#her music no longer feels the same
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I posted these on my Instagram weeks ago and wanted to share it here as well
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Out of all the things that threw me through a loop in the mario movie, the bros taking their gloves off was the most oddly jarring. I said out loud âthey have flesh hAnds!-â
#y'know among other things#beating an absolute decomposed horse here but. Chris Pratt's voice acting was somehow. worse. than I was expecting.#the um. the random real songs? Mr. Blue Sky and Thunderstruck? that was weird#the other music was WONDERFUL#I know Mario has been canonically like 25 for a while but it's still weird seeing him with his young parents and being fussy about food#and playing video games in his lil teenager bedroom#speaking of- the Mario-hates-mushrooms thing? what?#and his personality in general was just fucking weird but it would have been less jarring without the. lazy shit voice. sorry. dead horse ik#thought there'd be more luigi tbh#kamek and bowser absolutely stole the show they were fucking great#peach was generic... I didn't dislike her but. myeh. another Illumination quirky girlboss go off I guess#Donkey kong was fun actually I rly liked him#his beef with Mario was entertaining#anyway ok enough about characters#the movie was a visual feast and the action scenes were. fucking excellent. so clever.#which. says. a. LOT. given how much I normally hate illumination movies visually#oh yeah toad. he was there. same way I feel about him in the games so#dude I kept my eyes PEELED for Funky Kong. he should've absolutely been the mechanic or SOMETHINg. so sad.#it's funny the longer the movie went on the more and more and more I realized. oh. this is an illumination movie alright#take that as you will#anyway I sound like I hated it I didn't I fucking loved every second of it#when you go into a movie with the mindset of ''I'm going to tear this to shreds as light-heartedly as possible'' you have a great time#and you get pleasantly surprised along the way!#like I said! visual feast! clever fights! some fun characters! music! background gags and easter eggs!#bowser!
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winxers i am asking you hand in intolerable hand please help me i know you listen to music don't pretend !!
#alhdgljahdgl#ik most people will think of the girls but suggestions for the boys would be nice too!#i especially need help with brandon and nabu because i have almost nothing for them#the girls' playlists are looking much better now but i do want all of them to be at least an hour long hopefully longer#and so far musa's is the only one that meets that#i'd also like to find happier songs for bloom since her playlist is very sadge rn#but anyway! please my loves i will wither away without music#ive already scoured my own playlists for songs for all of them and :')#im having a hard time figuring out what nabu's playlist should be like...#i feel like they all have Vibes but i can't figure his out?#should it be dancy like aisha's? bit indie like florelia's? techy even?#we know he likes the same music that aisha does but we don't really know what it sounds like :(#also is this meme too old. still gonna use it but is it ahdgjkl#also also do you guys like the edit. cause i love it and i think every meme from now on will be edited into alfea ahdgl
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I take back... SOME of my negativity about fe:engage. Now that I'm out of prolog hell I have decided the fun eclipses the annoyances. For now.
#speculation nation#engage spoilers/#i still think the ring emblem thing is cheap#... but it also brought me a lot of joy to see and hear Celica again. same voice actress đ even if her sprite looks different (worse)#the real separating moment tho was when i went to the side summoning thing and mae showed up. i gasped a little ngl.#apparently i couldnt give less of a shit about marth or sigurd. but celica and the Valentia crew... đđđđđđ#i mean itd probably just be better to play echoes instead of engage if what is bringing me the most joy in this game is Valentia Crew#which. god i wish echoes was longer than it is. it's Easily my favorite fire emblem game#in characters. story. art. music. tactics (LOVE the battle maps)#there is not a single thing i dislike about echoes. aside from the length i guess. but really i just obsessively play it anytime i play#so it feels so short but i do dump a good 50 hours per game. so not Long but not short#ive replayed it like 3 times at least. and god i miss it. i always wanna play it more.#maybe my next game i should play on hard. i enjoy the challenge more lol#uhm. well. ok so engage is still incredibly lackluster in comparison to echoes. but really that's an impossible standard for it to meet. so#other thoughts: i HATE HATE HATE this princess' dress SO fucking much. i though alfred's fucking panteloons were stupid#but her fucking bulb dress is so much worse. and she's not even a healer!!!!! another squishy mage but with a sword too >:(#she came with celica which made it obvious she's meant as a celica copy. but at least celica can heal >:(#i wonder if alm is somewhere. probably in the land of strength??? if i had to guess at least.#ok but the princess' retainers... i actually kinda like them... their voices are actually decent! and that pegasus rider is... đł#i desperately need another monk. current girl is decently useful as a healer but she is weak as FUCK#the punchy stuff seems cool but i never see it cause i gotta keep her off the front lines bc she's SQUISHY#im warming up to the twins. still hate their voices & i hate when theyre fanboying.#but removed from the protag theyre kind of sweet. plus passably useful in battle.#god i need another healer tho lmfao. pls @ the game give me another healer soon...
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a few âcrazyâ things i've manifested for myself and others
nothing is actually crazy. everything is the same and nothing is impossible. I Am Possible.Â
An all expenses paid trip to Dubai (twice now) with $0 in my bank account by simply deciding that my only option is to go and be sexy in Dubai (respectfully ofc). I left my wallet in the States on purpose bc I am spoiled and everyone pays for me. Thatâs exactly what happened.Â
I revised my best friendâs pregnancy bc we donât do baby mamaism around here. Commit to a baby when that man commits to you. Sorry not sorry. She literally took three pregnancy tests and they all told her she was pregnant. I said no, not my girl. She was no longer pregnant. No medical procedure or any pain was experienced or necessary on her end.
Accepted in to the university I wanted to go to bc I thought it was pretty. Super low acceptance rate and I definitely didnât have the criteria. I didnât even have to do the college essay just bc I didnât feel like writing (but ofc I would write fan fiction in a heart beat).Â
Every single job Iâve ever had bc ofc youâre gonna hire me Iâm the best employee youâve ever come across.
Becoming besties with manifestation YouTubers I used to watch bc why not??Â
My current remote job that pays me $120/hour and I barely have to do actual work. I genuinely just scroll on Pinterest and Tumblr most of the time and when i do work, it's blissful. Love my boss tho
Apartments for my friends, family members and myself thatâs everything we wanted in our individual spaces and more.
My Porsche Boxster that has super low milage and given to me for free like girl byeee.
Tons of new friends and opportunities falling into my lap
I ordered new glasses and they came in fast asf. âUsuallyâ takes at least two maybe three weeks but I said nope, Iâm wearing them right now. I am wearing them right now.Â
My favorite musicians releasing new music every time I decide I want new music from them. Like if you donât get in that studio!
#itsrlymine#loa success#sucess story#law of assumption#manifest#manifesting#manifestation#loassumption#lawofassumption#void state#shifting#shiftblr#shifting community#shifting blog#imagination is reality#reality shift#success story#pure consciousness#i am awareness#shifters#loa blog#loa tumblr#instant manifestation#desired reality#living in the end
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canât swim // rafe cameron
a / n : rafe cameron thoughts. btw this was actually an anonymous ask i sent to a writer, i donât know if sheâll write it but im sure if she does, itâll turn out amazing. @rafeysbunny iâm ïżœïżœïżœïżœ anon, hehe.
fun fact, i cannot swim.
synopsis : in which, rafe overhears that you canât swim and during a party out on the docks, some of the kooks push you into the ocean to loosen you up.
warnings : reader canât swim. kelce being an ass, peer pressure, etc.
âare you serious, [Name]?â
The raised tone of her voice causes you to shush her as you tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear and purse your lips faintly. âNot so loud, sare..â You let out a small breath and frown, leaning back against the headboard of her bed.
Sarah nods in understanding, lowering her tone as she sighs softly and crosses her legs on the bed in front of you. âThatâs crazy- i mean, everyone here in Outer Banks are either surfers or decent swimmers.â
âExcept me..â You trail off, shutting your eyes as you bring your hands up to your face. âItâs pretty humiliating, you know.. Seeing everyone in their swimsuits and able to swim in the ocean or go surfing, without the fear of drowning.â
âWow, no wonder you wouldnât ever go into the pool or go swimming with us during the boat parties on the dock..â
Unbeknownst to you two, Sarahâs door was open and a passing Rafe Cameron was on his way downstairs when he overhears your conversation.
