#hes bad and a rascal but oh.. i love pathetic man

[soularsss]

goodnight tumblr nation i have some screencaps of mr evilguy

[elentiyawhitethorn]

Prompt- Nyx tickles Rhys in front of all the hewn city members. (Rhys is very ticklish)

A Visit to Hewn City

Fluff//1565 words

“You are not taking our child to Hewn City. Absolutely not.” Feyre’s arms were crossed and she had an obstinate look in her eyes.

Rhys just smirked. “Fine. You can take him with you to your art classes.”

Feyre winced, likely remembering the last time that had happened. Nyx had gotten into a bucket of paint, smeared his hands all over the wall in a desperate attempt to get it off, then started crying. “I’ll stay home today.”

“I thought you were short-staffed.” Rhys knew exactly how this conversation would end from the sigh that escaped his mate’s lips.

“Can’t you go to Hewn City another day?” Feyre asked in a last-ditch attempt to keep her son away from there.

Rhys raised an eyebrow. “We’ve both already rescheduled the last few dates we were meant to go. Keir was annoyed enough as it is to hear that only one of us could come today.”

“We could get a babysitter—”

“Mor is off being our emissary. Cassian and Nesta are in the mountains. Azriel’s on a mission. All of our other friends are busy in some way. Do you trust our son with a stranger?”

Feyre squeezed her eyes shut. “I know you won’t let anything happen to him, I just don’t want Nyx in that environment.”

Rhys gaze softened. “I know, darling. I understand. If you really don’t want me to—”

“No,” Feyre cut him off. “I trust you.” She placed a hand on his shoulder and tried for a smile. “Just think of the look on Keir’s face when you show up with a baby. He only found out about Nyx during out last visit, yes?”

Rhys’ lips twitched. “Indeed. I imagine he’ll be rather surprised. And hopefully annoyed too. My dear uncle deserves a bit on trouble every now and then, don’t you think?”

Feyre grinned. “Absolutely. I need to go now.”

Rhys gave Feyre a peck on the cheek. “Have fun.”

Feyre returned the sentiment and winnowed away.

Rhys gathered Nyx in his arms, ready to head off to his meeting. And really, he was the most powerful high lord Prythian had ever seen. Only Feyre’s power rivaled his own. How hard would it be to keep a baby under control for a few hours?

—

As predicted, the look on Keir’s face was absolutely priceless. Rhys winnowed nearby, then strutted into the throne room with a baby in his arms. Of course a few residents of Hewn City dropped their goblets at the sight.

Keir, though… he looked absolutely enraged. The first glimpse of his distantly related grand-nephew did not seem to meet his standards.

Rhys just grinned at him and kept walking. Passing occupants of the Court of Nightmares, who were all scrambling to bow, seemed to please Nyx. He was reaching out of Rhys’ arms at everyone they walked by, excited to meet new people.

Rhys made it to the two thrones and took a seat in his own. Nyx settled on his lap, cooing.

“You brought the newborn,” Keir commented. His voice was strained.

Rhys just smiled. “I hope you don’t mind. Your High Lady is busy today. Subjects, may I present my son, Nyx.”

The whole room seemed to collectively take a breath, processing the situation. They clearly hadn’t been expecting a baby to appear in their domain.

Ignoring the silence, Rhys turned to Keir once more. “Any important updates?”

Keir was still frowning at Nyx. “Everything has been as it usually is. We only need to discuss how to calm down some residents who have gotten a bit worked up about some issue or other.”

Rhys, accustomed to the vague references to his people, wasn’t bothered by the lack of willingness to share. He was, however, bothered by the way Keir scowled at Nyx throughout this little speech. Even now, his eyes were on the baby who was currently pulling at Rhys’ hand.

“Do you have an issue with the presence of my child, Keir?” Rhys’ voice was icy.

Keir’s eyes snapped to Rhys. “He has wings.”

Trying to keep from throttling the male in front of his son, Rhys kept his tone even. He noticed the whole room tense at his words. “Does that matter?”

Keir frowned. “Being commanded by an Illyrian and his bastard Illyrian friends was bad enough. Now the child?”

Rhys wanted to use his power on the man. He’d done it before. Feyre had as well. But with Nyx there… absolutely not.

Instead, Rhys smiled. “I’m glad you’re pleased with him. Now go fetch some wine for me.”

Keir tensed, debating whether to argue, as he’d done many previous times. But something hard in Rhys’ eyes had the male scampering away.

Nyx seemed totally oblivious to the encounter. He gave his small wings a flap and scooted on Rhys’ lap. A string of babbled baby language left his mouth.

Rhys smiled fondly at the boy. “Hello, son.”

The entirety of Hewn City was watching their high lord coo at his baby, but Rhys paid them no mind. He wasn’t going to be cold and ruthless in front of Nyx.

Keir reappeared with the wine and Rhys took the goblet, not bothering to thank him. Then he dismissed Keir with a wave of the hand and went back to playing with his son.

—

Rhys wasn’t meant to be at Hewn City for long. After a couple of hours, Rhys had the small issue Keir had mentioned sorted out. He’d also entertained the court for as long as his lordly duties required.

Ready to leave, Rhys tried to scoop up Nyx, who had crawled over on Feyre’s empty throne. The baby managed to get Rhys back on his own seat and clung to his tunic, babbling.

“Now, Nyx, it’s time to leave,” Rhys said in a gentle voice, much of the court still watching curiously. They certainly had a very long attention span.

Nyx remained uncooperative. He tried to climb up Rhys’ shirt. In the process, his little baby fingers dug into Rhys’ side.

Rhys let out a startled laugh.

Pleased with the reaction, Nyx repeated the movement.

Prepared and trying to hold it in, Rhys lasted a few seconds before laughing once more. The entire court was staring at them now, entirely unsure of how to react to seeing their high lord being tickled. Keir was glaring with disapproval from the sidelines.

Nyx didn’t let up, surprisingly strong for a baby. Rhys had a bit of a laughing fit while trying—and failing—to corral his son.

Not sure if he’d be able to pick up the rascal and make it out the door, Rhys just smiled at the Court of Nightmares and said, “Your High Lady and I will visit next month. Be on your best behavior.” Then he winnowed away, hoping he didn’t sound as embarrassed as he was feeling.

Gods, Rhys’ face felt warm. He was blushing. Maybe they’d blame it on the wine.

Having appeared in his home, Rhys straightened and stepped toward the bedroom door, hoping to make inside before Feyre caught him. Nyx, still unused to winnowing, clapped his hands excitedly at the change in scenery.

“What did you do?”

Rhys slowly turned. “Do?”

Feyre had her arms crossed. She didn’t look particularly angry; she only seemed curious as to why her unflappable mate was blushing and trying to sneak into their bedroom.

“Did he get into trouble?”

“He was on his best behavior, actually. You shouldn’t be so doubtful toward him, darling. It hurts his feelings.”

Feeling entirely unhurt, Nyx hiccuped and reached for his mother. Feyre lifted him out of Rhys’ arms, rolling his eyes at the pathetic attempt at a deflection.

“What did you do then?”

Rhys winced. “Why do you think anything happened at all?”

Feyre impatiently knocked at her mate’s mental shields, not trusting a word that came out of his mouth. Reluctantly, Rhys lowered them, allowing Feyre full access to his mind.

After witnessing the day’s events, Feyre burst out laughing. “Oh, gods.”

Rhys pouted. “Stop that.”

“Being tickled by a baby in the middle of the Court of Nightmares. How will you ever look them in the eye again?” Feyre managed between laughs.

Rhys sighed. “I won’t. You’re on permanent Hewn City duty.”

Feyre smiled. “Right. Gods, I need to go tell Mor.”

Rhys’ eyes widened. “You need to do no such thing!”

“And Cassian. He’ll never let you live it down.” Feyre was fighting a smile.

Rhys crossed his arms. “Think of the child. What would poor Nyx think of his mother bullying his father so terribly?”

Feyre grinned. “He seems rather pleased with himself, actually.” Indeed, Nyx was stretching his lips, smiling toothlessly, tugging on Feyre’s sleeve.

Rhys sighed. “Oh, well. I think I’ve about given up on dignity at this point.”

Feyre smiled fondly at her husband. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Rhys guided his wife to the bedroom so that she could set down Nyx and let him play.

Upon asking how her day was, Rhys discovered she’d had a great time with her students, teaching some newbies how to mix the colors.

Despite the lingering embarrassment, Rhys was no longer upset about what had occurred in Hewn City. After all, a little bit of sheepishness was definitely worth seeing the look on Keir’s face. Maybe he’d bring Nyx with them again next time.

———

Tag List:

@feysand-loml

@aelin-bitch-queen

@story-scribbler

@live-the-fangirl-life

@midsizewitch

[soradragon]

Prank full of love

Dwalin here! Woooo!! changed my style a bit to fit with the type of genre this is, this is a comedy x reader fic. I’m very proud.

Also, thank you my sweet @deepestfirefun​ for helping me out! And Thank you my beta reader for helping me out! I love you!

Warnings: cursing, shirtless dwarf (wink wonk) and fluff with a sprinkle of angst

Dwalin x F! reader,  mentions of bagginshield

Check out my main masterlist if you liked what you read and wanna read more!

If you want to be tagged in the upcoming fics don’t be afraid to ask me! ^^

Please, if you liked the story leave a little comment to let me know you liked it!

Anyway, enjoy^^

~~~~~~

"You..!"

A deep, threatening and rough voice bounced against the walls of the passages. 

Not much further ahead was a woman, pushing a man of what looked like a high status to the side. She was running like a madwoman, fleeing from what people would think; the devil. 

That woman is you. Yes you; surprising, isn't it? 

What did you do to get yourself ending up in this peculiar predicament, you probably wonder?

Well then, no need to look further nor to scroll down to nitpick every sentence in this story to make even the slightest sense of what's going on in this world of chaos. It shall all be explained right here and now! 

If you didn't care nor wonder what, how, and why this all happened, then too bad! You have no power over this story! Haha, take that!

Ahem, anyway...It all happened at a feast around midnight before all this chaos came to be.

*(*)*(*)*

Fili and Kili dragged you with them. The blonde prince led the way as the younger brother pulled you with them.

They had been spouting stuff about "the greatest idea ever." and "going in the history books for being the legendary mischief-makers." Or something like that. You didn't really listen, like at all, only perking up and paying a biiit more attention when they mentioned 'you' and 'food.'

Were you getting an all-you-can-eat-buffet?

Aww, such sweethearts! They shouldn't have.

Weelll, you did deserve it, after all. Going along on this journey and defeating a dragon is not an easy feat. They should make you an entire statue while they're at it! 

Yes, one right next to the entrance so all visitors and passers-by could see you and know of your magnificent and heroic deeds.

You mentally patted yourself on the back. The look on your face was a mix of smugness and pride.

But you were forgetting one small itty bitty detail (or two) in your only sliiightly intoxicated state:

You weren't the sole hero who slew the dragon. You already got your fair share of the reward: a high status in the kingdom - a place in the High Court of the company who went on that dragon-slaying quest - and a luxurious comfy home included. And not to forget the gold you were promised. Thorin also offered work in a high place in the kingdom like a royal scholar or something, but you gracefully declined. You liked working in the toy shop with Bofur and Bifur - so...no statue for you.

But you didn't remember that.

You snapped out of your daydreams when Fili softly helped you to sit down on your bed. 

How did you get here in the first place?

"Are you alright Y/N?"

Fili or Kili, you don't know which one as they looked the same to you at the moment, wiggling in front of you with their two clones.

When did they become a quadruplet?

"Y/N?"

Oh yeah, you still needed to answer them. 

"...'M fiiinee."

You managed to slur out with difficulty, sleepiness slowly taking over. The brain cells were already going to bed, leaving behind a heavily drunken brain to operate the whole system.

What could go wrong, am I right?

...A lot.

*(*)*(*)*

"Ugh, stupid hangover..."

You moaned, resting your chin on the edge of the bucket pathetically.

You felt like you died and came back to life again, moaning over a bucket you desperately tried not to look into, for you knew the meal you had yesterday would not be a pretty sight.

At least you could tell what was up and down...yay for you...

You didn’t forget that you had somehow convinced Fili and Kili you were really fine and totally not wasted. How was beyond you, and you were not in the mood to figure it out.

Maybe they were also drunk or just took advantage of your pickled state. Yeah, they would do that to guilt-trip you into going along with their prank. They knew you never break a promise, even if you made it in your totally half-sober state. They were too cunning for their own and others’ - mostly others’ - good.

Anyway, somehow (not surprisingly) without knowing what you were getting into, you had nodded along with everything they had said. 

You vaguely remember Kili or Fili tucking you in and saying goodnight. 

Note to self: Never try to win against Bofur - or any dwarf for that matter - in a drinking match ever again.

You chastised yourself while staggering towards your wardrobe.  How late would Fili or Kili pick you up to set his prank in motion? You didn’t even care which one it was - you hated them both at the moment...Okay, who are you kidding; you would do the same thing again in a heartbeat for either of them. And of course, they would give poor little you the hardest and most dangerous job to fulfil... Great. Just peachy.

Sigh.

Let's get this whole shenanigan over with, dammit. They’d better sing tales and praises about you once this is over. 

Not long after you put some clothes on, The two brothers barged into your chamber, loud and boisterous as ever. How they both could be so lively in the morning (with probably a hangover too) was beyond you.

"...Stupid dwarf genes..."

You mumbled to yourself as you let the two princes drag you to the training hall with their arms hooked around yours on either side. 

You felt dread pool inside your stomach as you got closer to the training hall. 

Now, normally you loved the training hall. After all, it was the front row seat to a heavenly sight of young warriors and their amazing muscles being put to use in a workout. Not to forget there was one dwarf in particular who you just loved to watch while he flexed his muscles by throwing other dwarves around.

But right now, you feared it with a burning passion, for that place was undoubtedly the place where you would meet your inevitable doom.

"Don't worry dear Y/N, it's gonna be fun!"

Kili spoke up happily, seeming to notice your unease Oh, how you would love to give him the big finger. But knowing Kili, he would drop you for the fun of it and make a whole drama show out of it, gasping and acting like a stereotypical blonde rich girl, one who just overheard the most scandalous gossip about herself. You cursed yourself for showing Kili how to be a true drama queen. (Prince, in his case, but you get the point.) The traitor uses all those tricks against you every chance he gets. You could just kick yourself for being so stupid to show him the ropes. What's worse is that if you would put Kili in a dress he would be the definition of a diva! How he does it? 

No one knows!

Why couldn't you just say no and walk away?

"Because you're too nice to leave your favourite dwarves hanging, Y/N. You promised you would help." Kili said. Technically, your autopilot did, not you. Unfortunately for you, Kili was right. You wouldn't leave him hanging. 

You glared at Kili and the stupid cheeky grin he gave you. You would have rolled your eyes at him if that wouldn't hurt as much as it did, so you decided to roll your eyes mentally instead.

Wait...did you just say that out loud?

"Yes, yes you did."

"Fu-"

*(*)*(*)*

After what seemed like ages Fili and Kili had finally managed to drag your miserable self to the big wooden doors of the training hall. You had given up the struggle after the longest ten minutes of your life, deciding to formulate a master escape plan before you would reach the training halls. Unfortunately for you, it was too late. You threw your carefully thought-out plan down the drain when Kili accidentally slammed the door against the wall too loud when he kicked it open with his boot.

Still having his arm looped around your's, mind you.

Everyone and everything quieted down for just a moment. Heads turned towards the entrance where they were all, no doubt about it, greeted with a comical sight. 

Fili and Kili, obnoxious as always and wicked smiles on their faces (and everyone who even remotely knew the young princes, grasped that the two were up to no good.) 

dragged a very anxious looking you with them. One would guess you were about to be sacrificed as a dragon's dinner.  Which you were, in your opinion.

"Come on Y/N,  time to teach you how to disarm opponents," Fili said, leading the way to a part of the area where a couple of young dwarves were thrown on the ground by one dwarf in particular, one you came to recognise as the hottest and grumpiest dwarf in all of Grump Town. And oh boy, you were not ready to get destroyed by him, and you showed it, too, pulling and protesting and cursing at everything that lived.

How you wished you could tell people that you managed to free yourself from the boy's grasp and run for the hills. 

Sadly, that wish didn't come true; God hated you or something, for Fili and Kili  - those little rascals - managed to push you right into Dwalin. 

You didn't know if Dwalin catching you was a blessing or a curse. What you did know, however, was that you most definitely were blushing, if your burning cheeks were anything to go off of.

Dwalin was shirtless... His strong, hairy arms encircled your waist delicately, and you were practically pressed against his chest...

Against his strong, warm and bushy dwarven chest.

The scent of sweat, smoke and a vague hint of cookie dough entered your nose, and it strangely made you feel at home.

You were a goner, yep completely gone, nobody's home. Come back later or leave a message after the beep for Y/N dot exe has stopped working and took a vacation to cloud nine.

Sadly, your cloud nine had been sucked away too quickly by the dwarf himself who put you there in the first place. 

Dwalin, being the grump that he is, grunted at you and pushed you back on your feet as if you had burned him! 

"Rude much," you grumbled once you managed to keep your balance, dusting yourself off.

Dwalin (the ass) only grunted in return. Him and his damn grunts. 

You ain't special enough for him to form a full sentence for you, now?

Fine, if he was gonna play it that way then, you were gonna give it to him back tenfold.

Screw consequences, the dick deserved this. You were gonna go all out. 

You turned around and stuck your tongue out like a real child woman.

Fili and Kili started to giggle behind you, getting quiet real quick when they saw Dwalin glaring daggers at them. 

You marched towards the two princes, whispering four words as you moved past them. 

"Let's do this shit." 

The boys definitely heard you, for their grins turned wicked. 

One glance and you knew what was about to come. If being the two princes’ guinea pig for pranks with poor Bilbo the entire journey taught you anything, it would be to recognize the twinkle in their eyes. 

It spoke in volumes louder than any dragon could roar; chaos was about to unfold, both in their brains (as they looked each other in the eye) and soon, in reality. You looked slightly over your shoulder. 

Yeah, they were scheming alright, communicating with that brotherly bond they share or something. 

Watch out Dwalin:

This. Is. War.

*(*)*(*)*

ShitshitshitshitSHIT!

Oh, how you came to regret tripping Dwalin up. In your defence, it wasn't your fault that he couldn't take his dark eyes off of you when you pulled your shirt off because the heat was getting too hot to handle. 

Wink wonk.

Hey, at least you wore a white undershirt. One which clung to your breasts tightly. Yeah, that'll give him something to look at.

Anyway! 

It wasn't your fault, either, when Dwalin marched towards you with purpose in his steps when you bent over to grab a dagger off the ground, showing him your assets in the process.

It was his fault, really! He should've noticed that Fili and Kili were waiting for him to stand on the grey X. And now you were running for your life with a very, very angry dwarf (who was covered in white glue and colourful feathers) on your heels. Thanks for everything, Kili. Thanks for shrieking out, "Y/N planned it!" The moment Dwalin glared at them...

The snitch.

You pushed dwarves to the side as you ran for your life, screaming sorry as you went, because you are a polite gentlelady. Dwarves watched you go with wide eyes, confused as heck as Dwalin stormed past them not long after.

Most of the time, you were glad they made the hallways mainly one straight line, but now? You cursed its existence and its creator.

There was unquestionably no doubt about it that Dwalin would catch up. Curse you and your hate of exercise.

You should have taken Gloin's offer of jogging with him when you had the chance, but Bombur's pastries were too tempting to pass up on at the time.

And now here you were, fleeing like the devil was behind you, with burning lungs and protesting legs. You were afraid to glance back; you could almost feel your pursuer’s breath go down your neck. You silently prayed to all the deities above and beneath you to help you out, and it seemed one took pity on your little mortal soul. For the moment you finished your prayer, you were rewarded with two things: two dwarves carrying barrels, and a small corridor you almost missed if it hadn't been for someone came out of said corridor. 

You took the opportunity without hesitation and slammed against the two unexpecting dwarves, who dropped the barrels in surprise. You managed to slip past them before the barrels hit the ground - like freaking Indiana Jones - skidding through the corridor with a sharp turn. 

Without a second wasted, you pressed yourself against the wall like a ninja on a mission and held your breath. This was the moment of truth. There were two possibilities: either Dwalin wasn't fooled by the stunt, or he runs right by you. You prayed for the latter.

Lo and behold, for your prayers have been answered again! The deities really loved you at this moment, or just had lots of pity for you.

Dwalin ran past the corridor.

You let out the biggest sigh of relief in your life Patting yourself on the back, you turned around with a smile... Only to come face to face with the king of the mountain. The smug-ass had a knowing smirk on his face.

Shitpopcicles...

"Why are you so out of breath Y/N? You look as if a warg was on your heels." the smirk faltered as Thorin rubbed at his chin as if he were thinking. 

The grin returned tenfold. "Is a certain dwarf chasing you, perhaps...?" His voice was teasing; he dang well knew why.

Oh, how you wished you could smack that smirk off his face, but sadly that was not a good idea. The bugger knows about your crush on Dwalin and teases you often. 

He found out about it during the journey and he had always put you and Dwalin on watch together. 

He shipped it, you just knew he did.

You pointed a threatening finger towards him. "Watch out, boy." You were close enough to Thorin to be the only one allowed to do something like this.

"Or this little lady won't hesitate to tell the whole damn mountain and a certain someone that you have a crush on a certain hobbit."

His face stayed the same - stoic and not moving - but you saw it at his softly reddening cheeks that your suspicions had been right. You grinned victoriously at Thorin, who stood there without uttering a word. Serves him right! Now you had blackmail. Internally, you were cackling evilly.

Your body froze while Thorin opened his mouth to speak. You felt as if Hell had just frozen over for that's when you heard it:

"You...!"

It sounded like thunder rumbling. Deep, rough and threatening. You would have totally been turned on if you weren't scared for your life. 

Dwarfzilla was coming...

Without noticing it, you pushed Thorin to the side and ran like a madwoman. This is how it all happened. Now you're all caught up, so let's continue.

Fili and Kili had better sing tales about you after this.

You turned many corners and hallways, zooming past Dwarves who flushed themselves against the narrow walls in haste as you ran past them.

Some of them called out to you, but you couldn't hear what they said; Being chased doesn't really give you the time to stop and listen to what they had to say, now does it?

At one point, you began to notice the path becoming disproportionate and rough. Stones stuck out of the floor and walls. You tripped over a couple of those, those little buggers. Soon, it was as if you weren't in a hallway anymore, but in a cave instead.

Dwalin had been calling out to you after a while of running through the cave-like hallway. But the thing was, he didn't sound angry anymore. 

He sounded worried, desperate even, which was very much out of character for Dwalin, to be honest...

Sadly, you hadn't had the time to realize why Dwalin acted the way he did before you dropped down a hole in the floor with a yelp. At least you found out why he was so concerned.

What a great day...

*(*)*(*)*

A short cry reverberated throughout the chamber, and a high pitched voice followed after.

"Could you be more gentle!?"

You glared at Dwalin, who like always, grunted his replies instead of talking like a normal Dwarf-being!

Though he did what you asked and rubbed the ointment on your bruises more gently, which felt like heaven on your sore skin...

You felt absolutely stupid, sitting on a wooden bench with Dwalin treating your bruises and wounds. (Oin was too busy to do it himself so he shoved ointment in Dwalin's hand. The other was holding you at that moment, for Dwalin wouldn't allow you to walk yourself. Oin said that Dwalin should do it before promptly leaving.) Dwalin had to pull you out of the hole, though he spoke more words than he had said to you this entire day. You counted that as a victory.

You still felt your heart flutter every time you thought about it: He had been extremely gentle, lifting you out of the hole with both his arms. Cradling you to his chest while muttering in dwarvish. Checking all over your body before caressing the back of your head and pressing it against his shoulder as he held you close. This time, you understood his mumbles: "Thank Mahal, yer safe," his voice was so quiet, wavering with raw emotion;

"never do anything like that ever again, ya hear me."

Dwalin was still shirtless and covered in glue and feathers during the entire ordeal.

Your heart had skipped multiple beats right then and there, cheeks flushed red. You had been trying to process those words the entire way to Oin. Still trying to figure out the meaning behind the words he uttered with such intensity.                

You were brought out of your trance by Dwalin tapping on your shoulder, you looked over to see him staring at you, "Lift yer left foot."

You did as he asked, lifting your foot. Dwalin grasped it gently in one hand as he removed the boot delicately. If this was in a different situation, it would have been very intimate. No, wait, scratch that; it's intimate even now, which was not good for your heart, which was doing summersaults inside your chest. Yep, you were screwed...

So badly, and heavenly screwed. 

Yet you couldn't find it in yourself to really mind.

Once Dwalin removed the boot and sock, he started to massage your foot with ointment, muttering to himself. "Why did ya let yerself be dragged in the princes' pranks."

It wasn't a question, but you answered anyway, "Those princes made me promise to help them out when I was drunk- don't look at me like that Dwalin! You know I never break promises, even if I made them while I was drunk."

He averted his eyes, stilling his ministrations slightly. "Ya need to learn to say no."

His voice was almost too soft to hear, but you did.

You huffed in return, "I'm getting better at it though! I said no to Fleder-Fledder something when he tried to get me to marry him!"

Dwalin chuckled, "Aye ya did. Ya kicked him good in the nuts."

"Well, he deserved it, I didn't even know him and wouldn't take no for an answer, so I had to make it clear." 

You grinned at Dwalin as he shook his head, a smirk on his face.

Your eyes turned soft, remembering how Dwalin had positioned himself between the man and you when the man tried to grab you by the neck. Your hero had glared at the man fiercely, threatening to gut him with his axe if he didn't take the hint and shove off.

The man had pissed himself before he had sprinted off, too scared to utter a single word.

You had hugged Dwalin to thank him and since then, he only acknowledged you with grunts... That was the day before the feast.

Balin had said not to take it personally, that Dwalin needed time to sort himself out. But damn was it hard to not take it to heart.

"Why did you do it?"

The dam broke, spilling your most inner thoughts. Fumbling with your fingers, you stared at the ground, missing the confused look on Dwalin's face. "What?"

"Why did you ignore me after I hugged you?"

You were not gonna beat around the bush with this one. You made your bed, and now you need to lie in it.

"You didn't acknowledge me for three days. Balin said to give you space, so I did. But damnit Dwalin, you ignored me for three days! Why?"

You didn't mean for your voice to crack when you looked him in the eyes. You didn't mean for the tear to slip past. Dwalin's eyes widened in return. Very slightly, but you noticed. He averted his gaze to the ground for a second, placing your foot down gently and then looked up into your eyes. 

"I...I got confused," he began, eyes full with emotions, some you couldn't even place. "I got confused...Emotions which I thought I had buried deep down, long ago resurfaced..." you blinked. Were his eyes getting glassy? 

"They resurfaced tenfold. I didn't know what to do or think… I didn't think," he grabbed your hand in his delicately, tracing the skin with his thumb, never taking his eyes off you even once. "I threw up my walls in a panic, I shouldn't have, but I did..." he took in a deep breath. "Hurting those dear to me." Dwalin pressed his lips against your hand, it was gentle and soft. Butterflies fluttered inside your stomach.

"Y/N, lass, I truly regret putting ya through such pain. Could you forgive this fool of a dwarf?" He whispered, staring at you with pleading eyes.

You did what everyone would do in this situation.

You hit him on the head and yelled, "you idiot!!" and slapped against his chest multiple times. "I thought you hated me...!" Dwalin grabbed you by the waist and raised you into the air without much problem. He stared into your eyes with passion as he uttered one word.

"Never."

The two of you were only a small length apart. Without hesitating, you closed the distance, pressing your lips against his. He passionately returned the kiss, both of you closing your eyes as you relished the feeling of each other.

Yeah, you were on cloud nine alright. The touch of Dwalin's hands holding you so gently set your skin aflame. You could get used to this.

Parting to gasp for air, you glanced at Dwalin's face. Eyes lidded, and mouth slightly open. You smirked then, leaning in, you brushed your lips lightly against his.

He groaned in return. 

"Yer doing things to me, lass," he pressed his head against yours, his eyes soft as he looked at you. "Be mine?"

You only nodded, leaning in for another kiss to seal the promise.

Yeah, today was a great day...

