#hes got that pathetic wet cat energy to him

[charlietime]

Quick Jistir Doodle while I work on something bigger

[thatbitchery]

The way to stand on business is to have hard rock values and hobbies. A lot of you suffer because you're pathetic little chameleons that learned to survive their childhood by blending in and masking (I'm looking STRAIGHT at the autistics and daughters of strict dads right now. 100% straight shots being taken) and have nothing to stand on PLUS you just- don't have a life. Of course you tolerate bs you have nothing to do all day. Some of us have jobs and horses to ride and paintings to make where will I get the time to be taking BS hun I have work to do? Bark at the void or something. You have all the time in the world so you are accessible enough for people to know they can simply just- cancel plans and your spineless wet tissue ass back will give in. If you are always available why would anyone prioritize you? Get a job and hobby so you also cancel plans and make them earn you like a woman with a working mind. Get busy.

Back to the main point- you can't stand on business because yu are nothing and have nothing to stand on. I'm not trying to degrade you- mind you- its just I kinda have no choice but to look down on you when you are on the floor. What am I even on rn?

Well. The first sign someone grew up middle class is lack of a spine and intense masking. The one thing the lower class and upper class have in common is the inability to give a fack. Lower class because they have nothing to lose & upper class because they are, in fact, better than you. In a capitalist society money is a marker of status = position don't even attempt moral police me. Elon Musk can say whatever bc wtf will you do? Tweet about it? The homeless will say whatever they want, too, because what will you do? Cancel him and make him lose the job he doesn't even have? What is the worst you can do and what makes you think he won't survive it. It's the middle class that's the breeding ground for snakes because they have a shit ton to lose and do not have enough resources to avoid the consequences of it. All the doormats and snakes and chameleons and wet tissues and untrustables are in the taxpaying bracket.

The first sign someone is elite is their level of idgafness. Not fur. Not that black American express. Not Patek Phillipe. IDGAFness. The princess and the pea absolute queen princess downright refusing to sleep on a bed with a pea is elitism. On tiktok they call it black cat energy. My way or no way. The way men know what to do with you isn't how much Chanel you're dripping in is how much you will not only not take bs but how willing you are to start sheet if you need to. Conflict avoidance is middle class behavior. I know this drop dead gorgeous reeeech man that's pining for the most average a little overweight by western standards (which are world's beauty standard, don't gaslight yourself) probably a solid 3 on a good day because the left him mid date after he said something she didn't like, blocked him on all platforms and went on another date with some other guy a week later. I have seen the women that chase after him but she's the prize. Doesn't give one single F. Last I heard he booked a helicopter and she just- didn't go. Tried the guilt tripping got blocked. Tried the talking sheet and she just- moved on and made him look like an idiot. When I say the man is piniiiiiiiiiiiing like there aren't magazine cover models that would throw it back in every angle. She is the elite one here because she just doesn't care. She stands on business. Queen behavior. 10/10, I'm also very in love with her and have officially joined the competition.

You can't be elite not because you're broke and ugly but because you can't stand on business because you don't have business to stand on. A lot of you just- aren't anyone so you become everyone. Chameleon behavior. Because you are afraid of conflict. A cat scratching you knowing full well you are what feeds it is elitism. Cookie Lyon (EMPIRE) is elitism. The I will burn this building down if i need to is elitism. And I don't mean randomly picking up fights 24/7 that's being ratchet, elite women are polite and well mannered. I mean standing on business. I mean sending the order back when it's not what you ordered. I mean just not paying your stylist when they don't do what you asked. I mean stating- clearly- where your boundaries are and not taking a single step back. I mean when a man tries isht with you downright calling them out on it loudly instead of trying to hash it down or laughing your way out of it. I mean not trying to buy approval by self sacrifice. I mean letting that one coworker know actually no I will not be doing that because it's your job not mine. I mean not answering any work related calls on your day off. I mean taking all your paid leaves. I mean shaming back the people that shame you as loudly as they are trying to shame you- probably more. I mean crossing every line the second one of yours is crossed. elitism. Standing on business. Boundaries. Whis is where you end and I begin, you cross this I cross you.

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

hiii i luv ur work^^ can i request a fic where carmy get sucked off so good it makes his brain short-circuit a little? like he came home all tired and pent up n reader just "blow" it all away. wanna see this man get taken care of🥺 he's alway got so much on his mind i just wanna see him fucked till his brain is empty

Short Circuit.

Carmy doesn’t know how to shut his brain off. Luckily, you do.

pairing - roommate!carmen berzatto x female reader

warnings - smut. cursing.

word count - 1.8k

authors note - carmy’s a little bitch in this one!! mwahahaha!! to my love who requested - i’m sorry I ended up making him a bit pathetic here, but in my defence… he does give off the energy of a wet cat, so. this set in the roommates universe, but the fics have no particular order <3

if you enjoyed, please reblog!! reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which in turn creates more. <3

masterlist. inbox. series masterlist.

“Sit the fuck down.”

Carmy blinks at you like a deer caught in headlights, confused and struggling to process.

“W-what?”

“You heard me, Carmen. Sit the fuck down before I shove you there myself.”

You gesture at the couch only a few feet away, crossing your arms over your chest expectantly.

He exhales shakily before placing his mug of coffee on the kitchen counter, walking over to do as you ordered.

He’s never really been bossed around by you before. Sure, you scold him occasionally, warn him when he does something wrong, but never like this. He can’t tell if he likes it. He thinks that maybe he does.

He gets comfy on the couch, sitting back against the cushions and spreading his legs. His white t shirt stretches deliciously across his broad shoulders, tight and worn. His old flannel pyjama pants look so cosy, you itch to reach out and run your hand across them.

Carmy’s watching you curiously, waiting for your next move. He can’t predict what’s going to happen, which would usually make him nervous. But right now, he’s got electricity buzzing through his veins, crackling and charged.

You set your own mug down and saunter over in his direction, as if you have all the time in the world. You stop at the window and shut the blinds, smirking over your shoulder when he raises his eyebrows in a silent question.

“Don’t want to give the neighbours a show.”

Carmy’s breath hitches in his chest, panting with anticipation. You crack your knuckles and stretch your arms above your head, suppressing a laugh when you see his eyes glued to the skin you expose between your t shirt and pyjama pants.

You stand in front of where he’s sat, patient and waiting. You look so tall, looking down on him, so completely powerful. He’s suddenly very confused by his own feelings.

“I’m sick of you bitching and moaning,” you begin, dropping to your knees on the patterned rug. “So I’m gonna make you shut the fuck up.”

Carmy suddenly sits up straight, full attention captured.

“What?”

“God, do you ever listen, Carmen?”

He’s silenced by your rebuttal, so you continue.

“You’re stressed to the max, and you don’t know how to leave work at work. You bring it home, complain for hours, and then wonder why you can’t relax. You need to shut your brain off.”

Carmy swallows harshly, eyes never leaving yours.

“And how am I supposed to do that?”

“You’re not. I’m gonna do it for you.”

With that, you rise up onto your knees so you’re face to face with your roommate.

“You okay with this?” you whisper, searching his features for any signs of trepidation.

“More than okay,” he breathes, leaning in to you. “Kiss me first? Please?”

You don’t think anyone would be able to resist him in this moment, when he looks and asks so pretty.

“Whatever you want, babe.”

You press your lips to his gently, testing the waters. Carmy instantly pulls you in with his arms around your back, deepening the kiss. You slip your tongue into his mouth and take control, nipping at his bottom lip when he gets too cocky.

“I’m in charge,” you tell him lowly. “If you wanna stop, say stop. But otherwise, I’m gonna keep going until you can’t remember your own name.”

Carmen’s eyes roll back at the promise, head hitting the sofa behind him as he groans. You settle back down between his legs, pulling his pyjama pants off and throwing them aside.

You trail open mouthed kisses up his thighs, starting at his knee and ending at his hip. Occasionally you bite down, soothing the sting with your tongue as you go. When he starts to fidget, you fully sink your teeth into his muscle, sharp and warning. He flinches, and you smirk.

“Patience, Carmen.”

“Don’t wanna be fuckin’ patient,” he grumbles under his breath, petulant as ever.

You look up at him firmly, and he gets the message.

Running your fingers up and down his thigh, you sit and enjoy the way goosebumps rise across his skin. You’re on a power trip, buzzing with the adrenaline of having a man like Carmy at your mercy.

“Good things come to those who wait,” you tease, before dancing your fingertips across the material of his boxers. His hips buck up into your hand and you relent, pulling his underwear down and off in one quick move.

He hisses as the cool air of the room hits his heated skin, the combination of sensations overwhelming.

You kiss along his hipbones, tasting salt and the musk that’s so Carmy. Nudging your nose into the juncture of his thigh, you chuckle when he shudders.

“Please, babe.”

“What do you want, Carm?”

“Just- just do something, please. Anything.”

Maybe it’s the rare show of manners, or maybe it’s his pleading tone, but you finally take pity on him. Grasping him in your hand, you give your wrist an experimental twist, biting your lip when he groans.

“Yeah,” he murmurs, all breathy and strained. He sounds so pretty like this, all loose limbed and pliable. “Shit, babe. Yeah.”

You take your time learning what he likes. Twisting, pulling, applying a little pressure. Carmy is writhing in his seat, completely unable to keep still. You keep pushing his hips back down firmly, putting him in his place.

He has his eyes screwed shut, head thrown back into the couch cushions, gorgeous neck exposed. You take him by surprise by wrapping your lips around him, sucking gently. His hand flies to your head, grasping for grip, for any kind of anchor.

You double down on your efforts, twisting your wrist as you hollow your cheeks. You rake the nails of your other hand down his thigh, squeezing occasionally to let him know you’re still good.

You feel his muscles go tense, knuckles gripping the cushion underneath him. He’s right on the edge - you can sense it.

So, you stop.

You pull away completely, laughing when his eyes shoot open, brows furrowed together.

“W-what? What the fuck? Why’d you stop?”

“Because I can.”

Carmy doesn’t even have the energy to come up with a sarcastic response. Instead, he sinks further into the couch, looking down at you with those big blue eyes.

“Babe.”

“So whiny. Jesus, Carmen, have some self respect.”

