#here it is. my stupidest post ever

[birdbath09]

me when im feeling like marty mcfly with a little propeller hat and a comically large lollipop

[hoohoobeanie]

#SHAYNCER: yeah we're stupid, keep scrolling

[apollos-boyfriend]

creepypasta characters and whether or not i could beat them in a fight

jeff the killer: absolutely. i could throw hands with a 13 year old and win. he’s like knee-high to a frog at that age i could easily punt him

slenderman: what’s he gonna do, stand there ominously and give me a headache?? jokes on you asshole, i already get those daily. i could topple him like a tree with a good enough tackle

ben drowned: whether it’s BEN or ben all i have to do is unplug the fucking n64. easy victory. one flick to the breakers and it’s all over

ticci toby: another case of just another shitty teenager. he’s 17 though so he may be a bit harder to punt than jeff but i think i could do it

eyeless jack: losing AND having my kidney stolen :(

hoody/masky: yeah i could take them. probably even both at once. i will not elaborate any further.

[karlenthusiast]

Sometimes you gotta make incredibly dumb fanart at 2am

(Original image + the other guy below the cut)

[nyxi-pixie]

liking canon is literally a death sentence in any fandom

[thepunkmuppet]

right, watching wayward sisters now, and i’m acc fucking fuming. who the FUCK’S idea was it to do a PREQUEL SPINOFF about FUCKING JOHN AND MARY WINCHESTER instead of this????? like oh my god?????? that’s the stupidest thing i have ever heard this is awesome and literally everyone hates the stupid dickbrained winchesters wtaf

i don’t think supernatural needs a spinoff regardless. i don’t think it needed any more than 10 seasons frankly, probably less. it ran its course. but MY GOD was this an absolutely golden opportunity, i’m so fucking mad they didn’t do it!!! claire, jody, alex and donna are amazing characters and with some development kaia and patience could be too. i’m so consistently disappointed by this show i actually can’t AAAHAGGSHDJ

i’m loving this episode, claire is so gay i absolutely love it but i also think she or jody might die at the end of this and i’m so fucking mad about it. will update i guess :(

EDIT: oh! so claire’s fine but they just did kill your gays after one episode of the characters interacting! YAY I LOVE SUPERNATURAL AHAHAHAHA I’M TOTALLY NOT LOSING MY FUCKING MIND

[purecommemasolitude]

Personally I think if you consistently maintag hate and negativity posts without even being a fan doing criticism that comes from a place of love for what you’re discussing I should be able to kill you with large knives and that’s that

[socialtomcat]

to celebrate international womens day i have decided to turn all my ships into yuri‼️‼️‼️‼️

[themyscirah]

If Red Lantern Rankorr has 1000 haters one of them is me. If he has 100 haters I'm there. If he only has 1 hater that is me. If no one hates him I am no longer on this Earth. I hate Rankorr. Fuck that bitch

LMAOO going through my drafts rn and damn I really hated this guy. I mean I still do but idk this is funny to me

[adamarks]

If you’re censoring killed on tumblr dot com I’m taking Deadpool away from you. You’re gonna do something stupid with him spit that out

[susiehunsecker-remade]

[zero00kiryu00]

jfc the second i get my lil grippers into any form of media that is even vaguely interesting to me, i start to go absolutely hog wild. like my pop culture prof had us watch a documentary on the z-boys skate team and ive been obsessed ever since like brb let me just go fucking rabbit hole into the lore of everything to do with the z-boys, like i straight up found a dead archive site for all of their old articles and shit i need to stop

[bronzetomatoes]

dashboard simulator

Mutual 1: [photo of pete wentz in the 90s]

Mutual 2: until we deconstruct the meta framework around his work we'll never know his true feelings regarding the technocapital singularity

Mutual 3: art dump lol [3-8 beautiful drawings of the stupidest shit you've ever seen]

Mutual 4: [this post contains filtered tags: #discourse #dsmp]

Mutual 5: this time I'm really gonna do it

Mutual 6: [photo of hayley williams]

Mutual 1: [fall out boy suicidal ideation webweave]

Mutual 7: sorry about all the old British men

Mutual 3: send art reqs!