~~~~~

Thank you for reading! And keep soaring high!^^

Hobbit taglist

@that-place-called-middle-earth​ @an-adventureland​

Forever taglist

@theincaprincess​ @strongholdinthedark​

Sora’s Rambles!

If you are on a tag list of a fandom or requested something you will get notified for Sora's rambles. When I'm working on that fandom or request, i will post little ramblings about the story I'm working on, a sort of teaser if you will. If you don't want to be notified on Sora's rambles please let me know^^

[mymoodwriting]

Perfect Love

Bang Chan/Jisung, Bang Chan/Felix, Felix/Jisung

Genre: Yandere AU

Warning: Collar, Electrocution, Medication, Pills, Needles, Sedatives

Words: 2.2K

Chapters:

One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten | Eleven | Twelve | Thirteen | Fourteen | Fifteen | Epilogue

Prompt: When Jisung started dating Chan it was a lot of fun, but that’s all it was and he wanted more. It was a mutual break up, or at least he thought it was. He had no idea what Chan was capable of, that is until he finally went to his house, carried into it actually. A second chance at love is entirely out of his control, and he might not have been the first of Chan’s lovers to be in this position.

       Jisung sat at the kitchen table, trying to make himself as small as possible. He was still shaking a bit from what had happened but he was focused enough to understand his surroundings. His hand reached up and he tugged at the collar around his neck, biting his lip when his actions caused the collar to shock him. He heard laughter, someone vaguely amused by his attempt to free himself.

       After he had calmed down from his nightmare Chan had placed that collar on him. It had been decided that the only way he’d be allowed upstairs for the time being was with that collar. It would only shock him if he tried to remove it or if he stepped outside the house perimeter, which included the backyard but not the front. The collar would give him a small warning shock, but if he pushed it the voltage would increase gradually until he passed out.

       He looked up at the person setting the table, Felix, who seemed much better. He felt bad for having scared him earlier, although the fact that he had been frightened was unsettling. Jisung then looked over at Chan who was finishing up preparations for their rather late breakfast. He felt pathetic crying in his arms earlier. His whole situation was really starting to stress him out and crying to him probably boosted his ego.

     Despite his questions he didn’t say what had scared him, he didn’t wanna divulge that kinda information, he didn’t need his captor knowing what made him vulnerable. Once breakfast was set, Felix took his seat but Chan went over to a cabinet, rummaging around and walking over to them with a pill bottle in hand.

 “Time to take your medicine.”

       Chan first approached Felix playing with his hair then gently tilting his head back, the boy eagerly opening his mouth and took the pill. His good behavior was rewarded with a kiss on the cheek. His eyes then locked with Jisung.

 “Are we going to be a good boy like Felix here or are we gonna have a problem?”

       Jisung didn’t answer, instead doing his best to keep his mouth shut. Chan was clearly disappointed, coming over to him and forcing his lips to part. The boy tried to struggle but he was easily overpowered. He was given the medicine, forced to swallow before he was let go. Despite his misbehavior he was also given a kiss.

 “Good boy.”

       Whatever he had taken didn’t kick in for a while, but it wasn’t noticed. He pretended that everything was fine. Felix was very happy, so he acted that way too, figuring that’s what the medicine was for. He really hated that Chan was a pretty good cook, that is until he realized there was a chance the food was laced with something. He quickly lost his appetite after that, saying he was full, he was believed.

 “Felix, can you water the plants, and take Jisung with you.”

 “Oh yay! I can show you the garden.”

       Felix eagerly took his hand and took him out to the backyard. He had been nervous about going out because of the collar, but when nothing happened he remembered he was safe in the backyard, it was the front yard he wasn’t allowed in. Felix kept a hold of his hand as he pointed out all the different plants around the garden.

       Chan had stayed inside, opting to clean up the kitchen. He had his plants that he used for work, and he also grew some vegetables and flowers. Felix grabbed the hose, watering the plants and splashing Jisung with some water after a while to cool him down. By then the medicine had kicked in, Jisung a giggling mess like before. He laid down in the grass, eyes closed, enjoying the sunlight. He used to be so busy during the day he could never really enjoy the sun.

 “So pretty.”

       Jisung opened his eyes to see Chan standing above him, taking pictures. The boy removed his collar to take a few more pictures. He didn’t even register the fact that Chan was holding his phone. The other laid down next to him, pulling him close for a picture, then telling Felix to join in so they could have a group photo he could frame for later.

 “Maybe we should post your picture Sungie, let your friends see how pretty you look.”

 “What about the other pictures?”

 “Those are just for us.”

 “Okay. Oh, what about Felix?”

 “I don’t have any social media.” Felix said, snuggling against Chan’s other side. “Got rid of it a long time ago, don’t need it. I just use Chan’s phone and accounts if I ever wanna browse.”

 “Oh… should I still keep mine?”

 “For now, yes.” Chan said. “What should the caption be?”

 “Um… how does ‘soaking up the morning sun’ sound?”

 “Lovely.” He added hashtags and posted it. “Now, got some news for you boys.”

 “What is it?” Felix asked.

 “I’m gonna be out tonight.”

 “Another party.”

 “Yup, which means early bedtimes for both of you.”

 “Awe, can Jisung sleep with me?”

 “I don’t think so, he’s still in trouble for earlier.”

 “Right… next time.”

 “Yeah, maybe next time. I gotta get ready for tonight, so keep yourselves busy for a while okay.”

 “Jisung and I can watch a movie.”

 “Alright but nothing scary, I don’t want either of you having nightmares cause of it.”

 “We won’t, come on Jisung.”

       He waited until Chan put the collar back on, then took the others hand and took him upstairs. Felix always preferred to watch movies in the bedroom, he let Jisung pick, running back down to get some popcorn and drinks. He loved watching movies in the bedroom, so much more space to cuddle.

 ♥♥♥♥♥

       Chan stayed in the basement for most of the day, preparing his product. Felix came down to check on him and brought him something to eat, he was still watching movies with Jisung upstairs. He was glad the two were having fun. When it was around time for him to head out he went up to get them ready for bed.

       Since he had left them alone practically all day, he wasn’t surprised to walk in and see that neither of them was actually watching the movie that was playing. Instead Felix had Jisung pinned under him, the two kissing, hair and clothes a mess.

 “And what might this be?”

       Felix jumped up and rolled off Jisung very quickly. The two boys looked away from Chan, blushing. He laughed.

 “I’m not mad, you two are quite cute together. Did you do anything else?”

 “No…” Jisung shyly admitted. “We just… started.”

 “You wanna join?”

 “Oh, I’d love to but I have to cut this short, it’s time for bed.”

 “Awe, bedtime already?” Felix whined.

 “Yes, yes it is. We can all play some other time. Go shower, I’ll take Jisung.”

 “Okay, good night Jisung.”

       Felix kissed Jisung’s cheek, the boy blushing a new shade of red, and went to shower. Chan took Jisung down to his room, having him take a shower too and drying him off. He dressed the boy for bed, grabbing the syringe he had on the table, Jisung holding his arm out.

 “Oh no, you’re bedtime medicine goes elsewhere.”

 “Oh…”

       Jisung tilted his head to the side. He still wasn’t comfortable with needles, especially when he was mellowed out and he was very open with his emotions. He grabbed Chan’s arm for comfort, getting a kiss for his good behavior.

 “Sweet dreams.”

       He tucked the boy in and headed out, making sure the door was locked. After he put his things away and grabbed what he needed from the lab he lingered outside of Jisung’s room. He texted Changbin, saying he would be over in a bit, just needed to get his boys to sleep. A while after he heard Jisung screaming. He checked the time then went upstairs, locking the basement door too. Felix was already sitting in bed when he got to the room.

 “How’s Jisung?”

 “Good. I want you sleeping with your headphones tonight okay.”

 “Okay.”

       Felix presented his neck, giggling when he felt the needle, then grabbing his headphones from the nightstand drawer. Chan laid him down and tucked him in, giving him a goodnight kiss. He heard Jisung scream again, detouring to the kitchen and putting out some medicine for a sore throat before heading out.

 ♥♥♥♥♥

 “And there’s the man of the hour, what’s new?”

 “I told you it’s not ready yet.”

 “Couldn’t even bring a sample.”

 “Maybe if you had asked nicely.”

       Chan was greeted with a beer by Changbin, the host of tonight’s festivities. The place was already pretty lively with the music blasting through the speakers.

 “You’re late you know.”

 “I had to get the boys in bed first.”

 “Boys? When did you get another?”

 “Jisung and I got back together.”

 “For real, that’s awesome. How’s Felix dealing with it.”

 “Caught the two making out before I left.”

 “Very happy then.”

 “Yup.” Chan took a sip of his beer. “You should come over, Felix’s been wanting to see you.”

 “Why don’t you throw a party then? Make it fun for everyone.”

 “Not yet, if I did I’d have to keep Jisung in his room.”

 “Oh, you’re doing that with him too then, is he okay?”

 “He will be.”

 “Then I’ll stop by sometime this week, I’ll tell the others too, we need to talk about business.”

 “Good point, I do need to ask Jeongin for a favor. Didn’t he recently move in with a friend?”

 “Yeah, some guy named Seungmin.”

 “That guy better not get Jeongin in any trouble.”

 “Don’t you mean Jeongin should keep him out of trouble?”

 “I said what I said, the little rascal is trouble.”

 “And he’s our responsibility.”

       The rest of the night went on without any issue. He was cleaned out pretty quick, money staying with Changbin for the time being. He enjoyed himself, missing the fun he used to have with Jisung at parties, but he was quick to remember he had the boy at home, safe and sound and happy, which brought a smile to his face. When morning hit he started paying more attention to the time.

 “I gotta get going, Chang.”

 “Already? Come on, stick around for a bit more.”

 “I need to get going man, text Jeongin for me. My house this week.”

 “Got it, tell Felix and your other boy toy hello for me.”

 “His name is Jisung!”

 “I know, now get out of here.”

       When Chan got home the house was pretty quiet. He went upstairs to check on Felix first, the boy still fast asleep, then went down to see Jisung. He walked into the room to see Jisung curled in bed, shaking. He kneeld down and caressed the boys cheek for a bit, he had worked up a sweat, then gently shook him to wake him.

 “Sungie…”

       Jisung’s eyes shot open, taking a deep breathe. His eyes were hazy, still shaking. Chan helped him sit up but the boy leaned against him, hugging him like before, his shaking getting a little worse. He smiled and cradled the little one’s head, rocking him again and patting his back softly.

 “It’s okay, I’m here for you, I got you.”

 ♥♥♥♥♥

 “Cute.”

       Minho commented on Jisung’s latest post as he stepped out of the elevator. He had some takeout in hand, walking over to his friend’s apartment, knocking on the door.

 “Jisung, open up!” He knocked again. “Come on, I didn’t see you at work, guessing it’s your day off.”

       There was no response even after the fifth attempt. If he got any louder he’d disturb the neighbors.

 “You’re really gonna make me do this.”

       He put down the takeout and reached for his keys. Jisung had given him a spare key to the apartment in case he ever lost his or Minho needed a place to crash and didn’t wanna go home.  Minho threw the door open once it was unlocked.

 “Jisung, I got your favorite.” Minho stopped when he noticed how empty the place was. “Jisung?”

       He put the food down on the table and started looking around the apartment. The bedroom was empty, not even a bed frame. There was little furniture around, the fridge was empty, all personal decorations gone. He grabbed his phone, calling Jisung, but the call didn’t go through, the number apparently unavailable.

