#heres this stupid insta style edit I made

[itsgrandmasguy]

iygiygi

[letoscrawls]

Hiiiii

I hope you're doing well!

I would like to ask if u have and advise about starting and art account on insta. I have a small one here on tumblr but people say insta is better for art accs. So I just create an account and start posting? Or do I promote myself in some way, maybe taking dtiys and other challenges?

Thanks in advance:D

Hi! thank you so much for checking on me! :) 

okay, i get this question quite often and i wish i could give you solid advice, but the problem with instagram right now is its algorithm. when i started my account it wasn’t that fucked up, so i don’t really know how it is for new artists who have just started their accounts now! but i can tell you that it really affected every artist, even the bigger ones, so please keep that in mind. if you “fail” to reach your audience it’s not your fault, instagram is literally sabotaging artists and i don’t know for how long it’ll be “the best platform for art”. so just to warn all of you, i don’t want you to compromise your mental health for a social platform that makes money out of our stress and insecurities, i’ll try to share what i think could work because sharing art can be really rewarding and shouldn’t be an ordeal so i’d be happy to help somehow!!!!!

so this is the “algorithm tricks” part: 

when i first opened ig, i remember my stories were viewed by at least 100 people for the first two days even though i had less than 10 followers, so i think that’s instagram way to encourage you to keep posting, so my first advice would be to post your art in the stories too, at least for the first week or something?? now, i know the algorithm is currently promoting reels, so if you’re skilled with those go for it! make videos of your creating process and stuff like that. it’s important to inform your followers when you make a new post bc the chances of it being noticed are higher, you have to do the work bc ig won’t show that post to most of your audience (did i mention that i hate whoever made this algorithm?? yes??) i’m not really sure about this but i think ig prefers the reels you make with their set of editing tools instead of just uploading a pre saved video (i think it’s their way to sabotage those who post their tiktoks), i’ve never tried them so i don’t really know what they’re like, but i’m pretty sure tiktok is way better. i read somewhere that IGTV aren’t ig big thing anymore, so i don’t think you’d get much engagement from them. in general i’d say to always promote your posts in your stories and to wait at least an hour before editing a post bc i think you’ll lose engagement if you edit it right after posting (i know, it’s so stupid).

the use of hashtags is the only thing that i approve, because it’s an helpful tool made by social media before it got so bad and they really help you to reach more people (that’s like their purpose, i just wish there weren’t dozens of other stupid rules to follow in order to be noticed besides hashtags). so using tags like “art”, “artists on instagram” and “daily art” along with tags related to the pic you posted (like the name of the character or the fandom etc) is really helpful, just don’t use unrelated tags bc it’s annoying and idk how convenient it is :P the last thing is promoting your posts by using the sponsored feature; i never used that because i’d rather eat a slug than give money to instagram, but if you have the possibility and you are okay with that then you could try!

now for the “artsy” part

artists have found many ways to bypass the algorithm and keep the community alive over the years, challenges are probably the best way to do so! dtiys are awesome, not only they help you get more recognition, but they also make artists incredibly happy! i should host one very soon myself, i’m looking for a pose and an outfit to draw one of my ocs in, hopefully you’ll see it soon! i cannot explain how happy it makes me to see people draw a character of mine, and it’s great to see them in so many different styles, so i highly recommend dtiys! usually the artists who host them post the entries in their stories too, so yeah, you should definitely try those! there are other challenges like art vs artist, memes etc, it’s incredible how creative the community is despite all! and lastly, draw fan art! contributing to a fandom with your art is so cool, personally i prefer it over original content most of the time, i feel the need to share my point of view and to let out all the idiotic thoughts i have when i consume some kind of media so i’m really biased, but every artist is different, so don’t force yourself to do something if you don’t feel like doing it! drawing something you don’t particularly enjoy because you want to get recognition is gonna make you burnout REALLY BAD, trust me, i personally think that passion>effort, so never forget to put your enjoyment first!!!! 

okay this took me a while and i hope it was helpful! good luck!!! i definitely forgot something dskfjhis

[wondershawns]

For the triplets blurb.... Peter and Raul like the same girl 😳 and they don’t know it, until Shawn realizes it because they’ve both told him about her, and he doesn’t know what to do or how to tell them

A/N: Here’s another quick lil blurb! Thank you so much for sending so many requests guys they’re really fun! I hope I can work my way through them before this weekend.

.

“Pete, wake up.” Shawn snapped his fingers in front of his face.

“I’m listening!”

“No you’re not, what’s up with you?” He leaned back in his chair, knowing he had something to spill.

“Okay, you know that photography workshop I’m doing?”

“Uh-uh?” He waited for him to keep going.

“There’s this girl, like, the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen I swear. And she’s so fucking nice as well, we talked through the whole thing, but I just don’t want to be an idiot and do something stupid tomorrow.”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine.” Shawn rolled his eyes, knowing Peter with his camera was a whole other person. He wasn’t clumsy anymore, he was focused and dedicated, and the quality of his pictures reflected how much work he put into them.

          He and Raul decided to do something together, since workshops in Toronto were often available for a variety of skills they decided to work on their photography and modelling. They always worked together, so it was a fun idea to expand their skills with other people.

          Shawn’s condo in Toronto was always their hang out place, they each had their own place but they couldn’t just stay away from each other when all three of them managed to be in town. Shawn sat in his kitchen with Peter and let him ramble a little more about the girl, whose name was apparently Millie, before he went to Shawn’s room to start editing his pictures.

          It took a few more hours for Raul to make it home, and Shawn was sitting in his kitchen, frowning as he tried to sort out lyrics for his new song until he heard his brother come in.

“How did that modelling thing go?” Raul looked up from his phone when he heard his brother’s voice, which really shouldn’t have surprised him since he was in his kitchen.

“It was cool,” He ran a hand through his hair, messing up the perfectly styled curls now that he was home. “There’s a pretty hot girl in there too,”

“Raul, you work with models.” Shawn snorted. “They’re all gorgeous.”

“No, no I mean it she’s like… I don’t know… We talked for a while when we had time and she was really cool.”

“Well someone has a crush, what’s her name?” He was surprised that he came home after Peter with a similar story, but he found it kind of funny.

“Millie,” He grabbed juice from the fridge and poured himself a glass.

          Shawn tried to keep his expression neutral, but he knew this couldn’t just be a coincidence. He didn’t know why she’d be in a photography and modelling workshop in the same week, but if she was the same girl the boys were in trouble.

“Why’d you look like you’ve seen a ghost?” The eldest rose an eyebrow.

“What? No, what does she look like then,” He tried to look casual, which was a lot easier around Raul than Peter.

“Uh, that’s her insta,” Raul scrolled through his phone for a few seconds to find her account and Shawn snapped the second he saw her.

“Alright that’s it. You need to talk to Peter.” He threw his hands up, knowing he had to say something.

“What? Why?”

“Come on,” Shawn made him abandon his drink and dragged him to his bedroom where Peter was editing some of his pictures from today.

Shawn closed the door and crossed his arms over his chest before he spoke.

“You two like the same girl.”

“What?” They spoke in unison, and Shawn sighed.

