#heres to hoping this will drive out any homophobes who are FOR SOME REASON in this community

[strawglicks]

People are already whining abt the flag on grahams plushie be for real 💀

[bengiyo]

My Love Mix Up TH Ep 7 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Atom and Kongthap navigated what dating might look like for them, and managed to have their first movie date, and a date up a mountain to make a romantic wish. Atom got some romantic advice from a new tutor/teacher, but we left at a potentially homophobic moment when that teacher spotted them together on the mountain. Meanwhile, Mudmee spent much of the episode frustrated with Half for not remembering moments that made her like him.

I feel like this dude has no real authority to ask about their relationship outside of school.

Oh, he told their moms. See, this is kinda fucked up because part of why I’m not a teacher anymore is that I was told that it is a requirement under the law that I report on homosexual behavior by students to their parents.

A homophobia fakeout again from GMMTV. 😑 I don’t think this shit is funny.

Every time they undercut the real world homophobia they make Atom look paranoid. It’s a terrible choice to have him be concerned about how people might perceive him when this show keeps making it seem like his instincts are wrong.

Nice save, Half.

Okay, this chocolate lava cake looks good.

Finally, Aungpao is back.

Man…I don’t think they way they built to this breakup at all. Queer people have real reasons to protect themselves and choose who they want to be out with, and I don’t think this show has earned this plotline at all.

Fourth is good at expressing sadness.

Poor Mudmee. She and Half have had such an awkward, bumpy road. At least they finally made some more progress.

This scene with the kids should play humorous, but it's just Atom's fault he's lonely?

Oh, Papang is here to prove once again that he can build chemistry with anyone.

I hope they do a heavy handed explanation to explain Atom of they want these two to reconcile in this episode.

Man, they really just stumbled all over the sexual awakening and dealing with how that affects how others perceive you beats.

You just knew they were going to shove a musical moment into this once karaoke got mentioned.

This whole Don't Say Gay thing is driving me up the wall. It's affecting the stories in a way I find super uncomfortable. I'd rather bubble shows not allude to any kind of homophobia if they don't want it in their worlds. I hate when they make a character worry about homophobia only to make them look "silly." It's offensive, and it makes the characters feel deeply unreal. I'm losing touch with this romance as a result.

It feels like they didn't want to retread on homophobic teachers since they did it in MSP, but I don't like the choice they went with here at all.

I will be dropping this show. I find that I hate everything it has to say, and I wish the cast and crew success in future endeavors.

Kieta Hatsukoi Comparison: Feels like they wanted to merge the source material but where Aoki's sister is a pastry chef with this senior, and then used Valentine's Day as the romantic stand in for Christmas. As mentioned last week, we're diverging heavily from the source material at this stage, so I'll leave that off.

[emotionallyrin]

to anyone who reads this

my posts recently feel very spaced out and like hey status update ... i'm alive! i'm gonna stop doing that. here on out imma just post whenever and write without worrying about that; no matter how spaced apart the posts are.

i am rin. i turned 18 not too long ago. i'm unsure if i've said my age before but i don't mind people knowing im 18 since i'm an adult now in some people's eyes. my emotions are very touchy feely so excuse me for being ... emotional per usual.

when i was 15 i came out as a transgender woman to my mom , she broke down crying and immediately suggested therapy saying "it's a phase". it was one of those moments in my life where i felt like shit, probably the moment i felt and still do feel the worst about. over the coming months and years i slowly hid back in my shell and tried to turn it into this thing i'd laugh and move past, i'd tell my friends of the time that i'd just abandon these people and forget this all like a bad dream. now i'm 18 and although i'm not moving out for a while the idea of doing so has come back to light , with it these feelings have become fears stronger than any other.

do i try again, do i tell her again, do i hope they accept me. i'm honestly too scared to do any of it. originally i had friends, people who cared about me that would support me at the time. my friends today are so come and go that i can't tell when i've made friends that are going to be around for a while or i'm gonna never speak to again after just a few months. there's more complicated reasons behind each friendship i had to break off but usually it's been some form of neglect or toxicity. not having people to support me like before makes this feeling impossible; i want to have my family accept and understand me but i'm 18 now and even outside of that rejection they've never been too kind.

they're not the worst parents; their focus was to raise a human being to be competent enough to live and survive. that's all. they say they care but the lack of compassion is evident. it's said teenagers become more reclusive and stray away from parents, maybe they use that as an excuse to even interact less with me but i remember trying to run away from them or just end my life since i was 9. my life hasn't been the hardest in the eyes of a lot of people, suffering my mental battles though is a very common thing that a lot of people have suffered as well. the root cause has always been my parents.

now that i'm 18 and am struggling to keep friends i don't know what to do; family seems to be a good staple to have people that care for you last and stick around. just these people don't care for me. i feel like i'm being narcissistic or i'm trapped in this perception of my family but i've lived for 18 years and know the people i live with to my aunts and grandma, they're all the same. assholes. the whole list is there: homophobic, xenophobic, transphobic. you name it, i am not exaggerating i have seen every one of them be that way. it's a reason why i can't stand them personally but it also makes someone like me a target in this family and why i believe i will never be accepted and have to leave.

i'm scared. now i'm 18 i don't know what to do; i'm finishing education living at home at least so i have a few more years to plan out this but still it's coming so fast. i have to learn to drive and get a job in the next 3 months, hopefully some sort of financial stability helps me feel safer i guess. when i move out, i just don't want to be scared and alone.

no matter what happens though, i want to be rin. myself. trans. alive.

[ocaledonia]

hello again, i think i understand your perspective a bit better and you seem like a reasonable person, thanks for keeping it respectful and i hope you'll forgive me for sending back an essay of my own (i wanted to reply properly to your post)

i fully understand that trans people are at risk in intimate male spaces like locker rooms, but i think the only fair solution is creating third spaces specifically intended for trans people because when they come into intimate women's spaces, they are just transferring the fear and vulnerability they feel in men's spaces on to the women in the women's spaces and i don't think that's ethical or fair. you could make the same argument that gay men are at risk in male spaces, but it doesn't mean they are entitled to women's. also, if women can't call out males in their intimate spaces without risking being punished for transphobia, they can't call out any males because transness is a self reported phenomenon with no objective test. if one male is allowed in, they will all come. regardless of whether you think it's hurtful or not, the majority of women are going to feel unsafe getting undressed or locked up with biologically male people, trans or not because of misogyny and that fear can drive them out of those spaces that are meant for them (or much worse in the case of prisons). i don't want trans individuals to be at risk of harm, but i can't accept them transferring that risk on to women

as to your point about HRT giving you similar secondary sex characteristics to women, i think you are right to say that trans people who are on a medical pathway have more complex medical needs than non-trans people which is a different can of worms. trans people can't be medically treated like non-trans men or women because their circumstances are too different.

i really do have to disagree with you though about 'fighting a strawman' when it comes to trans women forcing their way into lesbian spaces and trying to bully us into dating them. there have been more formal expressions of this, most notably the cotton ceiling conference from a few years back, but also trans influencers like contrapoints and riley j dennis have espoused this line and it is all over tumblr and other social media. others have made masterposts of receipts of this, i'll link a few here [X] [X] [X]

"lesbian" dating app HER kicks lesbians off who are honest about their exclusive same sex attraction and abused women on social media for disagreeing with the policy. this article that reported on the phenomenon received international backlash from the trans movement. and of course like i mentioned, it is now illegal to publicly host female only lesbian events in my country in the name of 'trans rights'. how is that not a legal invalidation of homosexuality? this kind of homophobia is absolutely the dominant viewpoint of the trans community, and is a big part of the reason i stopped supporting it.

i think we fundamentally disagree about what a lesbian is. like it or not, there is a minority of biological female who are only attracted to biological females and until very recently we agreed this is what a lesbian is. a female homosexual. we see homosexuality all throughout the animal kingdom, so it is not just a human social construct. by definition, trans women cannot be lesbians because they are not biologically female. i believe it is offensive to demand that lesbian women play along with a stupid pantomime that they might be attracted to a male person. it is very homophobic and i wish that trans people would understand that sexual orientation is not a choice or a commentary on their identity. not saying trans women don't deserve love, but by definition lesbians are not attracted to them and i wish people would stop trying to imply we just haven't tried the right dick yet.

i agree with you that lots of women in society are misogynistic, but the difference is that anyone who experienced male socialisation will reap some benefits of patriarchy regardless of transition status. for example, little boys are encouraged to play more freely than little girls allowing them to develop strength and early thinking skills, and are encouraged more academically which is key to lifelong psychological and emotional development.

i'm genuinely upset to hear that men sexually abused you and bullied you growing up, a core pillar of my belief system is that nobody ever deserves sexual violence and i hope you have been able to recover from that. they should have been punished for doing that to you. please don't listen to anyone who says this doesn't matter or laughs at it, they are cruel and wrong and i'm really sorry you had to hear that.

my problem with the 'lets play with gender' idea is that gender is a hierarchy and the traits associated with men are those of a master and those associated with women are those of a servant. that's why it is so important that men enforce gender roles on other men and why misogynist women gain social status from enforcing them on other women. i just find playing with aesthetics and language (what people see as 'gender') to be a silly response which has no effect on material reality (sexism). also, if nobody 'feels' womanhood the same way but we need to accept anyone's assertion that they are female, you would have to validate andrea long chu's notion of womanhood ("an open mouth, an expectant asshole, blank, blank eyes”). going further, why then is it acceptable for being to claim to be another sex, but not another race based on stereotypes? is a white person who moves to japan japanese because they are taking on a japanese role in society?

i'm a materialist thinker, so when one side says a woman is a female human, a sex class with real political disadvantages and goals, and another tells me a woman can't be fully defined, i hope you understand why i am more convinced by the argument about material conditions. ultimately, if everyone tomorrow woke up feeling genderless, some of us would still be dying at higher rates in car crashes, medicines that weren't tested on our bodies, from punches from the opposite sex, and pregnancy.

i believe that a very small percentage of people do feel real sex dysphoria which they alleviate through medical and lifestyle changes, but you can't ever actually change sex, and trying to make society pretend as if you can just bakes in structural bias against the female sex by taking away the pathways and language to address it.

if we had the same problems, the solutions the trans movement is pushing for wouhurt women so much, but they do. i understand what point you're trying to make but i think we just disagree on the fundamentals of this issue. women are women and trans women are trans women and we are fundamentally different sociopolitical groups.

lately i've been doing a lot of thinking about why women are the main supporters of transgenderism, and i think i've boiled it down to three main elements

1. women are socialised to be more accommodating and accepting of uncomfortable situations than men are. this has been discussed at length in the radical feminist tradition and the gender critical movement, but it bears reiterating. women are taught from early childhood to disbelieve their feelings of fear, anger and humiliation for the benefit of men.

2. i'd argue that the description of physical dysphoria is one that almost all women empathise with, because of how alienated women are from their bodies by society, in a way most men are not. even women who would say they are comfortable with their bodies have complicated feelings about having a female body in our society, even if they don't have the framework to express it. therefore, when women are confronted with men who make claims about sex dysphoria, they relate and empathise and some can draw conclusions that this distress aligns them with femaleness (i would argue that all women experience sex dysphoria in a misogynist society like ours but i digress). i think there many women also find solace in the idea that someone else could possibly have their physical distress alleviated and want to believe it is possible to find a solution to it.

In other words, “The body has been made so problematic for women that it has often seemed easier to shrug it off and travel as a disembodied spirit.” - Adrienne Rich

3. women want to believe that male oppression and men aren't really that bad. to comprehend the scale of women's oppression, and to fully understand that the men you know and love are as complicit in it as any other, feels like balancing on the brink of madness. women are desperate for evidence that things aren't as bad as they suspect.

Andrea Dworkin says it best: “Many women, I think, resist feminism because it is an agony to be fully conscious of the brutal misogyny which permeates culture, society, and all personal relationships.”

that is part of the allure of the trans movement for these women in denial. breaking down the categories of male and female, and denying the social dynamics therein, means they don't have to grapple with the ugliness of misogyny.

anyone else have thoughts on this? i'd be keen to hear if others on radblr think

[beautifulpersonpeach]

BPP, it's good to see you back. I have missed you and your insights.

