#hes soooo embarrassed......... th curse............

[dnangelic]

so far in just about every other universe he will find some way to fall hopelessly in love with somebody who also for w/e reason happens to hate dark and will get really sad about it

[adarlingwrites]

Leave it to the Wind

Summary: Between deadlines, an awful transport system, and aswangs lurking about in the shadows, you have much to worry about as a college student in Manila, and it's so much that your social life is practically dead. Your wind people roommates want to help you remedy that.

Words: 9343

Relationships: The Kambal/Reader (Crispin/Reader/Basilio)

Warnings: Adult content, alcohol, brief scene of sexual harassment

Author’s Notes: God, the fandom is so thirsty for the Kambal, and so am I. Finally, some Filipino himbo representation.

The premise is: Hannah and Amie decides to play matchmaker. Hilarity ensues. Smut ensues. Please be nice, I based the characterizations of the character on the Netflix series and Trese wiki pages since I couldn't get my hands on the original comics yet oof. Some words, like terms of endearment and curse words, will remain in Filipino. Translations are provided. Reader is AFAB and is referred to with female pronouns.

Reposting this from AO3 with all three chapters in one post. A Filipino (Taglish) translation is in the works!

I

You don’t know how they managed to convince you, to be honest.

You rarely ever go out at night anymore. So many strange incidents transpire in Manila’s narrow streets. Just recently, you’ve heard of a new story about a tikbalang who allegedly participated in illegal street races.

So when your roommates and friends Amie and Hannah invited you for a night out, you hesitated. You gave them every excuse you can think of; you needed to do laundry, you needed to study, you needed to finish a project, and so on.

You know that the two of them are wind people, but you can’t help but think. Which of the various stories you had been hearing are real? What else in this world you haven’t witnessed yet?

“Aw, you’re such a buzzkill! Pretty please? You don’t go out with us as often. Enjoy yourself a little,” Amie whines, lying on the sofa of your living room.

On the other hand, Hannah turns to you with a mischievous grin on her face. “C’mon, get dressed already,” she commanded. “There are some total hotties we’d like you to meet! One of them might catch your eye!”

“I told you, I don’t need a relationship. You two try this every week. How do you even know so many people?” you retort, laughing softly at yourself.

“Well, our night lives are active,” Hannah retorted. “Don’t forget our sex lives!” the other added. Hearing those words, you felt your face get flushed with heat.

You needed a good fuck.

“Damn it, fine! As long as you pay for me.”

They finally got you to say yes.

As the night went on, you went to several bars, and you swore that you had explored every crevice of the city. It doesn’t help that the guy Amie and Hannah were with, a tall, dark and handsome man with flowing locks of black hair, drove like a demon. You got around quickly in no time.

Around an hour after midnight, you’re all exhausted from a night of dancing and mingling. None of the people your friends introduced to you caught your attention. At that point, you just wanted a stiff drink to unwind.

Voicing it to your drinking buddies, they nod in agreement.

“I know just the place, in Malate,” the man you’re with said. “Quiet. Discreet. I can take you there, if you want.”

“You mean The Diabolical, right? Let’s go! Text Crispin and Basilio, they might be hangin’ there too,” Amie croons.

A chuckle escapes your lips upon hearing their names. “Huh? Were they named after the characters in Jose Rizal’s novel?”

“I think so? Whatever! But seriously though… Those two can totally make you scream their names louder than Sisa ever did! Best lay I ever had!”

The remark made you laugh so hard, you swore you can be heard in the next city. “What the fuck! Amie, gaga ka, Sisa was their mom! The context of that scene was rough.”

Hannah’s mischievous grin spreads on her face once more, and she gently elbows your side. “Well, if you’re lucky, in this context you’d be crying their names while your eyes roll to the back of your head.”

You’ll never admit it, but you had hoped all their teasing would come true.

It didn’t take long for the four of you to reach your destination. As you enter The Diabolical, a strange chill envelopes you. The air feels different inside; it’s almost as if you stepped in a different world. Perhaps it’s the alcohol, but when you looked around, you saw a duwende sitting by the bar. Or was it called a nuno? At the end of the bar, you saw them; two men both dressed in black suits. One has short hair, while the other one has longer, reaching past his shoulders. However, they’re facing away from you. Only the back of their head and part of their cheeks were visible where you stood.

You snapped out of it when the man you three are with spoke up. “I’m gonna call it a night. Have fun, you three.”

“For real? Wow Maliksi, this is the first time I ever saw you wanting to leave early. Aren’t you gonna stop by and say hi to Alex?” Hannah asks him.

“Maybe next time,” Maliksi answers back, a somber expression on his face. “Oh em gee, did you two fight? Wait, what are you two?” Amie asks.

“Whatever. It’s complicated. I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Your friends nodded and let Maliksi be. He waves at your group, and heads out the door. The engine of his car roars to life, and his car screeches away.

As the car moved farther away though, it seems that the screeching of the tires turned into hoofbeats.

Perhaps it’s just your imagination.

“Amie! Hannah! Have a drink! Hey, who’s that with you? Is that the person you’ve been wanting us to meet for ages now?”

Your head turns to where the voice was coming from; one of the men in the suits, the one with short hair in particular. You finally had a good look on their faces.

Twins?

“Crispin! Meet our friend! This is…”

As Amie and Hannah introduce you to the Twins, you can’t help but stare. You took the sight of their features in; they’re tall, with broad shoulders, and hard muscle underneath that black suit and white tie ensemble. They have wide noses with a high bridge, prominent bone structure, and a prominent widow’s peak.

Merciful Bathala, they’re gorgeous.

What caught your attention the most are their eyes. They're pitch black, save for the small reflection of light.

Are these people even human?

“Stare at them like that any longer and they might melt,” Amie teases. The two of your friends are giving you an ear-splitting grin due to your reaction to the Twins.

“I, uh-” you stuttered, and you could feel the heat rising in your cheeks.

“Hey, don’t be shy. You can sit between us, miss. We’re all friends here,” the twin with the longer hair says. If the other one is Crispin, then this must be Basilio.

Behind you, your friends are already giggling. They took their places next to the twins and leaned on their biceps. Across from you, the bartender comes to take your order.

“What’ll it be, kid?” he asks.

For some reason, you’re panicking. Maybe it’s because of the alcohol in your system. Or maybe it’s because you’re sandwiched between the twins. “Uh, what would you recommend, manong?”

Laughter erupted from the twins. “Hank, she called you manong!” Basilio teases while grinning like a fucking dog. “Geez, are you really that old?” Crispin eggs him on, giving him a shit-eating grin. Hank takes a wet rag he uses to wipe down the countertop and strikes the two down. “You goddamn assholes!”

You couldn’t stop yourself from laughing with them.

“Ow! Alright, we’re sorry, we’re sorry. Get them the best seller, Hank. We’ll pay for their tab,” Basilio says, and Hannah and Amie squeals with joy.

“Oh em gee, you boys are so sweet! Thank youuu!”

As Hank prepares you a drink, you try conversing with the twins. “You two seem fun to have as drinking buddies.”

Hank turns around to reach a bottle from the shelf. “Those two are mischievous little shits, that’s for sure. You know, when these two were kids...”

“Hey man, don’t embarrass us like that in front of our new friend,” Crispin whines.

While the three continues fucking around, you leaned back slightly to glimpse at Amie, who was trying to get your attention for a while now. She points to her phone, and you fetch yours from your bag.

You read your group chat with them. “Soooo, do you like, like them?” Hannah’s message said.

“You’re into them aren’t you? You got so shy around them, it’s so cute!” Amie’s message said.

“Right? It’s rare to see you so flustered!”

You typed away furiously at your phone, cautious to not let the twins beside you see the conversation.

“Well, they’re an improvement from the ones you introduced me to earlier. Easier on the eyes, too…”

Your friends giggled, and as their drinks arrived, they stood up. “Girl, we’re gonna leave you with them, there’s some super hot tikbalangs who just came in the bar. Byeeee!”

“Hey, wait!”

They didn’t heed your words and went to sit on the tikbalangs’ laps.

Fuck, tikbalangs are real? Is Maliksi a tikbalang too?

“And off they go, flirting with those beasts after they’ve used us for drinks,” Crispin laments, voice dripping with light-hearted sarcasm.

“It’s not like it’s the first time we got used by them though,” Basilio adds, cringing.

You can’t help but laugh.  “Yeah, I’ve heard.”

Basilio’s head whips towards you, sweat gathering on his brow. “Seriously?! Shit, what did they say about us?”

“All good things, don’t you worry,” you answered.

“Nah, I need to hear what they said word for word,” the twin with long hair responds. “This is making me paranoid!”

Crispin moves closer to you, Basilio puts a friendly arm around your shoulder, and you can only smile. All of you are inebriated and if you were sober, and if someone else dared to get this close to you, you might’ve slapped them. But you feel good about the Twins, and your roommates never put you in harm’s way, so your trust for them extended to the brothers, somehow.

“Just tell us already,” Crispin slurs. “Tell us what they said about us. We’re curious.”

“Fine, fine. Okay, Amie and Hannah mentioned your names when Maliksi suggested that we head here to drink. Then, I mentioned that your names came from Rizal’s novels.”

“Then Amie said,” you continued, pausing briefly to come up with an impression of your roommate’s speech. “‘Seriously though… Those two can totally make you scream their names louder than Sisa ever did! Best lay I ever had!’ Fuck, it was so messed up!”

“That’s messed up, alright,” Basilio sputters, his face a deep shade of crimson. “I’m this hot and those are the only details they can spare?!”

“Ok, but that Sisa joke was kind of funny though. But it was still fucked up,” Crispin adds, and he takes a sip of his drink.

“Hold your horses, the story’s not done yet,” you say. You’re starting to feel more confident around the two.

Your conversation went places, until you found yourselves drinking until three in the morning, and at that point, it’s only just the four of you in the bar; Hank, the Twins, and you. Even Hannah and Amie are nowhere to be seen. Knowing them, they probably took the tikbalangs they were flirting with back to your apartment.

They didn’t even wait for you. Looks like they’re really setting you up tonight. Maybe they wanted the apartment to themselves tonight, and they got exactly what they wanted.

You had planned on getting up to go to the restroom, but when you tried standing up, you almost fell from the chair. The Twins caught you before you landed face first against the floor.

“She’s had enough to drink,” Hank comments. They set you on a chair with a backrest. “How will she get home? We can’t send her off in a cab at this rate. The train doesn't run this late either.”

“Hannah left her behind too,” Crispin adds.

“Hey, how are we gonna deal with this?” Basilio asks. “We can get you home once we sober up a little. It’s fine if you-”

Basilio never got to finish what he was going to say, because you nodded off against his stomach, and puked your lunch out.

You don’t remember anything after that.

When you awaken, the sun is already high up, and the first thing that greets you is the fan in the ceiling. Your muscles are screaming at you, and your throat feels dry. Memories of last night came crashing back and you started sweating in horror. Maybe it’s just a drunken dream, but it felt all too real.

You were flirting with these gorgeous twins, had too much to drink, and at some point puked all over one of the twins’ shoes.

And now, you don’t know whose bedroom you are in. You check yourself, and you’re still wearing the same clothes, with nothing out of place. There are no bruises or marks on your body either. You looked around you, but there was no one else in the room.

The doors crack open slightly, and you see two pairs of void-black eyes.

“I… um… good morning?”

“It’s… already 2 in the afternoon,” one of them says. He has long hair. This one is the twin you threw up on.

“Why don’t you have some lunch?” the other one said.

You just nodded and said nothing else, ashamed of yourself. You threw up on one of them and now you’re eating at their table. You just wanted the ground to swallow you alive.

“Sorry for puking on you last night,” you near-whispered to Basilio after you swallowed your first bite of food.

The silence broke when Crispin roared with laughter, tears pooling at the corner of his eyes. Meanwhile, Basilio was glaring daggers at his brother. He’s frowning like a child whose toy got taken from him. “Sure, keep laughing, kuya.”

“I’ll never show my face here again, I promise,” you say to them, hiding your face behind your hands.

“What’re you talking about? Forget about it. We’re friends now, right?” Basilio tells you, smiling. “But next time, vomit on my brother too.”

“No one’s throwing up because I won’t be allowing any of you to get wasted that bad ever again,” Hank announces as he enters the room with a carafe in his hand. “Bossing’s not gonna like it if the bar ends up smelling as bad as Basilio’s room. Here, have some coffee.”

“We should introduce you to bossing next time too. She’s not here at the moment,” Crispin adds. “Let’s do this again next week.”

The invitation made you smile, and you poured yourself a cup of coffee. You continued eating the rest of your meal.

“...my room doesn’t smell that, right?” Basilio asks after a few moments of silence.

“Gago, it stinks so bad. It’s why we made the guest stay at my room, because if she stayed at yours she could’ve died from how bad it is,” Crispin exclaims. “Seriously, how can you live with bringing women to your room at that point?”

“Kuya, you’re embarrassing me to our guest!”

Translations for non-Filipino speaking folks:

bossing: a somewhat affectionate way to say “boss”. Comes from the old tradition of adding -eng or -ing to ones name to make a nickname, e.g. Luciana - Lucing

Gago/gaga (ka): (you) idiot/moron - someone stupid, foolish or ignorant

Tikbalang: creature from Filipino mythology similar to a centaur. They are hulking beasts with a horse's head.

manong: a term for endearment to an elderly male relative, or elderly men in general. Originally an Ilokano term referring to the first born son in a nuclear family.

kuya: big brother. Can be used to refer to one's own older brother, someone else's older brother, or an older peer or male acquaintance.

II

Author’s Notes: This chapter was heavily inspired by Bita and the Botflies' song Manghuhula.

Warnings: brief scene of sexual harrassment

After washing up, the Twins accompanied you to the gate, exchanging glances at each other behind your back. Little did they know, you definitely noticed it.

“Wait,” Basilio says, tapping your shoulder lightly with a large hand.

Crispin takes his phone out of his pocket. His younger brother proceeds to do the same. “Give us your phone. We’ll add our numbers, and you can text us if something happens,” he says.

“Or when you get home safe,” Basilio adds.

You look at the two of them back and forth. “This isn’t just an elaborate excuse for the two of you to get my number, right?”

Neither of the two spoke, giving each other a nervous glance.

Their reaction made you laugh out loud, and you took out your phone from your bag. “Here. I’ll give you my Facespace too.”

With the tension broken, the three of you exchange a chuckle. You punch in your number in their phones, while they did the same to yours. Crispin looks over his brother’s shoulder and frowns.

“Epal,” Crispin says to his brother, snatching your phone away from him. The older twin types something in, and it’s the younger one’s turn to stick his nose in. Basilio attempts to get the phone back, cursing all the time.

“You’re going to break her phone, gago,” the older twin curses, pushing a palm against Basilio’s face. “Then let it go! You’re the epal, I wasn’t done yet,” the younger one snaps back.

You give them a look of irritation, and check out what they’re arguing about.

“What the hell are you two grown-ass men fighting about?” you ask as you butt in to look at what they’re doing.

A loud snort bubbles from you as you see it; Basilio added “the hot twin” next to his contact name. Crispin added “the hotter twin”. Now, the former wanted to outdo his older brother.

Against your better judgment, you say, “You’re twins. You look like each other. You’re both hot. Now stop fighting over my phone.”

Perhaps it’s the afternoon heat, but there is a tinge of red in their cheeks after your remark. You waved them goodbye as you got in a tricycle that’ll get you to the nearest train station.

The MRT, in some strange miraculous twist of fate, isn’t as packed as usual. It’s still populated, but there were a few seats waiting to be taken. You sit down somewhere away from direct sunlight, and you take out your phone to tell Hannah and Amie that you’re on the way home.

The first thing you see is a text from Basilio. Then, a text from Crispin. You tell them both that you’re on the train now, completely forgetting about messaging your roommates. To pass the time, you launch the Facespace app and decide to look up their profiles, only to find out that they’ve already sent you a friend request.

Upon seeing Crispin’s profile, you did your damn best to stifle a laugh.

His work description says “works at the Krusty Krab,” but that wasn’t the craziest thing about his profile. At first, the Bible verse in his bio caught you off guard, thinking that someone like him didn’t seem religious, but when you quickly looked up “Ezekiel 23:20,” you did your best not to howl with laughter.

Basilio’s isn’t any better.

In his work description, he put “Model at For Her Magazine,” and “edi sa puso mo.” Then you scroll down to see a thirst trap of him pulling his shirt up with his teeth, and you can feel the heat rising to your cheeks again. Well, at least that work description is believable.

They’re- what was that term your younger university friends were using again?- himbos.

They’re definitely himbos.

Arriving at your place, you slot your key inside the doorknob and twist. As you enter the door, the heavy, musky scent of sex and sweat hits your face, and you regret getting too wasted last night and losing your chance to hook up with one of the Twins.

Or both.

Both?

Regardless, at least they’ve invited you again to hang out next week.

You raise your eyebrow and cross your arms at the scene before you. Cans of beer litter the living room, and your roommates are taking a nap by the couch. A tikbalang comes out of the bathroom, glamor off, and you snort as you watch him duck under the door frame because of his massive height.

“It’s already four in the afternoon. Time to go, big guy.”

He nods awkwardly in acknowledgment, morphing into his human disguise, and exiting your apartment.

You sit between your roommates, rousing them from their sleep. “I’m not going to clean this mess up,” you tell them, motioning to the trashed state of the living room, and reaching for the remote to turn the TV on. You just want to take a shower afterwards and sleep in your own bed tonight.

After rubbing the sleep from their eyes, your roommates near-tackles you on the couch, a curious, excited look on their faces. You forgot all about what you were watching and stared at them in surprise.

“So how did it go? Did you get to hook up with any of them?” Amie asks.

“Or both of them?” Hannah adds.

“Gaga, nothing like that happened.”

The two of them let you go with disappointed looks on their faces. “So sayang! Here we were thinking you finally have a sex life,” one of them says as you lean back on the backrest, closing your eyes as they continue to pester you for details.

“Why are you two so determined to get me to screw someone?” you finally snapped, amused and irked at the same time.

“Because you’ve been doing nothing but totally stressing yourself out! See how super fun it is to let go every now and then?”

“Thanks for the new drinking buddies, girls, but I have my fingers to keep me company. Hookups are too much work,” you lie to them, eyes still closed.

“That’s a toe-curling, full-body orgasm you’re missing out on, girl!”

“That’s assuming that the person I’m with knows what they’re doing,” you retorted.

One of them pokes your side with an elbow, and you assume it’s Hannah. “The Twins do.”

You opened your eyes, and you guessed right; it’s Hannah. You give her a look, before rolling your eyes, appearing to look disinterested. The smirk tugging at the edge of your lips says otherwise, though.

