#her studio might look a little different next time you see her bc i’m gonna move her into a different apartment

[fizzytoo]

⭐ farrah nouvel, recent college graduate and aspiring children's book illustrator is NEW IN TOWN

starting the new in town scenario for some casual rotational gameplay‼️ i remember starting it when it was first released but i never finished it :c i gave her a makeover back when it first played it, which you can see here <3 fun to look at bc you can see how much my style has changed 💥🫶🏽

[cherryyharryy]

i have an idea for a request (it’s totally ok if you don’t want to do it) like an angst-> fluff where one of harry’s songs accidentally gets leaked bc of y/n like she has something on a flash drive and the song is on another and they get mixed up and obviously he’s really mad at y/n and they have a fight he’s super snappy with her but something happens to her like she gets into a really big accidental or something and he forgives her bc he cares about her more tha the leaked song

WC: 2.7k

***

Damage control wasn’t even an option. 

Y/n sat there, staring at Harry’s laptop, numb to everything except the blaring desire to go back in time just two minutes. Two minutes is all she would need to undo possibly the biggest screwup of her life.

And the worst part is that this mistake ultimately doesn’t affect her. At least not in comparison to how it will affect Harry. And his band. And his team. Basically everyone involved with his career. 

Her mind is equally begging for her to shut down and come up with a plan—an excuse—something, Is there anyway this wasn’t my fault?  

She checks the time, her heart sinking to her stomach when she realizes Harry and his team will be back any minute. Any minute and she’s done for.

They’ve only been together for five months, officially. She’s still new to most everyone. She’s that girl Harry’s dating.

“I told you he played in that movie.” Jeff’s voice echoes outside the studio. Y/n closes the laptop and prays for strength. 

“I have him confused with someone else.” Harry bustles through the door, a small crowd of people filing in behind him, back to the spots they left an hour ago. “Hey darling,” he greets, “finish your paper?”

Y/n’s frozen, morbidly wishing he had found out about his song leaking on his own so she wouldn’t have to tell him. “Uh, almost.”

He kisses the top of her head and hands her a cup of frozen yogurt. “Your favorite.” 

“Thanks.” She sets it on the table she’s sat at while Harry pulls up a chair beside her. “Aren’t you guys still working?”

He waves in the direction of his band, “Mitch’s gotta fix his guitar.” He snickers, and slides his laptop out from under y/n’s hands. “Had a bit of an accident in the car.” 

Y/n’s head tingles with what must be nerve damage, her place in this world, her place in this room, decreasing in value as Harry opens his computer.

“It’s gonna melt.” He nods to her yogurt.

“I’m not hungry.”

He furrows his brow. “You alright?”

“Mhm.” She looks around the room, everyone busy getting back to work, light chatter passing among them. “Uh, actually, I uh, I have to tell you something.” Y/n tries to swallow the lump in her throat with no luck.

“Okay…” He shuts the laptop and gives her his full attention.

“Okay, um—”

“What the fuck!?” The room freezes as everyone turns toward Jeff. “Harry someone’s got a hold of your song!” 

Harry scrambles to his manager, complete shock on his face as they both stare down at Jeff’s phone. “Fuck.” They start to play a video, the sound of a girl screaming, with Harry’s unconsented voice playing in the background, fills the room. “How the hell did this happen?” He’s gritting through his teeth, neck red, veins bulging in his hands as he rips the phone out of Jeff’s hand. “HOW? Someone answer me!”

Y/N considers keeping quiet. Playing innocent. What good will it do to confess anyway? It’s not like it’ll undo what she’s done.

Sarah chimes in from across the room, “It looks like it happened half an hour ago. That’s when this video I’m looking at was posted.”

Y/n’s staring down at her lap, holding her head up with her fingers pressed into her temples when Harry slings himself back into the chair next to her.

“All that work, all that fucking work,” he nearly growls, “for some cunt to spread my unfinished song around for a buck.”

Y/n peers up to the room, a completely different picture compared to five minutes ago. Now there’s talk of lawyers and pressing charges while everyone shuffles around. Jeff slams the door as he steps out with his phone to his ear, and y/n knows she can’t claim denial, it’ll only make things worse.

“Uh, Harry?”

“What is it?” He doesn’t look at her, eyes glaring at his phone while another video plays of a group of people reacting to his song. “Glad they fucking like it.”

“Harry?”

“What, y/n?”

She shrinks under his gaze, mouth dry as she forces her confession out. “I uh, this is all my fault.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m so, so sorry. And I’ll do anything—I know I can’t fix it—but...”

Harry’s tongue presses against the inside of his cheek, his eyes narrowing in on her as a morbid silence forms a little bubble around them. “Go on,” he whispers with grit, “finish what you were gonna say.”

She stutters, desperately trying to figure him out. “I’m just sorry. It was an accident.”

“An accident? How did you even manage to do this?”

“I—”

“Do you have any idea what this accident means, y/n?”

She reluctantly shakes her head no.

“How the fuck did you do this?”

“I—I don’t know...I was taking a break from my paper, and, I don’t know Harry.” She’s in tears now, warm and salty as they spill down her cheeks. Her mouth wobbles around another apology, but no sounds make it out.

“Fix it.”

“What?”

He stands up, yanking his laptop off the table, pausing to glare at her one last time. “I said, to fix it.” With that he storms across the room, slinging the door open just as Jeff reenters.

“Harry, your attorney—”

“Forget it.” He turns around and points his phone towards y/n silently sobbing in the corner. “She’s gonna handle it.” He takes one step out into the hall and stops, spinning on his heels to face the studio. “Don’t speak to me until you do.”

Mitch’s guitar that was fixed and propped against the wall, crashes to the floor when Harry slams the door. 

Chatter passes around the room one more time, only now everyone seems to be in agreeance—that girl never should have been allowed in the studio, and maybe, Harry should break up with her.

***

Early morning rain fell outside Harry’s apartment. It was still dark, street lamps burning through the fog in the city below. His home fills with coffee as he pours his fifth cup; the prior four never offering more than a few sips before he had abandoned them somewhere, the counter, mantle, bookshelf, because he can’t talk without his hands.

Y/n sits on his couch. It’s velvet and pink and too big for one person. She hated it the first time he invited her over. If he breaks up with her, she’s going to tell him how ugly it is.

“I don’t know what you expect me to do.” She’s exhausted. She hadn’t hesitated to drive over when he finally responded to one of her hundreds of texts in the week since the mishap. But now she regrets it. They’ve been going in circles with the same argument for the past four hours. She’s convinced he invited her over just to be mean. She sighs, rubbing her temples. “I said I was sorry. You know that I’m sorry. And you know that I never, ever in a million years, would have done something like this on purpose.”

“I’m allowed to be angry with you. I have every right to be.”

“Do you, though?” She straightens up on his ugly couch and looks at him leaning against the doorframe that leads into the kitchen. “Aren’t you a little tired of hating me? God Harry, everyone else in the whole world has moved on except you.”

“It’s not everyone else’s song, is it? It’s not everyone else’s months and months of hard work. It’s not everyone else’s unfinished art? Nobody else is having to deal with a girlfriend that is so careless, so thoughtless, that she actually managed to leak my song!”

“Stop raising your voice at me!”

“You had no business snooping around my computer anyway! I told you you could work on your fucking paper, not to go prying around my personal shit!”

“You know what,” she scoffs, shooting up off the couch, “this argument is so pointless. You didn’t want me here so we could talk. You just wanted to torture me because you’re mad that people don’t love your stupid song.”

“What the fuck did you say?”

She brushes his shoulder as she passes by him, and a drip of his coffee spills onto his hand. He curses, and follows her into the kitchen where he lays his final cup down on the island.

“You’re being a baby because people aren’t fawning over you like they usually do.” She shrugs and slings her bag over her shoulder. “It’s not your best song, Harry.”

The veins in his neck strain against his flaming skin. His cheeks are sucked in, and if he bites down on the skin any harder he’ll puncture his face. “Get the fuck out.”

“I was already leaving, dumb ass.” She strides by him once more, practically feeling the heat steaming off his body. When she gets to the front door, she pauses with her hand on the knob. “Your couch is hideous, by the way. Just because you’re rich doesn’t mean you have to buy shitty looking stuff.”

When she slams the door behind her, the apartment shakes, and cold coffee spills from each cup.

***

It’s nearing five a.m. when y/n backs out of the complex. Her wipers race across the windshield, but do nothing against the downpour wreaking havoc in the city. She does her best to stay on what she assumes is her side of the road, swerving to the right each time headlights blind her.

“Shit.” Nothing is open, and she can’t even see where it would be safe to pull over to let the rain pass. But her home isn’t that far, and traffic isn’t too bad. 

She comes to a stop at a red light, only to realize she missed a left turn she should’ve made a minute ago. “Damn it. Fucking hell.”

As soon as the light turns green, she spins the wheel to make a U-turn, and if it hadn’t been for the rain, and her own clouded mind, and Harry’s voice echoing in her ears, she might have seen the truck who didn’t even try to avoid her.

***

It’s the headache from hell that wakes her up. And it’s the sterile smell of hospital that jogs her memory. And it’s a nurse not much older than y/n that says something about you’re lucky to be alive. 

She’s poked and prodded and asked a thousand questions before her IV is adjusted and a pill to ease one of the many pains scratching her body is handed to her in a small plastic cup. A police officer repeats half of this process, and somewhere in the mess of her reality, she learns that the other driver was sending a text to his wife when he plowed into her car. He’s at home and she’s here. Lucky to be alive.

She made calls to her mom and friends, and even managed to type out a decent email to her professors for her upcoming absence in class.

When she automatically pulled up Harry’s name on her phone, the last text he sent, the one inviting her over so he could make her more miserable than she already was, sat there in all its taunting glory.

What is she even supposed to say? Hey, I know you hate my existence right now, but I’m lying here in a hospital bed with bandages wrapped around my head. It’d be cool if you stopped by.

It’s not long before the sun pops up and reminds y/n of just how early it is. The clouds part, and it’s like it had never even rained, like it had never even been dark for hours, and if she closes her eyes, y/n can pretend that the past week hadn’t even happened.

***

 “How are you feeling today?” The nurse checks y/n’s IV, humming after her question.

“Just sore. Ready to get out of here.”

“We’ve started the paperwork, so shouldn’t be too long. Who’s coming to get you?”

Y/n blinks, feeling stupid she hadn’t thought this far ahead. She doesn’t even have a car anymore. The nurse looks over the computer monitor, waiting for a response.

“Uh, my friend.”

“Awesome. Dr. Kirby has to come check on you one last time before you leave. I’ll go see if he can stop by now, if you want to let your friend know.”

As soon as the nurse is out the door, y/n scrambles to turn her phone back on, and once it is, her lock screen is filled with missed calls and unanswered texts.

She’ll respond later; gives her something to do in the car to occupy her in front of Harry. 

She can’t call him. Harry’s not a monster, although the past week doesn’t exactly prove her case, but she knows he wouldn’t refuse to come get her. If anything, he’ll be annoyed she didn’t tell him about the accident sooner. But she’s too emotional to deal with hearing his voice.

She types out a text recounting her last 24 hours, along with the name of the hospital. He immediately reads it, and a moment later he’s trying to call.

To: Harry

I’m too tired to talk rn

She lies. And it works.

From: Harry

I’ll be there as fast as i can

***

“Baby?”

Y/n cracks her eyes open, irritated she never quite fell asleep. Confused as to why Harry’s calling her baby. Angry that she cares. And the next words out of his mouth are ones she’d been predicting.

“Why didn’t you call me? I would’ve dropped everything. You’ve been here all alone, shit. Are you okay? What hurts?”

He’s hovering over her, fidgeting, unsure if he can touch her.

“I’m fine now. Just sore. And tired.”

“Fuck I can’t believe this, I—”

“The doctor already said I can go. I’m not allowed to walk out on my own, so, you need to let the nurse know you’re here. She’ll take me down in a wheelchair.”

“Baby I’m so sorry-”

“No, Harry. You would still be busy hating my guts right now—”

“Hate you? I don’t hate you?”

“Well you did a great job this week making me feel otherwise.”

Harry sighs, gripping the bed frame and dropping his chin to his chest. When he looks back up he has tears brimming his eyes. “I’m sorry,” his voice cracks. “I know I’ve been an ass this week. I—you were right. I took out my anger from no one lovin’ the song on you.”

“Well it’s not no one. A lot of people did. And it’s unfinished anyway. You wouldn’t enjoy a meal if it was only cooked halfway.”

He nods, but y/n knows he’s only accepting her words because of the situation.

“You mean so much more to me than a leaked song. I’m sorry I treated you like shit. And that I—I made you think I hated you. You have every right to hate me.”

“You annoy the hell out of me, but I don’t hate you.”

His lips twitch, but a few tears slide down his cheeks. “I’m sorry.”

“I know.” She takes his hand off the rail and smoothes her thumb across his knuckles. “You can make it up to me by getting me out of here.”

“I can do that.” He kisses the top of her head and hits the remote to call for the nurse.

“You can really kiss me, y’know. I’m not gonna break.”

He’s hesitant, but slowly lowers his head to press his lips to hers. He’s timid, and his lips are still damp from tears, but it’s more relieving than either of them would ever admit.

The nurse ends their moment when she pops in the room, pushing a wheelchair in front of her. “Hi, you must be y/n’s friend.”

“Friend?” He peers down at y/n, suggestion lacing the word. “Care to explain?”

“Not really, I’m so tired.”

“Mhm.” He clicks his tongue, supporting her arm as she swings her legs off the bed. Once she’s standing and steady, he tucks her hair behind her ear and bends down so his mouth can graze her lobe. “Since we’re just friends, I guess you’ll have to sleep on my ugly couch.”

[snkpolls]

SnK Episode 62 Poll Results (for Manga Readers)

The poll closed with 314 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Manga Readers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll, click here.

--

RATE THE EPISODE 303 Responses

There was an interesting contrast this week between anime only viewers’ and manga readers’ reaction to the episode. Anime only viewers overwhelmingly felt positively about the episode. But for manga manga readers, many of the cuts in the anime dampened their enjoyment of the episode, and for some ruined it entirely. Still, overall, the episode got positive reception, even if it wasn’t overwhelmingly enthusiastic. 

a little rushed but still very enjoyable. it defo got the point across about Reiner's struggles

It was... Fine. I'll give it a solid 8/10 on emotional value and finally seeing these chapters animated. But accepting that the anime and manga are not the same and that there will be cuts is hard.

Wasn't very good. The cut scenes really hurt the pacing and overall story.

i thought the pacing was way too fast :(

Stunning. Beautiful 

Another great episode. My only criticisms are the music that was used at the beginning of the episode, which didn't really work, and the cuts but I understand why that had to happen.

Disappointing

Impeccable. The adaption was both efficient and emotionally effective. Zero misses so far - I'm officially a MAPPA ho. 

Really great! Feels different from the manga and makes me excited for future episodes, because even if it's not perfect, we will always have the original material + some fun new scenes that the anime is adding, can't wait for more

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING MOMENTS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 304 Responses

The much-anticipated scene where we learn amputee-kun is actually Eren was the most favored of the episode, with 37.5% of the vote. Following behind that with more narrow margins were the introduction to Marley’s titans, Annie and Reiner’s fight and Reiner’s suicide attempt. 

The first part was very rushed and I wasn't as impressed by it. But I was very impressed by the second part of the episode once the warrior kids made it to paradise. I also very much enjoyed how they animated the scene of Annie taking out her anger on Reiner after Marcel's death. There was just something about the use of colours that really appealed to me. 

The Reiner and Annie fight and Reiner's suicide disturbed me a lot more this time around, partially because I haven't read the chapters in a while, but this is easily one of my favorite episodes now.

WE GOT THE FULL ED LAST WEEK. AFTER SEEING IT IN ITS ENTIRETY, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT IT NOW? 294 Responses

The majority of the fandom are enjoying the new ending, with 65.6% loving both the song and the animation. 11.2% are enjoying the song… but not so much the animation. 11.9% feel that it’s “just okay.” Some are enjoying the animation, but not the song, and a few more dislike both. 

The song and the animation are truly beautiful and gorgeous. I couldn't imagine better. It is always so peaceful after the full of emotions episode. 

Beautiful song, although the bit with the streaks of shiny animation look like 480p and are a little boring. 

I didn't see it 

Bold of you to assume I watch the EDs and don't just skim ahead to the preview.

i'm not interested in the ending

There was a half ED?

ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 5, HOW MUCH DID YOU ENJOY THE SEQUENCE INTRODUCING ALL OF MARLEY’S TITANS? 303 Responses

A very tiny fraction of voters weren’t impressed with the way MAPPA executed the scene that introduces us to the Marley titans and why each warrior was picked for the titans they received. However, the majority of respondents felt very positively about the scene, with 221 even feeling they, too, will become a titan as a result of the awesomeness. 

I really liked the marley titan montage but why the hell were the female titan's boobs so big? It looked so out of poportion

It was awesome and I loved the introduction to the Titans

OUT OF ALL THE TITANS THE MARLEY MILITARY HAD 9 YEARS AGO, WHICH ONE WOULD YOU WANT TO HAVE? 299 Responses

Whether it’s for practicality or aesthetic reasons, we all have different titans that appeal to us more than others. This race was a close one, with the Female Titan holding on just slightly over the Jaw Titan in terms of favoritism. The Armored Titan came in at a distant third with the Beast Titan and Colossal closely behind. Only a very small fraction would like to inherit the Cart Titan from Piku-chan.

WHICH OG WARRIOR CANDIDATE WOULD YOU WANT TO ADOPT? 299 Responses

Overall, the majority (29.1%) wouldn’t want to adopt any of the OG warrior crew, whether because the responsibility is too much or because they don’t like kids at all (or perhaps, a missing third option being they don’t like any of them). But for those who would happily take on one of the OG warrior kiddos, 24.1% would most like to take Reiner home (and probably give him lots of hugs). 21.1% adore little Pieck and would shower her with parental love forever. 9.7% probably want to pinch little Bertolt’s cheeks, and 8.4% wish they’d adopted Annie instead of her father.

A LOT OF THE SHIGANSHINA BREACH HAS REUSED WIT ANIMATION FROM PAST EPISODES - THOUGHTS? 303 Responses

The majority of respondents felt positively enough about seeing WIT’s S1 style mixed in with MAPPA’s, with 42.9% feeling it flowed together well enough, and 26.4% understanding why they didn’t reanimate the event (despite preferring it if they had). 11.2% don’t care at all, and 8.6% think it was way too jarring. There are some who are reminded that they miss WIT’s style, and others who have a continued appreciation for MAPPA.

KAJI YUKI HAS LOWERED HIS VOICE A BIT TO DEPICT AN OLDER EREN. THOUGHTS? 301 Responses

Overall, nearly everyone seems to be pleased with Kaji Yuki’s more “mature” sounding Eren, with 76.4% feeling he is portraying an older and more jaded Eren perfectly. 11.6% are lost in their lust for a 2D drawing and are focused entirely on that (we understand lol). A few are simply indifferent to the lower tone, and a smaller percentage just prefer Eren’s voice prior to the timeskip. 

Anime onlys can spot him more difficult, which I like

Made sense to me, he’s not a teenager anymore after all, plus works better for this “new” Eren who’s less angry and shouty all the time.

I didn't even notice lol

Eren is adult so changing his voice was a very good choice. I like his new sound.

It was stupid that he ever talked so low before now. He was fifteen and he sounded like an adult, well they all do that bc it's standard anime shit but it makes it even harder when they become real adults.

NOW HE REALLY SOUNDS LIKE KENMA 🔥

WE’VE LOST COUNT OF HOW MANY TIMES WE’VE SEEN MARCEL GET EATEN. BUT OF THE OPTIONS BELOW, WHO DID IT BEST? 296 Responses

Seeing Marcel get eaten 2000 times seems to be a running gag at this point, so naturally we had to include this question. Whether it’s recency bias or objectively true, 44.6% feel that MAPPA’s take on Marcel’s death was the best. 30.4% feel that Isayama’s more recent art style truly does Marcel the most justice. 14.2% liked the way WIT Studio portrayed the scene and 10.8% like Isayama’s older, more grungy art style.