âItâs not like I havenât tried, but each time, I feel my body sinking and it terrifies me. Plus, yâknow, with the whole nearly drowning as a kid trauma and shit.â you force a laugh while Sarah shares a bittersweet smile.
âItâs alright, stay by me tonight and Iâll keep an eye out for you.â
âThanks, Sarah, I appreciate it.. and you canât tell anyone either, okay, especially not Rafe.â You warn pleadingly and she chuckles and nods. âwait, why specifically him?â
You feel your cheeks warm at her question as you turn away. âYour brother just seems like the type to make fun of me for it, and besides, itâs just embarrassing to have a guy i think is hot, to know that about me.â
Sarah scrunches her nose and shudders. âI think your crush on my brother is more embarrassing than you being unable to swim.â she teases and you playfully push her away from you as she breaks into a laugh.
Rafe peeks into the room and thinks for a moment as his eyes examine and take in your form. He has already known long ago of your developed crush on him, and to say he has a mutual infatuation with you may be an understatement.
Every time you come over, Rafe finds every excuse to be in the house, sometimes even in the same room, just to get a look at you.
The way you tuck your hair behind your ear when you feel shy, the way your eyes light up when you laugh, everything entices him, intrigues him. You were just so perfect.
Rafe quickly pulls away when he hears movement and leans against the wall beside the doorframe for a moment.
Despite being a little surprised at the newfound information, it brought a little smile to his face. You canât swim? How cute.
âCome on, we should get ready for Topperâs party tonight.â Sarah says and you sigh softly, but get up anyways with her as she heads over to her closet. âItâll be fun, come on.â
Rafe lingers for a second longer as he imagines what youâll be wearing before taking his leave downstairs.
Itâs around ten at night when the two of you arrive at the docks, the night sky surrounding the area with only the lights of Topperâs large boat illuminating the place.
âI donât know, maybe i shouldnât be here..â You go to turn around but Sarah stops you, pulling you to her side. âCome on, itâll be okay, i promise. Besides, you look super cute, so flaunt it, okay?â She winks and you huff a breath before following after her.
The closer you get, the louder the partygoers become and the music blasting is enough to stimulate the senses.
Once you get on board, Sarah is engulfed by her friends, while you remain on the sideline with a weak smile and awkwardly hugging your arms. Despite being a kook, you werenât among the popular ones but that wasnât enough to get you on their bad side at least.
You rub your arms, the thin fabric of your cardigan doing nothing but add to Sarahâs fashion sense of your outfit tonight. In her baby blue, cropped cardigan, a matching spaghetti strapped solid colored tank and dark washed, high waisted denim shorts.
You help yourself to the bar, grabbing a red solo cup and letting the bartender fill the plastic cup with some beer before bringing it to your lips, hoping it would do some good to alleviate some anxiety, while you keep an eye on Sarah from nearby, whoâs talking with her friends.
The scene brings a smile to your lips when you recall her saying she would keep an eye on you earlier in the day but you were happy to see her enjoy herself.
However, you didnât get to enjoy much time alone as Topper and his friends make his way over to you.
âHey, [Name]. All alone again?â Kelce smirks and you merely offer a small smile in return. âNot much of a party kinda girl.. but itâs nice.â you mention the last part to Topper who dismisses you, understanding you meant no offense.
âWhereâs Sarah?â Topper asks, looking around the area and you gesture over a little ways nearby.
âSheâs talking with some friends.â You reply, tapping my fingers against my cup as you shift your footing, feeling the anxiety come back, causing you to take another sip of your drink.
You let your eyes wander around the group, briefly catching Rafeâs, who let his eyes trail up and down your form for a moment, taking in your appearance. The way the baby blue color popped against your skin, the way your hair was styled for tonightâs party. Even the way you shyly held your cup to your chest, fingers still tapping against the sides.
Feeling your cheeks warm from Rafeâs intense gaze, you turn away and look back to Kelce.
Kelce and some of the other guys step closer and you give a small smile to them. âIs there something I can help you with?â
âCome on, [Name]. We notice you always come to these parties but you donât do anything,â Kelce mentions and you force a chuckle. âIâm an observer.â but some of the other guys donât take that answer. âAll weâre saying is, you should loosen up a little. Come on, some of the girls are taking dives off the tail, you should join.â
Your eyes widen slightly and you wave off the idea. âNo, i think im good tonight, im actually pretty tired..â You say and Kelce scoffs lightly as his hand goes down to grab your wrist. âDonât be a buzzkill, [Name], the water will wake you right up.â
âKelce, iâm not really in the mood to-â Rafe places a hand on Kelceâs shoulder, stopping him. âLet go, dude, letâs just leave her alone.â But Kelce doesnât listen as he drags you along to where the other girls are, and the commotion causes all the partygoers to look over, Sarah looking your way.
Your eyes meet Rafeâs and he notices a look of fear and anxiety in them as Kelce brings you over and you try to pull away, the other guys surrounding you all, cheering Kelce and You.
âYeah!â
âCome on, loosen up, girly.â
âKelce, I really donâtââ Despite your futile attempts, Kelce just takes the cup from your hands while Sarah pushes her way through the crowd. âHey, Kelce, leave her alone!â
Rafe purses his lips and pulls Kelce away. âHey, seriously, thatâs enough.â He warns, pushing Kelce back, who just furrows his brows and scoffs. âWhat the hell? Why are you getting in the way, man?â
Sarah manages to get to your side, standing over you protectively. But the other girls now get in the way.
âCome on, Sarah, let [Name] do it.â
âitâs not scary.â
You shake your head again, as the girls pull Sarah away, leaving you alone with the kook surrounding you.
Rafe is pushing Kelce away, whoâs confused and pushing Rafe back in retaliation. Meanwhile this leaves the other Kooks to act freely and the guys seem to share the same idea and go over to your body.
âHey, hold onââ
But itâs too late, as the guys pick you up with ease and toss you overboard, a wave of laughter and cheers erupting from them.
â[Name]!â Sarah shouts from the girls hold and Rafe widens his eyes as he whirls around at the sound of your scream and a splash from the impact.
âShit-â Rafe curses as he roughly shoves Kelce into Topper as he rips off his shirt before taking a leap off the deck and into the water with you.
You flail, panic surging into you as you begin to hyperventilate. âS-Sa-Sarahâ!â
âWhat the hell?!â Kelce scoffs with furrowed brows while Sarah feels tears brimming her eyes. â[Name] canât swim!â she cries out as she rips away from the girls and shoves two of the guys out of her way before leaning over the railing. â[Name]!â
Topperâs, Kelceâs and the other kooksâ eyes widen in shock at the revelation. âWhat?â
They all rush over the rail to peer into the ocean as Rafe is diving under to find you.
Rafe manages to find your sinking body, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you up to the surface, your body already unconscious due to the lack of air and your panic flailing.
â[Name], [Name], are you okay?â He gasps as he reaches the surface and uses a hand to caress your cheek while the other props you up under your back. âNo, no, come on, [Name], wake up.â
Sarah rushes around down the boat and on the boardwalk and leans down. âRafe, Rafe! Come on, bring her over here!â
Rafe clenches his jaw when you still donât respond and swims his way over towards Sarah as quickly as he can, panting before lifting your body up, Sarah doing her best to help you onto the wooden docks, laying you flat on your back.
â[Name], please! please wake up!â Sarah cries as she jostles you, Rafe climbing onto the dock next to her and looking down at you. She begins doing chest compressions, tears streaming down her cheeks faster. By this time, everyone on the boat is out on the boardwalk surrounding you body on the ground.
Rafe stands up straight, his clothes soaking and dripping but he doesnât pay it any mind as he tries to catch his breath, staring down at his sister trying to wake you.
He contemplated for just a minuscule of a second, about beating the shit out of Kelce, but he prioritized your wellbeing first.
