#hes actually a cabbage kid in disguise

[jsratio74]

Just a boy..........,,,......

[kiss-me-muchoo]

𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐬 || 𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐒𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

part one: here || part two: money power glory

Summary_when Coriolanus promised to split the plinth prize with his best friend, he didn’t knew that would be enough reason for Dr. Gaul to transform you into an experiment.

Warnings_bff to enemies, asshole Coryo, violence, mutations, angst, fluff.

Note_ im back to my coriolanus shit, and nothing just listen to valley of the dolls and girl

♪ ♫ Coryo playlist ✰ Index (+ fics here)

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It was a dry fall day when Coriolanus and his family ran out of cabbage and potatoes. He was to go to Pluribus Bell and trade some belongings for food. He was a kid, and he had been struggling for a very long time now. The Capitol was slowly making its way back to what it was before the war, but it was taking longer than expected.

Tigris was out, trying to trade some of the gold earrings from Grandma’am for wood, for the upcoming winter.

At the rough age of twelve, Coriolanus Snow had been growing impatient to get older, get into University, and give his family a better life. He already knew how to disguise his lack of wealth and how to fit in with his classmates. Coriolanus had no friends, just people to blend in.

He carefully closed the door from Pluribus’ place when someone opened the door from inside, pulling him backward, and making him trip.

“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry- Coriolanus Snow?” He heard a soft female voice and when he stood up, he finally saw you.

“Y/n?…” He grew worried, wondering if any other classmates were around, hoping to be wrong, as he didn’t want to be seen.

“Hi…” you awkwardly said.

Coriolanus was indifferent to you. He disliked how he often heard you gossiping with your friends. He disliked how you always participated in debates and readings, finding it annoying. And most important, he knew you were born capitol but your family was once District 1 generations ago. You were no daughter of elite members.

“What are you doing here?” The boy asked.

You weren’t expecting to see him there. Pluribus’ customers were always… poor people, hungry. So when you saw the brown bag with two cabbages and some potatoes in Coriolanus’ bag, you didn’t even need to question.

“I come here to trade my mother’s designs for food.” Coriolanus never thought you were in a situation similar to him.

“My father served in the war, he got injured and couldn’t keep working, and my mother quit her job to take care of him. We don’t have much but we are surviving…” you added shamelessly, Coriolanus was jealous that you weren’t afraid of revealing the truth, something he couldn’t.

“I won’t tell anyone I saw you here, Coriolanus. If that’s what you want” you added after seeing him judging you quietly, giving a cold look. You had the idea of him being serious and a young man of few words, no doubt he was.

“Can I trust you?” He asked, thinking he sounded so dumb.

“I have no reason to spread details of your life. So yes, you can trust me…”

“Okay…”

“I live on the Corso…” you said and without thinking, Coriolanus smiled more than he should have.

“Me too!” His excited tone made you feel relieved.

“Can you imagine both of us living in the same place?” You asked cheerfully. Coriolanus doubted it.

“I don’t think so…”

Oh but how mistaken was he? Not only do you two live on the Corso, but you also live in the same building. He had the penthouse and your parents owned the floor below.

Coriolanus was taken aback by how calm and excited you were as you showed him your house.

The boy learned quickly that your family was doing better than his. You had a lot of things, your room had exotic wallpapers, and a lamp made of feathers was even affordable.

For the first time, Coriolanus felt like he could actually enjoy meeting someone new. Even better if it was in his safe space, his home, and the source of his identity.

And that’s how you turned out to be the only person Coriolanus allowed to know about his situation.

…

Exactly five years later, Coriolanus was coming back from the market where he had traded a watch for some black dressing pants. Even though the Plinth Prize had been only announced two days ago, Coriolanus was already thinking about clothing for the occasion. He was out of breath by the time he hit your floor. And he was not going to stop by your place but he grew curious when he saw you tending a big piece of dark grey crinkled fabric. You had your long hair curled up, wearing slippers, a nightgown, and a robe.

He smiled, wondering how important could that fabric be to not acknowledge him.

“What you got there?” You quickly looked up, slightly embarrassed that Coriolanus caught you in your pajamas.

“I know it’s early, but my mom and I had an idea for a set. In case you know-“ you feel like you sound very narcissistic, hinting that you could possibly win the Plinth prize. Coriolanus and you were exceptional in school. And the only “friends” you could count were Clemensia, Festus, and Sejanus, although they were slightly behind you and the blonde.

“I had the same idea,” Coriolanus said, walking closer, showing you the black pants in his arm.

You smile at him, feeling reassured that you both thought the same. You knew the young man judged you once. But now, he had no reason to. Or so you believed.

He was very close to turning eighteen in the first months of the approaching year, you had also thought about buying him a present.

“Come inside. I need to tell you something…” he nodded, but gulped, thinking the worst.

You shut the door and Coriolanus noticed it smelled sweet.

“Oh, I’m baking something… I would like to share it with you and your family” The boy blushed at you noticing how hungry he was and also because it was very kind of you to share given the circumstances.

“You don’t have to, y/n”

“But I want to.…” he rolled his eyes, chuckling, tenderly accepting your good intentions.

“I don’t have anything to give you back. But we made a promise. Remember?” You nod, smiling softly at him.

Coriolanus is your best friend. Although Clemensia, Festus, and even Arachne were close friends, no one compared to Coryo.

“I do, but…”

“No, y/n. No matter what, we are splitting the prize. Both of us are going to university together.” He seriously said.

In the most inconvenient way, Coriolanus had found an ally. He knew most of his classmates since he was a little child, but after getting to know you, he understood it wasn’t the same. He was grateful for having you.

“That’s why I wanted to talk to you. Sit…” Coriolanus walked towards your kitchen table. He realized your parents were gone. Which made him wonder where were they.

The place smelled like corn syrup and roses. Deep down, probably those two were his favorite things. He craved sweet things and the roses reminded him of his mother and her powder.

“So?…” he inquired, you were a little busy placing some towels on the table.

“My mother found a job in a fabric store, in a couple of weeks she’ll be able to refer Tigris. She’ll be able to leave the work with Fabricia” his eyes went wide, a smile immediately growing on his face.

“And not only that. My father accepted to work as a secretary in the offices of the Capitol’s congress” he couldn’t be jealous of the success of your parents when they were offering to help Tigris. He went up to give you a hug.

“That’s great news, dear” you hugged him back. He smelled like cedar and roses. You remembered the flowers his grandmother sent the day before.

“If things go right. My father could get us a job there after the Academy. And we’d have more money to pay the university’s tuition” he nodded, unconsciously hiding his face in your neck. The closure made you blush, it wasn’t like you and the boy hugged very often. But you appreciated it.

“I have faith we’ll have a bright future, Coryo. I really do”

“Thank you, for everything you and your family have done,” the blonde said.

“You are like family too. It’s nothing…” you reply, breaking the hug to check at the oven.

Coriolanus eyes you. He catches the smell of your hair, patchouli, and herbs. He smiles, looking at your clean face and old nightgown. He can’t deny you’ve grown into a gorgeous woman. But he blocks the thoughts from flowing further.

“I made bread pudding.” You knew it was his favorite.

And his smile only grew. When Tigris had the chance to steal from Fabricia and his waste, she made a classical bread pudding. But you were able to do a more sophisticated one. With cherry blossom powder that your mother had. The bread was more wet and less like fudge. Coriolanus loved it ever since he tried back two years during the holidays.

“I’m really liking this day” he admits, making you chuckle as you place the dessert literally in his face.

…

Reaping day wasn’t your favorite. You didn’t hate the districts but you didn’t like how they tried to destroy the Capitol. Nonetheless, the Hunger Games weren’t part of your fond morals. Having the privilege of being a mentor for the first time ever in the history of the games, wasn’t as exciting as it sounded. The only good thing is that it would lead to being closer to knowing who won the Plinth prize.

Months had passed and the day had finally arrived. You slipped into the two-piece set your mother made for you. A blazer and a long circle skirt in dark grey. An old pair of black boots that belonged to your grandmother and were in excellent condition, the leather felt nice and the heels added elegance to your outfit.

You never felt intimidated by not being part of the elite and being considered “poor” and it tore you to see Coriolanus feel like he wasn’t enough. Like the grate was of his last name had to loosen power.

So when you called him through the phone to see if he was ready, he said you should go first, showing a display of a little panic attack because Tigris hadn’t returned with the shirt he was to wear.

As much as you protested and said you would wait for him, he made you leave saying you couldn’t be late.

So you did.

When you stepped out of the building, you encountered Persephone, Coriolanus’ neighbor. The blonde had said once that Persephone and Clemensia were probably the prettiest girls from class. Which made you feel terrible but you ignored it from the moment it happened.

“Hey… Are you ready for today?” She asked.

“Yes… totally” You weren’t happy, to be honest, but you showed her your best smile.

“Why is Coriolanus not with you? He’s always attached to you…” the comment makes you smile nervously. Although you knew most of your classmates and had literally grown up along them, you never knew what kind of assimilation they had about you and Coriolanus.

“Oh, he woke up late. I wanted to wait for him, but he literally obliged me to go on” Persephone giggled, urging you to cross the street.

“That boy is head over heels for you…”

“Oh my goodness, Persephone. That’s not true…” she laughs, her lilac makeup and crimson lips making her look even more pretty.

“Trust me, y/n… There are even bets on the year you two will tie the knot!” Her comment makes you so embarrassed.

“We’re here!” You say changing the subject.

Heavensbee Hall is full of students and faculty. A lot of them say to you because it wasn’t a secret that your friendly demeanor and good grades made you more popular than Persephone.

When make it to the talk with Felix, Festus, and Arachne, you spot Clemensia entering the event along with Coriolanus.

At first glance, you tried to ignore the mixed feelings you caught after Persephone’s comments and seeing the man you quietly doted on the girl he considered the most beautiful.

“That can’t be y/n y/l/n! That’s a model!” you finally turn when you hear Clemmie, which makes you smile shyly.

Coriolanus finally spots you and he gulps. Every day, he saw you wearing opaque tones. He knew you craved vivid colors and exotic makeup, your mother was an unemployed fashion designer after all. Having the chance to wear elegant clothes and highlighting your skin with splotches of berry colors was a sight for Coriolanus. His hands felt sweaty and numb, a familiar feeling he started developing whenever you were close.

He walked straight towards you, taking a last sip of the posca he disliked. You smile at him, accommodating the rosebud attached to his heart. The action caught the attention of all your classmates and friends, who quietly gossiped or exchanged looks.

“That’s a gorgeous shirt, Coryo” he smiled.

“Tigris and your mother are my saviors” he whispered in your ear, which sent shivers to you.

You and your friends are called out to take a seat as the reaping is about to start. You end up seated between Coriolanus and Sejanus. And suddenly you find yourself lost in your thoughts, wondering who you would be mentoring. It’s all you could truly think about since you woke up. But suddenly, Coriolanus makes you come back to life.

“It’s going to be okay…” he said to which you replied with a little smile.

“By the way, you look very pretty…” your heart pounds as he whispers in your ear for the second time. Your smile grows along the blush creeping on your face.

“Really?” You feel so stupid after asking that. You didn’t want him to think you needed validation.

“Every day you look pretty, but I rarely see you with color in your face” he admits and it sends you to death the fact that he proceeded to grab your hand and give it a squeeze.

He didn’t know why he did that, but it felt right.

Something weird happened, you both felt a spark.

…

Watching kids fighting for their lives in the most gruesome way wasn’t appealing. Your eyes are on the little girl from District 8, your tribute; Wovey. The last time you saw her in the zoo before the games started, she made you cry so badly. She was just a little girl and the fact that she had smiled at you, saying how beautiful your dress was, made you understand every word Sejanus said.

The districts deserved to pay? Yes. But why not make them pay extra taxes, or limit their supplies? Why do you have to scavenge food for a little girl who is likely to die?

Sejanus had walked out after seeing what happened to his tribute. The bloodbath had been disgusting to watch. And as the hours pass as you sit along Coriolanus and other classmates watching your tributes, the weight of the events that happened on the previous days hit you. The moment you saw the rainbow-ruffled skirt from Lucy Gray Baird, you knew it would mark a before and after.

It was like her appearance in Coriolanus’ life had worsened everything for everyone surrounding him. First was Arachne, then Clemensia, whose image still haunted you with the scales and yellow eyes. Then the rebel bombing. It had been a long time since felt fear. You felt alone because you protected Wovey. But nobody protected you. The blurred sight of Coriolanus clinging to the ruffles of Lucy Gray’s skirt and calling for her as the medics took him away was very present.

You look down at your lap, the skirt of the uniform was on, but not the pants, since your leg was still bandaged from the burns you suffered the day of the bombing.

There’s a drift between you and Coriolanus since the day of the reaping. He appeared at the zoo and at night told you it wasn’t planned, he practically ignored you whenever he visited Lucy Gray but squeezed your hand the day of Arachne’s funeral. He confided to you what happened with Clemensia but refused to console you when she appeared in the hospital while you took care of Coriolanus.

The only good thing is that your parents were making a name. They were getting popular and you loved seeing them happy. Unfortunately, just as they were finding happiness, you were losing it.

You kept losing friend after friend. Clemensia ignored you moments before the games started. Arachne was gone, and Sejanus looked beyond depressed. And Coriolanus was falling for District scum.

How could he even inquire if the songbird was almost Capitol during the interviews?

Maybe you were a hypocrite for claiming Sejanus as a friend, who once was District and called it his home. But you despised Lucy Gray for wearing the clothes and makeup you craved, for being naturally charming and unconsciously revolving around most of your problems.

You have been quiet for hours, only having eyes for little Wovey.

Coriolanus glances at you frequently. And he can see the sad look on your face. He couldn’t ignore you had been changed since the reaping. The happy and positive girl he knew was slowly morphing into some lost panicked mentor.

The moment the games started, Coriolanus realized how hard it was for you to look after Wovey, one of the youngest tributes he had seen. The guilt of being such a bad friend started rubbing him in the wrong way.

Which is why he found himself constantly looking at you to see how you were doing.

But when he looks back, you’re gone. Most of the people watching the first day are gone.

It’s just Dr. Gaul telling him Sejanus entering the arena.

…

The tension was escalating. Coriolanus couldn’t sleep, not even with the cold shower that resulted nice for the heat. All he could think was about Sejanus and him running for their lives. He killed a boy. There was blood on his hands. He desperately called you but you didn’t answer. He went to bed thinking of Lucy Gray hiding in the arena and you practically ignoring him. And just when he was about to doze off with the memory of the kiss Lucy Gray gave him, his eyes opened abruptly.

He remembered the promise you two made.

When he walked back to Heavensbee Hall for the second day of the games, he could hear Lucky Flickerman giving the broadcast. He went straight to you, firstly noticing how you caressed your knuckles, showing that you were anxious.

“Could you sleep?” He asked, taking a seat beside you. You glanced at him, only to bow your head, back to your knuckles.

“I took some pills…” he frowned, confused.

“Pills?…”

“It’s nothing, Coryo. Just melatonin pills, to help me sleep well.” He nodded, not fully convinced.

“I’m sorry for being… distant,” he said, to which you shrugged, crossing your arms.

“It’s okay. We all have acquired different problems since the reaping. You have just been busy with your rainbow girl” Your tone distilled bitterness when you mentioned Lucy Gray, which didn’t go unnoticed by Coriolanus.

“When one of the two of us wins, it’ll be like before, but better.” he knew it wouldn’t.

“It’ll never be the same. Arachne is gone, Clemesia out of herself, Sejanus defying Gaul, the Ring twins' death… You’re already changing” he quickly took your hand, ignoring the way some people could be looking at him.

“I’m not. We’re family… you’re special. And I will always fight for you, y/n” his comment lit a fire inside you. You give him a little smile. But he knows you’re still blue.

Right when he was closer to admitting he had feelings for you, Lucy Gray appeared, withdrawing any plan he could have. And now he was confused about you.

Perhaps you only saw him as your best friend. Which is why he didn’t suppress the emotions Lucy Gray made him feel.

…

No-no, no, no, no, no… NO!

Every mentor and attendant in Heavensbee Hall heard you whisper until you literally screamed. The little Wovey had drank the water with poison. Tears immediately swelled in your eyes and you stood up, splashing the room with sorrow.

Even Capitol people felt emotional about the little girl slowly dying unbeknownst to her. Even Livia Cardew looked at you with empathy when you walked past her.

Even Clemensia, briefly looked at Coriolanus silently asking if she should go to follow you, but he told her he was going.

And he did. He followed you outside the room, finding you on one of the stairs leading to another hallway. Your hands covered your face, but he could hear you sobbing.

