#hey did you guys know that if you put a hashtag and then a space in front of your discord text it gets bold and massive

[reactionimagesdaily]

[do-it-jakey-baby]

An Unlikely Encounter

Jake Kiszka x f!reader

Warnings: language, physical violence, mentions of agoraphobia (I think that’s it, sorry if there’s more!)

18+, MINORS DNI

TAGLIST: @torniturntomyarrow

Sorry, no smut in this one! But I promise there’s more juicy content around the corner. 😉

Chapter 3

3.6k word count

You froze solid as her words sunk in.

You’re trending.

Everyone thinks you’re Jake Kiszka’s new girlfriend.

Your world seemed to spin at a nauseating pace. You could hear your best friend still speaking to you on the other end of the phone but her words fizzled into the abyss. Your fingers frantically darted across the screen of your phone as you searched across social media, finding your face plastered across every site, every Greta Van Fleet hashtag. You were there in every nook, cranny and corner of the fandom. People were asking the same questions. Who is she? Does anyone know her? Where did she come from? Is she British? Is she Jake Kiszka’s girlfriend? Is she nice?

“Y/N!! Hello?!” You hear blaring from your outstretched palm.

“Katrina, what the fuck is happening?!” You babbled, barely fighting back the sob that was threatening to bubble up from your chest. All of the commotion had Jake running back into the room, his eyes wide and hands flailing.

“Y/N, what is it? Are you ok?”

You put your phone on speaker. “Kat, please, you tell him. I can’t think straight right now.”

“Uhh… ok, I’m guessing that’s Jake with you? Hi, Jake. I’m Katrina, Y/N’s best friend.”

“Hi, Katrina. Yeah, it’s Jake. What the fuck is going on?”

“You might want to see for yourself, my guess is if you check any of your social media accounts it’ll be there ready and waiting.”

Jake scoured the floor to find his jeans and retrieved his phone from the pocket. Unlocking the screen, he clicked into an app and sighed. He knew this all too well, anyone who got even remotely close to one of the band members was dissected by their fanbase almost instantaneously.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry, I should have known better before asking you to get in the picture with us earlier.”

You were still in a state of shock, going from a nobody to a somebody within the space of 24 hours was eating away at you. You’d never experienced anything like this before, you always faded into the crowd. You rarely received attention and you kinda liked it that way.

“What happens now?” You speak up, your voice meek and raspy.

“I’ll call the guys, but it’s not a big deal. Shit like this blows over, it’s not a controversy. Danny has a lot of female friends, he’s well versed in this.”

“Ok, in your world it might not be a big deal, but it is in mine. I am a nobody from a small town in South England, Jake. Now my face is all over the internet!” You throw yourself down onto the bed in frustration, hiding your face in the peaks of the duvet.

“If it helps, babe, most people are just commenting on how pretty you are.” Kat chimes in. You’d almost forgot she was still on the phone.

“I’ll leave you to it, but I want you to call me ASAP and fill me in. I want to know how the hell you managed to meet our favourite band. Sorry, Jake, but a girl needs the deets.”

“I understand. Well, hey, I’m sure we could arrange something so that you get to meet your favourite band too.” Jake chuckled.

“I’ll take that as payment for holding my best friend captive for the last 24 hours, Kiszka. Y/N, I’ll call tomorrow. Love you, bye.”

Jake sat beside you and placed a gentle hand on your back. You let out an exaggerated groan and lifted your face up to look at him.

“Make all of your accounts private, if they aren’t already. It’ll blow over, angel.”

He placed a soft kiss to your forehead and handed you the damp washcloth.

“Thank you, but I actually just think I’ll jump in the shower, if that’s ok?”

“Of course, angel. I’ll go warm it up for you.” He squeezed your thigh and moved to the bathroom. You heard him flip the water on, the sound of it splashing down onto the shower tray instantly soothing you. It was just what you needed, you longed to feel the steam on your face and wash away the stress you’d ensued over the complete bomb your best friend had dropped onto your life. Yeah, maybe you were overreacting, but the thought of your face being burnt into every fan’s memory was filling you with dread. You began to sweat again, pulling yourself back into a panic, but just as you started slipping Jake was there again. The comfort of his presence lulled you back into a feeling of security. He grounded you, and that was a difficult thing for anyone to do, let alone a man you’d known for a mere 48 hours. He took your hand and guided you off the bed, pressing it against the small of your back and drawing you in. His other hand manoeuvred to cup your jaw and he captured you in a kiss that was sweeter than honey. You were falling under his spell so quickly, you hadn’t even realised the extent yet.

“Mind if I join you?”

“I was hoping you’d ask.” You breathed, grasping at his hair as you pulled him back in for another kiss.

~

You and Jake spent the entire week together. You’d made passing comments about how you were intruding on his time with his band and should probably get going, but he was having none of it and always insisted you stayed. You couldn’t help the incessant intrusive thoughts from bouncing off every corner of your brain.

Why would he want to spend time with me?

Surely I’m just something to pass the time?

He’s going to get bored of me soon and move onto the next girl…

But each time, he silently proved you wrong. You’d never experienced intimacy like this. He was so attentive to your every need, always making sure you were comfortable, thinking about even the smallest of details. He had learnt so much about you and continuously surprised you with how much he absorbed. He knew your favourite bubble tea place that was tucked away secretly behind the bustling streets, and that your go-to was the honeydew melon milk tea (soy milk, you were lactose intolerant), light ice, semi-sweetness, with lychee popping bubbles. He knew you struggled in public and had previously battled with agoraphobia. He knew all the right places to touch you and could turn you into a whining, shaking mess at the snap of his fingers. He was unlike any other man you’d met before and any other man you’d ever meet again. The feelings that you felt after your week together were terrifying, because you knew he could disappear at the drop of a hat and all of the walls you’d meticulously built up over time would come crashing down around you, crushing you under the rubble and burying you alive. The unknown left you feeling nauseous with crippling anxiety. You liked control, craved it. If you were in control, the only person who could hurt you, was you. But here you were, your fragile heart entirely in the hands of another being.

On his last evening in London before they left for Dublin, Kat invited them over to her flat for dinner. You had joined her early to help her prep, your hands shaking as you chopped the tomatoes.

“Y/N, dude. Will you chill, please? I don’t fancy a trip to A&E tonight because you’ve severed your finger.” She rolls her eyes and places her hand on top of yours, signalling for you to put the knife down.

“But I want to help! You can’t do everything Katrina, even if you’d prefer that I wasn’t in your way.” You giggle at her, picking the tea towel up off the side to wipe your hands.

“Yeah you’re right, get the fuck out of my kitchen before you burn the place down.” She winks. You ball the tea towel up in your hands and throw it at her, it landing on her head, draping over her face.

“You have 3 seconds to get out of my sight before I kick your ass.”

“Ok, ok. I’ll go and get ready. Call me if you need me.”

“I won’t!”

You walk away, chuckling to yourself. You loved your friendship with Kat. She was more like your sister than your best friend, the only person who was a constant in your life, and she held a special place in your heart. There wasn’t much room in there for anyone else, you’d closed yourself off from the world long ago. Too many disappointments, people came and went and you weren’t interested in temporary. You sat down at your vanity and stared at the reflection in the mirror. Did tonight have to come around so soon?

You’d just finished off your hair when you heard the doorbell chime. Standing up, you smoothed the front of your satin skirt and took a deep breath. As you opened the door you were greeted by 4 beaming faces.

“Y/N, you look positively radiant, my dear!” Josh’s voice rang out as he pushed to the front and wrapped his arms around you.

“Hi Josh.” You smiled into his curls.

One by one the boys greeted you with friendly embraces and entered the flat, until it was just you and Jake stood there.

“Hi, Angel.” He grinned, bending to press a kiss to your cheek. You turned your face and your hand found your way up into his hair as your lips crashed against his. Jake, seemingly taken aback by your forwardness, relaxed and melted into your kiss. His hands snaked around your waist and he pulled you closer into him.

“Miss me?” He teased, lips still pressed against yours. You pulled back, raising an eyebrow, before turning to make your way in. You hear him chuckle to himself softly.

“Thank you all so much for coming.” You address the room.

“It is our pleasure, thank you lovely ladies for hosting.” Sam replies. He’s over by the oven next to Kat, watching her intently as she stirs the sauce on the hob. Kat is probably one of the most beautiful women you’ve ever seen, her features are sharp and pixie-like, with big green eyes like pools of molten emerald. Her long, auburn hair is naturally curly and is styled in a half up-do. It’s not hard to see why Sam is hovering.

“So, Kat, how long have you been a fan?” Sam questions, leaning on the counter next to her.

“Who says I’m a fan?” She responds with a wink.

“I did!” Jake yells from the sofa.

“I never said who I was a fan of.” You think you can just about see Sam’s heart pounding in his chest, like something out of the Looney Tunes. The thought makes you snort on your drink, but you quickly re-direct the attention away.

“Who’s hungry? Kat’s made her family’s famous spaghetti.”

“And no, you may not have the recipe.” Kat smirks.

Everyone tucks in and you hear a symphony of slurps and mmms.

“Kat, where did you learn to cook like this? It’s amazing!” Danny asks.

“My Nonna is Italian, so she’s very strict about how my family cook. This recipe has been passed down through generations.”

“Jake is somewhat of a chef himself.” Josh offers, receiving a swift elbow to the ribs by Jake.

“I’m not that good!”

When everyone has finished eating and complimenting Kat on her culinary skills, Sam jumps up from the table to retrieve the dirty plates and carries them to the sink.

“Oh yeah, who are you trying to impress, Sam?” You probe.

His head snaps to look at you and his cheeks flush. “Uhh no, no one. Just being a helpful guest.” He grins sheepishly. Kat walks over to him, placing a hand on his arm. “It’s appreciated Samuel, thank you.” She places a quick kiss to his cheek and opens the dishwasher for him.

“Oooo Sam’s got a girlfriend!”You tease.

The evening seems to pass in a flash, everyone seeming to love Kat just as much as they love you. As they prepare to leave, Jake stands and clears his throat. You look at him in anticipation.

“So, as you know we’re continuing our tour in Dublin tomorrow, then we have another two UK venues before we head further South.” He pauses, glancing at the boys. “We’ve all been talking, and if you want to we’d love you to come to our last stop in Europe.” You stand, wide-eyed, wondering if you’ve heard him correctly.

“Your last show is in Portugal.”

“Yeah, don’t worry, everything would be taken care of. Your flights, hotel, tickets and VIP passes.”

“Jake, that’s too much.”

“Y/N, we’ve made two fantastic friends this week. We want you to be there.” Josh smiles, placing his hand over yours that you didn’t event realise was nervously clawing into your knee. Kat looks over at you and nods. She runs her own business so is free to to clear her schedule, and you’re currently in between jobs and in the meantime have been helping her out with admin and other ‘tedious shit’ she has no care for.

“Ok.” You breathe. The lads whoop and cheer around you, pulling you both into a group hug. Danny pulls out his phone and gathers you round, flipping his camera to the front and yelling “Say cheese!”. Jake loops his arms around your waist as you all huddle together to get into the frame. Just as Danny presses the button to take the photo, Sam plants a kiss onto Kat’s cheek.

“Mind if I post this to my story?” Danny asks.

“Yeah, fuck it. My face is everywhere now anyway.” You laugh. Kat nods her approval and the photo is uploaded. You all say your goodbyes and Jake lingers by the door, his face sombre.

“Hey, you’ll see me in two weeks.” You place a hand on his cheek.

“Two weeks too long.” He huffs, lacing his fingers between yours. You stand there for a few moments, soaking up the last moments with him for a while. He caresses your cheek and captures you in a tender kiss. The world seems to slow to a stop and it’s just you and Jake in that moment, nothing else matters but him. Jake Jake Jake.

He pulls away, eyes filled with sorrow. “Goodbye, angel. Take care of yourself. I’ll message you every day.”

“Bye, Jake.” The door shuts and then he’s gone. You sink down to the floor, warm tears rolling down your cheeks and onto your hands.

Why are you crying? Sort yourself out, woman!

Kat’s footsteps echo down the hall and she finds a space on the floor next to you, wrapping her arms around you.

“Hey, you just think about us tearing it up in Portugal. None of that, please.” She gestures to your tear streaked face and hands. “I’m going to the shop to pick up some tequila, god knows you need it tonight. We’ll stick on a shitty movie and talk about all the carnage we’ll create, they’ll never invite us anywhere again after this.” She laughs and you join in, always finding her playfulness infectious.

“I’ll be back before you can say ‘I miss my rockstar boyfriend’”.

“He’s not my boyfriend!” You smack her arm, then allow her to pull you off the floor. You plod into the bathroom and remove your makeup, then slip into some cosy pyjamas and settle down onto the sofa. A few moments pass and you hear a knock at the door. Chuckling to yourself, you assume Kat has forgotten her keys for the millionth time, so begin making your way to the front door.

“When will you learn to-”

Your blood runs cold at the sight before you.

“Connor, what the fuck are you doing here?” Your ex-boyfriend stands there, disheveled and reeking of cheap vodka and cigarettes.

“What the fuck are you doing? Not just giving it out to any randomer like the filthy slut you are. You’re fucking Jake Kiszka?!”

“It’s none of your fucking business who I’m fucking!”You huff.

The fury bubbling from within him is evident, he’s shaking in blind rage with his fists balled at his sides, knuckles white.

“How long have you been fucking him? You’ve always oozed groupie mentality, you disgusting whore. I’m sure he’s just using you for an easy lay.” He spits.

“Get the fuck out of here you freak! What you’re stalking me now?! You don’t own me, Connor!”

He charges into the door, knocking you down in the process. As he lunges forwards, two men walking past spot the commotion and run to pull him off you. They throw him onto the pavement outside and he shuffles to his feet before fleeing the scene.

“Are you ok, love?”

You can’t even respond, your whole body wracking with sobs as they roll from deep within your chest.

“Y/N, what the fuck?! What’s happened?!” Kat screeches from across the road, her arms littered with shopping bags.

You zone out as the two men explain what they witnessed. How had your evening taken this much of a turn? In your trance you’re being lifted and placed into your bed. Kat thanks the men and sees them out, then crawls into bed behind you and holds you, stroking your hair gently until you cry yourself to sleep.

[oggrrrl]

It was this or Medium…

I feel like I just opened a MySpace account. Do people still use this? Can I tell you how much I hate social media today? In the beginning, it was all very much like Tumblr which is, I suppose, why I’m here, what attracted me to say fuck it, let’s go. Time to leap into the new Millennium! Hell, I was pretty damn content with AOL. I forget completely what it was but I forgot the name of something the other day and it wasn’t something I could Google. Do you know how nice that feeling was? A feeling I’d felt thousands of times before but never knew I’d miss one day: lying in bed thinking, trying to come up with the name of something and having nothing but my own brain to rely on.

And it made me realize, how many feelings like that have I not felt in 15 years that I don’t know because the internet stops me from feeling them? Waiting for the phone to ring or someone’s car to come down my street. Putting something in my pocket a day walking out of a store knowing that there is no camera or loss prevention person looking at me. Just walking down the street knowing there’s no camera looking at me. Waiting to get photos developed. Writing notes to people on paper (typed or on loose leaf) and passing them in class or putting them in the mail. Calling Moviefone. Hurrying to pee and get a snack during the commercial break. Being so OVER MTV because their commercial breaks were twice as long as every other channel. Walking every Sunday to my aunt’s house so excited for the next 2 totally new hours of Sopranos and 6 Feet Under. Or the bittersweet feel of Sunday night: school the next day but first, the Simpsons and at least 1 other good show whether it was Herman’s Head or Family Guy. Knowing that if I Love Lucy was on, I had stayed up to the point where I would be exhausted the next day. If I heard The Andy Griffith whistling theme, I was in real deep shit.

There is a disconnect from life now. There is an expectedness. There is a way things will go and a world we have each tailored to ourselves, half on a screen and half in our heads. And we live there more often than not and only sometimes do some of us realize that it is not real, that it is built on the masks we wear and the compulsions we hide from others even if they are a foot away, staring right at us. That kids are growing up in this world. That some people spend so much time in it that not only do they entertain the notion at some point that the other, the physical world, is really just secretly like their pretend world but that it becomes painful for them to have to interact in physical space, anxiety inducing and wrong-feeling.

Great first post. Like people actually read anymore? 2 lines of text is a “novel” (bring back Cometbus dear god. Walls of text so true they can’t not be read) and teenagers can’t read cursive. Well, that last bit is kind of funny as it means that we have a secret language, a de oder ring built into our brains with which we can communicate about people under a certain age (when did they stop teaching it?) without their knowledge, in front of them. If I had kids I would so use thisfailing of the svhool system against them. Bwa ha ha.

And now, as this is a blog, and the word aesthetics has replaced authentic at some point and the most meaningful career choice has become graphic design, a photo. And some hashtags as they even feel rather quaint at this point. And, hey, question. What’s the rules re: NSFW content on this? Asking for a friend. Ha! Jules

[fexalted]

finishing off season 1 let's gooo

1x21 - the return of the archons

things i know about it:

brainwashing episode (‼️‼️‼️)

spock nun outfit

fun outfits for everyone really

but most importantly Brainwashing Episode 👁👁

i'm gonna be so normal about this i prommy

thoughts:

what do you mean i've been mentally pronouncing archons wrong for years

"they're the sweetest, friendliest people in the universe" oh yep they're a cult

ah i see they've learned from their misadventure at the airbase, they got their disguises ready before they beam down

what is this?? the purge???

[miette voice] "you MOCK the lawgivers?" "you SCORN festival??"

jim has no right to look as good as he does in that silly little outfit

hi landru i love your shiny robes

fascinated by this place being called a paradise free of crime and evil or whatever. bro you just had everyone going buckwild in the streets and breaking windows and shit

oughhg brainwashed bones :((

the fight is heartbreaking, don't make jim fight his bestie,, neither of us wants this

man i wish it was that easy to break down cults irl, trying to argue with them usually ends with *you* being the one to explode

i'm glad there's crew staying behind to like help them establish a normal society 🙏 i was fully expecting them to be like "well anyway bye" and leave all those people with no guidance after they'd spent their entire lives under mind control

oh so we don't get to see bones un-brainwashed huh? you're just gonna do that to me?? end the episode without letting me see my little buddy??? :'(

1x22 - space seed

remember:

KHAN

KHAAAAAAN

forgot:

"the last vessel of that class was built in the 1990s" you guys sure were optimistic about how much space travel we'd be doing in 30 years lmao

oh okay maybe not that optimistic considering we were supposed to be having a world war then

convenient that they wrapped all these people up in fishing nets before putting them in suspended animation

bones with a knife held to his throat being like "hey make it quick and cut the carotid" agdjsgdj man's got balls of steel

god, khan is such a good looking man. i'm still mad about into darkness btw they did him so dirty, hashtag not my khan

yknow it always did bother me that there's only one exit on the bridge. this is the exact type of emergency situation where you need multiple escape routes. what kind of building codes are they operating on in the 23rd century. someone get me a job with space osha

they're compressing jim like a jpg in there

shatner stunt double moment

kinda wild that jim gave mcgivers the option to be exiled with khan and his crew and even wilder that she said yes lmao, like girl i know he's beautiful but he's a war criminal dfjdhfksj

1x23 - a taste of armageddon

what i know:

haven't seen this ep and don't recognize the title so i'm going in blind!

thoughts:

right off the bat we've got an ambassador in the ugliest outfit i've seen all season

oh good they have better fashion down on the planet

"i am mea 3" and this is my friend logan 6

omg i was making a joke but it kinda is a bizarre logan's run situation

hell yeah you can't trick scotty that easily

hey why don't we ever hear more about the fact that spock can telepathically influence people thru walls, seems like that would come in handy a lot

"sir there is a multi-legged creature crawling on your shoulder" LMAO i love that that worked

oh i got so caught up in it i forgot to keep writing here lol

anyway good episode, love to see scotty get more screentime and enjoyed watching jim do the kirk karate chop several times 👏

when i had first started the ep i thought it was gonna be the birth control one (haven't seen that one either, can't remember the title), and like. can you imagine if the two plots were fused? government dealing with overpopulation manufactures a fake war where casualties are calculated by computer so people will be perfectly willing to walk into disintegration chambers and die

would that be fucked up or what

well anyway, moving on

1x24 - this side of paradise

remember:

sex pollen episode

spock climbs a tree

bones makes a mint julep

on another note, for personal reasons i find it v funny that the episodes with "armageddon" and "paradise" in the titles come right after one another. a little joke for the exvangelical in me

forgot:

"mr spock and i have met before" cut to spock standing there completely deadpan and silent lmao

oh these people are creepy

spock pollen allergy real

girl stop touching him you're being weird

"i've never seen a dragon" "i have" oh so we're just gonna drop that fun little factoid and never address it again huh

jim you were like one step away from getting pollen blasted, put a mask on or something

oh cool we've got plants on the ship already, this'll be fine

jim all alone on the ship :'( he looks so sad

OH SHIT HE GOT POLLENED

jim: gotta pack my cute green shirt

"aroused, his great physical strength could kill" shfjshfjksfkd

SPOCK WITH THE STEEL CHAIR

bones and his exaggerated southern drawl is killing me and i can't tell if it's in a funny way or a cringy way dhfjshfj

"would you like to see just how fast i can put you in a hospital?" fuck him up bones!!!

bones coming up on the bridge just to show off how good his eyeshadow looks in this final scene, i see you my man 👏

1x25 - the devil in the dark

things i know:

horta episode!!

bones is a doctor not a bricklayer

but by golly he's beginning to think he can cure a rainy day

thoughts:

remarkably flat floors in this cave

this poor guy's gonna get eaten

called it, rip schmitter v_v

sweet purple jumpsuit my guy

pondering that orb (egg?)

man i wish i could go explore some caves rn (real) (without monsters in them)

one redshirt down, rip

THERE IT IS

and it's gone

oh whoa the piece they cut off of it is still moving. also looks kinda like a meatball pizza

kirk you fool don't split up to check the tunnels, has scooby doo taught you nothing

okay genuinely, Extremely Cool vfx when it burns a hole in the rock and comes out of the wall

oh well well well, mr shoot to kill kirk isn't so quick on the trigger now that he's looking at the thing is he? (meanwhile spock's like "kill it kill it!" now that it's jim's life in danger lmao)

ough that mind meld. spock going thru it

the eggs :'(

spackle that thang, doctor

aw i wanted to see baby hortas

a+ trio banter at the end, i wuv them

1x26 - errand of mercy

what i know:

klingons in it

jim wears a cute shirt

the title is familiar but i think it's only bc i recently watched a tng ep where they were like "we're on an errand of mercy" lol (s3 ep "the high ground", aka the one with "the irish unification of 2024" line)

you would not believe the ordeal i've gone thru just to watch this one. the google drive i'd been using had a problem with the file for this ep and i couldn't play it, so i rented a dvd box set from the library. plugged in my dvd player that's older than some people on this website, then spent like 15 mins fighting with it bc i couldn't get the audio working (no dialogue, only bg music), and then i could only get it to play in spanish. finally got it sorted, but there's no english subtitles for these dvds so i've gotta use the transcript site 😭 i will press on but i'm upset and need everyone to know about my woes and miseries

thoughts:

jesus christ the music surprised me as much as that attack surprised them

this looks like the same place they beamed down to at the beginning of arena, just less exploded

was that goat green

how did they even initiate contact with this planet when they're like. fully living medieval times down here dhfjsjfk

"8 space vehicles have assumed orbit around our planet" okay how do you know that my man

aw spock gets a fun outfit too :')

boy that tos klingon makeup sure was...... something

"i have a tongue" "good, you will be taught how to use it" 1) did not realize that bit was from this ep, 2) goddamn the gifs / screenshots were not exaggerating the vibe of that moment at all shfjhdfkd

don't like the sound of the mind-ripper

KIRK FLYING SQUIRREL ATTACK

okay kirk and kor need to stop looking at each other like that shfshfkf

ngl i was getting some cult vibes about the organians at the start but i feel like whatever's up with them is in fact weirder

oh so they can just. force them to stop fighting. well hey that's a solution

"no one has died here in thousands of years" what

me when spock says "pure energy": omg he said the thing he says in that one song!! ("what's on your mind" by information society)

at the risk of sounding like spock i'm trying to hold back from saying it's fascinating, but i really love the variety in the types of extradimensional beings they've encountered, yknow? like:

every other episode: we're the fuck with you aliens and we're here to fuck with you this episode: we're the stop fucking with each other aliens and we're here to make you stop fucking with each other

anyway interesting ep, however mccoy wasn't in it so was it really worth the journey i had to embark on to watch it? 🤔

1x27 - the alternative factor

what i know:

nothing! let's go!

thoughts:

ooh pretty galaxy overlay effect

they've totally filmed at this location before lmao

omg look at that cute lil saucer

nice beard, guy

these special effects shfjshfks

bonessss i missed you :')

"i'm a bright young medic with a miraculous touch" hell yeah you are, babygirl ❤️

okay so. is this guy the thing? and he's like. fighting half of himself every time the phenomenon happens??

my brother you did not have to fall off the mountain like that, there had to be other ways of climbing down

bones: "he's not going anywhere, not this time" *bones immediately leaves the room, lazarus immediately gets up to leave* okay good effort team djsjfkshf

ohh it's a parallel universe, i see now. so you're saying we need to kill him

"he must be stopped, destroyed if necessary" ahfjsgkfsh i didn't expect spock to agree with me

bro i don't think handling those high voltage things with a little piece of cloth is gonna protect you. or at least, it shouldn't

OH SHIT JIM GOT ZAPPED TO THE NEGAVERSE

oh okay sending him back was easier than i expected

lmao the way jim fully gets lifted off the ground when he's fighting lazarus. stay back everyone your captain's got it handled

rip to the two lazaruses tho, time to move on and forget all about them

1x28 - the city on the edge of forever

remember:

bones accidentally injects himself with cordrazine, goes a little crazy, beams down to a planet, and throws himself back in time. just a regular tuesday

Edith Keeler Must Die

world's best hug immediately followed by world's most tragic car accident :(

forgot:

these transporter techs gotta stop standing with their backs to the door

lmao spock's offended face at "your science knowledge is obviously primitive"

agdjshfjsj jim trying to lie to the cop

spock you're taking over the whole room with that machine

the thing about this ep is that in my mind it's like "bones episode! :D" but in reality he spends half the time missing in action lol

anyway he's here now and just ripped the hat off that man's head shfkdjdk

oh. that guy just vaporized himself. well that surely won't have any impact on the future

oouugh edith leading bones away right as spock comes in so they don't see each other 😭 (real talk those type of moments agitate me so much in movies, i'm glad they only did it once here)

the ending continues to be sad as fuck. not even a little aftermath scene on the bridge to reflect about it, just "let's get the hell out of here," roll credits :(

man they don't even address like, what to do with the time portal. like you can't just leave it there for any random person to stumble into, but at the same time it's like, would you destroy the only machine of its kind?

well actually considering they did that to landru, i guess the answer is yes lmao, moving on!