RIP Marcel

DO YOU THINK THAT REINER WAS CORRECT, THAT MARLEY WOULD HAVE HAD ALL OF RBA EATEN IF THEY HAD FOUND YMIR AND RETURNED HOME IMMEDIATELY? 292 Responses

In the hypothetical scenario that Reiner hadn’t convinced Annie and Bertolt to stay on the island, the majority feel that Reiner was wrong in his assessment that they would be executed practically on-site. 55.1% believe that the idea would have been out in the open, but ultimately rejected. Though, 35.6% feel that Marley is too ruthless and uncaring toward Eldians to care what the situation is, and would absolutely hand over their titans to others deemed more capable. Very few felt Marley would be understanding by default. Many write-ins feel that Reiner is the only one who would have been executed for the failure. 

Depends on if B/A emphasize that it was Reiner’s fault rather than their own.

If all of RBA got eaten then I think they wouldn’t use kids for their next attempt. Maybe teens around the age RBA were after training in Paradis military

Magath would have pointed out how wasteful it would have been, but probably even him couldn't have saved reiner

He was wrong. What would be the point of feeding them to other children, if they were the best candidates? Too much of work. 

Reiner said that there's a possibility that they couldn't find Ymir even if they try. He has a point. But I don't think Marley would have RBA eaten even if they lose Jaw.

They wouldn't go through with it because they seem to lack other qualified warrior candidates.

I think Magath and maybe Zeke would have tried to convince the government to not go through with it and that Reiner might have been the only one sacrificed.

Obviously. They would have indisputable proof that sending a bunch of kids to carry out a massively important mission is the dumbest shit they could have ever done and immediately they'd put the titans into older soldiers.

They'd let them live a few more years just for propaganda and used them for other battles, then they'd have them killed around their midterm.

Possibly, but they put a lot of time, effort, and money into training their warriors. It would be a big decision to execute all of them and start over. Maybe they would have executed Reiner as an example.

WHAT’S THE FORECAST FOR TONIGHT? 295 Responses

In our least-serious question of the poll, we asked you guys to try and predict the weather based on Bertolt’s sleeping pose. 18.3% believe his legs-on-the-wall pose means clear skies, 13.9% are certain it means rain. 13.6% are confident in an overcast night. At 11.5% foresee storms coming and 11.2% think it’s gonna be snow. 18% are probably just annoyed with the question. A few write-ins pointed out that Bertolt was, indeed, sleeping in the Hanged Man Pose.

It’s gonna be partly guilt ridden old man with a 90% chance of suicide by hanging

Blood and guts

HOW IS THAT EVEN COMFORTABLE?

Let's just call it hail

Hanged man posture, dreamed about the old man

raining titans

No one can make me like the warriors even if I don't blame them for what they were forced to do as kids. idc what quirky habits they have.

There'll be clear skies for some time but don't be deceived, heavy rain is incoming

This was amazing because it's a reference to The Hanging Man on Tarot cards: he's willingly being hanged for his sins. Look it up, it's so cool.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT MAPPA CUTTING A GOOD CHUNK OF REINER’S TRAINING? 302 Responses

With only 20(ish) minutes to fit in all of Reiner’s backstory, cuts were inevitable. MAPPA made the decision to nerf most of Reiner’s struggles training as a Warrior Cadet (among a couple other more lengthy scenes during and after the wall breach). 62.9% are sad that some of these scenes didn’t make the cut, but also understand that we can’t have it all. 13.2% actually preferred seeing Reiner’s backstory in MAPPA’s condensed version, while 12.9% feel it completely ruins the characterization of the warriors.

I don't even remember what was cut 😂

Slightly ruined the warriors’ characterisations (especially Reiner’s)

I thought they could have shown a bit more about Reiner's underdog, it's something that really made me sympathise with him in the manga. 

Kinda disappointed, since some scenes were essential for a little background on their lives

Honestly, even after all the cuts and the restrains it tells the story of a "warrior", Reiner.

Mappa fucked RBA backstory and I would bet it's because they are biased towards Eren and 104th...

I wouldn't say it ruined their characterisation, but it did leave it a lot more shallow. I would've loved to see those scenes animated, but I also realise that things will have to be cut to fit everything in, and I think these cuts still preserve the forward momentum of the story reasonably well. 

The important scenes were animated, so it's good that way

MAPPA cannot animate every panel and the best will be, if fandom finally understands that. Every episode has limited amount of time and MAPPA is doing everything they can to make episodes good and easy to understand for anime onlies. I was fine with cutting because I know that episodes aren't long and there are more important stuff to animate than every part of training.

WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT NOT SEEING ANNIE PARTICIPATING IN THE FIRST WALL BREACH? 298 Responses

MAPPA completely glossed over Annie’s role in the wall breach, showing her being choked by Reiner and then waking up in the refugee camp later. 40.9% state they would have preferred seeing Annie play her part in the mission, though they accept that it isn’t there. 34.6% are concerned that those who don’t read the manga will just be confused as to where Annie was during all of the chaos (Oh no! Did RB leave her passed out in the fields!?). 16.1% are simply just disappointed altogether. A small fraction felt it wasn’t necessary anyway and have no problems with the cut. 

I feel kinda iffy about it because that was one of my favorite parts of the chapter, but oh well... it is what it is.

Kenny's scene should be eliminated.

I mean it's not like the female titan could destroy the walls herself. I think nobody expects it and then her absence makes sense

Yams did an oopsie in the first place retconing 

It really confused me lol for a moment I completely forgot what she even did in the manga and had to reread

KNOWING NOW THAT ANNIE IS ACTUALLY ADOPTED, DOES THE JOKE ABOUT HER BEING KENNY’S LOST DAUGHTER HIT DIFFERENTLY NOW? 299 Responses

We learn after Annie comes out of the crystal that her father is actually an adoptive parent. Annie, in an attempt to cover up why she’s stalking Kenny in the underground, claims (or jokes) that she was born to a brothel worker and is Kenny’s lost daughter. We asked if this made the joke any less funny to readers, though most of them didn’t think so at all. Only 14% of respondents say the new knowledge actually makes it a little sad. Some people forgot entirely that Annie is adopted and voiced their confusion in the write-ins. 

wait,,,,, she.,,,, she's adopted ??? wha- how did i completely forget about this

Kenny's gay anyway so it's impossible! Sorry, Annie :/

I don't really get this joke tbh 😅 Do people think she and Kenny look alike?

We're all Kenny's lost daughter

It just brings into question her true parentage, like how she can scream summon other Titans and if that’s a royal blood thing or not. But probably doesn’t matter since it hasn’t come up in the manga yet 

I hadn't thought about it before today.

She's adopted?!?

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT MAPPA’S EXECUTION OF REINER’S ATTEMPTED SUICIDE? 302 Responses

With such a weighty scene, execution is of utmost importance. So we were curious if you guys felt that MAPPA hit the mark. Overall, MAPPA’s take on this scene got positive responses from the fandom, with 42.4% feeling they felt about the same as they did when the scene came up in the manga. 26.5% actually thought that MAPPA did a better job with the scene, whereas 26.2% felt that Isayama’s original take on the scene is still superior. 

I think that while the manga's intent is for the reader to feel Reiner's pain and emotions during what he thought were his last moments, the anime focuses much more on making it disturbing and depressing (both taking into account the same things, just choosing to highlight different aspects of the scene). Not a bad change but I prefer the manga's portayal, it made me feel so much more attached to Reiner

Actual scene was good, but the build up was lacking.

I really liked the flipping back and forth 

Not nearly as emotional as I expected

The lighting was so good in the anime version. 

Bruh we needed the flashbacks cause they depicted Reiner's journey and regrets

I think it was more impactful in the manga, but MAPPA did it amazing too

The scene looked more serious but the building of the characters didn't live up for the moment. 

It impacted me differently than in the manga. I prefer the manga scene, but the anime's was still really good

I was worried about it being overly censored so I’m glad it wasn’t 

The execution was about the same, but it had a bigger impact when you read it for the first time

The drool was a great touch

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING CUTS WERE YOU DISAPPOINTED DIDN’T MAKE THE EPISODE? 292 Responses

While we shouldn’t dwell on cuts too much, there will still be things that people are disappointed didn’t make it into the anime. The scenes which were most missed this week were Annie’s role in the wall breach, Reiner passing along a tired Annie over to Bertolt atop the wall, RBA discussing their infiltration plans in the field (also known as the tree-uprooting scene), seeing Bertolt, Annie and Marcel surpassing Reiner in their training, and Reiner breaking up Eren and Jean’s fight (noticing Annie is exhausted). Well, at least the manga still exists, right?

I wish they didnt cut some of the flashbacks right before Reiner tried to kill himself. 

Really great episode, but Bertholdt looking up at the wall before breaking it was such an iconic panel, I'm a bit sad

Any cuts are a negative. I dont care how much it makes sense for the anime onlies, I just wish they somehow incorporate some of the small slice of life scenes that made the Marley arc special.

Truly loved it despite cuts and pacing, but just wish we could’ve seen that tree uprooting scene!

I still hold the sentiment that Mappa is cutting way too much from these episodes. The amount of small details getting cut from every chapter/episode results in losing out on smaller moments that in my opinion have a real impact. While I understand a 1 to 1 replica might not be possible, the amount of cuts is too much imo. Missing out on nearly all of RBA assaulting Shiganshina was a huge disappointment, and less Falco and Gabi scenes makes it tough for me to connect to them. Talking to my Anime-only friends though, they are very into this season, so I'm glad to hear it works for them. 

I'm not necessarily sad they cut so much, I feel like as an Anime only I wouldn't have noticed! The only thing I wish that had been kept was Annie's involvement in the destruction of wall Maria. 

I was sad they cut stuff but that’s inevitable.  The only cut I’m sad about is the scene before Bertholdt  breaks the wall.

some of the cuts made sense, some made other scenes kind of occur out of nowhere, like annie with kenny.

SO FAR, WE’VE LOST A FEW INTERACTIONS BETWEEN FALCO AND GABI AND SOME MOMENTS WHERE FALCO IS BLUSHING OVER HER. DO YOU THINK THIS WILL LESSEN THE IMPACT OF HIS EVENTUAL LOVE CONFESSION TO HER? 296 Responses

While the Falbi romance isn’t a major focal point of the series, it does play a big part in their storyline and overall character development as their involvement in the plot increases. MAPPA has had to let a few scenes go, so we were curious if manga readers felt it would lessen the impact of Falco’s inevitable confession just before the rumbling starts. 31.4% feel that the anime is doing just fine at portraying Falco’s feelings. 28.4% feel the impact will be lessened, but that it’s fine due to it being a minor plot point anyway. 14.5% are upset about the missing pieces and 11.8% think MAPPA will make up for it later. Smaller groups of voters either don’t understand why Falco likes Gabi or just don’t care. 

I'm more dissapointed about Zofia and Udo getting cut than those two.

Kid romance is lame anyway

It's not gonna hit like the manga but it's still pretty important plot imo

What works on paper doesn't always work animated, they're doing ok 

I hate gabi gahh

It is obvious he likes her anyway

Not really, they've established he has a big crush on her since he pretty much came out and told it to Eren

DO YOU THINK MAPPA DID A GOOD JOB OF HIDING EREN IN PLAIN SIGHT? 297 Responses

We failed to ask this question last week, but it still applied well to this week’s episode. When it came to anime only fans, we wondered whether manga readers felt MAPPA did a good job at making him as mysterious to anime watchers as Isayama did to us manga readers. 40.1% felt that MAPPA did a great job, as many anime watchers didn’t seem to catch on. 25.6% feel that they didn’t do any worse or better than Isayama did. 13.8% feel MAPPA did not do as well as Isayama, as some anime watchers easily caught on. 9.4% think they did completely awful at pretending it’s not Eren. Some write-ins felt we couldn’t objectively judge this as we already knew it was Eren anyway. 

I think the voice gave it away the most. The sneaky animation was great! 

Hard to answer because chapters were a month apart while episodes are weekly and I’ve already read the manga when it came out

well, I can't say much about this. since I know he is eren, I was just focusing on how Kaji Yuki will handle this important speech

They even didn't try to hide him. I'm disappointed because I wanted anime onlines to feel what we - manga readers - felt, when after few chapters we found that the hobo man was Eren. 

I honestly didn't even realize he was supposed to be hidden from the readers/viewers at this point. It was so obviously him in the manga and the anime. Genuinely confused by how many people did not catch on. 

Watching some reactors they were like "...wait...that *looks* like Eren...but his leg is amputated...his leg would've grown back??" but as soon as you heard his voice it was instantaneous 

I, being a manga reader, had a hard time getting how you couldn't see that it was Eren, but some of my friend only got it at the last scene.

Hard to say. WIth the manga, it took me a few reads to catch on, but now that I KNOW, it's hard to say anything.

Yes, I'm watching the episodes with my anime-only friend and he still hasn't figured it out

I think they did a good job, but with anime being the medium it was easier to guess due to both hair/eye color and voice.

It was nice, I was actually surprised that some of my anime only friends didn't even realize that it was Eren talking to Falco this episode

When Eren was finally revealed in the manga, I was *shocked! I had *no clue that was him! I think the anime did a great job, but of course had to reveal him sooner. It was perfect both in manga and anime imo.

It's obviously him once you see his eyes, but I don't think that the animation team were trying to make it a big shock reveal, they want this scene to say "this is probably Eren, but can you be 100% sure" to keep anime onlys engaged and reassure them that the main cast is still relevant.

Yes, but the manga hid him better, it took me way too long to realise it was him while reading

HOW WAS KAJI YUKI’S DELIVERY ON EREN’S SPEECH TO FALCO? 299 Responses

The vast majority of respondents were very pleased with Kaji Yuji’s delivery on one of Eren’s most prominent speeches. 38.1% felt it was exactly as they had hoped it would be. 28.1% were extremely happy, and feel that any delivery by Kaji Yuki as Eren will be 100% spot-on. 24.7% are simply just content with it. Smaller fragments of respondents just wanted to voice their thirst, or felt that the delivery could have been better. 

Better than I could have ever imagined

I don't really care

Eren is the best main character ever

Not my native language so I can't really tell how good it is, but Kaji's delivery seemed about right

It was a bit fast but good

Very good. You get a real sense of how clueless but trying to be tough Eren really is.

EREN TELLS FALCO HE HOPES FALCO LIVES A LONG LIFE. KNOWING WHAT WE DO NOW, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT HIM SAYING THIS? 298 Responses

Eren already knows he will bring destruction upon the world, so it’s a wonder why he would bother telling Falco he hopes Falco will have a long life. 64.8% believe that he truly means it from the bottom of his heart, despite knowing his future actions will likely affect Falco. 10.7% believe he said this because he has already seen that Falco will survive the Rumbling. 10.1% aren’t really sure what to make of it at all. Smaller numbers of people think Eren was only trying to gain Falco’s trust and didn’t mean it at all, or believe that Falco will take part in Eren’s eventual demise and Eren is already aware of that. 

He saw him in his memories so imma believe what he says

I'm sure there is part of Eren that hopes for a good long life for Falco. Just like there was part of him that couldn't help but save the refugee kid. But that doesn't mean he isn't any less dedicated to his plan to genocide a whole lot of people. He has his conflicts, but in the end he's still going ahead with the attack on the square and later with the rumbling.

I think it's the same deal as him saving the immigrant kid when he knew that he would die in the rumbling.

In an ideal world Eren would want *everyone* to live a long life--he's been portrayed as someone who cries and disassociates while he commits his genocide so we're meant to understand he doesn't enjoy it. Sadly it doesn't matter what he hopes or wants when he's decided murdering everyone is what has to be done..

THE PREVIEW SHOWED PIECK AND PORCO NEXT TO REINER AT THE DAYTIME FESTIVAL. THIS WAS NOT IN THE MANGA. WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS MEANS ABOUT POSSIBLE ANIME-ONLY ADDITIONS? 298 Responses

Many of our respondents seem to be looking forward to Pieck and Porco’s inclusion in the daytime festival. 47% are hopeful that this will mean some wholesome bonding scenes between the Warriors and the kids. 26.5% don’t know what to make of it, but are looking forward to it nonetheless. A handful of people think it will be similar to how WIT included Sasha in the Clash arc - adding minor details without changing anything in the story-line. 7% wish that MAPPA wasn’t doing this at all, and 5% are hopeful this means that MAPPA will find a way to repurpose Pieck crawling on all fours next episode. 

I still want Pieck butt

IN THAT SAME VEIN, IT SEEMS LIKE EPISODE 4 WILL ADAPT CHAPTERS 97 AND 98, ENDING ON THE FINAL PANEL OF 98. HOWEVER, THE VAST MAJORITY OF CHAPTER 97 WAS ALREADY ADAPTED IN LAST WEEK’S EPISODE. WHAT WILL THIS MEAN FOR EPISODE 4? 293 Responses

Who wants to place bets on the contents of next episode? While the largest chunk of people don’t know what to expect in episode 4, others are happy to speculate. 19.8% feel (or are at least hopeful) that MAPPA will fill in some screen time by repurposing already-skipped scenes. 19.1% feel that there will be minor additions, but not too much. A solid 16% feel that there will be a few anime only additions during the daytime festival. 10.9% are placing bets that episode 4 will actually bleed into chapter 100 before the end.

Mappa won't have to cut a lot of stuff like they did to ep 3

The title "From One Hand to Another" immediately made me think we would actually be getting Eren grasping Reiner's hand and transforming at the end (meaning chapters 100 and 101), but that's just so much. The title may just refer to Magath and Willy's handshake. 

What about just enjoying the show?

WHICH SCENE FROM THE PREVIEW ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 298 Responses

As expected of the fandom! Reiner and Eren’s reunion is the most anticipated scene for episode 4, with 74.8% having voted for that. 17.1% are most looking forward to the daytime festival, and 6% are excited to meet Willy in anime form for the first time. One commenter is very invested in the banquet and how it’s executed. 

Not this ep but if they cut the Udo and Kiyomi scene I'll RIOT!

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

I'm upset so much was cut from Reiner's backstory but the cinematography is freakin' excellent I can't even complain

*cheers MAPPA animators for their hard work* ... Perfect for anime onlies, I think. Made me almost wish I hadn't read the manga so I wouldn't have missed the cut scenes.

Cuts aside, the animation was much better than the previous episodes. 

"The one scene I really wanted was Bertholdt looking over the wall and seeing the EMA trio. Of all the cuts, I think that was the only one that was damaging to the story. I also kind of wish that MAPPA animated the reused scenes. I kind of like comparing and contrasting the animation styles of both studios so its a bit of shame that we didn't get anything new from Episode 1.

I'm really impressed with how much MAPPA is managing to squeeze in each episode and I'm content that Reiner's flashback was covered in a single episode rather than two. It just makes sense pacing-wise. The only real criticism I have is that in the flashback scenes where everyone is supposed to be 12 years old, they don't sound 12 at all. Their voices are way too mature, especially the males, and I understand they're voiced by adults, but I feel like they could have at least tried to sound more like kids. Other than that, great episode.

Elaborating on the missing content: they really shouldn’t have cut Annie’s transformation prior to wall Maria being breached. It makes it look like Reiner choked her out and then a minute later bert was kicking the wall through. 

I'm in the boat, where i think it wouldve been better if Mappa didnt cut out so much, but considering what there is to cover, we will live,but i hope they dont end up butchering everything Also the bit with reiner’s dad would be confusing to anime-onlies since it cross-cuts between that scene and him on the parade. I’ve seen some reactors think it was a daydream, or that he left during the parade. 

It was quite rushed, but I understand why they did it, the flashback wouldn't have been as impactful over 2 episodes, and I do think when the Marley arc was first introduced in the manga, manga readers were quite inpatient to get back to the main cast, so they might be feeding off that feedback. 

Mappa has become my favorite studio of all time. Not just in regards to anime, but studios in general. Their discography is on another level (imo) and the fact that on top of every other masterpiece they’ve made, they’re doing an outstanding job with my favorite series of all time just solidifies them as the first and probably the only anime studio that I can truly Stan.

Lots of (I think) Important stuff cut, but the meat is still in place. I like my meat to be juicy and marbled, while Mappa cut out all the fat that makes for a flavorful meal. I completely understand why and I am apathetic about it.

disliked the fact the wall breach was so quickly glossed over, and the transition between mappa and wit style was jarring to say the least

Regardless of the cuts, i think it flows together nicely. The anime has always been more speedy than the manga so i kind of expected this. I don't think it'll get as bad as s3 part 1 in terms of pacing. I trust in Mappa, so far i haven't been disappointed at all. The animation and backgrounds are absolutely stunning. That warrior titan sequence was incredibly well done. Props to the animators!

