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something-tofightfor · 3 days ago

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A Wonderful, Awful Idea / 5

Pairing: Pero Tovar x Female Reader (Modern AU)

Word Count: 9,438

Summary: You and Pero have talked things through - and it's time to figure out what comes next for you.

For both of you, though, that means being open, honest ... and asking for exactly what you want.

Rating: M/E : This is a smutty one, friends. It's finally happening.

Author's Note:

The end is here, and I cannot thank you enough for the support and interest you've shown in this story. It definitely grew from what I first envisioned it to be, and I'm really happy with the outcome - I hope you are, too. It's always so intimidating to write for a new character, but to know that one of my favorite Pero writers - I'm looking at you, @oonajaeadira - has enjoyed this take on him means a TON.

The title comes from Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

Thank you for reading!

*dividers by @/strangergraphics

You both sat on the couch while you ate, and Pero filled you in on exactly what had happened with the power at the party.

“Something in the kitchen overloaded the wiring.” He waved his hand in the air, fingers clutching the remnants of a sandwich. “And when they tried to reset that breaker, they tripped the whole building.” He laughed, shaking his head and swearing under his breath. “That’s how it all came back so quickly.”

“I’m glad it wasn’t anything serious.” He nodded as he chewed. “Did they get pissed at you since you weren’t right there to protect Christina?”

“No.” He took another bite. “The assignment was never to be right beside her at all times. William and I were further away than her team, and I just happened to be near you.” You didn’t quite think that was the truth; Pero had to have searched for you in order to be that close, since you’d purposely moved almost all the way across the party space. “And I got to where they were as soon as I could to assess the situation. I did my job.”

“You protected me.” You took a bite of the food he’d gotten you, giving yourself a few seconds to think. “You were there to protect someone else, and you still … You were mad at me, Pero. I didn’t expect …”

“I did. And I would do it again. I told you that.” He sipped from his cup, lips wrapping around the straw. “Even upset, I was still worried about you.” Pero balled up the wrapper from his meal and then leaned back against the couch cushions. “I was actually going to pull you to the side at the party and apologize because I acted like an asshole. But you didn’t give me the chance.” He looked past you and his eyes widened. “It’s almost midnight.”

You looked, too, and with a smile you realized that as soon as the clock struck 12, you could be the first person to wish Pero a Merry Christmas. I wonder if he’s ever had anyone with him for a holiday like this before. “I’m sad we don’t have our hats from the meet and greet.” You looked back at him, grinning. “Santa Pero tucking me into bed on Christmas Eve would be -”

He groaned, covering his face with both hands as you laughed, reaching over to settle your hand between his shoulders. “You would like that, wouldn’t you.”

“I would.” Leaning in, you let your mouth hover just above his ear. “I would like that very much, Pero Tovar.” You weren’t used to having to take such a lead with men, but until Pero truly believed that your interest was genuine - and not short term - you had no issue with being a little more forward than usual to get results. Because I don’t think it’ll be this way forever. He just needs to get comfortable.

“I kept your toothbrush.” He looked over at you, a half smile on his lips. “I hoped you’d get to use it again.” Really? You both sat up and Pero pointed at the hallway. “I’m going to clean up out here, if you need to do anything to get ready for bed.” He stood, reaching out with one hand. “I have one request though.” Arching a brow, you waited for him to continue. “Wait… and let me help you out of those clothes.”

It took a little while for the two of you to do what you needed to do, but the whole time, your heart was racing.

You figured he was nervous, too, but you hoped that it was in a good way, Pero’s desire for you outweighing any lingering apprehension he felt about the situation. By the time you made your way into his bedroom, flipping the light switch on and taking a look around the space, you were determined to do whatever it took to put him at ease. It keeps me from getting into my own head, too.

There were a few photos on the walls - mostly of Pero, Lin and William, but there were a few more, too, that looked like they’d been taken on his phone and printed out. Some of them were scenery, some of them were cityscapes, and you made a mental note to ask him about them - and where they’d been taken. Later. Not tonight.

His room was cozy, and out of the other places in his home that you’d spent time in, it felt the most like him. It wasn’t just because it smelled like Pero - it also seemed to be the most lived in. “I like seeing you in here.” He appeared in the doorway, and then leaned against it. “It’s unexpected, but I like it.”

“Do you?” He nodded, eyeing you up and down. I like being in here. “Your bed looks comfortable.” You pointed, leaning back and against the dresser. “Is it?”

“You’ll find out soon.” Pero stepped forward, his motion smooth and slow, almost graceful. “Before anything happens, I …” He stopped in front of you, lifting one hand to tilt your chin up. “After what I told you earlier, I figured you might have some … concerns.” Oh. The paying for sex. I didn’t … “It’s been months since I’ve done that. I’m careful, and always use protection. And afterward…” He wet his lips. “I get tested regularly, since all of my relationships are short-lived. I haven’t been with anyone since the last time I got results, so …” He reached into his pocket and pulled his phone out, holding it up. “I can show you, but -”

“I trust you.” You put a hand at the center of his chest. “And I know you’re going to say that it’s stupid to trust someone with something like that, but I do.” Because trust is important. He looked confused and then the expression turned to acceptance, Pero’s gaze moving over your face. “Anything else?”

“No.” He paused, and then frowned. “Well, yes.” You smiled at that, giving him a chance to continue. “I might need …” He closed his eyes and groaned. “Just be patient with me, please?”

“Patient?” He nodded slowly. “Of course, Pero.” But what does that even mean? “Do you need anything else, or are we in here for the night?” He thought for a few seconds and then moved his head from side to side, eyes locked with yours.

“I only need you.” Inhaling sharply through your nose at the confession, you didn’t even think about it before you leaned in and kissed him, the tips of your fingers curling inward and against the material of his shirt. His hands settled in at your waist to hold you close, and when Pero returned the kiss, he did it with purpose, his full lips moving with yours like it wasn’t a new thing.

You felt his tongue probing along your lower one and parted them for him, hoping that Pero wouldn’t tease you the same way he had earlier. Seconds later, you got your wish when it slipped past your lips to meet yours, Pero’s fingers digging in and making you sigh. He stopped immediately, breaking the kiss and backing off enough that you saw the wide eyed expression on his face. This must be the patience thing.

“That was a good noise. Please don’t stop.” You moved your hand as you spoke, sliding it over so that you could begin to undo his buttons. “This shirt is a great color for you.” Breaking eye contact, you watched the motion of your fingers and listened to each of Pero’s sharp inhales as you moved downward. “I can’t wait to see it on the floor.”

He snorted at that and you were thankful for it, the sound confirming that he wasn’t getting too lost in his own head about what was happening. “I was thinking the same thing earlier tonight about what you are wearing.” He spoke quietly, pulling the bottom hem of your shirt free from where it was tucked in. “But I was also wondering what you have on beneath it.”

You reached the last button before his waist and then looked back up, biting your lip. “You’re about to find out.” His smile spread slowly, the expression one you weren’t used to seeing him wear. Pero tipped his head to the right and dropped a kiss at the corner of your mouth, hands sliding up and beneath your shirt so that his palms were flush with your skin.

It was your turn to gasp then, the warmth of his hands comforting. He continued to kiss his way across the lower half of your face, lips skating over your cheek and then toward your ear before dropping down to follow the line of your jaw. Your hands stayed busy, moving lower to the button on his pants and popping it free, which gave you a chance to pull his shirt loose, too, and finish undoing it.

He groaned when you touched his abdomen, pushing the sides of the shirt apart, and when Pero backed away, there was a wild look in his eyes.”I like this. The … slowness? You are taking your time, and… it is new.” Glancing over his shoulder so that you could see the clock on his nightstand, your eyebrows shot up. Perfect.

“I’m just enjoying opening my first present.” You wrinkled your nose. “Merry Christmas, by the way. According to your clock, it’s after midnight.” He turned to look, too, and then said your name when he faced you again.

“Sorry that I am not wearing a bow.” He wet his lips, the flash of his tongue distracting you. “To make this more festive.”

“You don’t need one.” Using one finger, you prodded at the chain around his neck. “This is shiny enough.” And. “And I think you should leave it on.” That took him by surprise, but Pero quickly agreed, the arch of one eyebrow telling you that he was intrigued by your request. “Help me out here.” You moved your hands to his shirt again, easing it back and over his shoulders. “Let go of me for a second.”

He did. It only took you moments to remove the silvery fabric, revealing that beneath it, he had on a black v-neck t shirt that was stretched over his chest and shoulders. Holy shit look at him. “What is that look for?”

“I… you…” Gesturing with one hand, you laughed nervously. “You’re still almost fully dressed, and …” You trailed off as he reached down and pulled the shirt up and over his head, giving you your first real glimpse of skin.

“There. Now I have solved your problems.” He grinned, scratching at the back of his neck with one hand.

“No, you’ve given me about a million more.” That made him laugh, and when Pero reached for your hand and squeezed it, leading you the few steps toward his bed, you followed. You eyed him as you walked, mapping the way his muscles looked as they moved beneath his skin and the way his unbuttoned pants sat at his waist, hugging his hips.

“I think,” he started, turning back to look at you and reaching for your shirt, his fingers working the buttons. “That I enjoy you looking at me this way almost as much as I enjoyed the way you spoke to Christina that first night.” He paused, palming the swell of your breast with one hand and then returned to his task. “Would you say the same thing to anyone else that talked about me like she did?”

“Would you want me to?” You were breathless as you spoke, the feeling of his touch and the heat of his gaze making it hard for you to concentrate. “Is that something that I can… oh God, Pero, please just…” You broke off mid-sentence as he finished and began to push your shirt over your shoulders, his hands sliding slowly up your body. “Keep touching me.”

The smile remained on his face as he removed your shirt, the material sliding down your arms and then onto the floor. Instead of putting his hands back on your torso he used them to cradle your face, tilting it so that when he leaned in, your mouth was perfectly lined up with his. “Yes.” He mumbled the words between kisses, one hand siding back to the nape of your neck and the other dropping to your shoulder. “I would want you to.”

You whimpered at that, wrapping your arms around Pero and stepping forward to press yourself against him. The feeling of his bare chest pressed to your body made you almost dizzy, and when your fingers dug into his back for balance, He grunted, pulling on the strap of your bra and dragging it over your shoulder.

As much as you wanted to slow things down and savor the first time you went to bed with Pero, you knew that as soon as he removed your bra, there’d be no going back. And that’s fine. It surprised you when he broke the kiss and spun you around, winding his arms around you from behind and then ducking his head to kiss your shoulder. Wait, what is he…

Pero rocked his hips forward, the hand on your stomach urging you backward while the other one slipped downward, the tips of his fingers dipping beneath the waistband of your pants. Tipping your head back so that you could lean it against his shoulder, you sighed, closing your eyes. He was hard beneath his own pants, the length of him pressed against you, and when you reached for the hand on your belly, guiding it upward, he let you.

He got the hint - Pero using that hand to paw at your chest, the contrast between his skin and your bra moving against your skin almost distracting you from the fact that his other hand kept moving lower and lower, pushing your pants with it. “Pero, I -” That was all you got out before he kissed you again, the angle not the most comfortable but still welcome, as was the way he bit down on your lower lip before sucking it between his. Fuck, I am lucky.

He pushed the lace of your bra - one of the ones you saved for special occasions - to the side and then swirled a thumb over that nipple, the motion making your back arch and pushing you into him again. Pero’s mouth moved from yours back down to your shoulder and stayed there, the scrape of his stubbled chin sharp in contrast to the way he touched you elsewhere. But I don’t want him behind me. “What is wrong?” He spoke quietly, turning his head inward and nuzzling against your jaw. “You are stiff.”

“I want…” You hummed, reaching down to stop the movement of the hand at your waist. “I want to look at you, Pero. I want to see you, not just feel you.” Turning to face him, you nodded at the sight of the confused expression he wore. “We only get this once.”

You hoped he understood what you meant - that after that night, you’d never get the chance to be together for the very first time again. And I want it to feel personal, not like … not like it’s just something that’s happening. “Whatever you want.” He smiled again, hands gliding down to squeeze your hips. “I cannot wait to see all of you.”

Taking that as a sign, you reached up and behind you, unhooking your bra and then shrugging out of it before letting it drop to the ground. He watched that, lips parted, and then looked back at you, his palms following the contours of your body as they rose. Yes. Finally. You arched your back again, encouraging him to keep going, and when Pero’s hands finally made it to your chest and he touched you, you moaned, closing your eyes.

As soon as he heard that, his touch went from light and exploratory to certain, pushing your breasts together as he leaned down and mouthed at your collarbone again. And when he moved lower, you urged him to continue with one hand in his hair, fingers tangled in his locks.

He took one nipple between his lips and sucked on it before releasing it only to follow that with a few quick flicks of his tongue before switching to the other side. You would have been content to stand there for hours, but Pero straightened up, his eyes blazing as he met your gaze again. “I think it’s time we get into that bed.” He cleared his throat, both hands still stroking over your skin. “Do you want me to turn the lights off?”

“No.” You answered immediately, flattening one hand against his chest. “Unless that makes you more comfortable.”

Your answer took him by surprise, but Pero wasted no time walking you backwards the few steps it took you to reach the bed. And when your shins made contact with the frame, he stopped you, both hands moving to the button - and zipper - of your pants, undoing them swiftly. He pushed them down so that you could step out of them, but left your underwear in place.

You were stunned that you didn’t feel self conscious standing in front of him in so little, because it hadn’t been that way with your previous partners. You sat down on the edge of the bed, looking up at Pero and watching as he put a hand on his hip and stared at you. A few seconds later, his smile widened and Pero reached for his waist, finishing with the zipper and easing his pants down.

He was wearing trunks, the waistband low on his hips, and the legs stretched tight around his upper thighs. “Wow, Pero.” You licked your lips, head shaking back and forth as you eyed him, lingering on his torso - and waist. “I had no idea you were hiding that under all those clothes.”

“I could say the same about you.” He reached down, adjusting the elastic over one hip without looking away from you. “Beautiful.” Heat rushed to your cheeks then, and you ducked your head but still heard Pero’s quiet chuckle. “You do not like compliments either, hmm?”

“I’m not used to them coming from you.” Cautiously, you looked back up and put your hands out, waiting for him to take them. “Want to get in here with me?” He nodded, taking a half step forward and standing between your legs. “C’mere, Pero.”

He leaned down, mouth finding yours again, and the series of events that followed happened almost before you could process it.

As you kissed, Pero put one knee on top of the mattress and balanced his weight on it, using the forward motion of his body to urge you onto your back. He let go of your hands, sliding one of his beneath your head while he flattened the other palm on the bed, allowing him to hover over you. You moved your hands over his back, exploring the expanse of muscle as it flexed beneath your touch. I can’t believe this is happening.

When you moved them down to his waist - and then lower, palms curved to follow his contours, Pero growled into your kiss, his hips snapping forward to push his length against the front of your hip. Your fingers curled inward, holding him in place - and Pero took the hint.

He lowered his body more, grinding against you and letting you feel the weight of him. “Pero we need to move up. I…” Sighing as he paused long enough to breathe - and kiss the column of your throat - you shivered the words out. “I want us to be comfortable, and…” He backed off, giving you an opportunity to resituate yourself - and then he was on you again.

He straddled you, legs spread wide so that when he leaned forward, he could continue the same motion as earlier. Your hands returned to the same place they’d been before, too, but instead of just touching him, you pushed your fingers beneath the material and held onto him, guiding his hips with skin-to-skin contact for the first time.

But Pero didn’t kiss your mouth again; instead he worked his way down your throat to your chest, lips trailing along the length of your collarbone before he bit down gently, accompanied by a thrust of his hips. You could feel the cool metal of the chain as it dragged against your skin, your mind trying to focus on that and the feeling of his mouth at the same time - and failing. You were overwhelmed by him, and he’d barely touched you. I haven’t really touched him, either.

He dragged his tongue over your skin and kissed his way down, drawing one nipple back between his lips before releasing it with a pop. “I could do this all night.” He spoke without moving away from you, the breath from each exhale warm as it hit your damp skin. “But I am impatient, and I’m sure you are, too.”

He moved off of you and then laid down beside you, stretching out along the length of your body. When you turned your head to look at him, you weren’t expecting him to kiss you right away, his hand laying lightly against your cheek.

Wiggling your hips, you settled in, heartbeat rapid, even after he backed away. “So I have to be patient, but you get to be impatient? That doesn’t seem fair.” He rolled his eyes, mouth opening to reply - but you didn’t give him the chance to. “Lay back.” He did as you asked, and then you propped yourself up on one elbow, taking him in.

You were impatient too, but the desire to remind him that you were thinking beyond that night was more important. I need to show him that I want him. Sliding your hand over his stomach, you focused on the skin beneath his navel and above his waistband, fingertips circling over the dark trail of hair there before you moved back up, dragging the edges of your nails along his skin. Pero grunted, gritting his teeth - but didn’t look away.

You leaned forward and kissed his chest, closing your eyes as you pressed your lips to his skin. You kept your hand moving, too, covering as much of his body as you could without wavering in your attention. There were parts of him that were more sensitive than others - his body jerked when you reached a spot on his side that was about halfway up his ribcage, and he groaned at the feeling of your tongue dragging slowly over the base of his throat, the breath leaving him in a whoosh when you took the chain between your teeth and tugged.

But when your hand moved back down at the same time you redirected your kisses to the underside of his jaw, Pero stopped you, his fingers closing around yours. “No. Stop.” You raised your head in concern, but he didn’t look angry - just overstimulated. “If you touch me now, I will not make it inside of you.” He swallowed as your eyes widened in surprise. “Next time. I promise you, but … not yet.”

“Ok, Pero.” You took a deep breath. “I understand.” He squeezed your hand and then released it, and you used it to balance yourself as you lowered your head again, mouth returning to its previous path. Pero’s hand moved almost lazily up your side as you left a trail of kisses across his face, though you avoided his mouth. You lingered at the patch in his beard before turning your head inward and nuzzling against his nose before taking another breath and deciding that if you were in - you were all in.

When you pressed your lips to the bottom edge of his scar for the first time, Pero’s hold on you tightened, but you didn’t let that deter you. You followed the length of it with your lips, mindful of the fact that he could tell you to stop at any time, but it wasn’t until you softly kissed his closed eyelid - and felt dampness beneath your lips - that you pulled away. “Pero? Is everything… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have -”

“No.” He moved faster than you thought was possible from his position, rolling the two of you over so that you were on your back and he was above you again. “You are … no one has ever…” He couldn’t get the words out, but you understood what he was trying to say. “You are too good for me.” His voice was unsteady, but he kissed you in the pause before he spoke again, mouth gentle. “I do not deserve someone like you after what I -” He needs to stop this.

“You do, Pero.” Reaching up, you took his face between his hands, forcing him to look at you. “You deserve good things. You deserve to be happy. And all of those people that treated you like shit don’t matter, because the way they were to you says more about them than it does about you. And I know this is entirely too fucking much for the first time with someone, but you need to hear it. If I have to keep reminding you that that’s the truth, I’ll do it every single time we’re together, if that’s what it takes.”

