#hey girl!!! you destroyed your entire existence for fiction!!

[kaitobromota]

🍦What’s the Tsumugi salmon mode ending trivia? (<- brain chemistry unironically changed because of Tsumugi)

Honestly it's less an Easter Egg, per say, and more, HEY HOW DO MORE PEOPLE NOT TALK ABOUT IT IT'S WILD

And after some more 'normal' dialogue, at the very end...

LIKE HELLO??? It's completely out of left field and the only moment like this in all the post game stuff. Super eerie there is something sooo wrong with her for this <3

[firelxdykatara]

gods, ok, apparently i’m not done.

atla fandom? we need to have a chat.

(....ok that made me sound pretentious as fuck. and maybe i am, but this needs to be said, cause i’m getting....real, real tired of a Certain Corner of this fandom and as a result, this is gonna be a discourse-heavy post so feel free to scroll past if that’s not your bag. as always, my salt posts all carry the catch-all #salt for ts tag, which you’re free to blacklist/filter at your leisure. i’m Very Annoyed at the moment, which will probably come through in the following post, so just. yknow. be prepared for that. or ignore it, that’s perfectly valid too.)

under a cut bc i do care for my followers and their sanity i swear lmao

there’s a real serious issue in this fandom with not understanding what queer terminology actually means or implies, especially when applied to a fictional narrative.

i’m specifically talking about ‘coding’, here. (if i were in a more meme-y mood, i might have said ‘the atla fandom found out about the term “gay-coding” and haven’t shut up since’.)

to the people who say ‘zuko is gay-coded’, i have this to say: you keep using that word. i do not think it means what you think it means. because he isn’t. i’m sorry, but he’s not! and the fact that this is such a prevalent claim in this fandom is distressing, bc it says to me that none of y’all know what gay-coding is or when and how to apply it! please, i’m begging you, go and look up these terms and what they mean and when they should be used before actually trying to plug them into your critical analysis, because when you misuse them and then call other people delusional for disagreeing with you it casts a pall over the entire fandom and is, i think, the root of some of the worst toxicity this fandom has to offer.

and the thing is, there are cases where gay-coding would apply--for instance, a couple series that are famous for queerbaiting their audience by coding their main characters as being attracted to one another (sometimes even despite their openly stated sexualities) come to mind, but those shows bare no similarities at all to atla and how zuko was written and portrayed! (and it would be funny, if it weren’t so obnoxious and infuriatingly wide-spread throughout the fandom, because the only queer couple we actually seen on-screen in either show wasn’t even queer-coded in any respect, and they’re canonically bi! [yes, i’m shading korrasami, or more accurately i’m shading bryke for refusing to give ka the build-up and development they deserved].)

this absolutely isn’t to say that headcanoning zuko as gay is a bad thing or invalid in any respect. (although the tendency for zukka shippers to do this specifically to keep zuko away from katara and/or invalidate his canon relationship/attraction to girls is more than a little eyebrow raising. especially since sokka is usually allowed to be bi, bc fans have no problem letting sukka stay in the background bc it’s no real threat, while jetko shippers are happy to have both boys be bi. [possibly bc katara is less a threat to jetko bc jetkotara is every bit as valid as any single ship between the three, but zukka can’t exactly let katara join in, and if the potential exists for zuko to be attracted to her then canon giving them the far deeper emotional bond becomes a threat to zukka’s existence? idk for sure--you be the judge.]) i prefer to hc zuko as bi (and always have, long before the atla renaissance), bc i don’t think zuko being attracted to boys is outside the realm of possibility, and it isn’t a threat to my ship since zuko&katara had a deep and emotional bond in canon that is very easy to develop further into something that becomes explicitly romantic--but the headcanon itself isn’t really the problem (although what it’s often in service to can be).

it’s the strange insistence that this is the only way to read his character, bc he was coded that way and so anyone who doesn’t see it must be too straight to understand--and i really shouldn’t have to say why and how that is so incredibly fucking insulting. (the ‘hetero lenses’ comment wasn’t cute when it came from bryke six years ago, and the same sentiment being repackaged and delivered by zukka shippers ain’t cute now.)

calling zuko gay-coded not only demonstrates ignorance as to what the term actually means, and how to usefully apply it in critical analysis, but also validates the frankly bullshit insertion of institutionalized homophobia in the world of atla where it was neither needed, nor wanted, nor ever hinted at in canon. as a queer woman i’m still infuriated by one fucking comic panel shoving institutionalized and systemic homophobia into a world where it was entirely unnecessary (and doing this in the first installment of the franchise showcasing a queer relationship??? making korra and asami worried about ‘coming out’ when they could have just gone on to have cute adventures together and tell people ‘hey we’re dating’ and have everyone else be ‘that’s awesome =DDD’ [because it is, in fact, possible to just have a world without homophobia i promise!!!!!] double yikes, i’m still pissed at bryke about it), and i doubly hate that ‘zuko is gay coded’ has become so widespread that ‘ozai hates him bc he’s gay’ has become a staple in that part of the fandom.

not only does making zuko gay and implying (or outright stating) that ozai hated and abused him because of it completely undermine zuko’s character arc by making his abuse about his sexuality rather than ozai’s toxic pride and anger at seeing himself reflected in his ‘weak’ son, but it comes very close to outright stating that abuse and trauma are inherently gay experiences, and they aren’t!!! they really aren’t, i promise!!!

abuse and trauma narratives exist outside of ‘my dad hates me because i’m gay’. and, quite frankly, there are MORE THAN ENOUGH queer trauma narratives out in the world. we do not need to start trying to retroactively make them canon in a series where they didn’t exist! if you’re gay and see yourself in zuko and project your own experiences on him, that’s understandable and valid. that does not make zuko gay-coded. and honestly, the insistence that he is makes very little sense to me, because you’re essentially trying to give the show credit for work you put into interpreting the characters! why would you want to do that? why not own your own headcanons and take credit for them, rather than insisting they are canon and everyone else is wrong for not seeing them??? like, i’ve said before that i’ve always headcanoned zuko (and katara) as bi, and even support it with my interpretations of evidence from the show, but the difference between ‘i think zuko is bi’ and ‘zuko is definitely gay-coded’ is that i know that bi zuko is my interpretation of canon, and that it is work i’m putting into the show that wasn’t actually intended by the creators/writers, no matter how much sexual tension i read into the jetko swordfight.

and like, zuko’s character arc doesn’t actually parallel a queer one all that well to begin with. it’s easy enough to do the work and twist it sideways just enough to make the general points fit, but the fact is, zuko’s arc is not one of self-discovery. it’s not one of coming to understand something fundamental about himself that he can’t change, that he was hated for, and coming out to his father in a dramatic confrontation where he shows that he understands himself and doesn’t need his father’s acceptance to be fulfilled.

zuko’s arc is actually one of trauma and healing. and those can (and often are--like i said, there are more than enough queer trauma narratives in the world, atla really doesn’t need to be one of them) be part of queer narratives, for sure! but they aren’t uniquely queer. and zuko’s confrontation with ozai during the eclipse doesn’t read like a ‘coming out’ at all. (yes, i’ve seen that post. yes, i rolled my eyes and moved on, bc unlike some people, i’m capable of not clowning on correctly tagged posts i disagree with.) zuko is specifically confronting ozai over his abuse, because his arc wasn’t about discovering anything fundamental about himself (and therefore realizing that ozai was hating him for something he couldn’t change)--it was about realizing that he was not at fault for the way his father treated him. it was also about realizing that the fire nation was broken and corrupt at its core, and that his father was an aspect of that he needed to break away from so that he could help the world begin to heal.

he says it himself:

Zuko: No, I've learned everything! And I've had to learn it on my own! Growing up, we were taught that the Fire Nation was the greatest civilization in history. And somehow, the War was our way of sharing our greatness with the rest of the world. What an amazing lie that was. The people of the world are terrified by the Fire Nation. They don't see our greatness. They hate us! And we deserve it! We've created an era of fear in the world. And if we don't want the world to destroy itself, we need to replace it with an era of peace and kindness.

making this about zuko being gay and rejecting ozai’s homophobia, rather than zuko learning fundamental truths about the world and about his home and about how there was something deeply wrong with his nation that needed to be fixed in order for the world to heal (and, no, ‘homophobia’ is not the answer to ‘what is wrong with the fire nation’, i’m still fucking pissed at bryke about that), misses the entire point of his character arc. this is the culmination of zuko realizing that he should never have had to earn his father’s love, because that should have been unconditional from the start. this is zuko realizing that he was not at fault for his father’s abuse--that speaking out of turn in a war meeting in no way justified fighting a duel with a child.

is that first realization (that a parent’s love should be unconditional, and if it isn’t, then that is the parent’s fault and not the child’s) something that queer kids in homophobic households/families can relate to? of course it is. but it’s also something that every other abused kid, straight kids and even queer kids who were abused for other reasons before they even knew they were anything other than cishet, can relate to as well. in that respect, it is not a uniquely queer experience, nor is it a uniquely queer story, and zuko not being attracted to girls (which is what a lot of it seems to boil down to, at the end of the day--cutting down zuko’s potential ships so that only zukka and a few far more niche ships are left standing) is not necessary to his character arc. nor does it particularly make sense.

(and before anyone brings up his date with jin--a) he enjoyed it when she kissed him, and b) he was a traumatized, abused child going out on a first date. of course he was fucking awkward. have you ever met a teenage boy????)

anyway, uh, that was a lot of words, so have a tl;dr: zuko is not gay-coded. there is nothing uniquely gay (or even uniquely queer) about his character arc or characterization, and he was certainly not coded gay in an attempt to sneak a queer character past the censors. if anyone involved with atla was gonna try that, it would’ve been in lok, and as established, they didn’t even manage to queer-code the actual queer relationship before the last few minutes of the final episode. headcanoning zuko as gay is absolutely fine (though if it’s only done to keep him away from female characters he may otherwise be attracted to, that smells more like misogyny than anything else), but insisting that this reading is the only one that makes sense, and anyone who doesn’t agree must be straight (hello, queer woman here making this insanely long thinkpiece) is very much not.

ship what you like, but stop trying to invalidate other ships and other interpretations of characters just to make your ship seem more plausible. it’s really not a good look.

[thephoenixdescendant]

I knew this would happen. I accidently deleted an ask. Thank god I took a screenshot of it before deleting it...🙏🙏🙏

Whoever asked this, I'm praying that they will see this post.

WORD COUNT: 2,824

Vert x Reader x Alternative Vert

You settled in handler corners about a year ago and made friends with the people who work at spectre motors. But, one day you became awestruck for the fact that you saw them coming out of a portal. That's when you knew what they really do. You have been nagging them to bring you with them but Vert refused. The reason why is because he's afraid you might get hurt and also, you tried to ride the saber the other day. But, what happened was you drove it to the maximum speed limit. And you crashed his car on a giant rock. You hit your head on the glass real hard and ever since then, he's been treating you like a kid. So, you kept annoying Vert to the point where he gave up and said yes. But he told you to not walk around the battle zone and instead, stay with Stanford.

You were with them on the training tracks watching the solar eclipse through those special glasses that allows you to look at the sun, until Sage announced through their coms that a stormshock was detected, with a warning. Those solar flares could damage their vehicles. Vert turned to you with a serious expression. "Don't get out of the reverb. If you do, then it'll be the last time I'm taking you to a battlezone". You nodded in agreement. You hopped on the reverb and they all took off.

"Stay double frosty guys. Sage said those solar flares could do nasty stuff to our instruments." Vert warned. "Solar activity peak level coinciding with portal entry" Sage announced through the coms as Stanford kept touching a button on the touch screen of his reverb. "Might explain why my rear axle telemetry a bit dodgy." Stanford said.

"Caution. Battlezone may also be affected."

Everyone got inside the portal and arrived on a planet that looks really fimiliar. Like the ones they show on science fiction movies. "Looks like a standard alien desert to me." Spinner said. "Everybody make some dust. Find me a key!" Vert said as he went to the other direction. "As soon as I find out what's wrong my axle. Catch up with you." Stanford parked his car on an area near a mountain. You got annoyed because you couldn't see the rest of the zone for a bit.

Stanford got out of the reverb with a socket wrench that he carries with him. He crossed your arms as you watched him open the bonet. "First rule of a manual servo repair. Never need one." Stanford started to twist and turn some of the parts with the socket wrench. You grunted in annoyance. "Hey Stan. Can I get out and watch the view. I wanna walk around a bit." You asked. "No. Vert told me to make sure your inside the Reverb at all cost." Stanford replied. Not looking in your direction. "Come on! I don't wanna sit here! I just wanna walk!!!" You whined. But, he just ignored you. You looked outside and sighed. Then you got an idea. "Hey stan. I'll make a promise to you if you let me out." You said. He looked at you, a brow raised. "What promise?" He asked. "If you let me out, I'll tell Grace how amazing you are! I know you like her and I'm sure she'll listen to me. That way, she'll ask you out!" You said, with a big smile. He rubbed his chin and thought about it for a second. A smile formed on his face. "Okay! You can come out!" He said. You felt really happy and when you got out of the reverb, you gave Stanford a big hug. "Thank you!!!" You said, before going to the other side, enjoying the view.

You kept walking around until you saw something coming from the distance. It looked like a gold chariot... And it was coming towards you. You ran to Stanford and hid behind him. He gasped when he saw one of his enemies right in front of him. He dropped his socket wrench as the mutant like creature aimed his crossbow at him.

"Go on then! What are you waiting for fang face?!" Stanford said with pure hate. "Even though you humans want to destroy my world, I cannot attack an unarmed man." Kalus said. Stanford looked at him, confused. "Who are you? And what have you done with Kalus?" Stanford asked. "And you, are not acting like a member of the evil battle force 5!" Kallus exclaimed. "Evil battle force 5?" You whispered. Stanford looked at you, indicating he was confused, just as you.

"Mount your vehicle and let us battle as honour dictates." Kalus said. Stanford took a step back, almost stepping on your feet. "Uhh.... One moment..." He said before he spoke through his com. "Guys! Kalus has me in his crosshairs, but he's being... Honourable. Please advice." "On our way!" Vert replied as he and the others went to where Stanford stood.

You saw the team coming towards them from the distance. The tension was relieved.

"Huh! Typical Battle Force 5. Refusing to choose the Vandal code to settle our differences like gentleman!" Kalus spat.

"A vandal gentleman? Huh! In what world?" Sherman asked. "Maybe in this world. Sage said the battlezone could be affected. Captain Kalus! Wait! Please." Vert stopped the Saber infront of him. You and Stanford quickly got inside the Reverb and he aimed the sonic canons at Kalus. "Captain Kalus!" Vert called as he got out, without bringing his double edged sword. Kalus aimed his crossbow at him. "I'd like to speak with you! I've come unarmed." He walked towards him. "Vert! We've got him surrounded. What are you doing?!" Agura questioned. "Playing a hunch I'm about to wish I never had. Cover me but stay back." Vert said. Kalus got out of his chariot. "What kind of trickery is this?!" He questioned. Vert held out his arm, motioning Stanford to turn off the sonic canons.

"You... Ordered your team to stay back..." Kalus said. "I did. So, where is yours?" Vert asked. "Ugh! You know very well what happened to them!" Kalus said before sniffing Vert's uniform. "Or do you?" Kalus got surprised of the scent Vert had. It wasn't the same scent he was fimiliar with.

"It's not Kalus!" Vert turned around to the team. "Uhh... How many talking lions with crossbows are there riding around in gold chariots?" Agura was confused. Zoom came and stopped the chopper beside the tangler. "Just did a flyby on the battle key!" He said before turning to Vert. Surprised to see Kalus standing next to him. "Whoa! And we're not whipping lion butt why?" "Somehow those solar flares must of connected us to a dimention exactly opposite our own." Sherman explained. You gasped in surprise. "Am I gonna see the opposite version of the team?" You thought. "With good Vandals! (Idk what word he said after that... lol)" Stanford said, confused and surprised at the same time. "So where's the rest of your team?" Vert asked. "My good friends Hatch, Xever and Crocomodo were elimimated... Long ago...." Kalus said sadly. His face drooped down. You looked at him with pity. "By who?" Vert asked. "By.... Them...." Kalus pointed to the distance, as he heard a team of cars racing towards them. The whole team looked at the distance and saw their opposites. "Those look just like our rides!" Sherman exclaimed. "Normally it's between me and that battle force 5. Which exists only to conquer peacefull worlds..." Kalus said.

"Well... Look what we have here?" The alternative vert's voice was heard through the com. You gasped at how his tone was so.... Evil... "They look like us, but they're so... Clean." "Not after I'm done with them." "I wanna smash them. Into teeny tiny bits!" "Wow Sherm! That was nearly a complete sentence!" "Oh, you boys are like soooo immature!" "Shut your traps. First we get the key. Then we play...." A fit of evil laughter sent chills down your spine. Anti-Vert noticed you sitting with Stanford. He looked at you and winked. "Uhhh...." You had no words to say. "Whoa. Doppleganger dudes really got their fight on!" Spinner said. "Can't let 'em get the key. What do you need Zoom?" Vert asked. "Battle key is in the side of a mini mountain. Gonna need Agura!" Zoom replied. "Nothings out of my reach!" Agura said. "Agura go for the key. Everyone else on defense. Let's go!" The team charged towards their opposites. They looked at each other in pure hate. You gripped on your seat because of how fast the Reverb was going.

"Looks like those goodie goodies are gonna get in our way!" Anti-Spinner said. "Split up. Take 'em one on one." Anti-Vert ordered. The Saber's blades collided with each other. Anti-Vert's blade scraped past the Saber. Vert grunted in anger.

Anti-Vert's Saber got near the Reverb and he came to your side of the car. "Hey sexy! He thinks he's better than me. Let me show you what I can do." He said before charging towards Vert's Saber. Vert got really angry when his alternarive self called you "sexy". God, he wanted to punch his anti-self's perfect teeth. "If you are trying to challenge me, you're doing a terrible mistake! I'm gonna kick your butt!" Vert said. "That will be in your dreams. The woman/man is mine!" Anti-Vert said. "No, mine!" Vert muttered. "She/he is mine!"

You were watching the entire thing. Each time Vert gets pushed back by his anti self, Anti-Vert has a grin on his face. He knows you are still watching the fight. But, you suddenly can't see them because the Reverb has gone away from them. "Stanford. Follow the girl/boy and try to wreck their Reverb." Anti-Vert said. "Consider it done!" He said. You saw Anti-Stanford following the Reverb really tightly. "Ohmygosh. Please go faster!" You said. "I am!" Stanford swerved the car left and right. Trying to avoid the sonic attacks. His anti self got to your side and you gasped when he made his car push the Reverb to the side. Both Stanford and his evil self pushed each other back and forth. "Coming here was a bad idea..." You regreted annoying Vert. This is what Vert has been warning you about. Something like this always happen. Suddenly, Anti-Stanford pushed his vehicle too hard on the Reverb. Causing the mirror on your side to break. Shards of glasses fell onto your arm. It's sharp sides grazed your skin. Causing a cut on the thin layer of skin. But enough to bleed. It stinged a little. "We'll get away from.... Me..." Stanford somehow managed to turn the Reverb, making it face his anti self. They both sonic blasted each other. Stanford and his anti self took the hit, causing the Reverb to be pushed back. You hit your head really hard on the back and on the side..... The glass shards cut the side of your cheek. It started to bleed and your head hurts fr om hitting the back too hard. "(Y/N)!!! You're bleeding!!!" Stanford gasped in horror. "I'm... I'm okay... Just go!" You said. The Reverb took off, leaving Anti-Stanford alone. You started to feel nauseous and a splitting headache took place. "I... I don't feel so good..." You said, covering your mouth. Trying not to vomit because of how the Reverb's movement is. "I'll take you somewhere that'll keep you safe!" Stanford said.

