#hes not the FIRST oc i fixated on like that but he is old-ish... enough

[ev1lde4d]

daddy long dick is back in town baby

hi. anyone here want a veterans discount if you recognize this guy?

if you do .. im sorry. but also we can rebuild him

[numbaoneflaya]

Can I get a list of all ur ocs?

Well anon youve done it, you made me make a list of all my major OCS in one place. I hope your happy with yourself. Under the cut for obvious reasons, may link in my blog desc later.

Modern/BTD verse!!

Jilly- Ferret beastkin little creature, was recently turned into a werewolf by vincent as well so she's running around on full moons in a wereferret wolf hybrid creature form. Chaotic and friendly and wants to be everyone's bestie. She has the most energy in the world and is very kind hearted. Banned from most Claires for stealing and from one Home Depot for climbing the shelves. Prone to living life with rose colored glasses on and seeing the best in everything/everything even when there's nothing there. Socialization is a must for her and is why being basemented/kidnapped broke her psych so quickly and developed severe stockholm. Sometimes overly talkative/enthusiastic and can scare people off. Even if she sees someone shes decided shes friends with be noticeably 'evil', will convince herself it must be for some reason/her fault and ignore it.

Ciggy- Undead punk still learning to harness his powers to interact with the world as a ghost. Was sacrificed by a cult he joined for free concert tickets and to get laid. Likes to cause problems on purpose both pre and prior death and he's not above possessing someone once he learns how to. Was called Rooster in high school before he dropped out because he's loud, obnoxious and always screaming. And also has bright red dyed hair. Looking 4 ways to become less ghosty bcs he wants to be able to help raise his infant daughter, whom he died before he could meet. Bit annoying and in your face, likes poking at bruises, his or others. Kind of a sad heart seeking attention through volume and persistence.

Mike: Vampire loser! Sells drugs and lives at raves. Was turned when she was attacked by a coked out vampire (whom she supplied the product to) and has major scarring on her face and chest. Needs a somewhat constant influx of blood so shell sometimes take victims back to her place and chain them up, slowly draining them over time. Feels bad (ish) about it tho so it is possible to survive her if you are nice and or interesting enough. Kind of desperate for a friend and for love. Is a stalker. If she likes you enough/finds you interesting, she might just appear in your house one night and start rummaging through your fridge like nothing is wrong and youve been besties for years. Its best to indulge her and be friendly, otherwise she could turn violent quickly if her feelings are hurt.

Kilaine- Regular human woman, but fucked up. Born and raised by an elite waspy society she had an interest in the human body and pain tolerance since she was young. Quickly learned that these traits were socially unacceptable in most professions, so she became a doctor. The only family she cared about was her younger sister who she lost in a car accident, where they were flipped over and trapped inside while it was afire. While her sister burned up in front of her Kilaine only lost her left arm and had major burns on her body. This tipped her descent into sadism and she is now madly obsessed with bringing her sister back no matter the cost. Rude and offstandish, clinical.

Dragon age verse!

Thurwen- My main Hero of Ferelden with a bad temper and a heart of gold. City elf from the Denerim Alienage, 18 at the start of origins. She's a reaver warrior with a lot of pent up rage which sometimes scares others when she lets it out in battle. Over the years she's grown less moody as she's had to take the role of Commander. Crude sense of humor and violent impulses, very sensitive to the plights of others and tries often to help. Never seen crying in public but only cries to herself at night- major martyr and hanged man complex.

Caz- My circle mage elf inquisitor who was an apostate before the conclave. Blood magic, but make it sneaky. Wary of strangers and new faces, always dealing with the impulse to flee/find a high vantage point. Endless curiosity about the unknown/ the forbidden/ naughty, was supposed to be made tranquil for it but she escaped. Kind of a little creature as well, lived on her own for a while as an apostate in the woods, filed her teeth down to sharp ends to make herself look more intimidating (shes 5 ft tall) and less cute (her elf ears are huge and expressive, which shes embarrassed about)

Dag and Thagna- Carta twins! Professional lyrium smugglers since birth pretty much. Raised casteless in dust town and had to work their way up the chain of command by themselves. Dag is the brother, Thagna the sister. Their father traded them to the carta for drinking money and their mom died in childbirth so they have somewhat of a codependent relationship. Both charismatic and calculating, friendly and agreeable but won't hesitate to put a dagger in your back. Hard to pin down morally or physically, squirrelly bastards.

Reila: Dalish elf who works for the inquisition/ is the inquisitor in some aus. She has an extreme fixation on elvhen history and rebuilding what they have lost. Not a people person, prefers solitude. Takes some time to warm up to shemhlen as she has a hard history with them. Good friends with Caz, who recruited her in the first place. Doesn't understand very many social cues and finds societal expectations limiting and frustrating. Fondness for halla and hooved animals, which she finds graceful.

Elder scrolls verse!

Valkya: Near seven foot nord woman whos over a thousand years old by the events of skyrim. Tall and buff, two handed warrior and compulsive hero there to bask in the spotlight save the day. She was killed at the start of the events of Elder scrolls online and had her soul ripped out and sent to coldharbor and she's just been a pain in the ass about it since then. Her body can physically die and will not regrow pieces. Her soul however will escape and teleport to the nearest source of power where her body will regrow from an aetherial plasm until its whole again. Loud and brash, friendly and jovial. Actually pretty keen especially after centuries of life but prefers to play dumb as it makes people underestimate her. Plus, she really does enjoy mud wrestling and drinking contests and acting generally like a rambunctious frat boy. Ha developed a bit of a substance problem and a problem with acting out, as after being alive so long she would turn to anything to dull the ache inside of her that never goes away.

Espira- My Dragonborn! Redguard from Hammerfell who was briefly in the Ash’abah due to killing undead while protecting her parents water farm as a child. Ran away from them after years and went to Cyrodille, then to Skyrim and was caught crossing the border. Reserved, kind and soft spoken, she's a sword and shield warrior who's committed herself to doing good in the world by helping others. Dislikes killing and anything messy but believes it is often necessary in order to protect the weak. She blacksmiths often to save money on the upkeep of her own equipment, and takes up metal jewelry working as a hobby with the excess material. Prone to trusting others too much and giving too many second chances, as shes always looking for ways to make even the most hardened criminal a second look at life.

Riley- Espiras little brother who she locked in the wardrobe during the event of the water farm attack. In preventing him from doing violence against the undead she kept him from being conscripted into the Ash’abah. He's way more chaotic than his sister, and suffers from a case of little sibling syndrome in which he will often pester/poke at people just to get a rise out of them. Still kind hearted as his sister, he tries to hide it because he believes that the world is a cruel place and the cruel survive. Despite that belief he is often still unable to force himself to be cruel/careless, only making a show of it so that others leave him alone and don't see that he's very sensitive and emotional. Deaf in one ear due to a magic mishap in his youth, he trained and enchanted his most beloved rats to live for years and sit on his shoulder, alerting him to noises he would not otherwise notice.

Felria: Evil vamp :/ chaotic evil dunmer necromancer. Small and devilish and likes dead bodies too much. Manipulative and cunning, she loves acting. She's a trained assassin for the dark brotherhood and is the speaker. Likes dressing up for missions and wearing disguises like its all a play. Loves toying with people more than she loves killing them, will act in ways that cause as much trauma as possible for other people just for fun and she finds the reactions interesting. Considers herself too far removed from most people's perception of morality and of her so it's hard for her to trust someone or see them as worthy of knowing her. Finds the psychology of grief and fear to be interesting and wants to study them first hand. The hero of kvatch.

Herren: Fifty something year old rat woman looking for something to keep her going. Ran away from her wealthy family in her youth when they wanted her to take charge of the household, instead became an infamous jewel thief and swashbuckler. Spent most of her life traveling and stealing and double dealing. She's smarmy and sarcastic, a serial romancer of the highest caliber. Bit of a show off and a hedonist, always looking for the next good party or new product to snort. Her family died off due to the hard times she wasn't there for and she keeps looking for bigger and bigger heists to fill her appetite as she's chronically bored and lonely, though wont accept intimacy and will scoff at it out of the belief she doesn't deserve it. Irresponsible and selfish, lonely and terrified of any sort of commitment. Fun to party with though!

[sincerelyreidburke]

OC taddy masterpost!!!!!

Are you, as I am, struggling to cope with the end? Do you feel like shedding a tear? Are you going to miss omgcp so much?…………..

Yeah, me too.

BUT.

*Danny Devito voice* Can I offer you some tadpoles in this trying time?

From the studio that brought you love finds you and its expanded universe (aka myself and @hockeysometimes shouting at each other via text)………………. it’s time for the OC Class of 2021 tadpoles I promised I’d tell you about the other day!!!!

(By popular demand.)

FIRST UP!

Sebastián “Nando” Hernandez

Position: Defense

Jersey number: 43

Hometown: Tempe, Arizona

So the other day, I wrote this drabble from Nando’s point of view, because I just wanted an excuse to write some soft nurseydex shit involving one of the taddies. Nando is my sweet child and I would die for him. All of this started because hockeysometimes and I were talking about the frogs’ senior year and I was like, you know, there should be a baby gay freshman when Nursey and Dex are seniors, and then they love and cherish him like their child.

Thus: Nando. A good boy, and a soft one, even though he’s like 6′3 and a tank. He lives with his mama and his two little sisters, and they’re his whole entire world. He and Whiskey also definitely know each other, because I feel like it’s hard not to when you’re close in age and both play hockey in such a non-hockey-fixated area. (I know we don’t technically have confirmation that Whiskey lives in the Phoenix metro area, but stay with me.)

Nando is soft in that he wears his emotions on his sleeve, because he grew up in a family environment that fostered healthy emotional processing. (What a concept!) But he’s also very much a frat bro. He will get turned the fuck up at kegsters because he feels like having a good time. I would say Nando Patrol, but Nando doesn’t even really disappear; he’ll throw down his awful dance moves and questionable singing right in plain sight. Where Nursey will climb on the roof, Nando will just shout into a megaphone.

Nando is also gay, and at first he has a little trouble reconciling that with the fact that he’s about to play college hockey. Even though he’s been following Samwell in the news, and has been so inspired by Bitty and the legacy of LGBT athleticism at the school (that’s definitely one of the main reasons he chose Samwell in the first place), he has that fear because it’s been with him in hockey all his life. It quickly dissolves once he arrives to campus and realizes what a welcoming environment he’s gotten himself into. He and Tango get on like wildfire.

He studies sociology, gets quickly addicted to Annie’s, and calls his mama every day. Nursey wants to adopt him.

NEXT!