It was a bit confusing mishmash of scenes, but there were some good moments sprinkled in like the introduction of all of Marley's titans. The emotional reactions, however, just weren't the same as they were when reading the manga, to be honest.

I’m really glad they cut the part with RBA hanging onto Female/Armoured neck by a rope. That whole thing seemed stupid to me. Doesn’t match up with previous chapters and I feel like SOMEONE would have noticed two kids hanging onto the Armoured Titan’s neck. 

I think MAPPA is doing a really good job so far, can't wait to see the battle in Liberio. I'm not bothered at all with the CG titans because firstly, they look really good, and secondly, I understand why they had to do it. I also hope they don't censor many things or cut out some dark scenes that are important to the season because I would love to see everything animated. 

Felt like watching a recap episode... And it wasn't supposed to be one, so

I'm really dissapointed that mappa cut so many things from manga. Reiner's backstory is my favoure part of snk. Suicide scene completly lacks impact. 

I really dislike the fact that MAPPA is trying to show only bad side of the marleyan officers. They removed the gate guards, they removed the scene where Magath is telling RBA to stay safe (on Paradis). One of the best parts of the manga is showing that the both races (Eldians and Marleyans) have good and bad sides. By removing positive aspects of Marleyans MAPPA is creating totally different picture. This way the anime onlines may find the whole rumbling even more justified. The episode was pretty good and the OST has made some scenes to feel more dark and serious (especially the moment where the new titans are introduced), but sometimes I feel like the characters are speaking and acting way too fast. I was waiting for the scene with Kenny and Annie, but it took only like few second and was cut. I love MAPPA's version of Kenny. He has more serious aura and looks more like his manga counterpart. In other words;  wrinkled grandpa with skinny neck :) 

It honestly wasn’t my favorite, but I still loved it. I feel as though they skipped around a lot and there wasn’t a lot of scenes that actually tied together and I’m worried anime only watchers might get confused. Definitely some of the stuff I wanted to see animated didn’t make the cut, but I still love the animation style, the characters and the story!

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 285 Responses

Thank you to everyone who participated! We’ll see you again next episode.

[jae-canikeepyou]

| one and only | j.jh

pair: jaehyun x fem!reader

genre: alternate universe + idol!jaehyun

a/n: this is prior to this scenario and majority of it is written in jaehyun’s perspective. not proof read again bc i wrote this in one go huehuehue. i hope you enjoy reading my lovelies. 💕 ~j.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

jaehyun sat at one corner of the recording studio. taeyong insisted that he should go with them to the bar, but he declined the offer as he was occupied with his thoughts, that were only ever about you. he had his elbow propped against the coffee counter while his friends drank the night away. being it the end of another exhausting but worth-it tour, he still felt empty because he didn’t get to see you despite visiting the city you were living in.

sure it had only been hours since they landed to seoul, yet he hasn’t gotten a message from you when he needed to hear you the most. understanding that you loved your work, he couldn’t bring himself to call you. hesitant because you were the type to focus on one thing you’ve started on before heading to the next. and probably reply a day after. drinking the second cup of americano, his mind trailed back to the airport’s arrival hall.

“yo jae let’s hit the club. the company booked the bar to ourselves and there are bouncers around the area so we’re free to get wasted.” yuta clung onto the male when all he got was a shook of the head. 

“and we’re also free from bombarding cameras and press who kept following us city to city. we’re gonna go to the dance floor. you in bro?” taeil continuously tapped jaehyun, yet the same response was given.

it was obvious he wanted to be left alone. why couldn’t his friends see the dark circles or the slight swell around his eyes? he has you as his girlfriend, the club wasn’t the place for him. you were home to him. he waved his hands to refuse, finally getting the ‘okay’ from them, but he prepared his answer for the next question.

doyoung joined the small crowd by enveloping them in his long arms with an excited expression. “why aren’t you coming? you didn’t come last time too. why refuse again?” seeing the male hop into the group’s van, they looked at each other before jaehyun gestured them to hop in as well. “we’re gonna talk with new people because really, i’m getting fed up for always seeing you guys at the dorm.”

“i’ll pass. you should know i have y/n.” jaehyun plugged his airpods to his ears, not wanting to be asked or be disturbed. he slid at little lower to hide himself behind the seats up front. were his actions not enough to show that he was forever faithful to you? what much more does he have to prove that he was clearly with you?

taeyong then turned back to the male and decided to let him be. “going to the club doesn’t mean we’re seeing girls, jae.”

jaehyun gave a bitter scoff and roll of an eye out of slight irritation and covered his face further with his cap. “doesn’t look like that way when the hyungs asked.”

“i’m sure they didn’t mean it that way since they’re really pumped up. we know you miss her a lot.”

for all the months he has been with you, they should know by now that he gave his heart to you. you were different from others he tried seeing in the past. old friends or classmates of his would suddenly get in contact where he thought they’d want to catch up; only with intentions to make use of his fame due to his name plastered at every poster or advertisement. 

truth to be told, you and him never have a fallout. it was just that, time got in between that he was desperate to talk to someone when you were busy. he kind of had a dilemma when one artist personally messaged him, and his hands were so close to press the send button. he didn’t, because, his mind and being still longed and looked for you.. only you.

what made you stand out to him that whilst everyone else saw his fame and name, you saw him for his heart. if you weren’t a youtube sensation, somewhere in his heart, he knew that if he were to meet you in another lifetime, you would still see him beyond what the media or the public portrayed him to be.

he let out a loving smile at the episode and videos you organised to a playlist, giving seasonal outfit ideas for your viewers. it might be in his imagination but there was a shine and aura in you behind the screen. you were twirling around with every set of outfits but his favourite has to be you with a white tee and jeans; not too classy or all out. it was his type and something he’d want to see on regular dates.

he then visited your instagram, scrolling to that one post that became the key to revealing your relationship to the world. the picture showed a sakura tree behind the curtains of your hotel in seoul, where he was out in tour at the time. the caption was what had him feeling giddy and bliss beyond the moon and stars.

“no matter what, i love you for who you are and who you’re gonna be.”

some figured the hints and supported while other took it the wrong way, claiming it was false new and saying you both would never make it. he knew it would end up like this, but he didn’t care what other thought about.

jaehyun went to imessage screen to text you, but his eyes widened when a grey speech bubble popped up, indicating you were online and typing away.

[23:25] y/n ♡ : lovey! i’m free rn~ facetime? :D

a smile crept his lips when he pressed the answer button and you were already brimming with tears since it had been a while, for he shushed your cries. he didn’t care whether distance was in between the both of you. he didn’t care if you were far away. you were worth waiting for, and he’ll wait for the time he would have you in his arms.

jaehyun gave you a flying kiss before you heard his low, husky voice; 

“hey lovey, i missed you.”

[rokutouxei]

the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

ikemen vampire: temptation through the dark theo van gogh / mc | T | [ ao3 link in bio ]

The challenge seemed pretty simple: to try to befriend the university bookshop’s most sour employee, Theo van Gogh. As a literature major with a boatload of book recommendations on her back, it ought to be a simple task indeed. But as she uncovers what lies between Theo’s pages, the more she finds it harder to become closer to him without having to put the feeling directly into words. What can she learn from Theo about what it means to stay—and how can she teach Theo about what it means to let go? | written for ikevamp big bang 2020!

[ masterpost for all chapters ]

CHAPTER 9 OF 22

You will let my tender hook Catch the folded darkness inside you, let me occupy The dented place at the base of your throat. - "One Life", Carlomar Arcangel Daoana

--

She wakes up late.

Comically late.

No hangover, thank god—but it’s 11am and she’s dressed in lent pajamas in a bed that isn’t her own. She shoots up to sitting position in a second, and standing in a minute, trudging out the room to the bathroom at the end of the hall.

By the time she’s up and out of the room, a little more awake, Dazai and Arthur have already long gone, the only remnants of their presence the bit of glitter that they had wiped onto the sofa they nestled in.

And text messages.

She squints when she reads it, not because she had a hard time reading what it said, but—because she couldn’t believe what it said.

A series of text messages from Dazai:

[ 7:23 | Dazai ] ur still asleep but ur friend kinda hot

[ 7:24 | Dazai ] ofc I woke up first but his eyelashes tho???

[ 8:32 | Dazai ] pls tell me he’s not a douche bc im rly gonna jump him

[ 9:03 | Dazai ] mgonna jump him

[ 10:19 | Dazai ] abt to find out if he’s got the magnum sized dong u promised

Oh, god, what has she done.

With a groan, she heads down the hallway, phone securely in the pocket of the sweatpants, to see Vincent and Theo preparing a meal in the kitchen; Theo preparing some sort of fillet (fish? Chicken?) and Vincent frying some onions and garlic on the stove, filling the kitchen with a nice aroma.

“Good morning,” she says softly, as she shuffles onto one of the dining table chairs.

“Thought you died,” Theo says with a snort; but once he turns around to face her, all derision goes away in his face and is replaced by a quiet surprise.

Vincent beams as he turns to get the fillets from Theo. (It’s chicken.) “Good morning. Did you sleep well? No headache?”

She shakes her head. “Nope, I’m good. Thanks for letting me sleep here last night and for the clothes.”

“Of course, no problem at all,” Vincent answers, turning back to the pan. The chicken makes a sizzle as it meets the oil.

Theo is still staring at her with an odd look on his face.

“Earth to Theo?” she calls out, waving her hand in front of her. “Something wrong?”

“Broer. Why did you lend her my clothes.”

Oh.

“You know how most my shirts are, paint-stained in all the weird places.”

She feels the cling of the cotton around her skin so differently, so suddenly. Oh.

“She wouldn’t have minded, she was drunk.”

That’s correct, but—

Vincent smiles at Theo, the kind of smile one makes when they can see through someone; she’s filled with a kind of relief at knowing that Vincent can do that to Theo. Maybe the man isn’t an impenetrable a character after all. “No need to be shy, Theo.”

“I am not,” he insists, finally tearing his gaze away from her and heading to the sink to wash the used chopping board and the knife. “I just don’t want her wearing my stuff.”

She smirks. He is shy. True, she didn’t get the opportunity to think about what she was putting on last night because she was so tired and knocked out by the alcohol, but…if that was the price she had to pay to see this side of Theo she doesn’t have the opportunity to witness often, then it was worth it. Oh, the ever put-together Theo, brought to his knees by only one person in the world, the one he trusts the most: his brother.  “Is it because your personality is contagious?” she teases, “wouldn’t want to catch that.”

He answers her with a glare. “Reverse. It’s your stupidity that’s contagious.”

“Oh, we’re pretty much equally as stupid, Theo. No need to worry.”

“We are not,” he says, and then Vincent elbows him carefully.

“You really should be a little gentler to your friends,” Vincent comments, as he turns the fillet onto its other side.

Theo grumbles something unintelligible and it makes her laugh. Sitting in the kitchen, watching the two brothers side by side with their back to her as they prepare—she checks the clock—lunch for the three of them, she hums, content. She’s lived alone for all her life here in the campus, and it was one she looked forward to after living in a house crammed with people for most of her life. But sitting here, watching them share the chores and maybe have a little banter with each other—makes her reconsider that maybe, maybe settling down in even the worst of places isn’t that horrible when you’re in good company.

Theo opens the plate cupboard and hands her a set of it with some cutlery. “Set the table at least, freeloader?” He says, though his voice lacks all the venom his words otherwise had.

Okay, she’ll have to reconsider if Theo counts as “good company.”

--

Theo barely survives lunch with her and his brother because of how much he gets teased by the two. He might argue that this is worse than being stuck with her and Arthur because since it is Vincent, he does not get the leeway to have a comeback, only able to grumble in displeasure at being see-through. They stuff their bellies not only with Vincent’s famed chicken with herbs but also with a hefty amount of laughter.

She slides back (slightly disgusted) into her costume to walk back home in, confident that many other students will be trudging along the streets suffering the same fate. (“Not everyone wakes up as late as you.” “There’s bound to be at least one, right?”) When she comes out of the bathroom, there’s a book on top of his neatly-folded clothes.

They speak at the same time.

“I could wash these first before giving it back if you—” “You had that with you all this time?”

Silence.

She breaks it with a laugh. “Yeah, it was a Saturday. I didn’t want to break the schedule.”

“You get so thorough about the weirdest things,” he comments, but he takes the bundle in her arms anyway. “It’s alright, I’ll have them. Let me get you a book, too.”

She follows Theo into the studio, where he crouches in front of some bookshelves. Vincent peeps from behind his easel. “You should walk her home,” he offers, as Theo pulls a few books out of the shelf.

“No, it’s alright, I’ll be fine! I’m not drunk or dizzy. The walk will help clear my head.”

“It’s twenty minutes out,” Theo points out, getting up.

“Just promise that if you find me asleep on the street you’ll pick me up?”

Handing Murakami’s Dance, Dance, Dance to her, Theo grins. “I can’t promise that.”

“Oh, Theo, you know you will.”

Even when she is long out of his sight, the smile on his face does not go away. Even as the day shifts into mundanity. Even as he’s carting a bagful of clothes to the launderette. Even as he picks up some groceries on the way home. Even as he prepares dinner for Vincent, who is a few hours deep into painting.

Maybe for a moment, it goes away, but—

He thinks of her and the smile comes back full force.

--

She spends the rest of Sunday recovering and hiding away in her room after the very socially draining party, but by Monday she’s hopped onto her bike and headed for the literature club’s little gazebo. She’s left a message for Dazai, asking for company. Sure, they spent quite a lot of time together in the past week, after having jumped through thrift stores and boutiques for the perfect Night Circus costume (and yes, she made him read the book beforehand too, for good measure) but Saturday was quite a day. She’s brought a couple of cookies for sharing with him, sitting at their usual spot, looking out at the quadrangle next to it.

“Toshiko-san! Sorry we kept you waiting!”

The plural takes her off guard, and she turns to find that Dazai has brought a rather distracted-looking Isaac along, his hands in the pockets of his slacks. Isaac is always dressed so well—she supposes it’s part of the uniform or something of being seen as a respectable professor—but she sure does want to see him dress down once. T-shirt, shorts, that kind—Isaac seems to take everything too seriously.

The pleasant feeling of seeing a friend she hasn’t met up with in a long time is quickly replaced by confusion, as the science complex is nowhere near the Arts building. “Nice to see you here, Isaac,” she says, but also with the lilt of a question.

Dazai answers said question. “He’s here because he has nothing better to do, so I asked him to come.”

Isaac makes a face that’s both resignation and panic. “He passed by my office.” –and dragged me out because he wouldn’t take no for an answer, she finishes in her head.

“I see,” she answers, even though that’s not really an explanation in itself.

She knows Isaac through Dazai, and Dazai knows Isaac through a very peculiar class: Occultism 101.

A class team-taught by three major colleges in the university—the College of Arts, the College of Science, and the College of Social Sciences—Occultism 101 is one of the more controversial classes on campus because of its nature. It goes through a long history of the evolution and persistence of supernatural beliefs and practices among nations in the world, in that nice gray area between religion and science. There are only two kinds of students in Occultism 101: those who believe and who are genuinely interested, and those who do not believe and would like to spend an entire semester saying “bah! That’s not true!” to themselves all the time.

Occultism 101 is typically taught by professors from the College of Social Sciences and College of Arts with backgrounds in religious practices and other mystical behavior (whether in history or art), and then occasionally, in the middle of the semester, guest lecturers from the College of Science come in to give lectures on how these “supernatural events” may be explainable through scientific means. Say, how the piping system in a building can cause haunted “cold spots”, or how floating dust particles can come up in a photograph as “orbs”, or the likes.

And she doesn’t want to be very stereotypical about it, but a lot of people in the College of Science are pretty… well, square, and so no one really wants to teach Occultism 101, even if it’s only a few meetings in a semester. This is how this job ends up to unwilling, no-choice Ph.D. students such as Isaac.

It was just his luck that Dazai was in the section he taught.

“So, Osamu, care to tell us about your little date last Sunday?” she asks, as the other two have taken their seats across her. Dazai swoons a little at the mention of Sunday. Isaac looks at him with unsureness.

(Isaac has had the miserable experience of being the victim of Dazai’s flirtation at some point in time. One can see how that has instead simmer into a rather tentative friendship. All is well.)

Dazai rests his elbows on the table and places his chin on the palms of his hands. “He’s so dreamy.”

“No he isn’t,” she swiftly replies, without thought.

But Dazai pretends not to have heard it. “He’s not looking for a serious relationship though,” he adds. “Not that I am, either.”

“You aren’t?”

“No, sweetie,” Dazai explains. “But he’s my type and I’m his type and we couldn’t just leave it at that so I have his number now, and a little… arrangement.”

The word hangs in between them, swaying.

Oh no, that’s not any good. “What arrangement.”

“You don’t need to sound so concerned.”

“This is Arthur we’re talking about,” she insists, and the name makes Isaac flinch a little.

“Doyle, the med student?” Isaac asks, and she turns to him, blinking.

“You know him?” Remembering Arthur during the party, her mouth falls into a small o. “He knows you too, doesn’t he?”

Isaac scoffs. “Who in this university doesn’t?” Arthur’s pretty well-known to be a flirt. Something like having a checklist of bedding at least one person in every department—a rumor that would have been a little more shameful if the rumors also didn’t say how he was so good at it.

She nods. “Well, fair enough.”

“No, no, he’s an absolute sweetheart to me, so it’s definitely a you problem,” Dazai insists. “It’s just a friendship with benefits, yanno?” He emphasizes every of the following syllables with his tone and his hands: “Nice, big, hefty benefits.”

And even Isaac, who usually refrains from commenting no matter how much he has to say, has to quip with “Terrible choice, really.”

And she has to agree. “I respect you, but not your taste, Osamu.”

Dazai grins. “Understandable.” He picks up one of the sandwiches she’s prepared. “You make it sound like I’m the only one making bad decisions though.”

“Excuse me?”

He turns to Isaac. “You should have gone to the Halloween party. She brought her little boy toy.”

She scoffs. “He is not my boy toy.”

“You sure do have him around your finger though, getting in matching costumes and all that,” Dazai says. “Spends Saturdates with him all the time.”

The only strategy that will work in times like these is straight-up ignoring him. “Anyway—” she begins, about to steer the conversation away when Isaac speaks up.

“It’s nice to hear you’re getting close to other people,” he says softly. Isaac has a way of speaking that makes it always seem like he’s spent so much time thinking about what he said before he actually said it; so sometimes it’s hard to gauge if he’s saying it casually or entirely seriously.

So she blinks. “You make it seem like I have no friends, Isaac.”

“I-It’s not that!” he suddenly blurts. Ah, there. There’s the usual Isaac. “You’ve spent so much time focusing on your work lately, it’s nice to know you’re relaxing with other people sometimes.”

And he doesn’t say it, but she sure does hear it: the you haven’t been to the astronomy club in a while and it’s made me worried about you.

She doesn’t go religiously, but she used to attend fairly often to hang out with the other members and just look up at the stars. Isaac tries to organize at least two sessions in a month, one to look at the moon, and another to point at the stars. She hasn’t been able to catch them in a bit.

But then, slowly, as the image of the view outside the astronomy club’s hangout is refreshed in her mind, the way the physics building rooftop is just high enough to provide a good view of the rest of the campus below, the city downtown, just at the right place on campus that at night, the rest of the sprawling town’s streetlights trickle out like golden LED veins through the threes—an idea begins to implant itself into her head.

Taking root immediately.

She likes to go up here to think. She really shouldn’t have had permission to go up there on her own, in her free time, since they have rules about club hours and the likes, but Isaac is a close friend and gave her a spare key, so she can come and go as she pleases. And sure, the Grove is a nice, quiet place for book clubs and maybe doing homework if one doesn’t need an electric socket, but up here in the astronomy club’s “the Rooftop”, she feels like she can float away into the vast ocean of her thoughts and get lost in them for a moment.

She feels small up there. And that’s a good feeling.

She won’t tell it to Isaac’s face but it’s one of the primary reasons why she applied for the astronomy club in the first place. The stars are great no matter how dumb she is at physics, but the view—it’s really something else.

What does the world look like from the point of view of a star? How tiny are human lives in the vast expanse of the universe? How long have these stars been out there, how long will they stay out there, how much longer will they stay in this universe more than we will?

…This is why Theo teases her for being a literature major: all these goddamn metaphors.