“Millie from the photography workshop is the same Millie as the one in the modelling one. You guys are doing this until the end of the week, and you’re hanging out with the same girl.” He explained and they turned to each other.

“You like her?” Raul asked Peter and he shrugged.

“A little? It’s fine though, I can step back.” Peter didn’t want to step on his brother’s toes, and he was much smoother anyway, he was much more likely to have a chance with Millie.

“No,” Raul shook his head. “That’s not fair. She’s off limits.” He decided and Peter nodded.

“Fair,”

“Bros before hoes,” Raul high fived him and Shawn’s eyes widened.

“Guys!” Shawn exclaimed and they both laughed.

“Oh shut up Shawn, we don’t mean it in a bad way.” They shook their heads at the forever perfect gentleman.

“Right, well if you two idiots want dinner now I’m gonna order,” He rolled his eyes and left the room, going back to the kitchen for his phone with the other two hot on his trail. “Mention food and they’ll run to you like puppies.” Shawn let out an exaggerated sigh.

.

tags: @itrocksmysocks @r3ader @everythinghappening16 @sunrise-shawn @alilovesshawn @5-seconds-of-mendes @sleepybesson @definitelynotshawnmendes @chrizzy95 @sunrisebrashx @justanotherfangurl272 @turtoix @mariamuses @tastebaldwin @enchantingbrowneyedgirl @queenmxndes @wildflowerfeast @imaginashawnns @falliningrace @shawnsheaven @heart-struck @thotmendes

[alternativewinxcontinuity]

Diaspro and the Unicorn (Salty Episode Review)

HI! It's me again! It's also bitch o'clock.

So I was about to settled down and write a Diaspro-centric piece but I needed to check her episode appearances first so I could plan some things out, and I got to the bottom of her page on the Wiki and I see the entry on Season 8 and I'm like:

Hold the phone, "Bonds with The Black Unicorn and Rides Off"???? I have got to track this down. (The site I was watching Season 8 on is no longer available to me so I have seen very little of it.)

I would like to summarise my feelings about this episode:

This art style hurts me, the Thigh Gap is not real I don't know what the fudge crackle and pop was going on with Diaspro's pants

Not gonna lie, those Diaspro phone chibis are adorable, (the first 2 ½ times) I want one.

Look who's lying to his girlfriend. Again.

Also just out of curiosity, have the writers ever spoken to a real person... ever?

What the frack is Brandon's voice right now?

“That crazy girl who won't give up on you?” Uhm you mean “The young woman you were engaged to for most of your life until you cheated on her with Bloom and has been through some shit and yet inexplicably doesn't suffer any permanent consequences for anything or get any character growth despite the many good opportunities the writer had because she's needed for instant relationship drama?”

“Moody” is an odd choice of word here, I'm sure I'm just reading into it but... well, I'm sure at least one of you knows when a girl tends to hear the word “moody” thrown around the most...

“It's about Sky!” (how many internal screams do you think the Winx had to suppress? “Bloom's Sad? It's probably Sky. It's always about Sky!!!”)

Why the fudge are they climbing, at least one of them can fly?!

She threw herself from the cliff just to make sure he didn't answer his phone? That's a new level of WTF, also how the F did he move fast enough to catch her?! I call bullshit. And possibly shenanigans!

Look, I'm going to be honest, I feel like I'm watching a different show with characters that were asset flipped from Winx and then edited so it doesn't look like they stole the Winx's homework. I know who these characters are but I feel like I don't recognise them.

Why did he leave his phone on while he's on a “super secret mission” anyway? What kind of secrecy is that? I know it's a fake mission, but he doesn't know that, it's just bad secret mission etiquette.

also are you serious with that map? WTF?!

Okay, so I've missed ALOT of season 8 so could someone fill the knowledge gap please: The dumbass suits allow Sky and co to fly... but why did Diaspro have to use a mechanical wing set and why does the LIFE LONG FAIRY suck at flying in comparison to the guy who only just THIS SEASON got a set of wings???????

I remember a time when Diaspro had dignity and wasn't a whiny three year old.

Seriously, she had to know this would end poorly once the truth came out. And she had to know the truth would come out.

Again: what the fudge just get an actual map of the area and mark some fake shit, why bring a scroll with a heart on it? Surely he would have asked to see it before now?!

I have a low opinion of Sky, so I'm not sure, but I think he's gotten stupider...

“Trespassers must die! Oh you're here for a fake mission and want to sulk and yell at each other now? Then by all means loiter as long as you like!”

I hate these voices, they are so grating! And Whiny!

And I don't want to make this a race thing but : “Oh no, the scary angry Black Guy Unicorn! Fear for your lives!”

Also why the flibbertigibbet is she suddenly a whimpy little wussy damsel? Did I black out and miss the part where fairies can't fairy on a 'star'  or was that just a different episode? (I'm sorry that looked like a planet not a burning ball of gas and plasma, I feel I've missed some important lore terminology while unable (and unwilling) to watch season 8.)

Oh my gawd, the pacing

I'm not even going to ask when the Winx became friends of the Unicorns, I'll just assume I skipped the episode.

"I've never seen anything like it"... BOI! The Winx do that basically every freaking party they go to, just sans the horse power.

“He doesn't trust anyone because of his tragic backstory.” > Bloom immediately approaches at a “I'll friendship no jutsu you” fast walk > Diaspro shows up to be a bitch > Unicorn immediately trusts her for No Reason > Diaspro finally after way too many seasons decides “screw it I'm out” only to immediately ruin it with “I'll be waiting for you” and never be seen again

FFS, if this is what you are going to do with the character, just don't bring her back, let her fade into secondary character obscurity Off Screen!!!!! Let her die with some modicum of dignity!!!

I don't know, maybe I'm just angry because that's my bitchy-murder-babe being thrown under the bus for insta-drama again but I did not care for this episode at all.

There was so much potential here.

They could have made the mission objective real (and coincidentally related to the Winx's), Diaspro could have had some character growth, realised she was pining for an idea of a guy and not a real guy, she could have gone toe-to-toe with a pissed magical equine and experienced some real empathy: “I was hurt by the people I trusted too, and it turned me so bitter I lashed out at them in turn and I get you” before her: “I'm not appreciated and I'm sick of not being appreciated” moment which could have gone: “I'm not going back to Eraklyon, I've got some stuff to figure out and it's way past due”

FFS! They're basically giving Icy (unrepentant Queen of Mean) a sudden tragic backstory makes everything okay instant redemption arc! (Kind of if I understood that episode correctly)

Just let Diaspro go! Release her from this torment!!!! Please!!!

TLDR: Episode S08E?? (14?19?): WTFWTFWTF?!?!?!?!?!??

[creativetrashcans]

Simmer - Get To Know

By @cupcakegnome

Tagged: @ talemagne

CHIWAWA

Your name: Lonely Chiwawa (she/her)

Languages you speak: Catalan, Spanish and kinda English 

Are you a mermaid: No not really... can barely swim tbh

Your play style: mmmh i like most things, creating sims, builidng is so much fun too, also challenges mmh stories no tho i cant write em LOL rip 

Your Selfsim picture: 

Stories or gameplay, builds, lookbooks, edits or cc: Challenges, builds and some other things coming heh

Your favorite age state: Teen or young adult

Your favorite season: Winter!!! i feel it has a lot to do and the snow is soooo pretty 

Your favorite holiday: Only played harvest fest so far... in sims BUT irl i like Christmas 

How was your day: It was chill and nice, even went outside wew

Your favorite career: Painter...........................maybe?

