yeah?” You rub your free hand up his side. 

He nods quickly, eagerly. You pinch his cheek lightly, and he retaliates by trying to bite at it. To avoid the attack it finds his way back to his waist.

“When did you want to? Tonight?”

He wiggles impossibly closer to you. Kisses you quick before nodding again. “Yeah. I um. I already like prepped… mostly. I prepped what I could by myself.” He pauses with a cute thinking face. “You will probably have to help me a little. But yeah. I got ready for you just in case.” He nods.

You hum, glancing at the old clock on the wall, another gift from the prior tenant. 11:52 pm. 

“If we hurry, we can make it to a sex shop? They don’t usually close until 2 or 3 in the morning.” You suggest.

Jeongguk bites his lip, smiling excitedly. “Really? Can we?”

You roll your eyes playfully. “Yeah, duh.” You lean up and give him a speedy, but thorough kiss, smiling into it. “Been wanting to peg you for so long.” 

His face scrunches endearingly. “Don’t call it that.”

He hops off your lap, and goes to grab the keys, wasting no time. He stands by the door expectantly. His cock is, extremely obviously, sticking out. Someone didn’t wear his briefs today.

“Can you like… kill that?” You’re laughing as you tug on some sweats of your own, having only been lounging in your panties and one of his shirts. Your usual at home attire.

He looks down, and has a smug grin on his face when he looks at you again. “It’ll go down in the car. Hurry up!”

~~~

A dildo looks so much bigger when one is looking at it knowing that it will be inside of them within the next few hours. And there are so many options and colors. Some vibrate, some have fake pubic hair on them. Some have balls that are squishy and feel eerily… accurate.

Jeongguk isn’t having second thoughts, no. But he is having thoughts. Very overwhelming thoughts. 

You’re next to your boyfriend, glancing between him and the varying selection of fake cocks displayed in front of you both, trying to gauge his reaction. He looks a little pale, but tentatively excited. Curious at the very least.

“Which one do you want?” You ask.

“No idea.” He responds, eyes wide.

Like most store clerks, one shows up, almost like they have a built in ‘customer needs help and has no idea which dildo to get to peg her super hot boyfriend’ radar. 

“You guys need help?” He is a small man, with a monotone voice. He looks like he would rather be anywhere else at 12:30am on a Saturday night. 

“NO!” Jeongguk says quickly and loudly. Very loudly.

Both you and the store clerk flinch, looking at him shocked.

Jeongguk shifts on his feet. “No.” He says in a more socially acceptable tone. “No- I’m sorry. But we’re uh-” He grabs your arm and pulls you closer. “We’re good, thanks.”

The clerk looks between you and Jeongguk and the dildos. “Um… Alright.” He starts to walk away before he turns back around. “Well if you change your mind, I’m Yoongi and I’ll be at the counter. If your toy is electric I’ll test it in the back before you leave… We uh- provide batteries with your purchase if needed…” With one last glance, a very judgmental one in Jeongguk’s opinion, Yoongi takes his place at said counter. His eyes flicker to you guys every once in a while.

“Baby,” You grab Jeongguk’s face between your palms and make him look at you. You squeeze and his lips poke out making him look like a guppy. He blinks. “I know you’re nervous, but it’s going to be okay.”

He rolls his eyes, guppy face and all. “Well obviously. I just- We don’t need help.” He wiggles out of your grip, much like a… guppy.

You grin, trying not to laugh, and just be the supportive girlfriend you are. “Okay, did you decide which one you want?”

A side glance. “Not yet…”

You walk up and go to grab a pink sparkly one.

“Uh, not that one.”

You quirk an eyebrow and move your hand to a larger one.

“No.”

You play a little game of dildo hot or cold until you have a better idea of what Jeongguk wants. His preference seems to be skin tone, close to his own, with a more realistic feel. Normal balls though, not squishy. Also no faux hair. You thank him for that. If you actually had a penis it would surely be waxed. Bless Jeongguk for doing the same. As for size, he leaned more towards a very normal, moderate size. Maybe 5 or 6 inches at most, not too thick. Smaller than himself. One last option.

“Do you want it to vibrate?” You ask, holding one in your hand testing the numerous different settings.

He shakes his head, answering quick. “No.”

He pauses.

“Wait.” He thinks. “Maybe. Should we? You could use it too?” 

Sweet, kind, considerate angel. Always thinking about you and your pleasure. Couples who share the strap last the longest.

You shrug, pointing out, “I could use one that doesn’t vibrate too.”

He looks offended and sounds snotty. “Uh, you don’t need to.”

“Whatever. Why don’t we get both?”

You had a point. He pretends to ponder it, before nodding, already persuaded. “Okay.” 

“We need the harness now.”

You begin the harness hunt, walking through the store, coming across many a things, but for some reason you both keep missing them. They’re nowhere to be found. 

“Maybe they’re sold out?” He tries.

“Doubt it. Let’s go ask.” You grab him by his pinky and try to drag him to the counter. He resists. 

“Let’s not.”

“Koo.” You say giving him a look.

He whines, throwing his head back. Borderline throwing a fit. You hold your ground, smiling.

He’s easy to give in. Being a brat just on principle. “Fine but you’re talking.”

You stand on your tiptoes and kiss his cheek. “Of course, baby.” With his pinky in hand, you make your way to the counter.

The store clerk, Yoongi, if you remember correctly, is sitting behind the counter hunched over smiling at his phone. He doesn’t seem to notice you’re there.

You clear your throat gently, “Excuse me?”

Yoongi jumps, almost throwing his phone. ��Fuck!” He exclaims. His fists come up ready to fight before he sees it’s you and Jeongguk. He then places his hand over his heart. “Shit, you scared me.” He chuckles, recovering quickly. “How can I help you?”

You stare at him for a moment longer before speaking up. “Um yeah, I was just wondering where your harnesses are?”

He leans on the counter, head in his hand looking kinda bored. “Hanresses? What kind? Hanging harness? Body harness?”

You glance at Jeongguk and he looks like he’s going to die.

“The um- strap on harnesses?” Your voice goes to a whisper when you say it, despite it just being you guys in the store.

Yoongi sits up, and looks at you, and then looks at Jeongguk. A look of understanding comes over his face along with an amused smile. He nods to himself, while getting up to help you. “Nice. Follow me.”

Jeongguk gapes at the ‘nice’ and looks at you in disbelief. You pat his butt telling him to get going. 

With some help from Yoongi you pick out a harness that looks supportive and comfortable, the ring that holds the dildo, compatible with both the ones that you plan on getting. It’s a simple adjustable black one. Yoongi recommended wearing something under it if the straps dig into you and irritate. He seems bored, but he’s actually very good at his job, and very knowledgeable.  

Finally you’re at the counter. You place all the items in Yoongi’s reach and he’s just about to tell you the total when Jeongguk perks up.

“Wait!” He says before scurrying off.

It’s quiet for a split second. Before the clerk speaks up.

“He’s cute.”

You smile, “Thanks, he’s mine.”

Yoongi laughs, small little fish teeth and gums on display. Must be a Pisces. You know Pisces teeth. “Does he have any cute friends?”

You nod. “Yeah, but they are dating.”

He shrugs. “Don’t care.”

“Uh… I can give you their Instagrams?”

He pulls out his phone, and follows them right there after a quick glance at their pages. Confidence is nice.

There’s a short lull in the conversation. And Jeongguk seems to be taking his sweet time getting something you guys must have forgotten. Or the poor things lost. It’s a big store. You speak up this time.

“Do you have like a manager I could leave a review for? You were really helpful, and seemed like you really knew what you were talking about.”

He shakes his head. “Nah, I own the place. You think I would be here on a Saturday night if it wasn’t obligatory? Thanks, though.”

“Oh.” You say. That was pretty impressive. The store was quite successful based on the reviews. You would make sure to let Jimin and Taehyung know Yoongi was a business man.

“Okay, I’m back.” Jeongguk announces. “Sorry I forgot where it was.”

He places 2 (two) large bottles of lube on the counter. You cough out a laugh.

“Baby, we have lube at home.”

“But do we have enough?”

“I think maybe one more would be more than enough.”

He ignores you, looking Yoongi in the eyes for the first time tonight. “Add both please.”

Yoongi nods, looking a little scared of Jeongguk’s seriousness, and does as he’s ordered.

After Jeongguk pays, and you both are making your way to the exit, Yoongi calls out, “Good luck, tell your friends to follow me back!”

“Uh- Okay?” Jeongguk yells back. When you’re in the parking lot, he asks, “What the heck was that about?”

You shake your head, laughing to yourself. “Don’t worry about it.”

~~~

As soon as you get back to your dorm, the atmosphere is thick, full of tension and nervous anticipation. Jeongguk’s fidgety, eager to get started. You’re not far off, but contain yourself a little more. Need to keep control of the situation in case Jeongguk gets deep into his mood.

You guys are in the bathroom now, each one washing a toy before you use it. You make sure to unwrap the harness and the lube as well, both at Jeongguk’s insistent request, ensuring you don’t have to stop and deal with it later. 

“Let’s just get undressed in here, it’s where my hamper is.” You say already tugging your shirt over your head, tits bouncing freely. Jeongguk went without briefs today, and you went without a bra.

Jeongguk quietly follows suit, and you don’t miss the way his hands are trembling a little in anticipation. When you’re both naked he kisses you quickly, and jiggles your boobs a little just because they are there and because he can, before saying, “Okay, lets go.” He’s out the bathroom before you can even respond. You laugh to yourself and gather the stuff he forgot in his excitement.

When you walk out with your hands full, you see Jeongguk spreading out a blanket over your comforter.

“Whatcha doin?” You ask curiously, placing the items on the nightstand.

“Gets messy. Wanna save your bedding.” He states.

You squawk, grabbing the blanket he set up on your bed. “Not my baby blanket you monster.”

He laughs, abs tensing. You notice he’s already hanging a little heavy between his thighs. “Sorry. Was the first one I saw.” He walks over to the couch and replaces the blanket that’s hanging over the back with your baby blanket and resets up. “Better?” he asks, extended his arm towards your bed to show off his work.

You nod, and take the few steps needed to close the space between you both. Your hand runs down his belly, and you feel his muscles jump, and you see little goosebumps sprout all over. His hands come up to cup your tits. You kiss softly where his heart is. You look up at him.

“I love you.” You smile.

He blushes. “Love you.” He whispers, before he leans down and slots your lips together.

It’s eager from the start. Your bodies press together, as your hands roam. When he takes a breath and surges back in, your teeth click together is his haste, before his tongue slips into your mouth. He groans into you, his hand going down to cup your ass, squeezing and pulling you impossibly closer. 

You feel his cock against your belly, almost fully hard already. You reach down to wrap a hand around him, wanting to help him get there before you get started. He hisses, thrusting forward instinctively before pulling away. He looks like he hates that he does.

“No- I,” He’s already short of breath, chest rising and falling a little bit faster than normal. “I wanna watch you cum. With the toy.” He reaches around you, grabbing the vibrating dildo. “Please?” He asks. His eyes are fervent.

You take the toy in your hand, and kiss him again softly. “Yeah, baby. Whatever you. It’s all about you tonight.”

He shakes his head. “Always about you too.” 

Your heart beats, happy in your chest. You thought about it earlier in the night, but Jeongguk really was the best lover. He always, always made sure you were taken care of, before, during, and after sex. He was so vocal and communicative, genuinely wanting you to know it was always about both of you, even if one was receiving more attention. He was caring like that in and out of the bedroom. You were so lucky to be his.

“You’re too good to me,” You laugh, climbing onto the bed. You settle back against your pillows, propping some behind you so you can see him, and watch him while you get off. He takes his place in front of you, looking at you expectantly.

He’s impatient, placing his hands on your knees, spreading you open so he can see your cunt. You let him get you into position before saying, “Keep your hands to yourself now, okay?”

He nods, eyes never leaving your pussy. He licks his lips. “Okay.” It’s said in a distracted kind of far away tone.

You hum as you bring the toy to your mouth, getting it wet. You wouldn’t need any lube, you would be dripping in no time. You don’t waste any time putting your free hand down between your legs and spreading your pussy lips, so your clit and the pretty pink center of your cunt are displayed for Jeongguk. You glance at him through your lashes, when you hear a small gasp fall from his lips. He’s already got a hand around himself. Just the tips of his fingers stroking his length, at a leisurely pace. 

“She’s so pretty… You’re so pretty.” His eye flick to your face before zeroing in on your center again.

“Tell me how to do it baby. Tell me what you want to see.” You say, voice salacious and soft. You circle your finger slowly around your nub, dipping inside just a bit to spread your slick around.

When he swallows, it’s audible, his Adam's apple jumping. “I want you to turn it on low, and put it on your clit. I want you to feel good.”

You smile, and drag the tip of it down your body to just above your clit, turning it on the lowest setting before making contact with your sensitive nub. Your legs jolt, almost closing when you feel the vibrations. Even the lowest setting was strong. Your head falls back, and your legs spread more for him once you get used to the strength of the toy. “Fuck…” You breathe.

“Does it feel good?” He asks, greedy for your pleasure.

You nod, eyes still closed, focusing. You move the vibrator in small circles over your clit. You can hear Jeongguk’s breaths speed up.

“Turn it up.” His voice gives away that he’s speeded up his hand on his cock too.

You do as he says, looking at him as you do. He’s sin personified. He’s on his knees, sitting back on his feet, so his thighs are flexed and bulging. His abs tense when his palm twists under the crown of his cock. His eyes almost look black, pupils blown so wide, lust taking over his face. He’s got his plump bottom lip drawn between his teeth. He looks up from your pussy and catches you staring. He smiles shyly.

You keep your eyes on him as you bring the toy back down to your core. A short high pitched moan falls from your lips, as your brows knit together, before your eyes roll back. He groans, your expression enough to make his cock start to leak.

“Feels so good, Jeongguk.” You moan. The vibrator is right where it feels best, pulsing against your clit, causing pleasure to bleed into your veins. 

“Yeah, baby?” He asks, he’s breathless, sounds like he’s in love. With you, your cunt. “Tell me.”

“‘S just right Koo, could make me cum just like this…” 

He curses, and you open your eyes just in time to see him grip the base of his cock, keeping himself in check. “Not yet, baby. Little longer, please.” Still so polite and good for you, even when he’s the one telling you what to do.

He has you keep the vibe there, for a while longer, right in the spot that’s gonna make you lose it. He watches as a tiny clear drop leaks from you pink little pussy. It looks like it’s heavy and about to drip down to the blanket under you. He doesn’t notice your legs shaking until you’re gasping, “Koo, I’m almost- I’m gonna-”

“No!” He says quickly, his hand reaches out to pull the vibrator from your cunt just before you get your high. Your pussy aches and throbs, wanting to cum so bad. 

Your chest is heaving when you ask, “Are… are you edging me?”

He shakes his head, even though your eyes are closed, trying to catch your breath. “No, no! I just. I got distracted.” He looks at that small drop of slick again. Fuck, he wants to lick it up and drink you down. “You’re leaking.” He states.

You laugh, breathing getting back to normal. “Yeah?” You reach your hand down to collect the distracting little droplet and bring it in front of you. You press the sticky finger to your thumb and then pull them apart to see the clear strings stay connected even as you pull. You hum, before offering your hand to Jeongguk. He sucks in a breath.

“Want some?” 

He’s quick as he crawls between you legs, cock fully hard now. He watches you as he sucks your fingers into his mouth, tongue swirling around getting every last bit, before he sucks off with a pop!

He crawls farther up your body to kiss you deep, wanting you to get a taste of yourself too. He pulls back just a bit, and whispers against your lips, “I want you to fuck yourself with it, okay? Just for a little bit, then you can cum?” He’s phrasing it as a question, knowing he really doesn't have the final say, not tonight. But his voice is shaking from how turned on he is, how could you ever say no?

“Sit back.” Is all you respond. He does as he’s told.

You buzz the toy over your clit again, just because you can. Wanting to see how long Jeongguk can be good before begging. Turns out it’s not long at all. 

“Put it in…” He moans. You look at him and his mouth is parted, and his eyes heavy as he watches you. His hand is moving fast over his cock, sticking straight up to his tummy. “Please.”

You drag the toy down to your slit, and tease it there before just barely pushing it in just a fraction of the length. Jeongguk whines, high and desperate. Apparently you’re moving to slow for him.

“More,” He begs. 

You sigh, “You’re so needy tonight, baby.” He nods, agreeable.

When the toy sinks inside of you all the way to the hilt, you and Jeongguk both moan a quiet, “Fuck.” simultaneously. You’re coherent enough to laugh a little at the jinx, but he seems to barely notice, too focused on watching the toy sink into you, and then come back out to vibrate your clit again. You keep up this teasing pattern, again waiting to be told what to do by him, waiting to see how long he makes it this time.

“Harder, do it harder,” He’s panting. Moaning every word that leaves his lips.

You do as he says, and finally push the toy in at a pace that gets you climbing to being close again. You won’t be able to come like this though, and he knows that. Knows that you can only cum from penetration with him. He leans over and grabs the other toy from the end table, spitting on it and spreading it around until it's covered well.

“Use them both, want you to cum for me.”

With two toys in your hands, one in your cunt, filling you up, and one on your clit, making your legs shake, you do your best to make yourself cum. But it’s not enough. A soft whine falls from your lips, you’re so close, but you need more. More than you can give yourself.

“Faster baby, faster. You’re so close.” He whispers. He got both hands working now too, one stroking and one down tugging on his balls. 

You whimper, “I can’t my arm hurts. It’s tired.”

Immediately he stops pleasing himself and gets right to pleasing you. Your pleasure taking priority. “Shh, don’t worry, I’ll help you baby.”

Jeongguk sits between your legs, and takes over the toy fucking into you, and turns up the one on your clit. With him pushing the toy in at a pace that you couldn’t do yourself, and the other toy vibing your clit incessantly, it takes barely any time at all for you to cum. You were so close already, just needed him to push you over. 

Your legs are shaking and your toes are curling, when you cry out, “Baby, I’m gonna cum.”

“Do it, baby. Wanna watch.” He’s quiet, paying close attention to your body and the reactions he’s helping pull from it. He’s part of the reason why your face looks so pornographic as you finish. He’s part of the reason why your back is arching off of the bed. He’s part of the reason why your toes are curling, and why your legs are shaking, and why your pussy is contracting over the toy he’s still thrusting inside of you, working you through every last second of your orgasm. He reads your body cues, and slows down and pulls it out when you start to come down. You look blissed out, and you bring a hand to your hair and fluff it a little before laughing.

“That was good.” You sigh smiling, and when you look at him an image forms in your head, and you have every intention of making him carry it out.

Right before your eyes, Jeongguk wraps his lips around the toy that is going to be inside of him in just a short while, sucking off your slick. He laps his tongue around it trying to get it all. He’s obscene. 

“Gimme,” You say sitting up with an extended hand. 

He pouts at being interrupted, but does as he’s told. He takes your spot on the bed, and you head to the bathroom, stopping by your dresser on the way.

When you get to the bathroom, you close the door and get to cleaning the toys once again. After, you get to the stuff you grabbed from the wardrobe. A lacy pair of black panties, and sheer black thigh highs with matching lace adorning the tops. You slip into them, and then move on to the strap on. You hold it in front of you and try to make sense of which part goes where, and which holes your legs go into. It takes a second, but you get into it, adjusting it so it's nice and snug. Your outfit probably won’t help much with protecting your thighs, but at least the little part above your pussy will be safe. You look at yourself in the mirror. Not too weird or scary yet. You glance at the dildo on the counter.

It’s not too big so hopefully it’s not too… jarring when you see yourself with it. You get to work, slipping the suction base of the non-vibrating toy into the ring that’s meant to hold it in place. You look at it sticking out from your crotch and take a deep breath before turning to the mirror.

You gasp, before cackling quietly. You knew it was going to be weird. Like you knew. But actually seeing yourself with the whole get up is funny. Right now at least. You know it’s going to be sexy, once you get used to it and into the moment and inside of Jeongguk. You wonder how he’s going to react. Only one way to find out.

While you're walking to your bedroom from the bathroom, the dildo bobs, and you're giggling distractedly until you lift your eyes to let your boyfriend know you're ready. Again you’re met with a scene so indecent it belongs in a porno.

Jeongguk’s eyes are closed and soft moans are falling from his lips as he strokes his cock. He’s got three fingers in his ass, opening himself up for you, for your cock. Such a good good boy. He was so patient and productive while you got ready for him.

“You’re so good baby,” You murmur softly.

Jeongguk blinks his eyes open slowly, and rolls his head to the side to look at you. He doesn’t even falter in his movements at all, hand still moving, fingers still thrusting. He smiles a little when he sees you, but his eyes are hazy and he sounds lust drunk when he simply says, “You look sexy.”

You blush and a fond smile graces your lips, any embarrassment or self consciousness you were feeling prior to seeing him spread out for you on your bed, quickly vanishing.

You settle on the bed between his legs and watch for a moment as his hole takes his long fingers in. “Want me to help?” You ask quietly.

“Mhmm,” He nods, eyes closed still, tongue peeking out from between his lips. He doesn’t take his fingers out, though.

You grab the lube next to him, and flip it open. “You gonna get out so I can get in?” 

He shakes his head. “Nuh uh. Put one in with mine.”

Something about that makes your body tingle. Inside of him with him. Opening him up. You can’t explain it, because you don’t really even get it yourself, but it makes you buzz and feel almost high.

You slick up your middle finger, and drizzle some more on his for good measure. He jumps slightly, and then giggles softly.

“Cold.” He says.

“Sorry,” You say distractedly. Your finger is lined up with his now.

“I’ve never done 4 before so you… have to go slow…” He pauses as he speaks, letting himself moan freely when his fingers graze over that secret spot that he’s grown to love so much.

“Tell me to stop if you need to.”

He doesn’t reply, just stops his fingers so you can wiggle yours in next to his. At the first push against his hole, there’s resistance. Very much expected. He’s quiet, teeth gritted, but he never says stop, knowing his body wants it, and knowing it will accommodate what he wants. After the second knuckle, your finger sinks in, almost gets sucked in, by his hole.

He lets out a shaky breath.

“You okay, baby?” You check in.

“Yeah just… full.” He moans when you wiggle your finger experimentally. “”S good. Move it some more.”

You do, and his start to move with yours. You can feel his fingers curl inside of himself to reach his prostate, and it’s pleasant in an out of body way, knowing when his face is going to contort in pleasure, and when he’s going to cry out, when you never really knew before. You’ve milked him before, of course, but feeling him do it to himself from the inside? It’s kind of thrilling.

“Pull, stretch me out.” He moans, voice impatient and needy.

He gets kinda slutty when something’s up his ass.

He swears when you do, his finger rubbing insistent circles on his prostate to distract himself from the minor sting of the stretch. His moans, start to raise in pitch and his hand that’s on his cock, still jerking it, starts to speed up. You can tell he’s close. He clenches against your finger that’s still stretching him open.

“Fuck,” He says, on a breathless giggle, “Take them out. Or I’m gonna cum.” He’s still stroking his cock, like he doesn’t wanna stop.