Remy “Touille” Tremblay

Position: Center

Jersey number: 20

Hometown: Quebec City, Quebec

First, of all, YES. That nickname comes from exactly the place you think it does. Pronounced “too-ie”. It happens like this:

(First night of preseason, in the bungalow. Mid-Frog pile.)

Nursey: I can’t believe we have a freshman named Remy.

Chowder: Like from Ratatouille!

Nursey: ............ We should call him Ratatouille.

Dex: No.

Chowder: YEAH!

Dex: Absolutely not.

Chowder: But Deeeeeexxxx, Ratatouille is a swawesome nickname!

Dex: No, it’s not. If I showed up at college and my teammates immediately started calling me Ratatouille, I would transfer immediately.

Nursey: Chyeah, because you’re lame.

Dex: We are not calling him Ratatouille.

Nursey: Boooo. You suck.

Chowder: C’mon, Dex! It’ll be fun!

Dex: No.

Nursey: We should put it up to a vote.

Dex: You can’t do that.

Nursey: Who says?

Dex: The bylaws.

Nursey: There’s no bylaw that says that.

Dex: Well, I’m making one. I’m invoking my captain’s privileges.

Nursey: Well, I’m rescinding my vote for your captaincy.

Chowder: Impeach Dex 2k17.

Dex: I hate both of you.

Chowder: :O

Chowder: :(((

Dex: Sorry, Chowder. I meant mostly Derek.

Chowder: :D

Nursey: 😘

Dex: >:(

Nursey:

Chowder:

Dex:

Chowder: What about Touille for short?

Nursey: (Huge celly.) YES! C, you’re a genius.

Chowder: I’m texting the group chat.

Dex: Jesus Christ, this poor freshman.

So there we have it. This poor child. I don’t accept constructive criticism and neither do Nursey and Chowder.

Touille is French-Canadian as fuck. That is the first thing you need to know. He definitely lives in a super old, nice townhouse in Old Quebec. His dad owns a tourist-trap crêperie where Touille works in the summers, and his mom is a nurse at the local hospital. He’s an only child, but his mémé, his maternal grandmother, lives with them, and Touille spends a good deal of time with her. She’s definitely like ninety years old, and speaks no English.

He scores a lot, and he’s smallish— not Bitty small, but his playing is definitely more about skill than physicality. He doesn’t brood, but he judges you in French. He’s never exactly a grouch, but he isn’t a morning person, so if you try to talk to him at morning practice it’s unlikely that you’re getting through to him.

And while he’s not exactly shy, but he’s more on the introverted side as far as frat bros go. He definitely did a year or so of juniors before college. He came to America school to play ice sport and also to have a good time. He definitely wheels a lot of girls, because they fall for his accent and also want to steal his varsity jacket.

(He never lets them.)

He majors in history, and could definitely go on to play professionally, like all good prodigal French-Canadian children. I’m realizing as I’m writing this that I’m sort of making him sound like a discount Jack, but please understand that a.) he doesn’t come from a hockey empire, b.) he doesn’t come from money at all, and c.) he doesn’t stuggle with any kind of mental illness. He just wants to hang out with his mémé, score goals, and learn about the French Revolution.

And last up!

Ben “Rhodey” Shaley

Position: Goal

Jersey number: 6

Hometown: Providence, Rhode Island

Ben’s nickname is Rhodey because he literally makes being from Rhode Island into a personality trait. You laugh, but this is a real thing. Hockeysometimes said he’s like Chowder with the Sharks, but with the Falcs, so I feel like that’s all you really need to know about Rhodey. (I jest. I’ll say more.) At some point during his SMH career, he definitely gets to meet a handful of the Falcs, and possibly passes out.

As a goalie, Rhodey is precious by default, but he’s also... a frat bro, and that’s dangerous. He and Nando are roommates their freshman year, and probably also in the years following, and the two of them at kegsters can get unhinged. Rhodey can and will dance with enough drinks in his system, and it’s bad. The playing of the Cha Cha Slide is permanently banned at Haus kegsters because of a particularly heinous incident in November of Rhodey and Nando’s freshman year.

Rhodey has always wanted to go to Samwell, because he grew up playing youth hockey in the area and therefore going to clinics there, and also because he has an uncle who’s a hockey alumnus. He comes from a big family— not Poindexter big, mind you, but he probably has about four siblings, including a younger brother who also plays hockey and a sister who comes to Samwell to play on the women’s team.

He and Nando are roommates and also best friends. He’s significantly more unhinged than Chowder but just as goalie-ish. He will fight, especially if someone is like, hey, man, Rhode Island is small and also sucks!!!!! Chowder feels the need to protect him. Also, he definitely gets Chowder’s dibs.

(Wait, that would be so soft, please picture Ford getting the dibs to the bungalow because Dex knows she covets that space, and then Rhodey gets Chowder’s and Nando gets Nursey’s and they’re hallmates and why am I crying in the club right now?)

As a freshman, Rhodey enters undeclared, but he ends up declaring a major in architecture. He’s probably going to live in Providence all his life, and he’s damn proud of it, thank you very much.

[belorage]

Wes for the full clear on the OC asks? 😘😘😘

— OC QUESTIONS

BASICS

What’s their full name? Wesley Daniel Brooks

What does their name mean? Why were they named that? Wesley means “western meadow,” Daniel means “God is my judge,” and Brooks means “stream.” You can find my real world reasoning for choosing his name here. As for the canon reasoning, Wesley is a family name on his father’s side and Daniel is a good Christian name. 

Do they have any nicknames? Lots. Wes is the big one (Hwes if you’re Hurk Jr.), Rook, Dep (Deputy if you're as extra as John Seed), Bright Eyes (Raf only), Sundance (Nick only), Darling (Lyra, when she’s being cheeky), and probably a handful more that I’m forgetting.

How old are they? 28, almost 29 as of the start of FC5.

When’s their birthday? November 11, 1989

What’s their zodiac sign/element/birthstone/etc.? Do they believe that holds any significance? Scorpio sun, Aries moon, Aquarius rising. Year of the snake. Birthstones are topaz and citrine. He isn’t aware enough of any of this to believe in it.

What’s their species/subspecies? Do they have any special/magical abilities? He is a natural disaster in human form. His special ability is that he somehow manages to survive that for as long as he does.

What “class” do they belong to (for fantasy characters)? If none, what weapon do they favor? A revolver (Steel & Ivory), a sawed-off shotgun (Sin Eater), or basic hand-to-hand. Close combat is preferable to range. He also uses homemade C4 in his tireless crusade against cult infrastructure.

APPEARANCE

What do they look like? He’s 6′3″, has brown-ish hair (specifically, a warm golden bronze color) and hazel eyes with long eyelashes. Fit, moderate-to-lean build. Sharp features, angular jaw, a pronounced Cupid’s bow. He has the facial hair of a man who has forgotten to shave for two weeks, because he is—you guessed it—a man who has forgotten to shave for two weeks.

Do they have a face claim? Tomas Skoloudik

What’s their style like? Clothes, hair, makeup? Casual clothing—flannels (often tied around the waist), t-shirts, henleys, jeans, boots, jewelry (gold, leather), leather jacket, cargo jacket. His hair is messy and soft, just like he is, because he doesn’t overload it with hair products unlike some people. He’s got an ouroboros tattooed around the lower part of his right forearm and (universe-dependent) John and Lyra’s names on the inside of his wrists.

How do they carry themselves? What’s their default expression? He attempts to project swagger and indifference, but to anyone who knows him and is paying attention, he’s an open book. In a comfortable environment, he’s loose and casual. His default expression is fixated if he has something to occupy his mind and distant if he doesn’t.

Do they have any physical ailments or disabilities? No, but he’s got bruises and flesh wounds aplenty! He’s got bite marks and scratches galore! You want knife-slashing scars? He’s got twenty. But who cares? No big deal. Wes wants mooooore! 🎵

PERSONALITY

What’s their alignment? Chaotic Good/Chaotic Neutral

Which one of the 16 Personality Types do they fit into? ISFP

What are their hobbies and interests? Do they have any particular “favorites” (food, books, and so on)? I answered for his favorite films and TV here, and his favorite book is Watership Down. He likes the Beatles and bar snacks and black coffee. His favorite cultists are Lyra, John, and Shaggy—please don’t judge him.

What are they bad at? Dancing!

What kind of things do they dislike/hate? Hates being controlled, dislikes very sweet things.

Do they have any vices/addictions/mental illnesses? Impulsiveness, reactive behaviors. He smokes and drinks, although neither of those are done with a shocking amount of excess. Previously, harder drugs. 

What are their goals and motivations? Freedom and acceptance.

What are their manners like? Any habits? He’s not a jerk; he has passable manners when the situation calls for them, but Emily Post would like him not. His habits are covered in much more detail here, but the big one is that he tends to busy his hands and/or mouth with things wherever possible.

What are they most afraid of? Rejection, abandonment, enclosed spaces, death (specifically, the possibility of an afterlife). 

BACKGROUND

Where were they born? What was their childhood like? Born in Hope County. He was an only child and his home life was suspect, but made moderately more bearable by his best friend. Once he realized trying to please his father was a losing battle, he said hell yeah to a downward spiral of rebelliousness and troublemaking.

What’s their family like? His dad was a jerk of the sort that would never be satisfied. Big on toxic masculinity, short on acceptance. His mother loved him, but she fell in line more often than not.

What factions or organizations are they a part of? What ranks and titles do they hold? Hope County Sheriff’s Office (probationary sheriff’s deputy), Hope County Resistance (figurehead, pot stirrer, problem magnet). 

How do they fit into their “story”? Barely. Next question. I hate to use this word yet again, but it’s the only one that fits: his story is mostly about acceptance—self, fate, fault, sorrow, joy—because as much as he desired acceptance from others, he denied a lot of it for himself.

Where do they currently live? What’s their place like? He grew up in the Silver Lake trailer park, way up on the northeastern end of Holland Valley, near the Whitetails. For the duration of the game timeline, I picture him spending more time crashing where he can—with the Ryes, in the woods, wherever—but his own place would be sparse and fairly untidy, with clothes tossed everywhere. 

How do they eventually die? Wesley intends to live forever. How dare you insinuate—

RELATIONSHIPS

Do they have any friends? Would they consider anyone to be their best friend? Within the timeline of the game, he has quite a few. Raf is his best friend (and has been since they were kids), but Nick (and Kim) are both up there. He has a soft spot for Mary May; that seems to be reciprocal. He appreciates Grace because she doesn’t ask unnecessary questions. Sharky and Hurk offer unconditional friendship, which he appreciates and sorely needs. Adelaide is the vodka aunt who thirsts after his ex. She tries to rile him up sometimes (in a myriad of ways), but he likes her. And if you account for other universes, his friend count goes way up thanks to the various and sundry brat squad kids.

