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madwomansapologist · 1 year ago

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Hi, i was wondering if you could write a smutty Agatha fic based on the song "Hypnotic" by Zella Day? Every time i listen to this song, it makes my think of Agatha and reader 💜

you taking over me | agatha harkness

synopsis: You were a good person. You spend you live making sure that everyone would think that. A good daughter, a good wife, a good neighbor. You were a good person, but Agatha Harkness didn't care about your goodness. [3K]

warnings: based on "hypnotic", by Zella Day. smut. non-consensual voyeurism (in so many ways). saphic couple. cheating (both you and agatha cheating on your husbands #feminism). oral sex. public sex. fingering. nudes. people pleaser!reader. kinda of manipulative!reader. female!reader. bisexual!reader.

ps: thanks for that rec! i didn't knew this song, and it is sooooo great. that vibe, that clip 🥵 (bisexuality really won that day), it's so Agatha coded. really anon, your mind is amazing. and dear anon, i have a rec for you "eu comi a madona", by Ana Carolina. even if you don't know portuguese or can't find a translation (and if you don't just send me an ask that i will translate everything for you), that song just scream: I WILL EXPLODE IF I DON'T FUCK HER. hope you like it! and i'm open for more songs recs!

You always knew who you were and what you would become. Indecision and uncertainty were not part of your life. You knew what people expect from you, so you gave it to them.

Mom wanted you to be nice. Dad wanted you to be assertive. Friends wanted you to be fun. Colleagues wanted you to be smart. Teachers wanted you to detach. Lovers wanted you to be the one.

It's easy to give people what they want when they are so obvious about their desires. You just needed to formulate yourself, and in response they too would give you what you wanted. It's a fair exchange.

People do so many things for those that reach their expectations. They give them a name, reputation, notoriety. They give them respect. They don't believe when they hear something negative about you, bitter truths become malicious lies for their ears, uncomfortable favors become the least that could be done for someone so kind.

And you always did reach them.

Good. All your life this word followed you around. Good daughter, good friend, good co-worker, good student, good neighbor, good samaritan. Good, good, good. It was only a matter of time until you were a good wife.

And then, when people thought you were the perfect girl with the perfect life, all you had to do was to be happy and enjoy the fruits of your hard labor. Enjoy all the things you build because you had a name, a reputation, notoriety. To enjoy your perfect, carefuly construct dream life. Your perfect home, your perfect job, your perfect husband.

So why are so discouraged? You should be the happiest person on earth, but nothing is interesting. No one is interesting.

Your husband was the right decision. The right man at the right time. He gave you everything you wanted, all the things you didn't even ask for, and made your reputation even better. Your parents love him. He should be the one, he is the one, but every second spent with him is a second you're lying to his face.

He bores you to the bone.

You don't blame him. You spent your whole life practicing smiles, faking orgasms, laughing forcefully so you would have what you wanted. You lied to get him, and you lie to kept him beside you. Why did you expect that after the marriage anything would change? You are the liar and the lie in this relationship, and he is who he always was.

So you resigned yourself to that. If in case to have the perfect life, to have everything you ever wanted, you need to kept pretending all the time... whatever. That's just another tuesday for you. A momentary unhappiness compared to everything else in your life isn't that important.

You were sunbathing the first time you met your new neighbor. And for sure you didn't knew you would met her.

For how long did you lay there, next to the pool, just letting the time pass and your mind wander? You don't know. You can't even try to guess. All you know is that the oil penetrating your skin made you smell like lavander. Your drink made your mouth sweeter and your legs weaker. Your bikini made the calm breeze carress your skin, and the sunglass on your face was helping you starting to fall asleep.

Put even with your guard down and mind free, you still just as able to feel when someone is looking at you. And what you felt made you guess if a burning gaze was trying to break into your soul.

You supressed your smile. Yes, your husband is a pain in the ass, but it's nice to feel desired. To feel wanted. Without opening your eyes, you slid your fingers down your body, the oil pooling against your digits. You could feel his gaze following your movements, looking at what you wanted him to. Behaving like the good pet he is. You lifted one of your legs and played with the tiny string that tied your bikini.

When you started to dismantle the knot, someone else's voice made you shiver. "Hello there, neighbor!"

You searched for the source of the voice, and found her on the other side of your fence. That was the first time you could've done something different. You could have walked away from there, covered your body with an towel, ignored her. You could've closed your fucking legs.

But you couldn't look away from her solstice eyes. You felt hypnotize by them. Her delicate smile, the soft skin of her exposed neck, her purple vintage t-shirt floating with the breeze. The malice on her eyes were so magnetic.

"Welcome, Agatha", she didn't seem surprised by you knowing her name. You took off your sunglasses, a perfect smile decoring your face. "Enjoying your new home already?"

Agatha was clearly working to organize everything. The hair tied in a loose ponytail, the hands dirty with white paint, the lack of makeup. You could see the tiredness, the effort, the dedication to make everything the right way. Agatha was natural. Genuine. You couldn't look away from her.

"Westview is... different. But I have a good feeling about this place", Agatha sounded so confident. So comfortable with herself. "I know for sure that I already love the view."

Your almost couldn't stop yourself from rolling your eyes. To hide your smirk you took another sip from your drink. And still, you couldn't just look away from her. You didn't even tried. "We're counting with your presence for this week's meeting."

"It will be a honor", Agatha took a step back, part of her body dissapearing behind the fence. "See you there."

Now you rolled your eyes, laying back to enjoy the sunlight. You could still feel her gaze lingering on your skin. Part of you wished Agatha was still looking.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

The neighbors meeting wasn't necessary. It never is. And yet, you have a bright smile on your face. No need to say that it was a fake one, but gosh it was beautiful. Charming enough so people wouldn't look at your apathetic eyes.

Your mind was somewhere else. Somewhere way more interesting.

You had just finished getting ready for the neighbors meeting. Your husband wouldn't make it, he always fail to escape the rush. You were locking the main door when you noticed that you forgot to your perfume. With the lights off, you ran upstairs and opened your drawer.

Now smelling like your favorite fruit, you got goosebumps when cold air made its way throught your house. Closing your bedroom's window, you didn't choose to observe the other house. It just happened.

Agatha really liked purple. You think that it was her bedroom that you were seeing. A long bed, with dark sheets kneaded, had a few clothes on it. You could see her old, wooden wardrobe. Her wallpaper remind you of those scenes where movies show witch's houses.

Then Agatha entered her bedroom. Using only a towel.

You could almost sense the warmth of Agatha. The faint mist of the hot bath had followed her. You could see the water running down her exposed back, her hair dripping against the the towel she used to dry it. Her rose cheeks. They look so soft. You wanted to carress them.

You kept on watching when Agatha put oil on her hand and used it on her body. You followed her fingers, seeing the careful way she massaged her skin. And you kept watching as she opened a drawer on her wardrobe and choose her underwear. It was a simple, velvet lilac piece. She didn't put on a bra. And you did kept on watching her when Agatha dropped the towel.

A hot sensation passed thought your womb, a burning wave you couldn't control or deny its existence. You could feel the shiver running down you spine, the way unconsiously your thights rubbed against one another, the way you lose control of your heartbeat. You stopped breathing and didn't even noticed.

You didn't even tried to look away.

Your mind wasn't under your control anymore. Your imagination was free to go whenever it wanted to.

You saw you pressing your thigh against her thigh, begging to taste her. Yourself lost between Agatha's thights, eating her out like she was your last fucking meal. You fingers into her, hers into you, your bodies linked as one. Her smirk against your neck.

She's the kind of woman that deserve to be devoured. On all fours, side, front, back, bottom, standing. You saw yourself smear on Agatha for as long as she wanted you to. Trembling, moaning, cumming.

You watched as Agatha slid her legs into the underwear, choose between the black dress and the blue skirt, perfumed herself. You wondered what her scent would be. You admired Agatha while she chose what earrings to use, what shoe would look better with the dress, combed her hair.

You were late to the meeting. And there you couldn't even understand what they were talking about. All you could do was to focus on the way your womb itched, how a simple movement made your pussy fucking ache, how empty you felt. It was like your body missed her.

It was wrong. You know that it was wrong, and you also knew it while it was happening. And still, you couldn't look away. It was like Agatha put a spell on you. She's your magician, the owner of your eyes, a woman capable of hypnotizing you. You knew it was wrong, you just didn't care.

Hearing your neighbors discussing about why motorcycle's noises were impossible to ignore or forgive, trying to keep up with the conversation in a way to calm your body down from this delirium, you didn't noticed when she got there. You didn't noticed Agatha staring at you from across the room, devouring you without any shame, feeling her mouth full of saliva and desire.

With the pictures of Agatha repeating itself in your mind, your eyes were of no use. All you did was try to listen, and then you felt it. A sweet, not cloying or childish, aroma. You could sense cinnamon, and maybe a scent of apple deep down. It was so alluring.

And still, you only knew it belong to Agatha when you look at who had just sat beside you. Agatha smiled to you, her eyes closing a little bit because of the gesture. "Are you as bored as me?"

That was when shame finally hit you. You felt your throat drying, your heartbeat suddenly so loud in your ears. "We are trying to make this neighborhood better", your words were so empty of meaning. You couldn't think of anything better to say. You felt so dirty.

"We?" Agatha was even prettier up close. Her eyes... they were something. It was like looking at the stars. So alive, so bright, so energetic. "Do you agree that motorcycles should be everyone's priority? That if you don't yell at your neighbor about it the world may end?"

You bit you tongue. "No", you got closer to her, now whispering only for Agatha to hear you. You put your arms on the large table, stretching them. "But I agree that one meeting peer month is way better than a group chat. You should've thank me. I saved you from endless midnight discussions about... well, anything really."

Agatha sat deeper into her chair, her face so close to yours that you could feel her mint breath. Your cheeks prickled. "So you're the neighborhood heroine? That surprises me. You don't look like one."

And for the first time in such a long, long time, you were really interest in something. In someone. "Why?"

"I can see disdain in your eyes."

Oh. Your role was not played as well as you thought. You fixed your posture. Away from her, you crossed your legs and forced a polite smile. "You have a exquisite way to befriend people."

"I wonder what would entertain you", Agatha didn't get her eyes away from you, even if you were no longer facing her. You could feel her gaze. And when you didn't answer her, you felt Agatha's digits on the hem of your dress. "That's the problem, isn't it? You're bored."

"As you said, noise isn't really that big of a problem", you answered her with a dry tone. You could feel your body softening under her touch. You grabbed her hand and tried to take it off your lap, but Agatha just caressed your thigh with her thumb. It was a slow affection, so intimate. "Stop that."

"That's not the first time I see this look in your face", Agatha whispered, somehow her voice got so husky. Her nails scratched your thigh, a movement so slow it almost made you wish she would just rip your skin apart. Any pain would be better than that bitter absence. "Your smile is bright, but no intricate lie ever reached your eyes."

"What are you doing?" Your mouth moved, but no sound came from it. Still, you knew she understood.

Agatha played with a strand of your hair, twirling it around her finger. "Trying to make you open your legs, sweetheart."

You felt your insides squirm. You looked around, your neighbors were still arguing about something that didn't matter. You were in public, close to people who are part of your environment. This is so wrong. But then you stared at the hand on your thigh.

