#hes just the biggest fucking weeb

[jordoperson]

so guess who fucking called it.

[dekusleftsock]

HELP YOURE SO RIGHT THOUGH

In a fanfic I’d probably kms out of second hand embarrassment, and I’m so sorry to any fic writers who have done anything remotely like this that would’ve made me go “BSOSBSISN CRINGE HELP” when I read it

YALL WERE RIGHT

Fuck

Kacchan is so silly and girl boss it pains me to say Kacchan but he’s fucking Kacchan now idfk

I’m gonna be 100% honest with y’all, if I was reading bkdk fic and Bakugou referred to HIMSELF as ‘Kacchan Bakugou’ in a FIGHT????

I would probably put my phone down, gag, vomit, and continue reading because that is just… too much, too on the nose, it’s too cringe for me to handle. But I would still eat that shit UP

So.. for this to have happened in the ACTUAL MANGA? it’s quite something

[demilypyro]

Ok

If your first pick was Sol honestly I get that. He's cool. You might just have terminal main character syndrome tho

If you pick Ky you're just boring. You definitely have main character syndrome but also you're the least interesting person at the function

If your first pick is May you're either a literal demon who heard about the totsugeki memes and wanted in, or you're a cutesy femme and Bridget and Elphelt weren't in the game yet

If your first pick was Axl you think you're the funniest motherfucker in the room at all times and I'm gonna kick your ass. Whether you stick with him will depend on whether you can stand his accent.

If your first pick was Chipp you not only have main character syndrome but you're also a weeb

If your first pick was Potemkin you're going to hell. You picked him specifically because you hate me.

If your first pick was Faust you DEFINITELY think you're the funniest motherfucker in the room, even moreso than Axl

If your first pick was Millia you're either a straight dude who wanted to pick I-no but is ashamed of being horny on main, or you're a chick who describes herself as a "dommy mommy"

If you picked Zato you have main character syndrome but also you liked Shadow more than Sonic

If your first pick is Ramlethal you were either looking for the girl with the biggest sword in the cast, or you have a foot fetish. I'm not kinkshaming, just acknowledging.

Leo seems like he's very popular among gay dudes but that's second hand info. Idk he leaves zero impressions on me

If you picked Nagoriyuki because he's cool you're the only mfer here I respect. If you picked him because he's OP I retract the last statement.

If you picked Giovanna you either wanted to play a cool girl but thought Millia looked too difficult, or you're a furry. Maybe both

If you picked Anji you are bisexual

If you picked I-no youre either a horny straight dude or you're a chick who describes herself as a "dommy mommy" but doesn't actually have sex

If you picked Goldlewis you're based

If you picked Jack-O you either saw the memes but didn't realize how hard she is to actually play, or you played Xrd

If you picked Happy Chaos you either saw the memes or heard he's OP and wanted in, not realizing he's been nerfed since. Idiot

If you picked Baiken you're horny AND a weeb. But honestly I get it

If you picked Testament you're probably a goth, nonbinary, or both, and you're just happy to be represented. Good for you

If you picked Bridget then she's probably the only reason you even bought this game

If you picked Sin you're kind of boring but not quite as boring as people who pick Ky. You might still be pretty cool

If you picked Bedman you were just looking for the weirdest character in the cast and automatically picked that one. If Bedman hadn't been out yet, you would probably have picked Faust

If you picked Asuka you're a nerd and I'm shoving you in a locker

If you picked Johnny you either think you're funny as fuck, or you have ADVANCED main character syndrome. It's inoperable. We have to amputate

If you picked Elphelt you're a lesbian

[bitterkarella]

Identifying furries by their fursonas

Fox- this is the default fursona for the default furry, namely a twink with a blown out fucked to death asshole

Vixen- Girl fox referred to as a vixen is an egg, girl fox just referred to as a fox is an out trans woman

Kistune - the same as above but weeb flavor

he-wolf - a greasy guy who weighs 12 pounds soaking wet and wears a fedora. republican.

she-wolf - the butchest bull dyke you ever saw

coyote - manic depressive. always on something. the drug connection at any furry party

Cat- always a woman

black cat - could be any gender but always goth

kitten/kitty - a trans sex worker, has an only fans they really want you to know about.

bobcat - older dude. wants people to think he's ex-military

Jaguar - an older black guy. will probably have the word "black" in his fursona's name

lion - just a huge asshole

tiger - another asshole. old. wants you to believe he's ex military or ex-police, probably a member of the dorsai irregulars. major grill dad vibes

jackal - a huge asshole and a slut. white gay racist, probably transphobic

cougar - either a trans woman or a terf. there's no in between

Horse - white woman who identifies as 2 Spirit or a guy who wants to be stomped on

Pony - gay nazi

unicorn - either the absolute gayest dude you can be or a 9 year old girl. sometimes a late in life transition

Tanuki - latino

badger - either a huge lesbian or an old avuncular straight guy. possible sex pest

Raccoon - nature's greatest mistake. too normie to be furry, too furry to be normie. dilf.

bat - either a goth or a real annoying shit (some overlap). invader zim fanboy. doesn't drink alcohol but claims to act crazy on "sugar highs." definitely has dabbled in webcomics

cow - a woman. maternal. mom friend or mommy dom. milf. possibly trans femme

steer - a big strong fat rough trade gay guy

sheep - mom vibes

pretty much any farm animal - mom vibes

domestic pig - wild card. might be a wet and messy fetish thing tho or a trash eating thing. loves to be stinky. loves to talk about being stinky.

wild pig - trans masc

skunk - either a fat beardy guy who has a tumblr blog about animation squash & stretch or a stoner gal. very straight. the straightest. a kinsey 0. has strong feelings about what the fandom used to be like before there were all these kids in it.

rat - is a huge asshole as a front, probably likes talking cigars

lemur - autistic

sloth - 420 blaze it. will never finish any commissions

chakat - an older cishet man who thinks the fandom is too political & refers to "anime" as "japanimation"

sergel - nazi

citra - the biggest dipshit you've ever met

procyon - furry equivalent of the thomas jefferson miku binder pic. you should not be talking to this person, this is a literal child

weasel - a girl with cluster b personality disorders

ferret - a person who has at least one pet ferret, but probably many

mole - this person thinks they're in a beatrix potter story

guinea pig/chinchilla/jerboa/gerbil/any kind of fat rodent you can keep as a pet - the sweetest person you will ever meet

armadillo/pangolin/anteater/aardvark - smug, contrarian. "i just wanna be different"

mouse - vore fetishist, prey. sub.

hyena - vore fetishist, pred. probably trans masc

otter - a dommy twink, possible enby

bear - gay

panda - absolutely a white person pretending to be asian. probably running a gofund me scam with a suspicious story about how they're a professional nintendo gamer who injured their hand or something

bullfrog - a huge fat hairy straight guy

any other frog - inflation or rubber fetishist

axolotl/newt/salamander - genderfluid enby

rabbit - trad wife trans woman

squirrel - autistic and gay

deer - gay

gazelle - zootopia megafan

monkey - punk DIY artist type, definitely loves weed

ape - absolutely baffling. nothing this person does or says makes any sense. you will be left wondering whether you're speaking to a child, a person with severe mental issues, or someone who doesn't have english as a first language

elephant - mom friend

hippo - a fat fetishist or a transformation fetishist

rhino - an older cishet dude who wants to project a curmudgeonly yet approachable aura

kangaroo - definitely not an australian person. extremely focused kinkster, usually feet or inflation. more STDs than should be possible to carry

koala - an asian woman

virginia opossum - anarchist/communist punk trans man who makes zines and/or comics

australian possum - just here to have fun. wants everyone else to be having fun too. wacky funster. (sugar gliders and flying squirrels fall under this category)

any other marsupial - poser

monotremes - extreme poser, don't even bother

doberman- gay dude who tops from the bottom or a cop (there is some overlap)

german shepherd - a nazi or a cop (there is substantial overlap). definitely a furry raider. he will wear his cop uniform to con and after con will post videos pretending that someone was rude to him

afghan - arch femme

basset hound - racist

puppy - sub, probably an egg. extremely draining. cries a lot

all other dogs - just dudes being bros (gender neutral)

dragon - the furries of furries. like to talk about eating "sammiches" and "chocklit." probably an adult baby lifestyler. they will send DMs that just say "hi." they like to RP and when they contact you about a potential commission they are actually just trying to trick you into RP

griffin - the same as above but also a brony

snake - sissy hypno fetishist

turtle - an old man, probably southern. an ironic grandpa.

other scalies - furry in denial. either a child or an old person from CYD. the world's last something awful goons

any fursona with latino vibes - white

any fursona with asian vibes - latino

any fursona with native american vibes - eastern european

avian - girl who's not like other girls. hippie. vegan.

raven/crow - agender voidgoth

chicken - mom vibes

dinosaur - the absolute biggest nerd. probably has an actual degree in paleontology. definitely dresses like miss frizzle.

any invertebrate - not a real furry, their girlfriend just made them get a furaffinity account before they could get ass. either that or they've never even heard of furry, they just came up with the idea of anthropomorphics from first principles. a biology teacher or weirdo (there is some overlap)

amoeba - this is a troll

[biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer]

Can you please write some (optional relationship, if not, romanse) headcannons for Geo and/or Hyugo with a weeb MC? They don't have to be strictly into anime, but just really loving Japanese and Japanese culture (bonus if they don't know Japanese).

Chronic Love (Geo + Hyugo x Weeb! MC/Reader)

Enjoy my amazing little weeb, have an awesome day! Solemnly thanks for entrusting me with writing this for you.

Also, uh, a minor sidenote, I am not an anime enjoyer or even remotely close to a weeb; so if I get something wrong/too exaggerated etc. feel free to publicly execute me in the town square. <333

You can read this from any perspective, as in, both in an established relationship setting and a solely platonic one. :]

A/N: From now on, Geo and Hyugo will be referred to as Geode and Hyugeode, if anyone in the Geo religion utters 'Geo', they shall atone. 😊😊😊/hj

- Signed by biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer

Chronic(ally): to a very great extent; extremely.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hyugo is honestly surprised when he finds out of your...intense love for Japan and its culture.

He won't be opposed to it, he'd find it a smidge endearing, considering he's Japanese; and you seem to be willing to learn anything about it. He's more than happy to tell you what you wanna know.

Do you take advantage of this? Yes.

Would probably eventually, to your joy, start telling you cultural appropriations and norms, along with a couple generic Japanese words/phrases (you say them whenever possible, feeling the language fall from your lips and off your tongue feels so right, you can't get enough!).

You ask him to tutor you Japanese at some point, to which he politely declines (he's got enough on his plate okay?!), but is willing to converse with you if you ask.

Just don't nag him, he fucking hates being nagged.

You'd probably mispronounce certain words, to which he'd correct you, until you get the hang of it.

Might take you to a Japanese candy store to tell you his personal recommendations (they're great btw).

If you like anime he'll be chill with it, just don't act like the stereotypical weeb and he's fine.

Learning words is one thing, overdramatizing, glorifying and exaggerating Japanese things annoys him.

Fortunately, you're reasonably calm with your devotion for it, and he doesn't mind.

Would get a bit nervous if you decide to actively pursue Japanese, after all, what if you overhear him talking to one of his shadier acquaintances and pick out the context?

Would overtime subtly monitor you, gauge how much you know and how quickly you're progressing.

Overall supportive though, enjoys the fact you like Japan. :]

Literally doesn't care. At all.

You like Japan? Cool. Good for you.

Much prefers for you to not harass him about Japanese words and phrases, unless he tolerates likes you enough, to which he'll blurt out something along the lines of: "Go fuck yourself".

Will probably teach you insults (he says it's to insult you, but we all know the real reason teehee)

If you're hanging out somewhere and Geo spies Japanese text, he might point it out to see if you know it, to which you'll be racking your brain until he relents and tell you.

Eventually will start briefly telling you things about Japans' history and art. Especially bonsais, he loves those. He'll never tell you though.

Will probably take you to a Japanese market/restaraunt eventually, if he feels you've gotten good enough.

