#her not knowing whether to save clint or yelena

[perseus-vii]

More on the hunger games au because work is boring 

- Kate is not a revolutionary by any means

- she is just very angry at the capitol, the loss of her father still very fresh in her mind

- her anger is towards the unfairness of being subject to the whims of the president, who has anyone who displeased him killed. 

- she still enjoys much of the luxury that comes from being in district 1, even more so from having the favor of the capitol thanks to her mother's connections. 

- still she has spent a lot of her time training for the games, something her dad had always insisted on.

- 'Bishops are winners' he had said to her so often. So she won. At everything she tried. 

- in her mind Kate has always prepared for the Games. She has no clue the things her mother has done to prevent her name from being entered

- when her name gets called and no one volunteers, Kate thinks 'this is it. This is my moment'. But she is also secretly terrified because things have gotten very real, very fast. 

- and her mother starts talking to her about responsibilities in the goodbye room before the train, and Kate starts to think maybe this is her fault, maybe her name being called is not just fate, and maybe she ranted against the capitol one time too many. 

- so she cries and apologizes to her mother and Eleanor cannot bring herself to admit that it's her own fault for her daughter's situation.

Hawkeye Hunger Games AU

Okay this is definitely not fleshed out or anything but like:

- Kate Bishop, from like district 1-2?

- Yelena from district 1, where they actually train for the games.

- A few years ago Natasha volunteered to accompany her best friend Clint when he got drafted, and she ended up sacrificing herself so he could go home.

- Eleanor Bishop has been bribing people and making sure her daughter's name is not entered in the ballot for as long as possible

- but she pisses off kingpin, aka the President. He decides to make her pay for it by arranging for Kate's name to be drawn for the arena.

- Kate being from the 1/2 district has definitely been training all her life in preparation, although she is unaware of her mother's dealings for her protection.

- in addition to sending Kate to the arena, kingpin wants to make sure to send a message, and in comes yelena

-yelena basically gets hired to make sure Kate Bishop does not come out of the arena.

- at first she refuses, but then she is told Clint volunteered to be there to protect Kate, whom he's taken under his wing since his return from the games.

- so she accepts to volunteer, seeing a chance to take revenge for her sister's death, which she attributes to Clint.

- from here Kate and Yelena meet in the capitol, and since Yelena has been instructed to make it look like an accident she decides to befriend Kate in order to get a better idea as how to take her out the best way once they're in the arena.

-except that Kate Bishop is very charming and not at all what Yelena expected.

- so her plans change and she decides that Kate will be the one making it out of the arena no matter what.

[winterzxsoldierz]

War Child

Part one

Bucky Barnes x (Fem) Reader

Avengers x (Fem) Reader

Warnings: Blood, mention of deaths, other creepy hydra shit, bad language words (lol) and a lot more other warnings, so be prepared.

Characters: Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Clint Barton (Sometimes) Natasha Romanoff, Bruce Banner (Sometimes) Thor Odison, Loki Laufeyson, Peter Parker, Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximoff, Pietro Maximoff, Bucky Barnes, Yelena Belova, Arnim Zola,

Description: You're a hydra experiment or had been one since you were young, For years you lived within the cold walls of Siberia and when you finally get free, faces from the past and demons come out to haunt you Reader is an enchanted superhuman, she has the super soldier serum giving her, super speed, super strength, a healing factor, fast metabolism, endurance, strong lung capacity & etc, she also has both fire and ice magic. The time line in this will review the past and present. Reader can look anyway you want. Her soon love interest will be Bucky. Authors Note: Please know that none of these characters belong to me, they belong to marvel, Y/N is your character of choice. also your thoughts will be orange, Bucky's thoughts will be blue and the others will be purple

Avengers tower present 9:34 am Avengers pov

Gathered around table enjoying breakfast and conversation sits the avengers, everyone seems happy, Bucky and Loki bantering with one another about who can do bad better, Steve acting like a mom and Tony being the overgrown brat, Wanda, Natasha and Yelena talking quietly amongst each other in sokovian, then there's Peter, Pietro, Sam and Thor arguing about how many bad guys they can beat in a fight, like family they're fun and chaotic. Everything seemed to go quiet when the leather jacket wearing, eye patched man walks in with a file and flash drive, the atmosphere once relaxed and playful now tense and serious, as all eyes land on the director Nick Fury. "Hope i'm not souring the mood." he says his tone, dripping with his usual uncaring sarcasm. "Anyways." he continues, "We have a problem, a big one, a loose cannon hydra related one." He sets down the file on the middle of the table and Bucky is the first to grab it, the minute he opens it, the color from his face drains, there it was a whole section dedicated to you, a ghost is what you are, one he was made to train when he was The winter soldier, a deadly weapon is what you became, just like him, but unlike him, he was captured, but you, you were born and raised into a hell, and turned into something so deadly.

Steve looks at Bucky and raises a brow in concern and curiosity, Steve pauses debating whether he should say anything but he decides to anyway, "Hey Buck, you alright, you look a little pale." Bucky snaps out of his current thoughts and glances at Steve and the rest of the team and he swallows, a shaky sigh leaving his lips and he says "I know her, i knew her." Every member of the team gives each other looks before nodding and taking turns to look at the entire file and Sam speaks "So where do we start?"

Italy present

Your Pov I arrive back into my rented apartment, after getting some needed food and water, i knew my time here in Italy was running thin but there was something about this place i liked, i couldn't get comfortable though, it was only a matter of time before the devil came knocking. After heating up a simple tv dinner, i sit on the small couch in my living room watching the old school box television, it's on the news channel, the headlines read "Avengers strike once again saving over a hundred innocent civilians from a hostage situation with the terrorist group known as HYDRA." A sigh leaves me and i start eating as i change the channel to a cartoon, it wasn't one i've seen before, it was a blonde with really long hair and a pretty purple dress, now interested i continue to watch the movie and finish my dinner, soon i set my plate aside and just watch tv, i was enjoying the movie more than i'd like to admit. Berlin 1953 (Past & your nightmare) "Papa, i don't understand what you want me to do, you little voice trembles as you look up at the man in front of you, he stare you down and pats you head, his German accent thick as he speaks, "In time, you will learn to master the gift i have given you my child." a grin spreads on Zola's lips, to you it seemed innocent but only if you knew it was anything but innocent.

Your Pov (Present) I jolted awake in a slight sweat, my eyes dart around the room, weariness and confusion etched on my features, i thought i was back hom-there, but i'm in my living room, i'm in Italy, i swallow and wipe my forehead with the sleeve of my sweater and i stand up, my steps are silent on the wood floors as i walk into the kitchen, i fill me a glass of water and gulp it down as if i was a man stuck in the desert. my hands are shaky as i set the glass down and stare at the dark curtained covered windows. "He's gone, no longer here." i tell myself and i make my way to my bathroom, a shower was much needed to calm myself.

Berlin 1954 (Past & Bucky's nightmare) "Soldat! you're back with the stuff." Zola hums in approval and takes the metal case from the winter soldier, he snaps his fingers for the soldier to follow him and the soldier complies without question. Zola leads the soldier into the lab, for a moment the soldier tenses, he didn't think he had another procedure today but then his eyes falls onto you, a girl strapped down onto a table asleep, he blinks, he couldn't tell if it was worry, or surprise but he manages to school it like he was taught, the soldiers eyes follow Zola as he pulls out the bag of super serum, it was a cheap one, not to affective but it'll still work, just not like his, the soldier watches as Zola sticks it into an IV like bag and he watches as Zola stick the IV into you and slowly the serum makes it way to your skin and finally it slips into your blood stream making you jolt in pain and cry out.

Avengers tower (Present) Bucky's room Bucky's Pov His eyes snap open quickly and they dart around, checking for any signs of danger or anyone one at all, nothing it's all silent except for his racing heart and his own breathing, his brows are furrowed as he recalls the nightmare, that day, the day when Karpor made him bring that serum to Zola, that day where your life would change for ever and not for the good, a wave of guilt floods through Bucky as he thinks about that day, how he just watched, and stood there as that evil son of a bitch gave you that serum with no remorse as he hurt and changed you drastically. Bucky knew he had to find you, hell he knew you were lost and confused like he was and like he had steve, you'll have him.

Let me know what you think, i will definitely be making different parts to this story, i'm pausing my other story to work on this one since i had this longer and like this better. Part two is being worked on so stay tuned.

Tag list: @sapphirebarnes i know you wanted to be tagged in my other post but i'm keeping that on hold right now, so i hope you like this one just as much.

[miscfandomwrites]

A/N: This is from about two years ago, from my old account. I know this was requested by someone yet I don't have anything saved for a name besides 'anon' so. There's not much to this but figured I'd post it anyways.

Pairing: Avengers x Widow! Reader

Warnings: Flashbacks, food based and major trust issues, reader self-isolates from everyone, everyone is kinda mean, natasha and yelena nearly kill half the avengers, language, angst, fluff(ish) ending

Words: 1.4k

Tagging: @tyler-t0t

Summary: Reader escaped the red room with more than just physical scars. At Fury’s request she joined the Avengers for ‘Rehabilitation’ back into society, which led to an awful prank played on her that caused her to lose all trust with them. She hasn’t met Natasha or Yelena yet as they’ve been away on a deep undercover mission..but once they return and learn what has been going on with the reader and the team, and what it’s making the reader relive through, all hell breaks loose.

~~ “It’s a cinnamon poptart, not the blueberry one, I swear by it.” Thor told me as I held the shiny silver package in my hands, debating on whether or not to open it. I was reminded back to last week, when Clint tried the same thing on me. I glanced back up at the god-and he was giving me the puppy dog eyes.

There was a history of the avengers giving me the wrong food. It started out as a joke that made me physically sick enough to the point where I couldn’t eat for almost a week because of it and turned into a joke for them. Well, it wasn’t a joke for me.

I sighed, glancing at the generic wrapper which didn’t tell me shit about what flavour it was. Looked back at Thor and his puppy dog eyes and decided that maybe it was worth a try.

Of course, when I tear open the package it’s the blueberry one. I stared at it for a good minute or so as Sam and Bucky started losing it at my deadpan facial expression, and I just dropped the poptart on the table and turned on my heel and walked away, trying not to remember what happened and blocking out my brain from trying to kill me again.

Steady walking turned into a fast-paced stride, which turned into a jog, then into a full on sprint. I had no idea where the hell I was going, I was too far into my head to tell beyond me descending the back staircase down several flights of stairs. I kept going down,

Down,

Down,

Until I hit a wall, and realized I was at the very bottom of the tower. I didn’t even know that there even was a bottom to the tower until now…and knowing already that it had almost two dozen floors, and the kitchen was almost at the direct top…

I must’ve ran down at least ten or maybe even fifteen flights…

My head was still spinning as I leaned against the wall, the sweat from my body making my clothes stick to me and my legs started to shake slightly. Being a supersoldier had its benefits when it came to fights and physical activity, but even then it had its limits.

My breathing came hard and fast, and I closed my eyes tightly as I turned around, pressing my back against the cold, solidness of the concrete wall and slid down until I could rest my arms on my knees and sucked in one breath, held it for seven seconds, then slowly breathed out through my mouth for ten. I kept repeating the pattern, six, seven, ten, until everything stopped spinning and I felt less light headed.

~

I don’t know how long I was down there, and only took my head off my arms to answer my phone’s consistent buzzing, alerting me to a call. I slid it from my pocking, wincing at the slight protest of my muscles and the phone screen that was still slightly slick from my sweat. I wiped it off on my pant leg and answered it, not bothering to check the contact info.

“Agent (L/N), please do inform me why you are not present at the meeting right now.” a deep voice which I recognized as Fury’s sounded through the speaker. Shit. Meeting. That must mean…

It was six in the evening-I’d left the kitchen around two-

I have been down here for four hours.

I quickly scrambled up, heading to the elevators and pushed the up button as I told Fury I’d be there in less then ten minutes and ended the call. The elevator shot up to my floor as I sniffed my shirt, smelling the sweat and slight mustyness of the basement on it. My body smelled physically fine, but my clothes reeked. Still need deodorant however.

Once on my floor I quickly threw off my clothes as I rushed into my room, grabbing some of the first clothes I saw and changing into them then heading to the bathroom to look semi-presentable. While sure, it probably wasn’t necessary for me to ‘freshen up’ I didn’t want any comments about my appearance or smell, better yet I didn’t want any mention of me and didn’t know why Fury was bothering me to join the avengers since I wasn’t a ‘main’ member.

I finished getting presentable and glanced at what I was wearing, a pair of grey faded jeans that I tucked a black tshirt into and had pulled on my olive green converse, and right before I left my bedroom I grabbed my green button up jacket and slid it on, hoping it’d pair better with the shoes. Thankfully I left my bow gloves on the small bookcase next to the elevator and decided to get those on a whim as I rushed into the elevator and told FRIDAY to take me to the meeting floor.

I pulled my hair up into a slightly messy bun and called it good, soothing any wrinkles and tucking in my shirt more and just fidgeting with my clothes in general.

The avengers, or at least the ones who I’ve seen since I started living in the tower-Thor, Sam, Bucky, Tony, Steve, Bruce, Peter, and a few others whose names I didn’t bother to remember, I did not trust at all. And that was putting it lightly. Ever since the incident when I first started living here-which was not my choice mind you, Fury told me to live here so here I am-I tried my best in avoiding them at all costs. The last thing I wanted was to be stuck one on one with any one of them…especially the males.

Natasha and her sister, Yelena, have been on a almost eight month mission and I haven’t met them yet, but there was one thing the three of us had in common: The red room.

Memories I’d rather not remember were thankfully interrupted by FRIDAY chiming at me and opening the door of the elevator, and I walked out into the conference / meeting room.

~

“Look what the cat dragged in, finally.” Tony stated as I walked to the meeting table, taking a seat at the end of it. I glanced around noticing two new faces-females, and from the red and yellow hair I guess Natasha and Yelena.

“Took you long enough.” Steve glared at me as I tried to remain indifferent.

I did notice both Yelena and Natasha stiffen when they saw me, and even more so when they saw my slight reaction to their comments. I didn’t bother introducing myself, figuring they probably damn remember who I was.

Of course, I had a different nickname in the room, but those days were long gone.

Fury nodded at me and explained what the two had dug up from their reconnaissance mission, explaining how there was a series of various drug cartels that had access to a substance that not only was highly illegal, but magical in nature.

I turned out during the last half of it, upon hearing Sam and Bucky having their heads together and snickering, occasionally glancing my way. At some point I heard whispers of what would happen if they caught me alone, and at that point I was done-black creeped on the edge of my vision as I rolled the chair back and I remembered that I hadn’t eaten in awhile. Suddenly a loud slam echoed through the room, caused by Natasha slamming her hand on the table, standing up.

“Will you two shut the fuck up before I decide to kill you?”

I stared in shock as she glared at Sam and Bucky, Yelena also standing with her, glaring and had a knife palmed in her hand already.

“You have no fucking idea what it was like for her, for us going through that room and all you’ve been doing is making her fucking miserable. I’ve been getting reports on what you two’ She turned and glanced around the entire team at this ‘on what everyone has been doing to her. You’re lucky I was too deep into the mission or I would’ve come here sooner.” She turned to Fury and he nodded at her, and then spoke up.

“Natasha and Yelena will be taking care of the black listed missions from now on, and they will be taking care of miss (L/N) as well. Upon their wishes, they are no longer a part of this team.”