Stanford parked the Reverb on a small cave. A cave where it's not clearly seen. Both you and Stanford got out. You sat on the floor, leaning onto the wall, as Stanford inspected your injuries. "I don't have an emergency kit. Sorry about that..." Stanford apologized. "N-no it's okay." You said, as you took out your handkerchief from your pocket. You placed it on your cheek, hoping the bleeding will stop. "I should be the onr who's sorry. I shouldn't have come here." You said sadly. "It's okay (Y/N)." Stanford smiled. "You stay here. The Reverb is already damaged. If you're in it, then it'll cause more injuries to you. Our opposites won't find you." Stanford said as he got inside the Reverb. He disappeared into the distance and you sighed. "I shouldn't have come here..."

Vert and his anti-self kept pushing their vehicles on each other, causing a lot of damage. He chuckled. "You already know that soon, the woman/man that you have brought with you on your mission will be mine! I already know it. You're weak!" He said. "Not gonna happen!" Vert shouted. Then Anti-Vert saw the Reverb coming out from the side of a mountain, but you weren't there with him. "Are you sure Vert?" Anti-Vert asked before violenly pushing Vert's Saber with his blades. Vert's vehicle flipped over and Anti-Vert went to where Stanford came.

You started to feel lightheaded and your head was throbbing and you placed your hand on the back of your head. You felt warm liquid covering your palm. It was blood. You sighed, praying the team will come back to get you. You laid down and curled up like a ball, trying to fall asleep. After a few minutes, you heard a vehicle coming towards you. It sounded like the Saber. You felt relieved for Vert being here and you got up... Only to see his alternative self staring at you. He chuckled. "Are you trying to rest my love?" He asked. "I'm not your love! Leave me alone!" You said, as you stood up. "You don't know what I am capable of. I'm way better than the Vert from your homeworld." He said. "Oh no no no. You are just a freak. I don't like men like you!" You shouted. He looked at you with no emotion. He took a step towards you and you took a step back. "Me? A freak? Ha! You don't know me well dear." Vert said. "And you don't know me as well. I'm capable of fighting you off. I have a black belt in karate!" You exclaimed. Suddenly, Anti-Vert just burst out into laughter. "Do you really expect me to believe that?! You don't look like the type to be violent." He said. "Oh, But I am. Don't mess with me!" You said. He took a step forward and you lunged at him, ready to punch his face. But, he grabbed both of your wrist. "Hm... A black belt in karate, huh?" He said, mockingly. "I-I just went e-easy on you!" You said, as you tried to pull yourself out of his grip. But, he was too strong. "Don't even try. You're weak!" He said. You mentally slapped yourself from doing that stupid move. The amount of energy you took to get out of his grip made you feel as if the world was spinning around you. Your legs became weak and you almost fell down, but Anti-Vert caught you. He grazed his fingers on the cut on your cheek. "Looks like Stanford got a little harsh on you...". "I'm very sorry about that..." He suddenly pinned you against a wall.

He looked at how vulnerable you are. It didn't take long to smash his lips onto yours. You couldn't protest as your body felt like jelly. He stopped kissing you as you bit his tongue harshly. "Gah!" He hissed in pain. You fell down on the floor. "D-don't do i-it a-again...." You spoke. Your voice was weak. The blood from his tongue starts to drip down from his mouth. "I would love my woman/man to be a little more compliant. I don't mind playful biting.... But, not in a way it'll stop someone from kissing you..." He said. "Go... To... Hell!" You spat. He just laughed. "You will be under my control when I take you away from them!" He said, with a wicked smile.

"STAY AWAY FROM HER YOU SACK OF SH*T!!!" Someone shouted from the distance. You both looked at who it was. It was Vert. Your Vert. He ran towards his anti-self and kicked him in the guts. Anti-Vert grunted in pain. "You will seriously gonna regret doing that!" He said. "YOU WILL SERIOUSLY GONNA REGRET TAKING MY WOMAN/MAN AWAY FROM ME!!!!" Vert shouted. Then, both Vert and his alternative self started to have a fist fight. You couldn't move or speak, and you laid down almost unconscious.

Vert somehow beaten his anti-self down. He ran to you and picked you up. "You're bleeding!!!" He gasped as he felt the warm liquid from your head. He ran out of the cave and placed you inside the Reverb. "Get her/him home! Now!" He ordered. Stanford nodded and he took you to the hub. He went back to the Saber and looked at his anti-self. "You and I are gonna have a fight. With our vehicles..." He said.

Part 2 (Coming Soon)

[linkspooky]

Ten Favorite Female Characters

I was tagged by @midnight-in-town​, so now I have to show them how much I love my favorite women. 

Name your favorite female characters from 10 different Fandoms and tag 10/or the amount you wish people

Tagging: @hamliet​ @amonmahboi​ @inumaqi​ @thyandrawrites​ @kaibutsushidousha​  @harostar​.. yeah, I don’t know ten people. 

Enoshima Junko 

“Hope is harmony. A just heart, moving toward the light. That is all. Despair is hope's polar opposite. It is messy and confusing. It swallows up love, hatred, and everything else.”

Junko wishes she was a psychopath. She’s spent her entire life pretending to be a crazy psychopath, because living that life is just so much more interesting than the one she’s stuck in. Enoshima Junko is just too smart for the world, and everything is too easy for her, and rather than try to dumb herself down a little bit she’s decided to knock everything else down. She’s a girl kicking down sandcastles because building them out of sand all alone is no longer doing it for her. 

Junko’s interesting because of the weird logic and loops she runs her brain into. There’s a complex character behind the whole “I exist only to spread despair” thing. She’s perfectly capable of forming emotional attachments to people, and genuinely caring. But the people she likes are generally far worse off than the ones she doesn’t care about. 

Junko wants so badly to, just not be human. She does the most inhuman things possible to prove that she’s not human. What really made me love her is the lengths she’s willing to go, to the point in Dangan Ronpa Zero where she basically took a screw to her own brain and started acting like a normal girl only when all of her memories were removed. 

Junkos relationship with Matsuda shows two conflicting sides of her character. How much she's humanized by her love of him,  and also how much she wants to completely destroy that part of herself. It's like she physically can't be a normal girl. Or rather she doesn’t want to be to such extremes she’ll break everything and then herself. 

And if she can’t be normal than Junko decided that self destruction is her next best bet. There’s just nothing that will satisfy Junko, and it’s interesting to watch someone that empty decide the world is going to end, or she’s going to end herself and she doesn’t really care which. 

Ajimu Najimi

“Call to me with affection, Anshin’in-san. Well, I don’t really care what manga characters call me.” 

Hey, I put Junko on this list twice. Both Ajimu and Junko live in a world that is too easy for them, and therefore they have no reason to get emotionally invested in others or try to attach themselves to anything. Which is why it’s fun to see Ajimu attempt the same thing as Junko to kill herself in style and eventually get saved from herself.

Medaka Box is such a meaningful manga to me because they take the weirdest characters and no matter how deranged they are they find the parts of them that are relatable and go, well guess what you’re human too. Ajimu literally calls herself a non-human and she’s just as human as all the rest in the end. 

The best part is it’s not her good points that make her human, it’s all her flaws. It’s easy to feel like the world isn’t real, that nothing in the world is worth living for, to feel no emotional attachment. Those are all human emotions. Not because they’re good and shining, but because they’re petty and terrible. Ajimu is this brilliant character, but she’s also kind of just a petty little girl using a ‘fiction is reality’ lens to cope. She’s not that special actually, she’s just suicidal, and kind of awful in general. It’s nice to see that human side behind the mastermind character. 

Azula

“My own mother thought I was a monster. She was right of course but it still hurts.” 

Azula is someone thoroughly dehumanized by everyone even the “good” members of her family (Uncle Iroh, Zuko, her Mother). I like how Azula in some part seems to be aware that both her brother, and mother seem to kind of consider her the “bad sibling” and she just decides to embrace it. Like it’s... not emotionally healthy in any way and it’s terribly tragic but there’s something about characters who actively make the decision to be a monster that gets me. 

There’s something about Azula’s writing that makes me uncomfortable, and it makes me sad that Zuko like... continually associates her with his father’s abuse, and demonizes her like she wasn’t also a kid going through the exact same situation, but Azula getting increasingly unstable is at least an appropriate response to that. 

Even if her brother, her mother, or her father won’t see her as her own person and they all see her as an extension of her father’s abuse on her, Azula is just so determined to be her own person even if it means burning the world, or herself A common theme I guess, but a lot of these characters have narratives about not being allowed to be their own person or shown any kind of humanity or normalcy. 

Morrigan

“Well, well, well what do we have here?”

Morrigan is mean, and nasty, and grumpy and bitchy and witchy. She’s allowed to be unlikable, because Morrigan never bends to anyone. Her survival, and freedom will become first before anything else. 

It feels like Morrigan is the main character in her own story, and you just happen to be a part of it for a short while. You may even be an important character to her, she may be attached, but ultimately you’ll never be more than support to her. 

Morrigan is such an ambitious an singular entity that her character development is letting you be a part of her life and not the other way around. She'll always survive on her own.  Morrigan is irrevocably shaped by her environemnt, and yet she craves freedom in that too because she doesn’t want to be bound by her past or shaped by her mother. So much of herself is dedicated to being better than the environment that she was raised in that she defeats her mother not by killing her, or freeing herself, but rather by being a better mother than her. 

Raven / Rachel Roth

“Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos...” 

Raven is fun, because a bunch of monks thought the best way to teach her to handle her emotions was to never allow her to feel any emotion ever. So, Raven is eternally running on a zero. She’s terrified even a small amount of happiness will end the world. She’s not allowed to be her own person, neither her bastard father, nor the monks treat her like one.

Raven is so gentle, and selfless, and emotionally perceptive and sensitive to others needs but she can’t ever display almost any of these good traits because she’s internalized the idea that she’s such a bad person. She always believes all the time that she exists to hurt others and that makes it so difficult for her to connect to others. 

Which is why her true friends bond with the Teen Titans is so meaningful, because Rachel found a family in spite of all of that. She has friends who think she’s a good person unconditionally despite the fact that Raven continually tells herself she isn’t. There are people in the world willing to navigate the maze of walls that Raven has built around herself, and that her environment forced her to build and closed up, and she’s so happy to have them. 

Midna

“Some call our realm a world of shadows, but that makes it sound so unpleasant... The twilight there holds a serene beauty... You have seen it yourself as the sun sets on this world. Bathed in that light, all the people were pure and gentle...” 

Midna just steals the show. Her story now. The game’s not called Legend of Zelda anymore now it’s Legend of Midna. Not only is she the most important character in the game she appears in, but she’s also in character someone so selfish she’ll always prioritize herself over everyone else. However, only because she feels that she can’t exist as anything other than the princess of the twilight and has to prioritize her survival for the sake of her people. Midna even says so at the start of the game, she can’t be kind because she wasn’t spoiled like princess Zelda in the bountiful kingdom of the light. 

Midna is so selfish and yet doesn’t really have her own wants and needs as a person outside of the role she has to play for her people, which is why she’s so terribly lost without it and just because this terrible selfish little gremlin. Link and Zelda affect Midna so much because they humanize her. They both sacrifice themselves to save Midna the person and she doesn’t get why. She doesn’t get why two people would help someone who has been so unkind to them and who has failed them this much so far. 

That act of selflessness moves her, and also freaks her out. She even says she didn’t want to be saved by either of them. Which is what makes her redemption in the second half of the game so interesting, because Midna really improves herself so she can become someone worth their kindness. She doesn’t want the selflessness of people like Zelda and Link to go to waste, and because of that begins to care about things outside of her kingdom and her role as princess 

Vriska Serket

“After all of this is over. Do you want to go on a d8?”

Unfortunately one of my top 3 favorite characters of all time comes from a really terrible source material. Vriska is everything I like in a character.  She's a mess. She's really hard to swallow. She's a character that's not meant to be liked.

Nobody really likes Vriska and it's all her fault for being such a horrible person, nobody wants her damage. Which is so interesting because usually main characters get forgiven over and over again. Everyone leaves and if they don't Vriska will burn those bridges herself. No character better embodies what it's like to be stuck in a self harming cycle

Authors are always so obsessed with making characters look good or showing what a good person they are few characters are allowed to be just plain unlikely in ugly ways. It’s what lets Vriskas genuine desire to be better actually seem like a struggle. 

Kocho Shinobu

“Are you angry? Yes, I’m angry Tanjiro. I’ve always been angry.” 

Shinobu is just all pleasantries on the surface, but so full of negative emotions in ways women aren't allowed to be. I love the medicine / poison dynamic to her character and how it rots her to the core. Too much medicine is a poison, while poison can be a medicine when applied to the right situation.

Shinobu is, two faced. She’s beautiful and kind, and full of ugly emotions and empty. She nurses people back from the dead, she sees no point in living herself and purposefully throws herself into a suicide in her plan against Doma. There’s just such a destructive dance between extremes for her because Shinobu is such a unique individual, trying to deal with all of these emotions she just can’t deal with. She can’t be noble, or better than her trauma, she just pretends to be a good person while she slowly rots away inside.  

Shinobu can put on smiles all day -

But she can't be like her sister.  She can't love people like her sister can. Maybe she could once but all that's left now is anger. Bitter, unpleasant, and completely in denial of it and still masquerading as a good person. The most beautiful kind of poison of all.

She’s not her sister, but she’s also not really her own person. She doesn’t know who Shinobu is, doesn’t know who Kocho Shinobu lives for. She just doesn’t imagine herself living past her revenge, and even though she’s surrounded by love she’s just so cracked it all pours out of her and absolutely nothing could be worth prolonging her life after everything she’s lost. 

Toga Himiko

“What exactly is a normal life? I also live a normal life, you know.” 

Himiko Toga is a girl who lives entirely on her own terms. Which is just so rare for a female character, you know? It’s so genuinely subversive to know that Himiko was once a nice girl, who always smiled, always put other people’s feelings first, and that sort of ‘good girl’ behavior drove her completely insane.

Toga deciding to be true to herself is an act of rebellion against the world. 

For Himiko everything is flipped. What others regard as psycho behavior is her normal. She doesn’t let other people define her story as a tragedy, and even murders the one person who tries to control her story. In a story where female characters constantly downplay their own importance to support the male characters Himiko is the only character important enough to be the center of her own story. Himiko’s story is so subversive as well, both of how society treats her, and how the story treats characters like her. 

Himiko is such an excellent yandere, all yanderes wish they were himiko. She comes off as this batshit stabby girl,  but then you find out that shes actually emotionally perceptive. She first comes off selfish, bratty, and self-centered but she turns into one of the most sensitive characters in the manga. She eschews the ideals of being a good girl that was forced down her throat, but that doesn’t mean she’s not empathic, or that she’s not capable of goodness. She’s good to twice. She’s good to the people who accept her. 

Himiko no matter what will always be a deviant. Always be an outsider. Instead of trying to make room for her her parents forced her to lie and wear a mask until her identity became completely shattered. I like Toga because under the knife wielding psycho she's a normal girl. Then under that normal girl there’s also a knife wielding psycho ready to fight back, and both of them are the real her. 

Ihei Hairu

“I saw the reaper, he was very beautiful.” 

Every character from the garden is just fundamentally broken.  Hairu and Rize are interesting foils, because if you think of about it a loveless childhood turned them both into ruthless killers. It’s just they decided to live for different things, Rize lived rejecting love and Hairu lived chasing after love. However, fundamentally they are the same. They are children starved for any kind of love or nurturing.  Hairu is so desperate she devotes her entire life to the first person who acknowledged her. However, the same sort of desperation to live, that tragic need to make the most out of the few short years they have exists in all garden children.

Hairu wants so badly to be a person, but she’s not a person. She’s half ghoul. 

There's just something about a girl who was never meant to be born and never meant to live, still trying.  There's a dark side to her character, she's violent and inhuman exactly like the environment she was raised in but she was also still a child at heart seeking love.

Which is why though her narrative is a thoroughly unhappy one, it does make me happy that there was someone who loved her in the form of Koori Ui. There is someone who wanted her to live longer. Her life was short, but she did live, and it’s that struggle to connect to others that made her truly alive. 

[ghostmartyr]

Are you still watching RWBY? What did you think of Volume 8 overall

VOLUME 9 NEVERLAND SAGA WHERE NO ONE CAN HIDE FROM THEIR TRAUMA OR THEIR FRIENDS BY TRYING TO STOP IRONWOOD FROM BLOWING UP HALF THE KINGDOM HE’S SUPPOSEDLY PROTECTING WHILE ALL THEIR OTHER FRIENDS AND ALLIES THINK THEY’RE DEAD.

POGCHAMP.

I enjoyed Volume 8, but I think it stumbles at the end enough to look back at its time management and feel not totally great about it.

Cinder’s development is solid. I’m still not very attached to her, but she has attained my interest at long last. Good for you, Cinder. Solve your emotional problems with murder. Kill Watts. Give Neo a reason to go back to trying to kill you. Make yet another mortal enemy. I support these actions.

Emerald’s flip means she won’t have sad eyes over all the atrocities she’s playing witness to while the timer goes down on her defection anymore, and that’s cool.

Ironwood’s everything is... well. Yeah. Great. Nothing like watch someone destroy themself. Oh, and everything else around them in the process. Once he got started, it was pretty clear where he was going, and that’s just sad. He goes from hugging Qrow and finding relief in his allies to shooting all of them. Shooting Jacques along the way does not even that out.

The Ace-Ops felt too cluttered for the final parts. They’re the cautionary tales, obviously, but I don’t think we get enough time detailing them for them to be on the same stage as Winter coming into her own and RWBY falling into oblivion. Qrow and Robyn get the slow burn and then the panicked call to immediate action, but for the Ace-Ops, Marrow and Harriet are the only ones who the narrative actively does something with. Marrow’s problems are obvious from the start, and Harriet’s emotional heat hints, and then reveals, a depth of trauma that this system has been crap at handling. But Vine and Elm, the critical pieces in talking her down, and centerpieces of keeping Mantle from blowing up, aren’t prominent enough in the narrative for their place in its resolution to feel quite earned. I think if we’d gotten an extra episode it would have worked a little better. As it was, I was left wanting more focus on the central cast.

Which is kind of why I’m so thrilled that RWBY+J are maybe stuck spending some quality time together. The macro plot matters, obviously, but they’ve been moving so fast. Atlas feels like a speedrun of a kingdom falling, and a little more interplay between my faves would be very welcome.

Then there’s the obvious.

Oh, Penny.

I can’t feel good about Penny’s handling in the end.

The Winter Maiden, as soon as we’re introduced, is waiting to die and offer her power to the next one in line. Winter was intended for that, but Penny interrupts.

Two days later, Winter has the power, and Penny’s dead.

This is necessary so that Winter has time to center what she actually believes before she’s upgraded to demigodhood. Winter as the Winter Maiden leading into Volume 8 would have kept her on Ironwood’s script. The disruption of expectations that leaves her vulnerable forces her to respond to what is going on, not what her side believes should be going on.

It makes sense to delay Winter’s ascension, because it gives Winter perspective that she can’t access as long as she’s in her chain of established command.

Making Penny’s value tie entirely back to supporting someone else’s story. She’s allowed to be a real girl, she’s allowed to fight for what she believes in, she’s allowed to have friends, but becoming the Winter Maiden serves Winter’s storyline more than it serves Penny’s.

Which isn’t to say they do nothing with her. Obviously, the virus making the vault look good creates a variety of opportunities. Sure, they could have filled in another domino without Penny specifically, but she’s an instrumental part of getting them inside that vault in how the story goes.

