#hes hilarious but id be the same way if someone flirted with me that much

[rachelsshowerthoughts]

I had the most hilarious Aware AU thoughts:

OK, so everything leading up to Origins is the same as discussed.

When Adrien stops to help Fu he's almost caught but Chloe was waiting outside & jumped in when Nathalie showed up and made a sufficient enough spectacle that Sabrina could grab Adrien and they bolt into the school.

Argument over seats ensues, Adrien & Nino making tentative friends.

Kagami is probably around but maybe not in this class. Gabriel is irritated but also figures that an Akuma attack is a good reason to force Adrien out of going to school & keeps Nathalie waiting. So he can't even head out to the arcade across the street.

This is all a big red flag to Nino when he hears & sees that yes, Adrien's bodyguard & his fathers assistant have basically parked outside the school to obsessively watch them all day.

Stuff happens, Ivan becomes an Akuma & in the chaos Adrien, Chloe & maybe Sabrina, grudgingly agree to go to the Agreste Mansion cos it is at least very heavily fortified. Minor argument with Nathalie but time is dead bodies with a giant rock monster around.

Anyway this means Adrien has company when he finds Plagg.

Fortunately the Kwami of Destruction is all in favor of teenage rebellion "Fuck yeah, stick it to the old people!" & has no issue ignoring that Chloe knows Adrien's identity, though they do work to cover it up a little bit when needed.

But, but, but, here's the fun part.

Chloe also becomes Chat Noir.

Not all the time but when its impractical for Adrien to do it she dons the ring. Both already having many aesthetic commonalities and a familiarity with each others personalities, the way the Glamour works & mild physical form changes when transforming and... No one notices, not even Fu!

Also both flirt with Ladybug, a lot.

This also helps keep a bit of a divide going once Fu is discovered, because Adrien shares details on the book with at least her, or potentially the entire "Shitty parents club". & this leads to knowing about Fu earlier and a more contentious relationship.

IE, he wants to take Plagg back, Plagg does not want to go back, they do not want Plagg to go back & they have enough information to make Fu's entire operation very fucking difficult.

Also the book may be found or stolen earlier.

Like Bubbler is a great time/excuse to trash the mansion for funsies ya know?

Obviously Marinette is not a fan of this whole... Everything, even if she doesn't get all the details or learn IDs, she respects authority figures and seniors, & though she might not want to lose Chat she doesn't think turning it into a contest of wills is the "Right" way to fix things.

Also I think Kagami might be Marinette's first pick for an extra ally which might happen sooner as Fu would want someone else more in line with his thinking on side.

This isn't a dig at Alya, but in Aware Marinette as technically known Kagami longer. Sees her as very respectful & dutiful, and has 100% seen her bravely try to throw down with Akuma to keep people safe.

Meanwhile the bee, or perhaps snake or tiger can still end up lost XD

Chat: Me, knowing the location of the Miraculous no one told me was missing? Its less likely than you think! Also Chat: Hey, new hero, we should definitely 100% accept this person & not question their identity!

One big difference between Fu & the other shitty adults, is that he's much more like Roger. IE, he is trying to do the right thing, genuinely does not want to bring anyone pain. He is just intensely paranoid & overly cautious tot he point where it can become harmful.

So, first of all, this is hilarious to me. Yes, absolutely, all of this.

second, I see your "Kagami is chosen by Marinette first", and raise you "As a body double". Like, I think part of why Alya gets picked to be the Fox was proximity - the Akuma was her little sisters, it was the middle of the night, she's already aware of the situation, Marinette trusts her and needs a teammate, boom, Alya gets to be the Fox. However, for Kagami, you're right, she does know her longer here, so probably trusts her more. So, I suggest learning about the "Cat Siblings" (this is Marinette's best guess, if she doesn’t have their identities, that the Chat Noir duo are siblings) gives Marinette ideas. Like, yes, Fu is clearly against it, but part of Marinette probably thinks "dammit, that’s such a good system, though!". How many times has she been screwed over because she had to be Ladybug, and completely fucked up her schedule? There being TWO people to be Cat Noir, while not ideal, is still better for Cat Noir in general. Not that Marinette would EVER do something like that, once the Guardian makes his stance clear! Oh no, absolutely not!

Which, uh, doesn’t mean she hasn’t THOUGHT about someone else to let borrow the earrings in an emergency, OR that she hasn’t thought about Kagami specifically, OR that she hasn’t quietly discussed it with Tikki (in hypotheticals) what to do if she's taken out! So (my best guess for what happens) when Marinette comes down with a particularly nasty flu, and can't even stand up without feeling dizzy, she actually doesn’t think that long before calling up Kagami, like, "uh, hey, weird question, do you think you could take over being Ladybug for me? I can taste colours, and not in the fun way."

Of course, Kagami does it, and because she's VERY different from Marinette (personality-wise) while the public is fooled thanks to the Glamour, Cat Noir is "uh, excuse me? Who are you???", and Kagami has to awkwardly explain that your regularly scheduled Ladybug currently has a fever of one hundred and four, and can't really leave the bathroom right now, so she's filling in. After it’s all over, she quickly leaves to give Marinette the earrings back (maybe drop off some medicine?), and Cat Noir(e) is left feeling, like, "ha, maybe the old man will get off our backs now, Ladybug clearly agrees with us!"

Which. Uh. Yeah, no, that doesn’t really happen. Maybe Ladybug's just better at explaining it, (or Fu is just a little prejudiced against the Cat in particular, I imagine the Order weren’t Plagg’s biggest fans, Fu probably internalized a lot of their shit), but he's . . . not OKAY with Ladybug sharing her ID and position with another person, but much more understanding. If Marinette was really that sick, then going out as Ladybug would have been seriously detrimental to both her and the fight against Hawk Moth. And there NEEDS to be a Ladybug in every fight, to purify the Akuma. Yes, Fu would rather she hadn’t done it, but it was clearly the right decision at the time, so Fu will trust Marinette on this. He still doesn’t recommend doing it too often, but a back up Ladybug is clearly a good idea.

Well, this means that Back Up Cat is good too, right? Nope! Still salty about them, still thinks one of them should knock it off, still thinks he should take the Miraculous back!

Yeah, you can imagine how this is going down with the Cat Noir(e) Duo. ESPECIALLY because this is the Aware Kids. It’s every instance of favouritism, of "unexceptional", of "not good enough". Congrats Fu, you just got knocked into "Adults we DO NOT trust"! You already had a foothold, now you get a proper seat!

On the flip side, I see this as where Marinette starts questioning Fu a little more. Because for all her black and white mentality, all her naïveté, the double-standard is GLARING. She's spent the past few months watching the battle of Wills that is Cat Noir(e) Vs Fu. She was expecting a HELL of a talking to once she wasn't throwing up her stomach. Instead, she gets mild disappointment at the SITUATION, general understanding, and even gets COMMENDED for her reasoning and quick reaction to the situation. Which makes her go "waitwait,wait, wait, hold the FUCK up", because what? What the HELL? Why is it ok if SHE does the thing that Fu's been railing against, but not Cat Noir(e)? Good grief, shouldn’t it have been a worse decision? The Cat Noir(e) Duo at least started at roughly the same time. They've been training and getting better alongside her. Now that Marinette's no longer fever-fogged, she's thinking it honestly would have made more sense to have Tikki take the earrings, and go find one of the duo to be a replacement Ladybug. They would have at least had some idea what they were doing! But no, instead she sent a friend, who had barely any idea, to do the job. And that's . . . . fine? What? And DON'T say it’s cause Ladybug needs to be there to purify the Akuma, Marinette knows she NEEDS back up! If anything, the Cat Noir(e) Duo was always kind of a comfort to her, cause she knew she was always likely to have SOMEONE there to support her. Fu so clearly showing favouritism is a hit to Marinette's view of all authority figures being kind and reasonable, making her start questioning him a bit more. Which, ya know, is probably needed.

On Fu himself, yes, he is very much like Roger. I'm not sure on how the particulars work out, since we have no idea what Roger's home life was like as a kid, but I've been operating under the adage "nothing exists in a vacuum". Roger didn’t spring forth fully formed with his opinions on "serving the public (toxic)", he had to learn that somewhere. Someone taught him those views, which he's passing onto Sabrina. And we SEE, at least partially, Fu getting taught his paranoia - if not from the Order itself, from the incident that took the Order away, which Fu probably feels a lot of guilt for. Which, as far as I can tell, he's managing by doubling down on the few teachings he had. Don’t give out IDs. Always put the Miraculous back in the box, don’t let them out. Don’t let the Kwami know any secrets.

Unfortunately, much like Roger, I feel like Fu also needs to see his stubbornness blow up in his face before he realizes he's fucking up.

[thevastnessof]

It's funny that everyone loves lucifer as soon as they have a conversation with him and then chloe's just like "i am literally going to kill you if you keep talking"

[lots-o-stuff]

requesting to show support so feel free to ignore!! how about oikawa with a reader who is equally as flirty as he is and has boys fanning over her like he does? thank you bby!

Oikawa with a flirty fem S/O

Holy crap!!! AHHHH!!! Ok I just want too say a huge thank you too @gemswrites!! this is my first request and I honestly didn't think id be getting one so soon!! i legit started screaming and jumping up and a down like an idiot when i saw it. So anyway now we have Oikawa with a Flirty fem S/O

ok so this petty bitch, we all know he is a flirty bastard, like its old news, I mean he has a fanclub and everything

but i also believe he gets jealous very easily and very quickly, so thats probably another reason including volleyball why that his previous girlfriends have left him

AND THEN, YOU come along, you and YOUR fanclub, technically you weren’t there to talk to him, you were there to see coach but irrelevant

SO you go to see coach and give him a note that one of your teachers asked you to give when you turn around and run smack bang into Iwaizumi bare with me i have a plan

N E ways, you run into Iwaizumi and fall straight on your ass, the whole team sees this,  and are fucking losing it

so you get up and you are fuming, i mean anyone could tell that you are angry, but all you do is smile, wave and walk out of the gym

So the next day you are still annoyed about being embarrassed yesterday and your fanclub notices this, mainly because you are trying to get away from them instead of flirting with them

and this is where our hero comes in

so Oikawa sees that this ‘poor helpless’ girl is being bothered, so he grabs your hand and runs

you are halfway across the school when he finally stops, you are extremely confused and frazzled

And before Oikawa can even begin to explain himself, you are switching between asking why he did that, thanking him and… wait are you flirting with him?

so you run, not out of embarrassment or anything but because you are halfway across the school, far from the entrance gate and you need to get home, so you book it out of there

Oikawa goes to the gym for afternoon practice and he is extremely confused, i mean he saved a pretty girl from being harassed and then she flirted???

like what?

i mean he does get flirted to a lot by girls but a girl he finds really pretty? he is S H O O K

So he’s in the gym and everyone notices something off, why? because he is quiet!

and as much as they want to relish in the quiet they know something is up, and who has to deal with it?

Iwa-chan

So Iwaizumi takes Oikawa off to the side to talk and Oikawa just spills

he tells him everything and how he thinks he might actually like someone

And Iwaizumi starts laughing, i mean he is losing it

Oikawa is absolutely offended because he just spilled all his thoughts and Iwaizumi is laughing

but then he explains

the girl thats got Oikawa all confused is the same girl that literally ran into Iwaizumi

so they hatch a plan, the next day they would go up and talk to you, and apologize, Iwa for running into you and Oiks for literally dragging you halfway across the school

Its the next day and you are back to your usual self, your near the front of the school being your flirty self and talking with you fanclub

Oikawa marches up to you, grabs your hand again, and pulls you off to the side, where he then apologises for yesterday and well, just then

you just start giggling, which makes Oikawa blush, his flirty facade completely gone with you

he’s stuttering out words trying to, honestly you don't know what he was trying to say but you just look at him and tell him

“How about you make it up to me pretty boy, meet me here for lunch?”

AND THEN WALK AWAY

Iwaizumi walks up to Oikawa and sees him blushing so fucking hard, he looks like a tomato

Oikawa just turns to Iwa and says “she called me pretty”

so you two meet up for lunch and you get to know each other, you both had to sit in a secluded room to avoid you guys’s fans

it then happens again the next day, and then the next, and then the next

and after about 3 weeks of meeting up for lunch Oikawa pops the question

no he isn't proposing

he asks you out on a date, and ill tell you what, he wasn't expecting you to  l a u g h  at HIM

your trying to stutter out in between giggles that you thought thats what you had been doing everyday for lunch

This boy would be so confused and then jump up from his seat before declaring that he’d take you on a proper date and that it would be the best one you’ve ever had

So fast forward to your date that friday night, this man takes you out to a really cute cafe and then takes you too see a movie pretty cliche i know but its pretty late when the movie finishes so he takes you out to an empty park and stargazes with you

by the end of the date he is dropping you off at home and before you can go inside

YOU pull him into a kiss, you beat oikawa by like 3 seconds

You probably hold that over him for ages

Anyway after you both break away from the kiss he asks you to be his girlfriend

So on the saturday you wake up and see a text from Oikawa asking if you wanted to meet up again

you guys do and you just hang around your house talking, watching shows, playing games and overall just enjoying eachothers company

come monday no one knows about you two, not your friends, not oikawa's friends, and ESPECIALLY not your guys’s fan club

so you are both walking into school together holding hands, laughing and teasing each other

this causes everyone around you too do a double take because the two school flirts?? are flirting?? with??? each other?!?!?!

*cue hysteria*

by the end of the day everyone knows, because neither of you are really trying to keep it a secret and the team find it hilarious

why?

because your fans look so depressed and it’s amusing to everyone else (especially since yahaba was in yours)

when you go to actually meet the team, matsuhana flirt, and flirt and flirt

they just keep flirting with you and worse?

YOU keep flirting back

this makes oikawa get very pouty, to the amusement of the team

and he decides to be petty, he ignores you afterward

so your there trying to get his attention and he just straight up ignores you, doesn’t make excuses or anything either

so you go up to him, in front of the WHOLE team and kiss him, hard

let’s just say this attention seeking bastard might start faking being jealous now…

iwaizumi never did end up apologizing for running into you

Anyway I seriously hope i fulfilled your expectations! i was checking during editing and this is my longest post so far! Please guys if you have requests don't be shy! i'm really friendly and will do almost anything!

[chimchimsauce]

Allure

Commission for @bangtansnight​

WC: ~ 3500

I hope you enjoy it! Due to Corona, I will be opening commissions again since school is canceled. Please dm me for more info.

Famous producer Namjoon and rising star Jungkook are working together to promote Jungkook’s new album Allure. Unfortunately, the two of them can’t stand each other. Good thing there’s a new intern around who’s not afraid to put either of them in their place.

The sound of the large clock on Namjoon’s studio’s wall is nearly deafening in the silence, each tick seeming to echo through the room. He frowns, gets up from his chair, and walks to his backpack which he slung on top of his small couch, rummaging through until he finds the headache medicine he was so desperately craving. He takes it dry, not chasing it with water as he should. Once the two pills have forcibly made their way down his throat he checks his phone, curing under his breath.

In half an hour, that annoying prick Jungkook will be here at his studio. If someone had told Namjoon a year ago that he’d be producing the next mixtape of his favorite indie musician, he would have been ecstatic. But that joy quickly faded when he realized how arrogant Jungkook was. Sure, he was incredibly talented and had a voice that would tempt angels out of Heaven, but his personality is borderline intolerable. And while Jungkook’s mixtape is one of Namjoon’s proudest moments, he can’t wait until it’s over and he doesn’t have to see Jungkook’s stupid face nearly every day anymore.

Someone knocks softly on his door, snapping him out of his slightly mopey thoughts.

“Come in,” he barks out, wishing Jungkook would have rescheduled today like he did a million times during production.

The door creaks open to reveal an unfamiliar figure holding a steaming cup of coffee.

“Sorry to interrupt,” she says politely, “But your manager asked me to bring this to you,”

She steps into the room and outstretches her hand, ready to hand the beverage over. Namjoon doesn’t move to take it, however, instead simply staring at her skeptically

“Who are you?” he asks rudely.

He hasn’t seen her around before and it certainly wouldn't be the first time a crazed fan broke into the company to try and meet him. God, the lengths people will go to!

“Oh,” she begins, “My name is Céron. I’m the new intern,”

“What happened to Mika?” Namjoon asks, still suspicious.

“She apparently got a job offer elsewhere. I was hired as her replacement about three weeks ago.”

Namjoon looks her over, eyes carefully falling on every inch of her from the work appropriate sensible heels to her black slacks and white button-up. She’s a bit taller than average and has some noticeable curves, as well. Overall, she doesn’t look threatening.

Céron pulls at the simple black cord around her neck, tugging her employee ID out from under her shirt.

“You can have a look at this if it makes you feel better. Or I can go ask my manager to have someone else bring you coffee,” she says in that same polite, slightly uninvolved tone.

Before Namjoon can speak up and tell her that it’s fine, a very flashily dressed Jungkook turns the corner and strolls towards the open studio door.

“Ey yo, Namjoon!” he shouts as he approaches, looking ridiculous in his gigantic white furry coat, “My main man!”

Jungkook brushes past Céron without even looking at her, snatching Namjoon’s coffee before taking a sip and cringing instantly.

“Oh God, that’s awful,” he says, face all screwed up in an expression Namjoon finds hilarious.

“Not so cool now, huh?” the producer thinks, winking at the slightly baffled intern still standing at the door.

“That you for the coffee, new intern,” he says, already forgetting her name.

“Can you get me a grande, iced, sugar-free, vanilla latte with soy milk? Oh and make sure you don’t go to Starbucks, they never get it right. There’s an indie coffee shop like forty minutes from here that does it justttt right. Okay? Thanks!” Jungkook says, smiling at Céron with a grin so bright and charming that she almost forgets how pretentious he sounds.

“Well?” Jungkook prompts once it’s clear that the intern is a little starstruck.

“Oh, yes, right away!” she says, turning around quickly to make her way out despite having no clue where that coffee shop he said to go to is.

As the door closes behind her, Jungkook’s smile fades as he flops down on the couch pushed against the studio wall. He places his still shoe clad feet on the fine fabric, rolling his head to the side with one arm propped behind his neck. 