What’s their friend group like? What role do they play in it? When he was younger, he was the introvert-adopted-by-an-extrovert. He was a bit too withdrawn to have friends outside of that, though he wasn’t unfriendly. For a bulk of the current timeline, his friend group is “ragtag misfits” status and he basically gets ping-ponged between them as they try—with varying amounts of success—to fight a cult.  

What’s their love life like? (See also: ship question meme.) Do they have any kids? Depends on the universe. In canon, it’s messy but becomes significantly healthier later on. His previous relationship was promising and likely would have been ideal, except that they were young and unable (or unready) to deal with the realities of their situation. In AU, he is enemies-with-benefits but also grossly in love with the Judge of Eden’s Gate and her husband (who was a fun surprise, but it’s fine, because Wes got Lyra back by giving her a gracious two-for-one deal on children)!

Who do they look up to? Who do they trust? Whitehorse is something of a father figure, though Wes would never say that out loud. For the record, neither would Whitehorse (at least not directly to Wes)—mostly for Wes’s benefit. He trusts Raf, Pastor Jerome, and the rest of his friends listed above.

Who do they hate? Do they have any enemies? Joseph, because Joseph is daddy issues incarnate. Jacob, because Jacob understands Wes well enough to yank him around like a dog on a leash. By the time the Collapse hits, everyone is his enemy to some extent (as evidenced by the adorable horns and pointy tails drawn all over his wanted posters). Notable exceptions are John, Sharky, Hurk, and Whitehorse; however, all but the first are functionally unknown to him.

Do they have any pets? Just Boomer, who is the best emotional support animal a disaster could ask for.

Are they good with kids? Animals? He’s naturally good with both children and animals, but he lacks practical experience, especially with the former (shout-out to the Ryes for finally adding that to his resume).

FUN FACTS

Which tropes do they fit? Which archetypes? Tropewise, he’s Troubled, but Cute and I can’t refute it; apart from the high school thing, it’s a full BINGO clear. He’s also Bruiser with a Soft Center, Inferiority Superiority Complex, Cosmic Plaything, Desperately Craves Affection, Hero with Bad Publicity, I Am Not My Father, and almost certainly a whole host of shameful others that I don’t dare brave the rest of TVTropes to find. Of the twelve classic archetypes, he’s some combination of The Hero and The Outlaw. Otherwise: fallen angel, antihero, byronic hero, prodigal son. 

Do they play any instruments? Sports? He can play guitar, but only at an intermediate level. He’s not big on sports, but he can ice skate and he likes to swim.

What are some items they always carry? Steel & Ivory and a lighter; later, Sin Eater. In New Dawn he carries John’s watch.

Do they collect anything? Bad decisions. Minicultists, apparently. Nothing in particular.

What position do they sleep in? His default position when he’s alone and in a comfortable place is on his belly. There are exceptions listed in greater detail here.

Which emoji would they use the most? Honestly, he’s not really the type to use emojis, but he will send his love interest pictures of things he likes or finds pretty with no context. Otherwise, his texts tend to be short, to-the-point, and lacking in punctuation or capitalization. Believe it or not, he’d much rather communicate in person. My most frequently used emojis for him are 🍰 and 🐍. (Awww, cake and snake... They rhyme. How precious!)

What languages do they speak? English. He knows a limited amount of Spanish, but he’s better at understanding it than he is at speaking it.

What’s their favorite expletive? Damn or fuck.

What’s their favorite candle scent? Pine.

What songs remind you of them? I have a playlist for him here, but it—much like him—is a bit of a mess. I also have a playlist based on his own taste in music here.

Which animal would you say represents them? Snakes, stags, swans, scorpions.

What stereotypical high school clique would they fit into? Loners or troublemakers, probably. Stoners on a technicality—he doesn’t fit the stereotype, but he does have a history. He has some of the soul of an art kid but, tragically, none of the talent.

What would their favorite ride at an amusement park be? At a real amusement park, probably the roller coasters. At something more lowkey like a carnival, he’d like the classic, aesthetically pleasing rides like the Ferris wheel or the carousel.

Do they believe in aliens? Ghosts? Reincarnation or something else? He’s not an “I Want to Believe” sort of guy, but he still can’t explain the Larry Parker debacle. He tries very hard not to believe (or at least not to think about) any sort of afterlife, because he fears it.

Do they follow any religions/gods? Do they celebrate holidays? His family was Catholic, but he endeavors not to be. He likely wouldn’t celebrate holidays as a bachelor overmuch, but he would take part in holiday activities with others.

Which Deadly Sin do they most correspond to? Which Heavenly Virtue? Pride and Fortitude.

If you had to choose one tarot card to represent them, which would it be? The Tower, The Devil, The Wheel of Fortune.

[shinygoku]

Thunderbirds (2004)

A review by me, CutCat! This is 8-ish pages long!

Spoiler for the end of the film warning: Alan is in International Rescue. What a twist!

Totally Turbulent

Soooo, Tbirds ‘04 is one of those Infamous Adaptations, at least among those who enjoyed Thunderbirds (’65) and of more recent times, Thunderbirds are Go (’15). It’s one of those Bad Live Action Adaptations to a near sacred property, making it dubious contemporaries with Dragon Ball [Evolution], Avatar [The Last Airbender] and suchlike.

But wait, is it really That Bad?? Why is it as divisive as it is? What caused the film to be the way it is, and quite unpopular at that?

First I’m gonna make a long story very short by saying that a Live Action Thunderbirds movie was on and off production for many years, and that the script we ended up with is apparently better than another one that was pitched... but there are reports of cooler scripts further back that never made it, for various reasons. It’s almost a story of it’s own right but I’m only going by 2nd hand information at best, so I’d rather just link them at the end for Additional Reading if y’all felt so inclined.

With that out of the way, we have the Takes from the Andersons to look at. Sylvia had a very favourable reception to it:

"I felt that I'd been on a wonderful Thunderbirds adventure. You, the fans, will I'm sure, appreciate the sensitive adaptation and I'm personally thrilled that the production team have paid us the great compliment of bringing to life our original concept for the big screen. If we had made it ourselves (and we have had over 30 years to do it!) we could not have improved on this new version. It is a great tribute to the original creative team who inspired the movie all those years ago. It was a personal thrill for me to see my characters come to life on the big screen."

Whereas Gerry had a considerably blunter response at the opposite end of the scale:

"the biggest load of crap I have ever seen in my entire life."

As for me, a mere fan of predominantly the TAG series with limited but fond memories of the 90’s TOS reruns, I’d been inclined to ignore it and write it off as a DBE or TLA lost cause. But the combined effect of me deciding to check out unpopular media for myself, namely Dragon Ball GT and the live action Super Mario Bros. movie, and thoroughly enjoying both; and the other effect of TAG finishing but my fixation reawakening with the need to consume More, I dived deeper into the fan base than I had dared to before, in which I found more reasons to watch it and make up my own mind fairly.

Find out what I thought, and a review of the movie itself, below the Cut! ✂

Stormy Story

Ok, enough teasing, I see good things in the movie but not enough for it to be a secret masterpiece, not by a long shot.

1/3 Stars from Me. That’s Poor. (Compare with 2/3 being Good, and 3/3 being Excellent)

My main beef is unfortunately kinda the crux of the whole story, so while there were aspects I really liked, it had permanently set the bar low, and other issues were not helping matters. I’ll go into the problems after I sum up the plot.

[sitcom harp music]

14 Year Old Alan Tracy is stuck in a stuffy school with only his nerd friend to confide in. Something’s eating him up, and it’s jealousy over how his family are International Rescue, the secret rescue workers whole pilot the Thunderbirds, impossibly cool craft with capabilities vastly exceeding standard technology. Even when he’s allowed out of school and back to the Island, his envy and barely repressed resentment over not being a member himself causes him to go off and sulk and to try taking Thunderbird 1, the hypersonic jet plane, for a joyride.

His father and the leader of International Rescue, Jeff Tracy chews Alan out for almost compromising the need for the organisation to remain secret, lest their advanced technology falling into the wrong hands. Alas, said wrong hands are already working against IR: The Hood, a diabolical, cold blooded criminal with psychic powers and a grudge against Jeff. After successfully tracking the location of Tracy Island, he launches a missile towards Thunderbird 5, the Space Station where IR monitor potential disasters to prevent as much damage as possible, manned by John Tracy.

With TB5 crippled and John injured, Jeff and his other three older sons all scramble to the disaster zone via Thunderbird 3, the Rocket Ship. But with Tracy Island largely unmanned, The Hood moves in and aims to use the Thunderbirds to rob bank vaults while simultaneously smearing International Rescue’s good name. As the only Tracy brother left on Earth, it’s up to Alan and his 2 friends, Fermat and Tin-Tin, to foil the Hood and save his family, proving himself worthy in the process. He is also assisted by IR’s London Agent, Lady Penelope, and her driver/butler/lockpicker, Parker.

...

Ok, so that’s a summary you may read on the back of a DVD box, maybe it’s a bit long but whatever. Do you see what’s wrong with the story? The massive rift in the formula that should be within a template set by the hugely popular TV Series?

Critical Crux

For me, the main issue with the movie is that the Tracy family are thrown under a bus, or perhaps it’s more like being locked in a closet, in order for Alan to rise up and be The Hero. A show that was about each of them having different roles and personalities to the others, and the movie sees the best way to adapt the premise is to reduce 3 of them to cardboard cutouts who aren’t allowed to do or say anything meaningful, with the exception to this getting the dubious honour of getting a missile and exploding space station to the face.

I can’t clearly express how much this pisses me off! It’s downright insulting and baffling as well. They had pre established characters right there for the taking but go NO! Let’s make OCs to fill this newly created void instead and make the main Message of the film Friendship Teamwork.

Why does every child-skewed media hafta have the Friendship message? It’s a good one, sure, but nothing said in this film about it was fresh or original. Y’know what I see far, far less? Not just in Kid Flavoured Media, but all sorts? The importance of Brotherly Bonds between actual brothers!! I don’t subscribe to the massively misunderstood message version of ‘Blood is thicker than water’, but a story with the siblings actually pushed and stressed and coming out stronger at the end would have ruled!!

[For what it’s worth, the actual saying is “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”, i.e. the bonds you choose to forge are more important than happening to be born to certain people. This correct message is still compatible with literal siblings though!]