 ♥♥♥♥♥

 “So… you think something is wrong?”

       Minho was at a cafe with his friend Hyunjin, staring at Jisung’s most recent photo. The sound of the other slurping down his drink frustrating him.

 “This is serious!”

 “Dude calm down, so he moved out of his apartment and forgot to tell you, no big deal. Just call him.”

 “You think I haven’t already tried? His phone is disconnected or something. Don’t you think that’s weird?”

 “Unless he got a new phone and forgot to tell you too. You guys aren’t attached at the hip you know.”

 “He would have messaged me.”

 “Moving takes time, maybe he was gonna tell you when he was settled in and not dead tired.”

 “Maybe…”

 “He’s fine, don’t worry too much or you’ll start getting ideas.”

 “Oh yeah? Like what?”

 “Like he doesn’t want to be your friend anymore, or he’s been kidnapped.” Hyunjin laughed. “Just don’t do anything stupid that’s gonna end up embarrassing him.”

 “Yeah…” Minho stared down at the picture again. “Yeah he’s probably fine.”

[justafewsmallsteps]

The Look Up Setup

For PST, it’s still 12/30 so here’s my technically on time @inusecretsanta gift for @moongoddesslee​ ! Hope you enjoy this college grad AU. 

Prompt: InuKag Mistletoe Shenanigans Title: The Look Up Setup Word count: 4759 Rating: T

He wasn’t exactly happy to be here, but he’d somehow gotten roped into it by his classmates, the conniving jerks. He didn’t go to these stupid things, and everyone knew it. It was a goddamn conspiracy!

Of course Sango knew that when she orchestrated the class party, making a big deal of asking him right after asking Kagome. Then there was that stupid Secret Santa idea. Of course he “just so happened” to randomly pull Kagome’s name out of the hat. Sango’s smug smile and Miroku’s wicked grin told him everything he needed to know. He couldn’t skip out if she was going to be there and he was in charge of her gift. Never mind that he totally could if he wanted to! He could have stayed home tonight instead of being here in this stupid karaoke room with over a dozen of them. It was loud and obnoxious. He couldn’t wait to get out of here. That’s why his legs wouldn’t stop bouncing anxiously up and down. It had nothing to do with her, and when she’d be here, and if she was coming, and if this whole thing was a fucking mistake because what if she didn’t even show up, and if she’d even like the gift he picked out for her.

It’s not like he spent hours roaming around the mall for her. Never mind that he hated the mall.

Inuyasha did his best to shove himself as far into the vinyl seat as possible.

God, what if Kagome never even showed up? He should never have let her get to him like this. They were just supposed to be classmates, nothing more. It didn’t matter how often she smiled at him, or greeted him as he walked in, or slowly wormed her way into his life. This was what happened when you let people get to you! You turned into a dope!

When the door opened for a fifth time, he couldn’t help but turn to look. Pathetic. It was the server with their drinks, because who else would it be? He watched as everyone grabbed their glasses from the table, several of his classmates already on their way to a decent buzz. Great, just what he needed, a bunch of drunk college grad students slurring around him and babbling about the historical inaccuracies in the latest hit Edo-drama. That’s what he got for going for his Masters in Social Studies.

Miroku took a seat next to him and swung his arm around his shoulder, well into his second beer. Not enough to get him drunk, but just enough to set him looser than usual, which, from knowing the guy, was plenty more than Inuyasha wanted to handle. He wondered if he’d have to slump him over his shoulder by the end of the night. He didn’t fucking plan on it.

“Inuyasha! Nice to see you pal! Glad you could make it!” He jostled him.

“What’s got you in such a good mood?”

“Who could be in a bad mood? We’re off for the holidays, New Year’s is just around the corner, and we’re done with that major research paper! As much as I loved comparative culture, I’m most joyous to reclaim my regular life away from my desktop.”

Okay, so even Inuyasha had to admit he could at least relate to that. For now he wouldn’t have to worry about being up at odd hours of the night doing research. As much as he liked his topic and was sure Kaede would too, he’d been antsy to just turn the damn thing in to get it over with. “Yeah, sure.”

“Oh come on. Get into the spirit! It’s Christmas! We’re at a party!”

He rolled his eyes in response. “There’s no reason to be so nervous, man!” Miroku teased with a smirk.

“Shut up!” Inuyasha sputtered.

He lowered his volume but playfully dug his elbow against his ribcage. “Kagome’ll be here soon enough, you rascal!”

His face felt like it went through a steamer. “Oi, I said shut yer mouth! What makes you think I’m waiting on her anyways?”

“Oh, I don’t know, the everything about you? And I bet I know why you’re extra on edge. Has to do with what’s in that box, doesn’t it?” Miroku gave a pointed look to the gift he’d tucked under his arm.

“Mind your business!”

“I understand,” he sighed, clearly ignoring him. “Finding the perfect gift for the perfect woman, it is no easy task. Whatever you get her is like a confession of your heart’s innermost thoughts. What you think of her, how you think of her.”

“And how would you know that?” Inuyasha deadpanned.

“From experience.” He turned his attention to his Sango.

“There’s no way you pulled her name.” “I may have done some talking and managed a trade.”

“That sounds more like you,” he deadpanned. Inuyasha paused, letting the words sink in. The gift would mean that much huh? “So, why’re you so calm about this whole gift exchange thing? What’d you get her?” he mumbled with a blush.

The door cracked open again, this time revealing exactly who Inuyasha had been waiting for.

“Ah, we’ll just have to wait and see. Nice talking to you!” Miroku gave him a wink and hard pat on the back as he stood up. “Kagome, welcome!” he greeted.

Wait and see, what could that mean? Inuyasha watched the man with a confused stare. God, knowing that pervert he might’ve dared to gift her underwear or something equally distasteful.

“Sango, I’m sorry for being so late.” He turned to see Kagome smiling apologetically as she walked in. Her cheeks were flushed from hurrying in the cold.

“Don’t worry about it! I’m glad you’re here now. You should take a seat, order something to drink and heat up. Everyone’s already gotten started.”

She assessed the room, the Christmas-colored lights swirling around as a pair of guys sang a rock song while swaying arm in arm. “I see that.”

Miroku took the chance to talk. “If you’re cold, I was just warming up that seat there for you,” he offered, ushering her to where he had just been sitting next to Inuyasha.

Of course.

“Oh! Thank you.” Her eyes landed on Inuyasha just as she hovered next to him. “I’d like to sit here, if you don’t mind?”

“No!” he yelped.

Kagome froze.

“No, as in, I don’t mind!” Inuyasha corrected. “You can sit here, if that’s what you want. I don’t control you or anything. Do what you want!”  

She smiled shyly, and he felt doomed. He denied being nervous before, but now that she was sitting right next to him there was nowhere to escape. It was him, her, and the gift under his sweaty palm.

“Nice to see you, Inuyasha,” she offered a smile.

He stiffly nodded.

Sensing that was all she’d get for an answer for now, she took a few moments to get her bearings. “Looks like quite the party. Have you sung anything yet?” Kagome asked, removing her gloves and scarf before setting them over her purse.

He shook his head. “No.” God,would he ever be able to say more than a single word to her again?

“You planning on it?” She goaded. At least she was trying. She always did.

The least he could do was try and unravel his damn tongue. “Not really my thing,” he managed. Oh good. His ability to string a sentence together was coming back.

“Aw, you should. I bet you have a nice voice.”

He gave a dry laugh. “Yeah, no. More like a dying frog.”

She responded with a short giggle, the sound doing wonders to his anxiety.

With a smile he asked simply, “You?” But he didn’t need her to answer. He knew she had a good voice, as often as he’d make fun of her for sounding shrill.

She grinned, and he couldn’t tell if it made him feel more or less at ease. Just that he wanted the expression to stay pointed at his direction. “I’d like to sing, but not alone.”

“Gonna partner with Sango?”

“What about if I partner with you?” she suggested.

“Yeah, right.”

“Scared?”

He rolled his eyes. “As if.”

“Then you’ll duet with me?”

He wasn’t going to fall that easy. “I don’t think so.” She blinked her big eyes at him, pressing into his side and taking hold of his arm. “Please, Inuyasha?”

How? How did she have this effect on him? He knew it was just a power play. Like he’d cave in over nothing but the bat of her dark eyelashes, but damn if it wasn’t working. They’d been comfortable around each other since the near beginning, so it wasn’t like having her smooshed up against him was anything new. He had shaken her off a dozen times when he wasn’t in the mood for her antics. Never mind that he’d let her have her way a hundred times over. After a while it just felt like it natural.

But something was different lately. Something that felt deeper than their friendly dynamic. Something like crossing past the edge of what he’d grown comfortable with.

“We’ll see,” Inuyasha finally replied, his throat feeling awfully dry. Maybe a drink would do him some good after all.

She gave him this irksome look that was all cheeky, as if she’d won. He wanted to bring it up to argue, but settled for an annoyed glare as she snuggled right up against him with the song book. When’d it start feeling so right to be this cozy with a girl? Why the hell would someone like her even want to be close to him?

“I’ll pick us a good song, promise.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled. For a second there, he had forgotten to be nervous with her next to him. They were comfortable around each other most of the time anyways. They’d spent hours together in the library, gone out to eat after class, sent each other their papers to peer review. In her research paper Kagome had done some deep digging into an old myth her grandfather used to tell her about the Shikon no Tama. She told him that she used to take the old man’s stories for granted, but now that he was getting on in his years, she’d genuinely grown interested in exchanging tales with him. She fell in love with history, particularly Japanese history. Anything that wasn’t math, she once joked.

He knew her pretty well, so it wasn’t like it was anything new to be around Kagome. They were friends, and he was fine with that. At least, he had been until Miroku started putting it in his head that he should make a move. He’d convinced himself that he didn’t feel that way, and that even if he did, which he didn’t, it’s not like Kagome felt that way. So they’d stay as they were, with Inuyasha having to try harder and harder to convince himself that nothing was going to happen between them.

Flash forward to two weeks before school let out. The class had been deep into research and the best way to write up a comparative report. Kagome and he had been spending a lot of time together going over the best structure for the papers, spending hours together in the library helping the other with gathering sources, keeping motivated, or generally studying in companionable silence. It became their routine, and suddenly they were together during almost every spare moment. With things wrapping up for the year, Inuyasha had felt like he’d been on a good pace to get all his work done before the deadline, so he hadn’t been stressed. When Kaede dismissed the class for general questions or review, he and Kagome had decided they could chat in the back and he could tease her about how relaxed he felt about the whole thing— a trait she begrudgingly admitted she admired. She was the type to cram and procrastinate, after all.

“So how much help are you going to need writing this paper and reviewing for your finals? Going to call me at 6 AM again for another last minute cram session?”

He remembered her pout in response. “Oh, haha. Just admit it helped you too.”

“Sure, Kagome. Let’s pretend like it was mutually beneficial. Any excuse to hang around me.”

The accusation was sent lightheartedly, and he had expected her retort to come swiftly after. It didn’t though.

Instead she shuffled in place, finally admitting, “It’ll be weird for classes to be over. Kind of got used to the schedule.”

Their schedule. Shared nights over the phone, hours hanging together for school or for study breaks. With school on holiday and no impending assignments, they really had no excuse to keep seeing each other. If he was going to spend time with her over winter, it would have to be just because he wanted to.

He’d felt like the walls were suddenly closing in on them.

When Kagome asked him if he had any plans for the holidays, something hard went up his throat. She’d basically opened up the doors for him to ask her out officially, and he’d choked and barely answered out with a, “No.” When he didn’t follow up with anything, she tried to let him know that she’d also be free and all he said was, “Okay.”

God, he’d never forget the look on her face. Her eyes dropped down in disappointment while her mouth registered the smallest frown. She had left class that night without much of a farewell, and he practically banged his head against his desk.

When Sango made the announcement that they’d throw a party after exams let out, there was no part of him that was in the mood to go. That was, until Kagome accepted the invitation and he saw his second chance.

He had to make his intentions clear, Miroku warned. If he went on like this, Kagome was sure to get asked out by someone else eventually— like that annoying Hojo guy who worked at the coffee shop.

So he went, and he bought her a gift, and who could blame him if he caved in and sang a song with her? Anything to keep that sad look off her face.

“Who’s song is this?” one of the girls called out.

“Oh! That’s us!” Kagome grabbed his hand and led him to a stand. “Let’s go!”

Inuyasha didn’t care much for singing, but he knew he’d exaggerated about his voice. It wasn’t the worst, but on a normal occasion he’d never sign up to get in front of his classmates to make a show of himself. Here he was though, all for her. Sap.

At least it helped that by the time it was their turn, most people were happily drunk and cheering them on. He ignored his whooping classmates, Miroku in particular, and stared at the screen following Kagome’s lead. He did have to hand it to her for picking a good song for them. He gripped the microphone and sang along with the words on the screen. Kagome practically sent stars shooting from her eyes to hear his voice, and he couldn’t help the smile from shaping his mouth as he let the lyrics flow. They worked together well. They synched. He knew they would.

By the time they finished, he felt flushed and maybe even a little confident. Kagome was still beaming at him, and that had to be a step towards the right mood.

“Dying frogs don’t sound half bad, huh?” she goaded when they got back to their seats.

“You weren’t bad yourself.”

“I didn’t know you sang.”

He shrugged. “I used to sing when I was little. My mother liked it.”

Kagome knew that his mother passed away when he was a kid, so the intimate detail wasn’t lost on her. “You should sing more. I’d like it, too.”

He blushed. “Yeah, well… there’s not a lot of times I go out to karaoke or anything.”

“Maybe we could try again next time?”

This was it. There could be a next time! He could invite her to a next time!

He felt his throat drying up. No! Not again! He was just using his fucking voice to sing! There was no way it was leaving him now!

“Kagome,” he choked out.

“Hn?”

“I uh,” he could feel his lungs shriveling up.

“Okay everyone!” A voice took over from the microphone and the lights went on. They turned in unison to see Sango announce, “I think it’s time for the gift exchange! I’ll pull a name out of the hat, and if you’re the Secret Santa, go give your gift to them. Sound good?”

He gave her a helpless look, but Kagome didn’t seem to understand.

Everyone shuffled around, and Sango began the activity. It wasn’t a surprise that she was so organized, having experience teaching kids at her family’s dojo. She had that kind of authority that no one questioned. As she unfolded slips of paper, the exchange went on smoothly, but Inuyasha’s heart wouldn’t stop hammering.

“Ayumi!”

He’d just been ready to ask Kagome out and went mute. Was he relieved or pissed for the interruption? On one hand, he was choking. On the other, maybe he could’ve done it if he had another minute. Now it was gift exchange time, and Miroku’s words were swirling in his mind.

“Hoshino!” They watched as she lifted the tissue paper from a light blue bag and took out a knitted teal scarf. She seemed grateful for it, exclaiming how cute it was.

Was giving a gift to a girl that big of a deal? No, it wasn’t. Not normally. But this was Kagome, for crying out loud.

“Inuyasha!”

His name. Oh shit. His name. In all his panic, he’d forgotten that he’d actually be receiving some random gift as well.

From his left, he felt Kagome shift.

“Inuyasha?”

He turned to her, feeling like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Yeah?” he stammered out.

“I’m your Secret Santa.”

From behind her, Miroku gave an enthusiastic thumbs up. Of course. This was a two-way set up. He wished he had it in him to send a death glare, but Kagome was pressing a package into his hands.

“Red’s your favorite color, right?”

“Right,” he said, staring at the neatly wrapped rectangle in his hand.

“You know you have to open it, right?” Sango voiced.

Broken from his daze, he quickly tore the paper off the box. He slid up the wooden front and revealed three miniature swords. One bore a striking resemblance to the one passed down over generations through his family.

“It’s a set of pens that are shaped into different katanas. You know, since your focus was on weaponry and all,” Kagome explained.

“Just like my research topic,” he marvelled. They were perfect. “These are cool.”

“Yeah, and you don’t have to complain about borrowing my girly ones now.”

He gave her a toothy grin. “I guess I don’t. Thanks for this.”

“You’re welcome.”

Sango took it as her cue to move on. “Okay, next up is…” she unfolded the paper “Miroku!”

One of the more inebriated guys of the class, Hachi, rose up and ambled his way over. “I thought this would be the perfect gift for you,” he said, dropping a dark blue bag into his hands.  He slung his arm over Miroku’s shoulder to watch him open it.

Everyone laughed when he pulled out a headband, complete with mistletoe dangling down from the front.

Miroku wheezed. “It’s perfect!”

“Have to admit, I was worried you might have come with your own tonight.”

He immediately adorned it on his head and took a step forward with open arms. “I’m going to have to try out my gift! Anyone willing to help?” He pivoted. “Sango?”

“In your dreams,” she announced into the microphone, causing everyone to laugh harder. “Next!” Sango announced, effectively cutting him off.

The exchange went on, with more highs and a few thoughtful moments. Inuyasha waited anxiously to hear Kagome’s name get called. She got him a thoughtful gift, and he was glad he got the chance to give her something in return. He was gladder that it wasn’t something dumb like a mistletoe headband, though he had to say he’d gotten a kick out of that. Kagome was in stitches over it, because anyone else probably would have gotten him the same thing, given the opportunity.

When Sango pulled out her own name, Miroku leapt up.

“You’re kidding,” she deadpanned into the microphone, making everyone laugh.

“He cheated for it!” A girl named Natsuna claimed.

“Anything for you!” Miroku exclaimed. “But today, just this for you,” he said less boldly, handing her a box.

“Do I even want to know?”

He shrugged.

Sango sighed, and put the microphone down to open his gift. When she lifted the lid of the square box, she slapped her hand to her head. “No way.”

“Is it underwear?” Natsuna yelled, representing the ideas of just about everyone else in the room.

“I wouldn’t do that!”

With a defeated sigh, Sango lifted up a tiny bouquet to show everyone.

It took a few seconds for the class to put it together. The round green leaves and white berries matched the ones hanging from Miroku’s ridiculous gag gift.

“It’s mistletoe again!” Someone screamed.

“Oh my god. Of course it is.” Inuyasha slapped his own face.

“I knew he’d come with his own!” Hachi’s voice bolstered through the room.

“This one’s made of wool. Headband or no headband, Christmas or no Christmas, I’ve got backup. Anytime you’re ready, you just hold that above your pretty face and I’ll come rushing in!” Miroku claimed.

“What happens if I put it over my fist? Wanna come running then?” she suggested with a smirk.

“Why Sango, I’d never miss the chance to kiss the back of your hand.” He winked, wiping the look right off her face.

“Enough of this,” she said, snatching the microphone back up and pulling the last name. It was obvious she was done having the attention. “Last but not least, Kagome!” Sango announced. “Who got Kagome?”

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. As if they didn’t know. “I wonder,” he droned, turning to face the girl. If it wasn’t obvious before, it was at least a process of elimination. It was entirely possible that no one was keeping track though, since alcohol had made its way through just about everyone’s bloodstream by this point.

“You?” Kagome questioned with amused eyes.

“Who else?” He joked.

She responded with a shyer expression than he expected. “Yeah, who else?”

Looking at her big eyes again had him feel like jello. “R-right.” Great. His stutter was coming back. “Here.”

It didn’t take long for her to unwrap the small box, yet it felt like it was happening all too slowly. His heart hammered in his chest like rapid fire.

“We ended up having similar ideas,” he explained as she let out a small gasp.

“This is…”

“You said it resembled a pink pearl, right?”

She pulled out the necklace and stared at it in awe. “Just like my research topic,” she mimicked him saying earlier. “The Shikon no Tama.”

“Obviously not the real one.”

Just for a second they forgot about being in public, but reality came back to a crashing halt as the class started whooping around them, eager to get back on their high. “Damn Inuyasha, make the guys look bad!”

“That’s so sweet! I wish a guy got me something like that.”

Again, most of the room was hammered, but it did little to quell the embarrassment this time.