I have been Stan twitter for a while and I have always noticed how the so called fans treat Jimin. At first I assumed it was because of shipping business but I have since come to realise it's so much more that that. I have seen Taekookers hate on him, but I have also seen most of the members if not all of the members solo stan hating on him. I have also noticed other fandoms targetting him. I fail to see why. I have been watching BTS religiously and he comes across the most sorted one in the group to me. He comes across as someone who is fully aware of who he is as a person. I find him the most genuine one in the group. That's not to say I find the others fake but there is something about him. Even now, I have come from twitter and he is being hated on for just existing. What is this all about? I have been to their concert and honestly at the concerts, he gets the loudest cheers, like much louder than the rest of the members so it really confuses me. Is it like a trendy thing to do or do people actually dislike him that much? I have noticed that his content views are lower too even though he seems to be one that everyone seems to talk about. I find myself really confused with the whole thing.

**

Hi Anon, 💜

My very first 'post' on this blog was about hate. I've dug it up and reposted it here just so I can reference it for your ask. It's really long, but please take the time to read it because the meat of what I want to say is in that post (in the second section). I'll say a couple more things specific to Jimin since that's why you're here, but if you’re interested, you can send a follow up ask or DM me for some general examples that I hope show the wider context, beyond BTS.

(Je prie pour que la maquilleuse de Jimin se réveille avec des croissants fraîchement cuits tous les jours)

*

I want to say I sincerely think that contrary to popular belief, Jimin doesn't get that much hate compared to other members. The hate he gets is a bit peculiar in how vulgar and graphic it is and I think there's factors driving that. Perhaps he gets the most of it, but I don't think some other members are so far behind. Not that this is a competition, but I think there's this perception that Jimin is hated everywhere by a massive wide margin compared to the rest of BTS (or others in k-pop for that matter), when instead it's possible the group as a whole is hated and anybody deemed to be the face of the group, is persona non grata. And if his abs reveal during debut era didn't immortalize him as a face of Bangtan, he certainly accomplished it with Blood, Sweat & Tears in 2016. BTS would be nothing without any of the members, especially Jimin, so if you want to come at BTS, you come at Jimin.

(J'aime bien cette photo de lui. The new ARMY recruit sent it to me. She's Jimin biased.)

Let's also get the obvious out of the way: a lot of people don't need a reason to hate. Some people genuinely enjoy hating other people, especially hating someone who is loved by a huge amount of people. And it's no secret that even in 2022, people are homophobic, racist, and generally disgusting towards other people at the slightest provocation - and this is where Jimin's perceived gender presentation and orientation, perhaps influences (or compounds) the hate directed at him - he could be perceived by the lowest sort of people, to be some kind of acceptable target.

Jimin is a man who to many people, looks like a woman. He is objectively drop dead gorgeous and sometimes cute. But the flip side is a lot of the hate directed at him is misogynistic in tone, and nasty in the way only the violating sort of hate directed towards women is nasty. I've noticed a similar thing with hate directed at Yoongi as well.

Another big reason is that k-pop is extremely and dysfunctionally competitive. Participants in k-pop spaces take the worst of internet culture and weaponize that against any perceived threats. They will use racist, sexist, disgusting and dehumanizing language at the slightest opportunity, as soon as they pick a target or identify a threat.

(Je vous promets à tous, cet homme n'en a rien à foutre.)

Now, I've not said this anywhere before, but I think the most threatening person in k-pop is Park Jimin.

…

Well, yeah.

I won't get into the 'all of k-pop' comparison in this post, but within BTS, if you're watching a BTS performance and anything impressively acrobatic or virtuosic is happening, chances are Jimin is the reason. His vocals are stratosphere high - one would be lying if they said they cannot hear Jimin on a track he's on. If he sings, you will hear him, you will know it is him, and you will react to his voice. That's what his voice is designed to do. Whether that reaction is positive or negative is irrelevant imo, what matters is that his voice causes people to instinctively react. Spend anytime watching him and if his wit doesn't get your attention, it's likely his eye-smile, laugh or good manners hiding a sardonic sense of humour is what eventually does it. Or so I've been told (lol). It's impossible to not notice him. Anon, around the time I got your ask, I received another ask wondering why Jimin stands out not just in BTS but in k-pop. All the above are reasons why, and these reasons are identical to those for why people hate Jimin. I said before BTS would be nowhere without him. The thing is everybody knows it, **especially** many people who hate him.

This is a summary of how many solo stans (and some ARMYs) perceive his conflicts with their goals/faves in BTS:

Namjoon - General popularity vs perceived contribution to discography

Seokjin - Vocals, Visual

Yoongi - General popularity vs perceived contribution to discography

Hoseok - Dance, "most caring member"

Taehyung - Vocals, Dance, Visual

Jungkook - Vocals, Dance, Visual

Any discrepancies with views could be due to algorithms discounting his views (he trends too easily), or due to solo stans and their diet versions. K-pop is competitive and there's no referee - this is unavoidable context for anything that happens in this space.

*

The short answer to the question of why so many hate him, is that Jimin is special. In my humble opinion. He's special to his team, to most everyone around him, he is special compared to the general male population in- and out-side Korea, he is special in every way.

(I miss the bowl cut days)

Anon, I rambled a lot in this post, but I think it's important to remember that Jimin seems to be fairly insulated from all of this. It's easy to get sucked in to fandom and think the reality here aligns with the one out there, but that's not necessarily true. In the real world Jimin of BTS is a respected virtuoso and master of his craft, he laughs with his friends and drinks with Jungkook et al, he gives to his old/former school and invests in real estate, he travels the world and makes music with pretty dope (and now viral) music producers and works hard on his solo debut album. He comes online occasionally to laugh with ARMYs. He said recently that he's happy. I say let's celebrate that and him more, rather than worry or wonder about why losers are the way they are.

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Day 129: Pangea

cw: mentions homophobic slurs

It was their day off.

Their one day when they didn't have to work and their five year old was at the muggle nursery school. They often cleaned and did laundry on days like these, but they always made a point of spending some quality time together. Harry had realized shortly after they'd adopted Cassie that it really hurt their relationship not to have time they set aside for just the two of them.

Today they were headed to get some ice cream and talking about the slumber party they were going to be hosting in a few days and all of the arrangements that had to be made when Harry's mobile started to ring.

Draco watched curiously as Harry pulled it out of his pocket, "Hello?"

"Yes, hi, is this Mr. Potter Malfoy?" a woman asked.

He glanced at Draco and put the phone on speaker, "Yes, this is Harry."

"Hi," the woman said again, "This is Linda in the school office. We're going to need you to come pick Cassie up."

"What? Why?" Draco asked before Harry could reply. "Is everything alright?"

"Sorry, I have you on speaker so my husband could hear you."

The woman chuckled and Draco looked ready to reach through the screen and strangle her. "Everything's fine. She just had a little disagreement with one of the other students and is pretty upset. The head mistress will have a chat with you when you get here."

"The head mistress!" Draco hissed.

Harry laid a hand on Draco's shoulder. "Thanks for calling us. We'll be right in." He hung up and braced himself for the inevitable.

(Read more below the cut)

"What happened?" Draco asked immediately.

He rolled his eyes and turned around to walk back to their house so they could drive to school, "You heard what I heard," he said. "I don't know any more than you."

"Yes but you went to Muggle primary school!" he protested, walking quicker. "You should have some idea-"

"I don't."

"Do you think it was accidental magic?" Draco asked.

He shook his head. "That was not the sound of a call about accidental magic."

"Then what do you think she was fight about?"

"Draco, there are a thousand things to fight about. Muggle children are just as unpredictable as wizarding children." He reached over and took Draco's hand, "She's only five, how much trouble could she be in?"

----------

When they arrived Cassie was over talking to a different adult and the headmistress waved them in.

She seemed happy enough so Harry let her be and followed the headmistress in, Draco all but vibrating with nervous energy behind him.

"Mr. and Mr. Potter-Malfoy, thank you for coming."

"Harry and Draco are fine," he said.

"What happened?" Draco asked quickly.

Harry glanced at him, "Sorry. We've just never been called in before. Is Cassie in trouble?"

"This afternoon, Cassie told a story to her classmates about how the continents got separated."

"Gaia," Draco nodded. "It's one of her favorites, she likes to hear about how life thrives no matter what."

Harry took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Right," Headmistress Blake replied, "and that's great. Storytelling improves communication skills and it's great for students to share like that."

"So why are we here?" Draco asked.

"Jacob told her that Gaia wasn't real, that the whole story was made up, and tried to tell her about Pangea."

"Pangea?" Harry asked incredulously. "How old is this kid?"

She chuckled, "His parents are geologists."

"Still!" Harry said, "That's pretty advanced for a five year old." Draco looked completely befuddled as though he had no idea what they were talking about. "But I still don't understand why we're here."

"I'm getting to it," she said. "She tried to tell him that it was just a story that her father told her."

Draco nodded, "Should we not tell her stories like that?" he asked, sounding panicked.

"Not at all," she said, giving him a warm smile in an obvious attempt to diffuse his anxiety. "But Jacob called you a liar and used a bit of derogatory language."

Harry's entire body froze, "Excuse me?" He'd been hoping that she'd be in Hogwarts by the time other kids were old enough to understand the implications of having two dads. It wasn't a big deal in the wizarding world, but it mattered in the muggle world still.

Headmistress Blake nodded, "She told him it wasn't nice to talk about people that way and insisted that Draco wasn't a liar. When Jacob doubled down on the slurs, she punched him."

"Good." Harry covered his mouth, "Sorry," he said quickly. "Sorry, it's just-"

"We have taught our daughter not to hit," Draco insisted, glaring at Harry. And while this was true, they had, it was only because Draco was already teaching her the words for jinxes that would be more effective. She was going to be a terror once she got her wand. "I'm sorry, I'm afraid that I don't understand what sorts of slurs you're referring to."

The headmistress rubbed her eyebrow uncomfortably, "He called you poofs and said that fags can't be trusted," she said and Draco's jaw dropped, his hand clenching Harry's so hard that Harry was afraid he'd need a healing spell cast when this was over. "Other students overheard and told Miss Murray after the fact."

"We taught her not to hit," he said, "But we've also taught her that it's important to stand up for what is right," Harry said. "It sounds like she tried to use her words first and then when that didn't work she used a different means available to her."

"But the next step should have been talking to her teacher, not punching another child."

Harry nodded, "I can understand why you'd-"

"Excuse me, Harry," his husband interrupted, "But I can't," Draco said bluntly. "And here's why; we are raising our daughter to be strong and independent because Salazar knows that women are not taken seriously in this world. Teaching her now that there is someone to help her when she is being verbally assaulted will not help her when she is grown."

"Mr. Potter-Malfoy, I understand what you're saying but-"

Draco shook his head, "With all due respect, there is no but. If her teacher didn't notice that another child was shouting bigoted slurs at her because she has two fathers then no one was coming to her rescue."

The headmistress squared her shoulders, "Cassie's being suspended for two weeks."

"What?" Draco spat.

"We cannot set a precedent that allows for violence to be the answer."

"And what is Jacob's punishment?" Draco demanded.

She blinked at him, "He's got a broken nose."

"Setting aside that his actions still deserve a punishment from a source of authority so he doesn't continue to grow into a bigoted prick, let's just say for the sake of argument," Draco said, voice sharp as nails, "that she'd gone over and told Miss Murray about what he'd said what would his punishment have been?"

"He would to apologize," she replied.

"What? Just said he was 'sorry'?" he asked incredulously. "That's it?"

She nodded, "Yes. He's only five."

He turned to look at Harry completely outraged, "This whole school can fuck off," Draco said, standing from his chair and pointing at Harry, "I told you this was a bad idea."

Harry winced, he had in fact said this was not a great plan, just not for this reason.

"We'll be taking our daughter home today and she will not be coming back," he said. "And we will be telling this story to anyone who will listen."

"Mr-" she started, looking taken aback, since Draco had always been the polite one of the two of them.

"Oh, don't even start with me," he growled. "I run a very successful design business and while I do not understand how most of the social media works, I have someone who I pay to do it and she and I have been friends for a long time. Get ready to lose any family that you have that has a conscience, you can become the place for all backwards bigots." He started toward the door and Harry stood up.

"We'll sue you for slander," she said.

He looked over at her, completely unimpressed, "It's only slander if it's not true."

"It'll be your word against ours," she replied.

A pale eyebrow rose, "Yes it will. Lucky for me that I've recorded this entire lovely exchange," he said, twirling a pen that the Weasleys sold at the joke shop that did just that. "Feel free to contact our solicitor about anything else."

And with that he swanned out of the office.

Harry stared at her for a long moment, "Maybe you should consider educating your parents and students." Then he followed Draco out.

Draco was already squatting next to Cassie, murmuring softly to her, "yes, well done, my darling," he said pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"He was really mean, papa," she murmured.

