#hes so stupid i hate him

[ai3xx0]

i love doing aggies with my friends they always make me draw some.......unique.......stuff........

[ranskeysrdm24]

SHARP ENS YOUR FORDS TEETH

guh my art style keeps changing im gonna crash out

[how-to-humaning-401]

hey chat watch me throw this lil thing i came up with at you about this stupid cookie that i hate /silly

the stupid

hoh boy this is a lot more words than i thought it would be hopefully you guys can read /j

so i clear my throat and crack my neck and crack my knuckles this stupid vampire cookie here we all know him the local drunk lazy cookie mhmm mhmm

well i pick him up and squish him this stupid guy is the one that ive thought the most about how he would work with the way cookies are and to start off

we have this thing i scribbled together

adding on a little more to what i wrote there i feel like with food, he can eat it, but its literally not necessary for him to do so, which is why he has grape juice so often, also after all this time hes probably built up a somewhat decent alcohol tolerance which is why hes STUPID all the time /silly

now about this thing that i thunk up about him that ties up to the grape juice in the jam

stupid early in the am doodle BUT to inform those of you that (along with sparkling cookie) do not know what the absolute flying fuck vampire cookie just said

to put it basically thrombocytopenia is a blood condition where someone has too little platelets (the things that make blood clots n help to not bleed out) in their blood, basically having thin blood, which in my brain is the same as like jam but thinning it down with grape juice (that makes sense right) cant believe im putting actual research into making stupid headcanons for a stupid cookie

ANYWAYS

getting onto a different point thats not entirely about blood/jam

is him being a vampire yknow, he should get to do vampire things bc thats cool

but also along the lines of being a vampire make me think "oh vampires are usually portrayed as being super strong and super fast yeah you know powerful like that" but at the same time vampire cookie is a lazy lil bitch

which brings up the thought in my stupid brain "if vampire cookie can be this strong while hes this lazy... what could he be like when locking the fuck in..." and considering he was in the meta at one point id say thats pretty strong (idk where else to go with that thought except for "he has potential to be a strong cookie" [obviously not on like a beast or legendary or wtv level but you get it])

also i remember seeing an interpretation of vampires where having a blood substitute rather than the human stuff like makes them not as strong so maybe that could be at play here

cough anyways about more vampire stuff (and probably an obvious one to mention) THE SUN is a deadly laser

since we can clearly see him out and about no matter the time of day i think its safe to say that the sunlight definitley doesnt kill him, if anything i think at the most itd make him eepy sleepy (which could be why hes just chilling out 9 times outta 10, and/or hes just lazy like that)

also with the sun i feel like hed just not like hot weather in general it probably doesnt feel good for him, but at the same time going back to the thin blood thing that also makes him get cold easier, so this stupid cookie needs the perfect temperature to thrive /j (watch him go through an aussie summer and immediately crumble/j)

i mean i guess ill finish this off with my stupid thing in the notes app at 3am

anywho i do a lil bow thank you for coming to my ted talk

[whats-a-username]

I just realized almost everyone in tllh has gotten an oc theyre shipped with…except ernest

Ahahahahahahahah loser no gf no bf no nothing

edit why did this get attention

[muchimm]

His swagless look and cringefail personality have captivated me

Edit: PLS STOP REBLOGGING THIS I JUST POSTED THE FINISHED VERSION😭😭

https://www.tumblr.com/muchimmm/722790032160768000/why-am-i-obsessed-with-a-green-cringefail?source=share

[king-drawsstuff]

tsuki fucking dies lol

[mhlovingheart]

I CANT STOP DOODLING THEM SOMEONE HOLD ME BACK grrrr grr gr grrrrr grrrr i hate gay people so bad

[kaeyapilled]

scarameow scarameow will you do the fandango

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

UGHGJHTGH THEYRE SO FAMILY TO MEEEE

[froggieetmblr]

Hi fnaf movie dump but it’s mostly bonnie and abby

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

katsuki who breaks his sleep schedule ONLY on your birthday because he wants to be sure he’s the first one to text you.

at exactly midnight .on.the.dot. you get a string of messages from your boyfriend saying :

“happy birthday, moron.”