“You c-” 

“No. Out.” He demands, hand finally pulling away from his cock, and his fingers inside stop. You gently ease out of him.

When Jeongguk’s fingers slip out, you gasp. His little pink hole is clenching on nothing, still open just the tiniest bit, thoroughly stretched.

“You know how you always say my pussy is pretty?” You ask, fingers tracing around the puffy stretched rim.

He makes an affirmative noise, watching you with hooded, lazy eyes as you touch him. He even spreads farther so you can touch and see better. You marvel at the difference between the embarrassed boy you made cum untouched a couple months ago, and the one in front of you now, so comfortable and relaxed. It makes you happy.

“Well, your butthole is pretty.”

He snorts, and kicks you lightly. He smiles at you, soft and sluggish. “Just fuck me.” 

He sounds so wistful and just ready.

But you’re not.

You grip the base of your cock, and stand up. You walk to the head of the bed, next to his confused face. You stay there waiting for him to get it. He doesn’t.

“You want me inside of you right baby?” You ask, voice gentle.

He nods, eyes no longer hazy, but wide and confused. He looks between you and your cock.

“I think that means you have to get me ready. Get me nice and wet, right?”

You can physically see when Jeongguk gets it. When it clicks for him. His eyes darken, and he licks his lips. “Yeah… You’re right. I should… help you.” He whispers, sitting up. You back up enough for him to have a place on the floor.

Jeongguk on his knees for you isn’t a new sight. He’s eaten your pussy like this before, you either grinding onto his face, or him holding you still and making quick work of your clit. But Jeongguk on his knees for you to suck your cock? New, and lewd. 

He looks nervous, kind of hesitant. A hand is raised midway, like he isn't sure if he should grab it. 

“Lick it, baby.” You encourage.

He glances at you, doe eyes seeking approval as he leans forward and gives a kitten lick to the tip. You nod, letting him know he’s doing well. His hand comes up and replaces yours at the base and he opens his mouth enough to wrap his lips around the head, and he swirls his tongue.

He pops off, and strokes up to where his mouth was and spreads the little bit of spit. The silicone is still dry though, so he spits on it more, straight from his mouth. You suck in a breath.

“Fuck, you’re so hot baby.” You whisper a breathy moan as his hands move up and down your cock. He adds his mouth again.

He hums a little, before backing up and looking at you again. “Does that feel good?” He asks.

You laugh lightly, in pure awe of him. He’s so sexy, and so sweet, and so incredibly lust inducing. Your pussy aches behind your cock. “Feels so good, baby. You’re doing so good.”

He hums, still stroking you off. “I really want it inside me…” He says, hinting that he’s ready.

You have mercy on him, having fulfilled your newfound personal fantasy enough for the night. Maybe you could revisit it another time. But now it was time to fulfill a mutual fantasy.

“On the bed, hands and knees.” You tell him.

Excitedly he hops back onto the bed, and gets into position, his hole on display for you. His back is arched and you can see the plush swell where his lower back meets the top of his cheeks. You settle behind him, and his shoulder to waist to hip ratio, is sinful. He’s always had the daintiest waist, strong, but still so small. But at this angle, it’s cinched and the way his legs are spread makes his hips look wider, accentuating the dip at his middle. You rub your hands over the narrow curve, all the way to his cheeks, grabbing handfuls of the muscle. There’s a slight give when you squeeze your hands.

Jeongguk’s head drops, and he lets out a shuddering sigh, he’s got the chills again, and he’s got a constant thrum coursing through his body. “Please…” He moans, so quietly, so desperately.

You kiss the small of his back before grabbing the lube left abandoned on the bed. You lather 2 of your fingers, and push them into Jeongguk’s hole making sure he’s nice and slick. There’s no resistance at all, hole loose and ready enough for them to slip right in. Then you lather your cock, probably with too much lube, honestly, but you wanted to be so sure that he didn’t feel any more pain than absolutely necessary. You knew the first initial push in would be the worst, but you were hopeful you both had stretched him out enough to at least minimize or diminish it altogether. 

You grab the base of your cock and line it up with his hole. It flutters, when you barely press against his rim.

“Ready?” You ask, giving a heads up.

“Yeah.” He says softly.

He’s tight. His hole sinks in with the tip of your cock before the rim gives and swallows around it. Jeongguk tenses and his hands grip the blanket under you. 

“Shit…” He groans. He sounds like he’s clenching his teeth.

You rub soothingly at his lower back, fingers dipping when you run them over the dimples at the bottom of his spine. “You’re doing so good baby.” You tell him.

“Doesn’t really hurt, I’m just stretching.” He says through his teeth. “I can take it though, keep going.”

You grab the lube and drizzle more directly onto his hole. He doesn’t mention the cold this time, too focused on taking your cock. You push against him, and feel yourself sink deeper into him. It’s like after the tip was in, his body knew what to do to take the rest. The slide wasn’t a swift, fast stroke, but it was a smooth and slow glide. When you bottom out Jeongguk’s arms give out from under him, his face going to the bed. 

“Holy fuck.” He keens, resting his head on his arms. Your hands are constantly on him, soothing him in any way that you can.

“Tell me when.” You whisper patiently. He nods. With his head turned to the side and pillowed on his arms, you can see his eyes are squeezed shut. The inhales and exhales you can see in the expanding of his ribcage, tell you that he’s taking deep breaths working through the stretch, getting himself used to it.

“Okay… Ready.” He murmurs.

You pull out just a bit before pushing back in. Jeongguk moans softly. Spreads his legs even wider, arches his back even deeper. He’s pushing his ass out for you, his body begging you to make it feel good.

You keep a slow pace, kind of nervous to speed up. 

“You can go faster, feels nice.” He says. He’s been puffing out little gasps of air every time you bottom out with your slow pace.

With his consent, you grab at his hips and pull out to just the tip, before swiftly pushing back in, fast and hard. His cheeks bounce on the impact. You grab one and jiggle it a little, thrusting into him again, drinking down the whines that slip out.

“You’ve got such a bubble butt, I never noticed before. But it like… bounces.” You say, wonder in your tone. 

“Thanks, can you like tell me about it later?” He asks, voice strained.

Point taken. 

Your thrust game is kind of shitty, in reality. It’s hard to find a rhythm, your hips not used to moving this way. But Jeongguk is moaning freely underneath you, just happy to have something inside of him after thinking about it all week. So you keep going, and eventually, the pattern comes to you, still kind of messy, but now you’ve got him cursing beneath you. You’ve got one hand on his ass, the other braced on his arched spine.

A particularly good thrust has Jeongguk burying his face into the bed, teeth biting at the bedding. “Yeah fuck-” He groans with his mouth full of blanket. With his hands now free, he brings them behind him and settles them on his cheeks and spreads.

You watch clearly as your cock sinks into Jeongguk’s ass. You’re out of breath, but you make sure to tell him how good he looks, how pretty his hole looks swallowing your cock, like it was made to take it.

“Wanna ride you.” He says. His voice is pitifully wrecked and he sounds so thoroughly fucked, you feel a little proud. Still, you’re grateful for a break. You don’t know how he fucks you like he does. ‘Topping’ is tiring. You pull out of him, and realize that when you were in awe of his hole at taking your fingers, it was premature. Jeongguk’s hole after he takes your cock is vulgar. It’s properly gaped now. Not huge, but around a fingers width.

He rolls over, and settles on his back like he just needs a moment. His chest is heaving, similar to yours. You hop off the bed, and a needy keen comes from him. You glance back at him, and he looks like he’s going to get up and follow you, but you hush him gently.

“I’m just getting some water, baby. I’ll be right back.” 

He huffs flopping back onto his back. “Hurry please.” He whines.

You get back as soon as possible with a glass of water for you both to share. He sits up onto one elbow and makes a grabby hand for the cup after you’ve had your share. You swat his hand away and hold the cup to his lips. He hums, gulping the water down. He’s happy to be coddled and taken care of. When he finishes with a cute little gasp, you place the cup to the side, and brush your hand through his sweaty hair. 

He butts his head against your palm and laughs. His eyes shut, and crinkled at the corners. His water break seems to have perked him up. His cock hasn’t deflated one bit. Rock hard and red, throbbing against his tummy. It’s messy and wet too.

You’re about to ask if he touched himself while you were inside of him, but before you can, you’re getting manhandled until he’s on top of you. He’s got your hands pinned above your head, and he smiles at you playfully, before leaning down to kiss you, deep and slow. He sucks on your lip, and slowly grinds his cock onto your belly, soft whines spilling from his tongue. He brushes his nose against yours as he sighs into your mouth, finally allowing himself the pleasure of paying attention to his cock. 

He doesn’t allow himself relief for long, however. He’s sitting up and looking from side to side for the lube before finally spotting it. His movements are quick and hectic, like he’s too excited and overly eager.

You rub your hands over his strong thighs. “Hey, slow down. You don’t have to rush. We have all night.”

He sighs at your touch, and nods softly. He whispers. “Yeah… okay. I love you.”

The little affection makes you swoon, absolutely smitten. “I love you.” You squeeze at his legs, tenderly.

He hums. “Gonna ride you now.” He opens the lube and continues with eager actions, almost like you didn’t even slow him down just a moment ago. You smile fondly to yourself. Jeongguk’s too busy slicking up your cock again to notice the mushy look.

He’s got a hand reaching behind him and he’s gripping your cock to line it up with his hole. He wiggles to get into the right position before slowly starting to sink down. His eyebrows are pinched, and his mouth falls open. But his eyes roll back when he bottoms out. His hands are braced on your stomach.

“Oh, I love it like this.” He whimpers. His legs tense at your sides, almost like he’s trying to close his legs at the pleasure he feels from your cock being tucked inside of him, hitting all the right places. He starts to grind on your cock, soft pleasured little mewls just tumbling off his tongue.

He looks so good, whining, grinding on you with his weeping cock displayed. But you wanna see him lose it on your cock. See him fall apart at how good it feels, not watch him bask in it.

“Bounce on it.” You say, voice sounding almost as fucked out as his. You know your panties are soaked through at this point, pussy pulsing and neglected, tucked away behind the strap.

Jeongguk nods. “Yeah, wanna.” 

He’s lifting himself off your cock to the tip before sliding down on it again, hard and fast. It punches a sharp gasp from his lungs. He finds a pace he likes and keeps it up, his thighs tensing, and his abs flexing as he tests his stamina, chasing that euphoric feeling he wants so so badly. He’s so strong and fit, bouncing up and down on your cock as loud unabashed moans fill the room. 

The force of him riding you makes your tits jiggle, bouncing around until they catch his attention. He groans before his hands find them, squeezing hard, using them as leverage as he pulls and drags his hips over yours. Your cock must be rubbing over his prostate because he’s losing his mind. All kinds of noises leave his mouth, and the expressions he makes are filthy.

“Fuck baby. You make me feel so good. The best- I-” He eyes squeeze shut and his mouth opens in a silent moan, overwhelmed, before a guttural groan sounds from deep within his chest. “God. Wanna cum on your cock, baby. Fuck me-”

You laugh, wonderstruck, and kind of deliriously high on the satisfaction and fulfillment you get from seeing Jeongguk feel so just…. Good. “Yeah baby? You’re gonna cum for me? All over my cock?”

He whimpers and nods as he gets back to bouncing, a desperation to his movements that wasn’t there before. His cock is slapping against both of your stomachs with nasty wet noises due to his precum getting everywhere. You feel some fly and hit your neck, his cock just dripping, weeping and begging to cum. 

It won’t be long though, before he cums. You feel the way his thighs tense, and he gets that confused look on his face, and he’s got that puzzled pitch to his moans. It’s the way he always gets when he cums untouched, always in awe that he can do it himself, without a hand around his cock. His whole body is flushed and hot to the touch, sweat making him glow in the soft light of your bedroom lamp.

He throws his head back, neck extended, and veins bulging, before looking down at his bouncing cock. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” He’s so whiny and noisy when he moans.

“Yeah?” You ask again, “Do it baby, show me how. You can do it, cum for me.” 

He’s nodding frantically, “Yeah- I’m gonna... Fuck, yes- Yeah, I’m-” He bounces a few more times, silent aside from the obscene squelching noises of your skin meeting, before his body tenses one last time before that string in him snaps. “Cumming-” He chokes it out. His moans don’t stop the whole time his cock shoots out his load, landing on your tummy. The moans even turn into cries, actual tears filling his eyes and falling down his cheeks. His body jerks and twitches with his orgasm. But still, he’s grinding on you, your cock still rubbing that spot inside of him, it’s like he never wants the feeling to end, even if it’s devastating, bordering on too much to handle.

You smooth your hands all over his sweaty body, before firmly placing them on his hips, stopping him. “Hey. You’re good, you did so good baby, you don’t have to keep going.”

Jeongguk’s cries are quiet, and he takes a few deep stuttering breaths to try and calm himself down, nodding with your soothing words. He rubs the back of his hand at his eyes, trying to dry them. It doesn’t help much, he’s calmed himself some but a few silent tears still make their way out, along with some soft hiccupping breaths.

“Lay down, and wait for me, hmm?” You whisper gently. He nods and lifts himself slowly, wincing at the sore ache in his hole. It’s more prevalent now that the pleasure has subsided. He all but collapses onto your pillow. 

“I’m gonna get some more water, and a towel okay?”

He grunts in response.

Before you go, you strip out of the gear, just tossing it on the ground, eager to get back to Jeongguk after getting the things you need.

When you get back, he is in the same exact position, and you laugh lightly. 

“Baby?” You ask, making sure he didn’t fall asleep.

Another grunt.

Good, he would hate you in the morning if you left him to sleep being so messy.

“Sit up, I have water and snacks and cleaning supplies.”

His head pops up. “Snacks?” His hair is sticking up on one side.

You laugh, endeared. He’s not crying anymore either, a good sign that he will be okay in just a little while after some kisses and love.

“Yeah, I got some of those seaweed chips you like, and some water.”

He sits up, leaning back on the pillows knowing the drill for after butt stuff. You hand him the water and the chips. He eats first.

“You hungry?” You ask, fitting yourself between his legs with the warm washcloth. He opens easily, munching away. You both are far past after sex shyness.

He talks with his mouth full. “Yeah. Jimin said not to eat the day off.”

You hum curiously, but don’t question it. Jimin partakes in butt stuff much more than you both. 

You’ve got all the lube cleaned off his thighs and cheeks, now all that’s left is his hole. You do it as gently as you can, knowing he’s sore just from how red and swollen and puffy it is.  But he still winces.

“How bad is it?” He mumbles.

You hesitate. “Um… You’re gonna be a little sore.” You tell him simply.

He groans, before downing his water. When he’s done, he says, “Practice is going to suck.”

You nod in agreement. It was. You wrap the used cloth in the blanket you used to protect your sheets, once again just tossing the bundle to the floor.

“Worth it though,” He smiles, pleased.

You chuckle as you find your place by him. He’s set his refreshments aside and lets you curl against him. His body sags with exhaustion when he feels your warmth press into him. You plant kisses on every inch of skin you can reach. He purrs.

“Why’d you keep going?” You ask, between smooches.

“I don’t know… it just felt so good. I guess I didn’t want it to stop.” He’s quiet, and his words are said on a sigh.

You nod, your kisses making your way to his lips. You just kiss him, slow and easy, for a few minutes until he yawns into it. He giggles.

“I’m so tired man.”

“I bet man.” You tease.

He kisses you one more time before asking, “Will you tickle my back until I fall asleep?” It’s hopeful and so sugary sweet.

“Yeah roll over.”