If you order fluently enough he'll be genuinely pleased (won't show it though).

If not, he'll do it for you (internally cringes at the sheer thought aaaaaa).

However, in the rare event that Hyugo calls him "Subaru" and you hear? And understand?

That won't be good.

He'll tell you to drop it instantly.

And he will give you the most murderous glare if you ever ask him why he goes by Geo.

If he feels you've forgotten about that incident you haven't, he'll be more relaxed again, but will maintain a veil of caution now.

After all, you can understand what he says in private now.

That's not a good thing.

If you like anime he's chill with it, just don't be over-the-top obsessive towards it and he's cool.

Is satisfied you want to learn Japanese though. Likes you a lot smidge more for it too.

[ur-dad-satan]

I folded

This is a bunch of pictures/collages of the miniskirts and thigh highs I need to put the brothers in.

Red is Luci's color so why not put him in something so shiny with some basic black thigh highs for a tinge of class. I need to see his face the same color of this skirt.

I need Mam in this with gold accessories looking pretty on the floor begging to -... Black would look so good on him and the little white stripes would just be perfect to pull it all together.

Levi wouldn't mind wearing the outfit so to get the reaction I want, I'm gonna put that little weeb in the shortest sluttiest skirt I can find. Then I'm gonna wreck him like the pretty little slut he is.

This green would be so pretty on him and the and bring out the color of his eyes. The cute little kitty paws would be so fucking cute on him but he would blush to hell and back.

The pink and the white lace just makes him look so fucking pretty and stuff but in a classy way. He would lean into the role so good and I'd let him fu-

This is probably the shortest skirt I could find for the biggest (tallest and buffest) of the bros. The green just works so well but they would barely go up his thighs cause he's so fucking BUILT!! I would let that man do any and everything he wanted to me holy shit I need him.

He would look so comfy in this and the blue and pink contrast is so fucking amazing. They both look so comfy and I just NEED to see belphie in pink and blue.

Ugh, it's such a shame that these men are fictional and I CAN'T put them in these pretty little outfits. IF ONLY THERE WAS A TALENTED ARTIST ABLE TO DRAW REALLY WELL AND PUT THEM IN THESE PRETTY LITTLE OUTFITS!!

[sciderman]

Yk..i feel like i would enjoy Deadpool and Wolverine more if i liked these versions of the chsracters as much as everyone else seems to. And it's not that i hate them or anything, but they're just not MY guys, Hughs Wolverine is a tall ruggedly handsome leading man who's a typical berserker, the Wolverine i am into is a short, kinda ugly feral asshole that's both the biggest badass in the room but also a weeb bookworm and an unintentional adoptive father/older brother with his dumb fucking hair and side-burns and dresses like a bisexual lumberjack/cowboy, he hates poachers and loves petting deer, and he can talk to animals making him a Disney princess too. The movies just don't give me that, it's too serious, too embarassed of itself, Logan isn't enough of an unlikeable messy asshole in the movies, he's not explosive enough, he's a very Clint Eastkwood type. And same for Wade, i like Ryans Wade well enough, but he's too clean, too marketable, too empty and dumb. I am just not into them, they're too pretty, too nice, too clean, too marketable, they're made into more typical leading types and i am not a fan.....God, sorry for that rant.

hey. i love these versions of the characters and i hated the movie. i honestly really do like movie-pool - i just hated him here. i love hugh jackman's wolverine. but this – 

i get that logan is quite a different character in the movies vs other interpretations of him, and it is downheartening that we might not ever get a more faithful to comics adaptation of logan onto the big screen but - i don't know, i'm not too sad about it because everyone always has their own version of a character in their head. my version of peter parker will never be the same as the guy on screen.

i like hugh jackman's wolverine plenty. i think hugh is great. i love his wolverine. but - this isn't even his wolverine. this wolverine is a stranger. and actually - that kind of means something. it means it's not the wolverine we've been invested in all these years, and it's not the wolverine we cried over during logan. it's not him. it's just some guy. and that's - that's not great. we don't really know this guy. i think that's the thing. the film thinks it's enough to squeeze hugh into yellow spandex and all the fans will do the heavy lifting because WOOOAAAH it's the costume we all recognise but. underneath that costume is a guy we've never seen before. never introduced to before. isn't even the guy we invested decades of films with. they're asking us to project our expectations on him, overtly. wade does it. laura does it, yadda yadda. but that's not him. it's pointedly not him. it's a blank slate in wolverine's clothing that we're meant to project our expectations on. so. you need to actually put the work in to make us care about this guy. we care about him SOLELY because of our expectations of him, based on all the familiar iconography. the suit, hugh jackman, the claws... this movie is dependant ENTIRELY on you being able to recognise things and attach meaning to them. otherwise, there's no actual substance there.

if you didn't know the yellow suit from the comics you'd probably look at it and say "that's a stupid suit" - that's it. they're just banking on you overlooking the objective stupidity of it, because you recognise it and therefore it must be important and not stupid.

i think it was a bad move to make this a different wolverine. i think it was a bad move to have this movie follow-up on the events of logan - i think it was all bad moves. it should've been our logan, of wade's era. it doesn't even make sense for this to happen after logan. logan is set after the x-men are gone. so how is colossus and negasonic and yukio there and how did wade have all those x-men shenanigans in previous movies? that's fine. who cares. no rules.

it's just maddening to me. 10000 decisions that crumble immediately under any sort of scrutiny whatsoever. can't do it. can't do it.

[asherisawkward]

I found Luz not caring about the demon realms history annoying. I get it. Some of it was made up, but most of it wasn't, just why the crusade was started. It seems a lot of the history she got was through word of mouth.

You figure a fan of fantasy would be excited to learn the history and culture of a magical realm, not just magic. I'm surprise a lot more demons and witches didn't get fed up with her. The only thing who seemed to have anything against it was Hunter, but I could be remembering it all wrong. Sorry if this comes off as a rant.

I absolutely get what you mean!! Luz, from what I remember of TOH, spent a lot of time trying to fit the Boiling Isles into her opinion of what a fantasy world should be. She doesn’t really listen to the laws or the cultural norms. I suppose that it makes sense to ignore the laws to a certain extent, considering they’re made by a witch hunter pretending to be a benevolent ruler, but she doesn’t even try to think about things critically. Especially in this day and age, you are supposed to research and analyze before you draw a conclusion, not just take the word of some criminal who doesn’t even off you any proof. I love Eda. She’s badass and creative, and I adore how she grows to care about others through the series. But she is a biased character to introduce a world through, and Luz doesn’t even question it. She hears Eda’s “oh, he just wants to control magic” and runs with it.

The biggest example of her complete dismissal of the Boiling Isles culture, laws, and norms would be when she continued to push to be in all classes. Not only does she lack the necessary knowledge to cast precise spells, but she is asking the principal, the teachers, and all the students to risk themselves for her fantasy. This isn’t some petty pickpocketing that she’s asking a few people to ignore. She asks to be allowed to violate one of the most important laws in the whole country—it has the death penalty, for fuck’s sake! Principal Bump could have been executed for allowing this; the teachers could have gone to prison! And the students who don’t turn her in, while unlikely to suffer so severely, are likely to be punished as well! How many people could have been hurt or killed by her thoughtless violation of the laws if Belos had been shown to be a bit more how Dana claims he was? (Because, all things considered, he’s not shown to be the harshest ruler ever.)

Additionally, it bothers me that she never bothers to explore any real cultures or traditions on the Isles. She “wants to be a witch,” but doesn’t focus on anything other than the magic of it. If it were Harry Potter world, where witches are exclusively humans with human culture but magic, I’d get that, but it isn’t. It is a whole other world where everything from childhood to the system of government is different. Her refusal to let go of her preconceived notions and just explore what the BIs is like comes off a little bit like a weeb in their mother’s basement saying “I want to be Japanese,” going to Japan, and then never exploring it beyond their notions of what Japan is like from anime. I love Luz, and it was incredibly impactful for me to see a fellow neurodivergent fantasy nerd on screen, but she has a tendency of treating the Boiling Isles like her escapist fantasies. It bothers me that it’s not really addressed.

Finally, this lack of exploration leads to limited knowledge on what the actual inhabitants of the Boiling Isles are like aside from a select handful. What beliefs aside from the Titan do people have? What rituals do they perform, holidays do they celebrate? What are the people of the Boiling Isles like? Part of what I love about Amphibia is the time it takes to world-build, to show us all the different ways that the world works, and how there are varied, diverse, and unique cultures that are a part of it. It makes Amphibia dynamic and alive. The Owl House doesn’t do that with the Boiling Isles, and I’m bummed about that.

I hope this is close enough to what you’re talking about, because this got me on a tangent.

[astralaffairs]

freedom of the press 08 | thomas jefferson

title: freedom of the press 08

words: 10k

warnings: a lot of angst sorry. 09 will be happier if i can publish it in less than 2.5 years this time. addiction/substance abuse mentions, STI mentions

pairing: thomas jefferson x reader

desc: the 2020 republican presidential frontrunner is an obnoxious, morally bankrupt people-pleaser, but what happens when you become the person he’s most eager to please?

tags: @stargazelaurens @ivory-haired-queens @exoticxchicken8 @assbuttstyles777 @distinguishedpotsticker @fukaaaaaaaa @hereforthepsyche-assessment @ivetoldamillionlies @fangirl570 @thealaddinkid @lasciviouspeach @snazzydoesthings @shy-and-awkward-daveed @rachelhermionerose @soft-weeb-s @gryffinclxw @anamrnk @daveeddiggsit @ayayayayana @marinovakovich @cryinghazelnutt @thefandomgirl03 @a-hopeless-fan @cloudynblw @tinywhim @lolidunnoaboutnow @siriusorionblackiii @fanfic-addict-98 @nyxie75 @i-know-i-can @yxseminx @yavin4andor @sugacita @sstrawberry-fanta @youtxbemusic @queenwilty @someinsanefangirl @foudre-aqua @whatevs2000 @rwr-ites @maxi-ride @moose-on-the-l00se @itshaileyn @toxicidity @malos-moving @luckyfriesss @lovecass123

"YOU SENT ASHLEY my fucking article?"

"Woah, honey, slow down," Angelica said, voice staticky through the phone, but Y/N was fuming. She was sure that everyone in the diner below her apartment could hear her yelling. "Yes, I sent it. You asked me to, last night."

Y/N furrowed her brow. "...What the hell are you talking about?"

"Seriously?" she asked. "Don't tell me you've forgotten. You promised you only had two drinks."

Y/N's stomach turned. She distinctly remembered downing half the open bar at the campaign fundraiser the night prior after the way her conversation with Thomas had ended. She less-distinctly remembered Angelica driving her home -- she'd been in North Carolina on a different assignment, but it turned out the CEO she was reporting on happened to be one of Thomas's biggest donors. "Okay, so maybe I stretched the truth a little, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"It has everything to do with everything," Angelica said flatly. "You told me to send that article to Ashley in the middle of your soliloquy about how Jefferson was ruining your life. You were rambling, but you were coherent; I wouldn't have expected you'd wake up having forgotten all of it."

The more she spoke, the more was coming back to Y/N, though. Flashes of Angelica checking her out of her hotel, driving her several hours back north to DC.

"Fuck," she finally said, palming her forehead as though it'd restore her memory. "Wait, why would I have you send it to her instead of just doing it myself?"

"I don't know," Angelica said mildly. "Maybe you were too far gone to write the email."

"You said I was coherent," Y/N replied, raising an eyebrow. "So which is it? Was I drunk beyond belief, or did I just seem a little tipsy?"

"Honey, I don't know; you were just a little out of it. And you did just tell me you’d lied to me about how much you’d had to drink." Angelica sounded exasperated, but Y/N wasn't done.

"Forward me the email you sent Ashley. I need to see when you sent it and what you said."

"Why? I—"

"Because I don't believe that I asked you to do that," she snapped, and Angelica paused for a long moment, taken aback.

"...Why don't you believe me?"

"Because I'd already decided that I wasn't going to send it," Y/N huffed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"And so you think I did it behind your back?"

“That’s exactly what I think.”

