#here we are speaking about her in 2024 i couldn't be happier

[uservillanelle]

POV: JODIE COMER talks about playing Villanelle in 2024. ↳ JODIE COMER at the 27th SCAD Savannah Film Festival in Savannah, GA November 02, 2024.

[woso-dreamzzz]

heres half the next part of the horrid injured bambi's version!!!

“Hola Jaume.” Bambi could feel her voice shake as she spoke into the phone. Sure she didn't speak to Alexia or Olga but she did talk to her brother on occasions ,like birthdays and christmas , or when the other needed just someone to talk to. Yes Alexia lost Bambi as a daughter doesn't mean Jaume lost his sister.

“What's up with you? You sound off,” Bambi can hear the sounds of what sounds like a kitchen in the background, Jaume awkwardly shuffling, the gas hob turnt on, a few curses here and there. 

“Yo swap to facetime?” Jaume had never seen Bambi upset, sure he's seen her emotional, the time he was visiting her and James took his first steps or the time Olivia babeled his name but he's never seen her cry. When she accepts the facetime request he's shocked. Bambi Clinton was crying but not only crying but sobbing.

But she was silent?

Jaume was horrified by the sight of Bambi. The woman sobbing into her sleeve, barely being able to catch her breath. The only indication she was crying was the free flowing tears. 

“Woah bambi que necesito respirar si us plau respira. On és tothom? On és Gràcia? On són els nens?”

“James… hospital…arm…inside.” The woman blubber she can feel her chest get tight 

“Bambi respira així d'accord?” he quickly places his phone on the counter leaning against Olgas purse and amplifies his chest movements “Igual que aquella Bambi”

As Bambi gulps in air she starts to remember the small details she's in her car: the seat itches the back of her thighs, the joints in her fingers feel stuck she realised how quiet it was. “Español No puedo imaginar la idea del catalán en este momento …” Bambi pants.

Jaume sees his sisters head fall on the steering wheel and a deep sigh leaves her lips “Por supuesto, hermana. Ahora bien, ¿qué pasó?”

“James se rompió el brazo. ¿No es agradable que el hueso sobresale? todavía está en la piel, pero como” she points her two pointer fingers together to make a triangle  to show the angle of James’ bones.” We just pulled into the hospital and it's the one where I had Liv. You would think I'm over it but I'm not, I still feel it, I still feel their hands, I still feel the blade, I still feel her being pulled out. The worst part of all Alexias hands I feel the most is her hands are the heaviest. It's been 11 years since I've had Liv and even longer since we were in the hospital and I still feel her hands all over me.” Bambi mumbles ashamed she lifts her head up and down again 

“Wait bambi gi-” 

Jaume quickly turned of the hob that had started to boil over and move it to a cooler part of the oven top

“Right go again i almost burnt down my house” he lets out a cheeky laugh and quickly picks up the phone to show his sister. 

“You really are your mothers son.” Bambi laughs an actual laugh that lets out a few happy tears, as her eyes capture a photo of Jaume and Alexia on the wall, it's off her contract extension from around 2024 its him on her hip and alexia looks genuinely happy, happier than she looked in any picture with bambi, why couldn't alexia just love her?

“Yeah well you're also mami’s daughter. So what does that say about you?” Jaume could not stop the sentence from falling from his lips; he felt the panic bubble inside him, the same panic that had once settled in Bambi but instead of hanging up Bambi was quick to add her own comment.

“I mean i dont abandon my fucking kids so?” Bambi finishes and hangs up; she feels something boil inside of her anger? Resentment? Pain? Longing? She can feel her phone vibrate most likely Jaume calling her back, that was one of Jaumes traits he must have the last word, the last one to say bye on a phone call or leaving the house, even in an argument he always must have the last word. 

______________________________________________________________

“Mum? Where's Mami?” Olivia asks sweetly holding a diet coke in her hands and occasionaly rolling it over her forehead in the July heat, Grace looks over to the girl and just can see the spit of her grandfather but also seeing the hints of the woman her wife tries to forget, it was some twisted fate really Bambi having to give birth to the daughter Alexia wanted, Alexia deserved.

