#here's my original bullshit :DD

[mizho-babe]

Halloween Party

A Mizho/Paresse fic I've had in my tumblr drafts for years now. Hope you enjoy :)

Summary – AU prompt: “I came to the Halloween party as Frankenstein and you came as Frankenstein’s Bride, now everyone thinks we’re dates”

Pairing - Mizho/Paresse Word Count – 4,431 Rating/Warnings - T - swearing, irresponsible drinking, flip cup

Mizho took a scoop of the spiked punch and poured it right back where it came from, the bits of fruit, fake spiders, and glitter falling out of the ladle into a brown, murky bowl. Her dark-painted lips downturned into a disdainful pout. 

Her brother, Rage, dressed as Freddy Kreuger, shared the same disgusted expression. “I’m not drinking that.”

“Absolutely not.” Mizho agreed. She was dressed as the Bride of Frankenstein’s Monster, complete with the dark makeup, bandages wrapped around her arms, and black & white streaks through her hair. Instead of a long caped dress she opted for a too-short white bandage dress. (Costume be damned, Mizho didn’t do long & drapey clothes)

“Stop being pussies,” Vice, wearing a dark tattered cloak & a Ghost Face mask, drunkenly snatched the ladle from Mizho and poured himself a large portion into his red solo cup.

“There’s literally a dirty sock in there.” Mizho deadpanned.

“Well then stick to shots!” Fussa loudly slurred next to them. He was dressed in what Mizho thought was the laziest costume - a 70s disco jockey, which required no effort on his part except to keep his sunglasses on and to wear a patterned shirt. Despite being obviously drunk, he was expertly cutting several limes with a large machete, a costume prop someone had left behind in the kitchen.

Vice chugged his cup before burping loudly. “Isn’t that guy supposed to be your DD?”

“He’s also way too old to be here.” Mizho chimed in.

“I’m also your manager and producer, '' Fussa added, shooting daggers at Mizho for suggesting that he wasn’t young. “Making sure my stars don’t ruin their music careers with a stupid scandal at this random party in the middle of bumble fuck.”

“We just performed at the local amphitheater.” Rage said. “If anything, blacking out here will cement our legacy with these people.”

“And it’ll all be worth it.” Mizho said sarcastically. 

“I see someone is still in a bitchy mood that they couldn't go to some bullshit movie.” Rage glared.

“It was Nosferatu! The original vampire movie.” Mizho had only agreed to visit this town on their fall tour because it was home to a famous vintage film center that only showed movies before the 1950’s. That Friday, the theater was screening one of her favorite old horror movies, but of course, it was the same night as their concert.

“You’re such a nerdy freak.” Vice sneered. “I don’t even know what your costume is supposed to be. A pirate covered in striped toilet paper?”

“Watch it.” Rage scowled, his temper flaring up as it always did when someone made a reference to Mizho’s eyepatch.

“It’s the Bride of Frankenstein’s Monster, moron.”

“Bride of Franka-whata?”

“You’re an idiot.”

“These shots aren’t going to drink themselves!” Fussa interrupted, almost maniacally giggling as he pushed the shot glasses over to them, the liquor spilling over the small glasses’ edges onto the kitchen counter.

The group downed the shots, Vice and Fussa’s faces souring - and Rage and Mizho remaining stoic.

“You kids,” Fussa chased with his lime slice. “I don’t know how you handle your liquor so well.”

“Hey!!” Orgullo stuck his large redhead in from the kitchen window. “Your drummer is getting his ass beat in the backyard.”

“For fuck’s sake.” Fussa pinched his nose bridge, still wobbly from the shot. “There’s always something.”

“Also your boyfriend is outside by the tree if you were looking for him.” Orgullo continued, looking at Mizho.

“Huh?” Mizho kept her arms crossed but glanced around to see if the bulky redhead was in fact speaking to someone else near her.

A loud shout and a crash was heard from outside and Orgullo left the window before he could respond.

“Boyfriend?” Rage looked at her, and Mizho could tell by his voice that he was slightly inflamed. It was cute that he was still a protective older brother at their adult age. It almost made Mizho forget that just hours earlier, they were screaming in each other’s faces because she was taking too long to do her makeup in the bathroom.

“No idea.”

“We’re all shitfaced here.” Vice said. “I bet Orgullo doesn't even know who your drummer is.”

“It’s probably him.” Fussa and Rage said in tandem. While Fussa has been trying to shape them up into a respectable indie band, their drummer was proving to be a bit of a hassle, constantly picking fights with the backstage crew and pushing back on Fussa in the recording studio.

“I’ve been telling you guys that he sucks. Plus he bores the hell out of me when he rambles on the tour bus.” Mizho said.

“Everyone bores you Mizho.” Fussa pointed out.

“I wanna see this fight.” Vice had poured himself another tequila shot and slammed it down on the counter. “I’m bored by this fuckin’ party and I need some entertainment.”

“Help me murder - and fire - this piece of shit drummer and I guarantee you it will be fun.” Fussa sighed and cracked his back, getting ready to go outside.

“You gonna be alright?” Rage said to his sister, more of a statement than a question. He knew she could handle herself.

“Yeah. I’ll just ask my ‘boyfriend’ to save me if I need help.” Mizho responded. Rage rolled his eyes.

“Catch you later.” Rage adjusted his black Kreuger hat on, hiding his long blonde hair underneath it, and ran away with Vice and Fussa.

Mizho looked around, realizing she was alone in the derelict kitchen with only drunk party goers raiding the fridge or throwing up in the sink.

–

Standing outside by a tree, Paresse narrowly avoided being decapitated by ducking just as a machete threw past his head and lodged unto the trunk of the tree. 

“FUCKING STOP YOU ASSHOLES” a guy wearing a red striped Freddy Kreuger-esque shirt roared as he, a 70s disco man, and Ghost Face ran into the growing crowd near the backyard pool.

Paresse shrugged and drained his beer, deciding he wanted a new drink if he was going to watch the rest of this fight, and turned to head inside the house.

As soon as he walked in, he realized he was a bit overdressed. It was already an atypically warm October night, but the temperature inside the house felt like a sweltering hotbox, the dark lights casting neon purples, blues, and greens across the slick wooden floors. Everyone looked sweaty, drunk, and purposefully underdressed.

Paresse did not like parties one bit. He didn't care if it sounded pretentious - he much preferred staying home and sleeping after work. The pulsating beats, the crowded spaces, and the forced small talk were a trifecta of discomfort for him. The chaos of a party only served to drain him, leaving him yearning for the tranquility of his room, where he could immerse himself in the rhythmic hum of his drum kit or the soothing melodies of his favorite dark tunes. The idea of navigating through a sea of strangers, feigning enthusiasm, felt like an exhausting ordeal. Paresse had mastered the art of evasion, often slipping away unnoticed to the outskirts of the gathering, finding solace in the shadows rather than the spotlight.

He was only dragged here on short notice by his cousin and roommate Desir, who also insisted that they follow the party’s Halloween theme. He was woken up on his day off today at 3pm by Desir throwing shirts and sweatpants out of his closet. Since he only had black & dark green clothes, Desir decided to dress him as Frankenstein’s Monster, layering his black blazer on top of his faded olive t shirt. Paresse was too tired to protest when Desir finished off by covering his face and neck in green face paint, and covering his sand-colored hair with a black wig outfitted with the iconic bolts on each side.

Now, Paresse could feel the heat on his back. Wearing a heavy oversized blazer maybe wasn’t the right fashion choice by his stylist.

“Bro.” Two drunk guys bumped into him, and instead of apologizing they looked up at him and reached their hands out to dap him up. “Your girl is bad, I need a piece of that.”

Paresse had no time to be confused, as his cousin also happened to bump into him straight afterwards.

“HAH! There you are!” Desir, costumed in a white & red suit as Tony Montana, was carrying a bottle of whiskey, and behind him Paresse could see he was already building a harem of drunk men & women who were all hanging onto his arm.

“Where are the drinks?” 

Desir gestured backwards with his chin. “There’s a couple of coolers by the kitchen.”

“Thanks.”

Desir reached up and dusted a leaf off Paresse’s shoulder, the bottle of whiskey bumping into Paresse’s chest as he did so. “Why does it look like you’ve just fallen out of a tree?”

“There’s a brawl happening outside.” Paresse simply replied, as if that explained everything.

“Hm. I heard there’s a band touring in town this weekend.” Desir mused. “Apparently they are a hot-headed bunch.”

“You’re saying that like it’s a good thing.”

“Oh it is. I came here for dinner and a show.” Desir winked and moved past Paresse out the door, his followers giggling & chatting behind him. “Have fun, Frankenstein!”

“Frankenstein’s Monster.” Paresse mumbled.

Paresse’s plan of action was to get a drink, maybe another beer, and then blend in with a dark corner somewhere in the backyard until Desir had enough fun & they could leave. Considering what happened last time Desir dragged him out for a party……it was going to be a long night.

Meanwhile, Mizho sipped from a can of hard seltzer as she wandered through the rooms of the house. She thanked herself for wearing her heavy platform lace-up boots tonight, as the floor was slick with alcohol, and she saw multiple drunk casualties as people tripped and spilled their drink all over themselves. Not to mention some random asshole tried grabbing her ass, and she had to swiftly stomp down on his foot, almost breaking it as he squealed and ran away.

She was getting bored of all this.

“Oh my God,” a girl stopped in front of Mizho and squealed. “Your couple’s costumes are so cute! My favorite tonight!!”

“...Thank you.” Mizho responded, not sure how else to react. She scanned the room she was in but couldn’t find anyone else dressed up as Frankenstein’s Bride. Lots of Marvel superheroes, witches, and inflatable dinosaurs, but no tortured Mary Shelley monsters. 

She moved from that room to the main living room, where a DJ had his setup ontop of a bunch of cardboard boxes in the corner. The music was blasting, and it looked like there was an impromptu dance competition in the middle of the room. People were constantly walking through the crowd, their costumes & faces going in and out of the neon lights as they passed by.

Mizho decided to stand against the wall right in front of a cooler and claim the rest of the contents as hers. She did not enjoy parties not because she was anti-social (ok, maybe she was), but because the chaotic energy, deafening music, and over-the-top debauchery simply weren't her scene. Mizho preferred the calm of a dimly lit vintage movie theater, the subtle thrill of a suspenseful horror novel, or the solitary introspection of her music studio. In this sea of raucous laughter and blaring beats, she found solace in observing the madness from her vantage point. If there was anything good about these large parties, they made for good distractions, and Mizho relished the notion of escaping into her own world, even if it meant standing against a wall and claiming a cooler of drinks as her makeshift throne.

“Excuse me.”

Mizho looked up at the tall - too tall - man. He had a layer of green paint covering his face and neck, his black wig almost brushing against the room’s low ceiling.

He was so tall that she had to tilt her head all the way back to make eye contact with him.

“So… you’re the Monster.” The boyfriend and couples costume remarks clicked for Mizho, staring up at the man. His costume was genius in its simplicity, perfectly matching her more dramatic getup.

Paresse looked down at the girl dressed as Frankenstein’s Bride, instantly understanding the comment those two random guys gave him earlier. Her white mini dress showed off her curves in the best way. He couldnt help but give her a once-over, his eyes scanning up past her legs, her hips; past her chest to her face. Her face had soft feminine features, tempered by her fierce feline-shaped left eye and a leather eyepatch over her right eye. Definitely the most beautiful girl he had seen in a long while, maybe ever, in this town.

“Some party, huh.” Paresse said, immediately kicking himself for the stupid conversation starter. Usually he didn’t converse with anyone, much less an attractive woman, and he didn’t mind that, but that lack of experience did not come in handy now.

Mizho raised a hand to her ear, pretending she couldn’t hear him.

“I said-“ Paresse spoke louder over the pounding bass beat. “So you’re Frankenstein’s Bride, huh?”

“Mmm. Yeah.” Mizho replied, amused that he switched up his response on the second try for her. This guy wasn’t her type, at least from what she could tell in the dark room, but he had a nice voice.

Paresse paused, remembering that he wanted a drink from the cooler she was standing in front of, and abruptly forgetting about it when he locked eyes with her again.

“Apparently we have the best couple’s costume here.” Mizho filled the dead air. She was used to people attempting and failing to talk to her. Might as well throw this guy a bone to pass the time.

“...I mean… look at the competition." Paresse gestured subtly to the crowd, where various costumes ranged from the mundane to the downright bizarre. As he turned his head to the side, the strobe lights shined on the side of his face, illuminating his strong jawline & facial features to Mizho.

She followed his gaze, her lips quirking into a smirk. "Yeah, hard to believe someone thought dressing as a giant banana was a good idea."

The DJ, stationed at a makeshift booth with blaring speakers, grabbed the microphone, his voice booming over the lively crowd. "Alright, party people! Who's up for a game of flip cup? It's time to show off those drinking skillz!"

Mizho pulled her attention from the tall Monster and rolled her eyes at the suggestion. "Flip cup? Seriously? I thought we were at a party, not a college frat gathering."

Her snide comment caught the attention of the DJ, who decided to play along. "Well, well, well, looks like we got a flip cup critic over here. How about you and maybe your boyfriend there come down and show everyone how it's done?"

Mizho sighed, her sarcasm undeterred. "Sure, why not? I could use a good laugh."

As she made her way to the impromptu flip cup table, Paresse observed her from a distance.  Despite her petite frame, Mizho emanated confidence and a subtle defiance that piqued his curiosity.

The DJ handed Mizho a red solo cup, a smirk on his face. "Let's see if you're as good as your mouth."

Mizho shot him a dry look as several men in the crowd laughed and whistled. Her opponent, a woman dressed as a butterfly, already looked at her with deep condenscension.

“Your costume is dumb.” The girl drunkenly said.

“So is your face.”

“Stupid comeback.”

“Not as stupid as your boyfriend,” she glanced with her one eye at the girl’s partner, whom Paresse recognized as the one of the guys that bumped into him earlier. “He tried grabbing my ass earlier. Ask him why he’s been limping all night.”

The girl, enraptured, threw her red cup of jungle juice on the front of Mizho’s dress, staining the white ribbed material red. Paresse noticed the juice dripped down her chest, right in between her cleavage, and he shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

“Oops!” The girl snickered before returning to her posse on the other side of the table.

Mizho looked down at her ruined, red-blotched dress, silent but the tall man could see her full lips were in a large, rageful frown.