âRafe- sheâs not waking up.â
Sarah inhales sharply, trying not to think the worst and her older brother kneels down, pinching your nose closed before bringing his lips down to yours.
The kooks are whispering amongst each other, surprised by Rafeâs sudden leadership actions.
Rafe pulls away, continuing Sarahâs chest compressions before going back to pressing his lips against yours, providing CPR.
Please, not like this. wake up, wake up for me, [Name].
Suddenly a choked noise erupts from your lips as you turn to your side and spew out bits of water. Your throat becomes sore as you cough roughly.
Sarah immediately breaks into a smile, a gasp of relief coming from her and Rafe pulls back, a sigh coming from him. âH-Hey, take it easy, youâre alright..â
You look around, feeling dizzy and nauseous as you spit up the last of the water you nearly drowned in, as Sarah pulls you to her chest, engulfing you in a tight hug. â[Name], iâm so glad youâre okay!â
Meanwhile, Rafe stands upright, looking up at the sky, trying to relax his rapidly beating heart, as he takes slow steps to turn around.
âH-Hey, look, I didnât know-â
Kelce, already knowing what was coming, raises his hands in defense as he backs up.
However, Rafe doesnât hesitate his fist swinging into Kelceâs cheek, succeeding in knocking him down. âYou son of a bitch!â
Rafe clenches his jaw tight as he looks to the other kooks. âParty is fucking over, get the fuck away!â
Topper tries to talk some sense into Rafe but Rafe shoves him. âYou hear me? I said get away! go fucking home, now!â
Everyone is stunned into silence as they share looks, before quickly scrambling away and off the dock, not wanting to argue with the Kook King.
Sarah sniffles as she pulls away and looks up at Rafe, who kneels down and tucks an arm under your legs and the other under your back, before lifting you up carefully, bridal style.
âR-Rafe?âŠâ Your hoarse voice calls out, hands pressed to his firm chest but Rafe hushes you. âShh.. itâs alright, just get some rest.. youâll be fine.â
Sarah watches her brother carry you towards his truck, wiping her tears as she follows after them, exhaling gently.
Tears brim your eyes as your chest swells with warmth, despite your freezing body.
You stare up at Rafe weakly, feeling your chest grow weak as your eyes flutter close and you press your head into his chest more. âThank you.. Rafe.. You saved me..â
Rafeâs hold on you tightens, securing you in his arms.
â..Iâm so glad youâre okay⊠iâm so sorry..â
a/n: welp, this couldâve been sooo much better but i rushed this at work hehe. outerbanks is playing on the tv at work so i thought id get a little smth out :3 this is sooo bad though đ
not proofread or edited. iâll go back and edit some other time.
synvilâąïž.
#rafe cameron one shot#rafe cameron fluff#obx rafe cameron#obx rafe#outer banks rafe#rafe cameron x you#rafe obx#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron#rafe x reader#outer banks x reader#outerbanks#outer banks#obx x reader#obx#rc x reader#outer banks rafe cameron#outerbanks rafe#outerbanks rafe cameron#rafe cameron scenarios#x reader#syd writes !#synvil
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LOVED YOU AT YOUR WORST - r.c series - ELEVEN
pairings: ex!sweethearts; rafe x thornton!reader; rafe x sofia. chapter warnings: mentions of severe anemia; pregnancy; abortion
đMASTERLIST
Rafe sat in his truck outside the unassuming brick building for longer than heâd care to admit, over two hours. The sign out front read âCoastal Therapy Centerâ in simple, soothing letters, but nothing about this felt soothing.
Therapy.Â
If someone had told him just three months ago heâd be here, he would have laughed in their face. Therapy was for weak people, that was what Ward Cameron had drilled into him since he was a kid. It was the kind of shit heâd spent his whole life avoiding because, what was the point? Nothing ever changed. Not for him, not for his so-called family.
After his mom died, Wardâs solution was to bury itâall of it. Grief, pain, confusion. âCamerons donât cry,â heâd said. âWe keep moving forward.â But what if forward felt like walking through hell?
The door felt impossibly far away, but he knew he had to get out.
âGet your shit together man,â he muttered under his breath.
He could hear his dadâs voice in his head, unforgiving. Weak. Pathetic. That same voice had driven him for years, pushed him to be stronger, tougher, to bury every fucking thing he felt. But it wasnât Wardâs voice that mattered now, it was yours, the Picture of your eyes shining with tears the last time youâd spoken to him.
He glanced at the building again, still not knowing if he believed in it, if it could fix whatever was broken inside him. But he did know one thing: if he didnât at least try, heâd lose you for good.
Rafe exhaled sharply, shoving open the truck door, but before he walked it, he pulled a pack of cigarettes from his jacket pocket. His fingers fumbled with the lighter, the flame sputtering before finally catching. He took a drag, the smoke burning his lungs in a way that almost felt good.
He exhaled slowly, watching the gray wisps disappear into the air. He flicked the cigarette to the ground and crushed it under his boot. He should just leave. Get back in the truck, drive somewhere, anywhere but here.Â
âFuck it,â he muttered, pushing himself off the wall and shoving his hands in his pockets as he walked back to the door. One foot in front of the other, he told himself, although it felt like walking to his own execution.The waiting room was quiet, with soft music playing in the background.Â
He hated it already. He didnât belong here, but he chose to stay, his hands shoved deep in his jacket pockets, his jaw clenched so tight it hurt like a bitch. He couldnât stop his legs from bouncing as he waited for the receptionist to notice him.
When she eventually looked up and smiled, he nodded stiffly, avoiding her. He didnât want her kindness. Didnât deserve it. Rafe wasnât sure what he was supposed to say when he walked into that first session.Â
He didnât know how to explain the mess, the voices in his head, the anger that raged over and the guilt that followed like a shadow. But he knew why he was here.
When the therapist finally called his name, Rafe hesitated for half a second before standing. She looked normal enoughâglasses, sweater, clipboardâbut it still made his skin crawl. He felt like she could see through him, as if she already knew all the shit heâd done and thought and didnât want to admit to anyone, especially himself.
âRafe?â she called again, her voice patient. He didnât deserve that either, but he nodded and followed her to the room.
It was small, the kind of place that made him feel like a caged animal, he sat on the couch because what the hell else was he supposed to do, and stared at the floor, picking at a thread on his jeans.
âSo,â she started, sitting across from him, crossing her legs like this was just a normal conversation. âWhat brings you here today?â
 âHuh, what doesnât?â he said before he could stop himself. He glanced up at her, half expecting her to kick him out right there.
But she didnât, instead she simply nodded, like she got it, sheâd heard worse.Â
âOkay,â she said. âLetâs start with whatever feels the hardest.â
He leaned back, running a hand over his face.Â
Where the fuck was he even supposed to start? His mom dying? His dad? The drugs, the fights, the hole heâd dug so deep he wasnât sure heâd ever crawl out? Or maybe with you, with the way heâd pushed you away until you had no choice but to hate him?
âI donât know,â he said finally. His eyes stayed glossed over on a spot on the carpet âI guess...uh, I should start with my mom, right? She died when I was fourteen. Leukemia.â
The therapist didnât say anything, just nodded like she was giving him space to keep going. He hated the silence, how much it made him feel, but he kept going, because if he was going to do this shit right, he might as well not half-ass it.
ââIâm sorry to hear that,â she said gently. âWhat do you remember most about her? What was she like?â
Rafeâs lips twitched, âShe was⊠everything, yâknow?â His throat felt sore, âI know everyone says that shit about their mom, but she really was. She was the one who kept everything together. When my dad was beingââÂ
He stopped short, his jaw twitching at how hard he bite his tongue.
âWhen he was being what?â the therapist prompted.