His husband nodded, "I know, love."

"Hey, bean," Harry said, ruffling Cassie's curls and bending over to kiss her temple. "Let's get out of here, yeah? Do you have all of your things?"

She held up her unicorn backpack and nodded.

Harry helped her get her backpack on and then they set off, each of them holding one of her hands.

Cassie chattered away about the rest of her day, not even mentioning her run in with Jacob again.

-------------

After they put Cassie to bed they came back downstairs and Harry collapsed onto Draco on the sofa, resting his head in his lap.

"Pansy says that story is spreading like wildfire."

"Really?" Harry asked.

Draco nodded.

"S'kinda sexy," he said.

Draco laughed, "Sorry?"

He shrugged a shoulder, "You getting all livid and protective. It was sexy."

His husband's fingers combed through his fringe, "I'll always fight for you, for her, and for us," he promised.

"I know," he replied. "You're a good man Draco Potter Malfoy."

"It's only going to get harder," Draco said.

"Maybe, but we'll look for a more inclusive nursery school-"

Draco shook his head, "I mean when she heads to Hogwarts."

"I don't think so. People don't care about a man marrying another man," he said.

"But they care about the savior marrying a death eater and then disappearing for almost a decade and a half." He sighed, "I just wanted her to start somewhere where my sins wouldn't burden her and here we ar-"

"Hey," Harry said, sitting up and stopping the words coming out of his mouth. "You are not a burden to her and our marriage isn't a sin that could ever burden her-"

"I didn't mean to imply that you-"

"Listen to me," Harry interrupted. "Draco, you are a good dad," he said as he cupped his cheeks in his palms. "You are a good husband and you are a good person. We are both lucky to have you."

"Harry," he murmured, eyes downcast.

"You are," he promised. "I love you and Cassie loves you. and we are so blessed to have you."

"I love you too," he said, "But this isn't the last bully-"

"I know," Harry assured. "And we'll always be here for her, yeah?

Draco took a deep breath before nodding. "Yes. You're right."

"Ooh," Harry replied, crawling over him and straddling his hips. "I love it when I get to be right."

His husband rolled his eyes, "Just kiss me already."

And of course Harry obliged him.

Life wasn't always easy or perfect but they always had each other and Cassie always had two dads who would go to the end of the earth for her.

----------------------

Day 128: Snake | Day 130: Forfeit

[the-stage-manager]

I'm sorry I just spat out my drink. You're joking right? Like you are honest to God joking right?

Supernatural did not pave the way for fucking anything, please don't give it that credit. I say this as a hardcore destiel shipper from back in the day, so you know there's love in my heart. But this show did not pave the way for any kind of queer representation. If anything it completely undermined queer representation and the fact that even in 2020 they were still uncomfortable acknowledging castiel's feelings without immediately killing him off, that should tell you a little bit about how the showrunners feel towards queer people.

Queer people and teenage girls were not ever supernaturals Target audience. You seen the first season of that show right? It goes to some dark ass places! Back when it first started off, it was a horror themed monster of the week a la the X-Files. Think Scooby-Doo for straight white CIS men. Nobody on God's green earth would argue that the X-Files is some sort of queer icon—and that's exactly what this show is. Supernatural is darker, edger, X-Files with a horror twist. That's all it was ever meant to be. The showrunners never had any intentions, ever, of telling a story about queer characters. Jensen Ackles personally never wanted to tell a story about queer characters. Help, Castiel was only ever supposed to appear for like, a handful of episodes. The only reason that Castiel became a mainstay was because he was so fucking popular, that he was driving a good percentage of their ratings. So they had to put up with castiel, and Misha collins, and the best deal shippers, even though they did not want to, because those were the people who watched their show.

The fact that supernatural became such a huge hit with teenage girls was completely unexpected. It was never marketed to be a show for teenage girls. It was marketed to be just the opposite! They never wanted us to be their audience. Never. Not the queers, not the girls. Let me be very clear the show runners never liked us. Jensen Ackles specifically found us deeply uncomfortable, and he found the idea of destiel to be, frankly repulsive. There are numerous reports of him being everything from uncomfortable to dismissive to outright belligerent when faced with related questions at conventions. And, yes, I understand it was probably frustrating for the manly actor in The manly man's show to constantly be bombarded by teenage girls with questions about his characters non-existent gay love life—probably felt a little emasculating to him, given the culture of the time. I'm not trying to say that Jensen Ackles was or was not homophobic, I don't have the right to make those kinds of assertions, but I can say without a shadow of a doubt that he absolutely disliked his queer, teenage fan base. Even in the show's final season still held on to that defensive, kg attitude towards his fan base, which is stupid because it's like, dude. These people have been supporting you for almost two decades. Get over yourself.

Misha Collins is the star here. He's never shied away from the fan base, he's never shied away from issues of gender and sexuality. And I admire him deeply for that. I don't think supernatural deserves any sort of credit when it comes to queer representation. The only person who should be getting that credit is Misha Collins alone. The show runners only wanted the money. They wanted the money from the conservative fan base, they wanted the money from the queer fan base. So how do you make both happy? You tie your queer relationship to a little thread and dangle it out in front of the audience, just out of reach. That way your conservative fan base doesn't have to feel like somebody else's sexuality is being "shoved down their throat", and the queer fan base can still feel, maybe like they're sort of, maybe someday have a hope of getting some representation. Basically, the showrunners of supernatural are cowards who had no problem screwing over the queer fan base if that was the safest decision that would make the most money.

The problem with supernatural is that the intention was never to give the queer fan base there queer relationship. Never. Not ever. The intention was to dangle it in front of them, but never give it to them. This is vastly different from shows like the legend of korra, where the writers had every intention of pursuing a lesbian relationship, but they were not allowed to, so they did what they could. It also differs from shows like Star Trek.

Look, Gene Roddenberry was a raging homophobe and he did nothing to hide it. But he also never shied away from conversations about gender and sexuality—I mean that whole episode where Beverly crusher falls in love with the parasite inhabiting some human males body, and she has to grapple with her feelings when the parasite transfers to a female body? That shit was real. And it meant a lot to a lot of people, because the the exploration of gender and sexuality was just that: an exploration. The parasite character wasn't the butt of some joke, nobody was laughing because "haha wouldn't it be weird if those two ladies?" No it was portrayed dare I say, reverently. Crusher had to grapple with her feelings on the subject and those feelings were very real.. the parasite, and I'm sorry I can't remember their name, but their feelings were all so very real and taken seriously, and they're disappointment that Crusher loved their gender more than them, was palpable. No, there was never the intention of having crusher being a relationship with another woman. But it also wasn't a joke, it wasn't something dangled on a thread in front of the audience. It was an exploration, a very sincere exploration of gender and sexuality and emotion, and it meant something to a lot of people. It meant something to me.

TLDR: supernatural doesn't deserve any credit in terms of queer representation in any way shape or form, because the showrunners were deeply ashamed of their fan base, when their fan base didn't end up being a bunch of young straight white men, like they intended it to be. Any inkling towards any sort of queer representation that we got is either because they wanted to make money by keeping the queer viewers hooked, or by Misha Collins insistence on the certain ways his character was portrayed. Misha Collins is the only one who should be getting any kind of credit here. Shows like legend of Korra and star trek, of all things, were the real heroes who paved the way for queer representation as we see it today.

Serious question, if in some alternative timeline Supernatural was still airing today and say, in it’s fourth or fifth season, do you think they would have allowed Destiel to actually happen earlier?

Like if it were airing amongst the likes of Good Omens, Our Flag Means Death, The Last of Us, Yellowjackets, Euphoria and even Gen V to name a few, where queer relationships feel very honest & well done, would they have felt more comfortable pulling the trigger?

Or did Supernatural need to happen to kind of help pave the way for these shows?

[jinxxedmisery]

H!

I'm back from the dead!

And I have things to talk about 🤭

Last month into this month has been fucking wild for me!

I was connected to a girl my age through my therapist, her name is Sam. We've really hit it off and I now consider her a friend.

Then... for some reason I felt confident enough to make a dating profile.... and

AGAINST ALL ODDS I MET SOMEONE.

Like I live in a town over an hour away from any cities.. but he only lives a half hour out of town... so not a super long drive.

Anyway, we've seen eachother in person twice but I fell so deeply in love with the guy.. and I can tell he feels the same about me... the way he looks at me.... How he talks... He is also a total romantic.. much like myself, so it's been going really good! I'm hoping we'll get to see eachother again next week.

But I never thought I'd ever get into a romantic relationship... if I'm being honest

Don't read on if you're easily triggered by mental health issues and/or sexual themes.

I never intended to be around this long... I was literally planning on ending it all shortly after my 18th birthday... But for some reason... I kept going.. and I'm super happy that I did, otherwise, I wouldn't have ever met my friend and boyfriend.

Seriously...

Things are finally going right for me after so many goddamned years of being alone, isolated unable to find any real connection and incredibly miserable because of it...

I have finally realized I am not unlikeable, I'm not worthless and I can find friends. And for the rest of 2022 and into 2023, I will work as hard as I can to not let my anxiety control me anymore

My next big leap comes in November. I will be looking for my first job!

And here comes the part where I gush about my boyfriend

I now have this dream now where I'm settling down with my boyfriend.... we move into a little apartment in one of the cities nearby (in fact that dream could very well come true... because we both want to go to the same city for college) and we settle into a peaceful domestic life together.... hopefully with cats!

Ok... but like honestly this guy is literally the one I've been dreaming of. He's very attractive and emotionally available, and he doesn't judge me for who I am! I neglected to mention here, but I have discovered that I am agender and my pronouns are they/them... I live in probably one of the most conservative provinces in Canada and to make it worse, I'm in a small town with like 4 churches of the same exact brand of extremely homophobic and transphobic Christianity... I fully expected him to lose interest in me. But no, It hasn't affected how he thinks of me. and he is very careful to respect my pronouns...

He's also very funny (which I really love in people... I can't be around someone who is super serious all the time) I mean... when I last saw him on Monday, we were at my place, playing around (in an adult sort of way) and he discovered my toys

One of them had a suction cup at the base, so he goes and sticks it on the wall a few times... then he sticks it on his forehead looks at me and says "I'm dildo man" we laugh about it together.... and he goes to pull it off his face only to discover it has suctioned pretty hard to his face, so I help him by wedging my finger under the suction cup and lifting it off...

and HE HAS A BIG ASS BRUISE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS FOREHEAD... We're still laughing our asses off... me almost pissing myself with laughter as we frantically search for way to get rid of bruises and hickeys online... we try the fork method, icing it... everything we can do, nothing works.. so we decide to just take a bath to clean up before my parents get home from a trip they were on (at this point my parents don't know we've had sex... and I wasn't exactly ready to tell them) While we're in the bath, my parents get home and my dad calls out to me... I fucking panic and we get out and dress at breakneck speed.

My parents brought home some takeout and my boyfriend stayed for dinner... he met my mom for the first time... but damn... coming downstairs after that was... super awkward... but thankfully my parents aren't the type to be bothered by that kind of thing, all they needed to know was that we used protection (which we did ofc)

It's funny though, he really gets along well with my dad.. Maybe it's their sense of humour. Or maybe the fact they are both quite talkative..

But damn.....

This guy is special.. and I hope we last for years, decades... life even...

And done.. Sorry about all that.. just had to write this all down somewhere.. It's really hard to contain my happiness right now.

[fantastic-bby]

Take Me Home

Pairing: Reader x Wooyoung

Word count: 1.6k

Genre: Angst | Exes to lovers

Summary: Wooyoung sits at a bar, getting drunk while all he wants is for you to take him back home

Warnings: Alcohol consumption | Swearing

A/n: So… I may have listened to Take Me Home about a bajillion times since the album was released and… this happened

P.s I’m reposting this bcs Tumblr’s being homophobic and the tags were scuffed FeelsWeirdMan

Masterlist

Wooyoung hasn’t felt this lonely since right after you left him. The darkness that shrouds his mind is something that has refused to leave him alone for almost the past two years, but it hadn’t been this bad in a while. It’s bad enough that he feels like he struggles to breath as he sits at the bar, a glass of whiskey in one hand and his phone in the other. Wooyoung’s thumb hovers over your contact, his mind battling with his heart as he painfully contemplates calling you.

He’s slightly drunk, it’s obvious that he’s at least tipsy, but he’s still sober enough to know how much he fucking misses you. Wooyoung clenches his jaw, teeth grinding together as he locks his phone and places it down onto the bar; the glass of whiskey making it to his lips as he downs it.