“Isnt she with you sweetheart? I swear I saw her walk in with you?” Grace questions holding her own diet coke, “did she not go on a walk with Abuelo?” 

“No silly mum, Abuelo went for a walk to call Abuela and asked you to get her but you were with James but you were fussing over him so you might have forgotten? But that's okay mami always says us children come first.” Olivia replies by taking small sips from her coke after finally cracking it open.

“Shit” grace whispers her eyes quickly flashing down to her apple watch to check the time theyd been there 25 minutes and no one had realised Bambi wasnt here. Quickly Grace types into her watch 

Mi amor, where are you? We are looking for you. Xxx

Not even a minute later Bambi replies;

I was just in the car called Jaume, told him what happened and had a little chat Xxx

I've been rereading this a little bit and I'm just thinking about things:

Bambi being Bambi Clinton? Definitely. Bambi's gone from Bambi Putellas to Bambi Putellas-Hermoso to Bambi Clinton.

And then her having a near panic attack and rejecting Catalan during it. Thinking about how Bambi's kids don't speak Catalan, not really anyway because Bambi's always prioritised their Spanish and their English over it.

Also Jaume propping his phone up on Olga's purse either means he's still living at home with his mums or they're visiting him and are potentially still in his house.

Bambi having medical trauma as a child and then having medical trauma during an emergency c-section with Livy.

Jaume being peak little brother energy and accidentally putting his foot in his mouth and not thinking before speaking.

Olivia being the epitome of what Alexia once fantasised Bambi would be and Bambi being her mother is peak gut-wrenching but still her insistence that the kids always come first

[letswrites]

C.L- Never be the same

Synopsis

Playlist

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

----------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 4: Pasta e gelosia (pasta and jealousy)

 March, 2024

She was back in New York. F1 2024 season was about to begin and Charles was almost begging for her to fly to Bahrain and be at the paddock with him.

“Please come” “I can't. I have a job. Plus I don't want to be seen with you at the paddock” “Why not?” “I like to be anonimous” ” “Fuck it!” “No. Don't fuck it. I can't let down those who need me here and I don't want to end like LadyDi” “But you can let me down? And I said Bahrain not Paris” “Charles” “Hum?” “If I asked you to skip a race to come watch me win a prize, make a speech or a revolutionary surgery would you do it?” “I would love to but I can't miss a race if it's not extremely needed to” “See? Same thing” he huffed “Quit your job, then. Come live with me in Monaco and travel around the globe to see me racing” “Are you out of your mind?” “I’m being serious” “You… I can't believe you!” She said with the most incredulous tone she had “What? What is so bad about it? I have enough money for both of us. Even more than you earn for a whole year of working” “Fuck you!” “Pardon?!” He was the one incredulous now “Do you think you can belittle my job, think I only do it because of money and I would rather be quiet and move to Monaco with you!? Guess what, Charles? I have a career that I love. Plus, I don't care about you because of your money. And I would rather live in my New York City full of rats and air pollution than live with someone who thinks like that about my profession and my character. Have a nice race in Bahrain” then she hung up the phone. “SHIT, SHIT SHIT!” Charles cursed “Idiot! Stupid! Can't you be mouth shutted?” he told himself.

…

March, 24th, 2024.