Both the girls turned to me, Yelena sliding her knife away and Natasha holding out a hand to me.

“Come on, Серебряная Лиса, we’ve got you.”

We’ve got you.

(Silver fox)

[vidalsbeloved]

Some Things Should Be Left a Secret, Yes?

Yelena Belova/Kate Bishop

Warnings none

Clint Barton/Kate Bishop

Written by Automaticroadpeachdragon

Or Bishoelena on A03

Though Kate’s Christmas had been the definition of chaos, there was still some hope that she held onto. Like when Clint took it upon himself to bring Kate home with him. It was probably the only real joy Kate had gotten since she’d met him. But it still pained that she couldn’t be with her family over the holidays. But at least she could say, that this Christmas she saved Hawkeye, from death if she could even take the credit. However, that doesn’t suffice the fact that Clint has probably saved her more times than she him. 


Kate spent New Year’s with the Barton clan, and then a week later she went home. Coming back to New York was far less exciting, knowing that her mom was in jail and well really having no one to welcome her was just not the type of roof Kate was used to. Especially knowing that her home was still in no living condition, but that was something to worry about when she felt like it. 


Luckily for Kate, her Aunt's apartment was still open to her. So she stayed there until her apartment was in the remodel process.

By the end of her first week home, Kate took it upon herself to return to work. Which she regretted the second she stepped foot into the office. Reporters lined her office door, just exactly what she had been dreading the second she put her mom in prison. 


She knew that she had made the right decision at Rock Feller, but she still had her regrets. It clung to her thoughts every second. But she had buried them to the best she ever could. But now in the moment, she wished she’d never walked into work. She wished she could talk to her mom and apologize. But she knew she was better off dead.

Instead of leaving though, she made a wise decision and took on whatever the reporters had to throw at her. Whether it be shame, guilt, or maybe even the littlest of support, she took it. Because to every degree, Kate knew she deserved it.

By the end of her shift, She was out the door in due time. The weight on her shoulders was relieved and she finally felt herself at ease. For the first time since Kate had gotten back to New York, she finally felt at peace. 


~~

 

On Kate’s way home from work, a sudden thought occurred to her. What now? After everything she’d been through in the past couple of weeks, she thought maybe, just maybe something bigger would happen. Maybe she’d been too in her head? The only things that had changed her life drastically in the past three weeks were a: putting her mother behind bars, and b: taking over her mother’s business. 

It wasn’t enough— Kate wanted more. She wanted to be a hero, but nothing was happening or adding up. When she met Clint, she was just a girl with hundreds of gold medals and a bow. Now, she was his prodigy. Clint hadn’t been in touch with the girl in a week, it was like he accepted Kate as his prodigy, but wasn’t there supposed to be training? Fighting bad guys? Just like they had at Rock Feller Center. 

Perhaps Kate had overlooked it all, maybe it wasn’t all that easy getting into the role of Hawkeye. But Kate had trained for it her entire life, Clint knew she wanted to be a hero— she craved for the greater good. She wanted more of it, but deep down there was some level of second-guessing. And really, that wasn’t something Kate was used to. She was usually a go-after type of person. The more she thought about it, the more clouded her brain became. She shouldn’t be thinking like this. She shook her head, focusing her gaze back on the sidewalk. She hadn’t realized she had made it home this quick, I guess that’s what happens when you think too much. 

She walked into her aunt's building and climbed the stairs. By the time she had arrived at her doorstep, she was reaching for her keys. The sound of footsteps from the other side of the door caught Kate’s attention midway. She paused, put her ear up against the door, and listened. 


What welcomed her was the sound of blasting music. Was her aunt back in town already? She couldn’t be, she was supposed to be gone until summer. And nobody could have possibly gotten into the apartment, there are security sensors that go off. It was so strange, unless…

The kitchen light was on, and all that was heard was music and the sound of dishes. It couldn’t be… could it? 


She slowly walked into the kitchen, hand grabbing for the first thing in sight. 


“A rolling pin really, Kate Bishop?” 


Facing the stove was no one other than Yelena Belova. Kate stood open-mouthed and staring at the blonde assassin’s back.


“Cat got your tongue?” the blonde says and although she is facing away from Kate— there is no doubt that she was smirking. 

“What the hell?” Kate breathed out. 


“What? No ‘hi’ or ‘hello’ that’s very rude, Kate Bishop. Has no one ever taught you manners? So very rude.” The blonde grumbles and shakes her head.

“I’m sorry, what do you expect me to say? ‘Oh hi Yelena! It’s so nice to see you, the last time we saw each other you were kicking my ass and trying to kill my mentor!’” The words seemed to tumble from Kate’s mouth before she could even wrap her head around the fact that Yelena was in her aunt's kitchen.

Yelena whirls around her mouth hanging open in mock offense and says. “A, I did not ‘kick your ass’ as you say, it was a mere tussle. I would never hurt the baby bird. And B, yes I admit to ‘trying’ to kill Barton but as you can see he is very much alive and well.”

“You kicked me in the ribs full force,” Kate says exasperatedly.

“And you threw me like a rag doll, so now we’re even,” Yelena says with a shrug and turns back to the pan.

“Okay cut to the chase— why are you here?” Kate asks wearily.

“It’s not to kill you if that’s what you were wondering.” Yelena voices Kate’s thoughts.

“How did you…. never mind the dumb question.” Kate shakes her head.

Yelena chuckles, “Don’t worry… I’m here because Barton sent me.”

Kate’s eyes widen, “Clint sent you? Why?”

“He said while you were staying with him at the barn you seemed distant… also that you could use the company.”

“And he sent you of all people?” She didn’t mean to make it sound so indiscreet, but it just felt so weird of Clint to even ask Yelena.

Kate didn’t even really know her— maybe it was because when they were ‘tussling’ it distracted Kate from thinking about everything that had to do with her mom.

But how could it? Eleanor had hired Yelena to kill Clint.

The thought was immediately whipped from mind when Yelena said, “Are you not happy to see me, Kate Bishop?”

“I didn’t say that!” Kate defended. “It’s just that I didn’t expect to see you again.”

“You will find that I am full of surprises, Kate Bishop,” Yelena says with a smirk over her shoulder.

“No Shit,” Kate mumbles. “I hope that doesn’t mean you continuing to break into my places by window.”

The only response to that was a hum.

Silence fell over them, Yelena was stirring the pot and Kate was standing very awkwardly in her kitchen just staring at the blonde assassins back.

“It is not nice to stare, Kate Bishop,” Yelena says.

Kate looks away immediately and puts her hands on the countertop. “I wasn’t….whatever.”

Yelena looks over her shoulder again and smiles when she sees Kate squirming. Kate can feel Yelena’s eyes on her as she looks anywhere but in her direction. If Kate were being honest— it was nice. Having someone over, especially since she was alone. Of course, she’d never admit that, not to Yelena at least. After all, she still wasn’t entirely sure if she trusted her.

“Can I ask you something?” Kate asks.

“Depends.”

Kate rolls her eyes, “Can I trust you?”

Yelena stops what she’s doing and turns to Kate— eyes studying her.

“You shouldn’t but I suppose if Barton sent me here to ‘check on you’ then maybe you can,” Yelena says, a small grin forming on her lips. “That is if, you can.”

Kate smiles softly back. “We’ll see.”

Yelena shrugs at that and turns back to the pot.

“So…” Kate starts. “How did you manage to get past all of the security cameras and all?”

Yelena shakes her head. “That is classified information.”

Kate groans and says, “Well I’d appreciate it if you didn’t break into my house— there is a door.”

“But that wouldn’t be as fun, now would it?”

“Ugh….whatever,” Kate says under her breath.

“So Clint sent you….” Kate started. “I wasn’t aware you two were talking.”

“It’s nothing really,” Yelena says simply. “He has some of Natasha’s belongings and has offered to give them to me.”

“Oh…” Kate says. “That’s very nice of him.”

“I suppose.” Yelena sighs, then she looks up to Kate and says. “But this does not mean I all of a sudden like him.”

Kate nods, “Didn’t think it did anyways.”

“Enough about me and Barton,” says Yelena with a faux wave of her hand. “What’s going on in that brain of yours?”

Kate looks down at the counter before answering, “Nothing.”

Yelena sends her a look. “Fine, Clint sent you here to baby me. I’ll talk, but it’s not going to change anything.”

“It’s just that— I have so much on my plate right now. My mother’s in jail, my dad’s dead and I have nothing. I thought meeting Clint meant something great for me. Like I finally found my purpose in life. Clint took me under his wing as his prodigy— that was the greatest thing I’ve ever done in life. But then you came along and I found out that my mother hired you to kill him. I didn’t expect that, it hurts knowing my mother hired someone to kill someone I’ve looked up to my entire life. And on top of that being the one to put her behind bars. It’s a shitty feeling. I regret it so much that I have no doubt she wants nothing to do with me right now. And now I don’t even know if being a hero was worth it.”

“It was her own fault, Kate. She did this to herself so if anything it’s on her.” Kate hears Yelena say from the other end of the room.

“I wish I could believe that,” Kate says sadly. “That’s not the only thing I’m dealing with. I’m the CEO of her company. I don’t know if I can handle that.”

“Taking ownership of a big company like that is a lot of work, no doubt. But you’ve dealt with bigger things Kate.”

“This is different though,” Kate says. “Way more different.”

“Maybe so…. But you took on Kingpin all by yourself. If you think that wasn’t something then you are wrong.”

The conversation ended there because Yelena was right. And yeah, maybe Kate was only half convinced. But it was enough to make Kate realize if her mother could do it for years then so could she.

“Come now, Kate Bishop. I made macaroni. We eat and watch movies to cheer you up.” Yelena said optimistically.

[helloalycia]

⇇ chapter seven ⇇

story masterlist | main masterlist | wattpad

⇉ chapter nine ⇉

author’s note: i’m not THAT cruel that i’d give you angst so soon, don’t worry. hope you enjoy this one ♥️

33 years old

With majority of my life going to utter crap quite quickly, it was hard to expect anything more.

But a year had passed since I'd been freed from Dreykov's control, no longer a weapon to be used by anyone, and everything was going great. Better than great, in fact.

For the first time, ever I think, I was truly enjoying life. I'd been promoted to an assistant manager at the stationary shop I worked at and though some may have believed that was boring, I loved it. Meeting the regulars, helping people find the right items for their various craft projects, chatting the day away... it was a dream. Such a massive change of pace to what I'd been used to. And I thought I'd get bored of it, missing the action I once had, but I honestly didn't.

The repetitious routine of waking up early, watering my plants, having breakfast, saying hi to my neighbour, doing a full day's work and coming home to unwind for the evening, only to do it all again the next day, was a dream. It was so easy for me to find joy in the little things – deciding whether to have a coffee or hot chocolate with my biscuit, trying out a new recipe, making plans with some friends from work – and I wasn't sure I ever wanted to give it up.

Everything I'd fantasised about whilst being in the Red Room and graduating as a Black Widow was finally true. Well, save for one little detail... but I tried not to dwell on that because that was impossible.

Yelena and Nat had visited once more in person since our Scotland trip, staying over for a week to get a glimpse into my new life. Yelena loved it, but I think she just loved trying new things. Nat didn't hate it, but I knew it wasn't for her... which hurt a little, since she was the one thing missing, technically speaking, but those were dreams from an old me. I was just grateful for our friendship now.

It was my turn to visit them in New York soon enough and I planned to stay for a week, excited for the break from work and mainly just looking forward to seeing them both again. Though, the first day I was arriving would also be the day I would finally meet Clint Barton AKA Hawkeye AKA Nat's best friend, the one who'd given her an out.

It was Nat's idea to invite him, since it was apparently long overdue for them to see each other again since she'd been on the run and he happened to be in town. She thought it would be nice for Yelena and I to meet him, too, like we had with Vision and Wanda, and I wasn't opposed to the idea... but I was a little nervous.

This was the man who had taken her in, given her another chance at life. The man who she only ever spoke highly of, looked up to, considered true family. It was a little intimidating to say the least, but I was also curious to know what he was like.

When I got to New York after a very long and tiresome journey, the first thing I did was sleep in the comfy hotel I'd booked. Yelena had offered to have me stay with her and Nat, but her flat only had one room and there wasn't much space since it was bought for only her and Nat occasionally stayed with her when she wasn't off freeing Widows.

After a well-needed nap, I got ready for the evening meal that I was pretending I wasn't nervous for and headed over to Yelena's. Sucking up a deep breath, I made sure I looked presentable a final time and knocked on the door.

"Someone took their time," Yelena said once she opened the door, and I instantly panicked.

"Oh my– am I late?" I asked, wondering if I'd got the time wrong.

She grinned, shaking her head. "Nah, I'm kidding. Come here!"

Before I could say anything, she pulled me forward and almost crushed the bouquet of flowers in my hand as she squeezed me into a hug.

"It's so good to see you, Y/L/N," she said exuberantly, before standing back to get a better look at me. Then her eyes fell to the bouquet and her smile widened, if possible. "Are those for me? You shouldn't have!"

I suppressed a laugh as she took the bouquet and studied them. "They're actually for you and your sister."

"For me, got it," she said jokingly, before putting an arm around my shoulder. "Come on. You're just on time. Nat wouldn't stop talking about you."

I felt my neck grow warm at the thought of Nat being just as excited to see me, and let Yelena lead me into her living room after kicking the door close behind us.

"By the way, you look very nice tonight," she complimented, looking me up and down. "Great choice with the boots. I love them!"

I laughed quietly, missing her vibrancy. "Thank you, Yelena. You look great, too. Did you get more ear piercings?"

She winked. "Don't you know it."

We stopped in her open-plan living room/kitchen, where Nat was finishing setting up some place settings on the dining table. She looked divine, I wasn't afraid to admit it for a change. It wasn't anything fancy, just an off-white blouse and black trousers – but she made it work. Especially with the bright red lipstick she wore. I was certain red lipstick was only ever made for her in this moment.

"Look who's here?" Yelena said, pulling me from my daydream and letting go of my shoulders.

Nat stopped what she was doing and looked up, an instant smile spreading across her lips when her eyes found mine. "Finally."

"It's not a quick trip, is it?" I teased, before moving toward to meet her halfway.

"It's not, but you still should've been quicker," she mumbled into my shoulder when she hugged me, making me weak in the knees admittedly. "How are you? How was the flight?"

"I'll be sure to fly the plane myself next time," I jested, making her shove me in the shoulder when we broke apart from our hug. She rolled her eyes playfully and I couldn't stop smiling. "The flight was good. I'm good, too. I did bring flowers, but–"

"But they're for me, not you," Yelena finished for me, and we both turned around to see her filling a vase in the kitchen sink. "Thanks again, Y/N!"

I smiled apologetically at Nat. "She kinda took them, sorry."

Nat shook her head, a smile ghosting her lips. "It's fine. I appreciate the thought."

Looking around at the table, I said, "Do you need any help setting up anything?"

Nat was already ushering me to the living room. "Don't worry about that. I'm pretty much done. Food is almost ready and Clint will be arriving soon."

"If you're sure..."

She smiled endearingly. "I'm sure, Y/N."

Yelena joined me in the living room soon enough, whilst Nat faffed about with the last few things to do, and we had a nice catch up whilst drinking some fancy cocktails she'd made for everyone. Eventually, a knock was heard and Clint had arrived.

"I got it," Nat called, already going to the door.