You felt terrible. You knew Wovey was likely to die, but that didn’t stop the pain. Adding all the strong emotions you’ve dealt with in the past days made you explode.

You just wanted your best friend. Regardless of his unrequited feelings, you needed him.

And he magically appeared.

When you wiped your eyes, he approached you. He took a seat beside you and caressed your shoulder.

“You’re not okay.” He said, to which you shook your head.

“I’m feeling the same as you. Only that I’m a crier and you’re not…” Coriolanus briefly smiled, appreciating your profile.

He faced the woman who knew all of him. The only woman that could ever understand him. And the only one who would care for him enough aside from his family.

“You were closer to Arachne than me. With Clemensia too. And your tribute was closer to being a baby again than she was to become a teenager…” new tears poured down and Coriolanus cursed himself for making you cry again.

“Is she finally gone?…” he nodded at you.

“You have to win, Coryo. You must win… This suffering must be worth it for one of us at least”

“If I win, you’re also in. We said it the day the prize was announced. We’re in this together…” Once again, he grabbed your hand again. And just when he was about to move away because you weren’t reciprocating the touch, you caressed his fingers, interlocking your hand with his.

“Lately I’ve been missing you a lot…” you confessed and it nearly made him blush.

“Why?…” it was dumb but he needed to hear something, he needed to comprehend.

“Well…. Because I need you, Coriolanus” his heart thumping and shaky hands prevented him from doing something stupid, but he offered you a lovely smile that you reciprocated.

He was about to say… “I need you too, y/n. Let me kiss you so I can accept whatever I feel for Lucy Gray is a whim”.

But he couldn’t. Because Festus appeared, looking for you two.

“Dr. Gaul wants you two back…” he said.

“Thanks, Festus” you thanked him.

And all the way to the room of commands, Coriolanus held your hand.

When the snakes landed on the arena of the games, Coriolanus stood up. When Lucy Gray was officially the winner, he went running to Tigris. But when he spun to hug you, he didn’t contain.

He grabbed your face and leaned to kiss you. The crowd cheered even harder, believing you two would officially begin a romance after years of uncertainty. You kissed him back, savoring the moment and feeling glad you didn’t give up on him.

“We won, y/n.” He whispered in your lips.

“We won, Coryo” You smiled, out of breath, and kissed him again.

…

His brain wasn’t thinking clearly. Coriolanus had messed up everything. He was being punished for his lies. Serving as a peacekeeper and leaving the Capitol was one thing. But for 20 years?

Perhaps he could follow Lucy Gray to District 12, just to see how was she. But 20 years was too long… especially when you were the woman he intended to marry one day.

He could say goodbye to his place in the University, he could say goodbye to paying the tax of his home. And he certainly could say goodbye to you.

But his biggest fear was that he slipped out you had the idea of the rat poison. Coriolanus was aware you said it vaguely, and he never told you he actually cheated.

As he walked out of Highbottom’s office, completely downcast, wondering how he would break down the news.

“Hey… Are you okay?” His nervousness grew as he watched you walk escorted by two peacekeepers.

“What are you doing?” You shrugged.

“Dr. Gaul wants to see me…” Coriolanus frowned. Was the lunatic going to punish you?

“And you? What are you doing here?” he bit his tongue. He couldn’t tell you yet. But probably it would be worse to wait and tell you in the morning, just when he was supposed to leave for the districts.

“The dean… he wanted to talk to me about the disbursement of the prize”

The guilt started killing him the moment you smiled at him. You leaned, stepped on your tiptoes, and gave him a gentle peck.

It took him by surprise, but caressed your cheeks and kissed you back.

“I’ll see you at home?….” He nodded, pressing his forehead with yours, knowing he probably wouldn’t see you again. His eyes watered and he tried to stop time.

But it was inevitable because you gave him one last smile and you passed by him, followed by the peacekeepers.

Chills assaulted him, but he thought everything was going to be okay. At least for you.

…

For a couple of days, he was able to forget about you. But soon when Sejanus asked how were, the guilt felt like a bucket of ice blocks falling all over him.

He lied, saying you were okay. But Lucy Gray knew he wasn’t being truthful. Coriolanus confessed to her. The songbird found it very hard to admit that Coriolanus’ true love was you. Perhaps he followed her to her home, he was making her happy. But the blonde was Capitol, he would always prefer his people and his girl.

“You have waited too long, darling. Please call her and at least apologize” she said throwing some rocks at the lake in front of them.

“She’s probably mad at me…”

“More the reason to fight for her” Coriolanus glanced at her confused. But Lucy Gray rolled her eyes playfully.

“Look…” she reached for a purple flower. She cut it and showed it to Coriolanus.

“From what I’ve heard of y/n… is that she is important. You said once she’s your best friend. Think of her like this flower, which is a hydrangea. They have medicinal properties and they are very pretty… but they’re delicate. So I think you would prefer to keep her nurtured. Because she’s special…” Coriolanus sighed.

He couldn’t say to Lucy Gray he was scared of losing you because it would mean that all he did the moment he bribed the secretary of the military deferment wasn’t worth it. He came to the twelve because he wanted to be with Lucy Gray, but he had some unresolved feelings for you.

It was so confusing.

“I’ll call her tomorrow during my break…” Lucy Gray nodded, knowing that after that call many things could change. But it was the right thing to do. Because you were innocent.

…

The jabberjays awakened something inside him. The possibility of finding a reason to be sent back to the Capitol sounded very attractive. But all was forgotten when he requested to call your apartment. In the same building, he called home.

He gulped nervously before a female voice picked up the call. Your mother.

“Hello?” She asked.

“Mrs. Y/l/n… It’s Coriolanus” she sighed, the blonde could almost see her nodding.

“Oh, Coriolanus. What a surprise to hear from you…”

“I guess y/n told you I was sent to serve as a peacekeeper” he admitted, surprised to hear your mother didn’t want to kill him for hurting you.

”Coriolanus… y/n has been sick since the day the hunger games closed” he frowned, holding the phone closer to his ear.

“What?…”

“Apparently she was working in the laboratories in the Citadel with Dr. Gaul. She caught a virus and has been quarantined. I’m so desperate to see her again. Her father has been asking but Dr. Gaul says she’ll be fine in a couple of weeks.”

Coriolanus immediately thought back on Clemensia and the “flu” she caught. But now, it was ten times worse.

Did Gaul punish you for helping him to cheat in the games? Were you dead?

His hands started shaking.

“As soon as I’m back in the Capitol. I’ll try to ask for more information. She’ll be okay…” he tried to soothe your mother, but he was already freaking out.

So he didn’t have situate to send jabberjays with the recording of Sejanus revealing his rebel plans. All so he could go back to you.

…

He didn’t regret it. Because as soon as he stepped into the Citadel, back at home, it felt right.

“Welcome back to the Capitol, Mr. Snow,” said Dr. Gaul, tending her water mutts and giving him a sadic smile.

He stood silent for a couple of seconds. Debating whether to ask you or not.

“I know what you’re thinking about, boy,” she said, walking down the stairs of the mutt's cage.

Coriolanus remained silent, carefully eyeing her.

“She couldn’t get away if she was also guilty for putting in your head that silly idea for you to cheat during the games” he gulped, nervous.

“Have you talked with her parents?”

“Just with her mother once. They think she’s sick and will be fine in a couple of weeks. But they’re worried…” he admitted, trying to act relaxed.

“Oh sure they are worried. I heard the man is going straight to the president’s cabinet. And the mother, already spreading her wings in the fashion tendencies…” Coriolanus wasn’t aware that during his time away your parents had spent all of their time working to try to not worry too much about you. To gain power and find a quicker way to be with you.

“I didn’t know…”

“She was very angry when she learned you had lied to her…”

How was he supposed to keep his composure with that talk?

“I never intended to hurt her” he hated to admit that. He couldn’t be vulnerable. But it crumbled just because it was about you.

“Ah, young love. It’s so dangerous because it makes us weak…”

“Is she alive?…” he tried to change the subject.

“You just have to say you want her back and she’ll be in the Capitol’s hospital in a couple of days” he grew more worried.

“She can’t die… or stop being her”

“The snakes in your other friend really triggered you…” Gaul mocked, laughing.

With that lunatic mentoring him, he had to pull out a stronger card. Something that would compromise him as well so she had no choice but to let you go at once.

“I intend to marry her.” The woman stopped laughing, only to look at him, trying to find the lie in his words, but there wasn’t.

“Brave girl to conquer the heart of a Snow…” and with that, she started walking towards another room in the big laboratory.

The room of voxels and human mutations. He grew anxious until Dr. Gaul pointed out a big water tank.

Coriolanus holds a big breath of terror. He tries his best to remain still. But he felt fear. Just when he thought nothing could ever hurt him again, he had to encounter you in the worst possible way.

“What a shame, she was responding very well. Even looks like a mythological monster”

“Is she going to be… human again?”

“With patience, yes. I’ll let you know when we move her to the hospital. It would be nice if you gave the news to her parents. You know, given you’re the reason she almost ended up with a mermaid tail.”

There rested your naked unconscious body, almost completely covered in salmon scales. Your legs seemed to be slowly disappearing, as the scales were tangling them from your hips to your knees. Your hair was matted and your lashes seemed oddly long.

Coriolanus walked home. He couldn’t take the trolley. The walk seemed short, even with the approaching winter. Your image was haunting him. He couldn’t keep the secret to Tigris when he came back home. He pretended to have a giant smile on his face when he blurted that the Plinths made him heir of their fortune. And he tried to ignore the memory of the elevator indicating the name of your floor.

“But she’s going to be okay?” Tigris asked worried.

“Dr. Gaul said so…”

“I thought she was busy trying to get into the university… her parents rarely appeared to be around too”

Coriolanus remembered what he said back in the laboratory.

“I told Dr. Gaul I’m marrying her” Her cousin opened her eyes in disbelief.

“So she could release her?”

“Yes. But also because… I always thought of it.”

“Are you conscious she’s likely to be mad at you for leaving without answers?” Coriolanus nodded, knowing very well you had plenty of reasons to hate him. But there was no going back.

”Very aware…”

“Then you’ll show her again the fine man you are. You remind her why you were best friends.” He was no good man. He killed people to get to the top. But he wouldn’t be that man to you. You were the only one who could possibly understand him and keep his filthy secrets.

“Snow lands on top” Tigris whispered.

Coriolanus turned to look at a picture of you. He and his family love you so much, you had your own portrait in the Snow Penthouse. The first your mother designed was pink and you wore it. You were always very pretty to the eyes of everyone. But only at that moment Coriolanus appreciated your beauty. The he looked at another picture, the one of you two during the reaping ceremony. His tailored shirt and your handmade clothes. That girl and boy were long gone.

But Coriolanus had done so much damage to step back. With Sejanus and Highbottom gone, he had secured a place in the Capitol. Lucy Gray couldn’t hurt him anymore. All he had to do was to win the girl that once belonged to him.

Giving one last look at the picture of you two, he smiled.

“Snow lands on top…” he answered back to Tigris.

_________

[captainkirkk]

Currently thinking about an atla au where almost everything is the same except it takes place in the modern world

Just the sheer chaos of blurry photos of the gaang being snapped across the globe. The cabbage merchant has uploaded the most of them and they’re all captioned with full caps, no grammar, boomer-style

Appa must be faster than cars, but what about planes? What the fuck are the gaang going to do against PLANES? The fear of an aerial assault might actually slow their journey down a lot

Also the thought of Aang emerging from the iceberg and not only finding century-old skeletons, but photos from the days/years following the massacre.... Photography was relatively new, so the images are blurred and uncoloured but still fairly clear. Do you think anyone photographed the aftermath? The generals celebrating the defeat. The pillagers ravaging the temples.

A less morbid thought: there would be hundreds if not thousands of forum boards speculating about the Avatar’s disappearance and Zuko would be on ALL of them. His username is well-known on the boards, though no one knows who this weirdly aggressive but well-traveled dude is

The White Lotus probably has a group chat/fb page disguised as a pai sho fan club where they trade information via coded discussions about the game. Bumi communicates almost entirely in gifs.

Information control is already a huge thing in atla, but in a modern au? Ba Sing Se would have insane media control and online filters. Any posts about the war are taken down and the culprit tracked. If there was a rebellion in Ba Sing Se, it would be from the tech savy population who can get around the censorship

Speaking of media: can you imagine the media attention on the royal family in the Fire Nation? The media would adore Iroh and Lu Ten and either ignore or occasionally criticize Ozai - until Lu Ten died, then the press tears Iroh to pieces and becomes Fire Lord Ozai’s unofficial fanclub overnight.

Azula is the media darling of the Fire Nation. Zuko is praised as often as he is criticized. In canon, the pressure already fucked with these kids, but can you imagine if they had tabloids and a 24-hour news cycle? Zuko’s banishment is warped and vague, and yet covered extensively. Photos of the banished prince sold to tabloids for a fortune in the weeks after his exile - until Ozai shuts that down, then he vanishes from the public’s eyes until Aang returns, then Zuko goes through periods of blind, worshipful praise by the press and intense negativity and hate, swinging wildly between the two extremes. The media will always be extremely polarised around him, until he eventually retires and hands the crown to Izumi. Only then will the press drop their hostility and talk about him as if he has always been the Fire Nation’s darling

Also he looks painfully awkward in every single photo the press take of him. His PR person has tried to coach him on body language with limited success

After Book 2, Azula gets a very similar treatment to Zuko. But while Zuko grew up criticised and hated and learnt to ignore it, Azula has always been adored. So when the press starts documenting her downward spiral, starts questioning her perfection, she loses it

Years later, when she’s an adult, she learns how to bait and play the press like a cat toying with a mouse, laughing at every negative article posted about her or Zuko. But for now, she’s fourteen and never been anything other than perfect and the pressure is killing her

Momo has his own insta. It’s wildly popular. Most of the canon characters are following it, including Zuko and Iroh - the former for any possible hints on the Avatar’s location, the latter because he thinks Momo is very cute

He has a twitter too. For some reason. It has 5x the amount of followers as Sokka’s twitter account and Sokka is SO bitter about it

Ty Lee is a very successful influencer

Do you think there’s a “#ty lee is over party” when it’s revealed she committed Actual Real-Life War Crimes?? I’m losing my mind

[forever-more-never-again]

Light and Dark (Part One)

Word Count: 2879

Pairings: Zuko X Avatar!Reader, Aang X Avatar!Reader, Platonic!Katara X Reader, Platonic!Sokka X Reader, Platonic!Toph X Reader

Warnings: None

A/n: So, I really love Avatar the Last Airbender and had this thought and well...I’ve started another Series that will have irregular updates! Heheheh....

Matsterlist

The smoky skies of the Fire Nation filled your lungs as you drew a deep breath. In all your years, you never thought you would end up back here. 

Your homeland.

Taking another deep breath, you fixed the scarf that covered your face and began walking through the marketplace on the outskirts of the Fire Nation. 

The palace loomed over you like a dangerous shadow. A reminder of why you escaped all those years ago.

“Princess Azula!” The hushed urgent whispers reached your ears and you flinched.

Stepping into a tea shop, you turn your face away so that anyone walking outside wouldn’t see it.

“Well, Hello there. Could I interest you in some Jasmine Tea? Good for soothing nerves and calming the mind.”

Your attention was diverted from the danger lurking outside to the stout middle aged man standing before you with a welcoming smile.

You couldn’t help but return the smile, as your felt your muscles relax from their constant tension, “Yes...I think, I think I would like a cup.”

You let yourself be led to a small table in the corner, you couldn’t help but smirk as you realized the man had put you in a table where you had easy access to the back door, and a wide view of the entire store and front door. 

“I’ll have my nephew come right out with a pot of tea for you-”

The man’s relaxed nature and easy going smile made it easy for you to reply with no hesitation.

“[Y-].” You stopped and cleared your throat, giving a fake first name, “Chen Ikem.”

A flash of confusion and then understanding flew through the man’s brown eyes. And you couldn’t help but grow slightly worried. You should have also used a fake last name.

After all...Ikem was the last name of the late Fire Nation Queen. It wasn’t a very common last name. And if anyone caught a look at your face and put it together with the wanted posters that were from years ago, you would be dead before you could ask for mercy.

Heaving a heavy sigh, you sunk into your chair, eyes vigilant as they scanned the small tea shop. There were only a few patrons. Mainly older generation fire nation males. You could easily take them if worse came to worse.

“Your tea.”

The brusque voice broke you out of your analyzing. Gaze going up, only to freeze in fear as you saw a young man with an eyepatch, a single gold eye staring down at the teapot he held morosely, his black hair slicked back. 