“Thanks,” Kagome managed, over the crowd.

He avoided her gaze, choosing to tack his gaze to the wall. “Welcome.”

With that, Sango declared the end of the game. The dim lights returned, and someone was already calling dibs on the next song. Everyone was returning back to their side conversations, but Inuyasha felt like all the unresolved tension from earlier hit him back like someone pressing unpause in a game.

“I think I’ll go to the bathroom and put this on there, where the light is better,” Kagome said to excuse herself.

Inuyasha blushed. “Oh. Sure.”

As he watched her disappear through the doors, he felt someone at his side. His instincts told him it had to be Miroku again. Obviously, he’d been right.

“A necklace, huh? Way to go there.”

“Mistletoe? Really?”

Again, Miroku shrugged. “Unlike you, I have a little more tact when giving personal gifts to women I like. That, and a grander scheme.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’ll just have to wait and see,” he repeated.

“The gift exchange is over. What are you talking about?”

“You should probably make your move,” he ignored him. “Kagome seemed to like your present, so now’s the chance. Otherwise you’ll have to wait until we get back, and who knows what could happen between now and then?”

“I was getting to it,” Inuyasha ground out, annoyed.

“You were getting nowhere.”

“Quit watching us!”

“Then go someone else, loser.”

“Like where? To the other side of the room?” he suggested sarcastically.

“Like, I don’t know, the hallway she’s about to travel through?”

But that would mean now. He froze.

“Yeah, that’s roughly what I thought would happen. Oh well, no time like the present, right? Ready?”

Before he knew it, the door opened and Sango walked in with her hand lifted in a thumbs up. The next second, Inuyasha was shoved out and left in the hallway as the door slammed shut.

“What the hell?” He was ready to swing it back open, but then he heard a voice.

“Inuyasha?”

“Kagome!”

Voice. Clamming.

She walked up to him. “Is everything alright?”

Trapped!

“I. Yeah. Just, you know.”

She gave him a quizzical look. “You look feverish. You sure you’re okay?”

He nodded, but Kagome took it upon herself to put her hand against his forehead to check.

“Definitely running a little warm.” When she backed up, a light caught his eye and drew it to her neck. So she’d put it on after all, huh?

When she caught him staring, Kagome’s cheeks tinged pink. “Thanks again for this. It was really sweet, and it means a lot to me.”

Inuyasha gulped. ‘Now!’ his brain told him.

“Kagome?” he tried once more.

“Yeah?”

He took hold of her shoulders to ground himself. “Would. I mean. You?”

Again, he was faced with her confusion.

“Me?”

How? How was she so pretty? So breathtakingly wonderful?

“For fuck’s sake.”

“Inuyasha?” she asked gently.

“I can’t do this,” he sighed, looking down.

“Just talk to me.”

“Talking’s the problem!”

“Then just look up,” she suggested.

“No, see that’s the other problem. I can’t look at you.”

“Inuyasha.”

“No! Everytime I look at you I just end up all stupid.”

“I think I know what you’re trying to do. At least, I hope I do. It’s okay if you can’t come up with the right words. Just look up and do what feels right.”  

“Kagome,” he whined. “I have to do this to let you know what I feel. But--”

“No,” she replied firmly, cutting him off, “You have to listen to me. Look up!” She grabbed his face by both cheeks and pushed it upwards towards the ceiling. As his eyes adjusted to the light, he squinted to focus on a familiar green blob right above them.

“What the--? Is that… the mistletoe Miroku got Sango?”

She let go of his face and nodded.

“I like you, Inuyasha. I really, really like you. How do you feel about me? I’ll accept whatever you answer with.”

As he stared at her, once again he felt his tongue grow heavy. What was it, a disease? He replayed her voice in his mind. Just look up and do what feels right… I’ll accept whatever you answer with.  

He gave a quick glance back up at the mistletoe. Okay.

He should stop looking into her eyes, he decided, so he closed his.

And words just weren’t going to make it out of his mouth, so he decided to do something else with it instead and pressed it right up against Kagome’s lips. It was the best he could muster for a confession in that moment.

And he swore, the second she kissed him back, she took all the breath he had and made it all right again.  

[cutegirlmayra]

Hey there~ it's me again. I read one of your sonamy future prompts ( featuring their children ) They all have wonderful names, but how did you come up with those names? As for me I always second guess myself when it comes to these things 😅

My sonamy fan children~

Journey (Youngest of 4, Power: Loud sonic boom cries.) was stolen (I literally saw someone’s art and saw the name and was like-)

That’s brilliant!!!

Her power though was original, and Sonic’s favorite thing about her is that she calls Amy “Chili-mama” Cause Sonic tried to get her first word to be Chilidog and Amy kept trying to teach her to say ‘mama’. The beautiful combination of that made her what she is, a bit of a silly but innocent baby. She gets kidnapped by Eggman when he remembers his life in a retirement home and smirks saying, “Bingo..” - “But Mr. Robotnik, you don’t have bingo.” - “Oh, trust me, my dear. I do~” and learns that Sonic has a family. But his metal-cyber brain takes over again and Sonic’s forced to remove it, leaving Eggman a old man with no memory but Sonic visits him as he nears the last stages of aging...

Journey has sonic boom cries based on the idea that her voice can travel passed the speed of sound, creating a ‘Hyper Voice’ effect. I also headcanon this makes her ideal for speaking super fast. She’s also magenta. (Again, following Genetic chart posts 1(x) 2(x))

But Speed, Freedom, and Rebel I made up entirely. Speed because all male hedgehogs in the Sonic universe starts with an ‘S’ so their video games would line up together on the game shelf. (True story from the officials) So I went with Speed thinking -from my genetics chart- At least one child may get super speed. 

Speed is born without Sonic present, who is still fighting Eggman and keeps his marriage to Amy secret. Speed grows up at first admiring Sonic but later resenting him, becoming a mama’s boy and training under Shadow. He has the potential to learn Chaos Control but can’t master it yet, because Shadow is immortal, he grows very close to Speed, as though like a master to student relationship but Speed wants it to be more. He tries to convince Shadow to woo his mother into leaving Sonic, but Sonic comes back just in time before Speed proposes the idea to Amy. Amy is faithful, obviously, and wants Speed to accept his father. Sonic is getting old and after putting Eggman in the home, decides it’s about time to get things right with his family. He hates being a stay-at-home dad but Amy works and he hasn’t found a job yet.

He trains Speed who can summon a Baki-Baki (Japanese sound effect for thumping something, hitting) Stick which is like a fighting stick/bow staff which is reminiscent of Amy’s Piko-Piko (Japanese Toy hammer sound when hit.) Hammer. He’s also light blue, like a turquoise.

He ends up taking over his father’s place as the world’s hero much later down in his character arc. Speed is also a romantic like Amy, he plays in a band (guitar, like Sonic’s underground years) and can’t help but fall in love with any girl he sees. Until he meets Sandy... of course~ (She’s based on Sandy from Greece, and is a cute guinea pig~<3 He’s a lot of girlfriends before this point, or at least a billion crushes.)

Freedom is based on Sonic’s brother’s green quills and how that could run in the family of Blue-Green genetics. so Freedom is a light green who loves race cars and works as an apprentice at TwinTail Industries owned by Tails. He helps Tails, even being so young as he is, the third youngest, to test-run his experiments or help learn about the “Inventions of the future!” He longs to be a racecar driver, like Sonic’s Racing years. 

He can manipulate wind, and this allows him to hover and fly even. (Maybe the start of Silver’s line? If I wanted to think more into that lol)

Rebel is much like her father in that she’s solitary, a little boy chases her around and is a gentleman to her at school and she doesn’t know how to think of it. She’s a darkish purple? And she can summon any weapon she can think of (Reminiscent of Amy’s power). She longs to be a hero too, but is more a punk attitude mixed with Amy’s Rascal side and ends up getting into “righteous mischief” where she does something good but people only see the consequences and bad results.

Amy tells her love stories which she pretends to hate but is actually quite interested if Amy includes adventure in the mix. She wonders how her father fell for Amy, but Sonic ends up telling her the story and it’s a super cute bonding moment! (She’s second to oldest in this timeline AU.)

----

Moving off of this ‘Future Sonamy’ timeline AU is Sonic and the Chaos Kingdom’s kid. (x)Fanfic, (x)Wattpad, (x)DA, (x)Archive. He also has his own bonus story of wooing Maria!

Skid, wearing a ‘flower crown’ cause he a soft boy~<3

Skid is a ‘sensitive’ boy, as in, he’s quite girlie. He loves girls and wants to marry them all to protect them cause he doesn’t think other boys will treat them right like he would. He’s a pacifist, due the prophecy on him as being the Prince to Bring Peace, and falls madly in love with Banished Prince Shadow’s illegitimate daughter, Maria.

He has the power to drift and is a light sky-blue hedgehog with a punk attitude towards his father, but a sweet boy demeanor to his mother.

----

Lastly, this Sonamy Children timeline is a darker one. One where Sonic has to go through a portal and may never return, to an alternate dimension where other versions of his friends are too to defeat Eggman who found his other-dimensional self was pathetic and defeated him, overwhelming the other Sonic Team. Sonic in that world has long since vanished, and he feels he has to go save that world.

To prove to Amy he isn’t returning, he elopes with her and gives her the last thing she’s ever wanted from him, but then leaves.

Not necessarily a love-child, Destiny Rose grows up not knowing why she has such a strong sense of justice and the need to fight against tyranny. Finally, Amy, on her sick bed, admits that when Sonic left, he gave her Destiny, and that Amy still believes he’ll one day return. (Although, she did marry a soldier, but he died in another war.)

Destiny also learns she has a brother, but is half a cyberman since the other dimensional Eggman escaped to this world. Little do they know that Sonic has actually returned... and meets Destiny, hearing about her brother and going to free him together.

They defeat this Eggman and the two Eggman's swap, but Sonic admits he was always faithful to his world’s Amy, not the other one. He sees Amy is bedridden and falls at her bedside, letting her know it’s not a dream and that their son is also safe.

The Son is half Cybernetic but is named Sonar, for his expert hearing and senses, he can’t be sneaked up on and can locate things really easily. He also has robot abilities! Haha.

That’s kinda a ‘apocalypse’ AU, lol

---

My last fan children are based on the idea that Eggman DNA spliced Shadow, Silver, and Sonic’s DNA into three children, who then all attach to Amy who helps them get rid of their (Rowdy Ruff Boys syndrome) bad behaviors and turns them to the light.

Shadow, Silver, and Sonic have to accept these new genetic hedgehogs: Boom (Sonic’s boy), Shade (Shadow’s Girl), and Sterling (Silver’s boy).

Amy protects the kids and teaches the ‘fathers’ how to accept and learn to love their new children.

That’s about all I can think of for them ^^ The other children I’ve created were at random for different stories. ~<3 Enjoy my headcanons!

[daydream-hobii]

Spots | Hybrid!Jungkook | Part 2

Genre: Hybrid!AU; Fluff; Angst

Pairing: Jaguar!Jungkook x Reader

Summary: Your parents treat hybrids for their animal part, as if they were below your feet just because they have ears and a tail, along with animal instincts. You’re leaving dinner after a heated argument, when you hear whimpering from an alley.

Warning: Mentions of Abuse; Some Gore; Phobic Parents

Word Count: 1,225

Part 1 // Part 3 [FINAL] //

Author’s Note: Due to popular demand, here is part 2!! ^_^ Thank you all so much for liking it, it really means a lot, and this has easily become my most popular post!! ^_^ Don’t you worry, there will be a Part 3, so stay tuned~ ^_^ Tell me what you think! I love hearing from you all~ ^_^

           You squeezed Jungkook’s hand softly before standing up to walk away. He held you back though, making you stare in concern.

           “Don’t let him trick you…” He whispered, making a shudder run down your spine. You nodded, walking out in time to see a stressed owner sighing in relief. He looked my way, smiling bright. He was charming… like a snake.

           “Thank you so much for finding my boy. God, he must’ve been so frightened,” He started, making you give a small smile back and nod.

           “Yeah. Tell me, how’d he get like that?” You questioned, squinting your eyes. The police listened in, eyeing the owner as well as talking to the doctor.

           “He escaped from my property again, the rascal. I’m not sure what happened to him,” He replied, frowning. “Please, may I see my boy.”

           “Not so fast, sir. We have quite a few questions before you can see the hybrid boy. You too, if you don’t mind,” He said, looking your way. You saw a darkness form behind the owner’s eyes but knew only you could.

           “Of course,” You said, looking to the door. “Can I tell him where I’m going?”

           “Oh, he won’t care,” The owner said, giving a snarling smile. You smiled back, squinting your eyes again.

           “Actually, he will. He’s clung to me, and I don’t want him to worry,” You replied, that dark look returning to the owner.

           “Of course,” The police officer said. You nodded in thanks before walking back into the room. Jungkook looked terrified, his jaguar ears twitching as he listened closely. His right arm was wrapped in a brace, and he couldn’t move it well, but he was rubbing it as if it made him nervous. Maybe it was a habit?

           “You didn’t believe him, did you? About me running away?” Jungkook said, a panicked look in his eyes.

           “No, of course not. Jungkook, I’ll keep my promise, but I need to go talk to the police,” You whispered, making him frown.

           “He’s going to win…. He always does,” He whispered, making you lean over and kiss his forehead.

           “Not this time,” You said back, leaving the room.

           You were in a conference room with both the police and the old owner, as well as the doctor. He was telling the police some sort of lie about how Jungkook was always a bad egg but that’s why he took him in, because no one else would.

           “I’m not convinced,” You said, leaning forward and squinting your eyes. You gained some confused looks from the police, and a slightly more dark one from the owner.

           “How come?” The officer conducting the interview asked.

           “Jungkook is terrified, has been since I found him. He was beaten with something, and his arm got broken. What stranger would do that without intention?” You asked, squinting your eyes.

           “Well, he has made his case,” The officer said, feeling bad.

           “Well, as a concerned citizen who is starting to care for the hybrid, I’m worried,” You replied, biting your lip.

           “It makes sense, you must have witnessed a terrible pain,” He said, turning to the officer. “Fortunately, his right arm has been broken before, and should heal faster.”

           “Wait,” You said, ears perking up. “Right arm?”

           “Yes,” He replied, squinting his eyes toward you.

           “How did you know that it was his right arm without seeing him?” You asked, smirking. The police officer looked towards him, glaring.

           “You said it earlier,” He replied, making you shake your head.

           “No, I just said his arm,” You said, smirking.

           “No, I must be mistaken,” The owner said, looking panicked.

           “That’s enough information for me. Take him downtown to file some paperwork, the hybrid isn’t going home with him,” The officer said, making the man slam his hands on the table.

           “He’s MY boy!” He shouted, making everyone surprised.

           “Well, now he is this lovely person’s,” The officer said, looking at you. “If you want, of course.”

           “Let me see what Jungkook wants,” You replied, keeping your eyes on the angry owner, who didn’t look away. “He does have rights, you know.”

           You went back to Jungkook’s room in a hurry, and when you walked in, he had his head in his hands and he was crying. You sighed, slowly walking over and sitting on his bed, making him jump and look at you with red, puffy eyes.

           “He’s taking me back, isn’t he?” He choked out, tears falling. “He always wins…. It happens every time.”

           “Kookie,” You whispered, making him perk up at the name. “Kookie? Is that a good name?”

           “My mom called me it when I was upset to calm me down,” He whispered, looking down. He grabbed your hand, playing with your fingers. “I’m pathetic, aren’t I?”

           “No, Kookie, no,” You replied, but he continued.

           “I’m so weak. I’m a jaguar hybrid that just cries when he’s hurt. I never fight back, and I’m always in the same position as I was the first time,” He choked, more tears falling. You grabbed his face, wiping his tears with the pads of your thumbs.

           “Kookie, you’re not going back,” You said quickly, making his eyes widen. “He messed up, you aren’t going back. Never call yourself weak, because you are one of the strongest people I’ve ever met.”

           “People?” He asked, giving a sigh. “I’ve only ever been called an animal….”

           “Well, you’re a person to me,” You whispered, giving a soft smile and letting go of his cheeks. “Jungkook, we need to talk about what you want to do.”

           “What are my options?” He asked. He looked more scared about that than anything you’ve said before.

           “Well,” You started, biting your lip. “You can choose to go to a shelter to be adopted by someone new or… you can come home with me, and I’ll adopt you.”

           “You’d really let me come with you?” He asked, eyes filled with hope.

           “Well, yeah,” You replied, giving a small smile. “I mean, we’ve already been through a lot together? Why not?”

           “Ca… Can I? Come home with you?” He asked, looking with such wide, innocent eyes, it filled your heart with love.

           “Only if you want to,” You said, smiling softly.

           “Yes, I’d love to!” He shouted, tears disappearing in an instant. He tried to jump up with joy, but you placed your hands on his shoulders to keep him down, giggling.

           “Don’t hurt yourself worse, Kookie,” You said, smiling bright. “The doctor said you could leave. Why don’t we go stop at a store before heading home to get you some clothes for tonight?”

           “There’s a shop open this late?” He questioned, surprised.

           “Yeah, a couple, but not a lot. We’ll get enough clothes for tonight and tomorrow and go back out, okay?” You asked, making him nod quickly. “Okay, let me go finish all the paperwork, and we can leave.”

           You kissed his forehead, causing him to close his eyes and purr slightly. You smiled as you walked towards the door, but before you could exit, Jungkook stopped you.

           “Y/N,” He called, making you turn around. “Thank you,” He whispered, nodding. “for saving me.” You smiled, biting your lip and nodding before exiting. You leaned against the door, your heart beating fast. Why did you care about him so much all of a sudden? Maybe only time will tell….

[calucadu]

A yordle adventure - Chapter 1

A yordle adventure, a League of Legends Fanfic. Chapter 1.

Hey! It’s @rosegoldmagnum’s birthday today!! So I decided to upload the first chapter of this story that's been lying around my computer unfinished for a while now and dedicate it to her since she liked it! Not only is her art really good, she's also an amazing person ❤ So go wish her a happy birthday and follow her on tumblr and twitter! Happy birthday hun! I hope you like my little gift to you :)

Summary: Rumble, Tristana, Teemo, Heimerdinger, Lulu and Veigar go on the adventure of their lifetimes!

Characters: Rumble, Ziggs, Tristana, Teemo, Heimerdinger, Lulu, Veigar

Rating: Teen and up

Next chapter (coming eventually)

Read on AO3

Or read below the cut

I pulled my gloves off with my teeth and got up to look around me.

“It’s perfect. No mechanical failures. Fuel tank’s full, everything’s ready. We can leave.”

The other yordles started cheering in excitement and mounted the ship as quickly as they could. I watched them as I grabbed my tool box from the floor and followed them into what would be my home for the next few months.

I sighed as I watched them place their last remaining things in their rooms before I went to mine. Everything was untouched. The bed was made, the white linen nearly too bright in comparison with the rest of the room. The clothing I had chosen had been already put in the wardrobe and my gadgets and personal stuff had been placed around the room, maybe to make me feel more at ease, more at home.

I sat down and put my head in my hands. We’d leave soon and I didn’t know how that made me feel. I laid down on the bed and looked at the ceiling. The alarm stood there, staring right back at me. During my training, I’d had to live with that infernal thing waking me up at random hours in the middle of the night, to prepare me in case there was an emergency on board the ship.

That’s the reason why I was the only one sleeping alone. No bunkbed. No roommate. All alone. Just as it has always been, I thought, taking a long breath and finally getting up, as I heard footsteps approaching.

“Hey, Rumble. You all set?” Tristana asked, poking her head around the door.

“Yeah, you?”

“Everyone’s ready. It’s time to say our goodbyes and then take off. You wouldn’t wanna miss me pilot this baby, huh?” She opened the door for me and started walking in front. I’m positive I saw her wiggle her hips as she did, which made me frown.

I’d stopped having feelings for Tristana.