Melbourne, Australia 

Charles finished in P2. 2 seconds only after Carlos. He was happy, of course, but it didn't matter, cause she was not speaking to him again. Every night after a grand prix he tried to call her. But he still wasn't successful. He was there in Melbourne trying again, sitting on an airport bench, hoping she would pick that one up. And to his surprise he didn't have to wait for more than two beeps to listen to her beautiful voice on the other line “Hey…” he smiled “Hi…” “I was watching the race” “Really?” “Yes. P2. Congratulations” “Thanks” he cleaned his throat “But honestly, it doesn't matter too much” “Why not?” “Cause I am sad” “Why?” “Cause you are not here. And you also refused to talk to me all these days so” “I needed some time to think” “I took some time to reflect as well” “Anything you want to share” “Yes, please” “Go ahead” “I am sorry. For what I said or insinuated. I do think you have an honorable and respectful profession which you are passionate about just as I am about mine. So I’m sorry I made you feel worthless” “Thanks, Charles” “Also, it's ok if you are not here every race but when you have, I do want you by side” “Can't I share my thoughts now?” “Please” “Ok. I have a busy routine, busy schedule, and sometimes don't even have time for me. But  I do understand why you want me to be at the races with you, so I reviewed my agenda for this year and can make it from time to time. And I also want to be supportive to you” he smiled “It means a lot to me, thank you” “That's ok” “So, are we good?” “Yes, we are” “This makes me so happy. Now I can celebrate the P2” she laughed “But I am dying to know. Which race will you attend first?” “Imola” “May…” he took a deep breath “That's good! But, hum… Can I go visit you in New York? During my breaks?” “I would love to” “Ok” he looked forward and his flight was being called “I must go now. I am very happy we solved it” “Me too” “Alright. Bye bye” “Bye, Char. Have a good flight” “Thank you. Bye” then he hung up. The monegasque couldn't be happier.

//

May, 2024

Imola, Emilia Romagna, Italy

"Buonasera, vorremmo un tavolo per..." Charles turned and started to count how many they were "uno, due, tre, quattro..." And turned back to the hoster "un tavolo per cinque persone, per piacere" "adesso non che un tavolo libero. Deve aspettare più o meno circa tredici quindici minuti, va bene?" he chewed his inner cheek "un attimo, per favore" he turned to the group behind him "Hey, guys" they stopped talking and looked at the monegasque "Are you okay with waiting 15 minutes?"  Charles brothers agreed, such as Kimi "What about you, princess?" "It's fine" "Great!" He turned again to the hoster "aspettiamo, signore" "vorrete aspettare al bar?" "Si, vorremmo aspettare al bar" "Va bene. Seguimi, per piacere".

…

She was leaned on the bar counter waiting for the barista. Charles slipped off the conversation with his brothers, and Kimi to talk alone with her "Excuse me, lady. Can I offer you a drink?" She turned to him with a smile on her face "Such a gentleman. I'll accept the drink, sir" he smiled "What would you like to drink?" "Sparkling water, please" "Are you going to drink sparkling water?!" "Yes" Charles arched an eyebrow "Are you pregnant?" "No..." she looked down at her belly "Do you think I'm out of shape?" "You? Never" she smiled "Why are you not drinking, then?" "I don't have a reason" "Hum. Are you sure you are not pregnant? If you are, I hope that at least it's my baby" she raised an eyebrow and thought “it's not like you had enough time to make a baby”, then suppressed a giggled. "Fine! You won. I would like a..." she thought while looked at the menu "Limoncello. Limoncello Champagne. But you must drink it with me" "In the same cup?" "No" he pouted "I'm in agreement anyway". Charles turned to the bartender "Scusi, ragazza..." "Mi dica" "Vorremmo due Limoncelli Champagne, per favore" "Torno subito" they watched the barista leave "I want to thank you for coming. I know that travelling it's exausting" "It's my pleasure" she approched him "I enjoy to be around you" "I enjoy your company as well. I adore it" she smiled. The young girl came with the drinks "mille grazie!" "Prego. Volete qualcos'altro?" "Non, è tutto. Grazie!" she nodded, then left. 

She was about to sip the drink when Charles stopped her "Wait!" He tangled their arms until his glass where under her lips and hers under his lips. "Together on three" she giggled "Ok" "One. Two. Three!" They poured their Limoncello in each other's mouth. She laughed "This is so lame" "Oh, come one! This is cute. We are cute" "Yeah..." They stared at each other, hopefully she was feeling the same he was. The restaurant's hoster coughed, breaking the atmosphere they were dipped into "Scusi d'interrompere voi..." Charles turned to him "Il vostro tavolo è pronto" "Eccellente!" Then turned to the men near them "hey, guys! Let's go" and then offered an arm to her "Can I have the pleasure?" She giggled "Of course" "Venite per favore" the hoster said and they followed.

…

She sat between Kimi and Arthur, wishing it was Charles who sat at his younger brother's place. 