There was a long pause; all Y/N could hear from the other end of the line was static.

“Y/N—”

“Either forward me the email you sent Ashley, or own up to it,” she cut her off, having no desire to hear Angelica push another excuse. “Prove me wrong.”

“I can’t.” Angelica’s tone was biting, and Y/N’s scowl deepened. “I did send it, but you know what? I’m trying to save you from yourself.”

“What the hell do you mean, ‘save me from myself’?” she asked incredulously. “You were the one who told me that only I could decide what I wanted to publish.”

“You spent an hour on the trip home talking about how Jefferson was ruining your life,” Angelica reminded her. “So why don’t you want that article published? Why are you trying to protect him?”

“Because even he doesn’t deserve this.”

“Why not?” she asked. “Why doesn’t he? He’s been ruining your career, antagonizing you on Twitter; do you even remember how worked up you were yesterday? Talk about your integrity all you want, but that doesn’t mean you have to protect him.”

“It’s not about protecting him,” Y/N defended. “It’s just what I think is right.”

“And why don’t you think this is right? That’s what I don’t get.” Angelica’s huff sent a rush of static through the phone that made Y/N wince. “Honey, this would fix all the damage he’s done to your career; isn’t it only fair that you publish? You've been drowning in bills, and I know it's taking a toll on you. You deserve the money you'll get from this. Besides, you don’t owe him anything.”

You don’t owe him anything.

Y/N couldn’t reply; Angelica’s words reverberated in her mind like an echo — they were true. She didn’t owe him anything. That was what she’d been telling herself, it was what she’d been telling everyone else, and it was what she'd spent the past night arguing with him about.

And he’d agreed. She didn’t owe him anything.

“I… I can’t have this conversation right now, Ang,” she sighed. “I know you meant well, but this wasn’t your place to get involved. Now I need to figure out what my next move is.”

“It’s too late to stop the article. Ashley already has it.” Y/N winced at her words, and Angelica continued, “If you refused to give her the sources, she’d fire you. I know this job means too much for you to just throw it away when things get hard.”

"This isn't 'things getting hard'; it's me losing the reason I wanted to be a journalist in the first place."

"And if you want to stay a journalist, you'll send Ashley the tape of your interview with Adams," Angelica said. "She can't publish without it."

“Don't act like somehow you know what's best for me, Angelica."

"It seems like I know better than you. Your finances have been the worst part of your life for years, and those are your exact words," she said, and Y/N scoffed. However, there was truth to it. "If you just waited it out and let Ashley transfer you to another department, would you even be able to pay your bills? Or would you lose your electricity? Your running water? What would you do the next time a student debt payment rolled around?"

"Well, thanks to you, now Ashley's threatening to fire me altogether.” Y/N scowled. "If I lose my income, I sure as hell won't be able to pay off my debt."

"Then follow through with the article," she urged. "You know it's what you need to do. You have to do this for yourself, Y/N. You think Jefferson's never broken his code of ethics to get ahead? Do you even think he has one?"

“Of course—” Y/N had to cut herself off. Her first instinct was to defend him, but she didn’t see any way she could convince Angelica of anything without her believing she’d been indoctrinated. “It isn’t about him. It’s about me, and it’s about my integrity. It doesn’t matter what he’s done.”

“Ashley already has the article. Don’t forget that.”

"You shouldn't have sent it in the first place,” Y/N said. “This is my job, and it's my career; you aren't allowed to make decisions like this on my behalf. At least the tape will buy me time.”

“That buys you two weeks, tops.”

“Then I’ll make the most of it.”

____________

THAT’D BEEN THE first stop on her damage control from the previous night, but she still had a long way to go. Lafayette was gracious enough to get her Dolley’s phone number; Y/N had a number of things she felt she needed to clear the air on, but her conversation with Dolley wasn’t exactly short.

Y/N spent the better part of two hours trying to convince her not to tell James what she’d heard. Apparently, she’d been holding her tongue since she walked in on them at the state dinner months before, but she felt like she’d learned too much the night prior to keep it from him.

She couldn’t tell James, though — at least, that was Y/N’s firm conviction. If she spilled everything to James, he’d have done everything in his power to keep Y/N away from their campaign. After all, since whatever there had been between her and Thomas was over, James didn’t need to worry about anyone’s conflict of interest.

Y/N’s throat tightened when she realized that.

But Dolley didn’t budge, and Y/N was ultimately forced to give up her desperate plea.

A week passed. Y/N returned to her normal schedule at the diner, and Thomas returned to avoiding those shifts whenever possible. (Although, according to Mira, he hadn't stopped by at all.) To the untrained eye, everything was business as usual; Y/N was working both her jobs, going to election events, and interviewing politicians, but to her, there was nothing usual about what she was doing.

She hardly slept that week. It wasn’t because of Thomas, she’d like to have claimed; she was just busy, balancing everything she needed done, working two jobs and trying to figure out what needed to happen for her to keep the Adams article from getting a green light. This was just how she was getting by.

So when Lafayette called her the next Friday, she almost didn’t pick up.

Or, really, she didn’t pick up until the fourth consecutive time he called.

“Hey, Lafayette.”

“What happened between you and Thomas?”

“What?” Y/N was curled up with her laptop on her couch, indulging in retail therapy against her better judgment. At his words, she furrowed her brow. Why was he bringing this up? Why would he have known? “What are you talking about?”

“Do not act as if you do not know what I am referring to,” Lafayette snapped. "He 'as not been 'imself since his fundraiser in North Carolina. So what happened?"

"I…" Y/N furrowed her brow as she processed Lafayette's words. Had he really taken it that poorly? Y/N knew he wasn't thrilled about the development between them; that much went without saying, but they both knew it was for the best. What Thomas wanted, she couldn't give him. Not then. "What d'you mean 'he hasn't been himself'? And why the hell do you think I have anything to do with it?"

“I do not know ‘ow to explain it, Y/N.” Lafayette sighed. “‘Ave you ‘eard from him recently? He 'as been… distant."

She swallowed hard at the question. "Not… not really. Why, what has he told you?"

"Nothing. And zat is exactly ze issue." His tone was short, and the words left little room for discussion. "Did you talk to him about ze article?"

"No, actually."

"...Really?" The surprise in Lafayette's voice was unmistakably genuine, and it made Y/N crease her brow.

“Yeah, um… why is that such a surprise? Did he say something?”

“No. He has ‘ardly spoken to me since ze fundraiser, and I cannot decipher why. I supposed zat something ‘ad happened between ze two of you because of your article, but…” He trailed off, and Y/N could hear in his voice just how stumped he was. “Did anything happen that night?”

“I mean, no, nothing important," she said, brow creased. "Why do you think I have something to do with this?"

“When I asked him what was wrong, ‘e told me to ask you,” Lafayette replied. "So here I am. There 'as to be something, Y/N."

“Don’t worry about it, Lafayette,” she said, rubbing her forehead as though it’d make her headache subside. “It doesn’t concern you.”

"So there is something zat you are not telling me." She winced at the accusation in his voice, but she couldn't claim that he was wrong.

"Okay, fine, but it wasn't a big deal. I swear."

“Perhaps not for you,” he countered, "but you should ‘ave seen Thomas.”

“Is he really doing that badly?” she asked hesitantly, unsure of whether she wanted to hear the answer. "Maybe he's just stressed."

“He has ‘ardly left his apartment, chérie. I went by earlier to check on him, and he would hardly speak to me. He looked like a mess.”

"What d'you mean 'looked like a mess'? Is he okay?" The question was hesitant. "He's, like, safe and everything, right?"

"Alors... he is safe, yes. But he is," --Lafayette hesitated for a long moment, and all that could be heard was static through the line-- "self-destructing, I suppose is ze term. I do not believe zat it is my place to share anything further, though."

"...Well, shit. I didn't think it was that serious."

“You did not think zat what was zat serious?" he asked, voice exasperated. "Can you not simply be forthcoming with me?"

“Nothing, like, big or tragic happened between us,” she said, and she could hear the defensive edge creeping into her own voice. “We just… talked, and we decided it was in both of our best interests to stop sleeping together. That’s all I have to tell you.”

“Zere ‘as to be more to ze story.” Lafayette’s voice, though muffled through the phone, had a stern undertone. “Please, do not withhold things. I am simply trying to help.”

“I don't know what to tell you, honestly,” she said. “What’s done is done. I can't help him anymore. He wouldn't want to see me.”

“Why did you decide to end things?” he asked. “My impression ze other day was that you were happy.”

She winced. That afternoon at Lafayette's place felt so long ago, after what'd changed. “It just had to happen.”

“Is it because you are publishing ze article?”

“I… no. It isn't.” She swallowed hard. Whether she was publishing it seemed like an extraneous detail.

“Then what happened? What did you say to ‘im?”

“I didn't say anything wrong. I've told you all that went down,” she insisted. “We just… You know we’re not in a relationship. The choice to stop all this was mutual.”

“Was it really?”

“Yes. He was the one who suggested it.” That much was true. However, she wasn’t sure how candid the suggestion had been when he initially brought it up. “Whatever's weighing on him, it has to be more than what happened with me. I don't think our conversation would've affected him all that much."

“Y/N, please, be straightforward with me. He told me to speak to you about zis." The concern in Lafayette's voice was neither light nor well-concealed. "I am worried about him. Zis is serious."

“Then I don’t know what it is,” she insisted, throwing a hand up in frustration. “I'm sorry, Lafayette. You know this wouldn't be something I'd want for him, but I can't help you.”

He sighed audibly. “I realize zat I will not be getting any more information from you, Y/N, but I am not done with trying to figure zis out.”

Y/N swallowed hard. “And I wish you the best of luck.”

____________

SHE WANTED THE weekend to herself after that. She didn't think Thomas would be taking this all so hard, but then again, she'd bottled everything up the moment she returned to D.C., pretended she'd believed every word she'd said to him, and she figured he'd do the same. It didn't seem like him to dwell.

And yet, there he was, dwelling, and so there she was, too, worrying about him. Her stomach was in knots.

Lafayette called her a number of times, sent her countless texts. He asked her to come over and talk to him about what happened, but she had no interest. He'd get nothing out of it, and she'd only feel worse. Besides, she couldn't run the risk of seeing Thomas in their building when she was there for Lafayette. He seemed to be unavoidable whenever she was there, but then again, maybe that was why Lafayette asked her over in the first place.

She called off all her shifts over the next couple of days, claiming a head cold, that she didn't want to get anyone else sick. Mira sounded skeptical, but she let her go.

Despite her reluctance to leave her apartment, though, when Dolley called and asked her to come over to talk, she was in a double bind. She hadn't told James anything yet, she said, and she wanted to hear what Y/N had to say about it all before she did. If she didn't want James to resent her until the end of time, she supposed she didn't have much of a choice. She was struggling to pinpoint why she still cared so much about his opinion of her, though.

But she thought she owed it to Thomas to try to contain the fallout.

“Hey, Dolley. Thanks for hearing me out.” She shrugged her coat off, left it on the bench beside the front door of James and Dolley’s house.

“Of course, dear. I figured it was only fair." Dolley gave her a sympathetic smile as she came to pull Y/N into a gentle hug. "Can I get you anything? I was about to make myself a cup of tea, but I could put on a pot of coffee, too, if you'd like."

"Actually, tea sounds really nice."

"Alright. You just sit tight, make yourself at home, and I'll be back in a minute."

Her mind was racing as she curled into Dolley’s couch, glancing around her house. She knew James wasn’t home, but she couldn’t help her paranoia that, somehow, he’d hear her, astral projecting from his lunch meeting into his bedroom.

But Dolley came back after putting the tea kettle on the stove, and Y/N had to get herself out of her head. She’d boiled her advocacy down into a nice, itemized list; Dolley took a seat beside her, and Y/N began giving her the hard sell.

I’ll spare you the details — after all, it’s everything you already know. You’d been there, a fly on the wall beside the hotel hot tub, and you know that Dolley telling James what she’d heard would accomplish nothing — he'd likely resent Y/N for it (not that she'd blame him; she knew the problem her relationship with Thomas presented for their campaign). However, with everything between her and Thomas having been put to an end, it'd accomplish nothing. James would have her barred from their events to prevent her from becoming a distraction, but it wouldn't change anything, by then, and only hinder her career.

