#hes making me so incredibly angry im literally about to cry

[outfoxt]

unforseen issue with watching the emperor's new groove for the first time: I fucking hate kuzco so much I don't know if I can finish the movie

[evie-sturns]

secret - Chris Sturniolo

summary: chris wants to keep your relationship a secret from the fans, which means he is never around as much as he should be. this sparks an argument, where chris suggests that you 'should just leave.'

contains: angst, cocky!chris, crying, fluff, yelling, comforting.

----------------------≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫----------------———

i lay in chris and i's bed, wrapped up comfortably in the thick sheets.

my head snaps up to look at chris as he swings open the door, he walks inside the room wearing a white tanktop and some black sweatpants.

"just gonna go film." he says vaguely before walking out of the room,

"chris- can i come!?" i call out,

"y/n, no. we talked about this" chris sighs, i get up out of bed and walk towards him,

"please- i don't have to be in it, i just haven't seen you for like a week." i say softly, chris shakes his head, practically discarding me.

"i see you every week, ill be gone for about two hours okay?" chris says blankly,

i feel my face grow hot with embarrassment, i feel like im practically begging for chris to want me, even though im his girlfriend. anger courses through my body, pushing me to my breaking point.

"why- why do you not care about me- or anything i have to say!" i raise my voice, pointing my fingers at chris's chest as i glare my eyes.

"you don't scare me y/n." chris chuckles, bringing my finger down from his chest.

"proves my fucking point! right there--!" i yell, chris just stares at me with a smug smile on his face.

"we agreed to keep us a secret-" chris starts, but i cut him off

"we both agreed to keep us a secret from your fans, not everyone else you've ever known! yes- i get it your fans will be mad but you're- your'e-" my voice breaks as i turn away from him

"don't be acting all pissy because i have a job and you don't." he raises his voice at me,

"excuse you?" i almost laugh,

"yeah, get a grip y/n, honestly." chris sighs, grabbing his phone and going to walk out.

"don't fucking leave-" i shout, "you're a horrible person chris-" i say, holding back floods of tears.

"maybe you're just being a sensitive little bitch?" chris says, the regret is prominent on his face as soon as those words leave his mouth.

"you're being- so mean-" my voice breaks, tears rolling down my flushed face.

"then leave- i'm actually done with you're bullshit, please leave." chris raises his voice.

i look up at him, "actually-?" i say through loud sobs,

he hesitates for a second before speaking, "i- i dont know- if you can handle me being popular then leave-"

"your ego is incredible you asshole-" i squeeze out, walking past him.

he grabs my chin and stops me in my tracks, his large hand clasped tight around my small chin. "excuse me?" he looks down at me,

"i'm going to find nick." i sigh loudly,

"no you're not." chris states,

"i thought we were done?" i say with a loud cry, i wipe my tears away quickly.

suddenly matt peeks his head through the door, "everything okay in here?" matt asks with concern clear on his face

“fuck off matt, genuinely.” chris raises his voice,

“dude, you’re making her cry-“ matt points out, his eyes locking with mine.

“and it’s none of your business, fuck off!” chris yells shakily at matt,

matt walks into the room angrily, pushing chris’s shoulder. chris let’s go of my chin, discarding me.

“you want my girl now?” chris almost laughs as he approaches matt,

“she’s literally like my little sister and i’ve known her my whole life- so god forbid i ask if she’s okay after i hear you scream at her through the walls!” matt grows angry,

“y/n can’t understand that the fans can’t know about me and her, that’s literally it- she’s just being ignorant, like always.” chris speaks as though i’m not here,

“sort your shit out chris.” matt mutters, pushing chris backwards before walking out of the room.

“i- i think i’m gonna go to matt’s room.” i whisper, barely audible.

“yeah- go fuck him while you’re at it.” chris says with a petty tone,

i let out a frustrated sigh before pushing his shoulder back with an angry sob.

“pathetic.” chris scoffs, “do it harder-“ he taunts,

i storm out of the room, slamming the door shut behind me with a loud bang.

i swing open the door to matt’s room, he’s sat at the edge of his bed on his phone.

“matt-“ i sniffle, matt looks up at me before standing up,

“hey- hey you okay?” matt asks frantically, his voice soft.

“i think chris just broke up with me-“ my voice breaks, matt wraps his arms around me, pulling me into a hug.

“i’m sure he didn’t, he’s just upset right now, you think?” matt whispers into my hair,

i nod, “you can stay in my room tonight, i’ll get the spare mattress.” he suggests, i nod as tears continue to pour down my face.

“i hate him- ihatehimihatehimihatehim.” i sob, matt rubs my back,

“no you don’t, arguments are normal, it happens.” matt sighs.

“i do- hes so mean to me!” i bury my face into my hands.

“shh- sh it’s okay.” matt says, “are you in your pyjamas?” matt asks,

i nod, “okay- then let’s get out the mattress and you can get to sleep.” matt states.

he lets me go before tugging out the matress from under his bed, he throws a couple of blankets and pillows on it before handing me his pug stuffed animal,

“you want this for tonight?” matt asks with a small laugh, i grab the small pug stuffed animal before flopping down on the mattress on the floor.

matt’s always been like a big brother for me, he’s always cared about me so much.

matt bends down and covers me in the blankets, tucking me in. “try have a good sleep okay?” matt whispers, i nod with a small ‘thank you’.

————-

4:23am

i stir awake slowly, i sit up off the matress and look over at matt who’s fast asleep on the bed beside me.

i stand up before stumbling over to the door swiftly, the need to go to the bathroom is overwhelming.

i slowly creak open matt’s door and step out into the corridor.

my footsteps slap against the cold wood as i yawn loudly

i swing open the door to the bathroom, and i’m met with him.

chris.

he’s sitting on the edge of the bathtub, scrolling on his phone. i turn on the warm light which illuminates the small bathroom.

“oh-“ i whisper, spinning back around and reaching for the door handle.

“no- no please come back-“ chris’s voice wobbles.

he’s wearing spider-man pyjama shorts, the same ones that i teased him for a couple weeks ago.

he’s got a thin white shirt on and his brunette hair is messed up completely, his eyes are bloodshot and swollen along with his puffy lips and pink cheeks.

he stands up, looking down at me. i can see the gears in his brain physically spinning as he tries to think of what to say.

“i-i’m sorry i’m still here- i was gonna pack up in the morning.” i break the silence with a couple deep breaths.

chris’s face drops, he buries his face into his hands with a shake of his head.

“i- i didn’t mean that- i was just so caught up in the heat of the moment and i really- really- don’t want to loose you.” chris starts, his eyes watering

“and i’m so sorry for taking you for granted. i love you more than anything, i love you more than anything ever.” chris’s voice breaks loudly, he goes silent as his body jolts up and down.

“are you crying?” i ask softly, he nods.

i don’t say anything, just wrapping my arms around him, he hugs me back weakly.

he buries his head into my shoulder, his soft hair covers half my face.

