#here comes the new wave of shitting on white women

[newagevictorianorphan]

men will say the most misogynistic thing known to man and preface it with “ahahaha just a white woman thing tho hate white feminism am i right ladies?” and like. white feminism is real and i fucking hate it. like if u look in the feminist tag on my blog u see how much i despise ts. but. i fear that saying ur statement only applies to one demographic of an oppressed group (women) is not the move. it’s WEIRD

[rafeandonlyrafe]

flashing lights

words: 2.4k

warnings: 18+ only, brief smut, p in v sex, model!reader (a bit of influencer too but primarily a model), soft rafe, marriage, pregnancy

“so thats your new girl?” topper asks, eyes on you as you twirl to the music, long legs on show in the simple black dress.

“yeah, shes here for a month on vacation.” rafes also looking at you, unable to let his gaze stray, in case a man comes up and attempts to dance with you. you may not be an official item yet, considering you only met a couple days ago, but rafe is determined to spend the entire month that you’re here with you, and not let any other men pull your focus away.

“she looks so familiar.” the voice rings out before rafe even realizes that there's other people now sat in the circle of chairs and couches, too wrapped up in you.

the girl, who rafe recognizes from high school, begins to tap on her phone. “wait, shes a model.” “yeah, she told me.” rafe shrugs it off. he could have guessed your profession anyways, with how naturally stunning you are, and your height almost rivaling his, only a few inches shorter.

“no, like really famous model.” the girl turns her phone towards rafe, and he hates having to drag his eyes away from you to look at the screen, pulled open to a google search of your name.

“holy shit!” topper says for rafe, taking the phone from the girl as he clicks the first link to open up your instagram. “she has 20 MILLION followers, rafe.”

rafe glances from the phone to you as you turn to smile at him, still dancing to the music, glad to be free of all the attention and camera flashes. its why you chose the outer banks in the first place, somewhere more tucked away to take a month away from the spotlight.

“why are you so surprised, look at her.” rafe states before standing up, tired of letting you dance alone as he joins you on the makeshift dance floor, his hands coming to your waist as you give him a dazzling smile.

-- two years later --

camera lights flash and shouts ring out, but rafe is used to it now.

he smiles and waves, shocked that anyone would care about him, a nobody from north carolina, his only claim to fame is being your boyfriend, for a little over two years now.

rafe walks inside, having enough of the screaming and crowds as he takes in the area, chairs set up along a runway, a large prada sign on the white wall. your prestige has only grown since rafe began to date you, despite coming back to the outer banks several times to take a break and visit him. since rafe began to travel with you, you’ve gone from paris to milan to new york to london, gracing the covers of magazines and walking runways.

he tries to attend every show, taking on a pseudo-management role himself. your favorite part is dressing rafe in the mornings, having received clothing from so many brands, both mens and womens fit. rafe lets you choose, knowing you have the eye for fashion, and he loves to see how happy you get when he wears your outfit.

rafe walks through the seats until he finds the one with his name on it, front row. he sits down, scrolling on his phone as people begin to file in until the room is packed full.

he waits as the show begins, models walking down the runway. they don’t shine to him, not like you do when you step out, your face blank in the typical model expression as you strut down the runway, dressed in all denim with a pair of chunky sunglasses on your nose.

rafe is in awe every time he sees you work, whether its watching your fluid poses during a photoshoot or your long legs stomping down a runway.

he waits with bated breath for your second outfit, changing into a slouchy menswear-esque ensemble, only pulled in at your waist as the fabric swishes around your ankles.

he claps when everyone steps out for the final walk, but he doesn’t cheer for the designer, even if it is prada, as he makes eye contact with you, only ever a brief glance while you're walking the runway, knowing if you look for too long you will become entranced with his handsomeness.

rafe waits for you after the show along with some of the other family members or partners of the models, long after all the celebrities have gone, either to an afterparty or on to a different show.

“hey baby.” rafe smiles when you step out, hair still slicked up in a ponytail, face caked with makeup, but now in a pair of loose jeans and a plain white crop top.

“hi handsome.” you coo, pressing your lips against rafes. “did you like the show?” “i liked you in the show.” rafe says pointedly, making you blush. “are we going to the afterparty?” “nah.” you shake your head. “i have that carolina herrera show in the morning, and i want to spend some time with you.”

“i’ll never argue against spending alone time with you.” rafe says, slotting his arm around your waist as you exit the building, surprised when photographers are still waiting outside. you wave briefly before rushing towards the car, knowing the picture of you and rafe are bound to be spread all over instagram and pinterest before you even make it back to your hotel room.

--

“rafe, i’ve got a question.” you hum, stepping out onto the balcony, eyes looking to the ocean. you’re on a paid for vacation by a makeup brand, simply wanting a couple instagram story posts using their products in a get ready with me. you are supposed to be relaxing the rest of the time, but you crept onto your phone to read the latest email from your agent.

“what is it babe?” rafe asks as he pulls you down onto his lap, scantily dressed in only his swimsuit, not that you have worn much other than a bikini this whole trip.

“what would you think about me doing a lingerie photoshoot?” you haven’t accepted any jobs that would call for you to show off a lot of skin or be paired with a male model since you started dating rafe, lucky to be in a place to reject jobs.

“who is it for?” rafe asks.

“calvin klein. i wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t them.” you admit. you find their style of black and white classic photos far more tasteful than traditional lingerie pictures.

“as long as i can be there during the shoot.” rafe says. he’s taken the role of your advocate and protector during photoshoots, easily able to read your face and speak up for you if needed, considering sometimes the models voice gets drowned out.

“of course.” you nod. 

“then absolutely.” rafe pulls you in closer to his body. “i need a new lockscreen anyways.”

you roll your eyes but can’t help the laugh that bursts out of you as you turn towards the ocean, watching the waves roll onto the sand.

--

you step out behind the curtain, a tight fitting sports bra contrasting the loose jeans, slung open and zipper undone to show off your underwear as well as the calvin klein jeans.

you look over to rafe, who has his bottom lip pulled between his teeth as his eyes skate down your bare torso.

you most over to the white backdrop as the photographer begins to test the lighting, taking occasional snaps as things are adjusted.

the photoshoot is run just like any other and you’re finished faster than expected considering they’re solo shots and no change in location or background.

you keep the underwear and jeans on, simply throwing on a sweatshirt before getting into the taxi home with rafe, this time to your new york city apartment, having collected various homes and apartments around the world, depending on wherever you were doing business at the time. you consider the outer banks home though, returning every extended break with rafe.

“did you like the shoot?” you ask when you get home, rafe laying on bed while you tug the sweatshirt and jeans off, leaving you in just the calvin klein bra and panties.

“get over here.” rafe says, not caring about your question. he’s been desperate for you since you appeared from behind the curtain, not even trying to hide it as he watched the photoshoot, your eyes occasionally moving to him, giving him reassurance you were still good.

rafe makes you keep the underwear on, simply pulling it to the side once he’s got your back against the mattress to slide his cock deep inside of you. you push the sports bra up to let your breasts free, rafes palm instantly coming to cover your tit as he thrusts into you.

“i think you should do more shoots like that.” rafe says with a moan, cock pulsing inside of you.

--

“its nice to be back home.” you sigh, quickly applying some makeup, mostly just mascara and a glowy primer. 

“agreed.” rafe kisses your shoulder, watching over your shoulder as you finish and then adjust your white dress, having decided to take a couple pictures on the beach for you to post as well as just enjoy a walk on the sand.

“alright, i’m ready.” you hum as you slip on your sandals. you lace your fingers with rafes before stepping out the back door. “you look handsome by the way.”

the suns golden light illuminates his skin. his outfit is simple, closer to what he wore before the fame. a simple white button down, loose fitting and you are sure would look delicious unbuttoned, showing off his muscles.

“thank you baby.” rafe presses a kiss to your cheek, leading you down the beach until you come across a picnic set up. you glance around before realizing its for you.

“oh my god, its just like our first date!” you gush, stepping away from rafe to look at the spread.

“before we eat, i have a question to ask you.” you turn around to realize that rafe is on one knee, a velvet jewelry box in his hand.

“oh, rafe.” you press your hand to your mouth, tears already coming to your eyes as he opens the box, revealing a sparkling diamond ring. “will you marry me?”

--

“how am i supposed to look good next to a literal model?” rafe asks as he looks towards the camera, looking almost nervous for once in his life.

“we’ve taken pictures together before rafe.” you roll your eyes, adjusting your wedding dress. it’s actually four weeks after your wedding, but you wanted to get professional photos done with your new husband and asked one of your photographer friends who was more than willing to let you into their studio if they could post some of the photos on their instagram and website.

“mirror selfies and shit, this is more serious.” rafe says as you tug him over to the backdrop.

“you look so handsome, babe. don’t worry.” you smooth your hands over his shoulders. “just think back to our wedding day, we took so many pictures then.”

“i was too distracted by how excited i was to marry you.” rafe says, pressing a kiss to your bare shoulder, the oscar de larenta dress you ended up deciding on being off the shoulder. it was a simple dress, but the closer you got you realized how intricate the lace detail is. “you look just like you did on our wedding day though, baby. the makeup artists did a great job.”

“just tanner.” you joke, having gone on your honeymoon already.

you look as the photographer begins to set up their lens, before you turn to whisper to rafe. “you can’t tell?” you question, pressing your hand to your stomach. you know there’s no way you’d already begin to show, considering your baby is no bigger than a seed, but that doesn’t stop you from getting worried about your pregnancy being discovered early.

“not at all.” rafe shakes his head, but can’t hide the smirk that comes to his face, knowing your tummy will soon swell with his child, having made sure of it many times on the honeymoon.

--

“i was thinking about how we could announce the baby.” you tell rafe as you pad into the kitchen. he’s still making the decaf coffee you were absolutely craving, more syrup and milk than coffee.

“how?” he hums, glancing over at you as you lean against the counter, rubbing your stomach, bump now obvious as you’re over 6 months along. you have managed to keep it a secret so far, saying you were taking a break from modeling to focus on your new marriage. there is of course a lot of speculation that you are pregnant, but it is to be expected.

“calvin klein shoot. like before, except i’ve got a big ol’ bump.” you laugh as rafe finishes you coffee off with some whip cream before sliding the mug to you. “and you can be in it too.”

rafe rolls his eyes as you giggle. “come on! the girls love you, you’re so handsome.”

“i’m not a model.” rafe argues back, but he already knows he’s going to agree, he’d do anything for you, his pregnant wife.

“yeah, but you’re hot like a model.” you shrug, taking a sip of coffee.

“i think this is just an excuse to get me shirtless and in underwear.” rafe laughs, pressing a kiss to your upper lip, cleaning off the whip cream that sat on your cupids bow.

“yeah, and what about it?”

--

“you know theres some hormone to make women forget the pain of birth?” you hum to rafe, keeping your voice soft. “because if you remembered then no one would never do it again.”

“really?” rafe whispers, his voice also hushed as to not wake the sleeping newborn cuddled up in his arms, wrapped in a soft hospital banket.

“yeah.” you nod. “but i don’t wanna forget a moment of this.”

“im sure you wont baby.” rafe kisses your head as your tiny daughter squirms in his arms, letting out a yawn in her slumber. “i suppose i need to use a different name for you now that we’ve got an actual baby.”

you giggle, resting your head against rafes shoulder as you look down on your perfect little girl, already an adorable mixture of you and rafe.

taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @rafecamerongirl @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @kamninaries @buckyswhxre @rafeinterlude @bellbottombaby @deeaardiary @rubixgsworld

[daydreamtofiction]

Thou Shalt Not Covet // 20: Resurrection

Contents | Part 19 | First Person Version [AO3]

Summary: (Priest!Ben x Female Reader) THE FINAL CHAPTER IS UPON US. I love you all I love you all I love you all I love you all I love you all I love you all I love you all I love you all I love you all. I'm going to sleep now.

Word Count: 7.1K

Warnings: Strong language, irreverence, dark humour, adult & sexual themes. Readers must be 18+

You stirred gently from sleep, eyes closed as you drifted between the realms of reality and slumber. Echoes of the countryside seeped in through the open window like a soundscape, tranquil and idyllic; birdsong, wildlife, nature, rain-

Rain? 

Your eyes shot open, the remnants of your sleepy haze immediately falling away as you scrambled out of bed and hurried to the window. You pulled back the thick curtains, looking out over the vast landscape of the stately home, the plush, well kept grass and winding gravel paths, the fields in the distance that stretched along the skyline, as though nothing existed beyond it. 

The blue summer sky was blanketed in clouds, showering the earth in a rain so fine you could only see it in the ripple on the surface of a nearby pond. You gave a dejected sigh, walking around the bed to grab your phone off the nightstand. 

"Shit," you hissed as you noticed the time, the alarm you must have sent to snooze in your sleep.

You rushed out of your room in your t-shirt and pyjama shorts, making your way across the large landing towards the sound of voices and laughter, the smell of food and perfume. You tapped your knuckles on a door decorated with flowers and pushed it open, stepping into the room with an awkward grimace, an apology ready on your tongue. 

The spacious suite was buzzing with excitement, women with their hair in rollers, champagne flutes in their hands. They were all wearing matching silk robes; pale blue, 'bridesmaid' embroidered in white thread across the breast. You spotted Camilla from across the room, the only one in white, sitting with her back to you as a stylist blowdried her hair.

It felt like a bad teen movie; the moment the awkward new girl stepped into the high school cafeteria, looking over at the popular girls' table as she stood alone with her tray. They'd all known each other forever; the maid-of-honour her twin sister, the other four old friends. They were probably wondering why she'd asked you to be a bridesmaid at all, why you got to be part of the day they'd been waiting for since they were kids. 

"Oh, here she is!" One of the women shouted, jumping up from a couch in the middle of the room and rushing over to you. 

Camilla turned her head, smiling when she laid eyes on you and giving an excited wave. "You okay!?" she shouted over the sound of the hairdryer. 

You nodded, mouthing 'sorry' at her from across the room and pointing at your phone. 'Alarm didn't...'

She waved her hand at you, as if telling you not to worry. 

The woman approaching you was called Lottie, her freckled face gleaming with a grin as she handed you a robe. You took it and shrugged it on, looking down at the same 'bridesmaid' label embroidered into the pale blue silk. 

"Come and get some breakfast," she said, pointing to the coffee table between two couches, an elaborate spread laid across it. 

You picked at the food, putting a few pieces of fruit and croissant on a small plate and sitting down with the other women. 

"I'm so sorry I slept in," you said. 

"Oh don't worry about it," said Camilla's sister Alice. "You haven't missed anything. And Georgia's still asleep so you're not actually the latest." 

You laughed, biting into your croissant and relaxing back slightly into the couch. "I can't believe it's raining," you said, gesturing to the window on the other side of the room. "Especially with how warm June's been this year. I hope it stops before the ceremony." 

"Femi was just saying rain on your wedding day is supposed to be good luck," said Lottie.

The woman beside you nodded, her thick, dark hair sitting in a cluster of rollers on top of her head. "It is. They say it's supposed to wash away all the bad memories." 

"Hm." You nodded. "Well I hope it pours down then." 

They all laughed, and you allowed a smile, almost feeling bad for expecting coldness from them. They'd never been anything but kind; every dress fitting and group chat conversation filled with positivity and excitement, even the hen night had been surprisingly fun. Yet still, there was something inside you that made you doubt yourself, like you didn't belong amongst them.

Music played and the morning flowed as freely as the champagne. People rotated between the makeup artist and hair stylist, picking at the food and taking breaks in-between to dance and pose for pictures. You sat in the makeup chair as the woman swirled a brush over your eyelid, pinning your brow up with her thumb after you failed to stop blinking. 

You felt a tap on your shoulder, glancing up to see Camilla at your side.

"I know you don't like champagne so I got them to bring you a mojito," she said, handing you a tall glass, a sprig of mint floating over the ice. 

"Oh, wow, thank you. You didn't have to-" The makeup artist turned your face back towards her.  

Camilla laughed, patting you on the arm before walking away. 

You took a sip as the artist turned to dip her brush in another eyeshadow, quickly putting it down when she returned to you. You peered at yourself in the mirror through one eye, liking what you saw; glowing skin and romantically blushed cheeks, fluffy brows and the beginnings of a soft, dreamy eye. You found yourself thinking about your own wedding, the kind of makeup you'd have, the dress you'd wear, the colours you might choose. You could picture the guests, the bridesmaids, the church. But the groom didn't seem to have a face. No matter how hard you tried to imagine him waiting for you at the altar, you just couldn't make him out.

You were the last one to sit in the hair stylist's chair, nursing your cocktail as she ran a bristly round brush through your hair, spraying you with mists and pinning it up in sections while you watched the other women slip into their dresses. 

At every fitting, Camilla had been very specific about what she wanted your dresses to look like. They were beautiful; layers upon layers of delicate tulle that flowed to the ground like water, sleeves that draped off the shoulders and dozens of intricate flower appliqués. If it weren't for the soft blue colour, they could have been mistaken for wedding gowns. 

You watched as each woman was zipped and buttoned into her dress, the material gliding across the ground as they walked and twirled. And when your hair was finished, you put on your own, holding it tight to your chest as Femi fastened the back. You turned to looked at yourself in the mirror; the makeup, the hair and the most magnificent dress you had no idea how to walk in without tripping over it. You felt beautiful. You looked beautiful. You all did. 

You stood in the room waiting to go, clutching your bouquet in front of you, your thumb fiddling with the twine keeping it all together. Clusters of periwinkles, cornflowers, lavender and lilacs were peppered with baby's-breath and eucalyptus. You brought it to your nose, the sleepy perfume calming you down as you shifted your weight from side to side in your heels. 

The door opened and Camilla stepped into the room, eliciting a collective gasp from the bridal party, even you. Her jet black hair was slicked into a low bun, a veil cascading from it like a waterfall to the ground. Her dress was a pearly white; high neck and long sleeves, the beading catching in the sunlight that shone through the window. The train was long enough to rival royalty, her mother and father carrying it into the room behind her. 

The photographer was snapping pictures, moving around to catch each of the bridesmaids reactions. You glanced around to see them all carefully dabbing away tears, wondering if you were supposed to be crying too. You lifted a finger to your eye as he took your photo, not wanting to seem like the odd one out when they looked back over the album. 

"Right," said Camilla. "Let's go get married." 

It was two bridesmaids to a car; the dresses so big that you had to be packed and folded into the back seats like the stuffing of a pillow. You'd been put with Esther; the most laid back of the group, her soothing voice and charming laugh making the entire ordeal a little less mortifying. When the driver finally closed her door, she blew a loose strand of hair out of her face, turning to you and smirking. 

"Logistically, they should've just stuck us all in the back of a van," she said. 

You giggled. "Yeah, or one of those things they transport horses in." 

"Can you imagine," she laughed. 

The engine rumbled to life and you began to move, following in a long line of classic cars decorated with flowers. You returned to fiddling with the twine on your bouquet, breathing slow to loosen the knots forming in your stomach. You tried to focus on the view from your window as you travelled out of the countryside and into the small town, people stopping to look as you all drove past, the pretty views and brightening sky. You hadn't been back there in two months, and it was hard to look at the cobbled roads, thatched roofs and kitschy village shops without thinking of him, without knowing you were just a car ride away from facing him again. 

"Are you okay?" asked Esther.

"Hm?" You turned to look at her. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm good." 

"Are you sure? You seem more nervous than Cam, and she's the bride." 

You breathed out a weak laugh. "No, I'm fine, really. Just... churches, y'know. They make me uneasy." 

"Ah." She nodded, smoothing down a piece of her dress that had puffed up between you. "Well don't worry about that. If I can walk into a church then you definitely can." 

"What do you mean?" 

"I'm a trans woman, about to walk into a Catholic Church and stand in front of a priest who probably thinks I don't deserve to exist." 

"This one won't think that," you said. "He won't."

"How do you know? Have you met him?" 

"I have. And he's one of the good ones, I promise." 

She eyed you for a moment before smiling. "Well then you've got nothing to worry about either, have you." 

She reached over and squeezed your hand, holding it supportively for the rest of the journey. You felt bad, like you'd lied to her, taken her legitimate fear and used it to hide your own sordid truth. You'd tried to move on again, to get back to where you were before the day you found him in this town. But something was missing now, as though you'd left a piece of yourself behind, or maybe he'd taken it, and now nothing fit together right. 

The cars rolled to a stop outside the church. You could see the other bridesmaids gathering at the gates, their dresses fluttering together in a cloud of powder blue. The driver opened Esther's door first, taking her hand to help her out. And for a handful of seconds you were alone in the backseat, with nothing but the sound of your own breath, your nails raking over a fray in the twine you'd been fiddling with until it broke. 

"Oh, fuck sake," you whispered as the arrangement fell apart in your lap, stems and flowers and greenery sitting in the trough of your dress. 

You gathered it all back together frantically as your door opened, clutching it in your fist as you climbed out into the warm June breeze. Esther smiled at you, gesturing for you to come with her to join the others, then she looked down at the flowers in your hand, the piece of string in the other. 

"My god, you really are bricking it aren't you," she laughed, helping you tie it all back together. 

When you got to the other bridesmaids, your eyes darted across all of their bouquets, then down to yours. It looked like shit; too much green on one side, a clump of baby's-breath on the other, a broken stem of lavender hanging limply over your knuckles. You snapped it off and threw it to the ground behind you before anyone noticed. 

The bridal car pulled up and you watched as Camilla and her father climbed out, their smiles warmer than the summer air. You couldn't help but smile too, wondering if your own father would smile like that. He would. Though, he'd probably complain about having to wear a suit first.

You stared up at the church as you made your way towards it, blowing out slow, shaking breaths through pursed lips. 

"It's not about you, Ellis," you muttered to yourself. "This isn't about you." 

You felt an arm link yours, turning to see Esther at your side. She was looking straight ahead, pressing her lips together nervously, and you couldn't help but wonder if the arm she'd given was for your benefit or her's. 

The familiar musky aroma hit you as you walked into the church. You pushed your nose into your lopsided flowers, breathing in their scent instead, wishing you could tuck yourself away inside the petals like Thumbelina until it was all over. 

The organiser shifted you around, peeling you from Esther's side to arrange you in a line. You breathed a sigh of relief to find yourself somewhere in the middle, kicking the bottom of your dress out to stop it getting caught under your feet. Short steps, that's what the dressmaker had said. Little shuffles, a small kick if you feel it catching on your shoes. You were going to fall over. You just knew it. 

Music began to play in the chapel and the hum of chit chat fell silent. You took a deep breath, glancing over your shoulder to give Esther a reassuring smile, before turning back and staring down at the ground, waiting for your turn to walk. 

