#hes rlly interested to me ???!?!! like on one hand i feel like Theres Something Wrong With Him and on the other i feel like i might just be

[potatobugz]

something something Molly Blyndeff who was forced into the role of an adult and wants to get out of that role, who wants to live as a child and go to school and hang out with her friends,

vs Sylvie Ashling, who presumably put himself in the role of an adult and got a degree in psychology, who doesn't like being treated like a child despite actually being one and would prefer to be considered an adult

idk just . parallels. things i noticed i guess

[aslongasimhereyoureinvincible]

haikyuu!! the dumpster battle ramblings

saw it earlier today and am going to see it again tomorow with a friend, am very Full Of Thoughts, if u dont wont spoilers for the movie well take this as your warning ig

okay first of all the sound direction, the sound direction was INSANELY good

this is absolutely a movie that needs to be experienced in cinema, the soundscape of tokyo gymnasium and the karasuno v nekoma match felt so vividly real it was like i was at an actual game

the soundtrack was great too, i mean it always is w/ hayashi yuuki

there were i think two tracks that used the leitmotif from 'above', good shit

the animation was also really great, overall it didnt look massively better than season 4 of the anime

which is fine, season 4 looked great imo (minus that outsourced episode)

but holy shit when the sakuga hit it hit HARD

tsukki and lev blocking, kageyama doing his thing, kenma and kuroo's quick, there were lots of really great sakuga moments

they also reused some shots from earlier on in the anime and idk maybe thats 'lazy' or whatever but i liked it, it was very nostalgic :')

they did re-animate and i think re-voice hinata and kenma's first meeting tho, framing it from kenma's POV, loved that

i think my favourite sakuga shot had to be hinata and kenma with the knives at each other's throats tho, that ate

not sure how i didnt know about this before hand but it made perfect sense to me when i saw studio trigger in the end credits, some of the sakuga, esp the blocking, had a bit of that trigger flair to it

so obviously they werent gonna fit in everything from the manga, and the movie definitely had kenma as its focus, but i think overall they did a decent job in picking and chosing what to cut

the one thing im annoyed about is the removal of old coach ukai and coach nekomata's backstory, i really i think it makes the handshake at the end of the game hit that much harder

other than that tho i dont think the movie suffered from not adapting everything in the manga, i mean obviously i wouldve LIKED it, but i dont think the movie NEEDED it to be a good movie

it very much felt like kenma was the main character of the movie, and the main focus, with kuroo and hinata as his deuteragonists

which i liked!!! i think framing the match from kenma's POV for the most part makes sense, and its fun to spend more time in outsider POVs of karasuno

rlly loved the adaptation of kuroo and kenma's childhood flashback, im pretty sure kaji yuuki voiced kid kenma too

watching their friendship grow and seeing them play togther now as high schoolers, AUGH RIGHT IN THE FEELS

theres also a montage of kid kuroo barging into kenma's room to demand they go play volleyball together that ends on kuroo doing so whilst kenma's changing/putting on trousers which was rlly funny and silly

the stuff with kuroo and tsukki was so good too

'thanks to everyone, occasionally it's fun', 'thank god i wasnt wrong', 'he's a man who walks ahead of me'

AUUUGHHHHHH IT WAS SO GOOD :')

the scene that completely stole my breath away though was kageyama setting the open toss to hinata

i know ive already lost my mind over the whole 'threat of trust' thing and truly, the inarizaki match goes insane with that concept i will always adore it

but holy shit that scene smacked me over the head, HARD, with the concept of 'setting as a love language'

i just... i literally dont even have words for it it was SO amazingly good, i legitimately teared up in the cinema

speaking of other great scenes;

'stay interesting, 'kay?'

OHHHHH GODDDDDDDDDD

they did it perfectly

the music and the soundscape completely cutting out, the background whiting out so its just kenma and the net, kaji yuuki's delivery of the line

it genuinely felt like something out of a horror movie, it was creepy, and unsettling, and PERFECT

also;

hinata's reaction after kenma collapses and says 'that was fun'

murase ayumu's delivery was so VISCERAL, dude got in that booth and CHEERED

you really felt hinata's sheer utter come through in that little scene, same with kuroo's incredulous laugh

the end of the match was slightly a mixed bag for me

on the good hand;

having done from kenma's first person POV was cool, i dont think haikyuu's ever really done that before, and it looked awesome

cutting back on the music and background soundscaping so we just focus on kenma's breathing and the sound of the ball/players jumping/shoes squeaking etc was a great way to really immerse the viewer in the scene, and put us inside kenma's head

on the bad hand;

it was anticlimatic, and i KNOW the whole point of the end of the match is that its anticlimatic,

but i had always imagined the scene with dramatic swelling music and the characters running frantically, only for it to all cut away when the ball slips and all you can hear is kenma's 'ah-' and there'd be a close-up of his facial expression

the stage play did a very similar thing and it worked EXTREMELY well imo

instead by doing it in the first person POV and already not having music it just,,, didnt feel quite as impactful as it shouldve imo??

like the match points for the seijoh, shiratorizawa, or inarizaki matches were done really dramatically

and i know the whole point is that the nekoma match is kinda an outlier in that it ends in that anticlimatic way with the ball slipping, and theres that big beat with hinata calling out 'nice serve' to tanaka before the realisation sets in that theyve won, but jusstttt

idk like it certainly wasnt BAD, i still DEEPLY DEEPLY enjoyed it, but just personally if i'd been the director i wouldve done it differently

also!! because it was from his first person POV we didnt get to see kenma's face on the 'idiot! the ball hasn't dropped yet!!!' line, which was pretty disapointing ngl i rlly love that scene how it is in the manga

ok enough complaining tho back to the infinite list of stuff i loved about the movie

the camera work! good god the camera work was so fucking cool

it really made the space of the gymnasium feel 3d and real, the way the camera would move over and through the net with the ball helped emphasise the physicality of the players and the court

i know jack shit about cinematography but yeah, after the sound design the camera work was prolly the best thing

the post credits scene was great!! daishou trying and failing to neg kuroo cracks me up every damn time

and the set up for the kamomedai match was so hype

speaking of; the very vague forshadowing for hinata's fever of him having flushed cheeks and not being all exhausted after the game like the others, auughhh my heartttt

if he isnt already, this movie will make kenma one of your top 5 haikyuu characters

seriously i love how they switched the perspective and framing so it was a bit more like kenma was the 'main character' of this match and hinata was the 'rival'

overall the movie was cool, creative, and a really clearly loving adaptation, im more than happy to be paying to see it again tmr lol

i'll probably have even more to say after seeing it a 2nd time so tune in for that ig

[k1rameki]

THE TIME HAS COME EVERYONE. ITS TIME TO TALK ABOUT MY EXTENSIVE LIST OF TABI HEADCANONS (hcs are under the cut plus this also counts as a little debrief of his human design bc jesus christ i put so much effort into making this man's design it went through a LOT of trial and error before settling on what i got now considering ive gradually made him less and less "human")

also quick thing b4 i proceed – please please PLEASE ask before making things w my tabi design bc ive seen a rlly cool papercraft made w/o my knowledge and that was kinda sucky so ya thats around it (other than the basics of no nsfw and such)

APPEARANCE HCS

first and foremost — hes half japanese because i remember his aside counterpart being japanese iirc and i thought that was really cool and wanted to implement that into my own little hc (also he speaks like a dozen languages bc of another thing i'll go into detail with in a bit

so many different facial features, scarring (theres a very elaborate reason for this tbh), moles, freckles, etc all bc why not?? (freckles is primarily bc of my bestie crow and now im obsessed)

lashes bc why not, give every man a pair of lashes i think theyre pretty

PIERCINGS. so many piercings. this is primarily because i am a very firm believer that tabi gets piercings done because he wants to feel human again so he finds comfort in decorating himself as much as possible for that reason and also the aesthetic

broken horn bc of the mod events, damage beyond repair and whatnot

HE HAS LONG HAIR BC I SAID SO ‼️‼️ i figured considering he's been invisible for so long he never really knew what to do when it came to cutting his hair, so eventually it grew out to around his waist, and he kept that hairstyle ever since (he prefers wearing his hair in a ponytail or smth bc sensory issues when it comes to hair touching his skin)

a lot of tater's hcs infected my brain hehehehehe especially the tail and his hands still being what they were when they were cursed (also. paw beans. /vpos)

HES TRANS ‼️‼️ hes also very dumb and has very little regard for his health and forgets to take his binder off a lot (trust me he gets scolded a lot for that)

GENERAL HCS

hes autistic and has adhd — the autism hc i lowkey stole from crow but the adhd hc ive had for a long long while now — one of his lifelong special interests is performing arts and musicals

chronic insomniac — sleep? never heard of her

plays like 5 different instruments but primarily specialises in piano and guitar

safe food is anything sweet or chocolatey — he has a massive sweet tooth and is obsessed w cookies and pastries in particular which ayana baked for him a lot (ill prolly make a whole other post for her in the near future but guys. pastry chef aya. hear me out)

an absolute boss at board games, especially monopoly, and he constantly loves screwing everyone over

extremely hyperfixated on pokemon and owns a bajillion folders filled with cards worth a buttload of money, and a dozen plushies + figurines (projecting bc pokemon is one of my hyperfixes dont judge me) his fav gen is absolutely johto

his eyesight is pretty bad but like. not bad enough for him to be needing glasses (unlike a certain someone cough cough agoti)

speaking of said certain someone, he and agoti do each other's hair a lot simply because its really fun and provides some stimulation, and also because it helps tabi practice with self care and such

VERY SENSITIVE TO SOUND AND TEXTURES, often times he will probably start crying if something sounds or feels wrong

sometimes he forgets certain words in english and has to resort to using what theyre called in russian

has the goofiest sounding laugh ever and i will die on this hill. when you get tabi cackling he will start rolling on the floor and making the most UNGODLY sounds

can speak like 6 languages fluently and a dozen others in simple conversation (NERD ALERT)

he sucks so hard at writing essays but is (for some reason) really good at maths

despite being the more serious one among his group of friends, tabis a dumbass and does a lot more stupid things than one would expect

[mokutone]

@pax-thuban left these tags on a post:

#well. first of all. this is so. bittersweet #like screaming and crying and throwing up on the floor etc #second of all. maybe i'm looking too much into this but. #it's interesting to see that there's blood splatters on tenzo's face /and/ his mask #if i recall correctly. the mask covers his happuri as well #the implication that tenzo lost his mask during battle. put it back on presumably /still/ in battle. continued killing #idk. just hurts #like something something anbu work forces him to feel more comfortable wearing a mask and conforming to a nameless org and set of ideals#and forgoing individuality #or like. something something maybe he feels worse that his face got 'stained' because it's basically a reminder that 'cat' and 'tenzo' #are one and the same and not two distinct entities no matter how much he wants to separate his identity and his anbu lifestyle #and the fact that the happuri is blank and doesn't have a konoha leaf on it.... he doesn't feel connected to the community even as he kills #for it... #i feel like it's kind of obvious that it's significant that the comic shows tenzo taking off his mask as he shows his weariness/depression #regarding anbu work and then how he thinks about kakashi as a jonin sensei. like representing himself as tenzo the individual rather than#'cat' a faceless tool of konoha in the shadows #i also feel like it's kind of noteworthy that the perspective(? is that what it's called for images?) zooms in on tenzo's face #first panel is mostly black and tenzo's body is off-center(?). like his face is centered but his body's not. and that leaves more room for #the black background. but the second panel fills it up with the kakashi thought bubble and tenzo's body comes into the center to fill up #the bottom half. and then the third panel makes tenzo himself fill up more space. there's less 'darkness' now #not sure how to say it other than. his sole saving grace in anbu at the moment is preserving his self and bond with kakashi ig #i also like how the black background isn't pure black. there's a tinge of red(? idk it could also be orange? but i'm taking it as red) #like one hand. maybe a reference to the whole blood thing. a reflection of how he feels surrounded by that reminder of murder instead #of just it being select patches on his skin #on the other hand (and this might be looking too deep 😔) maybe how allusion to the sharingan. how even though he left root #anbu still feels very similar to it that he feels reminded of how he was watched by danzo? #sorry for rambling. i am in an analysing mood today #but i'm also not that great at analysing visual art lmao

nooo no sorries! this is really useful and EXTREMELY flattering to receive such detailed thoughts, i feel like im back in a School Crit Circle or something, which is really fun and helpful. Critique like this rlly helps me understand what people are bringing to my art when I make it and how it's getting interpreted, which as somebody who wants to tell understandable stories via images, is useful to me beyond what words can describe!