Yelena and I stood up, and I suddenly grew nervous, flattening my hands down my clothes subconsciously.

"Have you met him?" I asked quietly to Yelena, who I noticed also looked a little nervous.

"Once, yesterday," she answered as we heard Nat and Clint exchanging greetings in the hall. "He's nice enough."

I smiled awkwardly, panicking a little. "Very helpful, thanks."

She snickered before we both straightened up when Nat led Clint inside. I wasn't sure what I was expecting – probably a uniformed superhero holding a bow and arrow, since that was his thing – but he simply rolled up in casual dinner attire and a small smile on his face.

"Yelena, you already know Clint," Nat began the introductions.

"Barton," Yelena said with a nod and smile.

"Belova," he returned, just as awkwardly.

"This is Y/N, who I told you about," Nat said, motioning to me as she spoke to Clint, before looking to me with calming eyes. "Y/N, this is Clint."

He offered out his hand and nodded towards me. "Nice to finally meet you, Y/N."

I returned his handshake, noticing the strength in a simple grip. "You, too, Clint. It's great to meet some more of Nat's Avenger family."

He snorted as he pulled away. "Is that what she calls us?"

"Shut up...," Nat mumbled as she busied herself with getting Clint a drink.

"Not exactly, but it's what you are, isn't it?" I said jokingly.

He shrugged, accepting the beer from Nat. "I guess."

Not much of a talker, I noted.

As we all took a seat on the couch and chairs, Nat warmed up the conversation between us all, filling the gaps when nobody knew what to say and making us all feel comfortable with one another. It was the most I'd seen her try, not in a bad way, but she usually had such a cool, collected manner that this was foreign to witness. But it made me realise how much she wanted this all to work between us, for whatever reason, so naturally I did, too.

Clint was a pretty laid back guy and gave off peak dad energy, so it wasn't hard to talk to him. I did feel like, at the start, he was weighing me up and deciding whether I was friend or foe, probably a natural reaction of an Avenger. Plus he'd known Nat the longest, so no doubt he was cautious of who she kept in her life.

He must have approved soon enough, since he loosened up and lost the curious stare as time went on. Yelena and Nat left at one point, going to check on the food, and I was left alone with Clint.

"She talked very highly of you, you know," he said in a low voice. "I can see why."

I took that as a compliment and scratched the back of my neck awkwardly. "Thanks, I think."

He smiled with amusement, reading my mind. "It's a compliment."

"Right..." I crossed my legs and returned his smile. "Well, she did the same of you. After all, you're the person who set her free."

"I wouldn't say that..."

I lost my smile as I looked to him seriously, gratefully. "Thank you for doing that, Clint. For getting her out when you did."

He shook his head, eyes avoiding mine out of embarrassment – he wasn't one for compliments himself. "I was just doing my job."

"Still."

He pressed his lips together thoughtfully, before glancing at me with apologetic eyes. "I'm sorry I couldn't get everyone else out sooner. You, included."

I shook my head, not even thinking about that. That wasn't what I meant at all. "You don't need to apologise. None of that was your responsibility. I'm just– I'm glad Nat had someone looking out for her when I couldn't anymore. Not that she ever needed it."

He chuckled quietly in agreement. "You're not wrong there. She's always been fine on her own."

"Dinner is served!" Yelena called from the kitchen, and I exchanged smiles with Clint as the two of us stood up.

We approached the table and saw a lovely spread of roasted vegetables, roasted lamb, mashed potatoes and gravy.

"Bon appetite," Yelena said, before motioning for us to sit down. "This was a joint effort."

"I did most of the work," Nat mumbled as she pulled up a seat beside me.

I held back a laugh as I took my seat, opposite Clint and Yelena. "It looks great, both of you. Thank you for going through all this effort for us."

"I second that," Clint agreed, looking between both sisters with a smile. "Can't wait to try it."

Nat did the honours of serving everyone's food and we all dug in. It was delicious to say the least, and the first time I'd ever tried Nat's cooking. She must have had more time for it over the years than I'd imagined.

The dinner went well, quite nicely actually, and it felt great to be able to enjoy conversation about the randomest of things whilst having some good food and drinks. Being nervous to meet Clint felt so silly now. I should have anticipated my nervousness to see Nat again to be honest.

I tried not to think about how her arm would brush mine whenever she'd take a bite of her food, or the tug in my stomach whenever she laughed quietly to herself at something someone said, or the way her eyes intensely met mine whenever I spoke. I tried not to think about any of it, but God it was hard. I'd like to think it was because I hadn't seen her in a while, but I knew it wasn't that.

It was never that.

By the time we finished eating and were simply lost in talking, the conversation moved onto the likes of the Avengers and the atmosphere changed slightly.

"They don't track my whereabouts, hence why I'm able to see you," Clint was saying in response to Nat's question about how he managed to get away from the government's prying eyes. "In all honesty, I think they think we hate each other. You know, since you tried to kick my ass."

Nat smirked. "I don't think you're remembering that correctly. I'm pretty sure I did kick your ass."

"Debatable."

Nat rolled her eyes before losing her smile. "What about the others? You been in touch?"

"I haven't spoken to anyone since... yeah," Clint answered with a sigh, looking to Nat. "Stark checks in every now and then. Sometimes asks about you."

Nat had her arms crossed over her chest, nodding slightly as she was listening. But she didn't say anything.

"Would you all ever reunite?" I asked curiously, looking to Clint since he was more likely to answer. "You know, get the band back together, that sort of thing?"

Clint shrugged, a humourless smile on his face. "Half the band is on the run, so... I don't know."

"Maybe if everything blew over," Nat finally spoke, and everyone looked her way; she was still staring at her empty dinner plate. "For now, probably not."

I still didn't entirely understand the whole Avengers thing. It was important to Natalia though, clearly, so I tried to be as supportive as I could.

"I'm sure it will," I said gently, offering her a small smile when she glanced up.

Sensing the shift in mood, she sat up straight in her seat and uncrossed her arms. "Never mind that." Her eyes fell to Clint. "Barton. How is the family? Laura? The kids?"

Clint automatically smiled at the mention of his family. "They're doing good, yeah. Miss their Auntie Nat."

Nat closed her eyes briefly, a smile on her lips. "I miss them, too. Maybe I can visit soon."

"I'm sure they'd love that," Clint said.

"Okay, but is she actually a good auntie?" Yelena asked between sips of her drink, glancing at Clint beside her. "I really can't imagine it."

Nat rolled her eyes as Clint chuckled.

"Surprisingly, yes," he answered honestly. "She's a natural with the kids. You wouldn't think she'd be built for the homestead life, but she makes it work."

"Okay, you, stop telling them my life story," Nat settled, pointing to Clint, before glaring at her laughing sister, "and you, shut up." 

"What? I'm only saying it how it is!" Clint defended innocently as Yelena covered her mouth to stop laughing. "You're good at the traditional family thing, Romanoff. You ever think you're gonna take the plunge? Settle down?"

Nat rolled her eyes, though a humoured smirk was on her lips. "Me? Settle down? Who's going to want to settle down with a fugitive?"

Yelena, who had stopped laughing but was very close to starting up again, exchanged a knowing look with her sister. "I can think of some people."

Nat must have kicked her under the table since Yelena jumped, laughing all over again as Nat glared at her. I furrowed my eyebrows, wondering who those people were. The thought of someone settling down with Natalia, her being with someone... it made me feel sick. Jealous.

"I'm not sure," she answered Clint's initial question, looking to him. "I try not to think about it to be honest..."

I frowned to myself, looking down at my empty dinner plate. Being aware of how I was feeling was something I'd been working on the past year, and right now, I knew I didn't like the idea of Nat being with another person. Having a life with someone, being romantically involved with someone.

Someone that wasn't me.

"Sorry, I need to use the bathroom," I said suddenly, feeling uncomfortable the longer I sat there.

I ignored everyone's confused looks as I pushed my chair back and headed for the bathroom, needing a minute to clear my head and reign back my jealousy. It was so stupid to be jealous at a possible future Nat may or may not have. I had no right to be, but I couldn't help it.

Closing the door behind me once I reached the bathroom, I leaned against the sink and closed my eyes to release a deep breath. Maybe my feelings towards Nat were stronger than I'd realised...

I opened my eyes, startled, when I heard the door open.

"You–" I exhaled slowly, getting over my temporary fright. "You shouldn't be here."

Nat tilted her head like it was obvious, then closed the door behind her carefully. "How else was I going to make sure you were okay?" she asked, and for a split second, I saw the young blue-haired girl who had come to check on me back in the Red Room for the first time.

I licked my lips, chewing on the bottom one as I watched her quirk a brow with mild concern.

"Are you?" she asked softly.

It was always circles with her. I never knew where I stood, but then again, I never had. She'd always kept me close enough to want her, but far enough to never get her. Not unless she wanted to make the move. After all, what the golden child wants, the golden child gets.

For once, why couldn't I get what I wanted?

"Y/N–"

I stupidly took a leap of faith and stepped forward, pressing my lips to hers. My hand rested on her neck and I relaxed at the taste of peppermint, a taste I'd almost forgotten when it came to her. She seemed surprised, but then her hands rested on my waist and she squeezed gently, kissing me back.

When lack of oxygen became a problem, we reluctantly disconnected lips and I opened my eyes to be immediately submerged in seas of green. She was too close to make out any specific details, but I noticed the shade of pink dusting her cheeks and it warmed my heart, knowing I still had that effect on her.

"Sorry," I said breathlessly, but I don't think I was.

She shook her head. "I'm not."

I swallowed hard, my eyes drifting to her lips. Red lipstick was smudged slightly and I had no doubts where the remnants were. My hand moved up her neck, to her jaw, and my thumb traced the outline of her lips tenderly, just like I'd once done before. Same shape, same taste, same girl.

"I don't want you to settle down with someone," I admitted quietly, eyes rising to meet hers. "I want you. It's always been you, Natalia."

"There's nothing stopping either of us now," she said, eyes flickering between mine.

Had she wondered, too? What it could have been like if we'd gotten the future we'd dreamt up?

"Isn't there?" I asked, a small part of me expecting something to get in the way like it always had.

Her lips curved into a small smile that left me weak in the knees. "Not that I can think of."

She was right. And yet, I still worried.

"There's no rush," she assured me, sensing my reservations. "Only if you want to."

She didn't need to be explicit with her words, I knew she meant us. And I was still half in awe, wondering how I was lucky enough that she still wanted this after so long.

"Want to what?" I asked anyway, needing to hear her say it. "Actually be with you? After all this time? Isn't that crazy?"

Her thumb rubbed gently on my waist. "I don't think it is."

My heart was racing, thumping so loudly I prayed she couldn't hear it.

"Guys, are you coming back?!" Yelena called from inside, breaking our bubble momentarily. "We have dessert!"

After all this time, being with Natalia didn't seem like such an impossible thing anymore. And though I was terrified of what it could mean, I was learning to choose what I wanted and nobody else. And I wanted this.

"I don't think it is either," I muttered, swallowing down my nerves before kissing her once more.

"Guys!" Yelena called once more, and we had to break apart before she would decide to come and see what was happening for herself.

Nat tried not to laugh as we stepped back, then she raised her hand and swiped her thumb across my lips, it coming back with red lipstick.

"That's better," she said with sparkling eyes. "You should go in. I'll sort out my own lipstick and see you there."

I nodded, feeling like I was on cloud nine when she flashed me another smile. Heading back inside, I returned to my seat just in time for Yelena to set a chocolate cake in the centre of the table.

"Everything alright?" Clint asked with a quirked brow.

Trying very hard not to break out into a smile, I nodded. "Yeah. Just felt sick, but all good now. Nat is just washing her hands."

He nodded, seeming to believe me, and paid his attention back to Yelena as she served up a slice for everyone. Nat returned when Yelena had finished, and looked around.

"Sorry about that," she apologised with a smile. "What did I miss?"

Yelena pointed to the cake with her fork. "Cake."

"Chocolate," Clint added, making Nat roll her eyes playfully.

"It looks great, thank you," I said to Yelena gratefully, before glancing at Nat beside me. "Both of you."

Nat held my gaze a second longer than she should have, but enough to make me forget what I saying.

"Dig in!" Yelena ordered, and only then did I sigh upon realising the effect Nat still had on me.

She winked playfully, a teasing smirk on her lips, before digging into her food. I dug into my own, but not before feeling Nat's hand slip into mine under the table. She gave it a comforting squeeze and I realised, as I glanced around, that this was all I'd ever wanted. Enjoying a dinner with people I cared about, doing such a normal person thing and enjoying the evening.

Every bit of this moment was perfect, everything I'd fantasised about, including the stunning redhead sat beside me.

I'd finally fulfilled my dream. Completely.

————————

I was enjoying a lovely lie-in the morning after, sleeping off my exhaustion from the previous day, when a knock on my hotel door woke me up abruptly. I sat up at the noise, blinking as if there was an emergency.

Then I realised where I was, what was going on (kind of), and that someone was still knocking on the door. Who could that be? I was trying to–

Shit, it was Nat.

Still half asleep, I could vaguely remember what happened last night after Clint left. I'd helped Yelena and Nat clear up before Nat said she wanted to see me tomorrow morning, as in today, and I'd agreed. Though I'd definitely forgot to set an alarm and now I had to see her looking like shit. Great.

Trying to look slightly more presentable in the mirror and questioning why I had suddenly become that girl, I rushed over to answer the door, hoping I looked less tired.

"Hey," I said when I opened the door, seeing the beautiful smile on her face and the two cups of coffee in her hands.

"Good morning," she said, eyes looking me up and down before her smile turned into an amused smirk. "You totally forgot I was coming, didn't you?"

I scrunched my face up, giving in. "Maybe."

She chuckled as I stepped to the side to let her in. "Of course. Well, I brought you a coffee anyway. I assumed you were ready, but I'm happy to wait around. Thought we could go out for breakfast if you want?"

"Thank you," I said, closing the door and turning around to see her stifling a smile. "And I'd like that, yeah. I just need to..." I glanced down at my joggers and tee shirt. "Get ready."

"Take your time," she said, sitting on the couch and setting both coffees down.

"Is Yelena okay not being invited?" I asked, hoping it wouldn't bother her.

"Yeah, she's okay with it. She's happy for us to spend the day together."

I quirked a brow. "The day?"

Nat cleared her throat, avoiding my eyes with embarrassment. "I mean, if you want to obviously."

Smiling now, I took advantage of the upper hand. "Hmm, I'm not too sure. I kind of already had plans."

Knowing what I was doing, she shot me an unimpressed look. "You're really gonna do that when you've got a drool mark on your shirt?"

My eyes widened and I lost my smile, looking down to my shirt. I'd like to say she was kidding to annoy me, but there was indeed a small drool mark on my shirt. Covering it with both hands, I avoided her eyes.

"Don't look!" I exclaimed, before leaving to go and change asap.

I heard her laughter from the other room and was definitely awake now. She'd seen me look a mess many times – after all, we'd grown up together – but now that she liked me as more than a friend, I actually cared about how she saw me. And in my pyjamas with a stained shirt, eye buggers and messy hair wasn't the plan.

After spending some time getting ready and drinking off Nat's coffee to wake myself up some more, I was ready to go. It was risky with her being in New York, considering someone could recognise her as an Avenger which would get her found out, but she seemed to know the best ways to blend in and the best places to eat.