You knew who it was. Even with the scar covered. This changed everything.

“I...I have to go!” You jerked out of your seat, startling Prince Zuko into dropping the teapot.

The shattering of porcelain caught everyone's attention. The elderly man, who you now realized was General Iroh-

Oh my god you couldn’t be caught by General Iroh and the banished Prince!

-came out from the backroom with a frown, and a shimmer of tears in his eyes, “What a waste of perfectly good tea.”

Zuko, however was staring at you as you jumped over the table, the scarf around your face falling down to the floor, soaking up the tea.

“[Y/n]?”

The small voice. Reminiscent of a younger prince, who still had hope and love, made you pause for a split second, your eyes catching his.

A pained smile flashed across your face before you vanished out the back door. Escaping into the crowd.

Distantly, you heard his footsteps run behind you, his voice louder, “Wait!”

But you knew how to disappear, and with a scarf snatched from a stand and bumping into a group of young women, and you were gone.

Faintly you heard his curses. But they soon faded as you walked with the group of young women further into the Fire Nation.

A memory flashed in your head as you walked. Remembering when you had been a simple servant girl in the Fire Nation Palace. Playing with the Prince. Laughing together. Kissing his bruised knuckles when he got in fights. The innocence of children long gone now.

Every since you discovered that you were not just a fire bender. 

You were the Avatar. 

Which carried a death sentence.

Shaking off the memory and the sadness it carried. You slipped away from the group and began walking by yourself.

You had come to the Fire Nation for a reason. Breaking your promise to never return. For one reason and one reason only.

A family in the Earth Kingdom had told you about their daughter, who was blind, running away with a group of unusual people. One of who, they claimed, was the Avatar.

And that caught your interest. According to history and lore, there was only ever one Avatar per cycle. Because the spirit of Raava was a single entity, unable to be duplicated. 

So why were you, a Fire Bender by birth, able to water bend and earth bend? 

It made no sense, especially considering the last Avatar had been a firebender. The cycle dictated that another Firebender wouldn’t be the avatar until after three avatar cycles. 

The confusion hasn't stopped you from learning other bendings though. After escaping the Palace and traveling the world, you had picked up Water bending from an old warrier in the Earth Kingdom, and learned Earth bending from a wacky traveling group of merchant’s.

“My cabbages!”

A strangled cry caught your attention, along with the sight that was with it.

Four young teenagers stood around an overturned stall of cabbages. The vendor yelling at them to pay for damages.

Sneaking closer, your eyes widened as you saw the white eyes of the short woman. Blind.

Looking at the others, you noticed the blue eyes of one of the males and females. Not Fire Nation.

And the smallest male...could he be the airbender that everyone was saying was the Avatar?

As the four took off running away from the vendor, you decided to follow them. Sticking to shadows and alleyways, you keep them in your sight.

They left the inner city and began walking towards the rocky caverns of the mountain side. But before you could see what they were doing out there, you found your feet encased in stone.

“Why are you following us!?” The blind girl shouted, suddenly appearing right in front of you.

The two blue eyed teens took up fighting stances. And the small male looked at you in disguised fear.

You quickly held up your hands, “Woah! Hey, I mean no harm.”

The tall male snorted, “That’s what they all say! You’re Fire Nation!”

Your shoulders tensed before relaxing, your gaze dropped to the ground in shame, “Yes. Though I wish I was not. And according to the palace, I am merely a traitor.”

The small male stepped forward, ignoring the warning looks of his companions. You caught his eyes with yours.

“What do you mean?”

You breathed out through your nose heavily, before dropping your hands. And the stone encasing your feet disappeared back into the ground.

“Toph! Don’t release the prisoner!”

The blind girl blinked, confused, “I didn’t.”

Your snort laugh caught their attention again, “That’s what I meant. I think...no, I know...I’m the Avatar.”

A pause. Silence. And then an uproar.

“What!?” “That’s bullshi-”

“How!?”

Before the girl stepped forward, brandishing water in her hands. A waterbender.

“You’re lying. A Firebender can’t be the Avatar. And I know for a fact who the true avatar is.”

Quickly growing tired of this, you drew the water that she held with her bending to you, wrapping it around you.

Her eyes widened in fear.

“I’ve never heard of this from the Monks. It shouldn’t be possible.”

The small male stepped forward, eyes wide in awe and confusion.

Deciding it was past time for introductions, you dropped the water and held out a hand, “My name is [Y/n] Ikem. I left the Fire Nation years ago after discovering I could Earth Bend alongside my Main Firebending abilities. I lived in the Palace as a servant and know the inner workings of it like the back of my hand. I heard about a blind girl traveling with the possible avatar and that information led me to you.”

The blind girl started before she muttered, “My parents.” And scoffing in irritation.

Sokka pulled a boomerang out from behind him, welding it dangerously at you, “You’re working for Zuko! I knew it!”

Your eyes widened and you flung your hands wildly in front of you, “No! No! I promise! I’m actually hiding from him and Princess Azula! They have a bounty on my head.”

The short kid nodded, looking off in the distance for a moment before turning to you and smiling.

“I’m Aang. I’m the airbender Avatar.”

The female beside him gasped, “Aang! You can’t just give this person that sort of information! How can we trust them!? Sokka could be right, they could be working for Prince Zuko!”

The other male stepped forward, eyeing you suspiciously, “Yeah. How do we know they aren’t trying to play mind games with their-their mind!”

Aang looked at his group, “My gut is telling me that they speak the truth. And you guys know I need a Fire Bender teacher. They could be it.”

Aang grinned sheepishly at you, “This is Katara and Sokka, from the Southern Water Tribe, and this is Toph, from the Earth Kingdom.”

You bowed low, hands clasped in front of you, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Aang laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head, “So...uh...you can bend other elements.”

You smiled wryly, “Yes.”

Aang sighed, looking at Katara with a plea in his eyes. Whatever silent communication they did, seemed to work as Katara sighed loudly and waved her hand towards the cave they had been heading towards.

“Alright [Y/n], you can come with us. But one step out of place and-”

You laughed, “I know, I know. One step out of place and you end me. I get it.”

Walking in the giant cave, a loud rumble drew your attention to the back end.

You gasped, “Is that a Sky Bison!? I thought they were all extinct!?”

Sokka scoffed behind you, muttering maliciously, “Yeah thanks to the Fire Nation.”

Deciding to ignore him for now, you ran towards the giant white beast with stars in your eyes as you stared into his intelligent brown eyes.

“That’s Appa,” You squealed in surprise as a small flying monkey creature landed on your shoulder causing Aang to laugh as he stepped up next to you, “And that is Momo.”

You chuckled, scratching Momo under his chin, “Well hello Momo.” You turned back to Appa and bowed your head, “And Appa.”

Katara’s voice was loud and icy as she exclaimed, “So...Are we going to figure out what is going on? Why there are two Avatars at one time?”

You and Aang shared a look, both of you were in new territory.

Sighing you walked to where some stones were upraised to be used as seats. Toph already relaxed in one, Sokka and Katara on edge, glaring at you.

Aang tilted his head, “Have you managed to travel into the spirit world?”

You shake your head, “I’ve tried, but I seemed to be blocked. I once entered the Avatar state when I was attacked by some Fire Nation Patrols, but I haven’t done it again since.”

Aang sits down on the ground, legs crossed over each other, hands relaxed on his knees in a lotus pose, he looked at you expectantly.

Curious, you copied his movements, sitting right across from him.

He grinned at you, “Okay. So just...open your mind. Don’t think. Just...be. Allow you spirit to float freely from your physical body. Hopefully the Spirit World can give us some answers about what is happening.”

You nodded and closed your eyes.

Clearing your mind took a few minutes, but then you did it.

You felt a tug, and then weightlessness. Opening your eyes cautiously, you gasped.

You were floating above your body.

Looking over, you saw Aang’s spirit was watching you with a childish grin.

“Freaky, right?”

Noticing the lack of reaction from everyone else, who were watching your bodies closely, Aang elaborated, “They can’t see or hear us.”

Reaching out, he took your hand, “Come on. Let’s see if the previous Avatar’s have some insight.”

And in a rush of wind, you were flying. Images blurred as you fly at speeds you thought impossible.

And when you stopped abruptly, you noticed where Aang had brought you. The Avatar temple in the Air Nomad Nation.

Statues of every Avatar past, stared down at you with stone eyes.

Aang walked up to the latest one, Avatar Roku.

You silently watched in awe as a blue glow illuminated the statue, and then a copy of the statue stepped out. The spirit of Avatar Roku.

He smiled down at Aang gently, “What is it this time young Avatar Aang?”

Aang looked back at you and waved you forward.

Cautiously, you stood next to Aang.

Avatar Roku looked at you in shock and horror, “No. This can’t be possible. It shouldn’t be possible.”

Drawing a breath of courage, you looked at Avatar Roku, “What do you mean? Why are there two Avatars this cycle? Why has a firebender gained the Avatar abilities so soon after the last Fire Nation Avatar?”

Avatar Roku glanced between you and Aang, silent for a long moment, the horror in his eyes never fading, “It’s a sign. A sign of change. Of unbalance. Vaatu is within you, young [Y/n]. As Raava is within young Aang here.”

Aang thankfully shared the same confused look as you, which you found comforting.

Avatar Roku sighed, and waved you both forward. You stepped forward and simultaneously also back in time.

You watched in awe, alongside Aang, as you witness the birth of the first Avatar. Wan. And the connection of the Avatars with the Spirit of light. And also, the subsequent imprisonment of the Spirit of Darkness.

Stepping back into the Air Temple, you rubbed your forehead in anger and confusion, “What does that mean? That I’m inhabited by an evil spirit allowing me to bend multiple elements?”

Avatar Roku softened his gaze and rested a hand on your shoulder, “Not so, young one. Vaatu is simply one side of the same coin. He and Raava had lived together for far longer than humans have. They are light and dark, peace and chaos. One cannot survive without the other. What concerns me, is how Vaatu was freed. He was locked in the tree of time, it should be impossible.”

While Roku was muttering about that, you noticed Aang looking deep in thought.

Turning to him, you smiled gently, “Hey. I’m sorry about all of this. I didn’t...I-”

Aang turned to you, but the voice that spoke was not his, it was femine and held immense power. Avatar Roku took a step back, his posture straightening as he bowed low.

“Do not worry young [Y/n]. My brother managed to trick a young spirit into freeing him. Had I known, I would have stopped it, but sadly Aang here was unable to communicate with me.”

Avatar Roku stood up with a smile, “It’s been a while Raava.”

Aang’s face lit up and a musical laugh escaped, “Roku.”

You hesitantly took a step forward, stopping in fear as Aang’s head whipped around and seemed to stare you down.

Biting your lip, you asked, “So what does this mean for the mortal realm? For...for me?”

The spirit, Ravva sighed gently, almost motherly, which made your eyes tear up.

“Avatar [Y/n]. You and Avatar Aang will be two sides of the same coin. You will balance each other out. But it’s up to you on how to keep Vaatu in check. There cannot be light with dark, just as there cannot be dark without light.”

A jolt and you felt yourself fall into a void.

“Wait!”

“Hush Child. I must speak with my sister.” A cold, menacing voice echoed around you.

Shivering, you were hesitant to speak, “Vaatu?”

A deep sigh, “Yes child. I will explain, momentarily. Your physical body is soon to be in danger, and I wish to talk to Raavu before we are back. So be quiet!”

The roar shook you. And you quickly nodded, unknowing if the spirit could see it in the inky darkness that surrounds you.

In the silence and darkness you took a moment to go over what has happened in just a few short hours.

You had returned to the Fire Nation. You had been seen by General Iroh and Prince Zuko, both who were exiled and banished from the Royal Family. 

You remembered the past. And based on the fluttering of your heart, you also remembered the feelings you harbored for the prince.

You had found the Avatar and his group, and subsequently found out that you were also an Avatar, but one that was powered by the Spirit of darkness and Chaos instead of Light and Peace. 

Things just got a lot more complicated.

FOREVER Taglist:

@sxph-t @mialeelavellan @rainydaysrnevergrey  @platonic-plots @sociallyawkwardcircus-freak-hi @queenbbarnes @mythixmagic @chas-z @thefridgeismybestie @strangersstranger @princess-evans-addict @rororo06 @timelordhunterandmysterysolver

[brimakesgifs]

avatar: the last airbender book three sentence starters

“i just asked if you were cold, i didn’t ask for your whole life story”

“i can’t just stand by and do nothing!”

“the universe just loves proving me wrong, doesn’t it?”

“doesn’t he know we need him too? how can he leave us behind?”

“i understand why you left. i understand why you had to go. so why do i still feel this way?”

“hey, we’re in enemy territory! those are enemy birds!”

“we don’t need to become cave people”

“stay flamin’!”

“everyone here eats meat. even the meat!”

“hmm...i am a fan of secret rivers...”

“orange is such an awful color”

“you’re so beautiful when you hate the world”

“i’m gonna throw them a secret dance party!”

“i don’t think my parents want me dancing in a cave”

“i’m not turning my back, i’m just being realistic”

“you can’t wait around for someone to help you. you have to help yourself”

“the worst thing about being in disguise is we don’t get the hero worship anymore”

“i can’t fly around okay. i can’t do anything”

“i already picked my toes. twice. the first time is for cleaning. the second time is for that sweet picking sensation”

“it looks like the beach threw up all over it”

“i saw it and thought it was pretty. don’t girls like stuff like that?”

“i’m so used to people worshiping us”

“that sounds shallow and stupid...let’s o it”

“circus freak is a compliment”

“guess that explains why you need ten boyfriends too”

“you want me to express myself? leave me alone!”

“this much negative energy is bad for your skin”

“my father decided to teach me a permanent lesson on my face”

“i should be happier now but i’m not. i’m angrier than ever and i don’t know why!”

“i’m not sure i know the difference between right and wrong anymore”

“my own mother thought i was a monster. she was right of course but it still hurt”

“i feel all smoothed. i’ll always remember this”“sorry, did i splash you little mud slug?”

“i’ll give you a mud pie!”

“i’ve gotta say, i like the idea of not talking to you”

“you don’t have to see to be lucky!”

“i don’t hate fun? see? fun!”

“we’ve already got a three-eyed freak after us”

“what do you think of sparky-sparky boom man? just think about it.”

“we have enough money. you need to stop this!”

“i should warn you there’s already a lemur in our group so no fighting”

“i gotta say, you continue to impress me with your ideas”

“yep, we’re idiots”

“the right thing is the real reward…but i still want the actual reward”

“you’re at least fun to argue with”

“sorry, i forgot you have baby skin”

“pants are an illusion and so is death”

“in a lifetime of evil at least he didn’t add animal cruelty to the list”

“you’re right, lets give him a medal. the ‘not as much of a jerk as you could’ve been’ award!”

“why am i so bad at being good?”

”i think the past is trying to kill me!”

“get over here! i want you to dance with me”

“you had to pick up the glowing egg, didn’t you?”

“we’ll just tapdance our way to victory”

“my first girlfriend turned into the moon”

“that’s rough, buddy”

“i’m about to celebrate becoming an only child”

“you don’t remember her? you will soon, trust me”

“his sources include singing nomads, pirates, prisoners of war, and surprisingly knowledgable merchant of cabbage”

“i don’t do that! i’m not like that! and i’m not a woman!”

“i have important moon duties to take care of”

“at least it’s not a flying bald lady”

“wait, what’s that? i think it’s your honor!”

“choose treachery, it’s more fun”

“i’m not – i’m melon lord!!”

“well that sweet little kid grew up to be a monster. and the worst father in the history of fathers”

“what? everyone else went on a life-changing field trip, now it’s my turn”

“i won’t have my first day marred by poor foot hygiene”

“i can’t believe the captain remembered my birthday! he really does care!”

“alright hair, it’s time to face your doom”

“you’re right, i do have the power! i have all the power in the world!”

“i don’t think boomerang is coming back, it looks like this is the end”

“you have the craziest adventures when you disappear”

“leave the nicknames to us, honey”

“the girls and i really bonded in prison”

[luuuna-rambles]

Avatar Review: 1x05 “The King of Omashu”

Okay, judging by the title I am guessing... I have no idea. Weren’t we going to the northern water tribe? Why would they have a king? Are we getting sidetracked again?

Wait, why are we in the Earth Kingdom now? Why are we still letting Aang decide where to go???

Chop, chop, you guys. We’ve got a world to save and all that

Oh, come on, would anyone buy that disguise? You can still see the arrow under his wig!