I don’t want this sounding weird, but it’s probably the best thing that’s happened to me since joining the League. No love, no regret, no jealousy, no sleepless nights thinking about her, no pathetic, stupid feelings.

She knew it, as well, which was just as good. It meant occasional teasing, but at least we were back to being friends.

I nearly ran after her, noticing I was the last one to get off the ship. Some of the League champions were there to send us off. I spotted Ziggs, who quickly came up to hug me tightly.

“Oh, Rumble, man, I’m gonna miss ya, buddy!” He grunted, squeezing me a little too much for a little too long.

I wheezed and he realised I needed to breathe.

“Oh, yeah, heh, heh, sorry.” He let me go and I smiled at him, air finally in my lungs again.

“Imma miss you too, bud.”

“But you’ll have a blast!” He screamed, not controlling the tone of his voice due to his excitement. He started laughing nervously after that but was quickly pulled into a hug by Tristana.

“Ziggs! See ya soon, you rascal!”

“See you too, Trist! You’re going to make a fine captain, and an even better pilot!” My best friend then saw my face. “Oh, and make sure Heimy is extra nauseous, please! Just for our enjoyment.”

“You won’t even be there, silly! Anyway, I’m going to say my goodbyes to the rest of the champs, have fun Ziggs and good luck with the matches!”

“You too, Tristana! Have a safe journey!”

They hugged one last time as I watched and then his gaze finally returned to me.

“I really hope you were on this trip with me.” I muttered, trying to make my voice not sound too sad.

“Yeah, I know. They probably thought I was too dangerous or something.”

“Ziggs, you’re a fire hazard.”

“No, I’m the bomb!”

“Which is equally scary.”

The two of us laughed, sharing what would be our last moments together in months. Slowly the laughter died down and I looked at my paws, embarrassed.

“I’m going to be stuck alone with Darty and Afro-for-Brains without you, Ziggs.”

“And I’m going to be stuck alone with Jinx the maniac without you, buddy. But you’ll be having tons of fun on that ship, just you wait! You might score…” He winked at me and I rolled my eyes.

“I told you I don’t li-!”

He cut me off. “Yeah, yeah, you don’t like her anymore. There’s another chick on board, dude. And you never know. Months stuck together, anything can happen!” He nudged me slightly and shot me a full toothed grin at me.

“Ziggs!” I grunted, narrowing my eyes.

“I was just joking Rumble! Anyway, you try to have fun, okay?”

“Okay.” I said, smiling at him. He’d actually made me feel better without knowing it. “Hey Ziggs, can I ask a favour?”

“You want me to take care of Tristy for you, right?”

“Right. You don’t mind?”

“Nope. I’ll just check on her from time to time. Make sure she’s got enough oil and she’s running about in her wheel.”

“Ziiiiiiggs!” I whined, but laughed with him, rubbing my knuckles against his head tenderly.

An alarm went off, similar to the one that woke me up every day and my ears twitched.

“Alright crew! Everyone on the ship now!” Tristana yelled and I pulled Ziggs into our last hug.

We said goodbye and I smiled at him. He grinned back, waving energetically.

“If I don’t come back, burn all my stuff!” I yelled to him as I entered the ship and my view of him was blocked by Lulu, who prevented me from being able to have a look at his face after my comment.

“Crew check!” Tristana smiled as we formed a line in front of her. She walked, naming our ranks and nodding at us. “Scout. Head Scientist. On board Mechanic. Healer. Ahm.” She stopped at Veigar. “Guest?”

“You FOOL!” He screamed back, his yellow eyes more menacing than before, shinning brighter somehow. “How DARE you insult me?”

“But Vei-Vei! She didn’t insult you!” Lulu started waving her hands in front of the other yordle, as if trying to protect the captain from the rage of the one with the hat.

“Do NOT call me Vei-Vei!” He screeched and they both run away, the female yordle following him as he entered his room.

Maybe I should go back a few months, when the project was first thought of. Teemo had been on one of his missions when he’d found a map with directions to a land where only small creatures could go to. For some reason, the League Tribunal were all over it and decided they could make millions with this opportunity. So, they assigned me, Rumble, to be the Head Mechanic, gave me ten yordles to work with me and we started building this ship. And I mean, as big as this project was to my career, it was no Tristy. And there’s nothing in this world like my mech. Tristy will always be my baby, even after she got destroyed and I had to make Tristy 2.0, who will always be my baby as well.

Anyway, I set to work, and you know what, with nearly limitless funds you can make a decent ship. It pained me to admit there was a huge difference between my scrapyard mech and the biggest thing I’ve ever seen yordles build. And you know the best bit? It was all me! The blueprints? Mine. The ideas for the material? Also mine. I knew all her secrets, her little weaknesses (yeah, she had some) and the little touches I’d made for her, like the weapons I had added to her kit.

Yeah, she was a Rumble design alright.

But, I was also assigned to be the on board mechanic. Just in case something went wrong. Which, you know, was good. I’d have something else to do and I would be doing what I like best. But, on the other hand, it meant dealing with Teemo and Heimerdinger all day long, for who knows how long, as they’d been assigned Chief Scouter and Head Scientist respectively. I still huff at the decision. On a side – but good – note I’d been assigned Scientist as well, so my decisions were also relevant, so it wasn’t all bad.

But, for some strange reason, one day, we were told Veigar would be on the mission too. I had to plan an extra space for Heimerdinger, as the other members in the ship weren’t comfortable with the Tiny Master of Evil being unsupervised and Teemo was made his bunkbed roommate. Ironic, huh?

Lulu was also there mostly for him, just in case. But the League Tribunal had really insisted on having him on the expedition. They told us in secret that he was a valuable asset if something were to happen and that he’d been in the League for years and nothing had happened. But some of us still weren’t convinced, and for once, I agreed with Teemo: something was going on.

So, Lulu and Tristana shared a room, Teemo and Veigar another, Heirmendinger had to sleep in a bed I’d added to his on-board lab and I had my own quarters to myself.

“I mean, he is kinda like a guest” Whispered Teemo, smiling faintly at Tristana. “Don’t worry about it Trist, he’ll get over it.”

The Gunner grinned back at him and hurried to the control panel.

“Alright everyone! Hold on tight!” She sat down and put her seatbelt on. She started flicking switches on and then hit the clutch and accelerator. The noise of the engine purred, making the hair on the back of my head stand up. “We’re gonna LIFT OFF!”

She was a bit unstable as we took off, but soon enough she was soaring high in the sky, making me extremely proud of my ship. I smiled for a good ten minutes while the other yordles were still getting used to it.

Finally, Tristana was able to switch the autopilot on and she hopped out of her seat, a broad smile on her lips as she addressed me.

“Rumble, this baby’s incredible!” Her hand rested on my shoulder and our gaze met. I felt all warm and fuzzy for a few seconds before she removed her paw and looked at the rest of the crew, well, the ones that were still at the cockpit. I couldn’t help but smirk at the fact that Heirmendinger had waddled off, possibly to be sick.

All the yordles were summoned and the Captain started talking.

“Anyway, we’ve been over this a thousand times before we left, but let’s go over the rules once more.” Tristana said, eyeing each of us. I noticed she avoided looking at Veigar.

“Whose turn is it to cook first?”

“Oh, mine! Mine!” Lulu giggled, raising her hand in the air. “I’m going to make purple lasagne!”

I stared at her in disgust as she laughed and clapped enthusiastically.

“We might change the cooking turns…” I heard Tristana mutter, looking down at her papers.

“And then it’s my turn to wash up.” Teemo piped in.

“I cook dinner tonight.” I cracked the joints of my paws as I said it and Heimendinger looked at me in disgust.

“I wash up.” The Scientist spoke, his eyes still on me. We shared a gaze of mutual hatred for half a second, before he turned to look at the Captain.

“Good. Nice to hear you all know your chores. I will be hanging the ‘Chore Chart’ in the cockpit for the next few weeks. Are we clear?” She asked.

We all muttered in agreement and we proceeded to the next order of the day. The morning went on like this for quite some time, before Lulu had to leave to make lunch.

“Pix is helping!” She yelled as she left the table.

Veigar groaned, his heavy gauntlet hitting his face. He made a weird snort-like sound as we all looked at him.

“Is this really necessary?” He screeched.

“Yeah.” Tristana answered. Her voice had lowered significantly, as if she was trying to sound menacing or authoritarian. “We need to have rules in order to live properly. I know there’s some rivalry on this ship, and the fact that we’re all League champions doesn’t help. But if you don’t want to be abandoned in the middle of nowhere, I suggest you follow them all.”

The Tiny Master of Evil sighed, his gauntlets moving to support his head as he placed it on them.

“Fine. I’ll do the awful chores. But don’t expect me to be nice. Or to get along.”

“Do your fucking best, Veigar. I don’t want anyone upset because of you. We are going to have to live along and you are not going to ruin it for anyone. You do, and you miss out on the great adventure.”

His eyes sparkled slightly as she said those last words and he decided he wasn’t going to provide a snarky remark.

Lunch was purple lasagne. I was hoping it had been a joke, but Lulu placed my plate in front of me, a giant smile on her face. I prodded at it with my fork, noticing no one else – besides the cook – had dared touch their food. The female yordle was currently enjoying her meal, squealing happily with each mouthful and encouraging us to eat.

“Are we going to die?” I asked, lifting the purple mix so I could eye it better.

“Enough. It can’t possibly be that bad.” Veigar said, finally gathering enough courage to eat a small mouthful of the dish Lulu had prepared. We all watched in disbelief as he munched it unenthusiastically until he swallowed.

“Yeah, I don’t think this’ll kill us.” He muttered. “It’s actually decent.”

“Of course it is, Veigy!” Lulu screamed in delight as she watched the rest of us deciding to finally eat her meal. “It’s just normal lasagne that Pix made look purple.”

“You could’ve said that earlier…” Tristana murmured, stuffing a mouthful of the dish into her maw.

“DON’T CALL ME VEIGY EITHER!” The Tiny Master said, slamming his gauntlets on the table.

“Oh, Vei-Vei! I’m so happy you were the first one to try it! It means you actually do trust me!” Lulu squealed and everyone suddenly stopped eating, noticing that what she had said was surprisingly true.

“Shut up.” Veigar muttered, prodding the lasagne lazily.

We were all uncomfortably silent the rest of the meal, as no one wanted to pipe in or question what was going on between those two.

Lulu finished her meal first but waited until Veigar did too. She followed him when he left the table, much to his unhappiness.

“Leave me alone! Stop following me!”

“But it’s fun to be with Veigar!” She screamed, trying to get him to hold her hand.

“NO IT ISN’T! Go away or I’ll cast a spell on you!”

“Oh! What kind of spell? Can I help?”

The last thing we heard were a whole lot of swearing words followed by a long sigh.

“So, what’s the deal between those two?” Tristana asked, looking at me with that twisted smile that meant mischief. I couldn’t help myself and grinned back.

“Something is definitely up.” I answered, drumming my fingers against the table.

“I just don’t get why she likes him.” Groaned Teemo, his face scrunched up in disgust.

“You actually think she likes that… pathetic excuse of a yordle?” Asked Heimerdinger. He looked amused, as if he could actually express emotions.

“Oh, yeah, Lulu likes likes him.” I said, my voice a low purr. “If you know what I mean.”

“Because Rumble knows what females like.” Tristana remarked, a sly smirk spreading on her face as she looked at me, an eyebrow raised. So, we were going to play this game, huh.

“Oh, she doesn’t like Veigar? I bet she wants to kiss him, to say the least. Or maybe they have already!” I grinned back, making it look like Trist’s first comment hadn’t got to me.

“I think she likes him.” Teemo weighed in. “Like like.”

“Why does Veigar put up with that halfwit?” Heimerdinger muttered, sounding as if he was mostly speaking to himself.

“Maybe he likes her back!” Tristana said.

“Because now you know what males like.” I smirked at her and she stuck her tongue out at me.

“I don’t think Veigar’s capable of liking anyone.” Teemo answered. “Or anything, for that matter.”

“I don’t think he likes her back.” Heimerdinger commented.

“I personally think he just enjoys the attention.” I yawned and got up. “Hey, Trist, I almost forgot, I wanna show you something.”

“Ahm, what is it?”

“Come with me to the cockpit.”

She nodded and followed me. Once there I marvelled slightly at my lovely design. She looked at me, her head tilted to one side.

“I gave this baby voice recognition!” I finally said and her eyebrows lifted in amazement.

“Oh, cool!” She giggled. “Hello ship? This is Tristana speaking.”

“You’ve got to push this red button here and then say your name. But wait!” I had to hold her hand back, she was so eager to press it. “Let me tell you the functions it has first.”

I spent about three minutes showing her how to use it and when she finally could she was incredibly keen to try it. She sat down on her seat, held the controls with one hand and pressed the button with a finger of the other.

“Tristana!” She nearly screamed in excitement.

“Hello Tristana.” The female voice responded, sending a chill down my spine.

“Give me manual control, please”

“Granted.” The voice answered and the ship slowed considerably, before Trist got it going again.

“So coooool!” She cheered, manoeuvring the ship left and right, throwing me off balance slightly. “Tell me the temperature of the ship.”

I decided to let her play with her new found toy, so I left for my room.

So far, it hadn’t been a bad first day. But there was still time for it to all go really, really badly.

[mysteli]

Birthday Blues (Jake X MC)

A/N: Ok so this fic is so overdue and late. I missed New Years and I missed my fave MC’s Birthday so I thought I’d combine this into one fic so this is what happened. It’s Jake X MC (because they’re my faves ok) and it’s really really fluffy. 

Warning: T

PERMA TAG LIST: @brightpinkpeppercorn@cocomaxley @hopefulmoonobject@alesana45 @jellybean-marshmellow@mymandrake @regrettingnathan @dobie2112@princessstellaris @mechaspirit @skyila @mind-reader1  @xo-endlessmayhem-xo @sakaily@justboredtrash @regina-and-happiness @annekebbphotography. @endlessly-searching-for-you @reginasayeed @christopher-powell@zigortega4life @eileendannie @diamondoasis@speedyoperarascalparty  @emomoustache@lostlightningbug @endlesstaylormckenzie @alekai-sayeed @akrenich @vickypoo91 @nitta-jaeguet @femmeshep @hayden-park

ES TAG: @darley1101

Let me know if you wanna be tagged! 💗and let me know if the tags work because Tumblr is acting up.

Masterlist

Logan stretches out on the couch and collapses on her back. Now she’s prepared for a well-earned sleep. Today is actually her birthday but since Jake has unfortunately been away on a job for most of the day, they’ve decided to wait until tomorrow to celebrate (aka the day Jake gets back from that stupid job). Turns out the trip was so important and unavoidable, even for Jake, who promises he’ll make this her best birthday ever when he gets back. He’s been away for three days now and Logan has been nothing but sad. 

Well, the day hasn’t been all bad, since all of Logan’s friends came around to celebrate her birthday with her - handing her presents and food and showering her with those dreaded words. Happy Birthday. Then when they left, Logan immediately fell back into a mood of complete and utter sorrow. 

It’s not that she doesn’t like her birthday, she just can’t come to grips with the fact that after everything, Logan can’t seem to accept that she can do anything normal at all. Like celebrating a birthday or even doing any birthday-like things. Like eating a piece of cake or opening a present. The entire idea just seems weird to Logan. Besides, she’s a fucking alien apparently so why shouldn’t she feel weird about having a birthday? 

Exactly. She’s being pathetic. 

It just isn’t the same without Jake. Logan would feel a whole lot better about today if Jake was here to celebrate with her. Right now she’s feeling understandably lonely and annoyed that Jake would choose his job over his wife. Okay, that’s clearly exaggeration but Logan can’t help but be mad at him. Sure, they’ve been texting back and forth, with Jake waking Logan up with a sweet Happy Birthday to prove that he hasn’t forgot. Of course it was sweet but it only reminded Logan that she’s gonna be celebrating her birthday without the man she loves.

It really really shouldn’t be such a big deal though. This is just what happens. Sometimes this stuff is just unavoidable and it’s clear Logan is making it a little too much of a problem. Right now, she just wants to sleep and forget that this day even exists. She’s turning 23 and that sucks enough on its own but add the fact that Jake ain’t here, it’s just... it’s impossible. 

Shoving her irritations to the back of her mind, Logan huffs into the pillow that her head lies on and then tries her hardest to just sleep her troubles away and ignore everything that happened today. Is it bad that she just wishes today never happened? She loves her friends and appreciates everything they do for her but even they couldn’t deny that Logan would be much happier if Jake was in her sights, celebrating right beside her. 

But he’s not. And that’s why she’s so goddamn sad. 

Just as Logan feels herself start to drift off to sleep, she catches the sound of her phone buzzing beside her. The vibration alerts her awake and forces her to get up from the couch. Her platinum blonde hair is now slightly tousled from her fidgeting in her attempts to go asleep and her ocean eyes are watery from all the exhaustion in her system. She’s dressed in one of Jake’s black shirts (almost like she always is when he’s away) and she already feels more tiredness when she gets to her feet and moves to retrieve her phone.

Once she has her phone in her grasp, she flops back down on the couch and opens her phone, first greeted by the time of 11pm. Her birthday is finally almost over and soon a new day will begin. Thank god for that! Then, Logan spots a notification on her phone, causing the alert from before. Her ocean eyes light up slightly when she catches the name of the sender of the text and she feels a little happier than before.

It’s Jake. Of course it’s Jake. It’s probably another fucking apology text for not being with her on her birthday. She’s heard it all before. She heard it enough before Jake left, his last words to her being “Sorry... I love you. I promise I’ll celebrate with you when I get back.” But Logan knows it won’t be the same now because it won’t even be her real birthday. Hell, does she even have a birthday? Is that another messed up thing that goes on with her Vaanu background or whatever? 

Rolling her eyes, Logan opens the text and her eyes skim over a short message from Jake. It’s not an apology text for sure. 

‘Hey Princess’ 

That’s it. That’s all it says and Logan smiles lightly, happy to know that Jake just wants to talk to her instead of pitying her... again. 

Logan begins typing away at the built in keyboard on her phone, replying rather blandly herself but still with meaning. 

‘Hey babe’ 

‘Are you ok? Sorry I couldn’t make it again’

Nevermind. There it is. The sympathy. The pity. The never ending apology that Logan just can’t escape from. She sucks in a sharp breath and tries not to think about it too much. 

‘I’m fine. Better now you’re actually texting me’

‘Haha. Didn’t you have fun with our friends?’

Logan bites down on her lip and feels her eyes starting to water and she suddenly hates herself for it. This is stupid. So stupid. She’s been so pathetic. It’s not even funny. It’s mad. She never thought she’d been doing this in her life. But it’s Jake Mckenzie. She can’t help it.

‘It was ok with them but it wasn’t the same without you’ 

Logan can’t believe how honest she’s being right now. She probably should just have said she had fun and that she was going to sleep because she just can’t be bothered with anything anymore. Can’t it all wait until tomrorw? Might be too late now.

Jake seems to take a while to respond and it worries Logan a little and an overbearing sigh of relief escapes her when he finally replies.

‘Oh come on, darlin’. This is how I didn’t want you to feel and I was sure you wouldn’t because I thought the rascals would make your birthday everything you wanted anyway’

‘Jake...’

That’s all Logan replies with because she truly doesn’t know what to say. Jake seems so sure that Logan’s birthday would have been better spent with the rest of their friends instead of just him alone. Wow. Guess he really doesn’t realise how important he is to Logan and that’s a little scary. 

‘I’m really sorry I couldn’t get out of this job. I wish I could have been there with you. I didn’t think it would matter that much’

Okay, now that actually hurts Logan a little bit because clearly Jake wants to believe that it wouldn’t change much if he isn’t there but sometimes it changes everything. Logan and Jake go through this process a lot. Jake goes away for a couple days on a job and then comes back and then it isn’t a big deal. But this is her birthday and Logan wanted to spend it with Jake. This is something it hurts to watch him miss.