The lilac nails, the delicate fingers, the veins marked in the skin. Her fingers moved with a mixture of affection and teasing, each slightest movement left you wanting more. But what you stared at, what made your eyes return to the immensity of Agatha's, was the golden wedding ring.

And that was what you needed. A sign that Agatha had as much to lose as you.

The first thing that came to your mind when she moved her hand between your thighs wasn't about how wrong it all was, how you had a husband waiting for you at home, how no one there could ever find out what Agatha was doing under the table. When you felt her thumb approach your panties, all you could think about was how Agatha wasn't wearing a bra.

Agatha's fingers rub against the already stiff nerve, her nails sliding over your panties. You moved your hips. You were already so sensitive, and Agatha didn't seem to be in a hurry.

The hand that was playing with a strand of your hair went up to your head, the fingers intertwining with the roots of your hair. She squeezed, clinging to you, and smiled gently. "You will need to be quiet. Can you do that for me?"

You didn't answer her, you just smiled. And your smile was a thousand times more convincing than hers. You took your hands off the table and lowered it to your thigh. Observing the environment, making sure no one was paying attention, you squirmed in the chair to get your panties off. You slid it down your legs, and the fabric fell to the floor. You pulled it with your foot, bringing her closer to you, and picked her up off the ground.

You placed it on Agatha's lap. "Of course I can", you whispered back.

And without hesitation, you placed iy on Agatha's lap

Agatha's fingers were warm. Certain. She explored your lips, goosebumps ran up your spine, played with your pussy. You closed your eyes, the most careless part of you wanting to focus on the pleasure only. When you felt the pressure on your clit, you bit your lips.

You were getting used to the speed, getting used to the delicious pressure between your legs, Agatha simply slid her fingers inside you. Two fingers, without even giving you time to prepare. At a slow, agonizing pace, Agatha opened you up. She curled her fingers, your eyes rolled back, and no matter how much time passes you have no idea how she was able to fuck you so good without anyone noticing.

Agatha is better at it than your imagination convinced you. She's hypnotic. You couldn't think about anything else. All you could do was to make sure your mouth was well shut as Agatha broke into you.

With your mouth locked, eyes open and hands still, no one even imagined that your legs were shaking under the table. Or that when Agatha bent down after dropping her bag it was just an excuse to lick her fingers soaked in your juice.

That night you told your husband that you were going to help your new neighbor with a recipe and then go home. While he slept in the room you shared, Agatha made you hers in the house next door. She ate you, drank you, breathed you.

You both didn't even close the curtain.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Many people when are caught cheating say it only happened once. That it was a mistake. A moment of weakness. Something that had never happened before and would never ever happen again. If at any point these words come out of your mouth, it means you have finally stopped caring about the truth.

The photos Agatha has prove that you are much more than a bad habit.

You wearing that same vintage t-shirt from when you met her and nothing underneath. The still damp bikini staining Agatha's bed. Your mouth drenched with her juice. Your face contorting as Agatha fucks you

With Agatha, even blood tastes sweet. You couldn't lie with her once and then move on with your life. Who, when given the chance to explore the ocean, decides to swim in the shallows? Not you. Not when it comes to her.

It would never be enough. Agatha would never be able to end your hunger. You will always want something more of her. More, and more, and more.

You were barely breathing. Your entire body shook, every cell of your being changed. Agatha seemed able to decode yourbrain using just her tongue. “Ralph will be here soon,” you said. Or whispered. Or muttered. Or screamed. Or he just thought he said it. You had no idea what your body was capable of at that moment

Agatha didn't move away from your wet pussy. "And I couldn't care less." Her fingers penetrated you once more, searching for another orgasm. "Be a good girl and cum for me again."

You were always good. But with Agatha it wasn't an act.

if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡

@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.

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tiredflowercrown · 1 year ago

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Malvina Hook

Legal name: Malvina Tameryn Mim

Aliases: Malvina Hook, Vina

Gender: Female

Age: 12

Eye color: Navy Blue

Hair color: Black

Height: 5'5 (166 cm)

Scars/Birthmarks: Burn scars along the bottom of her feet

Other Distinguishing Features: Hair tipped a light grayish purple

Appearance: Typically seen in shades of black and mauve, with occasional pops of red

Birthday:

Known Family: Madam Mim (Mother), James Hook (Father), Harriet Hook (Sister), Harry Hook (Brother), Calista Jane (Sister), Maïwenn Mim (Sister), Mordon Mim (Sister), Maeve Mim (Niece), Móirín Mim (Sister), Maighread Mim (Niece), Morrígan Mim (Sister), Madailéin Mim (Niece), Marlowe Mim (Sister), Myf Mim (Niece, deceased), Morweena Mim (Sister, deceased), Moria Facilier (Niece), Mordon Mim (Anut), Maeve Mim (Cousin), Marvel Mim (Sister, deceased), Michelle Mim (Niece), Melissa Mim (Niece, deceased), Madona Mim (Grand-Niece)

Notable Traits: Curious, Intelligent, Quiet, Hostile, Reactive

Associations: Leighton Rourke, Yzla, Zevon, Reza of Agrabah

Weaknesses: Submissive to both her mother and Maeve Mim, Desperate for the Other Hook siblings attention

#disney descendants #malvina hook #sals isle lore

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fukuzawa-armeddaddyagency · 2 months ago

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Second child is Madonna at 10

"Madonna comes from Old Italian language words of ma ("my") and donna ("lady"). The Italian word came from the Latin phrase mea domina (or domina mea), translated as "my mistress" in English. In modern Italian, "my lady" is translated as mia donna. The name is alternatively spelled as Madona, Madonnah, and Madòna." -Google

Madonna means my lady, it's close to belladonna and Dazai uses that in fanfics. When I think of lady or madam, I think of a respectful older woman that says dear to people younger than her so I'm giving Madonna the personality of being sweet, caring, and like the mother friend.

-🪽

// incredible. Also amazing. Love the mom friend middle child.

#bsd rp blog #bsd fukuzawa

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eungii · 3 years ago

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• ¡ material girl ? ! ft. any of your fav

ᴛᴡ: really fluff || just a little drabble with madona's song || female pronouns || comfort ||

ɴᴏᴛᴇ: I just saw a tiktok and got the idea || @/nettskiiee_art on tt

"hey dad, do you remember your first date with mom?" The girl asked to her father who's hair is now gray and face with wrinkles " oh sweetheart, of course I do. She was the popular girl, and i still don't get how she fell in love with me" he sigh

In fact, your beauty was in another level.

And he will always remember that day. Oh yeah, that beautiful day. The day you finally told him " wanna go and have a date? ".

His face was like everyone else, surprised. But he did accept it, I mean who would reject someone like you? And if someone did it they must need glasses, because is unacceptable.

His nerdy shirt was obvious for your eyes in that small park near your house. And you with your beautiful yellow dress was everything good in this world.

"I really really like you " he finally said at the end of the day, when the moon was already raising and the stars where with it.

"Honestly, I do too. Since we first met" and yes, maybe you didn't met since kids, or probably you met like 3 weeks ago, he don't care. He only care that you did love him and the falling was mutual.

" I-I promise that we- you will marry me! And I'll my last name would be now yours to" he said while being all red in his cute cheeks, and when you started to laugh, he took out his pocket a candy ring "Huh? Is that-?" His face was now every color "YES! IT IS A CANDY RING, AND IS JUST TO KNOW THAT YOU WILL KEP YOUR PROMISE" and he put the (candy) ring in you finger.

"Wow, I never knew mom was the one to asked that first" the young one in the family was amazed that even her eyes shine like sparkles "Oh honey, and he skipped the part when he cried and thanked god" you said while going out the kitchen and sitting next to your husband and daughter.

And yes, he thanked god for being alive the same year as you, he thanked god when you said yes to his question while holding a diamond ring, he thanked god when you give him the pregnancy test showing two lines almost together, he thanked god when you told him to name you daughter.

and like in the day you two where named "husband and wife" he promise to love you for all the rest if your life, and he is 100% sure he will keep that.

KUROO TETSUROOO IM LOOKING AT YOU, Manjiro Sano, ARMIN ARLET, yuji itadori, ken ryuguji, TAKASHI MITSUYA, suguru getou and who ever you want.

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gardenofkore · 4 years ago

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- E lo princep respos al almirall: -Ques aço que vos volets que yo hi faça? que si fer yo puch , -volenters ho fare.- Yo , dix lalmirall , quem façats ades venir la filla del rey Manfre, germana de madona la regina Darago, que vos tenits en vostra preso aci el castell del Hou , ab aquelles dones e donzelles qui soes bi sien ; e quem façats lo castell e la vila Discle retre . - E lo princep respos , queu faria volenters. E tantost trames un seu cavaller en terra ab un leny armat, e amena madona la infanta , germana de madona la regina , ab quatre donzelles e dues dones viudes. E lalmirall reebe les ab gran goig e ab gran alegre , e ajenollas, e besa la ma a madona la infanta.

Ramon Muntaner, CRÓNICA CATALANA, p. 221

Beatrice was born (probably) in Palermo around 1260. She was the first child and only daughter of Manfredi I of Sicily and his second wife, the Epirote princess Helena Angelina Doukaina (“[…] et idem helenam despoti regis emathie filiam sibi matrimonialiter coppulavit, ex quibus nata fuit Beatrix.”, Bartholomaeus de Neocastro, Historia Sicula, in Giuseppe Del Re, Cronisti e Scrittori sincroni Napoletani editi ed inediti, p. 419). It’s quite plausible the baby had been named after Manfredi’s first wife, Beatrice of Savoy (mother of Costanza, who will later become Queen consort of Aragon and co-regnant of Sicily). The little princess would soon be followed by three brothers: Enrico, Federico and Enzo (also called Anselmo or Azzolino). With three sons, Manfredi must have thought his succession was secured.

Beatrice’s father was one Federico II of Sicily’s many illegitimate children, although born from his most beloved mistress (and possibly fourth and last wife), Bianca Lancia. Since his father’s death in 1250, Manfredi had governed the Kingdom of Sicily on behalf firstly of his (legitimate) half-brother Corrado and, after his death in 1254, of Corrado’s son, Corradino. In 1258, two years prior Beatrice’s birth, Manfredi had been crowned King of Sicily in Palermo’s Cathedral, de facto usurping his half-nephew’s rights.

Like it had happened with Federico, Manfredi was soon opposed by the Papacy, which didn’t approve of the Hohenstaufen’s rule over Sicily (and Southern Italy with it) and the role of the King as the champion of the Ghibellines faction. In 1263, Urban VI managed to convince Charles of Anjou, younger brother of Louis IX the Saint, to present himself as a contender to the Sicilian throne. Three years later, on January 6th 1266, the French duke was crowned King of Sicily by the Pope in Rome, thus overthrowing Manfredi. On February 26th, in Benevento, the usurped King then tried to get back his kingdom by facing Charles in the open field, but failed and lost his life while fighting.

The now widowed Queen Helena had previously fled to Lucera (in Apulia) with her children (Beatrice was now six), her sister-in-law Costanza, and her step-daughter, the illegitimate Flordelis, where she thought they would be safer. When they got news of the disaster of Benevento and Manfredi’s death, they fled to Trani from where they planned to set off to Epirus. The unfortunate party was instead betrayed and handed off to the Angevin. On March 6th night, Helena and the children were taken hostage and later separated. The Queen was sent at first to Lagopesole (in Basilicata) and finally to Nocera Christianorum (now Nocera Inferiore), where she would die still in captivity in 1271.