“and- i’m sorry for crying i just- don’t want you to think i’m only crying for sympathy i just feel really upset.” chris clarifies, i laugh softly,

“i know sweetheart,” i sigh,

“and— and- you don’t have to forgive me- ever— i said proper mean stuff to you.” chris’s voice trembles,

“i forgive you, i just want my old chris back, yeah?” i rub his back,

“you will get that- forever-“ chris sniffs.

we stand in the cold of the bathroom, his arms holding me tightly now, as though he’s afraid to let me go.

i stroke his hair lightly with my manicured nails,

“chris- i don’t mean to ruin this moment but i really really need to pee- that’s why i came in here—“

-

@sturnsdoll @obvisturns @stupid4sturniolo @meerkatzthings @witchofthehour @rosalierenee43 @gabrielle-brun1 @ilovemymannnnnnnn @sturnioloxlver @buckys-goodgirl @sturniol0s@ilovemymannnnnnnn @chr1sgirl4life @luanetaluenta @sturnsssbow @mattfangirl @luvr4miya @luvtay111 @lolasturniolo @freshloveforthefit @ruedowney @lovingchrissposts @333michelle @h3arts4harry @jamiesturniolo @chrisstopherfilmed @itzdarling @ @daddyslilchickenfingers2 @ev3rgreenxtrees @certifiednatelover @solarsturniolo @mattsenthusiast @yomamaslays4lyfe @peachmels @alinaa131 @pepsiluvr0209 @creamoncreamoncream2 @szobofc @mattscoquette @blahbell668 @sturniolo04 @bitchydragonparadise @sturni0l0 @ratatioulle @sturnsfav @mattsonly @justalittle47 @sunsetsturniolos

@sturniolo04 @similartokayyz @sturnsintrouble @ilovemattsturn @raysmayhem-72 @75sturn @sturniol0s @secret-sturniolo @hfkeclnendmwodne @sturniolosass @gxldenlush @stonermattsgf @101sara @beccaluvschris @oliviasturniolo21 @imwetforyourmom @tylerstacobell @sunsetsturniolos @aliceloveschris @jayz4dayz4 @sassysturniolo2008 @nyktoxs-lover @nathandoesgf @starsturns234 @chrissturnsss s @joemamaaa42069 @sturnthepot @zayyluvz @realuvrrr @livialifesblog @sturnioloblogs @riowritesitall @raysmayhem-72 @sturnsjtop @mattsplaytoy @colorthecosmos444 @idkmanshrugg

[lubrumalis]

konig headcanons! (realistic)

tw: nsfw

all of these are realistic hc! dont expect a normal konig

hes NOT a shy awkward pushover, just because he has social anxiety??? we can see through his voice lines hes a very cocky person and speaks rather agressively

“lets be honest, its better off in my hands.”

i hc that just because konig has social anxiety, he doesn’t express this through bring soft and shy, he expresses it through his bluntness

konig wanted to be a sniper but did not because he couldn’t stand still, has social anxiety, i hc he has some form of adhd

his very cocky and blunt shouting isn’t because hes mean, but he just doesnt wanna be seen as that bullied kid he once was

hes doesnt have horrible EQ, but the kind of guy to be incredibly unfiltered

also, this guy was literally assigned as a human battering ram, you think hes all soft and sweet???😅😅😅

no he won’t get angry or cry if his mask is taken off. just annoyed.

its not actually canon that konig is a colonel (correct me if im wrong, i couldnt find anything on the official wiki) but lets assume hes one anyway

even if he isnt, gets paid well. really well.

private military companies that deploy soldiers in areas of active conflict can pay up to hundreds of thousands for one soldier

considering konigs age (late 30s at least) and skills, probably 400-500k a year.

chose to join the military because he had an obsession with tanks and guns as a kid

a lot of hc’s say hes 6’10. i disagree, simply based off of chances and the fact thats wayyyy too tall for the military

but he was described as a mountain, so id say his height is around 6’5-6’8

very very intimidating. hes tall big and has the mask of an executioner in the 15th century. who wouldn’t be scared?

definitely will say some random german word in a situation where no one else there knows german. he doesn’t give a damn lol

hates americans (thinks theyre all obese, mannerless, and bad at geography)

brings up the most random topics. again i really think konig has adhd.

konig was not good at school and hated it, mainly due to the anxiety and how he couldn’t pay attention

also why he chose the path of a soldier

drinks lots of beer, high alcohol tolerance, this guys a true european.

loves austrian or german food. loves schnitzel and pies.

konigs breakfast is literally sausages, toast, eggs, and sometimes beer

BIG APPETITE. he could eat for 3 people.

a little insecure about his appearance, not confident in his looks :( also why he hid his face

but as he grew older he uses the mask for actual purposes of concealing his identity, he is a special ops soldier after all

kind of a cheapskate. he chose to hide his face with what, polyester? chose a piece of cloth over everything else.

has very conservative beliefs. not to the point where he hates abortion and votes far right, konig is just a little confused about some things certain liberals believe in

pretty political person lmao

not enough info to conclude whether or not konig was abused as a kid tbh

he was definitely miserable for a period in his life. hes in the military living a monotone life, barely any contact with others, and constantly living in fear he’d die

i dont think hes as traumatized as ghost tho🙂🙂

konig appreciates his dna and how it makes him big and tall, but sometimes gets incredibly annoyed at it

mainly because well, he got bullied for itas a kid

because he specializes in hostage rescue a lot of hostages (especially kids) are scared of him and refuse to leave the area with him

takes a lot of convincing 🥲🥲

has a lot of intrusive thoughts

cannot use social media properly

also texts like an old grandpa. uses 😂 and 🤣 unironically.

“Can we have burgers 🍔 tonight🌃?”

probably uses a blackberry or reallyyyyy old iphone

relationship hcs:

konigs voice actor (jim boeven) stated in a livestream that konigs wife would ideally be a mix between maria pedraza (actress) and rachael from blade runner (character from movie).

both are 170cm ish and brunettes

i can actually see that—konig is massive and he probably prefers someone on the tall side

first thing you did that led to your relationship with him? you tolerated him that is. listened to him ranting😃

i can see him with a civilian or someone whos in the military tbh

finds you pretty at first

enjoys bickering, he needs someone to simulate his mind

you know those stories where his s/o is 5’2, clingy, soft af, and neeeeeeeds konig? haha you won’t be getting that from me.

unlike ghost, who really takes his time to get to know someone and opens up slowly, scared to have his trust broken again

konig charges in like the human battering ram he is😁

if he has a feeling you’re trustworthy you are trustworthy.

horrible at flirting. he doesn’t know how to talk to women smoothly

needs someone equally as weird and funny

s/o needs to be someone with very firm boundaries and can stand their ground, i think konigs a really stubborn person, so for a healthy relationship to work, s/o can’t be the generic bimbo

konig wears the pants in the relationship

doesn’t let you pay. he has a enough money and believes men should always pay

(im sorry to break your delusions) konig does not strike to me as someone who likes a docile homebody. thats ghost (if you remove the word docile).

he doesn’t like extremely dominant partners either

imagine someone who is a listener, accepting yet blunt, shares his quirks, and has a very elegant feel to them

also someone very independent

also gonna get killed for this but konig would realistically not go for a girl in her early twenties. he prefers elegance and sophistication over being cute and jumpy

hates one night stands.

values relationships more than you think. he can come off as strong at first, but hes trying his best

ecstatic when you tell him you wanna learn german (hes not a good teacher)

doesn’t like play fighting, he thinks he’s gonna accidentally hurt you

admires you a lot. he knows hes not the best looking person and doesn’t understand the makeup skincare dress up thing.

isn’t paranoid, but definitely doesn’t say he has an s/o

if you ever get mad at him, konig will tighten all jars in the kitchen so you have to ask him for help :)

extremely unfiltered. he hates your cooking? he will say it. that dress looks better than the other? he will say it.