On any other day, he wouldn’t take that lying down. He’d sass you twice as hard, smirking when you roll your eyes. But today, he doesn’t have it in him.

“Please.”

“Oh you sound so pretty when you beg.”

He blushes, heat blooming up his chest and across his cheeks. He reaches out and traces your lips with his thumb, a tender gesture among all of the filth currently occurring.

“Do it more.”

He blinks at you, wondering if he heard you correctly.

“What?”

“Listen for once in your life, Berzatto. I said, do it more. Beg. Beg for it, and I’ll make you come.”

Carmy thinks he might have died and gone to heaven. He’s never seen this side of you before - in all honesty, you didn’t know it existed. He’s discovering a lot about himself tonight, and as confusing as it is, he’s loving it.

“Please, honey. Please.”

You click your tongue disapprovingly, shaking your head.

“Nuh uh. I want you to beg so hard that I am dripping, Carmen. Make it count.”

“You’re getting off on this,” he chuckles in disbelief. “Fuck, that’s so hot.”

You mime tapping an imaginary watch on your wrist, signalling him to hurry up. In reality, you’d kneel here on the rug all night if he wanted, content to watch him all high strung and flushed.

“Okay, okay. Sweetheart, please. Fuck, I need it. Need it so bad. Need you so bad. Just- give me anything, something, please.”

His voice has gone all breathy, shaky and unsure. He sounds like he’s on the verge of tears, and the mental image of him crying because of you turns you on more than it should.

“Oh baby,” you coo. “Was that so hard? Hmm?”

He shakes his head, bitten lip between his teeth.

“Gonna give you what you need now, because you were so good. My pretty, pretty boy.”

It might be your tone, or it might be because you called him your boy, but Carmy melts. He’s nothing but a puddle, mewling and panting, no coherent thoughts left in his brain.

You get back to work, hollowing your cheeks and working whatever you can’t fit in your mouth with your soft hands. You swirl your tongue, pressing it to the underside of him when you pull back slightly for air.

You wonder, for a second, if you’ve broken your roommate. Nonsense is leaving his lips in constant streams, babbling under his breath like he’s lost his mind.

“Yeah baby, keep going please, please don’t stop.”

“Fuck you’re so good, s’good, so good.”

“Just wanna come, please honey, I’ll do anything. Anything you want.”

“Ohhh, yesyesyes, oh fuck, thank you baby, shit.”

You keep humming in response, and the vibrations are Carmy’s undoing. His hips jolt upwards as his back arches off the couch, fingers scrambling for purchase. He hits the back of your throat and you groan, letting him ride it out however he needs. He relaxes back into his original position, body completely spent.

You squeeze his thigh to get his attention, making sure he watches as you swallow everything he’s given to you. He groans, low and tired, shaking his head with a smile on his face. You rest your head on his leg, looking up at him.

“You good, Carm?”

He nods, trying to gather the energy to answer you properly.

“Yeah,” he says after a while. “I genuinely think I’ve never been better.”

You laugh, and the sound makes him grin, all slow and saccharine.

“I can’t move. Think you’ve ruined me.”

“That was the plan,” you wink, standing up and pulling his boxers back up his legs.

You grab a bottle of water from the kitchen, watching as he downs it all in one go. Sitting next to him on the couch, he pulls you into his side, slotting you there perfectly.

“Thank you,” he whispers into the evening dusk of the room. “Not just for making me come harder than I ever have in my life. But, you know… for everything.”

You chuckle, intertwining your fingers with his.

“Of course. You’d do the same for me.”

“Next time you have a bad day, I’m gonna throw you on the couch and eat you out until you cry.”

You groan, pinching his thigh in warning.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

@enigmaticloki @kaelabear @idontexist-anymore @jazminsjaz @kingsqueensandvagabonds

[silcoitus]

i know many slutty fictional men in my life but Silco has got to be the top sluttiest slut, cunt-server, best of the best, top of the slut chain, i have ever seen. it's a lot to do with his fashion -and- personality.

it's the big boss energy, pathetic wet cat energy, sad bitch, doesn't waste his voice on unnecessary words, the cigar, head tilt, slow movement, little subtle smile, physically as strong as a stick bug so he hires other bigger people to do the heavy stuff, would show vulnerability when it comes to people he loves (like when he runs to jinx and hugs her on the bridge, showing how broken he is even in front of his big bodyguards), his chair and his window, cuffs thing, vest, what else? just 9.9/10 slutilicious. (the 0.1 short being him not in my arms rn)

Me reading this entire ask:

He is everything. He is the moment. He is that diva. But also a drowned rat. And a pathetic little mew mew. He's got range and we love him for it.

[ken-dom]

March Magic

Holland March x afab!reader

4k words

∘₊✧ Summary: Three times Holland March couldn't get it up, and one time he could.

∘₊✧ Authors’s notes: I've missed Holland, but upon a rewatch of The Nice Guys, he crashed my doors down and proceeded to experience erectile dysfunction in my living room so. Here you have it. Thank you to the wonderful K for beta reading and being the best as usual!! The warnings are pretty wild on this one so... strap in.

∘₊✧ Warnings/content: NSFW, erectile dysfunction, crying, passing out, smoking, oral sex, shotgun kissing (both the pussy and the mouth), mention of bee mating rituals/bee death, hand job, blow job, premature ejaculation, Holland having hyperspermia as usual, kind of established relationship, general wet cat pathetic energy

∘₊✧────────────────────���✧₊∘

‘Mmh- I uh- I’ll be right back,’ Holland mumbled against your kiss-swollen lips, ‘wait there- don’t move-’

His body clumsily moved off the bed until he was stood, stooped over you with lips still attached to yours until you dropped back onto the bed and finally freed him.

‘Don’t be too long, sexy,’ you winked at him as he slinked off toward his adjoining bathroom, and he huffed a faux coy laugh.

What the fuck did he need to go to the bathroom for at this late stage? Maybe it’s where he keeps the condoms, you thought, relaxing against his luxuriously soft pillows. Makes sense, he probably hasn’t used one for a while, what would be the use of keeping them by the bed?

Meanwhile, Holland let out a long, steadying exhale. You hadn’t noticed. Jesus. How he’d got this far without you trying to grope him and realising what was going on (or not going on), he’d no idea, but he’d managed to distract you long enough by pressing his thigh between your legs while kissing you sloppily and needily, and you seemed to drink it up, moaning into his mouth and writhing against him.

Hell, he could feel your heat through his trousers and wondered with a smirk whether he’d need to get this suit dry cleaned and make up an excuse about the mysterious wet patch just above the knee.

Your fingers in his hair were sending shivers down his spine, and heat was pooling in his lower belly, and you kept breathing his name, and it was all so incredibly fucking hot, but for reasons he didn’t want to acknowledge, his dick just wouldn’t respond.

He slipped into the bathroom and clicked the door shut behind him, collapsing against it and closing his eyes. He didn’t bother to switch on the light; he could feel the room spinning, he didn’t need to see it too.

His hand slid down over his flaccid cock, and for a moment, he thought, Pathetic, but then he tried to focus his thoughts back to you. Back to the way your body felt pressed against his, the way you uttered his name like a desperate, horny prayer, how good you’d feel when he finally managed to get it up and bury himself inside you.

He palmed himself over his trousers halfheartedly, knowing deep down it was a lost cause, and with his voice lower than a whisper, he uttered a shaky, ‘March, March, he’s our man! If he can’t do it, no one can. Maaaarch!’

Not even a twitch.

He slid down to the floor and sobbed, banging his head back against the door, and the darkened room turned suddenly darker.

Until the morning, when he found you asleep on the bed, clutching his pillow in lieu of the man himself.

****

‘Wanna taste you-’ Holland slurred against your throat. He wished he could smell you, smell the perfume he could taste, bitter against his tongue, but at least he could bury his face between your thighs and intoxicate himself in you that way.

There was also the small problem of his cock not playing ball again, despite tearing your clothes off, his hands exploring every inch of you, despite you telling him you needed him in that sultry, seductive voice that drove him wild.

He wasn’t going to leave you dissatisfied and alone again, no matter how far gone he was. Not this time. Come on, March.

He felt you nod, heard the desperation in your whine of agreement, and slipped lower, realising as he gripped your thighs to spread them apart that he still had an unlit cigarette propped between his fingers from when you’d kissed him while trying to light said cigarette. Who could blame you for getting distracted by those gorgeous, sparklingly sad eyes and pressing your lips to his instead?

‘Oh shit- give me a second-’ he mumbled, more to himself than to you, but as he moved to drop the cigarette, you grabbed and held his hands firmly against your thighs to stop him moving it away. When he looked up at you, questioning, you reached for the lighter on the nightstand and lit it for him.

‘Carry on,’ you smirked.

Holland swallowed hard. That was the hottest thing you’d ever done. Well, the second hottest, besides actually letting him eat you out whilst smoking, which was about to take first place.

‘Jesus…’

He took a long drag, partly a need, since he hadn’t smoked in a hot fifteen minutes, partly a show for you. He relished in the way you bit your lip as you watched his eyes sliding shut at the brief satisfaction at the nicotine hit. He exhaled slowly too, relishing in it as though it were giving him the pleasure he should be feeling from you.

Fuck. He shouldn't be focusing on that right now. He dragged a soft fingertip through your slick folds and felt you shudder. Taking another drag, he exhaled right at the moment he dove down to wrap his lips around your swollen clit, smoke spreading a tingling warmth around your exposed core.

Somewhere between lapping at your folds and devouring your clit, Holland realised he’d neglected his cigarette and the consequences could be… fuck, stop thinking- just-

Feeling your thighs clench around him, he half-reluctantly pulled back for another drag, and to flick some loose ash into the ashtray by the bed, and you whined in protest, already so close you could feel your bundle of nerves throbbing in the absence of his tongue. Holland sure worked fast, but he was easily distracted, too, and you couldn’t even blame him for this since this was technically your idea.

This time, as he exhaled, his tongue dipped inside, the smoke hot against your cooling slick as it swirled back out of your entrance and up around your folds, and, admiring the combination for moment, Holland licked a stripe right up to your clit to start right back where he’d left off.

He carefully slid a finger inside this time, too, surprisingly delicate in his movements as he beckoned, stroking that spot inside you that made your toes curl so precisely as his mouth took care of the rest.