Mizho looked up at Paresse, and he nodded in silent agreement. “Let’s kick her ass.”

They approached the table, lined with 8 beer-filled cups on each side. 

“You any good at flip cup?” Mizho looked at Paresse. She unwrapped her costume’s white bandages from her hands, hoping her partner wouldn't catch on to the fact that she has only watched her older brother & his dumbass friends play these kinds of drinking games - she’s never played them herself.

Paresse, still processing the unexpected turn of events, shrugged. "Yeah, I'm not bad."

“We have our opposing team now!” The DJ announced. “We have Frankenstein-”

“Frankenstein’s Monster.” Paresse and Mizho corrected at the same time, and looked at each other, caught off guard by their in-sync response.

“-And his Bride!” the DJ finished the introductions, waving his hand at the players.

“"Alright, party people! Gather 'round, here are the rules of the game in a nutshell: you and your date must chug each solo cup like you're the thirstiest duo in town, then channel your inner acrobat and flip that cup upside down! First team to flip all 6 cups wins the round!”

A buff guy blew a blaring horn and the first round began. Paresse quickly picked up the first cup and dunked it back before laying the cup on the edge of the table. He flipped it on the first try, and looked to see Mizho was already drinking her cup before she also positioned it on the table and flipped it. They won the first round with ease, with the other couple barely making it past the second cup.

“You’re actually good at this.” Mizho raised an eyebrow of surprise.

Paresse’s neck got a little hot from the compliment. “I’m a drummer, I have somewhat good hand-eye coordination.” He looked off to the side and noticed Desir had entered the house again and was casually watching on the sidelines.

“She’s hot.” Desir mouthed to Paresse, gesturing with his bottle at the petite woman he was playing flip cup with. “Get it in.”

The beginner’s luck didn’t last as they lost the second round, which resulted in Mizho having a brief but screechy argument with the DJ over whether or not the other couple cheated.

Paresse, now fully feeling the heat and the multiple cups of beer, shrugged off his blazer for the third round, revealing surprisingly large biceps to Mizho. She blinked multiple times. Maybe the alcohol was distorting her vision. 

After four rounds, it was a tie for 2-2. Paresse cannot remember the last time he was this active outside of drum practice. His throat burned, and his green face paint was gone after all of the drinks he’s had.

“All right,” the DJ yelled on the mic. “Time for sudden death.” 

“Choose one player to do this last round…. And they’re SHOTSSSS” 

They poured 8 shots into the solo cups on the table. Paresse felt woozy just looking at the clear liquid in the cups. He looked over at Mizho and she was staring straight forward, not even blinking.

“I got this.” He immediately said, even though all he wanted to do was call quits on this stupid drinking game.

“No, I got this.”

“I don’t think so.” He was already drunk, and she was half his size. No way was she going to handle 8 shots in a row.

Mizho grabbed his shoulder - as far up as her arm could reach - and violently pulled his face down close to hers.

“This is my round.” Mizho stared, her hazel eye dangerously narrowed.

Intimidated, and a little turned on, Paresse nodded and Mizho let him go & stepped in front of the table.

When they blew the horn, Mizho knocked back the first shot with precision, her eye closing in silent acceptance that tomorrow’s hangover was going to suck. While the other person’s strategy was to take shot after shot in quick succession, Mizho took a brief pause between each cup to take a deep breath. At the last cup, she decided to just go straight for it, drinking the shot and then flipping the cup - while her opponent couldn’t even finish, rushing away before his last cup to throw up in a garbage can.

The crowd cheered. Mizho remained stone-faced, and Paresse couldn’t tell if she was all right or completely gone. 

Everyone cheered, including the girl who had originally thrown her drink at Mizho. Mizho caught sight of her, and she reached under the table for the remaining bottle of Malibu. Paresse watched - in slow motion, doing nothing to stop it - as Mizho unscrewed the cap and poured the entire bottle on top of the girl’s head.

Paresse placed a light hand on Mizho’s shoulder and pulled her away from the now-screaming and drenched girl, slightly scared that Mizho was going to flip and target him next. “Let’s… go outside.”

He gently pushed her through the crowd and out the front door, his large hands completely covering her tiny shoulders. Halfway to the door, it hit Mizho that she had actually poured the bottle on that girl and she started cackling.

Her laugh rang clearer once they were outside in the night air, and the sound made Paresse smile, and then eventually crack up as well.

Their gazes locked, and a shared realization dawned upon them. The absurdity of their presence at this party, winning in a drinking game, struck a chord with their typically reserved personalities, prompting peals of more laughter that echoed on the front porch.

“I don't even think I caught your name.” Paresse admitted, still catching his breath.

“Mizho.” 

“Paresse.”

“Back there,” Mizho flipped her hair, the ice now fully broken. “You mentioned you were a drummer?”

“Yeah, I mostly do studio sessions and substituting at local bars whenever they need someone.” Paresse mumbled ‘fuck it’ and took his wig on, revealing his messy sand-colored hair.

“Nice.” Mizho paused, studying him with a discerning gaze. “I’m a singer.”

Paresse could see it. She had the looks and the dont-fuck-with-me attitude that one needed in the entertainment industry. Plus, and most importantly, now that they were in a quiet area, Paresse could also tell that her voice was smooth and youthful.

“My band and I are in town for the weekend.” Mizho continued, after a beat.

“So you’re the group that performed at the amphitheater.”

“Did you go?”

“No,” Paresse said, hoping that wouldn’t turn her off. “….I was at a movie.”

“What movie?”

Paresse shifted, continuing to hope that he wouldn’t look like a total loser. “Nosferatu. The original one.”

Mizho’s eye widened. “No fucking way. I wanted to go to that.”

“Really?” Paresse cracked a small smile. "You… have excellent taste. It was a rare chance to catch it on the big screen."

Mizho's eye sparkled with enthusiasm and it made Paresse’s heart beat faster. "Absolutely. The atmosphere, the darkness in every scene, it's a horror masterpiece. I can't believe I missed it."

"Well, you had a memorable alternative tonight," Paresse remarked, gesturing vaguely towards the chaotic party behind them. 

Mizho let out a brief chuckle, the melodious sound blending seamlessly with the night air. "True. I guess this was entertaining.”

As they continued talking, it became evident that their perspectives on parties were remarkably similar. Both not fond of the raucous energy, they preferred the quieter, more introspective pursuits. Mizho's disdain for parties was rooted in her appreciation for vintage media and the solace of her music, while Paresse, being a drummer, found comfort in the calm after a day's work.

Paresse couldn't help but be captivated by her presence—the way her eyes lit up when talking about music, the subtle nuances in her expressions, and the confident yet enigmatic aura she exuded.

“I've been playing drums since forever.” Paresse looked beyond the porch at the line of cars in the driveway and on the street. “It's a bit of a cliché, but it's my passion.”

Mizho smirked, leaning forward on the porch railings next to him. “Well, clichés exist for a reason. I'm guessing you have a favorite genre?”

He nodded. “Rock, mostly. But I appreciate the rhythm in other genres. How about you? What's your favorite style to sing?”

“Rock suits me too. Something about belting out powerful lyrics just feels right.” Mizho paused, unexpectedly shy for a moment. “Though, I do have a soft spot for French jazz sometimes.”

Paresse nodded, and Mizho thought that his calm demeanor was a breath of fresh air among the asshole men she usually spent her days with.

"So, what's your verdict on this party?" Paresse asked, genuinely curious.

Mizho smirked, her hazel eye gleaming mischievously. "Not sure if it was interesting or just utterly bizarre, but I suppose it's a story to tell. How about you?"

Paresse chuckled. "I'm with you on that. Tonight's been... unexpectedly entertaining."

They exchanged a knowing glance. The silence that fell between them felt natural, and Paresse could feel the anticipation and a subtle tension in the air.

The magnetic pull between them intensified, and Mizho, feeling a surge of boldness, teased, "Are you always this chatty with your studio mates?"

Paresse chuckled and answered honestly. “Not at all.”

She closed the gap between them and kissed him, Paresse hesitating before snaking his hand down her back, and another through her long hair. The touch of Paresse's hand in her hair sent shivers down her spine, and she deepened the kiss, her arms wrapping around his broad shoulders.

“Hey…” he breathed when they broke away. “Wanna get out of here?”

“Sure,” Mizho suggestively smirked, before spotting,  over Paresse’s shoulder, her brother in the backyard catching sight of them. Rage looked at Mizho, then at Paresse - one hand on her ass, another in her hair - and started storming over. 

“Did I mention my band needs a new drummer?” Mizho quickly said. 

“...No,” Paresse continued kissing her cheek, and then her neck. “You haven’t.”

“Hmm. Okay, just thought you should know that for when you’re trying to get back on my brother’s good side.”

“What-” Paresse started, before being interrupted by Mizho pulling him back down for another kiss.

[emeritus-fuckers]

how do you do, fellow queers, look how fucking professional i'm being this time, sending an ask like commonfolk/j

for the match-up re-run bc i wanna see nyx struggle with repugnant <3

1. Your identity! i'm sorry for the research nyx

i can very proudly call myself a faggot. my pronouns are they/she/he/xey/per/ghoul, but i'm slowly moving away from the "standard" ones. multigender, but they're all xenogender (ghoulgender, ghoulettegender, gooregender, chaosgender). multisexual (pansexual, asexual, lesbian, aegosexual, orchidsexual, berrisexual). aroallo (aegoromantic, desinoromantic, grayromantic, demiromantic). autistic. theistic satanist.

2. Who do you like?

repugnant. death metal racoons my beloved.

3. What do you look like?

there's a picture. i just dress more like a metalhead now. still wearing too much jewelry. i'm still short (it is a tragedy).

4. What's your personality?

i hate whoever came up with these questions (ekhem, myself).

ISTP-T, according to a quiz i did just before writing this. i'm relatively apathetic, only ever getting truly emotional when i'm overwhelmed. touch-repulsed, but touch-starved when it comes to people close to me. i'm quiet and distant around strangers, but get talkative and open with friends. i struggle with serious self-esteem issues (diagnosed depression, cheers) and i get very anxious about my friends just not liking me anymore and usually need to be yelled at to get my shit together. and then cuddled because i got yelled at. my relationship with emotions is complicated, as i only feel a very faint outline of an emotion most of the time, but i've learned to adapt to it over time and i'm pretty good at adapting my behavior so it looks like i feel a complete emotion.

when it comes to affection, i'm like a cat. i love it, but only when i want it. otherwise i will run away. i also show it in inconvenient ways, i suppose, like randomly grabbing my friends with a weird noise or sometimes (if we're really close) biting them. i feel very uncomfortable around most children, so i despise them.

5. Tell us about your interests!

i'd say repugnant, ghost and in this moment would be my top three bands to listen to, but i also like vocaloid and dolly parton. i always have to have something playing in the background or it's too quiet for me and i lose my shit. i like to read, but i much prefer to overanalyze everything and come up with ridiculous theories and headcanons to write about (i think emeritus-fuckers is proof of that). I like writing, but only stuff i actually enjoy writing, not whatever bullshit they're coming up with for uni. I can't write porn, yet people seem to think that i can, which is honestly hilarious to me.

i like making bracelets and other arts and crafts things, though i suck at it and usually it looks like trash.

i like video games, mostly sims 4 (finally figured out how to furnish it hallelujah) right now, but i like classic assassin's creed games (which means everything that came out before Origins/Odyssey bc fuck i hate these), the saints row series and skyrim too. and uncharted, too. and i guess tekken, but i'm just there for the hotties tbh.

i don't really watch movies, but if i had to pick a favorite, it would either be scream, pearl or shrek.

6. Trivia time!

i know way too much about butterflies and moths.

i have a framed attacus atlas.

my favorite food is instant cupped carbonara.

i have a dog (everyone has seen her at this point tbh).

i have a figurine of the batman who laughs and his three robins.

i love juice. especially apple-cherry juice.

i'm a terrible cook, i can make like three dishes and that's it.

i hate working under pressure and/or with deadlines.

i have a rather controversial sense of humor.

i love wearing too much jewelry.

i adore matching things, from jewelry to tattoos.

and here's a few pics of my cuddle monster.

This post is part of the 1000 followers match up event. Entries for the event are now closed.

Your match is…Mary Goore... and DD Sars... and kinda the rest of the band...

Hear me out on this haha, I have spent way too much time thinking about this and well you'll see XD - Nyx

So you met Mary first. They thought you looked cool so they went over to you.

You got chatting and you just kinda clicked with each other. Especially since you both have a controversial sense of humour. Mary enjoys throwing a few playful insults at you and getting all of that back and some.

You met up a few more times, enough so that you became comortable around Mary and them you. Although there was a discussion about your boundaries when you had to explain that you are like a cat, you only want affection when you are in the mood. Which of course Mary respected.

Mary after really getting to know you declared you one of their favourite ever people by lightly biting your shoulder. (This was okay as you way of telling them the same was to display your affection with a bite.)

Mary then proudly introduced you to the rest of the band. You quickly became close with all of them as to be with Mary is to be with the band. When Mary mentioned you had a dog E. wanted to see lots of pictures. He just kinda quietly sat there as you scrolled through them.

You made them all bracelets, G. got very excited by this. You said they look like trash and DD just kinda rounded on you. He firmly told you about how they weren't trash and how could you be so stupid to think so low of yourself. You just kinda nodded and then spend the rest of the day being cuddled by G.

DD does however get you. He never says it to you but its shown through his actions. He will just quitly sit and listen if you want to talk about it. He might say that you are a fucking weirdo but his expression tells the real story. He understands you and he knows what its like to have a complicated realtionship with emotions. There is a really nice companionship you two have because of this.

Mary noticed how you look at DD like you want him to sit on your face. So one night they say to you while pointing at DD "all you have to do is ask, you know, DD would be more than happy to" and then they gave you a little wink. Mary left it with you, it's totally up to you if you want to follow through on that or not...