“So what happened last night?” Amie asks.

“I got wasted and threw up on Basilio’s shoes. Then, I ended up sleeping in Crispin’s room. When I woke up, they fed me and sent me home,” you tell them. Your roommates giggle at the story.

“Ah, speaking of which, I gotta let them know I got home,” you said off-hand, and somehow the remark only spurred your wind people roommates on.

“Yieee, you’re friends with them on Facespace already!” Amie quips, leaning in to see what you’re typing. Playfully, you move your phone away from her to conceal what you’re typing.

“Make a group chat with them!” Hannah exclaims, taking your phone away from you. You tried taking it back, but Amie joins in the mischief and blocks you from doing so.

When you got your phone back, the deed was done, and the chat was renamed to a single eggplant emoji. The like button was replaced by an eggplant emoji too.

Panicking, you add your roommates to the group to avoid looking suspicious, and swiftly type up a defense.

“Please ignore that, Hannah made this chat using my account.”

The teasing never stopped after that.

Weeks passed and you never bothered to change it, though.

It’s been about two months since your first encounter with the Twins. You’re becoming a familiar face at The Diabolical, going every Saturday to see them. Sometimes Hannah and Amie didn’t accompany you anymore. You’ve met the Twins’ bossing a few times, who turned out to be none other than Alexandra Trese. You’ve heard of her exploits and the two imposing bodyguards who were almost always with her. It surprised you that they’re none other than the Twins you knew, but it made perfect sense. Those two were jacked, and those muscles aren’t only for show.

Of course, because of your increasing presence in the bar, it didn’t take long for the rumors to circulate. Word on the street is both of the Twins had a thing for you, and neither is making a move out of consideration for the other. They are waiting for you to move.

You elected to ignore them, perfectly happy with your arrangement of having two handsome men to keep you company while you unwind. The thought of getting together with one of them, or even both of them did cross your mind a few times, however.

Ultimately, you wouldn’t know what to do if the day comes that you’ll have to confront how you feel and choose between the two.

Do you have to?

Crispin and Basilio are twins, but they’re distinct from each other. The older is more serious, with a dryer sense of humor, while the younger is goofier, and somewhat softer. One complements the other, and they’re both good company despite their differences.

Speak of the devil. Your phone buzzes and you see that the eggplant chat is active. The Twins are inviting you to The Diabolical again.

“See you guys at eight,” you type in. Someone reacts with an eggplant to your message. Then the next few messages were nothing but eggplant emojis, followed by Basilio sending “#TeamTalong”. Crispin cusses him out for it, but sends the same message right after.

Yeah, that became a thing among the five of you.

You and the wind girls got dressed and took a taxi to the bar, your favorite jacket draped over your shoulders. Pressured by your roommates, you wore something nicer tonight; a black faux leather dress that hugs your figure deliciously. The shiny fabric added to the effect. The six bottles of Pulang Tikbalang beer the three of you shared before going out might’ve contributed to your newfound bravado.

But now that you’re actually wearing it outside your apartment, you feel a little reluctant.

“Maybe wearing this is a bad idea,” you mutter to no one in particular, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear out of self-consciousness.

Amie taps you from behind. “Oh hush, that outfit is totally sexy,” she comments. “Finally ready to get dicked down tonight, girl?”

“Shhh, gaga ka, manong driver can hear you.”

That didn’t deter them from making more inappropriate comments, much to the manong's ire.

It’s nine already when you get there, you’re in the Philippines after all. The merriment is already in full swing when you step through the door. Hannah and Amie went ahead and sat next to their lay of the week. The Twins wave you over from their usual spot, but before you can reach them, a man you’ve never seen before tries to get your attention, snaking an arm around your waist.

“Hey baby. You’re a regular here, right? Want to drink with me?”

“Sorry, I’m here with someone else,” you tell him, moving away.

“Ah, here to see the Twins? Why don’t you ditch them for a change of pace and come with me, babe?”

“Not interested,” you flat out said. “Please move, or I’ll make you move.”

To your surprise, the man drops his glamor and reveals himself to be a kapre. He looms over you, cigar in his mouth, and you can feel the tension rising. People are starting to stare, and your friends took notice of it too.

“Try,” he huffs, puffing smoke to your face. You give him a sour glare while trying not to cough.

Before your roommates or the Twins could come to your aid, you panicked and saw an empty bottle of Pulang Tikbalang on a nearby table. Emboldened by the alcohol in your veins, you shatter the bottle and point the jagged edge at the hulking beast, hands shaking. You are a tiny thing compared to the enormous creature before you, after all.

“Don’t you dare look down on me.”

“Already doing that, honey.”

“I’m not your honey,” you say as you press the edge against his stomach, not enough to draw blood, but hard enough to hurt.

“I love it when they fight back,” the kapre croons.

Under the haze of alcohol, you were more than ready to shove the edge in, consequences be damned.

Before things could escalate, Crispin takes the broken bottle off of your hands and steers you away from the stranger, while Basilio steps in to defuse the tension. “Hey, why don’t you back off, pal? Our friend said no. You wouldn’t want us to tell our bossing to ban you from the place because of this misunderstanding now, don’t you?”

Heart in your throat, you turn to the Twins, then to the kapre. The tree giant pauses, looking at the three of you, then smirks.

“Heh. Fine. But if you torpe whelps don’t make a move, I will.”

The giant puts his glamor back on and skulks away.

“Wow, what a jerk! He only left you alone when the boys stepped in,” Hannah quips, tossing her hair in indignation.

“You almost didn’t need rescuing, but I’d hate to help Hank mop the blood off the floor later,” Basilio comments, nudging you gently with an elbow. His eyes go a little lower from your face, and you see him look away.

You realized Crispin hasn’t let go of you yet.

“C’mon, let’s just go,” you tell everyone. Crispin proceeds to remove his hand away from your shoulder, and you take your usual seats by the bar.

The bar is loud, but the silence between the three of you is deafening. Even Hank seems to have taken notice, eyeing your usually loud and cheerful group.

“What’s up with you three? What happened back there?” the older man asks, leaning over the bar top.

“Just a handsy kapre who couldn’t take no for an answer. I won’t let it spoil the night,” you answer him.

“That’s the spirit. Holler if he tries something like that again, I’ll have him kicked out,” Hank replies, setting down three ice-cold beers in front of you guys.

Yet somehow, the conversation never livened up.

Three bottles of Pulang Tikbalang later, you’ve had enough.

“This is about what that kapre said, isn’t it?” you finally say, slightly pissed.

The Twins look at each other with guilty expressions, and simultaneously nod.

“Do you boys wanna talk about it?”

They look at each other again. “Shit, this is awkward,” Crispin comments, scratching his head. Basilio nods in agreement, uncharacteristically silent. “We didn’t want to pressure you into anything you didn’t want to do,” the older twin continues.

“Look, I don’t want to ruin my relationship with my kuya just because we’re interested in the same girl,” Basilio says. “Same here,” Crispin adds.

“So we were waiting for you to make your own move,” Basilio continues.

“Ah. So the rumors are true,” you sighed.

“We’ll accept whatever outcome there is. If you choose me, or Basilio, or neither because this is fucking messy, we totally get it,” the older twin says, leaning back to stare at the ceiling.

Now the decision rests in your hands.

“Why don’t we talk about this somewhere more private?” you ask them.

You watch as both of them gulp. “Where do you wanna talk?” Basilio asks.

“Anywhere private.”

“I just cleaned my room earlier. Why don’t we continue this there?”

You nod, and they lead you away from the bar.

Looks like it’s going to be a long night.

Translations for non-Filipino speakers:

epal: in Filipino slang, usually refers to a person who inappropriately presents himself in a situation or butts into a conversation.

kapre: a tree-giant from Filipino mythology. Often described as very tall, dark, and hairy. Almost never seen without a cigar.

sayang: literally means waste. Can be used alone as an expression similar to "what a waste!"

torpe: someone who cannot spit their romantic or sexual feelings out to a crush or love interest

III

Author’s Notes:

Warnings: Smut. Filthy smut. Writer-is-definitely-going-to-the-second-circle-of-the-Seven-Circles-of-Hell-levels-of-filthy smut. Bawal bata, tulog na. If you're under 18 please turn back.

After the door closes behind the three of you, you sit on the bed, while Crispin sits on a chair near his brother’s desk. Basilio locks the door, and leans against it, unable to look at you.

“Right. So. How are we going to deal with this?” you ask them, crossing your legs.

“Don’t ask us,” Crispin says, swiveling the chair to face you. “You’re the one caught in the middle after all.”

Curse his choice of words.

“This is too weird,” Basilio speaks up. “If you want me to unlock the door, just say the word. We can walk out of this like nothing happened.”

“And then what? Things are going to be awkward between the three of us, I just know it,” you say to him, palming the back of your neck. “Things might get awkward with Amie and Hannah too, and I live with them. I don’t want our tropa to disband just because of relationship drama.”

“What about Amie and Hannah? Is it because we have history with those two?” Crispin asks.

“They’ve been trying to set me up with either of you. The fact that they also slept with you in the past also doesn’t help. Shit, this is messy.”

“Er, um,” Basilio stutters. “That might’ve been our fault.”

You furrow your brow and cross your arms. “Keep going.”

The Twins look at each other, as if gauging who should explain the situation. “So, we remained in contact after being used as a prize for bossing’s race with Maliksi, right?” Crispin starts.

“Uh huh.”

“Well, they mentioned a third roommate in passing and joked about lending us to her. Of course we blew them off, then Amie showed us a picture of you. We got curious and asked them to introduce you,” Basilio continues.

“I didn’t expect us five to become friends. And now we’re in this mess,” Crispin adds.

You look at them back and forth, and laugh in resignation. Elbows digging against your lap and palms pressed against your face, you rub your face and run it through your hair. “Amazing. Just amazing. See, I have a problem too.”

The Twins didn’t respond, eyes fixated on you.

“I like the two of you.”

You feel the air shift around you. Basilio’s standing upright by the door now, and Crispin straightened up too. The room is so quiet, you can hear them gulp in anticipation for what will happen next.

“There. I said it. The reason why I haven’t made a move at all is because of this exact moment that I was dreading. I didn’t want to choose,” you admit, feeling the blood rush to your head. “I just wanted for us three to stay like that, drinking buddies sprinkled with sexual tension.”

“And you’re in the middle, enjoying our attention,” Crispin says, crossing his arms.

“Selfish, I know,” you admit, head hanging low.

This is it, the moment that can make or break you three.

“Us three. If only...” you whisper, only for the words to fall flat on your tongue

You stand up, gathering your things and carrying your bag. “Nevermind. What a mess we’re in. I’ll go so you two can sort things out between the two of you. It’s been a fun ride.”

Basilio doesn’t move from the door, and behind you, you can hear Crispin getting up from his seat.

“We can still make this work, right kuya?” Basilio starts, looking over your head to give his brother a knowing look.

“Yeah, I think so,” Crispin replies. “What was that you said? The three of us?”

Your eyes widen, and you look at them back and forth. Their bodies are dangerously close to yours. Now you’re literally caught in the middle.

“I- uh…”

“I think we can work out an arrangement,” Basilio whispers, one hand moving to hold yours.

“Only if you want to,” Crispin adds, his breath kissing the back of your neck.

“I don’t want to lose either of you,” Basilio adds.

“Same here.”

Damn it all.

Giving in to your darkest, most hidden desires, you lean in to capture Basilio’s lips with yours, leaving his black eyes wide open in surprise. They flutter close, and he savors the kiss, slipping a tongue in. Then you turn to Crispin, and you give him the same sweet kiss as well.

“Damn, I didn’t mean like, now,” Basilio mutters, feeling the front of his trousers get tighter as he watches you make out with his brother.

Bringing your attention back to the younger twin, you loosen his tie, while you push out your ass to grind against Crispin. “Are you complaining?”

“Not at all.”

“Wait, are you sure about this? All of us drank tonight… we don’t want you to do something you’ll regret,” Crispin says, moving his hips away from you. Basilio pauses too, and wraps his hands around your wrists to still your hands, a look of concern on his face.

“Kuya’s right.”

“I’m a grown woman. I might’ve had a few bottles, but I know what I want,” you reassure them, waiting for the two to make a move. “I know I want you two for months.”

Basilio lets go of your hands and lets you do as you please, a cocky smirk on his lips. Behind you, you can feel Crispin’s gloved hands reaching for the zipper of your dress. “Really? How much do you want us? C’mon, say it,” Basilio asks, moving in to place kisses on your neck.

“I wanna hear it too,” Crispin whispers against your shoulder, and he punctuates it with a light kiss.

All of a sudden, you felt shy at the prospect of confessing your fantasies out loud. “Why don’t I just show you boys?”

“Oh no, you’re not getting out of this one,” Basilio teases. “Consider it as payback for throwing up all over my shoes.”

“You’re still- ah!- mad about that?” you ask him, gasping in the middle of doing so when you felt a hand snake between your legs from behind. The older twin slips his fingers past your underwear, circling your clit with slow strokes.

“Not mad, I just want things to be fair,” Basilio teases, pulling your dress down. He gives your breasts a squeeze, fondling and rolling your nipples until they harden, and he seals his lips over your right one. Crispin moves from behind you and he takes his place next to his twin, lathing his tongue over the left. All four of their hands pawed at your flesh greedily.

You were at a loss for words because of how good they’re making you feel, soft moans bubbling from your throat.

“Speechless already, huh?” Crispin mumbles against your skin.

“Ngh! The wind girls weren’t lying, you two know what you’re doing,” you gasped, face flushed as you watched the Twins lavish their attention on your breasts.

“Shhh, stop changing the subject. Play along, or neither of us will make you cum,” he adds, pausing to give you a teasing lick, and resting his tongue on top of the hardened bud. On the other hand, Basilio is sucking like a starved babe while squeezing your still clothed behind.

You fake a scoff of indignation and grin. “Fine. I- oh fuck- want you two so much, I’ve been fantasizing for weeks.”

Basilio pauses to address you. “Describe them.”

You’re a little mortified, but the alcohol in your system pushes you to be bolder. “I imagined Basilio punishing me for ruining his shoes.”

“And how did he do that?” Crispin’s voice.

“He asked me to suck him off,” you start, and a pinch on your bottom from the subject of your fantasy tells you that he wanted to hear more details. “He fucked my face while pulling my hair and told me how good I was the whole time and that he forgave me.”

“What about me? What fantasies did you have?” Crispin asks again.

Your breath hitched in your throat but you pushed on. “Hearing how you scolded Basilio, I imagined you taking me from behind and saying the meanest, dirtiest things possible.”

The Twins looked at each other, and stopped, their lips leaving your breasts with a lewd pop. “You want to make them all come true?” Basilio asks.

Cheeks burning, you give them a curt nod.

The two of them lead you to the bed, where Crispin puts you on all fours, and he takes his place from behind. On the other hand, Basilio is standing near the edge of the bed, the bulge in his pants inches away from your face. You stare at it, licking your lips.

As you undid Basilio’s pants, he shrugs off his suit jacket and takes off his tie, then he takes off his dress shirt, revealing his abs and the trail of dark hair on his lower abdomen, disappearing into his briefs. From behind, you hear fabric shifting, then Crispin peels your panties off of you. He brings a gloved hand against your skin in a loud smack, making you cry out.

“Ah, wait, we need a safeword,” Crispin mentions, soothingly squeezing your skin.

“What about Eternos?” Basilio suggests, and Crispin cocks an eyebrow. “Wait, you mean, like the game?”

You stifle a laugh. “I’m fine with it,” you say to them, and they take it as a signal to continue.

The older twin dips a gloved finger between your folds, gathering your wetness, and tsked. “Look at you, already so fucking wet. You want this so much, huh?”

You nod frantically, then Basilio stills your head. “Open your mouth, baby. Tongue out.”

You oblige, and Basilio fishes his cock out of his briefs. Your eyes grow wider as you take in the sight of it; girthy, with a nice length, and a few veins running on the underside. You wonder if Crispin’s is the same. The twin in front of you lightly smacks his member against your tongue, and you proceed to lick it, running from the base to the tip, slicking it with saliva. You swirl your tongue around it, then try to slide it in your mouth as smoothly as possible.

As Basilio begins to breathe harder with each bob of your head, Crispin pulls your ass towards his face, and a choked moan escapes your lips as you feel his mouth on your heat, toying with your folds before he finally finds that sensitive nub. The older twin proceeds to lick and suck at it, eating you out like you’re the best damn meal of his life.

Meanwhile, you push a palm against Basilio’s thigh to make him pause, and before he can ask you if you’re fine, you take his balls in your mouth and fondle him with your tongue. Your hand pumps his neglected cock as you did so.

“Shit! Your mouth feels so damn good,” he hisses, breathing hard. When you take his dick back into your mouth, Basilio gathers your hair and uses it as a handle, watching his length disappear in your mouth over and over, his black eyes hazy with lust and his mouth whispering words of praise.

Crispin looks at his brother with a hint of envy, cock painfully hard against his trousers. He unzips it for relief, and proceeds to stroke himself as he continues to prepare you.

“Hey, Basilio, got any lube?”

“Um, there’s- ungh- a bottle of it under the pillow.”

“...you keep lube under your pillow? What the- and condoms? Can’t you put them in your drawers or something?”

Basilio doesn’t give his brother a response and focuses his attention on you. You gasp against his cock as you felt a cold, gloved hand prod against your asshole, and goosebumps formed on your flesh as you felt the cold lubricant smearing against your entrance. Crispin pushes his lubed thumb in, and you cry out in pleasure, your jaw opening wider for Basilio to claim. Then, two more fingers prod at your pussy, and you swear you can see stars as they slid in. The older twin toys with you while eating you out, and you feel a knot forming at the base of your stomach, threatening to uncoil at any moment.

You couldn’t take it. Basilio’s cock slides out of your mouth and you look over your shoulder, moaning and panting.

Crispin pauses from eating you out to ask you a question. “You’re gonna cum? You wanna cum on my fingers like the filthy slut you are?”

“Yes, please, please, let me cum,” you begged, and with a devilish smirk, Crispin dives right back in to finish the job.

You squeezed your eyes shut as the pleasure inside you exploded, shameless moans coming from your throat as your first orgasm hits you. Basilio watches the look of pleasure on your face as Crispin makes you cum, making his cock twitch.

“Now that’s how you please a woman,” Crispin teases, shooting his brother a challenging look while wiping your juices off of his face.

“Wait until it’s my turn,” Basilio replies, smirking.

Panting, legs wobbling, you didn’t get to rest as Crispin takes his cock and slides it in you. In front of you, Basilio cups your face and directs you back to his cock, smirking. “You’re doing so well, baby. You’re taking us like a champ, you know that?”

