#here it is. the most frustrating character design challenge i have ever done

[ketelarts]

Ignam post-mortem.

Ignam is my friend's fire genasi artificer. He died mid campaign and his soul possessed a suit of armor.

[honestlyvan]

Babe, I'm so intrigued by the Crime Slime who would die before breaking character and the Furry Genius who is good at everything he does, tell me more about them

They make me SO UNWELL, BARBIE.

I'll try avoid turning this into an essay on both of them separately (I've done my due diligence introducing both of them over here), but I do need to discuss character and role a little bit, because the way Dendro is explicitly a roleplaying game contributes a lot to the relationship between Shu and Sechs.

Or, well, Dendro can be played as just an action dungeon crawler action game, and there are quite a few key cast members who are "ludo", but because of the intense fidelity of the world of Dendro, most people end up at least somewhat engaged with "the plot" ie. the politics of the world, even as just the backdrop for the game. Neither Shu nor Sechs are that hardcore, but both of their actions make more sense "in-character" than they do out of it. Shu Starling (as compared to Shuichi Mukudori) and Sechs Würfel (as compared to his unnamed player) are in conflict because of the context of the world surrounding them, and their roles in the story.

So, what are those roles? Shu, obviously, is one of the Big Three of Altar, one of their most powerful and decorated. All told, he seems like a bit of a wild card, genuinely just playing Dendro for fun, and emphasises the for-fun nature of his playing when discussing the game with other Masters. Altogether, Shu really seems to be playing Dendro as a form of light escapism, another go at a "normal" life -- he jokes about being shy, and before the beginning of the story, had in fact been extremely well hiding the identity of King of Destruction from the broader playerbase, not wanting to deal with the hassle of being chased around by challengers.

He's "a hero", yes, technically, but honestly it very much seems like Shu himself doesn't seem to really care for that designation, and is consistent about how he only really does things he wants to, and is largely unconcerned about what his reputation is like. And despite that, he's ended up involved in damn near every big incident in the kingdom since he began playing, being ultimately the kind of good-natured and kind person who doesn't like leaving people in a lurch if he can do something to help them.

Because despite being fate's favourite middle child, Shuichi Mukudori is... kind of just a dude? Like, he's a rich NEET who pretty much just exercises and plays video games and doesn't seem to have any greater aspirations than to have a good time -- frustrating his parents, sure, but not really causing trouble for anyone. At worst, Shu is a bit of a sneaky shithead, and seems to have some resistance towards being relied on by other people, but it never rises to the level of refusing to help out of spite, and his strong sense of ethics and general kindness are clearly very typical for him, as we see his little brother Reiji being largely unfazed by Shu's big-dealness, sort of shrugging and going "yeah, what I expected from you, bro"

In fact, I feel like Ray's generally high self-esteem further speaks well of Shu. He's attentive without ever being overprotective, and their shared disposition towards never allowing their doubts to stop them from trying being something Ray explicitly learned from Shu. Shu portrays himself as more avoidant and passive than he actually is, even his discomfort with people explicitly relying on him, to me, reads more as trying to avoid having a cooling effect on other people's efforts. He doesn't like complacency, in himself or in other people, and in general tends towards cultivating strong, positive relationships with everyone he interacts with. He is, for all he can be a bit opaque, generally in a good place in his life.

Sechs, in contrast, uh. Very much isn't. He is essentially a hostage of his own family -- adopted in to literally replace and take on the identity of their dead eldest son, and isolated from the outside world until he manages to either convincingly pass as that son, or maybe just until the family finds a wife for him to have an heir with. Even before going through a stranger literally dying to give him the life he's currently living, he didn't have many prospects, and as a result doesn't feel any greater attachment to his previous or his current identity, pretty much just seeing himself as a piece of meat for other people to use for their aspirations. It's very bleak, and it has understandably had a crushing effect on his sense of self-worth.

And while Sechs didn't really have a solid reason to roll a villain character, basically deciding on a whim to play one, his ability to choose and to pursue actions congruent with that choice is some of the only freedom he has had in his life. "Sechs Würfel" is the only identity he's ever had that is self-authored, the only thing he truly believes belongs to him. Problem is, he's so bad at figuring out what to actually do with the agency and freedom this new identity grants him that he hard-commits into the mechanical validation the game system gives him, so pretty much the only things that matter for Sechs are the "sins" he commits -- everything else, everything that demonstrates that he is, honestly, a bit sideways but ultimately good-natured, is relegated to non-actions that bear no relation to his "self".

Let me reiterate for clarity -- Sechs is neither a sadist nor a sociopath. My distinct impression is that just like Shu, he has a very strong innate sense of right and wrong, but any ability for him to express or act on that sense of right and wrong has been systematically abused out of him. In fact, it's a little unlucky how well "villainy" works out for Sechs -- he can make his decisions based, essentially, on inverse utilitarianism, looking to cause the maximum amount of harm to the maximum amount of people, and thus avoiding any cognitive dissonance between his moral intuition and his professed reasoning, letting him suspend the need to self-examine about why he's doing anything indefinitely.

Sechs even argues that being a villain makes it easier for him to be friends with "someone like" Shu, because it allows him to essentially reconfigure his morality on the fly to rules-lawyer opportunities for him to work with Shu towards a common goal. But deciding to live a life in Dendro where everything he does either takes things by force or cheat others out of them doesn't leave any space for him to just... have relationships, to be non-transactional or to show kindness back when its shown to him, without "breaking character", without wasting his opportunity for self-expression. It's the only language he speaks, so to speak.

(And incredibly luckily for Sechs, as far as the game is concerned, the only people he can "sin" against in a mechanically demonstrable way are tians -- because crimes against Masters don't count, he never has incentives to hurt any real people. After all, as far as anyone knows the tians are just extremely advanced AI NPCs... right? )

So, we have Shu who is characterised by his refusal to limit himself, using his personal freedom strictly within the limits of his own ethics, and we have Sechs who is almost entirely defined by his limitations, using other people's ethics as scaffolding to explore his personal freedom. It makes perfect sense for Sechs to literally never shut up about Shu, to be absolutely obsessed with a kind of wholeness of identity Sechs desperately desires for himself, too, to admire him and to feel envious and to be literally attracted to him like a wilting flower turning to the sun. Shu is the strongest possible scaffold for Sechs to measure his own actions against.

They really are well-matched... and they are diametrically opposed within the diegesis of the game world because of the roles their behaviour has created for them within the narrative of Dendro. Which, y'know, works great for Sechs who honestly probably needs to adhere to his prescribed identity, who is still just learning what to do with all of the freedom he's been denied all his life, and sucks for Shu, who really did not sign up to have a damn archenemy and really, truly, just wants to have fun.

And the situation is not helped by the fact that Sechs high-key doesn't know what the fuck he's feeling about Shu, either. The vibe is very "I don't know how to flirt with him, so he has to die". Sechs' concept of Shu as a person is an extension of the narrative role he has within their interactions with each other, as a challenge to be overcome, as the hero to strike down. And in the process, Sechs either loses sight or never realises in the first place that Shu just.... isn't playing a character and just is like that because he is like that.

Except... Shu is playing a character. Shu Starling is literally a character played by Shuichi Mukudori.

So, like. Shu clearly gets it, but he's not happy about it. I am extremely emotionally compromised about the circumstances around their duel in general, but one of the most striking things about it is how hurt Shu seems over the whole thing. Like, he's holding both of those feelings in his head at once, both embracing Sechs' telling of the story and his place in it (he literally calls the letter of challenge a "love letter") and also being frustrated because he thought he'd made it clear that whatever it is that is between them was something different.

Because the character he is playing, the level he is meeting Sechs at isn't Shu Starling, King of Destruction. It's also Shu Starling, ascended joke character, Shu Starling, excellent cook, Shu Starling, professional slacker. He's in a similar position as Sechs, he's performing an identity that he is not able to embody in real life where he's marked by his fame and talent. And at the time of their duel, Sechs clearly wasn't able to meet him on that level, as two people playing a game together, within a shared narrative, and Shu gets that and he's so annoyed by it, because he wants them to be friends.

Unlike Sechs, whose isolation is clear and unambigous in the text, Shu's isolation from having a normal life is more in the subtext. And unlike Sechs, who has to deal with his mental dissonance and whose struggle to live as a whole entire person within his assumed identity is front and center, Shu's needs are backgrounded, and he's not telling on himself.

It's so easy to read almost a tone of betrayal to the way their duel in volume 18 plays out, except Shu is explicit about the fact that he likes Sechs. You can practically feel the fond aggravation of Shu going "I'm right here, dummy, you can just ask" when Sechs is talking about struggling to understand him. Shu, truly, wants to see him again, and wants him to... get better. Become happier. Find himself, so he can actually meet Shu where he's at.

The chemistry these two have is frankly incredible. Sechs, already, is set up for an incredibly compelling journey of self-discovery through the power of having friends for once in his life, but I was a fan of Shu first, and thus I am completely weak in the face of someone seeing right through him, not understanding what they see, and Shu liking them enough to actually bother explaining himself.

I love a villain who is obsessed with their own villainy in contrast with the hero, I was pretty much always gonna be extremely unhinged about Sechs' very blatant crush on Shu, but the flavour is really contained in how flatly unintimidated by Sechs' obsession Shu is, how much he likes him despite that and even, maybe, because deep down Shu also just wants to be known and seen. Sometimes the stranger who only knows us through our roles knows us better than anyone else.

[mahou-furbies]

It is time for

This year the event will be hosted by Snow Miku! Not exactly magical girls but close enough design wise.

Here is the magical girl media consumed on this blog this year:

(Delicious Party Precure, Futari wa Precure Max Heart, Magia Record s3, Machikado Mazoku s2, Tokyo Mew Mew New, Magic Users' Club! (OVA), Magic User's Club! (Tv), Tropical Rouge! Precure season movie, Futari wa Precure Max Heart season movies 1 & 2)

At first it looked like I barely read any magical girl manga this year, but then ended up reading a couple in the final few weeks of the year:

(Magilumiere co ltd, Time Stranger Kyoko (reread), The Life After Retirement of Magical Girls, No Match for Aoi-kun, Magical Lollipop)

Also I read a lot of magical girl webcomics!

(Magical Mom, Sleepless Domain, Cloudy Wondrous, Apricot Cookie(s)!, Miss Guillotine, Strawberry Seafoam)

Then let's go through the events that happened this year. We had a tournament for the favourite Precure, and Cure Milky was the winner! This time it has taken even longer to draw the celebratory art for the winners than last year and I'm still not done, but I guess nobody but me really cares about that so all is well.

We also had a poll for most/least favourite magical girl elements, which I used to compile the most liked and least liked magical girls (though I think the least liked one turned out to be more popular). I really liked this idea and would like to do something more with it one day, or at least just get statistics on people's opinions on different magical girl tropes for fun.

I also did both Mermay and Witchtober this year (and Adorkastock Draw Everything June which I've done every year since its inception), which included a lot of magical girl content. I like these monthly drawing challenges since I enjoy drawing a set of themed characters, and usually the results are a lot more varied than the stuff I usually draw. So next year I'd like to do some more, but I'll have to find different challenges so it won't get repetitive, this was the second Mermay I did and while it mostly involved characters I never draw otherwise, I'd still like to give that spot to something else next time.

Saban Moon was unleashed to the public this year, which did not affect me that much since I have very little relationship with Sailor Moon, but I can still appreciate unearthing a secret alternative version of a well known character (also it was my most popular drawing this year)

This year I started and exercise project by trying to motivate myself with the reward of buying a Miku Nendoroid each time I exercise a certain amount of times. It has been mostly successful, or there are breaks but they are a lot shorter than they would ever be without a prize looming in the future. Much recommended!

Finally one thing that's different from last year that I didn't draw a lot of characters for my magical girl chibi series, because I was busy drawing a different kind of chibi series (hundreds of Pokemon chibis on my other blog). And this chibi style spread to several of my other fandoms too, I used it on the Witchtober, and I've done four (I think) sets of requests in it.

Finally a mention to my frustration on the lack of green Precures culminating in a series of green Precure OCs. 

Then onto the awards!

Best Henshin Design goes to Cloudy Wondrous! A solid design where everything works together (I’m especially a fan of the cloud motif used in different places), and the unique details (crown, wing eyepatch thing) make it more memorable.

Best Team Design goes to Tokyo Mew Mew New! Granted I think I like the original designs more, but TMM team design is still strong here as well, it's recognisable as TMM but highly customisable for OCs.

Best Powerup Design goes to Strawberry Seafoam! Or they should probably rather be called separate forms on the same level with different purposes rather than increasing in power, but who's counting. They are all pretty (as are the other mermaids' transformations) but let's say the jellyfish one is my favourite, it has such warm glowing palette (but also an illuminated dark mode!) and it creates a unique silhouette.

Also a shoutout to Cure Spicy's Party Up Style "hat".

Best Civilian Design goes to Amane's winter look from Delicious Party Precure! It just looks so comfy...

Best Hair goes to Sae from Magic User's Club! It's pretty simple compared to the usual absurd magical girl hairstyles, but I like how the angular shapes make it memorable.

Best Magical Item goes to Bijou's pen from Strawberry Seafoam! It looks pretty, and I like magic where you actually draw your spells. And it's fun to see her style evolve!

Best Henshin Scene goes to the dresser henshin in Magilumiere! Overall it has a lot of creative henshin and I really hope it gets animated some day!

Best Fan Creation is the catch-all award for everything that's not from, like, a big corporation, and this year the competition is really tough with all these highly polished webcomics, on a normal year any one of them would have been the winner but now I have to pick one. And it is also this year's Best Work, so more on that later! 

Best Relationship goes to the group in Magic Users' Club! Their relationships feel very natural, and everyone has something different going on with the other characters. And while there is a little drama, the overall vibe is delightfully positive.

Best Mascot goes to Kome-Kome from Delicious Party Precure! Personality or plot-wise there's nothing that interests me about her, but it must be said that I'm a sucker for progressively aging designs and she's also stupidly cute.

Best Supporting Character goes to the 4th wall breaking Director of Darkness, from Apricot Cookie(s)! He just cracks me up every time he is on panel with his friendly and welcoming attitude. 

Honourable mention to Mari-chan from Precure who is the best character in the season but who unfortunately doesn’t get to do much.

Best Visual goes to the art style of Strawberry Seafoam! Bold and unique glowing saturated colours that somehow feel nostalgic. Special mention to all the swirly magic.

Honourable mention to the art style shifts Apricot Cookie(s)!, sometimes the art goes to retro manga or anime or 3d idol dance models for fun. And another honourable mention to the visual presentation of the Apricot Cookies website.

Best Audio goes to the Shiny Luminous / Queen theme in Futari wa Precure Splash Star (not the henshin one but the one when she’s doing something epic). Feels very majestic.  

For the Best Scene I don’t have anything specific that comes to mind over everything else this year, so let’s say Kuroe’s fate in MagiReco, Shiny Luminous in the Max Heart finale and Grandma’s fate in Apricot Cookie(s)! can share it.

Innovation Award is for honouring a work doing something new and refreshing for the magical girl genre. This year I read several webcomics (that generally get to be more innovative than commercial anime) and even one actual manga that focused on "magical girls as a job", but each with a little different angle. So a shoutout to Magilumiere Co ltd, Sleepless Domain, Cloudy Wondrous, Apricot Cookie(s)!, Miss Guillotine and Magical Mom! With this many of them it'd feel a little weird to pick any for the "innovation award" over the same topic, so let's reward Magical Mom, for having, well, the magical mom! Magical girls whose mother is also a magical girl are of course a thing, but this time the child is a boy, and the mother also is an active and prominent character (and not just a background mentor), so that is new to me.

Then the Golden Mana Award, that is the dishonourable mention awarded to one thing I didn't like this year! 

This year it goes to Porun from Futari wa Precure Max Heart. Frankly he was probably more annoying in the original Futari wa but I had something else to complain about that year so now it's his turn. For the life of me I can't understand how this would be an appealing character concept even for children, like don't even 5-year-olds get annoyed at a toddler sibling's tantrums interrupting their big kid play? Even his less overtly irritating scenes don't do much for me, since they rely on "aww isn't it cute how the baby wants to be with you" mushiness.

Also another dishonourable mention to downgrading Pudding’s jumpsuit into a dress.

Best Character goes to Kuroe! (from MagiReco) I really like her design (especially how it mirrors Iroha’s), her quiet and hesitant personality and her melancholic story that felt fresh among all the magical girls who excitedly jump into saving every passerby. Or I don’t really like how she fit in the larger narrative, but in isolation I think her story was interesting.

Best Work goes to Apricot Cookie(s)! It's really funny and the art is great, and the character designs are memorable. The heroine is charmingly dumb and everyone in her family is great. And it took a while to grow on me, but in the end the weeb references make me feel at home.

Plans for 2023

I didn't manage to get any of the shorter mg shows from last year's list (though I did watch Magic User’s Club which wasn’t on the list) so those are still there. I'd also like to watch two series from the Precure backlog, this year I only managed one.

Art-wise I plan to do more for the chibi series, and do another "x colour Precure oc" series. And I'd really like to draw more art that has, like, a background or a mood or a composition, but let's see if that goes anywhere.

(also hopefully more Miku Nendoroids)

[transmortaltv]

1. I tend to lean more digital...but I'm not sure that I prefer one over the other.

2. I have been drawing since before my earliest memory, so maybe 26ish yrs? Being creative is something I feel is an inherent part of me.

3. I took basic drawing, painting, and digital art in highschool...then pursued a bachelor's in graphic design in college...so I've taken more classes than I can count off the top of my head.

4. I mostly just post here and Instagram when it comes to art (I'm on Twitch/Youtube/Twitter for gaming content)...I'm bad very bad at social media.

5. My favorite things to draw are characters...usually with hoods and masks. I have always loved drawing Kirby characters... they bring a sort of comfort to me and robots are also pretty high up there in the list...

6. My least favorite thing to draw are hands and backgrounds because I am most unfamiliar with them and they stress me out.

7. I use references a lot...I learned in school that drawing from real life references allows you to truly visualize something in 3d space and it helps a good bit.

8. I have done quite a few commissions and work semi-frequently with Empire Comic Con in Savannah Ga to provide them with fun visual material for their events...but I mostly develop my own characters to be used in future projects 👀

9. On a daily basis overall I do not draw a lot...I personally am recovering from a very toxic mindset surrounding my art and been in a bit of a burnout/block for a while. I'm working to get back to the core of what makes creativity sincere and fun!

10. I'm fairly confident in my art looking back at it after the fact, specifically whenever a piece is done. Somehow they ALWAYS seem to finally come together at the end.

11. I follow very few artist blogs...I follow many artists on Instagram...but I think no more than 5 blogs (I'm new here)

12. I welcome any questions about my creative process or art advice...if you have any questions about art ever and think I could help I'm more than willing to try!