And for a split second, she thinks…

Maybe it isn’t that bad to share that same quiet space with him?

…You know, to talk books.

“About that…”

Isaac and Dazai turn to her.

“Mind if I sneak in an outsider to the Roof?” she asks, facing Isaac with genuine hope in her voice.

Isaac only shrugs. “Do as you please,” he says casually, taking a cookie from her little box on the table.

And she grins like he’d just given her the light of the world. “Thank you, Isaac.”

Dazai shakes his head, because he knows she’s got no denying herself out of this one the next time.

[kn1feinthec0ffee]

in too deep (part 5) - jules

jules x reader

TW: drugging

warnings: beating, homophobia, threat of death, i think that’s pretty much it??

notes: ooooohhh we’re getting closer to the end! not that i’m excited for this to end, but i’m just excited for you guys to see it

i really hope that me putting homophobia in this story doesn’t make you guys think i’m homophobic bc that’s the farthest thing from true. since i changed the gender of the mickey stand-in, i felt like it might be more interesting to add another dynamic into the story so it wasn’t just a word for word copy of the original except with a girl, bc that seems really one-dimensional to me. i feel like i need to put one of those things they have in movie credits like “the views in this film in no way reflect the views of the studio that produced it” kinda thing

also i think this may be my favorite part that i’ve written, bc if you didn’t notice, i’ve never left the reader’s perspective during the whole thing, so i had to improv a bit during the parts of the movie we didn’t get to see with mickey, and maybe i’m just a lil proud of myself :’)

******************************

for the first time since you came up with your brilliant plan to siphon the gas, you actually felt a glimmer of hope. jules was smart, she’d surely find a way out of the house; and she was damn loyal, too, so you knew there was no chance she’d leave you behind. 

sadly all those hopes were dashed when you heard the basement door creak open again. 

fuck, this whole plan was dependent on the fact that no one else came downstairs! your hands clammed up, your heart rate quickening as footsteps descended the stairs, stopping dead in their tracks once they reached the bottom. 

  “where the hell’d that little bitch go?” george roared, scanning every nook and cranny in the basement to see if jules was hiding anywhere. “answer me!”

you stayed silent, more out of fear than some sort of strategy. you quickly realized this was the wrong decision as george viciously backhanded you across the face. your head whipped to the side, eyes blinking back into focus from the impact. you felt something sticky on your lips and realized it was blood. 

  “you’re so angry,” you groaned. “why? just ‘cause you’re shooting blanks?” you pouted in mock sympathy. this sudden boost of confidence seemed to be a mistake as you saw george’s expression shift into a dangerously content one. 

  “i’m gonna rip your fuckin’ heart out.” your face dropped as he spoke. “i understand you not wantin’ to tell me where she is. in fact, if i were in your position i suppose i’d do the same. but god almighty i’m gonna watch ya’ die. i’m gonna hurt ya’.”

you were stunned into silence but you decided saying something, anything, would be better than nothing. “she’s gone, man. you just need to give it up.”

this seemed to strike a nerve in him. he turned towards you again and delivered another swift slap, knocking the wind out of you. he smacked you again, the back of your head knocking into the pole and causing your consciousness to fade for a moment. 

  “you think i’m full of hot air, don’t you? only good on roughin’ you up?” he asked rhetorically. “you know i worked as a door-to-door salesman for a few years? learned a lot, but the most important thing i learned was how to read people. and at the end of the day, you’re just an open book, sweetheart.”

the name sounded like poison dripping from his lips. it made you sick, that name belonged to jules. 

  “i know your type, believe you me, i’ve seen quite a few in my time. you see, you like to think you’re tough, strong, resilient, but at the end of the day, you just value her life above yours.” he laughed to himself. “am i right?”

he chuckled again when you didn’t answer. “that’s alright, you don’t have to answer, i know i’m right. well, you people are more loyal than i thought. guess i gotta give credit where credit’s due.”

  “fuck you.” you spat. “don’t fucking talk about her like that.” he stood up again, this time grabbing something from a shelf before making his way back to you. 

  “alright, no more pussyfootin’ around, time to get down to business.” he revealed the knife, positioning it under your ear as he prepared to slice it off. 

  “sheisn’tgoingtothecops!” you breathed out quickly, hoping he’d let you keep both ears with the statement. 

  “what? what’d you say?” he seemed caught of guard by the sudden admission, backing off of you. 

  “not yet, anyway.” you took a moment to catch your breath. “i told her to wait. yeah, we got a little meet up spot. now if i don’t show up there in an hour or so, then yeah, cops galore. you’re fucked, buddy. but, if i do show up, we just continue on our way like none of this happened.”

you took another shaky breath before you continued. “if we’re being honest here, i don’t want the cops involved any more than you do. y’know, the whole ‘not gainfully employed’ thing? the cops aren’t a huge fan of that one.”

george seemed to take this into consideration, nodding quietly to himself. “what about sweetiepie?”

  “her? i don’t give a fuck about her, she’s the whole reason i’m in this mess.” you winked at her, hoping she’d understand the message. 

george snapped the blade shut, producing the key from to the cuffs from his jacket pocket. 

------------------------------

  “any last words for this son of a bitch?” george asked gloria as he trained the pistol on you.

  “oh, i do wish you’d handled things differently. we could’ve had somethin’ beautiful here.” she smiled sadly, mourning what could’ve been. 

  “i’ll see you in hell,” george mumbled as he opened the door for you. you stepped into the doorway, only to stop dead in your tracks when you heard your girlfriend’s voice. shit.

  “stop, don’t kill her!” jules shouted from the top of the steps, baby doll in hand. “i will smash it!” she held it over the railing, dangling precariously above the hardwood flooring beneath. 

  “whew, that was close.” george laughed, closing the door behind you. “unhand my baby!” gloria whined. 

  “alright, missy, calm down. no one’s gonna get hurt.” he kept the gun aimed at your head, but gloria quickly pried it out of his hands and took a shot at jules. she crouched to shield herself from the bullet that thankfully missed, but in doing so let go of the baby that plummeted to the floor, shattering into hundreds of pieces. 

  “get your ass down here or i’ll blow her brains out!” george shouted gruffly as jules descended the staircase. she ran to you, hugging you close and helping you to stand on your injured leg. 

gloria rushed out of the room, bloody pieces of ceramic in hand as george turned back to you. “look what you gone and did. what did i do to deserve you two?”

------------------------------

  “cooking’s a zen art for my dear gloria. i’ve found there’s a method to it: the more upset she is, the bigger the dish it takes to pull her out.” george explained. “needless to say, i think the two of you just summoned up a banquet.”

the two of you had been crudely duct-taped to some chairs in the dining room, forced to listen to the stuffy dialogue between the husband and wife. “why? why do you keep her down there?” jules asked. 

  “it’s not what you think.” he looked over his shoulder to make sure she wasn’t listening. “my gloria, she’s always wanted a child. unfortunately, the good lord did not have that in his plans for us. so, i had to take matters into my own hands.”

  “oh, so you kidnapped her.” jules stated bluntly. george glared at her, but continued his explanation. 

  “as you get older, things get... complicated, and i swear to god i had no ill intentions. i just wanted to make my wife happy.” he smiled. “and she was for a bit, until she started to remind her of what she couldn’t have. she asked me to make her go away, but i couldn’t bring myself do that, so the basement is our compromise.” 

  “dinner is served!” gloria announced, wheeling in a cart full of dishes of shepherd’s pie. she placed one on everyone’s plate before she sat down. they quickly said grace before digging into their food. 

  “so are you guys gonna kill us or...? what’s the deal?” jules asked matter-of-factly. you wanted to nudge her shoulder and ask her what in the hell made her so bold, but you didn’t want to cause a scene. 

  “george, you didn’t tell them?” gloria asked confusedly. “i wanted to make ‘em squirm a bit,” he smirked. 

  “t-tell us what?” you cursed yourself for stuttering but you couldn’t help it, it came out when you were anxious. 

  “we’re not gonna kill you.” george mumbled, almost sounding disappointed. “i said we’re not gonna kill ‘ya, what are you deaf?” you stifled a grin at jules, not wanting to change their decision to set you free. “we’ve decided that, despite your piss-poor behavior, the logistics of it just don’t make no sense for us.”

  “sooner or later someone’s gonna come lookin’ for you two. now, i can hide a body like the easter bunny hides an egg, but the two of you have been sweatin’, spittin’, and pissin’ all over this place.” he paused to take a sip of his drink. “anywho, i’m bound to miss a spot. i figure we have a better chance of hitting the road. we’ll give it 48 hours, tip off the police, they’ll come by and pick ya’ up. i reckon you’ll do some time for whatever the hell you two did, but at least you’ll still be drawing breath. so congratulations, you should be thankful. you just won the damn lottery.”

jules spared a glance at you as if to say, what now? “take your time eatin’ you got another couple days in those chairs.” george muttered as he took another bite of his meal. 

screw it, you thought. we’re hungry and going to jail in the next two days, what harm could a nice meal do? you both picked up your forks and knives and tucked in to the plate in front of you. you nearly let out a moan in satisfaction as the food hit your tongue. you scooped up more greedily as you had no clue if and when the next time you’d get fed would be. 

  “wait,” jules swallowed the food in her mouth. “what’s gonna happen to her?” gloria glanced over to george, waiting for the answer to the question as well.

  “well, i’m sure they’ll put her some place nice. these orphanages, i hear they’re like five-star resorts.” george answered. 

  “does that upset you?” gloria turned to jules, a smile of mock empathy on her face. “anything’s better than down there.” jules mumbled. 

  “you got a heart of gold, jules. is your full name julia?” jules nodded in response. “my mother’s name was julia. she had a good heart, too, you remind me of her.”

  “she died of cancer when i was real little. it was a slow, painful process, but i was with her every step of the way!” she grinned as her husband blew her a kiss. “the day before she died, she told me to look in the closet, that i’d find a special surprise for me in there. it was a package, wrapped up nice and pretty, with a tiny card with my name on it. she insisted i opened it, so i wiped away my tears, tore open the paper and there it was. a doll.” 

everything stilled. every sound, the scraping of cutlery on the plate, the sound of everyone breathing, even the breeze blowing through the window decided this was a nice time to take a break. 

  “she said it was a magic doll,” she continued. “that no matter how sad i became, and believe me, i became very sad, i’d always have him with me. my ethan.”

your gut instincts finally kicked in as you spat out the food that was in your mouth, the gross pile of chewed up beef and potatoes looking oddly blurry to you. jules looked equally as mortified, probably even more since she was the one who brought about the end of the magic doll. 

  “and she was right; he was magical. and you took him away from me.” she grinned her creepy stepford wife grin once more. jules mumbled something but everything sounded miles away from you as your head swam. 

  “wha-what is this?” you slurred, the bright colors of the table morphing into one another. 

  “this is a drug overdose, y/n.” he chuckled when you sluggishly turned your head towards him. “i know, i know, i fibbed about lettin’ you live, but see, you had a veritable pharmacy in that bag of yours. you two just munched down enough pills to put a bull to bed,” his voice muffled into indiscernible nonsense, though you knew he was still speaking. 

  “f-fuck you,” jules managed, still keeping her head up. you, on the other hand, were slumped over, teetering on the edge of unconsciousness. 

george got up from his seat, pulling your head up by your hair. “not so tough now, are ya’?” he jested. 

jules muttered something in your defense, but as soon as your head dropped, you were down for the count; just missing the hopeful ring of the doorbell, possibly signaling you might live to see another day. 

******************************

i should probably put a link to previous parts at the top but i have no clue how to do that lol

tags: @emmyrosee​ @flowers-in-your-hayr​ @willyourecognisemee​ @bill-skarsgard-owns-my-ass​

[okskz]

Delete.

Mia + Chan

chan yelling at mia for the very first time over something she did.

I’ve missed writing angst so here y’all go, it gets fluffy tho bc lets be honest chan has a major soft spot for mia. anyways, requests are open still but only for a bit so send whatever in, and your feedback is appreciated!

[10th Member of Stray Kids]

“Hi, Channie.” Mia said, opening the door to the studio room.

Chan turned around in his chair when hearing Mia, mouth turning into a smile. “Hey baby, what are you doing here?”

“Thought you might need some company.” She shrugged, sitting herself down on his lap. His left arm insanity snaked around her waist. “And I wanted to get away from the boys.”

Chan chuckled. “Are they being loud?”

“Yes.” Mia groaned, rolling her eyes. “But anyways, what are you up to?” She said wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Just working on some music.”

“Ah, I’m witnessing Channie in his natural habitat then.” She giggled.

“Why yes, yes you are.” He laughed back.

“And since you’re here, I guess I can show you a few things I’ve been working on.”

Mia mentally squealed as she got off Chan’s lap to grab a chair, and sat next to him. “I feel honored, show me what you got.”

The boy smiled at how excited Mia sounded for wanting to listen to some of his produced tracks.

“Ok so, here’s the first one I want you to listen to.” He said, typing on his laptop.

A beat began to play through the laptop. Chan turned his head a little, wanting to see Mia’s reaction. For some reason, he got a little nervous for a second. He wanted Mia to really like it.

He felt a relief go through him when he saw Mia smiling then began to bop her head to the beat.

She looked over at him with a smile on her face. “I like this a lot.” Mia said. “You did this?”

Before Chan could say something, Mia was already speaking over him. “Of course you did, why am I even asking you that. Wow, Chan, this is really good.”

“I’m happy you like it, ready for the next one?”

Mia happyily nodded her head. “Yes, please play it.”

Another beat began to play, this time it had a slower sound to it. Mia could still bop her head to it, loving the r&b vibe to the track.

“Oh I definitely love this one.” She said softly.

“It’s one of my favorites.” Chan said. “Here, I’ll show you one more.”

Chan tapped away on his laptop, pressing play to his final track to show Mia. The beat was this time more into the hip-hop side. “Now this one is really really good.” She smiled.

Chan looked at Mia in awe, seeing how much she was enjoying his music. “You like it?”

“I love it.” She said clinging onto his arm.

“Thank you, this means a lot.” He said, kissing her forehead softly. Mia smiled, resting her head on his shoulder.

“How much longer are you going to be here?”

“I’m not sure yet, I still have to finish this one track then I’ll be done for the night.”

“Well then I guess I’m gonna stay here until you finish.” She smiled at him.

“Perfect, it was getting a little boring here.” He chuckled.

As Chan continued to work on producing a new beat, Mia had rested her legs on Chan’s lap going through her phone. From time to time, Chan would ask Mia how the sound was and if she liked it.

He was pretty glad that she was there to give out any opinions about it.

“Should I add this to it?” Chan said adding a different sound to his current beat.

Mia listened closely, the sound not being her cup of tea. “No.” She said slowly. “It makes the beat a little extra.”

“Maybe you should do this.” She said taking the laptop from Chan.

He was quick to grab his laptop back from her. “Do you even know what you’re doing?”

“Of course I do.” She said hesitantly. “I always see Jisung and Changbin produce songs. How hard can it be?”

She grabbed the laptop back from Chan, looking back at him then the laptop. Even she knew she didn’t know what she was doing, but she wanted to prove Chan wrong.

The boy watched her intensely as her fingers kept ghosting over the buttons.

“Stop staring at me, you’re making me nervous.”

“I’m just trying to see if you know what you’re doing.” He chuckled. “Clearly you don’t.”

Mia glared at him. “Don’t underestimate me, Christopher.”

“All you gotta do is this.” Mia said as she jokingly began to push on different buttons on his laptop.

As Mia kept pushing away, laughing, Chan was freaking out. “Mia, don’t do that!” He exclaimed as he tried to take the laptop away again.

One last push of a button Mia did, and she ended up pushing the delete button. Making the song Chan was working on vanish. Her eyes grew wide as she began to panic, looking over at Chan who looked completely devastated.

“Chan, I’m so sorry-“

“Are you serious, Mia?!” Chan yelled, causing the girl to flinch. “Did you not listen when I told you not to do that?”

“I have been working on that track for about a month and right when I was almost finished, you deleted it!”

“I didn’t mean to!” She cried out, not liking the way Chan was speaking to her. Of course she felt bad knowing he’s been working on it for a long time, but Chan was never one to yell at her.

Scolding her was one thing, but him yelling at her was something Mia thought she’d never experienced.

“I even told you, you didn’t know what you were doing.” He said harshly. “God, I was so stupid in letting you get ahold of my laptop.”

By that time, Mia began to cry. Over guilt and over the fact that Chan practically hated her at that moment.

He looked at her broken face, almost feeling bad for making her cry.

“I’m really sorry, Chan.” She sobbed. “I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

Chan stayed silent, not wanting to speak to Mia, knowing he would end up exploding more than he has already on her. Even though he was pissed at her, he could never be mad at her.

Noticing that Chan wasn’t going to say anything, Mia slowly got up from her chair to leave. “I’ll get going, see you when you get home.” She said in a low voice as she sniffled.

When Mia was about to turn and leave, Chan got ahold of her left wrist. “Don’t go.” He said, sitting her back down on the chair.

“Yes, I’m a little annoyed at you for doing that.” He began. “But for some reason, I can’t hate you.”

Mia chuckled a little as she sobbed. “I’m sorry.” She said once more.

Chan sighed out in frustration. “I know you are. God, I hate that I can’t stay mad at you.” He said letting out a small laugh. “And I’m sorry for lashing out on you.”

“It’s fine, I deserved it. I play around too much and this time I went too far.”

“You for sure did.” He said looking at her. His lips turned into a small smile. “Come here.”

Mia got up from her chair when seeing Chan do the same. He engulfed her into a hug, her head buried into his chest. “You know I love you right?” He whispered.

“Yes.” Mia replied, looking up at him. “And I love you more.” She smiled.

“Good.” He said closing his laptop. He moved his arms to Mia’s waist, bringing her up for him to carry her out the studio room.

“Now lets go home.”

[houser-of-stories]

FFF - Hollow Walls

I didn’t get a chance to post this until now but here’s my piece for @flashfictionfridayofficial Flash Fiction Friday!

[23:12, Outside the Abandoned Hospital. You know, the one next to the derelict ballet studio. No, the other derelict studio. That’s the one.]

“Hey people, today marks the anniversary of...nothing. I don’t know why I started off the livestream that way, let me try again. Buckle up, we’re going ghost hunting. Oh look, the live chats booting up- wow Ethan there's no need to be rude - this is 100% haunted; there have been sightings! Oh shush, I can and will kick you off of this livestream. Yes, that’s possible! Yes, I know how to do it! Have a little faith, why don’t you? Anyway, we’re at...at...I cannot read that sign because of all the graffiti and the fact that half of it’s you know, decimated. But we’re at this abandoned hospital, where it has been rumoured that the ghosts of long-dead patients walk the halls. For god’s sake Ethan, let me be a little dramatic. I’ve got all my equipment and I’m going in.”

[23:24, Reception]

“So as you all may have noticed, I didn’t expect the entrances to actually be boarded up. My nail polish is chipped now. Shush Ethan, no one asked for your opinion. This took me ages and the fact that I’m not as prepared as I thought I was has nothing to do with it! But I’m inside now. As you can see, a large majority of the furniture was scrapped, but I think I can see something that looks like a computer over there. Let’s go check it out. Huh. That’s weird. This shouldn’t be working if it’s not even plugged into the wall…”

[23:30, Reception]

“Cleaning rota…repairs...patient log! This has probably slipped into extremely illegal now, but who cares? What can we find here...James Morin, dead. Aeroplane crash? Ouch. I don’t know if the camera’s picking this up but extensive surgery failed to make a difference and the time of death was 16:21. Maybe we’ll hear his ghost floating around. Who’s next? Well let’s see what we got. Harley Andrews, dead. Cause? Tuberculosis. Time of death, 7:58. Laurie Eason, discharged. Well, that’s a first.”

[23:34, Corridor]

“Did...did any of you hear that? There it is again. No Ethan, I’m not going crazy. It’s like a tapping noise...I think it’s coming from the walls.”

[23:40, Zone B3]

“I heard it as I went up the stairs, but I don’t think I can hear it now- wait. There it is again! Perhaps it’s the ghosts from the patient log. Morse code? Wow, that was the first helpful thing you’ve said Ethan. I’ve got a notepad here, as well as a pencil. Let’s see…”

[23:43, Zone B3]

“Dot, dash, dot, dot, pause. Dot, pause. Dot, dash, pause. Dot, dot, dot, dash, pause. Dot, pause. Long pause. Dash, dot, pause. Dash, dash, dash, pause. Dot, dash, dash, pause. What does that mean? Live chat, what do you all think? Leave...leave now. I can hear it again! It’s the same as before. Leave. Now.”