Enrico, Federico and Enzo were taken to Castel del Monte. Following Corradino’s death in 1268, Manfredi’s young sons (the oldest, Enrico, was just four at the time of his capture) were, to all effects, the rightful heirs to the Sicilian throne. It’s undoubtful Charles must have wanted them gone, or at least forgotten. In 1300 they were moved to Naples, in Castel dell’Ovo (which, at that time, was called San Salvatore a mare), under the order of the new Angevin king, Charles II. According to some sources, Federico and Enzo died there within the short span of a year. As for Enrico, he died alone and miserable in October 1318, he was 56.

As for Beatrice, her fate was more merciful compared to that of her mother and brothers and, for that, she had to thank her sex, which made her harmless in Charles’ eyes (as long as she was left unmarried). After being separated from her family (she will never see them again), the six years old princess was, like her brothers, held captive (although not together) in Castel del Monte. In 1271, she was moved to Naples, in Castel dell’Ovo, under the guardianship of its keeper, a French nobleman called either Landolfo or Radolfo Ytolant. Manfredi’s daughter is mentioned in a rescript of Charles dated March 5th 1272, from which we learn she had been granted at least a maid (“V Marcii xv indictionis. Neapoli. Scriptum est Iustitiario et erario Terre laboris etc. Cum ex computo facto per magistrum rationalem Nicolaum Buccellum etc. cum Landulfo milite castellano castri nostri Salvatoris ad mare de Neapoli pro expensis filie quondam Manfridi Principis Tarentini et damicelle sue. ac filie quondam comitis Iordani et damicelle sue dicto castellano in unc. auri novem et taren. sex de pecunia presentis generalis subventionis residuorum quolibet vel qua canque alia etc. persolvatis. non obstante etc. Recepturus etc.”, Monumenti n. XLIV. in Domenico Forges Davanzati, Dissertazione sulla seconda moglie del re Manfredi e su’ loro figliuoli, p. XLIII-XLIV). Like it had happened with her mother, and unlike her brothers, it appears Beatrice was treated with courtesy and respect. In her misfortune, she could count on the company of a fellow prisoner and distant relative, the daughter of Giordano Lancia d’Agliano, who was her grandmother Bianca Lancia’s cousin and had been a loyal supporter of her father, Manfredi.

On Easter Day of 1282, an anti-Angevin rebellion sparkled in Palermo would soon transform itself into a war to get rid of the so much hated Frenchmen, the so-called War of the Sicilian Vespers. It’s dubious that, close in her prison, Beatrice came to know about it. She might have also been surprised to know that her half-sister, Costanza, had been asked by a delegation of fellow Sicilians to take possession of what was hers by right (the throne) as she was their “naturalis domina”. Her rights were shared with her husband, Pedro III of Aragon, who would personally take part in the war and be rewarded with a joint coronation in November 1282.

For Beatrice, everything changed in 1284. On June 4th, Italian Admiral Ruggero di Lauria, at the service of the Aragonese King (he was also Costanza’s milk brother), defeated the Angevin fleet just offshore from Naples and took Carlo II prisoner. Being in clear superiority, the Sicilians could now demand (among many requests) the release of Princess Beatrice. Carlo’s eldest son and heir, Carlo Martello Prince of Salerno, could nothing other than obliging them. (“Siciliani autem , & omnes faventes Petro Aragonum, incontinenti de ipsorum victoria plurimum exultantes, Nuncios, & Legatos ad quoddam Castrum ex parte Principis direxerunt , ubi quaedam filia quondam Domini Regis Manfredi sub custodia tenebatur , ut dicta filia fine ullo remedio laxaretur , quae statim fuit antedictis Legatis , & Nunciis restituta.”, Anonimo Regiense, Memoriale Potestatum Regiensium. Gestorumque iis Temporibus. Ab anno 1154 usque ad Annum 1290, in Ludovico Antonio Muratori, Rerum Italicarum scriptores ab anno aerae christianae quingentesimo ad millesimumquingentesimum, vol. VIII, p. 1158).

Beatrice, finally free, left Castel dell’Ovo headed for Capri, where the Admiral was waiting for her. She had spent 18 long years in captivity and was now 24. From Capri she reached Sicily, where she was warmly welcomed and with a lot of enthusiasm, to meet her half-sister Costanza.

As the Queen’s closest free relative (both Pedro and Costanza had no interest in asking for Enrico’s release since, as a male, he had more rights than Costanza to inherit the throne), Beatrice had a great political value. At first, Ranieri Della Gherardesca’s name came up. He was the son of that Count Gherardo who had fought together with the unfortunate Corradino (the sisters’ royal cousin), and for that had been beheaded in Naples in 1268 alongside his liege. Finally the perfect candidate was found. Manfredo of Saluzzo was born in 1262 and was the son of Marquis Tommaso I and his wife Luigia of Ceva. Like Beatrice, Manfredo was strongly related to Costanza, specifically, he was her nephew since Tommaso and the Sicilian Queen were half-siblings (they were both Beatrice of Savoy’s children).

The marriage contract between the two is dated July 3rd 1286 and the contracting parties are on one side “la serenissima signora constanza regina dy aragon e dy sicilia e dil ducato de puglia principato di capua” and, on the other side “il marchexe thomas di sa lucio signore de conio una cum mạdona alexia soa moglie”. Tommaso declares that Manfredi will inherit his title, privileges and possession upon his death. If, after the marriage is celebrated, Manfredi were to die first, Beatrice would enjoy possession of the castle and some properties. The Marquise Luisa declares to agree with her husband’s decision (“[…] e a tuto questo la marchexa aloysia madre dy manfredo consenty”, Gioffredo Della Chiesa, Cronaca di Saluzzo, p. 165-166). The union was formally celebrated the year after.

Beatrice bore Manfredi two children: Caterina and Federico, born presumably in 1287 (“Et da questa beatrix haue uno figlolo chiamato fredericho et una figlola chiamata Kterina” Gioffredo Della Chiesa, Cronaca di Saluzzo, p. 185). In 1296 Tommaso died, so Manfredi inherited the marquisate and Beatrice became Marquise consort of Saluzzo. She will die eleven years later at 47, on November 19th 1307 (“Venne a morte nel dì 19 novembre di quest’anno Beatrice di Sicilia moglie del nostro marchese Manfredo, e noi ne accertiamo il segnato giorno col mezzo del rituale del monastero di Revello , nel quale leggesi annotato: 19 novembris anniversarium d. Beatricis filiae quondam d. Manfredi regis Ceciliae et uxoris d. Manfredi primogeniti d. Thomae marchionis Saluciarum, quae huic monasterio quingen- tas untias in suo testamento legavit.” Delfino Muletti, Memorie storico-diplomatiche appartenenti alla città ed ai marchesi di Saluzzo, vol III, p. 76). Her husband would quickly remarry with Isabella Doria, daughter of Genoese patricians Bernabò Doria and Eleonora Fieschi. Isabella would give birth to five more children: Manfredi, Bonifacio, Teodoro, Violante and Eleonora.

As of Beatrice’s children, Caterina would marry Guglielmo Enganna, Lord of Barge (“Catherina figlola dy manfredo e de la prima moglie fu sorella dy padre e dy madre dy fede rico e fu moglie duno missere gulielmo ingana capo dy parte gebellina in questy cartiery dil pie monty verso bargie.”, Gioffredo Della Chiesa, Cronaca di Saluzzo, p. 256). Federico’s fate would be more complicated. Like many mothers before and after her, Isabella Doria wished to see her own firstborn, Manfredi, succeeded his father rather than her step-son. The new Marchioness of Saluzzo successfully instigated her husband against his son to the point the Marquis. in a donatio mortis causa dated 1325, disinherited Federico in favour of the second son (Federico would have settled with just his late mother’s belongings), Manfredi (“Et questo faceua a instigatione de la moglie che lo infestaua a cossi fare.” Gioffredo Della Chiesa, Cronaca di Saluzzo, p. 224). Federico’s natural rights were later acknowledged by an arbitral award proclaimed in 1329 by his paternal uncles Giovanni and Giorgio of Saluzzo, and finally, an arbitration verdict dated 1334 and issued by Guglielmo Earl of Biandrate and Aimone of Savoy. As a condition of peace, the future Marquis should have granted his younger brother the castle and villa of Cardè as a fief. Stung by this defeat, Manfredi IV, his wife Isabella and beloved son Manfredi retired to Cortemilla. Federico died in 1336 and was succeeded by his son Tommaso, who would inherit his father’s rights and feud with the two Manfredi's. After being defeated by his half-uncle in 1341 (the older Manfredi, his grandfather, had died the year before), resulting in losing his titles, possessions and freedom, Tommaso would later regain what was of his right and rule as Marquis of Saluzzo.

Sources

-ANONIMO REGIENSE, Memoriale Potestatum Regiensium. Gestorumque iis Temporibus. Ab anno 1154 usque ad Annum 1290, in Ludovico Antonio Muratori, Rerum Italicarum scriptores ab anno aerae christianae quingentesimo ad millesimumquingentesimum, vol. VIII

-BARTHOLOMAEUS DE NEOCASTRO, Historia Sicula, in Giuseppe Del Re, Cronisti e Scrittori sincroni Napoletani editi ed inediti

- DEL GIUDICE GIUSEPPE, La famiglia di Re Manfredi

- DELLA CHIESA, GIOFFREDO, Cronaca di Saluzzo

-FORGES DAVANZATI, DOMENICO, Dissertazione sulla seconda moglie del re Manfredi e su’ loro figliuoli

- LANCIA, MANFREDI, Il complicato matrimonio di Beatrice di Sicilia

-Monferrato. Saluzzo

-MULETTI, DELFINO, Memorie storico-diplomatiche appartenenti alla città ed ai marchesi di Saluzzo, vol II-III

- MUNTANER, RAMON, Crónica catalana

- SABA MALASPINA, Rerum Sicularum

- SAVIO, CARLO FEDELE, Cardè. Cenni storici (1207-1922)

-Sicily/Naples: Counts & Kings

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dearly · 4 years ago

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The industry execs tasked with promoting her debut didn’t view Madonna’s suppurating sexuality as a marketing godsend, but rather, as some icky barrier to overcome. The best marketing strategy her label could come up with was to pass her off as black (which explains why her photo was excluded from copies of her first single, “Everybody”). As Reggie Lucas, producer of her eponymous debut, explained, “Managers, record company executives, we met a lot of those people together, and the first thing that you would see is these people were just appalled with Madona.”

“I mean, they just thought she was just some horrible person,” Lucas told me. “They used offensive language to describe her, and without naming names, some of these people became her lifelong business employees and representatives. But as soon as it became clear that she was going to be a major economic success, they very quickly reversed their decision.”

Alina Simone, “Madonnaland”

#alina simone #madonna

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ducavalentinos · 5 years ago

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I've heard that Cesare raped Caterina Sforza after her capture. Is there any evidence for that?

Yeah, it’s a rumour. I actually talked more about that here.