He was stunned - you saw the surprise in his eyes … but to your relief, he didn’t contradict you. “If you say so.” He gave you a small smile. “Did I ruin it?”

“No.” Biting the inside of your lip, you cocked your head to the side. “You can go ahead and find out just how much you didn’t ruin it if you want.” He looked confused, but after a few moments seemed to understand, shifting back into position next to you and then dragging his hand down the length of your body. “You can touch me, Pero. I -”

That was as far as you got before he did as you asked. Pero’s eyes went wide as he felt the dampness of the only piece of clothing you still wore, your back arching as you reacted to his touch. “You are … this is…” He looked down, chest heaving as he watched the movement. “Shit.”

He touched you through the thin material first, two fingers gliding along the outline of you, and when you widened the spread of your legs to give him more room, he took the opportunity to add a third finger and some pressure, his attention still on his hand. But that’s fine, you rationalized as he swirled his fingers in a slow circle. I want him to watch.

You reached down then, lifting your hips again to push the waistband down and over your thighs. Pero helped you out, tugging them further and exposing you to him for he first time. He slid his hand back up the inside of your thigh, and when he finally touched you, you moaned at the feeling, closing your eyes and pressing your head into the pillow. “Pero.”

You didn’t recognize the sound of your own voice, but it did something to Pero, who dropped his head, lips latching onto your shoulder while his fingers kept moving. He parted you with two of them, using a third to circle slowly over and over in the space between. It felt incredible, Pero’s touch not at all what you’d expected, and when he widened the circle and extended his fingers down, you curled your toes and opened your eyes - one hand fisting the blankets beside you and the other clamping down against his bare back.

He slid one finger into you and you rocked your hips forward, Pero replacing lips with teeth as you tilted your chin down, burying your nose in his hair. One finger became two, Pero thrusting them in and out of you slowly. He was slow and methodical, entirely focused on what he was doing - and you couldn’t get enough.

Widening the spread of your legs even more, you rolled your hips to meet each thrust, mouth open as you took and released quick, shallow breaths. You didn’t even register that he’d released your skin from between his teeth until Pero’s head rose and he spoke your name. “I think you’re ready for me. I hope you’re ready for me, because -”

“Yes. I - ohhh.” He kept his eyes on you as his hand continued to move, and even though it was difficult, you didn’t close yours. You caught the smile he gave you as he watched your reaction, Pero’s lips quirking upward and his eyes darkening. “Need you, Pero.” Reaching down, you touched his wrist, pushing on it gently. “Please.”

He removed his fingers slowly, and you hummed as they slipped free. “Give me a second.” He brought his hand up, eyeing how slick they were - and then before you had a chance to say anything, he popped them into his mouth, eyes closing at the taste of you. You gasped, but it didn’t cover up the sound of his deep, satisfied groan. Holy fuck, I wasn’t expecting that, I didn’t…

He rolled away from you, fingers still in his mouth, and then you heard the bedside table drawer open. It’s happening. But Pero stood up suddenly, climbing out of the bed and then tossing a condom toward you. “What are -”

“What do you want?” He glanced down as he spoke, hands at his hips and beginning to push his underwear down. “No, that is the wrong question.” He looked back up, the smile back on his face, though that time, it was more of a smirk. “How do you want this?”

“I…” You were torn between looking him in the eye and wanting to watch the final bits of his skin come into view. “Pero, I…” He laughed, the sound low, and then stepped out of his underwear, briefly bending over before he straightened up, giving you an unobstructed view at his entire body. Wow. Ok. You wanted to touch him - wanted to know what he felt like in your hand and sliding between your fingers. You wanted to taste him, too, the thought of weight of him against your tongue and the heat of him as he came consuming you. But that’s not happening tonight.

Pero reached down with the same hand he’d touched you with to wrap his fingers around his length, which distracted you again. Damn him. “Well?” He stroked himself lazily, and you filed the motion away for later, paying attention to the way he held himself and where he squeezed just a little extra. His hands are so goddamn big. “I need to know how -”

“Whatever you’re used to?” You rested one hand on your abdomen, turning your cheek toward the pillow without breaking eye contact. “I want the opposite.” It was yet another risk to ask Pero to consciously choose a different position and approach to sex than he usually did, but you hoped that he understood why you were asking for it - and what you hoped it would signal. “Is that alright?”

He was surprised by your request, but it didn’t keep him immobile for long, Pero putting one knee on the mattress and climbing back into bed. He reached for the foil square with his free hand and only let go of himself when he moved to open it. “It’s more than alright.” He looked down, and then resituated his hand at his base as he rolled the condom on, nodding his head. “It is a good reminder.”

He crawled toward you then and leaned over, using the knuckles on one hand to stroke your cheek. “A reminder?”

“Yes.” Pero stretched out beside you, rolling onto his side and facing you. “That this is not that.” He understands. Pero closed the distance between you, his hand on your side. When he kissed you, it wasn’t quite timid but there was a slight hesitation before he fully committed to it, his full lips slotted with yours before he parted them, urging you to do the same. It’s going to be OK, Pero.

As the kiss deepened, he used the hand on your side to guide your leg into place, positioning it so that your thigh rested atop his hip. You could feel him that way - pressing against you, each shallow flex of his hips increasing the contact.

“Are you sure?” He spoke between kisses, his damp forehead pressed to yours. “That you want this? With me?”

“I am.” You nodded, moving your hand from the back of his head to his shoulder. “Are you?” He didn’t speak, but Pero reached between your bodies, his fingers brushing against your center again as he lined himself up. You kept eye contact with him as he inched forward, and were unable to look away, even as he used a slow thrust to push inside of you. Finally.

You nodded after a few seconds and then Pero rocked forward again, moving his hand to the back of your thigh to pull you closer. “I need a minute.” His voice was strained, and you could see that he was gritting his teeth. “If I move, I -” You kissed him then, interrupting his words and trying to keep your own hips from moving. It’s alright.

He didn’t need to explain to you, because you understood. You were already tightly wound from the way he’d touched you, and thanks to the way he was holding you open, you knew that once he found a rhythm, you’d be able to come from the friction of your body against his alone. And if I finish quick, he will, too.

Pero licked into your mouth, tongue dragging over the edges of your teeth, and when he moved his hips, you did, too, meeting his motion. As he picked up speed, the kiss turned sloppier and his grip on your thigh tightened. You threaded your fingers through his hair, gripping it and tugging, mouth hanging open as you lost yourself in him.

You stopped trying to kiss him back and instead turned your head so that you could pant into his ear, Pero’s cheek pressed against the pillow and each of his exhales hitting your throat. He kept hold of your thigh and lengthened his strokes, slowing down. What is he…

When he rolled forward, pushing you onto your back, you went willingly, Pero angling his hips so that he could keep moving. But when he pulled all the way out of you you cried out, fingers tightening in his hair and against his shoulder. “Why did you stop?” You gasped the words out, eyes wide open as you stared up at him. “Pero, why did -”

“I did not stop.” He murmured the words, leaning down to kiss you again as he ran the hand on your thigh along your skin. “I paused so I could make us more comfortable.” After sitting up, he reached down with both hands and widened the spread of your legs so that he could kneel between them. You didn’t miss it when his gaze moved over the length of your body, or the way his jaw twitched at the sight of you, Pero’s fingers curling against your thighs.

“You’re a fucking tease, Pero Tovar.” You covered your face with both hands. “And you know it.” He laughed, the sound low, and then you felt the mattress dip as he shifted, one of his hands releasing your leg. I want to see this.

Propping yourself up on both elbows, you looked down and watched as he concentrated, eyes moving between himself and you as he re-aligned. Pero’s shoulders rose and fell as he took and released a deep breath… and then he was sliding into you again, the sight of his length disappearing into your body making your eyes close as you collapsed back onto the bed.

He started with deep, slow thrusts as he leaned forward, hands moving to the blankets on either side of your body. By the time he’d stretched out enough that he could bend his elbows and rest his weight on them, those movements had quickened. He went deeper from that angle, each forward flex of his hips accompanied by a quiet grunt and met with a reflex thrust of your own.

You flattened one foot on the bed and bent your knee, angling that leg outward while wrapping the other one around his hip again, your heel digging into the back of his calf and urging him even closer - which was next to impossible. As you closed your eyes, you raised both hands and dug your nails into his shoulders, not even trying to conceal the noises you made - and to your delight, Pero didn’t, either.

You’d remember them forever - the way he grunted and groaned, a quiet snarl escaping his lips when you lifted your hips and met a particularly sudden thrust of his, which was followed by an equally devastating one, his head dropping so that the tip of his nose met the front of your shoulder. He kept it there for the next few minutes, his bedroom filled with the sounds both of you made, but when he spoke your name, pulling it from deep within himself, you forced your eyes open, watching as he raised his head and looked down at you.

Pero didn’t falter in his movement, and you bit your lip at the way he gritted his teeth, nose wrinkling before he was able to speak again. “You feel incredible.” He swallowed, nodding as he continued. “Fucking perfect.” It was enough to make you shiver, and you knew he caught the motion when he actually smiled, Pero leaning down to kiss you on the mouth. “Will you come this way? Is -”

“Mmhmm.” You closed your eyes and gasped, back arching off of the bed when he swiveled his hips, the length of him buried inside you. “Oh, fuck, Pero.” He switched to shallow thrusts, giving you a chance to collect yourself. “Can you?”

“Of course.” He licked his lips, nodding. “I am holding back, I -”

“Don’t.” Don’t you dare. “I don’t want you to.” Moving one hand from his back to between your bodies, you nodded again, flexing your calf muscles. “Come, Pero. Let me feel you.” You dragged your hand over your skin and moved your fingers into place, making sure to graze his skin with the edges of your nails. He looked confused for a second, but when you went lower, spreading your fingers wide enough so that you could feel where he entered you, the look in his eyes changed to one of understanding. “Fuck me like you’ve waited three years to do it, Pero.”

He sped up again, maintaining eye contact for a few seconds before he slammed them shut and tilted his head back. You closed yours, too, sighing. It felt good, the length of him sliding between your fingers before you moved your hand into place, two fingers pressed against your skin and gliding in a slow circle. But before you could find your own rhythm, Pero slowed down again, a growl tearing from his throat.

“No. Not like this. Not with you.” You opened your eyes, the motion of your hand stuttering - and it stopped when you saw the way he was looking at you. He’s never looked at … oh, shit. Pero’s brow was furrowed, his lips parted, and he was staring at you like you were the only thing he ever wanted to look at again. “Let me watch you.”

He sunk into you all the way and then paused, rotating his hips in a slow circle. It trapped your hand between the two of you, and Pero’s eyes were molten when he spoke again, voice low and full of need.

“Let me feel you.”

He drew his hips back, giving your hand the space it needed to begin moving again. You were hesitant. But when he nodded, arching a brow, you let out a long breath and did just that.

Starting slow, you circled your fingers, dragging them through your slick and spreading it over your skin. You hummed at your own touch, letting your mind wander to Pero’s fingers earlier, and when he started to move again, gradually increasing his pace to match the motion of your hand, you squeezed your eyes shut and let out a shaky breath. “Pero, it won’t…” You hummed, adding pressure and a little speed. “It’s going to be quick, and -”

“Good.” He leaned down, mouth finding yours briefly. “We have waited too long.”

You agreed, and that was all you needed to speed up more, touching yourself the way you usually did. Eyes opening again, you found that Pero was still watching you, though his were heavy lidded - evidence of his body’s response to yours.

As the moments passed, you felt your own body’s response - a heat in your belly, the quickening of your heartbeat, muscles tensing as you got closer and closer to a moment that hours earlier, you hadn’t imagined was possible. “Pero, I -”

He smiled at you, nodding, and when you let go of him to drop your hand to the mattress, he grabbed for it without missing a beat, linking your fingers together and bringing both of them up next to your head. His grip tightened with your gasp, Pero’s hips flexing forward at the same time you thrust yours upward, increasing the friction.

It was enough.

You came with a gasp, fingers stuttering as your muscles clenched around him, Pero’s motion continuing as your toes curled and you squeezed his hand. He mumbled two words - that’s it - and you watched as his smile grew, your own mouth hanging open as you pressed your head into the pillow. Oh my god.

You cried out as a wave of pleasure coursed through you, the feel of him moving within you prolonging the moment - and then Pero was coming, too, one last sharp thrust burying him as deep as possible as he finished. You felt him as he filled the condom, Pero’s release coming in spurts as your body pulled him in deeper and sent a second wave through you, making you shudder beneath him. Oh, fuck. Oh fuck, I…

Your hand fell away from your body and Pero’s head dropped again, his breath ragged as he rested his forehead against your shoulder and more of his weight on you.

Neither of you said anything for almost a minute, and to your surprise, it was Pero who opened his mouth first, head turning inward so that when he spoke, it was against the side of your neck. “I do not want to move.” He sighed and then kissed your skin, lips pressed to your pulse point. “Are you alright? You -”

“Pero.” Unlinking your fingers, you reached up and dragged them through his hair, pulling the sweat-damp strands away from his face. “I’m more than alright.” He lifted his head to look at you, eyes wide. “And I don’t want to move either, but if we don’t, I’ll fall asleep right here, and that would be messy.”

His lips twitched into a half smile and before you could say anything, he was kissing you, tongue dipping past your lips and into your mouth. I’ll never say no to this. He kissed you deeply, only breaking it when he needed to breathe… but the smile was still there and his eyes were bright - Pero obviously sated but still alert. “You’re right.” Without saying anything else, he reached down between you and then pulled out, rolling away and laying on his back beside you.

You missed him immediately, and weren’t able to conceal your gasp at the way it felt to realize that, head turning to the side so that you could look at him. “Pero, I -”

“No.” Turning his head, he winked at you. “Not yet. We will talk when we are done.”

Ten minutes later, you stepped out of the bathroom wrapped in one of his robes only to find the bedroom empty.

Your pulse had settled and you felt calmer, though you were still reeling from what had happened between you. You hadn’t stopped smiling while you were in the bathroom - even as you washed your face and brushed your teeth again, the expression had stayed put. And it’ll be there for a long time, too. Because … that was everything I wanted.

“Are you going to sleep in that?” He spoke from behind you, and when you turned toward the sound, you saw that he was holding two bottles of water, his shoulder pressed against the doorframe. “Because if you are, you are overdressed.”

He’d only put on his underwear, and you didn’t even try to keep from staring at him greedily, taking in the sight of his almost naked body. “I didn’t plan on it.” You untied the belt and let it drop to the floor, the sides of the robe splitting apart to expose a strip of skin at the center of your body. “If that’s alright.”

“It is preferred.” He moved closer, holding one of the bottles out to you. “I usually wear nothing to bed.” That was a piece of information you filed away, too, and after draining almost half of the bottle, you shrugged the robe down and over your shoulders before tossing it to the side and getting back into bed - though you climbed under the covers that time.

He flipped the light switch off and then drank deeply from the bottle before setting it down and taking off his underwear. Even in the low light coming in through the slats in the window blinds, you could see him clearly, watching his outline before he climbed into bed and moved as close to you as he could get. “What were you going to say earlier?” He flattened his hand atop the pillow as he spoke, though he didn’t touch you.

“I was going to say,” you started as you stroked the length of his bare arm, knuckles dragging along his skin. “That when you just … rolled away? It was … I missed …” Just say it. “It’s so stupid, Pero, but you were there and then you weren’t, and I realized that -”

“It is not stupid.” He moved his hand enough so that he could touch your face, his thumb sliding over your cheek. “I was … abrupt. I will work on that.” He inched closer, his cheek scraping across the pillow. “With you, hopefully.” He blinked slowly, and you felt as he held his breath, waiting for your response. Oh, Pero.

“We might need a lot of practice.” Biting your lip, you also moved your head closer, though you didn’t break eye contact. “But I’m up for it.” A smile spread slowly across his face, Pero’s eyes widening slightly before he closed them, mouth finding yours in a brief - but tender - kiss.

“Practice is the only way to improve.” Moving his hand from your face to your side, Pero curled his fingers over your hip. “I hope that tonight was what you wanted it to be.” Is he seriously questioning this?

“It started out kind of rocky, but yeah, Pero. It was.” You paused, thinking. “It is.” It made your head spin to think about everything that had happened throughout the previous evening - and the weeks leading up to it. But it’s worth it. He’s worth it. “How do you feel about this?”

“About this or about you?” He narrowed his eyes, but then grinned. “Because the answer is the same for both: I feel good. This is what I want.” He kissed you again, nodding. “You are what I want.”

His direct response caught you off guard. But as the kiss continued, his arm winding around you and pulling your body flush against his as you flattened your hand against his back, you understood that it shouldn’t have. If there was anything that you knew to be true about Pero, it was that when he spoke, the words had meaning. It takes him a lot to get there, though.

The kiss ended and as Pero settled back in against the pillow, he yawned, you not far behind. “It is late.” He sighed, moving his leg so that he could hook it over your calf. “We should sleep.” You agreed - you were exhausted, and the warmth and comfort of being in bed next to him was making you drowsy.

Instead of replying, you tucked your chin and rested your forehead against his collarbone, closing your eyes. I could get used to this. He kissed the top of your head and you felt when he relaxed, the weight of his arm heavy where it laid against your body. I might already be used to this.

You began to doze off, but were interrupted by the quiet utterance of your name, Pero’s fingers dancing over your lower back. “Thank you. Thank you for not giving up on me tonight and making me listen to you.”

“It wasn’t just me.” You didn’t move your head, speaking the words with your lips just above his skin. “Christina was -”

“She put us in there, but it was all you. You said what I needed to hear, and I know you would not have made so much of an effort if you did not mean it.” He kissed you again, that one lingering. “Please don’t stop doing that.”

You assured him that you wouldn’t, but the steady beat of his heart was lulling you to sleep, and you didn’t even try to open your eyes. We’ll talk more later.

The following afternoon, you pulled up in front of William and Lin’s, Pero’s fingers tightly laced with yours on the center console.

He’d woken up before you - and woken you up with his hands and mouth, Pero trailing touches and kisses over every part of your body that he could reach without disturbing you. From there, you’d had each other again - once in the bed and then again after breakfast, Pero pulling pleasure from you with his fingers in the kitchen before leading you into back into his bedroom.

You’d showered at his place and changed back into your clothes, which made the stop at your house short, leaving you plenty of time to get to your destination. You hadn’t talked much about what came next, or how you’d present yourselves to your friends. But the fact that they know I left with Pero and didn’t come to get my car was probably telling.

“Pero, we need to talk about something before we go in.” Shifting in your seat, you squeezed his hand. “What will we tell them? They’re not stupid, but -”

“They are not.” He cocked his head to the side, gesturing at the house with his free hand. “But is it their business? We don’t… we don’t even know what this is, do we?”