Mutual 3: I thought about killing my mother today

Mutual 7: [britcom clip]

Mutual 7: [photo of britcom men with a tweet overlaid]

Mutual 2: [screenshot of 2 normal looking men with a podcast] do you think we could put them in the hunger games

Mutual 7: [britcom clip]

Mutual 5: warped tour photo

Mutual 5: warped tour photo

Mutual 5: warped tour photo

Mutual 8: every day I fall more in love with him #liveblog #jerma

Mutual 4: does anyone else think he was especially cute in this week's Shut Up I'm Talking

Mutual 6: [photo of hayley williams]

Mutual 9: does anyone here like assassins creed

Mutual 1: [photo of pete wentz in the 2000s] I know he'd like being tied up

Mutual 2: do y'all even know what postmodernism means

Mutual 7: [britcom still]

[xxstylefntsyxx]

Lazy ass

Context: You've been fed up with tojis lazy behavior around the house. Granted, he pays your bills and for you to live a good lifestyle. But the constant cleaning up behind him, you were done. You yelled at him about these issues, but he never acknowledged it. He always steps over you and ignores you. But after he came home today, you were fucking done....

*This is a reupload that a nice person requested me to repost from my community*

Content warning: toji fucking you like you crazy, kinks, back!shots, you called him a bitch, controlled fucking, hairpulling, drooling and spit. Toji is just a mass dickhead who gets turned on by the way you yell at him. Use of the word nigga.

You were fed up with it. You just got done cleaning your room, and low and behold, here his bum ass come; throwing the bed apart, clothes on the floor, plates and cups and his big ass snoring on the bed laid out like a dead man. You were fuming at this point. You picked up the clothes and fixed the room again before smacking him with a pillow. He jolted up, tense already like he was prepared to fight. He looked at your face, slowly started calming down. "Fuck wrong with you?" He asked in a bored tone.

"Nigga are you fucking serious!?" You yelled. He sat up a bit more getting comfortable around the plush pillows and bedding. "Nigga you been here for X amount of days and yet everything is always in disarray cause of you!" You yelled. He sat their confused, he let out a groan, "Not this shit again."

"Yes, this shit again! The fuck!? You lay up in my fucking house and don't do shit! When the last time you picked up a broom? Wished a dish? Folded a pair of fucking clothes? Not a damn thing!" You yelled, you were in the bathroom now, cleaning it up again and fixing the counter.

"You always complain about the stupidest of shit y/n, you know that? I pay bills and pay for yo' expensive ass hobbies... whatchu' ever give me?" He mumbled, loud enough for you to catch it. You came storming out the bathroom towards his lazy ass.

"What!? Bitch what have you ever given me other than a fucking headache!?" You were angry, tears pricked you eyes and toji's non attentive form, molded upon the word bitch.

He was quick, in your face grabbing your throat. You were shocked, waiting for the squeeze so you could spazz. But it never came, he held your neck in his hands, face close to yours eyes low.

Who the fuck are you talking to?" He asked you in a low voice. You looked in his eyes, you were angry as hell. But his face and his hand grip left you kinda, wanting more. You almost forgot how this man got to you when you were angry.

It's like he tries the sexy route before he has to battle the endless arguments that stacked themselves when you gained a brain and consciousness after a night of, "Fighting."

You tempted a word, "I was talking to you fushigu-", the air was taken from you momentarily when his grip tightened slowly. It was sexy, causing you to shiver.

"You was talkin' to who?" He asked you again. You couldn't even form another sentence before he wasn't in front of you anymore.

Dammit, heavenly restriction was a bitch when yall argued. Especially when he used it to get away and text you later talking about you was on some bullshit so he went to gojos. You felt his hands ghost his t-shirt you were wearing. He was behind you, dick pressed against your plush ass.

You were about to grab his hands, holding your ass, "Ah-uh toji! Nah- you not finna get out thi-" he pushed your hand away from him, he slapped your ass earning a whine. "Move yo' fucking hands. I'm still trying find out who a bitch." He snarled.

He pulled the shirt up, revealing a pair of blue underwear. He grinded against you, grinning at the way your ass molded against his dick print. He groaned, twitching excitedly in his boxers. He saw an opportunity and pushed you forward. You landed on the bed, posted up on both hands.

"Toji, fucking st-" You tried to grab at his hand again. You felt his rough hand snatch your wrist and pin it behind you. He leaned over you, slinging a muscular arm around your neck, pulling you up roughly.

His breath caught your ear, "Who a bitch y/n?" He asked you again. The question was sickening and repetitive, you were irritated with his attempts at, persuading your anger.