But no, there is no evidence for this. It’s hearsay that seems to have been initiated by the total inappropriate commentary of Trivulzio in Milan when he heard of Caterina’s capture saying she wouldn’t lack for f… which then, not suprising, got even more elaborated by Sanuto's fanciful mind who added in his Diarii that Cesare: “Teneva detta Madona (la qual é belissima dona, fiola del Ducha Galeazo di Milan) di zorno e di note in la sna camera, con la quale– judicio omnium–si deva piacer.” And in 1893 Pasolini, one of Caterina’s main biographers, added that Cesare even boasted about his conquest with her etc, which Chamberlin, a Borgia scholar duly repeats in his own bio about the Borgia family, but Pasolini’s source comes from the incredibly unreliable manuscript published in 1636 by Bernadino Babotti named: Vita di D. Rodrigo Borgia, poi pontefice Alessandro VI e del duca Valentino.

No contemporary sources, who were generally hostile to Cesare and his father, ever mentioned anything about this “affair”, and the few that did, like Sanuto above didn’t said anything about rape. And they certainly could have, it’s not like they were shy or afraid of spreading all types of rumours about Cesare out there. They were already saying Cesare had incestuous relations with his sister, and later on they would attribute to him an extensive list of murders, including his dear cousin Giovanni and his own brother, the Duke of Gandia, as well as perversions of all kinds and kidnapping of women. So why would they be silenced about Caterina? esp. if it was true?

The most sensible source about all this is comes from Bernadi, who only writes in his chronicles of Forlì about the injuries on Caterina’s body, but he doesn’t say from whom he got that information from. Did he see it himself? I find that unlikely. Did one of Caterina’s servants told him? maybe so, but if that was the case, he could have said that, or at least said he heard from someone close to her. And if this is correct, it could have been the result of Caterina’s hard days during and after the siege at the citadel of Forlì, or it could have been caused by her other captors, the French/Gascons, who were also dangerous men. Caterina was not only in Cesare’s custody, there was some back and forth of her custody between the French/Gascon’s captains and Cesare. And I mean, there’s an anecdote iirc that claims a Gascon captain raised his sword and wanted to cut Caterina’s head off if Cesare didn’t pay what he had promised. So you know, I don’t think we can seriously claim that Cesare was the only man there capable of harming her. I think is fair to say is a plausibility that he might have, just as for all the other men around her, but plausibility is far from conviction, and since there is lack of concrete evidence, there’s only speculations and different possibilities. We will never know the truth. Claiming one or the other as fact is a mistake and irresponsible imo.

#anon ask #tw: rape mention #cesare borgia #césar borgia #house borgia #i think this might have typos bc i'm on my second glass of wine #so i apologize in advance #and i will repeat what i said some other day: it's not impossible that he did it #he was a man; a man of his times and a man in war #but to say he def. did it as a fact as i've seen in some bios ( 'important' borgia bios/ cesare bios no less) is ridiculous and sloppy work #it seems like his reputation that is largely made up by the dark legend around him and his family is enough proof that he did it #they act like he was the only man capable of doing it and like the other captains didn't had a bad record with violence against women #when that's far from being the case #on this his record was pretty non-existent even

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buonoroberto · 5 years ago

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a starter for alina @morethanatitle

He came to England a little unprepared. His English quite rusty he was lucky to go around with his French that was still in fashion enough to get him into places. Though as he had discovered, the streets of London were just as dangerous as those of any other big city and there his French would get him a fist in the face so he stopped saying words and started showing things with his things, adding Italian. It worked for him to pretend to be a merchant as many of his countrymen profited from doing business with England. At least they could do that.

Kate helped him with ideas and while he loved all of them, it was not in her human powers to manage all his errands and he offered himself to go the seamstress {apparently a good friend, the best of the best etc.} and while she was mortified to let a king go into those parts of the city {which were by no means shabby but it was a lovely upper-middle-class area}, he told her that she surely did not mean to say he was not a man enough to set his feet on the soil where decent people walk and that he could survive with just one of his guard. So, he and Amaro were set on adventure. The two men were awkwardly lost in the lovely streets of London, already being slowly filled with life again after the devastating Plague.

So when it usually happens {the cliche} as they were about to give up,both cursing in Italian. They were standing in front of the humble home of the seamstress whose name was Alina and both of them were secretly thanking God that they might have found the right one. A knock on the door should let them know. ‘Madona’, Robbie said, assuming the young lady was married. He was impatient and his tone was so but he corrected himself and smiled. He was not a king here, he was a simple merchant. ‘Miss Berkshire has sent me here as she claims you to be the best seamstress in London.’ He said in the best English he could produce.

#morethanatitle #gphq.location // england

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thedeadanonpoetssociety · 5 years ago

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A regret

You are just like my town’s gothic church where I took first communion ages ago, professing a faith that now I see was never any genuine. You are decades of stone upon stone in careful solidness with a sharp and dark index finger pointing to (according to the prayer it took me a while to catch during mass and likely whispered in vain in the few times I took the trouble to do so) what I should aspire to and yet never quite feel worthy of, little as I am.

You are tall walls with a ceiling which remind me of how looking straight at the sky for too long rends me dizzy and breathless, as though I was drowning, pushing me mercilessly back to the ground. You are fearing whispered silences in neutral colors among the echoes of my own steps; tiny shimmering rays of sunshine coming through the few and distant narrow stained-glass windows in an attempt to blow up a new spark of life into objects that I mostly remember under rather annoyingly pale artificial lighting.

You are like the figures, always quite tall and imponent in their graceful and dutiful stagedly static postures and their eyes on slightly bent heads peering over me in expressions of scary and rather depressing over-the-top melancholy in a purity that does not let me return their gaze properly.

Some hiding in the shadows of a few corners, their dead bodies shown as the first step into the holiness of their official representations right above, longing in a sort of neglected jealousy for devotees who certainly more easily remember the Madona the place was named after for her strategic centered place above the altar in what should be the sky an aldult and agonizing version of her famous son turns his head towards a bit sideways.

Others, humble in their popularity, dare to stand near the door for a chance of quick worship in an hour of deep need. Others don’t seem to mind their seats without flowers, for they know their places in Heaven for what they are told to have done on earth. You are every flower at their feet, you are the wood of the pews hoping not to vacilate under the weight of so many sinful pairs of knees bent in prayers of repent, sincere or not.

You are the golden emergency lights turned on a long confession day that soon became night over the wait for a last excited word and instruction from the priest for the Big Sunday, when he recalls childhood in gestures of big hands and strong voice in the middle of that majestic darkness like the angel from the Revelations; like a dream, quiet and eerie in a way, with no defining shape, causing my heart to pound within my chest and my voice to hesitate while I spoke to the girl next to me. You are like the so-called home of a god I may have never believed in, although I tried. You are the red timid light I was taught the angel held to indicate the spiritual presence of the man over the cross.

_______________

. The Dead Anon Poets Society .

#i'm sorry if this was prose but it's still poetry to me #the dead anon poets society #poetry #fav daps poems #love poems #sarah #submission

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i-am-church-the-cat · 6 years ago

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Play Me A Memory

So, I finished it. It was long. I wrote the last few parts about ready to keel over so don’t kill me, please. Anyway, here’s the singer!Cyrus and pianist!TJ fic I promised y’all

Word Count: 10k+

--------

Cyrus and Jonah paced around backstage, both boys trying to not have panic attacks. Andi looked at them with a concerned expression, trying to think of a way to calm them down. She played with her girlfriend Buffy’s fingers as she thought, leaning back into the other girl. Buffy was pretending to be exasperated by the boys’ nervousness, but Buffy was also worried about what was coming next. The friends were about to perform a set in front of hundreds of people. Plus, scouts from Westerlin Music and Sound Academy were rumored to be in the crowd.

Westerlin Music and Sound Academy was the top music school on the continent. It had been the band’s dream to go there since they had made the band back in freshman year. Jonah had started in music in seventh grade and when track and basketball season had both finished, Buffy had ended up letting her dad teach her how to play the drums. In eighth grade, the two had found out that Andi had a secret talent: she could play the keyboard. They just happened to discover this talent when they overheard Andi playing a song she was going to use to confess her feelings to Buffy. It worked pretty well, in the girls’ opinions.

They now had a drummer, a keyboard player, and a lead guitarist/lead singer. Bowie had even let them use the Red Rooster for practices and loaned them instruments. The only problem was that Jonah couldn't cover all the vocals himself and Andi and Buffy were both hopeless in that aspect. Plus, all great bands had a bassist, Jonah implored. So, they went in search of one. They did auditions for weeks, but they were no closer to finding anyone who fit with them. They had officially given up the summer before sophomore year. Then one day, Cyrus came with them to one of their practices at the Red Rooster. He was doing homework while the band worked on one particularly difficult song.

“Uggh”, Jonah exclaimed after missing another note. “I can’t do this. This song is supposed to be split between a bassist and an electric guitarist. It’s too much.” The girl’s looked at the singer nervously, trying to figure out a way to calm him down, but they knew he was right.

“Let me see”, Cyrus said, grabbing the sheet music off of Jonah’s stand. He examined it before looking over to the girl’s and asking if there was more. They found another copy and gave it to him. Cyrus set the copy on a stand, grabbed a bass off of a stand in the corner of the room, and then nodded at Buffy to count them in. She did and started playing, Andi joining in and soon Jonah. They were coming upon the point where the bass was supposed to join in and they were sure it was going to be terrible. But the notes came and Cyrus did the unimaginable. He played perfectly, his notes fluid and precise. But he wasn’t done. Jonah started singing and Andi was preparing to try to do back up, but before she could, Cyrus cut her off. His voice was surprisingly pleasing to hear and he hit the notes almost better than Jonah. The band played the entire song all the way through and when they were done, Jonah, Andi, and Buffy turned to stare incredulously at the Jewish boy who was giving them a bright smile.

Finally, Buffy couldn’t take anymore, “How in the world did you know how to do that. You can play bass? You can SING?! Why didn’t you tell us, you knew we were looking for a backup singer. How did we not know this?”

Cyrus’s smile turned shy. “My step-dad had been teaching me how to play the bass. You guys were all so musically talented and I wanted to be able to do something as well, too, so I asked him to teach me. Then, when my voice changed, I found I could sing really well. I already knew I had perfect pitch but I had never been able to actually hit the notes before. So, I practiced a little bit before I was confident enough to show you guys. I was planning on surprising you, but I figured that you needed me right now.”

The group continued to stare at the boy in shock. Suddenly, a large smile broke out on Jonah’s face. “Well girls, It looks like we have our last member.”

Ever since then, they had been practicing and performing together in Shadyside and surrounding cities. Not everyone liked them, but the amount of support they got was a pleasant surprise. They had a small following and were known throughout Grant as being “surprisingly pretty great for a cover band”, comments of the school newspaper. They had gotten better over the last two years and had decided to participate in Utah’s Battle of the Band’s their senior year. They had gotten all the way to the finals, where the two band’s that were left would perform a set of about five songs. The had argued about the set list for days before eventually settling on:

“Runaway” Bon Jovi

“Lady Madona” The Beatles

“All the Way from Memphis” Mott The Hoople

“Should I Stay or Should I Go” The Clash

“Let It Be” The Beatles

Buffy and Jonah had argued that they shouldn’t do two songs by the same artists, or if they were it was going to be Bon Jovi, but Cyrus and Andi had argued that, though Bon Jovi was a rock classic, The Beatles are indisputably one of the best bands of all time and would be more likely to gain them favor with the judges. In the end, Buffy and Jonah couldn’t dispute that, ergo, two Beatles’ songs.

