#hes not really my crush
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OG Shang Qinghua loves his brother even if he says nonsense most of the time
#svsss#shang qinghua#original shang qinghua#airplane bro#airplane shooting towards the sky#they have a great relationship and Og Shang qinghua sort of knows about the transmigration#really he just thinks his brother can see the future but mostly uses it like 'if you know this treatu wont work THEN WRITE IT YOURSELF'#they get along#also like to think Baby Airplane and Baby mobei meet and Og Sqh can already see his brothers crush he does NOT like it#shang brothers#shang twins#<- sort of#my art#nibbelraz
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Gregory fears FNAF DJ music man...Abby does not
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#abby schmidt#fnaf gregory#dj music man#security breach#fnaf fanart#MUSIC MANNNNNNN 🔥🔥🔥#finally Abby formally meeting DJ music man#I just know in my heart Abby would love DJ#like DJ music man is cool dude just vibes and makes beats#he’s also just really impressive due to his size and all#GREGORY ON the other hand I don’t think is as excited to see him#WHICH IS fair seeing he was chased by the guy#almost getting crushed I think would ruin anyone’s impressions on a person#BUT DJ music man is chill promise Gregory 🙏🏾#just jam out with him he’s chill like that
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not me and my work crush bonding over SUPER JUNIOR yesterday
#a surreal moment for sure#hes not really my crush#or is he#(a todas le gusta entonces por ese solo motivo deja de interesarme)#pero es tan lindo jesus maria y jose no puede ser tan lindo#tiene la sonrisa mas preciosa q vi jamas o(-(#menos mal q no es muy gracioso porque sino ya estaría consumida por la locura
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Courting Chaos (to Balance)
A KlarionxDanny brain worm that has spawned
Tim Drake, aka Red Robin gets kidnapped suddenly and very randomly by Klarion in the middle of a JL and others meeting.
Leaving with a
"I'LL RETURN HIM WHEN HES NO LONGER USEFUL JUSTICE LOSERS!"
And fire and chaos in his wake.
While the JL, and others scramble to figure out what Klarion has planned this time, Tim manages to break free of whatever Klarion had used to kidnap him only to find himself on a couch and Klarion nervously petting Teekl on his lap while also sitting in a chair across from him.
When Tim goes to demand to know why Klarion kidnapped him Klarion finally speaks.
"Okay, I wanna strike a deal. I won't bug you or your little Young Just US buddies if you help me ask someone out..."
"...What the fuck Klarion?" Was Tim's only response.
-x-x-
So it turns out, every so often the three main entities and actual factions of Order, Chaos, and Balance get together to well discuss things happening in certain Realms, worlds, and timelines. Basicly to touch base, see where everyone was at. Etc etc.
Order was Order. Chaos was Chaos.
Very simple.
Both could be bad. To much order caused restraint and could snuff out growth. To much Chaos could get out of hand and cause ruin.
Both could be good. Order help stabilizes worlds and builds their future. Chaos allowed creativity to roam and brought forth wonderful things.
And Balance.
Well Balance was the very scales that kept both sides in check. They were neutral grounds. The ones that normally oversaw the meetings as well. And despite their low numbers they held powerful entities that more than made up for it.
Balance did their best to keep things in check, sure they do have their own preference sometimes and allowed the scales to tip a tiny bit but always corrected it later if it tips to much.
It was at this meeting, a meeting even Klarion knew better than to do anything too chaotic, pranks were fine but nothing too much, and had been chatting with a newcomer to the side of Chaos (Danielle, call me Ellie, Phantom. She did some heroing on the side but liked causing chaos in her wake to do so, he liked her so far though.) When the bells for the side of Balance to appear announced them.
Ellie had smiled brightly and said her brother was coming with his mentor, turns out her brother was apart of the Balance group which meant that he was strong, strong enough to need a mentor.
He watched as the members of Balance walked, teleported, flew, and other means into the meeting halls. And then froze when his eyes caught sight of him.
Floating next to a blue skined being that was switching ages was a beautiful otherworldly person.
Snow white hair that wisped upwards oh so softly. Glowing green eyes that were cat-like with their piercing glance. A galaxy cloak hanged around his shoulders and seemed to shift with each movement. Star like freckles decorated his face and seemed to glow a soft bluish white. A crown made of ice and aurora lights floated above his head as well.
All in all Klarion couldn't keep his eyes off of the being at all. He nearly spat his water out when Ellie commented that was her brother Danny, or rather.
High King of the Infinite Realms, Daniel 'Danny' Phantom. The Great One. Defeater of the Tyrant King. The Halfa. The Peaceful End. The Balance of the Undead. (And his mentor was the Ghost of Time itself. THE very Keeper of Time, Kronos original form himself.)