like—there's no "right" or "wrong" when it comes to interpreting art, there is my intention, but my intention isn't necessarily what comes out (like how kishimoto somehow accidentally wrote two teenagers who he meant for us to perceive as straight, in the pains and throes of love for each other. like he wrote that, whether or not he intended to. i dont even actually ship s/n bc it doesn't have The One Ingredient for me, but its...also something thats hard to ignore about the text)

and similarly, since theres no way to objectively read a text, when you read it you're putting it in your own context, finishing the painting yourself with whatever colors you've got in your palette to use

that said! I can answer for my intentions in some of these

The blood and the mask: Practically, you're 100% right! Mask needs to be off to get at the happuri. That he's got blood on both his mask, and his happuri, means that at some point in the battle, he lost his mask and then put it on. In terms of art, I did this because the juxaposition contrast between the blood and the small amount of joy he's taking in thinking about a scarecrow, felt really important, and I didn't want to lose that with the removal of the mask. I also put the blood splatter in the same place, coming in from Tenzō's left, and splattering upward across his forehead area. Practically, this would mean that he was in the same position by a spatter of blood twice, but symbolically this implies that he is or feels like the same with or without the mask—like u talk about them being the same entity. I didn't really do that intentionally though—like I didn't think about it. I just kinda was like "yea that feels right. anyway moving on."

No leaf on the happuri: I AGREE WITH YOU ABT THE SYMBOLISM...he doesnt feel connected to konoha in a Real way until he's co-captaining, I think. He needs to be allowed to LIVE in Konoha to be a part of it... That said, if I'm not drawing Captain Yamato Post-Sunlight-Exposure I straight up forget that he had the leaf at all–I know it's supposed to be a Danzō thing, but I keep thinking it's an anbu thing. Honestly, since I agree with the symbolism, whether or not I forget or make an intentional choice not to depict it really doesn't matter I suppose

The Zoom In: Kind of the same as the last! i felt in my heart that we had to zoom in...I didn't think about it in terms of ''lessening darkness'' although now that I've read you write that I like THAT reading much more—esp since so much of yamato's themes in canon seem to be about sunlight and darkness...there's an interesting reading of darkness lessening (because he takes up more space) without light gaining any footing (he's still, as always, situated in the dark) about like, the little things that one can do to manage their depression or a dark situation, even when they still aren't able to be fully FREE of it quite yet (if ever). I think, when I was thinking abt it, I was thinking about making Tenzō seem very small and alone in the first panel, and then even after thinking about Kakashi, he's not quite so small in the panel, even though he still remains alone. This being said, the darkness reading is much stronger than the loneliness reading, even though they go hand in hand, I much prefer your interpretation.

the red in the black: This is interesting!!!! I like your interpretations a lot...in terms of materials this is only black india ink, so there's no red actually in it, but in the photo I can see what you mean—the ink I'm using is shiny because the "matte" ink is twice the price of it and I'm a cheapskate, and it inevitably creates shines of color when scanned or photographed. Obviously though, the lack of intention or the material contrast doesn't mean you're wrong—I saw the colorful patches in the image and decided it was fine enough to post anyway, they're a piece of the art as it exists digitally! Open for critique and interpretation. I like the idea that the darkness is connected to the blood very much especially, because it is for Tenzō, isn't it?

anyway, ty v much for your analysis, i was incredibly flattered to receive it, and i think you're actually super good at it, in my opinion!

[actualbird]

hihi PLEASE tell me ur going to write artem getting railed in a church. i would die. especially an iteration of artem who has like. catholic levels of guilt but isnt even catholic. hes like "i dont even believe theres a god to offend but that doesnt make this not wrong on SO many levels. can i be a sinner if i dont believe in religious si- oh fuck thats good"

// n/s//f///w text, religious talk, blasphemy, bloodplay, i didnt mean for this response to turn out into a minific but uh i think this awakened something in my lapsed catholic brain so

artem gets railed in a church (but before that, hes getting railed emotionally because 4 horny demons wont leave him alone)

wc: 942

ships: artem/everybody else in the nxx

hello, anon! and kjBJKFS GOD THE FIRST LINE OF THIS ASK RLLY MADE ME LAUGH

if this ask is bc of the excerpt i just posted, im afraid to say that that isnt for a fic where artem gets railed in a church. it's for a luke/mc goddess!mc au fic where luke offers his body (and hand in marriage) to mc.

HOWEVER, I DO VERY MUCH AGREE WITH ARTEM "CATHOLIC GUILT" WING. like, i project all of my catholic guilt on luke because hes flaunting that shit a bit more obviously and artem i see more being on a non-religious shtick of needing to perfect correct right. but with a little nudge, that shtick is so easy to make into catholic level guilt because why do you want to be right, artem? so that you'll be absolved of the sin of imperfection?

are you willing to get on your knees and speak your prayers into divine flesh for the forgiveness you want?

since in my luke/mc fic, im making em do altar sex, if ever i write artem getting railed in a church, i dont wanna repeat the altar thing. he'll get railed in the CONFESSION BOOTH. probably while still being told to confess everything he perceives is a sin hes committed.

very into the concept of artem not even believing in the faith hes supposedly committing blasphemy against. but hes fucked so dirty---his come dripping onto the polished marble, his moans wrenched from his throat and echoing in the hallowed halls, his pleasure bringing him to a heaven hes never going to reach now that this is happening---that thats BASICALLY NEGLIGIBLE.

HM. WAIT. RECALIBRATE. BC....if i write this fic, i dont want artem to get his shit rocked by somebody on the "good" side. i want him to get obliterated by somebody on the "bad" side.

and man, everybody in the nxx team is so delicious to make a demon.

what if it's all of them? what if they make a demon-y bet to see which one of em will be successful in seducing the prim and proper artem wing to indulge in pleasure?

demon!vyn does mindgames. he never even touches artem, he simply asks artem questions and artem needs to answer and his answers get twisted and misconstrued to the point that artem's repressed desires are brought to the forefront.

artem resists vyn though, tells vyn that he's not taking vyn home to "learn" more about those uncovered desires.

demon!luke goes for the "mark me down as horny and afraid" way. maybe artem is still a lawyer in this au and luke kills somebody for him---a terrible person who was let off too easy by the law---and with his hand still painted in blood, luke touches artem's face and artem loses himself in the hungry intensity of luke's red gaze. luke's thumb traces his lips and artem is helpless but to take the finger into his mouth, to lick the blood of a sinner off of this man's skin.

artem then snaps out of it and runs away, getting more and more conflicted.

demon!marius goes the full slut route. he starts showing up in inconspicuous places, making sure to catch artem's gaze every single time. hes closer after every encounter too until finally, marius approaches artem as hes walking back home after doing groceries. marius pulls him into a secluded alleyway, purring all kinds of dirty things. how artem keeps looking at him, how his eyes always scan up and down marius' body, how marius is very much interested in giving artem more than just the view, how he wants to give artem the chance to feel, to touch.

artem almost gives in

but then he remembers hes got poultry in that grocery bag he just dropped and slips away, flustered and muttering about how he needs to get this in the freezer

(intermission: nxx demon meeting

marius: his CHICKEN was more important to him than me!

vyn: bravo, marius. your cock has lost to that one.

marius: IM GOING TO DUMP HOLY WATER OVER YOUR STUPID FACE, YOU BITCH!)

it's demon!mc who is successful.

shes the one who finds artem sitting at a park bench in the middle of the night, just kinda tired and stressed and wondering if hes a bad person and mc connects with him emotionally. he isnt a bad person (and demons arent too bad either, all they want is for humans to be a little bit more indulgent irt to self pleasures bc that hedonism gives them lifeforce food to survive) and she tells him that hes a good person and he says he doesnt feel like one.

so she brings him to a chapel. theres not a soul there and she brings him to the confession booth. she says "if you're not a good person, then confess your sins, artem wing."

and he starts but she stops him. tells him to kneel.

"show me how sorry you are."

and he does.

he spills out every insecurity, every fear, every perceived failure.

and when hes done, mc crouches down to his level and tells him that hes forgiven.

and hes the one who kisses her.

and then he gets railed in a church.

[edit: comedy bonus of this concept]

[krakenapologist]

do you think ed is gay or bi or is that a silly way of looking at things. i saw you turned on asks so i wanted to send an ask and ur url made me think....

this is actually a question i have asked myself and not known the answer to lmao. but ill try to say Something regardless bcuz i ❤️ talking

so. as im sure we’ve all noticed there are very few women im the show :(, now part of what that means is the only woman i remember ed notably interacting w (i’ve never fully rewatched so quite possibly im wrong,) was the lady at the party. yknow the one who was mabel. and obv there was no attraction there lmao. so ill reiterate that to be honest- i really cant tell w/o having any evidence. like theres no evidence to say he is or isn’t exclusively into men.

now. all of that said. i think that ed is way more aware of his orientation than stede, as in, like…. he has acknowledged to himself that he’s attracted to guys. (stede, on a deep level, recognizes that he’s gay and then when he meets ed he recognizes that he’s in love w/ him, but he is in denial/repressed/etc for most of the season. and he’s not sure it rlly counts as love buttttt we’ve talked ab that.) like ed’s had his dalliances w/ calico jack or whatever ykw like he’s at the least very cognizant that he’s a, how you say, mlm. but he’s CERTAINLY not as open ab this as, say, lucius or black pete etc.

which. it is interesting to me. his right hand(ha) man is izzy “homophobia” hands. whom he chokes for calling him a namby pamby pining after his boyfriend (which izzy enjoys maybe a little too much but u know how it is w/ izzy hands.) and he very much avoids mentioning his Past w jack (although thats more easily explained as him not wanting to say anything in front of stede for Obvious Reasons.) but anyway it does make me wonder how open he is ab it. like. imo i feel like it’s No Secret and rlly pretty clear that blackbeard likes dudes but i dont think he necessarily wld ever . say that. as much as it’s an understood thing. idk idk if im making sense here , im just thinking, pondering…

ANYWAY!! I THINK WHATS NOTABLE abt ed is that he is not expecting ! is not aware that he will!! is not prepared for! falling in love with stede bonnet! falling in very gentle lovely love . that is not something i think he saw in his cards, though it was very very probably something he wldve imagined longingly. yknow. knowing him. but that side of him was definitely not something he indulged before stede. see, the thing he really learns from stede about himself is that some men should concern themselves with gentler things. which is, in a way, his main arc when it comes to his sexuality (as well as his Everything) in the season. like that he can fall in tender soft love, with a man, as a man. be gentle. and then that all gets fucked up at the end which is FUN&CUTE.

anyway this explicitly didn’t answer ur question and so here’s the answer uve been waiting for: idk. gay in terms of my url is the general umbrella of gay. dont worry about it. yeah it was definitely a silly stupid question thats why i dont know, its ur fault,

[babysizedfics]

are you still wanting the requests? because after the disaster that was roman trying to act like a cg for baby virge, I'd be interested in seeing it the opposite way around? like who is the bigger disaster here when it comes to trying to act like a cg

this ask.. is from july..... wow i take my time shskdhhs but please accept this vague bullet fic/concept/thing

Vee trying (and failing) to babysit Ro

So. One day (around september 2020) Virgil decides he wants to try his hand at babysitting — but the thing is he doesnt actually want to

he basicaly thinks bc roman takes such good care of him as his big bro that vee should be doing smth similar. he thinks he's a bad brother in comparison if he can't offer the same care for roman

roman always disputes this but vee wants to at least try it, he's curious anyway

He asks roman privately because he doesnt want to tell logan and patton abt it, he’s embarrassed: what if they say he’s a silly baby for trying to be bigger?

also lowkey because virgil hates the idea of being a cg but hes gonna try anyway to try to be a good baby brother (ironically)

it's kind of a recipe for disaster because as we have said before, vee genuinely feels uncomfortable around little roman if virgil isnt little too

it's the fact that he finds so much comfort in being the youngest of their group, he's literally babey on all levels and if roman is actung younger than him vee just feels weird

but they try it out privately in roman's room one day (when the caregivers have said they want to be alone for a while) - roman is actually pretty indifferent to the whole idea, he just wants to help virge try (he’s secretly doubtful it will wotk but won’t say that out loud)

virgil is understandably rlly nervous and uncomfy and generally an anxious wreck

So roman takes charge and is like 'okay what should i call you?' and virgil is shakily like ‘umm… maybe just Virge is fine?’