Jesus, he sure knows his way around down there- 

‘Fuck- f-fuck- Holland-!’

Your climax was so close you could practically taste it, and so could he, but there was the small complication of his cigarette still burning by your thigh.

Hips rolling to rut against his tongue as he lapped eagerly, fingerfucking you with enthusiastic vigour, your back arched off the bed and your fingers found their way into his messy sun-kissed hair, and just as your breath turned ragged, he pulled away again for another nicotine hit.

Not only did he leave you exposed to the cold air without his mouth covering you, but his finger apparently couldn’t continue to fuck into you while he was focussing on the cigarette, either. He’d never been great at multitasking and obviously the Camel was just too delicious to try. Fucking hell.

‘Tease,’ you groaned weakly, and Holland, sobering slightly (only very slightly, and very, very briefly) finally realised what this was doing to you and shoved the end of the cigarette into the ashtray, diving back down to finish the job properly, almost choking on the combination of smoke and pussy in the process. God, it tasted incredible together and he was so into it that it took no time at all for you to get that simmering feeling right back.

He felt your orgasm approach, and then shake through your body, felt you turn limp after the high subsided, and carried on for a while, softer and slower, until your thighs were clamping around his head again with oversensitivity and he ate you like a man possessed once again.

Just as your second orgasm approached, Holland seemed to slow, so you jerked your hips to spur him on, but suddenly he felt heavier too, and when you called his name in frustration, he didn’t answer.

You guessed he’d finally passed out, and propped yourself up on your elbows. You inadvertently slid your folds over his handsome nose as you manoeuvred, gasping at the sensation which, although subtle, tipped you over the edge. Your breath caught and your blood boiled and every fibre of you trembled with pleasure you hadn’t expected. 

His finger, although still, was still firmly thrust inside you and your walls clenched hard around it as you slapped a hand over your mouth to keep from yelling out and waking him.

Jesus… I’m gonna have to ride that nose for real, you mused when your thoughts turned coherent again, and then you began the process of sliding out from beneath him and dragging his messy, half-dressed form further up the bed and onto his pillow for some rest.

You cleaned yourself up before sinking into bed beside him to sleep, but you left his moustache soaked with your essence. You knew it would drive him wild in the morning, and maybe it would be the push he needed to finally chase his own pleasure.

****

It wasn’t.

He woke to you suckling at his neck, your arm thrown around his waist from behind, fingers toying with the waistband of his trousers.

His head was pounding when he woke, and with just one eye half open, he turned into you, a big dumb smile pulling at his lips.

His lips felt dry so without even thinking he licked them, tasting you immediately and groaning.

‘You taste incredible, you know that?’ he croaked, your fingers now working on the button of his fly.

Holland had absolutely no recollection of how last night ended. He could taste you, sure, but he barely remembered how he’d ended up in bed with you this time. He was a detective after all, though, and what kind of lousy detective would wake up with their lover wrapped around them, fingers teasing at their belly, their taste fresh on his lips, and not put together that he must have spent some time downtown? 

And you did taste delicious. Fuck, he really wished he could smell you.

He wanted you. He needed you. Since the moment you’d laid eyes on one another. And right now, he was so thankful to wake up with you already trying to satisfy him despite what a mess he probably looked. And yet, as usual, he couldn’t perform. 

‘Wait-’ he breathed, hand flying down to wrap around your wrist and gently ease you out of his trousers before you actually felt how soft he was.

‘What’s wrong, baby?’

Holland’s eyes snapped shut, his hand dropping yours to press his fingers into his eyelids instead.

He knew this would be it. 

‘I- I can’t-’ he tried, gesturing vaguely to his cock. ‘It’s not your fault. I just- I can’t-’

He cut himself off with a dramatic, choked out sob, and scrambled for a cigarette on the nightstand. There was only an empty packet and he dropped himself back onto the bed, whimpering, shoulders shaking as tears began to roll down his cheeks.

‘Fuck! I’m pathetic, I’m-’

He felt the mattress bounce as you moved away and whimpered, knowing he’d likely never see you again.

He did, though. A split second later when you sat cross legged beside him and popped a cigarette between his lips, offering a light, which he gratefully accepted.

The first inhale relaxed him more than he could comprehend, and he shuffled up to sit against the headboard, trying to steady his breathing.

‘Thank you,’ he said huskily. He meant it as gratitude for not leaving, but you handing him a cigarette masked thay enough for him not to feel more pathetic than he already did.

You placed a hand on his thigh. It wasn’t suggestive of anything other than comfort, and he appreciated that.

‘Take your time, ok?’

His brow furrowed, but he nodded anyway. Why would you wait for him?

‘Besides, when you eat me out like that, I’m hardly in a rush,’ you smiled, playfully.

Holland managed a small smile at that too.

‘That’s the March Magic,’ he muttered.

‘Oh, so that’s what you call it?’

‘Call what?’

‘Shotgun kissing my-’ you pointed between your legs.

‘I did what?!’

‘You don’t remember? Jesus. It was good, anyway. You’re good, March. And I’m sure when you’re ready, your cock will be just as delicious.’ 

He turned weak at your choice of words, turning temporarily dizzy as you absentmindedly licked your lips.

‘Wanna kiss me? Just kissing. Nothing else this time, ok?’

He whined and nodded again, leaning forward to enjoy the most tender kiss he could remember since- well. For a while.

You could taste yourself on him, but not for long as your mouth filled with his second hand smoke and you choked a little. You kept your lips pressed to his, though, tongues sliding together sweetly, with no expectations beyond this simple affection.

You felt your own cheeks grow damp and knew he was crying again. But you didn’t stop. He needed this, you realised, and you were more than willing to give him whatever he needed right now.

‘March,’ you whispered when you eventually pulled back for breath.

‘Mmh?’

‘How about you get yourself cleaned up while I run out to grab us some lunch? I can run you a bath?’

‘Yeah,’ he sighed, shaking his head in disbelief. ‘Yeah that would be really fucking good actually.’

****

‘That one’s a keeper.’

‘Huh?’ March was trying to get to sleep, but his mind was whirring with thoughts of how you’d cared for him today.

How you’d washed his hair after he sunk into the warm water, covered by bubbles, laid him some fresh clothes out for him, shared a nice lunch together, and spent the afternoon watching a movie and laughing and kissing. 

He hadn’t thought about his little problem all night, and you were to thank for that. 

He was pretty sure he was falling in love actually, and his thoughts were so occupied with the joy and despair that came along with that old, familiar feeling reigniting inside him, that he couldn’t fall asleep. The fact that he’d barely drank a thing today probably contributed to that too.

Maybe he should-

‘Don’t even think about it.’

That voice again. Who the fuck-

Holland turned, frowning to find his old pal, Bumble wedged right between you and him, hogging the covers.

‘Bumble. What do you want?’

Bumble took a long drag of his cigarette. 

‘Listen, I’m telling you — that one’s a keeper.’

‘Yeah, that’s what I’ve been stuck on. You really think so?’

‘You can’t even fuck and you’ve got room service and cigarettes being lit for you and kisses on tap. Yeah I think so.’

‘That’s not why I lov- I mean-’

Bumble chuckled. Holland frowned.

‘You worked the March Magic, huh?’

‘How do you know about- what? No. I mean. I- yeah but that’s not-’

‘Look, March, when killer bees fuck, the bee with the dick usually dies. You get to cum and live to tell the tale! You’ll be fine. You just gotta relax.’

Holland felt hazy. This was almost too much information to take in. But he remembered the relaxing part. ‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah. Just take it easy. Your dick’ll be hard in no time. Night.’ 

‘Night, Bumble. Thanks for the pep talk.’

Holland yawned, and Bumble was gone.

****

Holland shifted in the warmth of the morning light. Something was off.

He stretched his legs and rolled onto his back to look at you, see if you were awake yet, see if he could figure out why he felt kind of… weird.

You were sleeping soundly beside him, your arm still draped over his middle beneath the sheets. Nothing unusual there, over the last couple of months you’d come to stay over with him more nights than not when he wasn’t working a case, and even then he’d sometimes find you in his bed when he returned home, and thanks to this he’d actually slept in his bed instead of finding a spot somewhere he felt safe. You’d made bed safe. You’d made him feel safe.

He smiled at the thought, and tried to shift his focus onto this feeling he was trying to place. It must be early – he’d not woken up before 10am for as long as he could remember and the clock on the dresser said 08:07.

He propped himself up to take a look around the room and actually screamed when he saw the huge tent formed in the sheets between his legs.

Jaw dropping, Holland fell back onto his pillow, muttering wildly, ‘Am I dreaming? Jesus, am I actually hard? Is this real?!’ 

He poised his thumb and forefinger over his other forearm and laughed, loudly and heartily, pinching his arm so hard he hurt himself and let out a little yelp mid giggle. It was real! He was awake, and he was hard.

Head spinning, Holland called your name in an excited whisper at first, turning himself to lay face to face with you and careful not to accidentally prod you with his raging hard on. What a nice problem to have to worry about! He let out a little, ‘Ha!’ at the thought.

He called your name again, louder this time, gently gripping your shoulder in sheer excitement. He hadn’t even considered yet that you’d want to actually do anything with his boner. He was just so thrilled that his dick still worked, he wanted to share it with the whole world. There was even a fleeting moment that he considered calling Healy, but he shook the thought from his head and tried to focus.

When your eyes blinked open, although taken aback that he was awake before you, you automatically smiled at his gleeful face and leant forward to kiss him, but in the buzz of excitement, he completely missed his cue and rolled away to demonstrate the tent in the sheets once again.

‘Look! It works! Ha! It really works!’

‘Jesus…’ you breathed, propping yourself up to get a good look at the size of him. ‘Holland… that’s so great, baby, I knew you could do it!’

‘It’s all thanks to Bumble!’ he smiled like an idiot. You didn’t ask.

Giddy, you sang out his little mantra; ‘March, March, he’s our man! If he can’t do it no one can! Maaaarch-mmh!’

His lips joined with yours then, cutting you off until he pulled back to get another look at the magnificent sight of his dick in full working order.

‘Holland…’ you started, and he hummed in your direction. ‘May I… touch you?’