“Fuck,” Crispin hisses from behind you. “You like this, you little slut? You like being fucked by two cocks at the same time?” he asks you, each word punctuated with a hard thrust.

Now you’re really caught in the middle.

Basilio’s panting heavily now, his thrusts becoming erratic against your mouth. You know he’s close, and you brace yourself for what’s coming. Eyes screwed shut, he lets out a low groan as he spills inside of your mouth, his cum painting your tongue white. You try to swallow it all, but a few stray drops dribble down your chin. The younger twin cleans you up, and kisses you deeply, not minding his taste on your mouth. He sits on the bed to catch his breath, and allows you to rest on his thighs.

Behind you, Crispin begins to rut faster, his thumb still in your ass as he pounded you. You writhe and cry against Basilio’s lap, bracing yourself from each harsh thrust. The younger twin pets your hair, but he moves his hand away when Crispin pushes your head against his brother’s lap.

“Take it all of it,” Crispin groans. “Ungh, you make me so horny, you little slut.”

Not wanting to miss out on the fun, Basilio gets an idea.

“Hey, kuya. Hold her up.”

Crispin blinks before obliging his brother’s request, clamping a hand around your throat. “Is this fine?” he asks you, and you nod a few times. He tightens his hold and pulls you to his toned chest, your hair sticking to his skin from your sweat. Basilio kisses you, then latches on one of your breasts. One gloved hand fondles and pulls at your nipples, while the other moves south to stroke you.

“Ah! I think I’m gonna cum again…” you choked, face red and tears forming at the edge of your eyes.

“Say our names,” Crispin whispers against your ear in a low growl.

You mutter their names at first, but it turns to full blown cries as your climax fast approaches.

“Crispin! Basilio!”

It hits you so hard, your eyes roll to the back of your head. You cried shamelessly, and Crispin places a kiss on your open mouth, tongue slipping in and teeth clashing with yours. He pulls out and finishes on your back, cock resting between the valley of your cheeks, still half-hard.

The Twins move to clean you up, looking around for tissues and anything to wipe you with.

“So,” Basilio says. “One more round?”

Your eyes widen, and you look down to see that Basilio is hard again.

“How- what the fuck? What are you two?”

Crispin sighs. “Hannah and Amie never told you? We’re demigods.”

“We don’t get sick and our injuries heal really fast. Talagbusao is our dad,” Basilio adds, and you give him a disbelieving glare.

“You didn’t need to let that last detail slip out, gago,” Crispin berates him as he pulls you close to his muscular chest. He lay down on a pillow, one arm propping his head up.

After a few seconds of silence, you say something. “At least let me have some water first.”

“Right.”

The Twins stare at each other.

“One of us has to fetch it,” Crispin says.

“What? Why me?” Basilio complains, scratching his head.

“Because I’m older, and I’ve worked hard to give her two orgasms in a row.”

“Hey! I’m sure that last one was thanks to me.”

You groan, grabbing a pillow to cover your face. “Ugh, please don’t turn this into a competition about who made me cum the most. Just get me my water, pretty please, Basilio?”

At the request, Basilio smiles and dresses haphazardly to get it for you. “Don’t start without me.”

You close your eyes with a smile. Crispin buries his face against your hair and plays with it. “You have him wrapped around your finger, you know?”

You chuckle at the remark, and Crispin kisses your temple. “Just don’t hurt my little brother.”

“I have no intention of hurting either of you,” you tell him.

Basilio comes back with a pitcher and some glasses, and once everyone’s hydrated and ready, the night continues.

The Twins spoil you with their attention, hands roaming your body as they planted kisses on your skin. Basilio sucks on your collarbone, biting experimentally and leaving marks that would darken in the morning, which draws a whine from your throat. Not wanting to be outdone, Crispin kisses your back, then the back of your neck, and he found a sweet spot that made you moan at that place where your ear connects to your neck. Basilio observes this and does the same to the other side.

“Hey, um, can I do it in your ass?” Crispin whispers in your ear, almost sheepishly, and you stare at him for a few seconds before nodding.

“Sure. Be gentle. And use a condom.”

“Of course. You go on top. What’s our safeword again?” he asks you, testing your knowledge.

You roll your eyes and try not to laugh. “Eternos.”

“Good girl,” Basilio says.

Flipping yourself around, you lean into Crispin’s lap. “Here, let me help,” you say as you grasp his cock and start to pump. The younger twin behind you reaches for the lube and prepares your ass. You sigh with pleasure as you feel the cold sensation of the product on your skin. Crispin sighs as you slide his length between your lips, head bobbing up and down, and you feel him grow inside your mouth. You give the tip a small lick before doing the same thing you did to Basilio, cupping his balls with your mouth and fondling them with your tongue.

“I want you now,” Crispin rasps, tugging your hair to get you off of him.

You smirk, turning around to give him a great view of your ass. He reaches around for a condom, finds one, and tears the foil open. After sliding the rubber down his shaft, he positions himself against your hole, pressing against the tight ring of muscle. You wince in pain as he starts penetrating you, prompting him to squeeze more lube to relieve your discomfort.

“Relax,” Basilio instructs you, planting soothing kisses at your jaw. You did as he said and unclenched your muscles, entrusting yourself to the two of them.

As Crispin pushes past the ring of muscle, you sigh in relief, discomfort replaced with the feeling of fullness. You lean back into his hard chest, a soft sigh leaving your lips as he starts to move. Meanwhile, Basilio kneels between your legs, rubbing your clit with the head of his dripping cock, but he freezes before he slides it in.

“What?” you ask with concern.

“We’re out of condoms.”

“Just pull out,” you tell him with a strained voice, gasping as Crispin moves inside you.

“No, you don’t understand. We’re demigods. Our… um.. Yeah, we’re really potent.”

You smirk at him. “I’ll ask the girls for something in the morning,” you say against your better judgment. “It’s a risk I’m willing to take. Cum all over me.”

His cock twitches at your last suggestion.

“Ugh, Basilio, you’re really killing the mood here,” Crispin strains to say, holding you gently by the neck. “I pulled out too, remember? Make up your mind already. I wouldn’t mind having her to myself for now, though.”

“Not a chance,” Basilio retorts, sliding the tip of his cock past your folds and pushing inside.

A loud cry rips from your throat at the sensations, feeling stuffed to the maximum as two cocks start to pump inside you. Crispin’s grip on your neck tightens, while you tangle your hands through Basilio’s hair, pulling him closer and kissing him.

Soon, The Twins find a steady rhythm, syncing their movement so you can feel the full force of their thrusts. Basilio throws one of your legs over his shoulder and begins to massage your clit with his thumb, while Crispin fondles your breasts with his free hand, using the tip of his fingers to roll, squeeze, and pull at your nubs. With every thrust they give, you clench, drawing a groan from both of them as they felt themselves being squeezed by your muscles.

“Oh God,” you whine. “Fuck, you both feel so good.”

“Say our names,” Basilio growls, and you oblige.

You chant their names like a prayer, underscored by the slapping of skin as the Twins fucked both of your holes. Hearing their names only spurred them on, and their movements became more desperate, sweat rolling off of your bodies.

“Basilio! Crispin!”

Underneath you, Crispin gropes at your breast harder, beads of sweat rolling off of his forehead and dripping to your skin. “Your ass feels too good, I’m gonna cum,” he hissed between clenched teeth, and you silently thank Bathala that he’s near his limit. The lube is starting to wash off.

With a few more rough thrusts, he cums, shooting inside the rubber. Crispin cups your jaw and kisses you, deep and sweet, tasting your tongue. You’re on the verge of climax now too, and you give Basilio a desperate look. He understood what you meant.

The younger twin thrusts harder and faster while still rubbing that sensitive nub between your legs furiously, and the older one helps by stimulating your nipples once again. The bombardment of sensation is too much, and you feel white hot heat racing through your body as you cum one last time, voice hoarse as a throaty moan escapes past your open mouth.

The spasm of your muscles is enough to send Basilio over the edge too, pulling out of you and spilling his load all over the mound of your pussy, and your stomach. You feel Crispin slip out of you too. Basilio leans in to kiss you, almost tenderly, but still full of desperation, tongue and teeth.

After a quick cleanup and another drink of water, the three of you lay in a heap of limbs, exhausted. Crispin doesn’t shift at all, content on letting you lie next to him, while Basilio moves next to you, effectively sandwiching you between the two of them on the narrow bed.

Everyone is sated, and with your eyes growing heavy, you wanted nothing but sleep.

“So, who’s better?”

You don’t know who said it, but you raised your hand to give him a middle finger. “Tangina niyo, you’re both good. End of discussion. Now please let me sleep.”

Thank Bathala that they did.

The next morning, all three of you wake up sweaty, stinking, and really, really hungry.

“Good morning to you two,” you sigh, snaking your arms around theirs. Each of them gave you a kiss on your temple. “Damn, I’m starving,” you said, sitting up. “Let’s take a shower and grab something to e-”

Underneath the three of you, the bed’s legs give out, and a loud thud can be heard throughout the house. As you three scramble for purchase, frantic footsteps are approaching, and the door bursts open.

“What was that? Crispin is missing from his room and-” Hank blurts, toting his good ol’ triple barrel shotgun "Ama, Anak, at, Espiritu Santo". Funnily enough, when he sees the tangle of limbs before him, he utters the same words and quickly turns away. Alexandra arrives shortly after, gives them a quick glance, and shuts the door.

Breakfast with their bossing is filled with a mortifying quiet.

You barely touch your food, embarrassment burning your cheeks, and you shoot a glance at your twin lovers.

“Next time, lock the door,” Alex finally says, getting up from the table with a coffee in her hands. She’s too fucking exhausted to deal with this.

“It’s Basilio’s fault!” Crispin yells after her. Basilio made no attempts to defend himself, knowing that he forgot to lock the door again after he came back with the water.

Grumbling, you finally take a bite of your breakfast, jacket draped over your shoulders despite the heat to hide the bruises on your body. “The girls are gonna have a field day when they see me like this.”

“I need to replace the bed,” Basilio mumbles, stuffing his mouth with rice.

The three of you looked at each other, and laughed.

“So, see you next week?” Crispin asks with a smile, and Basilio gives you a pleading, doe-eyed look.

“Yeah. See you two next week.”

Translations for non-English speakers:

tropa: ground of friends. People you chill with

tangina niyo: Filipino profanity. Roughly translates to "you sons of bitches"

Ama, Anak, at Espiritu Santo: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. It’s Hank’s weapon’s actual name in the comics.

[gottawriteanegoortwo]

Dark’s Biwthday

Since I imagine others in the fandom will create some wonderful pieces of art for Dark’s birthday today, I decided to go the opposite route and write something silly, but hopefully wholesome at the cost of being a little cursed.

Inspired by my own work - the cursed UwU Dark voiceover. A friend of mine reblogged it and mentioned about ‘signing adoption papers’, which only meant one thing worse than the entity:

A child.

No.

Word Count: 1,057

-

No one had seen Dark all morning. While not unexpected, it was terribly disappointing for Wilford. He had several reminders written on different devices and planners - today was Dark’s birthday! After everything the two had gone through together, he didn’t want Dark to think everyone forgot! Wilford even got his hands on a cupcake with black frosted icing on top. It would be perfect - assuming the birthday entity could be found.

Asking the other egos yielded no helpful results. Even those who knew an awful lot more than Wilford couldn’t help (and no attempt of flattery via “but yer so smart an’ handsome!” could jog their memories). The only piece of useful information he received was Host telling him that Dark had booked a day off.

“Horseshit. Dark’s hidin’ somethin’,” he grumbled to himself as he stormed down the corridor. “If he takes a day off, he tells me since I’m the co-leader. Somethin’ ain’t right…” As his complaining trailed off, he stopped outside the door of Dark’s office. It was known as a place of solace, the one room where Dark could be left uninterrupted. Last time he came by, he discovered there was no answer when he knocked, and no chance of entering when the door was locked. This time, Wilford remembered an important detail: if he wanted in, he’d get in. He stepped back until he hit the far wall, then made a run for the locked door.

Wilford stumbled into the office. The hole that had opened up was quickly closing up behind him, leaving only the sturdy hardwood of the unharmed door. The cupcake was still perfect as the reporter brushed the dust off him. Now, on to work!

“Hey! Dark! Kinda rude ta hide on yer birthday. I can see yer laptop, so I knoow yer in here!” Anyone with half a brain of wits would know never to barge in and talk in such a manner, but Wilford was not in that category. Instead, he marched up to the table and put the cupcake on top of the laptop. “I brought ya a  chocolate cupcake since ya hate big cakes, so -” Something caught his eye. There was a shuffle of black that went behind one of the small cabinets. Curiosity grew as Wilford began creeping across the office. “Soooo that way ya won’t feel bad ‘bout it. I nearly got rainbow sprinkles on it too, but I thought that’d be too much fer this year. We can work on that on yer next - AHA!” He reached forward and snagged material, yanking it up and out of the hiding spot. A small figure was pulled out, being held in the air by a fistful of material caught in Wilford’s iron grip. They looked like a five year old child, with black hair falling over their eyes. Their black suit was a little baggy, but still aptly ‘child-sized’. Grey hands shot up to try and tug themselves free.

“Wiwfowd! Put me down this instant!” The child snapped. Wilford took the chance to quickly adjust his grip so he was holding the child up by having both hands under their arms. Realising this was the opposite of what was demanded, the child began to intently wriggle.

“Whoa, whoa. Ya don’t need ta be so squirmy. I ain’t gonna hurtcha!” 

“Yew won’t, but yew wiww bwing me out there and let aww the othew egos teaw me apawt. No one is going to take me sewiouswy wike this!” The child’s frustration resulted in red and blue lights briefly shooting out, which in turn found them crashing to the floor.

“... Dark?” Wilford sunk down to his knees, face twinged with utter confusion. “What happened? Yer so... small.”

“Thewe was a fight yestewday,” Dark huffed, standing up and adjusting his suit with tiny hands. “I used too much enewgy and woke wike this today.” Both hands were clasped behind his back with a sigh. “I know yew wanted to do things today fow me, but I can’t go out wike this.”

“Don’t start that. This is great! All I gotta do is tell th’ Host I’m takin’ a day off too, an’ then we can do things! No one’s gonna bother ya since they won’t believe yer a little kid that speaks like an ‘uwu’ meme!” 

“A what?” Dark’s question was ignored as Wilford gleefully dialled Host’s number.

“Hey, Hostie? Turns out I found a scoop out by th’ dump, so I’m gonna go check it out. Tell everyone they can finish on their lunch break. An’ if ya find Dark, tell him I’ll be safe!” He hung up before Host could even get a word in, and turned to Dark with a grin. “We can spend th’ day in my place. I’m sure yer gonna need ta rest if ya wanna be yerself again tomorrow, yeah?” Wilford pulled himself onto his feet and sauntered to the desk as Dark tried to take this all in.

“I thought yew wouwd want to show evewyone how widicuwous I wook.” He felt this was Wilford trying to lower his guard before embarrassing him in front of everyone. “Wike yew said, no one wouwd bewieve I’m a kid. If I twy to be intimidating in the futuwe, aww they might see is how I wook now. It can’t be something I -”

“Hey, get over here! We gotta do somethin’ before we go. If ya do this, then I promise I’ll let no one at all see ya like this.” Dark begrudgingly returned to his desk, climbing onto a chair Wilford pulled beside him to see what was there.

The cupcake Wilford had mentioned had a small, lit candle in the middle of the icing. While there was no plate, he had pulled out a pink napkin to keep the laptop crumb-free.

“Happy birthday, Dark. This year is gonna be a good one, an’ yer gonna be yerself tomorrow. Blow out th’ candle an’ we’ll leave.” However ridiculous the situation was, something in Dark felt flattered Wilford would do this for him, as well as keep a secret. His little lungs had to let out a strong puff to blow the candle out, and he barely had a chance to recover before Wilford snatched the cupcake in one hand, Dark with the other, and disappeared out of the office.

[loudlypanickinginvenezolano]

Amusing.

«And this, you mother fucker, is why we can’t want nice things. There is an actual risk of them becoming true, and then we will fucking panic because we don’t know that to do. Did you want kisses? There are your cursed kisses, you whiny! And you can’t kiss back nor pet or…or… Fuck this shit. » Silver is trying his best, Shadow is still very confused, and Sonic...He´s in there, somewhere... (Working title and summary. Going to change them when I have something more solid to put in.) Even though only Shadow and Silver appear in this chapter, Sonic is in there. He is going to appear in the second chapter. So, yes, this is a triple s.

Part one, because I have no self control and this is too large.

In AO3 as well. [But I didnt cut it cuz I was lazy. Maybe later.]

It was amusing, and something that even now surprised Shadow to no ends. His life, now, consisted in a lot of things he never thought about, he never though he could have, hell, things he didn’t even knew existed! So, in a sense, it would be normal for him to have never ever imagined something like this could happen, to him none the less! But it has, and it was… right this second, even!

He looked over his shoulder, gazing straight at his fluffy boyfriend who was sitting by the counter, staring at, well, him, like a very small puppy would. Once he noticed Shadow was looking, he flushed a bit, but didn’t gaze away. Actually, he seemed to preen a bit at having the ebony attention on him, smiling softly, dopey almost, and eagerly sitting straighter, as if showing off his height. The whole display made Shadow look away, chuckling a bit under his breath, feeling how his own cheeks seemed to warm up a bit. It was almost a giddy feeling, his stomach rolling, and his usual stoic stance yeeting itself off the window without asking Shadows opinions first. It was stressing, and annoying as hell. Staying calm and in control of himself seemed to get harder every time, and it wasn’t for the rage or sadness anymore, not at all, at least, but by this very confusing I-don’t-know-how-to-explain-what-I’m-feeling feeling, or this whole shame and need that seemed to take over his whole body wherever they touched, like, you just got a kiss, why do you need another one?! Stop being so clingy and needy, you are going to bore them! Just lay down, go to sleep! What?! No! Stop staring at their hands, you idiot, they are going to notice! Sleep on your side! Sleep on your fucking side you Disaster-bitch! Don’t you dare roll over to them, doesn’t matter how “Oh, soft and fluffy” they look! Don’t you fuckin-Wa-Wah! Oh god! Oh, my chaos! Why is Sonic hugging us?! He didn’t!-He didn’t send a notice first! It was, it was so sudden? How are we supposed to react to this!? We are not ready, we really ARE NOT READY! He is, he is snuggling? Oh my why is he so cute? Who said it was allowed?! We want to fill a compliant! Nono! Don’t you dare tense up nor make a fucking sound, don’t you dare to wake him up! Shit! Had it gotten hotter in here somehow? Their face was going to melt! Was really ruining him. The temptation of just jumping in, out of the blue, and kissing their face or biting on their shoulders was so strong sometimes…He looked down at the mushy thing in front of him, barely time enough to hold the palette once again before he felt a warm weight settling on his back, careful as always with Shadow spines, and maybe not so thick, but definitely strong arms hugging him tightly. — Hiii~. — Silver sung softly on Shadows ear, giggling happily at seeing both of them twitch and fold in reflex. [I almost wrote Infinite instead of Silver. Wow, the ideas.]