[23:50, Zone B5]

“That crash made me start running and now we’re by the operating theatre. I think I’m going to try one of your suggestions. Hollow walls. The ghosts are trapped in the walls. Which now that I say it out loud, sounds ridiculous. But I came here to break the law and so let’s break it some more. Ah. Might have put a bit too much force into that...never mind. That is weird. Is the light decent enough for you guys to see this? Aside from the gaping hole caused by me, it’s just black. Definitely hollow though, you can see where the wall connects at the top. Could a person fit in there? What do you guys think- tapping. Forget it, I want to know what caused this.”

[23:56, Zone B5]

EthanTheGhost: uhhh y has the camera turned off

BlueCookiesRedCookies: No idea. Should we be concerned?

AmyPond3673: Nah it’s just part of the livestream right?

EthanTheGhost: idk do u think its bc of the ghost tapping

[00:01, Zone B5...presumably]

BlueCookiesRedCookies: Was it strange that we couldn’t hear the tapping?

AmyPond3673: Yh like the sounds always been rlly good on the livestreams.

EthanTheGhost: im gonna call her

[00:06, Who Knows Where?]

“You have 6 missed calls from: Ethan.”

“You have 7 missed calls from: Ethan.”

“You have 8 missed calls from: Ethan?”

“Playing missed calls. Call 1:”

“Rachel? What happened, are you-”

“All missed calls deleted.”

[stfuisaac]

hello hello it’s lucky again and,, sadly,, we don’t have the technology that makes the thoughts we have just.... appear onto our screens yet... so this took a hot sec and still isn’t perfect bc i don’t plan on proofreading :\ but! here,, is,, my new,, drummer boy,, parumpumpumpum

‹ avan jogia, he/him, cis man, bisexual. › ISAAC BAROT is the TWENTY-SEVEN year old from SAN JOSE, CALIFORNIA. when a friend asked them what they thought of the manor they said,  ❝ I HEARD THIS IS WHERE THEY DECIDED TO MAKE THE TWILIGHT ZONE. ❞ they claim GET OUT is their favorite scary movie, and if they were to die in a horror film they would BE OBLIVIOUS TO THERE EVEN BEING A KILLER UNTIL IT’S TOO LATE. their fears include MANNEQUINS, HITCH-HIKERS and DYING WITH NOTHING TO SHOW, and they don’t know we know, but… HE GOT INTO A (MUTUALLY) NEAR FATAL ALTERCATION WITH A STRANGER HE GAVE A RIDE TO (YES, HE WAS AN UBER DRIVER - HIS GREATEST SHAME). hope they enjoy their stay. ‹ PLATANCHOR requested by JOAKIM from STRESSED OUT penned by, LUCKY, 20, EST. ›

QUICK FACTS:

full name: isaac benjamin barot

date of birth: september 12, 1992

*does not perfectly reflect the below Big Three zodiac chart because that’s so much math

zodiac big three: virgo sun, taurus moon, libra rising

gender & pronouns: cis man & he/him

sexual orientation: bisexual

occupation: session drummer + lyft driver + ex-uber driver

mbti: entp

enneagram: 5w6

the song i listen to on repeat while i write the intro: “deja vu” - roger waters

BACKGROUND INFO:

alright. so.

isaac's backstory is neither tragic nor easy. his father was an immigrant who married his mother solely to get a green card (y’all, to be fair... the citizenship tests are whack). there wasn’t any real romance between the two, but the drop-ins always said otherwise. no, outside of putting on a show for government officials, isaac’s father and mother were friends at the best of times.

the best of times culminated in a son who grew up in an interesting dynamic. his father and mother never even attempted to be anything more than friends (with, as you can see, the occasional benefits). after the check-ins finally stopped, his father and mother even began sleeping in different rooms. his mother would trade in her queen for a double and replace the space his father used to take up with his cradle.

it was nothing like the ‘unhappy marriage’ trope, though... again, because they barely ever pretended to be married. they would take their wedding rings off when they went out with friends. sometimes they would even take off their rings around each other and talk the other up to someone attractive.

so it was unorthodox, but it was much better than his parents pretending to be in love in that way and giving him a skewed version of what romance should look like.

one down-side to it, though, was that isaac never knew who he was supposed to go to for what. usually it’s just a given that “if you need/want x, go to the matriarch, if you need/want y, go to the patriarch” but... what happens... when your parents are basically just your friends?

so thank god for growing up in the age of technology. like,, ya,, a literal baby can’t google things like “how to say ‘mom’” but a 15y/o can google “how to shave”

so... ya... his parents were his friends, the internet was his parent(s?).

one thing the internet couldn’t do? give him drums. it could introduce him to the likes of ringo starr, john bonham, keith moon, and ginger baker, but it couldn’t give him drums... not when he was only, like... 10, at least.

so he put a set on his christmas wishlist and figured they would divide amongst themselves.

so ya, his 10th christmas, he got a shitty little rockwood hohner kit that he would use for the next nine years.

he never received any professional training. again, he didn’t know who to ask and... youtube wouldn’t exist for another three years. he tried to teach himself using a few books and, if nothing else, figured out a few simple beats and how to gain independence.

after learning those simple little beats and not knowing if he wanted to buy the next book, he decided to take a break and, instead of going back to professional books, he’d just listen to some of his favorite tracks... most of which were ginger baker... which made things kind of hard when he only had one bass drum, two tom-toms, and one floor tom. those, plus the really low quality pearl cymbals. still, he did his best to make it work.

just a side-note that, because of videos of ginger, isaac used (and still uses, out of habit) a mix of traditional and matched grip.

he went back and forth between the books and mimicking the patterns of other drummers (mostly ginger) up until he was around 16 and his friend, ribs (y’all), decided to teach him a few more technical skills. what you want to learn for this song are polyrhythms, but those are hard and no, ginger isn’t using a crash there, he’s using a splash and do you want a discount on some better cymbals and drumheads from my parents’s music shop because this is a very functional kit but it kind of sounds whack

he continued using the same whack kit, but replaced the heads with aquarians, as per ribs’s recommendation (but evans and remo are also good) and, after literally examining baker’s kit, replaced the cymbals with various zildjian collections

even though we stan istanbul agop in this house.

he also started listening to more drummers than... pretty much just baker with a hint of john bonham, keith moon, and ringo starr. as his friend suggested, he tried out drummers like buddy rich, art blakey, travis barker, dave grohl, karen carpenter, neil peart, nick mason, simon phillips –– even was told to listen to ac/dc songs just to see how a successful band could be made using essentially the same beat over and over and over.

so now he had some split time. school. work. practice. figure out who the hell was making dinner that night/if there was someone making dinner last night because they might both be talking each other up.

although he applied to various colleges, and although some of these colleges actually accepted him, he ultimately decided not to go. instead, he moved from san jose to los angeles in the hopes that he’d find something bigger than himself... and a new drum set...

he found the latter in a ludwig kit with two bass drums, two tom-toms, and two floor toms. then he just added a bunch of stuff and tried to make it like ginger baker’s. pretty much spent all of his money on it and then some.

when his friends formed a band and found success, he was very very happy for them... but... he found himself stuck... driving ubers.

and lyfts!

he’d seen the twilight zone before. he loved that show. he’d seen the episode ‘the hitch-hiker,’ so he was really driving for the companies against his better judgment. 

his worst uber story? the time a guy got into the car, had pinged a location that was still marked as a store on the uber gps but had recently been torn down, and tried to attack him when they got there :\ he 110% fought back, though. was fired because the other guy was the one who made it out injured.

only drove for lyft after that :\

he did take on a few projects, but he... proved to be too much of a roger waters for people who just wanted to chill and have fun. there would be adverts for people who wanted to form a band and he’d be like “hell yeah! finally! a band!” then he’d get pissed that they advertised it so seriously but really... just wanted to jam. did not have any plans to try to do anything with it.

the few projects he did join that involved people who wanted to actually achieve success... if they were slacking, you best bet his inner roger waters came out! which is why he never stuck around in any projects for too long!

but ‘projects’ and ‘jam sessions’ were totally different. you want to do ‘wipeout’ in a project? he’s gonna take that intro that literally everyone on the planet knows SERIOUSLY. you want to do ‘wipeout’ in a jam session? LET’S HAVE SOME FUN WITH IT.

he does some session/studio drumming for other artists to make some extra money while doing something he genuinely enjoys... but... still... it is no project™

in between things right now, he got a call from joakim that, while muffled and staticky, sounded like it said ‘get here, please’ and clearly stated where he was.

of course, voicemail lines were crossed and many many many essential words were left out – words that were basically saying the exact opposite ahfsdkjl. the shadow’s really playin them :\

so here he is, in all his glory.

TL;DR:

i was gonna kms if i didn’t play another drummer, so this is my ginger baker fanboy whose parents were literally just best friends and, as a result, were also both his friend. the internet raised him. started playing drums when he was 10 on a low qual kit with low qual cymbals that his parents got him for christmas, but literally why would you get a beginning a good set? continued playing. eventually moved to los angeles and tried to form many successful projects, but was too much of a roger waters. was summoned up here by the shadow man fucking around joakim. his greatest shame is how many ubers he has driven.

PERSONALITY INFO:

he will always say his proudest moment was when he learned how to play ‘toad’ by ginger baker cream all the way through.

big ginger baker fanboy.

loves the twilight zone and will just spill a random fact out about it every now and again.

a lowkey control freak which completely goes against the way he dresses and the vibe he gives off. 

is only a dick about it if you’re part of one of his ‘projects’ but aren’t taking it seriously tho :\

ok i’m too tired 2 write a personality section rn when im already rly bad at them but!! again!! feel free 2 j refer to the zodiac big three + the personality types!!

FEARS:

mannequins: they’re already creepy enough when you really think about it, then you add in that episode of the twilight zone where the characters wake up in an unfamiliar house and go outside and basically everyone is just a mannequin? ya he hates mannequins.

hitch-hikers: so, as we have just seen, he’s had it bad enough with people who were registered to an app, paying, their personal information readily available, etc., etc... so then what would happen if it was just a complete and utter stranger who didn’t have any personal information, any ping, and was the sole focus of a different twilight zone episode? he... is going... to drive past you. he’ll feel bad about it, but...

dying with nothing to show: here’s the money shot! here’s the deep fear! as has been shown throughout, isaac craves success and some form of a legacy. if he dies with nothing to show for his life, then was his life ever worth it in general?

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

ok,,, it might be bc im tired rn,,, but i have the most basic list that will hopefully be updated tomorrow bc it is SO VERY BASIC:

friends

fwb

ons

exes

enemies (much easier to get on his bad side than it is w/ fluke)

BRAINSTORMING AND/OR SOMETHING FROM YOUR WANTED CONNECTIONS AND/OR WHATEVER YOU HAVE AN IDEA FOR!!!!

[soflsms]

   ( sorry  I'm  late  to  the  party  im  in  pst  so  i  was  at  work  til  now  sdkfjl )  ANYWHO  hi  pals  what  the  h*ck  is  up  !!  im  chloe  ,  im  21  ,  i  use  she / her  pronouns  &  im  a  broke  a$$  geography  major  !!   i  am  SO  excited  to  be  her  &  get  to  rp  with  all  y’all  bc  judging  by  your  apps  skdflj  i  fuck  with  u  all  .  anywho  ill  stop  my  rambling  ,  below  the  readmore  is  stuff  about  sofie  &  some  wcs !!  

trigger  warning  !!  sex  work  ,  deportation  ,  neglect  ,  bad  writing  ,  alcoholism  &  substance  abuse

HAILEY BALDWIN  /  SHE/HER  /  TWENTY TWO  /  BILLIE EILISH VC

welcome to los angeles , sofie almeda ! the glitterati has been watching you . rumour has it you made your first mark in the industry two years ago & that your net worth currently stands at  8m . it seems as though you’re enjoying being a  singer since relocating from  harlem , new york city . some might say you’d be a good fit for the glitterati due to your hollywood ranking being a solid  #3, & it helps that fans speak so highly of your  individualistic & assiduous ways . unfortunately , our sources cite that those closest to you aren’t particularly impressed with your  self-destructive & choleric tendencies .

stats

name  :   sofie sydney almeda

nicknames  :   sof

age  :  twenty - two  .

birthday  :  december  eleventh  .

zodiac  :  sagittarius  .

gender  :  cisfemale  (  though  doesn’t  vibe  with  the  idea  of  being  STRICTLY  a  WoMaN  ,  she  finds  labels  restrictive  )  .

pronouns  :  she    &    her  .

height  :  5 ′ 6 ″  .

hometown  :    recife  ,  brazil  &  harlem  ,  new  york  city  .

nationality  :  american  ,  brazilian  .

ethnicity  :  english  ,  portuguese   .

label(s)  :  the  venereal  ,  the  bellwether  ,  the  opulent  ,   the  anaxiphile   .

occupation  :  singer  (  vc  billie  eilish  )  .  

quirks  :  fidgeting  ,  allergic  to  shellfish  ,  walks  quickly  ,  cracks  knuckles  ,  always  wears  her  lucky  ‘  st  christopher  ’  necklace  from  her  grandmother  ,  has  a  weird  ability  to  talk  herself  out  of  trouble  ,  can  tie  a  cherry  stem  in  her  mouth  ,  messy  emotionally  but  on - point  physically  ,  vvv  bad  driver  ,  loves  a  good  theme  party  ,  can’t  get  through  the  day  without  multiple  cups  of  coffee  ,  refuses  to  wear  glasses  in  public  even  though  she’s  quite  far - sighted  ,  always  carries  hand  sanitizer ,  prefers  rain  over  sunshine  .

background

         her  mother  ,  marcia  almeda  ,  was  a  recent  graduate  from  secondary  school  who  packed  a  backpack  and  went  traveling !! before  long  tho  she  ended  up  knocked  up  by  another  backpacker  ,  this  one  american  ,  while  they  were  having  a  fling  in  sydney  (  hence  sofie’s  middle  name  lmao  @  her  mom’s  humor  )  .  she  flew  back  home  when  she  found  out  &  never  told  sofie’s  father  oops !! so  marcia  had  sofie  at  home  in  recife  just  before  her  nineteenth  birthday  ,  and  marcia  was  enthralled  w  little  sofie  .  ofc  she  inherited  her  mother’s  beauty  (  i  hc  marcia  looks  like  alessandra  ambrosio  bc  hello !  )  &  little  sofie  lived  a  happy  early  childhood  life  in  her  grandparents’  home  in  recife.

         brazil  isn’t  the  safest  of  countries  &  marcia  didn’t  want  the  same  dangers  she  experienced  growing  up  for  her  young  daughter  ,  so  around  sofie’s  eighth  birthday  ,  her  &  her  mother  packed  up  and  went  on  a  ‘ trip  ’  to  new  york  city  .  joke’s  on  sofie  ,  though  -  it  wasn’t  actually  a  trip  ,  but  rly  they  were  trying  to  move  there  to  find  sofie’s  father  to  confirm  his  paternity  and  get  sofie  american  citizenship  .  it  was  proving  more  difficult  than  she  thought  ,  &  marcia  was  quickly  running  out  of  money  .  with  a  face  like  hers  ,  though  ,  making  money  wasn’t  too  difficult  ,  but  it  was  time  consuming  .  marcia  found  herself  escorting  older  men  in  order  to  pay  the  bills  ,  all  the  while  leaving  little  sofie  to  fend  for  herself  .  some  of  her  earliest  memories  are  of  strange  men  in  their  tiny  apartment  &  sofie  trying  to  block  out  their  conversations  with  her  lil  cassette  player  hiding  in  the  corner  of  her  room  .  eventually  ,  marcia  was  able  to  contact  the  father  &  they  set  up  a  meeting  .  sofie  had  gotten  her  hopes  up  that  she  would  finally  have  a  dad  (  she  got  dressed  up  in  her  sunday  best  &  everything  bc  reuniting  her  dad  was  a  BIG  deal  ) ,  but  the  meeting  ended  up  being  a  quick  exchange  of  words  ,  a  mouth  swab  and  a  couple  signatures  .  sofie  never  even  learned  his  name  ,  & this  queued  up  a  lifetime  of  daddy  issues  &  distrust  of  men  !!

        while  marcia  was  able  to  stay  in  america  much  longer  than  she  was  legally  supposed  to  ,  eventually  she  was  facing  deportation  ,  which  meant  lil  sofie  ,  with  her  citizenship  finally  confirmed  ,  was  put  into  the  hands  of  her  father  who  sent  off  to  an  american  boarding  school  in  new  york  without  even  contacting  her  .  she  would  spend  the  summers  in  brazil  with  her  mother  or  ,  as  she  got  older  ,  couch - surfing  with  different  friends  throughout  the  months  .  she  started  growing  apart  from  her  mother  as  she  aged  since  she  wasn’t  going  home  every  summer  since  she  didn’t  rly  feel  any  connection  to  brazil  .  her  grandfather  had  passed  away  &  she  only  has  faint  memories  grandmother  ,  plus  the  city  wasn’t  at  all  familiar  to  her  &  she  wasn’t  practicing  her  portuguese  after  her  mother  returned  to  brazil  .

         through  it  all  ,  music  was  proving  to  be  the  one  constant  in  her  life  she  could  use  to  escape  from  reality  .  she  had  never  done  any  training  or  classes  ,  but  she  just  liked  singing  along  to  whatever  was  on  the  radio  & practicing  on  her  own  .  she  also  found  a  passion  for  writing  poetry  which  she  later  would  realize  was  compatible  with  music  .  she  would  spend  HOURS  in  the  school  library  working  on  garage  band  lmfao  bc  she  couldn’t  afford  her  own  laptop  to  produce  music  &  her  dad  sent  just  enough  money  as  he  was  legally  supposed  to  .  but  she  worked  her  lil  tushy  off  &  applied  to  a  music  academy  in  nyc  &  was  rejected  the  first  year  (  DEVASTATING  when  mixed  with  her  impostor  syndrome  &  daddy  issues ) but  she  practiced  more  &  more  &  edned  up  getting  accepted  the  next  year  .  here  ,  she  worked  on  her  vocal  skills  &  music  production  ,  &  started  accumulating  her  own  music  &  selling  songs  to  music  producers  on  the  side  for  some  ca$h  money  .  

          by  the  time  she  was  16  the  state  decided  she  was  old  /  mature  enough  to  live  on  her  own  so  she  got  a  TINY  lil  studio  apartment  in  harlem  where  she’d  grown  up  with  her  mum  &  she  had  friends  who  she’d  grown  up  with  .  while  it  wasn’t  the  safest  neighbourhood  statistically  sofie  felt  safe  &  just  like  one  of  the  neighbourhood  kids  .  it  was  the  first  time  she  genuinely  felt  like  she  belonged .

        she  was  accepted  on  full  scholarship  to  nyu  & majored  in  music  composition  &  vocal  performance  where  she  started  finally  feeling  secure  in  herself  &  released  her  own  music  on  soundcloud  ,  quickly  amassing  a  following  &  becoming  an  ‘ up  &  coming ‘  artist  !!  she  was  contacted  by  a  scooter  braun  type  guy  who  was  interested  in  taking  her  on  under  his  management  so  she  dropped  out  of  uni  in  her  2nd  year  (  bc  tbh  her  grades  in  anything  other  than  her  music  classes  were  v  subpar  )  .  soon  enough  producers  wanted  to  work  with  her  &  she  was  making  enough  that  she  didn’t  have  to  sell  her  songs  which  she  hated  doing  but  had  to  pay  the  bills  u  know  .  oh  &  her  vc  is  billie  eilish  bc  ofc  shes  my  queen  go  stream  when  we  all  fall  asleep  where  do  we  go  on  spotify  u  won’t  be  disappointed  

        she  also  started  getting  into  the  partying  scene  here  yikes  !! it  was  a  method  for  her  to  numb  all  her  pain  from  her  past  &  impostor  syndrome  &  drown  all  that  out  in  pills  or  tequila  .  it  rly  wasn’t  healthy  bc  of  how  she  would  binge  for  a  weekend  then  try  to  stay  sober  throughout  the  week  but  failing  by  about  wednesday when  she  started  to  feel  hollow  .  she  wasn’t  gonna  be  a  one  hit  wonder  &  her  mom  sure   as  hell  didn’t  go  through  all  that  trouble  just  for  sofie  to  be  a  nobody  addict  !! so  she  kept  it  together  enough  to  start  making big  bucks  & well  …….  here  she  is  :~)

personality

        sofie  blames  it  on  her  brazilian  heritage  but  this  bitch  loves  a  party  !!  like  shes  the  one  who  gets  happy drunk  at  the  pre  then  is  the  first  on  the  dance  floor  then  later  falls  out  of  the  club  &  into  some  rando’s  bed !!  in  the  back  of  her  mind  she  knows  her  drug  &  alcohol  use  is  self - destructive  but  she  figures  shes  allowed  to  let  loose  sometimes (  even  if  that  ends  up  being  most  nights  )  ;  rly  she’s  just  in  denial  bc  she  doesn’t  want  to  change  her  ways  &  lose  her  identity  !!