And then Roman smiles really wide and says ‘Okay, Virge!’

it shocks virgil because Roman has very suddenly become little, his stance and voice very clearly those of a child. there wasnt any time to prepare himself

‘Do you wanna play with me?’ roman asks excitedly

Virge is really stunted like ‘s-sure’ (internally he’s like say kiddo! Just say it, it's not hard! Arrggggh I can’t!!)

And Roman starts talking to virgil about his toys and what they do

at first virgils like ‘oh that’s really cool.. Um, should I?’ points at romans toy nervously

Roman nods and pushes a toy into Virgil’s hand and starts enacting a scene with the two in his own hands

Virgil hesitates to butt into Roman’s game, he doesnt want to get the toy to say the wrong thing and upset roman.. And what if he can’t think of anything to say? What if Roman thinks he’s boring? What if he ruins the game?

on top of that virgil is starting to feel really.... iffy.. he just feels a weird sinking in his chest while he looks at roman's childish behaviour, his tummy is in knots and he kind of wants to cry but he doesnt know how to explain that

so he tries to swallow his nerves and pulls the toy up to his mouth and runs it gently across his lip as he watches Roman play. its comforting

Roman makes the toys in his hands yell at each other and Virgil jumps a bit and whimpers

Roman looks over at the noise and says sorry with an apologetic smile, but then his face changes a bit as he notices something

‘Virge, no,’ roman says gently then he reaches out to gently pull Virgil’s hand from his mouth

virgil realises with a blush that he was sucking on the toy

'You're not allowed to suck things except pacis, remember?' roman says

‘Sorwy’ Virgil murmurs. he puts the toy back down on the carpet and hugs his knees to his chest tightly. he's wiggling a bit on the spot and tugging at his sweater sleeves

Roman pauses for a bit and then ducks in front of virgils gaze with a questioning look

‘Are you feeling little, Vee?’ he asks in his adult voice, using a slight baby tak for vee's benefit

Virgil blushes and quickly shakes his head. ‘No, ’m big.’ he's not supposed to be the little one!

‘Okay…’ Roman squints slightly at him but goes back to playing with his toys, this time getting them to talk to virgil to try to include him in the game

roman obviously noticed that virgil was anxious about jumping into the game so of course he is compromising by prompting virgil gently with questions

But the interaction with romans toys makes virgil feel so much littler

theres a lot of 'what do you want this one's name to be?' 'um... um may-maybe tibble?' 'okay, Sir tibble it is!'

it's usually small insignificant decisions like that and they get virgil to giggle a bit. he does suck the toy a couple more times but roman keeps stopping him with a smile and eventually virge just drops the toy and hugs his knees to avoid it happening again

but eventually roman asks virgil a Very Important question

'Prince Virge, what shall we do with the treacherous thief?'

and that is FAR more responsibility than virgil is comfy with having

‘Um,’ Virgil bites his thumbnail and looks nervously between the toy and Roman. he really doesnt want to decide something so important and maybe ruin the game

also he's feeling really melty in his chest and words are kind of tricky to say at the moment

‘C’mon,‘ Roman encourages gently with a smile, 'you can do it.'

and the softness in Ro’s tone feeds the liquid warmth in Virgil’s chest and he hugs his legs tighter

and he can feel his eyes tear up for some reason that he can't explain. he just feels small and weird and he wants a hug

Roman sees the tears and quickly kneels up and shuffles in front of virgil

he places his free hand on virgils leg and strokes a little to comfort him

'Hey, hey, it’s okay. Don’t be nervous,’ he whispers, squeezing Virgil’s knee

Virgil sniffles lightly and tentatively reaches his hand out to stroke the toy in romans hand. it looks like a nice texture

Roman smiles and lets virgil hold the toy and stroke it for a moment to calm his nerves. When it seems he’s calmed roman tries again.

‘What do you wanna say to the thief, Vee?’ he asks slowly and kindly, looking down at virgil from where he is knelt above him

Virgil looks up at him with wide eyes then back to the toy. His thumb slots in between his lips. ‘Hewo?’

‘Hi, Vee-Vee,’ Roman giggles and shakes his head. ‘I think you’re little.’

Virgil pouts around his thumb then points at him. ‘Wo-Wo lil.’

‘Yeah and now you are too!’ Roman laughs. 'But you're even littler,' he boops Vee's nose

This makes Virgil excited and he giggles and bounces.

Roman laughs at how sweet he is. Okay, looks like it's time to be a responsible big brother again

and really this feels SO much better for both of them. virgil doesnt like being older and tbh? roman doesnt like being younger either

'do you want your paci, baby?'

Virgil makes a mnh! sound that means yes and Roman reaches out to the paci vee brought with him just in case (yeah they both secretly knew this might happen)

Roman holds it up to Vee's mouth and smiles when vee gasps im excitement and takes romans hand in both of his and latches onto the pacifier

Then he thinks. he has one more thing to check before they can both be little: 'Vee, do you remember if you're wearing a pullup?'

vee tilts his head in confusion

roman frowns 'A pullup, remember? Like a diaper.'

Vee seems to remember something at the word diaper and looks around himself with a smile.

It quickly fades when he looks back at his brother, his fingers reach up to tug his paci. ‘Where baba?’

‘You want your papa?’

Vee nods.

‘Um…’ Roman bites his lip and looks to the door. ‘But Mom said they’re both busy. Don’t you wanna stay here with me for a bit? i can just check if you're wearing a pullup then--'

Virgil whines loudly and looks around. He is growing gradually more panicked, shoulders tensed up to his neck and feet kicking at the carpet. he's getting fussy

‘Shh, it’s okay, baby.’ Roman takes his hand.

When vee's wet eyes snap onto him roman offers him a reassuring smile. ‘Alright, let’s go find Dad.'

unfortunately when they do find the caregivers they are busy and not able to take care of vee, so roman actually grows up and takes care of vee until patton comes in later to take over

and that was very ironically roman's first experience of babysitting virgil!

[lnarizakis]

a two-player game (2 lives left!) | k. kenma

masterlist

2 lives left! | a two-player game: kozume kenma x f! reader 

STATISTICS

PLAYER ONE: KOZUME KENMA.

SHOCK: — — — — — 5/5

OBLIVIOUSNESS: — — — 3/5

ADVICE-GIVING: — — — — 4/5

FRIENDLINESS: — — — 3/5

IN LOVE: — — — — — 5/5

PLAYER TWO: (L/N) (Y/N).

SHOCK: — 1/5

OBLIVIOUSNESS: — — — — 4/5

ADVICE-GIVING: — — — 3/5

FRIENDLINESS: — — — — — 5/5

IN LOVE: — — — — — 5/5

(U/N): hello? u still there?

(U/N): hellooooo

(U/N): afk much? haha

(U/N): u didnt finish what u were sYing\

Kenma stared at his screen, wondering what he should say. His mind wandered, thinking about the fact that (Y/N) was somewhere out there, in the comforts of her own home, sitting and playing the same game he was playing. He thought about how she was probably sitting cross-legged, or slouched, or her back completely straight as she probably wore headphones over her ears, or earbuds tucked in the confines of her ears, or blasted the game soundtrack through the speakers of her computer. Kenma sighed, as he slouched back in his chair. A blush crept over his face. He was talking to his crush over a video game. It was practically like texting her. Kenma began to type once more.

applepi: yea im still here

applepi: so abt my crush

No, no, no! What was he doing? He couldn’t possibly tell his crush about his crush! Why? Why would he do that?! He immediately typed in a “never mind.” Despite some protests from the other person, the two pretended to forget that ever happened.

—

All throughout the weekend, Kenma sulked and sulked. There was no particular reason, but he just felt so uncomfortable knowing that he told his crush that he had a crush on someone. There was also the factor that (Y/N) didn’t seem quite interested in what he had to say about his predicament, unlike past times where he could talk about anything he wanted and she would gladly contribute all she had to offer to help the poor boy out.

And so the terrible weekend had ended. It was a nice break for Kenma, being away from everything and everyone; he immersed himself in the virtual world as he let go of all of his worries. But now he had to face reality once more - he had to face (Y/N), the terrible final boss. He had so many more enemies he had to defeat (his teammates, according to Kenma), but the powerful weapon of ignoring them always beat them in the end.

He wanted to stay in his bad mood for the entire school day. It was his plan, and it was a really good plan, but (Y/N) just had to ruin it.

Kenma sat at his desk in his classroom that morning they returned from the weekend. He stared at the nothingness that lay before him on his desk until he heard the sweet sound of (Y/N)’s voice when she came through the door to the classroom. He heard her laugh as she greeted those around her a good morning. He relished in the music as she walked towards her desk.

“Good morning, Kenma-kun!” (Y/N) chirped, as she sat down. Kenma jumped at the sudden words, and he felt warmth everywhere, especially in his cheeks. He smiled at the sound of her greeting, and said one back. God, no one could make him feel the way she makes him feel when he’s around her. He took a deep breath, knowing that his unrequited love consumed his whole heart. Ah, if he were only as smooth as Kuroo was and knew his way with words.

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

Kenma frowned; from a mile away, one could tell he was clearly in a bad mood. He hung his head down low, as he was reminded of (Y/N)’s date last weekend.

“Kenma-kun, are you okay? Is there something wrong?” (Y/N) asked, her voice laced with concern. Her eyes studied his face, discontentment written all over it. She wondered what she should do; if only she could consult applepi in this situation. The setter faced (Y/N) and he smiled.

“Ah, it’s nothing, (Y/N)-san, please don’t worry,” he murmured, hoping that she would get the feeling that he would like to be left alone.

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

And so for the rest of the time they sat next to each other during class, (Y/N) thought about everything that applepi had advised her to do with every problem that she had:

(U/N): help!!! i cant decide between buying a sword or a dagger from this shopkeeper

applepi: hm get a sword bc u will get more gold out of the enemy

—

(U/N): theres this one friend i have & i feel like she rlly hates me??/?

applepi: are you only focusing on the small details?

applepi: look at the big picture & notice her behavior around u,

applepi: is it different from when shes around other ppl?

—

(U/N): do u think its weird that talking to u feels like an escape from reality?

applepi: no i feel the same.

applepi: i think that talking to someone u barely know is a good way to let loose bc they dont know who u r

—

(U/N): how do you get rid of the feeling of missing someone?

applepi: i talk to them thru text as if they were sitting right next to me

applepi: like how im talking to u right now

...

(Y/N) looked down at her notes to see that she had written nothing compared to all the complicated words written on the blackboard. She had been staring at the blackboard daydreaming about how she had fallen in love with her internet best friend. (Y/N) thought it was silly, really; it was stupid how she had fallen in love over text on a screen. But those words, all of those words that some guy out there named “applepi” had accompanied her throughout her best and her worst times. She could stay up all night to see them up as well, fighting away enemies to clear the level. From in-game items to wise words of advice, (Y/N) owed so much to this person.