And besides, she and James were friends. She didn't want the brief, silly fling she'd had with Thomas to ruin that.

She finished monologuing, and, as if on cue, the doorbell rang.

She raised an eyebrow, glancing at the door and then back at Dolley. "Were you expecting someone?"

"I—" The tea kettle started whistling, cutting her off abruptly as she turned her head back toward the kitchen. Dolley sighed. "Oh, hell. Would you mind getting that while I get the door? I need to go see who's here."

“Yeah, sure.” She went to the kitchen as Dolley stood to get the door, and she found that Dolley had made her life fairly easy. There sat two mugs and a box of teabags on a little wooden tray, so all she did was put the little kettle on a potholder before returning to Dolley’s living room.

She couldn’t have been gone for more than a few minutes, but when she came back, she and Dolley weren’t alone.

She nearly dropped the tray.

“Thomas?”

He and Dolley both looked up from where they sat on the couch.

“Y/N.” The minute he met her eyes, she froze. Lafayette was right — he looked like hell. The bags under his eyes were deep, and he clearly hadn’t shaved in several days. His beard was growing in patchy. “What are you doin’ here?”

“I…” She was struggling to speak past the lump in her throat. “What are you doing here?”

“Dolley invited me.”

Her eyes widened as she turned. “What the hell, Dolley?”

“Oh, would you relax? You two need to talk, and you well know it,” Dolley snapped, and Y/N’s grip tightened on the handles of the tray she held. “Come here and sit down.”

“No. I...” She set the tray down on the side table nearest her, and Dolley furrowed her brow. “I'm leaving. I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but there’s nothing more to say.”

"Come on, Y/N—"

"She's right, Doll," Thomas sighed. "We already ended things."

"Please, neither of you wanted to. You're just both too stubborn to say it."

"Don't act like you know the full story," Y/N scoffed.

"So you don't want to fix this?"

"There's nothing to fix." Dolley hummed skeptically as Y/N proceeded past her, grabbed her jacket from the bench by the door. "Thanks for having me, though. I'll see you."

"If either of you leaves, I'm telling James everything."

She paused. "Dolley, you can't—"

"I can, and I will. Now, get back here."

"This is blackmail."

"I won't deny that." Dolley raised an expectant eyebrow when Y/N turned back to her. "Are you going to come sit down, or was this a waste of both our afternoons?"

“Dolley.”

“Would you two like a minute to yourselves?”

“I…” She didn’t answer, instead turning to Thomas, waiting for any sort of a cue. He was watching her, though, and when their eyes met, both of them fell silent. She swallowed hard.

“That might be best.” Thomas’s words were soft, but Y/N couldn’t speak, not with the lump that was building in her throat. Dolley glanced between them, and maybe she could see the silent dread in Y/N’s eyes, but she didn’t say another word, just nodded before she left the room. And with that, Y/N and Thomas were alone.

She swallowed hard. When she finally took a seat, it was on the far end of the couch. Y/N felt certain that Dolley’s draping coats and resting books on every other chair in the room was deliberate.

He was the first to speak.

"So, what're you doin' here, then?"

"Dolley invited me, too." She pursed her lips. "I came to talk to her about… everything she heard."

"Why?" Thomas looked genuinely bewildered, but Y/N didn't understand his confusion.

"I was trying to convince her not to talk to James about it." She shrugged. "I mean, it's not like it's worth her telling him now. It wouldn't change anything."

"Then why d'you care if he knows?"

"I…" She trailed off, unsure whether there was any delicate way to say that she didn't want him to be on the receiving end of any hostility from James just because he'd fucked her a few times. She didn't think he deserved that. "I guess I'd rather James not think I'm sleeping around to get ahead."

"'N you're really that worried about his opinion of you?"

"More than I should be." Her voice was quiet. "Anyway, what issue do you have with that? This whole thing affects you, too, you know."

"Oh, believe me, I know." He huffed, folded his arms as he sat back against the couch cushions. "I, er… I came for the same reason. Didn't want James chewin' me out over it."

“James loves you. Even if she does tell him, you know he won’t be able to be angry about it.”

“James ‘s one of my oldest friends,” he agreed, “but when we’re workin’ together, that doesn’t matter anymore. He’d be furious.”

“Even after the fact?”

He shrugged. “We knew everything we were putting at risk here. He’d tell me my priorities weren’t in the right place, or that I shoulda been taking our campaign more serious than… whatever you ‘n I were doin’.”

“Then I guess it’s good that we stopped,” Y/N replied weakly.

“Yeah.” Thomas didn’t meet her eyes. There was a long moment of silence after that; she could tell his mind was elsewhere with the absent stare he wore, fixed on the ottoman of one of the armchairs, but his brow was furrowed. He was deep in thought. She pursed her lips. “What were you gonna say that night?”

The question caught her off guard; her eyes widened, and he looked up calmly to meet her eyes, wearing an inquisitive look.

“What?”

“The night of my fundraiser.” She pressed her lips together into a thin line. “When Dolley came in, she cut you off. I haven’t been able to keep my mind off’a it.”

God, she hated how he was always so blunt. He always spoke his mind, always said what he was thinking, and it was one of the things that scared Y/N most about him. He hadn’t been able to keep his mind off of that one little moment, that fragmented sentence.

“I… I don’t remember.” Her answer was honest, but Thomas wasn’t satisfied.

"You never meant to…?"

"Hm?” Y/N furrowed her brow, and Thomas's noncommittal shrug didn't help much. “'I never meant to' what?"

"That's what I've been trying to figure out."

Oh. She pursed her lips, and her movements were hesitant. She knew what he was talking about — that'd been the last thing she said before their tense conversation ended abruptly the night of his fundraiser. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

Thomas scoffed. “Really? I don’t even deserve the truth about this?”

“I’m not lying.”

“Yes, you are.” His tone was unshakeable; he was beyond convinced of his words, and Y/N shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “After everything we’ve been through, I know you better than this.”

“And what have we been through? Hm? Fucking on your kitchen counter? I’m sorry to say it, but I’m not quite sure that’s the peak of intimacy.”

“Yeah, alright,” he acquiesced, “but what about all the time we didn’t spend fucking?”

“I…” Y/N trailed off, her jaw tight, entire body tense. “We both knew that was why we were together in the first place. I stayed over because I didn’t wanna travel through the city in the middle of the night. There wasn’t much more to it.”

“Oh, sweetheart, we both know that if you really just wanted to get into my pants, there was no need for you to spend so much time at mine.” His tone was frustratingly condescending, but he was right. “Don’t tell me the reason you made dinner with me, watched all my cheesy old movies, even watered my damn plants was ‘cause I give good head.”

Y/N scowled. "Fine. I like spending time with you. But that doesn't make us anything more than friends."

He hummed in acquiescence, giving a subdued shrug. "Guess not. Making out on the kitchen counter does that well enough, though."

"Okay, we were friends with benefits," she conceded, but Thomas didn't look quite satisfied. "What? What's wrong with that? We're friends, and we slept together."

"Don't try and tell me this is all in my head." Thomas scowled. "Yeah, we slept together. But we did a lot more than that. I know very well I'm not delusional for thinking something more was goin' on there."

“You’re blowing this out of proportion,” Y/N scoffed. “You know it was never like that; it wasn’t what I wanted.”

“No, I know.” Thomas shifted on the couch to face her, and his gaze was heavy with scrutiny, with skepticism. “You didn’t wanna get too involved. You made all that clear as day.”

“Then what’s the problem?” The undertone of irritation in his voice was putting her on edge, and he let out a dry, breathy laugh, shaking his head.

“That you’ve been lyin’ to me.”

“What? I never—”

“I don’t mean your intentions. You never wanted us to be more than friends. That’s just fine,” he reasoned, and how measured his tone was made Y/N furrow her brow. “But what I wanna know now is if you did end up gettin’ more attached than you meant to.”

“I… ?” Her voice was breathless. It sounded as though his question had knocked the wind out of her, but Thomas just continued to watch her expectantly.

“You heard me. You know what I’m askin’.”

“Does it matter?” she asked, but the words sounded hoarse. She could feel her hands trembling where she rested them on her thighs, and she folded her arms to hide it. She didn’t want Thomas to see how uneasy she was.

“It does to me.” He pursed his lips, leaned forward to rest on his forearms on his thighs. Y/N didn’t respond. “If you’re not gonna gimme an answer on that, the least you can do is tell me what you were gonna say that night. Just give me something to go on here.”

“It won’t change anything.” Her voice was heavy.

“Then just tell me." He sounded tired. "I can't go on wondering if this was all in my head."

“Thomas…”

“Please,” he said. “What’d you ‘never mean to’ do?”

“Hurt you.” Her words were nearly inaudible as she stared down at her legs, unable to bring herself to look up and see how he was watching her. “Which feels silly to say now, but it’s the truth.”

His jaw was tight. He nodded. “Great.” He let out a heavy breath, leaned back off of his legs to sit up in his chair. “Great. ‘M gonna go tell Dolley we’re finished with talking. Don’t think there’s anything else to say.”

Y/N’s eyes were wide as he stood, particularly as she hadn’t moved an inch. “Wait, what?” He looked down at her with an expectant eyebrow raised when he went to grab his coat. She frowned. “I mean, yeah, sure, fine. But…”

“But what?” Thomas immediately challenged it when she trailed off, shaking her head.

“But that’s it?” she asked. “You’re just gonna leave now after you pressed for me to tell you that?”

He let out a humorless, breathy laugh. “‘Course I am. What else am I supposed to do with, ‘oh, I never meant to hurt you, Thomas’?”

Y/N wrinkled her nose at his mocking impression of her voice, taken aback by his shift in demeanor. “I don’t know. You’re the one who kept asking.”

“Mm, you’re right. My bad, sweetheart.” His tone was mocking as he pulled his arms into the sleeves of his coat, shrugged it onto his shoulders. He glanced back at the doors to the rest of the house. “‘S Dolley in the kitchen? Hang on a sec.”

“Hey, wait, slow down,” Y/N said, and she sounded affronted.

“What? You don’t wanna leave?”

“I… yeah, but…” She frowned. “Why do you sound so angry? What did I do?”

“I’m not angry.” The strain in his nonchalant gaze and his clenched jaw both said otherwise. “I can just appreciate some good irony, ‘s all.”

“What?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know what I mean,” he said. “You’re too smart for that, c’mon.”

“I got the implication,” she replied, struggling to keep her tone in check, “but no, I don’t know what you mean by it. What have I done to wrong you so sincerely? Hm?”

“Oh, please, I can’t do this again.” His frustration was unbridled in his voice. “Hasn’t even been a week since we went over it. Try ‘n think.”

“Do you mean in North Carolina?”

“When else?”

She huffed. “Alright, fine, but I don’t know what you want me to say to that. Do you really want to re-hash that argument?”

“Not in the least. ‘S why I’m leavin’,” he said frankly. “You take care of yourself, now.”

“Wait, come on,” she protested, finally standing up alongside him. “You seem even more mad now than you did last week. What’s your problem?”

He raised an eyebrow, and the amusement in his small smile was sardonic. “Right now? Sugar, you’re my problem. What’s hard to understand about that?”

How condescending his tone was made Y/N grit her teeth. “Then what do you want from me? What am I doing so incredibly wrong right now that I deserve—?”

“Same thing you’ve been doin’,” he spat. “Pretending to care about me ‘n then turnin’ around and makin' me feel silly for believing it."

"Hey, what?" The offense she took was clear in her voice. "Of course I care about you."

"Oh, save it. There's nothing to prove anymore. No need for the act."

"What the fuck do you mean 'act'?" He rolled his eyes at her question, went back to buttoning up his coat, and she scoffed. "I'm still talking to you."

"'N you're not sayin' anything I haven't heard."

"Then what do you want from me?" she asked, throwing her hands up in exasperation. He looked her dead in the eye.