13. I always prefer to share the art I'm most proud of, whether it was personal or not...I think connecting and sharing it is what it's all about.

14. I don't collab usually...I'm very much a "too many cooks in the kitchen" kinda guy...

15. My works depending on the level of detail range anywhere from 2-10 hrs total maybe?

16. I draw less than I have in the past...I used to draw every day for fun, but as I get older I have to deal with the struggle of the weight of perfectionism and "it needing to be about something"

17. I think everyone is justified in some context to give art advice when asked...we all learn at different rates and everyone has something valuable to share.

18. Right now I'm just trying to improve my motivation to just create freely!

19. The most difficult thing for me to draw is probably feminine faces...It's very frustrating to me that this is a struggle.

20. I feel most comfortable drawing Kirby Characters...I doodled them constantly as a kid growing up and they just feel like home to me.

21. I feel like saying I LOVE to be challenged is disingenuous...initially I hate the overwhelming feeling, It's always stressful and almost makes me feel sick...but when I power through I love the end results and am happy I went through it after the fact. I feel every new piece I do challenges me to learn something new.

22. I try not to be over-confident about much...but looking at newer art of mine compared to my older stuff...I think I can safely say that I am improving...even if very slowly.

23. I feel like I draw more fanart than I used to just by the nature of me drawing for social media...I do a lot of speed drawing on Twitch...but traditionally overall I think I draw more original characters.

24. I don't think I ever feel jealous about someone elses art. I feel like that implies a certain level of resentment toward their work which I don't feel. I'm not a very competitive person when it comes to creativity and I don't feel like someone being good means you can't ALSO be good; therefore, there's never a reason to angrily covet someone elses capabilities. Sometimes I do struggle with feeling much less desirable/adequate as an artist than them or at a disadvantage...but I dont see how that's thwir fault...I believe one should channel that INTO inspiration to try to improve.

25. When I draw I like to put on music or a show that connects me to what I'm drawing. Maybe it's music that I feel like the character would like, or maybe a show that inspires me to create this world in the first place...the more it puts me in the world I'm drawing the better.

26. I mostly use Procreate with the Apple Pencil because I'm working to cut Adobe out of my life...but I also am well versed in Clip Studio and Photoshop.

27. For my more cartoonish style stuff...it's usually only about 5 layers in the end...but that requires a lot of creating new layers and merging throughout the process as well.

28. Oddly enough...when I draw traditionally I prefer a mechanical pencil for sketching followed up by inking with Prismacolor pens/Markers...or scanning in the pen illustration and coloring digitallyl

29. To start a drawing I like to get the line of action and rough layout of characters down then build off of that. It helps with proportions and anatomy which is not usually my strong suit.

30. What inspires me most is the stories that make an impact on me as a person. Movies, Games, Books, Shows, Comics...they have the ability to teach us in almost a parable fashion. There is usually a lesson we can learn from them...I want to do that too...I want to create and inspire. People say art is what we learn from the most left behind by past civilizations...Your creativity pushes others in ways you might not understand now.

Artist Asks!

Do you prefer traditional drawing, or digital?

How long have you been drawing?

How many classes have you taken?

Do you have a DeviantArt, personal website, or art blog?

What’s your favorite thing to draw?

What’s your least favorite thing to draw?

How often do you use references?

Do you draw professionally, or just for fun?

How much time do you spend drawing on an average day?

Are you confident about your art?

How many art-related blogs do you follow?

Is it okay for people to ask you about your process?

Do you prefer to keep your art personal, or do you like drawing things for other people?

Do you ever collaborate with others?

How long does an average piece take you to complete?

Do you draw more today than you did in the past, or do you draw less?

Do you think you’re justified in giving other people art advice?

What are you currently trying to improve on?

What is the most difficult thing for you to draw?

What is the easiest thing for you to draw?

Do you like to challenge yourself?

Are you confident that you’re improving steadily?

Do you draw more fanart, or more original art?

Do you feel jealous when you see other people’s art, or inspired? (Be honest!)

Do you like to draw in silence, or with music?

For digital artists: what program(s) do you use?

For digital artists: how many layers does a typical piece require?

For traditional artists: what medium do you like most? (Pencil, charcoals, etc)

For traditional artists: How do you usually start on a big piece? (Light sketch, colored lead, sketchpaper, etc)

What inspires you to not just make art, but to be a better artist?

[middleearthpixie]

After the Fire ~ Chapter Ten

Title: After the Fire - 

Fandom: The Hobbit - Post BOTFA AU Where Everybody Lives

Summary: Following the Battle of the Five Armies, a grievously wounded Thorin is brought back to the kingdom of Erebor, which is still mostly in ruins. Although he’s survived the wounds he received at the end of Azog’s blade, his recovery is far from complete. Grief, regret, anger, all are making his journey that much more difficult and the physical recovery isn’t quite the most difficult challenge he faces.

Jasna Stoneham is no stranger to loss, as she is a survivor of Smaug’s wrath upon Esgaroth. When she is asked to help the dwarves healers of Erebor, her instinct is to say no, but she needs the job, and so agrees to it. However, no one told her that of all the patients, she would be responsible for the king himself, Thorin Oakenshield. 

Unfortunately, the road to recovery isn’t necessary a smooth one, but if there’s one thing Thorin will learn, it’s that Jasna is just as stubborn as he is and for every step back he takes, she is there to push him three steps forward. And Jasna will soon find out that there is a gentle, softer side to the dwarf king, one that very few people have ever seen and one he fights to keep hidden from her as well. But like his recovery, that is also easier said than done. 

 Thorin is up and about once more, with a little help from Jasna, and they grow a little closer still…

Pairing: Thorin Oakenshield x ofc Jasna Stoneham

Characters: Jasna, Thorin, Dís 

Warnings: None

Rating: T

Word Count: 6,457

Tag List: @tschrist1 @i-did-not-mean-to @lathalea @linasofia @fizzyxcustard @legolasbadass @kibleedibleedoo @xxbyimm @arrthurpendragon @exhausted-humxn-being @rachel1959 @laurfilijames @sketch-and-write-lover @sherala007 @enchantzz @knitastically @notlostgnome @myselfandfantasy @medusas-hairband @guardianofrivendell @jotink78 @sorisooyaa @ruthoakenshield @quiall321 

If you’d like to be added (or removed) to the tag list, please just let me know!

Previous chapters can be found here. 

In the coming days, Thorin silently cursed Óin to no end. The healer agreed to Jasna’s walking him about, flatly refused to entertain the notion for either Kíli or Fíli, and stipulated that they were not to go beyond the Great Hall, that he shouldn’t even think about attempting stairs again, and outdoors was out of the question.

And since Jasna was not about to risk Óin’s ire, she tried Thorin’s patience instead. But to be fair, he tried not to take it out on her. After all, she was in a no-win situation entirely. 

To make matters worse, now that some of the less seriously wounded had been moved from the infirmary to their own quarters, or sent home entirely, Narnerra had cleared a bit of the front far corner to set up a therapy area for Thorin to continue get acclimated to being on his feet again. He walked—with the aid of the cane only—he did odd stretching exercises that seemed designed only to make his gut burn and his knees threaten to go to jelly, and not much else.

Most days, however, he worked with Jasna and he preferred her over Óin or Narnerra. Óin barked orders at him and Narnerra was only slightly better. Neither one would budge from the regimen they wrote out for him. He would be allowed no extra steps,  no fewer steps no increased weight, no decreased weights. Nothing that would deviate from the plan.

Frustrating, to say the least, for some days, he felt wonderful and on others? He wished he had the strength to throw Óin somewhere. 

Today was one of those days, although Óin was nowhere near him. Jasna instead held out a ball weighted with sand and said, “Catch.”

He caught it, stepping back with a groan as the movement sent the now-all-too-familiar burn through his lower body. “I thought Óin said we were to remain where we were.”

She shook her head. “No. H-h-he and I di-di-di-di—”

“Discussed?” he suppled softly.

She nodded. “Last evening. I t-t-t-told him I thought you were re-re-ready to go heavier.”

“I thought you were on my side?”

“I am. Th-th-that’s why I t-t-t-told him that.” She held out her hands. “Now, t-t-toss it back.”

He did, grimacing as his stomach muscles tightened. It didn’t hurt quite as much as it had been, but sweat still prickled along his back and his chest, and every now and again, black dots would dance before his eyes.

“You’re m-m-m-moving b-b-better.” She offered up a smile and held out the ball. “C-c-c-come t-take it from me.”

He went to grab the cane when she shook her head. “No. W-w-without it.”

“But Óin said—”

“I know. I want to s-s-s-see if you can d-d-d—”

“Drop like a stone?”

“Do it.”

He just stared at her. Standing in one place was simple enough now, but each time he moved one leg or the other to plant it and toss the ball, it stung. She was easily six strides from him. What if his knees went to jelly and he fell on his face before her? He couldn’t show any weakness, and if a woman had to help him from the floor? If anyone should see it…

He’d never hear the end of it.

“Your M-m-m-majesty?”

“I’d rather stick to Óin’s plan.”

“Try it. Y-y-y-you might sur-sur-sur-sur—”

“Survive hitting the floor?”

She scowled at him, blurting, “Surprise yourself.”

“Are you certain that’s wise?”

She shook her head and to his shock, smiled. “Not at all, no. B-b-b-but, you have to try s-s-sometime. How else will you know if you’re ready to move ahead or n-n-not?”

“And if Óin sees me?”

“He will sc-scold me, n-n-not you.”

“Ah, but I would feel terrible, should you get into trouble.”

She held his gaze, one fist resting on her hip, with the ball tucked into her free arm. “Are you st-st-stalling, Your Majesty?”

“Me?” He shook his head. “No.”

“I think you are. Now, take a step. J-just one.”

He stood stock-still and just stared at her. The idea of taking that step, without any assistance, thrilled him as much as it terrified him. More than anything, he wanted to be as he once was, wanted to regain all of the abilities he’d once taken for granted. Once he could do them, he vowed he’d never again make that mistake.

But at the same time, a fall could undo all of the progress he’d made, and the thought of going backward, of ending up flat on his back, in agonizing pain, with fresh stitches to sew up scars he split open…  Mahal, he’d rather die then endure that again. 

“You can do this.”

Her voice rolled toward him, low and steady and reassuring. There was no hint of uncertainty in her eyes, not a whisper of doubt in her voice. She thought he could do it. She believed in him.

So why didn't he believe in himself?

“Miss Stoneham, I—”

“Offer me n-no excuses. Tr-tr-try. The worst that can h-h-h-happen is I have to ca-ca-catch you. And I pr-promise you, I will c-c-catch you, if it comes to that.”

He looked around. Of those who remained in the infirmary, it didn't seem any of them watched. She cleared her throat and shook her head. “They’re not looking and I will not br-br-breathe a word.”

“Miss Stoneham, I really—” 

“One step. Please?”

As she said it, she forced such pleading into her eyes, into her expression, it was all he could do to not laugh. But, he did crack and smiled as he said, “Very well. Be ready to catch me.”

“I am.”

He lifted his left foot, grimacing at the soft sting, which grew stronger as he moved that foot forward. The sting worsened when he planted his foot and the vibration rippled through him. Still, he gritted his teeth and tried with the other foot. 

Fresh sweat beaded his forehead, prickled along his back, his chest, his groin. The pain worsened as he tried the third step and to his horror, his stomach revolted. A sour taste flooded his mouth. Jasna swam before him.

His knees went to sponge.

The room tilted. Knocked him askew. He braced for the fire that would tear through him when he hit the floor.

Only it never came. As his knees buckled, Jasna dropped the ball and caught him easily, an arm about his waist, a soft, “Ooof!” leaking through her teeth as he came down heavily against her shoulder. 

“Kakhf,” he growled as he swayed against her, waiting for her to drop him.

“I’ve got you,” she assured him, holding him up even as the hot sweat went icy cold and the black dots blotted out almost the entire infirmary. “Deep breaths, Thorin,” she whispered. “In… out… in… out…”

Bells clanged inside his skull, louder with each second, but as she continued to murmur, “In… out…” they slowly faded. The dots shrank until they vanished. His stomach calmed.

Thank Mahal.

She stretched to snag the cane and pressed it into his hand. “I think you should rest a few minutes,” she told him, looking up at him. “You did gr-great.”

“I almost landed on my face,” he managed to grit, leaning more on the cane now. 

“But you proved you can do it.” She patted his back gently. “And tomorrow, we will try again.”

“No.” He shook his head. “I am not ready.”

“You are. And you will.” She stepped away from him to retrieve the ball and stowed it on its shelf. “You will take two more steps each day until you’re w-w-walking across the fl-fl-floor on your own.”

He limped over to the chair against the wall and sank into it. “I might as well accept this,” he held up the cane, “as my new lot in life.”

“No.” She came over to him, crouching before him, her hand coming to rest on his left knee. “The time will c-c-c-come when you will no l-l-l-longer n-n-need that. I promise you, it will.”

“You are new at this. You cannot know that for certain.”

“I can. You are st-st-stubborn, Your Majesty. You will d-d-d-do it when you’ve decided to s-s-s-set your mind to it.”

“I have set my mind to it,” he growled, scowling at her, “and yet… I almost fell on my face.”

“Let yourself fall. There is no sh-sh-shame in it. The shame c-c-c-comes when you r-r-r-refuse to get back up.”

He glanced around at the others. Two of the Iron Hills dwarves were allowed to venture about on their own now, and over along the opposite wall, sitting at a table, playing cards. Kíli and Fíli were still bed-bound, as were several other Iron Hills dwarves.

“Will you work with them as well?” He gestured to his nephews.

She nodded. “Kíli should be able to tr-tr-try walking soon. Fíli w-w-w-will take l-l-longer, I’m afraid. And be-be-before you ask, Óin has not g-g-g-given a timetable for him.”

Thorin fought back a sigh as he nodded without taking his eyes off his nephews. “I thought as much.” 

He looked back at her. “Does he remember what happened?”

“Bits and pieces, yes. Kíli, too. He’s asked about Tauriel, so he remembers her being there. But what about you? Do you remember?”

Images flashed through his mind—Goblins. Fíli being run through, being tossed from the tower. His own battles with a seemingly endless number of orcs before he came face to face with Azog. The shrill cry of the eagles. The numbingly cold slice of steel splitting his skin and muscle. The sticky heat of his blood pouring from his body. The halfling absolving him of his trespasses.

Then, he shook his head. “I remember nothing.”

She didn't look as if she believed him, but all she said was, “Perhaps in time you will. If y-y-you’re m-m-meant to remember. Now, come.” She straightened up and caught him by the hand. “Let’s get you b-b-back to bed.”

He sighed softly, but let her help him up. Perhaps it was but his imagination, but his wounds didn't seem to pain him as greatly this time. And by the time he was at his bed once more, he didn't seem as wiped out as he had previously. 

Jasna helped him lift his legs to slip under the blanket and then she tugged it up and smoothed it out. “We will try again tomorrow, Your Majesty.”

He nodded as he sank back into his pillows and closed his eyes. But he didn't fall right to sleep, but just lay there, holding back a smile as he felt a gentle hand smooth along his hair, along his temple, followed by a soft, “You will be as y-y-you were, Thorin Oakenshield. I pr-pr-promise you th-th-th-this.”

***

Day after day, Jasna insisted he try walking of his own accord. And with each day, after a somewhat painful start, he did improve. The burn lessened. His stamina grew. His strength increased. 

And day after day, he found himself wondering what happened to the hobbit who’d been the fourteenth member of his Company.  He wondered if Master Baggins was still about, or if he’d returned to the Shire with his acorn to be planted in his garden. They’d had a falling out, although Bilbo absolved him of any guilt on the ice floe after Thorin had slain Azog and, thinking he was dying, apologized to the hobbit for how he’d treated Bilbo. And since Bilbo also though Thorin was dying, he of course forgave him. But, Óin was adamant about no visitors, Thorin had no way of knowing who all remained in Erebor, aside from his own people.

Three weeks following the battle, Jasna came over to him after rounds, in which she, Narnerra, and Óin were all pleased with the progress all three Durins made, and said, “Ready to w-w-walk about, Your Majesty?”

He offered up a level look. “What will it take to get you to call me anything by that?”

She pursed her lips as if giving it deep thought, then said, “The bluest sapphire in that treasure hoard.”

“I beg your pardon?”

She nodded. “B-b-blue is my favorite color.”

“A sapphire.”

“I’ve never had one.”

“I will give you all of the sapphires I can find down there, if you will only call me Thorin.”

Once more, her lips pursed and he had to fight back a smile. With each day, she stammered less, and this was the first time she thought to actually tease him. While he probably should have been annoyed by it, he couldn't bring himself to actually be annoyed. He found he didn't mind her teasing. Not one bit. 

Then with a slow exhale, she shook her head. “I cannot d-d-do that. Óin and Narnerra would b-b-be furious with me.”

“Tell them I said it was all right.”

“I am not getting in the m-m-m-middle of that.”

“Then I’m afraid there will be no sapphires for you.”

The corners of her mouth twitched, but to her credit, her smile never broke through, even as her eyes danced with a merriment he’d not seen before. “I will live with the disappointment, I s-s-suppose.”

“You don’t have to, you know. I’ve made it quite simple.”

She shook her head at him. “You drive a hard bargain.” She gave into her smile then. “Thorin.”

Her smile blindsided him with its brightness, with its ability to make the entire infirmary suddenly seem so much brighter and warmer. Not only would he find her the most prefect sapphire in that entire treasure hoard, but it would be the biggest and the bluest. He wouldn’t rest until he found it, once he was able to move without pain and wade through a sea of gemstones in search of it. 

But for now, he could only return that smile, which he did, and did so easily. “That wasn’t so difficult, now, was it?”

“No, it wasn't. Now, if you’ve had your f-f-fun, I have a surprise for you.”

“A surprise?”

“You’ll see. Come.”

As she’d done each time they’d gone walking, Jasna slipped her arm beneath his to help him, but with each day, she let him do more on his own. The burn remained in his belly, in his chest, but they lessened day by day and once he began moving about, they faded entirely. 

“Where are we going?” he asked when she led him toward the door leading out to the courtyard. 

“I thought you might want a b-b-bit of fresh air.”

“You’ve read my mind, Miss Stoneham.”

“Then I guessed right.”

With that, she guided him to the door leading outside, and let go of him to push it open. He waited for her to take his arm once more, but this time, she said, “I think y-y-you might be able to d-d-do this of your own power now.”

It was the first time since he’d staggered away from Azog, blood soaking into his henley from the wounds he knew would end his life, that he walked of his own power. His head spun, but only a little, and he’d grown proficient enough with the cane that he didn't worry about his knees buckling on him. In fact, the cane was more for Óin’s peace of mind than because Thorin truly needed it any longer.