It’s barely a few minutes before you're met with his soft snores. You kiss his shoulder blade, before following right behind him.

~~~~

you ask for pegging and you shall receive :] i hope you liked it and that it met ur pegging standards askdkhjd as always, comments and feedback and asks and notes are loved and appreciated. thank you for reading friends ily :* 

[darling-i-read-it]

May Queen

Pelle x reader

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: being indoctored into a cult, murder, suicide, basically the plot of midsommar

Author’s Note: This can be seen as a sequel to ‘Hug’ or it can be read on it’s own!

yeah i was a little excited that you guys wanted this one lol I don’t know if you can tell. I’ve seen this movie enough, it was about time I did something within the events of the film. I also referred to the script so some of the lines will be familiar! I hope you all enjoy!

Requested: by anon, omg your pelle fic wow; would you consider doing a sequel to it that either takes place during the events of the film or just before they arrive at Pelle's commune?

Requested: by anon, I would LOVEEE to see a sequel with pelle cause that was a pretty good fix and I think he deserves a bit more attention, I personally would like to see something happen during the events of the movie just because I think it would be interesting to see but that's just me

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif)

“You think that Pelle asked you to go just because I’m going?” Dani asked, messing with her fingers. You were standing beside your bed, packing your suitcase slowly. Dani had already packed; she didn’t like to be unprepared.

“I don’t know...maybe he thought you would enjoy yourself more.”

“You’re acting like I’m the one who’s been dating him for these couple of months,” she told you. She was sitting on the bed, looking up at you. You nodded a bit, putting another pile of clothes inside.

“I know. I guess I’m just nervous. Meeting his whole group, going to where he grew up. I mean. I really like him. What if I fuck it up?” She shook her head and reached over to grab your arm. You looked her in the eyes.

“He really likes you. I can’t remember the last time Christian looked at me the way that Pelle looks at you.” Her eyes were honest. It made you feel bad. You should have gotten her to break up with Christian when you got the chance. But it was too late now; you were all going to Sweden.

“I suppose you’re right. Per usual.” She smiled weakly.

“Finish packing.”

=======

Pelle almost wanted to tell you about the whole thing. When he was on the plane, it crossed his mind to let you in on the whole scheme of things. The May Queen, the festival, all of it.

But he bit his tongue. That was tradition.

You arrived in Sweden well and took the trek up to where the first stop was. It was beautiful. Truly, it was stunning.

Pelle held your hand the whole way until you arrived at the first spot. There were people around the grassy hills, scattered around. Pelle got out of the car.

“These are other people from America that my friends have brought!” he exclaimed. He gestured to the many people around. You looked around, gazing at the nice afternoon. He grabbed your arm and started to drag you along.

“Hey, don’t rip it off!” you joked and he eased up.

“Sorry, I’m quite excited!” You smiled sweetly at his happiness.

“Me too!” He approached some people and started to introduce them when a man behind you started to yell. You turned around quickly, surprised at the loud noise. Pelle turned around too and his smile only grew.

“If you’ll excuse me,” he said and then ran over to the approaching man. They embraced each other, hugging tightly.

“Everyone, this is my brother Ingemar. Ingemar this is Christian, Dani, Mark, Josh and my girlfriend, Y/N,” Pelle said. Ingemar followed where Pelle pointed, shaking hands with everyone. He paid special attention to you, his smile getting wider. You could tell that he and Pelle were related.

“Nice to meet you all. This is Simon and Connie from London,” he said, gesturing to the others behind him. “Simon and Connie this is Pelle and...all the names I just remembered two seconds ago,” Ingemar said laughing. Simon and Connie said hello. “Perfect timing by the way.”

Ingemar pulled out a bag of mushrooms from his pocket. Your eyes went wide.

“We just took these five minutes ago. Haven’t even started feeling the effects yet,” he explained.

“Oh shit!” Mark said, happily.

“Do you all want to take it now or should we get settled in?” Pelle asked.

“Fuck it, let’s take it now!” Mark said. You weren’t too sure about that. You trusted Pelle and everyone of course but in the new environment...it rubbed you the wrong way. Thankfully, Dani turned to speak to Christian about it.

“I think I want to get settled in first.” Christian was about to speak but you cut him off.

“Me too. You guys go and have fun, we’ll keep each other company,” you said. Pelle turned to you.

“Are you sure? I assure you it’s safe,” he said in a soft voice. You smiled kindly and put a gentle hand on his arm.

“I know! I just wanna get settled. Dani and I can handle ourselves, I promise.” He gave you a longer look, just to check that you were alright and then nodded. You turned back to Dani who grabbed your arm desperately.

“Thank you,” she whispered. You nodded.

“No thank you.”

=====

It wasn’t until the next day, Dani’s birthday, that you were able to get on further. You and Dani played some card games that you had brought with you while you waited for the effects to wear off for everyone else.

Christian came over to sleep beside Dani, still high. Pelle came over to you and braided your hair and then unbraided your hair, making very long sentences that didn’t make sense to whisper in your ear.

But when you arrived at the commune it was bright and sunny. Pelle rushed around, hugging people and introducing you and the group to everyone. You were able to get some blankets to sit on the grass, while everyone got their things together.

There was a group of girls dancing around in circles, wearing all white.

“You should go join,” Pelle suggested, gesturing to you and Dani. She shook her head a bit.

“Oh no, I’m too scared,” Dani said sheepishly. You nodded in agreement.

“Maybe another time.” Christian stood up.

“Hey can I join…” he started turning to Pelle.

“You’re American. Just jam yourself in,” he said. Christian nodded and walked away. “I think I’ll join him,” Simon said and was quickly followed by the rest of the group except you, Pelle and Dani. There was a moment of silence as you watched them go.

“Hey, just real quick,” Pelle said, digging for something in his pocket. He took out two pieces of paper and handed them to you and Dani. You both opened them to reveal gorgeously drawn pictures of yourselves wearing flower crowns. “For you Dani, think of it as a birthday present. For you Y/N, I imagine it’s a thank you present.”

“Oh Pelle,” Dani said. “It’s beautiful, thank you.”

“Thank you for what?” you asked, brushing your finger over it. He smiled and shrugged.

“Just a thank you.”

“Well thank you for it,” you said. “I got Dani a new sweater. Christian forgot.” Pelle raised his eyebrow and you shared a look.

“I forgot to tell him...it’s my fault,” Dani explained. You shook your head.

“I tend to disagree,” you muttered. You folded the picture back up and put it in your pocket. You put your head on Pelle’s shoulders “But I think Christian is rude.”

“Perhaps you are too judgemental,” Pelle mused. “But I tend to agree with you regardless.” You and Dani laughed a bit. “We should probably go and catch up with them in case they get lost.”

=====

You got settled in in one of the large buildings, plenty of beds against the walls. Pelle was on the bed to your right while Dani slept on the one to your left.

“All right, beauty rest! Tomorrow’s a big day!” Pelle announced. You had one of the books you had brought open on your lap but you looked up at him.

“What’s tomorrow?” you asked.

“First of the big cerinomines,” he said mysteriously.

“So you’re just going to be weird and cryptic?” Josh asked, laughing a bit. Pelle pauses and then took Josh's notebook, writing something inside. You made an attempt to look but it was not a word that you recognized.

“What’s that?” Christian questioned. Pelle shrugged and laid down in his bed. You faced him, on the bed beside him.

“What is it?” you whispered to him. He gave you a teasing smile.

“It’s hard to explain.”

“I will come over there and tickle it out of you,” you threatened. He chuckled and turned around so he wasn’t facing you. But he put his arm back behind him, reaching across the space between your two beds.

You grabbed it and rubbed his knuckles anxiously.

=====

There was a very odd breakfast the next day but you tried not to judge. You wanted to really appreciate Pelle’s culture and understand it. He had admired you for your understanding and he knew you would make an effort.

That’s why he chose to love you.

You were the obvious choice.

After that you walked out to a cliffside where most of the people were already out and lined up. You were curious to find complete silence. Everyone was silent as it happened and you were able to do nothing but watch as these two elderly people stood up on top of the cliff.

When the first person, a woman, jumped, you grabbed Pelle, putting your hand in front of your mouth. He grabbed you and wrapped his arms around you but it didn’t change the look of serenity on his face.

Simon was standing next to Ingemar yelling as the man approached the cliffside.

You had your face in Pelle’s arms. You were shaking.

“It is the way of life,” he whispered to you. Simon was still screaming. Another elder was talking to him and you could feel Pelle want to move toward them but he stayed beside you. “It is our way of recycling them and their gifts.”

You pulled away from him and shook your head a bit. You met Dani’s eyes. She wasn’t showing much emotion other than shock. You didn’t blame her.

“They’re dead,” you whispered. He nodded and put his hands on your upper arms.

“And it is an honor to have died that way.” You weren’t sure how to feel. You wanted to be understanding, to try and understand him and his ways. You would want that from him. But he should have prepared you more for that.

You walked over to Dani and walked beside her on the way back to the houses.

=====

“I’m leaving,” Dani said.

“I don’t blame you.” She was already packing a bag. You sat down on your bed, head in your hands. You took a deep breath and leaned back on the bed.

“Are you coming with me?” she asked. Her voice was shaking. She was clearly shaken up by all of this.

“No,” you muttered. “I’m not leaving Pelle yet.”

“Not even after that?” Her voice was quiet but it was urgent. You shook your head a bit.

“I just have to talk to him. He should have warned us more, of course but....it’s what he’s been raised to believe is normal. I don’t think I should think of it as a bad thing.”

“We just watched people die!” You stood up off the bed and put your hands on your upper arms, steading her.

“You can go home and I will not blame you. In the slightest. I just think I should stay longer,” you told her. She nodded solemnly. She took a deep breath in through her nostrils and nodded again.

=====

Before bed that night Pelle approached you. You were standing outside of the bed house, leaning against it to try and clear your thoughts. You almost completely ignored him but in the end you locked eyes with him as he approached.

“I’m sorry I didn’t give you adequate warning,” he said sympathetically. He grabbed your hand and held it. “I thought you would understand but I know now that it was wrong of me to assume.” You shook your head quickly.

“I understand it was just...a shock,” you muttered. He nodded and kissed your forehead softly.

“You are completely safe here. I want you to know that.” He looked you in the eyes when he said it. You believed him. You nodded back and gestured to the house.

“Let’s get some shut eye huh? And maybe warn me if we see another person...you know.” You made a slicing gesture across your neck. He laughed gently and nodded, placing a hand on the small of your back and leading you inside.

=====

Dani walked up to you, still distraught but less so. You were standing beside Pelle the next day as he kneeled in front of the ground picking some vegetables. You turned to her as she walked up, ready to handle whatever she was about to throw at you.

“Hey,” you said, taking the step away from Pelle and toward her.

“Hi. Did you see Simon left without Connie?” she asked. You raised an eyebrow and shook your head.

“Seriously? What a dick.” She clearly felt a little bit off put by it so you lowered your voice. “You think it’s weird?” Dani nodded a bit.

“I don’t know...it’s a little weird. They seemed so close.” You nodded. They did seem close.

“I don’t know...something to keep in mind I suppose.” She nodded quickly in agreement.

======

Dinner that night was simple pastries. You were pleased. The last food they had given you wasn’t your kind of taste. You sat between Pelle and Dani again.

“Have you seen Connie?” Dani asked you quietly. You shook your head.

“Excuse me but I know what happened,” a man sitting beside Mark said. “Her boyfriend called the landline from the train station. She begged us to drive her so we took her down to the station.” You nodded slowly, glancing at Pelle. He shrugged, seemingly in agreement.

“Why would Simon leave without her?” you asked quietly.

“I can see you doing that,” Dani muttered at Christian. You wanted to laugh so you turned to Pelle, sneaking a smile. He shrugged with a smile on his face also.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Christian asked.

“Nevermind.”

“You wouldn’t do that,” Pelle said quietly, so only you could hear. You ate a bite of the pastry proudly.

“You’re damn right.”

======

One of the important books was stolen that night. They announced it at breakfast.

“Where is your friend Josh?” one of the elders asked, after breakfast. You, Christian, Dani and Pelle all stood in front of the two elders, caught like a deer in headlights.

“I know. We have no idea,” Christian said.

“He and your other friend disappear in the same day. You understand how that looks.”

“Yes obviously, but we swear to you we are not a part of this,” Christian said. Dani shuffled a bit.

“We did see Mark go off with one of the girls last night,” she said.

“Which girl?”

“Inga,” Pelle said.

“But Mark wouldn’t have done this. Josh, though, he came to bed with us, and when we woke up, he was gone. And if he did take that book, I just pray you understand we do not identify as friends of his, or collaborators, or anything. I certainly don't vouch for him and we'd be so embarrassed to be connected to this in any way,” Christian explained.

“I feel responsible,” Pelle said. The elders nodded a bit.

“Well you and Odd can go looking. Perhaps you can redeem them,” one of the elders said. You didn’t want Pelle to leave. You didn’t like it when you were separated here. You believed him when he said you were safe but...it was still a little odd. “You two will be going with the women for the day’s activity,” he said to you and Dani. “And Siv asks to see you in her house,” she said to Christian.

You glanced at Pelle as he left. He grabbed your hand and squeezed it, almost saying ‘do well!’.

=====

You and Dani got dressed in white shirts with flower crowns. It made you a tad bit nervous but at least you had her.

She gestured to the drink they were handing out. Cups had been given to both of you to drink it.

“Can I ask what’s in this?” Dani asked one of the girls.

“It’s...tea for the dancing competition.” You raised an eyebrow but took a glass anyway. Dani looked back at you and you shrugged.

“I’ll beat you,” you muttered.

“Try me.”

You both took drinks of the tea.

Your head became fuzzy the second it hit your throat. You hadn’t taken those drugs before hand and you almost didn’t want to do it now but it was already done. Your feet were moving along with the girls, tossing bodies left and right it felt like.

You lost sight of Dani very quickly.

You were running and jumping and laughing until the elder lady yelled to stop then you kept dancing.

Dancing, dancing, dancing, dancing.

Dancing.

It seemed to go on forever. Your mind was hazed, your head hurt, your glances were so quick they gave you whiplash. You were smiling brightly when they announced they were down to the final eight. You finally saw Dani again, in the eight with you.

All of the fallen dancers had sat off on the side. You saw Christian, looking hilariously out of place. And Pelle.

Your heart swelled with love for Pelle. You could barely know anything else for a moment as you stared at him.

You couldn’t see it but in that moment, Dani believed she learned how much she hated Christian.

Then more dancing.

People were speaking and then it was just you and Dani, holding hands, dancing around in a circle, tired and out of breath. She stared at you and a smile went over her face as she held your hand.

And then she tripped. You stopped dancing and someone ran up to you, putting their hands on your shoulder.

“It’s over?” you asked.

“You are our May Queen!” they yelled. You were still hazzed. Each face looked the same. The people running up to you were strangers but you felt nothing but warmth for them. They placed a different flower crown atop your head.

Pelle ran up to you smiling brightly.

“Wow! May Queen, my love!” he said, giving you a strong kiss, both his hands resting on your cheeks. You were smiling brightly and then he was gone. You didn’t want him to go.

They carried you on a platform to a dinner table where you sat at the head, Dani beside you and Pelle on the other side as usual.

One of the elders stood at the end of the dinner.

“Now it is traditional for the May Queen to bless our crops and livestock. And after the luck you just inherited from that salt herring, we should all be doubly encouraged.” You looked around nervously.

“Can Pelle come with me?”

“No. The Queen must ride alone.”

You were starting to come to your own and realize how crazy this all was. How did you get here? How would you get out of here? You found yourself hoping you didn’t get out of here though. This felt like home. Some form of home. As you walked to the carriage you saw a glimpse of the pride on Pelle’s face.

It made you immensely happy.

======

They made you do a ritual in Swedish and you did your best with the limited knowledge of the language you knew. You went to Siv’s house, where she blessed you. You wondered where Dani was. You hoped she was alright. You should have let her become the May Queen. You should have let her win, just so you knew she was alright.

The women left you alone for only a moment where they ushered Pelle into the house with all of the beds where you were. He was still smiling that bright smile as he rushed up to you, hugging you tightly to him.

“You have no idea the amount of honor and pride you have brought to me. I am so very proud of you,” he said, cupping your cheeks. You tried not to get too flustered with your smile in return.

“So I get my picture up on that wall?” you questioned. He nodded pleasantly.

“Yes you will!” He kissed you passionately and you let him, allowing him to dip you a bit. “And you will be allowed to stay here, with the family.”

You didn’t even react. You didn’t feel the need to.

“With you?”

“Yes of course. You will be mine and I will be yours.”

You nodded happily.

“Where is Dani?” you asked.

“She is alright, she’s with the other women preparing. She is also going to stay.” You wanted to laugh of joy with that. “It is time for the final of the ceremonies,” he told you. “You will finally be able to give Christian what you think he deserves, if you wish it.”

He placed an even larger flower crown atop your head.

“And a dress as well, to fit a Queen.”

He gestured to the large flower dress in the room you hadn’t even noticed. He kissed you once more.

“It is time for the final ceremony. I’ll help you put on the dress. Are you ready?” he asked. He looked at you patiently. You nodded.

“Yes, I am.”

[bnhaisliterallymylife]

Creatures of the Forest

I haven’t written anything on here in months, and to be honest I should be working on my novel rather than this. But, I’m a whore for EraserMic and can’t resist the temptation. Plus, I have a weakness for Monster AU’s, so I’m going to have fun with this.

Also heads up, I did not proofread, and story details might be a little muddy. I am tired and horny, and I will now go to bed.

Word Count: 5,242 (Kill me.)

Pairing(s): Jinn!Shouta x Female Reader x Siren!Hizashi

Warnings: 18+, dub-con, fingering, double-penetration, anal sex, vaginal sex, creampie, and probably more filth.

Premise: You just wanted to have some time yourself, and considering how cheap the cabin was you couldn’t pass up the chance at a countryside getaway. And they couldn’t pass up a chance of you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The cabin is not what you expected, but nonetheless you just felt glad at the chance to get away from the city for awhile. Your job has been stressing you out for months, and your family is no better. You booked out this one bedroom wood cabin from the 1970s for the next two weeks, a vacation away from technology and far, far away from the thoughts that kept you from yourself.

When you first arrived you checked out the whole cabin only to find cobwebs and dust covering nearly every surface, and the appliances were horrifically outdated. So, you decided to spend your time cleaning it up a little so you didn’t feel like a spider was going to crawl into your mouth in the middle of the night. Good thing, too, because you managed to find a fiddleback in its nest just under the bed. Now, you might hate spiders, but you’re by no means a killer.

“Work with me here, otherwise one of us is gonna get hurt.” You carefully manage to put a plastic cup over the agitated spider, and using a piece of paper you’re able to carefully take it outside. You don’t want to leave it near the cabin, and you don’t want to leave it out in the open field - what if a bird got to it? You have no choice but to trek out past the lovely field of wildflowers to the dark forest that lay just beyond it.

The trees tower over you as the sun begins to set in the distance. You’re not that far away from the cabin, but hearing the branches rustle against each other as the wind blows a warm summer breeze across your skin sends goosebumps over your body. It would be best to quickly release the spider and get out of there.

You go over to the nearest tree at the very edge of the forest and take the cup away from the paper. There the spider sits, rearing back as a threat, but its dramatics do nothing to you.

“You’re not so scary out in the open, are you?”

“He could probably say the same to you.”

You drop the paper and cup, whipping your head around to find the source of the melodic voice that had spoken to you, but no one is there.

“Over here, little bird.”

Your gaze falls back towards the forest, and just a few feet in front of you is a man with long, golden blonde hair that cascades down to his waist. He’s tall, probably six feet if you had to guess, and he’s wearing a tank top and jean shorts that show off his toned body almost too well. Then there’s his eyes, a green so bright that it contrasts the darkness of the forest.

“What are you doing here?” This land is supposed to be private, or at least that’s what the listing said.

“Sorry! I forget my manners sometimes. I’m one of the owners, you’re Y/N right?” Oh, one of the owners! You remember now, the listing mentioned that the owners of the property lived elsewhere on the land and might come by to check in on things.

“Yeah. You know, the cabin could have used a cleaning. When’s the last time you had anyone else here?”

“Somethin’ like five or so years. You like it though?”

“It’s... Cozy.” The sun seems to be disappearing much faster now. “Minus the spider.”

“Unfortunately we can’t do much about nature, little bird.” You want to ask him not to call you that, but you don’t want to be rude. The cabin is pretty cheap and you’d hate to cut this trip short because of a nickname. “But, if ya want my husband can come spray the cabin for pests tomorrow. I could bring by some food, too.”

“Oh, no thanks. I think it was just the one anyways.” The point of this whole trip is for you to get some alone time, and inviting this admittedly alluring man and his husband over would go against that.

“If you’re sure...” He trails off, glancing towards the spider that is now climbing quickly up the side of the tree. “If you do change your mind though, let us know! We don’t like pests around here, either.” You chuckle a little at that, but by now you’re already starting to back away from the forest to head back towards the cabin.

“I’ll keep that in mind, sir!” You call back, now intent on getting across this field as quickly as possible. But, his next words feel like they’re a whisper in your ear, making you jerk your head back towards the forest. My name is Hizashi, little bird.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After unpacking that night you found yourself exhausted from the long travel to the cabin. After checking that all of the windows and doors were locked securely, you went to bed thinking about the blonde in the woods and the plans that you had for the next day. Your eyes closed with those thoughts mingling together as you fell into a seemingly deep sleep, unaware of the eyes that watched you from just outside of the bedroom window.

“She’s even better than I imagined...”

“You shouldn’t have gone to her today, it’s too soon.”

“If we wait too long then we’ll lose our chance! Let’s take her now, she wants to be far away, so we’ll take her far away.”

“We need time, and permission.”

“Well, I know how to get one of those things.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the sun peeks through the bedroom window you attempt, and fail to stifle a groan. It might have been a good idea to bring curtains with you, but you suppose that it’s part of the woodsy experience. You sit up and stretch your arms high above your head, unaware of the creature slithering across the floor until you put your feet down and hear a hiss. Immediately you pull your feet back onto the bed with a high-pitched scream. The rattlesnake coils itself up and sets its eyes directly on you, only a few feet away from the bed.

“Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.” You mutter to yourself as you reach for your cellphone on the side table. Unfortunately for you, the snake leaps forward and takes a snap towards your arm, eliciting another screech from you and making you back yourself against the far corner of the bed. “Go to the woods, you thought, it’ll be a great experience!” You mock yourself, now looking for anything nearby that you could use as a weapon. You could toss the blanket over it and try to make a run for it, but what you miss or what if it still managed to get you?

“Y/N!” You hear Hizashi just outside the cabin.

“We heard a scream, is everything alright!?” Another voice joins him, likely his husband.

“N-No! There’s a snake in here!” You glance towards the window to see it cracked open. Didn’t you lock it last night? “I can’t get past it!” You hear some banging at the front door, but shouldn’t they have a key? Or maybe they didn’t want to just walk in? “The window to the room is open! Hurry!” How close is the nearest hospital if you get bit? How long would it take you to die?

When you see two figures come around to the bedroom window you feel like you could weep in relief, but they hesitate.

“Is it okay for us to come in? How close is the snake?” The dark-haired man asks, and in your panic you don’t even question the absurdity of the first question.

“I-It’s close to me, you can come in. Be careful though.” You’re much quieter now, thinking that maybe your yelling only made the creature on your floor angrier. Hizashi’s husband only then pushes the window further open, sticking one leg inside to stabilize himself before coming all the way in. The snake is too focused on you to notice the new intruder.

“Y/N, my name is Shouta, and I need you to follow my instructions. Can you do that for me?” His voice is low and smooth, it calms you instantly.

“O-Okay.”

“Good girl. Pick up the blanket from your bed very slowly, try not to make any sudden movements - he’s more scared of you than you are of him.” You highly doubt that, but nonetheless you lean down very slowly while Shouta sneaks around the back of the snake to grab the blanket. “Very good girl.” Your face flushes at the almost sensual compliment. “Now, throw it onto the snake. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you safe.” His reassurance calls you to action, tossing the thin blanket onto the snake. It hisses and wildly whips around under the blanket until Shouta manages to scoop up the blanket like a bag and tie it off. Just like that, your ordeal is over.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay now Y/N, Shou’s got the big bad snake.” Hizashi is suddenly by your side in an instant. When did he come through the window? His hand is on yours as he gently guides your shaky body off of the bed.

“I don’t even know how that thing got in, I-I locked every door and window last night! I double checked everything, I cleaned yesterday, I just don’t...” Why was the window open? Did she maybe get up last night and open it? It did get pretty hot last night... Quite suddenly, you’re extremely aware of how bare you feel in your cute light blue cotton shorts and black sports bra. You hadn’t even thought of it during your state of panic.

“I’m going to take this guy outside and let him go. Hizashi brought a dish over for you to try, if you want the company.” The two of them don’t seem to mind your half-dressed state, but you do.

“Sure, um, do you mind stepping out for a few minutes though.” You release Hizashi’s hand and grab the sheet from the bed to cover yourself. They understand pretty quickly, but both men didn’t mind it. If anything they want to see more of your soft, beautiful skin.

“Sorry ‘bout that beautiful! We’ll give ya some space!” With that, both men are leaving your presence and you feel like you can breathe a sigh of relief. What just happened? It feels like it all happened at once, but you can’t say that you aren’t relieved by their excellent timing. You decide to slip on some normal jean shorts and a faded AC/DC tee-shirt you got a few years back.

When you step out of the bedroom you can see Hizashi already bustling around the kitchen, humming in a way that made you feel warm little fuzzies on the inside. Shouta is sitting at the dining room table with his dark eyes shut. You take a moment to silently admire Hizashi’s husband. He’s more filled out than the lithe blonde, and while his black wavy hair is long, it’s only a few inches past his shoulders. And then she notices the deep scar just under his right eye.

“See something you like?” Your face once again turns red when you realize his eyes have opened and he’s looking directly at you.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare-”

“It’s alright. It’s the scar, right?” When he says this, Hizashi stops his cooking momentarily to look back at you and his husband.

“Oh, no! I don’t mind scars, scars can be sexy!” Why did you have to say that? An amused smirk slides across Shouta’s lips when you say this. Hizashi, meanwhile, lets out a chuckle that makes the air around you feel too light.

“Well of course scars are sexy! Why don’t you tell little bird how you got that scar?” As he says this you come to sit at the table. You may as well indulge them, they did come to your rescue after all.

“It’s not that interesting.” Shouta waves it off, but he can tell that you’re interested. “Unless you want to hear about it?”

“It’s not like I have anything else to do.” You shrug, and with that you get to spend the rest of your morning with the two men.

Apparently, Shouta had a run in with a man trespassing on the land and got a knife pulled on him. He said it wasn’t that interesting, but the way he told it captivated your interest. The guy was probably a hunter, or a thief, but they never found out. The local deputy came to get the guy after the confrontation, and that was that. They continued to talk with you long after breakfast had finished and you all had eaten, asking you about your interests, your passions, the reason why you came out here. You don’t know why, but when they ask you these questions you answer without a second thought. You think that it’s because no one has ever bothered to listen to you for this long, and the couple makes you feel as if you belong here, like you’re a person who deserves to be cherished. Originally you came here to be alone, but when you’re with them you feel something that you never felt back home. You just can’t quite describe it. Hours pass, and it’s well past noon when the two men decide to take their leave.

“If you see anymore snakes-”

“-Or if you just want our company-”

“-just give us a call on the landline.” Shouta finishes for the two of them as they walk out the front door.

“Sure thing, thanks again. I don’t know what I would have done if you two hadn’t come over.”

“Probably woulda sat there, desperately waiting for your prince charming to come save you. Good thing you already have two of us.” Hizashi’s joke manages to get a little giggle out of you.

“You’re cheesy.” Shouta grumbles, though you could see a small smile on his face as well. “Come on, let’s leave Y/N alone.” You watch the two of them walk not down the dirt road that you drove on to get here, but back through the forest that encircles the cabin.

Once the couple is gone, it’s like you snap back to reality. This morning was crazy, and you got lucky, but you swore that you locked that window shut last night. Deciding that perhaps it was better to enjoy the rest of your day than continue to obsess over the snake incident, you take a sketch book and go out back to draw the pretty flowers in the field.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The night feels even hotter than the day, making it near impossible for you to cover up in any way. Long ago you stripped yourself bare, sprawling yourself on top of the covers with a sheen of sweat covering your body. If you didn’t feel the cool air struggling to reach you from the vents, then you would almost think the AC is broken. Currently, you’re half asleep in an almost dreamlike state. That’s when you hear a soft whisper.

