#here personally the temperature can't make up it's mind. the nights are freezing while the days are Hot

[fstbmp-a]

Brook...

[hoshigray]

Just want to start and say hiiiii I love the work you put out and I can't get over how amazing they are. Since you said your inbox is open I was thinking about Life Guard Choso and a little lips to lips action by the pool side at night. Include anything else you see fit I don't mind☺️.

𝐚. 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: omg tyyyy !! and yippee, a choso request :DD haven't written for him in a long while

⊹ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: lifeguard! Choso x fem! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - kissing; making out - sexual acts in a public place; hotel pool room - breast fondling + sucking - fingering (f! receiving) - oral (m! + f! receiving) - praising - implied v + p insertion (ends with cowgirl) - implied unprotected sex (psa: don't be silly; wrap the willy) - cameo: Nobara (best friend) - Choso having a lil crush on reader, and lowkey being horny on the job, lawl - reader lowkey being flirty and taking the lead role.

⊹ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.7k

“—Khhh, ohooo, ohhhmyGod, Chosoooo, your tongue feels so good!”

“Hoooohh, Ch’soooo, right there! Keep scraping me right there…!”

As lifeguarding night shifts go, last night’s had to be the most bewildering Choso has ever endured.

He sits on the lifeguard chair, observing the indoor pool area inside the hotel where he’s working during spring break.  Luckily, there weren’t many customers coming to use the pool during his shifts — especially the night ones. So, all Choso had to do was watch the hours go by, go to his lunch break, and occasionally come back if he was called in for the night shift. 

What sounds like a manageable task turns out to be otherwise because someone is sitting at the edge of the pool and captures Choso’s observant brown eyes from time to time. It’s you, sitting at the edge with your feet submerged in the water as you converse with your friend — he picks up their name is Nobara – about the joys of your spring break adventures for the past few days. 

Your frequent giggles and sweet voice are difficult for him to ignore, sneaking glances under his cap to see you, shooting himself internally for taking advantage to look at you in your cute one-piece swimsuit that hugged your curves nicely. And then the warmth of his blood swiftly changes to freezing temperature when your eyes land on him, averting his gaze back into the water before him.

The ripples of the water have him thinking back on the night shift last night, his cheeks reddening as he recollects the memories…

It was a lonely shift as Choso was the only person in the indoor pool area. It wasn’t until the hour touched two hours behind midnight when the door opened and came you. As someone who’s been lowkey crushing on you for the past few days, this immediately became the worst-case scenario for the young lifeguard, forced to gawk and examine your graceful swimming and two-piece figure. 

He’s been doing that for a solid fifteen minutes, suffering in silence while his eyes scan the curves of your thighs and legs and follow the droplets of water trickle down to your cleavage. Eyeing you with such indecency, what an inappropriate thing as a lifeguard.

And it comes back to bite him on the ass when you walk out of the pool and approach him to his chair, startling the pecan brown-haired hotel worker. “Hey there,” you say so charmingly, practically inviting him with just the greeting. “I can’t help but think you’re lonely here just watching me swim…Would you humor me and accompany me? Would feel bad I’m the reason you’re here doing your job at such a late hour…”

Choso knew he should shoot down the offer as he was still on duty. However, judging by how it was nearly an hour and a half from closing the pool and that most of the other hotel workers were gone, a tiny part of him was pinching him to accept the proposal of his mini-crush. It’s just a swim, in the water and out, right…?

That’s what he kept telling himself as he was following and talking with you in the pool; although every time you referred to him by his name, swam circles around his rigid body, or tittered at his words, that statement was demonstrated worthless. The lights from inside the water illuminated your frame lured Choso in with every minute, your eyes sparkling like the broken surface tension of the water.

“Hey, Choso,” God, he couldn’t believe you were calling him by his name; it sounded too dreamlike to be reality. “Have you ever given someone CPR?”

“Uhh, yeah, like once or twice,” he replied while averting his eyes to the other side of the room as if that would help his pinkish blush not be seen by you.

“Really?” You probed, bringing your frame for the water to reach your chin. “You must know the procedure pretty well, then…Hey, let me test you then!”

Huh? “What now?”

“Okay, I’m gonna pretend to drown, and you do whatever lifeguard procedure you do to get me out of the water.” You said it with such a beaming attitude that Choso couldn’t tell if you were serious. They can’t be serious…And then, you took a giant breath before allowing your body to be completely submerged in the water, sinking to the pool floor.

Choso looked to where you were for about five seconds; you two were at around the 4th or 5th feet of the pool — there’s no way you had to be serious. But five seconds turned to ten, and you didn’t exhibit any signs of wanting to breach. It caused his jaw to drop; no shot, they’re actually serious!

With haste, Choso waddles down to your spot and drives himself into the water, taken aback in perplexity when you greeted him with a wave. He then brings a hand under your legs and one to your shoulder, breaching with you in bridal style. He voices his bafflement, “Wh–What was that idea?”

“Hahaha, took you long enough; you’re a pretty terrible lifeguard for taking your sweet time rescuing me!” You jest to him, the comment poking right through Choso’s stature and dignity. 

“I didn’t know you were serious or not…”

“Drowning is always a serious issue,” you bat your eyes at him before poking the mark across his face. It wasn’t until then that Choso realized how close he had you, your face two inches away from his, and the top of your two-piece now in his line of sight for your cleavage to capture his dangerous curiosity. He turns his head to show some modesty he has left, but it’s too late; you saw him. A twinge of your lip forms a pleasant grin, “Well, you know what happens next, right?”

He blinks and brings his face back in your direction. Surely you didn’t mean that, asking the following to make sure, “Wh…What?”

“Mouth-to-mouth, of course!” Oh, this was going way too far, the poor lifeguard holding you frozen still at your goal. “Why, you don’t want to put your lips on me? Or were you sneaking glances at me these past few days for nothing?” Another arrow that shot him down; you knew!? “You’re not quite subtle, you know. Hehe, but I find that kinda cute.” 

Choso tried to explain himself, but what only came out was stammers and squeaks. Your gaze had him internally nervous and exposed, so you had to poke him even more, “So? Are you gonna leave your drowning rescuee’s lips alone or save me?”

He gulped at the phrasing, struggling to find the words to give to you. Not you were giving him a chance because your face was moving closer to his every second he didn’t answer. And when your eyelids come down, Choso hesitantly does as well and brings his lips onto your soft ones. 

The first peck was long, yet sweetly introduced you two together. You snaked your hand up his pecs to his neck, inviting him to kiss you a second time. His restraint dissolved with every sedation of your lips on his, and it vanished wholly when his ears picked up a moan. He becomes more adventurous and chews on your bottom lip, and the whimper you let out ignites something that he’s been dying to contain for this long. 

A hot and steamy kiss that was built up to happen here and now, and Choso relishes having you like this like it’s a dream. You break the kiss with a gasp for air, panting alongside him with a smile. “Well then, do I have to tell you what should happen next, too?”

When Choso silently leads you out of the pool with him, you are pleased that you don’t have to.

“—Khhh, ohooo, ohhhmyGod, Chosoooo, your tongue feels so good!”

Choso moved you to one of the cushioned chaise lounge chairs to lie as he ripped you off your bottoms and greeted your lower half with attention. Being between your legs was far from what he ever imagined; however, with how you tase on his tongue and the wails you’re letting out for him, he can’t find it in himself to stop now. 

He licks your clit with a circle, and you squeak at the motion. “Mmmm…feeling’ good there, Y/n?”

“Ohhh, yesss, oh yessss,” you respond with a hazed expression, letting your euphoric sounds fill the quiet indoor pool room occupied by you two. “Fuuuck, lick me more, please…”

Even your requests to him were dear to his ears, obliging your folds with feverish laps and swirls. Your cries become louder, legs jolting with ever every lave and suck of your leaking fluids. But Choso holds you by the thighs, massage them to relax your body. Damn, you felt so soft to his fingers, wanting to have his hands on you for as long as he can.

You bite your lip when your hand grabs tuffs of his down brunette hair, egging him to give your clitoris more kisses and hurried licks that almost have you choke on your spit. “Oh, myGod—Mmmph! You’re so good at this, Choso…Ahhhh, oh fuck, feels too gooood…!”

Choso lifts his head to lock his chocolate eyes with yours, examining your reaction when he switches his tongue with a forefinger bullying inside your vagina. The insertion has your bold jerk upwards, squirming at the finger that’s scraping the velvety texture of your vaginal walls. He then kisses from your thigh up to your abdomen, sucking on your skin to tease. Once he comes up to your top piece, he uses his free hand to bring it up and finally releases your breasts for his eyes to survey. His mouth doesn’t waste time having a nipple inside, licking on the bud as he gropes the other breast.

“Ahhnn! Hahhh, hehe, you look so hot doing that,” you comment, making the young man sneak a glance at you before he sucks and nibbles on the nipple. His finger inside your cunt goes faster, having you whine when his thumb comes to your clit. Swipes to the delicate button erupt howls from your agape mouth, “Ohhhh, Hoooohh, Ch’soooo, right there! Keep scraping me right there…pleaseee, don’t stop…!”