“Where’s Mika?” Jungkook asks Namjoon.

In the weeks that they’ve been working together, Jungkook has made it his personal mission to flirt with each and every female employee who works in Namjoon’s company. The producer is one hundred percent positive he’s doing it just to annoy him.

“Can you be professional for once?” Namjoon says, swiveling his chair around to face Jungkook and ignoring his question, “And get your feet off of my couch! Who raised you?!”

“Your mom,” Jungkook says, as he sits up, sticking his tongue out at him, “And of course I can be professional.”

He crosses his legs and sits up straight.

“See?”

Namjoon rolls his eyes.

“Whatever. Let’s just get down to business, alright? The tracks are done, all that’s left is promotion. My team has drawn up a schedule, so all I need to do is go over it with you and finalize everything.”

“Fine, fine,” Jungkook says dismissively, “Let’s get it over with.”

By the time Céron makes it back to the studio with Jungkook’s crazy expensive coffee (seriously, who pays twenty dollars for one coffee?) Namjoon is ready to rip Jungkook’s soft locks out of his head. He’s shot down every suggestion Namjoon has come up with and has offered up nothing in return.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Namjoon shouts so loudly that Céron hesitates outside of the door, knuckles just grazing the wood.

“No one told you to go pick those dates. You should have spoken to me first,” Jungkook’s voice wafts through gently

He’s speaking as if he's addressing a young child.

“You know what?” Namjoon’s voice grows in volumes.

Céron decides that she’s heard enough. She knocks loudly on the door, interrupting their fight before it can really get going.

“Your coffee is here,” she says politely as if she hadn’t heard anything.

“Thank you,” Jungkook says politely, grabbing the coffee and immediately beginning to down it.

“I hope you choke,” Namjoon bites out bitterly, causing Céron to gasp.

In the short time that she’s been working in this company, Namjoon has never been so rude to any of his clients. Each time she passed him in the hallway or saw him interacting with a client or staff member, he always seemed so polite. She wonders what could have irritated him enough to be so mean to Jungkook.

“Hey, Intern,” Jungkook says, ignoring Namjoon’s remark, “I have a question for you.”

“Okay . . .” she says, suddenly aware that she's under his eagle-eyed stare.

Jeon Jungkook is an extremely popular new artist with a fanbase devoted to his unique sound and his gorgeous face. He has the same level of star power as other celebrities years his senior and he knows it. That cockiness shows in every inch of his being from the expensive clothes he wears to the way he walks by people, head straight and never paying anyone else any mind.

But now she’s at the center of Jungkook’s attention and she doesn’t know how to feel about it. Slight unease washes over her.

“Tell me,” he says loftily, “Do you think it’s unreasonable for me to protest a promotion schedule if it was created without my input?”

“Well . . .” 

“Oh, get over yourself, Jeon,” Namjoon snaps before Céron can even get her sentence out, “our team was the one who refused to contribute. Don’t act like this was something I did to spite you. If anything, it’s the other way around.”

Céron feels very much as if she just walked into a war zone based on the way the two men are glaring at each other.

“So tell me,” Namjoon continues, staring at her, “Who do you think is being unreasonable? Since Jungkook dragged you into this, you tell us whose being the difficult one and we’ll stop arguing.”

For several moments, Céron doesn’t speak at all. Jungkook is sure that she’s entirely overwhelmed by being in this situation and is about to protest when she speaks up.

“If I can be honest with you,” she says, slightly afraid of losing her job. She continues when Namjoon and Jungkook both nod at her to finish, “I think both of you are in the wrong.”

“What?” Jungkook asks, nearly spilling that expensive coffee over himself in shock.

“You’re joking!” Namjoon shouts.

Céron shakes her head.

“It would be obvious to anyone that the two of you don’t seem to get along well. But regardless of that fact, you’re both professionals with a job to do. It honestly seems like you’re getting nowhere. I’m surprised that an album was produced in the first place with all this bickering.”

The two men are completely shell shocked. Neither of them quite know what to say. But once the words start flowing, Céron can’t bring herself to stop. She’s always been incredibly aware of herself and her surroundings and often points them out to other people. It’s what makes her so good at her job - what made her get hired to replace a well trusted and respected assistant even though she’s still just an intern.

“Namjoon, you seem unusually hostile. In the time I have been working here, I’ve only seen you be kind and polite to people. Honestly, you’re turning into a bit of a monster.”

Jungkook is smirking at the other man but he soon turns stoic as Céron turns her sights on him.

“And you,” she says, “I don’t know you personally, so I can’t speak on behalf of your character. But I can say that you come off as being an incredibly arrogant diva who thinks the sun shines just for him. It’s really annoying and makes it hard to like you.”

Once she’s said her two cents, Céron stands in front of the two of them, half expecting to be scolded. It wouldn’t be the first time her mouth got her into trouble, though she’ll hopefully be able to talk herself out of it.

“Fair enough,” Namjoon says suddenly, “What was your name again?”

“Céron,” she says, voice strong.

“Céron . . . why don’t you sit in on the rest of this meeting and keep us both in line, hm? You’re absolutely right - we are both professionals,” he says, still shooting a glare at Jungkook, “And it is extremely important that we get this schedule all figured out. Do you have any objections, Jeon?”

Jungkook shakes his head and returns to the couch, fluffing his gigantic coat and sipping on the rest of his coffee. It’s obvious that Céron’s words affected him, even if he won’t be honest about it.

“Alright then,” Namjoon says, clapping his hands, “Let’s get on with it, shall we?”

He’s honestly exhausted from fighting with Jungkook all the time. If Céron can keep them from arguing by putting both of them in their places, Namjoon is all the happier for it. After all, it means that Jungkook will be out of his hair once and for all much sooner.

“Céronnnnnnnnnn” a voice whines, startling the assistant from her previous concentration.

She received the promotion after Namjoon insisted she become his new assistant after she mediated the scheduling meeting. He and Jungkook were actually able to get some work done and without disagreements dissolving into full-blown arguments.

“Yes, Jungkook,” she says without turning from her task, eager to write down all the things she needs to bring for today’s busy schedule before she forgets something.

Namjoon’s favorite water bottle, a lint roller for Jungkook, breath mints, an entire wardrobe change for the both of them, advance CDs for them to sign and give to the radio stations . . .

“Have you seen my -”

“Your phone is over there on that table,” Céron says, nodding her head in the right direction.

Jungkook frowns. He hates being interrupted more than almost anything and would normally throw a fit, but since it’s Céron, he’ll let it pass. It’s been two weeks since the schedule was finally adjusted and sent out. Thankfully, due to Namjoon’s popularity as a producer and Jungkook’s rising fame, they didn’t run into any problems getting appointments set such last minute.

More than anything, he's upset that Céron didn’t even turn to face him. He’d dressed up nicely and everything, although he’d lied to himself and said it was because of all the public appearances he and Namjoon are making today. No, he paid extra attention to his hair and clothes today because he wanted her to notice.

Jungkook’s never had any issues getting attention, not even before he got famous, but something about Namjoon’s assistant is different. She’s so bold and upfront and willing to put him in his place and it’s exciting. It makes her interesting, makes her worth vying for attention. He’s tried to flirt with her on several occasions, but Jungkook knows that she doesn’t take him seriously and it’s starting to piss him off. 

Trying not to stomp off like a child, Jungkook retrieves his misplaced phone and returns to Céron’a side, peeking over her shoulder.

“What are you doing?” he asks, leaning as close to her as he thinks he can get away with.

From an outsider's perspective, it’s obvious what he’s doing, but Céron is focused entirely on her list.

“Trying to make sure today goes off without a hitch. The first day of promotions is the most important.”

“Mmhm,” he says, leaning just a tad closer.

“Are you wearing a new cologne?” Céron asks suddenly, turning her head and noticing how close he is for the first time.

“Yes,” he says, nearly ecstatic that she’s finally looking at him, “Do you like it?”

“Not really, no,” she says, crushing his happiness only to bring it surging right on back when she continues, “Your other one is better. It smells more like you. Sweeter. It suits you really well.”

Something inside of the star warms considerably. Before he can say anything, though, a voice calls out.

“Stop flirting with my assistant, will ya?” Namjoon says, strolling up with his hands in his pockets.

“Oh hey, Joonie,” Céron says, looking at Namjoon right away and smiling.

Jungkook scowls. Since when are the two of them on nickname basis? And why does she smile at Namjoon instead of at him?

“Is that brat bothering you?”

“Oh he’s fine,” Céron says, nudging Jungkook playfully, “He just lost his phone and needed someone to find it.”

She goes back to making her list.

Hairbrushes, lip balm, chewing gum . . .

“Sureeee” Namjoon says, his tone telling Jungkook that he sees right through his little ploy, “Are you almost ready to head out? We should get going soon.”

All the other staff members from both Namjoon and Jungkook’s company are mulling about and doing last-minute tasks.

“You guys are due to leave in five minutes. I’ll be taking one of the vans with a few other workers and catch up when we arrive at the first station.”

Both Jungkook and Namjoon’s hearts sink to their stomachs. They’d both planned on getting her to ride with them.

“But -” Namjoon starts.

“The two of you should get going. We don’t need to get behind on our first stop. It’ll mess the rest of the day up.”

“But -” Jungkook pipes in.

“And I’ll make sure to bring snacks and phone chargers since we won’t have time to stop to rest or to get some real food until late tonight.”

When neither of them moves, Céron looks up and shoos them away playfully.

“I’ll see you both in less than twenty minutes,” she says.

“But how am I supposed to function without you?” Namjoon pouts.

He’s only half kidding. Céron is the best assistant he’s ever had, always there to handle whatever issues he may have. He honestly loves having her around. His heart may beat just a tad bit faster when she’s around, but he’d never admit it. Namjoon makes eye contact with Jungkook. They both look away quickly, not liking the expression on the other’s face. They don’t look so disappointed.

“You’ll be fine for twenty minutes, Joonie,” she pauses, “You too Kookie. Go before you two actually make us late.”

They walk away together, each of them having to go in the same direction.

“Kookie, huh?” Namjoon pesters, trying to get a rise out of Jungkook.

“Oh shut up,” the star says, cheeks blazing red.

It’s the first time she’s ever called him that. Jungkook is incredibly pleased to have earned a nickname of his own.

“You’re one to talk, Joonie,” he pokes back, sneering.

Now it’s Namjoon’s time to blush.

Céron was right. She’s not away from either of them for more than twenty minutes before they catch sight of her mulling around with the other staff at the radio station where their first interview is taking place. Jungkook wants to go say ‘hi’ and Namjoon wants to claim that he had a very difficult time indeed going without her help for twenty whole minutes, but they’re already being ushered into the recording room and given giant headsets. They have no choice but to wait until the interview is over to speak with her.

The ‘RECORDING’ sign above the door lights up red.

“I’m so glad you guys made Smile radio your first place on this promotion tour,” one of the MCs, a young man named Jimin says, “We’re so happy to get to talk about Jungkook’s new mixtape - Allure,”

“Thank you,” Jungkook says, tearing his eyes away from the glass Céron stands behind, giving him a thumbs-up, “I’m glad that it’s finally out! It’s really been a labor of love.”

As much as Namjoon still doesn’t like Jungkook, he has to agree with the younger’s words one hundred percent.

“There are twelve tracks on the album and they’re all amazing,” Jimin compliments, “Can you walk me through the production phase of these songs?”

“Well,” Namjoon says, taking over, “I usually have a couple of melodies stocked up in my computer just from messing around in my free time. Sometimes the artist I end up working with will vibe with one or more of them and that was the case this time around. Forever, the title track, had been sitting in my drafts for over a year when I let Jungkook listen to it.”

“Oh yeah,” Jungkook says, hopping in, “I already had a couple of the lyrics floating around in my brain before working with Namjoon and they just fit in so perfectly with what he showed me.”

Namjoon is the one looking through the glass now, noticing how focused Céron is on the interview. Everyone else is talking amongst themselves, already used to this sort of thing and not really caring anymore. After all, the interviews are almost all the same anyway.

But not her. Even though Céron let it spill that she’s actually a big fan of Namjoon’s work and thus has heard or watched almost every piece of media he’s released or been in, she watches intently, giving the two of them her full attention. It’s so endearing. She smiles and waves at him slightly.

“Isn’t that right Namjoon?” Jungkook says suddenly, startling Namjoon ever so slightly.

“Oh absolutely,” Namjoon says without missing a beat even though he has no idea what Jungkook and Jimin were talking about.

“And what was it like working with Namjoon for you, Jungkook?” Jimin asks, thankfully moving on from whatever the previous topic was, “I know you usually self produce all of your songs. Was it hard giving some of the control over to someone else.”

“Oh, he was great to work with,” Jungkook says, watching as Céron laughs to herself on the other side of the glass, the two of them sharing a secret.

He wishes he could hear the sound of it.

“He’s a very talented producer,” Jungkook continues, “And he’s produced music for some of the artists I look up to - V and Min Suga, for example. As I grow as an artist, I am presented with more opportunities that I never would have had before, like working with Namjoon. I know it’s all thanks to my lovely fanbase that I am where I am today, so I want to say a special thank you to all of my bunnies.”

Céron has to admit, Jungkook is quite a smooth talker. It reminds her of how dazzled he left her the first day they met, even if he was being a bit of a brat then.

Almost as if he’s reading her mind, Jungkook sends her a sly wink.

For the rest of the interview, the two men get easily diverted, playing with Céron through their answers and mannerisms, both falling a little bit deeper with every second that passes. And while they blunder over their words a bit more than usual, neither of them can say they’re upset about the distraction. 

[implodingcacti]

Hi, I worked graveyard at a hotel for 2 years.

Tonight’s my last night. I want to share some stories with you, because this job has been fucking wild.

When I interviewed for the job, my future GM asked if I was a good person (I said yes), complained about the American healthcare system for 30 minutes, and then hired me on the spot. That was my entire interview. He said he trusted me fully because my friend recommended me for the job.

This is the same friend who tried to get me to buy her cigarettes with a school ID because she had left hers at home. Our school IDs were printed on cardstock and laminated by the secretary. I told her it would not work because it looked like a shitty fake ID.

It did not work.

This surprised her.

Also the same friend who had a tan minivan, drove us to Starbucks during an off period in high school, almost crashed because she was smoking, and hit two people’s cars in the parking lot.

Love her.

The first employee I met got into an argument in front of me with her boyfriend. They fought loudly. Afterwards, she asked if I wanted a lollipop.

She got fired like a month afterwards because she took the money from the drawer. This was not the first time she had been fired for this.

I worked with a guy who I’m going to call S. S was a bald white guy who looked like a attorney who couldn’t leave his job. Or a depressed bank manager who’s wife divorced him. He was a very nice man.

I told him this one day on shift change. He thought this was fucking hilarious.

S also used to be a drug dealer. He got busted for selling drugs at this hotel years ago, went to prison, all that shit. My manager hired him after he got out. He thought this story was very funny.

We had a permanent resident named Joe. He was the nicest fucking guy. I chatted with him in the mornings when I set up breakfast. I miss him so much.

He doesn’t live at the hotel any more. This is depressing.

A man threatened to beat me up for flirting with his wife, because he saw us laughing in the lobby. I tried to tell him that I was not interested in his wife, who was 30 years older than me and also not my type. He was still angry.

I texted my manager this. He told me that if the man tried anything, we have, and I quote, “a big ass wrench” next to the safe. He gave me permission to hit the guy with it.

The wrench is, in fact, really fucking big.

A sexline operator called me once, while I was working. This was uncomfortable for me, a very ace then-19 year old. We got into an argument because she claimed I had called her.

Actually just... lots of people liked treating me like phonesex operators. Apparently people’s kinks are listening to room rates. Please do not do this to the people working front desk.

While we’re here, I got invited to a threesome once. The people who invited me? They watched me clock in to do shift change. They asked literal minutes after I clocked in. There is only one person at front desk. They asked after the other guy left.

I declined. For obvious reasons.

The other guy was S, who laughed about it when I told him the next day.

That time that they fired someone and another person left and we were short staffed for a month, so there were two days a week I’d come in at midnight, leave at 6AM, and then come in at noon for another 6 hour shift.

I hated that. Never again.

There was a raid on a hotel across the street. I watched it happen with Joe. He told me shit was wild. I agreed.

My GM would just... text me. At random times of day. To ask how many we had in house.

It was never when I was working.

He was always disappointed that I couldn’t tell him because I wasn’t working.

The time I had to crawl partially under a bed in a smoking room to help a guy get his cat. She was a good cat.

A lady told me a man was outside with a chainsaw and she’d seen him murder someone. Understandably, I was concerned, because she was shaken up and my hearing is godawful. I called the cops, who took things very seriously until she said the chainsaw man had no head in her physical description.

apparently she was on a very bad drugs trip. I learned this the next time I had to call the non-emergency number, because one of the cops from that incident showed up and told me.

A guy died in a room. Normally, you’d think this would be relayed with more urgency. I found about it when I was doing shift change with S. He told me this, and then proceeded to complain about an unrelated room and called them assholes.

The guy’s car was here for 8 months. The company he worked for wanted us to ship the car out to them. We told them they’d have to cover the shipping charge. They refused, and then S got the title to the car.

A guy once threatened to call the cops on me because I told him he couldn’t check into his room 10 hours early without paying an early check in fee. He wanted to call the cops because Expedia said it was 24 hour check in, and it was false advertisement.

He made the mistake of doing this right before I had to head out for a camp. I laughed at him, told him I’d willingly call the cops for him, and that I would love to have them come down.

A scam call once got angry with me because I wouldn’t authorize a purchase.

They pretended to call my manager. I laughed when they did it, because I could hear the phonecall.

My manager had a very particular way of speaking. He was very slow when talking. They did not take this into account.

I told him about this the next shift, of course, and he did not believe me. It was during shift change, luckily, so I did a faux phone call with another coworker, who had worked there for years. Both of them thought it was funny that I had his timing and general tone down.

The scam artists told me I was fired because my manager was, quote, “extremely disappointed in me”. I told them I was glad, because it meant I could go home early.