“I know what I’d like it to be.” Pressing your lips together, you took a deep breath. “And what I think it could be, but … it’s only been one night, so maybe you’re right. Maybe we should just say that it’s not something we’re ready to talk about.”

“Then we are on the same page.” He leaned closer, lips curving upward as he smiled. “Maybe we should just wait and see if they ask, and then we decide how to respond.” The same page? Really? It shouldn’t have surprised you, especially with the way Pero had responded to your touch that morning and the previous night. It was obvious there was more to things than just physical attraction, that it hadn’t waned between you after the first time you’d been together.

You wanted to kiss him in reply, but instead just nodded, giving him a return smile before pulling your hand free. “Want help carrying stuff in? I know you only have a couple presents, but I might as well make myself useful.” He laughed, nodding, and moments later, you were walking side by side up the driveway and toward the door. As the two of you paused on the front step, Pero reached for the doorbell while you froze, eyes on the space just above his head. Shit. Damn you, Lin.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” He frowned, and then tilted his head back, looking up, too. “Oh. Is that … what I think it is?”

“Yes.” You chuckled, looking down and closing your eyes. “That definitely wasn’t there yesterday. I can’t believe she’d put mistletoe up after the diner. It -”

“She is clever.” Pero took a step forward, reaching out to touch your chin. “I should have known.” His gaze dropped to your lips, Pero’s expression thoughtful. “It is tradition.” Heart pounding, you parted your lips and closed the distance between you, your fingers tight around the handle of the gift bag you carried. It is. “And I did say it was not the mistletoe I was saying no to, just the timing.”

“Shut up and kiss me, Pero.” He laughed quietly but did as you asked, his lips warm against yours. You leaned into him, one hand flat against his chest, and your own heart beating wildly behind your ribcage. You meant to pull away quickly, but he didn’t let you - instead moving the hand at your jaw to the back of your neck, holding you in place while he continued to kiss you. He nipped at your lower lip, the bite of his teeth making you gasp.

But Pero only laughed quietly and did it again before he deepened the kiss, his tongue pressing forward to meet yours and giving you a taste of the mouthwash he’d used at your place.

“Well that worked out better than I thought it would.” With a jolt, you broke the kiss and whipped your head to the side, finding Lin and William standing in the open doorway, her phone held in her hands. Oh no. “Now I don’t have to ask how last night went.”

She lowered the device and your attention moved to William, the man’s attempt to hold a laugh back not at all successful. “No, you don’t.” Pero cleared his throat and stepped closer to you, his arm winding around your waist. “And now we don’t have to figure out a way to tell you, either.”

William laughed and Lin’s eyes widened as they stepped to the side to let you in. Say something. This isn’t what we just talked about. “Pero, I -”

He stopped you with a kiss to the temple as you crossed the threshold, his arm tightening. “This makes things much easier, I think.”

He wasn’t wrong. William and Lin had seen - firsthand - what they needed to see in order to answer questions about what had happened between you the night before, and about whether or not things were resolved in regard to the contract. They’d still probably ask questions, which was fine. But maybe now they’ll do it in private. You knew you’d say much more just to Lin, and figured that Pero would be the same with William.

After taking your coats and boots off, the four of you headed into the living room. You and Pero put your gifts beneath the tree with the others and then moved to sit on the couch while William and Lin chose an oversized chair, the woman curling up on his lap.

Pero lowered himself onto the cushions first, and then, to your surprise, reached up to take your hand, fingers closing around yours before he pulled down on it. Oh. Is he… “Come here.” You sat next to him, leaving very little space between you. He released your hand as you got comfortable, draping his arm across your shoulders and urging you to lean against him. He is. He really…

You couldn’t help yourself, closing your eyes as you leaned in further to kiss Pero’s stubbled cheek before whispering the words “I like this” into his ear. He hummed, fingers tightening on your shoulder. There was no containing your smile as you straightened up, moving your hand over to rest it on his thigh. I really like this.

“So.” Lin cleared her throat and then spoke, her eyes bright as she looked between you. “Are we opening presents now, or after we eat?”

#pero tovar #pero tovar x reader #pero tovar x female reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal character #pero x female reader #pero x reader #the great wall #the great wall fic #pero tovar au #the great wall au #pero tovar masterlist #pedro pascal masterlist #christmas story #pero tovar is grumpy #masterlist #writing

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marymary-diva17 · 3 days ago

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Abandoned sully (1)

Being the child of Jake sully was something that any child would be proud about, and everyone had praised the family for their close bond. There was someone who was a baby of a war hero jake and neytiri had other child a girl before Lo'ak and Kiri but she was not living with them.When she was born she was not like the rest she was born on rumored bad day and if five fingers were not something that scared anyone else, but some her human colored eyes scared them. Everyone had thought she will bring bad luck or she is a bad omen, all the the clan were in uproar of what shall become of the child, the alliance was in danger. Neytiri and Jake had to a hard decision to give up their daughter for the sake of everything else.

All the clans were in uproar of what will become of the child as no on wanted to keep the unions if you were still at the omatacayia clan.So neytiri and Jake had to make the hard decisions for their family, the clan, and for the rest of pandora they gave you up.

Moat " hear my words clearly my daughter once you hand over your daughter this can be fixed" Moat and some elders told them not to do this as it will result in bad outcomes for everyone, but they were outnumbered in voted.

Neytiri " mother we have to do this for our family and the clan"

Moat " she is your family"

Neytiri " she can't stay here if we keep her the clan will pay and make her pay ... we are doing this for everyone and her"

Moat " you disappointed me daughter your father and sister will be ashamed of you"

Jake " listen moat we are sorry but we will have to do what we think is right I'm olo'eyuthan and my word is final and it law, that what you and your daughter have taught me"'Jake looks at his mother in law, as he stands up for the decision him and his mate have made.

Moat " then I will take her to a new home a place where she will feel safe and welcome"

Neytiri " no mother let us take her so she can remember us"

Moat " I'm an tshaik and elder I out rule the both of you now hand over the child it will be best if you stay here and, attend to your family and not some unknown baby" moat had taken the baby out of her daughter hand and soon called her ikran.

Neytiri " mother please let her take this her song chord so she can remember us" neytiri was praying for her mother to hear her word, and just do this small for her.

Moat " oh my daughter she will remember enough of everything and everyone"moat had glared at the string holding one gem, she didn't dare touch it right now. As she knew this songchord will only bring sorrow to the girl.

Neytiri " please mother she needs to know we love her and will be waiting for her return"moat soon sighed and soon took the song chord into her hands.

Moat " my the great mother forgive you all for your crimes against this child, but mark my words what ever happens in the future is all become of the decision made today"

Jake and neytiri " ......."

Jake " we will stand strong together as couple and as parents for Kiri and neteyam, and in time she will never understand of the choice that had to be made here tonight"

Moat " oh Jake sully you have fallen from the mighty hero you once were" moat turned her back on her daughter and Jake, but the couple followed her.

Jake " tell us where you are taking her as her parents we have rights to know"

Moat " the great mother has spoken you won't know where she is until right, now leave me be as you have two other children to attend to let's hope you don't abandon anymore kids until then"

Neytiri " mother "

Moat " I most leave if I'm going to get her there on time" moat soon got on her banshee and soon took off, into the air she was made about what was happening. She knew the child was innocent and old nasty rumors were sending her away from her family and clan.

Many hours later

???? " who is there you know it wrong to interrupt a tshaik when she listens to eywa"

Moat " hello my old friend" moat was looking at an elder tshaik women.

Tupia " moat it been so long I have heard your daughter has given birth to a baby girl"

Moat " yes that why I'm here I have come here asking for sanctuary for the child"

Tupia " come with me and we can speak about this serious matter" soon the two women and left to speak at Tupia home about you, and even Tupia was not happy about what she had heard. As the two elders talked you had been left in with some caretakers and younger kids, who already started loving you.

Tupia " these young tshaik and leaders think they know everything, and the elders are worst holding the past against a child"

Moat " yes and if she stays trouble will come and I don't wish that for my granddaughter" moat worried about the safety and wellbeing of her granddaughter.

Tupia " she can stay here and learn the ways of the Navi, the group will welcome her"

Moat " Thank you"

Tupia " does your daughter know of the major effect's because of her actions"

Moat " I have tried speaking with her and Jake but they don't listen, they are worried about their family and clan"

Tupia " they don't worry about their own child"

Moat" it seems like that"

Tupia " do they know what the out come of this will be for them and everyone else"

Mo'at " no they don't I have tried telling them that but they won't listen this is my own solution ... she can't go with the humans as they are being test by the other clans"

Tupia " some of these human can come here and see the child as she might get Illness I can't cure here, and it will help her as well to undertake why she have five finger and toes"

Moat " I will see if they can happen but seeing how they are loyal to Jake and his command they might not come"

Tupia " then they will face harsh criticism from her when she become older hasn't anyone listened to you"

Moat " they are all young and not experienced in life yet and think what they are doing will be explained easily for the child"

Tupia " there a difference between fantasy and reality my friend ... they will see their actions to keep everyone else safe will be hard to get a child or teen to forgive them"

Moat " it seems like my daughter was hoping she could rebuild a relationship with her when she was older rand welcome, her back home"

Tupia " we will see if that happen my friend ... oh little y/n you will become something great it sad you will have to face it being seen as someone bad until the truth comes out"

Moat " I will come see her when I cam and tell her what she needs, I won't keep her in the dark like everyone else was thinking"

Tupia " understood" moat soon left but not without hugging you on last time and kissing your forehead she was sad to leave, but she knew her clan needed her and you will be safe with her friend. You could understand you were being left behind and it took Tupia some time to clams you down but soon everything was better. Once moat had come home she didn't speak with anyone as she was upset about the situation she was praying to see you once again and that you will be well. Moat had knew you are safe and loved by those who will be there for you, until the end and make you into a wonderful Navi in time.

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venomwrites · 9 hours ago

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Warnings for violence, character death, sadness. Also on Ao3

It takes weeks for their first resupply.

The airship is well stocked. Too well stocked, if Vi thinks about it. It’s a week before she realizes this was someone’s escape. She spends the next days torturing herself with who they could have been, what their faces could have looked like when they realized their ticket out had been punched. Did they see them flying away? Were they able to get out? But then Jinx mumbles that she’s hungry and the torturous thoughts shift back to the reason she’s here. She promised Jinx that they could go. Jinx didn’t want to help but she was willing to shuffle out of the bunker with her. All of the guards had been shifted to the gates. But their luck seemed to hold all the way to the Airship docks. It held as they got onto the ship. It was already started, already humming like it was waiting for them. It wasn’t, it was waiting for someone else but Jinx shuffled forward and so Vi took it. She’d been pick pocketing for weeks before Jinx got her, but this is a huge job. Her hands shook as she cast off the rope and her side ached as she scrambled onto the ship. But Jinx pointed to a button and she thumbed it and the job was done. Full gas, full supplies, the beds were maid with fresh linens. She and Jinx curled up in the smallest one, limbs locking together like they were kids again.

For weeks they just drift where the wind takes them.

Half the time they don’t even put the engines on. Their destination is ‘away’. So they drift and conserve fuel. Jinx just stares away mostly, barely even having the energy to speak. Shifting back into taking care of her is like breathing. Vi combs and braids her hair. She boils the fresh food into stews and forces it through strainers turning it into something finer. Some she stores away. Some she guides through her sister’s lips on the days when Jinx can’t bring herself to eat. She remembers how to make brine and pickle vegetables. Soon one of the pantries is full of jars that will last them long after the fresh food is supposed to rot. She sorts through the contents of the ship and creates piles of things they can sell. During that process she finds a box that is so stuffed with credits she claps it shut and looks for witnesses. There are none. It’s just her and Jinx on this airship and Jinx is in the wheelhouse with the windows slitted open. Vi doesn’t let her on the deck unsupervised right now. Jinx doesn’t fight her.

Eventually though they do need gas.

By that time Jinx is a bit more alive, but not by much. So Vi coils her hair under a cap and puts her in some of the clothing left for the servants. She pulls on some of the clothing left for the family. She knows they might be looking for her so she chooses a dress instead of pants and finds the cosmetics laid out for the woman. She pains her face and puts on a hat with a little veil that helps hide her scars. When she tests the undergarments they fit oddly well and she thanks whoever is listening their luck is holding. She pulls on the dress and stockings and fawn colored cape. When she comes out Jinx looks at her quietly for a moment and Vi rolls her eyes to let her know she’s aware of how foolish she looks.

“Next time you can be the lady if you’re up for it,” she says.

Jinx doesn’t reply.

Vi gets the airship parked following Jinx’s quiet points. She ties it off and goes to speak to the man in charge of the dock. He’s a stout, old man who straightens up when he mistakes her for a lady. Her heart aches at how much he reminds her of Benzo. She hopes he made a good welcome for Dad. The idea of them together in the afterlife always felt nice. Now she knows it’s a reality. Finally. She swallows down the lump the thought brings and focuses on the man.

“We need gas,” she says, “water,” she pretends to consider, “somewhere to restock our food,” the man is still staring at her and Vi wonders if they’re going to have to run. They have enough to get somewhere new, but it’ll be close, “sir?”

“Apologies, ma’m,” he says, blinking back to life, “forgive my rudeness, we just didn’t think anyone made it out.”

The adrenaline doesn’t dissipate now that she know she hasn’t been caught. If anything it gets worse. The man softens and comes around the counter. He hesitates a moment before he embraces her tightly.

“There’s still hope then.”

“Did you have family there?” She tries and he shakes his head.

“No, thank the Gods. But friends do.”

“We left before it happened,” she says, “we ran.”

The word comes out unexpectedly choked.

“None of that,” he says, handing her a handkerchief, “if you’d have stayed you’d be like the rest of them. That’s not a fate I’d wish on my worst enemy,” his eyes move to Jinx and his face softens. He scribbles something on a pad and hands the paper to her, “take this to Marcello’s shop. He’ll have supplies for you. I’ll get you refueled. Will your servant stay?”

“No, she’ll come with me,” Vi says, “she’s recovering.”

The man nods.

“I’ll see to it personally,” he says. Vi nods and moves towards the door. The man hesitates and then calls after her, “you’ve got a good heart, ma’m,” he says, “thanks to the Gods it still beats.”

Vi blinks away the sting in her eye and steers Jinx into town. The man calls ahead because when they get there a cart is waiting with boxes of food. It’s more food than Vi has seen in one place in a long time. It looks like their own personal market. It makes her think of the Kiramman pantry. But she shoves the memory away. She needs the tears but they have to be fake. Jinx picks up the handle of the cart as she pays for their supplies. They undercharge her criminally for them and wish her well. The boxes are loaded onto the ship and their gauges all read full before Vi finally can swallow the question back no longer.

“I’m sorry, can you tell me any rumors about Zaun?” She asks, “for my servant?”

The man’s face falls but he nods and pulls her to the side. Vi positions herself so she can keep an eye on Jinx, but she’s picking through the fruit.

“I’m sorry to be the bearer of such terrible news,” he says, “the last party said Zaun fell to it right after,” he twists his hands together, “the straight’s fallen. Bilgewater’s gone, Ixal will be next.”

Vi wants to demand answers but knows she can’t without compromising her cover. His voice turns urgent.

“I’d keep floating,” he says, “high as you can. They’re not in the sky yet. If you see them, turn everything off. They don’t want your stuff, they just want your mind.”

“We left before we could see them, do you know what they look like?”

“White and gold,” he says, “lock your servant up if you see them. They aren’t who they used to be.”

Vi thinks she might be sick.

“They belong to the Herald now.”

Those two sentences haunt her as she puts them back in the sky. Jinx is tearing into the flesh of some pulpy fruit. Seeds of another are collected in a little bowl. It’s a good thing she’s eating, but all Vi can do is twist the words in her head. They aren’t who they used to be, they belong to the Herald now. She pulls out one of the maps and lays it on the table. She takes one of the seeds out and puts them near the outpost they just re-supplied at. They’re moving away towards the sea. She picks up a pencil and circles the straight between Piltover, Zaun and Bilgewater. Her plan was for them to drift more, but now there’s places they cannot go. They’ll need to use more gas which means more resupplies. If this is spreading across the continents, then they need to start making their way somewhere else. It could buy them some time.

“Will this thing make it to Ionia?” She asks Jinx. The fruit has helped her perk up a bit. She glances around and shrugs, “best guess.”

“Probably,” Jinx says, “if the weather holds,” she leans forward over the map. A drop of juice lands on Piltover but Vi doesn’t even think to scold her. Piltover’s gone, “we might need to supply here.”

“He said that’s gone,” Vi says.

“So no guards.”

Vi smiles but she hopes they don’t have to resupply there.

She hopes the weather holds.

That night she dreams of Caitlyn again. She’s wide-eyed and terrified, yelling Vi’s name over and over. She hovers over her like she had for months before. Though this time Vi knows she’s there. Her fingers are painful on Vi’s wound as she shoves the lacy cravat against it to try and staunch the bleeding. All Vi can do is try to make eye contact as the world pulls away. Regret churns in her gut for how she shoved Caitlyn to the side to stagger after Jinx. How Caitlyn shouted at her not to but Vi pushed forward anyway. Jinx is the most important thing. She always has been. All Vi can do is hear Vander’s plea even as he roars and flings lava everywhere. She thought his first death was horrible but she’d give anything for him to be laying on the ground twisting with Shimmer. She left Powder then, she’s not making the same mistake.

She’d rather die.

She nearly does.

It’s worth it. But her under arm feels painfully cold with Caitlyn’s absence and her hands sting from pushing her away.

In the dream Caitlyn’s scream turns distorted. Her face freezes and cracks and turns white. White and gold, like he said. Behind her she sees a figure whose unnaturally long hand is buried in Caitlyn’s scalp. Her inky hair turns into a web of gold that makes Vi think of her stupid beret. The grip she has on Vi’s wound turns agonizing as her fingers push through Vi’s flesh. She opens her mouth to yell but only blood comes out as Caitlyn’s fingers part her flesh and bump against her spine. Caitlyn’s features are lost to the white that takes over her skin, but a tear still falls from where her eyes used to be and trails to join the blood Vi coughs onto her face. It all drips back onto Vi’s cheek as the white thing that was Caitlyn leans closer in a mockery of their first kiss.

Vi wakes with a yell.

She looks over but the bed is empty. The ship lurches horribly. One glance tells her they are caught in a storm. Vi scrambles to her feet and grabs the handholds in the wall. The ship is full of clever details like that. There’s another tilt and she holds on tighter, digging in her heel. The thick carpet in the hall strains and shifts before it gives way. Vi looks down to see glue on the edge. More glue is revealed as more of the carpet pulls back. Vi glares at the loss of her foothold and the cheapness of the job. She’s shocked it’s held up for months and infuriated it chose now to give up. The ship thankfully rocks back to center. Vi scrambles forward past the bunched carpet. She nearly falls on the most bunched part and yells in frustration, ripping it the rest of the way off and rolling it towards the other wall. If they need to run down the hallway she doesn’t want either of them wiping out on it.