Lottie went first. Then Georgia, then Femi, then it was you. You turned the corner and stepped through the open chapel doors, taking the fastest small steps you possibly could, wishing you'd convinced Rav to choose the church with the tiny aisle instead. Heads were turned, women in large hats and extravagant fascinators, men with corsages on their lapels and children with wide eyes, all watching you with smiles as you made your way towards the altar. You kept your eyes on Femi in front, watching the way her dress moved so gracefully across the floor, hoping yours somehow looked the same. 

You finally raised your head when you reached the front, your eyes meeting Father Benedict's almost immediately. He was smiling softly, a crisp white stole draped around his neck. You notice his throat bob with a swallow, a glisten along the waterlines of his eyes. You could have cried. But then you looked at Rav, and you couldn't help but break into a smile. He was beaming, chest puffed, shifting on his feet with excited energy as he waited for his bride. He winked at you and you scrunched your nose happily before stepping aside to stand with the other bridesmaids. Esther followed behind you, then Alice. 

Father Benedict raised his hands and the music changed. There was a collective shuffle as everyone in the pews rose to their feet, turning to see Camilla enter the chapel, a bouquet in one hand, her father's fingers firmly clutched in the other. They walked together to the sweet sound of strings, her dress and veil trailing elegantly behind her. She kept her eyes on Rav the entire time, smiling, blushing, and you felt a selfish sense of pride wash over you. You'd introduced them. You'd known how perfect they would be for each other before they'd ever even met. And now here they were, just a year later, declaring their love in front of you all. 

"Hello everyone," said Father Benedict. "We are gathered here today to witness the marriage of Raviraj and Camilla. Let us call upon God to be with us today as we celebrate this union. In the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Peace be with you."  "And also with you," you said quietly, your voice lost amongst the collective.

"Let us pray."

You sat down as he began the prayer. You closed your eyes, allowing yourself to savour his voice, just for a moment. 

You wondered if he realised he was looking at you. Those striking blue eyes glancing over every few moments as he gave his first few readings, almost as though he was checking you were still there, making sure you hadn't been a figment of his imagination. You listened to him speak carefully; this was what he'd chosen, to share the word of his God, and he was good at it. 

"Raviraj and Camilla, you have come together today so that the Lord may seal and strengthen your love in the presence of your family and friends," he said. "And in doing so, you will be strengthened to keep mutual and lasting faith with each other as you carry out the duties of marriage. And so, in the presence of the church and of your family and friends, I ask you to state your intentions."

Rav and Camilla exchanged a glance and a nervous laugh. You smiled. 

"Raviraj and Camilla, have you come here to enter into marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly?" 

"I have," they both said. 

"Raviraj, are you resolved to take Camilla to be your wife: to love her, comfort her, honour and protect her, and forsaking all others, to be faithful to her for as long as you both shall live?" 

"I am," said Rav, pressing his lips together to hold back an excited grin. 

"Camilla, are you resolved to take Raviraj to be your husband: to love him, comfort him, honour and protect him, and forsaking all others, to be faithful to him for as long as you both shall live?"

"I am," said Camilla. 

"And are you, Raviraj Mishra free lawfully to marry Camilla Anne Bowen?" 

"I am." 

"Are you, Camilla Anne Bowen free lawfully to marry Raviraj Mishra?" 

"I am."  "Well that's lucky," said Father Benedict, getting a light chuckle from everyone, including the bride and groom. 

He was always so good at easing tension; knowing exactly when people needed a moment to laugh, a second to take a breath. 

"Since it is your intention to enter the covenant of Holy Matrimony, join your right hands and declare your consent before God and his church," he said, gesturing for them to hold hands. 

You watched on with pure joy as the couple said their vows, your cheeks aching from smiling, any nerves or apprehension you had melting away as you listened to them giggle and trip over their words. But every now and again, you would find your gaze slipping to Father Benedict; the smile lines, the crinkled brow, the curve of his lips as he laughed. 

"You were right, he is really nice, isn't he," Esther whispered as she leaned over to you.

You nodded. "He is. I'm really glad he's the one doing this." 

"Do we have rings?" he asked.

Rav's best man took a step forward, taking the rings from the breast pocket of his suit and handing them to Father Benedict. 

"Lovely, okay," he said, clearing his throat. "May the Lord bless these rings, which you will give to each other as a sign of love and fidelity. Amen." 

He handed Rav a ring. "Repeat after me: Camilla, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." 

"Camilla," said Rav. "Receive this ring as a sign of..." 

You slapped your face with your palm. Camilla rolled her eyes with a laugh. 

"Come on, I gave you the easy version of this as well," Father Benedict joked, drawing another laugh from the guests. "As a sign of my love and fidelity." 

"Camilla, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." 

He patted Rav on the shoulder like a proud father, and you couldn't help but smile.

"Give me the hard version," said Camilla, making him chuckle deeply in his throat. 

"Has to be the same, I'm afraid." He gave her the ring. "Raviraj, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." 

"Raviraj, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit," she said before slipping it onto his finger, smiling like she'd perfectly recited a Shakespeare soliloquy.

Father Benedict ran a hand through his hair. "Now this is where we would usually declare them husband and wife," he said, addressing the chapel. "However, Raviraj and Camilla have asked if they can read their own declarations which they have prepared. So I will now take a step back and allow Raviraj to begin." 

You sat up straighter, your ears pricking with curiosity as Rav reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, unfolding it with nervous fingers and clearing his throat. 

"Okay," he said, taking a deep breath. "Camilla. Before I met you, I'd stopped believing in love. And because of that, I'd grown comfortable on my own; complacent, maybe even a little bit jaded. But from the second I laid eyes on you, I was forced to confront everything I thought I knew. You made me realise that love isn't something you can just avoid. It's something you feel whether you want to or not, and it should be embraced and cherished and nurtured."

The paper was shaking in his hands, and it almost made you tear up. You placed a hand over your chest as you listened, glancing over at Father Benedict who hadn't taken his eyes off Rav since he began speaking. 

"You found me at a time when I didn't even realise I was lost. When I thought the only way to be strong was to be alone. You showed me that real strength lies in being vulnerable and honest and imperfect, in being brave enough to risk letting someone behind the barricade. Maybe you'll lose everything. Or maybe..." He gestured to Camilla. "You'll gain more than you had to begin with." 

Father Benedict looked at you, you knew because you could feel his gaze on your face like the sun's rays. But you kept yours on Rav.

"So today, I vow to you, Camilla, that I will always keep my heart open for you. I vow to choose you, every single day. You are my person, my partner, and the best risk I ever took." 

The sound of sniffling echoed through the chapel, and you watched as Camilla wiped a tear from her cheek. She cleared her throat, turning to Alice who took out a piece of paper and handed it to her quickly.

"Rav," she said as she unfolded the paper, her voice still wobbly. "When a little over a year ago, a friend told me I should meet her neighbour, I was skeptical." 

You smiled, like you'd been given a shout out on the radio, mentioned in an Oscars speech. Father Benedict held back a smirk as he watched your reaction, rubbing his mouth with his fingers to hide it.

"I was focused and career driven and believed that a relationship would only slow me down. So I said no to meeting you. But then, like an act of God." She gestured to the church around her with a shy laugh. "We ended up in the same bar one night, where that friend introduced us after all. And I am... so glad. Loving you was never a question; I adored you from the start. The fear was that I'd found my soulmate at the wrong time in my life." 

Your focus flitted to Father Benedict as you thought of the last thing he'd said to you. Right person, wrong everything else. He swallowed, his eyes glazed over as Camilla spoke. 

"But there came a point where I had to ask myself: If I were to look back on my life, what would I regret more? Missing out on a few promotions? Or missing out on a lifetime of loving you? There was no contest. Choosing you isn't just a decision. It's the best decision I've ever made. I don't want to wonder what could have been." She flipped her paper over to read the other side. "And what I've discovered is that I actually haven't had to give up anything. Because you have supported me and encouraged me and cheered me on in whatever I've chosen to do. So my promise to you, Rav, is to always do the same. I promise to love and encourage and cheer you on in whatever you do, and I promise to choose you every day, because the only thing worse than not being with you is the regret of never having tried." 

You brought your hands together to clap, stopping when you realised no one else was applauding. Instead there were tears, sharp sniffs and coughs. Father Benedict stepped back up to them, clearing his throat and curling his mouth into a sincere smile. 

"That was beautiful," he said. "Now, let us humbly invoke God's blessing upon this bride and groom, that in his kindness he may favour with his help those on whom he has bestowed the bond of marriage." 

"Closer if you can, Darlin'," said the photographer from behind his camera. 

You shuffled closer to the groomsman you'd been placed beside, so close your hip was now pressing against him. Surely this was close enough. You held your bouquet in front of you and smiled as the camera snapped in quick succession. 

The sun was gleaming now in a clear blue sky, the air growing humid as you all stood outside the church for photos. The confetti you'd thrown was fluttering across the grass in the light breeze, the cars waiting near the road to take you to the reception. 

"That's lovely," said the photographer. "If you on the end there could just turn your body inwards a bit please." 

Lottie turned as the camera snapped again. 

You were standing in a meticulously organised row; six groomsmen and six bridesmaids, slotted together and posed in your blue dresses and their matching blue ties and pocket squares. Your groomsman was Rav's cousin Niall, who kept making you laugh by muttering things under his breath. 

"You, love, you're going to have to get closer than that," said the photographer. 

"Me?" You pointed to yourself. 

"If you can please, darlin'." 

"Jesus, any closer and we'll have to use protection," said Niall quietly.

You laughed through your nose, trying to hold it in as the camera shutter went off again. 

Across the grass, Rav and Camilla were standing together, stealing kisses and holding hands beneath the shade of a large tree. You felt warm watching them, unsure if you'd ever been this unequivocally happy for someone else before. Your eyes moved over the groups of guests to the church, your heart stopping for a moment when you saw Father Benedict standing at the top of the steps near the entrance. 

He was out of his white alb and stole now, standing with his hands in the pockets of his trousers, a black shirt rolled up at the sleeves and white clerical collar around his neck. He met your gaze for a moment and you gave him a soft smile. He smiled back, but it seemed sad, even from so far away. 

"Can we do a funny one?" asked Georgia.

The rest of you groaned in unison, but it was too late, the photographer already coming over to reposition the group. He turned you all sideways, your back to Niall's chest, his back to Esther's and so on until it looked like a twelve person queue.

"This is a bit human centipede-y, don't you think?" Niall called out to him.

"Do you think he's going to have us conga all the way back to the manor?" Esther joked.

Niall laughed. "Ellis is leading so we'd all be fucked." 

You elbowed him. 

"Alright, after three you're all going to kick out your leg and lean back on the person behind you!" the photographer shouted. 

"Oh cheers, Georgia, this is just wonderful," said one of the groomsmen. 

"I just wanted to pull some funny faces," she shouted back. "I didn't think he'd have us doing fucking Cirque du Soleil!" 

You looked over at Father Benedict again, shaking your head at him. His shoulders shook with a gentle laugh, his hand covering a smile. 

The photographer moved on to Camilla and Rav's parents soon after. You stayed on the grass, trying to rearrange your bouquet as your heels sank into the soft earth beneath you. You looked over at the other bridesmaids, watching as they all found their partners amongst the chaos; Alice and her husband talking to Femi and her fiancé, Lottie sitting on the church steps FaceTiming her boyfriend in Australia as Georgia introduced her girlfriend to Esther and her boyfriend. You bit the inside of your cheek, returning your attention to the flowers in your hand.

"Ellie!" 

You looked up to see Blossom running towards you. 

"Hi," you said, bending down to hug her before pulling back to look at her dress, the mint green material covered in a subtle frog print. "You look so cute." 

She smiled as Lorna caught up behind her, placing a hand lovingly on top of her daughter's head.

"So you compromised on her wearing the frog onesie to the wedding, then," you said. 

She nodded. "Praise the lord." 

You laughed. 

She slid her sunglasses onto her head, her almost-knee-length hair falling in loose waves down her back. She was wearing a long, sunflower print dress with exaggerated bell sleeves, a pair of wooden clogs with hand-painted soles. You didn't realise you were staring at her until she narrowed her eyes at you. 

"What is it?" she asked. 

"Oh, sorry. Sometimes I just wish I was you." 

"Don't be silly." She laughed and patted your arm. "I'm just going to see Rav. Are you coming Blossom?"

The little girl didn't move. You looked at Lorna and smiled. "I'll stay with her."

She thanked you as she walked away, and you returned to plucking stray leaves from your bouquet. You looked down to see Blossom running her fingers over your dress, quietly admiring the appliqués.

"Do you like it?" you asked. 

She nodded.

"I'll save it for you. You can have it when you're older." 

She smiled shyly. 

You crouched down, resting on your haunches to look at the dress with her, turning at the waist so she could see the back. 

Father Benedict was still standing at the top of the church steps, leaning against the open door as he stared off into space. But he seemed to sense that you were looking at him, glancing down to catch your gaze. 

You wanted to talk to him. Not about what happened, not about the two of you or your feelings or religion or anything. You just wanted to talk. About the weather, about how his day was going, about what he was going to have for dinner. There had to be a part of you that was still capable of that. 

Blossom pointed to one of the appliqués near the hem of your dress. "This one is my favourite," she said.

She didn't talk a lot, so whenever she did it took you by surprise. You returned your attention to her immediately. 

"Really? I like that one too. And this one here." 

You looked back up to find him smiling; a soft, sincere smile that made your heart ache. 

"Ellis, our car's ready to go!" Esther shouted across the grass. 

You stood up, taking Blossom's hand to lead her back to Lorna, allowing one last glance back at the church steps. 

A strange sense of calm washed over you as you looked at him, like there was comfort in your last memory of him being in the place he'd chosen to stay. 

You weren't sure how you'd ended up in the middle of the dance floor, huddled amongst a huge group of women as they squashed together in excitement. You'd intended to stay on the outskirts, but someone had pulled you, another accidentally pushing you further inward, until eventually you were at the heart of the cluster, watching as Camilla turned her back, counting down from three. 

Her bouquet came flying towards you, but instead of catching it, you ducked, letting it soar over your head and into the hands of a woman behind you. She jumped and cheered, the rest of the women laughing and clapping as her boyfriend jokingly made a run for the door. 

"God, Ellis, tell me you're scared of commitment without telling me you're scared of commitment," said Camilla, laughing as she walked over to you. 

"Well my natural reaction to things flying at my head is to duck," you said with a shrug. 

A waiter walked past with a tray of champagne. She plucked one off it and took a large gulp.

"The world's not running out of champagne, Cam," you said. 

"Sorry," she mumbled, wiping the corner of her mouth with her hand. "This whole wedding's just been so stressful. All that drama with the planner, and then the fucking church burning down." 

"Maybe it was her. Set fire to it out of spite because you sacked her." 

She laughed. "Wouldn't put it past her. We're just so lucky we got the church we did. He was nice wasn't he. The priest. Made it really... not boring."

"Yeah, he was... It was good." 

She cocked her head, brow furrowing slightly. "What?" 

"What?" 

"You just seem really sad." 

"I'm not sad. I'm not." You looked around the busy hall. "Lonely, yes. Sad, no." 

"Oh, Ellis, don't say that, you're breaking my heart."

You rolled your eyes. "I'm only joking. Go and enjoy your wedding for Christ's sake." 

She eventually disappeared into the sea of guests as you made your way over to the bar. You ordered a drink and plonked yourself back down at your table, resting your cheek on your fist as you sipped it slowly. 

The large hall was dark, flashing with colourful disco lights and strobes as the DJ played music from a deck in the corner. You watched people enjoying themselves; the funny dance-walk they'd do as they made their way to the floor, the buttons of men's shirts coming further undone as they got drunker and sweatier, the kids being told off for sliding on their knees in their good clothes.

Your table was empty since Lorna had taken Blossom home, the bridesmaids up dancing and catching up with people they knew on the other side of the room. You didn't mind, always finding parties more of an obligation than they were fun; you hated having to shout down people's ears just to have a conversation, being pressured to get up and dance, losing your seat if you left it for too long. You much preferred to sit on the edge of the room, nursing a drink and people watching. You were Ellis Attenborough, observing humans in their natural habitat. 

The music lowered and the multicoloured lights melted to a warm white. You looked around in confusion as the noise of the hall seemed to hush suddenly. 

"Ladies and gentleman, please join me in welcoming the new Mr and Mrs Mishra to the floor for their first dance as husband and wife," said the DJ over the speakers.

The room erupted into cheers and applause. You clapped along as Rav took Camilla's hand and led her to the centre of the empty dance floor. She'd changed dresses, swapping her ornate, bountiful gown for a sleek, elegant slip. You watched as the photographer scurried around them, trying to get a good shot as they wrapped their arms around each other and began to sway to the music. 

You hated yourself for thinking of him as you watched them dance. You hated that you felt jealous, persecuted, forced to spend the rest of your life as a spectator to other people's love stories from the corner of the room. You'd never been certain of what you wanted, and there was something so cruel in knowing now; knowing that you did want the marriage, the children, the brushing teeth side by side in the mirror each morning and washing dishes while the other dried them in the evenings. You wanted the fights, the sex, the anniversaries, the dates. You wanted to be a girlfriend, then a fiancé, then a wife. And if there really was a God, he was a fucking arsehole for taking all of those wants and putting them into a man you could never have. For setting up the dominoes so perfectly and then moving the last one just an inch too far to fall. 

The song was still going, and you watched as other couples began to join them on the dance floor, moving in their own little bubbles, smiling, kissing, embracing. You got up and weaved through the crowd towards the exit, stepping out of the hall into the vast, empty foyer of the stately home.

You grabbed the hem of your dress, lumping the abundance of material in your arms as you made your way through the front doors and out into the cool night air. Your ears were ringing, the noise of the party a distant hum as you walked down the steps and over the gravel towards the gardens. There were a few people dotted over the grounds, a couple walking hand-in-hand through the flower gardens, a man in a three piece suit smoking a cigarette as he sat on the grass, a woman waiting for a cab near the long driveway. 

You trudged over the grass with your dress balled up in your arms, drinking in deep breaths as you prepared yourself to go back inside. You turned around, taking in the full view of the manor, the stars above so bright and unpolluted by city light. 

You held your middle finger up at the sky. "Fuck you," you said. "You won. Well done." 

The man with the cigarette gave you an awkward look. 

"I'm talking to God," you said. "He's a prick." 

"Ah." He nodded.

You let out an exasperated sigh and walked back towards the house, almost tripping when your heel got caught in the grass. The noise from the reception grew louder as you made it back onto the gravel, and you wondered if you should just go straight upstairs to your room, lie down and begin nursing the inevitable headache. You reached into your bra for your key card, pulling it out and immediately dropping it, listening as it clattered down each step you'd just climbed. 

"Of course," you muttered, turning around to walk back down when a figure emerged from the dark. 

His footsteps crunched slowly as his tall frame came into view. You stopped, back straightening, blinking rapidly as your brain tried to catch up with your eyes. 

"Hi," said Father Benedict, his voice so quiet the breeze almost carried it away. 

"Hi..." you replied, brows coming together in confusion. 

He picked up the key card and held it out to you.

"Thanks," you said, walking down the last few steps and taking it from him. "I... I didn't think priests usually got invited to the reception..." 

"I wasn't invited," he said, awkwardly scratching the back of his head. "I erm, it was actually quite stalkerish if I'm honest, I'm- I'm not proud of it. I asked around the town and found out where they were having it." 

"Oh." You looked over your shoulder to the open doors. "Well I'm sure they won't mind that you're here. They seemed to really like y-"

"I came to find you." 

"To find me?" 

"To tell you that this morning was my last service." 

"You're moving churches again?" 

"I'm leaving the clergy." 

You fell silent, looking around in bewilderment. "Wh- I don't und- Why?" 

"You know why." 

You stared at him for a moment, then your eyes grew wide. "No," you breathed. "No. You can't- You can't."

"Well I have." 

"Wh- Wh... When did you...?" 

"Today." 

You lost your grip on the skirt of your dress, the material falling from your arms to the floor. "Why would you do that?" 

He didn't answer, looking down at you like you already knew. 

"Ben..." 

"I can live without this." He pointed to his collar, before shaking his head, his voice cracking. "I don't think I can live without you." 

Your lips parted, a breath escaping like your lungs had caved in. Your eyes were beginning to water because you'd forgotten how to blink, your heart thumping in time with the music inside. 

"Ellis," he whispered. 

"Are you playing a trick on me?"

He breathed out a laugh, shaking his head as he moved closer and brought his hands up to cup your face. He tilted your head back slightly and leaned down, placing a slow, tender kiss on your lips. When he stopped, he let his forehead rest against yours, looking into your eyes as you struggled to form a coherent sentence. 

"But what... What if- If it didn't work out? Then-"

"Then I'd be thankful I got to love you. Openly, completely. Even if it was just for a little while." 

"You're not thinking clearly. You're giving up everything-"

"I'm gaining everything."

You shook your head in disbelief. 

Another quiet laugh rumbled in his throat. "Ellis," he said. "What do you want?" 

You paused, staring up at him. "I want to brush my teeth with you." 

"What?" 

You shook your head, throwing your arms around the back of his neck and pulling him into another kiss. His hands slid down from your face to wrap around your waist, hugging you tight as your lips moved in perfect tandem. You felt him smile, and you smiled too, weaving your fingers into the back of his hair.

Rav and Camilla wandered through the doors, taking a few steps before stopping suddenly. 

"Is that... Ellis... kissing our priest...?" asked Rav.

Camilla grabbed his arm and they slowly retreated back inside. 

Ben broke away, bringing his hands back to your face as he stared down at you. "Right person," he said. "Full stop."

*Tags: @evelynrosestuff @thealleydog @lexlexigogh @allie131313 @simpingbestie @ironstrange1991 @witchoftheages @hiddendiary @swds @jyessaminereads @withalittlehoney @hunterofshadows04 @slytherindoctorsat221b @diabaroxa @phoebe221 @hai-kbai @downtownshabby @dara-of-qui-zi @unfilteredmoonchild @classicrebound @bigratbitchsworld @aphroditesdilemma @bloodyxsaint @ployavengersog1 @spectaclebitch @paola-carter @gordorio @shjl15 @thedaredevilsgirl @howardtonypotts @ceccille @wllsfer @thelostsmiles @vi0letdaze @stanfanfiction @king-kongbebe-blog @sof38 @doctorscarletwitch @rmoonstoner @intrappolatatrairicordi @ehuether @dragonqueen89 @estheticwh0re @Lfp10836 @kanyewestest @star-girl-05 @theothersideofthescreen @battledress @chaosdorito @vlqueen @erratica47 @happybunnyclumsyduck @bloggerbatch @bimrwolf @chaand-sitara @dude-where-s-my-tardis @run-clever-boy @j3mj3rrica

[wh0re43van]

Maneater- (Jimmy Darling X Reader)

Summary: it’s your first week at the freakshow as a sword swallower and fire eater. Almost everyone has taken an immediate liking to you, especially Jimmy. (Literally only wrote this because I want to deep throat Jimmy)

Warnings: smut, blowjob, kinda public

Word count: 2.3k

I sit on the edge of the wooden stage in the main tent as I clean my swords. the small amount of afternoon sun leaks in through the openings of the red and white canopy, bringing the blistering Florida heat with it. I absentmindedly wipe the sweat on my brow with the same rag I’m sanitizing the sleek metal with, then immediately break into a fit of coughs as the fumes from the rubbing alcohol choke me out.