At least change your outfit, please

Oh my god. Is this him?

Is this the legendary... Cabbage Man?!?

So, why is Momo coming? Is it so that antics ensue later?

Actually, who am I kidding? Why are any of them here?

One ride, then we’re off to the north pole? Yeah, I’m calling bs on that

Why would you load spears like that?!

Aang, can’t you airbend and make you go faster?

Thank you, Katara!

Let me guess, this old guy is either Bumi or related to Bumi

The Avatar will face three deadly challenges... because... reasons?

Oh, thank god we brought the lemur along for no reason

Wait, you’re one plan was using Momo, and when that didn’t work you just gave up? use your airbending to make the air vents wider! Aang’s airbending could definitely crack stone

Okay, props to the character design, the King looks pretty great

Where is Zuko? I need my angsty boi

Ah, bs, random old man. “The most powerful earthbender you’ll ever see”? I haven’t even met Toph yet, but I’m sure she could kick your ass

Aang didn’t seem to have a problem with attacking Zuko, the fifteen year old who explicitly said that he wanted him alive. But this insane old man who is not only trying to kill me but is also slowly killing my only two friends right in front of me? Nah, let’s go back to pacifism for this one

This old guy has control over the ground they are both standing on, and yet he doesn’t win immediately. Just get the ground to swallow him up!

Good lord, Katara and Sokka have done literally nothing all episode

Well what a surprise, it was Bumi

“It’s good to see you”? Then why were you trying to kill him and his friends???

Thoughts:

Yeah, this was a step down. It was a complete waste of time, the team learns nothing, Sokka and Katara do nothing, and there was no tea man and his angsty son! So, yeah, I hope this doesn’t become the formula from now on. And seriously, they need to stop getting sidetracked!

[suntiger745]

Skyrim characters

Got into Skyrim again, and in the usual order of things I now have ten or so characters and just one of them has visited the Greybeards...

Telavi An asari commando that got warped into Tamriel when “something odd” happened during a transition through a mass relay.

Made mostly because I thought it would be funny to have an asari in Skyrim really. She is adapting well, her commando training quite useful, and her biotics seem to react with what the natives of this world call magic. From her point of view, it seems like some people, and particularly these “dragons” have absorbed Element Zero in some way. Now they are calling her ‘dragonborn’ and she’s trying to figure out what that means exactly, and if it can be something that helps getting her home. The mod that adds the asari as a race isn’t perfect, there’s a slight gap between the scalp ‘helmet’ and the actual head, though it usually isn’t visible. Due to the scalp being a separate item, sometimes it will appear very clearly against the skin, and sometimes the transition seems almost seamless. It was the only asari mod I found though, and in general it works fine.

Stingray Based on Anjali Bhimani’s character in We’re Alive: Frontier. Instead of having to deal with US zombies and raiders, she has to deal with Skyrim draugr and bandits. :P Partially done just to see if I could make a decently close resemblance to Anjali in the game, but it has been quite fun to RP a bit as if Stingray really had been transplanted to Tamriel. She’s not sure quite who to trust yet, and frankly neither these ‘imperials’ or ‘stormcloaks’ seem very trustworthy, but she can and will help the little people she comes across. And deal out some damage to those that would prey on them. Also a picture of her without the hood.

Fryda Ironhand Fryda died over sixhundred years ago, a thane of Whiterun who had some ability with the Thuum and who fell in battle against sixteen bandits, buying time with four others to allow her jarl to escape. Now she has awoken, though she doesn’t know how or why, and there are gaps in her memory. She fought other draugr as she made her way out of the barrow she awoke in, trying to communicate with them at first, but realizing none of them were able to speak as she could. She is debating to sek out the living in order to find out when this is and how and why she awoke, but is uncertain how to approach anyone without them attacking her on sight.

I got the idea of playing as a draugr randomly and checked the Nexus for a mod. Lo and behold there was one, and very well made too. Armor that makes your body withered, and a ring that gives you the draugr eyeglow.

Meleria Although not common knowledge among mortals, the succubi of Thanatos have laws and regulations, and people to enforce those regulations. Meleria is one such law enforcer. Although feeding on strong emotions like all other succubi, she usually handles problems with a two-handed sword rather than seduction or mental manipulation. She has come to Tamriel to hunt down a lawbreaker, who also happens to be her younger sister. She’s getting quite annoyed with the mortals though. If they don’t oogle her boobs they comment of her Enforcer uniform as being “stupid” or “lacking in protection”, as if her skin wasn’t enough to deal with most mortal weapons. Still, she is at least grateful that they don’t run screaming at the sight of her, which the mortals did on the mission she went on three years ago.

Teleria A succubi from Thanatos, currently on the run to the mortal planes for breaking the laws of her people. Intelligent, cunning, ruthless and good with both magic and blade if the need arises, she is quite enjoying her time in Skyrim. None of the mortals she has come across so far have been able to resist her manipulations or been able to see through her disguise to see her for who and what she really is. Really, the only issue is that the authorities put her hellhound of a sister on the case of capturing her, so now she has to build a power base and amass sufficient resources and allies to get her sister to step off or get killed. Fortunately she has encountered a group of rebels calling themselves the ‘Stormcloaks’ who seem to be perfect candidates to wrap around her little finger and subvert their fervor in her favor instead.

Both Meleria and Teleria are from the Succubus race mod.

Sha-kala A simple story for a simple girl. Sha-kala is an orismer from a big family, the next youngest of five siblings. She has come to Skyrim to seek her fortune, hoping to join the famous/infamous Companions in Jorrvaskr. The first meeting seems to have gone well and she’s been invited to the longhouse to say hello to their leader, or elder.

Viper The last thing people who encounter her often never see. A young woman from Morrowind who was trained as a hunter by her mother and more or less accidentally fell into doing assassinations. The Morag Tong does not appreciate freelancers though, and she had to leave Morrowind, rather quickly. She operated in Cyrrodil for a year, but made a few key mistakes that made her a wanted woman in most of northern Cyrrodil. So she came north to Skyrim, hoping to pass herself off as another refugee. Bad luck struck again though, and she was captured along with a group of nord rebels, for once just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. After a dragon “saved” her from the chopping block, she went with one of the rebels for a bit and is now considering joining the Stormcloaks, hoping there will be safety in numbers instead of trying to stay out of the imperials’ (or Tongs’) reach alone. Viper isn’t her real name of course, but she hasn’t used her real name in years.

“Cassia” Valina Ellonis Micella Arantius, the Crimson Domica (after the Domica Redwort flower) of the Imperial City, famed courtesan and dancer, has found herself forced to flee Cyrrodil after being framed for the death/assassination of a Thalmor official in the Imperial City. Newly arrived in Skyrim, she has to draw on the archery training she did as a girl and her magical talent, mostly used as part of her dancing performances to try and stay alive and fed. She has adopted the alias ‘Cassia’, a common imperial name, but after arriving in a middle-sized village she i rapidly realizing that she has to ditch her fine silks and leathers for something more rough and rustic if she has any hope of blending in. She doesn’t really like these ‘Stormcloaks’ she has heard of, but the imperial legion is too tied to the Thalmor who might send Justicars or assassins after her for her to go to them for protection. There’s a merchant in town who wants help with retrieving a golden luck charm though, so perhaps she can earn a bit of coin and get some new gear that way.

Lauria An aureal of Sheogorath, Lauria has been sent to Tamriel to fetch a few things for her Daedic Prince. A collection of Skyrim cheeses, an Orismer head preserved in vinegar, a pet skeever, a cabbage, a baby mammoth and two hagraven feathers. He dropped her out butt naked in front of a barrow “To make it a bit more of a challenge!” The cold was a bit annoying, but Lauria is one of the best fighters among the golden saints and quickly acquired some weapons and armor and set out to do her mission.

Alva Sunhair She considers herself a nord patriot and resent the imperials and Thalmor for interfering in who people worship. She and her family have been worshiping Talos for generations and isn’t about to stop now. She has been working with the Stormcloaks for a while and after her brother got thrown in prison for being a Talos worshiper she is now looking to join them more actively.

Aurora An altmer from Summerset Isles, though it has been many years since she was home now. In these day and age something of an anomaly in Skyrim, an altmer who isn’t part of any of the major factions vying for power. She is in fact a vampire hunter and has come to Skyrim because she heard that the Dawnguard was going to be resurrected, and she wants in on it. Calm, competent and with references from other key people in Tamriel also part of her trade, she has so far managed to not get into any scrapes with the locals, which is fairly rare for an altmer mostly traveling alone.

Mixi A bosmer who grew up in Bravil, in Cyrrodil. She didn’t want to become a hooker like her dad, or an “alchemist” like her mom who made skooma but used half her produced volume herself, so she ran with the street rats when she was a kid and begged, cajoled or, when having gotten a lucky break, paid for fighting lessons from passing mercs. She left Bravil when she was sixteen, telling her parents “Bravil is a swampy shithole of a town, and I’m not going to be one of the dead rats floating in the sewer they call a river in five years!” They were surprisingly understanding and wished her good luck and she’s been making her way around Cyrrodil, High Rock and now Skyrim for five years, working as a mercenary, thief, courier and other odd jobs. She’s still quite angry at the world, a short ball of attitude and sarcasm, which costs her jobs sometimes, or gets her into fights. She does pride herself on always completing the jobs she do get, and has a very good success rate. Partially due to her choice of weapons. Everyone expects a bosmer to be good with a bow, and she is, but she also has a ring of strength she found in an old fort that she uses to fight with a big two-handed sword. Few except such a seemingly slight mer to be as effective as she is with such a large weapon.

[faeofheart-a]

The Pizza Stalker

I would like to note that this is actually fucking ridiculous. What was I on. This is completely unedited from my notebook, and it was several years ago. It is intended to be ridiculous.

His name was Frank.

Not really a good name for an evil man like he. Rapist, murderers and kidnappers alike all feared this man and his beady, soulless eyes. Why? Frank was a pizza stalker.

Frank wasn't always this sick and twisted man. At one point, he was happy. Had friends, a wife, three kid. But soon, his illness became too much to hide, and his entire world was destroyed.

"It all started when I was a child," He told the therapist, who sat exactly seven feet three inches away from the soulless man. If Frank noticed, he didn't care. He was used to the fear and hatred society displayed towards his kind. "I grew up in a home not suitable for children..." He began to tear up.

Intrigued, Harold the therapist leaned forward just a little. "What happened?" He asked the depressed middle aged man, reaching up to play with his joy, his preious fu man chu.

"My... my father. He was... a vegan and my mother was a health freak. The house was always clean, and we always had healthy food in our cupboards... I think they turned out so badly because they were lefties. Can't trust them." Both men shuddered.

"Lentils, eggplant, carrots and beets. Spinach, Broccoli, pomegranates and cabbages. If we were lucky, we might get soy milk or even... almonds. But those were treats. Mom didn't like giving us good food."

Harold stopped stroking his fu manchu, and instead twisted the mustache, like an evil villain from the 1920's. "us?" he asked, brown eyes curious despite himself.

Frank nodded briefly, closing his black eyes. "I had a sister once. Gertrude. A dog named Rover. Do you know what too much health food does to you? It gives you the opposite of a heart attack. Your heart works too well, the rest of your body hates it and stages a mutiny. They never saw it coming. Me? I managed to avoid this fate by sneaking chocolate. I still remember being caught with that catalogue. I was so embarrassed."

"I'm sorry for your loss. What happened next?" Harold asked, now exactly seven feet two inches away.

"Well, my parents were furious and so ashamed. My mother kept going on about what a disgrace this was and how she couldn't show her face at the PTA again. She couldn't believe her son could be a disgusting chocolate lover. Little did she know, eh?" Frank laughed bitterly, turning to look back at his therapist. Harold, being a chocolate lover himself, had taken the opportunity to take a Kitkat out of his bag. Upon being caught, however, he guiltily offered Frank half.

"Nah, I don't touch that anymore. Too tame for me. I was seventeen when I first saw a pizza. The smell was intoxicating, and the way the grease glittered and shone melted my soul. It was like Romeo and Juliet, if Juliet were pizza and Romeo wanted to eat her. Or if Juliet were human and Romeo were a cannibal. Or Zombie. You get my point. I saw my best friend Bartholemew eat his pizza, and I was hooked."

Harikdm despite his interest in the story, could feel his lip curl up in disgust. "Remain objective, Harold, remain objective." He told himself quietly. "Continue?"

Frank shrugged. "I tried to hide it, I really did. I would wear disguises, or pretend to be talking on the phone. Once, I even got a job at a pizza place. I knew I was sick, but I had no place to turn to. I just wanted a pizza! All I could do was watch, though. Four years ago, I lost it. I was at a pizza hut, and I saw a group of teenagers. They were right by a window, and had four pizzas! It was a pizza porno! A pizza orgy! One I didn't have to pay for. They caught me, though. Sued me for pizza harrassment and traumatization. I didn't know it would end so badly! My wife Heldagard left me, taking our three kids Geraldine, Harriet and George. I was in prison for four years, and nobody wanted anything to do with me. I was a leper in my own town."

Frank started sobbing uncontrollably, and Harold grew uncomfortable. Until he had a brilliant idea. He called down to the office and, within twenty minutes, there was a knock. He paid his assistant Irving and brough the pizza back into the room, putting it into his lap.

"Here," said Harold the therapist, "this is for you. I prescribed one large Hawaiian pizza. Take orally until finished, with one large coke, and you will be cured of your symptoms."

Frank cheered and dug in, tears mingling with the red pizza sauce. Unfortunately, his heart was not prepared for such a shock, and thus, he died.

Harold was the only one to attend his funeral and as they lay his body to rest, he solemnly sang the pizza pizza song, placing the box upon his coffin. HIs tomb stone read:

"Here lies Frank, the pizza stalker. May he have eternal pizza and eternal happiness Rest in Pieces of Pizza" [pizza slice]

The End

[charlienozaki]

I enjoyed your rankings very much, would you mind doing one for their kindness and also for their fashion sense XD?

Thanks! Okay, sure! Though I think, for kindness especially, my answers will be entirely subjective, but I’ll give it a go! 

(Disclaimer: This got long, so if you read it all, then you get—nothing in return. 😂  But thanks for doing so!)

Okay, so, kindness. It’s kind of difficult to rank this tbh, because I think, for some of the Straw Hats, their expression of kindness differs a lot when they’re dealing with strangers versus people they care about. I’ll try and consider both. And in the interest of keeping the word count below 10,000, I’m going to stick their fashion ratings at the end of each little entry. xD I’ll include my favorite outfit of theirs too. 

1 - Sanji - This one’s tough, and I have a hard time choosing between Chopper and Sanji, but I think I’m gonna have to give it to Sanji by a small margin. It’s kind of expected, given everything that’s been said in the manga recently, but honestly, out of everyone, he’s the most likely to help someone out, even if they’re an enemy, as he’s proven. Of course, there’s the whole male enemy versus female enemy thing too, but he’s always gonna feed anyone, no matter what, and we’ve seen him unable to let his family die despite the terrible things they’ve done to him. So, gotta give it to him. 

Fashion rank - #1 (TOP TIER. WELL EARNED IMO).

I freaking love his Whole Cake prince outfit, with the cape. And his wedding outfit. And all of his outfits. :’) But I think my favorite has gotta be the dorky, oversized sweater from Strong World. 

2 - Chopper - Chopper’s bumped out of first, but juuuust barely. I think we’ve seen him give a little more apprehension about treating enemies in the past, but ultimately, like Sanji, he’s going to help anyone in need, even if it means healing people who’ve hurt the crew. World’s best doctor has to be able to help anyone! 

Fashion rank - #6 (He wears some cute things, and bonus points for being able to keep them on when he transforms. :|…)

Again, another movie outfit, but my favorite’s the fucking cow from Film Z.

3 - Usopp - This boy takes third, I think. He’s fiercely protective of his crewmates and the ship, even more so after the timeskip, and we’ve seen him show concern and emotion for plenty of people outside of the crew as well. 

Fashion rank - #5 (I fucking love Usopp’s fashion sense though, even if it’s wacky. Just everything he wears, his hats, his crazy costumes. My god).This one from Movie 6 is simple by comparison, but it’s my favorite because HIS HAIR. 

4 - Nami - She actually has the potential to be very kind and compassionate, I think, and the potential to be caring and nurturing, particularly to kids. She’s very empathetic, so long as people don’t act like complete doofuses around her. And we’ve seen her dedicate herself fully to causes before even the rest of the crew did, i.e. the kids at Punk Hazard or forgiving Hatchan and not blaming Jinbei for what went down with Arlong, one of her best character moments ever, in my opinion.