Your favorite aspiration: Soulmate

Your favorite EP, SP or GP: Seasons 

How old is your simblr: Less than a year i think 

Have you woohooed: Yes, many times

Your favorite skill: Cooking, parenting and painting

The size of your Mods folder: 37,7 GB

Your 3 favorite mods: uhhhh hahaha impossible to choose

Your interests (other than sims): Drawing, make up and nails, mmh minecraft old anime and series too 

Your favorite sim (picture if possible): Maybe not my favourite Sim of all time because we got so many! But this is our version of Franky form One Piece. Before starting any project just for fun we made him and I always felt so proud of how he turned out. Not only he looks very attractive, i also feel its a good representation of how a human him would look like.

Which Sims games you have played (including mobile games): Sims 2, 3 and 4 

Propose a crazy scheme: People being nice always and world being in peace and not dying in gud old climate change

Best part of simblr: seeing how other people enjoy the sims and how they play also them aesthetic 

Worst part of simblr: mmhhhhhhhh lack of comunication between players i don’t feel much sense of community here at least now... i actually suck at comunicating so..... dunno

What other games you play: Minecarft recently but not much into games actually

Other websites or accounts (origin, twitter etc..):  

Twitter --> https://twitter.com/creativetrashc1

Intagram --> https://www.instagram.com/creativetrashcans/

Personal Instagram --> https://www.instagram.com/elia_clco/

My side tumblr --> https://generationtrashcan.tumblr.com/

Are you single: Nuuuupe

WORM

Your name: Lively Worm (she/her)

Languages you speak: Catalan, Spanish and some English.

Are you a mermaid: Nope, I’m a worm.

Your play style: I love building houses and decorating them, dressing sims and doing their makeup.

Your Selfsim picture:

Stories or gameplay, builds, lookbooks, edits or cc: I do gameplays, challenges and buildings.

Your favorite age state: I think it’s young adult because I can explore more.

Your favorite season: Autumn, because of the beautiful colors.

Your favorite holiday: I don’t know yet, I haven’t explored all of them.

How was your day: It’s 15:40h and I’m hungry, I want to eat soon.

Your favorite career: Musician.

Your favorite aspiration: Musical genius, unsurprisingly.

Your favorite EP, SP or GP: Pets and vampires.

How old is your simblr: Less than a year.

Have you woohooed: ¬_¬

Your favorite skill: I don’t know, maybe the singing skill?

The size of your Mods folder: 29,9 GB.

Your 3 favorite mods: I can’t choose. There are so many so good!

Your interests (other than sims): Singing, drawing, anime, manga and kpop.

Your favorite sim (picture if possible): Why?? I can’t choooooseeee, I love most of them! Okey, after a lot of thought I’ve chosen Una, Usopp’s daughter from our 100 Baby Challenge, because the three of us love her and I love drawing her!! She’s really charming and she’s grown up really well. I relate to her because she also loves drawing and vampires.

We posted some drawings of her on twitter and insta!

Which Sims games you have played (including mobile games): Sims 2, 3 and 4. And some PS game I don’t remember.

Propose a crazy scheme: Making people learn expectatives are bad and judging others hurts everyone involved.

Best part of simblr: I can share our art and tell many stories with interesting sims.

Worst part of simblr: The lack of comunication.

What other games you play: Kingdom Hearts, Hollow Knight, The Last of Us... mostly play station games.

Other websites or accounts (origin, twitter etc..): 

Common Twitter: https://twitter.com/creativetrashc1

Common Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/creativetrashcans/

Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/makaru_walker/

Are you single: No, I’m Turtle’s.

TURTLE

Your name: Lazy Turtle (she/her)

Languages you speak: Catalan, Spanish, English and some basic French.

Are you a mermaid: Pretty sure I’m not.

Your play style: Starting projects and never getting past the building process is a playstyle? I usually like to have some objective though, instead of just playing aimlessly.

Your Selfsim picture:

Stories or gameplay, builds, lookbooks, edits or cc: I find stories pretty awkward to portray on Sims, and fashion and decoration were never my strong point. So I stick to challenges, both found and created.

Your favorite age state: Depends on what for. Young adults are the easiest to manage and have more options, but toddlers are the most challenging on a Baby Challenge.

Your favorite season: Autumn, always. Its colors are just beautiful.

Your favorite holiday: Haven’t played them all yet, so I can’t say.

How was your day: (Tumblr erased all my hard work on this thing, but the day I first wrote it I had my blood taken so not great). Today, I discovered the extent of human stupidity in mass hysteria situations. Never seen a supermarket so empty of food before.

Your favorite career: Hypotetically, writer. But I haven’t played as one yet so I can’t confirm.

Your favorite aspiration: Big Happy Family’s been pretty fun for our matriarch, but I still have many more to explore. (I can say it’s not the kid’s mobility one. Stupid mecanography.)

Your favorite EP, SP or GP: Probably Seasons so far.

How old is your simblr: Less than a year.

Have you woohooed: Uh.

Your favorite skill: Uhhh... No idea.

The size of your Mods folder:  29,9 GB. Worm and I share a game and a mods folder, but Chiwawa dumps her messily organized mods on us from time to time.

Your 3 favorite mods: Wow nope.

Your interests (other than sims): Mostly writing and reading (I’m the main writer of this tumblr, btw), but also videogames, anime and k-pop.

Your favorite sim (picture if possible): I wouldn’t say it’s my favourite sim of all time, I have far too many sims I love for different reasons, but this one was specially hard to get right so we feel particularly proud.

His name is Carles Serra, and he’s a parental figure for two of the MCs of the story we’re working on. He’s a math and ethics teacher on a very exclusive highschool, and he needed to have both a very refined and snobbish air and this inevitable awkwardness all math teachers seem to have. Plus, he has to deal with teenage drama all through the story, so I feel like he needs a lot of love. And maybe some vacation.

Which Sims games you have played (including mobile games): Sims 2, 3 and 4. And I think I once tried to make a sim on a terrible PS2 version or something.

Propose a crazy scheme: Mandatory therapy for teens so everyone learns empathy and management of one’s emotions would be pretty neat.

Best part of simblr: Sharing our common passion with others in a free and creative way, probably.

Worst part of simblr: The lack of interaction, I guess. I had only ever been in a very small fandom here on tumblr before, and compared to the closeness of that comunity, I feel like simblr is... very scattered.

What other games you play: Play Station ones, mostly. Whatever gives me a compelling story.

Other websites or accounts (origin, twitter etc..):

Common Twitter: https://twitter.com/creativetrashc1

Common Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/creativetrashcans/

Personal Twitter: https://twitter.com/ALazyTurtle1

Are you single: I’ve been dating Worm for years now.