She waited patiently for him to step out into the cold, and when he did, the draft wafting in about the doorframe was a welcomed coolness against his face. 

They stepped out into the graying afternoon. Winter hung heavy in the air, with a threat of snow as the clouds grew thicker and more leaden. But for Thorin, it might as well have been a sunny, warm, summer day, for he was just grateful to be there.

“Are you all right?”

He glanced down at her. Although she was of Man, and Men were usually a good head taller than dwarves, she was smaller than him. Her head only came to the top of his shoulder. She was tiny and compact, but surprisingly strong, although this time, instead of keeping a guiding arm about him as they ventured out into to the cold afternoon, she let him do it himself.  

“I am fine,” he murmured, lifting his face to the soft wind. He almost hoped snow would begin to fall. For the first time since he came face to face with Azog the Defiler, the Gundabad orc who’d hunted him from the Shire to Ravenhill, he felt hopeful for the coming days. It wasn't a feeling to which he was accustomed, as it seemed he was destined to suffer one loss after other, culminating in the ultimate loss.

His life.

Bilbo had saved him, according to her and Óin. He’d packed the otherwise lethal wounds and gone to fetch Dwalin and Balin to bring him back to Erebor. It was only too bad he didn't know where the halfling had gone, as Thorin would like to thank him personally. 

“Where is the hobbit?” he asked Jasna, who kept a hand on his arm as they moved slowly across the overgrown courtyard. 

“I don’t know,” she told him, looking up and shaking her head. “I’ve not s-s-s-seen him, I’m afraid. I’ve been b-b-busy.”

“He’s not come looking to see me or Fíli or Kíli?”

She shook her head. “No. I d-d-don’t think so. I could ask Óin, though. He’s been f-f-fairly strict about v-v-v-visitors. He’s not let any in if he could help it.”

“No need.” He sighed as he stumped over to the low stone wall and settled on it with an equally low sigh. His entire body ached the way it had after he and the Company encountered Azog and his orc pack just outside Goblintown, when he’d been battered and bruised by goblins, orcs, and a bloodthirsty warg. He felt somewhat shaky, a bit lightheaded, and didn't like it one bit. “I need to rest a minute.”

Her expression became one of concern. “Do you n-n-need Óin?”

“No. I only need sit a minute.” He patted the stone beside him. “Come and join me.”

She moved to sink onto the rough stone alongside him. The dappled sunlight splitting through the thickening clouds skipped along her hair, making it glow almost like fire every time she moved or the breeze rustled through the tendrils that escaped from the somewhat messy knot she’d swept them into. 

“Have you family still? Or did I cause them to be lost?”

She frowned at him. “I b-b-beg your pardon?”

“Smaug,” he gestured toward Erebor’s back wall, “the dragon. We awoke him, and I unleashed him upon Esgaroth. It wasn’t my intention, of course, but I still did it.”

“Oh, stop.” The annoyance in her voice caught him by surprise, as did the scowl she offered him. “You didn’t do it apurpose.”

“No.” He couldn’t hold back the heavy sigh that clawed its way to his lips. “No, having him destroy Esgaroth was not what I’d planned to have happen. But, it did, and that is on my shoulders.”

“Do you intend to honor your word? As you spoke of when we were gazing upon all that treasure.”

“Do you truly think the bowman will accept it? Accept my apology and my promise to honor the promise I’ve already broken?” 

“Do you honestly intend to keep both?”

“I do, yes.”

“Then yes, I think he will. Perhaps not at first as he’s angry still, you know. But in time, I do think so, yes.”

“Angry still? Did you know I went back on my word before I told you that the other day? Were you in the town square when I boasted about how I’d share all of the riches of the mountain with your people?”

“No. I w-w-wasn’t. I was at the sc-sc-school, in my d-d-dormitory and b-b-by the time I was free, you had g-g-gone into the M-m-m-master’s house to celebrate.” She held his gaze, hers unflinching and direct. “But I kn-kn-know B-bard was furious when you went b-b-back on it.”

“Bard. Bard the dragon-slayer.” He turned his gaze back to Erebor. “How do you know him?”

“He is a friend. He l-l-looked out for m-m-me after Esgaroth b-b-burned. He knew my father. They f-f-fished together.” 

“Did you lose anyone? You didn't answer me.”

“No. I didn’t. It was just me and my m-m-mother and she lives on in Dale.” Now she turned back to him. “What about you? Have you family as well?”

“You’ve met my nephews, more or less,” he replied, casting his gaze once more toward Erebor’s rear façade. Unlike the front, this was perfectly intact, gleaming granite and obsidian shimmering with the pale afternoon light. “And my sister. She should be here any day, and I’ve yet to decide if I’m looking forward to it or dreading it.”

“Why would you dread it?”

He sighed, turning slightly to look over at the tower of Ravenhill. It looked so innocent, a rising column of black and gray stone visible through the mists and snow that always seemed to surround it. “I was responsible for those boys, Miss Stoneham. And I almost got them killed. That’s why. I almost got them killed. I’m responsible for what Smaug did. For what happened to the dwarves here, the elves who stood with us when they didn’t really wish to, the Men of Esgaroth who survived Smaug, only to fall on the battlefield. I’m responsible for all of it.”

“We’ve already discussed Smaug and you are n-n-not responsible for what he chose to do. Just as you are n-n-not responsible for falling prey to the dragon sickness. You didn’t chose either of those. They happened to you.”

“Still—”

“No,” she broke in sharply, shaking her head, “n-n-n-no still, Your Majesty. You d-d-d-did not m-make him torch Esgaroth. He chose to do that on his own. But, what h-h-happened with your nephews that makes you f-f-feel responsible for it?”

His gut kinked to send a brackish taste flooding his mouth. “I’d rather not speak of it, if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t, of c-c-course. But, I’d be l-lying if I said I w-w-wasn’t curious.” Her hand came to rest on his wrist and he was struck by how tiny it was compared to his own huge, square hand with its equally huge, thick fingers. Her hand was tiny and delicate, her fingers short, but slender. 

“Dis should be here anytime in the next few days. I’m not at all certain what to say to her.”

Her fingers tightened about his wrist. “You tell her how gr-grateful you are that her sons survived.” 

To his surprise, she smiled up at him then. “Be-be-because they had a won-won-won—fantastic healer.”

She said it with a bright, sunny smile and no little pride and he couldn't help but smile back at her. “You wish to take the credit?”

She nodded, her auburn curls bobbing merrily. “I do, yes. My tiny hands—” she held up her hands then—“fit perfectly into small spaces and allowed Narnerra and Óin to sew all three of you up.”

“So, you get the credit, but those who sewed do not?”

Her brows pulled together. “Well… perhaps I should give th-them some credit.” She held up one hand, her thumb and forefinger almost touching. “That m-much.”

He couldn’t help but smile down at her. Her stammer seemed to have faded somewhat, so hopefully that meant she was growing more comfortable around him. Good. He’d rather people treat him as they had before his return to Erebor—as just another dwarf instead of as the king. After all, he’d been a poor excuse for a king until now, and he hated anyone putting him on a pedestal. He’d fallen from it once and had no desire to do so again.

“That much, eh?” Without thinking, he nudged her with his shoulder. If she was comfortable with him, he was definitely comfortable with her. After all, she’d had her hands inside him. How did one pretend to be of a higher station after that?

“Yes. That’s fair.” She nudged him back. 

“Take care,” he said softly, nudging her a second time. “If you push the king off this wall, I might have to call for help and then what?”

She clapped a hand to her mouth, her cheeks going red. “Oh, I beg your pardon, Your Majesty. I-I d-d-d—”

“Ah, I am but teasing you, Miss Stoneham.” He nudged her a third time. 

“Your M-m-majesty, I—”

“I thought we agreed you’d call me Thorin,” he broke in softly. 

To his surprise, her cheeks went pink again. “I d-d-d-don’t th-th-think I should.”

“Really?” He carefully eased off the wall and stumped around to stand before her. “Because I think you most definitely should.”

She looked up, her eyes wide and luminous and the most beautiful shade of yellowish-green he’d ever seen. As soon as she met his gaze, hers fell and he stepped closer, taking care with the cane not to hit a rock or clump of dirt or anything that would throw him off balance. The ache in his belly subsided, receding to the farthest corners of his mind and as his gaze fell to Jasna’s full lips, all he could think about was what it would be like to kiss her. 

With his free hand, he caught her beneath the chin, lifting her face to his. “It’s quite all right, you know.”

“W-w-what is?”

“Calling me Thorin. It’s my name, after all.”

“I know, but… you’re a king.”

“A minor technicality,” he murmured, his heart speeding up as she held his gaze. The tip of her tongue flicked out against her bottom lip and he almost groaned aloud, the urge to lean in and capture those lips wrapping tightly about him. 

“I couldn’t.”

He leaned in. “You could. I’ve given permission, you know.”

“Your Majesty, I—”

Her lips were but inches from his, her eyes—wide and luminous—held his, and he couldn't make his voice go above a whisper as he replied, “Thorin,” and bent to touch his lips to hers. 

“Thorin! There you are!”

He jerked back, sucking in a sharp breath at the fiery sting that swept through his midsection, and slowly turned about to see his sister, Dís hurrying across the courtyard toward him. Before he could say anything, she launched herself at him, wrapping her arms about his neck as she exclaimed, “What happened here? I heard you’d fallen from Azog’s blade!”

“Well, as you can see, I did no such thing.” He wrapped her in a tight, one-armed hug, then set her back on her feet. “I was wondering if you’d gotten lost trying to find your way here.”

“We ran into weather like you would not believe.” She smiled up at him, but then her gaze shifted to Jasna. “Good afternoon.”

“Dís, this is Miss Jasna Stoneham,” Thorin said, gesturing to Jasna, who offered up a polite smile. “Miss Stoneham, my sister, Dís.”

“You are one of the healers, right?” Dís asked, her eyes narrowing slightly. “I heard Óin had asked several Men to come and help out, the casualties were so great.” 

“They were, but Miss Stoneham is the only one they brought in. She was training to be a healer in Esgaroth when… when everything happened. Fíli and Kíli would not be alive today, if not for this woman.”

Dis’ eyes grew warmer and she smiled. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Stoneham. There are no words to express my gratitude that you were here to help my sons.”

“The pl-pl-pleasure is all mine, Miss Durin.”

Dís looked from her to him and Thorin didn't miss the slight arch of her eyebrow. She knew what she’d almost walked in on, and he just hoped she didn't chose now to mother him, as she was wont to do at some of the worst times. “So, tell me what happened, Thorin.”

His gut kinked. “I don’t know that now is the time, Dís. I—”

Jasna eased down off the wall. “I should g-g-get b-b-back. Lady Dís, it w-w-w-was lovely t-t-t-to m-m-m-meet you.”

Dís offerer up a sympathetic look, one that fired Thorin’s annoyance even as his sister said, “You don’t need to run off on my account, Miss Stoneham.”

“N-n-no. I sh-should get back. Óin w-w-will b-b-b-be ex-ex-ex—waiting for me.”

“Miss Stoneham, I—” 

Thorin reached for her, but she was too quick, shifting out of his grasp as she replied, “I will s-s-s-see you later, when we r-r-round.”

And with that, she was gone, hurrying back inside before he could situate himself enough to go after her. Dís turned to him, her blue Durin eyes wide as she said, “What is with her?”

“She has a stammer, if you haven’t noticed. And grows worse when she’s nervous.”

“Well, she wouldn’t be the first woman you’ve tied into knots, would she?”

He rolled his eyes. “I have nothing to do with it.”

“Really?” She folded her arms and offered up the same all-knowing look she often gave one or both of her sons when she thought she had them caught dead to rights over something. “Because from where I sat, it looked as if things were quite cozy between you and Miss Stoneham.”

He stared hard at her, ignoring the flutter in his gut at the thought of what might have happen, had she not shown up when she did. “Dís, she is my doctor, for better or for worse. There is nothing cozy between either one of us. This is the first I’ve been out of doors since I was brought in here and she was helping me. That’s all.”

“If you say so.” Dís shrugged. “Tell me about her anyway. I have to admit, I was stunned when Dwalin told me there was a daughter of Man working here. Óin must have been very desperate for help.”

“He was, but it paid off in this instance. She is quite gifted, you know.” Thorin glanced back toward Erebor’s rear entrance, then up at the distant shadow of Ravenhill. His gut rolled over slowly as he let his gaze roam over the stone tower that just rose above the mountain. “The wounded were in the hundreds, Dís. Elves. Dwarves. Men. Óin and Narnerra could never care for so many on their own.”

“And one more helped?”

He didn't miss the note of disbelief in her voice and for some reason, it put him on the defensive. “Not all of them survived, you know. The elves came and claimed their wounded to take back to Dale. The Men of Dale spent days digging graves and burying our dead as well as their own.”

A hint of a blush came to her fair cheeks, staining the skin above the beard that was almost as dark as his own. “I don’t know what to say, Thorin,” she said softly, shaking her head, “I cannot wrap my head around how many there must have been.”

“Dáin came through, although he said at the beginning that this fight was ours and ours alone. His army. The Woodland army. Our kin. The Men of Dale. They all fought valiantly together and each loss was felt by all.”

“So, what happened to you and Fíli, and Kíli?”

He met her gaze and a hint of shame washed over him. How did he ever explain to her how he’d fallen headlong into Azog’s trap and nearly gotten both of her children killed as a result? How did he explain that his greed, his lust for power, for gold, for jewels, started the war that ended with them stumbling headlong into the perfectly laid trap Azog had set for them in order to end the line of Durin?

“It is not important now, Dís. They survived. That is what matters and I should take you to them so you can see for yourself.”

“Thorin,” she caught his wrist as he made to stump back toward the fortress, “what aren’t you telling me?”

“It is not my story to share,” he told her gently. “Ask Fíli. Ask Kíli. They—”

“I’m asking you because you were there,” she broke in, shaking her head. “I’ve no wish to have my sons relive their worst moments.”

“But you wish me to?” His gut curdled at that. “I might deserve it, but—”

“How did it come to war?”

“Dís, I—”

“Do I ask so much?” 

“You ask enough at the moment. I am not yet ready to—”

Her eyes reddened, grew shiny as she shook her head again. “You’re not ready to speak of it, but why?”

“Because, Dís.” He drew in a deep breath, then let it out slowly as he braced himself for her reaction. “It was my fault. All of it. I led Erebor to war and as a result, nearly got them both killed. Every single body in that infirmary is there because of my actions. Every grave that has been dug between here and Dale is a result of my actions. The smoking ruins and burned out skeletons of Esgaroth are direct result of my actions. So no, I do not wish to discuss it.”

“Thorin?”

“What? They are. My blind greed. My desire to keep everything in that treasure hoard for myself, for Erebor, that’s what led to war. That is why your sons almost died. And that is the thing I most regret above all else I’ve ever done.” He leaned heavily on the cane as the dull ache bit into him, beginning at his belly, then spreading both up into his chest and down into his legs. “And now, you should go and see your boys, Dís. And leave me be, if you don’t mind.”

Her eyes softened and she reached out to catch his free hand in hers. “I don’t blame you, Thorin. I don’t. That hoard had a dragon sleeping on it for nearly two centuries. Of course it—” 

“You might not blame me,” he interrupted sharply, “but I most certainly do blame me. And there is nothing you can say or do to convince me that blame lies elsewhere. Now, go inside and sit with your sons. They will be happy to hear your voice.”

She just stared at him for a long moment and he braced himself for another argument. But then, she bobbed her head. “As you wish, Thorin. But we are not finished here. Not yet.”

“Dís—”

“I saw Dwalin and Balin on my way in and neither one of them blames you, you know. And I’ll wager none of the others do, either. You did what you have done since Smaug first stole Erebor from us—you led. You did what you had to in order to make a good life for all of the displaced Ereborians. And then you took back that which had been stolen from us. And now, here we are.”

“I know where we are,” he told her, irritation lowering his voice to a deeper growl than usual, “and I know why we are here. And I appreciate your trying to mollify me, but don’t. I shoulder this responsibility, just as I’ve done since Ered Luin, and I will not let anyone believe that anyone else is to blame for what happened here, for what happened in Esgaroth and Dale, or for what happened at Ravenhill. That lies upon my shoulders as well and you know it.”

She let out a slow breath. “And you won’t tell me what happened here? Or up there?” She gestured toward the gray and black stone tower in the distance. 

“Dis… please…” He winced at the sharp pain slicing through the scar on his chest.

“Are you all right?”

“I’m fine. Just healing.” He waved off her concern. “Please, go and see the lads. I’m sure they will be beyond happy to see you.”

She sighed once more and then nodded. “Very well. If you insist.”

He sank onto the edge of the stone wall once more. “I do.”

“Very well. But I hope you trust me enough to tell me sooner rather than later because I know you, Thorin. And I know how you are with those boys. You would never put them in harm’s way intentionally. You’ve always been as a father to them and I will not believe anything else.”

He closed his eyes at the conviction in her voice. Yes, he’d stepped up when Dís’ husband, Vili perished at Azanulbizar, filled the role of father for his nephews. But he wasn’t their father and he could never be their father. And not only that, but he’d very nearly gotten them killed due to his own idiocy. 

When he opened his eyes again, he was in the courtyard alone. The sunlight was fading, the cool air grew colder still and as night crept in, snow began to fall. He sat there, on that low stone wall and let the flakes gather in his hair, along his beard, and all the while wondered how much warmer kissing Jasna would have made them both feel. 

[stainedmystery]

Who Am I?

Howdy! I go by Midnight, she/her. DM / Asks will likely always be open, so feel free to message me :D! I love chatting, whether it be about my characters, yours, or ride lore! I also enjoy RPing, especially coming up with grand, dramatic, interactive stories. 

This blog is dedicated to mostly my Alton Towers ocs, though there will probably be at least cameos from some other park characters. I’ve been world building and character designing for so long I finally decided it’s time to write some stories and get my work out there.

I am not an artist. Every piece of art you see on this blog is likely going to be a commission/drawn by a friend, so please always keep an eye out for the tags! These artists are EXCEPTIONAL. I recommend all of them to you if you’re ever looking for a commission artist! They’re also cool people to follow too... 

I am an author, however. I’m currently working on a daily october challenge! 

These are my main Alton characters, drawn by the marvelously talented horror artist Xan. 

From left to right, we have:

Addie: Addie is my GalacticAir, she’s a never-ending ray of sunshine who always keeps positive, no matter how far off course the situation has gotten. She’s a whiz with technology and the heart of the group. 