We ended up at a cute café that served some killer waffles and pancakes, and were sat at a corner booth away from prying eyes after ordering our breakfast.

She smiled at the waitress as she left with our order and I leaned back, watching her with a small smile. Would there ever be a time when she didn't look so mesmerising? It wasn't a regular beauty that you saw in magazines or on runways, it was a different kind. I just hadn't pinpointed it yet, even after all this time.

"So," I started, making her eyes flicker to mine across the table, "what happens now?"

We hadn't spoken much of what we were since last night, as there had always been something in the way and this was the first time we'd truly been alone. She seemed to know what I was referring to and, thankfully, didn't play dumb.

"Well, I was hoping that I could spend the week with you," she said in her sultry deep voice that always made me nervous.

"Obviously," I said, luckily without stuttering. That was my plan anyway, whether I'd kissed her or not.

"This can be whatever we want it to be," she continued, before motioning to me with her hand as she spoke, "but you're free to make your own choices and it's up to you what you want."

I didn't look away as I said, "I meant it when I said it's always been you, Nat."

At this, she pressed her lips together as she looked across at me, eyes softening. Her hand rested on the table between us, palm facing the ceiling, and I rested my hand in hers, squeezing it gently. We didn't let go.

"I really missed you when I left," she said faintly. "It's always been you, too, Y/N. I'm sorry I never showed you that."

My insides felt like they were melting at her words, both out of being touched by her statement and feeling bad that I'd made her feel bad for not showing it.

"You don't need to apologise," I assured her, thumb rubbing her skin gently. "It was a lot, all of it. Everything we went through... you didn't owe me a thing."

She grimaced slightly, as if disagreeing, but then said, "We don't have to talk about any of this now. I just want to spend time with you this week. Do everything we could have done together. Without having to be secretive. Without worrying about getting in trouble. Just us. Just like it used to be."

And as she watched me with determined eyes, jaw set firmly, lips pursed, I realised something. Startlingly beautiful, that's what she was.

"Just us," I repeated in agreement, before smiling. "I'd like that."

She mirrored my expression and my heart fluttered in my chest. This week was only all I'd been waiting for all my life.

[widow-maximov]

Little Notes

Pairing: Yelena x Reader

Warning: The usual tags I don’t really know what other tags would go here, just enjoy :3

Summary: Being an Avenger didn't mean being discreet was your good skill, but being romantic definitely was... Or so you thought.

Word count: 5.6k

Requested idea: "Y/n likes Yelena and always leave cute notes on Yelena's things. Y/n thought that she's being secretive but Yelena knows that it's Y/n all along, so Yelena decided to catch Y/n in the act and Y/n has no other choice but to say that she likes Yelena all along and Yelena also likes Y/n."

A/n: After a break for some time, I was debating whether I should post it or not, last time I did a Yelena fic I was told she was ace which I respect but I would also like the respect back as this is a fan fic and I just write what people like to see. Thank you

My requests are open for the next week or so, so feel more than welcome to pop in a suggestion for the next story :3

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It started out by just being nice to Yelena and within couple of weeks, you had feelings that usually you would never give a second thought, so you dismissed it, it wasn't suppose to be that hard but seeing Yelena only worsen your feelings.

Even since Natasha brought her sister back, everyone has been around the younger blonde but you, you didn't want to bother her she was new to this whole saving the world thing.

You kept your distance but it didn't mean your feelings stopped. Little things like her laughing so loudly or swearing in Russian made her more lovable in your eyes.

She was always more to herself than anyone around the compound other than Nat because she was her sister obviously, but there was always a part of you that wanted to know everything about Yelena.

Ever since she joined her style changed so much, she was more free and happier which only brought joy to your heart, as today was a more calming day, you were in the kitchen leaning against the counter as you stared out into the living room where Yelena was.

Carol walked into the kitchen as she stopped in her tracks at the sight of you being so in love "You good Y/n?"

You nodded as you looked at her "Yeah I was just seeing what these guys are doing"

She looked over to where you were looking and it was Yelena with Natasha and Clint, they were completing in winning on a video game, Carol smirked.

"Is that so?" She asked trying to act dumb.

You nodded as your eyes travelled to Yelena, it was like an instant which was noticeable but you thought otherwise, Carol smirked "Or are you checking out Yelena?"

Instant blush was on your face as your face whipped to look at her "How-"

Before you could ask, she answered "You're easy to read when it comes to liking people"

You closed your mouth and sank into your chair if that was even possible, Carol laughed "Relax kid, I won't say anything but if you want her to notice you, you have to do something instead of just staring at her, she will end up thinking you're weird"

You groaned as you placed your head on the counter in front of you "I am useless when it comes to this stuff"

Carol walked over as she placed her hand on your back to comfort you "So I have noticed"

Unbeknownst to you, Yelena was staring at you and Carol, her brow raised but her attention was pulled away from you when Natasha screamed in victory.

You looked up and you could see Clint's shoulders lower in embarrassment that he couldn't even beat Natasha in a video game, Yelena sneakered which brought a smile to your lips and suddenly a big idea popped in your head.

You stood up quickly as Carol took a step back "What you doing?"

"I know what to do now, thank you!" You placed your hands on her shoulders and pulled her in for a big hug.

She nodded slightly taken back hugged you back and just watched as you bolted out of the room, she shook her head and she looked over at the 3 that were still in the living room.

Natasha was celebrating by annoying Clint and Yelena was distracted as her eyes were on you walking out, instead of joining her older sister to mock Clint.

Carol smiled as she muttered under her breath "Two idiots, this can't get any worse"

You decided you wanted to be secretive and place anonymous notes in Yelena's room, but of course being discreet wasn't your best suit, every mission that contained stealth, you failed but that didn't mean you would fail this right?

You forgot that Yelena was Natasha's sister and that they both were professional spies so whatever you tried Yelena was 2 steps ahead of you, but you just didn't know.

The first time you placed a note in Yelena's room was when she came back from the mission that wasn't really that long, she was suppose to be gone for longer but they were brought back earlier so you didn't have the time to get away in time.

You placed the note on the desk with a little hourglass shaped mental symbol as your way of signature so it was hard to know it was you, you heard footsteps approaching Yelena's room as you stood by her desk, pretty much proud of your idea.

You turned and saw a shadow that was getting closer to the door, you panicked and hid in the closet, hoping and praying that Yelena doesn't open it for something.

She walked in as she threw her back next to her bed and took a big inhale of air, you always knew how tiring those missions were so you understood her exhaustion.

She looked in the mirror and walked out for a moment which was your chance to leg it, you quietly closed the closet door and rushed out of her room but luck just wasn't really on your side, you immediately bumped into her.

"Y/n?" She asked with her accent which just melted the ground underneath you.

"T-that's me!" You smiled shyly at her as you took a step back.

"Are you okay?" She asked as her brows frowned for a moment as she looked for any injuries that she could've caused by just bumping into you.

"Sure am!" You replied quite too loudly, you were mixed with slight anxiety and awkwardness.

Her frowned disappeared as it turned into a smile when her eyes met yours "Well that's good, are you heading to the living room?"

You nodded this time, trying to act cool so she don't think you're weird "Great, I will see you there then"

You nodded and as she walked towards her room and disappeared, you let out a breath that you didn't even know you held, it was rare that you and her interacted but when yous did, your heart could never stop beating so fast.

You arrived in the living room which didn't hold that many people there, you sighed as you walked over to your usual spot and plopped yourself down on the couch.

Carol was one of those people "So Y/n how is that thing going?"

She asked as Wanda's attention was now on you, before you could answer her question, Yelena walks in with a confused expression across her face.

"Guys, has someone placed this in the wrong room or something?" She asked as she raised her hand with the piece of paper, in that second your heart sank, you didn't think she was going to bring it here.

Carol smirked slightly before turning to face the Russian blonde, placing a fake concerned expression "Oh no, what does it say?"

Yelena completely missing the smirk, she opened the paper and read it out loud "There's treachery in her hips, rebellion in her heart & magic in her mind."

Carol tried her best to keep in her laugh and continued to egg Yelena on "Wow, that sounds really romantic"

Yelena folded the paper and sighed "I have no words"

You sat there silently, no wanting to make yourself known because you knew you would give yourself away but of course Carol must've hated you.

Carol turned to you as she smiled "Y/n, what do you think?"

You gulped as you looked at Carol first and then at Yelena "It's short and sweet, sounds like that person must like you"

Yelena laughed "Y/n Y/l/n you are funny! I need to hang around with you more often"

This wasn't the reaction you expected, so you looked away with a slight nod and then excused yourself after Yelena seemed way more distracted by the conversation she was having with one of the boys that walked in.

Second time was on the younger blondes birthday, she was always excited to see new things and you figured she never really celebrated birthdays.

You made sure to plan everything and have the team help out, what seems so innocent and pure to the team, wasn't to Natasha, she knew when there was going on.

As Yelena was out with Carol for some clothes shopping, you and the team got this party ready, you made each stand be some place different with different foods, you thought that if shes stuck being an avenger and can't travel like she always wanted you would bring the places to her.

It was her birthday after all, it was something you wanted her to remember and you hoped you could sneak your next note with a present that you prepared for her.

As everything went well with the plan, Natasha approached you "So you're the secret admirer"

Your eyes widen slightly but you cleared your throat "Secret admirer?"

She tilted her head "I know it's you"

You shook your head "It's not"

She leaned side ways as she looked behind you "Then what is that box?"

"It's a present.." You looked at the box briefly.

"Well from who?" She asked as she crossed her arms.

"From... Wanda..?" You tried to sound as convincing as possible.

"Wanda haven't bought her present out here and it's definitely not in a box" The redhead raised her brows at you.

You signed "Fine, it's from me"

"But didn't you already place your present in the safe place?" She asked slightly confused.

"It's the second present for her"

Natasha smirked "Ah, the secret admirer present"

You nodded a little embarrassed "Don't tell her.. please"

Natasha dropped her arms "I won't, it's definitely fun to watch rather than get involved in this"

You left out a breath with relief but she continued before you could "If anything I'm happy that you're the person that likes her, you seem to care about her and that's all I want for my little sister"

She looked around "I mean look around, you managed to prepare the most amazing birthday for her and that's what counts so even if those lame notes don't work, it's your actions that she will notice, don't give up on her Y/n/n"

You smiled at her words and nodded "I wasn't going to give up on her, not in the long run"

"Well good, because if you hurt my sister I will kill you" Her facial expression changed really quickly.

You raised your brows at her "And what if she hurts me? Are you gonna kill her too?"

"You're not my sister but maybe, I will see what kind of mood I am in" She teased with a small smirk at your offended expression.

"Whatever, get lost I need to finish this and change before they come back" You turned your back to Natasha with a small smile.

She rolled her eyes playfully "They will be here soon so hurry up"

It didn't take long for you to prepare yourself for this party, everyone and everything was ready, you just needed to come down there and personally take Yelena up to the big event room.

You cleaned yourself up really quickly and processed your way out, looking hella good and just silently praying that everything will be just as you planned.

You walked out to the lobby where Yelena was standing, looking stunning and looking quite confused to why she was dressed up and standing out in the lobby.

"Y/n.. Wow, you look amazing" She spat out as she eyed you.

You were too busy blushing at her compliment to realise that she was checking you out "Please, have you looked at yourself?"

She chuckled "Thank you" You smiled at her and she continued "Do you know what is happening?"

"Hmm" You placed your index finger on your chin as you pretended you didn't "No clue"

She rolled her eyes playfully as she hit your arm "You so do"

Causing a laugh to escape your lips "Just follow me"

You took her hand and led her towards the elevators, you were nervous but tried to now show it, so you kept up a conversation with the younger blonde.

As yous arrived, you let her go and allowed her to go in first, everything was dark, expect some small lights.

She was confused as she looked back at you and before she could say anything, lights amongst with the team popped out and screamed happy birthday.

Slightly scaring the Russian but she hid it well, it was overwhelming at last but as everyone rushed over and you were forgotten that you stood there.

You were happy though, nothing could ruin the happiness you felt at the sight of her being so happy and surrounded by the people who learnt to accept her.

The birthday went just like you wanted it to go, she was excited to just do what she always wanted to do along with the people she slowly called family.

As excitement slowly died down, it was time for presents, Natasha was the one to hand them out and of course she started out with your one.

She looked your way as she smirked "Oh would you look at that, this one doesn't have a name on it"

Yelena frowned "Who forgot to put their name on it"

"Dear sister, I think that was done purposefully" Natasha spoke up as she handed Yelena the black and white present.

It wasn't anything big, it was a gift card with a note attached to it, she opened it as she stared at the note for a second before reading it out loud "If I had a flower for every time I thought of you...I could walk through my garden forever."

Wanda hummed "Sounds very cute" She looked over at Natasha "Why don't you do stuff like this for me?"

You wanted to laugh but that would give away your secret so you looked down as you smiled, Natasha tried her best to not trigger her girlfriend so she promised a lifetime of romantic which seemed to satisfy the Sokovian.

"I must admit that one is cute" Yelena smiled as she folded the paper back and placed it in her bra to not lose it as she didn't have pockets.

Your eyes were glued to her, you couldn't take your eyes off her which caused an evil smirk to appear on Carol's face but before she could make a comment to embarrass you.

Vision spoke up with a quite confused expression "Wait, Natasha is dating Wanda?"

You looked over at Natasha as you laughed this time, Wanda sighed "We spoke about this Vision, Natasha is my wife of course we are dating"

Whilst engrossed in their conversation, Yelena looked over at you and if someone paid attention they could swear she was feeling something for you just by the look she was giving you.

The third note that Yelena had received was on Christmas, well more like the day before Christmas as you couldn't be there for the day itself.

A big mission was happening and you had to take over a crappy agent that didn't know how to do their job properly.

Everyone was getting ready for the big day, but you walked in with a slightly sad face, the first person to notice was Yelena herself "What's wrong Y/n?"

Your eyes met hers and it was as if you suddenly forgot your words but you managed to speak "I- I won't be here for Christmas"

Yelena pouted along with the witch which spoke up instead of the blonde "Why?!"

You fell into the chair and sunk right into it as to express your mood "Some stupid agent doesn't know how to do their mission so now I have to go and fill their spot"

Bucky who was sipping his beer "I swear how do these people even end up being in charge, they obviously can't handle it"

Sam rolled his eyes "Please what are you talking about? Once when you were in charge you literally begged Steve to take over because you didn't want to mess it up"

Steve nodded eagerly to agree with Sam "He is right, I never seen tears in Bucky's eyes before"

Carol walked over as she took a seat on your lap "That's a shame, I can't bully you when you aren't here"

You rolled your eyes "You need a different hobby"

She smiled as she placed some of your fallen hair behind your ear "I'm good, bullying you seems more fun"

As you were busy with Carol, you failed to notice Yelena staring at yous, there was slight jealousy pinging in her chest but she ignored it as she cleared her throat.

"So when are you going Y/n/n?" The Russian blonde asked as she kept her gaze on you.

You looked over "Tonight, like in an hour so I should probably get going"

Carol stood up and helped you get up as you parted to get ready after saying your goodbyes, just as you walked past Yelena's room, you popped the note you wrote earlier and quickly looked around before heading to your room.

Just as you walked in and closed the door, there was a knock on the door, you opened it as there stood Yelena with a small smile "Hope I'm not disturbing you yet"

You shook your head, slightly shocked she's here "No, not at all, I just walked in"

She smiled widely "That's good"

"Well I just wanted to give you this, I was going to do it over Christmas but you won't be here" She looked down at her present as she handed it to you.