Shock brung you back from your thoughts, you released a soft moan when his teeth nibbled your ear lobe. You tried to pull your head away, but his lock around your neck semi tightened forcing a stillness in your neck. You moaned again, his hand let go of your arm and went under the shirt to graze your breast. "Ouh fuck~" You moaned.

He grinded against your ass some more, twisting and rubbing a nipple, "Tell me who the bitch? Cause right now I'm looking at mines and I see no other in here." He said, biting down on your lobe.

You were horny, yes, but you were angry, yes. But who said you can't be both? You wanted to see just how far he'll take it. So you opened your mouth, "You- you bum ass ni~" He sucked his teeth, "Mane-", he pushed you on the bed roughly. He grabbed your legs pulling you halfway off the bed.

"Toji stop fucking pushing me!" You whined. He smirked, pulling at your panties. He tugged them down, earning a whimper and another whiney stop.

"Touch my hand again, and imma lock you in place and fuck you till you can't breath. Stop playin' y/n and lemme see." He said. His voice showed firmness, you put your hands in front of you.

"That's what I love, fucking obedience." He groaned. His fingers found their ways inside your warm walls. You shivered, his hands were fucking cold.

His fingers pistoned inside you, "Mmm~ she mad at me too?" Toji purred at you. You weren't even listening to him. You were too busy, tightening around his fingers to care.

Toji worked around your walls and pressed against that soft spot righttttt...

"Ouhh fuck right there daddy! Mmm~ right fucking there!" You pushed your ass back against his fingers. You felt your pussy throbbing, your juices running down your legs; you were embarrassingly wet.

Toji smirked. His dick was jumping in his boxers. It couldn't breath, and neither could he. He was just holding his breath. He didn't wanna come yet, but this sight of you. Bent over, shivering, cumming around his fingers. Your sweet pussy drooling around his middle and ring finger.

"O~ oh fucckk! Fuckk! Fuck! Fuck~♡" You shook, pulling yourself off his fingers. Toji wasn't finished, he needed to get his point across.

He wasn't done arguing with you, not in his own little way. He gripped your sides, rubbing his thumbs on the stretch marks. You were spent laying there to realize. "Ah~ toji baby, mm mm!" You shook your head. But he was already pulling his boxers off. He was too gone to care.

His dick landed on your ass, jiggling, "Mm~ I'm not done proving my point~ Always yellin' always wantin' some attention. She do too~ she mad at me, mad mad lil' things... lemme finish my point bae~", he was whispering.

You were shaking, barely standing from that last orgasm. His dirty ass talking had you weak in the knees. Toji pulled your ass apart, a cool air hit your wet cunt, he drooled, sliding his dick between your folds. He slowly started filling you, your thighs started shaking. "Shit~! Toji! Baby~"

"Nah, imma bitch remember?" He reminded you of your earlier comment. Your response was something he didn't expect, "O-oh! I forgot..."

"You funny?" He asked. His hips snapped forward, nestling his cock perfectly inside you. You let out a strained moan, your head was buried in the sheets that smelled like him. Toji hissed, "Mm! Too deep off in that pussy bae?" You fingers curled around sheets. "Toji~!" You said in a shaky high-pitched voice.

"Bitch.", he hissed. A rough pace established itself within the bounds of this fucked up "arguement."

"Ngh~ daddy!" You moaned under him. A hand found it's way roughly through your hair, picking you head up as it yanked you out of the bed.

"Open yo' fuckin' mouth when I speak to you." He chuckled deeply. You didn't even hear a question muttered. You tried to focus on the argument at hand that you were apparently having.

"You got an attitude all for what? Some clothes and some fucking dishes? You don't yell at me when I'm deep in 'er. That be the only way I have to talk to you, cause you be fuckin' spazzin' like a lil' hothead.", toji leaned down, his dick was arching dangerously into your g-spot.

"Now why you be givin' my pussy a bad name? You so argumentative ma', and for what? Some dick? Yeah?" Your hand found his in your hair, trying to pull his tangled fingers out of your soft hair. Toji smacked your ass, "Stop that shit and answer me. You tryna' stop me but I ain't heard not a damn word."

He was right, you haven't said a safe word. And right now, this man was plowing you and you ain't got not an issue. You drooled, eyes rolling back as his cock hit every pressure point inside you.