Will: Will is my Wicker Man. Beora, the head goddess of the Beoren, realised their tactic of ‘murderous fire cult’ wasn’t popular with attracting new cult members, and decided to take a 180 with this marketing stunt. What if the next head of the Beoren was once the town’s most beloved golden boy? He... has very little idea on what’s going on but that won’t stop him from trying his best to live up to his newfound cult leader job. 

Teresa: Teresa is my Thirteen, and I also love to describe her as my Scooby Doo Villain. A blind young girl who lives in the woods, she uses her telepathic relationship with the plants to navigate. She also uses every cheap haunted house trick in the book to scare off townsfolk who attempt to get too close to her ‘crypt’. 

Nicole: Nicole is my Nemesis, a trained super solider for the Phalanx. She is easily one of their strongest and swiftest operatives, able to take on intense threats no one else can tackle. As political tensions rise, Nicole has stayed loyal to the townsfolk, determined to keep everyone safe... Even as propaganda from certain bitter exes attempts to paint her out to be a monster. 

Oliver: All Oblivion OCs are named Oliver, and I am no exception. Oliver is that one, sane, straight-man to this chaotic friends. Spending most of his time in the local bookshop keeping records of everything that occurs, he is consistently visited by just about everyone to solve their issues. He’s always around to help Addie with her latest invention, lend an ear to Nicole as she complains about what nightmarish thing Joy has done of recent, and be a reality check anytime Sadie tries to scheme. 

Sadie: Sadie is my Smiler, and is the most chaotic of the group. The wild card, no one can ever seem to predict what she is about to say or do... Much to Nicole’s frustration. She’s just here to have a good time guys, she just wants to have fun in the moment and live life to its fullest... And never have to consider the consequences of her actions. 

Joy: (not in the photo) Joy is a Sanctuary OC, leading the Ministry of Joy. Dr Kelman is such a revered and exceptional character that I’m unsure if I’d be able to write for him, so Joy is his son and currently leads the Ministry of Joy in his absence. Joy is as evil as they come, spending most of his time on unholy experiments within the basement of the Sanctuary. Never trust a deal made with him, there will always be an unforeseen consequence that’ll leave him laughing, and you 6ft under. 

(As I go on and post whole character introductions, I’ll come back and edit this so there’s hyperlinks on their names). 

[joyful-soul-collector]

🌷Irondad Fanfic Rec List🌷

World’s Best Babysitter by @jen27ny

Summary: “The second Tony sees that Morgan’s favorite stuffed elephant grew to the size of a real elephant, he vows to himself to never ever let Scott babysit again.”

Relationships/Tropes: Scott Lang & Peter Parker, Scott Lang & Morgan Stark, Scott Lang & Tony Stark, Irondad, Spider-Sized Peter Parker, Babysitting, Crackfic

Review: This was so hilarious man I love how Peter made himself a Lego spaceship to be shrunk in, that's such a Peter thing to do

🌷

blood under my belt by pvrker

Summary: His sweatpants come off next, landing softly on the expensively tiled floor before he kicks them to the side. "What the fuck-"

It's a reasonable reaction, seeing the bright blotch of red inside the crotch of his pants. And Peter thinks, this can't be happening.

Relationships/Tropes: Irondad, Ironmom, Trans Peter Parker, Coming Out

Review: This is so so sweet! I love the way this Peter's reaction was described, and the way Pepper treated him with such kind gentleness, and how sweet Tony was after he found out what was going on. Just too freaking sweet and nice

🌷

Like A Bear by @an-odd-idea

Summary:

Whumptober 2020

Prompt 21: Hypothermia

Peter and Tony wake up sealed in a box, but it’s not just a box, and Peter’s not just a kid

Relationships/Tropes: Irondad, Kidnapped, Whumptober, Peter Parker Can’t Thermoregulate

Review: This story was great! The tension of Peter beginning to fall asleep and Tony panicking and doing his best to try and keep Peter warm was perfect, and I love how Rhodey was right there for Tony, waiting for him to wake up. So sweet <3

🌷

A Shrunken Spider by @an-odd-idea

Summary:  A fight with a magic-wielding foe leaves Peter shrunken and vulnerable. Luckily, Tony is there to take care of him until the spell wears off.

Relationships/Tropes: Irondad, Tiny Peter Parker

Review: This story was so cute! I love how Peter felt so safe in Tony's hand, as well as the part with the poptart haha. I think my favorite thing was that Tony kept holding Peter even as he was getting back to normal, it was so  s o f t

🌷

When You Smile I Am Undone by @superherotiger

Summary:  HI! IF YOU'RE STILL DOING THE DRABBLES, COULD YOU DO ONE WITH A THEATER NERD PETER? PREFERABLY HAMILTON BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE!!!!! THANK YOU!! :D

Relationships/Tropes: Irondad, Theatre Nerd Peter Parker, Hamilton

Review: AAAAAAAAA this story had so much emotion??? It was so cool to see Tony's reaction to certain parts of the musical in relation to Peter, especially the part where Philip died. I hadn't even thought of how Tony would react to that tbh, so it was almost a surprise, but it made perfect sense for Tony to react rather strongly to it compared to other parts. Loved this fic, 10/10

🌷

Worst. Kidnappers. Ever. by @jen27ny

Summary: Not sure if this has been done before? But would you consider a prompt where Peter gets kidnapped but escapes easily, his kidnappers not even realizing that he's gone. So Peter gets home and is hanging out with Tony and then Tony gets a ransom call from the kidnappers but Tony just stares at Peter who just shrugs like its no big deal.

Relationships/Tropes: Irondad, Kidnapping, (sort of), Crackfic

Review: HAHA this fic was hilarious, I loved Peter's complete nonchalance, and I love how Tony was still worried about him even though Peter was right there and perfectly fine lol

🌷

That Would Be Enough by @superherotiger (Pt. 3 of Estranged Irondad AU, Pt. 1 & 2 linked ^^^)

Summary: Nicknames and Tony Stark seemed to come hand in hand.

With a single glance at someone he could conjure up a title that would brand them for years to come, much to the amusement and frustration of his close friends like Rhodey, Pepper and Happy. Sometimes the names were designed to annoy -the clench of Steve Roger’s jaw when he’d first called him Capsicle had been entertaining to say the least-, but most often they were affectionate. Playful. Reserved for those Tony cared for the most.

And his son Peter was no exception.

Relationships/Tropes: Irondad, Estranged Irondad AU, Gunshot wound

Review: AAAAAAAA THIS FIC IS SO SWEET AND SAD AT THE SAME TIME. I love how you can see them slowly starting to get closer to each other, slowly building up a bond of trust and love, and it's just so wholesome and perfect <3

🌷

I Hate You 3000 by @jen27ny 

Summary: I take need a fic where Peter playfully tells Tony that he hates him 3000. 😂😂😂😂😂 I'm begging you.

Relationships/Tropes: Irondad, Adult Peter Parker, Crackfic

Review: oh my god this was hilarious. I love that Peter trains the new younger avengers now, that's so cute, and my favorite part was when he listed all the inconvenient things that should happen to Tony haha

🌷

Cider by @tsuki-chibi (Pt. 3 of aro-ace dad and son, Pt. 18 of Aro-Ace Valentine fics)

Summary: Dating is a little more complicated when you're not interested in sex. Luckily, Peter has a great mentor.

Relationships/Tropes: Irondad, AroAce Peter Parker, AroAce Tony Stark

Review: You all know I'm always here for Ace Irondad and Spider-Son and this was absolutely PERFECT I love it! I know I worry about the same things Peter talks about in this fic, so it was really nice to see those two talking about that type of stuff :D

🌷

When Your Colour Has Faded (We Will Paint It Back) by @littlemissagrafina (Pt. 3 of Discord Challenges)

Summary: "Peter, wha-" May started to ask before Peter cut her off, words suddenly spilling over where a moment ago there had been none.

"I don't have colour anymore. I'm dull, faded, and I don't know how to get myself back." Peter's voice was small, the almost numb resignation in it striking May and Tony to their cores. 

"I'm not who I used to be. I'm a broken pallet with dried up, cracking paint where I used to be bright, and colourful and I don't know what to do. I don't- I don't know how to get me back." The teenager's voice cracked on the last few words, desperation and despair shining in his eyes.

Relationships/Tropes: Irondad, SpiderAunt, Depressed Peter Parker

Review: This fic was really sad but really nice at the same time. I like that both Peter and his parental figures noticed that something was wrong, I feel like it's usually one or the other in most fics, and I like that Peter asked for help when it was starting to get too bad. We definitely need more stories about characters getting help for their depression instead of suffering through it :']

🌷

Sleepy Crawler by @jen27ny 

Summary: Hi! Thank you so much for the prompt you wrote me! I loved it so much! I'm not sure if you are taking more or not but if you are, could you write one where Peter sleeps walking into Pepper and Tony's room, waking them both up! Fluff, cuddles, super sweet moment between the three of them? Thanks so much and you are an amazing writer! I always get a smile when I see you have written something x

Relationships/Tropes: Irondad, Ironmom, Peter Parker Sleepwalks

Review: This story was adorable! It's so cute how Peter subconsciously (or... unconsciously?) went to Tony and Pepper in his sleep when he was stressed out

🌷

If you look at any these stories, be sure to show the author your appreciation with a comment/kudos/reblog where applicable!

Click here for more fanfic rec lists!

[lovee-infected]

hi hi!!! i love your vil analysis post!! just wondering though...why does vil force epel to do traditionally “cute, feminine” things. i get that it’s, like, to counter neige for the vdc, but it kind of goes against vil’s ideology? like, how i see it, vil advocates for people to express themselves how they want without being bound by gender roles. i feel like if epel tried forcing his manliness ideology onto other people, he’d be justified in his “forcing epel to do cute things” plan, but i don’t think epel has ever shamed feminine guys? he just wants to be manly himself. could this be an allusion to how the evil queen turned ugly just to fulfill her goals? vil going against his core ideals and becoming “ugly” just to win?

Glad you enjoyed it dear! As for your question, I believe that'll be better if I go into details because I've seen many asking similar questions regarding chapter 5, and I guess that's causing some misunderstandings towards both Vil and Epel. Well, we're soon getting the rest of the Pomefiore Chapter, so I guess it's the best time for an analysis on Epel and Vil's relationship and how Chapter 5 has been going so far

First off, let me state something really really important about the Pomefiore chapter, this arc has got pretty wild spirits that are quite new compared to the previous chapters. We've got Neige, the first RSA character to appear as a real rival of a NRC student, Vil and Epel's rough relationship, Ace and Deuce joining MC on the new adventure once again and finally, the VDC: an event with is potentially important to not only the whole NRC but also Twisted Wonderland!

While all fans are surely excited to see what we'll be going through next, there are quite a few of misunderstandings and wrong interpretations that are considerably important regarding the Pomefiore chapter. In order to avoid possible dramas and more misinterpretions between the fans, let's try to take a better look at this Chapter and important Pomefiore hints that we've got so far:

(1)Epel's feelings; the most important element of chapter 5

One of the quite brilliant facts about Chapter 5, is the unique presence of characters and their roles in the story. This might seem quite unrecognizable, but right now Epel's appearance is effecting the audience way more than Vil's! This arc is mainly focusing on making the audience feel his pain and hard time, and I can say that they're doing it pretty well! We'll talk about how his feelings are being presented in part (6). Now, you may wonder why his feelings are so important in the Pomefiore arc? Isn't it supposed to be mostly about Vil? Well of course, the story is most likely leading us to Vil's overblot so he's the heart of this chapter, but the important thing is too see how crucial Epel's role is here. Watching how Epel is in pain, silenty crying and forced into doing something that he doesn't want to by Vil is savagely effecting this fandom's interpretation of Vil, some are commenting on how he's the worst or how horrible he is or hundreds of not really friendly critiques which is awfully frustrating... We'd continue to talk about this point in part (5)!

(2) Epel's relationship with Vil

Let's review what we've got through the side stories. To begin with, Epel obviously doesn't really like Vil, (I'm trying to cooperate and not say that he hates him) he didn't appreciate having him as the dorm leader from the very beginning. But he's got some strong reasons to dislike Vil so we can't really blame him:

1)Vil slapped him all of a sudden just because of his poor posture at the dinner table 2)Vil almost crashed Epels head between his hands while teaching him some manners 3)Vil's idealistic are just the opposite of Epel's 4)Vil is trying to change Epel, especially during chaptet 5. It sometimes feels like Vil is treating Epel like his puppet and Epel doesn't appreciate this all.

At the end of his SR lab story Epel stated how he's going to study his hardest in magic and potions, so maybe at some point he'd beat Vil, which goes to prove that he considers Vil a rival.

"Why is it so though? Isn't this pretty risky for Epel to challenge Vil, especially as Vil is a dorm leader and Epel's just a first year who's still an amateur at magic?"

Farewell, let me mention something about Epel, he's got a really strong will to the point of not giving up until proving everyone wrong. He's often looked down on, is called to be useless and dumb, and is sometimes insulted for being innocent and naïve. True, he still has a lot he needs to learn and he's aware, but he won't take being underestimated easily.

Just look at him! He's been raised in a farm and he still found his way to this school filled with stunning students coming from noble families while Epel is a simple country boy! He proved the point to us once again in his lab coat story where Crewel gave him an impossible task just to push him into giving up and coming to apologize afterwards. When Epel realized that he was just tricked by Crewel, he felt quite frustrated and started to cry, yet he didn't give up and used his personal experiments and what he'd learned back in his farm life and paved his road to success and impressing everyone including Crewel!

This is why he isn't backing up now, he doesn't want and isn't going to lose to Vil. Another important reason might be how Vil seems to have control over Epel, his manners, his attitude, the way he looks and basically, the person Epel is. Epel has indirectly said that Vil may be currently bounding his actions and life, but someday this will change. He mentioned similar lines several times and you can see he really has a strong will to prove everyone, especially Vil, that he's not a cute apple boy to sit still and look pretty. And if he's been waiting for the right time to stand against Vil, chapter 5 has got it. In part (7) you'll see why.

(3)What is happening in chapter 5?

Okay before we continue, let's just focus on what we've got in Pomefiore chapter: This year's vocal and dance championship has an unbelievable amount of media focused on it , because two of the world-famous influencers,Vil Schoenheit & Neige Leblanche, are joining. Both are great influencers and talented designers, but recently Neige has been getting really popular through the social media and TV, thus Vil realizes that the time to face his well-known rival, Neige, has come.

The VDC is no joke to him because hundreds of people are coming to watch this competition between two Celebrities, and his career is surely at risk. If the VDC doesn't go as well as he's planned, that'll be an end to his fame and clout, possibly his whole career! Therefore he has to make sure that nothing is going to ruin his plans for the big day, and that's why he is going to use his ultimate weapon, the red poisoned apple. Note that this isn't just about Vil, it's about protecting NRC's clout against RSA as well, so losing the VDC would seriously effect NRC's picture throughout the whole twisted wonderland. So a really important part of NRC's future is relying on Vil's hands right now.

Look, unlike the previous chapters, Vil's story is about nothing fictional or exaggerated; it's something that's pretty normal to see in real life! Two famous fashion designers joining a competition, both are giving in their best, aren't planning to lose, are going to be awfully strict towards training their models and making sure that nothing would be messed up, and are SERIOUS about winning because losing it to the other side would end in losing their clout and having the reports of their unfortunate fall-down spread worldwide.

Unlike the previous overblots, Vil's strictness and seriousness has NOTHING to do with being evil or crazy, he's just doing what he's supposed to be doing, working his hardest to defend his career. Anyone else who were in Vil's shoes would've done the same, and nothing about it chaotic, heartless or mad. His being pretty strict towards Epel because he's his main hope, Epel is the perfect beauty material and is definitely capable of achieving all the best through the VDC, that's why Vil's counting on him. Just as a fashion designer is strict with training their model, Vil is all serious with his way of couching Epel. And it's just about being professional, not being evil!

(4) It's not about Vil, it's about Epel

This is more of a continuation to part (3), but let's talk seriously about how wrong chapter 5 is being interpreted. "Vil is the worst! Can't he see that Epel doesn't want this?" or "Ew gross! People like Vil who use others for their very own benefits are just horrible" are some of the aggressive comments I've recently heard about how Vil is doing in Chapter 5, which is mainly because of Epel. I mentioned that Epel's feelings are most important element of chapter 5 and this is why!! Vil isn't doing anything that savage or mean but his actions seem to be a lot more appealing to fans due to how Epel's frustration and pain is being focused on. It's not because of Vil, it's because of Epel. Vil had been just the same with Leona back in the fairy gala event and most of the fans considered the story to be much of a comedy, but when Vil's treating Epel just the same way it sounds mean, cruel, harsh and heartless. See what I meant? Epel's presence was crucial to give Vil an evil perspective and make him seem just as bad as Azul or Leona.

I'm not defending his action since Epel as well is surely under a serious pressure. He doesn't even want to be joining the VDC, let alone having to follow all these strict rules that Vil's been teaching him so far. But since Epel forcedly made the deal with Vil and promised to help him for the VDC, there's no turning back now. Vil is counting on him as his very last hope and is putting his hardest of work and effort into training Epel, just like any professional fashion designer would've done.

(5)Vil is NOT the Evil Queen!

As for Vil's biggest difference with the Evil Queen, I must say that Vil does really work his hardest for what he desires. Evil Queen simply wanted Snow White dead while we've got Vil, working his ass off preparing everything for the VDC. He isn't just going to get mad and envies of Neige because his becoming popular, he doesn't want Neige dead either. All Vil has been doing so far was working and working and working and getting to be called cruel and heartless in return, I mean can't you just feel the amount of effort and nerve he's giving into work?

See, a considerable majority of the fandom is exaggerating the story of chapter 5 while Vil hasn't even shown a simple sign of having any ill intentions or evil plans in mind! We don't know what is going to happen i the next episodes but let's say that he hasn't done a single evil thing so far.

Just take a look at previous chapters! Leona was openly planning to unfairly harm and injure other students and Azul fooled nearly 200 students, took away their magic and forced them to work for him in Mostrolounge until they graduate from the very beginning. Heartslabyul and Scarabia weren't as severe as these two but they still did have some sort of a visibly unhealthy aura. Vil's current impression as the villain of chapter 5 is high-kay normal and chill compared to the previous chapters as he literally has done nothing evil so far, NOTHING. Most of the fandom is currently giving him the malicious aura that he doesn't have, or at least he doesn't yet have. Look, Vil's just doing his job. This doesn't even have anything to do with the Evil Queen! Also, Vil's rival ship with Neige has nothing to do with beauty, it's about fame, net-worth and popularity.

We don't know if he'd come up with any ill plans or serious intentions to harm Neige or anyone else in the new episodes, but his current impression in nothing more than going hard on Epel as his coach which is just being overly exaggerated by the fandom. A real life fashion designer would've done JUST the same thing! I know that this story is most likely going to end in Vil's overblot and him revealing his inner villain but come on, he hasn't done anything horrible so far!