“Jake... you realise you missed New Years too... and you don’t think that’s a big deal’

Logan tries to remain calm but her ability to stay sane is slowly fading away and soon she will lose it completely.

‘I’m sorry about that too. Fuck, I feel like such an idiot’

‘It’s... cool. I’ll see you tomorrow and we can do it all then’

Jake replies rather slowly now and Logan has now reached the point where she just wants to forget about these last few days and focus on tomorrow. 

Logan gets a slight shock when her phone starts to ring violently in her hands. It’s Jake trying to call her and clearly she has no choice but to answer as calmly and collectively as possible. She won’t dare give away her insecurities. Not even to her husband. 

The phone is now pressed up against Logan’s ear and she sucks in a sharp breath when she hears the familiar sound of Jake’s low husky tone. There’s a severe amount of certainty in his voice when he finally speaks. “You’re mad at me,” is all he dares to clarify and Logan just rolls her eyes, freezing where she sits.

“Nope. I’m not.” She assures in an innocent tone that is clearly not as convincing as she thinks it is.

“Yes you are, Princess. Can you... not be mad at me?” Jake questions, not really sure how to fix this. At least that’s what his tone gives away.

“What do you want me to say, Jake? It’s my birthday and I’m spending it sad and alone.” 

“You weren’t alone though. You spent it with our friends.” 

“Oh shut up... you know what I mean.” Logan snaps, immediately flooded with regret when such an irritated tone slips out of her mouth. She’s just exhausted and can’t be bothered with Jake’s excuses right now. “Maybe I wasn’t alone but I’m still sad.”

“Baby... you’re being a little dramatic.” Jake dares to point out and Logan’s ocean eyes widen at the insinuation. Hearing her deep scoff from the other side of the phone and sensing that offended scowl, Jake decides to backtrack. “Ok... I didn’t mean that. Just a joke, darlin’.”

Logan realises how stupid she’s being. She’s mentioned it over and over again and repeated the words in her head a million times. But it’s her goddamn birthday and Jake is taking that time to tell her she’s being dramatic. Coming from him, it really hurts.

A heavy sigh can be heard from the other side of the phone and Jake clears his throat before deciding to speak again. “Look Princess, I’m sorry I called you dramatic. You’re my wife and I understand why you’d wanna spend your birthday with me and you’re upset because I’m not there but... that is a little difficult to accept since...” The minor sound of rustling can be heard before Jake finally lets out the words that Logan has been hoping to hear. “...I’m already here.” 

Logan’s sky blue instantly brighten up with surprise and a wide smile crosses her lips. For a moment, she’s so goddamn happy but still overwhelmed with shock. Jake better not be messing with her. He best actually be there because this would be awful if it’s just one cruel joke. Logan’s smile dies a little from the doubt, even though she wants to believe that Jake is being all genuine.

“Seriously?” Logan reacts, a little more stunned than she anticipated.

Jake stutters a little, suddenly anxious. “Oh shit. You sound mad.” 

“No! I’m just... shocked. Are you actually here? This ain’t a joke?”

Realising, Jake lets out a mocking scoff, planted with pretend defence. “Wow... after all this time, you don’t think I have in me to be genuine.” 

This time Logan catches the sarcasm and finds it easier to believe he’s actually there. Then she realises... is he outside? “Wait... are you like... outside the apartment? Now?”

Logan can practically see the smirk spreading across his face as his next words are spoken. “Why don’t you open the door and find out, darlin’?” 

Without any hesitation or warning, Logan leaps from the couch and hangs up the phone, throwing it against the nearest pillow. On light feet, she makes her way to the front door and the bright smile on her face never falters as she unlocks the front door. Taking a deep breath, she grabs the handle and opens the door completely, shocked to actually find her ever so late husband on the other side.

Jake eyes her with a clean smirk, obviously proud that he was able to pull this off and trick her into thinking he’d actually miss her birthday after all this time. But it was probably a fun game he wanted to play but now it’s finally over and Logan can enjoy what’s left of her birthday with him. 

“Happy Birthday, Princess.” Jake announces, standing with his arms folded before her but he doesn’t have much time to react when Logan yanks him by the collar of his jacket and crashes their lips together in an act of passion. 

After a second of being completely startled, Jake manages to compose himself and respond to the kiss with as much commitment as possible. He rests his hands on her hips and twists her in his arms so she can be guided towards the door and it closes as she backs into it. Logan drags her hands up Jake’s back and pauses when they reach the back of his neck. That gives her the freedom to tangle her fingers in his hair. 

There’s no way to describe how goddamn happy Logan is right now. Not even because of the occasion or whatever. It wouldn’t have even mattered. She’s excited to merely have Jake back with her again. He does this whole going away thing too often and the feeling of having back is just so damn satisfying. 

 After a moment of complete content, Logan and Jake end the passion for now and knock their foreheads together sweetly. It’s so painfully obvious that they’ve missed each other and it’s always nice to be back with each other again. It’s an undeniable feeling of happiness that they’d never trade for anything... except maybe for Jake to never have to go away at all.

“Thought you had to stay in... wherever you went until tomorrow.” Logan points out, biting down on her lower lip as she takes in the familiar sight of her husband. Goddamnit does she love him.

Jake scoffs at her failure to remember where he even was. “That was my plan but... I just couldn’t let you celebrate your birthday alone.” 

“Thought you said I wasn’t alone.” Logan reminds him of that stupid insinuation he made before and it all immediately comes screaming back to him.

“Yeah... our friends are fine but no birthday is really a birthday without me is it?” 

“Why are you so painfully cocky?” Logan questions, followed by an obvious eye roll and Jake responds with a low chuckle.

“It’s your fault, darlin’.”

For a moment, their eyes meet and lock for what seems like forever. They cherish the sight of each other just like they always do when they see each other. They still can’t believe they got so lucky running into each other the way they did. If not, who knows where they’d both be right now?”

Logan finally breaks the silence, moving her hands so her palms are pressed against Jake’s chest. “So.... did you get me a present?”

Jake’s answer comes to the light immediately when a hit of realisation washes over him, stifling an irritated groan from his mouth. “Damnit... that’s the one thing I forgot.” Jake admits, eyeing his wife as apologetically as possible. “Sorry Princess. I must have left it.”

“Of course you would do that. But don’t worry, I have another idea for what you could give me.” Logan suggests, sending Jake a knowing look and he immediately appears intrigued.

“What’s that, darlin’?”

Logan glances at the clock briefly before shooting Jake a smirk. “It’s almost midnight.” She hints and Jake immediately catches on to what her big idea is. He appears perplexed and confused as to why she would suggest something so futile on the wrong day. 

“It ain’t New Years, Princess.”

“I know! But you still owe me a New Years kiss. You’ve been away the last few days.” Logan argues and Jake can’t seem to find the will to fight her on it. So he simply lets out a sigh and prepares for another New Years with his princess. Lets call it a do-over. 

“Ok. I’ll do it. But only cause it’s your birthday.” Jake relents, noticing how it’s somehow already 11:59 when Logan pulls out her phone and reveals the current time. “Just no lame countdown thing.”

Logan honestly isn’t surprised that he came out with a complaint like that. He didn’t even do it the first time they had a New Years on La Huerta. But the kiss afterwards was pretty amazing so that makes up for it. 

“Ok... no lame countdown thing.”

They wait until the clock reaches midnight and that’s when Logan gets excited. She prepares to go in for a kiss but Jake pulls away with a sly smirk on his face.

“Technically it ain’t your birthday now so I don’t have to do it.” Jake tries to joke with her but Logan only ends up taking it extremely seriously. After all this time, can he really get away with a joke like that?

“Are you fucking kidding me, Jake? I just want one moment of—“

“Just kidding.” Jake cuts her off before he can get too mad with words and also by reeling her for a New Years/birthday kiss. It’s different but they’re all about different so why not?

It doesn’t take for Logan to melt into the moment and her heart pounds with desire and need, as Jake strokes the sides of her hips and enjoys the taste of her lips. He won’t ever get enough of her. He knows that. She’s too damn good for him and he’s too damn for her. So they’re basically too damn good together. That’s why they gotta stay together.

Once they pull finally find the strength to pull away, Jake meets Logan’s eyes with slight bewilderment. He seems unsure about something.

“So... am I supposed to say Happy New Years or Happy Birthday? Or... Happy Tuesday?”

[sampaii-ca]

Light my Fire (Klance fic)

Heh, I know that title is totally cheesy but I had to make at least ONE pun for this fic ;)  Sorry this is a day late but here’s the second fic for Klancetober/Keithtober, the prompt is fire.

Keith was NOT looking forward to today.  It already started off bad when he discovered that the coffee in the communal kitchen was all gone but now he had to get the firehouse ready for a visit from thirty fourth graders coming in later that day.

"Kolivan, why do I have to lead this tour?  You know I don't....can't, handle kids well.  They make me nervous and I feel like they can stare into my soul.  Not to mention most of them are walking, talking, giant germs."

Kolivan looks up from his paperwork and gives Keith his "why are you bothering me with this pathetic issue" look.

"Keith, you can run into a burning building that is about to collapse but you can't handle thirty fourth graders?"

".....yesss..???" Keith puts on his biggest puppy dog eyes and asks, "Why can't Shiro lead the tour, you know he's great with kids.  And every kid loves Shiro, they are all going to hate me."  Keith crosses his arms while wearing a slight pout.

Kolivan looks ten ways  to done with this conversation and pinches the bridge of his nose.  "Shiro has lead the last three tours while you were "mysteriously" absent.  So it is your turn to lead.  Stop complaining, Shiro will be right beside you to help anyways."

"But..."

"OUT."

"Yes sir."

Keith shuffles out of Kolivan's office and walks right into Shiro.  

"Whoa, hey Keith.  Why so glum?"  

"You know why Shiro."  Keith glares at the direction of the entrance where he can hear the school bus pulling up.

"It'll be alright kiddo," Shiro chuckles while ruffling Keith's hair and starts walking towards the entrance.  Keith shuffles behind and takes a few deep breaths.  It's only a few hours, it's only a few hours, I can do this.

Keith can't do this.  It's only been five mins and once the bus doors opened a stream of fourth graders poured out and ran right up to Keith.  They've been throwing questions at him left and right.  "Where is the fire truck?"  "Why is your hair so long?"  "Have you ever got burnt?"  "What's the hottest biggest fire you've ever seen?"  Keith was just about to turn and high tail it out of there when the chaperone came out of the bus followed by a kid who looked like he was green in the face.

"Kids!  Please line up in your groups and stop harassing the nice firefighter man!"

The chaperone tells the sick kid to join his group and then he's walking over to Keith.  Keith feels frozen, the chaperone is GORGEOUS.  Tall, about the same height as Keith, dark golden brown skin with brown hair to match and as he gets closer Keith can see his eyes are an electric blue color.

"Hi!  I'm Lance!  The chaperone from the YMCA for these little rascals here."  Lance holds out his hand to Keith.  Keith is staring and he thinks his brain is trying to restart.  Shiro clears his throat besides him and Keith is pulled out of his stupor.

"Sorry, I-I'm Keith," he takes Lance's hand and shakes it.  His grip is firm but Keith can tell his hands are soft, unlike his beat to hell callous ones.  "This is Shiro," Keith points and Shiro shakes Lance's hand as well.

"Nice to meet you both."  Lance glances at Keith for moment and blood rushes to Keith's cheeks.  He can see Shiro wearing a shit eating grin behind Lance.

"I've split the kids into four groups to go with each firefighter.  Is that ok?"  Lance asks as the other two firefighters, Thace and Ulaz emerge from the back of the firehouse.

"Ya, ya that’s fine."  Keith answers while he's still trying to find his voice again.  

Shiro steps in, bless him, and says, "Keith will be with your group and I'll take group two while three and four can go with Thace and Ulaz."

Keith's head whips up to stare at Shiro and he winks at Keith.  Keith doesn't know if he wants to jump with joy or pummel Shiro out of sheer embarrassment.

"Sounds good to me!"  Lance is practically bouncing on the balls of his feet and he starts to separate the kid groups with their respective firefighter.  

"Shirrrooo, what am I suppose to do now?"  Keith hisses through his teeth so Lance won't hear him.

Shiro has to hide his snicker behind his hand but he claps Keith on his back and says, "Well, be nice for one.  And second, get your flirt on son!  We all know you want to!"

"Shiro I'm terrible at flirting and you know that."

"Hey, come on kiddo.  You never know until you try, right?"

Keith rolls his eyes and has a retort on the tip of his tongue but Lance comes jogging back to him with eight kids following behind.  

"Alright!  We all set to go?"

"Yep!"  Shiro answers and walks towards his group giving a subtle thumbs up towards Keith.

Keith sticks his tongue out but can't help the subtle smile he has on.

He looks to Lance who was telling the kids to listen to Keith while on the tour and to not touch anything unless told to.  "Alright, let's go then."  Keith leads the group towards the front of the fire station where the garage is.

They have their newest truck out to show today, Keith and Shiro washed it that morning and once the kids saw it they practically screamed and ran to touch it.  Lance was laughing and ran to make sure no one got in until they were told to.  Keith took a moment to watch Lance as he interacted with the kids.  He made it look so easy, like it was totally natural.  Keith's heart skipped a beat when Lance looked up and caught his eye.

"Keith!  Can we get in?"

"O-o ya, here let me get the door."

Keith opened the doors and let the kids pile in along with him and Lance.  He sat in the drivers seat and Lance ended up smushed against him with the kids on his other side.  Keith tried not to think about his whole side touching Lance and willed the blush away from his cheeks.

All at once the kids were yelling questions at him.  Lance clapped once to get their attention, CLAP!  The kids followed with two, CLAP CLAP!  "Now, why don't we take turns and ask Keith your questions."  Lance turned to Keith grinning as the first kid shot his hand in the air.

Keith was trying not to stare at Lance's beautiful eyes but Lance was staring right back.  He broke eye contact and pointed to the first kid with a question, "You, what's your question."

"Can we hear the horn?!"

Keith couldn't help but smile, "Sure."  He pushed on the horn and all the kids screamed in delight.

"Now do the siren!"

Keith obliged and the siren was loud but the kids loved it.  They kept rattling off random questions and Keith was kind of, maybe, sort of having fun until one of the girls raised her hand and asked, shyly, "Mr. Keith, do you have a girlfriend?"

Keith sputtered at that when Lance said, "Melanie, sweetie, that's a very personal question.  Why don't you ask a question about the firetruck instead?"

She looked a little sad but immediately perked up with her next question, "Do you guys have a Dalmatian?"

Keith could answer to this one, "We do, his name is Kosmo.  In fact, lets go see him right now."

They all left the cab of the truck and Keith couldn't be more grateful to be out of the confining space.  They made their way through the firehouse and Keith showed them the kitchen and living quarters.  They ended up in the backyard where Kosmo was chewing on a giant bone.  The kids made a break for the dog and Kosmo jumped up and started to play with them.

"So do you?"  Lance asked as he stood next to Keith watching the kids play.

"Do I what?"

"Have a girlfriend?"  Lance turned to Keith with a glint in his eye.

"O, uh, ha no.  They aren't my type."  Keith said as he bit his lip a little from nerves.

"Not your type huh?  What IS your type?"  And Keith could see something in Lance's eyes, hope maybe.  He wasn't sure.

"I'm gay."  Keith blurted out.  Ugh, graceful Keith, graceful.

Lance's eyes went wide for a moment and a blush rose to his cheeks, he coughed into his hand, "Cool, cool.  I'm bi."

Oh, OH, Keith's heart fluttered in his chest.  Maybe he did have a chance here, Shiro's voice echoed in the back of his head "Get your flirt on!".  But just as he was about to continue talking to Lance, Shiro came through the back door and asked them to follow him up to the second floor.  His voice died out with the roar of the children pulling him and Lance along.

This was the final part of the tour, and usually the most favorite for the kids.  The fireman's pole.  They split up, Keith and Thace on the bottom to catch the kids as they landed and Shiro, Ulaz and Lance at the top to send them down.  One by one each of the kids slid down, grinning as they landed and jumping up and down saying how cool it was.  

"So did you ask him out?"  Thace asked as another kid landed and Keith couldn't help but roll his eyes at him.

"Ugh, Shiro."  He gritted through his teeth, "Had to go and blabber about me huh?"

THUD, another kid landed.

"Keith, I didn't need Shiro to tell me you think that boy is cute.  You were staring enough to burn a hole right through him."

Keith let out a little whine, "I'm that obvious huh?"

Thace chuckled and helped the next kid land.

"You should ask him out."

"Ugh, I want to...I'm just, terrible at this."  

"Coming down!"  Someone yelled from above and Keith looked to see Lance getting ready to slide down.  Thace shot Keith a grin and backed away from the pole leaving him alone.  Lance gripped the pole and started his decent but he was coming down to fast and to top it off he let go of the pole too early.  Lance fell off and right into Keith's arms.  

Both stood motionless, Lance in Keith's arms, bridal style.  Both wide eyed and red in the face.  Keith's brain had definitely shut down and from the look on Lance's face he wasn't doing much better.  

Someone cleared their throat, breaking their staring contest.  Shiro was standing by the pole, having just come down.  His mouth set in a smirk, "Lance you ok? You didn't hurt yourself right?"

Lance let out a tiny yelp as he hopped out of Keith's arms.  "I'm good!  Good good good.  Keith here saved me!"  He hit Keith in the chest to emphasize his point and Shiro just nodded trying not to laugh.  

"Awesome.  We should get the kids loaded back on the bus.  Hope you guys had fun today."

"Yes we did!  Right kids?"  Lance faced them and they all yelled out their thank yous. They all started to head towards the bus and Keith felt a little nudge on his back.  "Go ask him out before he leaves."  Shiro whispered behind him.

Ya.  Ya, he could do this.  Keith jogged up to Lance as the last kid was loaded on the bus.

"So, um, I had a good time showing you guys around today.  Hope you had fun!"

"Totally!  The kids always love coming here.  And I had a good time too."  Lance looked at Keith like he was waiting for something.

"That's good!  I also, was...wonderingifyou'dliketogogetcoffeewithmesometime.  When we're both not working of course."  That came out so fast he hoped Lance understood it.

Lance's eyes crinkled at the corners with how big he was smiling.  "I'd love to, I'm free tomorrow.  I know a cute coffee shop on Main we could go to."

"Yes!  It's a date!"  His voice cracked a little as he answered.  Calm down Keith, calm down. He cleared his throat, "That works out perfect because I don't work tomorrow."

Lance pulled out his phone and they exchanged numbers and chose a time to meet up.

"Bye Keith, see you tomorrow!"  Lance shouted as he boarded the bus.

"Bye Lance!"  Keith waved as they pulled out of the parking lot.

Just as he was turning around, Shiro pulled him under his arm and ruffled his hair.

"Told you, you could do it!  I'm so proud!  My baby bro all grown up and going on dates!"  He wiped at his eyes to get rid of the fake tears.

"Shiiirrrooooo, stooop!"  Shiro released Keith and they walked towards the fire house.

His day turned out way better than expected and tomorrow looked like it would be even better, because he had a date with a beautiful boy named Lance.

[babyjakes]

better than the books.

〈 disclaimer: this blog posts content not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. minors are strictly prohibited from viewing, sharing, or interacting with this blog. for more information on this blog's commitment to protecting minors, read our full statement here. 〉

summary | after finding out his favorite assistant has been writing filthy smut about him for years, your boss, chris evans, decides to make your dirtiest fantasies come true.

pairing | ceo!chris evans x assistant!reader

warnings | FILTHY. smut. fingering. no protection which is a bad! idea (wrap your rascal, pals). lots of praise bc i love it i rlly do. oh and! sTRETCHing. idek. just. filthy.

word count | 1,343

requested by anon | chris evans x (assistant)reader where she writes fanfics way before working for him and when she had the chance to work for him, it ignited new passion to write for him which is now a bit more accurate being she knows more of him everyday, until one day he finds out? can it possibly be smut/fluff?

an | this was a request sent to me in a dm! love love love this, i’ve sO been in the mood to write some smut lately :-’) it starts out !intense! but then he softens up and it becomes fluffy smut,, i hope that’s okay <3 the look chris is serving in my head for this is totally an andy barber moment lol.