He withdrew from your nipple with a soft “pop” from his lips, bringing his face inches close to yours. “Gonna cum on my fingers, yeah?” He asks to distract you from the sneaking middle finger that invades between your folds. The two digits work together to reach places you couldn’t, rubbing and scratching your inner walls with tips. 

“Yesss, yesss, I’m gonna cum…! More, more—Oh, Ohooo!” Choso kisses you again, and you happily mewl into his lips as your orgasm climbs up with the pace of his fingers and his thumb pressing and swiping on your clit. Your chasm clamps onto his digits, bringing your hands to his face to keep the kiss going as your climax hits you.

Shocks from your body prompt you to tremble under him, the walls of your slit contract around his fingers, and your hips involuntarily sway to ride out the phases of your clarity. You suck on Choso’s tongue; his groans are music to your ears while your hand travels down to his swim trunks and feels the tent of his groin.

He moans, breaking the kiss to look where your hand is. You chuckle, “It’s time to return the favor. Come on, let’s switch.”

He follows your lead and takes the position you had previously, watching you situate yourself between his legs as you bring his trunks down to have his erection spring out. He panics a little when you gasp aloud while marveling at his limb, “My, what a long thing you were hiding from me…”

Your compliment has the blush on his ears scorch him with unbearable heat, and you keep eye contact while your plump lips place kisses on the sensitive pink tip of his cock. He hitches his breath at the contact, especially at your hand, grasping his length and beginning stroking motions.

Your tongue dances around his glans and presses on the frenulum, nibbling on the rough skin while your free hand goes to his testicles, softly kneading them to provoke moans to leave his lips. “Such cute sounds from such a cute guy; keep making more for me, okay?” He places a hand on your head, a sign that you take initiative to pop his dick into your mouth. 

Bobbing your head up and down, you take in Choso’s shaft inch by inch, the warmth of your mouth doing wonders to his senses. A hand grips the cushion of the tongue chair he’s lying on, and shivers crawl up his spine when you mumble after taking it to the hilt as your voice travels through his body. 

“Mmmm…Nngohh, fuck,” he curses with furrowed brows, biting his lip when sensing your tongue lick the underside of his cock. Fuck, your mouth felt so damn good — it took everything for Choso not to rut into your mouth voluntarily. Your tight throat didn’t make it any better, and the walls enveloping his entire girth had him drooling. 

Puffed cheeks suck on him leisurely, your lips coated from the saliva covering him, the noises so erotic and out of this world. You continue to massage his balls while your mouth occupies him, alternating with your hands to go down and suck on his balls roughly.

Here is where Choso finds it hard to contain himself with every second, his thighs jerking with every sign of pleasure, throwing his head back when his dick is back inside your gummy throat. Hips subtly propel to your mouth to create more friction, and he whimpers as you happily accept him with mumbled wails and restlessly jerk him off. 

“—Kahhnn, nnmgh, shit, Yn,” your name sounds like a dazed slur, the hand purchased on your head eggs you to go faster. He almost bites his tongue when yours teases his urethra for more of his precum, “Fuck, I’m gonna cum, I’m cumming…shiiit, ohh…!”

And you give him aid, sucking on his cock harder and bobbing frantically while you use both your hands to pleasure him more. The commotion of his lower half corrupts all of his senses, hanging by a thread to hang on and howl your name out. One last lap and harsh suck on his glans induces a choked groan, and Choso finally ejaculates into your mouth.

With the thirst pump, you instantly take him back inside your throat, drinking every bit of his load exuding from his throbbing member. He thrusts as you suck him, his orgasm shaking his being with every rut and sob. He heaves and pants, your name said in helpless prayers while you suck his soul out. And, God, does he fucking love it so.

You give him mercy and release his shaft, placing more tiny kisses on it while watching Choso’s quaking frame calm down. And when he does, you bring your body off from between his legs. “Thank you for saving me, Choso.” You crawl to place a gentle kiss on his lips with a hum, and then you relish the cute sounds he makes as your wet cunt meets his length. 

“Let me reward you by pampering you more...”

“….—op, don’t stare at him so hard!”

“Is that him?”

Choso snaps back to the present when he hears familiar voices speak — it is you and Nobara he finds that are looking at you from across the poolside. Nobara being the one staring dead at him; your best friend’s eyes feel like daggers piercing Choso’s pale skin. It made him gulp with nervousness.

Then, she cocks her head and leans to speak. “Doesn’t look so bad; don’t know about that mark on his face, though…How long was it, again?”

“Shhh, be quiet!” You slap her arm to silence her, making the mistake of looking at Choso. You two look into each other’s gazes for a few seconds, the warmth of your cheeks creeping up and having you two sever your faces elsewhere. 

Nobara saw the exchange, lifting a brow before asking you, “So, do you want me to give him your number, or would you like to fuck him again before that—Oww!!“ Another slap to her bare shoulder, she winces this time.

“Jesus Christ, shut up!”

@screampied 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

requests/thirsts are open hehe~ 🧸

© 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2024 – reblogs and comments are wholeheartedly appreciated ☆ dividers by @/benkeibear.

[fluffydisneyprincess]

Training Session

I was looking forward to this training session. With my magical skill being a little more potent than my peers it was decided to keep me separated while I learned to weaponize it. At first it made for easy bait for flirting, but I wasn't in the mood for it today. My jaw still ached and I could still taste blood from last night.

Superior said nothing as I shucked off my jacket and rolled my shoulders. There was the faintest trace of concern in his eyes which wasn't surprising. He was the only person to see me still covered in blood last night. Even if the bruise had faded a bit, he knew how bad it had been only hours ago. I swear on every Gift on this miserable planet that if he goes easy on me I'll just murder him.

"We're starting with physical sparring," he announced without looking up at me. His attention was wholly focused on adjusting the glove on his left hand. Did he think hiding it would make it less obvious?

"Excuse me?" I snapped harder than I should have. "If I wanted to just spar with someone I would have picked that egotistical ass making comments earlier. You're supposed to be training my magic."

"We'll get to that," he said finally looking up at me. "First I want you to hit me. As hard as you can."

"Is this about last night?" My blood was starting to boil. The taste of my own wrath was acrid on my tongue and yet I couldn't force it down. Did he really believe I couldn't defend myself? What did he take me for, some stupid damsel?

"It might be." He shook out both arms and both crystal blue eyes locked on me. "What would you do if it was?"

He was trying to stoke my anger. Dimly, I was aware of that. Maybe he just didn't believe I would give it my all if I were in a good mood. Mauve he knew if he passed me off enough I'd stop asking questions and just do it. I grit my teeth and pulled my fist back before feeling the temperature drop.

"If you try to use magic I will freeze you to the floor," he warned so casually I nearly ground my fangs dull.

I took a swing as hard as I possibly could and without so much as blinking he shifted out of the way. Another swing and he deflected by knocking my wrist away. He was amazingly quick. How could a human be so fast? It made me feel frustratingly slow and weak. So much of me was locked behind that gods forsaken seal. The thought only made me angrier and soon I wasn't just trying to hit him. My leg swung out to try to catch him in the ribs when he caught my foot and twisted me off balance. I hit the floor with an angry snarl.

"Just as I thought. You rely entirely on your magic to get you by. Should you find yourself in a situation where you can't use it you'll be powerless. Completely helpless." He crossed his well muscled arms, looking down at me like I was a child that had disappointed him.

I was ready to burst. I had speed, strength, and so much power it would boggle his annoying human mind. I just couldn't get to it. Was this really worth it to stay here? At least in Hell I'd be able to be myself. I wouldn't be looking over my shoulder all the time. I'd be among people like me.

But Nessa would never see Hell, and neither would Aunt Ley. Even this absolutely insufferable ass of a superior... That was what I was hiding for. Not for the first time I wished there was a way I could have the same both I had grown up with.

I took a deep, calming breath, and forced myself to get to my feet slowly. If he wanted a fight then fine. I would fight. I would anything if it meant staying here.

"You've calmed down," he noted approvingly. A lopsided grin sparked to life on his lips. He took a loose stance with his feet apart. "Now show me what you can really do."

[pedrosbisch]

My Sun and Stars

Santiago ‘Pope’ García x F!Reader w nickname

Chapter 2- Fight Night Read: Chapter 1 here

Summary: The night after Santi brings you home, you go to Benny’s match. Will there be more than one fight tonight? More sassy reader being done with Santi’s shit 😂 Rated M for Language

AN: Hello! I’m so happy you’ve all enjoyed the last chapter, and I’m so thankful for the support I’ve received so far!

TW: Some non descriptive violence; Angst

You enter into the arena and you automatically think this stinks. You take one step inside; and the pungent odor of dust mixed with sweat and BO assaults your nostrils.

“C’mon down this way, I saved us seats up front near Benny’s corner.” Says Will, as he leads you and Frankie down the crowded aisles.

You take a seat with your snacks and pass them along to down to Frankie and Will as you wait for Benny to come out. You can’t help but notice that despite his promise, Santiago was nowhere to be seen.

“Pope’s running late again I see.” You say half whispered, thinking about your previous night’s encounter wondering if it has anything to do with you. “Maybe he found another nice piece of ass in the parking lot.”