[misc-obeyme]

Ok sorry super late but it's me the solobarb anon and yeah i was mostly talking about the art but i also find the story so silly

but anywyas about the art REOAOASFGFDSHQWHHSS first of all BARBATOS'S SHOULDERS?.$.@"!(1!$+1+"!$ i started to go insane im sure i transformed into a whole another being when i first saw that card i literally spammed my friend with it until she had to BLCOK ME for whole 5 minutes and only unblocked me when i promised to not spam her anymore 💔

AND SOLOMON'S FACE 😭😭😭 HE LOOKS SO CUTE THE LITTLE SCARY HAND POSE TOWARDS BARBATOS ONLY FOR BARBS TO LOOK BACK AG HIM LIKE HE WANTS HIM DEAD 😭😭😭 IM CRYING PLEASE

and yes i agree solobarb is way cuter when they're getting along but also JFDJWDSS angry Barbatos is so funny to me 😭 i was caught so off guard when i started to play nightbringer by the way he talks to solomon, i already shipped them before but nightbringer just made them jump to one of my biggest canon x canon ships in om

i see a lot of ppl theorizing Barbatos was mad at Solomon for another reason and just lied to mc because he doesn't trust them and tbh considering how long it took for him to open up to mc in the og game it's a very believable theory but also Barbatos getting mad at Solomon because he wasn't the first demon Solomon thought to make a pact with is very silly to me i love that part so much

also in the part of the story where mc says they'd like to do both of their ideas and Solomon just says they're greedy 😭😭😭 i hate that man so mMUCH /pos

(also is it just me or Solomon looks like he belongs in evangelion in that card like the art style looks so similar to me....)

Anon, you are not super late lol. If anything, I am the one who is late in responding... alas, I'm still always a day behind on asks...

Anyway, yes, Barb's shoulders which we so rarely get to see~ I am sayin' he looks like a freakin' bride!!

Solomon is always adorable but that funny lil rawr face is incredibly cute lol!!

I suppose you could say Nightbringer allows for them to have an enemies to lovers sort of story... and you could also rewrite the list thing to be a story about Barb feeling jealous in a boyfriend sort of way...

But dearest anon, I'm afraid I am one of those people who has theorized that Barb is lying to MC about his real reason for being mad at Solomon. I think the reason would have been funny if they hadn't made such a huge deal out of it. But Barbatos rarely displays that kind of emotion and to me it just didn't make sense for it to be something so minuscule, even if it is funny. It seems a little more plausible if you look at it through a shipping lens, though. Like if Barbatos really loves Solomon only to find that he only made it eighth on the list? That feels a little more likely to me. But even then, I feel like Barb's just not that dramatic about stuff lol. I could get into this further, but I digress!

Of course, I know a lot of people enjoyed that particular piece of the story and I'm not at all going to say that they shouldn't, so it's all good lol!

Solomon saying MC is greedy made me laugh, too! I was like exCUSE me, but you two can't agree on anything at the moment, what do you want me to do, choose a side!?!? I don't think so! If saying yes to my two faves makes me greedy, then just call me Mammon. >:(

I wish I could tell you if it was just you, but I'm not familiar enough with Evangelion to give you an opinion, I'm afraid. I'm just gonna say that you are probably right and should trust your instincts!!

[johnslittlespoon]

https://www.tumblr.com/hogans-heroes/746685005077544960/the-most-powerful-one-so-far-im-crying

Have you seen this buckbucky edit yet?

BIG OL' MISCELLANEOUS ASK POST!!

1) UNFORTUNATELY (said with love). that edit made me cry like a mf, my soul is too soft for those two to stay dry eyed through stuff like that. but god it was BEAUTIFUL.

2) ohh 100000%. it's in my post–war buckbucky playlist, it fits john's pov so well. it's so angsty, working through mental health issues in the aftermath, learning how to communicate with gale and ask for help when he needs it, just wanting to be by his side 24/7 but feeling undeserving of his love and also being afraid of how much he loves him and how much gale loves him back </3

3) omg no don't be sorry!! i am someone who listens to a little bit of everythinggg don't sweat it. i gave it a listen and YOWCH that hurt wtf?? it does fit bucky in that time so well, our poor sweet boy. :( also i still feel so bad that my only curtbucky fic is an mcd angst one LOL i need to fix that soon <3

4) another one i hadn't heard but nooo it absolutely is. all the angsty pine–y songs fit him so perfectly </3 he just wants to feel someone love him the same way he loves!! but also: 'i know i should be angry, but i can barely feel a fucking thing' is very plane–wing–scene :(

5) NO. NOT FUN. i have such a hard time listening to that song as is but thinking about it with post–war john in mind has literally made it 10x more painful and now this edit 😭 i tried to make an angsty edit to it a few weeks back but i started crying every time LOL phoebe just hurts too damn bad when you pair her with mota stuff. i adore her <3

6) SGDKJG honestly a wild day for us. she cracks me up like no one else <33 but OOO okay so i'm a strange one alright i grew up adoring anything fantasy/sci–fi, ate every novel and movie and show up, but in the past few years i've sort of lost interest in that vibe? which makes me really sad! but i've just been enjoying more slice of life stuff in terms of media i consume.

so i think if dune had come out when i was in like high school, i would've been obsessed, but even if it's not my go to genre, i still thought they were beautiful movies, perfect casts, managed to hold my attention as someone who can barely sit thru movies 99% of the time, the sound design was incredible, 10/10. no complaints.

but listen.... at first i was like "yummy feyd" as a joke. i serious'd very very fast. like i knew i'd be attracted just bc, i mean, c'mon, it's austin lmfaooo, but my brain chemistry was genuinely altered. i haven't like properly fleshed out any au–type of brainrot because i honestly didn't retain enough info about the dune universe (again. i am not a good movie watcher, i do not do well just sitting down and paying attention to one thing for three hours lol) but i do think some sort of crossover where john is in the dune world would be interesting!

let's be real, most of us would probably just wanna see john and feyd fuck nasty so. not sure it needs much elaborating on LMFAO and i'd be surprised if someone doesn't end up writing a fic like that– wouldn't be surprised if there already are some!