Klarion honestly didn't know what to think or rather what emotions he was feeling when he spotted Danny, nor why his face felt so hot and red when the young man looked over at them and smiled. (He was smiling at Ellie but Klarion for some reason hoped it was for him as well)
It wasn't until halfway in the meeting when a rather ingenious prank that Klarion, Ellie, and a few others had set up went off... thing was it strong enough that it had hit Danny's side of the meeting and had hit him.
Now, again pranks were okay but only after the meetings. It was one of the few rules many, even those in Chaos, took seriously because once it was done and over they could go do their things. So for it to happen in the middle of a meeting means someone set their time on the prank wrong and add the fact it hit a person on the Balance side...
Yeah not good.
Only...
Only instead of getting angry, even Clockwork who was seated next to Danny was chuckling, Danny threw his head back and laughed about it. And his laugh... was very cute.
And before he knew it, Klarion had already fallen.
-x-x-
"So yeah.... Since you have a boyfriend and know how to date in this modern age, I need your advice."
".... Klarion just because I'm dating Bernard doesn't mean I know how I did it..."
"Bernard? I thought you were dating that one Supes?"
#danny phantom#danny fenton#dp x dc#blue rambles#crossover#writing ideas#random idea#danny phantom dc#KlarionxDanny#ngl kinda based Klarion crushing off how my parents meet#they were at a party due to their siblings and my ma mentioned she was walking around and heard my dad's laughter above everyone's#said she really liked his laugh and found him at the party#very loosely based on my ma getting her crush on my dad#anyways Klarion is crushing hard#he cant ask Ellie though. He may have just meet her but he can sense shes gonna be a gremlin about it#so he goes to the one person he knows is a in a relationship! in the modern age too!#only he kidnaps Tim and well...#chaos#meanwhile Danny gushes to his friends about a cute chaos lord he spotted at the meeting#he wants to talk to him but Ellie is being a troll and not telling him anything about her new friend
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During the post dark cream arc where Cross was pregnant with Aim, is it possible for Aim to mive and kick while in the soul…? And if so is it painful for Cross+
continuing @clownyclowns' comic's topic <3
#zu art#comic#post dark cream#cross!sans#preg!cross#dream!sans#undertale#undertale au#utmv#''I'm no longer who I used to be'' [pregnancy edition]#my defensive reaction to Cross' ex-crush was to draw more of him being pregnant with Dream's child /jjj#if I had a nickel for every time I drew a multi-page comic about the issue of roles & self-esteem in a same-sex family I'd have two nickels#which isn't a lot but omg it happened twice :'D#well I love me some preg!Cross with nesting syndrome & emotional swings ;w;#(or is this also a midlife crisis? >:/ gotta learn—)#little Aim in Cross' soul be like: dad is mad at papa?? not on my watch— *kicks*#a lil defender <33#I really like how their love languages work cause Dream's is an act if service and he tries to show his love the same way by offering help#but Cross' is physical touches so he reacts sharply to the help but relaxes (breaks :'3) after hugs (Dream does to calm them both down)#men... ;w;☆#be back soon! ;3
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Bilbo making the king under the mountain act goofy as hell by just existing.
#But really though he's such a dork#It's like watching someone have a first crush#bagginshield#the hobbit#thorin oakenshield#bilbo baggins#thilbo#bilbo x thorin#My favorite middle-aged men
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Astarion: I think he likes us. Tav: I like him, too. But I'd never say it to his smarmy face. Raphael has a crush on Tav and tries real hard to act cool about it.
#raphael#raphael bg3#raphael baldur's gate 3#bg3#baldur's gate 3#Raphael is that suave charming bad boy who tries to look cool as hell (heh) in front of his crush like an absolute nerd#meanwhile my tav also has a crush on him so we're both losers really#bg3gifs#korilla hearthflame#screaming at the “came out on top” line... the writers definitely did that on purpose and it makes my brain go brrr#because that definitely means he likes you carnally since we found out about HoH#Also look at Tav's faceeeeeee#They're like “OH”#Like it just hit them#Omggggggg
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takin dumb photos at a sleepover or something
#persona 4#p4#yosuke hanamura#yu narukami#My hc is that yu like knows when he likes someone p quick and thats why in his early SLs w ppl he can flirt n stuff#like how he can call yosuke cute in his rank 3 like what#but i think hed be really happy when his dense and conflicted af crush actually reciprocates#so idk hearteyes yu is v good lol i think he’s earned it#Idk why i keep drawing them like hangin out in their pjs maybe I yearn for bein cozy instead of dying of heat and humidity every day
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Love for the dead is called grief.