~

Written by Nyx

[sluttypuppy69]

The day I switched

One day two of my straight roommates had invited their girlfriends for cards against humanity and was guilted to leave my room and join them. Everyone has been drinking/smoking except for one of the girls (DD and/or fastfood Runner) So no surprise the card game got boring and the girls got everyone into playing Never have I ever. The game was interesting by having the rules if you didn't do it you put a finger down/have a drink and last one with any fingers up wins. I think the girl that was the most drunk of us all shamelessly did not hold back (even got me thinking I should try out the being straight thing) and honestly probably the best way to win. With everyone else including me down too 1 or 2 fingers Lil miss drunk porn star said "Had Sex With More Than One Person in one night" both roommates lost at the same time leaving me and the girls still in.My faded ass roommates immediately looked in my direction yelling "Bullshit", "put that last finger down!", "I've never seen you bring girls to your room" the other one upped him "Girls? He hasn't brought even one guy over!" Besides my mom and sister those two are the only ones I've told that I sleep with guys sometimes. I immediately wanted to say "I was grateful with you two accepting me and didn't want to make it uncomfortable by bringing a guy over just for sex" but instead was surrounded by the wide eyed girls like I was a celebrity or mythical creature bombarded by questions I wouldn't dare answer sober. Kinda funny that the girls after knowing were so engaged and the dudes were distant/quite/uninterested. Sober girl must have noticed too and teased them "what did you ask him when you y'all found out?" Without any hesitation I said "yeah just one, you're not going to try anything funny with me Right?" The girls bawled out laughing and tearing up and I swear I can feel the heat of embarrassment from my roommates red faces. Oh the drunk insecure toxic masculinity, roommate grabbed his girl and snarked "when was the last time you had any again" (Shit, so they were listening to me) "Like over a year since I've moved here in [redacted] but like I already mentioned that the fact that I've lost count with how many people I've slept I needed a break". I'm not a lip reader but in the moment I know he mouthed a drawn out "right". His girl must have saw it to and pulled away saying "I think you need another beer" while snatching his empty bottle and b-lining to the kitchen. He followed her stuttering that he could have gotten it himself. "WE ARE OUT ALREADY???!!!" echoed from the empty fridge. Sober girl with keys already twirling in hand shouting "You buy, I fly". No response from the kitchen for a while, Drunk girl brought her (yes he was hard, I only looked briefly.... Respectfully) seduced boyfriend back to the living room and handed his keys to his SUV to sober chick saying we are all going to a club called the [redacted]. "Isn't that a gay club?" the other roommate looking dumbfounded. " I'm being used as an excuse for the girls to experience a gay club, I should be upset buuuuuut. I low-key have been curious to go but too much of an introvert to go alone, got free ride there, somebody paid for my entry fee. My original party sat at the restaurant section to order food, told em I wasn't hungry and wanted too check out the rest of the club. While roaming around seeming like I was alone I didn't know it would attract sexual predators that offered tampered mixed drinks. The super touchy older looking man that have gotten me like 3 drinks complimented on how great I can hold my liquor before getting up for another. So now I'm at a gay club drunk out of my mind, and starting to get really hot and horny distracting from even questioning this abnormal irresistible urge of needing to be fucked. Somehow recognized a drop dead gorgeous blonde from the Psychiatric Ward (I guess the sexual tension from when we meet there never left) and we started dirty dancing, sloppy unsynchronized grinding, swallowing each other's faces. I reached down his pants and showed my hands into his underwear and started stroking his cock, I completely forgot or didn't care that there was literally other people dancing all around us. He yelled into my ear asking "You want me to FUCK YOU?!!!" I yelled something back at his ear "YOU'RE SO FUCKING HOT DUDE!!!!" He started asking how did i get here and I said with friends and grabbed my arm and put it over his shoulder and his arms around my waist and started helping me find them. That was the first time I've ever been embraced like that and I couldn't understand why I was liking it. My straight acting mind was conflicting that NO YOU SHOULDN'T LIKE THIS ITS FEMININE TO BE MANHANDLE TAKE HIS ARM OFF YOUR WASTE AND DO IT TO HIM. Not being sober made it easy to just ignorea my negative cognitive thinking (yeah only took alcohol and drugs to finally enjoy myself). This eye candy finally got me reunited with my party and made it very clear to them that "HE NEEDS TO GET HOME NOW, HE SAID HES HAD TO MUCH TO DRINK". I didn't argue because the truth was I wanted him in my bed so I can rail his dick inside me, I mean the other way around? Even drunk I knew my friends wouldn't want to hear that or let alone take me home for it either. So I let sexy man take control (seriously why am I liking being taken care off) for now. So it turns out he's friend brought him there and told me he let him know he's coming with me and that he'll text him to pick him up later, while my friends are wondering where he was going to sit. (MY MIND IS RACING BECAUSE I WANTED TO GO WITH HIM TO HAVE SEX AWAY FROM HOME BUT MY SLOW DRUNK ASS REALIZED I ALREADY AGREED THAT MY PLACE IS TOTALLY FINE) He sits on my lap (why did I want to be the one sitting on his lap), "you're really stocky, and I don't mean it in a bad way it's just my twig legs would snap under all the muscle" I just stupidly nodded my head in agreement because horny. He said my name in a surprised way then said in a sexual way "why do I feel something poking my leg?" The girls went "uououououo" and the guys said "really?" Him and I started laughing, locked eyes and started making out roughly. (FUCK WHY AM I SO ROCK HARD FOR THIS GUY, ITS THE BLONDE HAIR ISN'T, AND BABY BLUE EYES......DID HE JUST SUCK ON MY FAT LOWER LIP? UGH THAT FELT GOOD WHY HAS NO ONE DONE THAT BEFORE) I really can't remember or care how everyone reacted to me basically borderline having gay sex but still fully clothed (I know I have to have let some grunts slip) but somehow make it back to the apartment. Everything kinda slows down, me and him are talking about whatever in the dining room table. It's to late for the girls to go home so they crash in their boyfriend's rooms and the sober one sleeps in the living room futon. As everyone starts getting ready to sleep he notices my obvious huge bulge and feels it up and down a bit I'm wearing jeans so it's a little tight, but leaves nothing to the imagination) then he leans in with a concerned look on his face whispering "you do remember me mentioning to you before back at the ward that I can only top". I could feel heat and sweat swelling on my hole between my ass cheeks at the thought of bottoming for him, "duh" I lied. "Did I not mention that I'm a bottom at the ward, I lied again. He hints at the only door open and I nod and we go into my room (forgot to lock the door) I'm drunk AF and having a hard time taking my clothes off , he helps take off my shoes, then socks, and somehow jeans and before he can take my shirt off my door opens. I instinctively cover my rager, and it's my roommate looking at my guest and being extremely awkward "oh you're sleeping here, sorry my bad" and at first glance it looked like he was slamming my door but stopped just a hair before closing and then turning the nob to minimize noise and letting go slowly that I if a pin dropped you would have heard it even with this apartment carpeting. Before I could let go of a "wtf" the sexy stud gets up and locks the door, all I could let out is a measly apologetic thank you. He smiles and says that it happens and proceeds to start stripping all his clothes off. (MY DRUNK SLUTTY BRAIN IS RACING) I got myself up and took my shirt off. He let out a quick howl "your hairy af wolfman" while making himself comfortable on my bed by squeezing some lube on his hot rod. I let out a playful growl at his compliment and looked down at his fully erect cock that was going to go inside me. (my libido went........ out of control ) I was unable to resist ripping off my underwear and throw a leg over him to position my ass against his cock and aggressively start making out with him. My breathing gets notably louder as I start to slide my ass up and down against his slick cock coating up my hungry hole with lube completely.

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

7.7.24 Sunday

12:39 am

Still,have windblow...

I saw my book review list on classic stories...

See... 157 classic stories...

Ehem2x aside from Edgar Allan Poe ;) I deserve to be a Queenish ;)

Aside from these oldies authors books of Sidney Sheldon, Danielle Steel, Joy Fielding, Sue Grafton, Mary Higgins Clark( Books of Aunt Teresa--My adoptive mother ).

It is always good to book review!

1:41 am

Still, have windblow...

Still, thinking of money and I feel bitterish,super bitterish!!!

8:05 am

This somehow? bonjing Uncle DD went here to invite my nana to go there in their house to have breakfast with the mother of Aunt Karen. The mother of Aunt Karen said that why my nana is not going out anymore, to go there in their house beside us here...

Last night around 11 pm I saw that he fed Neko... Then, he just said that he went out with Neko this early am for his image, I think so...

11:13 am

Still,have windblow...

Before I forget, Uncle DD with his gang are cleaning outside....

Uncle Jun just woke-up few seconds ago and now in the kitchen. He looks as if there is an another person inside him...

11:43 am

Still,have windblow...

Nothing but egg and you!

I'm thinking of money and how to pay my loans and my vanities and my love life with my cousin-white, how to get him or to pull him away from other and be with me.... Crazy situation I have...

Tomorrow my medical for my job again and again. I hope and pray there will be no bad people on a particular organization to kick me out again and again in work-force! I badly need money!!!

I want vanities... :( I do feel fat,ugly and old without a story. Longing to have new good friends along the way and hoping to meet uppish to pull me up or help me to lift fairly, good friends...

11:52 am

Uncle Jun went to the bathroom masturbating, I said he should close the door... Saw him accidentally bobbing his penis... Then, he closed the door.

See, I was right,he is having a different spirit and soul when he woke-up awhile ago...

1:16 pm

Still,have windblow...

I wanna have this in the house, even here... I feel frustrated here angels...

I want a "Starbucks Feels" ambience... It is a big embarassment for me and I feel intimidated by some old friends for being perfect and we are really poorish these days...

I wanna have it as hanging-out space or living room that feels like in a coffee shop..

1:35 pm

Still,have windblow...

Supposed to be this way... Before we had an genuine "bermuda grass" outside and we had helpers and 1 boy assistant for dogs and for maintaining the garden.

It supposed to be this way until these days...

For John can run and exercise for some small gathering... You can do some yoga or stretching or tanning perhaps...

1:43 pm

Still, have windblow...

My original persona I was very "family oriented" and I love some of my old close friends...

Watching on a projector outside,under the moon and stars effect...

I feel embarass and bullshit and frustrated...

1:56 pm

Stayin' alive,that what's important now...

2:10 pm

I wanna get my cousin-white... Can someone ask him if it is "Mmmbopp"? Garret is an inspiration...

Cousin white can you be "Mmmboopp"?

2:34 pm

Still,have windblow...

I feel bitterish and self-pity... I wanna do a nose perfection or botox....I aged for nothing... I wanna travel... Hope my job this time will be long-lasting... I feel frustrated...

I feel really,really ugly coz I will be 46 this October...

3:13 pm

Credit Peso called me about my loan... I just asked Mr. Ben to pause my interest... Thank God he will assist me for a waive of it,after a month. I checked th Credit Peso the daily interest is 0.02% or 50 pesoses....

I will just asked for a waive by next month due to the high amount of service fee extracted from my original amount that I applied.

3:29 pm

I'm reading the Credit Peso now...

6:20 pm

I went to Ely awhile ago for the back-up of toiletries, my creditz on Ely is around 4k already angels... We tried opening his Tagged and he streamed looking for a date hahah....

6:31 pm

Uncle DD gave nana an atchara and some soap for nana only...

[ohimesama]

1.12.23 Thursday

7:42 am

Still,have the windblow trap and I feel irritated... I need money and thinking of money.... I can't afford the sciatica therapy and I feel bullshit... I need to save money and I wanna do nose trimming probably a foreigner surgeon.. In God's time..

Uncle DD is not yet responding about his food providence here...

I saw Uncle Jun's small piece of paper that he is having a list of credits of his breakfast meal such as milk and mamon... Oh! I figured out Uncle Jun is drinking milk for his breakfast... Nothing, I just shared it here...

I feel bitterish that Uncle Jun only wants "togetherness" ...

I wanna leave the hometown.... I feel bitterish....I wanna see donkey and camel... I wanna travel and buy bags...

I hate the cult of ManaloZ so much, they are putting me down...

I hate this cult,I want some people in the village be respectful that they should know their boundaries...

I need money and I need to save money for my personal wants and needs...I want a beauty enhancement...I feel bitter coz I wanna do things that I wanna do... I have so many complex....I also feel jealous and envious these days even on my old friends...

I'm 41 already will be 42 and hating men in a way who makes me feel that they are better than me but not asking them to help me, except if I ask a pretty face to assist me these days...

My God, I really wanna be with a man having pretty face... Like the arab men.... And I want starbucks everyday...

8:15 am

I wanna see donkey and camel and I wanna get a pretty face and I want that pretty face to like me as me before me doing an enhancement coz I don't wanna have complex.... Get my point angels? I want a man to tell me that I'm pretty just by being like this but I still want an enhancement in God'S time...

I just hate that maturity based on giving-birth that is totally unfair!

9:03 am

I have a cousin or an aunt the same age as me, she went there in middle-east for more than a decade now, she is working there for 10 years or more...She is creating her own house now and her money is her own money though she have brother's and a sister, the good thing is her brother's are stable... Not asking money from her and now she is able to travel 7 or 8 countries with her friends such as italy,london,places in states and places in asia. She is one of my idols now... But before she travelled with his boss in middle-east.

10:57 am

Still,waiting for Uncle DD providence for food. Whew! I have some lil extra but for me and for some personal needs and for John.

I'm not yet ready to shoulder a bigger amount coz my salary per day is only 500, and I'm just a reliever coz Mommy Adnil is originally a patient of my friend Anid though I'm her superior on position but it is her patient. So, thru Anid I was able to go in to handle Mommy Adnil for special case experience and for quick money having pride and dignity...

Reliever means a substitute for someone who is mainstay there...Anid is the main caregiver though I'm her superior coz she got Mommy Adnil on her own but I'm her superior and I'm broke and I need to add another new case and I need money...

The real thing Anid is on 4th layering bracket category not yet a caregiver but I'm her superior...

Why,am I her superior? Coz I studied due to pressure coz inside the classroom of caregiving it is a mixed group of people either a college graduate of any course or so many undergraduates that I need to compete. Coz Mr Xela said you all need to pass the weekly exams every Friday the 200 items for 7 months... Actually half is ohkay but he wanted beyond and I got pressured coz I'm a Biology graduate of De La Salle and I need to show to the rest of undergraduates that I'm really a Biology college graduate. I already explained this exams part on Mike Shawn an american carpenter 1234 that I met in cuddle lite about me being a caregiver but a Biology graduate.