âWhen he was being him, she was the one whoâd step in. Sheâd tell him to back off, that I was just a kid, or that I didnât deserve whatever shit he was throwing at me that day. She was the only one who ever really had my back.â
âHow did losing her affect your relationship with your dad?â
âIt changed everything. When she got sick, it was like⊠I donât know, like everything just fell apart. She was the glue, yâknow? Without her, my dad justâhe went full-on Ward Cameron.â
His voice cracked on the last word, and he swallowed hard, âI remember the day she died,â he said after a long pause. âI thought Iâd have more time. They kept saying it was bad, but I didnât think it would happen that day. And then it did. Just like that.â
He rubbed his hands together, the motion frantic, restless. âI didnât even cry. I just sat there, staring at the floor while my dad kept saying, âWeâll get through this. Weâre Camerons. We donât fall apart.â And I was like, okay, I guess thatâs what weâre doing then. Not falling apart. Just⊠moving forward.â
âWhat does that mean to you, âfull-on Ward Cameronâ?â
âIt means he turned me into his fucking project.â
âDid he ever talk to you about what you were feeling? About how hard it was to lose her?â the therapist asked, her tone pointed.
âNo,â Rafe said immediately,âMy dad never wanted to talk about it. He acted like it was this... inconvenience. Yeah, he was sad, but he just buried it, wanted me to do the same.â
âWhat do you mean by that?â she prompted
Rafe let out a bitter laugh.Â
âIâm the oldest, out of three. Not just the oldestâ the only son. Wen she died, my dad decided I had to step up, be the man of the house. Take care of my sisters, keep everything running smoothly. Be his goddamn mini-me, like that was even possible. I was fourteen, but that shit didnât matter. My dad expected me to bury all the shit I was feeling, I had to be twice as strong because I was the only man left.â
âHow did that make you feel?â she asked, her tone measured but firm.
âHow do you think it made me feel?â he snapped, his voice rising before he caught himself. He sighed, leaning forward again and dropping his head into his hands. âShit, sorry,â he muttered. âI didnât mean toâŠâ
âItâs okay,â she nodded, not the least bit fazed, âBut I think itâs important to answer that question. How did it make you feel?â
âLike shit,â he admitted after a long pause. âI couldnât do anything right. I was pissed at him for putting all of that on me, pissed at my sister for needing me, pissed at her for dying and leaving me with all this. And most of all, pissed at myself because no matter what I did, it was never enough. Not for him, not for me.â
âDo you think you could have stopped it?â the therapist asked softly.
Rafeâs head snapped up at that, but then he shook his head. âNo,â he admitted, âI know I couldnât, it wasnât my fault. But it felt like it was, if Iâd been betterâsmarter, strongerâshe wouldâve stayed. Or at least⊠she wouldâve been proud of me for trying.â
He hasn't said it out loud since that night, with you.
She pursed her lips, as she took notes, âYou should give yourself more credit, for how much youâve survived.â
âCredit? For what? Being a fuck-up?â
She barely looked up from her notebook, changing the direction of her questions, âWhat do you think your mom would say to you now, if she could?âÂ
Rafeâs throat tightened, and he looked away, âI donât know. Fuck, maybe... maybe sheâd say sheâs proud of me for being here. For trying to fix it, even if I shouldâve done it years ago,â He paused, swallowing hard. âShe probably would think Iâm a fucking idiot, I pushed away the one person who actually fucking mattered.â
âWhoâs that?â the therapist asked gently.
âMy girlfriend,â He bit his tongue, the word stinging, âEx-girlfriend now, I guess. After my dad died, I justâI started pushing her away. Picking fights over Ward, shutting her out when she tried to help me see the truth about him,â He swallowed hard, his throat burning.Â
He hadnât expected to feel this vulnerable, but now that heâd started talking about you, about what heâd ruined, it was hard to stop.
âSheâs the one, yâknow?â he muttered, his voice distant as though he was speaking to himself more than anyone else. âI fucked it all up.â
âWhat happened?â
Rafe let out a shaky breath.
âI was an asshole. I told her I didnât need her, that she should just leave, like it wasnât me who was the fuckinâproblem. She didâshe left, thought if I cut her loose or pushed her away, maybe I wouldnât feel so fucking broken. Maybe if I wasnât constantly looking at her and seeing everything I couldnât be, I could... I donât know. Get my shit together or some bullshit.â He rubbed his temples, frustration mounting âBut then, like a fucking idiot, I started seeing someone else. All I could think about was how much it would hurt her if she found out. And it did.â His voice cracked, âIt fucking destroyed her, I knew it would. Thatâs the worst partâI fucking knew, and I still let it happen, like the selfish piece of shit I am.â
He pressed his palms to his eyes, hoping it could block out the memory of youâyour tear-streaked face.
âWhat do you think that relationship was about?â
His fists clenched again, âA distraction? I thought if I just... started fresh, started with someone who didnât know all my baggage, someone who wouldnât make me feel like I was constantly failing, I could just... forget. Forget everything. Forget her, forget my dad, forget how fucked up I was.â
âAnd did it help you forget?â she asked, her voice steady, but full of understanding.
âNo,â He gritted out, âI couldnât stop thinking about her, even when I was with someone else. Every time I closed my eyes, it was her face I saw. Her voice I heard in my head, telling me I could do better, be better. Shit, all I could do was prove her wrong.â
The therapist leaned forward slightly, her expression compassionate. âIt sounds like she means a great deal to you.â
âTalking about her,â He paused, wincing as if he was in physical pain, âSheâs justâfuck, manâsheâs always in my head. Itâs worse than talking about my parents, worse than remembering my mom dying or my dad. Because with them, itâs just... loss, yâknow? Her? I had her, she was there. She loved me, and I ruined it.â
âWhat do you think she would say to you now, if she could hear this?â the therapist suggested, âYou donât have to think about it, if you donât want to.â
Rafeâs breath hitched, and he rubbed the back of his neck. He chuckled, but it came out jagged âShit, that sounded real fuckinâ pathetic, huh? I canât even talk about her without losing my shit.â
âItâs not pathetic. Give it a try.â
âI donât know,â He sighed, pinching the bridge of his noise, âThat itâs too late? Sheâs done with me, and I deserve it. I think sheâd still tell me to get my shit together and sheâs proud of me for trying, even if Iâm still the same fucked-up mess I was when she left, even if she hates me. Thatâs the kind of person she is.â His throat tightened again, and he looked away. âBut even if she did, it doesnât change the fact that I broke her heart.â
The therapist let the silence stretch for a moment before speaking again. âItâs clear that youâre carrying a lot of pain, not just from losing her, but from how you see yourself in all of this. Have you ever thought about what it might look like to forgive yourself?â
âForgive myself?â Rafe repeated, his voice incredulous. He shook his head, scoffing. âI donât even... know what that would look like, yâknow?â His leg started bouncing again, the restless energy coursing through him. âHow do you even do that? Is there, uh, like, a fucking manual or something for that shit?â His voice cracked on the last word, and he shook his head, âI keep replaying it. All the shit I said to her.â
The therapist didnât say anything, just watched him, her expression poised. He hated that, how calm she was when he felt like he was losing it.
He huffed, leaning back against the couch. âI mean, yeah, maybe thatâs why Iâm here. I donât even know where to fucking start. Itâs justâfuck, itâs just a lot. Too much.â
âItâs a lot of guilt for just one person, Rafe,â she pointed out, âYour mom, your dad, your relationship. And I think youâre rightâtalking about it wonât change the past, but it might help you figure out how to move forward.â
He scoffed âYeah, okay. Move forward. Sounds easy enough.â
âItâs not easy,â she admitted. âBut itâs possible. You donât have to figure it all out today, or even next month.âÂ
âI donât even know where to start.â
âYouâve already started,â she pointed out. âYouâre here.â
Youâre here.Â
Those two words rattled around in his skull. He was here, but why? To make himself feel better? To prove to himselfâor youâthat he could do this, could change? Did he even believe that?
He thought about the nights he spent pacing his room, phone in hand, your number glowing on the screen. Heâd wanted to call, to apologize, to beg, but he couldnât. What would he even say?Â
Rafe let out a long breath, his shoulders slumping, his foot tapping out an uneven rhythm. He didnât have it in him to argue, not anymore.Â
âYeah,â he muttered, âIâm here.â
He was there, sure, but the room still felt small, the air dirty, his own body too restless to sit still for another second. His hands clenched into fists against his thighs, his nails biting into the fabric of his leviâs.