“Fucking Pilties,” she mutters when she realizes there’s another carpet underneath.

She rips the top one off from the other side and shoves it into one of the other rooms. It’s minutes she wishes she didn’t have to waste but she knows it’s time well spent. She runs up to the wheelhouse to see Jinx gripping the steering wheel. Her face is serious and her fingers are dexterous. Vi realizes she’s taken them down and is finding a place for them to land. She opens her mouth to protest but Jinx shakes her head and flicks a few switches. The ship drops like an elevator. Gears and mechanism whir as they drop through the sky and then gently lower onto a wide stone balcony. They nestle close to the doors so if anything hits like lightening, it’ll hit the giant house first.

“Where are we?”

“Dunno,” Jinx says, “I hit the emergency landing and the ship went on autopilot horizontally. I was just controlling the vertical.”

“Weird,” Vi says, “you think anyone’s home?”

Jinx looks and shakes her head. For the first time Vi sees something like worry on her face. Immediately she puts her hand on her shoulder.

“You wanna be the lady this time in case we have to explain?”

Jinx shakes her head.

They change back into their disguises quickly, but no-one comes. Something feels wrong in a new way. Her fingers itch for her Gauntlets. But the pistol will have to suffice. Vi makes her way back to their room. Past the wheelhouse, back down the stupid hallway with it’s double carpet. She just hopes whoever’s lawn they’ve landed on doesn’t come before she gets the weapon. She keeps it hidden from Jinx but if push comes to shove, she’ll have to ask her to get it. But no-one comes as she gets to the steps leading down the hallway. She has to take them slower when her feet are in the stupid stockings but it’s better than running in the blocky shoes. That slowness means for the first time the second carpet registers.

For the second time the handholds are the only thing keeping her upright.

The keys are crossed and stamped at neat intervals along the dark blue fabric. Not the new ones with the Noxus gem, these are the old ones that were littered around the Kiramman house. As her eyes take them in, it feels like someone has put a key into her brain. She can feel every pin shifting into place. The lack of guards, the abundance of supplies, the pile of money. She looks down at the garments she’s wearing. The clothes fit her. Pistol forgotten, Vi races back along the route to the fancy bedroom. The one where all the lady’s stuff is. She’s been sewing her entire life. She turns one of the blouses inside out and sees the hastily shifted seam. Another coat has an extra button still tacked onto the corner. Dread pounds through Vi as throws the new clothing aside and flings back the cover of the bed.

She would know those sheets anywhere.

Her knees smack the ground as she stares at them. The thoughts of the family this ship was meant for vanish. Instead she sees Caitlyn signing documents while she’s unconscious in the background. She sees her pushing money into a box she knows Vi will find and handing Vi’s measurements to someone to get clothes that will fit. Three days. She had three days and she did all of this knowing Ambessa was coming for her. And what had VI done? Yelled at her. Even when Caitlyn told her Jinx surrendered, that she kept her safe. Even when she looked at her with that anguish on her face. None of it had registered. Caitlyn hadn’t just put Jinx in the bunker in her own house, she had cleared the way for them. She gave them everything they needed to get away. Vi lurches to her feet again and runs to the other wardrobe. The clothes in there are cut slimmer. There’s a brush and hair ties. For a moment Vi feels hope but then she sees how short the pants are. How they are faintly patterned.

Caitlyn never planned on coming with them.

The realization crashes into Vi as the fabric falls from her hands. Caitlyn set this up, she put her own sheets on the bed and arranged for all of this so Vi and Jinx could get away. Caitlyn who threw away all of her plans for the slim chance Vi could get more time with her father. Who put Vi in her bed, the only place Vi can remember feeling truly safe. She did all of that and Vi yelled at her. Vi left her. She wanted Vi to leave her. Vi feels an itch in her mind. Caitlyn wanted her gone, but that makes no sense. The battle was weeks out. Vi could have been healed and ready to fight in that time. Vi would have fought, especially with Jinx in the bunker. But even if she hadn’t been, Vi would have fought. It was what she did best. There has to be a reason for this. Something she’s missing. There wouldn’t just be nothing. She grabs the small pull on the first drawer of the nightstand and starts to look for a note.

She doesn’t find one.

She finds so much though. Papers with her and Jinx’s pictures but different names. There’s a case with orange tinted glasses that will hide Jinx’s eyes. A box full of thick cotton wraps for her hands. Her red jacket is in one of the closets. She finds her old necklace nestled among a truly nauseating amount of sapphires and diamonds. She finds her old Enforcer badge, back in it’s case. But nothing with Caitlyn’s handwriting. Nothing that tells her why she did this. She scrubs her face and thumbs through the books again to see if something’s hidden there. Nothing. There’s nothing. The only scrap of Caitlyn’s handwriting are the forged signatures on the documents and that’s not what she wants. That’s not Caitlyn. That’s Caitlyn pretending to be her.

“Vi?” Jinx’s voice is tentative at the door.

“Did she say anything to you?” Vi asks and the desperation in her voice makes both of them jump. Jinx shifts back and looks heartbreakingly like Powder for a moment, “sorry,” Vi says quickly, “when I was out did she say anything to you?”

“Who?” Jinx asks quietly.

Anger floods through Vi at the question before she remembers Jinx has no way of knowing what she knows. She doesn’t know Caitlyn did all of this for them. It takes everything to pull back on the rush of anger and look at her sister.

“Caitlyn,” she says, “did Caitlyn say anything?”

“No she just talked to you,” Jinx says, “until the bunker.” Vi’s heart jumps, “she brought me food. She said there wouldn’t be a trial,” Jinx continues, “when you came and you looked so happy, I didn’t want you to watch me be executed. Even though I deserve it. I knew it’d hurt you and I didn’t want to hurt you anymore.”

The air goes out of Vi’s lungs.

“You knew it’d hurt me?” Vi asks weakly.

“You hate seeing people hurt,” Jinx says, coming closer.

The words hang between them as the horrible truth settles into Vi’s marrow. Caitlyn protected her. Even if the battle meant they would both die, Caitlyn made sure Vi wouldn’t watch people die. She made sure Vi wouldn’t suffer. Even after the things Vi yelled at her. A low sound pulls from her chest at the realization. Any doubt Vi had that the Caitlyn she fell for was in there somewhere vanishes. It’s too smart a trap. Not the brutal ones Caitlyn laid in their search for Jinx. This is a clever one. Unbearably clever. And Vi fell for it. It should feel like a snare but as she looks at the trap, even she cannot find any cruelty in it. It should feel like a snare but instead it feels like an embrace. Like Caitlyn pressing her tears into her neck on the bridge. Like the way her arms wound around her when their lips finally met. She had begged her not to change. She felt betrayed when she did. Now she sees there’s a part of Caitlyn that didn’t. But she was too blind to see it. Caitlyn was there and she just left.

“Where are we?” Vi demands.

“Huh?”

“Where are we?” She hurries up to the wheelhouse, “how close are we to Piltover?” Her mind shifts. Caitlyn’s brilliant, of course that guy was wrong. She’s found a way to survive, “we have to get there.”

“Vi we can’t,” Jinx says.

“We have to!” Vi argues, “Caitlyn’s there—she’s probably in the Bunker waiting for us,” she tries to think. The ship was well stocked, the bunker must be too, “they’re probably running low on supplies so we gotta hurry—“

“Vi!” Jinx finally says her name in a way that registers. She looks at the anguish on her face and forces herself to stop for a moment. Even though everything in her screams to start running through the storm, “she’s not.”

“Jinx—“ Vi shakes her head, “I know I’m asking a lot but this is an emergency. She’s waiting, we can get her and figure this all out. I made her think I didn’t care, I gotta fix that—“

“No, Vi,” Jinx makes a miserable sound, “she talked to me in the bunker. She said she was exhausted and tired of hating me,” she chews her lip, “she said she hated herself.”

“What did you say?” Vi questions.

“I told her I didn’t know her mom was up there,” she says.

“What else?”

Jinx shakes her head.

“She left right after.”

Vi looks back at the map and forces her anger down. It’s not just at Jinx, it’s at herself. She yelled at Caitlyn and Jinx told her that her mother’s death was little more than an afterthought. Caitlyn hated herself. Vi abandoned her to a woman she betrayed. A monster she betrayed. She hadn’t truly been loyal, if she had she would have done things differently. All those months and how Caitlyn must have felt make her head spin. All of that she weathered alone. Vi had made a few attempts to get in contact but they were all quickly rebuffed. She thought it was because of how much she fucked up, but the world has shifted. Was Caitlyn protecting her even then? She misses the chair and sits down hard on the floor. Jinx comes over and sits in front of her. There’s life in her eyes, but it feels like it’s coming out of Vi.

“We’ll go as soon as the weather clears,” Jinx says.

Vi nods but her gaze keeps dragging towards the stone columns.

And the crossed keys stamped into them.

She waits for Jinx to fall asleep before she slips away. She’s been doing it for years. Slipping out of bed without waking her. She knows enough after months of flying this thing to program the autopilot on a delay. She does everything she can think of to slow Jinx down and she leaves a note. She promises she’ll be back as soon as she can, but if something happens Jinx needs to go. Needs to live for as long as she can. Live for all of them. She says she’s proud of her and would do it all a thousand times over to call her sister. She signs it ‘Always’. Then she gathers what she needs, puts on her red jacket and slips out of the ship.

She makes it to Piltover a few hours later.

The storm has shifted into just a downpour, no wind. Vi wishes there was as she looks at the bridge. This one is narrower. It’s a private bridge, one people aren’t allowed on unless you’re a founding family. The double keys were a dead give away. The ship going to that house makes a lot more sense now that she knows it’s a Kiramman ship. Of course it went to a Kiramman house. Now she’s on a Kiramman road. She waivers as she looks at the bridge. The autopilot is set for day. Jinx is still asleep probably. She could turn back. She should turn back. The chances of Caitlyn being alive are so impossibly slim. She and Jinx could have months more floating in the sky. This plague could stop. She could go off with the new life that’s been given to her so selflessly.

But Caitlyn will be here.

Her parents will be here.

Vander and Benzo and Mylo and Claggor—

And Caitlyn.

Vi steps onto the bridge.

The rain obscures her vision enough that it’s a surprise when she realizes there’s something ahead. She’s never seen the things before. Only heard the whispered rumors of how you can’t let them touch you. Maybe the rain is giving her some cover because this one hasn’t moved. It stands perfectly still. It’s faceless and white, etched through with gold. All she can think of is how the elongated, elegant limbs remind her of Viktor. She steps forward and the doll shifts just slightly. Just enough for Vi to know she’s been made. The option of going back closes behind her. She waits for the feeling of horror, but all she feels is relief. Peace settles over her as she looks at the face. You’re not supposed to try and guess who they were. But if she’s going to die, she figures why not? There’s a lot of gold on this one, it’s actually more gold than white. Including a dip where a lip should be.

“Vi,” the robotic says her name but it speaks with Viktor’s voice. Another pin slides into place, “this is a surprise.”

“Is it?” She asks.

“No, this is inevitable” the doll says, “but I thought it would be a few months before we met again. Where is your sister?”

“Long gone,” she says, “months, right?” The doll inclines its head, “so what does it matter?”

“You still sacrifice yourself so easily.”

“Yeah, but that’s not why I’m here,” she says.

The doll moves and it’s suddenly in front of her. It’s fucking fast. Her dream echoes back to her of the hand pushing through her body. There’s nothing to stop this doll from doing the same. It doesn’t though. It tilts its head considering her.

“Emotion clouds us,” Viktor says, “humanity’s greatest flaw,” his voice shifts and a female one Vi has heard a few times joins it, “she was so relieved you didn’t see.”

Vi’s hand grabs the first piece of metal she can. The thing reverses the grip, knocks her hands aside and picks her up by the jacket.

“How confident are you?” Vi challenges. The doll shifts it’s head, “you said you corrected emotions. But Caitlyn thought of me—“ she’s thinking on her feet, “take me to her and find out.”

“An interesting hypothesis,” the doll says, drawing her closer.

“You’re the scientist,” Vi says.

The doll considers her for a moment more and then she’s flying through the air. It’s hard to even get a breath in, let alone get her bearings. The doll takes her through the deserted city, past groups of the same dolls. Vi forces herself not to look at how fucking small some of them are. Kids. He did this to kids. He’ll do it to every kid in the world. The dolls occasionally glance over. Vi wonders if it’s Viktor looking or if some part of them remains who they were. The doll shoots across the Bridge of Progress and skids to a stop so she’s facing Zaun. The hand behind her neck tightens as the doll goes silent. Like someone has flicked a switch and turned it off. Something like hope churns in Vi’s gut. Maybe Viktor will be here to witness this experiment. Doubt flicks in the back of her mind but Vi shoves it away. Caitlyn did all of this for her. She’s not listening to any doubts. There’s a glow behind her and the doll rotates her so she watches Viktor descend. Any hope vanishes at the sight of him. He’s more machine than man, no sign of the person Vi thought would save her dad. When he floats over to her, there’s no heat on him.

“We have evolved past feelings,” he intones and the sound comes from him and the doll, “but sometimes we are drawn to the familiar. A weakness eased by time,” he says, “as are all things.”

“Where is she?” Vi questions, straining to hear any sound of Caitlyn.

“As I said, the familiar draws us. Even past feelings,” the doll turns her and deposits her on the ground.

Right by the pillar that was the memorial to her fucking parents.

You aren’t supposed to let them touch you. Now Vi sees why. That hand on the back of her neck has been in her head. She’s going to die right where her mom died. Funny because she always thought she’d die at home. But the bridge is as good as anywhere if she’s going to fucking die. Vi straightens her jacket and looks at Viktor, but his head is turned. The claw on his back tightens into a point and a flash of light emits, illuminating the dolls they zipped past. They stand on the bridge and VI can pick out the bronze on them. They’re much less gold than the doll that carried her here. Some of them are splattered with red. It takes a moment for her to realize these were all Enforcers. Or dressed like them anyway. Her stomach tightens as she sees one has his hand across his stomach, like he could be holding a shield. She forces herself not to think about whether or not that’s Loris. It probably is. They are all standing at the ready facing a doll whose back is towards them. Like it’s stopping the Enforcers from coming any closer.

Like it’s protecting her.

She can’t breathe as the truth hits her. Even before it registers this doll is taller than most. It rotates and Vi is gutted at the smoothness of it’s features. She thinks for a moment maybe she was wrong. But her eyes pick out the bulkiness of the doll’s right shoulder where Caitlyn always wore the most armor. Worse is the red on the hollow of her throat. It mirrors the red at the back of her neck. Caitlyn wasn’t just dying, Caitlyn was drowning in her own blood. And all she felt was relief Vi wasn’t there to see it. The doll behind her steps back and Vi realizes she’s about to watch Viktor speak through Caitlyn.

“Hang on don’t you want this to be authentic?” She says. Viktor looks at her, “see what she does without you.”

“We are one,” Viktor says.

“You sound pretty solo to me,” Vi challenges. Viktor’s head cocks to the side and Caitlyn follows, “let her do whatever you’re doing.”

“It won’t work,” Viktor replies.

“So what’s the harm?” Vi asks, “you said it yourself, the world has months. When are you going to get the chance to do this again?” Her heart thuds when Viktor doesn’t just shoot the idea down, “She did all of this for me,” she says, “how many times are you going to find an emotion like that?”

Viktor gives something that might be a shrug and settles himself against the side of the bridge. He looks almost relaxed. Only the fact that he can fly tells Vi pushing him off the bridge won’t fix this. She turns back to the Caitlyn doll. It’s still and frozen, head still cocked to the side. Like an off switch has been flicked. She looks at Viktor who regards her.

“Perhaps you were wrong,” he says.

“No I just need to get closer,” Vi retorts.

The doll helps her out with that.

It’s so much worse up close. How the fuck is this thing Caitlyn. But it is. Vi knows it is. She tilts her head to try and mimic how the doll is standing. She tries to think about the Caitlyn who lingers in the back of her head. The one who looked at her softly and didn’t bother to tell Vi she was an actual princess until there was no other choice. Who pleaded for her to stay and forgave Vi for leaving the first time. She clings to that image as she looks at the doll’s smooth face.

“Hey, Cupcake,” she says, “thanks for lending me your ship. Took me months to figure it out but you know,” she taps her head, “Loris said the doc’s told you I had a thick skull. Probably wouldn’t have figured it out for a few more months if it hadn’t happened.”

The twitch is so faint Vi thinks she might have imagined it.

“But once it did I figured it out,” she says, “the note was really sweet.”

Another twitch, this one unmistakable even before the doll’s head rotates forward and then up.

“Not me,” the doll wheezes.

Vi’s eyes flood with tears. Caitlyn can hide her feelings better than anyone she knows. She plays things close to the chest until she can’t anymore. Until they bubble over. In a kinder world, it would be love or something that made her do it. But it’s not. Anger gets her there. Anger makes Caitlyn speak even though some part of her thinks she’s still got destroyed vocal cords. But she speaks because Vi’s managed to annoy her. To put a dent in her brilliant but stupid plan. Vi tries to blink the tears away but a few break free. Caitlyn is closer, peering at her with those missing features.

“There was no note,” Caitlyn clarifies and her voice comes out stronger.

“So how’d I know it was you then?” Vi challenges, “or are you going to pretend it wasn’t?”

Caitlyn considers her quietly.

“How?”

“Come on Cupcake, take a guess.”

Caitlyn twitches.

“It doesn’t matter,” she says, “it’s too late.”

“Nah it’s never too late,” Vi says, “come on, you know you want to know.”

Dread creeps though her as Caitlyn twitches again. Vi wants to see her face but there’s nothing there. She’s so used to seeing the way Caitlyn’s face shifts to let her know if something is getting through or not. Does Caitlyn even know she’s a doll? That Vi can’t see.

“Okay fine it was the carpets,” she says.

“I was thinking!” Caitlyn argues and then stops, “what?”

“They used the wrong glue in the hallway,” she says, “I found your Kiramman ones underneath.”

Caitlyn goes still. Panic hits Vi like a ton of bricks. Not seeing her expression is hard. She sees one of the other dolls twitch and moves before she can think. She grabs Caitlyn’s hand and touches it to her side. The doll jerks back.

“You shouldn’t have come,” Caitlyn says, “I didn’t want you here.”

“You got what you wanted,” Vi says, “now it’s my turn. Or is this just about you?” The doll is quiet, “come on Cupcake did you think about me at all?”

“Y-Y—“ the doll stutters and goes quiet. Then straightens and says in that overlapping voice, “Yes but it doesn’t matter."

Vi grabs the hand again and flattens Caitlyn’s palm over her side. The doll jerks like it’s fighting something. Vi puts her other hand there, holding it against her skin. The place where Caitlyn saved her. Features or not, she knows that means something. Viktor moves out of the corner of her eye and she feels the dolls fingers meld together. They flatten into something pointed and the path forward becomes horribly clear. The Caitlyn doll twitches, goes still and straightens, pulling it’s hand back.