I almost perfect the exams I can beat a 170 to 190 plus out of 200 items... My rival is Mariana Comia same as me a registered nurse, Czarina a Rad Tech from De La Salle, MJ a teenager but not yet a college graduate but she is able to get more than half as well next Kimberly a HRM college graduate of De La Salle on 4th position a competent to be a caregiver next Tamara, Jam Aida, Mommy Candy, Jim Miro, Mommy Liz 10th,Daddy Dave on 15th to 20th... Blah2x The batches in the classroom of Mr Xela is over-lapping...

12:14 noon

I wanna leave the hometown....I feel self-pity...I need earnings more than now but I appreciate what I have now... I really wanna see donkey and camel... My mind is tired I can't handle another classroom lectures for now,I need to earn like my aunt or cousin in middle-east. I'm a college graduate but they didn't respect me!

I hate the cult of ManaloZ... I want more bags and starbucks everyday...

5:22 pm

My G-Cash is not responding and I'm having headache... I think someone is controlling... I can't access my g-cash...

I feel fat and ugly... I'm so stressed-out and why I can't access my gcash? Still having pain on my left sciatica ...

I feel heavy and I feel like dying...There is a negative energy around,somewhere...

I feel heavy and self-pity...

6:19 pm

I feel bitter!!! I feel bitter... I feel heavy....

I'm thinking of money....I wanna leave the hometown and I'm already on my menopausal... I feel fat and ugly!!!

They don't care on me having sciatica!!! THEY DON'T CARE IF I DIE ANGELS!!!

I'm having headache!!!

Another stress, Uncle Jun asked for a 100 awhile ago for his lotto... I feel heavy... I'm keeping money for something important for papers.... It is for papers and for John's needs...

I have headache...

I wanna leave the hometown... I'm on my menopausal... I wanna leave the hometown! I wanna be with the arab man...

Filipino's are the most insensitive men in the world!!!

I hate being the 2nd choice!!!

7:28 pm

I'm so stress.... I have fever...

[pergaias]

jupiter’s chosen ; a short story

a lot of people forget that i’m a writer before i’m a shitposter ( me included )

this was written in thirty to forty-five minutes based off of a paraphrased quote from ninth house by leigh bardugo, so it’s kinda short kinda boring, but the end is a whirl -

also this is kinda like a villain’s backstory and i’m here for it lmao

Della couldn’t feel it anymore.

The little strings that had connected her to the world of magic had snapped, broken, worn away, one by one. The wet denim of her jeans were rough and abrasive, clinging and cold. Her cheeks wet with tears, her lips salty with them. 

The one thing she had been good at, the one thing that made her special, gone. And it was her fault - her misstep, her shadow, her mistake that had brought it here in the first place.

Her breathing was shakier than quaking aspens, her chest heaving in shallow pants like an animal’s. Her eyes were probably red-rimmed and swollen as the gaping wound in her side.

The sword. It had taken everything away - some poison in the blade that had eaten away at her magic, cut the invisible strings tying her to her other life. The gash in her side was long and deep, her arms held shakily over the wound, as if the gesture, the act of it, would hold her together.

But still, Della lay curled on the park bench in the pouring rain, her tears indistinguishable from the downpour, her once-white cardigan wet through with blood. If she still had her magic, if she still had Ty, she might have been able to heal the gash. 

Ty. Her best friend, her confidante, in another lifetime her boyfriend. Was it really a few hours ago that he had abandoned her? Addie, Addie, I’m sorry. We’re not children anymore.

Della cried harder. It was dark out - she could hardly see the stars, and all she could feel was the coldness of her wet sweater and jeans, pressing on her skin. The fire of the sword wound was gone, as was her magic. She had felt the magic - it was a hum in her fingers, a song in her head, a forgotten whisper on her lips.

It was like she was missing a limb.

Addie, Addie, I’m sorry. We’re not children anymore.

When had Della stopped being a child? Was it the moment when she had started thinking about what parts of her body jiggled and how she looked? Was it the moment she discovered her first period, or the day she had to first fend for herself? Was it the day that she had kissed Ty?

Was it when she became Adelaide Lovis, Jupiter’s Chosen? 

No. She had ceased to be a child years before all those occasions, on the day that she had realized what a horrible world she lived in. Demons on the streets, wreaking small havocs on people who couldn’t see them. Imps curled up on her mother’s shoulder, whispering poison into her ears. The day she had seen the shadow behind the Prime Minister on TV and screamed, because it had beady, bright eyes. The ghosts in her apartment building, opening doors for her because they saw she was Chosen.

The shadows of other people, given flesh and blood. Della had foolishly thought she was above it.

The irony of it was that Della Lovis was supposed to fix it. The Chosen One, who was to rid the world of evil. She would set things right, they said, she would fix all their past mistakes. She would banish all the shadows past the Otherlands, hold her sword high with auburn hair streaming behind her and tawny wings unfolded.

Della’s eyes burned, and she held her side tighter as a cab whizzed past her seat, splashing her with muddy, oily water. She barely felt it - her skin burned with a fever that the blade had given her, the fever that had driven the magic out of her.

She couldn’t have moved if she wanted to. There was no knight in shining armor to save her, white-gold wings bursting from his shoulder blades, dark hair curling across his forehead. She lay curled on the park bench, rain pummeling her, her side throbbing, burning with unseen fire. 

Had Ty ever loved her? She remembered it in paralyzing clarity, his hand wrapped around hers, lashes long and thick and lowered. If she could paint, she would have painted him in white and gold and chocolate brown, an avenging angel.

Love is a shared delusion, Addie, he had teased, when her head had been curled in his side, fingers tangled with his. Two people reciting the same spell.

Della wanted to close her eyes, to let this terrible world fade, a world that had taken from her and never gave. Everyone she loved was gone - her mother, with her red-gold hair and sad smile, her father with his crooked nose and expressive hands. Ty, with his gold wings and long lashes.

Jupiter’s Chosen. She had been thirteen when they told her, when she had first held a Stone and seen beyond the world she lived in. 

Strings, Della had breathed. Strings, tying everything together, tying everything to me. She had reached out to touch one - it had made a note like a guitar, leaving her fingers covered in humming, glowing dust.

They had all been cut. There was nothing holding Della to this world anymore but stubbornness, sheer force of will, and the overwhelming urge to punch Ty in the face.

Rain clung to Della’s lashes like fat pearls, and the throbbing of the gash on her side seemed to slow. The world seemed to slow, the colors coming into sharper focus, like it did every morning when the sun’s rays hit the horizon. 

The rain was warm and soft, like a warm summer shower. The gash on her side seemed to glow, light filtering through her fingers. 

Her heart was slowing, too, she could feel it. Della’s thoughts flashed to the sword fight, Adelaide Lovis all bluster and auburn curls, gray eyes and stubborn chins. She had hefted her own sword, and the black-winged creature lifted hers, and they clanged together. 

My shadow, Della had realized, halfway through the fight. The girl she was fighting was her but not her, everything Della was but with less to lose.

Every action has an equal opposite reaction, and this was the accumulation of all Della’s failures, every negative thought, every fear, each tear she shed. Was it fear of success or fear of failure that had held Della back? 

But her eyelids were so heavy, and the Beyond was welcoming her.

No. The thought burned through her, stronger than any warmth the Beyond could offer. I am Jupiter’s Chosen, and I will go down fighting.

Della painstakingly lifted her head, feeling dizzy as soon as she did. Rain darkened her hair, weighed her cardigan down - her movements were sluggish and anything but graceful, but she shakingly stripped it off and pressed it to her side, tears still rolling down her cheeks.

She had no magic. She would never be welcome in the Otherlands after her failure.

One step. Another. Her shoulder blades felt terrifyingly light without the wings, the wings that had slowly dissipated when her shadow had sunk the golden blade into her side. Della’s scream, ringing through the arena. Ty in the audience, his eyes turned away.

They had left her to die, and Della Lovis was going to live if only to rub it in their faces.

She wasn’t a child anymore. She wasn’t Chosen. She wasn’t loved, wanted, waited for by the people she had failed to protect.

But she staggered across the street, cardigan held against her side, freckled arms shaking. She would live. She had to.

Della couldn’t feel the magic anymore. She couldn’t feel her fingers or the pain in her side.

She only felt the slow press of tears choking her throat.

There would be no happy ending for Adelaide Lovis, once Jupiter’s Chosen, but she sure as hell would make it a memorable one.

[talkintomytv]

I've always felt cautiously optimistic towards the thought of an MCU run of Daredevil Born Again but as more and more quotes and rumors start to come out about the show it all has me feeling more cautious than optimistic.

I'm particularly worried about that one quote going around that suggests they may retell key events from the original series. Mostly because I'm not too sure what they could have meant by it so my brain is left to spiral on its own.

Are they gonna use clips from the original series as flashbacks I wonder? Or perhaps film new scenes set in those times to add some new context to the older scenes? Will they reenact some parts? Or maybe the events of the original series only come up conversationally sort of how Matt described his practice to Jen at the bar in She-Hulk. I'm driving myself crazy over here just trying to make sense of it. Are they gonna completely ignore or retcon some things already established and do them again to try and make some sort of bullshit multiverse excuse out of it? Ahh, it's freaking me out! I wish I could just feel excited about the new show instead of worried. Y'know?

I'm having a hard time understanding why they won't just embrace the original series fully. It's not even a Netflix show anymore. Disney owns it completely so why hold something so well-received at arm's length I'm left to wonder?

I could just be misinterpreting quotes spoken by cast and crew who literally know nothing about a project that's still in flux and are simply just trying to hold a conversation during an interview. This new series could still be very much a continuation of the old while starting again with a season 1. Sort of like how Naruto became Naruto: Shippuden hahaha.

I still worry this iteration of the character is going to de-canonize that incredible performance between Daredevil and Fisk in the final episode of season 3 and be completely riddled with cameos split up across multiple sequels, in other people's stories. Spending his series runtime setting up some other larger-than-life event to face off against later with no real stakes or conclusions of its own.

But, hey! Daredevil may actually don the "DD" insignia on his suit this round so if the series is not as good as it was before at least they're all gonna look so damn good doing it.

It feels good to toss some words out into a void at no one in particular so If you made it this far thank you for reading all of that!

What sorts of things are you looking for in Daredevil Born again? I'm lookin' to change my tune. Take care out there!

-M

[trifoliate-undergrowth]

Pacific Rim 3

I outline the plot of Pacific Rim 3 as experienced by me in a waking fever dream before and during today's 4am shift as a way to distract myself from real life stress with imaginary stress, written in breaks during work and in the parking lot before driving home because I'm going back to sleep when I get there and I want to preserve this fever dream first before I lose the details of it,

Ok I've been here for 3 hours and I don't know how to do a read more link on mobile I'm sorry you're getting this as is whether you want it or not I need to sleep goodbye

Dr. Gottlieb and Liwen are working on building their own portal to the Precursors to beat them up once and for all

Jake is seen giving an inspiring speech to a new wave of cadets who've been training with the old ones, now fully realized Jaeger pilots. Amara is everyone's favorite instructor.

Jake is very imposing and military and inspiring. Jake is everything the kids need him to be. Jake slips away from the party early and tears off his uniform before disappearing down a side street in his civilian clothes

Nate has the visible emotional human reaction of milk curdling and goes after him

Dr. Gottlieb and Liwen Shao are talking to someone about how they're making progress on the rift but they need help. Someone in particular who knows about alien tech. He's coming in on the next flight, actually. The person they're explaining this to gives a disbelieving "no..."

NEWTON

Wakes up in his house in the middle of fuckass nowhere. Somewhere away from technology he could theoretically use For Evil, or people he could theoretically hurt. This is, however, a self-imposed isolation, as he seems to have been granted his freedom, conditionally.

We see his morning routine, featuring normal stuff like making coffee, panic attack in the shower ft. indistinct memories of the Precursors, taking a massive dose of PPDC-granted experimental medication, starting the car, another indistinct alien trauma flashback, listening to the radio on the way to the airport where people appear to recognize him and he low-key has a panic attack because oh God everyone knows what I did

Jake leaves the bar and runs into Nate, who gives him the old Argh Argh Responsibility And Pride talk and Jake is like yeah man I know shut up

They have a fistfight in the rain and the neon lights in the alley outside the bar

No one properly wins because they've drifted so many times and they can predict each other's attacks but they both land a few and take a few, Jake gets hit a bit more because he's drunk

They both end up just sitting in the rain feeling sorry for themselves

Nate: Jules proposed to her girlfriend.

Jake: I know

Nate: they're getting married.

Jake: yeah that usually happens when someone proposes

So Jules wasn't going to end up with either of them and they're both sad about it. Nate suddenly suggests they go back in the bar. He'll buy Jake a drink to make up for beating him up. Jake is like ok sure but the drink's gonna be soda because I was LEAVING the bar because I was ALREADY drunk

They share a Soda Of Angst at the bar and talk about how they're gonna die alone. Jake says "at least we've got each other" and it's impossible to tell if he's joking. Nate is like "you know what this place isn't that bad we should come back sometime."

Newton reaches the lab. He is terrified of Liwen and awkward around Hermann. He instinctively calls Liwen "boss" and she reminds him matter-of-factly that they're working as equals now, "since you ruined my life's work."

Hermann asks how the medication is working and Newton indicates that it works fine but he still gets anxiety about it not being enough. Hermann promises him it's been proven effective, thus why the PPDC let him out of his crimes against humanity iron cell of shame. It's revealed that what they're giving him is a stronger dose of a medication originally developed for burned-out Jaeger pilots with unmanageable symptoms, and that it blocks out memories related to the drift--and since this is how the Precursors were reaching him, this works to block out their influence. The cost is that Newton doesn't remember much of anything past building his own neural bridge. He knows it happened but the details won't load. He's constantly worrying that it's not enough, that the Precursors will come back, and is taking a dangerously high dose that gives him constant hand tremors and worse insomnia than usual.

The first time he and Hermann are left alone they have an uncomfortable attempt at talking which gradually turns into an argument about nothing in particular. Newt keeps calling him Hermann but it sounds Wrong and Hermann hasn't been allowing people to just use his first name here and he finally snaps at Newton to stop it and he's like "oh my God I can't call you your NAME? what the hell am I supposed to call you??"

Newt says something angsty and Hermann says something like 'yes well the nicest thing that ever happened to me was drifting with a dead and decaying piece of kaiju viscera' and he says it sardonically but he's serious

Newt doesn't remember any context for the time they drifted.