Now, here they were, about to perform in front of the largest crowd they had ever faced(except for Buffy who had played and won the girls state championship all four years of high school) and two of their members were about to spontaneously combust. Buffy would have joined the boys in their pacing, but she was busy holding Andi, her girlfriend of four years now. As the nerves started to get the better of her, Buffy pulled the smaller girl closer to her chest.

The boys were still performing their destructive thought processes when a stagehand came up to the group. The four immediately whipped their heads toward them and they took a slight step back. “Uh, you’re on in five”, they told the group before hurrying off to whatever their next task was. This, surprisingly, seemed to calm Jonah, Buffy, and Cyrus down. The four of them exchanged glances with each other before heading over to the side of the stage. They looked out onto the stage where their competition was currently performing. They were good, that was a fact none of them could deny. But they were going to win. They were going to play until their bodies gave out until they couldn’t produce one more note, and they were going to win. It was a fact no one could dispute.

The other band finished their set and were met with roaring applause. The members smiled smugly at the small town kids as they passed them. The group was unfazed. They approached their respective instruments calmly and got set. They faced the crowd and they each took a deep breath. Buffy counted them off and then it was only them and the music. They had practiced this set so many times, they had had dreams of playing it. Even the toughest music critic wouldn’t be able to find a flaw in the band’s performance. The songs might not have been their own, but it was their music. They made it come alive unlike anyone in that hall had ever seen. The crowd was in awe.

As the last note faded into silence, the band became acutely aware of the crowd. Jonah was sure he was about to start panicking when a roar went through the crowd. The audience rose like a wave, cheering louder than even when Buffy had scored the winning basket in the state championship a few months ago. The band looked out in wonder as the crowd chanted their name. It was something out of a dream. Buffy, ever the leader, took Andi by the hand and pulled her up to where the boys stood together. The other band trudged onto the stage solemnly. The two competitors stood next to each other as the announcer called the winners. The other group never had a chance.

-----

Two weeks later, Cyrus woke up to his phone ringing off the hook. “Hello”, he answered, not even bothering to check it.

“CYRUS!”, screamed Andi on the other line. “Guess who just reached out to Bowie?”

“A hand?”, Cyrus answered jokingly.

“Westerlin Music and Sound Academy, dummy”, Buffy, who had taken the phone from Andi, answered. Cyrus was awake.

“No way, what did they want to talk about?”

“They want a meeting with us”, Buffy replied. Cyrus could hear Andi squealing in the background.

“Oh my god, does Jonah know?”, Cyrus asked, not believing his ears.

“No, we were just about to tell him”, Andi answered, having reclaimed the phone.

“Here lets all facetime him”, Cyrus offered, pulling the phone away from his face. Andi hummed her consent and hung up. Cyrus opened the facetime app and got on a joint call with Jonah and Andi. Andi picked up and the window showed her and Buffy curled up together on the couch. Buffy’s dad was on a business trip for the weekend, so Buffy was staying with her girlfriend. Cyrus had been so excited when they had gotten together, even if he did end up third-wheeling a lot. They were so perfect together and Cyrus couldn’t be happier.

Jonah picked up on the third ring, looking rumpled and sleep-deprived. “What’s so important that you have to call me at 9:40 in the morning?”, he asked blearily.

“JONAH!”, Andi and Cyrus shrieked in unison, causing the older boy to jump. “Westerlin Music and Sound Academy want to meet with us!”

The Boy’s face broke into a huge smile as he sat up in his bed. “No way, that’s awesome! When?”

“This Friday at one o’clock at the Red Rooster”, Buffy answered. The band had made the Red Rooster their official headquarters junior year, the same year that Bowie had bought it from its owner to keep it from becoming another chain store. The band had performed to raise money to put in a small recording studio for when they started recording some of Jonah’s songs. It was the perfect place to meet people who had an interest in them.

“Oh my god, this is so amazing”, Andi squealed again. Cyrus and the others agreed. They had been hoping for something like this for forever. Cyrus wasn’t surprised, though. Everyone had been great at the BotB. It was something these guys deserved after all the long hours they had put in. Not to mention how stressed Buffy and Jonah were.

The band talked for a while before deciding to meet at the Spoon for celebratory milkshakes. Buffy said you shouldn’t celebrate before the game is over, but one look from her girlfriend ended that argument. They weren't going to meet until noon, so Cyrus decided to pull up Westerlin’s website for like, the umpteenth time since the boy had heard about them. Its header was a sprawling picture of the campus with a menu bar below it. Cyrus scrolled through the upcoming events before his eye caught one:

Classical Training Program Auditions

Monday, May 8th, 9:00 am

Robert Basil Music Hall, Hansen, Utah

Hey, that isn’t too far from here, Cyrus thought. Maybe he could convince the others to come. Then, he thought of the implications of the band at a classical audition. Nah. Cyrus was really the only one in the band who could enjoy the intricacies of classical music. The others, though able to enjoy a few pieces every now and again, would not be able to sit through multiple hours of music without lyrics in a fancy hall. Despite this, Cyrus felt an urge to go. If he was correct in assuming that Westerlin wanted him and the band to attend the school, he should start paying attention to other genres and potential rivals. The thought of being against anyone was slightly disconcerting, but Cyrus knew that if he wanted to attend the school, he would have to outperform the best of the best. The only problem was that he needed to find the best, first.

Cyrus continued to scroll through the University’s website until it was time to leave. He told his mom that he was going out with the others and that he would be back in a few hours. Cyrus grabbed his wallet and keys and was soon walking down toward the diner. Normally he would drive, but he wanted to enjoy the scenery that came with Shadyside in the springtime. He was always so stressed about school or the band or his future, that Cyrus rarely took time to just look around. The walk was not too long but it gave him ample time to just relax and take everything in. He enjoyed the relative silence knowing that it would be quite ruined when he reached he and his friend’s normal hangout. Cyrus was almost tired of being right.

As soon as the boy walked into the confines of the blue and white eatery, he was assaulted by loud sounds and the invasion of his personal space. The Spoon was packed. People were spilling out of the booths and crowding around the tables. Some friends and significant others were sitting on each other's laps. Cyrus was sure that they had exceeded the legal limit for customers, but he shook that thought out of his head. He looked around and found his friends sitting in a secluded booth in the corner. The small teen pushed through the crowd to reach his three friends.

Andi squealed when she saw him approaching. “Westerlin, guys! Can you believe it?” Her cry was answered by a fond look from Buffy, a small shake of the head from Jonah, and a bright smile from Cyrus. The group talked about what could happen at the meeting, all the sets they would play at the annual music presentation put on by the school, and what classes they could end up taking. The group talked for hours, the diner slowly emptying of its other patrons. When it started getting the dark, the band realized the time.

“Oh, we should get going”, Andi said, nudging her girlfriend.

“Date night?”, Cyrus asked as the couples slid out of the booth.

“Date night”, Buffy confirmed before they were out the door. Cyrus got up and switched to the other side to talk to Jonah better. The other boy gave him a smile, though it was clear to Cyrus that the boy wasn’t all there. Probably thinking about song lyrics, Cyrus thought as he sipped his drink. The two boys sat in comfortable silence while the sky steadily got darker. Cyrus supposed he would have to go home soon, but his thoughts were interrupted when he noticed Jonah staring at him.

“What?”, Cyrus asked, coming to attention.

“I think I like someone.” This was quite a shock to Cyrus. Jonah had had a plethora of girlfriends in middle school but after his second break-up with Amber, he hadn’t dated anyone. Cyrus had started to think that maybe Jonah was ace/aro and that dating the girls in middle school was just what he thought he should do, like what he did with Iris. This was a relatively big announcement.

“Really?”, Cyrus said loudly and Jonah gave him a look. “What’s her name?”, he asked in a quieter tone.

“Um, well”, Jonah began, looking down at the table, his hands fidgeting nervously. “It’s not a girl.”

Cyrus smiled and took Jonah’s fidgeting hands. The other boy looked up and Cyrus gave him the most reassuring smile he could muster.

“What’s his name?”, Cyrus asked softly.

“H-His name’s Reed. You don’t know him. I met him at the concert a few weeks ago and we’ve been talking. I-I think I really like him, Cy”, Jonah said softly. “Also, I’m bi, by the way.”

“Well, I’m glad you could come to me with this. Does Reed know you like him?”

“I don’t think so, I only figured it out while I was sitting here.”

“Well you can be a little oblivious, Jonah Beck”, Cyrus teased. Jonah rolled his eyes and nudged Cyrus’s arm. The two boys smiled at each other for a bit before Cyrus realized that he should probably leave if he wants to get up early enough to make it to the audition’s tomorrow. The boy’s exchanged ‘good-nights’ and went there separate ways.

-----

TJ tugged at his suit nervously adjusting his collar and his cuffs. His friend Reed noticed his fidgeting and tugged his hands away from his clothes.

“Hey, calm down. You’ve been practicing for weeks, and even my punk ass knows that you’re awesome. You’re going to rock this”, he insisted, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him as if it would help loosen him up.

“He’s right, dude”, his other friend Marty agreed. “You’ve practiced your butt off. There’s no way they won’t take you.” TJ smiled gratefully at his friends. TJ had known Reed since kindergarten, and TJ and Marty had played basketball together before track took over Marty’s life. TJ and Reed dated in middle school, and TJ had really gotten to know Marty after Marty broke up with Reed freshman year. TJ had also dated Marty for a bit, but they had soon come to terms that they were better off as friends.

Reed and Marty had made a duo thing sophomore year, and they had already flown through their audition last week with their guitar/drum duo. They wouldn’t be getting their results for another week, but it was pretty clear that they had been the best group there. Now, TJ was at his own audition and he was freaking out. But not about what his friends thought.

“Thanks, guys, but I’ve worked harder for this than basketball. It’s just”, TJ paused, scanning the crowd again before turning back to his friends. “He’s not here.”

The two bandmates exchanged glances before turning back to the pianist. Marty offered him a sympathetic smile, but Reed gave him a look. TJ knew how they felt about his boyfriend, trust him he knew, but Alex had been TJ’s constant since his dad left. Yeah, he had Reed and Marty, but they had been to close to the situation and they didn’t really know how to help. Alex had held him up while TJ tried to take care of his mom and sister, and they had been together for the last two years. In those two years, things had become more strained between them, though, and the relationship probably wasn’t worth what TJ did to maintain it. Still, he didn’t want to give it up, and it wasn’t like Alex was trying to destroy their relationship. Though, he wasn’t doing much to preserve it, either.

Like today. Alex had been busy with family stuff the past few weeks, so they hadn’t gotten to see each other as much. He had promised that he would come to TJ’s audition and support him, but it was almost time for him to go on and Alex was nowhere to be seen. TJ checked his phone again, but there were no new messages from his boyfriend. The performer on stage was coming to their finale and it was almost time for TJ to go out. He turned back to his friends who were giving a mixed look of sympathy and encouragement before the stagehand indicated that it was time to go out.