“Another one?” the pink haired bartender questions, an eyebrow raising. Wooyoung gives him a look before pulling a few bills out of his pocket and placing it onto the counter. “This would be your fifth glass of the night, man.”

“I don’t care,” Wooyoung sighs, “just pour me another.” The bartender purses his lips before obliging. Wooyoung isn’t dangerously intoxicated to the point where he would need to get involved, so he serves him.

“You wanna talk about it?” the man asks as he pours the alcohol into the empty glass.

Wooyoung contemplates it. Why would he be telling a complete stranger about why he feels like such a piece of shit? Then again, it’s not like he’s even spoken to anyone about it. He sighs before admitting, “I’m thinking I should call my ex.” The bartender gives him a look as he slides the glass back to him.

“It’s not exactly my business, but how dangerous would that be?”

“Well,” he sighs as he thinks about it, “I would either be getting blocked or slapped in the face.” Wooyoung lets out a bitter chuckle as he swirls the whiskey around in the glass. “I fucked up and now I’m alone. Every time I think about them, I feel like I’m suffocating while I spiral down this never ending hole.”

“Have you spoken to them since the break up?” The bartender asks as he starts wiping down a spot on the counter right beside Wooyoung that was previously occupied by someone else.

He shakes his head, “never mustered up the courage to do so.” He brings the glass to his lips and takes a sip, embracing the burn in his throat because he feels like he deserves it. “I was an asshole. I know I fucked up, but I just want to talk to them at least once more. Just to tell them I’m sorry.” Wooyoung feels like he might have a full on breakdown right in front of the bartender, who he assumes is San because that’s what it says on his name tag. He feels his chest tightening like it usually does whenever he thinks of you. “I just want to take back every shitty thing I did to them. They didn’t deserve any of it.”

“Have they ever tried reaching out?” San further questions, his hand halting for a moment.

“The last time I spoke to them, they looked so… cold towards me. The last time I had actually seen them, it looked like they just wanted to get away from me.” The memory is fresh in Wooyoung’s mind. You had stood in the apartment you shared, hands clenched into fists as you glared at him and your entire body trembling with rage. He felt like your eyes were the reason he felt so frozen, but he couldn’t cry in front of you no matter how hard the tears were trying to force their way out. Wooyoung realised a little too late that he was hurting you. There was nothing else he could do and staying with you would just destroy you. “I…” Wooyoung trails off when he feels his eyes starting to sting with tears, “I think it’s better that I stay away from them.”

“How long has it been?”

“At this point,” he pauses to look at the date on his phone, “almost two years. It’s almost been two years and all I can do is think about them. No matter how many people I sleep with or how many people I try dating, all I can think about is (Y/n).” Wooyoung looks at his phone, still battling the thought of calling you. San watches as Wooyoung slowly starts to space out, only able to wonder just how much regret clouds his mind and heart.

“I think,” San speaks up for a moment, his voice snapping Wooyoung out of his thoughts, “the best thing you should do is stop drinking before you end up doing something you may regret, head on home and get some rest.” The younger man snorts at that.

“I don’t know how I could feel more regret than I already do,” he says as he finishes his glass and slides it towards San. “But I do think I should probably head home. Thanks for the talk.”

“No problem, man. Next time you come here around this time, just ask for San. I’ll serve you.” He gives Wooyoung a smile as he takes the used glass off of the counter. “Have a good night…”

“Wooyoung.”

San nods, “have a good night, Wooyoung.”

“You too, San.” He gives the bartender a half smile as he slides off of the barstool, turning around and freezing in his tracks. Wooyoung’s eyes widen when they meet yours and you’re staring at him with the same amount of disbelief. “(Y-Y/n). What are you doing here?”

“I…” you trail off as your mind registers the fact that Wooyoung’s standing right in front of you, “I just wanted to get a drink.”

“Long day?” Wooyoung questions, his voice cracking and making it more awkward than it already is.

You make a mental note of his voice crack and nod. “I got off work a while ago and I—uhh—didn’t feel like going home just yet.” Home. Home is you, Wooyoung thinks but he shoves the thought down with the rest of his feelings. You’re right in front of him. Where’s the apology that’s replayed in his head over and over again for the past year?

“(Y/n), can—could we talk for a bit?” he musters out. “I-It’s been a while. Maybe we could catch up?” Wooyoung wants you to accept his offer so badly. Even if he gets just a few moments, just a few minutes, it’ll be enough.

“I don’t know, Woo…” you trail off when the memory of your last meeting flashes across your mind.

“Please?” If his words aren’t enough, it’s his eyes that do it for you. They look so empty, so desperate,

So lonely.

“Okay.” You take a deep breath as you nod, fearing whatever would come next.

“I want,” Wooyoung gulps. Why is this so difficult?! “I want to say that I’m sorry.” His words come out slowly, but after they’re out, he gains more courage. “I want to say that I’m sorry. For everything. I treated you like shit and I know you deserve so much more, but I just wanted to apologise.” You stay quiet, letting his words linger in your mind. Your relationship with Wooyoung was toxic and you would admit that in a heartbeat. But that way he looks at you now, so lost, your heart can’t help but crack at the sight of him. You’ve spent the time away from him healing from the break up, but you wouldn’t deny that you still love him. Wooyoung was—is—everything to you.

“Wooyoung,” your heart aches even more at the way he looks so scared of your answer. “I forgive you.” He lets out a breath that he didn’t realise he was holding, shoulders relaxing slightly. “I don’t think I ever really got rid of you. No matter how many times I’d spring clean my apartment and throw away things that reminded me of you, I think I’m still too in love with you to throw you away.” Wooyoung doesn’t know how to feel. Should he be happy that you’re still in love with him or should he feel terrible that you’ve been hurting this entire time? “And I know that you struggle with things like this—especially talking about feelings—but I hope that we can move on from this feeling okay.”

“Move on?” he speaks before he thinks and immediately regrets it right after. You blink a few times before your lips part in realisation.

“Woo…”

“(Y/n), I love you.” Wooyoung feels every inch of himself starting to break as he takes a few steps closer to you, arms open, body trembling. “I love you so much,” his voice starts breaking when he hesitates to hug you. When you pull him into the hug, whatever wall he’s set up goes crumbling to the ground. “I love you so much. I’ve missed you so much—I’m so sorry. Please give me another chance,” Wooyoung’s words come out jumbled, mumbles of apologies and confessions just pouring out of his mouth like a broken faucet as you hold onto you. You cry when you feel his wet cheek burying against your shoulder. You’ve missed the feeling of him—you’ve missed Wooyoung.

“I’ve missed you too,” you confess as you allow yourself to mold against him. “I love you.”

“Please take me home,” he sobs. “P-Please, (Y/n).”

“I’ll drive you back—”

“No,” Wooyoung cuts you off and you feel his nose nuzzling against your neck. “I-I wanna try again, (Y/n). Give me another chance, please.“ You pull away to look into his glossed over eyes pooled with tears that stream down his face. “Please take me home—home to you. I-I’ll be better. I promise.” You take a deep breath as you thread your hand through his blond streaked hair before nodding.

“Okay.”

[craziestfangirl98]

My thoughts on Love, Victor season 2 cause I have too many feelings and I need to talk about it.

Disclaimer No. 1. This has massive Love, Victor season 2 spoilers so pleaseeeee leave if you have not watched it. Also if you do not want to engage with it.

Disclaimer No. 2: This is my opinion on the season so if you don't agree please leave. Don't come for me. I don't mind having proper discussions but I don't want unnecessary arguments so thanks.

There are a lot of unpopular opinions so as I said earlier if you don't want to be respectful, please leave.

I absolutely adoooooooored this season. I think it met its potential quite well and I liked how it panned out. I felt it was brilliantly done. I know a lot of people don't agree with me but I actually saw that it was gonna be an acquired liking but yeah.

THIS POST WILL BE GETTING TO THE MORE MAJOR PARTS OF THE SEASON. MEANING VICTOR, RAHIM, BENJI AND VENJI.

Let's start with individual breakdowns.

Right of the bat we see that this season is gonna deal with Victor with the rest of the world. The first season was very internal and dealt with his own stuff in his own head. We very minutely see his interaction with different people and how that internally affects him. This season was more of how the outward world dealt with him. His intersectionality of being a Queer POC that plays sport really adds to the discussions within the queer community and the sense of being outcasted within the community. I liked how he was able to talk to Andrew about the whole being 'the most non gay gay' and also not being 'gay enough'. It was really nice and I loved that interaction. I also liked the fact that they discussed the whole aspect of being stressed about the first time and such.

I liked the full cabin sequence in terms of his anxiety about having sex for the first time. That too with an experienced gay. It all just makes sense and makes me glad that it was addressed.

I loved him as the 'mentor' for Rahim and the fact that they could relate to each other about being POC with religious parents I think was the exact push needed for the discussions to move forward.

I think his conversation about his queer experience as a POC with Rahim was something I have been waiting for since the first season. He definitely should not have revealed Benji's secrets without talking to him and that was a mistake on his part and something that will affect Venji in a long while. But the fact that Rahim and Victor relied on each other was not surprising.

I am going to address the rest of the aspects of Victor with regards to his relationships with each of them after their individual breakdown.

Now moving forward to Benji.

I know its gonna be a hard truth but I think his character was the one that I liked the least. And this is specific to the fact that his motivations are hidden from us. He is not really open to talk to us (through victor). I had the same problem with him in the first season and was hoping he would be fleshed out more. We only see him as an extension to Victor and just his boyfriend. Even then, we barely see him communicating with Victor or anybody else all through the time. Also, that being said, I have seen a lot of people say he was OOC but I think he was actually not really OOC. The way he reacts to Victor's mom's reactions although they come from a place of wanting better for Victor, he doesn't really think twice about why Victor must not be reacting or doing so subtly. He feels very unsympathetic on many occasions and that is a pattern we see from season 1.

I'm not saying he didn't have any troubles of his. Cause he definitely did. We know that with the drunken driving episode and the AA meetings and the strip club story. They were all awful, but that doesn't excuse him from trying to understand where Victor is coming from. Maybe having a little more context and communication about him would make us understand him and his motivations better.

This season specifically, I actually found him to be very token-ish of a gay guy which is weird because it has two other gay characters (or 5 based on the multiple cameos).

Now getting to Rahim.

I LOVED HIM. He is, I think right behind Victor in my heart. I fell in love with him barely minutes into the episode. His coming out retelling was the most wholesome of all things. I loved the friendship Pilar and him shared. I'm surprised we didn't get a scene with Pilar teasing him about his crush on Victor but I think that was because the writers didn't want to make it obvious. I felt he had a character of his own that was explored more than just coming in between the main couple. The one episode where they skip school we found out more about him and it was intriguing to say the least.

He is a Muslim gay boy who likes to put nail polish and fashion and believes that his parents will not accept him. It is soo refreshing to see this theory get denied and the parents being completely okay with it. Next, Victor and him have an interesting relationship between the two. When victor needs his mind to be taken off of things or talk to, Rahim does just that and when Rahim needs some advice or just some support Victor does that.

NOW VENJI.....

I think this is again... a little unpopular right now, but... their relationship was not that great this season. And I.... kinda expected that to happen. That is for multiple reasons. They spent 50% of their time making out, 40% of it fighting and 10% communicating. Were they flawed? Absolutely and I get that. They had massive miscommunication problems. Trust issues and everything under the moon. It is to be expected especially cause they are teenagers and they are not mature enough. That being said, flaws are not when you are dismissive of your boyfriend's issues because he doesn't fit your ideal gay stereotype. Flaws are not when you say your boyfriend is too much for you to handle and say something like you are the only one taking care of them. That's manipulation. Flaws are not when you don't realise that the context your boyfriend comes from is very specific to himself and if you want to do better you need to be open to listen to where he is coming from instead of getting offended by him saying you are white when you don't get the specifics. You need to understand that by saying you are white, he is not dismissing your experience with alcohol addiction and with your father taking you to strip clubs and shit. He is just saying you don't get where I am coming from. The reason I say I saw it coming is because even in season 1 we see Benji go ahead with what he wants to do instead of thinking about the consequences. Case in point the kiss on Victor's birthday. Victor told Benji that his grandparents are homophobic and still he kisses Derek. Because it is fiction and a teen drama the consequences weren't dire and it came to be a growth point for Victor but just imagine if the consequences were different. If it ended up being something worse, what then. I feel this season we are especially able to see Benji out of the rose tinted glasses that Victor had last season.