(6)How Epel is being presented through Chapter 5

This point is the cause of many misunderstandings and confusions regarding Chapter 5, many find the context of Epel being forced to do what he doesn't like so cruel, some on the other hand are confused becaused Vil has clearly stated that his terms of beauty are gender neutral, so why would he force Epel to do these in the first place? As I said before, it's because of Epel, not Vil.

When it comes to perspectives on beauty, Epel's idealistics are just the opposite of Vil's. Look, Epel hates being mistaken with a girl or being considered soft and cute, this is something that has been bothering him for quite a long time. Being misgendered because of his appearance all over his life has had some negative effects on his perspective toward anything cute or feminine, as it just reminds him as how he often gets misunderstood because of his unwanted appearance and cuteness. Epel is awfully similar to Deuce and wants nothing more than getting to reveal the manliness he's holding within, through not only tastes but also abilities.

This is why he's been feeling quite uncomfortable in chapter 5 because Vil's basically pushing him into doing what he hates the most, looking cute and, well, something that Epel would consider feminine. The thing is, Vil does not consider stuff like 'Being able to sing beautifully, performing eye-catching movements voice, wearing stunning clothes and applying makeup' feminine at all, to Vil these are gender neutral terms of beauty and he doesn't get why Epel might consider them girlish or feminine either. Epel's comment on not wanting to do girlish things sounded naïve and low key rude to Vil because beauty isn't bound to being male or female, and he doesn't appreciate the idea of these works being called girlish at all.

This is neither Epel nor Vil's fault, it's just the difference in idealistics.

(7) Vil's on thin ice right now

Let me tell you a secret, 'choosing Epel to become the red poisoned apple wasn't an accidental act AT ALL'. Vil has been watching over Epel ever since he entered NRC and this is why he was so strict about changing this "Mudded potato" into a well-behaved Pomefiore student. Vil knew Epel's name and had discussed his case with Rook right at Epel's first day, and this is why he treated Epel so harshly at the dinner table because his plan to turn Epel into his red poisoned apple had already begun. He was preparing Epel from the very beginning and was just expecting the big day to arrive, the day he'd need Epel to defeat his rival, Neige.

Remember that I said how Epel's been waiting for a chance to stand against Vil and how Chapter 5 would be his BEST opportunity to do this? Before we explain this point, let's have a review on how Vil has been effecting and changing him so far. During his first days in NRC, Epel was more comfortable with shouting, fighting and opposing to other students including Vil. He used to disagree until Vil slapped him but now in Chapter 5, he doesn't even say a word when Vil tells him to do something, he just silently obeys as tears fall from his eyes. He no longer fights back as much as he used to.

But right now, Vil's career, status and future is bound to Epel. Vil has been working harder than ever trying to turn him into the Red poisoned Apple he's been expecting him to become, and if Epel backs up or decides to ruin the show and stop letting Vil have control over him, that'll seriously make Vil explode. And if you think that Vil deserves to be hurt like this, I gotta say that he doesn't, he seriously doesn't deserve this after all he's been going through. Just imagine being on Gil's shoes, how would you feel about having the result of all that hard work and effort you've given into work for YEARS ruined like this? Look, we need to judge this situation nonetheless, even is you don't really like Vil it's important to realize the unfairness of this possible future to the story.

Epel now has the opportunity to BREAK Vil like no one has ever done, after all Vil has been going through to coach Epel, teach him manners, change his nature and prepare him for the VDC this would certainly be the worst thing that may happen to him and it'll make him mad, like really really mad. The Vil we've seen through the story so far was nothing more than Vil's normal calm self so we can't even imagine how it might be to see him mad. At this point he won't be bound to any manners or consderations, and keep this in mind: "We won't like it when Vil is evil, and we can't imagine how evil he can be,"

I'm honestly so excited and terrified at the same time to see what we'll get to see in the rest of the Pomefiore chapter, the atmosphere is so nerve-wrecking right now and I can't help but to pray that the rest of this story doesn't traumatize us as much as it can- “Yana please, have mercy on us”

[leirin]

I wanted to apologize that I haven't been able to update Midnight at the Cathedral for a long time (despite it just beginning to get into its first major arc), or stay on top of projects and make art actively in general. Even patreon updates have not always been on time. Keeping things up regularly is very difficult, and even though I moved out, matters like my significantly limited space present a lot of their own challenges. There is no room for my paintings anywhere besides under my bed, which doesn't incline me to paint, because I won't have anywhere to put it...

I am more settled in now than I was a month ago, but I have still basically been coasting by just trying to get what's required of me done every day, mostly in terms of my job and housework. In terms of projects, I've mainly spent my downtime working on revamping my website and designing new keychains, which I hope everyone will look forward to. The problem is I feel so phony when I can't immediately make good on longform projects, especially when I start so many different ones and the scope of a lot of the things I want to do is very big. I have several of these things planned out in detail, but get overwhelmed by how much there is to do with any one thing and that stifles progress. I get to feeling like people are looking at me like I won't ever actually get them done - only say I'm making something big and not ever finishing it.

Some of these expectations might really only be my own expectations for myself rather than what everyone else is thinking, but I still feel deeply frustrated about it in a way i can't exactly put into words. I don't want to be someone whose output stagnates, or who only achieves the bare minimum of their aspirations. It feels pathetic to say, but at this point with how much stress i'm under, I'd rather think of some of my projects as what I will work towards finishing throughout my life instead of as things that need to be finished within the next few years. The pressure is just too much and I don't see a point in personal creations operating on a schedule. They will suffer in the process if I do them that way.

So, both for my sake and for yours, here is something of a calendar of projects, ordered by size and scope (along with an estimation of progress), that I am 100% fully committing to completing, even if this means you may have to wait years to see any of them get finished:

Small: - Paperdoll sheets, stickers, and more paper-based goods. Many of these will be the kind you download digitally like the 2022 calendar. - Keychains. - Add more character profiles to the site - a lot more.

Medium: - Music video animatic. I'd estimate the completion on this to currently be around 65%. - More site-exclusive content. This includes picture stories, small games and interactive stories. The 2022 Calendar's December image teased two characters from one such interactive story I have conceptualized.

Big: - Finishing Midnight at the Cathedral. I estimate the final product to be somewhere around ~200 strips. The story outline is done being drafted. "Finished" also means doing chapter art. - Starting and finishing Magical Millennium. This is a webnovel about the life of Yona and it will have watercolor illustrations periodically. This is my most truly ambitious work and it will need a lot of time, because I want to be as satisfied with it as possible. In the planning stages. - Starting and finishing Gingham Skies. This is a GB Studio game regarding April, May, and other denizens of Cottonwheel. A short metroidvania-style game with rpg elements. This is in the conceptual stages; some graphical elements have been created.

[grimmseye]

Tandem

Read on Ao3 Here

Rating: Gen

Fandom: She-ra

Relationships: Hordak & Entrapta, Hordak/Entrapta (pre-relationship

Chapter Characters: Hordak, Entrapta

Chapter Tags/Warnings: This is just 1500+ words of Hordak’s thoughts about Entrapta, Pre-Season 2

(Disclaimer: remember that Hordak is both an imperial soldier and a cult survivor. This is also before he and Entrapta have really started building their relationship. His narration is told through that lens. )

— — — — — — — —

Years of sifting through the Horde’s administrative detritus had not made the job any more bearable for him. Even when Shadow Weaver had been keeping operations smooth, there was a certain portion of work that had to fall on his head, plans and projects needing review before they could be dismissed or approved of.

It was aggravating work, with one new exception. When he reached the file with telltale oil smudges on it, he could already feel the weight of his armor ease. There was a quickness to his movements as he flipped the file open — certainly not eagerness, but anticipation. For once, the weight of the file pleased him rather than had Hordak biting back groans.

Entrapta’s projects were the only things that brought him any mental stimulation these days. He took a cursory flip through the first packet, ears perking as he spotted the first draft of her blueprints. For once, she wasn’t offering new weapons to deploy, but rather a more espionage-focused design: something small that could scope out their targets before they sent any troops to seize new territory.

It was delicate work, and deeply time consuming. He settled in to read in more detail, making a note to himself to grant her a more direct line of contact to him. From now on, Entrapta’s projects should be sent through communication pads, to be vetted by the only person in the Fright Zone who could offer worthwhile criticism. Two pages in, he could tell notes from those who had reviewed it before were utterly worthless, all questions and conjecture with no understanding of what it was that they demanded. It was worthless to insist she work faster if there wasn’t a method to do so.

There was one, potentially, but not a single of the previous readers had mentioned it.

Hordak created a document on his communications pad and set a stylus to the screen. He got several lines into his writing before he had to stop, giving a faint sneer. His armor weighed his limbs, making his writing sloppy, and regardless...

He tapped his nails along the edge of his throne. As excellent as Entrapta’s reports were, she did not receive the same work with enthusiasm. Audio recordings were her preferred means of reference if he recalled correctly, remembering a delay in her work when she'd first began working on his bots. When he'd inquired about it, she'd mentioned something along the lines of struggling to digest the information. A vocal repetition and a recording of the instructions had been enough to get her back on schedule.

A moment’s deliberation sent to the security feeds, ensuring Entrapta was in her lab before he flicked on a monitor. Through his screen, it gave an overhead of Entrapta at her workbench, looking to be setting up to get to work. Good. He wouldn’t be able to interrupt her if she were doing something delicate.

He lifted his chin before announcing himself with a call of, “Princess Entrapta.”

She straightened up at once, head swiveling before she caught sight of the monitor, gawking for a moment before breaking into a smile and calling out, “Hello!”

She’d forgotten to bow. Again. He pushed a breath through his teeth, finding that the urge to demand proper respect felt oddly diluted for Entrapta. Whether or not she bowed had yet to compromise her work. Instead he skipped to the point: “I received your newest blueprints. The design is promising, if… inefficient.”

Entrapta clapped her hands together, looking excited before the words caught up with her. “Oh, I know. I’ll need to develop a prototype to get a real sense of what materials I’ll need and how much time it’ll take —” As she spoke, her words grew quick, almost snappish. “— But right now the estimated time per drone is much longer than I’d like, let alone viable for regular use.” Her hair frizzed out, bristling not unlike a cat’s. A clear sign of displeasure.

He lingered in that for a moment, then spoke. “I have a suggestion,” He said, appreciating how she perked up at once. It was gratifying to work with someone who knew what they were doing, and even understood what he was doing — at least as far as an upbringing on this planet allowed. “There is a synthetic compound we produce here in the Fright Zone that may work as a substitute for what you intend to use: adamantine. It should have the strength to support this device even in sheer pieces.”

She listened to him speak, interrupting only once to ask if she could run a recorder. Once again, he found satisfaction in that. He rarely had trouble with being listened to — with the exception of Entrapta, all knew to bow in his presence, to not speak while he was speaking. He had fear, and respect, and obedience, he had created a facsimile of the true Horde, successful in his emulation of Horde Prime. And yet, while Princess Entrapta did not fear him or even always obey him, she heard him in a way no other creature on Etheria had before. She challenged him, even, and as irritating as her insubordination could be, there was value in an alternative perspective.

Truly, she was impressive. Despite being a princess, Entrapta had taken well to life in the Fright Zone. Everything he knew of the Etherian princesses suggested inordinate wealth and luxury that would not lend itself to the Horde’s lifestyle. The primary kingdoms were disorganized and self-serving, lacking unity and loyalty to any but themselves, excising that which they found displeasing and then stuffing their castles with unneeded opulence. Here, closest thing to luxury Entrapta had been provided was her own room, something all ranking officers were granted. And yet he’d heard none of the anticipated whining, just a snippet of her voice from Imp about the brown nutrition bars being unfavorable in texture, even once cut into smaller cubes.

He wasn’t sure he could count her among the ranks of the princesses at all, and that was entirely favorable. Dryl had such organization and stability that even in their princess’ absence, the small nation ran like clockwork. It seemed almost entirely self-sufficient, and what necessary trade was denied to them after allying with the Horde could be supplemented.

Again, he berated himself for not considering Dryl’s value. It seemed that like the other nations of this planet, he’d vastly underestimated its value, and Princess Entrapta’s value most of all.

At some point, their conversation drifted off track, to the materials Dryl itself mined and then stories of what Entrapta had found beneath the earth, the First Ones’ tech she was so enamored with.

“Their power sources are more efficient than any Etherian technology I’ve seen,” Entrapta breathed, her chin cupped in her hands. “One crystal,” she framed her thumb and forefinger approximately an inch apart, “could have enough energy to fuel one of your Skiffs for a full day of flight, longer if you stop to let it replenish — because that’s what makes them so amazing, they don’t run out of power. I think eventually they might exhaust their capability for storage but I have yet to prove it, but in the meantime they seem endlessly capable of recharging their own energy, potentially by harnessing the latent magic in Etheria’s atmosphere.”

Sometimes it could become difficult to keep up with the pace of her voice, when her words began to run into one another and she took great gasps as she ran out of breath. And yet, the subject held his attention, ears perked forward with fascination.

“If we were able to collect such crystals…” Even that much energy would be insufficient for his portal machine, but to collect a great quantity —

“That’s the trouble,” Entrapta sighed, deflating. “I’ve rarely found these crystals intact.”

Disappointment weighed heavy in Hordak’s chest, then curled into anger. He’d hardly known about it for a moment, and already his hope —

He slammed his fist down on his throne. Hordak glanced at the clock, realizing half an hour had slid by without his noticing. This entire thing had been — “A waste of my time.”

“I disagree!” Entrapta’s rebuttal made his eyes narrow. Still, he knew to listen to his officers when they spoke — even to Shadow Weaver, who had to walk through elaborate metaphors and tangents before she ever got to the point. Though perhaps he should have listened less to her. The very premise of her arrival should have served a warning — seeking revenge did not sow loyalty.

Unlike Entrapta, who worked for her discoveries, for possibility rather than vengeance on the fools who had left her for dead.

So he did not silence her as she continued, “Your input was quite valuable! If you could have some of that material sent to my lab, I’ll be sure to attempt a prototype using it and see if it will be a good substitute.”

His ears relaxed from their flattened position. Hordak glanced away from the screen for just a moment, taking a breath to calm his frustrations. “Of course. I will see it is done.” He hesitated for just a moment before saying, “That is all. You are dismissed, Princess Entrapta.”

“Okay!” She smiled. “It was nice talking with you! We should do this again!”

His finger hesitated over a button. Hordak inclined his head, half of a nod before he ended the transmission.

The quiet that followed left him with a strange feeling: reluctance to continue his work, the want to shift it aside and perhaps pull up his records on Dryl to read more on what Entrapta had told him. Instead he took his pad, putting in two orders: one to deliver a shipment of adamantine to Entrapta’s lab, the other opening a direct line to her own communicator.

Just in case she wanted to consult his opinion once again.

[higuchimon]

[fanfic] Results of Evolution

One quick glance at his opening hand told Ryou that this wasn’t going to be an easy duel. He couldn’t be certain of what his opponent had, but just based off of his cards, it would not be easy to manage this.

He'd always been able to figure out his strategy just from the first hand.  What he saw here wasn't the strategy he was used to.  He could see the bare bones of it in the back of his mind, but it would require more time to see the whole thing.  Time he would have to buy for himself.

If he wanted to be honest, if he’d had this hand during any of his Academia day duels, he wouldn’t have cared. He would have known without a shadow of a doubt that nothing his opponent could do would be able to counter his tactics. Now he wasn’t so certain. Now he knew that there were other people out there who were every bit as good as he was – and in one case, at least one who was better.

But this was different. He was in the underground. How good could the duelists here be? He could manage this. He would make it back to the pros.

All he needed to do was win this duel.

So he got to business.  He set Call of the Living Dead face-down - he would use that to call back Cyber Dragon at some point.  He didn't doubt for a second that this opponent would find a way to destroy his monsters.  Better to be prepared for it. 

Then he activated Time Capsule, considering quickly which card to set into it.  Fusion was an option, or Power Bond.  Either one could get him Cyber End Dragon and once he had that, there wasn't anything that could stop him.  He’d won so many duels with Cyber End.

If he’d been able to summon that against Edo – and if he’d noticed Edo’s face-down card -

But the vaguest thought, something too thin to even be considered a strategy, but something else altogether, a mere whisper of an idea, offered a different solution.

Overload Fusion?  The problem with that one was that he couldn't use it to summon Cyber End Dragon - it was only capable of summoning a Dark-Attribute Machine-Type Monster.  He had very few of those in his deck.  In fact, the only one that he could think of was -

Chimeratech OverDragon.  It would work with the setting of Call of the Living Dead - he would need a Cyber Dragon on the field.  But he wasn't sure. 

His eyes flicked first to the far side of the field where Inukai awaited, then back to his hand.  He could feel the pressure of eyes on him, the spectators and those of Saruyama as well.  He had to make his decision in a heartbeat.

He slipped Overload Fusion out of his deck and set it aside for later.  He couldn't imagine what situation would lead to him calling that monster - he'd set it into his deck as a desperation move, but no one had ever pushed him to the point he'd been that desperate.  He wasn't sure if that could even happen now.

But then Inukai began to duel - and it was clear in the first few seconds that his deck had all but been designed to destroy a Machine-Type deck - his type of deck.  Was it by accident?  Or had Saruyama done this on purpose?

From what little he knew of his so-called 'manager', he wouldn't have been even remotely surprised.  He wondered what else he hadn't been told.  Would it be possible to even leave this place before the end of the duel? 

No.  Even if there was, he wasn't going to leave.  Not unless it was in victory.  He would do this.  Somehow.  Somehow. Then he would shake the dust of this place off of his feet and never think of it again. It had been a mistake to come here.

Future Fusion - he could summon Cyber Twin Dragon, and deal massive damage to his opponent.  Maybe even enough to defeat Inukai.  He did the math in a heartbeat – the first attack would destroy Clone Slime, and the second could possibly do a direct attack. Clone Slime did have an effect, though, so that would have to be considered. He wasn’t sure what that effect was, though.

So maybe he couldn’t win just yet. Regardless, Cyber Twin Dragon wouldn't be able to attack until the turn after it was summoned and that would, unfortunately, give Inukai time to counter it. 

But before Cyber Twin Dragon could even appear, Inukai countered it, negating the activation of Future Fusion.  As if that weren't enough of an insult, he offered Ryou a very sadistic choice - either summon a low-level Machine-Type or deal a thousand points of damage to Inukai.

It wasn't an easy decision.  If he takes the damage, he'll have six thousand still.  But if I can summon a monster, I have a better chance to cause real damage.  That went through his head in a matter of breaths.  He summoned out Proto Cyber Dragon, and sent it blasting towards Inukai's Clone Slime.