âYou say youâre a mess, but youâre here,â the therapist said after a moment, her tone even. âYouâre talking about it, trying to figure out what went wrong and what you can do to make it right. That doesnât sound like someone whoâs given up.â
He wanted her to push, to give him a reason to bolt out of there, to justify why this whole thing was a stupid mistake. But she didnât, she was waiting like she had all the time in the world.
âWhyâs it gotta be like this, huh? Why does everything have to hurt so f-fucking much? Why canât I just... be normal? Like everyone else?â
âNormal is a lot more complicated than it looks. What does ânormalâ mean to you?â
He scoffed, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. âI donât know. Not waking up every day feeling like... like thereâs this weight on my chest.â
She nodded slowly, her gaze firm but not invasive. âThat sounds exhausting.â
âYeah, well, welcome to my life,â he scoffed, running a hand through his hair. âItâs like... I canât turn it off, yâknow?â He gestured vaguely at himself, at the space around him. âItâs just there. Always.â
âYou mentioned earlier that you feel like youâre not enough,â she said, her tone thoughtful. âNot enough for who?â
âFor anyone,â he said immediately, then paused, his throat tightening. âFor my dad, for my sisters... for her. I mean, shit, if I canât even be enough for me, how the fuck am I supposed to be enough for anyone else?â
The therapist smiled faintly, not unkindly. âThatâs what weâre here to understand.â
Two hours later and 300$ short, his phone buzzed on the passenger seat, the screen lighting up with two missed calls and a flood of texts. All from Topper.Â
Rafe grabbed the phone, unlocking it with his thumb and scrolling through the messages.
Topper: âBro. SOS.â âI think she hates me.â âLike, actually hates me.â âCall me back. This is a situation.â
He huffed out a breath, tossing the phone back onto the seat. âJesus Christ,â he muttered. Topperâs idea of a crisis was probably that your coffee order had foam when you wanted oat milk or some shit.
Rafe rubbed his temples knowing he wasnât exactly in a position to play mediator.Â
The last call came in five minutes ago, he muttered, âWhat the fuck did you do now?â and hit the call button.
Topper picked up on the first ring.
âRafe!â Topperâs voice was a messâ frantic, breathless, like heâd just run a marathon. âOkay, okay, itâs officialâsheâs gonna kill me or usââ
âTop, what the fuck are you talking about?â He snapped, already annoyed.
âIâuhâDid you tell her I told you?â Topper stammered. âBecause she blocked me, everywhere. She told me, âNever speak to me again,â and blocked me! Iâm dead. Sheâs gonna cut me off for good, man.â
Rafe bit the inside of his cheek, âI didnât, but Sarah knows you know.â
âWhy would you tell her?â Topper grumbled out, âYou know she hates me too. Sheâs the enemy.â
âSheâs my sister you fuckinâ idiot.â
âSemantics.â
Rafe leaned back in his seat, staring at the ceiling of his truck. He wanted to hang up, but Topperâs desperation was almost pathetic enough to make him stick around
His friend fell silent for a moment. Then, quietly: âYou think sheâs gonna be okay? I mean, with everything?â
âI donât know. But sheâs strong. Sheâs gonna do what she needs to doâwhether weâre in the picture or not.â
Topper swallowed audibly. âSo⊠what do I do?â
Rafe sighed, âGive her space. Just⊠back off and let her come to you. If she even wants to.â
âItâs kinda crazy, right? Asking you for advice? For the longest time, you were public enemy number one. You, the big, bad ex who broke her heart.â Topperâs laugh was nervous, he knew he was pushing it but couldnât stop himself. âNow she hates me more. Like, I dethroned you. Thatâs wild.â
 âYeah, hilarious,â he muttered.
Topper either didnât catch the sarcasm or chose to ignore it. âA real plot twist. I knew Iâd screw up eventually, but I didnât think Iâd ever top your record.â
âTopper,â Rafe growled, âthis isnât a fuckinâ joke. You donât even know the half of it.â
âWhatâs that supposed to mean? You mean, like⊠she really hates you, orâŠ?â
Wow.
Rafe clicked his tongue in annoyance, âThe fuck you think?â
"Wait, wait," Topper said quickly, his voice climbing. "You still havenât asked her? Confirmed all this? What if Iâwhat if I misunderstood or something?"
His eyes squeezed shut, as if the sheer force of Topperâs stupidity might give him an aneurysm. "Yeah, fuckin' genius. Because itâs so easy to ask someone who wonât even look at me, let alone talk to me."
"Okay, okay, fair," Topper admitted, âYour sister couldâ help.â
âAgain Top, be fucking serious.â
"Yeah, okay, nevermind. But what if itâs not true? What if I made things worse for no reason?"
"You did make things worse," Rafe snapped, his patience hanging by a thread. "Youâre lucky she hasnât shown up at your door to shoot you.â
"Not helping, dude," Topper muttered, then hesitated. "So⊠whatâre you gonna do? I mean, if she wonât talk to you, if Sarah wonât fess up, howâre you gonna know for sure? What if she really isâyâknowâand youâre just sitting here like a dumbass, waiting for a miracle?"
Rafe opened his eyes, staring blankly at the dashboard. Topper wasnât wrong, but hearing it said out loud made his stomach burn, especially after he just spent a good fucking hour talking about you, pouring his feelings out to a stranger he paid for.
Was he wasting timeâtime you needed him to be stepping up?
"I donât know what the fuck Iâm doing, okay? I want to know, butâsheâs got every right to hate me, man. How am I supposed to just⊠show up and ask her something like that, huh?â
Topper exhaled loudly, his usual bravado replaced with uncharacteristic uncertainty. "Yeah, I guess youâre kinda in a lose-lose situation. Damn. Thatâs rough, bro."
"Thanks for the insight. Real helpful," Rafe grumbled, running a hand over his face.
âSheâs blocking me, sheâs not talking to youâyou think sheâs just gonna wake up one day and decide to make it easy for us? For you?"
Rafe sighed, "No. Sheâs not."
"So⊠whatâs the move?"
Rafe stared out the windshield, his heart pounding in his chest. What was the move? He didnât have an answer.
"Guess Iâll figure it out," he said finally, voice rough around the edges.
Topper hummed thoughtfully. "Well, uh, good luck with that. And, yâknow, if you figure it out⊠let me know if Iâm, like, still alive in her eyes or if I should start preparing for witness protection."
Rafe rubbed his forehead, trying to avoid the headache that was building behind his eyes. "Youâre on your own there.â
"Fair," Topper said lightly, âShit, this is depressing. We should go on a boat ride tomorrow.â
A boat day? He could almost hear the suggestion in Topper's voice: a desperate, half-hearted attempt to get away from it all.
"Yeah," Rafe hummed, "Maybe.â
"Seriously, though, it might help," Topper said, but he could tell the guy was genuinely losing it, "Get out on the water, clear our heads, get some space.â
Rafe pinched the bridge of his nose, staring at the dashboard âSpace,â he repeated hollowly. Empty. "Yeah, I guess.â
Topper's voice came through again, sounding more serious "Just don't stay in your head too long, man. Don't get stuck there. You deserve a break too.â
Maybe the boat ride was the kind of distraction he needed to stop the spiral heâd been going down over the past few days. To stop thinking about all the things he couldnât fix right now.
"Alrighâ, weâll do the boat thing."
Topper, as if relieved that Rafe was playing along, responded with a chuckle. âSweet. Iâll get the cooler ready. Itâll be good. Iâll try not to drive you completely insane.â
âDonât make any promises,â He rolled his eyes, feeling the tension in his body soothe slightly, though it was still thereâa bruise that hadn't healed.
The call ended shortly after, leaving him alone with his thoughts again.
He glanced at the phone, the notifications still lighting up with messages from Topper. He barely glanced at them, his mind turning instead to you, as always. To the things he should have said, the things he should have done. To the feeling of you slipping farther away, out of his reach, out of his life.
He didnât know what the hell he was doing anymore, didnât know how to fix any of this.Â
He just knew that at least for a little while, he wouldnât have to be alone with his thoughts.