“Your hypothesis was not proven,” Viktor and Caitlyn’s voices overlap, “we have evolved—“

The metal goes through her flesh as easily as it did in her dream.

It hurts way worse.

Vi sucks in a breath and looks down at the metal embedded in her gut. Her blood drips down the white cone as it goes deeper. Towards her heart. The cone twitches and shifts back into a hand. It wrestles a noise from her lips as her mouth fills with blood. Unlike her dream she spits it to the side this time. She’s not getting out of this. The doll looks down at her wound and curves it’s hand inside her body. Vi feels it in her ribs as it pulls her closer.

“You would strain the system,” Viktor says.

“I never wanted to be one of your stupid dolls,” Vi says. Fingers twitch again, “I just wanted to die at home,” she says, putting her hands on Caitlyn’s shoulders, “with someone who loves me.”

Viktor screams and Caitlyn’s voice takes over.

Vi watches Viktor stagger back, clutching at his head. All of the dolls collapse but Caitlyn cradles her so tightly Vi barely feels it. Or maybe that’s just the blood loss. Either way it barely seems to matter as she looks up. Caitlyn is gasping loudly, looking around like she isn’t certain where she is. Vi grips her arm and her head turns frantically towards her. A horrified sound escapes her lips. Vi smiles and tries not to think of how bloody her lips must be.

“Oh God, Vi,” she chokes out her name.

“S’okay,” Vi breathes, “I meant it,” she says, “I wanted to see you.”

“No, no—“ Caitlyn turns her head frantically.

“He said you went somewhere familiar,” Vi gasps, “I’d come here too. Where I came back,” she looks at Caitlyn, “I shouldn’t have left you.”

“Vi, no, Jinx needs you,” Caitlyn pleads, her thumb stroking her cheek, “you could have months.”

“No,” Vi says as their airship appears. Dozens of blue stones clustered on it. Gods she hopes this works. Viktor is still clutching at his head, “just want you.”

“Why?!” Caitlyn cries and Vi smiles as the world takes on a fuzzy edge. She brushes her thumb across where Caitlyn’s lips should be. The doll can’t make tears but Caitlyn sobs all the same, “I thought I was protecting you.”

“You did,” Vi says, “but I want to be with you more.”

The flash is blinding but all Vi can see is the doll’s face. It doesn’t have lips but she pulls it closer as Caitlyn leans down. Deep in her chest Vi feels Caitlyn’s fingers find her heart. All Vi can think is they’re the lucky ones. Caitlyn's fingers close over her heart and Vi pulls her closer as the heat and light hit them both and take them.

****

Ekko waits hours before emerging after the blast.

He’s lived his life in four second increments for months. Lifetimes, if he’s being honest. With all the times he’s had to jerk back time. All the near misses, the almost deaths. The actual deaths. But he’s kept his people alive. That’s the only thing that fucking matters. It’s weird to even feel the breeze as he walks to the bridge. All of the dolls lay dead. Their strings cut. It’s hard to wrap his head around when he looks at them. They were people once. When he shifts one, nothing happens. They really are gone.

He makes his way towards the Bridge, where he thinks the blast may have come from. It’s confirmed when he looks at the gaping hole ripped through it. The blast is devastating and right though the center of the bridge. The Herald is nowhere to be seen, but Ekko thinks he might be at the bottom of the water. Or maybe he doesn’t exist anymore. They’ll have to figure that out. The dolls would come for him if he was still there. Ekko looks around for some kind of confirmation, but he doesn’t have to look long.

One of the dolls is cradling a person.

They’re well preserved considering the magnitude of the blast, thanks only to the doll that cradles them. The doll is collapsed over them, hiding their face. Ekko can see the doll’s hand buried in their side. Either they wanted to cause pain or to prevent it. But the way they are cradling the person makes him think it was the latter. He’s never seen a doll express anything like kindness, no matter who they used to be. It would be strange anywhere but he can’t help the feeling that it has something to do with the explosion.

“Is it over?” Scar asks him quietly.

“Yeah,” Ekko says, “I think we’re safe."

#caitvi #piltover's finest #caitlyn kiramman #vi #arcane #this one is v sad but was a fun challenge to figure out while also being very sad

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the-conversation-pod · 15 hours ago

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Year in Review 2024

AND WE'RE BACK!

Come join Ben, NiNi, and Shan as we talk about the trends we noticed, air some grievances, hand out some of our favorite fan awards, and make some new resolutions!

Timestamps

The timestamps will now correspond with chapters on Spotify for easier navigation.

00:00:00 - Welcome 00:00:55 - 2024 Headlines: Industry Consolidation 00:06:49 - 2024 Headline: Self-Censorship 00:13:52 - 2024 Headlines: Vertical Format Micro-BLs and Other Shit We're Anti 00:20:14 - Festivus Airing Of The Grievances 00:36:51 - 2024 Fan Awards 00:55:49 - QL Resolutions 01:04:45 - Affirmations and Hopes for the Future

The Conversation Transcripts!

Thanks to the continued efforts of @lurkingshan as an editor and proofreader, we are able to bring you transcripts of the episodes.

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00:00 - Welcome

NiNi

Welcome to The Conversation, the Queer Media And Brown Liquor Podcast.

Ben

I'm Ben, the media critic

NiNi

I’m NiNi, the vibes queen

Ben

And we are your drunk Caribbean uncle and auntie who are sitting on the porch in the rocking chairs

NiNi

We’re here to talk queer film and dramas, with a special focus on Asian QL

Ben

So if you like to dive deep into queer stories…

NiNi

If you like cracked out takes on art and commerce in queer media…

Ben

If you just enjoy simping for attractive people…

NiNi

We believe in simping!

Ben

Tune in!

00:00:55 - 2024 Headlines: Industry Consolidation

Ben

And we're back. Oh my God, it's time to review 2024 before we get to the VIIB Awards, where it's just nonstop us talking about our faves. Once again, we have brought Shan into the booth because we have too much to discuss. Shan, say hello.

Shan

Hello!

Ben

First, it's time for us to talk about the big ideas of the year. NiNi, as the person who loves Thai BL the most on The Conversation, let's talk about how clearly the money is drying up and everybody is having to shuffle to whoever's got something to offer them.

NiNi

Is the money drying up or is it just being funneled all to the same place? Because it feels like more money is getting spent on fewer things. I don't think that's necessarily a good thing, but I'm not sure that I can put my finger up and say that's a bad thing, either. We have seen some definite dips in quality. We don't have as many faves this year as we did last year, or even the year before. But what we did love, we loved-loved.

So it's a complicated picture, I guess, but definitely there's been a consolidation and we wanted to talk about it a little bit because we predicted this in our very first set of episodes, all those many, many, many moons ago. We predicted that there was a consolidation coming in Thai BL because everything just got so big, so fast, and that usually precedes everything's starting to shrink back down a little bit.

Ben

Big things we noted this year was GMMTV absorbing a bunch of free agents and, in one case, basically the entire staff of a whole studio that they now hire to do production work for them.

Shan

Mmhmm. It's been wild. Like every week, I feel like we've been seeing announcements of new talent acquired by GMMTV.

Ben

Barcode is now at GMMTV.

NiNi

That was a big get.

Shan

All the Wabi Sabi boys this year, too.

NiNi

Yeah, those were the two big headlines, Wabi Sabi getting folded into GMMTV was one and definitely Barcode coming right at the end of the year. That was a big one.

Shan

They also got Dimple Fluke.

NiNi

I mean, we love Dimple Fluke, but I don't know how big Dimple Fluke is in the general fandom—

Shan

—He's big in my heart, NiNi, big in my heart.

Ben

[laughs] We thought this was coming when they got Singto to come back. Clearly trying to do it on his own didn't work and they were able to get him back in their house. I don't know how I feel about it. Wabi Sabi is no longer doing talent management. BOC seems to be shrinking

NiNi

BOC (Be On Cloud) has said that they're backing off of talent management, as well. They dropped most of their roster. I think they only represent Mile, Appo, and Bible now.

Ben

Wow.

Shan

GMMTV is the big studio that seems to want to be in the idol management game. And so that's where a lot of the talent is going. What feels concerning about it to me—we've talked quite a lot on this podcast about the increase in output, but not a commensurate increase in quality from GMMTV.

Out of all of the BLs that they're putting out annually, which is around eight to 10, there may be only a couple that actually have really good scripts behind them. So they're acquiring all this talent, but we know they don't have enough good writing to support shows to support this much talent. They put out, this year, a script writing contest to the plebes to say, “Help us, we need help writing shows.”

NiNi

I was just gonna bring that up.

Ben

With hostile as fuck language, by the way.

Shan

They literally went to the fans and said, “Can you write us some shows? Because we got nothing and we're acquiring all this talent.” That's just on the BL side. They've got this whole side of the house of these great, talented actresses and very few projects to cast them in. So it's concerning to me to see all the talent going to this one place that clearly cannot handle everybody that they're taking on.

Ben

It worries me too, because we've noticed a lot less sponsorship deals in most of their shows. One or two shows per year will get the usual eight- to 10-plus sponsor cards at the beginning, but that number has dropped off overall. It's very clear that there's maybe not as much ad money helping fund the production in the first place.

NiNi

Bestie, I haven't seen an Oishii ad in quite some time.

Shan

Right, where did Oishii go?

Ben

If the juice makers have given up, it's over.

NiNi

It is concerning to see this consolidation happening. There's a few people who are out on their own, who I think might be able to survive on their own. Like Jeff is out on his own, Billkin and PP are out on their own, and they're probably the ones who can sustain. Everybody else is either going to GMMTV or they're getting into the other side of GMM Grammy, like the One31 kind of lakorn side. But even that is shrinking, we're given to understand, people are moving into BL because that's the growing side of the market.

Actors are moving into BL who might not have done BL before. Big names got into BL this year, like Jes Jespipat did 4 Minutes with Bible, a Be On Cloud production. He's a big lakorn actor. And then JJ and Tor did Spare Me Your Mercy at the end of the year. The headline on that really is like these big lakorn actors who nobody would have ever expected to do gay shit are doing the—well, in the case of Spare Me Your Mercy, semi gay shit. But Jes did gay gay shit in 4 Minutes, you know what I mean? So that's one of the big, I think, headlines that we need to be looking at looking at Thai BL in particular going forward.

00:06:49 - 2024 Headlines: Self-Censorship

Ben

We need to talk about Thai BL starting to self-censor, likely to reach specific markets.

Shan

Yeah, it's concerning. I wouldn't call it a trend yet, but we've seen a few examples of it in the last few months and it's making me nervous. What I'm talking about is, productions that are publicly saying, admitting that they are censoring some of the more explicit romantic or sexual content from their BL shows so that they can focus on reaching a wider audience with their message. We've seen statements like that from the Addicted Heroin creator. We've seen recently the screenwriter of Spare Me Your Mercy talk about the decision to remove explicit sexual content from the show for the same reason. We saw some of this related to Love Sick as well. If you're gonna do a Love Sick remake in 2024, the one thing you would expect them to improve on is not having censored kisses, but nope, they didn't do that.

So there's this drive and this stated intention by some of the creators behind these shows to create BL dramas that minimize the actual BL as much as possible. They want to take advantage of the market for BL. They want to take advantage of the fan interest and the fan engagement for BL while also getting away with keeping the actual queer romance in these stories as minimal as possible. That is pretty shitty. They're coming out and they're saying this openly, this is not us just guessing.

NiNi

Just saying that taking the romance out is why I left a lot of Western media. I'm so tired of seeing people say things like, “Well this doesn't have any plot.” The romance is the plot, the relationship is the plot and not recognizing that in a genre that is about romance is the part that kind of makes me go like mmm, okay, like yes—

Ben

The genre is literally called Boy Love. (all) Where is the love?

How old is that song? Hold on, let me Google that real quick.

Shan

Don't look it up. But this is what I mean. Like, NiNi and I are refugees from Western romance. We came over to Asia for kdrama, because we wanted to see a genre of television that respected romance, that took it seriously as its own storytelling, that actually respected romance fans and people who like love stories. That is one of the best and most consistent features of Asian drama. And so to have now this subset of Asian drama creators who are specifically working in a queer love space that is even more hard for people to find, even less accepted by the mainstream, to have them intentionally self-censoring because they are trying to prove some kind of weird point. It just completely misses the point for me of why people are here engaging with these dramas. Certainly it doesn't seem to be helping in terms of pushing forward the social agenda in these countries where they're making these shows.

Ben

This is the part that always stresses me out when we're trying to measure how gay can it be and still get funded because this happens to us repeatedly in queer viewer space. Netflix pulled this shit on us where, when they first wanted to go to digital streaming, they set up deals with all of the gay distribution houses. And we got to watch all of these movies that we had never had access to before. And it was great. And we all were like, hell yeah, I'm going to go on Netflix so can watch my little gay shows.

As soon as they get tastemakers—read: queer and brown people—to pimp their shit, they try and immediately convert and get a bunch of normies in there.

NiNi

Yep, that's basically what happens.

Ben

This, again, this is not shit I'm making up! This is what really happened.

Shan

These are the patterns and we've seen them play out so many times in so many places and it's the pattern we're starting to see play out in BL and it's alarming.

NiNi

I mean! It played out on Tumblr. The platform that we spend so much of our time on, this is exactly what happened. The people who built the ship got kicked out of the ship.

Ben

It's been an actually horrible year on Tumblr for queer people, especially trans people. It's a bad look that the gays who make the shit who seem like they're in an accepted enough space are either choosing to or being pressured to straighten up their act so that they can continue to get fed and make stuff. That doesn't feel great. It feels really worrisome as a sign about what may or may not be going on. Like it's only a few things right now, but we're seeing this everywhere else.

NiNi

What we're basically saying is support GagaOOLala

Shan

Please! If you're gonna spend money on any of these platforms, spend your money on the queer platform hosted in Taiwan that actually cares about queer people.

Ben

If you have spent significant sums of money on iQIYI in the last year for two shows and you haven't spent money on Gaga, reflect and then message us. [all laugh]

NiNi

And I mean if you need yet another reason to subscribe to Gaga, their social media manager is like the greatest person in the world.

Ben

They're my favorite person. They made fun of Kidnap. They were like, Kidnap, the show that's probably poorly named, is back on this week.

Shan

Let's just get on our soapbox about Gaga for a minute, okay? They are the only platform that streams the vast majority of Japanese QL, period. They bring us Taiwanese BL. They bring us Thai BL in increasing volume.

Ben

The WeTV shows have been consistently airing on Gaga lately. GMMTV is also clearly trying to consolidate and are starting to put their shows behind the Gaga and iQIYI paywall.

Shan

It's a good platform that is worth supporting and it's far cheaper than any other streaming you're paying for. You should have it. You should subscribe.

NiNi

This is not an ad.

Ben

They do. We are not being paid. But if you guys want to hang out—I'm just kidding. Don't put that in there, NiNi. [laughs]

NiNi

Yeah, but yeah, support Gaga. That's the only platform that when Park Seo Ham came out of the military, sent out a tweet saying, “Tell the world the bitch is back.”

Ben

I love her!

Shan

They deserve it.

NiNi

She is us, we are her, and this is a non-binary she. We don't know the gender of the GagaOOLala social media manager, but she's one of the girls.

Ben

I'm using ‘she’ in a gay way. It's very affectionate.

NiNi

She, non-gender specific.

00:13:52 - 2024 Headlines: Vertical Format Micro-BLs and Other Shit We're Anti

Ben

While we're bitching about things, let's talk about all these stupid vertical TV shows that keep coming out and how we must continue to refuse to watch them. We have already seen one of the shows that [Iijima] was in is going to apparently be put on TV properly.

Good job, everybody, in not watching that. [NiNi and Shan laugh]

Do not let this become a thing. We cannot tell them that we are willing to watch shows two minutes at a time on our phones only. Unacceptable.

Shan

Not only two minutes at a time on our phones only, but only after burning through a huge number of ads. That's how you get to the shows.

Ben

Gross.

NiNi

This is like Ben's whole conversation in one of our more recent episodes about the BL TikTok filter. They're trying to get you used to the BL TikTok filter in like a million ways.

Ben

I won't. I will NOT accept this!

Shan

Because the aim of this is to stop making actual dramas and just get us to watch a version of TikTok on our phones and call that BL. That's the end game here, guys. Don't fall for it.

NiNi

Do not fall for it.

Ben

We are here to support storytellers only. We are not here to make ad guys happy.

NiNi

I think that's a good segue.

Ben

Speaking of ad guys who clearly don't like us, Korea is not interested in BL right now. [laughs]

NiNi

Oh my God.

Ben

We got three good Korean BLs this year.

Shan

At least they were all excellent. I know we talked about it on our recent Hallyu episode but now that the year is complete and the data has been crunched, I just want to underline this. We got, not necessarily fewer shows total from Korea, but we got fewer shows of a decent length. We got fewer shows of quality. A lot of what Korea put out this year was junk, frankly. These little vertical series, these small little web series that are really short episodes and very lacking in narrative. And then they also put out three of the very best things of the year.

So it was a real dichotomy. In years previous Korea was putting out a more steady run of quality shows. We saw a real drop off of that this year.

Ben

Oh shit, did Strongberry even make anything this year?

NiNi

I was just about to say this is the year that Strongberry pissed me off because they made that Happy Ending thing that was neither happy nor an ending.

Shan

And they made Blossom Campus, which was terrible.

Ben

Ew…

Shan

Strongberry let us down this year for the first time ever.

NiNi

I kind of feel it for them because the CEO of Strongberry has spent so much time telling us how hard it is to get shit made and to get money to get shit made. So I was just like, ooh, things must be getting, like, real rough if they couldn't put out anything good.

Shan

Can we though just take a moment to shout out the CEO of Strongberry for putting out his own little story about what happened with that show and basically being like, I told the writer not to fucking do that and he didn't listen to me.

Ben

I did love that. I love that he just said, I told her she ain't let one listen.

Shan

He was like, this is not on me. Do not associate this with me. You love Strongberry. You will continue to love Strongberry. [NiNi laughs]

Ben

He basically did say it like that. We were like, all right, girl. [laughs]

Shan

We'll let you have this one.

NiNi

Yeah, but I mean it's a year in which we had nothing good from Strongberry, and that to me is like, wow. We got other really good stuff, some of it came out of absolutely nowhere. And I think that it had to come out of absolutely nowhere to get aired, because, as we saw when things are in the pipeline and they know about it, they're going to try to kill it.

Ben

Our last big highlight of the year we want to point out is that there was a Japanese BL airing almost every week this year. That is unprecedented. Usually, even if stuff gets made, we barely know about it, it gets no distribution, and the fansubbers are having people show up at their houses over. [NiNi laughs]

So we almost never get a lot of the Japanese BL, but there was a significant amount that was just handed to us on legal platforms for us to support, most notably GagaOOLala.