Only to learn there was a reason it was called Clone Slime - it switched out with Acid Slime, which was destroyed, and delivered eight hundred damage to Ryou himself. 

Only seven hundred left.  Ryou hadn't ever felt so cornered.  Even when he had fought against Juudai, he'd so easily been able to think his way out of any situation.  Now he felt as if nothing he did mattered, as if no move he could make would bring him a victory.  His head throbbed, though if it were from hunger or thirst - he'd not eaten before coming here - frustration - or from the fact Inukai so expertly and effortlessly countered him - he didn't know.  He wasn't sure if he cared.  He just wanted this to be over with.

I have three hundred life points,  he realized after the attack of Multiple Slime sent Proto Cyber Dragon to the graveyard.  It's going to be over soon.  If I draw one more Machine-Type monster...  He could get around it if he could summon something straight from the deck, but if he drew - then it was all over.

This would also be the turn where he got Overload Fusion into his hand.  This would be the last turn for him, one way or the other.  If he drew a monster, then something would destroy it.  If he didn't, then he -

Wait.  Something clicked.  A strategy - a plan.  A simple, clean, and clear thought, as he drew his card and saw what it was.

He had Power Bond in his hand.  Now he'd drawn Cybernetic Fusion Support.  He had three Cyber Dragons in his graveyard, so he could do this. 

He could summon Cyber End Dragon.  The risk remained; he had nothing that could counter it.  Inukai had seven thousand Life Points; Cyber End would have eight thousand.  Multiple Slime had fifteen hundred attack points.  Inukai would still survive it, unfortunately.  But it would give him time.  Time to finish this.  And he would at least have summoned Cyber End Dragon. He wouldn’t be so damned frustrated.

Or at least that was his hope, that died a brutal death a breath later when Inukai activated Slime Hole.  Now he had fifteen thousand life points, and Ryou had only a hundred and fifty.

His gaze fell on the card he'd most recently added to his hand - Overload Fusion.  He knew the monster that he could summon - needed to summon.  Only this monster would give him victory.  Nothing else could do it.

And he wanted that victory.  After all this time, he admitted it to himself.  Respecting his opponent didn't mean a thing to him anymore.  How could it, when his opponent didn't respect him, went out of his way to wreck every plan that Ryou made, and mocked him every step of the way?  Even Edo had been better than this. 

Respect could die a horrible, painful death.  What he wanted was victory, and if that meant he would rip it away from Inukai then he would do so. 

I think the deck wanted me to do this from the beginning.  Here was Call of the Living Dead.  There had been Time Capsule, so that he could get Overload Fusion into his hand at just the right moment.  He knew that he'd never had the same talent for hearing spirits that Juudai had, but perhaps it didn't matter now.  He had something better. 

He had victory. 

He'd heard what Saruyama kept on calling him throughout this duel.  Hell Kaiser.  He liked the sound of that.  This duel - this underground - it was a place of Hell, without a doubt.  A place that he would master and control.  This wouldn't be his last duel here, not by a long shot.

But it would be Inukai's.  And it would be the last duel for anyone who dared to face him.

Hell Kaiser unleashed his full power.  And knew that it wasn't enough.  It would never be enough.  But he enjoyed seeing his opponent fall, and knowing it was the beginning of his new life.

The End

Notes: Strictly speaking, Overload Fusion in the anime probably could be used to summon Cyber End. But I thought it was more fitting to use the real effect. Ryou's duel against Inukai is one of the most pivotal of his career, and quite frankly, Saruyama had him read like a book. All that Ryou did before this was, for the most part, summon Cyber End and blast. He needed to learn actual tactics. Like Saruyama said, if he couldn't summon Cyber End, then he never knew what to do, and no one ever tried to stop him, so he wasn't learning or growing. But Hell Kaiser changed all of that.

[petri808]

Halloween games prompt chosen by @dragonlovesstars for @thenaluarchive Falling for You event. Focusing on Nalu only in this story. I had an idea going in, sorry but yeah... the characters totally hijacked this story and idk what happened 😅

Most of the Fairytail guild celebrated Halloween like they did most holidays... or really most normal days, by drinking and partying. But that never stopped Mira from setting up games just in case some of the members were willing to play. The boozers got a game of Trick or Treat where they had to pick from shot concoctions that could be a nice treat or a yucky trick. Younger members were off playing spooky themed charades, and surprisingly a few chose trivia.

As for Natsu and gang, they signed up for a special game called Scary Treasure Hunt which Mira promised would garner them the best treasure prize in all of Fiore! She paired them in twos, and sent them off into Magnolia to search for this mysterious treasure with only a clue to the first location. All in all, five teams were playing for the ‘prize,’ and not so surprisingly, they were paired in couples. With any type of challenge, Natsu was pumped up and ready to play! So, as soon as Mira said ‘go,’ he was dragging Lucy out the door because there was no way Gray was winning the prize before him!

“Slow down Natsu!” Lucy jerks her partner to a halt. “We haven’t even read the clue yet!”

“Oh, right!” He laughs. “So what does it say?”

Lucy holds out the card and reads out loud. “Instructions. Follow the clues to each location where you’ll be given a riddle and a clue to the next destination. I glide over water and rock to and fro. The canals I may travel, but the docks are my home.”

“What?” Natsu questions. “A boat? That’s not a destination.”

“The answer is right in the clue Natsu,” Lucy rolls her eyes. “The first location is the docks where they tie up the boats.”

“Ohhhh!” He grabs her hand, “well let’s go! Time’s ticking!”

When they reach the tiny Magnolia harbor, the pair search around at each boat looking for their next clue. There were only a few, and most were the smaller boats used to navigate the water channels. Of course, when they did find it, Lucy had to climb aboard to grab the scroll.

“Read it, read it!” Natsu bounces excitedly.

“First your riddle. Salamander, Salamander! The crowd chants with spellbound delight. You’ve come to a crossroad, do you choose left or right?”

“I— don’t get it,” Natsu scratches his head. “Is it talking about me? What the hell is the crossroads?”

“Huh?” Lucy frowns too. “I don’t get it either.”

“Is that all?”

“No, um,” she reads further. “Over the hill and through the lane, to strawberry street we go. Reach for the stars. Hmm, maybe my apartment is the next step?”

“Or the roof?”

“Could be? I guess it’s worth a shot.”

At Lucy’s apartment building, they took the access stairs to the rooftop, but at first, they don’t see anything at all. It wasn’t exactly a big roof to search, yet they saw no scroll. Frustrated, Lucy walked over to the edge facing the street below and rests her arms. Where else on Strawberry street would Mira have sent them if not her apartment? Though, so far, none of this made much sense to her. She looked down at the ground when something stuck to the wall grabbed her attention. “Found it! But I can’t reach it.”

Natsu looks over the edge and realizes he couldn’t reach the scroll either. So, he hopped off the roof, grabbing it as he falls, and landed on the street below. Lucy raced down to meet him.

“Good catch!” She congratulated him. He handed her the scroll and she reads it. “First your riddle. Through a leap, you know no bounds, nor fright of night, just solid ground. Okay this is seriously confusing,” Lucy grumbled, but continued on. “The dead slumber in their beds. We find solace in their peace.”

“I’m gonna guess the cemetery.” Natsu states.

“I agree.”

This really was turning into a hunt, though Lucy was starting to wonder what it meant. All of these locations and clues seemed tied together somewhat, revolving around their lives. Did Mira make it that way so it would be easier? By the time they reached the cemetery, she was no closer to figuring anything out. Lucy shivered at the idea of walking around a cemetery at night. It was eerie, maneuvering around the grave stones, searching aimlessly through the rows for the next scroll. This graveyard had no ties to either of them personally, but just being here made Lucy think about her parents.

After several minutes of searching, they finally found the scroll that was left on top of a headstone. Lucy wrapped her arms around herself tightly, a bit chilled both physically and emotionally.

Natsu comes up from behind Lucy and reaches around to rub her arms to warm her. “You okay?”

“Yeah, must be the wind,” she blamed, but his added heat helped to send those chills away. Lucy opened the scroll. “First your riddle. In the dark, we seek the light, and when we find it, we hold on tight for it will always guide the way home. That’s it,” Lucy turns it over and back, “there isn’t a clue.”

“Could ‘home’ be the clue?” Natsu asks.

“Yeah, but which home? Mine? Yours? Fairytail?”

“Well, she sent us to yours once already, and she probably wouldn’t have us go back to the guild unless we found the treasure, so I’m gonna guess my house.”

Lucy giggles. “That’s pretty smart thinking.”

“I have my moments.” He shrugs.

As they walk back to Natsu’s cottage, it was becoming clear to both of them that this wasn’t really a scary treasure hunt, unless you count putting a scroll in a boat for a slayer or being sent to a creepy cemetery. No, Mira designed this specifically for them to figure out something, but what that was still eluded them.

Once they arrive at Natsu’s cottage, they go inside and start looking around. Again, just like on Lucy’s rooftop, it wasn’t quickly noticed. They search the place from top to bottom and still nothing. Where was it?! Natsu grabs a blanket off the couch to check under it, but drops it again when nothing is found. “Okay,” he laments, “maybe I was wrong and she meant the guildhall.”

“Maybe not...”

He looked in Lucy’s direction, who was staring at his wall of mementoes. And there, pinned up, is the unrolled scroll. “What does it say?” He questioned.

“Your final riddle. They are the ones we run to. Hold us close when we are afraid, soothe us in our melancholy. Laugh with us, cry with us. Protect, nurture, and push us to be better. They are our greatest treasure yet our most feared acceptance. What am I?”

“That’s not a riddle.”

“Well, not exactly... but it has an answer.” Lucy turned around to face him. “It was all about our journey here,” she smiled with moisture building in her eyes. “The day we met, the choice to go with you. That leap of faith cause I knew you’d catch me. You being there for me over and over again. It’s saying you are my greatest treasure.”

“I can understand that cause I always thought you were a treasure. But I don’t understand m the fear part or the ‘what am I’ question.”

“Oh,” Lucy blushed. “I-It’s describing a soulmate because it could be scary to realize when you’ve found yours.” It sure as hell was for her.

Silence gripped the room as Natsu’s face registered a blank stare. Lucy couldn’t tell what he was thinking, and frankly the longer he stayed that way, the more nervous she became. Was he not understanding her? What if he did understand her?! This is exactly the fear factor she had long tried to avoid! “Are you still confused?” She asked hesitantly.

“So... the answer is you’re my soulmate?”

“I guess, yeah you could say that.” Again he just stares and she could almost see the gears turning in his head as he processed her words. “Natsu?”

“Like Lucy and Natsu in Edolas? Or Nack and Lucia in Giltina?”

“Yeah...”

His brows furrowed, then suddenly a grin bursts free. “I got it! Making an egg is our greatest treasure!”

Lucy slaps her forehead. “Oh my Mavis! For the last time, humans don’t come from eggs, and even if we did, y-you don’t even know what it takes to make one.”

“Macao and Gildarts already told me what to do, but I’m still confused. Maybe you could show me?”

“W-what?!” She crisscrossed her arms over her chest.

“But the treasure?!”

“Natsu I’m not having sex with you to win a challenge!”

He walked over unphased and put his hands on her shoulders. “I don’t care about a challenge. I want our treasure.” He smiled wide. “Wouldn’t that be the best Halloween treat ever? I know you don’t think I understand, and I don’t about some of this, but what I do know, is after seeing Nasha, I just thought it would be great to have one of our own.”

“Natsu,” Lucy sighed, “its not right to have kids unless we both love each other.”

“You don’t love me?”

“I-I didn’t say that...”

“Then we agree!” He grins, “please Lucy, let’s make our own hoard of treasures!”

“Whoa! Whoa! Slow down Natsu! W-we just established how we feel but it’s another thing t-to jump into t-that, and we haven’t even kissed yet!”

“Pfft, well that’s easy enough,” he swooped in and placed a rough, sloppy kiss on her lips. “We’re at the crossroads Lucy. Is it trick or treat?”

Lucy was done, her mind was fried and her heart was beating so hard she felt woozy. None of this was how she’d dreamed it would happen, but then again just like their counterparts, maybe the spur of the moment was more their style anyway.

Lucy takes a deep breath. “Treat.”

[rapha-reads]

Loaded March - we're still at it - a reaction

Part 4 - The Jester

He knew that Kay had no family, that he felt just as much an outcast as Merlin, that he clung to Excalibur because he had no one else, and that Excalibur would never let either one of them go.

Kay is my baby and I will kill for him. I'm impatiently waiting for the Kay & Will show. And Bran and Kathy.

------

In the quiet that followed the first video, Merlin wondered if he should have tried harder to tell Arthur. But what would Arthur have done then? His only encounter with magic had been bad, and Merlin didn't want Arthur to think that having magic automatically made someone evil. He'd said as much when watching the movies.

Listen. Listen. I'm a sucker for Magic Reveals. I've read them all. And if there's one thing I know, it's that the longer Merlin waits to tell Arthur, the harshest the consequences are. Yes, Arthur gets his head on straight after a while, mostly (there are the MR that do go very badly, but let's focus on the ones where they stay strong together). But a certain amount of time of lies and secrets especially when the opportunity arises to speak... Sours things. I'm just saying. I love Magic Reveal.

------

"Not me," Kay said suddenly, standing up slowly, shaking his head. Merlin watched him, a little surprised, because Kay was the last one who would step up first. He was usually last, after he'd analyzed everything nearly as thoroughly as Arthur. Kay's cheeks were flushed now, aware that he had everyone's attention on him, and he shrugged. "You lot know I bounced foster homes until I hit sixteen."

SHUT UP I LOVE KAY OKAY.

------

They'd gone a step further. Now they were trusting each other with the impossible, with the unknown, with a challenge that was going to push them above and beyond anything they had ever done before. Arthur never had any doubt that his men were up to the task. It was something else, however, to watch them come to the realization that they were up to that task.

Okay, I'm anti-military by principle, but you offer me the chance to be part of Team Excalibur, I'm jumping on it. IF I was fit and prone to fire arms and patriotic. But yeah, I wanna join the team. That's the true force of LM imo, the depth of the characters and the strength of their bond.

------

Gilli looked embarrassed. "I'm having trouble with the language, sir. The programming. I can't get to the source code to upgrade it with the latest."

Ah, shit. The idiot's here. Oooh, this is going to be frustrating. I just don't like Gilli.

------

"Magic." He took Arthur's arm and they continued to walk. "The sort of magic that hasn't been seen on the British Isles since the time of King Arthur, the Knights of the Round Table, and Merlin the Magician."

There's literally two guys right now in position of power, one a true leader, the other full of secrets and incomprehensibly powerful, with those exact names, thrown together and already bonded. WHY IS NO ONE COMMENTING ON THAT COINCIDENCE. What? Yes, I know I'm foreshadowing, I've been sitting on that pesky little detail since part 1. HIS NAME IS LITERALLY ARTHUR PENDRAGON AND HE'S DESCENDED FROM OLD MONEY AND OLD ROYALTY. AND MERLIN IS WELSH AND PAGAN. Ffs why is no one even making a joke. Gaaaaah, frustrating.

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The first was to subdue Trickler inside the club -- likely the easiest approach since most of Trickler's people would be outside, or hampered by the crowds, but then again, the crowds would get in the way of Team Excalibur, too. The second option was to lure Trickler outside of the club, and have it out with his people in the open.

Ah. I'm remembering the plan. I'm remembering why The Jester is my least favourite part of it all... Why I tend to start my usual re-readings with part 5 or 6. Hang on to something, it's going to get bumpy.

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The closet was stocked with expensive designer clothing in his size, but someone, somewhere, had failed the fashion coordination course, because that jacket was a dark navy blue, and they did not go with the Armani charcoal trousers.

Why are you such a drama queen, Arthur.

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Yeaaaah, still not liking the plan to grab Trickler. I just don't like it when Merlin is put in the position of the vulnerable, defenseless, submissive one, when he's everything but all of that. That's actually part of the only two problems I have with LM as a whole, one being the sometimes misogynistic language used, the other being the slight dom/sub vibes of Merlin and Arthur. Or I might be remembering their dynamic wrong. Let's see how it goes on.

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Arthur hated Merlin's deference, the way the fight had gone out of him, the absolute, complete subservience that came without so much as a sarcastic yes, sire, angry you bloody pillock or rude gesture. It was an act, though. He knew it was.

Yes, thank you, I hate it too. But damn if it isn't effective. The boys have all of these dumbs eating out of their hands.

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For a brief moment, very brief, Arthur considered being on the receiving end of Merlin's rough treatment, to give in to him, and he found that it was a situation he wouldn't entirely mind being in so long as it was Merlin. He wouldn't do it for anyone else but him.

Okay, I concede, they're on equal footing. I got frustrated earlier.

The whole time Merlin was being dragged by Trickler and not using his magic to defend himself and his team, I wanted to scream.

------

Oof, part 4 got long! And it's just the beginning. Stay tuned for part 5!

Part 3b | Part 4 | Part 5

[parachutingkitten]

Season 5 Analysis

STANDARD DISCLAIMER: I am going to be applying the concept of criticism to a TV show you presumably love and adore as much as I do. If you do not want your idea that the show is immaculate to be challenged, I would not advise reading past this point.

Additional Disclaimer: This includes criticism of Nya’s arc, so if you’re the type of person to get catty about this subject, turn back now.

Mood for this season: It’s spoopy time.

You don’t need to, but if you are interested, and haven’t seen my analysis of past seasons, you can find those here:

Pilot - Season 1 - Season 2 - Season 3 - Season 4

You can also find all of these, and future installments, on my blog using the tag #analysis 

Hey everyone! I’m still doing these things! Let’s see, when was my last one? Over two years ago...? Yikes, I owe y’all an apology. I really didn’t mean to put these off that long. Anyway, get ready to hate me, cuz although (for the most part) this seems to be the fandom favorite season… I think it’s overhyped. I know, don’t kill me. I’ll explain myself. I don’t think it’s bad or anything, it’s very well structured, but I definitely wouldn’t rank it among my favorites. First, for a little context, I am making a one second of every ninjago episode video right now, so I’ve been binging the series and all it’s shorts back to back, so I think I’ll have a bit more to say about connective tissue between seasons, and hopefully you guys can look forward to more of these analyses between now and the new year when I’m releasing that video. I’m also officially a film major now so… sorry if I come of as extra pretentious or get too deep. Anyway, let’s jump into the thick of it, shall we? 