Yas. Ok. Thank you, that is…that was exactly what Shadow needed. A reminder of how much of a freaking walking gay disaster he is.

Fighting with claws and fangs and every little bit of sense he had the oh so big urge of squirming, and the even bigger want of leaning into that white chest fluff and purring because, Oh damn, Shadow, who could have been the image of composure and coolness, kept mixing smoothly, soft yet firm wrists moves as a simple “Hello” fell out his mouth.

Nailed it.

— Are you doing other of this, eh, Things? — He didn’t sound sarcastic nor upset in any kind of way while asking, unlike Sonic, who very much did; Instead, Silver seemed to be genuinely curious, staring obviously at Shadows hands and work in progress in his usual child-like fascination. It sometimes made Shadow want to give him another kick in the head thanks to the frustration, but this time, it was almost… endearing. The attention he received from his boyfriend usually threatened with making him blush extremely or freezing him up completely, it was…almost overwhelming, but in a good sense? So…Supportive? Yas! That is what it was!

It completely frightened him.

— Yes. — That was what Shadow always answered when asked, “What are you doing?”

A thing. It was short, true, and didn’t give any detail away. Nonetheless, to be honest, most of the time it was very obvious that he was cooking something, or doing some kind of thing for maybe a kinda craft project? He just…He was just doing things. Sonic hated when he answered like that, though. He would whine, glare, scoff, or walk away, sometimes a rather strange mix of them and a bit more, that always left Shadow blinking and in complete blank.

And Shadow was supposed to be the drama king?

— It smells funny. — Silver declared with a small laugh, perching his head on top of Shadows and looking at his boyfriend work the…flour? (Was that-What was that?) With his fingers now. —I like this. Whatever you are doing, I dunnu, I like it. A lot. I really do.

—Why? — Shadow couldn’t help but ask, wishing to look up into his boyfriends face, but not doing so in order of not dislodging him. This. This was…was part of the long list of things that he couldn’t understand of Silver. If he didn’t knew what the fuck was Shadow doing, and was just seeing him watering the flour, then, how could he like it so much? Say it so confidently, with so much honesty on his voice… How?

—Be-ca-use~…—He sung, again, drumming his fingers against Shadows skin, breathing deeply and sighing so contently Shadows own lungs ached. — I get to see you, and everything you are doing. And you are happy.

«…Ah~…? »

As if sensing his confusion, Silver gave an embarrassed grin, and went on in an explication.

— You are soooo happy and relaxed, you look soo calm, elegant, even, and focused in what you are doing! And I like that! I like how I can hug you tightly, and admire how pretty, erm, precise! Your hands move. — As if trying to prove his point, he squeezed Shadow strongly, which stole a small squeak out of the ebony. Silver had fucking lifted him! — I like that one a lot. I like seeing what you are doing a real lot, being close enough so I can-I can…

—Yes?

— Smell it! Or hear it! I really like it all, how calming and neat you make everything look, even if things go wrong or the kitchen gets messy, you just-just…make it work! You are relaxed, and happy, and so am I. —He changed his position just the slightly bit necessary for him to be able to look at Shadows pretty face without losing or wavering his strong grip for one second, waiting for their eyes to connect before smiling widely. He pecked Shadow warm cheek one, two, three…four and five times before just giving up and nuzzling him enthusiastically, hands kneading and chest rumbling with a very low but pleased purr. (Oh, how much did he love to do this?!) Silver had gotten that habit from Blaze, kneading with his hands-paw in these kind of situations, though he knew as a hard fact that Shadow did it as well. Why? Well, it was just a mystery! (He had never gotten the courage enough to directly ask his boyfriend from where he picked it up, so he just made up stories on his mind. Still, a mystery. ) — I enjoy it, hearing the knife cutting the dried fruit, how your fingers rub the flour and your knuckles tap the bowl, the bubbling when you boil something, the cling of the plates and glass, your laugh or humming… I love it. I love seeing it, I love hearing it, I love…Jeez, even smelling it once it is out of the oven, and how the vanilla, cinnamon or mint or whatever smell will cling into you and follow into our bed. Can you believe the cravings or the weird dreams I´ve gotten thanks to it? Its-Its nuts!

Silver was happy, so freaking happy. He laughed and smiled while talking, always looking straight at Shadow and touching him here, and here, and there and just… couldn’t stay quiet. (How could he?! Shadows fur was always so soft and they were so close and…there! ) He sounded… passionate, almost. And that was exactly what he wanted. What he honestly felt! He was trying to show his interest in Shadows tastes, be a very Supportive Boyfriend™, and highlight that he actually enjoyed this and wasn’t just faking it nor seeing it as an obligation. He wanted to connect with both of his boyfriends, show that he paid attention to them, and that their likes were a very important thing to him. He wanted to be there for them and keep them happy for as long as he could.

Shadow couldn’t hold his snickers anymore at that last line, looking away and basically hiding his smile on his shoulder, which almost made Silver whine in protest. Because, Shadow, Why? His heart was beating quickly, Silver could feel it under his hands, and his cheeks were clearly flushed, even if it wasn’t that strong. It was an almost bashful look what he had, and during Silvers confession, his ears and hell, even his tail, had perked up and twitched occasionally, the last one grinding lazily against Silvers body every so. It was…perfect. So cute, like, Silver couldn’t even.

He must have two of the cutest, and prettier, and sexier boyfriends in the whole past.

—I love holding you, also, just like this… I love you~… I just love you a big lot.

—Oh my chaos, will you ever stop? —Shadow grumbled, cutting Silver rather abruptly and taking him by surprise. — What is this, any kind of thesis? Cut it already, you sap.

Silver found himself gaping for a second, completely dumbfounded. Shadows words stung for a few seconds, and had him blinking and lowering his ears. He snorted then, beaming once again and hugging him tighter than before, hearing more clearly that very low “Mmmmmmmmhhhhhh” long sound. — O-Oh man, I really embarrassed you with that one, Did I not?

Shadow ears were the ones lowering this time.

—Was it…that obvious? —He questioned quietly, and Silver only response was more laughs which only deepened (And wasn’t that a feat!) Shadows blush. Another shower of small kisses peppered all over the ebony face was what followed, as well as a little tease.

—Oh dear, you got as red as a tomato. —Silver snorted, holding Shadow firmly so he couldn’t shy away from his grasp and kisses. He was currently turning his head and pushing slightly with his own body, lifting his shoulders and curling in a poorly made attempt to protect himself. Hands covered in thick gloves and that funny smelling thing laid unmoving in the crystal bowl, twitching with laughter and repressed need to shove. — Stay quiet! C’mon Shadow, let me love you! Accept my love~!

Silver kept giggling and doing obnoxious kissing sounds as he left “loving smooches” and tickling touches on every bit of Shadow he could reach, ignoring how he kept muttering continuous demands for him to stop.

Because, yes, Shadow wasn’t pleading nor begging, and he certainly wasn’t laughing with his boyfriend; No. he was firmly demanding him to leave him alone and to fucking stop tickling him. It was just that he was being ignored and. Well. Maybe he wasn’t fighting that hardly... Shadow was going to find a way to send his retribution to Silver in the moment the younger expected it the least, either way.

[He is in denial don’t believe him, LMAO.]

It must… it must have been planned beforehand. Shadow couldn’t push Silver away without making a mess that then he was going to have to clean, not to mention the additional problem of washing Silvers furs clean of flour, nor could he move brusquely without damaging the bowl. It was… it was…

«Oh my chaos why do you do this to meeeeeeeeeeee! » He whined while mentally squirming. «This is so fucking unfair. Why? WHY? Oh hell don’t touch there! I hate this. I freaking hate this. Oh, but WHY you can touch me but I can’t? That is not the point. FUCK! »

—You really are ticklish here, uh? I can say you want to laugh. Why don’t you? C´mon, give me a smile!

—I’m going to give you a kick, how does that sounds?! — Shadow managed to squeeze out a threat that was met only with more laughs.

«And this, you mother fucker, is why we can’t want nice things. There is an actual risk of them becoming true, and then we will fucking panic because we don’t know that to do. Did you want kisses? There are your cursed kisses, you whiny! And you can’t kiss back nor pet or…or… Fuck this shit. »

Shadows dignity funeral was going to be in three days. There wasn’t much to bury anymore, but still, it was a nice touch to have. It had lasted as long as it had been able to… Poor thing. It gave its best.

—But Shadoooooow. — Silver whined teasingly. That little shit. He really is spending too much time around Sonic. —I really like your smile. I want to see you. Please? Smile for me, just a bit! Or else… Mh…I’m going to tickle you seriously this time! No more kisses play for you!

Yas.

Too much of a bad influence.

He huffed, looking down at his hands with a frown. — I was doing something, you know?

—I knoow, but, Shadow, Just a little smile won’t take long. Pretty please~?

Sighing in a defeated manner, the flushed ebony looked at his right, meeting gaze with Silver who sported, as well, a very clear and rather strong blush that could challenge Shadows own.  

—Hello there~ — Silver sung, almost in a chirping way that never failed in making Shadow woozy. Goddamn it. He really was awful at this shit. He gently, almost by reflex, lifted his head just a tad trying to make it not that noticeable, and glared. Because fuck you.  

Silver was expecting this, though, and couldn’t help but beaming wider. The thing was, that once you knew what to look for it sometimes was very easy to read Shadows corporal language! This one? It was Shadows non-spoken signal of “Fuck, I want to kiss you bad but hell if I will.” His ears shifted softly in Silvers direction, as if paying close attention. He would look straight at his eyes, never at his lips, like if he were assessing something. (Maybe he was, though.) The tension on his shoulders, that seemed to relax then tense up once again, the tiny quiver on his bottom lip, how he would delicately bite them, and lift his chin, as if saying “Look at them!”

It was so subtle, so quick and small you actually missed it most of the time, or hell, just took it as him being bratty or acting in defiance. But Silver was paying close attention. And so, he cupped Shadows cheek, rubbing with his thumb his cheekbone in a loving manner and tilting his head upwards a bit more before diving in for a kiss that Shadow gladly gave.

[fluffyomorashi]

Omo scenario time!!

*slaps hands together* Alright, here we go!

So everyone knows the “knight slays the dragon and goes to the top of the tower to save the princess” trope right??

Well I was day dreaming and imagined A knight traveling across the land to reach the princess and save her to live happily ever after! Once the knight arrives to the castle he realizes he’s gotta pee a little... BUT WHO CARES?! He’s a manly knight thats finally coming to the end of his long journey, about to meet his love!!

So they adjust their armor, get their sword, and Bust in ready to kickass!!— sadly the over excited knight didn’t think the dragon would be such a worthy foe!! The battle goes on longer than he anticipated, The whole time the princess locked in her room is listening to the vicious battle, nervously waiting,... but in the end he comes out victorious!!

After the distraction and intensity of the battle he’s now fully aware his need to go potty is so soooo much worse! He curses trying to squeeze his legs together, but it’s a little hard when you’re wearing a full metal armor!! He starts prancing from foot to foot looking around for a place to quickly go, when he hears his princess calling out for him! asking if he was Okay?!? if he was alive?!

Hearing her panicked voice he snaps out of it and runs up the stairs finding her door yelling for her to stand back as he tries to bust it down!! When the door finally gives he walks in a gasping mess from the effort of knocking down the door ANDDD The effort of trying to hold all his pee in ANDDDDD the effort of trying not to look desperate in front of the princess!!

The princess is gushing excitedly over filled with joy, “oh my god thank you! Thank you so much you saved me!!!-“ while the knight is almost trembling to keep his composure, meekly trying to cut her off, “y-yeah your welcome of course- um sorry but d-do you have-..a.. *blushes* um a-“

But the princess too excited to finally be rescued keeps on gushing not taking notice, “I’ve been here so long, I didn’t think anybody was going to come save me!! I owe you my life thank you thank you thank you!!!”. She she runs up to the knight, jumping into his arms pushing him back and squeezing tightly in embrace, taking him by surprise-!!

The knight lets out a high-pitched squeak, his body turning ridged as he immediately feels the embarrassing warmth going down his leg....

The princess is still hugging him, still thanking him, when she abruptly stops talking, filling the now silent air with just the sound of him piddling against his armor—... she quickly recoils and looks down and sees the yellow puddle leaking out in random places in his armor and making a big mess across the floor...

She looks back up and our big manly knight is just staring back, his whole face a bright red and tears pricked in the corner of his eyes as he chokes out a weak apology, “ I-I’m.. I’m really really about th-this I-um..sorry I uh...uh-“

But then the princess bursts back into talking mode yelling, “ O-OH GOD IM SO SO SORRY!!! I SHOULD OF ASKED- I MEAN I DIDNT MEAN TO.. IM SO SORRY HERE LET ME HELP!! I-I DONT HAVE ANY GUY CLOTHES BUT UM I-I’M SURE WE CAN FIND SOMETHING!!!” As she immediately starts going around her room trying to gather clothes or anything to help clean up with the mess! He blinks kind of taken back, and watches her frantically run around.

After she throws the random assortments of clothes on the puddle she sheepishly just looks up him and he mutters out a shy “thank you” and she mumbles a nervous “no problem”, as they stand there in awkward silence both blushing not sure what to do or say next after this embarrassing first meeting-..until finally one of them breaks the silence with a shy cough and extends their hand with a small kind smile and says “wanna start over?.. hello what’s your name?”...

And then they lived happily ever after!☺️✨💛 🤴💦👸

((and of course years later when people ask them about their first encounter The knight is a blushing mess while the Princess just giggles saying it’s a secret))

[istheresomebodywhocanimagine]

Write It Down

strawberryfields-forever said: Ok so I absolutely LOVE your writing!! I was wondering if you could another roger Taylor Imagine where the reader gets really drunk and ends up at Rogers Place and he takes care of them and then she ends up confessing her feelings and you can take it from there? Please and thank you! Xxx

(a/n: i’m SO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG I CAN NEVER HELP MYSELF FUCK also this layout might be fucked when i first post it but i’ll try to fix it ASAP)

“Roger, it’s barely midnight, you’ve got to be fucking with me!” you complained, nearly tripping over yourself as he pulled you out of the pub and away from the guy who you’d just been chatting with. “Just one more pint!”

Roger ignored your incessant complaining as he got out onto the sidewalk, the pub door swinging shut behind you, and he began to look for a cab. Cursing at the lack of cars around, he quickly realized there was no way you were making it all the way back to your flat, not tonight. “My place, then,” he mumbled, letting go of your wrist to wrap his arm around your waist, starting to lead you towards his flat that was just over 7 blocks away.

“My flat is the other way!” you protested, almost being dead weight against his side as he used all of his strength to guide you down the street. “Where are we going, you silly goose?” you laughed, leaning even more on him and making him chuckle at how sloshed you were.

Despite your embarrassing situation, you were quite enjoying Roger’s arm around you. Of course, you were using all of your willpower left to keep your mouth shut, because even in your inebriated state, you knew this was not the time to clue Roger in on your little crush.

“Goose? Is that what you think of me?” he teased, helping you across the street and flipping off a car that honked at you both. “We’re going to my place, you can sleep there.”

“OoooOooOh,” you drew out, wiggling your eyebrows. “I get to go to the goose’s nest tonight!”

“My God,” he laughed, trying not to drop you as he continued to lead the way down the sidewalk, your arm wrapping loosely around his shoulder.

As he walked the 7 long blocks with you, you blabbered on and on about the guy at the bar. He had to hear about how he was an old friend from primary, and how he’d bought you drinks and asked if you’d been to a late night chips place down the road. You said you told him you hadn’t, so he offered to take you but you didn’t want to leave, and that’s about the time the “big boss Roger” showed up to end the fun.

As you walked up to the tower block Roger was living in with Brian and Freddie, you sighed dramatically and leaned your head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry I tried to make you stay longer,” you mumbled, slurring your words quite a bit, but Roger already knew how to decipher your drunken ramblings. You loved that about him. In fact, there were quite a few more things you loved about him that you hadn’t told him before. It was a pity you’d become such close friends, because you reckoned that was the only thing preventing you from telling Roger how you felt about him.

He chuckled and shook his head as you both approached the stairs, Roger wondering to himself how he’d get you up to the 4th floor. “Hey, let’s crawl up the stairs, that’d be fun, right?” he suggested, hoping you’d take to the idea. You groaned before starting to crawl up them, knowing the alternative was being carried and that would kill Roger before you got to the 2nd floor.

Roger followed, snickering a bit at the state of you, but encouraged you all the way to his floor, where you decided to lay down. “Rog, I’m beat,” you complained, pressing a hand against your head and closing your eyes. “I think I’m going to sleep here.”

“No, no, Y/N, don’t be a drama queen, that’s Fred’s job,” he ordered, grabbing ahold of your hand and pulling you up to what could be considered a standing position. Throwing your arm over his shoulder, he managed to drag you down to his flat as you apologized for trying to sleep. He then unlocked the door kicked it open gently, calling out for his roommates.

You decided to join in. “Freddieeeee,” you sang, your eyes still halfway closed and heavily lidded as you laughed at how terrible you sounded. “Briaaaann, come out, come out, wherever you are!”

Roger carefully sat you down on the sofa, patting your head gently before heading off to their rooms to find them empty. They must have decided to stay longer at the pub than they had originally planned, which made Roger groan softly. He was alone in getting your drunk ass to bed.

“Looks like it’s just you and me,” he said as he came back into the front room, where you’d managed to pull off your shoes and sprawl out on the couch. Your heart fluttered as you realized you were truly alone with Roger, and anything could happen. Jesus, I must be really drunk if I’m thinking we’re going to do anything but go to sleep tonight, you thought. “Let’s get a glass of water in you, eh?”

You nodded once, smiling lopsidedly up at him before closing your eyes and humming to yourself. As Roger grabbed a glass of water and some Tylenol for you, he heard you start to quietly sing off-key, then suddenly, you stopped. After a pause, you called out to him. “Rog, come sing your harmony, you bastard!”