The other, somewhat lesser Large Issue with the movie is simply that we don’t see much in the way of Rescues with the titular Thunderbirds. We only get the tail end of the Oil Rig in Act 1, and then the ‘Birds are used predominantly to get to London and save 1 Monorail Car with TB4.

Watsonian Woes & Doylist Dilemma

When looking at Media, there’s 2 main angles to consider; Doylist and Watsonian. Doylist is the “real life / meta” angle, the structure of the story or interests of the author being in the plot, that kinda thing. Watsonian is the reason given within the story.

All stories have Watsonian and Doylist reasonings, the trick is to blend them in and not use a weedy Watsonian reason for something stupid happening.

Why bring this up? Because it’s still part of the Huge Problem I have with the film; the Doylist reason for all of IR being incapacitated so easily is so Alan can shine without fighting for focus in a large group. I don’t like it, but let’s go along with it for now.

Believe it or not, but I can accept that a Movie format isn’t going to be the same as an ongoing series. There’s way less time and you gotta hit certain beats. Ideally you also condense the essence of the show into the film while being more than just a long episode. They didn’t hit this note in my opinion...

But other than ‘It has to happen for he story to work’, there’s no damn reason for all the Non-Alan Tracys to be cooped up in the crippled TB5! They put all their eggs into one basket when a considerably more sensible choice woulda been to have a small crew, and the others remain on base. Because even without factoring in a worst case scenario where another missile hits them while in space, killing them all, which totally could have happened for all they know, there’s also the part about them being International Rescue! They gotta be ready to respond to other disasters should those develop. TB1, 2 and 4 were still available for use!

If I was Jeff making the boneheaded decision, I would have taken a second to think about it and have 1 of the Bros come up in 3 with me. Seeing to John shouldn’t be something 4 people are needed for, it would just get more crowded and the oxygen would be used way faster! Considering they all come close to asphyxiating, 2 less people would mean things weren’t so damn close to the wire! (Granted, the movie also has them falling into Earth’s atmosphere and burning up as a hazard, but the whole crew being there doesn’t affect that.)

Jeff! You’re the patriarch and supposedly most experienced dude in the whole movie! Why didja run into that trap with both eyes open? Stressful situation, sure, but in the Rescue Business you need to be able to listen to the cold, clinical angle. You’re risking more of your sons’ lives making such a rash judgement!!

Character Conundrums

This is the part of the review where I begin to really emphasise the differences between TOS and this movie. I’ll hold off TAG for now in the interest of fairness.

The movie is a mixed bag when it comes to the individuals within it. Some have been refreshing updates to stuffy 60′s tropes, but several draw the short straw, feeling even stiffer than their marionette precursors.

Alan - Hoo, boy. The plot follows Alan.... for the third time if you’re factoring in the Supermarionation movies, which was quite the baffling choice as Puppet!Alan is quite the obnoxious jerk. But whatever, new movie, new canon, new Alan. While the Alan of the 60′s was a bizarrely whiny brat of a character considering he was supposed to at least be in his early 20′s this Alan at least makes more sense to be annoying. But yes, he starts off as a sullen jerk with unclearly defined jealousy towards his own brothers and seemingly a lack of grasping the stakes behind International Rescue, viewing being one of the crew as a Cool Job rather than a gruelling, life-risking ordeal. Over the course of the movie (mostly Act 3) he becomes less of a berk and a better team player, even going as far as to save the Hood personally.

Jeff - One of the stronger characters in the movie, even with this poor choice I’ve gone on about already, haha. You get the real impression the job means the world to him, but still secondary to his sons. An update and improvement to the sometimes stodgy and holier-than-thou character from the 60′s, plus his proactive role makes him way less of a backseat driver.

Lady Penelope - Best character and a splendid update to the 60′s Socialite. This Penny is always a delight to see, although her ability to change clothes offscreen sometimes pushes plausibility, haha. She and Jeff also have very natural and endearing chemistry, so for this iteration at least, I’m up for shipping them, something I can’t say for TOS.

Parker - Remarkably true to the beloved puppet version and another highlight. His interplay with Penelope is some of the best dialogue in the whole movie, and was written by Richard Curtis in an uncredited role, or so I’ve read.

The Hood - A shockingly sadistic and cold blooded so-and-so. His Psychic powers have been given a huge boost, and the depths of his spite generates all the tense scenes the movie has to offer. His performance may be the best in the whole film, simultaneously over the top while also completely deadly.

Tin-Tin - Y’know, Tin-Tin is a funny character, in how she’s very different in all versions. I enjoy her in TOS, but her potential as an engineering assistant, mathematician and member of IR are quickly discarded to make her a secretary, which is further demoted to bringing coffee. Ahh, The Sixties! One of her other defining features was the sometimes bickering sexual tension with Alan. Movie!Tin-Tin is still the implied love interest [and the same age] with him, but she’s also an Action Girl extraordinaire, with abilities bordering on metahuman. She can trek through the jungle without slowing down, she can dive underwater for prolonged sequences, and has a variation of her Evil Uncle’s Psychic capabilities, but used for good. Notably, the Kayo of TAG takes significantly more from this Tin-Tin to the original, sadly sans Telekinesis.

Fermat - The only OC I’m gonna dignify with a section here lol. He’s basically mini-Brains, complete with the way he t-ta-tal- -distinctive speech patterns. But yeah, as the hypersmart and nerdy pal, I feel that his role is pretty superfluous, though his performance in the movie got me to soften up, he’s a good kid. Just one who, like, is part of the deal breaking issue I have with the whole film. In a way I think he’d have made a better lead than Alan lmao

Brains - Not much to say here, he’s also a dude in distress for a majority of his screentime. Seems to be older than his TOS self and a bit less subservient to Jeff, but also a father ....or Fermat is his clone. They never make that clear. He’s hit on by the Hood’s Female Scientist and it’s played for comedy, more on that later.

John - In TOS, his role was infamously minimal, as Gerry Anderson took such a strong disliking to the John puppet and the TB5 model that he exiled both into space with a few token shots per episode. So in comparison, this movie is far kinder to John! He has a nice, genuine chat with Jeff, without any mission to initiate said videocall. The movie is also quite mean to John in how he gets bombed by the Hood, his space station in tatters, his arm hurt and then near suffocation with Jeff and most of his brothers. Ahh, the conundrum of being John.

Scott, Virgil and Gordon - No, they don’t even get their own paragraphs in my review. Their lack of presence and importance in the movie is my giant gripe (have you noticed yet?) and it got to the extent that I feel they could have been combined into one character to save casting money. They get maybe 5 lines each, if that. I literally can’t tell Scott and Virgil apart (I know they have name tags on their uniforms, but in most scenes I couldn’t even read that) other than knowing 1 of them is taller. Which that one is, is a mystery.

The only one with a slightly distinctive appearance and air is Gordon, which is another can of worms because he seems to be the designated Doubtful Jerk Brother and that drives me mad!! In TOS he wasn’t as main a character as Scott, Virgil or Alan, but he was still a defined person with his own abilities. And his personality was as a slightly mouthy but the most lighthearted character! Why didn’t they carry that over?!

And yeah, Scott and Virgil are pretty much the Main Two of the brothers in TOS, so their roles being reduced to 1 token act during the oil rig rescue each [Gordon didn’t even get that!] is all the more mind boggling.

Hood’s Minions - Can’t be assed to write their names out, I refer to them as Heavy Dude and Science Woman. Heavy Dude is the Heavy, and his character consists of Dumb and somewhat Sadistic Muscle. Science Woman is first objectified (we see her ass first. Yes, really.) but then it’s ‘revealed’ that as she has Austin Powers level teeth, she’s uuuuuglyyyyy and her otherwise genuine attraction towards Brains is played for laughs with this angle. And that’s still female on male sexual harassment, which doesn’t fly with me. Eeeesh. Bad writing! She does Science Things for Hood.

The Rest - Kyrano and his wife are in this. Wife is Original but basically Grandma’s role, though she doesn’t even get a single word to say. Rip. Also the Hood has a few more generic mooks from somewhere, but seemingly only for part of the movie. Kyrano didn’t do much in the show except get bullied by the Hood and little has changed.

Tone Trouble

I feel like the movie has a bit of an issue with balancing a consistent Tone. Again, let’s look back at TOS. It was a Family Show, designed to not just appeal to little kids, but to also keep their parent and other adult amused. Maybe some of it was also the result of the times, but striking to me is that they allowed the characters to get pretty hurt, complete with red paint being applied to look like realistic blood. Some of the criminals, including the Hood himself, would be very vicious, how he treats Brains in Desperate Intruder comes to mind. There was even firefights resulting in death, like the memorable climax of Operation Crash-Dive, where Gordon has to shoot a saboteur in the back, into the open sea below the compromised plane. He then proceeds to hold the cut wires together with his bare hands. Don’t try this at home, kids!

So while I can understand some of that being removed from the Movie (and TAG), there’s still the irritating going down to a perceived kid’s level for the majority of the film, which is probably also a large reason for the massive structural change. But then, there’s shockingly dark implications here and there, and the haunting sight of the crew trapped on TB5 floating lifelessly in the dark, asphyxiating. But then, again, we have goofy choreographed fight scenes with juvenile stock cartoon sounds. And then, we have Hood force choking Alan?! It has been mostly consistent until Act 3, then the tone goes up and down more than the flying machines.

Revamped Rockets

I’m mostly talking about the main craft here, though I know the Pod vehicles got modified too, I’m not sufficiently a TOS Pod Buff to go over them.

TB1 - Looks real nice! Maintains and even enhances the sleekness, and the idea of a glass cockpit is much better than having 1 tiny window and a dinky TV screen to see by. Oddly dark inside the cockpit considering how much glass there is, though. Probably my fav of the Movie Fleet.

TB2 - Oof. Looks bad, man. Like, really ugly. What have they done to the glorious design that was the Original Big Green? The unofficial mascot from her importance and unorthodox style? They turned her into a stubby, too glossy, chunky bar of green soap. The thick ass legs are a good idea but it sure ain’t enough. Also, she carries 3 smaller pods insteada 1 big one.

TB3 - Like TB1, pretty much the same design but streamlined a little. Docks with 5 sidewise instead of like pen going into its lid.

TB4 - I’m mixed. I like the idea of giving her a glass canopy and extendable arms, but the movie’s version is so boxy she looks more like a small yellow Greenhouse with the rear half of the old Four, haha. The arms also look a little stiff, can they bend? Now, if there was a sleek, glass hulled, variable armed, demolition charges-loaded Four, that would be my favourite possible version ;3 Four is my fav craft in TOS and TAG, for what it’s worth.