All of the breath seemed to exit his body like a juice box being crushed underfoot. He wheezed out a, ‘Yes- please!’ followed by a slightly more coherent, ‘Touch- lick- anything. Go nuts!’

You slipped your hand back to his stomach, gradually pushing lower until you reached the waistband of his pyjamas (another new development; he wasn’t sleeping in his suits nearly as much these days).

‘Holland, are you sure you’re ready?’

‘I’ve been ready for months,’ he sighed, ‘it’s just a shame my schwanz has taken this long to catch up. Listen, I-’

‘It’s alright,’ you stopped him, feeling his body tense up, knowing where his thoughts were going. ‘I know it might be… quick. I don’t mind. Actually it’s kind of hot…’

Holland relaxed. Jesus, why did you have to be so understanding – and in such a sexy way? It was jarring. It felt nice. It made him fall for you all the more, and knew then that Bumble had been right about you. Holland had no intention of losing you.

Your fingers ghosted over his tip, and your palm slid down to feel out the length of him before you wrapped your fingers carefully around the base and pumped slowly. You planned to learn his body like he was learning yours, to memorise every response your touch elicited, know every trick in the book to drive him wild.

You glanced up from the hypnotising view of your hand stroking him beneath the sheets to see his face already slack with pleasure, mouth agape and eyes shut in bliss. Jesus, he was receptive. Delicious.

You moved your hand up to swipe your thumb over the tip, and discovered that not only did it cause his hips to buck, but there was already a thick bead of precum waiting for you there. 

He was moaning almost nonstop at this point. Your fist moved faster and Holland began to writhe. Actually writhe beneath you – legs trembling, toes curling, didn’t have a clue what to do with his limbs, or his hands; other than try and grasp at the bedding.

‘Jesus! F-fuck! Oh!’ he cried, loud and desperate, and you were so tempted to bring him off like this, to pump him furiously until he stained the sheets, but equally you craved more.

You wouldn’t ever say this to him, but the thought wouldn’t leave you alone; what if he couldn’t get it up again for a good couple of months and you’d passed up the chance to taste him when it was given so beautifully to you? No. You had to grasp this opportunity with both hands. Or, as the case may be, with one hand and your mouth.

Keeping your movements steady, you shuffled down, pushing the covers lower, too, and got your first proper look at his hard cock. It was quite the sight; as long and thick as it felt, handsome, steadily leaking – fit to burst actually. 

You wasted no more time, carefully kissing his tip first, slowing your hand a little to test the waters without overwhelming him, and he whimpered so prettily you almost lost composure.

As your lips wrapped around his tip and you sank down lower, sucking, swirling your tongue, keeping your hand pumping fast where he wouldn’t fit, you suddenly felt bitter heat coating your tongue.

Not just coating your tongue, filling your mouth. You did your best to keep going, to suck and lap and massage him through his peak, but it wasn’t just his drawn out screech of pleasure that was distracting you, it was the amount of cum he was still spilling all the while. Despite swallowing down what you could of the never ending hot rope, choking a little on the sheer volume, it still dribbled out past your lips, dripping onto his legs and stomach and the surrounding sheets that he was balling into tight fists.

When you emerged from the mess to crawl up over him and check he was doing ok, you were faced with the most blissed out, fucked out, sated, dumb smile you’d ever seen on his handsome face. He’s never looked more peaceful, and, as much as your core was throbbing after what you’d just done, you wanted more than anything to let him rest.

So you did. You settled on his chest, not caring about the stickiness drying between your flush bodies or around your lips, and listened to his heart, steady in his chest.

‘Fuck,’ he whispered after a long pause. ‘That was- fuck…’

You smiled to yourself, sure that after so long, anything he could get would have felt incredible, but you still took a little pride in the fact that you were the one to experience it with him.

‘You want me to make breakfast?’ you offered gently.

‘I want you to be my breakfast, does that count?’ he smirked.

‘No, Holland, I just want you to enjoy the moment. Don’t worry about me.’

‘Oh, I’m not worried.’

Holland shifted beneath you and you felt the beginnings of another erection stiffening his cock.

Your eyes widened as his opened, and your gazes locked.

‘You fixed it.’

‘Holland, please,’ you laughed. ‘I did not fix your dick.’

‘Of course you did, it’s the only explanation! Anyway, look, do you want to fix its current problem?’ His hips thrust upwards to nudge his now rock hard cock against your thigh to make sure you felt it.

‘Holland, if you’re not fucking me the March way within the next minute, I’m out of here.’

He laughed again and it occurred to you that you’d never spoken to him this early, or heard him laugh so much in a morning.

‘The March way?’ he raised an amused eyebrow at you.

‘Yeah.’

‘What’s that?’

‘I’m hoping you’re about to show me.’

And show you, he most certainly did.

[lotusarchon]

I've been thinking a lot about this but what about MK and a s/o who is a spider demon? Perhaps directly related to the Spider Queen? How would that work out and how would they even get together? IMSORRYITMIGHTBEDIFFICULTORIMPOSSIBLEBUTTHETHOUGHTHASNTLEFTMYHEADAAAAA

Okay, this didn't end up being more fic-ly like my other fics, forgive me Nonnie, but the moment I saw it I just went, "Hey, wait a minute, how would this work?" And now I'm here hahaha. This got a bit into the analysis side, so uhhhh, yeah sorry 😭😭 I just reallyyyy like doing these kinds of things gah

🤔 I'm not sure if a relationship with him would work immediately if he's aware you're a spider demon on first meeting. Not to say that isn't impossible―MK the Monkie Kid will love anything if it feeds him. I know, I fed him and he loves me (this is a joke for legal reasons). It's just that his paranoia/fear of spiders overshadows any logic or reason, so a first meeting is him fleeing for his life. If you have an appearance like the Spider Queen he's just running around shrieking while you stand there watching him. If it's not as spidery he might give you a chance. Might, who knows if he doesn't freak out and faint again.

Of course though, as always I think it really just depends on the situation. If in the instance you're not a villain and you genuinely wish to help, then as scared as MK will be, he is NOT going to hate you, not MK. Have you seen how he pleaded with Spider Queen coming to the finale of S2, warning her about LBD?? He's not some heartless prick much less judgemental―he knows if you really want to change and do good, you're someone to change. Yeah, he'll be a bit scared still especially if you have more spider traits, but I genuinely think he'll warm up to you bit by bit till, and if you spend enough time with him, he forgets you're a spider demon. You're a friend now.

Like I said, it really does genuinely depend on the scenarios. Don't anticipate love at first sight―not unless you find MK fainting and his pathetic wet cat energy attractive 😭.

I think it could work out though, with a relationship. MK's not some judgemental prick. I know a lot of people might think, "Oh, but he's afraid of spiders!" but that doesn't overshadow his kindness. He would genuinely fall in love with you regardless of what you looked like, so long as you have a good heart. Hell, I don't think you even need to be a good guy. If MK runs into you enough times and you show the single ounce of kindness, if not to him then to someone else, he really thinks you'll be capable of change. If you're lucky, he would even tell you that he doesn't find Spider Queen so bad if she'd just stop trying to make everyone spider zombies.

Bringing us to the other scenario: being directly related to the Spider Queen. Honestly I think that matters little to him at this point with the points I mentioned above. I think the one difference if he finds out you're directly, directly related to Spider Queen is to faint on the spot and consider how the fuck he's gonna get her to not kill him :<

These are just if he's aware from the beginning you're a spider demon. If per chance you wear a glamor and befriend him and he finds out you're really a spider demon, much less some relative to Spider Queen, I can imagine different scenarios going down:

1) Were you pretending to be his friend to hurt him for your family? If so, expect him to be heartbroken as fuck. It'll take a while for you to regain his trust but if you do mean it, he'll forgive you. Just don't do it again.

2) Accidental? Oh, okay. That's cool. Do you plan on eating him? No? Okay....so what are you doing standing all the way there?? Get back here, he needs to snuggle and he can't snuggle when your ass is all the way there. Huh? Yeah yeah, it's creepy but you're not so bad. It's cute. Just don't eat him. Please.

A relationship with him though isn't impossible. Regardless of the scenario, everything falls under 2 things;

1) Are you capable of showing empathy and kindness?

2) Do you truly feel the same way about him?

If the answer to both of these are yes, then yes, regardless if you're a spider demon, a relationship is possible. Looks really don't matter to someone like MK. Hell, not even your shitty personality.

The only problems you'd have with MK when a relationship works out with him is Spider Queen because I know damn well she's gonna terrorize MK so bad.

"I'm gonna make you swallow spiders in your sleep try any shit with me boy, see if I'm playing 👁️👁️."

"Y-yes Ma'am, I'm sorry Ma'am. Please don't kill me Ma'am."

Overprotective mother Spider Queen my beloved 🫶

Edit: A lot of people will argue; "MK's scared of spiders, why would he date one?"

1) Spiders. Not spider DEMONS who have sentience and can act, speak and think like a human being, and looks human-ish too. He can give them a chance.

2) MK's not some heartless bastard. To the finale of S2, he genuinely tries to plead with Spider Queen about LBD. If he didn't care, he wouldn't have bothered reasoning with her. Spider Queen might've had a change of heart a tad bit too late but you can see that MK's words really did have some affect on her for to willingly risk herself FOR the kid she's trying to kill. She could've damn well fled for her life and left MK there, and MK could've simply fled and not said shit. I really can't see MK being a judgemental ass, I really can't. It just wouldn't be in his character, especially if it's before the events of s4/5.

Notes: I love doing analysis of shit like this, it's super fun, but to certain koala-brains, please understand this isn't me thinking I know everything. This seriously is just my opinion + how I IMAGINE LMK MK would react and be towards an s/o who's a spider demon. My word isn't law, and I understand there are others who will think differently. This is just how I interpreted MK based on the countless times I've watched the show. If you believe MK would act differently, good for you.

[ennn]

Initial Agatha All Along Ep 6 Meta Thoughts + Reactions

You good? I think I'm actually pretty good with what we got.

One of the struggles I've had so far with Billy is that Joe Locke always seemed more likeable than Teen but this episode convinced me that was because the boy wasn't being really himself.

Look I honestly usually don't give a shit about kid or teenager characters but this boy is winning me over. Dammit, show.