[wrongcaitlyn]

OKAY SO OW.

will got a little too real in this chapter 😍

THE ANGST THE ANGST AND THE WILL AND APOLLO FLUFF AND NICO BEING ANGRY/WORRIED AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

literally such a good chapter no i didn’t cry haha what are you speaking of????

so besides all of the sadness i have a very strange question but i overthink everything 😭 so sorry abt that, but i was just wondering cause i know nico has changed lyrics in his songs vrs the ones that are the actual irl songs (haunted having the “cause in your ghost right now your house is haunted” lyric instead of the regular ones) (plz tell me i’m remembering right) and this is actually such a nieche thing to think about but my question is because so many songs use the pet name “baby” in them and nico doesn’t seem like the type to use that (do they even have any nicknames for each other in tyt?) so. would he. a somehow just avoid it. b. use a different pet name c. i need to stop overthinking things because the original lyrics don’t all adhere to his songs. d. a secret fourth thing???

hopefully that makes at least some sense!

ty for another great chapter can’t wait until next week :D

HSJSJ im so glad you liked it bc it was an absolute horror to write!! yk sometimes you’ve got those scenes that you know have to happen, and they have to be written *perfectly* and so then you just stare at the doc for hours trying to figure out how the characters work

but on to the question! oh god. this is hard. see the thing is: i think it WOULD be in character for nico to say baby. i think he also says tesoro like in canon, and definitely sunshine, and maybe darling?

the thing is. i, personally, as a person, have a visceral HATRED of the word. and of pet names/nicknames in general. i don’t mind it in music, but whenever i try and write it into the fic, i just cringe and automatically backspace (this has absolutely nothing to do with people who actually use it as a term of endearment i just don’t know how to write it in without it sounding incredibly awkward or out of character)

so honestly, though, i think that nico is chill abt using it in a song, bc i feel like music honestly uses it more as filler? like, if you need to add a persons name, you’re obviously not gonna say their name (unless the song is hey stephen) so they just add in a pet name - most commonly baby

and i don’t think nico would have anything against that - id probably have to look through the playlists to see just how many times songs use the word, but i don’t think it’s that often

anyway my answer is that yes nico uses the word, i think that will started calling him babe at some point and nico just started using baby too but it’s much more rare and likely when he’s very tired/trying to convince will to do something (such as not work)

i think he prefers using something like darling in his songs (or maybe i’ve just been listening to too much hozier but that’s neither here nor there) but he doesn’t stray away from using the word if it fits well

and he probably uses more terms of endearment in real life than i’ve included (though will def uses them more often, and nico probably refrains from using pet names in front of other ppl) but i just hate writing them so much im sorry😭😭😭😭 i CANT i swear i tried to include a babe at some point in talk your talk and a sunshine but like the only thing slightly close to that that i ever left in a final draft was neeks. i can’t write pet names unless they’re said in a sarcastic or insulting mannerHSJDJ

thank you for the ask!!

[bellysoupset]

SOUP!!!!!!!

HI HI HI HI I CANT EXPLAIN HOW HAPPY I AM THAT YOURE BACK!!! oh my goodness i was literally typing this when i saw that you asked where i’ve been💀 i’ve been reading fics as you post them (i don’t have notifs on but i check your blog for updates on a regular basis LMAO) but life shtuff has only now died down enough for me to actually write/comment on things!! gosh i’m so excited you’re back!! in the LEAST pressure-y way, it’s almost embarrassing how slowly days went by as i was waiting for you to start posting again LOL like at one point i was telling myself “okay she said 20 days, it’s probably been at least a week”. it had been literally 3 days 💀 HAHAHAHWH

ANYWAYS

AHHHHHH MY BABIES MY BABIES!!!!! i don’t remember what the last thing i talked about on here was but WOW these last fics have made me cry and laugh and blush sooo many different times!! wen finding out was CRAZY and i literally sobbed w her bc the way everything played out was so unfortunate but also so realistic and raw and i had so many mixed feelings about everything!!!! and then wen isolating and bella checking on her!! and wen trying to push her away and then admitting that she felt so lonely GOD THAT WAS DEVASTATING but then bella being so supportive and comforting AGHHHH my girlsss <3333

and then omg the fic after that one??? i was SO surprised that wen forgave vin? and that they’re trying long distance??? i’m so fucking excited and happy abt that but god i’m sure it’ll be hard 😭 but YAY I KNEW THEY LOVED EACH OTHER TOO MUCH TO GIVE UP LIKE THAT ♥️

side note, luke being so depressed and struggling so much to adapt to his meds is so sad but so realistic too :,) i’m glad you’re making this a part of the plot!! but my man is def off his meds already lol im interested to see where this goes!! and also i LOVE how well jon and leo are doing <3 despite everything going on, they’re in their happy era fr <3

and now i’m sorry but the sick vin fic?????????? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IT WAS EVERYTHING I NEEDED AND MORE‼️ first off, leo talking to him and being so real but also like calling him out like that??? while still being super supportive??? and the way he described wen was so accurate and so him-coded??? and then AHHHHH i’ve ALWAYS loved vin and bell’s friendship, i’ve genuinely always thought it was super adorable and i wanted more of them, so this fic was gold 🤭 a trope that ALWAYS gets me is when someone is ANGRY at someone they love and ofc being bitchy and sassy until they realise said someone is very much Unwell (it’s especially good if they’re so sick that they’re really out of it), and when they realise how sick they are they IMMEDIATELY switch from mad to concerned + caretaker mode!!!! so yeah you can imagine this whole fic had me on my knees 🤭 obsessed w how protective of luke bell is, and how protective of vin wen is, but also how both girls just jumped straight into action when he was clearly not feeling good <333 and then vin realising wen was using her dr. voice, and then the pure ANGST at the end when he sobs and they just hug and the “god i’m gonna fucking miss you” SOB SOB SOB SOB 😭😭😭🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

bell sick and luke taking care of her was also AMAZINGGGG🫶🏽 i always love when my girls get whumped <3333 omg and AHHHH luke and vin finally talking abt shtuff🥹 the “nothing to forgive” 😭 luke knowing he’ll get sick AND holding him closer??? GOSH THE BROTP MAN !!!!!

and oh my goodness i just read the most recent fic with the new OC!!!! this is so exciting and cool and i love his vibes ahhhh <3 i love how nonchalant max seems abt shtuff and im so so excited to see where things go!! i hope vin and him become friends but also i feel like there’s gonna be some tension and weird banter going on between them at least at first hehehe

ANYWAYS

your writing is fucking incredible and whenever i see a new post from your blog it genuinely lights up my day <3 i am completely in love with all your characters and the depth and intricacies behind each of them ♥️ i’m so thankful your blog exists🫶🏽 also, i saw you were really struggling for a while and i just wanted to check in and see if you were doing better? you’re so loved and talented and appreciated and you deserve all the peace and love and happiness in the world!!! i hope things are going well/better!

i can’t wait to read more of what you write! i’m super excited about this new character and about reading more stories abt your lovely OCs <3

YOU’RE AMAZING THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING AND KEEP SLAYING!!!

🦦

Soup found DEAD from love cardiac arrest outside of Miami beach.

🦦!!!!! Honestly I don't even wanna post your comments, I just wanna stare at them for hours 🙈🙈

Don't worry about catching up on fics, they'll be here when life slows down!! I know very well how sad it is that we must Adult ™.