‘This heat is melting my brain’ I think to myself as I catch my breath as best I can in the hot sticky air. You’d think as a fire breather I’d be used to it, but this August haze is brutal.

Being from New England originally, this suffocating humidity is a far cry from what I consider comfortable, but a gig is a gig. Elsa was more than pleased to hire me when I pulled up with a unique act and my own caravan last week. I’ve worked with a lot of carnies in my day, but the group here is truly one of a kind. Almost everyone took an immediate liking to me. Ethel did her best to make me my favorite dessert as a welcome gift, Desiree insisted on taking me shopping, and Eve has let me sleep in her caravan with her for the week since mine isn’t yet hooked up to electric or water.

“Not even a dog should have to sleep in this heat without a fan,” Eve insisted. All the women have quickly become my closest friends, except for-

“I hope you’re pleased with yourself,” Maggie’s shrill voice cuts through the thick air with ease as she stomps into the tent.

“What are you on about now?” I roll my eyes as I set my swords to the side, walking down the rickety wooden steps that creak under my weight.

Maggie has given me shit since the first time she saw Jimmy flirting with me, which was about 30 seconds after my arrival. Her and Jimmy seemed to have some sort of relationship which he assured was “purely casual”, but Maggie doesn’t seem to agree.

“You have Jimmy out there in this heat wave crawling around messing with your stupid trailer! He could have a heat stroke,” the ‘psychic’ scolds me. I step up to the mousy bitch, adjusting my bathing suit top and brushing the dust off my denim shorts.

“He volunteered to do that for me, so mind your own fucking business… Ya know, in all the carnivals I’ve worked at, I never met a medium that couldn’t take a fuckin hint,” I say lowly, glaring at her. Her face goes red with anger.

“I don’t see how Elsa could hire such an ill-mannered hussy. You surely aren’t doing any favors for the reputation of the show,” I can tell that she’s trying to remain composed, but her voice comes out a shrill whine.

“This hussy earned over 500 bucks in the first four days I was here,” I remind her, laughing at how stupid her attempt at a come back was. Maggie tilts her head and narrows her eyes.

“I’m surprised you even charge money for your act since you prance around here with your tits out shoving shit down your throat for free,” she small lady growls, motioning to my bathing suit top for emphasis.

‘Damn’ I’m a bit shocked by this statement and it shows on my face, but I scoff before pulling the corner of my mouth into a smirk.

“Why don’t we ask Jimmy-“ I begin, but I’m cut off by Jimmy himself.

“Ask me what?” he smiles as he takes a gulp of water out of the glass in his hand. The energy in the room immediately shift as both of us turn to look at him, plastering fake smiles on our faces as we adjust our outfits and hair.

“Ask you, uhm, how you always manage to get such a crowd when you work the carousel. It must be all the girls wanting a ride with you,” I let out a nervous giggle, nudging the bitch to my side. She nods and laughs unconvincingly. At least we can agree on how embarrassing it would for Jimmy to hear us bickering over him like schoolgirls. Luckily, he seems none the wiser to the cat fight that he just accidentally broke up.

Jimmy chuckles as he walks up to us, leaning against the base of the stage. I don’t make any effort to hide my lingering scan of his body. His worn-out blue jeans and white tank top that’s clinging to his toned chest with sweat is covered in the orange dust of Florida’s crust. The veins in his arms are prominent on his slick sun kissed skin that’s dotted with smears of what appear to be grease.

“You’d see me blushing if my face wasn’t sunburnt as all hell,” Jimmy flashes his dimples as he runs his conjoined fingers through his sweat drenched curls. “I’m glad you’re here Maggie, Elsa’s lookin’ for ya,” he informs the blonde. She seems to be happy just to get the smallest bit of attention from the boy.

“Oh, okay. Why don’t you come to my caravan in a little bit. I have a surprise for you,” she says to Jimmy, but her eyes are locked on me, unfortunately for her, Jimmy’s eyes are also locked on me.

“Uh sure Doll, go on now. Don’t leave Elsa waitin’,” the boy says, eyeing me up and down with a grin as he motions his head towards the exit. Maggie smirks at me as if this is some kind of feat before walking out of the tent.

“So,” I smile as I boost myself up on the stage, dangling my feet over the side. “What can I do for you?” I bat my lashes at the sweaty boy.

“I need your pretty hands for one last thing and then you should have electricity,” Jimmy hums, then motions to my swords on the stage. “But if you’re trying to rehearse,” he walks over to the first row of collapsible wooden chairs, taking a seat. “I’ll take my payment in the form of a private show” he leans back, wiping a bit of sweat off his brow. I smile mischievously, standing up and grabbing the three dull swords.

“Well That’s not fair to you,” I tisk as the metal clanks in my hands in. “I’m not even in costume,” I smirk as I pace to the center of the stage.

“Oh trust me doll, this little number you have on right here compliments you just as well as that corset and stockings you dance around in,” he smirks as his drift from my legs to my face, earning a grin from me.

“Well I’m not gonna argue with that,” I laugh before clearing my throat, starting my monologue.

I tun through the first half of my 15 minute routine, Jimmys attention glued to me the entire time. He watches intently as I easily drop two swords down my esophagus, and twist them around before pulling them out one by one. My epiglottis burns as the metal slides through the small opening. I wipe the spit from my mouth, taking a bow as Jimmys applause bounces off the canvas walls.

“Thank You,” I giggle, my voice comes out a bit hoarse as I kneel down by my torches and lamp oil, then I notice I don’t have water to wet my rag. “Gentleman in the front row, could I borrow that glass of water,” I grin, using my ‘show voice’. He happily hops up, bring the glass to the stage. I crawl over to the edge, then sit up on my knees so that my face is even with his. “Thank you, sir,” I grin, holding Jimmys gaze as I take the cup from his hands, brushing my fingers over his.

“I’m honored to be involved in the act,” he breaths as he reaches out, running a thumb over my lip. I grin before licking a strip up the digit, making his eyes go wide.

“If You really want to be a special guest, come join me back stage,” I hum, leaning forward as I take his other hand in mine, tugging him a bit. Without a moments hesitation Jimmy hoists himself up on the stage and pulls me just behind the curtain before he crashes his lips into mine, pinning me to the wall

“You don’t know the things ya do to me, baby,” Jimmy pants against my lips as his hands grab at my body desperately. I giggle into the rough kiss and wrap my arms around his neck.

“I think it’s pretty obvious,” I hum as I reach between us, running my hand over his obvious errciton. Jimmy moans, bucking his hips towards the contact.

“Can ya blame me?” He chuckles lowly before moving his mouth to my neck, leaving wet kisses over my sweaty skin. “It ain’t often that I get attention from a dime like you,” he chuckles lowly against my skin as his large hands grab my ass.

“I guess todays your lucky day then,” I giggle as I turn Jimmy around, pushing his back into the wall. “I just want to thank you for working on my caravan for me,” I purr as I slowly drop down to my knees. His eyes watch intently as I pop open his belt buckle. Jimmy swallows hard, his adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as his mouth hangs agape.

“It’s my pleasure, honestly doll. You don’t have to do this-” Jimmy protests weakly as he wipes a bead of sweat off his forehead. His breath hitches when I abruptly yank his pants and boxers down in one swift motion, his heavy cock springing out of its confines.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I smile before licking a strip from base to tip, Jimmy sighs at the contact. “I’ve been thinking about this for a while,” I bat my lashes at him as he looks down at me, his bottom lip tucked under his teeth. “Plus id rather practice on you then those other swords anyway,” I smirk before taking him into my mouth.

He throws his head back, a low growl bubbling from his throat in satisfaction. Jimmy looks down at me with a slack jaw as he watches me take all of him in my throat until my nose is flush with the small patch of hair around his base. His hand finds its way to the back of my head as I begin bobbing up and down on him.

“Just like that, Doll… holy shit,” Jimmy hisses as his face contorts in pleasure. I giggle to myself as I wrap my arms around his legs, allowing him thrust into my face.

My knees dig into the unfinished wood of the stage- sure to leave splinters- as Jimmy violates my throat. His chest starts to heave as he finds his rhythm, filling the tent with low moans and my gagging.

I look at Jimmy through blurry, tear stained vision and I swear I could cum right now. His eyes are screwed shut as his mouth hangs open, letting out the unholiest of sounds I’ve ever heard. His strong arms, shiny with sweat, are flexed so hard that I can see veins popping out of them as he holds onto my hair like his life depends on it.

As Jimmy is lost in pleasure, completely oblivious to anything else around him, I hear shuffling in the side entrance of the tent. I’m about to pull away when I hear Maggie’s whiny voice.

“Jimmy are you still-“ she asks before she freezes, her face goes pale as her jaw drops. The boy doesn’t doesn’t even realize that he’s cutting her off when he moans,

“Jesus Christ baby, I’ve never seen someone look so pretty while gagging on cock,” his voice is breathy and low, but Maggie definitely heard because seconds later she shrieks before running out of the tent. “What was that?” Jimmy asks, slowing his hips, he looks down at me with glazed eyes, as if he’s in another dimension. I pull Away, gasping for breath as I take his slick cock into my hand, breaking the thick strings of spit.

“Don’t worry about it, baby,” I giggle, still trying to catch my breath as I slide my hand over his length. “I just want you to cum in my mouth, okay? Can you do that for me?” I hum as I place his tip between my lips, licking lightly. Jimmys eyes flutter as he groans, watching me rub him over my lips.

“Jesus Christ,” is all he manages to groan before he’s thrusting back into my mouth. It doesn’t take long for him to reach his climax. Jimmy is a cursing, sweaty mess as his cock twitches on my tongue before shooting his sticky release down my throat. I moan at the sensation as he pulls out, falling limp against the wall. “Come here,” he pants out, barely audible as he grabs me up off the floor, pulling me into a wet sloppy kiss. I grin against his lips as hands move to the buttons on my shorts.

“Uh uh,” i tisk as i slap his hands away. He looks at me confused. “This was my payment to you,” I smile as I fix my outfit.

“And Im more than grateful,” he chuckles as he pulls his pants back up. “But id like to return the favor, doll,” he smirks as he reaches out to try to pull my into his arm. I step the side before turning to leave.

“Oh you don’t have time Jimmy. I think Maggie’s looking for you,” I smirk before giving him a peck on the cheek. I can feel his gaze burning into my back I was down the rickety steps and out of the tent.

[s-4pphics]

scent of the pine. 4 (e.w)

we back in this shit like we never left y’all 😳

wc;cw 10.7k ohhh not again, sistersbestfriend!ellie, guitarist/producer!ellie, violinist!oc, age gap(three years), all ocs r black coded <3, FLUFF i know shocker, but slight angst bc i’m devious like that🤭, domestic ellie with a cat, some crack :p, SMUT UH OHHH MDNI, dubcon(ellie is high), weed, sexual tension yall already knowww, thigh riding, fingering, eating out no restaurant, mult. orgasms, squirting, dirty talk, one pussy slap, overstim, ellie’s tongue is pierced yes that’s a warning lol, masturbation, more stunna girl promo someone pay me, this is cute tbh lol

“Your girlfriend is living lavish. GYYYAATTT— “ 

“Arya, can you please shut up! She’s not my girlfriend!” 

“No bitch, you needa shut the hell up! I drove you here and I will leave you!” 

You and an irritated Arya (she’s not herself when she’s hungry!) were parked outside of Ellie’s very… expensive looking apartment building. It looked like there were about thirty floors to it with lots of windows. You knew she had accumulated a following due to the reaction people had to her on New Year’s Eve, but you weren’t expecting her to be living like an actual celebrity. She was fucking rich, now. You couldn’t wrap your head around it. 

Arya must’ve noticed the nervous, intimidated look on your face as you gazed at the building because you immediately felt a soft hand on yours. “Hey, you’re gonna be fine. She seems more than willing to talk and apologize! I’m gonna be here the whole time and you come down when you’re ready, okay?” 

You looked over to your best friend—the light of your life—and nodded. You’ve never been so appreciative of someone before. She made you feel so calm—

“With that being said, just know if she says anything outta line, I’m telling your sister and we’re jumpin’ her ass, no question!” she said seriously before encouragingly slapping your thigh. “Go ‘head, love you.” 

“…Love you more.” She made you feel calm enough.

Your friends are so…. supportive!

You exited Arya’s car as you waved to her, her giving you two thumbs up in return. 

Here goes nothing. 

You took in the building as you entered…. this was some Michelin star shit! 

Marble floors, white walls edged with gold frames, women wrapped in trench coats with puppies in their purses! What the fuck is going on—

You were even starting to second guess your attire. You wore a simple black puffer, hoodie, and sweatpants. Should you have dressed… better? More presentable? You were starting to get a bit insecure. 

You pulled your phone out to distract yourself from second-guessing your appearance (or lack thereof!) and opened your texts with Ellie. You started typing. 

hey. i’m downstairs. 

You immediately saw her chat bubble pop up before her reply came through. 

cool i’ll be down in 2 mins 

You sighed a heavy sigh as you shut your phone off. Don’t overthink, you thought. You’re here to talk and that’s it! Nothing more, nothing less. 

Don’t lie, slut! 

Your brain hates you! It fucking hates you—!

Your train of thought immediately shut off as you saw Ellie walk out of the elevator. She looked so…warm. She had on a black beanie and sweatsuit, little marijuana fuzzy socks, and slippers. 

You missed seeing this side of her. So relaxed and comfortable. 

She walked over to you with a timid expression before finally muttering a hi, and you muttered one back. 

You could tell she was nervous: her thumbs were fidgeting, she wouldn’t look you in your eyes for too long, and she was licking at her slightly chapped lips. 

“We should, um… go upstairs?” She asked quietly, like speaking too loudly would frighten you. 

You only nodded gently. She nodded back before turning, leading you towards the elevators. 

You found out Ellie lived on the… nineteenth floor. What the fuck? Wasn’t the golden rule of apartments: the higher you are, the more expensive it is?! What the fuck was she doing up here?

“My place is down the hall,” she said over her shoulder. You took note of the shakiness in her voice. You’ve never seen her so skittish before. Was it because of you? 

She unlocked the third from the last door and opened it, allowing you entry. You took in her place and… holy fuck!

Her apartment… her loft was fucking immaculate!

Her living room was huge: plush, gray couch that was stocked with matching pillows, black and green rugs littering the floor, TV mounted on the wall, black glass coffee table, and her dual monitor setup (you see that black kitten ears headset! was she a fucking gamer?!). There were black details everywhere on the walls, floors, and spiral staircase that led into her bedroom what the fuck?! You could see where she slept… and you were still downstairs! 

And her fucking black marble kitchen! You were in love! You never cooked a day in your life, but you will gladly start now if it means you can stay in there forever! 

“Ellie, who the fuck are you?” you asked, shocked and dazed. 

She seemed to relax at your question as she softly chuckled, shyly looking down at her socked feet. 

“I’ll tell you everything you wanna know. Come sit with me.” She said, nodding towards her couch. It was slightly sunken in; she must’ve been napping there! You unlaced your boots and removed your coat, holding it in your hands. As you followed her towards the couch to sling your coat over the back, a soft jingle, followed by soft paddling on the floor caught you off guard. You turned to see a small, green-eyed Bombay cat next to the kitchen counter, curiously staring at you. 

You let out a gasp of excitement at the little baby before looking at a surprised Ellie, grabbing her wrist joyfully. 

“Ellie, oh my god! Why didn’t you tell me you had a cat?! It’s so cute, boy or girl?! How old is it— “ 

“She’s a.. she’s a girl. Seven months.” 

“She’s soooo cute! Oh my god! I always wanted a cat! What’s her name? Oh, look at her little princess collar— “

You turned back to her: she had an expression that you didn’t recognize, and you hadn't realized how close you’d gotten during your jumpy, hyper kitty questions. You felt her breathing against your face as she studied it, and you studied her back. 

Why were you suddenly thinking about that night? You kissing her, her kissing back, her grabbing you like she never wanted to let you go again. Her eyes slowly dropped to your mouth, and yours did the same. All you had to do was lean forward again—

A quiet meow! snapped you out of your lustful haze before you looked down and backed away. You noticed Ellie hadn’t moved from her position when you looked back up, eyes still searching for… something. 

“She’s.. she’s cute,” you said as you cleared your throat, walking towards the cushiony space. “Let’s sit.” 

She silently nodded and sat next to you. 

Deep breath. Exhale. 

Let’s get this over with! your brain shouted. 

“I’m so sorry. I never regretted anything so much in my life. I treated your sister like fucking garbage—I treated you like garbage and I’ve never felt so terrible— “

“Ellie, breathe,” you cut off her nervous mumbles. You just sat down! “I’m not… upset with you anymore. And you're not the only one who fucked up, either. It wouldn’t be an apology if I didn’t take some accountability too.” 

You watched her relax before confusion overtook her expression. You explained yourself, blushing as you recalled the events of that night. “I know… New Year’s wasn’t the best first meeting after…. you know. I wanted to apologize for how I… reacted and what I did. It wasn’t okay at all—” 

There was a moment of silence before she broke it, eyebrows still pulled downward as she stuttered. “You don’t... You don’t have to apologize for that. I um…. like, it was fine. Well, it wasn’t fine—we were drunk and whatever, but, yeah, I don’t think of you differently, or, what I mean is— “

You laughed lightly at her nervousness. She shook her head with a sheepish smile before she hit her mint elf bar that she pulled out of her pocket, blowing the smoke away from your face. 

“I’m not sure if you can tell, but I’m scared shitless.” 

“I think you’re making it obvious,” you said as you chuckled and continued. 

She paused as she collected her thoughts, staring down at the couch. “I said a lot of… fucked up shit when I met up with your sister after everything happened. About her… about you. I don't know how much she told you but… I said things that I regretted immediately. I was angry and hurt… and I felt cornered, and I lashed out. Doesn’t excuse it at all, but… yeah, it was gross’n uncalled for.”

“She told me everything. All of it,” You tried to ignore the sting in your heart as you recalled that night. She nodded her head shamefully. You continued. 

“Why didn’t you reach out after your birthday?” You pressed as softly as you could manage. 

She didn’t answer immediately as you watched her breathe deeply. 

“I…” She stuttered before whispering. “I was scared.” 

“Of?” You pressed again, tone more urgent. 

“Of you both never talking to me again,” She said, confusing you before she clarified. “I held it off for so long because I needed to think about my approach. I felt if I immediately called you, you wouldn’t wanna talk to me because of how fresh it was. But I also…I don’t know, it’s fuckin’ stupid.” 

You shook your head at her. “I'm just…I’m confused because I never, like, hated you or anything like that after we left your party. I want you to know that,” you said seriously, your nerves making you stutter. “I was sad and embarrassed, but never… hateful, if that makes sense. Even when I tried to be afterwards, it never came.” 

You noticed her expression drop slightly at the mention of hate before she replied softly. “I’d understand if you did. What I said to you and your sister was fucking disgusting… I don’t know if she’ll ever forgive me for what I said.” 

“She’s been… stubborn, I won’t lie. I don’t know what state of mind she’s in when it comes to you, to be honest. I just know she’s still hurting.” 

Ellie nodded in acknowledgment as she looked down, but you could see the sorrowful look overtake her face at your admission. It made your heart stutter. You watched as she hit her nic again. 

Just as you were about to move to comfort her, your phone dinged, and dinged, from your pocket. You unlocked your phone and saw a slew of texts from Arya. 

ari: is she giving you “i’m sorry” head yet?

ari: im bored bro being a good friend is tiring 😐🙄

ari: i know her strap is bright red and THICK 

ari: like a fire hydrant!!

ari: how tf r u gonna walk outta that big ass building!!🚷🚷🚷

You clenched and blushed heavily at the suggestion, clicking your phone off and dropping it in your lap out of embarrassment. You looked back up at her with a mortified expression and she… was smirking. And then she smiled. And laughed. She’d been looking at your screen the whole time. Why didn’t you angle the screen away from her?!

She saw them. She saw the messages!

You want to die you want to die you want to die—

“Your friend’s funny,” she said as she blew out a waft of smoke around her giggles. 

“I’m—I’m so fuckin’ sorry, she’s crazy and gross! —“ 

She laughed harder and shook her head. “No, you're good, don’t worry.” 

You fell back on her couch (it felt like a fucking cloud!) with your face in your hands as you thought about the type of casket you wanted for your funeral. 

But… oh, fuck. 

You felt her body move on the couch before you felt her weight crawl on top of you and oh god what the fuck!

She pulled at your forearms to slide your hands off of your warm face, but you refused to open your eyes there was no way you’re opening your fucking eyes right now—

“Look at me.” 

You shook your head. She smelled so good, she smelled so good! Your body clenched tight, you were so horny, and you wanted her bad and was her dick like a fire hydrant?!—

“Open ‘em, c’mon, wanna see you!” you heard the smile in her voice. 

You missed her smile so bad, and you moved on autopilot, slowly opening your eyes and taking in the sight above you. She was cheesing so hard, a light blush painted across her freckles, beanie discarded and hair everywhere from her messing with it out of nervousness when you sat down. She looked so much more comfortable in your presence, and it made your heart skip with joy. You couldn’t help but smile back at her. 

What you didn’t expect was for her to take your wrists in her calloused hands, pin them either side of your head, and bend down to whisper it’s not red, it’s purple, but yeah! before you turned away from her to suffocate yourself in her cushions. They smelled like her why does the universe hate you—!

She started hysterically laughing as she let go of your wrists and plopped down next to you, and it made you want to cry: her laugh is so goofy and stupid and she snorts, but nobody could tell you that her laugh didn’t sound like angels singing in that moment. All you could do was watch her with the widest grin on your face. 