We will tag: @hellobreadsims

[mercurialsmile]

Halo Review

Halo by Alexandra Adornetto is the worse book I have ever read. Reading Halo made me appreciate Twilight for what it is. I can't even call it a Twilight ripoff, because calling it that actually insults Twilight.

Halo is the worst published book I have ever come across. It was so terrible, for most the book, I had to read a single chapter at a time! Any more just pissed me off and bored me to tears. A chapter a day, and I was done. Only time I could read more than one chapter at a time was at the end, in where I was just rushing to get the book finished because HEY! I HAVE ONLY A FEW PAGES LEFT! I'M ALMOST DONE!

I am going to try and put the terribleness of this book into words. I really, really am gonna try. But I don't think words can really explain just how thoroughly BAD this book is.

So instead of just telling y'all how bad this book is, I'm going to show y'all. Because unlike Adornetto, I actually know how to show, not tell.

The Writing:

First, let's talk about the writing. Apparently, you can just string any words into any sentences and have them make sense now! Wow! What a concept!

But seriously, the writing was godawful. I counted maybe two descriptions that were actually needed and well-written. TWO DESCRIPTIONS! Out of... What… 485 pages? That's just sad.

The writing was bland at best and confusing at worst. It hit all the YA cliches, and then some. Random descriptions of things that had nothing to do with anything- such as a tree, or paintings. Descriptions about how beautiful the love interest was littered EVERY PAGE he was in. Seriously, you can not escape his "tousled walnut hair" and his "beautiful nutmeg hair" because apparently, his hair is made of nuts and spices. Also, he is yet another character whose blue eyes constantly change color; sapphire, ocean, cobalt, blue, turquoise… yeah every "blue" metaphor was in this book minus clorox! Pro-tip to everyone out there; all those blues are different shades and hues! Stick to one metaphor, using is sparingly, and we get it!

Besides the cliches, the similes in this book were just plain strange. "I resembled a column of shimmering moonlight" and "it blew like flour in the wind." and I honestly cannot remember EVERY strange simile and metaphor in this book, but trust me, they're there. Too many times I found myself stopping and scratching my head because of the weird way things were worded or compared to.

The book's pacing is everywhere. The beginning is rushed, the middle is slow and plods along at a pace that makes you wanna die, and the end is rushed so badly, the ending chapters just fall apart. It's like someone reminded her that books have plot, so she shoved a plot that should've been building up for the past 400-something pages into the last 50 pages. Near the end of the book, the writing simply deteriorated. It was like the book was missing entire SCENES that connected what was going on together. The characters began teleporting around the scenes as well, their body movements not written out at all. One second, one character was in the middle of the living room, the next they were at a dining table, and then they were back in the living room, then thrown across the room across the dining room table. Yeah. It was that confusing.

There were no slow parts near the end to let you dwell on any of the tragedies that happened, no feeling or care put at all into it. Most the book focused on the insta-love between the two leads.

And because it really needs to be said, there is also no showing in this book. Everything is told. Nothing is left to your imagination, nothing is left up for you to interpret, and there are no points in which the book lets you think and chew on what you just read. The writing is very simple besides the random words she obviously plucked out of the Thesaurus to use. There is nothing new about the writing style, nothing interesting, hell there is barely a style here at all, if I am being honest. It's plain and bland.

The last thing I have to say about the writing was the amount of typos in this shit book. Which, to be honest, if I had to edit this hot flaming mess, I'd fall asleep too. That's the ONLY way editors could have thought this was fine. There were missing commas everywhere, wrong punctuation, missing words in a couple of places, and too many times I stopped just to wonder how this book got published on the amount of typos alone.

I have nothing left to say about the writing. It was just a hot mess. Beyond a hot mess, it was how did this get published?

Angel Mythology and Research:

The mythology and clear lack of research that went into this book gets its own little part because I CANNOT let it slide.

For one, I can't believe that the woman who wrote this was a Christian. I seriously do not understand how any Christian can butcher their own religion so thoroughly. I'm not even a Christian, but even I could see the clear errors.

And the thing is, the errors aren't even small little errors either!

I think the biggest issue was the clear lack of any research done in angelology. One of the most basic things about angels, is that their names end in -el in some way. -El, -iel, and -ael, usually. -El means "of god."

The main angel character was Bethany while one of the other angel characters was named Ivy. The only angel that adhered to the angel mythos was Gabriel, who is, yes, the archangel Gabriel. So not even a character she really created herself. Well, if you can call any of this book's characters characters.

But I'm getting ahead of myself there.

I don't think this book could figure out which version of Heaven it wanted to use. I thought it felt Catholic, but then it fucked up the Virtues and Circles in Heaven, and also the hierarchy of angels. Archangels are not the most powerful angels in Heaven. I'll admit, I didn't really know that until I was doing my own research into angels for my own book series, but that's the thing: I did my research. This author clearly didn't. Archangels are actually pretty low on the hierarchy. The most powerful angels are Seraphim, who I believe guard God's throne.

Look, if you're gonna write a book based on already established mythology- and especially biblical mythology of a religion YOU ARE A PART OF- you have to do your research to make sure the shit you're spewing is correct!

Speaking of shit spewed, the world building in this book based on this fractured mythology never painted a clear picture. It's obvious that the angle of angels hiding among humans was barely thought out at all. The bits of worldbuilding given was always info dumped and half of it was completely pointless. It was just a mess, to be honest.

Plus, the fact that Bethany, the main character, gets involved with a human is completely hand waved with no real reason. Usually, angels being with humans is a big no-no. Look, you can either have it be a problem, or not. Plus, the reason why angels can't be with humans was never actually given! Usually, the reason is the chance of birthing nephelium children. That was never mentioned. It was mentioned briefly in a very vague manner that it's a sin for a human to get with an angel, but the reason why it's considered a sin is never given. This book tries to push that this relationship is somewhat forbidden, but it never actually is shown to be! No consequences come from the characters being together.

And I'll admit, there are parts in this book in which you kinda forget Bethany is an angel and just think of her as some stupid, naive, annoying girl. Well, she is all those things even with being an angel. It's ridiculous.

I'll go more into detail about the angel characters in the character section of this review. Let's move onto the… "plot" of this book.

The Plot:

Plot? What plot?

Seriously, there is absolutely no plot to be found here. It's tacked on at the end like the author somehow forgot books are supposed to have a point and plot.

Before I get into the train wreck that was the execution of this so-called "plot," let's talk about the actual plot itself.

The story of Halo is supposedly that Dark Forces have been gathering in a coast town called Venus Cove. Three angels; Gabriel the Warrior, Ivy the Healer, and Bethany, the most human, are sent to this town to root out the Dark Forces and put an end to the unnatural troubles the town has been facing.