"Something you can't give me."

She was stunned to silence for only a moment after his biting words, and as he finished putting his coat on, she drew in a shuddering breath. "So that's what this is about. You're angry because I haven't sucked your dick in a couple weeks."

He huffed out a disbelieving laugh. "Please. If I needed to get off, I could go anywhere I wanted."

"Oh, right, because the women are lining up down the street to fuck you."

"That's not what I mean, and you know it," he snapped.

"Then what do you mean?" She folded her arms, raised her eyebrows.

He paused for a moment, tongue burrowed into the corner of his cheek as he watched her. "I mean that I actually want you. Am I not bein' clear enough? I don't just wanna fuck you once in a while 'n then pretend to be strangers. But I have no idea what the hell you want from me, so I'm leaving. You can tell Dolley I said g'night."

"I will," she replied. "And I'm sure James will love hearing everything Dolley knows about us hooking up. Have fun dealing with that fallout."

He let out a mirthless laugh. "Thanks. Whatever he has to say, it'll be much easier than havin' to deal with you."

––––––––––––––––––––

mailto: ashl.sheddy@washingtonpost.com

Ashley:

I hope this email finds you well. Thank you so much for all your feedback on the Adams article; it’s been incredibly helpful in my redrafting process. However, many of the claims he makes about Jefferson’s past remain unsubstantiated, and I have faced numerous obstacles in finding a source who is willing to corroborate. None of Jefferson’s contacts who know him well enough to confirm or deny are willing to comment. As such, I am reaching out to request a two-week postponement on the publishing of the article while I straighten out the facts supporting it.

Thank you in advance,

Y/N L/N

––––––––––––––––––––

THOMAS’S WORDS HAD stung. He left that day with no further ado, and Y/N was left dwelling in the days that followed. She couldn't help but wince every time she recalled what happened. Her guilt was weighing on her even heavier than before.

"Mija, where is the order for Marcus?"

It was Mira's voice that broke her train of thought, pulled her out of her head. She blinked hard and found herself in the middle of absentmindedly assembling a sandwich. She checked the receipt— shit. Marcus had specifically asked for no mayo.

Y/N huffed as she trashed the bread and pulled out another roll. A minute later, she slid his order out in a basket complete with fries and a pickle, yelled it out over the counter, and went on to the next one. They were closing in ten minutes: why the hell were there still orders to make?

She slumped against the kitchen counter, resting on her hands against it after she finished the lobster roll for Sriya. Mira walked in to her left.

"Ay, this mess," she huffed, untying her apron and scrunching her nose as she surveyed the room. Y/N nodded, her blank stare not leaving the floor in front of her. Mira furrowed her brow. "Oye, you with me?"

Again, she nodded absently, and Mira frowned, folded her arms. "And you are happy to wash all these dishes, too? I can leave you here to mop the floors?"

The robotic nod she received in return made her sigh. "Mija." She snapped her fingers; Y/N visibly jumped, eyes wide. She looked at Mira. "What is wrong, hm? Why are you acting dumb?"

"Hey, uncalled for," Y/N defended herself, wearing a small frown as she looked over at Mira's impatient expression. "I'm just distracted."

"By what?"

She shrugged. "I don't know… work, I guess."

"You are at work," Mira pointed out, and Y/N sighed.

"You know I mean my other job. There's a lot on my mind. I'm sorry if I've been slacking here."

"Mm. Apology accepted," she said, and Y/N could only roll her eyes.

"Glad to hear it."

"But actually talk to me now, hm? You are giving me half answers." Mira raised an eyebrow, hands on her hips. Y/N pursed her lips.

"It's not a huge deal. Just an article I've been working on," she said. Her stare was absent. After a minute, she cleared her throat. "But hey, um, sorry to change the subject, but can I ask, has Thomas Jefferson been around here lately?"

"'To change the subject,'" Mira repeated skeptically. "So he is your problem. It is always a man."

Y/N furrowed her brow. "I thought you loved Thomas."

"Sí, sí, pero te quiero más," Mira replied matter-of-factly. Y/N couldn't help her small smile. "You know you always come first for me."

"Thanks," she said softly.

"But why do you care about Thomas Jefferson coming here now? Hm?" Mira asked, making Y/N frown. She assumed she was off the hook. "All you ever do is complain about him. Shouldn't you be happy?"

"So he hasn't been coming here?"

"Ah, ah. My question first."

Y/N shrugged uncomfortably. "I don't know. I just haven't seen him during my shifts. I was curious."

Mira paused, eyeing her skeptically for a moment before she pulled her apron off over her head and folded it in her hands. "Yes, he has been by."

"Really? When?"

She nodded. "He was here yesterday."

"Did he seem… okay?"

Mira paused. "What do you mean?"

"I dunno." She shifted under Mira's disbelieving gaze. "I've heard he hasn't made many public appearances recently. Just wondering if something was going on."

"He seemed fine." Mira tossed her apron onto the counter. Y/N nodded, pressing her lips together. "He asked about you."

She froze. "He did?"

"He did," she confirmed. "Why did he ask about you?"

“What? I don’t know.” Her brow was furrowed, and her tone was defensive. “What did he ask?”

“The same thing you asked me about him. What is going on?”

“Nothing, I don’t—”

“No me mientas. I saw him leaving on a Saturday morning two months ago when I came in to open.” Mira’s tone was sharp, and Y/N’s stomach dropped. “I am not stupid; simply tell me what is happening."

“Mira, it’s really not what you think; he was just here while I was closing, and it was the night of that horrible blizzard, and his car wouldn’t start, and the roads were closed…”

“So you had an innocent little slumber party with Thomas Jefferson?”

“I just let him stay here for the night,” Y/N defended. “He didn’t really have any other options.”

“So why is he coming around here asking after you?” Mira folded her arms, and when Y/N shrugged, she sighed. “Please be honest with me. It is obvious that there is something more going on than you want to admit.”

Y/N’s long moment of silence following her words told Mira more than Y/N meant to divulge. Mira pursed her lips.

“Por favor, dime. I am only asking because I care about you.”

“Well, I appreciate it, but there’s nothing to be worried about,” Y/N assured her. “I’m obviously fine, and he’s apparently doing alright as well, so there’s no problem. I’ll come talk to you if there ever is.”

Mira looked her over as she cleaned up the counter she stood before. “Are you really doing fine, though?”

Y/N went to take out the trash.

��––––––––––––––––––––

SHE SETTLED BACK into her usual closing shifts at the diner within the week, returning to working the dinner rush. She could only feign illness to stay away for so long, and this wasn’t the shift Thomas typically came in during, anyway. Besides, she needed the money more than she needed to avoid him.

That week passed with little intrigue, limited to her favorite (and least favorite) customers alongside a surprise appearance from Lafayette on Wednesday night. Thankfully, he showed up during peak hours, so it wasn’t difficult to evade his questions under the guise of taking care of other customers. She assumed he left shortly after he came, but around an hour later, she noticed him in the back corner chatting animatedly with the old man who always ordered nothing but coffee and read his newspaper for hours. She couldn’t help but smile.

She was slowly walking back information from her article about Thomas, claiming she had another source denying the validity of its original claims, but she wasn’t sure her editor was buying it. Ashley was impatient, and her approach had always been to publish first and follow up later. It was surely only a matter of days, maybe a week, before the article went live without anyone corroborating it. Y/N was operating on stolen time.

But at that point, it couldn’t be her greatest concern.

The following Wednesday was slow at both the office and the diner. Thomas hadn’t appeared much in public since his fundraiser in North Carolina, so Y/N didn’t have much to write about to distract her from the exposé she was doing her best to stall. She had resorted to redundant think pieces about his economic policy platform.

When she arrived at the diner for the night, Y/N was already counting the hours until she could curl up with a glass of wine and watch Parks and Rec until she passed out on the couch. She’d take a night with Aubrey Plaza over her regulars any day.

She was working the kitchen with Jac until Mira left for the night, pushing Y/N to the register in her place. It wouldn’t have been a problem for her if not for the first face she saw when Mira brought her out to the front.

He was absentmindedly checking his phone when she approached, and she cleared her throat as she stepped up to the register. He looked up, and his eyes went wide.

"Hey." She spoke first. "What can I get you?"

"Hey." His voice was hesitant. "Sorry, I… thought you didn't work Wednesdays anymore."

She didn't meet his eyes, staring past him at the diner's patrons as she tapped her fingernails on the counter. "This is my usual shift."

"I know, but Lafayette said…" He trailed off, shaking his head. She raised her eyebrows, finally looking directly at him. His eyes were bloodshot. "Nevermind. 'M sorry. Can I get a roast beef on rye and a cappuccino to go?"

"Yeah. It'll be out shortly." Her words were soft, absentminded as she eyed him. He looked more put-together than she'd seen him when they were at Dolley’s, but the heavy frames of his glasses didn't hide the growing bags under his eyes.

He nodded, leaning down to pay, signing the screen before him. "Thanks, sweetheart."

He was tucking his card back into his wallet as he spoke, and as her eyes widened, he froze, both of them processing his words at the same time. He didn't say another word, though. He sighed as he turned to walk away, and she didn't interrupt him.

She sent his order to the kitchen and grabbed a cup for his coffee, marking it with his name. She stared at it for a long moment before glancing back up at him. He was seated at a table by the end of the bar, typing frantically on his phone.

They had his order out for him in around five minutes, and it was Jac who called it out to the dining room when he put it on the bar. Y/N went ahead and made his coffee herself, forcibly switching places with her coworker to transfer herself off of the register, and she was finishing it right as he came up to collect his sandwich.

"Cappuccino for Thomas?"

Her voice was weak as she met him at the end of the counter, and he gave her a halfhearted smile.

"Thanks."

As she handed him the cup, his fingers brushed against hers, and she couldn't bring herself to let go.

"Give me a call?" she asked quietly when he met her gaze. Her eyes were hopeful, and he swallowed thickly.

"Take care of yourself." His tone was impersonal as he broke her stare. She pursed her lips. He pulled the cup from her shaking hands.

––––––––––––––––––––

THOMAS DIDN'T CALL. Y/N wasn't sure she was really expecting him to after how he came in on Wednesday and made it clear that he'd been trying to avoid her. Still, her heart rate picked up every time she received a notification, not letting her rest until she had confirmed it wasn't him. She was let down every time.

She was the last employee there before they closed on Friday, as Jac had to leave early for a date, so she was left wiping down the counters as she waited for the final few customers to make their way out of the diner.

She looked up when the bell above the door rang, expecting the last person to be leaving, but instead, Thomas Jefferson was walking in. Her eyebrows shot up.

She came over to meet him at the register. "Did Lafayette also tell you I wasn't working Fridays?"

"Nah. 'M actually here to see you," he said. His expression was blank, his tone businesslike. "You did ask me to call, didn't you?"

"Yeah." Her voice was small. "At this point, I didn't think you were gonna."

"I didn't plan to." They both glanced over as the bell above the door chimed again, letting them know the last person had left the diner. "But it's been on my mind. I don't have time for that typa distraction, which is why I'm here."

"Right," she said softly. "Can I get you anything?"

"Coffee would be great if it's not too much trouble."

"Of course." The coffee pot was still hot and sitting under the machine, so it didn't take her long to pour him a cup in one of the mugs she'd just cleaned (one cream, two sugars). She turned back to hand it to him. "Here you go."

"Thanks." He accepted it as he sat down across the counter from her, putting it down in front of him. When he pulled out his wallet, Y/N raised an eyebrow, and when he started fishing out bills, she couldn't help but sigh.

"Put your money away; this is on the house," she said, and he glanced up with his dark brow knit.

"You should know by now that I can't be bought."

Her eyes widened at his words, and she looked him over skeptically for a moment as he put his wallet away. He held her gaze for another moment, watching her expectantly, and after a beat passed, the corners of his lips quirked up, giving the only indication that he might be joking. She rolled her eyes.

"How could I forget about your impeccable morals?"

"No idea." He reached for his coffee, and he took a delicate sip as she leaned against the counter across from him. "Why'd you ask me to call?"

