#hes strong but he aint *that* strong fellas

[unfortunate--moth]

So, um, I came from the depths of hell to annoy my friend Kat that I saw here as an anon just to tell him that Mikoto would NOT win against John in a fight for Mikoto's love.

That gamer ass ginger is build like a twig that John could break in half.

Wait, HALF?????

KAZUI???? 07???? 😱😱😱😱😱😱

*sings half aggressivelly*

Oh, I'm Sora btw :3

Hi Sora im so tired i had to reread this a few times GJEBFKDJFBSLDJDVENDISHD

Im gonna assume you meant Fuuta when you said Mikoto the first time?

While I agree he could definitely beat him in a fight we have to remember that yes Fuuta is a gamer but he's also a soccer player (source is interrogation questions on the wiki (from memory)) so I think he'd at least last a bit longer than he would if he were built like me. (<- actual twig)

[star2stop]

oooh to draw lloyd with many lil uncanny traits just cuz hes the son of a former supervillain who looked funky as hell

to give him sharp teeth and black scleras and claw-like hands and a funky looking tongue and black fingertips and weird tinted blood and four arms (even if the golden weapons r not a thing anymore i think) and so many others slightly offputting features UGH

[a-twistedheartslonging]

Floyd/Reader Mafia AU

Injuries, masochism on Floyd's end, stitching wounds, mentions of violence, no sex but Floyd is weird and busts a nut.

They/Them used for the reader.

Floyd is going to get himself killed…young too.

They couldn't help but think it as they kneeled between the needlessly long legs of said man, seated on a well-worn leather stool. The make shift surgery room was quiet save for the sound of their shared breaths and the dripping of the near by sink's leaky faucet. 

From what they heard from the others the job was supposed to be something simple. “Just in and out.”

I really shouldn't be surprised. It made sense Floyd would be the one to complicate things…again. He’s a smart and clever person, they knew this well but…boredom can be dangerous when it comes to certain people.

They couldn't help but let out a tired sigh.

Of course, he would be the one to turn it into a shoot-out.

And now they are picking buckshot and glass of out Floyd's bleeding side. His face would tighten up in pain for a moment, showing off sharp teeth, before relaxing slightly and letting out a giggle.

Floyd always did seem to enjoy the strangest things. 

They look from their work for a moment and into his eyes, they see that manic spark that always seemed to glow brighter whenever he saw them.

Floyd…wanted them, they knew that. Why he did? They really didn't know. They weren't self sure like like him or the others, not strong, or particularly interesting. Hell they weren't even a real doctor, just a medical school dropout. 

Not breaking eye contact he spoke. “Fuck Doc, it hurts.” He let out a groan before a grin becgain to spread on his face.“I gotta make sure to kill that fella next time.”

They quickly looked away, bringing their eyes back to their work. 

Aaah I really hope I don’t have to see when it happens.

Nervously they picked out another piece of glass, being as gentle as they could with the jagged tear in his flesh. 

They heard a hiss coming from him when removing this shard before dropping it into a metal container with the others. A large hand suddenly gripped their shoulder and pulled them up some, causing them to let out a startled noise.

“Eh, Doc, can't ya be more careful? It might leave a scar.”

They tried to keep neutral it but couldnt help but make a face at that.

Oh please. They knew full well he liked his scars, he even thought they made him look cool. They lost count of how many times he would show them off and insisted they touch them and…he keeps calling them that. He must really like making fun of them.

“Stop…stop calling me that.” 

“Huh? Nah, don't think so. You're my cute little Doctor Shrimp, always patching me up.”

They look over his shoulder to stare at the wall as he speaks, eye contact would be too much. Especially with their position. Being between a grown man's legs certainly wasn't helping with their anxiety, nor did they make it a habit to be around men in such a way.

“You ignoring me Doc? That aint very nice.” Floyd muttered.

They shook their head, they weren't. 

“Then why don't you-”

The interrupted “I, uhm, I need to stitch your wounds now Floyd.” They spoke quickly. Whatever Floyd wanted them to do, they really shouldn't. Best to finish this as soon as they can.

And so they stuck the needle into him.

Floyd yelped. His body twitched and he squeezed his eyes shut as the needle moved through his flesh. In and out it went, sewing his skin together. 

“Worst pain I've ever felt, Doc.” He said, but he was lying through his teeth. How could this be worse than everything else he's been through? Shot, stabbed, and even suffered through broken bones for god's sake…all things they took care of for him.

They pulled at the thread and Floyed trembled, high spots of red rising in his cheeks. With each stab of the needle, his body shivered. 

As they dragged the wound shut, a different kind of groan tumbled out. 

They stopped at hearing the sound, heat rushing to their face. Without meaning to, they brushed against his thigh, and Floyd went stiff.

They looked down and saw the state of Floyd's pants. He was hard.

The pain. Jeez, he was getting…off on the pain. It was either the pain, the attention, or both. Jade had the weirdest reactions to everything. 

The air around them turned hot. They were sweating, but their hands were cold and clammy under thier surgical gloves. Whatever Floyd thought this was, whatever he was feeling, they really shouldn’t encourage it.

“Go on, Doc, finish the job.” Floyd said, his tone taunting. When they looked at him, his expression was heated and almost…desperate. He looked so wrecked.

The sight of Floyd, his sounds, how pathetic he was right now…a wave of arousal went through them, followed by shame and further anxiety. They felt like thier were going to pass out.

I need to leave and soon.

They pulled the final stitch closed, finishing it.

With shaky hands they fumbled for the rubbing alcohol, letting the cap fall to the ground. Staring at the blood they hwsitated for a moment before carefully emptying the entire bottle onto the wound.

They poured it until the bottle was empty and tossed it away to be cleaned later, the plastic bottle bouncing off the floor. 

They didn't truly want to hurt Floyd but they needed that heated expression to go away.

Floyd made a choked noise, sounding almost pathetic, and arched off the examination table. Rivulets of alcohol flowed down his skin, mixing with his blood. It dripped down his side, his stomach, and past the vee of his hips, soaking into his blood-stained pants.

He threw his head back, convulsing with pain. His mouth opened to utter a broken cry before falling backward, back hitting the examination table and body going limp.

They let out a gasp. “Oh…oh god.” Eye's locking onto a new wet patch at the front of his pants. 

They...really shouldn’t have expected anything different. Floyd had made his…want of them clear. In his strange mind pain was just another outstretched hand to him. Part of them knew nothing they could do would dissuade him. It scared them but also…made them feel something else they really... shouldn't. 

Floyd's mismatched eyes found them again, looking up at them half-lidded. With a smile, he licked his lips with a long inhuman tongue.

With a trembling hand, they reached for the door and quickly left the room.

[dr-spectre]

What are your headcanons on each of the idols' families?

For example: I headcanon the Squid Sisters to be the daughters of that one cuttlefish idol group; with Marie being the kid of the one in blue while Callie is the kid of the one in pink.

(I'd especially would love to know your headcanons on Marina's family since there's ZERO mention of them)

My headcanons on each of the idols' families? Hmm, that's a very interesting question.

I feel like Callie and Marie's parents used to be idols themselves, and that's why they made them sing at folk singing competitions when they were kids. They probably didn't force them to do it either as Callie and Marie have a genuine passion for music and they never speak poorly about their parents. So it all worked out in the end for them. Maybe their parents were the Idols you are talking about, that is an interesting theory/headcanon.

Pearl's parents to me, probably suck and are just pompous rich assholes. Standard typical rich parents that treat their child as a toy they can put their money into and not their love. I think they might have been the reason on why Pearl decided to become a punk rocker for a bit, because she wanted to rebel and say "MAN SCREW YOU MUM AND DAD!!!!!!"