Newt assumes he's being maliciously sarcastic and starts SCREAMING at him

Hermann just looks at him in shock at first then just lets him go for a little while

Eventually shutting his mouth by jabbing him under the chin with his cane and saying, very quietly and coldly, "get out of my lab"

Newton gets out of the lab

Newton runs into Nate and Jake at The Angst Bar and they recognize him but he has no idea who they are but he's willing to just roll with it at this point and asks them if they know Hermann well enough to give him advice

"like that was sarcasm right? I'm pretty sure he was making fun of me but now I'm less sure idk"

Nate's: no he's immune to sarcasm

Jake: yeah it's kinda funny

Nate: *the gaze*

Jake: I mean, nothing wrong with that, but yeah if he was being sarcastic that'd be first time it's happened as far as I can tell

Newt: are. Are you telling me. That someone actually. For some reason. Offered me a sincere compliment. And. I yelled at him

Jake: that's your call, I mean, you know him better than us, right? You guys were friends right?

Newton, who doesn't remember any of these people:

Nate: I mean I wasn't there, only way to tell is to go back and ask him

Newt: aaaaaaa

Newton goes back and Liwen is like "hey I've got no idea what's going on here but can you weirdos just act normal for two seconds so we can get some work done" and Hermann and Newt both just kinda. Laser focus on rift stuff

Remember the guy with the "no why would you involve Newton"reaction? No because he's but important and has no name or real identity? Yeah ok every Pacific Rim movie needs one Designated Douchebag to cause Interpersonal Drama and this guy is it. I'll call him DD for short

DD shows up and is like oh my God you actually turned Newton loose in the lab?? Why would you do this we're all going to die

Everyone just ignores him

Designated Douchebag has the self-importance of a high elf and the confidence of a fucking walnut and doesn't like being ignored

And starts talking directly to Newton, which really freaks Newton out but he continues pretending to ignore him

DD: so you're safe now? Not going to start speaking alien gibberish?

Newton: don't plan on it

Hermann, without turning around: DD you may not like to hear this but it was never your business who we brought in to assist, we don't need your permission, and complaining about Newton now that he's already here is certainly not going to do any good.

DD: alright fine but you'd better keep a close eye on him.

DD: anyways Newton tell your girlfriend I said hi

Newton, blank: who?

DD: you know, Alice?

Newton's face registers several emotions as he grapples with a name from the buried memories-confusion, disgust, terror-mostly shock

There is an abrupt cut

Liwen, thinking her two colleagues were acclimated to each other enough to allow her to leave the room and get tea without disaster, is walking back down the hallway talking with a lab tech when they hear the sound of something breaking

A moment later the doors to the lab are flung open and DD is forcibly ejected, collapsing on the floor in front of them. Dr. Gottlieb exits the lab behind him, holding his cane like a cricket bat. There is a muffled sound of Newton yelling OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING

Liwen backs out of range of cane damage and sips her tea, mildly intrigued. The lab tech starts to run for help and nearly crashes into Nate and Jake, who came running to see what the yelling was about.

Nate: what is--

Dr. Gottlieb, panting with restrained bloodlust: HELLO SIRS GOOD TO SEE YOU I BELIEVE THERE'S BEEN A SECURITY BREACH BECAUSE THIS FELLOW HAS JUST BEEN CASUALLY CHATTING ABOUT RESTRICTED CLASS-J49 INFORMATION PLEASE LOCK HIM UP

DD: it's COMMON KNOWLEDGE and he ATTACKED me

Dr. Gottlieb: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID SIR!! *He takes a handkerchief out of his pocket and wipes some blood off the handle of his cane*

Nate: WHAT is happening

Newton: *trying to have a quiet hysterical laughter meltdown in the lab before anyone remembers he's there*

Anyways next plot point. An alien shows up

Not a Precursor! A nice alien

Listen if PR:U gets to pull all that bullshit with Mt Fuji I'm allowed to add aliens okay

Hermann should have a nice non-genocidal alien friend I think he deserves it

Anyways the alien is clearly a different species than the Precursors (or Kaiju) and seems friendly but they can't communicate with it, the linguistics team is working on it but it's going to take A Lot of Work

Hermann goes "hm I've got a quicker and more accurate option"and wheels out the drift interface

This alien's mind doesn't link well with human minds but Hermann is a pro and powers through

He gets seasick and throws up and finally comes out shaky with a bloody nose and eye but he's managed to communicate!

The alien is a diplomat from another world the Precursors attempted to colonize, they survived because the Precursors underestimated the humans' resilience and spread themselves too thin, trying to invade earth and the alien homeworld at the same time and then getting distracted dealing with the humans, which left the aliens time to prepare their defense

They're here to help with the war effort, they don't have a lot that's relevant to current human scientific understanding but they can help fill in some of the gaps in the human's knowledge about rifts

They're making progress! Yay!

Things are getting serious, training montage Jake and Nate and the new pilots getting ready to kick ass

Newton finally brings himself to apologize to Hermann and explain he was confused but the net progress here is still zero because then they immediately have ANOTHER argument

Hermann has started writing his notes in the alien's language, he wants to make sure he can remember it well enough to help the linguistics team, and it's also beautifully precise and he just loves it and loves that he's able to write it, come on who wouldn't be proud of being the first contact human

Newton sees a bunch of notes of Alien Gibberish (to him) and gets Bad Vibes

Newton doesn't think they can trust the alien, Hermann does but his proof is mainly "I can tell because I drifted with them" and Newton 1. Doesn't remember what that's like and 2. DOES remember that the last time he thought it was a good idea to drift with an alien he ended up nearly killing literally everyone on earth

They yell at each other some more

At some point Hermann tries to deescalate and asks why they can't be friends again and Newton, still yelling, says "people keep acting like we're friends and I don't remember it! As far as I'm concerned this is all we ever had! I barely remember you at all and what I do remember is that we hated each other!"

Hermann: ....I never hated you. .. alright, colleagues, then? We've got a rift to build

Newton, still hyperventilating slightly: ok ok yeah sure yeah

Interlude: Jules gets married!

She asks Hermann to walk her down the aisle (where she meets her wife, who walked down the opposite aisle to meet in the middle)

Newton, protesting "I don't know I don't feel like I should be here," is physically dragged into the venue by Liwen, who is telling him that this is a diplomatic event it's his duty to be at.

She drags him over to Hermann and settles between them, soaking in the chaotic gay science panic vibes

She seems to be enjoying herself

Jules sees Hermann in the audience and an evil gleam comes into her eye

She has a strong arm

She hurls her bouquet directly at his face

Hermann ducks, panic granting him lightning quick reflexes

The bouquet, travelling at about Mach 5, zooms past him and hits Jake Pentecost squarely in the nose

He inhales several petals of baby's breath and gets slapped in the eyelid by a vine and goes into a dramatic coughing fit. Nate pounds him on the back.

Alien, speaking through a translating device they've got set up (it isn't perfect but it works on a basic level mostly): is it bad luck to touch the flowers?

Hermann, still slightly panicked from the near miss: no it's ahh, there's this silly tradition that whoever catches the bouquet is likely to get married next, and ah, as you see there, sometimes a bride with a sense of humor will, err, intentionally aim it at someone who, uh, didn't necessarily want it?

Alien: I think I understand. My sibling often tells me to go the southern hills of ^°^=^^°^°^^°°= to find a mate, though I have told them many times that I have no such desire.

Nate and Jake are like "ok neither of us have a date I guess we're drinking our sorrows away together at the reception" and do that

And maybe make out a little bit

Neither of them is ready to deal with Feelings so they both just blame it on the alcohol and try not to think about it too hard

Newton, venting @ someone, explains that there's an empty space in his memory where he knows that that something about Hermann is supposed to go and it doesn't feel like the other, worse memories he's blocked out, it feels like he lost something precious, but he has no idea what that is

Hermann tells Newton he's been working on a device that might block out the Precursors' influence without affecting his memory, so he can use all of his knowledge. And so he isn't constantly so confused about who he does and doesn't know but he doesn't say that part

It connects to his skin a bit like a drift interface

Newton is terrified but enthusiastic about maybe being Less Confused All the Time

The fact that he is guarded by a full security detail to make sure he doesn't Become Evil Again the whole time he's going off his meds really doesn't help the stress much

Memories start coming back but they're confused and jumbled and at first he's not much better off

The Precursor nightmares are about what he expected but he keeps hearing Hermann's voice in there too and he's not sure why and he can't remember when he heard it like that

Meanwhile Hermann keeps needing to drift with the alien to clarify important details about the rift that they don't know how to translate into human terms, but it fucks him up a little bit more each time he does it until the last time he passes out for like at hour and wakes up disoriented with a nosebleed that just won't stop and Jake orders him to stop drifting

He's ok with that because they've got the information they needed anyway!

IT'S TIME, THEY'RE SENDING THE JAEGERS INTO THE RIFT

Newton, despite his misgivings, reluctantly joins Liwen, dr. Gottlieb and the alien in command to supervise the mission, still wearing the device and getting random bursts of confused memory

Jake and Nate are piloting the Lady Avenger (did u know gypsy is a slur and they prefer to be called Romani) and go though first and start punching Precursors and their bodyguard Kaiju

Newton goes very still and just stares at Hermann for like a solid minute while he's trying to work, his expression shifting to something new

Hermann, softly: what?

Newton, smiling: I remember you.

Hermann, furiously trying to interpret alien data: is this really the best time??

It's a close fight across the rift, the Precursors are on their home turf and the Jaegers are not, fighting in a bizarre low-gravity environment that doesn't really have floors

Their base is set up differently than expected and Hermann decides he needs to check something with the alien. By drifting with them. He's still bleeding uncontrollably after the last stunt that got him banned but he's determined to do it because It's Necessary

Newton takes the headset from him and puts it on instead

It feels Bad

But then he sees another planet, beautiful, so different from his own yet so similar. He sees aliens attacked by monsters from the deep, responding more or less how the humans had, moving inland, building useless walls, building their own monsters for defense. He sees the alien diplomat losing friends and family.

He sees the journey to earth, and drifting with Hermann. He sees the alien's memories of Hermann, and Hermann's memories in the drift. He sees how Hermann remembers him. What he forgot. What the Precursors had blinded him to.

He doesn't have time to think about it because he's feverishly trying to translate the knowledge he's receiving into data that works with their human technology so they can help the Jaegers and there's blood dripping from his face onto the controls but it's there, in the back of his mind, he knows now. Hermann missed him.

The Lady Avenger is hit and Jake is knocked unconscious. They begin to drift downwards as Nate, unable to move the Jaeger alone, yells at Jake with no response

Newton disconnects from the drift, nearly blacks out, and has to sit down for a minute. When he comes back around he sees the Jaegers are in trouble--none completely disabled yet, but they need more help

Newton has an idea

Newton: ok I'm gonna do something stupid. *To his security detail* listen I need you to aim your guns at me and shoot if you think I'm out of control

Liwen, with zero hesitation, reacting quicker than anyone else in the room, pulls out a gun and sticks it right in his face

Newton: see, yeah, that's what I was saying, like that. Thanks boss, glad someone here's got guts.

Liwen: not your boss

Newton: I kinda like saying it tho

Liwen: hm. I'll allow it.

Newton: ok. Hermann--uh

Hermann, hearing his name said right this time: it's ok

Newton: :) ok cool I'm going to deactivate the blocking device I need you to turn it back on as soon as I squeeze your hand, can you do that

Hermann: absolutely.

The Precursors are a hive mind. In battle, when pressed, they can force their thoughts outwards, confusing and scrambling the communications of other species while keeping in contact with each other. This is going well and normal until there's an unexpected distortion which resolves into Newton's voice

Yelling WHAT'S UP MOTHERFUCKERS I'M BACK

(epic Tom Morello riff)

Newton can't keep the connection open for more than a few seconds before they start to overwhelm him, Hermann pulls him back. It was enough to confuse the Precursors and give the jaegers an advantage.

During the delay, Jake wakes up. He's disoriented and in pain and so is Nate, still linked to him, but they can move again. They one-hit-k/o the Precursor that was creeping up on them, turn around, and realize they've drifted almost right into the reactor they've been looking for

So they blow it up

Hermann is still holding Newton's hand as everyone else celebrates. He looks at Newton for confirmation, who nods in relief.

"they're gone. Well, those ones are, anyway."

Humans start opening rifts across the galaxy to kick Precursor ass across multiple star systems

(epic Tom Morello riff intensifies)

Humans team up with multiple alien races previously menaced by the Precursors to take out their common enemy. Jaeger tech is combined with alien science, humans and aliens drifting

They figure out how to use a recording of Newton's Precursor-influenced brainwaves as a weapon to confuse them

So basically Newton makes a recording of himself screaming at the Precursors that's weaponized by teams across the galaxy and it's incredibly cathartic

Jake, in a hospital, is woken up by an infuriating snoring noise. Nate is sleeping in a chair by his bed. He's both annoyed and touched. Mostly the latter.

Hermann writes a book in what is now his third language, the alien script precise and beautiful

We see Newton and Hermann getting dressed together for an Important Event, they're both complaining about having to go but seem not to mind too much. Newton ties his tie too loose, like in the good old days. Hermann fixes it for him.

No one died

The free peoples of the galaxy took down the Precursors with no casualties and the power of screaming

[burningthemidnightcityoil]

STRANGE TAKE AWAYS FROM HS^2

I know, I know. This is one troll bug attracted to a plush plump ass that has gotten many a homestucker up in a tizzy.

But I am gonna dive head first into it, and brave the many many plump plush rumps.

Inception Mirroring. There is a strange amount of HS and HS^2 Mirroring going on, and the absolute biggest is with Jade. Lemme explain. A Witch’s Journey is about their Familiars, and taking power for or back from them. As a Witch of Space, Jade’s original “Familiar” was Becquerel, and she did take his power and even part of his looks. What started in the Epilogues and has continued further, is that a new (and very much unwanted) familiar has popped up: Calliope. And worse, this relationship between Alt Calliope and Jade mirrors the terrifying relationship of Doc Scratch / Lord English with Witch of Time, Damara / The Handmaid. Even right down to the Suicide Threat... Further Mirror occurs with my so far favorite new character: Yiffy. Or Ruby, if you don’t like the first name. ... Because Ruby and Jane mimics Jack and The Black Queen. And there’s already an Us vs Them war on...