Shan

GagaOOLala! I started Japanese QL Corner in January of 2024 on Tumblr. It's just a weekly post that I do that tracks the Japanese QL that's out. And I had things to write about every single week for the entire year. And we weren't always having to chase things down in the dark corners of the internet. We had things that we could watch on a regular streaming platform every week from Japan, And there were weeks when I was writing about six or seven shows at a time. That's how much was airing.

NiNi

Now were those six or seven shows great?

Ben

Not always.

NiNi

I would say no, not always, but in terms of batting average, I think Japan did pretty well this year.

Shan

I'd say still about half of the shows that aired from Japan this year were good to fantastic. And the other half were problematic here and there. There were only a handful that I thought were, like, bad bad.

Ben

My favorite thing about watching Japanese BL is that I am never mid about it. I either really liked it or I was like, who is this for? [Shan and NiNi laugh]

I love that there's not all this wishy washy shit about like, oh, maybe it's kind of okay if I squint this direction. I'd be like, no, fuck that show. A 4 for you, a 3 for you, a 4 for you. Stay away from the shows I love. All of you over here, my 9s and 10s. Don't look at them. They're not worth it. Averages are not the most useful metric but I really like that when I'm recommending or not recommending Japanese BL, I feel very firm about how I feel about these shows.

Shan

I do think that there has been a lot more variation in quality with the high uptick in volume of shows. But the batting average is still pretty damn high.

We've got two new Japanese QL productions starting this week. So I'm excited that it's gonna keep going.

Ben

That's it for the big highlights.

00:20:14 - Festivus Airing Of The Grievances

Ben

Before we close out this year, we need to vent a little bit of grief. We need to talk about the things that we were super hype about that made us look like clowns. We're gonna start with our biggest disappointments in no particular order. Starting with the worst.

NiNi, Wandee Gooday!

NiNi

[laughs] The absolute worst. I am so pissed off at this show. I talked a little bit about how pissed off I was with this show in our mailbag episode, but friends, I still have more ire in me about the show. I was so stoked, and the show dragged me along for a solid five to six episodes and then literally dropped me on my face. And that's something that I do not forgive in any way. I will remain pissed off forever.

This is not The Shipper level, but damn close and I can't do it.

Ben

If you want to feel a little solidarity, David was actually bitching about this at brunch earlier this weekend. He said, I can't believe I wrote a whole post for the first time on Tumblr about this show only to be made to look like a clown like this. He said he's never writing anything ever again.

NiNi

[laughs] David's like, how dare you embarrass me?

Shan

How dare you? It sucked, man. It was a huge letdown.

NiNi

And the thing is that it could have been so good.

Shan

Could’ve had it all.

NiNi

I'm convinced that the first half and the second half were written by two different people. That's the only thing that makes any sense to me.

Ben

Yes, let's start talking about BL like Star Wars fans. STAR WARS COULD BE SO GOOD IF IT WAS GOOD. Before you bitches come after me, my very first email address I made is a Star Wars email. Don't come for me.

NiNi

Don't come for him, period. Okay?

Shan

Leave us alone, it's been a long year.

Ben

Speaking of a long year of disappointments, Shan, I'm letting you have the entire disappointment that was all of Sammon’s collected works this year.

NiNi

Oh God, here we go.

Shan

We're calling this the Sammon Omnibus entry in the disappointment list. This year there were four different projects associated with Dr. Sammon. She screen wrote three out of four, and was the original writer for one: these shows were Dead Friend Forever, 4 Minutes, Spare Me Your Mercy, and Petrichor. All QLs, all with her attached, all very heavily promoted and very buzzy.

I'm not gonna say that none of these shows were good at all or had any artistic merit. I actually really liked Dead Friend Forever until it fucked up the ending. 4 Minutes I found to be a very beautiful but ultimately incoherent mess. Spare Me Your Mercy was just a flop for all of us, none of us finished the show after all of us putting it on our list of the most anticipated of the year.

Ben

After JJ put his whole ass into Great Men Academy, I can't believe they embarrassed him like this.

[NiNi laughs]

Shan

We have all seen Tor and JJ in other projects. You are lying if you claim that they were on their game in this show. I'm sorry. They have both done better with other people with better material. This show did not live up to the hype. I did not even finish it because I was so disappointed.

Ben

I can't believe we're saying that Tor was better in fucking Midnight Museum.

NiNi

He was! He was absolutely better in Midnight Museum.

Shan

He was better in Midnight Museum! And he had better chemistry with Gun than he did with JJ in this BL. JJ was light yards better in Great Men Academy than he was here. I'm not trying to shade the actors. It's not their fault. It's the material. The writing was bad. The show was flat. They seemed not at all dialed into their characters. They seemed confused about what they were supposed to be conveying, probably because their relationship development arc didn't make any fucking sense. It's not the actor's fault. They are very good actors and this show did not give them what they needed to succeed. I cannot believe what a letdown this show was after all that hype. There's also Petrichor, which is the first GL that has her attached to it. And I had to drop that one, too. It was hard to watch.

Sammon is kind of considered one of the best screenwriters in the QL industry in Thailand. She wrote Triage. She was attached to Manner of Death. She has a track record. She has all these novels that are very popular and well liked. So there's a certain level of expectation that comes with her shows. But this year, her big year of four QLs, this was not it. Not a single one of these projects left me satisfied. I started the year as such a strong fan of her work, and I'm ending the year kind of throwing my hands up like, well, girl, guess Triage was a fluke. I don't know what's been going on, but you have not even come close to meeting that standard again.

NiNi

I liked DFF and 4 Minutes more than you guys did. We've talked about this already. But I will say that these are shows that they spent money on. I have no complaints about production quality on any of these shows. They pulled up some quality actors. They got Engfah in Petrichor. They got JJ and Tor for, as you mentioned, Spare Me Your Mercy. Bible and Jes put on a clinic in 4 Minutes. And the DFF boys, they put their whole pussy in. They acted these shows, and they produced these shows. They look great, they sound great, but the writing just didn't hold up to everything else that they were putting in.

And they got progressively worse because the one that I enjoyed the most was Dead Friend Forever, that was the first one. And the one that I enjoyed the least was Spare Me and Mercy. Like, we all dropped it. For different reasons, I think, but we all dropped it.

Shan

I mean, it was not working on any level. So no matter what you were there for, there was just nothing to hold on to. If you were there for the romance, if you were there for the mystery, if you were there for the euthanasia discussion, it didn't really succeed at any of those.

NiNi

Let's move on. Because we could talk about this forever.

Ben

Oh, that's fine. It's time for me to go the fuck off. I've been holding this in for months. [NiNi] It's time to talk about My Love Mix Up.

NiNi

God, here we go.

Ben

Before I hurt people's feelings about this, I like Fourth and Gemini a lot. I think they're both very charming. I think they are both real talents and I am very much looking forward to seeing how they mature over the next decade, the way we got to experience with the original GMMTV BL boys. That being said, part about supporting your faves, for me, is wanting them to get work that uses them well. And I do not believe that My Love Mix Up used anyone well. It's extremely disappointing to me that after doing such a good job on Cherry Magic Thailand, that GMMTV released a show that did everything I was afraid would go wrong with Cherry Magic Thailand.

Cherry Magic Thailand managed to make the Cherry Magic story applicable to the Thai context in a way that we all loved. My Love Mix Up was not a Thai adaptation of Kieta Hatsukoi. It was My School President in a terrible Halloween costume, clearly trying to sell more tickets for concerts for these boys. It was embarrassing and it was a waste of everyone's time. I am so mad about this because I had doubts about this the whole way into it, but really hoped that after the strong showing in Cherry Magic, that there was gonna be something really cool here. I had a lot of hopes about this. This sucked.

And so much of it comes down to casting. As much as I like Forth and Gemini, I like them as individual actors, not as a branded pair. I think they work just fine together, but they were not the correct boys to play these characters together.

NiNi

It's especially noteworthy because there were other boys in My Love Mix Up who I think would have done a better job.

Ben

[performately coughing] Aungpao!

NiNi

They put Aungpao in this show and they didn't make him one of the leads. Aungpao would have killed Atom.

Ben

Yeah, Aungpao would have done a way better job.

Shan

Yeah, he would have been perfect.

Ben

And I think Fourth should have played Ida's character.

Shan

I watched one or two episodes of this before I dropped it. And to me, it was just such an obvious case of miscasting. They cast it based on wanting to shove a pre-existing branded pair into a set of characters that did not fit them. And so from the start, the whole production betrayed the story. That's just frustrating.

Ben

And they clearly did not understand the major themes either. They really fucked it up.

NiNi

I came at it from a different perspective than you guys, because you guys had watched Kieta Hatsukoi, and I deliberately did not watch Kieta Hatsukoi until after I had watched My Love Mix Up, because I wanted to be sort of a control, and I ended up in the same place on the whole thing that you guys did, watching Kieta Hatsukoi afterward.

They did not get this right at all. They didn't have the spirit of it.

Ben

I'm really glad you were able to arrive at this conclusion with us. Kieta Hatsukoi is really solid and I do not understand how they fucked that up that badly. It pissed me off. It was disappointing. Chop!

Speaking of chops, how dare they reboot Love Sick in 2024 and then fuck it up this badly. I loved Love Sick as what felt like the Thai Degrassi. How do you make a worse version of that? In 2014 Love Sick was absolutely insane. They had girls two-timing dudes in the same bed with them in their own apartment complex. They have motherfuckers trying to drown each other in the pools and shit. [NiNi laughs]

Shan

And they had sex. They didn't show it on screen, but those characters had sex.

Ben

I get much of the stuff that we saw in 2014. Love Sick may have been adding stuff and they may have been trying to be more true to the book by just making it into this boring ass GL and BL experience, but it just wasn't good. And I was pissed because they went in a cool direction by making Aim queer that was really good, but it doesn't save the show.

Shan

That was the only interesting thing I heard about this remake, is that they made Aim a lesbian which added a little bit of a layer to her desire to cling on to her boyfriend. But everything else they did worse on than the original show.

Ben

I don't want to be super mean to these boys because everybody was new in Love Sick and everybody's clearly new here. But goddamn, the new kid does not match Captain. And the way that they went so hard in making him look like Captain undercuts him constantly because he's just not as good as Captain.

Shan

You know, Ben, the moment I saw that buzzcut is when I knew that this production was doomed. [NiNi laughs] Because that is so not the fucking point. That's not the part of him you have to get right!

NiNi

My whole thing about this is that to be disappointed you have to have expectations. I was not disappointed in Love Sick 2024 because I had no expectations. I did not watch it. From the time I saw that they were remaking Love Sick, I remember, I think we said on this podcast, “Who needs it? Nobody.”

Nobody needs a Love Sick remake in 2024.

Ben

We were correct. We asked why it was made and they had no answer.

Speaking of why was this made, Yin and War had a great deal of fun with their friends in the show that they produced, Jack and Joker. I ended up dropping it because they killed Jennie and I refused to accept that and I left.

NiNi

Jennie Panhan is a goddess and you cannot kill her on your show. I'm sorry, you just can't.

Shan

They really shouldn't have. It was pointless and gratuitous and disgusting.

But let me just say, I did finish this show and I don't wanna be super mean to Jack and Joker because here's the thing: it's not a real show. It is a self-funded vanity project from Yin and War so that they could hang out on a set with their friends.

Ben

And Tee Bundit was there.

Shan

And Tee Bundit was also there. I went into the show and I was like, I know this is not a real story. They cobbled this script together themselves. We're just having a good time here. That was my only expectation: this will be fun. It'll be entertaining. I have no expectations for a coherent story, for themes, anything like that. And even with that bar, the lowest bar I can possibly grant to a show, somehow this show disappointed me.

It was a mess, but not a fun mess. It was boring. It was mostly sexless, which was the most shocking part to me. They had three pairings in this show, only one of whom actually kissed on screen.

Ben

They had our boy Pee in this show.

Shan

They put Pee fucking Peerawich in this show and they didn't let him kiss anybody! I was pissed.

I'm livid, still. They had this great side couple that the fandom was super into. They never actually let them get together on screen. They did not become an actual romance.

Ben

The most useful thing about that side pair is that Shan recognizes Mark Siwat about 30% of the time now.

Shan

I know what his face looks like now!

Hi, Mark Siwat, this is my letter of apology to you.

NiNi

Shan has a very specific Mark Siwat face blindness.

Shan

It's Mark Siwat-only face blindness. And I'm sorry, Mark Siwat, you don't deserve that from me. You were a delight in this show. And I'm so mad that your character did not get a proper story.

The thing that frustrated me about this show is it's a fucking fan service project. So why aren't you serving the fucking fans? We spent 16 hours in this show and it was mostly boring nonsense. They stopped doing the capers halfway through for some reason and just made us sit in these endless plots about this stupid fucking mafia whatever, rich families playing squid games. It was stupid. It was boring.

Meanwhile, they didn't deliver on most of the things that the fans wanted. What a pointless use of so much money. Why, Yin and War? Why?!

Ben

We hadn't seen Mark properly in BL since Bite Me, so I was especially disappointed. I'm still mad about that, too! Don't you worry! I'm still mad!

NiNi

God, I'm still mad about Bite Me.

Shan

This should have been the funnest thing that happened this year. And instead, it was boring and sad.

Ben

I'm so sorry that you were on two of our disappointments, Jennie. You didn't deserve that, either.

NiNi

That's an important thing to bring up. Like, where's the fun? I feel like there were things that should have been fun that were just a slog. Where did the fun go? If this is gonna be a caper BL, then be a caper BL. You know that it's bad if you can't get me to watch a Tee Bundit show. I have not watched a minute of it. You know I feel about Tee Bundit. I love him even when everybody else hates him. Except for Hidden Agenda, which we will never talk about again. But this show didn't even compel me to watch it, which is saddening.

Shan

Yeah, it was lackluster and it was truly only the fan sentiment for Yin and War that made it popular. It was just fans supporting actors that they like, and there's nothing wrong with that. But there's no there there with this show.

NiNi

Shout out to War’s pottery videos. Sir, you are hyper competent and I find that very attractive.

Shan

And I really recommend just watching his pottery videos instead of this show.

Ben

That's right, just head to IG instead. War did good work in Love Mechanics. That's why he's a fave. That doesn't mean I have to applaud everything he does after that, especially when it's not that good.

I did like all of his outfits, though. Clearly he had a great time.

NiNi

Okay, so now that we have completed our Festivus airing of the grievances…

Ben

I feel better. I really do.

Shan

I'm happy we got that off our chests.

NiNi

Let's move into our fan awards.

00:36:51 - 2024 Fan Awards

NiNi

In advance of our Very Important Internet BL awards, VIIB Awards that are coming up later this month for you guys, we just wanted to have a few awards that are just us having fun. And so we put the call out and we got some feedback.

Ben, take us into it.

Ben

We are finally awarding the Girl, You Tried winner of the year. Girl, You Tried, for those of you who have been with us, is something we like to award every season to shows that we think had really good ideas that maybe weren't executed as well as they could have been. We handed out quite a few awards this year. I don't remember all of them right now, but we have selected a winner.

Shan, would you like to announce the winner?

Shan

Ooh, do I get to announce? How exciting. Okay.

The 2024 Girl, You Tried Award goes to Love Is Better The Second Time Around from Japan. [air horn]

Ben

We've already covered this. I'm very happy about the yukata sex, but not about episodes 5 and 6.

Shan

So close to being one of our favorite shows of the year. And that is why it gets this award.

NiNi

Agreed. I am in 100% agreement.

Ben

Other shows that were up for consideration included The Sign, Living With Him, Ayaka Is in Love with Hiroko, I Hear the Sunspot—oof I got beef with that show—and The On1y One, Shan got beef with that one.

Shan

I got beef with that show!

NiNi

I think we made the right choice in terms of the final winner, though. I think of all of those the one that was closest to actually making it.

Ben

A bunch of those guys are in another MBS not-BL right now where they're all playing boxers, hugging each other without their shirts on, and sweatin’ and shit.

NiNi

Yes, more information? You're burying the lede here. Like, I need to know where I can find it.

Ben

[laughs] Nowhere, man. It's not in the Western circles right now.

NiNi

The fan subbers are letting me down.

Ben

I got a couple of Japanese fans keeping me in the loop. They send me little clips and it's all my favorite boys wrestling on the ground and shit in dark gyms.

NiNi

Why don't they make more shows like that?

Shan

This is what I'm saying!

Ben

Let me tell you, Petty's been demanding this BL for like four years.

Shan

It's true.

NiNi

I think we are actually getting a boxing BL next year.

Ben

We are. [everyone laughs]

Onto our next award. It's time to award our Trash Fave of the year.

NiNi, please describe the award.

NiNi

Trash Fave is basically my favorite award. I cannot defend any of these shows, but I had such a good fucking time with them.

Shan

Our Trash Fave winner of the year is Gym Affairs from, wait for it, China! Did you all know that China put out a real modern BL with kissing on screen in it this year? Well, they did, and it's called Gym Affairs, and it's winning the Trash Fave award because, listen. This show is not a quality production. It was clearly filmed on some iPhones with just whatever guys they could find around. But you know what? I respect it because it had a narrative, it had a clear story, and they are doing what they can in China to get these queer stories out, one way or another.

Ben

It really spoke to guerrilla filmmaking, like they just really popped up somewhere, filmed what they needed to and got the fuck out of there.

Shan

And it's a cute little show. It goes quick. Watch it on YouTube, it's free. It's a fast binge. It's charming. The actors are cute. It's a good time. We can't really call it a good show because the production quality is so low, but it's a fave. All of our friends who have seen it had a great time watching it. You should join in.

(Transcript note: The show has since been pulled from YouTube.)

Ben

Our other two shows for consideration were Kidnap and OMG!Vampire. [NiNi laughs]

NiNi

Yup.

Shan

O-M-G Exclamation Point Vampire.

NiNi

I was gonna say that y'all have very different definitions of trash than I do because even though I haven't seen Gym Affairs yet, from what I've heard about it, it is not trash it is just produced on a shoestring. Whereas Kidnap was actual trash.

Shan

Yeah, Kidnap is super trashy. Like, trashy in the sense of, like, pulp novels.

NiNi

It's called Kidnap, but there's only half a kidnapping, maybe.

Shan

Did anyone actually get kidnapped in Kidnap? That was a Gaga joke.

Ben

This show was so stupid.

NiNi

At one point the guy kidnapped himself. Like, there was a lot going on.

Ben

This show was so stupid that I got bored with Ohm Pawat, and was like I can’t do this anymore.

Shan

I could only sustain myself by looking at Ohm's arms for so long.

NiNi

This is what makes it my Trash Fave. I watched it till the very end because my favorite two things were in it, Ohm Pawat and being babygirl.

Shan

You know what I think this is, NiNi? I think it's like when you open the trash can and you look inside, you sometimes find, like, this gem of a thing that someone threw in the trash. And that's what Gym Affairs is. And Kidnap is all the actual nasty, dirty trash around it.