You were taken back to say the least, you didn't expect her to get you anything, it was a small box but you took it with a smile after coming back to your senses.

"Thank you, but you didn't have to" You looked up from the present, staring back at the Russian.

She shrugged "Well I wanted to so I hope you'll like it"

You opened it in front of her to not keep her waiting, revealing a neckless, you never really wore any jewellery, it had your symbol and hers engraved.

"I definitely do like it, I never really get anything for these stuff so thank you" You held the neckless in your hand as you looked up at her.

She had a genuine smile across her lips "I hope it keeps you safe during the mission"

Before you could reply, she walked closer, tip topped and placed a gentle kiss on your cheek, causing a blush to show up across your cheeks.

Your eyes went wide and your heart sped up at the touch but you tried to keep it together in front of her, she moved away trying to hide her own blush but you seemed to just not notice.

"Do you want me to put it on you?" She asked as she pointed to the neckless.

You nodded and just placed it gently in her hand, not wanting to say anything in case of stuttering, you turned away from her and moved your hair.

She gently placed it and hooked it into the little circle, it was a second of doubt if she should lean into your back and place a soft kiss on your neck but your quick movement to face her again caught her off guard.

"Thank you Lena.. I really appreciate it" It felt like the world has stopped whenever you were this close to her.

She nodded "Of course.. Well I will get going, I don't want you to be late"

You nodded and agreed letting her walk off, before you closed your door and let out a very loud squeal against your pillow, today could not be ruined for you.

As you got ready and walked out of you room with a bag, you walked past the younger blondes room, her door was opened, you forgot to give her the present when you saw her, so you placed it on the corner as you stood by the door and listened to her sing.

It was only for a moment or so you thought, just as you were about to go, you heard her read out your note "You are, and always have been, my dream."

You stopped in your tracks as a smile grew on your lips and you heard her say "You always manage to put a smile on my face, thank you"

You didn't want her to catch you so you walked on as you were screaming inside your head, you jumped up a couple of times from the happiness.

But she saw, that was all she needed to confirm that it was you who placed those notes, she smiled widely as she looked down and noticed a present.

This time there was a note attached with your name, she picked it up and quickly scanned the note, placing it to her chest as she bit her lip, you were definitely the cutest person alive.

Fourth time, oblivious as always to the fact that Yelena knew, you thought you were being discreet but you weren't, forgetting completely that Yelena was a spy so she would eventually find out.

Today was training day, whilst others trained hard, you managed to get out of it and welcome the new agents that joined Shield, you have been so busy lately with other planning that you had almost forgotten to place your note for Yelena.

As you showed the kids around the compound, the last thing was the training room where currently Yelena was, always seeing her made you smile widely to yourself.

Recently, yous hanged out more than normal, you didn't mind but Yelena hopped you would get the hint that she liked you or at least started to.

She always took a spot next to you, cuddled into you whenever a movie was involved, you just went with it because dream come true for you.

She knocked the guy out of his feet and looked over at the door which opened to reveal you and bunch of kids, she smiled and waved at you to which you waved back with a wide smile.

"Is that the Black Widow's sister?" One of the kids asked with amusement in their voice.

You looked away from Yelena and at the kid "Yeah, that's Yelena, best assassin, well second to Natasha"

"Who is second to Natasha? Definitely not me, we are both very talented" Yelena appeared in front of yous without you even noticing.

You jumped a little at her sudden appearance but smile nevertheless "Ah of course, but don't let Natasha hear that otherwise I am dead"

She laughed "Y/n/n you were always my favourite"

You blushed and laughed with her, looking down to hide it but not doing it very well, the blonde answered some questions from the kids and it was time to get going.

You looked at your watch and back at the kids "Well it's time to get back to Shield, yous were lucky to meet one of the Avengers, we are usually very busy and maybe in the future you will be able to join our team if you are good"

Some of the kids had very big smiles at the thought of that, some had serious faces and some just didn't really pay attention but that's their own issue.

You looked back at Yelena to which she was already staring at you "You are good with kids"

There was that blush, Yelena loved seeing it and it was only getting cuter, you chuckled "Thank you"

"Well yous better get going, I will see you around Y/n/n" She looked at you once more before turning away and winking when she looked back.

You smiled at her and tried to not explode from happiness, you managed to sneakily place the note near the door, it was visible to her if she looked up and quickly walked out with the kids following.

She looked back again and saw the note, smirking to herself before once again kicking the guy down and taking her stuff along with the note.

Every note you left, she kept and read over and over again whenever she was down, today the note was a lot more cheerful than usual but that didn't mean she didn't reread it a couple of times.

Day that was filled with missions was your fifth time you left a note for the woman you had fell in love with.

As she was away for the missions, you were in the compound, there was nothing to do as most of the team was out saving the others asses so you just sat alone watching some sad pathetic movies to keep you entertained.

Your mission was tonight, so you had some time before that and that's when an idea popped into your head.

You ran to your room, scribbled something on a paper, and took it to the kitchen, you prepared the food and placed it inside the fridge with the paper.

You stared at it and smiled, it was mac and cheese for Yelena, spending enough time with her to know that it was her favourite food and she could eat it everyday if she could.

You closed the fridge and went back to your room, took your stuff and popped into the Russians room, placed another note and you was off to your mission.

Yelena missed you by literally couple minutes, she walked into her room to a note and a very clean room, she smiled as she knew you placed it here.

She placed her stuff and opened the note, thinking it will be something cute again but this time it was different "A way to someone's heart is through their stomach"

She frowned as she reread this over and over, not understanding the meaning of it, she flipped the paper but there was nothing else there, she couldn't have messaged you because that would give away that she knows.

She wasn't the best at riddles so she took this note and walked to Natasha, who was in the kitchen "Hey Nat"

She looked up at her sister as she stood next to the fridge about to open it "What's up?"

"Do you have any idea what this means?" She asked as she handed the note over to the redhead.

Natasha read the paper and shrugged "Not really, where did you find it?"

"In my room" The blonde answered.

Instantly Natasha smirked "Oh, maybe they want to eat you ou-"

Before she could finish it, Yelena stopped her "No! Don't finish that sentence"

The redhead laughed as she turned to the fridge and opened it, only to see a plate with a note on it "I think I know what it meant"

The blonde looked up with hopefulness "What?"

Natasha motioned for her to come over which she did and saw a plate with mac and cheese and a note with it, her mouth almost dropped at the sight as she rushed to take it out.

"FOOD! A way to someone's heart is food!" She screamed as she placed the plate in the microwave and opened the note.

"Can you shout any louder" Natasha squinted her eye at her sisters screaming.

Yelena rolled her eyes "Shut up, as if you and Wanda don't scream so loud"

Natasha's mouth hanged open "Uh! Shut up!" She lightly pushed the blonde and quickly exited the room, forgetting about her hunger really quickly, causing the blonde to chuckle at her sister.

Yelena ate the food as she stare at the note with a loving stare, reading the lines that curved just right to know it was you, the person with a big heart, the person who she fell for.

Sixth time and the last as you got caught placing the note for Yelena, failing missions always was hard on the person who was leading it, and that was Yelena this time around.

She came back less cheerful than usual which you noticed instantly, your first reaction was to run up to her and just hug her but you refrained yourself from doing so.

You saw as she sulked into the living room with her head low as she greeted everyone, took something to eat and headed out pretty quickly.

Everyone noticed but no one wanted to intervene just yet, Natasha was going to do so but she knew you would beat her to it so she let it be until you and the blonde spoke.

You rushed out of the living room and went after the blonde, you knocked on her door and she was quick to open it, her eyes met yours quite quickly, trying to hide the tears that have fell from them.

You pushed into the room and hugged her instantly, it was never the reaction you would do but see her this upset, you just didn't have the control anymore.

She was more important than your feelings in this moment, she needed comfort and you were going to supply her with endless comfort that you could offer.

She smiled against your hug "Thank you"

You nodded and without any words, shifted to her bed, where she held onto you tightly so did you. It was like you would disappear and she would be alone again but you knew that wasn't going to happen.

For some reason, you knew you had to be strong so you held her and let her cry in your embrace before she was ready to talk. You were always going to be there for her.

That's one of many reasons why she fell for you, it was those lame notes even though for her it was everything you just didn't know and it was this constant support which she never had in the red room.

She was allowed to cry here without being punished and she could cry with you around which was something she would've never done with anyone else.

It meant something if she cried with you around and you knew that, but you never read into it, why would you? You never thought that Yelena would be even remotely into you.

As her sobs died down, she managed to tell you partly what happened and you never turned away from her, you held her hand as she took deep breaths, letting her know you were there and from time to time that worked.

Your presence was always calming which is why she loved being around you, she knew she never had to worry about anything and visa versa.

You smiled when she smiled, it was just a pure moment between yous which proved that yous belonged together, yous completed each other like a good puzzle.

Everything was perfect until you thought it was a good idea to place a note in her room, whilst she was here. As the day went on, you made sure she ate and was hydrated, she fell asleep quite quickly which is when you decided to leave and write the note.

You smiled at the finished product and walked into the room as you quietly placed the paper and turned back to walk out when you were stopped by the blonde herself.

You gulped, hoping she didn't see the note but she did "What are you doing Y/n/n?"

You turned to face her as you saw she was wiping her eyes to get rid of any sleep, you chuckled "Nothing, I was going to the living room to join the team and I didn't want to disturb you but I did now, silly me" you slapped your hand and wanted to quickly leave but she stopped you.

"So what is that note on my desk?" She asked as she pointed towards the paper.

You knew you were busted "A note..."

She got up and walked over to it as she took it in her hands and walked over to you which confused you slightly "Read it to me"

You frowned but didn't refuse her, you opened up the note and looked up at her once more with a small nervous smile before reading it out.

"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that's what you've given me. That's what I'd hope to give you forever"

A visible blush across her cheeks was there and this time you noticed, you folded the paper back and gulped at no words from her "I just wanted to-"

She placed her finger on your lips "No need to explain, I understood every single one of them"

You were nervous, you didn't know what to do but just kiss her, it was a impulse decision. When her finger dropped your mouth and the second she looked down at your lips, it was as if you didn't control your body.

You pulled her by her hips into you and collided your lips against hers, it was gentle, sweet but short when you realised what you have done, you pulled away.

"I'm sorry!" You began to apologise but she shook her head with a small smirk and pulled you back into another kiss.

She pulled away as she placed her forehead against yours "This no longer has to be a dream, its all ours to take"

A fresh blush across your face, a big cheesy smile, one that only lovers experience, and a small laugh with a nod "Forever ours"

━━━━━━━✦✗✦━━━━━━━━

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[wandaromanova]

Little Sister

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Warnings: one cuss word, minor BW spoilers

A/N: hello! i’d like to note that this takes place sometime before the events in the Black Widow movie! if you haven’t seen the movie yet, please skip over this story and come back later if you’d like! happy reading <3

anon requested: hiii i have a fluff request after seeing bw haha: could you do nat x fem reader where they're laying in bed snuggling, and r asks her about her family and nat tells her and r notices how cute she looks when she's talking about yelena and it's so soft and ahhhh

Summary: Natasha tells her girlfriend about a piece of her past that she never talks about; her sister.

Word Count: 2K

| masterlist | request rules/guidelines | wips |

please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work. reblogs, likes, and comments are always welcome. <3

Natasha Romanoff has lived a lot of lives. She has been through more than most.

Nat had been taken as an infant by an organization that trained little girls to become lethal assassins.

She was psychologically conditioned to become a killer, having taken more lives than she could count.

Eventually, Natasha had managed to break free from the cage she was forced into and was recruited as a S.H.I.E.L.D agent; it was a new start for her, an opportunity to compensate for the red in her ledger.

So, Natasha took her job seriously, saving as many people as she could, even more so when she became an Avenger; one of earth’s mightiest heroes.

Natasha found something in the team that she never really had before; a family. She found a home within the dysfunctional team she had been recruited into.

Not only did Natasha find a family within the Avengers; she also found the love of her life.

Natasha hadn’t even considered the possibility of ever finding love.

For starters, the Red Room had instilled the concept that love was nothing but a distraction; a liability.

She had been taught that love was for children and it was nothing but a weakness that needed to be avoided at all costs.

She was quite literally programmed to be emotionally closed off and to always have her guard up. Letting someone into her heart was a risk she didn’t want to take.

When Natasha gained her independence from the organization, she had to do a lot of self-discovering. She had never been able to be her own person, but now that she could, she quickly learned that she didn’t even know herself.

However, it was Natasha’s insecurities that truly turned her off from the entire idea of love.

How could any ever possibly love her? She thought she was a monster for the things she’d done. She has done the unspeakable since ever she was a child.

What if she wasn’t enough? What if her baggage was too much for someone else to carry? She didn’t want to be a burden. She didn’t want to have to protect someone, just to fail them like she had failed so many others.

Natasha was positive that no one would ever be crazy enough to love her.

Little did she know, she would end up finding someone crazy enough to do so; you.

•❅──────────────── ‎⧗ ────────────────❅•

When the Avengers were formed, you were extremely nervous about it.

All of the files that you’ve read on your new teammates were unbelievable; they were all phenomenal in their own rights. A super-soldier, a god, a genius, a trained-spy.

You were a spy yourself, so you knew exactly who Natasha Romanoff was. She was a S.H.I.E.L.D legend, the best of the best.

You were more nervous about meeting her than anyone else. What if she judged you? What if she didn’t think you were good enough to be an agent, let alone an Avenger?

Not only was she your superior, but she was also your crush. Yeah, you’d never even met the woman before, but you were crushing on her hard.

She was drop-dead gorgeous, but also quite literally a deadly force. Natasha could easily take down anyone she wanted to, and honestly, you wanted to be one of those lucky people.

When you met Natasha for the first time, you were a flustered mess. The redhead found it amusing, how your cheeks turned a bright shade of red and you stumbled over your words as you praised her work.

Natasha never told you this, but she was immediately smitten the moment she laid eyes on you.

There was a kindness and positivity that just radiated off of you and it was extremely contagious.

You were this beaming ball of light that lit up the darkest parts of her soul.

•❅──────────────── ‎⧗ ────────────────❅•

You got to know Natasha extremely well while being on the team. From observing her closely and paying very close attention to her actions, you had managed to pick up on little things.

She didn’t put any creamer or sugar in her sugar; opting for strong, black coffee.

She was kind of a clean freak. If she saw something out of place, she would be quick to put it in the correct place or position.

When she was happy, she would let a small smirk cross her features. When she was annoyed, she would raise her eyebrows.

When she was stressed out or angry, three little creases would appear on her forehead as her eyebrows would knit together tightly; a subtle frown on her face.

Of course, when you began dating the redhead, you didn’t really have to survey her so closely anymore because she’d tell you things herself.

No matter the circumstances, Natasha would always come to you and rant about it. Whether it was about how shitty a mission went or how she beat Clint’s ass during training; you were the only person she wanted to tell.

Natasha had opened up to you, something she never did with anyone. She told you all about her past.

•❅──────────────── ‎⧗ ────────────────❅•

You had some knowledge of Natasha’s previous life, considering it was in her files, but you didn’t realize just how horrible her childhood truly was.