I am SO HAPPY you liked the Wendy/Vince developments!! In my head you're like THE Wendy/Vin supporter, so every time I write something with them I'm like "uhmmm wonder what 🦦 is gonna think??"

Caretaker who's pissed and then switches to comfort is also one of my favorite tropes, I looooove the spiciness of guilt thrown in!

Take care babe 💛💛

[craw-dacious]

Thats the art of getting by, by sarewolf

Again, new to marauders. This fic 3 that I’ve read. Feel free to shoot me recs, currently looking for ~100,000 word fic with a good angst balance and no major character death.

Summary: Overall this story was INCREDIBLE. I loved the writing style, such a good amount of angst, and an easy to follow narrative. It raised Harry like exactly how I wanted and was so cutey and sweetly and UGH

SPOILERS BELOW BEWARE

Chapter one

I already like the opening quote. Can tell the writing is going to be good.

God the angst is already great

He’s only 24 wild

I kind of forgot just how much he lost that night, like all of his closest friends were dead. Even in canon, with no world star this probably sucks the worst for Lupin.

Okay I’m actually crying already

I’ve been wanting a babyfic since the first one I read

This is such a hard thing to do, parenting is hard without the trauma and sob storying

Chapter two

I wonder how they are going to reincorporate Sirius

And I’m concerned about Harry’s quietness, I feel like that’s not consistent with who he grows up to be

Hoping for some baby Ron and harry content eventually 

I never give Kudos until the end of the fic, this is incredible and I absolutely adore it already

Literally crying from how sad Remus is Jesus

Chapter three

YES love old lady gossip

Neris is so cute delicious

Plus Harry is opening up a lot, so far very happy chapter!

So gay bruh

HARRY BEING SAD TOO IS KILLING ME JUST A BABY FR

This is actually fucking INFURIATING him being like “Sirius never loved us” like BRO I know you’re being LIED TO but I CANNOT HANDLE IT TOO SAD

Chapter four

Now I need to be a depressed widow with a three year old son who loves me

Like I think just having a child would patch my soul

This is actually the cutest thing ever love love love

I think me and remus lupin are the same person

Like gay traumatized werewolf = teenaged girl

“Oh the memories, oh the love” SO ME

YES RON AND HARRY BEST FRIENDS IM GONNA SOB

Damn he’s in love with Sirius fr fr

Can tell this is a shift, so gonna do a small recap

Wonderful characterization

Remus kind of being forced to push forward is great narratively, a little concerned about how it will work with pacing

They write Harry very well, not annoying as children can often be in fic

Chapter five

This is what I wanted, you see James and Lily in harry and remus is just thoughtful and reflective enough to show the audience the importance of this its just MWAH

Oh my god

Baby trauma. He’s so cute and being such a little bitch

Literally so sad, like remus is such a better parent than the Dursleys could ever be but him knowing what harry had makes it sad

If I have to read “angry fucks” again im gonna lose it, say sex please, at least sometimes

YES HE’S FREEEE

Chapter six

God this sucks, like I know they aren’t truly in danger but the emotional turmoil goes crazy

3 chapters till we get Sirius saying it now

Cannot understate how much remus’s pining and distraught connects to me

Like I can tell they were in love but SO TOXIC which, again, is teenage girl core

Not to diminish the relationship, I think the way teenage girls evaluate breakups and romance is like peak human condition and is incredibly poignant amidst the issues of war and death and loss.

YES FUCK YES HELL YEAH INNOCENT INNOCENT INNOCENTTTTTT FUCK PETER HATE THAT SON OF A BITCH

Chapter seven

UGH I know I said fuck Peter but this still sucks ass

When do I get to see Sirius. Ik I said 3 chapters but I didn’t mean it

Damn Petes evil as fuck

The justice in him being DECLARED innocent is so beautiful. I wish that could’ve happened in the books, he died being known as a shitty, terrible human being

Chapter eight

Ok skip this shit and jump to the gay sex I do not want a flashback rn I need TEARS

Jk obviously its important and builds suspense, well written two with good symbolism

Fuck fuck fuck fuck just kiss please I need them to kiss please

Like I actually cannot watch them be fucking roommates ill vomit

Sobbing sobbing sobbing “I hope not” Jesus fucking christ let me suck the authors dick I love this sm

Chapter nine

Just taking in the idea that both Sirius and Harry see each other as a replacement for James in the books, that is such a beautiful like concept with such horrible influences on how they treat each other and I really want to see how its reconciled here, if its relevant at all

Harry with his two dads that barely speak to each other

I do need reconciliation but making sure the weight of tragedy is like there also seems important

But also, please, just fuck already

Chapter ten

Ok remus time to put your big boy pants on and apologize

Like actually nothing will fix itself until you say sorry man

“He’s pack” BRUH harry

Pls having to tell everyone you’re living with this famous not-criminal is so funny I actually am losing it

Pls just be nice to each other for once bruh

Yay!! Nice!!

They’re so like fucked up its messy brother

Chapter eleven

THIS IS SO CUTE IM GONNA KMS

The dog plushie, the memory album, literally everything god I love Christmas

Omfg. Sweater. Sobbing.

AND HITTING ME WITH ANGST AT THE END. This is such a good joy-depression balance

Like its SO SO SAD like irrevocably depressing and filled with grief but also like LIFE and CHILDHOOD and JOY and bruuuhh

Chapter twelve

evil

Chapter fourteen

Basically skipped twelve and thirteen

Jesus Christ

That was gay sex fs

The dementors kiss scene was fucking heart breaking, like devastatingly sad but obviously Peter deserved it

Actually idk, soullessness is so horrific

Then THE KISS and the SEX and everything it was so raw and good and Jesus fucking christ

I want to have sex with eric again bruh

Just so sad, and so happy at the end with the talk of learning to live with it and just UGH amazing I love it

Literally cannot think of a critique atm, im sure ill have some at the end though

FULL RECAP

Yes I know I skipped 16 and 17 and I'm sorry.

Overall this story was INCREDIBLE. I loved the writing style, such a good amount of angst, and an easy to follow narrative. It raised Harry like exactly how I wanted and was so cutey and sweetly and UGH. I will say I wish there was more to the plot than “everyone is sad and trying to not be anymore”While that is a completely reasonable story, it does make it a little boring. But because this fic is fairly short it works out alright. My only true criticism is going to be on the pacing. I am not sure at all when Harry and Remus were introduced to each other, or how far after that Sirius came into their lives. I also think Harry and Sirius’ connection, while amazing, was a bit unrealistic at the beginning. For a child with this much past to IMMEDIATELY latch onto someone like this is kinda wild, but it works for the story so no big deal honestly. I think characterizations were good, not great. However, this is a situation we haven’t seen marauders in and I’m not super familiar with how marauders are usually characterized outside of reading the books and watching movies, so I’d reevaluate characterization stuff once im more engrossed in the fandom.

This is something I just thought about while adding tags, having moody in this fic was nice. He's a character I'd like to see more out of what I've read so far in marauders

9/10, truly loved this one

[a-very-moist-crayon]

MAJOR FNAF MOVIE SPOILERS, JUST GETTING SOME THOUGHTS OUT BC IM GOING INSANE

I wasn't sure about it at first, but the more I think ab it, the more I actually really love the whole "Vanessa being Afton's daughter" thing???