And Kenma had no idea that his crush liked him back.

+1 OBLIVIOUSNESS!

—

(Y/N) was a very friendly person; everybody in the volleyball club could see that. It seemed to Kenma, of course, that (Y/N) was the friendliest with Kuroo Tetsuro, the captain. All throughout practice they would constantly make jokes with each other, teasing and pushing each other around. It hurt Kenma; it really did. But (Y/N) did not know that.

In fact, after that dreaded date over the weekend, (Y/N) and Kuroo promised to each other that they would not go out on a second date. They realized that they were better off as friends, for Kuroo could sense in (Y/N)’s eyes and her words that she had the ability to break Kenma out of his shell, even further than Hinata had done. She also told off Kuroo, telling him that she couldn’t date someone who had such weird bed-head hair, much to his disdain. He couldn’t get rid of it! And besides… she already had someone in her heart.

But the point of the matter is: Kenma was taking this completely the wrong way. He watched with jealous eyes as Kuroo and (Y/N) shared playful banter. Her beautiful laugh rang in Kenma’s ears for all the wrong reasons.

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

As they practiced serving, Kuroo used this as an opportunity to try out his jump serves. He was consistent, but the one time he hit it into the net, (Y/N), who was watching for stray balls, called out to him, teased him to no end. The other teammates laughed on, especially Haiba Lev, whose serves were just as bad. Kenma mentally cursed at Kuroo, for stealing away (Y/N). He could never possibly curse at him for real; everyone would be in shock at his sudden outburst and ask him what was wrong. (Y/N) would ask him what was wrong. And if that happened… he would freeze up and definitely lose another life.

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

When they began practicing receiving, Taketora called out to Yaku to try out Karasuno’s libero’s “Rolling Thunder,” or whatever it was called, to which Kuroo made a sarcastic remark that Yaku could never pull off something as flashy as that. (Y/N) laughed, despite not knowing what the “Rolling Thunder” move was. Once again, Kenma mentally told off Kuroo to stop saying funny things that (Y/N) could laugh at. His jokes were the ones that made (Y/N) laugh; he knows this because she laughed at all the jokes he made over their chat in their video game.

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

During their water break, Kuroo and (Y/N) played a little chasing game as she playfully refused to hand him his water bottle. She tossed his bottle to Taketora, who then threw it to Fukunaga, handing it over to Yaku. Kuroo chased the libero around, who passed it on to Inuoka. He gave a hearty laugh as he tossed it to Lev. Silly, clumsy Lev called out to Kenma as the tall boy threw it to Kenma, who with his slow reaction did not catch it in time. The lid of the bottle flew open, and water poured out everywhere. Everyone else watched in shock, but the initial shock passed by them as they all began laughing.

Kenma thought they were all laughing at him.

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

The same ordeals continued even after the water break, and after a millennia later, the practice ended. Kenma, along with everyone else, helped clean up after practice. They also cleaned up the little water spill, which (Y/N) thanked Kenma for helping clean up.

Kenma changed his clothes in the club room. He was the only one inside, as Kuroo and (Y/N) were outside waiting for him. He could hear their laughter through the doors. Then they suddenly went silent. Kenma groaned, knowing that they were probably making out or something, as he buttoned his uniform back up.

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

He opened the door, and to his surprise, Kuroo and (Y/N) were actually not exploring each others’ mouths with their tongues. Instead, he opened the door to see a smirking Kuroo and a very, very flustered (Y/N). She gasped slightly when she caught sight of Kenma and she turned her flustered face away from his prying eyes. Poor Kenma thought that he had accidentally caught them making out and they pulled away right as he opened the door.

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

And so he walked away, leaving them in the dust.

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

He thought he heard her call out, “Kenma-kun, wait!”

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

1 LIFE LEFT! FINAL LIFE!

—

hello! thank you for reading! next part is the last part, so please comment if you want me to tag you on the last part! whatchu guys think so far? lemme know! i also take requests too........... B)

taglist (comment/ask to be added!): @i-bitch-you-bitch @cadememe @animefan7420 (wont let me tag u :( !!!!) @issalilmessy

[tfw-no-tennis]

hunter x hunter thotz so far

soooo ruth and i started watching hunter x hunter woohoo finally! we’re like 10 or so eps in so i decided to collect some thots below on what i think so far (i havent rlly been spoiled so im interested to look back on this once ive watched more)

first off i love gon sm, hes immediately so endearing...hes just a baby!!!! just a little baby boy!!!! hes just so cute and good, im so not ready for him to get put thru the wringer later on as ive vaguely heard happens

the first few episodes were really fast paced which i enjoyed and thought was for the best. the characters came thru really strongly and i feel like we heard juuuust enough about the setting, premise, and what a hunter is 

i wasnt expecting leorio and kurapika to show up in the FIRST EP lmao that surprised me. i love so much how the three of them like IMMEDIATELY became a family unit in like 3 eps lmaoooo it was like ok here are 2 parents and their son bam. also leorio and kurapika having a showdown on the boat (which didnt end up happening) was a wild ride 

i have like zero fucking idea what a hunter is and the more they attempt to explain the more confused i get. its honestly kind of hilarious how little sense it makes. to be clear this doesnt detract from my enjoyment of the show at all (if anything it adds to it)

oh my god fuckgin hisoka is the worst he hasnt done much but i hate him so much already. good villain writing/design so far, hes so hateable

ruth every time hisoka shows up: WE HATE UR PUSSY BIIIITCH 

the character design in this show is....a lot lmao. ruth and i decided its a cross between soul eater, jojo, and one piece in terms of aesthetic. the designs are certainly unique and so many of them are just so ugly hvbjafdbdskgs it reminds me of that post thats like ‘masterpost of jojo characters who look busted as shit’ lmao

i already love this show a lot tbh like the way its structured so far has been kinda atypical for a shounen, at least in terms of fights - we really havent seen a lot of fighting yet. also nen hasnt shown up yet and its reminding me of stands not becoming a thing in jojo until p3 lmao 

anyways in litrally ep1 i already loved the 3 main characters we saw...leorio is a wild dude, i love him sm, especially as a fellow medical binch who wants MONEY. like, thats literally me. and kurapika is also wild, like damn they rlly just dropped their backstory in ep 1 huh. like we rlly are jumping right into this 

also when leorio said he was a teenager i was like WHAT???? just like evryone else which YEA omfg. i cant believe hes that young lmao. kurapika too

so leorio is one of those 19 yr olds who looks 40 and kurapika is the type of teen who looks like a 12 yr old

and KILLUA i love him sm also....hes an adorable assassin catboy and hes perfect. i love how quickly he and gon hit it off (tiny bfs.....) and how hes just like, this extra as hell 12 yr old with a SKATEBOARD and ASSASSIN SKILLS and then he sees gon and is like guess im gonna fall in love 

i gotta talk abt gon again i just love him. hes so polite and cute and kind and good, i just love him...wht a good protag. his motivation is just wild too, hes like well my dad abandoned me to go off and be a hunter (which he isnt even mad abt, what a nice lad) so im gonna do that to see what the deal is

i love how gon (just like the audience) doesnt really know what a hunter does/is and just goes into the exam totally blind lmao. also the fact that his skills seem to include jumping good, being speedy, having the energy typical of a 12 yr old, being a weather sniffer, being nice, and having good instincts/constitution as a result of having eaten random grass and forest shit growing up...amazing. 

is this gonna turn out to be one of those things where its like, wow theyve been using nen this whole time without realizing! tht would honestly explain a lot lmao 

i really enjoy how like....semi-normal the power levels are rn? while also being all over the place and wack as fucks obvs (like hisoka dissolving that guys arms in his first appearance was A Lot, as well as all the card stuff hes done..). like the part wher that blue guys (evil franky one piece) punches the ground and it leaves a crater and everyones like !!!! wow wtf thats unnatural! that literally threw me off bc that kinda thing is so normal in anime lmaoooo. but i like that thats the starting point bc it leaves a lot of room for power escalation w/out it getting too out of hand 

specifially our protags are starting out pretty low on the Shounen Badass scale - especially gon (and leorio, tho i kinda predict he wont be as fight-y? what with him being premed)

i find it kinda hilarious how killua hasnt done too much (aside from murdering those 2 randos in like half a second) despite being so clearly skilled...like when they have to do the 5v5 fight thing in the tower, i wouldve thought hed be the first up cause hes so badass but nope

actually thats what i find interesting - i was expecting all 5 (or maybe 4, we’re in the middle of leorio’s ‘fight’) of the fights to be physical smackdowns but so far nope, theyve been very cerebral. that bodes well, w/how smart the fights have been, bc i doubt the fights will get stale tht way 

tho they might be kinda frustrating sometimes - there are times when u DO just wanna see a good ole fashioned shounen beatdown yknow. but we do get enough of that now (and im sure we’ll get plenty more) to satisfy (like kurapika decking fake-franky) 

oh also the opening. its so charming and cute and i love the song...its also so hilariously basic and classic - like one of those typical 2000s anime openings where theres stock run cycles of all the main characters and theres a little animation of all the characters fighting together (and that fight doesnt actually happen, its just for the op) 

also love that leorios the only one who doesnt fight in the OP, instead getting saved from death by gon lmao. im curious if he’ll end up fighting at all (i assume a little?) and if he’ll use nen (probably healing type nen?) 

also i already wanna fistfight ging for abandoning his perfect angel son. also leorio is literally gons dad already, they even look alike wow 

that guy hanzo has done basically 0 things so far but i rlly like him already, im curious if thatll change. also sorry for calling u ‘hanzo overwatch!?!?!?!’ upon first viewing my guy 

tonpa is str8 up so annoying pls leave u pathetic loser 

tho it cracked me up when he and Evil Mr Clean were facing off and starting getting all detailed/shaded and i was like o shit is he actually badass. are we abt to see like a nen battle or st. but no....lmaooo

i found it interesting that leorio didnt really admit to wanting to be a dr at first...hes such a good dude, he kinda just let kurapika think that his motives were superficial and greedy when in actuality theyre selfless

also wanting to be rich can be a rlly interesting character motivation and i love when its done right

oh my god i cant believe it took me this long to mention the hilariously edge ED....like holy shit, its so 2000s, the song sounds like its been re-recorded like 40000 times bc of how bad the audio quality is, or something, idk how to describe music but its hilariously specific in tone and its rlly funny to see shots of the main characters smiling while this screamo whatever plays in the bg....wow. 

also s/o to killua for being king of edgy with that ‘tear of blood’ shot

i rlly like how much of the plot, especially the early hunter exam stuff, is moved along simply by gon being a good kind polite boy. 

love the fact that he and leorio and kurapika (and later killua) all team up without even saying anything...i love that, most shounen would have them be like ‘che, i cant team up with anyone, i have to prove myself ALONE or my victory wont be EARNED’ or w/e idk. who knows that might happen later but rn i love how they all effortlessly work together (and how they all contribute - without each other they would have all failed at different points) 

oh man also killuas first appearence was so funny when he drank a bunch of tonpas poisoned drinks and was like [smirks] tch, loser, im immune to poison. get dunked on. [skateboard away] i love him so fuckgin much 

omfg that part where killua looks all shoujo/kawaii and is talking abt how hes gonna kill his family or w/e and gon is just like ^_^? i love they