        doesn’t  put  labels  on  her  gender  identity  or  sexual orientation  .  she  finds  them  restrictive  &  useless  for  herself  ,  labels  would  only  be  to  satisfy  others  .  she  doesn’t  see  herself  as  110%  female  either  like  she’s  all about  gender  being  a  social  construct  /  a  spectrum  ;  some  days  she’ll  get  dolled  up  &  wear  heavy  makeup  &  six  inch  heels  ,  some  days  she’ll  walk  around  in  a  bun  &  tracksuit  &  trainers  .  anyone  who  asks  abt  it  will  swiftly  get  2  middle  fingers  in  their  face  !! shes  uncontrollable  i  swear

         puts  up  a  tough  bad - ass  front  like  billie  does aksjdh  like  nah  nothing  can  hurt  me  im  bulletproof  !!  but  is  rly  just  kinda  broken  underneath  .  she  doesn’t  even  let  her  closest  friends  know  how  hurting  she  is  bc  she  doesn’t  wanna  burden  them  .  she  rly  uses  mmusic  as  an  outlet  tho  so  she’ll  act  totally  tough  then   go  to  the  studio  &  record  all  about  her  heartache  .  will  NEVER  let  someone  see  her  cry  no  matter  how  close  she  is  with  them  .  she  rly  sees  it  as  a  sign  of  weakness  &  shes  in  a  much  better  place  than  she  was  5  years  ago  so  she  figures  she’s  not  ALLOWED  to  feel  anything  but  grateful  .  

         this  bitch  overthinks  everything  !! half  the  time  she  isn’t  rly  listenning  to  whoever  bc  she’s  thinking  about  what  they  just  said  &  if  they’re  mad  with  her  .  she’s  that  friend  who  will  ask  u  to  come  over  to  formulate  the  perfect  text  response  &   fuss  over  it  for  hours  .  that  being  said  ,  if  someone  talks  shit  abt  anyone  shes  tight  with  ,  they’re  gonna  get  it  the  next  time   she  sees  them  .  she  isn’t  about  violence  &  would  never  get  into  a  physical  fight  ,  but  she’d  work  behind  the  scenes  to  ruin  their  life  .  but  then  she  pretends  like  she  rly  doesn’t  care  though  its  obvious  to  those  close  to  her  that  she  cares  way  too  much

has  a  very  hard  time  expressing  love  bc  she  didn’t  have  much  practice  w  it  growing  up  .  she  was  on  her  own  most  of  her  young  life  so  even  if  her  mom  would  tell  her   te  amo  she  would  be  like  uh  huh  gtg  bye !!  

tldr ;  poor  bitch  w  abandonment  issues  who  was  able  to  get  out  of  it  by  channeling  her  energy  into  music  &  numbing  the  stress  with  pills  or  alcohol  which  she  def  still overuses  but  she  doesn’t  think its  a  problem  !! yikeroony  !!  loves  partying  & having  a  good  time  ,  puts  up  a  tough  front  but  is  rly  soft  underneath  .

wanted (* = mw)

friends  from  high  school  !! -  people  sof  stayed  with  in  the  summer  bc  she  wasn’t  going  home  to  brazil  .  

friends  from  music  school  !!  -  she  def  felt  like  an  outsider  among  the  music  prodigies  at  this  school  ,  &  maybe  this  person  was  one  of  the  ppl  she  actually  connected  with  . 

come  out  &  play  !!  this  person  acts  as  a  good  influence  to  sofie  .  they’re  level - headed  &  very  grounding  ,  &  sofie  doesn’t  let  it  show  but  they’re  really  important  to  her  .  this  is  the  Softest  billie  song  (  prob  bc  it  was  for  an  ad skdj )  &  they  inspired  it  bc  it’s  how  she  feels  when  shes with  them  .  they  encourage  her  to  be  all  that  she  can  be  &  they  believe  in  her  ,  &  they’re  prob  the  one  person  sofie  trusts  the  most  which  is  SAYING  something  !!

*exes  on  bad  terms  !!  -   ok  this  would  basically  be  based  on  all  the  songs  billie  has  about  a  failed  relationship  /  heartbreak  !! shes  got  a  bunch  .  im  thnking  maybe  she  was  actually  rly  into  them  but  had  a  hard  time  expressing  it  bc  she’s never  been  good  with  emotional  expression  ,  &  it  led  to  the  relationship  feeling ?? unfaithful  /  disconnected  ??  idk  but  she  rly  loved  them  &  is  still  nursing  that  heartbreak  .  (  x  ,  x  ,  x  )

the  paris  to  her  nicole  !!  -  ok  i  f*cking  hate  that  i  said  this  but  she’s  nicole  richie  its  true  !! she  needs  a  messy  gal  pal  exactly  like  how  paris  &  nicole  are  i  stan  them  (  x  ,  x  ,  x  )

roommate  !!  -  bc  of  her  abandonment  issues  she  rly  doesn’t  like  living  alone  so  prob  is  the  roomie  who  will  sleep  in  their  bed  from  time  to  time  bc  she  doesn’t  like  being  totally  alone  .  

*when  the  party’s  over  !!  - these  two have  been  hooking  up  for  a  while  no  strings  attached  but  recently  feelings  have  been  caught  !! &  now  they  still  hook  up  quite  often  but  sofie’s  kinda  harboring  feelings &  pretending  all  is  well  but  she  rly  hopes  they’ll  just  stay  the  night  from  time  to  time  ,  &  gets  secretly  heartbroken  when  she  sees  them  flirting  or  leaving  with  someone  else  . they  can  also  have  feelings  if  u  want  that  angst :~)

fwb  !!  -  sofie  is  pretty  transparent  when  it  comes  to  what  she  wants  &  she’s  got  a  bad  habit  of  replacing  dealing  with  problems  with  getting  laid  !! like  u  know  in  movies  when  the  man  opens  his  wallet  and  a  row  of  like  20  pictures  of  different  women  fall  out  ??  that’s  sof’s  aesthetic  .  she’s  got  a  bunch  of  fwb  of  all  genders  so  bring  me  some  pls

***mutual  dislike  /  copycat  !!  self - explanatory  ,  sofie  thinks  this  person  is  copying  her  in  everything  she  does  &  thinks  its  annoying  af  so  she  wrote  a  song  abt  it  &  hopes  they  indirectly  get  the  message  even  if  she  drops  not  so  subtle  hints  .  skfldjh  itd  be  messy  pls !!

party  buddies  !!  -  someone  who  encourages  sofies  wild  ways  .  when  the  two  get  together  its  usually  to  get  drunk  or  high  &  thats  the  way  they  like  it  .  sofie  doesn’t  feel  judged  by  them  as  she  does  by  others  who  don’t  get  obliterated  at  every  social  event  (  what  an  idea  !!  )  so  she  rly  values  them  ,  even  if  she  doesn’t  express  it

 ** 8 !! - someone  who  kinda  reluctantly  got  into  a  relationship  with  sofie  out  of  maybe  a  desire  to  save  her  from  herself  ??  like  u  know  that  good  girl  bad  boy  trope  where  the  girl  tries  to  save  the  boy  from  whatever  he’s  struggling  with  ?  that’s  them  but  the  roles  are  just  reversed  -  good  guy  ,  bad  girl  .  it  was  kinda  just  filled  w  her  being  self - destructive  &  confiding  in  him  but  not  rly  reciprocating  the  care  so  he  became  kinda  distant  bc  of  it  .  tbh  she  prob  knew  he  was  too  good  for  her  but  had  a sliver  of  hope  he  wouldn’t  leave  her  even  tho  eventually  she  became  too  much  for  him  .  (  lyrics : you said, "don't treat me badly", but you said it so sadly, so I did the best I could, not thinkin' you would have left me gladly. i know you're not sorry, why should you be? 'cause who am I to be in love, when your love never is for me?” )

good influence  !! this  person  can  tell  that  her  beahvior  is  unhealthy  &  are  trying  to  gently  nudge  her  abt  it  .  she  can  tell  what  they’re  doing  but  her  addict  brain  is  telling  her  its  invasive  &  threatening  so  shes  not  the  fondest  of  this  person  ,  but  deep  down  she  really  appreciates  them

music buddies !! these  two  are  both  in  the  music  industry  &  rather  than  it  being  competitive  ,  they’ve  developed  a  friendship  from  it  & enjoy  working  together  .  

* someone  sofie  ghostwrites  for  !! for  whatever  reason  ,  this  muse  doesn’t  write  their  own  songs  & instead  pays  sofie  to  write  them  for  them  .  she  doesn’t  love  it  but  its  a  way  to  make  money  &  give  away  songs  she  doesn’t  feel  attached  to  but  are  worth  something  .  maybe  its  tense  bc  they  claim  the  songs  as  their  own  &  sofie  doesn’t  like  it  ,  this  could  be  ~escandolo~  later  !!

*** my boy ( high school bf ) !! - ok  tea  this  song  is  the  one  that  broke  her  into  the  industry  .  she  produced  it  all  herself  &  just  relased  it  to  her  soundcloud  thinking  it  wouldn’t  rly  go  anyway  but  !!  joke’s  on  yung sofie  .  essentially  he  thought  the  relationship  was  going  well  ,  she’d  met  his  family  &  they  rly  liked  her  but  !! sof  was  feeling  kinda  smothered  &  told  herself  he  was  lying &  cheating  on  her  n  shit  so  she  wrote  a  song  about  it  !! &  once  it  was  starting  to  get  attention  he  was  like  ….. uhhh  what  the  fuck  & she  was  like  haha  sorry  !! so  they  broke  up  &  ever  since  its  been  animosity ,  but  she  realizes  she  fucked  up  but  it  launched  her  career  so  she  doesn’t  know  whether  to  keep  up  the  idgaf  i  hurt  you  or  apologize  .  

* ex - friends  !!  ok  pls  i  have  this  hc  where  sofie  got  way  too  high  one  night  &  slept  with  this  person’s  dad  or  sibling  or  smth !!  u  know  that  line  in  ‘ bad guy ’  where  she  goes  ‘ might  seduce  your  dad  type  ? ’  ya  that’s  got  sofie  written  ALL  over  it  !!   &  now  they’re  not  friends  bc  sofie  can’t  keep  it  in  her  pants  but  both  sides  kinda  misses  the  other  but  are  too  stubborn  to  say  anything  :~(

exes from college / high school  !!  - ok honestly i just love all the exes plots . gimme someone who like maybe they were hooking up & decided to give it a shot dating & it worked for a while but ultimately fell apart bc of sof’s inability to open up. maybe theres still tension or maybe theyre friends now !!

* lovely  !!  -  i  need  a  male  voice  for  khalid’s  part  in  lovely  bc  i  need  this  song  in  my  life  bc  its  a  whole  ass   sofie  mood  ok  .  

i’ve  also  got  a  wanted  connections  tag  linked  HERE  dksfj there's  not  much  in  it  yet  but  feel  free  to  check  it  out  .  ok  i  love  y'all  

[blushy-monkey-blog]

Hello! I was wondering if you could do a Brian x Reader where the reader is in an abusive relationship and she starts showing up to recordings with bruises and cut lips etc. and Brian finally goes over to her flat and finds out what’s been going on and saves her? And maybe it can end with some Brian smut cause like, Brian May is 💦💦💦💦💦

A/N: Okay so I’ve been thinking for a long time about this ask bc I don’t know if it might trigger some people, but at the same time maybe it would help as a way to cope? I wrote a self harming reader one shot with Bri awhile back (as someone who has been suicidal in the past I can definitely say that type of fic has helped me in the past) So I decided to write this, but the whole thing is below the cut just in case. Please don’t read it if you think it’ll trigger you or be unhealthy for you to read, I really only mean this as something that might help people. If I’m wrong to write this, please let me know and I’ll just take it down. 

Here’s a link to a list of worldwide domestic abuse hotlines. Please reach out and get the help you need, and know that I’m here for anyone who might need a friend to talk to. ~Hanna

Warnings: Physical + Mental abuse, a little bit of smut at the end (? I guess)

“Alright, Y/N?” Brian asked, snapping you out of your trance. 

“Hm? Oh, yeah, sorry. Just lost in thought I guess.” You said, forcing a smile. You’d been working as a PR assistant for Queen for 6 months, and loved your job more than anything, even though you knew it made your boyfriend mad that you spent so much of your time around the four guys in the band. Getting to sit in on recordings was just a perk of the job.  

“What did you think of the new song, darling?” Freddie asked you, and you were glad for the distraction. Brian’s attention turned to Fred.

“It was so beautiful, Freddie.” You praised.

“Don’t you think I sound like shit?” He asked flatly.

You shook your head. “No, but maybe you should re-record so you like how you sound.”

Behind him, Roger groaned. “Way to go, Y/N! We’ll be in the studio all day at this rate.”

That didn’t sound too bad to you, but you’d never tell the band why.  

“Alright, let’s go again.” Deacy said, trying to move things forward.

Brian was looking through a stack of papers. “Hang on, I’ve got a new idea for the guitar solo,” He said, frowning. “I know I wrote down the chords somewhere..” A second later, the papers toppled to the floor, going flying across the room. “Fuck!” Brian said, voice raised.

Your stomach clenched at the sudden volume and anger in his tone, but you quickly bent down to help him pick up the loose papers. The sleeve of your sweater rode up, revealing a handprint bruise across your forearm. This didn’t go unnoticed by Brian, who began to reach out toward you. “Jesus, Y/N, how’d that happen?” He asked quietly. 

You pulled your arm out of reach before he could even touch you and stood up abruptly, pulling your sleeve back down before he could get a better look. “It’s nothing,” You lied. “Got a little too close to the train door the other day, you know.”

He frowned at you, opening his mouth to say something else, but just then Freddie had called his name, and he retreated back into the studio.  You let out a shaky breath.

_______________________

A week later, Freddie was the one to confront you when you showed up with a split lip. “Darling, what’s happened?” He asked, studying your face.

You waved him off. “I was trying to pull clothes out of the wash and my hand slipped and I smacked myself. It’s nothing Fred, really.”

You didn’t notice Brian watching the whole exchange from across the room. He didn’t say anything to you all day, which was unusual for your friend, but you were too preoccupied with other worries to let it bother you.

_______________________

The next day, you called in sick. Brian was the one to answer the phone in the recording studio. “Hey, I’m really sorry, but I can’t be there today,” You said, voice wavering. “I’m- I’m sick.”

“Y/N,” He called into the phone before you could hang up. “Y/N, wait. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Bri. I’m just sick.” You said quietly.

“Can I bring you anything?” He asked. “Soup, something to drink…” He trailed off.

“No.” You said quickly. “No, there’s really no need. I’m sure I’ll be back to normal in a few days, don’t worry about it, okay?”

“Okay,” He said uncertainly.

“Bri I gotta go, okay? Just- tell the boys I’m sorry I can’t be there, alright? Please?”

“Alright.” He echoed.

_______________________

“I’m worried about Y/N.” Brian said. He’d pulled Freddie off to the side, and they spoke in low voices.

“I know.” Freddie nodded. “I am too.”

“She sounded so… Frantic when I offered to bring something over, it wasn’t like her.”

Freddie was quiet for a minute, then said, “I know it goes against what she said to do, but do you think.. Maybe we should go check on her?”

Brian nodded. “I’ll go. Maybe it should just be me, I don’t want to overwhelm her, you know?”

Freddie nodded. “Okay.”

_______________________

The flat was quiet after your boyfriend went to work, leaving you to cradle your face against an ice pack, hoping to minimize the black eye that was already forming. You didn’t know how long you’d be able to avoid the boy’s questions, especially with an injury so visible.

You’d just sat down when the buzzer by the front door went off, indicating someone was trying to get into your building. You sucked in a breath, walking over to use the intercom by the door. “Yes?” you asked.

A second later, Brian’s voice piped into your empty flat. “Y/N, it’s me. Look, I know you told me not to come, but I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. I’m worried about you.”

Your heart twisted. “Brian, please go away, I don’t want to get you sick!.” you said over the intercom.

“YN. Y/N, please.” 

Your heart was starting to race. You didn’t answer, and he didn’t say anything else, so you turned the intercom off.

A few minutes later, there was a persistent knock at the door. Your stomach tightened. “Y/N!” Brian shouted through the door. “Someone let me in the building, all you have to do is open the door! Please?”

Your hands were shaking as you unlocked the door, letting it swing open. Your gaze dropped to the floor, trying to conceal the bruise below your eye.

“YN, your face,” Brian said, his voice full of emotion. You couldn’t move as he put his hand below your chin, lifting your face up until you looked at him. “Did he do this to you?”  You couldn’t help the tear that fell down your cheek. Brian wiped it away. “Y/N? Did he?” Brian asked again when you didn’t answer.

You gave a shaky nod, more tears welling up in your eyes.

“And your arm the other week? And the lip, right?”

You nodded again, unable to say anything. “Bastard. I’ll kill him.” He said under his breath, but when he noticed that you’d started to cry even more, his focus turned back to you.  “Come here.” He said, pulling you into a gentle hug, letting you cry into his chest. “Come here, I’ve got you.” His hands were reassuring against your back.  After a few moments passed, he asked “Where are your clothes?”

“What?” You sniffed, not understanding.

“Where are your clothes?” He repeated patiently. “We’re gonna get you out of here, okay? You can stay with me as long as you need.”

You showed him to the bedroom and he guided you to sit on the bed as he haphazardly threw your clothes into a suitcase.

_______________________

You’d been to Brian’s flat many times before, but this time was different.  He’d tucked you into his bed, telling you he’d be sleeping on the couch if you needed anything.

“Bri?” You said quietly as he turned to leave the room.

“Mmm-hmm?” He answered.

You bit your lip, hesitating. “Don’t leave just yet, okay?” You lifted the covers, gesturing that you wanted him to be in bed next to you.

“You sure?” He asked softly.

You nodded, and he climbed into bed, lying on his side so you were face to face. You hadn’t really meant to, but found yourself inching closer to him, until your lips connected. For a moment, you thought you’d made a mistake, but then Brian’s hand reached up to cup your chin, pulling your face closer to his, his mouth moving against yours.

A second later he pulled back, watching you carefully. “Y/N, are you sure this is a good idea? Don’t get me wrong, I’ve wanted to do that for ages, but I don’t want to take things too fast.”

You smiled at him, reaching over to run your thumb over his bottom lip. “I’m sure.” You said, and he leaned back in to kiss you again, his hands moving to trail up your sides. You winced as he unknowingly passed a hand over a bruise on your ribs.

He pulled away, looking nervous. “I’m sorry, are you okay?”

You nodded. “Just more bruises.” You whispered, suddenly embarrassed.

“Can I see?” He asked carefully.

You nodded, sitting up so he could pull your shirt over your head. “Oh, love.” He said, voice full of aching for you.  There were bruises all over your chest, down across your ribs. He could see the start of a handprint shaped bruise on your hip, mostly covered by your pajama pants.

Brian trailed his hand softly over every bruise on your skin, careful not to hurt you.

You didn’t say anything, just watched his gentle fingers. It had been so long since someone had touched you so gently.

He pressed a kiss against a particularly nasty deep purple mark, whispering against your skin, “You’re safe now. You’re safe with me.”