You then began to sing Doing All Right unbearably loud, Roger trying to shush you and try not to laugh as he reminded you of the upstairs neighbor who hated how loud they were. As if on cue, the upstairs neighbor stomped on the floor, which made you shut up and look at Roger with an impish grin. He looked adorable tonight, and you hated yourself for noting that. He was supposed to be your best friend and confidant, and now here you were wondering why you hadn’t made out with him already.

As you admired him, he couldn’t help but grin back at you. Shaking his head, he helped you sit up, handing you the water and Tylenol before sitting next to you and pulling his shoes off. You gratefully took the pills and water, then sat the glass on the nightstand next to you before laying down again, sprawling over Roger’s lap and making him raise an eyebrow at you. “I’m sorry for being loud,” you practically whispered, running a hand over your face before giving him a guilty look. “I promise I’ll be good now.”

“You’re awfully apologetic tonight,” he remarked, relaxing back against the couch and spreading one arm out along the back while the other hand rested on your stomach lightly. “How come you never want to apologize to me when you’re not a shitfaced mess?!”

“Oh, fuck off and die,” you automatically replied, reaching out to smack his chest playfully. As soon as you did it, your jaw dropped and you began apologizing profusely, becoming a babbling mess again.

He began to shush you again, laughing in between shushes and finally resorting to putting a hand over your mouth. Quieting again, Roger gave it a moment before moving his hand to play with a strand of your hair instead. “I think it’s time you went to bed, sweetheart.”

“No, I’m finnne!” you swore, though your drooping eyelids told him otherwise. He gave you a look, which made you whine and roll off his lap, crawling to the floor and starting to make your way towards his bedroom. “You’re such a bully,” you whined as you slowly crawled your way down the hallway, Roger following close behind and rolling his eyes.

“Do you want to sleep on the floor tonight?” he warned, which made you crawl faster and scramble into his bed when you got to his room. “That’s what I thought.”

“I’m sorry, Rog, I didn’t mean it,” you whined, crawling under his covers and peeking out at him as he started to get ready for bed. “Thank you for taking care of me tonight,” you added, wanting to get back on his good side. “I really ‘preciate it, honestly. You’re the best.”

“That’s my job,” he reassured, pulling off his shirt and tossing it in his dirty laundry as you watched him. You admired his remarkably slender build that contradicted somewhat with his status as a drummer. He didn’t have any remarkably prominent muscles on him, but he was still toned, and though his hair was longer, he didn’t seem too feminine to you in the dim light that was coming through his blinds from the city lights outside. Though, would it matter if he did look feminine? You found yourself thinking that Roger was attractive to you in any state, drunk or sober, angry or happy, mean or nice, any way, any day.

“You’re my faaavorite, Roggie,” you said affectionately, overwhelmed with admiration for him all of a sudden.

Roger laughed at that, glancing back at you before going over to his closet. “I’d bloody hope so.”

“You don’t have to take care of me, like this, you know?” you mumbled, still watching him as he searched for some pajama pants in his piles of clothes. “I know I can be a bit much, and you’re soooo fucking wonderful for putting up with me,” you continued on, Roger smirking at that. He found a pair of pajama pants, which he started switching into, so you looked at the ceiling out of courtesy and started to close your eyes. “I mean it, Rog. You’re the best, you treat me wayyyyy too well. There’s nothing keeping you here-”

“Well, it’s my flat,” he interjected, making you open your eyes again and shoot him a dirty look. “I’m sorry, go on about how I’m the best,” he laughed, starting to crawl into bed with you and making you scoot over as he laid on his side next to you, watching you expectantly with his head propped up on one hand. You were suddenly nervous, Roger no closer than he’d ever been to you before. You’d slept in the same bed before, but you’d never felt so much love for him all at once while in such close proximity. Unable to filter yourself, you continued.

“I meant, like, I’m just me and that’s alright, I guess, but there’s no reason for you to stick around and take all my bullshit like you do. Like, you’re not my boyfriend or anything,” you rambled, both you and Roger not sure where you were going with this. The alcohol still coursing through your body propelled you, however, and you kept talking. “But I’on’t know, I always thought you’d end up my boyfriend, as much as you put up with me, but I’ve pretty much just given up that idea. You keep sticking around anyways, honestly kind of scamming yourself, you are,” you admitted, avoiding eye contact with Roger and instead looking at his collarbones as you played with the duvet nervously. You knew you’d started to say too much, but your stupid feelings wouldn’t stop coming out because you were so nervous and Roger being right there made you even more nervous.

“You thought we’d end up dating?” Roger asked, no hint of emotion in his voice to suggest he leaned either way on the issue. He was asking more for a clarification, which made you even more shaky as you tried to compose a response that wasn’t horridly revealing. However, that worked out about as well as it could, considering the amount of alcohol you’d consumed before leaving the bar.

“I guess, yeah,” you mumbled, still afraid to look up at him. “Fred’s always teasing me about when you’re going to ask me out, so I guess after a certain point… I didn’t mind the idea of it anymore?” The last part of the sentence came out as more of a question, and you squeezed your eyes shut, mentally smacking yourself for sounding so terrified. Fuck it. I’m already this far gone, why not just let it all out? “No,no, no, not I guess. I know I don’t mind the idea anymore. Actually, I’m a bit bummed you still haven’t asked me out. What’s with that?”

“Very subtle, Y/N,” Roger teased, reaching up to replace a stray hair that had fallen into your face. “Fred’s been bothering you about me, has he? I’ll have to tell him off tomorrow.”

“Oh, please don’t!” you begged, quickly looking up at him with a desperate look in your eyes. “He’ll know that I told you that I fancy you and then I’ll never hear the end of it!”

“Well, now there’s news,” Roger commented, a blush creeping on to your cheeks as you realized how stupidly you’d just told him how you felt about him. Shit, you’ve done it now, Y/N. “You never said you fancy me, love, not until just now. What’s with that?”

“Oh, forget it,” you groaned hopelessly, rolling over to face away from him and pulling the covers over your head. The room felt like it was spinning as you laid there in the dark, and you took a few deep breaths to calm down. “Forget I even said that, I’m sloshed and don’t know what I’m doing.”

Roger began to laugh, tugging the covers back down and booing you. “Oh, boo you, I was just taking the piss. Look at me, I’m sorry! I won’t do it again.” You reluctantly rolled back over, giving him the stink eye as you kept the covers pulled up to your shoulders, trying to hide as much vulnerability as possible. “Now, back to the asking you out thing, when did Fred start to bother you about this?”

You wracked your brain, struggling to pull memories through the muddle of alcohol and embarrassment, but you finally recalled at least an approximate date and managed to choke it out. “A couple months ago, maybe?”

“Damn! He was supposed to keep his mouth shut,” Roger cursed, mainly to himself. “Also, you’ve been taking this from him for two whole months?”

“Yeah,” you admitted reluctantly, sounding ashamed. Then, your brain latched on to what he said before, and starting racing as you tried to figure out what he’d meant. “Freddie was supposed to keep his mouth shut about what?” you pried, suddenly propping your head up on one hand too.

Roger chuckled, then shook his head and laid down on his back, his eyes lazily tracing around the ceiling as he answered nonchalantly. “Well, if you must know, I told him I’d been thinking about asking you out a couple months ago, when we were recording one night. But I’d honestly been having so much fun and going out with you anyways these last few months, I didn’t even think about it anymore. I thought he’d zipped it, but that worked about as well as I should have expected… Lead singers, they have such big mouths.”

Your face broke out into a wide grin as you processed what he was saying. “God, I better be sober enough now to remember this in the morning,” you murmured, rubbing your eyes to stop the room from spinning and hardly believing what had just went down.

“I’ll convince you it was a dream,” Roger taunted, looking over at you only to receive more stink eye from you.

“I’m going to write it down right now so I don’t forget,” you stated, climbing over him and out of the bed in a determined fashion, Roger trying to grab you to keep you from leaving but failing. You clumsily made your way over to his desk and grabbed a pencil and his journal that he wrote songs in, flipping through the pages to find an empty one while Roger untangled himself from the duvet that you’d gotten him wrapped up in.

“Hey, don’t read that!” he exclaimed, nearly falling off the bed as he tried to scramble over to you, so you ran out of the room, nearly slipping in the hallway as you made your way to the bathroom and locked yourself in. Roger got there two seconds too late, banging on the door as you leaned against the other side, knowing the lock wouldn’t hold long if he had a key. “Are you mad, Y/N? Give me my song book!”

You ignored him, figuring he genuinely didn’t want you to remember what he’d confessed, and kept going through the pages. On your quest to find an empty one, something caught your eye as you flipped through quickly, and you stopped. Going back, you realized that it was your name that had gotten your attention, and you got back to the page to find a song titled after you.

Curiosity got the best of you and you started reading his scribblings as best as you could. You realized it was a love song, and your heart soared as you smiled wider than you figured you ever had. Roger liked you as much as you fancied him, and now you had proof.

You heard Roger start to unlock the door with a key so you unlocked it anyways, swinging it open to find a disheveled Roger. His hair was unkempt, the duvet still caught around his foot, and he was looking at you wildly as he tried to rationalize what to do next. You were just smiling at him, his song book still open to the page you were just reading, and you held it up to show him. 

Visibly deflating, he snatched the song book from you and put a hand on your upper back, pushing you firmly but gently in the direction of his room like you were a small child in trouble for getting out of bed past bedtime.

“I didn’t write that,” he lied lamely, just making you giggle and laugh as you entered his room, crawling back into his bed. “It was… Brian. Yeah, Brian borrowed my journal and wrote that about you! Right weirdo, he is. I don’t write that mushy crud like him and Deacy.”

He leaned on his desk with one hand to reach down and unwrap the duvet from his ankle, and when he looked back up at you, you were still grinning and giggling at him. He sighed, mainly at himself, and came back over to the bed, tossing the duvet over you before reluctantly crawling back into bed with you and laying on his back, staring at the ceiling.

“Whatever you say, Rog,” you finally replied, Roger groaning softly as he refused to recognize he was on the embarrassing side of things now. However, when you curled up against his side and draped your arm loosely over his stomach, he didn’t push you away. 

In fact, as you drifted off peacefully, he even smiled a bit and wrapped an arm around you protectively, drifting off himself as he realized that, no matter how embarrassing, he’d finally gotten what he’d wanted after all this time – you.

[franklyshipping]

The Cutest Arrogance (Part 2) - A Markiplier and Jacksepticeye Ego Fanfic

Anti wasn't lying when he decided to get revenge on those who had just watched his humiliating torment....it was time for his first victim. This is a sequel tooooo THIS! Also, this is set in a universe where Silver, Yandere, and Host are in a polyamory because yAS! Anyways....what a poor little hero....LET'S DO IT!!!

TAGGING: @anti-switch-glitch and @silvlee-shepherd

'I need a herooooo! I'm holdin' out for a heeero till the end of the niiiight!'

Ahhhh wild singing whilst doing menial chores, it never gets old, my preference is 'All Star' during hoovering. Anyhoo, this song was the preference held by the one and only Silver Shepherd when it came to drying and putting away dishes; a task, thanks to the snazzy music, that was completed pretty dang quick. Especially when singing along comes into play. Silver had just stowed away a roasting tray before whacking one of the countertops with his dish towel and doing a dance that I can only describe as....well.....y'know.....okay I can't ACTUALLY describe it. Whether that's a compliment or not I'll leave up to you. Even without being able to describe it though, it was still amusing to observe....as Antisepticeye would be able to corroborate. He was smirking and leaning against the counter next to the radio....which he promptly turned off with a small hit of static.

'Someone's full of beans.'

Anti snickered when the hero yelped and, quite unceremoniously, swivelled around to face Anti; as soon as he realised it was Anti though, he relaxed into a happy grin....because he had not yet considered yet that he was utterly doomed.

'It's hard NOT to be when you're listening to the AWESOMENESS that is the Shrek 2 soundtrack!'

.....Anti couldn't disagree there.

'Fair enough.'

Anti snickered as he watched the hero stow away his dish towel, before Silver skipped towards him happily.

'Soooo what's up? I haven't seen you in a while! Are you doing more cryptic stuffs on Jack's socials?!'

Silver's eyes were wide and innocent and puppy-eyed as he looked at Anti....who was honestly so frustrated and how fucking cute this guy was I mean....how? Fucking HOW?! With those fucking soft cheeks and happy skips and relentlessly giddy and happy attitude to existence; precious son of a twat. Ahem....anyway. Anti inspected his blunt nails as he smiled, shaking his head as he mused.

'Nahh, I haven't really had the time....I've been....recovering...'

Silver cocked his head to the side, but before he could question what Anti meant, Anti continued speaking in....colder tone of voice.

'You remember the last time we were in a room together....don't you Silver.'

It was a statement, not a question, and it made the already pale hero go even paler in his face. He bowed his head as a shaky breath left his lips, and he was the victim of Anti's piercing glare as the glitch's lips twitched.

'You remember watching me be humiliated....you remember helping to make that happen....'

Silver whimpered and shook his head, heart pounding as his mind raced and one thought shone in his mind....Anti was out for revenge. Silver knew he should have expected it, he was Antisepticeye for goodness sake of COURSE he'd plan and seek retribution! Anti chuckled at he saw how Silver trembled....and he started pacing closer. Silver's floor gaze soon contained Anti's shoes, so the hero mustered up the courage to look into the determined man's face. Anti's form was jolting and segments of his eyes occasionally flashed black as he growled.

'There's no Host or Yandere for you to snuggle into for safety now....you're mine.' 

Now Silver's cheeks were less white and more...a startled, flustered pink. Silver knew he only had one option.....to run.

'N-No! I-I won't let you!'

Silver squeaked before swivelling around and sprinting to the nearest door, and Anti took a few seconds to admire Silver's speed and agility....before smirking at his adorable naivety. In the space of a millionth of a second, Anti was stood in Silver's way with his arms outstretched....meaning the hero ran right into him.

'Well that was easy!'

Silver squealed as he was hoisted over Anti's shoulder, cheeks turning a darker pink as he wriggled and batted Anti's back; the glitch merely snickered and crooned.

'It's not nice when someone materialises in your way is it?'

Silver gulped as Anti started walking away from the exit, Silver's heart was pounding as he started to realise that any probability of him escaping was diminishing by the second.

'N-Nononohelp HELP! S-SOMEBODY!!'

Anti giggled amusedly, now THAT was too adorable. Anti would soon make him understand that no one was going to rescue him. He was swift in his pinning of Silver to the couch, and was quick to straddle him and initiate a good grip of his wrists, despite how Silver seemed to have the wiggle capacity of an earthworm on acid.

'No one's coming to help....it's just me and you....with aaaall the time in the world....'

Silver whimpered as he looked up at Anti, then squeaked out of nervousness when Anti spontaneously glitched again....this time, it was for a vantage point. Anti had raised Silver's arms above his head, sat on them, then looked down at him as he raised his hands and wiggled his fingers menacingly. Silver was already giggling.

'Nohoho nononono p-plehease d-dohon't!'

Silver squirmed and tugged at his arms as Anti's devilish fingertips inched closer and closer towards his open armpits; Silver cursed himself for wearing a vest.....his bare underarms were just completely vulnerable. Seeing Silver so desperate already just excited Anti beyond belief....he had to begin.

'Too.....late....'

Anti cooed, his teeth bared ferally as his fingers descended and began a torturous assault of slow scratching and tracing....Silver didn't even TRY to repress his reactions.

'EEEE! G-G-Gehehet o-ohohout o-ohof my pihihits gehehet ohohout!'

After an initial squeal, Silver was the victim of streams of high pitched, squeaky giggles. Let's face it....Silver Shepherd was the MOST ticklish Iplier ego. All of them were ticklish sure but....there was nowhere on Silver that wouldn't elicit some kind of laugh or squeak or giggle or flinch; the sweet hero pretty much defined ticklishness. Anti smiled happily down at him.

'Get out of your pits? But they're so soft and sensitive and.....ever so fun to play with...'

Silver let out a desperate whine as Anti's blunt nails raked up and down and all around his soft hollows, his giggles persistent and never ending as Anti's smug expression filled his vision.

'P-Plehehease Ahahanti!!! I-I-Ihihit t-t-tihihickles!!!'

Silver was looking up at Anti with desperation in his eyes....and Anti leant down so that they were practically nose to nose. His scratching and skittering and tickling didn't stop for a second as his eyes blackened and his voice growled.

'Good. I want it to tickle. I want it to tickle so bad that it makes you beg for mercy and offer up everything you own. I want it to make ''sorry'' the only word you can even think of saying. I want you....'

Anti leant in to Silver's ear and snarled, with a truly beastly undertone.

'....to feel humiliated and embarrassed and weak at my touch....just like I was when you watched....and helped.' 

Silver was trembling....but not with genuine fear. This was the type of playful fear you might feel by being chased by a friend, or being growled at by an evil tickler. Silver shook his head as he descended into sporadic cackles, trying to scrunch his shoulders to escape the extra tickly whispers that Anti had provided.

'N-N-Nohohohoho p-plehehEHEHEASE! IHI'M TOHohohoo s-sehensihitive I-I-I'll g-gohoho ihINSANE!'

Anti rolled his eyes, now THAT was exaggeration if ever he heard it. He knew that Silver was tickled frequently, because....well look at him, wouldn't you? Anyway, thanks to all of this experience of being on the receiving end, Anti figured that Silver knew how to make himself sound juuuust desperate enough to receive mercy WITHOUT making the tickler feel guilty. It was a clever, well developed tactic....that worked on those whose personalities were based on sympathy. Not Anti though....he was based on the ability of being able to break people, and he wasn't about to change now, not even for someone as cute as Silver.

'Yeah, yeah, yeah, exaggerate all you want but I know you've got waaay more stamina than you let on....I bet you could handle hour....after hour....'

Silver was full on laughing and red faced with embarrassment now as he tried to hide his face in his bicep....aka he was hiding from the truth that Anti had just so bluntly stated. He was a damn superhero, of COURSE he had incredible stamina! No one who had tickled Silver before had realised that though...until now. Now, Silver REALLY knew he was screwed.

'NOHOHOHO!!! YOHOHOU CAHAHAN'T!!!'

Anti snickered....then furrowed his eyebrows. Silver....was laughing really damn hard. Anti hadn't hardened his touch or changed his technique, and he wasn't even adding any nuzzles to Silver's neck, so why on earth was he-.....ohhhh. Oh that was golden.

'Oh I can....just like if I stay at these armpits of yours you'll probably end up screaming your head off....I love finding tickle spots that tickle more the longer you stay at them.'

Silver wailed as Anti smirked. It was true. The longer Silver's arms remained immobilised and his armpits tickled, they would get more ticklish the longer you tickled them, which is pretty damn awesome in my opinion. Before Silver could protest however, Anti continued.

'But don't worry, I'm gonna move on....it'd be boring if I didn't try out the rest of you.'