TJ walked out and stood next to the piano before turning to address the judges. “Good morning. I am Tobias Kippen, and I will be playing Liszt's Liebestraume No. 3.” The judges jotted down a few things before the head judge signaled for him to begin. TJ sat down on the bench and took a deep breath before scanning the audience one last time. But the door stayed closed and Alex was nowhere to be seen. His eyes landed on a brown-haired boy at the end of a row. He couldn’t make out much of his features due to the lights in his face, but he could see that he was paying rapt attention, even more than some of the judges. TJ grinned for a reason he didn’t really understand before laying his fingers carefully on the keys. TJ closed his eyes before bringing the first notes to life.

TJ started off rather formal, playing the song as it was written. But as the pace got faster and the notes got louder, he pushed all of his feelings into them, the emotions roaring. The song cooled down and he got smoother, the notes coming out like buds in springtime, as he delved farther into the song. The notes seemed to communicate with each other, sometimes soft, sometimes crying out in bursts. The emotion in the song was the reason why he picked it, he could make people feel things through this song, but now he was regretting putting in so much emotion. He felt like he was tearing out his soul and was showing it for all the world to see. As the song faded out, he was scared to open his eyes. Gently, he pulled his hands away from the instrument and stood up.

Slowly, he turned to face the audience. He meant to look at the judges but he found his eyes landing on the brown-haired boy. His features were still obscured, but his eyes glowed. It was like the boy could feel the same emotions TJ himself was feeling. He found the boy staring right back at him and he was unable to look away. The audience applauded and he realized it was time for him to go. He tore his eyes away from the boy and walked to the eaves. Backstage, his friends were fist pumping and congratulating him. TJ smiled, but his mind drifted back to the boy in the audience. I wonder what his name is, TJ thought before heading off to change. He wouldn’t learn the results for a while, so there was no point in hanging around.

The trip made their way to a diner that they frequently populated and slid into a booth. It wasn’t too busy so a waitress came over right away.

“Hey guys”, the waitress, Sam said. Sam was an honorary member of their group. They had met her the start of sophomore year when she moved from Boston. She was epic, she had the best wingtips TJ ever saw and they really brought out her grey eyes. She had blond hair that was always highlighted with different colors, today’s being purple and green. She had come out as a lesbian at the end of junior year and had stolen Reed and Marty’s potential interests more than once.

“Hey Sam”, TJ said, while the other two scarfed down the fries Sam had knowingly brought to the table.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t go to your audition, Teej, but how did it go?”, Sam asked.

“It was awesome!”, Reed exclaimed, though his mouth was full so it came out more like “if hars aresome”.

“Yeah”, Marty continued. “Seriously, I’m pretty sure that’s the best you’ve ever played, dude.”

TJ shrugged and slumped back in his seat. Marty and Sam exchange looks while Reed continued to fill his mouth. TJ knew why they were concerned, they thought he was hung up about Alex. In all honesty, TJ hadn’t really expected him to show up. Sure, it would’ve been a pleasant surprise, but TJ could tell that whatever Alex had going on was just a way to avoid TJ and their crumbling relationship. No, TJ was bothered that while his relationship was worn and fraying, he was caught up on some guy he saw, one who he wouldn’t even recognize if he saw him again. TJ sighed. I’m all kinds of a mess, he thought. At least I can do music well.

————

Cyrus walked up to his friends who were freaking out in the backroom of Red Rooster Records. They all look quite frazzled, but Cyrus was unusually calm. Maybe because he wasn’t entirely focused on the meeting about to take place. Cyrus hadn’t been able to get the image of that blonde guy at the piano, nor the sound of the piano. He had found the song that the guy, Tobias, had been playing, but it sounded nothing like the way he played it. It just lacked the emotions that the guy’s playing had given him. He could still hear the song playing faintly in his head.

He was snapped out of his memory by Bowie approaching them with a man and a woman in formal attire. They exchanged pleasantries before heading into the studio’s meeting room. The woman explained how they had liked their performance and that they thought the band could go quite far in the music game. They ended their pitch with scholarships to Westerlin for the four of them, and even though they tried to play it cool, Cyrus thought Andi had replied a little too eagerly.

The rest of the meeting was filled with signing papers and discussing the terms of their scholarships. They would all go to classes and they would perform at school venues regularly. They would be playing with other bands that share our style regularly, so it was a key factor to get the best spots in the show so that you more well-known when the entire year plays at the showcase in the winter. The band nodded along, understanding. When they had finished everything, the two officials had shaken their hands and left, leaving the band to freak out in peace.

Cyrus smiled at his friend’s antics as they jumped around the room, Buffy spinning Andi around and Jonah fist pumping. I wonder if that guy got in, Cyrus thought as Bowie patted him on the back.

-------

TJ paced around his room while his sister Amber lounged on his bed. It was a week after the audition and the results were supposed to be sent out today. Reed and Marty had already gotten their letters and were going to start moving up there next month. Sure, TJ had gotten a lot of offers for basketball, and he had some pretty good schools to fall back on, but it was more the fact knowing that even his best couldn’t get him into a school like this.

“Calm down”, Amber said, not even looking up from her phone. “There’s nothing you can do right now. If you get in, you get in if you don’t, you don’t.”

Amber had gotten into NYU last year and according to her, she was “on top of both the class and the social ladder”, though TJ wasn’t so sure since she was home at least two weeks early and checking her messages every other minute. She claimed that she had just finished her exams early and she was looking to see what classes she could sign up for next year. Ok, Amber, flashed across TJ’s mind before the worry set in again. When TJ started to think that maybe he was overexaggerating, his computer pinged.

All thoughts of overexaggerating left his head as he dove toward his desk. He saw the new notification badge and an email from Westerlin beneath it. Now that the email was here, TJ started freaking out even more. He stared at his inbox for a while before grabbing a small rubber basketball he had on his desk and tossing it between his hands. Again, he started to pace, still tossing the basketball. Amber, supposedly sensing his distress, finally looked up from her phone.

“Did you get in?”, she asked, confused.

“Haven’t looked yet”, his simple reply came. She gaped at him before throwing a pillow at his head.

“Well, look already!” TJ glared at his sister before sighing and turning back towards his computer. He sighed and, knowing he had to do it eventually, stalked over to his laptop and clicked on the notification. Amber threw another pillow at him.

------2 MONTHS LATER: MOVING DAY FOR THE GHC+JONAH

Cyrus hauled his luggage up the stairs, trailing behind Jonah as they made they’re way to their dorms. Buffy and Andi had their own buildings across the street and the boys had already helped them up to their dorm, though they had stayed behind to set their’s up. They said that they would help bring up the rest of the boys’ stuff when they were done. So now, Jonah and Cyrus were hauling what they could carry up the dorms to find they’re rooms. Finally, they made it to their floor.

“Looks like we’re across the hall from each other”, Jonah said. There were whiteboards on all the doors, and on two parallel entrances were the names ‘Cyrus Goodman’ and ‘Jonah Beck’, both below two unfamiliar names. Cyrus sighed, disappointed to not be with his friend, but he shot the boy a smile and went to open his door.

Cyrus had opened the door and was carrying his suitcases into the room before he noticed two people lounging on a bed. He looked up suddenly to see two blonde boys, one rather skinny, the other obviously experienced in years of athletics, and rather familiar.

“Oh”, Cyrus said surprised, straightening up. “I’m sorry I didn’t know anyone was in here.”

The athletic boy laughed, and sound that gave Cyrus a slight tingle in the bottom of his stomach.

“It’s no problem dude, Cyrus?”, he asked, standing up and offering his hand, which Cyrus shook, not taking his eyes off of the boy’s. “TJ Kippen. This is my friend, Reed.”

Cyrus was reminded of where he had seen the boy when Jonah appeared.

“Hey Cy, need any…”, Jonah trailed off as his eyes landed on the blonde boy on the bed. Reed’s eyes seemed to shine less with mischief and more with pleasant surprise when Jonah appeared.

“H-Hey”, Jonah stuttered, cheeks darkening.

“Hey”, Reed answered, sitting up a little straighter. The boys just stared at each other while the two roommates looked back and forth between them.

“I’m guessing your Camp Guy?”, TJ asked Jonah, breaking him out of his boy-induced daze.

“Camp Guy?”, he asked with his usual obliviousness while Reed threw a pillow at TJ, giving him a glare. TJ laughed as Reed started to ramble.

“It’s nothing, he’s being an idiot, as usual, let’s go outside”, Reed pulled Jonah from the room and down the hall before Cyrus could interject.

TJ watched the two go with a smile on his face before turning back to Cyrus. He looked over his stuff before picking his luggage up and carrying it to the other bed. Cyrus, already quite surprised at the revelation of his roommate's identity, was even more confused when he did this. Nonetheless, he was able to get some form of thought out.

“I know you”, Cyrus blurted. TJ turned back and raised his eyebrow and Cyrus quickly carried on. “At least, I saw you, at the classical auditions. Y-You were really good. But you introduced yourself as Tobias.”

TJ got a strange look on his face, a mix between surprise, recognition, and another emotion Cyrus couldn’t make out. Suddenly, he was really close and he was staring into Cyrus’s eyes. Cyrus felt like he couldn’t breathe as he stood frozen underneath the other boy’s gaze. With his eyes boring into him, Cyrus couldn’t help but get a little bit lost in them.

“It’s you”, TJ murmured, before his eyes really started to focus on Cyrus. The boys stayed frozen, just looking at each other. Suddenly, TJ seemed to realize what he was doing and quickly backed out of Cyrus’s personal space. Cyrus could immediately feel the lack of his presence.

TJ looked down and cleared his throat nervously. “Well, uh, do need help moving your stuff?

-------FIRST DAY OF CLASSES

TJ cracked open his eyes as his alarm continued to blare. Across the room, Cyrus groaned and rolled up tighter in his cocoon. TJ smiled tiredly at the sight before reaching over to shut off his alarm. Inch by inch he got out of bed, before finally escaping his comfort cave. He sighed before grabbing his bathroom stuff, shaking Cy a little bit to get him moving, and heading to the showers. On his way there, he contemplated the last month since he’d met Cyrus.

It was obvious--to TJ anyway--that they had been drawn to each other from the start, something that could be quite dangerous in the long run. Especially since TJ was still with Alex, though you wouldn’t know unless you had talked to Reed or Marty, which, unfortunately, Cyrus had. Now that Reed and Jonah were dating/not dating and Buffy and Marty had basically been joined at the hip due to their bi-ness and love of percussion, their friend groups were properly tangled. Which might not be the best thing when you’re interested in someone who wasn’t your boyfriend.

As TJ properly tried to decipher the mess he got himself in, he quickly got ready for the first day of classes. Well, the first day of general classes, TJ and the rest of the classical program had already had their first uniform lessons. The classes for the less specific programs and the general course classes only started today. These were the classes the others were taking and the few courses TJ would share with the rest of his friends, some of which also had specific courses.

TJ went back to his room, where Cyrus was stumbling around, gathering his stuff in a tired daze. A smile formed on his face at the sight and help direct the tired boy around the room and out the door. When his roommate had gone, TJ gathered up his stuff and shoved them in his bag, though he doubted he would need many books. He paused for a minute, before getting Cyrus’s stuff ready as well. Cyrus came in, showered, dressed, and a little more awake, while TJ was rechecking their class schedules. TJ looked up with a smile to find Cyrus looking at him sleepily, making TJ’s heart stutter.