"So..." Kimi started "Do you have been in Italy before?" "Yes, once. In Modena. What about you?" he giggled "Conceived, born and raised in Itay" "Oh, you're Italian!" "Yes" "My grandfather's family was Italian. But I never met them" "Where are you from?" "U.S" "Where in U.S?" "Boston. But I live in New York" "Nice!" "Yeah. Anyway, you should stick into F1 Ferrari. It would be nice to have an Italian on the grid" "Are you suggesting a replacement for Charles or Carlos?" "It doesn't matter" she shrugged and drank her Limoncello. She had a weird expression on her face, she remembered the stress Carlos put Charles into and how that made her stressed at that night in Maranello "Are you angry with him?" "With who?" "Charles" he pointed, discretely, with his head "No! Not with him" "So it's with Carlos. What have he done?" "Well, he's just not my favorite person" the alcohol made her tongue slightly loose. Charles looked at her and Lorenzo's words turned into no-sense sounds only, what were them talking about? Kimi giggled "I can see. May I know why?" "Why do you care?" "I like a good gossip" she thought a bit, his honesty was appreciated by her "He got infected by a zombie virus and tried to kidnap me so he could kill me, cut my body, freeze it and keep it for eating later" "just like Santa Clarita's diet?" "Yes" he laughed, she sighed "He's stressing Charles. Then he stress me" "really? They seem to get along very well" "We don't know everything that happens behind the cameras" "oh! Fine. You won. I know about that very well" "See?" Charles interrupted them "ton eau" he placed a bottle of water in front of her "I haven't order water" I had. You drank alcohol, you need to keep balanced with water" she smiled, grateful "thank, Charles" "It's nothing" she grabbed the water and turned back to Kimi. She poured the water in a glass "Vuole un po' d'aqua?"

"Sì, per piacere"  she poured in his glass "Where did you learn these?" "These what?" "The phrase you just said" "I heard a waiter saying it in Maranello" "It makes sense" she giggled "there you go"  "Thank you" she sipped the water. "You know he cares about you, right?" "I know. I appreciate it" she gave another sip "I misjudged Charles, you know? When I met him" "Did you?" "Yeah. But he turned to be a better person than I thought he was" "That's kind" "Yes. But how about you? Where fro Italy are you?"  "Bologna" "Always wanted to visit" "Maybe I could show you one day" she chuckled "Kimi, I'm too old for you" "I don't care you are older than me" she sipped her drink "How old are you, kid?" "17" she almost choked laughing "You're a baby!" "I'm not" "I'm telling you, I'm too old for you" "How much old?" "11 years" "Are you 28?" "I am" he huffed "You look way younger" "Thanks" he sipped his coke , trying not to feel the awkward moment "But I would love it. As a friend, of course" she grabbed her phone "Leave your number" "I am truly honored, miss" she giggled "Just stop trying to flirt with me" he laughed "I can try" "fine" "Ok, then. Have you already decided what are you going to order?" "Not really. You?" "Me neither" she turned to Lorenzo "Lorenzo, excuse me" "Yes?" "Pouvez-vous me donner deux menus, s'il vous plait?" she stretched her hand "Carrement. Mais... il n'y en a qu'un" "C'est ok. On partage" "Voilà! Et... c'est 'tu' non 'vous' pour toi" she smiled, shyly "Ok. Merci" she turned to Kimi again "Let's see..." she opened the menu and sat closer to him so they could read it together. Charles wasn't happy with that scene.