“What is your wish?”

You turn on your side, letting out unintelligible mumbles. A more soothing, honeyed voice joins the first.

“What do you desire, little bird?”

That voice sends tingles all through your body, setting every nerve on fire. It compels you to answer.

“I want...” You mumbles, eyes half open and glazed over as you give your answer. “I want... Release...” You want to feel all of your stresses disappear as if they never existed.

“I’ll give you release, kitten.”

The voice no longer sounds far away, which snaps you out of that sleepy haze and once again makes you aware of your surroundings.Your eyes adjust to the darkness to find yourself no longer in the cabin, but surrounded by looming vertical objects... Trees?

“Shhh, don’t panic, we’re here.” There’s that voice again, the one that makes orgasmic waves pulse through your eardrums. It soothes any worries that you currently have as two hands come up to your shoulders and gently lay you onto the soft ground.

They prepared this place just for you. The cabin had been a front from the very beginning, a way to lure you away from bustling city life so they could give you what you wanted - release. You didn’t know it, but you had met Shouta months before this at a little bakery just down the street from your work. You had been complaining on the phone about your new boss and how stressed you were because of your obligations, and you wished that someone would take you away from your own life. Unknowingly, you had called upon the closest Jinn in the area, and he had already taken notice of you.

“Be gentle with her, it could be her first time.”

“It’s definitely not. But don’t worry, I took care of the ex months ago.”

You can vaguely hear the conversation of the two men looming over you, but you do not react. On the inside you feel fear, vulnerability, and confusion. You can’t quite make out the figures above you, but you recognize the voices; your hosts, Shouta and Hizashi. You just can’t comprehend why they are doing this. Earlier today they were fine, sure they were getting a little too close and asking too many questions, but you wouldn’t say they invaded your space... Or did they?

“Took care of?”

“Nothing like that, he wished for a job in France, so I got him the job in France... But, he might not like that job very much.” You can hear the smirk in his voice even if you can’t see it. “It was necessary.”

“Agreed.” The hands that had pushed you back onto the pillowy moss are now moving down your sides, just barely brushing over the sides of your breasts. You barely register the sigh of pleasure that leaves your lips at the tantalizing contact.

“Zashi...”

“What? Isn’t this what we wanted?”

“We need permission.”

“We have permission! You heard the wish!”

“It was vague. I want details.” Suddenly, you can feel another set of hands gently massaging your bare feet, then moving up your smooth legs to part them at the thighs. The exposure makes you whimper, though there’s little you can do beyond that. “Release your influence, Hizashi.”

“But if we do that-”

“Release her. I want to hear her.” With what sounds like a huff of frustration from the blonde, that hazy feeling that had come over you suddenly dissipates. Your vision becomes more clear along with the two entities above you.

Hizashi has moves your arms so they’re now pinned above your head, preventing you from covering your bare breasts from their view. Shouta still has your legs spread on either side of you, but he doesn’t move any further. You meet his eyes, eyes that had been onyx earlier in the day but now glow an eerie shade of red.

“Months ago you wished to be taken away from your life. Do you remember that, Y/N?” You can’t focus on Shouta’s voice, all you can focus on is your current situation. Tings sting the edges of your eyes, and your throat starts to close up.

“P-Please...”

“She’s not going to respond like this, Shou.”

“She will, be patient. Y/N, I need you to look at me.” His voice is stern. Even though you want to look away, you once again meet his gaze. “What do you wish for now?”

“Let m-me go!” That’s your first thought, but then you feel one of Shouta’s hands creeping further up your thigh, his fingers just barely brushing over your outer lips.

“Do you mean that?” You nod your head frantically, and unbeknownst to you Shouta’s partner is giving him an incredulous look. “So, you want to go back to that stressful life in the city? You want your asshole boss to walk all over you, making you feel like you’re the scum of the earth? You want your parents to treat you like you mean nothing?” He emphasizes the final word with a hiss, and this seems to get to you. Your sniffling briefly ceases, though you’re still tugging against the tight hold of both of the men as if you could escape.

“What are you?”

“A Jinn, kitten. Do you know what a Jinn is?” You nod you head - you’re aware of the mythology behind beings like him, but how does he exist? They’re fictional! “Months ago I heard your desperate plea, and ever since then I’ve been eager to give you want you want... For a price.” His thumb brushes over your clit briefly, making your body stiffen.

“F-For sex?”

“For partnership. To be with me, to be with Hizashi, to be with both of us. It does get lonely out here.”

“And I can’t leave.” Hizashi pipes in with a sad smile. “I’m a Siren tied permanently to this forest. Remember the story about the man with a knife? He was going to hurt this place, so we had no choice. Once this place is gone, so am I.” His thumbs rub soothing circles into your skin.

“You don’t need me though, I don’t need your wishes or whatever! I want to...” You wish that you could say that you want to go home, but do you? Despite your current circumstances, you found yourself considering this deal.

“If you’re here, then Hizashi won’t be alone. I can go out for supplies without worrying about him.”

“And if you’re here, you won’t have to deal with those pesky worries you had before little bird. You get to have fun, be free, be loved by us.” But why you? Why did they want to take you?

“Because you’re special, Y/N. Because out of everyone in that city, you were the one who wanted to escape the most, who cared but wasn’t cared for. You deserve us.” Shouta drives his point home here, but he hopes that it will be enough. After all, he would prefer your consent, but it’s not entirely needed here.

“Okay.” You whisper. After all, what’s really waiting for you back home? Misery and paperwork, that’s what.

“Okay what?”

“You need to be more specific, Y/N.” You take a deep, shuddering breath before you speak again.

“I-I want release, I don’t want to go home anymore.”

“And in exchange?” Shouta pushes, his eyes glowing as he stares into yours.

“In e-exchange, I’ll stay here. I’ll be your... Partner.”

That seems to be all that they need from you, because in the next moment the two men above you are no longer clothed. You squeak and shut your eyes - it’s not the first time you’ve seen a naked man, but usually they don’t just pop out in front of you like that!

“You’re little noises are so cute.” Hizashi uses one of his knees to keep your wrists pinned above your head so his hands could get to work. While your eyes are still closed you feel his soft fingers run across your neck and past your collarbone, headed straight for your breasts. But just before they can get there, a pair of lips smash to yours. Shouta’s tongue flicks out at your bottom lip, beckoning you to allow him inside. Just at that moment, Hizashi’s fingers find your pert nipples, giving each of them a tiny pinch. This causes you to moan, and Shouta takes the chance to slide his tongue into your mouth to get a taste.

You can feel Shouta’s thick erection against your cunt, twitching in anticipation. It has been awhile since you’ve had another man, and you have to admit that the thought of being railed by these very good looking men wasn’t so bad. You start to becoming lightheaded from the kiss and constant ministrations of your sensitive nipples when Shouta finally pulls away from the kiss to let you breathe.

“Good girl.” He brings his thumb up to wipe away some of the saliva from around your lips. “We’ll put this to more use later. For now, I want to see you cum.” In what feels like two seconds Shouta is suddenly between your thighs, throwing your legs over his shoulders so he could get a good view of your waiting, wet pussy. He blows cool air over your sensitive little nub, making it quiver and throb in anticipation. Meanwhile, Hizashi finally leans down to suck one of your nipples into his mouth, flicking his tongue over the little bug while his fingers continue to tug and pinch the other. Your head sits in the blonde’s lap, his cock mere inches away from your face.

“Do you want to suck me, little bird?” As he says this in that low, melodic voice of his, Shouta flicks his tongue over your clit, making your writhe under them.

“Careful, she almost came.”

“Is my voice too much for you?” You can only pant in response, letting out a soft moan when Shouta flicks his tongue over your little nub again.

“Answer him, or we’ll make this last.”

“Y-Yes... It’s... I makes me feel good.” His voice makes you feel like you could orgasm in seconds.

“And do you want to suck daddy’s cock?” The way he words it makes you whine, but you nonetheless give him an answer.

“Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes... Daddy.” The instant that you finish that sentence, Shouta’s mouth latches onto your clit, sucking on it so harshly that you can feel your head spin. Hizashi repositions himself so he’s kneeling right over your face, running his fingers through your hair as he guides your lips to his tip. You take his tip into your mouth and suck it softly, eliciting a groan from the man that gets sent straight to your groin.

“Fuck, just her lips are almost enough... Come on honey, you can take me deeper.” And you do, you try to relax your throat so you can take Hizashi’s cock deeper into your mouth, swirling your tongue around his base, all while Hizashi has his hands continually playing with your nipples, never letting up.

Shouta continues his work between your legs, nipping softly at your clit while bringing a finger to your entrance. He gently pushes it inside of you, giving it a few thrusts before adding a second. You adjust tremendously well. He can already feel your wet cavern clenching tightly around his fingers as he curls his digits upwards. To this you give him a sweet little cry, which only results in Shouta setting a relentless pace. He pounds those fingers into you, hitting your sensitive spot with such precision that you can hardly focus on the cock in your mouth all while sucking and swirling his expert tongue over your swollen clit until you finally clench tightly around his fingers and cry out with your first orgasm of the evening.

Hizashi slows down the thrusts into your mouth as Shouta pulls away from between your legs, slowly pulling himself out as well. For a moment you’re confused, wondering why they could pull away when they haven’t found relief yet, only to be suddenly pulled forward so you’re hovering right over Shouta’s thick length. Hizashi comes up behind you, pressing soft kisses and nipples to the soft spot on your neck - he’s going to leave plenty of marks here later.

“Do you think you can take both of us?” Shouta asks, momentarily confused you until you realize what he means.

“I’ve never done it, um, there before.”

“We can make it easy, if you let us. It’ll only feel good.” Hizashi assures you, rubbing comforting circles into your thighs.

“We want to make you feel good.” Shouta adds, both hesitating until they see you nod your head once again.

“Okay.” You still feel nervous, but you want to feel good, and so far it feels really good.

Shouta helps your ease yourself onto his dick, pressing gently into your waiting pussy while giving your already oversensitive clit little flicks from his thumb. Once he has settled deep within you, you feel Hizashi spread your ass cheeks and press a finger into you. Your face burns from slight embarrassment, but admittedly as he begins to move the saliva covered digit in and out of you, you find yourself enjoying it. You try to move whilst on top of Shouta, but he grabs your hips to keep you still.

“Wait.” He commands, smirking at your impatient whine. That whine then turns into a gasp as you feel a second finger being pressed into your rear hole, nibbling on your bottom lip as an uncomfortable burning sensation takes place of the previous pleasure.

“Relax for me, little bird.” Hizashi whispers, and like his words work magic you instantly relax and that burning sensation goes away. He pumps those a few times while your juices continue to drench Shouta’s cock, then they’re gone, replaced instead by Hizashi’s pulsating member. “Stay relaxed, and take a few breaths.” Hizashi murmurs, placing a few soft kisses to your neck as he pushes himself into you.

At first you feel that uncomfortable burning sensation once again, but then that changes to a fullness that gives you pleasure. You huff in lust as Hizashi pushes the full of his length into you, both men temporarily remaining still while you adjust. Your back is pressed flush against Hizashi’s chest, so you can feel his heartbeat rhythmically hammering against you while they both wait.

“Please...”

“Please what?” Shouta once again brushes his thumb over your swollen clit, making you whimper.

“Please, make me yours.”

As if you said the magic words, both men suddenly begin to move within you. Shouta keeps your hips stilled while rolling his own to thrust up into you, meanwhile Hizashi wraps one arm around your waist to grope your breast. You feel his teeth graze against your shoulder with enough pressure to bruise, but you don’t care, you’re in a euphoric state right now.

Shouta keeps your clit busy with his thumb while the both of them pick up their paces, the sound of sweaty skin slapping together resonating throughout the dense forest. You can feel your next orgasm already building as the two of them continue at their brutal pace, the feeling of your holes clenching around them driving them absolutely wild with lust - they’re not going to last much longer, either.

“Fuck - we love you, kitten.”

“Yesss, we love you so much little bird.” Hizashi grunts into your ear, and while you can’t say it yet, you’re sure that it won’t take but a few months before you’re saying the same words back.

All it takes is one well timed thrust against your g-spot and another flick to your clit before you’re clamping down on both men and letting out a long, strangled moan with your second orgasm. Shouta follows quickly behind you along with Hizashi, both men pressing deep within you before they spill their seeds. They stay inside of you even afterwards, letting you back in your afterglow as they both praise you, pressing kisses over your skin and telling you how great you did for them.

It’s too late for you to turn back now. You’ve made the deal, and you sealed it the second that you said yes.

[silver-sketchbook]

Girls Night Out

Girls Night Out - Silver7456 - Top Gun (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]

Summary: Halo and Phoenix go out for the afternoon, leaving Bob and Fritz to entertain themselves.

Word Count: Roughly 4.3k

Warnings: Uhh mild violence, I think. It's not graphic though.

“Floyd? Robert? Bob? Bobby? Bobert my man- “

“Bobert? That’s not even a real name.”

“But it got your attention, did it not?”

Bob huffed, looking up from the book he was reading, “What do you want, Fritz?”

“I’m bored,” Fritz shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Bob sighed. All he wanted was to enjoy this night with a good book, but Fritz seemed to have a different idea of fun.

“Read a book or something,” he said, trying to pick back up where he left off.

“That’s boring. I don’t want to read. I gotta do something physical, my guy,” Fritz began to rock back and forth on his heels, “I want to go somewhere.”

“Alright, fine,” Bob put a bookmark in his book and set it on the side table next to him, “What did you have in mind?”

“I don’t know I didn’t think I’d get this far.”

Bob readjusted his glasses and ran a hand through his hair in thought. “How about we go… to the… uh,” Fritz looked at him expectantly, “How about the mall?”

“The… Mall…?” Fritz quirked his eyebrows in confusion, “what are we, Bobby, a couple of teenage girls?”

“I don’t hear you giving any better ideas.”

“The mall it is then.”

----------

The mall stood in front of them, large and imposing. Bob ran his thumb across his keychain, a nervous habit he had formed long before he even became a pilot, as the two of them began the trek through the parking lot. He was never a big fan of malls, and internally he was cursing himself for suggesting it in the first place.

He looked over at Fritz, who was a few feet ahead and walking a little faster. He seemed to be at least marginally excited, so Bob decided he was going to grin and bear this. Time spent with a friend would hopefully outweigh the stress of the ordeal.

Reaching the doors and stepping inside, both men paused.

“What now?” Bob asked hesitantly.

“We just start walking, Bobby boy.”

“Is that it? Just a walk in a slightly crowded public location?”

Fritz looked over to Bob and grinned, “What are you, a mall virgin?” He swung his hands in an arc in front of him, “You start walking, and you stop to enjoy whatever you come across along the way.”

“Alright, I’ll let you lead the way then,” Bob wrung his hands together. After a pause a slightly perplexed look graced his features. “What do you mean, mall virgin…” he mumbled.

Fritz didn’t respond, having already started walking deeper into the mall. Bob broke into a short jog to catch up.

“Hey, what do you think the girls are up to right now?”

----------

The air was thick and humid. Sweat caused her clothes to stick to her body. The gun in her hands felt heavy and she was acutely aware of the communication device that rested in her left ear.

Halo peeked her head above the crate she was crouching behind, taking in the landscape that lay before her. It was foggy and dim, making it hard to see well. Rubble and junk littered the area. A couple of buildings could be seen in the distance, ruin etched into their features.

She dipped her head back behind the crate, already pushing how long she had been without cover for those brief moments. She looked to her left, across an undefended gap, to where Phoenix crouched behind a pile of tires, gun of her own at the ready.

The two of them were on edge. It was quiet. Too quiet. Phoenix made eye contact with Halo and nodded. Halo understood the meaning. She readied her gun and once again peeked above the crate. Seeing nobody around, she fired a few quick rounds into the distance before ducking behind cover again.

The sounds of the shots ricocheted around the area for a moment before everything faded to silence once again. Halo looked to Phoenix, who motioned for the two of them to move forwards.

They darted forward to the next closest outcropping of cover, weaving in between the boxes and rubble. Halo had her head on a swivel the whole time, keeping an eye out for any signs of movement.

After what felt like hours of this, the two of them arrived at the side of one of the buildings. It looked worse up close. The walls were bare and cracked, with a couple of opportunistic plants creeping their way up the face of it. There was a window nearby, glass having been long broken out.

Phoenix looked through the window cautiously. Satisfied with what she saw, she nodded to Halo before climbing through. Halo kept her eyes on the landscape outside, covering Phoenix’s six before climbing through the window herself.

----------

“Oh sweet! Bobby this place has an arcade!”

Fritz took off in a dead sprint towards what Bob assumed was the arcade in question. Bob took off after him, eager to not lose his only companion in this suburban capitalist hell that was commonly referred to as a mall.

Finally catching up to him, Bob stopped to catch his breath. He hunched over, placing his hands on his legs and breathing heavily. Bob wasn’t out of shape by any means, but he was not ready for a run that quick and sudden, and Fritz was a fast man.

Straightening up, Bob looked around for the man in question. Fritz had wandered a little way away, making his way towards the back. Thankfully he was going slower this time, so Bob didn’t have to run.

“Slow down,” He huffed when he finally caught up with the man.

Fritz was not paying attention however, simply making a noise of acknowledgement. He seemed to be enthralled by a game on the back wall. Bob followed his gaze to see what had his friend so preoccupied.

Resting against the back wall was a pair of machines, screens showing flashing colors in the hopes of catching the eye. It was a game Bob recognized instantly despite not playing all that often. Dance Dance Revolution, a popular hit among teens and masochists alike.

Oh.

Oh god.

Fritz was making a beeline for physical rhythm hell, and chances were high that he was going to make Bob play too.

Bob desperately grabbed Fritz’s arm in a futile attempt to bargain with the man, “Billy, please no,” He pleaded.

“What’s wrong, Bobby, can’t handle a little rhythm game?” The grin on Fritz’s face was smug and insufferable. The man knew Bob’s hesitation, and he did not care.

Instead of responding, Bob simply rested his head against Fritz’s shoulder. He let out a defeated sigh, knowing he was on the losing side of a battle that hadn’t even begun.

“Hey, c’mon. One round, that’s all,” Fritz said, dragging Bob towards the machines and his imminent doom.

----------

Gunfire could be heard outside, drawing closer by the second. Halo and Phoenix were holed up on the second floor of the building, assessing their options.

“When I give the signal, make a dash for the roof,” Phoenix said as she readied a grenade, “There are a couple of trees on the east side of the building we can use to climb down safely,” she continued, “keep an eye out for movement, the area is crawling with enemies.”

Halo nodded and gave her gun a once-over, checking that it was ready for the inevitable, “and where’s the next cover?”

“A covered bunker a hundred yards out. Hard to spot, good for hiding,” The gunfire was nearly on top of them now, “I’ll go down the tree first, that way I can show you where to go.”

“Got it,” Halo pulled her goggles over her eyes and took a breath. She shifted her feet, preparing to make a dash for the stairs.

There was a knock at the door. And then another.

Suddenly the door was being smashed into. Whoever was on the other side was battering it like a blood-crazed beast.

Phoenix flashed a thumbs up and Halo sprang into action, bolting up the stairs. Phoenix followed a moment later. The door could be heard giving way behind them, followed by the sound of a grenade going off.

Not staying to see the aftermath, both women made their way onto the roof. Halo gave a quick check over the side of the building. Satisfied at the sight of the bodies below, she gave Phoenix a nod as she headed to the other side of the roof where the tree was.

They climbed down the tree carefully, and once both of their boots hit the ground Phoenix took off. Halo did not hesitate, following her towards the bunker.

----------

Bob’s legs were jelly, he couldn’t move them if he wanted to. His life was hell and here he was, face pressed against the filthiest floor he had ever seen. Somewhere behind him Fritz was going to town on the Dance Machines, facing off against some other soul who was bold enough to challenge him.

Ultimately he had managed to get Bob to go three rounds instead of the promised one. Bob was hesitant to admit it, but he actually had fun… for a while. Halfway through round three his legs started to hurt, and after that it was history.

“You good?” Apparently Fritz had finished at some point. He stood over Bobs prone form, mild concern on his face.

“M’fine,” came Bob’s muffled response.

“Great! Let’s go get ice cream!” Fritz said, grabbing Bob by the arm and pulling him to his feet.

Bob made a shocked noise at the sudden movement, but he didn’t protest. Fritz began to drag him along in the direction Bob presumed to be an ice cream shop.

Halfway through their trek Fritz let go of Bob’s arm. It didn’t matter, Bob kept pace, actually eager to get something to eat.

They made it to a small shop in the cafeteria and set about studying the menu. Fritz ended up with a triple scoop rocky road, and Bob got a simple two scoop strawberry.

They both ended up outside the mall, sitting on one of the low walls that decorated the landscape. Fritz was sitting crisscross applesauce, and Bob was letting his legs dangle off the wall.

“This was a good trip,” Bob said, taking another lick of his ice cream.

“Hell yeah it was, you had no reason to doubt me, Bobby boy,”

----------

Halo closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The air had cooled down a bit, but it was still muggy and sticky. She had long since sweat through her clothes, and she had to wipe her palms on her pants frequently to keep her gun from slipping.

Silence had once again fell in the area. There was no sign of life on the field, but Halo and Phoenix knew that was a lie. The enemy was lying in wait somewhere out there, ready to ambush when they reared their heads.

Halo was currently alone, hiding under a bush. Phoenix was not far away, crouching behind a large tree. They were in a tough spot. The rush to the bunker hadn’t gone as planned, and now they were surrounded.

Phoenix’s voice crackled to life over their radios, barely a whisper, “Do you trust me?”

“With my life,” Halo whispered back.

Phoenix took a deep breath, and then she rounded the tree and charged with a scream. The enemy appeared from every corner, popping out from nooks and crannies to fire on Phoenix.

Phoenix did her best to duck behind cover quickly, but she caught a stray bullet to her side. She grasped her side in pain, but she stayed strong.

Halo snapped her attention to the rest of the battlefield. She would not let Phoenix’s sacrifices be in vain. She had successfully drawn the enemy’s attention, and Halo would use that to her advantage.

She bolted from behind cover, making a mad dash for the center of the battlefield, readying the grenades in her hands. This was a final stand, and she would not go down kneeling.

----------

“What do you want to watch?” Bob asked as he thumbed through the DVD collection on the shelf.

Fritz gave a shrug from his position on the couch before he rattled off the names of some cheesy horror movies. Bob found the titles on the shelf and chose the one that looked the most appealing.

After the trip to the mall, they had decided to come back to the house for a movie. Fritz had his outing out of the house, now Bob got to choose an at home activity.

Bob stuck the disc in DVD player and made his way to the couch to sit next to Fritz. The man had raided the bathroom and currently was sorting through an impressive collection of nail polishes.

“What are you doing?”

“Thought we could have a little bit of a friendly competition. See who’s the better artist, you know?” Fritz replied, pulling aside the colors that caught his eyes.

“Is this all yours?”

“Nah. Its Halo’s. She lets me use them sometimes though, when I feel like it.”

“She’s got an impressive collection.”

Fritz hummed in agreement, focusing more on the colors he chose.

“So, what do you say, you think you’re a better artist than me?”

“Sure,” Bob responded, face unreadable. He started to sift through the collection, already thinking of what he would do.

----------

Halo panted heavily, back to the wall and completely surrounded. She could feel something warm dripping down her temple and her sides were aching.

She looked over at Phoenix, who was kneeling and leaning heavily on her gun. They were both behind cover in a nearby building, taking a much-needed breather after the all-out assault they had just endured. Their final gambit was paying off, taking a large chunk of the enemy out, but the fight wasn’t over.

Halo didn’t know how much longer they could go on. She put a hand to the warm on her temple, her hand coming back sticky. How she had survived a shot like that was beyond her. Phoenix wasn’t doing much better, her shirt and vest heavily stained. Both women were exhausted.

She checked her gun and let out a heavy sigh when she saw the ammo.

“How much ammo do you have left? I’m almost out.”

Phoenix took her weight off her gun and looked it over.

“Same here, probably six shots at most.”

Halo nodded. She patted her pockets, searching for alternatives.

“I have eight shots, one grenade, and my knife.”

“We're going to have to make it work,” Phoenix sighed.

Both women took a moment, breathing heavily in the silence. The enemy had stopped firing on their position and was waiting, presumably to save ammo.

Phoenix slowly got to her feet to join Halo on the wall. She made eye contact with her companion.

“This is our last stand, let's give it our all.”

Halo nodded, and patted Phoenix on the shoulder.

“Let’s give them hell.”

Both women turned towards the door and charged.

----------

“Damn Bobby, you’re surprisingly good at this,” Fritz said as he surveyed the art on his toes, “how’d you get so good?”

“I have a lot of sisters. What’s your excuse?”

“I was bored. Had a lot of time on my hands and Halo’s collection was right there. Thought it would be fun,” Fritz looked at the work he did on Bob’s toes. It seems both were surprisingly good at nail art. The competition part of this had been long forgotten.

Both men’s attention was drawn to the tv, as the credits of the movie started to roll. Neither of them had been watching, but it was good background noise.

“Should we start another one?”

“I don’t see why not.”

Fritz got up to choose another movie, walking carefully as to not ruin his nail art. He made a beeline for the romcoms this time, immediately identifying and picking out his favorite one. He popped it in the dvd player and booted it up.

As the movie started to open Fritz went to the kitchen. A few minutes went by before Bob got curious. Interested to see what he was getting up to, Bob got off the couch and made his way to the kitchen.

An entire watermelon rested on the counter, freshly cut in half. Fritz was putting popcorn into a small tabletop popcorn popper. He looked up at Bob and gave him a grin.

“I figured we should have some snacks, adds to the movie experience, yeah?”

“I’ve heard of popcorn as a movie snack, but watermelon?”

“It was just sitting around, I didn’t want it to go bad,” Fritz turned the popcorn machine on and began to grab some seasonings, “Do you think you could prepare the watermelon?” He waved one of the popcorn seasoning containers between Bob and the watermelon.

“Sure,” Bob paused, “Do you have a melon baller?”

“A what?” Fritz looked confused.

“A melon baller. You know, to scoop the melon?” Bob said, making a scooping motion with his hand.

“You… you scoop your melons…? What?”

“How else are you supposed to eat them?”

“Sliced! Like a regular human!”

“Screw this, you're eating scooped melon whether you have a baller or not,” Bob huffed. He grabbed a spoon and started scooping out the inside of the watermelon like it was ice-cream.

Fritz let out an amused chuckle and turned his attention back to the popcorn. “I do not get you sometimes, bobby boy.”

----------

Halo stood over the man breathing heavily. They were the last two survivors, and Halo was pissed. He had gotten the drop on Phoenix, surprising her with a point-blank gut shot before Halo could disarm him.

Phoenix lay a few feet away, dead. Halo was going to make this scumbag pay. She was out of ammo, but that didn’t matter. She wouldn’t stoop to a point blank shot anyways.

The man looked up at her, defeated.

“Do it, take me out already,” He huffed, upset at the situation.

Halo readied her knife and steeled her resolve. She pulled back for a strike, before plunging the blade into the man’s chest.

The plastic blade telescoped in on itself, leaking bright pink paint to simulate a hit. The man dropped his head in shame, but he didn’t even dignify Halo’s victory with a mock death. He shrugged off her blade and stood up, dusting himself off and wiping the paint off his vest.

“Tryhard,” He muttered as he gathered his gun and walked off.

Phoenix stirred from her place on the ground, shifting her position to better look at her partner.

“Damn, he was a sore loser,” She got up and dusted herself off, “That was a little bit anticlimactic, if you ask me.”

Halo snorted.

“Some people don’t appreciate the game enough.”

Phoenix laughed. She walked over to Halo and lifted the woman’s goggles.

“How in the world did you manage to get paint on you head inside the mask?”

“Beats me,” Halo shrugged, “How’s your gut? That point blank had to hurt.”

Phoenix brought her hand to her stomach and winced when she made contact.

“It’s definitely bruised. Hurts like hell. Probably gonna report that asshole for breaking the rules,” Phoenix hissed.

Halo gently took her by the wrist and led her out of the building into the rest of the field proper.

The fog had cleared, the fog machines having been turned off after the match ended. People were picking themselves off the ground, inspecting each other’s paint splattered outfits.

Halo led Phoenix through the mess back towards the main building. Both women were covered in paint and had to get cleaned up.

“We should do this more often,” Phoenix mused as Halo picked up their prize from the attendant at the check in window.

“What, the paintball?” Halo grinned, “Or were you talking about the winning part, of which I did.”

“I carried your ass for half the game,” Phoenix hit Halo in the shoulder lightly, “the paintball, silly.”

Halo giggled and hit Phoenix back. She handed her the small envelope of prize money and started towards the locker rooms. Phoenix followed after and slipped the prize into her pocket.

“I sure hope the house is still standing when we get back,” Halo mused as she got changed out of her paint-soaked outfit. She shoved the gross mess into a plastic bag and made a face when her hand came back sweaty and paint covered.