The Red Room, the heavy weight of guilt that rests on her shoulders, the nightmares that forced her to relive the murders she committed, her time as a S.H.I.E.L.D agent, and becoming an Avenger.

She’d go on and on about her road to redemption or ‘clearing the red out of her ledger.’

Natasha was terrified when she told you about her demons. She figured you were going to leave her the second she finished talking, waiting for you to get up and walk out the door, but you didn’t.

So, you completely caught her off guard when you pulled her into a bone-crushing hug, placing a soft kiss onto her temple, the redhead relaxing in your embrace.

“You’re the strongest person I know. It’s not your fault, you were forced and conditioned to do the things you did.”

Natasha focused on the sound of your voice and took in your words as you softly caressed her red locks with one hand.

“Baby, the amount of respect I have for you is immeasurable. I applaud you for turning your life around for the better. I’m so fucking proud of you.”

Your words had brought tears to Natasha’s eyes, which was a rare occurrence.

She was expecting you to run for the hills, but you chose to pull her closer instead.

In that moment, Natasha knew she never had to be afraid of love again.

You were the most understanding and accepting person she’d ever met.

You would never judge her for her worst mistakes; Natasha had found the one for her and she wasn’t ever going to let go.

•❅──────────────── ‎⧗ ────────────────❅•

Now, a few months later and a year into your relationship with the Russian, you were both lying in bed and cuddling.

You were both watching a movie when a particular scene came on. It was of a family gathering around a Christmas tree, children excitedly opening up presents with gleeful smiles across their faces.

“You know, my sister and I got to take pictures with a Christmas tree once.” Natasha spoke, her eyes fixated on the screen.

You looked up at her in shock. You didn’t know that Natasha had a sister. She told you that she didn’t even so much as know her parent’s names.

Natasha looked down and noticed your confused expression. She reached for the remote on the bedside table and paused the movie before returning her gaze to you.

“There was a mission I was assigned to in Ohio, as a kid. I was assigned to play the daughter of two other Russian spies, Alexei and Melina. It wasn’t just me though, there was a little girl who was assigned as my younger sister. Her name is Yelena.”

Natasha had a reminiscent, happy smile on her face as she recalled the brief period time of her childhood. She looked absolutely adorable as she rambled on about this part of her childhood.

“We took photoshoots of various holidays to make our family look more realistic. My favorite one was Christmas. Even though I knew they were just empty boxes, I wanted to rip open every single one.”

Natasha let out a small giggle at the thought. Even though she had a smile on her face, you could feel and hear the underlying tone of sadness in her voice.

“Yelena and I would spend hours outside, just playing together. Swinging on the swing-sets, looking up at the stars, bending over backward, and getting into a ridiculous competition to see who could hold the position the longest… I always let her win.”

You could see the fondness in her eyes, the longing. It warmed your heart that there was a small glimmer of light in Natasha’s past. There was at least a sliver of hope that she clung tightly onto throughout her time in the Red Room.

“After 3 years, the mission ended. Yelena and I were sent back to the Red Room and were torn apart from one another.

Natasha’s breathing grew heavier as she recalled the unfaithful day. The sight of her sister being taken, and not being able to do anything to help her; still haunted the redhead to this day.

“There were so many men with guns and armor, they literally ripped us away from each other. I was eleven and she was only six.”

Your heart sunk at your girlfriend’s words as her smile dropped. She tore her eyes away from yours as she blinked rapidly, fighting back tears, but failed. You reached your hand up to her cheek and wiped away the fallen droplets.

“I haven’t seen her since. I’d like to think that she found a way out and got a life of her own; a nice, happy life.”

Natasha placed her hand on top of yours before looking down at you once more. You sent her a soft smile when she let out a shaky breath.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I knew that the it was all fake, but it was still the best part of my childhood. It was real to me.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

You nodded your head at her words. She took a brief pause, trying to regain her composure, before continuing.

“Even if we have no true relation to one another, and even if I haven’t seen her in years, she is still my little sister.”

Natasha finished off with a big gasp as sobs wracked her body. You sat up from her embrace and pulled her into your arms, just like you had many times before.

You rubbed her back soothingly as she cried into your shoulder, her tears hitting the exposed skin.

“She sounds amazing, baby. I’m really happy that you had some sort of happiness back then and I hope one day you get to see her again.”

You whispered and Natasha pulled away from the hug, still in your arms as her emerald eyes surrounded by a sea of red, a result of her crying.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I doubt she’d even want to see me. I didn’t even try to find her. I’m a horrible sister! I-“

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

You immediately pressed your lips against hers, effectively getting the Russian to calm down. You broke the kiss when her breathing slowed.

“Honey, of course, she’d want to see you again. Like you said, you guys are sisters. I’m positive that it was just as real to her as it was to you.”

You reassured your girlfriend, her eyes a pool of worry and guilt. You rubbed your thumb against her waist, the material of your her hoodie beneath your touch.

“From what you’ve told me about the Red Room, it would’ve been impossible to find her. Stop beating yourself up over it. You’re the best, and I’m totally not biased or anything.”

Natasha let out a small chuckle at that and you smiled at her, wiping away the last of her tears. She collapsed into your hold further, shoving her face into the crook of your neck.

“Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you. I love you so much.”

Natasha’s words came out muffled as her face pressed further into your skin.

“You never need to thank me for anything. I’ll always be here for you, Natty.”

You hugged her as tight as you possibly could, her cold skin meeting your warmth. Natasha let out a small sigh at the feeling.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Wherever you go, I go.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

───────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────────

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[thevibraniumveterans]

🏹 💜 HAWKEYE FINALE 💜🏹

=

“You showed me that being a hero isn’t just for people who can fly or shoot lasers out of their hands. It’s for anyone who’s brave enough to do what’s right, no matter the cost.”

- Kate Bishop || HAWKEYE Episode 6 • “So Is This Christmas?”

=

Couple of things:

1. I loved this episode so much.

2. There were definitely moments where it went in directions I did not expect it to, such as

Maya turning on Kazi, who was practically family as far as she was concerned. It was quite emotional because it hurt both of them to be at odds with each other. (Whether Kazi is dead or alive, I guess we’ll see.)

Maya turning on her uncle, the feared Kingpin himself. (Whether Kingpin is alive or dead, we’ll see too, because such an influential character coming back for exactly one episode before being KO’d doesn’t make much sense.)

Kate calling the cops on her mother, whom I only thought was suspicious

Jack Duquesne taking the good guys’ side when I thought he was being fishy as hell

3. And then there was the showdown between Yelena and Barton, which again, was very emotional in and of itself. Here you had two individuals, brought together by the loss of their loved one. Natasha Romanoff was a beloved sister to Yelena, and a beloved friend to Clint. It will be interesting to see where Yelena would be off to next, because I’m pretty sure her story doesn’t just end here. It’s also really nice to see Yelena get closure, because her whole mission was based off of Val’s lie that Clint killed Nat, which we know (and as Yelena comes to know) isn’t true. The one thing they agreed on was that Nat was a hero and that she saved the world, which she did. Yelena still has to deal with the loss of her dear sister, so I wonder how she’ll be doing that.

4. There were a few hilarious moments as well, including but not limited to shrinking the one of the Tracksuits’ vans using PymTech. That was hilarious. Also the owl was just the icing on that cake. So cute.

5. Apparently Laura Barton used to work for SHIELD?! Oddly enough, one of Marvel’s Instagram posts listed Thor (2011) as a movie to watch, and I’m still not sure why.

6. I still don’t know who bought Stark/Avengers Tower, and presumably Kingpin did when he said that the city belonged to him, but there is no explicit mention of anyone who inherited Avengers Tower.

7. HOW CAN I NOT MENTION THE FULL “I CAN DO THIS ALL DAY” song that featured as a mid-credits scene?! It’s like Christmas come early for us 😂

[theragamuffininitiative]

Has anyone else written the essay on how MCU Clint is actually canonically better at combat than Natasha or Yelena?

This is not an opinion piece, and it actually goes deeper into who they are as characters than what their skillsets specifically are. This is also MCU specific, and not comic comprehensive, which is fine. Natasha was ok with hurting someone if it meant saving them. She had a brutal upbringing and training, and she's not afraid to break things in order to fix them. Clint on the other hand goes out of his way to avoid hurting.

In Budapest, Clint refused to take Natasha out. He didn't take the shot. However, based on everything we know of Natasha, she wasn't about to just let him walk up and talk to her. Whether the arrow marks in her apartment are from an initial confrontation or made during their later escape (or them being chaotic and bored), at some point Clint managed to get her to not fight him long enough for him to offer her a way out.

In The Avengers, Natasha goes after Clint to stop him from bringing down the helicarrier. It's a crude, no rules style fight that lasts only a few seconds, and Nat knocks Clint out. This is the only time she actually bests him, and he is 1) being mind-controlled and 2) clearly exhausted to the breaking point. An argument may also be made that he was even holding back, based on Selvig building in a backdoor to shut down the portal while being controlled by Loki, and Clint purposefully failing to kill Fury by shooting his vest - there was some awareness of who they were underneath the scepter's power.

In Civil War, Clint and Natasha spar for a moment, though neither one of their hearts are in it. We can't be certain what the outcome of this fight would have been, as Wanda interrupted it. But, based on Clint's reaction - taking offense that Wanda went after Nat and could have hurt her - he wasn't concerned about that outcome. Wanda even accuses him of pulling his punches, which Clint does not deny. We could of course say that Natasha was pulling her punches too, which may very well be true...but that inevitably leaves us with the same conclusion.

[Clint as Ronin, aka Clint hurting, is another essay for another time, but I think it's significant how much of a polar opposite his actions as Ronin and his actions as Hawkeye are to each other.]

On Vormir (sob) Clint actually gets the better of Natasha. This isn't directly hand-to-hand combat, but he surprises her and pins her one time, and then knocks her aside with an explosive arrow the second time. Again, specifically making an effort not to hurt her, but to get her out of the way. Clint later struggles with the fact that Nat was better than him, and that it should have been him. But the only reason it was Nat is because she ran after him - after he had stopped her and jumped off the mountain's edge.

Fast-forward to the Hawkeye series. Clint's first fight with Yelena is a mess. He's unprepared, and also trying to keep Kate safe while dealing with both Yelena and Maya. We don't see much of Clint and Yelena's actual fight here, but one move that is highlighted for us is when Yelena gets the draw on Kate. Rather than taking her out while her attention is distracted, Clint steps between them to protect Kate without hurting Yelena. Interestingly, here it's Kate who shows she's not afraid to hurt (shooting Maya), and the encounter ends with all parties retreating.

[Related note: Clint also makes a visible effort not to truly hurt Maya, despite knowing she wants to kill him and is fairly capable of doing so.]

Lastly, we have Yelena fighting Clint in the finale. Her sole mission is to kill him and again he knows this. Yet during their entire fight, Clint does not make a single offensive move against her. He has her by the back of the neck and merely uses the moment to speak to her. She comes at him and all he does is put his hand out to ask her to stop. He holds her in a potential stranglehold and again spends valuable seconds telling her about her sister, until she frees herself.

Yelena then comes after Clint with her baton. And he lets her. This is the one that gets me. Clint makes no effort at this point to defend himself. Talking about Natasha, seeing Yelena's pain, has brought all of his survivor's guilt to the front. Yelena told Kate that actions matter more than words. In this scene, Clint first tells Yelena he doesn't deserve what Natasha gave him, and then also shows her that he believes it. There is calculation to Clint's actions here, taking Yelena's punishment until she exhausts herself and draws her gun. Then he uses Yelena and Natasha's whistle, and it takes all the fight out of her.

There are many complicated layers to this - Yelena and Clint's grief, her rage, his guilt, and the clear role of his over two decades of experience. Clint lets Yelena get the better of him because he can't bring himself to fight her, and yet he's still controlling the fight the entire time. I think at the end there was a fifty-fifty chance he was going to use the whistle or choose to stay silent and let her kill him. I also think his family and Kate are what tipped the scales. When Yelena says "I loved her so much" and Clint says "me too" and then places his hand on Yelena's shoulder, he's offering Yelena the very same thing he offered Natasha: Not a fight. A way out.

TLDR; Clint Barton in the MCU is canonically a better fighter than the black widows, and yet he chooses repeatedly not to hurt them, but to help and save them.

[alloftheblackwidowfeelings]

Consider Natasha helping Steve break their friends out of the Raft, and seeing the way Wanda was restrained and treated like a weapon more than a human, after having just dealt with all this renewed Red Room trauma.

Gee, thanks, Satan.

I love that we have official canon confirmation that Nat was part of the Raft breakout (although, honestly, Civil War not making that clear from the get-go was a fucking PROBLEM but I digress), but like, honestly? Let's just go through the list of pain that we now have context for.

Let's start with the whole group. Assuming they have no more information than the audience, they have no idea where Nat is.

--Oh no. They probably don't even know what side she's on, right? She helped Steve escape with Bucky but the only people who saw that were Steve and Bucky, and then the people on Team IM, who think she betrayed them. The people she put herself out there for don't even know she put herself out there for them.

And now they're in extrajudicial sea prison and- if I'm remembering the third act of CW correctly, which to be fair I may not be because I usually quit after act 2, and I assume someone will correct me if I'm wrong- while they wonder about whether Steve might come save them, no one even considers Nat would. Because they think she was on the other side? Because they think she wouldn't care? Because they know she's a regular human being and that makes it damn hard to take down governments? Because they assume she'd keep her circle small? Like every single possible reason behind that assumption is a world of pain directly contradicted by the events of BW, which they will never know about. Which hurts.

And at the beginning of the movie, she didn't seem to want to break them out! Like, she kept insisting she was better without a team. Obviously, she was denying her emotional attachments to make things hurt less- and obviously she has a lot of baggage around what it means to be a team and what it means to be family and whether any of them would look for her- but she was in fact actually kind of being the person they thought she was. Like it sucks when people have a bad view of you but it sucks in an entirely different way when their negative view of you is based in reality. It's a brutally harsh look in the mirror.

(And I think this is where the events of BW most change Natasha; I think that any belief she might have had that if she could get out of situations anyone could if they really want to got a rude awakening when it turned out her escape from the Red Room directly led to the other women not being able to, and I think that's shock to her system that she desperately needed. This movie more than anything showed me some of Nat's flaws and I love it for that.)

And then you have to consider that, at least 2 weeks before this (because the jet scene was 2 weeks after the Red Room takedown), she broke Alexei out of the gulag. Like, she did what she had to to take the Red Room down, there's absolutely no faulting her for that, but imagine seeing all your friends stuck in high-security prison and knowing that you had the capacity to break people out of those, in fact did it less than a month ago, but left them there. Again, this is not me saying that she did the wrong thing, but imagine the guilt on her end!

We have Wanda, who's about Yelena's age, the only woman on the Raft, being forcibly restrained far more than any of the men are- how does that not conjure up memories? And then on the other hand it's Wanda, who has the ability to manipulate memories and impulses, who is basically the organic version of what Dreykov did! AND she's the one who brought back Red Room memories Nat clearly didn't want to deal with during Ultron and clearly hadn't processed by this point! How fucking confused must Nat's feelings about Wanda be at this point? She's simultaneously what Nat wants to protect and what Nat wants to protect from, and she's sitting there immobilized in prison in a fucking straightjacket.