[mcreavs-blog]

hey loves, my name is elizabeth. i’m 19, cst. you probably gathered that already but i figured i’d repeat it to refresh y’all’s memories. here’s a little bit about baby effie, and obviously some about me and the connections i’ve gathered so far! i’m gonna be on here while i’m working on my stats hw and studying, so i might not be super quick to respond but i promise you i’ll get to it — please, slide thru in those dms

first of all, look at my little BB !!

okay so i’m gonna start out w the basics about me — i’m elizabeth, again. i’m pretty easy to get along w, i’m a gemini (don’t h8 me okay). i’m gonna be a bit busy for the next couple weeks bc it’s finals in like 7 days, so i’ll try my hardest to be as active as possible but school always comes first ! i will definitely make it on here daily, but until the 14th it might not be too much time per day. anyways, aside from my disclaimer, i’m a psych student and i can read ur mind 🙃

next up, and way more important than what my major is, let’s hear abt effie

okay so, she’s not ur typical rich bitch. she’s actually pretty humble aside from her lavish lifestyle that she’s kinda forced to live. she moved to conyer’s farm 13 years ago when her family wanted their children to have a more normal home and life away from the commotion.

her momma was like a big big fashion model, like nyfw and paris fw type shit. she was on like every magazine cover more times than you could count on your two hands. 

her dad was a rockstar in the 90′s, he was blowwwwin’ up. but, his career kinda took a fall when he was dropped from his band due to drug and alcohol abuse —like he just couldn’t keep up w the schedule the way he was acting. he and her mother stayed married until he passed away — effie found him ejected from his car in front of their house, he crashed into the brick wall on the gate surrounding their home and wasn’t wearing a seatbelt basically. i’d say that was the most traumatic event of her life, happened at about like 19 yrs old.

let’s lighten up the mood a bit — she’s an artist. studio art major at NYU. she likes to paint really abstract shit, like not shit you can really understand. she thinks a lot, so she kinda just lets the mess of her mind out on canvas. because of this outlet, she’s actually got a pretty chill exterior and you’d never really know that she was like such this anxiety-ball type girl (but like, all her close friends and family know she is so not chill, she’s just rly good at hiding her feelings).

she’s v easy to get along w, doesn’t really pick fights unless she genuinely thinks you’re a bad person and deserve bad karma (which doesn’t happen often)

yes, she smokes and she drinks, but only in moderation since her father u know

some little facts about her —

she’s fascinated by nature (flowers, trees, grass, animals, specks of dust, you n a m e it and she loves it) she’s a little bitch for skittles don’t be fooled by her genuine, kind heart - those who do not deserve it will not get to feel the good feeling she gives people she loves cars ((( i mean her dad was a rockstar, he got her into them ))) she’s a lil fashion nut, her mother wouldn’t ever let her leave the house in something that was last season so that kinda rubbed off on her she lives for concerts, like quite literally, she might die if she doesn’t go to at least one a month she considers herself straight, but she’s never had much chance to explore since different sexualities other than being straight weren’t really spoken about in her family, and let’s just say there’s potential for her to learn some new things about herself.

there’s much much more, but that’s the gist of it

okay so some connections i think would work well w her:

childhood friend. — this is kinda an obvious one but i think she’s just so sweet, she would never become distant w her childhood friend. so basically, this is someone who maybe even knew her before she moved there, or they met one of the first days she did. they clicked on maybe their love for fashion, similar family dynamics, or artistic ability (obviously, this can be developed further). they continued to find things they loved together, and they’re basically still inseparable.

university companion. — no one likes to go to classes alone, even gen eds. effie definitely loves the presence of company, so i can’t really see her walking around campus at her lonesome. if any other characters go to NYU, this would be a good plot to explore, and could be a good way to develop some background behind their connection. they could car pool, go to parties together, get coffee on campus together, bond over their fame or money getting in the way of making friends on campus.

first love. — i can imagine that effie probably isn’t over her first love. i mean, her heart is just so big. she’s probably had people since her first love, but nothing is more pure than your first right? she probably holds onto that feeling, whether or not it’s possible for them to work together again. your character could handle this with any type of feelings, maybe they hurt her or she hurt them too bad for it to be possible for them to love her still, maybe they don’t know how she feels but feel the same way, whatever works. just think this could stirrr the pot. (i would imagine this role to be a cis male though, since she hasn’t had chances to explore her sexuality yet).

mixed feelings. — i can imagine this plot as someone who has been infatuated with effie for quite some time. effie probably catches some type of vibe, but i imagine that they’re such close friends that they’re both scared to say something about it. there’s probably a chance effie feels something too, i’m guessing they just really have good chemistry and have easy conversation so there’s just a natural attraction there. i think this would be a fun plot, because it could be dragged out or it could blow up in their faces. (i would love for this role to be like a cis female or even a nonbinary, just because it would make sense why they wouldn’t tell her bc maybe she doesn’t know whats going on in her head and they might not know that she isn’t straight and she’s just closeted and yeah).

classic enemies. — like i said, i think it’d be very hard for effie to have an enemy. i imagine this person just genuinely doesn’t like how bubbly or easy-going effie is. this plot would probably work with someone who is more of a nihilist, and annoyed with people who try to be as positive as she does. so i’m guessing their feud probably started like that, and as effie kinda caught the vibe that they were petty towards her, she decided to start acting the same back. and now its just like, this snowball effect, where they both refuse to talk it out because they both are forever irritated with each other. (i think this plot could be developed a different way depending on which muse wants it, so just hmu and we can work it out). 

[firebirdsdaughter]

Some other things...

... About Zi-O 13...

Which are going below bc it’s only been out one day.

(this will still be comparatively short)

We should start every episode like this from now on, I love these three so much. How many times can I say that?

Takeru kidnapping his kouhai is hilarious. Also sweetie, I’m sorry I never finished your show. I’ll get to it, I promise.

Also it’s really cute that they got those two other priest boys back. Too bad Onari was busy!

Geiz and Sougo continue to fail at not being in sync. Also I just really love you two this episode already, and I still can’t understand what you’re saying.

Also Geiz giving Sougo the Ghost Watch. Given that they established that there’s only general boundaries for who ‘owns’ which Watch, and that they can both use them no matter what, I figured there was gonna be switching around. I really hoping there’s a fight one day where it’s just everyone who can use the same Watches tossing them around like hot potatoes.

Oh yeah, I guess Woz is hanging out w/ the Time Jackers for now. I guess. Shrug emoji.

I super respect cop brother here. You’re super awesome, man. Honestly, Geiz, Sougo, don’t get worried about the ‘he’ll die’ thing, though. Like, yes, it’s sad, he’s a good guy and she’ll lose her brother, but... He died three years ago; and he made the choice to do that. He could have accepted the power and survived, but he choose to do it himself and be hit instead. So it’s really heartbreaking, yes, but he’s already dead, but he willingly sacrificed himself and I think he’d prefer not being reanimated as a  monster.

Tsukasa here bringing slander to Agito’s name (never mind my own shame where I misidentified him as Kuuga I’m sorry okay yes I am the only one still stuck on that). Also his suit actor here is really good. I mean. They’re all really good. But I love the casual way he’s moving and just calmly pushing Another Ghost out of the way.

Also how far away is the KR set from the Jinga set? Is he changing while walking? Does he need new makeup? When does he put the wig on?

Also I wonder what the rest of the Decade crew is up to? Just deciding to watch from afar, I guess.

Takeru looking at the Ghost Armour like ‘that looks freakishly familiar wtf?’

Takeru doing... I actually don't know exactly how to refer to it, I don’t know enough about religion et al. in Japan to correctly identify it if it’s identifiable...  Anyway, it was cool! Nice save there, man.

Takeru can see ghosts bc he is one. Was one. Is on in another life. Was one in another life. Whatever. Or maybe it’s just bc he has training at the temple? Or bc he was the one who did the thing before? I guess when he was a ghost he was capable of being visible to others, and even when he’s not a Rider, he’s still sensitive to the spirit world.

Geiz and Tsukuyomi both worrying over apparently-dead Sougo was adorable. You three are doomed for friendship. Sorry.

(Also I’m pretty sure Takeru referred to Geiz as ‘you’re a friend of Tokiwa Sougo’s’ earlier and Geiz didn’t contradict him? At least, not as aggressively as usual. Seemed more like he was like ‘how do you know Sougo?’)

Also, Geiz calling Sougo by his name one day is either gonna be really dramatic or really casual. Like, some big shit goes down or something or other and then at the end, he’s just like ‘Hey Sougo, we’re leaving, dumbass!’ and acts like there’s nothing different at all. Otherwise it’ll be a dramatic moment, whether it be heartwarming, heartbreaking, or something else.

Tsukasa calling Another Ghost off Takeru, like ‘uh, excuse me, that's a kouhai I actually kinda know.’

(my presumption is that he somehow knows something will require Sougo to be ‘ghostified’ or has some plan that involves it. we all know he’s up to something it’s Tsukasa. besides since he’s already got the Decade Ridewatch, something happened in his past--even though he can still transform... also why is this in all lower case?)

Also, speaking of Geiz, which I am always willing to do, this ep’s outfit was actually fairly okay again. I mean, it’s, like, gym-wear, bc he always wears gym-wear. But it’s... Normal gym-wear? Like, sweatpants and sweatshirt. And this time they even match! I guess my boy just really like to be comfortable and I really have to respect that. I, too, am more comfortable in lounge wear. I am also getting used to the collar, but I would still love to see him take it off.

In the meantime, Takeru and his leather pants and floral print really stand out, god love ya, hun.

... Why did I just realise Sougo’s pants are, like... A shade off from purple?

Also, is Takeru going to explain to Geiz and Tsukuyomi that Sougo’s not dead, or is he just gonna let them worry? I get dramatic episode ending, but hopefully they tell them next ep. Save Geiz the awkwardness of having to pretend he’s not at least slightly worried for too long.

Okay, Okuno is really cute. I wanna pinch his cheeks and give him a hug. And also feed him, bc this kid is so damn scrawny it’s making me concerned.

I was wondering where Tsukasa got the cruise ship and the perpetual sunset, then I remembered he lives in a photography studio w/ a portal in the back.

Preview-wise: I hope they did tell the other two he’s not really dead. Let’s not make this more painful for the kids than it already is (also still pretty sure one day Sougo might try to tell the other two to kill him and they won’t be able to do it ^^). Also, someone (I presume Swartz) is mocking someone (I presume Geiz) about ‘saving’ the overlord, and the summary says Geiz goes back to defeat Another Ghost to save Sougo, so... Yeah, someone’s a little more friendly than he means to be (Tsukuyomi probably leaned on him a bit, admittedly, but we’re still getting somewhere). Tsukasa and Woz is gonna be a hilarious interaction. Oh, and we’ll be seeing, it seems not only the Ghost suit again, but also the SPECTRE SUIT! Oh, yeah, and: MAKOTO! ^^ XD

So, short compared to some of my other thought dumps. I love Geiz, I love this trio... This was a good time. Excited to see Makoto next week, curious what leg bastard is up to, nice seeing Takeru again...

Alright. Virtual Milky Ways for anyone who read this far (for those of you who don’t know that’s a chocolate candy w/ caramel and nougat) and... Popcorn for people who don’t like the sound of that? and if you don’t like popcorn... I’m sorry, if I tried to figure out ways to account for every possible variation in taste I’d never get to bed and I have the early shift tomorrow.

Thing I almost for got to add--have a poor-quality shocked Takeru for your trouble:

[possibilistfanfiction]

a shelter from oblivion (we will be in history)

[so this is a new years gift for @turnandchasethewind​ bc i shes my best pal but also bc we are sluts for teen vogue & the new 21 under 21 issue is SO LIT so heres some ridiculous fun queer fluff for u: 

lexa & clarke are both activists featured in 21 under 21. they might fall in love a little.]

//

a shelter from oblivion (we will be in history)

.

queers are intimately familiar with the costs of being queer—that, as much as anything, makes us queer. the question really is not whether feelings such as grief, regret, and despair have a place in transformative politics; nor is it how to cultivate hope in the face of despair. rather, the question that faces us is how to make a future enough that even the most reluctant among us might want to live there.

—heather love, feeling backward: loss and the politics of queer history

//

you know a lot about lexa woods: a queer, trans activist who argued legislature when she was 15, started a non profit for lgbtq+ youth and legal aid in brooklyn when she was 16, spoke at the women’s march in new york, is now 19 and a sophomore at harvard studying political science and queer theory. also, notably—because you admire her and also because, honestly, she’s hot as hell—has walked the past two fashion weeks in both paris and new york and is the new face of mac. 

so, whatever. you know a lot.

you’d expected her to be intense, which she is, and professional, which she definitely is, letting like five people in front of her in line at craft services during your shoot and sitting down for her interview after literally shutting off her iphone, smiling gently, and leaning forward like those next twenty minutes were the most important of her life.

what you hadn’t expected, though, is how she’s funny, and kind of silly, even, and actually honest to god giggled at a stupid joke you made when you were talking to her after you finished your interview. 

and now, now, you’re at some vegan diner in the middle of east williamsburg, because she’d started talking to you about your art and you’d talked to her about how you always want to be more inclusive—both in your subjects and what your art is conversing with itself—and then she was grabbing your coats and leading you to the L train. she’s sneaking a little whiskey into your milkshakes with the sexiest, cutest wink you’ve ever seen, and, just.

‘i’m sure you get this all the time,’ you say, trying to let the milkshake cool you the fuck down, because your cheeks are burning, ‘but you’re the prettiest girl i have ever met.’

her smile is small, bashful, radiant, and you want to see it for your entire life, you think, in that moment. which is dramatic and young but whatever. she’s beautiful.

‘i don’t, actually,’ she says, and it’s full of a little sadness and the sort of bitterness—in a different way, but not too dissimilar—also know.

‘well,’ you say, ‘that’s dumb. because like—’ you gesture at her, and she looks down, blushing, ‘wow.’

‘i’ve thought similarly of you,’ she says, ‘since i saw some of your art two years ago.’

your heart pounds at the confession but before you can say anything, or reach under the booth and grab her hand, your server comes by with the bill, flushed cheeks and stammering at lexa, or maybe at the two of you, who knows. that’d be cool.

you climb out of the booth and it’s cute, the way lexa methodically pulls on her scarf, then her jacket, a little beanie, gloves, before she heads to the door. you think distantly that your mom would admire that kind of precision, that carefulness, and then you have to reel that in because, really, meeting your mom? 

lexa smiles at you, turns a little in the chill under the streetlamp. ‘i’m afraid i have to go back to boston tonight.’

‘that’s cool,’ you say, ‘i have class tomorrow too.’

she nods, seemingly hesitant, and you think she might kiss you, which would be so fucking awesome, but then she shrugs. ‘i would love to work with you, if you wanted? i always need more designers and artists for events for my non profit, and i can commission you.’

you smile, and it’s gentle, because she’s nervous and swallowing a lot and her eyes are really green, and maybe she’s not nearly as put-together as she seems. ‘that’d be cool as fuck,’ you say, and she grins with a laugh, then nods.

‘you can take the L all the way back to your school,’ she says, and it’s sweet and not condescending at all.

‘i know, you say, elbow her good naturedly when she blushes. ‘i come down to bushwick a lot.’

‘right,’ she says, almost to herself. ‘artist.’

‘and the parties.’

there’s silence—like she doesn’t quite know what to say, or even how to say anything, but then she nods and says, ‘my ride is here,’ and points to a black town car. 

‘it was nice to finally meet you, clarke griffin,’ she says, offers her hand very formally.

you shake it with a roll of your eyes—but you don’t want to invade her space without asking or anything. ‘it was nice to finally meet you too, lexa woods.’

she smiles with a single nod of her head and turns to walk toward her car. 

‘wait,’ you say, jog a few steps. 

she looks surprised, embarrassed, a little turned on, and you hand her your phone.

‘i need your number,’ you say, ‘if we’re gonna work together.’

‘of course,’ she says, and types it into your phone with thin, agile fingers and jesus fucking christ your mind thinks of some Things quickly. you have to swallow when she hands it back to you. 

‘i’ll text you.’

‘goodnight, clarke,’ she says, walking to her car with a little wave.

one thing’s for sure: you know a lot of things about lexa woods, but you sure want to know more.

//

clarke griffin has had art in the MoMA and the tate, and in so many galleries you voluntarily lost track. she goes to the new school, has worked alongside multiple sexual assault support organizations, and primarily focuses on the female form—in all its varieties—and consent. she paints, sculpts, photographs.

she’s exquisite, you think, and undoubtedly brilliant, and then you’d met her and everything you’d accomplished in your life somehow seemed very small when her eyes were so blue and she was talking so openly about art, and her own work, and how she wants to be more inclusive and contemplative. 

she, also, has been texting you for 12 days, which has been really great other than the fact your heart almost leaps out of your fucking chest each time you get a message, which is a lot because clarke is somehow able to produce incredible art at almost a superhuman rate and also text you back about the most random, mundane shit, like how dirty manhattan snow is, and her dad’s mild obsession with still trying to take her to the batting cages—she complains but she loves it, you can tell. 

you wait a few days before mentioning that you’re going to be in the city over the weekend; you think modeling is not really where you should be devoting your time but anya insists that it’s making a difference and you get it, representation matters and all that, but you don’t want to do casting calls because you’re tired and have a 12 page paper on willa cather due tuesday, but whatever. it’s fun and you get the prettiest clothes you’ve ever seen and people fawn over your hair. you can handle a weekend.

when you tell clarke—finally, the wednesday before you head down on a friday—she’s casual and relaxed when she responds, asks you if you want to come by her studio if you have time on saturday night because there’s some friends coming for drinks and stuff. you have to snag anya from the library and talk it over first, not because you’re hesitant but because you’re nervous, but anya rolls her eyes and slings her arm over your shoulder and tells you to be safe and come back with details.

you go about your casting calls—some of which are really awesome, some of which are not, but nothing horrendous—before you’re outside the address clarke gave you, some huge building in bushwick with industrial doors and gigantic windows. you want to laugh because, of course, bushwick, but you do the breathing techniques you’ve practiced with your therapist. you used to have to do them a lot when you were really dysphoric, or when people would call you names or shove you into lockers, but now you’re on the cover of a magazine and maybe a pretty girl will kiss you tonight so. 

there’s that, a great big fuck you to everyone who was shitty, you think, and it makes you smile.

the door buzzes and you walk up, bottle of really expensive champagne in hand—you’d been given it today, so that’s convenient—and then it’s loud and fantastic, a loft full of paintings and strings of fairy lights and a lot of queer people. you feel happy, and safe, and then clarke sees you and smiles, leaves the group of friends she was talking to and walks over.

she hesitates for a moment but then you pull her in for a hug, and she sinks into it. she smells so good, and her breath is warm against your neck.

she backs up and kind of sucks in a breath when she looks at you, and you do the same because wow, her lips are so pink and, whatever, sue you, that dress is doing heavenly things to her boobs.

‘i’m glad you made it,’ she says, after a few seconds of just staring, and you nod, then take off your coat and hand her the champagne. she looks at the label and then whistles. ‘you were with miu miu today, i guess.’

‘why would i lie about that?’ you ask with a laugh, following her to the kitchen to get two glasses.

‘to impress me,’ she says with a shrug, handing the bottle to you to pop. you do, carefully because it’s good champagne and it’s not worth wasting for flair, and she takes it back and pours.

‘i think my track record is already impressive enough.’

clarke laughs and hands you a glass. she clinks her with it and says, ‘it’s not terrible, i’ll give you that.’

//

you know a lot about lexa woods but now you know this: she is absolutely splendid beneath you, full of the kinds of dips and curves you’ve dreamt of sculpting your whole life. her lips are swollen and her eyes are hooded and green and her pupils are blown and her hair is fanned out all around her, and, like. she’s an actual goddess, topless in your bed, heaving with this smug little expression.

you’d kissed at the party, and then the next day after brunch while you walked through central park, and you’ve kissed a few times since. 

but tonight it was just the two of you, after dinner near your apartment, quietly and you’d laughed as she’d fumbled with the button on your jeans, and your heart is pounding when your hands are above her waistband. 

‘is this okay?’ you ask, softly, because the lights are soft and she’s soft and so beautiful.

she nods, then says, ‘yeah,’ then says, ‘yes,’ and you kiss her because, like, you’re a little bit in love with her.

you take her jeans off reverently, her underwear off slowly, and you catch yourself staring while she swallows. ‘is everything—are you—’

‘everything is perfect,’ you say, and the look of relief on her face is wonderful and kind of heartbreaking. ‘you’re perfect.’ she kisses you, pulls you toward her. you break it, though, because she’s about to cry and you really don’t want that. ‘also, i’m perfect, as you’ve told me a number of times now, so let’s not ruin that, okay?’

she laughs and sniffles but she nods, and you touch her, and she touches you, and, like, whatever. 

it’s perfect.