I mean, it was basically clued in from the moment she turned up-she had a knowledge of the pizzeria and a love for it. She knew of the history and its happenings, she knew what springlocks were and was clearly letting on more than she said. She was always concerned ab Abby's safety, to the point where she literally threatened to shoot Mike if he brought her around the pizzeria again. It was all so obvious, and yet I never even put two and two together until after the movie.

When the two of them (Mike and Vanessa) are both sitting near the river/creek/whatever the hell it is, the camera lingers on her as Mike talks ab what he and his family did before all went to hell. You just know exactly what she's thinking.

The reveal, god the reveal. Not even just the reveal that her father was Afton, the reveal of that the kids' bodies were inside the animatronics. Of course she would know-she's a cop, and she knows her father better than anyone else. The screaming of children as the camera shows each of the animatronics is simply so haunting.

The shots of her staring at the childrens' drawings, that's when you see the tragedy and devastation of all that's happened really hit her. It's all dawning on her, something she's ignored and locked away, it's all coming to light and hitting her.

Then the reunion. The reunion of a sick man and his daughter. She's been covering his horrific misdeeds for years now, still loyal to him as most children are to their parents, but seeing the bond between Mike and Abby and the toll Garrett's kidnapping has taken on Mike, she stands up to him.

As he turns around she grabs his arm, determined to not let him take another child's life.

And he stabs her.

And all she can do it whisper "dad", then fall to the ground.

But Matthew Lillard does smth absolutely amazing-he has a very small look of regret and remorse, before snapping back to what he was doing. But that look of regret, the look of a father realizing he just stabbed his own daughter before going back to his original plan-it's haunting.

Even though he was angry at her for her lies, her relationship to the man who took his brother, and everything in between, Mike still gets her up and to a hospital.

Mike visiting her in the hospital is heartbreaking. He can only hold her hand and hope she gets better. Abby-who has formed an almost sisterlike relationship with Vanessa-asks Mike if he told Vanessa hi for her. (Fuck I'm gonna start crying if I keep talking ab it)

I wasn't sure ab not having Mike be William's child at first. But seeing this and really thinking ab it, I think making Vanessa his daughter was a great choice. I really hope Vanessa comes back for the almost-nearly-guaranteed sequel. I have a very good feeling that she will (I mean she's basically the Michael Afton of this iteration) but either way I need her back.

There's so much I can say ab this movie as it was absolutely incredible, but this dichotomy of Vanessa and William and the tolls that William's actions have taken on Mike truly stuck out to me.

Anyway Vanessa is the character of the FNAF movie and I love her and I support both her rights and her wrongs. Elizabeth Lail you are amazing and ACAB for everyone except for Vanessa and Judy Hopps

(Also that part after Foxy is hunting Abby and Vanessa pulls Abby out of the ballpit into a hug, relieved that nothing has happened to her? Heartwarming af)

[evansbby]

all of part 1 aas my favourite i think because it was the most emotional for me personally.

*im so sorry this is so long i’m just really passionate about poyt5*

Anyway my specific favourite scene of part1 was defo steve’s fight with peter and the aftermath I think because it was so interesting seeing Steve battle with his emotions.Throughout poyt he’s always been so strong and confident and it was really exciting to see him confused and vulnerable.I was so glad Steve automatically assumed it was Peter who initiated the joss and beat the shit out of him because i was worried he would be angry with Omega like how he was when he saw her with Sam in poyt4.It also was so intense watching it all play out and i don’t know how to describe it but it was almost satisfying I guess to finally see Steve lose control(I know that sounds weird but i was literally like “beat his ass steve!”throught the fight)Also Omega absolutely slayed when she spoke up to tell Steve that she wouldn’t forgive him if he killed Peter.I felt like a proud parent.

OMG and when Peter have that big speech??!! I was so shocked I wasn’t expecting it at all(because he was on the brink of death i didn’t think he would’ve had the nerve LOL).And Steves reaction top it all oh my god.Again throughout poyt we’ve only really seen the confident side of steve (apart from poyt4)that’s so sure of himself and it was so refreshing to watch him physically battle his emotions.Also Steve having a panic attack?!?! wasn’t expecting that. Once again loved it because it was so different to the steve were used to seeing AND the way omega comforted him!!I was so proud of her,because that was the first time we’d seen her initiate any physical intimacy because normally she’s too shy!!That was so cute I literally felt my heart melting and when they sat there hugging eachother UGH LOVED IT!!!!!

It also made me giggle when Steve made Omega play that stupid game so he could justify asking her if she loved Peter,he’s so silly.

Now onto the part with Omegas Mom BECAUSE OH MY FUCKING GOD I WASNT EXPECTING THAT.Bestie I’m a sensitive girlie who cries easy you CANNOT do that to me without a warning!!! I was crying so hard bro even after I’d finished reading, as I was trying to fall asleep I was still crying feeling so bad for Omega.I cannot believe the nerve of that woman, she leaves her daughter with a letter she might not have even seen?!? and then attempts to justify her actions by saying “you could always look after yourself better than I ever could”. EXCUSE ME?!?!THATS BECAUSE YOU MADE HER HAVE TO LOOK AFTER HERSELF.Yeah that whole scene at her childhood home was incredibly emotional especially when she mentioned seeing the ghost of her younger self and started screaming after reading the letter(I’m literally tearing up as I type this)I loved steve’s reaction and when he said “we’ll be each-other’s homes”.That was such a beautiful full-circle moment because in the beginning he uses her relationship with her mom to manipulate her into being with him and instead this time he actually tries to comfort her instead of making her feel bad about it.God when she mentioned she’d wanted to die my heart shattered, poor Omega she’s so strong, but I was very proud of Steve I think he did a good job at comforting her.

Another thing I loved that wasn’t a part of part 1 was when they figured out that Steve got her pregnant the first time they got together and he was like “Well you see I told her doctor…” I laughed so hard it was so funny to his old cocky self appear for a moment. OH and when she kissed him and he was like “two months ago you could barley look at me let alone kiss me” I was blushing so hard I genuinely loved that bit like i know it’s a small moment but those are always my favourite. I don’t know how to describe it I was smiling so hard and just felt really warm inside and i was so proud of Omega because of how far she’s come and everything she’s been through.

-⚡️

Thank you so so much for reading!!!

Steve’s panic attack scene was definitely something that I wanted to write since the beginning when I was first thinking about this chapter! I don’t know if I did it justice but I really tried to just write down what I personally felt when I have had panic attacks in the past! It was a bit of a struggle to write that scene bc I didn’t know if I was conveying it well enough! I just wanted to show his slow breakdown at Peter’s words bc you’d never expect an alpha like him to be so affected by Peter’s words.

On to omega’s mom’s letter… I wanted to try and convey like… a nonchalant type of air to it?? Also I love how you mentioned how Steve in the past literally used her lack of a relationship with her mom to manipulate her and now he’s the one comforting her… bc omfg I honestly didn’t even notice that parallel??? But it’s so true!!! It really shows how Steve did change a lot from the guy we first saw!!