“i love you and all that stupid mushy shit”

“you better say it back. fucked up my sleep for you.”

“❤️”

he doesn’t even care if you’re already asleep, he’s already sure he was the very first one to text you but if you are still awake he’s even more proud cause you saw it happen. him who you (and his friends) tease all the time for going to sleep at like 8:30 sharp stayed up doing fuck all just to be the first to wish you a happy fucking birthday.

so yeah, you bet your ass he’s proud. and he’ll go to sleep and knock out immediately with a smirk on his face when you text him a “thank you sm, katsuki !!! i love you sosooososos much💕💕”

“yeah you better. go to bed, g’night <3”

n’ yeah okay, maybe he’ll be a bit crankier than usual, but it’ll be worth it seeing how bright you smile and jump to hug him, kissing all over his cheek with thank you’s and love you’s.

he’ll just take it out on kaminari.

[coatabyss]

how is every single person in my family incapable of finding a good partner

[benevolenterrancy]

A man needs a hobby while he's waiting for his beloved disciple to return from the dead and torture him!!!

(SQQ is a complete fucking freak and I love him so much)

[spadekki]

stiuop chibis i made for a friends discord server

note this or i will zap you with my fingers

[victorborkowski]

jaheira: you are that hope.

aedrys: :)

[egophiliac]

Hello ! I positively adore the running joke of Idia unknowingly finding Lilia to be the coolest guy ever whenever he doesn't know it's him, like when Silver described his father, or obviously with muscle red. I can't say what'd be funnier, Idia finding out his online best friend is actually Lilia, resident spooky hyper fairy; or them both never finding out, and it'd become even more ridiculous as time goes on. How do you think it'll play out ? You're always so on point

(Also, though it makes sense, I'm still devastated bat boy didn't get a ticket for the Halloween skeleton train : ( does anyone mentions him at some point ? Like how he'd have fit right in with all those Halloween town little freaks, and how he'd have impressed them with his spooks and scared techniques; after all he's been every Briar Valley's children worst fear on Halloween for centuries. I'm on the eng server and I didn't wanna spoil myself by watching the whole thing on youtube)

Have a nice day !

you and me both, Idia and Lilia being oblivious online BFFs (+ Idia being incredibly intimidated any time Silver brings up his jock gamer dad) is my favorite running joke/subplot. 🤝 it's SO good, to the point where I also am unsure if I actually want it to ever be resolved or not...maybe, like, as a post-canon stinger or something? everyone's standing around covered in overblot ink, and Idia and Lilia's phones go off at the same time...

(legit I do think this is part of why Idia couldn't be present for Lilia's dream, because for some reason Lilia decided he was going to just. embody his past self online. he probably quotes his own battle strategies or whatever in the middle of boss fights. Idia didn't pick up on the whole "oh how weird that we both live on a super remote island" thing, but he would spend thirty seconds listening to General Lilia describing siege warfare and be like "w-wait")

all that aside, however it does end up happening, I do see Lilia being very blasé and all "oh! cool!" about it. y'know, taking it very much in stride! and Idia...very much not.

(can't tell if tumblr is going to chew this into illegibility or not, this will be a fun surprise ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ)

as for Lilia sadly missing out on Halloweentown shenanigans...he does get one little mention as part of an offhand reference to the light music club, but so far no one has brought up how this basically is just Lost In the Book of Liliatown (Sebek's been too busy yelling about not getting to be in the same group as Malleus). 😔 honestly though, it's probably for the best that he got left out, because he would just settle right in and refuse to ever leave. canon would shatter. we would miss out on all the delightful angst of episode 7 because Lilia is too busy eating poisonous shrubbery inbetween practicing his very best screams, and no one can pull him away from it.

(I can hope for a sequel next year though...)