Now Marina's parents/family? I think they were just never in the picture to be honest. They just raised her to be a perfect solider and nothing more, because Octarian society is always in a state of collapse so... There's no room in their eyes to properly raise a child unfortunately...

Maybe it explains why Marina becomes so in love with Pearl, because she's the only person in her life who has given her any sort of love and respect.... No wonder she fucking freaks out when Pearl even remotely suggestions Off the Hook breaking apart in the Final Fest dialogue.... I'm gonna leave it there before i start feeling sad for my girl Marina.

ANYWAYS! Shiver's parents/family

I feel like they are the very distant and cold type of parents. They probably didn't treat her all that warmly and they disciplined her a lot so that she can become a powerful shark tamer. I don't Shiver's parents were physically abusing her or anything, i think they were just being VERY strict with her and not being the most lovey dovey parents out there you know?

It might explain why Shiver calls herself cold blooded but she still desperately wants to hang out with her high school buddies Frye and Big Man.... She didn't get that warm attention she needed as a kid and now seeks it badly as an adult....

I headcanon Shiver as a lonely person who struggles with loneliness and doesn't know how to properly show her love to others. She tried to set up a hang out plan for FrostyFest as shown by the dialogue but... it didn't pan out as she wanted... It probably destroyed her...

Damn... I'm getting real sad with these huh? HAHAHA! Okay, no more sad shit.

Frye's family is probably amazing and quite large. I can imagine get-togethers to be humongous and Frye loves to see her family. She has such a strong connection to her siblings and i bet her parents too. Frye probably has the best relationship with her family out of any of the 7 Idols.

I mean look at this joyful little fella, she must have had great parents to make her end up into becoming this happy little gal.

Big Man? I'm gonna be honest, i got nothing for him...

He's my least favourite Idol and i genuinely don't care enough about him to come up with headcanons. I'm so sorry Big Man fans. He aint a pretty cephalopod woman so i don't care (I'm joking.)

[immajustvibehere]

A Fool Remains Foolish

Pairing: Arthur Morgan x fem!reader

summary: Drunk Arthur stumbles into the hotel bathroom to get a deluxe bath. He's too drunk to recognise a woman he used to know and love in past.

tags: weirdly fluffy, drunk Arthur, soft Arthur, he aint no outlaw when he's naked, if you squint you'll see hints of nsfw content

3000 words, 15 minutes reading time

When you discreetly opened the bathroom door to tend to a customer who had ordered a deluxe bath you surely hadn't expected this. You immediately recognized him. It was his soft voice in which cursed himself when he struggled to get out of his pants which gave him away. Then he turned around and undoubtedly, that was Arthur Morgan, hammered and naked in front of you. This familiar body stumbled around in the bathroom, trying to cover his private parts while steering towards the steaming bathtub.

"Sorry, Miss. I'm-", he interrupted his slurring with a chuckle darkly, "I'll behave."

You shook your head smilingly: "I thought we didn't allow drunkards to take baths. We had some who drowned."

"I can swim, I won't drown, don'tcha worry ‘bout me", the man had finally found his way into the bathtub, now submerging in the warm water. Not without spilling half the tub.

As he closed his eyes to enjoy the feeling of a hot bath, you couldn't help but grin like an idiot. Arthur fucking Morgan. You thought you'd never see him again. The last time you spoke to him was about ten years ago. Maybe even more. He obviously hadn't recognized you yet. Maybe a decade of anything but an easy life had changed you, or maybe it was your new hairstyle. Even more likely, it was that he was drunk enough to not know his own name. You watched as he tried to grab the soap, missing it two times before giving up.

"You just relax, Mister", you said kindly and picked up the soap, "that's my job anyways."

"Oh, right!", Arthur remarked as if he had just remembered you were in the room too. You started to soap him up, tracing the lines of his tense muscles with a wet rag. He had changed a lot too, not for the worse though.

"I have a bet going on", Arthur explained in a loud voice "with my friend Lenny, ya know? He thought I wouldn't get a woman to wash me."

"Looks like he lost that bet", you laughed.

"Sure did", Arthur exclaimed. After some giggles he slurred something barely intelligible before he hummed approvingly when you moved on to his hair, massaging the soap into his wet strands. You jumped when the man plumped forwards. You feared he had passed out. But instead, he had just chosen to make an incredibly sudden move to rested his head on his arm which lay still on the brim of the bathtub.

"Yer real kind, miss", he mumbled, "haven't been touched like this by a woman in years."

After you weren't quick enough to think of a response he apologized in a sad voice: "Sorry, maybe ain't appropriate to say that..."

"That's okay", you reassured, "though I don't understand. You're a handsome looking fella."

"I think...I'm payin' you to say that", Arthur stuttered his thoughts. You laughed and because he heard that, he allowed himself a chuckle.

"Trust me, you're paying me to wash you. The money ain't enough to come up with lies", you rinsed his hair, careful not to get soap into his eyes. Which was rather difficult, considering his head position wasn't ideal, hanging almost over the bathtub. The warm water running down his back earned you a content sigh.

"Yer pretty. I'm sure ya got a strong husband back home to take care of ya", he peered at you, still not recognizing you.

"Can't say that I have", you answered truthfully. Having your old lover ask you that made your heart beat quicker. It was as if he attempted to flirt with you, though very poorly.

"Huh? Anyway, I'm a bad man, Miss. Women are right to stay far away from me", he explained quietly, his words transforming into a hum after you continued to his shoulder, working hard to massage his muscles.

"That so...", you whispered a reply.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Most of the night was a blur for Arthur. When he woke up the next morning, the first thing he had to worry about is how he managed to get a bed. He was facing a window with drawn, worn-down curtains. Nevertheless, it was still rather bright in the room, too bright for his hangover. And still, he remained in that position for a while, just until he had woken up a bit more.

Then he rolled over onto his back while fearing that the bed underneath him was rolling over too. He blinked and vaguely recognized the ceiling. He had slept some nights at the Saints Hotel to be familiar with its commodities. A sigh of relief followed. Of all the places he could have passed out, a hotel bed seemed a rather harmless one. But then he caught a glimpse of a human figure sitting next to him.

"Aw shit", he mumbled in a gravelly voice. "I got myself a whore?"

He lifted his heavy arms to pinch the bridge of his nose. The question was more a question to himself, insulting the woman next to him wasn't really his intention...it was more a way of talking himself down for having sunk so low in his drunken state. Either way, he didn't have a lot of time to sulk about it, because a hand slapped him right across the face. Not so hard to seriously hurt, but definitely firm enough to quicken the waking up process.

"You have an odd way of thanking me", you remarked with a sigh. You watched as Arthur properly opened his eyes, staring at you with his blue orbs. God, you had missed them so much. In all the time that had passed since you had last seen him, you had never found a man whose eyes impressed you like Arthur’s had done. Not that this was a feature he had control over, but it added to his offense when he was drunkenly mumbling self-deprecations all night.  The dim light hadn't given you a proper opportunity to see them, but now he looked up to you from his pillow, his eyes wide in surprise.

"Y/n?", he mumbled unbelievingly.

You nodded.

"Oh shit", Arthur remarked, flopping back into his pillow, and pressing his fists onto his eyes. He must be dreaming. When he dared a second look, he shamelessly looked you up and down. Just to make sure you were really there. But you quietly sat next to him, an opened book in your lap and dark rings under your eyes.

"That really you?", he asked. Just to verify his aching head wasn't deceiving him.