“Hahaha; I don’t think there’s any type of ass he’d be interested in here tonight, Hail.” Will says subtly pointing to a pot bellied man with a braided beard nearly down to his trousers.

“I don’t know Will, he was in Columbia a long time. Maybe his preferences changed.” Frankie jested, and you all broke into laughter.

“You guys better not be talking shit, unless you guys wanna go in the ring next!” Interjects Pope as he saunters up to your group. He hugs both the guys, and squeezes himself into the space between you and Frankie on the bench. “Hey Hail, how you feeling today?”

“Uh, better…Thanks. I barely remember getting home last night. I have vague memories of pulling up to my apartment and you uh…” You could feel your face going red and more than one set of eyes on you. And he's so close; Why did he have to sit next to you?

“Wait- Pope you…? Hail why didn’t you call me I would’ve came and got you. I was worried about you all night.” Will looked back and forth between you, trying to figure out if his suspicions are true.

“I drove her home and walked her up to her apartment. I should’ve told her to call you but she was passed out on the couch before I left. I didn’t want to wake her, that’s all. You think I’d let our girl here fend for herself while she was drunk?” Santi wraps an arm around your back and subtly rubs at a piece of bare skin with his thumb.

What the fuck is happening? Why do I kind of like this...? You almost relaxed into his touch; He's warm, and he still smells so damn good compared to the rest of the crowd around you. You wish you could bury yourself in his chest again, forgetting where you were and who's around you.

“No Santi that’s- Our girl? Since when do you two get along? ”

Your attention snaps back from your fantasy long enough to realize you were leaning into Santi. You straighten your posture and feign a stretch, wiggling back into a position closer to Will.

"Uh well, as much as I hate to admit it he was a gentleman last night and helped me when he really didn’t have to. So I don’t think I should hold that introduction against him.” You look ahead to the ring avoiding their gaze, hoping that they won’t push any further on the subject.

A minute later Benny comes out, and all the attention is centered back on him. 2 brutal rounds later, Benny places a left hook just under the guy's jaw and knocks him out. Cheers erupt from your small group and popcorn flies as you jump up from your seat.

As the crowds die down and start to filter out; Will and Frankie walk to the men’s locker room with Benny, leaving you and Santi alone.

“Glad you’re feeling better today, although I wouldn’t mind you being as nice as you were last night."

“Hey, I have been nice. Did I not tell Will that we’re good now? You don’t have to push your luck.”

“Ohhh, I get it. You just don’t want me calling you our girl, although you did seem to like when I put my arm around you. Don’t think I didn’t see you, how your cheeks got all flushed. But don’t worry, it was adorable.” He brushes his finger gently along the bottom of your chin and your jaw drops.

“You know, I was having a good time til you opened your mouth Pope. I’d appreciate if you pretended last night never happened.”

“Oh now I’m back to Pope again? And what part exactly would you like me to pretend never happened? The part where you said I should ask you out to dinner, or the part where you told me I smell too good to say no?”

Fuck. You didn’t think he would take it to heart, or bring it up considering you were supposed to be friends now. “You’re such an asshole. I was drunk and vulnerable and now you’re throwing it back in my face? I should’ve just taken my chances and walked home last night.”

“Woah, Princesa when did I say I was making fun of you? No, baby not at all. But you should let me take you out to dinner- I even wore that same cologne you like.”

You freeze. Your brain turns a mile a minute as your jaw hangs slack. “Fuck this, you really think I’d go out with you just because you’re wearing some shitty cologne? I liked the guy who took me home last night and dropped his bravado at the bar stool.”

His face drops and any trace of ego is removed from his voice. “C’mon Hail, I was just-“

“You were just nothing Santiago. I don’t go on dates so a guy can fuck me after buying me dinner. I’m not another one of your fucking conquests, so drop it.”

You walk away from Pope with your heart pounding in your ears. How dare he assume so much of you? He doesn’t even know your real name; Or anything about you for that matter.

You make a b-line for the locker rooms, praying they’ve cleared out by now. You say your goodbyes to the boys and congratulate Benny on his win before beginning your walk home.

A few minutes into your walk, you hear loud pounding against the sidewalk. You turn around to see Santiago running and slowing to a stop a few feet behind you.

“Why are you here?” You clench your jaw and do your damndest not to punch him.

“What, I can’t be a gentleman and walk you home?” He closes the distance between you and stands so close you can feel the heat radiating off of his body.

“I’m a big girl, I can walk home on my own. And if you hadn’t noticed, I left to get away from you.”

“I did notice. Who else would I annoy when you’re gone?”

“Literally anybody else Santiago, what do you want?” You take a step back and instantly shiver. The temperature has dropped drastically now that the sun has set and you wrap your arms around yourself in attempt to keep warm.

“I want to take you on a date.” Santi takes off his jacket and extends it out to you. He really is trying, you'd almost feel bad for acting so cold towards him if you weren't so scared of getting played.

“I already said no.”

“No, you said no to dinner. C’mon Hail, why not? I want to get to know you better.”

“Fine— you know what? I’ll make you a deal. If you can tell me what my name is, my REAL name then you can take me on a date.”

You both stand silently for a minute, the only sounds around you can hear is crickets chirping in the tall grass.

“I don’t know your name, you never told me.”

“You never asked. But that’s exactly my point, Santi. You don’t know me well enough to take me on a date. Get to know me as a person first, if you still feel the same way in a few months- I’ll go on a date with you.”

"Fair enough Princesa, but until then-- I'd like to know your real name." Once again, he holds out his jacket toward you pleading with soft chocolate eyes to take it.

You slip into his jacket and bask in the leftover heat from his body. It smells like him, and you can't help but let a smile crack through.

You tell him your real name.

"Beautiful," he brushes his fingers up against the side of your face, "just like you."

You start walking again and he follows, beginning not only your journey home; But something much more.

[atinysunbaby]

Meant to be | Choi San 🖤

Warnings : Cursing, violence, mention of rape.

Words count : 2.2 k

Previous 《 Prologue

Masterlist

Chapter 1

Present

My cheeks are burning from the salty tears escaping my eyes. A tightening feeling in my chest growing by the minute. The sobs keep escaping me, making my body move uncontrollably. Chocking from the sharp inhales and shaking from the cold temperature. This moment, forever will be imprinted in my mind. Those images I wish I could forget, unfortunately will hunt me till my last breath.

I suppose it's what most people feel too when they lose their parents. I wanted to deny it, but I saw their bodies. They were cold, bruised, bloody and no longer held any signs of life.

The last time a saw them, I didn't bother much to say goodbye to them. Only telling them to enjoy their little vacation in the woods. I was more exited about being alone then making them know how much I loved them. Now it's too late, I'll never be able to see their faces again, hear their voices, feel their arms around me when I need them the most.

I woke up to my cellphone ringing this morning, answering grumpily, thinking it was my mom who disturbed me from my sleep. It was actually the cops telling me to come to the hospital, but I wish it would've been her instead. I wish she could annoy me every morning now, but it's over. She isn't here anymore and neither is my dad.

I'm in my room, at this moment, crying my heart out. I ran out of the hospital immediately after seeing their corpses. They wanted me to identifie them, but I left with people screaming for me to comeback. I guess they probably know from my reaction, that it was indeed my mom and dad.

People keep calling me on my phone, but I don't answer. I'm laying on the floor, looking at the ceiling, waiting for my sadness to subside. I know that won't happen anytime soon, but it's the only way for me to calm down. Being surrounded by people telling me how sorry they are for my loss. A bunch of fake assholes making me feel even worse about the situation definitely won't make anything better.

Slowly my eyes get heavy, I try to fight the exhaustion but fail miserably. I fall asleep on the cold floor of my room, my window open and the sound of rain filling my ears. All of this crying definitely used up a lot of my energy.

The car crash, I wasn't there and I have no idea of what happened. But I see it, something is in the middle of the road and dad just told mom a joke. They're laughing.. until they hit that thing, an animal maybe. It goes right through the window and kill my dad instantly, but as for my mom. The car rolls off the road and fall down a small cliff. Mom's still alive, she's in pain, blood everywhere, she's crying for her husband to open his eyes and answer her. She keeps screaming that she can't feel him anymore? His presence? Her breathing is getting worse the more she panics. Suddenly the door on her side opens and something stabs her in the chest, putting a end to her desperate cries. Blood is streaming down her chin, her eyes looking directly through mine while she takes her last breath.

I open my eyes to see nothing but darkness. I frantically search for a sign of light, I reach around with my hands. My eyes are open wide and my breath shaky, until my fingers brush against an object. I stop every movement, slowly gripping it and letting a breath of relieve when I realise it's my phone.

I turn it on to see a ton of messages and missed calls. One standing out, my aunts name, my mom's sister. I never talked to her, but mom insisted on giving me her number. I look around my room and stand up to look outside the window, only to notice that it's night time. The reason of the darkness and freezing temperature. I close it and turn the lights on in my room. Then I sit on the corner of my bed and hesitate a few minutes while looking at the screen in front of me. My fingers finaly press on call. A few rings later, Aunt Kath's voice is heard. "Y/N! Y/N is it you?"