That being said I admit that Victor was also not entirely good. He did breach Benji's trust. I don't see how they can go back from there. He didn't communicate from his side as well, but just think of it like this if someone says you are too much to handle would their partner actually be willing to communicate what's bothering them?

The things about Isabelle walking on sex. If it was my house anything remotely sexual, irrespective of the gender would have been met with shame and anger just as Isabelle did. They are 16. The little brother was right next door. In any way whether it is straight sex or gay sex it would still have been met this way I feel.

So yeah as much as they are supposed to be the main star couple of the show they lack in almost every aspect. So yeah...

Now coming to VICTOR X RAHIM

Straight off the bat, I don't know if I watched the same season that others did because I actually felt the chemistry between them was actually more than Venji had in scenes other than the make out ones.

Also, they come from similar backgrounds. They understand each other much better than any white dude could ever understand them. They actually talk and communicate.

Rahim and Victor on the other hand are both new to this whole being gay, out and proud thing and I feel they would understand each other better. I think a big problem people have with them is that the writers fall back on the love triangle trope and stuff but I like it in this instance. It made sense to me.

Why? Because they are teenagers. Also, the gay pool in schools are so small and people are bound to explore. Like Victor said, what are the odds that you end up with the first person you start dating?

Also, regarding the wedding. Benji said he would not come, so I don't think he has the right to question who he came with. It was completely innocent on Victor's part because he did invite Pilar first. I guess it is the whole first slow dance that was the betrayal and as much as their chemistry was palpable I feel Benji should have allowed to here him out. I don't know maybe you all feel different about it but I feel that is not a betrayal on Victor's part. What could have been a betrayal was the kiss. I know it is once again a repeat of the cheating stereotype and I had hoped that the showrunner's did it a bit differently but well it has happened. (But again the chemistry in that kiss!!!)

What do I want to happen next. I definitely ship Victor x Rahim more than Victor x Benji. I would love for it to be Rahim behind the door but it feels unlikely that the showrunners will actually do that so my hope is even if they get together, Benji and Victor realise just how much they don't fit with each other and break up amicably and then Victor x Rahim gets explored and slow burn happens.

I don't want Victor to be the only one apologising if Venji do get together again. For whatever small amount of time. I need them to communicate better.

So yeah..... this was long and what I thought of the main portions of Love, Victor. It's really ironic how people love everyone other than Victor in a story about him and care for all the stories other than him.

[zaney-hacknslash]

If I may.

I've been an atheist for about seven years now, was raised Christian, and came from a relatively misogynistic, homophobic environment (I agree with the other guy that slinging the word trauma around is a bad idea, but I also spent a lot of my childhood praying for God to turn me straight, so I definitely get that sense of oppression from religion).

When I first became an atheist, I was pretty pissed off, and I felt pretty adamant about my new beliefs. It was very encouraging and enlightening and dare I say empowering to connect with other atheists who were also pissed off.

But the problem was, my family is still full of religion. In fact, almost all of my friends are religious. So, I had a choice: raise hell, abandon everyone, or try to learn to live with them.

Here is the unavoidable fact of life, Anon. We choose anger, we choose hate, we choose disrespect, we choose to be unkind.

You don't have to be any of those things, and you will be happier if you choose not to be.

That's not to say it's easy. I had to sit at my own grandfather's funeral and listen to the pastor talk about how the godless are a waste of air. My mother tells me all the time that gays are possessed by demons. I hold my tongue out of respect.

My siblings are the only members of my family who know I'm an atheist.

Fortunately, my siblings and I love each other. My religious friends and I love each other. And I try my best to respect those people's views, because it doesn't matter how they treat me; what matters is who I am choosing to become in this life; what matters is how I conduct myself.

There may be times when you'll have to set boundaries. Often at work, I have to say, "hey, I don't believe in that, and I don't really want to talk about this," but it will be an exhausting and thankless battle to try and argue every time a religious person speaks up. It will be debilitating to your social life to operate under the assumption that religious people are stupid and only other atheists are worth talking to.

The fact is, religions have contributed a lot of pain to our world, but they've also contributed elements of peace and beauty. There are good religious people just like there are some real nasty atheists. There are assholes in every group.

So, you need to think about who you want to be. Will you be another asshole? Drive people away? Or will you do your best to grow into a person you can feel proud of? It's okay if you're angry for a while, and it's okay if you can't hold your tongue every single time, but the best thing you can do is to practice. Try to consider your words and actions. Bear in mind that other people's perception of the human condition don't have to define yours and that it's good to have people in your life whom you can respectfully differ from in ideology and opinion. Look for opportunities to define your own point of view and to learn. Use the opportunity to practice establishing boundaries and hold them.

Most importantly, don't let yourself start to dehumanize groups of people you disagree with. There are many reasons for individuals to follow a religion or adhere to spirituality, and they often have more to do with hope and peace of mind than an active will to oppress others. Rather than look for reasons to divide, I have found that pursuing common ground, hearing people out, and accepting people for who they are is what keeps my life rich and full. There will always be the people in my life and even in my own family I can't trust or who don't really know me, but that's okay, because there are people who love me the way I am--and most of them are religious.

You're so young, and sadly, the world we've made you so far is very full of dissonance. I hope that as you go forward with your new worldview, you'll learn how to stand your ground, but don't forget--that doesn't mean you have to be at odds with everyone who thinks something different from you. You can choose to be loving, compassionate, and kind.

I saw you went from militant atheist to agnostic. I'm seeking advice as a 17-year-old agnostic who is still upset with religion. I'll try to articulate it to the best of my ability.

How do you respect people's religion? I have some form of religious trauma (raised Protestant), and leaving it was very hard for me. I'm done with religion, but I was very angry for a while. I've mostly moved away from the Anger Phase, but I still, feel annoyed.

For example, when religious people oppose and demonize homosexuality (no wokeness, by the way), it annoys me. I don't think there is an objective reason why homosexuality should be seen as sinful/evil, and bringing up nature doesn't mean anything. It's frustrating that they're willing to die on that hill to please a God they can't see and to adhere to some book dogmatically.

I don't have an incentive not to hate religion. After all, the environment that I'm in (friends and school peers) has normalized it. But I'm starting to realize that it's not worth it, and I want to be indifferent to the lifestyle choices of others. How can I achieve that?

First off I'd look at the term "religious trauma" and evaluate if it's accurate. Did being raised Protestant actually traumatize you in the legit, phycological sense? Or did you just have an unpleasant upbringing because you didn't identify with or support the religion you were being taught? I don't know which it is, but one thing that everyone should learn is perspective. Not every bad thing is traumatizing. In fact, most aren't. Trauma is a very real, very serious thing. If people go around labeling non-traumatic things as traumatic, it can make you react worse to something that really isn't that bad.

But aside from all that, the best advice I can give you is you need to learn that what someone else believes has nothing to do with you. You are never going to convince the religious to give up their religion. In fact, if you try, you're just going to make them dig in further. Don't try to burden yourself with the need to "enlighten" the religious. It's pointless. And all it does is lead to frustration, anger, and hate on both sides. Some people are always going to believe things you don't believe. And as long as they aren't pushing those beliefs on you, it shouldn't effect you at all. You don't need to like those people or hang around those people. It's perfectly okay to keep them at arms length. And this goes for anyone you don't get along with. Instead of getting angry, learn to just roll your eyes internally whenever someone starts going on about things you find silly or stupid. Change the subject, or think about something else, or walk away if you can. You don't owe anybody your time or your attention, especially if they're being rude by preaching to you when you don't want to be preached to.

The thing about religion is that everyone interacts with it in a different way. Yes, some use it to bully others and justify their hatreds or their bad actions. But many more use it as a guiding light in their life. They take comfort from the idea that some all powerful being exists and loves them. They take comfort from the idea that their loved ones who have passed away are in a place of perfect happiness and are waiting for them to join them. How do we deal with our own inevitable death? A lot of people believe that something better is waiting for them on the other side. Or that we get reborn into a better live if we live well in this one. Or that we'll become part of the spirit of the Earth. Or that there's nothing after death, and some find comfort in that, too. Humans have always dealt with the unknown by telling stories and trying to understand things that don't have an easy explanation. Some of us turn to science. Some to religion. Some to philosophy. Some to other things. Some to all things. Just because someone chooses a different path towards understanding doesn't automatically make them wrong.

And if you want a scientific reason for benign agnosticism over militant atheism, in an infinite universe like the one we supposedly live in, anything that can happen will happen. Because even if something has a 0.000000000001% chance of happening, 0.000000000001% is still more than zero, and if you roll the dice an infinite number of times, eventually every result will come up, and more than once, too. If it's at all possible that a God, or Gods, exist, then they exist. Or have existed. Or will exist. What we don't know vastly outweighs what we do know. And it always will. We will never be able to explore even 1% of the observable universe. To me, that's one of the saddest things I've ever heard. I cope with that sadness by hoping that one day, humans will discover a way to break what we now call the laws of physics and learn how to build faster than light hyperdrives, or create wormholes, so we can explore more than what we think we'll be able to. I have a kind of faith that humanity will go beyond what modern science says we can achieve. Have you ever had similar beliefs that fly in the face of all accepted logic? Or do you only believe things that other people tell you is true? I really hope it's the former. And if it is, then that feeling of faith is what the religious feel about God. It's a commonality believers and non-believers have. So that can be a starting point to understanding the religious and how they think. It might even be a starting point to finding some common ground with the ones who aren't super zealous.

As for the "gay being a sin", thing, I do agree with you. Despite the sometimes abhorrent actions of the so-called "gay community", the act of being attracted to your own gender is no more inherently evil than being attracted to redheads, or blondes, or people with glasses. My logical brain tells me that any system of beliefs would reflect the times those beliefs came to be in. Back when Judaism was created, which is the foundation for Christianity and Islam, the Jews were going through hard times. I can easily see how, in a small, persecuted population that had already experienced slavery and violence by the time of Moses, the act of homosexuality would be potentially dangerous. If more men are laying with men instead of laying with women and procreating, then one day there might not be any more Jews. Especially if they keep getting killed and exiled every time they try to settle somewhere. So those Old Testament passages about homosexuality make more sense, from a secular, historical perspective, if you think of it that way. In addition to that, there have been literally thousands of religions invented since humanity has existed. They're all different. Even the ones that share a common origin are different. Just ask the Catholics and the Protestants. And we're just one species, on one planet, in a potentially infinite universe. To assume that any one single human religion has gotten everything right seems to be to not only be unrealistic, but massively hubristic. Maybe God exists, but he doesn't care who we fuck. Maybe he cares a lot, but Jesus got him to calm down about it. Maybe Apollo killed God and now the only deity that's still alive wants everyone to be gay. Who knows? We don't. And I think it's pretty silly to get upset when someone else believes something that is, in all probability, at least somewhat wrong.

I don't know of any of this helps you. But when I first got out of my militant atheist phase, thinking about things like this helped me a lot. It made me realize that I was acting just like the religious zealots I hated when I tried to push atheism on everyone and lashed out when they didn't convert. And I think that's the second best piece of advice I can give: Don't become the people you hate, or even the people you dislike. Be better than them. Or at least different. You'll be a lot happier that way. I know I am.