Fashion rank - #2 (She could, arguably, be number one, considering she definitely shows the most active interest in looking good. I’m just partial to Sanji. xD)

Picking a favorite of hers is hard because I love so many…..I’ll avoid movies this time and go with her Thriller Bark outfit. She always looks cute with her hair up, and this outfit was pretty unique compared to her usual fare.

5 - Brook - I’m gonna say Brook’s kindness comes next, considering the whole Laboon thing, and also because he generally is polite and tolerant of others…unless he’s asking to see their panties… He’s even polite to enemies.

Fashion rank - #4 (I mean, he’s hella fab. Ya got the suits, you got the rocker outfits. Dude’s got style).

Bless this outfit that he wears for like 0.5 seconds in Film Gold. 

6 - Luffy - Aaaahh this is getting tough, and honestly, these last few could change around. I ranked his kindness low, comparatively, but Luffy honestly doesn’t give a damn about most things unless it affects his friends, so I think that’s why he got bumped down for me. Of course he is kind. He wouldn’t have all these people on his crew if he wasn’t. But until something affects him or his friends directly, it’s not of much concern to him. 

Fashion rank - #9 (HA. We’ve seen him wear fashionable things, sure, but not of his own choosing really. He clearly does not care about fashion one bit. xD He’s over here wearing sandals with suits - which is adorable - but he just doesn’t caaare, so that’s why I put him dEAD last).

I love all the ridiculous T-shirts and stuff he wears, but….come on. Future Pirate King here. He’s gotta look the part. So Strong World is my favorite.

7 - Robin - UGH, but see, she has proven herself to be a kind person! Especially post-timeskip, now that she’s opened up a lot more. She fucking loves the crew so much and is so sweet and motherly and playful with them. And she’s even begun to show that side to others too. With Law and Momonosuke and Koala and even freaking Barto and Cabbage Cavendish. I guess she just got bumped down because of how heartless and closed-off she used to be before she started trusting people again. It’s a (relatively) new thing to see her so uninhibited, so that’s the only reason I didn’t rank her higher here. Also she cried over fucking Ryunosuke for fuck’s sake. (#1 saddest OP death).

Fashion rank - #3 (She’s not as openly into fashion as Nami, but damn, does she know how to look good. I love her sophisticated style.)

Her Movie 6 outfit with the big hat is fabulous. And her Film Z dancer outfit with that leopard-print skirt. And I also love her original cowboy hat get-up in Alabasta. But everything with her striped sweater dress from Strong World, the glasses, the ponytail, the cute necklace, how her sleeves cover her hands. Just kill me. 

8 - Franky - Again, I feel bad he ended up so low too because he’s not unkind. He can be super chill and cool with people outside the crew, but I don’t think we’ve really seen him make too many bonds with, or show much interest in other characters, aside from the Water 7 crew. At least none that instantly come to mind in this hardly-researched, rambling post. xP He’s a good guy, and he’s obviously there for the Straw Hats 100%. He’s just not as openly compassionate as some of the others (despite his tendency to get emotional over things xD). HE’S A ROBOT FOR GOD’S SAKE.

Fashion rank - #7 (He’s got an idea of what he likes, so I gotta give him points there, as compared to just throwing on whatever burlap sack is available. And I also have to give him credit for somehow working clothes around all his post-timeskip modifications. But I wouldn’t exactly say he cares too much about looking….normal and polished. Bahaha.)

 I still love his outfits for how absurd they are. The freaking braids in Dressrosa. The JKLMNOPQ shirt. And the one in Zou that just says I ☀ HT. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?! (Seriously though. What does it mean). His outfits make me laugh so much. In the end, I gotta go with this one from the Heart of Gold special because I just lost it at that goddamn hair. 

9 - Zoro - SIGH. SIGH SIGH SIGH. We’ve seen him be kind. We have. We have, we have. With Chopper. With Usopp. With kids. WE’VE SEEN IT. We know he is. But he’s also Zoro, and he does things his way. And even if he’s obligated to help out because it’s what the crew is doing, he’s not usually going to show any emotion one way or another, or go out of his way to do some philanthropic thing. He wants the booze for himself! He’s similar to Luffy in a way, but Luffy has such an infectious personality and is outwardly passionate about helping the people he cares about. So our local former demon pirate hunter who not-so-secretly turns to mush when it comes to the crew must come last. Tbh, he just got lost finding number one. 

Fashion rank - #8 (And this poor child is losing the fashion race too. xDDD He’s at least got some clue of what clothes are functional and practical for moving around in, but other than that, he and his captain give no fucks. I mean, in the Episode of Luffy special, when the crew does their adorable little fashion show, they gotta practically fight him to get him to wear something ridiculously normal. Can only imagine how it went down to get him into suits.) 

But the suits. THE SUITS. Goddammit. Now, see, Zoro’s my favorite until death do us part, so everything he wears I will instantly love….. Anything from Strong World is good, and his Armani suit in Film Z. THE GLASSES. The glasses. The dad outfit - camo shorts and stupid baseball cap - from Film Gold. His Skypiea outfit with the tank top and goggles. And the Dressrosa mustache disguise. His skull hoodie from the Kaze wo Sagashite opening. His Zoro White dress from Marchen Time. (I have to include it). SHIRTLESS. I mean. I could go on.My favorite has to be his suit from Film Gold though. I just think it’s so hilariously Zoro - to wear the fucking suit jacket and vest and shit….but over the battle outfit for later. Everyone else gets all nicely dressed and he’s over here, finally having had enough of the dumb formal wear shit.

IT’S OVER. Sorry it got so long. I hope you survived the length. Thanks for the question though! 

[gayredmage]

Moonlight Sonata

Pairing: Sephesis Rating: T/sfw Prompt: Apocalypse/Moonlight courtesy of @lilly-white Word count: 2421 Summary: Genesis awakens and is confronted with a post-Shinra era world where Sephiroth has scorched the planet. Sephiroth has faith that his lover will join him.

A/N: Tag said sfw for this prompt...Look, I tried. I really, really did. But there are non-graphic mentions of sex. This is also more post-apocalyptic.

I see you there. Traveling always under the faint light of the night's sky. Riding in the passenger seat of a farmer's pick-up truck across the arid dust bowl of old mines and environmental wastelands. Hitched your ride in exchange for some head at a truck stop, you'd say. But he saw that flip knife in your hand and your eyes, bright like they were on the breezy plains of Eastern Wutai. You close your eyes. Not able to stand the sights and smells of burning cities. Of people rebuilding civilization in the image of a lost era.

They've forgotten you. Your charm. Your wit. Your betrayal. How your exercise in rebellion cost you your family, fame and fortune. Rendering you to the lonely, wondering soul that you are now; trying to find his way into a world so foreign to him. Even the lies they made of you were lost to time and war; I knew the Turks killed your parents, you always said you were adopted and appreciative, I also knew that you left with your engagement ring affixed to your left ring finger.

The farmer leaves you at the broken down train stop of Edge. From a night of coercion he told you about his wife and four children. How the cabbages in the back were to be sold so he could provide for them. Send those kids to college if there will be one again on the continent.

"E-Edge!" he yelped, knife to his throat. He tried to touch you in your sleep. His broken wrist remembers that, "It's where everyone is! Midgar...it's ain't a city no more. Rubble it all is. But Edge. That's the hub. The home of the new world government."

Pleads for his life he does. You took his word for it. Step into the rainy town, because a city without street lamps was a husk.

It's early afternoon and those clouds were thick like smoke. You weave your way through the streets, narrowly missing a rat chased by a small girl with a shiv. What did you wake to? Does it please you? Or do you wish that slumber had not ended?

You make your way to the only source of light you can see. Flashing neons, coffee in the air and flames crackling. Seventh Heaven.

POSITION AVAILABLE

APPLY INSIDE!

A job. Get to know the locals. Facilitate some income. Find yourself. Is a bartender your calling?

The bell above the door rings as you enter. A woman approaches. Smiling. Cheerful. But mature.

"Hi! Welcome to Seventh Heaven. Name's Tifa, I run this gig. New face, you are. Not a bad one either." She winks, you smile.

"Certainly not as pleasant as yours." You turn on that charm. She laughs. Your lip curls in that smug, self-important manner.

"So, what can I get for you, new man?"

You sit at the bar, eyeing the menu written on the chalkboard.

"If it's not too much of a bother...a pina colada. Don't skimp on the umbrellas either."

"Would two umbrellas be enough?"

"I won't be happy until there's at least four."

She talks to you. Teases you. Watches you try to drink your alcoholic concoction between six umbrellas. "If they fall off, I'll charge you double."

She has a foster child. She takes care of two children. She runs a bar and diner all on her own. She's got an Avalanche HQ sign stuck to the wall, and a picture of her and a troupe of interesting characters.

"You know...you look really familiar." she says, "Are those mako eyes?"

You smirk. "I'm not sure of the state of Avalanche today, but rest assured, I'm more interested in applying for that bartending job you have available than standing in the way of whatever it is you plan to do."

She nods. "How good are you in the kitchen, soldier boy?"

Tifa trusts you. She probably remembers you vaguely flying around Nibelheim. How you watched as Zack left her behind. How you foolishly, for a brief moment had the weakness to cast a healing spell to delay her injuries and wipe away the blood from her face. You shouted for help, had a disguised clone help drag her to safety before departing. Maybe. That or she's stupid enough to trust you.

You make dinner service a breeze. She gives you an impromptu pay rise for making good candied apples and seared steak.

"Come on, just say hi!" she drags a reluctant you out of the kitchen and presents you to everyone, "This is the man behind the magic!"

You know them. One squints foolishly at you. And the other has shock written on his face.

You ignore them. Thank the clapping ones for their compliments. Chat for a bit, before tapping out for a breather.

"I know ya." You turn to face the cigarette puffing engineer.

"So, you've joined Avalanche, Highwind."

"Genesis Fucking Rhapsodos."

"It's Francis actually." you joke.

Cid cusses. "He's dead, yaknow. Or at least we all sure hope so."

"I've gathered from what I've seen. But do you know where he was killed?"

"What? You plannin' on makin' a funeral?" he shakes his head and speaks to you sincerely. Or at least as sincerely as an uncouth bastard could, "Look. I get it. You two were an item. But what he became...not even human. No human could call on a meteor to destroy the planet. Sure a human could damn well wish for it ta happen, but the shit he's done...you'd have killed him yourself."

You smirk. I wondered what you were thinking. Maybe you wanted to agree. Maybe you wanted to punch his eyes out of their sockets. But whatever it was. You worked hard. Gained their trust. Slowly learnt more about me. Stuck around that Tifa woman. Joked with her. Bought her gifts. Took her out to dinners and cabaret shows. Everyone was loving you.

But Tifa especially talks to you openly and honestly. Takes you on expeditions. Trusts you deeply. Believes you to be a good man who will aid them. Tells you of all the tragedy I have caused - the deaths, the attempts to end all life. But did she ever tell you that I did all of this for you? For your legacy? I had plans for us. To have a world where it is only you and I. So no one could destroy the bonds we have and force us apart again. I regret...it's my only regret, that I did not leave with you. Had only I not been so foolish to believe you spun lies out of jealousy - to believe the rhetoric about you that Shinra fed. For I trusted that opinion more than my own instinct - than the own knowledge I had from having you in my bed and you as my only love. How could I believe that they knew more of the man I would die for than I did myself?

But you understand this. You know me. You know what actions I would take. You know that you were the greatest thing in my life. That I would bow to you and work for your favour. That I would abandon whatever motive I had if you so disagreed.

Tifa trusts you. But do you trust her? Or do you trust your knowing of the man you called your Gift of the Goddess? You humor her. You called her a sister. Worked her into your palms. What are your plans for her, exactly? No one seems to mind your relationship. The children appreciate having a father figure who wasn't a broody brat that vanished for days and weeks. You taught them poems and arithmetic. Took them to school, went scavenging for children's tales and other books, took them kite flying in the plains. You've always been a kind-hearted spirit. I believe my brothers would have appreciated just as much listening to you talk about the apple trees by the fireplace and being tucked into bed after you made sure they brushed their teeth.

But Cloud. He felt threatened. Reeve had teased him about you stealing the show - putting more work and effort into rebuilding camaraderie and the city. Tifa confides in you hushedly, asking for romantic advice. You take her hand and speak to her sincerely. But he cannot here you. Only see as you whisper in her ear and she giggles. You made a crass joke about your preferences.

That cadet shattered a bottle and tried to gash your pretty face.

"Cloud!" Tifa had shouted. He hit the bottle hard. Gone for days at a time, but felt like he owned the woman. I'd have never done that to you.

But you just shrug. Feint and counter. Put him in his place with your boot to his chest. "There are children around." you whisper.

He breaks from you and Tifa questions him.

He points at you. "Do you know who he is?!"

"Yeah...my employee. He makes good margaritas and I'm not losing him to your stupidity!"

"I just...I just hate seeing you two so..."

"So what, Cloud?"

"So...So flirty!"

"Flirty?!"

You laugh. Maniacally so. You grab the edge of the bar to stop yourself from falling. Tifa sniggers. "He's not like that...you know. He's a man's man."

Cloud was confused. "The hell you mean?"

You wipe away a tear. "Meet me at a glory hole and I'll show you."

It became known as the day Cloud stopped being a complete ass to you. Tried to know who you were. Realised he knew so little of SOLDIER. Asked you to help him clear out Old Midgar of the dredge left behind. Bizarre monsters, the products of escaped Shinra experiments and the corruption of geostigma.

You work late into the night. Sent Cloud home early as the pack had thinned. He took off. Leaving you here. Alone. Picking through what were the remains of our apartment with only the light of your lantern guiding you.

December in Modeoheim. What were we thinking, you thought as you picked up the shards of a broken snow globe. You find the mattress. Burned, broken. You cut it open. Dig through the stuffing. You find it. Coordinates. Of Loveless Avenue, the one restored sector of Midgar.

I was waiting. Rented a room. Wore contact lenses to hide my eyes. Cut my hair. Became a blonde with an eye patch. A man named Seth Faremis. I smoked on the street corner. Waving away adamant street walkers that went by. And you were there. Standing in front of the bright lights of the Loveless Theater. Thinking about all the plays that you had seen here. The way you'd lean against me, hold my hand, whisper to me. You were so vibrant then. Like the life of the planet vanished with you and had returned.

I walk to greet you. Either you were pretending to ignore me, or you were planning to leave. But I knew that you felt my presence. You always had. You at least believed that I was still alive. But the face that greeted you...I saw that disappointment. But you entertained me. We saw a play together. Found a private dwelling of rubble in the Midgar ruins to make love on. I said how I never wanted this night to end. And you placed your hands over my throat.

"Where is he?" you ask, eyes alight with that determination which keeps me yearning.

I grin, "Deepground."

You start digging. You know the site. And I help you for the time being. We hit steel and make the descent. Your body aflame as you take control of the facility - slicing through the guards and muscle that stood in your way, blasting through defenses, reminding the world again of the power and finesse of a fine SOLDIER. The scientists try to shut you out. Call for Code Red and attempt to evacuate. The halls run red of the last of Shinra blood. You hurry to the central most room and the sight that greets you...

"I've found you..." you say. You kiss me. Thank me. Farewell me. Until I leave that corporeal form, this avatar, clone, and re-enter myself.

Bound to a chair. Gagged. I open my eyes and see you break into the white padded room using a computer virus that you used for years with your espionage team.

I'm pleased. To see you with my own eyes in my own flesh. Those full, red lips. That soft, auburn hair. Those heavy-lidded slanted eyes. You had always been so beautiful.

And now. What will you do? Will you release me? Will you embark on that journey you hoped for so long? The one where you walk down the aisle, exchange vows and say I do. We could do that. We could rule this planet, not hide ourselves, scurrying away after dark. Pretending that your bed was not indented with the form of my body.  We could do so much together. Could live the life we wanted. The one where we had an estate and a dog. The one where I would prepare firewood as you glaze the roast. The one where we traveled the world not as warriors, but us culture enthusiasts. You always loved the raw fish from Wutai. You would never put an end to all of that

Let's go to the hot springs. Relax. Take some time together. Plan that eternal future we will have slowly.

"I love you." You say. So softly and sweetly. You sit on my lap, unbind the cloth from my mouth...I kissed you. You kissed back.

"Genesis..." I say, not knowing where to begin and end, "It's been so long."