"Yes it's me.. why did you cal-" I'm cut off by a loud sob. My eyes widen in confusion, but I soon remember that my mom, her sister is no longer a part of this world. I sigh and wait for her to stop crying on the other side of the line. "S-sweetie- where are you? Are you safe? You're not alone ar-"

"Kath, my parents just died. I'm obviously not partying right now, but I'm okay.. I guess.." She stays silent for the next few seconds, my blunt answer probably wasn't expected, but it's understandable. "Sweetheart-I uhh.. you have no one to stay with right? So.. your mom made me your godmother, i-in case anything happened to her.. will you come live w-with me, here in Korea?"

It takes some time to process what just came out of her mouth, my eyebrows are furrowed. Many feelings are fighting to take control of my body, but the one that wins is frustration. "W-what?.."

"She told me to take care of you if she wasn't there anymore... It was just a precaution, but I guess it really happened." She says with a small voice, trying not to upset me further. Judging from my lack of response, she can tell I'm not that excited about this new information. "I asked you, but it ins't really a choice that you have. It's an obligation, you can't stay alone out ther-"

I hang up, not wanting to listen even for one more second. I need some time to think about it. She's right, I don't have much of a choice. I turned seventeen not too long ago and I don't have any family member here. At least none that I know of. I sigh defeated, once again pressing on my godmother's contact.

She picks up not even a second later, as if she knew I was gonna call her back. She doesn't say a word, waiting for me to start talking. I clear my throat after freeing my lower lip from my teeth. "How will I get there? How about my clothes and everything else in the house? My parents' funera-"

"I'll take care of everything you don't have to worry, just bring the necessary and I'll transfer some money on your account so you can pay for your plane ticket. As for the ride to my house, my boyfriend will pick you up" She spend a whole hour explaining to me how everything will go and I agree after hesitating for a while. If my mom gave Kath the role of godmother, she must trust her. So I will trust her too, anyways I don't really have a reason not to. She's been nice till now and she'll even welcome me in her house, she's taking me in. "Thank you Kath, I really appreciate it. I don't know what I would've done if I was all alone."

Days later

I prepared all my stuff, ready to fly to Korea. It took me a while to accept, but eventually I warmed up to it. It's an opportunity for me, to start over. A new life full of adventure, new environment and culture. I want to explore the world so why not start there.

Unfortunately though, I had to say goodbye to all my friends. We cried and spend the last few days together. We promised to text each other everyday and not to forget about one another. Sad thing is, my friends aren't the only ones I need to leave behind. It's hard to leave the place I grew up in, my house, my neighbourhood, my city, everything.

In a few hours, everything I ever knew will all be in the past. Only the memories will stay, the rest, all gone. So the day my parents died, I didn't only lose them, but my life too. The life they gave me. Now, I have to make a new one, by myself.

Landing in Korea

The flight was boring and quite annoying, I didn't know what to do. A baby cried for what felt like years and a couple had an argument at some point. Then the person next to me started to snore so loudly I thought the plane was crashing. I'm glad to finaly be on the ground, the loud voices of people speaking indistinctly seeming to sooth me from what I went through previously.

I sit on one of the chairs in the airport waiting for James, my godmother's boyfriend. He'll drive me to their house, apparently Kath arranged a room for me already. She doesn't have any kid, so she's looking forward to having me over.

"Y/N!!" I jump from the chair almost falling on my ass. I luckily manage to stay on my two feet and not make a fool of myself. Upon hearing a chuckle, I turn around and see an old looking dude smirking at me, maybe in his late forties. "Umm.. Hi can I help you?"

"James, I came to pick you up remember?" He asks while pointing at himself. I'm still unsure, he's looking at me weirdly. I can feel an odd vibe from him. It makes me feel uncomfortable, but I push it aside and nod before following him.

We enter his rusty jeep, the doors creaking when moving. Despite the outside looking a bit ugly, the inside is clean. The only negative point would be the smell, cigarette and..alcohol? Paying a bit more attention to the smell though, it doesn't only come from the jeep. The man next to me is even worst, it seems that he might shower rarely. Subtly, I bring my sweater paws to my nose, looking outside to distract myself.

"So, Y/N! How you holding up?" His loud and deep raspy voice makes me jump for the second time. I turn a bit a towards him not to be impolite and think before answering him. "I guess it's a bit easier then I expected. I didn't think that I'd feel any better, but after a few days it prove me wrong. But I feel bad, to already move on.."

He hums next to me, nodding his head lazily. I wait for him to add something, but the car is filled with silence. I'm relieved he doesn't speak further, not really being in the mood to have a whole conversation, especially with someone I don't know. So, slowly I turn back around towards the window. My mind drifting to the events that happened in just a few weeks, everything is so fucked up. Fortunately, Kath and James decided to help me.

About an hour past since we came out of the airport. We just entered a forrest, James informed me that it'll take a while still. He insisted that I should go to sleep and when I'll wake up, we'll be home. I ponder for some time, but eventually agree. It doesn't take long for me to fall asleep due to not being able to get much sleep in the plane.

I wake up when the car come to an halt, a man's voice coming from next to me. Curses escaping his mouth, confused I open my eyes. The events from the previous hours coming back to me, tears threatening to escape my eyes. My body shaking slightly from fear, uncontrollably.

The ride was a lot longer then what James had told me it would be and I slept, only to be woken up by a hand covering my mouth. Horrible things happened in that car and it wasn't a nightmare, no mather how much I wish it was one. He said he would tell Kath it took us some time because of the traffic and the airport. Then he threatened to kill me if I open my mouth.

I can't let him see me crying, I don't want him to have another reason to hurt me. Despite being terrified and completely drained from energy, I swallow the bill in my throat and wipe the tears from my eyes. While I'm breaking down, next to me James is whistling and turning the car off. Announcing with a loud scream to Kath that we arrived.

"Omg! Y/N! Sweetie you really are here." Kath comes out of the house shouting happily, her arms open, waiting for me to give her a hug. I rush to open the door, but a hand grabs my arm. His nails dig in my skin and I whimper, both from fear and pain. "Remember. You talk, you die."

He puts my bag in my hand, pretending to be helping me. Finally I escape the horrible vehicle and run into my godmother's arms with a heavy heart. The second she engulfs me in her warmth, sobs spill from deep within me. She cries with me but not for the same reason. She cries because she lost her sister and now I'm here. I, cry because I've lost my parents, I lost my house, my friends. Because I've been raped less then an hour ago. Because I feel completely broken and hopeless. The new life I wanted for myself, only starts with even more problems then I had before.

Next 》 Chapter 2

[blake-belladonna-defence-force]

It's the ✨annoying little shit✨ again

The Gremlin anon😺

Here is the ✨update✨ with what happend ✨yesterday night✨ and also ✨today morning✨

So, after I wrote my roommates conversation with Miss oh honey, I started reading it and

MY GOD!!! GIVE ME A BREAK FROM THE GAY!!!

I'M NOT USED TO THIS KIND OF CONSERN FROM SOMEONE!!! IT'S SO FUCKING ADORABLE!!!

I'M GONNA PASS OUT OF GAY OVERDOSE!!!

I wanna kiss my roommate so bad ;-;

BUT I'M TOO SHY FOR THAT!!!

But before I could panic even more, Miss oh honey gets in (I was in my roommates room because it's bigger than mine since we agreed to sleep together) and asks with big grin on her face "How ya doin?"

"Gay- Gay panic"

"Oh honey you need to make a move soon or roommates name won't handel it"

"What do you mean?"

"Honey you know that they are conserned about you and already doing that ugly sad kitten face"

"I don't think it's ugly"

"Of course you don't, you love roommates name! But now, take my advice and make a bloody move! I WANT PROGRESS IN MY SHIP"

Before I could say anything she got away and shortly after my roommate got back and didn't notice I was there

I was coverd in their blankets like a cotton ball with only my head slightly out, and for the face my roommate was doing they were in auto pilot mode

They literally started changing in front of me

And did I say anything? No cause PANIC

I COULDN'T STOP LOOKING!!!!

I TRIED TO OPEN MY MOUTH TO SPEAK BUT THERE WAS NO SOUND!!!! I COULDN'T AND I FELT LIKE A PERVERT FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO LOOK AWAY!!! I FELT SO BAD ABOUT MYSELF!!!

BUT THANKS TO JESUS AND HOLY MOTHER I GOT CONTROL OVER MY HANDS AND COVERD THE REST OF MY HEAD WITH BLANKETS BEFORE MY ROOMMATE TOOK OUT THEIR PANTS!!!

(I could only see their back since they were turned around BUT if they took their pants off... I don't want more panic and gay thoughts so I wont think about it)

As I evolved into a full white ball of blankets I felt a tap on the blankets. I got my head out and I saw my roommate only with a fucking top on, but with a really sofh expression that made me melt

IT WAS SO CUTE!!! I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!!!

But while I panicked they started laughing and saying that I looked like a cute tiny fluff ball

I never blushed so must for a laugh and a compliment, that laugh was music, I want more ;-;/

FUCKING KISS ME ALREADY!!!