1x29 - operation -- annihilate!

what i know:

spock gets blinded by mccoy and his big bright flashlight

but it's cool bc he has a third eyelid just like a kitty cat

do we meet sam kirk in this one? i can't remember if he's actually in the ep or if he just dies offscreen

thoughts:

not me mentally pronouncing "deneva" like "geneva" for the past decade agfjshfjsk

rip icarus

oh my god i've been pronouncing aurelan wrong too. why does this keep happening

aw man rip sam too v_v

goddamn they're dropping like flies in this ep

oh shit we got metroids

"captain, it doesn't even look real!" [shot of slime pancake on the ground] agdjsgfjhs yeah you're not wrong

YOU FOOLS YOU TURNED YOUR BACKS ON IT

they needed like four people to take down spock and they really thought those bed restraints were gonna hold him? lmao

spock is such a funny character, like "oh they're not letting me beam down to the planet, clearly the logical thing to do is knock them out so i can just go"

"what other properties does the sun have?" "it exists physically" so do most things spock that can't be the first and most important thing you have to say about it shfjdjfjfk

mcspirk squished into the doorway moment uwu

say goodbye to your eyeballs, boy

"bones it wasn't your fault" :'(((

AUGH the angst of it all, i'm biting my arm off

and of course when spock gets his sight back he just shrugs the whole thing off like it was no big deal, like sir we all saw how shaken you were, you can't downplay this

"please don't tell spock i said he was the best first officer in the fleet" personally i think all three of you should just admit you love each other and kiss already sgdjshfksmd

SEASON 2 NEXT TIME WAHOO GET READY FOR PON FARR NIGHT FRIDAY

watching tos for the first time since like, roughly 2012/13-ish? i don't remember what year it was, or why i only got thru most of season 1 before stopping

it's been fun to refresh my swiss cheesed memory with this tho so here's a semi-liveblog of the first 10 eps that i watched over the past couple weeks

1x01 - the man trap

things i remembered beforehand:

salt monster

"plum" uwu

that gay little run and crawl jim does when he's taking cover (it fills me with such delight)

things i did not remember:

how many people died, good god man it's only the first episode

1x02 - charlie x

things i remembered:

jim's bright red exercise pants

that stupid fucking face charlie makes when he uses his powers

not liking this ep at all when i first watched it, possibly due to me being around the same age as charlie at the time

additional thoughts: i enjoyed it more this time and felt more sympathetic for charlie. poor kid needed some parents, and also, like, a hug

1x03 - where no man has gone before

things i remembered:

bones isn't in it :'( (bored) (sad) (missing my bestie)

"James R Kirk"

that post i saw on here recently about how their contacts were made of glass

the only thing i could think about while watching:

their contacts

were made

of GLASS

(yes i understand this was how contacts were made back then. still freaked out by the concept of people putting glass in their eyes on purpose)

1x04 - the naked time

things i remembered:

sweat disease

sulu fencing

oh kathleen

"ONE-MORE-TIME!!"

"love mankind"

spock breakdown (extremely uncomfortable to watch)

bones casually ripping jim's shirt sleeve to jab him in the arm (extremely hilarious every time i think about it)

did not remember:

anything about them almost crashing into a planet lol

jim's little monologue when he gets infected (lmao)

time warp???

additional thoughts: hey remember when they reused this plot in tng and tasha and data fucked (<- literally the only thing i can remember about it) ((edit from future fex: i rewatched that ep. it was wild. tos did it better tho))

1x05 - the enemy within

things i remembered:

unicorn dog :)

evil kirk and poor little meow meow kirk

"I'M CAPTAIN KIRK!!!"

things not remembered:

dog dies :(

evil kirk's killer eyeliner

additional thoughts: say what you will about shatner / his acting but this ep is Peak shatner performance and a lot of fun to watch. he put his whole pussy into it, as the kids say these days

1x06 - mudd's women

things remembered:

could not forget harry mudd if i tried

the women are color coded like the powerpuff girls lol

they're also like, on some kind of drug that keeps them looking young or something

cool costumes tho

i don't have much to say about this one lol, harry's a fun character but the rest of the ep wasn't super interesting to me. did finally learn how to pronounce "ophiuchus" tho so i'll thank it for that

1x07 - what are little girls made of

things remembered:

is this the penis rock episode (it is)

uhhh i think kirk gets put into some kind of spinny machine that makes androids (he does)

more cool costumes (debatable)

things i find funny:

the number of planets we've encountered so far that are populated by like. 2-4 people

the way ruk (the big guy) just picks up and throws kirk like he weighs nothing

so much buildup with kirk and the penis rock and he doesn't even get to hit ruk over the head with it smh

also not a funny moment but i liked the way kirk was able to get a message to spock thru the android kirk, v clever

wait i just realized bones wasn't in this ep either. deducting 1/4 of a star from my mental rating bc i missed him (but apparently not that much)

1x08 - miri

remembered:

planet of children (bc everyone else died of terminal puberty)

"no blah blah blah!"

bones tests his newly discovered, untested cure on himself, in true mad scientist fashion (also spones moment <3)

saw this ep on a "what's your fave 'bad' episode" poll here recently and i can't remember if i thought it was good or bad when i first watched it lol

forgot:

another earth?? there's just a second, identical earth floating around out there?? and (of course) they don't mention it at all for the rest of the episode

300 year old children

oh these kids are so much more annoying than i remembered, however i may just be biased bc i don't like kids shfkshfk

1x09 - dagger of the mind

remember:

absolutely nothing! oh boy!

thoughts:

wow this ep is fucked up!

okay actually i don't think i've seen this one at all before?

usually there'll be moments that jog my memory but the only thing even slightly familiar to me was kirk going "helen don't go!" while in the neutralizer chair, but i could've just seen a clip/gif of it before

i remember skipping episodes in season 1 (i was impatient and wanted to get to city on the edge of forever) but i thought i'd at least made it to halfway thru the season before skipping any

anyway did i mention this ep is fucked up? (star trek really does love to drop an absolutely haunting 50 minutes of television on you and then never address it again, i understand this now. roll credits!)

1x10 - the corbomite maneuver

remember:

uhh

there's a thing out there

it's in the way

preventing them from boldly going, even

looks like an old windows screensaver

i might've skipped this ep too now that i think about it

thoughts:

cute mckirk moment in sickbay :3

i love that this cube has its own theme music whenever its on screen

oh shit it's the sequel to cube: orb

jesus christ that's a big orb

man they really said "okay we've got 3 music tracks and we're gonna get our money's worth out of them"

i gotta say this ep slaps tbh—WAIT HE'S A BABY???

LITTLE BABY MAN

LMAOOOOO

honestly great episode tho i'll stand by that

[kusagrasskusa]

Light X Detective! Reader - "I am Kira"

Summery- Y/N is a teenager given the honor of working for the task force and is with the few who agreed to work in the Kira case. Both while discussing L and on her way to go to the hotel to meet L, she bumps into Light. They get along and have a two minute conversation before she's pulled away by Aizawa. Her biggest flaw is her incapability to shut up, so she sorta explains how she (rather than Pember's fiance) believes Kira can in many ways...

Sorry for the "read more" being so high up lol. When I look through hashtags, I hate it when there's an entire story I already read to scroll past before I can see new ones :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I just don't understand," Y/N huffed as she pushed her hair behind her ear. She clinched the papers in her hand and furrowed her eyebrows together while rereading all the reports that were concluded to be caused by Kira. She sat in a cold room, in a chair that wouldn't warm up, with a bunch of officers who were equally as ignorant and annoyingly loud as the next. A lot of them distrust L as well, creating an unwanted tension that bothers everyone.

"Excuse me, sir," called a brunette boy to another brunette. Okay, maybe not everyone is annoying and ignorant; Matsuda and the Cheif were alright. Y/N smiled to herself as she looked at the two congregating. It's nice to see these two making the atmosphere brighter, she thought. There's been a lot of stress since no one can even began to image how Kira is even existing right now. Whether it's a single person or a group, how can they kill someone from anywhere? Alchemy isn't even real, so how?

And before she knew it, two hours of nothing went by. That is, until, three officers went up to the Cheif and set stuff down on the table. "Sir, we're resigning from the Kira investigation."

The cheif stood up, wide eyed, "why!"

"Because we value our lives! Kira has made it clear that he'll stop whoever gets in his way! We have a family at home and we aren't going to give it up!" One explained, taking deep breaths. The Cheif was silent for a moment before sighing, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Take your badges. I completely understand your decision." The cheif stood up, looking around the room. "I want everyone who wants to leave the Kira investigation to stand up. You won't be fired but rather transfered to another case." And just like that, nearly every single person in the case stood up, looking around each other disappointly. Y/N looked around her, glaring at the men around her. Wow, she thought, and I was called weak for being a "little girl."

As people made their decisions on whether to leave, or stay, or whatever, Y/N simply stacked her papers and cleaned her desk. The one she shared her desk had left, so she had a lot more space to put her paperwork. To be honest she didn't really like him all that much; it's random but that man would make the most jokes about Y/N's age and gender. She was the only female and being surrounded by a bunch of guys called for many conversations focusing on how she would interact with people, as if her gender is a defining quality to ever conversation.

But thank God that's over with. As Y/N looked around the room, her eyes widened as her eyebrows furrowed. "What? Like everyone left!" She called out, counting the people left. Masuta chuckled from across the room and she received a disapproving glance from Aizawa. Well, thank God these two stayed. She would be so alone with someone to joke with and another to keep an eye on her.

Aizawa is almost like an older brother/father figure of sorts, which is hella comforting. Matsuda and Y/N have never met before their job, not even happened to lassby each other at any point in their life, yet as soon as they saw each other, they knew each other very well. Immediately they kicked it off and eventually he found a way to convince the cheif that she's worthy of being here with him. He may have even brought up Light to make the cheif feel more personalized. It worked somehow.

The few remaining in the office stood up to acknowledge each other better. And when L finally spoke up from the computerin the back of the room, it was time for the debate on whether we trust him or not. Y/N, the Cheif, Matsuda, and Ukita seem to trust L a lot. Aizawa and Ide seem distrustful, and Mogi is neutral. When L released them to go discuss their views on him, everyone was eager to go.

On the way outside, a smile hung on Y/N's features as she walked alongside Matsuda. He didn't exactly share her energy as he rather just stared at the ground with a look of questioning. "This is a good thing y'know? It finally means we have the chance of a lifetime: to meet L. He would know how to keep us safe so we would never end up like the FBI agents!" Y/N whispered to him, making a small look of relief cross his features. He smiled at her and nodded.

Just a little into the conversation, the group had already began to trust L at least a little bit more. A few minutes later, L was given them directions on how to find him. Like hell I will write this all out, so just know that this happened the same way it did in the anime :). Y/N smiled widely, gripping Matsuda's sleeve and giggling quietly to herself. "This is amazing! We get to finally meet the L!"

"Calm down, L/N-san," Aizawa scolded, sending her a disapproving look. Y/N giggled at his stern face, shaking her head. She leaned on Matsuda's shoulder.

"Come on, 'Zawa! You're not excited? Not everyone gets to do this, y'know," she replied. Chief Yagami sighed and rolled his eyes at her childish behavior.

~~~

Y/N walked the dark streets with Aizawa by her side. She's humming to herself before breaking into a light sing, "hirogaru yami no naka-"

"Do you ever be quiet?" Aizawa asked. Y/N shook her heard before continuing to sing. But this time, she spread her arms out and moved more, dancing to the rhythm of the song. "Stop it, you child! You're gonna draw attention to us!"

"No I won't~ After all, it's the middle of the night," she replied as she pointed around the empty streets with the exception of 3 pass-bys. "No one is gonna care about a stupid little schoolgirl with her "dad" walking around when their tired and want to go home." Oh, in order to keep up a lie that Y/N is related to Aizawa, they found it easier for her to dress in a schoolgirl outfit. After all,, it's a Wednesday so people would think she would have to go to school, meaning she was young enoigh to be his daughter. "It's not like I'm gonna run into someone, eit—" Pffb!

Y/N fell onto the ground and landed in on the pavement. She hit her head on a metal door when she was walking and somehow didn't see it; well, maybe that's because someone opened the door. "Sorry! I didn't see you there," called a soft, masculine voice. He extended his hand towards the girl who was rubbing the mark on her forehead. She looked up at him either an apologetic look as she took his hand and he pulled her to her feet.

"No, I apologize. I, um, wasn't looking," she responded. Her face was pink with embarrassment so she kept her head low. After all, how does one recover from embarrassing themselves in front of someone so damn attractive?

"Look what you did; I told you this would happen. I'm sorry, sir, for you— Light?" Aizawa asked with a questioning look on his features. The brunette boy smiled at Aizawa, waving.

"It's me, haha. Sorry, I'm not very good with faces. What's your name?" He kindly asked. Y/N looked up at him and admired his features. He looked so calm and collected that it was admiring to her.

"Aizawa," is all he said before Light nodded in remembrance.

"Nice to see you again, sir. Is this your daughter? She looks lovely," Light complimented as he turned towards the short girl, whose face remained as pink as before if not worse. She bit her bottom lip, looking up at him at waving.

"My name is Y/N, nice to meet to you Light," she responded with a bow of her head. Light bowed his head simultaneously with that calm smile never leaving his face. "Sorry again, haha. I'm sorta a clutz," she continued.

Light shook his head and scratched the back of his neck. "No need to be so worried, Miss Y/N. All's forgiven. Actually, I'm rather glad we did bump into each other like that. You're a sweet woman," he replied. Y/N chuckled nervously and felt his charisma hit her deep in the soul.

"I hate to break up you and your boyfriend," Aizawa stepped in. "But we have to get going. It was nice seeing you Light." Light nodded in understanding and YN posted her lip, though also understanding. She looked back at Light, smiling.

"Well, I hope to see you again, Light. Bye for now," she said her goodbyes as Light did the same to her before hey parted ways. "He's cute," she simply stated as Aizawa rolled his eyes.

"You teenagers and your weird romances..."

~~~

Y/N laid there; her books spread out on a table and her head in her arms, breathing softly as she stayed asleep. She was only allowed to work 4 days a week with the task force and this would be one of those days where she had to study hella hard since she wouldn't be able to every Monday and Tuesday. She's in a few advanced classes and they've been getting harder now that she can't focus all her attention on her classes. But damn, she was so tired today! But even so, a simple poke on the back woke her up.

"Excuse me ma'am, are you alright?" A soft voice asked. She stirred around before looking over at the owner of that voice, furrowing her eyebrows together. "Y/N?"

"Light?" Y/N asked, her face turning red in embaressment. "Oh! I'm sorry, were you going to sit here?" She asked eagerly as she gathered her things and put them in together as fast as possible.

"Oh no! I was just checking to see if you were okay, so please do whatever," Light responded. Y/N continued to blush as she mumbled an oh before setting her things back down.

"Sorry, haha... I sometimes get sorta caught up in my studies," she admitted, earning a chuckle from Light.

"No worries. I'd be glad to help if needed. What grade are you in?" Light asked as he set his coffee down on the table, sitting down besides her.

"Senior year. 18 and still can't grow up," she added a self depreciating comment as she rubbed her tired eyes and yawned. Light shook his head, brushing his hand in the air to singal "it's okay".

"No need to be so harsh on yourself. After all, everyone learns in a different way and perhaps the way you're teaching yourself isn't the right way. Instead of reading equations and writing down answers, let's try drawing out pictures of those equations and adding references." Light took the pencil from her side and and began to draw and write put several equations and problems. Needless to say, in about an hour, Y/N had understood every single thing she had worked on.

"You're doing great," Light complimented as he looked over Y/N's paper. Y/N giggled nervously, a Light blush coming to her cheeks.

"Thanks, with your help though," she replied. Light shook his head and handed back the paper.

"Not at all. I just showed you a new technique and told you what you got wrong. It was all you." Y/N thanked him once more before taking a sip of her coffee. It was maybe 9am by now and perhaps she should get going.

"It's getting a bit late. I need to go home soon," she spoke sadly. Light nodded, standing up from the table while Y/N collected her things. "Thanks again, by the way. Especially for staying with me for, like, an hour. That must be hard, heh heh."

Light chuckled, shaking his head. "You need to belive in yourself a little more, y'know. However, anyways, I suppose we should get going now. It was nice seeing you again, Y/N. I look forward to our next encounter." They walked each other out the door before finally saying their last goodbye and parting ways.

~~~

In no time, Light was part of the police task force as well. Side by side Y/N, who graduated with him, someone who he had got close to since their first visit in the cafe. Hell, this far into each other's company and how close they must be true to work, some may even say there's love. Light was that tall, sweet, intelligent, caring boy who never breaks in situations. Y/N was that kind, self-deprecating, cheerful but can be serious, smart, and thorough girl who looks as dumb as a rock. They're very similar in some places and different in others, which is the perfect mix.

"To be honest," Y/N sighed. "I'm really starting to doubt L. He focuses on you way too much, and we really don't have time for that. People are being killed everyday and nothing's being done to stop it." Light nodded, sighing as well. They sat on the top stairs of the roof of the headquarters. "And Kira's supporters give me mixed feelings as well. I understand that what Kira is doing seems righteous, I truly do. They say how these people were never the hero so why should they live? They should live because they shouldn't have to be heroes."

Y/N couldn't help but vent her feelings. After all, a tragic incident had happened to he recently so she couldn't help it. Light picked up on her way more serious attitude towards the investigation and asked what's pushing her so hard. After a little persuasion, he got her to talk about it in a private place. The whole time, she was trying her best to hold in tears when she spoke. "It's bothering me that these supporters think their morally right for thinking the way they do... My uncle, he was killed by Kira last week. And these supporters, they laugh and taunt him because hehe made a mistake when he was young," Y/N hissed, her tears threatening to fall.

"My uncle didn't mean to do it! He was friends with an officer who came over to his house for a party! They got drunk and my uncle wanted to scare awake his friend using a gun he thought was unloaded. He got to watch his best friend's head explode all over his fucking house, all because of a stupid mistake? I was 5 years old, going to the prison every week to him for the little amount of time I could. The officers who would search the visitors knew me; she knew me and who I was going to see, a kindergartener who was scared and hurt by the loss of her uncle. Due to the shooting being accidental, he had less time to serve. And that day, that day where he'd be free, Kira did it. It's fucking disgusting."

Light listened with a frown on his face, patting her back and she hugged her knees and began to cry. It's a shame, really. He sat out there with her for maybe two more minutes before she calmed down.

"I'm so sorry for your loss, Y/N. I had no idea," Light spoke sadly, frowning. Y/N shook her head a smile forming on her face. It was clearly force and unhappy, but at least it made Y/N cry less.

"No, no, don't be. I kinda should've expected this. My uncle was a great, funny guy and I wish the world knew that. But anyway," Y/N wiped her tears as she stood up. She extended a hand for Light to take, which he did with a soft smile on his features, and pulled him up. A soft blush hit she cheeks when a

[lifblogs]

Fandom: Supernatural Rating: T Pairing: Destiel Word Count: 4832 Summary: Dean is a contestant on the dance show 5678, and this year he has to be paired up with a partner until either one of them gets kicked off. Dean's partner is Castiel, the hot ballroom dancer with the stick up his ass. WARNINGS: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Undiagnosed Eating Disorder, Homophobic Slur

read on ao3

5678. Dean had watched every season of the show, and after years of training in contemporary he’d made it through the auditions, made it through the rounds of disqualifiers, and now he was at the live show. He was living the dream, even if he was working himself to death every week trying to make that dream come true. For this season partners wouldn’t be switched every week to give him a range of dancers to test his mettle with. Nope, instead the network had decided it’d be more interesting for everyone to be paired off, and to gain “diversity points” they decided not all of the couples would be the typical male and female. Dean was kind of bummed. Some of the girls, mostly the ballroom girls, like Anna, and especially Jo, were super hot, and their bodies could move, but he’d been paired up with Castiel, the boy from some small town in the Midwest whose crazy religious parents decided his name needed to sound angelic. He looked like an angel. Smooth skin, blue, blue eyes, like crystals reflected in the light of the sun, dark hair that was always perfectly messy. Castiel was also a ballroom dancer, and he didn’t seem happy to be assigned Dean. He made this obvious because aside from just being a couple on the show, they were roommates. Castiel decided to always get in Dean’s personal space, to stare at him even when he asked him to stop, to give him weird looks when Dean made pop culture references, and he turned him down whenever he asked him to join him for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. And it wasn’t like he was asking him on a date. He just didn’t want to eat alone.

Castiel started spending more time with Zach, and he adopted a rather gruff demeanor, correcting Dean on his dancing, putting him in his place. Yeah, Castiel was the better dancer—he’d had a few extra years of training. But so what? Dean could pick things up fast, which was what got him to the live shows to begin with.

But Castiel was good-looking, and the way he could move was something Dean had only dreamed about. He told stories with his body, painted pictures that transcended reality, and sometimes, just for a few mere moments, during their rehearsals, Dean would lose himself, forget the steps, and just move with him, be with him, and those were the moments where they were the best. Their choreographers noticed it, told them to work on that intimacy. Dean blushed when they brought it up, not sure what that meant. Friendship? Or something more?

They’d finished up for the day, so, Castiel rolled up his sweaty shirt and stuffed it into his bag, pulled on a new one, and hardly gave Dean a look before leaving the studio. Dean shrugged at the choreographers, stuffed his feet into his shoes, and hurried out after him.

“Hey, Cas, that was great!” Dean called to him, speaking over the noise of the crowded city street they found themselves on.

“You need to work on the hits,” Castiel responded gruffly, completely ignoring his compliment.

“What?” Dean asked, jogging a little to catch up, and avoiding people as he did so. “I got too much energy for you, my angel?” he joked.

“Not enough energy.”

“Dude, this isn’t hip-hop. It’s ballroom. I think I’ll be fine.”

“Yes, and ballroom isn’t contemporary. We don’t float around like a bunch of fairy princesses.”

Dean tried to ignore his deprecating comments, and laughed slyly, thinking of the way Castiel could move his hips.

“Oh, buddy, I know.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He shot him a disgruntled look.

Fuck, he looked good like that. Hair mussed, cheeks red, sweaty from a good few hours of creative athleticism. The bored part of Dean’s mind thought of other creative and athletic things they could be doing with their bodies.

It was a stereotype that a lot of dancers got down and dirty when they weren’t on the dance floor, which wasn’t true. Sure, he’d had a lot of girlfriends, and some boyfriends, but other dancers he’d known had gotten almost nothing. Like, Benny for instance. One girlfriend, and he’d only been with Dean a couple times.

“Oh, you know, just that… You know, forget it, never mind. Not important. So, you want to grab some dinner, listen to the song a little more?”

“Dean, that song is stuck in my head. I’ll be lucky if it leaves me after I die.”

“Okay, fair.”

“But dinner, come on. You, me, some burgers, a milkshake.”

“A milkshake?”

“Yeah, two straws?” he joked, wondering if Castiel would pick up on the fact that he was teasing him. “Choreographer said we gotta work on our intimacy.

“And I suppose you think that means we get in bed together,” Castiel responded bluntly.

Dean’s cheeks went red, and he stopped short. Castiel kept walking. It wasn’t long before he lost sight of him in the crowd.

“Hey, wait up!” he called, catching up to him. “No, that’s not what I meant.”

“Oh?”

“Look, you don’t like me, I get that, but—”

Castiel suddenly whirled on him, and Dean had to stop before he bumped into him. His partner was squinting at him, which Dean had taken a few days to learn meant he was confused.

“What do you mean I don’t like you?”

“Y-y-you correct my dancing, you get in my space, you stare at me, you don’t want to get food with me. I get it, but we need to win this.”

“Dean, I do like you.”

Dean pulled his head back, surprised.

“What?”

Castiel grabbed his arm, something that shouldn’t have startled Dean after all the touching they’d done during rehearsal, but it did.

“Come on.”

He walked them back to their room, hand on his arm, leading him the entire time, and Dean liked the way he was taking charge. It was nice to give in a bit. Though Dean was the taller of the two of them, if only by a couple inches, Castiel had been assigned the leading parts so far in their dances, so he supposed this behavior was natural for him. Besides, Castiel was not small. He was actually wider than Dean, and Dean was a big man. He was relieved neither of them had had to do lifts with each other yet, but he was sure Castiel had the arms for it.

They got inside the hotel lobby, and he pulled him aside to a secluded corner, next to a potted plant that kind of looked like a mini palm tree. Was it a fichus? Dean whacked at one of the leaves.

“I do like you,” he told him.

“What? No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do.”

“I’m just an assignment to you.”

“You are. You were. Look, I like you. I just… I didn’t really have any friends back home, so I don’t know how to do this, and…” He lowered his head, cheeks reddening “Have you been on Twitter?” he continued.

“Yeah, a bit. Why?”

Castiel pulled his phone out of his bag, tapped on it a few times, and then turned it around to show the screen to Dean.

Dean studied it for a few seconds, scrolling, looking at the blue hashtag that seemed everywhere before asking, bewildered, “What the hell is Destiel?”

“It’s us, Dean. The fans, they… They ship us.”

“Wait, you know what shipping is?” Dean asked, breaking out into a smile when he realized Castiel had used a pop culture term.

His partner rolled his eyes.

“Don’t look so surprised. I had to look it up. It… It looked like it had to do with me, so I wondered, and I spent last night doing, uh, research? The fans, they want us together.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“So… So that makes things awkward, right?”

“We can be friends though?”

Dean looked at the gorgeous young man in front of him, the desperation in his eyes that he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen before, the kindness. Where had all this come from? Had it been there and Dean had been so wrapped up in himself, in winning, that he just hadn’t seen it before?

“Cas, is this real? You’re not just using me to win?”

“No, Dean. If I’m going to win, it’s because I’m the best dancer, not because I’m manipulative.”

“I don’t know, I feel like you could be pretty manipulative, I mean, with that hair, those eyes…”

“Dean.”

“Hmm?”

“Can we just be friends?”

“Friends, yeah,” he agreed, blushing once more when he realized what he’d been saying out loud. He hoped he could just lie that his cheeks were just flushed from their workout.

“So what is with you?” Dean asked as they rode the elevator up to their room. “You’re so in the moment, so tough. It’s hard to get through that.”

Castiel shrugged. “My dad was away a lot growing up, I didn’t have my mom.”

“Oh, did she leave?”

“I don’t know what happened to her. My dad never talked about her the times he was around. So I was raised by my big brothers, Michael, Luke, and Gabriel.”

Dean grinned at that. “More Biblical names?”

“Luke liked to tell me Dad was part of a cult,” he explained.

The elevator dinged, coming to a slow halt, and then the doors slid open. Dean and Castiel bumped shoulders trying to get out at the same time, but Castiel, still true to his gruff demeanor, pushed ahead and got out first, leaving Dean somewhat befuddled. Maybe Cas hadn’t noticed he’d acted in such a way. Dean tried to not let it bother him, and was instead trying to focus on the fact that this guy was finally opening up to him somewhat.

And he was definitely going to ignore the fact that he didn’t want to open up to him.

No need to tell him about all the nights his dad came home drunk, yelling at him, or the times his dad’s friends used him to put out their cigarettes, or the times his dad called him a faggot for being a dancer. Called Sam that too, even though Sammy wanted to be a lawyer. He hadn’t done as much to him though, especially since Dean had told Sam to keep things to himself to avoid getting hurt, and Sam had listened to him. He especially wasn’t going to tell him about the fire that killed their mom, and burned down their house, and left them moving from place to place, always being the new kids, never staying for too long. And then there were the times his dad would just up and leave, abandon him and his brother, sometimes without money or food, leaving Dean to do what he had to to take care of Sammy.

Dad never told Dean where he went, but he came back angry and drunk, and then they’d move again, so he suspected he’d gotten into trouble with the cops, or maybe some married woman. Sometimes he wondered if he had a sibling or two he didn’t know about.

“Was he?” Dean asked, realizing he hadn’t said anything about the whole “cult” comment.

Castiel shrugged.

“He was never around long enough for me to ask him. He’d kind of just drop in, tell us what to do, make sure we all knew Luke was his favorite, and then leave. That’s just how it was.”

“You have any guardians?”

“No. Michael was old enough by the time dad left. He hates Luke. Luke hates him too. Sometimes I swear those two are gonna kill each other.”

Castiel swiped his card in the lock, the light shone green, and he opened the door to their room. The nice thing about their room was that it was much bigger than an ordinary hotel room. They had plenty of space to move around, a slightly bigger TV, a microwave, a fridge, a coffee machine, a minibar, a table with two chairs, a stuffed chair and a lamp in the corner, and a window with a nice view over the city. The bathroom was pretty nice too. Dean enjoyed the water pressure in the shower. There was also a big dresser between the two beds, and a dresser that the TV was on. The beds were almost too soft for Dean to get used to.

“You’re joking,” Dean said, hoping he was right.

“Sure.”

His partner didn’t sound too convinced.

“First shower?” Castiel called, drawing an end to their conversation.

It was a question, but he always did this, so Dean just nodded, and let him have it.

He sunk down onto his bed, not caring that he was sweaty—besides, he figured he might have to be up all night getting those hits right. Dean did okay with their other song, which was a jazz routine, and Cas did too. That one wasn’t so bad. It was a story about two dudes, two roommates who wanted to get takeout but couldn’t agree on where to order from, and the props were numerous amounts of food menus that would get all over the stage by the end of the song. There was also a fake phone involved, with a power cord, and a little bit of tying up, with Dean being the one to get tied up. Go figure. Cas, always the one in charge. It made Dean want to slap him sometimes.

But the way he grew up. It sounded hard.

Maybe they weren’t so different.