And then we have Clint and Scott, which, OKAY. I was talking to @sidewaystime about which Avengers Alexei and Melina mirror (it was an EXCELLENT conversation, it gave me a lot of feelings, but I digress), and she pointed out that Alexei considered himself trapped during the assignment with Nat and Yelena and was complaining about how terrible it was even after (we assume) over a decade in a literal Russian gulag, while we know that Steve and Nat rescued Wanda and Sam but Scott and Clint were both willing to stay behind and deal with the government because they'd rather risk jail than not see their kids again. Like repeatedly through the MCU, Clint and Scott explicitly and repeatedly choose family over everything, immediately after Nat had to confront the people who threw her and Yelena away two decades ago and also had to confront the fact that she essentially did the same thing to Yelena. And here's Scott and Clint representing exactly what she wishes had been done to her, and/or that she'd done!

And all of this, all of this, is stuff none of them know. Given that in Endgame both Steve and Clint assert her only family was the Avengers, she never let them know the foundation of her world had been this shaken and they were all embodying parts of that to her! And she was presumably just putting those feelings in the Feelings Box where we work very hard to pretend they don't exist, while she's piloting a plane and waiting for a group of superheroes to re-board it from the prison, which has to bring back feelings from both Yelena holding the plane while she gets Alexei and from when she was fucking ten years old flying to Cuba with her dad surrogate on the wing with a gun and her mom surrogate bleeding out.

Even Sam, who probably prompts the least trauma for Nat (his closest mirror is Yelena, not Alexei or Melina) and who has the best idea of how to interact with other human beings, who would probably be respectful of triggers, has no idea she even has these triggers! So it's not like anyone can protect her, because she's not giving them the necessary information to do so and so it's all just ENDLESS MINEFIELDS.

Literally everything from the end of Civil War hurts more now!

Just imagine if any of that had been intentional.

[geeky-nightphilosopher]

🏹🏹Hawkeye Ep. 4 Questions & Reviews🏹🏹 (Spoilers! Duh!)

1. Jack thanking Clint for saving the world and then Clint saying, "Don't mention it." has the same energy as Sam telling Bucky he's not going with him to check out the convoy with the Smashers.

2. "Being good isn't always enough to keep you alive." Okay. First off, that's profound. But in a much more real sense, Eleanor needs to back off.

3. Listen, I know that we only got to see Eleanor interact with Kate's real dad for like one scene, but is it weird to anyone else that she seems to be more in love with Jack than she was with Kate's dad? No? Just me? Okay.

3. The more they put Clint's family in, the more I despise Joss Whedon for creating them. Listen, it's cute, I guess. But seriously, your going give him a family, then years later tell us Laura speaks several different languages?? Okay.

4. That's the Clint Barton I've been waiting for. The Clint Barton that put Daily's slushies for his aching muscles.

5. Kate is a hero. Can't change my mind.

6. What's Kate gonna do when she has to take the tree down?

7. Boomerang arrows.

8. Kate making Clint where grumpy cat sweater, *chef's kiss.*

9. Clint has adopted Kate. You can't change my mind.

10. The coin trick.

11. Is it just me or does Clint seem much happier being around Kate then he does with his own kids?

12. Clint fell in love with Nat. He did. You can't change my mind.

13. The Rolex. Clint said it belonged to a friend of his that's still in the game. Which means it's not Tony's. Is it Scott's? Rhodey? Sam? Bucky? Thor's? Pepper's? Strange's? Wanda's? I need to know!

14. Clint treating people. Adorable.

15. LARPer's. All of them.

16. "That's not fair, that your inability to act like a grown-up helps you get your way." That's golden coming from you Clint Francis Barton. Those are definitely somebody elses words. Fury's, Nat's, Coulsons. Just somebody That's not you.

17. Yelena!!

18. The rooftop fight scene.

19. Okay. So, did Eleanor send Yelena or did Madame HYDRA send her? I need answers.

20. They're partners whether or not Clint wants to be.

[kelvinovercelsius]

hawkeye

Hawkeye Predictions: Yelena shows up in the last scene of the last episode. I’m sorry, but it feels more and more likely. First I thought maybe the tracksuits were connected to her (because Russian) but nop. I can’t see Val’s influence that strong yet, and besides, this is Clint and Kate’s passing the baton. BW was Nat and Yelena’s passing the baton.

There will be a clint/yelena fight scene. And I will riot if they don’t mention how similar Yelena’s fighting style is to Nat’s. The fight scene in Budapest was like 2 people fighting with a mirror. No way Clint doesn’t immediately think ‘OMG Red Room.’ Take it a step further, the scene could be inspired by the avengers or civil war fight scenes. Clint pulled her hair and Nat bit him. Icons.

Kate: I saw a post which said that Kate’s reckoning won’t be when she finds out Clint is Ronin, because she already kinda sorta knows Ronin is close to Clint, but instead when she finds out Eleanor is fishy. I could easily see that happening, but I could also see Kate being upset after realising her role model since she was 9?10? is a murderer. But her mother’s stuff would probably be more upsetting. They do love each other, and I would really love if Eleanor wasn’t evil, and it’s a double bluff.

Eleanor: Eleanor and Kate’s dad were arguing over whether to sell the house or not, probably because Bishop securities wasn’t doing too well? And now that the House stands tall and very much is theirs, I think Eleanor got up to suspicious dealings with bad people i.e Tracksuits after 2012 to save Bishop Securities, which is why they’re still rich. And I think some of the suspicious stuff includes the phone number tracking thing that even Kate used because you just put someone’s name in and you have an exact location on them does not sound very legal.

[wxldchxld]

Ok, I have my issues with MCU Natasha but I do just wanna talk about something that really bugged me in the scene with Clint and Yelena.

I do not know WHY they didn’t add one single line to that scene. When Yelena asks why she would sacrifice herself for Clint, I fully thought Clint was going to say “she didn’t. she sacrificed herself for you.”

Because whether or not you like the way the MCU chose to present the stories of Yelena and Natasha, you can’t deny that they have very, very much established that they think of each other as sisters and love each other. This post isn’t about whether or not that’s a good take or if they presented it well. I’m just stating the fact and that is, through The Blackwidow move and through dialogue stated from after Nat’s death by Yelena, the MCU clearly wants you to know that in this universe the two deeply loved one another and considered each other family.

Now I still don’t like that they killed Nat over Clint because even after the show I can’t make myself like MCU Clint (who is basically just Jeremy Renner and that’s a whole other bag of worms) but like, I never thought Nat specifically did that for Clint. At the end of the day, in my personal opinion, Natasha’s sacrifice means so much more than Clint’s would have. 

Clint was willing to throw himself off that cliff because he has nothing left. He’s fallen out of contact with the Avengers (for the most part), he’s lost his family, he’s become a vigilante murderer and that clearly weighs heavily on him. Clint is willing to die because he doesn’t give a shit about living anymore.

You can say a lot of bad shit about MCU Natasha but she NEVER gave up on anyone. You see her dead dog tired in Endgame, falling apart, and she’s still going. She’s trying to work with world leaders, she’s trying to keep what avengers are left together, and she’s getting no thank yous from anyone. You can say its because work is the only thing she knows but Natasha, at her character’s core, cares deeply about others. She’s doesn’t just want to eliminate the bad guys anymore. She wants to protect the good ones.

Yes, Nat wants to save Clint in the same kind of spiritual way he once saved her, but Nat doesn’t just do it for him. I cannot be convinced she wasn’t thinking of her own family, and of the Avengers that are left, and of the entire fate of the world. It isn’t that she doesn’t have anything left and she doesn’t give a shit anymore like Clint, it is because she cares about the lives of others. And I cannot be convinced that one of the lives she cared about most was Yelena’s.

Because Yelena was right. Natasha saved the world. And after she has that scene with Kate I think it would have meant so much to her to hear from Clint’s mouth that yeah, Nat was his best friend and wanted to save him, but she wanted to save Yelena too, and everyone else in the world. If Clint hadn’t have been there, if he didn’t exist or was dead in a grave somewhere, Natasha would have still jumped without hesitation. To save the world, and to save her sister, who she knows hasn’t had nearly as much time to live a free and happy life as she has. 

This got long and I’m just repeating myself, but they really dropped the ball with that scene. To the point where it felt like it was more about Clint’s recovery than Yelena’s and that Yelena’s character was just kind of used to get Clint to fucking forgive himself... which is gross.

[marygaby25]

Guys there is something I want to talk about, it's a scene from "Captain America: The First Avenger".

I clarify beforehand I am not criticizing neither the actress; because she did and said what was in the script she is not to blame; nor the character because although she has her character in the comics she would not do something like that. My criticism goes to the writers and screenwriters, even to the directors who do this kind of scenes.

Remember that scene of Peggy catching Steve making out with a girl, then because she's still upset she shoots him?

Well, Peggy wouldn't do that.

I know, it's a Sharon blog, but come on guys how do you hate one of the people Sharon loves the most and more if they do to her what they did to Peggy.

When Peggy shoots a whole load of bullets at him without knowing if the shield was working, Steve had time to raise the shield or have the bullets ricochet to someone else; just because she found Steve making out with another girl seems over the top to me. I see the scene and the look on Steve's face, Howard Stark's face and everyone in the room is freaked out.Normal, but what's not normal is that Steve would be attracted to that, that anyone in general would be attracted to that.Or that he would still want to have something with someone like that.

Honestly I know maybe they wanted to make Peggy tough or in character, but that's out of control and abusive. I don't blame Peggy's character, nor the actress I repeat. My call of attention is that the writers normalize jealousy to such a degree, it is normal that sometimes people are jealous at times because we are human, but when it is at that level of uncontrolled, visit a specialist because it is not healthy for anyone.

Well, I know it is a universe of heroes and everything is fantasy, but imagine that in real life? It's not very sane; imagine the scene in reverse, a guy does that to a girl he officially has nothing with (and even if he's officially a couple it's unacceptable) it wouldn't be very approving anymore would it?

Why do I bring this up, because it bothers me what they did with Peggy, do you really think Peggy would stoop that low or act like that? Well, no. Maybe Sharon would be bitter and give him a couple of somewhat harsh words; until she finds out it was that they stole a kiss from him, then she would be embarrassed and make fun of him. Peggy on the other hand is an English girl, full of class, sophisticated, rough, but elegant. She will most likely ignore him, give him cold sidelong glances, trying to be as polite as possible and pretend it didn't hurt.

You know, just as they wrote this Peggy scene that has nothing to do with the character.

What they did with Sharon in TFTWS is the same. For those who think Sharon is just a blonde, pretty girl and Steve's love interest; they couldn't be more wrong.

Sharon is not only Agent 13 of SHIELD. She is a warrior and fighter, for a long time she was abandoned behind enemy lines (Steve didn't help her because he thought she was dead) that period she was raped, tortured, starved, cold and was in a tiny cell full of filth. Sharon is a survivor, instead of being filled with hate and destroying SHIELD for revenge she helped Steve save the world, then she saved Steve, she helped save the world again, she joined SHIELD again, Fury chose her as interim director of SHIELD, you know the rest saving the world and Steve's ass a few more times; those things heroes do, because even if it hurts some Sharon is a heroine

Natasha, what they did with natasha in her movie is priceless. Marvel said it was a Black Widow movie, basically I felt they only made the movie to introduce new characters,mind you I'm not against them introducing new characters, nor am I against new characters. the movie is mostly there for us to know where Yelena came from, because she might try to kill Clint and mention Valentina de Fontei. Not to show Natasha's past, the most they could show is that she was stolen from her mother, some of her childhood with Yelena and what they were doing to her in the black widow program (we already knew about the program from the age of ultron) . It would have been better to set that first attempt of Natasha to destroy the black widow program, you can also include the characters of Yelena, Melina, Red Guardian, then at the end it is revealed that it is a lie that she dismantled it because Dreykov. It would have been great if they showed us when he trained with the winter soldier so that "don't you remember me?" line would make more sense, address their relationship whether romantic or emotional by seeking comfort in each other and have them separated because together they are a danger to hydra and Dreykov if they are revealed, that will definitely increase natasha's contempt for both organizations even more. Who didn't want to see the first meeting with Clint and not just be half told, see Natasha wanting to know about her mother, that SHIELD recruitment by Nick Fury, a private funeral with those closest to her. Eye I'm not saying the movie was bad, just that they could have given an origin movie approach to how that growing up process was or what Natasha went through before she became the SHIELD agent of avengers, because the Natasha from civil war we already knew.

for the fans of the characters I name what I say I do it because it is enough that marvel gives an image of the characters that are not, not because I have something negative towards them.

Nat's movie deserved to be treated differently, not like it's necessary to bring out a Nat movie because the original six have one (Clint has a series) and other characters need to be introduced.

Peggy didn't deserve to have them try to show her "character" or "rudeness" in that way as if she has no self control or is a celopath

Sharon did not deserve to be treated as a romantic interest and spiteful villain.

That most of the things that are affected are female characters.

So guys don't let the MCU give you what they want and you accept without protest. Analyze and be demanding so marvel doesn't keep ruining stories.

[nevermindirah]

I’ve seen Black Widow

thoughts below the cut

I loved it. I cried.

It’s pretty standard white feminism, nothing groundbreaking, but as a small story about a human being struggling with her identity and her place in the world, chef’s kiss.

There were enough callbacks that it didn’t feel like they’d taken Natasha out of her context, but it wasn’t an Endgame-style victory lap and rightly so. There were more callbacks to things that had previously happened in this one movie than there were to all 6 of the previous movies she’s appeared in. The fucking fireflies. They got to me. And the whistling? OUCH MY HEART

I didn’t realize until the moment Yelena handed it to her that that’s the vest Natasha wears in Infinity War. That’s when I started crying.

The set pieces were inventive as hell. I was genuinely surprised by: the avalanche, the Red Room being in lower Earth orbit, Natasha and Malina switching places with the masks from Winter Soldier, and especially, fuck, little Antonia who Natasha thought she’d murdered turning out to be the Task Master.

I loved that there wasn’t some big reveal like Malina was her birth mother or some shit. I loved that it’s left open how much or even whether Natasha keeps in touch with this one of her two families — while she and Yelena might be able to have an honest relationship after “It was real for me too,” Malina and Alexei showed realistic (which is to say, meaningful but fucking small) character growth. Those two are never going to be parents to Natasha, not how she deserved, not how every child deserves. I loved how honest this movie was about that.

The opening credits sequence was fucking traumatic, though, and here’s where we start the criticism of white nonsense. Yes, girls are probably the world’s greatest underappreciated resource. Especially girls of color. Who we see in this movie all over the place as nameless soldiers under the most extreme mind control yet seen in the MCU. Widows of color suffer and die repeatedly in this movie. It absolutely tracks that the Red Room would expand its post-Soviet operations and steal baby girls from all over the world, but they could’ve picked more of the white extras to be the ones to die painfully.

I know they did this so they wouldn’t be criticized for having an all-white cast. But they still had an all-white lead cast. I was charmed half-naked (of course my mask was still on, I saw this movie in a theater!) by the very pretty man who kept setting Natasha up with gear, but I can’t remember his name, and his only defining characteristics are pretty, charming, and frequently asleep. The moment at the end where she called him a friend would’ve been a fuckton better if she’d called him by name several times by that point so we could remember it, and if she’d, I don’t know, mentioned something that shows she pays attention when he talks, that shows she cares about him as a person even just a little bit beyond how he’s useful to her.