But as I keep staring without being able to say anything they grafmdualy stoped laughing and started looking conserned/sad (sad kitty face here we go again) and then they look down and finally notice they are only with a top on and then they say "oh- sorry" and put a shirt on

BUT I'M NOT GONNA BE QUIET THIS TIME AND I WILL SAY SOMETHING

And what I said was "Nice"

Just that... WHY ON HELL DIDN'T I SAY SOMETHING ELSE!?!? WHY GOD??? WHYYYYY!!!!??

But before I died of embaressment they asked "Nice what?"

"You are nice- I mean- I just- You are nice to me! You always have been since the beggining and uuhh... I just- I don't want you to be sad or- or think you are a jerk just because I got embaressed in the kitchen and uuhh-"

"Wait, how do you know about me thinking that?"

"I- I could hear you two talking"

"shit"

And this when I finally notice how hard blushing!!! Were they that embaressed? But before I could jump into conclusions I rembered Miss oh honeys advice abd asked "Uh- glup Why are you so worried about me?"

Looked at me with an expression I couldn't quite read and said "It's cause- sigh You've already been through so much... You deserve to at least be confortable in your own house, to have a safe place to yourself... Don't you think?"

I just- Give me second I need to CRY MY EYES OUT!!! WHY ARE TOU SO CUTE!?!? WHY!!!?? WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME!!!!???

*incoherent gay gremlin noises*

I didn't notice I was crying until my roommate, with a very conserned voice, asks "Are you ok!? Why are you crying!?"

I kept sobbing until the picked me up, with blankets and all, and hugged me tight

I NEVER FELT SO GAY WITH JUST A HUG!!! IT WAS SO SAFE AND WARM!!!

I MELTED!!! I'M NOW A GAY GREMLIN JELLY!!!

At a certant point they layed down with me and cuddled me. I felt so tiny but yet so loved, it was so good and safe ;w;

Is this what real actually good relationships feel like? Cause I love it ;w;

I'M GAYING SO MUCH OVER THIS!!!

And before we went to sleep, my roommate wiped my tears and said "Well, if it makes you feel better, I think you're hella strong"

"snif What do you mean?"

"I mean- I still about that time I saw you knocking out a guy, that was built like a greek god, twice your sise, in front of our door step!"

"Oh that- that was just-"

"Was just hella impressive!!! I ALMOST DROPED MY FOOD!!!"

THIS IDIOT MAKES ME CRY AND THEN LAUGH AND FEEL HELLA GAY ALL THE FUCKING TIME!!! don't GIVE ME A BREAK!!! I NEED TO REST!!! And that's actually what I said to them, but more like this

"Jesus Crist- Look, let's sleep already before I pass out" AND MANAGE TO SOUND FUCKING CASUAL ABOUT IT!!!

It was because I was really tired

BUT STILL COUNTS AS A VICTORY!!!

So, after I said that, my roommate nods in aproval and fucking kisses me in the forehead

WHAT'S WITH YOU AND MY FOREHEAD!!!??

Anyway, we fell asleep and this morning when I woke up, first thing I do is check tumbler, and when I get there I see shitlords ask about gremlin-fever and the gremlin in back of my head is like pspspsps do iittt

After I send that ask about giving permition for you to use my story as a fanfic I put my phone back in the table, roll over, and PROCEED TO HAVE A FUCKING HEAR ATTACK!!!

THAT DORK ON HAS SHORT AND A TOP COVERING THEM!!! IT'S FUCKING FREEZING OUTSIDE THE BED BUT THEY ARE BOILING!!! LITERAL VOLCANO TEMPERATURE!!!

I'm starting to think that shitlord anon was right about the fevor in a literal way...

BUT THIS IS NOT WHAT BOTHERS ME THE MOST!!!! THE FACT THAT I CAN FEEL EVERY INCH OF SKIN IN THEIR BODY!!!

But them I look down and see their arms around me AND FUCKING HELL HOW STRONG IS THIS BITCH!?!?!

I probably panicked for and hour or so before I realize... I CAN TOUCH IT

I now I'm the volcano!!! But when I start touching their belly OUT OF GAY CURIOSITY

THEY OPENED THEIR EYES AND ASK "What are you doing?"

WHAT DO I ANWSER TO THAT!!!??? I CANNOT JUST SAY I WAS TOUTCHING YOU OUT OF GAY PANIC

BUT IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE A BETTER EXCUSE THAN THAT!!!

So, as an intellectual, I said "I- I was j-just c-curious to know how it f-feels to touch it"

"You were curious to know how it feels to touch other persons abs?"

"Well... Yeah b-but not- Not, like- I'm inocent I swear!!!"

They started laughing at me and got closer, and with their fucking casualty say "You can it I don't mind, you're inocent after all"

I WANNA DIG A HOLE AND HIDE!!! YE GODS ABOVE HELP ME!!!

But I remberem shitlords anon little tip, and actually got the courage to kiss their forehead. The moment I kiss tgeir forehead they stop laughing and blankly stare at me for a solid minute, BUT THIS TIME I'M GONNA BE THE ONE TEASING BITCH, so I said what shitlord anon said "I was just checking your temperature, you look like you might have a fever"

I MANAGED TO HAVE COURAGE TO SAY THAT WITHOUT SOUNDING LIKE A DYING SQUIRREL!!!!

IT'S REVENGE FOR MY ENDLESS PANICS!!!

They didn't even say anything anymore, they just nooded, IT WAS PRICELESS!!!

But then, Miss oh honey opens the door saying "GOOD MORNING LOVE BIR- Oh- Am I interupting something?"

We both just stare and since she cant se if we have clothes or not due to the blankets she does a shit-eating-grin and says "Oh- Sorry to interrupt your bonding time~ I will let you continue~ giggles"

I DIED RIGHT THERE!!!

But my roommate was FUCKING PISSED

They got out of bed and started chasing her, screaming her name in pure rage!!

And I stayed in the room... Looking at the ceiling... Thinking about my life choices...

BUT PLEASE CAN SOMEONE SEND HELP

I need it ;-;

IT'S TOO MUCH GAY PANICS!!!! HELP!!!

And also, Miss oh honey is gonna sleep here today, cause aparently one of her neighbors has covid, and his wife texted everyone that he is coming back from the hospital so he can rest home (cause the hospitals are all full and he is not having trouble with the desease), like, he got positive a month ago, and Miss oh honey went for test and got negative, she stayed at home for a while to make sure she was okay, and since her covid neighbor wasn't at home with is family cause ge stayed in the hospital (and none of is family has covid, fortunatly)

So, baisically shes gonna stay for while...

Hope ya'll have a nice day/afternoon/evening/night

- gay panic Gremlin anon

Holy shit— you go, Gremlin anon! I don’t think I’ve ever been this proud of a stranger before in my life 😂

Y’all are too cute and I’m dying. Good luck with your roommate and your wingwoman Miss “oh honey”, Gremlin anon xD

[bumblesimagines]

No Light, No Light

Request: Yes or No

I'm doing everything but that Jacob Black fic lmao. I'm obsessed with this song and this (Y/N).

You are the hole in my head

You are the space in my bed

You are the silence in between

What I thought and what I said

Jason watched as you laughed at one of Gar's jokes, hands covered in cookie dough as you, Rachel, and Gar attempted to make cookies. In Jason's mind, your smile alone could lift anyone's spirits and the way your eyes shone with happiness. It made his heart swirl with affection and butterflies fill his stomach. You grinned, rubbing cookie dough on Rachel's cheek. She squealed, laughing. Gar took the opportunity to eat some cookie dough before Rachel could scold him.

"Jay!" Christ, nobody could make his legs turn to jelly and his cheeks turn soft pink like you.

"Come join us." You cooed, eyes soft and angelic.

You are the night-time fear

You are the morning when it's clear

When it's over, you're the start

You're my head and you're my heart

You sipped on your orange juice, watching the cookies bake in the oven while Gar and Rachel laughed in the other room. Jason's eyes looked at the golden markings on your (S/C) skin. They were gorgeous and fit you perfectly. Jason reached out, tracing one with his finger. Your skin was warm and soft to the touch. You finished your juice, licking your lips and placing the cup in the sink. Jason glanced up at your eyes. You really were Apollo's son. When Kory and Dick told the team, he almost laughed. Then, he saw you. You had been very suspicious and distant at first, you had an injured wing of course, but you grew closer to the team and eventually joined them. Jason couldn't stop his feelings from flourishing.

No light, no light

In your bright blue eyes

I never knew daylight could be so violent

A revelation in the light of day

Jason hissed, hands gripping the sheets.

"Sorry." You whispered, eyes filled with cocern. You continued to use your power to close up his wound. It gave a slight burn. the deeper the wound, the more it burned. It made sense, your powers had to do with light and fire afterall. Jason shrugged.

"I've felt worse." He mumbled, watching the wound close completely. A scar took its place. You gave a small smile.

"You should be careful, Jay." You gently grabbed his hand, rubbing your thumb against his, unaware of the way his heart sped up. Jason grinned, playfulness shining in his blue eyes.

"I'm always careful, can't you tell?" He motioned to the scar. You let a laugh slip and rolled your eyes.

You can't choose what stays and what fades away

And I'd do anything to make you stay

No light, no light

Tell me what you want me to say

You took notice of the way Jason shivered. The temperature had suddenly dropped over night, it was no wonder he was freezing. You pulled the cozy and warm blanket up, giving a smile as you stood.