Plot

This is probably the area I have the fewest number of complaints about. This season has a breakneck pace and it keeps everyone busy. I think that’s why people like it. Everyone’s favorite has something to do. Which brings me to the question… which ninja’s season is this? Lloyd is on a lot of the promotional stuff, but he’s possessed and out of the picture for over half the season, so that can’t be right. Cole turns into a ghost, and the season is a ghost season, but that can’t be right cuz I don’t know that I’ve ever heard anyone claim it was his. Nya reaches her true potential, maybe it’s hers? Well, she does have a large b-plot, but she is consistently not a part of the a-plot. Kai has a whole thing with being protective of Lloyd, he has his fear of water, maybe it’s just another Kai season? Thing is, it’s no one’s. It is an ensemble season, and I think that’s a healthy thing for ninjago to keep doing. The more we label certain seasons for certain ninja, the more complaining we’ll get about who’s turn it is for screen time that we’ll miss out on telling a good story. Also, If the season is focused on a ninja you don’t like, you are less likely to like the season (see my next analysis for that can of worms). Again, this season tells it’s story really well. Morro directly ties into the ending of last season, and Nya’s getting water powers was foreshadowed the season before. That’s some cool connective tissue to start. The opening episode establishes the three different things the ninja will be looking for, and for once they’re actual tools instead of a series of weapons, blades, masks, whatever. I like that. Jay has some really good humor, Zane has his speech changes, Kai has his irrational fears and protective instincts, Cole has his ghost angst, Lloyd has to deal with his father’s passing, Nya is a new water ninja, Wu has a shop to run and a student to reconnect with, even Ronin has an arc about developing morals and gaining friends. There’s the mystery about how to deal with the ghosts, what the rules are, there’s the leader subplot, the ninja’s money situation, and lore of the different realms, they even worked in Skylor and Borg, there’s a lot of cool stuff going on. This is a tightly woven script that manages to include a lot of new concepts that you get pretty quick. I don’t feel like there’s even that much fat to cut. The opening is a little slow and strange, and the cloud kingdom episode feels a little unnecessary, but I do like the idea of visiting a different realm early in the season so the audience isn’t caught off guard in the climax. Again, the plot all works for me, it’s the other stuff I find myself pretty meh on.

Characters

Ronin

I’m pretty sure Ronin is the only new (non villain) character introduced. I like him a lot. Ninjago needed a true wildcard to shake things up and be unpredictable. I also think he’s pretty nicely woven into the action of the plot. I think his introduction is a bit strange. Like, the ninja already know him, but we’ve never seen him before? Just the way they talk about him sounds like they’re quickly recapping who this guy is for those who missed previous episodes. It’s fine if the ninja already know him but either 1) Introduce or foreshadow him a season earlier or 2) Introduce their dynamic to the audience before it becomes plot relevant. Maybe the ninja are grumbling about him being a nuisance while tea shenanigans are going on or something. Or maybe you have a scene of him stealing the scroll and making snarky remarks about the ninja while he does it. Idk. just something so his sudden plot relevance isn’t out of nowhere. Also, I don’t hate his and Nya’s dynamic, but I know a lot of people love it, and I’m just not totally here for it. Is he supposed to be a father figure for her? Mentor? Frienemy? Just plain friend? (love interest???) it’s not super clear and I could have used some clarification. I also like his use and tie to the next season, so overall, well integrated character.

Nya

I’m adding in Nya here cuz she goes through a major character change, and how she’s handled is one of the things that rubs me the wrong way about the season. A lot of people will probably disagree and/or hate me for this section of the analysis so… here we go! The thing she has to get past to reach her true potential is fear of failure (supposedly) and the solution to that is to just… not care as much? First of all, I know this isn’t supper important, but the fun thing about the ninjago elements is that every elemental master matched up personality wise with their element. Jay is the energetic master of lightning, Kai is the hothead master of fire, Zane is the calm and calculating master of ice, Cole is the strong and dependable master of earth, Lloyd is the literal child master of energy. This especially goes for all the new season 4 masters. So what qualities are often associated with water personalities? Well, serenity, control, flexibility, elegance, patience… calm. You know, like a Zane type character (the element directly adjacent to hers). These are things that Nya isn’t - or at the very least don’t define her. (there’s also something to be said about water and its ties to more feminine qualities, which Nya has been actively shown to reject, but I won’t go into that rant here.) She was designed as the fire master’s sister, and when you try to fit a fire personality into a water shaped character mold… it doesn’t exactly mesh well. It doesn’t make sense. But, like I said, whatever. Maybe that’s the point? Like she has to change her personality to be more in tune with water? Sure. But let’s talk about this fear of failure thing. Because that’s the stated thing that dialogue tells us she needs to overcome. But when has Nya ever been afraid of failure? Fear of failure means avoiding doing something because of fear. Nya is ridiculously persistent, always has been (you know, fire personality). She tries training when no one tells her to, she makes her own alter ego to try and be a hero and save the people who would constantly tell her she wasn’t ready. Wu says she only wants things that come easy, but that’s never been her character before now, she has carried the team with her tech, research, and covert ops that no one forced her to do, all things which are not easy. Fear of failure is usually characterized by what if questions. If Nya is so afraid of failure, why don’t we hear her saying stuff like “but what if I’m not strong enough, what if I can’t save them in time, or worse, what if I lose control of my power and end up hurting people?” Cole shows much more of a fear of failure this season surrounding his insecurity about being a ghost. He wants to sit out from missions because he’s not sure he’ll be able to do it - he’s afraid of failure. But whatever, the writing isn’t clear at expressing her true setbacks, but she does display a real problem that a lot of people have and I think could have been well done if set up correctly. She shows an undying persistence that gets her too close, and makes her increasingly incapable. She lets her frustration hinder her progress (again, fire personality trait), and I think that’s interesting because I don’t think ninjago has done this character arc yet. The supposed solution to this problem is that she just needs to… care less? And yes, I kind of see where they were going with this, we sometimes cloud our natural potential by thinking about it too much, but saying “you need to stop caring” is the absolute wrong way to word it. Caring is not her problem, the problem is her control over the emotions that come from her caring. Caring is a good thing, and teaching kids that if you’re ambivalent about your problems, they’ll go away is not a good message. What she needs to do is take a step back. She needs to take a break, stop to think, and look at the big picture instead of hyper focusing on the roadblock directly in front of her. The usual and much better wording of the moral I think they were going for is “stop overthinking things”. Teaching kids to look at a problem from a different angle and give themselves time to cool down is a great thing. And just think of it, in the climax she could have this ah-ha moment where she steps back and looks at the bigger picture - the whole town, surrounded by the ocean - and gets the idea to sink the preeminent into the water, you could even easily tie that back into the bucket exercise, and that’s what triggers her true potential rather than the current… I’m honestly not sure what. Random flashbacks and the end of the season approaching quickly. Alternatively, you could tie it more directly into samurai x, and make her struggle with letting go of the past and allowing yourself to give up something good in your life to progress to something better. Anyway, I don’t think this was a bad decision long term, she needed to be solidified on the team as a full fledged ninja, I just think this season doesn’t handle the transition that well. Anyway, whatever, I’ll be waiting for your hate comments in the notes.

Romance

Um… there’s none this season? Like there’s a few Wusako moments that are still as weird as they were in season 2, but they’re really not prevalent. There’s also the Jay seeing the future thing which has some weird implications next season (again, some interesting connective tissue between seasons), but that’s about it. Maybe that’s part of why I don’t love this season? Like where’s the pixane? Lol, I’m kidding. But maybe that’s why a lot of people do like it. If you don’t like the canon ships… this is a nice little safe haven for you. Rare for a majority of the series.

Villains

So Morro is a good idea… in theory. I know he’s the fandom’s favorite edgy boy, but idk I think the brand of angsty teen they ended up with was more of an angsty 13 year old than 17 year old. His voice is really grating and I always want to yell at him to just… go get some cough drops. Stop throat screaming, use your diaphragm man! Also, everyone goes on about his last minute redemption, but as far as season 5 goes, he has like half a second of a change of heart. Literally, when Wu comes over and he’s drowning, he’s still being a persistent little idiot like “you never cared about me nooooo!” and it’s only at the last possible second that gives him the crystal, and even that he does it kind of saltily. The preeminent is pretty cool, I like her concept, her design, all that. All the other ghosts are fine I guess. Nothing super memorable out of them, although their aesthetic, especially when there’s a bunch of them swarming around is pretty cool. One last thing was I never understood how Morro “becoming the green ninja” worked and what exactly it was that… did for him? Like he didn’t actually get the power of energy, right? I don’t remember him using it. Did just him defeating Lloyd make him the green ninja? How does that transfer work? And why did he need it to take over the world or realms or whatever? Like I get that it’s supposed to give him more power and what not but idk, it wasn’t super clear. That’s a minor thing though.

Climax

Pretty cool. I like the ATMOSPHERE. Green light is a hard thing to use and justify correctly, but it works really well here, especially with the dark kinda gray blue sky complimenting it. When the preeminent starts walking into the ocean, it’s genuinely terrifying, but you understand exactly how it works and why she’s strong enough to do it. Nya’s true potential is again a little out of left field and could have had some better motivation put behind it. Like what is it Nya learned in that instant? To not be afraid to protect people? She’s… been doing that. Idk. I’ve hit on that enough for now. Overall, there was good variety. I like the green ninja fake out, I like the realm hopping, I even like the little Garmadon visit and Lloyd getting the robe. I feel like we didn’t need a part one and two, you could have had different titles. I mean come on. But hey, now we know, if Pix had only been there, the whole climax would have been wrapped up in like 10 minutes apparently. Pix for the win.

Humor

Really good. Like I’m surprised how much I laughed. Jay wasn’t annoying humor, it was good stuff, there were some good running gags, there’s a solid fourth wall joke about who the lead ninja is at the beginning of the season. Overall, I am pretty impressed. My favorite joke was perhaps the bit where Jay is sarcastically positive, the voice acting is just really solid. Then again, there’s also the whole Borg scene where he roasts half the ninja, that’s solid stuff right there. There’s just some really solid character interaction this season and the humor feels a lot more natural and less forced.

Drama

Okay, we’ve got a lot this season. Y’all know how I feel about Nya’s arc by now. It does not work for me. Ronin’s relationship with her is alright, but kind of comes out of nowhere. Ronin’s solo plot about kinda working for the ghosts works. Cole’s ghost angst works for the most part, although I wish he would have actually skipped a mission and then gone in to help save his friends once they can’t do it without him. That was probably the most solid drama of the season. The other main thing we have this season is Kai’s whole… fear/protective streak. This also doesn’t really work for me. Like, I get that Lloyd and Kai are friends and stuff, like his whole true potential was centered around Lloyd. But like, why does it have to be framed so weirdly? Sometimes in trying to make it seem like Kai is protective of him, it seems like the other ninja just like… don’t care about him? Not all the time, but there are some weird vibes. Also, it doesn’t really go anywhere. No one learns anything about themselves from this subplot, nothing comes of it, there isn’t really a payoff. Also, Kai has yet another irrational fear, this time of water, which really comes right the hell out of nowhere. They try to explain it away like “Oh, Kai feels powerless and so water can get to him” but like… what? That’s the exact situation he was in at the end of season 2 and he seemed perfectly content to literally swim across the ocean (which um… what do you mean the sworn protector of ninjago can’t swim?). Where is this coming from?! Again, it doesn’t really go anywhere, there’s not a point where he has to learn to confront it or he grows because of it. It’s just pointless stuff added cuz the writers like giving Kai vague trails to try and develop him. The cloud kingdom is kinda cool. That last minute twist about them working with Morro is… stupid and unnecessary though. 

Spotlight Episode

I really like the Spinjitzu master tomb episode. Some cool riddles, I like the first two rooms a lot. I do think the third room is a bit strange. Like, the clue was “don’t look ahead” and the solution was to look beneath them, which is the exact same solution as the previous room. Like, you already have magic ice that shows the future, why not play into that? Don’t look ahead could maybe mean don’t look to the future, the opposite of that being the past. Maybe they have to draw on their past adventures to solve it somehow? Learning from the past is a good lesson, right? But overall, I really like it. Some real solid humor this episode. This episode has the sarcastic Jay optimism, Kai totally stalling for time, Zane dealing a pretty sick burn on Cole, just a lot of fun stuff. I like it. It just has great energy and nothing feels like it’s drawn out for too long.

Misc

The aesthetic this season… can be inconsistent, but the main ghost vibe displayed in the opening theme is really solid and I really like it

Speaking of the opening, Ghost wip is great and the opening in on par with last season’s (which is my fav) for sure

Ice age references… okay.

Chima references…. OKAY...

Okay, but like Deepstone can… kill ghosts? Or not? Is it just something ghosts can touch? It’s supposed to be like water in weapon form, right? Like that’s how I understood it when they first introduced it. Wouldn’t the deepstone bars kill Ghoultar then? And then like, Cole’s bike is made of deepstone. He uses it as a weapon. Wouldn’t it kill him? It kills other ghosts when they touch it. How… how does it work?! I need answers!!!

The captain of the steam boat says they’re going as fast as possible, but later Ronin comes in and cranks it up like twice as fast… that always bothered me like, why would he lie about that? Who is this captain and why is he so chill about everyone’s lives?! And then later Wu cranks it up yet again, like the ship had slowed down to it’s previous speed. What the hell is happening with the controls of this ship???

So pissed that the nasty CGI nightmare cloud monster that chases the ninja is named Nimbus. Totally forgot about that. I have an OC with a cat named Nimbus… I promise, there is not going to be a stupid twist bout the cat being the monster thing in Mists of Fate. That would be very stupid.

I was all excited that season 13 gave us minecart chases, but I totally forgot season 5 gave us one first. I really like the return to the caves of despair btw, good reuse of a known location.

How many times this season did we do the: 

Kai: Oh, I don’t like water, I can’t do it uwu  Cole: ...You serious?

Thanks for reading! And if you got this far… I don’t know. I would love to hear your thoughts if you have any! These are just my opinions, so don’t think too much of it if you disagree.

-Kitten

[bltngames]

Review: Hotshot Racing

(For this review, Hotshot Racing was played on the Nintendo Switch and the Personal Computer)

If you were to ask me what the most important features of a racing game are, somewhere near the top of the list would be artificial intelligence. Racing games are one of those genres, like fighting games or shooters, where simulating how real human people play the game is vital to the experience. They are inherently multiplayer concepts, even if you’re playing by yourself.

Focus on multiplayer artificial intelligence has waned over the last 15 years. With the rise of the premium multiplayer subscription, it’s more important than ever before to drive players to play matches with flesh-and-blood human beings online. Thus, advancements in “bot” (simulated human player) development hasn’t just slowed down, but in some cases actively regressed. Epic Games, once home to some of the smartest, most robust first person shooter bots in Unreal Tournament, now features bots in their popular Fortnite Battle Royale that fumble around the map with low attention spans and aim like they're blindfolded.

Humans are hard to simulate. The basic functions of a player are easy to emulate -- navigation, aiming, and so on, but it’s the organic logic underneath that proves to be the primary challenge. Humans have lapses in judgement. Humans make mistakes. Mistakes compound on other mistakes. A person wins or loses a given game because of a constantly cascading sequence of decisions, all feeding in to and out of themselves. Whether they realize it or not, every individual person is their own infinite web of chaos. For a computer, which operates in a binary of either perfect success or total failure, no amount of processing power can make for an accurate duplication.

As such, artificial intelligence has to “cheat.” Flaws are introduced into the simulation in order to throw the player a bone. Intelligence almost doesn’t even enter the equation; instead, it’s more about developing a bot that the player simply believes is human, like some kind of a magic trick. It’s a tight balancing act -- if the bot is too good, it looks like an unfeeling terminator. On the opposite, well… compare my Fortnite example up above. There’s a sweet spot that must be hit: smart, but not too smart. Dumb, but not too dumb. It’s easier said than done.

Racing games are a special category here. On top of simulating a human, they must also simulate an automobile, with all of its physical interactions. Tire friction, suspension bounce, weight distribution, and horsepower efficiency just to start. I’d argue that this lends to a much greater tendency for natural mistakes to occur, as the two different simulations (vehicle and player) interact and bounce off of each other. This has led to racing games relying on a handicap known as “rubberbanding.” Essentially, if the player is doing a little too well, the game will start giving tiny advantages to the computer-controlled racer. A boost to top speed, a reduction in weight to improve handling, whatever it takes to ensure the player does not remain unchallenged for very long.

Which finally, at long last, brings us to Hotshot Racing. Developed by Lucky Mountain Games, with assistance by Sumo Digital, it attempts to capitalize on the growing faux-retro-3D trend. It promises visuals to remind you of Sega’s Virtua Racing or Namco’s Ridge Racer, but with decidedly modern vehicle physics and a bit more content than any of those old games could muster.

It honestly makes for a weird first impression. This is a retro-looking game that does not feel like any retro racing game I’ve ever played. Some would undoubtedly argue that’s for the better; like with most sports games, there’s this sense that more simulation is always better. Even modern “arcade” racers like Need for Speed or Wreckfest run pretty robust physics simulations under their hoods, even if they do not necessarily adhere to the rules of reality. But I’ve honestly never seen a problem with this -- I will readily go back to something like Daytona USA or even Stunt Race FX on the Super Nintendo, and never feel especially bothered by their primitive simulations. To me, racing is often more about the sense of speed, how well the controls respond, and the track design than any notion of feeling “realistic.”

That’s not to say it’s really a negative that cars in Hotshot Racing have some vague facsimile of modern weight and “realism” applied to their driving physics, I guess. It’s just something that takes a little bit of getting used to, because seeing these cars drift and sway like the racing games of today is a little anachronistic to the era being called back to. If you still burn a candle for the eventual release of the long-lost Kickstarter darling “90’s Arcade Racer,” know that this isn’t that game. I think it’s fair to say it’s trying to scratch a similar itch, but it’s doing so in a very different way.

One of the more important things Hotshot Racing brings to the table is a roster of personalities to race as and against. When you think of characters in a racing game, your mind probably more naturally gravitates towards something like Mario Kart or some other similarly kid-friendly cartoon racing franchise. For most "serious" racing games, your opponents are unknowable, faceless competitors, but Hotshot gives them voices and identities. Every character in the game has a garage of four cars unique to them, in addition to having their own story to tell. It’s nothing especially deep; most plot manifests in a single cutscene played at the end of a given grand prix, sort of like what you'd get for finishing arcade mode in a game like Street Fighter 2. It’s just a snippet, a taste of what motivated these people and what they’re going to do after winning, but it’s enough.

It goes back to what I said earlier, and how it’s important for the player to believe the artificial intelligence is more than just a computer. Making the racers into characters, with identifiable personalities, faces, and dialog goes a long way to fleshing things out and makes you connect with what’s going on just a little bit better. Or at least, that’s how things would work in theory.