[heavenaintaniceplace]

so i found my mother’s copy of the jw (new world translation) bible and i decided to yoink that shit for disposal but not before i realized there is a lot of lines highlighted in the book from when she was being manipulated by the jw lady that convinced her to do “bible study” for years. and what do you know if the lines the lady had my mother highlight weren’t the same lines that jws use to justify their cult beliefs! all the lines are cherry picked, no actual study, just the lady manipulating and priming her to accept their beliefs by presenting so called “biblical proof.” so here is some of the things that stand out before i finally rip this thing to shreds and through it away.

literally the whole book replaces every instance of the tetagrammaton with “jehovah” because they want people to believe its been “removed from the bible thousands of times because they don’t want you to know the true name of god”. the whole thing is translated with an agenda to make them look right and everyone else wrong and to make people believe they have some secret hidden knowledge (they don’t they’re liars). putting this under a read more because its very long.

heavy TW for everything related ro religious trauma, the jehovah’s witnesses, bible passages and christianity. incredibly long post. i plan on burning the jehovah’s witness copy of the bible, no joke.

the imago dei part of genesis to try and convince her that humans were super special to god

genesis chapter 3, the serpent convincing eve to eat the fruit of knowledge so that she would accept their version of the original sin doctrine and that women are cursed

chapter where cain kills abel to convince her that this was the first murder in human history (obviously incorrect)

highlighted the part where god kills everything on earth with a flood to groom her into expecting god to do it again later and seen as fair and just and part where god “gives” noah every living creature (because fuck other organisms apparently)

part of leviticus where (in their version) theyre like “no soul must eat blood” (what the fuck) to justify not allowing life saving blood transfusions

deuteronomy part about “jehovah being one” to justify being non trinitarian (they don’t believe jesus is god or that the holy spirit is god, this is meant to lure people who are already christians away from their denoms and into theirs)

“thou shall not kill” is highlighted for some reason and i don’t know why

highlighted job 1:12 to emphasize that they believe satan is in control of the world because god allows it and job 26:7 that has a note saying “the earth hangs there” when talking about sheol to convince her of where earth is relative to “heaven” and using a bunch of “face of the waters” creationist language to make it vague as possible. job 27:5 to make her believe that “no one is righteous” and that saying so is sinful

part in psalms that assures that “wicked people will be no more if you just wait a little while longer” (this is the apocalypse imminent narrative they use to groom people with fear of dying or leaving but also to get them warmed up to the idea of mass death). “the righteous will inherit the earth and live forever” narrative so they believe that jws will live on earth forever after being resurrected while everyone else (whos not a jw) is killed by god

psalms 91 to drive home the fact that these people think theyre invincible in every meaning of the word, to natural disasters and disease etc

proverbs 6 part about “false witnesses”. jws believe that three jehovah’s witnesses have to be present to verify that a crime (like domestic or sexual abuse) actually happened or the governing body and elders don’t care. literally. the “false witness” narrative is used against survivors and people they want to silence in their organization and emphasizes how much jehovah hates “false witnesses” aka people brave enough to talk and victims

proverbs 12:18 about “wise and unwise tongues”, basically anyone that speaks out against the jws are “unwise” and harmful

proverbs 22 about raising children (”train up a child”, if you don’t know it already this is a child abuser dog whistle) that implies that indoctrination will last until adulthood if done right. this is especially bad because this copy is from the early 2000s when i was in kindergarten. this woman had been lurking on us since i was an infant.

proverbs 27 about how neighbors near is better than brothers far away. the implication here is that fundamentally family who aren’t jws don’t matter

ecclesiates 5. i genuinely think its warning people to not ask too much of god or risk his anger, thats the vibe im getting here because the wording is confusing as fuck

isiah 40:22 trying to hammer in the notion that god is greater than anything especially “worldly” governments (except the governing body ofc /s). isiah 43:10 the “you are my witnesses” to justify the name “jehovah’s witnesses” and shoehorn the idea in

daniel 2:40, the idea of an indescribable kingdom, the whole kingdoms in the “last days” conspiracy they use to convince people the “last days” are coming

matthew 4:8 where jesus is persuaded by satan by offering every kingdom on earth. the point in text is “don’t worship anyone except god” but the point of the jws is that nothing on earth actually matters

matthew 6:9 (nice), the our father, meant to make the reader to ask god to hasten the kingdom of god or as we ex-jws know hasten the apocalypse and the death of people they dont like

matthew 16:24, meant to convince people to leave everything behind and join the jws, “disown yourself” aka “die to yourself” toxic bullshit repackaged

matthew 19:9, to convince people that divorce even in instances of domestic abuse is wrong because the governing body won’t allow it and loves to control women

matthew 24:4-14, “anyone who doesnt speak for the jws is a false prophet” and warms people up to the notion that war is necessary; also that evidence of war is a sign of the “last days” and that this is supposed to be good news. ongoing war and the hope for global genocide is “good news” to them.

matthew 24:21. this one is meant to make people feel the apocalypse could happen at any time and to be afraid of it, a great war is coming and only the “chosen ones” (jehovah’s witnesses) will survive when everyone else dies. there’s a paper bookmark on this page. makes me wonder.

mark 8:34. the “die to yourself” bullshit, the idea that the cross was a “torture stake” because jws believe that wearing crosses is idolatry and they want other people to believe their quirky beliefs so they accept heavier things

matthew 10:28, “anyone who follows jehovah and jesus will literally live forever!” but also that “no one is prepared to leave their family for jesus and thats shameful because you should want to sacrifice your entire family!”

mark 11:24 “anything you pray for earnestly you get”. this is spiritual bypassing btw. and :25 “ask for forgiveness and be automatically forgiven no matter what you did” is also fucked

matthew 15-23: jesus (almost) gets wasted while being crucified etc, not sure why this one is highlighted unless im missing some jw bullshit here

luke 20:27. don’t understand this one but they’re threatening “heavier judgement” on people

john 5:28, promising resurrection through jesus after people die but only for the Good tm people (the jws)

john 6:15. how jesus is about to be arrested but goes to a mountain. dunno why this on is underlined

john 11:24. bringing home the same “jesus will save you from dying if youre a jw” bullshit. john 14:6 “jesus is the ONLY way ever! there can’t be anything else except jesus” indoctrination tailored to make you co-dependent. john 17:3, hook line and sinker of promising resurrection and “eternal life” again

john 17:15. here is the “we aren’t of the World tm” shit meant to make you feel outcast from everyone else who isnt a jw, setting up “the world” (everyone else) as other

acts 15:25. “follow the jw rules because the holy spirit you to”

romans 10:10, spread jw beliefs and witness as much as possible. romans 12:9 “hate everything jehovah hates so you’re not a hypocrite” basically means hate other people the jws don’t approve of

corinthians 6:9 (nice but not so nice this time) “anyone we don’t like won’t inherit the earth” translation: anyone we don’t like won’t survive the apocalypse thats definitely happening soon so always be afraid. “homosexuals” are changed to “men kept for unnatural purposes for this one.” still homophobic.

corinthians 7:6, the idea that everyone has a gift that needs to be exploited and used by the jws

corinthians 15:33. “don’t participate in any activities with any outsiders because it will lead you away from jehovah!! fun is ‘drunkenness’, you’ll loose your resurrection if you do!! non jw people are bad influences!!”

2 corinthians 7:1. your body and flesh is defiled, you need to be cleansed in order to be good

galatians 5:20. “having human emotions is sinful! struggling is sinful! being angry is sinful! having a bad day is sinful!” basically that being human is inherently wrong or something

ephesians  3:14. tries to make people believe everything is owed to god only and that obedience is good so they fall for cult power structures later. 4:28 here is just the top of the page being labeled “new personality” and thats all we need to know about indoctrination and cult personality vs actual personality. also “let not the sun set with you in a provoked state” being used against people still angry about being wronged and hurt by others and its been used against me a lot of times

ephesians 6:4. make sure the jw fathers provide the most discipline to children, literally uses the phrase “mental regulating of jehovah”. it couldn’t be more cult like at this point.

timothy 5:8 makes people believe that men alone are expected to provide and if they don’t they’re worse than “those without faith”. no pressure though!

timothy 6:19. wants people to neglect everything actually happening in favor of the “real life” (”eternal life”) instead and to constantly prepare for that instead of actually living life. dedicate your whole life to jw activities

titus 2. women need to be subjects to their husbands but also homemakers, live to glorify their husband, chaste and definitely not mentally ill or showing any symptoms. what the fuck is titus i never heard of this shit until today.

hebrews 1:7-14, trying to convince people that angels live to serve god but also has some superseccsionist/replacement theology (antisemitism) vibes going on

james 2:23, wants people to believe that god “putting people to the test” is actually a way to become “jehovah’s friend” and that being put to the test (read: suffering) is actually a good thing because it primes them to accept suffering as their fault later on. james 4:7 “everything evil will vanish if you rebuke it long enough!!”

peter 3:9 the “god’s timing is always right” gospel bs and encourages people not to do things themselves but to wait and also that jehovah will be on time when its time to start another global genocide. how encouraging! peter 3:13, the same “end of world near” scare tactic, “new heavens new earth” promise to eradicate everyone the jws dont like as that is jehvoah’s “promise” to the witnesses

1 john 3:8, their version of the original sin doctrine, the devil is the source of all evil scare tactic etc

short detour: every instance of “servant” is replaced with “slave” in this version. it makes me feel ill.

revelations 7:16, wants people to believe that god will take away all their pain and that they won’t need food or water to survive anymore (bullshit). also the jehovah’s witness 144,000 chosen people bullshit is here too but not highlighted

revelations 12:7-13, a depiction fo michael drop kicking satan and the implication that satan has always been in charge and not god because they want people to believe that. also that the devil will fall to earth and try to eat jws

revalations 14-4: virgins get dibs on heaven and god i guess. i dont know what the fuck is going on. 14:6 an angel yelling fear god from above, probably where the jws get most of their apocalyptic imagery from that they use to scare children into believing they could die at any minute

so now that we finally got to the end of that mess, their version of revalations ends with jesus saying “yes, i am coming quickly” and “may the undeserved kindness of jesus christ be with the holy ones.”

joking aside, everything highlighted in this copy of this book has been used against me and my mother for years and is a huge part of the reason i have religious trauma now. everything she was told or encouraged to highlight aided jehovah’s witness indoctrination and propaganda, her own indoctrination and eventually mine which apparently started even earlier than i thought.

[backwardscapsmh]

HI TESS I DIDNT JNOW YOU WERE TAKING PROMPTS maybaps some gay hockey dads + smh not knowing theyre together or something along those lines🥰

yep!! and i love writing gay hockey dad fic (this one is not going to be angsty i swear) so thanks annie! i hope u like it! 🥰💕

Samwell was known to be a welcoming and safe environment for LGBT students. The “1 in 4″ rule didn’t exist for no reason. Still, it was hard to change decades of homophobic and toxic hockey culture in the locker room. But Hall and Murray try anyway.

After all, they were young queer athletes once. The constant, lips sealed, eyes down, don’t touch, don’t stare, don’t draw attention was their mantra. Keep your mouth shut because no one can know. Any hope of NHL stardom and acceptance from other players would disintegrate as soon as any rumors started and you didn’t say “God no! Gross!” fast enough.  So they try. Try to make sure they never even hear a whisper of anything homophobic. Try to make sure players feel safe at the rink. Try to make sure that players know they can be who they are without fear. Try to let them know they can breathe and just exist. They try to protect their students in a way that they needed when they played.  But it’s still hockey, and they live in a heteronormative society so none of the boys actually notice the small pride flag in their office. None of them see the matching wedding rings (which to be fair are pretty small but still). None of them seem to realize that they’re together, in love, married.  So it becomes a game: how many times can we be gay in front of our students (while remaining professional) without them realizing? As it turns out, a lot.

_/ \_

The game itself started when they ran into Bitty at the Whole Foods a whole 25 minute drive from Samwell, which usually doesn’t have blond baking hockey players who can’t drive. Lord knows how Bitty got there to begin with.  They’re not being very subtle if they’re being completely honest. Murray is definitely wearing Hall’s shirt (not that Bitty would know that) and they’re standing way too close for professional colleagues to be standing. Never mind the fact that they are clearly grocery shopping together, which implies a certain living situation. But in their defense, they usually don’t see any students from Samwell at a Whole Foods that is a 25 minute drive from campus.

“Oh goodness!” Bitty says cheerfully upon seeing them in the flour isle. “Hello!”

“Hello Eric,” Hall replies smoothly, as if him and Murray were not internally freaking out about seeing Eric Bittle at Whole Foods on 7 pm on a Saturday night.

“Hey Bittle,” Murray adds, raising a hand in greeting. “No big plans this Saturday?”  “Oh no. I’m here to find a specific type of flour for a new project I’m trying out!” Bitty says absentmindedly, scanning labels on the shelf before them. “Ah! Here it is! Well, I’d better get going. See you at practice!”

And then he’s gone.  “Do you think he noticed?” Hall asks turning to Murray.

“Nah, he still hasn’t figured out that Jack’s into him yet,” Murray laughs, taking a package of flour from the shelf. “And we’re getting whole wheat flour this week Haller, you can’t argue with me.”

And thus, the game begins.

They run into Dex and Nursey at Annie’s one day and they’re definitely holding hands at the time. Dex and Nursey seem too busy trying to not make it look like they’re on a date themselves to notice the fact that their coaches are on one.

Jack walks in on them having an argument on whose turn it is to make dinner that night in their office once. He doesn’t seem to notice the topic of discussion because he’s too busy pulling out his play book from his bag.

Shitty completely misses it when Murray accidentally lets it slip that he has a husband when Shitty starts complaining about playing Harvard and their “homophobic douche-ery.”  Ransom and Holster witness Hall slide an arm around Murray’s waist when they walk towards the Dartmouth locker room. Ransom simply comments that “it’s nice that their coaches are best friends” before running ahead to catch up with Holster. Hall and Murray just laugh. 