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KO-FI
#my art#marble hornets#alex kralie#jay merrick#jaylex#vampire au#imagine seeing your crush again after years but its not really him anymore its something terrible wearing his skin#and he's more willing to be close to you now but its because he loves you the way snakes love rats#how the hell do you deal with that other than by pretending it could be real love#anyway alex pov you wake up from a nap and your situationship is being angsty about you and you dont know how to comfort him
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more doodles of this thing that haunts my brain and his boyfriend
More doodles centered around pre-godhood shenanigans under cut to keep post short for the sanity of others lol
tha legally mandated Only 1 bed trope ...
getting the old uniform out!
annnnd the obilgatory sad bonus U u U
#great god grove#ggg click clack#ggg thespius#ggg lovestory#i hope its a little clearer older clicky is balding as i intended lol#these two drive me insane a lot#in my heart they ran away together on a whim to pave their own way and they DID it. it took a while but they did it :]#...do you think in another universe click clack didnt make it to ascending and their story became one about tragic love? <- the evil in me#also context for the last comic: my hc is clicky always wore a suit until thespius ascended and switched to lower maintenance clothes#because right after thespie's ascension he got real depressed about their relationship and the clothing choice kinda stuck#so its thespius asking click clack to put on his suit again because he thinks heees sooo cute in it#(and def not also because hes aware so much time has passed and he wants to ignore it. look hes in his old outfit yay no horrors here!)#<- lies#also the wedding comment is specifically because like. imagine always joking about that w someone you have a crush on#then u become immortal#and realize ur relationships kinda doomed unless he also ascends#and u watch this guy u love get older and not really do anything romantic with anyone and kinda stay isolated#one half is happy your heart isnt broken cause theres still a chance he likes you#OTHER HALF ABSOLUTELY DISTRAUGHT CUZ UR THE GOD OF LOVE AND YOUR BESTEST PARTNER FRIEND IS ALONE (and not aromantic)#coughs. anyway.#thats a lot of tags sorry#sorry to the people who read these lol
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id fumble him so bad
#really really rushed but ill probably go back and clean these up tmrw anyway#i havent played stardew valley but ive been meaning to because i have a little crush on this guy ^_^ hes cute#idk why but smth about him is really endearing. like between him and sunburst i feel like theres a pattern here but idk what#i guess my type is boys that whimper#the last two images are based on a real conversation i had with my doctor a few years ago lol. deadass stared at me for a good 2 minutes#i wanna make a farmersona too...... if my minecraft gameplay is anything to go by id probably play with animals all day instead of#actually farming........ can i just do livestock in stardew.. i dont have a green thumb i managed to kill a succulent once......#actually idk if my computer is even strong enough to run steam but i dont wanna get it on my phone. maybe ill get the microsoft download#unless stardew has its own website like minecraft. i really dont know anything abt it so im going in blind from the start#my art#myart#doodles#puppysona#sona#sdv#sdv harvey#stardew valley#whats funny about this is i have a classmate who kinda looks like if brian david gilbert and harvey had a baby. i havent told him this
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I just know Gaz is so fucking good at rock climbing. He's just built perfectly for it, he's got the endurance, the flexibility, the grip, the core strength, the agility, the arm spread, he's not too bulky and heavy like Soap or Ghost, his height gives him quite a lot of advantages (even though sometimes there are trails for us hobbits, but mostly being tall helps). Price could probably give him a run for his money, but since I headcanon that Price has seriously fucked up his spine and joints, especially in his fingers, he might be held back by this. Also I feel like Kyle has the best endurance out of all four of them, so he does extremely well on the long ones. He's also got that magical ability to be able to take a rest at the tiniest little handle, like literally catches himself with two toes and a pinch on a non-existent bump in the rock and relaxes as if he's lounging on a beach, all muscles resting before the upcoming difficult few meters.
Also he's one of those who will climb even in slippers, just because he gotta flex like that.
No I'm not drooling over his fingers wrapped in that tape in places where he ripped calluses off, you are.
Also this was induced by a SoapGaz thought where Gaz runs Soap through some intensive training on the climbing walls and enjoys the view of all that muscle bulk flexing and rippling as Soap struggles to find his balance and makes mistakes in dispersing his weight which limits his reach. He's so tense, he can barely slur his Scottish nonsense out, sweat streaming down the dip of his spine and soaking his tank top through.
When he finally falls of the wall after reaching the top handle, his fingers are shaking and he needs Kyle's help to untie the harness knot. Wipes his forehead, leaving a white streak of magnesia stuck to the wet skin, and huffs and grumbles about how he'll still beat Kyle's PR one day.
Gaz won't let him, of course. But he won't stop Johnny from trying either, because after that he gets to massage all those sore muscles Soap didn't even know existed, and listen to him groan as he shamelessly leaks into his boxers. Because why wouldn't Soap get off the post-gym muscle strain, really. And why wouldn't Gaz enjoy watching him get painfully hard and sensitive from barely sexual touch, exploding into his mouth as soon as Kyle wraps his lips around Soap's tip.