(My manager told me I wasn’t fired when I told him he had apparently fired me. I asked if he was still disappointed. He laughed.)

When we changed the clock-in system and I had to text our hotel manager whenever I clocked in and out.

A guy tried to tell me that I wasn’t qualified to check him into a room because women are all stupid. I asked him if he wanted to talk to the manager. He said yes, and the manager called him an idiot.

The other time someone told me I wasn’t qualified to check them in because I took too long, and I offered to let her come in and check herself in. Our servers were updating. She declined, because she didn’t work here. I told her she was just going to have to be patient.

Kicked someone out of the hotel once. He came back 30 minutes later to try and re-rent his room. I told him no. He thought I was just joking about him being kicked out.

My GM tried for like 8 months to get me to date another coworker. He made jokes about giving him a raise so he could take me out to dinner.

I do not think my GM knew I was very gay.

The coworker did not take me out to dinner.

The one drunk college student from Germany who I made friends with in the breakfast room, and his significantly less drunk friend.

they both said trans rights, i’m still crying

Drunk men are assholes. Drunk women are godsends.

One night, a lady told me my eyes were pretty, and when I had to help her to the door, she called me gorgeous and said I smelled nice.

her friends were so embarrassed

i forgot how to speak

That same night, a drunk guy said he hated his wife and that he hated me too after calling me an asshole. His wife came in after he said this. I felt bad for her.

Occasionally people would stop at the front desk on their way back from the gas station, and would come bearing gifts of usually drinks. It was always nice.

one time a guy offered me weed brownies

i declined because i was worried about

The guy who stopped at the front desk to ask where the nearest Starbucks was, because his girlfriend wanted a frappuccino, and he was gonna get her one so she could have it in bed.

He came back as I was clocking out.

His girlfriend had dumped him on his way back.

I felt really bad, because this man had peak “dumb of ass but chugs respecting women juice” energy.

Incidentally, I got a free Starbucks frap.

Someone was convinced I was colorblind because I told him that I thought his blue cup was neat.

It was a purple cup.

i did not know how to tell him i was not colorblind, i am just an idiot

Our GM moved to Texas and we didn’t see him for like a year. He was the GM of 2 other hotels. Apparently, he said he was living at all three.

Some dude came into the hotel once night. I tried talking to him. He started signing. I do not know sign, and apologized, and then grabbed a paper to write back and forth with him.

The man made me learn fingerspelling and we instead did this back and forth.

I thought nothing of this, and he came by a few times to chat with me, albeit incredibly slowly.

During shift change, he came in again. I explained to my relief that he only signed. He nodded, and then told me that he had been “healed by a grace act of God, and could now hear and talk.”

He then tried to tell me to come to church to celebrate this miracle.

He told me he was actually fine. He was just choosing to learn ASL and wanted me to participate for the “immersion of it all”, so that I might “find the lord and accept him once more into my heart”.

yes, this was in fact, some white person bullshit

Also in line with white people bullshit, the guy who said he could tell I had a strained relationship with my half-sister but a good relationship with my youngest sister, that my father would recover from the divorce, and that my engagement would be fine. He said it was because I was a Leo cusp, and then said that Kimberly was a good name for me and that I chose well.

i am not a leo. i was born in december

i have no sisters

i have never been engaged

my parents are (somehow) still married

i was wearing a nametag. angeles does not sound or look anything like kimberly

They sold the hotel last year to new owners. Nobody knew until an email got sent out that said we “probably would still have our jobs”.

I argued with my new manager about a raise. He didn’t want to give it to me. I told him he had to, because I was working minimum wage, and the minimum wage had gone up.

the AAA guy who was a real big dick when I asked him to repeat himself and joked about women being bad at jobs.

He asked me if there were any discounts. I refused to give him any, because we had none for him.

He asked if I knew if there was any discount that would make him stop asking me stupid questions. I sighed and said “No, but god I fucking wish there was.”

Tonight, a lady asked me what our beta fish’s name is. I don’t know. She decided to name him Benny, and then asked me to come up with a name. I panicked and said Soap. This was apparently the right answer, because she nodded sagely and said I chose wisely.

[tonystarkbingo]

Tony Stark Bingo Party Prompt Meme

http://generatorland.com/usergenerator.aspx?id=25057 -- we took tags from this random generator and then made up more detailed prompts from them. These prompts are open use, even if you’re not participating in the bingo, but please tag us if you write one, we’d LOVE to see what you did with it! nonsense + everyone is gay + denial : Tony+harem - Tony, while an incorrigible flirt, does not believe that anyone actually likes him, let alone as many as do. They come up with increasingly ridiculous ideas to ask him out or at least let him know they like him, while he innocently thinks they're all just such awesome friends superpowers + bodice-ripper + sad Stuckony - something set in the Regency(ish) era but with secret superpowers as an added bonus. Let’s of angst over trying to hide their secret powers, and wanting to save people without revealing themselves and also cause they’re gay. clones + nighttime + wishes Coulson/Strange (StrangeAgent? AgentStrange? DrAgent?) - Coulson ends up spending the night in the NY Sanctum. Some of the artifacts happen to be particularly sensitive to subconscious fantasies... and isn't it lucky that cloning himself happens to be one of Strange's powers? cruising + flashbacks + bad boys Winteriron possible future Stuckony - small warning for drinking mention - Tony is driving around to distract himself so he doesn't get drunk. He gets in an accident because he is not actually in a state to drive. The accident is comparatively harmless, the flashback to his convoy being attacked in Afghanistan is less so. When Tony wakes up in the hospital he learns that the person who dragged him from his car to safety is one James "Bucky" Barnes, resident motorbike riding bad boy heartthrob and friend/visitor of Steve "regular ER customer" Rogers, who's his hospital roommate. room service + lifeguards + sharing Tony is a lifeguard who takes his job very seriously. He's attending a convention-slash-training seminar at a posh uptown hotel, but then there's a knock at the door. He opens it to find two room service carts, both with order slips on them that indicate they're actually destined for another room. Rather than call the obviously harried and beleaguered bellboy back, he pushes them down the hall himself and knocks on the door... which is answered by none other than the hot beefcake fellow-lifeguard that's been distracting Tony all day. They end up sharing the enormous amount of food... and then maybe some more. :wink: overthinking + pity sex + customer service Tony just turned 40, he's been friends with Bucky and Nat for forever, and they'd been each other's marriage backups for the longest time, like, if they weren't married at 40, they'd marry whoever wasn't married either in their little trio. Only, two years prior, Buckynat became husband and wife and so he's having a little pity party on his floor at the Tower, drinking virgin mojitos and seriously consider a particular customer service to cheer himself up in one way or another - might as well get an orgasm, as shitty and sad as it may be, it's his birthday ffs - but then Bucky and Nat appear in his elevator, and they pull him off the couch he's been sprawled on for three hours, and Nat is the first to kiss him, and he's too stunned to react much but when he does question wtf is happening, Bucky shushes him and Tony lets him. The next morning he is evidently convinced it was all just pity sex, or a kink of theirs or whatever.... certainly nothing to do with the fact that they've been courting him forever and got tired of waiting for him to step out of ObliviousStarklandia. Of course not. wolves + romantic friendship + wigs Okay, so, someone has been doing an excellent job of hiding his baldness from someone else, with whom he's been in a long term best-friends-but-in-love not-quite-relationship. He's got an elaborate series of wigs, and over the years he's gradually been replacing them with slightly more grey ones so that someone else doesn't realise. Aaaand then someone gets bitten by a werewolf, and when he shifts for the first time he is completely bald and the secret is out. accidental relationship + butt dialing + warlocks Tony Stark is not happy with today's mission, not like there's an occasion to enjoy dealing with magic. But now he's in a relationship with Bucky, which is not bad, that man is gorgeous, but this is not the way. He's ranting about it to Jarvis and doesn't realize that he sat on his phone nor that he dialed the other supersoldier in the team until he hears a muffled laugh beneath him. He's going to kill that warlock smuggling + fear + road-trip okay, a Star Wars AU. Farmboy Peter is fleeing from stormtroopers who found out his parents were Jedi. He runs into smuggler Tony and they take off in Tony's ship for an extended road trip in space. possession + loving marriage + gardens & gardening Pepperony, Morgan insists there's a spirit possessing the garden because she's seen the plants dancing. Turns out they've accidentally created sentient plants and Tony is like nope, call somebody else, I do mechanical engineering and they call Dr. Cho to fix it. The marriage is in there somewhere I promise  idiots in love + bonding + resurrection Ironhawk - Clint tries to get Lucky back after he goes over the rainbow bridge, but he can’t actually read latin and ends up bringing back Tony from the 18th century.  And poor Tony gets Clint as his guide to the 21st.  Shenanigans and eventual fluffy ending improv + cultural appropriation + shield maidens After the Battle of New York, Tony's interviewing Thor about Asguardian tech and learns that they have all kinds of shielding devices, and gets interested in trying to replicate what Thor describes just in case aliens decide to pay a call on Earth again. Thor, for his part, is kinda shocked that Earth doesn't have any such shields, though on the other hand it is Midguard, so. You know. Tony gives it a shot and a couple weeks later he's launching the satellites into orbit for a preliminary test of the shields. He intends to test them with SI tech developed from seized Chitauri tech, but before he can get the chance an alien army shows up, guns blazing and very mad about something. The shields hold, thankfully, and the aliens send a strongly worded letter informing him that he has infringed upon their religious and cultural traditions by putting the Stark logo on them. Their planet was visited centuries ago by time-travelers that greatly influenced their culture, religion, government, etc. These time travelers carried devices with that same Stark Logo on them. The Stark Logo has become a complex cultural symbol over the centuries, and they don't appreciate him using it on war tech, even if on shields. Eventually, they figure out that the time travelers' tech was Tony's tech, and agree to leave in peace, but only after Tony spends a terrifying couple of days trying to improvise his way through a diplomatic disaster with an alien power. vampire family + slapstick + loss WinterIronWidow: So, Natasha's been a vampire for a long time, and she's lonely, so she decides to take on some mates, enter established relationship WinterIron. She vampirises them, which leads to Tony having fits about GARLIC and my god, I'm ITALIAN, you horrible woman!  And Bucky's like "I'm... CATHOLIC?? OM-- I can't even say G-- now??" awkwardness + chatting & messaging + shyness Tony doesn't understand why everytime Bucky comes into the lab, Dum-E tends to drop whatever he's holding and go hide in his charging station. Dum-E's always a bit clumsy and silly but this is more than usual and Tony's worried that Dum-E doesn't like Bucky or something like that. Anyway after much discussion, with JARVIS as translator and go-between, it turns out that Dum-E has developed a bit of a crush on Bucky's fancy robotic arm. Which ends up of course being a hilarious & awkward situation for all involved. candles + explosions + blind date tony gets bullied by pepper to go on a blind date to get out of his funk, she insists that this Matt Murdock character is the perfect date and Tony will like him. reluctantly tony goes to fancy restaurant and meets Matt Murdock and they hit it off instantly the little snarky assholes. they have a nice dinner by candle light and it's all going so well up until dessert when they order some kind of chocolate lava cake which was tragically not cooked properly and ends up exploding on both of them and bam they fall in love and live happily ever after skeleton puns + reincarnation + deus ex machina A snap, that was all it took to snuff out something so bright amidst the rubble of what was once New York City, and, with Tony gone for good, the living seem rather, well…dead. Until, one day, someone they all thought long dead returned to them, a blue cube glowing in his grip and a sweet promise of a new beginning dripping from his lips. But of course, no new beginning comes without a price laundry + tenderness + dialogue “I hate laundry,” Morgan declared after trying to refold her sweatshirt for the seventh time. “Me too kiddo,” Tony whispered back, sneaking a glance over his shoulder to Pepper who was putting clothes into the wash. “But that’s why we do it together. It gets done and we don't have to do it alone.” world domination + paranoia + everything hurts Tony knew what was coming, he knew. He’d seen the future and he knew. The Kree were coming - why would no one believe him? Not his husband, not the team, not even his own son. He kept convincing them they had to suit up and defend the planet and Steve and Peter kept telling him that a engineering professor from Cal Tech can’t do that, that this suit he talks about is only in his delusions. But he’s not paranoid. Or crazy. Or any of those other words. He is Iron Man. He just has to convince everyone else. feels + useless lesbians + Santa's workshop Toni doesn’t think anyone could accuse her of overflowing with Christmas spirit. That hasn’t stopped the rest of the Avengers from turning the “festive cheer” dial up to eleven, and Toni thinks she might just have to spend the whole next month hiding in her workshop. (Hey, she let DUM-E wear a Santa hat – that has to count for something.) Too bad Jamie Barnes – cyborg superassassin extraordinaire, Captain America’s best friend, and Toni’s big gay crush – has gotten the exact same idea. Now the rest of the team thinks they’ve got a “thing,” and Toni can’t decide which is worse: putting up with the Avengers’ not-so-subtle attempts at matchmaking, or spending all her time with the woman she loves and who she is absolutely, 100%, totally certain doesn’t reciprocate. Getting through this holiday season without having her heart broken might just take… a Christmas miracle. shapeshifting + secret organizations + nurses “C. Barton - Orderly.”  That’s what his tag said.  But only a very few people knew exactly what kind of hospital Saint Natalis actually was, and just how busy they could be during the full moon. kissing games + pirates + book stores Tony always thought that the shop had a mind of its own. The books were one thing, whispering their secrets to patrons who managed to find their way to it. Jarvis always did warn him not to touch any of the artifacts. The "DO NOT TOUCH" signs plastered all over the crates. So maybe it was his fault that he managed to summon 'Buccaneer Barnes' after touching the shiny pirate sword. "Let's play a game. If you win, I'll help you put all those runaway monsters that jumped out of the books. If I win, you owe me a kiss. Whatdaya say Stark?"

[shhhhyoursister]

Hey what are you favourite davenzi scenes/moments and what are your favourite Matteo scenes/moments? Hope you’re well!

okay okay okay this has been in my inbox for a lil while and i feel like ive been building up to it but im going to watch some clips and gather some thoughts.....i asked @theyellowcurtains to give me a number limit for each and he said 3 so im gonna do 3 of each otherwise id just write a frame by frame analysis of all of season 3 (im so sorry for how long this post is i have so many thoughts all the time)

im gonna start with matteo moments and im gonna list the season/episode/clip just for clarity okay?? okay (im doing matteo moments that dont include david because i have to go off about that later on)

1. s3ep10cl2- okay okay so the morning after clip is perfect in every single way and i could go off about it for years but beyond all of the davenzi stuff there is the moment when matteo leaves davids room and hes wearing the gray sweater, when laura is dancing??? which is also iconic all on its own but im talking specifically about matteo here, so you know he sits down on that stool thing and hes smiling SO big and hes blushin really hard and then laura sees him and they LAUGH??? and then he claps for her???? if i had to pick id absolutely say that that whole sequence is my fave matteo moment and also kind of interesting and makes me think about the fact that matteo is definitely very shy and quiet but he also has that like,, brat confidence?? i could make an entire post about that but ANYWAY yeah that is the fucking best matteo moment hes so cute and nervous but also totally fine being obvious about the fact that him and david fucked which i think is hilarious but i digress and i MUST move on

2. s3ep8cl2- i do have to say that while im not a HUGE fan of the explanation the video he watched gave of like,, what being trans is, im really glad they included this clip?? like its so obvious that matteo wants to talk to david but doesnt really know what to say, and i love that his first instinct was to start looking stuff up?? like if i was into a cis guy and he told me that he didnt really know about trans stuff but he did RESEARCH?? like thats just really sweet and shows that he really fucking loves david already and just wants to be more informed about what hes,, not to say signing up for but i cant think of a better phrase but yall know what i mean ya know??? its just very very sweet of him!!!!!