You unbind me. Believing that a wise decision and help me out into the dark. Where should we go in a world I am unwelcome? Under the cloak of a thick night we flee. Into the barren wastelands where the moon hangs high and you look so indelible writhing under the silver light above me. Moaning my name with the cricket's chirping. I touch your soft, warm skin, kiss your neck, watch the stars. Taste the milk of paradise.

We're panting. I open my eyes. Expecting to see your blushing face, tousled hair and soft, hazy blue eyes. But I saw the barrel of a gun. A gift from your father you stowed away.

Your left hand. Barren of any promises.

"I love you, Sephiroth." You say.

And I believe you.

[shioritsumi]

No but I have so many feels about Tym as a character and a person and sometimes I think about his entire story and I just get feels? Like ‘omg bby why did I do this to you’. 

SO. First of all, he’s a Scollix, and they have a sort of body chemistry and function that basically makes it so that they can’t effectively go through puberty fully without having sex at least once. (Hetero or non doesn’t matter, they just need to have sex once.) Tym is on the average size as compared to a human; little shorter, even. He has slightly pointed ears, off-color eyes, and a short little stubby tail (sort of like a hamster tail) easily hidden with the right pair of pants. And for a while, people assumed that was normal. Then his childhood friend/ parole officer Acrole showed up and people saw an 8-foot tall almost rabbit-like humanoid with a long lion-like tail and pointed ears and dark sclera and light glowing eyes and darkened skin and they finally realized.....Tym’s appearance ISN’T that of an adult Scollix. Scollix don’t look THAT identical to humans. They’re taller, tougher, stronger, their tails grow, their eye color stabilizes, they finish developing. 

Tym has this problem, personally, of knowing too much. He describes it to humans as being like knowing how hot dogs are made. He’s personally pansexual, but also kind of sex-repulsed bc he feels like he knows too much about the internal workings of bodies to actually be comfortable with ever doing it. 

IMPORTANT: Tym is NOT asexual. You don’t get to mix up his sex-repulsion with asexuality. They’re completely different things. 

ANYWAYS. Now, Tym is a smart guy. He found a species called Numoreans, sort of like amorphous mercury-like race. They’re shape-shifters and the younger ones have trouble holding a form at all so they end up as adorable giggling silver blobs. Here’s the problem: they’re also used as....fuel. Like, for space ships. Tym found a way to use Numoreans as companions, giving them methods of holding solid forms for longer and allowing them to go to new places. (When Earth found one of Tym’s ‘inventions’ in another story which will likely never see the light of day again, they called it the ‘Veil of Ether’. A name Tym thinks is cool, but inaccurate.) Tym’s intention was to basically make the Numoreans into, like, Cabbage Patch Kids. They would be like artifacts, but also, you’d just be adopting them under the condition that you take good care of them. This was his plan to get innocent Numoreans out of being used as space ship fuel. 

Enter PETER (Peoples for the Ethical Treatment of Exotic Races). They took Tym to court for turning a sentient race into objects and selling them. Tym brought up all the paperwork that specifically stating the transactions were adoptions.  PETER brought a dozen of the galaxy’s best lawyers and a lot of money. He didn’t stand a chance. All of his ‘stock’ were placed into cold storage except for the one he had on hand, disguised as his coat, and Tym was sentenced to community service on a far off planet called Earth. Tym is of the opinion Earthlings should be offended they’re considered an exotic race. Sometimes Tym just doesn’t sleep bc he keeps thinking about the poor Numoreans trapped in a warehouse in stasis storage. While other Numoreans are STILL on their home planet being mined and used for space ship fuel. He has the BEST of intentions and still!

And then there are just some humans in his new work place that are just....he doesn’t know the Earth words for them. He can’t decide how exactly to curse them out, and isn’t sure he has the lung capacity to do all the languages in one go. No, he definitely doesn’t. He’s disappointed. 

[lackadaisical-pottymouth]

A Rei and Eishi Thing

[Birdmen Radio AU]

Monetary bets remained off the table if they had the pleasant misfortune of playing with Rei. His poker face, a perpetual thing of calm bemusement, had invoked legends among the other radio hosts. It permeated tearoom whispers between breaks. Rumour had it he'd actually won the station in a high stakes mano-e-mano battle to bankruptcy. Others conspired that honeyed words had stolen the building from right under the previous owner’s nose.

Eishi, however, fancied himself somewhat immune to Rei’s charms. So when his boss came to him with heart and tickets in hand, his first response was, of course, a resounding no. 

“You need to leave!” plead Rei with a smile that made the moon green with envy. More a fan of gossamer clouds, Eishi resisted the urge to roll his eyes.  

Paper documents spread in a collage on his desk and atop of that mess sat a sheaf of brochures. Barely-disguised excitement left Rei fidgeting in the seat opposite his. Weighing worst case scenario’s and the ETA for the pizza delivery guy, Eishi swallowed down his better judgement. “Okay, I’ll bite.” he pronounced, leaning forward to grab at one of the rust-coloured sheets, “What do you mean?”

A petulant huff and Rei readjusted his pin-straight posture to a slightly more relaxed variation thereof with no apparent loss of energy. “Come with me. We’ll find music, see sights--have you ever seen the museums? They have the most amazing aviation collection--”

Temptation almost squeezed the yes from his throat. It was forced down as Eishi regarded his friend and the puppy-dog eyes he flashed.

“--And the food,” Rei continued, an unhindered locomotion of tantalizing descriptions that plucked mercilessly at his resolve, “My goodness. The festival’s all day on a Friday, but the scene Eishi, the scene. Musicians everywhere. It’s the chance of a lifetime!”

Rei-induced affirmation danced on the tip of his tongue. He almost accepted, almost. But a niggling suspicion ground it to a halt, refortified his walls. Eishi narrowed his eyes, “Is this supposed to be a ‘Sagisawa and Son’ thing?”

Rei’s smile stuttered.

Bingo.

“It could be a Rei and Eishi thing if you let it?” offered however-tall of curls just as the buzzer shrilled of an arrival. Rei sent him his biggest, most charming smile.

Eishi indulged in the long awaited eyeroll as he exited the room.

--

A month later, his day off began with an annoyance that prickled at the base of his neck. Eishi attempted to roll his shoulders around it, distracting himself by tearing through sheaf after sheaf of marking.

The mess from his desk had been transposed onto the station kitchen. Assigning ticks or circles to the papers was more or less grunt work he’d been co-opted to assist with last minute while his prof tackled more pressing projects from more advanced classes. He forced his mind to remain focused while his hands worked, pointedly ignoring the mahogany door that led to Rei’s office.

Away from him, the station continued to bustle. Robin waved at him as she entered for her shift, her smile small and polite. Later, Fiona beelined for the coffeemaker in the 10-odd minute transition period. She didn’t regard him as she entered (he supposed he was to Fiona as death was to Gertrude--present, but usually ignored), but there was a fresh cup of coffee in his fav --er-- preferred mug when she left. He’d return the favour with a thing of dark chocolate.

An hour into marking and his mind began to wander. To schoolwork, the impending end of term. To station work and the newest crop of writings (the month’s theme was Winter Wonderland).To certain knowitall bosses and that damned closed door.

What was really annoying about Rei was that he’d somehow known. He’d known. And Eishi knew this because following the initial proposal, while he thoroughly sussed the venue and festival for any nasties or hidden bits, Rei had all the answers down to the tickets. Rei indulged in telling him everything, from venues to rumoured appearances, to icky folklore of the place.

Stupidly, dumbly, profoundly interested, he’d listened.

“All we need now is to go!” Rei had laughed the night before while Eishi chopped onions and cabbages and somehow turned a salad into croquettes.

“Who the hell is ‘we’?” he’d snapped, slamming down with more force than necessary as if to compensate for the absence of the stuff in his own voice.   

Hell, even the hotel had been snagged in advance, a ridiculously fancy sort that probably rated in diamonds or obsidian rather than mere, plebeian, gold stars. The prickling feeling--annoyance, definitely annoyance-- spread to his throat and ears, arresting them in an itchy warmth. It was totally a Sagisawa and Son thing, he’d read the itinerary, knew it’d be a Sagisawa and Son and Weird Glasses Kid thing if he agreed to come.

(He could hear it now: This is my son, Rei. This is his third wheel.)

Ugh. The thought wrought horrors on his already flimsy resolve and his stomach stewed in eschew of the feeling. He pressed his palms to his eyes and relished the cold till white static stars filled his vision.

He could still leave, right? Go home, actually enjoy his day off?

Rei would clue in later that he’d -- almost! Almost had!-- a change of heart, probably. The over-kind tact that plagued him would stop him from saying anything till long after the trip. He could go and nothing would change except Rei.

Who--by the by--still hadn’t emerged from the mahogany doors and it was three-pee-ehm in the afternoon.

A quiet part of him registered that, Hey, bud, you could’ve sent a text, just as another regarded the garish ‘W’ on the countertop calendar, nearest Gertrude and the ugly, tawny, pot it stayed in.

Meeting day.

He mightn’t even be there.

Fatigue rested heavily on his temples.

Static splintered back to coloured specks and then again to a blurry variety of the white that foamed on the oak table. Tired fingers pressed the bridge of his nose as he began making estimates of how long it would take for him to pack up and be gone before--

“Eishi?”

He pinched his nose (nope, not a nightmare) and bit back a groan.

Slowly, too slowly, not slowly enough, Rei crossed the distance between the door and the table. Then came small talk as he peered over Eishi’s shoulder at the lab assignments he’d toiled over.

Words more or less drifted over his head as Rei recited routine topics. “Hi Eish’, it’s your day off, why are you here instead of getting some rest? Oh, is that marking? Damn, Dr. Saitou’s working you hard. Haha. Did you know I’m going on a trip? Of course you did, I asked you, I’m probably upset about that but I won’t say anything because I’m not an awful human being” --paraphrase courtesy of his mind.

At some point, he wasn’t quite sure when, he’d risen from the chair. Rei remained slightly crouched despite having ceased what he’d been saying. Worry quirked his eyebrows. A dry realisation noted that, for once, Eishi was the taller of the two. Eishi inhaled, once for luck and twice for oxygen, and then he was speaking.  

“Listen,” he commanded, taking just a little too much pride in the way Rei flinched, “If we’re thinking of making the best of this trip, then we’re leaving in the morning and getting there by afternoon.”

Saucers would’ve envied the size of Rei’s eyes, the subtle gape of his jaw. Breathing, once, twice, Eishi continued, “And understand that I’m not doing any father-son bonding whatever, because I’m not a son, in case you didn’t notice, and your family business is yours.”.

The table brushed his hip and papers, disturbed, fell. He felt his fingers cold against his arms and straightened his back, “Is that fair?” he asked, biting against an apology lurking in the back of his throat.

Rei nodded up at him, his mouth still slightly agape.

“That being said,” Eishi continued, satisfied, directing his gaze instead to the percolating coffee maker, “I look forward to going on this trip with you.”

From the corner of his eyes he could see Rei’s lips pressed together, the crack of a smile spreading at the edges.

--

They spent the night before leaving in Rei’s house. His bags were piled on the livingroom floor-turned-loading dock. Eishi settled back on a beanbag in the absence of Rei’s over-excited mountain of fluff he passed for a dog. Discarded take out boxes completed the look.

The day before Disaster, he’d call it. Maybe take and send a picture of it to Kamoda when the encyclopedia of things to be packed had been downsized. He recounted the items to himself,  

“Credit card, camera, gift cards, pepper spray--”

A confused call from one of the bedrooms. “Why would you need pepper spray?”

“--lock, key, the first aid kit, and a blanket and pillow.”

“I can’t find my shampoo.”(“Which one?”)”The peach one--it’s smaller? Came with a carry baggy even?”

“It’s at my place.” (“Really?”) “You left it there last time, never took it back.”

“That was a month ago!”

“And my hair thanks you muchly.”

Rei gasped, scandalized.

--

A gleeful tune tap-tapped on the rim of the steering wheel. “So,” Rei said, checking over his shoulder for traffic, “think we’ll get there in by dinnertime?”

Eishi pointedly-not-pointedly shot a glare at Rei, who had the audacity, the absolute nerve, to be awake and chatty at seven in the morning.

Wait, no.

They’d--no, not that, because it bloody well wasn’t true--Rei, had woken at around five and had proceeded to drag him out of bed. Because, and cursed be his past self from a month ago for doing this, they’d agreed to leave early and be on country roads before rush hour hit. Spring fever had possessed Rei to take the scenic route despite the world of green only barely peeking out from winter coats.

Scenes thus far included Rei’s apartment, the main road, Rei’s apartment (the sequel starring Rei’s prodigal suitcase), a drive through cafe (which, really, was a sight to behold), and now the backroads leading out to the wild blue (brown? vaguely yellow?) yonder.  

Eishi cradled his coffee while flipping absently through the radio channels on Rei’s fancy-ass rich people dash. Par for course, the car really was more tech than vehicle. One of the buttons might’ve turned it to a submarine if he pressed it in the right sequence.

Probably.

Eventually, Rei lapsed into appreciated stretches of silence as the car jittered along. Practicing partial caution--he half expected Rei’s gangly arms to strike at any moment, swatting him away from the console in tune with Gwen Stefani’s Hollaback Girl-- Eishi turned to a station more familiar.

They’d tuned in for storytime, apparently. Rei tilted his head toward him, eyebrow raised in an unspoken question. He responded with a shrug, a similarly unspoken answer, before opting to listen to Irene’s excited recount.

“--Was the MEANEST lookin’ fella I ever saw! Like, six-foot-ten, 375 pounds of pure spite-on-earth. And he looks at us with his eyes one kind and ‘es like ‘What’rey’doin’ere?’” His coworker’s voice dropped to a gruff mumble before continuing with the same laughing lilt, “So, Red n’ I grab the stuff and book it, because if Man Mountain doesn’t want us there, we’re not stayin’--ain’t it right, Red?”

The sound effect that played was unrecognizable, somewhere between a foghorn and a bagpipe. Eishi imagined the incline of Takayama’s eyebrows, the slightest ghost of a smile. He pictured Irene’s eyes flashing with mirth as she gesticulated, oversized headphones shifting with every movement.

Rei was laughing from the driver’s seat, his hand crooked about his mouth while the other kept firmly on the wheel. Little huffs of air punctuated the subtle shake of his shoulders as fair hair curtained his face.

Eishi looked away, pocketing a comment about distracted driving. He took a sip of his coffee, totally not hiding a grin of his own. The recount resumed,

“We get to the boat, havin’ just out run the Megalodon,” she said, and he could almost see her leaning back, as if tomb raiding were normal as the changing seasons, “We’re feeling pretty good about ourselves. Exhausted, hungry, damp, but pretty good. We get set to go, strappin’ everything in, callin’ Rene t’ say we’re getting back. But the radio’s busted and the engine keeps makin’ weird noises.”

And then she paused and Eishi’s coffee hitched in his throat.

“You ever get that feeling that something’s about to go wrong?”

He forced down the liquid. Rei tightened his grip on the wheel. Irene’s voice dropped low, conspiratory.

“Red gets the boat going, but he keeps lookin’ back at the island. I’m feelin’ the same sorta vibe, like somethin’s not quite right. We agree, collectively, to get the hell outta there before ol’ Meggie gets back on our tail.”

“For a minute there, it looked like we were in the clear.”

She was silent a full beat where the air seemed to still.

And then, all at once, her voice was loud with vibrant animation, a roar in contrast to the whisper that preceded it, “but ol’ Meggie ain’t goin’ down without a fight! Allasudden there’s this THUMP--”

Rei’s car careened to the side, trampling bump bump bump over loose gravel and stones before a screeching halt. Eishi ricocheted towards the upholstered door. His coffee burped scalding liquid onto his hands and trousers. He pressed the offended digits to his mouth, blowing softly against hisses of pain.

“What the hell, Rei?” Urgency outweighed the anxious knot in his throat. Rei was pressed against the grey seat, shoulders hunched with his hands knuckled white on the black steering wheel. His eyes were trained on the rearview mirror, to the dark asphalt expanse.

Eishi risked a glance of his own, fearing the worst. He deflated, slightly, from relief when he found naught but a plastic bag making lazy trails on the backroad. When he looked back Rei was rubbing tired circles into his eyelids. He bit out a sigh and Eishi felt the relief-anger-fear combo press down in favour of a slack worry.

Rei regarded him when his shoulders relaxed and his breathing became even. Not stilled, not yet, but the tremors had mostly subsided. His mouth was screwed into a thin line, a splotch of red on his cheeks, “Sorry,” he muttered, breaking eye contact to lean back, “‘thought I hit something.”

Eishi mirrored the action, staring up through the sunroof at the overcast sky.