"Can you stay?" Jason asked, fingers wrapping around yours as he stared at you with hopeful eyes. You gave in, not being able to resist his puppy eyes. You got into bed with him, feeling him cuddle against you, seeking your warmth.

"Christ, you're like a heater." He mumbled. You chuckled, watching him use your arm as a pillow. You ran your fingers through his messy dark locks, watching him doze off. Jason scooted closer, heading moving onto your shoulder as his arms wrapped around your torso.

Through the crowd I was crying out and

In your place there were a thousand other faces

I was disappearing in plain sight

Heaven help me, I need to make it right

You watched as Dick and Jason argued, getting into each others faces. You stood up from your spot on the couch, approaching them.

"Guys?"

"If you weren't so reckless-"

"Reckless?! I was protecting the team!"

"Guys!" You spoke louder, breaking their argument. They stopped and looked at you. Dick sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He let out an exhausted sigh.

"What?" He asked.

"Can you... Solve this disagreement more calmly? Or at least not in front of the others?" You asked, motioning to Rachel and Gar. Dick glanced at them before nodding.

"Yeah," He nodded. "Can do."

"Jesus.." Jason rolled his eyes, arms crossing.

"You know what? I don't need this shit." Jason snarled, storming out after bumping shoulders with Dick. You watched him leave with a sigh.

"He'll be back. He'd never go far without you." Dick said as he walked past you. Your brows furrowed at his brows.

You want a revelation

You want to get right

But it's a conversation

I just can't have tonight

You shifted your gaze away from the music sheet and looked at the figure leaning against your doorway.

"What's up, Jay?" You asked, nodding for him to enter. He did so, closing the door behind him and getting closer to you.

"Sorry for my attitude earlier, (N/N)." He apologized quietly, barely above a whisper as his fingers drummed against your desk. You faced him, brows raising as a smile slipped.

"You should be apologizing to Dick, not me." You said, locking eyes with him for a brief second before he tore his eyes away.

"I know.." He licked his lips, gaze focusing on your lamp. "I don't want to though. Not yet."

"Okay, but do it soon." You gave a comforting smile.

"You wanna sleep in here again?" You asked, putting away your music sheets and standing up. Jason nodded, cheeks and ears turning a soft red.

You want a revelation

Some kind of resolution

You want a revelation

You approached your dresser, hearing the bed squeaking as Jason sat down. You slid off your shirt, rolling your shoulders. Jason studied your wing markings, capturing and memorizing every detail. You changed into some sweats before going to your bed and laying down. You turned off the lamp once you pulled the blankets up and shifted to face Jason. Your eyes adjusted quickly to the dark so you were able to see Jason's face more clearly. Your raised your hand, fingers tracing random shapes against his cheek until he fell asleep. You leaned closer, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead.

"Night, Jay." You mumbled.

No light, no light

In your bright blue eyes

I never knew daylight could be so violent

A revelation in the light of day

You can't choose what stays and what fades away

And I'd do anything to make you stay

No light, no light

Tell me what you want me to say

"Did Jason ever come back last night?" Dawn asked, pouring you some juice. You nodded. Her brows furrowed.

"Really? When I checked his room he wasn't there." She said.

"He slept in my room." You told her, grabbing the cup and bringing it up to your lips. Her brows raised and a smile appeared on her face.

"Oh?" You cocked a brow at her tone.

"What?"

"He slept in your bed?" She asked with a grin. You rolled your eyes, figuring out where she was going with the conversation.

"Pay attention to your pancakes, Dawn."

Would you leave me

If I told you what I've done?

And would you leave me

If I told you what I've become?

You read over an article, talking about the new Robin being too brutal and unlike the old one. You looked over at Jason, watching play random keys on your piano. You weren't aware of the inner conflict going on in his mind. He was tore between asking you if you thought he was a bad Robin or not.

"Jay?"

"Yeah?"

"You're a good person, you know that, right?" You asked. Jason sent you a grin.

"Obviously." He watched you snort and look back at your phone. He relaxed, playing a decent tune on the piano. Jason licked his lips, switching onto a different conflict. Confessing his feelings.

Because it's so easy

To say it to a crowd

But it's so hard, my love

To say it to you out loud

Jason turned in his seat, looking at you. He cleared his throat. Your eyes flickered over to him.

"You've... You're into guys, right?" Jason asked. You nodded, putting your phone on the nightstand. He nimbled on his bottom lip, racking his brain for ways to confess.

"I think, no, I know I'm into guys." He said, avoiding eye contact. Jason heard the bed squeak and looked up, seeing you sitting.

"And... For the longest time, I've had feelings for you. I thought it was just a small crush at first but..." Jason's typical confident and cocky attitude flew out the window. He was beyond nervous.

"I figured out that I really like you. Maybe more than like. You don't have to return my feelings or anything, I just wanted you to know how I feel about you."

No light, no light

In your bright blue eyes

I never knew daylight could be so violent

A revelation in the light of day

You can't choose what stays and what fades away

And I'd do anything to make you stay

No light, no light

Tell me what you want me to say

Jason felt anxious. The thought of you rejecting him was bad but the thought of you never speaking to him again was worse. He had gone to you with all of his secrets. He had spilled out all his thoughts and problems. Jason had told you about his past, Bruce, all his problems. He heard the bed squeak again and swallowed as your footsteps approached him. Jason kept his gaze on the floor, not wanting to look at you and break down. Warm hands cupped his cheeks, tilting his head up. Soft and gentle lips covered his and Jason froze up. He stood, his hands going to your wrists and grabbing them as he kissed you back. It was his first but he had seen enough to know how to kiss properly.

You want a revelation

You want to get right

But it's a conversation

I just can't have tonight

You want a revelation

Some kind of resolution

You want a revelation

You pulled back slowly, Jason almost chasing your lips for another kiss. You laughed at his flushed face and eagerness. You rested your forehead against his, bumping noses with him. Jason dropped his hands and instead placed them on your hips.

"Does that mean...?" He trailed off. You chuckled, nodding.

"Yes, you dork, I like you too." You grinned, watching his blue eyes light up. Jason leaned in, capturing your lips. It was sloppy but sweet.

You want a revelation

You want to get right

But it's a conversation

I just can't have tonight

You want a revelation

Some kind of resolution

Tell me what you want me to say

[skzluvs]

Anagapesis; Bang Chan

Genre: Lots of Angst! Slice of life!

Warnings: none

Word count: +1K

A/N: Been on hiatus for a while I’m slowly starting to write again so hopefully you like this, thanks for being patient with me. Love you and stay safe!

Anagapesis dictionary definition: anagapesis n. loss of feelings for someone who was formerly loved ; falling out of love. From Greek: an = without ; agape = love.

She became dependent to someone who couldn't reciprocate her love.

It's easy to fall in love but hard to let go when you had fallen out it.

He caressed your cheek softly, drawing circles on your skin. You stared at his eyes, deep pools darker than the night, there were no stars lightning his gaze.

There was no spark. No flame

You no longer loved him and neither did he love you. But if you shared such a mutual feeling why where you still here? Sharing affection like it was real.

Was it easier to pretend than admitting that all you had build had been blown away by the wind ? Like a dusty memory in the back of your head, you can't actually remember the last time you actually meant to say "I love you"

And it's role play more convenient.

A never ending circle. Vicious

And then you sat there at a table on a fancy restaurant, and your friends looked at you expectedly.

When the curtains fall, it's show time.

He holds your hand over the table and places a kiss on your temples, you smile at his actions; like they actually make you feel something inside.

But it's just fiction because your pulse doesn't even accelerate with the proximity of your partner.

And they whisper how lucky the both of you are; to had found your other half.

Only if they knew that night he went to sleep on the couch, cause the bed had became uncomfortable, lately.

And you didn't mind at all; nonetheless it was sad.

That you were living on this fabricated illusion, because you keep on reminding yourself.... that one day you actually loved him.

One day all those kisses and meaningful words meant everything to you, so you hold onto that, on the past, on what it was but never could've been.

It was past 3:00 am and you couldn't sleep. Tossing and turning on your side of the bed; even if he wasn't there anymore it was like his ghost still slept next to you. Thoughts clouding your mind, keeping you awake all night.

You sat at edge, turning on the lamp that instantly illuminated the cold room. Focusing on the picture that resides on top of your nightstand. You held it on your hands.

It was taken the day of your first anniversary. He was holding you in front of the bonfire as he placed a roasted marshmallow on your mouth, you were smiling with such indescribable joy. It was not the fire that made you feel suddenly warm, it was reminiscing.

You remember perfectly, even the smallest detail of that day. It was your first year together and you had to celebrate it. But he knew you were no ordinary girl, a simple romantic dinner wouldn't do. So he took you camping.

Because what's more romantic than sleeping with mosquitos on the middle or nowhere?

He truly believed it was the greatest plan he had ever came up with. You had to recognize he was thoughtful for trying to do something different.

He even try to build the tent, you stood there, just staring at him, freezing because he didn't even told you were spending your anniversary on a desolated forest, that seemed to be out of a horror movie.

But as he saw you struggling while trying to raise your body temperature he came up with another of his so called brilliant ideas ( he was so full of them). To make an old fashion heater.