3. s3ep8cl4- i think people know about my deep love for hans so of course this clip is going to be one of my favorites?? im going to narrow it down a bit though because the part of this clip that hit me the fucking hardest was when hans asks “what do you like about him?” because the way matteo reacts is just?? so sweet?? at first he looks a little unsure but then when hans repeats himself matteo licks his lips and goes “well, i love his smile” like????? is that not the cutest fucking shit?? he literally swoons and collapses back into the chair cause hes probably imagining it and then he goes off about it being “beautiful” with david and im sure hans is trying not to cry?? and hans ending it with “thats the only thing that really matters, everything else is secondary” and matteo going “thats true” and then laughing a little bit?? i feel like that whole thing was a bit of a turning point for matteo and wow i am,,, so emotional about it

oh my god im so sorry im going off but im about to go off more cause,,, im gonna talk about davenzi moments now

1. s3ep10cl1- okay im just gonna start strong even though i feel like everyone talks about this clip i REALLY wanna talk about it because??? the fact that they showed a fucking sex scene between a trans boy and a gay cis boy is still so fucking iconic and legendary?? while this whole season really changed my life, this scene in particular is so.......it just feels so good to see. like its so nice watching that and seeing someone who looks like me ya know?? not that i look like david god i wish i was that lucky but like,, someone wearing a binder?? someone whos body looks more like mine than any other trans rep ive seen?? and seeing that body being portrayed as DESIRABLE??? i think thats one of the things that gets me the most is just how like,, just how much matteo is into david lol it just feels good feels organic but im gonna stop myself here before i talk for 1000 years about a less than 4min long clip lmao

2. s3ep10cl4- okay so this clip really just highlights the cute beginning flirting stages of their relationship?? like matteo doesnt want to host the party but then he sees david and smiles and then hes smiling like a fool when he hands david the beanie back and theyre both just so awkward but obviously crushing?? and he wants to keep talking so of course hes gonna bring up the time they hung out, and he looks a lil shocked after david says “it was cool with you” and then he like,, stutters through inviting him to the party cause hes probably so nervous!!! theyre both just such big losers with such BIG crushes on each other its really just the cutest fucking clip and also kinda shows that david isnt necessarily just this,, cool dude?? hes also a stuttery blushy dork with a crush?? wow wow its just such a good underrated clip WOW

3. s3ep9cl7- okay okay okay okay okay im sure there are like lenghty analyses about this clip already but i dont care because holy FUCK??? something i didnt really notice about it before was once matteo finally goes up to david hes like “are you fucking serious” but then he sees that david is fuckin spiraling so his voice gets softer and he asks him like “hey whats wrong” and its just a really good set up to the conversation?? and its nice to see that despite matteo probably being kinda angry hes mostly just worried about david?? and then matteo just lets david go OFF at him and only talks when hes trying to tell him that it isnt going to be the same as it was last time but then once he sees that david is getting angrier and louder hes like okay how am i going to get him to listen so of course matteo, the quietest boy in the world, yells back!!!! and yeah thats the thing that finally stops david from working himself up!! and matteo realizes that hes gonna need to be a lil loud and pushy to make david listen to him and then he goes back to being soft once david is paying attention to him!!! and then he talks and he says so much, like much more than he usually does at one time, and god GOD the way they did that was jsut so GOOD!!!!! and the fact that matteo, who appears to be either depressed or apathetic like 90% of the season, is the one that says i love you first??? and during such an emotional and important moment like?? like after going off about how david isnt alone and that hes really great and jsut needs to stop hiding himself away LIKE???? guys its jsut so so good its just so good i could talk for years but im gonna cut myself off here

honorable mentions cause i cant shut the fuck UP:

1. when theyre looking at davids sketchbook and david is like “these are private actually all of them are private” and matteo is like “well you already showed them to me it doesnt matter” and then he giggles like damn no question why david had such a huge crush on him immediately hes such a cutie

2. “its not a girl”

3. ill just say the whole cuddle clip?? the tender/feral dichotomy?? absolutely *chefs kiss* just fucking perfect

4. THE FIRST KISS??? also gotta say i noticed something for the first time the other night but matteo SMILES and i hadnt seen it before its right after david says “i bet i can hold my breath longer than you” and then the angle changes and he smiles before holding his breath and it killed me when i saw it whoops

5. final shout out along the same lines as ^^ that one but just?? anytime matteo smiles?? fills me with serotonin. the smile in the final clip right before david runs over to kiss him?? the smiles when hes fuckin around with the boys?? every single lil nervous crushy smile with david??? i could go on but im going to stop this now before i say any more this is already too long

[merinnan]

DMBJ Ep 9

Episode 9 begins with the Xiaoge Rescue Count at 10 for Wu Xie, 14 for the protagonists, 15 for everyone 

And the Wu Xie Swoon Count at 5

- I love the juxtaposition of the cityscape and modern buildings with the more traditional looking building here 

- lol, Wu Xie has such low confidence in High Shao's ability to not get cheated XD 

- *cackles* And Wu Xie is 100% correct 

- High Shao can't haggle for shit, either

- LOL, even I can tell that that's not good jade. That green is far too uniform. 

- Look, I still don't like or trust Chengcheng, but her polite "you are so full of shit" expression to the shopkeeper here is great 

- Wu Xie stepping in with some very polite calling out

- And High Shao finally realising he got duped 

 - Hey, he likes it, that's the main thing. And now he's getting it for a far more reasonable price. 

- Chengcheng is much better at haggling than High Shao 

- But let's be honest, anyone is a better haggler than High Shao

- Oh, good, Pangzi actually has his business in this one 

- And he's much less over-the-top in this setting than he was in the tomb 

- His expression on realising that Wu Xie is there is just great

- Wu Xie in his natural environment, showing off his archaeology knowledge 

- And subtly forcing Pangzi to buy the thing 

- And now Pangzi realising just how much this is actually worth now Wu Xie's told him, and he's so pleased

- And Wu Xie is so smug about Pagnzi's reaction. As he should be 

- High Shao and Chengcheng right on cue 

- I have to say, Pangzi's habit of randomly saying things in English makes me giggle every time 

- Pangzi: You want to meet with *who*

- Pangzi: There are *rules* 

Pangzi:... 

Pangzi: But since when do I care about rules? 

- I like him much better since he got out of the tomb 

- It's like Pangzi-in-the-tomb and Pangzi-outside-the-tomb are two different people

- Chengcheng like "look at me, I'm so pretty, Pay attention to me and flirt with me!" 

The boys: "Yeah, you look okay" 

Chengcheng: *surprised Pikachu face*

- She's right, though, the two boys scrubbed up nicely 

- And...oh, Chengcheng. Wu Xie is the young master of a significant family, he doesn't just look like one. 

- Though different kind of significant, I guess 

- Pangzi has also scrubbed up nicely

- Hahahah, Pangzi couldn't think of a way in, and so High Shao just casually showing off that he's apparently a master forger or some shit 

- Just made 4 ID cards over night 

- He might be gullible as fuck at times, but he has some impressive other skills!

- They all work just fine, even though they're read by scanners. I'm curious if those are just generic, or if he somehow like hacked partway into their system to make sure the cards would work 

- Hahah, Pangzi being Pangzi & being a little shit to the security guards is hilarious

- Aaah, it's an auction house. I wondered what kind of event they were at. 

- XIAOGE! 

- LOL, of course Wu Xie notices him right away 

- Even on a different level, dressed in a suit, & walking the other direction 

- And Xiaoge notices him, of course 

- The suit is a good look on him

- Oooh, the guy from the shop realising he sold that thing for way less than it was worth, and that Wu Xie and Pangzi are friends 

- Oops 

- Catfight! Catfight! Come on!

- And now security knows the cards are all faked 

- So Pangzi just namedropping Wu Xie's family 

 - Ooh, so apparently Granny Huo already knows that they're here and sent down an invitation 

- Interesting 

- Hahah, I love Pangzi being a little shit to this annoying guy

- And at how suddenly how respectful security/management is being to them now that the Huo family is involved 

- This is a very pretty building 

- Holy shit those menu prices 

- That's one way to watch how much you eat, if it's so expensive!

- That smirk of Pangzi's at her reaction, like, he knew what the prices were going to be like. Which is why he turned down getting food for the first time in this show 

- 1800 yuan + 10% tip just for tea. JFC.

- Beautiful double facepalm here at Chengcheng being a dumbass about the tea. No, Chengcheng, you can't take the goddamn tea home to make tea eggs with it.

- I'm guessing this Sun guy will be marginally important later 

- And here is the invite to go upstairs 

- Wu Xie is a very confused puppy at being invited upstairs by Granny Huo when Pangzi hadn't managed to contact her for him

- Also, side note, but the cheongsam the waitresses/attendants wear is super pretty 

- The colour is really nice 

- Oh, the invite was apparently for all of them 

- Ah, yeah, thought she'd end up being the lady from the opening credits 

- Hahah, that roast to his grandpa

- Oooh, it seems like she doesn't think much of his grandpa, either 

- lolnope, the invitation wasn't for all of them XD 

- I'm getting the feeling poor Wu Xie is going and upsetting a balance that everyone knows about except him 

- And that they expected him to know about as well

- *facepalms more at Chengcheng and High Shao casually  gossiping about Granny Huo in front of one of her guys* 

- Pangzi is aware, though, and doing damage control for these two dumbasses 

- Ooh, fancier car 

- And pretty girl, whom I'm guessing is the Miss Huo referred to earlier

- Oh no, High Shao, honey, please don't embarrass yourself by giving that cheapass hairpin to a girl who belongs in this high class of a place 

- I'm cringing already 

- Pangzi's face. Pangzi, mate, I feel you

- They're both roasting him so bad over how shitty that hairpin is and how anyone who knows anything can tell 

- "It implies that I have a pure, kind, and unsophisticated heart"  No, baby, it implies that you're either a cheapskate or a gullible idiot

- lol, now Chengcheng's getting annoyed because they're talking about how pretty the Huo girl is in front of her 

- *headdesk* 

- Of course Pangzi's loudly talking shit about the Huo family when their guys come downstairs 

- The secondhand embarrassment is strong in this episode

- Are you trying to pick a fight, Pangzi? 

- HI XIAOGE 

- Hanging back & listening in, as you do 

- Oh, nice move, Pangzi, but could you have not thrown the guy into High Shao like that? 

- Hahah, now they're just playing it all up 

- Making such a fuss and blaming it on the Huo guys

- But Pangzi is really being super over the top. OMG. 

- This is kinda hilarious 

- I'm not sure whether to laugh, cringe, or both 

- Xiaoge looking very pretty in his suit as he watches all these crazy shenanigans 

- Back to Wu Xie and Granny

- She really didn't like his grandpa, & she's assuming Wu Xie is just like him 

- Ofc she knows about the notebook 

- Him saying he has the fish has certainly surprised her 

- She's such a crochety old lady 

 - Wu Xie comes running in, & Xiaoge's attention immediately goes to him

- Ugh, I can't slow down the playback on Viki, so I can't tell who exactly tripped Wu Xie there. It looked like one of the Huo guys, but I can't be sure. 

- Xiaoge looking a little concerned at Wu Xie falling like that, even with Pangzi catching him.

- Pangzi all ready to go, & Wu Xie trying to hold him back even with the provocation 

- Wu Xie is such a good boy 

- A new contender appears, who also is apparently someone important 

- I just realised, is Xiaoge's suit the same as the suits the male hotel employees are wearing?

- Everyone seems to know who Wu Xie is, when he doesn't know who they are 

 - OH IT'S XIE YUCHEN 

- The doctor dude in Chongqi who's friends with Heiye!

 - 'That' Wu Xie? I'm really curious what that's supposed to mean

- Poor Wu Xie is so confused why they all know him when he doesn't have a clue who they are 

- Yes, that's a good point to gag Pangzi, Wu Xie. 

- If you're gonna talk shit about people, do it where they can't hear you 

- Xie Yuchen inviting them to come back. Sure.

- And Xiaoge only leaves now that Wu Xie has 

- I think I'm right about Xiaoge wearing the hotel uniform here

- lol, Granny isn't happy to see Wu Xie back already, is she? 

- Ahahahah, and now little shit Wu Xie comes out 

- Right on cue for the end of the episode 

Sadly no update to either the Rescue Count or the Swoon Count this time 

[danfanciesphil]

Bodyguard au rn miss 💋💋

hey anyone that wanted me to write the bodyguard au inspired by this picture of phil, here’s what i got for u xoxo

On Thursdays, their busiest nights, the club offers two for one drinks for anyone who gets there before twelve, meaning the line outside the door often snakes all the way down to the pier. It’s gotten warmer over the last month, so Phil no longer has to feel as guilty about the hoards of people shivering in their skimpy outfits for hours in the freezing seaside air, but it’s still not fun being the guy who has to make them all wait. Strict club rules though - no more than fifteen people to be let in at once, staggered in five minute intervals.

A few people are trying to engage Phil in chatter, but he remains stoic and silent, arms folded just below the stitching on his tight black t-shirt that reads ‘Try It Mate’. The people at the front of the queue, a girl in tattered tights and a birthday sash flanked by two equally bimbo-ish friends, are finding this t-shirt hilarious, and keep yelling this at him, as if they actually think he can’t hear them standing two feet away. He’s had a lot of practice at ignoring drunken screeching though, so he just stares at the roiling sea in the distance, fast-forwarding his brain a few hours, to when he can relax in his bed, eat leftover pizza and play some video game he could complete blindfolded.

Billy, the other bouncer working tonight, taps Phil discreetly on the arm - the signal that enough time has passed to let some more people in. With a quiet sigh, Phil turns and unhooks the rope separating him from the drunk girls, and inclines his head to let them through. As they stumble inside the door, flashing their passports and driver’s licences, Billy makes a disapproving face. Phil knows that some bouncers would label the girls as ‘TDTD’ (too drunk to dance), and not let them inside, but Phil can’t be bothered to go through that whole charade with them. They look the sort that would kick off, and hold up the queue even more. They’re straight, probably, out on a girls night for the sash-girl’s birthday, and fancy trying out a gay club just to be daring. It pisses Phil off, and if he were more like Billy, weathered by years of the job and willing to take no nonsense, he might be more inclined to refuse them entry.

But it’s too late now, they’re already inside, likely ordering prosecco at a bar that serves mostly jagerbombs and cheap imitation cosmos, then clambering up on the podiums with the professional dancers and drag queens to show off for their Instagram feed. Billy nudges him in the side, and Phil realises he’s still watching the entrance where the girls disappeared, and not focusing on the queue. He turns quickly to the next person - tall, skinny, dressed in a crop top that looks like it’s made for a doll, a thin, satin, pink and white bomber jacket, and a pair of denim shorts so tiny that they barely begin to cover the person’s ass. The highlight of the ensemble is the lilac wig that cascades in loose curls down to waist-level, complete with a thick fringe that hangs down over whoever’s eyes are hiding behind it.

Phil takes one look at this joker and has half a mind to turn them away without even speaking to them, but a skinny arm reaches up to offer an ID, so Phil sighs and takes it even though every one of his spidey-senses is tingling. It’s a green driver’s permit, not even a full license; the date printed would make the owner twenty-one. Phil gives the lanky figure in front of him another brief once-over - no way are they a day over eighteen, and that’s pushing it. His eyes flick to the name: Daniel James Howell. There’s a photo too of course, of an attractive, far more masculine-presenting, clean-cut young adult with a slight side-fringe. The lilac-haired beauty in front of Phil does not, in his opinion, match this general look. Still, he supposes it’s his job to make sure.

“What’s your name?” Phil asks, starting off easy so he doesn’t humiliate the kid.

“I guess you could call me Dan, most of the time,” lilac-hair says in an unexpectedly sure, confident voice; Phil can’t be sure whether the tremor he can hear is in from cold or from their nerves about being caught.  

“Don’t sound very sure about that.”

They get a lot of this kind of thing. Young, nervous gay guys - it’s mostly guys - sneaking out to come for their first gay club experience, usually dressed up in their mum or sister’s clothes, disguised but still scared shitless that someone will clock them and they’ll be forced prematurely out of the closet. This kid is likely still in school, desperate to find a place he can be himself - unfortunately, the law is the law, and he’ll just have to come back when he’s old enough to have a real ID.

“Think I don’t know my own name?” the kid asks. “Listen, from nine to five, my name’s Dan Howell. But I’m not going by Dan tonight, get me?”

The irritation in this person’s voice makes Phil pause. Normally, a bad attitude like this would be enough of a deterrent that they’d risk getting turned away, but if anything, on lilac-hair the attitude is just confusing. What does he have to be irritated about? He’s got no gaggle of friends with him, nor does he appear to be in a hurry. Phil’s just trying to do his job - if this person is underage, they must’ve known this might happen.

He studies the ID again, noting that for a fake it’s very convincing. He turns to flash the small green card at Billy, who frowns at it, then shrugs in a ‘looks real to me’ way. Phil’s gaze drifts back to lilac-hair and asks, “what’s your star sign?”

A tiny smile spreads over thin, glossed pink lips. “Is that the best you can come up with?”

Absurdly, Phil feels himself grow warm with embarrassment. It makes no sense - he’s been flirted with hundreds of times working here and it’s never so much as rattled him before. He shrugs it off, trying to appear unamused. “I’m not flirting with you, I’m trying to see if you’re fucking about with me. Might wanna play along, sunshine.”

The pink lips part to let out a sigh of frustration. “I’m a gemini. Wanna know my bra size too?”

The dates on the ID work; Phil long ago learned the correct dates for the star signs for this exact reason. He ignores the snarky follow up question, which is good of him. “Can you lift your wig, please?”

Lilac-hair hesitates, then flicks the long locks falling by their ears back over each shoulder, revealing a lot of pale skin and sharp, jutting collarbones. Phil averts his eyes quickly - if this person is underage, he can’t be staring inappropriately. Not that he should be doing that with any customers that are legal either.

“Not like that,” Phil says, brusquely, “I can’t see your eyes.”

Lilac-hair lifts their head, chin jutting out, and behind the unbrushed lilac strands, Phil can almost make out two dark, almond-shaped eyes staring back at him. Phil can’t help an amused smile forcing its way out, born from the kid’s stubborn defiance. This person is not about to let Phil off easily, if they are lying about their age.

So, mostly to speed things along, Phil reaches out a hand - very much without thinking - and pushes the purple fringe back. The kid’s eyes are round and startled, which is fair enough, as Phil hadn’t even known he was going to make such a bold move until he’d already done it. This is far from protocol, probably, touching the customers unless they’re being belligerent and require forcible removal. But he’s too far in now, holding the handful of acrylic hair out of this person’s face. And yep, it’s at once completely obvious that he is, in fact, the same person as the man in the ID photo - no question about it.

The ID is, apparently, real. Lilac hair is twenty-one years of age, and Phil’s just got to accept it. Not a kid at all. He releases the fringe, and lilac-hair blinks as it falls back into their eyes.

“Satisfied?” Lilac hair huffs, straightening the fringe with their fingers.

“In you go,” is all Phil replies, a little gruffly because he knows he’d been wrong to prematurely assume this person was trying to break the law from appearance alone. He hates that his own prejudice can sometimes leak through when assessing people in this job, though he tries his hardest to be totally impartial. He hands ‘Dan’ their ID back and lets them through the rope. Lilac-hair takes their time about going through, pulling the wig back around his shoulders, then swaying their hips as they swan by. Despite knowing he shouldn’t, Phil’s eyes fall to the curve of  lilac’s ass, peeking through the hotpants as they head to the door. Phil never wears wigs, but he sees a lot of people in them working here, and long ago learned the difference between a cheap ‘party city’ wig, and an expensive one. The one lilac is wearing is definitely on the cheaper end of the scale, but it’s gorgeous in its tackiness, like the person inside it knows that the pastel colour is exactly their shade. The plastic hair falls in a great tumble down a tapered back, bouncing just above the waistband of those tiny shorts. The sight is unforgettable, Phil can already feel it burning into his retinas, to be replayed in the dark, when he’s alone.

Billy clears his throat then, breaking Phil out of his trance. He rips his eyes away, sheepishly, turning to Billy. “Not a good idea to put your hands on ‘em,” Billy reminds him in his low, rough voice. “Some of ‘em get shirty about it.”

Phil nods, glad of the darkness hiding his flush, and turns to the next set of people in the queue.