Creating a new body for her is a complicated thing. Penny’s a real girl no matter what her form is, but if you say that while cutting out the nuts and bolts -- it’s a little mixed. In the most benign way I can put my preferences, I like Penny being a robot. I’m thrilled she knows how warm a hug can feel (Pietro, patch notes, get on it), but...

Before Watts causes problems on purpose, Penny shows a little hesitance about not being your standard model of girl, but unless I’ve been worse about my watching comprehension than I thought, she doesn’t have any burning need for flesh. Changing her body is the best solution they can up with in response to her agency being violated.

It’s not my favorite thing in the world. I don’t think it’s entirely good faith to pin all of the possible unfortunate implications on it, but they exist, and they are there. And on the flip side, being granted a body that is created through nothing but who you are is a sentiment that I’m sure resonates with a lot of people. I think there’s a lot to observe in what Penny’s going through, and it’s worth discussion more than angry words.

Except before there’s a chance to collect opinion polls on that, we once again have her asking for death before she hurts her friends.

I believe there’s a post on LotR somewhere that explains why people are okay with it being a mood shift from The Hobbit. People aren’t huge fans of media they consume invalidating media they previously invested in.

Penny dies, then she comes back. Then she dies.

Penny interrupts the inevitability of Winter becoming the Winter Maiden. Then Winter becomes the Winter Maiden.

It feels like a zero sum game, but a zero sum game where our emotions were torqued around for the sake of it, and the object of said torquing is being utilized as a plot object prior to being a character.

Penny obviously has a lot of personality, and a lot of established emotional ties. She’s not just a lamp standing in a corner.

But to use the apt metaphor, you can see the strings. Penny’s trajectory seems to be moving under its own velocity -- but then that ending hits. Despite going through all of the steps to make sure that Penny doesn’t have to sacrifice herself to keep the people she loves safe, despite actually being really creative and clever about doing everything possible to keep her alive --

The plot demands her death.

It isn’t good enough to fix the pressing issue that made sacrifice look good. Sacrifice is still the ultimate answer.

Thematically, that doesn’t jive with the story we’ve been getting.

Emotionally, what the fuck, could we not.

(What’s better than the cute robot girl begging for death? Doing it twice!)

People who are in a more optimistic state about fiction at the moment have noted that Pinocchio does do a lot of dying, and I do like the read of Penny as Jiminy Cricket. Considering the full context of the world, there’s more to justify a return than a lot of characters get. It wouldn’t be the most shocking thing ever.

It’s still kind of fucked up. Penny doesn’t kill herself, but she asks others to kill her, and that’s her being a good girl.

The National Suicide Hotline gets its number placed in the summary of the episode.

Obviously there’s more to it than that, but the implications are there, and a very painful thorn when looking over the rest of her. Creating an environment where it makes sense for this character to kill themself, it’s noble, even --

I don’t think that’s a route of story that the available material handles gracefully.

It’s the “twice” that really hammers the point down into the coffin. It creates a pattern of behavior in Penny. Once, and okay. Heroic sacrifice plays are always a major source of drama, exemplifying how Good the person making the sacrifice is, and how Tragic it is that we’re losing such a good person, all because they have principles and just love these other people so much.

Only if you have a character asking someone to kill them twice in relatively quick succession, the callback isn’t to feats of heroics. It’s suicidal tendencies.

If you’re not prepared to deal with implications of that magnitude, you’ve got to make the link a lot less suggestive. Otherwise you’re telling a new story whether you like it or not, and it’s not one you��re ready for, drastically upping the odds that it’s not going to be the most polished thing ever.

What the issue becomes then, in my personal opinion, is pacing (’hey self why is the answer always pacing’ ‘because shut up’). Penny’s joy of life is a blip in between her asking for death. The heroic nature of her desire for death mixed with the awful despair of her actual death makes this endpoint of her story saturated with a darkness that sours the entire experience.

Complicating it further is the issue of trust.

The writers killed her and brought her back just to kill her again. If they do bring her back again, the faith is kind of broken. Once you show that you’re willing to move a character around like a piece on a chessboard, your audience isn’t going to trust the story enough to invest. They’re going to be looking for the strings. For a complicated special effect that takes a lot of strings, that’s a pain, because the agreement with stories is supposed to be that yes, there are strings, that’s our medium.

If you don’t trust the writers, you are not going to believe in the story.

For my personal taste, if the writers are doing something more with Penny, their presentation has made it difficult for me to see value in the journey, even if the destination happens to be something I ultimately approve of.

Anyway Robyn needs to officially adopt Qrow. He has been a bad guy bandit, now he can be a good guy bandit.

He can be the Happy Huntresses’ cute animal mascot.

That is all that matters.

That is my one, solitary thought on the entire volume.

Thanks for the ask!

[ziracona]

hey zira, what are your hot takes on all of the fo4 companions?

Haha, I don’t know how hot they are, but I can give you a speed run! (Also I am very excited to get this. FO4 was the first open world game I ever played and just the concept of that and the hugeness of the world and branching story & sudden feeling changes towards me in companion characters totally blew my mind, & it still lives rent free in my heart).

Ada, Old Longfellow, and Strong I /still/ haven’t maxed despite having too many hundred hours to want to list on this game—the former bc they were DLC, Strong because honest to god I left him at a nice settlement and then completely forgot about him and remembering that I am the energy in this Ryan O’Flanagan video but abt leaving my super mutant in a tiny settlement alone. I will get there! To max affinity I mean. But anyway, I don’t truly know those three, so my takes are incomplete. So far though, I really like Ada. She is a good girl just trying her best. Fucks me up I can tell her to self destruct. Even though I feel sure she would ignore me, I cannot imagine ever saying that to her. It was really sweet she was willing to forgive the Mechanist and move on with her life. A good girl. Longfellow I am maxing rn (was last time I played anyhow). I enjoy him. Gruff grumpy old man but he seems quite decent and I like his idle banter and when he sings to himself a lot. Seems like he’s had it rough. Strong I liked. He’s wild, and I loved how insane meeting him was, and am worried about him eventually understanding poetry and how that might mess up his sense of world understanding. But he’s a chill dude in his own way and I am glad they gave us at least one nice super mutant.

For the companions I actually do know like the back of my hand, the speedrun:

Nick Valentine: Best man on earth. One of two fictional characters I ever called husband. I would die kill or live for him. I want to be 1/4th the man Nick Valentine is. One of the best characters ever period and I adore literally everything about him. It fucked me up early in game where right after he offered to basically risk destroying his mind to help a stranger look for her son, he asked me how I was doing. First character in the entire game to do that. His first companion dialogue is abt how you’re doing TuT. The man is very kind and forgiving and fair, but knows when the draw the line and take no shit. Emotionally mature, kind, caring, longsuffering. Incredibly damaged and broken by life, but holding on and living kindly and to help others anyway. One of the four most marryablen fictional men I’ve ever seen.

Preston Garvey: Brave, kind, sweet man. I would defend him with my life. He really just wants so bad to make the world better and life has been so hard, but he’s still trying. A beautiful and underrated companion and I would throw hands for him on sight. I adore how he whistles. A true and gentle and loyal friend. Take him to Quincy and let him get his justice it’s what he deserves. People who hate him because he tries to get help helping civilians in that game are weak. I love him so much... please give him enough time to reach max affinity he’s so worth it.

Deacon: *To the tune of You Are My Dad* You are my friiiiend! You’re my friend! (Boogie woogie woogie). Initially, he pissed me off bc he lies all the god damn time, but after we got close enough he actually trusted me, he stole my heart and I would also die for Deacon. He’s a really good person who thinks he’s shit because of who he was on his past. Also him 🤝 Preston: massive survivor’s guilt. They should be friends. Poor Deacon has been the last member of the Railroad like four times, and it’s awful. Help him. Give him love and support. He’s one of my all time faves. Also, Railroad hands down best faction and if you kill them for any reason other than like a walkthrough route video and I ever get the chance I would 100% clock you in the face as hard as I can, like going for losing teeth, and feel no guilt. I know it’s a game and that’s wrong, and I’d be wrong, but I’d still do it. Also, Ryan Alosio (his VA) saw me do cosplay for Deacon once and told me it was great and it filled me with even more love. Anyway Deacon is great. Also, his whole “There are other organisations out there. And, in time, I'm sure they're going to spoon-feed you their own patented form of bullshit. Ignore the verbage and look at what they're doing. What they're asking you to do. What sort of world they'd have you build and how they're going to pay for it.” Is one of the like, two most iconic quotes in all of FO4 & just super good in general.

Hancock: Hardcore badass man but also a good dude and a champion for the people. Man really puts his money where his mouth is and you gotta respect that; another favorite companion for sure. Big fan of the way he stabs a guy for you upon meeting, and is a cool leader who organized his crime and does a decent job actually leading. He works hard to help people and bites back hard. Social justice advocate, dangerous man about town, not afraid to cosplay a revolutionary war hero 24/7 & u gotta respect the no fucks given attitude. A chill dude. Like that he fights the institute, hates the Brotherhood, helps the Railroad, and is friends with Nick. He’s legit af. Also, his VA gives a different answer every time someone asks him about the voice he did for hancock and they’re funny af.

Piper Wright: A cool spunky lady. Lois Lane on the case, kicking butt, and taking name. She’s nice but also hardcore and smart, supportive, fun. A good person. You always get points if you like Nick (which most companions do), and they’re good friends. She’s funny and I love her. A good heart.

Codsworth: He’s great. He’s family. He’s like my...weird brother. Getting to max affinity is heartwarming and also makes my heart go :’-] . Great early-game companion bc he kicks ass and doesn’t need stims to heal. I love getting called by my name and think that was a great feature (well, my PC’s name). He’s a wonderful funky little robot dude and I am so glad he likes me.

Dogmeat: Amazing. A good boy. Doggo of the year. His actor deserved the game award she won. Cute, full of love, and plays with a teddy bear if you give him one. 100/10z

Cait: I like her a lot. She’s been through so much shit, and it makes sense she is how she is. I like they actually gave her an emaciated and messy (though still pretty) design, since she is a drug addict. And that they make her main quest about taking that seriously and wanting to get help, and that she’ll call out the player if they fuck around and do drugs in front of her after she gets rehabilitated. Her relationship to the PC if good is really sweet, and I am a fan. I like that while she’s not sympathetic to synths and thinks they aren’t people, she forgets that every time Nick walks into a room and is like “Oh hey Nicky : )”. She’s a good girl who has been through a lot and still needs time to heal and find herself, but she’s making great strides.

Robert Joseph MacCready: Human disaster (loving). Homeboy a goddamn /mess/ but I love him. He tries so hard to be cool. I love he makes you pay him to come with, then chickens out and gives it back lol. A fool ball of anxiety and bad decisions and what he thinks brovado is. I wish he, Preston, and Deacon would quit fighting, bc I am always like “ :’-] </3 Boys Please” when they swap out, but I love them just the same. He’s doing his best, he’s just stupid and a fool. Like Philip J Fry. Keeping his goddamn soldier toy, which somehow is listed as junk instead of sent to Misc with quest items where it would be fine, safe?parylizes me with fear. I’ve lost 2 hours of gameplay reloading an old save bc I accidentally lost it.

X6-88: A more complex one to answer about. He’s bad, but like, I’m pretty sympathetic to how he got that way. He was created in a lab and had his emotions mostly dragged out of him in intense psychologically damaging training so he would be a weapon and view himself as an object. I was relieved he chose me over the institute even if he wasn’t a fan of the chocie, and think that means there’s a lot of hope for him. Wish he’d chill the fuck out and quit intimidating civilians for 6 god damn seconds, but I like him. I bring him fancy lad snack cakes home from travels all the time, bc Synths are supposed to like them. Really like that he’s the /most/ sympathetic companion towards Danse in Blind Betrayal, even though he should not be programmed for that, and Danse hated him and made it clear any time they interacted.

(EDIT) Curie: I FORGOT HER BABY IM SO SORRY. I like Curie a lot, despite the fact I temporarily forgot she existed. I stg I thought she was in here. Uhhh, okay. Curie: like her character and personality, HUGE un-fan of both the way her desire to get a synth body is to be ‘more real,’ as if Codsworth isn’t a fully realized person while the same robot type she is, instead of just like. Because it would make her happy. ALSO hate how much of a Born Sexy Yesterday she is, even intentionally in not-determinate affinity talks. It’s gross. But her herself, I like a lot. She’s my daughter and I will protect her. She works at The Castle right now as their on-site medic.

Paladin Danse: I know I’m gonna take heat for this but honestly? He didn’t do much for me. I like that he looks and sounds kinda like Buzz Lightyear, and that’s fun, but idk at all why people think he’s so hot. He’s very boring & generic looking to me. Like you’re valid! Taste all be different. But he doesn’t do it for me personally in looks or personality. I don’t at all like, hate him. Or even dislike. Tbh I am fairly neutral on him. It was funny making affinity with him though. Every other companion I had maxed, I liked more and more with each affinity talk. They’d be like “So my dad was a minuteman and died and I want to honor him” or “I just want to really feel like I’m a person, for real, myself, and I am glad I met you, because the good we have achieved together is ours, even if I can’t be sure of anything else,” or “My brother threw the cultural minorities out of our city for clout bc the rich citizens were all racist, and I tried to help—I snuck them food to the unsafe ruins they set up in for weeks, but eventually, they just vanished, and I still bear immense guilt and self-hatred over not having stopped that.” And Danae’s would be like “One time a buddy of mine got kidnapped by super mutants. They turned him into one of them, and they’re all abominations, so I killed him and it made me really sad.” And I was just like “...Oh danse. I really wanted to like you more. But what the fuck.” His relationship to Haylen is sweet though. And ofc I saved him in Blind Betrayal. I blew up the Prydwin so he’s safe now too, and he lives in the garden by my house and tells me how glad he is we’re friends, and I’m p into that. Overall, my feelings on him are not strong at all though.

Porter Gage: Not a fan. Like, I appreciated he helped me kill the old boss, sure. And bc I owed him for that, I went to max affinity to see what there was to him as a person. And like, as far as raiders go, he was okay. But he wasn’t deeply sympathetic, and he’s a slaver, and if you try to liberate the slaves he and the others own, he /will/ turn on and attempt to murder you immediately, no matter how close you were, so he made his choice, and it was to be a bad person and an asshole to the last. Really enjoyed the VA’s work a lot on him tho.

And there you have it 👈👈😎. Thanks for asking!

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

me in 2012/2013 reading the first hunger games book because it was popular bc of the movie: ooh seems cool but super political so that’s not cool bc political stuff is boring and stupid and not something that i’ll ever have to understand. plus all katniss does is fucking whinge. she’s so whiny. it’s annoying. guess i won’t read the rest of the books or watch the other movies.

me now, in my mid 20s having finally watched all the hunger games movies, having read the first two HG books in full and still reading mockingjay, all because suzanne collins was like “oh hey here’s a new book about president snow!” and also thinking about how the world is practically in ruins by 2020: yknow what? suzy has a fucking point! of course katniss is whiny, teenage me, she comes from the poorest district in the whole of Panem; where wealth is basically non existent except for those who live in shops. the capitol loves to watch 24 kids die each year while they live in extreme comfort and fancy, whereas every district from 2 down to 12 are all slaves to the capitol: even if they have some better off people in the districts, that work for the army (district 2) or run the electronics factories in district 3 or whatever else in the other districts. besides the motto of Panem’s capitol being “breads and circuses” which are provided by the districts; which katniss and peeta meet in Catching Fire, at the party for their state media orchestrated wedding (Y I K E S™️ am i right?) where octavia (one of katniss’ stylists) invites both katniss and peeta to use some funny concoction to make themselves throw up in the bathroom to fit more of the overly decadent capitol food dishes into their stomachs. talk about “waste not, want not” somewhere else away from katniss; because she’s literally almost starved to death and seen others starve to death countless times in district 12. and surely you could’ve recognised the reference to “bread and circuses” at least, after fucking studying ancient rome for two whole fucking terms in year 11, teenage me????

in addition to the above, the victors of the hunger games are forever terrorised by the government via various means; and especially so if they’ve defied the capitol like katniss & peeta or even haymitch (though that isn’t partly revealed til halfway through catching fire and wholly revealed through haymitch in mockingjay). they torture peeta to insanity, basically and then seemingly “deliver” him back to katniss in district 13 programmed to kill her!!!! they parade the tributes like beauty pageant contestants and animals for slaughter at a cattle show in district 10; right after training them as killing machines for the arena, where they’ll exhibit their newly honed murdering skills before an entire nation each day. like girl!!!! there’s so much to relate to the real world in this text!!! but you’re just going to brush it off because it’s “too political” and because “katniss is a whiny bitch!!!”??? like of course she’s whiny! she’s 16/17!!! just like you!!! but you’re just an asshole. learn to empathise with other fictional characters that A R E N T harry potter and the cast of characters in that series, for fucks sake. or alternatively, learn to empathise with characters that A R E N T ellie linton and her friends in the tomorrow series doing their guerilla fighting during a war in australia. because by Mockingjay, katniss is as much a guerilla fighter as ellie is a rebel fighter against the enemy country that invades australia in the tomorrow series. like yes, the tomorrow series isn’t set in a futuristic american post-apocalyptic hellscape like Panem. but that doesn’t mean that the state war that’s fully raging in mockingjay and breaking out in catching fire, due to the quarter quell and the former tributes being recruited again to go through the Murder Olympics™️/Hunger Games again as a form of state sanctioned terrorisation on their psyches, and those victors becoming enemies of Panem due to them voicing their feelings of injustice about being forced to compete in the arena again during their interviews...... is not the same as ellie in normal but war-torn 1990s australia; where ellie and her crew of friends basically become state enemies because of their large scale guerilla activities like blowing up enemy ships and airfields. just like how katniss and gale blow up bombing airships from the capitol in district 8 with their bomb loaded arrows or blow up the military base with rebel army fighters in district 2 in mockingjay. but yeah. just learn to empathise and connect with/relate to characters outside of your incredibly limited reading palate.

moreover, 7-8 years into the future in 2020, the world is in political turmoil, believe it or not. maybe you’ll relate to katniss as you grow more tired of the aussie government forever penalising the younger generations by taking away penalty rates on weekend and public holiday shifts in an already terrifyingly precarious job market that’s become highly casualised/part-time based, which is pricing them out of the property market also, due to lower wages/earnings bc part-time/casual roles don’t pay very well. then on top of that, having a generation defining pandemic. then thirdly, also having the worst set of bushfires in 2019 and earlier this year, that saw like 55million native animals die and millions upon millions of hectares of bushland be burnt to the ground. finally, they’ve made your dream arts degree basically unobtainable due to raising the fees by 113% to $43,500 instead of the $23,000 that it was when i graduated from that degree in 2018. also if you fail they want you to pay your fees upfront instead of relying on hecs to cover it all. all because it’s apparently for “saving the aussie economy.” are you pissed now, teenage me?

across the seas in america, however, donald trump is leading the country as president and he’s turning the country you bizarrely loved more than your home country (due to all the american docos and teen shows you watched/were watching) into a fascist shitshow which is killing millions of people. like i won’t be surprised if donald trump (or even scott morrison/scommo/scummo) if he/they get/s another term in office, and tries to introduce a hunger games style olympic games or something all so the poorest classes learn their place after rioting for most of this year over BASIC FUCKING HUMAN RIGHTS FOR BLACK LIVES MATTER (even here in australia too); because the police are turning into the brutal peacekeepers of Panem, but on a worldwide scale.

like if they introduced some type of HG style murder olympics, they’d do it just to prove that they may have actually read something other than their own stupid self-aggrandising and country/state-destroying twitter rants before they post them.