Our new Players How much you wanna bet that Harry, Tavros, Vrissy and Ruby are our missing Human classpects? Thief, Mage, Sylph, Bard and Doom, Rage, Mind, Blood. (Though on the ropes about Vrissy) And I bet you, because of the controversy and contrivance of Ruby (Which is done on purpose), they’re the Rage Player. Harry’s association with creation marks him a Sylph. Vrissy as a Troll already holds the idea of Blood, and she’s already inherited quite a bit from our Vriska. And Tavros; poor sweet Precious Tavros... Holding the Moniker of Doom.

Event Horizons Where Homestuck proper had Doomed Timelines, we here now have “Doomed Spaces”. Which I have dubbed so far as Event Horizons, as these Doomed Spaces get sucked into the Black / White Hole when they “Stop being Canon”. We’re now exploring the opposite side of the Doomed Timeline, and its probably got something to do with Hope (the idea of Narrative Causality and Belief; and what Canon means here)

Messiahs and Wizards Karkat and his entire bloodline is associated with Messiah figures. As Trolls are foundationally Blood Aspected, it would make sense that the prime time chosen one is a Blood Player. This makes John Humanity’s prime time chosen one, as Humans are foundationally Breath Aspected; and better yet, we even have “sacred” Icons in the form of Wizard Statues anyway and everywhere. An Idea spread across the Human Unconscious, as opposed to the very real and legendary figures of Trolls. Mind, that lot of John’s Wizardly associations also bring him into contact with the one major wizardly figure in real world mythology and religion: Odin. (Via the Harlequinn). And our John is dead. Funny thing is... So was Odin, once. Me thinks it won’t stick.

Ultima Dirk Dude, this guy basically ate a lot of his alternative selves. One of which was Bro, one of which was the amalgamation that is Doc Scratch, and that means he definitely had a chunk of Cherub ass that is Lord English. But as Brain Ghost Dirk shows, not all Dirks are about that shit. We still got a chance to knock this doofus out of his dower power trip. If only we knew what the fine fillery fuckery he’s gonna do... Anyway. The Thing and Think about Ultimate selves... is that you gotta take a step back and see this in terms of Video Game Logic. This is what happens when Player Characters become actual Players themselves. Imagine if the dude you’ve RP’d as in Elder Scrolls decided to take a step up and control the narrative himself; and this comes with the caviate of remembering all the times you’ve fucked up and gotten him killed, all the times you’ve decided to just “see what happens”, or even broke character. And that also starts including every Fanfic you’ve written him in, every AU, that one time you put him in Fallout, that other time you threw him in Minecraft. Basically, the very Idea of the Character becomes your Equal. As the SCP foundation would put it... Dirk has started to rise to our Narrative Level, but is just not quite there yet.

Droog and Dad Oh come on, you knew this was gonna show up. We already know this is an alternate universe, and definitely not the intermission one (Especially with Slick’s death), and we now have confirmation that part of Snowman’s powers is to basically teleport across the Multiverse and change things with wild abandon. This... - Gives an explanation as to how and why the Felt can teleport Timelines without accidentally dooming themselves like our God Heroes can and do. - Means that Snowman can outright manipulate full timelines without having to touch the Alpha, and do so for as long as she possibly wants. - Further proves Snowman is a Sylph of Mind (Because only Mind Players go that deep into shit and have Multiverse powers) As for what’s going on in the background... - Droog left the Midnight Crew, because apparently Slick started to get majorly involved with Snowman (Possibly even romantically rather than hatredly). As there are plenty of Literary parallels between Snowman and Droog (For one thing, they both say “Hey Assholes”), this is almost like choosing your lover over your best friend. - Droog is a manifestation of Moiraillegence, which Alternia Trolls associate with Pity (Rather than, y’know, real empathy and support); Of Course the asshole is gonna be Self Pitying. - This story displays a reality of what would happen if Droog had left. As the HC’d Mage of Blood, and Blood being about Bonds, Attachments, and Promises: This would seriously fuck Droog up (Because he is all about that shit; and here his closest allies dumped on him hard). [ This is all likely purposely set up by Snowman; she put him in a position to leave; something we know that not even a genocide of Carapacians can force DD to do ]

 Roxy I’ve been nicknaming him Roxas

The Fear of Two Calliopes The reason Meat side Calliope is probably freaking out bad, is because the appearance of Alt Calliope in the same space is real bad news. Paradox Space doesn’t like Doubles, Triples, Quadrupals of anything; (See the major battle of Jack Noirs that ended in all but one Dead) Our Calliope runs a very real risk of dying horribly, because Alt Calliope as a fully realized Muse of Space is uber powerful and will absolutely trump her in the balance of Paradox Space “No two of the same thing will inhabit the same space”.

Fear of the Prince Ever wonder why Dirk is terrified of his quasi-Grandchild? Ruby is a Rage Player, and depending on her Class (probably a Thief?), she’s gonna be a major problem. After all, Dirk’s created Narrative is full of bullshit; and there’s no player better to handle narrative bullshit than a Rage Player (What is a God to a Nonbeliever?) Rage is perfect when you’re going up against hostile or bullshit narratives and their equally assholish narrators. Blood may be Reality, Doom maybe the Ultimate Reality, Void is the Physical Reality, Heart is the Emotional Reality... but Rage is Reality as it actually is-- random, not always having an explaination, and its never a straightforward story narrative; Rage is Real in the sense that we, the audience, naturally experience it and hate to see it written down (because natural experience as it is, never makes sense written down unless it plays out like a Story or Narrative) Life is confusing, its not fair, it doesn’t make sense. That is Rage (and is also the reason why Life is Rage’s reflection and vice versa). And Rage will pull that reality to the forefront.

[tays]

little things i loved in miss americana

benji being so smol!!!

the journals and her quill and ink phase omg

the video of her walking out to sing the national anthem

pretending that it was fine when she found out reputation didnt get any nominations THAT HURT 

“i know i said some bullshit on the phone” being the original lyrics for ME!

knowing that ME! was gonna be the first single straight away in the early production stages

video of her singing lucky you !!

“taylor swift IS the music industry”

ABIGAIL

having ice with wine, im here for it

comparing newborn babies to tamagotchis, a mood

hiding from the paps in a giant umbrella

on beauty standards: “its all just fucking impossible”

all the happy home video moments with joe yet never showing him on camera was perfect

“turning on my party shoes for vocals”

her and joe hugging backstage that made my heart explode!! 🥺

taylor talking to brendon about how she envisioned the music video with scenes from the music video intercut with what she was saying, that was GREAT

“whatever makes you you, like EMO KIDS, THEATRE, DANCE SEQUENCES, LA LA LAND”

“when it’s like me it’s like DANCERS, CATS, GAY PRIDE, PEOPLE IN COUNTRY WESTERN BOOTS, I start riding a UNICORN !!”

the fact that they included the sexual assault case!

the beautiful court sketches were such a nice touch

CLEAN ON PIANO ON REP TOUR

andrea telling her how proud she was after that show 🥺 “im so proud of you for taking the bag of shit they gave you and made it into this”

and taylor telling her “it’s okay now” 😭😭

taylor getting so passionate about fighting for tennessee christian values and basic human rights that she started crying

“i need you to forgive me for doing it because im doing it”

taylor, tree and andrea drinking wine while they make the post and freaking out about it together

“the president could come after you” “yeah fuck that i dont care”

“you know what? donald trump likes my music 25% less :DD”

“i have a really slappable face”

getting to hear a new song for the first time in the early production stages without having heard the finished product I LOVED THAT

johnathan saying “you were really major at midterms honey” and giving her advice !!!

doing todrick’s nails!!

“give me a good review on yelp”

“sorry was i loud? in my own house, that i bought, with the songs that i wrote, about my own life?”

seeing all the lover billboards up in times square !!!!

[serenagaywaterford]

As always I completely agree with everything you have said so far, you're a gift truly. A few more thoughts if that's cool: Wild idea, how about instead of having Serena go back to Gilead at its bullshitiest, she just doesn't do anything, if they don't want her to move to the good side just yet. Wild, I know. And why won't they just let the show change into handmaids' tale. So many opportunities. It doesn't have to be all about June. There's very little that can be made all about June

(Part 2 oops) made all about June at this point. But man I was cracking up. Man I am cracking up. That post where you were joking 'how's Serena is Serena okay' etc. actually became a reality in this ep. You're obsessed Junie. Honestly if I didn't know the context I would've thought June was Serena's crazy stalker :P How does fred has so much power again? I thought he was demoted? Surely he wouldn't be allowed to make this big of a deal about a single child. Oh wait I just accused tht

           (Part 3 omg) of making sense. "Are you pumped dear?" This show   should consider itself a comedy based on Lydia alone. Also Rita missed June awww! How nice was it to see Rita smile??? I kept thinking Fred has more chemistry with Winslow than with any other woman on the show and then That happened. Just go for it Fred, and then Serena and June can go for it too mhm. It's pretty ridiculous that we're halfway through the season and NOTHING has happened. I would've thought we'd be done with Nichole            

            (Part 4 I need to stop Jesus) stuff at this point but nope it's only properly starting now. If only Serena weren't just so stupid. So, so, so stupid. It would be absolutely wonderful if she were playing a long game but let's be real, she most likely isn't. She's just dumb. WHEN IS ALMA COMING BACK (sorry for the spam :DD)             

----------------

firstly, the tags on your replies made me die lol. RELATABLE to real life and everything else constantly. (”oops > omg > i need stop jesus” -- welcome to my life.) you are the true gift!!! :DDD x

i love that wild idea! like, i don’t see the need really to have her go deep bullshit either. like just DO NOTHING. it’s just as bad lbr. but the show seems to think june needs an enemy to directly fight one-on-one. for some reason. i guess they don’t trust that their audience can handle a more abstract evil... or it’s too boring to actually have the men liek fred (who are unquestionably evil) be direct antagonists to june? that gotta make it some catfight. but since it’s the soapmaid’s tale, let’s all sit back and watch serena go Full Bullshit Evil and try kill june for no reason. (that last bit is just a guess lmao)

“ why won't they just let the show change into handmaids' tale. So many opportunities. It doesn't have to be all about June.”

this is a very good question and one that i hear people respond with by saying, “but the book is all june’s pov!!!!” as if that fucking makes a difference. the book also ended where s1 ended. so moot point. this is no longer atwood’s book. they have so many stories they could tell, even with existing characters. i just cannot abide what they’ve done to moira. she’s basically nonexistent. and they’ve dropped emily’s story like a sack of hot potatoes instead of just you know, pulling it along every episode with a little more development. i was afraid emily would suffer The Moira Treatment, and it seems to be coming true. Moira is literally just Luke’s Sassy Sidekick / Gay BFF. how progressive! Moira is a man’s accessory!! and okay, they’re not handmaids anymore, but what about Janine and Alma? Even Ofmatthew. We finally got a little insight into her last week and she’s gone again! Have we even seen any of June’s other Handmaid pals? At all?

“ You're obsessed Junie.”

LMAO! IKR! I was like “Oh, here she goes AGAIN with Mrs. Waterford this, Mrs Waterford that!” Like you can’t even pretend. I get that she’s convinced herself that Serena is her One True Hope (moron) but pestering Lawrence or Fred or whomever (i can’t recall) about Serena is not at all subtle.

I don’t..... I don’t even get where Fred suddenly gets his power from again. He was demoted. And yet he can just set up film sets and do propo videos, and spend all these resources etc etc.... for what? Like it doesn’t even make SENSE. June’s voiceover was all about how they don’t admit these things even happen but here they are shouting to the world “Hey! Our military and police suck! There’s a resistance pocket! People can escape even with babies!!!” gimme a break. and i sorta get why Fred got promoted by the end of 3x06 -- cos Commander Winslow wants a piece of that brown-nosing Waterford tush. ha. serves Fred right to be sexually harassed at work. (WHAT I DON`T UNDERSTAND is why Fred isn`t already a high commander?! Like he was one of the Original 4 SOJ that invented Gilead. Why weren’t Pryce, Lawrence, Waterford, or Putnam NOT High Commanders already???? It was their baby; you think they’d immediate get top dog spot.) But like you said, that’s asking this show to make sense. And it doesn’t care about silly stuff that. it’s clear they just invented this High Commander stuff without really thinking about continuity too carefully.)

“would've thought we'd be done with Nichole”

honestly, that’s what I expected too. I thought for sure it would only take up maybe the first third of the season. then that would get settled and we’d be focusing on this alleged amazing resistance and June: The Ultimate Rebel that we’ve heard so much about lmao... but where is it? it looks pretty sketchy from the two seconds we’ve been given lol. I really didn’t think they’d DRRRAAAAAAAAGGGGGGG serena’s regret out THIS long. and like you said, it’s only really got started! yikes. i don’t mind a slow burn at all, but i’m also not an incredibly patient person when it comes to being bombarded with depressing, miserable characters for 6 weeks. (okay 4 technically).who have not really done much of anything at all except mope, stare into the camera, and give ~inspirational voiceovers. man 3x01 was so promising......

Really, i’d bet my dog on the fact Serena is NOT playing the long game. two weeks ago, i wouldn’t have been so sure. but nah. she’s not secretly on june’s side or interested in being part of the resistance or saving anybody but herself. she’s just a dumbass who can’t see past her own pain cos she has no support system at all. i suspect, and i’m just guessing here, that phone from tuello will come in handy at some point--but not for anything except her saving her own skin. she’s gonna fuck up really badly and then need to be bailed out before gilead/june gets her and kills her lol. i personally think....unfortunately, we’ve seen the last of june and serena having any sort of trust or even mildly positive relationship. it’s gonna be pure conflict from now on. and that fucking sucks. so, i shall live in fanfic world where things aren’t so fucking bleak and depressing.

WHEN IS ALMA COMING BACK???? WHEN!!!

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

6.24.24 Monday

7:20 am

Still,have windblow...

Drinking my first cup of coffee...

9:45 am

Hmm..Uncle DD is putting a spell on me and John... Hmm... Where are they hiding doing the rituals???

If they kill John, they should kill me next and I'm not INC or Church Of Christ...

My right hand suddenly feel itchy after cleaning the eyes of Neko ( family dog that I planned to buy the papers) . If I have a money... But mainly it is still under the name of ownership of Uncle DD...

I wore a plastic gloves... John suddenly vomited but I know it is a spell...

Yeah! Right I masturbated this am.... It affects my soul... I'm thinking of my cousin white and other soul...