"Of course it's me, you damn fool", now you couldn't suppress a smile because you saw the red colour coming to his cheeks.

"How-", Arthur started.

"Remember getting a deluxe bath while absolutely shit-faced?", you asked.

Arthur pondered for a while, not sure if those flashes of images were remains of a dream or had really happened. So he carefully answered: "Maybe."

"Well, I had the pleasure to keep you from drowning while scraping two weeks’ worth of dirty off your body", you now giggled, secretly enjoying how the man squirmed uncomfortably under your words.

"Sorry I didn't recognize ya", Arthur apologized, trying to sit up but deciding against it when it proved too much of a hassle. Also, his blanket slipped, which made him realize for the first time since he had woken up that he was completely nude. He lifted the blanket just an inch to make sure, wondering if the situation could get any more embarrassing.

"You vomited on your clothes, I had to get you out of them. Don't worry, I cleaned them. There's not one cloud in the sky and a decent wind so they might be dry in the afternoon", you explained.

Arthur sighed and mumbled: "Guess it don't matter much. I bet I made a fool out of myself in the bathroom already."

He found some comfort in your soft smile, relieved that you didn't show any intention of teasing him about it. You thought back to last night, giggling in reminiscence: "Oh, just a bit. You stumbled across every possible obstacle, and I practically had to drag you up the stairs but that aside...you were manageable."

Arthur joined in in your chuckle, more out of embarrassment than the ability to laugh about himself.

"Should've jus' kicked me out", he suggested.

"I suppose", you shrugged "You're lucky I like you and was happy to see you again or I might have had you arrested."

Arthur blinked at the ceiling. 'You're lucky I like you'? What was that supposed to mean? You might have been lovers ten years ago, but you hadn't been speaking in past tense. Him making a fool out of himself surely wouldn't be enough to rekindle old feelings. And yet, when he turned his head to look at you, he understood. Your cheeks had blushed from the sudden confession and your eyes were glowing in anticipation and excitement. He still couldn't grasp 'why', but for some reason you really seemed to care about him. Hell, you had been taking more care of him in one night than any women ever had. Arthur opened his mouth to say something, though he wasn't entirely sure what. But you were faster.

"I'm sure you're thirsty. I'll get you a glass of water and check on your clothes", you stated, jumping out of bed eagerly, despite being exhausted from the two hours of sleep you had gotten.

When you returned barely ten minutes later, Arthur had passed out again. Lying on his stomach, soft snores filled the room. You couldn't help but smile, put the glass down and slipped under the blanket. At least he's somewhat sober now, you thought. There was no danger of him suffocating on his own vomit, so you might as well rest. The bed wasn't the biggest, but it was comfortable enough for two people, if they weren't skittish about a bit of cuddling.

You didn't want to be indecent though. Arthur was still naked. His clothes were still damp and fluttering on the clothing line on the balcony of the hotel. Arthur's face was turned towards you. You watched as his eyelids twitched; his mouth slightly open. His hair was dishevelled. Guess that happens when you fall asleep with wet hair, not like he had given you a good opportunity to dry it after he had passed out.

Being close to him felt familiar, though completely different at the same time. The two of you were young when you dated, now, neither of you were what could be considered young. Arthur had gained one or two scars on his face, even more on his body, as you had remarked in the bathtub yesterday. But he was still handsome, despite what he may think. It's new though, this talking himself down and apologizing for existing. He wasn't quite that humble when you were together. You wondered what had happened.

With Arthur's rhythmic snores and the exhaustion wearing your body down and making your eyelids heavy, it didn't take long until you finally fell asleep.

It was way past lunchtime, the sun was already threatening to disappear behind the mountains, when Arthur finally woke up again. He was turned towards the window again and his eyes fell onto the glass of water on his nightstand, which he eagerly gulped down. When he turned in bed, determined to rest for only five more minutes before getting up, he suddenly found his face only inches from yours. Drowsy as he was, he had forgotten you were there. But now it was his time to look at your sleeping face in awe. Strands of hair had fallen into your face, one of your hands rested on the pillow, being the only barrier between him and you.

He was going nowhere. Not until you had woken up and brought him his clothes. So he might as well stay in bed and watch you...no, that didn't feel right.

Arthur turned onto his back to stare down the ceiling. Occasionally, he got distracted when you shuffled closer and snuggled up to him. It did feel good to have a warm and soft body next to him. Too good, almost. You weren't his lover anymore and you had already gone through a lot of trouble to care for him this past hours, he didn't want to be the one to have inappropriate thoughts about something that was so long ago and that surely wouldn't be happening again.

"Y/n", he whispered.

There was no reaction whatsoever. You didn't even move an inch. Your arm was snaked around his and he felt your legs pressing against his. Your mouth was so close to his bare skin, he could feel your hot breath. It gave him goosebumps.

"Y/n", he repeated more firmly, turning his body to lie on the side again. Your arms were untangled, and his warm legs were no longer touching yours. You blinked.

"Sorry to wake ya", Arthur whispered, his hand moving one strand of hair out of your face before he remembered to not do it, but to keep a respectable distance. As much as he could in one bed.

You blinked a couple of times before you groaned: "Oh no, sorry. I didn't want to sleep for so long."

"It's okay, darli-...", he cleared his throat, "I just...." Arthur couldn't bring himself to ask you to stand up to get his clothes.

"I'll get them in a minute", you said apologetically, knowing exactly what he was hinting at. Arthur felt bad and sat up, resting his back against the cool bedrest: "Don't worry 'bout it. Take yer time."

You stretched and sat up next to Arthur. You checked him out in the corner of his eye. Now that he only had the blanket covering his low abdomen, starting to cover the area where a thicker trail of hair led down to...

"You're still running with Dutch?", you asked in an attempt to distract yourself.

"Yeah", Arthur answered, his gaze towards the ceiling again.

Your eyes fell on your book that rested on the nightstand: "How's Hosea? I had to think about him a lot last night when I was reading to stay awake. It was him who taught me, remember?"

"I do", Arthur replied thoughtfully, vaguely remembering the scenes of you back in camp when it was still only a small group of people. You had been a quick learner. He remembered bugging Hosea to teach you faster, because he wanted to spend time with you alone and not watch you pronounce letter after letter. What a fool he was back then.

"Hosea's doing good. Still a strong man, I'm sure he'll outlive all of us", Arthur said to your great pleasure.

"He better!", you grinned, "tell him I said hello." But then you wondered if Arthur even wanted to do that. Because it implied telling someone that you two had met again and somehow...you weren't sure if Arthur wanted that. That's why you didn't even wait for an answer and slipped out of bed and announced you'd get his clothes. Arthur shuddered at the cold that suddenly replaced the spot where you had been, but nodded as reply.

As soon as you handed him his clothes and he remarked that they were cleaner than they had been in years, he didn't bother waiting until you offered to leave the room. He sat at the edge of the bed and started to dress himself. His back was turned towards you, but he felt foolish telling you not to watch or leave, reminding himself constantly that he was a drunk idiot last night and there were probably some naked shenanigans that he had done last night that you weren't disclosing to save some of his dignity.

His gun belt clattered as he fixed it around his hip. Arthur looked like a different man. He wasn't the helpless, flirty drunk who you bathed yesterday, neither was he the drowsy man you had slept next to. All of a sudden, he was an outlaw again. A man on the run, a man who many dreamed about seeing him swing. That was what had bothered you ten years ago when the two of you had ended things.

You asked yourself if it still mattered to you now.

Dressed and ready to leave, he took some money out of his satchel and attempted to hand it to you: "For yer trouble. And for keeping you from workin' the whole day."