…

"What's wrong with you, Char?" "Nothing, I'm fine" "Did I upset you?" he smiled softly "No! Never. I said it's nothing" "It doesn't sounds true to me" "Why not?" "Because you look upset" "Well... You and Kimi flirted all night. How am I supposed to feel?" "What?! We didn't flirt!" "Qu'est-ce que tu me dit sur aller à Bologne ensemble, ajouter lui numéro dans ta contacts, lire le menu comme ça, hein?" he sticked in her body exaggerating what actually happened with Kimi. She smiled "Don't be jealous" "Why shouldn't I? I always have tons of reasons to be jealous but you never seem to care" "Char" "What?!"  "First of all, he's just a kid" "True..." “And also, this is not about Kimi only, is it?” “Not really?” he sat on the sand “Will you tell me what’s the matter?” she adjuted her dress and joined Charles “Since I first saw you, I feel so much about you, that is almost scary. I knew that you would put my last relationship in ruins, that you would make me dumb and blind,  that I would hate myself and never be the same again” “So you regret meeting me?” “No! I am trying to say that you are such a hard person but I’m crazy about you. So,please, make it easy to me” “I already have been in a horrible position where I was used, scammed, cheated, and I had to develop this bulletproof shell, you know?” “I understand. But I don’t get why you act like that with me. Did I give you any reasons?” “You broke up with your girlfriend because of me. I feel like the girls that my exes broke up with me to be with” “It’s  not like that” “So it’s like what?”

she was right “ I don’t… I don’t know what to say. Can’t you give me a chance? I don’t like to be the guy that lies about things being superficial only when I want to have all of you” “So it wasn't just a booty call, right?” “Are you talking about Maranello?” “Yes” “It wasn't” she took a deep breath “Sorry, Charles. It's me, not you” “It's me not you. Really? What the fuck is wrong with you?” “I can't be too close to you” “Am I contagious now?!” “No, no. I am the problem here. When I get too close to people, especially in romantic relationships, I get too attached, you know? And I can't, cause people leave and when it happens, it hurts excessively and I don't want to feel pain anymore” “I already told you I ain't leaving! I show it to you! What else can I do to make you believe me and trust me!?” “I don't know. I tried already but this mechanism of pushing away works so well for me…” “So I am the only one taking risks and trying hard here?” “Not completely” “This is fucking ridiculous, I do understand some people are dismissive because they have trauma or whatever but I can't be with someone who's not willing to try not to be dismissive with someone who's as supportive as I am” she could tell Charles was hurting “Charles” she touched his wrist “I am sorry. This is very hard to me” “I know it's. But I am here to help you. Support you. Hold your little but very skilful hands through the damn process” she looked at him “Ok. I can try” “I only believe seeing it” she chuckled, then poked his chest “Stop!” “I am being serious! This is the last time I am trying” “Fair enough” he smiled, then kissed her forehead before pulling her to a hug. “And just for the record…” she started “I really like you. You don't know about that but I see you everywhere. In the subway while I cross New York to go to work, in my bathroom when I shower, in my kitchen when I cut tomatoes, in the elevator of the building I live in, in my apartment which number is 1610... And there are other places but I think you get it" he crossed his arms "I got it, you flirted with Kimi and now wants to compensate me" she rolled her eyes and kissed him in the sequence. He placed his hand on her face then waist and when they parted he pulled her for another hug and buried his face on the crock of her neck. Her white silk dress was so soft he wanted to live there.

"Je te vois partout aussi" she breathed in his cologne and the cool night's air filled her nostrils. “I feel like I can live here forever” “Me too” “I have good news to you” he lifted his head “What's it, princess?” “I am going to Monaco. See you race at home” he smiled brightly, then jumped on her and threw her on the sand standing on top of her and kissed her lips “You just gave me the best news” she smiled “Did you book a hotel?” “Of course” “So unbook it. You are staying with me” “At your place? In Monaco?” “Yes. I refuse any rejections coming from you” “Do you know what it sounds like?” “What?” “A living dream” “I can make all your dreams come true if you let me” she smiled “You can start with kissing me with those beautiful lips of yours” “As you wish, my lady” he pushed down and lost himself on her lips. Next Sunday was going to be great, he could feel it.

[thececeverse]

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ NAMIE AT WATERBOMB 2024 ... !

The industry's pretty girl finally made her Waterbomb debut! After four years of being one of SM's most successful solo acts, she finally made her long-awaited appearance at the hottest festival of the summer, and like everything Namie does, her set was gold! She had previously said herself that she didn't want to perform at Waterbomb as a soloist until she had enough summer hits, and after releasing the song of the summer this year, she undoubtedly made a splash. So, let's go over what happened, shall we?