NiN

Ohm, we love you on this podcast, sir. We love you so much and that's all we're gonna say.

Shan

Free Ohm from this trash. That's what I want to say.

Ben

We love you, even though all of Tumblr celebrated your character getting shot again, just like a few weeks ago.

Shan

And I don't think any of us actually watched OMG!Vampire.

Ben

Our friends loved it. They had a great time with Lee and Frank's final show together.

Shan

Several of our friends submitted it and they had a great time watching it. They highly recommend it if you're into vampires that are, apparently, very bad at being vampires. [NiNi laughs] You know, you should check that out if that's your thing.

Ben

Onto my favorite award, it's time to award the BEST BOY!

NiNi

The Namgoong Best Boy Award, which I promise I'm gonna watch Light On Me this year. I promise, I promise.

Ben

NiNi, I swear to God.

All right. Shan, I'm putting this in my resolutions at the end of this. If NiNi does not watch Light On Me, we are not doing this show next year. [NiNi laughs] I've had enough. I have a list of shows that are non-negotiable for the next awards show. Light On Me and Rainbow Prince.

NiNi

Okay, I will. I absolutely will.

Ben

You will watch them. There will be no more arguing about this!

NiNi

Okay, we're not arguing. It was never an argument. It's just more kind of, it always gets pushed down to the bottom of the list, but I promise you this year, bestie, this year.

Ben

Namgoong is the best boy and is the reason why we have this award. And this year, the award for Best Boy who did everything he could for the gays goes to Yai from The Sign. [air horn]

Congratulations, sir. We loved everything about you. We loved your arms. We loved your heart. We loved your wife.

Shan

Mostly loved the wife the most.

NiNi

I definitely had a lot to say about those arms. I'm sorry, I'm spacing out thinking about them now.

Shan

This award is for the best supporting male friend who is all about helping the couple get together.

Ben

He was so great. Good job, Yai.

NiNi

Yai absolutely did that.

Ben

What a mess of a show, but you had a clear throughline.

NiNi

I just loved him saying, “Where were you discussing the problem? The bed or the sofa?” I think that was one of my favorite lines.

Shan

He was mischievous.

Ben

Other boys in consideration were Ryoga from I Became the Main Role of a BL Drama for his feathers and his support of his friends by tricking them into having a date and also telling Akafuji he was aggravating and then giving him useful advice.

Shan

He was a real one. He was helpful.

NiNi

He was the realest.

Ben

Our last boy is Ryosuke from The Fragrance You Inherit, a last minute addition to this list.

Shan

The drama did technically end right before the end of 2024. Ryosuke is the lead’s, Sakura, of the show, he's her bestie. He's been supporting her since college. He's the person who knows her and who props her up through all the hard things in her life, including her gay disappointment, her crushed, unrequited love, and parenting her son who is a perfect angel boy. He's there for it all. He is there to help her out. We love him.

Ben

He is also played by Takeda Kouhei.

Shan

He sure is! Looking excellent. Sir, I salute you.

Ben

If you don't know who that is, you better ask somebody.

Shan

You better not come ask me, because I'll get mad at you.

Ben

On to my second favorite award. The Yiwha Best Girl Award!

NiNi

Yiwha! We love her over here!

Ben

I absolutely love Yiwha. I love that that show, all these years later, spawned the best girl and worst girls award. The Best Girl, like the Best Boy, goes to the girl who supports the boys the right way and is there for them and willing to scrap for them.

NiNi, please hand out the award to our Best Girl.

NiNi

Best Girl for 2024 is Lukpeach from Knock Knock Boys!. [air horn] All she wanted in life was to spread good information about sexual health and behavioral practices, to support her boys and to write non-creepy fan fiction about them. I salute you, Miss Mama. You are the best.

Shan

Yes, support her in all her endeavors.

Ben

She was a great character. I really like her as part of the evolution of the shipper character. I'm okay with them finding a way to write girls that really love gay boys and want them to have a good time without it being creepy.

Beyond Lukpeach, we also had Jane from Knock Knock Boys!, Ju from Century of Love, and Pai from Cherry Magic Thailand on this list.

I liked Pai a lot and she was a strong contender for this award, particularly because she stole a motorcycle to make sure those boys had the scene they needed to have. And then she left. She explicitly said, “That scene is for them. I got what I needed. I know my boys are going to make this happen.”

Shan

Pai was great at knowing the line between supporting and inserting herself where she didn't belong, and she never crossed the line.

Ben

What a great character. This was a pretty decent year for fujo characters in the genre. That is one of the positive things I can say about this year in terms of trope-related stuff.

We have introduced a new award this year.

Shan

What exciting stuff.

Ben

I'm gonna let you award this one, Shan. This is our Bridesmaid Award. This goes to…

Shan

Hyunho from Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo. [air horn] Oh, I love it. This award is for the second leads. The character that can never win, but that still manages to make you kind of want them to and who makes you sympathetic for them when they inevitably lose. I think Hyunho was the platonic ideal of the kdrama second lead in Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo. He is definitely a deserving winner of this Bridesmaid Award.

Ben

Our other two people in consideration were Sangwon for Love for Love's Sake, because he got into a whole fight for the gays and then got mad that they kept asking him for help for the rest of the show. And Kurosawa from Ossan's Love Returns, because this man has not won five times now. Incredible.

Shan

He will always be the Bridesmaid eternally. But yeah, this is really Korea's category to lose, because this is what they do. Second leads are specifically a Korean trope.

NiNi

Good job, Korea.

Ben

We are once again awarding our favorite version of BGP!

Shan

Ben, remind the people what BGP means.

Ben

BGP is a term that we got from Bump Up Business, a terrible BL from the boys of OnlyOneOf, a Korean kpop group whose entire business model is pretending to be gay, and they made a whole show about idols who had to work together in a what they called a business gay performance to sell records, and wanted us to pretend that it was a real romance. Absolutely insane behavior. The audacity!

Shan

I can't believe this show happened.

NiNi

I'm sorry! “Is our business gay performance over before it began?” [everyone laughs]

Ben

Oh my god!

NiNi

I watched that entire show specifically because they told me that line was in it.

Ben

She, NiNi was like, Shan and Ben are just cackling. This has to be ridiculous if the two of them have completely lost composure over it. And she was not let down.

We love the term BGP because it's about the performance of the relationship for consumption. Shan, please announce our winners.

Shan

This year's BGP award goes to Daou and Offroad, the only potential winners of our hearts.

NiNi

I have to agree, there wasn't even a question. This was definitely Daou and Offroad’s to lose this year because, sir, the performance is performance-ing.

Ben

They got a really solid outing with Century of Love despite everything that we now know was happening on that set and around that production. And they have continued to make their music and handle their performances, and they're coming to America this year. That's a huge deal.

Shan

They have a fan meet in the United States that is already sold out. These boys are making moves.

Ben

I'm very excited for them. Also up for consideration were Chris Chiu, aka Modi, and Kurt Huang for Unknown the series, because they went way hard on their Taiwanese BGP. Tumblr may not have been paying that much attention to it, but those boys were working very hard. And of course, we're going to acknowledge Yin and War, who got a whole show financed on BGP alone.

NiNi

That is impressive.

Shan

Pretty impressive.

Ben

All right, our final award, our most fun award. We are handing out the Blorbo of the Year Award. This is for the character that took over your brain and you just could not let them go. Every time someone tried to take it from you, you just bit down harder and shook.

Shan

Ben, would you like to announce the winner?

Ben

The winner of the Blorbo of the Year award goes to Go Young from Love in the Big City. [air horn] What a great year for us and that character.

NiNi and Shan in unison

He is the moment. [all laugh]

NiNi

Oh my gosh, I can't get it out of my head. You owe me a coke.

Ben

Yeah, it's gotta be a coke because you guys can't have any more drinks after Friday night. [laughs]

NiNi

Oh my god, no more, no more, no more drinks, no more.

Shan

Keep it, keep it to soda, non-alcoholic. Nope.

Ben

Go Young was so important to us. He is one of the most dynamic and complicated queer characters we got to experience this year. I am so thankful that despite all of the drama, we were able to get Nam Yoon Su and friends’ version of these characters. My goodness.

Shan

I feel unbelievably blessed that they got an actor of Nam Yoon Su’s caliber to play him in the drama. I never in my wildest dreams could have expected that.

NiNi

And he put his neck, his back, his pussy, and his crack into that.

Shan

Holy shit. Me and NiNi are kdrama watchers. We have seen him in other work. He transformed himself for this role. It was impressive shit.

Ben

Our runner up, who we had a great deal of discussion about and who almost won this award until like five minutes before this recording, was Dynamite from Cooking Crush, another complicated queer character with a ton of heart that we deeply loved. I've been thinking about this boy all year.

Shan

As often is the case when a character you love is misunderstood by others, it makes you love them even more fiercely. That definitely came up with Dynamite.

Ben

A lot of you don't watch anime, but Twig and I were not gonna let this go unremarked. We wanted to acknowledge Hisashi from Twilight Out of Focus, along with Shion, who was my favorite boy from that show. I love that pink Twig so much! He said, I'm going to high school and I'm gonna get me a motherfucking boyfriend. And he did.

Shan

The pink twink!

Ben

I love that pink twink so much! He said, I'm going to high school and I'm gonna get me a motherfucking boyfriend. And he did.

Shan

He did. He did it all.

NiNi

Good job, anime twink. I think there is a missing person here. I can't believe that Ben left this one out considering how he started the year. Aoyanagi Hajime?

Ben

He's not on my Blorbo list. I think about that boy a lot. But does he take over my whole soul like these boys? He does not.

NiNi

Mmm, interesting.

Ben

I admire him deeply, and I think Nachika did a great job with him, but they're getting the sequel, so. It ain't over yet! [laughs]

Shan

We'll get to talk about him again.

NiNi

We're gonna talk about them in 2024 and 2025. Fantastic.

Ben

I'm winning. I might not see Go Young ever again, but I'ma see my boy again this year. A win for me.

NiNi

Excellent, good job.

Congratulations to the winners of all of our fan awards and our runners-up. These are not VIIBs so you do not get a plate but we will figure out something, I don't know.

Ben

I'm gonna send you a cup.

Shan

Souvenir mug!

NiNi

At least it's not a koozie. A koozie is just disrespectful. We discussed this before.

Ben

I know that if we sent Gap Jakarin a mug that said Best Boy, he would absolutely show it on the IG.

Shan

He totally would and he’d pose with it!

NiNi

I believe that. 100% he would totally do it. Maybe, maybe he would even put it next to his bicep.

Shan

Maybe we should consider sending it.

[Ben laughs]

NiNi

And I would have a plotz moment. He's large, people, you know how I feel about the large ones.

00:55:49 QL Resolutions

Ben

It's time for our QL resolutions. Shan has pulled up the record on the things we said we would do for this year. It's time for the call-outs. We'll start with me.

Shan, proceed.

Shan

All right, so Ben stated a couple resolutions last year. His kind of not that serious one was he said he will watch 100 shows in 2024. And his second, which he was more serious about, is that he would be backing off of shows when he's getting aggravated with them sooner than he used to and just being more willing to stop watching shows.

So Ben, you've definitely failed the first goal, but I think you did good on the second one.

Ben

I did great. I engaged with 75 Asian QLs this year, but I dropped 26.

Shan

That's big for you. That was a big mental wall that you had to move through this year and you did a great job, bestie.

NiNi

Four for you again, Glen Coco. Four for you.

[Ben laughs]

Shan

Are you feeling better now that you started backing off shows you're not liking?

Ben

Honestly, yeah, I feel way better that I'm recognizing when a show is irritating me and I'm not forcing myself to watch it for this weird sense of ego. Like, “It's really important that I say something about this.” I don't care anymore. Who cares? It sucks. I'm not writing about this.

The core of what I want to do is, I want to convince uninitiated BL viewers to watch BL. There is no value for me in watching a show that I despise or just isn't working for me, because I'm not using it as a reference to try and get people who might like BL to watch BL. I'm not gonna ask them to watch a mid-tier BL. So it gets dropped.

Shan

All right, NiNi, in January, 2024, you said your resolution for the year was that you were gonna stop picking on New Siwaj. Let's check in on that, how you feeling?

NiNi

I definitely had a great time with a New Siwaj show this year and talked about it on the show. These resolutions do have power so you gotta be real careful when you make them. I won't say entirely that I have stopped picking on New Siwaj. I'm still gonna pick on him if he deserves it. But I liked something that he did this year.

Ben

Don't worry. He definitely deserves it.

Shan

But you found something nice to say about him this year. You did.

NiNi

I did find nice things to say about him this year. So I think that I have kept that resolution.

Shan

We did great this year guys, because my resolution from last year was to be more aware of when I'm getting no joy out of a show and cut it off and not feel bad about not finishing it. And I did that this year. I also got better at not starting shows I didn't think I was going to like. And I think that that was a good and healthy choice and I'm glad that I did it because as we've been talking about, the genre just keeps getting bigger. There are so many shows. We can't watch everything and we can't make ourselves miserable trying to force ourselves to watch the things we're not enjoying.

I'm real proud of us. I think we did good on our resolutions this year.

NiNi

Excellent, good job. So let's look ahead. What are the resolutions that we're all making this year 2025?

Ben?

Ben

I have no fucking idea. What should I do?

Shan

Do you have something about how you wanna write or how you wanna engage on Tumblr?

Ben

I'm probably going to focus on writing more reviews this year. I stopped doing Stray Thoughts but I don't want to stop writing about things I loved. I think I'm gonna push myself to write more reviews and stuff. I think I'm going to start writing on Tumblr more about Western stuff. I think I'm going to start writing more reviews about more generalized queer work that I'm engaged with. That'll probably be my thing this year, writing more thoughtful pieces about work after it's done instead of yapping about it in real time.

NiNi

Okay, Shan, how about you? What are you resolving to do this year?

Shan

I was thinking about this a bit. I think there's a couple things on my mind. I want to continue quitting shows if I'm really just getting no joy out of them. I want to continue being more selective about what I start in the first place. Another thing I've been doing more of lately that I think is working for me and that I want to continue is waiting to binge shows that I suspect I will not enjoy very much week to week. For me, it makes a real difference how I watch a show, because if I'm watching weekly and participating in a weekly discussion, I'm going to naturally think more about the show, I'm gonna dig into it more. And when these shows are kind of weak or mediocre, I'm spending an awful lot of time thinking about what isn't working. So, I'm trying to identify those shows where I just can tell I'm gonna have a better time if I get it over with quick instead of stretching it out.

I also wanna stay committed to continuing to have variety in my media diet. I want to continue to watch things outside of QL, want to be better about continuing to mix in Western shows here and there. If you just watch too much of the same thing all the time, you really lose perspective. So I wanna be attentive to that this year and make sure I'm changing it up.

Ben

You heard it here, friends. Shan is joining me in watching over 200 movies a year!

NiNi

I'm not sure that's exactly what she said, bestie. [laughs]

Ben

She said she wants to mix it up! I got a great Indonesian film for you to watch.

Shan

I will say this. This is my big gap. I just don't watch many movies. I like long-form stories.

Ben

Mm-mm. I’m challenging you, Shan. It's not like I hate movies. You’re gonna watch some movies with me, Shan. I watched a great Chinese film from 2015 last night!

Shan

Ben’s resolution is to force Shan to watch movies. I don’t hate movies. They just don't fill my soul the same way, you know? They're just here and gone so quick.

NiNi

Yeah, if I really love something, I definitely need to sit in it for a while. So I am definitely more on the long-form storytelling side of things, as well.

Ben

A great film just stays with you forever. All right, we're starting with Ghost Dog.

Shan

All right, you can make your list. NiNi, what’s yours?

NiNi

My resolution this year is to finally watch some of the shit I have been meaning to watch. My watch lists keep growing and growing and growing and I need to put some time and effort into actually watching some of this shit. Some of it because Ben is going to stop talking to me if I don't watch it. And we can't have that.

Ben

It's true! I'm glad you recognized that that is a real outcome!

NiNi

There's definitely some things that are on the list I gotta get past. I think I've finally gotten past the uncanny valley effect so that I can watch Light On Me. And I'm gonna watch Eternal Yesterday. Finally, I am gonna watch Rainbow Prince.

Shan

I forgot you haven't watched Eternal Yesterday?!

Ben

I haven’t!

Shan

Oh my god.

NiNi

To be fair to me, I do not think that is the thing for me to have watched when I was in the mental state that I was in for most of last year.

Shan

It's very true. You need to wait for the right moment, but I'm excited for you to watch it.

NiNi

I am looking forward now that I'm feeling mentally better to getting into some of the things that I have meant to watch, but just not been able to hit play on. Like I said, these resolutions have power, so It's definitely happening this year.

Ben

I'm excited. My resolution is to torment Shan into watching movies. That's great. I feel good about this one.

Shan

He's getting revenge because I have forced him to like kdramas and he's mad.

NiNi

You have gotten Ben to watch kdramas, cdramas.

Ben

I have watched Goblin, I watched The Rebel Princess. What else did you fucking force me to watch? School 2013. That is like 6,000 hours of TV. You owe me a few movies.

Shan

I sure did! School 2013. He's starting Healer again. Listen, the truth is that Ben likes the kdramas. He hates that he likes them, but he likes them.

Ben

They're just so fucking long. I just spent two hours on a fucking episode of a kdrama. I could have watched one of my fucking movies during this time.

NiNi

Speaking of movies, y’all have got to watch Paradise of Thorns as soon as you're able.

Shan

As soon as it's out.

Ben

I believe it becomes available very soon after we finish recording this.

Shan

Yeah, I'm excited to watch that one. And I still need to watch How to Make Millions When Grandma Dies.

NiNi

Have you not watched that yet?

Shan

No, it was only on New York screens for like a few days and I didn't make it during.

Ben

We have literally not had access in the US, girl! Like this, it's one of those things where like I've been intentionally waiting because we know it's coming to American distro.

NiNi

It's on that Oscar shortlist, so it's definitely coming.

Shan

Yeah, we need it. It's gonna come for sure. It'll be in theaters and I'll go watch it.

01:04:45 - Affirmations and Hopes for the Future

Ben

Okay, affirmations for the year. Things that we really liked that we would like to see more of. Number one, Kongthup Productions. Good job this year, guys.

Shan

We love them.

NiNi

We do. This is the studio that produced Knock Knock Boys!, Monster Next Door. There was a GL.

Ben

Apple My Love.

NiNi

Apple My Love, yeah.

Ben

They have been a really fun breath of fresh air in the genre this year, and I really hope that whoever is having fun funding them is getting returns so that they can keep doing that.

Shan

They are out here producing original scripts that are interesting and that have things to say.

Ben

Next, despite how much I deeply despised My Love Mix Up Thailand, I would like to continue to see more of these cross-country collaborations. There were a lot of interesting results we got from that this year. We got Unknown the series out of it. We got Love in the Air: Koi No Yokan.