10:12 am

Hahaha Funny this "Credit Peso" I got the loan last 18th of this month worth 1450 then I have to pay today 2588... 1138 is the interest...

10:16 am

I don't have money and job to pay for it... Still, planning to get an another loan angels...

11:36 am

RV and Janna are here .... 2nd child named Rameses... Wow!

2:40 pm

Still,have windblow...

Maya called me about the 35000 loaned that I got on their record the agent named Eleonor. I said I didn't loan and I couldn't log-in from the past months... Then, I receieved a message that I have the money amounting 35000 that they sent on my Maya Account. I heard the mail that is being used as me on their record,it wasn't mine. Eleonor asked me to call the Maya customer service to tell them my issue but I said I'm not gonna do that coz it wasn't my negligence. I'm also stressed-out these days on my existing loan on apps but not in Maya...

3:01 pm

Still,have windblow...

I'm thinking of money and job and how to pay my creditz....

I wanna do nose perfection....I feel so ugly and old and fat...

I wanna travel and I wanna go back to gym... I can't find a bf that I want here...

I wanna get a breast implants...

I have frustration coz of masturbation... But I want a bf who can help me on money.

4:16 pm

I dreamed to be a playboy during my younger years but now nah! I feel old and literally old but I still want vanity.

Why, I wanted to be a playboy coz of fame ,money and better chances in life. Travel, drinking Starbucks everyday, vanity, fame, money, meeting people who can help me to have money...

Techi is the original playbloy in the Philippines...

Not all can be part of playboy... But now I feel bullshit, I'm literally old....There are so many younger soul who are well-fixed!

But I still want vanity for my self-esteem and to find a bf that I like of course.... But sensitive, someone who can lift me...I feel fat and old and ugly these days... Gaining but still trying to burn out calories and some fats...Healthy living but I still wanna job and money and travel...

4:45 pm

I ordered a "neomycin sulfate" for the eyes of Neko, I have this sympathy for her not to get blind coz of the infection that she is having now. My heart is good... I don't know if Uncle DD can pay me back for that 200 pesoses eyedrops...

I used my online loan money...

8:22 pm

Huh?

Huh? THIS CREDIT PESO LOAN IS FUNNY...

Can some angels call these numbers???

8:34 pm

Angels, can I get some free lawyers for me???

9:04 pm

I need free lawyers for this angels...

9:15 pm

Seriously, angels I need a Lawyer for this, for free...

9:24 pm

Still,have windblow...

Seriously, I need a free lawyer...

9:30 pm

Still,have windblow...

My free lawyer will settle this angels....

11:28 pm

Uncle Jun is listening to his phone on a loud speaker... As if we are not sleeping....

[ohimesama]

1.10.23 Tuesday

8am

Another Tuesday but not rainy with Mommy L...Another story and another added experience into my life in the world of being a caregiver ;)

Another day dream and continuously praying for a quick progress of Mommy L's bums or her humps ;)

8:43 am

I have uterus spasm and it is really crazy to say that days I can't have it for being single for 15 years that days I have to...

From (Google)

The pain occurs when the muscles of the uterus (womb) contract or tighten. It often feels like cramping or a heaviness in the pelvic area, lower back or stomach. Despite it being a common feature of getting your period, if the pain is severe, it could be an indicator of something more serious, such as endometriosis.

Dilators can help lessen pain and muscle spasms, and help people learn how to control, and relax, their pelvic floor muscles. They can also help a person warm up to sex if they're feeling apprehensive or need to prepare their tissues and muscle...

(Google)

2:18 pm

Still,having the windblow trap.. I hate this cult...I still wanna leave the hometown...I wanna see camel and donkey... I wanna buy starbucks everyday.

Right now, I don't like anyone if I want someone either they are far away from me or I don't know probably they don't like me...

I want to do things that I wanna do and I don't wanna settle down, I wanna settle up with mutual love and respect me for what I wanted to do... Still, hating the windblow trap!

Mommy Adnil watching TV on 7 now "eat bulagah"... Just chilling and later will move again some task and freewill task...

I still have this self-pity, partly I hate men... am I gay? Probably... I still wanna do nose trimming... But I still want handsome men...

Longing to have more friends but not yet the right time... I want bags...

I want handsome men... Who is sensitive and having etiquette....I hate women who wanted to be with me just to use me to get men's attention!

8:38 pm

I feel irritated just got back from my duty and this Kuya Ybbob ( e-bob ) the tryk driver seems fake... The last time I texted him,I felt that he was bullying me and probably a church of christ or Manaloz cult tryk groupie...

Why did I think that Kuya ebob is bullying me coz whenever I texted him if he can fetch me, he will textback if I'm already on the main high way, outside the gate of the subdivision of Mommy Adnil.

This friend of mine Anid seems crazy as well, I'm not sure but me and Ms Enaoj we texted this afternoon that I will have a duty tomorrow, and now after duty went to Savemore and I just bought my cereal and milk and they became jealous of me... Someone is spying at me! I was really spoiled but I need to work...I was really spoiled! I used to drink milk and I'm craving for cereal... I was spoiled!!! I'm the original! Not anybody from here!!! I think there are some spies on me!

I need that duty for tomorrow....Who is guilty? I don't know why they are so fake on me!

All of a sudden, Anid texted me that she will take my duty for tomorrow...She knew some of my personal issues....

I just bought a cereal and milk and they took away my duty tomorrow... Bullshit! Someone is spying on me! I was spoiled and will always be!

They took away my duty for tomorrow because of this??? I bought some food here in the house...Bullshit!!!

9:28 pm

I still have sciatica and Uncle DD can't shoulder this,meaning I have to work and as a mature individual who hate ugly men, I have to work...

This Uncle Jun can't share a thing but just togetherness... Meaning I need to work for my starbucks and my nose trimming... And a lot of things...

I still have uterus spasm but I can manage...I need to work! I FEEL IRRITATED!

I really wanna be with the arab man...

[jswdmb1]

You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet

“Here's something, here's something 

your never gonna forget”

- Bachman Turner Overdrive

For months my 11-year old son has been lobbying to go to Canada on Spring Break. Since his sister seemed open to the idea and didn’t have a preference of her own, we obliged. I have been telling people that I have no idea why he is so obsessed with The Great White North, but that is a lie. He just may have got it from me. I too love our gracious neighbors to the north and they proved themselves once more on our trip there last week that they are the kings and queens of hospitality on this continent.

Now, before you go there, let me stop the thought that this is an anti-America opinion piece. I love my country and am not turning my back on it. Not especially now with the way things are. Running away and ceding it to whomever thinks they have more right to my home country is the last thing on my mind. No, this is simply a pro-Canadian rant. While it will never be my home, it will be a place I always treasure. And, I’m confident enough in the greatness of my land to admit there are a few things they do better, which keeps bringing me back:

Money - we may have the world’s preferred currency in the U.S. greenback, but the physical form of our money is lame. It’s all the same color, rips easily, and has absolutely no pizzazz. In Canada, you get brightly colored bills that are made out of a strong, waterproof type of paper some of which depict cool wildlife scenes. The best are the dollar and two dollar coins that depict loons (the “loonie” and “toonie”). They are also smart about it by having no paper bills under $5 and eliminating pennies all together (cash transactions are rounded to the nearest nickel). Only Canadians could put such a fun, whimsical spin on currency, and I love it.

Candy Bars & Coffee - forget Snickers bars and Starbucks. What you need is a Coffee Crisp and some Tim Horton’s. The former is the best candy bar on the planet. It is a series of thin vanilla wafers with a lightly coffee flavored cream in between them with it all covered in milk chocolate. That’s it and no other flavors or varieties of the bar exist and there is a good reason for that. It’s because you can’t improve upon perfection. Think a Little Debbie Nutty Bar with better chocolate and a hint of mocha instead of all that peanut butter. As for Tim Horton’s, calling it the Canadian Dunkin’ Donuts Donuts is unfair because it’s way better. Their focus is a good cup of coffee at a reasonable price. A large dark roast with cream runs about $2 CAD which is less than $1.50 in the states. It is a perfectly balanced blend half way between Dunkin’ Donuts and Starbucks (stronger than DD but without the bitterness of Starbucks). Plus you can get a box of 10 Timbits (munchkins) for another $2. Call it the Canadian Breakfast of Champions if you want, but I wish I could get it anywhere to start my day.

Progressive Rock Power Trios - this part of the post should be unnecessary but I hate passing up an opportunity to talk about Rush.  I was about eight when a friends older brother played “A Passage to Bangkok” on his turntable.  Later on, my first concert was when the Presto tour hit Alpine Valley and I have been a fan ever since.  Their inclusion in the Rock and Roll Hall-of-Fame was long overdue, but anyone who is anyone knows that they didn’t need such validation to prove their chops.  Plus, Geddy Lee was a guest vocal on Bob & Doug McKenzie’s “Take Off’ which just adds to their legend.  Now go get your record player out and find a copy of Moving Pictures and jam to the sounds of the true North.

Football - everyone thinks America has a monopoly on the sport, but they have been playing it just as long in Canada with better rules. Bigger end zones with a field that is wider and longer. 12 men on a side and players on offense can sprint to the line of scrimmage before the ball is hiked. No touchbacks unless you are willing to give up a point (a “rouge”). And the best part - only three downs so you better not waste any of them with boring plays. All the teams play outdoors (Vancouver has a retractable roof but we’ll give them that) and the Grey Cup championship game is often played in the snow. Everything people love about the sport in one package and it’s labeled C-F-L. Oh, and they review pass interference calls so crap like that non call in the NFC Championship don’t happen. It’s basically NFL football but actually interesting and with none of the bullshit. You can have your Super Bowl, the Big party in my house will be to watch the Grey Cup on the fourth Saturday in November.

National Symbols - this will get me in trouble, but Canada has the best national symbols around. The maple leaf is a beautiful representation of the country at it looks perfect in red and white on the Canadian flag. As for a national police force, nothing is cooler than the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. And then there’s that anthem. I always love seeing the Blue Jays come to Sox park so I get to hear it live. Stirring, succinct lyrics sung to a soaring melody that make everyone feel proud of the country whether they are Canadian or not make it the best national anthem on the planet. And don’t let me forget Bob & Doug McKenzie. What better representation of what Canada is all about than those two. Just watch “Strange Brew” and tell me you don’t want to spend as much time as you can in the land of touques and back bacon.

Late Night Comedy Sketch Shows - if you think Saturday Night Live is the granddaddy of sketch comedy you need to get some copies of SCTV episodes.  Far more original skits without the need to feel cool produced some wacky and fun comedy (that’s where Bob & Doug came from).  The talent there was awesome as well - Eugene Levy, John Candy, Andrea Martin, Catherine O’Hara, Martin Short, Rick Moranis are just a few.  The jokes can be on the dry side, but that is so Canadian how could it be any other way.  SCTV finally hit the States in the early 80′s, but it didn’t stick around like SNL, which is too bad because outside of David Letterman, it was the funniest stuff on TV in the 80′s..  

I could go on but I should probably stop. Given the current state of affairs here at home, my passport has probably been revoked. Just remember though, the south is not the only direction to go when on vacation. There is a wonderful world to be explored to the north of us with super friendly people, a fabulous culture all it’s own and a friendly exchange rate to boot. Just make sure to bring me back some Coffee Crisp bars. They are really hard to find in the States.

Take off,

Jim

[jeffgoldblumsmulletinthe90s]

I feel like theyre gonna reveal credence as voldyorts dad/descendant or something, why else would they associate nagini n him?

Voldy’s lineage is pretty heavily covered in canon already! I wouldn’t put it past JKR to change it, but he was (as the first 2nd gen fascists of the 90s and honestly kind of all fascists ever) obsessed with his own lineage as a sign of the what the world owed him but also just Some Fake Bullshit He Invented For Himself and it’s addressed heavily in canon because let’s be real there’s some very seriously questionable racial overtones to JKR’s original series and Voldy’s origins are just a really great exploration of how JKR ultimately can’t write women and doesn’t really grasp that sometimes when she’s trying to say something really Enlightened she’s actually saying something really shitty.

But anyway, I would bet that Voldy’s origins are going to remain that his mother Merope Gaunt’s family was Salazar Slytherin’s lineage and his father Tom Riddle Sr. was a muggle that his mother raped repeatedly over a period of many years using magic despite apparently having no magic ability of note. 

I would say she’s shoehorned Nagini in here to say something she thinks is Very Deep about how desperate, marginalized people are easy to radicalize, which isn’t even remotely true. 

I mean, I don’t doubt that Credo will help to inspire Voldy and we are probably going to, through him more maybe even than GG, learn more about the paths of magic that Voldy took to achieve the kind of power he had. We already know there’s some fucky stuff with Credo and his father and the process of the Regeneration Potion, which is how Voldy was revived and which is has been mentioned in connection with Fantastic Beasts.

Or who knows, maybe JKR will bring back Weird Blood Magic Bonds for GG and DD. 

It’s 2018 and this message actually got me to talk about something I know TOO MUCH ABOUT and now we are all embarrassed.

Also it’s been a hot minute and I am making a LOT of big leaps in analysis so I totally accept critics on my piping hot Voldemort takes of 2018.

I do think it’s possible for characters to be thematically related without being genetically related and certainly Credo is central to whatever the forthcoming drama of Fantabi is going to be. And he will certainly play a role in the historically background of the magical world that Voldy uses as a template to outdo in the 90s.

[princesssteve]

The Widomauk server continues to be a notable influence on my writing and now we have chapter 2.

Title: Caleb Widogast Needs Help

Ship: Widomauk

Fandom: Critical Role

Words: 3,221

Rating: Pg-13. There is mention of drinking and whiskey dick???

Chapter One: Here

Original Prompt: By Weed Nephew – “au where molly delivers like 90% of calebs food bc he only ever orders from one place and he eats there almost every day & molly likes getting to see him but is genuinely starting to get concerned bc this cute man is going to die of eating nothing but takeout 24/7”

Chapter Two: Caleb goes out drinking with Mollymauk. Everyone is a drunken disaster but like... charmingly so.

He had stood, lo mien in hand and what he knew to be a dumb look on his face, watching through the half-opened door as Molly sauntered away with all the ease and grace of someone who genuinely did not care. He watched and tried, desperately, to think of a way out of this.