When the fire started to grow on the dry branches he had placed on the floor, you jumped in excitement, kissing your boyfriend for being able to do it all.

And that's how the night went by under the open sky where the stars shine and the pale moonlight reflects over his face, defining every detail, he was even more beautiful up close. In that moment nothing mattered because love was youthful and earnestly.

You looked back at that point in your life where your relationship felt real. Where it was almost tangible. But that emotion slipped right through your fingers throughout the years.

It grew tired until it break and now all you were left was with the broken pieces of your first love.

The one who sleeps on the living room and doesn’t kiss you goodnight.

He saves them for the audience.

The public displays of affection where strictly, just that, only visible when someone else was looking.

But behind closed doors there was absolutely nothing, no need to keep an appearance. You barely held a conversation with him. There was no interest. No need to talk when your actions already said it all.

It was getting exhausting, to live on a house full of memories. The ones you held on for so long. But you grew used to it, to see him leave early in the morning before you wake up, to fall asleep alone and wake up the same way on an empty bed.

At the beginning it was hard, Seeing how your relationship became nothing but a mere routine.

you stopped crying at night the day you realized that it was partially your fault, because you stopped loving him halfway. You started to feel helpless.

And you couldn’t live like this anymore. It was suffocating. You took a quick glance at the picture and turned it upside down, placing it back next to the lamp.

A sudden adrenaline rush traveled through your body. It called for a change.

You grabbed a suitcase and threw most of your belongings inside. Running from one side to the bedroom to the other trying to gather as many as many things as you could fit inside your bags.

Once the were packed you silently made your way to the living room.

He was there sleeping peacefully, for a moment you thought it was cute; how he was snoring, his mouth slightly open and his messy blond hair all over the place, falling on his forehead.

He was probably the best thing that could’ve ever happened to you, but good things don’t last, they tend to be ephemeral.

You got to spend the best years of your life next to the man of your dreams, and you don’t regret any of it. But love is like a match, once it lights up it wraps you in a warm embrace as it slowly runs out leaving you in the dark again. Slowly consuming itself as it grows cold leaving nothing but cloudy smoke.

You’ll continue to treasure those beautiful moments when he was still by your side. It’s time to let go now.

Your boyfriend... it sounds bitter to call him that, the person laying on the couch was a nothing but a stranger to you. Somebody that you used to know, or at least you thought you did.

You got closed to him and placed one last kiss on his cheek. One last time before you leave all of this lie behind.

“Chan... one day I loved you” you whispered, your lips vibrating against his.

Unfortunately I don’t do anymore.

Ripping out the bandaid you used to cover up the wounds.

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

agajsksns not gonna lie being 10 feet tall sounds awesome. i have no idea how tall that is because the only thing i know about feet (that sounds so wrong) is that google is telling me that i'm 5'6 (sorry to disappoint). which is. average height right? well it doesn't feel like it coz my best friends are giants. they're both 180+ cm tall and they constantly make fun of me for being short. but honestly i win because i can always make them reach things for me.

thank you! that's very sweet, i actually only saw your reply like 20 minutes before the new year so it was right on time! i loved writing to you and waiting to hear back as well, you're a really fun person to talk to!

i know you probably won't see this for a couple of weeks before going on holiday, but have fun!

i laughed really hard at the picture my brain conjured up when reading about you dropping the vampire act and starting to pretend to be a mouse, just straight up scurrying up to the houses on all fours in a bathrobe is hilarious. i'd pay to see that. and yeah! me either. the number of times i've gone outside at night is probably like 3. that's counting that time when i went for ice cream at 11pm to the store on the other side of the street in my pajamas and then had to turn back because it apparently closes at 10 pm. that was a pretty big disappointment

a halloween themed birthday party sounds awesome! it's sort of disappointing though that you can barely remember it. the only themed birthday party i had (or at least the only one that i remember) was princess themed because i was on my princess faze back then (i was 5 or 6 i think). i still remember the sheer joy i felt at being able to wear a long fancy dress. it was brilliant

oh yeah! i'm still slightly scared of blenders because of that time. now anytime i even put my fingers close to the blade i unplug it first. also i saw you got a blender? i think we have one that's similar to the one you described. so i have a couple of suggestions! i like to make banana "ice cream". you just cut up a banana into pieces and freeze it, (i have no idea how long it takes to freeze i just generally always have frozen bananas in my freezer) then you take them out, let them sit for 10 minutes (to not break the blender when you use it) and blend them. i sometimes add frozen berries or peanut butter too! depending on what i want that day. it's great, especially because i'm slightly lactose intolerant too and i absolutely love ice cream. you can also make smoothies as you said. i usually put in mine whatever fruit we have, generally apples, bananas and oranges or grapefruits. or if i'm making one for breakfast (which i know you can't, but this is just a generally more filling option i think?) i also add spinach. you can't really feel the taste but it's supposed to be good for you and it fills you up more (it does make the smoothie super green though!). but yeah i pretty much just mix and match anything i have! also: milkshakes. ice cream, berries (optional) and milk! super easy and my little cousins love it when they visit!

ohhh your grater also seems to be out to get you. i bet it's really painful if it actually falls on your feet, because like metal. on foot. ouch. especially if it hits you with a corner! and i would definitely also get surprised every time it happened no matter how many times it did! bifocal glasses do not sound fun either tho. i would constantly forget how to use them and probably would just get headache really fast too! i get a headache from my normal glasses when i wear them (i usually wear contacts) so bifocal ones would be even worse i bet.

exactly. i had no idea what "hot" means. i thought you were supposed to use it when you thought a person was aesthetically pleasing? or like you thought they look cute? i dunno. i used it a couple of times before i realised that was not what that meant and then i was just like uhhhh yeah i'm gonna delete that word from my vocab. yeah! i think that ace and probably aro too are pretty hard to figure out because it's the lack of something.

ahahsksns i can imagine tiny Lindsey waking up on Christmas morning and running to the window expecting snow in the middle of summer and it's so funny! i can't say anything though because we have this saying in lithuanian which is used essentially when someone does something unexpected and unusual for them so you say "it's gonna snow tomorrow". as in "wow, [name] did [something super unexpected from them], it must be snowing tomorrow" (because like those are equally unexpected things i guess? but it's said in winter too so it's just something you say whenever, i'm sorry it's hard to explain!) but yeah a figure of speech. and anytime i heard that, even in the middle of summer, the next morning i'd run to my window and look for snow and when there was none, i'd just stare accusatorily at my parents. like wow, i can't believe you lied/let someone lie to me

horse races sound fun, i've never been to one though! and a picnic luch sounds awesome! i love picnics but we have them very rarely, i definitely think we should have them more often

and yeah, i get that acid reflux more of an annoyance than a problem but still! i completely agree with you about peanut butter though. it's amazing, i could eat it everyday

I know exactly how tall 10 feet is purely because I’m 5 foot so two of me is 10 foot. I barely know feet but I got used to people being confused when I was like oh, I’m 155cm! so I learnt what my height was in feet but I can really only visualise heights when I put them into centimetres. Someone can be like I’m 6 foot! and that’s great but I don’t have the faintest idea how tall that actually is. 182cm on the other hand is easy. that’s just like one ruler above my height. I can picture that. 5 foot 6 is probably average but as a short person, I consider you tall. That really isn’t saying much at my height but still sdflshdfks. Biggest benefit of tall best friends is indeed making them reach high things though. 

And now we’re almost three weeks into the new year. Time seems to be flying this year. This is a very late reply indeed sdfjhskdfs. I did see this before I left but didn’t have time to reply, thank you though! I did have lots of fun. I had some birds try to invade the unit up in Orewa and I had a dotterel (I think) follow me along the beach at Ngarimu Bay playing some sort of red light green light game with me (it only moved closer and started following me again when I looked away) and I think a blackbird started some sort of mating performance at me which was flattering but uhhhh I’m a bit of a big bird mate. Maybe choose someone else. there was also beaches and gorgeous views etc etc but birds, y’know. birds.

i would 100% do that for money with no regrets. on one hand I could get a job and contribute to society. on the other hand I could do that as my main income. not a hard choice. hire me by the hour to freak your family and friends out. i have no respect for myself i’ll do it to anyone for the right price. damn. only closed one hour earlier. that’s a massive disappointment. i was out at night willingly for my high school prom and for a creative writing night at my uni and inside a car if that counts when I think my family was travelling back from the south island when I was younger. So three times that come to mind. Oh. And if stupid camp burma trails count then add a few times to that but those were not night outings I did willingly.