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ ( WHAT SHE WORE ... ! )

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ ( THE SETLIST … ! )

WHY DON’T YOU KNOW

OPENING MENT … !

BUBBLEGUM

BLUE CHAMPAGNE

KNOCK

INTERMISSION … !

HEY GIRL

NO. 1

HIGH ROLLER

I’M NOT COOL

OBSESSED

BE MY BABY (LOVEY DOVEY)

CLOSING MENT … !

CUTIE HONEY

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ ( WHAT WENT DOWN … ! )

She's finally here, y'all! Namie's at Waterbomb! We did it!

Namie nation was so pissed every time she didn't go for the last two years, but once SM announced that she'd be going, it was all sunshine and rainbows for the first time since 2022!

She reached the peak of her fame (again) this year, so she and the rest of Pink Marmalade were trending like hell!

Namie has always had quite a lot of creative control over her solo work, and it was obvious here! She was so involved when it came to her styling for the festival (because of course she was), and she went full Y2K! She was taking inspiration from Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Ciara... like in the weeks leading up to Waterbomb she was quite literally making whole moodboards. Like, girl, it was serious.

And speaking of styling, let's get into those boots! No one knows how Namie's stylist even sourced those, but somehow it happened. They were truly the cutest thing that any idol has ever worn to Waterbomb, and "HER BOOTS" was trending for hours. So many people were attempting to find them, and Depop crashed a couple times as a result... oops!

Her Versace bikini top was also quite the hot topic! Like, fashion icon we know this already!

Aside from that, Namie's setlist was insane. She literally had all of her hits, all of the summer bops... but a good chunk of her fans were wondering where her debut singles were. And surprise, surprise, it wasn't SM behind the lack of debut era Namie.

It was Namie herself, actually. 😭

She didn't want any of her debut work on her setlist because not only did she kind of outgrow that (she's 24, y'all, come on), but those tracks really didn't fit the whole vibe of the festival. And yeah she's definitely right, but the people would've loved to hear just a wee bit of "Heart Attack," Namie!

But my God her set was incredible. She was smiling the whole time, interacting with the crowd like they were her best friends, and dancing like SM's lights were hours away from getting shut off. Like she bodied the choreography for "I'm Not Cool" like we all knew she would!

And the way she threw her hat once the chorus started... mothering.

For some reason, no one expected Namie to perform "Hey Girl" or "No. 1," but she did! Those are two of her biggest hits, and the crowd couldn't be happier!

At the time of her set, "Obsessed" was literally an unreleased song. And it was fully in English. No one in her crowd knew the words because it wasn't even on streaming services yet and it came out of nowhere, but it sounded good! It was a hit! Everyone loved it!

"NEW SONG" started trending on Twitter the second it started playing lol.

She sang one of her Japanese b-sides, too, which was also a pleasant surprise! And since the song was so long, everyone thought that was it, and then Namie and her cheeky self went "I have a surprise for you guys" right after her ending ment... as if there weren't enough surprises already!

And then "Cutie Honey" started playing... everyone cheered!

Namie is always so expressive every time she performs this song, and it was no exception here! She was up there acting like she was about to win an Oscar and making full use of that stage.

And the best part of all? Right before the first verse started, Namie took off her cute little tube top and quite literally flung it into the crowd! The way the crowd got so loud.

Whoever caught it (either accidentally or on purpose) didn't get to keep it, though lol.

Namie was all over the water guns, too. She shot at the crowd, at her dancers, and she even shot at the rest of Pink Marmalade because of course, they were front and center for their leader! But Jasmine did not appreciate that one-sided water gun fight one bit like for some reason she got hit the most!

And guess who was also in the crowd? Venus! Namie spotted them and waved like her hand was about to fall off like... leader of Constellation nation I fear lol.

After Namie's set of course the girls had to hit the festival circuit themselves! They saw Hyo, Nayeon, Taemin, Hwasa, Kiss of Life... like they got to see all of their faves!

They took so many pictures and filmed so many TikToks, and Waterbomb was essentially just a Sixteen girls reunion! Like Natty, Nayeon, and Namie were all in one room together after nine years!