Now, this is… kinda cliche. The basic story of angels-going-to-Earth and one of the angels happen to fall in love with Earth and doesn't want to leave. We've seen it all the time. It's been done to death. Of course, just because a book's plot is cliche, doesn't mean it's going to be bad. If the execution is handled well enough, and if it's nuanced enough, then any cliched plotline can become interesting again. However, this book does not play with the possibilities at all. It takes the safest route possible with this plotline and thus, in just a few chapters in, you're already bored. If you've read any YA novel at all, or hell, even seen any movies based on YA novels or high school movies in general, you'll be able to easily map out what happens in this book. Strange girl appears on Earth. Strange girl goes to school. Strange girls meets her best friend forever her first day and love interest and maybe even the bitchy cheerleader slut that hates her. Yeah, the only thing missing here was the cheerleader slut, though considering all of Bethany's friends and her best friend are shown and slut-shamed, I guess the bitchy cheerleader wasn't needed here.

Yeah. Nothing new or interesting is done here.

But that's not the worst part of this plot. The worst part was, really, just how godawful this execution was. Like… seriously. As I stated before, the pacing was atrocious.

The first two chapters really hammers in how big of a deal it is to try and figure out what these "dark forces" are in this town. But then, the book completely drops that. It's mentioned a couple of times by Gabriel and Ivy randomly, but they never actually do anything to go find these dark forces. Or, if they do, it's all offscreen and mentioned in passing. Seriously, this book drops its main and only plot for hundreds of pages to focus on the insta-love between Bethany and her love interest, Xavier. Thing is, there is nothing interesting about these characters. Putting them together doesn't make them interesting either! You could go outside right now, find two rocks on the ground, and those two rocks would have better chemistry between them than Bethany and Xavier. They meet one another like… three times, fall in love within a couple short chapters, and the rest of the book till the very disastrous end is Bethany obsessing over her love for Xavier three times a page. I'll get more into how disgusting and unhealthy their relationship is in a bit.

Now, about 2/3s into this book, the villain is introduced. You know he's the villain right away since he's described as being dark and almost gothic. Oh, and he has a tattoo. Because everyone knows ALL VILLAINS have tattoos and are "too skinny to be comfortable to hug." Yeah, that was in here too.

Thing is, the villain doesn't do anything except become Bethany's friend and act like a Nice Guy. Yeah, he's described as looking "cool and gothic" and then later donned a fedora, scarf, and trench coat. I wish I was joking.

Prom is the only thing built up in this book and that's when the villain FINALLY strikes Bethany. Now, you'd think prom is where all the bad shit goes down and the climax of the book, right? It'd be cliched, but whatever. But nope! Prom happens, the villain is revealed to the shit cast in this book. I say cast because all us readers have known for pages that he's the villain, and then the book has the GALL to spend a couple of chapters with the angels being pussies and not knowing what sort of creature the villain is.

The villain is causing the dark forces! Which is caused by demons and "agents of lucifer" (yeah that's what demons are called in this). His touch has already been described as to burn Bethany! Why are y'all being little bitches and letting him just continue to hurt people?! Why does it take y'all such a long time to figure out he's a demon! Seriously, it's eye roll worthy. It's so dumb.

After the prom, which you would think is when the actual climax would happen, events that should've taken place hundreds of pages ago are condensed in the last few chapters afterwards. Foreshadowing and everything. Someone dies, there are like a couple of pages focusing on how sad the death is even though you saw the character who died like… only 3 or 4 times in the book, then everyone is a-okay basically. Bethany is an idiot, tracks down the villain with her boy-toy, of course she is overpowered at the end, gets kidnapped, then rescued by her love interest and her sibling angels who I guess have finally decided to stop being pussies. The villain is defeated in a single paragraph, Bethany's special angel power… because this book took some influence from My Little Pony I guess and every angel has a special gift, and Bethany's is shown to be love, of course, and she defeats the villain. Everyone is saved besides the chick who died who is already forgotten about, and of course there is a sad scene with Bethany being gone briefly because she was recalled into Heaven, but no she can stay on Earth now it's all good and everyone is okay.

Yeah. An entire plot of a single book crammed into a few chapters at the end. Something tells me this author has never heard of Freytag's Pyramid or even knows what a "Beginning, middle, end" is.

Like, I've seen some pretty plotless stories in my day. I've seen some pretty butchered stories in my day. But nothing, and I mean NOTHING, compares to how fractured this story is. Nothing. It's inexcusable that this was published. It's inexcusable that the author thought that this sort of flow was acceptable. As a fellow writer, I'm offended and a little ashamed.

The Setting:

Usually, the setting of a book wouldn't get its own section, but because even the plain setting was butchered, I thought it would be apt to include.

I did some research on the author, and as it turns out, she's from Australia, not America. Believe it or not, America has its own cultures and the fact that the author doesn't know any of them sticks out like a sore thumb.

Now, if not so much focus was put on these three things, I maybe would've let it slide in this book.

First thing's first, the love interest of this book- Xavier- is never referred to the proper term. He is always called the School Captain, but in most American schools, he would be apart of a Student Council and be known as the Student President most likely. Yes, it's a nitpick, but it still annoyed me.

The second thing was the fact that rugby was the Big School Sport. Rugby? Excuse me? Yes, there is rugby here in America, but everyone knows that 9 times out of 10, the most popular sport at American schools is either going to be American football, basketball, baseball, or maybe soccer. Considering how conservative this town seems to be, I'm going to say it's most likely in the south, which would make it doubly weird that rugby is the big school sport and not, say, football.

Lastly, the biggest issue was how prom was represented. Again, I would let this slide if the prom hadn't been talked about all the time every chapter, but since it was and was done terribly, I'm gonna pick at it.

First of all, there is no mention of prom tickets and of the competition to get on the prom king/queen court. The latter, I could probably let slide, but definitely not the former! You ALWAYS have to buy a ticket to go to prom! And considering how much the characters of this book never shut up about the prom, it wouldn't be hard having one of them mention something about the tickets.

The crowning of prom king/queen was also done poorly. In this book, there were multiple winners for different sections. Such as "best hair" "best dress" and etc. I have… never heard of a prom setting up their competition like that. Usually it's just plain king and queen.

Finally, the prom itself was completely ridiculous and over the top. It had no theme (every knows proms have a theme. Come on). Plus, it was fancy to the point of comedy. Waiters? Five-star food and meals? You have to be kidding me. This is some rich-ass neighborhood bullshit right there.

And honestly, the biggest sin the setting caused, which I already mentioned before, is the fact that there is NO REASON for these angels to be here! Nothing happens! Nothing all the bad happens! Every town gets its fair share of rowdy teens, fires, car crashes, and etc.! It's a fact of life and is normal. If none of those things happen wherever you live, that would be strange. The entire town of Venus Cove sounds like a rich white neighborhood. Everyone is spoiled, everyone has money to throw around for whatever reason, and my question is: why here?

Yeah, the book says that there are angels in other places- in war-torn countries and the like, but it feels like an excuse. There is never a real reason for these angels to be here at Venus Cove besides vague warnings and threats that never really come true till the last few pages of the book.

It all just feels… pointless.

The Characters:

Halo is written in first person, and we see through the eyes of Bethany, however there are multiple other main characters that need to be discussed besides the main two and villain.

The full cast of characters that actually kinda matter in this book is as follows: Bethany, Ivy, Gabriel, Xavier, Molly, and finally Jake. And they are all absolutely terrible, and I am gonna tell you why.

Let's start this off with our titular character: Bethany Rose Church.