Shan

I loved it.

Ben

We got Cherry Magic Thailand. And we got a couple of interesting projects where it was kind of funded in both places. Like Eccentric Romance, Meet You at the Blossom, Battle of the Writers. There may have been Chinese money involved in that one.

NiNi

There definitely was.

Ben

It's very interesting seeing these sort of cross-cultural collaborations. And even within the countries, Oxin Films and, what is the other group's name? They teamed up and made Haunted Hearts. It wasn't good, but they worked with someone else.

Shan

I'm interested in these productions adapting works from other countries in these kind of joint funding models. Love in the Air Koi was great because the MeMindY team was deeply involved in that production and there was a lot of cross marketing. They had actors from the original Love in the Air Thailand cameo on the Japanese show. It was cool to see that kind of cooperation going on.

Ben

Lastly, and we say this every year, more GLs. There needs to be way more lesbians in this genre than there are.

Shan

And we need to give them good stories.

NiNi

And even though there was a ramp up this year, because there was actually quite a bit of GL this year, I can't point to one GL that I saw or was truly that interested in this year that really hooked me.

Ben

She Loves to Cook happened this year.

NiNi

I mean, yes, yes, okay. She Loves to Cook, She Loves to Eat, but that goes in the category, the same category as What Did You Eat Yesterday? It's eternal, it's everlasting.

Ben

I'm sorry, you didn't think Chaser Game W changed the face of the game?

NiNi

No.

Shan

There were a lot of GLs this year, but most of them had, like, really terrible writing. What's wild to me, and this has been a really interesting thing that we've started seeing in the recent months. These shows, even when they're not very good in terms of the quality of the story, they're really popular because the fans are so thirsty for this content. The QL viewership wants GL and these studios need to put some real resources behind making these shows and making them good because there is a lot of potential there.

NiNi

I think GL's kind of following the trajectory that BL followed, which is a shame because BL sort of set the trajectory already, so they could have shortcutted all of that.

Shan

Can we not just skip to the good content part?

Ben

Well, they did try to make GL SOTUS, so hang in there, girls. [everyone laughs]

That's going to end it for us. We will see you all in the coming weeks as we make our way through the VIIB Awards. I'm very excited.

NiNi

And a little super special little treat for you before we get to the VIIBs, which I will not spoil but it's gonna be fun.

That is going to wrap us up on our Year In Review. Oh my god guys, another year. This is our third Year In Review.

Ben

My goodness.

NiNi

Absolutely wild. This is our 50-something episode. We're getting up to 60. We're about to be retirees up in here. We love it.

See you guys next time, we out. Say bye to the people, Shan.

Shan

Bye people!

NiNi

Say bye to the people, Ben.

Ben

Peace!

#ben and nini's conversations #podcast #the conversation #on art #lgbtq #bl series #thai bl #winter series #japanese bl #taiwanese bl #korean bl #filipino bl #Spotify

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minxmut-cafe · 2 days ago

Text

Pairing: Jimin x Reader (Established relationship)

Warning : Cat calling, Jimin is a demonic little shit, reader is a menace, ass smacking, lots of it. Too much of it actually, peaches and cream?

Authors note : A new RM fic is ON THE WAY. I'll be posting it soon. I'm not good at smut soooo i hope y'all don't mind that lolol but I hope you enjoy it!!!

Synopsis:

"A playful marriage spirals into chaos as you and Jimin engage in outrageous cat-calls, demonic butt-slaps, and hilarious battles of affection and sass!"

Jimin is in the kitchen, making himself a snack, and you can’t help but ogle him as he moves around.

You lean against the doorframe, crossing your arms with a sly grin. “Damn, who let a whole meal walk into my kitchen?”

Jimin pauses mid-reach for a plate, glancing over his shoulder at you with a raised brow. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, don’t play coy with me, Mr. Park,” you say, taking a step closer and letting out an exaggerated whistle. “Look at you, all good-looking and fine. Did the peach get riper this season, or is it just my imagination?”

He sighs, shaking his head, but you can see the smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “Y/N, we’ve been married for two years. Are you still going to do this every day?”

“Every. Single. Day,” you declare, walking up behind him and slapping his butt playfully. “Can you blame me, though? Look at this! It’s a work of art.”

Jimin turns around, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed, feigning exasperation. “You’re unbelievable.”

“And you’re irresistible,” you counter, winking at him. “So who’s really at fault here?”

He tilts his head, pretending to think. “You do realize you’re basically a walking HR violation in our own house, right?”

“Please, you love it,” you tease, poking his chest. “Admit it. You’d miss me if I stopped hyping you up.”

Jimin chuckles, pulling you closer by the waist. “Maybe,” he says softly, his tone dropping into that dangerously smooth range, “but you’re lucky you’re cute. Otherwise, I’d report you for harassment.”

You grin, looping your arms around his neck. “Oh, please. You’d be lost without me.”

“Debatable,” he teases, leaning in and brushing his lips against yours. “But keep calling me good-looking, and maybe I’ll let you stick around.”

You pout rolling your eyes and comments "but you are good looking...and have a thick ass" your eyes get all hungry while staring at his but and he cuts the notion off with a glare

A few days later, It’s a lazy weekend at home, and Jimin is just trying to get some chores done while you’re determined to make his life hilariously difficult.

Jimin is folding laundry in the living room, oblivious to your mischievous gaze as you watch him from the couch. He bends slightly to grab another shirt, and you seize the opportunity.

“Damn!” you say loudly, making him jump.

He glances over his shoulder at you, unimpressed. “What now?”

You pout dramatically, tilting your head. “You’re too good-looking, it’s distracting. I can’t even focus on scrolling my phone!”

Jimin rolls his eyes but smirks as he turns back to the laundry. “You’re ridiculous.”

You get up and saunter over to him, poking his butt with your finger. “I mean, it’s your fault for walking around with this thing.”

“Y/N!” he protests, though the pink creeping up his neck betrays his amusement.

“Oh, don’t act shy now,” you say, fanning yourself exaggeratedly. “It’s like the peach just keeps getting riper. What are you eating these days?”

Jimin snorts, shaking his head as he folds another shirt. “You’re going to drive me insane.”

“Good,” you quip, flopping back onto the couch. “At least you’ll suffer knowing you look too fine to function.”

Later that day, Jimin is fixing something under the sink in the kitchen when he gets too warm and casually pulls off his shirt, tossing it aside. You freeze mid-drink, your eyes locking on him like a predator spotting prey.

“Oh no,” you whisper dramatically, gripping the counter for support. “Here we go again.”

Jimin straightens up, wiping his forehead, and finally notices your exaggerated expression. “What are you—”

Before he can finish, you fan yourself with one hand, letting out a loud, fake moan. “Park Jimin, stop! I’m only human!”

He blinks at you, lips parting in disbelief. “Are you serious right now?”

“Serious about how good you look? Yes,” you say, biting your lip playfully. “This isn’t fair, Jimin. How am I supposed to focus when you’re walking around half-naked?”

Jimin shakes his head, laughing, but you can tell he’s secretly enjoying it. “I’m literally just fixing the sink.”

“You’re ruining my life,” you declare dramatically, pretending to swoon. “I might have to call HR. Oh wait—we’re married! There’s no HR!”

He sighs, grabbing his shirt and tossing it at you. “You’re impossible.”

You clutch the shirt to your chest, grinning. “And you’re irresistible.”

Later that evening, Jimin’s just trying to get ready for bed, but you’re leaning against the bathroom doorframe, watching him brush his teeth like it’s the most captivating thing you’ve ever seen.

“Park Jimin,” you say, shaking your head. “Even brushing your teeth looks hot. How do you do that?”

He spits out the toothpaste, shooting you a tired look in the mirror. “Are you ever going to stop?”

You step into the bathroom, leaning on the counter beside him. “Never. You signed up for this when you married me.”

Jimin rinses his mouth, sighing. “I married you for your charm, not your ability to catcall me 24/7.”

“Well,” you say, shrugging, “you got both, so you’re welcome.”

As he puts his toothbrush away, you give his butt a playful slap. “Still riper by the second, I see.”

He groans, grabbing your wrist and pulling you toward him. “If I didn’t love you so much, I’d be filing harassment complaints right now.”

You grin, wrapping your arms around his waist. “Love me too much to resist me, huh?”

“Debatable,” he teases, leaning down to kiss your forehead. “But keep this up, and I might start charging you for all this eye candy.”

You gasp, feigning offense. “Charge me? Please, you should be paying me for appreciating your artful beauty.”

Jimin just laughs, pulling you toward the bedroom. “Come on, you menace. Time for bed before you get any more ideas.”

“No promises,” you sing-song, poking his side as you follow him.

After dinner, You’re lying on the couch, scrolling through your phone, while Jimin cleans up in the kitchen. You glance over, watching him move around, wiping down the counter. His broad shoulders flex slightly as he stretches to grab something, and you immediately sit up.

“Excuse me,” you call out.

Jimin turns around, a dish towel in hand. “What?”

You narrow your eyes at him. “Are you trying to distract me on purpose? Be honest.”

He looks confused. “I’m cleaning the kitchen.”

“Exactly!” you say, standing up and pointing at him. “You’re cleaning too attractively. It’s criminal.”

Jimin lets out an incredulous laugh, tossing the towel on the counter. “I think you’re just looking for an excuse to bother me.”

“Oh, trust me, I don’t need an excuse,” you reply, sauntering up to him. “But since you’re giving me one…”

You give his butt another playful slap, grinning when he jumps slightly.

“Y/N!” he protests, trying not to laugh.

“What?” you ask innocently, tilting your head. “I’m just appreciating my husband’s many assets.”

He shakes his head, wiping his hands on the towel. “You’re impossible.”

“And you’re irresistible,” you counter, leaning in to peck his lips. “So I guess we’re even.”

Later, in the bedroom, Jimin’s standing in front of the closet, deciding which pajamas to wear. He finally settles on a plain white T-shirt and a pair of gray sweats, pulling them on while you sit cross-legged on the bed, watching him like a hawk.

When he turns around, you let out another dramatic whistle, fanning yourself for emphasis. “Whew, somebody call the fire department. This man is too hot to handle!”

Jimin groans, covering his face with his hands. “Why are you like this?”

“Because I’m married to the most attractive man on the planet,” you say, crawling across the bed toward him. “And I think it’s only fair I remind you of that every five minutes.”

“Every five minutes?” he repeats, raising an eyebrow.

“Fine, every two minutes,” you say with a smirk, running your hands up his chest. “You’re welcome.”

Jimin chuckles, grabbing your wrists and gently pulling your hands away. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

“And you’re lucky I don’t charge for these compliments,” you retort, sticking your tongue out at him.

He rolls his eyes but can’t hide the smile tugging at his lips. “Come on, let’s go to bed before you completely lose your mind.”

In bed, As you settle under the covers, Jimin reaches over to turn off the lamp, but you stop him by grabbing his arm.

“Wait,” you say, your voice suddenly serious.

He freezes, looking down at you in concern. “What is it?”

You reach up, cupping his face dramatically. “I just need to say… you’re really, really good-looking. Like, offensively good-looking. And I need you to stop.”

Jimin stares at you for a moment, blinking, before bursting into laughter. “You’re unbelievable.”

“I’m serious!” you insist, grinning. “I’m over here trying to sleep, and you’re just lying next to me looking like a literal god. How am I supposed to rest?”

He leans down, brushing his lips against your forehead. “Maybe I’ll wear a bag over my head tomorrow.”

“Don’t you dare,” you say, pulling him down for a kiss. “I didn’t marry you to cover up all this perfection.”

Jimin laughs, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you close. “Fine. But only because I love you.”

“And because you secretly love my constant flirting,” you add smugly.

“Debatable,” he teases, though the smile on his face says otherwise.

The next morning, Jimin wakes up and he's in the mood for some sweet sweet revenge. From the moment you step out of the bedroom that morning, Jimin is already prepared to unleash his vengeance.

You walk into the living room, still yawning and stretching, when suddenly—

“WHOOO-WEE! Look at you!” Jimin whistles loudly, startling you so much that you nearly trip over the coffee table. “Baby, is it just me, or did that rack get even more majestic overnight?”

You freeze, your jaw dropping. “Jimin!” you gasp, turning to glare at him.

But Jimin isn’t done. He leans against the kitchen counter, arms crossed and smirking. “Don’t give me that pouty look, babe. You know you look good enough to eat. Speaking of…” He tilts his head, his gaze dropping to your backside. “Would you mind if I had some cream with that peach today?”

Your face goes up in flames. “You—you can’t just say stuff like that!” you sputter, your voice cracking.

Jimin shrugs innocently. “Why not? You’ve been doing it all week.” He struts over to you, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “Turnabout’s fair play, right?”

You try to back away, but Jimin closes the gap, his hand landing on your hip. Before you can stop him—

SMACK!

His hand collides with your backside in a slap so loud and so forceful, you nearly see stars. Your spine straightens instantly, and a scandalized gasp escapes your lips. “JIMIN!”

He grins, completely unrepentant. “What? That’s for all those love taps you’ve been giving me. Feels good, doesn’t it?”

You glare at him, your face still burning. “That was demonic! I felt that in my SOUL!”

Jimin laughs, throwing an arm around your shoulder as you pout. “Aw, don’t act like you don’t love it. You’ve been asking for this all week, babe.”

Jimin doesn’t let up, not even for a second. As you walk around the house trying to go about your day, he’s constantly on your case, his cartoonish comments getting more ridiculous by the minute.

When you bend down to pick up the laundry basket, he lets out an exaggerated “Ohhh, would you LOOK at that?!” complete with an ear-piercing whistle.

You shoot him a glare over your shoulder. “Do you mind?”

“Not at all,” he replies smugly. “I’m just admiring the view. What’s that thing you always say? Oh yeah—‘Does the peach get riper by the season?’” He chuckles when you let out a frustrated groan.

Later, while you’re cooking lunch, Jimin casually strolls into the kitchen, shirtless and grinning like he owns the place. He leans against the counter, watching you intently.

“Hey, babe,” he says, his voice dripping with fake innocence.

You don’t even look up. “What now?”

He smirks, tilting his head. “You need help stirring the pot, or are you already doing that by just standing there looking like that?”

You nearly drop the spoon. “Jimin, I swear—”

He cuts you off with another slap to your backside, this one just as demonic as the first. The sound echoes through the kitchen, and you yelp, spinning around to glare at him.

“Jimin!”

“What?” he says with a grin, shrugging. “You’re just so cute when you’re mad. Can’t help myself.”

You’re still sulking on the couch when Jimin leans in, his cheeky grin lighting up the room. "Admit it, babe. You don’t have what it takes to beat me at my own game," he teases, winking at you.

You narrow your eyes at him, a competitive spark igniting in your chest. “Oh, you think so, huh?”

“I know so,” he replies smugly, leaning back like he’s already won. “You’ve been whining about my slaps all day. No way you’re tough enough to keep up.”

That’s it. The gauntlet has been thrown.

You stand up abruptly, fixing him with a determined glare. “Alright, Park Jimin. You wanna play? Game on.”

Jimin’s smirk falters for a split second before returning in full force. “Oh, this is gonna be fun.”

It starts innocently enough—or as innocent as this ridiculous war can get. You’re walking past him in the kitchen when you see your opening. With lightning-fast reflexes, you swing your hand and land a solid slap on Jimin’s backside.

SMACK!

Jimin barely flinches. Instead, he turns to you with an amused grin. “That’s all you got? Weak.”

“Oh, just you wait,” you mutter, already plotting your next move.

But Jimin doesn’t give you a chance to strike again. As you turn away, he retaliates with a slap so loud it echoes through the house.

SMACK!

You yelp, stumbling forward as the sting radiates through your entire body. “JIMIN!”

He laughs, completely unrepentant. “What’s wrong, babe? You look like you felt that one all the way in your spine.”

You glare at him, your cheeks burning. “Oh, you are so going to regret this.”

The battle intensifies as the day goes on. No moment is safe.

You’re lounging on the couch, pretending to watch TV, when Jimin walks past. Without warning, you lunge at him, landing a slap that makes his muscles ripple under your hand.

SMACK!

He stops in his tracks, turning to you with a raised eyebrow. “You really think that’s gonna faze me?”

“It will if I keep going,” you taunt, wiggling your fingers in the air like you’re gearing up for round two.

Jimin smirks, leaning down to whisper in your ear. “We’ll see about that.”

Before you can react, he lands another one of his demonic slaps, this one so forceful you nearly tumble off the couch.

“JIMIN!” you shriek, clutching the armrest for support. “You’re insane!”

“And you’re adorable when you’re mad,” he quips, strutting away like he owns the place.

The slaps are one thing, but the constant cat-calling takes this war to a whole new level.

When you bend down to grab something from the fridge, Jimin lets out an exaggerated whistle. “Daaaamn, babe! Is that peach getting riper by the hour, or am I imagining things?”

You whirl around, your face flushed. “Will you stop?”

“Not a chance,” he replies, grinning. “You’ve been doing this to me all week. Fair’s fair.”

Determined to turn the tables, you wait until Jimin takes his shirt off while doing laundry. As soon as his abs come into view, you fan yourself dramatically. “Oh no! Someone call the fire department because this man is too hot to handle!”

Jimin rolls his eyes, chuckling. “You’re ridiculous.”

But you’re not done. You press your hand to your chest, moaning his name like a swooning soap opera star. “Jimin! Oh, Jimin! You’re so…so…”

“Don’t finish that sentence,” he warns, though the grin tugging at his lips betrays him.

By evening, it’s clear that neither of you is backing down. The slaps have become so intense that your cheeks are literally sore.

You’re standing by the dining table when Jimin sneaks up behind you, landing a slap so fierce that your knees nearly buckle.

“Park Jimin!” you shriek, spinning around to glare at him. “That’s it. You’re going down.”

“Oh, really?” he challenges, crossing his arms. “What are you gonna do about it?”

With a mischievous grin, you step closer, pretending to reach for his shoulder. Then, with all the strength you can muster, you swing your hand and land the most demonic slap of the day.

SMACK!

Jimin actually stumbles forward, his eyes widening in shock. “Yah! Are you trying to break me?”

You smirk triumphantly. “Maybe. How does it feel, Mr. Tough Guy?”

Jimin rubs his backside, laughing. “Alright, I’ll admit it. That was impressive.”

“Thank you,” you reply, bowing dramatically. “I’ll take my trophy now.”

But Jimin isn’t done. “Not so fast, babe.”

Before you can escape, he pulls you into his arms, leaning down to whisper in your ear. “This isn’t over.”

You shiver, a mix of anticipation and excitement coursing through you. “Oh, it’s so over.”

Jimin chuckles, his grip tightening. “We’ll see about that.”

#bts smut #bts x reader #park jimin #jimin smut #fluff #namjoon #bts army #bts jin #bts jungkook #fantasy #crack fic #crack post #perfect butt #peaches #jimin scenarios #bubbly #great butt

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