After she wiped the tears from her eyes, she met yours, her smile getting softer and her eyes gentler. She licked her lips before she subtly dropped her eyes to your mouth, and back up to meet your gaze again. You could feel her gently grazing her fingers across your forehead as you looked at each other. Your heart was pounding due to her closeness—

THROW IT IN ROTATION! (THROW IT!)—

Your ringtone blared in the living room and you wanted to fucking scream. You sat up to reach for it before plopping back down, answering it. 

“BITCH, I’M STARVING! ARE Y’ALL DONE?!”

You heard Ellie snicker at your friend's blaring before she whispered a soft don’t leave yet. You sent her a reassuring smile and she sent one back. 

“Umm.. Ari?” 

“Girl… what?” 

“I’m staying, m’ sorry for keeping you waiting for this long.” 

You heard her let out a cackle before she wailed, “THE STRAP GOT YOU LIKE THAT?! WHEN’S THE WEDDING—!” 

You hung up before she could say anything more. Ellie’s booming laughter nearly shook the entire building. 

Your entire body was boiling hot. You heard another ding! from your device. You couldn’t help but read it, making sure to block the screen from Ellie's view this time. 

ari: I LOVE U!!!!! PLS BE SAFE 

ari: AND DONT B MAD AT ME BC HER PIPE CRAZY!!! XOXO

“Holy fuck!” Ellie said in between breaths, more tears running down her face. “I have to meet her, oh my god!” 

It was dark and you were still at Ellie’s. 

You’d been laying on the couch talking for hours about any and everything: how you and Arya are roommates on campus, your attempts at music production, your fucking YouTube channel and how she’d been a dedicated subscriber for months?! You let her talk about her life as well: her being a music engineer and producer (she started selling her beats to artists in the city months ago, rich bitches only!), how she, Dina, and Jesse are still very close (poor sissy), her being a literal fucking celebrity and a monarch for the creative community in your town. 

(“It was such a random night, I swear to god!” she squealed out with a smile as you listened to the story, laughing. “But… I felt like I wanted to help them, they were such nice people. And it blew up like crazy, it was insane! We couldn’t believe it.”)

You both rambled on and on! 

But, even with her transparency, there was still something heavy weighing on you that she hadn’t addressed. 

“Ellie?” 

“Hm?” 

“I don’t wanna… press on this, and don’t answer if you don’t feel comfortable, but… why did you and Cat break up?” You asked softly, staring at the wall behind her. 

You felt her shift next to you, and you immediately went to apologize for crossing a boundary, but she spoke before you could. 

“We um… we were kinda… bad for each other? That shit sounds so fuckin’ corny, but it’s true.” She said as she collected her thoughts. She continued when she gathered them. 

“We met really randomly. I was walking home from school, and we just bumped into each other in front of this gas station. She looked so cool to me and I was like oh my god, she’s perfect. I was still in my fucking gym clothes from P.E, like,” She said with a soft laugh. You smiled encouragingly. “I was in a really… bad place and she came in and made me not think about it all the time.” 

She paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. “We’ve always been a little unstable, but it just… all went downhill after we moved to Cali. She was doing things I didn’t like, I was doing things she didn’t like and… yeah. She broke up with me and kicked me out.” 

“I’m really sorry, Ellie,” you said comfortingly. “I know you were together for a really long time, that’s terrible.” 

“No need to apologize, we just grew apart. It happens,” she replied softly, finally meeting your eyes. “And I got cat custody, so.” 

You both let out soft laughs as the familiar jingle rang from the kitchen. 

“I swear to god she was human at some point, she always comes when I mention her,” she commented with an eyeroll. 

“She’s such a sweetie pie, I wanna cuddle!” 

She quietly hummed in agreement before letting out gentle kissy noises to lure her pet over. 

Jingle, jingle, jinglejinglejingle—

And a cat appeared on the back of the couch. 

“Hi, princess!” You said giddily as you sat up, propping yourself up on your elbow as she sniffed your extended hand. “I’m a fuckin’ idiot, what’s the baby’s name?” 

“Duchess, fuckin’ vermin,” She said lightly, grin on her face as she sat up to grab the kitty and placed her in the open space between your bodies, planting kisses on her little head. 

“Hi, baby! You’re so cute!” You squealed out as she purred at your gentle pets, before she froze, looked off into the distance and ran off the couch like she saw a ghost. 

Ellie tsked and rolled her eyes at her fleeing form before she turned back to you. Did she move closer? Or did you? 

“Are you hungry?” She quietly asked, her eyes—once again—locked onto your mouth. 

“A little.” 

“My dad made lasagna last night, it’s in the fridge. We can order in too if you don’t want that.” 

“I love lasagna!” 

You watched her grin and look at your mouth one more time before she got up and waddled over to the kitchen. 

The lasagna was in the oven, and you were watching Ellie seal her rolled blunt at the kitchen table. 

She was lightly licking the wrap closed and you were staring hard. Like, really fucking hard. Your devious fucking brain almost allowed you to forget that she had a fucking black tongue piercing, and you were starting to squirm in your chair—

“You smoke?” 

You dazedly shook your head no. “Not really, on very rare occasions.” 

She nodded at you while she licked the paper before speaking. “If you wanna hit, just lemme know.” 

You nodded at her before redirecting your gaze back to her mouth. She was already done with sealing her blunt, but her lips were so fucking pretty and you couldn’t look away. 

Until she started smiling. Fuck. 

“You stare really hard,” she noted with a light laugh. 

“So do you!” You said as you dropped your gaze to her table. 

“Mhm,” She agreed with a nod, squinting her eyes at you. “But you try to act like you're not looking when you are. I want you to catch it, that’s the difference between me’n you.” 

She said it so casually and it made your pussy clench—

Ding!

“Be a doll and light this for me, gonna go get the goods,” She said, sliding the stocked ashtray and lighter over to you before lightly jogging towards the oven. 

You picked up the lighter and flicked it before picking up the blunt, awkwardly guiding it to the flame. 

Was this correct? Or were you supposed to light the other side? What the fuck—

“How the fuck do you live with a stoner like your sister and not know how to spark?” She playfully teased you from the counter, mitt-covered hands holding the hot pan of food. 

“Fuck off! I just told you I don’t smoke!” You said with a pout. 

She walked back over to you, placing the pan in the middle of the table and removing her paw oven mitts before taking the blunt and lighter from you. 

“You’re lighting it like a cig, here, lemme show you.” She said as she sat down. 

You watched her ignite the flame and brought it over to the tip of the blunt. She slowly rotated the blunt so all sides were burnt, a steady stream of smoke releasing from the lit end of it. 

She brought it to her lips and lightly puffed it twice and you didn’t realize how tight you were squeezing your fists together. 

She put the lighter down, properly ripping from the blunt and breathing in a little… sphere? before exhaling and what the fuck was that she’s so fucking sexy—

“See?” 

“I can see your charred lungs—!”

She busted out into laughter before she started choking, pointing towards the kitchen cabinets, whining out a go get the fuckin’ plates!

You giggled as you rushed over to grab two, along with forks and a knife before jogging back to your seat. 

You made Ellie a plate, cutting her a piece of the cheesy corner and sliding it in front of her, placing her fork on the dish. 

You felt her eyes staring holes into your face, and you slowly turned to her, holding her intense gaze as she brought the blunt up to her lips to hit it. She was watching your every move. All you were doing was putting the fucking casserole on the plate, but you felt so hot. 

You shyly turned away from her gaze and made yourself a plate and ate in comfortable silence (this lasagna was so fucking good, it rendered you speechless!) as Ellie smoked her roach down. You could still feel her staring! 

You both finished eating and you got up to stack and wash the dishes before Ellie stopped you with a nope! you’re my guest! go sit!

“Let me at least wash mine!” You said as you snagged your plate from her hand and ran to the sink, water running and sponge already in hand. 

Ellie threw her plate in the sink as you both giggled, reaching for your plate to snatch it back. You tussled with her, dodging her playful grasps for the dirty dish before you felt her front press all the way up against your back, trapping you between the counter and her. And you were immediately still.

And so was she. 

She slowly reached around you to turn the water off, grabbing the plate and sponge from your nonresistant hands to place them into the sink. Your hands and body were frozen as you stood there. You hadn’t realized how much you’d been anticipating her touch until you felt her hands on both your covered arms. She slowly moved them up before she brought her hands to your shoulders to squeeze them, sliding them over to gently massage her thumbs into the back of your neck. 

You nearly bent over this fucking sink! 

Your breathing picked up even more when she whispered out a this okay?, her breath making the hairs on your arms stand up. You nodded eagerly as you bit your lip. Your pussy nodded even faster! 

Desperate slut! I knew it!, your brain screamed, and for once, you didn’t listen. You just felt the hands on you. 

“You wanna know somethin’?” She whispered out against your neck. 

You nodded so hard. Anything anything anything—

She let out a light chuckle before she said, “I thought about you a lot after you left the bar, ‘s kinda embarrassing.” 

You spoke before you could think. “What… what'd you think about?” You breathed out, unsteady. You felt her hands clench tighter on your shoulders. 

You felt her smirk at your greedy tone against your neck, “Fuckin’ you up against that door, wanted to make you cry.” 

You were about to cry right now! Your pussy’s crying! She needs attention! Your hands were glued to the sink, but you slowly wrapped your foot around her ankle to subtly pull her closer to you. You wanted no space between the two of you, you needed her closer. 

You felt her drop her hands before she whispered out a turn around, baby.

You dropped your foot spun—whipped— around and it made her giggle. She was so, so close but you needed her closer, needed to breathe her in, needed her inside—

You looked at her, you looked at her so fucking hard. She's so gorgeous and handsome and sexy and you needed her like you needed air! You missed her so much! You couldn’t fucking breathe—!

Kissmekissmekissme—

“Stay the night,” she whispered out against your mouth. 

“Not fuckin’ going anywhere.” You could barely recognize your own voice; you needed her so badly. 

She hummed, satisfied with your answer before she grabbed your waist to pull you flush against her—just like she did that night—and kissed you. She kissed you breathless and you couldn’t think. She barely touched you and you were brainless! 

She smelled like weed and fucking pine and your legs felt like jelly! 

Her hands were everywhere: grabbing your hips, grabbing your ass, grabbing your tits through your clothes and you were moaning into her mouth, tugging at her sweatshirt to pull her closer. You felt her studded tongue slide against yours and you moaned again, louder. She hummed back, sucking your bottom lip into her mouth before releasing it to lick it again. You felt her thigh shove between yours in a hard grind against your pussy. You squeaked into her mouth as you impulsively moved downward to meet her thigh. 

“Wanted to cum on me so fuckin’ bad, right? Huh?” 

“Yeah, baby, shit— “

“Uh huh,” she hummed at your whines before pulling back, grabbing at your sweatpants with a rough tug downward. “Take these off, c’mon.” 

You yanked them down as Ellie squatted to help you get them from around your ankles. You stumbled as you lifted a leg to step out of one, but one of her hands came up to your hip to steady you, planting a gentle kiss to one of your thighs with a muttered easy. You noticed her catch a glimpse of your underwear as she pulled away from your leg, which were littered with fucking bowls of fruit are you fucking kidding—

“You’re so fuckin’ cute, holy shit,” you felt her chuckle lightly at your bashed reaction, covering your face as you whined into your hands. 

“This is so fucking embarrassing!” 

She ignored you as you felt her press kisses all over your legs, “Look at me.” 

You whined again, shaking your head. 

You felt her kiss her way back up over your panties, over your stomach with a tight grip on your hips, grabbing your tits over your sweatshirt, and you hadn’t even noticed that your hands dropped from your face to grip the counter to steady yourself. She reconnected her lips with yours and you threw your arms around her neck. She pressed her thigh against you, and you slammed a clenching hand down on the counter behind you for balance. She held your hips to help you grind down on her and you were so, so high-strung and ready to cum for her—

“El—Ellie, oh fuck!” 

“Yeah?” She said against your neck, sucking marks into the skin.

“Ye—mmh!” 

“Gonna get m’fuckin’ leg wet? Gonna make me yours?” She slurred raspily. 

The thought of her being yours was enough to make you cum hard in your panties, your body stiffening and your eyes rolling back as it wracked through you. Ellie made sure to keep the gap between your pussy and her leg closed as you rode your high out. You tried to shut your legs as she pressed into you, but your resistance only made her dig her leg harder into your clit with a cocky chuckle against your neck. You couldn’t stop saying her name and you knew she loved it! You were so happy she was standing as close as she was; You would’ve hit the floor the second it washed over you! 

She continued that slow grind as you came down. She pulled away from your neck to kiss your mouth, then your nose, then both your cheeks before mumbling, “Can you make it upstairs or do you want me walk you to the fuckin’ couch?” 

You peeled your eyes open to lightly glare at her flushed face, and she laughed before kissing your cheek again and pulling you away from the counter. “C’mon, baby, wobble your ass upstairs.” 

You did, lightheaded and all. 

Ellie's room was so… her. 

Posters of metal bands all over the black, faux brick wall, green and blue fairy lights above her dresser, little trinkets and action figures and books on her other dresser. It was all dark tones with hints of forest green on her dresser and nightstands. You were surrounded by her scent when you walked up the stairs, and you almost passed out from elation. 

What you didn’t expect to see was her customized fucking guitar that her dad gave her on the stand in the corner of her room. Next to it, on the desk near her producing equipment, was the embroidered guitar pic that you and your sister got for her eighteenth birthday. She still had it, she actually used it. You immediately felt tears prick your eyes. 

“What’s wrong?” she said sympathetically, wrapping her arms around your waist to hold you against her. You sniffled and wiped your eyes. 

“…Nothin’, just happy and missed you,” You hoped she bought it. You weren’t about to tell her that you were crying over a fucking guitar pic. 

“Missed you so fuckin’ much, you don’t understand,” and you felt her squeeze your waist tighter. 

You were on cloud nine. 

After you calmed down and wiped your face as she kissed your neck in comfort, she guided you over to her mussed king bed with a mumbled sit down against your forehead before kissing it. You sat and moved to scoot up towards the middle of the bed, but she quickly grabbed your ankles and pulled you back down to the edge. You let out a shocked squeak. 

“No one told you to move. Stay there,” She scolded quietly before removing her sweatshirt. Your pussy squeezed at the sight of her bare chest and her fucking defined abs and her everything. You examined her upper body closely: flushed chest littered with freckles shaped like stars, small and random scars that you recognized from her skateboarding accidents years ago, how muscular she was. She was so…

She watched your legs squeeze together with a lick of her lips. You watched her gaze peer down as she watched wetness collect on your panties before she turned and walked towards her dresser to turn her dim lamp and dug around for something… a few things. 

Your heartbeat pounded at an alarming pace as you watched her back muscles move with her rummaging. You let out a quiet, dreamy sigh. You’d let her do anything she wanted to you!

She walked back to the bed with full hands, placing the pile of… toys on her exposed, forest green, pine-scented sheets. 

You were staring so hard at the… weaponry she just dumped next to you. The only one you recognized was the rechargeable blue wand, her fucking thick, dark purple strap oh fuck, some cherry-flavored lube, and that clit massager that people always linked under viral Twitter threads. Hey, ladies! —

Ellie must’ve noticed the shocked look on your face as you eyed the toys because you felt her grab your chin to redirect your gaze onto her. You were so wound up. 

“We don’t have to use all of these, we don’t have to use any of you don’t wanna,” Ellie said gently as she looked down at you while gently caressing your jaw with her pointer finger. “Just wanted you to know I have a preeetty good selection to choose from, it’s up to you, though, whatever you want.” 

You got wetter at her consideration and her soft chuckles and her touch and her tits, and oh god, you were about to say I love you—! 

“Ellie, I’ve never—y’know,” You blurted out before your habit of impulsivity took over.  

“Never used a toy?” 

Your face got hotter as you sighed heavily and averted your gaze towards the wall, and you felt her release your chin to lay on her stomach next to you. 

She called out your name softly. You timidly looked at her. 

“You never had sex?” 

You slowly shook your head no. 

You were expecting her to joke around and laugh at your embarrassing confession, but she looked and sounded so attentive, so comforting, and it made you squirm. 

“It's not a big deal, y’know that right? There’s no timeline to do it. You do it when you wanna… and that’s it.” She said with soft finality as you turned to look at her… very high ceiling. Wealth. 

“I wanna, it’s just… like, I don’t know how. Like, where do I put my hands?” You asked with an awkward chuckle as you stiffly held them in the air. 

She snorted in your ear before she shuffled closer, turning onto her side to face you. You felt her lift your hoodie up just under your lounge bra and you felt her hand graze the exposed skin above your panties, not dipping under, yet. Just… touching along them. It made you shudder.

“You put ‘em where you like,” She whispered in your ear as she kissed them, barely nudging her fingers under your panties. “And you just watch. See how they react.” 

You dropped your hand to place lightly on her wrist to rest there. You saw her gauging your reaction for any signs of discomfort from the corner of your eye. There weren’t any, touch me everywhere!, you wanted to scream. 

“El…Ellie..” You whimpered out

“Tell me what you want from me, I’ll do it, anything you want, just need to hear you say it.” She sounded just as eager as you felt and it was making your toes curl. 

“Can you,” You whined out quietly as you gripped her wrist tighter. She nodded encouragingly at you. “Want you to touch me.” 

“Tell me where, baby.” 

“Y-you know where.” 

“Say it.” She demanded. Her voice was going to put you in a casket! 

“My… my pussy, want you to touch my pussy,” you quickly murmured out to her, your eyes squeezing shut in embarrassment. 

“Take these off,” she whispered, kissing the side of your head as she snapped the band of your underwear against your skin. You quickly lifted your hips to rip them off your body, harshly kicking them onto the floor. She snickered at you. 

She sat up to instantly straddle your waist and your eyes shot open. She looked so pretty on top of you like this. She bent down to place a quick kiss to your lips before she lifted your hoodie up and over your head and tossed it…. fucking somewhere, you didn’t care where! She started kissing you on your cheeks, down to your jaw, to your neck, to your shoulder (you jerked slightly, you love it when she touches you there!). You felt her slowly lift your bra up and over your tits, your back immediately arching up into her so she could pull it off you, tossing that into the abyss, as well. 

“Put your fuckin’ hands up there,” She said, nodding her head up slightly as she sat up to take your body in. You pushed your self-consciousness aside and immediately followed her instructions, releasing the tight grip you had on her sheets and stretching your arms out above your head. “Don’t move ‘em, either.”

You nodded your head. You won't, you won’t! 

She brought her lips down to meet yours again before she trailed them down your body. She kissed and sucked on both your nipples, the stud in her mouth circling the bud, as you whined and squirmed under her, fingers grasping the blankets above your head, your hips bucking up before she pressed them down with her strong hands. 

“Stop moving.” 

You nodded as you whimpered. 

She left kisses down your stomach, sucking bruises into it as she moved down down down, her feet planting on the floor before she got down on her knees. She yanked you closer to the edge and her, throwing your legs over her shoulders again. Your lower half was nearly hanging off the bed!

“Prettiest fuckin’ pussy, I swear to god.” She said against your thighs as she sloppily kissed them. You clenched tighter when she whispered out a so fuckin’ cute. 

You felt her spread your pussy lips with her fingers, exposing the pulsing bud. Another gush of wetness left you and she laughed gently. It made you clench again. 

“Ever put a finger inside?” 

“N-no?” You whimpered between pants.

“You don’t remember?” 

“I’ve never… yeah.” 

She chuckled lightly. “Okay, wanna see if you like it?” 

You let out a shaky mhm!, and you felt her arms tightly wrap around both your thighs before she licked your clit in a slow swipe. 

You moaned out and your back arched and your eyes watered. The jewelry in her mouth was making you see stars and it’s been five seconds. She barely did anything and you felt that tight clench in your core! You were about to cum already!

You felt her tongue move in slow circles on your clit and you couldn’t stop making fucking noise! You were whining out pleads and your pussy was telling her I like it, don’t stop! with every throb, every clench. You could feel her take notes of all your reactions as she slowly massaged your clit with her pierced tongue. You felt that feeling coming back and it was so fast—

“El, mmh!—fuck, ‘m gonna—!”

“You can, ‘m not gonna stop.” She said against your clit. The vibrations sent your brain into overdrive. 

“Ughh! Fuck—!”

You came. You came so fucking hard. You couldn’t fucking run due to the tight grip on your thighs, so you slammed your hand down on her shoulder to ground yourself, digging your nails into it as she moaned out against your clit as she sucked on it. Your head was thrown all the way back as you screamed her name, and she was still sucking on your clit and wasn’t stopping and oh fuck— 

“El, pleasepleaseplease, I can’t—“you called out as you pushed her head away from you. 

She released your clit and slapped it before you could squeeze your thighs together. You let out a squeak and jolted away from her snickering form as you felt her kiss up your legs, to your torso, to your face before resting beside you. 

“You okay?” She asked as she laughed quietly, planting kisses on your ear and neck. You couldn’t move or speak—you could hardly breathe! — and she had the audacity to laugh?!

“I’m not done, I told you that,” She said as she sucked on your shoulder, and you felt a tight squeeze again. 

“Ellie, I can’t take anymore— “

“Yeah, you can, open em’, c’mon, lemme see,” She said as she tapped your stiff thigh. You slowly released the tension in them before letting them fall open and she sat up to prop herself on her elbow. You watched her look down so she could look at and rub your clit again, letting out a quiet fuuuck at the sight of your sticky center. Your legs almost flew shut at the sensitivity, but she held them open with one of her legs. You let out a groan as she laughed louder and rubbed a little harder before she stopped at your whining. Fucking sadist!

“Wanna watch you take my fingers.” 

You whimpered out her name as you met her gaze. 

“Want me to stop, baby?” 

You quickly shook your head. No, no no, don’t stop, don’t leave me! 

She bent down to kiss your neck as she moved her hand to squeeze the inner parts of your thigh before she brought her hand back down to rub your clit again. Your hips bucked, but she didn’t hold you. 

You felt her fingers dip lower and lower until she was at your drippy opening, only to bring them up to her mouth to suck them clean. You moaned when she moaned at the taste and turned to kiss you, gliding her tongue on yours so you could see for yourself. You sucked lightly on her tongue and her tongue ring, and she whined out. 

“Taste so fuckin’ good, such good pussy,” She slurred out against your mouth. You felt her hand go straight back down to your pussy before she lightly nudged her finger in. You went stiff. She kissed your neck to soothe you. 

“This okay?” She asked gently before continuing.  “Always remember you can stop me.” 

“Wan’it, El, I promise, want you everywhere, want you inside,” you sounded just as delirious as she was, drunk off each other. 

She nodded against you. “Okay. Gonna go slow.” 

You nodded back. 