"You now damn well, I don't have to do shit in this house, yo bills are paid, yo' hobbies are supported and yo' nails, hair, clothes and shoes are paid for... yo spoiled ass walk 'round this house, and ion even get a thank you daddy anymore. But go' head tell me bout the house! Mm fuck~ go 'head tell me why you be walking through our home yellin' like you done lost yo' mind."

You were stuck, and his hard body leaned against you. His hand lost your hair, and glide down to your hips, thrusting deeply. Your head hung down, crying a whimpering, "I don't know! Daddy! Fuck!"

"Yes you do stop lyin' and lay the fuck down." You laid down like he said, instinctively arching dangerously.

Toji bit his lip, "How many should I give you fa' lyin' on this dick?" He asked you, jiggling your ass in his right hand, occasionally giving it a squeeze. You shook your head. You were drunk off that feeling of helplessness he gave you. Like a soft escape, it brung you down to relaxing cock drunk hysteria.

Toji responded to your silence with, "You quiet now but you had all that mouth... now you tell me who the bitch?", he laughed when you started babbling apologies.

"When you coulda' not did that shit and waited till I got up. I just got off a mission an hour ago, and here you come, 'mm! Toji! You don't do this!', or, 'see this why you be gettin' yelled at cause see!'" toji flipped you on your side, you head lolling with your body. You thought he was gonna give you God breaking backshots, but this sudden change confused your shakey head.

"Now my dick hard, you look fuckin' stupid and I'm angry." He said. He pulled your thighs apart, hiking a leg over his shoulder. Your pussy was creamy, it was all around his dick, "Now you layin' here gettin' yo' pussy handled when you coulda' just came in here did what you needed to do and left up outta here."

He slipped himself inside of you again with a groan. You gripped the sheets, moaning like a whore, "Ou! I'm sorry! I'm sorry daddy! Mm just angry you don't pay me attention when I do all this cleaning and you go behind me and mess it upp! L- like you don't care!"

"Cause I love it when you yell at me." He said sadistically. He was fucking you without a stop in sight. Your tits bounced against your rib cage, you felt another orgasm, but this one felt like you might squirt.

"I fuckin' love that crazy eye you got when you get so tense bout some shit I did. It gets me stiff when that ass walks away from me angrily, pussy snug between them thick warm thighs. I be wantin' t'bend you over. Mmngh, fuck the shit outta you." He admitted, his thrusts becoming sloppy, signaling his end too.

And he called you crazy...

You started fumbling with his grip on your wayward thigh, "Ngh! Daddy! Daddy no! I just cleaned these sheets, mngh toji I don't like the red onessss!" You squeeled.

Toji shook his head, "Nah~ squirt on it... you such a clean freak to be such a dirty fuckin' bitch♡" He was right. You were so concerned with being clean, you completely forgot he has his sides too.

Yeah, he was a dirty ass bum. But, fuck was he yours. "Mmngh~ Cumming~!", you yelled. Your body arched. Toji let out a praise before cumming deep in you. A lil too deep. You hit his arm, "Deep!"

"Yeah.." He pulled out.

After that morning, you've noticed slight changes in his bum ass behaviors. It brings you an actual sense of ease seeing him take the trash out the next day.

How nice of him.

Even though he was still a bum in your mind. It was good he took the initiative in trying to change for you.

♡

No authors note

[spideyson-stuff]

Inspired by a post by: @nevergracie

Imagine Tony finding a photo album of Peter as a baby (don't ask him how he did it, he has his contacts), and be like "WHY DON'T YOU HAVE SOME IRON MAN PAJAMAS HERE!?" because, you know, he wants to be Peter's favorite but Iron Man didn't exist when Peter was a baby, so there was no way he could have Iron Man clothes in that time

But he doesn't talk to Peter, no no no, Instead this GENIUS gets angry trying to impress Peter and show off to him as if his life depended on it, Peter is confused because whenever he is near Steve he can feel Tony glowing with anger, what is this?

Steve is like "what did I do to you man? :⁠'⁠(" and Tony is like "YOU EXISTED BEFORE ME!" So now it's a one-sided fight for Peter worship, Iron Man will always be his favorite anyway but Tony hates himself too much to realize that

Everyone in the tower, except Steve and Peter, understands what Tony is doing, and laughs at the situation. It's the stupidest and most accurate thing they've ever seen

Steve is like "GOD WHY DO YOU HATE ME!?" and Tony is like "GET OUT OF MY FACE YOU FREEZE ASS!" Peter is like "whyyyyyyyyyyyy???????"