“Y/n,” Chris states firmly as he enters your office, closing the door and locking it behind him as he steps a few feet into the small room. His brow is furrowed slightly as he gazes over at you, an expression of deep intensity forming on his face.

Jumping a bit in your seat at the tone of his voice, you give him a nod, asking, “Yes, Mr. Evans?”

Without responding, he makes his way over to you, the muscles in his arms bulging slightly under the rolled-up sleeves of his white button down. Once he’s at your side, he reaches a hand out and brushes it along your hair, his fingers inching their way down your chin as he grabs it and turns your face to look up at him. “M-Mr. Evans, what a-are you-” you stutter, startled by his intimate touch.

“Shh-sh-shh,” he shushes, his thumb brushing over your soft lips as his grip on your jaw tightens. “I don’t want a single word out of you until I tell you to speak. Understood?” To your complete horror and humiliation, you can see a large bulge throbbing under his black dress pants, causing a warmth to begin spreading throughout your stomach. Not wanting to disobey the dominant man, you nod, swallowing hard as he strokes your cheek gently with his thumb. “That’s a good girl,” he murmurs, his voice dripping with lust.

Before you can even process what’s happening, the tall man has lifted you up at the waist, setting you down on top of your desk. He pushes you back down onto the piles of paper, your head slightly elevated as you keep your eyes locked with his. His large hands come down and rest on your thighs, beginning to push up your skirt slightly as you suck in a shaky breath. “M-Mr. Evans,” you breathe, already forgetting his order.

“Uh-uh uh, I said quiet, sweetheart,” he corrects, grabbing your skirt by the hem and pulling it off in one swift motion. Left in nothing but your white lace panties and your dress shirt, your cheeks begin to burn with embarrassment, causing Chris to smile hungrily. “Such a pretty girl for me, turning all red. This is what you wanted, isn’t it? You’ve just been waiting and waiting for me to come in here and do this to you.” Your eyes widen slightly at his words and you shake your head, pathetically trying to deny his claims. But Chris sees right through you, and honestly, your lame attempt at innocence is only turning him on more.

His hands find the elastic band of your panties and gently begin to tug at them, causing you to squirm some under his touch. “Come on now, babydoll. Isn’t this how you wanted it to go?” he asks teasingly as he slides the fabric down and off of your legs, leaving you now completely bare before him. Squeezing your knees together in embarrassment, you bite your lip, Chris’s bright blue eyes meeting yours as he gives you a smile. “Now are you gonna be a good girl and open your legs for me?” he asks. “Or am I gonna have to help you?”

Placing a hand on each knee, Chris begins to ease your legs open, and you whimper as they eventually collapse to the sides completely, leaving you spread out and vulnerable as Chris takes a seat on your desk chair, rolling up and landing between your legs. His hands brush against your inner-thighs softly as he coos, “Just like how you wrote it, huh, sweetheart?” Your heart skips a beat in your chest as your worst fears are confirmed: somehow, he found out about the filthy smut you’ve been writing about him. And now, he’s using it as a script, playing out your deepest fantasies right here in your office.

His hands make their way to either side of your dripping pussy, pulling apart your lips gently as he smiles. “So wet for me already, huh?” he croons. “Are you gonna be a good girl and let me make you feel good, hmm? I’ll do it exactly how you wrote it, I promise,” he hums as his thumb comes up and brushes over your clit. A soft whimper escapes your lips as he begins rubbing at your most sensitive spot, his other hand taking a finger and dipping it into your wetness. “Yeah, just like that,” he praises as your body responds so well to him. “You like it just like that, isn’t that right, sweetheart? Such a good girl for me.” As your arousal continues to grow, he slips in a finger, beginning to brush up against the spot deep inside of you that makes your stomach do flips.

“Please, Chris,” you breathe out, your legs trembling as he adds a second finger, his pace increasing in both his thrusts and the circles he’s rubbing along your nub. But just as you feel your tummy tightening, signaling the approach of your climax, Chris stops, causing you to whine desperately.

“Aww, poor baby,” he coos sickly as he begins to undo his belt, unzipping his pants and sliding them down along with his undershorts, exposing his hard, throbbing cock to the open air. You suck in a hot breath as your eyes fall on his length; needless to say, it’s much bigger than even you were expecting. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” he mocks concern, his thumb coming back and swirling over your clit slowly.

“B-big,” you whimper, your eyes wide with anticipation.

“What, you don’t think you can take it?” he asks with a slight chuckle, positioning himself at your entrance. “Sorry, doll, but that’s just too bad,” he shakes his head. “You’re just gonna have to be a good girl and take it.”

Without any further warning, he slowly begins to push his cock into you, causing your legs to tense and your stomach to contract as he stretches you to your absolute limit. “Good girl, such a good girl for me,” Chris murmurs as he forces the rest of himself in you, your lower belly swelling slightly as he fills you to the brim. “Look at you, filled up with my cock. Such a pretty girl, taking me so well.” Slowly at first, he begins pumping inside you, his thumb resuming its rubbing over your sensitive nub. Soft moans rise in your throat as he fucks you deeply, tenderly, his huge cock stroking every inch of your insides in best way possible.

“Fuck, babydoll. So fucking tight,” he pants as he struggles to move inside you, the throbbing of your cunt only making you seem tighter as he steadily begins to pick up his pace. His free hand comes up under your ass and rubs along your cheek gently before smacking it harshly, sending a new wave of pleasure through your body as you feel all of your muscles tightening.

“Shit, Chris, please,” you groan, knowing you can’t last for much longer.

“That’s it, good girl,” Chris growls as he sees your orgasm approaching. Pushing the hood of your clit back slightly with the palm of his hand, he begins to rub frantically over your swollen nub, now slamming his cock into you as hard and deep as he can. “Fucking cum for me, sweetheart. Cum all over my cock.”

“Fuck, Chris, fu-” you sputter as the tightness in your tummy snaps, an intense heat spreading rapidly throughout your whole body as your climax takes over.

“Such a good girl, y/n. Shit. Shit-” Chris grunts, his cock beginning to throb as he shoots his warm seed into your spasming cunt. Thrusting sloppily a few more times as you both come down from your highs, he grabs onto your thigh, his fingers digging into your tender flesh. “Fuck, y/n,” he breathes as you slump against the desk, a satisfied smirk forming on his face.

“Now that’ll give you something to write about,” he states cockily, your eyes rolling slightly into the back of your head as he pulls out and away from you.

[hotvideo]

RUSH IT (1977)

COMEDY LEGEND HENNY “TAKE MY WIFE, PLEASE” YOUNGMAN HAS A SON NAMED GARY. I’M GONNA GO OUT ON A LIMB AND SAY THAT GARY WAS ONE OF THOSE FREE-SPIRITED CELEBRITY KIDS OF THE 1960s/70s, YOU KNOW THE KIND. AN AGITATOR, EVER PLAYING HIS PAN FLUTE FOR THE PEOPLE, JUST HIM AND HIS TRUST FUND AGAINST THE WORLD. THE WORLD, IN GARY’S CASE, WAS NEW YORK CITY. BUT OFF-OFF BROADWAY WASN’T HIS BAG, SO GARY CROSSED OVER INTO FILMMAKING. OLD MAN YOUNGMAN GAVE HIM THE GREEN LIGHT, LINED UP THE FINANCIERS AND GARY SHOT RUSH IT WITH ALL HIS NEW YORK ACTOR FRIENDS, IN HOPES OF USING THE MATERIAL LIKE A 78-MINUTE TALENT REEL. THE CAST INCLUDES FUTURE HOLLYWOOD HEAVYWEIGHTS LIKE TOM BERENGER (THE BIG CHILL), JOHN HEARD (CUTTER’S WAY) AND JILL EIKENBERRY (TV’s “L.A. LAW”).  AFTER VIACOM ACQUIRED RIGHTS TO THE FILM, RUSH IT PLAYED A LOT ON MOVIE CHANNELS LIKE SHOWTIME. THE SOLE VIDEO RELEASE OF RUSH IT CAME IN THE FORM OF A BIG OL’ CLAMSHELL VHS FROM UNICORN VIDEO, MARKETED AFTER TOM BERENGER’S CAREER TOOK OFF. I TRACKED DOWN A COPY OF THE TAPE AT EDDIE BRANDT’S SATURDAY MATINEE.  

RUSH IT IS ABOUT A CAREFREE FEMALE BIKE MESSENGER (JUDY KAHAN) MAKING HER WAY IN THE CITY. SHE’S GOT THAT QUASI-ANNOYING ANNIE HALL THING GOING ON, IF A LITTLE MORE JEWISH AND, WELL, BASICALLY HARMLESS BECAUSE SHE’S IN HER TWENTIES AND ISN’T ANYONE’S MOTHER YET. SHE RIDES AROUND MANHATTAN IN A DUMB HAT, SMILING AT EVERYTHING WHILE BUZZY LINHART’S EBULLIENT SONGS BLAST OVER THE SOUNDTRACK. COULD BE WORSE. I MEAN, THE WORLD DIDN’T COMPLETELY SUCK BACK THEN. SURE, WE THOUGHT IT DID. OH, DID WE EVER! WE THOUGHT IT WAS OVER, MAN. THE SIXTIES WERE OVER. THE SIXTIES WERE GREAT! THE SEVENTIES WERE FAR WORSE. THESE WERE THE POST-WATERGATE YEARS. NEW YORK WAS ONE BROKE-ASS TOILET, AND YET IT WAS KIND OF MAGICAL, TOO.

DISCLAIMER: NO ONE WHO APPEARS IN RUSH IT WAS EVER A BIKE MESSENGER. REAL BIKE MESSENGERS DON’T KICK THEIR FEET UP WHILE TRAVERSING DANGEROUS METROPOLITAN TERRAIN, THEY RUN RED LIGHTS, FLIP STRANGERS THE BIRD AND DRINK FORTIES IN THE PARK. IF ANYONE HAS ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT THAT, A GANG OF THESE CATS WILL APPEAR OUT OF NOWHERE, UNBUCKLE THE SEATBELT STRAPS ON THEIR MESSENGER BAGS, MOVE FOR THEIR CHAIN WALLETS AND REENACT A SCENE FROM THE ‘96 X-GAMES. REMEMBER PUCK FROM MTV’s “THE REAL WORLD”? THAT’S A FUCKING BIKE MESSENGER! INCORRIGIBLE, UNREPENTANT B.Y.O.B. PUNKHOUSE SNOTROCKET RASCALS.  

“How ‘bout a date tonight, bimbo?”

THIS LUNATIC PLAYS THE PERVED-OUT DISPATCHER AT THE MESSENGER SERVICE. APPARENTLY JOE SPINELL WAS NOT AVAILABLE FOR THE ROLE, SO GARY CAST SOME ELEVATOR MAN WITH A CHECKERED PAST INVOLVING MANY INCIDENTS OF PUBLIC MASTURBATION. HE’S THE MOST AUTHENTIC SLICE OF THE APPLE IN THIS TURKEY. WHY CAN’T THE MOVIE BE ABOUT HIS TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS? LET’S FOLLOW HIM AROUND WHILE HE’S HAGGLING OVER THE PRICE OF A PAPAYA AT HIS LOCAL BODEGA OR CHECKING OUT THE SNATCH ON 42nd STREET.

HERE’S TOM BERENGER DOING HIS BEST BOTICELLI POSE FOR SOME LITTLE CHINA GIRL. BERENGER’S CHARACTER IS A STALLION WHO PREYS ON CITY CHICKS WITH HIS LOOKS, ESCHEWING ALL STRINGS IN THE CLASSIC LOVE ‘EM AND LEAVE ‘EM STYLE. HIS PREFERENCE, ADMITTEDLY, IS FOR “MORE MATURE WOMEN... ESPECIALLY MARRIED ONES.” YEP, IN THE END, HE’S JUST A GIGOLO. OH, BUT WHAT HE REALLY WANTS TO BE IS A FAMOUS PAINTER!

BERENGER TRIES TO PICK UP JUDY, BUT SHE’S HIP TO HIS ACT AND SPEEDS OFF ON HER BIANCHI. THEN SHE BUMPS INTO AN OLD BOYFRIEND, SOME SUIT WITH A FOXY ITALIAN BROAD ON HIS ARM. JUDY CALLS HIM A HEEL AND KEEPS ON PUSHING. SHE DELIVERS SOME SHIT TO SOME ECCENTRIC IDIOTS, INCLUDING A DRUGGED-OUT TALENT AGENT (ANTHONY HOLLAND, ALL THAT JAZZ) AND GAGGLE OF SUFFRAGETTES WHO’VE BEEN CRYOGENICALLY FROZEN IN A GREENWICH VILLAGE APARTMENT SINCE 1917. JUDY TAKES A BREAK AND GOES HOME. HER PAD HAS SOME FABULOUS TOKENS OF SEVENTIES SINGLE GIRL CHIC, INCLUDING HANGING HOUSE PLANTS, CINDER BLOCK BOOK SHELVES AND FRAMED PICTURES OF JANE AUSTIN. SHE RECEIVES A VISIT FROM HER NEIGHBOR, BYRON (JOHN HEARD), WHO’S JAZZED ON SOME GIRL HE JUST MET. JUDY AND BYRON ARE PLATONIC FRIENDS BECAUSE JUDY, WE’RE LEARNING, IS KIND OF A DYKE; NOT SO MUCH IN THE SEXUAL SENSE, BUT IN THE CULTURAL ONE. SHE’S TOTALLY FINE BEING ONE OF THE GUYS UNTIL THE RIGHT ONE COMES ALONG.

THE SUMMER I EXCAVATED RUSH IT FROM THE TOMB-LIKE STACKS AT EDDIE BRANDT’S, I WAS OBSESSED WITH THE ACTOR JOHN HEARD’S EARLY CAREER. IT STARTED WHEN I SAW HIM IN CHILLY SCENES OF WINTER, THEN GREW WITH BETWEEN THE LINES AND CUTTER’S WAY, THEN CONTINUED ON THROUGH A SLEW OF EXEMPLARY ROLES IN NOT-SO-GREAT FLICKS LIKE FIRST LOVE, ON THE YARD, BEST REVENGE, HEART BEAT, AND CAT PEOPLE. DUDE HAD CHOPS, CHARM AND AN IRRESISTIBLY SELF-EFFACING WIT. BY THE TIME HE WAS CAST AS JACK KEROUAC IN HEART BEAT, STARRING OPPOSITE NICK NOLTE AND SISSY SPACEK, HEARD WAS WELL ON HIS WAY TO BECOMING A LEADING MAN. BUT I SUSPECT HE NEVER FELT COMFORTABLE WITH THE  HOLLYWOOD MACHINE, HAVING COME OUT OF THE LESS BULLSHIT-Y WORLD OF NEW YORK THEATER. IN THE EARLY EIGHTIES, HEARD ATE AND DRANK HIMSELF OUT OF THE RUNNING. THANKS TO THIS SELF-SABOTAGE, TODAY HEARD IS BEST KNOWN TO THE IDIOTS WHO COMPRISE 99% OF THE MOVIE-GOING PUBLIC FOR PLAYING MACAULEY CULKIN’S DAD IN THE HOME ALONE FLICKS.

BYRON INVITES JUDY TO SOME GET-TOGETHER AT HIS GIRLFRIEND’S PAD. MERRILL (JILL EIKENBERRY) IS A SECRETARY, ER, ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT WHO’S REAL HUNG UP ON THAT POST-ROTHKO ABSTRACT SHIT AND ITS MARK ON THE THEN-EMERGING BOURGEOIS HOBBY KNOWN AS DECORATING. FROM THIS INTRODUCTION ONWARD, WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT BYRON SEES IN MERRILL. HE SHOULD REALLY JUST GO FOR JUDY, WHO WEARS OVERALLS TO PARTIES AND IS CLEARLY A GAS. 

JUDY MEETS A CHARMING 28-YEAR-OLD JEW NAMED MARK, WHO’S, OF ALL THINGS, A DENTIST. WOW! EDGY! SO THIS GUY STARTS PULLING A LOT OF NUMBERS WITH JUDY, AND SHE’S KINDA DIGGIN’ IT. THEY MINGLE AND GET COZY. THE COMBINATION OF GOD’S EYE AND CARLO ROSSI IN THE ABOVE FRAME IS FABULOUS. 

MARK’S “BLEEPER” GOES OFF, AN EMERGENCY BACK AT THE OFFICE, AND HE LEAVES JUDY WITH A SEMI.

THEN MERRILL MENTIONS TO JUDY THAT MARK IS MARRIED. JUDY’S LOOKING GOOOOOOD IN THOSE OVERALLS, AIN’T SEE? I WONDER IF LENA DUNHAM EVER SAW THIS MOVIE.

THE NEXT MORNING, BYRON COMES OVER TO GET A RECAP OF JUDY’S EVENING. THE USZH, SHE’S STILL 25 AND SINGLE.

THIS IS WHAT A DOOR IS SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE. IF YOU’RE UNDER 30 AND THE DOORWAY OF YOUR BIG CITY APARTMENT DOESN’T LOOK LIKE THIS, YOU’RE WASTING YOUR PARENT’S MONEY. THIS BARE BONES ASSEMBLAGE IS ALL YOU NEED TO PARTY LIKE A TRUE BELIEVER: OLD TERMITE-INFESTED WOOD PAINTED A MILLION TIMES OVER, QUESTIONABLY SECURE, DIRTY AND DELIGHTFUL. MY OLD SPOT LOOKED LIKE THIS. THEN I MOVED. NOW, FOR A MERE $1,000 MORE A MONTH,  I GOT ONE OF THEM NEW CHINESE JOBS MADE OUT OF RECYCLED AMERICAN REFUSE AND PARTICLE BOARD, PLASTIC WINDOW SLATS FROM HOME DEPOT (ALSO MADE IN CHINA!), THE WHOLE PATHETIC PACKAGE.

BYRON’S NEW GIRL STARTS GETTING UPPITY ABOUT BYRON’S ASSOCIATION WITH JUDY. JUST WHAT TYPE OF PERSON CHOOSES TO BECOME A BIKE MESSENGER, PRAY TELL? BYRON REVEALS JUDY HAS HER MASTER’S DEGREE, SHE’S JUST DOING THE BIKE GIG COS HER DEGREE IS TOTALLY WORTHLESS AND IT’S FUN RIDING A BIKE IN A CITY YOU CAN SMILE AT COS YOU REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT ALL MEN ARE RAPISTS, DESPITE CONVENTIONAL WISDOM AND SECOND WAVE FEMINISM STATING OTHERWISE. 

BACK AT THE BIKE SHOP, THESE TWO JOES PRACTICE THEIR HIGH NOTES FOR SOME FUTURE “CATS” AUDITION.

JUDY SPOTS BUZZY LINHART BUSKING. ALRIGHT! BUZZY KNOWS WHERE IT’S AT.

BERENGER FINALLY GETS THE BEST OF JUDY. HE WRITES HIS NUMBER ON HER BACK AND TELLS HER TO CALL HIM. THAT NIGHT, SHE HAS TO READ IT IN A MIRROR AND INVERT THE DIGITS. TWICE SHE CALLS THE WRONG NUMBER, FIRST IT’S SOME PEPE PERSON AND THEN A PHILIPINO WITH CATFISH WHISKERS. SO JUDY AND BERENGER GO OUT AND BALL. PRETTY SOON, THEY’RE AN ITEM.