HOOOOLY FUCK I ALMOST FORGOT, BUT 65% OF THE REASON I MADE THIS POST WAS TO MENTION HISOKAS THEME LMAOOOOO his music being like fuckgin, spanish guitar/traditional mexican type music is sooooo goddamn funny to me for some reason, like the first time it played i was like ok whats going ON with this spanish guitar lmao but then i figured out that its his theme and god thats so funny 

hisoka is also so fuckign jojo like he could so easily be in jojo. he and dio would be the fakest best friends ever and would constantly try to kill each other on the lowdown and shittalk each other constantly in private but be super sweet to each others faces. also they would hatefuck. no im not taking criticism bye 

i rlly love everyones backstories also, and i find it interesting that weve gotten to hear/see at least some of all 4 of the MCs backstories. theyre all compelling and interesting and i cant wait to dive in further 

also calling it now but kurapika is totally gonna get way too absorbed in revenge and get fucked up/disregard their own life (maybe in the style of robin in one piece?) we’ll see but i feel like it aint gonna end well. i could be wrong, i really havent been spoiled at all, thats just my guess 

hbahjfbshjf the ep that was called ‘hisoka x is x sneaky’ was SO funny that reads like a dora the explorer ep title 

also i had no idea the ep titles were formatted like that w/the x’s and thats rlly funny 

ok but the part where leorio - who seems to be pretty bad at fighting - tries to fight hisoka - whose literal first appearence involved him effortlessly dissolving a dudes arms - is so fucking funny. leorio rlly b a premed w/no brain cells....same bro. 

also i loved the Cutthroat Kitchen portion of the hunter exam and how not a single contestant was any good at it lmaoooo. do they not have the cooking channel in hxh-verse earth 

ok i love how the main characters are all intuitive in different ways depending on their own skills, like how killua can immediately guess that kurapika has never killed anyone before after they didnt kill evil-franky

kurapika joined killua in the Edgy Corner during that part also. like, they both have legit reasons to be edgy, but the shots of kurapika sitting in the darker tunnel part was kinda funny

also killua, a literal 12 yr old, calling out kurapika for being a murder virgin was pretty hilarious 

ok also i didnt know that madhouse animated hxh which is rlly funny but w/e i love the animation especially the occasional chibi parts and the facial expressions (like killuas ‘i love murder’ catboy expressions) 

oh also when killua murdered those 2 guys and his hand was all vein-y and his nails were pointy, his hands looked like hisokas do...i wonder if thats a legit connection or it hisoka just b getting his nails did 

kurapika talking abt how even seeing a regular spider makes them rlly angry was both very sad and kinda funny. kura u have so many issues god bless 

kurapikas smackdown on evil blue franky was fuckin dope tho. and the red eyes reveal was SPOICY 

rlly love how the individual fights highlights the characters strengths/morals/motivations/whatever....the writing is already really strong tbh 

ugh ok ive ranted enough this is a Lot lmao its so disorganized but w/e 

basically i love this series so far and im rlly curious whatll happen next. also everything seems pretty chill and upbeat so far (relatively) and i know this shit gets dark and im NOT FUCKING READY. 

til next timeeee

[sorvns]

daringhq i love youuuuuuuuuuuu.. step back y’all im bouta come thru with the superior intro sorry ya obvs cant relate!! jk jk wassup lads im urayai ( or ya can call me uri for short idc ), im 18, she/her, and from bumfuck nowhere usa! y’all already know a hoe cant write an intro but im here anyway so what goes on?

basic details

park jimin, cismale, he/him. — you know soren byeon, don’t you? he’s the twenty-one year old junior who’s studying kinesiology and living in thayer hall. they used to be addie’s party buddy, but now they have been ignoring the fact that she’s gone and have focused on moving forward instead of grieving.

birthday? april 1st. why? lifes a joke!

full sleeve on his right arm that ends in a rose covering his hand with a chest piece currently in progress

ears and nose pierced but he doesnt always rock the nose

emotionally stable? no. financially stable? also no.

loves the finer things in life but can barely afford the free breadsticks at olive garden no tea no shade just fax

hes a snake who loves that 5 finger discount!

selfish but also too invested in people he cares for

impatient af like.. chile

middle child ya he was dealt only the best cards in life

loves space and conspiracy theories #wow so original rite..

gets rlly obsessive over projects hes def a perfectionist

plays soccer, hockey, and baseball and is here on an athletic scholarship

bisexual / bitter / bilingual 

ADAMANT — stubborn as shiiitttttt like fr.. once he sets his mind on sumn and believes hes completely right cant be wrong then theres no changin his mind! at all! even if he realizes later that he was wrong he’d rather lower himself into the grave than admit it. he’ll also argue with you til the ends of the earth until the bitch literally dont have vocal chords anymore!

CONFIDENT — i aint consider him the bellwether for no reason. he always carries himself with confidence which he gets from wearin nice clothes and accessories plus always bein well groomed ig? like his hair is always done, not a speck of dirt on his shoes, that type of shit. even when his hairs messy it was done that way he would never go outside lookin like a wreck!

IMPETUOUS — this bitch reckless af! he does things to benefit himself and only himself most of the time without taking into consideration other peoples feelings or how it might impact them. thats not to say that he doesnt regret it after but lbr he normally? doesnt? see: selfish. hes just tryna get ahead tryna get that coin tryna get him sum gucci slides!

PETULANT — sulky, bad-tempered, etc is soren thru and thru! and he aint afraid to take everyone down with him either. hes def the type to stir up drama ngl but he’ll back it up too and he aint afraid to throw hands! hes been in his fair share of fights and tbh now that hes twenty-one and his ass is allowed in bars y’all been knew hes been in more than one bar fight with tons to come!

background rundown

soren grew up in a middle class family with an older brother and younger sister in boston where his mom was a bank teller and his dad was a professor at boston u.

he has two nephews and a niece who are all children of his older brother and he rlly loves them more than ANYTHING!

he has a super strained relationship with his father.. he was hardly around when the kids were growing up and he was verbally abusive to everyone in the household besides sorens younger sister.

on the other side he has a great relationship with his mom who loves to paint and always encouraged the kids to pick up something creative as well. her husband didnt agree tho and made her quit in order to focus solely on her job and bein a housewife. 

as they got older the fights started becoming worse and worse until they finally decided to divorce when soren was fifteen. by that point tho everything that his father said was ingrained in his head so he continued livin his life tryna please him.

he was def more interested in art like his mother but he pushed that desire aside to excel in athletics instead. he was really into hockey and soccer in particular so he became the best he could at both of them until he graduated and was offered numerous sports scholarships.

thats how he ended up at audeo university majoring in kinesiology which is the study of the mechanics of body movements. 

its also where he fully started his life of partying, drugs, alcohol, and sex using all of them as coping mechanisms to fill the void.

hes the type of person who loves affection, loves bein the center of attention, and thats a recipe for disaster especially when it comes to actual committed relationships. 

because of the stress in his life he mostly started doin cocaine to keep his energy up when he hadnt had any sleep and was runnin on zero but he does experiment with many others. that one is just his drug of choice ig.

because of his hectic schedule he doesnt have time for a job which means money is.. scarce so he started takin money from peeps in order for him to send them nudes or wtvr they wanted thru snapchat for extra money but SHUT this is one of his secrets so not everyone can know lmao!

but the truth of the matter is that while he loves playin soccer and sports in general he just.. doesnt really want to anymore and he doesnt want his world to revolve around it. he wants to move to paris and become an artist but he also still has that deep-rooted need to impress his father and prove him wrong so fuq him ig!

other shit

i dont have like a set list of plots cause i suck but i’m truly down for whatever!! throw anything at me and i’ll most likely fill it! i’m especially into angst but i’d love some ride or dies, party buddies, adventure buddies, someone who goes out to bars with him and does some drunk karaoke, fwb.. literally anything! this bitch loves to plot but shes also bad at it lmao so just smash that heart if you want me to hit ya up or feel free to come to me instead!!

[thecasinowolf]

Redesigning The Undertronic Cast: Day 1, Cider so very quick sloppy doodle but it gets the job done he doesnt even have hands but ignoring that I didnt do much w the outfit bc you know its fine, I see no issues w/ it ok so heres what I DID do 1. Curly hair No reason, i just hc him w curly hair bc i think its cute 2. No shirt hot seggsy awooga 3. Colored scleras I really like the idea of Cider being some kind of mutant or freak of nature, considering his bicolored scheme being kind of unique among the other characters So having colored scleras along side his multicolored ears and eyes would be you know You look at him and you can just TELL that theres something wrong with him 4. Vitiligo Going off the theme of him being multicolored, I thought a lot more could be done with that, So him having multicolored skin as well could be interesting Especially if some patches had like hints of green or purple in them 5. Multicolored hair No reason, just thought it’d look neat a few other things i did was i just took a few of the elements i liked from the various images of him and implemented them (different hair waviness, spots on ears, collar) something i forgot to draw was his cute little elbow tufts Whatever those are I think theyre very cute i would keep them if i was the one designing him but i just forgot to draw them im not rlly feeling up to making detailed pieces atm but you know someday i hope to be motivated and maybe i will draw the full UT cast to the best potential i can oh and also it might be obvious but the pose is in reference to the pose he’s doing in the most recent Cider sketch on discord (as of me typing this) so yes that is all for Cider Tomorrow I am doing Chronos Hooray!

[reluctantrfamember]

my dudes i have SUCH complex feelings over saeran and ittttttssss jussttttttttttt aaahhhhhh???????? ? ??  ?? lemme just. ramble incoherently for a sec.

like hes SUCH an interesting character. bc on one hand it feels p obvious to me that “ray” exists in the narrative for the sole purpose of mirroring rika in relation to v. like im sure cheritz knows that most of their fanbase hates rika and bc of this some folks may get exasperated over v’s frequent self-sabotaging in the name of saving her. we feel this way bc it seems “obvious” from our outside perspective that shes done way way waaaay too many fucked up things to be really worthy of saving, so consequentially they throw in ray to make us go oh. i get it now lmfao.

but.

even if that is ray’s technical function in the story.

he isn’t a perfect parallel of rika, either.

now, dont get me wrong. i aint sayin’ ray’s behaviour isnt bad or creepy. like the dude is o b s e s s e d with mc, and it wouldn’t at all surprise me if he’d done some digital stalking before the beginning of the game. (hence why he seems to already be a bit infatuated with u right off the bat.) and then theres the literal “unknown” factor to consider. like unknown is violent and unpredictable as hell, so theres rlly no knowing what he might do to mc if he happened to make a live appearance. his phone calls certainly suggest that he isnt gonna be as “tame” as ray, which uh.................................... yeah thats not good. and for better or worse this aggressive alter-ego is still just as much a part of saeran as ray is. (although i’d argue unknown is a byproduct of saerans abuse and thus ray is prolly closer to what saeran would’ve been like had he not been taken by mint eye.) so unknown can’t be factored out of the equation.

but despite all this, saeran is still a victim. we know he is even without the prior context from other routes. like it becomes plain as day from the elixir shit that he’s being used by rika, so its just,,, a lot more tragic when he..........goes. bc theres a certain genuineness abt ray that doesnt exist with rika. rika’s two motivations in this route are a) test v’s “love” and b) prove she’s The Best without really any actual consideration for how her actions affect other people. but ray? all he wanted was to be loved by you, misguided as that was. and whilst his desperate pleas to not be hated/abandoned were manipulative in a certain sense, i honestly dont think he was trying to guilt trip you. he was just. so afraid of losing you and your kindness.

and even then, when it became all too clear to ray that this simply wasnt going to happen, that mc had chosen to leave of her own volition, he doesnt go tracking mc down and stabbing her. he lets her go. 

like. think abt that.

think abt how this boy -- whose grasp of consent is obviously greatly skewed -- ultimately lets you leave him. he begged, he pleaded, he poured his heart out, but he nevertheless puts your happiness before his own. it’s not like he couldn’t have escaped mint eye with the other followers, bided his time, and come after you again. hell i half expected unknown to take over and get revenge for being “abandoned” by you. but that didn’t happen. 

so tbh? ray’s feelings for mc were a lot more akin to real love than rika’s ever were, bc his intentions were pure. he didn’t want to have you for the sake of having you, he genuinely wanted the best for you in the end. subsequently this meant he was able to do something rika never could: accept rejection.

saeran is honestly............such a good boy, in his heart. and its just so sad and infuriating that he couldnt be helped in this route. i understand why cheritz did it, i really do, but ray is so different from rika at his core. the love he wanted was real. he was willing to admit fault, apologize to the mc, and even let her go.

saeran choi could’ve been saved had he been given a real chance.