Molly knew where he lived and had access to his phone number. Further, the tiefling did not strike him as the sort to be willing to let him beg off with a bullshit excuse. Not for this. Caleb closed the door and turned to press his back against the wood, cool and solid in a way which was not helping at all. The house was as dark as he could stand to keep it – saving on electricity in every way he could to help fuel his lo mien addiction. It wasn’t even good lo mien. It tasted rather like it was the reheated leftovers of a meal the Riverworks staff had last week and then sent along to him. But it was easy. It was good enough to sate the needs of his traitorous stomach and didn’t have to be reheated once it went cold. It let him focus, let him work, let him do more-

Caleb breathed, slow and through his nose, and pressed his shoulders back against the door as carefully as he could so as not to startle Frumpkin. Something in the vicinity of his spine popped, loudly, and he did his best not to wince. He’d been slumping over too much. Again. Nott had been giving him the look of mildly hypocritical disapproval for days, but he hadn’t heeded it. Oh well. He had… they had plans now. An excuse to get out that would not let itself be excused away. Caleb huffed out a breath again, reaching his free hand up to gently attempt to force the worried crinkle of skin from between his brows. It didn’t work, but it was grounding. It reminded him that he, somehow, was this mess of anxiety and thoughts and worries wrapped undeniably in a physical form. A physical form that needed a shower.

It just seemed like such a waste of time. If wasn’t like he hadn’t bathed in recent memory, it was just that he hadn’t in… most likely a few days. He curled a finger in his ginger hair. Most likely called such due to the red ginger plant -alpinia purpurata-, which were a vibrant red and spikey. Native to newly occupied areas during the 18th- Caleb mentally shook his mind from that path, reminding himself not very kindly that no one cared about his random tidbits of knowledge. Hair was wrapped tightly around his finger and he focused back on that. It wasn’t awful, but he could feel the sweat and oils from the few days he’d forgone bathing. The texture of lank hair sent an uncomfortable roll down his spine and now that he was directly aware of it, Caleb knew he’d have to shower. Molly hadn’t seemed to mind, but Caleb was only partially sure that his quip about this being a date was a joke.

He pushed himself off the door, shifting his raised hand from his hair to steadying Frumpkin as he shuffled carefully past not quite teetering piles of books that lined the hall. Nott sat on the floor in the kitchen at the end of the hall, surrounded by a near to obscene collection of buttons that she was carefully cleaning and inspecting one by one. There were piles, clearly some sort of organization that simply escaped him, and she looked up from straightening one to shoot him a sharp smile.

“Your dodecah-whatever glowed at me,” she supplied, jerking her head toward the gentle grey light of his latest obsession. The first time it’d sparked and glowed she’d had a near to panic attack, shooting it with a crossbow she kept stored and then yelling for him when shooting it hadn’t made it stop. The glow was old news now, random and seemingly without reason in a way that frustrated him to no end.

“Ah, jah. It does that,” He returned needlessly, setting the bag of lo mien before her. They were probably out of forks and he needed to do dishes, but there was just so much else to focus on. Caleb shifted his eyes from the only just overfilled sink to Nott, watching as she pulled out a styrofoam container and plastic fork with triumph in her expression. Oh. Yes. Of course. The goblin, long green hair hanging in heavy locs that could be handsome dreads if either of them had the patience to twist and maintain them properly, returned his gaze – long noodles already half hanging from her mouth of sharp teeth.

“Ou wan some?”

Caleb looked away, uncomfortable but not with her. Just. In general. “Nien,” He replied after a moment’s hesitation. “You eat first. I’m… going to shower. We uh… we have plans. With some friends. Tonight.”

Nott swallowed, and he did not have to look to see the incredulity of her expression. “We have friends?”

“We do! Apparently. They want us to go drinking tonight. Mr. Mollymauk and… his retinue.”

“Do we want to go drinking with them?”

“He has my number. And address.”

“I have a cross bow.”

Blue eyes snapped to her in a knee jerk reaction of panic, Caleb taking a step towards her as if to stop her right this moment from shooting someone who wasn’t there. “No, no, no, no, nien. We are not shooting them.”

She studied him a moment, slowly returning her hand to her fork and dinner. “So you do want to go then.” It was structured like a question but said as a statement. Caleb wasn’t sure if that was reflective of Nott’s tenuous grasp on common or a judgement she was making. He wanted it to be the former, but knew she was entirely too smart for this to be true. She knew. Maybe not entirely, but she knew.

“I think it… could be good for us. To speak to other people. People we are not robbing, or doing,” he gestured vaguely to the dodecahedron which returned his gesture with a faintly diminished glow, “that for. To have some fun.”

“Are they paying for our drinks?”

“It was insinuated.”

She gave a put-upon sigh that was very badly acted, returning to her food. “Okay. We can go. I’m not showering though.”

He waved off the statement easily, sure it wouldn’t make much of a difference. Nott was always better about her self-care than he had ever been. It would sting considering her phobia of water if he was in the mood or position to care. As it were, he had entirely too much bouncing around in his mind to give much of a shit about his failure to person. He’d always been bad at personing, this should come as no surprise to him.

Later, sitting with a dark head of hair on his shoulder as the woman it was attached to waxed poetic about girls, Caleb reminded himself that he was really, really bad at personing. He took a long drink of the swill this place called beer and tried not to think about it.

Molly had come, as promised, and ushered them both into his car with a deep bow and relish like he was the driver of some grand stretch instead of a beaten Saturn. He’d taken one look at Nott -and Caleb hadn’t thought it would be a problem but maybe he really should have considered the possibility- and waved her into the backseat with a throw away “Takes all types my dears.” He did not explain what it took all types for, but Caleb pretended to not let the hanging statement bother him. The car had slowly gotten more and more full as people forced their way into the backseat with every stop Molly made. Luckily, everyone seemed to like each other. Even more luckily, any movements made to join himself and Molly in the front had been cut off with charming ease by the tiefling and Caleb was… Well. He wasn’t comfortable. But he wasn’t panicking.

By the time they’d arrived at what was absolutely the most divey dive bar he’d ever seen, there were seven of them, five in the backseat alone. Nott had very quickly made an unholy alliance with the blue tiefling whose lap she’d been shuffled into, and in turn the half orc man who held them both in his lap. Fjord was his name, and he’d had an awkward stumble to his southern drawl as he introduced himself around Jester- hands hovered over her hips. It was by no means safe, and the weight of the car was wildly unbalanced, but they’d gotten there in one piece.

They’d gotten there, and they’d gotten very, very drunk. The only other human in the group, a younger woman named Beau with an abrasive approach that reminded him of Nott, had ended up latching onto him – perhaps recognizing that they were both equally bad at love or maybe simply for the familiarity. She’d gotten three beers in before girls had come up, but the subject had not left since. She rambled, making sense in only the loosest terms, about women in general. And one woman in particular. A woman who, judging by the stiff hold of her admittedly impressive shoulders and the dusting of charming pink across her cheeks, could absolutely hear them.

Caleb didn’t think it mattered much to stop Beau. She was having fun very harmlessly, and Molly’s warning from before suggested this was common. Instead he met the eyes of the large woman, holding the contact despite the discomfort it brought him, and lifted his drink in her direction. Solidarity. Awkward, awkward solidarity. The woman, Yasha he reminded himself, returned his gesture with a nod and from his place sprawled across her shoulder Molly downright giggled. They were all drunk disasters, as promised.

At some point Nott had dragged away their DD, the blue tiefling who had expressed a gentle discomfort with drinking that spoke of experiences. They had gone off to do something, and Fjord had followed after like a very concerned duckling as they cackled away. Now it was just the four of them, not really sitting together but also not sitting apart, as Beau rambled about the arm muscles of a near to goddess named Yasha.

It was all… very charming. Caleb couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so comfortable with anyone, let alone this many people. And while he wouldn’t dare to say he was well and properly… comfortable… he was closer to it than he’d been in a long time. It hadn’t been since. Since he was much, much younger and fancied himself in love.

He never did know, now that he was far enough removed to consider it, what it was about her that he was in love with. Astrid. He wasn’t over her, not by a long shot. You never really got over people you once loved, you just learned to miss them less. He had learned to miss her less so well that sometimes he could even think about the moments he hadn’t loved her. The moments that hadn’t left his heart clenched and his breath short and wild. It was when he thought of these moments that he wondered. By any stretch women had never quite been his cup of tea, romantically speaking. But she had been an exception. Had it been her? Or had it been the way she was with him? Gentle and guiding, but still pushing him further. She would lead as they danced, in more ways than the literal, but he had still danced when he was with her. Had that been what he loved? Or had it just been her? Was there a difference?

His eyes burned, and Caleb realized with a start that he was drunk. Way too drunk to be thinking about this. He looked up, as far up as he could reasonably excuse as being socially acceptable, in the hopes that gravity itself would stave the sluggish tears where he could not. Instead he met red. Molly. Molly was looking at him, his coat slung over the back of his chair and his smile soft with drink and something he couldn’t read. Something almost like concern, or affection, or a mixture of both. He looked away, settling his eyes over Molly’s shoulder and letting his breath out slowly. The emotion in his gut wasn’t quite under control before Molly stood, graceful in his drunkenness as he let the waves only he could feel take his body in a way that almost seemed sensual. Or maybe Caleb was just drunk and far more interested than he should be.

“Alright you twat, my turn. Switch cuddle buddies!” The purple tiefling stood next to them, tall but not towering. Beau narrowed her eyes in suspicion and tightened her grasp on Caleb’s arm despite the way the rest of her immediately leaned a little more toward Yasha.

“Why?” She asked, the headstrong aggression of her default sober softened into an almost pout.

Molly huffed, all drama and jutted hip. “Because,” he stressed, “that’s my date you’re macking on. I blackmailed him into coming out, I want me some cuddles.”

“We’re talking.”

“He’s gay.”

Caleb didn’t correct him, didn’t know if he needed to. Didn’t know if it was true. His gut twisted.

“So am I!” Beau continued, clearly not noticing his vague distress. Maybe he was hiding it well. Maybe no one knew. The gentle cast of Molly’s gaze over his features suggested otherwise.

Molly shifted his weight to his other hip and jerked his head very pointedly at Yasha, who watched with equal parts understanding and discomfort. Truly, she was one of Caleb’s people. “So are you,” he agreed with a sharp annoyance.

Beau followed his gesture, remembering who exactly she was switching to, and sat up properly. She spared his arm a parting pat as she stumbled to the other side of the table and bodily threw herself into Yasha’s side. Yasha did not move, although a small smile did turn at the corner of her lips as Beau clung onto her arm and began blathering about needing to be carried. His attention was torn away from the image they made – admittedly quite the cute one – as Molly settled on his other side. He was close, but not touching yet and Caleb noticed that he had brought his beer with him.

“Better?” Molly asked, head tilted to the side inquisitively. His hair fell in short, purple curls between his bejeweled horns in such an artistic way Caleb thought briefly that he was like a painting. Exquisite and rich and colorful and in no way meant to be touched, particularly not by someone like him who burned so easily from his fingertips.

He stared, and beer loosed his tongue before he could think to stop it. “Not really.” Caleb looked away from the flash of concern in vibrant red eyes, instead staring defiantly at his hands wrapped around the chipped glass stein his beer had been served in. “It was not her fault. I was just thinking. About… things that are better left un-thought about.”

Beside him Molly hummed and eased himself to lean gently against his side. There was no way to settle his head without stabbing Caleb’s shoulder with his spiraled horns, but the warm press of another body against him was not unwelcome. Tieflings ran hotter than most, something about the hellfires in their blood or some other vaguely racist wives’ tale. “Wanna talk about it?” He asked, voice rolling like spiced honey with care and caution so overwhelmingly obvious in his tone that Caleb felt his cheeks heat in shame.

He glanced to the side to hide it.

“Nien. I am fine.”

“You sure?”

Caleb dared a glance back at him, wondering if Molly’s face would hold the same careful condescension he’d seen in countless strangers’ faces during break downs and anxiety attacks and moments of fierce hyper fixation. None of them had intended to understand when they'd asked. It did not, and for a brief moment his mind pipped up. Tieflings are largely immune to fire damage, with very few examples of diluted blood removing the racial advantage. This was first observed in- No one cared Caleb. Pay attention.

Blue eyes flicked to Molly’s proper, meeting his gaze head on. He was concerned, clearly, but not demanding. Not condescending. Just… there.

Caleb swallowed and made himself smile. It hurt, a little, and it felt wrong. Even he could feel that it was a bit angry, a bit broken. But it was true. “Nien, nien. I just need to… not think. For a bit.”

Molly’s returning smile was far easier, and far more beautiful as he sat upright to reach for his mug. “Sounds to me then like you’re not drunk enough.” Molly offered his mug to him, raised expectantly. “Cheers?”

“Ah. Cheers. Did you know the custom of touching glasses originated in ancient human society? It evolved as a way for a host to put his guests at ease, by serving everyone drinks from the same carafe and – ah. I am… rambling. No one cares.”

Molly blinked and leaned in, resting his chin on Caleb’s shoulder with the same easy, beautiful smile. “No, no. I do,” he corrected in a tone that was entirely, confusingly genuine. “It’s interesting. I always wondered but never bothered to find out. Go on.”

He blinked in response, slow and off kilter. Tieflings are immune to fire damage. His mind supplied, and this time Caleb leaned into the thought. There was a twist of emotion deep in his gut still, but not entirely her. Some of it was gentle affection. A soft thought of ‘Oh. That’s cute’. A gentle linger in the way his eyes caught on purple curls twined around large horns and sharp fangs peeking just behind lightly chapped lips. He focused for a moment, on a place lower, but found that he had likely already drunk his way into whiskey dick. For all the gentle interest and slight stirring there was no response. Generally, not great. But right now, it was somewhat reassuring. There was only so much damage he could do to their relationship. Drunk as he got, there was only so much his mind and particularly body would allow.

His fingers birthed flames, but tieflings were immune.

Caleb swallowed, and saw the way Molly’s eyes followed it – feeling his gut twist just a little bit more. He raised his glass and drank deeply, then bumped their mugs together as gently as his drunken hands would allow before Molly could look disappointed. “Ah… the host would drink first. Like that. To show the drink was safe. Before raising their cup to the guests and inviting them to drink in good health.”

Molly leaned his head forward, pressing lips into his shoulder in a brief kiss that burned through his coat before pulling back to raise his glass. “To our good health,” he returned with a sardonic smile that Caleb felt to his soul. “Eventually.”