And you know what would’ve been a better way to get the Task Master off the field at the end? The Black teenager (fuck she looked so young) who went to her could have said, “Hi, my name is ___, I’m your sister and I’m going to get you out of here. What’s your name?” Instead her much shorter one line was entirely focused on helping the white girl. A different Black Black Widow was the one who said to Yelena something like of course we came back for you. We see Yelena holding her hand, but if we could only have one and not both, the screen time would’ve been better spent on learning this young woman’s name. A piece of her humanity that isn’t just using her newfound agency to choose to save the white lead.

They could’ve taken this opportunity to give us at least one Black Widow who was both Russian-born and visibly Asian. You know, since Russia is an enormously multi-ethnic country and even before modern immigration you don’t have to leave Russia to find people of color. We could’ve gotten a few sentences about the scientist who invented the deprogramming gas. We know she was in Malina’s age cohort so she was more likely to have been born in the USSR, and we know she had to have been exceptionally smart and brave even for a Black Widow to invent this formula and ensure it would free some of her sisters. Handled badly, this of course could’ve gotten into Asian math-nerd stereotype territory. Handled well, this minor character would’ve had a name — I think Yelena called her Oksana as she watched her die? — and a layered backstory. Malina could’ve even shared a memory of her, one thing that she and Oksana shared when they were baby Nat and Yelena’s ages.

Or they could’ve recast Scarlett Johanssson with an actress of any Asian ethnicity that could plausibly have been found in the USSR in the 80s, but, you know.

It is extremely not lost on me that both ScarJo and Rachel Weisz are Jewish and I wondered if they might do something in the direction of making Jewish Natasha canon. I’m relieved they didn’t go there in the end, and I’ll happily keep my Jewish Nat headcanons here where I can play with them and keep them safe from corporate bullshit.

To wrap this up, that post-credits scene made me so happy. I am so here for Yelena trying out every “the 90s are back” fashion trend she missed out on the first time around all in one outfit. What’s her name from Falcon & Winter Soldier turning up as Yelena’s boss or whatever and assigning her to kill Clint was exactly the right amount of crossover. We’ve only just met this character, I love her, and I’m fucking delighted that instead of spending yet more screentime on any of the white dudes who’ve already had plenty of it in the 23 previous MCU movies, we got to spend these last moments of the movie with Yelena.

Natasha Romanoff will return in my Sam Wilson and Nile Freeman are Cousins WIP (where she will be having a heart-to-heart with Andy)

Yelena Belova will return in Hawkeye (if Marvel knows what’s good for it)

[smellycinnamonthundahfudge]

The Black Widow Essay

one of em anw, lol

i'm just gonna start with the very beginning of the film, cause start to finish, they put so much detail in and you can tell everyone really cared to make natasha's story as full & vibrant as they possibly could.

them showing how early on she liked dying her hair or was used to it, even as a child?

as well as such innocent sweet things as this scene

all possibly subtly hinting these girls’ physical capabilities and their dark upbringing or who they really are as spies???

just, how seemingly normal child like things could be subtle hints toward something darker??

but it was STILL something innocent and sweet nevertheless whether they were able to do that cause of their training??

LOVED THAT.

the fact that NAT HAD FRIENDS??? WHEN SHE WAS A KID???

so important to me...

(cause they didn't really need to add that,... but they did)

how the whole operatives pretending as fake families made perfect sense cause they do it all the time in spy movies…

and how yeah, if there were child spies, then they could be used for spy families,

but this was the first movie that DARED to talk about the complexity of it all…

of a fake family being the only family that you had.

I bring this up because I just fucking love it and it reminds me of what they did in wandavision

rushed holidays and birthdays and normal family occasions all in one, because that was all they could get…

the idea of fake empty families in both bw and wv and jac schaeffer being involved with both of em??? gods im in love hahahah

in other spy movies, it’s just so plot focused…

they’re disguised as this to get to this and blablabla

they don’t dare to talk that they were more than their mission

that they have interests hobbies hopes dreams AND LIVES, beyond their work

(say what you will about captain marvel, but I will repeat, it was the first to show women had lives interests hobbies dreams beyond the work that they had...)

i just... the spy families thing is always so plot-centric, but this one, the infiltration aspect had an emotional side to it since it meant that they could all get a reprieve from their normal horrific lives

that's what i ADORE from this film, when they do something, they always hit for the most emotional, most moving, compelling way it can be told or shown

because, all this time we’ve been told, she’s a child assassin, she’s a child spy, she started when she was young dadadaaa

in other movies, they probably could’ve explored this by showing the violence

what was done to her, to show the meaning of what they did to her…

but you know what I absofuckingtutely die for??

they showed the meaning of the violence through this

that BECAUSE of what was done to her…

she could do that

SHE COULD PROTECT SOMEONE ELSE FROM SUFFERING THE SAME FATE AS SHE DID

all, in the first FIFTEEN 15 FUCKING MINUTES…

I just love how the never endless mention of the child assassin thing

the heaviest meaning of that was so beautifully shown like this…

like, YEAH

THIS.

THIS IS WHAT BEING A FUCKING CHILD ASSASSIN MEANS.

SHE’LL STEAL YOUR GUN, SHOOT TO KILL

ALL TO PROTECT HER INNOCENT, YOUNGER, SISTER

oh wait, I also just love the action of the plane scene

it had so much stakes, I was genuinely panicked and fearing for all of them..

melina was shot, nat was flying the plane, yelena was a terrified baby, alexei was even hanging from the freaking wing…

it wasn’t just weightless action, random kicks and punches on screen…

it was a family fleeing for their lives.

I just wanted to commend the incredible stakes the creatives made sure to put into the film’s first action scene is all.

they could have phoned this in and just have hopper punch some dudes

but they WANTED you to root for this family

they WANTED you to feel scared for them, care about them.

THEY CARED.

the first action scene nat ever did, was to protect her sister…

they could have shown her take down some men following after them…

but they DECIDED for nat to show her full capabilities… when it would matter most.

THEY CARED.

AND… NO ONE, NOT NEARLY ENOUGH PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT IT.

you know what I love about the budapest reveal??

they could have just kept it at the clarifying what actually happened thing

and all of us in the audience can revel in the fact that

shooting it out with the hungarian guard and blowing up a building

was in nat’s eyes

just like a literal alien invasion of floating monsters descending from a portal in the sky

just… bask & appreciate the comedy of this guys…

nat’s so funny, I cant…

no okay, they could have just kept it at that…

but they decided to add WHAT HUMANITY THEY COULD IN THAT BACKSTORY.

and they had nat & clint play tic tac toe in the air vents they were hiding out on…

they didn’t have to do that, but they did…

and not enough people appreciate it enough.

people are already talking about how excellent and wonderful it was, the conversations and commentaries on choice are and I’m only here to say YES MORE OF THAT SHARE IT TO EVERYFREAKING ONE GODDAMN IT

in most marvel movies, the female character & the hero usually just either butt heads or the female just helps out the hero in whatever they need to do, they’re the infallible support structure that keeps the hero up

I think… this is why the dynamic between yelena and nat, hits so goddamn hard…

your pain makes you stronger

so much of this film talks about how their pain made them stronger, the best example of this I believe, is the scene in cuba

what I said about the child assassin repetition all concluding to that “I will kill you all, DON’T TOUCH HER” scene…

her pain was LITERALLY what enabled her to do that.

but I bring back the film’s crux line, cause it’s what I think truly separates and makes yelena and nat’s dynamic so much richer more complex and beautiful to me…

the pain of their past.

nat’s insistence of their time together in america not being real, and her dismissing everything in her past as a widow of the red room as horrible and just something she needed to get away from…

it reminds me of a scene from a show my family watches,

new amsterdam. in it, a woman, escapes a house of neglect and abuse. but she also left behind her younger sister in that household, and naturally, feels deeply guilty about it.

but, her therapist said to her, “you saved the only person that you could.”

and, … I can’t think of anything better to fit nat’s situation.

her dismissal of everything in her past as horrible was a fucking coping mechanism…

it made leaving everything behind, easier…

“it wasn’t real, so there isn’t anything to hold onto” nat herself says

she saved the only person she could… herself.

sigh…

most marvel movies usually just have its theme as “be who you were meant to be”

tony, thor, quill, & rocket learned selflessness

peter parker learned to appreciate what HE had, and not focus on what he was escaping from and to

steve figured out who he was in a new world

t’challa reckoned with the sins of the past

(scott’s just a dad)

carol learned to own her power and who she truly was

but nat??

yeah, sure, she could also fall under that theme.

but I just… I honestly believe the abuse, the pain she endured… makes her arc so much more meaningful and poignant…

because it wasn’t just the hero struggling, then the female side character reassuring them & giving them the strength they needed to be who they needed to be

it was her reckoning with what she did…

it was her shutting off yelena who cared about her, because she didn’t want to think about what she left behind

it was her, keeping her heart… when her mother could not.

how despite melina felt she was a rat in a cage

what SHE taught nat, was what kept nat alive…

the pain nat escaped, still found its way to her, in that because of that pain, she caused pain to the little happiness that she had in her past

she caused pain to yelena, because it was all she could associate to her past, which she NEEDED to escape

pain was inflicted on her, and she inflicted pain too

she also just casually stated her mother throwing her out like garbage

was I the only one who was utterly shaken by her statement??

to only then after say, she thought of her everyday even if she didn’t admit it to herself

(don’t even get me started on this search & importance of her past to her being fucking hinted in the place she died, vormir, where she learned her father’s name.

how even after she defeated dreykov… she still didn’t know it, til then…)

I just…

the creatives put so much effort into making nat’s story so full of heart, humanity, and meaning…

the humanity of tic tac toe over hiding out from an army

playing in the yard and colorful dyed hair hinting the dark upbringing

reckoning with what one did to survive…

black widow, is such a heartfelt humanely painful and beautiful film…

it isn’t just another spy movie

it isn’t just another marvel movie

they talked about abuse in it, guys…

they acknowledged it, unflinchingly

the good, the bad, all of it, the entire truth of it…

that alexei wasn’t allowed a chance to be forgiven for what he did

that he can wash himself clean, and that they give him their forgiveness, for HIS benefit…

that it was the very pain inflicted on them, that enabled them to take their abusers down

You think I can’t take a punch?

it was literally her pain threshold & strength that enabled her to break free from dreykov's control

her capability of severing the nerve borne from the training she endured

her pain was literally what made her stronger

they made sure to show that oksana and antonia wouldn’t be forgotten

they let the other widows do their part

and the ones the family saved, came back for them and saved them too

even antonia, as taskmaster, had someone who cared about her. the young widow who told her to smile, went to her when she was no longer controlled.

it was fighting for control, it was looking & focusing on what WAS there

just like how nat learned to accept that not all of her past was horrible,

I want to show you how this movie shows that not all of how nat was treated in the mcu was horrible

the thank you for your cooperation scene, yes

but, one parallel that I haven’t seen anyone bring up yet is this one…

nat did her job, and it’s how they took down hydra

nat did her job, and that’s how they took down the red room

because of nat’s intelligence, due diligence, they had the intel they needed to take down hydra

and to find and save the other widows…

because that’s precisely why I would die for this film…

they. care.

they remembered that small, for most people forgettable, thing that she did- BUT WAS ACTUALLY THE KEY TO THE WHOLE THING

AND MADE DAMN SURE TO SHOW & HIGHLIGHT ITS IMPORTANCE IN HER FILM.

(her copying the data needed to SAVE THE OTHER WIDOWS IN THE WHOLE WORLD WAS GIVEN THE FOCUS & ENERGY NEEDED TO HIGHLIGHT THAT SCENE'S SIGNIFICANCE CAUSE W/O THAT DATA, THOSE WOMEN WOULD BE LOST)

they KNEW that HER COPYING THAT INFO in the lemurian star in tws IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE is HOW NICK FIGURED OUT HYDRA’S PLAN

AND DECIDED TO FUCKING PARALLEL THAT TOO IN HER FILM CAUSE THEY KNEW THAT DESPITE HOW SMALL THAT SCENE WAS, IT WAS ACTUALLY THE KEY TO THE ENTIRE THING

they know the significance that nat’s story has, how it’s about abuse, and what it does to people

it makes them want to run away & dismiss everything that happened as purely horrible

sometimes, it makes them betray people (like melina & even to some extent, nat…)

they did all this in a marvel movie

the importance of choice, control, autonomy, of women’s lives, every aspect of it

the mundane, their intelligence, their pain, their relationships, their humor & happiness & love…

this was a marvel movie, starring women, produced by women, written (jac schaeffer, wv creator too), directed (cate shortland), and edited (leigh folsom) by women.

this was an excellent beautiful painfully heartfelt luminescent movie, from start to finish.

so much care compassion complexity & love, woven into the story

they cared about what nat DID manage to do in the mcu, not that she was forced into the sidelines

(though, honestly, I think that line about nat never letting herself be alone long enough to figure out what her story is was such an interesting & cool way of acknowledging it…)

nat never spoke much in the films, and they went with it, she’s not the inspiring speech type, she herself says

behind the scenes, they were making nat look as cool as possible with those poses

but in this film, they made it HER character trait

that SHEEEE, WANTS TO POSE LIKE THAT.

I just think that’s so funny… a cute character trait of her wanting to pose all the time and denying/not acknowledging it??

I think it’s a sweet & funnily humanizing trait of hers :’’’))

they made her funny like that, heh…

most mcu movies, they have arcs, they have great interesting moving stories…

I just think this film is chockfull of love over natasha romanoff, a hero, an avenger’s story…

they put so much in to give her as full of a life as they could… a complex, heartbreaking, painful, happy, tragic, loving, human life…

most mcu movies… they’re so plot focused. find this, follow that.

for me, this film wasn’t.

it was women getting their control back.

behind the screen, and on screen, it was women getting their control back…

after a decade and more of getting bits of meaningful crumbs here and there, the creatives of this film gathered all those up, and built a full complex life and story from it…

it dealt with something so real and tragic but also beautiful and full of love.

I don’t think most mcu movies did this.

and it’s why I wrote all of this.

give credit where it’s due.

black widow is the most heartbreakingly painful and beautiful film marvel’s ever made…

it was a full and concise and finished and complete story, start to finish, about the hero who’s earned it, the goddamned most.

acknowledge what they did with this film.

it’s what they, nat & the creatives, deserve.

acknowledge it.

they didn’t work this hard to give nat such a meaningful loving & complex life and family and story, only for it to be called lesser

than films who tackle their themes in much shorter times

and with themes that aren’t as rooted in reality

acknowledge what they did.

acknowledge it.

I’m not really that knowledgeable over what framing and lighting really means…

but I think those details mean something

how their life at ohio, playing in the yard was flickered with sunlight, and fireflies

how it turned to night when they were forced to flee and return to russia

how it was night when they first entered the red room

but then there’d be more and more light as nat had progressed with their plan, with beams of light, flashing through the window behind her

and then once the dust had settled, the sun was rising on them, the survivors.

but… the most poignant & meaningful of all these lighting shots that I found…

was nat’s endings,

when she said goodbye to her family…

it was almost like, she was saying goodbye to us too…

with daylight, shining all around behind her, as she walked away and whistled her goodbye

this happening with her goodbye to her family

and with her official final shot of her, heading into the horizon, to her destiny

saving the universe, and saving her family

they cared so much to give her these beautifully poetically luminescent images of her, guys…

my heart breaks as I don’t see anyone else acknowledging this…

so please… acknowledge it.

acknowledge, what they did.

acknowledge it.