She continued her movements, slowly pushing her pointer finger inside you, watching your face for any signs of discomfort. But you were so fucking wet, you could feel yourself dripping on her fucking sheets, her finger slipped in and you wanted more. 

You felt her slowly rub your clit with her thumb and it made you squeeze tight on her. 

“Can barely move my fuckin’ finger, what the fuck,” She said in shock and it made you squeeze harder! “Want another, baby? Want another inside?” 

You were nodding mindlessly as you listened to the noises your pussy made (yes, please! another inside!) as she rubbed you raw, and you could feel her wiggling around, in search for something—

You moaned aloud as your legs instinctively opened wider so she could get deeper and holy fuck it felt so fucking good when she hit right there—

“Yeah?” She rasped in your ear, pressing on it harder. 

“Yeahyeah, fuck—“

“Yeah babygirl? That’s the spot? Like it right here?” She asked dazed as she slid another finger in to press up against it. You felt the stretch but you didn’t care because you felt something inside you rising and rising—

She wasn’t even fucking you anymore! Just grinding her fingers into right where you needed them while her thumb circled your clit and she was about to make you cum again. The squelching noises of your pussy got louder and louder and your eyes rolled into your skull as your back arched as it hit you. 

“Fuck yeah, fuckin’ give it to me, thaaat’s a good girl, fuck me.” 

You felt a burst of wetness around you and it wouldn’t stop because of how hard Ellie was fucking you. You couldn’t think and all you could say were slurry, wet fuckmefuckmefuckme’s as she took you to the moon and back. 

You finally came down as Ellie pressed kisses on your head while slowly rubbing your clit, talking you back to earth. Your eyes peeled open, bleary and teary-eyed. How were you not dead yet? You felt like you died!

“Welcome back,” you heard a light voice giggle at you. 

You flipped her off and she laughed. She gave it a kitten lick before she sat up. What the fuck—

You watched her get up to run to the bathroom. You heard the sink running before you saw her quickly return with a warm, damp washcloth to clean you up. 

“My sheets are drenched, goddamn,” She said in quiet amazement as she ran her fingers through her hair. It made you blush harder. 

Jinglejinglejinglejingle—

Meow! MeowMeow! Meow—

“Oh shit. Needa feed her, I’ll be back,” Ellie said to you, bending down to plant a kiss on your bruised thigh, discarding the towel in her hamper. You watched as she scooped up Duchess to carry her downstairs while pressing kisses to her head. 

Your heart was pounding as you smiled dotingly at her descending form. 

After feeding the purring kitty and smoking another blunt, Ellie made her way upstairs to find you curled up and snoring. 

She snorted and made her way over to you, pressing light kisses to your back as you shuffled around. 

“I gotta change the sheets babe, up you get, c’mon,” She said gently with an encouraging pat to your ass. She did, in fact, watch it jiggle. “You wanna shower?”

You shook your head as you rubbed your eyes, rolling over onto your back. “M’kay, just gonna change them and you can sleep.” 

Ellie made her way over to her linen cabinet to grab the freshly washed sheets before making her way back over to your now upright form. 

She watched you stand up to toss the blankets and pillows off and ripped the… soaking sheets off, everything—including the pile of toys that she never put back— falling onto the rug covered floor. She noticed your avoidant gaze as you caught glimpses of her dick poking out from under the pile of bedding. It made her smile and blush. 

Ellie made the bed while you sat at her desk to drink water, fluffing the pillows and fixing the blankets. 

“Alright, come lay down.” 

She heard you move instantly as you dove headfirst into the plush bed, immediately grabbing a pillow and sliding under the blankets. 

Ellie shook her head with a smile before moving towards her nightstand to turn off the dimly lit lamp. She made her way to the bathroom before she heard a little waaitt. She turned to see you with an outstretched hand, luring her back to you. 

“What’s the matter?” She asked, squatting next to you. 

“Wanna kiss,” You said, pouting, and Ellie's heart rate shot up. Fuck, fuckfuckfuck—

But she only hummed in acknowledgment, bending down to connect your lips in a soft kiss. “Better?” 

You nodded with a grin, looking lovingly at her face. You leaned in for one more and she accepted. She accepted so quickly. 

“Gonna go shower, okay?” She said gently against your mouth. 

“Without me?” You whispered back with a sly grin, pressing another kiss to her mouth. 

“Shut up, I asked you,” She was cheesing so fucking hard, her cheeks were starting to hurt. 

You giggled, kissing her cheek before turning back over. 

Ellie let out a deep sigh as she stood and stripped, removing her sweatpants and damp boxers, and tossing everything—including your fruit bowl covered panties that you would not be getting back—into the hamper as she made her way to the bathroom. 

She shut the bathroom door and leaned back against it and thought. 

What the fuck has she gotten herself into? 

She wanted you close the minute she saw you downstairs, all warm and cozy with the brightest, gentlest eyes she’d ever had the pleasure of looking into. So soft and gentle and filled with longing. 

She hoped you noticed how much she missed you, too. 

And your stares… so filled with want and desire and eagerness. She wanted to touch you all over. 

She was so fucking horny, and her heart was beating at the speed of light and every time she shut her eyes, she could see you smiling and laughing and—

She just made you cum all over her bed… and fingers…and leg and you were so fucking tight on her, and she wanted to fuck you so bad. Want to make you feel good. Wanted to make you see what she sees whenever she looks at you. So fucking gorgeous. 

She was getting hot again. 

She slowly walked towards the shower and turned the water on, checking the temperature before stepping inside. 

She leaned forward slightly to wet her hair and her face before grabbing her loofah and soap, sudsing it up and scrubbing her body with the bubbly, pine-scented wash. She turned her back towards the hot water and immediately felt a sting on her shoulder. She turned her head, pulling the skin towards her to see the little red lines you dug into her when you came on her face. 

All she could think about was making you fucking squirt again. She needed to fucking cum so bad. 

But she didn’t want to wake you: you looked so cuddly and warm nestled under her blankets with your face nuzzled into her pillow. She wanted you to stay like that, content and satisfied and relaxed. Calm. You deserved it. Fuck, you deserved so much. 

Her soft thoughts were cut off when she turned back around and looked up. At her shower head. Her detachable shower head. She let out a sigh and accepted her fate. 

She rinsed her body off, making sure all the soap was running off of her and into the drain before she reached up to unhook the shower head from its latch in the wall. She adjusted the temperature to make it cooler, adjusted the settings to massage and squatted against the wall. She exposed her clit with her free hand and moved so the water could hit it straight on. The strong pulse made her shudder instantly. 

Justneedacumjustneedacum—

Her glossy eyes fluttered shut and she immediately saw you bouncing on her dick. She saw you rubbing your clit and touching your tits telling her how good it’s stretching you out, and it’s all for her. She saw you looking up at her with your glossy, lustful eyes, your trembling thighs, your glistening pussy. How pretty it is. How pretty your face was. How bright your smile was and fuck, it was going to make her fucking cum—

She wanted you to be happy. She loved seeing you happy. She loved it, she loved it!

“Fuck, shit!” 

She felt that sweet, swelling feeling in her cunt and she was so close. She missed your scent: you smelt like fucking sunflowers she wanted it all over her. Wanted to drown in you in any way she could. Any way you’d allow. 

She lov—

And she came so fucking hard, her ears started ringing. Her brain only producing images of you and your giggling face and you playing your fucking violin! Who would’ve thought that would make her eyes roll back into her skull as her clit throbbed in her high?

She felt the sensitivity in her bud as she held the flow of water on it, but she needed more. She wanted you so bad, she couldn’t get enough. She was biting her lip to keep from making noises because you were fucking sleeping, but she couldn’t help the little hums and squeaks of pleasure as she bucked up into the stream. 

She was going to cum again. She was getting tighter and she felt it in her toes and she couldn’t stop shaking. 

It was coming so fast. She threw her head back against the shower wall as it swelled in her lower belly and it’s right there it’s right there—

All she heard was your screams of Ellie! and fuckme! and yes! more! want you everywhere! and she blacked out when it hit her. Her mouth dropped open, and she couldn’t help the moans that left her, saying your name as quietly as she could manage. Fuck, she wanted you next to her. Wants you close, always wants you close. She never wants you away from her again. 

She came down, tossing the still running shower head onto the floor as she slouched in her position. Her vision was spotty as she glanced around at the marble walls, but she could still see you in her mind. And she knew that you wouldn’t be leaving it anytime soon. 

Fuck. 

She was in trouble. 

After Ellie got up on her trembling legs and dried off, she walked back into her room to find you tucked under her dark blankets while Duchess laid across your feet on her back. Her heart stuttered in her chest, and she couldn’t help the small smile that made its way onto her face. 

She put on a pair of boxers and Dina’s old Slayer tee before she pulled the covers back to lay next to you. She heard Duchess move around on top of your legs. She carefully sat up to stick her arm out to lure her closer, picking up the tired kitty before she put the fur ball between your bodies. She felt the kitty relax in her grasp. 

Ellie looked up at your tranquil, sleeping form before leaning forward to plant a soft kiss on your forehead. You nuzzled closer even in your resting state. 

Yeah. 

She was in fucking trouble. 

You woke up early. With no scarf on! 

It was around six in the morning when your eyes pulled up, and you were very hot. And there was something fluffy between your neck and chin. 

And then you remembered. Ellie. Kitty. Ellie, Ellie, Ellie. Oh, shit. The memories of last night slammed into you like a sixteen-wheeler and you couldn’t stop grinning. You probably looked crazy from another perspective. 

She was holding you to her chest, your bare back flush against her clothed chest. You tried to shuffle as lightly as you could so you wouldn’t wake your cuddler, but she moved with you anyway, pulling you closer. 

And then you felt her nails just barely grazing up and down your arm as you relaxed into her instantly. 

“Ellie?” You whispered. 

“Mhm?” she said hoarsely back. Fuck.

“You awake?” 

“…No.” She said with a snort. You gently kicked her leg as you grinned. 

Duchess had moved from your shoulder and onto the bed when you both started shifting, stretching her back before sitting to lick her paw and wipe her face with it, soft jingles ringing through the silence of the room. 

“She likes you,” Ellie noted softly in your ear before kissing it. 

“I love her,” you whispered back as you turned around to face the warm girl. She was resting her head on her large pillow, softly caressing your other arm. Her eyes slowly trailed down your face, then your neck, to your breasts. You watched her lick her lips before biting them. You blushed and reached out to lightly slap her arm. She smiled. 

“Not gonna touch. Just lookin’,” She whispered with a foxlike grin on her face as she continued to stare. 

You giggled at her as she softly laughed with you. “You can touch if you wanna.” 

“Oh, I’m gonna, just not right now,” she said huskily as she cockily raised her brow at you. It made you shiver in delight. She could touch you anywhere. 

But your smile slowly disappeared when you remembered. 

“Ellie?” 

“Yeah?” She said back quietly, meeting your eyes. 

“I leave in a couple days,” you said sadly. “Back to campus, I mean.” 

She nodded in understanding, but you saw her brows pulled down in a slight frown. She looked a little sad at the sound of you leaving and you wanted to hold her so tight. 

“When do you come back, do you know?” she asked in a whisper as she mindlessly played with your fingers under the blanket.

“Not ‘til April,” you said with a sad smile. “Spring break.” 

She let out a sigh before she leaned forward to plant a kiss to your lips, you instantly reciprocating. 

She pulled back to whisper, “Do you needa leave today?” 

You reluctantly shook your head yes. “Not right now, but later, yeah.” 

She said nothing, but she grabbed you by the waist to pull you closer into her chest, nuzzling your neck to plant kisses on it. You didn’t want to leave, and you could feel tears pricking your eyes. You blinked rapidly so she wouldn’t notice how upset you were getting. 

“Wanna make you breakfast, at least.” 

You let out a wet laugh as you sniffed lightly. “You almost burned your house down when you made Jesse those cupcakes for his birthday way back! You’re never allowed in the kitchen again.” 

“Oh, fuck you! I was ten and didn’t know what the numbers were on the knob, leave me alone,” She muffled with a smile into your neck. You let out an even louder laugh at her admission. She pressed one more kiss to your neck before sitting up and removing the blankets. Your nipples hardened as the cold air hit them. 

“What are you lookin’ at? Hm?” You heard her ask. You propped yourself up to see who she was talking to. You followed her line of sight onto the floor to see a… very judgmental looking Duchess giving her owner a feed me now! glare. 

“She’s a fuckin’ homophobe. Make out with me so we can piss her off more!” She said jokingly, making kissy faces and grabby hands at you. Even though you wanted her tongue in your mouth again, you declined. 

“No! Go feed the baby right now!” You said with a laugh as you moved away from her. She laughed at you before she jumped up from the bed. 

“Come on, m’love,” Ellie said as she clicked her tongue at her cat, moving towards the stairs. Small jingles and soft scratches on the hardwood filled the room. 

“Ellie, can I use your shower?” You yelled from upstairs. 

“…Course you can!” You heard her yell back. 

You hadn’t noticed as you moved towards the bathroom, but Ellie flushed bright red at the mention of the shower. 

After washing up and stealing some of Ellie’s pine-scented lotion, you put your hoodie and sweatpants from yesterday back on—bare pussy, where the fuck did your underwear go?!—and flew down the stairs at the smell of sausages and syrup. 

You saw Ellie standing over the burning stove, spatula in hand, toaster filled with blueberry Eggos. Your heart raced at the sight. 

“Oh my god, you weren’t joking about breakfast!” You said excitedly while trying to act like your heart wasn’t about to burst out of your chest. You hoped it was working. 

“Oh, you think this is for you? This is mine, you’re making your own!” Ellie said as she looked at you in mocked shock. 

“Fuck you! Put my eggs on the damn plate!” You yelled back to her as you walked over the table. 

She laughed as she stacked two waffles on your plate before topping them with whipped cream, along with your crispy sausages and (slightly burnt) eggs. She's so cute! 

The little chef walked over to you, towel slung over her shoulder as you giggled giddily. She sets your plate in front of you, calling the masterpiece chef Ellie’s surprise! with a dramatic wave of her towel. You clapped for her as she bowed. 

You drenched your waffles in syrup and dug in, as she lightly jogged over to you with a you couldn’t fuckin’ wait for me?!, plate in hand. 

You ate and talked and joked and laughed so hard, you nearly choked on your orange juice. The two of you were in your own little universe and you never wanted to leave. 

But you had to eventually, and you felt devastation wash over you every hour that passed. 

It was noon, and you had to go home. 

Ellie held your hand the entire walk down the stairs. You got your puffer from the couch and put it back on as you both walked towards the front door. 

She bought your Uber after your denial of her offer to drive you home, sadly claiming I don’t know if sissy’ll be there, and you could tell that the mention of your sister saddened her, but she accepted with a soft okay. 

She squatted to lace up your boots, planting a gentle kiss to your clothed knee before she rose to your height. She’s so tall, fuck. 

“Ready, babe?” She asked gently, wrapping her arms around your neck. You waddled closer, rubbing your nose against hers. She pressed a kiss to your mouth, and you pressed another to hers.

“Don’t wanna go,” you barely whispered out. You felt your eyes getting a little glossy. Don’t fucking cry. 

“Don’t want you to go, but you gotta,” She said gently. “Fucking scholar.” 

You were going to say something, but a notification came from her phone in her pocket. She grabbed it, softly saying your car was downstairs. 

“Text me when you get home, okay?” 

You nodded, giving her one more kiss before pulling away from her warmth, slowly walking towards the front door with her following behind. You pulled it open before turning to wrap your arms around her, and she held you just as tightly. You could see Duchess sleeping on the couch on her back, and your tears fell as you shut them. Don’t cry don’t fucking cry—

You knew you weren’t going to be able to see her before you left, so you inhaled her scent one last time until you saw her again. 

And you turned to leave before she could see your tear-stained face. 

You sent a quick text to Ellie as you exited the car saying that you made it safely. She sent you a im glad baby. get some rest and ill see u soon. And it made you sob. And horny. You want to fuck again. 

You pulled your phone out of your pocket when you got up to your room, wiping your damp cheeks. You opened your STUNNA GIRL RIDERS👩🏾‍🦳💯 group chat. 

y: hi guys lol 

And you nearly jumped at how fast the messages came through. 

ari: BITCH DKNT FUCCKINGNSAY HI LIKE SHIT IS SWEET HOW WASS THE PIPE 

krissy: hi honey! 

shining starr: U HOE

ari: SHES SO YRJXIDNFN I KNOW SHE LAID IT DOWNNNNN DDDDEEEEOWNNNNN 

y: y’all r so annoying 

y: not u kris ily so much ur everything to me

krissy: ur my baby! ilym 

ari: SHUTHT EYFHCJCXUPPP GIMME THE DETAILS I NEED EVERY DETAIL RIGHRNFUCKDINGNNOW IM NOT FUXKING PLAYING

shining starr: 😛😛

y: she made me cum when she did the knee thing and sucked my tits and ate me out and made me squirt when she fingered me

You quickly typed the message and sent it before you regretted it. Your cheeks ran hot even thinking about it. You missed her so fucking much. 

shining starr: oh wow.

ari: OHTNMTCUXKDKSIEIEIEISISJSKAKDBHDJS 

krissy: eeeek i’m so glad u had fun!! 

shining starr: u freak. always the fucking quiet ones i told u bitches that

ari: FUCKKDMFMEKWISDJJDJKOOEOEKWJWN 

ari: SHES S ABOUT TO TURN YOU OUT FUCKCDINNG THATS SO FUCKIRGNNHOT 

y: we didn’t even get to fuck fully but she has so many toys

y: i miss her so bad already 

y: she has a kitty🥺

ari: BITCH FUCK THE CAT!!!! NOBODY CARES!! WHAT COLOR IS HER STRAP 

ari: FUCKIGNNGG. FIRE HYDRANT DICK CONFIRMED???

shining starr: LMFAAOOOOO 

You giggled as you sent them (Arya) the details about what happened last night and this morning and you fucking missed Ellie. You couldn’t believe how much you missed her. 

You used to hate the Spring, but now, you couldn't wait for it to come. 

they getting freaakyyy mmmm everybody clap.

everyone pray 2 the proofread gods 4 me they aint answering my calls no more

shoutout to my lil taglist :p. @fandomshitpostingqueen, @nymphetkoo, @sawaagyapong, @gold-dustwomxn

pt. 5 :p

[suekeyyyy]

-The Seven-

Serious:Somewhat single moms-Pt 1- Bolivia flage cape and a black suit .☟ _The boys x reader_

-Homelander- John x black! Fem! reader

Summary: Y/n is South America's number one. Hero is in a group called Patina, and she has been sent on a trip to North America. To meet the Seven for a National But her representative wants her to get close with Homelander.

Waning: bad language, Angst, reader being Sexualize.

Set in: it's the plot so don't come after me if I redo it.

@z3r0art

Seva Airlines is the plane that Y/n and her lower Supes know as patina. We're on to make it to North America to meet the Infamous Seven. Y/n didn't really care all that much she had her representative Steve up her ass about this opportunity.

For three months. The persistent Bitch really pushed that it would help with her look as a Hero and get her more Points.

Y/n was somewhat like Homelander, just female. She was just better at pretending to smile waving. But she hated having to smile all the time. It was exhausted. Her smiled and would always fade after the currents fell. Like she had ever smiled ones.

Now her was going to meet the men of America and his side show. She was only somewhat happy to meet Starlight. A new hero So much potential That made fire strom have a little bit more hopeful in the world.

Steve had told Y/n that Vought wanted to have a National Superhero Appreciation. Or Nsh, the plane soon landed on top of the vot building y/n slow stood up and walked out the plane with a small smile. To keep up her illusion of being happy, she could see Ms. Madelyn Stillwell and she big white women smile on her face.

" Patina. The heroes of South America welcome to Vot I'm Madelyn Stillwell." She says,"Were glad to be here." Y/n says as Madelyn walks them into the blinding. She slowly.

and fucking your Secretary kind. " This with be your freedom room. Basically, what im saying is that you can do whatever in here." She smiles she walks out.

Y/n sits down at the head of the table with a smile that makes everyone tense up. " Sit down." She says, and they all slowly sit down.

" So does everyone have something to say. Questions, concerns?" Y/n says," Why the hell are we here? I know that's what we're all thinking." BB says

-BB- Ballon boy. -Jimmy Hall - power: immoral.

" That is a good question. we are here for National super hero day." Y/n says," What the hell does that mean?" BB says," we walk around a bit, help the seven if needed, and just breathe air." Y/n says. Everyone looks at each other, and they agree on how easy it is. " Oh, and hear are your keys." Y/n throws five keys out to her team. " For what?" BB says," Your rooms." Y/n says in a soft tone. " There on the fifth floor." She smiles." Now, all of you go." Y/n says in a cold tone. They all sigh and whisper to themselves about how dumb this was. Y/n slowly turned her head to the side. " BB, what do you want?" She sees him sitting on the table." What ya thinking about, doll?" He says " How to quit." She says.

" You could just retire." He says. With a smile," You and me both know what that means. I go into some cold old room little nowhere to be tested on." He nods." You can start a family. That's what Liya did, and I still see her." He says,

" Maybe. "

•┈┈┈••✦ 🔥 ✦••┈┈┈•

Y/n leaves the room and walks over to the elevators and waits for it where she hears someone walking over to her and the elevators. She looks over to see Homelander walking over to the elevators. " shit." She whispers. Homelander walked up to the elevators, and they opened. "Excuse me." He says y/n looks back." Oh, sorry." She smiles he walks in first.

Homelander slowly looked down at y/n and her outfit. The boob window and her Bolivia flag on her back. Her black suit on her skin was tight and small, mostly around her back side. " Nice ass." He said with a smirk with a look of contempt as he looked at her.

The ends of y/n's hair are set on fire, her hair Indulgeinng in the red flames. " Thanks, I guess. " y/n was creeped out and taken a back. How could he see her ass? He looked at the fire at the end of her hair and then back at her, "No problem." He says."So. Why are you here?" He asks her.

" National super hero's Appreciation Month." She says," So you're a part of Patina?" He asked." Actually, I'm the leader of Patina." She says," Well, it's always nice to have younger heroes as leaders. " y/n chuckles. He was trying to butter her up. He turned his head back to he and then smirke. "So. You can control fire?" " Yes." She says." So. You're like the strongest superhero in South America." He asked her, and he wanted to know everything about her." You could say that." She was trying to keep dry a conversation.

Homelander thought for a second before speaking, "I'm surprised I know of the group Patina. You know most people can't name a single group from South America." He says in a sarcastic manner. As if South America was beneath him, "But I guess you didn't tell me your name?"