That "interrogation" scene was IN-credible and props to Joe Locke for holding it together for as long as he could. He still almost very nearly broke but who can blame him honestly.

Actually looking forward to the real Billy and Agatha bonding. Because they're both dumbass bitches. Both of them falling off things and failing at running? AMAZING.

I'm absolutely avoiding Twitter because I know some folks will be mad Billy got his boyfriend kiss but guys GUYS the odds of a kiss between Agatha and Rio happening later just got legitimately good

Will be genuinely upset if Kathryn Hahn does not get an Emmy for all of the work and talent she's showing off here, she's so full-throated in her performance and Agatha is such a captivating, complicated character

I mean, Agatha's being like a literal sad wet cat here but she's such a survivor and a performer. She will muscle her way through her trauma with the strength of her charisma and deal with it later thank you very much. She's so damn funny (and so sad if you stop and think about it)

Amazing consistent characterisation with Agatha being absolutely fascinated with powerful witchcraft and knowing her stuff. The energy she brings here is so similar to how she got studying Wanda's magic. The Detective Agnes character really isn't that far off from who she is. She's a nerd! She loves investigating. She's got big professor energy.

Crap, this show is making me want to rewatch Wandavision. Because people have told me that she always had a soft spot for Billy and Billy liked her and ugh damn this cross-marketing is working.

But like Agatha being honestly proud of him surviving, Agatha who's done terrible things to survive, knowing how witches have survived in a world that's not been kind to them. Agatha who's telling him that it's okay he did the things he did, because she's been telling those things to herself.

I was right! Rio was absolutely not physically there in person for those episode 1 house scenes given that the mirror was a painting. Among other things, it would have been weird for her to have gone into the house and then returned to blow up that door.

"You and your mother have a tell." "Which is?" "Convenient for me." -> Absolute zinger of a line. I love love love how Agatha, for all her pathetic loser energy, is being shown as smart and cunning. She always suspected! She knows things!

Also i think we've established by now that, in this show and universe at least, that witches are all some level of awful and can and will fuck up people's lives (intentionally or not).

This episode was designed to be kind of a tonal palette cleanser after all the angst and drama of Ep 5 and it worked, I think!

[bunnywan]

thank god we are having the anakin-isn't-hot discussion because the strongest part of hayden's portrayal wasn't his creepiness (which still hit critical levels in aotc) but his incel energy. the way he says "iT'S noT fAiR" when complaining about his hot capable beautiful enchanting master rings in my head 24/7 all day every day. people take the best part of film anakin and completelyy ignore it smh.

anyways that's why i rarely enjoy reading fics with anakin unless they're just pwp because it rarely hits the balance of anakin-is-extremely-powerful and anakin-is-a-pathetic-loser-actually. the power part is necessary because otherwise people tend to act like he's a innocent little meow meow boy who can do no wrong but pleasee do not make him a badass, he got whipped by his master immediately after turning into a sith and unlocking the full dark spectrum of his chosen one powers, let's be fr. AND he lost doing the exact same thing obi-wan did to maul (flipping up over someone who has the high ground), they rubbed in the patheticness.

hes so annoying and so gross lmao. most heat ive ever gotten on this blog was for saying anakin is not babygirl to me hes not a wet cat hes not meow meow, and the people who treat him like that defang him so severely hes a whole new character (for them to project onto lol).

i think anakin does have the capacity to be sweet, but its very difficult to access, especially from obi-wans pov, so i agree that fics have a hard time capturing his weird ass duality. hes a total loser, but he's the most powerful guy in the room. he seems to be vaguely aware of both of these things, but not to their full extent. anakin (real anakin not dave filoni anakin) doesn't seem to revel in being a "badass", and making him like that is weird to me. he does technically badass things to complete his missions, but then he's immediately turning to obi-wan with big wet eyes like did i do good master ?? pls tell me i did good. oh you're not gonna tell me im good ? ok go fuck yourself btw you're sooooo jealous of me.

anyway you're so right. hes a loser and most importantly: hes not hot <3

[ochrearia]

Cozy Solitude (Yet Not So Alone)

Eventually I will be able to write something for every BF in the RGBFverse and then I will finally stop feeling guilty for not being able to write everyone. Today isn't that day sadly. And there is, of course, something to be said in this. A little bit of truth of how YS acts or talks that isn't really him, but me instead. Eggshells or whatever

BFs in this one-shot: Biff (PoPr!BF, mine), Peacock (sfa!BF, Shed's), Bee (S2!BF, Isaac's), Yourself (YS)

Maybe the crisp bite of the cold wasn’t too bad in some situations. It wasn’t like YS was ever going to seek out being cold while in his right mind- (And he does have to specify that because he’s forced himself to be cold before when his mental state was way off a deep end.) But there were some upsides, despite them being things that he could literally just ask for if he had the balls. Which he normally didn’t so who’s fault was that really? His, it was his. There was some fucked up joke to be made here that he ripped something else off along with his wings that day.

He wasn’t going to be making that joke.

But it was fine. In the absence of his wings now he had brothers. And after the stupid shit he pulled last night there was, of course, no future where YS would get away with it every day. Because there were too many brothers and only one of him. He was bound to be caught and victimized sooner or later. It was just ironic that it happened to be the evening right after his night of numerous failed warmies attempts.

Three of them were here. And, honestly, not quite the three he’d first expect. Biff, of course, because it was basically impossible for YS to avoid that fucker when they’d grown so close so fast. And since they were around each other the longest, the connection they had was also strongest. He had to wonder if Biff maybe felt the sting of being hopelessly cold in his dreams last night. He hoped not.

The other two, though, weren’t YS’s first assumptions, but he was in no way complaining. Peacock was here, and Bee was here. And of course they were always welcome. Everyone was welcome. YS just didn’t have the courage to ever ask for it first. He felt guilty that he essentially had to hope and pray that they would figure it out first so he didn’t have to try and fail to do it on his end, because he would sooner tear his heart right out of his damn chest and crush it so it would stop aching so damn much out of sheer fear. Over asking.

“Does overthinking help with the warmth thing too or are you just being a dumbass?” Biff snarked.

Shithead.

Normally cuddle piles would be observed as such on his shitty living room couch with equally shitty cable TV running as background noise for them all to immediately ignore in favor of each other’s attention. But today was tiring, because YS hadn’t really slept the night before due to the cold. Cyber’s gift only helped for a few minutes at a time. It was too small for him to use as a reliable heat source, and while he could’ve probably used his shapeshifting to shrink for less surface area, he’d been shivering too much last night to even focus long enough on the idea of using his magic. So he hadn’t.

“I am actually just never allowed to have a conscious thought anymore, according to Biff.” YS bemoaned, though he was joking. “Fuck you, YS. Don’t think. Don’t breathe either, while you’re at it, dumbass.”

“That is LITERALLY not what I said.”

“Keep fighting, it’s very entertaining.” Peacock cut in to joke. “Got that brotherly arguing enrichment while I try and fail to fall asleep here.”

“You’re failing to fall asleep?” Bee mumbled from his spot. “I can barely fucking stay awake over here…”

Right. They weren’t on the couch this time because YS hadn’t the energy to even move to the other room. He’d been found like a pathetic wet cat, curled up in his bed shivering and whining about it being cold. And none of them dared to move him, so they were piled on top of each other on his bed. YS, of course, on the bottom. The other three just found any spot they could that also doubled as either lying on top of him, or right next to him. Surrounding his body with warmth that he desperately wished he could just make on his damn own.

“Overthinking does not, in fact, help the warmth thing, and also fuck you because that wasn’t what I was doing.” YS continued with a sniff. “God fucking forbid I have a thought longer than two seconds about a thing I could have done at some point in my past. That’s not overthinking, that’s just hindsight.”

“That is basically the same thing when it comes to you.” Biff batted back, shoving his face closer into YS’s side. “You think, and you think, about everything, literally every second of your living life if you could. And I think you do. Thinking about it all, because what if it was done wrong, or what if you made the wrong choice, what if something you said could’ve been worded better, a better choice, a better action. You are always thinking, man. And it’s some sort of godly miracle that you manage to keep those emotional walls up all the damn time while doing it. I think I would blow up.”

“I didn’t ask for a therapy session.” YS grumbled, looping his arm tighter around Biff. “I’m cold and my thoughts are slow as hell anyway. I didn’t sleep and I spent so much energy shivering because my stupid shit body doesn’t like to make heat. There is something fundamentally wrong with me.”

YS was fibbing about the heat thing. Only because he hadn’t told Bee yet about what he was, and today was not going to be the day for it. He was too tired and too grouchy.

“You still could’ve called one of us, man.” Peacock insisted. The fellow angel had taken residence sprawled over top YS, head laid gently on top of his chest. “There’s about… uh… too many of us now. Chances are one of us would’ve been awake. Chances are all of us would’ve been willing to help you.”

“All of you wouldn’t.” YS shrugged. “And I’m not saying that to be a dick. I am nowhere near close enough to some of the others compared to you three. And I’m very sure there’s actually still a few of us that actively dislike me. One I am certain of.  Few I might just be, I don’t know, assuming, but it’s hard for me to believe that I’m on good terms with that handful when my attempts so far have been disastrous blunders that ended up pushing them away in the moment. Because I’m stupid.”

There were a few scenarios in particular he was thinking about. Though he didn’t really want to even have them in mind. Thinking about them made YS sad. If he couldn’t get it all right on the first attempt then what was even the point? It was so much easier to fuck it all up than to rebuild it. He certainly wouldn’t have the energy to be perfect until it started warming up outside, and that was going to take months. But if he also didn’t even try, then what sort of impression was that going to leave on those he was walking on actual eggshells with?

He had to be the one to fix everything, didn’t he?

“You’re not stupid.” Bee frowned. Bee had taken the spot on YS’s other side. They really were all working together to surround him with warmth on every possible side. “I get the whole assumption thing, though. It’s like… having no object permanence, I think. Unless it’s with someone you have had long enough to learn you’re okay with, you’re always assuming you’re on thin ice with them?”

YS blanched. “I… yeah. I guess that’s a good way to put it. Everyone after Blue, I guess, I’m just… I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve done enough yet to earn feeling secure around them.”