All in all, Namie was one of the It girls of Waterbomb. She had a great time, #NAMIE_AT_WATERBOMB was trending for a full day, and a fancam of her performing "Cutie Honey" went viral with over nearly 3 million views on Twitter. We love that for her! ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

ocs mentioned ... ! — venus (@venusvity) ♡

[calicopilledqueen]

Retarded ass "drama"

I've been thinking about this for a while, so why not share here. Around a year ago, I became friends with my ex-crushes friend and we hit it off really well. Her friend ( Who shall now be referred to as E and G) and I all started talking more and I felt happier because;

1)I have more friends.

2)They have the same nerdy interests as me.

The entire winter and spring of 2024, E, G and I were getting closer. Even to the point of E and G hanging around my friends as well. In late April, I discovered that G hated E, and so did my friends. To be honest, E can be annoying sometimes but so can they. G talked about her plans to unfriend E and I should too. I didn't have any negative feelings towards E so I didn't have the desire to. I did talk shit about her, but it was more of a vent because some of the things she did were just so.. eugh. During late May, I had suspicions that E like my ex-crush. Technically speaking we were "dating" for 2 weeks but he ended things due to his "busy schedule". I eventually asked E because it was just so obvious, I should at least ask for conformation. E followed him around everywhere, talked to and about him so much more than usual, and I just got this odd vibe from her. She admitted that she did like him, but she wasn't sure if she would act on it. Now, I feel like it is just odd to start a romantic relationship with your friends "ex". I know it was short, but this is high school so in my opinion it still matters. If you think about it, we did both like each other before and after the relationship so it technically wasn't that short. Anyways, I told her not to flirt with him anymore, or if she liked him that much she could be with him and not be friends with me. She said she'll stop but she didn't which angered me more. At the end it didn't matter because he still liked someone else.

2 weeks later I find out allegedly he does not like her at all. I was kind of relieved because she is the type of person do something like that behind my back. Our school has an event where you can buy discounted amusement park tickets which close to everyone attends. Basically my entire class went, and I over hear E's ex-boyfriend telling his friends (including my ex) that everyone should avoid her. That made me chuckle because I didn't realize most people dislike her. We both still had fun.

Late August, G sends screenshots of E and my ex sending photos of each other in a very provocative way...E was in a body-con dress and my ex was shirtless. That shit pissed me off so bad!!!! I asked E if they were dating, and she said no and he is interested in someone outside of school. At this point I couldn't care less if he was in love with her or if he wanted to kill her, I care about the fact that she betrayed my trust and hid the fact that there was something going on. It seems common for my friends to hide things from me. I understand that my reaction is always a lot to handle, but they never think about my reaction if I find out that they tried to hide something from me. I always find out, but I never lash out on them unless its a big secret. I am still friends with E, just not best friends you know? I think its for the best as well.

[fatimaah]

windy uni days

I am such a hater. Hated the idea of going to uni but after all, I kinda like it here? Yeah

First days weren't that good. Too many uzbek speaking people around me I felt terrible. Like a lost child. Then at the second day we had that stupid meaningless "lecture" about all the rules which we already knew from the first day. That man with glasses was speaking uzbek and at the end I couldn't stand sitting there. So I kinda sorta started asking him what the purpose of it was and we kinda sorta fought. It was fun. Anyway I just left his stupid lecture with my friend and invited her to have some coffee and talk.

We talked a lot. I met her on the first day and we've been together like lost russian children the whole time.

I like her. She's smart, classy and cool. Tho she speaks very calmly which makes me feel like I'm too loud and energetic.

She didn't come today. I met new people tho. They invited me to play uno, explore the area and then discuss anime after lessons. We ordered some desserts and got to know each other. That was cool.

The only way thing I'm concerned about for know are the lessons. We haven't had a single normal lesson yet. But they promised everything will be much stricter from next week. I don't know if I like it or no.

There are lots of study areas. I spent two hours alone doing my Arabic. At least no one interrupts you here.

Then I went outside and pet Cupid for a bit.

Overall.... it's fine.

I am feeling much happier.

Missed that feeling. (not to sound depressive but....yk, summer depression was real)

Sep 11, 12. 2024