Y/n give him a what the fuck look trying to overlook how disrespectful that was. " My real name?" She says,"Yeah, your real name?" He said in an annoyed fashion, waiting for her answer. " y/n no last name. " She says," That's interesting. " he says Try the sound disinterested. "I'm curious. How much is Patina respected in South America?" He said, wanting to see if her pride was big like Homelander's " as much as the seven is in the States." She says.

"Oh, I see. So Patina's just as big down south as we are up here in the States. Is that what you're saying?" He said, trying to gauge y/n to see if she had a big ego" yeah." The elevator stops, and she walks out. Homelander follows y/n and catches up to her. "So. Let me guess, y/n ." He said, walking up next to her."You just happen to have the most beautiful ass in all of South America." He said, wanting to see her reaction to that.

" I thought you dropped that conversation." Y/n says, walking past Madelyn Stillwell's Office.Homelander chuckled and shook his head."Come on, y/n. Who doesn't love talking about a beautiful ass. Especially one like yours. I mean, look at that peach." He said, touching her ass over her suit, smiling while he does it.

She grabs his hand, her eyes turning eye. " Don't touch me." Y/n says her hand, burning his suit arm slightly.

"Aww. Come on, y/n, don't be like that. My hands just so happened to wander over there. Don't be so uptight." He said in a sarcastic manner, keeping his hand on her ass " Oh well, my hand wandered to your face." She slaps him.

He stood in shock as he rubbed his cheek with his free hand. He couldn't believe she had done that. But then he took a deep breath and regained his composure and took his hand off her ass. "What the hell?" He screamed at her."How dare you lay a hand on Homelander. I am the most powerful superhero in the god damn world." He yelled in a scary, intimidating tone at her." Do I really give a shit?" She thinks," Oh, I don't."

Homelander took a second to process what she told him, and then he got angry again. "I am The Homelander. You show some respect. "He yelled at her in anger. He wanted her to beg for his mercy. He wanted to scare her, but she wasn't showing fear. It was pissing Homelander off.

" Oh, stop it, you're just as broken and damaged as everyone else." Earlier that day, y/n Looked at John's File or his life story on a paper.

Homelander grew very angry as he took another step closer to y/n. He was now in her face with the heat of his breath hitting her lips. He looked down at her and took another angry breath. "I am a god compared to everyone else, and you should respect me." He yelled at her with no fear of what she would say in return. He was the most powerful being in existence, and she would not cross him.

Homelander didn't seem to notice the haft Chub he was getting. Was he fucking turned on? " Well, I guess.''god'' has a boner." She pointed out his pants.

That caught Homelander off guard, and as he looked down at his pants, there was indeed a boner starting to show through his pants. "What the..." He began to stammer, looking at y/n. Her face was still, and she didn't give any response."That's normal." He says, trying to change the subject to something less awkward.

" it shouldn't be. You shouldn't get a boner when you yell at me." She was speaking Facts.

He cleared his throat before saying, "Hey, it's common for a man to get a boner when a hot woman is standing in front of him." The words come flying out of his mouth quickly as he realizes he just said what was on his mind."You're hot." He said awkwardly.

That was out of character. " And you got that from yelling at me?" She says. "No, I mean... I just look at you, and it happens." He says with a smirk, he was enjoying talking to y/n, she was the first woman to actually talk back to him. And it made him want to keep talking to her. Something he wasn't used to, he was attracted to y/n, and he knew it.

She rolled her eyes and walked away."Wait! Y/n, where are you going? Don't go, I want to keep talking to you." He yelled after her, not wanting her to leave just yet. She just continued walking.

"Damn it." He said to himself, he was actually enjoying talking to y/n, and she had to ruin the moment for him by walking away."Well, I hope you have a nice night. And by the way. You do have a nice ass." He yelled out to y/n as she walked. "Nice and fat." He whispered to himself as he watched her leave.

A/n: I'm so happy. 😁 thank you for your support. Love you guys.😘😘

Next pt:

[lizsos]

Chpater 2

Bad girl

Disclmair : none of this is real , none of these characters are real (expect bada)

Tw : mention of killing people

It is now the next day . You have been given specific orders by the boss . Tracking down this wanted man was no issue for you . You've been given a location to where he was going to be tonight . What annoyed you the most was that old hag had never mentioned that this club you were going to was the place other clan members would hang out , especially your enemies , You dint want to deal with their shit on the job but ofcourse you weren't going to let no weak wannabe thugs get in your way .

Hours passed by as the sun finally begins to set down . Leaving up your apartment , you decided to walk to the club since its not that far from your place . You were dressed in a nude , deep v-neck dress with a side slip diamonds . This dress hugged your figure and showed off your curves nicely and you You wore nude colored high heels . You decided to have your hair let go with a natural makeup look. The dress revealed couple of your tattoos . You received many stares and many thugs approaching you but you ignored them all, passing by them. Finally, your arrive at the club.

"Here it is" you thought to yourself . You pull your hair back revealing you clan crest on your neck (death dolls) . You finally enter The Devils Den . One of the most popular clubs in Scarlet Street. The nightclub where different clan members and Mafia bosses who look for new recruits , kidnap women or men and kill people . Sometimes they do it for fun, satisfaction or for killing time you could say .

Honestly, you weren't afraid of it "Well, here goes nothing..." you quietly mumble to yourself.

The bouncer look at you and immediately lets you in as he noticed you clan crest . You walk in , receiving a few cat calls , whistles, and stares . You sit at an empty booth ,ignoring those around you. The waiter comes up to your booth .

"What can I get you miss ?" The waiter politely asks . You decided to order a strong drink . He nods and leaves . You look around trying to spot your target. Yet , you don't notice that a certain pair of eyes were staring directly at you .

Receiving your drink , you thank the waiter as you take a few sips from your drink . You continue scanning the room . "Where the hell is he?..." you thought to yourself . Looking straight at the bar you could help but smirk .

Bingo

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Finishing your drink the waiter brings another drink "Excuse me I did-" he interrupts . "Its for from the woman at that table" he points at the woman who bought you the drink . Black hair with white stripes, dark brown eyes , fair skin . Ypu admit she looks gorgeous but you weren't interested. You give the woman a smile along with a friendly wave .

Ding...

Nana ( the boss)

' Did you find him?'

'I'm working on it '

Nana

'Stop working on it and do it'

You ignore the texts of your boss as you see a very tall figure approaching you . The woman who bought you the drink was now standing near you . She had a little smirk on her face . "Who the hell...." your thoughts are interrupted .

"Whats a lovely little thing like you doing here all alone ?" Her deep yet husky voice asks you. "Can't a girl go out and enjoy a drink?" You calmy responded . She chuckles. "Mind if I join you?" She po,it'll asks "Fuck" your thought . Yet you smile at her and say

"Sure thing love"

She sits across from you . Ylu thank her for the drink and she nods as she says "no problem doll , what's your name"

"Y/n" you say not wanting to tell her you last name . She scoots closer to you ,grabbing your hand into her . She brings your hand up to her lips giving it a gentle kiss .

" what a lovely name ..... I'm bada "

Bada lee

------------------------------------------------------------------

Thats it for this chapter next chapter there will be a lot of tw if I'm correct thank you for reading 😊💙

Taglist : @badaleesbish @badaspebble @badaleeswifey @badasgirlfriend @badaleewifeyyyeah @badaleesimp @ssivinee @sydnerss @sun-nyy @aericrys @allur1ngs @galletitaluna @woniverse-writes

[silverzoomies]

Venti Iced White Mocha

kai anderson x reader smut

warnings: rivals with benefits, shameless smut, shower sex, rough sex, cunnilingus, ass to mouth (sorry), degredation (sorry), female reader (sorry lol), kai anderson is his own warning

word count: 5,177

a/n: i should preface this by apologizing. i'm not sure if the person who initially requested shower sex with kai wanted something quite like this. this is a goddamn shitshow !! i'm really sorry !! reader's kind of an overconfident bitch here, so apologies for that too. i wanted to make her as exaggerated as the girls were in the show, yk?

and apologies if none of this makes any sense. as usual, my writing's pretty clunky and all over the place. ksjhgkdsjhgkjdsg

taglist: @dewberryobssesed @violetharmonscupcake @kaismanwich @jellyluvr @icannot3 @taintandviolent @ahoyladiesz

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During every one of his speeches as a respected city councilman; Kai knew, inevitably, he’d see you there.

As he stood at the mic, singing divine words of a new-age revolution. You would always come parading by, ranting and raving your delusions of feminist grandeur. Waving your decorative, neon, picket signs (aesthetics inspired by your nightly pinterest browsing); you would protest Kai’s holy praises of liberation. Overshadowing his words with your fake news and sacrilegious falsehoods.

Kai despised you. And desperately, he wanted to see your head on a pike.

In truth, however, he admired your tenacity.

You were such a brave soul, to stand up and fight. To speak your naive, girlish truths with such passion. Even despite the horror you continuously witnessed at Kai’s rallies. So many of his speeches ended in violence and bloodshed. Still, you protested anyway. You did all you could to pull the people’s attention away from Kai. And instead, you directed them to your obscene, ignorant ramblings.

Even Kai himself couldn’t deny it. You had guts, you had heart, and most importantly, you had stubborn determination.

One day, Kai decided to be the better man. Because at his core, he was always the better man.

If you weren’t going to cease your protests, then he’d be the one to step in and make peace. In spite of your obvious, unwarranted hatred towards the opposite sex. Kai approached you at the end of another rally, offering politely to buy you a coffee.

He figured you liked coffee. At least, you were definitely the type who appreciated a girly, sugarbomb of a drink every once in a while.

Or every day, probably. Didn’t every basic, women's studies bitch live off that shit?

Kai took it upon himself to purchase for you a venti, iced, white chocolate mocha (shots of blonde espresso, two pumps white chocolate, cup lined with caramel, no whip, vanilla sweet cream cold foam, a little extra caramel drizzle). Just to mock you a little bit, maybe. Not like you were perceptive enough to catch on.

Surely, such a #slay-queen’s dream of a drink would satisfy you long enough, that Kai could engage you in civil conversation. And after a long, tension heavy, passive aggressive discussion about…he couldn’t remember what, really. Somehow, Kai’s meeting with you ended in sex.

The roughest and nastiest of hateful, rivalry sex. In the back of your 2013 Kia Sportage. The kind of car that screamed, 'I need protection from big, scary men.'

Kai barely took initiative. Because you were the one to grab the reins and lead him to victory. You forced him down with your palms to his broad chest. And spitting off insult after insult, criticizing his worth as a politician; you rode Kai’s dick to kingdom come. Euphemism implied.

Of course, he should’ve expected such an outcome. Especially from a depraved, rageful animal like you.

Kai could recall, in his hazy, adderall-fueled memory, two more instances wherein the both of you cracked. Engaging in sinful, filthy acts of sexual intimacy. Sweaty, unforgiving, and fueled with unbridled loathing for the opposite sex. Not his fault you wanted his dick so bad. Behind closed doors, you practically worshiped the musky, masculine power of his cock.

He couldn’t get you out of his mind. Only because you refused to see his side of things, obviously.

Whenever Kai met with you, he always tried to explain his perspective. He shared his ideas, and mentioned the changes he wished to see in the world. And you did nothing but laugh every time. Constantly, you insisted his obsession with the instinctive fears of humans would lead him nowhere.

“If you continue to play into civilian terror, you’ll never be an ideal leader, Anderson.” You said, sipping another, venti, iced, white chocolate mocha he bought for you. Out of the generosity of his heart.

Your lipstick left behind traces of color on the straw. And Kai thought vividly about what that same color would look like, wrapped in a vibrant ring around his cock. As he crammed his dick so far down your throat, you’d feel the imprint of his bulbous head for weeks.

“Oh, and b-t-dubs? Breeding more violence in this city is only gonna end in misery for you. Just so you know.” You added with a sassy, overconfident wave of your hand.

Sharp, finely manicured nails decorated your fingers, painted in one of your favorite colors. Kai wanted to feel you rake those nails sharply down his back. All while he drilled your sweet pussy so violently, you’d be fucked speechless.

You also mentioned that, if Kai managed to somehow, in some way succeed; the women of the world would continue to suffer in silence. Because they were your main concern. Always your number one concern. Never the liberation of every person, be they male, female, or attack helicopter. But women, and women only.

Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

You needed a harsh reality check.

Naturally, Kai figured, if he scared the ever-loving shit out of you? You’d finally listen to reason.

If Kai broke into your apartment one night in an adderall-induced high, wearing his signature clown ensemble. And if he spray painted your walls with an emblematic symbol. A subtle, little warning to instill paranoia and fear. A warning that you’d been marked by the city’s most dangerous murderers. Maybe then, at long last, you’d see the light.

Kai could finally welcome you into the fold, as part of his movement. And he could use your strengths (your insufferable stubbornness) to his advantage. While he also fucked you brainless, turning you into his little breeding tool.

Maybe.

He’d have to think it over. Give it a few business days.

Once he broke into your apartment, Kai didn’t expect to find you in the shower. But of course, that’s where you were. The instant he overheard the faint sound of the water running, he was caught off guard. Underneath the thick rubber of his clown mask, Kai heaved hot breaths. Trudging through the hall of your apartment, he found the cracked door to your bathroom. Steam trickled out from inside, and Kai placed a gloved hand on the door. Carefully, he pushed it open, listening as you sang a womanly ballad to yourself.

Professing your raw power, as a single lady who had her heart broken one, too many times.

He almost felt sorry for you.

Kai thought you’d make for a good wife…if you weren’t such a fucking bitch all the time. But then again, maybe, he could be your saving grace. The one to teach you some proper discipline. Call it divine intervention.

Stepping over the damp, tiled floor in heavy boots, Kai carried a sharp knife in one hand. The serrated blade gleamed in the light, and a trickle of dried blood stained its edge. Kai stopped in his tracks to cast a glance over your bathroom sink. He peered through the obscuring eyes of his mask, analyzing every skin-care product and expensive cosmetic on the countertop.

Truly a shame, the way you felt the need to cake your face in heavy make-up. No doubt, you looked pretty enough without it. Who were you even trying to impress? 

Approaching the shower itself, Kai gazed upon the sparkly, pink curtains keeping you shrouded. He could see you then. Or rather, the curvaceous shadow of your womanly figure. You twirled and swayed, running your hands down your body. His eyes followed your movements, watching carefully as you soaped every inch of your soft skin.

Kai’s breath hitched under his mask. And to his own dismay, he realized, he was quickly falling victim to your voluptuous wiles. His girthy dick twitched to hardness, his balls hanging heavy between his legs. Ready to empty gushes of hot seed inside that fertile body.

He’d felt your angelic body before.

Kai had touched you in such lustful, degrading ways; he left you a shivering mess. He’d fucked you so brutally, you were reduced to nothing but an empty-headed bimbo afterwards. And knowing already what it was like to be inside you, he shouldn’t have reacted so strongly. Not after bearing witness to something as simple as your shadow. But he did. His cock was rock hard, aching desperately for the clench of your needy pussy again.

He couldn’t help but imagine what your alluring figure must look like right now. Sparkling with humid droplets of water, and clouded in a haze of hot steam. A subconscious part of him longed to hear the hateful, degrading things you’d say. If Kai, a raging chauvinist, dared to put his hands on you again.

Biting his tongue hard enough to draw blood, Kai found himself distracted. And for a humiliatingly long time, he remained frozen in place. He stood, staring ahead at the curtain through his mask. Perhaps he took more than his usual dosage of adderall (which was already ten thousand leagues beyond the recommended dose), leaving him zooted as all fucking hell. Because the moment you curiously pulled the sparkly curtain aside, Kai failed to react.

As expected, you screamed. Like a classic horror film’s final girl, you shrieked with ear-splitting power. Should you ever become a  member of his loyal crew, Kai decided then; he’d dub you ‘Scream Queen.’

You reared a hand back, and Kai dropped the blade he’d been holding. It fell to the wet floor with a sharp clatter, etching scratches into the tile below. Kai moved to defend himself, but you were too quick. A forceful slap landed hard against the rubber mask covering his face. Not strong enough to do any real harm, but quite the shock nonetheless.

Kai should’ve assumed you were going to fight back. You were always such a fighter.

Odd…he was really off his game tonight.

His guiding light, the great spirit Manson would probably be sorely disappointed in his carelessness. And Manson would be even more dissatisfied, that Kai let an indignant female throw him so far off course. What the fuck was he supposed to do now? Wing it?? He could barely think with a clear head!

Kai reached for your wrist, scrambling to grab it with a large, gloved hand. Seconds later, he somehow stumbled into your shower. And though you fought with all your might to shove him away, Kai held his ground. He proved far too strong for you, but you never gave in. You kicked and screamed in a fuming rampage. Such a stubborn, little fighter.

In a rather hasty, last minute decision; Kai reached up to pull his mask off. A mop of faded, blue hair dangled in his face. He stood under the trickling rain of the shower, in his all black outfit, thick coat, and heavy boots. For a split-second, you furrowed your brows. And you looked at Kai in a furious rage of confusion. He kept you pinned against the wall, with your wet, naked body vulnerable and completely open to him.

And Kai wanted nothing more than to claim your freshly showered pussy for himself.

“ANDERSON!?” You shrieked, your voice full of blinding, hot anger. And Kai winced at the sound, “The fuck do you think you’re-...OHMYGOD! You’re-...are you the fucking killer?? Of course you are! I should’ve known! You creep! You’re the mastermind behind it all! How the fuck could you-”

Rolling his eyes, Kai forcefully covered your mouth with a hand. He leaned in, paying no mind to the drizzle of scalding water soaking his blue locks. Droplets poured in thin, glistening streaks down his face. And he stared deep into your eyes with an unamused, soulless gaze.

“Shut the fuck up. Now.” He whispered in uncanny monotone, “I’m not the killer, and I’m not here to kill you, okay? Just stop fucking yelling.” Kai sighed, shaking his head, “And even if I was the killer? Don’t you think it’d be unwise to disrespect me like that?”

Showing you mercy, like the generous man he was, Kai lowered his hand from your mouth.

And instantly, he regretted such a gracious decision. Because apparently, you didn’t know when to shut the fuck up.

“Oh, bullshit!” You spat back, smacking a hand across his chest.

The defensive gesture sent a spark of hot rage flaring through Kai’s blood. But he swallowed down his anger, choosing to remain calm. He clenched a fist tightly at his side.

Be the better man. You're always the better man.

“Be honest! You’ve wanted me dead ever since I started protesting at your rallies! You just can’t fucking stand to see a woman steal your precious spotlight, can you?” You argued.

Fighting to free yourself from Kai’s hold, you pressed your damp, nude body against his. Ultimately, you failed to push him. Kai’s strength made him quite the immovable wall of muscle. But in your struggle, your bare thigh brushed against his crotch. Nudging the prominent bulge in his pants.

And Kai instinctively hissed. Fuck.

“Wait…” You breathed a snide laugh, “Oh my god…no fucking way! I get it now!” Taunting Kai, you angled your knee. And you gently applied pressure to his raging hard-on, “You men are all the fucking same! Goddamn incels! Every single one of you wants one thing! You only changed your mind about killing me because you wanna fuck me, is that it?”

Huffing an animalistic breath through his nose, Kai nearly lost himself in a wrathful frenzy. One of his big hands darted to your throat, wrapping a palm around it tightly. He squeezed it with a firm press of his thumb, keeping his other hand flat on the wet wall beside you. An endless spray of hot water showered over the two of you. And Kai stared daggers into your eyes, his inky, black gaze unblinking.

“Maybe I should fucking kill you, hmm?” He snarled, “You’ve been nothing but a pain in my ass since I became councilman. What do you think? If I choked you like this, and watched the light in your eyes fade to black? Do you think that’d finally fucking silence you?”

Gasping a deep, ragged breath, you shook your head wildly.

“You wouldn’t, though.” You choked. And when Kai showed you mercy once more, loosening his grasp by a touch; you had the gall to giggle, “So, what? Are you just humiliated? Awww…too bad your boner distracted you from cutting my thr-”

Livid and raving mad, Kai felt his blood boil to a scorching heat. He squeezed your throat in a more life-threatening grip. And instinctively, you brought your hands up to weakly claw at his glove. The thick, steamy heat of the shower stifled you. In Kai’s dangerously tight hold, you couldn’t catch your breath. Lightheadedness quickly swarmed your body, leaving you paralyzed.

“Better watch your fucking mouth, you little whore.” Kai spat, leaning in a bit too close, “As I’m sure you already know, there is nothing in this world more dangerous than a humiliated man.”

The tip of Kai’s nose brushed yours, and he found himself mesmerized by the fear in your eyes. Genuine terror overwhelmed your once confident gaze. And Kai’s angry frown slowly formed into a wicked, knowing smirk.

Finally, he unearthed it. The real, instinctive, human fear buried inside you. It radiated like an aura of pure panic, seeping through your every pore. In the face of death, you were just like everybody else. Confidence lost.

A vulnerable, helpless, little thing.

Kai wanted to keep you, to drag you kicking and screaming back home and into his basement. He imagined himself pulling you to the table under harsh, lamp light. There, he would lead you straight into a session of pinky power. Total honesty, an entirely different form of intimacy. Under the lock of his pinky, he’d knit and weave you to his heart’s content. Tempting you to confess every corrupt secret you kept contained. All for him.

Such a thought fueled him with buzzing anticipation. But if Kai was to tempt you into following his guidance, he needed to reel you in somehow. And he couldn’t do that, if he choked you to death in a rage of testosterone.

Standing under the shower’s humid downpower in his soaked clothes, Kai made another rash, reckless decision. Always thinking two steps behind, when everyone assumed he thought two steps ahead. He darted forward, kissing you hard against the wall. Releasing his hold on your throat, Kai let his gloved thumbs gently graze the skin of your neck. A wordless apology. Before he trailed his hands down your body, roughly squeezing your wet flesh.

If he was going to lure you into his trap and claim you as his own; he needed to find a balance. Equal justice, between showing you respect, and treating you like the lesser being you were. You seemed to appreciate a little of both, he noted.

When he parted his lips from yours for a second, you gasped for air. Choking on thick, humid steam, you braced your small hands on Kai’s shoulders.

"What the fuck?!" You breathed raggedly, digging your nails into the wet, ruined leather of his coat.

For a moment, he expected you to fight back again. Kai assumed you would lash out, and threaten him for nearly rendering you unconscious. But you merely inched your wet, naked body closer to his clothed one.

"Whatever. See what I mean? ...You're dangerous, but...I knew you wouldn't kill me..." You hummed.

No way you knew. You were only feigning confidence.

The momentary fear Kai once saw in your eyes dissipated, flooding over with carnal desire. And you proved once more, just how sick and twisted in the head you really were. With your lucious, damp body pressed against his, you dragged your nails over the lapels of Kai's coat.