“Don’t worry, Bob is responsible. They should be fine,” Phoenix put on a fresh shirt and stuck the contents of her pockets into her bag. She paused for a moment; a small frown briefly crossed her face. “I think.”

Halo laughed, and Phoenix grinned at her amusement.

“Well, let’s not keep them waiting then,” Halo clapped a hand on phoenix’s shoulder before leading her towards the exit.

----------

The room was a mess. Bottles of nail polish littered the floor. Popcorn was all over the couch and carpet. The watermelon had leaked off their plates and onto the coffee table.

Fritz was draped face down across the back of the couch, sound asleep and snoring lightly. Bob was on the seat of the couch, laying on his back with his eyes closed. He wasn’t quite asleep, but he was getting close.

Bob was jerked out of his light daze by the buzzing of his phone. He checked the screen to see a message from Phoenix letting him know that she and Halo were on their way home. He blinked slowly, gathering his bearings as he surveyed the mess.

“Fritz, hey,” he nudged Fritz lightly. The man didn’t stir. Bob nudged him harder, with no response. Finally, Bob gave him a quick jab in the side.

Fritz awoke with a snort and a jerk, and promptly fell off the back of the couch with a yelp.

“Sorry,” Bob cringed, peering off the back of the couch to where Fritz now lay.

“What the hell,” Fritz shot Bob a little bit of a glare.

“Again, sorry man,” Bob climbed off the couch to help Fritz to his feet, “I got a text from Phoenix. They’re on their way home now, and the place is kind of a mess.”

Fritz looked around the room and sighed.

“ouf, yeah. We have a lot of cleaning to do…” He ran a hand through his hair, “How long we have till they get back?”

“About ten minutes, I think.”

“Shoot,” Fritz hopped the couch and started to pick up the nail polish bottles, “there’s a vacuum in the closet,” he paused, and his shoulders fell for a moment, “Damn, we have to really bust our asses if we don’t want Halo’s wrath.”

Bob nodded and booked it to the closet, retrieving said vacuum. Fritz finished with the nail polish and moved on to the sticky coffee table.

They were both acutely aware of the ticking clock, and time was not on their side.

----------

Phoenix pulled the car into the parking space and put it into park. She and Halo got out, but they left their dirty gear in the car. They agreed that Phoenix would take it all home to clean it, as she had a better setup to get the paint out.

They made their way up the stairs to the apartment door, discussing various things that had happened in their lives. Typical friend talk.

Halo retrieved her keys but hesitated when she stuck them in the lock.

“Do you want to make a bet as to how it looks in there?”

“Nah,” Phoenix shrugged, “the outcome is too unpredictable. I don’t want to lose my share of the prize money this quickly.”

“Fair enough.”

Halo turned the key and pushed the door open.

The sight that greeted them was surprising, to say the least.

The apartment was spotless. Cleaner than when they left, in fact. Bob looked up at them from his spot on the couch, book in hand. Fritz paused the game he was playing and turned his attention to the women.

“Phoenix.”

“Halo!”

Both men spoke up at the same time.

“How was your girls night?” Bob asked, putting down his book and making his way over to Phoenix for a hug. He didn’t notice as Phoenix winced when he accidentally pressed on bruise.

“It was nice,” She replied, lightly pulling away to hold Bob at arm's length.

Meanwhile, Halo made her way over to Fritz, giving him a fist bump as he returned to his game.

“Nice to see you guys didn’t burn the house down while we were out,” She observed.

“You have so little faith in me,” Fritz scoffed, feigning offense.

“Uh huh,” Halo gave him a light smack on the back of the head. Fritz grinned.

“What did you guys do, anyways?” She asked them both, curious as to how the house stayed so clean.

“Hung out.”

“Chilled.”

“Just guy stuff, you know?”

“Bob read, mostly.”

Bob and Fritz took turns, shooting vague activities off like fireworks.

Halo realized she wasn’t going to get a straight answer out of them, but as long as everything was in one piece she was fine with that.

“What did you guys do?” Bob piped up, curious.

Phoenix and Halo shared a look.

“Sorry Bob, but what happens during a ladies night stays with the ladies,” Halo said as Phoenix shot Bob an apologetic look.

“Fair enough,” Bob shrugged.

Phoenix checked her watch and frowned.

“Shoot, it’s getting late. Bob, we gotta go now, sorry,” she said as she ushered him towards the door. They exchanged their goodbyes, and then they were heading out to the car.

Halfway home, Phoenix looked over to Bob.

“You guys made a mess of the place, didn’t you.”

“Yeah,” Bob fidgeted with his pant leg, “Yeah it got out of hand.”

He paused, and then looked at Phoenix.

“But you should see Fritz when he panic cleans. The man is freaky efficient, and fast. It was kinda scary actually.”

Phoenix laughed so hard she almost started crying, and Bob chuckled at her amusement.

It was a good night. They would have to do this again some time.

[rae-gar-targaryen]

Today I’m thinking about the girl I was assigned roommates with my freshman year of college. She’s a fraternal twin, and it was one of the first and only things she would tell you about her as an ice-breaker. I think we were paired up because we had similar sleeping habits and (surprisingly) similar music taste.

She was beautiful. Thin. Amiable. Went out most weekends. Perfectly nice and well-liked. Her side of the room was minimalist -- next to no decoration, save for on-trend clothes strewn on her bed (and sometimes on mine), and an overflowing makeup bag as the only item on her desk, other than her laptop. 

My side of the room was overflowing with books. I dyed my own bedsheets to be vibrant and floral colors with my mom before leaving home. I tacked up posters and pictures on my side of the room, and my desk was piled high with my textbooks, my journals, the books I was reading, and my straightening iron.

We listened to music together while we got ready in the morning. To Passion Pit, she agonized over every last detail of her outfit before heading off to her nursing classes, while I struggled to find the appropriate plaid shirt/graphic tee combination for my daily trek to the other end of campus, to the run-down journalism building at the end of a tree-lined street. 

We would sometimes talk late into the night. 

I learned that she would critique my taste in books to her friends (and her friends back home via Facebook chat). Even if she hadn’t read them. I had a pair of coca cola logo patterned sleep shorts that I wore sometimes when it was hot. And whenever she would chat with a guy-friend from back home, he would comment on them. If I was in the room when they chatted, he’d greet me too, with a nice smile and a, “Hey, Coca-Cola!” 

I learned later that she told him not to flirt with me, and that I was a “freak.” She would say similar things to the other girls in our dorm. 

Midway through our first semester, she had this...I don’t know if I would call it a breakdown. She was homesick. She was unhappy and stressed in her classes. She felt like no one was listening to her when she was trying to express her unhappiness, and that she didn’t belong. I empathized with her. I felt the same. Don’t we all at 18? But I felt very assured that I was in the right place for me. I stayed up with her that night, made her tea in our dorm room kettle. I put my arm around her and let her cry on my shoulder.

I took out one of my journals and read her one of my essays, and one of my poems. I felt like in my other life before this one, I had expressed exactly what she was feeling in that moment. Different time. Different place. She didn’t give much away at the time, other than to commend my writing. To tell me she thought it was apt to her situation. That she was thankful. I encouraged her to find a different major that actually spoke to her interests, and would maybe come with a more manageable workload. I offered to let her have the room to herself on Sundays for longer so she could video call with her family. 

Things got easier and easier with us all the time. I never admitted to her that I knew what she had said about me. I didn’t see the point.

Flash forward to the next semester. She was waiting for me in our room one afternoon when I’d had a cancelled class. She told me she was sorry. When I asked “for what,” she revealed that she had gone through my journal -- and the other ones like it in my desk drawer. She’d told me that I was a good writer. As if that made it better. She wanted to read more of what I’d written because it had made her feel better. As if THAT made it better. Never mind that there were years’ worth of personal entries about my own struggles with myself. With the people in my life -- most she didn’t know. But a few she now did. With how I’d learned that she (and other girls in our dorm) had said nasty shit about me behind my back. 

Poems about heartbreak (of course). Attempts at writing songs (terrible, really). Half-finished ideas and thoughts that manifested themselves as adjective-heavy imagery when other words wouldn’t do the trick. (Nonsensical). 

She said she’d known it was a fucked up thing to do. But that she was sorry. Incidentally, her family was in town visiting that week, and chose that moment to arrive to pick her up. They came back and later thanked me for helping her through her moments of homesickness. That she had told them all about my journals. And “wow, she says you’re such a thoughtful person and good writer.”

We finished out the year, and I listened to her when she needed someone. But I never felt like I should offer to share myself with her again. She got better and better as time went on, and changed her major to psychology. She found her stride and started going to parties again. Was back to being how I knew her. 

To this day, I don’t know how to feel about her. About our time living together. I think sometimes about how we would cry together. About how someone so beautiful could feel the same as I did -- like they didn’t have a place where they were. And how we tried to make it better for the other. We haven’t spoken in years. But I remember ourselves as vulnerable 18-year-olds who bonded over obscure bands and fear of the unknown .... and little else. Those memories and people have their place in how you’re shaped. I’m sure of it. For some reason, she crossed my mind today. I hope she’s well. And that she learned how to speak less of others when she thought they couldn’t hear it. I still have all the journals.

[fandom-imagines-stories]

Worth the World

Spike x Reader

Words: 2459

Summary: On a particularly bad day, the reader can barely bring herself to get out of bed. Spike does his best to comfort his girlfriend without being overbearing. 

Notes: This is inspired by one of my favorite fics ever by @suckmysupernatural. I got this idea when having a depressive episode myself, so I hope you guys enjoy a little comfort fic with one of my favorite vamps. Plus, I’ve never written for Spike before and since I’m getting back into Buffy, I thought this would be the perfect time. (Also, this is entirely based on my own experience, so it might not be everyone’s experience with this kind of thing {but please be nice, I just used a few of the things I felt so it’s all based on my own emotions and insecurities!}) Enjoy!

Warnings: Depression, self-loathing, anxiety (This imagine was really just a way for me to put down my emotions and write something comforting, but I hope you all like it too)

-

You didn’t want to move. You weren’t really sure if you could. Your limbs just felt… heavy. Forcing your legs to move, you slowly swung them over the side of the bed, using all the strength you could muster to sit up straight. 

It wasn’t that something terrible had happened. In fact, the day before had gone pretty well. You’d spent most of it watching movies with Willow and Buffy and, when the sunset, you went on a long evening walk with your boyfriend. There were no deadly forces plotting world domination, no vengeful vamps after you or your friends. Hell, your favorite restaurant was open and you brought home leftovers for breakfast. 

Now, the idea of eating made your stomach turn. You managed to shuffle your way to the kitchen of your apartment, but just stood in front of the counter, leaning on the marble top for support. Just standing there felt like it took every ounce of energy you had. It was almost painful, tears pricking the corners of your eyes. You did your best to keep them from falling. You had places to be today, meeting up with the gang and  you didn’t want to worry them with your moping. 

With slow steps, you made your way back to your room to get dressed. Of course, most of your clothes were dirty and you didn’t care enough to wash them. So you threw a sweatshirt over your pajama top and put on some shoes, hoping no one would ask about it. You caught your reflection and felt that dark, empty feeling in your chest grow. Pathetic. Your shoulders sagged forward and you blinked away more tears as you watched them well in your eyes. You didn’t have the right to feel like this. How much had Buffy been through and she still greeted every day with a smile. Everything was perfect and yet you were pathetic enough to still want to crawl back into bed. You just hoped that you would feel better by the time you saw everyone. Especially Spike. 

-

You sat with your legs pulled up to your chest. Xander and Willow were debating whether or not using wooden bullets would be a good vamp killer. Buffy was listening in amusement and Giles just looked exasperated, distracting himself by putting books back in their proper place on the shelves. No one said anything about your pajamas. You actually felt kind of invisible, like no one even really knew you were there. It made the empty feeling that much worse. 

“What do you think, Y/N?” 

“Xander, don’t you think that’s a little insensitive?”

“What? It’s not like we’re planning on dusting her boyfriend. Even if he is annoying and evil and-”

“Xander.” Willow said sternly. When you looked up, everyone’s eyes were on you. 

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t really paying attention.” Your voice held little to no emotion. You were almost too exhausted to feel anything. You just felt hollow. 

“If I shot Spike with a wooden bullet do you think he would, you know,” Xander made a motion with his hands that was meant to simulate a vampire dying. “Just theoretically, of course.” 

Everyone was expecting a witty remark. You and Xander were close and teased each other often, especially about your relationship with Spike. Instead, you just shrugged, your eyes fixating on a spot on the table. 

“Maybe.” 

The group collectively exchanged a look of concern, but didn’t press anything. After all, what reason could there be for you to be upset? They knew that if something had happened with Spike, you would tell them and there weren’t any recent deaths to worry about, so they continued on with their playful conversations about breaking curses and some movie that they had watched recently. It felt like you were intruding- like an unwanted bystander that everyone wished would just disappear. While no one had said anything like that, the thoughts filled your head nonetheless. 

This wasn’t the first time something like this had happened, but you’d never told them. An episode like this hadn’t happened in months so you had hoped they had stopped. Some days you were as happy as you ever had been, but others you felt like a burden. Worthless and pathetic- pitying yourself for no reason at all. 

Spike didn’t even know, even after almost a year of dating. You never dreamed of telling him. Spike was always saying that you were the strong one. You were the one that helped him through every day of his endless living. He got his soul for you. What would he say if he saw you like this? If he knew the doubts and loathing going through your head. He would know that you’re weak and vulnerable and you didn’t want that to happen. 

So you didn’t tell them. You kept all of your thoughts inside of you as they ate away at your mind. On the outside, you just looked tired. Everyone knew that you stayed awake into the late hours because of Spike, so you hoped that’s what they would think. You were tired, but it wasn’t from lack of sleep. It was like your body just wanted to give up. Maybe if you could just wake yourself up, everything would go back to normal. 

Buffy and Willow went out for coffee, so you went with them, hoping the caffeine would be enough to shake you out of this. Instead, it just made you more jumpy and anxious. The cup shook in your hand, but you kept drinking, still hoping that it would give you enough energy to fake it. This, like your out-of-it demeanor, did not go unnoticed. 

“Hey, are you feeling okay?” Buffy asked, suddenly stopping her conversation with Willow about shoes. At first, you didn’t realize she was talking to you. You were so focused on the thoughts swarming around in your head, you hadn’t noticed they were both looking at you with concern. 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” 

“Because you’ve been spacing out all morning. What’s going on?” 

“I guess I’m just tired.” You shrugged, grimacing from the effort the small movement took. 

“Are you sure? Did Spike do something stupid, because you know I’ll-”

“Really, Buffy, I’m okay. I think I just need to go home and rest for a while.” You finished the rest of the coffee, feeling your heart beat faster as the anxiety built up in your chest. “I’ll see you guys later, okay?” 

“Okay.” Buffy gave you a skeptical glance and Willow smiled sincerely.

“Feel better, Y/N.” 

“I’ll see you guys later.” You faked the best smile you could before turning away from them. 

“Is she going to be okay?” Willow wondered, watching the way you nervously messed with the hem of your shirt as you walked. Buffy narrowed her eyes and grabbed her bag. 

“I don’t know, but if she won’t talk to us about it, there’s one person she will.” 

“Oh do we have to go there? You know that place gives me the creeps.” Willow whined. Buffy just gave her a look and the two trekked off in search of your sun-hating boyfriend. 

-

You stood in the middle of your living room as the tears slowly started to pour down your cheeks. The coffee must have given you enough energy to cry and now you couldn’t stop. You couldn’t speak, you couldn’t move, you just stood, frozen by the overwhelming emptiness inside you. Pathetic. Useless. Worthless. Everything was swirling around your head, breaking you down further until you had to lean against the window sill to stay standing. 

You could faintly hear something outside your door, but you made no motion to open it. It sounded far away, or maybe you were just blocking it out. All you could hear was your heart pounding, along with the hundreds of doubts rattling in your head. It was until the door burst open that you flinched. 

“First, the slayer comes banging on my crypt, telling me that something’s wrong and then you leave me to break down your door- if I could die, you would have scared me to death. Why didn’t you open the door?” Spike huffed in frustration. You didn’t turn around. Frankly, you hardly noticed he was there. His irritation quickly faded, replaced by worry. “Y/N, love, what is it?” 

You still didn’t respond, keeping your back turned with your hands clinging to the window sill to keep from falling. Spike approached you slowly and you thought you heard his footsteps, but part of you thought you were just imagining him. Why would he come for you? It was the middle of the day and the sun was high in the sky. A rush of guilt washed over you. He came here despite the danger of being burned and you didn’t even have a reason. You’d put him at risk for your own pitiful problems. 

“Darling, why won’t you look at me?” He took another step towards you, but stopped. The sun’s rays created a shield around you, preventing him from pulling you into his arms. “If you could just lower the blinds, that would make this far less awkward.” 

“You d-didn’t need to come here. T-the sun.” You stammered. You wanted to reach for the curtains, but you still couldn’t move your arms without your legs giving out. 

“A little sunlight isn’t going to stop from me from getting to you,” he said sincerely. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him rush to the window, the sound of his skin sizzling in the light made you let go of the ledge. Your legs buckled just as he got the curtains closed. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” You had hurt him. All you had to do was reach up and shut out the sunlight and you couldn’t even do that. He burned himself just to reach you. 

“It’s alright. I’ve got you. It’s alright.” He held you up for a moment before sinking to the floor to hold you in his lap. “I’ve got you love, I’ve got you.” 

“Y-you shouldn’t be here, Spike. I’m not-” You hid your face from his view so he would see the tears. “I’m not worth all of this. There’s something wrong with me. One minute I’m fine and the next I’m like this and I don’t even know why. I don’t have a reason to feel like this. It’s like I’m… broken or something.” 

“You aren’t broken.” Spike said softly, tucking your head under his chin and gently rocking you back and forth. “You’re human.” 

He held you like that for a long while, not saying anything or even moving off of the floor. He didn’t make you look at him until he was sure you had relaxed enough. Putting a finger under your chin, he gently lifted your face to meet his. 

“I’m sorry about all this.” You sniffed, using your sleeve to wipe some of the dampness off your cheeks. 

“I don’t want to hear those worse from you for the rest of the day.” Spike gave you a small smile and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “I would trek across deserts wrapped in a blanket if it meant being here with you. Every second is worth it.” Now, he lowered his lips down to yours for a slow, sweet kiss. When he pulled back, his eyes were shining with the soul of a man in love. “To me, love, you’re worth the world.” 

You stared into his eyes and knew that he meant every single word. While it didn’t chase away your doubts or the empty feeling in your chest, it helped you see that this feeling would end. And for now, that was enough. 

“I love you.” You whispered, pulling him closer. He kissed the top of your head. 

“I love you too, darling.” He hooked his arm under your knees and stood, holding you against his chest. “Now, why don’t I get you something to eat and we can spend the day in bed?” He wiggled his eyebrows. “I’ll behave, I promise.”

“Spike.” You laughed lightly. 

“There,” He beamed, “I knew I could get a smile.” 

He carried you into your room and placed you on your usual side of the bed, laying your fluffiest blanket over top of you. Then he vanished into your kitchen, the sound of your cupboards opening and shutting reminding you that he had no idea where anything was. It almost made you smile. He came back in with a bowl of your favorite cereal, a class of milk, and a thin leather bound journal. 

“What’s that?” You wondered as he climbed into the bed beside you. He handed you the cereal and milk and put his arm around you, pulling you close. 

“Eat your cereal.” He ordered teasingly, opening up to the first page. You tried to look over his shoulder, but he pulled the book away, laughing. “Do you want me to read or not?” 

“What is it?” Your curiosity made your tone amused and playful. You were starting to sound like you again. 

“Well, ever since I got this pesky soul back, I’ve had an unbearable amount of feelings running about in my head, so I figured I could at least put them to good use.” 

“Spike, are they…?” You perked up with excitement. He smiled sheepishly. 

“Poems.” He looked down at seemingly endless pages of his writings and back at you. “They’re mostly about you, of course. I thought, maybe, you’d like to hear them. See if they’d make you feel a little better.” You were almost too awestruck to nod. 

“I’d really like that.” 

With your cereal in hand, you curled up beside him, laying your head back against his shoulder. He read softly and slowly, his gentleness with his words almost lulling you to sleep. The poems were beautiful, forcing you to stay awake if only to hear one more word. Spike felt you relaxed against him as he read and paused his reading to kiss your forehead, then your cheek, and lastly your lips. 

You felt the emptiness for a few more days, but each day, he was by your side, making sure you ate and gave yourself time to breathe. By the time you started to feel normal again, he’d read most of his poems and continued to write more and you were able to go for your evening walks without feeling exhausted. Your friends were more than supportive and helped you through it all while still giving you the space you needed. 

It wasn’t the last time an episode like this happened, but now you always knew that, no matter what, you’d never be alone.

-

General Tag: @rae-gar-targaryen; @takemepedropascal; @childhood-imagination;  @mylovegoesto; @yellowbadgergirl; @itmejado; @suckmyapplejacks; @kendahl0216

[rent-a-bat]

In the end, no

Drabble #5

Promt: #87 “Don't be scared, I’m right here”

Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader

Requested by: Anonymous

A/N: Thank you all who waited to see this one posted! and thanks to the one who requested it, im sorry it took this long but I had a serious case of procrastination. Hope you guys enjoy!

tw: character death

To say you were tired wasn't even close to how you felt.

You were exhausted. Mind, body and everything in between. You had been working nonstop for too long, you were starting to burn out. But as things started to ease out, you finally had time to relax. Today was the first time you'll be going home early and you no longer had to be the first one in the office to begin the day, which meant you'll finally enjoy your free time.

The trek from work to your home was long enough to allow you to list all the things you've stopped doing so far.

You haven't watched your favorite show, too tired at night to even look for it. You haven't read your book, started since the beginning of the year, and six months later still not even half finished. You haven't felt your bed, your body too tired to even feel how comfortable it was before sleeping. You haven't enjoyed your home, barely basked in its warmth and felt its love.

You haven't seen him.

That's what you missed the most. You would arrive too late to see him off before patrol, and your work was too early to say goodbye in the morning when he just came back.

A hand on your shoulder took you out of your trance. You jumped, your mind still somewhere in your thoughts. Your first reaction was to move away, but that only made them hold you closer, their grip on you too strong to break. Before you could panic, a laugh behind you made you react.

“Jason!” You shouted, getting out of his grasp as relief washed over you.

He smiled, clearly amused at your reaction.

“Hello, y/n.” His lips warmed you as he kissed your forehead. You rolled your eyes, not letting him get away with it.

Your fist collided with his arm as you scolded him. “Don't do that again.”

He laughed, holding you once more. Your body relaxing almost instantly.

“I won't do it again… maybe.”

“Hmm.” You answered, your arms circling his waist, pressing yourself more to him. It was an awkward position to walk, but you didn't care, it's been ages since you've been like this, and you weren't passing on the opportunity.

You walked for a few blocks in silence, taking your usual shortcut through the alley, Jason's presence enough to make you feel safe even in Gotham, before you talked again. “Hey, Jay?”

He made a questioning sound. “What?”

“Dick called.” You braced yourself for his reaction. Seeing as he was waiting for you to continue, you did. “He wants us to come for dinner tomorrow night.”

“He does now.” was his answer. You pushed yourself away to look at him, not leaving his arms.

“Yeah. He said, and I quote, ‘He misses his baby bird and wants to see him now that he's in town’” You said, your smile growing with his reaction.

He huffed, shaking his head, looking up at your building.

“Come on. Let's go for a little while and then we leave.” You tried to plead as you went inside.

“Are you sure?” He asked, already walking up the stairs, you followed him behind as he took the lead.

“Yeah. Besides, I like Dick.” He brushed against the walls as he turned to look at you, the hallway to your apartment barely wide enough for the two.

“Of course you do.” He gave you a smile that made you think he wasn't talking about his brother.

You turned away, not wanting to let him see you blush. ”And..., I want to say hi to Alfred”

You stopped at the open door, Jason moving aside to let you go first.

“I’ll think about it.” He finally said, your smile widening at his answer. With a kiss on his cheek you let the door close as you both were finally home.

Tomorrow came faster than you thought.

It was a nice dinner, even if Jason would rather eat his words than accept it.

You arrived at quarter past six, 15 minutes before you agreed, the nerves not letting you stay calm. Dick was already there before you could even knock, Alfred waiting by the door, as he came forward to hug you. You returned it just as earnestly, it had been a while since you last saw him and he definitely was your favorite of the brothers. Letting you go with a smile, he took you to the dining room, taking Jason with him by the shoulder in a half hug. Fighting to hold back your laughter, you followed, hugging Alfred as you passed him.

It was a surprise once you arrived, not expecting Bruce or Tim to be there as well, the two of them receiving you just as warmly.

Everything was great. Once in a while you would sneak a glance at Jason, the way he smiled and how he laughed told you he too liked these little moments with his family, when everything is simple, easy, and you loved seeing him like this, your heart a little warmer at the thought.

Bruce and Tim left after dinner, not waiting for dessert, saying they had business to attend to. Dick followed not long after, asking Jason to go with him. Which left you alone with Alfred, the two of you chatting over a cup of tea before cleaning up.

You helped Alfred wash the dishes and clear out the dinner before heading down to the cave.

You could hear a fight going on as you made your way down, shouts getting louder the closer you got. Jason was pacing as he talked, screamed, at Dick who remained silent, arms crossed while he looked at Jason, his troubled expression the only sign of his emotions.

"How's everything going, guys?" You asked as soon as you stepped out of the elevator, brow raised knowingly at them.

“It's going great” Jason's smile as he came towards you showing it was anything but. “Come on y/n, we're leaving”

“Jay, please, just think about it.”

“I said, no, Dick.” Jason said, taking your hand as he walked towards the elevator.

“What is he talking about?” you asked, pulling back to stop him.

“Nothing.” His answer was short, not looking at you.

"How is it nothing? I wouldn't ask you, beg you, if it were nothing." Dick sighed, pulling at his hair as he looked down, almost defeated.

"What is it?" You asked Dick, his head shooting up to look at you.

"It's this case we've been working on..."

"Don't tell her! She does-"

"No," You cut him off, "I want to know. What is it Dick?"

He shot a glance at Jason before he answered.

"We've been tracking an organization that's been involved in drugs for the most part, but as of lately, they've moved to weapons and human trafficking." He shook his head. "Guess they found a better way to make money."

"Those bastards." Jason said under his breath, huffing behind you.

"We've been following them in Gotham and Bludhaven for a while, but never got to the source." He looked at Jason, "that is, until Jason's last report."

You suck a breath. If they found the source then it means they could take them down forever. They could free not only Gotham and Bludhaven, but any other place they could have a base.

"We are going to the location. Take them by surprise, before they leave." Dick finished, crossing his arms.

You grabbed Jason's hand, feeling the heat of his body behind you. This was big, too important to let it pass and he knew too.

“When are they leaving?” you asked Dick, ignoring the look Jason was surely giving you.

“Right now.” he grimaced, “Bruce and Tim just left, they are on their way to the airport.”

You looked back at Jason, his eyes already on you. You could tell what he was thinking, you just got your time back, and now he was leaving, but you could also tell how much he wanted to help. That's why you knew what to say next.

“You should go, Jason.” The surprise on his face as you answered was one for the books.

“Y/n…” He began to say, still confused. You smiled in reassurance, taking his hand in yours.

“Even I know this is your best chance at getting them.” you squeezed his hand. “So, go.”

He stared at you for a while before he asked, “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. Go.” You patted his arm, giving him a little push towards his bike.

He stumbled back a few steps, his eyes never leaving you. He looked like a kicked puppy, and you couldn't help laughing a little.

“I’ll be fine , Jason." You fought for your smile to reach your eyes. "I'll be here when you get back."

“Okay.” was all he said after a long pause, barely a whisper, his eyes never leaving yours until he moved. He got into his bike, sending a quick message to Bruce to tell them he was going.

"I love you." He said before putting on the helmet, starting his bike before he left.

The sound of the engine almost covering your answer. "I love you too."

You watched him leave with Dick at your side, the cave suddenly too quiet for the two of you. Now that he had left you couldn't hold onto the smile anymore. You sighed, rubbing at your eyes to keep the tears threatening to come out at bay.

You paced the cave for a while, not wanting to stay still, too afraid of what would happen if you did until you finally stopped, letting your mind do the pacing.