TB5 - I say it’s quite a visual improvement over TOS and the odds and ends jumbled look that had, though I do appreciate a bit of Chunkiness. This one really needs to have better defence too, TOS 5 may’ve been able to tank that missile lmao

FAB1 - I know that she would have been a Rolls Royce in the film, but BMW said no, so that’s not a point against the movie. And failing the classic image, it’s cute that it’s a Ford Thunderbird, though I’d have preferred one with those 50′s/60′s stylish fins personally lol. Her ability to fly is new here unless you count the Dream Sequence in Are Go (’66) and the water mode was also seen in that before this, and she gets the job done, though we don’t get to see as many gadgets and gizmos in the course of the film.

Unlikely Uniforms

I really don’t understand these. Why are they off white with minimal accent colours? What was wrong with the blueness of their suits and the broad stripe of a secondary colour? I sure ain’t saying the 60’s costumes were practical or even that fashionable, but they were very distinctive and striking!

Not only that, but for some strange unexplained reason, their uniforms all correspond not to their own speciality, but to which craft they’re currently piloting. Even if they’re all in the same Bird...! So like, four out of five are wearing identical looking red accented suits while locked in TB5. I already find the elder brothers to be the Similar Squad, and their microscopic name tags don’t help!

Why don’t they wear their own coloured uniforms all the time? Then ya don’t need the name tag at all! And the silly implication from the way there’s apparently a whole set of Craft Specific uniforms is that there’s piles of clothes that ain’t getting used in all of them, like the tiny TB4 probably having 6 whole sets on board at the end of the film.

Between that, no blue and the outfits looking like Generic Sports Wear, the only nice thing to say is the THUNDERBIRDS down the sleeve is a cool touch. Which should really say International Rescue or IR...

Mingled Misc.

Yeah, The conflation of Thunderbirds and International Rescue is a tad irritating but it’s actually something I can overlook. It’s not a dealbreaker and it makes sense the Dumbass Public would misunderstand and call them the wrong thing.

Jeff refuses Alan early access into IR and cites “No shortcuts”. Then at the end he echoes this when he is making Alan an official member, saying he did it with no shortcuts. The whole faffing scenario was a giant shortcut!!! Fuck training and being a suitable age, am I right?!

Amazingly I didn’t cover this already, but when Alan shortcuts his way onto the team he’s made pilot of ... TB4. That’s why he’s in yellow accents in the pic. Gordon is seemingly the main pilot of TB3 instead, but the movie doesn’t deign to make that clear. While I appreciate that the 14 year old with no Astronaut training isn’t put in charge of 3 instantly, I resent the careless removal of characterisation. Obviously movie Gordon never served with WASP or won the gold medal in swimming or had a massive hydrofoil crash to nearly kill him but ggggghgggaaahhhhhhhhh

Also what’s with the implication that Four is the Babby’s First Machine? She’s a highly specialised craft that would require different training to flying or Space shit! How dare you?! The most charitable link is that Alan stood around in 4 as Tin-Tin did most of the work herself, but I guess it coulda as some level of experience.

Ford Sponsorship - Gets a bit much! It’s one thing for all the cars to be Ford, but them seemingly owning the News is like an unpleasant look into a world where corporations run everything.... hahahaahaaaaaa........

Marvellous Music

Something the movie really excells at is the tunes! The remix of the Thunderbirds March is good in it’s own right and very welcome, and the new music is all solid. Special mention to Busted’s outro song for slapping so hard even people who hate the movie leave warm youtube comments about the song. I have a habit of listening to it set to TAG footage myself, haha

Sincere Summation

Look, I’ve come off negative in this, but I honestly have a lot of respect for a lot of the parts of this picture. Hood, Penelope, Parker and Jeff are fantastic, the physical models and sets have a lot of care and loving detail poured in, the music is all bangers and other little nods and homages to the show shine brightly. The director got a lot of good work in and I hold him no ill will.

I think the problem is in the Writing and probably Studio Mandates, I’m not 100% sure, but things often get snaggy when the studio you’re working under gets bought out by a bigger company partway through. Again, I’ll refer to the info I’ve seen instead of trying to relay it in my own words.

And they made a real bad call snubbing Gerry as a Creative Consultant. Some of his venom towards the film may be from that, as well as his alleged preference to Team America: World Police as a theatrical homage. And I’ve seen that before and wouldn’t really say that’s true to the spirit of Thunderbirds, but yeah...

I’d be interested in any future Thunderbirds Movies, if that’s ever on the cards again. I’d probably be even more up for continuation of the TAG series, or newer new Captain Scarlet with International Rescue involved. Either way, I want new footage of the Birds taking off again, be it puppet, people, CGI, or something new~

Extra Reading

https://securityhazard.net/2017/05/19/thunderbirds-2004/ Full movie review, warm reception. Contains photos of set pieces and costumes.

http://groovyfokker.blogspot.com/2013/02/thunderbirds-arent-go-unfilmed-versions.html Insight into some of the past issues developing a Movie, but gets some basic information wrong (Since when is Gordon the youngest and TB3 orange??)

Thanks if ya’ve been reading the whole thing! <3

[itsthejuggernautbitch]

You Look Like Trouble (Morning Glory Wine - Cable/OC

Here’s chapter eight!

Issa lot of booty.

(And as always, not to be that person but if you’ve got the time and the inclination, kudos or a comment would be greatly appreciated.)

Taglist: @this-that-and-every-thing-else  @ptite-shit  @lesbianyondu @chromecutie  @gallifreyangrandtorino  @ra-ra-rasputiin  @akihecko @bigstarlightkingdom  @buckyjefferson  @lenavonschweetz

Four a.m. was an early night for both Vivian and Cable. Vivian rarely got in from Sister Margaret's before 2AM and sometimes ended up closing the bar with Weasel at 6AM, depending on the clientele that night. Vivian was exhausted after an already-long night of stitching up criminals and snuggling with a mercenary she’d almost kicked out of her backroom office before said snuggling occurred, but she didn’t feel like sleeping. She’d slept on the ride home, but with Cable now standing in her kitchen, she was more than wide awake.

Vivian figured that she had to be crazy to have invited him in. She had to have lost it, she decided. Both she and Cable had dark circles under their eyes and the night wasn’t even finished. She’d never invited a guy in after a fight, not even Jack when they'd still been married. And certainly not in the last five years (to be fair, she hadn’t been near anyone in the last five years, but that was beside the point). It was just him. Cable and his stubborn gruffness, his deep voice, those muscles - and the compassion that he did his best to keep hidden.

Everything about him was strange and out of place in her cozy little apartment. The mechanical arm and eye, the obviously anachronistic weapons hanging off his hip, even the obligatory tight-shirt-and-cargo-pants mercenary uniform. His rugged appearance was resolutely different from her sensible little kitchen, but as soon as he dropped the weapons and sat down at her kitchen table, it became strange to think that he’d never been there before.

Well, she certainly wasn’t going to kick him out, that’s for sure. Yeah, they still had shit to work through - a lot of it. But this was cozy, comforting. As if they’d known each other for years. As if this was no different than every other Saturday night. And it scared the hell out of both of them.

“Coffee?” Vivian asked, fishing out a new coffee filter for the machine and two mugs. “I’ve got decaf too if you don’t want a case of the jitters..”

“Full strength will do just fine, please and thank you,” Cable replied, elbows on the table. He watched her fuss with the coffeemaker, almost smiling behind his hands. He’d seen her fuss over people before, himself and Wade in particular, and her fussing over the coffeemaker wasn’t so different from that. “Not a fan of decaf.”

“My kind of man,” Vivian replied, pausing when she realized what she said. “Well, if you couldn’t already tell.”

“This would be an awkward predicament if I wasn’t.”

“I certainly wouldn’t be making you coffee at four a.m. if you weren’t.”

Vivian poured two mugs of coffee, handed him one, and sat down at the table. She knew she looked a mess - the dark circles (and darkening further) that never seemed to go away; long, dark hair pulled up in a high bun; old jeans and a t-shirt. Not that it mattered much at four a.m. what state of disarray she might be in, especially when Cable looked at her like that anyway. She felt prickly, anxious, like she was being poked with needles. It was probably because the extent of her physical contact with anyone in the past five-ish years had been Wade’s hugs. It couldn’t be that Cable looked fucking delicious even after a long-ass day of no-telling what he did during the day.

She took a sip of coffee and found the taste of that particular sip to be the best thing she’d ever put in her mouth. It was a welcome rush of heat after a long, long day. And she would probably enjoy it even more, but the problem was she couldn’t quite sit still.

“Are you hungry?” Vivian asked, leaving her coffee on the table and jumping up to open the fridge. She pulled out everything that looked kind of good - mostly just a loaf of bread and some peanut butter for sandwiches. She liked to cook, but she didn’t have time. And why she was pulling out food, she couldn’t say, but it seemed like the appropriate thing to do.

Cable smiled around the rim of his mug, taking a sip of his coffee. “Viv.”

“What?” she asked, halfway through pulling plates out of her cabinet.

“You nervous?” he asked gently, still smiling. She’d never seen him smile this much, not since she’d met him. It was a good look on him, soft against the otherwise rugged aesthetic.

“No, no, I just…” she realized that she was, in fact, fidgeting like a madwoman. “I’m the one who invited you in. I’m too fucking old to be nervous about…”

Cable lifted an eyebrow, sitting his mug down. “No, you’re not too old to be nervous. I’m nervous too, if it makes you feel better.”

"You don't show it."

"I've had a lot of practice hiding it.”

Well, if macho man can be nervous and admit to it, she supposed she could give him the same courtesy. Vivian pulled the plates down and closed the cabinet with a sigh. “I guess I am, too. It just feels… It’s strange to go from feeling like a sad teenager after a bad fight to… maybe having something after nothing at all for so long.”

“No stranger than falling for someone after losing your entire family.”

Vivian sighed. “Look, if I pushed this too far too soon -”

Cable stood up, making his way over to her. He tugged the plates out of her hand gently and put them down on the table. “Listen to me, Vivian. I want to be here. I wouldn’t have come in if I didn’t.”

“Especially not at 4AM.”

“Especially not at 4AM."

With that, Vivian reached up, took his face in her hands, and kissed him. This kiss wasn't like the first one they’d shared weeks ago - that one had been all closeness and heat and intimacy. This kiss was ravenous, hungry and a little desperate. Cable kissed back with just enough force to drive her back against the kitchen counter, bracing his palms against the marble countertop on either side of her.