"I'm not scared of you, mister big, bad councilman."

Yes. A perfect edition to his movement.

“Oh, and if you try something like that again, Anderson? I’ll make sure you end up rotting in a prison cell somewhere.” You mumbled with a bite in your tone, fearlessly kissing Kai once more. 

“Mhmmm…you know…” Kai groaned softly into your plush lips, his motions sloppy and careless. Careless because of the drugs, maybe. Good ol’ vitamin A, “You say we men are all the same…but what I find fascinating is that-”

Interrupting Kai, you kissed him with venomous, filthy movements of your tongue. And despite your earlier protests, Kai knew you wanted him. He could sense it through the tension in the air. 

Too eagerly, did you reach out. Only to help shed his soaked, wet coat. His black t-shirt was sticky against his body, highlighting his muscles. And you dragged your hands down his chest, brushing your fingertips over his nipples. Pulling the fabric of his wet shirt from over his abs, you assisted in removing the garment completely. All while Kai passionately kissed you.

“Mmmmm…I find it fascinating that all women, in their darkest fantasies, dream of this exact scenario…” Kai whispered with a swipe of his tongue against yours.

Under the rain of the shower, Kai stood before you, in nothing but his pants and boots. And as he raised his hands to remove his gloves, you quickly protested.

“Wait-” You threw a hand out to stop him. Just as Kai’s prominent, front teeth pulled at the fabric of his glove, you spoke, “Keep ‘em on…they feel soooooooo good on my body…” You added in a sultry tone, pressing your supple tits together with your hands.

Kai’s dark, beady gaze dropped to your breasts. He became entranced in the droplets of water streaming down your soft skin, running over your nipples. Bringing his gloved hands down to squeeze your tits in his palms, Kai continued on with his senseless observations.

“As I was saying…and please, stop interrupting me-” He pinched your nipples hard, the rough texture of his gloves providing a pleasant sensation around the perky buds. And you squeaked a precious sound, “You all dream of the same thing. A masculine stranger. A home invader…who breaks into your place of rest. One who finds you in a vulnerable position such as this…” He said, as he came forward to kiss his way down your tits.

Kai licked up a stream of water leaking down your breast, letting his tongue press flat against your nipple. Pulling away from your chest, he guided his fingers down your tummy.

“...Maybe he broke in to steal some money or jewelry. Or, maybe he did so to commit an act of violence. Whatever the reason, it’s not important. What is important…”

Kai’s fingers moved even further down, stopping only after reaching the awaiting lips of your pussy. And you grinned, nudging your hips into the leather of his gloved hand. So responsive.

“...is that he, in his desperation for female companionship, finds he can’t resist the allure of your womanly wiles. And once he sees you…so desirable and unguarded…he knows…he must claim you for himself. That is every woman’s dream. Whether she cares to admit it or not. You all thirst for domination.”

During Kai’s rambling, you focused on undoing his pants. You were a mere second away from pulling Kai’s weighty cock free from its confines. But before you could, he abruptly grabbed your hips in a rough hold. Kai forcefully flipped you around, pressing your dripping, wet body into the damp wall. And the heat permeating in the air made your skin feel sticky against it.

“Hey! You fucking pig! What are you-” You protested, though Kai could hear the undeniable thirst in your voice. He smirked impishly to himself, ignorning your insults.

Kai gave you no preparation, as he forced the entire length of his thick cock through your cunt. Feeling those smooth, wet walls made just for him. He buried his dick in deep, bottoming out with a bruising thrust of his hips. The motion rocked you hard into the wall, and your throat erupted in an onslaught of strangled moans. You felt your nipples slide along the slippery surface of the wall, and you squirmed in place.

“Oh fuCK~!” You cried in a squeal, bracing your hands on the wall, “Y-You’re so fucking sick, Kai! You know that? You think you know what I want? You think you know what women want??” You scoffed, and Kai reared his hips back.

Another, violent thrust drove his hot length deep inside you, ripping you open wide. And you nibbled your lip, swallowing down another moan.

“Y-You really don’t! No…I think this is everything you want.” You wiggled your hips, allowing your cunt to swallow Kai’s cock that much deeper, “You fucking love it, don’t you? You’re addicted to this kind of power. The power you have over me. Over everyone. You get so high off it. I-It’s like a drug…like your adderall…”

Angling your torso, you turned your head to look at Kai. And through a lidded, erotic gaze, you grinned. Kai’s eyes were wide open and wild, blazing with a wildfire of drug-induced delusion. You dared to chance another snide laugh at his expense, and it filled him with passionate wrath.

“You’re hopped up on that shit right now, aren’t you? I can tell…you-OH~!!”

Kai cut you off, shutting you up with another, vigorous thrust of his hips.

“Shut. The fuck. Up.” He growled, pounding his heavy length into your cunt. His pelvis met your ass at the end of each word. Just for emphasis, to really hammer it in.

He loathed you so much, but desired you so desperately it was infuriating.

Kai brought a strong hand down to smack you hard on the ass. And the rough feel of his glove sent sparks of hot, electric pleasure surging through your veins. You giggled and squeaked, as the soft plush of your ass cheeks bounced into Kai’s pelvis. Jiggling against the fabric of his pants. Kai smacked your ass in rapid succession, just a few more times for good measure. You had to know your place.

“Disobedient brat. You think you’re allowed to disrespect me? Me??” Kai angrily spat, all while worshiping the cheeks of your ass. He grabbed handfuls, palming them roughly as he fucked you, “You’re deluded in that empty-headed brain of yours. If you think I wanted to waste my precious time on a woman as irritating as you. No. This? What I'm doing now? This is a service. An act of justice.”

Kai’s cock drilled you into the wall with a force so strong, he thought he might shatter your precious body. One of his hands came up to brace your shoulder, as his other positioned itself at your hip. Kai’s thrusts became ruthless and nasty. 

“N-No, you fucking love me. You can’t get enough of me. I know you – fuck~! – I know you can’t, Kai!” You whined through a grin, “I’d be dead already otherwise and – ooooooooooo~! Don’t fucking stop!”

The thick veins of his cock pulsed at the sound of your lewd, obscene claims. And he grumbled incoherently under his breath. Kai brutally fucked you, watching with a wide-eyed gaze as his cock plunged its length into your cunt. Sinking in and out between the clench of your leaking walls. Obscene slapping noises erupted through the small space of the shower, overshadowed only by your pornagraphic moans. Absolutely fucking filthy.

“F-Fuck-” He groaned.

In a sudden, unexpected movement, Kai pulled his pulsating cock from your cunt. He pumped the thick length through the plush, plump cheeks of your ass. And with water showering down, raining wet and lukewarm over your ass and his cock; he came. A thick, hot load burst from his dick and coated your back like a pretty canvas.

Bent over, and with your hands still pressed to the wall, you snickered a condescending laugh. Kai’s cum leaked down your back, following the lead of every water droplet cascading across your skin.

Kai breathed heavily, his damp chest heaving quickly with every intake of air. Faded strands of blue hung over his face, almost shielding his eyes completely. He blinked, watching as the water washed away the evidence of his orgasmic release. Maybe he should've painted you from the inside instead.

“Why the hell are you laughing?” He mumbled lazily. And you giggled again, making a move to stand up straight.

“I didn’t cum, asshole. So…is that it? You break into my apartment to fulfill some sort of sick, twisted fantasy you think women have? And you don't even give me the courtesy of a nut?” You sarcastically clicked your tongue, “I really shouldn’t be surprised. Like I said, you men are all the fucking same.”

You were right. You didn’t get to cum.

Kai could so easily tell you hadn't. Because he'd memorized the perfect way your pussy clenched and squeezed around his dick when you did.

Be the better man. Be the better man. Be the better man.

Reaching out to shove you forcefully against the wall again, Kai used all of his remaining strength to keep you in place. You gasped, squeaking out another, high-pitched sound of surprise. And with your brows furrowed once more, you groaned with annoyed frustration.

“What the fuck are you doing now, Anderson?! Haven't you had enough??”

"What's it look like? I'm doing as you said. I'm pleasing you.” Kai muttered in monotone. He would have smirked, had his exhaustion not left him emotionally stunted. Kai leaned forward, whispering over your shoulder with his breath fanning your ear, "And for right now, just call me divine ruler."

"You're not serious…" You snickered again, making a mockery of Kai. Just as he expected you would. 

No matter, you'd be singing his praises any moment now.

With your body pressed against the wall once more, Kai sank down to his knees in the shower. By now, the water had long since run cold. Close to freezing, even. The wet tickle of it caused your smooth skin to erupt in a flurry of goosebumps. And Kai took the time to graze his gloved fingers across them. You hummed quietly in response, biting your lip. 

Kai leaned in, breathing hot breaths over your glistening cunt. Another second passed, and he began feasting on your delectable pussy from behind. As though doing so would bring him peace, prosperity, and good fortune. Holding your ass cheeks firmly with his palms, Kai explored every inch of your beautiful cunt with his tongue. The tip of his tongue teased between your lips, sinking its way through your walls.

And after tongue fucking you for a few, generous moments; he dragged the wet, drooling muscle to your clit. Kai sucked the small bud in between his chapped lips. Letting his tongue circle and bash the sensitive, little bundle of nerves.

"Ohhh...divine ruler..." You whined, and you giggled at yourself for using the name. Kai smirked around your clit, the tip of his nose greeting your folds.

"Mmmm...my angel..." He whispered, hushed and hot against your pussy, "...learning to see the light…"

Guiding his feast in a more filthy direction, Kai let his tongue swipe all the way up through your ass cheeks. He wiggled the tip of his tongue in fluttery circles around your hole, prodding at it while groaning low under his breath. Cool, crisp water showered his head and face as he dove in so deep. You squirmed in place again, letting breathless laughter interrupt your desperate moans. And once more, Kai returned his attention to your cunt.

"Pl-Please~! Ah! Divine ruler! Feels so good-" You cried, your needy voice bouncing off the walls of the shower. Glorious utterances of his true name.

Kai lapped at your clit, teasing you until you reached the gates of heaven. 

You came all over his tongue. Thick wetness weeped from your pussy like a liquid gift, and Kai gladly drank it all down. Your legs quivered quickly as you rocked your hips back, riding out the bliss of your euphoria. The cheeks of your ass collided with Kai's face in gentle, abrupt movements.

"N-Need you, Kai. Divine ruler. Need you so bad. Want you so bad-"

You whimpered forbidden words you only dared let slip in the heat of ecstasy. And Kai took a mental note of every single one.

Sometime later, Kai treated you to yet another venti, iced, white chocolate mocha. It was the least he could do, right? 

After breaking into your apartment, scaring you shitless, nearly choking you unconscious, and grabbing you by the pussy.

In this particular instance, when you sat across from him with your coffee and pulled the straw between your colored lips; you did so in Kai's basement. At the table, under the heat of lamp light. And with your unoccupied hand, you brought a pinky out. Only to lock it with Kai's own.

"Scream Queen." He quietly said, wearing a smile that could kill, "What's the most pleasure you've ever felt?"

[stephenjaymorrisblog]

Pigs off Campus!

(College Revolt is Back in Style.)

Stephen Jay Morris

4/23/2024

©Scientific Morality

                Here is a nifty little analogy:  suppose your dad gave money to your uncle to buy a gun so that he could shoot his ex-wife? Would your dad be guilty of murder?  Kind of.  He would be an accessory to murder. Suppose your country gave weapons to another country to commit genocide? Would it be guilty of genocide? Sort of, as they would be an accessory to a war crime. So, is it justifiable for Americans to protest Israel’s genocide against Palestinians? Hell, yeah! Not only is it justified, but it is also warranted.

            Now I am going to play a game of comparative history. The Chuds have been whining and bitching about how college professors are brainwashing their precious White children with leftist propaganda. Back in 1968, most universities were run by Right wing, WASP men in suits and ties. College professors were either moderates or conservative. Only the Arts departments were managed by liberals and Beatniks. Baby Boomers were never brainwashed by college professors. They were autodidactic and hungry for the truth. Some joined the “Ban the Bomb” movement and later, the Civil Rights movement.

            The urgency of the war at hand got ahold of Boomers. Many Vietnamese women and children along with American soldiers were dying by the hundreds, as was reported on the nightly news. A minority of Boomers felt helpless and wanted to stop the killing. So, they resorted to protests and strikes on university campuses. These acts were coordinated by two major student groups: the Black Student Union and Students for a Democratic Society, other wise known as SDS. I joined SDS in 1969. The only communication avenues we had at the time were printed fliers, underground newspapers, and FM rock stations. Oh, and let’s not forget the telephone. The FBI loved tapping them. If we’d had the technology Zoomers have today, we would have stopped the Vietnam War in 1967.

            In 1968, the anti-war movement went international, from Europe to Africa to South America. Most of the world was opposed to the Vietnam War.

So, is this latest movement against Likud Party’s genocide on the Palestinian people a new Anti-War movement? As sure as the Earth is round! Now all this of this carping about Anti-Semitism is no different than when the New Left was accused of being Anti-American. Neither is true! There is a Jewish sect called, “Keturei Karta,” who believe that there can be no Israel until the Messiah comes. Many Jews do not accept Jesus as the Jewish messiah. Now, let me ask you. Is this orthodox sect antisemitic or just comprised of your average self-hating Jews? Shit no dumbass!

            In 1968, we waved Vietcong flags and were accused of being communists. It was all done in the name of solidarity. Now the Palestinian flag is waved. Nothing has changed. We did have contingencies of Tankies, and other types of communist groups, who marched with us and chanted slogans that didn’t reflect the true sentiment of the movement’s coalition. Here are a couple I remember: “America must die! Let the red flag fly!”  and “Get a clue! Fuck the red, white, and blue!” There were other silly ones I’ve long since forgotten.

            Now you have Islamic nationalist groups doing the same thing. The Chants of “Death to America” come from small, Muslim, theocratic groups who are not affiliated with the Anti-authoritarian Left. Due to rumors and erroneous propaganda, the Left, as a rule, do not support Islam. Why? Well, because many of them does not support organized religion! Second, Islam, like Christianity and Judaism, are sexist religions.

            It was the Battle of Seatle, in 1999, that gave me hope. Then came the occupation movement of 2011, and now, this anti-war movement of 2024. If they can pull this off, the movement’s young people can stop this so-called war in the Middle East. As for the young people in Israel, will they rise up and stop Likud Party? That remains to be seen.

[ladylooch]

Uhhh. Seeing all this jealous asks and angst ones.

What about jealous miles or you ?

-👢

A/N: Hello, hello! Thank you for your patience while I got lost in the Meiers :) I am going to use this to start talking more about Kailey and Miles. I hope you don't mind! So here they are... the next AU, Shot In the Dark 😘

Miles Wood is the life of the party tonight.

One of his college teammates married his college sweetheart and the BC boys have shown up the way they always do- loud, slamming shots, and dancing their thick asses off.

The last few days have been filled with meeting new people and hearing all about Miles in college. If I thought he was wild now, apparently I haven’t seen anything yet. There was the time he passed out drunk on the front lawn. The time he was the reigning beer pong champ on campus for both of his years. And of course, the way he could look at a girl and get her panties to drop. Miles had steered that conversation away quickly, joking that those days are far behind him. Cause he’s got me. 

But from my view of the dance floor, some habits are harder to drop than he may realize.

“Ahh Woody is on his shit tonight.” A drunk, Colin White tells me as he tosses an arm around my shoulder. “He always gets wild with the girls to this song.” The song is “Just a Lil Bit” by 50 cent. Miles is in the center of the dance floor, shirt blown wide open, tie around his head as he shakes his ass in the middle of a bunch of blondes. “Don’t worry. He’s obsessed with you.” Colin drawls after another sip of whiskey. 

“And yet we haven’t talked since dinner.” I snort. My tone sounds bitter, even to me. Jealous too as we both seemingly forget we had one another in the abandoned coat check room during cocktail hour. 

“Go get your man then!” Colin jokes, nudging me forward.

“I’m not chasing someone I came here with. Tell him I headed back to the hotel?”

“Uh…” Colin’s dopey, buzzed grin falls off his face. “Wait…”

I don’t. Instead I start making my break towards the exit. 

“Baby!” I hear behind me as I push open the doors to the main entrance. The key to Miles’ Range Rover is tucked in my purse. I’m long sober. We had agreed I would stay sober tonight so he could enjoy. But that was before he paraded blondes in front of me, twirling them around and inserting his infectious giggle after every sentence from of their mouthes. 

“Kailey!” My heels keep stabbing the concrete. I don't turn or slow down for him. Unfortunately, we got here late and parked in the way back. 

“Kails, stop.” Miles calls again from behind me. His tone causes my steps to slow. He’s turned gentle and soft. I look over my shoulder at him. He hustles closer, hands stuffed in his pockets. “Where ya going?”

“Back to the hotel. You don’t seem to need me here anymore.” Miles gives a light, laughing scoff. 

“What?”

“Don’t do that.” I wave my hand at him. 

“Babe, I asked you to come on the dance floor with me.”

“There was no room.” I snap. “Too many blondes who’s panties were falling.” 

“Oh.” Miles catches on, chuckling. “Baby, are you jealous?” He is laughing incredulously like he can’t believe it. This has never happened between us. Not with the women wearing his jerseys at games or their pleas to hook up on social media. Never. It usually doesn’t bother me. He’s a smoke show, but he’s mine. And that is usually enough. 

Not tonight, in his hometown, where I’m the outsider in his world. 

“Baby. You…” he fades off with another laugh. “Have nothing to worry about.” I stay where I am, but cross my arms over my chest at the cool breeze slapping my bare skin. “What you are to me means you never have to worry about anyone, ever.” He pulls his suit jacket off while walking towards me. The silky lining makes me shiver when he drapes it along my bare shoulders. He closes the lapels together into his fist, then tugs me forward with the fabric. I brace my hands on his abdomen as we crash together. “Kiss me, jealous girl.”

But his lips lock to mine before I can contemplate his request. I wrap my arms around his big shoulders, letting him guide my hips back and back and back until I am laying down on the hood of someone’s car. Miles falls over me, shoving his tongue into my mouth. When we need air, he pulls away, looking at me breathless, brown hair splayed along the dark car, green eyes wild with desire for him. 

“All mine.” He murmurs, stroking a finger down the valley between my breasts. I reach for the bulge in his pants. “All yours.” He reminds me. “This too.” He places his hand over his heart. “Always yours. I’m sorry.” He finishes as he puts his hands on either side of my head. I tug at one side of his open dress shirt, pulling him back down to my lips. “The rest of the night you’re the center of my attention. Wanna see your ass moving on the dance floor.”

“There? Or in our hotel room.” Miles kisses down my jaw to my collar bone. He continues down to the edge of my dress on my left breast. He bites the skin there.

“Maybe the car? As you’re riding me…” He trails off, moving lower. He uses one finger to plunge the fabric down to expose my hard nipple. He sucks it into his mouth as I clutch his curls with my fingers. 

“Car sounds good.” I choke out. He laughs against my skin. He pulls me into his arms, carrying me down to his Range Rover, teasing me with his stiffness with each long stride towards the black car.

[princessconsuela120]

Chapter One: White Ferrari —❃

Series masterlist

Chapter Warnings: cursing

Authors note: I LOVE FEZCO!! I’m so excited for this series. Details coming out soon!!!

—❃

ALYSSA WAS’NT SHRE WHEN THE EXACT MOMENT WAS SHE LOST HER WILL TO LIVE. But she knew it must have had something to do with when she left Fezco. Some piece of her was left in his apartment all those years ago when she left. Being 18 years old and shipped off to the military wasn’t exactly your plan for her life.

She planned to marry him, so did he. He had the ring and everything. But her not saying goodbye? That killed him.

She missed the way things used to be. Before the war, before she felt a need to be in the army. Before she lost her friends, before she left him. She just wanted to go back. Back to the beginning.

“Got all your bags?” Mrs Miller asked, causing Alyssa to roll her eyes at the older women.

“Yes mom.”

“You have your tooth brush and tooth paste?”

“Yes mom. Relax, I have everything under control.”

Alyssa was terrified. She was moving back to her hometown, back to him. It felt like she was being dragged across the floor with how much stress weighed her body down. But she was excited nonetheless. She got to see me, and Lexi. Two people she had always been friends with before she left.

Alyssa had been to three funerals in the past year, it’s safe to say she missed having friends around.

See, she was moving back home because the war had ended, and she missed it back home. With her dad, and brothers. She even missed the old house. Before her parents separated, they lived next door to the Howard’s. It was an easy walk to see me and Lexi, so it was perfect for us girls to grow up in. And then my dad died, and Lexi’s dad left, and Alyssa enlisted. I guess in someway that was her escape. From everything. All of it. Even him.

Not that she was trying to escape fezco, just escape the posibility of fucking his life up more than it already was. So when Alyssa saw Fezco at the shop on her way to her house, she felt frozen in her place.

“Yo you good over there?”

She didn’t answer.

“We got, all kinds of gum over here too. If that’s what you were lookin fo.”

That damn voice brought her to her knees.

“I’m just um, just looking around.”

“Shit. Lyssa?” Fezco asked, looking at her in shock as she smiled bashfully.

“Hey fez.” She greeted nervously.

“Is this real life?” He asked, making her chuckle slightly.

“Yeah, it’s real.”

“Shit ma. Never in my life did I think I’d be seein you again.” He said, a slight melancholy tone to his voice.

“Yeah, me either.”

“So, what you doin back?”

“You didn’t hear? War is over, peace amongst men, or whatever.” She said, waving her hands as he smiled at her, having missed her sarcasm.

“Well shit. Thank god cause I be worryin for you so much I started watchin the news.” He said, shaking his head as he looked at the floor. She looked up at him softly.

“Really?”

“Well yeah. You’re my girl. Well, you were.”

They both looked down, letting out awkward buffs of air before Alyssa smiled at him.

“It was good to see you fez.” She said, grabbing her gum with a smile. He smiled back.

“Good seein you too ma.”

“Maybe we could get together sometime?”

His smile grew.

“I’d like that.”

[fandomsnstuff]

We're two weeks in team! Have some simple blupjeans chatter

Day 14: celebrity au

Barry's just trying to buy a new tv for their bedroom, but Lup wants to talk about his celebrity status.

Read it on AO3

Barry considers the different tvs in front of him. “The 45 should be enough for where we're putting it. What do you think, babe?” He looks at Lup, but she's looking off in some other direction. “Lup?” 

She turns to him. “Hm?” 

“The tv?” 

“Oh, yeah, whatever you want is fine.” She looks away again. 