[soul-music-is-life]

Hey!!!! I was wondering if you could do like the tiniest Drabble of em and Ali finding out their having another baby? That Ali’s pregnant with Sam?

The lovely people in my asks: “Emison prompts please?”

Me: *re-emerges years after apocalypse, sees asks are still in inbox, waves arms around in vast wasteland shouting* “DID SOMEONE SAY EMISON?”

You all have been asking for quite some time. Sorry the delivery has taken forever. Apparently the package got lost in the mail. Or the delivery driver read it and liked it and decided they wanted to keep it all to themselves. 

Seriously though, I haven’t forgotten about you all. I think about my PLL fam often. The state of the world has been a bitter pill to swallow for a lot of people, especially during quarantine. It’s an isolating time. I know the importance of needing an escape. I’ve been working on my Emison fics “The Dawn of Autumn” and “The Heart of Beacon Heights” but haven’t done a little ficlet in ages. I have so many sweet and loyal people who still follow me despite my years of fictional torture. And I just wrote this fluff as a thank you. Hope that it brings a little light into the world. We need more of that good light.

This is unedited. I wrote it in about half an hour at 2 in the morning, so if you find mistakes please send your notes to my inner critic. She will deal with them promptly.

***

Alison was hunched over on the edge of the bed, her knees bouncing as she anxiously tapped her feet against the carpet. She rubbed her palms against her jeans and exhaled a heavy breath.

Not many things made her nervous. She’d gone through a lot over the years. It had helped her develop a heavy outer armor. She had learned how to face adversity with her head held high. She had gone through a tremendous amount of growth with the help of Emily’s love and the love of their children. And several years of therapy.  

Her most recent session had her opening up about her fears and insecurities as a mother, and about whether or not she wanted to carry another child.

She felt the bed shift and then felt a comforting hand in between her shoulder blades.

Emily’s warmth was a force in her life that nothing else had ever come close to. Nothing compared to the way she felt about her wife.

The brunette was always there to calm her nerves. Every time. They’d been faced with some incredibly hard times. They’d endured a lot.

Even after everything had settled down...after all the torture had stopped...after they’d found their bliss...things still weren’t perfect.

They’d talked about expanding their family for a while. They’d been waiting until they’d found some stability, both emotionally and financially. After Alison landed her job as a professor at Hollis and Emily got her position at a prestigious swim academy that trained young hopefuls for the Olympics they’d found a stride...a balance between work and home.

That’s when the talks of having another baby had come up. They’d discussed it for months. The girls were old enough that they’d established a certain independence. And Alison and Emily missed having a little one around. Grace and Lily had stopped wanting to cuddle after they started middle school. They missed it.

Emily wanted to carry, so they’d gone through the process. They’d tried several times. The first time it didn’t take. The second time it took, but after six weeks they’d lost the baby.

It had been difficult to waver. Emily had wanted to try one more time, but after some routine testing her doctor discovered that she had uterine damage that made it very unlikely that she’d ever be able to carry a child to term. It had gone undiagnosed previously, but they found out it was from ill-effects from the torture she’d endured over the years.

That had left them with the choice of adoption or giving Alison the opportunity to carry.

Emily didn’t want to push her into it. She knew that Alison didn’t have fond memories of her previous pregnancy. She knew that having the twins had damaged her psychologically. So she didn’t ask.

They’d been laying in bed looking at adoption brochures one night when out of the blue Alison told Emily that she was open to the idea of carrying the baby. She’d been working through a lot of her past in therapy and she thought she was ready for the next step.

“Are you sure?” Emily had gently taken the brochure out of Alison’s hand. She would love any child that came into their lives. She didn’t want Alison to feel pressured. “You’re sure you’re ready?”

“I wasn’t at first. But I can’t let my past control me forever. There’s something about this...” She’d chewed on her lip.

Color flushed her cheeks and she smiled softly. The same vulnerable smile that Emily had seen hundreds of times when they were in high school. The smile that was reserved for her. And her alone.

“I know what happened with Lily and Grace wasn’t...we didn’t exactly ask for it or plan it. But I wouldn’t trade those girls for anything.”

“If Grace keeps mouthing off to her teachers I might consider trading her.” Their wild child was constantly in some kind of trouble.

Alison laughed. She appreciated Emily’s unwavering sense of humor. It helped calmed her racing mind.

“You know, that pregnancy...God, it was so hard...”

“I know.” Emily took her hand and peered at her with a soft expression.

It was a look that could only be shared and understood between the two of them. Because they both knew what it was like to have choices taken away from them...to have things thrust upon them that could never be completely overcome. It was something they would live with for the rest of their lives. But they shared that pain. They’d gone through that tumultuous journey together.

“I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting about this. And even though the pregnancy with the twins...it...it nearly destroyed me...”

Emily saw her retreating into herself sometimes when she thought back over those memories. But there was something different in her expression tonight. A newfound sense of confidence. It’s like she had chosen a direction, and she knew exactly where she was going.

“This isn’t the same. I...I want this. We’ve wanted this for so long, Em. And I realized that I actually have a choice this time. And it clicked. That’s what’s important to me. I...” she’d paused and then looked up at Emily, “WE...we get to make the decision this time. And that’s the biggest difference.”

She had watched Emily with their girls over the years, and she had fallen even more in love with her than she realized was possible. She was a beautiful person and a beautiful mom. And Alison woke up every morning thankful that someone like Emily loved someone like her.

Their family had started out from a broken place, but they’d picked up the pieces together and they’d created something beautiful along the way. And Alison wanted more of that.

She had threaded her fingers between Emily’s, interlocking their hands. She’d put her other hand on top of their joined fingers.

“I want to do this for us. I want to have our baby.”

Emily had been completely speechless. Alison was constantly surprising her with her courage and the depth of her strength. How was it possible she’d taken for granted just how incredibly resilient the blonde was? She looked at her and she saw the epitome of determination. A fighting spirit.

She was certain she’d never loved her more.

“I love you so much.” Emily turned towards Alison with a watery smile. She reached up and placed her palm against the side of Alison’s neck, leaning forward to capture her lips.

Alison could feel her emotions in her movements. She could feel it in the way that Emily gently stroked her cheek and brushed her hair aside.

“I love you, too.” Alison pulled back, tears of joy in her eyes.

There were moments in life that defined certain unspoken love between two people. There were moments that put them in a world all to themselves, where all there was...all that existed...was their love. Sometimes words were meaningless. Sometimes it was quiet little moments that people shared in which the most powerful exchanges of love were experienced.

Emily gently cupped Alison’s face and kissed her forehead tenderly. The warm smile on Emily’s face had sparked an even deeper meaning behind Alison’s choice. She looked at her wife and she saw pure joy. And she felt pure joy. She looked at Emily and she knew that everything was going to be okay. She knew that no matter what...they were going to be okay.

She had the most loyal woman in the world by her side. It had stripped her of her nerves that night. She knew they’d made the right decision for their family. In an odd way, it had taken the looming pressure of her past off of her.

But that had been months ago. Months before the fertility treatments and the hormone injections and the IVF procedure. That had been months before she’d started hoping and wishing. Months before she’d started picturing their child. What their baby would look like. How much her heart would melt when she saw their baby for the first time...first smile...first laugh. She started picturing what they wanted.

And now she was terrified they wouldn’t get it. They’d already had two failed attempts. Could they survive a third? They had spent their entire lives waiting for the other shoe to drop. Any time something good happened in their lives they were inevitably faced with something bad that ripped their happiness away from them.

When they’d bought the test Alison had felt her anxiety rising. The nerves had returned.

She glanced over at the pregnancy test on the edge of the dresser. She’d been shaking so much after she’d taken it. Emily had led her to the bed and made her sit down and take several deep breaths. She didn’t want Alison to stress herself into an anxiety attack.

They’d set the timer and had been waiting together. It felt like it was taking an eternity. The last time she’d taken a pregnancy test she’d been physically repulsed at the idea of having a child. But this time she was experiencing a painful worry that she wouldn’t have a child.

Emily could feel Alison’s tension underneath her touch. She wrapped her arm around Alison’s shoulder and pulled her in for a hug. She kissed her temple.

“Ali, relax.” She pulled her close. “Whatever the outcome...we’re in it together, okay?”

Alison nodded nervously. Her mouth felt dry and sticky. She reached for the bottle of water that Emily had brought to her and took a sip.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been so impatient waiting on test results.” Alison curled her toes against the carpet.

“Remember when we were waiting on the girls’ placement tests?” Emily tried to take Alison’s mind off of the ticking time.

“Don’t remind me.” Alison scoffed.

Grace had tried to cheat by writing the answers on the back of her water bottle label. It was actually ingenious. If she put half as much energy into her school work as she spent trying to get around her school work she’d be at the top of her class with her sister.

“I thought Lily was going to have a nervous breakdown waiting for those results.” Emily reminisced.

Lily had always been their studious child. She was introspective and as sharp as a tack.

“What did we do to calm her down?” Alison asked.

“We rubbed bourbon on her gums and sang her to sleep just like when she was teething as a baby.” Emily waggled her brows with a grin.

Alison playfully smacked Emily’s arm. She’d forgotten all about when the girls were teething. That had been hell. But it had been worth it. There had been moments that her innocent little babies looked up at her with wide-eyed wonder that she’d never seen before. And it made her feel serene. She couldn’t wait to feel that again.

“Pretty sure we bought her a cell phone and told her to obsess over social media like a normal child,” Emily said. She shook her head. “That child and her test anxiety...I swear.” She glanced at Alison with a lighthearted smile. She poked Alison. “Wonder where she gets that from.”

“You know, we’ve spent so much time teaching them about the importance of rising to the occasion and passing their tests with flying colors. But this is the one test I wouldn’t want Lily and Grace to pass.” 

Emily made a face.

“God, we’re almost at the point where we need to sit down and have that conversation with them, aren’t we?”

“That’s all you. I handled the potty training. You handle the ‘don’t have sex or else your mothers will kill you’ thing.” Alison smiled.

“Or...we could teach them to be responsible about it. I’m not into scare tactics. They tend to have the opposite effect on people.”

Alison nodded in agreement. She’d certainly rebelled against her parents when they’d told her not to do things. Emily had, too.

“Whatever works. As long as we keep them off the pole and they don’t come home pregnant.”

“What a charming thought. You’re such a romantic.” Emily rolled her eyes, gently bumping against her with a playful smile.

“They’re good girls.” Alison felt herself relaxing. Her children had a way to her heart. “You think they’ll be okay with all of this?”

They’d spoken with the girls about the fact that they were trying to have another baby, but Lily and Grace had sort of waved it off like it wasn’t a possibility. Then again, they were just coming into their own as young teenagers, so they rarely listened to a word their mothers said.

“They’ll be fine,” Emily dropped her hand to Alison’s back and rubbed circles against the tension she was carrying.

Alison reached out and touched Emily’s knee, commanding her attention, drawing Emily’s eyes towards hers. Her lips twitched. A loving smile washed across her face.

“I really love you, you know.” She let out a content sigh.

“Well, I would hope so considering we’re married.” Emily grinned at her.

She got a lot of joy out of teasing Alison. She liked to see the spark in her eyes when she was flustered.

“Seriously.” Alison moved her palm up against Emily’s side, her fingers resting against her ribs. “I don’t think I realized how little I knew about love before you and the girls came into my life. It’s so much bigger than I ever knew. Have I ever thanked you for being so wonderful?”

“You don’t have to thank me for loving you, Alison. It is the most natural thing in the world for me.” Emily leaned over, their lips meeting for a chaste kiss. “I would do it over every time.”

“Maybe with a little less torture.” Alison added.

Emily chuckled.

Alison glanced at the timer. She watched as the clock rolled backwards from the sixty second mark. She felt her stomach tightening up in knots. Her heart started hammering in her chest. Her palms felt clammy.

“Breathe, sweetheart.” Emily tugged her into another hug, resting her chin on top of Alison’s head.

“I can’t believe how much I really want this,” she uttered under her breath.

It had been different with Lily and Grace. She certainly loved her little girls, but that pregnancy had been hell for her. She felt like she’d been alone on an island in the middle of a hurricane. She remembered feeling like her lungs were filling with water. But this time she felt like she was jogging along a beautiful beach...pushing desperately to reach a perfect destination with Emily in sync with her every step...right beside her.

She reached for Emily’s hand just as the timer beeped. Her head whipped towards the test on the dresser, but she looked away at the last second.

“I can’t look.” Alison shifted her feet and stood up, turning away from the dresser. She glanced at Emily. “Would you...”

Emily nodded, not needing to be prompted. She walked over to the test and picked it up to observe it.

Alison looked at her in anticipation, eagerly rubbing her hands together and licking her lips.

Emily pressed her lips together in thought, tilting her head with a furrowed brow, her eyes narrowed in concentration. Her mouth was twisted. Her nose was crinkled.

“Oh.” Alison felt deflated.

“Ali...” Emily slowly looked up at her.

Normally the blonde could read her wife like a book, but there was an expression in her eyes that she couldn’t decipher.

“Oh, God. It’s negative, isn’t it?” Alison dropped her head in defeat. They knew there was a possibility. They’d been through it before.

“Alison...”

“We...we’ll try again.” Alison cut her off. She reached up, running her fingers through her hair.

She was so consumed by her disappointment that she didn’t realize that Emily had moved next to her. She hadn’t seen the smile on her face.

“Hey...” Emily touched her cheek to get her attention.

Alison froze in place. She saw a glint in Emily’s eyes, a shocked expression on her face. She seemed to be having a hard time finding the right words to say. Tears were pooling in her eyes, but she was smiling.

Emily lifted the test up and Alison took it from her, her heart suddenly beating faster. Because she realized that the tears in her wife’s eyes were not tears of sorrow. They were tears of joy.

Alison stared at the positive test, a surprised laugh coming out of her mouth. Her eyes welled up with tears.

She looked at Emily. The brunette put her palm against Alison’s belly, knowing a bump would soon be growing.

“We’re going to have a baby.” Emily laughed through her tears.

Alison reached down and put her hand on top of Emily’s hand, holding it in place as she let the news sink in. Their baby was already growing. Their child was already carving out a space in their hearts. It was a glaring reminder that as they went about their daily business...they wouldn’t be alone. There would be a little child...a little piece of their heart coming to life.

She pictured tiny little hands. Baby toes. A button nose. Sweet coos and giggles. And the most kissable little face in the world.

After a few seconds she lurched forward, wrapping her arms around Emily’s neck. Joyous laughter filled the room.

“Oh my God! We’re having a baby!” Alison hung off of Emily’s shoulders and pulled back to press a hard kiss against her lips.

“A little you.” Tears were rolling down Emily’s cheeks. But she couldn’t stop laughing.

“Let’s hope this one takes after his or her Mama. I can’t deal with more of my attitude reflected back at me.” Alison sniffled, her cheeks rosy.

Emily looked at her, and she could suddenly see it. The glow. She wasn’t sure how she’d missed it before. She didn’t know why she’d doubted that the pregnancy would happen. Alison had been practically glowing for weeks. She could see a beautiful radiant aura around her.

Alison saw the adoration in her wife’s eyes. She shot her a bashful smile. It was crazy that after so many years together that Emily could still make her feel like she was back in high school, falling in love for the very first time. She still felt like that young kid crushing on her best friend. She felt loved in a way she’d never been loved.

Their hands naturally linked together. They shared a quiet intimate moment. The air in the room was tangible. Alison took a quivering breath, trying to center herself. Emily cupped her cheek. As always, Emily helped center her.

The moment was interrupted by a loud clatter and two squabbling teens.

“MOMS!” Grace burst into the room. “Lily stole my phone and changed the password, and I can’t get past the lock screen.”

“I’ll give you the password when you take down that picture you posted of me when I was being potty trained.” Lily had a smarmy look on her face.

She knew exactly how to get under her sister’s skin.

“I only put it up because you put up the video of me crying after a frog jumped on my arm.” Grace shoved her sister.

They spun towards their mothers to mediate their fight, but then they saw the tears.

Their faces dropped. They shot each other worried looks and then looked back at their parents. Grace’s brow was tight. Lily had her lips pressed into a thin line. They looked just like Emily when they were concerned.

“What’s wrong?” Grace’s voice quivered.

“Did something happen?” Lily echoed her sister’s worry.

“Is it Grandma? Is she okay?” A hint of panic reverberated in Grace’s tone.

“Grandma is fine.” Emily put her arms up in a calming manner. “Everything is okay, girls.”

“Then why are you crying?” Lily asked.

Emily and Alison looked at one another, smiling. Alison nearly bit through her lip in excitement.

She was pregnant. They were having another baby.

“Well...there is something your mother and I need to tell you,” Emily said, glancing at the pregnancy test in Alison’s hand. The girls hadn’t seen it yet. “We’ve got some good news.”

She grabbed Alison’s free hand and they gave each other a loving glance.

“Okay, you two are being weird.” Lily made a face.

Emily couldn’t help but laugh. Her little Lily was ever the cynic.

“You know how we’ve been talking about expanding our family?” Alison asked.

“Oh, are we finally getting a dog?” Grace lit up in excitement. 

“Not exactly,” Emily said. Though, that was on the table, too. The girls had been begging for a dog for years.

“Girls...”

Alison moved forward, gripping the test in her hand like a lifeline. She glanced at Emily again before facing Lily and Grace, who were looking at her eagerly.

“Your mother and I...we’re...” She felt a fluttering sensation in her chest. A warmth.

Seconds later Emily was next to her, her arm around her shoulder. Alison smiled at her.

“We’re having a baby.” She held up the pregnancy test. “I’m pregnant.”

There was a quiet pause, but then both girls gasped in delight.

“You’re pregnant?” Lily’s face brightened. Her jaw dropped. She had a huge smile on her face.

“Yeah.” Alison still couldn’t believe it herself.

“For real? We’re going to have a little sister?” Grace asked.

“Or brother,” Lily said. She threw her hands up and squealed. “This is so exciting. Finally, a sibling that will be a much less pain in the ass.”

“Oh, you wish. This kid is so going to like me better.” Grace scoffed. She looked at Alison. “Is that the test?”

“Mmmhmm.” Alison nodded, extending it out to Grace.

Grace didn’t even bother to grab it from the sterile end. She was too caught up in the moment. She looked at the positive result.

“This is super cool.” Grace smiled. She looked at Lily. “Check it out, Lil. Proof that someone else in this family is going to be cooler than you.”

“You know she peed on that, right?”

“Ew.” Grace suddenly held the test out like it was dynamite, handing it back to her mother.

“So...” Lily looked at Alison curiously. “Can you feel the baby yet?”

“Not yet. But we’ll get there.”

“I read that sometimes if you touch someone’s belly when they’re pregnant that you can feel things. Can we try?” Grace asked.

Alison and Emily laughed. They were overjoyed when the twins reached out to touch Alison’s stomach. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t very far along yet. The sentiment behind the bonding was real.

“That’s our little brother or sister in there.” Lily grinned, her palm on Alison’s stomach.

“What if it’s both?” Grace smirked.

“Don’t even joke about that.” Alison laughed.

But she didn’t hate the idea. It wouldn’t be easy having four kids, but she wouldn’t be upset if it happened.

“This is amazing.” Lily looked up at her mothers, a sincere expression on her face. “We know you’ve been trying...”

“Yeah. And we’ve been hoping this would happen.” Grace added.

“I know we give you guys hell sometimes, but you’re really amazing moms. And this baby is very very lucky to have you.” Lily smiled.

“To have us.” Grace corrected her.

Normally, Lily didn’t like it when Grace corrected her, but it didn’t bother her in this instance. She leaned into her mothers, wrapping them in a hug. Grace followed suit, embracing them all.