~~~

“I’ll go.”

“Excuse me?”

Dean had just gotten out of the shower and was in a pair of shorts. It was hot outside given that the beginning of the live show wasn’t that long after summer break started up, and for some reason Castiel had steamed up the bathroom before Dean had gone in. He didn’t really feel like putting a shirt on at the moment, just wanted to lounge around until he cooled off. Castiel was sitting at the table, with his phone out, writing what looked like notes on the little pad of paper provided by the hotel.

“To dinner. I’ll get dinner with you.”

“As friends?”

“As friends.”

Dean sat down and ran a hand through his still-wet hair. “So uh… what ya thinking? Burgers?”

“No, I cut red meat out of my diet.”

“Pizza?”

“Too many carbs, and you can get bloated from dairy.”

Dean sighed, sitting back in his chair. “Come on, do you ever have fun?”

“I’m just trying to stay fit.”

Dean gestured down at his body. “Look at me, I’m fine, and I eat what I want.”

Castiel scrolled through his phone, frowned at what he found there, and then his lips turned down in a little pout. He placed it down on the table.

“Burgers?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Dude, you serious?”

Castiel rubbed at the table with one finger, and Dean couldn’t help but notice how beautiful his hands were. Well, he’d noticed before. He’d happened to watch Castiel’s audition over and over again, watched the strong hands that moved his partner Hanna, lifted her in the air, twirled her around, pulled her close, pushed her away, told her where to go.

Hanna hadn’t made it, and Dean could see why—her lines weren’t precise enough—but Cas? Wow.

“They’re kind of my favorite. It’s why I cut them out.”

“Oh, dude, now we have to go!”

“Great, grab a shirt.”

“Nah, I was thinking I should go out like this. The ladies love it.”

“But I won’t.”

Dean gave Castiel a knowing look, just to tease, not sure how serious he was being about this. “Come on, what’s not to love about this?”

“Dean.”

“What?”

“Shirt. Now.”

“Fine, but when we get to contemporary, your hands are gonna be all over this.”

Castiel frowned at him, but it wasn’t out of anger. His eyes were squinting in the way he did when he was confused, head tilting. It was… cute.

“Are you trying to seduce me?”

“If I would my bed would be a mess right now.”

A strange noise left Castiel, maybe a growl, and he covered it up by clearing his throat. In a few seconds Dean was nearly one-hundred percent sure he’d imagined it. Nearly.

~~~

Dinner with Castiel was… interesting. That was one way to put it. He ate a lot. Dean did too, of course. He always did, which he chalked up to the fact that he was a big dude who spent most of the day working out. It was made worse by the fact that they didn’t talk, both of them looking at their phones. Dean couldn’t help himself and was looking through that tag on Twitter that Castiel had shown him earlier. It was… somewhat terrible.

He placed his phone in his pocket, trying to ignore it, but he was starting to realize something.

“So what you said earlier, about me not getting the hits,” Dean began, “I was thinking of heading down to the studio to work on ‘em tonight.”

“You know you need me for that.”

Dean shrugged. “Figured I’d use a broom.”

“That only works in movies.”

“What? It was gonna be a sexy broom.”

Castiel wiped his mouth on his napkin, and placed it down with a sigh.

“Do you want my help?”

Now Dean was interested in his French fries, and he stuffed a few in his mouth.

He mumbled a response, not sure how he was supposed to explain to his partner that beneath all his joking he was actually nervous about Castiel being better with this dance than him, “No’ rea’y.”

“Dean, you’re not a ballroom dancer.”

“And?”

“And, do you want to get voted off?”

“Hmm, let me see…” Dean began, taking out his phone again. He opened up Twitter once more, and searched for the hashtag he was looking for. What he found was just as overwhelming as it had been a minute ago, some of it embarrassing, some of it cute, some of it a little too much, and some people needed to get banned from Twitter. “‘At 5678, OMG, Dean and Cass are the cutest! Hashtag Destiel, hashtag season fifteen winners,’” Dean read. “Ha, she spelled your name like ass.”

“Let me see that.”

Castiel grabbed the phone from him, and Dean tried to reach for it, but his partner had already drawn it back. He was hurriedly reading, scrolling with his thumb.

“’Castiel needs to bone Dean, hashtag Destiel’? ‘Cas and Dean equals hashtag Destiel’. ‘Hashtag Destiel for season fifteen winners’ ‘Hashtag Destiel…’ ‘Hashtag Destiel…’ ‘Hashtag Destiel…’ ‘Hashtag season fifteen winners. They do know there can only be one winner, right?”

Dean took his phone back, mouthed, thank you, rather pointedly, and scrolled to one of the Tweets he’d seen earlier, and then showed it to Cas.

He read: “’Hashtag Destiel, pull a hashtag Katniss and Peeta, hashtag Season fifteen winners.’ How would that even work?” he asked.

Dean shrugged, turning his phone around.

“Point is, they want us to go all Hunger Games, so I don’t think I’m getting voted off anytime soon.”

“But we’ve literally just started the show,” Castiel pointed out.

“I don’t know, Cas, people are crazy.”

To Dean’s surprise a small smile alit Cas’ face.

“What? What is it?”

“On Twitter,” he began to explain, “when they call me Cas I hate it, but when you say it… I really like it.”

For the first time in awhile, Dean had no response to that, and he lowered his face to try and hide his blush, especially since he was sure he could feel Castiel’s inquisitive eyes on him.

“Dean, are you sure you don’t want help tonight?”

“I just… when I joined I told myself I could do it all on my own, you know? And now I’m finding out that that ain’t so easy. Hell, you’re not so easy.” Castiel’s eyes were wide when Dean looked up, maybe slightly scandalized, and he realized his mistake. With a laugh that pushed aside some of his insecurities for the moment, he went on, “No, no, not like that. I’m keeping it PG here. For now.” He winked at the last words jokingly, before going on, “But seriously, I want to be your roommate, and your partner, and do the best I can, but… asking for help, especially from the guy who I thought didn’t like me at first—”

“I didn’t.”

“Great, yeah, that helps.”

“But I do now. Very much so.”

“Look, I’m just not used to asking for help. I always had to do everything on my, especially with looking out for my little brother. The partnering thing that we’re being asked to do, that’s new for me.”

Castiel’s hand reached out across the table, and for a moment Dean just stared dumbly at it. What, did he expect them to hold hands?

Cas cleared his throat after an awkward silence, and pulled his hand back.

“You didn’t tell me you had a brother.”

“Yeah, he’ll be starting his sophomore year in high school soon. Kid has barely hit his growth spurt yet. Growing up, I… I was the one really looking out for him. And I guess I really want to win so I could give him that prize money, make his life better.”

“That’s a beautiful reason for winning, Dean.”

“Eh, maybe the other one isn’t so beautiful. I also just want to prove to myself that I can do what I want to do, that I don’t have to be like…” He trailed off, realizing where this conversation was going.

“Like?” Castiel prompted.

Dean shook his head. “Never mind. Look, you done with your burger? Maybe… Maybe I could use a partner tonight.”

The warm smile that Cas gave him had affection Dean wasn’t used to blooming in his chest. “Of course, Dean.”

~~~

After paying they headed back to their room to grab their stuff, and then they went to the studio. A few of the other contestants were there, including Benny who was a jazz dancer, and his roommate Zach, a tap-dancer (Dean couldn’t roll his eyes hard enough at that). Zach’s partner Rowena, the ballerina was there as well. All of them were so focused that Dean and Cas didn’t bother saying hi. They just got their own room and set to work.

It was a bit easier to practice without the slight fear that cameras were going to show up at any minute to film some clips for the next episode. Though, they’d already had their time in front of the cameras of course, and then there were the interviews. If Dean relaxed enough he really began to feel like a celebrity. Though despite how fun it could be he still found it easy to stick to his purpose. Win for Sammy, and maybe win for himself along the way.

“Okay, okay…” Castiel called, grabbing Dean’s hips to stop him. “No, just… move with my hands. We can start slow.”

Focused, Dean did as Castiel said, letting his strong hands guide his hips left to right as they counted, and he paid attention to how far out he made them go.

“Good, so bring it up to the tempo, and keep it just like that.”

Feeling what he was supposed to be doing instead of just being told or shown really helped, and Dean found that he was soon really getting it.

They danced till they had the song beating in their blood, till they were sweating, and their bodies were sore.

While they sat on the floor, taking a water break, Dean pat Cas on the thigh, delighted and exuberant from their practice session so far. And it was good to have a partner who he knew had his back.

“You’re really good,” Castiel said. “I think what you want to do for your brother, it’s a really good thing, but you shouldn’t forget yourself.”

Dean slowly put his water bottle down, and found himself meeting his eyes, unable to tear his gaze away. Some kind of odd feeling was fluttering in his stomach, and he felt warm all over, and not just from the workout.

“This kind of show, you don’t just audition because you want money. You want to go through the experience, and really feel what it’s like to be a professional dancer, to do what you love. I can tell this is what you love. So don’t forget that.”

“Wow, Cas, uh… Wow.”

“What?”

“You can get pretty deep and sentimental, is all.”

“Perhaps one of us has to.”

“Or… or both of us could,” Dean ventured. Castiel was silent now, his full attention on Dean, not even drinking from his water bottle. “I do want this for myself. I do. And the reason is… well, my dad—he never went easy on me. Ever. I’m not sure he even likes me. It… it makes it difficult for me to like myself. I just want to show myself that I don’t have to be like him, that I can do something I enjoy and feel good about. I want to feel good about myself, Cas. But it’s hard, you know? It’s really, really hard. But when I dance, I forget all of that, even for those few minutes I’m up on stage.”

Castiel leaned his head back against the wall. “Sometimes I think I’m just doing this to make my dad proud, or to make myself useful to the family.”

“What was that you said about not forgetting yourself?”

Cas cracked a grin, and gave a gentle laugh, despite the pain etched onto his face.

“Wow, we’re both kind of a mess, aren’t we?”

Dean stood, and held out his hand, “I think that’s the best part.”

Castiel reached up for Dean, even that movement so graceful. When Dean pulled him up, Castiel surprised him by saying, “Hey, I’m a little sick of this dance for now. How about you show me some contemporary?”

“We really should work on ballroom.”

“We have the rest of the week. I know we’ll get it.”

Feeling excitement beginning to bloom in his chest, anticipation ready to burst, Dean went to get a song up. And he kept that feeling inside himself, willing it to spread to all his limbs. He would use that, use what he felt to put it into his body. With his body he could say things he never knew how to put into words.

A slight blush crept onto Dean’s face when the first line started, SYML singing, “Darling, please, take my hand.” With his hand held out, Castiel took it.

Castiel had done some training in contemporary, and he picked up the lesson easily. Before long, Dean was admiring Cas’ extensions even while he did his own work, and then they’d come together again, or push each other apart as the song dictated. They held each other, touched each other, all of Dean’s body understanding what all of Cas’ body was saying, and he was sure it was vice versa.

Time slowed, even as it rushed by in heated motions and achingly precise movements. The song became everything to Dean, and when Cas fumbled, he was right there to pull him close, or to come up from behind him, and hold out his arm or his leg for him, positioning it with the tempo.

When the next song began they still danced in Dean’s style, Cas clearly enjoying it, figuring things out as he went along. The next song was “Can’t Pretend” by Tom Odell, and when the chorus hit Dean was surprised to see Castiel positioned to beckon Dean into a controlled leap that Castiel would carry him through.

Dean wasn’t even nervous that they’d never done lifts before, even though it’d been something that had been itching at the back of his mind earlier in the day. Towards the end of the lift Cas’ arms shook, and he fumbled it, and Dean went down. He laughed, pulling Cas with him. Cas landed on top of him, his face so close to Dean’s as they laughed.

“Oh, feel our bodies grow / And our souls they play / Yeah, love, I hope you know / How much my heart depends / But I guess that’s love, I can’t pretend / I can’t pretend, oh…”

Feeling the music, the moment, laughing as he was trapped on the floor beneath Castiel, his body already starting to throb a bit from the fall, he kissed him.

And Cas kissed back.

“I guess that’s love, I can’t pretend / I can’t pretend, oh.”

For that moment, winning didn’t matter. Only what Dean wanted right here, and right now did, what Cas wanted, the music, the welcoming exhaustion in his muscles, the sweat glistening on their skin. For that moment, Dean was glad to have Cas as his partner. He wouldn’t have it any other way.

[the-last-teabender]

I don’t think a lot of y’all understand just how much the landscape of Internet news changed, like, overnight when BuzzFeed came on the scene in 2006.

[Early note: This is not a dunk on anyone who works/worked for BuzzFeed or other clickbait sites, or anyone who likes them. This is just where we were 15 years ago.]

I was in my twenties and working for a news website, and things were pretty standardized. Social media as a way for sites to expand their reach was largely just an experiment, and the concept of Twitter hashtags was still a year out.

So the entire point of sharing your content on social media was to get your already loyal readers to follow, put a link in an easily shareable format (like a tweet or Facebook post), and then hope they shared it to their friends. In essence, corporate social media then was like indie creative social media now*: all you had was your content, and the hope that someone out there would share it.

And then along come BuzzFeed and Upworthy and others like them, and if you’ve seen Singin’ in the Rain, it was like that. 

Like literally one day our manager comes in like “Hey have you seen what these guys are doing?” and we’re like “Haha yeah that’s unsustainable,” but then a month later we’re having lunch meetings trying to figure out how to make our own clickbait headlines (before we had a word for “clickbait”) because oh shit, it’s actually working.

I’m not saying clickbait and talking pictures are a straight-line comparison because they’re not - but the overnight industry overhaul for fear of being left in the dust? God, it was really really real.

Nowadays, we think of clickbait as being solely a question of content and presentation. But in its early days, it was also a question of quantity. What made early clickbait sites work wasn’t just the development of “She Did WHAT???” headlines and writing about Batman because everyone’s talking about Batman today. It was also the fact that they were putting out tons of stories like this per day. Because as long as one hit right and got seen, that was their ad revenue sorted for the day.

This whole system was a real monkey’s paw for the journalism scene. It solved the problem of reach, but then in return we got:

- The rise of contemporary shock journalism - The devaluing of writing as a skill, to the point that the concept of paying writers for their work is considered alien - Similarly, the establishment of content mills which are a dubious stopgap at best (and some of whom will allow companies to commission what is effectively propaganda for them on the cheap — a topic for another time — and which starving writers will take out of desperation) - The eventual establishment of the almighty Algorithm, which is as changeable and as influenceable as a horny Greek god, but by and large will revert to benefiting corporations over indie creators - The necessity of bending to clickbait tactics to be seen at all, regardless of what you make - The concept of “content” and “content creators” over writers, artists, presenters, personalities, etc.

And most of all, the deification of capital-C Content over all else, leading to the modern standard of anyone who wants their work to be seen having to Create Content in a variety of spaces, thus spreading themselves thinner while saturating medium after medium.

I don’t consider this to be like the domino meme. There were absolutely other influences within that same space, not the least of which is the organic growth and change of culture on the Internet. This may have been the eventual way of things; everything will become a crab and all that.

But I know in 2021 there are a lot of people who don’t know a clickbait-free world. And I feel like it’s just worth remembering that what the state of journalism is, and what “content creation is,” came with such a sudden sea change that I remember where I was when it started as clearly as I remember actual “where were you when” events.

* Random reminder to share artist posts, including shop links. Retweet, reblog, don’t reupload.

[purplerose244]

Irrational - Chapter 5: I love you too much

HELLOOOOOOO!!! 🤩🤩

Here comes the fifth day of @spacecampweek with what is probably my favorite fic of the bunch! Little song-fic but not really situation in a normal world AU, where Krel is about to confess his feelings in a special way! 💕💕💕

Enjoy!! 😙

Summary: Prom is here at last, a night of entertainment, of happiness, to celebrate changes and the future. What better moment for Krel to finally express feelings that have been hidden for so long? Time to put those guitar lessons to some use...

Read it on the AO3

It was happening. No more holding back, no more thinking rationally about his chances without concluding a thing. Tonight, everything was going to change.

Prom had turned out to be an absolute oxymoron to walk into, between his deep appreciation for parties and his unsettledness at dealing with other people of different temperatures – or ‘cool’, as they liked to call themselves. Everyone was dancing like crazy, that was very good, and everyone was talking loud about nonsense, that was very not good. Adding to the unpleasantries was the music playing onto the stage, something pulsing yet in a hardly dynamic way. If this was another night, he would have liked to teach these people what real music sounded like and propose himself as a DJ, to properly say goodbye to Arcadia Oaks High. Then again, in another delson he would have not worn these kind of flashy clothes – he had lost the chance to call this a normal night the moment he had exited his house wearing a bow.

There was a lot of movement in the middle of the room, and in the middle some familiar faces. He could spot Jim’s questionable moves while Claire was laughing loudly with red cheeks, he could see Toby doing some robot moves while Darci danced along him, he managed to notice Aja spinning all over, between a super smiling Steve and an extremely radiant Eli.

It looked like they were all having fun, so much fun. Krel wasn’t… not yet.

“Hey Clint.”

He almost snorted at the sudden voice.

“Mary, I know you know my name at this point.”

“Whatever Kurt, whatcha up to?” The queen of the bees appeared in front of him, all sparkly in her pink shock dress. “Hank got all handsy, Dean is being shy, and that cute guy from Arcadia Oaks Academy that snuck in is being difficult. I’m up for some juice and it looks like you’re up to something.” And the queen of gossip too as well. She grinned at him, clearly playful. “Could it be you’ll stop being a wuss, at last? That would be nice!” He didn’t deny it. for a second. Big mistake, her eyes immediately widened, like she got struck by absolute knowledge. “Don’t tell me-”

He covered her mouth, realizing midway there that there was no point, the music was so loud it silenced everything. Despite that, he couldn’t bring her to say it. Not yet.

“Perhaps… maybe.”

Mary’s eyes turned into stars. She quickly wiped his hands off her.

“O-M-G, finally, I’ve been waiting for this for so long! Ha, I knew you were going to be the one to do it, Darci owes me five dollars! So does Logan! Pff, why was everyone betting on the space dork anyway… hey, what’s wrong?” She was perceptive. It happened after knowing each other for a couple of years. “Cheer up Kai.”

He laughed again. His chest felt like it was exploding, but in a good way. Seklos and Gaylen, for how long he had postponed what he was about to do, blaming time, work and consequences? It was terrifying in a way that was almost pleasant. Maybe. Perhaps.

“I am fine.” He swallowed, because of course the moment he had scanned the entire party, he had noticed it right away. Or rather, he had noticed a lack of him. “He… he is not here though.”

“He’s probably still bummed that he got into that accounting college his grumpy dad wants him to go but still doesn’t know about the engineering one.” Krel was holding his breath about that one too. Seamus had promised to be roommates in that case. Was it going to be weird if tonight wasn’t going to turn out the way he wanted? Was he going to be awkward around him? “Alright, I can smell burning thoughts, hashtag stopbeinganerd! You’re telling me you’re going to do it and I wanna know how, where and when, and if you try to chicken out now, I swear I’m gonna smash your precious guitar!” She sure knew how to get him riled up.