You felt Dick at your side a moment after, his hand rubbing your shoulder to comfort you.

“Don't worry y/n. I'll stay here to monitor if there's any movement in Gotham”, his hand on you a comfortable weight, “I’ll also be in contact with them 24/7. If anything happens, you'll be the first to know.”

You sighed again, something you've been doing lately, tension leaving your body at his words. At least there'll be someone taking care of him.

“Thank you, Dick.” He flashed you a smile, offering his arm to you

“No problem. Come on, I'll take you home.” You smiled in response, taking his arm in yours.

Like that, hours became days, days became weeks, and before you knew it, 2 months had passed. Two months since he left. Two months since you've been alone. No. You weren't alone, he was still out there, working hard, saving people, and yet, you couldn't help feeling that way.

Dick was true to his word, letting you know everything as it happened, day by day, he would call to update you on the mission. Even when there was nothing to report he'd still call you, sometimes to talk, sometimes to listen, you knew he was trying to cheer you up, and you were grateful for that.

Other days you would go to the mansion, spending time with Alfred, letting him guide you through the mansion, telling you stories about Jason and the rest when they were young or chatting through a cup of tea, and with Dick down in the cave, as the two of you checked on them, how they were doing, if they were okay. It had become sort of a routine as you waited.

You were making your way home when your phone went off, your boss sending you home earlier and giving you the next day free after spending the last weeks working overtime, threatening to fire you if you came back without resting. You checked the id before answering, smiling when Dick's name showed on the screen.

"Hey Dick! How’s everything going?" You answered cheerfully, your good mood coming out.

"Hey y/n"

"I just saw Bruce giving an interview. Why didn't you tell me they were back?"

"Y/n…"

“And why hasn't my boy called to tell me? I swear if he tries another of his surprises…” you stopped mid sentence, Dick unusually quiet for a call like this. Anxiety building up inside you before you asked, ” Hey… what is it Dick?”

"Y/n…"

"What?"

"Is Jason.."

"What happened?" you said, dread gnawing on your insides

"I think it'll be better if you come to the mansion."

"I don't see how going there would be any different from telling me now."

“…” His silence became unbearable, your patience thinning with every second that passed.

The last of it breaking as you shouted, "Dick! Tell me!", worry more than clear in your voice.

He heaved a sigh before speaking. "They managed to get most of the men, but their leader managed to escape. He and another guy got into a plane and Jason followed them."

You breathed in sharply.

"He got onto the plane. It was loaded with weapons, mostly explosives. It took off before they could go with him"

No.

"A fight broke and there was a shooting"

No.

“A missing bullet must've hit one of those crates and” he took a deep breath, “the plane exploded.”

No!

"It fell into the sea"

You held onto the wall, your legs giving out, making you slide down to the floor

"Where is he?"

"They've been looking all through the ocean nonstop. So far, they've found two bodies. They’re still looking for hi.., him."

“Don't you have a way of knowing this!? A signal, something?” You were shouting, not caring for the looks people were giving you as they passed.

"The tracker was on his helmet, we believe it got destroyed in the explosion, that's why they haven't been able to find him yet."

It couldn't be. This isn't happening. Not- not again. Not to him.

“Y/n-”

“I'm going there” you cut him out, ending the call.

The next thing felt like a blur, each of his words ringing over and over inside your mind.

The plane exploded.

They are still looking for him.

There's still a chance.

You took a cab to the mansion, barely paying attention to the ride. You jumped out once you reached Wayne Manor, running as fast as you could to the entrance, Alfred already there before you could reach the door, so you went straight down to the cave, Dick waiting for you at the elevator.

“Hey y/n…”

“Please Dick. Tell me it isn't true” you shook him by the shoulders, trying to to stop yourself from crying. “Please tell me it isn't”, eyes burning as you pleaded

“I wish it was” he grabbed your wrists, rubbing circles, trying to comfort you as much as he could.

You shook your head, casting down your eyes, not wanting to see the truth you'd find in his. You didn't want to believe it.

“Please, please please please….” You could feel yourself falling down, your legs no longer holding you for a second time this day.

Dick hugged you, keeping you from reaching the floor. “I'm sorry y/n”

“No!” Tears blurred your vision. Your arms rounding his neck as you hug him back, his hold on you tightening.

It was your fault.

Maybe if you hadn't told him. If you had stopped him before he left, maybe then he'd still be here, still with you. Still alive.

No.

You wouldn't have changed a thing.

You knew Jason, you knew he thought the same. He wanted to help, that's all he's ever wanted. To give a meaning to his actions. He wanted to help those in need, to be useful, to be good. That's why he went, your words only helping to ease the worry of leaving you alone. That's why you said it, and you'd never regret it, and neither would he.

It wasn't your fault.

A sound from behind made you look back. Batman turned from the computer, taking a few steps before removing his cowl. He looked tired, defeated. So different from the looks he had for the cameras not long ago.

You ignored the way he looked, anger rising like a fire making you move away from Dick.

“It was you!” You shouted across the cave. Tears sliding down your cheeks as you made your way to Bruce

“You did this!” you hit him on the chest, your fists colliding with his armor. His face was tired, eyes filled with sadness. He had failed him again.

“You had to look out for him!” Another punch.

“You had to save him!” you said through your tears, your fists losing force.

“Why didn't you save him?” you finally sobed, pressing your forehead against him. The fire burning away, leaving only ashes, your body suddenly cold.

“I’m sorry” was all he said as he held your shaking body while you cried. His warmth and the feel of his arms on your back a comfort around you, but not the one you wanted, the one you may never have again.

You stayed at the mansion after that. Once you had calmed down Dick took you to one of the rooms, giving you a little briefing of what was going on. Tim had stayed on the island, looking over the search in case they found him. Meanwhile Bruce tried looking with the satellites, see if any of the old trackers in his body were still active. If what you knew was true, there was no point on doing that. Jason had taken them all out long ago, not wanting any of them keeping checks on him. Still, it was something, better than nothing.

You felt empty, and yet, hope remained in you, like embers of a fire not quite out, waiting for any kind of fuel to light up again.

You stayed for a week before deciding it was time to go back, those days barely spent doing the bare minimum, crying yourself to sleep every night, trying to console yourself as much as you could, after all you only had so much time off work, you still had to live your life, try to move on and wait.

So you did.

You kept working, doing as much to keep your mind from spiraling that way, from staying as far from your apartment as you could. Still your home but one that's grown colder with every passing day. It was hard, sadness and despair threatening to keep you from doing anything every day, and yet you pushed. For him. Moping around was not something he'd like for you, even if he wasn't here, but he could, if they haven't found a body yet you could still hope, you could still wait.

Hope was slipping down like water through your fingers. You tried to hold on to as much as you could, as long as there was even the tiniest possibility, you would, you could still believe he was coming back, coming home, coming to you.

What else was left?

The sound of your phone woke you up. You checked the clock on your stand. Not yet time for you to wake up, and barely one hour sleeping. Another night of tossing around, unable to sleep, the thoughts in your head too loud to let you rest.

You grabbed your phone, the name on the screen no longer making you smile. You sat up, moving your covers aside, letting your feet touch the floor, the coldness of it waking you up.

You took a deep a deep breath, steeling yourself before answering, getting ready for whatever was going to happen.

But nothing in the world could have prepared you for what was going to happen next.

"Hello Dick." You said, breathing deeply through your nose.

"Hello y/n. How are you?"

"What is it?" You ignored his question, going straight to the point. Whatever it was, you could take it.

You could hear Dick pacing around, almost hear the gears in his head trying to think a way of telling you the news

You could take it.

"There's been news on Jason"

You could.

"They found him"

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding, a wave of relief washing over you.

"You did!?" you shouted, "How is he? Is he- ?" You tried to ask everything at once, barely able to contain yourself before he stopped you.

"We don't know, y/n. The body-"

Your heart went still.

"It's been too long. "

The body.

"We are waiting for it to arrive. Run some tests, dental records, DNA.."

Not him.

"Due to his legal status we can't let them know it's him. We have to wait until he's back with us in Gotham"

"You're sure it's him?" you felt yourself asking, no longer connected to your body.

"There was no one else on that plane they hadn't found"

The last ember of hope went off inside you, leaving smoke to fill its place.

"Y/n?"

"I have to go."

"Wait, y/n! Let me come get you-"

"Goodbye Dick."

You ended the call.

Your phone hitting the floor at the same time you did, hugging you legs tight to your chest, tears burning your eyes, wetting your cheeks. The lump in your throat making it hard to swallow.

And just like that, as if a switch had turned inside you.

You screamed.

Screamed with every fiber of your being, your body shaking every time you did. Your tears falling down like rivers you wanted to drown in. You weren't crying, crying meant sadness, sometimes even happiness, an emotion so big it couldn't be contained inside, whose only way out is like that. This was so much more.

It was pain, full, raw, unbounded. It was despair and sadness, all coming out at once. It was your soul breaking, its shards leaving you with every scream, with every tear, making your face wet, your eyes burn, leaving your throat raw and hurting.

You did it until the smoke inside you left, leaving you hollow. You had to calm down, sobbing thickly, your vision blurry with drying tears.

You tried to breath, the air suddenly becoming too thick, making you dizzy. You could feel the walls pressing on you, too tight, too cold.

You were breaking, your chest hurt, like it would collapse any time now, taking your heart with it.

You needed to leave.

You left your apartment, not bothering to take a coat, welcoming the freezing air, letting it's bite bring you alive.

The streets were empty, fitting for the occasion, like they knew you needed to be alone. You closed your eyes, letting your head fall back as you took a deep breath, and began to walk.

You didn't know how long you were out. Walking aimlessly around letting the pain take you whole, your mind no longer there, trying to escape the grief that consumed you.

You felt hollow, empty, and yet, so full at the same time. Full of fear, of sadness, of anger. Jason was gone, and you didn't know how you'll fill the hole he left inside you. You weren't sure you could. You could only hope you'd learn to live with it, learn to ignore the pain and maybe one day, heal. Just not today, right now you would mourn, let everything out, even if there was nothing left inside.

Your feet were hurting, cold biting your skin, making you shiver before you decided to head back home, taking your usual shortcut through the alley.

Your head was still somewhere else, not even stopping to think about the dangers of your actions. It was Gotham after all, and Jason was no longer here to protect you.

By the time you realized what you’d done, it was too late.

With your head down you made your way to your apartment, less of a home now that he was no longer here, hugging yourself tightly, trying to keep the warmth from leaving. The sole of your shoes echoed through the alley with every step, digging into your flesh, making it hard to walk. The sky rumbled in the distance, which meant you had to hurry if you didn't want to get caught in the rain.

A sound ahead of you took you out of your musings, a second pair of steps joining yours making you look up. A man appeared right at the entrance of the alley, hood up and hands tucked inside his pockets, he walked confidently, like the biggest fish in the pond. The faint light of a nearby post lighting up his face, you could see his eyes fixed on you, his mouth turning to a smirk, whistling as he looked at you.

“Hey pretty, what got you out so late at night?”

You lowered back your head, still moving forward.

“I have to say, I wasn't expecting such a beauty to be roaming here when I came to to see who’s coming, but am I glad it is” he kept talking, almost too close now, making you slow down a fraction as you tried to get out.

“Haha, what is it? Cat got your tongue?” you could fill him right in front of you, making you stop before you could collide with him.

“Is it because we're alone? You don't feel comfortable talking with me? Is it the street? Maybe you need to warm up a little, the street is too cold to be out like that. Don’t worry sugar, we can fix that right away.”

You began to panic. One you could take out, outrun him and lose him, but if he was bringing more. You tried to stay calm.

“Hey, boys! Why don’t we help them feel more comfortable.” You raised your head, fear almost taking over at his words.

From the same place the first one came, two other men joined him, each of them flanking you on either side, both just as big, and the three of them smiling, their eyes roaming your body like they could see what's underneath your clothes.

“Leave me alone.” you said, trying to sound as confident as you could.

“Heh, looks like you're not a mute after all.” He laughed, taking a hold of your arm in a vice grip

“Don't touch me.” he laughed again, turning to look at the others, both doing the same.

“Let me go!” you shouted, pulling at your arm, trying to hit him, kick him, anything to get you free.

“Feisty, we're gonna need to fix that. Can't have you misbehaving like that, can we?” He let you go with a push, making you fall to the ground, the three of them laughing down at you.

You shook yourself, wincing as you stood, your left foot probably hurt. Your mind was running a mile per hour, adrenaline pumping through your veins with every breath, trying to come up with a wayout, a way to escape. You tried to look at your surroundings, taking deep breaths to calm you down, nothing good comes out from being anxious.

You were surrounded by residential buildings, maybe you could scream, ask for help, but screaming in Gotham did the opposite, people ignoring it for the sake of remaining safe.

You could bolt it, turn around and run as fast as you could, go back to the street and hopefully they'll avoid going after you. The guy on your left seemed to think the same, his hand going for the gun on his hip.

You could try calling Dick, or Bruce, but something told you he'd shot you the moment you even tried to pull out your cell phone. Maybe they were already on their way, looking for you, seeing how distressed you were by the news, but maybe not, maybe they were trying to give you space, let you sort things out. Alone.

You were trapped.

“Don't worry, we’ll be leaving soon. Ride's almost here.” the man on your right said, his smirk getting wider.

So much for being calm. You began to panic, breaths coming short as the men in front of you laughed, snickering between them, watching you crumble.

The sound of tires screeching behind you had you covering your ears, the echoing almost deafening, freezing you on the spot.

No. Not like this. They can't take you away.

You closed your eyes, as if it could somehow block out the world, make it turn into a dream, a nightmare you would wake up from. The pounding of your heart too loud on your ears to hear anything else, almost missing the presence behind you.

Your body moved on its own, going backwards like you could escape from it. The sound of someone coming closer hitting like a bullet with every step. They walked with confidence, fast, like an animal who had caught its prey, sure they couldn't escape.

You could feel your heart fall as you collided with a body, stopping you from moving any further, making your eyes burn as you tried not to cry, not in front of them. You jumped as he held you, his chest shaking behind you as he laughed.

The way he laughed sent shivers down your spine, the hands on you too hot. Too wrong. He squeezed your shoulders once before you felt the air on your back, freezing you as he moved away, his hands sliding down your arms as he bent down, his face getting closer to your ear.

“Don't be scared” his breath felt hot, making you whimper, no longer able to hold it in, letting your tears fall freely as you cried. Closing your eyes tighter, not letting them open.

You could feel him move in front of you, his face still close, nuzzling your neck as he whispered, “I'm right here.” You let out a sob, the force of it bringing you down.

It had to be a dream, it had to. There was no way this could be real, for he voice that spoke just moments ago was supposed to be dead.

Your love.

Jason.

The men that held you captive went silent. Holding their breaths at the sight of him, the Red Hood. The deadliest vigilante in all of Gotham crouching in front of you.

He raised his hand to brush away your tears, kissing your forehead before he stood up

“Keep your eyes closed.” he said. You let out a huff, only he could sound amused in a situation like this.

The whole thing was over in seconds. The sound of flesh hitting flesh, bones cracking, the smell of gunpowder flooding your nose with each shot fired, all of it filling the silence. One by one, they all went down, their screams stopping as they each fell. Only when the last of the bodies hit the ground were you able to relax. Your eyes still closed for another reason entirely, now wishing it’d be anything but a dream.

How could you live if it turned out to be just that, if you opened your eyes just find yourself back at your apartment, your tears still fresh and Jason still gone, dead once more.

“Y/n.” You heard him call your name, his voice ever so soft, cautious not to scare you.

You heard him shuffle, crouching once more in front of you. His body blocking the cold air of the night.

“Y/n… Look at me.” he held your face like you were precious, delicate, capable of breaking at the slightest movement, the pads of his thumbs brushing your lashes, trying to coax your eyes to open.

You shook your head, feeling tears fall again, the hands on you catching them before they fell to the floor.

“Please.” he pleaded, his voice full of want, of longing, as he whispered the word, his forehead warm against yours as his hands fell to your neck, rubbing your chin and behind your ears trying to get you to open, to see.

You took in a couple of breaths, steeling yourself before opening your eyes, the faint lights blinding you after having them closed for so long.

The moment you could focus on the person in front of you making you sob. The sight of him threatening to make you cry for the third time this night. He looked just like the last time you saw him, a couple of scratches here and there, but the same nonetheless. The same face, the same smile, the same pair eyes full of warmth, full of love as they looked at you.

You raised your hand to his face, slowly, careful, still not believing this was real.

“Is it really you?” you asked, voice shaking as you looked into his eyes.

“It's me.” a faint smile drawing on his face as he answered, placing his hand over yours, keeping it in place.

You cast down down your eyes, head hanging low as you shook it, not sure if shaking away the tears or something else.

His other hand came up, his fingers hooking up under chin, warm and gentle as he made you stop, tilting up your head, guiding you to look at him.

“It's me.” he said again, his eyes filling up with tears as he held your stare.

You grabbed his hand, placing it against you like he did with yours as you let out a laugh, happiness bubbling inside you before exploding, flinging yourself to hug him. Your arms tight around him, trying to bring him as close as you could. The force of your hug almost made him fall back, losing his balance before he recovered, putting his arms around you as he returned the hug just as fiercely, careful not to hurt you.

“It's you.” you said it over and over like a prayer.

You stayed like that for a while, basking in each other's presence, finally together. You weren't sure how much it had passed before you both let go, a thunder rumbling in the distance reminded you of your situation. You had to hurry if you didn't want to get caught in the rain, and yet, none of you made the effort to move.

A thought came to you as you looked at him, a memory of a conversation that now feels from too long ago.

“You promised you wouldn't do it again.” You said, your fist colliding with his arm.

His hand went to the spot you hit, feigning hurt as he laughed. “I said maybe.”

You couldn’t help but laugh too, too happy to stay mad at him. Not when he was here, when this wasn’t a dream.

With that thought you held him again, nuzzling your face to his chest, inhaling his scent, his hands rubbing up and down your back before settling on your waist, drawing you closer to him.

“Thank you for coming back.” you whispered softly, not sure he would hear you.

“Thank you for waiting.” he said in the same way.

You kissed as you both embraced, your arms around his neck, pressing your bodies tight against each other, the warmth between the two enough to ignore the cold as it began to rain.

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[harmonizingsunsets]

Polin Week Day 4: Prompt - Jealousy

Touching A Live Wire

After dragging Colin by the arm through her and Eloise's flat with one hand, Penelope slams the door behind them with the other.

She folds her arms across her chest and looks him in the eye for the first time since they left her work party early. He'd looked apologetic, following her wordlessly to the car and remaining silent during the entire drive to the flat.  

"You have five seconds to apologize."

Colin sighs, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms. "Penelope, this is a misunderstanding."

"Five," she starts counting.

"I didn't mean to say it that loud!"

Penelope's lips curl further in anger. "Four."

"Wait, let me explain why I—."

"Three," she interrupts, tapping her foot loudly on the floor.

Colin tilts his head at her. "Pen, this is ridiculous."

"Two."

"Can't we just sit down and—." Pen opens her mouth, her lips forming the word one, but Colin looks alarmed and puts his hands out to stop her. "Fine, you're right. I'm sorry!"

Penelope breathes in relief. Despite the show she just put on, she didn't know what she would've done if she'd reached one. With Penelope's grade three students, she'd send them to the principal's office or write their names in the infraction book. But, Penelope didn't think those forms of punishment would've worked with Colin.

She moves her hands to her hips, pinning her gaze on him. "Sorry about what?"

"I'm sorry that I got a bit carried away."

"A bit carried away?" Penelope scoffs, causing him to flinch in guilt. "Colin, you yelled at my co-worker, "Penelope is too good for you," and then proceeded to knock over the punch bowl!"

"In my defense, whoever placed it there did a poor job. It was teetering on the edge of the table."

Penelope's jaw clenches. "I placed it on the table."

Colin's eyes go wide, adorably so, which she could appreciate more if she weren't so angry at him.

Well, she still does appreciate it a little. She's human, after all.

"Oh, then it was a lovely job!" Colin exclaims, trying to cover himself. "Perfect placement, angels in heaven would want you to be on punchbowl duty at every party."

"You think angels have parties?"

"No, of course not, but they host them. Can you imagine parties in heaven? Unlimited food, great entertainment, and you could dance with Pablo Picasso and Prince at the same time."

"You really think Picasso and Prince would run in the same social circles in—hey, don't distract me," she interrupts herself, pointing accusingly at him while biting back a grin. "I'm mad at you."

Colin takes a step forward, beginning to smirk. "Then why are you smiling?"

"It's an annoying side effect of being around you," Penelope explains grumpily. "But, I'm still angry."

Colin deflates. "I know. You  should be angry at me." He begins to pace, making Penelope worry that he's going to slip as she and Eloise just polished the floor yesterday. "I was way out of line. I shouldn't have yelled at your co-worker. It was disrespectful."

Penelope exhales, her anger beginning to fade, but confusion still causing her head to ache.

"I don't understand. Why did you yell that at him? And why did you spend the whole evening scowling at him and steering me away from him the entire time?"

Colin doesn't respond, looking down at his shoes. His behavior worries her, as Colin's never been one to avoid telling her something. His eyes are always open, full of honesty and understanding. But lately, they've been clouded.

The clouds are unsettling. Penelope misses the sun's warmth, and she can't take the chill anymore, especially because she doesn't know what prompted the weather change.

"You've been so unlike you the past few weeks," Penelope quickly says before she loses her nerve. "You've been off ever since he started working with me at the beginning of this month."

Colin shifts his feet. "No, I haven't."

"Yes, you have! Whenever I bring him up, you completely shut me out, you've avoided my attempts for you to meet him, and I caught you rolling your eyes when I was talking to him on the phone," she lists, furrowing her eyebrows. "What do you have against him?"

"Nothing."

"Colin, tell me."

He shrugs but with tense shoulders. "There's nothing to tell."

Penelope presses on, taking a step closer. "Obviously, you have something against him."

"No, I don't," he says, taking a step back.

She steps forward, feeling a rook on a chessboard that's slowly advancing on his pawn as he moves it backward one square at a time.

"Be honest."

"I am."

"No, you're not. I know you well enough to know when you're lying."

"Penelope…"

"Please, Colin, just tell me what's really got you so—."

"He's into you!" Colin blurts out.

Penelope freezes, her rook stopping one square before her victory.

Colin grimaces at himself, taking a deep breath as if his words knocked the wind out of him.

"What?"

"He's into you," Colin repeats, his voice quieter than before. "I don't like the way he looks at you. He obviously wants something more than friendship."

Penelope knows she shouldn't, but she laughs. "That's absurd."

Colin's expression drops even further, beginning to frown. "Why is that absurd? "

"Because it's me. Why would he be interested in me?"

"Why wouldn't he be?"

Penelope narrows her eyes at him. "Colin, don't play dumb."

"I'm not. You're the one that's playing dumb."

"Excuse me?"

"Pen, you're intelligent, beautiful, funny, and kind," Colin describes, slowly raising his hands and placing them on her arms. There's something in his eyes as he speaks so vehemently, a gleam that sends a thrill through her body. "You're the perfect package. Who wouldn't want you?"

Something in his words causes her to pause, reassessing the entire evening. Once she does, seeing a supercut of Colin's reactions towards her co-worker and his behavior around the two of them, her mind reaches one conclusion—a conclusion which quickens her heartbeat.

However, it also inspires a newfound sense of motivation to stop tiptoeing at the edge of the cliff she's been on for years.

But, she has to make sure Colin is truly standing on the same cliff as her before jumping.

Penelope swallows nervously. "Alright, let's say you're right and that I'm the perfect package—."

"You are."

"Ok, let's say that I am," Penelope agrees, taking a deep breath before crafting her following words. "So, why shouldn't he like me?"

"It's not that he shouldn't like you because, of course, he should. But—he shouldn't," Colin blabbers, getting a cute crinkle in between his brows as he struggles to explain himself adequately, which only fuels her wonderful but terrifying theory. "Because… he's—that guy is not right for you. "

Penelope inches closer, so her chest brushes against his body. He intakes a sharp breath, and she has to restrain herself from doing the same thing, knowing the gravity of this moment—of getting this exactly right.

"But I'm the perfect package, so I'm perfect for him, right?"

"No—I mean, yes, he'd be lucky to have you. But that doesn't mean you should be with him." His eyes flicker to her chest, and back up at her eyes, and back to his shoes, his face becoming more red with each passing second. "He—he has a horrible laugh, he likes Star Trek over Star Wars, and he took way more than his share of the cheese platter—."

"Those reasons are inconsequential. You know they are."

Colin opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. So, Penelope raises one of her hands, moving up his arm and to his neck.

The path of Penelope's fingertips creates a live wire, causing his skin to brim with electricity everywhere she touches.  But, it doesn't shock her. Instead, she's part of the electrical current and feels a hum of energy in her palm that his touch provides.

"So, there must be another reason you don't want me to be with him," Penelope continues, forcing her voice not to shake. "Right?"

"No," he shakes his head after a few beats.

She bites her lip, trying to hold on to hope. "Really, there's not one reason?"

"Um…no?"

Penelope sighs, dropping her hands from his neck, feeling stupid. How foolish was she to think ahead of herself like this? Clearly, Colin's answer was not what she predicted. Just like always, she got carried away in romantic notions, as she always seemed to, when Colin’s around.

"Ok," she says, clearing her throat. Colin frowns at the sudden distance, but Penelope can't see his expression as she's closing her eyes to try and banish the inclination to cry. "I know, it's been a long day, so let's forget it. I think I should—."

Penelope doesn't get to answer. Because, suddenly, Colin swoops forward, his hands cupping her cheeks and his lips crashing onto hers.

If touching his skin created a live wire, kissing Colin makes a high electricity voltage, one strong enough to power an entire city.

Colin's lips brush against her softly, but there's a desperate edge to it, one akin to the desperation she feels as she clutches the collar of his jacket and pulls him closer.

When Colin breaks apart for a breath, he rests his forehead on hers.

"I was jealous," he whispers.

Penelope pulls her head back a little so that she can meet his eyes. "What?"

"That's why I didn't want you to be with him, because I want you to be with me," Colin confesses, pursing his lips. "I know that's immature. I'm sorry. You should be with whoever you want to be with, even if it's not me. It's my fault that I was too much of a coward until—Ow!" He abruptly yelps, looking down at his arm, which Penelope just pinched. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," Penelope ducks her head, the corners of her lips twitching into a smile. "I was just checking to make sure you weren't an illusion."

Colin smiles in the incandescent way that made Penelope fall in love with him in the first place. He tips her chin up, forcing her to meet his bright eyes filled with an emotion that wraps around her heart and squeezes it.

"I'm real, I'm very much real," Colin assures, his thumb skimming her cheek. "I'll prove it to you."

He closes the distance between them again. But, Penelope is the one to deepen the kiss. She feels a wave of heat run through her at Colin's moan. Also, she experiences a surge of confidence, proud that she was the one to elicit such a glorious sound.

Penelope wraps her arms around her neck, finding it slightly annoying that he's so tall, as she has to lean up on her toes to kiss him. Colin must sense her struggle, quickly amending the issue by swiftly raising her into the air.

But, as her legs sweep up as she's taken into his arms, she accidentally kicks the bowl that holds her and Eloise's apartment keys off of the table.

It crashes loudly onto the floor, the ceramic breaking into multiple tiny pieces.

Colin and Penelope's lips break from each other's, looking down at the mess near her feet. Then, for a moment, neither of them say anything, only staring at the floor.

"Well…at least there was no punch in there this time," Colin says, sidestepping the broken pieces of the bowl.

Penelope laughs, smiling against his lips as she pulls him in for another kiss.

While she has a lot of explaining to do about the dramatic scene the two of them caused when she shows up at work tomorrow and will have to answer Eloise about the broken bowl, she can't find it in herself to care.

When he opens his eyes briefly, looking at her and moving a strand of hair behind her ear, she no longer sees clouds. Instead, she only sees the sun, and she wants to bask in its glow forever.

Penelope knows how idealistic that thought is, but as Colin begins kissing down her neck after moving them to the couch, she thinks it's quite a reasonable notion.

[spencestyles]

Hotch’s Assistant

summary: the one where y/n is Hotch’s new assistant and Spencer is jealous of their “relationship”

pairing: spencer reid x BAU!fem!reader

warnings: none, well, fluff

words: 714

*not my gif*