Emily and Alison smiled at one another as they bathed in their family’s affection. There was nothing quite like having a home in the hearts of the people you loved most, a safe place in the storm of life. They didn’t love anyone in the world like they loved their children. Their lives had only just begun after Lily and Grace were born. And they couldn’t wait for the next chapter.

They couldn’t wait to see the ways in which this baby was going to change their lives for the better, to complete their family.

[bobasheebaby]

75 Criminal Minds Prompts

Some of these can easily go very, very dirty, and yes I’m talking about Morgan and Garcia conversations and honestly would it be a list without them?

1 “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you’ve really stopped to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. ― Hotch

2 “Life is a hell of a thing to happen to someone.”― David Rossi

3 “Destroying a book is like…destroying a whole world.” — Diana Reid 

4 “Trust me, kiddo. I’ve been here before.” ― David Rossi

5 “I’ve always heard every ending is also a beginning. We just don’t know it at the time. I’d like to believe that’s true.” — Emily Prentiss 

6 “He is the perfect man. He doesn’t hog the covers, and he poops in a box.” — Emily Prentiss 

7 “Went on a diet last night. Lost 185 pounds.” — Dr. Tara Lewis 

8 “Marital bliss followed by marital diss! Of course. Why didn’t I think of that?” — Penelope Garcia

9 “I don’t take kindly to being blown up. In fact, it kind of pisses me off.” — Derek Morgan 

10 “You know, I've learned that, in the short time I've had the privilege of being a dad... it heals wounds, just being there for your kid.” — David Rossi

11 “What makes you feel confident?” “Statistics.” — Derek Morgan and Dr Spencer Reid

12 “NAME , believe me when I say this, I've never known a normal day in my entire life.” — Dr Spencer Reid

13 “The number of pathogens passed during a handshake is staggering. It's actually safer to kiss.” — Dr Spencer Reid

14 “No one gets therapy these days without a healthy dose of medication.” “What are you implying, NAME?” “That everyone is medicated.” — Dr Spencer Reid and Penelope Garcia

15 “He/She doesn't give a damn about black or white. The only color that son of a bitch cares about is green.” — Dr Spencer Reid

16 “I don't know everything. I mean, despite the fact that you think that I do.” “I never said that. When have I ever said that?” “Every day since I met you!” — Dr Spencer Reid and Derek Morgan

17 “I never have any normal fans.” — Dr Spencer Reid

18 “Hey, Baby Girl, whatever you’re doing, drop it.” — Derek Morgan

19 “Talk to me, Baby Girl.” — Derek Morgan

20 “There you go, Baby Girl, that’s sweet.” — Derek Morgan

21 “Give it to me, doll face.” — Derek Morgan

22 “Hey, doll face. Ready to work some magic for me?” — Derek Morgan

23 “Hey, silly girl. I love you, you know that, right?” — Derek Morgan

24 “Hey girl, you’re on speaker. Behave.” “Or what, you’ll spank me?” — Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia

25 “It was once said that love is giving someone the ability to destroy you, but trusting them not to.” — Derek Morgan

26 “Hey baby girl, I need you to work that magic of yours.” “Rub my lamp, release the Genie.” — Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia

27 “You really are afraid of the dark.” “I'm working on that.” “You should work a little harder.” — Derek Morgan and Dr Spencer Reid

28 “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, pump your brakes. What is this about?” — Derek Morgan

29 “Oh, and if you hate sad stories as much as I do, you should leave the room right now, 'cause this is super sad!” — Penelope Garcia

30 “Enchantress of all things possible, use your imagination.” — Penelope Garcia

31 “My least three favorite words strung together: I don't know.” — Penelope Garcia

32 “Hello, my pretties. I have seen the wizard and he granted my wish.” — Penelope Garcia

33 “She knew where to toe the line between right and raunchy.” — Penelope Garcia

34 “OK, let me get you on a secret: Guys, we don’t do well on subtle clues, OK? You got to be direct, straight up. Just tell him exactly what you want!” — Derek Morgan

35 “It’s who you are, Baby Girl. You see the beauty in everything and everyone no matter where you go. That part of you is never gonna change, and I won’t let it.” — Derek Morgan

36 “NAME, people need to know that they're important and sometimes you forget that.” — Hotch

37 “Don't you have something better to do?” “Than to annoy you for three hours? Hell no.” — Hotch and Derek Morgan

38 “I think, deep down, we're all capable of unspeakable things. Where it starts or what you call it, I don't know.” — Hotch

39 “NAME, this is the job, and I need to know that you can be objective.” “And I need to know that I can be human.” — Hotch and Emily Prentiss

40 “Scars show us where we have been, they do not dictate where we are going.” — Rossi

41 “You don't need to do anything you don't want to. Understand?” — Rossi

42 “Just be careful. That ego of yours is going to get you in trouble." — Rossi

43 “Somewhere along the line, I put myself first. I admit it, but I can't go back and change it." — Rossi

44 “It could be that, after all of these years, I rewrote history." — Rossi

45 “Time will pass and slowly you will find how much it hurts. And, maybe, you'll find something else to fill that empty space." — Rossi

46 “Where you headed?” “Nowhere in particular.” “How will you know when you get there?” — Rose and Gideon

47 “Only a man would waste $50 trying to win back that $3 stuffed animal.” — JJ

48 “This is my favorite part. This is where you hang yourself with your own tongue. So, please keep talking.” — JJ

49 “My father/mother believes that children shouldn't be shielded from the realities of the world. I do! Isn't that why we read them fairy tales in the first place?” — JJ

50 “Oh god, please tell me you don't have a crush on a fictional character.” — JJ

51 “You are the best ever.” “Aw, and you're the most perceptive.” — JJ and Garcia

52 “I once dated a guy/girl who washed his/her car more than he/she washed his/her hair.” — JJ

53 “Don't tell me what I want and don't want.” — JJ

54 “You do what it takes to protect your family.” — JJ

55 “Look, I don't speak smartass.” — Michael Russo

56 “How's it having NAME around?” “You can have him/her back whenever you would like.” Hotch and Garcia

57 “So, NAME, when are you and NAME walking down the aisle?” “Hey, whoa, whoa. Baby steps. Baby steps.” “When NAME says "I do", it'll be a national day of mourning for single men/women everywhere.” — Rossi, Morgan and Reid

58 “Ugh! This heat is brutal!” “You know, it isn't so much the heat as it is the humidity.” “At some point, it doesn't matter how you look at it. It all sucks.” — Derek Morgan and Dr Spencer Reid

59 “Need a minute?” “So, so badly.” — Matt Simmons and Penelope Garcia

60 “Hey. I came as soon as I could. What's wrong?” — Matt Simmons

61 “We ask questions, and we come home.” “No creepy weirdness?” “No weirdness.” “Good, 'cause I'm about full up in the creepy weirdness department for one night.” — Matt Simmons and Penelope Garcia

62 “Ooh, what about this one? Sunny, two-bedroom. It's close to work. And it's in your price range.” “NAME, you're moving? You don't like change.” “That's true. Change is my kryptonite. But the apartment is no longer a sanctuary. I have a new neighbor. Window's right here. He enjoys doing naked kung fu. Some things you cannot unsee.” — JJ, Simmons and Garcia

63 “Thank you.” “For what?” “For being you.” “Aw, thanks. I don't know how to be anyone else.” — Emily Prentiss and Dr Spencer Reid

64 “When a woman tells a man about her feelings, she doesn't want him to fix her. She wants him to shut up and listen.” — Emily Prentiss

65 “I just feel I can't understand others' emotions if I don't deal with my own, you know?” “The best way out is always through.” “Too bad it's not always the easiest one.” “You're not kidding.” — Dr Tara Lewis and Rossi

66 “It helps if they think you're crazy. They don't argue.” — Diana Reid

67 “I don’t hate you ... I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence.” — Dr Spencer Reid

68 “There are many paths to the same place. Trust me.” “Just so you know, you sound like a fortune cookie.” — Hotch

69 “I’m always right. Also, you’re secretly in love with me.” — Penelope Garcia

70 “I just gave the bartender my number in Roman numerals. If he/she figures it out, he’s/she’s worth a shot.” — Dr Spencer Reid

71 “Shh, the adults are talking. When it’s your turn to speak, I’ll give you permission. Okay?” — JJ

72 “Hey, mama, tell me something I don’t know.” — Derek Morgan

73 “Talk dirty to me.” — Penelope Garcia

75 “Hey, don’t make me spank you when I get back.” “Don’t listen time him/her, NAME, he’s/she’s all talk.” — Derek Morgan and Dr Spencer Reid

[dreadwulf]

*sigh* Okay, I just had to write this all out to get it off my chest and hopefully get over it and move on.

People tell me I look just like Brienne of Tarth. I’m tall, blonde, broad-shouldered, and homely. I get mistaken for a man, even when I have long hair that goes all down my back, even wearing a dress. I’ve gotten used to it.

My earliest memory of school is lying on the ground while a crowd of boys are kicking and hitting me, because I was an ugly freak. Girls grow earlier than boys do, you see. I was the tallest kid in my elementary, and I was hated for it. I endured constant abuse. When I got a little bit older, and I was almost 6 feet tall when I was 12, the abuse mostly turned away from being physical and into emotional and psychological. Girls followed me into the bathroom, laughing at how my clothes didn’t fit, how awkward I was, how masculine. Boys no longer hit me, just ignored or ridiculed me. Because it was the 80s I heard constant references to the East German olympic team, how I looked like a member. I didn’t understand the references at the time, but I knew it was yet another reference to how I didn’t measure up as a woman. Much later I learned about how those women were dosed with testosterone by the government against their will - a terrible story that the people around me regarded as a joke.  There’s nothing funnier than a manish woman, apparently.

When I was young I was undatable, never considered an option to anyone. I never kissed anyone until I was in my twenties, and was a virgin until I was 25. It’s bizarre when I look back now at photos of myself, because I’m expecting a hideous monster, and all I see is an ordinary girl - a little taller, broad-shouldered and plain, not pretty, but ordinary. But it all got into my head, you see. Inside I still feel like a freak. Undesireable. Unloved.

I started watching Game of Thrones from the first episode (mainly because I’m a big fan of Peter Dinklage!), and I was intrigued. Intrigued, but not obsessed, not yet. I’m a grown woman and I don’t have time for that sort of thing. But the first time Brienne of Tarth took off her helmet onscreen and I saw her face, I literally pointed at the screen and said out loud, “that’s me!”

Never in my life have I reacted that way before. Never before, and never since.

Granted, the actress who plays her is a great beauty, but the character of Brienne I latched onto instantly and felt a deep kinship with, especially after reading her story in the books. How as a child she was a girl very much like Sansa, who loved songs and romance and dancing and other girlish things, but the adults around her told her she was too ugly. Her septa told her no one would ever love or want her. She was shamed for wearing dresses and trying to be feminine, was told she was embarassing herself because her body was not womanly enough. She was made to feel like a failure just for existing, for being umarriagable, for causing the end of her house by being so ugly that no one wanted her. But instead of just crumbling and disappearing, Brienne of Tarth took up a sword and decided to make something else of herself. She wanted to help people, she wanted to contribute something to the world, and she decided to find a good lord and serve them as a knight. Brienne is brave and caring and defends the weak and wants to protect the people she loves. Brienne is a hero. She is a hero while not being tiny and delicate and pretty but large, sturdy, and ugly. In that she is completely unique, and completely wonderful.

A lot of old wounds opened up, watching that story and reading A Feast For Crows. Old issues I thought I was over all came back up. I identified powerfully with having your femininity stolen from you because your body is different, with being abused for not being woman enough, and with longing for love in a world that hates you. I remembered being hated, constantly and visciously hated, just for existing. I relived the bone-deep belief that I would spend my entire life alone, because no one would ever want me, a belief that was constantly validated by the actual people around me. I became painfully aware of the sense that I still have to this day of being constantly too big, too loud, too much, that has me slouching and shrinking and taking up less space and whispering timidly and the effect that those things have had on my life and career to this day.

And watching Brienne’s story, I saw how someone can endure the same things I did, and keep trying. Can keep struggling to succeed, and even fall in love. That was the most amazing thing of all, you see. This woman on television who looked like me, she was a love interest! She had her own romantic storyline! I could hardly believe it at first. I watched through my fingers trying to talk myself out of hoping. Because this never happens - an ugly woman, a masculine woman, is never desirable in fiction, never important enough to the story to be a love interest, and never worthy of romance. Yet here it was, it was happening right in front of my eyes.

Her love story with Jaime Lannister was a competely unique thing on television. An ugly woman with a beautiful man. A bond of deep respect and admiration, with undeniable sexual tension. Here were two people who can understand each other because they have both been hated for reasons beyond their control, who sought refuge in honor and knighthood and were loathed for it. Brienne understood how hatred can warp a person, make them someone they never meant to be, just the way she herself had been made to harden and close off to the world. She saw the person that Jaime might have been, if things had gone differently, and the man he could still become. Jaime for his part saw worth in her when everyone around him called her ridiculous, even though she was his enemy. He still knew that she was more deserving than any knight in Westeros, and believed in her when no one else in the world did. He gave her a sword and a quest and even a squire, lost his hand defending her, and he put his own life on the line to save hers.

Jaime openly adored her, looked at her like she was the most wonderful thing in the world, and I have never seen anything like that. A woman who looks like me, being looked at like that. Do you know what that felt like for me? Can you imagine it?

This story meant a lot to me, is what I’m saying. It was healing for me. I believed in that story, and I expected that even if there wouldn’t be a happy ending, at least there would be that respect for the character, and that she would be taken seriously by the narrative and her story would be completed in some fashion.

And then they aired Season 8.

In season 8 we learn that not only did the show never bother to adapt her storylines from the books, where she is slated to face Lady Stoneheart and the Brotherhood Without Banners, they gave her no story in replacement. She has no material impact on the storyline of the show, she simply doesn’t matter in any way. The only major storyline they kept from the books was her romance with Jaime Lannister, and in Season 8 they destroy that story in the cruelest possible way.

After emphasizing that Brienne is an adult virgin, they give her one scene with what we thought was her love interest, where they share one kiss. One. Onscreen within seconds of Brienne being naked Jaime looks dissatisfied and unhappy, and in the same episode, leaves her to go back to his traditionally beautiful ex. Leaves her crying and pleading with him to stay. And then her story ends, except for a brief bookend where she writes an entry in the White Book showing she still loved him, even though he abandoned and betrayed her in the worst way possible.

Right now I’d really like to know if anyone involved with this show ever gave a moment’s thought to what it would be like to watch that happen. After years of patiently waiting to get the love story we were promised for five seasons, instead, to humiliate and punish Brienne for daring to think she deserved love. Did anyone ever consider what that would feel like for women like me? If they did think about it, I hope they enjoyed the hurt they caused me, because the way this story played out felt outright malicious and hateful. They could have given me one tender moment, one declaration of love or affection, just to know what it would look like to see that onscreen for a woman like me. Instead they deliberately withheld that. And then went out of their way to invalidate absolutely everything about the storyline we had been watching, as if it had never happened, as if we had imagined it all, and been foolish to believe in it in the first place.

Yes, I know, it’s only a story, but stories matter. We wouldn’t put nearly the effort and investment into them that we do as a culture if they didn’t. My story has never mattered before, and it meant something to me over the last 8 years that someone was telling it. So was this ending intended as a deliberate slap in my face, or was that collateral damage that the show simply did not care about?

The messages sent by our media are sometimes unintentional, but they are usually given at least some consideration. So I wonder what sort of message was trying to be sent by giving the gender non-comforming woman who dared to open her heart an immediate rejection, and have her then swear to serve a celibate organization for the rest of her life? Giving up her inheritance, her island, her own sworn vows to Sansa, and everything else she cared about? Am I meant to regard this as a happy ending, I wonder? Her feelings and dreams don’t matter, but hey, she has a position in the small council, so Girl Power! Was there a single woman anywhere involved in this production who might have pointed out how awful this is?

I understand that what’s done is done and there’s no fixing this, and complaining about it is pointless. But what I really want, what I wish for, is for somebody to confirm that at least at some point this was a love story, and that for whatever reason, network interference or showrunner decision or whatever it was, it was changed at the last minute. Just tell me that at some point the intent was real. To know that would be helpful. Because right now I feel like a stupid chump for ever believing that anybody wanted a woman like me to have a love story, and you cannot imagine how much that hurts.

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

Spoilers.

Okay I can’t hold it in anymore, I need to yell about Star Trek. 

SO.

In light of the revelations we got from Picard ep8 and ep9, I have come to the conclusion that the plot is a giant fucking mess. Lemme explain.  (Buckle up, it’s long and VERY spoilery).  First, a recap: 300 000 years ago, synthetic lifeforms from another galaxy dragged eight suns together (or maybe created them) and put a sign on the planet in the middle, saying “hey synth pals, when the organics decide to destroy you, give us a call, we’ll destroy them.” The Romulans stumbled upon it, understood only the “synth, organics, destroy” part and decided to hunt and kill robots before they evolved. So far, the robotic higher beings have only succeeded in making the organics hate the synths, so good job. Using the Romulan rescue, Oh makes synths illegal through the attack on Mars, causing the death of most of her people (and incidentally, of the entire Vulcan race in another timeline. Thanks, Oh!). I’ll give her points for dedication, at least this isn’t a “save my people and screw the rest of the Federation” scenario. She’s actually willing to sacrifice her planet to save the whole galaxy. (Doesn’t make it moral, but still, pretty selfless, in a dark a twisted way.) Again, this is the robotic higher beings’ fault. 

Moving on, The surviving synths try to make first contact with Starfleet, resulting in the death of Jana, Beautiful Flower and Vandermeer, which has overall very little consequence on the bigger plot. AGAIN, this is indirectly the robotic higher beings’ fault. (Maybe losing her sister is what makes Sutra such a bitch? Don’t think so though, we’ll get to that.) Maddox, learning nothing from the Ibn Majid, decides to learn the truth about the ban and sends two synthetic girls that look exactly like Jana to investigate (my god is he stupid), while not actually telling them what it is they’re supposed to find (oh, Bruce. Oh my god). It leads to the Romulans realizing that there’s an entire planet of synths. Outstanding work, dumbass. 

Picard does his thing and decides to save the synths and advocate for their lives, Sutra realizes what the Admonition actually meant, and decides that killing all the organics sounds like a great idea. She doesn’t hesitate to let Narek kill one of her sisters to unite her people, showing that she’s exactly the same kind of psycho bitch as Oh. The problem is: SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECIES. The robotic higher beings are fucking IDIOTS!! They’re supposed to have seen many civilisations rise and fall, so they should know what to do and what not to do, and their rational still is “organics will kill us anyway, so let’s kill them,” leading to the organics being like “oh shit, the synths want to kill us, let’s stop making them,” leading to Sutra being like “welp they’ve already started hating us, our robot overlords were right, let’s kill organics.”  OH. MY. GOD!!!

I get that the lesson is that fear is the great enemy, and in this case it’s really well demonstrated (gotta give credit where it’s due), but still! It’s so frustrating!! 

My biggest problem with that convoluted plot is that we (the viewers) are supposed to see the synths as the organics’ equals. Their plight is supposed to be equal to the Federation’s. Except NO. I’m sorry, NO. 

(More on in-universe morality and out-of-universe viewer experience under the cut, because I took pity on your dashboards.)

I get wanting to survive from the Romulan attack, okay. (There is la Sirena for that, just as a reminder.) But Sutra saying that the Federation banning them was essentially genocide? NO. They are made. They aren’t born naturally. A government telling its people to stop making procreating isn’t the same thing as a government killing every kid younger that ten! Parents refusing to conceive isn’t the same as murdering their children (I won’t open the can of worms that is the abortion debate, the point stands). 