“Understandable.” Biff said gently. “Though, hey, there was a time where that cutoff was even shorter. Shit, the cutoff used to be just me, didn’t it? And now it’s at Blue, at least, so you’re working on it. It takes time, man. Things change and shit.”

“I’m glad I’m inside the threshold for certain at least.” Peacock said with a grin. “Means I don’t have to necessarily worry about annoying you by showing up. Or saying some stupid shit, because let’s be real, we all do that. It’s nice to know where I stand with you, is what I’m saying. And you should know where you stand with me just by how willing I am to keep you trapped here and be physically affectionate. I don’t care about much. But the things I do care about get as much dedication as I could possibly give. You can figure out where you fall.”

YS let out a chuckle. “Yeah, okay, I got the memo. Thank you. I suppose the only people so far I feel like I don’t actively need to seek reassurance from anymore are Biff, Beef, and Boyf, though I’m not gonna complain about it if they want to repeat it. With you two, Beefer, and Blue, I think I still need to hear it confirmed from time to time. But maybe it will be different soon.”

YS paused, thinking before continuing.

“Cyber is. A special case. I know he cares about me by the way he acts when I’m around. He’s not done anything wrong. I might just have some unresolved thoughts about him in terms of, well, fuck, he doesn’t deserve any of the shit he’s been put through. And I just… I don’t know. I found him way earlier in his timeline than the rest of you. Maybe if I had just been a little bit earlier…”

“You probably shouldn’t tear yourself apart over what-ifs, YS.” Bee cut in. “You’re not like, this all-seeing, all-powerful savior that is in charge of us all. Sometimes shit happens. Bad timelines exist. I mean… Look what happened to you. You didn’t deserve any of it either.”

Biff and Peacock exchanged a look about the ‘savior in charge of them all’ comment. Bee was right, YS wasn’t, but it was a little ironic with what they knew about him. Biff wanted his big brother to be more honest about who he was, but he couldn’t force it. He’d told a few others. That was a start.

“Cyber did nothing wrong.” YS repeated. “But that’s the reason why I say my cutoff is at Blue. I know the eggshells I have around Cyber are just my own guilt that I couldn’t have prevented it. I wish I could’ve protected him better. And I can’t fully help him even now when I want to, so badly.”

“You’re already doing more than enough.” Biff stressed, hoping his point would get across. “There’s so many of us now, dude, there’s no way you can keep the exact same energy up with everyone. It takes time, and it takes effort. You’ve been over-exerting your effort for months. When will you just slow down and give yourself the rest you need?”

“He’s doing it now.” Peacock decided firmly. “Today. Right now. You are going to stop overthinking all this shit, stop worrying, do nothing. Just exist here, with us, while we take care of you and chase your cold away. And you’re also going to try to nap. That’s also very important, since you said you didn’t get to sleep.”

“Shit, since when were you this damn bossy?” YS snarked lightly.

“Since my big brother doesn’t do enough to take care of himself when all of his energy’s spread out across everyone else. You can stop doing that for one day. The world will not explode.”

Well, guess Peacock had a point. But also…

“You’re telling a chronic worrier to stop worrying.”

“Holy shit you know what I meant.”

Sure, fine. The overthinking did nothing to help with the warmth problem. All it did was make YS more stressed out than he already was. And of course, there was no real way that he was going to just be able to stop worrying. There was always going to be something on his mind related to his standings in his social relationships. The varying degrees of closeness he had with some of his brothers compared to others made him nervous. Would they think he was favoring some? Or think he just didn’t care about them? But then again, maybe they didn’t want to be close to him in the first place. None of them had ever asked for him to appear in their lives…

“Overthinking face.” Biff teased, snapping YS out of the thought train. “Tell your brain to shut up for like, twenty minutes. Only twenty minutes if you really can’t handle all day. Or, well, the rest of the day.”

The sky outside YS’s bedroom window was turning dusty- fading signs of the sun as it started to disappear below the horizon. It was going to only get colder from here. The angel sighed quietly, squeezing his arms around Bee and Biff again, and gently pushing his nose against the top of Peacock’s head. Maybe if he was lucky, he could get even one of them to stay overnight. But he couldn’t ask that, of course. They’d have to just volunteer, if they really wanted to. He’d prefer them all stay, but that was even more of a thing he couldn’t ask for.

His brothers were content with him, at least. For now, things were okay. They’d all tapered off into a comfortable silence, because they wanted him to try and get some sleep. Bee would probably join YS almost immediately assuming he could actually doze off. Biff and Peacock seemed more determined to outlast him to make sure he actually did fall asleep, which honestly, did something for his brain. Just an unspoken showing of care. Keeping him to a standard of which he’d starved himself for so long.

YS closed his eyes, content. He wasn’t shivering now. The air around him was still cold, and he could still feel its bite on his face, but his body was enveloped in warmth. Warmth of his brothers sharing space with him.

Warmth of his brothers, loving him.

[kuni-is-daddy]

Thinking about Scara fucking is hard before a big dinner with important figures

Also thinking about wanderer plunging his fingers deep into us on a walk, he’ll whisper in your ear how dirty and good you are for him, and as you finish on his fingers he’ll tell you to shake it off, just wanting to see how you struggled to walk with him afterwards

Boss scara strikes again, Ft Wanderer! X Female reader.

PURE FILTH.

juicy stuff: neck biting, Over the desk, Semi in public?

1.1k words

Scara fic list.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Lord Kuni

Scara calls you to his office but this time you know what he wants. As soon as he opens the door after you knock, you pounce on him like a cat. He gives a shocked expression but immediately falls into your sloppy kiss, loving every second of your desperation to kiss and feel his touch. Your tongues intertwining as he carries you to his desk. Using electro energy to push everything out of his way. "K-kuni~ don't be so rough.." rough? He'll show you rough. He practically pins you against the desk, getting aroused as you let out a small moan in pain. "Mmh..don't talk about rough now pet~ you wanted this yeah? Kissing up on master like that without permission..I should fucking punish you." He strips you of your pants effortlessly, snickering at your embarrassed reaction. "Please I'm sorry master.. don't punish me~ please~" you whined. "so pathetic y/n... My little pet pounces on me then doesn't want it back?" He pulled away from you, wanting you to beg for his touch. "N-no! Kuni I want you! I want you master please~ please fuck me~" you spread your legs as he let out an aroused look at how wet you are. "Fuck.. look how wet you are..like a slut~" he pulled his pants down and began stroking "M' not a slut..." You pouted. "It's alright baby. Because your mine..masters little slut. Gonna have more fun with you later~ let's make this quick." He positioned his cock and rammed into you instantly, making you yell as he already hit your sweet spot~ "K-KUNI~ AH...TOO MUCH!!~"

he began thrusting, balls deep inside of you. "Shit..y/n.. your so fucking warm~ keep yelling like that and I'll cum inside already~" he moved his hands down to your waist, grabbing tightly while plunging inside of you. "KUNI.. PLEASE.. i...OH FUCK~" your moans echoed through the room, along with the sound of your skin slapping together. It was as if you were already fucked dum. "Yeah..just like that..keep moaning for me like the slut you are.. gonna give you my load baby...take it.." "YES KUNI PLEASE..I WANT IT...DADDY~ I-" he leaned down towards you, kissing you once more as you wrapped your arms around him. "Hah.. shit m' gonna cum slut...ah~ take it.. take masters cum~" he let out a loud groan. Pushing so far inside of you, you couldn't help but bite on his shoulder "Ah~ oh fuck yeah baby..bite on master~ let it go.. let that cum ooze on my cock. Such a good girl~" your grip weakened on his shoulders. Lightly letting out another moan as he pulled out and already began cleaning himself up and putting back in his pants. "k-kuni~ waittt where are you going.." he turned his head, looking at your dummed out expression. "Oh yeah. I got a meeting with the 'teyvat world leaders' or whatever. But..." He cupped your face, looking at your glossy eyes. "You stay here alright, that's an order. Once I get back. I'm gonna breed you. And make you mine for good."

HaTguY, wanderer.

Wanderer didn't take the annual sumeru sabzerus festival seriously. He was only looking forward to the last round which consisted fighting. And dam he had PLENTY of time considering everyone had too look around the city and a bit into the outskirts for some 'butterfly' looking creatures he didn't even care about. if only nahida didn't drag the both of you into the competition, maybe then you wouldn't be so busy running around and stopping at benches to gather information on the insects. But wanderer had another way to shut you up.

"Fuck yes baby...just like that..take my fingers~" you laid back on the bench, legs spread only enough for him to stick his hands down your pants. "K-kuni..noo~ someone will ah~" you covered your mouth, trying to hide your moans as he fingered you in broad daylight. "Hmm? You think someone is gonna see baby?" You nodded your head "Mmm that's even better then~ want everyone to see how good I make you feel y/n. How dirty you are, letting me touch you like this" "m' not dirty...kuni.. hah..." He climbed ontop of you, now inserting 3 fingers. "Oh Yeah? Then your my good girl~ taking 3 of my fingers..so fucking good.." your eyes began tearing up from you holding back your moans, watching as Kuni smirked and even began laying his hands along your breasts. "Y-yes kuni~ I'm your good girl~ wanna cum' for you" he sped up his pace, sending chills as your body quivered from his slim fingers. "Then let go like a good girl and cum on daddy's fingers~ cum while daddy rubs those nice tits of yours.." he began to moan with you in sync, loving how the littlest touch from him could get you worked up. "Hah~ k-kuni...I'm...i-AH~" "that's it.. there's my good girl.. all over my fingers~" he licked your juices off his hand, sticking out his tongue ridiculously to mimic your lewd expressions then pulling away from you.

Suddenly another horn rang, signifying that their is only one person left able to find the creature. You messily fixed your clothes and tried to get up. Only to be stuck sitting back down over a burning sensation you felt in your thighs. "Shake it off baby, relax..." He leaned down and stared at you, putting his hat back on. "Tsk. Not like your gonna win anyway right? It's just some stupid scholar game." Kuni scoffed. Dam. He knew how important this was too you. You had to represent and respect your archons honor no matter what! You got up again, this time giving a smirk to Kuni while he watched your legs wobble. "Heh. T-thats what YOUU think Kuni. I'm gonna get that last point. Just you wait and see!"

Oh yes Kuni was waiting, just to spar you in the final round for the crown.