"I wanted to talk to you, but I didn't think a text would cut it."

"What do we have left to say right now?" The bluntness of his question caught her off guard, and her eyebrows shot up as he watched her expectantly. "The conversation we had at Dolley's made it pretty clear any talk we had was gonna be more of the same."

She frowned, crossing her arms in front of her as she drew back from the counter. "If you think this is a waste of time then why did you bother to come here?"

"I don't think this is a waste of time," he defended. "I'm just not sure what you want from it."

"I don't know if you do, but I still have more to say," she said. He raised an eyebrow.

"Then why didn't you say it while we were at Dolley’s?"

"Because we started fighting, and you were angry, and I…" She sighed. "I didn't know how to. You had every right to be angry, but I didn't want to think I was in the wrong."

"So what's changed?" he asked, watching her expectantly.

She shrugged hesitantly, looking down at her hands on the counter. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about what you said. I felt bad, and… I've been worried about you."

"You've been worried about me?" he repeated skeptically, and when she looked up, she didn't like the disdainful look in his eyes.

"I have." When his disbelieving stare didn't budge, she sighed. "The last couple times I've seen you, you haven't seemed like yourself. You looked… tired."

"'Course I'm tired; I'm running a presidential campaign," he said flatly, and Y/N pursed her lips.

"I know, but then Lafayette called, and…" She trailed off when Thomas huffed. "I dunno. Mira told me you asked about me, and then Lafayette started talking like he knew something I didn't. So I was worried."

"Of course Lafayette called," he scoffed. "He can't just stay out of our damn lives, can he?"

"He means well," she reasoned, but he looked unimpressed.

"He needs to learn a thing or two about boundaries," Thomas said, "but I'm doing just fine. If that's all you wanted to talk about, I can head out."

"No, c'mon," she pleaded. "I didn't bring you here just for that. Bear with me."

Thomas said nothing but raised an expectant eyebrow as he took another sip of his coffee, waiting for her to continue.

"The real reason I wanted to talk is because I owe you an apology. Several apologies, really."

He put down his mug, leaning back in his chair. "What for?"

"You know what for." She gave him a tired look, and he shrugged innocently.

"Maybe." He drummed his fingers on the ceramic absentmindedly, watching them bounce on its glossy surface. "But I wanna know if you know what you're apologizin' for."

The bored look he wore made her feel small. She swallowed.

"I'm sorry for treating you how I did."

"You're gonna have to be more specific."

"I think if I tried to be specific we'd be here quite a while."

"I've got time."

"It's late."

"You don't have work tomorrow." He paused, considering himself. "As far as I know, that is. Won't pretend I still know your schedule."

"It hasn’t changed as much as I pretended it did,” she said quietly. “So I guess I’ll start there. I’m sorry for lying to you about my schedule and trying to pretend I hadn’t been avoiding you. I should’ve been upfront when you asked about it.”

“Yeah, you shoulda," he agreed with a nonchalant shrug. "I never got an explanation on why you were avoidin’ me either, but with how you started deflecting when I asked about other men, I’m not sure I want one.”

“Woah, I wasn’t deflecting anything about other men,” she defended, brow creased. “I told you in no uncertain terms that I had no desire to hook up with Lafayette, and you decided to push that and scrutinize my dating life.”

He rolled his eyes. “‘S great to know you and Lafayette aren’t sleeping together, but you can’t pretend you were straightforward with me.”

“What was I not being clear about?”

“You’re really gonna make me do this again?” Thomas huffed, glancing to his right as disbelief flashed in his eyes. “I dunno why you wanted to talk to me if we were just gonna rehash this.”

“I’m being serious.”

“Every time I've asked whether you were sleeping with other people, you told me you didn’t owe me that information, ‘n it all became some big fight about me actin’ controlling,” he said. “If you don’t wanna tell me, fine, but don’t act like you’ve been transparent. We both know you’re keeping me in the dark for a reason.”

“I’m not, actually,” she said, looking him in the eye. “I haven’t been with anyone else. Not in any capacity. If I were having sex with other people, I would’ve been asking you to be a lot more careful.”

“So you didn’t call me up to tell me I needa get tested for chlamydia?”

“No, just syphilis.” Her tone was lighthearted, but Thomas didn’t offer any sign of amusement. She cleared her throat. “You’re the only person I’ve been with since we met, so the last thing you have to worry about is me passing on some incurable STI.”

“You haven’t slept with anyone else since I’ve known you?” There was surprise in his creased eyes as he fixated on the first part of her sentence. She shrugged.

“I guess I haven't.” She eyed his incredulous stare. "I didn't think this would be that shocking, either."

"You've been careful as possible to make that unclear," he said. "So if there's nobody else, then why all the lyin'? If you wanted space, you coulda just said so. I'm an adult; I can handle it."

"I know you can," she said quietly. She rubbed at a smudge on the countertop, trying to avoid his gaze. "I just… I've felt guilty about being with you and… whatever this is. Whatever we are. So much happened so fast between us, and the more time I spend in the outside world the more I feel like it was a mistake."

"'A mistake'?" The hurt in his tone was clear, and she sighed, resting her forehead on one of her hands.

"I don't mean it like that, but you know what the reality is here. We knew it from the start."

"I shouldn't have come here," he muttered, setting down his mug and moving to stand. Her eyes widened.

"Wait, hear me out," she pleaded, but he was off of his seat, buttoning his coat. "I got a lot more attached to you than I meant to, alright?"

That stopped him cold.

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about what you said at Dolley's, and I'm sorry I spent so much time deflecting." She pursed her lips, watching him hopefully, and when he met her eyes, his tense shoulders softened. "I really like being with you, but with what our lives are, we can't be doing this. We’re not good for each other."

"I never asked you for any kind of a commitment," he defended. "You shoulda just told me if you didn't wanna do it anymore."

"I do want to keep doing it, though, and that's why it's such a problem." She sighed, her back sagging as she leaned against the counter. "I got too close. It's ruined all my objectivity as a journalist."

"You're good at your job," he reasoned. "The way you write about me's gotten more nuanced. I don't think that's a bad thing, sweetheart."

"No, you don't get it. This is a presidential race, and as a frontrunner, people have had enough of hearing about your politics. They get it by now. They want to hear about you and your ugly past and all the things that make you an unqualified leader." Her voice sounded hopeless, and it made him frown. "You've told me too much for me to play it straight. I care too much to be able to decide what the public does and doesn't need to know. I got this assignment because I wanted to serve up your dirty laundry on a silver platter, but I don't think I have it in me after everything that's happened."

"There's not much in my past worth hiding."

"Isn't there?"

"If I've made it this this far into my career without bein' hurt by what I do behind closed doors, I'm not afraid of anything you're gonna dig up."

"You were an alcoholic."

His wide eyes snapped to hers, and she didn't dare speak.

"'N how the hell d'you know about that?"

"So it's true?" she asked quietly.

"I was grieving my goddamn fiancée. She was all I had; I was surviving," he snapped, and she pursed her lips. "You try losing the love of your life 'n tell me it doesn't screw with your head."

"I don't blame you, Thomas, and I'm not judging you." Her soft words didn't save her from his skeptical gaze. "I’m sorry that you went through that. You didn’t deserve a second of it. But now that I know this, I’m supposed to publish an article about it. My editor wants to make this front page news, but I want to kill the story because I got too close to you."

"If I was anybody else, would you even know about this?"

"I got this information from an interview." She spoke slowly, choosing her words carefully. "My source wants to remain anonymous, but it's sound enough to publish without someone else corroborating it."

"Are you tellin' me you're planning to publish an article about me bein' an alcoholic?" His voice was incredulous; he watched her as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. The look in her eyes was pained.

"I don't want to," she said. "I don't want to make this public because I care too much about you. I don't even know whether this would be a fair article for someone to write because I've lost all perspective on writing about you."

"So don't write the article," he said, and she could barely stand to look at the worry in his eyes. "'S all in the past. I'm under control now; 's not who I am. That was me at my worst."

"My editor already knows about the interview," Y/N said softly, and she winced at the dread she saw flash in his expression. "If I don't publish this, someone else will, and I'll lose my job in the process."

"Who did the interview this came from?"

"I did." Her words were tearful.

"Then you can still stop this," he said firmly. "Refuse to write about it. Don't send your boss the notes from the interview, or the tape, or whatever you've got."

"Thomas, it's already written."

Her words struck him silent, and all he could do for a moment was stare at her in disbelief.

"I'm trying to stop it from running. It's a rough draft, so my editor still needs me to—"

"I opened up to you about my fiancée's death, 'n you just turned around and wrote an article about it?" His quiet voice was heavy with hurt.

"It's not about that. It doesn't even mention Martha, and my editor doesn't know about any of that," she pleaded. "My source doesn’t know about her, so nobody else has to. But there are people out there trying to crush your campaign who know about your struggle with addiction. The information’s out there; it’s only a matter of time before someone goes public with it."

“So you figured you may as well fast-track destroyin’ my reputation? You wanna tell the whole world who I was in my weakest moments?”

“Wouldn’t you rather the story be written by someone sympathetic to what you’ve been through?” she asked. “If I withhold the source from my editor, she can’t run the story, I lose my job, and some asshole who wants to see you suffer casts this all in a much harsher light.”

“All I’m askin’ for is time,” he pleaded. “We’re in the middle of the primaries; if this comes out now, I’m through.”

“I’ve delayed it for as long as I can. My editor wants a final draft by the end of next week.”

“The end of next week,” he repeated softly, looking down at the counter. His teeth were gritted; his jaw tense, but he was eerily still. Y/N felt sick. “You asked me to come here to apologize and tell me you cared about me just so that you could, what, feel better about yourself before you stabbed me in the back?”

“I felt bad about how we left things.”

“And this is so much better.” His voice was harsh, thick with irony as he looked up at her. “You’re unbelievable, you know that? You have some goddamn audacity, trying to make peace with me knowing damn well you just wrote an article that’s gonna destroy everything I’ve been working for.”

“This isn’t going to kill your career. It won’t even kill your campaign; the primaries are almost over, and you’ve won. You’re the candidate; take your victory lap,” she said, and the source of the indignation in her voice was hard to pin down. “I’ve been writing articles for months in opposition to your presidential run, and you never cared. We even laughed about it. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that there’s finally some news that might make a dent.”

“This isn’t the same thing, and you know it,” he snapped, rising from his seat as his hand hit the countertop. His mug clattered against the surface.

“And what’s so different? I’ve said the harshest things about your career that I could think of; no matter how bad it got, you were still texting me on Friday nights asking me to come over.”

“This isn’t about my career. This is about me.” The words were firm, and he looked Y/N dead in the eye as he said them. “You don’t care about me; you care about climbin’ corporate ladders ‘n being national news. Nobody who really cared would be able to hear about what I’ve been through ‘n capitalize on it.”

“It’s not like that, Thomas, I—”

“Don’t call me,” he cut her off abruptly as he buttoned his coat. “Don’t text me, don’t talk to me, and don’t come near me. I’ve had enough of this goddamn game you’ve been playing, and I’m done having this conversation over and over again where I give you the benefit of the doubt n’ all you do is remind me that I’m expendable.”

“Wait, don’t—”

“I said I’m done,” he said. “And we’re done. You… you need to take a long, hard look at yourself before letting anybody else into your life.”

Y/N could barely speak with the lump building in her throat. She could barely breathe. Her eyes stung as she looked up at him, and she was afraid to move. All she could manage, her voice hoarse, was, “I’m sorry.”

“Goodbye, Y/N.”

When he walked out, he didn’t look back.

[bullet-prooflove]

Self Reflection: Will Halstead x Reader

Tagging: @proceduralpassion @crazy4chickennuggets @callsignartemis @kmc1989 @cosmic-psychickitty @rosaliedepp @annieradcliff @zepskies @drunkangels @zaidatorcuatomorgado @gummybabey @mrspeacem1nusone @sowrongitslottie @s1lverhand @mysoulisasunflower @thebewingedjewelcat @luckyladycreator2 @zephyrmonkey @bluecrush129 @anime-weeb-4-life @legit9thlunaticwarrior @upsteadlogic @nu1freakshow @whovianwholikesgirls

Part of the “Moment of Madness” Series:

Companion Piece to:

Done: - Will tells Jay he’s done.