#juju's grumbles#gaz cod#kyle gaz garrick#soap x gaz#gaz x soap#soapgaz#soap cod#john soap mactavish#cod#call of duty#listen i just really wanna go rock climbing again#this shit makes me feel so alive#and i just know gaz would volunteer as a trainer for kids groups in his local rock climbing club#also the one i am going to has this old man who has one arm amputated up to the elbow#BEST FUCKING CLIMBER IN THE CLUB#he's literally a beast i've seen him climb the 15 meters wall in seconds#also tatted up and wears a bandana and has like long white hair#i have such a crush on him#he's a trainer and i want to work with him so bad but also i know i'll embarrass myself#and my level is just really pathetic#so i just drool in my weakling corner as i watch him casually do the shit i can't even dream of with all my limbs intact
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giggle. teehee even.
#the bottom right one is jesse calling lukas his little bunny#but he doesnt really remember how to spell bunny#he'll figure it out someday#his cute little crush is an author after all#jesskas#mcsm#my art#mcsm jesse#mcsm lukas#minecraft story mode#mcsm fanart#mcsm au#forest deity au
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Zhu Bajie: do you exercise Travel Companion: I like to run away from my problems and feelings
The dialogue is based off a scene from Doctor Who. I don't think that my OC would be going with Zhu Bajie and the Destined One into the rock for the final battle (probably cause she is not able to enter) so she has to sit outside and wait anxiously for them to return.
She is happy to see them return but then also immediately notices how the Destined One's whole demeanour and aura changed. She knew that this point was going to happen where he inherits everything and becomes the new Monkey King, but I also think that she has a hard time wrapping her head around the concept of reincarnation and struggles with accepting it.
So yeah, I imagine the moment after new Sun Wukong comes out of the rock, it's an angsty moment. He just wants to see his best friend and tell her what happened, and now that he is finally "whole" again be able to propely have conversations with her and ask her about all the weird things she says and does, but instead she looks at him like she is very unsure of everything.
Sun Wukong doesn't really have the temper imo or at least here things get a bit heated and he snaps and well, she does what she is best at in situations like this: fucking book it :)))))
Obviously SWK wants to chase after her but Zhu Bajie helds him back and says "ayo kiddo give the lassie some time to process everything, she will come around" he doesn't want to but he knows that is what she needs atm.
Where is Travel Companion hiding meanwhile? In the Zodiac village, the Yin Tiger offered her a spare bedroom, and in exchange she helps around, with the crops, bringing materials back and forth and also has some good times drinking and sharing stories with the villager. Maybe also crying about her woes, and I think that the villager sharing their stories about SWK and explain more about his backstory and stuff helps the her to come around more.
also SWK knows she is there and comes by every day to get his harvest and the free medicing from your local meth dealer Xu Dog. She is hiding in Yin Tiger's lil blacksmith hut everytime he is visiting, but she knows that he knows that she knows that he is there.
And then one day when he is visting Yin Tiger, SWK sighs and goes all "hey bud can you pass this message to Travel Companion," and inserts some very sweet and sappy stuff, knowing that she is there and can hear him. Just as he is about to leave she decides to come out of her hiding spot and go "Hey... let's go talk somewhere more private".
SWK is not showing any emotions but you can tell by the flicker of his tail that he is relieved to see her. Bit worried about the dark eye circle and how not well-rested she looks like, but he will make sure to fix that soon.
#szynkART#wow that basically an entire fanfic lmfao#except it's not really a fanfic because I cannot write TT___TT#hey so any writer wanna swap skills with me for a month#let me write all the self-indulging fanfics and you get to draw all the selfindulging fanart#oh yeah also my OC had a massive school girl crush on Yin Tiger the first time she saw him#and he knows that but he is all like “gurl I am old enough to be your great great great great great great great grandfather”#but he cares for her#cepheus baskerville#black myth wukong#sun wukong x oc#sun wukong x reader
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Stan shook his head, chuckling as he hung up the phone. Geez, if he hadn't put a stop to that he was pretty sure his nephew was going to overheat and explode like one of Ford's old computers. Speaking of, he should probably make sure the fire extinguisher down in the lab wasn't expired if Ford and Dipper were gonna be messing around down there the rest of the summer.
Eh, that was a tomorrow problem. Dipper was still up in the attic with Mabel unpacking for another summer in Gravity Falls. Hopefully that meant Stan had at least twenty-four hours until the nerds started blowing stuff up. Mabel and Dipper's parents had seemed surprised the twins wanted another summer with their Grunkle Stan. After all, they were teenagers now, Stan couldn't blame their parents for expecting the two of them to want to spend a summer with kids their own age in California rather than an old fart in the middle of the woods. Well, two old farts, but their parents didn't know about the second one. Besides, Ford would probably object to being called a fart. He'd probably complain that's not the proper term Stanley, if anything I'm an old flatulence.