We as an audience are still supposed to see the Zhat Vash as the bad guys, because Oh, Narissa and Narek are villains, and because they have caused untold suffering. (By the way, linking Cris’ personal tragedy to the synth crisis is a massive plot contrivance to make us hate the Zhat Vash more, which I found frustrating watching ep8. Losing people in a horrible way happens even without grand global conspiracies, and Cris had already been established as going out of his way to help people even when there was nothing in it for him. We didn’t need the connection to empathise with his pain, and he didn’t need the added incentive. Seriously, how small is that galaxy? Are everybody’s demons linked to Picard’s heroic quest? How convenient.)

But are the Zhat Vash really the bad guys? (Even Cris questions that despite arguably being the Sirena crewmember who as per ep8 had lost the most because of them, along with Elnor.) I’m sorry, if Sutra does try to call the robotic overlords, I say burn Cappelius to the ground. Lemme continue to explain. There are what, 50 synths? 50 robots. And the show tries to make me (again, the viewer) accept that risking the survival of the entire Federation (trillions of people) to save them is actually a question worth asking? From an in-universe moral standpoint, perhaps. 

From an outsider’s perspective (the audience), not even close. Robots having souls and being equal to humans isn’t even a discussion we’re having in real life. I don’t believe androids will ever be self-aware, and capable of emotion and love. Sure, in the Star Trek universe they apparently are. So what? Suspension of disbelief only goes so far. The show can’t expect me to accept that many IFs. I get the very one-the-nose “fear of the Other,” “make love not war,” “different races have equal rights to life” analogy. The message is very much worthy, the show’s depiction of it really pisses me off. The show isn’t asking me to decide whether or not it would be moral to kill the last survivors of a human (or even alien) tribe to save the world, it’s asking “but what if we were basically God and we fucked up, how would we fix it? What if the stuff we made eventually had feelings? Then it’d be bad to destroy it, right?” 

Aside from the sheer hubris of that premise, I don’t know that the robots have feelings. I know it looks like they do, and that they believe that they do, but again, how am I to know? From a biological viewpoint, they’re certainly not alive:

“Life” (biological def taken from the web) Definition. noun, plural: lives. noun, plural: lives. (1) A distinctive characteristic of a living organism from dead organism or non-living thing, as specifically distinguished by the capacity to grow, metabolize, respond (to stimuli), adapt, and reproduce. 

Do the synths grow? Nah. Do they metabolize? Yes. Respond to stimuli? Yes but debatable as it’s programmed. Adapt? Yes. Reproduce? NOPE. 2.5/5 on the living scale lol. That’s not that great. (From an in-universe moral perspective, this time. I know, TNG did an ep on that, sorry.)

Still the show tries reaaaally hard to sell their sentience, and the one time that really didn’t sit well with me was that “robotic finger touching the human finger” image. WOW, last place where I expected to find religious imagery, a show that questions what it means to be human and what creating beings in our image would entail *sarcasm*. 

Except they twist the imagery. In the Bible, human lives are sacred because they are in the image of the perfect God, and He values us (=> so human worth come directly from God attributing worth to us because we’re meant to reflect His goodness). Humans being imperfect due to their fall, creating something in their own image is called an idol - it’s a false god, it’s not sentient, it’s even more imperfect, and it’s wrong. And if humans don’t value it and and it doesn’t reflect who they are anymore, well, it would make the idol even more worthless, right? (clearer explanation because my arguing skills suck => drawing on the Bible’s imagery, either humans are not gods and the images they created are worthless, or the series means for them to have God’s place, in which case refusing to attribute worth to their images makes those worthless. That invalidates the question that I previously said the show was asking.) So all in all, reminding us of the Christian take on the issue right in the middle of the Admonition claiming that synths are perfect is thus completely counterproductive, both in universe and from a viewer’s pov.

But but but, I hear you protest, what about Data? He had worth! 

This may be controversial, but Data mattered to us because of the character he was, not because he was supposed to be human. He was adorable and losing him meant losing an interesting and enjoyable element in the show, which would make us sad. I love him like I love Cris’ holos, the Voyager Doctor, Wall-E and Eve, R2-D2, Jarvis and Chappie. They’re (very) likeable fictional creatures that can be used as metaphors for real life issues, nothing more. In any show/movie I’d be really sad if one of them had to be sacrificed to save the world, but I’d accept it (looking at you, Infinity War Captain America). If the question arose in real life, would I question the morality of it? No. 

So, are the new synths the same? I already tackled the metaphor thing, it’s not handled that well and Detroit Become Human did it first. (Again, it’s hard to portray the otherness of other real life-cultures that we may unjustly fear by using things whose living status is so easily questionable!!)  Is killing off the synths wrong from an out-of-universe perspective because the audience loves them? Let’s see... Are the new synths adorable/likeable? Heck no, give me Emil and Enoch over them any day. Would we lose something in the show if they died? Nah. We didn’t even know they existed until one episode ago. Picard would get angsty and Agnes would get upset, but it’s nothing a few fluffy fics wouldn’t fix. Do we know the synths as characters? We know that Sutra is crazy, violent and bloodthirsty, Jana was probably nice (?), Dahj had a cute boyfriend (outstanding characterization) and Soji... Welp... *sigh* I guess Soji is okay, even though she’s the least relatable and interesting character of the whole Sirena crew?  We know that their creators and biggest advocates, Soong Jr and Maddox, are(/were) creepy old dudes with warped ethics, half a brain between the two of them, really toxic interactions with Agnes, and enough hubris to bring the entire greek demigod population to shame. They would race Icarus to the sun, seriously.  We know that Captain Vendermeer killed himself over two robots, permanently damaging one of the nicest and most beloved characters of the series. Yeah, real incentive for me wanting to see the Federation risk destruction for the androids, guys.

But seriously, the last time a psycho AI tried to destroy the galaxy and make it in its image (*cough* Control) the protagonists spent a season trying to destroy the thing, and they were right! Future-control was self-aware and demonstrated anger and fear! Make up your mind, CBS!! 

And by the way? THE SYNTHS HAVE A MEANS OF ESCAPE!! No, I’m sorry, if they don’t decide to go aboard la Sirena and choose to endanger the Federation instead, then for all plot issues I’m siding with the Zhat Vash. Go on, destroy the synths. As part of the audience, I don’t care, and the show attempts at making me care by trying to make it a moral issue feel clumsy and forced. 

Also. Q exists in the Star Trek universe! He’s a deus ex-machina machine!! (Pun intended.) It’s hard to take big issues like that seriously when he could just swoop in and teleport the synths out of the galaxy/destroy the Romulan armada/put the robotic overlords in their place. JL, please, give Q a call. Yeah, yeah, it’d take away from the moral stakes because you can’t solve your irl problem with a snap of your fingers and you have to make actual decisions - but as I already said, I feel like the moral stakes are dumb and contrived. Give me the deus ex-machina, please. 

This has been a Star Trek rant. I know that I tackled two separate issues here: the in-universe morality of the synths’ death (I will admit that from the crew’s perspective it’s not right, because they can’t know if the synths are alive or not for sure) and the out-of-universe viewer experience. I apologize if it came across as really confused and complicated. 

I still like the show and love the actual characters (meaning, la Sirena’s colorful crew), and the show writers are not incompetent, or stupid, or wrong for writing their show how they want. They are really skilled and talented and they have created mostly compelling characters - I’m just unhappy with the direction taken by the story.

[loplainlointhemorning]

@yung-tamale tagged me for this and I’m actually gonna respond lolll

name: Liv/Curt

nicknames: i absolutely don’t have any other than ‘hey this picture of pj harvey made me think of you’ which is sexy

zodiac: Cancer

height: 5’6”

languages: sadly only English. i May need to learn Italian eventually for undisclosed reasons

nationality: American. i wish it were anything else

favorite season: S U M M E R

favorite flower: hyacinths, roses, irises, morning glories, day lillies, snowdrops, clover flower, daffodils, cherry blossoms, dogwood flowers, and anything I ever saw in my grandmother’s garden

favorite scent: bleach, dad’s cologne, mom’s shampoo, rain, uh. girls

favorite fictional character: OK MM

Curt Wild is part of the reason why I’m currently going by Curt and it’s bc he’s handsome and stupid and people keep hurting him like me

Brian Slade is the actual definition of what I would look like ideally and we’re both bottoms who believe we’re otherworldly and important with 0 evidence other than ego

Mark Renton is also the definition of what I would look like ideally and I feel such a strong connection to his miserable cunt life that idk how to watch Trainspotting 1 or 2 without crying

Orlando in the 1992 film is me but masc and they get a crush on this dark haired foreign girl that throws them into a YEARS LONG poetic depression & then have sex w a dick 1 time & have a daughter like same :/

Tommy Gnosis/Hedwig Robinson bc I’m the definition of their chaotic blend of stupid, horny, and philosophical

Euchrid Eucrow from And The Ass Saw The Angel is honestly one of the most relatable characters in existence and his internal monologue and how he feels abt himself and views the world is exactly how I’ve felt more and more as I’ve gotten older

Dorian Gray is who I would be if I could make my life the way I wanted it. I ruined your life and I’m a sexy twink. oops 💋

Harley Quinn,, I don’t feel like I have to explain Harley Quinn. me

coffee, hot tea, or hot chocolate?: coffee or hot chocolate tea is for the English

average sleep: 7 hours usuallyfjdjdndn

dogs or cats: cats 🐈

number of blankets: quilt, top cover being fleece blanket, covering ur entire body lest you fall prey to some demon ur anxiety pulled out of Hereditary

dream trip: I wanna go to London literally so bad, and Seattle and San Francisco And Berlin and. yknow. all the gay haunts.

blog established: dec. 2017, but I’ve been here since dec. 2015

random fact: when I was a kid I got so obsessed with the game Wolf Quest that when I finished it and got separated from my last pup, Snow, who id formed an actual maternal bond with, I became depressed for three months. one of the reasons I didn’t actively try to destroy myself at the end of 2017 was bc they’d announced Wolf Quest 3. i am a fucking furry

Gender: androgynous(any pronouns, most comfortable with she/they)

Current time: 4:05 PM

Favorite musical artists: David Bowie, Iggy Pop, Kurt Cobain, Courtney Love, Johnny Cash, Nick Cave, PJ Harvey, Leonard Cohen, Kathleen Hanna, Placebo, Elton John

Stuck in my head: Never Let Me Down Again- Depeche Mode

Last movie I saw: Last Days- Gus Van Sant

Last thing I googled: Ben Folds lyrics I’m so sorry

other blogs: ok @iknewishouldcreateasensation and @everyonesintothisscene are my two velvet goldmine blogs, but I’ve been putting a lot of shit on @untieformeyourhighbluegown like aes/vent stuff, all my original art, and all my music. it’s like a museum of me

do I get asks: The asks I get fall into three categories

1- why are you such a lesbian hater for being mean to x terf

2- why do you like David Bowie

3- you’re sexy

4- something pj Harvey related

5- one of my cool gay friends saying cool gay things to me and ya just generally vibing abt loving each other

6- random accusations and transphobia that I don’t understand

so yeah boys pls send asks!!!

reason for url: i lov Oscar Wilde and I love Velvet Goldmine

followers/following: I have like 500 followers MAYBE it might actually be 300 and I follow like 2,000 blogs

lucky number: 6

currently wearing:

Johnny Cash target t shirt

dream job: jack of all trades artist & touring musician

favorite foods: pastries, sugar, sharp cheese, any bread that isn’t soft, garlic, Mac n cheese, p-

instruments: vocals/guitar, but I want to learn piano again I think??

favorite song(rn): Whole Lotta Shakin’ Goin On(Jerry Lee Lewis), Levi Johnson’s Blues(Ben Folds and Nick Hornby), Clap Hands(Tom Waits), I Hope That I Dont Fall In Love With You(Tom Waits), Life And Death Of Mr. Badmouth(PJ Harvey), Ballad Of Hollis Brown(Bob Dylan), Don’t(Ed Sheeran)

i tag:

@wannabegothgurl @pawnshopbluez @wherearemyelephants @beatle-capaldi @lionslove @glamrock-lizardman @joestrummershowl @bigembarrassingheart @old-memoria

[juliapetertodd]

Universe Jumping: Gotham - OCs Fanfiction

It was a quite night in Gotham… Well, as quiet as Gotham can be, anyway.

There was the usual hustle and bustle of cars honking, people partying the night away and the occasional gunshots, as familiar in that city as the stone gargoyles that adorned the buildings. But the Joker wasn’t spreading canisters of Laughing Gas throughout the city; Two-Face wasn’t off on some duality themed robbing spree and Poison Ivy didn’t have an army of love struck folks running around and destroying every can of bug spray in the area.

One of the particularly quiet places was Robinson Street, a short little street made entirely of cheap, rundown apartment buildings. The cement pavement was cracked and dirty, some of the walls were covered with graffiti and streetlights were specked evenly along both sides of it. All in all, it was an entirely unremarkable and typical Gotham Street. It just so happened that that night was a remarkably atypical night.

The signs that something was off in Robinson Street were hardly noticeable if you weren’t paying attention. The streetlights flickered with increasing speed and intensity; if you happened to touch some of the metal trashcans outside, you might get shocked; and the animals were restless, sensing the coming changes.

Really, the first noticeable warning came just before it started. At two in the morning, with no living soul around, a single, short and quick spark of red lightning came out of nowhere between two lampposts on the left side of the street, hitting one of them and blowing its bulb, sparks shooting out everywhere. About two minutes later, the same thing happened again. Then again, one minute later. Then 30 seconds later. Eventually, multiple red sparks were buzzing around the street, always shooting from between the same two lampposts. The sparks buzzed and buzzed until the air from which they shot out seemed to shift and changed, almost as if it was trying to open itself up. It stretched and crinkled, more and more, until a sound no one could ever quite describe was heard and a perfectly round circle of light appeared, in between the two lampposts.

It hung in the air for a few minutes, held by nothing, and perfectly out of place in the dark corners of Gotham, until something emerged from it. A single left foot, dressed in a black sock and a black left running shoe (for, after all, the right didn’t fit it) took a tentative and careful step out, moving slowly forward and showing that it was not alone but, in fact, came attached to a leg, dressed in black suit pants. The foot kept pushing forward until it finally touched the ground, tapping lightly to make sure it couldn’t lose its footing. It retreated carefully, but quickly (along with the leg, which went first) and was quickly replaced by a face, which also moved rather cautiously. First came the nose, then the glasses, than the rest of the thing. It looked around carefully, making sure there were no threats, and, sufficiently satisfied, left the portal with confidence, dragging the rest of the body it was attached to forward.

This particular body belonged to a man named Tony, who was tall, a little chubby, bearded and with some noticeable hair loss. He was wearing black rimmed glasses, a t-shirt with some sort of obscure reference, a long, black overcoat, the aforementioned pants and shoes, and, most strangely of all, a multi colored, 4 meter long scarf.

Tony took a few steps away from the portal and looked around, with the sort of face that expressed abundant cleverness and confidence, even if he didn’t exactly have either of those things at that particular moment. After giving a quick visual inspection at the buildings and lampposts around him, he pulled out a curious looking device similar to one of those credit card things you find at stores from his pocket. He pushed a few buttons on it and after hearing a satisfying little “ding”, turned toward the portal.

“You can come out!” he screamed “It’s safe!”

“Are you sure?” a female voice on the other side said. It sounded a little garbled, like it was being spoken through a walk talkie “It might be a trap. You might have landed in trap world.”

“You do know what trap means, right?”

“Something meant to trick and kill us?”

“No, it’s what we call guys who look like girls. They’re traps, y’see. I’ll send you some pictures later. Anyway, since there are no impossibly pretty girls with miniskirts running around, I suggest you get in here.”

Tony looked at the portal for a few minutes when, at last, a female figure emerged. Júlia was her name and she was wearing some fashionable sneakers, blue denim jeans, a Miraculous Ladybug t-shirt, a comfortable looking teddy coat and had a backpack strapped on her shoulders. She was short-ish, also wore glasses and had her striking light brown hair tied up in a ponytail.

“Very sporty” commented Tony “Almost draws the attention away from your caterpillar-like eyebrows.”

Júlia gave him an annoyed gazed in response. “Well, at least my clothes fit me properly. This world better have a lot of danger, cause you certainly need the exercise.” She tapped Tony on his belly.

“Pfff. I look great.” He self-consciously closed his jacket, while keeping his proud look “Anyway, the Dimensional Transporter will take a few days to recharge, so let’s try and figure out where we are. Care to take a guess?”

“Hmm…” She held her chin with her right hand and stepped to the middle of the road, looking around. “Well… It’s a city. A big one, by the looks of it. Very New York-ish. Meaning we could be anywhere from Friends to Escape from New York.”

“Let’s hope it’s neither.” Tony said as his fingers tapped the little device and stepped next to her “Unless I get to threeway Jennifer Aniston and Courtney Cox.”

“Did you start this whole thing, just so you could fuck characters?”

Tony stopped tapping and arched his eyebrows ponderously “Not just because of that”

Júlia sighed, while Tony tapped a bit more and looked intently at the screen “Well, according to the Atmospheric Analyzer, there are no deadly toxins in the air, the water is clean and, by all accounts, this is just like any other city back on our world.” He put the Analyzer back in his pocket and pattered around a bit “I’ve been meaning to find out whether this thing takes us to every fictional world or if it’s just the ones we’re particularly interested in. For all we know, we might be in some cheap romantic comedy.”

He twirled around, amazed at how cool his overcoat looked in the breeze and how fun it was to see his giant scarf, flip flopping around “We might just see a third grade actress walk across that street and bump into some third grade actor, their eyes meeting and the spark of predictably insipid romance is set.”

“Has anyone ever told you, you have a particular knack for taking the fun out of everything?” said Júlia, her eyes rolling so hard, they might’ve actually made a sound.

“Not today, but it’s still early.” Casually, Tony glanced at the sky, and his eyebrows once again shot up “Ah. I think I know where we are now.”

“Where?” But instead of an answer, Tony merely pointed a finger at the sky, and as Júlia looked she instantly realized where they had landed.

That night was cloudy, and on the grey clouds above their heads was projected the shining image of a giant bat.

“Well… The DC Universe… Or perhaps just Gotham. It’s hard to guess at this point, but what say you we take a look-” However, Tony realized he was talking to himself, as Júlia had made a straight run towards the nearest alley she could find on Robinson Street “HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!”

Júlia looked back and breathlessly answered “To… an… alley…way.”

Tony went after her, catching up when she stopped, far into the alley, to catch her breath. “Why… did…” he said, realizing now that maybe the gym does have its uses “…you… come… here?”

“Because… Because that’s where crime happens in Gotham.”

“Wha… What?”

“Yeah! Don’t you know? Innocent people walking down an alley in Gotham City, a mugger pulls up, and what happens?”

“They get robbed and killed?”

“No, dummy. Batman saves them! Or some Bat related character.”

“So, you want to get robbed, in the hopes of meeting Batman? What if you get killed for real?”

“Pff” Júlia waved him away “When has that ever happened in Gotham?”

“Like all the time! That’s literally the reason Batman exists!” Tony answered, gesticulating wildly

“Ah, we’ll be fine. Come on, let’s keep going, see if anyone’s lurking around.” she answered, as she casually strolled deeper into the dark, empty and quiet backstreet that led off the alley. Tony sighed but dutifully went after her.

“This just seems like a really bad idea, Júlia. I’m just saying.”

“Yeah, well, you’re not the boss of me.”

“I made most of the machine that allowed you to get here.”