You were at ponguelandia again for the night, it wasnât exactly where you wanted to be, but beggars canât be choosers, right?
Sarah had insisted, practically dragged you here after hearing about your âsevere anemiaâ situation. Add the fact that carrying the baby could fuck up your health to the point where youâd be bedridden for the rest of your life (or worse), and it was a recipe for a meltdown.Â
You couldnât be alone right now, not after all that. Being around people was better than being alone.Â
Her and John B were being everything you needed, so youâd put on a happy face and pretend you werenât dying inside. They were doing their whole supportive couple thing, and it was almost everything you neededâif it werenât also so annoyingly them. Could they be more in love? Probably not. It was nauseating in the best and worst way, watching the life you couldâve had with someone else if things had turned out differently.
Then there was Kie and JJ. They were around, too, in their usual JJ-and-Kie way: watching you, but not prying, holding back out of respectâor pity. They knew youâd passed out on the beach two weeks ago and that you were âsick,â but Sarah had spared them the details. Small blessings, you guessed.
You were trying your best to keep up the whole "everythingâs fine" act, but it was getting exhausting. Sarah had been the one who knew the real storyâabout the anemia, the baby, the complicationsâand she was the only one who knew how much of a mess you were in.
Youâd asked her not to tell any of them. That didnât make the pretending any easier. All they knew was that you were feeling a little under the weather, run-down, nothing too serious. You didnât want to tell them. Theyâd never understand, not in the way you needed him to. Not when the issue was...everything.
You were curled up on the couch in their messy living room, a blanket thrown over your legs, you were trying to hide under it. You were just tired of pretending you werenât falling apart inside. But you could do it for Sarah, she deserved to have a normal night, one that wasnât filled with you sobbing in her arms.Â
John B was sitting on the other side of the couch, there was an awkward space between you two. Not in a bad way, just... you didnât really know him. He and Rafe had a history, to say things were tense between them was an understatement. But you liked him for Sarah, he treated her right.Â
That was more than you could say for a lot of people in her life, so... here you were.
Kie was sitting cross-legged on the armchair, holding a bottle of something that definitely wasnât soda, while JJ sprawled across the floor by her feet. John B had his arm slung casually around Sarah, who was perched on the couch between you and him, her body half-turned toward you as if she were ready to intervene at a momentâs notice.Â
Always watching, always waiting.
JJ tossed a pretzel at Kiara, which she caught without looking up.
âSo, tomorrowâs the big day,â he announced, grinning like a kid.
Kie rolled her eyes. âItâs not that big of a deal.â
âTo you,â he shot back, pointing dramatically. âTo me? Monumental. Legendary. Historic.â
Sarah groaned. âHeâs talking about the party,â she explained, bracing for your reaction.
âWhat party?â you asked, already regretting the question.
âJust a little thing at Poguelandia,â John B said casually, brushing popcorn crumbs off his jeans. âBonfire, some drinks, a couple of people. Nothing crazy, it's promotional."
 âA couple of people? Dude, half the islandâs gonna show up.â
John B shrugged, the picture of nonchalance. âItâs not a party unless itâs packed.â
âExactly,â JJ said, leaning back on his elbows. âYou have to come. Itâs gonna be sick.â
You made a face, âIâm not really in a party mood.â
Sarah turned to you immediately, her eyes wide and full of meaning. The look. The one that said, Câmon, you need this.
âItâd be fun,â she pouted, âYou could use a little fun right now.â
âIâm fine,â you said, avoiding her eyes and focusing on the popcorn in your lap. âI donât need a party to cheer me up.â
Kiara raised an eyebrow. âOh, come on. Just a chill day. You wonât even have to talk to anyone if you donât want to.â
âAnd thereâll be drinks,â JJ added with a wink. âOr, you know, drink-adjacent options for those who canât hang.â
For a second, your stomach almost dropped. Did he know? The way he said itâso casuallyâit almost felt like he did. It felt like he was teasing you in that obnoxious JJ way, but with an awareness that made you want to crawl out of your skin. But then logic kicked in.
They didnât know. Not about the baby, at least. As far as they were concerned, you were just sick. Which, to be fair, you were. âDrink-adjacentâ made sense because no one expected you to down shots when you could barely keep yourself upright most days.
Still, the comment made you uneasy, and your fingers tightened around the edge of the blanket.
âRight,â you grimaced, your voice stiff. âBecause nothing says âpartyâ like seltzer water.â
âThatâs the spirit. Weâll even get the fancy kind, with lime or whatever. Really roll out the red carpet for you.â
Kie snorted. âYouâre so generous, JJ.â
âHey, Iâm a man of the people baby,â he said, throwing his hands up like he was defending his honor.
Sarah nudged you again, harder this time, and you glanced at her out of the corner of your eye. She was giving you that look again, the one that screamed, Just say yes already.
âYouâre not gonna let this go, are you?â you muttered, aiming for annoyed but landing somewhere closer to resigned.
âNope,â she said brightly.
You sighed, sinking deeper into the couch. âFine. Iâll think about it.â
JJ whooped, pumping a fist in the air like youâd just agreed to crown him king of the Pogues. âThatâs what Iâm talking about!â
âI didnât say I was going. I said Iâd think about it.â
âYeah, yeah,â he said, waving you off like the details didnât matter. âThinking about it is basically saying yes.â JJ grinned at you, âBut yâknow,â he started, pointing a lazy finger in your direction, âitâs still kind of insane that youâre here. The literal kook of the kooks.â
You rolled your eyes, âAnd yet, here I am. Stuck with the pogues. Truly the highlight of my life.â
âAdmit it. You love it. The... gritty charm.â
âRight,â you casted a skeptical glance around the room. âBecause who wouldnât love the charm of beer-stained furniture, half-empty snack bags, and... whatever that smell is?â You wrinkled your nose for effect, though you werenât entirely joking.
The place was a dump.
John B chuckled from his corner of the couch, tossing a piece of popcorn at JJ. âSheâs not wrong, man. This place barely qualifies as livable.â
âLivable?â JJ looked mock-offended, clutching his chest like heâd been mortally wounded. âThis is prime real estate! You kooks donât appreciate the artistic chaos.â
Kiara looked up from her phone. âItâs chaos, all right.â
Sarah leaned toward you, her voice low and teasing. âDonât let him get to you. Heâs just salty you make this place look like a dump by comparison.â
âPlease,â JJ cut in, leaning forward, âThis place looks like a dump because it is a dump. But itâs our dump.â He grinned, flicking his eyes back to you. âAnd now, apparently, itâs yours too. Welcome to the family, kook princess.â
You snorted, unable to help yourself. âDonât get used to it.â
JJ clutched his chest again. âOuch. Cold. But fair.â
The truth was, you did think the place was terrible.Â
Objectively, it was, you already knew that since last week.
The furniture didnât match, the walls had stains you didnât want to think too hard about, and everything felt sticky, even if it wasnât. You were used to perfect beachfront properties with matching decor and staff that catered to your every whim. This? It was a wreck.
But at the same time, there was something about it that felt... alive. The chaos wasnât just chaosâit was theirs. The mismatched furniture, the random surfboards propped in corners, the lived-in feel of a space that wasnât trying to impress anyone. It made you hate it and love it all at once.
Your eyes flicked to Kie, who rolled hers at JJ but couldnât hide her smile. He said something under his breath, too quiet for anyone else to hear, and she shoved his shoulder in mock annoyance. He grinned at her, that lazy grin he probably didnât even realize he saved just for her. And she was trying so hard to look unimpressed, but her expression softened anyway, she couldnât help herself.
Sarah caught you looking and smirked, nudging you. âCute, right?â she whispered.
You gave her a half-smile, more honest this time. âAnnoyingly so.â
JJ, oblivious to the exchange, flopped onto his back. âI donât know why you all keep insulting my hospitality. If this was a five-star resort, it wouldnât have vibes.â
âYeah, vibes of a condemned building,â you grumbled back, unable to help yourself.