Stan shuddered. Man, he musta been on that boat with his brother for too long.
"GRUNKLE STAAAAAAAAAN!"
Speaking of the kids. Stan grunted as he hefted himself out of his armchair and made his way up the stairs toward the attic. There hadn't been any sound of breaking glass before Mabel's call, so he figured he could take his time getting up there. He heard a loud thump, a groan from Dipper, and a loud giggle from Mabel. Okay, maybe he should walk a little faster.
"There you are!" Mabel called. Stan stood in the doorway, staring at both of his niblings sprawled out on the floor, a half-rolled poster laying between them and a hammer still clutched in Mabel's hands.
"Dipper's trying to hang up this poster, but he's still not tall enough. I tried climbing on his back, but I guess he still hasn't gotten his puberty muscles yet." Mabel scrambled up and ran to Stan, holding out the hammer in front of her. "Can you do it?"
"I do too have muscles," Dipper grumbled, sitting up. "But no one can expect to hold up the forty pounds of sequins on your sweater and your giant head!"
Mabel stuck her tongue out at her brother. Stan laughed and took the hammer from her, ruffling her hair.
"No sweat, Pumpkin. Let a real man take over." He couldn't ignore the way Mabel's smile grew wider at the nickname. It had been almost a year since Stan got his memories back, but it seemed any little reminder that he was recovering still made his family happy. It was weird, in a good way, to see people care about him so much. And if he made sure to call Mabel by her nicknames even more than her real name, well sue him.
"You could just get me a stepladder," Dipper grumbled, shuffling to his feet.
"Ugh, then I gotta walk all the way back downstairs," Stan picked up a bent nail off the floor. "I'll just get it over with now. Besides, then Mabel can whip us up some lemonade while I work."
"Ooooo can I make Mabel-ade?"
Stan shrugged. "Sure, knock yourself out."
The words were barely out of his mouth before Mabel was squealing and running down the stairs. In the silence, Stan shifted on his feet, giving Dipper an awkward sideways glance.
"I haven't...had Mabel-ade before, have I?" he whispered.
Dipper smiled. "Nah, don't worry. That's a whole new horror you get to experience first hand."
Stan chuckled. "Right." He made his way to the wall, squinting at the wooden beams to try and figure out where he could safely sink a nail in. It's not like the place was structurally unsound, but he also hadn't had any sort of building inspection in uh...ever.
"So," Dipper started. "Why'd you want Mabel out of the room?"
Stan smiled. "Perceptive. Good job, kid." He lined up the nail on the beam that had the least amount of termite holes. "You're not in trouble, just wanted to warn ya. Speaking of 'puberty muscles', your Pops called. Apparently he thinks you still haven't had The Talk yet. He told me to keep an eye on ya and that he'd explain everything when you get home."
Stan slipped the edge of the poster under the nail, resting his elbow against the poster to hold it in place while he started hammering.
"Had himself all worked up over it. 'Oh Uncle Stanford, Dipper's a teenager now, he might start to get ideas'," Stan laughed as he finished hammering. "So just, ya know, when you see him pretend I didn't tell ya about the birds and the bees already or anything. Some dads get weird about that. Apparently, he wants to be the one to tell you himself." Stan put his hands on his hips and admired his handy-work. A little crooked, but what wasn't in this place? He nodded and turned to Dipper, who was looking at him with his eyebrows drawn together.
"But...Grunkle Stan, you didn't have that talk with me," he murmured.
"Ha! There ya go," Stan grinned, punching Dipper on the shoulder. "You're gettin' better at lyin' kid."
"But I'm not lying."
"Wow, I almost believed you that time!"
"No, Grunkle Stan," Dipper grabbed Stan's hand before he could leave the room. Stan looked down at Dipper and realized the boy's face had turned from confusion to distress. "You really didn't."
Stan frowned. "Whaddya mean I didn't? Don't tell me you forgot. I still remember having that talk with my old man." He shuddered. "Not the sorta thing you forget."
Dipper gripped his arm tighter. "How well do you remember having that conversation with me?
"Kid, you were making a face like I was about to pull your teeth out the whole time and you screamed, like, a lot. You couldn't even look at the diagrams in my Why Am I Sweaty? book."
"Grunkle Stan...none of that happened."
Stan froze. "But I remember it."
Dipper gently pulled the hammer out of Stan's hand and set it on the ground before grasping his other hand. "Have you...has this happened before?"
"Has what?" Stan could feel his heart rate picking up.
"Remembering things that aren't real."