[survivorbehemoth]

Episode #9: “i hope that i'm out of the pickle and eating the... pickle” - Daisy

how i feel about merge: https://66.media.tumblr.com/68a1cf13a1ea5ca8ec0c6c8a044f92ad/fdb9160ed3342b6d-08/s500x750/a71a511c4f332aba10424d15b5e074bc9bbe5e0d.gifv

Click HERE to watch Szymon’s Video!

Click HERE to watch Daisy’s Video!

Click HERE to watch Chips’ Video!

Click HERE to listen to Szymon’s Vocaroo!

Click HERE to view Szymon’s Trust Rankings!

Click HERE to listen to Szymon’s Vocaroo!

Click HERE to listen to Szymon’s Vocaroo!

Click HERE to watch Daisy’s Video!

Click HERE to watch Rob’s Video! Click HERE to watch another of Rob’s Videos!

So here is my i guess merge confessional! LOOK WHAT I DID! I MADE THE MERGE HEHEHEHEHEHEHE. Voting cindi out last round was very sad but very needed, i think she was looking to have fun and cause chaos but i need some stability in my life rn, crackhead seamus has not came out yet and he can’t yet LMAO. so what happened is as soon as we merged Szymon approached me and wanted to call, and pretty much went on a rant about how annoying Rob is and how everyones so far up his ass, and that HE HAS THE IDOL!!!! And that Szymon wants me daisy and jules to start working together which i was like OH I LIKE THIS. Going into merge i wanted to reconnect with rob, and then keep my alliances with daisy and gage and try and just use them as shields to get into deep merge and then start causing shit.

In terms of my thoughts on everyone…. Gage i am very torn about. Because he is the person i am closest to on a personal level but i think game wise he just is rlly desperate to not lose. I offered him a f2 on our last tribe which i do intend on keeping my word on, but then as soon as we merge i just felt kinda off about him? And he formed a new alliance with Szymon Rob and Conor and didnt say nothing to me or tried to include me. Szymon leaked it tho and so im like oh ok i see i see. I think he is trying to have his hand in everyones cookie jar, but knowing he wants everything is off putting from an ally stance. But also last night he opened up a bit with me and i think he genuinely does wanna work with me, just perhaps not with Daisy. so i am trying to figure out like what is the right move with Gage, is he someone who can actually commit? and will he defend me if people like rob or conor suggest voting me? idk, but i hope he would.

Daisy: my relationship with Daisy is really strong. I think we have a lot in common personally and game wise we mesh really well. Coming in from embb10 i wasnt sure how we would work together but so far so good. everyday she makes me laugh and i want to keep working with her. Supposedly people are painting us two as a duo but i also think if people targeted us they would choose Daisy over me at this point which means i can embrace and keep working with her however openly i wish. Daisy i think also wants to more so work with Szymon and Jules which is fine by me. I think us 3/4 can work really well, it’s just about finding the right time to possibly take a shot at someone.

Szymon: i wasnt sure how i felt about Szymon at the beginning. Sometimes i thought he was annoying, other times i just thought he was being himself which i sometimes just dont vibe with. But him being really honest about his opinions with people shows that he actually is someone i can work with. i am a blunt person and when others are willing to throw mud too, it means we can work well together. I think he is very eager to vote out Rob and also doesnt want to work with Gage which i’m not 100% sure what my plan is yet regarding both.

Rob: rob is a big threat but only because he is so blatantly talking to everyone. dont get me wrong Rob is a great guy, but he isn’t a great ally just because he talks to me. I also know that he has the idol and clearly I aint the top of his ally list since he didnt include me in the one with gage szymon and conor and he also didnt tell me about his idol. Also every inactive person talking to him is not good bc i dont want his farmer ass to let his sheep target me. I think Rob may go home very early and he wont even see it coming.

chips/brandan: we arent working together. that’s about it.

Conor: we became a bit closer during the swap but i certainly wouldnt say he is an ally. more like a neutral friend. i think conor plans on working with gage/rob/szymon. which doesnt include me. But i dont think he has many other connections such as with dylan or daisy or jules. so im not sure how much he’ll be doing anytime soon.

Lovelis: he seems pretty inactive. itll be interesting to see if i can use our pre-established friendship to kinda pull him in and work with him but i also dont know who he plans on working with or doing. very nice and everyone agrees when he is on he is fun to talk to, its just about activity levels and trying to see if he actually is here to play or not.

Dylan: I LIKE DYLAN. BUT HE ALSO LEFT ME ON READ FOR LIKE 16 HOURS NOW LMAO. He was super fun to talk to on our tribe game night, and then in pms but then he kinda ghosted me but continued to talk in the tribe chat. granted i got rlly sloppy drunk last night so when he was free to talk more i wasnt ;/ So ill be interested to see if we can keep vibing, im defnitely open to working with him bc he seems like he would be fun to strategize and work with, but we aren’t necessarily at that point yet.

Jules: juuuules!!!!! amazing, fantastic, the best. but also not the most active. im interested in working with her and i think she appreciates me being crazy and i appreciate her being crazy too. also she is the main reason i won this challenge SOOOOOO. I think me szymon and daisy have a great opportunity to work with her and form a tight 4 if thats the path we choose to go down. Jules is here for fun and to socialize with people and i think some people are off putted by that but i thinks its fine, i just hope we have fun doing crazy stuff together and not against one another :D

THATS IT! MY MERGE CAST ASSESSMENT.

________________________________________________________________

SO I WON IMMUNITY! HEHEHEHEHEHEHE WHICH IS KINDA EMBARRASING SINCE I ONLY ASKED 2 PEOPLE FOR THEIR WORDS, AND THEN DAISY/JULES/SZYMON GAVE ME THE REST. Honk honk i love sharing, this is what communism is all about! But being immune first is kinda a great thing because it really puts you in a firm spot and allows/forces people to strategize with you. since i am unsure if i can attend tribal/live night it also provides some much needed security early on. i am hoping chips goes home at this first tribal which seemingly everyone is on board with. And then id prefer brandan or lovelis to go in live night. But i think Szymon and Daisy will want to vote for Rob. I am not sure if i want to take that shot yet because it might hurt my chances of working with Gage, but also leaves several more inactive people in. if i was confident people like lovelis and brandan would follow rob out the door that would be one thing, but i think it would make people like conor/gage possibly start targeting szymon/daisy/myself and that isnt a good thing. especially if we can wait to f9, and have 5 directly on rob and he goes home and then theres less potential for us getting outvoted

Click HERE to watch Daisy’s Video!

Click HERE to watch Dylan G’s Video!

I know I have been sending only really text confessionals right now and I am REALLY sorry about that, since pretty much a lot of my life has FINALLY FUCKING CLEARED UP I can actually start doing them, butttt since I'm a procrastinator on all sense of the word I'm just gonna type something here and be done with it okay?

Anyways, MERRRRGGGEE! I am fucking SHOCKED that I have made it this far. Keep in mind I really don't think that I would have had any issues getting to the merge keep in mind. Other than the shit I was going through early game and then with some other stuff I feel relatively blessed to be here. I made some connections on my swapped tribe which helped me stay around, and then afterwards I pretty much like... I'm here! I wanted to try and win as many challenges as I could just to help me get by, but then again I'm not the most TALKATIVE person in the world so whatever, I'm planning on fixing that now.

ANYWAYS going into live night I am worried. I was playing three games at once including this WHILE working and BEFORE I got COVID so that was.... okay that wasn't really that fun but still WHATEVER I TRIED GURL OKAY? And from the looks of it the first round should be easy with a relative chips boot which I am fine with. The second round though? That's where the primary issue lies. The only name I heard relative to that is potentially lovealis which I am down with. I got Jules who is a Brandan STAN, my Coco loco alliance with daisy/szymon, and other connections I have made with people like rob. Since after Chips leaves we're in the Final 10 during live night that's easier for my mental sanity. and with me/daisy/szymon/rob/jules, that is already HALF the votes. So I feel... good.

I did not succeed at the social queen immunity.

A social queen i am not.

I was told the vote would be me... so I packed my bags.

Then... a LONG time later they want to blindside Rob. I say okay, I'm down knowing I trust no one so trying to hold on to my smallest sliver of hope that this isn't an elaborate lie.

Then we get live round! If I make it that far I'm ready to party!

Click HERE to watch Gage’s Video!

Click HERE to watch Rob’s Final Words

________________________________________________________________

Rob is voted out 6-3-1. He becomes the first member of our jury. We then have LIVE NIGHT! At live night, Lovelis goes home 9-1 and becomes the second member of our jury.

Watch the Cast Assessment for this Episode and last Episode below:

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 9 - “He just told me what side of the fence to fall on” - Corey

Well that went my way for sure!! While unanimous, literally five minutes into the warzone I told Ian we have to go after Madison and Jacob. He agreed and then we rallied the troops. Love when a plan works out. 

An alliance called M&M&M was made between Matt, Madison, and I. We were thinking of doing Ian but we didnt want to push too hard because we didnt want to reveal our cards that we had something. I just hope us sacrificing Jacob will be a positive thing for us and not a negative. Im glad theres allinces forming now. Hope i can stay away from warzone this next round but who knows. Im going to try my hardest tho.

help. who knew that my blood revenge for wanting Nehe out resulted in ALL of the other Kilimanjaro reps to be voted off one by one. parting that with chips, there was 5 people repping that season... and now I'm the lone Survivor from that season. pray for me yalls.

Ugh!!! I blame Johnny for this. Scavenger hunt is usually my favorite challenge except the both times im doing it with Johnny :p  these are soooo weird again. Dealing with this challenge and moving my stuff from my apartment on friday/saturday will probably not get me immunity. Im still trying so hopefully everyone else is busy as well. I Curse Johnny but like only a small one. Like him spilling his fries on the floor. 🍟

Hosts: Another Ian confessional, hopefully he shuts up about his idol and actually give some insight into his game. Me: MY IDOL!!!!11!!1 IT IS MINE, MY OWN, MY PRECIOUS. On a real note, I'm not sure if I confessed this round yet that one of the reasons behind the Jacob vote was to put Nar in a numbers advantage should that come into play at anytime.  The point of the premerge phase is to build as many pathways to alliances/mutually beneficial voting blocks as possible that also have a vested interest to vote with you.  I have Maynor asking to be a duo with me, sure yeah man I do like you and hope to work with you deep in this game as someone that can help me cut Corey or Trace if working with them in the game becomes problematic, but I also know Maynor has a vested interest in Kait, which I do like Kait well enough but she can't be allowed to go on a run if I want a chance to make a run myself.  Corey wants to keep our partnership as secret as possible, which yes I do think is smart, it also relies heavily on trust.  At this moment in time I have no reason but to trust Corey.  That may change in the future, he wants to keep it secret, that's chill, but I'm going to have my own backdoor deals should shit hit the fan. Devon/Matt one of them put me as the scapegoat to Jacob, I don't know which and honestly I do not care which one of them it was. They are both standing in my way at this moment for the win.  That could change in the future.  The game is long and full of terrors.

this is it this is the round im goin to the w a r z o n e 

Im safe!!! Im glad cuz tomorrow is graduation party from my parents and didnt wanna attend tribal. But i feel like Drunk Maynor is being cheated out for this season. I dont have my drinking buddies. Maybe this season wont see Drunk Maynor and I could actually be good in this game.

Me: goes to warzone a bunch People in warzone: don’t target me at all ———— Last round: People in warzone: mention my name Me: flips that ish on Jacob REAL quick also me: HA NOT GOING TO WARZONE AGAIN FOR A HOT SEC BEST BELIEVE IM FINALLY IMMUNE. imagine that! I kinda tried for once! and I placed exactly where I needed to hehe.