Anti winked as he slid his scratching fingers down and away from Silver's hollows...finally. Silver was taking relieved gulps of air, but soon of course his giggles were just reignited. Anti's fingertips were engaging in a tickly journey. Silver bore the giddiest smile as Anti playfully growled and nuzzled into his neck, making him snort and whine almost like an adorable little baby.

'Y-Y-Yohohou w-wohohon't gehet ahaway with th-thihihiiiiis!!'

Silver arched his back as Anti's mad little giggles filled his ears, since the glitch was most amused by the hero's meek little threat.

'Your empty little threats mean nothing....you're in the villain's clutches now!'

Silver squealed with embarrassment as he turned his head away from Anti, which in hindsight didn't really help since it meant Anti and his stubble could nestle right in the crook of Silver's neck. Along with the fresh scribbling at his sides, Silver was back into flustered laughter.

'EEEE-nohohonono-EEE! Ohohogahahad-IHIHI'M SAHAHARRY!!!'

Anti raised an eyebrow as he hardened his scribbling a little, smirking amidst his nuzzles as he teasingly queried.

'Huh? What was that?'

Silver laughed deeply as he thrashed his body from side to side, half-glaring at Anti as he exclaimed his reply.

'IHIHI SAHAHAID SAHAHARRY DAMMIT!! C-C-C'MOHON IHI'LL DOHO ANYTHING!!!'

......that struck a chord in Anti. The chord of his imagination. The tickling stopped. Silver took in his breaths....and gulped as he realised what he'd just said, and realised that he had most likely just let himself in for the most embarrassing situation of his entire life. And he was right. Silver nibbled his bottom lip as he watched Anti think....and watching such insane glee rise up from inside him in the form of a malevolent smirk sent serious chills down Silver's spine. He whimpered when Anti locked eyes with him.

'Anything huh? Well....in that case....I want you to say.....''I, Silver Shepherd, am a ticklish baby hero!''.'

Silver....was mortified. Just hearing those words come out of Anti's mouth made him want to curl up into a ball of incoherent whimpers and denial. He couldn't say that, he knew he wouldn't have been able to even get the words out!! Merely thinking about that phrase....each word flustering in its own way...no, hell no.

'I-I....but....I-I c-can't! N-No I....I-I-I c-c-can't!'

He stuttered as he looked up at Anti nervously, his heart pounding in anticipation since he knew that Anti would DEFINATELY think of a way to persuade him. And he had. Anti cocked his head down at Silver with mock affection as he cooed.

'Awww, you don't believe you're strong enough to say it....don't worry....I'll make you have some faith in yourself.'

With that, he reached forward once again....and dug into Silver's soft, squishy belly. Anti's fingers dug into the warm flesh eagerly as the glitch smirked deviously, adoring how Silver just instantly shrieked with mad laughter....and expletives.

'AAAAHAHAHA FAHAHACK OHOHOHO FAHAHHAAAAACK!!'

Anti took the opportunity to gasp with a great degree of shock, fingers still wiggling into Silver's marshmallowy stomach as he exclaimed.

'Ooooh! You kiss your lovers with that rude mouth?!'

Okay....now Silver's blush was going down his neck AND up to the tips of his tiny ears as he...belly-laughed....eheh. He was bucking and thrashing, doing everything humanly possible to get those drilling digits away....but it was like they were attached to his tummy now, digging, vibrating, tickling; it was true torture.

'FUHUHUCK OHOHOHOOOOFF YOHOU POHOHOO!!'

Anti spluttered and snickered at the oh so offensive and rude reply that Silver had given him.

'Wohoooowwww, I guess that means you're not gonna say what I want you to say?'

He queried with raised eyebrows, his wiggling fingers still persisting as he waited for Silver to reply. And he did....with a surprising amount of determination despite the utter ticklish agony his poor stomach was being subjected to; I suppose prolonged tickling diminishes your common sense....because if Silver had HAD common sense at this point, he would have submitted....and avoided what was to come.

'HEHEHEHELL NOHO!!'

Anti let out a sharp sigh as he withdrew his fingers, maintaining an expression of disappointment despite how he wanted to smile at Silver's soft, whimpery hiccups.

'Well....I could say that I hoped it wouldn't come to this, but that would be a lie.'

Silver's form was so weak now, he probably didn't need to be pinned, but Anti wasn't going to take that risk, even now. Anti glitched once more, now he straddled Silver's thighs and had Silver's arms down by his sides, pinned under knees. He started tutting at the shivering Silver as he carefully pushed up his vest, properly revealing his belly.

'P-Pleh-hease.....n-noho t-tickles....'

Anti grinned at Silver.....then lifted a single finger. Silver's eyes were fixed on it, and he watched it descend....and Silver's eyes widened when he realised what was coming.

'OhgohohonottherenohottHEREANTI!!!'

That single index finger had taken to carefully tracing around Silver's outie bellybutton....which was one of Silver's most notable tickle death spots. Silver's breath was already hitching and giggles were consuming him. He was frantically shaking his head at Anti and using the last of his energy to struggle as much as he could, he knew this would break him it ALWAYS broke him....which is why Anti didn't tease for long.

'You know what you gotta sayyy....'

Silver....had no more time. He couldn't even get it one last beg before the finger zeroed in on his outie and scratched it and poked it to oblivion. Silver caved.

'AAHHHAHAHHAISILVERSHEPHERDAMATICKLISHBABYHEROOOOOHOHOHOOOO!!!'

Anti stopped and, brace yourselves, was legitimately in shock because.....just.....WOW. For a few moments Anti was frozen in place, mouth agape as he looked down at the hero who was quivering weakly. Then Anti had the sense to shuffle off him, to which Silver reacted by quickly curling up into an embarrassed ball of whimpers. Anti was amazed. He'd NEVER seen a ticklish reaction like that before....it was amazingly cute. As Anti perched on the edge of the couch he thought to himself....then purred with a light grin.

'.....well.....knowing about THAT spot could have saved me a lot of time!'

Anti giggled when he heard Silver whine even louder....but Anti definitely spotted a little smile hidden behind his hands and curled up limbs; he could see that Silver was nervously peeking at him through his fingers too. Anti knew there was only one proper course of action.

'C'mere....'

Anti opened his arms for a hug, but of course Silver was INCREDIBLY apprehensive. He let out a soft, nervous whimper, which honestly made Anti's heart melt a little bit....god he was so precious, he could see why two people were utterly in love with him. Anti did a little shimmy and waggled his eyebrows, since as we all know, goofiness can make practically anything inviting, just as it did so now. The flustered hero had let out a few residual giggles before unfurling and shuffling into Anti's warm embrace.

'Theeere we go....'

Anti crooned as he rubbed Silver's back softly, and grinned at the purrs he ended up coaxing out....and the little mumble.

'S-Suchameanie....'

Anti giggled and stroked Silver's hair in response for a few minutes, just so that he could be sure that Silver was completely calm and okay. Then he pulled away from the hug, smirking mischievously.

'And don't you forget it.....now...'

Silver gulped when Anti leant in close, eyes flicking back to their intimidating blackness.

'Be a good little hero.....and go and let your little lovebirds know that I'm coming for them next, okay?'

Anti winked and gave Silver's side a little tweak as the hero's eyes widened. He immediately let out a flustered squeak, and after one last subtle kind smile from Anti, the hero scurried off hurriedly....with Anti's maniacal cackles echoing behind him as he ran as fast as he could. Silver knew that this was the start of something....ohhh golly.

WOOOOOOOP HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS LEMME KNOW IF YA DO WOOOO LUV YOUS XX

[clown-bait]

Paranormal Journeys (Pt8) Tortured

Update time! When we last heard of the trashpire she was in a bit of a sticky situation a new face arrived on the scene and somehow she lost a finger. Pennywise is not happy about any of this. Especially because he had to get help from his nemesis. At this point you should just get a pet tracker for your girl Pen she seems to get herself into trouble way too often.

Oh right and some music to go along with this chapter:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHQUfgq1seM

----------

Ch 15 Tortured

“Well, well, well if it isn't my favorite bitch! You know I was going to send you some Frontline for christmas since the last time I walked by your house I got covered in fleas.” Leech grinned through the ichor leaking from her face as the alpha werewolf Danielle walked into the barn and backhanded her already bruised face.

“Still making dog jokes even though you're the one on a leash? Leech I knew you were obnoxious but this is just pathetic.”

“H-harder mommy.” Leech whimpered through the sting of the she-wolfs hand.

“ugh and still disgusting.”

“At least when it rains I don't smell like wet dog!” The vampire called out as her rival turned away to Zander who had grabbed her arm as she passed.

“Wait you know her?”

“Unfortunately. I also know that the creature she's dating is the creature you've been looking for Zander”

“You fucked Humperdink?!” Leech shouted from behind them. The she-wolf turned to her in confusion.

“What?”

“She's been referencing Princess Bride for hours now.” Chris sighed.

“It's a classic! I’ve been trying to get Penny to watch it with me forever now. He liked Labyrinth though so not all hope is lost.”

“Yeah back to *ahem* Penny. The clown that was in the house thats what killed your sister and whats more disgusting she's dating it.” Danielle pointed at Leech who was raising her eyebrows suggestively.

“She's what now?”

“Ok listen its more than just dating, we’re a mated imprinted pair! Like- uh shit how did he describe it…ducklings? Violent sexual ducklings!” Leech called out to them in annoyance. The group grimaced and turned back to ignore her.

“Well, thats a mental image I never needed.” Rick said while rubbing his temples. Danielle regained her composure after cringing at the thought of what the clown and his vampire got up to when they were alone.

“Look I'm not going to explain it but you can help me stop it, using her as bait.” she said to the group while Leech yelled in shock.

“Oh my god you absolute bitch!!” the nosferatu spat and struggled in her restraints.

“She's just as evil as the creature its self so don't feel bad about anything I'm about to suggest but were going to have to torture her a bit for information.”

Chris and Zander both nodded, Rick hesitated but agreed when he saw the others eagerness to work together on this one.

“I am so not evil…..wait no yeah, yeah I am.” Leech snarked at them once again. Whatever it was these humans thought they could do to her she's had worse.

“Get something sharp and silver. Vampires cant tolerate it.” the werewolf grinned. Leech's smile faded as she heard a mirror shatter.

“Ah fuck.”

The werewolf cautiously approached leech brandishing the silver mirror shard in one hand holy water in the other. “Tell us how to get to the clown.”

“You'll have to kill me.” the nosferatu spat.

“Splash her.”

Holy water sliced into Leech’s abused skin fizzing and bubbling like acid. The vampire cursed and whimpered. Then she laughed.

“M-more” she panted and was struck with the water again.  

“Let's try once more how do I find the clown?”

“Have you checked the circus?”

“You're not funny”

“And you snack on milk bones.”

“Hand me the crucifix.” the alpha said to Chris as Leech hollered out to the group.

“Don't believe me? Check her purse! I’ve totally seen some in there!”

The she-wolf pulled out a large cross from a sheet. The nosferatu smiled.

“Oh! We’re gonna get rough I see. Well, we all know I like it rough!” Leech’s sneer turned into a wail of pain as she was brought to the floor. The cross pushing her down via searing internal agony until the thing started to catch fire in Danielle’s hands.

“Th-that it?” the vampire panted and rolled onto her back.

“If you wont tell us how to find him well make him come to us” Danielle sighed putting the cross away. Her prey was as stubborn as she was annoying time for a different tactic.

“He's going to wipe you from existence when he finds out you betrayed him.” Leech snarled keeping her voice low so the humans couldn't hear her. “Why are you risking this?”

“For power. I kill you and put your clown back to sleep, then for 27 long years the town is ours to do with as we please.”

“Always knew you needed to be put down.” Leech muttered.

The blonde bared her teeth and plucked a pair of old rusted sheep sheers off the wall. She turned to Chris who had been wearily watching her since she had entered the barn. “Here make yourself useful.” she called to him holding out the clippers. The ghost hunter took the sheers and looked at the blonde woman and then over to the chained monster on the dusty barn floor.

“You know I don't have any hair right?” the vampire called out from the background.

The she-wolf rolled her eyes and turned to Zander. “Z this thing on the floor? She can lead the creature to us, the thing that killed your sister we have to use her to make sure justice is done.”

“IT would come for her?” the lead ghost hunter asked.

“Oh baby you have no idea!” Leech flashed the room a devilish smile still trying to taunt her captors.

“Ew.” Chris grimaced

“Yeah ok someone help me grab her at least we can shut her up” Zander pulled on Rick’s arm who moved to restrain the nosferatu. Leech raised her eyebrows in amusement as she was thrown to the floor and held down.

“Uh Z? What am I cutting off?” Chris asked

“Well, she doesn't have any hair…. maybe a piece of her shirt?”

Chris and Danielle both shot Zander a questioning look, then gave the same to the vampire when she started laughing from her spot on the floor.

“HA pussies! Like Pennywise would risk everything for a piece of fabric! You gotta cut off something I’d miss!”

“Why are you encouraging that??” The she-wolf shouted completely dumbfounded.

“Honestly? Cause your attempts at being evil here are pretty lame.”

“wh-“

“Plus the guy you gave those scissors to doesn't look like he has the balls to do it anyway.”

“well yeah you're talking about amputating something here!” Chris shouted.

“Just cut off her finger Chris.” Danielle rolled her eyes growing tired and impatient.

“Yeah Chris do it! Bet you’ll bitch out!” Leech yelled and taunted again.

“Chris wait we don't have to do this!” Zander could smell the potential lawsuit from here. His little revenge plot has gotten way out of hand. He had never really expected to find anything and when he did he had just sorta been winging it till he met Danielle in that bar.

“Humperdink is a pussy you gonna let a guy like that control your life? Cut off my finger” Leech shouted again.

“I-“

“Chris I'm your boss listen to me” Zander pleaded.

“I dont-“

“what are you waiting for be a man DO IT!” Danielle shouted this time.

“Z, I cant-“

“HA! I knew it!” Leech called out triumphantly as if she had just won some kind of prize. Zander continued to shout at his teammate while Danielle motioned the ghost hunter to proceed. The whole thing was a bit overwhelming for him to say the least.

Chris looked at Zander who was now shouting orders at him, the woman he chose to sleep with instead of him and the insane bald creature on the floor.

“This is some real half assed torture you've organized here Danielle I'm kinda embarrassed for you. Seriously you should brush up on your technique cause- FUCK” something behind Leech landed on the floor in a wet thud. “Holy shit I didn't think he'd actually do it…….” the vampire said in a small shocked voice as her breathing rapidly began to increase. The barn was silent in shock, for only a moment nothing but a few splatter noises of thick ichor falling for Leech’s hand. Then the vampire gasped and lurched forward before opening her mouth to scream.

————————————-

Over all the eons he had existed today had to be one of the top ten worst days of pennywise’s immortal life. the clown led his nemesis down the corridors of his sewer preferring to travel this way and to keep the existence of his- friends is too strong of a word…..associates he has been forced to live with. Yes much better! The existence of his associates hidden.

The group didn't seem too  troubled over his mates plight anyway. Which infuriated the clown even when he showed them her severed finger they rolled their eyes. If they only knew of her condition! At least two of them would actually be concerned!

“Soooo…” the human behind him began to speak. Pennywise let out a low clicking growl in annoyance

“What”

“Now that we have this…truce..I have a few-“

“You get three.”

“Can one of them be how to kill you?”

“No.”

“All right then when did you grow feelings?”

“I didn't grow feelings.”

“That’s not what i saw back at the house”

the clown bared his fangs. “Next question.”

“You cant give me three questions and then refuse to answer them.”

“The only reason you're alive right now sheep boy, is because your grandfather was clever enough to build his farm somewhere I can’t reach. Which way?”

“Left. Are you controlling her mind how did this start?”

Pennywise laughed at that. “You think I wanted this to happen? I was quite content till Leechie ruined my life. She came on to me.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“For all your snooping you sure don't know much. Humans, so moronic.” the clown grinned to himself. Mike chewed over the implications that someone could actually find this thing attractive enough to pursue it and even fall in love with it. Whoever or whatever Lucy Smith really was she must be sick in the head.

“What is she?”

Pennywise turned his head back and smirked as he walked. “Not human. Something much, much better.”

“Do you love her?”

The clown stopped cold. “That was three questions I'm not answering that.”

“You didn't answer it the first time. Do you love her?”

Pennywise stood still and silent. Mike couldn't see the clown’s ocean blue eyes or the slight quiver of his lip in the dark sewer tunnel but from the absolute stillness the librarian seemed to have his answer.

“We’re making another left.” Mike finally spoke up snapping Pennywise from his trance-like state. “I cant believe you of all people fell in love”

“Shut up Mikey.”

“Clearly she's had quite the effect on you.”

“I SAID THATS ENOUGH”

“The others aren't going to believe me when I tell them-“

Pennywise turned and roared in the librarians face. His fangs multiplying so much they no longer fit in his own mouth while his eyes bulged their alarming red and yellow. “NO! SHE STAYS OUT OF THIS” he practically spat bits of flesh into Mike’s eyes in his rage. It took a lot for the librarian to remain as calm as possible trying to remind himself that IT still needed his help and was desperate enough to broker a truce. He'd keep this bit of information for a later use, Pennywise may have a weakness after all.  As the clown turned back around still with those bulging glowing eyes lighting the sewer Mike sighed and boldly gave him one final jab to the ego.

“You definitely love her.”

“I hate your species so much” Pennywise mumbled and continued to blindly lead the way to the outer reaches of his territory.

——

They came to the end of the sewers greeted by the lush forest surrounding the town animals skittered away in fright at the sight of the creature that emerged from its domain squinting slightly in the light and sniffing the air.

“I don't smell her.” he snarled “Did you lie to me human?! I can find out yes I can! I’ll pluck out your eyes one by one and tear out your ears!” he sang and threatened the poor librarian who stood his ground and shook his head.

“No, I didn't lie. This is the back way to the farm a way only I know about.”

Penny snarled and huffed impatient and hungry from his walk. “Show me.”

“You have to promise”

“Yes, yes your life will be spared if she is unharmed.”

“No you have to promise not to kill anymore children.”

Penny bared his teeth at the librarian. He was close enough he could kill him now and search himself, it would take more time but he'd at least be rid of the little lighthouse keeper of those kids. The clown flexed his claws but paused when something crawled out of the river. A turtle hauled its self out onto a rock to dry in the last remaining beads of light in the setting sun something fluttered in the air around it landing on its shell and unfolding its pale wings. The moth sat on the reptile for a few moments before fluttering onto the clowns claw then out of his grasp forever off into the sky. A warning from his brother. Figures.

“This will not last.” Penny said at last.