The world was, at that moment, reduced to its barest form: Cable's mouth on hers, hard body pressing her back against the kitchen counter, and his insufferable inability to figure out what to do with his hands. Words were a silly idea, a logical fallacy of the highest order. And if her brain hadn't gone a little fuzzy, she'd be annoyed that she was still in the kitchen (trying to avoid getting smushed against the food sitting out) and not being fucked stupid into her own cozy mattress. No, in that moment she was really only annoyed that Cable still had clothes on.

After a few gasping breaths, Cable pulled back away from her. "I'm fine with doing this in the kitchen, but…"

"I think we're gonna need a bed if you let me do what I've got in mind," Vivian interjected, hands still cupping his face. His eyes were dark, and she could just barely see the glimmer of red behind his left eye.

He licked his lips, tongue gently poking out past his teeth. "I'm all yours, darlin’. Whatever you've got in mind."

Vivian wrapped his arms around his neck. "First room on the left down the hall."

Cable slid his arms underneath her ass and picked her up. "Yes, ma'am."

Cable must have had a little super-strength mixed in with his list of abilities because he didn’t stumble even once under their combined weight. He didn’t quite make it to the bedroom before Cable pressed her up against the wall, lips and teeth sucking at the hollow of her throat.

Vivian couldn’t seem to keep her hands off of his face. She pressed her palms to his cheeks so that she could draw him in for another kiss, unwilling to let him go long enough to let him take her the final three steps past the bedroom door.

“Wait just a second,” Cable gasped, pulling away just long enough hoist her up higher. "Let me adjust..."

“What’re you telling me to wait for?” Vivian asked, hooking a finger under his chin. “You’re the one who stopped at the door.”

Cable grinned, adjusted his grip on Vivian’s waist, and shoved open the bedroom door.

Vivian’s room was smartly furnished, if a little minimalist. There was a dresser shoved into one corner and a desk in the other. Not that it mattered - the only important bit of furniture in the room at that moment was the bed pushed against the back wall.

Cable collapsed on the bed, bringing Vivian down with him in a tangle of limbs, teeth, and tongue. She straddled his lap and pressed her hands against his chest, pulling away from him (if not a little unwillingly).

“Seriously, though,” she started. “It’s been, like, a long time since I’ve… and it wasn’t good last time and-”

“That’s alright,” Cable replied, brushing her hair back out of her face. “I think we both need to take it easy. We’ve got all night. Well, all morning.”

She'd never seen that look on a man's face before - a look of such understanding and tenderness that her breath caught in her throat. For all his gruff exterior, the manly macho attitude, he could empathize with her. This was different for both of them - him, after he'd essentially lost his family to the literal test of time and her, letting someone in for the first time in years.

"Thank you." Vivian hugged him. “For understanding."

"Nothin' to thank me for," Cable said. "This is new for me, too."

"We'll just take it slow."

He raised an eyebrow. He tended to like it slow anyway. "And that's not necessarily a bad thing."

Vivian shifted in his lap. She could feel his cock against her thigh through his clothes, half-hard and hot. "Not a bad thing at all."

Cable slid his hands up under her shirt and tugged it over her head before pulling his own shirt off. He picked her up against and twisted them around so that she was on her back, head almost knocking against the headboard, and he was wedged securely between her thighs.

Vivian watched him pull his shirt off. She wasn't fixated on the metal arm - she'd seen it more than a few times and had the techno-virus issue explained to her. She was a little fascinated by how far the virus extended over his body, but that could be chalked up to scientific fascination. No, what she was fixated on appealed to the very basic instinct of the little reptilian part of her brain that only thinks in terms of sex pleasure satisfaction want want want. He was fucking ripped.

Vivian wasted no time in running her hands along the corded muscle criss-crossing his body. "Are you kidding me? I haven't been to the gym in six months and you've got a fucking eight-pack. Are you even real?"

"Oh, I'm very real," Cable laughed and reached under her back to snap the clasp on her bra. "And I know the bra trick, too."

"You're not real. I'm dreaming." Vivian wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him close for another kiss. Yep, that was all of him pressed against her thigh now. "Well, I guess you are real."

"You're awfully chatty when you're worked up," Cable teased. "I don't think I've ever seen you this talkative."

"I talk a lot when I'm nervous."

“If you need me to stop, you say the word."

"Oh, no, I'm doing great right now." Vivian paused, shivering as Cable pressed his mouth just below her ear. "I talk a lot when I'm horny, too. So you really never know where it's coming from."

"Well, let's see if I can calm you down."

Cable crawled down her body, pressing kisses to her neck and down her chest, sucking bruises into her skin. His mouth slipped across one nipple and then the other, fingers pinching and pulling at the one not currently occupied by his mouth. Vivian raked her hands through his hair, holding his head in place as he grazed her nipple with his teeth.

She grabbed at his shoulders as he mouthed down her belly, all the way to her navel. He dipped his tongue just under the waistband of her pants before licking a stripe back up her body and biting her nipples again.

“You’re gonna kill me-”

Cable kissed her neck, her cheek, the corner of her mouth. “Relax for me. I’ve got you.”

“Easier said than done, but I’ll do it for you.”

Cable trailed his lips back down her body, and this time, he didn’t stop at her waistband. He peeled her jeans off of her and threw them in a heap on the floor at the foot of the bed. He hooked her legs over his shoulders, spreading her thighs wide for him and bracing her hip with his nonhuman hand. It was cold against her skin at first but warmed up quickly.

He started down near her knees, trailing his lips up her inner thigh, sucking and biting as he went. He left marks up all the way up her thighs, then switched to the other just as his lips hovered over her cunt. She huffed when he started on her other thigh, impatient and needing relief.

He slid his fingers in, one after the other until he could fit three fingers knuckle-deep into her cunt. He pumped his hand slowly, pressing the pad of his thumb against her clit and moving in slow, even circles. He trailed his mouth along the line of her clit, tongue flicking out to press and tease her cunt. Vivian gripped his hair, fingernails scrabbling over the short military cut.

“Nate, come on, that’s enough teasing-”

The sound of his name got Cable to look up at her. He seemed surprised. “What did you call me?”

Vivian blinked, a hard twinge of fear stabbing through her stomach. “Sorry, I guess I should have asked first…”

“Say it again.”

“What?”

Cable stared up at her, eyebrows raised. “Say my name again.”

“You want me to call you ‘Nate?’”

“Yes,” he said, none too gently. His voice strained with want, as if just hearing her call his name tested his willpower.

And of course, that gave Vivian an idea. She had never been able to just relax in a situation, never been able to just lay back and enjoy what was being done to her. She needed a little control. In fact, that would probably help with the fluttering nervousness in her stomach.

“You like when I say your name?” Vivian asked, fingers scratching at the back of his scalp.

Cable crawled back up so that his hands were placed firmly on both sides of her head. “Yes.”

“Why don’t you show me how much you like it?” Vivian said, sitting up. She bent to kiss him, stretching up onto her elbows. She tasted herself on his lips.

“What have you got in mind?” Cable asked.

“Take your pants off and find out.”

Cable chuckled and did as she asked, stripping down until he was completely naked. She had him sit on the bed and straddled his lap, pushing him to lean back against the headboard.

Vivian braced herself on her knees, lowering herself down over his lap. She slid herself down over his cock, just brushing against him. He jumped as she lowered herself down, watching intently, his eye flashing red in the half-light. She gripped his shoulders for leverage and leaned down to bite his earlobe, the hollow of his throat, until she claimed his lips in another kiss. She rubbed his cock just enough to get him all slicked up and aching, until he was moaning in her ear.

“Jesus, that feels so good,” Cable breathed, gripping her hips. “You gonna fuck me, baby?”

“Maybe I’ll tease you until you say please,” Vivian replied, grinding down just a little harder.

“It won’t take much more, I can promise you that.”

Vivian eased up enough to sit back on his thighs and get herself positioned comfortably. She took the base of his cock in her hands, pumping gently - not that he needed any more help at this point. He was hard and flushed red from root to tip, heavy in her hand and ready for her to sink down on.

“Hold on,” Cable said, voice strained. “Condom?”

“Baby factory doesn’t work.”

“Then go for it.”

Vivian sank down on him, working herself down slowly so that she could stretch to accommodate his size. He was good and slicked up from her just rubbing on him, so it wasn’t a hard stretch. She heard him sigh, heard him call her name, before she lifted herself up and sank down on him again.

“Fuck, baby,” he breathed, leaning his head back against the headboard. His fingers dug into her hips, searching for anything to grab.

“You like that?”

“I like that.”

She sank down on him harder, deep as she could go, until he was almost lifting her up and slamming her back down himself. He called her name again, one right after the other, peppered in between fuck and yes and his deep, gruff groans. Finally, he grabbed her hips, lifted her off of him, and flipped her on her back, settling down between her legs. He slid his cock back in, looking for any kind of friction he could manage.

“You’re so fucking tight,” he groaned in her ear. “So wet for me, baby. You want me to fuck you like this? Nice and hard like this?”

“Look who’s chatty now,” Vivian breathed, making him smile against her skin. “Keep fucking me, Nate.”

“Say that again.”

“Fuck me, Nate,” Vivian said, digging her nails into his back. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him in as close as she could. “Just like that.”

“My name sounds so good in your mouth, darlin’,” he said, slamming his hips against hers. “I’m close.”

Vivian nodded. “I’m ready.”

Cable pressed down against her so that they were chest to chest as he thrust once, twice, and came with her name in his mouth. Vivian followed right before him, squeezing every bit of him that she could manage with her hands as she clenched down around him. He rode out his release, pumping his hips slowly until he could ease out. He pressed his forehead against hers, breathing heavy, before kissing her forehead and rolling onto his side.

He ran his fingers down her side, following the line of her hip. “You okay?”

Vivian kissed him, throwing her leg over his. “Never better.”

----

They’d been asleep for maybe a couple of hours before a knock sounded at the door. Vivian wouldn’t have heard it at all had she been sleeping by herself, but it was hard to stay asleep when she wasn’t used to someone being in the bed next to her. Especially someone naked who looked as good as Cable did disheveled from sleep. Cable, on the other hand, was a light sleeper anyway and would have woken up from a pin dropping in the next room over.

Vivian rubbed her eyes and sat up on the edge of the bed. Cable grabbed her hip, scooting her in close to him. “Want me to get that?”

“No,” Vivian replied, standing up to stretch. She searched around for the first shirt she saw and something that kind of looked like shorts on her floor. “It’s 9AM. I guarantee I know who’s at my door.”

“If it’s that clown in the red suit-”

Vivian pulled on the clothes she found and bent down to kiss him good morning. “I will send him promptly on his way with no cookies, nor milk. Or coffee. That’s usually why he gets here this early.”