I can barely remember most of my life, I just assume it happened and I wasn’t just planted here at 12 years old as an alien spy. Anything’s possible though. I remember my birthday cakes more than my birthday parties to be honest with you. My mum always made the cake and when I was young she’d make fun designs. A bee, a bat, a swimming pool and a cat come to me off the top of my head. They were mostly just sponge cats but she cut them and iced them expertly. A princess-themed party seems like a very fun type of party for kids who like that. Kids always seem very happy to dress up in pretty dresses and cool outfits to attend those kinds of parties. I can imagine the joy. I know my little cousin looooves that sort of thing, and her brother isn’t willing to be left out either

thank god you unplug it first now sdfjhsdf that’s incredibly reassuring. Ooo thank you for those suggestions!!! this is great!! I was wanting to try something with bananas and that sounds easy enough. I had an apple and feijoa smoothie while I was away on holiday and all I want is another one of those. So I’m very very very interested in trying out fruit smoothies now because they seem like they can be very very tasty. Spinach seems like such an odd thing to add but I’ve heard that several times now so clearly it’s a thing. I don’t think I’ve ever even had spinach. I’ll keep it in mind though. I suppose if I just try whatever fruit we have on hand eventually I’ll get something that tastes good. I have dairy free ice cream and dairy free milk so it seems like this could work out for me in a way where I’m not regretting my entire life. Normally when I go near a milkshake I regret the day I was born.

It isn’t a super heavy grater but I have intense survival instincts every now and then so it hasn’t actually hit my foot yet. I go diving in the other direction. But I think if it did I’d probably curse a few times before moving on with my life. I don’t think it’d be THAT bad. But I live in fear regardless. oh no. do your normal glasses have a slightly wrong prescription or is this just a thing that happens when you normally wear contacts,,, I’ve never worn contacts because I fear touching my squishy eyeball and also I think my shitty eyesight is too awkward for contacts so I have no idea if that’s a thing.

oh yes haha hot has been solidly deleted from my vocab for many years except in terms of temperature. It has a word that has never naturally come to mind and I’m sure it never will. It just seems weird when I use it. 

I was a fool of a child and absolutely nothing has changed there! I mean I know how hemispheres work now but I’m still a dumbass at heart. Hahahahahaha oh nooooo. That’s incredible but oh noooo. I get what you mean by the saying though, that’d make a lot of sense here honestly since it never snows ever. Locally, at least. 

i think horse races are just a form of betting and losing money that is frowned upon less than actual buildings based on gambling and such. I mean I only ever attended those ones, idk if all horse races are like that, but I know there was buying tickets for whatever horse you thought would win, and if they did you got money, if they didn’t you lost money. I don’t think it was a whole lot of money ? just like a few bucks ? but maybe you could choose to bet more ? I really don’t remember how it worked, I just remember accidentally finding a ticket on the ground and handing it in only to receive some money because the horse won. I think it was like 5 or 10 bucks which seemed like a LOT to my kid self. picnic lunches are fun though. my family keeps a tartan blanket in the back of the car that we use whenever we have picnics and also whenever we get takeaways (we put it in the middle of the lounge floor as the rest of my family eats fish and chips and I eat sushi, normally). But we don’t have as many as we used to. They are fun though.

can confirm i do eat peanut butter everyday and it goes brilliantly.

[takadasaiko]

Truth in the Lies: Uncertainty

FFN II AO3

Summary: Tom is just trying to piece together how he should feel caught between Howard and Scottie when he finds a surprise visitor in his hotel room. Keen2

Uncertainty

Howard was off his meds and Tom was in too deep. That was the looped thought playing over and over in his head as he walked through the streets of New York. He didn't have the time to hop on a flight home before he had to be back in the office the next day, but he wasn't ready to go back to the empty hotel room either. That left him taking the long way back to the hotel, hands stuffed deeply in his jacket pockets, and his mind restless with everything that had happened in the last handful of days. The further he walked the more hurried they became, trying to piece things together and come up with some semblance of an idea who to trust.

Tom loosed a long breath that showed in the cold night air as he looked up to find himself outside of his hotel without really meaning to. He still didn't have an answer, but walking around in freezing temperatures wouldn't help him find them. He needed to pop one of the pills that Nez had recommended and try to get some sleep.

He made his way up to the room in a little bit of a daze, the time zone hopping he had been doing in the last week finally catching up with him. He just hoped that the drugs they had been given in the water wouldn't disrupt his sleep patterns too badly.

The door gave a soft click as the key card unlocked it and he pushed it open, blinking in surprise at the light he hadn't left on. His sleep deprived brain took a beat longer than it should have to register that there was also someone sleeping in the bed. She stirred and Tom felt himself relax as Liz’s blue eyes blinked sleepily open. “Hey babe,” he greeted softly, setting his go bag down. “What are you doing here?”

She yawned, stretching a little. “I was going to surprise you. I knew you were getting in and I was in New York to testify in a trial this afternoon and tomorrow morning. I thought you'd be in earlier.”

“I would have if I knew you were going to be here,” he murmured as he crossed the space, reaching out for her when he got close enough. “Was Carly able to watch Agnes tonight?”

“Yeah. I think we owe her.” Liz gave him a smile and pulled him down to the bed with her rather than standing. “So much for surprises I guess.”

He hummed a soft agreement and leaned in, focusing on her and the peace that came with having her close to him. “I've missed you so much.”

“Yeah? How much?” his wife teased suggestively.

Tom caught the hint and grinned, leaning in and she met him halfway. It didn't take long for Liz to shift, never breaking the kiss, but she moved so that she was facing him, her fingers already working to get his jacket off his shoulders. He shrugged out of it, toeing his boots off, and a muffled laugh escaped him as they toppled back into the bed, Liz half on top of him.

She stopped, though, her gaze studying him. “You okay?”

Dark blue eyes blinked up at her before Tom sighed. Apparently he wasn't hiding the stress as well as he thought. “It's been a long week and I…” His eyes slipped closed again as Liz moved so that she was stretched out next to him, her hand resting on his arm. Tom smiled and turned towards her. “You're here. Let's focus on that.”

The woman he loved offered him a smile and another - much quicker - kiss. “Babe, you're bottling it. Talk to me. Did you find out more about your mom? Meet again with your dad?”

Well, she wasn't going to let it go now. While on one hand he knew that was good - she always did help him sort through his emotions better than he ever could on his own - he just wanted to enjoy time with his wife that he hadn't seen in over a week now.

She wrapped an arm around his middle, drawing his attention. “Tom?”

He groaned and squeezed his eyes shut. “It can never be simple,” he grumbled, pulling a small laugh from her. “I don't know if Howard is certifiable or if Scottie’s just really good or if it's somewhere in the middle. She has the resources to go after him, but… I'm pretty good at reading people. She seems genuinely….” He stopped and rolled to his side to face her. “Part of me wonders if I'm losing my edge.”

“You're always been better when you can detach yourself from it,” she murmured thoughtfully. “Kind of hard to do in this situation.”

“I just spent the last week back and forth from Russia and in the middle of a fake American town full of Russian spies being trained to replace Americans. They lived in this compound that looked like some sort of idealised American town. Twenty-four-seven surveillance. Plastic surgery to look like the people they were replacing....”

Liz blinked hard. “And I thought I'd heard everything. Do I need to-”

“No. No, the military knows. They're the ones who brought us in on this. We don't need the FBI in the middle. You can't… this needs to stay between us.”

She nodded.

“Anyway, it's gone. The Russians blew the town off the map once they realised it was burned. Howard thinks…. he thinks Scottie isn't Scottie. Sounds crazier for me to say it than even him,” Tom chuckled mirthlessly.

Blue eyes watched him carefully. “is it… even possible?”

“I don't know. I mean, taking on a persona to fool acquaintances is one thing, but people you're close to? Family and friends? That's a stretch.” He pulled in a deep breath. “I overheard Scottie saying he'd gone off his meds and I can believe it.”

Liz tightened her grip on him, inching closer. “I really wish one of us could have some normal family, you know?”

“It'd be nice,” he murmured. “Liz, what the hell have I gotten into?”

“Insanity?” she tried for a tease, but even her voice was strained. “Tom… do you need to come home?”

He sighed, refusing to answer immediately. He would run if he gave himself half a chance. Run home to the people who loved him and the security they had found together. But that would leave his family open and exposed. There were so many questions. So many potential threats looming now that he'd jumped in. If Howard was even partially right, if Scottie was half as dangerous as he thought she was, she could find out who Tom was and come after his family. He didn't want to believe that, but it would be reckless to ignore the possibility. “No,” he breathed after a long moment, “I need to see this through.” He caught her gaze. “No matter how much I miss you and Agnes.”

“Mm,” she acknowledged softly and propped herself up on her arms. “I told you before and it still stands: I'm going to support what you decide on this.”

“You think I should keep digging though?”

“I didn't say that.” He shot her a knowing look and she grinned, leaning down to kiss him. “See?” she murmured softly, barely breaking away to speak. “You're still good at reading people. You'll figure Scottie and Howard out.”

“How early do you have to be at the courthouse in the morning?”

“Nine.”

“So you don't have to be up at the break of dawn?”

His wife smirked a little. “Nope.”

Tom grinned and pulled her closer, Liz meeting him willingly there. He'd missed her. He'd missed the steadiness he felt with her. The certainty. He always knew there was at least one person he could trust, unlike in the middle of the chaos between two parents he didn't even know. Moments like these, though - the ones where they could curl up together and wake up with each other the next morning - helped steady him and give him perspective. He needed answers, not just for himself, but for his family too.

Amongst all the uncertainty, he could depend on the woman he loved to help keep him afloat.

Notes: This was 99% finished on Friday, but it's taken me until Monday evening to find time to post it. Sorry guys! I've been gif-making like crazy :P