*

At around half one, Phil signals to Billy that he needs to take a piss. The queue is long gone by now, and they’ve moved into the second half of their shift, which is watching the smoking area for people trying to do drugs, and kicking people to the kerb if they get too drunk. There haven’t been too many of either instances this evening, so Phil feels pretty safe about leaving Billy alone for five minutes. He heads inside, scooting behind the bar to get across to the toilets so that he doesn’t have to barge through the crowds on the dancefloor. The bartenders all nod at him as he passes, some exchanging harried looks with him because it’s rammed in here, and they all spent the first few hours of the night making two of every drinks order.

In the unisex bathroom, Phil pees quickly then washes his hands; he notices a few people scarpering from cubicles at the sight of him, but doesn’t bother try and catch them. They’re either doing drugs or having sex, and either one is moronic to do in a bathroom stall if you ask him. He does do a quick scout of the cubicles before he leaves, knocking on doors and saying stern things in the hopes of scaring them into sense for a bit.

It’ll only work for a while - once they know he’s out of sight they’ll be back at it again, but there’s not much he can do about it. They check likely suspects for pills and powders on the way in, and confiscate a fair amount, but Phil’s not dumb and knows there’s a hundred ways they could be hiding it.

It’s as he gets to the bar again that Phil notices the swirling lights washing over a familiar waterfall of lilac, in front of the bar waiting to be served. There’s a guy next to lilac hair, obnoxiously crowding them in a way that Phil is all too familiar with. The guy has a wifebeater on with the word ‘woof’ scrawled across the chest. He’s also wearing a snapback indoors. Both of these are major red flags for Phil, who has seen and kicked out a lot of classic douchebags in his time.

He pauses, waiting to see the scene unfold. The bartenders are swamped with orders from the hoard of people crammed up against the bar - lilac has been pushed right to the edge with woof-man. Unless he’s willing to give up his place in the makeshift queue, he won’t be able to escape unwanted advances. Phil waits, certain that woof is seconds away from making his pig-headed move. He doesn’t have to wait long.

Woof-man leans in and whispers something into the folds of the lilac wig. Whatever is said makes lilac recoil in disgust. To stop him moving away, woof-man reaches out and grabs lilac-hair by the outer hip, his meaty hand cupping the whole of his right ass-cheek, then tugs him in sharply. Already Phil is moving towards them at the sight of this, and that’s when woof-man squeezes his fistful of flesh, apparently quite hard, because in the next second, lilac is calmly reaching between two people to grab a leftover beer on the bar, and promptly upending it over woof’s head. The guy roars, half-drowned by the loud music, but audible enough that the near vicinity of people turn to see. Woof pulls off his snapback and shakes it out, furious; lilac flinches as the droplets of beer spray at him, but doesn’t try to run away. Phil reaches them then, alarm pumping through him to the beat of a Tove Lo song, and promptly inserts himself between the two, his back to lilac, one hand on woof’s chest.

“Oi, that’s enough,” Phil barks in his usual ‘bouncer voice’.

“It’s him not me!” Woof insists, as Phil knew he would. “That little fucker chucked a beer on me!”

“Out of nowhere, was it?” Phil’s already done with this dickhead. “I saw you grab ‘em, so don’t even try it. Far as I’m concerned, you deserve the beer bath.”

Woof’s face flushes red in fury. “Oh, get lost, you wanker. Look at ‘im. Boys don’t dress like that to be treated like Royalty, mate. He fuckin’ wants it.”

A white hot, blinding rage pierces Phil right through the chest. Something primal awakens in him, picturing lilac’s sweet, pretty features as he lifted the fringe from their eyes. “Right,” Phil growls through clenched teeth, “out.”

“What?!” Woof is practically frothing at the mouth. “You can’t do that!”

“I bloody well can mate,” Phil says; he’s hoping that woof will listen to him, as he’s seconds away from throwing a punch, “I’m the bouncer. Out. We don’t want your sort in here.”

The guy scoffs, squaring up, but he’s wobbly, obviously tipsy, and Phil just has to take one sombre, utterly unfazed step towards him, shoulders drawn up to elevate their height difference, and the guy sinks backwards. Phil loves watching the recalculating whirr of their slowly ticking, moronic brains.

“Whatever,” the guy spits, sending a dirty look over Phil’s shoulder, “this place is shite anyway.”

Thankfully, he turns, stalking away, and Phil watches long enough to make sure he heads for the door. Once he’s out of sight, Phil turns, somewhat unsurely, back to lilac, who is staring at Phil, the fringe parted into two curtains that split in curves across a smooth forehead. It’s nice to see those eyes again; they shouldn’t be hidden, Phil thinks..

“Thanks,” lilac says. “But I could’ve handled it.”

“No trouble,” Phil replies, chuckling at lilac’s continued defiance, “‘s what I’m here for. You ok?”

Lilac nods contemplatively, those brown eyes flicking over Phil’s face, head tilted. He’s wearing makeup, Phil notices. Something sparkly wiped across his eyelids and cheeks. Pink lipgloss. Maybe mascara too. Phil feels a curl of something he hasn’t felt for a long time, twisting and writhing like a worm in his gut. He squashes it down, embarrassed by his attraction to such an obvious display of faux-feminine allure. Such a cliche, lusting after the pretty boys, or not-boys perhaps, considering what ‘Dan’ had said outside.

“Bet you get that problem a lot,” Phil says, not thinking. He only realises how much like a come-on it sounds when it’s too late.

Lilac’s eyebrow quirks, and the corner of his mouth twitches up in a surprised smile. “You sure you’re not flirting with me?”

The blush whips into Phil’s cheeks so fast it nearly unstables him. He’s suddenly very aware of the intense effect this person seems to be having on him, just due to their proximity. Sure, beneath the overpowering performance of that wig lies an extraordinarily pretty human, but Phil daily encounters lots of beautiful people in this job. Gay club patrons tend to go ham on the glitz and glamour.

It’s just something about lilac, in their skimpy clothes that look like they were stitched out of a teenage girl’s bedroom curtains, and the cheap synthetic that somehow transforms the outfit into something bewitching. The makeup is done imperfectly, the sparkly blue varnish on their nails is  half bitten off. But there’s no denying the effect lilac has, and seems to know they have, judging by the flirtatious smile being aimed his way.

“Of course not,” Phil says anyway, bristling. He averts his eyes; lilac’s stare is lasering right through him. “I work here.”

“Me too,” lilac replies, one bony shoulder shrugging up. Fingers come up to tuck a strand of wig behind an ear, revealing a glinting diamond stud, big and gaudy, in one lobe. “As of about ten minutes ago.”

Phil’s half sure he’s misheard, perhaps due to dizzying effect this person seems to be having on him, as if lilac’s fingers are plucking at every thread stitching him together, unravelling him bit by bit.

“What?”

“They’ve taken me on. Probationary only for now, but I’ll convince them soon enough,” lilac says, then finally catches the eye of Melissa, their head bartender. Lilac mouths ‘sambucca’ at her, then holds up two fingers; she nods, glancing at Phil as if to say ‘did you really let this child in through the front door?’.  “I do drag,” lilac says, teeth and tongue teasing out the word. “Or a kind of drag, I guess.”

“Oh,” Phil says, dumbed. He’s not sure what a ‘kind of’ drag could mean, but there’s no doubt that it’s an intriguing thought. “Right.”

Under normal circumstances, Phil would find it more than suspicious that anyone in a cheap wig and very basic outfit, someone barely manage to squeeze past the bouncers in here tonight due to their youthful appearance, could have somehow secured a highly coveted spot amongst some of the best drag acts in Brighton. This club is known for its regular, popular drag performances, happening on Fridays and Saturdays. Phil hadn’t even known the manager was looking for new talent - usually they hold auditions and have a long selection process, so the idea that someone would be able to walk in off the street and find work is almost unfathomable.

But these circumstances aren’t normal. Lilac is not just another drag act, Phil can sense it. If they’re able to hypnotise Phil, snatch him up body and soul with just a flutter of lashes and a few coy smiles, it’s almost terrifying to think what lilac could do to a whole room of people.

“I’m very good,” lilac says then around a knowing smile, so confident that Phil just nods in total acceptance.

Melissa pushes two shot glasses across the bar towards them, then shouts that it’ll be six pounds. Lilac starts digging into some non-existent pocket in those shorts; to stop himself staring, Phil cups a hand around his mouth and shouts to Melissa, “put it on my tab.”

Lilac’s eyes flick up to him through a haze of pastel. “Thanks,” is the response, before they pick up the shots and down both of them one after the other. Phil blinks, chastened. Of course he wasn’t certain that this jewel of a person was attempting to by him a drink, especially as they know Phil is working, but even so… it had sort of looked that way for a minute. Lilac flicks their lashes about, bored, then lands a chocolate gaze back on Phil. “Guess I’ll see you around, then.”

Lilac pushes off the bar, already headed into the midst of the throng. The sight of the lilac covered back retreating is almost unbearable. Phil’s arm shoots out before he can stop it, catching lilac’s arm. Lilac snatches it away quickly, probably way too used to being grabbed at, and Phil feels slimy, holds his hands up in a show of surrender. Lilac has turned on the spot, is staring at him expectantly, warily.

There’s no in point in asking Phil why he’d felt the urge to halt this person’s exit, because he has no idea. He just needed one last, proper, good look at those beautiful, beguiling features before he had to bid farewell for an indefinite amount of time.

“Well?” lilac asks, though because of the music, Phil can only tell what they’d said by how those pink lips shaped the word.

“What’s your name?” Phil asks, for lack of anything better. Anything to prolong the inevitable parting of ways. “Your drag name,” Phil clarifies, hoping it’s the right question.

It seems to make lilac smile, if only slightly. They shift their weight onto one foot, hip jutting out to the side. A gauze of blue passes diagonally over their face, highlighting the gleam in their eyes.

“O-livia Truth,” he says slowly, enunciating each syllable. “I start on Friday. Blow me a kiss from the crowd.” Then, with a spin on a pink stiletto, they’re gone.

[irwintry]

Babycakes

Warnings: swearing

Author’s Note: anyone remember this bad boy?? rip i couldn’t find the same gif i had used before. also??? don’t date a max. like rly, never date a max.

Word Count: 3.1k

You were focused in on the back of his head, counting each stray curl that stuck out from under his headphones.

God, you fucking idiot. Just talk to him, or at least compliment his shirt.

You glanced back down at your hands before proceeding to wipe them free of any sweat. When you looked back up, however, the boy began to rise from his chair. Instead of making any further actions to go over to him, you watched him gather his belongings and make his way to the door. You sighed audibly after he walked by you, specifically because he was also listening to Led Zeppelin while wearing their t-shirt.

"What are you moping about, babycakes?" asked the person to your right.

"Did you see that guy?" You turned to face your friend.

He picked at a ranch-drenched salad, poking around aimlessly until finally bringing the fork to his mouth. "Hmm," he said before finishing up his chewing. "Zeppelin boy? I'm sure you could do better than that, cakes."

"Shut up, Calum," you retorted. "I'm sure you could do better than– "

"Do not bring her into this."

"Oh, so what? Is she your girlfriend now?"

"No," Calum said, stabbing at a grape tomato. "But she doesn't deserve your slander."

You frowned, gazing over at his unfinished salad and lesson plan. "Well, neither does Zeppelin boy. Maybe. I mean, Cal, he was listening– "

"He looks like a Max." Calum bit into the tomato. "I bet his name is Max. Don't date a Max. I knew one once and– "

"Shut up."

You weren't mad at Calum. No, you could never be mad at him. In fact, you always thought your conversations with him were quite hilarious, despite the constant banter. You considered yourself lucky to have someone that made you happy all of the time. Your previous best friends were great, but none of them compared to Calum.

You fixated on the little things about him. After learning how to play bass guitar, Calum would create a bassline for practically anything that made a sound. Many years later, his fingers still continued to twitch whenever he liked a song enough. And, just as much as he did with his bass, Calum protected his voice to no end. Even around you, he attempted to hide his talent. You figured out how to edge it out of him occasionally. Nobody around you noticed the musical side to your best friend, but sometimes, it was all you could think about.

You two met on accident the night of your 18th birthday. You were taking on the town with a few of your closest friends while attempting to get into nightclubs with fake IDs and terrible low voices. After the third unsuccessful attempt, you sat in Union Square with a joint passed between the four of you. You could still remember the exact street both you and Calum were on when he ran into you. And quite literally at that. He was biking home from work when you lost your balance on a curb, and soon enough, one thing led to another. He attempted to flirt as he – despite it being warm out – offered you his flannel. One date later, you decided you were both better off as friends.

Flash forward four years, and things were still going strong.

Presently, the two of you were sat on the patio of a café while Calum continued to play with the soggy lettuce in his salad. You watched him quietly, specifically noticing the retreating patience in his eyes after a piece of lettuce fell off of his fork. You loved the boy to death, but he had flawed moments as well. He became a jerk to everyone about a year ago after his parents were involved in a nearly fatal car accident. They ended up being okay, although his behavior failed to change. Luckily, he never acted that way around you. You were relieved, but you were worried about him. You didn't want his second graders to think their teacher was an asshole.

"Hey," you said, twisting your body around to face him. As you did so, you placed your legs upon his lap.

"Hey," he replied and pushed them off, letting them hit the solid concrete of the sidewalk. "I'm working, don't bother me."

You rolled your eyes. "I thought you said that you had your lessons all planned out for the next week. Take a break, buttercup. You said something about wanting to go see the third Lethal Weapon, yeah? Let's go, then. It just came out. I think."

"I– "

"Please."

"It's not out yet, cakes," he chuckled before covering it up with a quick frown. "Gotta wait another month."

You, too, frowned. "Um..." You thought for a moment. "Guys & Dolls just opened, we could go waste more money on– "

"Since when were you into theatre?"

You blinked. "Since forever," you said, following it up with a gasp. "Calum Thomas Hood, have you forgotten something about me? I can't believe it. I lose a potential soulmate and my best friend all in one day. The universe fucking hates me." You sighed dramatically before resting your face in your hands.

Finally, Calum let out a genuine laugh as he set down his pencil and fork. "Okay, okay. Fuck you. Fine. We can do something. But not Guys & Dolls."

"Well, fuck you, too."

-

"Do you think that once we die, we are told which people in our lives actually meant something versus the ones that weren't even supposed to be there in the first place?"

You were lying on the floor of Calum's bedroom at two in the morning, face directed towards the ceiling as he lightly strummed his favorite songs on guitar. He struggled with the guitar a bit, but he was still more talented on the instrument than you could ever be. His strumming stopped altogether after the question left your mouth. It took him a few empty seconds to register what you had said.

"I think," he started, "that everyone you meet in life will mean something to you in one way or another. If your relationship with them didn't work out, that just means that you– um, you've changed as a person and they were no longer for you. I guess everyone teaches you a lesson... kinda. Some people are just better fits than others. But, yeah. Everyone shapes you as a person whether you like being around them or not."

You let the silence creep back in before Calum's playing started up again. "What do you think I've learned from you?" you asked a moment later.

He stopped strumming once more. "I think you've learned not to put up with people's bullshit."

You chuckled lowly, then said, "no, I think I've learned that brown eyes are the most beautiful eyes." You weren't necessarily sure you had meant it jokingly or honestly, but you chose not to take it back nevertheless.

"Oh," Calum whispered.

You glanced up at him on the floor beside you. He was staring down at his hands, a soft smile tugging on his lips. The lamp on the desk adjacent to the both of you hardly illuminated any of his features, but somehow you could see him perfectly.

"Thanks," he said a couple seconds later.

It was then that you decided you were being honest. You had never seen eyes more breathtaking than Calum's in your entire life. Nor had you seen a more breathtaking smile. In fact, everything about him was stunning.

"You're making me fucking blush, babycakes." Calum's smile grew wider as he laughed, and your heart grew larger.

You decided that the exhaustion had gotten to the both of you, especially after you said, "I can make you do something way better than just blush, buttercup."

Calum's smile fell, and once his eyes darted over to you, yours glanced the other way. You said inappropriate things all of the time, as did he. But now, your heart was beating out of your chest at the thought of anything remotely sexual with him. He was your best friend. You would be lying to yourself if you said you hadn't thought of it before.

"'m gonna get ready for bed," he mumbled, then stood up. "Um– "

"I'll sleep on the couch," you said, knowing fully well how badly you fucked things up for the time being. "G'night."

You didn't wait for him to reply as you rushed out of the room, closing his bedroom door behind you. You couldn't imagine that things could get any worse.

As cliché as it sounded, things were worse. Over the next few days following that night, the two of you hardly saw each other. The vegan café you worked at was inconsistent with its shifts, therefore your hours this week were doubled compared to the week prior. Calum taught at school every weekday, and during the night he had band rehearsals. When you did see each other, the tension was thick, but not in a sexual way.

You really fucked things up. And, to make it even worse, you couldn't bring yourself to talk about it. Not many people tell their best friends that they could make them orgasm. No, that was crossing a big line, especially because it was unsolicited. You were both immensely uncomfortable.

The next Friday after the unfortunate, unwarranted confession, Calum showed up to the café after school. You had thirty minutes left of your shift when he arrived, so he waited as you prepared to clock out. Your stomach twisted in knots at the sight of him so calm and patient in the corner.

"Hi, buttercup," you muttered with an apologetic smile on your face. "Wanna go outside?"

"Please, babycakes, after you."

You were relieved to hear his nickname for you after a whole week of awkward encounters. The two of you made your way onto the patio quietly, and the next few moments after that were quiet as well.

"I'm sor– "

"Would you have done it?" he asked.

"What?"

Calum shifted in his chair. "Would you have done it?"

"I'm afraid I don't kn– "

"Baby," he said, now clearly irritated with you. "If you had the chance, would you have made me fucking cum?"

You tensed, giving the question a chance to bounce around in your head before thinking about it. And, God, your heart could not contain itself. You wanted to laugh it off and say no. You wanted to finally mention that you had been joking all along. But at the same time, you wanted to say yes. You wanted to say yes because you knew that it was the honest answer.

So, you nodded and said, "yeah." After that, your mouth caught up with your brain. "But, I would only try to if you absolutely wanted me to because consent is so important, and of course, you would only cum on your own accord, so I really can't say whether or not I could make you, plus– "

"Babycakes." Calum began to laugh. "Slow down."