“I didn't think it would. If it happens again, if you take a child I will call them back.”

“We have a deal then.” the clown grumbled. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place here. If Leech wasn't so vulnerable he could have said no and just gobbled his long time nemesis up but no. Things had to happen now at the cusp of everything important. He had little choice and he felt helpless and angry. For the first time he had something that made him happy other than food and his brother had to ruin his fun. First he’ll end the losers, then Maturin. He would see to it they all pay.

“Its just this way theres an entrance to the main barn through the cellar, I-I’d hide here when I was younger to get out of slaughterhouse work.”

“Couldn't take a life of a lamb could ya Mikey?” Penny sneered

“I raised them myself, its harder when they're your’s… but then again you wouldn't understand that would you.”

The clown snarled and let out a growl that was thick with offense. “I am learning.” was his answer as he pushed through the dusty wooden door. Mike chewed on the creatures words for a bit. What did that mean? The creature’s sense of urgency was starting to take on a much deeper meaning now as the librarian followed after him.

The cavern got darker and darker as they pushed forward Pennywise melting into the shadows despite his silver costume. Mike used a flashlight to keep track of the thing from his nightmares as it sniffed the dust filled air. Pennywise paused and inhaled deep a low gravely whine escaped his throat and he inhaled again as if the intoxicating scent was quelling an addiction.

“She's here.” he began “She's wounded.”

“Well, she is missing a finger.”

“Quiet human!” penny snapped and listened to the silent cellar.

His eyes flicked forward when he heard it. it was feint but ominous. Someone was singing and Penny knew the song well. She had been singing it non stop for a week now.  

Well you can't hold me

I'm too slippery

I do no sleeping

I get lonely

You can touch me

If you want to

I got poison

I just might bite you

Lie in circles

On the sunlight

Shine like diamonds

On a dark night

Ain't no mercy

In my smiling

Only fangs and

Sweet beguiling

Well the future he don't

Try to find me

Skin I been through

Dies behind me

Solid hollow

Wrapped in hatred

Not a drop of

Venom wasted

Well you can slip in

Try to find me

Hold your breath and

Flat deny me

It makes no difference

To my thinking

I'll be here when

You start sinking

The clowns posture relaxed in relief as he took in the siren call to him. He cocked his head to the side and grinned wide in the direction of the librarian who wasn't sure if it was wise to approach any further. Penny shut his eyes and sighed again.

“My Peachy.”

---------------------

Who’s ready for carnage! Cause shits about to get fucked up in the next chapter. Some graphic skin removal, playing 70s rock music on muscle tendons someone might even get shot in the face! How exciting! Oh and you know the reveal of whats been going on with our trashpire. That too.

[aerynwrites]

Boyfriend For a Day

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader Rating: T Prompt/summary: based of the prompt “You take Hotch to your high school reunion as your date.”

Trigger warning: none that I’m aware of, unless cursing or kissing counts. Word count: 1,879 Multishot: probably not

I slammed the mailbox shut after retrieving my mail and started walking back into my house. I kicked the door shut behind me while sifting through the pile of mail.

Junk. Junk. Bills. Junk. Junk. Oh look! More junk. Another bill, and…oh no.

A high school reunion letter. I ripped off the small seal holding the folded paper together and read the letter.

Dear (Y/N),

               We would like to invite you to attend (Your High school’s name)’s reunion for the class of 2000. The reunion will be held in the High school gym from 6 P.M. – 9 P.M. on Saturday,  September the 20th. We hope to see you there!

               Sincerely,                (Your high school name)

I sighed and tossed the paper in the trash bin, There is no way in hell I’m going back to that place. I was bullied a lot in high school so once I graduated I never looked back and now I have a job with the FBI. I was drawn from my thoughts by my phone going off, signaling I had a text message. I grabbed my phone from the counter and looked to see who texted me.

(Y/F/N): hey! Are you going to the reunion this Saturday?

I scoffed and rolled my eyes before replying.

(Y/N): haha your funny. But to answer your question, no I’m not going. You should know that.

I hit send, and not seconds later she responded once again.

(Y/F/N): come on! I haven’t seen you since you moved to Virginia, and I still need to meet that guy you keep talking about.

I frowned knowing she was right, but I was more worried about the whole guy situation. She had been teasing me relentlessly about not having a boyfriend, so I snapped and said I did. The only problem was I didn’t.

(Y/N): yeah, about that…he’s really busy with work and stuff. So sorry, you won’t get to meet him.

(Y/F/N): ohhhh, I’m soooo sure (Y/N). I knew your “boyfriend” was bullshit the moment you told me. So fine, don’t come. I’ll talk to you later.

As I read her message I felt myself get agitated. So I hastily sent back.

(Y/N): actually I’ll be there. And I’ll bring my boyfriend too. I’ll see you Saturday.

I hit send and smirked. Let’s see what she thinks about that.

(Y/F/N): great! I’ll see you there!

All of my smugness faded when I read the message. I have until Saturday to find a boyfriend, get to my high school, and convince my friend that we’ve been together for over a year now. And I can’t help but think,

What have I gotten myself into?

***

I slowly trudged into work the next day my breathing ragged and my thoughts frantic. I walked over to my desk and sat my bag down before glancing up at Hotch’s office. I could see him sitting at his desk no doubt doing paper work. I wiped my hands down my pants attempting to wipe some of the sweat off before walking up the stairs leading to his office. I reach the door and lightly tap my knuckles on the door to alert him of my presence. He looks up from his desk and sees me, setting his pen down he motions for me to sit. I make my way swiftly across the room and sit in the chair, avoiding his gaze.

“(Y/N), is everything okay?” he asks.

I slowly look up and meet his eyes, and then I remember why I’m here. Even though Aaron and I have been friends since before I joined the BAU, I was still embarrassed to do what I was about to do.

“Yes, everything is fine…it’s just…” I paused searching for the right words. Aaron folded his hands together on the desk waiting for me to continue.

“I got an invitation to go to my high school reunion yesterday and at first I wasn’t going to go, but then my friend texted me and she asked me I was going to go, and then I said no, but she wanted to meet my boyfriend and she kept pressuring me to go so I said I would go but I also agreed to bring my boyfriend with me.” I took in a breath once I was done rambling and looked up only to see a very confused expression on Hotch’s face.

He shook his head gently, “That sounds fun (Y/N), but I don’t know what this has to do with your work, or me for that matter.” He stated.

I closed my eyes and rubbed my hands down my face.

“I can’t believe I’m actually doing this…” I chided myself, “Hotch I don’t have a boyfriend. So I needed someone to fill the spot.” You said ducking your head in order to avoid his stare.

Hotch’s lips tugged up in a little half smile before going back to his usual blank expression. “I don’t know if that’s appropriate…” he trailed off.

I jumped from my seat and practically started begging, “Please Aaron! I will never ask you to do anything for me ever again! I just need to prove to my friend that I actually have a boyfriend. Please, just…please.” I pleaded.

Hotch just looked at me for a minute before sighing, “Okay, I will go with you, but don’t think you’re off the hook.” He said pointedly.

I huge smile broke out across my face and ran around the desk pulling Hotch into a hug which he returned happily.

“Thank you! Oh my gosh thank you so much! I swear I’ll make it up to you!” I pulled away and left his office, walking back to my desk and sitting down, silently celebrating.

Hotch watched as you left his office, and once he was sure you were out of sight he smiled to himself. He was finally your ‘boyfriend’ even if it wasn’t real, it was good enough for him.

***

You stopped in front of the gym doors and looked up at your date for the night, silently begging him to do something to keep you from going through those doors. But he just smiled and tightened his grip on your waist, “Don’t worry, we’ll walk around for a bit, say hello to everyone then we’ll leave.” He said.

I just sighed and nodded before pulling the doors open and walking in. I hadn’t been in the gym for two minutes before I saw (Y/F/N) run over and engulf me in a tight hug.

“I’m so happy you came! I really missed you!” she squealed, she then turned her attention to the man standing next to me. “You must be the guy (Y/N)’s been telling me all about! My names (Y/F/N), it’s a pleasure to meet you!” she greeted sticking her hand out.

Aaron accepted the gesture, “The pleasures all mine, and (Y/N) has told me all about you.”

She laughed and looked at me, “All good things I hope?”

I chuckled, “Well I don’t know about all good things…it is you after all.” I joked.

She feigned surprise before leading us around to talk to everyone else.

It had been about an hour and everything was going smoothly. Aaron was hitting it off with everyone, no one questioned our relationship, and best of all, I haven’t seen Madison all night.

Madison was the main reason I didn’t want to come, she was the main cause of my torture in high school. She, along with all of her friends bullied me relentlessly.

(Y/F/N)’s voiced snapped me from my thoughts, “Hey, don’t look now but Madison is coming in at three o’clock.” She said quietly.

I heard the click of her heels on the hard wood before I saw her. She still looked the same as she did in high school. Long curly black hair, an obviously self-done spray tan, and way too much makeup.  

“Well, look what the cat dragged in.” she sneered.

I forced a smile onto my face and looked at her, “It’s nice to see you too Madison.”

Hotch must have noticed the tension between us because I felt his grip on my hand tighten as he moved closer to me. Madison must have noticed it to because she averted her attention from me, to Aaron. She fluttered her lashes and moved closer to him resting her hand on his arm.

“And may I ask who you are?” she purred.

Aaron shifted his arm trying to escape her touch and stiffly replied, “I’m (Y/N)’s boyfriend, and that’s all that should matter.” He stated.

But Madison wouldn’t stop there, “Come on, a handsome man like you has to have a name.”

I wanted to puke at the way she so shamelessly flirted with Hotch right in front of me. But I also wanted to disappear, I felt like I did back in high school, invisible.

Hotch was getting agitated at her actions, “My name is Aaron, and I’m here to spend time with my girlfriend, not you.”

My heart fluttered when he called me his girlfriend, but the feeling was soon replaced with dread as soon as I heard the next few words leave Madison’s mouth.

“Well, if you’re actually dating, then kiss.” She said crossing her arms.

“What?” I ask flabbergasted.

“You heard me. I don’t believe for one second that someone like you, got someone as handsome as him. So, kiss.” She demanded.

I was about to refuse when I felt Aaron spin me towards him and plant his lips on mine. My eyes were wide with shock at first but I slowly closed my eyes and let my brain take over. It was magical to say the least, yes cliché I know, but it truly was. Hotch soon pulled away and I blushed as I looked at him.

“There, now if you don’t mind my girlfriend and I will be leaving.” He turned towards (Y/F/N) and nodded his head, “It was nice meeting you, but I’m afraid we have to go. Goodnight.” He said.

He snaked his arm around my waist and lead me out of the gym leaving a beaming (Y/F/N), and fuming Madison behind. As soon as we’re out of the school Hotch stops and turns to me, “I am sorry if my actions offended you in any way. I just didn’t want Madison to think that we weren’t – “but before he could finish I pull him down by his collar and connect our lips again. I pull away and smile up at him, “there’s no need to apologize. Well, as long as you don’t mind keeping the boyfriend title.”

He smiled happily before grabbing my hand, “Well then, it looks like I’m not apologizing.”

I grin up at him before wrapping my arms around his neck and resting my head on his chest, He then rested his chin on my head and wrapped his arms around my waist. It was in this moment, that I was glad I went back to high school.

[r-o-se]

Just a tad bit over 101 thoughts on Produce 101 Season 2 ep 5 [watch it here]

Me: Hahaha 60 thats too many people I won’t talk about all of them

Me: Talks about 58 or so 

Welcome back to my p101 lets play number 763 today i will teach you how to make a diamond sword come for Park Jihoon’s winking stay for emojigate and sad teenagers

1.      It starts with an auditorium clip, BoA is talking about her experiences and a voice crack in Japan when she was a baby and the piano cover of Nayana is truly in the top 101 worst things I’ve heard in a while lmao

2.      I.O.I Sohye, Yoojung and Sohee are the MC’s for this cursed elimination episode

3.      They are showing how to vote and the sub just says ‘you cant vote anyways’ lmao u right bro

4.      Anywawys its time for my faves get fucked I’m gonna be real depressed

5.      I need to get a life I reciognize way too many kids from here

6.      NEW HAIR COLOURS HERE TO SAVE MY LIFE

7.      Some kid just got a shock out of the sudden start of dance battle music

8.      DOYEON AND YOOJUNGGGGG SPECIAL MC’S TO DANCE BATTLE EVERYONE ARE GOIN NUTS

9.      They put Bangarang on one A grader backflipped onto the stage

10.   Soo many people on the stage it’s a mess aahahah

11.   First battle is MMO Daniel vs Cra.ker Haknyeon Danny boy is b-boying and twirling on the ground and Haknyeon b-boys too pretty even evenly but I’m Daniel biased SUE ME

12.    Next Samuel vs CS ent Jinhyung, then Sungwoo vs Kim Yongjin and then GON ent Hong Eunki vs Park Jihoon EUNKI FUCKING HUMPED THE FLOOR LMAO

13.   Ok real talk Eunki is so flexible holy fuck now time for modern dance collab stage by Eunki, then joined by JungJung which is the prettiest fucking collab of this entire show this far wow I’m shook they twirl and shit so prettily msg me for link I’m on phone rn rip

14.   Is that….. Seunho??? Surely not??

15.   Hyungseob and Moonbok kings of embarrassing themselves and

16.   They played what does the fox say… rly now… and then BTS Fire… And then Very Very Very…. Who the fuck made this playlist lmao

17.   Ok they’re choosing the dancing king now we all know its Jaesuk but still

18.   ITS HONG EUNKI YOOO HE DESERVED IT GOOD BOY GOOD BOYYYYYYYYY

19.   Entire D grade got new bootsies thanks to Eunki’s performance yoooo both modern dance babes are there

20.   They playin Nayana on ungodly hours Daehwi looks like he wants to stab himself and everyone are dancing in their beds or on the floor whatever goes

21.   Someone’s sleepin in a Pikachu onsie

22.   Lots of half naked and confused boys running lmao quality content Baekho looks dead inside

23.   JONGHYUN GOT THERE FIRST GOTTA BLAST

24.   Some rando trainees stroking Guanlins soft sleepy face same lmao get it

25.   Some dude came up and he looks like he could snap me in half

26.   That dude is gonna measure their shoulders and get them to sweat blood probably

27.   How the fuck did Ren just do this w his shoulders omg what on earth

28.   Bunny Danik won shoulder competition with 60cm

29.   Little Woojin has problems with holding plank poor baby

30.   NOW PLANK WITH ONE HAND HOLY SHIT

31.   ARM WRESTLING WITH PLANK YOU SERIOUS

32.   Omg the dude who goes against Jihoon, it’s Sunghyuk I think, is like ‘will I get evil edited?’ LMAOO DUDE KNOWS anyways he won

33.   It is actual arm wrestle time damn son

34.   MUSCLE SHOT COMPILATION I APPREACIATE YE BOII

35.   Baekho can’t show his arms bc he has tats I’m so emo over this

36.   Lmao one dude winked during 1v1 arm wrestling and the other due is like ‘why are u making this weird’

37.   EVERYONE ARE DOING SEXUAL ASS FACES IM W E A K AAHAHAHAHA

38.   Kenta told his opponent to ‘eat well’ or some shit in Japanese which apparently sounds like ‘fucking bastard’ in Korean aaahahah

39.   Everyone are soo hype over this macho battle (Including me lmao)

40.   I think they are going against their song teams

41.   Bruuuuuuuhhh KIM YONGBIN IS RIPPED

42.   AAAAAHAHAH ITS BIL TEAM 1 POPULAR BABIES VS TEAM 2 BUFF FUCKBOIS THIS IS SO FUCING FUNNY AAAHAHAHAH

43.   Baekho: alright everyone come here

Team 1: *takes a step back*

44.   He fucking destroyed everyone POOR CHILDREN AAHAH FUCK DUDE

45.   Haknyeon played around with Guanlin aka the weak child of team 2 and now Baekho is taking revenge this is the most unlikely friendship of this show and I LOVE IT

46.   Guanlin is havin the time of his life laughing poor baby Haknyeon got his arm fuckin smashed

47.   Oh my goddddd its elimination time for reals now I want to fucking dieeeee

48.   Almost 25 MILLION votes in total holy fuuuuuuckkkk

49.   Everyone are scared as hell out of their minds and holding hands

50.   FCUK DUDE IF JINWOO OR HAN MINHO ARE DROPPING THEN I AM FUCKING DEPRESSED

51.   Park Woodam fell from 1st place from onstage voting to 68th overall holy shiiiiiiittt people are cruel

52.   If it’s like last season and they show all trainees one by one I don’t think I’ll say all of them out only the special ones esp to me because I’m biased ok SORRYYY

53.   One kid just got saved by his 3000 vote benefit

54.   INSU MADE IT FUCK DUDE THANK GOD HE DROPPED SO MUCH THO

55.   HWISEUNG BABE GOT THEREE GET EM HIGHJ NOTES AND HIGH VOTES MY BOY he fell too tho?? Everyone I love are falling w h y

56.   WOO DAM WOO DAM WOO DAM MADED ITTT aahahahah Sohee is supporting him too

57.   Me: I’ll only mention the ones I know

Me: *Talks about everyone*

58.   Kim Youngjin made itttt AND BYUN HYUNMIN THE KTIGER TOO YESSSSS

59.   Sunghyuk rose from 95 to 51 wooowwww holy SHIT HES CRYIN SO HARD BABY BABY BABY

60.   Miracles do happen kids

61.   Jungjung fell but still made the cut I’m so blessed

62.   RBW Hwanung made it but he has fallen a lot so many have fallen in ranks who are the ones who rose??

63.   Ha Minho made it… fuck dude I’m so depressed I really liked him so much… when the news broke out… I’m fucking depressed how could he do it? I was really rooting for him hard… I’m so sad how could he…..