“Uh, um”, TJ articulated gracefully, pulling his eyes away from the brunette. “We should get going. Is Jonah up?”

“Uh, yeah, he said he’d meet us downstairs”, Cyrus replied, turning his face away, but not before TJ caught a slight blush on it.

“Cool, I guess we should head down, then”, TJ said offering Cyrus his bag, which he accepted bashfully. The two roommates then made they’re way downstairs where they found Reed and Jonah talking with Marty shooting Reed looks that he was ignoring.

“Hey, y’all ready to go?”, Marty asked, seeing the boys coming down the stairs.

“Let’s roll”, Reed replied, draping his arm across Jonah’s shoulders and making the other boy blush. The five of them headed out and met up with Buffy and Andi, also draped against each other. When they reached the main school building, Andi, Jonah, and Marty split off to their own classes, leaving Reed, Cyrus, Buffy, and TJ to head to their morning class.

The four walked into the building with little thought of the class inside. Cyrus seemed to be the only one paying attention because the other three nearly walked past the classroom. The four entered the room to find a few rows of rafters, different instruments scattered around the room, a desk at the front, and about 20 kids scattered across the room in groups. Reed and Cyrus went to check out the guitars, Buffy the two sets of drums in the corner, and TJ walked over to the baby grand in the back, the only abandoned instrument. Guess there aren’t a lot of classical musicians in this class.

------

The kids wandered around examining the instruments for a while when suddenly the door opened again, revealing a middle-aged man in jeans and a leather jacket. Everything about him reminded Cyrus of Bowie.

“Well, you guys sure seem excited”, he said with a grin, walking over to the desk and shrugging off his jacket and revealing a t-shirt for a band Cyrus didn’t recognize. The kids chuckled and settled down, lounging on whatever free area there was in the room as the teacher went through roll call.

“Ok”, the man began, clapping his hands together. “Welcome to General Sound 101. In this class, we’ll be combining all different type of musicians together to create sounds that aren’t very mainstream. I know a lot of you got here through your own bands, but our goal in this class is to pull apart and reorganize people to create something new.”

The kids nodded, though a few seemed apprehensive of the idea, Cyrus included. He didn’t know how well he could play without his bands. Sure, he knew he could in essence, but it wasn’t something he was very confident in.

“Reed Glas, Jonah Beck, and Buffy Driscoll”, the teacher said, drawing the classes attention. He waved his hand and they came up to his desk. He said a few things before handing them all sheet music and directing them toward their respective instruments. Buffy got her sticks and sat at the drums, and Jonah and Reed both picked up guitars before saying a few words to each other. They seemed to come to an agreement because they soon started playing. Cyrus knew exactly what they were playing and grinned as Reed began to sing.

“I’ll be strumming my ax in a basement dive, with my totally kickass band…”

The trio really started to get into it as the reached the chorus.

“When I climb to the top of Mount Rock. And I’m there staring down from the heights…”

The class really started to get into it and Cyrus was very amused by the fact that they were singing a song from a musical, knowing Buffy’s and Jonah’s opinions on them. They were starting to reach the piano part and Cyrus was wondering how they were going to pull it when he heard the notes coming from the back. TJ was sitting at the instrument like it was made for him. He spared a look up and he and Reed shared a grin as the song got faster and Buffy and Jonah joined back in. When the trio was back to their pure rock song, TJ slid off the bench and strolled over to Cyrus as the watched Jonah riff. The song ended to applause from the class.

“Well, I see you know your musical theater”, the teacher said, also clapping.

“Musical theater?”, Buffy asked in disbelief causing Cyrus to burst out laughing. The teacher grinned before heading back over to his desk.

“Cyrus Goodman”, the teacher suddenly called, causing Cyrus to snap his head up. “Don McLean, 1971.”

Cyrus grinned. Way too easy, he thought as he pulled a confused TJ toward the piano. There was sheet music on the stand and Cyrus didn’t have to shuffle around too much before he found it and set it in front of him. Cyrus turned around, hoping to get some help, but one guy was already getting on the drums, and a girl and boy were strapping on an electric guitar and a bass. They looked up and nodded at Cyrus who grinned and indicated for TJ to start.

“A long, long time ago, I can still remember how that music used to make me smile…”, Cyrus began as TJ started to play. As he sang the opening verses, he started making his way over to an acoustic guitar, strapping it on.

“I can’t remember if I cried when I read about his widowed bride. But something touched me deep inside, the day the music died....”

Cyrus started strumming as he sang and he knew that’s when he caught them. Buffy and Jonah stared at him just like that first day as the others joined in. The song was long, but it was definitely one of Cyrus's favorites. Unlike most of the songs today, it told an actual story. It was one of the only songs that made Cyrus feel like he could do anything in the world. He closed his eyes as the music washed over him. He could tell it was affecting the class as well. Cyrus had never played with any of the others who had risen to help, but he could feel the connection the song was giving them. The song faded back to piano and Cyrus relaxed walking back over to TJ, who was focused intensely since he’d never played this song before.

“And they were singing, “Bye, bye, Miss American Pie…”

Cyrus strummed as the others joined in making up the chorus. The last notes fell away and Cyrus was hit with an overwhelming sense of calm. The class applauded and Cyrus thanked the people who had helped, before heading over to his friends, who were still awestruck.

“So, what did you guys think?”, he asked, knowing he was being a little cocky.

“Cy-Cyrus”, Buffy got out.

“When did you learn that?”, Jonah asked.

Cyrus shrugged. “My dad played it a lot, so I figured I would learn how to play it, though I only know the vocals, bass, and acoustic guitar parts.

Reed shook his head, “Well, aren’t you full of surprises.”

Cyrus chuckled before turning back to TJ who was smiling back at him.

“Thanks for coming to help. I didn’t know any other piano players”, Cyrus said.

“It was no problem, Cy. It’s a good song, and if you like it so much, maybe I should learn it.”

Cyrus blushed, but before he could answer, their professor was calling up more people and the process started again.

------

It was two weeks later and Cyrus and TJ were in their room working on assignments, Cyrus strumming his bass and TJ trying out cords on the keyboard he had gotten. Suddenly, Reed burst through their door.

“Dude”, he said quickly. “Did you know Alex was here?”

“What?”, TJ said jumping up.

“I saw him in the lobby”, Reed cried. “I rushed up before he could see me.”

“Are-”, TJ was cut off by his phone ringing. He felt like an animal trapped in a corner. That’s absurd, you haven’t done anything, he thought, but he just because it was true, didn’t mean he believed it. TJ grabbed his phone and clicked the answer button before answering.

“Hey, babe, what’s up?”, he asked on reflex.

“Nothing much”, he answered. “Just hanging out in the lobby of your dorm building.”

“Really?”, TJ asked, trying to sound surprised.

“Reed told you, didn’t he?”, he replied, unimpressed.

“Yeah, but it’s still a surprise. I’ll be down in a sec okay?”

“Yeah, see you in a bit.”

TJ hung up and slipped his phone into his pocket before throwing on a shirt and slipping on his sneakers. He was just about to leave when a voice made him stop in his tracks.

“Your boyfriend’s here?”, Cyrus asked from his bed. Seeing him sitting there sent butterflies to his stomach and a stake through his heart.

“Yeah”, TJ answered. Cyrus nodded and looked down at his bass, strumming out a melancholy chord. All TJ wanted to do was sit back down and maybe listen to Cyrus sing again, but he didn’t. He made himself turn around and head out the door, making his way to his boyfriend. Your boyfriend, TJ’s head reminded him. Who came all the way from SLC to see you.

TJ’s head was still full of worries as he walked into the lobby. He looked around and saw his boyfriend leaning up against a wall staring down at his phone. The sight of him used to send butterflies to TJ’s stomach, but now he just felt guilty. TJ took a breath to steady himself and made his way over to Alex. When he got close, he looked up and his signature smile appeared on his face, though his eyes didn’t quite match it. TJ forced a smile before kissing him, but it was like kissing a stranger.

“Hey babe”, TJ said, trying to sound happy. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, I had some business here and so I figured I’d come and surprise you”, Alex said, pushing back his too-long brown hair. “I haven’t seen you since I helped you move up.”

“How long are you staying?”, TJ asked, hoping not for too long.

“I have to meet some guys today, but I figured we could go get dinner tonight? My treat of course.”

“Y-Yeah”, TJ agreed surprised. It’d been months since Alex had planned a date. “Yeah, of course. What time?”

“Uh, seven?”, Alex suggested. TJ nodded and he flashed TJ a smile before kissing him on the cheek and taking off.

Once Alex was gone, TJ released a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He sighed as he turned back around to find Reed standing a ways behind him. He had his arms crossed and was giving TJ a look that he promptly ignored. TJ headed back up the stairs and only relaxed once he had gotten to his door. He shot Reed, who had followed him up, a look before heading inside.

TJ didn’t look at Cyrus as he headed back to his bed, but he could feel his eyes all the way. He plopped onto his bed and pulled his keyboard back into his lap before glancing at Cyrus.

“What?”, he asked though it wasn’t defensive.

“Are you not going out with your boyfriend?”, he asked unabashedly.

TJ shrugged. “We have plans for later tonight but we both have stuff to do right now.”

“Oh”, Cyrus said quietly. TJ glances up to see Cyrus looking down at his sheet music, a slight smile on his face. TJ’s heart skipped a beat before he looked back down at his own music.

—————

Cyrus watched as TJ moved around their room, getting ready for his date. Thinking about TJ’s boyfriend downstairs sent a pang to his heart, so he moved his eyes up to his roommate. That wasn’t such a good idea he realized when he saw what the blonde boy was wearing. TJ might have been an athlete, but he was always finding ways to break gender norms. He had on dark-wash jeans and a pink cropped hoodie. He had done his eyeliner in Winehouse style and wore a little bit of foundation, but other than that his face was clean. He wore his hair mostly ungelled, but he wore his contacts since he was going out. Stunning, was the only thought Cyrus’s gay disaster brain could form.

When he saw Cyrus looking at him, TJ smirked in his usual infuriating way. He turned around and rummaged in his closet before pulling out two pairs of shoes. One pair were some uber-expensive kicks TJ almost never wore and some low-rise heeled boots.

“Whattya think?”, TJ asked, holding up the two pairs of shoes for Cyrus to see.

“Um”, Cyrus articulated gracefully. TJ quirked an eyebrow and Cyrus knew he was enjoying Cyrus’s meltdown.

“Boots”, Cyrus said suddenly. TJ gave him a slightly surprised look but nodded and put the sneakers back. He sat down on his bed to put on the boots. When he stood up, he was even taller, though the height difference between him and Cyrus was already so large, the added inch didn’t really do anything. TJ nodded, satisfied and smiled at Cyrus before giving him a small salute.

“See you later, Goodman. Don’t have too much fun without me”, TJ said as he grabbed his keys, phone, and wallet and left the dorm.

Cyrus sat on his bed for a while. He didn’t like how attached he’d gotten to TJ. Good job, Goodman, he thought. You went from crushing on straight guys to crushing on gay guys with a boyfriend. Cyrus groaned and flopped backward, hating life at that moment. He laid like that for a while before he felt his phone buzz. He checked it and saw it was his band. Apparently, they had been able to find an unbooked practice room and was wondering if he wanted to join them.