()note: been wanting to write bout Jujutsu kaisen men again Like gojo, toji and megumi so if y'all got some thirsts or ideas, preach!! My brain is stuck in scara world forever 😭😭

[humanperryfic]

KINGS OF HEARTS

(A VamPerryshmirtz AU Halloween doodle that went a little overboard)

(look I know it's a few days after Halloween but it's still Halloweekend so it counts)

AU thoughts:

so clearly they're both vampires in this AU. but they are Very Different vampires.

perry was turned in his mid-thirties in the late 1700's

he works for the VOWCA, the Vampires Organization Without A Cool Acronym, as one of their top agents

VOWCA generally works to (1) fight vampire hunters (2) keep vampires from being known too publicly and (3) kill the covens of evil vampires that threaten (2)

it's kinda like a good-guy coven of badass vampires

they've even got like their own livestock farm so their agents can avoid killing normals and not starve to death

side note livestock blood tastes horrible to vampires but morals yk

the rest of the flynn-fletchers are Also vampires

except they were turned in the late 70's and VOWCA rules say you gotta be a vampire for 50 years before you can join (something about being used to being a vampire)

so perry's protecting them from a distance, keeping them alive until he can bring them in

and of course he gets assigned to fight dr. doofenshmirtz.

who is a pathetic wet cat of a vampire. turned at about 45 between world wars, immigrated to the US to attempt to take over some small midwest american town and form his own coven but using inators instead of the vampire powers he's still kind of uncomfortable using

this clearly has not worked.

at all.

he married charlene in the late 60's, who had no idea he was a vampire until he got SUPER hungry, accidentally drained her too much, and turned her to keep her alive

which she divorced him for (fair tbh)

oh and she was pregnant at the time so Vanessa is like...mostly vampire but still a little human? like, extreme garlic allergy, faint but visible in mirrors, sun sensitive but won't burn, extended lifespan but not immortal, can drink blood but also gets some energy from human food

she looks/acts 16 but is actually about 48 real years old (so ages at about 1/3 the speed)

anyway charlene is part of one of the really dangerous vampire covens.

and heinz is still just trying to take over the tri-state area using stupid inventions.

he's not like. vampire type evil. he's very canon-type evil.

perry sees him for the first time and is like. VOWCA sent me to fight this guy?

he sticks around to see if he gets dangerous but after a while he realizes that as long as perry is there to thwart his inventions, dr doofenshmirtz just isn't that evil

he looks scary, sure, but that's at least partially just him being kinda malnourished and terrible at taking care of himself

also fighting him is kind of a break from being dangerous and shooting other vampires with silver bullets

and despite everything. they get close.

the antagonism grows into fondness.

it's the same story as always, because it's still them

heinz falls first, perry falls harder

and eventually perry is the one to formally ask heinz out (there's some sort of formal ritual thing since they're both vampires- perry's a lot older of a vampire so he knows these things, which freaks heinz out a little bc he's trying to impress perry)

during their first date perry gets word that the flynn-fletchers are in trouble and the two of them run to go save them

heinz is the one that inators the evil vampires away and perry is like "if i were a less respectable vampire i would literally marry you right now"

too bad vampire courtship is a formal Thing

and because the flynn-fletchers were able to defend themselves pretty well they're allowed to join VOWCA early

phineas and ferb take to it disturbingly easily, candace is less easily persuaded since she still wants to be a Normal Teen, but once she realizes Vanessa is also basically a vampire she's like "alright fine"

linda and lawrence learn some self defense and basically just keep running the antique store

and eventually heinz winds up going "good" and joining VOWCA. which is basically a reverse proposal in vampire terms.

it's a damn good thing perry was planning on marrying him anyway <3

[hydranomago]

► Hypmic Stage OG Cast Backstage Final Farewell

A new cast will be added to HypSute starting from 2024 [promo vid here](Personally will miss OG cast like hell, they've really grown into their roles)

Thank you dear cast for bringing these characters to life 🙏 [Master Post] for more HypMic Stage Videos

OG cast farewell highlights (below cut!)

Kuko hyping up an imaginary audience, only for Jyushi to respond to it cutely

Sasa & Sama distance issues with camera (they have 1 braincell)

honestly just ✨ SASARA ✨ (I don't believe anyone could play him like Mackey does, I'll miss this cat-coded silly clown so much)

Sasa not telling DT beforehand for synchronisation

Taiyou's Jakurai is so calming

Already miss first Doppo's actor (Miyagi Kodai) for his extreme bows

YASUI AS RAMU YASUI AS RAMU YASUI AS RAMU (he's too adorable, his mannerisms are spot on)

But Gentaro (Sakata's version) we just got you, and we loved your performance!

FP energy is the best, I stand by what I said

Mom Jyuto, Dad Rio, Grumpy Teen Sama combo you will be missed

As much as I love Abe Alan, I love how he plays Sama more His grumpy tsundere + wet pathetic kitty vibes are immaculate, no one's doing it like him

Rio pulled by Sama for going the wrong way - peak soldier

BB BABIES uwu

Ichiro's buildup and soft 'thank you' + that sign 😂 Jiro: "Nii-san...??? Are we doing it in turns?"

Cast laughing at each other's antics for the last time + that final round of applause 😭♥️

[piratefishmama]

Crossing the line | Part 8

“What do I wear, what do I wear, ROBIN WHAT DO I WEAR?! Do I wear this? Or—or this? He said he—”

“Steven Marlon Harrington if you do not put that sweater vest down this INSTANT I will burn it. I’ll open the window—”

“You can’t open the window it doesn’t open this high up, and that’s not my middle name.”

“I will BREAK open the window and set that highly flammable offense to the eyes on fire then throw it out of said window. Put it down.”

“But he said he liked the idea of the sweater vest! He got all ‘oh nooo’ when I said I wasn’t going to wear it!”

“You keep your kinky shit out of my first metal gig experience, Steven, you keep it far away from my metal gig experience.”

“You didn’t even want to GO! How is it KINKY?”

It was Tuesday, specifically 7:49pm Tuesday evening.

After their magical first meeting in that coffee shop, Steve had promised, hand on heart, that he wouldn’t go back to the coffee shop before the gig. Something that Steve had balked at because he wanted an authentic coffee shop au experience dammit. But Eddie had put his foot down, claimed it’d be unfair.

Eddie wanted him to experience the gig, he wanted him to experience it, experience who Eddie actually was outside of the apron and the indie coffee shop aesthetics because they often softened a lot of the rough edges in people, he wanted this beautiful human with… an admittedly really nice voice shut up, to experience the real him, and then ask him out.

He didn’t get to spend days putting on the charm, making Eddie feel all whirly, only to rip it away at the gig when he realised he didn’t actually like the real Eddie Munson.

Steve didn’t think that was entirely necessary since he’d gotten a verbal beat down for an entire week from the guy, but he’d wasted zero time in purchasing those tickets anyway. Maybe he was pathetically down bad for a little wet cat, Steve would own it.

Eddie was an incredibly attractive little wet cat, he wore the wet cat look well.

“Cause he wants to see you in it, it’s gotta be a weird kink thing. Do not bring that energy to my metal gig. I will vomit.”

“What were you actually going to do if I scored with this guy and left us with a twin room at the Conrad? What would you have done?”

“Cried myself to sleep in the bathtub wearing earplugs. Maybe I’d have had a dish of chocolate covered strawberries in there with me, I dunno.”

“You’re so weird.” The words said with such fondness that she couldn’t help but turn her head toward her brother from another mother, her Sistah from another mistah, her twin separated at birth, and grin at him, all teeth and scrunched nose.

They were getting ready in the same room, no awkwardness, no weird vibes, they’d accidentally showered together before, shared a bubble bath in Steve’s ridiculous jet tub back at his apartment, their level of platonic soulmate was so far unmatched.

“You love me.” He did. He really really did. “Okay, okay, put that down. Maybe you can save the sweater vest for like… a date or something. Maybe the dinner you wanted to take him out on. Let’s see what we have here” She rounded the bed in naught but a cut off band tee crop top and a pair of fishnets over her underwear, having been doing her makeup before donning the ripped black pair of shorts she’d thrifted because there didn’t have to be a right order to do things in. “Right… this is a metal gig, and from what we know of Corroded Coffin, it’s not like… glam metal, we don’t need anything flashy, shit’s thrash metal, so like… ripped denim, belt chains, leather jackets, band Tees, guys don’t have to dress up for this shit. Pretty sure your wet rat will be wearing a dumb band tee and ripped jeans. The only thing you have to worry about, is overheating.”

“Overheating?” Gosh he was so unprepared, how was she more prepared for this? Hyper fixation maybe.

“Yeah, why do you think I’m wearing shorts, you’ll be sweating bullets in there, it’s a dive bar, Steve it’s not The Garden. It’s not open air, it’s dingy, the floor will be sticky, the alcohol will be trash, and there’ll be a mosh pit, it’s not going to be pretty. Have you got your plugs?”

Steve lifted a tiny metal tube up and wiggled it in his hand “Gottem”

“Good, make sure you put those in before the music starts, they’ll filter some of the harsher sounds, keep your migraines at bay.” Concussions did damage, and he’d had a few. Not just The Hemsworth Incident™️, he’d partied hard as a teen, lost a few fights, okay, he’d lost most fights.

Brain damage was a real issue with concussions apparently!

Migraines happened, he had little earplugs that didn’t block all noise, just filtered it a little to reduce the impact on his eardrums so he could still enjoy things. Sometimes they helped, sometimes they didn't, it wasnt perfect.

“Okay so… what should I wear? I can’t just wear the plugs, Robin, I know I’m trying to like… pull, but naked celebrity in a dive bar sounds a bit dangerous.”

“Alright smartass, those jeans, that band tee, skip the jacket, you’ll just wind up dying from heatstroke. Actually, gimmie that shirt.” Robin snagged the tee out of Steve’s hands as he held it up she took it over to the dresser where she’d left a little sewing kit she’d also picked up during their thrift shopping, grabbed the scissors and went to town on the damn thing. “You’re gonna sweat, so— accept that he’s gonna see you all gross and sweaty.”

“Nghhhh but—" He wanted to be flawless dammit! Turn on his charm. He couldn’t do that while sweaty and gross!!