And when everyone laughedâKieâs chuckle, Sarahâs giggle, JJâs full-blown cackleâyou hated yourself a little for loving it here, even as you pretended you didnât.
Would things have been different if you hadnât been born a Kook?
The thought hit you out of nowhere, unwelcomely, like it always did when you let your guard down. Would your family still be alive if you werenât wrapped up in the trappings of wealth and privilege? If your dad hadnât been able to afford that stupid private jet, if your mom hadnât insisted on using it for every family trip, if your sister hadnât tagged along on that one last flight...
It was a cruel, useless spiral of what-ifs that never went anywhere but still had you choking on guilt every time. Because it wasnât just the money. It was the whole stupid kook worldâthe private schools, the country clubs, the constant need to show off and be better than everyone else. That world had shaped your family, pushed them into the roles they played, and it had been the death of them, literally and figuratively.
You wondered, not for the first time, if they wouldâve been safer if youâd all been normal. Just some middle-class family driving to vacations in an old station wagon, complaining about rest-stop food and fighting over the radio. Maybe your parents wouldnât have been so busy, and maybe your sister wouldnât have been on that flight at all.
Your throat burned, and you blinked hard, trying to push the thoughts back where they belonged. The pogues were still talking, still laughing, completely unaware of the war blazing in your head.
âYouâre lucky to be here, kook princess. Youâre getting the real-life experience.â
You forced a weak smile, still staring at the popcorn. âThe real-life experience.â
If this was real life, you thought bitterly, maybe you wouldnât have so much to regret. Maybe youâd still have them. Maybe youâd even know who you were outside of the perfect, shiny bubble youâd grown up inâone that had popped so catastrophically you were still finding pieces of it in your skin.
Maybe if you hadnât been born a kook, you wouldnât have met Rafe when you were kids. You wouldnât have been his best friend, wouldnât have spent your whole childhood trailing after him, clinging to every crooked smile and reckless dare like they were proof that you mattered.
You wouldnât have fallen in love with him at sixteen, back when you thought love meant him driving you to the beach in his dadâs truck, his hand on your thigh, telling you you were the only person who really got him. You wouldnât have had your heart broken by him now, when he was with someone else. Your hand drifted to your stomach, a subconscious gesture that made your breath hitch. You wouldnât be pregnant with his kid, either. Or sick.
Youâd built this whole life around him without even realizing it.
Would it have been better? Not having Rafe at all?
You wanted to say yes. You wanted to imagine a version of your life where heâd never existed, where you didnât have his name carved into your heart. Where you werenât here now, still loving him. Where you werenât pregnant and alone while he was somewhere else.
The truthâthe awful, undeniable truthâwas that you couldnât imagine your life without him.
For all the ways heâd broken you, Rafe had been the one to hold you together when everything else fell apart, the one who pulled you out of bed when you couldnât find the strength, who made you laugh when you thought youâd forgotten how.
If it werenât for him, you didnât know if youâd even be here now.
And you wouldnât trade the sound of his laugh for anything in the world. Not the condescending biting one he used to throw around when he was being an ass, but the real one, the one that came out when he was caught off guard.Â
Even if you hated him, you couldnât regret him. Not all the way. Not enough to wish heâd never been in your life. Despite all of itâheâd been there when no one else was, that was enough to keep him tethered to your heart, even now, when you wished it wasnât.
âEarth to princess,â Kiara's voice cut through your thoughts, bringing you back to the dimly lit room and the blanket over your legs. She waved a hand in front of your face, âYou still with us, or are you planning your escape route?â
You forced a smile, âJust trying to figure out how I got roped into your weird little cult, thatâs all.â
They laughed, the sound was bright enough to pull you out of your head, just for a moment. It wasnât the same as Rafeâs laugh, but it was something. Right now, youâd take it.
When you woke up, the house was already buzzing.Â
The pogues were up and at it, setting up for whatever party they had planned. Youâd slept in, which wasnât like you, but Sarah had all but forced you to stay in bed last night, insisting you needed the rest. Sheâd even made John B sleep on the couch so you could take his spot in their bed. You felt badâguilty, reallyâyou tried to tell her it wasnât necessary, but Sarah was Sarah. Stubborn, loyal, annoyingly sweet Sarah.
The morning, however, had been nothing short of a disaster.
You barely made it out of bed before you were sprinting to the bathroom, dry-heaving over the toilet like youâd had one too many shots at a party the night before. Except, this wasnât from partyingâit was the fucking morning sickness. Thank God everyone else was outside setting up, or youâd have to deal with their questions.
You stayed in the bathroom longer than you wanted to, rinsing your mouth out and glaring at yourself in the mirror like your reflection was to blame for your misery. Your hair was a mess, your skin looked pale. You looked like shit.
To make matters worse, the house was painfully loud. Every noise from outside echoed through the shitty walls, stabbing into your head. The party. Where everyone would be drinking, laughing, and probably noticing that you were the only one sitting in a corner looking like youâd been hit by a train.
Groaning, you wiped your face with a cold washcloth. âFuck,â you complained under your breath, glaring at yourself in the mirror.Â
You grabbed the bottle of pre-natal vitamins from your bag, the ones that looked like horse pills, and twisted off the cap. The nausea was already crawling up your throat again, and the last thing you wanted was to shove a giant vitamin down your stomach.
You didn't have much of a choice. You needed it, not just for the baby, but because of the anemia. If you didn't stay on top of it, youâd end up worse than you felt nowâand that was already a nightmare you were trying to avoid.
You stared at the pill in your hand, mentally preparing yourself.
âJust swallow it,â you muttered, willing yourself into doing it. It took a moment, but you finally threw it back. You chased it down with a sip of water, grimacing as it settled in your stomach. It felt like you were choking on a rock, and you had to fight to keep your stomach from revolting all over again.
For a while, you sat back on the edge of the bed, elbows on your knees, head in your hands, hating the lingering taste of bile in your mouth even after your oral hygiene.
You let yourself fall back, staring at the ceiling fan as it spun lazily, pressing a hand to your stomach, not out of affection but frustration.
"Iâm trying here, okay? Can you at least meet me halfway?" you muttered.
The distant noises and commotion from outside seeped in through the window, but it only made you feel more isolated. You reached for your phone, scrolling aimlessly through notifications you didnât care about. A text from Sarah popped up:Â "Take your time. Weâve got it covered out here.â
You tossed the phone aside, rubbing your temples. You wished you could just stay here all day, curled up under the covers, but the thought of Sarahâs concerned face, of the inevitable questions and glances, made that impossible. You were tired of being a problem, tired of being the fragile one everyone tiptoed around.
You sighed, knowing there was no way youâd make it through this day without looking like total crap. You grabbed a hoodie from the back of the door, tossed your hair up into a bun, and made your way downstairs.
You found her in the kitchen, already pouring drinks and bossing JJ and Pope around. She spotted you lingering in the doorway and waved you off before you could say anything.
âNope,â she shook her head, clicking her tongue at you like you were a misbehaving child. âDonât even think about it. Go sit down. Rest. Itâs gonna be a long day, and you need it, okay?â
You blinked at her, then at the mess around the house. Decorations were half-done outside, the tables and counter were an explosion of snacks, and JJ was currently trying to balance three folding chairs in one hand like a party trick. Kie was arguing with John B about where the cooler should go, and Sarah was somehow keeping it all from falling apart.
You leaned against the doorway, hand still on your stomach, glaring at her as she poured some sort of drink into a plastic cup. âYou couldâve woken me up. Iâm not completely useless.â
Sarah spun around, eyebrows raised and gave you a look that could kill. âUh, no, you donât get to complain. I let you sleep in because you need it, and Iâm not about to let you overdo it, okay.â
You sighed, leaning against the counter. âI feel like a freeloader right now.â
âYouâre not a freeloader,â Sarah said, rolling her eyes. âYouâre my sister. And youâve been through... a lot. So just chill. Weâve got this.â
âIâm not an invalid.â
She raised an eyebrow. âYouâre pregnant, which means youâre officially on my do-not-let-her-do-anything list. Now go sit your ass down before I make one of them carry you.â
âDonât drag them into this,â you muttered, but you were already giving up the fight. Sarah was like a pit bull when she made up her mind, and there was no arguing with her. You nodded reluctantly, letting her win this one. It wasnât like you had the energy to argue anyway.