Cyrus didn’t even think about declining, standing up and pulling on his shoes and grabbing his keys and phone. He walked out of the dorm, his anger rising steadily higher. What was he angry at exactly? Cyrus couldn’t tell you. Maybe it was himself, maybe TJ, maybe TJ’s boyfriend, maybe the whole universe, but the only thing that mattered to Cyrus was that he was mad. He walked to the training rooms in a haze. He walked down hallway after hallway before finding the door. Cyrus slammed the door when he entered the music room.

“Cy?”, Andi’s concerned voice asked as the boy grabbed his bass. Instead of standing at his normal mic, he walked to center stage, prepping his guitar. He was too angry to feel guilty about not asking first, but the others seemed to know what he wanted. Cyrus scrolled through the electronic music sheets on the iPad standing in front of him. He finally found the song and sent it to the others. It wasn’t his normal genre, but it got the point across. He took a deep breath and the band began to play.

“Hey, hey, tell me what you want me to say. You know I’m stupid for you...”

Cyrus got lost in the music of the stupid song. He pushed all the emotions that he’d been holding back for the past few weeks and just played the new song as best he could. If his band was bothered or surprised, they didn’t show it. Cyrus doubted they had ever heard the song before, Cyrus didn’t until Marty had showed it to him, but none of them were complaining. If anything, Jonah was playing just as hard as Cyrus, though he didn’t know why since this limbo state he and Reed were at is usual where Jonah flourished. Things must have changed in the last four years.

Cyrus could feel his anger draining away as they closed out the song. He was breathing heavily and when the last notes where played, he flopped down onto the floor. He just sat there with his head buried in his arms while his band looked at him worriedly. Cyrus heard the door open and close, but he didn’t think anything of it. He only looked up when he felt another body sit down beside him. Jonah just sat next to him in silence for a bit before deciding to start talking.

“I don’t know where things are going with Reed”, he said, looking at his hands. “I know where I want things to go, but neither of us are the “let’s discuss our relationship” type of people.”

Jonah sighed. “I just wish I knew what he was thinking.”

“Why don’t you ask him?”, Cyrus asked quietly, his head still laying on his knees. Jonah shrugged before turning toward Cyrus and giving him a small smile.

“Why don’t you ask TJ what he’s thinking”, Jonah countered.

“That’s different”, Cyrus mumble, looking away. “He has a boyfriend.”

“Does he want that boyfriend?”

“I’m not going to let TJ cheat on his boyfriend because I like him”, Cyrus exclaimed exasperated.

“I never said you should”, Jonah replied. “I just meant that you should ask him if he would rather be with you.”

“I can’t do that Jonah”, Cyrus sighed. “I can’t get in between him and his boyfriend. And what if he says no? Then I have to share a room with a guy who rejected me because I asked him to break up with his boyfriend for me. Does that sound like a reasonable thing to do?”

Cyrus was quite exasperated now, but Jonah just shrugged and laid on his back. After a minute, Cyrus groaned and flopped back.

“I just don’t know what to do”, Cyrus groaned. “I can’t share a room with the guy I’m pining for! It just...it’ll hurt too much.”

Cyrus’s anger had long drained out of him. Now he was just a mess. Cyrus was pretty sure TJ already knew Cyrus liked him but living with a guy he knows he could never have. It shouldn’t feel as bad as his crush on Jonah was, but it was, and that’s how Cyrus knew he was in some deep trouble. Way too attached, Cyrus thought as he just stared at the ceiling. It seemed like he had only been lying there for a few minutes, but when he finally sat up, he found himself alone, and hours have passed. It wasn’t unusual for Cyrus to lose time thinking about stuff but it had been a while since it last happened.

Cyrus staggered up and slowly walked out the door. Laying on the hard floor had not done good things to his back, neck, and shoulders. Cyrus tried to massage his muscles as he made his way through the hallways. He was about to turn a corner when he heard soft notes coming from a room down the other hall. Cyrus cautiously approached the room. It had been dark for a while and the only light in the room was coming from the iPad on the piano that showed the sheet music. The notes coming from the instrument were soft and sad. Cyrus made out light green eyes and wavy hair leaning over the piano. TJ.

Cyrus tiredly made his way across the room, careful not to scare his friend. There was a couch in the corner, so Cyrus slinked onto that. He sat for a while just listening to the song. He could tell that TJ was aware of his presence. Cyrus closed his eyes, letting the song wash over him. He started to drift off to the sound of TJ’s heartbreak.

————

TJ had walked out of the dorm confident. Well, as confident as you can be when you’re going on a date with a boyfriend that you didn’t love anymore. He knew the very-not-subtle flirting he had done while he was getting dressed wasn’t fair, not to Cyrus nor to him. But he had needed to know if Cyrus felt the same if he was going to finally do this. Alex was his safety net. The only way he could cut himself free from the boy was if he knew that someone was there to make sure he didn’t break. Of course, he won’t know he can catch you if you never tell him how you feel, TJ’s mind shot back. It was too smart.

TJ sighed as he walked out of the dorm building. He was just about to check his messages when he feels a hand touch his elbow. He looked up to see Alex looking up at him.

“Hey”, he said. “Ready to go?”

TJ nodded and they started walking. They fell into silence, not awkward, but not comfortable either. More routine. TJ could feel it, the thing they had become. They weren’t a couple, TJ had realized when Alex had shown up. They hadn’t been for a long time. Now, they were just each other’s safety nets. Alex was following TJ through the town, but TJ wasn’t going to a restaurant. He might’ve been dressed up for a date, but it felt more like business, so he made his way to a small all-hour cafe TJ and his friends had found. Alex was confused, but he followed TJ in. They sat at a table and silently waited to be served. The waitress came and went but neither of them talked until their drinks were cold.

TJ sighed. “We can’t keep doing this.”

“Doing what?”, Alex asked, playing dumb.

“This, us. Neither of us are happy. You’ve been so distracted lately and I’ve”, TJ paused. “And I don’t love you anymore.”

“You love someone else”, Alex completed the sentence TJ wasn’t strong enough to. TJ nodded feeling guilty. Alex had been looking down at his drink the entire time. He finally lifted his eyes to TJ’s.

“You’re right”, Alex complied. “I haven’t been a boyfriend to you. I got so used to the idea that’d you’d just be there, that I started taking you for granted. That’s my fault. I’m sorry.”

TJ nodded and they stared at each other before Alex started to get up. He was about to leave when he called over his shoulder, “For the record, I did love you, Kippen. I hope this guy of yours knows how lucky he is.” And with that, he was gone.

TJ has wandered around for a bit, trying to think of a way to explain all of this to Cyrus. He finally decided to go to the training rooms to clear his head. He played a few songs varying between sad and freeing. The song he was playing was particularly sad when Cyrus wandered in, looking exhausted. He stumbled to the couch as TJ continued to play. Even after Cyrus had drifted off to sleep, TJ played. Finally, TJ was too tired to play another note. He went over to the couch but Cyrus wouldn’t wake up. TJ groaned but picked up the smaller boy anyway.

TJ carried Cyrus through campus and into their form building. TJ glared at the stairs before he broached the challenge. Eventually, TJ made it up the stairs and down the hall. He carefully opened the door to their room and laid Cyrus on one of the beds. TJ tiredly wiped the makeup away from his face before collapsing into the other. Sleep quickly overtook him.

———— TWO MONTHS LATER

It had been two months since the breakup and Cyrus and TJ were still dancing around each other. Their friends constantly complained about it, not understanding, but the two boys knew they couldn’t jump into a relationship immediately. So here they were, two months later and stuck between friends and the need to be closer than that. Cyrus found that it was significantly easier to live with the guy he was pining after when he was pining after him too. But the most infuriating part was that neither of them knew when to say enough was enough. How long were they just going to flirt and glance at each other across rooms and go on not dates before they turned it into a relationship?

Two months apparently.

Now, Cyrus was sure it would’ve gone on for longer, much, much longer, but luckily for them, one of them wasn’t very good at keeping things a secret. Well, at least that’s how Cyrus saw it anyway. TJ still thinks it wouldn’t have happened if Cyrus hadn’t been Spotify stalking him, but it doesn’t matter. The important thing was that it happened. And yes, it was because of music.

It was like any other day for Cyrus, TJ woke him up, he rolls out of bed and tried not to stare too much when TJ came back from the showers, showered, headed to breakfast with his friends, goes to class, has lunch, comes back to the dorm and plans on studying. Except Cyrus didn’t have any homework. And TJ had an extra class that day. So Cyrus was just sitting there, bored to death. Music usually helped, so he went to Spotify, but he couldn’t get interested in any of his playlists. So he goes over to TJ’s account and looks through his public ones. The most recently played one was titled ‘Play Me A Memory’. Despite the reference, not one Billy Joel song was in there. Instead, the first five songs were the set Cyrus played with his band. He got curious, so he listened to the playlist.

Oh, Cyrus thought as he listened to the songs. He played our memories. The second song was the one TJ auditioned with. The second and third were the ones they played in class. Then there was the song Cyrus had sung the night TJ and Alex broke up(how he knew about that, he only guessed one of his friends). Then there was the song that Cyrus had heard when he first walked into the room TJ was playing the piano in. After that, it changed. It went from songs that involved them, to songs that must have reminded TJ of him.

Cyrus day on his bed in shock. He knew that TJ liked him, maybe even loved him, but this is beyond what he thought TJ could feel for him. The more he listened, the stronger his emotions got, and the more he just wanted to run out of the room to find him. But Cyrus just continued to listen as his eyes filled moth tears. That’s how TJ found him, kneeling on the bed, crying to a playlist TJ had made about him. When TJ walked in the door, Cyrus marched up to him and kissed him, without any hesitation. No more dancing around. TJ was surprised, but he returned the kiss quickly. When they separated, Cyrus buried his face into TJ’s chest.

“I can’t believe you”, Cyrus said quietly. When TJ just gave him a confused look, Cyrus rolled his eyes and gave TJ one of his earbuds. TJ eyes widened when he heard the song. He tried quickly to explain, but Cyrus just held up a hand.

“You could’ve just asked me out, you know?”, he asked, a slight smirk on his face. TJ rolled his eyes, but then looked down at Cyrus rather seriously.

“Cyrus Goodman. Will you go out with me?” And oh, it was the sweetest song Cyrus had ever heard.

So now, here they were, two weeks after that and now on their third date, which Buffy and Andi insisted being a triple date with Reed and Jonah. They were hanging out around campus and just enjoying the company. Adding more memories to the playlist.

yeah, so that was fun. love posting at four in the morning. (anyone who liked the post was tagged unless problems occurred)

@judgemental-llama @thattyruslover @babytaters4life @paytonotinthemood @itslynxa @that-multi-fandom-boi @optimisticbailiffpurseempath @tyrusmuffins @forthemystery @dearrinsecurity @tyrusgavemerights @tyruswimgs @a-bittersweet-gal @meanie13 @aka-introvert @sadiesviolets @lolabug722 @godshrimpdick @lillianpage019 @spawnofthemarauders

#Andi Mack #tyrus #bandi #jonah x reed #marty by himself #Singer!Cyrus #Pianist!TJ #fanfic #tyrus fic #oo oo it's finally done #now i can go back to my other six things

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