~~~~~~~~~~

y/n y/l/n was new to the BAU, she was the baby. She had training in the FBI Academy, but she was not the strongest in the field. She was outspoken, often times being completely ignored by the team. Her position on the team consisted of being Hotch's assistant. She made sure he slept and helped him with paperwork.

The team liked y/n, a lot. She was kind, smart, and easy to get along with. y/n quickly became friends with Penelope, JJ, and Emily. She also quickly became a younger sister to Derrick. Rossi and Aaron had become her surrogate dads.

Then there was Spencer Reid.

They were friends. They talked on the jet, sometimes over text, about their common interests. They both liked books and classical music. They both watch Star Trek.

You'd think they'd be best friends, as did y/n and the rest of the team, but something was holding Spencer back. Maybe it was the fact y/n had taken over as youngest member of the BAU, or that y/n often knew the facts he would state also.

Or, maybe it was because of the way y/n's hair flowed over her shoulders. Maybe it was because y/n's eyes made Spencer's knees weak.

Spencer's crush on y/n was obvious to every but y/n. Literally so obvious. Spencer always looked at her, always listened to was she said, and always got jealous when he'd see her and Hotch in his office laughing. Spencer hated how close y/n and Hotch were. He hated how y/n called Hotch Aaron. Everyone called him Hotch, so why does she feel the need to call him Aaron.

"Spencer calm down," Derek said. "Just ask her out to a dinner of Thai food at your house and watch Star Trek then read her a book. It's not hard."

"Why does she look so happy with Hotch?" Spencer asked completely ignoring Derek.

"Don't be jealous man. Hotch is her boss, she literally is with him all the time. She does not leave until he leaves because she can't. She was hired to make sure he was still sleeping." Derek said.

Spencer looked at y/n and decided today was the day he was going to ask her on a date. y/n and Hotch walked out of his office.

"Go home Aaron," y/n said. "Your son misses you and so does your bed. Get some sleep before you are taken away on another case. I can do the extra paperwork, no biggie." y/n gave her boss a hug and walked down to talk to the rest of the team.

"Hey guys" y/n said giggling. The team said their hellos back. "I just wanted to say hi before I am sucked into doing Aaron's work he hasn't been able to complete today. But I really have to go if I want to be back home to watch the new episode of Star Trek." The team gave y/n a hug knowing she would most likely not look their way while she was helping Hotch catch up on work.

When the rest of the team was leaving, Spencer stayed behind to make sure y/n left. Often on nights like these, y/n ended up sleeping in her office after finishing paperwork. Around 8:30 Spencer realized it was almost time for Star Trek to start.

y/n flinched when she heard a knock on her door, "Come in" she said not wanting to be rude.

"It is 8:30 which means Star Trek starts soon and you need to leave" Spencer said in attempts to encourage y/n to leave.

"Spence, I have a lot of work to finish for Aaron" y/n sighed.

"Finish it tomorrow" Spencer suggested. "I'm sure Hotch will understand." y/n nodded knowing her boss would fully understand and began packing her things.

"y/n I was wondering if you wanted to watch the new episode at my house and we could get Thai food or something" Spencer said suddenly.

"Like a date?" y/n asked.

"y/n I really like you and it's okay if you d-" y/n cut Spencer off with a kiss.

"Shut up Spence" y/n smiled. "You are literally the only one who doesn't realize how much I like you. I'd love to go on a date with you."

"So it's a date?" Spencer questioned.

"Yes it is, but only if you are paying."

[kj-1130]

Nothing For Me

Part 7

Main Masterlist

Part 6|Part 8

     You and MJ’s relationship continued to grow as time went on. 

     As she started her first year of high school, you worked on yourself, wanting to be good for her.

     Overtime, you learned how to process and deal with things better. You focused on yourself and your developing relationship with MJ and needless to say, things started to look up. 

     The ‘present but not really present father’ thing didn’t affect you as much as it did, but it was still there. It was one of the only things you hadn’t fully processed and to be honest, you didn’t think you ever could. 

     Your father is there, and has been aware of presence for almost a decade. And not once has he given you any type of consolation or love like a father should. You would think after Pepper was getting more involved in his life and forcing him to clean up (most of) his act, he would open his eyes and realize that a whole human being was living with him, waiting for him to realize that they were supposed to be relying on him; not an AI built in the comfort of their room. 

     But nope. Absolutely nothing changed. If anything, things got worse. 

     He was away more often, focusing on the Avengers. Or he was with Pepper, the new love of his life. 

     You tried not to linger on the situation often, knowing it would only lead to pain in your chest. So you just stuffed it in the back of your mind, hoping one day that the pain would just lessen all together. 

     About two months ago, you and MJ had decided to make things official after going on your first date. At first you talked about how fast the two of you were going, but Michelle simply said ‘we’ll be u-haul lesbians then.’ That was the end of the conversation. 

     Currently, you and your girlfriend were facetiming. You would’ve made the trek to her house but she was about to study and you both knew that you’d distract her. Plus the two of you were due for some time away from each other considering the fact that you’re at her place almost everyday. 

     “Okay, so I found this recipe the other day and I’m just now remembering it.”

     MJ looks at you confused, “Okay?” 

     You roll your eyes playfully.

     “I wanted to try it with you. After my ban from your place has been lifted.” 

     “It’s not a ban,” she chuckled.

     “Well, it sure as hell feels like one ba-”     “Mr. Stark has arrived with a guest,” M.I.A cut you off. 

     “Who is this guest?” 

     “Secretary of State, Thaddues Ross,” the AI replied, pulling up pictures of the man. 

     “Hey M, I’m gonna call you back.”

     “Yeah, yeah,” she nods, looking a little concerned. “Take all the time you need. Let me know if everything’s okay.”

     The two of you give your goodbyes and you ask M.I.A to pull up the live footage from the conference room.

     “Perspective. The world owes the Avengers an un-payable debt. You have fought for us, protected us, risked your lives… but while a great a=many people see you as heroes, there are some who would prefer the word “vigilantes”, is what you first hear when you start watching. 

     Immediately your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

     “And what word would you use, Mr. Secretary?” Natasha asks.

     “How about ‘dangerous’?” he replies. “What would you call a group of US-based, enhanced individuals who routinely ignore sovereign borders and inflict their will wherever they choose and who, frankly, seem unconcerned about what they leave behind?”

     The secretary activates a screen behind him which begins to play the previous battles the Avengers and SHIELD have fought in. 

     “New York.” 

     He clicks a button, footage of chitauri, shooting guns, and Hulk smashing plays. 

     “Washington D.C”

     A new video appears, showing the insight helicarriers firing at each other with chaos following. 

     “Sokovia.” 

     The frame changes, showcasing the terrified citizens that were on the flying piece of land. 

     “Lagos.” 

     “That’s enough,” Steve interrupts. 

     Ross nods in response and begins his speech again. 

     “For the past four years, you’ve operated with unlimited power and no supervision. That’s an arrangement the governments of the world can no longer tolerate. But I think we have a solution.”

     He places a thick document on the table and slides it across to Wanda. As the team slides the book to each other Ross starts talking. 

     “The Sokovia Accords. Approved by 117 countries… it states that the Avengers shall no longer be a private organization. Instead, they’ll operate under the supervision of a United Nations panel, only when and if that panel deems it necessary.” 

     “The Avengers were formed to make the world a safer place,” the Captain begins. “I feel we’ve done that.”

     “Tell me, Captain, do you know where Thor and Banner are right now?” There was a momentary pause as the two men’s eyes met. “If I misplaced a couple of 30 megaton nukes… you can bet there’d be consequences. Compromise. Reassurance. That’s how the world works. Believe me, this is middle ground.”

     At this point, you’re walking out of your room after transfering the feed to your tablet and making your way to the elevator.

     “So, these are contingencies,” Rhodey states. 

     “Three days from now,” Secretary Ross begins. “The UN meets in Vienna to ratify the Accords. Talk it over.” 

     Natasha speaks up, “And if we don’t come to a decision you don’t like?”

     “Then you retire.” 

     The elevator stops and you look up seeing the Secretary walk in with someone behind him. You give him a subtle disgusted look before turning your attention back to the security footage.

     As the deathtrap descends, you can feel his eyes lingering on you. 

     “Can I help you?” 

     “You’re a little young to be an intern.” 

     “You’re a little old to be looking at me like that,” you shrug, swiping away from the video on your tablet as you feel him looking over your shoulder. 

     Ross gives an awkward chuckle and furrows his eyebrows. When you reach the bottom floor, he gets ready to step out and places a hand on your shoulder. 

     You look at him like he’s lost his mind. 