“Go get rid of him,” Cable replied, stretching before throwing the covers off of himself. “I’ll make breakfast after you slam the door in his face.”

“My hero.”

The knocking was getting louder and was now punctuated by Wade’s sing-songing voice. She almost wanted to see how long he would do it before either giving up or having the cops called on him. She could bet that calling the cops would happen before he gave up. But she wanted breakfast and five minutes awake with Cable before the both of them had to go get the day started.

Vivian opened the door and made sure to block the entrance so that Wade couldn’t push straight past her. “Can I help you?”

“Well, hello! Good morning to me.” Wade said, looking up Vivian up and down and whistling. “I was just in the neighborhood and noticed a blue truck parked next to your car in a place where there usually isn’t a blue truck. And I find you this morning wearing the shirt a certain Grumpy Daddy was wearing yesterday and a pair of boxers I guarantee you don’t own.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Vivian said, grinning. “These are my pajamas.”

“Don’t you lie to me. You wear those Pikachu pants I bought you to sleep in.”

“Well, I wear these under the Pikachu pants.”

“Come on, McSteamy! You’ve got to tell me all about it!” Wade whined, on the verge of outright begging. “Viv, he’s still here this morning. I want all the dirty details, right on down to what Grumpypants says in bed.”

Vivian nodded, pretending to hear him out. “Still don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Viv, for the love of God, just say yes or no. Was the dick good?”

“Yes.”

And she promptly slammed the door in his face. She locked every lock so that there was no chance of him getting in short of literally breaking down her door. She could still hear him yelling out her name, trying to get her to come let him back in.

Vivian padded into the kitchen where she found Cable searching through her fridge. He was still naked, considering that she was wearing his clothes. “You won’t find much in there to make breakfast with, I’m afraid. I don’t have time to eat here that often.”

“There’s eggs and bacon. Looks like a good breakfast to me.”

Vivian sat down at the table and watched him get to work. He’d already set to making a pot of coffee. “I’m gonna put in some clinic hours today. Want to take a shower with me after breakfast?”

“Yes ma’am,” Cable replied, sitting down at the table across from her. He handed her a steaming mug of coffee and took one for himself. He peered over at the stove every now and then to check on the eggs and bacon. “I’ve got a job to do after lunch, but it won’t take me long.”

“So, I’ll see you tonight then?” Vivian asked,taking a sip from her mug.

“Mhm. And we’ll get a good night’s sleep after that.”

----

Vivian had put in her hours at the clinic and headed right over to Xavier’s mansion. She still had a month left of working her clinic hours, but after that she’d be moving permanently back into the mansion. As she walked down the hallways of her old home, she wondered if her room was occupied or if it had remained empty all these years. Surely Colossus had boarded another new trainee. Maybe she’d finally get a bigger room…

She sat down at the kitchen table with Colossus and waited for Wade to show up. He’d been living at the mansion for months now, ever since Colossus had pieced him back together after Vanessa’s death. Really, of all the people at the table, she was the one who should have been late - not Wade. And yet, he always seemed to run on his own schedule unless he had a job to do.

“So, this is what we are going to do,” Colossus said, clicking his pen. He’d been doodling on his notepad while he waited for Vivian to get comfortable and was more than done with waiting for Wade to pop in. “We are going to create a game plan.”

Just then, Wade popped into the kitchen. He plunked himself down at the table on the other side of Colossus, peering over the larger man’s shoulder. “Well, Uncle Wade’s coming along no matter what, so I’m just gonna sit in on this one.”

Colossus wrinkled his nose, the easiest way to determine that he thought something was a bad idea. “I am not sure that is a good idea, Wade.”

It usually wasn’t a great idea to bring Wade along on any mission that required tact, but Vivian kept her mouth shut on that one. She couldn’t take part, so she didn’t have much to contribute. This was Colossus’s area of expertise, not hers.

“I mean, what’s the worst that can happen? We knock on the door to take the bastard’s kids and he pulls a gun on us?” Wade asked, snorting. “I’ve got bad news for him.”

“He won’t be able to do anything,” Vivian said. She fidgeted with the edge of the tablecloth. It was something Colossus had picked out, clearly - it was minimalist and a little utilitarian, but it was clean and crisp from being freshly laundered. “The X-Men aren’t subject to the government. If you’re coming to get Benji and Shelly, Jack doesn’t have a choice but to give them up.”

Colossus scribbled with his pen. “Be that as it may, I am still not sure if you should be the one to go with me, Wade.”

“I’ll go.”

A voice sounded from the kitchen door, gruff and deep. The three turned to find Cable leaning against the doorway, fully dressed in his usual uniform of cargo pants, skin-tight t-shirt, and utility bag (Wade still wouldn’t give up the fanny pack joke - Vivian tended to agree but she didn’t mention it). He strode in and took a seat at the table next to Vivian, crossing his legs under the table.

“Well, howdy stranger,” Vivian grinned. “What are you doing here?”

“I live here,” he replied.

“You could have mentioned that,” Vivian said, bumping his shoulder with hers.

“You didn’t ask.”

Wade reached all the way around Colossus and clapped Cable on the back. “Glad to have you on board, Marty McFly! What a way to meet your new girlfriend’s kids, huh?”

“Are you sure about that, Cable?” Colossus asked, watching him carefully. Colossus still had a hard time trusting Cable, but he’d never made it known. He accepted that his wariness also came from a place of protectiveness, but Vivian was a big girl and could handle herself just fine.

Vivian mirrored Colossus’s concern. “I kind of agree with Colossus here. Wade can handle this just fine.”

Cable shrugged. “I’m not gonna kill the guy. Probably.”

“Hey, hey, I’m going whether Cable goes or not!” Wade snapped.

“Enough!” Colossus said, tearing the sheet out of his notepad and crumpling it up. “The three of us will go. We will keep this as peaceful as possible.”

“And if we get a few good headshots in, no harm done!”

Vivian smacked Wade’s arm. “If you traumatize my children, I will find a way to kill you.”

“Colossus will cover their eyes, Cable and I will take aim.”

Cable put his hand on the back of Vivian’s chair. “We’ll take care of it.”

“I trust you. All of you. On varying levels, but I can’t go with you so I’m going to have to trust you.”

[permian-tropos]

Hi! you said you only like particular types of Kylux, do you have any stories to recommend? How do you feel about gingerpilot, hux/rose (hose?) and hux/cardinal?

It’s actually been a few years since I shipped kylux. My absolute ultimate Star Wars OTP that has consumed 50% of my waking thoughts has been gallirae, which is such a teensy Imperial rarepair. Even with it being so teensy, just myself and some friends, I haven’t run out of ways to explore it. There’s so much untapped potential. I’ve shipped it for longer than I shipped kylux. Rae Sloane in particular succeeds at being the villainous archetype that a lot of people including myself had to work to transform Hux into. An ambitious, talented, career officer and underdog with reasons to passionately defend the system and other reasons to doubt or resent it. 

Back when I was more kylux-exclusive, once I got into the idea of creating my own content, I was very fixated on that and found other fic to be somewhat distracting. Also lately my attention span when it comes to reading fanfic has drastically improved. (Going back on ADHD meds has... been part of it). So back in the day, I noticed plenty of cool stories, including stuff friends of mine wrote, but struggled to read it. My impression of fandom was more the stuff that wound up on my tumblr dash. Plus I did a ton of RP. There’s probably a lot of really good kylux fic out there that I never got around to reading, also a lot of good kylux fic I read but forgot. I didn’t keep good records on AO3. I just now checked my bookmarks list for you and the kylux fics on there? I do not remember anything about them and I really did read them ages ago. I don’t even have enough links to fics my old fandom friends wrote. I really just wasn’t much of a content curator. 

I think my ideal kylux (The Fic I Never Truly Wrote) would be something with a truly sci-fi, fantasy, or paranormal plot. Something besides romance is going on, danger and intrigue especially coming from extraordinary sources. There’s a whole chunk of worldbuilding, intrigue, suspense or danger. Kind of action-adventure buddy-dramedy-ish (I said kylux isn’t like ineffable husbands in personality but that doesn’t mean they can’t be thrown into slightly alike plot circumstances).

That being said. There’s one kylux fic I still remember liking AND remembered enough identifying info to find it again on AO3 (there’s a couple of others that I just... FUCK... I can’t remember the author or fic name even though a lot of other stuff is really clear in my mind. Sorry. I was depressed and disorganized for the past few years). I’m not saying this one’s the best of everything I’ve read, or exactly what I might have been looking for. But I remember it. It’s quite old by sequel trilogy fandom standards. Also if it turns out to have been right about Palpatine possession being the endgame thing, that will be neat as heck.

Saint by @ofcorsetstrash​ lol I think I’ve told them once before that this is inexplicably one of my favorite fics (not that it’s inexplicable because it’s not good but that I read it very early on and it remained memorable with how huge the fandom got) it just resonated with me maybe I really liked the way it represented mental conversations with use of text formatting, that’s something I did in one of my first fanfics and it’s a very cool and vivid technique.

Also there’s these fics my best friend Mads @honeypothux wrote a while back: 

Seasons Greetings From the Solo-Organas -- a holiday comedy with a cool background element of a modern AU with Star Wars infused history (I’m a sucker for modern settings that are like what medieval fantasy is to medieval Europe -- very similar normal everyday life, very different geopolitics and history. It has the same intrigue for me as magic realism.) 

When the Crypt Door Creaks -- sadly unfinished but it’s young adult Kylo and Hux in a haunted Disney ride adventure. The Haunted Mansion itself. A lot of cool ideas, reminds me a teeny bit of a Henry Selick animated film. 

And the ones of mine I like:

Flashburn -- very very weird context for this one, fandom got obsessed with tentacle rape for a brief while and I found it squicky and started a fic to work through that squick by taking the idea seriously, but it’s not at all explicit, it’s about as implicit as you can get without actual ambiguity. Rated T but check the warnings. It’s more about Kylo and Hux discovering ways to not hate each other. 

Our Wicked Home -- maybe my favorite kylux fic I’ve written. Senator Hux returns to the abandoned Arkanis Academy as part of a truth and reconciliation, alongside his Jedi bodyguard Ben Solo. Hux doesn’t have a bad relationship with his family in this (and his parents were happily married), and it’s hard for him to cope with having nostalgia for a place where there was so much suffering.

Memory of Snow -- quiet alpine angst post-canon with hermit Kylo finding outcast Hux has tracked him down 

Moving on: 

How I feel about gingerpilot? Never really felt like my thing. 