You crossed your arms: "Couple of hours ago you were disgusted because you thought you woke up next to a working girl and now you try to pay me like one?"

Arthur was stunned. You were right, of course, but he didn't quite grasp the fact that you done all this for him for free. When the money was back in his satchel, the two of you hugged.

It wasn't one of those short, friendly hugs with patting the back of the other. No, it was an intimate hug. Like two friends that met again after years. Or even better, two lovers that found themselves confronted with old feelings. Arthur hugged you tighter, resting his cheek against your head.

"Guess of all the girls I could've made a fool of myself, 'm glad it was you last night", he mumbled.

Your face being pressed into the crook of his neck, he felt your lips curling into a smile.

"Where are you holed up? Will you stop by again?", you suddenly started to feel anxious that this is the last time you'll see Arthur. Not now, not after you haven't felt this safe and happy to be there for somebody.

"We're not far from here. ...I'll be around, sure", as Arthur said those words, he didn't quite believe them yet. But as soon as he had his back turned towards you to walk off to his horse, he knew that he'll be back sooner rather than later.

--------------------------------------------------------

I mean, if y'all want...I think a second part is the logical way of approaching this story. But it depends on your feedback hehe

And as pretty much always, this was developed in a cooperation with @little-honeypie

taglist: @photo1030 @stilinskiwitch

[carebeartherese]

My live reactions to Loki ep 4:

(Already 7 mins in and I’m angry with Kang)

-hell yea the clock lady wants you (what the fuck)

-mobius and Loki are very boyfriends rn

-shit the loom

-LOKI LOOKED AT MOBIUS’ HAND

-sorry

-I love this Victor timely fella tbh

-oh fuck dox

-B15 my love <333

-no don’t let dox live

-oooooo words

-Víctor is so autism

-ob and Casey <3333

-ob and victor meeting each others idles

-snake eating it’s own tail= Ouroboros

-FANGIRLING

-CASEY JEALOUS??

-mobius is so sweet

-NOT THE BIGASS SUIT THING AGAIN POOR MOBIUS

-lmfao petty ob

-hahahahah VOLUNTEER LOKI

-skin?

-mobius and Loki fighting like an old couple is my favorite

-Sylvie = third wheel

-Loki is in fact super fast

-ooop victor is think

-Casey and ob are so bf coded

-CASEY IS THE OTHER WOMAN NOW

-PIE DATE 2???

-sylvie pls let them be a couple

-dude this bitch

-CALLING OUT MOBIUS FR

-HE HASNT LOOKED CAUSE HE LOVES LOKI HE WANTS TO STAY WITH HIM

-MOBIUS AND SYLVIE FACING OFF WHILE LOKI STANDS IN THE BACKGROUND IS ACTUALLY PEAK CINEMA

-WHO WILL HE CHOOSE

-pie pls

-LOKI YOU CHOSE HER???

-oh brad

-shit

-please don’t start a prison riot

-don’t bring Galileo into this

-Stfu dox

-uhhhh this tension is strange

-B15 !!!!!!

-brad doing the same hand-resting thing with his collar

-PIE TIME

-wait sylvie gtfo

-ohhhh please let them fight about MOBIUS

-Loki monologue incoming

-lmfao Thor mocking

-also Loki character development???

-yea those people live because of his lover

-damn wise words ig

-I don’t like them as a couple please don’t let this happen again

-yea sylvie thats kinda the point of hope

-i don’t hate her she’s just annoying on occasion

-anyways

-ok but you are gods tho

-thx Loki also back tf up

-MOVE ON /SRS

-damn that pie room is the real star or the show

-fuck dox srsly

-NO NO RAVONNA STOP

-also crazy bitch Ms minutes honorable mention

-SHES WORKING ON HERSELF OK

-oh shit life on the timeline?? Fr???

-oh fuck no you crazy bitches

-WHAT ARE THEY DOING

-BRAD NO

-FUCK DONT SQUISH THEM

-NO PLEASE OMFG RAVONNA

-MS MINUTES WHY ARE YOU PSYCHOTIC

-Brad that was fuckin cold

-see even ravonna doesn’t actually give a fuck who you are brad

-Casey x OB x Timely???

-It’s hotchoc victor

-I love victor

-mobius is so supportive

-what’s happening with the tempads tho???

-oh sorry b15 it’s people goo now

-MS MINUTES STOP THIS AINT SUPPOSED TO BE HORROR

-Aw he made the guard hot coco

-OH FUCK

-BRAD WHAT THE HELL YOU CUNT

-IT WAS SO WHOLESOME UNTIL YOU SHOWED UP

-MOBIUS AND VIRUSES LMFAO

-shit Ms minutes

-stawp

-loki and mobius need more screen time together

-this feels much scarier than it should tbh

-ohhh….hey ravonna….sorry about all that

-oh shit ok

-mommy? Sorry, mommy? Sorry-

-brad please relax with your 70s hair

-TIMELY DONT BE A DICK PLS

-RUN LOKI RUN

-oh fuck this is it ig

-real Ms minutes sucks

-shits getting real

-loki is gonna get pruned by himself

-sylvie constantly plays elevator music in her soul

-this is where Loki gets pruned!!!! Probably by himself

-yup I was right prune yourself

-damn sylvie strong

-good job loki???

-sorry just had to kill past me rq

-WHOS calling???

-and th e call was coming from IsIdE tHe HoUsE

-oh dammit ob you scared me

-mobius is so worried about his boyfriend he’s willing to reboot the whole system

-LET THE LOKIS USE THEIR POWERS SRSLY

-BYE MS MINUTES

-Aw poor timely they aren’t mocking you

-OH SHIT

-you’ll never be him.

-that shit was menacing fr

-oh DONT send brad out on his own!!!

-he gonna die

-fuck that was kinda hot ngl

-anyways hi sylvie/brad

-FUCK YEA SCREW YOU RAVONNA

-lokius has had way too few scenes today

-loki <333

-oh thank god

-OH THERE IS NO GOD

-THE LOOM

-oh loki please be safe

-don’t send timely out pls

-no dont!!!

-TIMELY PLS DONT DIE

-OH SHIT BLACK HOLE SPAGHETTI

-NO TIMELY PLEASE

-GOD HOW FIX PLS

-NO BAD LOKI

-STAY PUT PLEASE

-DUDE

-THIS SHIT IS TERRIFYING

-B15 MY LOVE

-OH FUCK WHY IS IT DARK

-WHAT THE HELL WHAT JUST HAPPENED

-THAT IS AN UNFAIR CLIFFHANGER

-COME BACK

[mistermxrgan]

Do you ever get your teeth checked? Have you ever needed any pulled out? Broken any?

For a moment he paused as he recalled memories of his past in the gang life. Times he got into brawls and accidents due to clumisness. The amount of wounds, scars, broken teeth from other gang members. He ran a finger around the lower and the upper of his mouth to feel the row of teeth that were in his gums. His digit paused on one of his front teeth. A small chip which made his tooth look significantly shortened. Sometimes he got a dull ache from it when he ate hot and cold.

"I got a chipped tooth, but- it aint exactly a wild story with how that happened." He could have made some elaborate explanation about how he tried to rob someone and got into a brawl with some strong fella. The truth was a lot more embarassing, rather, someone had not prompted him of an object which followed with Arthur hitting the item face first. "Let's just say that someone did something to make me chip this tooth."