Yup. That's her full name. Seriously, WHO in their RIGHT MIND thinks THIS is a good name?! It sounds like a name some 13 year old would think of! Bethany Rose Church is hardly better than Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. The only difference is that the former somehow got in a published book. How, I don't know. Editors must have fallen asleep.

Honestly? There is nothing much to say about Bethany. She makes Bella Swan look like a Harvard Graduate. She's naive to the point of just plain stupidity, pointless, shallow, selfish, and of course, flawless and pure. Seriously, she has no flaws to speak of that are pointed out in this book. No real character flaws, and not even physically! Her skin is described as being pale and having no blemishes or splotches at all! The book tries to play her off as this perfect beautiful sweet angel who never does any wrong, but she is honestly selfish, but no one and not the narration points out that this is a bad thing to be. She puts herself and her love interest before her work, her status as an angel, her family, and even points out that it's okay for her to neglect her friends because she has a boyfriend, so it's understandable. Um, no. Everyone knows you don't drop your fucking friends for a boy or girlfriend come on.

She's just… nothing. She's perfect and pure and shiny and an absolute bore to read because she's not a character. She's a mouthpiece for the ideologies in this. And there isn't much else I can say.

Ivy exists. That's all I can say. Supposedly she is the oldest angel, but she's literally just a housewife. All she does is cook and clean. She's barely in the book at all. I can't say anything else about her because she isn't anyone. She is also the only other female character in this book not shamed or dismissed. But I'll get into the meanings of that later.

Gabriel is just like Xavier. He's kinda broody and serious and that's about it. He does most the work and is probably the most likeable character in this book, which isn't saying much. He acts as Bethany's older brother more or less, but their relationship is just… nowhere to be found, really. They have no familial chemistry or bond. He's just kinda there to pop up every once in awhile to remind Bethany that she can't be with humans and that they have a job. Least, in the first part of the book. The middle is dedicated to him being eye-candy for Molly, which is really creepy considering he's posing as a teacher and Molly is his student.

And those are the three angel characters. And before I go on, I'm gonna talk a little about their wings.

Yes, these three have wings, and their wings make NO SENSE at ALL. In fact, you forget they have wings because their wings only ever come into play to waste time or as plot devices. Nothing more.

Furthermore, their wings make no logical sense. And I know we're talking angels here, but the book clearly says they use their wings to fly, not magic, so they still gotta follow what physics dictates since they have mostly-human bodies (and I say mostly humans because they don't have belly buttons… if they HAVE to stay undercover for a mission, why not give them actual normal human bodies? Then again, if they had normal human bodies, they wouldn't be able to be absolutely beautiful and flawless.)

Sorry, lemme get back on track to these shitty wings.

Their wings are described as being paper-thin…. Which makes no sense since wings need bone, muscle, and proper feathers, and can easily fold up against the back. Which, again, makes no sense. If they could be folded up against just the back under a shirt, then they would be too small for them to fly with and the shape would most likely be wrong.

Also, somehow Bethany was able to hide her wings even though she wore things like a prom dress, which you know… are thin up top usually and you can't even hide the bump of your bra strap sometimes, let alone wings. Also, even if you could put a shirt over your wings to hide them, you would still be able to see the impression of the wings underneath. FURTHERMORE STILL, wings are a limb of the body! They would get too cramped up to be folded up like that for days and weeks! And it is mentioned that she does get wing cramps, but it's not mentioned enough. Plus, there is always the chance that she could've flapped them by accident, or they could twitch, or get an itch somehow, or in general be uncomfortable folded up against her back and under her shirt, but again, it's never really brought up as anything important besides padding, or when the author randomly remembers that she is indeed writing angels. Gabriel and Ivy also never mention their wings beyond the fact that they have to hide them.

And the fact of the matter is is that the only reason they have wings is so it's obvious they're angels. Literally no other reason, since so many gaps and inconsistencies are made with this wing shit! It makes no logical sense to the book either! If you're going undercover, wouldn't you want NORMAL HUMAN BODIES with BELLY BUTTONS and NORMAL SPLOTCHY AND BLEMISHED SKIN and NO WINGS? Seriously, it's implied God made these bodies for them and if that's true then, quite frankly, God is an idiot as well in this.

Sorry for going on such a tangent, but I wasn't so sure where else I should put this little nitpick. Let's move onto the other three non-angel characters.

Xavier is basically your stereotypical YA love interest minus being a bad boy. He's almost too clean cut, in fact, almost too perfect. In fact, like Bethany, he's just a glittery rock too. Except he's also demanding, rude, controlling, and judgmental as all hell. He slut shames and is obsessed with gender roles. It's VERY strange. For example, he states multiple times he dislikes poetry because it's "for girls" which… considering some of the most FAMOUS poets are men, is really, REALLY fucking strange. Makes him sound like an idiot. And of course, he's the one who points out only women can wear makeup and if boys wear makeup, they must either be emo or in a boyband…. Yeah… those two only… considering a lot of actors wear makeup and many, many bands wear stage makeup… it's just… gross. As you can probably tell, this is where the book gets some transphobic overtones. Furthermore, he enforces the idea that all men know about cars and motors because they're men, and likewise all men like sports and don't understand prom and don't enjoy prom for the same reason… look, it makes no sense. I'm trying to explain it, but it makes no sense and he makes no sense either.

As for being controlling, as I mentioned before, he commands Bethany to do things like eat and such. He only allows her to hang around people he "approves" of, and HE has to be the one to protect her. He, a simple human teenage boy, has to protect and fucking ANGEL.

I'm not the only one seeing a problem with this, right? Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ, please come back and prevent this book from having ever being written. Thanks.

But, really, besides the fact that Xavier is controlling and edging that abuse line… which a lot of YA male love interests in these books do anyways, he's nothing. Just another white pretty boy who has no personality.

Of course, the author TRIES to give him a personality and a kinda? Tragic backstory, but it goes nowhere. Basically his old girlfriend died in a fire and he refused to date anyone else. But of course after knowing Bethany for a few days, he falls in love with her and the illusion of grief given to him was shattered. Honestly, you forget that his old girlfriend died in a fire till the end. It didn't add or shape his character at all, probably because he isn't a character.

Molly is the standard BFF and she's also the slut of the book. She's heavily slut shamed, obsessed with boys and prom, and that's the extent of her character and personality. She also has this super creepy crush on Gabriel (HER TEACHER) and borderline stalks him and it's… supposed to be seen as acceptable? The book never paints it in a bad light. It's really gross, if I am being honest. She's also the character used as the example of what NOT to be and is often used to bounce ideologies off. I'll get more into the ideologies of this book later, however.

Last "character" I can talk about is Jake Thorn. Yup, that's the name of the enemy. He's a demon, which isn't a spoiler because you know he is as soon as he enters the scene, and honestly he is the closest character to actually being a character. The best dialogue in this shit book actually comes from Jake and Bethany when they are together. They have the closest to an actual chemistry in this. Which is… odd and sad.

Jake is a really strange character. He's introduced and is basically described as a goth and bad boy. He's pale, has dark hair and eyes, and is thin. Oh, and he has a tattoo. Of course.