The remaining feelings ebbed till only worry remained and the blinking noise of the hazard lights. Words raced through his head, to his tongue, but he remained frustratingly mute. Form was not given to his essays of thought. Eventually, after much too long of silence, Eishi settled on asking, “How much sleep did you get?”

The inadequacy of the words burned on the tip of his tongue, stayed that way till Rei sighed and said “None.”  

Oh.

Oh.

He clicked his tongue in time with the click of the opening door. Gravel crunched underfoot along with dirt until he came to the boot. Chill winds accompanied him as he dug for the black fleece blanket, as he dropped it unceremoniously into Rei’s lap.

“You’re sleeping,” Eishi stated, gesturing to the open back seat. He rolled his eyes and shivered against the cold as Rei stared at him in silent protest. “It's not charity, you ass,” he said tiredly, caffeine cravings renewing with irritating vigor, “you're driving when we come back.”

On a regular day, the dispute would stretch till Rei whittled him to maybe a half-way point. But the silence with which Rei exited was testament enough to his current status. Eishi slipped into the driver's seat but kept equally mum.

In place of protest Rei settled instead into the passenger seat. The blanket framed him at his shoulders, draped down to cover his hiked-up feet. There wasn’t challenge in his eyes as he stared, but Eishi clicked his tongue nonetheless.

Ass.

--

When he’d thoroughly rested (after he’d ceased fake sleeping and had lapsed into soft snores with the chair reclined as far back as comfortable), Rei instructed him towards a “hidden road” and a “big surprise”.

Eishi noted that the last people to have seen him alive were probably the waiters and waitresses at the restaurant they’d stopped at, and that his phone had a panic function if he didn’t check in every twenty-five minutes. The pepper spray was tucked deep in the pockets of his suitcase, but if the need arose, he said, he’d be able to get it in a minute.

Rei called his bluff and told him to take a left where the road didn’t seem to follow. Hesitantly, stupidly, curiously, he obliged.

A declaration from Karasuma Eishi is as followed:

He will not tell Sagisawa Rei (Bossman, Lil’ Rei Rei, Balderdash Extraordinaire) that the expanse of rippling blue took his breath away. He will not tell him that the smell of water prickled each of his senses till they were taut and alive. He will not tell him about the picture he’d kept in the loose board underneath his bed for most of his elementary school career.

For the good of the world, for the good of his eardrums and healthy constitution. And truly, for the good of his boss, whose heart would likely explode from glee, he would shoulder the burden by himself.

The scene still commanded his attention when Rei saddled next to him with a grin thoroughly self-satisfied. “Did you get the pictures you wanted?” he asked, though his eyes remained trained on the cyan sky and the blue-green water.

Rei hummed in place of an answer with an infectious glee radiating off him in sheets. Eishi sidestepped the onslaught and returned to the car. The picture was static in his mind. The trees, the water, the gossamer clouds, and the asshole grinning like a Cheshire cat.

.

[healthupdatede-blog]

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[fadingfartconnoisseur]

AK Monthly Recap: July 2017

There’s nothing like summer in the city, feeling droplets fall on you and wondering if it’s pee.

I kid, I kid. At least 10% of the time I’m certain someone’s spitting out their window.

I spent almost all of the month sleeping in my own bed in New York, only leaving to visit the Keys for five days. Here are the best and worst happenings of July 2017!

Destinations Visited

New York, Amagansett, Montauk, East Hampton, Sagaponack, and Bridgehampton, New York

Key Largo, Grassy Key, Marathon, Big Pine Key, Stock Island, and Key West, Florida

Favorite Destination

KEY WEST. Man, do I love that place. So much fun, so chilled out, so beautiful, and as wacky as ever with all the Hemingways.

Highlights

A fabulous trip to the Florida Keys. I just wrote about the trip in depth, so I won’t repeat myself here, but the biggest highlight was hanging out with all the Hemingways at the lookalike contest!

My first real Fourth of July barbecue in years. I’ve been traveling so often on the Fourth of July, and when I’m at home, I usually hang out in Boston or go to a Red Sox game, so this was unusual! But my friend and her husband bought a house with a yard in Brooklyn this year, so yeah, they were kind of contractually obligated to invite all their friends over.

At that barbecue I was introduced to Secret Hitler. Have you ever played that game? It’s an insanely fun party game made by the Cards Against Humanity people. Think Clue plus politics. There’s nothing like celebrating your country’s birthday by accusing everyone of being fascists!

Hanging with blogger friends — and Miss Marcella. I keep joking that New York is the new Chiang Mai because so many travel bloggers pass through! This month, Steph from Why Wait to See The World (formerly Twenty-Something Travel) and Mike from Art of Adventuring visited for a few days with their 11-month-old baby Marcella. We met up with Jodi of Legal Nomads and former blogger Joel. Fun fact: I have partied with all of them in Thailand.

Steph and Mike are two of the blogger friends I’ve known the longest, so it was amazing to meet their baby. She’s definitely a kid of the 2010s — she smiles big as soon as you aim a phone at her! I hope to hang with the three of them (but let’s be honest, mostly Marcella) once they move to Bologna this fall. Like I need an excuse to drop by my favorite Italian city…

Celebrating a special bachelorette. A travel blogger friend celebrated her bachelorette party in New York this month and I got to plan a lot of it! While she was open about it being her bachelorette on social media, I’ll let her tell the story on her blog when the time is right.

Drinking on the Staten Island Ferry. This is my new favorite thing to do in New York. Did you know that it’s totally fine to drink on the Staten Island Ferry? They sell beer in both terminals and you don’t even need to brown-bag them. My friend Matt loves to do this and he invited all his friends to join him on his birthday.

The result? Around 25 of us rode the ferry four times in total, drank a variety of beers and ciders, ate cookies, visited the Flagship Brewery in Staten Island, and had a grand time! Matt even made us cozies that read “I don’t start partying — I keep partying.” SO MUCH FUN.

A fun day trip to Montauk and the Hamptons. My friends Beth and Colleen and I drove all the way out to Montauk, which is a bit ambitious for a day trip from New York (you should really stay overnight), but we had a blast anyway! I’ve wanted to visit Montauk since I got into The Affair, and we visited several sites from the show, including the Lobster Roll, the restaurant where many key scenes take place.

I really liked Montauk, even though we didn’t have the best weather. It’s very casual and down-to-earth, albeit quite expensive. Also expensive but much fancier were East Hampton and Bridgehampton, which feel like New York transplanted to the beach — LOVED it. Also, there was a guy with four border collie puppies and I got to play with them.

Later the weather cleared up and we stopped at the gorgeous Wolffer Estate Vineyards for a tasting. The single best dish I ate this month was the lobster spaghetti at Almond in Bridgehampton — perfectly cooked pasta with lobster claw meat, red scallions, grilled cabbage, lemon, crushed red pepper, and parmesan. There’s one in Manhattan, too!

Visiting the Museum of Broken Relationships display in New York. I visited the actual museum in Zagreb years ago and loved it, so I was delighted to hear the exhibit was coming to Flatiron for two days. It featured artifacts from New Yorkers’ past relationships and the stories behind them.

Challenges

I went through the biggest tech headache of my 7.5-year blogging career this month. My site was attacked twice by a Russia-based operation that disguised their traffic to make it look like it was coming from all over the world.

Not only did this shut down and block a lot of you from the site, I also took a financial hit. My display ads stopped running due to the influx of poor quality traffic and I had to pay a lot out of pocket to get the issues fixed.

And not only that — it took several teams of tech professionals weeks to figure out how to block the attack. Finally, the team at Sucuri figured it out and shut it down. If you run a website for business, I highly recommend you get protection with Sucuri so you’re prepared in case an attack happens to you. Their basic plan is just $9.99 per month.

Anyway, I went through hell and back this July. I’m glad to now have my site in the hands of the team at Performance Foundry, who are making my life infinitely easier by handling the site, protecting it, as well as managing myriad tech issues I never dreamed existed.

We had a weird encounter in the Hamptons. While at dinner at Almond, we sat down next to a table of slightly intoxicated men around our age. One made a comment along the lines of, “Sorry our friends are drunk,” and Beth said something innocuous like, “Oh, that’s fine with us.”

Well. We think that they might have misheard her, because that’s the only explanation for what happened next! They started glaring at us, making snide comments to each other about us. Then one leaned over and said, “You’re in town for the weekend? Oh, that’s CUUUUUTE. I live here.”

What the fuck?! Seriously?

Colleen and Beth and I looked at each other with giant fake smiles on our faces, unsure of what to say to each other. The men were sitting so close to us that they would hear everything we said. Eventually I started telling stories about Scrooge McDuck and we started talking about…that. Every time we laughed, their table would swivel their heads toward us and glare. One even banged his head on our table and pretended it was an accident.

The men left when our entrees came and as soon as they were gone, we exploded. What was their problem? Why would you treat strangers like that? What did they think she had said? We had been afraid to move or say anything because we didn’t know what they would do next and it looked like they were friends with our waiter. Just such a bizarre experience.

The “summer of hell” on New York transit. A lot of construction is taking place this summer, especially at Penn Station, and the trains are running slow and less often. 1 trains aren’t running to my stop on the weekend this summer, and on two different weeknights it took me two hours to get home from Brooklyn. This reminded me of how grateful I am not to have to commute to work, though.

Most Popular Post

All of the July Elevenths — Who knew that my past July Elevenths of the past seven years were so significant?

The Other Post

A Sizzling Summer Trip to the Florida Keys — Everything I did on that trip, including the Hemingways. Oh God, not like I DID the Hemingways. I’ll stop talking now…

Most Popular Instagram Photo

If you’ve got a purple sunset on Instagram, it will clobber the rest of your photos. This was taken in Key Largo.

For more live updates from my travels, follow me on Instagram at @adventurouskate!

Fitness Update

“What do you want out of this training?” my trainer Gayle asked me this month.

“Are you kidding? I’m just to look good!” I told her. “This is purely aesthetic!”

She laughed. “So how would you like to look in particular?”

“Sexy arms.”

“We can do arms!”

“Can we do the arms of Michelle Obama?”

And that’s why I’ve been doing a lot of work on my arms and shoulders this month.

What I Read This Month

I went overboard on books this month, and yes, it’s actually possible to do that. I read 10 books, including the 1100-page behemoth 1Q84. For four days in a row, I read four books cover to cover. It was too much — my brain felt fried and I couldn’t write.

The good news is that I’m on track to finish the 2017 PopSugar Book Challenge next month! Only six books remain! Here’s what I read in July:

The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas (2017) — This is the best book I’ve read this year and the one I’ve been recommending to everyone I know. The story is narrated by sixteen-year-old Starr. She’s black and lives with her family in the inner city while attending a mostly white prep school in a wealthy suburb. It’s hard enough maintaining two different identities in two very different environments. Then one night, she’s driving home with her friend Khalil when he’s pulled over by the police and shot to death for no reason. Starr is the only witness and she has to decide whether or not to speak up.

What I love about this book is that it’s not only topical and relevant, but it’s also beautifully told. Every character is so perfectly formed, you fall in love with each of them, and Starr’s family is one of my favorite families in literature. I didn’t want to say goodbye to them.

I believe in the power of literature to teach compassion and empathy. An academic study has shown this. For that reason, The Hate U Give could be instrumental in raising kids who grow up to fight the shameful racism that engulfs our country. If you’re a parent, an aunt- or uncle-type figure, or a teacher, I encourage you to introduce this book to the teenagers in your life. I hope to see it become a classic. Category: a book that’s published in 2017.

Bleaker House: Chasing My Novel to the End of the World by Nell Stevens (2017) — Have you ever thought that you could easily write a book if you didn’t have any distractions? Going on that premise, Nell Stevens was finishing her MFA and had the option to go anywhere in the world on a three-month writing fellowship. Rather than Europe or Southeast Asia, she chose to go to the Falkland Islands — specifically, an island with no one else on it. In winter. How could she not write a book in those conditions?

Well, things did not go to plan. Turns out living completely alone on a stormy island, having no social contact with anyone, dealing with nonfunctional internet, and surviving on 1100 calories per day is neither healthy nor sustainable and won’t make you a better writer. She tells several story fragments in the memoir, but none of them had potential to become a longer work. I found this book utterly delightful and one of my favorite reads of the year. If you’re a writer or blogger, I highly recommend you give this one a read! Category: a book that is a story within a story.

Blood, Bones, and Butter: The Inadvertent Education of a Reluctant Chef by Gabrielle Hamilton (2012) — This is a book that I’ve wanted to read for quite some time. My sister loves it and Anthony Bourdain considers it the best chef memoir of all time. This book tells the stories of Hamilton’s life leading up to her career as the chef and owner of Prune in the East Village, from family lamb roast parties as a child in New Jersey to cocaine- and larceny-fueled years as a waitress in Manhattan to living and cooking with her husband’s family in Puglia each summer.

The best memoirs are interesting stories told in an interesting way, and this book fits the bill. The layers upon layers of details are fascinating, and if you love food, you’ll appreciate everything Hamilton has to say. I love memoirs about work, whether they’re about cooking or comedy or writing or being Richard Branson, but I have to say that the book’s weak points are the parts about Hamilton’s relationships with her mother and especially her husband. Perhaps that’s not fair of me to say, as both her mother and her husband had a huge impact on her love of food and subsequent career. But I found they put a big damper on what was otherwise a wonderful book. Category: a book about food.

The Riddle of Penncroft Farm by Dorothea Jensen (1989) — Back in the fifth grade, I read Baby-Sitters Club books voraciously. My teacher called them “taco chip books” (that made me furious) and demanded that I read something more substantial. She recommended this book, I read it and enjoyed it immensely, and I’ve always remembered it fondly. So when it came time to read a book from my childhood, I chose to revisit this one.

Lars is a kid who moves to his great-aunt’s farm in rural Pennsylvania, not far from Valley Forge. His eccentric aunt is a Revolutionary War buff and avid bamboozler. Soon Lars is visited by Geordie, a ghost (or shade, as he says!) who was his age during the Revolution and tells Lars his stories so he can unravel a mystery to protect his family. This book is such an engaging read about a subject kids are likely studying in school and it’s a great book to get them interested in history. Category: a book you loved as a child.

Black Dog Summer by Miranda Sherry (2014) — I picked this book up at Shakespeare and Company in Paris a few years ago, but it’s been sitting on my shelf forever, so I decided to finally read it now. Sally is living in the South African bush with her daughter when she’s attacked and murdered by intruders. But Sally doesn’t die properly — she stays on as a spirit, drifting alongside her daughter as she moves in with her aunt’s family. Soon Sally must use her powers to save her daughter and her family.

I did enjoy reading this book from a narrative perspective, but I never would have chosen it today. I love South Africa and this is not the point of view of South Africa that I like. In a country that is only 8.4% white*, yet where whites hold enormous economic privilege and wealth, this is a story about almost exclusively white people where the only black characters are witch doctors or murderers. If you want to read a more inclusive, nuanced book about South Africa and South Africans, I suggest you read Born a Crime by Trevor Noah, one of my favorite reads of the year so far. Category: a book with one of the four seasons in the title.

Hunger: A Memoir of My Body by Roxane Gay (2017) — This memoir has been in the news a lot this year, and for good reason. It broke all the rules. It doesn’t have a plot or much of a structure. It doesn’t involve a transformation. And it’s not an inspirational tale — not remotely. In fact, it’s very sad and never rises or falls in tone from beginning to end.

Gay writes frankly about living as an obese person today. Her weight issues began after she was sexually assaulted as a twelve-year-old; she wanted to make herself “big” and thus “safe.” Her words about trying to be accepted by her family and society, searching for peace in herself, and finding and losing love will break your heart. Gay is known for her intersectional writing, and she covers many angles of being a queer obese woman of color, as well as the daughter of immigrant parents. This book will give you new levels of compassion. Category: a book about an interesting woman.

From Pavlova to Pork Pies by Vicki Jeffels (2016) — I met Vicki and her husband at a conference in 2012 and was captivated by their love story. She was a recently divorced Kiwi and mom of three who went on holiday to Paris; while there, she met a younger Englishman, fell in love with him, moved to England with her kids, and got married. This book is a loose fictionalization of their journey — unlikely romance, family-blending, transcontinental move, and jumping through immigration hoops.

I enjoyed reading this book, in part from a dying-to-know perspective of their crazy love story. That said, the book isn’t professionally edited, and there are issues — for example, the tense switches back and forth between past and present, which is one of my biggest pet peeves. But if you’re willing to overlook that, this is a lovely little love story, especially if you’re interested in transcontinental romances and blending families. Category: a book by an author from a country you’ve never visited.