Thomas is a fucking idiot honestly. Like, he has been to the war zone enough times to know that the WORST possible thing you can do is throw a name out on the first night. Everything always comes together a couple hours before tribal, and by putting names out there this early, he is basically just MAKING SURE that the vote will come down between him and Adrian. For background, Thomas came to me, still butthurt about being called inactive, telling me that he wants to vote Adrian. I am very into that plan, don't get me wrong. Adrian is one person that I have literally nothing in common with. But to come in, guns blazing, this early in the war zone is a HUGE mistake, one that will probably end in a lot of extra stress for Thomas. But, it is good for me, because even though Thomas likes to spill all the tea to me, he is someone that I could very well afford losing. Kait is finally in the war zone. This could also be a pivotal moment because I would be shocked if people do not gun for her this round. I don't really want her out yet because I feel like she's a great shield for the merge, but we shall see what people want. basically, even though I don't really have any of my closest allies in the war zone (ian, Corey, Madison), I might be okay because of Thomas v Adrian, and MAJOR threats being here. The only thing that could fuck me up is if Owen tries to pull something. I do not trust that kid and want him out early merge. But for now I am just trying to lay low and vote with majority.

against all odds, I'm still safe! Warzone looks like a crackden tonight and I'm nowhere near it. I hope Owen makes it out okay. Kait, though chaotic, is someone I'm getting closer to. I would like to have her around until around f9??? we'll see. Same kind of story w Maynor. I need Thomas and Stephen OUT. Timmy as well. They are on my Arya-style kill list. I've been immune for ??? 4 tribals in a row now??? I still have my save vote to use as I have not been to tribal since obtaining it. I have also acquired a rock-save thing that Ian and I dug up together. Basically, if we go to rocks, I can use it to save myself (immune from my rock being picked). Nifty lil power... Hopefully I also get this save vote and don't become the owner of a dead power. After tomorrow's tribal, we'll be final 14. 10 gone. only 11 more to go before I'm in FTC. or 12. I don't care. As long as I'm there in the end. Ideally, with Ian and Owen and I come out victorious. I am playing nice girl, liar AND schemer. The game is outwit, outlast and you can't outwit Corey Rae Jepsen baby! and if you want the truth, this is Corey. I suspect Owen-Kait-Thomas to vote the same way. i expect Adrian-Matt to vote the same way. Chloe and Stephen are wild cards. Trace... I am praying for to be okay as well. If Chloe-Stephen-Trace-Matt-Adrian work together, they could get Thomas or Kait out. We'll see! I feel bad wanting Kait out as I do like her but if she goes w/o me having a hand in it... I'll be sad bc I like her but happy bc I think she's too smart to keep very long. She'll catch on to me. She'll plan my demise, which is exactly why I need her close to me as long as she's here. Also - Maynor coming in 2nd? I'm out here busting my butt and they're gonna rank me number three? after someone who can't even barely walk and barely do anything and all he does is sit around and fuss and curse everyone.. I was VERY insulted. (this a crystal cox quote sgflksgls) But fr he said he barely did any. mmhmmmm.. If i was on the fence about him before, he just told me what side of the fence to fall on. 

Im glad Im safe. Idk how this  vote will actually go. I wish luck to thomas matt kait. And ithers but cant remember who from other side is in it. Today imma just keep talking to ian and corey to make deeper bonds with then and enjoying my grad party. Drunk maynor may leave a confessional later.

This warzone is by far the most crucial one in my game. I’m absolutely PARANOID at this point because Kait gave me some info that Ian is mad at me for telling Jacob to vote him, wasn’t my idea but okay. I’m at a point where playing in the middle will leave me getting absolutely squashed in the middle. My allies Kait and Adrian are totally at odds with each other, and Thomas is targeting Adrian and Adrian is targeting Thomas and like, I just wanna vote Chloe. I have the feeling that Adrian needs to go this time around, it would free me of the threat of being sign partners in this game and I’d rather leave bitter betrayals for the pre jury portion of the game. As long as I’m not getting votes and I can keep holding on to this idol and some semblance of good graces with everyone in the game I’m satisfied.

Well I forgot to submit the video confessional I will later lol but I want Adrian out. He seemed very d*ckish about me being inactive and I am not taking kindly to it. It seems Trace is with me and so it Kait and Owen. I hope I can get on more person so we can get Adrian out.

I'm highkey getting 15th again... and I'm gonna cry. Like this fucking hurts so much. People aren't talking to me and the few people are just talking about life and pretty much anything but the vote. Getting a third 15th placement will literally crush my heart and soul so much, so I pray that something works out in my favor.

So happy to be safe, didn't think I would be. Ummmmm, looking at who is going to tribal, i'm not sure who is going to get voted out. I would be so sad if Kait goes, but it would be a smart move in all honesty because this is the first time she's gone to tribal. Getting her or Owen out would be a big move, but I need them in the game for the time being because they are some of the only people who are seen as bigger challenge threats than me. Although I am only safe because of the tribe I'm on, I've never scored the best overall and so really it's an interesting scenario, if I was on the other tribe I would be at the warzone, yet on mine I got 3rd. I just hope it's not a unanimous vote because I want people to come back to camp with drama.

I feel more sick than I ever have and now I’m back in the war zone. How fun. I just hope I can manage to stay safe yet again, I feel like that’s unlikely though 

Okay so I’ve been busy af with my friends all of a sudden it’s almkst tribal nnnnn and it’s between Chloe and Adrian rn. Adrian allegedly wanted me and Kait out earlier YIKE so I originally wanted him but now it’s like matt pushing for Chloe This is rlly good for my game tho because it gives me and Kait something to bond over that sets us apart from matt. I literally am never going to turn on Kait in this game.... fuck. I hope she do the same .

Its Alcohol Time!!!!!!!!

Show just got out and barely anyone messaged me the whole time whoops! I think I’m about to get blindsided tbh this is too quiet lmaooo but Kait and I pushed Adrian so hopefully that’s it. If not then it’s been fun. This seems too easy so I’m not expecting much nnnn but if I’m here.... I’m goin for it 

Im drinking more now. And im nervous who is leaving tonight. Hope the people im working with stay alive.

Good news! I won the past two challenges and have been safe!  That is awesome. Even better news is I just searched Q10 and got a hit which means I’m near an idol :)

Okay so I’ve been busy af with my friends all of a sudden it’s almkst tribal nnnnn and it’s between Chloe and Adrian rn. Adrian allegedly wanted me and Kait out earlier YIKE so I originally wanted him but now it’s like matt pushing for Chloe This is rlly good for my game tho because it gives me and Kait something to bond over that sets us apart from matt. I literally am never going to turn on Kait in this game.... fuck. I hope she do the same .

I am drunk. And i miss havjng my drinkjng buddies in dani alyssa n jess. And havung jones be on call. I need to find some drinking buddies here to have more fun. Plus monty alyssa n johnny r doing amazing as hosts this seasob.

[curlyshepards]

LITERALLY i want all of them for curly shepard

IM SORRY TO THE MOBILE USERS WHO THIS WILL NOT APPEAR UNDER A READ MORE FOR

What does their bedroom look like?

idk why i’m such a firm believer of this BUT: tim and curly share a room, so typically half of it is clean and the other half (curly’s half) is a fucking mess all the time

Do they have any daily rituals?

every day for lunch at school him & his friends just go under the bleachers and drink. unfortunately curly has no limits so when lunch is over he usually just ends up ditching the rest of the day to go continue drinking somewhere else

Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often?

he doesn’t make a conscience effort to exercise, but he walks basically everywhere when tim has the car. so he’s in pretty good shape bc of that & bc of fighting

What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?

curly has never made dinner a day in his life and will never make an attempt to nor does anyone want him to. if theres nothing already made at the house he’ll either just go without or go to the diner

Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.)

he’s a generally messy person, but he takes pride in his looks so he takes care of himself. he’s always clean shaven and smells really good. his room, however, is a disaster scene

Eating habits and sample daily menu

usually not awake for breakfast, and for lunch he’ll scrap up whatever he can find in his house (probably ends up being a sandwich or cereal) and for dinner he’ll follow tim somewhere and make him buy him dinner. he loves eating at the diner and never underestimate his ability to eat breakfast meals at 11 o clock at night

Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time

his sole reason for going to school is to waste time (thats what he tells everyone at least but its rlly because tim will not let him drop out) but if hes not in school then he’s probably just walking around his neighborhood w/ his friends or hanging out at the strip trynna start fights

Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging

dont.....really know what this means. all im thinkin about is that chocolate stuff. but he likes chocolate so lets go with that. he could eat 50 kit kats in a row, probably

Makeup?

makeup sex? absolutely. he’ll start a fight with his boo just for the sex

Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such?

i honestly dont see him having a mental illness

Intellectual pursuits?

intellectual isn’t really his thing. BUT  i can see him really liking labs and stuff

Favorite book genre?

he hATES reading, but mostly because he’‘s dyslexic and he was brought up thinking that he was dumb bc he had trouble reading. ponyboy is the one that ends up helping him, though, and sometimes he’ll read to curly (action books bc they’re the only ones that’ll keep curly’s attention. there are numerous times he regrets the decision bc curly cant keep quiet for more than a few minutes.)

Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general?

(i can already see the purly supporters @’ing me yikes) but PERSONALLY i think he’s straight. idk what this means by thoughts on s.o. in general but im bisexual ??? idc about sexual orientation ??

Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.)

he’s got a lot of scars, mostly on his knuckles but a few up and down his arms. he’s deathly allergic to seafood but doesn’t care bc it looks gross to him anyway.

Biggest and smallest short term goal?

biggest: honestly just making it through another day is an achievement to him

smallest: he swears that one day he will beat sodapop curtis in a drag race

Biggest and smallest long term goal?

biggest: being as respected as tim is when he’s older

smallest: he will own a puppy at some point

Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress

white t-shirt, jeans, tennis shoes, and if its not too hot then a leather jacket. he hates jean jackets tho and WILL make fun of anyone who wears them

Favorite beverage?

beer. but also pepsi. hes weird.

What do they think about before falling asleep at night?

we’re about to get deep. on good nights he just thinks about his day. there’s never a boring time with him, so he’s always got a lot to think about. he could be thinking about a girl he’s met or just hooked up with, or about what his friends got into. on bad nights though, he thinks about his dad and how he never got to know him. he thinks about how maybe he’ll never be like tim, and he’ll never be the brother that angie falls back on (that doesn’t bother him as much as it should, but it still pops into his mind) the number one thing that keeps him awake is never amounting to the shepard name

Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?

just stupidity. he broke a lot of bones, needed a lot of stitches, and was bed bound too many times to count. there was one incident that tim loves to tell: the first time curly got into a fight. the guy was two times bigger than curly, but he didn’t care. the fight was done in 5 minutes, and curly had his first broken nose

Turn-ons? Turn-offs?

turn ons: i can see him really liking outgoing girls/ girls that are upfront. also neck kisses, collarbone kisses, hair pulling, back scratching

turn offs: daddy kink (seriously, its gross, stop forcing this on my son. he already has enough daddy issues) but nothing else really he will do basically anything

Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?

either a very crude & poorly done drawing or a sign that says “curly is the hottest shepard”

How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life?

he is NOT. it doesnt really bother him that hes disorganized, but it drives tim up the wall. he’s always getting onto curly for being a slob

Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all?

he doesn’t really care, but since he’s forced to go to school he might as well enjoy something, which ends up being the labs in science. he likes the dissections, mostly, but he thinks looking into the microscopes are cool too (mostly bc him and his friends make shapes out of the slides)

How do they see themselves 5 years from today?

alive, hopefully

Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout?

he kinda just takes it day by day and doesnt care about the future. hes a strong believer that things will fall into place if theyre supposed to happen

What is their biggest regret?

probably being too emotional and not toughening up enough when he was younger

Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?