"Alright kid, whatever joke this is, it isn't funny." Stan ripped his hands from Dipper's hold, rubbing them against his pants as his eyes darted around the room. An old habit. Looking for an exit.
Dipper held up his hands as if approaching a wild animal. "Stay calm. I can get Ford, maybe he can help figure this out. Maybe the memory gun just...um..."
"Just what?" Stan could feel his voice going shrill. "That gun was supposed to take stuff out of my head, not put stuff in!"
Dipper was beginning to look as panicked as Stan felt.
"Oh God," Stan muttered. "What else did it put in there. Dipper? What else isn't real?"
"This is the first time!" Dipper began to pace. "Unless...has Great Uncle Ford said anything? On the boat, did anything like this happen? This conversation?"
Stan shook his head, his breathing starting to feel funny. "No. But apparently asking me to remember stuff isn't exactly trustworthy - "
"He would have told me," Dipper said with certainty. "Great Uncle Ford would have told me if something happened. So it didn't. So this is the first time and, and, and, we can fix it! Right?"
Stan just stared at Dipper. They shared the same frightened eyes. For Dipper's sake, Stan nodded.
"MABEL-ADE IS READY! YOU WERE OUT OF CHERRIES, SO I USED MARBLES!"
Dipper and Stan glanced towards the stairs.
"Let's get you something to drink first," Dipper muttered, walking slowly towards Stan to take his hand again. "Then we can figure everything out."
"Sure, kid," Stan whispered. He didn't let go of Dipper's hand until they reached the kitchen.
***
They decided it was best not to tell Mabel. After all, it didn't seem like the sort of problem that the scrapbook could solve, and it wasn't worth causing her distress until they knew what they were dealing with. Instead, Dipper had been tasked with distracting Mabel while Ford and Stan commiserated in the kitchen. Stan really wasn't sure how good of a job they were doing of fooling Mabel. She had given him a weird look when he gave the kids money to go get ice cream in town. He couldn't blame her. He'd even thrown in a couple quarters so she could get sprinkles.
"Didn't Dipper mention some sort of brain scanner?" Stan offered. "I don't really like the idea of you poking around in there, but would it help?"
Ford shook his head. He was pacing the kitchen, hands clasped behind his back. "No. Project Mentem is broken. And even if I were to fix it, all I could do with it is see and or encrypt your memories. There would be no way for me to discern what's true and what's false since your mind interprets all of them as true." He stopped his pacing to take another swig of his Mabel-ade. Stan liked to give Ford grief about his coffee intake, but at this rate he'd be willing to let Ford have a couple cups of Joe if it meant he'd stop ingesting whatever sour, spicy, glittery drink Mabel was trying to pass off as lemonade. He was pretty sure Ford's eyes were starting to shake.
"So, you had no memory of this talk with Dipper until your phone call with his father?"
"Right."
"And when the memory returned, did it feel like the rest of them? Think hard, was there any difference in sensation?"
Stan shook his head. "Nope. The same sort of itch I always get."
Ford hummed. "Fiddleford told me once that some of his returning memories would get scrambled. Two puzzle pieces fitting together that shouldn't. For example, he swore there was a Christmas that I spent with him and Emma Mae, but it turned out he was combining his memories of Christmas with her with our own holiday celebration in the lab. Can you think of any other conversation with Dipper you could be mixing up? Anyone else you would have been having that conversation with other than Dipper? Perhaps your mind replaced your real conversation partner with Dipper?"
Stan frowned. "You think I just go talkin' about the birds and the bees with everybody?"
"Stan, just think."
He shrugged. "The only people I talk to who would even be young enough for that would be Soos or Wendy. There's no way I woulda given that talk to a girl, and I'm pretty sure Soos's abuelita woulda ripped me a new one if I had done anything to take away Soos's 'innocence'. I have enough self-preservation not to do that."
Ford nodded. "Alright. I feel comfortable with that reasoning." He took another swig of Mabel-ade. "However, then we're dealing with the more uncomfortable reality of the memory being completely fabricated."
"If you keep drinking that stuff, you're gonna start hallucinating too."
Ford's glass slammed down onto the table. "You've been having hallucinations?"
"No. I mean, not that I know of at least. Have I been?"
"Not that I've seen."
"Alright, then no."
Ford sighed and sat down in the chair across from Stan. He leaned forward, his elbows on the table and hands clasped together.
"I don't like hearing you do that," Ford murmured.
"Doing what?"
"Doubting your mind." Ford looked up to Stan, his eyes that horrible mix of calculating and pitiful that tended to appear these days.
Stan shrugged. "Why shouldn't I? We know I'm just making stuff up now. Heck, if Mabel didn't have pictures of all the crazy stuff we got up to last summer I'd probably think that was made up too."