You sunk down into your chair. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," he said. "I'm actually flattered, baby. And, just so you know, I would let you try to make me cum." His laughter only got louder.

"Shut up," you groaned. "I'm so embarrassed right now."

Calum scooted his chair closer to you, the metal of the legs grinding against the concrete sending a shiver up your spine. He reached out to take your hand, something he only did when he attempted to console you.

"What?" you grumbled, placing your cheek into your free hand.

"Nothing," he said with a grin, then inched his face closer to yours. His lips brushed your cheek before moving up to graze the shell of your ear. "You just look so damn cute when you're flustered. You wouldn't even have to try to turn me on." A second later, the scraping of the chair against the ground sounded again. Calum stood up before the words could sink in. He bid you adieu with a simple nod before walking away as if he hadn't said a thing.

The feeling of his lips against your skin left your mind a muddled mess. You could hardly think. Because of Calum – your best friend – you could no longer breathe.

-

"I've got a Reese's cup with your name on it, cakes," said Calum. He parked his bike on the rack beside the tree you two often sat under. Today, you were situated on top of a blanket in the grass, a few snacks strewn about for the both of you to share. Once he sat next to you, he placed the opened package of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups in between the both of you.

"You certainly know your way into a girl's heart, buttercup," you responded with a grin. "Thank you." You held out the you for a while.

"Specifically, your heart." Calum sent you a wink after that, and when he looked elsewhere, you frowned.

The past few days since that evening after work were different than usual. Calum, the typical silent asshole that sometimes barely spoke to you, had become flirtatious. His hands found your waist more often than not, and he couldn't stop winking. Not to mention his continuous pet names. Babycakes was normal, a common name he'd been using for four years, but now it was more "baby" over cakes.

"Is that why you call me 'buttercup'?" Calum questioned.

When you glanced back over at him, he was sitting with one leg up, his arm resting just against the knee as his eyes squinted from the blinding sun. In his leather jacket, you swore you had never seen anyone more attractive than him.

You said "no" as he handed you the spare Reese's cup, then continued by saying, "but it does help that you fucking love them." It took you two bites to devour the cup while Calum most likely took one bite overall for his. "Did you ever get the new Nirvana record from Jack's?"

He sighed. "I couldn't. Remember? The day I went was the same day Mikey had that allergic reaction to shellfish or whatever." Calum began to mumble a few incoherent words while he picked strands of grass to his left, and because you struggled to hear, you moved closer to him on the blanket.

"Yeah, that was totally so rude of him," you replied with a clever smirk.

Calum rolled his eyes. "Fuck off, cakes."

"Did ya wanna go get it now?"

He shook his head, finally glancing back over his shoulder to meet your gaze. Ever since that night you complimented his brown eyes, they were nearly all you could see when you looked at him. And now, underneath the afternoon sun, they were telling things that you were too afraid to admit to yourself.

By this point, the both of you were bumping shoulders. His leather jacket was cool against your bare skin, even with the warmer temperatures; you had no clue how he was able to survive in that thing. While he looked undeniably hot in the jacket, he had to be physically burning up as well. Maybe he wanted to prove to you that he was tough as nails, but even the toughest of pups are still cute as hell.

"Buttercup," you breathed out, resting your head on his shoulder. "I love you."

His chuckle shook the shoulder you were leaning on. "I love you, too, baby."

No, you thought, not like that.

-

You couldn't think straight anymore. Whatever you had for Calum was reminiscent of high school crushes, but you didn't want that. You wanted the old "babycakes" and "buttercup", although you couldn't help but be perfectly okay with just "baby" now. Just "baby" made you feel all giddy inside and out.

The front door to Calum's apartment slammed shut. The harsh scent of cigarettes filled the room as he stepped silently over to you. You tried to pretend to be asleep, and maybe he was convinced. He slipped his shoes off next to the couch and sat beside your curled-up figure, his hands finding your waist to pull you into him.

"You awake, baby?" he whispered. His hands were warm against you, and he attempted to bring you even closer once you didn't answer. "I was thinkin'," he continued with the same hushed whisper, "while I was outside. I wanna take you out sometime, properly. Nothing like that time we tried when we first met. I know you too well now. I know exactly what you like, what makes you smile..."

You felt Calum's lips press against your forehead before he spoke again.

"Maybe then I'd finally..." His voice trailed off before he said what he wanted to. After that, he pulled away from you, but only slightly. "I know you're awake, baby. You kinda snore in your sleep."

"Fuck you," you mumbled against his flannel.

A laugh rumbled through his chest, and he said calmly, "sorry, baby."

Things were quiet for a few moments, and then you realized that he probably expected an answer from you. You decided to peak up at him only to find his own eyes closed. Even in the dim lighting, he looked serene and beautiful. You stared down at his lips, thinking about how they look with a cigarette in between them, how they would look with your lips on them.

"Calum," you murmured.

His eyes opened as he hummed.

"Kiss me."

He gazed at you for what felt like ages, and then he smiled. He smiled his big and beautiful, crinkly smile, the one that makes his eyes all squinty and happy. Calum knew he didn't have to say anything after that. The two of you were already close in proximity, so he leaned in, grazing your cheek with his hand as his lips met yours in a delicate kiss.

You swore that magic was real.

He kissed you softly once more, hardening his grip on your waist but keeping the other hand gently on the apple of your cheek. The kisses were slow, but then the pace picked up. They were now needy, and you felt every ounce of Calum's hidden vulnerabilities pour out of him at that moment. His kisses were warm, a staple of his character.

"Baby," he said against you, his lips pressing small kisses to your cheek before making their way down to your neck. "You're all I've ever wanted." For a while after that, he held you, soaking in your warmth and scent, and just you. You were his babycakes. And he was your buttercup.

tags!

@lilhemmo @oh-annaa @youngbloodstyles @tommyswolves @lukeofmine  

[detectivehole]

Go comic feral, i followed this blog for a rEASOn and it's bc i like to hear your random vents and rants and also you reblog cool stuff. But i digress, go comic feral i am hERE for it

fine

PETER PARKER BEING RICH IS STUPID  he didnt even ern what he has himself it was nt even himn he wasnt in his body maybe if i had got to see him start fron nothing to being a cool ceo or whatever id be able to stand it but nooooooo he just GOT is for nothing so it feels stupid like “ha ha what if like tony stark haha” its DUMB and i haven’t read a spider man comic for a long time

deadpool/spiderman crossover comic bad. feels out of character a lot. funny concept and full of funny jokes but as far as characterization its bad in my opinion- was made to capitalize off the hype of the ship and we all know it

don cates should be banned from writing comics bc he fucking sucks and ill never forgive him for what he did/tried to do to venom

deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good dea

the venom movie was a lot of fun but it was very ooc a lot HOWEVER seeing some of the cut scenes and scripts you can see that it used to be actually fairly in character for the comics but a lot of scenes with eddie establishing himself as not actually the most nicest of guys (not that eddie isnt a nice guy deep down but he is a good amount fucked up with a big ol hero complex and a problem with ‘i can do no wrong” mentality sometimes) were cut and considering how the fandom for the movie treats him i can see why the cut those bits out bc i dont think movie goers would have liked him as much wich is a shame bc he is a good guy at the end of the day just fucked up

straight white male comic fans are the worst people in the world and breaking their fingers is a daydream i indulge in 

matt murdock is a himbo

foggy nelson is a good man who deserves better friends

i can tell what deadpool comics someone has read based on how they characterize wade in their fan works and i have a 80% success rate with it. the most common was the daniel way run but now its the spider-man/deadpool crossover series

soulda used miles for the mcu spidey instead of cannibalizing his story for parts like they did. dick move, Disney

mcu bad

i think just the idea of dc’s Red Tool is fucking hilarious but i dont like his character at all

batman and superman should fuck but they wont :/

matt and foggy should to but the comic industry is afraid of making long running characters lgbt bc theyre WEAK

deadpool need a canon bf they cant keep telling us hes pan and not showing us for reals- hell he could just go on one date or be shown having a one night stand or something- something beyond a damn joke

cable gay. no i will not listen to any other opinions.

im excited to read moon knight i have a book waiting i just have to finish my current one

SCUD the disposable assassin is the most underrated comic EVER and i LOVE IT however i think it ended stupid and bad however it went on fucking hiatus for like a decade and then was rapped up really fast so any ending is a godsend

i desperately want a long-form stand alone series abt wanda wilson bc shes the perfect foil for a good Feral Dumbass Woman comic. think abt it; shell sell immediately bc of recognizable brand, and then she can just go on violent stupid adventures without any of the other dp corps. it doenst have to line up with any canon i just want insane lady dp adventure comic. this is an unreasonable dream but mine none the less

i though that agent venom was stupid

tank girl is fucking amazing and i love it i never understand whats going on and i enjoy the confusion

reading early hulk comics feels like watching a weird, poorly produced old black and white sci-fi soap

there needs to be better, more easily accessed, official reading-order guides published and posted on the walls of comic shops everywhere

the 80s and 90s were the best time for marvel comics and no one can tell me otherwise. that was peak comic time

the worst time for comics was the 2000s and early 2010s

sometimes i am shocked by the art that gets the editors pass in comics. some of it is so bad and im not even talking about the disproportionate ladies

the lego marvel and dc movies are way better than the live action movies and im not even being sarcastic

seriously the 2000s made some horrible comics

i feel like committing acts of mass violence every time someone says comics arnt real reading/stories/implies theyre worth less of any value than a novel

i read the first deadpool comic i got so much that the art itself is so ingrained in my mind that people have shown my just the corners of panels and ive identified them correctly

i distinctly remember the first time the woman at the book store stopped asking me for parental permission to buy the comics i was getting (12yos) because i went there so often that she just remembered who i was and that the adult would say its fine

i refuse to talk about comics with people at cons because i am gatekept or flirted with every single time no matter what and there is no in between. and yea its because i have tits. youd think that eventually theyd learn but gross comic men never do and all the others have adopted the same policy as me so the closest i come to positive comic interaction at cons is standing in the same vicinity as another chick, looking at the same section, and the kinda smiling at each other

i think the avengers are boring. really really boring. the x-men are way better

i related to gwenpool too much when she first started and it scared/offended me so i stopped reading for a while until her character developed more and we stooped being so similar

i have spider-man bedding. i picked it out only a few months ago. its good it makes me feel cool in a very uncool way

watching spider-man as a kid made me wanna be a scientist. watching batman as a kid made me want to do martial arts. i ended up failing chemistry and falling on my face a lot instead.

i had a huge venom toy and a huge spiderman toy as a kid and while i did make them fight a lot i also made them hug just as much. i wanted them to be friends

on that note PETER IS MEAN TO THE SYMBIOTE NOW AND HE DONT EVEN HAVE A REASON NO MORE hes just such a dick about criminal reform eddie and the symbiote aint special with this- he says he believes people can be better but he really doesnt show it. he tends to think people are set in their ways and while this makes sense forthe most part considering how much hewas bullied as a kid/adult (that also contributes to his mild “i protect my own” mentality  tho at least he consciously fights that one) it stil pisses me off

i can think way more but i need to sleep i think

[mirioho]

Exactly, he should have told him he doesn't approve of what he did and they could have solved this earlier, it's just drama for the sake of drama 🙄

Yeahh it would have been more exciting because they already have a score to settle and the stakes would be higher than Rakuzan vs Seirin, also imagine Midorima smiling wide and hugging his team when they win!!

It was funny how he was instantly tsundere after Kise asks him "you wanna go to America to see Kagami?" that's why I have this headcanon where Kise would be the first one to know when Aomine starts harboring a crush on Kagami and he'd even pretend to flirt with Kagami to get a reaction out of Aomine but now imagine things spiral out and Kise starts to have a serious crush on Kagami and it'd be so angsty cause I think Kise with his charisma and his forwardness has more chances of going out with Kagami than Aomine does and imagine Aomine has to see them go out cause he lost his chance and I'm once again making subtle references to Friends where Rachel has to watch Ross go out with Julie and can't do anything about it :(( (but unlike Friends, Kagami will not cheat on Kise to get with Aomine because I do not like this trope)

Ohh the moving so he swishes is a good theory I haven't thought about it, anyways I just think his new fringe gives him a different aura compared to first season, he seems... kinder somehow

Yeahh it definitely must have stung him to see that but he'll never show his real feelings so ofc he had to be good about it :(

Here's the link to the fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33335878/chapters/82786648 and if the link doesn't work the story's name is "It might take time (but we will make it work)" and enjoy! :D

Yessss I agree I agree

I LIVE FOR MIDORIMA SMILING pls if we got to see him be so genuinely and openly happy celebrating with the rest of shutoku id combust 😭😭😭 miyaji ruffling midorima's and takao's hair or hugging them SGAFSJHDDJ it'd be so sweet to see 💗💖💗 aaaaa what could've been I cry

Kise fr calling him out like that was hilarious sfsfjshdkd  but OOOOH THATS SO ANGSTY SFSGDJJD I love it!! Kise flirting with kagami for fun before he realizes his feelings are real PLS that would be such a kise thing to do. Oh I hate cheating tropes too honestly kinda liked Ross and Rachel before that trope was introduced cause like idk for me personally there's no coming back from that. But poor Aomine, cause it's like he can't hate kise or kagami or really be upset with them since he'd always kept his real feelings to himself (even if it was obvious to others) but he'd always deny any feelings like that so that's why kise would go for it in the end. I think though that aomine would really cherish his one on one's and time with kagami even more from then cause it's like he can't have him as a lover but at least on the court they're still on the same wavelength and it feels like its just them and only them. And his heart would race from excitement and adrenaline but also cause damn kagami really is the best to play with and he's probably everything aomine could ever want in someone. And then...the game would end and whoever won in the end didn't matter all that much cause he'd come back to reality where he lost his chance. AUSGDHHDDJ I'll stop before I actually hurt my feelings agsgdjhfkf

YEAH!! I agree actually. I think they've softened his features somehow too, idk in what way but he just seems less...menacing?? Lolol he's still a menace but more friendly. He's not just sulking and brooding too, we see him smile more and that's nice. Smiling aomine is also something I live for 🤧💖💞💗 then again maybe it's just all their smiles

Ooooo!! Thank you thank you!! I'll read this once I'm off from school hours but aaaa i can't wait!! I'll make sure to post my thoughts :D

[ieroween1031]

Bev/Richie BrOTP Headcanons:

(These are really long; like I’ve said before, I have absolutely no idea how to convey ideas in less than like, seven thousand words, so headcanons are new to me. But if you have any requests, send me a prompt, and I’ll do some more because I actually really like doing them! Open to other fandoms, too, like Shameless, TWD or Stranger Things!)

Bev and Richie are best friends.

Like, BEST best friends.

They’re are always the ones with the bad ideas

And they’re always supporting the other’s bad ideas

Like how Bev is the only one cheering when Richie finally lays into Huggins for pushing Eddie in the hall, while all the other Losers try to pry him off

And Richie is all for Bev’s cousin making them fake IDs

They sneak out of their different classes at the same time to share a smoke in the girls’ bathrooms

They have English together, and their English teacher is NOT happy about it. She sat them next to each other once and has never immediately regretted a decision more in her life because they would NOT. SHUT. UP.

Not only that, but Richie would make dick jokes (out loud, of course; he’s no pussy) about EVERYTHING the class read, and Bev would laugh her ass off every time.

“Of course Juliet killed herself. Couldn’t live without that dick!”

“Why is it that when she does it, she just has to wear an A on her tits, but when I do it, I get detention for ‘inappropriately propositioning the music teacher’?”

“Call me Ponyboy, cuz I’ll let you ride it.”

“TOZIER!”

Meanwhile, Bev is hanging out of her desk, one hand on the floor literally crying with laughter.

After that, the teacher moves them completely across the room from each other

But do you think that stops them? Oh, no.

They try to sneak it and sit together anyway, since the seat next to Bev is empty, but they always get caught.

So they just literally shout across the room while the teacher’s talking

Or they stand and throw notes back and forth like football players, not even trying to hide it

It’s so bad that the teacher finally relents and lets them sit together, because then at least the ruckus is contained to one corner of the room

Richie drives Bev to school, since they live the closest, AKA they both live in ‘poor town’.

Richie has a thing for climbing houses and sneaking in windows (For real, though, I’ve never met anyone that disagrees, so if it wasn’t actually canon, it is now)

So when he has a bad day, or when Bev and her father argue, she’ll lock her door so her father can’t get in and sit on the roof with him and smoke.

This is where they got high for the first time, just the two of them.

If Richie’s having a really bad night, he’ll let himself into her room while she’s sleeping and just sleep on the floor (sometimes he goes to Eddie’s instead; it just depends on how he’s feeling that night).

Until one winter night. Bev woke up when Richie was closing the window. He wasn’t wearing a coat, so she told him to just lay in the bed with her to warm up.

He only meant to stay for a minute, but he was hella tired so he crashed. The next morning, he woke up with his head on Bev’s chest and her arms around him.

When she woke up, she just kissed the top of his head and left to go to the bathroom.

Now every time Richie spends the night, they sleep in Bev’s bed and cuddle.

Bev is the big spoon

Richie goes with Bev to get her belly button pierced when she’s sixteen. He holds her hand the whole time

He kinda wants his done too, but the piercer snorts and says it’s a girl thing (which upsets Richie even though he tries to hide it, and Bev is so angry at the guy that she ‘accidentally’ knocks over an entire case of jewelry on her way out)

In the end, he gets his nose pierced, and Bev tells him how sexy he looks the whole way home (Eddie agrees by nearly attacking him with kisses in the middle of his living room when Richie comes over to show him)

Richie has really small feet for a guy (which bothers him for some reason) so he’s always stealing borrowing Bev’s Doc Martens

Bev gets revenge by taking all his favorite Hawaiian shirts

He pretends to be mad, but Bev slays in them, and even his gay ass can’t deny that she looks better in them than he does

Everyone assumes that Richie is this player, because he flirts with literally everyone. Guy, girl, gay, straight, undecided, it doesn’t matter; Trashmouth Tozier will make kissy faces and wink at you

But only Bev knows that he’s a scared virgin, and that he’s only ever been intimate with Eddie

She and Ben have sex first, so she shares everything she knows with Richie. She even lifts him some condoms and a bottle of lube from the pharmacy since he can’t go buy them himself because people can see me, Beverly!