[bxttxrflybxddie]

LETS FINALLY TALK ABOUT MY FAV POOR LITTLE MEOW MEOW ((aka, me simping for mime bomb for an entire episode)) ((beware))

so starting off, i really enjoy that we see things of carmens past get to her. i love love love it when our heros arent always perfect robots and do go through emotions; including past traumas that get to them

to this day shadowsan shouldve called foul idc idc lol

black sheep doesnt get it the first time, thats fine! she knows that shadowsan is a very skilled thief. but the more she misses the more agitated she becomes until it seems like shes stealing for her life. this is a lovely detail!!

also crackle watching her w a big smile on her face bc ugh shes so cool, theres no way shes gonna fail! right?

she falls and D: but tigress is being a meanie as usual

player knowing whats wrong bc hes a great bestie

ALSO GET THIS CHILD SOME NATURAL SUNLIGHT PLEASE.

i've never personally been to san francisco so learning about the fog was a nice touch! i havent seen any movies or shows go over the fog either!

her charity fit is so slay oh my god

what an expensive stamp

i wish we couldve seen players stamp collection el oh el

devineaux yet again being a Guy, i love him lol what a Dude

SHE FR THREW A RED BOTTOM HEEL AT HIM. MA'AM I WOULDVE TAKEN IT.

julia being smart againUGH shes my WIFE.

MIME BOMB!!! THE MAN OF THE HOUR !!!!!!!!!!

THE WALKING BACKWARDS !!!! HES SO CUTE I JUST WANNA KSJDFKSUBDHSKJLF

julia being correct again.

wh. whwere is mime bomb calling the faculty from????

I think shadowsan continues to send Tigress bc he knows shes gonna fail. to this say i wish they wouldve touched on this.

i also enjoy the detail that dr bellum watches cat videos lol shes a cutie

MIME BOMB SITTING ON NOTHING??????? WALL SITTING ON AIR. THE CORE STRENGTH???????? (sidenote very attractive imo bc im crushing on him)

Brunt: "he aint what youd call the strong silent type." HES WALL SITTING ON AIR. WITHOUT A DROP OF SWEAT, NO MOVEMENT, JUST CHILL. HOW. BRUNT HOW ARE U MISSING UR CLEAREST STRONGEST STUDENT.

i think tigress' day outfit is cute. shes a fashionista.

AND THEN HES READING AN INVISIBLE NEWSPAPER, STILL SITTING ON NOTHING.

Mime Bomb is visual comedic gold. One of the many things I enjoy abt his character and how he steals the show everytime hes on screen. give him more screentime. revive the show for him, pls,.

tigress is a grown woman bringing up old shit. cmon girl.

i also enjoy the differences between how carmen and tigress open the lucky cats. I LOVE CHARACTERS.

ug hes my husband i gotta say more abt him. mime bomb is so smart, hes such a genius lil mime whos a code breaker and a quick thinker. i wish we couldve seen him be more intellectual than the rest of his peers more often. dumping the big obvious cat to not only distract carmen but to get away w the stamp? genius, he deserves a kiss. mwah.

HIS LIL STRUT!!!

"Another street clown, so what?" HES A MIME!!!! U SILLY GOOF!!!!!!

HIS DOUBE LOOK BACK STARE IM. i need him to be real. i need to omg.

miming running away to be tackled pt.2, cmon babe this is a pattern now.

THEY JUST. KIDNAPPED HIM. BAG OVER HIS FACE AND ALL.

'~' (((hes very cute)))

they handcuffed a non-verbal fella. i feel like this is more messed up then i think.

julia being pro-mime. we stan.

now rewatching this, chase straight up SLAMMED our sweet mime into a CONCRETE WALL. i need to fight a frenchman for that very reason.

yet again to mime bomb being smart, PLANTING THE STAMP ON THE SAME PEOPLE TRYING TO FIND IT AND ALSO CARMEN SANDIEGO WHO IS ALSO TRYING TO FIND THE STAMP. OH MY GOD.

his expressions r very cute. mmmmwah

slay tigress being smart!! shes not dumb she just makes some brash decisions!!!!!!!!!!! characters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"what about 'Where did you hide it'? >:( ma'am yall are in PUBLIC. CARMEN DOES THE SAME THING.

for 2 people trying to follow a mime these acme agents are doing a bad job at figuring out what he's doing.

*how episode wouldve ended if they looked a little deeper*

julia: "Inspector, could you check your left, inside pocket?"

chase: "ugh, if it pleases yWHAT-"

and then they wouldve also seen him act this out Very Publicly to a woman that is Not Carmen Sandiego which would help them for future investigations at least

LOOK AT THE DUDE YOURE FOLLOWING PLS

mime bomb didnt even keep the 26 cents tigress gave him lol

((tw: talk about the taking care of witnesses rule)) if tigress can rip up an entire article of clothing without chase even feeling a tug, then i hate to imagine how swift she takes care of witnesses tbh

SHE JUST LIFTED AN ENTIRE MAN OUT OF A CAR WINDOW, N NOT THE ONE CLOSEST TO HIM.

((tw: mention of rule again)) also this victim was a witness. he saw her face. is she gonna come back to him orrr???

chase being a dummy dumb pt. 28374

WHY DID HE JUST LEAVE JULIA THERE????? WHAT AN ASS LMAO

okay but like. so the cleaners werent planned to pick her up given shadowsans reaction. h. how was she going to deliver the stamp?? teleporting????

this kids also is why u dont text and drive

SHE TOOK IT OUT OF HER POCKET TO SHOW THE CLEANERS THAT DEF CANT SEE IT FROM UP THERE. WHAT IF IT WAS WINDY??? CMOOOOIIOOONWKJEFSKHFKJDGSKHFJ

sidenote tigress took a precious stamp out of a little baggy in one fist close without damage to the stamp, well done!

whyyyy does tigresssss put the stamppppp in her hightop boooot ((that could not only fly out easy)) in front of the woman who has been known to be an improving thief and has crashed one of her missions before. she didnt get a dollar bill once. shes mad at that. TIGRESS, IF 2+2=4!!!

mmmm side profiles

i wanna be like "oh tigress why didnt you fight her" but at that point i wouldve gave up too

also the cleaners saw this all happen lmao

also slay devinaux being in actual danger, puts actualy fear and tension into the characters future!

tldr: WOOHOO MIME BOMB!!!!! and chase + tigress are silly geese

© BXTTXRFLYBXDDIE

[tomcat-tango]

LET'S MAKE YOUR MINDCHILDREN SUFFER

Luzie Vogelsang:

3. What's their moral compass like?

7. What's their pain tolerance?

13. What's their relationship to their body? Self esteem? Self image?

19. How do they view the world? Are they an optimist? A pessimist? A realist?

Delta:

4. How do they feel about sparing women and children if given the choice? Do they value certain lives over others? (while she was still in active service)

6. How far would they go to save someone they love? Would they sacrifice themselves? Others?

15. How do they kill? Do they try to minimize suffering? (again, while in active service)

20. Are they codependent? Do they have abandonment issues? (i'm sorry but i had to, i know it's low hanging fruit 😘)

Kirill AND Romeo, i want to compare them for Science Reasons:

2. How much death and/or destruction have they wrought?

3. Do they try to prevent unnecessary suffering?

9. What do they regret the most?

16. What haunts them?

and last but probably the longest and hardest one to answer: for the entire Lonestars crew, Kirill, Walker, Brooker, Toby and Leo's squad

10. Do they have the ability to love?

(feel free to ignore that one, that would be so much work to answer lmaoooo)

GIrl, I had wait until I was back at my pc to answer all this (aint no way i was trusting mobile to not fuck things up)

Luzie Vogelsang:

3. What's their moral compass like?

Luzie is a Lawful Good through and through, though it can occasionally dip to neutral, she's got a strong compass.