Smoke Break - Will can't stand to see you with another man.

Prequel to:

Perfume - Will realises he’s not the only one who still has feelings.

Stand Up - Will decides to take a stand in the middle of your wedding ceremony.

Moment of Madness - Will and you dicuss the wedding.

It’s only after Will’s undertaken therapy that he realises that he’s rewritten your history. When he looks back at your relationship, especially over those last few months he realises how much of a bad partner he really was. He had blamed you for his failures, for his moods, he didn’t have issues but clearly you did.

He sees how wrong he was when he starts to address them with Doctor Charles. He’s been battered down over the years by his father, his job, the women in his life. His sense of self-worth eroded to nothing.

Why are you punishing yourself? You had asked him at one point.

He never saw his own emotional state like that, he was simply getting what he deserved.

Now he understands that his father had narcissistic traits, that Will became his whipping boy until he broke away. He doesn’t know how he had the strength to do that because truly, there are usually only two ways children of a narcissist go and for such a long time he was completely embroiled in his father’s narrative.

He tells you these things when the two of you meet up at Molly’s. He’s the one that finally breaks the code of silence between the two of you, reaching through the no man’s land that he created.

It doesn’t change anything, not really. You’re still engaged to another man. Will wishes that wasn’t the case but it is.

“I don’t want anything from you.” He tells you. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry, that you were right, I needed to get some help.”

You lean back in your chair. There’s an ache in your chest, you can feel it spreading through your arms and shoulders because the only thing you have ever wanted for Will is to be happy, to get healthy. It’s taken the demise of your relationship to get him there. It hurts more than you care to admit, there’s a grief building up inside of you because you wish you could have undertaken the journey with him, supported him, instead of ending up on the path that you’re on.

Will sees the emotion in your features, his brown eyes soften as his hand comes to rest on yours.

“It wasn’t your fault.” He says. “I needed the wake-up call and you leaving was it.”

He doesn’t understand.

You can’t tell him that every day when you wake up next to Matt, you forget for a second that he’s not Will, that every time you roll over your heart sinks a little. You can't say that it’s him you think of when Matt fucks you, the things the two of you have done together in the dark and it gets you off much quicker than anything Matt has ever done. You can’t tell him that despite the fact it’s been a year that you still love him, that you never stopped loving him.

“I’ve gotta go.” You say quietly, pulling your hand out from underneath his and snatching your jacket up from the back of the chair.

When you step out into the night, you feel the tears streak down your cheeks, and you know that you’ve made one of the biggest mistakes of your life.

Love Will? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[awkwardchaosposts]

Wildflower

Niragi x fem!reader (childhood friend to enemies to lovers?)

TW!: mentions of stereotyping and fetishizing people based off their race,swearing,Niragi is niragi

/⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\/⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\/⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\/⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\/⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\/⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\/⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\

Niragi was surprised to see you here as well. He knew your parents moved to the US in the 8th grade. But he never expected to go to the same school.

He smirked,approaching you after the register period.

You noticed him at the corner of your eye,pretending to just not notice.

"So this is where you've been hiding"

You rolled your eyes at his comment. "Am I supposed to be scared or something?"

Your comment kind of bruised his ego

"Whatever"

~*~*~*~*

You already didn't like school but now that Niragi was here. Well it was the kind of coincidence that you weren't hoping for.

You still couldn't understand what happened to this guy. You once were close friends but out of the blue this asshole decided to just be well...an asshole.

"Konichiwa"

You were brought out of your own thoughts. Met face to face with one of your classmates. Matthew Broderick. One of the biggest weebs in school.

One of the things you hated more than Bullies were people treating your race like an exciting accessory.

"I can speak English you know? Matthew we talked about this."

"Oh- sorry. You're just so kawaii"

You had to resist the urge to roll your eyes.

Matthew cleared his throat. "Anyways. I uh I was wondering if you'd want to go sight seeing. Show you around town you know"

You thought for a moment or so. It's times like these where you wished there was a step by step guide to reject someone without pissing them off.

"Hasn't she lived here for what? 2 years now? I think she'll be fine" Niragi answered for you,wrapping an arm around you.

Cocky bastard. You rolled your eyes,shrugging his arm off of you.

"Nani?" Matthew stared at him

"I mean- What? Y/N I didn't know you have a boyfriend?"

"I don't"

"She does"

You both answered at once and you stared at him in disbelief.

You held your composure until Matthew left. Feeling embarrassed for once.

"Why are you helping me?"

He scoffed,rolling your eyes at his comment. "I felt sorry for you. Seems the US has made you more pathetic than you were before"

"If that's so then why did you move here?"

He didn't like your response,looking away.

"I didn't choose to be here. My mom did. Besides" He flashed a devilish grin "Who said I was helping you out?"

You only stared at him with confusion, slightly threatened.

That satisfied him. He leaned in too much for your liking, invading your personal space.

"I'm going to show everyone who you really are. A two-faced bitch. And I won't stop until everyone fucking hates you"

/⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\/⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\/⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\/⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\/⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\/⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\/⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\

A/N: Why do you think Niragi is mad at Y/N?

[allfleetingdreams]

LORR RAIDEL

Lorr is an old OC of mine from 2010, a result of me being one of the biggest weebs back in the day lmaooo

I have not seen my old writing of his story for a decade now and so I barely remember his background, but!! He's supposed to be an assassin sent on a mission to take down 12 enemies - the Zodiac signs personified called the Brothers & Sisters - because they spread evil all over the land, but in reality it's to stop him from learning the truth that he is the 13th brother, the unspeakable one, Ophiuchus, the Serpent Bearer. Traitor of the family, but for good reasons. He can never do what he was told because that meant he was harming people. He was sent on this mission alongside an archbishop, a priestess, and another assassin he eventually becomes involved with but in reality he has fallen for the priestess - but he is avoiding her because he's involved in a dark past that caused the priestess to lose her family, although she doesn't know that.

I don't think this is a story I will revisit in the future because of how incredibly convoluted and downright ridiculous it is, but I love it despite its cringy nature, and I wouldn't be where I am today as a writer if not for this story! This is actually the second one I've finished. I've yet to talk about the first story I have ever written and finished - if I have the guts to reveal that much more preposterous mess 😂

But even though I may never rewrite the story again, I'd love to draw Lorr more in the future. Yes, his name doesn't make sense. Please forgive 14 year old me. They were just trying to have a good time even when they were bullied for being such a weirdo. Proud to say I'm still a big fucking weirdo.

[piedpiperslists]

hi! can you recommend some

nerd tae/jk x reader

nerd tae/jk x nerd reader

academic rivals with tae/jk?

Hi. I've answered similar asks for a nerd and academic rivals recs already but I'll provide the same list below just with a few additions.

* s - contains smut sm - social media format

N E R D

Jungkook:

[drabble] by candlewaxandp0lar0ids - drabble / fratboy!Jungkook, nerd!reader, friends to lovers, college au

Chasing Butterflies by ddaenggtan - one shot (s) / wc~12.8k / otaku!Jungkook, jock!reader Summary: You never meant to be a jock in school. The volleyball team had just needed people and you were there and then you had a knack for it. You just happened to be good at it and went with it. Similar to how you saw Jeon Jungkook in your friend’s orientation group and thought he was absolutely radiant and just went with it. For two years. You’ve spent the entire time pining from afar, mostly because you always seem to make a fool of yourself when he’s around, but also because Jungkook is part of that exclusive crowd, the ones that you never can seem to penetrate: the weebs. That is, until your friends get sick of your hopeless pining and decide to do something about it.

Close the Distance by hearts4joon - one shot (s) / wc~13.5k / nerd!Jungkook, neighbors au Summary: Two different adults, living two completely separate lives — in the same neighborhood. A guy who’s overbearing mother makes him carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. A girl who’s parents are all too drawn to her younger siblings to even give her the time of day. While the two fall in an unlikely relationship (very unlikely), they still ravish each and every part of one another in every way — the best of attention, the one they both craved all their lives.

Cold Nights & Blurred Lines by awrkive - one hot (s) / wc~26.5k / basket player!Jungkook, nerd!reader, FWB, college au Summary: Jungkook and you have been keeping a sexual relationship with each other for four months now, and it’s casual for the most part. But as time passes, you can’t help but feel that some of the lines suddenly got blurred in the process. Is it a cliché to blur the lines with your fuck buddy? It definitely is. Will you do something about it? Both of your emotional constipation have a hard time saying yes.

Like I Want You by divinelyparkjimin - one shot (s) / wc~5.4k / nerd!Jungkook, friends to lovers, college au Summary: Setting your nerdy best friend up with a girl from your class was the biggest mistake you ever made.

Little Library Girl by kooksgalaxy - one shot / wc~5k / college au Summary: Jungkook is the star quarterback of his college, but he has to keep his grades up in order to continue to play. With calculus being his hardest subject, he is tutored by Y/n, someone who is the complete opposite of him. With stress rising with the upcoming championship, his feelings for Y/n are making things much more complicated. Take the glory of football, a little library girls, and throw in a malicious opponent… you’ve got a whole lot of trouble.

For Science by boymeetsweevil - series (s) / nerd!Jungkook, friends to lovers, FWB, college au Summary: Jungkook asks you to let him watch you get off. For science.

Lunchbox Lovers by jiminrings - series / stem major!Jungkook, cold senior!reader Summary: Cold senior!Y/N having a crush on shy stem major!Koo.

Only Fools by yonkimint - series (sm) / nerd!reader, college au Summary: Y/N has been in love with Jungkook since their Chemistry class freshman year but he’s got so many girls after him, he’d never give her the time of day. Besides, she’s his best friend’s nerdy cousin so she’s off limits anyway. Right? Throw in a costume party, a catfish, and a whole lot of crackhead and see if these fools ever find their way to each other.

Taehyung:

Of Cliches and Romcom Tropes by vanaera - one shot / wc~10.1k / nerd!reader, college au Summary: You find yourself literally living a classic Romcom trope by being the nerdy introvert in love with her unexpected friend, Kim Taehyung, your university’s golden theater boy and campus heartthrob. It only turns more disgustingly cliché when you learn he part-times as a prince actor in the same carnival where you work as a ticket booth attendant. Trusting on the clichés you’ve watched in numerous Romcom films, you embark on a plan to get your crush to like you back this Halloween.

Insomnia | Delirious | Just Relax, Dummy | Surprise by hobiwonder - series (s) / fuckboy!Taehyung, nerd!reader, college au Summary: You can’t sleep.

A C A D E M I C R I V A L S

Jungkook:

21st Century Love by gukyi - drabble / enemies to lovers, college au Summary: You and fellow film student Jeon Jungkook have been clashing heads all semester in your realistic fiction and 21st century film class, because Jungkook thinks that rom-coms are meant to express the beauty of love, and you think that they’re ploys by hollywood to tell people that they can achieve love by engaging in consumerism. But when you’re assigned to create your own stereotypical romantic comedy short film, Jungkook takes it upon himself to show you just how attainable love can really be.

10 Things I Hate About You by leviackermanscleaningbuddy - one shot / wc~4.9k / enemies to lovers, college au Summary: Enemies to Lovers. It's cliche right? You'd think so, until it happens to you. Then, suddenly, it doesn't seem quite so black and white anymore.

I Will Not Lose! by jimlingss - one shot / wc~6.2k / rivals to lovers, magic au Summary: A single bet - use every means to make Jeon Jungkook fall in love with you.

The Art of the Rom-Com by gukyi - one shot / wc~33k / enemies to lovers, college au Summary: FILM395, the art of the rom-com, was supposed to be an easy a with one of your favorite professors, but it’s not. it’s actually a sisyphean torture that comes in the form of fellow film student Jeon Jungkook, who has no problem responding to every one of your discussion posts about the consumerist ideals underlying every romance movie with his own paragraphs on the beauty of love like the hopeless romantic he is. and when the two of you find yourselves partnered up for your final project, which is to create a short film on rom-coms, jungkook decides to take it upon himself to show you what love is really like.