Lardo and Chowder run into them picking up pizza one Friday night. Lardo nods in acknowledgement and Chowder enthusiastically says “hello.” Both of them miss Hall wearing a coaching jacket with “Murray” stitched on the chest. 

As it turns out, no one on the Samwell Men’s Hockey team is remotely aware of their relationship. But the secret comes out eventually.

_/ \_

It’s after a particularly rough game against Boston. Everyone is tired and a little sad because of the loss. There were a few rough hits too, so a few people have bruises.

As everyone gets off of the bus, Hall and Murray open the doors to the compartments holding the luggage below the bus.

“Can you handle making sure everyone gets their luggage out? Because if so I can grab Larissa and go get keys for everyone,” Murray says after the doors are completely opened.  “For sure. Thanks honey,” Hall says grabbing their shared bag and handing it to Murray, absentmindedly kissing Murray on the cheek as he does so.

“Uhm.”

“Huh?!”

“What the fuck?!”

“How?”

“When?!”

Both coaches turn, met with the shocked faces of the entire Samwell Men’s Hockey team.

[nypmphetsbastard]

PARADIS ISLAND

Genre: slowburn fanfiction, college!au

Pairing: yelena x fem!reader

Summary: college becomes a whirlpool of new people and emotions once you meet a woman by the name of yelena manages to weasel her way into your once perfect life and tear down everything you ever thought to be true. From religious views to friendship, she builds something new. Now, she introduces you to new world she likes to call Paradis Island.

Warnings: angst, smut, hurt/comfort, struggles with Religion, homophobic comments/people

A/N: this story is posted on ao3 {NYMPHETSBASTARD} as well as wattpad {SUGACODED} because wattpad is acting a fool and I need another place to save this story👍

————

Leaving home was always a rough time for both parent and child. Anybody who grew up in a loving home tended to stick to that home like glue, not wanting to separate from it and instead choosing to go to schools and jobs closer to home, closer to family. Those without however, preferred their freedom. When the clock struck 12 and everybody went to sleep was the only time they'd have to themselves, the only time they'd ever have to feel safe and relaxed — leaving home wasn't as hard on them.

You...well you were a different story. You didn't like a lot of things, being grabbed, having things snatched out of your hands, people taking your food without permission, somebody talking to you when you're clearly trying to avoid them — the list could go on. But growing up leaving you home never seemed to cross your mind. For whatever reason you felt like things were fine at home, not perfect but not terrible either, nine year old you didn't stop to think that one day you'd have to make the decision to move away from your friends and family. The small town you were in had a lot of older people, ones that never separated from their high school popularity phase and believed that the world revolved around them and them only, the others were newly young adults seeking any way out. You hoped you'd be the ladder.

Your parents had never spoken to you about leaving the house, meaning you grew up only learning what was taught in school. World War One and two, Pearl Harbor, slavery, and other shitty thing America did and or went through throughout the course of centuries on end — all only ever learned or discussed in school. The main focus in your household was religion and religion only. It's what you grew up to be right, nothing else existed in your mind besides that.

There was nothing wrong with that. Well...until around the time high school hit. Senior year was the year stressed to you since you were a freshman, you could barley fathom the fact that you'd have to apply for colleges, work on a bunch of different essays and possibly move away when you were young and you could still barley understand it now. But it was only then, then when they had handed you that slip of paper of which colleges you were going to apply to did you realize something; you didn't want to end up in a boring old relationship with a guy from your sophomore geometry class, get married, have a couple of kids that would send you to a nursing home and never live the life you dreamed of having.

You wanted that Disney channel teenage life, teenage adventures that would give you enough memories to last a lifetime and successfully say you lived your life to the fullest. While your teenage years had been spent in a church every weekday, your nose in school books and your bedtime forever stuck at the time 8:30, you swore your adulthood would be different.

Everything would be different.

"Are you sure you're not missing anything, hun?" Your mother asked nervously watching you pack the trunk up with your suitcase and extra bags. You yawned into your hand due to the more than early hours you guys were beginning the trip in order to make it early to your destination.

"You made a list mom, I don't think there's anything I could miss." She smiled your small joke and got in the passenger seat of the car, "You know, you guys really don't have to come. It's nearly a 4 and half hour drive over there, not including the drive back." You mentioned

"We already told you we're going to stop by my mother in laws and stay for a while." Your father explained, you sighed and got into the backseat of the car.

You brought your favorite stuffy and laid your head on it against the window as you prepared yourself for the 4 hour drive from your old childhood home to a new place where new memories could be made. It felt almost nostalgic watching your entire childhood fly by from behind a window. The blue slide you loved going up and down on till you felt like throwing up. The metal pole that always terrified you trying to go down. The monkey bars you taught yourself to climb because of the lack of friends you had that could teach you. It all seemed to disappear behind flashes of trees and road as the car drifted further and further away from the place you called home.

"Morning sunshine! We're here!" Your father exclaimed, waking you out of your slumber. You groaned quietly and rubbed the sleep out of your eyes, taking a moment to look out the window at the large building in front of you. Gawking at the size, you shook your head and stepped out of the car to get a closer look.

"This is much smaller than the one I went to." Mentioned your father, squinting up at the building and helping you pull your suitcase out of the trunk.

"That's because you went to community college, honey." You chuckled at your moms observation and rolled your suitcase up to the sidewalk.

"Well I'll see you guys—" you started until your words were cut off by your mother slapping her hands down on your shoulders and giving you a firm look.

"I better not come visit you in a few months and see you with a purple Mohawk, piercings and a girlfriend, you hear me?" You nodded at her dramatic remarks and felt yourself internally cringe at her words.

"Hopefully we come back to you with a kind little boyfriend and a college degree we can show off to the rest of the family." Your father said, wrapping his arm around his wife's shoulders and gave you a tight lipped smile.

"Call us when you get settled and show us your roommate."

"And if they're anything we told you to not look like or if they smoke, drink or are sexually active in public, please change roommates."

They listed off, you internally rolled your eyes but still managed to give them a nod.

"Okay, I get it. Bye." You waved them off and stayed on the sidewalk till their old beat up grey car pulled away from the university.

Sighing, you rolled your shoulders back, grabbed all your things and walked the 10 minutes all the way to your side of the dorms. Personally, you had no clue who your roommate was besides their name but you knew even if you got a wild one you wouldn't change rooms. It didn't matter to you wether or not your roommate had purple hair, while your parents and nearly everyone in life tended to stick their nose in the business of others, you had no care in the world about anybody else.

From the moment you stepped into your new room, your nostrils were immediately being wrapped in by the smell of vanilla and incense. You looked around the room and noticed that only half of it was done up while the other was plain and void of any decoration.

"Hello, who are you?" A soft voice asked politely and there in front of you stood one of the prettiest girls you'd ever seen. She was a short young woman with long, disheveled shoulder-length black hair, a Greek nose and relaxed dark eyes.

"Oh sorry! I'm your new roommate, you're Pieck Finger, right?" You greeted her, shaking her surprisingly soft hands and placing your bags down on the floor next to you.

"Sorry about the smell, I'm lighting some incense to cleanse the new room. I just got here last night."

"Mhm, are you religious?" You asked, pointing to the black leather notebook in her hand. She looked down at it but smiled and shook her head.

"Ah no, I'm Agnostic. Although my childhood friend practices Hinduism and I guess I pick up on some things." She explained, you nodded at her words and made a mental note to ask her what the hell agnostic meant at a later time. Her eyes went down to the bags in your hand and reached out to grab your suitcase.

"Here I got this, I'll put this on your side of the bed and let me know if I can help with setting anything up." She offered kindly, you nodded at her offer and the two of you immediately got to work.

As you folded your clothes into a drawer and hung them up in a closet and Pieck finished wrapping your bed in it's covers and blankets, the two of you talked. Talked as if you'd been friends since birth. Pieck felt like someone you could truly se yourself being friends with in the long run of college, she was also someone your parents would most likely accept and allow you to stay with. The two of you bonded over certain interests, Pieck had a knack for writing — poems, full books, it didn't matter; you were the artistic one. Always doodling on something or recreating famous art paintings in your room, usually religious paintings as your parents always told you that if you were going to have painting as a hobby you might as well paint something useful.

"Finally, we're done." You sighed, exhaustedly throwing yourself onto the newly made bed. Pieck chuckled and stood up, grabbing her belongings and putting them into a small book bag.

"Hey, me and my friends are meeting in the library later, would you like to come?" She asked, you mulled over the idea for a quick second and nodded your head.

The walk from your dorm and the library gave you and Pieck even more time to get to know each other. She explained how most people from her old high school had come to the nearest college, it being this one which is why she never worried about not making any friends. Your eyes nearly popped out of your eye socket as you stepped up to the large library building, it being much bigger than any library your town had to offer. Pieck held the door open for you as you stepped in and took a moment to admire the large area.

"Psst, Pieck!" Whispered a voice, you looked over to see a brown haired woman in big round glasses waving the two of you over with a wide grin on her face. Pieck waved back and walked over the round table with the two other people sitting and you following behind her.

"Hey guys, this is my new roommate. This is—"

"Hange Zoë, nice to meet you!" The glasses wearing woman exclaimed excitedly taking your hand in her and shaking it vigorously. A nearby librarian glared her way and hushed her, she smiled and apologized to the old woman.

"I'm Porco." Replied the blonde boy on the other side of the table dryly.

You waved at him awkwardly and sat down next to Pieck, yet it was only after they began pulling out their books did you realize you had nothing with you. Tapping the dark haired girl on the shoulder, you motioned towards the bookshelf's and stood up to leave once Pieck nodded her head.

You walked around aimlessly with no true destination or book in mind till you came across a bookshelf, this one different than the others and tucked away in a little corner. It was old and basic but it still had integrity. The wood was straight and it hugged the wall. On closer inspection you could see scratches, the wood a little more pale where it had been dinged. You touched the roughness, not minding one bit and looked at the books inside. The fiction section had always been your favorite growing up, your parents believed books like Harry Potter were some sort of books that demonic and plaguing words hidden within them so you only ever grew up reading them in short amounts of time in the library before they could find you.

A small gasp made its way up your throat as your eyes landed across a book titled Alice in Wonderland, one of your top favorites. The ladder that usually came along with each bookshelf was currently being occupied yet this specific bookshelf seemed to take up nearly the entire wall of the library — this might've been one of the first things you couldn't successfully grab with ease. You reached your hand up to grab the book, your fingertips only slightly touching them before the book suddenly disappeared from your grasp and a warm presence creeped up behind you, towering over your frame.

Looking up, your eyes met a pair deep dark eyes staring down at you, the book now forgotten in your mind as it was now clouded with the face of the person in front of you. It was only after a couple seconds that you blinked out of your trance and stepped back, falling straight between the bookshelf and the person. You felt...intimidated. The person in front of you was more than taller than you, a height you thought was nearly impossible. They tilted their head to the side, bent down a bit and held the book out in their hand as your eyes stayed trained on theirs.

"Do you want it?" They asked, you nearly jumped in your skin at the sound of their somewhat deep voice.

"Huh?"

"The book." You looked down and finally registered the fact that they'd picked up the book you were grabbing at and now held it out to  you.

"O-oh right, thank you." You stuttered, mentally cursing yourself for acting this way. While your eyes strayed away from theirs, they went downward to the person's appearance.

They wore a dark green turtleneck sweater paired with high waisted black pants, accentuating their long legs and black lace up Oxford shoes — their entire appearance intimidated you. The center of their nose pierced through with silver piece of jewelry.

"I..." you regretted opening your mouth the second the words came out, "gotta go," the words spilled out of your mouth as you immediately walked around them and towards your table, the interaction still replaying in your head on loop. It wasn't until you rapidly sat yourself down next to Pieck that you felt like you could breath.

You weren't the most social person in the world but you also weren't the most nervous, but they...their presence, their height, the look in their eyes, it all seemed to send you into frenzy. Ignoring the slightly worried look you got from Pieck, you open the notebook given to you and tried to let the interaction seep away into your memories. Yet it didn't work. Every word on the paper seemed to fly over your head, your mind never sticking to the sentences given to you. Hell, you could barley read about Alice's shitty life without comparing it to what had just occurred. It was all too fresh. Too new. Too...interesting.

"Mornin' Pieck." Greeted a deep voice from behind you, turning around you were faced with a tall blonde haired man with small circle glasses resting on his nose.