1Q84 by Haruki Murakami (2009-2010) — What a strange book. I’m still not sure how I feel about it or whether I think it’s a good book, but it’s unforgettable, that’s for sure. What is 1Q84 about? It’s a descent into a parallel world, told from the point of view of two thirty-year-old narrators living in Tokyo. It involves a love story, a vigilante assassin, a gifted ghostwriter, a powerful cult, and some fantasy and science fiction elements tying it together. Magical realism? Sure. And it’s 1100 pages long.

My biggest issue is that Murakami, like many male authors, has his female protagonist talk about her breasts constantly. Come on, dude. In addition to that, so many questions go unanswered and critical moments in the plot are rammed through quickly while dozens of paragraphs are devoted to the mundane (like all the unnecessary food preparation scenes).

But you know what? I couldn’t stop reading it. And I enjoyed it immensely. So I encourage you to go for it, and don’t let the long length intimidate you — it reads very quickly. Category: a book that’s more than 800 pages.

Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur (2015) — I’m glad I started reading poetry again — this is my second volume this year. Rupi Kaur tells poems drawn from her life, divided into four categories: “the hurting,” “the loving,” “the breaking” and “the healing.” These poems are simple, touching, familiar, and accompanied by Kaur’s drawings.

he says i am sorry i am not an easy person to love i look at him surprised who said i wanted easy i don’t crave easy i crave goddamn difficult

I dare you not to relate to these poems. Category: a book with pictures.

Lincoln in the Bardo by George Saunders (2017) — Well, this might be the most original concept of a book I have ever read — and also one of the batshit craziest. In 1862, one year into the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln’s 11-year-old son Willie died of a fever. After Willie was interred, Lincoln returned to the crypt at night to hold his son’s body. This book is a fictionalization of that night — told through dozens of voices of spirits in the bardo, which Tibetans believe is the waiting place before spirits move on to the next world.

Imagine dozens of spirits who have no idea they’re dead, jabbering on about the unresolved issues in their past lives, fighting with each other, arguing like mad, spouting gibberish as evil forces try to overtake them. And that’s about as much as I can say about it — I’ve never read anything like it. I imagine this is the closest book I’ve read to James Joyce’s Ulysses, a.k.a. the book that scares me the most. Category: a book from a non-human perspective.

What I Watched This Month

I feel like I need a discussion group for Orange is the New Black. Season Five was weird, wasn’t it? Without giving away spoilers, this season takes place during a prison riot. And while there were many serious moments in the season, some of the plotlines were ridiculous and seemed out of place.

Where can they narratively go after a riot, really? The prison was damaged in the riot! The inmates can’t stay there — they’ll be sent to separate prisons! It feels like the writers painted themselves into a corner.

But I still love this show. It’s amazing for racial diversity, queer visibility, and telling the stories of women who are too often ignored. And it has created major awareness about private prisons in America, which could have been a contributing factor to Obama ending the federal government’s use of private prisons (which was reversed by 45, part of his overreaching efforts to undo everything the black dude did).

What I Listened To This Month

Here’s something you didn’t know about me: in high school I was obsessed with the “Thong Song.” I thought it was hilarious as well as a great dance song, and I played it constantly. I even wrote a song about the rise of Unitarianism in America to the tune of the Thong Song for an AP US History project. (You could do literally anything for a project and get an A.)

Well, they’ve finally remade it with JCY, and it is great. Sisqó said that he’s been asked to do a remake so many times but this is the first one he actually liked. It’s so faithful to the original yet sounds like it was created in 2017. Give it a listen if you haven’t yet — I bet you’ll love it! As far as the video goes, though…kind of weird casting. I mean, the dumps were definitely not like a truck.

Coming Up in August 2017

After a relatively quiet June and July, August is going to be a busy month of travel for me.

First up, Booking.com asked me if I wanted to revisit my least favorite city and give it another chance. Well, my actual least favorite city is Manila and I didn’t want to go that far, but my second least favorite city is just 90 minutes away by train: Philadelphia. If you’ve been following me on Instagram or Facebook, you know how it went! Expect a full post on it this week.

Next, I’m visiting a new state: Colorado! I’m working with the city of Vail to see just how enjoyable a ski town can be in the summer months. I see no reason why it won’t — ski towns are full of mountains, which are even more beautiful in the summer. There will be frolics through the wildflowers and hiking with a llama. Afterwards, I’m going to visit Denver for a few days and spend time with my cousins.

At the end of the month, I’m flying back to Europe for a 2.5-week trip. The first destination is one of my favorite countries to visit during the summer: Finland! I’ll be attending the World Air Guitar Championships in the city of Oulu (yes, seriously, I’ve wanted to go to this event for years) and will be road-tripping across the forested Lakeland region (pictured above), ending in Porvoo and Helsinki.

After that, I’ll be visiting some new-to-me countries in Europe. I’m fairly certain August will conclude in Belarus.

Any suggestions for my upcoming trips? Share away!

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[wanderlust225]

An Asian culinary education: Singaporean hawker stands

The next morning, we made a quick trip to 40 Hands for super hipster coffee (cold brew, of course, but this time served in a tumbler with lemon peel - like a cocktail at 9am) and at 9:45 our tour guide Gerry picked us up for a morning of "hawker" fare. The name comes from hawker stands which (for Americans as they're super common all over Asia) are basically food stands, like you would see in a mall food court. They were super popular for our parents' generation but are a dying breed now as many kids don't want to take over the hot, labor intensive and underpaid jobs from their parents. On our way to our first destination Gerry explained this is a second job that he and his wife started to teach tourists about Singaporean culture and to meet new people from around the world. With us on the tour was a very cute couple from Orlando who were seasoned Asia travelers, the wife being half-Chinese. Gerry was 4th generation Chinese Singaporean and explained that Singapore was (in his words) "kicked out" from Malaysia in 1965 given its predominantly Chinese citizens, versus the mostly mulim Malaysia. He defined the Red Dot country as "resilient" because without any natural resources the country had to think of something else so they used the tride and true lure of low tax rates to become one of the regions financial and business powerhouses. Over the last 52 years (they celebrate independence in August, and had many displays of preparation) they have only had one government -- it's technically a democracy but lucky enough for the party in charge, there are no term limits! (I asked about his political leanings but although many on my trip are quick to note I'm from "Trump's country" many aren't comfortable sharing too much of their political thoughts with a relative stranger.) We arrived at Maxwell House Center and the first thing I saw was a sign that said "no touting!" I was very cautious to follow the rules in Singapore so I asked what it meant and Gerry explained that touting is haggling - so I should be good there. He showed us some tables and left for about 20 minutes to wrangle up some food and beer (yep, at 10:30am). When he returned, the food just kept coming; traditional Hainanese chicken with rice (a Sing staple), frog in a clay pot (yum!), delicious pork buns (of course), fried tofu (so smooth), a few fish dishes (I was conveniently "too full" to touch), 3 different kinds of spring rolls and Tiger beer. As we ate he explained a bit more about his family and told us that his father (like many senior citizens) run side hustles for more money. Up until recently, his dad ran a betting book! We walked around Chinatown a bit with the most interesting point in my mind being the Chinese medicine shops which sold all sorts of dried animals as ingredients for medicine - sting rays, seahorses, eels, you name it! He also explained the wrapped collared shirts we saw on sale were for offerings so you could send a loved one new clothes, and even iPhones, iPads, watches, etc (paper replicas, of course). The next hawker stand was on the second floor of a shopping market, so a lot more like a mall food court. Gerry pointed out that one of the hawker stands was actually Michelin star rated, though he assured us that he had tried their chicken and rice and what we had earlier was better, without the 100 meter line. We instead had a lovely tray of duck, chicken and pork - all smothered in a yummy asian sauce, a delicious non-fried spring roll with peanuts and cabbage inside and more beer (including Anchor, which is Singapore's brew)! He also explained that Sing people are obsessed with getting enough wealth to afford the 5 C's (though he could only remember 4): car, condominium, country club and credit card. That could certainly be why their so laser focused on progress. When the tour ended we asked that he drop us off at the National Gallery as Yayoi Kusama was on exhibit, and he stopped off with us to make sure we knew exactly where we were going - so sweet! I hadn't heard of Yayoi before but Amy had been to an exhibit in Europe and my friend Andy (from HK) had been here a few weeks prior and encouraged us not to miss it. She was born in Japan in 1929, immigrated to the US in the 1950s and "obliterated" art ever since. She is best known for her infinity nets and series of dots - "obliteration is not only in the act of making the pattern, where the self is buried in the repetitive, labour-intensive process. It is in the viual effect of merging figures into the background." I would not call myself an art enthusiast and, while insane (both her pieces and Yayoi herself), the exhibition was incredible and super fun to experience. Then it was time to continue our buzz with a classic Singapore Sling at the classic Raffles Hotel where, it is said, a bartender created the drink to help English women disguise the fact they were uncouthly drinking alcohol! With pineapple and lime jice, Dom Benedictine, cherry liquer and contreau it goes down pretty easily - but with the SGD 30 price tag we stuck to just one! Later that night we went out with Sarah and some of her girl friends to the very popular Potato Head (yep, the same company as in Bali). Although warm and humid (a given now), it was nice sitting up on the rooftop and we enjoyed a few bottles of sav blanc, like any 20-30 somethings (at home or abroad!) are apt to do. Sarah's friends were really interesting and my favorite discussion was when one of her friends disagreed with my assessment that 200 years from now everyone will speak either Chinese or English -- she said, English will be gone and we'll all have replaced letters with characters - Chinese are immigrating to new and growing nations by the millions, starting businesses where there is opportunity and spreading their influence (ex: look at Africa). As they say, time will tell! We got home late but Sarah had thought ahead and produced lots of Singaporean treats for a late night snack. They were all sorts of colors and shapes, from green to white to brown and orange and rolls to muffins to balls and bars. In my mind though, and with most Asian treats, they all tasted the same - a slightly sweet dough, often with hints of coconut. Delicious!

[minitravellers]

So according to BBC breakfast today my generation (those born between 77 and 83) are called the Xennials - apparently we forged the way between the old & new and got the best of both worlds! We experienced a childhood of playing outside, children's TV, Mattel toys and the first home computers & consoles. Our generation saw the original Transformers, Care Bears, My Little Ponies and He-man. We adopted Cabbage Patch kids with squished faces, strange names and autographed bottoms. We had the Broom Cupboard, Going Live and Wacaday. We appreciated that we had 2 hours of tv that was just for us at the end of the school day. We sang the tunes to Willy Fogg and Dogtanian and thought that Cities of Gold would never end. We thought that Dynasty was super glamorous and Byker Grove was gritty. We all wanted to live on Ramsay Street and we cried when Scott and Charlene got married. (We secretly knew all along that Plain Jane would be pretty once she took her glasses off.) We watched Degrassi Junior High, read Sweet Valley High and wished we went to school in America. We got excited when the tv trolley was wheeled into our classrooms and had one BBC master computer that we got to use as a treat...usually to make a robot go round a maze or something equally as exciting. It didn't matter though because the BBC Master used floppy discs which were a thousand times faster than the cassettes we used on our Commodore 64s at home! We remember the countdown clock that the BBC showed before their school programmes & can remember being genuinely scared whilst watching 'Dark Towers.' The last day of school was games day and someone always brought in Screwball Scramble which nobody could ever complete! We could create our own games without staring at a computer screen. We played tag, denio 123 and British Bulldog (before the teachers banned it!) In the summertime a sprinkler could provide hours of fun. We didn't watch YouTube videos of people unboxing toys - we played with our own! A 'Choose your own Adventure' book allowed us to choose our own destiny - especially when we could go back to page 22 to avoid being killed! We learnt how to make plans without the need for WhatsApp, group messenger or email. We chatted for hours to our Friends on the land line & got yelled at by our dads when the phone bill arrived! Our friends were actual people that we knew - not online followers. We received real cards on our birthdays not text messages or exploding marshmallows and had to write actual thank you letters to our Grandma's rather than sending a message online. The postman used to come twice a day and there was no online shopping so the delivery of a parcel usually meant a present! Oh and we all really really wanted a Mr Frosty for Christmas but never ever got one! We took proper photos on actual cameras and had to wait for them to be developed before we could see how awful we looked. A 'selfie' was taken at arms length and usually came back from Truprint with an 'over exposed' sticker on it! There were no filters to disguise those spots & red eyes but on the plus side there was less embarrassment as the images would not be posted on social media for all the World to see! We had to use an actual book for our high school homework but discovered the joys of 'Ask Jeeves' as we did our A-levels - that was if our Mum wasn't on the phone hogging our dial up internet connection. At university we typed our essays & dissertations on a word processor as there were no laptops. We queued up to use the computer suites but spent most of our time sending long emails to other friends at uni rather than doing any work! We owned mobile phones that could not fit in your pocket and could only text people on the same network as you. We spent hours playing Snake on our Nokia 3310s. We all knew someone who had a pager but we could never really see the point in them! We grew up watching the greatest films ever made; Ghostbusters, The Goonies, Grease and Gremlins. We all watched Karate Kid and believed we could be a champion too because we could 'wax on...wax off.' We watched Dirty Dancing and hoped that one day we would have a holiday romance with a Patrick Swayze look a like. We watched the Back to The Future trilogy and worked out how old we would be in 2015 which seemed so far away. We grew up with an awareness of the World that our parents did not have. We giggled at 'Position of the fortnight' in More magazine and all read 'Forever' by Judy Bloom, but were still innocent enough to be shocked by Zammo's drug addiction on Grange Hill, PJ being shot in the eye with a paintball gun and the uncensored lyrics to 'Don't stop' (wiggle wiggle) by the Outhere Brothers. And as for the naked man playing tennis on the beach in the early sex education videos we watched at school - we were totally traumatised!! We also grew up to be more considerate of others. We remember the original Band Aid single and all the subsequent re-releases (even the dodgy 1990 version featuring Bros & Sonia) We can recall the horror we felt when John Craven showed us images of starving children in Ethiopia. We were the Blue Peter 'Bring & Buy sale' generation raising money for wells in Africa & orphans in Romania. We were fearful when we heard about the hole in the Ozone layer and embraced the 'No animal testing' mantra of the Body Shop. We saw the first televised lesbian kiss on Brookside, watched Mark die of AIDS on Eastenders and saw the demise of the old-school racist, homophobic & sexist comedians. We remember when a 10 penny mix up bought you 10 (or more!) sweets! When a MrFreeze cost 5p and Curly Wurlys were really long! We know the excitement of opening a box of cereal to retrieve the free gift hidden inside. We remember proper milk bottles on the doorstep & Barr pop where you got 20p back when you returned the bottle. We can never hear the words 'Accrington Stanley' without replying 'Who are they?' In a dodgy scouse accent. We didn't wear the most stylish of clothes & we never posted photos to share our daily outfits. Tammy Girl was the only place to shop till you fitted into Topshop sizes. A gift basket from Body Shop was the ultimate birthday gift and we slathered ourselves in Dewberry, White Musk, Exclaimation & Impulse believing that one day a stranger would actually stop to give us flowers on the street just like the advert. We made the move from vinyl to cassette and Cd. The Walkman was the ultimate accessory and we taped the top 40 every Sunday desperately trying to avoid the DJs voice! We read Smash Hits and Look In and tried to learn all the words to 'Joe le Taxi' because Vanessa Paradis seemed so sexy & aloof. We hoped one day that a boyfriend would present us with a mix tape but in the meanwhile we made our own. We boosted our cd collections by repeatedly subscribing to Brittania Music. Of course we now all have iTunes but we still can't bring ourselves to throw away our cd collections! We went to university before tuition fees and bought houses before prices became inaccessible. We watched Big Brother when it was good and cheered when Craig ousted Nasty Nick. We saw people become famous because they were talented - not just because they appeared on a reality show. We were old enough to be out partying on Millenium Eve and were relieved that the World did not succumb to the Millennium bug after all; no planes fell out of the sky and no nuclear bombs were launched by accident! We travelled more than our parents did thanks to the emergence of budget airlines, teletext holidays, inter-railing, Club 18-30 and Twentys. We thought we were so independent but still wanted our dads to drive us to the airport & still had to give our parents 'three rings' to let them know we had arrived safely. So yes, to all those who like me were the babies of the late 1970s, the children of the 80s, the teens of the 90s and the young adults of the new millenium, I think we did get the best deal. More technically savvy than our parents but experienced enough to know that social media & technology are not the be all and end all. To be honest I am pretty proud to be a Xennial - aren't you? http://ift.tt/2t37FoE