Hux/Rose? I have never seen it called Hose that’s hilarious omfg. I didn’t passionately love it at first but my pal @tobermoriansass got me into it. I definitely don’t ship it in all possible configurations. Not as a cutesy sort of ship, definitely. Something raw and rotten and intense. I have a half-finished Hux/Rose fic that I wrote for a fic exchange. Still feel guilty about not completing it. But I kind of gave myself a writing injury trying to finish it, pushed myself too hard. I’ll come back to it when I’m ready. 

If you want a smut rec here’s a wild ride of a Finn/Rose/Hux weird alien psychic bond threesome 

Hux/Cardinal? I haven’t read Phasma yet, just had other people tell me about it. I’d kind of like to ship them as brothers. This is mostly because I don’t like canon Brendol Hux having no complexity in his relationship to his son. I think he was once an interesting character who could have been even more interesting and who can’t be interesting when he’s too repulsive to linger on for long. So having Cardinal and Armitage develop a strong brotherly bond adds to a complicated family backstory. Deep down I want to do a Fullmetal Alchemist AU for them where Cardinal is the disembodied suit of armor brother to Armitage the shrimpy irascible genius, though they’re far less heroic than the Elrics. 

Ummmmmm

I think that’s about it except that one major reason why I don’t read kylux is that I’m absolutely obsessed with my OC of his mom and I so vastly prefer the universe where she exists because she’s like a weird overpowered feral ocean witch. If only canon had invented her instead of me. 

OH ALSO I FORGOT THANK YOU FOR THE QUESTION ANON YOURE VERY LOVELY HOPE YOU ENJOY THE FICS I JUST GOT SO FOCUSED ON ANSWERING I FORGOT I WAS VERY HAPPY TO GET YOUR ASK LOL

[iamrheaspeaks]

The Void

Italics: Inner dialogue 

Warnings: Rape, Non Consensual Voyeurism, Disassociation

Word Count: ~1.6k

A/N: Took a break from Erik to show my original OC’s love. This is number 2 of 2 updates, but they don't have to be read in order. As always this is lightly proofread/ edited. This chapter although not heavily vivid ‘in scene’ can still be triggering. I have included alerts before and after the actual scene so you can skip over that specific portion if you’d like but, and I can’t stress this enough, PLEASE DO NOT READ IF ANY OF THESE THINGS ARE TRIGGERS FOR YOU! The last thing I want to do is trigger anyone or hinder their recovery. 

Golden flecks of sunlight cast cool shades as it shined throw the blinds. All the windows and doors are ajar allowing the breeze to sweep in. Providing a brief chill to calm Milly’s skin. Tact with beads of sweat, only aiding to fuse the back of her arms and flattened thighs to the faux leather couch seat beneath her. To anyone who would happen upon her in her current state, Milly is just looking at something very intently on her phone while listening to music on YouTube. In reality…in reality the music has actually been on auto play and its not playing music anymore. All that’s pouring through the speakers is the sounds of rainforest meditation for sleeping. The screen on her phone was blacked out. There was a glossy haze subtly attempting to cover the pain behind her eyes. Serving as the only indicator that she was not here at all. The cage had been rattled again. The beast wanted out. Wanted acknowledgement. Wanted the light.

That crack of light…

~Fall 2007

“Fuck…you feel good”. Milly moaned in response, eyes shut hands gripping the shoulders of a boy who was after the same thing she was in that moment. Release. “Damn girl. You gonna make me cum”. The room too dark to make out each other’s facial features but Milly could tell when his head dropped back because of how his shoulders slacked. Their hush moans and the squeaking of his standard issued piece of shit bed the school provided.

Milly groaned deep from her chest as they climaxed in unison, with him letting out a low fuck. Once she was able to breathe somewhat normally Milly chuckled a low “Thank you” to her potential fuck buddy, tapping his side so he could roll over and she can start her trek back to her own dorm. As Milly begins to dress a knock happens at the door. “Just give me a minute I’m almost done”, Milly whispered for some reason. Like she didn’t have to walk by whomever it was to leave the room. “Can you hand me my pants?”

“It’s just my roommate you good.” Noticing the vice grip he had on her pants as he opened the door a wave of indifference hit Milly. For a split second it felt like someone sent a small jolt threw Milly’s body. Her dominant hand found its way journeying to the back of her neck to smooth down the hairs that were starting to come to a stand. What is this feeling? Something is…off. As she went to hop down from the bed to exit all Milly’s actions were halted as four guys entered the tiny room. Three of them promptly taking a seat on the bed opposite the one where she was just willingly ravished. Potential fuck buddy making his way over to her placing his hands on her shoulders, “You good”? The question was supposed to serve as a distraction to his roommate pulling up a chair directly behind her. It didn’t work. Milly’s eyes cut to the right, taking in the three dark figures sat on the bed perched like birds on cable wires waiting for a restaurant to throw out the old bread. Not one of them uncomfortable with how this situation was unfolding. Ears taking in the sounds of the guy behind her unbuckling and sliding down his pants and then sitting down in the chair.

 🛑🛑Highly Triggering Section Below🛑🛑

🛑🛑🛑Please Skip If You Need To🛑🛑🛑

That crack of light…

That feeling. It was her fight or flight response. Her body really gave her too much credit if it really thought she was capable of executing either. What other opinions are left? Freeze. Her body grew stiff as all the warmth descended, crashing like a wave onto the concrete floor beneath her feet. Pupils instinctively dilating, trying to find something for her mind to fixate on before giving unwavering eye contact as he slowly pushed her backwards. Holding in her tears Milly never answered the question as his roommate pulled her down into his lap.

“Fuck”!

Focus on the light. Focus on getting through this.

“Damn ma! You tight as hell.” he grunted pulling Milly’s back to his chest with a hard thrust to fully sheath himself within her.

Focus on the light. Focus on getting through this. The light is your exit.

Milly looked up at the boy leaning in front of her, letting out a whimper as her mind registered that he was still holding her by the shoulders. Pleading with her eyes for him to intervene. The brief moment of relief that Milly was touched with got quickly snatched away as he leaned down by her ear, cementing her in that moment, “Watching you makes me wish I was inside you again”. Focus returning back to that crack of light, trying to retreat back into her subconscious before the feeling of the person underneath her still thrusting, shattered her psyche more. His hair was raising and falling against her back every time their hips impacted. Making her stomach knot and her chest burn as she forced herself to keep looking at the light coming through the bottom of the door from the hallway.

Focus on the light. Focus on getting through this. The light is your exit.

Releasing his grip on Milly’s shoulders and stepping back as his roommate finished and pushed Milly off of him to pull his pants back up. Legs nimble and wobbly due to forcing herself to not feel the sensation of their thighs touching caused her to crash to her knees on the floor from the rough dismount. 

🛑🛑🛑Trigger Over🛑🛑🛑

A random arm reached down to help her. Eyes never leaving the light Milly let out a weak and defeated “I’m good” before getting up on her own, dressing and leaving the room. As she crossed the threshold Milly was hit with the realization that a sort of death just happened. You turned my body into a graveyard.

The florescent lights burned her eyes as she stepped completely into the hallway, met with nothing but more silence. Milly shoved her hands into her jacket pockets. Digging her nails into her palms past the point of pain just to further distract herself from crying. It was about a mile walk back to her dorm. Your roommates are gone for the weekend. Keep it together until you get to the room. Just…keep walking. Milly made it down the three flights of the stairs and past the campus security patrol car and into the student center. Student center…that’s what 1/3 of the- “Hey Milly! Where you on your way to?” It was the Head Resident Director of Milly’s Dorm, J.R. It’s only a month or two into the semester but she somehow found it his presence didn't normally set off her anxiety like it was now. Tonight though. After knowing that the last thing she wanted to do was recite the very thing she was trying to forget. That every single dark figure Milly was desperately trying to scrub from her memory was a football player. And that out of everything that had already transpired the tiniest detail was the main reason she felt too triggered to talk. His jersey made it impossible to forget the fact that he’s the Head Football Coach. No! She just wanted to shower and shove this a far down into her subconscious as possible.

“I’m heading back to the dorm” Milly spilled out like vomit face down and toes pointed together before hurriedly turning the continue walking. “You sure you okay?” J.R. inquired. Turning to face him briefly walking backwards Milly tried her best to give a genuine smile while waving, “Yeah. All good”.

The water sputtering out of the broken showerhead wasn’t hot enough to combat the chill of shame and regret building in her because of the night’s events. There was more body wash on the floor by her flip flop covered feet than on her shower ball thanks to her trembling hands. Scrubbing so hard she bleed in some places. Off! Get it off! Keep scrubbing. Just get off. Just as she felt her mind slipping a single name drew her out. “Denver! I have to call Denver”.

Miles away Denver was sitting in her room, local radio station humming lowly out of her radio as she wrote one of her stories. Legs crossed Indian style, notebook in her lap, surrounded by pens and loose leaf paper. Completely buried in her passion when suddenly her whole room grew cold. Releasing a breath and witnessing it briefly materialize in front of her eyes. Just as Denver was about to question silently to herself what the fuck was going on her phone rang. Surprised to see Milly calling her at such a late hour but still excited to speak to her since this is their first time not living in the same state. Actually, it’s their first real time apart since becoming friends. Voice full of life “Hey best friend!” Denver’s heart sank as she’s met with Milly’s sobs on the other end of the line.

“D-Denver?” Milly finally managed to mumble.

“Milly? What’s up? What’s wrong?”

~Present day

“Milly? Milly. Milly!”

Milly got shocked back into reality at the sound of Denver screaming her name, Ishe standing next to her snapping his fingers in her face. Both Denver and Ishe being really careful and not wanting to actually touch her in the moment. She was tiny but Milly could throw a punch and they hurt.

“H-how long have you been saying my name?” Milly inquired as her eyes glanced back and forth between the two of them.

“That’s not important. Are you okay?” Ishe asked as he used both hands to wipe away the cascade of tears that saturated her cheeks before sitting down beside her.

Denver sat on the other side gently rubbing Milly’s back with her chin on Milly’s shoulder, “It’s okay. It’s over. You’re not there anymore”.

“Denver. How long?”

“I don’t know. Maybe about three to five minutes or so”

“It felt like. I­–I was back there. Like it was happening all over again.” Milly turned towards Denver wrapping her arms tight around her frame as she squeezed her into a hug. Denver isn’t big on touch but she knew Milly was so she didn’t fight it. Not wanting to hold her friend too long against her will, Milly breathed a weak “Thank you” as she released her death grip on Denver.

S/N: Denver is based off my real life best friend so sometimes her character will cross stories if I see fit.

A/N: I know this was loaded. Thank you to any and everyone who braved through this.

Tags: @savagesensitivity @cancerianprincess @another-imaginesblog