"Good mornin, Zeke." Pieck responded kindly, the man looked around the table greeting everyone till his eyes met yours.

"I don't think I've met you before, and who must you be?" He bowed down respectfully and held out his hand, you looked at it confused for a second before sliding your hand into his and watching as he leaned his head down to plant a kiss at the back of your hand.

Before you could protest, a different hand gripped Zeke's shoulder, he pulled away and turned around to find his female companion standing above him with a blank expression on her face — one he'd gotten used to over the course of their friendship. Meanwhile your breath was caught in your throat at the sight of the intimidating person you'd met only moments before.

"Your book, Zeke." They said plainly, Zeke pulled away from you and took the textbook of their hands, thanking them and skimming through the textbook as both of your eyes never left theirs.

"Good morning, Yelena." Pieck greeted her with a smile, finally, Yelena's eyes drifted away from yours and were now on Pieck, the sides of her lips quirking up into a smirk for a second.

"Good morning, Pieck." Your eyes went back and forth between them in confusion until another person popped up behind Zeke.

"Hey guys, hey hange, Pieck." The dark haired man bun wearing boy said, leaning his arm against Zeke's shoulder despite them being the same height.

"Guess I'm just invisible then" spoke up Porco with an offended look on his face, the dark haired boy simply looked at him and blinked.

"Oh no I knew you were there, I just don't care. Anyways, are you guys coming to my big party tonight?" He asked excitedly, Zeke scoffed and pushed his glasses further up his face.

"Tch, we're not children, Eren. Why would we go to some teenage party?" Eren scoffed at the blonde mans response.

"Yeah obviously not you, old man, you're fucking ancient. I was talking to Pieck and..." he looked at you with a confused expression before shrugging and pointing at you, "and her."

"I'm not even that old—"

"Sorry, Eren but you already know my answer." She apologized, Eren pouted and groaned.

"Oh come on, please, Pieck? The last time you went everybody loved you, please?" He begged Pieck, placing his hands on her arm that was leaned against the wooden chair she sat at.

"Aw sorry, kid. I love them all too but I gotta tutoring session today." She apologized sympathetically, patting the boys head and turning to you, "what about you?"

You jumped at the sudden spotlight on you but shook your head regardless, "If Pieck's not going then neither am I." Eren groaned again and tried puppy dog eyes on the long haired woman in front of him.

"Look Pieck, you're deriving your new friend here with the experience of a fun college party." She smiled at his explanation which apparently told Eren enough that he stopped bugging her and stood up to his full height, slamming his shoulder into Zeke's as he walked away and mumbled something under his breath. Zeke almost turned around to go after him until Yelena outstretched her arm to stop him.

"He's a child." She pointed out

"He's a little shit, is what he is." Zeke complained, you looked over at Hange for information.

"They're brothers." She stated, your mouth made an o shape as you finally came to understand why the two seemed to have so much beef between them.

"Half brothers, Hange. Don't associate me with that brat." Zeke huffed, everyone chuckling at the mans clear discomfort with him and Eren being in the same room let alone sentence. "Anyways, we've gotta go, me and Yelena have business to take care of." Zeke said.

"Jeez, you make it sound like the two of you are hooking up." Porco mentioned with a disgusted look on his face,

"What if we are?" He joked playfully until he looked up to see Yelena towering over him with a straight look on her face, Zeke cleared his throat and shook his head, "Kidding, kidding."

The two of them walked out of the library and the three other people at your table continued on their reading while your mind was racked with a bunch of questions of the new characters you just met. You tried to avoid eye contact with Yelena when she was leaving but could still feel her piercing gaze stay onto you until she couldn't anymore.

"So are they?" You inquired with a whisper, leaning over Pieck's shoulder

"Are they what?"

"Zeke and Yelena. Are they..." you raised your eyebrows as the words clicked in Pieck's mind and the other two at the table began laughing into their books.

"No, sweetie, they're not sleeping together or dating." She denied

"Pfft, the day we see Yelena with a man is the day pigs fly." Chuckled Porco, you looked at them confused at their jokes.

"Yelena's a lesbian, babe." Pieck finished your thought and your eyes slightly widened at her response, not expecting it. Embarrassment silently creeped into your mind as you groaned and tucked your head into your arms.

"Well now I feel stupid." The three of them laughed and Pieck rubbed your back.

For some reason, those words felt like a small weight lifted off your shoulders. You couldn't understand why you felt so...happy that she wasn't with Zeke in that way. Maybe you just wanted to her friend. Yeah....that had to be it....her friend.

[adventuresoutsidethegenderbinary]

Hello, River. This ask is pretty long, and I am sorry for that. I have a lot to get off my chest, and I was hoping you could help.

I saw your post about your situation with your mother. I can't imagine how hard that must be for you. I just want you to know that you are not alone.

I have only formally come out as pansexual to my sister (affirming), my sax instructor (affirming) my therapists (affirming), my mom (accepting), and my oldest brother (accepting). About a month ago, I went to a meeting for an LGBTQ+ support group with my university (I currently live with my parents and drive to my classes). It was called "Spectrum," so I lied and said it was an autism group. However, my dad (a recently appointed Mormon bishop) took it upon himself to look it up, so when I got back, he immediately confronted me. He was relatively calm, since he had a bit of time to cool down, but it was still very stressful. I covered for my self in a variety of ways, including describing myself as "having attraction towards people regardless of whether they are male or female." I felt the need to phrase who I AM as something I DO. My mom talked with me about the situation the next day and said, among other things, that he had wanted to tell me there was an emergency at home so he could confront me as soon as possible. She apparently name-dropped "pansexual" during a later conversation with him, but in spite of that he hasn't brought it up since.

I doubt that is for lack of trying, though. He also wanted to talk to me about my political views, since I had been posting a lot of political material to my Facebook page. He is convinced that we have a lot in common. I am not. As you have likely gathered, he is hardcore conservative. He's not openly bigoted against most people, and not quite QAnon territory, but he's out there. I have taken a sharp U-turn to the left. (Exhibit A, my blog.)

The moment I got out of that conversation, I started packing in case I needed to leave. I started formulating ideas. I signed up for campus housing. I made plans with my sister to stay at her house (about 2.5 hours away) if need be. I managed to convince my dad with surprising ease to let me stay with her for about a week (my mom was instantly on board). She is not LGBTQ+ herself (not to my knowledge, at least) but, as previously mentioned, she was very affirming (she was actually the first person I came out to). She has strained relations with my parents (read: my dad) because she left the Church a long time ago, partially due to her sexual activity, and they (he) are convinced that they need to somehow bring her back into the Church (not a chance in hell of that happening). I have been staying with her and her fiancee for the past week.

I do not relish returning (which I will likely do tomorrow evening or Friday morning). I do not want my dad to start probing me. I have already stalled - the original plan was for me to go back yesterday - and I don't think I can stall any more.

Do you have any suggestions or advice on how to proceed? He doesn't even know that Tumblr exists, much less that I have a blog here, but I hate that I am keeping everything secret from him - that I have to. Obviously, it's his fault. I'm up front about it with my sister and with my therapists, and even with my mom. But I have no reason to believe that he will take any accountability for himself. He is convinced that he is doing the right thing, that my sister was a failure (on both his end in "not instilling the gospel in her deeply enough" and hers), that the Church (which I plan on leaving soon myself) is the only way anyone can be truly happy.

How do I avoid confrontation? How do I keep things under wraps? And is there any way I might be able to convince him that maybe, just maybe, he might be in the wrong?

On top of that, I can't help but feel like I'm exaggerating some things, that I am making myself a bigger victim than I really am. I feel this when I am talking with my therapists and I feel it venting to you now. Obviously you don't know my full situation, but do you think I might be overblowing things?

Thank you, and again, I'm sorry for sending such a long ask. Keep doing what you're doing. Your work and advocacy is an immense blessing to us all.

~Red (he/him)

Hi Red,

Thanks for sharing! Never worry about sending in a long ask, I love answering. I obviously can’t provide you with super concrete solutions since I’m not in your shoes, but I do know that you’re not over-exaggerating because for the longest time I thought that I was too. When you’re constantly subject to harassment and judgement, and constantly told that everything is your fault, you start to feel like you’re making things seem bigger than you are. Trust me, you are not. 

My advice would honestly be to just lie low for now. I know that it’s hard to hide who you are - believe me - but sometimes it’s a lot easier than confrontation, especially if your father is paying for your college. I’m glad that you signed up for campus housing - you could be out as who you are at school and then only have to pretend around your parents. 

I do genuinely believe that people who are homophobic can change, but it takes a lot of time, energy, and effort, and ultimately, it’s up to the person themselves, not you. Until you are no longer dependent on him, I would stray away from bringing up LGBTQ+ stuff. He could eventually come around, but I wouldn’t take that chance while you’re still a dependent.

I’m sorry that you’re in this situation - please stay strong and remember how valid you are.

Love always,

River

[diamondcitydarlin]

i know this can't be just me and I know that it isn't JUST the natural result of looking at 'recent' in fandom tags (which is 9 times out of 10 a fucking mistake) bc I've seen it outside of this many times but like...idk. I feel like the fandom communities surrounding sh@dows and 0fmd are far more aggressively negative than they were last time I checked. Mostly I'm talking about the way it feels like people have become possessive over characters from both things and refuse to assume anything but the worst for anyone who depicts their faves (in fanfic or fanart) in a way they don't like or agree with. This isn't anything new in fandom but I'm really disappointed to see it happening here, the same kind of shit we'd see in early 00's HP fandom when someone didn't like a ship or a character 'the right way'.

And ofc I completely understand the frustration of seeing a character or pairing or subplot depicted in a fandom thing in a way one doesn't like or agree with, like ofc I get that, but I'm seeing this new trend of taking anyone doing this in extremely bad faith right off the cuff. publicly and/or DIRECTLY. Like, if a character is depicted in a fanart as too masc or too femme for whoever the viewer is, suddenly the fanartist is a terf confirmed or something and that's not really an exaggeration. Drawing Stede with a fucking beard is now high treason and punishable by death, apparently

And I'm not talking about giving artists, writers notes for how to better depict different cultures, skin types, genders, and so on, because that's completely different. Giving notes implies that you have no reason to assume this person did this for nefarious or selfish reasons just natural human ignorance that just needs to be addressed so they can do better next time, and with most of these artists that IS THE CASE. This isn't that. This is seeing something you don't like and assuming the person who made it did it for the worst possible fucking reason one could come up with and refusing to consider any other possibility bc how else could you punish them for wrongthink??

I guess we...don't care AT ALL how this is going to stifle creativity and gatekeep anyone from attempting to participate in fandom for fear of 'getting something wrong' and being taken as a bigot? A homophobe or terf for drawing or writing something in a tonedeaf but wellmeaning way? For fuck's sake people. But then maybe cruelty and gatekeeping are the point here?

It's really not helpful and it certainly isn't some humanitarian act for fandom rep as I think these people like to pride themselves it is, it's literally just a way for them to narrow down the scope of participation in fandom until its completely under their control and preference, regardless of who they might ostracize in the process (POC artists, for one).

It's nothing new, but man am I pissed to see it coming back here where I really hoped things would be different. Anyway I'm not fucking participating and I really hope whoever reads this thinks hard about not participating in it either, regardless of what motives these 'critics' claim to have. I'm sorry, but it is not fair or logical or kind to jump to these conclusions about each other based on fanart and fanfic. You don't fucking know these people and they don't know you.

And what's more, I'm just going to say it bc it's been coming up GO vs OFMD vs WWDITS debates of which one is queerer (which also makes me want to drive my car off a bridge tbh bc some of these folks are over here debating the queerness of these shows while rooting for Queerbait Het YT Men S2 to finally do the thing when bitch you know damn well); not everything in fandom is going to be made for you. Not everything in a source material is going to be for you. That doesn't inherently make those things bad.

but, apparently, if something is not tailored specifically to MY PREFERENCES of how characters should present (with beards for example) then it's not only invalid, the person who made it is a bad person who should feel bad about themselves? Make it make sense.

Yes, we're coming into an age of openly queer stories and I'm as excited as anyone to see myself reflected. But I'm also going to see other queer people and THEIR experiences reflected and it is not going to be my own and THAT IS NOT ONLY OKAY IT IS HOW IT SHOULD BE BECAUSE 'QUEER' IS AN UMBRELLA TERM THAT ENCOMPASSES A WIDE RANGE OF EXPERIENCES AND IDENTITIES

thanks i hate this <3