“But I helped you build it. So, I own like 40% of ownership.”

“That’s not how that works.”

“Oh, whatever. You just wanna boss me around, cause you wanna act like The Doctor.”

“I… What are you talking about?” said Tony, plunging his hands deeper into his pockets and turning his face away from Júlia.

“Come off it. Magical machine that takes people places? Invites one special girl? Makes a lot of jokes? You’re even dressed like him! I mean-”

But Júlia couldn’t finish what she meant, because from one of the many shadows that consumed the alley came a man holding a revolver. He looked disheveled and dirty, a tattered and filthy shirt hanging loosely in his body, a green coat that seemed to be made out of the skin of an old couch, fingerless brown gloves and a patchwork ascot. In his hand, he held a black six shooter revolver, a relic that seemingly jumped from its original time straight to modern day.

“Gimme all your money” mumbled the dirty thief, waving his revolver in Tony’s and Júlia’s direction.

Júlia shifted a little, retreating behind Tony with the intent of using him as meat shield, while Tony slowly put his hands up as the thief moved closer.

“Now, now… We don’t need any of that…” assured Tony, as he stared at the gun with widened eyes “Say… That seems like a very anachronistic gun, for the time we come from… Can you tell us what year it is?”

The thief’s face contorted into an expression of confused anger, and he waved the gun more fiercely “Now, listen here! Don’t try to… to… patronize me! I’m holding the gun! And I say that you should give me your money! NOW!”

“I… uh… don’t have any money” muttered Tony, fearful and a little embarrassed. After all, it’s probably bad manners to get robbed and not have any money to give.

Confusion had left the thief’s face by this point, but the anger had stayed firmly in place. He held the gun with a tight grip and pointed it straight at Tony’s face. Tony did his best to keep Júlia behind him, and closed his eyes, as he heard the squeeze on the gun’s trigger, expecting that all familiar sound.

KAPOW

“Kapow?” he thought, opening his eyes.

From the pointy ears, to the cape, to the outside underpants, everything about him screamed “I’M BATMAN”. He had come from above, all “I am the night”, and kicked the robber in the face, knocking him against the brick wall. The robber’s head hit the wall, knocking him out.

Batman looked at Tony and Júlia, efficiently checking to see if they had any bruises or needed any medical help. After realizing they were ok, he shot out his Bat Grappler, intent on continuing the night’s patrol and, had these been the regular type of people he usually deals with, that’s what would’ve happened. Except…

“WAIT BRUCE STOP!” yelled Tony suddenly.

Batman almost slipped from his Bat Grapple in shock. He quickly composed himself and, rather swiftly, pushed Tony against a wall, as Júlia watched in shock.

“WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?” yelled Batman, his forearm pressing hard on Tony’s throat.

“I…” Tony tried to gasp his explanations through a squeezed throat “We… Different… Universe… Júlia…”

“Don’t look at me, man! Who told you it was a good idea to antagonize Batman?”

“I want answers.” Batman was getting annoyed at his lack of progress “NOW!”

“We’re from a different universe where you’re a comic book character, Bruce!” answered Júlia, pulling some courage from place she didn’t quite know she had “We found a way to travel here and… uh… we… uh… want to visit the place. And meet some heroes.”

Júlia pointed at Batman awkwardly, as if trying to remind him that he’s a superhero “Like you. Or Jason” Batman scowl deepened and Júlia’s voice fell a couple of notches “Or you. Y’know. Whoever.”

Batman looked at Tony for a little while more, before dropping him. As Tony wheezed and Júlia leaned down to see if he was ok, Batman started asking questions.

“What do you want from me?”

“We want to spend time with you.” answered Júlia, as Tony composed himself “and the other superheroes also.”

“Yeah” continued Tony “and you’re actually the perfect person to help us, since you’re so paranoid and shit, which means you know everyone.”

Batman considered this “What reason would I have to help you?”

“We know the secret identities of basically every single superhero on this planet, as well as the place where they live and their supporting cast/ loved ones.” Answered Tony, as he got up

Batman quickly turned around, with a powerful rage on his face “Are you threatening me?”

“No, no! I’m just saying… uh…” Tony really hadn’t thought that threatening Batman was a good idea and he was desperately trying to back out “Look, man, we just want to meet some people and you have more money than God. Can’t we work something out? Can’t you call out the Batmobile, take us to Wayne Manor and we can talk about it?”

Batman looked at them, pondering. They were both scared out of their minds that Batman would just punch them until they got out of his universe but, surprisingly, he got a little bat shaped remote and pressed one of the buttons. The remote made a quiet beep and, soon after, Batman started to walk out of the alley. Not knowing what to do, Tony and Júlia followed, keeping a safe distance from the Dark Knight.

As they reached the place through which they entered the alley, they quickly realized what the remote had called. In front of them, roared the Batmobile, sleek, black and with a big bat face in the front. Batman clicked another button on the remote, and the roof of the car slid back revealing four seats inside. He jumped inside into the driver’s seat, and our duo awkwardly got over the side of the car to get inside, because the Batmobile didn’t actually have doors. Once they were inside, Bruce closed the top and got the car moving at ridiculous speed.

Júlia was internally freaking out about being in the Batmobile (and, weirdly enough, admiring the comfortable leather seats), while Tony pulled out a notebook and pen, and started asking Batman some questions.

“So, the first thing we want to establish is what version of your universe we’re in.”

“Version?”

“In our universe, you’ve been adapted from a full universe of comic books, to movies, to cartoons, to video games, etc. So, we need to figure out where we are.”

“Alright.”

“Cool. So, who is Batgirl right now?”

Batman looked stiff and unresponsive

“We know it’s either Barbara, Cassie or Steph.” said Júlia “So you can just come out and say it.”

Batman stayed quiet for a bit “Stephanie.”

Tony jotted a few things down “That’s… interesting. And weird, since it’s not current.”

“Current?” asked Batman

“I can’t tell you, sorry. Unless… Say, Batman, have you ever heard of something called the Flashpoint?”

“Yes. It was something that happened to the Flash, some time ago.”

Tony raised his eyebrows “He gave you a letter from your alternate reality dad?”

“Yes.”

“What were you wearing?”

Batman didn’t flinch, but his voice and general stiffness betrayed a certain amount of surprise “What?”

“What version of your costume?”

“Tony, where are you going with this?” asked Júlia

“Just trust me on this.” he answered before turning his attention back to Batman “Let me clarify: At that point, did you costume not have the briefs on the outside, and did it have some weird lines running through it?”

Batman remained quiet for a bit, before answering “No.”

Tony looked at his notebook, inquisitively. “This is weird… This is really very, very weird. Can I ask who the Teen Titans are at the current time?”

“Robin, Superboy, Kid Flash, Supergirl, Batgirl and Blue Beetle.”

Tony’s eyes widened in surprise. “Ho ho… Well… I’ll say this is… Intriguing”

Júlia nudged Tony “What are you talking about?”

“Well Júlia, if I understand this correctly, and I’m fairly certain I do, I think we’re in a version of the DC Universe where the New 52 never happened.”

“What do you mean never happened? Like… None of it?”

“Well, maybe a few plots here and there… Hey, Batman, did you fight the Court of Owls at any point?”

Batman considered. “Yes. Some time ago.”

“Well, there we are. I’d say that wraps-”

Suddenly, the Batmobile came to a sudden stop, knocking Tony and Júlia forward.

“What-” asked Júlia, but Batman interrupted.

“Gotham’s first national bank is getting robbed right now by the Riddler. You two stay here, I’m going inside.”

He popped open the roof of the car and left, leaving the two travelers sitting there, stunned.

Júlia looked around the car. There were all sorts of buttons and levers on the dashboard, but at her feet was some sort of compartment. She popped it open, and inside found a couple of Batarangs, a grapple gun and a Bat Taser Gun. She looked at Tony, and found him staring at the weapons, wide eyed.

“Should we?” asked Júlia.

Before he could answer, both of them heard the sound of broken glass, as the Riddler left the bank through the back.

“Riddle me this! What’s bad as a bat and covered in bruises?” said Nygma, his Bowler Hat slightly askew on his head “The Batman after my henchmen are done with him!”

As he headed out with his henchman, he found himself stopped by two 20 something young adults, wielding weapons.

“Freeze!” said the man, with one of Batman’s grapple guns.

“Yeah” said the woman, wielding a kind of gun shaped apparatus with electricity at the end. “What he said!”

“Hmmm…” said the Riddler “And who might you two be?”

“We’re-uh…” the man thought for a bit “Friends of Batman?”

“The Bat doesn’t have any friends. And if he did I doubt he’d pick such... Riddle me this, what has funny accent, a gigantic ass and two caterpillars instead of eyebrows?”

Júlia blushed heavily and looked down, embarrassed.

“Riddle me this, what’s balding, masturbates far too frequently and sweats like he’s running a marathon when he’s sitting down?”

Tony also blushed (and started sweating) but he answered back “Wow Nygma, you’re a dick. I have literally zero problems with what we’re about to do. Júlia, hit him.”

Júlia, getting over her embarrassment, pressed the trigger on her gun, and shot Riddler with an electric shock straight to the private parts. He fell, in pain, to his knees. Then Tony shot the grappler gun at him, and watched it tie around him. Soon, Batman came from above, gliding down on his cape.

“Hey, we took care of this Bat Boy.” said Tony “No worries.”

As they walked back to the car, Júlia asked “Hey… Do my eyebrows really look like Caterpillars?”

“If they do, they’re the loveliest caterpillars ever.” answered Tony.

“Thanks.” Said Júlia, slightly happier “By the way, the bald look works well on you.”

Tony smiled at her and sat back on the Batmobile, as they both waited for Batman to finish tying up Riddler.

…

Having finally arrived at Wayne Mansion, Tony and Júlia gawked at all the cool shit in the batcave, before going up into the mansion proper.

“Oh.” Said Alfred, when he first saw them coming up with Bruce Wayne (as he had taken off the costume and switched to civilian clothing). “Well, at least the new Robins aren’t children anymore.”

Bruce gave him a sarcastic smile and told him to make tea for the three of them, before taking the two travelers into his dining room.

After a long and straightforward conversation, it was agreed that Bruce would supply them with funds to travel around the country, meeting whatever superheroes they wanted and then leaving promptly when their travelling device was charged. They would leave the next morning for Metropolis, but not before Bruce did them a little favor…

…

Tony and Júlia waited around on the roof of a random Gotham skyscraper, with Batman standing next to them. Júlia looked particularly fretful.

“It’s going to be fine.” Reassured Tony. “He’ll love you. How couldn’t he?”

She nodded, but was still fretting around with her feet, rolling her heel on the floor and playing with Tony’s scarf. Suddenly, they heard a noise, and someone else was on that roof with them. He had on a black body suit, with a brown jacket over it, some guns and, completing the look, a big red mask that covered his entire face.

“So… What’s this all about?” said the man, Jason Todd.

Júlia squeed when she heard him talk, and immediately hid behind Tony, shoving her face hard into his scarf.

“These people are… travelers from another universe.” Said Batman, looking entirely unamused “The girl apparently wanted to meet you.”

“Are you serious? You call me in just for this?”

“Well, they know our identities and apparently are just passing by. I figured, why not? They know who you are, by the way, you can take off the mask.”

“Tsk.” Said Jason, as he took his Red Hood helmet off, revealing his ruffled black hair and perfect looking face. “You know… I have other things to do, I can’t be dealing with whatever fanboy wants an autograph.”

“Well…” said Tony “It’s not really a fanboy… more of a fangirl.”

Tony flipped around and grabbed Júlia by the shoulders pushing her towards Jason. “Come on girl, knock him dead” he whispered.

Before she could even collect herself, Júlia was staring Jason Todd straight in the face.

“I… uh… I mean… You… I…” she stuttered, blushing so hard you’d think she was drunk.

Jason had softened a bit seeing this, and gave a cocky smile, slicked his hair back and began talking.

“So…” he said, getting a little closer to her “Where you’re from I’m a big deal?”

“You… uh… Yeah, you’re a… character from… from comics…” she said, smiling ridiculously.

“Well… That’s pretty cool to know” Jason his arm around her, causing Júlia to smile even more “And I’m your favorite character?”

She nodded.

“Cool cool. So… now that you got me here…” Jason gave her a peck on the cheek and whispered in her ear “What do you want to do with me?”

At this point, Júlia made another, much more pronounced squee sound and promptly passed out. Tony stared at her unconscious body.

“Well… Shit.”

…

Júlia slowly came back to conscience and felt her whole body shaking and vibrating slightly. She opened her eyes and saw Tony in front of her, fiddling with some apparatus. She also realized the source of the shaking: She was on a train, specifically sitting in a train compartment.

“Ah good” said Tony, smiling “You’re finally up.”

“What… What happened?”

“Well, you met Jason Todd, you squeed and then you passed out.”

Júlia remembered what had happened the night before and felt her face brightening with red.

“Oh don’t worry.” Reassured Tony. “He liked you. At least enough to give you this.”

Tony opened a bag sitting next to him. It contained Red Hood’s helmet, with a signature on top that read “To my biggest fan. Till we meet again. Jason ;)”

Tony threw the helmet at Júlia who caught it and held it with care and affection.

“I get the feeling that’s not the last time we’re gonna be seeing him. He really did like you.”

“Yeah…” Júlia sighed wistfully and smiled “I liked him too…”

“Disgusting” Tony shook his head “Anyway, after you fainted, Jason left once he made sure you were alright and me and Bruce carried you to the train going to…”

“Metropolis?”

“Very good, you are paying attention.”

“And you’re playing Doctor again, I see.”

“Let me have this.”

Júlia looked outside the window at the trees rushing bye and wondered.

“Hey Tony?”

“Yes?”

“Why me?”

“What?”

“Why did you bring me on this little adventure of yours?”

“…Because you’re like the only person who’d appreciate it, I guess. Plus, it’s your birthday. Figured you deserved something pretty good, after the decidedly mixed year you had.”

Júlia nodded in thanks, and stared once more out the window, wondering what new adventures awaited them in Metropolis…

SO THIS WAS NOT WRITTEN BY ME, BUT IT WAS GIVEN TO ME AS MY BIRTHDAY GIFT AND HE ALLOWED ME TO SHARE IT CAUSE I LOVED IT ALOT!!! HOPEFULLY YOU GUYS LIKE IT TOO AND HE MAKES A PART 2!!

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP. 2

Last time, on Symphogear!

An adorable little girl, stood up by her date for a reasonable explanation, jams it out with her favorite pop duo, caught unawares that they are also a monster-fighting syndicate experimenting with the power of sound (the power to make you dizzy) to activate an ancient historical relic. Shit goes south as the jams prove to be too powerful, guaranteeing tragedy amidst an otherwise baller concert. Hibiki is rescued by The Bigger Of The Lesbians before she self-destructs to make sure the entire threat is neutralized, leaving The Smaller Lesbian sad, yet still incredibly gay. Years pass as our protagonist goes to Music School, for Music, to bunk it up with her girlfriend as she tries to figure out what the hell happened. Her prayers are answered when she tries to rescue a little girl and is promptly cornered, activating the same outfit The Bigger Lesbian that saved her had on. Gungnir Dattos all around, The Smaller Lesbian loses her shit as everything goes downhill from there.

Now, where were we?

...right. The piss beacon.

And the person taking the piss.

Hibiki has nary a clue what to do. Symphogears don’t actually come with manuals, you see. They’re sort of a “close your eyes and wing it” kind of experience. In Tsubasa’s case, it’s quite literal.

“FUCK that was COOL AS SHIT, tight as FUCKING HELL”

Take pity on this face. This is the face of someone who’s last memories will be a confused lady wondering why she is suddenly part machine.

“imma save you widdle kid”

Something to note about this show is that all the fighters sing while fighting. Hibiki is no exception, even after being confused about what the hell she’s doing. It helps that her voice actress is a professional singer.

It helps that every voice actress here is some sort of professional singer.

This picture basically summarizes why Hibiki is cool despite being so goddamned dumb. She’s angry, and she’s gonna protect some kids even if she dies doing it. Kanade would be proud, if she wasn’t too busy being dead.

No shit!

Have you ever watched the original Sam Reimi’s Spiderman? Like, the very first one? You know all those awkward scenes about Spiderman learning how his powers work? Hibiki basically does that under crunch time. There’s a long segment about how she’s forced to figure things out while protecting a kid and Not Dying.

It’s going pretty great.

I can’t believe she’s secretly Steve Urkel.

“cannot FUCKING believe that girl my girlfriend saved managed to GET HER HANDS on her FUCKING CLOTHES that I WANTED to ENSHRINE IN A MEMORIAL to her how the FUCK did she do that cant BELIEVE i have to SAVE HER IDIOT ASS because she just CANT EVEN DO THAT-”

Tsubasa, preparing herself as a contender for the World’s Angriest Lesbian, barrels through the Noise in her motorcycle...

...which she smashes directly into the Noise. It does nothing.

Tsubasa has many a motorcycle to smash. It’s a testament to her dedication following her aesthetic.

She fueled the tank completely before smashing it in.

Tsubasa... is petty.

As Tsubasa t-poses to assert dominance (a woman ahead of her time, this first aired in 2012), she comes down ready to kick some ass and vent some frustrations. And frankly? She’s all out of ass.

“oh my god she’s even hotter up close i cant believe it”

“fucking knock-off outfit looks like it came out of a bootleg flea market”

You don’t need to know what happens next, because you already know what happens when someone shows up with a fucking sword ready to sing about their dead girlfriend and the conflicting feelings about seeing her armor pop up again on someone else.

Murder.

Lots... and lots... of murder.

“we’re so fucking useless why do we even exist”

After Tsubasa finishes what could only be described as a massacre, we’re treated to how people clean up the aftermath.

“hey, you know, make fun of me all you want, but at the end of the day, im the one holding the vacuum cleaner, and you’re literally turned to dust, so”

Even this little girl knows shit’s about the go down. Got the tea and everything.

This is one of the minor characters of the series. She works for the 2nd Division. Who is the 2nd Division? You’ll find out soon.

“i didnt die! fuck yeah. today’s a good day.”

“OH WAIT NO-”

Hibiki learns that her outfit unsets after a while, like bideo game. Who catches her mid-fall?

Her new best friend, of course. Don’t be fooled by this look. Tsubasa tragically suffers from resting angry face syndrome. It is, unfortunately, incurable.

“i hate how cute she is”

Hibiki reminds her that this is technically the second time Tsubasa has saved her, which in the large scheme of things, seems incredibly innocuous for someone who escaped a major tragedy many years ago. Unfortunately, time doesn’t move forward for Season 1 Tsubasa. Not for quite a while...

The funny part is it doesn’t even hit her initially. She never actually saw Hibiki personally during that moment, so she actually doesn’t even have a clue what she means.

Look at her. Look at this clown. How could you hate her. Look at that smile.

All the survivors are always forced to write NDAs about what they saw. This grows to comical levels at times, given the scale of what happens eventually. It might as well be the world’s biggest open secret by now.

“aight homies looks like i gotta go home, the wife’s gonna be lonely an-”

Oh.

“sorry holmes but you’re going to gay baby jail like the rest of us singers”

Hibiki’s face is riddled with guilt. The guilt of someone who just saved a little girl. How dare you, Hibiki. This is what you get for doing The Right Thing.

And so she’s taken to “jail.”

“sorry pal but you literally turned into a huge weapon and you have no idea how to use it so!”

And so, Hibiki was never seen again...

Alright, so she really isn’t going to jail. She is genuinely being taken into custody, though. To be honest, this kind of handcuff procedure is sort-of ridiculous for someone who literally just saved children, and you could probably bribe her to join them with a 10 piece chicken dinner, but hey, fuck it. 2nd Division has protocols, and that is to arrest people.