7. What's their pain tolerance?

HIGH.

13. What's their relationship to their body? Self esteem? Self image?

I'm going with regular non-au Luzie on this, overall she doesn't have any super bad body issues, but being down one eye and having a very noticeable scar certainly causes her some discomfort outside of a battlefield. Modern AU she hates how fucked up her knee is.

19. How do they view the world? Are they an optimist? A pessimist? A realist?

Overall I'd say a realist, but she hopes for the best. If there is no hope, fighting for a better tomorrow becomes An Ordeal.

Delta:

4. How do they feel about sparing women and children if given the choice? Do they value certain lives over others? (while she was still in active service)

Civilians are not targets, therefore they won't be in her sights. Kids certainly have the most leeway.

6. How far would they go to save someone they love? Would they sacrifice themselves? Others?

She would possibly sacrifice herself if it was someone she was close with, but would not ask the same of anyone else.

15. How do they kill? Do they try to minimize suffering? (again, while in active service)

Quickly and efficiently, or well...bomber role.

20. Are they codependent? Do they have abandonment issues? (i'm sorry but i had to, i know it's low hanging fruit 😘)

Oh she's definitely co-dependent. They gave the Tomcat separation anxiety.

Kirill AND Romeo, i want to compare them for Science Reasons:

2. How much death and/or destruction have they wrought?

Romeo- Active service in 'nam. He has a bodycount.

Kirill- Didn't see much action in his active service.

3. Do they try to prevent unnecessary suffering?

Romeo- No.

Kirill- Listen this guy is trying to put you down as quickly as possible, take that as you will.

9. What do they regret the most?

Romeo- It may be the 1am brain talking, but I can't think of any regrets besides not having a higher killcount.

Kirill- His service record is as clean and empty as a freshly abandoned Wal-Mart.

16. What haunts them?

Romeo- Dead and scrapped squad mates.

Kirill- Romeo.

and last but probably the longest and hardest one to answer: for the entire Lonestars crew, Kirill, Walker, Brooker, Toby and Leo's squad

10. Do they have the ability to love?

(feel free to ignore that one, that would be so much work to answer lmaoooo)

bOI

Listen the machine men we know don't love in the same way we do, even the more advanced fellas and gals like Walker and Delta. Could you argue that they feel something like it? Probably.

Toby definitely does, though he has much more familial bonds than romantic.

[jupiter-reimagined]

As soon as Kali gets his new (strong) prescription glasses and he sees Butcher (like actually sees) for the first time in months, he's like "Wow you're so handsome." (I wanted to bring back Kali's line "You're even more breathtaking than I remember" from the reunion post, but Kali glared at me not to use his line to Stone. Party pooper.)

Anyways, uhh, Kali's going to find out a way for Butcher to stay just a little while longer. How is he figure that out? Who knows, but he'll certainly try.

butcher stays for a few days after kali gets his glasses. he wants to make sure hes gonna be fine on his own and can adjust, and so he can get used to the layout of the ranch again

then he just looks at him like "well.. youre healed now. and i aint gonna bother ya much longer. but its good to see your eyes again, doll." <- fellas, is it gay to call the guy youve been looking after for weeks/months "doll"? cuz butcher doesnt think it is

[ambrosialdesire]

Unc ur a furry for the zzz fella. I LOVE THAT PINK HAIRED HIRL FROM THERE SHE IS SO CUNTY

-🌷

NICOLE ‼️ her whole group are such dummies, but they’re all very sweet dumbasses and yeah, i’ve known about lycaon since the beta stages and he’s so fine idc atp 😩😩

and i enjoy how bouncy everything is, it’s such an interesting design choice and very cartoony compared to genshin and star rail (though zzz is like more noticeably weird about the children/child-like characters designs unfortunately, like aint no way she should be wearing the shortest shorts and the skimpiest tank top on earth 😭😭); very fun overall, i’ve been playing it the entire time since its released and i fr should be studying 💀💀

also i lost my 50/50 on the limited banner and i want to scream cause i wanted the shark maid girl so bad (i think her name is ellen) 😭😭 i would literally accept anyone but soldier 11 bruh and since i have lycaon (GOT HIM ON THE STANDARD BANNER FIRST TRY 😫🤞), i wanted to make the whole team the maids/butler cause ik it’s like hella strong or sumn meta or whatever

i have like 17-18 days left, i think i can still manage to get her soon though cause idk any of the future banners atm so i don’t have any reason to save for anyone yet

[onlyathief]

oh, okay, well hell! maybe that gift was goin' strong after all if she were gonna be volleyin' jokes back at him. he hadn't felt this giddy and sick with anxiety about talkin' to a girl since he was jus' a bébé.

so much so that when rogue shifted to allow him to see her phone screen he felt his breath catch in his throat the smallest bit and his heart stuttered. god damn she smelled nice.

(what in the whole fuck was wrong with him?)

"oh-" oh shit, that fella was blue hell, it was freaky in a kind of fascinating way, like when folks wore their hair spiked and all manner of metal piercing their extremities. hell, furry, glowing eyes, and were those fangs?

"damn good looks be runnin' through y'family like yall be a marathon," he whistled low, sincerity marked by the way he gazed at the photo longer than was probably warranted.

"any reason he be blue and you aint?"

What Remy assumed was charm falling short-could be accurate. Was probably accurate…had he been using that line on another girl. But Gambit hit a stroke of luck in that Rogue was still entertained by his lame joke. His chuckle was forced, but the Southern Girl’s smile was not as she turned her attention from Jean and Scott and back to Remy standing next to her.

"My word, this has only been thinkin'? What's the actual thing then?" Literally asking for trouble wasn't she? But it was so surprising that Rogue hadn't thought what came after that question through in the slightest. The prospect of his answer was both thrilling and anxiety inducing. So she tried to delay it with a subject shift.

"If it helps any, I already got a brother and I'm not lookin' for another one." Perhaps it was a test and perhaps it wasn't. It was possible Rogue just wanted to show off a photo. But it was also true that even among mutants those with obvious physical mutations were often treated with fear. Sure, Remy had those startlingly alluring red and black eyes. But she still hoped to see a favorable reaction in them as she pulled up the most recent snapshot of Kurt and herself on her phone and tilted the screen to show the cajun.

"He's not with the X-Men right now." She explained, green eyes watching Remy's expression for a shift.

[matchamabs]

I know you didn’t ask for it but- BOTW MONSTERS: RANKED BY HOW HOT THEY ARE,,,,

i do fuck all in the days lemme tell ya

ill admit i havent done EVERY enemy but like. i do enjoy making these posts so who knows, i might actually rank everything sooner or later 🤷‍♀️

,,,,, and if u want a specific ranking of botw/aoc stuff lmk 👀

ahh the ol reliable. the classic bokoblin. he is just a little lad! unfortunately they’re genuinely kind of ugly??? and the idk the singular horn in the middle aint a good look. i see cute comics abt these guys being domestic and thats adorable but also giving them so much leeway bc they’re really Not that cute. not sure what the loincloth is hiding and im not sure i wanna know anyway. 3/10 really kind of. not good. 