And then he basically is turned into a Nice Guy? Wears a fedora, scarf, and long coat/trench coat, feels entitled to Bethany… who he is interested in, for some reason, and doesn't accept rejection from her. Like, I didn't know you could mix a goth, a bad boy, and a Nice Guy together, but apparently you can. He's one of the strangest characters I have ever read about, and not in a good way.

Besides that, he's just… standard asshole evil. His characterization is whatever the plot demands at that time.

And that's our cast! None of them are good, interesting, or developed in the slightest, and you will hate every character for most the book. Trust me on that.

The Relationship:

I have… so much and so little to say about the relationship shown in Halo. On one hand, it's just plain instalove. You never feel like the characters are really as in love as Halo tries to convince you they are. There is absolutely no chemistry between them whatsoever, and neither of them really have hobbies beyond telling one another how much they love one another. It's almost sickening, if I am being honest. Most the book is dedicated to Xavier and Bethany's relationship, but they can't possibly have a relationship as they don't have personalities, they aren't characters. And seeing two rocks interact with one another isn't interesting. Having two rocks doesn't suddenly make them interesting! It just means you have two rocks.

On the other hand, however, there is quite a bit of your standard YA Abusive Boyfriend trope, and several other gross implications.

Xavier and Bethany's relationship is pretty standard when it comes to terrible YA books. Instalove, as I have said before, and a lack of understanding on why these characters are even together. Xavier is controlling and possessive, which is played off as being worrisome and protective. He controls who Bethany is allowed to hang out with, controls how much she eats, and there is even a part in the book where he talks for her, and this is seen as romantic.

As vile as this controlling behavior is, it's standard fare as I've said. It's prevalent in many YA books. The idea that a man will lay down his life and do anything to protect you is a romantic fantasy for many women, and many writers just don't have the skills to write something like that and have it not cross the line into just being possessive instead of protective.

Lastly, in the beginning of Halo, Bethany fretted about her and Xavier's relationship being forbidden. Now, this is common, and usually the answer given is because an angel lusts over a human, and lust is a sin. If not that, then Angel/Human relationships are banned due to the chance of birthing Nephilim children. Thing is, neither of these things really apply to Bethany, and the reason why Human and Angel romantic interaction isn't allowed is never ever brought up!

Plus, after Xavier and Bethany get together, this "forbidden romance" angle is just completely hand-waved. Look, "because God works in mysterious ways" is as good an excuse as "because magic" and that's not a reasonable excuse either! I know this is a book about angels and shit, but come on, I need a little bit of believability. If you don't wanna write and go into details about how the romance is forbidden and explore the consequences of two characters being together that aren't supposed to be together, then just don't write it. Come on. Not writing something is easier than actually writing something!

Anyways, besides this standard fare, Xavier seems to almost constantly look down at Bethany. Considering how fucking stupid she is, it's understandable, but there are implications that he looks down at her because she's a naive girl. He doesn't let her learn, he's like a hovering parent, and it's quite creepy. It's vaguely misogynistic. It's also strange because Bethany is an angel, and yet she needs some human boy to protect her? Yeah, right.

Furthermore, Xavier shoves gender roles down your throat constantly. There are multiple parts of the book where he degrades things such as literature, poetry, and makeup as being "things for girls" and neither the narration or Bethany speaks out against this. It's reinforced in this book, actually, as the only guy in this book who is shown to like poetry and literature is the villain!

The watery relationship between Xavier and Bethany is also put on a pedestal, and there are multiple times throughout this book where Bethany ditches her friends to be with Xavier, and even says that having a boyfriend is much more important than having friends. Which is… a very toxic thought. How many sayings are there that look down upon people who ditch their friends for a boy/girlfriend? It's clear Halo has never heard of the saying "chicks before dicks" or even "bros before hos." I know I have stated before that Bethany is a shitty person and is very selfish, but this is just the cherry on top. It's hard to believe she is an angel. Ditching your friends for a boy or girlfriend makes you a shitty friend, end of story.

Other little instances that make this relationship out to be toxic is that Bethany and Xavier are always around one another, and when they aren't together in a scene, Bethany whines about how she feels empty and "aches" when not with Xavier, reinforcing the idea that women need a man, which again, is misogynistic. Plus, the fact that these two are so codependent on one another, and can't do anything without one another is just… unhealthy.

Lastly, there is a huge implication throughout this book that Bethany and Xavier's romance and relationship together is more pure, more meaningful, and better than other characters' relationships because Xavier and Bethany haven't had sex yet. Which is… just bullshit and just another way this book slut shames other women for their choices, whatever they may be.

I don't understand how anyone could look at this relationship between Bethany and Xavier and think it to be healthy or romantic. I have met people who had been in similar relationships to this, and guess what? Those relationships didn't last, and turned out to be abusive.

No surprise there, though.

The Ideology:

This… book… I am hesitant to call it a book, is just trying to preach borderline evangelical Christian ideas. It has transphobic and homophobic implications, views women as being lesser than men, and is so set in its gender roles, it's absolutely creepy. It degrades "feminist ideals" such as women having choices and being independent, and all of that is all wrapped up in a story that holds no weight itself. Plus, not only is it misogynistic, it also has several examples of misandry as well, degrading men who show emotions and painting every man in this book besides Xavier and Gabriel to be these awful people who only care about sex and are potential rapists, as well as stupid to boot.

Honestly, if it wasn't for the toxic yet smug messages in this book, I wouldn't be so infuriated with it. If it was just your standard shitty YA book, I wouldn't have even finished it, and would've tossed it to the side. But unfortunately, I couldn't do that. In this book, if you are not exactly like the angels or Xavier, you are a terrible person, and deserve to be pitied. What a hateful set of ideals.

Recommendation and Final Thoughts:

I can't recommend this book to anyone, really. I mean, if you're looking for a shitty book to laugh at because it's so terrible, pick up Life and Death by Stephenie Meyer or 50 Shades of Gray, not this garbage. Hell, go google My immortal and read that. It's free.

If you are insecure to the point of tears in your writing style, and need a book to read to show you that, hey, least you're better than this, then go ahead and pick up Halo. If you need to read a book to show exactly what not to do when writing angels, then pick up and read Halo. Those two types of people are all that I can recommend this too and even then, I don't recommend reading the entire thing.

Halo is one of the worst books I have ever read, if not the worst. I had originally planned to read the entire series, and I bet there are other offensive things in the sequels, but I just can't bring myself to do it, and I am sorry about that.

Halo is one of the worst books I have ever read. It's offensive and has almost every YA cliche. 0/10, would never ever recommend.

[rongasm]

Hi! I was wondering if you had any writing tips in general? I'm a huge fan of your writing, it's incredible. I love writing stories, but sometimes I find myself having writers block that eventually results with me believing my writing is trash and I stop 😅 I hope you have a great weekend, and thank you for instilling new found hope in Stydia! We made it!

Here’s my, like, writing holy grail rules: 

Read your dialogue out loud. Like, you need to use lots of contractions, have your characters stumble over their words. The hallmark of bad dialogue is dialogue that sounds like it was written. 