For the first time since he had come to this decision, Krel smiled, thinking of the backstage, the phases he had prepared into his head. He looked up, shaking his head.

“I believe that would be counterproductive for my plan.”

Mary’s mouth popped open, and if that wasn’t satisfying.

“No.”

“Kleb yes, I am not holding back.”

“That’s gonna be the bomb but you better don’t swoon anyone else, you dang charmer! I have all boy dates tonight and I wanna keep them focused on me only!” She giggled, patting his shoulder. “Just go for it, okay? You’re cool, even when you’re being a nerd.” It was as good of an encouragement as he could get right now. “Just wait until your dorky prince charming arri- Oh this is too perfect.” She was smirking, so much her makeup was scrunching up a little.

Krel didn’t have to turn around to know. He did it anyway.

What a view. This prince really wasn’t above physical appearance as he had first thought when he had arrived in Arcadia, powered by his absolute intellect, rationality, and general annoyance towards social interactions with amoebas. It had taken him a while, a whole while, to accept that even someone like him could get this soft inside.

Give then right time, and the right person.

Seamus was radiant, with the black jacket and the blue tie, with the polished shoes and the pulled back hair. From the relaxed eyes the discussion with his dad must had ended without a punishment, and he was actually smiling. Everything, he was so absolutely everything it made Krel choke up.

Mary was arching an eyebrow, although she most likely know what was going on. The prince swallowed, almost choking again, trying to keep his composure as usual.

Failing.

“… and… and you are absolutely sure…?”

“What in the world, Ken, yes! Yes he is completely head over heels for you, yes if you confess you bet your perfect grades he’s gonna reciprocate, yes the moment he will hear what you’ve prepared for him he might as well take a ring out of his pocket and propose in the middle of the dance room!” He grabbed his shoulders, shaking him a little. “You two are the absolute worst! C-bomb has actual guts to ask Jimmy Jam out, Darci and her Tobypie went for it naturally, even Steve is an idiot sometimes but not at dating and Aj and Eli practically gravitate around him! But you!!” She grabbed his collar, her stellar eyes turning into black holes. “You two are pining messes that I’m absolutely done with! So, I swear, Krel Tarron, if you don’t get on that stage and finally confess, you won’t have to make plans for college because this will be your last dance. Ever.” She could had stopped the threat at his actual name. That alone would have done it. Mary gave him the ‘I’m watching you gesture’, before backing down into the crowd without getting her eyes off.

Krel swallowed, nodded, watching her disappear into the party. Despite the dread of being murdered in cold blood being quite intense and even impressive, it was quickly washed away, as soon as Seamus looked at his direction with those blue eyes of him. There it was, that urge, that need to impress him somehow. It was their thing, the fulcrum of their rivalry that hadn’t stopped, even after years. The need to make the other break their mask of pride and turn it into amazement.

Bold enough, the prince grinned, winking at him. The way the blonde gaped warmed his heart. Was that pink on his cheeks? The lights were too strong and colorful, it was hard to tell.

Was it important? Not really. It was now or never.

Making his way towards the stage was a challenge itself, luckily his dancing skills were not to be ignored and swirling around these random kids was pretty easy and entertaining. The band was playing a pretty energetic movement, there was a keyboard player going absolutely nuts and a drummer doing their best. There was definitely something that could had been done to improve the whole performance – perhaps a few remixes on a DJ board, just saying –, but they were really into it. It almost felt bad going up there and show his own abilities.

Then again, Krel didn’t care.

He had a mission. With that determination in mind he immediately went behind the curtains of the stage, finding familiar locks of blue hair monitoring the situation. Having Douxie as the responsible one was still unusual, even though the ripped off pants and the numerous studs all over his suit were more likely. It probably wasn’t enough for him, he was tapping his foot over and over.

Krel cleared his voice, the older one turned, turning the frown into a smile.

“Krel, how’re you liking the show?” He snorted.

“Fine…” He really couldn’t help himself, it was too easy. “Would be better with some metal rock in it.” The smile was gone. Krel snorted again.

“Really, you’re going to put salt on it like that? Zoe already gives me a hard time because I didn’t get the Ash Dispersal Pattern to play here, don’t you get in the way too!” He turned to the band with a frown, shaking it. “‘Your music might not be a good example for the students’, fuzzbuckets, how old do you think these kids are?? Besides, how is techno a better alternative? Those moppets, I swear…” He muttered something under his breath, a curse most likely, then he sighed. “Alright, I’m fine. Extremely salty, but nothing a drink can solve later. I’m guessing you’re here to ask me something?” Perceptive. All of his friends had to be with him.

“Something like that, yeah…” He breathed in and breathed out, he was absolutely going for it but it didn’t make any of this easier for him. “Alright, I need a favor?”

Douxie smirked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Oh yeah? You need a favor from this random guy who got nominated supervisor as cold comfort for not having his band play tonight? Little old me?” He snickered, shaking his head. “Should have thought before you came here to mock, shouldn’t ya?”

“Hisirdoux…”

“Nope, can’t let this one go, I’m out of patience tonight and I need to get at least one gratification. How about you apologize to me? I’ll even help, start with ‘You are the best guitarist I’ve ever known’ and… whoa, wait, what are you doing?” Was it a bluff? Krel was bowing already, but perhaps his brain was messed up tonight. “Dude, how are you actually doing it? What is this favor all about?” Oh. Right. He was the most prideful person on the planet. He had almost forgot.

Krel straightened up, shrugging a little. From the tone of the current song, it seemed that this band was almost done. He peaked from behind the curtain. Seamus was talking with Steve, giggling a little. The prince couldn’t help clenching his hand around the shirt over his chest. Ah, he wanted this, he wanted all of this.

He felt a familiar wave of warm. He turned back to the guitarist, and Douxie was gaping, blinking several times. It was probably clear.

“I want to make an exhibition.” His honey eyes widened.

“… yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“… alright then.” Douxie smiled, pointing at the backstage with his head. “Prepare yourself Lover Boy, I’m announcing you right after this.” If it wasn’t to preserve what was left of his pride, Krel would have hugged him. “Is it DJ Kleb time?”

Krel moved a few steps towards the back. He stopped.

“No,” He turned to the guitarist, smirking. “It is Krel time.”

 ***

 “Alright, give it up for ‘The Raise of the Titans’! Amazing performance you guys, can’t wait to properly see you on Wednesday!” Douxie always looked confident on stage, he was born to have the attention of a public. It was something he and Krel had in common. Right now though, there was only one look the prince wanted all for himself. “Hope you’re having a blast tonight! How’s prom going?” A cheer followed. “That’s great, because we have a special exhibition right now. A special song, for a special someone! Give it up for Krel Tarron!”

The wood under his feet made a sound after every step, it was drowned by the voiced in the crowd. It made him smile thinking how many people were going to be surprised by his presence, his appearance, and especially him appearing with a guitar instead of his beloved keyboard. There was a single stool in the middle of the place, with a microphone already adjusted for his high. He thought that really needed to thank Douxie after this, for everything, as he sat down with the instrument on his lap. He had accorded it while he was in the backstage, but out of habit he did it again, the sound reverberating into his mind. It was like a reality check, a call to the place, as he finally looked up to the public.

Aja looked close to crying, absolutely overjoyed. Mary was smirking so much her cheek looked like it was being pulled. Steve looked absolutely astonished. Toby was grinning impossibly wide. Eli had his glasses shining and a bit smile. Jim had amazed eyes over him. Claire looked ecstatic. Darci was giving him a thumbs up. Everyone was there, everyone.

And then there was him. Him, adorably confused and starstruck.

Krel grinned. I hope you are ready for this, you math blonde.

“This song is for a dear person to me. I have never been able to express my feelings properly before. I have never been particularly good at.” He let another note fill his silence, it made him smile again. “But I will not shy away from it, not anymore. I went through everything with you, high school, my problems, your problems, math and space and everything between,” There was no doubt, not anymore. “I want to go beyond now.”

His mind was peaceful, his body was burning. It felt like he had never been more alive before. His fingers knew what to do, that song was a part of him. He just took a deep breath, and let the music take over.

 I love you too much

To leave without you loving me back

I love you too much

Heaven’s my witness and this is a fact

I know I belong, when I sing this song

There’s love above love and it’s ours

‘cause I love you too much

 It used to be just him, his mind, and his sister. Them against the world, with a mother that wanted her to be proper, with a father that wanted him not to be him. Everything had turned out so badly at first without them, and so not badly after, to the point he had managed to make an actual life away from Cantaloupia. Then, the escape had become home. Then, it he had become the place where he had met the only guy that was ever going to make him feel.

It used to be just him, his mind, and his sister. Now it was him and his sister, friends and family, a home and the world, and so many feelings in between. This was the right place, this was the right time, this was the right guy.

It used to be just him, his mind, and his sister. Now he could hardly imagine himself without the blonde in the picture, the one that could cloud his mind and fill his heart.

 I live for your touch

I whisper your name night after night

I love you too much

There’s only one feeling and I know it’s right

I know I belong, when I sing this song

There’s love above love and it’s ours

‘cause I love you too much

 The two of them weren’t the easiest people to deal with, their lives weren’t the easiest lives to deal with. It had been because of a cruel game of destiny or a lucky shot from faith that they had found each other, Krel at Seamus’ door whenever he felt like he didn’t matter, and Seamus at Krel’s whenever he felt like exploding? Was it bad that in their worst some of their sweetest moments together were born? Was it bad that overwise they might had not become this much of friends?

They were living in a world that was cruel and unforgiving, with people even less likely to welcome them. Krel liked to think that by knowing each other, they had managed to overcome that obstacle, and meet also the people that were fine. That were okay.

They were okay. He was okay.

He had never forgotten that one moment of them, not once.

 Heaven knows your name I’ve been praying

To have you come here by my side

Without you a part of me is missing

Just to make you my own, I will fight

 The song was a tragically familiar one. During the worst of his pining, when he thought he was never going to be good enough for him, when he thought that he didn’t deserve to feel something this pure and breathtaking, this had always been the song. Shannon had taught him the first notes after she had gifted him the guitar after a curious sequence of events, and then Douxie had taken over teaching him all he had needed to know. It was all so familiar now he hardly had to think about how to move, where to put his fingers, if it was too strong or just okay. It was cheesy in a way he never thought he could possibly be, with feelings he never thought he could have.

Aja had always listened from her room, he knew she had even though she had never said it, because before going to sleep the same delson she had always come to hug him. Mary had always told him that playing a love song to cure his – stupid – pained heart seemed a little counterproductive. Maybe she was right. But even if everything was to end tonight, he didn’t care.

He liked love. He loved love. He loved Seamus.

 I know I belong

When I sing this song

There’s love above love and it’s ours

‘cause I love you too much

 Caught by the sudden burst into his chest Krel stood up, almost making his stool fall down. He didn’t care. Right there the crowd’s cheering came to his ears, and despite how much he wanted to scan the place and look for that familiar strawberry blonde mane in between, he forced himself not to. Not yet, not until he said everything, not until he was sure he had delivered everything he had inside. He shushed his mind and let the rest of his body sing.

 I love you too much!

I love you too much

Heaven’s my witness and this is a fact

You live in my soul, your heart is my goal

There’s love above love and it’s mine, ‘cause I love you

There’s love above love and it’s yours, ‘cause I love you

There’s love above love and it’s ours, if you love me…

… as much

 When the last note left his instrument, an urge to cry mixed to an absolute pride took over. He did it, he actually did it. In his mind the song was still echoing, beautifully in the open as it was always supposed to be played. He was drained and so, so happy.

Then, as his head finally allowed in something other than exhaustion, it finally hit him the amount of people that was watching, and how crazy there were going with that applause. It was reverberating all over, he was surprised he noticed it only now. Steve was holding onto Eli and Aja, every single one of them looked close to tears. Mary was shouting something to one of her current dates, pointing at the stage then back at her, probably something like “I know him, he’s my friend, he’s cool because I’m cool, good old Kevin”. Toby was jumping up and down, with Darci laughing and applauding. Jim and Claire were holding onto each other, clapping with fervor. It was good, everything was so good right now.

Finally, Krel allowed himself to look.

Right then, his hear broke.

He wasn’t there. Seamus wasn’t there anymore. No blue tie around, no lock of blonde hair, no red freckles in sight. There was no way this prince couldn’t find him, so…

He left. He didn’t stay for him. He didn’t.

“How about that, huh?? Krel Tarron, everyone!!” Suddenly Douxie was by his side, Krel didn’t look at him. It hurt. He thought it wasn’t going to matter, but it hurt. “He will be all over you for autographs and junk later, let him rest for a moment, and welcome the next exhibition of the night!” His arm was onto his shoulders. Krel didn’t move. He didn’t want to. Then he got a squeeze, and he looked up out of pure instinct. Douxie was still smirking, like his heart hadn’t just gotten smashed against the solid ground of the ballroom. He pointed to the exist and Krel, sighing, obeyed.

He crossed the next couple of performers, who patted his back telling him how good he had been. It didn’t feel like a proud moment anymore. It felt like a waste. The guitar was hanging onto him by the lace, luckily, he would have forgotten it on the stage overwise. Krel sighed, putting the instrument down as soon as he was behind the curtains. He could deal with this.

He didn’t want to, but he could. He just needed some time to-

His hold was callous and warm. The prince knew it so well he almost didn’t have to turn. He did. Seamus had his entire face flushed. He looked outstanding.

“Come with me.” His voice was low, almost fearful, and Krel could do nothing other than follow his lead. He was dragged along as they were staying as far away from the crowd as possible, going for the exit. If anyone had noticed them, Krel was sure Steve or Mary would have taken care of them. As soon as they were out of the room, it was silence. The school looked almost dormant like this, without lights around, the abandoned lockers circling the corridors.

It was going to be one of the last times, in this special place.

There was little time for that kind of nostalgia, as they didn’t walk for long anyway. Seamus seemed in a hurry, he was moving forward without a single word. It almost made the prince fear that he had gone too far and had made him mad. Some more uncharacteristic apologies brushed his lips, at least as a precaution, no matter how weird it was going to be.

They died into his throat as soon as he was pressed against the wall. The echo of the music was gone. There were only those impossible blue eyes getting closer and closer and-

Krel would have laughed. He would have laughed in any other occasion, because this guy was rough and prideful and used to be really bad at dealing with his anger issues. Yet he kissed with the outmost gentleness, like he was genuinely afraid of breaking him, like he was terrified that at any point something was going to wake them up from this dream. Krel wanted to hold onto this dream. He held onto him, hands reaching for his shoulders, then up into his hair. They were not fluffy at all. Again, he would have laughed if he wasn’t this overwhelmed by the fact that this was happening, that Seamus was kissing him and it was happening. The hold onto his mane must had woken up the blonde, as he moved forward with urge, breathing in and taking more.

It was marvelous. It was uncertain and clumsy and they were both really inexperienced at this, and it was marvelous. Slowly the timing was getting clearer for the both of them, because despite pride and their social skills they were instead really good at learning and understanding. The rhythm drowned them both, and it almost made Krel forget he had lungs. It got him there, the urge for air, and he let out almost a strangled noise when he got out of one last kiss.

Seamus was panting just as hard, if not harder, his pupils blown. Krel had never seen him like this, it was a whole new side. He wanted to know it. He really wanted this.

“Sea-”

“Shut it.” Another kiss that made him hum, it was sweeter than before. He almost forgot the words. When he tried to talk again Seamus promptly kissed him again. He completely forgot the words. “You said more than enough, now it’s my turn.” The blonde was smiling of that beautiful smile again. “I’m gonna make every single word count.” His hand went over his hair, caressing his brown locks like they were precious treasures to keep. The urge to cry came back.

Along with another desire, that made Krel come back to his senses and smirk.

Once again, rivalry.

“Aren’t you an overachiever?” Seamus hummed questioning, brushing their noses together. It was too good, the prince giggled. “There are exactly 212 words into my song.” It was too perfect. This wasn’t an out of the world experience, this was the natural consequence of their relationship. Seamus was holding him, and he really didn’t want to be anywhere else.

The blonde seemed taken back by his words, for almost a full second, only to laugh. He brought him even closer, breathing against his lips.

The world disappeared. Prom could wait.

“Better start counting then.” He lunged forward, a quick press closer to a caress. “One,” Another one, deeper but still quick, that made Krel naturally lean back. “Two…” This time it was proper, making him decide that he didn’t really need his mind right now. There was no issue, no invention in standby, no math problem to solve. He could allow himself this. “Three.” He could take every single part of him, as a reward in a way, as a present even more. Without a single remorse Krel laced his arms around his neck, deepening every following kiss.

They stopped counting after nine.

[hippohead]

postcode envy (8/24)

read it on ao3

It’s not that Kurt’s never had a sex dream about a coworker before.  

He has, and it was mortifying, but he’d managed to push it to the back of his mind and move on. He’s never had a sex dream the night before filming the scene that the dream was set in, though.

He’s barely looked Blaine in the eye all morning, embarrassed about something that the poor man isn’t even aware of. He’d contemplated just telling Blaine so they could laugh it off and make it mean nothing, but then he’d seen him coming out of his dressing room and the sight of him made him feel... prickly. Hot. On edge. And he swiftly tossed that idea out the window.  

He can never, ever tell him.  

And now they’re on set and it looks exactly how it looked last night in his head, except this time Blaine is going to pull a knife on him the way he’s supposed to. He’s not going to pull Kurt’s arms above his head, and Kurt’s not going to push him back onto that god-awful couch. They will stick to the script.

Kurt can’t stop thinking about how much he prefers his version, and it’s incredibly not ideal.  

“Hey, Kurt?”

He looks at Blaine vaguely but before he can answer, Curtis is moving into their space and lowering his voice.

“Okay, guys – this is a pretty big scene and we’re probably going to do a bunch of camera rehearsals, so I just want to make sure you both remember where we’re at in the journey and the history between the characters. Kurt,” and he turns to look at him, an intensity in his eyes that Kurt has come to know over the past two weeks of filming, “I need you play this so seriously that the comedy will come from Blaine, okay?”

Kurt nods. He knows that. They’ve been over it more than once, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s pretty sure he’s somehow sweating through three layers of costume - one of them leather - because his mind keeps providing him with flashes of what didn’t happen here last night. It just... really feels like it did.  

They do three rehearsals and each time, the stunt coordinator steps in and tweaks things – where to put their hands and how to make it look more realistic. Donna asks them to hold their positions so lighting can adjust, and of course it’s the one where Blaine has Kurt pushed into the wall. It feels like some sort of cosmic teasing.

“Everything alright?” Blaine murmurs so that only Kurt can hear.  

He nods, so annoyingly aware of how close they are to each other. He doesn’t trust himself to say anything, though, so he turns his head and tries to focus. By the time they start filming, Kurt has somehow managed to bury the dream down far enough that he feels like Marvin.  

Or, at least, he thought he had.  

“Cut!”  

Curtis sounds a little exasperated – it's the third time he’s called cut and neither Blaine nor Kurt knows what it is he’s wanting. He hasn’t really explained, just keeps asking them to take it from the top. This time, thankfully, he pulls his headphones off and makes his way over to them. Blaine is still crowding Kurt despite the fact that the scene has stopped and when he realises, he puts a step of space between them.  

“Okay,” Curtis says once he’s next to them, and it looks like he’s desperately trying to figure out how to say what he wants to diplomatically. He doesn’t really succeed: “I need it to look more like you’re trying to kill each other, and less like you want to rip each other's clothes off.”

Blaine pulls his brows together, and Kurt wants the floor to open up and swallow him whole. They both nod, entirely embarrassed, and they share a little look as Curtis walks away. It feels sort of charged, the look, but Kurt knows if he reads into it, he’ll only make it worse. He won’t be able to take on Curtis’ note, and so he breathes in a few times and clears his head. Buries the dream and buries Blaine even deeper.  

The person he sees in front of him is Donny, and he can’t stand him – he feels that prickly feeling he felt this morning but this time it has nothing to do with attraction. It’s about feeling so out-of-his-skin with hatred that his hand starts twitching for his fake gun even though they’re not up to that part in the scene yet. Blaine seems to have gotten to the right place too, and the energy on set feels dangerous.  

They don’t really talk to each other after they wrap the scene. Everything feels a bit too complicated right now, as if they need to untangle themselves from their characters before they can be them – Kurt and Blaine – again. It’s too heavy to wade through.  

He has a herbal tea in his dressing room and listens to some calming music, and when he heads to the studio reception area to get a ride back to his hotel, he feels a lot more like himself.  

“Hey. We did good today.”

Kurt turns and is shocked by how much relief he feels at seeing Blaine, not Donny. It’s almost as if he’s missed him, which should be ridiculous, but the feeling settles and it’s true. He misses Blaine when he has to spend twelve hours with Donny’s glares. He wonders if Blaine misses Kurt, or if the malice in Marvin doesn’t bother him.  

“Yeah, we did. I think the general public will believe that we want to murder each other.”

“Even if they also think we’re hopelessly in love,” Blaine adds on, but there’s none of the tease in it like there was last week. He’s just stating a fact, really, because the tabloids haven’t stopped reporting on it and he’s pretty sure there’s a hashtag on Twitter now, too.  

“Ready to go, Anderson?”

Kurt looks to the voice and the warmth in his body drains. It’s him; the exec. Kurt still doesn’t have a name. He feels his hands curl into fists involuntarily, but then Blaine is nodding at the man and saying goodbye to Kurt and starting to leave.

“Blaine,” he hisses, grabbing his arm to stop him from moving. “What are you doing? You can’t leave with him.”

There is something in Blaine’s eyes that Kurt has never seen there before: resignation. And then he shrugs, Kurt’s hand falling away with the movement, and he says with a conviction that contradicts the resignation, “It’s a business meeting, Kurt.”

He wants to chase after him, beg him not to go, tell him he has a terrible feeling about it. But there’s something about the way Blaine gets about this whole situation that stops him and reminds him that he doesn’t have any right to get involved. It’s Blaine’s life, and he has to trust that he knows what he’s doing.  

It doesn’t stop him from feeling a little ill at the sight of Blaine getting into a car with the man who had been looming over him two weeks ago, sex dream completely forgotten and replaced with a nervousness he doesn’t know if he’s allowed to be feeling.

[atlafan]

Take it Slow - Part Seventy-Three

a/n: okay this is my first shot at a harry:y/n fic, and it will be multiple parts. y/n had a bad experience with an ex over a year ago, and finally accepts her coworker and good friend Niall’s invitation to go on a blind date with his friend Harry.

Warnings: smut, and FLUFF SO MUCH FLUFF I SOBBED WHILE WRITING

Masterpost (all previous parts can be found in the masterpost)

You were stressed to the max, and to top it all off you had your period. Harry’s studio opening was just a couple of days away. He was stressing too, working late getting all these little last minute touches together. You were spending all your free time promoting the opening on social media, watching the analytics, responding to comments as they came in. It was like you were working two jobs, but it was all worth it to see him happy and put him at ease for a bit. The website you designed was immaculate. Harry was incredibly impressed with what you put together.

“Babe!” He calls for you from the bedroom. You and Buster come running in.

“What is it…holy shit! What happened in here?!”

Your bedroom was in complete shambles. Harry’a clothes were all over the place. His hair was a mess from tugging at it.

“I have no idea what to wear tomorrow, and I’m freaking out!”

“Oh, Harry.”

“I mean, I feel like a suit is like too fancy, cause like, the place is going to be really chill, but I don’t want to wear jeans, even the black ones, that’s like too chill for a party, and then there’s the shirts! I have silk shirts, button ups, polos-“

“Harry, Harry!” You put your hands on his shoulders. “Please, take a deep breath.” He looks at you and sighs. “We’ll find you something to wear.”

You go through the piles of shirts first. Pants would be easy enough to pair later.

“Do you want to be covered up, or unbuttoned?”

“Think I’d be more comfortable unbuttoned, you know, so everyone can see my necklaces, and the tattoos. I really wanna look like myself.”

“Okay.”

“But like…also cool.”

“Cool?”

“Yes! I want to cool, collected.”

“Harry…you could wear a paper sack and you’d still look cool.” He smirks at you and shakes his head. “Oh! How about this one?” You hold up a black button up with white polka dots on it. “This would look really nice.”

“You think so?”

“Sure! You could dress it up with a blazer if you want for when you first get there, and then take it off later.”

“Yeah, actually, I could see that, let me grab my black suit jacket.” Harry digs it out of the pile and puts them together. “What about pants?”

“I really think your good black jeans, like the really nice pair, would look fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah! I know you haven’t really been doing the skinny jean thing lately, but I think if you wear that, and your beige Chelsea boots, you’d have a whole ensemble going.”

“I don’t know what I would do without you.” He smiles with ease. “Thank you.”

“Of course. Stop worrying, it’s going to be great. So many people are excited to come celebrate you.”

“WhaT are you goin’ to wear?”

“Not sure yet. I was thinking of my yellow dress, you know the one with the short sleeves and the open back? Know how much you like yellow.” He wraps his arms around you.

“Can we have sex?”

“M’all bloody…” You whine. “Can you put all these clothes away?”

“On it.” Harry rushes around hanging all of his things back up, and putting other pieces back in his drawers. He turns to see you walk into the bathroom. “Shower?”