slightly bigger loincloth only means slightly bigger things to hide :( i rlly hate these guys noses and whatever the fuck toenails they have why do they have toenails?????? s’bad. the thing is tho they have the proportions of a potentially attractive gerudo which is probably what takes the edge off the general vibes of... u know... being an abomination. its also only JUST occured to me as im writing that these guys r just evolved bokoblins so. glow up i guess. 6/10 what that tongue do

ok bypassing whatever the fuck rule 34 has done to these guys, i actually dig them. i find the huge fat ones way cuter than the lil bug eyed ones. in their case theres rlly no, like... hotness about them. its just cute. i think they’re cute. any monster that is cute and also doubles up as a bed gets my vote 7/10 get urself a fella as flexible as these guys 

u know what, im gonna say it, these guys r actually kinda hot. proportions arent super bad, the face aint bad and generally they have good vibes. aside from, u know, when they’re tryna shank u. id say one of the most bearable monsters to have to look at. 8/10 im not a scalie

??????????? idk what to say. u could tie these little shits to like swingball poles and beat them with rackets thatd b good. aside from that these guys have like no redeeming qualities. they’re a pain in the ass and not in a good way. 3/10 cute but like. is it worth it?

i mean,,,,,,,, someones probably into it. i dont like these guys for a lot of reason and surprisingly the thing that gets me is the fucking hair why does it have that hair its like he-man just went straight over the top with an electric razor its not a good look!!! stop trying to make it work! it wont! and again with the loincloth??? im not into it. the only thing i like abt these guys is the lil waistcoats. they have some amount of decency (but the implications it makes are Not Good). uh. 2/10. barely.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

,,,,,9/10. but if you see a lynel up close like that chances are you died about half a minute ago

again. ??? i dont rlly like. i mean. im digging the top heavy proportions? its got the same body type as kass so like. 4/10. bit plain around the features but what can u do. i dont understand how but the igneo taluses are like. sexier 

UGHGHHH I FUCKING HATE THESE THINGS okay okay okay like these motherfuckers lure u in by being quite cute and dancin around and then u get a look at their faces and its like fucking JESUS and its even WORSE when you see under their cloak and they have no necks????? and like????? they do that gay little fucking dance that pisses me off???? they’re wearing hoods that give the ILLUSION that they have necks and im im fumin ok i HATE it i hate it i have been betrayed and i will NEVER FORGET ABOUT IT UGHGHGHG I HATE THESE CUNTS -10000000000000000000000000000000000/10 die

hhhhh i just dont like em. theyre too annoying to be cute now. and whats gonna happen if i squeeze one? is like. water gonna come out? r they just gonna deflate? 4/10 tentacles are not hyrules forte it seems ://

trust kohga to send the twinks out on the front line. seriously. they’re not bad tho? kinda small and underwhelming :((( tho i give extra points for the good crazy laugh we love a good manic cackle 6/10 they dont really count as monsters but ah well where else am i gonna put em

now THATS what im talkin about babeyyyyy we love the muscles,,,,, the posture,,, the stride,,, we love it when u fuck up stealth and a torrential downpour of these motherfuckers come down to beat ur ass,,,,, 9/10 its raining men 😎

u know. u dont rlly like. get a good view of these guys when ur balls deep in a battle with them, but the more i get like closer looks at them the more i go ???? like idk. everything about them looks backwards and wrong. but as far as backwards and wrong goes its not a bad look and the boss theme is a banger so 4/10 maybe dont jump on my ass every time i step one foot onto the desert :/

i just. i dont dig it. idk why. aside from the fact they’re a monumental pain in my ass, and now everytime i hear a beep even slightly resembling a guardian i shit my pants, but. idk??? as far as robots go its not like. terrible. they’re like the milfs of robots. the milves, if u will. a rilf. except i wouldnt. so its more like riwlf. but even that leaves too much up to interpretation so im just gonna call em a cunt and go. 4/10 leg game strong

here we are,,, the big boys,,,, waterblight isnt too bad i will admit, but the spear hand is both annoying and mildly inconvenient. its got a rlly big chest but rlly thin arms?? also not sure how i feel abt the strap on beard but oh well its not like ganons got taste. 5/10 kind of average for a blight i think

a hefty motherfucker. a chunk of a lad. big large. the fact this is like one of the easiest blights makes it more forgiveable to me but like whatever its got going on with the 80s hair needs 2 be sorted out. i like its moves but it doesnt hang upside down like waterblight :((( 5/10 calm down kate bush

ok who doesnt like gun arms. and a gun back. this things like fuckin megatron. the whole face plate thing doesnt look bad either. honestly its kind of a look? but its dickheadery in aoc makes me wanna set shit on fire so :// 6/10 hot but will not leave u alone 😔

ok this one is by FAR the sexiest of all the blights. i just cant explain it. i like guys with bad posture. i had an easy time beating it but apparently its given other people a lot of grief and that makes it 10x more sexy to me lmaooo. also it can clone itself which is like. thats a win. 8/10 ganon spilt all the sexy juice into this one

ok i didnt realise how many arms this motherfucker has and the whole hairline behind the ears thing is not a great look. especially w the beard. in fact the longer i look at it the less sexy it becomes tbh. 3/10 they tried to make arachnophobia sexy and it didnt work

10/10 i will be taking questions in my inbox but i wont be taking constructive criticism and you cant make me 

[kanemayfield]

5 Reggae Party Rules (for ladies)

1. If he is talking to you & is over the age of 40, yall go together. At least till the end of the evening. It will be gunshots if you get the fraternizing. Keep it moving or choose wisely. Your name is now "Di Dautah".

But be aware... sugar daddy.... and people factory... are NOT mutually exclusive. This 57yr old man will make his fingers like a gun and shoot your club right up. His nickname is the fertile crecent. You'll be pregnant... and then a whole bunch of them old songs gonna start making sense.

You: Godfrey... I'm pregnant..

Yard Don: ...hmmmm mmmmh.... mi seed strong.......

Then tell you how well all 23 of his pickney are doing in life like you need to be happy about it. The gods chose you.

BTW he's rounding down at 23... sun don't know the real number. And will call you and them kids 4 different names till he gets it right. This man been a gyalist since the Reagan era and when he brushes his teeth it sounds like an exorcism.

You might be confused... and that's good. Cause when that last line makes sense it's too late.

2. If he buys you a drink, and he is young... he's got good manners. Now polygraph him for the secret family and/or domestic violence gene.. cause you might have found you a husband in here. If his mom is really nice but his grandma calls you "road gyal" and "wata bug" or "whore foot" or some crazy shit... thats the real McCoy. Plan the wedding and know his mom don't like you either.

But...

If he bought you a drink and he is 50+... he is a drug dealer.

But.. he is a classy one. He drives an 89 BMW.

He is like the boxwine of drug dealers. You see that nugget watch... its bank... be impressed by it.

If he has the matching nugget ring and bracelet he been hustling since your dad was in High School and his gun got bodies on it. He still got a closet full of Dapper Dan suits that he's looking for an excuse to wear. His beeper number is older than his last 2 girlfriends. That may sound 🚩but there is something to be said for a man who does not change. Also a 68yr old west indian man isn't playing around either... homey been a coxman since Sparrow Meets The Dragon and is doped up on all types of sea moss and tiger balms and fuck powders. He got a whole draw full of enhancements to ensure he can put ur pum pum on the injured reserve list. No one wears a vintage Stetson hat if they can't sling dick... store won't even sell em to you without references.

Oh... and he will pistol whip one of these young Thundercats for getting fresh with you... him... the bartender... for wearing white after labor day... anything. All of it. He lives on go mode. Got a whole song about his mindset

3. If you are even moderately attractive dudes are gonna just start dancing with you w/out asking.

Dancing is rubbing his dick on you. Know that this comes with your price of admission.

Note for you fellas... you are gonna want to maintain an appropriate level of trouser discipline here. Yes these rules are for ladies but some of yall jokers are wilding.

Proper etiquette dictates & demands... quarter chub. Not more... not less.