The problem is… well, none of that matters. Put simply, the actual artificial intelligence you race against kind of sucks. In fact, it’s hard to even call them competitors, because your opponents seem to be running a different race where you straight up don’t exist. During any given event, your rival computer drivers seem to be totally blind to your presence, as they will spend the entire race trying to drive straight through you. I don’t know how else to explain it. This isn’t a simple case where the computer drivers are a little aggressive, because they usually aren’t racing to be destructive. They never seem to specifically go out of their way to attack, they just don’t seem to be able to see where you are, and make no effort to react to your presence. You happen to be in their way, so they plow through from behind, ram from the side, and generally just knock you around as if you were invisible.

A side effect to this is something I’ve started noticing in games that bear the Sumo Digital name: computer drivers can hit you way harder than you can hit them back. Whether rubbing against a rival car or engaging in a full-on collision, computer drivers always seem to be able to overpower player vehicles no matter what. In Hotshot Racing, I’ve encountered multiple scenarios where a computer driver shoves me around with little effort, but any attempts to return the favor and my car may as well be made out of styrofoam for how little impact there is. I know Sumo Digital only assisted Lucky Mountain Games on the back half of developing Hotshot Racing, but this has been a consistent element I’ve noticed in Sumo’s Sonic Racing games, too. The computer can be as aggressive (or as blind) as they want, but human players are never allowed to retaliate in a way that feels meaningful.

The worst, by far, is what I mentioned earlier: rubberbanding. “First place” in Hotshot Racing is an often endless war of attrition, where no matter how fast you drive, there are always cars nipping at your heels. Hotshot Racing has a boost system, wherein by drifting or drafting you charge up a segmented meter. Once a segment is full, you can burn it for a burst of speed. I’ve spent 2, 3, even 4 consecutive boosts in a row and the same three opponents were still right behind me, aiming to blindly smash my car out of the way. Hard, medium, or easy mode, it doesn’t matter. They are always there, just a few feet from your rear bumper, magically closing the distance to constantly steal your lead.

From a game design perspective, I understand why rubberbanding exists. It’s to keep the player feeling challenged and engaged. Spending too long in first place going unopposed can start to feel boring. Some game designers view that as a turn off. Races are meant to be battles. At the same time, being able to totally shut out my opponents and gain huge leads makes me feel good. Hotshot Racing robs you of that sense of total domination because of some artificial rule of competitiveness. It’s not that the computer-controlled racers are better than you; they don’t seem to race with any sort of great care or skill. Instead, they catch up and pass you strictly because the Hand of God bends the rules to accommodate them. That doesn’t feel very challenging and it certainly doesn’t feel fair.

That being said, the pseudo-realistic physics mentioned earlier do have their own downside: I found it a little too easy to lose control of my vehicle and spin out. If you brush against a wall wrong or get bumped by a rival during a drift, you often find yourself in a tailspin and unable to recover. Combined with the blind artificial intelligence and the rubberbanding, you have a recipe for getting frustrated. I want to feel confident in my losses, not because I couldn’t predict what Mr. Magoo was going to do next. To add insult to injury, the rubberbanding only gets more prominent as you move up in difficulty, so expect to get spun out more and more as you progress through the game.

There also isn’t a lot to do with your vehicles, either. For many, tuning is an important aspect of racing games, going all the way back to 1989’s “Super Off Road” in the arcades. No upgrade path is available for any of the vehicles in Hotshot Racing, with a basic unlock system geared towards limited cosmetic tweaks. There's tons of tracks to race on, and you constantly earn currency for winning races, but I never cared about spending any of it, because there wasn't much worth buying. Arguably the specific mid-90′s era that Hotshot Racing is aiming at wasn’t really heavy on upgrading or modifying around vehicle stats, but neither were they focused on visual customization either, so it does feel a little arbitrary what they chose to modernize about this experience and what is intended to be a retro tribute.

Beyond standard racing, Hotshot does offer a few alternative modes, but none of them are spotlight features. “Barrel Barrage” has you earning an explosive barrel to drop behind you at every checkpoint until the track becomes a minefield. “Drive or Explode” takes the concept of 1994’s “Speed” and straps a bomb to your car that will explode if you slow down for too long. Finally, “Cops & Robbers” is a confusing push-and-pull where you must steal money as a robber and alternatively wreck other racers as a police officer. Of the three modes, “Drive or Explode” is the clear winner, as it most easily fits into the standard three-lap structure the game centers around. “Barrel Barrage” is merely okay, and benefits more from an increased number of laps, as things slowly get more and more dangerous as you progress. These modes would also benefit if I didn’t get thrown back to the menu after every race; they really needed some kind of Grand-Prix-style playlist.

“Cops & Robbers” deserves its own entire paragraph for what a weird idea it is. It’s less about stealing and arresting and has more in common with the “zombie” modes seen in other games, where everyone gets converted to a specific team until there are no more players left. The idea is that you start with a pot of money that slowly depletes, and you have to race to the next checkpoint to cash out. The faster you get there and the higher amounts you cash out with, the more the cops specifically will target you. Once they wreck your car, you become one of the cops, and it’s your job to wreck the remaining robbers until they all become part of the cop team. Once all the robbers become cops, winners are tallied based on who stole the most money. On paper, this works, because it plays into the game’s slap-happy nature, but in practice I would find myself miles ahead of my fellow robbers and once I finally switched over to a cop, I had to slam on my brakes and wait for everyone else to catch up. By then, the computer-controlled cops had usually done most of my work for me and I lost for... being a better robber than a cop, somehow? It left a lot to be desired.

All of these modes can be played online, where presumably human players would make them more balanced and fun, but finding random pick-up games proved difficult in the time I spent with Hotshot Racing. Now, to be fair, I didn’t try especially hard -- racing games have always been a single player experience for me, as should be obvious by my spiel on artificial intelligence. But I did spend a couple nights trying to match into an online “Quick Race” on the Switch, where I universally came up empty handed. On the PC version of Hotshot Racing (which I received as part of a Humble Bundle), the application completely froze upon trying to start a “Quick Race” lobby, forcing me to ALT+F4 to close the game. For what it’s worth, the Switch version does also include a “local multiplayer” option for playing wirelessly with friends in the same room, and all versions support traditional split-screen.

Despite all of these shortcomings, I just can’t bring myself to hate Hotshot Racing, and it’s hard to pinpoint why. I’m definitely in love with this aesthetic -- the retro visuals, the upbeat music, the blue, blue skies (that I see), it all appeals to a certain part of my brain that likes razor-sharp, ultra-clean polygons. The introduction of named racers with backstories and character-specific “endings” is a really smart, fun idea. I just wish it was more fun to actually, like… run a race in this game. I understand the necessity behind concepts like rubberbanding, but it feels like the artificial intelligence cheats just a little too much, and as a player I don’t feel like I can do a lot to fight back. Running a good race isn’t always good enough.

Some games deliberately incite a feeling of disempowerment in their players, and that can be a totally valid design decision. But should that really be the goal of this kind of racing game? I guess I don’t have an answer for that, but I do know that I probably won’t be going back to Hotshot Racing very often.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael in the Mainstream: Crash Bandicoot

Reviewing video games is not my forte. Like, sure, I can review the Metal Gear franchise because it’s near and dear to my heart and it’s incredibly story driven to a cinematic degree, but I’m not super good at touching on game design or any of that. I stick with movies. But then there are a lot of games I love and want to talk about, such as this game, Crash Bandicoot, and it’s like, how do I talk about this? This is a platformer that is very light on plot and is more about precision platforming than anything, and I’m just not really good at talking about gameplay.

But I’ve come up with a solution! One that I plan to use going forward for a few other games, too! I’ll start with a few paragraphs with my basic overview of the game, and then I will do a ranking of my favorite levels, and then how I’d rank the bosses. I’m much better at talking why I enjoy the challenge of specific elements of games like these then I am talking about the game as a whole, so let’s see how this turns out.

Crash Bandicoot was the first video game I ever played, and so is extremely near and dear to my heart. It’s a rather simple game, a “save the girl” platforming adventure in the vein of something like Mario, where an intrepid hero travels through platforming challenges to save the love of his life from an evil mastermind, though as the main character is a furry animal with a bit of 90s ‘tude, and his archenemy is a mad scientist who utilizes cyborgs to stop you, there’s a dash of Sonic in here too. Being a simple platforming game like this, you’d think there wouldn’t be all that much to the story… but surprisingly, that’s not totally the case (although the story is still relatively simple to later entries).

Crash was meant to be the ultimate soldier in Dr. Neo Cortex’s army of evil marsupials and other assorted critters, an army he presumably was going to use for world domination. After rigorous training, Crash was set to be brainwashed and turned into a mindless slave, but something got screwed up and Crash remained a good, heroic guy. He ended up chased out a window and washed up on the beach of a nearby island, and set out to save his buxom, big booty bandicoot babe Tawna from the creepy clutches of the cantankerous Cortex, causing chaos and crushing crates as he went along. The manual included with the original version of the game actually outlined sort of a little story for the first island, showing how the levels involved Crash infiltrating a native village, defeating its leader, and then riding a hog to escape on his way to the next island. It’s kind of fun and imaginative, and the next island keeps it up, with Crash having to brave ancient ruins to make it to the volcano on the other side of the island, before finally going through Cortex’s toxic power plant, causing a reactor meltdown, and climbing Cortex’s castle to confront him as his island burns to the ground. It’s a fun, simple story that’s not too challenging on the mind while still being engaging.

Perhaps the best thing about the game is the music, which was done by Josh Mancell with the assistance of Mark Mothersbaugh’s Mutato Muzika production company. Let’s not beat around the bush here: Every single track in this game slaps. Basically every track in the original trilogy slaps, but I feel pound for pound this game just hits all the right notes with its music. It perfectly sets the tone for each level, with eerie levels like Slippery Climb getting foreboding music and unsettling yet somewhat whimsical levels like Road to Nowhere getting music that perfectly suits it. This is the biggest downgrade of the remake; they redid the score, with no option to go back to the old tracks, and while some of the updated tunes are great, they don’t really hold a candle to the original (especially the creepier levels, which got dumbed down a fair bit to the point of narm).

The one thing this game is being known for these days is its pretty brutal difficulty, at least with the original release. A lot of the staple elements of the series like checkpoints saving the boxes you had previously broken and an actual save room were not present, so every level (including the brutal ones where the margin of error was incredibly slim) needed to be completed perfectly in one go. The challenging road to 100% completion was absolutely brutal, but thankfully the remake polished things and brought it more in line with its sequels to the point you only need a flawless run on colored gem levels. It can still be pretty tough since the colored gems are located in the hardest levels of the game, but it’s a lot easier than it once was.

The original game is a great, fun game, but only play the original release if you really want to test your skills; the remake is the way to go. The game holds up amazingly well even today, so no matter which version you end up playing you’re in for a fun platforming challenge.

Anyway, let’s get on to the levels!

TOP 10 LEVELS

10. Generator Room

There’s something to be said about the various one-shot themed levels of the third island. Toxic Waste is an interesting one we’ll talk about later, The Lab is a fun penultimate level, and Cortex Power is a frustrating slog of confusing backtracking. The Generator Room, though? This is unnerving atmosphere and dark ambience at its peak, with the eerie, minimalist music and the looming Cortex faces lending a chilling sense that you’re being watched as you make your way through this dark platforming challenge. It’s not the most exciting level, but among the one-shot themes it stands out for being a heaping helping of nightmare fuel… Though moreso in the original game. The remake sadly toned things down a bit too much, though it’s hard to blame them, really.

9. Native Fortress

The level that caps off the first island is a more challenging remake of The Great Gate, and closes out the story of the first island by showing how Crash escapes the territory of Papu Papu’s tribe. It’s a pretty fun and reasonable challenge for the point in the game, but my favorite aspect of the level has always been that, when you get the red gem, you get to fly up in the clouds and experience the painted background of the other two islands with less clutter. It’s just a simple background image, sure, but I have always found it very pretty and breathtaking.

8. Road to Nowhere

Everyone’s favorite! This is one of the more challenging levels if you don’t know what you’re doing because of the tricky and precise jumps you need, but it just has so much atmosphere and pleasant music it’s hard to get mad even if I screw up and plummet to my doom a few dozen times. Bouncing off of hibernating turtles to make long jumps and inexplicable evil hogs help make this memorable. Frankly, if you want to direct your ire to a stage, direct it to The High Road, the third island’s more challenging take on this level’s theme and which is a joyless, frustrating experience.

7. Castle Machinery

This level is honestly a bit of a breather for being so late in the game; sure, it has a lot of tricky jumps and an annoying crate bridge you need to really think about to conquer, but overall it’s just an improved take on Heavy Machinery without an obtuse branching path to figure out. Still, this level really makes the list because, if you have the right colored gem, you can just immediately skip the entire level and gain thirty free lives in the process in one of the single funniest moments in the game.

6. Toxic Waste

This level is simple, straightforward, and to the point. It’s one long-ass hallway where Crash is on a narrow walkway and has to avoid incoming barrels being tossed at him by the Mafia. It has no branching paths, no crazy elements, just Crash, some barrels, some boxes, and some bad guys. It’s almost too basic, but what saves it is the atmosphere of it all and the sheer awesomeness of the music, no matter which version you’re playing. It’s a level that has stuck in my mind since I was a kid. In a way, it also set the basis for colored gem unlocks in the games to follow, as avoiding the barrels is more of a puzzle than anything, much like the tricky puzzles you had to solve to unlock the colored gems in Cortex Strikes Back and It’s About Time. It’s a neat little first step even if it’s not quite there yet.

5. Boulder Dash

I almost didn’t include one of these levels, but God, these levels were trendsetters! The whole “Crash gets chased by dangerous thing” trend began in this game, and this second take on the boulder chase from the second island is a lot more fun and challenging than the earlier version of the level. And if you get the colored gem, you’re taken to a pretty underground alternate exit with tons of crates, which is pretty dope.

4. Fumbling in the Dark

The only one of the secret levels that requires a Cortex key to make the list, Fumbling in the Dark is a remix of Lights Out, the level it branches off of. That level is a bit of a cakewalk if you have the right gem, with an alternate exit being available to you before the level’s challenge ramps up. Not so with this level! You’ve gotta do some tricky timed jumps as quick as possible so you can get to the next Aku Aku mask before the light runs out. It’s a pretty fun and fair challenge, and it pushes my platforming skills to the limit. I also just really enjoy the creepy, Gothic aesthetic of the levels inside Cortex’s castle.

3. Hog Wild

This is, hands down, the funniest level in the game. From Crash’s really suggestive eyebrow waggle which leads to him tackling a pig to the extremely goofy music, this level is just an absolute blast. It does have an equally fun yet more challenging remix as an optional secret level, Whole Hog, but I have to give props to the original level for being the most hilarious thing I ever saw when I was little.

2. Slippery Climb

Where Stormy Ascent is a brutal, unrelenting challenge, Slippery Climb is more of a tough, but fair challenge. It’s definitely up there with Sunset Vista and The High Road in terms of difficulty, and the fact you’ve gotta do a flawless run of it if you want the red gem is daunting, but this is the most thoroughly rewarding mandatory level to conquer. You’re gonna feel really cool when you take this one down, guaranteed. Maybe not as much as when you take down Stormy Ascent, but still, this may be the toughest level in the game.

1. THE GREAT HALL

WOO YEAH BABY! LOOK AT THIS CHALLENGE!

Ok, ok, here’s the real number one:

1. N. Sanity Beach

This is the first level in the game and, thus, one of the easiest. And yet I placed it above all the levels I find to be more fun and challenging. Why? Well, for one, the pure nostalgia of it all. This was my first level in a video game, and I have fond memories of traversing the beach and jungle. For the other, this is one of the most perfect tutorial levels I have ever seen. Basically everything the game has to offer is laid out to you and slowly dished out to you: you start with a couple crates and a free life, move on to experience some enemies and pits, you can get total invincibility if you’re smart, you’re introduced to branching paths and backtracking… Everything is dished out to you at a solid pace so that any new player will be able to figure out what they’re doing with relative ease. Plus, the music slaps, and interestingly enough halfway through the level changes to a different song (the only level to do this). It really does encapsulate the game as a whole in one tiny package, and for that, I think it’s my favorite level of all.

Boss Ranking

The best way to describe the bosses in the original Crash is that they are incredibly basic. Most of them have simple patterns, easy tells, and don’t take much effort to take down. There’s not really anything here that will put your skills to the test, but none of them are really bad per se; in fact, considering how hard the levels can get, it’s sort of a breath of fresh air when you get to a boss that can be taken down without thinking hard.

6. Papu Papu

Coming in last place is our first boss, the big chief of the first island himself. He’s a pretty simple and straightforward boss battle: just jump on his head a few times and he’ll be out cold. It’s pretty nice to ease in new players, but it’s seriously not much of a challenge (though none of these bosses are particularly hard, mind you).

5. Koala Kong

So far, this has been Koala Kong’s sole major outing, as he was pretty quickly replaced with the more engaging Tiny Tiger in terms of dumb muscle.Tiny at least has some semblance of combat prowess and strategy, while this guy is just tossing boulders at you to spin back while he’s flexing and posing like he wants a part in the next volume of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure. He’s certainly not the sharpest tool in the shed. Still, he’s not bad or anything, just a bit of a generic battle compared to the last three or the one before him.

4. Ripper Roo

Ripper Roo is a bit of a frustrating puzzle boss, requiring just the right timing to get in any damage on the guy. Still, the fun and bouncy music coupled with the amazing stock laugh does help make him a bit more memorable than the previous two bosses. I will say he’s probably worse in terms of an actual boss battle, because he ends up being more an exercise in precision than the typical dodging and waiting for the right moment to strike, but he’s also a funny kangaroo in a straitjacket, and I think that counts for something.

3. N. Brio

The longest boss in the game, Brio comes with a massive health bar that you’ll shave off pretty quickly for his first phase if you’re careful, and whose second phase features him hulking out into an incredible monstrosity. He’s simple and straightforward, much like all the bosses to be honest, but I think the bosses on the final island all have solid presentation to make up for that. Brio just comes out at the lower end, which is honestly a running theme for him in Crash games, as his battles are rarely the best out there and few can match his debut.

2. Pinstripe

Pinstripe may not be the most challenging boss in the world, but damn is he cool. A tommy gun-toting potoroo gangster who goes full-on Scarface and starts blasting up his office when you walk in while cackling like a madman? Awesome. Defeating him is also heavily implied to be the reason Cortex’s castle eventually starts burning down, as he accidentally shoots the generator upon defeat, which is a neat little touch. If nothing else, Pinstripe is just fun, and he has killer theme music to boot.

1. Cortex

Cortex begins his reign as the big bad of the franchise with a final boss battle that, while lacking in serious challenge, has such good music and presentation that it’s hard to really care. The fight is simple and straightforward: you dodge his blasts, and hit back the ones of a certain color so they blast his health off. All of this is done from atop his dirigible, as his island burns down in the background. The bosses just don’t get any cooler than this.