Richie helps Bev shop for lingerie, and she always models it for him at home.

He insists that she could wear a burlap bag and Ben would bust a nut, but she likes the way she feels knowing she’s dressed in leather or lace under her clothes and nobody else (but Richie) knows, so it’s as much for her as it is for Ben.

In that case, Richie wholeheartedly supports this, because he is all for his best friend feeling powerful and sexy, like Yaas, slay, my Queen!

Richie has absolutely no problem buying Bev tampons if she’s on her period and cramping so bad that she can’t get out of bed

And she gets killer periods, so when she’s on the rag, they’ll watch movies and pig out on ice cream together

Richie is a touch slut with everybody, always wanting physical contact, like hand holding, or playing with someone’s hair, or sitting on their lap, or kissing their cheeks

Bev (even more so than the rest of the Losers) lets him be as touchy as he wants, and never calls him out on it because she knows that aside from the Losers, he’s never been shown any other affection, so it’s normal for him to want it so badly

(Which she knows because she asked Ben to do the research on why kids from broken homes are sometimes more affectionate)

People always assume they’re a couple, since Richie is so handsy with her, and they never correct anyone

They always down to play the part when one of them is getting hit on, so much so that Richie has kissed Bev almost as much as Eddie

Richie knows when Ben and Bev do anything sexual for the first time, as Bev always tells him about it immediately afterward

Richie returns the favor, knocking on her window one Wednesday night in the middle of the summer of their Junior year, explaining that they’d finally done it. Eddie and Richie have finally lost their virginity to each other.

Bev cries and gives him the biggest hug

She cries even harder when Richie tells her that they used the condoms and lube she stole for him

She paints the nails on his middle fingers black for him every week, but just the middle fingers, because he says that’s the one he uses most often

They talk about serious things when they’re cuddled in bed together

Bev tells Richie that she knows in her heart that she’s gonna marry Ben, and that one day, Richie will be the godfather to their children

Richie doesn’t say anything, but Bev hears him sniffle happily

Richie admits that he plans to follow Eddie to whatever college he gets into, (since he was never planning on going to college, anyway) no matter where in the country it is

Even Alaska, even though Richie hates the cold

That’s when Bev knows he’s serious about Eddie, even though he’s never been serious about anything else in the world

He also confesses that he’s terrified when he thinks about how hard their life will be, and how much it fucking sucks that they’ll always live in constant fear, simply because they’re two guys in love

Bev agrees, and kisses Richie’s shoulder

But he also tells her that even with all the bullshit, teasing, violence and fear, he doesn’t ever wish he was straight, because Eddie was the best thing that has ever happened to him

They agree that no matter where they go, and how long they’re apart for, that they will always be there for each other

Fast forward ten years:

Richie stands up by the altar in a tux and a vest that’s the same shade of tiffany blue as the bridesmaid dresses

He gasps when he sees Bev, even though he and Eddie were with her when she found her dress. He even cries as she walks down the aisle

He holds her bouquet, keeps Ben’s ring safe during the ceremony, holds her dress when she has to pee, makes an inappropriate and hilarious speech, and basically just nails this whole Maid of Honor thing (Bev was fine with calling him her Man of Honor, but he insisted that he was not missing out on anything that came with the job, and that includes the title Maid of Honor)

He DJ’s a lot of the reception, until Bev pulls him onto the dance floor for a slow dance

He tells her how much he loves her while they’re dancing, how happy he is and how beautiful she looks. How proud he is of what she’s overcome, and how honored he is to have such an amazing woman for a best friend

And now she’s crying

Fast forward two more years:

Bev beams from her spot as Best Man, looking sharp as shit in a tailored black tuxedo and a pastel pink bow tie (Picking the colors was a process. Eddie loved pastels, but argued that light pink was too ‘girly’ and obvious for a queer wedding. Richie, however, was not having it, and insisted that Eddie’s favorite color be showcased in all its grandeur, no matter how gay it was)

She got to hold Ben’s and Richie’s hands (After much deliberation about who was going where, they put Ben and Stan on Richie’s side, while Eddie had snatched up Bill and Mike for his party) while Eddie walked down the aisle, alone but confident

She cries like a baby when Richie mentions her in his vows

“I told Beverly years ago that I was gonna follow you no matter where you went, and she never doubted me for a second. She’s always encouraged me to chase my dreams, and that’s you.”

Bev helped them decide what song should be their first dance song

Spoiler Alert: It’s Everything I Do (I Do It For You) by Bryan Adams

Afterwards, all the Losers storm the floor for their own special dance (they dance to St. Elmo’s Fire)

They all hold hands and dance and sing at the top of their lungs, even though Bill still stutters a little, Eddie’s tone-deaf, Ben is usually too embarrassed to sing, and Stan has two left feet

Beverly is the last person to kiss the boys before they leave for their honeymoon, and she watches the limo drive off with eyeliner streaming down her face

[chasholidays]

Happy holiday season I guess?? As always, thanks for doing these! I love your writing so much. I'd love an alternate POV of The Nature of My Game.

Original fic here!

The first time Bellamy thinks about going into Flower Hour, it’s the week The Force Awakens comes out, when the sign is, for once, not names that will never be his, and is instead something that might apply. But If your favorite Star Wars character is LEIA, come inside for a free flower! must go up on a weekend, because he didn’t see it and there’s no way they just didn’t feature her as a potential favorite. He refuses to believe Leia was just skipped.

Most days, he checks the sign out of idle curiosity. He knows, with absolute certainty, that he will never walk past and find that his name is on the sign, but he still finds it kind of fun to what they have put up. There’s generally some cool letting and decoration, and it’s not like it’s hard to see the sign. It’s just this idle thing. He doesn’t expect to ever interact with it, not unless they do another “if your favorite X is Y” kind of deal because, again, Bellamy is never going to make it onto whatever random name generator they’re using for this. And he doesn’t ever plan on needing flowers, so, yeah. Just a weird diversion.

But then, one morning in February, he’s going to school early to do retests, and he sees a cute girl in a knitted beanie doing touch-ups on the sign, which has been on a Hamilton theme all week. And, okay, he’s not completely shallow, but he was already curious, so if he can strike up a conversation with a cute girl and find out more about the sign, that’s definitely a win.

Unfortunately, he doesn’t actually have a plan for the conversation, which is how, once he gets back to the store after work and finds the same cute girl behind the register, he ends up saying, “I have a complaint about your sign.”

She cocks her head, frowning a little. “Which one? I have a lot of signs.”

“The one outside. If your name is Angelica–”

“That was my first guess.” She straightens up, becoming visibly more professional as he watches. “What’s the complaint?”

“Don’t get me wrong, I like the Hamilton theme. But you know how much those signs suck for people who don’t have common names? Or, even worse, people who have common names, but don’t have common names in the US.”

She thinks this over for a second. “My name is Clarke. With an e at the end. So I get some of that. Not the non-US names, but still. Did you have a suggestion, or do you just like complaining?”

It’s a valid question. “I do like complaining. How do you pick the names?” he asks, mostly to make conversation. “I know it’s not Hamilton every week.”

“How long has this been building?”

“You’re on the way to the train station.” She seems more annoyed than upset, so it feels fairly safe to add, “And I named my little sister and then spent my entire childhood getting blamed for how she could never find anything with her name on it at souvenir shops.”

“What’s her name?”

“Octavia.”

“Oh, wow, yeah. That one never hit my radar, honestly.”

“I bet you’re out of Bort license plates too,” he says without thinking, but she gets the reference and laughs. Which is nice. Clarke-with-an-e is getting cuter by the minute, and she might not even find his attempts to make conversation completely awful. Weird names apparently isn’t as terrible a conversation starter as he thought.

“I don’t think there’s any natural way I can use Octavia for my giveaway without looking like I’m specifically targeting your sister. Is she local? Is she cute? Would she appreciate it?”

He makes a mental note that she seems to be interested in women, which doesn’t mean she can’t be interested in him, but he shouldn’t assume she is. Not that he’s really expecting it to go anywhere anyway, but it’s a good thing to keep in mind. “She’s got a boyfriend, so I don’t think there’s much point in you trying to lure her in with a free flower. But if they ever break up, I’ll let you know.”

“So your outrage is theoretical,” she says, and he nearly laughs.

“You haven’t hit my name yet either. I doubt you’re going to.”

“What is it?”

“That would be telling.”

She gives him a somewhat patronizing smile. “That’s exactly what it would be, yeah. The general response to asking is telling.”

The normal, logical thing to do would be to just tell her. She’d probably put his name up, if she has any control over the whole thing, which would be kind of cool. He wasn’t lying; he never has seen his name anywhere.

But they’ve been teasing each other, so it feels a lot more right to say, “If you find it, I’ll be sure to get my flower. But, like I said, there’s no way.”

“Well, thanks for that useful feedback, then,” says Clarke-with-an-e. “I’m looking forward to continuing to not putting your name up on my sign.”

“Me too,” he says. “Definitely the highlight of my day.”

He isn’t really expecting anything special on Monday, the start of a new theme week at best, but when he passes by late after his department meeting on Monday, he sees the name, written in the usual clear, bold hand is Rumpelstiltskin, and it feels like that has to be personal.

There’s certainly no harm in stopping by to check.

Clarke is behind the counter, looking a little bored, but she perks up at the sight of him, straightening up and grinning as if she’s been waiting. “Did I get it?” she asks.

“So close.”

“Getting warmer?”

“Much closer than any of the Schuyler sisters. Did you get anyone?” he can’t help asking. He’s sure most of her names get at least a few hits a day, but sacrificing a whole day of it to a joke seems ill-advised. Even the Hamilton names were pretty common, except for maybe Angelica and Peggy.

“For what?” she asks, confused.

“I guess any of it,” he admits. “It’s a cute gimmick, but I’m wondering how much it works.”

She leans in close, a smile lurking around her lips. “Want to know the secret?”

He mirrors the movement. “Sure.”

“It can’t fail. It creates business because it’s cute and people like coming in to talk about it,” she says, which makes him feel a little less special. Apparently he’s not the only one. “I don’t check IDs or anything; it’s worth a few free flowers.” But then she adds, “Okay, I’d check yours,” and he’s back to feeling special.

He snorts. “Hey, I haven’t been lying to you. I’m telling you things aren’t my name.”

“I’ll still want proof.”

“Yeah, okay. If you ever find my name, I’ll give you proof. Seriously, how many Rumpelstiltskins?”

“Eleven. It was a good day for me. They all thought it was hilarious. The sign is great for foot traffic.”

“Glad it’s working for you,” he says, and before he knows it, he’s a regular. He goes in once a week, chats to Clarke, finds out what the most popular names were for the week, and, when she asks, starts giving her hints about his own name.

Which is actually really fucking difficult, as it turns out. He’s never put much thought into the name Bellamy before, and now he feels as if he has to learn absolutely everything about it, which mostly just teaches him that, to the extent that Bellamy is a first name, it’s usually a woman’s first name, and Clarke is definitely never going to figure it out.

If she didn’t seem to be the most stubborn person in the entire universe, he’d consider just telling her, but he thinks if he did, she’s just be pissed at him for not giving her the chance to guess herself. Still, with the information she has–his year of birth, the etymology of the last name Bellamy, and his ethnic background–he thinks she could go for thirty years without even coming close to figuring it out.

So it’s probably good that she gets a little help.

It’s a fairly unremarkable day, just a random Sunday in March. In theory, he knew that Clarke closed early on Sundays, because he’s seen her hours in the window, but it’s not the kind of thing that he considers relevant to his life. He still hasn’t ever interacted with Clarke outside of the shop, after hours, or over the weekend, and he has no idea how to start. It seems weird to ask someone out when, after five months, she still doesn’t even know his name.

So he was not expecting to run into her at the park, especially not with Miller.

Miller only knows about Clarke because alcohol exists and Bellamy has been lamenting a little about how there is this smart, gorgeous, funny girl he’s definitely into, but does not know how to interact with further. Miller’s response to the situation is always, “I really can’t tell you anything about how to flirt with women.”

Which makes him a deeply unfortunate witness for their first non-store interaction.

It is, at least, in part Bellamy’s own fault. He’s the one who throws the frisbee in deliberately the wrong direction, and he’s the one who sees it hit the water.

They both run over to survey the damage, but Bellamy gets there first; he has to admit, he’s kind of proud.

“I got it really far, right?” he calls over his shoulder, and Miller glares.

“You’re a fucking asshole, Blake!”

“Takes one to know one, Miller,” he shoots back.

Miller catches up to him at the lake shore and shakes his head. “Dude. What the fuck.”

“It was an accident,” he lies.

Miller scowls at him. “I’m not getting it.”

“You want me to get it? I’d rather just give it up for dead. Buried at sea. Viking-style.”

“It’s my frisbee.”

“I’ll buy you a new one. It’s fucking fifty degrees. That water would give my hypothermia. You’d miss my junk if it froze off.”

In theory, he knew that other people were around, and he even noticed there was a person on the bench. He’d just sort of assumed that he didn’t know them and that they weren’t paying attention. No one is supposed to care about his shit-talking.

But then he hears Clarke says, “You’d have to stay in pretty long to get hypothermia.”

He jumps and turns, hoping against hope that he’s wrong, that he won’t actually see her there, but of course there she is, sitting on a bench with a sketchpad, smiling smugly in his general direction.

Miller loves it, of course. “Thanks for the medical advice, bench girl. See? It’s fine.”

“That’s Clarke,” he says, and adds, “She doesn’t know my name,” because that should clear it up. And prevent Miller from calling him Bellamy, as a bonus.

“Wow,” she teases. “I always wondered how you’d introduce me. That was even more awkward than I thought it would be.”

He focuses on her because he knows if he looks at Miller, he will probably just throw himself in the lake. He knew the whole Clarke thing was weird, but it was so much easier to pretend it wasn’t before anyone else was witnessing it.

So he gives her a sheepish smile and says, “Hi. Sorry about–everything about this.”

“Dude,” says Miller.

“Shut up. She runs that flower shop by the train station,” he adds, mostly so Clarke won’t think he’s been talking about her.

But this is Miller, so of course that just makes it worse. “Oh, you know he’s obsessed with your signs, right?”

Clarke grins. “Yeah, I was getting that impression.”

There’s nothing to do but try to get the conversation back on track. “So, uh, what are you doing here?”

“The correct line is Do you come here often?” says Miller.

“Go jump in the lake for your frisbee and leave us alone,” he says, glaring, and Miller actually listens. At least to the extent that he leaves, even if he doesn’t jump in the lake. So apparently his massive crush on Clarke is just as massive and obvious as he thought, and probably just as hopeless, given Miller is trying to help, for once “Sorry,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. “I guess I just–I didn’t think you lived around here.”

He’s not sure what he’s apologizing for, except for his entire life, but Clarke doesn’t call him out on it. “Why would I ever live close to my work? Makes no sense.”

“Assume I’m really bad at thinking through basically every interaction I’ve ever had with you.”

“I got that impression too. I’m drawing and pretending it’s warmer than it is,” she adds, scooting over on the bench in clear invitation, and he joins her.

“Yeah, we were playing frisbee and pretending it’s warmer than it is.”

“Until you threw the frisbee in the lake.”

“By accident,” he protests. That’s his story and he’s sticking to it. “Miller’s the one who didn’t catch it.”

She grins. “Clearly entirely his fault. I don’t think your junk would actually freeze off, by the way. You’d come out relatively unharmed, with all your, uh. Vital organs.”

He’s pretty sure his entire body flushes, including all of his vital organs. “I’m still sorry, by the way.”

“I’m not. It was funny.”

“I guess that’s about the best I could hope for. What are you drawing?” he adds.

“Nothing special. Just some sketches.”

“They’re really good,” he says, truthfully. “Not that I didn’t–you do the signs, and those are good, so I knew you were good.”

“You know you don’t actually have to feel weird, right?” she teases. “I’m happy to see you.”

“Yeah?”

“If I didn’t like talking to you, I definitely wouldn’t encourage you. I would have just told you I didn’t care what your name was and told you to leave.”

“That seems like bad customer service.”

“Okay, not in those exact words.” She drums her fingers on her sketchpad. “I definitely scared away the guy who gave me the idea for the if your name is sign.”

“Really?”

“He was a douchebag! Just a douchebag with a good idea. In his honor, the featured name will never be Chad. So if that was your name–”

“Definitely not Chad, no.”

She hums, noncommittal, like she doesn’t totally believe him, which he doesn’t understand until he passes the store on Monday and sees her sign: If your name is BLAKE OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT, come inside for a free flower!

Miller did call him Blake, now that Bellamy thinks of it. He doesn’t always, but whenever they’re doing anything even vaguely resembling a sport, Miller switches into jock mode. But she couldn’t think that’s his name. It’s so normal.

He’d been booking it to make it before she closed, and from the way her whole face lights up when she sees him, she must not have been expecting him to show up.

“I should have said, the play is kicking into high gear, so I’m going to be scarce this week,” he explains. “Probably the whole month. Play then spring break. I’m going to be a mess until April.”

“So you’re not just running away because I finally figured out your name.”

She sounds so smug, he feels bad correcting her. “Yeah, uh–that’s my last name. Sorry.”

There’s a pause as she thinks this over, finally settling on, “So, your first name is some obscure French last name, and your last name is–Blake.”

“Yup.”

“Wow.” She cocks her head. “You ever consider switching them?”

“I like my name.” He wets his lips. “You know, last name is really pretty good. That basically counts as–”

“Nope. I got a taste of power. I’m going to figure out the first name.”

“You know, I honestly believe you. Even if I’m not sure Miller calling me Blake counts as figuring it out,” he can’t help teasing. She’s so competitive, it’s impossible not to bait her.

“You didn’t tell me. So it counts. Blake,” she adds, thoughtful. “Something Blake.”

“Something Blake,” he confirms. “Getting closer and closer.”