And LMFAOOO Steve during the ultrasound appointment 😂😂 just being his smug self. I wouldn’t say that’s his “old” self bc he’s still like that! He’ll always be like that hahaha. Also when he was being awkward with the doctor all like “she’s pregnant so do your thing…” BAHAHAHA (not me chucking at my own shit hahaha)

And you’re right, all the little moments between them were heartwarming and I’m glad you liked those. I tried to sprinkle them throughout the fic bc I wanted to make y’all smile through your tears lol

ily bestie thanks for this fab review!! 🥰💜

[thatonegaybastard]

SCREAMS

in tired but I dont want to sleep

literature class suxksidont want to go

hes xonstantky ywkling at the top of his lungs so much thatvyou can hear him from the other classes.

today we started mdmorizing a knew poem and the teacher nprmally do it is making the class recite it at the beginning of each class (we have two classes with him) and if we mess up somehow like we forget exactly one word or sutmble on a word then he makes its start that line over until we get it right (incredibly frustrating. he doess this kind of stuff during class too when were reading something he reads the sentences and to make sure we're paying attwnrion sometimes he stops on a aord and has the whole class say it and sometimes its really unckear when he eants us ro say it. sometimes everyone in the class ssys it loud snd clear but he keeps making us bbc.co do it sgain for whatever reason and just hearing him say the same thing iver and over is really annoying)

apparently lately the class has been lakcing in spirit or something because he keeps asking us whats wrong when we're not eutnhiastic about answering his auestions (because I dont think anybody likes his class) and the way he says it just. bothers me. I do t know why i cant tell if hes actually concerned or not but if hes actually cpncerned gave you considered maybe students dont like listening to you shoutat the top of your lungs and constantly make us say the same thing over and over.

this doesnt happen oftwn but sometimeswhen we stary aomehting he assigns and it seems were not overjoye dabot it or something I sobt know what he wants from us he mocks us and is like "ohhh boohoooo I dont aanna doo the wooooork!" nobody even said anything please shut up ypure not being funny youre just being mean.

today in ourbsecond classs with him we were reciting the peom and we g ok t like halfway through it and we barely slupped up and he made us star t over!!!# completely!!!!#!# he never does that!!!!!!!!!!!! and then even though eve ft one was syaing the lines loud and clear as far as I could tell LITERALLY EVERY LINE HE MADE US START IT OVER AND ON LIKE THE LAST LINE OR SOEMTHING HE WAS LIKE "Um erre gonna do the poem again" AND HES NEVER THIS FUSSY LIKE HES FUSSY BUT NOT THIS FUSSY

I got frustrated and said "What?!" which is like the lourdest ive ever talked in any class this year and he looked at me and it felt like i got etabbed in the heart or soemthing because I accidentally made bim angry I fucked up very badly oh fuck! and then he looked away and started shouting at the entiree class and he was very angry and it and then immediately after he wss done shouting at us he went back to his normla cheery obnoxious loud voice and continued the lessob like nothing happened. i literally almost cried because he just yelled at the whole class its my fault he got mad and it reminded me of bad memories. and I spent the rest of the class trying not to cry and when it seemed I was about to calm down fully my brian would go off on a tangent of the worst cade scenario of me getting in mpre trouble and I almost cried again. nobody noticed somehow!

im so tired lf this teacher

[bexisanidiot]

Me randomly remembering that Bee during any form of psychotic episode (like PTSD for example) is fucking horrible.

Someone has probably died because they got too close to her during a PTSD episode. Even if they were trying to help. She might've unintentionally hurt Quiet before.

This can also be an example that psychotic episodes can vary, and it's not always just eating ice cream while crying with messy hair in bed.

Bee isn't a normal stereotypical mentally ill person. When she has episodes like a PTSD episode people get fucking hurt when they're in arms length of her, Mantis probably learned that the hard way himself and they probably eventually talked about it or he accepted it maybe cuz he understood that that is a moment where Bee is mentally vulnerable, her adrenaline is spiked, and she's incredibly on edge so she's basically feral in a way(???)

No, im not saying it's okay to hurt people, and she's know that too but usually when you're in a bad state of mind you don't really think it through (depending how bad it is) and her reaction to anyone getting close to her is usually violence.

Personally (and for example), I can get super violent when I'm upset or simply just overstimulated. I haven't killed anything, but I have hurt a friend or two because of a minor inconvenience that happened when I was already angry and heavily overstimulated. Yes, I know that's bad, and I feel bad because I did that. I am making trying my best not to do that.

Anyways, I might hear, "But Bex, that's a little extreme if she does that out of PTSD!😨😨" Everyone's episodes are different, of course. But you gotta consider the fact that Bee is literally a war veteran both as both a victim and a soldier. She had a kid against her will at 14 or 15 and that kid was stripped away from her before she could even hold it. She suffered a lot from just Vietnam on its own. Her body is COVERED in scars such as burns, cuts, stab wounds, and gunshot wounds. She's been through so much before she was even 35, she is not okay

[blackvail22]

9/22/23 — 1:20am

i hate wanting to be productive in the middle of the night. i was tired all day tdy, and now i just want to do something productive. no!!! i work earlier than usual tomorrow!!!!

im doing my skincare now... i wore makeup tdy so i have no choice but to do it 🤯

im tired still but i dont want to sleep. i feel like i havent been productive enough tdy even though i went to 3 different appointments and within the 2 hours before work i cleaned my bathroom sink (that was incredibly disgusting, i am not exaggerating. no one has cleaned it in like a little over a year. my dad shaves his face there whenever it gets like 5 inches long and doesnt clean the hair out of the sink/on the counter. its gross.), made ramen (it wasnt v good).... at work i walked around almost the whole 6 hours. my feet hurt so!! bad!! after i work. it happens every time. it doesnt help that when i fell down my stairs, my "sprained" foot didnt heal properly. i also hurt my hand at work and have not seen a doctor .... im ngl im like a mess and if i tell anyone abt this theyll tell me its because im fat and need to lose weight WE GET IT. I KNOW. IM TRYING, AND JUST BECAUSE I AM DOESNT MEAN THAT I CANT HAVE SMTH WRONG WITH ME?????

anyways

im tired. like mentally and physically. i had counseling tdy and i told her everything and the time still wasnt full. she shared some things abt her life recently... still didnt fill the time. she didnt respond much at all, but she's grieving, so i understand

im not telling anyone except u and my digital diary about my situation with my ex... i need to stop complaining to people abt him and making it everyones problem when its really my fault i keep letting him back in my life. its bad! ive literally had dreams where he did that *thing* but like in an extremely worse way, and i told myself that i just had to live with it, that i have to get used to it. and, i mean, i guess i do... if i can *** ***** then he can do whatever.

im not even with him... just flirting heavily. he picks up on it, i think so, anyway....

im tired

i saw that u updated ur music playlist you sent to me recently ! so heres a song for u in return