//

it’s not the first time you’ve woken up in clarke’s bed, and it’s much the same: she’s awake, over by a huge canvas, in one of her dad’s old t-shirts, hair in a messy bun and usually barefoot, even in the winter. you put on your glasses and watch her contemplate which stroke to make next, which oil to press to the surface, what to bring to life.

she paints you, more than anything, especially this early. you watch her paint for a while, watch her get the green of your eyes right, watch her think carefully about your shoulders. she’s beautiful and she makes you feel venerated, seen, and you want to give that back to her, even though sometimes you don’t think you really know how.

you sigh and stretch and get out of bed, in a pair of her sleep shorts and a sweatshirt because she always runs warmer, and you’re always cold, and you kiss her forehead.

‘i’m really glad we’re incredible people,’ you say, to make her laugh, ‘so we met.’

‘i’m glad we met too, goof.’

‘i’m going to go get some bagels,’ you say, because you’re overwhelmed with the way she’s smiling at you.

‘okay,’ she says.

you get ready quickly, in comfortable quiet, while she paints. 

‘lex?’ she says, as you’re grabbing your keys from the counter.

‘yeah?’

she looks at you, tilts her head like you’ve seen her do when she takes in rembrandt, or van gogh, or hadid.

‘i love you.’

you don’t know if you’ve literally ever been this happy. you stay rooted in place, because what else can you do? if you touch her right now you think you might explode.

you can tell her, though: ‘i love you too.’

//

you know a lot about lexa woods, including the way she says i love you, bathed in sunlight in your doorway, hair gathered on top of her head, wrists still in their panic and in their comfort.

she says it back again, laughing, and, whatever.

this is probably the coolest thing yet.

[spkdnailbats]

Hyper-fixations!! (aka- my stan list)

yo so I've realized I always hyper-fixate on characters in media that I either relate to, wish to be like, or draw comfort from.... so bc I'm bored here's some peeps in this category:

•Taako (The Adventure Zone Balance) - want to be like - openly himself, multidimensional, fully realized creation, loved by many, charismatic, in a good and healthy relationship (thats also so supportive and cute and god wheres my gf version of kravitz???), unapologetic, went through some shit and came out different and with issues but is still just good, loves family, passionate

•Angus McDonald (The Adventure Zone Balance) - comfort character - hes just a sweet lil guy who just loves his weird found family and is just so smart and precious and i love him with my whole soul and being, makes me smile whenever he pops up

•Magic Brian (The Adventure Zone Balance) - comfort character - can never fail to make me laugh and smile

•Hurley (The Adventure Zone Balance) - relate to - a small ball of energy, typically a rule follower but likes to stray away sometimes, a gay!!, lowkey likes to race in my jeep (its only with my one friend and its not a legit race but we say it is and its v fun)

•Carey Fangbattle (The Adventure Zone Balance) - relate to / want to be like - tiny but big personality, a gay!!, fiesty, sneaky, tough cookie, loves a tall butch girl (i do not have a tall butch girl to love but maybe someday!!), badass little rogue (i wish)

•Virgil "Anxiety" Sanders (Sanders Sides/Thomas Sanders) - relate to - anxious ball of something, many people consider cute although deny it / dont believe it, self deprecating!!, needs a hug, tries to be intimidating but fails, the mom™ friend

•Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe) - relate to - felt lost, felt ostracized from friends (sometimes true sometimes not - gee, cognitive distortions are a bitch), found people and felt comfortable and at home with them, found family, self deprecating, separates self to not get hurt, wants to protect but also avoid, sad™

•Peridot (Steven Universe) - comfort character - had genuine growth as a character which is nice to see, is silly but also can be serious, makes me smile whenever i see her

•Howl (Howl’s Moving Castle) - relate to / want to be like - very much himself, overdramatic af (drama queen and a diva), sees the best in people, cares based on personality rather than looks (calls an old lady beautiful bc she has a good heart), a versatile lgbt (looks and acts like a gay but dates a pretty girl, the dream ngl), fashionable af and dyes hair fun colors

•Calcifer (Howl’s Moving Castle) - relate to - sassy little bitch, underappreciated until absolutely needed, small and typically seen as tame but can have a big personality at times

•Sophie Hatter (Howl’s Moving Castle) - relate to / want to be like - the odd one out, seen as ordinary, never the pretty one but always the average or forgettable one, always someone better and not often liked, when liked its always true and based on a beautiful personality, finds real love in an unlikely situation (wheres my love in life?), makes own path and doesnt care what people say/think, ambitious, does what needs to be done even if its hard, comforting maternal presence but also dominant and assertive when needed, gets shit done

•Kiki (Kiki's Delivery Service) - relate to / want to be like - is an outsider but finds her place eventually, inexperienced but trying her best, works hard in all she does, makes something of herself (i hope someday thats me), makes the best out of a bad situation

•Stitch (Lilo & Stitch) - relate to - lost, searching for home and family, feel constantly different from everyone else, runs away from problems before finally solving/fixing them

•Baymax (Big Hero 6) - comfort character - was there for hiro and did whatever possible the whole movie to help him (learning about grieving, sacrificing, etc), and there was a time in my life that I really needed that presence and didn’t have it that way at the time, but now 14 years later I’m in a much better state mentally but baymax still makes me cry bc he reminds me of stuff™, (tbh i got to “meet baymax” at disney when i was 16 and lowkey was so excited and cried a bit, and my friend bought me a stuffed animal baymax that afternoon for my birthday and i sobbed and carried it around in my bag for the rest of the trip)

•Hiro (Big Hero 6) - relate to - ((this is gonna get sad sorry ://)) so like hiro i lost a sibling (however i was much younger than hiro and my sibling was younger than me) in a way that it was inflicted by someone else but was “unintentional/collateral” and i didnt really deal with it for a while until i actually got help and started doing things again to get back into normal life. i sob beginning to end during bh6 bc i feel for hiro and i know what hes going through and what its like and it sucks

•Alice (Alice in Wonderland) - relate to - gets lost in own head a lot, kinda a wonky imagination, doesnt follow own advice (”i give myself very good advice, but i very seldom follow it”), happy doing own thing until lost or lonely which then leads to fear and anxiety, doesnt know who to trust, trying to find something that isnt easily found

•Oswald the Lucky Rabbit (Disney) - relate to - ((please look up oswalds story if you dont know who he is- in brief terms, he was a cartoon walt disney made and abandoned when he made his own studio (c. 1920s) and was replaced by mickey and was forgotten about until 2006)) cast aside, forgotten about, replaced, wants to belong

•Carson Phillips (Struck by Lightning) - want to be like / relate to - snarky and sarcastic bitch, does what he needs to in order to get shit done, a “penetrating personality” (literally a quote from the mf book), ambitious, goals bigger than anyone thinks they should be, makes morally ambiguous decisions to get what he wants

•Veronica Sawyer (Heathers) - relate to / want to be like - got some shitty friends who we dont really like but stick around with for convenience or something, has ambitions in life, stands up for what she believes in and for injustice and is generally a brave badass (i wish i was)

•Heather McNamara (Heathers) - relate to - lost, follows “friends”, tries to fit in with those around, sad™

•Elizabeth Swan (Pirates of the Caribbean) - want to be like - brave, stands up for what she believes in even if it might get her killed, tough (literally the pirate king), does what she wants cause she a bad bitch, tough, literally so pretty??, found true love in an unlikely place at an unlikely time, literally got married while fighting next to her true love vs the undead fish pirated while the ship is stuck in a whirlpool, badass af

•Kurt Hummel (Glee) - want to be like / comfort character - open about who he is, fashionable af, in the actual cutest couple on glee yall can fight me about it, learned to love himself then never stopped, a sassy queen always (i have so many of his mannerisms smh), went from cute twink to muscle boy and wow we love a glow-up, went from being bullied into submission and scared to being open and standing up for others even if he gets hurt, always made me smile, first real lgbt person i saw in the media and helped me embrace myself fully

•Klaus Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy) - relate to - outcast, lotta mental health issues, music lover and bad dancer, headphones always on, bad experiences and trauma formed self, kinda lazy

•Vanya Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy) - relate to - pushed aside, never a priority, taken advantage of, has own skill no one acknowledges, sad™

•Elphaba Thropp (Wicked) - relate to - cast out, different from everyone else, unique in own way, never the pretty one

----------------------------------------------------

and some honorable mentions of real people I connect with comfort and strive to be like in my day to day life (like ive taken on a lot of their mannerisms or sayings):

•Patrick Stump (Fall Out Boy) - literally the sweetest person ever, super talented in so many different ways, so positive and inspirational (esp about mental health)

•Gerard Way (My Chemical Romance, Umbrella Academy) - always accepting of people (esp lgbt!! gay rights!!), multi-dimensional, versatile talents (singer, song writer, artist, comic book writer)

•Mitch Grassi (Pentatonix/Superfruit) - so openly himself, genuine, verbal about mental health (esp anxiety and depression), phenomenal singer, so kind to everyone, unique, fashionable, sassy as hell, lgbt!!, shows dreams can come true

•Chris Colfer (Glee/Author) - super talented (singing, acting, writing), lgbt!!, snarky as hell, super sweet but also super funny, (tbh ive stanned him since like 2012 and hes the only celeb ive ever met and i will always stan that man)

•Hayley Kiyoko (Singer) - lesbian jesus, came out even though she was told it could ruin her career, so truly herself, open about lgbt issues and mental health, positive towards everyone, encourages everyone to open up and be unapologetically themselves

•Eugene Lee Yang (Try Guys) - authentically himself, isn’t afraid of what people thing, does his own thing even if its different and odd to some, lgbt!!, a shady bitch in the best way, has his own style and kills it always

•Daniel Howell (Youtuber) - open about mental health and most recently his past as well as lgbt experience, can make you laugh and cry at the same time somehow, more talented than he thinks he is, shows you can get through anything

[babymyharry]

the morning after

about five of my friends and i were just casually chilling around the coffee table @ 3 am last night (morning) talking about what we would do if any of us ever hooked up with harry. don't ask, idk either. but that’s how this got thrown together. i should be doing homework right now btw. i hate harry styles a lot (jk i love that bitch) 

WARNINGS :: a lot of this is literally just “texts” but you know i like to think i have a sense of humor so :-) like i said this is what i, ME PERSONALLY, would do if i ever hooked up with harold (lol) soooooo keep that in mind lmfao. 

don’t know how i feel about this one (questions my entire thought process) but hey! it’s something and i haven't posted in a while :) enjoy (;

O V E R V I E W 

“Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets or summat like tha’?”

He gets a playful shove and the roll of her eyes as she tries not to laugh at that. What a fuckin’ dork (which, in truth, just makes him all the more perfect to Y/N.)

“You’re a comedic lad, aren’t ya?”

She didn’t get crushes very easily, but it seems Harry was just the right amount of charming to have her falling faster than Alice did chasing after that damn rabbit.

or

Y/N doesn’t do one night stands and Harry truly and honestly believes she’s a proper angel or something. 

masterlist

-

It was the light streaming in through the enormous glass window that woke Y/N up from her slumber. She felt completely at peace, the atmosphere she was in creating the perfect ambiance for her restless early morning thoughts. 

That is, until she realized where she was. Well, not that she really knew exactly where the fuck she was. Because this house is definitely not her tiny studio apartment and there’s no baby Siberian husky at her feet that usually kept her company during the night and made sure to wake her with a slobbery kiss and there was no (annoying) roommate to wake her with the sounds of God knows what. 

Needless to say, Y/N had no idea what she was doing here. 

She vaguely remembers what even happened last night, if she’s being quite honest. Something about an award show her boss (whom she was an assistant for) dragged her to and a whole lot of famous people. 

And that’s exactly what makes her eyes widen and her eyes dart over to the sleeping man next to her. His bare back was facing her but she knows those tattoos from anywhere and - oh shit, he’s rolling over! 

Y/N doesn't mean for her mouth to drop in pure shock when her guess of who was next to her turns out to be accurate. 

Holy fuck, I hooked up with Harry Styles. 

His eyes were still shut tight and she really doesn't think she’s ever seen any boy look so peaceful in her whole damn life. He looks beautifully fucked out and Y/N smiles a sly smile with the remembrance that she’s the one that did that to him. 

Yet, that doesn't stop the adrenaline coursing through her and her mind raising a mile a minute. She really hopes he’s a deep sleeper when she tip toes over to her forgotten purse. She rolls her eyes when she spots her undies quite literally hanging from the lamp sitting in the corner of his bedroom. 

Y/N wasn’t always one for one night stands. She had always gone with the boyfriend route. Any boy who was ever interested in her knew you had to make her feel like a princess much before any clothes would be coming off. And so they did that. She’s had over 5 boyfriends in the past 2 years and maybe it was her fault she kept falling for assholes but Y/N really think she has the words “hurt me” and “break my heart” tattooed on her damn forehead or summat. Because none of them ever worked out. The longest relationship she’s ever been in was three months and that ended about 2 weeks ago when Y/N caught him cheating on her with her roommate (she also needed to seriously look for a new roommate). 

Her best friend Celeste told her the easiest way to forget about a dude was by getting another dudes attention. 

Maybe that’s exactly what Y/N was doing. 

She peers back at the bed with, sure enough, a knocked out Harry Styles still very much asleep. She grabs her phone out of the small clutch she had brought to the event with her last night and texts Celeste with emotions she doesn't know how to describe raising through her. 

to Celeste girl, please tell me you're awake!!!! need some girl help asap

from Celeste what's shakin??

to Celeste okay no time to explain but i took your advice and ventured out and kinda hooked up with a guy??? and he's sound asleep next to me and idk what to do i've neVER BEEN IN THIS SITUATION?? should i like leave or is that bad or will he be annoyed if i stay GIRL HELP ME

from Celeste whoa Y/N!!! WHAT THEFUCK NEVER THOT YOU HAD IT IN YOU

to Celeste SHUT UP OMG HELP ME IM A NUN IDK THESE THINGS

from Celeste okok so he's sleeping right??

to Celeste like a baby

from Celeste yeah plz stay omg

to Celeste stay? should i act like i'm sleeping or something when he wakes up or?????

from Celeste i mean sure but regardless DONT LEAVE THAT HOUSE

to Celeste OK GOTCHA see this is why we're friends

from Celeste so i can give you hoe advice?

to Celeste precisely.

from Celeste yo is he hot lmao

to Celeste girl he's a dream. not only that he's such a gentleman

from Celeste MARRY HIM

to Celeste stfu i'm still freaking out

from Celeste what is this boy's name i need details

to Celeste you wouldn't believe me if i told you

from Celeste wait so i know him??

to Celeste uhm!! kinda ig omg

from Celeste TELL ME DONT DEPRIVE ME OF GOSSIP

to Celeste my lips are sealed

from Celeste ugh you whore Y/N's finally got some dick after lame ass dude from film school and he's so hot she can't even name him. will we ever find out mr dreamy's name?? we'll just have to wait and see. you know i'm always watching. xoxo, gossip girl

to Celeste LMFAO STOPP IT ADKJSF srsly Celeste i'm freaking out i don't know how he's gonna react when he wakes up

from Celeste i'm going to be so honest bc we're best friends. he may be a rly nice ass dude and i'm hoping to God but if he's an ass and asks you to leave i don't want your lil heart to hurt okay? some guys are like that and i don't want you to get your hopes up

to Celeste i won't i won't he was just a hot hookup, yeah?

from Celeste for now at least yeah but hey maybe mr dreamy is rly who you say he is and you end up dating or some shit that would be rad as hell but for now UNLEASH THE INNER HOE

to Celeste OH SHIT HE JUST MOVED GTG PRAY FOR ME

from Celeste   CALL ME RIGHT AFTER YOU LEAVE BABE I WANNA GET TO KNOW MR DREAMY BETTER 

And so with the roll of her eyes and a smile on her lips, Y/N swiftly makes her way back over to the bed, so quietly you might question if she was supposed to be some sort of spy in a different life. 

It’s about three minutes later when his eyes start fluttering that she puts on her best acting impression of someone who totally didn't just text her best friend asking about hook up advice. 

Harry’s hands go to his eyes and he’s blinking and wiping the sleep away when he gets a glimpse of the mile long legs next to his. There’s a brief flashback of last night where those same legs were wrapped around his hips in the car on the way to his flat after - fuck, what event even was that? Her tantalizing physique making it nearly impossible for him to wait to just fucking rip the fabric of the dress off. 

He shakes his head of the memory, glancing to the right angel next to him. 

Her hair was draped perfectly around her face resembling a halo or summat and Harry really doesn’t know what to call the emotions coursing through him. 

She’s beautiful, he decides. Completely and irrevocably beautiful. Harry’s heart does a weird twist and he has no fucking idea what it means but he can’t find a reason to dislike whatever was happening. He quite likes the feeling, actually. 

He doesn't know what the fuck to do, though. Wake her? Let her sleep? 

If only Harry knew she was in the exact same situation minutes ago. 

He opts for leaning over and cuddling into her with a lingering kiss to her cheek. (Y/N was quite the actress, wasn't she?) 

Her eyes slowly blink open as if she’s been asleep for a decade and then they meet with his. 

Her eyes roam from his eyes to his lips, from his eyes to his lips, from his eyes to his lips....

The next thing Harry knows is that they’re kissing. Much less fervent than last night but the drive is still there and he was over the moon about it. Her giggle causes the dimples to shine through as she broke the kiss. 

They probably just stared at each other for a good couple of seconds before he muttered the first sober words, “Mornin’, love.” 

Maybe they were both dissociating the fact they were proper strangers. Proper giggling like they’d been dating or something - how absurd. But neither Harry or Y/N really seem to have a care in the world about that. 

His voice was thick and raspy and Y/N never knew British accents were her thing till now. She could get used to this. 

But then realty sunk in. 

He’s Harry Styles. He’s a multi-milonaire with enough female attention to have a one night stand every night for the rest of his life and then some, if it did fancy him. Y/N couldn't be anything special to him. Right? 

“I should.. I should probably go, right?” 

His eyebrows furrow and those dimples are no where to be found when her question is asked. Maybe Harry was wrong, maybe she didn't feel the same way. 

But God. He doesn't think anyone has ever successfully made him feel this fucked out in a long time and the fact her beauty had him proper stuttering over the next thing he said to her was proof enough of how he felt. 

“What’s the rush?” The way his words come out so very somber (replicating a wounded little puppy dog, and Y/N’s heart almost breaks) causes Y/N to put a hand to his cheek as her eyes go wild in panic. 

“Didn't- didn’t mean it like tha’! Swear. Sorry, I’m just.. not really used to this kinda thing.” 

Harry’s eyes shine at that as lips turn upwards, “Whatcha mean by tha’?” 

“Like,” she motions between the two of them, “I don't hook up.” 

Harry wouldn't admit that actually makes him all the more attracted to her. She definitely wasn’t inexperienced, that he already knew. Far from that, if he’s being frank. But it might've tickled his tulips a bit too much with the information that she hadn’t accompanied too many blokes in their bedroom affairs and he’s seriously relieved about that. Not that he has any room to be jealous of her past lovers... but he is. 

“Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets or summat like tha’?” 

He gets a playful shove and the roll of her eyes as she tries not to laugh at that. What a fuckin’ dork (which, in truth, just makes him all the more perfect to Y/N.)

“You’re a comedic lad, aren’t ya?” 

Y/N really wants to kiss those dimples and stay wrapped in his arms forever. She didn’t get crushes very easily, but it seems Harry was just the right amount of charming to have her falling faster than Alice did chasing after that damn rabbit. 

The hand that was resting on her hip squeezes playfully as he chuckles a very boyish laugh that makes him look years younger. Y/N is a bit too enamored with how pretty she thinks he is. How long ago did they meet again? 

“I try, my darling,” There’s a flash in his eyes and it seems he wants to say so much but settles with holding his hand out for her to shake and she’s confused till he speaks. 

“M’harry.” 

She grins with realization and Harry decides every time she smiles an angel defiently gets their wings. “Y/N.” 

And so they shake hands with eyes full of a lustful kind of love and hearts full of gold. 

“Nice to meet yeh, love.” 

- 

hope you enjoyed :) 

send me feedback 

my other writings 

all the fucking love,

- amanda xx