She waits until the play is over before she does a French last names theme week, which is so hilarious he can’t help stopping by on a Saturday, for the first time ever, just to see what she throws up. It’s busier than it usually is when he comes in, not shockingly, and Clarke doesn’t even notice him until he’s been browsing for ten minutes.

“Your name isn’t actually Mercier, is it?”

“No. But you know I don’t always come by on weekends, right? You could get it and we’d never know.”

“I was going to tell you on Monday.”

“I feel like it doesn’t count if I don’t see it. What’s tomorrow?”

“Lefevre.”

“I can confirm none of those are my name. Have you gotten any Merciers? Are people still coming in?”

“I’ve mostly gotten last names, and I’ll give flowers for last names.” She leans on the counter. “Almost recovered from the play?”

“Almost. Just in time for spring break.”

“Which is a bad thing.”

“It’s going to be fun, we’re going to Italy. But I’m going to want to murder the kids after about six hours.”

She hums, thoughtful. “I’d probably put up with a bunch of kids if I got to go to Italy.”

“Yeah, that’s basically what I’m telling myself.” He sighs. “I know this is pointless to say, but if you ever want me to just tell you my name, I will.”

“I can just call you Mr. Blake, right? That’s part of your name. It’s close enough.”

“That’s what students call me, please don’t.”

She laughs. “I’m going to get it. I keep telling you.”

“You do keep telling me.” He wets his lips. “So, I’m here, I want to relax. Anything I can do?”

“Your idea of relaxing is asking me if I have work for you?”

“I hear a lot of people use gardening to relax,” he says, with a shrug. “If there’s anything you need–”

To his relief, she looks pleased, not weirded out. “I think I can find you something, Mr. Blake.”

He very nearly screws up and says, Call me Bellamy, but he remembers at the last moment. Somehow, he doesn’t seem to have fucked this relationship up yet. There’s no reason to start now.

On Friday, she asks if he’ll be in on Saturday again, and he tells her, regretfully, that he’s got to get ready for the trip.

“Oh,” she says. “Well, have fun. I’ll see you when you get back?”

“Yeah,” he says. “Have a good week.”

“You too.”

He does, of course. He complains to his sister non-stop about everything, but that’s how he and his sister prefer to communicate, and he wishes he’d asked for Clarke’s number so he could send her pictures and tell her stories, just so he could talk to her.

His crush might be bigger than he thought, and he already thought it was pretty big.

When he gets back, he for once has nothing to do after school, so he can actually go right over to Clarke’s and say hi. It’s hard not to feel like he’s maybe making too big a deal of it, missed her more than their relationship really warrants, and then he sees the sign: If your name is BELLAMY BRADBURY BLAKE, come inside for a free flower!

He takes a picture, just for posterity, and heads inside to see Clarke rearranging rows of potted flowers. She perks up at the sound of the bell, breaks into a brilliant smile and, yeah.

He definitely has a shot.

“Were you stalking me while I was gone?” he teases, leaning against the wall next to her.

“Yup,” she says, unrepentant. “Did you know Bellamy doesn’t make the top one thousand last names in France? I was never going to figure it out.”

“Nope. I did try to warn you.” He frowns. “How did you?” Now that he thinks about it, it is kind of creepy. Maybe she tracked down Miller.

“Found your sister.”

That probably should have been his first guess. “So, actual stalking. Nice. I guess did give you her name.”

“I just put it on the sign. For three days,” she admits.

“I think it would have been easier to just ask me.”

“Don’t tell me you weren’t really excited to see your name on that board.”

He’s going to make the picture his new facebook profile picture, probably, so he can’t deny that.“Yeah, okay, I was. Is it weird if I say I missed you?” he asks, looking her up and down. Her hair’s kind of frizzing out and she looks tired, but gorgeous. “When I was gone.”

“I put out a beacon for your sister,” she points out. “I think it’s pretty safe to say I missed you too.”

“Awesome. Can I get a free flower, or do you need to see my ID first?”

“ID, definitely.”

He hands it over without complaint, watches her check it. “So, yeah. I’m Bellamy. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, Bellamy.”

He swallows hard, but–she’s not going to mind. She can say no. “So, this might be too soon, since we just introduced ourselves, but I was wondering if you wanted to get dinner with me sometime.”

She smiles, bright and beautiful. “Yeah?”

“Maybe Friday. If you’re free.”

“I’m free, yeah. Dinner would be great.”

It is great, and she comes home with him after, which is even better, and the next year, on their anniversary, the sign’s out again: If your name is BELLAMY, come in for a free flower!

“I’m probably going to be your only taker for that one,” he tells her, leaning down for a quick kiss.

“That’s okay,” she says. “I figure it never gets old, seeing your name on the sign.”

She does it every year for their anniversary, and she’s right. It never does get old.

[forever-dancing-in-a-daydream]

Jack Maynard Imagine- Youtube’s OTP

Summary: YouTube ships you two and so does Jack.

Requested: Yes!

Prompts: “We’d make such a cute couple.” “Are you flirting with me?”

Requests: Open!

Warnings: Swearing

A/n: I’m really excited to write this. Hope you like it

Word Count: 806

—

“Oh yeah and everyone’s favourite ship will be coming round later” Joe joked.

Joe was live streaming and all the buttercream boys were at his apartment expect Jack. The comments exploded after he mentioned you two. Everyone was talking about how much they shipped you.

Since you moved in with Jack a couple of months ago because you need a place to stay and were constantly in his videos now, everyone started shipping you .

The boys found it hilarious because you and Jack had a love, hate relationship and were always bickering.

“Oh look and here they are!” Mikey announced.

“What?” You said as you and Jack walked in.

“We’re live streaming and everyone’s talking about how much they ship you.” Joe explained.

“Hiiiii guys!” You said and waved at Joe’s phone frantically.

“You wave so weirdly” Jack laughed.

“I’m just excited to talk to everyone stopping being a dick.” You replied.

“Haha someone just said: YESS Y/N TELL HIM SHOW WHOS BOSS!” Joe read out.

“Yess y/n slay” Conor said sassily while clicking his fingers in an s motion making you laugh.

“Lets do Q&A!” Joe exclaimed.

“Yass” You agreed and sat down on the sofa in between Joe and Jack. Squished slightly because you were trying to fit 9 people on a sofa that was made for 6.

“You guys look squished” Byron read out.

“Yeah someone move the fuck up” Oli complained as he was basically being pushed off the sofa.

“There is zero room.” You replied as you hip was shoved into Jacks as people tried to move up.

“Yeah just sit on the floor.” Jack said.

“Fine” Oli sighed and got off the sofa.

“Someone thinks y/n should shit on Jacks lap” Josh laughed.

“I’m good thanks” You replied shaking your head.

“Come on I wanna I answer questions” Mikey said.

You answered a few generic questions and Conor talked about possible new music in the future.

“Jack and y/n what’s your opinion on being shipped?” Caspar read.

You just looked at jack like eww no and everyone laughed.

“I get why they’d ship us though, we’d make a cute couple. Anyone would look cute with me because-“

“Because you’re so ugly you could make anyone look cute?” You teased.

“Ouch!” Jack prentend to be hurt.

“Boi look what you’ve done” Joe said and pointed to the comment section.

The fans were going wild.

There were comments like:

“THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HER.”

“DID HE JUST SAY HE THINKS THEY’D MAKE A CUTE COUPLE?!!”

“I just took like a thousand screenshots of the way Jack looks at her.”

“PLEASE GET MARRIED”

“MY SHIP IS SAILING!!”

“NsisjJsnajsksbajskajan”

“OMG MY OTP I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!” Conor joked making everyone laugh.

As Jack laughed he put his hand on your thigh. It was a sly move but you knew they’d notice it, they noticed everything.

“Jack move your hand” You whispered so no one else heard but him.

He just smirked.

Joe was answering a question as Jack put his foot on yours.

“What are you doing?” You whispered.

“Nothing” He replied.

You tried to shift your foot but he wouldn’t budge.

“Are you flirting with me?” You asked quietly.

“Possibly” He replied a stupid grin on his face.

You jabbed your elbow into his side.

“No need to get violent!” Jack laughed holding his side.

“For fucksake, go have your secret conversation somewhere else! No ones listening to me they’re just watching the way you two bloody look at each other” Joe hissed.

You both laughed.

-

Later on you were being tagged in so many screenshots of you and Jack from the live stream. Everyone was talking about how you looked at each other when the other one wasn’t looking.

“Have you seen how many photos we’re being tagged in?” You asked Jack who was sat next You on the sofa looking at his phone.

“Yeah I’m liking a lot of them” He answered.

“Whyyy? You’ll make them think there’s actually something between us” You laughed.

“Well maybe there should be” He said quietly.

“What?” You were wondering if he said what you thought he did.

“Maybe there should be” He repeated louder.

“Care to elaborate on that?” You asked.

“They ship us for a reason y/n, that reason is because it’s probably really obvious that I’m head over heels in love with you.” He said the last part quietly.

Your jaw fell open.

“Wait what?” You spluttered.

“You heard me” He mumbled.

“Jack I-I had no ide-a-a” You stuttered

“Yeah I know, it’s been so obvious to everyone else but you and I get it you don’t feel the same.” He sighed.

“That’s not true” You said.

“What?” He asked.

“You heard me” You said before smashing your lips into his.

[sadrien]

wanna chat? pt.21

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21

yo whats up. before we start, a few things:

yes, adrien and nino’s kiss was before dark cupidyes, adrien knows that him and marinette kissed during dark cupid. marinette told him in ch15even if it wasn’t i doubt adrien would count dark cupid as his first kiss, seeing that he doesn’t remember it

now that thats done, warning for discussions of like...murder in this chapter? they dont actually kill anyone but theyre just like...casually discussing how you would kill someone with x or y. its mostly just ridiculous but there are a few parts that could be considered kind of gross so, tread carefully if needed. (conversation creds to @agrestenoir​, @breeeliss​, @reyxa​ and a few cameos from @chassecroise​ because i basically stole that wild ride of a conversation we were on)

enjoy?

11:24

nino: im pretty sure chat noir was just flirting with me

ladybugfan2020: get it boy would u break up with me for chat?

nino: … yeah probably

ladybugfan2020: cool same

nino: im glad were on the same page

23:57

mari: Im gonna go murder myself in a bowl of whipped cream. Bye

nino: how

ladybugfan2020: are u gonna drown in whipped cream because that would be the best death tbh

nino: i dont think its murder if you kill yourself

ladybugfan2020: i would get a sibling to do it

mari: Bad news alya

ladybugfan2020: or like……………….a hitman hire a hitman to kill you with a bowl of whipped cream

nino: yo since youre dead you dont have to pay them

mari: I dont think thats how that works

adrien: What did I just walk into??

nino: YO HITMAN HIT ME UP WITH SOME MORE WHIPPED CREAM

ladybugfan2020: how would u kno how it works mari?

mari: Hey adrien Just murdering myself with a bowl of whipped cream

adrien: Not possible

ladybugfan2020: um??? says who

adrien: Prove to me you can die by whipped cream Draw me a diagram

nino: if i had to choose a topping to die by id choose hot fudge probably

mari: Ooo

adrien: If you got a tub of whipped cream And like Just hit a person with it With like…the tub That might Kill you I guess?

nino: bruh

ladybugfan2020: but wouldnt u rather choke on whipped cream

adrien: That’s harder? Like you’d have to get it into their mouth

mari: If anyone says anything about kinks I will leave this groupcaht and terminate all friendships

nino: fucking chri st

alya: IM

adrien: Wait wait Ignore mari and her gutter mind

mari: HEY

adrien: Tell me How to kill a person with whipped cream

nino: why? you got someone you want dead? there are easier ways my dude

adrien: Indulge me

ladybugfan2020: k heres the plan u knock them out with the tub of whipped cream theyr not dead but theyr momentarily unconscious then u stuff a bunch of whipped cream in their mouth and up their nose and when they regain consciousness they choke on the whipped cream and die

adrien: Ok Ok so You take the can And beat them over the head Until unconscious

ladybugfan2020: yes

adrien: BUT You fill their nostrils

nino: apparently

adrien: With whipped cream And their mouths

ladybugfan2020: uh huh

adrien: Let it dry Until they slowly

ladybufan2020: dry??????????

adrien: Just suffocate

nino: no no put them in a freezer let the cream freeze

mari: This is not where I was expecting this conversation to go Wait what????

ladybug2020: no u wait until they regain consciousness does whipped cream dry @mari do u have whipped cream we can test stuff with

mari: Why go through all this trouble when you can just snap someones necK?

nino: put them in th e freezer so the whipped cream freezes and retains its shape

ladybugfan2020: because death by whipped cream is the best way to go

nino: itd be like shoving a throat shaped mold down their throat and they cant breath e around it and they die

ladybugfan2020: y would u do that

adrien: No man

mari: What the fukc

adrien: You’d have to like

nino: ok look you cant breathe around a block of cream in your mouth and nostrils eventually youll pass out from lack of oxygen

ladybugfan2020: ye thats teh point of putting whipped cream in their mouths

mari: But then is it death by whipped cream or just suffocation

adrien: No that’s my point

nino: so freezing it would work the best

adrien: …. Wait

ladybugfan2020: the WHIPPED CREAM is doing the suffocation

adrien: It IS death Wait No

ladybugfan2020: so it IS death by whipped cream

adrien: It’s death by whipped cream The whipped cream Caused it …. Hm

nino: yes

ladybugfan2020: ok but y does that working best matter either way

mari: Mmmm now Im thinking about death by chocolate

ladybugfan2020: they die and its death by whipped cream

adrien: Death by chocolate is more complicated

nino: if you take melted chocolate and insert it into your veins

adrien: You can’t beat someone with a Hershey’s bar

ladybug2020: putting them in the freezer would just be extra @ the freezing the whipped cream

nino: you can poison yourself

adrien: I don’t know I think chocolate is too thick for that

ladybugfan2020: about the beating what about this giant ass ones u can buy online for lots of money i dont have adrien might have to provide the murder weapon for this one

mari: I meant death by chocolate cakes adn stuff but ok Good job team

adrien: Oh

nino: the meter and a half chocolate bar al?

adrien: Just buy like… 10000 chocolate cakes

ladybugfan2020: hell yeah nino

nino: i mean… you can shove cake up their nose?  

adrien: Get a pick up truck

mari: Where the actual fuck is this going

adrien: And then just All at once

ladybug2020: nah nah you could do it the same way as the whipped cream

adrien: Drop the cakes on the person All at once

nino: run them over

adrien: Until they die NO That’s not death by chocolate cake That’s death by getting hit with a truck

mari: Alya whatare you even talkling about

ladybufan2020: u put the cake in their mouth after u knock them cold

adrien: Alya what the hell

nino: put cake over their eyes

adrien: Stop knocking them out!

mari: Why is cake on eyes????

nino: so they can pay the boat man and cross the river styx

mari: Youre spending too much time with Adrien

nino: or just throw them in the freezer

mari: Can we not just eat dessert?????

ladybugfan2020: do u kno how hard it is to put a body in a freezer

nino: not that hard

mari: How the fuck do you know??????

nino: alyas little sisters locked me in a freezer once when i brought them to her moms work it sucked man

ladybug2020: boy that was a body sized freezer

adrien: It’ll be like that scene in Tangled

mari: jfc

ladybugfan2020: u gotta have the strength to lift like,,, a pERSON

adrien: Where Rapunzel tries to put Flynn in the dresser

mari: All my friends are serial killers

ladybufan2020: thats hard bruh

nino: not if you put your back into it fireman carry

adrien: Ok question What do you do AFTER you put it in the freezer? At least if you chop a body up

nino: whoa there sweeney todd

adrien: You just drain the blood

ladybugfan2020: too messy

adrien: Fill a bag with spices Put the parts in And just throw it out

nino: just roast it though???? dude, embrace the sweeney

ladybugfan2020: no but thats not death by whatever sweet you wanna kill them with thats just killing them

nino: like if i throw it in a fire, itll smell like shit, but you can pass it off as burning trash or something

adrien: Where would you even do that? That’s so conspicuous

nino: first of all sweeney todd did it in londo n second like...farmland?

adrien: Yeah Sweeney Todd isn’t real though

ladybug2020: ah yes the farmland in paris

nino: well drive out to the farm with the body

adrien: Who are you going to blame it on when they find a burned body???

nino: theres no one around its farmland theres like 2 people they wont find a burned body

adrien: The suspect list can fit on a post it note Do you know how they identify burned bodies? We’ve watched detective shows together, right? I didn’t hallucinate that???

mari: Didnt this start with me saying I was gonna murder myself in a bowl of whipped cream

adrien: Dental records Nino

nino: just do it at a vacant farm dude

adrien: You’d have to like Pull the teeth out THEN brun them Messy but the job gets done

mari: I needed to know like -2 things I learned tonight This morngn

nino: messy???? YOU CHOPPED THEM UP

mari: This conversation is over 10 minutes long and thats about 9 minutes too long

adrien: And honestly? If you’re going through this? Just dissolve the flesh

ladybugfan2020: gross

nino: ohhh acid bath

adrien: Well you decided to murder someone Al It’s going to be gross

ladybugfan2020: where do u get acid tho cause thats a lot of acid

adrien: I’m sure you could find it somewhere

mari: Ok Im ending this conversation befor esomeone googles something they regret

ladybugfan2020: call up lb and cn we now have a solid plan for defeatin g hawk moth just beat him up with whipped cream

mari: Im going to bed I hate all of you

nino: night dude dont let the bedbugs bite

ladybugfan2020: or the murderers

mari: Fuck off

 2:46

adrien: I’ve been watching so many cop shows I could probably get away with murder

ladybugfan2020: HOW to get away with murder lmao im hilariou s

nino: yo consider this going the fuck to sleep

adrien: One more episode

nino: im gonna show up at your house and force you to go to bed

adrien: What are you going to do cuddle me to sleep?

nino: yes

ladybugfan2020: hi get a room

adrien: </3

 4:19

mari has renamed this conversation to “fuck you all”.

mari: I dreamed about murder and literally had blood all over me I hat e you peopl e

 6:48

nino: nice carrie style

 7:02

adrien has renamed this conversation to “out damned spot”.

 7:14

ladybufan2020: what a nerd