“Yeah, just give me a couple minutes to like…clean up.”

After about five minutes you call for Harry. He comes in, already naked, and gets under the water.

“All set, angel?” He asks, kissing on your neck.

“Mhm.”

“M’just so stressed, need to take my mind off things.” He starts kneading your breasts. “That okay?” You nod your head yes. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You wrap your arms around his neck. “Now fuck me.”

//

“Okay, great, You’re the best! Seriously, thanks again. We’ll see you guys soon.” You hang your phone up, and put it down on the sink counter. You put some red lipstick on and smooth out your dress. You were thankful it wasn’t a humid evening so you could wear your hair down. “Buster!” You yell as you walk out of the bedroom. He comes running to you. “Come on, we gotta go meet daddy before everyone arrives.”

You leash him up and get him down the stairs. Mariah and Isaac weren’t there yet. Harry was upstairs getting dressed in his office, He nearly spent the entire day making sure everything was perfect. You and Buster greet the waiters that had started to set up. You go upstairs and knock on his door.

“Babe, it’s us!”

He opens the door immediately and yanks you inside, closing and locking the door.

“Oh my god, you look stunning.” He smiles. “How do I look?” He turns around for you.

“Absolutely incredible.” Buster sniffs at his feet.

“Hey buddy.” He pets the top of his head. “I’m freakin’ out, Y/N, and I never freak out. Okay, I do, but not like this!”

“Harry.” You tug at his suit jacket. “Look at me. It’s going to be great. You have prints available for purchase, a ton of booklets for people to look through, and Isaac is going to be walking around with a tablet to book appointments with people. We have a geotag set up through snapchat and insta, and we have a hashtag ready to go. I’m going to be taking pictures and videos all night. Everyone here is here to su-“

He cups your cheeks in his hands and kisses you, smearing your lipstick. Your tongues mold together and you pull him closer to you. He lets go of you just for a second to get some air.

“Sorry, I-“

“Sit down.”

“What?”

“We have like fifteen minutes before Mariah and Isaac are going to get here. Sit down.” Harry sits in his desk chair, and you grab the throw pillow on the little couch he has in his office, putting it on the floor.

“What’s happening right now?”

“I’m going to give you something you’ve been asking for, for a long time.” You get on your knees in front of him.

“Buster, go sit on the couch.” He does as Harry says and looks away from the two of you. “You’re serious?”

“Yes. I want you to be as relaxed as possible. And I know how much you love it when my lipstick gets all of your cock.” You smirk.

You undo his pants and tug his hardening cock out. You pump it a few times, and rub your thumb over his tip. You lean forward and lick the underside of his shaft. You lick of his tip, flicking back and forth on his slit.

“Shit.” He breathes, gripping the armrests of his chair.

You suckle on his tip before taking more of him. You bob up and down slowly, and he bucks his hips up. You let him hit the back of your throat. You’re desperately hoping your eyes don’t water so your makeup doesn’t get fucked up. You swallow against him, making him grit his teeth. He’s trying so hard to be quiet, how cute. You bob up and down on him faster, hollowing your cheeks.

“Fuck, Y/N, I’m gonna come.” He feels his stomach tighten.

You groan against him as it shoots into your mouth. You take all of it, careful not to make a mess. You swallow and slowly stand up. He looks at you and tucks himself back in.

“Do you have any water?” You ask, wiping the corners of your mouth. He points to the bottle on the side table next to the couch.

You grab it and sip on some, swishing it around in your mouth before you swallow. You grab your lipstick out of your purse and touch up your mouth. Harry slowly stands up. You straighten out his clothes and smile.

“Well?”

“I feel…much better. Thank you.” He presses his forehead to yours.

“My pleasure.” You smirk. “Buster, come on, we need to go downstairs now.” He hops off the couch and goes to your side.

Harry follows you out of his office, and perks up even more when he sees all of the food and drinks set up. Mariah and Isaac just walk in as you and Harry come down the stairs.

“It looks amazing in here!” Mariah says as she gives Harry a hug.

“Let me take a picture of you three, it’ll kickstart my posts.”

The line up and all make pouty faces.

“Jesus, you all should just be models.”

“Y/N, let’s get one of you and Harry.” Isaac snatches your phone. Harry hooks an arm around your waist and you place a hand on the exposed part of his chest. “You two are so cute, it’s ridiculous.”

“When’s Rach getting here?” You ask Mariah.

“She’s coming with Niall and Sarah.” She smiles.

A little while later, the party gets started. Niall, Sarah and Rachel all walk in. They each hug Harry and Mariah and start walking around to check the space out. More and more people trickle in. Past and current clients of Harry’s. He mingles with a ton of people, nursing a glass of wine. You go around taking pictures, monitoring mentions. Erica, your mom, Bridget, and Kyle all show up to support as well.

Your eyes keep watching the door. You needed Louis and El to get here before Harry made his speech. People were starting to circle up as it was starting to be that time. Just as Mariah was starting to clink her glass, the doors fly open, catching everyone’s attention.

“Mum?! Gem?!” Harry’s eyes become glossy.

“Harry!” They both say in unison. Louis and El walk in behind them and you feel a giant wave of relief.

The three of them all run towards each other and hug. You squeeze Louis’ shoulder and smile.

“Sorry, they insisted on freshening up, and it took them way longer than we thought.”

“I tried rushin’ ‘em…but they wanted to look around the place too.”

“Of course they did.” You sigh. “It’s okay, they’re here now.”

“You two suck! You said you couldn’t make it!”

“We lied!” Gemma says. “Y/N arranged the whole thing.” Harry looks over to you. Before he can come over Mariah clinks her glass.

“So sorry to break up the family moment, but in order to enjoy the entire evening, we have to get this crap out of the way.” The crowd laughs. You were grateful you thought of microphones. You start filming Mariah for a live video. “Three years ago I started working at this great place where I got to take pictures of plants. About a month in they hired another photographer. This guy who kept to himself. Once in a while he’s laugh or even talk. We later found out he was from the U.K.” The crowd laughs. “Little did I know that not only would this guy become one of my best friends, introduce me to my girlfriend, hey babe,” Rachel blows her a kiss. “But what I really wasn’t expecting was for him to ask me to leave the comfort of my job to come work with him.” She looks at Harry. The two are glossy eyed. “Thank you for being one of the most amazing people I know. I’m honored to do be in this with you. Ladies and gentlemen, Harry Styles.”

The crowd claps as Harry hugs Mariah, and takes the mic from her.

“Thanks, Mariah. I never thought I’d need a work partner, especially since I think my way is the right way.”  The crowd makes noises in agreement at Harry’s arrogance. “Yeah, yeah, thanks. Anyways, I wouldn’t be able to do this without you, so thanks.” He clears his throat. “I wanna thank you all for comin’. It means a lot to be supported by so many familiar faces, and some new ones. I love taking pictures, I always have. I’ve been there during some really beautiful moments for a lot of you, and I’m excited to be able to continue doing it full time. I want to thank Isaac Matthews for also leavin’ his comfortable job.” The crowd claps for Isaac. “There’s no one else I’d trust to book appointments for me. Speakin’ of which, he’ll be goin’ around all night with that tablet he’s holdin’, so you know, don’t be shy.” He smirks. “I want to thank my friends for bein’ here tonight to support me, as always. I’m fuckin’ annoying, I don’t know why you all put up with me, but I’m grateful.” They all laugh. “Mum, Gem, this is the best surprise ever. I’m so glad you both are here. Wouldn’t have felt right without you.”

“We love you, honey!” Anne shouts.

“Lastly…” Harry looks over aT you, who was intently filming him. “Y/N.” You look up from your phone as you continue to film. “I wouldn’t have been able to do this without you, I mean it. I never would’ve found the guts to finally build my business up. You make me better every day.”

“Oh my god, do you think he’s going to propose?” Sarah whispers to Niall.

“No way, he wouldn’t do that tonight.”

“But her family’s here.” She points to your mom and siblings.

“No…he…has a plan. He wouldn’t…”

“Can you com here?”

You shakily pass your phone to Louis so he can keep filming the live video. Harry wraps an arm around your shoulders.

“Not many people know this, but Y/N is really good at social media marketing. She planned this entire event so I could focus on renovatin’ this place. She got her dad and brother to help me out with that. She built the website so many of you have started to use, and she’s been postin’ pictures all night.” The crowd cheers for you. “Y/N, I cannot say thank you enough. You’re the love of my life, and I couldn’t feel more lucky.” He kisses you and everyone cheers. You beam at him and wipe a few tears from your eyes. “Alright, enough of that. We have prints of sale and lots of booklets to go through. So please, keep supportin’ me and spend some money.” Everyone claps and Harry hands the mic to a waiter. The crowd goes back to mingling and checking everything out. “You got my mum and sister here.”

“I got your mum and sister here.”

“You got them to lie to me.”

“I got them to lie to you.” He hugs you and kisses you again.

“You’re amazing, I love you so much.”

“I love you too. I’m so proud of you.”

“Harry?” A woman asks. “Do you take senior photos? My daughter is graduating this year, and we don’t care for the photographer the school provides.”

“Yeah! Let me show you some samples, actually.” He walks with the woman over to one of the booklets.

You go over to Louis to take your phone back.

“I stopped the livestream, but didn’t post anything.”

“Thanks! I wasn’t expecting him to do that.” You giggle. You walk away and Louis turns to Niall.

“Thought he was goin’ t’bloody propose.”

“So did I for a second there.” Niall says.

“Wait, you said he has a plan for that.” Sarah says.

“When exactly is he planning to do it?” Rachel asks.

“Girls, would you like to come with me the loo?” El asks.

“Oh sure!” Sarah says. El winks at the boys as the girls follow her to the bathroom.

“We can’t tell them what he told us. I don’t want any of it to be spoiled.” Niall says.

“Agreed.”

“Niall!” Erica says to him.

“Hey!” He gives her a light hug. “Hey guys, glad you could make it. Lou, this is Y/N’s sister Erica, her brother Kyle, her other sister Bridget, and her mum.”

They all introduce themselves to Louis.

“Thought he was going to ask her to marry him for a second there.” Your mom says.

“Yeah, that would’ve been crazy.” Louis laughs.

“They’ve been together, what? Almost ten months? He said she was the love of his life, that’s wild.” Bridget says.

“Well…not totally wild. I mean, we’ve both known Harry a long time, he’s never said that about anyone he’s ever dated.” Louis says. “And didja see how happy they were? They have this little life together.”

“Yeah, and what would know anyways?” Niall says. Both of Bridget’s eyebrows raise and Kyle nearly bursts out laughing. Erica’s jaw drops, and your mom bites the inside of her cheek. “You should be happy your baby sister is with someone that cares about her so much.”

“Especially by someone as great as that lad over there.”

“And had he proposed tonight, she would have said yes without hesitation.”

They all look at Niall and Louis.

“Mom!” You yell. “Come here, I want you to meet Anne and Gemma.” You look at your siblings. “Well, I suppose you all can.” You wave them over and they walk towards you.

The girls come back over to Niall and Louis.

“Anne, Gemma, these are my siblings and my mom.” They all introduce themselves.

“You must be so proud of your son.” You mom says.

“Oh, I am. He never ceases to amaze us.”

You leave your family to get to know Anne and Gemma so you can continue doing your thing. The night goes really well. A lot of people buy prints, and Mariah and Harry’s calendars fill up with appointments. You were exhausted, and so was Buster. Harry had to carry him out to your car for you.

“I’ll see yeh at home. Mum’s gonna ride with me, and Gem said she’d go with you.”

“Sounds good, see you soon. So proud, tonight was amazing.” You kiss and get in your cars.

“Your mum is really nice.” Gemma says.

“Oh good, they weren't rude?”

“Not at all! They were lovely. It was so nice to meet all of them. The party was amazing. I can’t thank you enough for pushing him to finally do this. He’s so happy.”

“You know what the funny thing is? I never once asked him to do it, never told him to. One day he sort of just brought it up. I supported him on it.”

“That’s all he needed. That reassurance that he could do it. And you dove right in to help. That website you built is incredible.”

“Thanks, that means a lot.” You smile.

You put Buster over your shoulder and you and Gemma head up to the apartment.

“Harry…” Anne says on the ride back.

“Yeah, mum?”

“I’m so proud of you. So many people showed up for you tonight.”

“I’m still in shock. I’m really glad you were there.”

“You frightened me for a moment.”

“When?”

“When you gave your speech, and called Y/N over. My heart nearly stopped.”

“What?” He laughs. “Why?”

“I thought you were going to propose.”

“Mum…I would’ve told you if that was my plan.”

“Would you have?”

“Of course! I tell you everythin’ don’t I?” He sighs. “I am plannin’ on it though, but not for another few months.”

“Harry, you really think you’re ready for marriage?”

“Mum, I wanna spend the rest of my life with her. Why not get engaged?”

“She feels the same way?”

“Yes.”

“You’ve had that conversation?”

“Of course we have.”

“And what about children?”

“Talked about it.”

“How will you raise them? She’s Jewish, you’re not. Will you stay in the city for a few years? Move out to the suburbs? What would that mean for your business?”

“Mum, please!”

“I’m sorry honey, I just need to make sure you’ve thought these things through! This is a huge life decision!”

“Duh! And yeah we have talked about those things. We’d raise ‘em Jewish, but still have Christmas and Easter. Neither of us wanna move out of the city yet. She doesn’t even want to have kids for another couple of years anyways.”

“Good, the dog’s plenty for now.”

“I agree.”

“You really love her that much?”

“I really do, mum.”

“Alright, well not that you need it, but you have my blessin’.”

“Really?”

“Of course. She’s lovely, and I think she fits right in with us.”

“How was meetin’ her mum and siblings?”

“Oh it was great! I think her mum and I are gonna have lunch while Gem and I are here.”

You and Gemma were sipping on tea when Harry and Anne get up to the apartment.

“Well, I don’t know about you all, but I’m pooped. Breakfast tomorrow?”

“Yeah, mum. We’ll go to Rick’s.”

“Alright, goodnight sweet pea.” She looks at Gemma.

“I’m gonna stay up a bit, finish my tea.”

“Okay, goodnight, night Y/N.”

“Night, Anne.”

Harry plops down on the sofa next to you. Buster was in his bed fast asleep. The three of you stay up chatting for a bit until you all decide to call it a night.

“Is Aunt Flow still in town?” Harry whispers.

“No she left this morning.” You whisper back. “I can’t have sex with you. It’s one thing with friends, but your mom and sister?”

“Come on, we’ll be quiet.” You look at him. He looked so fucking good, and you were still riled up from giving him a blow job.

“Okay…in the bathroom, with the fan on.”

“Who did it, Professor Plum?”

“Harry!” You laugh and cup a hand over your mouth and shuffle into the bathroom.

He peals your dress off and it pools at your feet. He lifts you up onto the sink counter. It’s cold against you and you wince.

“Don’t worry baby, I’m gonna warm yeh up.” He takes all his clothes off. He reaches between your legs and slowly fingers you.

“Ugh, Harry.” Your head rolls back. You loved when he did this. Deep and slow. His fingers curl up inside you. “Shit.” You moan.

“I love you so fuckin’ much.” His lips connect to yours, and he swallows your moans as he pumps in and out of you, knuckles deep.

“Harry.” You groan. “I love you too.” You press your forehead to his shoulder. “Please, fuck me with your cock.”

He pulls his fingers out of you, and pumps himself a few times before lining up with you. He pulls you closer and thrusts into you. You wrap your legs around him and your arms go up under his so you can grip his back easier. He rocks in and out of you. His teeth sink into your shoulder so he won’t be too loud. One of his hands moves between the two of you so he can rub your clit.

“Fuck, oh my god.”

Harry crashes his mouth to yours. You knew you needed to be quiet and this was the only way to do it. You panted into his mouth and bite harshly on his bottom lip when you come. Once you catch your breath you bury your face in his neck. He fucks you hard and fast until he’s filling you up. You both stay there for a second, just holding each other. He pulls out and helps you down. You use the toilet while he brushes his teeth. You wash your face and brush your own teeth.

You both crawl into bed. He rests his head on your chest and you play with his hair.

“My mum said she’s going to have lunch with your mum sometime this week.”

“Wonderful.”

Harry looks up at you. You kiss each other again and he lays back down. The party was perfect. You knew Harry would start to get busier than ever. But right now, he was in your arms. Right now you were engulfed with each other. Right now, nothing else mattered.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Suit Up

Warnings: dub/noncon sex (a good ole American fucking)

This is dark!Bucky Barnes and explicit. 18+ only.

Summary: Bucky borrows a couple things from Steve.

Note: Okay so we wanted Bucky in the cap suit so here you go. I don’t need forgiveness, I’m already too far gone.

Anyway :) Please like, reply, and/or reblog if you read. <3 Love you all.

It was quiet at the compound. You had a few minutes to yourself, a fresh tea in hand as you sat in the kitchen and scrolled through your phone. Despite the lull, it had been a high pressure day. A press conference featuring your best and worst public faces. Steve was always good for his million dollar smile but Bucky’s brooding made him less than favoured by the media.

Stick to the talking points. The reminder had been given to both of them but Bucky knew the words were aimed at him. Smile and answer the questions, don’t say anything more than you need to. Bucky was good at the last part. Not the most talkative.

He had done quite well. His best appearance to date. He managed a closed-lip smile and came off as personable even if he looked a bit troubled when not speaking. Steve saved him. He assured the public of their last mission’s success and the necessity of collateral. No lives were lost, only material damage.

You read over the headlines, tweets, and hashtags. The reaction was mostly positive. Tony would be pleased. He was even more uptight about these things than you; his PR manager. He was especially paranoid about your treatment of Bucky, he said you were too easy on him. Maybe you were but you weren’t going to be a business bitch to your own boyfriend.

Speaking of. You sipped your tea as the voices interrupted your peace. Steve entered with his shield in hand. Bucky was just behind him. They were in mid-conversation as they came upon you on the stool with your English Breakfast.

“Hey,” You greeted as you set down your mug. 

“Hey,” Steve was smiles still; Bucky was less than. He grumbled his hello.

“You guys did great,” You praised, “Really. Hit every single point we went over. And you dealt with the Buzzfeed lady just perfectly.”

“Really?” Bucky came up beside you. He looked tired. “She didn’t seem to like me much.

“She doesn’t like anyone.” You assured him and touched his elbow. He bent to peck your cheek. “She no longer has clearance to attend Nat’s appearances ...due to security issues.”

“Oh, so she’s that one,” Bucky nodded, “It was really okay?”

“Perfect,” You promised him. Steve set his shield on the counter with a clink. “Shield was a bit much.”

“I said so but Tony said to take it.” Steve sighed. “Says it completes the image.”

“Oh yeah, it really complements that leather jacket,” You shook your head, “He may as well have you in the whole suit.”

“Please don’t put it past him,” Steve leaned on the counter as Bucky’s hand settled on your lower back. “I don’t think I could make it through sweating in that damned cowl.”

“Really that bad? Always thought the suit looked quite comfortable.” You joked. 

“Some of it. It’s improved. The stars and stripes they had me in before were the worst. Didn’t breathe at all,” He chuckled. “Just holding the shield gets a bit tiring.”

“Whine, whine, whine,” Bucky commented, “The guy’s been bitching all morning.”

“You wanna hold it next time?” Steve challenged lightly.

“Hey, I carry this thing around twenty-four seven,” Bucky tapped his vibranium shoulder. “Don’t think you’d be up for a fair trade.”

You stared at the silver rim of the bulls eye and took a drink of your tea as they bickered. “It looks pretty light to me.” You said. “Well, I mean not for me, but you make it look light.”

“I mean, it’s subjective,” Steve ran his fingers along the shields edge, “You can give it a try if you like.”

“What, uh no.” You stuttered. “No, I’d never...it’s like...sacred, isn’t it.”

“I toss that thing directly into flames, it’s far from fragile,” Steve scoffed, “Go on.”

He lifted the shield and rounded the island. Bucky stepped back and crossed his arms. He watched with pursed lips. You glanced at him. Did he disapprove? Steve offered the shield and you stared at it. 

“I don’t know. I’m not very strong.” You said.

“There’s straps,” He turned it and presented the thick leather handles. “I won’t let go unless you say so, okay?”

“Oh...fine,” You smiled, “How could I turn this up?”

You reached for the leather straps and Bucky loomed in your purview. Steve kept hold of the vibranium as you felt its weight and you bit your lip. You looked up at him nervously. “Just let go a little maybe? I don’t wanna drop it.”

“Sure,” He kept one hand on it and you threatened to tip. You planted your feet and nodded. He released it entirely and you wobbled. You grunted as you held it up with effort and he laughed in amusement.

“See, you got it,” He remarked, “You’re a lot stronger than you look.” He glanced at your phone beside your mug. “You wanna pic? People usually love that.”

“Oh, no,” You giggled. “That’s fine. I’m sure it looks ridiculous without the whole get up.”

“Ridiculous, eh?” Steve challenged.

“I didn’t mean…” Your arms slumped and Steve caught the shield before it could crash out of your grip. “Didn’t mean it like that, I just meant...I don’t know, it’s a whole look.”

Steve swiftly flipped the shield back onto the counter. You looked over as Bucky crossed to the fridge and opened it. He peered inside and pulled out a bottle of bright blue vitamin water. He turned back to you and cracked it open. He looked less than impressed.

“Sorry, arm’s attached,” He shrugged as he sat in your former stool.

“Buck,” You shook your head.

“Just a glorified plate,” He muttered.

“Hey, you could show off the arm, buddy,” Steve smirked. “You’re the one who hides it.”

Bucky narrowed his eyes and swigged from his bottle. You reached for your mug and felt the heat rising from him. Was he jealous? Over a shield? You shrugged off his displeasure and sipped from your tea.

“Next time, don’t listen to Tony,” You advised. “The shield is a distraction and not a good one.”

-

You left the pair of super soldiers shortly after and returned to your office. Tony went over the press conference with a fine tooth comb and despite his best efforts, could find few faults. You were relieved and quickly got back to your perusal of social media to monitor the response. 

You left your office an hour late that night but Bucky had made himself sparse. He didn’t answer when you knocked and no texts chimed in your inbox. He was always quiet on press days. He needed to decompress. You’d give him his space and tell him how proud you were the next day.

You messaged him as you closed your door. Just checking in. You undressed casually as you moved around your room and left your clothes strewn along the chair. You turned on the shower and lost yourself in the steam. A long but otherwise successful day.

You pulled on a night shirt and settled into bed with your phone. Still no response. You distracted yourself with kitten pictures and dumb memes along your feed. You yawned and slumped down against the pillows. You texted Bucky again. No response. 

‘Hey, when’s the last time you saw Buck?’ You texted Steve. You just needed some assurance before you settled down.

You hit back and selected the “top ten moments from Steve Roger’s press conference.” That wouldn’t please Bucky, he was never mentioned.

You didn’t get past the first heading when the click startled you. You looked up as your locked handle rattled and cracked. You shimmied across the bed and stood as the door opened. You set aside your phone and gaped at the vision before you. Were you dreaming? Surely you were.

“Why’s your door locked?” Bucky asked and you blinked. 

For a moment, you thought Steve had broken into your room. The blue suit strained against his thicker arms and the shield was held lithely on his left forearm. His hair was hidden beneath the cowl and his jaw looked even squarer. He was wearing the Captain suit and it didn’t quite fit him. In fact, it was much too tight.

“What are you doing?” You laughed. Stunned.

“Don’t you like it?” He closed the door but it wouldn’t catch. The latch was entirely busted. “Isn’t this what you like?” He struck Steve’s typical stance, hands on belt as he posed. 

“What do you mean, Buck?” You trilled, thoroughly amused.

“I saw the look on your face,” He said darkly, “Heard the little glimmer in your voice.”

“Buck…” You shook your head. “We we’re having fun. That’s all.”

“You two were having fun,” He asserted. Your smile fell as he lowered the shield and stepped forward. 

“You’re jealous? Of me and Steve?” You scoffed. “That’s--Bucky.”

“You were practically drooling,” He snarled. “Isn’t this what you want? Good ole Cap to fuck you right?”

“Bucky,” You warned. “You’re being mean.”

“Mean? I’m making your dreams come true, babe,” He shoved the shield into the chair and turned back to you.

“I think you should go,” You tried to push past him and move the shield. “Put all this back before Steve notices.”

“I think you should listen to your captain,” He grabbed your arm and shoved you back towards the bed. “Look at you,” He inched the bottom of your night shirt up and peeked at your bare vee. “You we’re just waiting for this.”

“Bucky,” You pushed on his chest and he led you backward until your legs met the end of the bed.

“Captain,” He corrected you and nudged you back so that you fell onto the mattress. You bounced on your ass and tried to stand. He pointed a gloved finger hand at your face and tutted. “Don’t move.”

You sat and stared up at him. He reached up and removed the cowl and his hair spilled forth. “He’s fucking right about the helmet,” He threw it against the shield. He grasped the belt again and glared down at you. “Take that off.”

You winced in confusion. “Bucky, it’s enough.”

“Take it off,” He growled, each word punctuated. “Now.”

You huffed and tugged the tail of the night shirt from beneath your ass and pulled it over your head. He took it from you and tossed it away. You crossed your legs and arms in an effort to hide yourself.