2:51am

idk why it pisses me off so bad but when b says shes ugly it makes me so angry. "why cant i be like the pretty girls?" she is the definition of a pretty girl... she may not see it because people were mean to her growing up but its like... ive cried SO much because of how pretty she is. my parents call her the pretty girl, people at school say shes pretty all the time... it just makes me so upset that someone as pretty as her cant see it. and i wish she could, honestly.

and i hate that this makes me so angry. i have so much envy that it rips me apart every second of the day, and i hate it!!!!! im the fat, ugly friend, and i always felt bad for her being friends with me. she says that im one of the prettiest ppl she knows.... if that were true, would she have deleted all the photos of me off of her phone? who knows. and the fact that people compliment her all the time at school and in public should say A LOT about how pretty she is. it happens all the time! and i mean all the time. maybe she doesnt think it was genuine or she forgets? idk... i think the last time a stranger complimented my appearance was a year and a half ago at a taco bell drive thru. the last time i was called pretty (besides when my mom says it) was at leastt 6 months ago. im like distraught because she is literally so beautiful fuck

this is going to make me cry myself to sleep because i cant say any of this to her because this is really just unhealthy of me, like the envy and making me seem like the victim. it just makes me so upset that everyone thinks shes pretty but herself

yeah im def crying myself to sleep gn i work in 11hrs which sounds like a long time from now but i havent slept yet lol

3:16am

ok i lied i messaged her and said "i saw you commented "i wish i was one of the pretty girls" on a tiktok, and i really need you to know that you are the pretty girl. youre so incredibly beautiful not only on the outside but the inside too... it can be rare to find someone like that. i hope youre able to see yourself through my eyes someday and see yourself for what you truly are—beautiful"

i hope it doesnt come off weird

ok i cried and messaged her i should rlly just sleep now

[evandorepart2]

ok deleted this on my main cause that was a bit Too personal. but i am literally such an angry and petty person. i get upset sooo much like about stupid things. if anything does Not go my way or the way i specifically planned it to go i will lose my mind. i was called a crybaby a lot in elementary cause its fucking true lol i get upset very very easily and this can make me be very mean.

HOWEVER. this is deflected with my ability to Not hold onto any emotions longer than a few minutes. so i can just. Leave. i can go on a walk or do whatever and then im fine. i have poor impulse control but enough sense to just. do ofher stuff when i start getting upset. so im not one of Those people online whod respond to smth with like an entire essay and get needlessly upset whatever before pulling the guilt trip thing cause they want sympathy. i Could be. very close to being. but i am self aware

theres no real point to this just now i am sitting here shaking like an agitated chihuahua opening and closing my hands so i dont snap

i lied. im talking more LOL but also its like at the same time i cant just. Talk with people about why im upset because then thats gonna make me even More upset and im not great with communicating so people misunderstand what im tryinf to say which upsets me More. and while i cry a lot when that happens i also like. get physically angry. like i want to yell and throw things around but i cant do rhat cause then im being like my mum

its hard to grapple as someone who expresses and feels (like. mentally feels. emofions happen but i only am aware ro a limited degree) very little how Angry i can be. like my best friend has anger issues (tho hes gotten help for that), my cousin has anger issues and severe adhd, my mother is bipolar. so like im surrounded with people who experience that stuff but there was always just a degree of seperation when it came to me. like an outward and inward perception that doesnt match wtf is going on inside.

idk! idk. it feels weird talking abt it cause like the degrees ive gotten to curate my life to Prevent that from happening. like an unconscious choice to stop myself from being super upset by cuttinf people off or dropping out of school or being very limited in my online engagement with people or my interests. cause nothing good happens when youre angry i know that cause i grew up in it.

that being said i am tryinf very very hard not to be petty and mean about stuff i see on tumblr but certain constant trends are Incredibly upsetting me and i am two steps away from snapping. thank god i have limited followers so i can snap into the void in peace but still.

[awstens-vagina]

omg letsgo (you may have meant dm it to you but I'm reblogging so everyone can see me being obsessed on main lol hopefully that's okay)

thats more than okay :) the world must know about Peterick femslash

-ok ok ok the way she goes from being like "trish isn't the prettiest thing ever but maybe she's got talent idk" to literally having her brain just do a flustered keysmash every time trish walked in the room 👌👌👌👌👌😭😭😭

yeah and when it says "Pete doesn’t really do chubby but hey, there’s a first time for everything" and then Pete immediately becomes head over heels

-WHEN THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT THE GIRLS THEY LIKE AND PETE IS LIKE 'YEAH WELL I LIKE THIS GIRL NAMED PATRICIA SHE'S FIVE FOOT ONE' HELP ME

to her face too and Trish still doesnt get it lmao

-Joe is a little bitch (affectionate)

who among us isnt

-i love that they're all genderswapped except for Joe LMAO author was like nah this one's good

im kinda suprised the author made Andy a girl, out of all of them hes the hardest one to imagine as a girl (mostly because of the beard)

-i know this is a weird part to like but when pete goes into her room again after the fight and trish just INSTANTLY punches her in the eye 😂 i love her

with her cat-like reflexes

-"you have to tell me you're serious because i won't ever be the same if you're not" WHAM

ougghhhhh

-LOVE FEELS LIKE KEYS IN THE IGNITION AND COMING HOME

that line would make such an incredible song lyric. or tattoo

AGGH anyway thanks for sending it to me I am forever an altered man because of it, tell me your favorite parts!!

i loved this scene:

“I don’t know, Trishy, it seemed to make you a little more confident! Or maybe you were just excited? What color panties did you think I was wearing? You remembered I don’t wear a bra, right?” Pete pokes, wrapping her arm around Trish as they walk outside to get a breath of fresh air. It lasts all of three seconds before Trish smacks her hand and steps firmly away, predictable, but those three seconds are pretty cool.

“I didn’t picture you naked. You already don’t leave much to the imagination,” Trish says. She’s not wrong, but Pete thinks she’s kind of a bitch for putting it like that. She wants to stay angry at Trish, but then she thinks about Trish staring her down in her mini skirts and tank tops, deciding that Pete’s maybe a bit of a slut, and all is forgiven. Trish can think whatever she wants as long as Pete knows she’s looking.

telling Trish to imagine her naked save for her panties and wanting Trish's eyes all over her but not caring if Trish thinks shes a slut... so good

and "Joe moves his hands in a scissoring motion" made me laugh

Trish undermines her rumor-squashing efforts when she opens her pretty little mouth and says, “Nothing much. We played Smash for a while. Then we slept together.” [...] Her cheeks are a little red, like she knows she probably said something inappropriate on accident, but Pete knows her well enough to know that she’s probably thought of the phrase “slept together” innocently for her entire life.

screaming crying wailing throwing up etc. Shes so innocent and doe-eyed

and the ending was so good too:

She’s read about the afterlife, yes, but having been so loved and loving so much in return, Pete decides for the first time that she has really lived.

THE FIC WAS SO GOOD HOLY SHIT

THANK YOU

I KNOW!!! THERE ARE SO MANY GOOD LINES AND SCENES IN IT!!!!

tell me your favorite parts because i gotta talk about it so bad

[doebt]

i get so angry sometimes that i cant make anyone in my life understand how hard it is to be motherless