“It’s fine, he’ll be all gross and sweaty too. Maybe he’ll even like the gross sweaty look, who knows, he seems like a weird ‘I like sweaty, hairy men’ kinda guy.”

“I thought you said he seemed like a 'moms’ basement dwelling virgin' kind of guy.”

“He’s a weird, wet scraggly cat with layers. He also seems like a ‘clap if you believe’ kind of guy too, but I can’t judge him on that cause—” and she clapped, he let out a brief snort of a laugh. “Okay, here” she threw the remnants of the shirt at him, now transformed into a sleeveless muscle tee, the sides cut to shit to reveal the expanse of mole-dotted golden tanned skin and soft muscle of his sides, the graphic on the front looking like a red hand holding a mallet of some kind, the name of the band too faded to make out. “Wear that, the ripped jeans, and those combat boots.”

“…Just this?”

“Yes, I’ll finish it off with some kohl after I’m done, okay?” Steve raised a single brow at her, but he didn’t argue. He’d long since given up arguing with Robin about how eyeliner made his eyes ‘pop’, it… actually did, so he’d accept it. So when she finally finished dressing and accessorising herself, she completed his look for him too, mussing his hair a little in a way that only she was allowed to do, a little smudged eyeliner, a brush of mascara, and he was good to go.

“Well?” Steve asked, standing straight for Robin’s assessing gaze.

She smiled, like a shark sensing blood in the water, she was pleased with her work. “Oh Stevie Stevie Stevie, trust me, he’s not gonna know what hit him.”

God he hoped she was right.

Part 10

[theinfinitedivides]

2x8 was Jacob and Assad (& Delainey bc iirc this is the wrap-up to the trial

Delainey wasn't in 2.8, 2.7 ended with Claudia's death. And the scene (among multiple scenes that got a lot of attention) that the most people were talking about after 2.8 was the reunion scene. Look at how many of the end of the year write ups on the show talk about that scene. The reveal scene was also talked about extensively, and Assad was great, but 2.8's focus was as much Jacob and Sam as Jacob and Assad. It was honestly pretty Jacob and Eric too.

Also, we don't know what episodes the show is submitting for best drama or for the actors individually. The show submitted 2.5 for its writing and directing and 2.8 for directing to the guilds. They're not submitting 2.5 (that we know of) as the best overall episode of the show, since yes, that would feel noticeably odd to do that and not submit Assad.

I would like Assad to be submitted too. In a vacuum, I get why the show might only submit its two male leads and Delainey. But we're not in a vacuum, and I hate the thought that they'd be submitting Assad if the cultural climate were different right now. So I'm not disagreeing with you on his merit or the possibly ugly reasons for his exclusion. Just on how the episodes are being used/seen.

anon. i'm going to try and assume you meant to send this as neutrally and in good faith as possible and not go off on you as bad as i could have but let's be so fucking real rn. AMC could be casting lots and getting their fortunes read as backup plans before driving down to Sundown Town to submit their picks as FYCs i don't give a flying fuck about whatever's going on behind the scenes of the racism. the turning wheels of the slights the machinery behind the discrimination and all that i care that the racism exists. 'the scene (among multiple scenes that got a lot of attention) that the most people were talking about after 2.8 was the reunion scene. Look at how many of the end of the year write ups on the show talk about that scene' hmmmm yes ofc bc the minute people see the white man they start jumping for joy hello. where was their level of fucking enthusiasm for the rest of the season. why are they only crawling out of the woodwork to see Sam serve pathetic wet cat vamp energy and cling to his board and then reunite with Jacob (in a scene i will admit was intimate enough between the two of them for the staff to cut the mics. normalize letting the actors have little pieces of their characters to keep for themselves tyvm). why can't they crawl out of the woodwork to see the smile on Jacob's face as Louis when he's heading to NOLA bc he's heading back home. not home as in Lestat in NOLA necessarily but home as in the fucking city he grew up in and that he will carry for the rest of his immortal life. as for however the fuck they're using the eps to submit and say 'look pls give us a shiny star and some recognition pls we're doing so well' they're not doing it well enough, apparently, since everything they do has the pale, pale stamp of approval—and last i fucking checked they do not care about what's 'odd' to leave out. Jacob/Delainey didn't get nommed in one of the most recent rounds and AMC posted AI-generated content instead of idk. actually boosting their fucking actors. Assad still gets zero promo i think i've seen him more recently on the Only Fangs page than the actual account in charge of doing media play. we're putting too much faith in a shitty corporation with this take, tbh. call me back when they've submitted 2x5 as the best ep and they manage to give Assad half the stem of his flowers OR they've finally bribed one of the awards with enough money to squeeze Jacob in there or something since saying look at the titular fucking vamp isn't enough to get a man his dues in this economy, apparently. such are the days we live in

[somebluemelodies]

i love that there’s an ongoing theme with a lot of the qsmp ships (especially the canon/close to canon ones) that is just this typically serious, nonchalant character - likely with a heavy/angsty backstory - and a character who’s oftentimes silly/chaotic, dramatic, or simply exudes wet cat energy, with or without the angsty backstory

i’m mainly looking at spiderbit, fitpac, and pissa/phissa- read my nonsensical ramble under the cut-

spiderbit!! you have q!Cellbit: a former child solider and an ex-convict from Alcatraz bc he was a cannibal and essentially a crazed serial killer. and his husband is q!Roier, who spent his earlier days on the island flirting with anyone and everyone, has Drama Queen™️ tendencies, and has an alter-ego who lives a double life as a stripper and psychologist. i don’t think Chafaland is canon so we don’t have much of a pre-island backstory for him, if one at all. granted, q!Cellbit we all know that sometimes has the wet cat or chaotic moments, so different dynamics can be interchanged between these two

fitpac!! q!Fit comes directly from the anarchy hellscape known as 2b2t, and as far as i’m aware, has spent most of if not all of his life there. led wars, killed a shit ton of people… yknow, all that jazz. literal war veteran. and yet!! who softens him and literally makes him fucking blush but none other than q!Pac. yes, q!Pac literally got his leg eaten and was also put into Alcatraz but up until he got kidnapped a couple weeks ago, the sheer chaos of this man?? regardless of the angst?? and now he’s slowly healing and getting back to normal too?? a silly lil inventor guy fr

pissa (why was this the chosen ship name again?)!! idk what the hell is going on with q!Phil’s backstory other than that he’s an/the Angel of Death, so there’s whatever angst and/or drama that comes with that. but this man just wants to chill and take care of his kids. and then… you have q!Missa… the MOST pathetic wet cat (/affectionate) on the entire island. and yknow what? i love him for that! the way this man has acted with q!Phil since he returned? i don’t even think i need to elaborate

but on a more serious note tho, i love that the relationships can (and do) run so much deeper too

i’ve talked about spiderbit plenty, but i’ll keep talking about them bc they just mean sm to me. the way they balance each other out and complement each other, the way they’re always there for each other. the way their relationship is so heavily built on trust. these two have so much love and commitment for each other it’s almost sickening. meus pais </3

fucking fitpac man they grew on me so fast :’D there’s a certain depth and potential with them that makes me crazy. they way they could (and do) help each other and always look out for each other. the way that they, regardless of inadvertently or intentionally, help each other heal from all the baggage they each carry is just… ough. i need them to become canon at this point idc. they’re both clearly into each other i don’t make the rules. THE POTENTIAL

i really hope we get more pissa bc it’s literally so crystal clear they care about each other, regardless of how much distance or how much time has passed. and that’s big. just like fitpac, there’s so much potential with them too, even if their marriage is platonic. i just wanna see their dynamic explored more please and thank you. it’s been so long </3

ANYWAY that’s… whatever this was. did this make any sense? idk. these gay cubitos man, i’m telling you. gotta love the lgbtqsmp. if you read all that, thanks :D

[localsimpissleepy]

After seeing...THAT teaser, I was scared for this weeks previews

But I think this will apply more to the rest of the storymode maps when they get revealed, and when they get fully released

But enough of me talking, lets go into these previews i guess

JD 2025 Previews: Week 6

I will be honest, this is the only troll song I will accept

Because this map actually looks fun to dance too

Hearing this song so around Tiktok, I was kinda expecting to see it get into the game, and I was right

The choreography isn't too hard, and the background looks silly and fun (if i'm correct, i'm pretty sure some well known animator worked on this? I think? I could be wrong)

I don't got much to say, but I perfer this troll map then...whatever that fuck they did on that Shakira alt...

Costume of this coach? Stunning (she kinda reminded me of Phoenix, mainly the all the good girls go to hell costume)

Choreography seems different, but I'm not complaining

The camera angle looks cool, could be a bit difficult to dqnce to, but that's okay

I guess the only negative thing I have to say for this map is the background, fir me it's just a bit too simple

Overall, don't got much to say, but I like this map

After 2 fucking years....CYGNUS IS FUCKING BACK-

Like everyone else, I was fucking scared for this map, I still am, but my boy Cygnus made things better

He's so pathetic, bro looks a bit ugly with his shirt hair, but I'll forgive him for that since it's Cygnus we're talking about

He fell in love at first sight, such a loser lmao

Listen, I could go all day talking about how much I love his pathetic wet cat ass but we'll be here all day so...yeah

Choreography seems fun, wish Cygnus was playble but it's fine

Hopefully we'll get to see more of the city Cygnus (since i've always wanted to know more about that city)

Bonus points for baby Mihaly, their so cute (Jack & Mihaly are so childhood friends lol), also, if we do see all the young Just Dancers (except Sara) and EVEN baby Wanderlust anywhere in this map

Then I will fucking lose it.

Okay here's the extreme

I'm pretty sure this is the official choreography? Idk

This extreme seems simple to me (I say that and then they do another impossible gold move, that or I will easily get tired...probably both)

Don't got much to say, but I like this extreme

Today, I just found out this is from the Titanic🧍‍♀️

I mean...I don't hate it, this just seems like a weird choice to make a map to dance too

But I will give them credit for the choreography, cause I like how both coaches are singing karaoke to the crowd, and how the lyrics are displayed in the background instead, and I like their energy, this is a silly enjoyable map (also i like easy maps, so i can see myself dancing to this one alot)

Overall, I like this weeks previews

But I'm kinda scared to see the rest of the storymode maps🧍‍♀️