“i cant believe i was a fan of a narc all this time”

The school has a giant elevator that goes deep into the Earth. Also, look at that symbolism. Hibiki’s the only one looking at her own reflection. Deep.

Thanks, Tsubasa.

The interior decorator for this elevator is wild.

Tsubasa forbodes where they’re all going as some ominous, strange, and evil place where joy and happiness die. Where good feelings and innocence are destroyed, and hope is crushed and ripped at the seams.

As it turns out, Tsubasa is just an angsty piece of shit.

So here’s the situation:

The 2nd Branch, which are the people in charge of poking relics until they glow with the power of music to study and harness the power of as weapons to kill the Noise, live in a several mile deep high tech basement of an all girl’s boarding school dedicated to music. This is because, for the record, that the girls recruited to this school have the habit of being a little bit attuned to these relics. Hibiki, a newly christened Gear user, is now being recruited into this organized by Genjuro.

“i never got this kind of party when i was recruited”

“thats because nobody liked you, hans”

“im skipping my soaps for this”

“fucking hate my twin brother hans”

“she?????? gets a party??? SHE. gets a party. I DON’T GET A PARTY. SHE... GETS A PARTY? and i dont get a fucking party. i was literally BORN into this job. NOBODY gives me a damn party. this MORON who CLOWNS AROUND with her SUBPAR SONGS. gets a party. oh my god. oh my GOD. FUCK. FUCK!”

“if this is what its like to get arrested i gotta be gayer and do more crimes”

“I’m not actually surprised. I’m just pretending to be. I’m just really not good at pretending to be surprised.”

“fucking hate this family, im gonna eat all of hibikis cake and cry in my room”

Remember: This show first released in 2012. Ryoko? Trendsetter.

Ryoko’s screen is very dirty and foggy. Don’t ask why. Don’t even remember why I pointed this out. Just forget this point completely.

Hibiki understands that handcuffs just aren’t fashionable.

Genjuro casually explains that they’re the fictional japanese equivalent of the NSA, all while doing magic tricks. Truly a man of many talents.

Tsubasa is already plotting how to vent about all this in her diary, which she addresses as letters of Kanade every time she writes in it.

Genjuro and Ryoko introduces themselves as everyone else apologizes to her, except Tsubasa.

Ogawa also intro- yes, I’m recycling a picture- introduces himself. He’s pretty cool, too, and serves as Tsubasa’s ninja bodyguard, butler, and all around mentor. We never get a backstory on him, and likely never will. It’s best to keep it that way; it only adds to the mystery of who the hell this guy is.

“weird flex but okay”

Hibiki realizes she’s being recruited, after being told she’s being recruited. Given some brain cells remain in her head, she asks the obvious and wonders what the hell happened to her.

“ryoko, care to explain?”

“well, it’s simple. you’re the protagonist now.”

Ryoko, who has no sense of boundaries, subjects Hibiki to a medical inspection. As creepy as her tone is, its to inspect the state of Hibiki’s newly formed gear.

She’s finally freed from that long winded event and returns home to her wife.

“buddy you smell like shit. and french fries.”

“hibiki. you’re not dead, hibiki. come on, get up. i just cleaned this floor, hibiki. hibiki, please. this is genuinely unbecoming of you. hibiki, oh my god.”

“miku please i learned how to kick ass and im tired and please let me enjoy this nice floor”

Tsubasa does the thing real life Symphogear and all related products never actually bother to do.

“god she’s so gay for her but i know she’d never cheat on me so”

Hibiki ruminates on the day she’s had. This is where the really dumb angst comes in. You see, Hibiki can’t tell anyone about what happened, and Miku, now a civilian in her eyes, cannot know about her alter ego Symphogear antics. Hibiki feels bad about this.

“y u no trust me. y u no tell me troof. im wife.”

After a brief heart to heart Hibiki smiles and snuggles her girlfriend.

They’re gay.

“im gonna marry her knowing full well she’ll sleep through the ceremony. god.”

[bi-dazai]

Hey! You! Yes, you!

Do you like fantasy stories? Of course you do. 

Do you enjoy stories of teenagers trying to deal with the typical emotional hardships of being a teenager while also handling a revolution that involves swords, magic, occasional gods chiming in to help, and the power of friendship and learning to be confident in yourself? 

And do you like the promise of not one but several endgame gay pairings? Fantasy gay pairings?! Of course you do!

Then my new online serial is for you!

Priyana is the story of three teenagers - Nik, Rada, and Kane - who find their “fate on fast forward” when the most annoying yet strangely likable character I’ve ever written cruel Prince Leander arrives in their small town. After the prince captures Amarandos (the man who raised the trio), burns their home down, and vows to destroy the escaped three kids, our trio find themselves thrust abruptly into the destiny which they thought they would be following much later on. Vowing to rescue Amarandos and reclaim the throne from Prince Leander and the evil King Olbert, they venture across the land of Priyana, learning about the true, hidden history of their country and their family, and making friends, enemies, and mending a scarred populace on the way. 

The first book, Soul, follows the trio as they attempt to recapture Amarandos and struggle with the strange new existence they have been thrown headfirst into. With nothing but each other, they must learn to work as a team and not just as three moody teenagers raised by the same man. They journey to the mountain-enshrouded city of Nahvsenn, where they encounter a passionate, well-established underground rebellion simply awaiting the moment to finally take their city back from the evil King Olbert’s reign. Could our trio be the herald of that moment?

Priyana takes strong inspiration from Avatar: The Last Airbender in terms of the exploration of themes, worldbuilding style, our main characters’ relationships with the history of the land, and character development. It is written by a bisexual non-binary with an adoration for fantasy, the written word, and using fiction to criticise the ills of the society we live in.

A recommended minimum reader age would be approximately 10-12 years old, as the work contains some death, minor violence, and minor strong language.

Priyana will be published as an online serial, with the first 4 chapters published on the 12th January, 2019, the 5th chapter published on the 19th January, and the rest of the 19 total chapters of Book One: Soul being published fortnightly (every two weeks) from the 2nd February. It will be available as a PDF with occasional sketches for the series on a Google Drive (I will post the link to the folder on my Twitter and on this blog each time it is updated) and as a text-only version in the Original Work tag on Archive Of Our Own.

Chapters range between 2000-10,000 words, so it will only take 10-20 minutes out of your day to read a chapter. Sweet! And even better - it’s totally free. That’s right. A cool fantasy story, easy to read, not to long and overbearing, for free! *Keanu Reeves voice* Whoa.

And good news! If you are just so hyped for this series that you find yourself at the edge of your seat in anticipation for mid-January, well guess what! The first chapter is currently available as a sneak-peek preview! Nice! 

Check out the first chapter here! It will only take you about 10-15 minutes to read, and even less time to reblog and share the news! Because this is the only form of advertising this thing has! 

Even more information available under the cut:

I’ve been working on this almost exclusively over the last two years. Everything is so insanely thought-out and I’m sure I must have gone over everything over a million times now. So to say this means a lot to me is an understatement.

Certain tropes in this story are criticisms and deconstructions of common fantasy tropes, particularly tropes rooted in misogyny, racism, and xenophobia. Certain character beats are familiar to character beats in other stories that I wasn’t entirely happy with - for example, in Book 2A, there’s a character beat in Rada’s arc which is remarkably similar to a character beat in Sakura’s (from Naruto) early episodes. However, I never liked how Sakura’s character change from that beat (hint: when her hair gets chopped off) was so minimal, and often she would be acting like she would when she was first introduced. Rada is probably the best example of me using different character beats and subtly implementing them in hers to, at least in my opinion, show would could be instead done with said character beats.

So yeah, this story is in essence, a lot to me. If you’ve read and shared the news, it means the world to me. Each person that reads it I am eternally thankful for. Each person that shares it and recommends it even more so. 

This isn’t my first major writing project - I’ve been writing long-form chapter books all throughout my teens, with my first chapter book having been written when I was 10 years old (sidenote - that one is a preteen mess in which I introduce vampires out of absolutely nowhere and include a wizard called Carrot-Eye). However, this is the first project I’ve written with the intent of being seen by eyes other than those in my close community of friends and family, and instead being published for those all over the world.

I struggled for a while with whether or not I would charge for this work. I’ve spent so much time and effort on it, and every day has been spent buried in Priyana, that it almost feels unfair to myself to release it for free. But as my first work, and as a poor person with few industry contacts and no industry contacts that could help me in this format, I realised it would be unwise for me to charge for it, and would make it accessible to other poor people like me. Free stories, yall!

That being said, if this project reaches a certain level of success, I’ll happily open up a Patreon, Ko-Fi and maybe a few other routes of donation. It’s my dream to be a full-time writer, and I’ve poured so much of my heart into this project already that I’m fully sure this is what I want to spend the rest of my life doing. I want to make people think with my stories, but I also want them to enjoy them and escape from real life. I want people to fall in love with my characters, to experience their emotions and to connect with my work. I hope I can do that for as many people as possible.

I’m going to now set some promises, as this series is going to be published for many years to come and my promised gay pairings are, as I mentioned, endgame, so they will be happening later on. So the following things, I promise here and now, to uphold in this series:

- there will be both a WLW and a MLM pairing with major characters

- there will be time spent exploring the dynamic and romance of said pairings

- there will be a trans girl  (hint, hint: sister girl) major character with a major character as her love interest

- there is a nonbinary character from the first chapter, who although starts as a villain, undergoes a long arc in which they eventually decide to redeem themselves on their own terms

- i promise not to demonise the gender, ethnicity, race, or customs of any minority or minority-coded characters

- at least two major characters are mixed race, with issues of race, immigration, generalisation, and xenophobia explored from the perspective of racial minorities

- issues such as the above are explored with a mindset of long, long hours and days of research into real life scholars of race, gender, sociology, etc, and especially their perspectives on fantasy and allegory

Thank you for reading this, and if you did, thank you for reading that chapter and sharing!

-Natalya

[aelinskingdom-insta]

KoA NYC event, part 2

- Am I going to die reading kingdom of ash? Yes. I mean, maybe yeaaaah. She died a million times writing her books.

- If you were stuck in a deserted island which one of your characters would you like to be stuck with? We’re ruling out any magical powers. Rowan is so intense that I would just be so scared of him, I would bring no skills to the table. He’d be fine with that but I know that he’d be just ugh you’re pathetic and you’re definitely an indoor cat. Aelin would yell at me and then I’d cry and she’d feel bad and then we’d probably be like Jack Sparrow burning all of the rum. Chaol would just spend the whole time obsessively building a raft because he’d be like “I just need to get off this island with this crazy woman”. He’d just like swim out to sea, like sea take me, Jesus take the wheel! I can’t be on this island with her. Being on an island with Manon would be like getting into one of those shark cages. Cause you know when the coconuts run out she’s going to start looking at you... like she’s not a cannibal, but like there are few lines she wouldn’t cross. She would start looking at me like a steak, like a walking steak. So I think if we’re like stuck on an island, I’d be cool with being on the island with Dorian. He’s so nice, and he’s good to look at. And like he tans nicely, he’s not like me I turn into a lobster in the sun, Dorian gets that like bronzed skin, and I’d be like “oh I’m getting sunburned give me your shirt” and we’ll make sure that you get all oiled up with coconut oil so your tan gets even better and those abs... and with Dorian we can talk about everything so we’d talk about the movies and books - I mean Dorian has obviously seen zero movies but in my fantasy he’s seen all of the movies that I love, and I think he’d be so like pleasant and he would find a way off the island or he would sacrifice himself for me to get off the island but like I’d never let go.”

- You once said that you had a last line planned for kingdom of ash, is that what ended up being the last line of the book? (That was my question kfksojdkaoajsoa) It is. So I had a bunch of different endings in mind over the years and when I was in Costa Rica in 2013 on vacation and we took this little tour up to this place called the Monteverde cloud forest and it’s one of the most unique incredible places in the world. It was on top of a mountain range and this cloud forest exists in the clouds. And we were doing the drive up into the mountains and we got to this lookout point, and these beautiful mountains were spread around us and I was listening to music in the back of this van trying not to puke on all those tiny roads and we got to this point where the clouds just like opened up and all of this sunshine just came flooding down all around these mountains and the music was just swelling at this one point and I just heard the voice in my head, I heard the last line for the series, and I, surprise, burst into tears. I was with my husband’s family and they were like what’s happening with her? And I was like the view is so gorgeous I’m so moved by the mountains - and I was, but I was like holy shit I just heard the last line of my series! It was like an out of body experience and I loved this last line so so much that I was like Aelin please please don’t fuck this up for me, we gotta get to that last line girl we gotta make it to that and we did. She and I got there somehow, if she survives... *nervous laughing* yeah the last line is “aelin was rotting in her grave with the valg bunnies for ever. And then the bunnies hopped along and fed off of her corpse.“

- How does safe sex work between fae? *laughs and snorts* I was want you guys to know that my family is here today. Like my parents and my grandma. I’ll tell you a little story, my grandma is amazing she’s almost 88 years old, she just came back from 2 weeks in Argentina, she travels all over the world. She’s the most incredible lady. I think about 2 years ago, my grandma is in this book club with a bunch of ladies her age, and they picked acotar as their monthly read. And they wanted to know about the sex. So right before acomaf came out and I said “you know grandma you might not want to read acomaf because there’s a lot of graphic sex.” And grandma was like “well that sounds right up my alley“! So I feel like my grandma is probably cool with me talking about safe sex for the fae. But I like to imagine that they’ve got like tonics and potions that they take, like instead of popping birth control pills, where it’s all on the woman to have to be on birth control, like the man can *Sarah picks up her glass of water* drink their daily “not get a woman knocked up juice”. [...] Maybe we’ll have like a little novella where it’s like “the ladies talk about birth control, a nice Holliday special”.

- Which name came first, Celaena or Aelin? Celaena was the first name that popped into my head. When I began writing the books, I knew I wanted a cool name that meant something neat and I was a big fan of the Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle, and there’s a harpie named Celaeno. Celaeno is a real character in Greek mythology and her name means Dark One and I was like oooh Dark One that’s a badass name for an assassin but Celaeno sounds like a burly Italian man *with an Italian accent* “it’s me Celaeno!”. No, so me being 16 years old I swaped the o for an a and that’s how Celaena was born. But what was really weird is that when I named Fleetfoot, like immediately I was like this dog is really fast what do I call her, fleetfoot, but then a couple of years later I was looking into Celaeno the harpie’s mythological origins to see if there was anything I could pull, any little nods that I could have in throne of glass, little references and Easter eggs for Celaena’s name source and I saw that one of Celaeno‘ other names was Fleetfoot, like one of her nicknames, and I was like what the hell... this is why I feel like all of this is happening on another planet and I’m just channeling it somehow. And I don’t even remember where Aelin came from as a name, sometimes I just hear the names in my head and like thank god for those moments cause I hate naming characters. Sometimes I just hear names in my head like I heard Aelin’s name, I heard Feyre’s name, I heard Bryce Quinlan’s name and that’s just how I know, when I hear a name, that’s the name and it’s a weird thing and it sticks and it makes a character come alive in a way. And actually when I first first first wrote throne of glass, Celaena was just an assassin and by chapter three I was like oh and you’re also a magical princess named Aelin, surprise! Cause obviously there has to be a princess involved because of Sailer Moon, the Moon princess. I think Aelin would have enjoyed Sailer Moon, by the way. Aelin would love living in this world, she would never get off her couch cause she would constantly be binge-watching tv shows. iTunes, Aelin would go crazy just like Spotify, all the music. I wish I could open a Wyrdgate and bring her into the world for the day (YEAH WE WISH WE COULD DO THAT TOO). I‘m going to write fan fiction about that. That wouldn’t be weird at all. “Aelin and I hanging out around New York.” Dorkiest fan fiction of all times.

- What is your favorite scene of the series? One of the first that jumped to my mind is in HoF, when Aelin and the Valg are facing off and Aelin goes through all of her memories, and it’s like ripping her apart but then she learns to face them and she comes out of the darkness and puts her hand over the prince’s mouth and blasts them into ash. When I wrote that scene I just sobbed and sobbed, and I was so pumped up I didn’t know what to do with myself. I loved that. In ToD, the whole Nestaq scenes… like basically everything of them together, but when they go off into the mountains together like that I could have made that book a thousand pages long just because I loved them so much and Borte, and the whole thing with them and the spiders. Tower of Dawn was such a fun book for me to write, I loved that book. And in EoS when Aelin and Rolfe, oh my god when Aelin is like talking to Rowan and she’s like I haven’t met you, and he’s like oh I’m taken and she’s like your girlfriend must be so hot and then when Aelin puts one of Rolfe’s emeralds in her mouth and throws it out across the room. When I was writing it, I had my feet on my desk, channeling Aelin so hard. I mean the entire ending of empire of storms was just so horrible and brutal, and all of those ships show up and they realise that Aelin arranged for everything, I just like... lost it. And all of QoS. I mean when Lysandra shows up and saves Aedion and Rowan and destroys all of those soldiers as a leopard, Aelin and Dorian when Dorian shatters the Glass Castle, I loved that. I mean literally like any moment in the series I’ve loved. In the Assassin’s Blade, I loved writing about that riverfront party when they’re all dancing and having fun and Aelin going to the theatre... I mean every moment was my favorite. Aelin versus Manon. When Manon first encounters Abraxos and gets thrown into the pit, when she and Abraxos team up. Oh my god, I’m going to cry thinking about all of these moments. Like a whole montage went through my head, with a nice music playing. Here’s the time Manon ripped out that guy’s throat. Here’s when Aelin gutted a man. Nice family memories.

- What power would you want in throne of glass? I think I’d want to be a shapeshifter. I mean who doesn’t want to ability to turn into a sea wyvern and take on horrible sea creature. *whispering and pointing to herself* Not this person. I would love to be able to turn into a bird and fly, a worm... there’s like so much of the world to see, so many ways to experience it that I would want to try out so many different shapes and then the cool party trick like hey do you want to see me turn into a worm? I would like freeze in that moment and they would be like turn into something cool, turn into a wolf or a badger, and I’d be like I can do a worm... and then we would get home later and I’d be like damnit why didn’t I turn into a wolf I can do it! You know when you have that comeback that you remember two hours later that haunts you for years, like that would be me as a shapeshifter I would forget my cool forms and I would do all of the really sad ones. All the time. The worm and a pigeon... pizza rat, that’s what I’d turn into. Pizza rat is my patronus. *laughing* It’s true.

- If there is one message that you would want the readers to take away from the throne of glass series, what would it be? I think looking back at this crazy, amazing journey, at the end of the day I think I would want you guys to take away the message that, and this is going to sound really corny but you can literally do anything that you put your mind to. You can survive anything, and that you’re stronger than you realise. And that no matter how many times you get knocked down, you can get back up. And never stop getting back up. And even when the world tells you that you aren’t good enough, that your dream is stupid or that it’ll never happen, you keep your eyes on the prize and you never listen to those people. You can make it. You’ve got a dream. You can achieve it. I somehow did it, and if I did it you guys can do it. And I hope that Aelin and Manon and Rowan and Chaol and all of them inspired you to never give up, even when it feels hopeless, never give up. It gets better. Even when things seem really dark and really hard... *starts crying* you asked this question! Whoever wrote that I hate you. Even when things seem really dark and really hard, that doesn’t last forever, and you can get through it. And you’ve got strength that you don’t even realise. You can find that strength, and you’ll make it. And I love you guys. At the end of the day, I want you guys to walk away from these books feeling like you can take on the world. And you can do anything. And if that’s what I’ve accomplished with these books, then I can die happy, I guess. If anybody ever puts down what you love, screw them. I love you guys, to whatever end.