“Why you being shy now, babe?” He felt along the belt. “He’s got lots of little toys for us to play with.”

Your nostrils flared and you stayed silent. You didn’t know what to say or do. It was like he was in a trance. On some mission and he wouldn’t stop until he was done. He held up a pair of cuffs; hi-tech and unbreakable. The kind they used for the most dangerous criminals. 

You shook your head. “Uh-uh.”

“What? Are you telling your captain no?” He sneered. He spun the cuffs around his finger. “Do you know the protocol for disobedience?” You gulped as he neared. He grabbed your hand and clasped a cuff around your wrist. “I mean, now I have to use these, don’t I?”

He pulled you around and dragged you across the bed on your knees. You tried to resist him but he was too strong. He looped the cuffs through the head board and caught your other wrist. He locked the other cuff and left you bent over, your hands bound to the frame.

“Bucky,” You said frantically. “Bucky, I don’t like this. You know I hate being trapped.”

“Shhh,” He hushed you as he paced around the bed. “Get that ass up, babe.”

You growled and pulled harder on the cuffs. The bed sank behind you and he grasped your hips. He forced your ass up and you wiggled against him. “I fucking mean it, Bucky.”

“Captain!” He barked and spanked your ass. Hard. You yelped. “Better start listening or I’ll see what else he has hidden in this belt.”

You sucked in your bottom lip and groaned. He kneaded your ass as you tried to lower it and pinched. 

“Don’t you fucking dare,” He warned. “Keep it up.”

Your shoulders strained and you fell down on your elbows as you kept your ass in the air. He pushed your legs apart with his and pressed his crotch to you. He rubbed against you until you felt his erection through the suit. 

He brought his hand up between you and shoved his gloved fingers along your folds. You tremble and he played with you. Despite your confusion, your fear, your anger, you were wet. You hadn’t fucked since before his last mission. He had been too anxious about the conference. 

He slicked the fingertips of the leather gloves and pushed them inside. You whined at the sudden intrusion and he buried his fingers as far as they would go. He drew them in and out a few times until your juices had spread. He removed his hand and fumbled between your bodies.

He pressed his cock along your ass and down to your pussy. You leaned forward and he pulled you back. He entered you in a single motion and you gasped. You held onto the bedframe as you struggled not to fall onto your face. He reared and slammed back into you as hard as he can. He was never this rough with you.

“You think he can fuck you like this?” He hissed between thrusts; each harder than the last. “Hmm? You think Captain America can make you cum?”

You arched your back as he fucked you. The fabric of the suit chafed against your ass as he guided your hips. Your legs trembled as he plunged deeper and deeper. You couldn’t help the twinge you felt at your core. The gathering fervour that nipped at your flesh. 

“Is this what you think of when you fuck me?” He snapped and you looked over your shoulder at him. His eyes were dark and furious. He grabbed your head and forced it down to the mattress. “Hmm? Are you thinking of him breaking your little pussy?”

“No,” You panted as your arms were stretched painfully above you. “No.”

“Oh yeah?” He sped up and you moaned. 

“No, no, not him,” You swore between gasps. Your orgasm hovered just along your spine. “Only you. Bucky…”

“Captain,” He let go of your head and smacked your ass. 

He pushed your pelvis down to the bed so your legs splayed out between him and he continued to pound into you. He pinned your shoulders down with his hands and hammered into you.

“Oh, oh, oh,” You ascended quickly, “Captain. Oh, Captain!”

You cried out in orgasm and spasmed beneath him. You heard a creak as you buried your face in the pillows and Bucky’s rhythm wavered slightly. He moved his hand to the back of your head again and kept your face towards the wall.

“Again,” He ordered, “Louder.”

“Oh, Captain,” You exclaimed as your pussy thrummed around him. “Captain, Captain, Captain…”

He grunted and groaned. He bucked against you and his breath hitched as he came. The ribbons coated your walls as he slowed and chuckled. He smacked your ass as he leaned back and slowly pulled out.

“Sorry about that,” Bucky said nonchalantly as he climbed off the bed, “Didn’t hear you knock.”

“What?” You lifted your head and looked over your shoulder. Steve stood in the door and stared at your naked body across the bed. You closed your legs as his eyes drifted to your dripping pussy. “Bucky!”

“Don’t worry,” Bucky tucked his cock away and neared his friend. “I’ll have the suit cleaned.” He clapped Steve’s shoulder and gripped the door with his other hand. “But if it’s alright with you, I’m not done with it just yet.”

You couldn’t see past Bucky and were glad for it as you listened to Steve sputter and the rush of his footsteps as he retreated down the hall. Bucky closed the door and grabbed the shield to prop up against it so that it didn’t budge. He turned back to you and reached into his pants.

“Shit,” He stopped short as he came to the end of the bed, “Was that rude? Should I have invited him to join?”

[five-wow]

I WATCHED 10.22. HERE ARE SOME THOUGHTS UNDER THE CUT. i promise they won’t all be in full caps, but i feel i should also warn you that this was not proofread.

the episode is starting! it has started. the start has started.

lots of flashbacks from 10.21 with VERY dramatic music in the background and it’s very much working on me. EMOTIONS.

oh my gosh we’re now getting a flashback (a new one, not “previously on”) to wo fat and victor hesse planning some evil shit with daiyu mei serving them tea and it is EVEN MORE DRAMATIC than the previously on was. i am IMPRESSED. also maybe laughing a little bit, but in a way where i’m genuinely enjoying the extreme “LOOK, THIS IS BAD” of it, gosh.

fun way to remind us of how it all started, with these two planning anton’s extraction! they get to show us bits and pieces from the pilot while we still get something new.

wo fat: “blood. is blood.” hmmm, the show seems to want us to think he has a point but i’m mostly amused this is coming from the ultimate bad guy because yes, that seems about right. (hashtag you don’t owe people anything just because you’re related to them, shuddup.)

daiyu mei looks all shy and awkward when wo fat asks for her input but i’ve decided that’s an act to keep victor underestimating her.

steve and cole are in a car and fjdkfdjk wait catherine is a super code breaker now? idk, she may have displayed some skills that leaned that way in the past, but now she’s suddenly well-known as one of the best in that field even though that’s not even her field as far as we know? i. i don’t mind catherine getting brought up in conversation but this is such an odd way to do it.

“we were together for a buncha years” hahaha, fandom never really knows how to define the start and end of their relationship and it seems steve doesn’t, either.

“she was the one that got away. what’re you gonna do?” well, look sad and frowny while this guy you barely know throws you a somewhat awkward look because you’re suddenly baring your heart to him, apparently! (for real though, i get that people will be upset at this phrasing and i’m sort of thinking this is a lead in to things i won’t like at the end of the episode and that’s bad but for what it’s worth, i don’t mind this at all! she did slip away from him at a time where he thought they were going somewhere else and he’s talking in past tense now.)

cole is worried he ruined steve’s day by bringing up catherine and that’s sweet, actually! seals emotionally supporting seals.

OOF it is TIME for danny to get ABDUCTED. also: i love that steve immediately drops everything, including the very important super secret difficult to arrange meeting to maybe finally get some insight into this cipher that doris left him, to race to wherever danny is in his car. i feel like alerting hpd (or anyone else in five-0 who might be closer) would be a good idea, but it makes a lot of sense for steve to need to Be There himself.

ohhhhh steve continually nearly crashing his truck while yelling for danny but only hearing gunshots over the line is 👌👌👌. THE ANGST. THE TENSION. very good, very good.

the camaro is BURNING. well that’s one way to smack us in the face with the end of an era, damn.

steve is ALSO BURNING because he obviously tried to get inside the car ahhhh.

fjdkf steve calls tani with instruction about cameras and tani asks if everything is okay because he sounds upset and all he says is “danny’s been taken” and that’s how tani an junior find out, poor dears.

steve, instructing hpd: “we’re looking for detective danny williams. you know who he is, my partner, right? we’re looking for him.” YOU KNOW WHO HE IS. MY PARTNER.

steve is already out of breath from sheer stress and he’s just standing around the tech table with the team, my gosh. (I LOVE THIS.)

danny, bloody and chained up and facing his captor, a woman he already knows is very, very dangerous: [makes a joke about exchanging insurance information because they burned his car] (LOVE HIM TOO.)

OOF though, daiyu mei lets danny know she knows he has two kids and the jokes are over because that’s definitely the line with danny, god.

here’s the scene from the one preview clip i watched! i’m really enjoying daiyu mei, by the way. she’s still a totally bonkers way to bring the threat of wo fat back even after he’s dead, but she is genuinely threatening.

“i have the person you care about most in the world” hello yes i’m still yelling about that one and might not stop soon

daiyu mei telling steve not to make the same mistake he did with his father and “allow a loved one to die” is so mean but so good and narratively pretty darn cool.

we’re not even eleven minutes in and we’re already at “come alone, commander, or your friend dies”. [insert that escalated quickly meme]

steve thinks he has zero options except give in to exactly what daiyu mei wants and it’s very unsteve of him but also fits perfectly with the mindset they’ve maneouvred him into over the past few episodes and with DANNY BEING GONE so i like it. i like that steve is very obviously freaking the fuck out.

never though i would say this, but... steve, you should listen to adam. it’s shocking, especially this season, but he is making an actual good judgment.

steve alone in the elevator on the verge of either a panic attack or breaking down crying and curling up into a ball is A LOT.

steve goes to the meeting alone, gets a location and confirmation that danny is alive and then hands over the cipher, and that’s good but also... i mean, for real, if he had just printed some random symbols on a similar piece of paper (maybe even the same symbols but in a different order!) how on earth would daiyu mei have known?

OH. OHHHH. danny does the badass steve-ish thing where he pulls himself up by his shackles to somehow get himself free, holy fuck, yes man.

IT WORKS. knocked out the guard, got the keys, got a gun - damn son. not only do we get worried out of his mind steve, we ALSO get bamf danny, ahhhh.

AND THEN HE GETS SHOT IN THE SHOULDER, which is where all those promo pictures came from obviously, and also means we’re about to tick off the hurt part of h/c in an even bolder font than we already had.

fdjkfdjkfd steve’s litany of comforting little nonsense lines while he’s dragging danny to the car and getting him into it and NOT GETTING BEHIND THE WHEEL BUT STAYING WITH DANNY IN THE BACK is killing me slowly.

fdjkfd steve hugging danny’s bloody face in his lap oh my god

apparently that wasn’t GOOD ENOUGH YET because then they’re at the hospital and steve tells the doctor’s what’s up and they’re about to roll danny away and danny, half dead and according to steve in and out of consciousness, somehow finds the time to try to grAB AT STEVE’S ARM BLINDLY. steve: “hey, i’m with you buddy, it’s okay.” DEAD. NOT DANNY, ME. I AM VERY DEAD.

the entire team is stressed and worried and just dead quiet, watching danny and steve. ohhhh boy.

oh fuck oh fuck steve is praying and red-eyed and furious and telling god “you wanna take somebody? take me. not him, you take me.” and i have a very big massive weak spot for exactly this.

cole comes to find steve to offer to figure out the cipher thing and steve has a very hard time giving a single flying shit and then HANDS COLE HIS GUN. welllll. just letting go of stuff they never would have normally left and right, here. i was kind of expecting steve’s badge to follow.

tani has a lot of good worried moments and i love that.

danny is out of surgery!!! steve gets to see him!!!

oh GOD we get a sad version of all for one while steve is in danny’s hospital room and grabs danny’s hand and i am. oh. oh. not okay.

STILL ONLY JUST PAST THE HALFWAY POINT OF THE EPISODE.

it’s honestly kind of weird that cole has this much screentime (i know he was supposed to be back for the season 11 that will never happen, but with the way things turned out that’s not very relevant anymore in story), but i mind it less than i thought i would have. i like him, and i’m glad he has quinn with him now, because i always want more of her.

danny wakes up and his slightly loopy conversation with steve has me fjdkfdjkfd. d: [says you’re supposed to be happy when a patient wakes up] s, like he might still be about to cry: “i’m happy.” d: “yeah? yeah, me too.”

steve is hurting and blaming himself for everything (very in character) and danny tells him he’s already annoying and that if he had a dollar for every time steve saved his life he’d have like twenty bucks (also very in character) and i’m glad for that bit of comic relief and they need it, too, but somebody also needs to give steve a good shake until the thought that this is on him leaves his head. if anyone except daiyu mei is responsible here, it’s doris. blame doris, jfc.

danny, after nearly dying and only just waking up in the hospital, while he still has trouble speaking: “put [the call steve is getting] on speaker, would you, i’m bored.” more jokes! but it also makes me go fjdkfdjk because you will not convince me that this is not danny, extremely injured, still trying to take care of steve by distracting him from all the misery they’re in.

fjdkfd OKAY SO. plot stuff: the cipher translates to coordinates that apparently lead to the place where the mcgarretts thought doris was buried. steve says he knows the place because his dad used to take him there and ? because i always thought john sent his kids away pretty soon after doris died so he can’t have had much time to visit her grave a lot with them, but also just, the drama of it, wow, doris. send your son an encrypted message that sends him to your fake grave, why don’t you.

jfkdsjlfksljfds the mcgarretts have a family mausoleum now, apparently, omfg. and there was still a space with doris’s name on it? even though they’ve known for how many years by now that she was still alive oh my gosh

cole is along for the ride to doris’s fake grave and steve keeps dropping these little nuggets from his family history and cole keeps (rightfully!) looking a little confused and/or alarmed, poor guy, hahaha.

daiyu mei is running full tilt and doing some mad parcour shit in a suit and what looks like high heels and there is a whole action scene here with lots of players and constant shooting and some one-on-one fighting, but i am fully distracted by the shoewear.

oh, false alarm, probably! not quite high heels, just something ballarina like with a very tiny heel. that’s better.

fjdkfjdkfd OOF daiyu mei nearly kills steve, steve gets the upper hand, daiyu mei says some things and we’re given another flashback to wo fat and victor hesse and this time also john when he was held hostage, and suddenly we’re told he’s not surprised that doris had a secret son (wo fat) and that he suspected her death was staged.

OH MY GU==fdj

okay so those were typos but i’m LEAVING THEM because “whatever happens next, don’t tell my son. it would be too hard on him.” HELLO JOHN, FUCK YOU JOHN. he wanted??? to keep this secret??? from steve??? and also he doesn’t even acknowledge that he maybe has more than just a son. maybe there is a person called mary out there somewhere? might ring a bell, if you think about it long and hard.

wo fat: “you’re a good man, john mcgarrett.” i really don’t know if we’re supposed to agree with things wo fat says but he’s mostly voicing the opposite of what i feel this episode.

daiyu mei to steve: “you are your father.” oh gosh. oh no.

ahh, here’s a point where cole’s presence really starts to take away from other characters. he shows up to steve and daiyu mei’s confrontation to back steve up, and that obviously should have been any other character that we’ve known for way longer and have way more attachment to (junior! that would have been so good, or maybe lou, who’s also been here for seven years, or tani, who keeps worrying), especially, very very much especially when steve goes “book her, cole”. that’s just confusing, too. so far the cole and steve parallels have been thrown at us and now he’s suddenly in danny’s place.

32 minutes out of 42 and we’re at “one week later” and steve hopping through his garden to get to the beach chairs where danny is sitting. this is good but worrying for how early it comes.

danny says he misses the very nice nurse who brought him jello and steve tells him not to confuse a caregiver for someone who cares and danny goes “yeah? you know jealousy is not uh, pretty on you.” and then they’re both awkwardly quiet for a moment. dear lord.

AND THEN THINGS WENT PEARSHAPED. danny: “you all packed?” my heart is sinking fast. maybe i should just quit here and leave it at danny telling steve jealousy is not pretty on him (which implies other things are pretty on steve - let’s get back to that).

steve to danny, who is talking up hawaii (which is of course very good): “who are you?” i am having FLASHBACKS to junior asking tani that exact same thing just a few episodes ago.

danny seriously questions steve’s decision to just up and leave hawaii a bunch of times and yes, danny, good, grill him. this is a stupid plan.

danny: “you know, it don’t feel like it’s gonna be okay. it feels like- my main dude is leaving me.” HI STEVE. MAYBE DON’T. MAYBE DON’T GO. MAYBE DON’T HURT DANNY.

“you got a phone, right?” we’re seriously at that point. we are. seriously at that point. wow.

steve forces danny to get up to give him the frigging tenderest, dopily smiliest hug and it is so very sweet yet so very wrong.

“I LOVE YOU, MAN.” / “I LOVE YOU TOO.” THEY DID NOT YELL THAT BUT I AM BECAUSE THIS IS ALL I’VE WANTED FOR TWO YEARS and now it’s under these circumstances which ugh BUT I AM STILL HYPED. THEY GOT TO SAY IT AGAIN. GOOD. FUCKING GOOD.

“don’t make me come looking for you” danny says after he sits back down and without another word steve starts walking away and then he stops and looks back and catches danny looking over his shoulder but quickly looking away again and holy fucking damn if this isn’t how stories go when they try to tell us that two characters shouldn’t be parting because they don’t want to. turn around, steve. it’s so easy.

EDDIE. my gosh, ANOTHER blond guy who loves steve to pieces and who steve Should Not Just Leave, wtf.

eddie gets an i love you too and then a kiss and my heart! is having a hard time today!

oh LORD there’s a knock at the door and it’s the whole entire team and lou!!! is making me cry!!! and everyone whispers how much steve means to them at him while they’re hugging him and fjdkfd what. why is he leaving! it’s starting to sound like a worse decision by the second.

i could cry at all of these goodbyes seperately but right now i am also crying at tani immediately hugging noelani when she joins the pile of people who have said goodbye. ohhhh.

EVERYONE IS CRYING. not cool. VERY UNCOOL. also, honestly, i love that danny got to say goodbye seperately and it’s fitting that he just can’t watch steve actually walk out the door but also... he should have been here, gdi. now there’s this huge emotional team moment and he’s absent and it’s weird.

steve boards a plane and sits down and his phone beeps and it’s danny texting him “miss you already” and i cannot believe this is actual canon and had to pause to kind of laugh/gasp for air for a little bit.

and catherine shows up! i’ve been braced for this so i’m not surprised and it’s less bad than i thought in many ways but also. they talk about cath driving danny’s car and steve says they can’t have danny williams driving his own car and if that’s true, then why the hell are you leaving, steve. what are you doing to danny? (also. uh. danny’s car kind of went up in flames? he has a new one already? i. what.)

cath asks if steve is ready and they hold hands and steve turns to look out the plane window and smiles and that’s very suddenly it.

you know what? you know what, for the most part, i absolutely loved this. i was prepared for VERY BAD THINGS and i don’t enjoy steve leaving at the end at all and i have MANY NOTES on how things could have maybe ended even better but i. i am okay with this. i am okay with this! that is honestly more than i thought i would be able to say and i’m just VERY RELIEVED right now.

as for the show ending with steve and cath... that was weird, but... he also held danny’s hand this episode and that was supposedly platonic, and steve and cath did not suddenly have a big romantic kiss or get engaged, so i am choosing to take this as a platonic reunion with a person from steve’s past he still cares about, someone who travels a lot and was in hawaii to break that code and therefore this makes sense. he leaves with cath, and then, in a few weeks’ time, he comes back to danny (the person he cares about most in the world), and canon just, y’know, forgot to mention that little tidbit. it happens.

anyway, i had EMOTIONS and i still need to let all of this sink in and i hope you’re all doing okay after this whirlwind of a thing and ahhhh, it is so very weird that it’s over now. 💖

[tempesrature]

IDOL | Chapter 2

Platinum x Ride or Die (AU) Crossover

Pairings: (Major) Ride or Die | Logan x Ellie (Minor) Platinum | M!Raleigh x Cadence Warnings: PG13+ A/N: To people who actually know something about music and the discipline...please forgive me if I got anything wrong lol. 

@troublemakerinspace @raleiighcarrera @harrys-wheezys @choicesarehard

Ellie nervously taps her feet on the car, earphones plugged into her ear as she hums out a melody she’s trying to work out into a song. She glances at Mona driving the car before she looks back at the time on her phone.

Ten more minutes and they’ll arrive at the recording studio to record the new single with Logan. Ten more minutes until she meets the man she—according to Raleigh—hit it and quitted it.

Is she nervous? Definitely. But she tries to withdraw to herself and focus on what she’s supposed to be doing—her job as a singer and being professional. Plus, she made ground rules for herself. Don’t talk about that night and focus on recording the song. Depending on the song waiting for her to sing, they should be done in two to three hours. Short enough for her to avoid any real conversation about anything that went on between them. So in theory, nothing wrong should happen.

“Ellie.”

Ellie looks to Mona and pulls out one earbud from her ear. “What’s up?”

“You need to pose for pictures after recording,” Mona turns the wheel and turns a corner. “We need to post it on Pictagram as a teaser.”

Ellie blinks, her heart rate shooting up.

So…maybe something wrong might just be happening.

“And…that’s a good idea?” Ellie starts hesitatingly. “I mean with what happened after the party you’d think that would be a bad idea right?”

“This is a good way for people to start talking about the song,” Mona says as she pulls into the studio’s parking lot. “Good press, hashtags trending, stans speculating, etc.”

“Yeah for him,” Ellie huffs as she pulls open the car door open and puts on her sunglasses. “I’ll be crucified by the stake!”

Mona pauses mid-open of the front door and looks at Ellie amusingly. “You realize that’s not how it goes, right?”

“Whatever Mona!” Ellie complains as they make their way down the purple neon-lit hallways towards the recording booth. “You know what I meant. This won’t end well for me. Why am I being put on—Micah hey!”

“El!” Micah shoots out of his chair and excitedly pulls Ellie into a tight hug. “Ready to record this song with Mr. Flavor of the Month?”

Ellie groans as she flops to the couch. “Not you too Micah. I thought you’d be on my side on this.”

“Hey, I am El!” Micah cackles as he slides back into his seat and swivels it to face her. “But you gotta admit, the pictures weren’t great. I like the Colt pics more, better lighting.”

“Micah. I’m leaving her with you,” Mona says and Micah replies with a mock salute just as she presses the phone to her ear and walks out of recording booth.

Ellie sighs as she takes off her sunglasses and throws it on the table in front of her, her demeanor changing and her mind fully focusing on her task. She already told herself that she wouldn’t let what happened between her and Logan affect her work. Although she isn't really a fan of his work, she doesn’t want to be accused of purposely bombing the song or act aloof and unprofessional when he arrives. That’s how ‘diva’ rumors start.

“Do you have the instrumental and parts for me?”

Ellie reaches over to Micah who hands her the lyric sheet for the song. Her eyes flick to the title of the song ‘Candy’ before she scans the lyrics of the song. The storyline is simple enough. It’s a guy who’s crushing on a girl that’s picky with the guys she dates. The guy compares himself to candy and how the different flavors compliments her perfectly. There’s a push and pull to the lyrics, as if the girl already knows that she likes the guy but she’s hesitant to fall for his charms. Ellie’s lips quirk in a small smile at how…playful the lyrics seem to be. Completely different from Logan’s discography of heartbreak pining that makes her cringe sometimes (although she’d never admit it to him personally).

The soft start of the synth fills the room and Ellie’s ears immediately pick up the sound and her eyes light up.

“Woah, wait. Is that the song?” Ellis listens carefully as she rhythmically taps her feet on the on the carpeted floor. “No way. The song’s an R&B pop?”

Micah grins as he adjusts the volume of the song. “Yeah, surprised me too. I thought I’d have to mix another whiny pop song.”

Ellie grins as she continues to sway to the music and silently hum the lyrics she’s partially memorized now. She likes the song more than she thought she would. When Mona first brought up the collab idea, she was really hesitant. Ellie didn’t really know if their musical tastes and genres could fit each other well enough to work together. But just as Cadence and Raleigh had been mentors to her, she vowed to help the newer artists make their way into the entertainment industry as best as she could.  Now, she’s actually glad that she took up the project. She can already tell that the song will be a total hit.

“Let me hear the guide, do you have it?” Ellie stands from the couch to stand next to Micah. He pushes some buttons and the Ellie has to bite back the utter awe when she hears Logan’s voice and she’s once again reminded of why Logan shot to fame so quickly. He has a raspy and light lyric tenor voice with a bright and resonant mixed voice that can reach up to a F5 falsetto, the kind of voice that would suite a powerful and pining love song but agile enough that it can transition to more pop and R&B songs.

“Damn. He really does have a great voice.”

“Wow thanks, that means a lot coming from you.”

Ellie’s eyes widen as she turns around and faces Logan. He comes in with a big grin, his long brown locks swept back a little, and she can’t help but be reminded of the night and the pictures. It’s difficult not to ogle, to stare at how truly handsome he really is in the dim light, and she kind of understands her drunk self now. Drunk-Ellie might make dumb decisions but she sure does know how to pick out the handsome ones.

“Logan! About time man,” Micah greets as stands from his chair and gives Logan a hug and a fist bump.

Micah’s voice brings her out of her thoughts and she quickly reminds herself that she needs to be professional. Which means no staring, no thinking of that night and definitely no ogling so she plasters on a pleasant smile as she walks towards him and offers her hand.