64.   JINWOO MADE IT JINWOO JINWOO JINWOO MADE IT FUCK IM SO BLESSED FUCK DUDE JINWOO MADE IT

65.   If MMO doesn’t debut after this all together I’m gonna sue CJM

66.   Jinwoo was at 80th spot at one point fun fact he made it to 45 because hes so fucking great ok LOVE JINWOO I BEG U GUYS HES AMAZING

67.   SANGGYUN MADE IT TOOOO AND THE CUTE RAPPER FROM MANSAE TEAM WOO JINYOUNG TOO

68.   Visual choosing time lmao a number of them chose themselves

69.   Ong Seungwoo is so fucking sassy and pretty and KNOWS hes pretty his expressions are sooo good holy fuck

70.   Ren got 7th from visual ranking wow I’ll pretend to be surprised

71.   Hyungseob got 6 hell yeaaaaa DUDEEE Seunho got 5th for his baby image

72.   MINHYUN GOT 4TH IVE ALWAYS TOLD EVERYONE HE HAS THE ��PERFECT IDOL LFACE KITTY EYES AND EVERYTHING NOT YALL SEE WHAT I MEAN NOW U OPEN UR EYES

73.   ‘When he’s not smiling he’s hot and when he smiles he is cute’ I AGREE

74.   Hwang Minhyun king of having single eyelids and a soft round nose and STILL being fucking perfect even to Korea’s killing standards

75.   Holy shit Guanlin is #3 both Cube boys soooo high ranked

76.   Top 2 is between Jihoon and Bae Jinyoung lmaoo classical cute idol visuals

77.   Jihoon won and even tho his wink is overhyped I do admit he is killer gorgeous

78.   Back to eliminations it’s sadness time

79.   ‘Full of expressions’ ‘Oh it’s Justin!’ It’s Jisung cmon

80.   ITS NOT JISUNG IT’S A KID FROM 93RD RANK  YEEHYEON HOLY SHITTT

81.   What is the bunny hop thing Jihoon keeps doing wtf its so cute

82.   EUNKI GOT THERE 36TH PLACE AND THE OTHER S.HOW TRAINEE DONGSU MADE IT TOO IM SO SO SO PROUD AND KIM YONGGUK AND KIM TAEMIN YOOOO MY BOYSSS

83.   YUEHUA FAM GOINN UP ONE BY ONE JUSTIN MY SMALL KIDDO LOVE U

84.   JELLY HEESEOK MADE IT GOD BLESS UP BLESS UP JELLY PRIDE

85.   KENTA YOOOO MY BABY JAPANESE RICKY PRETTY CUTIE BABY BOY

86.   HOTSHOT TAEHYUN MADE IT TOO HE LOOKS SO SOFT WITH PALE HAIR

87.   Everyone from Vibe have made it besides Hyunwoo…. God damn sad….

88.   BIG WOOJIN MADE IT IM HAPPYYYYY HYUNBBIN AND SUNGWOO AND SUNGWOON TOO AAHHHH TOOO FUCKK IM SHOOKT

89.   This is the ghost hidden camera ft emotional letter to yourself kinda cheesy lmao

90.   Aaaaahahah Kenta took the chair to swing at the mirror and Hyungseob actually fucking flinged his chair towards the camera, slipped on the floor and then ran out

91.   Seungwoo looks like the scream painting aaahahah fuck

92.   Guanlins reactions are so slow this is fucking hilarious hes like those sloths from zootopia

93.   AAAAAaaahahah fuck Moonbok was really into the talking to himself thing that when the ghost appeared he was like ?? what

94.   Omg they’re dragging Baekho’s beard now lmaooo my fuckboi babe NU’EST have been dragging his facial care way before p101 get on witht it

95.   MMO won’t shut up is the next talking topic apparently it’s because Jisung won’t shut up lmao I LOVE ALL OF THEM

96.   Jihoon’s fashion is the next thing in drag list aahahah poor boy

97.   Ok back to eliminations time to be sad

98.   ‘Loved by other trainees… Pledis Kang Dongho’ u sure they all look so scared of him lol

99.   Ren right after him 20th and 19th places and 18th is the little Woojin and 17th Euiwoong

100.   16TH KIM JAEHWAN MY DUDE MY DUDE YOOOO INDIVIDUAL TRAINEE PRIDE

101.   AAAAHAHAHHA SEUNHO WANTED TO STAND UP ASAP THEY SAID CUBE LIL BIRD KNEW IT AAHAHHA

102.   Moonbok dropped a lot goddamn this is weird kinda ironic considering I’m finally starting to warm up to him aahahah

103.   Sewoon got there Jinyoung got there

104.   BAEKHOS NICKNAME IS SEXY BANDIT AAHAHAH I BET HES HAPPY ABOUT IT AAHAH FUCK HES SO FUNNY

105.   MINHYUN BACK IN TOP 11 YEA BOIIIII

106.   Haknyeon is dropped to 10 wow damn ok but lbr mnet hates him for something they don’t show him at all lmao what did the poor boy do

107.   Guanlin is 9 lil kid aw WAIT WHAT HE SPEAKS ENGLISH??

108.   JONGHYUN IS 8  IM SO SO SO PROUOF OF HIM HE DESERVES IT SO MUCH IM SO GLAD HE GOT THERE BABY BOY HIS EYE CONTACT W MINHYUN BEFORE SITTING NU’EST LOVE IS REAL

109.   Daehwis rank dropped holy shitttt hes 7th?? Goddamn? Wow? From 2 to 7 goddamn WAIT HE SAID HE’LL BE LESS ANNOYING UR NOT ANNOYING BABY I PROMISE U CUTE

110.   HYUNGSEOB MADE ITTTTT FUCK DUDE  

111.   DANNY BOY DANNY BOY DANIK DANIK MADE IT HE IS 5TH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE AINT EVEN PINK ANYMORE BUT HE STILL BUNNY CUTE

112.   JISUNG HAS RISEN SO MUCH DUDE IM SO PROUD OF HIM also lmao Daniel almost fell over in his chair when he appeared

113.   Jaehan and Taewoong are a bit salty… I’m too ugh I love them so much I’m emo they didn’t make it…

114.   Dam son Seungwoo just said he’d wanna have a battle with Samuel he goin all out giving Mnet material aahahaha

115.   JISUNG IS THE THIRD BRUH HE IS THIRD HES CRYING I LOVE HIM FUCK THIS IS SO SAD MMO GETS SEPARATED AND JISUNG IS SO EMO FUCK THIS IS SO CUTE AAHAHHAHA HE HAS RISEN FROM 35 FIRST WEEK TO 3RD IM SO PROUD OF THIS BOY DANIEL HUGGED HIM ON HIS WAY UP

116.   Now it’s a compilation of good sides of Sammy boy and Jihoon

117.   Jihoon got over a million votes holy fuckin shit and Sammy boy is 2nd

118.   AND NOW TIME FOR THE 60TH PLACE AAAHHHH the candidates are Sangbin, Dongha, Hyunwoo and Wontak

119.   SANGBIN MADE IT THANK GODDDDD INDIVIDUAL TRAINEE PRIDE YOOOO HE RANKED LAST ONSITE VOTING AND NOW HES HERE IM SO SO SO PROUD

120.   Hyunwoo is tearing up during his speech…… poor boy got 61st place… this is so depressing truly a shitty rank to be at…

121.    So……. Moonboks buddy is off, Youngbin the nose boy got eliminated, MMO is divided, Yuehua Seunghyuk got left behind alone, Gunmin the kid who got hit with balls during his intro clip is gone and Im Woohyuk aka the kid mnet edited to look bad is gone too. Riperoni

anyways ya this was sad heres a screenshot of daniel almost falling overr w his chair + some other shit lol

holy trinity of ‘pretty and knows it’

save small cute sungwoon

[jazzwiththeclass-blog]

“Thought I told you not to trust these hoes, say they love you when you know they don’t…

Say they will, but shit…you know they won’t. Yeah you hear me, you don’t feel me though.

And you ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE.”    --- Jhene Aiko *Comfort Inn Ending*

 Here I am, pistol loaded and my bare hands wrapped around it. It was heavy, hard, cold… I cocked the gun back full force, and put the base of the gun to the side of my head. Finger on the trigger. ONE… TWO… THREE…* I n h a l e * and then a flash of my entire life and what I had been through played through my mind.

The weight of my heart was too much to bare, and reality had set in. I was weak then, and he knew it. My grandmother died, I was left homeless and pregnant with two babies, my mother abandoned me, family disowned me, kids’ fathers aint shit, 400 miles away. At 18 years old I decided that I was DONE. Done with life. You see, all I wanted was love, and to be loved… unconditionally. When I had my first child I thought it would fill the void I had in my heart. I wanted to have the mother-daughter relationship with my child, as I wished I had with my mother. I was constantly searching for approval, confirmation, & acceptance. There hadn’t been one person I met who accepted me for who I was. During middle school and high school I never had a strong group of “friends”… I was “the girl from St. Louis who was pregnant in 8th grade. “ No matter how much I tried to just be ME, my peers and teachers only thought of my children when they saw ME. I had become the epitome of “fake it til you make it.” Smiling my way through the insults, belittling, and sarcasm. Ending most days with a heart filled of shame and anger, crying in my bedroom…

Only this time it’s not just shame and anger, its embarrassment, humiliation, and heartache. The man who I had been spending the past year with had been living a double a life. I only found out when my best friend sent me a txt during Sunday morning service that read: “BBBBIIIIIIIITTTTCCCCCHHHHH!!! Code Red, CALL ME!” After doing her FBI/CIA google search, cuz you know women can find out ANYTHING, she stumbled across a court case with his REAL NAME, DOB, ADDRESS, & List of 5 baby mommas that had his ass on child support! One of which had a son who was four years OLDER than me.  This man told me he was 28 years old, and had two daughters who were 7 and 8 at the time. I had spent time with BOTH of them, they’d spent nights at my house. I was combing their hair, helping with homework, and going on family outings… The youngest daughter, Christina, and I had a special relationship. Her mom had dropped her off on Bernard when she was just a few weeks old, deciding that she didn’t want to be a mother. It was too much for her. So naturally I took her under my wing and would take extra good care of her, loving her the best I could.  I mean full fledge step-mother duties. We were talking about marriage, even looking at houses together, making plans on renovating and really owning my first property. I should have seen the first red flag when he would never be able to stay the night, when he wouldn’t answer texts after 10pm, turning his phone off at night… but could come over right after work for a few hours. I was in LUST with him, but in love with the idea of marriage—and a family. Someone to be there for my sons, help raise them. Teach them important life lessons, sports, how to play video games… the things any young boy should have. So I gave this man my ALL, like a fool. And he used me.

By day he was a security officer at the metro link who I would see every day. My red two-door 95’ Grand Am was a “point A to point B” type of car. I bought it from my aunt in Chicago for $1,000 and my mom drove it ST. Louis for me, which was the most miles I’d ever been able to put on it. I mean the car probably had over two grand in repairs over the year that I had it. So to commute to my job or to go anywhere more than 15 minutes from my front door would require public transit. Bernard was a tall, fair skinned, brown-haired, low cut, hazel-eyed, snack… at the time, to me. He would respectfully speak to me, always tell me how beautiful I was, and asked to take me out on a date. I had NEVER been taken out on a date before. Like EVER. So like bait, I took the hook, gave him my number and so we began dating. The first date we went to the movies, don’t remember what we saw… but 20 minutes in he almost broke his damn neck from his head falling back as he snored. I was just happy to be out the house, without children, and not on my dime. He slowly started to groom me, taught me how to cook, how to season my chicken really good. One day he just showed up with a box full of pots and pans, because what I was working with was the bare minimum. He told me he liked his women with short hair, like Kelly Rowland, so I cut mine (what was left), put a relaxer on it, and went to the salon for a new do. That’s when he showed up and paid the stylist $60… in all ones (questionable, but shiiiitttt). I felt like this was UNREAL, a dream that somebody needed to pinch me to wake me up from. Overly obsessed with being around him. You see, he had a side hustle, making good use of his beat up pick-up truck. There was a huge white sticker on the side with his name and number, and considered that his “way out”. His way to finally become financially stable and make a decent living. I admired that, and supported him in any way—even if it meant sitting in the summer heat, watching him cut grass. He took me home, I kissed him goodnight, and he went back home. To his WIFE, that I had no clue existed.

Rage. Complete rage and confusion as I’m cursing him up, down, in, and out.

“Soooo you have FIVE KIDS?? Your name is Harold??? WHO THE FUCK IS BERNARD? And you’re FOURTY-FIVE YEARS OLD?!!!”

My heart is racing, I can feel my hands literally shaking as I’m grasping onto the steering wheel speeding home.

“What else haven’t you told me?!” I screamed.

“Whoa. Whoa. WAIT! Baby I can explain, will you please calm down and let me explain?” he said, in the most unsure voice I’d ever heard.

“I DON’T WANNA HEAR IT! YOU LIED TO ME! YOU COULD BE MY DAD!”

Tears are running down my cheeks, my vision is getting blurry, and I am HOT. I can feel the warmness all over my body. It was in this moment that I understood how women go to jail for murder every day. Every thought of how to get away with murder crossed my mind. I was ready to roll up on him WITH my girl and smash some windows with 3 complementary flat tires.

“Mommy, I want a snack!” my four year old daughter whined.

I looked over my shoulder and instantly snapped out of my rage. Staring at those three precious gifts. Wiping my face and taking off my now soaked lashes I turn to reassure her that we were almost home. I had to stop and seriously think this to myself:

“Ok jazz, just breathe and let it go. If you smash his car, flatten the tires, and beat his ass… most likely SOMEONE will call the police. Who’s gonna have the kids? You have NO ONE TO BAIL YOU OUT or get YOUR KIDS within the state. Do you want them to end up as wards of the state? Do you want them to live with strangers like YOU did? Do you want to put THEM through this? Is HE worth losing your kids over? Do you wanna end up just like your mom?! …. HELL NO!!! SO GET IT TOGETHA!”

I went back home, settled the kids in and put them all down for a nap. My phone had about 5 missed calls from him and texts begging me to pick up the phone. I gave in and answered: MISTAKE ONE. Because as mad as I was at him, I thought loved him, and I wanted to hear his voice. I wanted to hear what he had to say for himself. An hour had passed as I held the phone to my face, sitting on my couch with balls of tissue in my lap. And then I hear a knock at the door. It’s him… I let him in: MISTAKE TWO. We went to the bedroom to talk: MISTAKE THREE. He apologized for keeping his children a secret and for not being honest upfront. He told me how he didn’t want to scare me away or for me to judge him based off of that. Feeding me a long story on how he and his wife weren’t working out and he was in the midst of divorcing her, but they still live together. He said it wasn’t simple or easy to get her out of the house due to court proceedings, so he basically HAD to live with her, sharing everything until he could get his own place. I was naïve, and believed him. The kicker was that his wife had been the one mothering Christina all along. She wasn’t “motherless”, like he’d made it seem. So he couldn’t just snatch them away from one another. His wife had a strong relationship with her and would ask if her dad was taking her around other women. She knew he was a liar and a cheat, but what she didn’t know is that he had trained his daughter to lie. To cover for him when she was with me, and say Ms. Jazz is the one who “does her hair.” As if he was simply paying me, as a hairstylist—that’s all.

               One day while he was asleep, I went through his phone and got her number. After days of contemplating, I called her. I HAD TO! So we spoke for about two hours—she did most of the talking. Apparently I was number five or six. She began telling me of every other woman he’s been sleeping with, their names, and what they looked like, and what STD’s he’d given her. We began comparing dates of when I met him, how long we’d been together, and all the lies he’d told me. The wife told me she was his second marriage, and they’d been together for eight years. She seemed to be angry, yet accepting of the situation. We agreed to meet in person, and together on a Sunday afternoon we crashed his basketball tournament he participated in with a few of his old friends. There I was, the side chick… standing next to the wife. The look on his face said it ALL. His eyes were buck wide open, stuttering over his words, and begging her to stop hitting him. Baby she went all the way in on him. Then walked out, and flattened his two back tires! I got in my car, blasted my music and took the long way home to clear my head. As I’m driving on the highway, I turn my head over my right shoulder to check for oncoming cars before getting off the exit… and here he is STUCK on the side of the highway, with two flat tires. I said FUCK HIM, drove past, and went home. Now I’m pacing back and forth, contemplating calling him. Telling myself that I didn’t get to adequately say my piece, and I need to let him know. Knowing deep down, I just WONT let it go. I’m looking for excuses to hold another conversation---needing an argument. So I call him. And before I can open my mouth to go off on him, he humbly asks me if I minded keeping Christina while he figures out a way to get the car towed to a tire shop. He didn’t want to wait on the side of the highway with his 7 year old daughter, and I empathetically said yes. Thinking to myself “okay, you’ll get your chance to say your piece… just wait.”

               I waited for a few hours at my apartment with my kids and his daughter, until I couldn’t anymore. I called him again to check on things, and he let me know he was at Sam’s Club up the street from me and was waiting for a new tire. I knew in that moment that I was gonna march my ass up there, and I did. When I got there he was acting suspicious—rushing me away—but I didn’t budge. Come to find out, his wife was correct, I WAS one of many. He called one of his other girls to come buy him the tires because his wife had cleaned out the bank accounts! I knew what was happening when I saw two brown eyes cutting at me from the back of the waiting room, where she was sitting. Looking at him with complete disgust, I left him with his child, and stormed off. I went home, crawled in my bed, and laid with my eyes wide open--- the stream of tears soaked the sides of my pillow. The same week I scheduled an appointment with my doctor to get checked out, and he had given me Trichomoniasis aka “Trich”, the one and only STD I’ve ever had. Thank God it was treatable and went away in a week! But still I thought “What am I gonna do?! Why is my life like this? Why did I have to meet him? Why did you let me fall for him God? Are you even here with me? Why did you let me bring him around me kids? WHY ME?!! Haven’t I gone through enough?! “

Those are the questions that I screamed in my head. Desperately needing an answer, but deaf to sound advice due to the chaos I attracted into my life… I couldn’t get quiet enough to hear the answers. My mind cluttered with thoughts of suicide. I felt like a complete dummy. Like I had wasted a year of my life. I told myself that I should have KNOWN he was bad news from the beginning, but maybe everyone was right about me… maybe I am an unfit mother who will never be able to have love. I felt alone, and all I wanted to do was call my mom and cry my heart out to her. I needed advice, I needed uplifting, I needed to know that I was ONLY 18 and WILL NOT have it all figured out. I needed to know that my life was important and happiness shouldn’t be measured by the amount of love someone ELSE has for you! I loved him the way I expected to be loved back, but not every toad you kiss is meant to be your prince. That sometimes you’ve gotta be with the toad to learn how to appreciate the prince when he does come! But no one was there for me, all I had was myself—and at that time—I couldn’t see that I AM ENOUGH!

So the next time he “stopped by” for casual sex and a shower after work, I grabbed his work issued gun. He always kept in in the holster, underneath the bed. I let him have his way with me, and convinced myself that THIS would be the ultimate payback. That he would learn his lesson on taking advantage of young girls, preying on women with children! That he would regret EVERY single thing he’d done to me, especially giving me a STD!!! My babies were across the hall, sleeping in their room. I told myself THIS IS IT… IM DONE. Heart thumping so loud I can’t hear myself think, mouth is dry and feels like cotton, panting and hands shaking… index finger on the trigger.

3…. 2…. 1…. *C L A N K *

                                                                               …..TO BE CONTINUED