It cant be nothing... trust me... nothing is bad. Too much is worse.

Do not bring your raging erection to a party such as this. An old lady is gonna hit you with a purse wild times as they chase you out for being a “dutty rapscallion” or some English sounding shit like that. So quarter chub... its proper presentation levels. Enough to indicate interest, but not land yourself on a watchlist for being some sort of fuck goblin. Don't be the guy known as “too horny” for a Trinidadian birthday... they national export is homewreckers. Word.

Anyway if you don't want to have dick rubbed on your ass (or the middle of your back if you're short) then stay home or sit down in the booth with Boxwine. He aint dancing less Police In Helicopter come on. That will mostly consist of mild hopping on one foot with a hand in the air.

No... he doesn't expect you to do it with him. It's like the humpty... but for weed. But if he starts skanking... you can go get some shit from your car and come back.... thats like the old yardie man version of vouging on a runway. That shit is the ital cripwalk... legendary.

But everybody didn’t wear Clarks here, which brings me to the young Jamaicans. Watch the fuck out for these young yardie yoot dem. Hes not like the Yard Don over there. This nigga don't wanna dance... he wanna do WWF moves on you.

Yeah.... you see that... those are the arm gestures of a man that don't care about your safety. He aint here for a good time.. he's here for a fucking ladder match.

Yes.... thats right.... he jumped on her back for a horsey ride.... and that is how he starts. I love you... I care... so if he tries to dance with you and starts by telling everyone to back up. Run. He is gonna do the stone cold stunner on you and dutty whine over your concussed frame. While his friends cheer him on, wave homemade blowtorches in the air, and don't call you an ambulance. Talking bout "she nuh ready yet".

Just dont...

Theres no solidarity here... bitches will step over you like Allen Iverson talking bout "big ooman ting dis" and enter the octagon with that nigga. This shit is a royal rumble.

4. Everyone makes their fingers like a gun.. it's the guy that DOESN'T that has one.

Watch out for that guy.. he bought u a drink.

If this is a REAL party than there is a 70% chance it's not in a "club" club. It could be in the basement of a house... or at a Knights Of Columbus or a VFW (which is just a house we don't mind if you break). The lower the deposit the worse the security.

And security is someone's uncle... and he ain't dying for your safety. Mind your mannerisms. If it's dark... and you see a crew of women got a bright camera light in they face... they talking shit to it in between slow whining on air... wearing bright pastels... yeah.... just dont.... they with the shits. Don't even matter... whatever you with... they with it...whatever kind of smoke... brisket... choo choo train... colorful smoke. All of it.

Oh.. you thought she was "DONE" dancing with him... naah sis... she cyan dun.... and now you getting jumped by the trenchtown Powerpuff Girls and they washing you out to a cutty ranks song. No one will stop dancing... apparently you wanted to test they rocket launcher.

5. If you are not west indian... remember.... twerking shall never defeat whining. This is law.. The world has led you astray. All the Dominican surgical's can't help you here.. you built like a freshly pulled tooth 🦷 and can't dance for shit. That skinny girl giving you all the work. She is rolling her eyes at YOU.. yeah... this is her kingdom girl... she can't fill out windbreaker pants but will blow you off the dance floor. You are outside your jurisdiction ma.

Everybodys looking. We secretly look at you the way you look at white people dancing... with amused pity.

Yes... we know the words to all these songs.

Yes.. the Dj asked you if your pussy is good.

Yeah.. thats normal... its actually a compliment.

Yeah he shouted it... he gonna shout over all this shit.

Yes that old man IS checking you out.

No.. you can't go upstairs. Because the uncles that aren't allowed down here for monstrous reasons are up there lurking...

NO you DON'T want to meet them... some of them niggas ain't allowed to babysit.

Don't eyeball those broads... they a different kind of ratchet.

The backyard is for smokers and dudes trying to take you home TONIGHT.... list goes on.

The best dick you've ever had is here but you don't want it... it'll be administered by a nigga named Fitzroy St Joseph McCloud who will get your number very calmly while two women fight over him on the front lawn. This man will exhale and look you right in the eyes and say "you know... I don't know what all that excitement is about. Some people just shouldn't drink". This man has 47 children.

This can seem a bit overwhelming to the uninitiated.

People will ask you what you "are". They want to know what kind of west indian your family is so they can play the averages of how to proceed. They will look dissapoint when you go "im just plain old black". They hit you wit the ohhh... awwww.... well thats ok... are you have fun? Like you told them ur in a wheelchair.

That can be uncomfortable so just pick some 3rd tier country and claim it (parkway rules). If you are unclear with the tier system ask a Jamaican, Trini, or Guyanese. Those are your 1st tier west indians. Then you got your Bajans, Grenada, and ill let Aruba and VI fight it out for "other places who can't make patty for shit but you can still get shot."

Bahamas, Bermuda, or Saint (Anything). Those places have low gun violence and inferior curry. Be them... we will expect less of you lol.

Ok... don't do your face like that... if a Yankee called you a coconut I'm right there with you to help you stomp em out with unlaced timbs. We are family.... this is home talk... you KNOW yall niggas don't count like that.

You think St. Barts be ringing off like that? If you don't have a parade truck on the parkway... you're not a real country. The president of your country teaches scuba at the Hyatt. Your army wears cargo shorts and sandals. I don't make the rules. Get your crime rate up or accept your place in the pecking order. Curacao is a shitty mixer.. not a place. Aint no nigga from Nassau gonna do shit besides braid your hair or overcharge you for a cruise activity.

Oh and honorary mentions to Haiti. They give it up.... but these rules don't even work for yall. Picture an old Haitian man.... you better HOPE he aint buy you a drink. Most of the time it just ain't happening anyway. He gonna look wild offended like you tried to put a finger in his butt... and tell you have some water.

These are the rules.... buss a whine in good health

Love'

Kane

[olivereliocorcordium1983]

Well I just got done watching svu and organized crime and I have got to say, I am very sick of the will they or not bullshit with Elliot and Olivia.

Either put them together romantically or not! Stop yanking everybody around writers. Im mean damn i am all for slow burn, build up, angst, and high strong sexual tension I am there for it baby! But come on...

You gave us a reunion between Meloni and Tergeson in "Savior" and they gave me the Keller and Beecher vibe! And they even kissed on the bloopers but damnit that was still something!

If you can do that then why do you have to drag this shit out with Elliot and Benson? This aint Tom and Jerry! 😑

Stop playing with the characters feelings and Elliot you need to start saying what you fucking mean sir!

And dont even get me started with fucking Kathy man... lady, you are nor as bad as she who must not be named within the beautiful fandom of Charmies but you are damn near close.

If you are that damn insecure about your husband having a strong and close friendship with another woman when he has stayed loyal to you for as long as he fucking has. Then you should have never married a cop to begin with.

Im not even fucking married and I know that you have to have trust, respect and loyalty between you and the person you are with. If you don't it won't work. 🙄

And doing what you did you had no business doing it! Period whatever happens between E and O is stictly between E and O!

But Elliot Olivia, you guys need to get your shit together and learn how to do shit the right way from the other E and O I love.

Right fellas?

[jusiri]

Idk whether you mean Trans Guy Hiccup or Alvin the Ally but honestly my stance on headcannons is at any point I am willing to alter them to whatever is the Funniest lol

Essentially

Slightly sad but also funny concept of Book Hiccup being a trans guy Hiccup realizes he's trans and does most of his transition during one of the long stretches of time that Valhallarama is gone, so when she gets back she's just like "Hmmm, could have sworn i had a daughter..................... oh well"