Sugar and Coffee by jimlingss - series / rivals to lovers, pâtisserie school au Summary: It isn’t hard to be a pâtisserie chef, but it’s not a piece of cake either. It seems like for you in particular, life keeps throwing in one wrench after another. It always finds ways to make your sweets bitter. The cherry on top is Jeon Jungkook — a rival with a sensitive sweet tooth who always finds ways to complain about you.

Taehyung:

Bibliothèque by joonbird - one shot (s) / wc~15k / rivals to lovers, college au Summary: “You are at the very top of your college cohort, an A grade student on the fast track to a life of success. You know the answers to everything, or at least you think you do. That is until you meet quirky genius Kim Taehyung.”

Kismesis by jjkthclub - one shot / wc~7.1k / rivals to lovers, fake dating Summary: After learning that your arch nemesis is staying at the same ski resort as you, you were determined to stick by your rule – avoid him at all costs. Or, does somebody wanna be fake engaged to me for like two hours to try free wedding cake samples! au.

Love Isn’t a Science by baepsaesbae - one shot (s) / wc~8k / enemies to lovers, college au Summary: Working in a lab was going smoothly until a cocky upperclassman decided to show up.

[crossfalconx5]

sav headcanons….. little guy

SAV MY FAVORITE LITTLE GOOBER!!!

-Still eats inanimate objects sometimes, just out of habit. Most malnourished half demon boy in the universe. His favorite is kinds of paper.

-Sees Siv as a step parent, NOT happy about it, Siv tries to tell him murdering people is against the law and he says shit like “YOURE NOT MY M O T H E R.” and then MOTHER scolds him for talking to his step parent that way and he grumbles about it.

-Probably owns a really expensive katana he uses for killing demons, it’s engraved with every religious symbol you could think of for more effective exorcisms. Though he got called a weeb for it once which lead him to never using it in public again out of shame.

-Biggest dachshund fan in the world, say something incorrect about the care of dachshunds and he will make your life hell. He also buys them little Hawaiian shirts to match him and the mannequins/model skeletons in his dingy ass apartment.

-CANNOT stand physical touch he will start shaking and sweating like a mad man if he had teeth he would BITE YOU.

-His organs are fucked up because he’s half demon, probably has a squeedly spooch for all I know.

[nrcnewspaperclub]

Part two of getting banned from every dorm

So idia is. Not as easy to find as most other housewardens. He does not leave his room like, ever.

I managed to catch ortho in the lounge and asked if I could speak to idia, to which ortho said I could just tell him whatever it was I wanted to tell idia. I told him it was somethinf I absolutely had to say to idia himself, to which ortho said he’d try his best to get me in contact with him. I then asked what Idia’s favorite anime is, I don’t remember how to spell the name it was some weeb shit (and I don’t wanna piss off other fans) so I’ll call it Some Anime.

Pls note I have never seen or heard of this anime in any capacity and my best friend is the 2nd biggest weeb in the whole school, second only to idia himself.

Anyway, ortho never got back to me. But I did run into idia on one of the three times he leaves his room in a month, he was in the kitchen pretty late at night getting snacks. I asked him why ortho wasn’t getting them for him but appearantly ortho was charging? Idk it was like 12am I was just getting some water cuz I have a normal sleep schedule and don’t eat Oreos by the box at 12am like some of us do

Obviously neither of us wanted to make small talk cuz we were both out of it as hell, but I managed to make an off handed, “hey aren’t you into Some Anime? I just finished it yesterday.” In reality I had skimmed the list of character names on google and vaguely memorized how many episodes there were and a brief summary, I don’t know shit abt the plot or any of the characters past their names.

When I tell you this mother fucker lit up, I almost felt bad for what I was abt to do cuz he looked more joyous than I’d ever seen him. He asked who my favorite character was to which I said the first one I thought of and he seemed generally nuetral on that character, I was hoping to pick someone he despised but oh well. I started simple, a “yeah I enjoyed it at first but the plot kinda got lost around episode 6”, to which he drops a “episode 6? That’s like the best one in the season.”

“I thought it was a bit fast paced… didn’t quite get the point across very well.”

To which we start bickering and he somehow has still not noticed that I have not seen this fucking show in my life, also I was stealing his Oreos here and there

He looked livid by the end, the tips of his hair were turning orange. Then I “accidentally” knocked his box of Oreos off the counter, spilling and/or breaking what was left. He looked like he was desperately trying to compose his temper and told me to go back to my dorm (literally told me to go to my room 💀) to which I said smth to effect of “yknow, I don’t think I wanna live under your roof anymore.”

So now, I am typing this from the hall of mirrors, in the middle of the night. I’ll probably head to Scarabia cuz I know a couple ppl there and they seem welcoming enough, but I am, as it stands, homeless, I think. Idk. Ortho will probably let me back in tmrw so idk if this is even a success but yeah

-🐾

you could’ve spared the Oreos. They did nothing wrong.

[sailorstarr-chan4]

40 Day Anime Challenge 2023 Edition - Day 1: Favorite Anime

Ten years ago, @risingfire17-the-weeb-trash and I did a 40 Day Anime Challenge on Facebook, and now we're doing it again on Tumblr! Here's the list of questions, if anyone wants to do their own! (Sorry, Kitty-chan, for my tardiness. I was stuck on this one for ages 😭)

Soooo the thing is, I can choose my favorite manga series EASILY, but favorite anime is more... complicated. Thus, I decided to do this: top 3 anime and top 3 manga, irrespective of each other.

Story synopses and long ramblings below read-more.

Top 3 Anime:

1. Inuyasha:

Synopsis: "The series begins with Kagome Higurashi, a fifteen-year-old middle school girl from modern-day Tokyo who is transported to the Sengoku period after falling into a well in her family shrine, where she meets the half-dog demon, half-human Inuyasha. After the sacred Shikon Jewel re-emerges from deep inside Kagome's body, she accidentally shatters it into dozens of fragments that scatter across Japan. Inuyasha and Kagome set to recover the Jewel's fragments, and through their quest they are joined by the lecherous monk Miroku, the demon slayer Sango, and the fox demon Shippō. Together, they journey to restore the Shikon Jewel before it falls into the hands of the evil half-demon Naraku." (Wikipedia)

Okay, look: my fanfic account and this blog are enough to tell you that I adore this stupid series lmao. But I also have a HUGE love-hate relationship with it. The story itself is pretty solid, with memorable characters, and a good mixture of darkness and lightheartedness to keep it engaging. But..... its biggest Achilles' Heel was introducing the Main Villain too early and overpowering him WAY too early and WAY too much. As a result, the story draaaaags its feet for the sake of The Plot continuing onward, and often character development is retracted (mainly in the anime versus the manga, but I digress). Is the manga objectively better? Sure, but the issues of canon remiain the same.

That said.... I still fucking LOVE Inuyasha.

It's fun to roast and equally fun to enjoy unironically, and the sad moments still make me openly SOB, and if there's one thing Rumiko Takahashi is good at is making characters stick in your mind. Even people I know who haven't touched the series in over a decade still remember it fondly. And the fandom produces STELLAR fanfiction, to the point where it very nearly ruined me from trying out other fics for the longest time lmao XDD

~

2. Ouran High School Host Club:

Synopsis: "The series follows Haruhi Fujioka, a scholarship student at Ouran Academy, and the other members of the popular host club. The romantic comedy focuses on the relationships within and outside the Club." (Wikipedia)

The ultimate Comfort Food Anime. This is my Pick-Me-Up series, where I rewatch a random episode or two and STILL laugh and feel better, every single time. Ironically, this is a lot of people's gateway anime (including me, to an extent lol), when it's actually FAR more enjoyable after you become a connoisseur of the anime/manga world, because the little nods, references, and satirical jabs of the romcom/harem genre is *chef's kiss* 🤣 It is simultaneously a love letter and scathing satire and I ADORE EVERY INCH OF IT. 😍😍😍

3. Clannad:

Synopsis: "The story follows the life of Tomoya Okazaki, from adolescence to adulthood. As an average high school student, he meets many people in his last year at school, including five girls whose individual problems he helps resolve, and his life is further detailed after graduating from high school." (Wikipedia, specifically on the video game, but it matches the anime)

DON'T ASK ME WHY I HAVE REWATCHED THIS DAMN TEARJERKER SERIES 6+ TIMES IT DOESN'T MATTER I JUST FUCKING ADORE IT OKAY?!? 😭😭😭

~~~~~

Top 3 Manga:

1. Vampire Knight:

Synopsis: "The story takes place in the prestigious Cross Academy, which is home to two distinct classes: The Day class, which applies to only humans, and the Night Class, which applies to only vampires that the day class is unaware. Much of the plot revolves around Yuki Cross, the headmaster’s adopted daughter, as she is being drawn into a conflict concerning the overall coexistence between humans and vampires and the twisted reality concerning his childhood friend Zero Kiryuu, who, despite having a hatred for vampires, is revealed to be slowly turning into one of their kind." (Wikipedia)

My first. My baby. My precious. 🥺�� Originally, I was going to only use this series for my Day 1 entry, but wanted the chance to highlight a few others lol. This series is Drama on Crack, absolutely Fucked Up, and Deliciously Angsty, and I fucking LOVE IT. This is the closest piece of "emo" media I ever adored in my teen years lmao (I more or less missed that train while the rest of my peers were onboard XD), and it's just.... near and dear to my heart. Also, this is the series that, upon rereading it in 2016, pushed me to confess my feelings to the love of my life, whom I'll be marrying this autumn 🥰 It is deeply personal to me, and more than just it being My Very First Manga Series.

~

2. Sailor Moon:

Synopsis: "The series follows the adventures of a schoolgirl named Usagi Tsukino as she transforms into the eponymous character to search for a magical artifact, the "Legendary Silver Crystal". She leads a group of comrades, the Sailor Soldiers, called Sailor Guardians in later editions, as they battle against villains to prevent the theft of the Silver Crystal and the destruction of the Solar System.." (Wikipedia)

Do I enjoy the 90's anime? Yes. Do I enjoy Sailor Moon Crystal? Hell yes. Do I love the manga above all? HELL TO THE FUCKING YES, THIS SERIES IS NEAR PERFECTION. 😍😍😍 (Except for a certain Plot Point in the Black Moon arc, but We Don't Talk About That...)

But seriously. While the friendships are arguably more memorable and fun in the 90's anime, everyone's characterization as a whole is a THOUSAND times better in the manga. Mamoru, Rei, Haruka & Michiru, etc are just a handful of characters who get the shaft in the 90's anime. The manga art is GORGEOUS and the story doesn't hold back on some darker imagery and concepts, and the passion between the lovers and friends is downright inspiring. If nothing else, this series is Iconic, but it's a shame that most people will only ever know the 90's DiC dubbed version lol.

~

3. Skip Beat!:

Synopsis: "It is the story of Kyoko Mogami, a 16-year-old girl who discovers that her childhood friend and romantic goal, Shotaro Fuwa, only keeps her around to act as a maid and to earn his living expenses, while he works his way to become the top pop idol in Japan. Furious and heartbroken, she vows revenge by beating him in show business." (Wikipedia)

The Only True Slow Burn. The slow burn that fanfiction WISHED it was capable of. The slow burn that ruined all other slow burns for me. This is the pinnacle. The crème de la crème of romantic slow burns. I fell in love with the anime in 2017, saw that "read the manga" cliffhanger ending, went "AW HELL NO" and immediately bought up a fuck-ton of the manga volumes lmao. I cannot emphasize how much this series makes me FEEL so many emotions. I've laughed out loud; I've squealed and fangirled hardcore; I've cried actual tears of grief. It's such an emotional rollercoaster, and I honestly respect the fuck for the mangaka for chugging along on this train for the past 20 years (and RESPECT to all original readers who are STILL GOING, LIKE HOLY SHIT????)

(And slight spoiler: no, the aforementioned asshole childhood friend is NOT the subject of said slow burn, though he does throw a wrench in the drama now and then lol)