     “You seem like a good kid. Be sure to make good choices.” 

     Raising an eyebrow, you refrain from saying what you want to say. You lift your hand and gently take his off of you. 

     “Don’t touch me,” 

     Once he exits, you hear the chatting start back up.

     “Secretary Ross has a Congressional Medal of Honor,” Rhodes told Sam. “Which is one more than you have. 

     “So let’s say we agree to this thing,” Wilson starts. “How long is it gonna be before they LoJack us like a bunch of common criminals?”

     “117 countries want to sign this. 117, Sam, and you’re just like, ‘No that’s cool. We got it.” 

     “I have an equation,” Vision announces as you get back on the elevator. 

     “Oh this will clear it up,” Sam mutters. 

     “In the eight years since Mr. Stark announced himself as Iron Man, the number of known enhanced persons has grown exponentially. And during the same period, the number of potentially world-ending events has risen at a commensurate rate.“

     “Toaster oven’s got a point there,” you mumble, stepping back on the metal deathtrap. 

     Steve asks,“Are you saying it’s our fault?”

     “I’m saying there may be a causality. Our very strength invites challenge. Challenge incites conflict. And conflict… breeds catastrophe. Oversight… oversight is not an idea that can be dismissed out of hand.” 

     “Boom,” Rhodey says.                             

     You see Tony lying on the couch, quite relaxed, contradicting the tense atmosphere. 

     “Tony,” Nat starts. “You are being uncharacteristically non-hyper-verbal.”

     “It’s because he’s already made up his mind,” Steve explained. 

     “Boy, you know me so well,” Stark starts, getting up and rubbing the back of his head. “Actually I’m nursing an electromagnetic headache,” he pauses to grab a mug of coffee. “That’s what’s going on, Cap. It’s just pain. It’s discomfort. Who’s putting coffee grounds in the disposal? Am I running a bed and breakfast for a biker gang?”

     Tony puts his phone in a basket and taps the screen. An image is projected of a smiling young man. 

     “Oh, that’s Charles Spencer, by the way. He’s a great kid. Computer engineering degree, 3.6 GPA. Had a floor level gig at Intel planned for the fall. But first, he wanted to put a few miles on his soul, before he parked it behind a desk. See the world. Maybe be of service. Charlie didn’t want to go to Vegas or Fort Lauderdale, which is what I would do. He didn’t go to Paris or Amsterdam, which sounds fun. He decided to spend his summer building sustainable housing for the poor. Guess where, Sokovia.”

     He pauses for a second as the team soaks in the information.

     “He wanted to make a difference, I suppose. I mean, we won’t know because we dropped a building on him while we were kicking ass.

     “There’s no decision-making process here. We need to be put in check! Whatever form that takes, I’m game. If we can’t accept limitations, if we’re boundary-less, we’re no better than the bad guys.”

     “Tony, someone dies on your watch, you don’t give up,” Steve rebuttals.

     “Who said we’re giving up?” 

     “We are if we’re not taking responsibility for our actions. This document just shifts the blame.”

     “I’m sorry. Steve,” Rhodey blurted. “That-that is dangerously arrogant. This is the United Nations we’re talking about. It’s not the World Security Council, it’s not SHIELD, it’s not HYDRA.”

      “No, but it’s run by people with agendas, and agendas change.”   

      “That’s good,” Tony starts. “That’s why I’m here. When I realized what my weapons were capable of in the wrong hands, I shut it down and stopped manufacturing.  

     “Tony, you chose to do that. If we sign this, we surrender our right to choose. What if this panel sends us somewhere we don’t think we should go? What if there is somewhere we need to go, and they don’t let us? We may not be perfect, but the safest hands are still our own.”

     “If we don’t do this now, it’s gonna be done to us later. That’s a fact. That won’t be pretty.”

     Wanda finally speaks up, “You’re saying they’ll come for me.”

     “We would protect you,” Vision promised. 

     “Maybe Tony’s right,” the redhead speaks. “If we have one hand on the wheel, we can still steer. If we take it off--”

     “Aren’t you the same woman who told the government to kiss her ass a few years ago?” Sam interrupts. 

     “I’m just… I’m reading the terrain. We have made… some very public mistakes. We need to win their trust back. 

     “Focus up,” Tony says. “I’m sorry, did I just mishear or did you agree with me?”

     “Oh, I want to take it back now.”

     “No, no, no. You can’t retract it. Thank you. Unprecedented. Okay, case-closed--I win.” 

     From what you see, Steve stands to leave abruptly. 

     You then walk out of the elevator, tablet still in hand with the footage up. The captain walks past you just as you turn the corner and spot the team. 

     “Someone’s upset,” you hum. 

     You walk past everyone towards the fridge and grab a water bottle. 

     “Anyway, that was very childish. And kinda stupid.” 

     Inquisitive looks are thrown your way and you hold up the tablet awkwardly as you plop down on a chair. 

     “I was watching you. I kinda do that a lot. It’s not as creepy as it sounds.” 

     You open the bottle and take a sip. 

     “What are you doing down here kid--”

     “Ahhh,” you interrupt. “Don’t call me a kid. I haven’t been a child for years.”

     “Just answer the question,” Tony snaps. 

     “I like to stay informed. No one tells me anything and while you think that these private meetings only affect you, it doesn’t. It affects me too. You may not remember I’m your child but several people do. And that puts me in danger. So yes, I listen to your conversations to make sure it’s nothing I need to worry about.” 

     An awkward silence washes over as you gulp down more water. 

     “Anyway, I was just riding up and down the elevator waiting for you guys to finish. That Ross dude is kinda creepy by the way. But you’re really considering signing that thing?” 

     “Not you too,” your father mutters. 

      You let out a laugh and everyone looks at you strangely. 

      “Is this funny to you?” Rhodey asks. 

      “Yes,” you stop laughing abruptly. “I find it hilarious that this is the same government that was ready to drop a nuke on the city during the Battle of New York not giving a damn about a single civilian that was still in the area. I find it hilarious that this is the same government that lets thousands of children and women of color go missing and not do a thing about it. It’s funny that this is the same government that let HYDRA, Red Room, AIM; all that shit grow right under their nose. It’s funny because this government is the same one that uses taxpayer money for dumb ass projects and unnecessary military funding instead of using it to fund shit that helps the civilians they claim they care so much about. I mean how can you not find this situation amusing?”

     “Look,” Tony attempts. 

     “I’m not finished,” you challenge, looking him dead in the eyes. “This government don’t give a damn about y’all, especially not the three of us,” you say, gesturing to yourself, Sam, and Rhodey. “We’d be booted out of this country before you could even blink if they ever got the chance and you know that.

     “I don’t know why y’all are so adamant on gaining the government’s trust when they don’t give a flying fuck about you or these goddamn civilians. All they care about is power. They don’t care how many civilians come up missing or die in some tragic accident. It doesn’t matter what happens. When they see someone becoming richer or smarter or more powerful than they are, they will do anything to shut that shit down. 

     “I don’t understand how you can’t see that. And maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s just me and my experience,” you pause, catching the gaze of every person in the room with hard eyes. You take a deep breath and try to calm down. “Sign it if you want to. Think about how many lives you’ll lose then.”

     You stand from your spot and walk into the open elevator, ready to get to the comfort of your bed. 

-

     It had been two days since the initial meeting and you were currently sitting on Michelle’s bed watching her read. 

     “You’re really pretty,” you muttered out of the blue.

     You saw your girlfriend’s cheeks develop a subtle red tint as she mumbled back a ‘thank you, and continued reading. You groan and gently pull the book out of her hands. 

     “Hey,” she quietly protests. 

     “Please,” you pout, holding your arms out as an invitation.

     MJ fondly rolls her eyes before lowering herself onto you. You hummed contently and squeezed her before planting a kiss on her cheek. 

     She surprised you by turning her head and giving you a lingering kiss. That one kiss soon turned into something more. 

     Michelle gently pushed you onto your back and straddled your hips. Bending down she kissed you once again, her lips gliding with yours. 

     This continued for a few minutes, taking small breaks in between to breathe. You don’t think you could ever get enough of her and hoped that she was feeling similarly.

     You kissed until your jaws hurt. The euphoric feeling still lingered as MJ rested her forehead against yours, trying to catch her breath. 

     “We should do that again sometime,” you mumbled. 

     Your girlfriend nodded in response, giving one more chaste kiss to your lips before dropping to your side. 

     “Tomorrow,” she said after glancing at the clock that read 10:47. 

     “Guess I’m spending the night then.” 

     “I have no problem with that.”

-

     The next day, you were awoken by beeping from your phone. Once you were fully aware of your surroundings you picked up the device and read the notifications that M.I.A sent through. Scanning through them, you sat up with urgency and played the video. 

     “A bomb hidden in a news van ripped through the UN building in Vienna. More than 70 people have been injured. At least 12 are dead, including Wakanda’s King T’Chaka. Officials have released a video of a suspect who they have identified as James Buchanan Bares, the Winter Soldier. The infamous HYDRA agent, linked to numerous acts of terrorism and political assassinations.”

     Carefully removing Michelle’s arm from around your waist, you stand up and move to the corner of the room. You press the contact and hold the phone up to your ear. 

      “Nat what the fuck is going on?”

     You hear the woman sigh on the other side of the phone.     “Look, just… stay wherever you are.”

     “Yeah, okay, whatever. I want answers, Nat.”

     “(Y/n),” she says firmly. “Calm down and go back to whatever you were doing. Right now, this does not concern you and I would like it to stay that way. Do you understand me?”

     There was some silence, before you let out a forced chuckle. 

     “Okay, whatever. Bye.”

     “(Y/n) c’mo--”

     You disconnected the call and gently tossed the phone onto MJ’s desk.     “You sound stressed.” 

     Turning around to face the bed, you see Michelle sat up and leaning against the headboard. You nod slowly and crawl your way up towards her. 

     “I am.”

     You feel her hand take hold of your clenched ones and she rubs them, causing you to relax slightly. 

     “There was a um, bombing at the--the um… signing thing. And no one wants to tell me what’s going on, so,” you end the sentence, shrugging. 

     MJ’s head drops onto your shoulder and you let her cuddle close. 

     “They told me to stay where I was. So hopefully we can get something good out of that.” 

     There was no response and you thought she had fallen back asleep, but you were proven wrong when your girlfriend started getting up. 

     “C’mon,” she instructed, holding her hand out when she saw the look of confusion on your face. 

     Taking her hand, the two of you made your way to the kitchen. 

     She turned around and grabbed your shoulders. 

     “We are going to make some breakfast… or lunch whatever. And then we are going to binge watch until we can binge watch no longer. Alright?”

     You nod your head, chuckling and then got to work. 

-

     It had been days since you last heard from anyone. No updates from Natasha. M.I.A even told you there hasn’t even been a great deal of movement in the compound. Today you decided you would head back. 

     When you arrived it was quiet. As you walked down the halls you heard distant chatter and followed it. 

     Turning the corner, you were surprised at what you saw. 

     “What the hell happened?”

     The two men turned to look your way, but you were given no answers. 

     Tony had bruises on his face and he looked more tense than usual. Rhodey had some sort of tech on his legs. 

     “You fought them. You fought them all, didn’t you?” 

     Both men looked away and avoided your gaze. 

     “You didn’t even listen to what I said. This is what the government does. I tried to tell you, but you didn’t even fucking listen,” you ranted, your voice slightly raising.

     “Us breaking apart wasn’t the government. Most of this is on some guy th--”

     “Well the government allowed it to happen so I’d say it is their fault!” 

     You turned to your father with pleading eyes. 

     “Where are they, Tony?”

     “Kid, they’re criminals now, I don’t--”

     “Stop calling me that! I’m--I’m not some kid. I’m not your kid,” you let out a frustrated breath. “You--you couldn’t talk it out? Like mature adults? You just had to go assert your dominance somewhere--in what? An--an airport? Some vacant lot? You just had to fight. Do you not know how to communicate?” 

     You looked at the two men, shook your head, and brushed past them. 

     Just when things were alright.

-

     “(Y/n)?” 

     “What M.I.A?”

     You were currently laying in your bed trying to control the tears that were begging to fall from your eyes due to the amount of overwhelming shit you had been hit with. You talked with MJ for a little while and while it helped a bit, you honestly were still feeling like… well shit.

     “There’s a package for you.” 

     Furrowing your eyebrows, you head down to where the mail is usually placed, get the package with your name on it, and head back to your room. 

     Grabbing a pair of scissors, you cut the tape and open the box. Inside was a letter and a phone. 

     Hey sweetheart.

     It was Natasha’s handwriting.

     I’m sorry. I really am. We all are. I wish things wouldn’t have ended this way, but they did and we can’t really do anything about it now. 

     I listened to what you said. I listened and I tried my best to understand. I don’t think I ever wanted to sign the accords in the first place. The only reason I did so was so that we could stay together. So that I could stay with you. This team is the only family I’ve had in a long time. The fact that that stack of papers could end that scared me. 

     I just kept trying to convince myself that signing the Accords was the right thing to do; anything to keep this team together. Anything to keep everything from falling apart. 

     But the more I thought about it, I realized. You were right. Everything you said. This government doesn’t care. And if the government doesn’t care like they’re supposed to then we need to. People need the government, but they don’t have it. They do have us though. And they always will. 

     I love you. I didn’t say it enough and I don’t know when or if I’ll ever get to tell you that again. You are so precious to me and I’m sorry I couldn’t stay. If you ever need anything, you can always give me a call. 

     You wiped your eyes and gently picked up the phone. You held it in your hands for a moment before setting it down. You folded the letter back up neatly and placed both items in the top drawer of your nightstand. 

     You laid back down on your bed with less tears on your face. 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

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[mggpleasedontlookhere]

pascal

summary: spencer has had a few late nights at work, which ultimately meant neglecting y/n and their baby. after he returns home, he attempts to console his child, only to find out that his son doesn’t recognize him

word count: 1887                                                                                      reading time aprox: 8 mins

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My muscles were in complete repose, my eyes began to flutter against the sudden weight that forced them to shut, and reality around me began to dissipate. I drew in a long breath as I let myself succumb to the peaceful atmosphere of mine and Spencer’s bedroom, the moonlight that crept through the window enhancing the serene ambiance.  

I felt the soft fabric of the duvet on the skin of my legs, pulling it over the entirety of my body as I drifted away into a well deserved slumber. Unfortunately, those plans were unmatched to the wails of my crying son in the nursery next to the bedroom. 

I groaned, clutching my head while disdainfully throwing myself up from the bed and dragging myself to where my son laid in distress. Walking into the quaint, but pastel colored room, my eyes landed on the clock above the cradle. Exhaustion infiltrated my every move and the fact that the clock read 2:48 am made the occasion less desirable. 

“Hey Pascal, hey buddy” I cooed, picking up the small infant that permeated the room with his blaring cries. It was Spencer’s idea to name him after his favorite French mathematician. At first, Spencer was definite on naming the baby Schrodinger after the Austrian physicist, which was followed by the explanation of Schrodinger’s cat and how that unveiled the misconceptions on Copenhagen’s theory of physics. Fortunately for me and the hospital, I was too busy in labor to retaliate by throwing him out of the hospital window for interrupting the birth of our first child with physics history. After a while of deliberation, we both agreed on the name Pascal.

“Shh, it’s okay baby, mommy’s got you” I reassured, laying him on my chest as I bounced on the heels of my feet while swaying side to side. I hummed the tune of Mozart’s Sonata No. 16, the melody subduing the child’s relentless howls as I placed him back into the cradle. I refolded the blanket that swaddled Pascal, tucking in any stray pieces that his tiny feet could slip out of. Finally, I walked over to a music box that rested on top of the baby’s dresser, winding it to play throughout the remainder of the night to encourage the baby’s slumber. 

I wish I could be in the same circumstances as Pascal, considering he had a means of going back to sleep. My preferred method was, yet again, staying late at the FBI headquarters in order to assist in a BAU case. 

It felt like the same night had been replaying over and over again for the past 2 weeks. I’d get up to soothe the baby, fall back asleep on a lonesome bed, then wake up to a man that would hurry back to work the second his eyes opened. Me and Spencer were becoming estranged, although my concern primarily derived from the possibility of our son not even recognizing his father. 

I stumbled back to my room, practically dragging my feet as I tediously made my way back to the comforting sensation of the bed. My entire body screamed for sedation, begging for rest, yet my mind raced with troublesome thoughts about my relationship with Spencer. 

My eyes shifted downwards to the emerald ring that Spencer had given me when he proposed. It was the same ring that his mother and grandmother had worn when they were ought to be betrothed. I slouched on the side of the bed, sliding the ring off of my finger and into the drawer of the nightstand and finally attempted to regain the will of maintaining a decent sleep schedule. 

Though with my luck, that was yet to happen due to a loud bang that engulfed the apartment, followed by a string of curse words from Spencer’s mouth. With the inclination to investigate battling against my debilitation. I hauled my entire body up off the bed once again to meet Spencer in the living room, where I was met with the view of a lanky boy clutching onto several books that were scattered on the wood floors. If I weren’t in an irritated disposition, I would’ve laughed at the scene displayed in front of me, instead I mustered up a small ‘welcome home’ as I squinted at him. 

“Hey Y/N, why are you still up?” He whispered, straddling the books he carried on his knee. 

I sighed, wiping the wrinkles off of my forehead. “I-I don’t know, Pascal woke up and I was, yeah- I was just trying to sleep, but he started crying” I explained, stumbling over my words as the fatigue clearly impeded my cognitive ability. 

“I’m sorry to hear that Y/N” He walked over to the table next to the door and placed the books back to where they were previously before heading over to the kitchen. “Why don’t you go back to sleep, love?” He suggested, reaching over the counter for the cappuccino machine. 

“You’re staying up?” I inquired, ignoring his proposal completely. He sifted through the cabinets to find his favorite Star Trek mug for his coffee, but struggled to locate it. “-third cabinet to the left” I interjected, putting him out of his misery. 

He nodded in gratitude, flashing me a tight lipped smile. “Yeah, I just have to finish the paperwork for some case files” He elaborated casually. 

I stood over the living room couch, setting myself down on the edge of the cushions as I observed Spencer’s movements. “Are you coming to bed Spence?” I crossed arms, resting my eyes while I continued to feebly converse with him. 

“Uhhhhh-” He prolonged his speech, deliberating on how he was going to answer the double edged question. “It’s a really long case Y/N, I’ll try to be in bed as soon as possible” He confessed, watching the steam rise from the coffee pot, indicating that his brew was almost done. 

“Okay” I replied monotonously, not having the energy to negotiate with Spencer’s unhealthy work habits. “Do you mind at least checking on the baby next time he gets fussy?” I rubbed the temples of my forehead, feeling a migraine begin to ensue. 

“Y/N I don’t think I can, I just have a lot to go over and Hotch is really on me for-” 

“Spencer, I understand it’s been a long night for me too” I gripped onto the throw pillows below me as my migraine intensified. “I just- my head’s kind hurting and I just need you to check up on Pascal once and in a wh-” 

“Y/N-” He began, pouring copious amounts of creamer into his cup of coffee. “I just need this night alone Y/N, and I really don’t think it’s a lot to ask” He justified, leaning on the counter behind him as he sipped on beverage. 

Frustration battled with the almost unbearable pounding in my head, grateful for the dimly lit room that blessed my sensitive eyes. “But Spencer, you’re barely here at home and Pascal needs his da-” 

“Yes, but his dad is out in the world, ridding it of all the bad guys that can cause harm to him” Spencer argued, an impatient tone evident behind his words. “Don’t I get any credit for that?” 

“Spencer, I’m not saying that-”

“Y/N I’m just having a long night, I need to spend it alone-” 

“Oh, just like me and Pascal do every night” I spat, gesturing to the nursery across the hall. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He interrogated, slamming his mug onto the coffee, but not forceful enough to spill the beverage. 

“Spencer, I’m really not trying to fight” I emphasized, forcing my eyes shut as I felt my head pulse. 

“Well, it seems like you are” Spencer scoffed, peering at me with an incredulous expression. “At least I’m supporting this household, what are you attributing to it?” He mocked, his voice elevating in volume. 

“Spencer, can we not get into that, I’m just saying that I wished you spent more time with Pascal” I admitted, my voice fading out into the darkness as I tried to limit my speech.

“Y/N, don’t you understand that-” 

“YES! I understand fully” I impulsively yelled in annoyance, regretting it afterwards with the thought of the baby in my conscience. 

Unfortunately the sound of my voice had permeated the poor child’s ears, sending him into a panicked frenzy of deafening cries. I groaned in exasperation, running my hands over my face in exhaustion as the crying fit ensued in the middle a heated argument. 

“God! See what you did now” Spencer complained, shaking his head as he made long strides towards the nursery. 

“Spence- I don’t think you want to do that” I warned, running along after him. “Spence he hasn’t seen you in a long time, I don’t think he’ll recog-” 

“He’s my son Y/N, I think he’ll recognize me” He jeered, mocking my apprehension. He entered into the small room with soft steps, reaching into the cradle with an amiable countenance before coddling the small human against his shoulders. Opposite to Spencer’s intentions, Pascal began to fuss in Spencer’s hold. He kicked and emitted loud screams, resisting against the foreign arms that were around him. 

“Spence-” I whispered, although my attempt to gain his attention fell through as he continued to care for Pascal. 

“Hey, it’s okay daddy’s he- hey no it’s- Pascal-” Spencer sputtered out, struggling against the infant writhing around on his shoulder. The lines were now apparent on Spencer’s forehead, indicating his exponentially growing frustration. 

“Spence, give him to me. I can-” I interjected, but was ultimately shut down by Spencer’s stubbornness. 

“I got this Y/N” He stated with determination. 

Although even with all his motivation and determination to sedate the small child, the results were dissatisfactory. “Come Pascal- come on buddy” Spencer cooed, now bouncing him side to side. Pascal’s cries engulfed the entire room, giving me a heart wrenching feeling due to my motherly instinct. 

A small part of me pitied Spencer’s attempts at reconnecting with his child as he found the results fruitless. By this point, his methods were futile; Pascal’s behavior becoming increasingly volatile. Instinctively I rushed over to Spencer, picking up Pascal in my arms. 

Without a second passing by, the infant had calmed down instantaneous. I bounced him side to side, similar to Spencer’s actions, and snuggled him into my chest. 

For a moment I caught Spencer’s gaze and what I saw was more than heartbreaking to witness. He looked at me and Pascal with a defeated look, but it wasn’t any ordinary defeated look, he seemed to be in utter despair. 

My frustration at him dissipated and was replaced by empathy as his eyes began to water in chagrin. Setting Pascal back into the cradle after he fell back asleep, I turned to face Spencer with a lamentable expression; only to find him gazing at his hands with indignation. 

“Spence” I whispered gently. Although without a second thought, he had rushed out of the room, grabbed his belongings, and left the apartment. 

I closed my eyes in disquietude, reminded of the migraine I had previously. I waddled back into the bedroom to cuddle into the bed sheets as I let my mind roam the forlorn thoughts that swirled around my head.

part 2

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tag list: @rexorangecouny

part 2 tmrw