Ford's eyes narrowed. "Hm. That might work."
"The scrapbook?"
"No, physical stimulus." Ford stood from the table again. "You said that when you had this conversation with Dipper you used a book to show him diagrams and such, correct?"
"Yeah. Why Am I Sweaty?"
Ford blinked. "You still have that thing?"
"Ma mailed it up back when she was cleaning out the house. She said she had a whole bunch of 'old science books' she thought her 'little scientist' might want before she donated 'em. I said I'd take 'em 'cause I was hoping some of them would be able to help with the portal. Turns out it was just a bunch of textbooks I stole from the high school and that thing. Came in handy though." Stan shrugged. "Maybe."
"Where is it?"
"If it wasn't destroyed it's probably still in my office. Why?"
Ford left the room without a word, coat billowing behind him. Stan took the opportunity to dump the rest of Ford's drink down the sink. He had a hunch he was about to have the full attention of a scientist on him for awhile and he'd prefer if that scientist wasn't vibrating like a beehive.
"Here we are!" Ford announced as he entered the room. "As I was saying, a physical stimulus might -" he stopped, staring at his glass. "My drink."
Stan shrugged. "I got thirsty."
Ford squinted at him. "Hm. Try looking through the pages of this. Maybe it will help ground you."
"But, won't that just make the fake memory more real?" Stan asked, flipping through the pages. The Pituitary Gland.
"That!" Stan shouted, pointing at the diagram. "Dipper screamed at that!"
Ford frowned. "That seems unlike him."
Stan groaned, dropping the book and putting his head in his hands. "I know but...I swear I can see it Ford. It feels so real."
Stan could hear the sound of Ford getting out of his chair, and there was suddenly a tentative hand on his shoulder.
"We'll figure it out, Stanley," he said softly.
"I just don't get why my brain would choose that memory to make," Stan mumbled through his hands. "Not that I want a buncha fake memories, but I could have at least come up with something cooler. Like winning a prize fight or kissing a mermaid or something."
Ford chuckled. "Well, I - " he was interrupted by the sound of the Shack door slamming open, frantic footsteps racing toward the kitchen. Stan lifted his head from his hands, leaning back to adopt a more nonchalant position in his chair. Ford gave his shoulder a squeeze.
"Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Ford!" Mabel burst into the kitchen, two small paper cups in her hands. "The ice cream lady said I could have two free samples, so I got two old people flavors! They're melted, but you can drink them. Who wants Butter Pecan and who wants Rum Raisin?"
Dipper shuffled in behind her, Mabel's enthusiasm waning as she took in the tense atmosphere of the room.
"What's wrong?" she asked hesitantly. "Do you guys not like those flavors?"
Stan turned to look at Ford, who had that pinched look around his eyes again.
"Mabel," Ford said gently. "Maybe you should sit down. We have something to -"
He was interrupted by a scream. Mabel had dropped the ice cream cups on the floor, leaving two splats that Waddles wasted no time in beginning to lick up. Stan sat up quickly in his chair.
"Sweetie, what - " before he could complete his sentence, Mabel had grabbed Why Am I Sweaty? and hurled it through the open kitchen window.
"Die childhood killer, die!" she shrieked. She stood huffing for a few more moments, eyes slightly crazed, before straightening up and looking towards the floor.
"Awwww piggy cream!" she cooed, squatting down to pat Waddles' head.
Dipper was the first to break the silence. "Mabel...what was that?"
She glared at Stan from the floor. "An evil book. Is that why you wanted us out of the house? So you could trap us with that horrible book when we got back?"
"You know that book?" Ford asked.
Mabel shuddered. "Ugh, unfortunately. Why do you even wanna read that thing again? It's not like it's hard to forget. Unless..." she frowned. "Were you...showing it to Grunkle Ford? Grunkle Ford, do you not know where babies come from?"
"No, I am well acquainted with a variety of human and alien reproductive systems." This time it was Stan's turn to shudder.
Ford reddened. "Not like that!"
"Wait, Mabel, you read Why Am I Sweaty?" Dipper asked. He looked to Stan, who was beginning to look green around the gills.
"You're the one I read that to?" Stan asked hoarsely. "But that's...that's not for you! I thought I read that to Dipper, you're telling me that I read that to...What?!"
Mabel slowed her petting of Waddles, beginning to look sheepish. "Well...you didn't know it was me. You thought I was Dipper."
Stan's mouth hung open. "Are you telling me my brain was swiss cheese before the memory gun?"
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh," Dipper groaned, slapping his hand against his head. "That was during the whole carpet thing wasn't it."
Mabel nodded.
"Carpet thing?" Ford asked.