“Logan, nice to meet you. I’m Ellie,” She internally cringes at herself. Of course he knows who she is. He’s here for a collab after all and they were already well acquainted a week before. She didn’t need to introduce herself and she didn’t need to make it so obvious that she was intentionally setting up a clean slate for them to work on.

But Logan doesn’t take notice of it and takes her hand with smile. “Thanks for taking on this project Ellie. I really appreciate it.”

Micah's eyes bounce between them and he lets out a small snicker before he makes his way back to the mixing console. Ellie internally sends Micah a threat of bodily harm for purposely leaving her with Logan knowing full well that it’s going to be awkward. But the slight flutter of the paper in her hand reminds her that she has a song to record and she can use that as a way to worm herself out of this awkwardness.

“Uh should we practice with our parts?”

Logan blinks, his long lashes almost touching his cheeks, before he breaks out in a wide grin. “Yeah let’s do that. Want to do it in the booth?”

No. Absolutely not. Ellie does not want to do it in the vocal booth. An enclosed space where sound gets muffled and Micah can see everything happening from the other side? A terrible idea for her and her beating heart and crumbling resolve to not ogle at the guy in front of her.

But how else is she going to turn down his offer?

“Sure,” Ellie shrugs, trying to sound nonchalant but her voice comes out a little too squeaky for her own liking.

Logan grins as he moves to the door and pushes it open. “After you then.”

Ellie glares at the double thumbs up Micah sends her in her peripheral view and she quickly replies with an annoyed thumbs down before she enters the solitary and quiet space of the vocal booth. She takes the seat on one of the chairs and Logan drags one to place in front of her. He swings his legs over it and folds his arms on the back of the chair as he perches his chin on top of his arm to look at her.

Ellie immediately curses the musical gods at how they could create a guy so dastardly handsome with a golden voice and drop him in front of her.

“So,” Logan starts with a grin. “Did you get home okay?”

Ellie can’t help the blush that spreads on her cheeks as her lips pull into a frown. “You couldn’t just leave it alone?”

Logan shrugs with an honest smile. “I’m not really a subtle guy and I want to make sure you were okay. I didn’t get your number either so I couldn’t text you,” He lifts his chin off of his arm and he observes her quietly. “We didn’t have sex by the way.”

“We didn’t?!” Ellie practically shouts before she clamps her mouth shut.

Logan raises an amused eyebrow. “Of course. You think I’m the type of guy who’d take advantage of a drunk girl? I said I’d sleep on the couch but you insisted that it was my bed so I should sleep there. Then you started to strip,” He grins. “Luckily, we were able to reach a compromise on the underwear staying on.”

Ellie can’t keep the grimace away from her face as the mental image comes to her. It pains her to admit that Drunk-Ellie would definitely do those things in those exact same sequence of events.

She drops her head in her hands and groans. “God, I’m so sorry. I’m not usually like that, I swear.”

Logan chuckles, his voice light and teasing. “So you’ve said last night. You’re a really nice drunk though. Kept on insisting that you would make this song a guaranteed hit. That’s why you wanted to come home with me actually, “so we can practice” you said.”

Ellie chuckles ruefully before she lifts her head to look at him apologetically. Then, the image of him shirtless on the bed suddenly comes to her and she narrows her eyes suspiciously at him.

“If we didn’t…why were you shirtless?”

“Oh that?” Logan laughs a little as he rubs the back of his neck and looks away from her. “Uh, the lipstick was gonna leave a bad stain. Thought I’d put it in the wash first so my stylist wouldn’t kill me.”

“Oh my god,” Ellie covers her mouth with the lyric sheet in her hand in shocked guilt. “I’m so sorry. I’ll pay for it, send me the invoice. Along with the glass that I broke and the carpet I probably ruined.”

“Nah, it’s already taken care for,” Logan grins as he looks back at her. “And you didn’t leave that much of a damage. You’re fine, Ellie.”

She stares at him and a grateful smile tugs at her lips. Although she didn’t want to admit it, she’s already heard a lot about Logan from the staff and from what she picks up from time to time on the internet. Not that she heard anything bad about him other than his secret of hobby of racing cars but she’s still pretty apprehensive with the bad boy image that the company seems to be pushing on him.

She knows that an image of an artist can be fabricated to cater to the fans (and sometimes the general public) but a little of that image usually stems from the artists’ real personality. After all, it’s difficult to always keep up an image and the real person behind the music is bound to slip out. And she’s had enough of her fill of “bad boys”.

“Okay but let me pay for the shirt. I insist.”

Logan grins brilliantly and she has to internally scold her heart for reacting.

“Sure. Can your card handle it though? It was a Valentino.”

She smiles playfully as she leans forward and whispers, “I’ll put it down as a company expense, don’t worry.”

Logan lets out an amused laugh. “You can do that?”

“Oh yeah, Raleigh taught me that little trick,” She says just as she suddenly feels a little shy under his soft and warm gaze. “In fact, I can uhm…teach you a lot of stuff about the industry. Just to help you get by, you know? Have a friend and all that. I mean that’s what Cadence did for me. Raleigh too but he’s an awful teacher.”

She’s fairly aware that she’s rambling but she can’t seem to stop herself around him. Perhaps that’s why Drunk-Ellie was so adamant on kissing him. Even Sober-Ellie wants to do it and there has never been a time in Ellie Wheeler’s life where Drunk-Ellie and Sober-Ellie has made a unanimous decision on anything other than wanting to kiss Logan.

Logan smiles teasingly as bumps his knee against hers. “You’re a troublemaker aren’t you?”

Ellie blinks a little and a smile tugs on her lips. “Only if I have to be.”

They exchange a small laugh as the atmosphere around them starts to mellow out. The awkwardness and apprehension Ellie felt immediately disappears in an instant and she’s surprised at how easy and comfortable it is to be around him.

“Uh anyway,” She says as she raises the lyric sheet in her hand. “Let’s practice?”

“Sure. Think we can share though? I left my sheet with Micah.”

Oh fuck. The close proximity of him to her is not going to do her heart any favors. But it’s not like she can say no to him. What would she even say? ‘Sorry but you’re too hot and any closer I’ll catch fire?’, like hell she’ll say that to him.

“Yeah, that’s fine,” She says as she moves her chair next to him and she can already catch the smell of something floral and woodsy. She tries her best not to comment on how much she loves it.

“Thanks Ellie,” He looks at her with an encouraging smile as he pulls out his phone and waits for her cue so he can start the instrumentals. “Let’s start.”

Ellie nods and she warms up her voice by briefly running through some vocal warmups before she gives him a nod. She keeps in time with the intro of the arpeggio chords before she starts the beginning of the song.

Candy, candy, candy Aye, yeah, yeah, yeah Aye, yeah, yeah, yeah Candy, candy

Honey are you still wondering? Right, you are careful picking out sugar, spice I respect that appetite, yeah

“Shit,” Logan says in awe as he pauses the music. “I knew your voice would be perfect when I wrote this but I didn’t expect it to sound this good.”

Ellie pauses and looks at him in shock. “You wrote this?”

“Yeah, you think I don’t write my own songs?” He tries to laugh it off but Ellie could hear the slight hurt in his voice.

“No I didn’t mean it that way. I just thought…I mean the genre is so different from what you usually release. I thought Ellis might be pushing this on to you or something, sorry.”

Logan chuckles as he places his hand on his heart in mock hurt. “I take it that you aren’t a fan of the heartbroken bad boy pining songs I’m known for?”

Ellie wants to lie but the honest response of his question is probably written on her face.

“Sorry. They’re very sad though, I’ll give you that.”

Logan laughs. “They better be! The producers of those songs practically told me to cry in the booth if I have to.”

“They did not!”

“Oh they did,” Logan grins at her. “It’s ridiculous right? The things they’ll tell us to do to get the sound they want.”

“It comes with the territory unfortunately,” She laughs as she nudges his shoulder playfully. “When I was recording ‘Easy’ I was supposed to act sad and heartbroken. But I didn’t want the song to be that way. I wanted it to show a side that was playful and strong.”

“Yeah?” Logan grins and he looks at her with awe. “Bet they liked that.”

“Oh they loved it,” She says sarcastically before she giggles. “But when it placed fifth in the top 100’s and had 40 million views in PlayMe, I didn’t hear a peep from them ever again.”

Logan chuckles. “Troublemaker.”

Ellie grins. “Guess it’s just part of my brand now.”

“Funny enough, I didn’t become a fan of you because of Easy.”

Ellie looks at him curiously, their faces close enough that she can see his eyelashes touch his eyelids every time he blinked. After she collaborated with Cadence Dorian, which caused the initial push for her success, everyone was waiting for what type of song and image direction she was going to take. When she dropped ‘Easy’ as her first solo single, a groovy alt R&B single with a music video packed with soft and pastel neon lights, it was a guaranteed hit and so many of her fans credit ‘Easy’ as the reason to why they became her fans in the first place.

“So what made you a hardcore Ellie Wheeler stan then?”

Logan smiles as he plucks the sheet lyrics from her hand. “Flower.”

Ellie’s eyes widen and somewhere in her heart tugs at the mention of that single. She had released it shortly after her mother died as a dedication to the love and life her mother left behind. It’s the one song Ellie absolutely loves and absolutely hates at the same time. She loves it because it’s the most honest and raw she’s ever been as an artist but hates it because so many of her worst critics and haters dragged her through the mud for “capitalizing” on the death of her mother by promoting the song. As if she wasn’t allowed to express and work through her grief on her own terms.

“Thanks,” She replies but she can’t keep the forlorn and melancholy tone out from her voice. “It’s a nice song.”

“It’s more than nice,” Logan refutes. “I mean those runs in G5 falsettos? And I can feel the emotions you were putting into the lyrics. You got me hooked from that song alone.”

Elli goes red at the compliments that flow so easily out of him. No wonder so many people love him. He makes every word that comes out of his mouth sound genuine and honest. Ellie realizes he really wasn’t lying when he said that he wasn’t a subtle guy.

“Yeah, I really love that song,” She confesses honestly as she plays with the edges of her shirt. “My mother...is the one that taught me to sing. I thought it would be nice to honor her memory through a song.”

Logan smiles softly. “That’s why I love you.”

They freeze, the meaning behind his words hanging between them, and Ellie looks at him in disbelief and shock and Logan fumbles through his explanation as he looks at her nervously.

“I mean uhm as an artist to an artist, you know? I mean as a fan too. I’m a huge fan! That’s why I love you—as a fan. Nothing more. Just a fan.”

Ellie searches his nervous and panicky brown eyes as he settles his eyes everywhere but her face. She wants to dig in more to his words but she hardly knows him enough to know if he’s lying or not. And it’s not like they’re close enough for her to actually start asking him questions about it.

“Alright you two! Let’s get to recording!”

Micah’s booming voice in the vocal booth cuts through the awkwardness that settled between them. Ellie quickly stands to her feet and look towards the glass barrier and tries to hide away the blush on her face.

“Right! We’re—I mean I’m ready Micah!” She turns to Logan and holds her hand out. “The uhm lyric sheet. I need to record the song, I mean my parts. Not the whole song. This is a collaboration after all. That’s why I’m here and all that.”

She internally cringes at herself when she realizes that she has the social and conversational grace of a Raleigh Carrera after 4 glasses of tequila.

Logan laughs a little as he stands from the seat and hands the paper to her, his eyes burning in a passion and determination that pulls her in. “Let’s make this a hit Ellie.”

Ellie’s eyes widen as she gives him a reassuring and determined nod before she takes the sheet from his hand. “You can count on me Logan.”

[kimnjss]

[ hickeys— ]

NAMJOON

namjoon would have been nervous about their performance in japan. he would ask jungkook to help him perfect a routine that he had been struggling with.

the two would meet up after dinner where jungkook would immediately start teaching his hyung what he needed to know.

you sat in the corner of the room, a smile on your face as you watched your boyfriend learn from the maknae.

joon would do his best to follow the moves that jungkook was laying out for him. he was moving so much and so fast that the hood covering his head slid off.

which didn’t seem like all that big of a deal— until jungkook was moving to stand behind namjoon, hands adjusting his posture.

“hyung? what’s all over your neck?” he’d ask in confusion, the tip of his finger pressing against the bruise.

your eyes would widen in realization as namjoon would flinch away hand going up to cover his neck.

jungkook would smirk, “are those hickeys?” he’d grin.

“what? no!” you’d deny, creating an even more suspicious situation for the two of you. “i’m not dumb!” jungkook would retort.

he’d take another look at the older boy’s neck. “wow. y/n, you’re ruthless.” he’d comment with a laugh.

your cheeks would turn red as you proceeded to cover your face but not before seeing namjoon (playfully) shove jungkook back.

“of course she is, you should see how worked up i can get her.” he’d smirk, nodding his head in your direction.

JIN

the boys would be hanging out in the living room. you’d be upstairs taking a nap, waking up to the sounds of their laughter.

throwing one of jin’s t-shirt’s and a pair of shorts on, you’d make your way down the stairs.

joon, hobi and tae sat scattered in the living room along with your boyfriend-- seokjin.

you’d grin when you saw him, easily sinking into the vacant space on his lap. he’d be quick with wrapping arms around you.

“what are we talking about?” you’d wonder, leaning back into his chest.

“how jealous your boyfriend is.” joon would answer quickly with a smirk.

jin would be quick to answer, “i’m not a jealous person, really!”

“...well you did yell at the delivery man the other day.” you reminded him.

“he was flirting with you right in front of my face!” jin would defend himself at the same time, hobi is leaning closer examining your neck.

“you even marked your territory! what? you want to make sure everyone knows she’s spoken for?”  he’d laugh, pointing a finger toward your bruises.

your face would instantly flush as the other boys leaned in to see.

“ahh, noona, you shouldn’t let his mouth near you.” tae would laugh, silently counting how many marks you had.

your hands would be quick to cover your neck, leaning back into jin’s chest. “stop staring at them!”

“hickeys don’t make you jealous, you should see the ones she leaves on me.”

jin would speak proudly, earning a nudge in the chest from you.

the boys would quickly star to wonder out loud about the hickeys you had left on jin, insisting that he showed them.

YOONGI

“why is #vampireyoongi trending?” yoongi’s attention would be brought by the mention of his name.

“what?” he’d set down the text book he had been flipping through, his eyebrow arched.

your fingers would tap against the screen until you found the hashtag again.

“#vampireyoongi is trending worldwide.” you repeated, this time clicking on the words.

at first it was just a bunch of obvious bts stans weighing in their thoughts on the hashtag ‘wbk yoongi was a vampire.’

you couldn’t help but laugh at these tweets, still confused at why they were even happening.

“apparently you’re a vampire.” you moved to sit beside him, showing him the words on the screen.

as you’d scroll down the screen a very recent picture of you would pop up.

it was at least three days ago. you were on your way back from hobi’s house where you spent the night with yoongi.

for whatever reason, yoongi wasn’t able to keep his hands off you, especially after hobi fell asleep which resulted in the array of hickeys on your neck.

they were so clear in the picture. there were so many of them!

a particular post caught your eye, a close up picture with your neck on full display. a fansite had reposted it with the caption:

“pray for our girl, y/n... she’s on some bella from twilight shit.” you couldn’t help but crack up laughing.

you kept scrolling, most posts making light of the situation.

yoongi would read over your shoulder, laughing and joking along with you.

HOSEOK

you’d squirm underneath him, his hands palming your hips as he held your body against his.

his mouth would work over yours easily, you doing your best to match his intensity.

it felt like years since you last felt hobi’s lips on yours. in reality it had only been a week-- but even that was too long.

you missed him.

“it’s just me and you tonight.” he’d remind with a grin, his hand moving up to cup the side of your face.

you’d smile brightly, leaning up to press your lips against his gently. “i love that.”

hobi would move his head down to bury his face in the crook of your neck, both of his arms wrapping around your waist.

“i missed yo so much,” he’d grumble, his mouth opening to pull a bit of your skin in.

your potential sentence was stolen by a moan, your teeth quickly catching your lip.

without lifting his head, hobi would bring his hand to your chin using his thumb to pull your lip from between your teeth.

he’d quickly resume his assault on your neck. kissing, licking, sucking, biting at the flesh.

moans would fall freely from your parted lips, the sound of the front door opening being drown out by your voice.

his hand would find the zipper of your sweater, tugging it down as his mouth landed on your chest.

your hands would ruffle and tug at his soft strands of hair, head tilted back to allow most access.

“hyung, jimin wants too--” tae’s voice was heard before he was entering the room. not leaving enough time for you two to pull apart.

his stutter was heard next as he scrambled out of the room. “oh, crap... shit. s-sorry.” he’d mumble as he shuffled out of the room.

hobi would study your expression, looking for any signs of you wanting to stop. seeing the look on your face he’d be quick with covering your mouth with his once again.

JIMIN

jimin and his best friends had left hours earlier to play basketball at the court not too far from the house.

in the time they were gone you were able to take a bath, moisturize, paint your nails and even start your favorite movie.

just as you began to doze off, the front door would slam open, heavy footsteps heading in your direction.

both tae and jungkook laughed loudly between each other as they reached you.

“why don’t you ask you?” tae spoke once he was close enough.

jungkook would shoot a knowing look in his direction before plopping down on the couch.

“ask me what?” jimin would walk in a moment later, hair wet with sweat. he’d have the shirt he had worn out slung over his shoulder.

you’d smile as he’d lean over the back of the couch to press his lips against yours.

“ask me what?” you’d repeat once jimin pulled away.

“they’re being childish, ignore them.” jimin would warn you. you’d urge the boys with a look. jungkook being the first to speak up. “tae wanted to know if--”

tae would be quick with cutting him off. “hey! it wasn’t just me.” he’d defend.

“i’m confused...” you’d glance back at your boyfriend who’d simply roll his eyes.

“they saw the hickeys on my thigh and have some twisted theory that--”

tae jumped up quickly, shushing his hyung. “come on, it’s embarrassing now!” he pleaded.

“how’d you guys... why’d you show them?”

jimin rolled his eyes at your words. “no idea, just felt the urge to flash my dick... whoops.” you could sense his sarcasm.

there was nothing innocent about the hickeys you’d left against his skin-- especially not the placement.

the strength of his thighs always managed to turn you on, you couldn’t help but put your mouth on them as you jerked him off.

and it was obvious the other guys knew too.

TAEHYUNG

with a strong hand around your neck, tae would press his mouth against yours. applying just the right amount of pressure to to your throat making you moan.

his tongue would explore the inside of your mouth as you tried to keep up, hands grasping at his forearms.

“oh, come on! get a room!” the annoyed shout would come from yoongi.

tae would pull back only for a moment to flick him off before turning back to your mouth.

“we’re going to be late.” hobi would remind with an exaggerated groan.

tae would take his time with pulling back from your mouth, grinning as he took in the dazed look on your face. “you’re so into me.” he’d give you a cocky smirk.

“shut up.” you’d roll your eyes, punching at his chest. he laughed watching as you began to step back. “call me when you miss me?”

“i should just call you now then,” he’d flirt and you’d blush.

he’d wait until you were out of sight before ducking into the front seat of joon’s car.

“you guys are actually gross.” he’d comment as he pulled off onto the road.

tae would ignore the comment, tapping the tips of his fingers against his knee.

“holy shit look at your neck!” jin would exclaim from the back seat, poking at the bruises covering tae’s skin.

“she’s my girl. what do you expect?” he’d retort with a smirk, tilting his head toward the mirror to admire your work.

JUNGKOOK

you and jungkook would be cuddling in the living room watching the office with his friends, hobi and joon.

jungkook would have his arms wrapped around your waist, head tilted back a bit as you snuggled close.

joon and hobi had been having their own side conversation that the two of you paid very little attention to.

it wasn’t until hobi was addressing you did you realize that their conversation was about you two.

“alright, i’m just going to ask.. what’s with the turtlenecks man?” you took a moment to look back at the black turtleneck covering your boyfriend’s torso.

“what do you mean?” his cheeks and the top of his ears were turning pink.

“you’ve been wearing them for days. not to mention that it’s seventy degrees outside.” joon chimes in.

“so? i like turtlenecks.” jungkook shrugged, trying to play it cool.

“we have reason to believe you’re hiding something.”

you’d decide to jump in and save him-- this was your fault to begin with. “i’m sure he’s not. he likes what he likes.” you tired.

hobi and joon shared one of their silent conversations before boy boys were springing up and tackling jungkook-- surprisingly missing you.

joon held him as hobi pulled the collar of his shirt down. the purplish bruises on his neck were on full display.

“knew it.” joon confirmed, taking a step back from kookie. “you owe me five bucks.”

you couldn’t help the laugh that left your lips. “you guys bet on what he was hiding?” hobi would nod, fishing in his pockets for his wallet. “i guessed he cut himself shaving-- didn’t expect our little one to have hickeys.”

“our little guy is growing up,” namjoon would feign sadness, wiping an imaginary tear.

jungkook would roll his eyes a smirk settling on his lips. “just ask her, i’m not little.”

m.list

[writer-k-pop]

Visuals

너는 원벽헤. You’re perfect.

Description: San has always had insecurities with his appearance but they haven’t been bad until a public incident causes him to fall back a few steps. Warnings: None Genre: Angst Word Count: 2.1k

Ateez Masterlist | Masterlists

For three days, it’s been all over the news. There is no way any one can escape it. Not even the company could stop the spread of it.

Scrolling past yet another article reporting that Netizens are upset and demanding legal action and spreading a hashtag to keep his hopes up. I haven’t watched it yet. Not trusting myself to control myself during the day but I’m home now. Tucked in bed. Able to block out the entire world with the press of a button.

“Screw this,” I think to myself, “I’m going to watch it and then go straight to bed.”

I scroll back up, find the last article I saw about it, and tap the video attached to the article. Turning up the volume, I brace myself for what may come next.

At first, it’s just them attempting to get through a crowd and a bunch of camera clicks going off. Reporters yelling for them to look this way and that. I spot San immediately with his faed red highlights shining against his natural hair. He’s wearing the coat we spent hours searching for a couple months ago. The memory of running around to different stores to find the perfect one brings a smile to my face.

But a female’s voice wipes the smile away in seconds.

“San! Why does your face look like that?”

“Did you even put make up on today?”

San’s gaze becomes glued to the floor.

“Look at the other members, why can’t you keep up?”

I watch the screen with sadness and anger as Hongjoong pushes forward through the crowd, Seonghwa wraps his arm around San’s shoulder while Mingi and Yunho use their height to block any line of sight to San. At the rear of the group, Jongho and Yeosang flank a furious looking Wooyoung.

The video ends.

I slam my phone down on the bed and throw an arm over my eyes.

“How could anyone be that cruel to any human being? Especially to San. This boy has been through so much I just-“ My thoughts are interrupted by a text.

“Have you seen the video?” Seonghwa asks.

“Why do you ask?” I send back.

“Because I think you need to watch it.” Seonghwa replies quickly. “I think you need to know what’s going on there to help with what’s going on here.”

“What’s going on there?” I ask, sitting up in bed, ready to run out of the house if needed.

“We can’t really do anything tonight but Yunho told me he covered up the mirrors in their room.” Seonghwa answers. “I don’t know the details of what happened in the past but I thought you should know. We can try to talk to him but again, I think it’d be best coming from you. Please watch it.”

“I’ve seen it.” I tell him, “I just watched it and I’m pissed.”

“We all are.” Seonghwa agrees, “Wooyoung was ready to rip off the head of Lucifer himself.”

“Has San said or done anything?” I ask, needing the clarification.

“He’s had a few degrading comments but he’s trying to hide most of it. Come over tomorrow? We have the day off while the company tries to deal with most of it.” He informs me.

“Yeah, I’ll be over.” I tell him and move to my chat with San.

“I love you, my amazingly handsome prince San.” I add a couple kissy emojis before hitting send.

San replies with two kissy emojis.

Sighing, I shut my phone off and snuggle back under the blankets. Tomorrow then.

———————————————————————————————————

“Am I too early?” I ask myself as I stand in front of the elevators. Checking my phone, it reads 10:03 am. “It shouldn’t be too early?”

I texted Seonghwa and he knows I’m coming.

The elevator doors open and I step into the silent, empty space. Clicking the right floor, I feel gravity pushing against me as I’m transported to their floor.

I knock on their door and not five seconds later, Seonghwa opens the door with damp hair and a towel in hand.

“Am I too early?” I ask softly, knowing that he’s usually the first one up.

He shakes his head as Hongjoong appears, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Oh, (y/n).” He greets when he sees me. “Good morning.”

“Good morning, Hongjoong.” I smile at him, “Ah, I should’ve brought breakfast.”

Seonghwa shakes his head, “It’s okay, I went shopping last night so we have plenty of food.”

“Is San still sleeping?” I ask, cutting right to the chase, as Seonghwa retreats down the hallway.

Hongjoong nods, “Yunho is awake but I’m pretty sure San’s still out cold.”

Walking to San and Yunho’s room, Yunho comes out of the bathroom. With a silent nod of understanding, he walks away the way I came, leaving the room to San and I.

I quietly sneak into the room and look around. Seonghwa was right. The two floor length mirrors are covered with dark blankets and the couple makeup mirrors on their desks are turned towards the wall.