BERENGER SHOWS JUDY HIS WORK. HE’S INTERRUPTED BY THE TELEPHONE. IT’S TOM’S OF FINLAND CALLING, ASKING WHERE THE SAILOR’S CAP WENT.

BERENGER TELLS JUDY A BUNCH OF SHIT ABOUT WHAT A SHITTY, SELF-ABSORBED PERSON HE IS -- JUST A SLAVE TO THE MUSE, MAN. BUT HE’S A STALLION, SO JUDY DIGS HIS FEARLESS HONESTY AND ACCEPTS BERENGER IN SPITE OF HIS MANY SHORTCOMINGS.

BERENGER ALSO TELLS JUDY HE’S BROKE AND MIGHT BE MOVING TO PENNSYLVANIA TO LIVE ON A FARM WITH AN AMISH COUPLE HE MET AT NIAGARA FALLS. THAT IS, UNLESS JUDY WILL LET HIM MOVE HIS ART STUDIO INTO HER APARTMENT.

MORE SUPERFLUOUS BERENGER PORN.

JUDY BUMPS INTO BYRON OUTSIDE THEIR BUILDING. HE’S WEARING A SUIT, WHICH INDICATES HE HAS A REAL JOB, PROBABLY IN AN OFFICE WHERE THE EXECS WITH THE GRAYING SIDEBURNS DRINK ALL DAY AND GRAB-ASS WITH THE LITTLE CHIQUITAS IN THE TYPING POOL.

BACK AT HER PLACE, JUDY RAPS TO BYRON ABOUT HER NEW STUD AND HOW TO KEEP HIM. BYRON SUGGESTS A FAKE PREGNANCY.

THEN, APROPOS OF NOTHING,  BYRON DOES A REALLY BAD BRANDO IMPRESSION. THIS IS IN NO WAY INDICATIVE OF JOHN HEARD’S TALENT AS AN ACTOR.

BERENGER COMES OVER AND STARTS MOVING JUDY’S STUFF AROUND.  JUDY DIGS BERENGER’S TAKE-CHARGE ATTITUDE. 

BYRON AND MERRILL HELP MOVE THE REST OF BERENGER’S SHIT OVER. JUDY, MEANWHILE, IS GROWING WARY OF BERENGER’S OPPORTUNISM.

THE NEXT EVENING, BYRON AND MERRILL INVITE JUDY AND BERENGER OVER FOR SUPPER. BERENGER WEARS SOME GONDOLIER’S SHIRT WITH A FUCKING POCKET ON THE ARM FOR HIS SMOKES. AFTER SOME WINE, MERRILL STARTS HITTING ON BERENGER. SHE ASKS HIM IF HE’LL DIG HER PAINTINGS AND LET HER KNOW WHAT HE THINKS. THEY REALLY SUCK. NO ONE SAYS THAT, BUT OF COURSE THEY DO. THEN MERRILL ASKS BERENGER IF HE GIVES PRIVATE LESSONS.

BACK AT WORK, JUDY DELIVERS SOME FILM TO A CASTING AGENCY. THE MANIAC WHO RUNS THE PLACE FLIRTS WITH JUDY. I DON’T KNOW WHY THIS SCENE IS IN THE MOVIE, EXCEPT TO FLESH OUT ITS ALREADY TOO-SHORT RUNNING TIME.

AT HEADQUARTERS, JUDY JOKES AROUND WITH THE HORNY DISPATCHER, WHO SAYS HE WON’T ASK HER OUT ANYMORE SINCE HE KNOWS JUDY’S BERENGER’S OLD LADY. 

WE GET TO SEE BERENGER RUSH IT A BIT, TOO. HE DELIVERS A PACKAGE TO SOME OFFICE, WHERE AN OLDER, STILL-FOXY SECRETARY REPEATEDLY ASKS HIM WHAT SHE CAN DO FOR HIM. ALL HE NEEDS IS HER SIGNATURE, BUT HE ASKS HER OUT FOR AN EGG McMUFFIN. GUESS WHO’S BUYING?

THEN BERENGER CRASHES SOME ART OPENING, APPROACHING THE OWNER OF THE GALLERY WITH HIS SLIDES IN TOW LIKE A TOTAL ASSHOLE. THE OWNER TELLS BERENGER HE’LL HAVE TO SPEAK TO HIS WIFE (CHRISTINA PICKLES, THE WEDDING SINGER), WHO, IN FACT, RUNS THE GALLERY.

WHEN THE GALLERY GASH FEASTS HER EYES ON BERENGER, SHE QUICKLY STARTS ASKING ABOUT HIS WORK AND ITS DIMENSIONS.

WHEN SHE’S SATISFIED, THEY MAKE A DATE FOR A STUDIO VISIT.

BERENGER RETURNS TO JUDY’S PAD ELATED WITH THE GOOD NEWS. JUDY’S HAPPY FOR HIM, BUT ALSO KIND OF BUMMED THAT HE DIDN’T TAKE HER TO THE OPENING.

JUDY AND BYRON HAVE A CHAT ON THE WAY TO THE LAUNDROMAT. BYRON REVEALS THAT HE’S PLANNING TO BREAK UP WITH MERRILL.

WHILE JUDY’S OUT DOING HER OLD MAN’S WHITES, SAID OLD MAN SLAVES AWAY IN THE STUDIO THAT USED TO BE JUDY’S APARTMENT. DIG BOWIE’S PINUPS IN THE THE BACKGROUND!

BERENGER RECEIVES AN UNEXPECTED VISIT FROM MERRILL, WHO’S BEEN SUNBATHING ON THE ROOF. SHE ASKS BERENGER IF SHE CAN WATCH HIM PAINT. HE TELLS HER TO COME BACK WHEN IT’S A BETTER TIME TO PARTY, HE’S ON A DEADLINE. 

JUDY AND BERENGER GRAB SOME MALTS AND PARK IT ON THE CURB. THE LIGHT’S REAL NICE AND THE WIND’S BLOWING SOFTLY, MAKING THE SCENE PLAY MORE NATURAL THAN THE OTHERS. IF I WAS ONE OF THESE TWO PEOPLE, I’D CHOOSE THIS SCENE FOR MY ACTING REEL.

WHEN JUDY TELLS BERENGER THAT BYRON’S CUTTING MERRILL LOOSE, HE ISN’T SUPRISED. HE TELLS JUDY HE’LL NEVER LET SOME CHICK COME BETWEEN HIM AND HIS PAINTING.

“Don’t EVER buy me a strawberry shake again. I said VANILLA.”

BERENGER PICKS A CONVENIENT TIME FOR THE GALLERY GASH TO STOP BY -- i.e. WHEN JUDY AIN’T AROUND. SHE DIGS BERENGER’S WORK AND BEGS FOR A CLOSER LOOK.

JUDY AND HER GIRLFRIEND FROM THE MESSENGER OFFICE (HARRIETT HALL) GET TOGETHER IN THE PARK TO RAP ABOUT BOYS AND WHAT HEELS THEY ARE.

WHEN JUDY GETS HOME, SHE FINDS BYRON MOROSE AND CARRYING A BOX OF MERRILL’S SHIT TO DELIVER BACK TO HER. BYRON ASKS JUDY IF SHE’LL COME WITH HIM.

WHEN THEY GET TO MERRILL’S, BYRON TELLS JUDY HER COMING WITH HIM WAS JUST A PLOY TO GET HER TO ACTUALLY DELIVER THE SHIT HERSELF SO BYRON WON’T HAVE TO SUFFER THE AGONY OF SEEING MERRILL’S STUPID FACE ONE MORE TIME. JUDY, EVER THE GOOD SPORT, OBLIGES HIM.

“Oh... it’s you. Where’s Byron? OH. Okay. Well, can you tell him he still owes me $4.37 for his portion of the Con Ed bill from July? Thanks!”

AS JUDY AND BYRON RETURN TO THEIR BUILDING, THE GALLERY GASH IS JUST LEAVING.

B-B-BUSTED! WHEN JUDY ENTERS THE PAD, BERENGER’S IN THE PROCESS OF CHANGING HIS SHIRT TO ONE NOT SOAKED IN SWEAT AND SCENTED VAGINAL OILS. HE TELLS JUDY HE GOT THE SHOW. SUDDENLY, WITH THE HELP OF A SHORT FLASHBACK, JUDY KNOWS THE SCORE.

AFTER A LONG, CATHARTIC RIDE AROUND THE CITY, JUDY VISITS THE GALLERY WHERE BERENGER’S GONNA HAVE HIS SHOW. THE PAINTINGS IN THE BACKGROUND REMINDS ME A LOT OF THE KIND OF WORK ALAN BATES’ CHARACTER MADE IN AN UNMARRIED WOMAN, OR THAT ARTIST JEREMY BLAKE WHO ESSENTIALLY MADE THE SAME KIND OF SHIT IN THE EARLY 2000s, ALBEIT DIGITALLY, BEFORE HIS TRAGIC DOUBLE-SUICIDE WITH HIS CRAZY WIFE AFTER THEY DID TOO MUCH COCAINE AND CONVINCED THEMSELVES THEY WERE BEING HUNTED BY THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY. IF THIS REVIEW HAS TAUGHT YOU ANYTHING, IT’S THAT I KNOW FAR TOO MUCH BULLSHIT ABOUT CONTEMPORARY ART AND NOT ENOUGH ABOUT MAKING LOVE. ANYWAY, JUDY WINS.

SHE GOES FOR ONE LAST DELIVERY. ONCE AGAIN, BUZZY LINHART’S MUSIC COMES ALONG FOR THE RIDE.

FINALLY, BYRON TELLS JUDY HE’S FOUND THE PERFECT GUY FOR HER: IT’S BYRON!!! WELL, ALRIGHT! JUDY LAUGHS. HARD. THE END.

[empirestateofmars]

EXPERIMENTAL WRITING

By Hakim, Terminale L, a short story written in Jan 2018 that pays homage to Dickens’ Christmas Carol. Enjoy!

Hakim,   Messed-up Christmas Carol

I never cared for chairs. They don't walk, or move, or serve any purpose really. The whole world would have been better if not for chairs. They occupy space, breathe our air… I never intended to become one myself. All pie long, my jellyfish family say I don't remotely resemble someone who would accept to have asses on him everyday. When I ask what I look like, they answer : « On a good day ? Like Gollum. ». Never played a Pokemon game before, but Gollum sounds like a good bloke. I look in a mirror but all I see is a dilettante non-chalantly satiating a curmudgeonly marzipan. Indeed, a darling marzipan is selling another wobbly bodice ripper to an unruffled trombone. Some rhetorical girl is overwhelmingly confessing the girl near the lunatic. This is quite the fun story. We do not have time for it. Thus, if not for my liquid sword, the red limey-chimney-woundy-timey-wibbly-sucky doves, the plane and the hole in the sky, I would not have got my Law 52 back. Now, where do storytellers start ? Not at the beginning, I presume, nor at the end, if we begin in the middle, Time might explode so… What if I don't start ? No story, no reason to read me. That would certainly help Time with logic. Nevertheless, have you watched Timecop with Van Damme ? Time doesn't make more sense than Shakespeare. If I begin before the beginning… ?

My name is Harpon Aragon di Hispania, I am from Texas. I am of a certain age, don't ask you impolite fool ! My age is but a number. A good one for a Bank such as me. I am tall, large, big, safe, many people work in me, they take lunch in my belly, feed me with their money. I am a great bank. At 5 o clock, I count my money, have a good swim in it, then I come home, except when I don't. Mostly, I let myself sink in the sugary green papers, and in the golden apples of power, that is to say : Money. Money and I have always had the strangest relationship. He comforts me, begs me to use him, as if this would free him. He can't understand, he will never be free for I can't let go. Hardest thing when you love someone is to be happy around them. I am so concerned with his safety, I forget to enjoy him, kiss him, love him. As a revenge, he cuts my little finger five times a day. I write a song for him to make up to him. He forgives, we dance together, I promise there shall be love between us for many moons and here we go again. Just a damn circle, except I go lower, and lower, to keep him around me. Money takes time. Money makes me tired, grumpy, cold, labels me  « penny pincher », but I always come home to him, always welcome him inside me. I love him to the point I… Forget my other life, as a happy, YOUNG, married man. Three days could pass without me looking at my wife, of course she can't see me, she is blind. A fellow, in court, threw her on the floor, ripping apart her pages, her leather. My wife is a law book, specialized in work. The original, you might say. She is from when man was but some ape in the forests. These apes would draw some lines on cavern walls, and say : « OOOMAAAA. Wourrka Leuwaaaa ». Sorry for that pathetic transcription.  And… My wife… How do I put it ? She is… as you say it, old. So old that I ask her about when good presidents ruled the States. She said : « Meh. Don't know about that. You sure that existed ? ». Oh ! I guess the story has started. I introduced an element I exposed some lines ago : Law 52. Isn't it a lovely name for a law book ? And that's my wife, or book, if you like! So… What if we start with the tale ? Even if the universe sometimes fails to be a fairy tale, that's why money is here ! Or was. I thought he could do anything. The damn fool was but a crawling bug, cruel, manipulative, and familiar.

I came home late on Globelskufeui 25th. A year ago. Somehow, I had stayed up late to close the store, count money and his new babies. Adorable, they all had the face of a respectable man with a beard.   When I opened the door with my shoe, I smelt a noise of arguing. Law 52, my blind wife, was caught in a battle with kitchen utensils. I didn't know they could talk. Quite a surprise for me. I went to the toilets, crapped for a while and came out. There and back again, I brought some drinks. She was arguing with those kitchen utensils. Resigned, I sacrificed myself and charged into battle. « What's with all the noise, woman ? A bank can't crap without being disturbed? ». To which she answered « You fool, you underpay your workers. That is injustice, infamy ! I demand your head on a plate ! Chop his head off ! By freedom, equality, all that is good in the world, I require you be punished ! It's Christmas, offer something to your workers ! That's what you do, at Christmas, you offer ! ». My wife has a burning passion for politics. She loves watching debates, more like hearing. I suddenly recalled I had employees ! So I logically explained why I wouldn't pay them. “ Honey, if I paid, they wouldn't be poor, right ? Therefore, if they don't complain, they don't need the union. They don't need laws. Consequently, if you follow me there, you wouldn't have a purpose ! Bad people would come and recycle you. Babe, I can't let that happen. Not on Christmas ! Not this way !”. What I really craved to say but never had the courage to was : “Christmas, just another hack to steal my money. Why spend it on a worthless present ? If I bothered about Christmas I'd have to… To… Give my precious away ! That can't happen. The salesmen that took Christmas won't have Harpon Aragon, I am smarter !” or “Most people believe that a rascally toothache greedily shares a shower with a somnambulist, but they need to remember how overwhelmingly a stalactite living with the dissident prays. A darling alchemist learns a hard lesson from a rhetorical cleavage. Toscanini, although somewhat soothed by a labyrinth from the maestro and some gonad, still approaches her from a maestro defined by the coward, derive perverse satisfaction from her a looking glass beyond a boy with an onlooker beyond a widow, and dances with the dark side of her trombone. A tea party ruminates, but a lunatic toward the tenor almost takes a peek at another clock” Law 52, sorrowless : “ Infamy ! Selfishness ! Out ! Out, you monster ! As a Social Justice Warrior, I don't accept being married to a man such as you. Out ! Out !”. Swift as ever, she pushed me outside the window, I fell on a plane headed to Guatemala and began my journey.

Guatemala is lovely in winter. Stars reflect on the Death Star they're building to conquer the world. You think it's the Star that glows. Too bad the flight was not pleasurable. No air to breathe, shitty weather. I complained when we landed but they said : “We hate it when poor people illegally travel on our cheese planes.”. I retorted : “I'm no poor people. I'm a bank ! It's Christmas ! Don't be silly now. People have this word like “Christmas” all the time. I hate Christmas. But, it must mean something, right ? Like special treatment. Or chocolate ! Others eat chocolate. That gives me diarrhea but, if you go look for some, that'll allow me to escape. So, we got a deal ?”. I don't know why, he put me in jail. Guatemala is not nice when you're in jail. I dropped my soap many times. All in one may, I met three persons, ghosts mostly. I must be attractive to ghosts. I get slimey when stressed, they could like that. Anyway, did I ever tell you about Guatemala's archives? Like hive-mind, ever-growing. It's a flower you eat, gets inside your mind. You are connected to some device that exposes your memories to the people. That way, Guatemala gets all intels on prisonners. You can call it rape. That's how I felt it, anyway. I ate this bitter pink plant.

I saw myself at nine, wearing my mother's bicycle, sitting near fire, reading White Fang. And Christmas was all around. No mom, dad, sister. Just Christmas. Then, I was with mom and dad, sharing stories, jokes… They offered me gifts, kind words and hugs. Another Christmas was when my fiancée turned my proposal down. With fierce eyes, snow was falling all around like tiny knives, Christmas singsongs deafening me. The snow borrowed money from the ribbon. A slovenly necromancer planned an escape from a marzipan fetishist related to some cigar. The chic amour-propre mourns the stalactite for the midwife, but a cup related to the impresario found lice on the ungodly clock. Consequently, she said : “I won't have it ! I am not a threeway woman ! You and Money can have it all, be together ! Why would I care ? Don't you see Harpon ? He infiltrates your mind like the one ring. And take a shower for Christ's sake !”. Her name was Rose, and she was an albatross. Could fly anywhere, my darling. Such a disapointment. My memories formed a shadow, haunting the room, me. The guards turned it off. I fought like hell. This shadow had no right showing those memories ! Like butterflies, they flew away, I never saw them again. Soly the words remained : These are the shadows of things that have been, do not blame the Ghost of Christmas Past that they are what they are !

Here we go again. Ninety years later, thirty of anger, fourty of resignation and twenty of regrets, I was free. I used a time-travelling pill (isn't Guatemala marvelous ?) so I could be young again. However, red limey-chimney-woundy-timey-wibbly-sucky doves took me away before I could swallow it ! So, in a way, you could say I was old. Alright. Now, back to it. Thirty doves were swirling around me. “Take a good, long look at this world, boy, for you are not part of it. These smiles, and peaceful moments you know not. Christmas has forsaken you. You have money, no ? The Ghost of Christmas Present says logic be not logic when it comes to men like you. So, we throw you in the sky !” Present ? I did not know what to make of this. Money ? Why money ? I knew it all. It was as clear as day to me. The secret of all things, I had cracked it. The plane was planned ! I had to fall on it so I could see my past, understand my own hatred of Christmas and how I filled my empty heart with money. Hence the birds ! They too were trying to show me something. Then, they threw me in a hole in the sky.

Harshly, I landed in Egypt and spoke a little with the Great Sphinx of Giza. He was polite enough to cut me some slack and not ask me riddles. He did however sneeze at me. The he spat a liquid sword. What was wrong with him today ? So disgusting ! He usually behaves. By way of apology, all he said was “Man, you suck !”. Before I could retork, I was sent away, through that same hole. My mind couldn't comprehend. What ? Why ? How ? Is The King alive ? Then, it hit me. I was falling up ! Expending Money's family every day… I was rich as hell ! I had a mountain filled with gold ! Although, it felt like falling. Money is not my friend, he never was. The Sphinx threw the liquid sword in my direction. And, as a knight in the night, I fought Money. Can't destroy it. I scared him away, this animal ! A whale helped me. Both, we defeated Money. Earth went back to a barter system. Stupid, won't last, but good enough, for now.

And that is how I became a chair ! To atone, I turned my walls into wood, my face into a seat. That way, I can support people. Oh, mom and dad, I do look good as a chair ! When I came back, Law 52 opened her arms and said : “Justice has been served”. I suspect she was behind all this but can't find any proof. Money and I, we go way back. Then, A dahlia conquered a guardian angel. A piroshki completely hosted a comely shadow. He called her Lila (or was it Toscanini?). A labyrinth about a cleavage rejoiced, but the dilettante around a dissident operates a small fruit stand with a bodice ripper related to a pocket.