“Alright, uh,” he turns back to the sales associate helping them, “we'll go with the 45 inch one then.” 

“Great! Just wait right here and I'll go grah the box from the back.” 

They walk away, and Barry says to Lup, “what has you so distracted.” 

She glances at him and grins. She links her arm through his and points to a tv nearby, “look.” 

It's playing an episode of a cheesy mafia-themed soap opera. The same mafia-themed soap opera Barry was cast in 30 years ago to play the mob boss's fifteen year old son. The scene playing at the moment is from a recent season, showing Barry all done up in a suit, surveying some sort of shipment. 

He rolls his eyes. “You're ridiculous.” 

She laughs. “You're probably the only mainstream celebrity who comes to Best Buy for his tvs.” 

“There's no way I'm mainstream. I'm like a T-list celebrity at best."

“Oh, come on. You're on Netflix!” 

“Have you seen some of the shit on there? It's like finding an old can of beans from 1962 at the back of your grandma's cupboard sometimes. Plus,” he gestures vaguely at the tv, “the show's been running for over 30 years now, some streaming service was bound to pick it up eventually. It's not an indication of my celebrity status.” 

Lup tuts. “You're selling yourself short, Bluejeans. You've gotta be at least E-list. The kids are getting into older shows nowadays.”

“I never get recognized in public.” 

“Bullshit. There was that one time-” 

“On the rare occasion that I do, they're almost always over the age of 60.” He gives Lup a look as he cuts her off, knowing she was going to mention that time they were on a road trip and a table of older women recognized him in a diner. She purses her lips, thinking. “You get recognized more than I do,” he says. “You're more of a celebrity than I am.” 

“There's no way a YouTube channel makes me more famous than you, who's been a staple of daytime television since you were fifteen.” 

“Oh yeah?” He tilts his head to indicate behind her, “six o'clock.” 

“Excuse me?” Right on cue, a 20-something customer comes up to them. “I'm so sorry, but are you Lup Taaco?” 

Barry takes a picture for them, and Lup talks to them for a few quick minutes until the sales associate comes back with their tv. The fan thanks her and scurries away. Barry takes the flat cart from the associate and starts driving it to the cash registers. “Told you,” he says.

“Shut up.” She crosses her arms. “I refuse to accept this slander to your popularity.” 

“Lup, I'm a pudgy white guy in his 40s wearing jeans and a t-shirt. I'm practically set decoration when I'm in public. Now, if I walked around in a suit and waved a gun around going,” he makes a finger gun and does a silly impression of his tv self, “give me my fuckin’ money or I'll kill ya! Then I might get a little more attention.” 

Lup considers this. “I don't think people would appreciate that.” 

“No, I don't think they would. Unfortunately tv is pretend and I don't actually run the seedy underbelly of a major city.” 

They get to the register, and Lup digs into her purse for her wallet. “Well at least we don't have to worry about the paps following us around.” 

“And we can go to Best Buy for tvs.” 

[spinupthepornograph]

here's an idea: the tentacle monsters have started attacking, so everywhere builds shelters to keep them out. When the dimensional barriers get thin, the air raid sirens go off, and everyone retreats to the bunkers. There's a sort of airlock system where they can visually verify who is trying to get in, after a tentacle monster tried fitting into a suit and walking upright as a sort of parody of humans, like three raccoons in a trench coat.

everyone retreats to the safety of the bunkers. at first it was just the women, but a bunch of men learned the hard way that tentacle monsters don't know or care about what gender is, they just like holes. so everyone gets let into the bunkers. They quickly built more bunkers, so there's the new men's bunkers and the older women's bunkers.

The bunkers stay locked the whole time, once the first hour is over, they stay locked the rest of the 24 hours. you can't even unlock them from the inside, not after a foolish person panicked and tried to flee the main seattle bunker, letting in three tentacle monsters.

I walk up to the women's bunker for my city, wearing a kn95 mask. just because we're under attack from alien sex-pests from another dimension doesn't mean covid has gone away. The guards at the airlock pause for a moment: it's 12:57 am, nearly time to close the gates for the night. And one of them, a stocky woman who looks like she lives in a gym, had given me some shit last time for being trans, trying to send me to the men's bunker. I threatened to report her, the law is quite clear, so she let me in, but gave me the side-eye every time.

She discusses something with the other guard, then waves me in. The inner door opens, and I step into the room. It's a big rectangle with a linoleum floor, full of folding chairs and a few desks and beds by the corner. You can tell this place was built in a hurry, and designing something comfortable was last in their mind... just about everything is more comfortable than having all your holes violated by a octopus-xenomorph from beyond space, even if some of the victims report feeling high and blissed-out by the experience. Drug tests found some strange substances in their system: something like MDMA, THC, and weirder chemicals that we're not sure what they do. Apparently the monsters enjoy it more if their victims are enjoying it too, and they're entirely willing to hack our endocrine system to try to make sure we enjoy it.

I look around, and a coworker comes running over. She sees the look in my eyes, and asks what's wrong. I try to scream in reply, and the muffled mumble that comes out only worries her further.

My hands reach up to remove my mask, against all my efforts, and she notices the thin tendril looped around my arms, peeking out of the wrist of my longsleeve shirt. My mask comes off, and like vomit pours out a tentacle.

My white cotton underpants hit the floor as two more tentacles burst out from their hiding places, tendrils that had been sneaking down my legs withdrawing as the puppet's strings are cut. I collapse to the floor as the tentacle monsters burst out, worn out from having an entire set of monsters stuffed into my colon and neouterus and halfway down my throat.

I'm lying on the floor in a haze, tasting bile and alien ooze, as I start to faint. The last thing I see before everything goes black is my coworker being penetrated by the monster that had been down my throat, feeding me oxygen through some kind of internal air-sac. There's screams as the other women futilely try to escape the other two monsters they're trapped in the bunker with.

only 23 hours before the doors open again.

[paisholotus]

Chapter 3

January 9th, 1996. New York City

Solana’s Pov

Jack, Reggie, and I were playing basketball, but I had to sit down because, let's face it, I'm not very good at basketball. I was watching Jack and Reggie play, and Reggie was winning thus far.

 

Through Jack, I got to know Reggie, and he's a really nice man. Here in Manhattan, he facilitates a support group for adults and young people who have previously used drugs. I kept sipping from my bottle while I watched them.

 

Today was unbearably hot. The weather in New York is literally bipolar all the time. This evening, watch it get cold as hell. I was distracted from my thoughts by this agitating, grating voice. I scowled as I gazed in that direction.

 

"Yo, Jack! What's the score? Come on. We got to go." A boy no other than, Mickey. A great pain in my ass. I glared at him as he smirked at me, drinking beer with his friends. I swear, I don't see what Jack sees in them. Nothing but bad influences. 

 

 

"They don't keep score in this game." Pedro said. Pedro is not bad, but he likes to steal and hang around druggies. "Jack, come on. We're losing the sun." Mickey yelled again. That boy had some serious anger issues; you could tell he wanted to be a wannabe badass so bad. Jack continued to ignore them and play ball with Reggie.

 

"He's being a dick. You want me to put a charge in his ass?" Mickey said, finally glaring at me back. He knows I don't like his ass. Which is why he doesn't like me—not solely because I don't like him, but because I tell Jack he needs to stop being friends with him.

 

Why can't they just leave Jack alone? It's not that serious. I rolled my eyes and picked up my book, seeing them smirk at me. I gagged at them, making smooches at me. Straight-up women repellant is what they are.

 

"Watch this." Mickey said. I looked at him suspiciously and glared as he picked up Jack's notebook.

 

"Oh, look it, right here...Jack's secret diary he's always writing in." I frowned and got irritated. There's only three people that's allowed to look in his diary. And that's me, his sister, and himself. Why were they being such dicks right now?

 

"Bet you, he wrote some shit about me." I grew angrier by the second. Jack needs some more friends. Who aren't assholes!

 

"Oh, right here." The boy said it, chuckling. I stood up, crossing my arms, watching them.

 

"Spring... Mickey." He paused and smirked at me.

 

"OH WAIT! There's one about Solana wtf face." Pedro said, pointing his thumb at me. WHO?! Oh, nah, because WHO TF ARE YOU TALKING TOO!? I put my book down standing up and began walking towards them.

 

"Hey, there I am, Jack says," Mickey reads on the page. "HEY!" I yelled. I now ran toward them. They snickered at me. Oh, I was going to give them something to kekeke at. He continued to read more of the diary, causing me to run faster. "My summer time, Lana." "My summer time Lana comes every summer with golden brown eyes and short, curly hair. How did I get a girl like you? A girl who's smart, pretty, and true. A girl that I can hold tight."

 

"A girl that is just right'-" I tried to snatch the book, but he held it over my head while his dumbass friends just laughed. Like, something was funny.

 

Mickey continued to read, which caused my blood to boil more: "A girl that can make my sun rise, and my sun set. A girl who is nice and wise. A girl that I will never forget." I was trying my best not to slap this bitch. 

 

I could hear Jack yelling at him to put the book down. Mickey bent down and waved the book in my face mockingly. I smirked and kicked him in the balls, having him drop the book and crouch down in pain.

 

I grabbed the book and looked at his friends to see what they were going to do. "I'M GOING TO FUCKING GET YOU! YOU BLACK-" "GO AHEAD AND FINISH THAT SENTENCE, SO I CAN KICK YOUR WHITE ASS!" I yelled, back at him. He seethed, looking at me. He tried to attack me, but Jack ran in front of me. "CHILL OUT, MICK! THAT SHIT IS NOT COOL, MAN!" Jack yelled at him.

 

Jack looked at me, checking to see if I was alright and taking the book from me. "What is that shit?" Mick aggressively asked. Slowly getting up, glaring back at me.

 

"Why do you have to be such a schmuck, Mickey?" Jack said, glaring down at his "friend." 

 

This is why I couldn't stand his friends. But I mostly couldn't stand Mickey, that bitch always running his mouth. Always trying to bully somebody. But I ain't never been a person you could bully. You gon end up getting fucked up trying to "bully" me.

 

"Don't you ever touch that again. It's private." Jack says to Mickey. He looks taken back but raises his hands and says, "I'm... I'm sorry." He says to Jack, who only nods. Then he looks back at me and smirks, "I'll make sure I see you next time." I scoffed and nodded. "Yeah, you can get this work anytime. BITCH!"

 

His smirk fell, and he glared at me once more. "BITCH?" He repeated what I said. "BITCH!" I said again, "You just keep running that pretty mouth. It'll be wrapped around my dick soon." He said, causing the two boys to laugh. Jack got back in front of me, glaring at Mickey, and told him to watch it.

 

"KEEP TALKING I'LL CUT THAT MF OFF! AIN'T NOBODY SCARED OF YOUR OSCAR THE GROUCH LOOKING ASS!" I yelled. The two boys choked on spit, trying not to laugh, including Jack, who pulled me away from the boys. He walked me back towards Reggie.

 

"You need new fucking friends! I'm personally sick of that walking human trash bag you hang around. Talking bout some.." I paused, glaring at them leaving, feeling myself get angry all over again.

 

"Wouldn't touch his ass with a 24 foot poll. Let alone put my mouth on him." I mumbled, looking at Jack trying to hold his laugh in. "I would rather drag my bare ass on the hot cement than touch him."

 

He busted out laughing, but I continued to frown at him because it wasn't funny. He finally calmed down and held on to my shoulders.

 

"Hey, it's okay; don't get all worked up because of him. But, thank you for sticking up for me." He said softly, looking into my eyes.

 

I smacked my teeth but smiled, feeling myself blush. "You don't have to thank me for that." 

 

He pulled me into a hug, and I instantly hugged back. I put my head on his chest and smiled. He pulled away, a light color of red dusted across his cheeks. He cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck, and smiled.

 

"I'll call you when I get home, okay?" He said, as I nodded. He looked at me one last time before waving at Reggie and running away. 

 

I shook my head and walked towards a smiling Reggie. I playfully rolled my eyes and waved him off, laughing.

[midnightraine131]

Invisible Golden String

Hi! Hi!

Here's my contribution for Aruaniversary!

Happy Aruani Day people! Hope you like my brainrotting.

PS this is an extra from my modern AU fanfic on AO3; Hiding in Plain Sight

PS PS My coworker almost caught me writing this one-shot. Stupid me for leaving my office computer open. Even though he assured me that he would not read my stuff, I still want to die of embarrassment.

Actually a few months ago, he mentioned that he had read some good Aruani fanfics. SO I will never, ever tell him about my shit. I wish the ground would open up and swallow me whole!

Update: Posted it on AO3

Late afternoon, the bustling noise of Manhattan hits Annie's ears as she clocks out of work. The musty air of the old street lingers on her nose as soon as her stilettos step on the cold asphalt. She pulls her hair out of the collar of her coat and brushes the blonde strands with her slim fingers. Her hair is unusually frizzy today, it' so annoying, she thinks.

Dark clouds are starting to threaten a heavy downpour, so she hurries a few blocks towards East 46th Street.

One, two, three steps at a time, she hurries her way through the crowds on the street. She curses under her breath as she walks past a group of teenagers who are talking, laughing, and tripping. Next, she passes two white-collar women who are talking about office gossip. Lastly, she stumbles upon an elderly couple taking their dog for a walk. They may be on their way home. Annie stops and turns to watch the couple, wondering if she will ever find the person she will spend the rest of her life with. Or has she already met him?

She raises her hand to her neck to tug a piece of chain out from her taupe satin blouse. Her fingers trace a piece of gemstone on her necklace, a natural blue sapphire, just like the color of his eyes.

Every time she looks into those eyes, she feels like she is being lost in the vast, deep ocean. She is drowning in his gaze. Her heart starts beating wildly behind her ribs. She wants to gasp for air, but her body is frozen. Her mind is so lost, it feels like she is under hypnosis.

Her mind starts to wander to what their past lives might have been like.

In a past life, she had fallen into a long coma, and he had visited her, talked to her eagerly every day for four years until she opened her eyes one day.

In another life, he was a commander of some military regiment heading to war, and she was a mere warrior from another nation. They were separated by their beliefs and upbringing, but brought back together by fate. Did she wait for him to come back? Or did she follow him and fight the giants side by side with him? The world would call them saviors on the day they celebrated victory.

Then, after the war, they would travel the world together. They would meet new people, walk in lands they had never been to before. He would hold her hand as the waves of salt water hit their feet, and the white sand of the beach would stick to their skin. He would smile at her, mouthing the words, "We've finally made it."

One afternoon, they would catch a boat with heavy suitcases in their hands. They would sail back to his country, where they had met as young children. There, under the tree up the hill, he would get down on one knee with a ring in his palm and ask her to marry him. She would answer him with a shout of joy, tears streaming down her cheeks.

They would live in a small bungalow house near the ocean. As their hair turned gray, he would stand up and pull her to the center of their living room. He would dance with her, their cheeks touching. His wrinkled fingers would fill the gaps between hers. She would recall their days at military training camp, when they sat at separate tables and stole glances at each other. They would both laugh, amused by the fact that their feelings had blossomed before they even knew it.

Did she lay her head down beside him as they both passed away in old age?

She wonders if, after 100 years, their paths will ever cross again. Will the invisible golden string still be tied to their pinky fingers?

On the bustling streets of New York City, the sky meets the ocean as they lock eyes. There, after 100 years, she meets him again. He is wearing a fine suit, and she is wearing a taupe blouse paired with a tight pencil cut skirt, a trench coat, and stilettos. The glow of the vending machine illuminates his features as he turns to her, holding a can of coffee in his hands.

"I've been waiting for you, Miss Leonhart."

"Well, I didn't know that the Manhattan D.A. Armin Arlert had grown impatient."

He chuckles. "You know I will always wait for you, no matter how long it takes."

[voskhozhdeniye]

Musical Obsessions 2022

Afrorack: The Afrorack

Aphex Twin‘s Radiator (Original Mix)

Arbiter‘s Clarity

Ari Lennox’s Pressure

The Belltower’s Plastic Man

Beyoncé: RENAISSANCE*

Bill Orcutt: Music For Four Guitars

Björk: fossora

Boards of Canada‘s 1969

Bob Moses’ Love Brand New

Bobby Timmons‘ Moanin

Chat Pile: God’s Country*

Coil, lots of Coil.

Cold Gawd: God Get Me the Fuck Out of Here

Conway the Machine‘s John Woo Flick & Stressed

Daniel Rossen: You Belong There

David Axelrod‘s The Human Abstract & The Fly

Depeche Mode‘s In Your Room

Dexter Gordon‘s Cheese Cake

Don Cherry: Brown Rice

Earth: Earth 2

Emeka Ogboh: 6°30′33.372″N 3°22′0.66″E

Eric Dolphy: Out There*

Fivio Foreign’s What’s My Name

Gnod: Hexen Valley

God Body Disconnect: Spiral of Grief

Grachan Moncur III*

Hainbach: Core Memory

James Nasty’s Don’t Stop

Kae Tempest‘s Salt Coast

Kilo Kish: AMERICAN GURL

Kristofer Maddigan‘s Funfair Fever

Lovesliescrushing, lots of Lovesliescrushing*

Mario Lino Stancati‘s Torna a sparire

Pan Daijing: Tissues

Paradise Blossom: Sunset Getaway

PJ Harvey, lots of PJ Harvey

Pusha T: It’s Almost Dry

Rachika Nayar: Heaven Come Crashing

The Smile’s Open The Floodgates, Waving A White Flag & Skrting On The Surface*

Sondra Sun-Odeon‘s Desyre & Hit

Sonic Youth: Washing Machine*

Sonny Sharrock*

Sudan Archives: Natural Brown Prom Queen

Yeah Yeah Yeahs: Cool It Down

Yellow Swans, lots of Yellow Swans*

Youth Valley: Youth Valley EP

Zola Jesus’s Sewn

Bold and italicized indicates a favorite released this year.

The Beyoncé, Chat Pile, Emeka Ogboh and God Body Disconnect albums are my favorites from the year. The Daniel Rossen album gets a special mention for being beautiful, and sounding like Yellow House part 2. According to my Last.fm, I listened to more music this year than I did last year. I said I wasn’t going to do that, but oh well. I listened to over 50 albums from this year. That list only mentions 18 of them.

I have pretty much stopped listening to commercial radio. Ari, Fivio and Bob Moses are the only things I heard on the radio I liked this year.

The last two years have been me casting a rather large net, and seeing what I found that I liked. This year has been me exploring artists adjacent to the ones I learned about and fell in love with over these past two years. Then there was my desire to really dive deeper into jazz this year. While I’m sure that’s going to continue, because there’s just so much to explore. Next year I want to start digging through all of the electronic albums the synth bros swear are the most important albums ever made.

Beyoncé: Very early into getting into synths I realized that most of the synth forums are populated by obnoxious cis white heterosexual dudes. A guy I follow on Youtube made a video about his interactions with them a year or two ago. They are very closed minded. They do not respect artists of color, women, the usual shit. When Aphex Twin picks up an 808, it’s the greatest thing of all time. When Beyoncé or Metro Boomin pick up an 808 or Pharmakon uses her modular, that’s not music. The fact that RENAISSANCE explicitly culls its influences from Black dance music throughout the past 50 years has made listening to it the most fun I’ve had this year. If you’ve listened to any of the patches I’ve uploaded in the past 6 months, you’ll hear there’s been an influence.

Chat Pile: That’s what living in America feels like right now. Watching shit collapse around you.

Eric Dolphy: My first jazz albums were A Kind of Blue and other late fifties early sixties Miles albums. They all sound like what I expected jazz to sound like. It took me moving on to seventies Miles and finally late Coltrane for me to come back to those sixties albums. I’ve expanded what I listen to since then, but I really wanted this year to be the year I really went searching for jazz that scratched an itch the way I do for other styles. This was the year it really hit me that I’ll never get to hear all the music I’ll ever want to hear. There’s a sub genre of jazz named third stream, it attempts to meld classical and jazz together into a new genre. I’m not sure if he was actively attempting to do this while he was alive, but his music has become an example of the style. This is just a gorgeous, haunting album.

Grachan Moncur III: A completely different style of jazz compared to Dolphy. Moncur‘s style was incredibly moody and atmospheric. Him, Mingus and Alan Shorter are my favorite jazz composers I’ve stumbled upon so far. Moncur was basically my guiding light this year. After finding his bandleader work, I started to look for albums that had him as a sideman and composer. That would introduce me to other soloist I enjoyed, and then I’d start getting into them. Rinse and repeat. So my favorite thing this year is learning to actually pay attention to who composed a song, and using that to open doors. My favorite jazz song is Mephistopheles, the last track on Wayne Shorter‘s The All Seeing Eye. I learned his brother Alan wrote it years ago, and that’s how I got into Alan’s music. This year has just been me taking that idea to the extreme. When I say this is the most music I’ve ever listened to in a year. I mean it......

Lovesliescrushing: Cough Syrup Shoegaze

The Smile: Every album Thom has worked on over the last decade has had an unreleased Radiohead song on it. Radiohead were the last band I super obsessed over when that was a thing I did. They’ve played a lot of these songs live, so I know and have heard them many, many, many times. I’ve known Skrting On The Surface for a decade now. It was my favorite of the unreleased songs. Skrting On The Surface has become another in a line of songs where I prefer the live version to the album version. Of course I can always look them up on Youtube, but everybody hears the album version. Who is looking up a poorly shot video with pristine audio of a unreleased Radiohead song from 2008. As a side note, this has ruined Swans’ To Be Kind and The Glowing Man for me. Those pre album live versions destroy the studio versions. The way The Seer, She Loves Us and Bring The Sun feel like bombs live. Michael was having rips of Not Here/Not Now pulled off of Youtube back when it came out. They sold it as a way to fund recording To Be Kind, but if you ever get a chance to hear that.... The live version of Avatar rearranged my DNA back in 2012.

Sonic Youth: Sonic Youth remind me of Miles Davis. I got Goo and Experimental Jet Set, Trash And No Star years ago, and just did not like them. I love Tunic, and that’s the only thing from them I would listen to. I kept hearing people talking about how amazing they were. Eventually I asked a mutual what albums they were listening to. He said he hated Goo and Experimental Jet Set, Trash And No Star too. He pointed me in the direction of Bad Moon Rising. I liked that and started moving forward. I picked up Washing Machine this year. If only I had started there........

Sonny Sharrock: Damn, damn, damn, damn!

Yellow Swans: I am typing this in late September. Right now I’m making beat heavy music with the Digitone and Syntakt, but in my dreams I make noise and drone.

I have not chosen what albums are going in the car next year. I usually choose months, if not years, yes years, in advance. I’m going to wing it next year.

Last year’s list.