SO this is an OC but his best friend is a guy in the gang named brian. his worst enemy is also in the gang and his name is jimmy and he fucking hates that kid.

Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?)

he’s probably the one that caused the disaster, so he immediately tries to fix it on his own. which usually works, but it leaves a mess behind that he’ll attempt (and fail) to cover up. a few hours later he’ll get chewed out by tim.

Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies)

so lets say tim dies. tim is the only person that curly is really close to, because if there’s one thing that he learned from his brother it’s to never let anyone too close. but he always thought that tim would be there for him so he worshipped him. but ANYWAY tim dies and curly shuts down. i can honestly see him losing it bc tim was all curly ever knew, he was always there to fix the mess curly got himself in and now he’s just kinda alone in the world. he’d still have the gang, but they’d remind him too much of his brother, so he’d eventually cut ties with them. it’d take a major, new person to bring him out of his stump, and thats if he ever really brings himself back to normal

Most prized possession?

the hand-me-down leather jacket tim gave him

Thoughts on material possessions in general?

doesnt really care about them bc he doesnt have a lot. he likes the things with meaning, but couldnt care less about expensive & nice things

Concept of home and family?

hes VERY family oriented and a huge mama’s boy, but he hates his step dad. he’d do anything to protect angela and anything that tim asked him. family always comes first with him

Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to ‘TMI’?)

it kinda depends. on his sexual life hes really TMI, but about emotions and family and secrets he’s really private. you could count on one hand the amount of people that he’s told private stuff to, and even then they don’t know the full story. i think the only people who would ever truly know him are tim and his significant other

What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time?

football!! and hes actually good at it. tim never plays tho so the only time he gets to is with the curtis gang

What makes them feel guilty?

fucking up on a gang job and letting tim down

Are they more analytical or more emotional in their decision-making?

more emotional!! that’s the biggest difference between curly and tim. tim will think of the long-term effects before making a decision, where curly is more of an “act now, think later” type person. his decisions are usually the wrong ones, but they make for a better story

Would they consider themselves a Type A or Type B personality?

i’d wanna say type B, because he is super laid back and easy going and isn’t really competitive (unless its for a joke)

What recharges them when they’re feeling drained?

getting away for a while. he loves driving and ive always seen him as having a little secluded spot that he goes to by himself during his teenage years. eventually though he finds the right person that he can take, and just being with them makes him feel better

Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither?

neither tbh. he may think that he’s better than some greasers (because honestly he is) but he doesnt think of himself as above other classes. he finds it unfair that socs and middle class people have a superiority complex, so it’d be dumb for him to have one. he just thinks everyone should be equal (but he knows theyre not, and for that reason he’ll fight any soc he can get his hands on)

How misanthropic are they?

hes very easy to get along with if you come from the same type of neighborhood. he’s open to everyone that’s cool with his gang, but he’ll be the worst kind of person to rival gangs and rich people. so he doesnt dislike people, because he can be a really cool guy, you just have to come from his streets

Hobbies?

football, fighting, drinking, poker. y’know, d00d stuff

How far did they get in formal education? What are their views on formal education vs self-education?

he graduates high school and thats it. and he definitely values self education more, the stuff he’s learned by himself ahve been more useful to him than the Pythagorean theorem ever will be  

Religion?

he believes in a god but never really thinks about it. hes not religious by any means but i think it kinda comforts him knowing something comes after life

Superstitions or views on the occult?

he doesnt believe in superstitions imo!!

Do they express their thoughts through words or deeds?

both. he’ll talk a big game and then follow through with his promises

If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal?

THE QUESTION IVE BEEN WAITING FOR OK if curly ever fell in love, it’d be with someone making him feel okay with being him. they’d make him want to be a better man & not just a mini tim. they’d have to accept that curly would always idolize his brother, but they’d also help him detach a little. they’d love him for him and accept the fact that they can’t change him. they’d probably be just as wild as he is, bc they’d have to keep up with his lifestyle. they couldn’t take life too seriously and would never know what the future had in store for them. i can see curly eventually being able to be romantic, but it’d never be in public

How do they express love?

kisses, holding hands, little acts of kindness (giving them something that reminded him of them, asking how their day was, remembering little things)

If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like?

daddy came to win

Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not?

nah i dont think he is. i think he’s kinda accepted that there is a very real possibility that he won’t make it past 30 w the way he’s living, so that’s why he takes it day by day

[survivorcordillerablanca]

Episode 9 Confessionals

dammit i aligned with the one person everyone wanted out in the merge first.. why is jordan pines still here? well im using my power and bouncing the fuck out next round--- see ya suckers!

i hate blindsides. like people are always like "omg BLINDSIDE haha this is so fun!!" no. theyre not fun. do u rlly like having to own up to everything after tribal to people u just betrayed and u cant tell them EVERYTHING that happened but u have to tell em something and tey always feel betrayed. not fun, and katies obv pretty hurt while bryce is hiding it. like im not gonna blindside if its always this unfun. i dont wanna spill my guts and be all weird bc i dont like doing it :/ but telling people who im voting isnt fun either idek

So the vote didn't go my way. Someone is working with jordan and luke. i think the way the votes fell it was me and chris on jordan, katie on luke, willow on me, and charlotte, luke, jordan, carson, zach on chris. everyone is saying that it was last minute and just wanted to go with the majority. but that doesnt add up. i was told that i wasnt clued in because they didnt know if i was close with chris or not. and that they wanted to flush the idol that jordan has. but if you all vote with him he obviously wont play it?? also i wasnt told because chris chose me to go on the wishing well im  pretty sure which is lame. we werent even close and i would be fine voting him even if i think its the wrong move seeing as how luke and jordan need to go sooner or later. im most betrayed by carson because i told him hes my number 1 and he said the same but he doesnt let me know saying it was last minute. but he talked to me right before the vote and said it was jordan so clearly it wasnt too last minute. willow voting me is so random but i need to make sure i get her back with me b/c i think i can use her. this vote has brought me and katie closer i think which is good, she really seems to think that charlotte was the mastermind of the vote and i kind of agree. i just dont get why charlotte wanted us to split and then do this. she convinced chris to split too i believe which is sad for him. but like why would she make a split if she already had 5 votes. so i think its maybe not her, or she was doing that for extra caution. anyway people still have these advantages from the auction so im wary and just want to win the immunity to secure myself. i need to work on my relationship with luke and willow i think b/c i think that can be beneficial moving forward.

katie used her power.. like why?? i love katie but like.. that was dumb. after me incessantly telling her, youre fine, youre safe. but whatever. (but i get her point of view too because i wouldnt trust me after telling her i was voting jordan then helping her split votes on luke then voting chris out lmao) hopefully the plan of getting jordan out can work this round even though katie using her power semi? nto really complicates the plan. patience sucks by the way

Jordan won immunity which is PERFECt because it means he can't be voted out but now I'm just worrying about me. I know we managed to get the numbers last round but I'm nervous about whether or not people will vote me off this round or not, especially since I'm the only vulnerable Copa at tribal council. That being said I /do/ have 2 idols in my pocket so I could just pull one of those but I wanna try and wait as long as I can before I have to use those. Ideally I want Willow out this round, I don't really talk to her and I don't think she trusts me especially after we played Dead Sea together and I had a hand in exposing the idol that she played incorrectly (oops?)! Zach didn't really like the idea of getting Willow out but Jordan wants to so I'm gonna see what I can do. It ain't over yet

*play like jenna.. play like jenna... play like jenna... PLAY LIKE JENNA*

I hope to be a swing vote next round 

Carson: What do you want to do about tribal? Me, probably: Blindside Zach. 

So we're talking about voting out Willow this round.

She's nice, but there are no real allegiances (as far as I know) that she has in this game. Her vote was wild last round for Bryce, so it should be easy to get him on board to vote for her too. Jordan and Zach both need to go at some point but right now they, and Carson, are the only people I enjoy talking to so ... maybe I'll play this out and just bring a bunch of threats to the end with me. Why not? Can you imagine a final three filled with people who actually played decent games? It'd be a blood bath to see who wins and I am SO here for that.

this vote is a little intricate. but before I get into that, I want to explain other stuff. I was so close to copying Jordan's score because I knew from a past game he got perfect, so I would only assume he'd get it again. That being said, I would've felt really shitty and it may have potentially fractured my relationships with some of them. anyway the five person alliance type thing of char/luke/jordan/carson/myself aint going to stick much longer because..... everyone wants me out. I wanted Bryce out and i got it going but unfortunately people are doing willow. 

Willow leaving is kind of bad for my game, but nonetheless it's the decision and I can't resist it much. I plan on telling her the truth, and getting her to use her golden fan so that I can maybe get a new power because my rope fucking sucks (well, sometimes it can, but its a tiebreaker rip) I think if she didnt use it, she'd give it to me? and i think thatd be fine but i dont want to use it because luke would be mad, so if she's leaving, then why not just let it be her since  she's leaving anyway? I love Willow to death though so her leaving is going to be sad :( I think ideally the next person i'd want out is Jordan. One of the trio of L/C/J have to leave, and i'm least closest with Jordan and despite Char being like... opened about wanting me out because i can go on a comp streak, i don't want her out bryce can leave too. i dont talk to him much, but he's a nice guy! the game's the game, and it sucks though. Also it's fucking crazy how already its final 8 like?? it feels like the game started lowkey like 2 days ago and .... we're almost half way done.. wait we are DSMGODSMGDS okay done

"honestly i love how in this game votes are determined like ~6 hours before the vote and its settleede easily for the most part" zach even tho we've only had three votes including this one and the last one he said he was" told last minute" so what the truth!!! I think we're voting willow here everyone seems to be on board but i was blindsided last time and theres no saying I wont be blindsided again. I really wanted to win immunity but i flopped big time but maybe itll make people think im not a threat. Im gonna try to bring me carson zach charlotte back together and hope for the best because it would be 4-3. but also i want to remain close with katie even tho she ditched me... iconic queen. She told carson before hand but not me so thats interesting i guess!

willow targeted charlotte and spread her name, and charlotte acc does have some power so... ppl (bryce) ratted to charlotte and now willow's on the chopping block. sigh. im fine with willow going i guess ill just need a new final 3 person for me and zach?? whatevs. also willow has a golden fan apparently that mixes up the golden fan so me + zach r gonna try and get her to use it before tribal so we can possibly get some items. also.. at the start of this tribal EVERY name was tossed out besides me and zach. this could be because people know we're close or maybe we actually are in a good position. i think its the former but who knows. hoping this vote can be pulled off easily and i won't be the blindsidee tonight.

Currently trying to get the votes to get Willow out. So far I think I have me, Jordan, Charlotte and Bryce and with Katie gone that's majority for this vote. Zach still doesn't want to do it but I may just have to go behind his back on this vote and not do what he wants but that's the game. Hoping this works because I have a really weird feeling about tonight. 

Okay so as of currently I think Carson, Zachary and Charlotte are the biggest threat and I want Charlotte gone lowkey 

But I'm at my friends house so I don't have lots of time as usual ugh, also I'm a dumbass who got the challenge time wrong also Bryce suspected it was me who voted for him last round rip 

I've been being jewish all day so im just here now, so first confessional - hooray jordan finally won a fucking immunity challenge, it took way too long rtp. like seriously wtf

Anyways splitting this confessional up into 2 cause tribal is soon and i got nothing to talk about, but like bye willow, you were cool i guess, we didnt talk. sorry hon

Okay so like its definitely gonna be me tonight and I sorta tried but I think it's gonna be a unanimous vote and I just wanted to say I love Zach and Carson and I hope they do well in this game and I'm excited to use my fan and stir shit up right before I leave and continue only ever getting 8th in side seasons  

i gave zach my idol bc im a paranoid bitch and have a bad feeling about this vote. also FUCK everyone for wanting (or faking) to vote out literal ANGEL Willow. i just like told her im voting her and love her and wanna be friends after :// Also idk. i have a weird feeling. if i am blindsided, then good game bitches.