I walk over to San who’s holding onto Shiba for dear life. Sitting down on the bed, I study his face. The way his hair falls over his smooth skin. His eyelashes fan out beautifully over his cheeks. With lips like his, it’s hard to remember that he has a nose perfect for landing kisses on. And knowing those lips hide the prettiest smile known to man kind makes me smile.

Playing with his hair, I wonder how anyone could be so mean to a pure soul like San.

San groans and slowly blinks his eyes open.

“Good morning, Sannie.” I say softly, watching his eyes quickly find me. Ditching Shiba, he wraps me in a hug and pulls me down onto the bed with him.

“Good morning.” He says, snuggling his nose into my neck.

“How are you doing?” I ask, intertwining our hands.

“I’m doing okay. We have the day off so I’m quite happy I can sleep in.” San replies, still half asleep. “How are you?”

“I’m okay.” I answer, quickly thinking of a way to divert the conversation back to him. I know that it’s not healthy to leave an issue alone until it boils over, especially with San. “I’m thinking of doing something to my hair again. But I don’t know if I want to dye it or cut it?”

San pulls back and looks at my hair while running a hand through it. “Leave it, I like yours like it is. Mine on the other hand is starting to fade. I liked the red.”

“Have you seen it? It hasn’t faded too much.” I ask, slowly pushing.

“Not recently.” San answers and rolls onto his back.

“Why not?” I ask.

Silence.

“San?” I look over at him. His eyes are closed and his jaw his clenched. “San, are you okay?”

San opens his eyes but refuses to look at me, instead staring straight up at the ceiling.

“You know you can tell me anything.” I turn on my side to face him. “You know I’m always right here no matter what. No matter what anyone says.”

“So you saw it then?” San asks after a few deep breaths.

I nod silently.

“I keep telling the guys I’m fine.” San insists, still not looking at me, “Sure, it bugged me for a day or so but I’m fine, negative words like that don’t affect me anymore.”

“San-”

“And I’ve read all the comments under the hashtag,” San cuts me off in a rush, “I agree with most of them. If that girl were a real ATINY, she wouldn’t say those things. She’s not a real fan, so her words shouldn’t affect me.”

“Hey, Sa-”

“Those words mean nothing.” San keeps going, his voice starting to shake. “Nothing. Physical appearances are strictly superficial. Who even sets the standards of beauty? And who is she to judge my appearance? No, she’s a nobody who has no real power to make those judgements about me.” He sits up in bed and I follow suit.

“San, just cause she has no power doesn’t mean her words didn’t hur-“

“(Y/n), I said I’m fine.” He says, sniffling, “I’m fine.”

“Look around your room, San, and then look me in the eyes and tell me that you’re fine.” I tell him, angry that this girl made him feel the need to cover up his troubles from me of all people.

San slowly looks around the room and I watch as his eyes linger on the mirrors he’s turned and covered.

“I’m-“ His voice cracks and my eyes follow the single tear that falls from his eyes.

Now it’s my turn to wrap him in my arms and hold him.

“You’re right, she doesn’t hold any power to place any judgement on anyone else.” I tell him while he silently cries into my shoulder, “But it doesn’t make it hurt any less. Sannie, it’s okay to fall back. It’s okay to doubt every once in a while. It’s okay. But don’t hide it from me or from your other members.”

San’s arms wrap around my waist and he squeezes me tightly.

“Everything she said about you is false. It’s all bullcrap. I know it. Your members know it. Every true ATINY know it. We all know it.” I kiss the top of his head, “But you have to know it too.”

San nods but his tears continue to fall.

“You have amazing visuals.” I begin to list off his ridiculously attractive features. “Your makeup free face is a gift from the gods. What am I saying? You, yourself, are a gift from the gods. They wouldn’t give just anyone the perfect face with perfect proportions and perfect skin and perfect everything. Only a select few are blessed with it, and you are one of them.”

I feel San’s tears slow but he’s still sniffling.

“Out of all the members, you’re obviously the best looking one. Just ask your fans.” I finish, squeezing his shoulders.

“You’re obligated to say that.” San says with a tiny, tiny smile on his face.

“Am not!” I retort, “And even if I am, it’s still true. You saw the hashtag, you saw the comments under it. ATINY agree with me.”

“It still hurt.” San says, shoulders sagging a little. “We’ve dealt with a lot of negative comments but they were always on a screen, I’ve never had someone say them to me in person.”

“It will always hurt.” I tell him. “And as your group gains more and more attention, what happened a few days ago may happen more often. But next time, you won’t let it hurt as badly. You want to know why?”

“Why?” San asks.

“Because up here,” I tap his forehead, “you know you’re perfect. In here,” I tap his chest above his heart, “me and your members will make sure you feel perfect. And out there,” I point towards the window, “There are hundreds of thousands of ATINY willing to fight to protect you.”

San smiles and grabs my hands.

“You’re feeling better?” I ask, looking into his eyes.

He nods, “I am. So much better. Thank you.”

I smile, “Then put the mirrors back, they’re starting to look like people just standing in the corners of your room.”

San giggles and climbs out of bed. He turns the desk mirrors back around and moves to the bigger mirrors. Letting the blankets slink to the floor, he stares at his reflection.

I walk over and stand next to him. “What are you looking at?”

“You were right.” San presses his lips into a line while turning his head left and right.

“I usually am but about what this time?” I ask, thoroughly confused.

He runs a hand through his hair, “The red hasn’t faded as much as I thought.”

Just as I’m about to tell him off, his stomach grumbles in hunger. We laugh and begin the short walk to the kitchen.

“I’m not going to watch the video but I read that Wooyoung looked ready to kill someone.” San remarks with a smile as we reach the kitchen where Seonghwa is cooking.

“I was!” Wooyoung speaks up from the table, a fire ignited behind his eyes. “And I still am!”

I laugh, “You carry the body and I’ll dig the hole?” I joke.

“No one’s killing anyone.” Hongjoong says, appearing from the bathroom.

Seonghwa sets a platter of food on the table, “Until you’ve eaten some food.”

[calumance]

LA Devotee - Part XI

Warnings: cussing, the end get’s a little hot and heavy, no details, it’s a bit angsty

Word Count: 4.5k

Summary: Emily stays with Calum for a while, but soon returns to her own apartment, only to be met with the biggest challenge of dating someone famous. Calum receives some news, and drops a new bomb on Emily’s life.

A/N: Oof, okay. I rewrote this part many times, which is why it took me so long to update. 😂 I hope you all like it! Feedback and requests always welcomed!!! (want to be tagged? Let me know!)

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X

Masterlist

           I stayed at Calum’s until Tuesday, I would’ve stayed longer, but I ran out of clothes. Calum insisted on letting me use his washer and dryer, but I declined, telling him I needed to go home. He groaned into the crook of my neck pulling me closer to him before kissing me goodbye as I walked out the door to head to work. When I got home after work, I kicked my shoes off and went to my bedroom, which was still a mess from trying to find stuff to take to Calum’s. I picked up a little and found the hoodie Calum let me borrow the night we met. When I put my nose to it, it still smelled like him. So I changed into it and made my way to the couch. After spending four nights with him, it was weird to not be with him now.

           After turning on the tv, I pulled out my phone and started scrolling through some social media. As I was about to move onto the next platform, Mikayla started to call me. I held the phone to my ear, and without saying a word, she starts spewing her words, “Emily, where are you right now? Were you on twitter, please do not get on twitter. For the love of god, please stay off twitter.” My eyebrows stitched together and before I could get any words out, my phone starts beeping telling me I have another call coming in. This time it was Calum.

           I put my phone back to my ear, “Calum’s calling me, I’ll call you back.” As I pulled the phone away from my ear, all I could hear was her telling me to stay off twitter. My finger tapped to end Mikayla’s call and answer Calum’s. The speaker pressed to my ear, and a smile stretched across my face, “Hey there.” My back pressed against the back of the couch as my knees pulled toward my chest.

           “Emily, are you okay? Please tell me you’re okay. I’ll come right over if I need to.” My eyebrows pulled together again and my knees fell. I dropped my hand into my lap and my mouth formed into an ‘O’ trying to figure out what was happening.

           My heartbeat picked up and I managed to find some words in my throat, “I’m fine. What is happening? Why is everyone freaking out?” A creeping urge to check twitter suddenly nudges its way into my chest.

           Calum sighed into the phone, obviously exacerbated, “Listen, some pictures of us are circulating the internet, and not all the comments are nice. If you need me to say something, I definitely will, you are the most amazing person I’ve ever met.” His voice broke and I suddenly looked at my phone, my eyebrows pulling together so hard, my head started to hurt.

           With Calum still on the phone, I went to my home page and touched the twitter icon. I could hear Calum calling my name, I told him to hang on. That’s when I found it, a whole stream of pictures and a whole hashtag built around pictures of Calum and I walking around on Sunday afternoon. Not a single picture of us showed PDA, not even a hand hold. We always stayed a few feet away from each other, and Michael and his girlfriend were with us. For all anyone knew I was Crystal’s friend. Which, admittedly, we did hit it off, but that was the first time we met. I scrolled through the comments, the internet is not as dumb as I wish they were. Even though we never touched each other, the way Calum and I looked at each other gave everything away. None of the comments were exactly accepting of us, and they were not too thrilled with how I looked on Sunday. I scoffed, who are they to judge me based off twenty pictures of us? And for god’s sake, it was Sunday, I don’t try to look at all decent on the weekends. So, I started laughing, even if deep down it did hurt.

           I swallowed down the hurt and continued to laugh as I put the phone to my ear, “That’s all they’ve got? Shit, I might just kiss you the next time we’re in public to see what reaction we get.” The tears welled in my eyes and Calum fell silent. “Baby, I’ve been through way too much shit in my life to let negative comments from people who are not involved in our relationship bother me.” That was literally the opposite of how I actually felt. As much as I can put on a touch exterior, I could literally feel my self-esteem crushing under the weight of negative comments from thousands of people I didn’t know.

           Calum let out a half chuckle, half sigh, “You’re sure you’re okay? Do you want me to come over?” His voice sounded so caring that a tear escaped from my eye.

           My fingers swiped across my face as I cleared the tear off my face. “I’m fine. Hey, I’m going to head to bed. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?” My voice hitched in my throat and I swallowed it down before Calum could hear it. Of course I wanted him to come over, but after spending so much time with him, maybe asking him to come over was too clingy. From what I could tell, he wasn’t super convinced, but he said okay and we hung up. I played with my bottom lip before bringing up the message thread between Mikayla and me. “I should’ve stayed off twitter, and I just lied to Calum. Oh god, who am I?” Within just a few seconds, Mikayla called me, where I then cried to her on the phone for a half an hour. After I had composed myself, and shut off my phone, I curled into a ball on the couch and pulled Calum’s hoodie over my nose. As the scent of his cologne filled my nose, I closed my eyes, feeling like I was back in his arms, lulling me to sleep.

           It wasn’t a good sleep, which was alright because I definitely forgot to turn my phone back on. My eyes were nearly glued shut from the amount of tears that I shed before I fell asleep on my couch. As I sat up on my couch, I ran a hand through my hair. I blinked the sleep out of my eyes as I reached for my phone and turned it on. As my phone powered on, the picture Calum and I took over the weekend appeared on the screen. I closed my eyes and rubbed my hand across my forehead before typing out a message to him. “Good morning, sorry for texting you so early, slept like shit last night. I just wanted to text you and tell you that I hope you have a great day. Xx” The message sent and I set my phone on the couch as I went into the bathroom to take my morning shower.

           When I got out of the shower, I left my phone on the couch and walked straight to my room to get dressed. I decided to put a soft wave in my hair and put on a pair of flared, rose colored dress pants with a white satin button up tucked in with a pair of nude heels that were just tall enough that my pants didn’t drag on the ground. After I finished putting on my makeup, I made my way to my kitchen and started the coffee maker. My phone lit up on the couch, catching my attention. My heels clacked on the floor as I made my way over to the couch and picked up my phone, seeing Calum’s name sitting on my screen. “I can’t sleep for shit either. I miss you, have a great day at work. Xx Cal” A smile stretched across, my lips but faded when I remembered everything that I read last night. Instead of letting it bother me anymore than it has, I shake my head and make my coffee and leave my apartment.

           When I got to the office, I sat at my desk and sighed. Mikayla wheeled her chair out and held her coffee cup to her lips. “You look amazing, but the dark circles under your eyes tell me you didn’t sleep again. Are you sure you’re okay? Did you have Calum come over last night.” She sipped at her coffee making that annoying slurping noise.

           My eyes narrowed, and she immediately stopped, knowing that was one of those sounds that set me off. “No.” I said as I roughly tap the space bar on my keyboard to wake my computer up. “I felt like having him come over was clingy after spending so many nights with him.” After I logged into my computer, I leaned back in my chair and took a drink of my coffee and shrugged, “I just feel like it’s too early in our relationship to spend every night together.”

           Mikayla nodded, pouting her bottom lip in thought as she rocked in her chair. “Trevor and I spent the night together in the first month of being together.” My eyes shot towards her and narrowed in confusion. “I spent the night at his house after he asked me to be his girlfriend and it was like we got addicted to each other. After that night, either I slept at his house, or he slept at mine.” She raised her eyebrows and took a sip from her coffee again, “It was only a month later that we decided it would be easier to move in together.” She set her cup down on her desk and shrugged.

           My fingers adjusted on my mug, gripping it tighter as I thought about what she just said to me. It’s not that I hated the idea of moving in with him, especially since I had spent more time at his house than I have at my own apartment since we met. Thinking about living with him makes my stomach flip, and I run a hand through my hair to hide my flustered thoughts. I lick my lips and look at my keyboard before leaning forward as if Mikayla would hear me better, even though our desks were still too far apart for us to whisper. “Wouldn’t it be too early for us to move in together?” I wasn’t sure if I was asking her or myself.

           Mikayla shrugged, her eyes focused on her computer, “That’s up to you guys.” I jumped when she responded, proving that I was more asking myself than I was her. “There is no set amount of time that a couple should wait before living together, at least not in my mind. You just have to talk to him about that idea.” Mikayla took another drink of her coffee then started typing so furiously that I raised my eyebrows.

           I leaned back in my chair and then rolled the chair so that I could see her, “But how do you bring that up? ‘Hey, babe, I think we should move in together even though we’ve only been seeing each other for a month?’”

           Mikayla moved her eyes from side to side then finally landed on me. “Yeah, that’s exactly how you bring it up, actually.” He eyebrows furrowed and she lifted her fingers off her keyboard, “Why do you think everything in your guys’ relationship is so hard? Just let it happen. If you’re happy, then it shouldn’t be a big deal.” She raised her eyebrows matter-of-factly and went back to her work.

           Even though I went to her with every problem I had, I hated that she was right every time. I wheeled my chair back in front of my desk as I grabbed my phone. My nail tapped on the screen as I chewed on my bottom lip thinking about what I wanted to send to him. My phone vibrated in my hand making me jump half way out of my skin. It was almost as if he knew I was thinking about sending him a message, “What time do you usually have lunch? I wanted to stop by, need to tell you something. Xx Cal.”

           My throat worked and my stomach tightened, that didn’t sound very good. My fingers tapped away, “Around noon, is everything okay? If you want, you can meet me in the lobby, there’s a café down there that has some really good food.” The message sent and I stared at the screen as I waited for him to respond.

           The grey bubble appeared and I waited anxiously for his message. It disappeared and reappeared a few times before a message finally came through. “Everything’s fine, sunshine. I’ll see you in a few hours. Xx Cal.” I set my phone back on my desk and dropped my face into my hands. After a second, I flicked my hair out of my face and focused on my work.

           When it came to lunch time, Mikayla and I walked into the lobby together. Calum was waiting by the front doors, and when he caught sight of me, a smile stretched across his face, and he met me half way. As the space closed between us, his fingers walked across my waist before he fully wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in for a kiss. “You look beautiful today.” He sighed after pulling his lips away from mine.

           My cheeks burned as I blushed. I tucked my hair behind my ear and smiled. “Thank you. Do you want to get some food?” I grabbed Calum’s hand and tried to pull him towards the café.

           He gripped my hand tighter and pulled me back towards him. “Baby, I can’t stay, I have a meeting I need to go to. Will you come out to my car with me real fast?” With a nod, Calum took my hand and walked me out to his car. He opened the passenger door and pulled out a bouquet of roses. “I was at the store earlier and I saw those and thought of you, so I bought them. It really has nothing to do with why I wanted to stop by, but I thought it would be a nice gesture.” He laughed, closing the door and then leaning against it.

           As I smelled the flowers and smiled, he put his sunglasses on his nose, “Thank you, Calum, they’re beautiful.” A smirk twitched at the corner of his lips, I couldn’t help but blush, and a soft shade of pink washed over his cheeks.

           Calum nodded, then shoved his hands into his pockets, his smirk fading. “I found out this morning we’re going on a promotional tour for our new album, and then shortly after that we are going on an actual tour.” My heart sank, I knew it was going to happen, but I wasn’t ready. “We leave in three weeks, and I’m going to guess that in the next three weeks, I am going to be insanely busy.” His eyebrows pulled together and he pulled his lips into his mouth.

           I continued to hold the flowers up to my nose, but my eyes were connected to his. I faked a smile so he wouldn’t feel as though I was upset. “That’s great that you’re going on tour, you should be excited.” I dropped the flowers and held them at my side.

           “I am,” His eyebrows lifted above his sunglasses and his hand rested on his chest. “Don’t get me wrong, I love touring, but we’re just starting to enjoy our relationship, and I’m about to leave. You’ll still be here when I get back, right?” My chest felt heavy.

           “Of course I will, are you crazy, I’ll even come visit you. We can FaceTime every night and day, you leaving to do your job is not going to ruin what we have.” I reached up and ran the back of my fingers along his cheek.

           A soft smile stretched across his lips. “Can I ask you something, Emily, and you can tell me if I sound absolutely insane.” I nodded and leaned against him, wrapping my free arm around his neck. He responded by wrapping his arms around my waist and looking down before looking up. “I think you should move out of your apartment and come live with me.”

           Even though it was a topic Mikayla and I were talking about only mere hours ago, it still took me back. My mind raced and my fingers balled on the back of his neck into a fist. “Baby, I’m not sure if that’s the best idea.” I whispered and looked through his sunglasses.

           He looked away from me and pulled a key out of his pocket and shook it between his fingers for a second. “You don’t have to give me an answer right now, but I do want you to have a key so if you want to come over, you can just let yourself in.” My fingers gripped the key as I leaned my body against his and pressed a hard kiss to his lips. “Will you come over tonight after you leave work?” He asked me once our lips parted. Of course I would, even if I wasn’t sure if I wanted to move in with him yet, I was not going to let they key go to waste.

           Calum and I bid each other goodbye as I headed back into the building and he headed off to his meeting. When I met sat down next to Mikayla, she eyed the flowers in my hand. She asked me what happened and I held up they key he gave me. “He asked me to move in with him.” Mikayla smiled and I dropped my hands, “I told him I didn’t know if it was the best idea.” I shrugged and dropped my hands to the table. “He also told me that he’s leaving for tour in three weeks. What do you think I should do?”

           Mikayla chewed for a second and then looked down and shrugged before sticking her fork in her lunch. “I think you should figure out what you want.” She lifted her fork and put her elbow on the table. “Not just if you want to move in with him, you need to figure out what you want out of him. If you think you’re ready for another commitment, then sure move in with him.” She eyed her fork before shoving it in her mouth, “But if you’re not, then don’t do it.” She mumbled through her food.

           Mikayla’s words resonated with me the rest of the day. Every time I would look at the flowers sitting on my desk, I would wince. As I walked to my car, I spun the key to his house around in my fingers. I dropped it in my cupholder and drove to my apartment. Once I got to my apartment, I grabbed a few days of clothes and somethings out of my bathroom and headed to Calum’s. When I got to Calum’s, I used the key to let myself in. “Cal?” I called out, still feeling a bit weird walking into his house without him with me. He didn’t answer immediately, but I took a few steps into the house and heard him call from his music room. I walk down the hallway and dropped my bag in his bedroom. At the end of the hallway, the door to his music room was closed. On the other side, I heard the soft sound of music. I knock once and he tells me to come in. I quietly open the door, not to interrupt just in case he was doing something important.

           “Hey, baby. How was the rest of your day?” He pulled the headphones off his ears and he smiled. He looked comfortable in his white “sensation” shirt, dark gray sweat pants, and a light gray beanie. He had a purple bass in his lap and a guitar strap slung over his shoulder. My heart swelled, maybe coming home to this every day wouldn’t be so bad.

           “It was okay, I’m not interrupting anything am I?” I pointed to his bass and the camera set up in front of him.

           He shook his head, “No, I’m just messing around. Are you hungry? I can fix us some dinner real fast.” I accepted his offer and he put his bass on the stand next to him before moving towards me, pressing a gentle peck to my forehead. We walked together to his kitchen and he told me to sit down. I sat on the barstool and watched him cook. We talked, and I couldn’t believe how much he smiles, and every time he smiles, my stomach flips.

           He sat at the barstool next to me as he sat down both plates. As I grabbed my fork, I looked at him, “Why did you ask me to move in?” I asked him twisting the fork in my hand. Something inside me telling me that if he gave me a good reason, I’d want to do it.?

           He paused from taking a bite of his food and looked at me, “So that I could have this every day.” I raised my eyebrows, edging him to tell me why he really asked me. He sets his fork on his plate and smirks, “Okay, and because I think you deserve more than that tiny apartment. I was going to pay for a new apartment for you, but I think moving in with me will save us both some money.” He laughed, but I didn’t. He’s always wanting to spend all this money on me, money that I can never pay back. My head spins and I nod slowly, “Is everything okay, Emily?”

           “Yeah.” I said completely unconvincing as my thoughts ran around my head. My eyes closed as I dropped my fork onto my plate, “I need to ask you something.” I finally blurted out. Calum raised his eyebrows and swallowed, his Adam’s Apple bobbing. “Are we just together for fun, or are we together to actually try and build a life together?” The words came out of my mouth harsher than I wanted them to, so I didn’t bother to look at him. “I’m afraid that if I move in with you and you do all of these things for me, that we’re going to break up and I’m going to be right back where I was four months ago. I’m not afraid of commitment, I’m afraid of being destroyed a second time.” My voice became shaky towards the end, and I dropped my head to hide the tears that were forming on the rims of my eyes.

           Calum dropped his fork and placed his hand on my knee. His hand reached around my face so he could gently guide my face to be looking at him. His eyes sparkled in the light, my stomach filled with butterflies and I blinked away the tears. “I’m scared too, okay? You know that my past relationships were great either. I’m not with you just to pass time. Before I met you, I had completely sworn off relationships and anything to do with them. You’re different, you’re worth it.” He ran his thumb under my eye as a smile twitched over his lips.

           My heart skipped a beat after the last words fell from his lips. My head spun as the thoughts raced through. If I was worth it to him, then he was worth it to me. Even if I was scared, maybe he was worth it too. My fingers pressed against the back of his neck as I pulled him towards me, pressing my lips against his. “I’ll do it,” I whispered, “I’ll move in with you.” Calum let out a soft, happy laugh and pressed his lips to mine again. Our lips smiling against each other’s.

           We finished dinner and Calum took our plates back into the kitchen and started washing the dishes. My eyes wandered around the house for a minute until I stepped off my chair and walked into the kitchen. My hand grazed his lower back as I stepped around him and started grabbing dishes to put away. He smiled, but pulled his eyebrows together in confusion “If this is going to be my house now, too, I might as well help out.” I shot him a look as he pushed his button lip out in agreement. After he shut off the water, he reached for the towel and dried his hands, his biceps flexing in a devilish way with each movement. My teeth dug into my bottom lip the more I stared at him. To take my mind off him, I look up and my eyes catch sight of the swimming pool, softly lit by the lights under the water. My lips turn upward into a smirk as an idea pops into my head.

           Keeping my shit-eating smirk on my face, I turned towards Calum, causing him to stop all of his motions. He raised an eyebrow and draped the kitchen towel over the oven handle. “Have you ever gone skinny dipping in your own pool?” He placed one hand on the edge of the counter and the other on his hip. For a moment, he paused, but then he frowned and shook his head. My devilish smirk turned into a devilish smile before I reached down, holding onto the counter for support and took off my shoes. I skipped towards the backdoor and dropped my shoes off to the side. Without missing a beat, I opened the backdoor and ran outside. Once I was standing at the edge of the pool, I stripped my clothes off and jumped in. When I came up out of the water, I saw Calum standing at the edge of the pool, his hands in his pockets, laughing. “Come on, Cal, just do it.” He didn’t protest, instead he stripped off his clothes and jumped in.

           After he resurfaced I swam over to him and locked my arms around his neck. He ran his hands down his face, wiping the water away and then wrapped his arms around my waist. I leaned forward and pecked his lips, suddenly feeling the need for more after the tingling danced across my lips. My lips connected with his again in a needy kiss. As his grip tighten, he let out a quiet groan, no way to hide what was going on under the water. I nipped at his bottom lip and smirked, “Want to continue this inside?”

           He shook his head, “I have a better idea.” He reached for my legs, forcing me to wrap them around his waist. He connected his lips to mine while he made his way to the stairs of the pool. His hands held their grip under my thighs as he carried me over to a padded patio couch, laying me on my back. Before I could protest, I was lost in his touch and his body.