When Steve and Peter understand Tony couldn't get over it for months, of course, Tony keeps the photos from when Iron Man STARTED TO BE A THING and Peter started having merchandise of him as his biggest prize

[angelsknifeprty]

streamer!ellie hcs ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

a/n: this is more focused on ellie and less on ellie x reader but i am for sure gonna follow this up with something else more focused on the both of you >:3

warnings | mentions of weed, the smallest hint towards struggling with eating if you squint

word count: 698

do not buy tlou | ways to help palestine | operation olive branch | keep eyes on sudan | haiti’s history | learn about congo

𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅

 ‧₊˚౨��� started off posting unlisted videos of her playing games with the stupidest, shittiest editing ever for you and her friends to watch and later decided to give streaming a try

‎ ‧₊˚౨ৎ starts off her twitch channel as a faceless streamer but does a face reveal when she hits a big milestone

‧₊˚౨ৎ has the creeper mini fridge for sure!!

‧₊˚౨ৎ has a ginger cat named garfield that she exclusively calls garfunkel on stream because her viewers made fun of her for garfield being too unoriginal

“guys, what do you mean it’s unoriginal, look at him. that’s literally garfield, the real deal. you’re all haters.”

‧₊˚౨ৎ plays a bunch of different games: minecraft obviously, fortnite, roblox (and argues with kids on there, you can’t tell me any different). also loves fnaf, elder scrolls and resident evil

‧₊˚౨ৎ more on her liking resident evil, i think she’s not super wimpy when it comes to games like that but she HATES the regenerators from the re4 remake (i’m totally not projecting…)

“i am NOT a wimp, but look at their freaky fucking arms!! and they have gross little butts too, that was not a necessary choice for the character design.”

‧₊˚౨ৎ she does find it funny when she kills them and they jiggle as they fall on the ground though

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ i’m throwing it in here that she smokes weed because i simply cannot help myself teehee :P

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ she does more chill streams of her eating n stuff as a way of comforting her viewers so they can eat along with her )):

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ and in turn chat always spams her with comments to drink water because that girl survives purely on energy drinks to combat her sleepy girl syndrome

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ abuses the soundboard so heavily, loves using a sound effect of an audience clapping and cheering when she tells the most painfully unfunny joke

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ she is ABSOLUTELY a jerma985 fan

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ loves putting her fans on blast and reacting to edits of her on stream and finds it so funny (especially the ones that have the reverb fart noise just randomly slapped in there, she thinks it’s peak humour)

“you guys think i don’t see this stuff? i have eyes everywhere. y’know what though, you guys are actually really talented.”

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ wears stupid t-shirts that say stuff like “i paused my game to be here” (omg i just found one that says “gamers make better lovers, they know all the right buttons” she would absolutely wear that)

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ she wears her silly t-shirts with pride and has the audacity to ask chat to rate how hard her fit goes

therealher0brine: BOOOOOO 🍅🍅🍅 0/10

elliebellie69: i beg that you don’t leave the house in that /lh  (╥﹏╥)

gnarpgnarp500: never beating the loser lesbian allegations i fear…

“guys you’re just not seeing the vision, sorry that you’re not this cool.”

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ oh my gosh she is OBSESSED with the little ikea alien, she has multiple of them in her room. she keeps one on her desk and when she sometimes doesn’t know what to say she’ll just hold it up super close to the camera and make incoherent high pitched babbling sounds

smelliams420: omg cancelled you can’t say that dude…

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ gets her viewers to send in clips and she’ll do high try not to laugh streams and fails miserably because she has the dumbest sense of humour ever. she’ll blame it entirely on the herb though as if her reaction wouldn’t be near enough the same when she’s sober

‧₊˚౨ৎ will occasionally play guitar on stream and she’ll sing too if you catch her in the right mood. she’s a bit awkward about it so it doesn’t happen often cuz she hates messing up and always makes a way bigger deal about it than necessary

“fuck- no wait, i was just messing with you. that fuck up was on purpose, shut up,” and her cheeks are flushed bright red as she tries to brush it off and compose herself before trying again

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ loves to get sidetracked and info dumps about stuff she is far too knowledgeable on

 ‧₊˚౨ৎ in conclusion, loser ellie supremacy

a/n: raghhh i love streamer els with my whole heart !!! i’m gonna eat her (˶˃⤙˂˶) anyways i hope you enjoyed, k bye mwah! >3< ♡