"Yeah," Mabel began to scritch under Waddles' chin. "That carpet from your secret room. It made everybody switch bodies. I was Dipper for awhile and he was me. Soos was Waddles and Waddles was Soos!" Mabel grinned, holding up Waddles to stand on two legs. "Just look at this adorable little former handyman!"
"I was also Waddles," Dipper admitted. "A lot of people were a lot of people. McGucket tried to eat Soos."
Ford frowned. "Soos as Waddles?"
Dipper and Mabel shared a look.
"Never mind all that," Mabel offered, smiling tightly. "Let's talk about why Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford were talking about puberty. Do old people do it twice or something?"
Ford pinched the bridge of his nose. "We weren't talking about puberty, we were talking about a memory Stanley had of discussing puberty with Dipper. Which Dipper thought wasn't real. Now we know why."
Stan raised his hand. "I would now like to pivot the discussion to Ford not leaving his experiments lying around where small children can find them."
"Wait!" Mabel gasped. "Does this mean that Dipper hasn't had the talk yet?" She leapt to her feet. "Because Mom gave me the girl one when we got home last summer! Does this mean I know the girl one and the boy one and Dipper knows none of them?"
Dipper sighed. "Mabel, I've seen nature documentaries."
Mabel whooped. "I know more about something than Dipper! Like, an actual science thing!"
"Mabel, I still know about - "
"Oh yeah?" Mabel reached into her skirt pocket. "Then what's this then?" With a wicked grin she slapped a bright pink wrapper covered in stars onto the kitchen table. Stan slapped his hands over his eyes. Ford's face went slack. Dipper grimaced.
"Mabel...I share a bathroom with you, I know what a pad is."
Ford cleared his throat. "They certainly," he coughed. "They certainly have changed a lot in the past thirty years."
Mabel frowned. "Were the old ones in black and white?"
Stan groaned. "Can we skip ahead to the part where Sixer burns that carpet and we all celebrate that I'm not actually losing my mind?"
Mabel wrapped her arms around Stan, pulling him into a big hug. "Of course! I'll go grab the lighter fluid!" And with that she fled from the room, snatching the pad off the table as she went. Stan lifted his head from his hands and the three Pines men stared at each other awkwardly.
"Well," Ford clapped his hand back on Stan's shoulder. "Another mystery solved."
Dipper nodded. "Sorry to freak you guys out like that. I don't know how I didn't think about the whole 'body swap' thing earlier."
Stan hefted himself up from the table. "No sweat, kid. Er." The three of them turned to the window where Gompers could be seen chomping away at the pages of Why Am I Sweaty?
They turned to each other. A silent agreement was made. Stan grabbed the popsicles out of the freezer and they began to file out of the kitchen, ready to meet Mabel at the fire pit to send that carpet back to Hell where it belonged. If there was anything they'd learned from last summer, it was that some knowledge was best left hidden.
AN: Sequel to this and this! I may or may not manage to get another one done by the end of Stanuary tomorrow (probably not), but either way, thanks for joining me!
#one time at a sleepover my friend gave me a cup full of mango salsa#coca cola#and a crushed up oreo#i imagine that's a bit like what mabel-ade tastes like#once again i know the second i post this i'll notice at least six typos and grammar mistakes#if ya see 'em before i fix 'em#no you didn't#written in honor of my favorite quote in the series#'it all starts with this little guy'#'the pituitary gland!'#'he may be little...but he has BIG PLANS'#i didn't expect mabel to whip out her pad at the end but she never ceases to surprise me#a true feminist#also sorry the keep reading thing is so far down i really had no idea where to put it#gravity falls#stanuary#grunkle stan#stanley pines#stanford pines#grunkle ford#dipper pines#mabel pines#waddles the pig#gompers#carpet diem references#gravity falls fic#my writing#schedule the following
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the way katsuki just IS izuku's first love drives me nutty. like he just had a big ole crush on him with his huge-ass heart eyes and he chased him around with maximum puppy-love smitten energy
#bkdk#bakudeku#izuku chasing after katsuki with the biggest wettest heartiest heart eyes ever and katsuki is like FUCKER IS LOOKING DOWN ON ME HOW DARE YO#like no bby so close he's down BAD for you i can see where there could be some confusion#it just drives me nutty!!! that's his pookie bear bitty baby boy#it just makes every other ship feel so irrelevant bc katsuki is izuku's first love and fiercest#like fr do we think izuku is getting over katsuki especially now#especially after all bakugou has done for him#how many times has bakugou saved him and in so many ways#my headcanon is that izuku's baby puppy love crush faded but never really died#it was always there#and then they're thrust into each other's lives and katsuki starts growing and training with him and izuku is like fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK#and he just keeps falling for him over and over again#izuku sees him standing on the UA island and is like yeah ok i'm never getting over him he's it for me#he's always been it he's always been the one
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