Read books. Poetry, especially-- I would recommend Bluets by Maggie Nelson and The Princess Saves Herself In This One by Amanda Lovelace. Learn how to incorporate different genres into your writing. Learn what you think is pretty, what you don’t like, what makes your heart stop, what makes you roll your eyes. Collect pieces of other people’s writing and fold it into yours. Not their direct lines, but their style. 

(This also applies to fanfiction and other types of amateur writing. One summer I spent six weeks at a writing camp with other people my age, and my writing changed for good. It was truly never the same again because of this one girl named Claire who wrote so beautifully, it changed me forever.) 

Write a story you want to read. I write stuff that I would love to read or watch because I know nobody’s gonna do it for me. And because of that, I’m always excited to write and I’m never out of ideas. 

Make a plan. The enemy of productivity is chaos. Plan out what’s going to happen in your fic. Know where it starts, where it ends, and what scenes you want to make sure you include. Know how you want your characters to grow. 

Be nice to yourself. Later on, you’re gonna have to edit and tear your stuff apart, but when you’re writing, go back and reread some stuff you’ve done and compliment yourself. Be like “hey that’s a funny line” or “NOICE what a hella pretty sentence!” Encourage yourself. 

Walk around with your fic for a little. Don’t write it down right away, and especially don’t write it right away. Daydream it. Think about it when you’re falling asleep at night. Think about it when you’re listening to music. Think about it when you’re taking a shower. Write your first draft in your head, and I promise, draft 2 that’s actually on paper will be better for it. 

Get yourself a cheerleader. Have a friend who has a stake in the story, who you can talk to when you’re stuck, who will get all excited about it with you. It’s always good to have someone to  talk to when you need to iron out kinks, and sometimes they even give you incredible ideas that you never would have had without them. Plus, insta-beta reader. Boom. 

Side note: Have a beta reader. And I know you don’t want to, but reread. Edit. Pay careful attention to sentences that seem clunky, that don’t flow well, that don’t fit your style. People notice when stuff is chunky, so don’t let yourself off the hook. (I often let myself off the hook and my beta readers have to clean it up.) 

Have a So What? So you’re writing a thing. Why? What’s the point? Why is the reader slugging through all this text to reach a conclusion? What’s the “so what” of your piece? Which leads me to…

Learn through your writing. I use writing as a tool to work through my issues, to figure out what i believe about something, to make myself feel like I’m going through something even when I’m sitting in a chair at my desk in my sweatpants. I truly, genuinely do not believe that you simply have to write what you know. In fact, I think that’s stupid. If I had done that, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I wouldn’t understand myself the way I do. So don’t write what you know– use the tools offered to you through your experiences, through books you’ve read, through movies you’ve watched, to write what you’re curious about. if you’re scared of something or yearning for something, there’s a reason. Find out what that is. 

Hope this helps!

[glenngaylord]

THERE’S ALMOST NOTHING HERE THAT WASN’T THERE BEFORE - My Review of BEAUTY AND THE BEAST (2 1/2 Stars)

I loved the 1991 BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, which has the distinction of being the first animated feature to secure a Best Picture Oscar nomination.  Who can forget that chandelier as our leads waltzed around it, or those hummable songs, or Belle’s swift opening number as she prances through the streets of her village and ends up, SOUND OF MUSIC-style on a hilltop as she belts the final notes?  I don’t mind remakes or reboots if they introduce material to newer generations, especially when they look at it through a more-evolved lens.  I think of the remakes of INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS as a fine example where the filmmakers melded the original themes with the political climate of the times in which they remade it.  

With this new, “live action” version of the acclaimed film, director Bill Condon (GODS AND MONSTERS, DREAMGIRLS), along with screenwriters,  Stephen Chbosky (THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER) and  Evan Spiliotopoulos (THE HUNTSMAN: WINTER’S WAR) have crafted a beautiful, effective film, with some fine performances, but, nonetheless, redundant, reductive, and riddled with minor flaws which contribute to my overall feeling of “Meh!”.  You’ll probably walk away a little dazzled by the overload of production design and glorious melodies, but in the end, it’s a well-timed “Make America Great Again” version here.

Emma Watson, with her wry smile, cutely crinkled eyes and pure singing voice, capably plays Belle, a tough-minded young woman who longs for something more than what her little village has to offer.  We know she’s enterprising when she carves out her own soap and designs a very clever way to…wait for it…do her laundry.  She’s spunky but still in the service of the patriarchy!   If only she could meet the right guy, and that’s definitely not Gaston (a scene-stealing, booming-voiced Luke Evans).  In today’s world, this villain would be married to his selfie stick and his shirtless Insta-posts.  Back to that opening number.  While the editing-on-the-beat suggested the TRADITION number from FIDDLER ON THE ROOF, the way it was shot left me with a bad first impression. I hate to nitpick, but it bothered me that Belle walked so slowly as she sang.  Energy, folks!  Energy!  It’s the opener!  Can’t she skip through the streets?  When she arrives on the hilltop, she needed to hit a big final note as the camera swirled around her.  Instead, it just didn’t land.  

We meet the real Prince Charming (Dan Stevens) when we learn about the curse placed on him and his castle staff.  It’s an extremely hammy opening, with Audra McDonald and Stanley Tucci apparently auditioning for Ken Russell’s remake of LISZTOMANIA!  There are enough pulled faces and powdered wigs in this sequence to justify that.  Plus, tit make it difficult to recognize Stevens later on.  

Now here’s where things really went off the rails for me.  This was supposed to be the live action version, but so much of it is CGI.  From the Beast’s face to all of the castle staff, we’re basically watching another animated film, and in this case, to less than satisfying results.  I didn’t like the painted moving mouths on Chip and Mrs. Potts.  They’re way less expressive than in the animated original.  Same goes for Lumiere and the over-the-top Madame Garderobe, the wardrobe (McDonald again).  And the chandelier during the title song?  He duffs it!!  If you're gonna repeat the original almost entirely, you may as well swoop around that damn hanging light!  Condon instead goes for a twirling shot looking up at some beautiful ceiling lights, which is fine, but just not THE MOMENT I was hoping to experience.  

Still, the film has pleasures galore.  The additional songs, especially the lovely, crescendoing EVERMORE, as sung by The Beast, is an instant earworm and a certain Oscar nominee.  I heard it once and can already sing it, and that’s a rarity.  Gaston’s song plays out well, especially when he spits across the room.  Josh Gad, as his faithful LeFou, gets his share of laughs and takes part in that much-talked about “gay moment”.  It’s actually a blink-and-you’ll miss it shot, and in this blissfully unaware film, implies that gay guys in dresses are FUNNY!

This brings me to my point about this being the perfect film for the Trump Era.  If the filmmakers truly wanted to update this story, wouldn’t it have made more sense for Belle to not be as into the Prince, but actually pines for the Beast?  Even SHREK made that point!  Here, it’s vaguely looks-ist.  

None of this seems to matter, as audiences worldwide are flooding theaters to see this.  I’m actually glad, since that stupid anti-gay boycott clearly hasn’t worked.  It’s a gorgeously-made movie and I love the music…but all it makes me want to do is watch the animated version again.