Outside, the rest of the group was scattered around the yard, setting up for what promised to be a classic pogues-style party. Pope and Cleo had arrived at some point; Pope was trying to figure out how to hang a string of lights between two trees, while Cleo stood nearby, holding a roll of tape and offering sarcastic commentary.
âMaybe if youâd let me do it, we wouldnât be out here for an hour,â Cleo teased, tilting her head.
âAnd maybe if you didnât talk so much, I could concentrate, baby.â
JJ was dragging a cooler across the sand, muttering something about how âbeer doesnât carry itself,â while Kie followed behind him, laughing and tossing bags of chips into a pile on the picnic table.
Sarah joined you on the porch, a can of sparkling water in her hand. âSee? Weâve got it under control,â she said, gesturing to the scene in front of you. âNow, sit down, relax, and enjoy the show.â
You raised an eyebrow. âWhat about you? Arenât you gonna take your own advice?â
Sarah grinned, âIâll relax when the party starts. For now, my mission is to make sure you donât lift a finger.â
âYouâre impossible.â
âYeah, but you love me,â she replied, linking her arm through yours.
And she wasnât wrong. As much as you hated being doted on, it was hard not to appreciate everything sheâd been doing for you.
Cleo spotted you from across the yard and waved, her smile wide and warm. âYo! You gonna come hang out or just stand there looking pretty?â
âBoth,â JJ called out, smirking as he cracked open a beer.
You rolled your eyes but couldnât help smiling.Â
âI said pretty, rude boy. It doesnât include your ass.â
âCleo, you wound me. I thought we had something special.â
âYeah, itâs called my patience, and itâs runninâ real thin,â Cleo yelled back, smirking as she handed Pope the tape. âHere. Fix your mess before the whole damn tree comes down.â
Pope muttered something under his breath but took the tape anyway, climbing back onto the ladder. âYou couldâve just done this yourself if you were so sure about it.â
âAnd rob you of the chance to prove me wrong? Never,â Cleo quipped, crossing her arms as she stepped back to watch him work.
The two of you headed toward the table where Kie was busy arranging snacks, her brows furrowed in concentration.
âHow are we still out of guac?â She muttered, her tone more annoyed than concerned. âI swear I made enough to feed an army.â
âYour boyfriend happened,â Sarah said without missing a beat. âI saw him sneak off with a bowl earlier.â
Kie groaned, hands on her hips as she glared at the blonde boy, who was now lounging in a chair with his feet propped up on the cooler.
âYou are a menace to society.â
âAnd yet, here I am, invited to all your parties,â JJ replied, raising his beer in a mock toast.Â
Kie grabbed a chip and threw it at him, hitting him square in the forehead, "It's your party too, dick."
âGuys,â Pope called out from the ladder, sounding exasperated. âCan someone just hold the other end of the lights? Iâm not trying to die out here.â
âI got it,â Cleo said, strolling over and grabbing the string of lights. âDonât let go of that tape, or youâre on your own.â
Cleo had finally climbed up the ladder with Pope, muttering something sarcastic, only for him to pull her into a quick kiss that made her giggle.
It wasnât long before everyone started getting ready for the party. It was only around 3:30, but you could tell everyone was in full-on prep mode, running around and grabbing last-minute things. You figured you should probably start getting ready, too, if you wanted to make it to the party without looking completely out of it.
You escaped, fully aware that Sarah would check on you soon if you didnât start moving. Sitting on the bed, you scrolled aimlessly for outfit inspiration, but everything felt wrongâtoo tight, too flashy, or too⊠not you. You hadnât exactly packed for a pogues-style party, and the thought of showing up in your worn-out jeans or one of John Bâs oversized T-shirts made you shudder.
Sarahâs closet caught your eye, the door slightly ajar. A beacon of decent fashion that you knew was still hiding in there, despite her efforts to shed the kook label. She still had a few relics from her old life, buried beneath tie-dye and frayed denim.
Youâd teased her about it last week, calling her out for keeping a little piece of her former self tucked away. Sheâd rolled her eyes and said, âA girlâs gotta have options.â
Today, you needed those options.
You bypassed the flashier options in favor of something understated. Nestled between a linen sundress and a denim jacket was exactly what you needed: a simple, fitted black dress. It was sleeveless, with a subtle scoop neckline and a hemline that hit just above the knee. The fabric was soft and unassuming but hugged your frame just right, giving it a quietly polished look.
âThis one,â you murmured, pulling it off the hanger. It wasnât loud or overly attention-grabbingâmore like the kind of dress that someone who didnât need to try would wear.Â
Elegant, minimal, perfect.
Sliding it on, you immediately felt the difference. It didnât scream for attention, but it made you feel put together, which was exactly what you needed right now. You ran your hands over the fabric, smoothing out any wrinkles before stepping into a pair of nude sandals youâd found shoved in the back of the closet. Flat, simple, and mercifully easy to walk in.
Sarah popped her head in just as you were brushing your hair out into soft waves. âThere she is,â she said, giving you a once-over. âGod forbid you wear something ugly, huh?â
You tugged lightly at the hem of the dress. âIâm doing this closet justice.â
âYou are. I forgot I even had that dress or I would've given it away."
âThank God for that,â you replied, slipping on a simple gold bracelet you found on her dresser. âThe pogues' style is great and all, but I have my limits.â You hadnât even touched your makeup yet. With a sigh, you glanced at Sarah. âIâll be ready in five.â
She raised an eyebrow but didnât tease, already heading downstairs to check on the others. You glanced at the clockâit was almost party time, but you needed a few more minutes to look presentable.
You grabbed her makeup bag from her vanity and settled in front of the mirror. Starting with a light layer of foundation, you evened out your complexion. You werenât trying to hide anything; you just needed to look less like youâd just rolled out of bed.
For the first time in what felt like years, you werenât thinking about the baby. You werenât worrying about keeping your secret from Rafe or everyone else around you. You werenât wrapped up in the anxiety of it all. Instead, you were just doing something that felt simple, that belonged to your ageâputting on makeup, getting ready for a party, like a normal twenty-year-old something woman.
This was the most normal youâd felt in months.
Youâd been so consumed with everything pregnancy-related, trying to stay on top of your emotions while dealing with the fear of being found out. It was exhausting. You had forgotten what it felt like to be carefree, to be youânot just someone wrapped up in worry. There was something so familiar about itâthe way the brush swept across your skin, the way you mixed your bronzer just right to highlight your cheekbones. It felt like the old you. Who knew this shit could be so therapeutic?
A soft sigh slipped from your lips. You needed more moments like this. Simple, easy moments where you didnât have to think about the rest of the world. Just doing your makeup. Just getting dressed. Just being youâeven for a little while.
When you made your way downstairs again, the mess had somehow multiplied. The house was alive with movement, and the sound of JJ yelling something unintelligible from the backyard. People had already started arrivingâpogues, and a handful of kooks who never missed a good party. You spotted Sarah in the kitchen, pouring drinks into a massive punch bowl, looking entirely in her element.
You sidled up to Kie, who was setting out plates of food with military precision. âHey, you need any help with this? Or anything, really?â
Kie glanced up, her brows shooting toward her hairline as she appraised you. âIs this the control freak in you?â
âFunny,â you deadpanned, leaning on the counter. âSeriously, though. Put me to work.â
She snorted, grabbing a handful of napkins and shoving them into your hands. âFine. You can help set these out on the tables outside. But if Sarah catches you, this conversation didnât happen.â
âDeal.âÂ
The yard looked like something out of a fever dream. String lights were half-strung between trees, chairs and tables were scattered everywhere. A cooler sat precariously close to tipping over, its contents already being raided by JJ, who was popping open another beer while Cleo scolded him for being âabsolutely useless.â
You moved through the yard, laying out napkins and straightening plates, feeling some of the earlier tension and sleep deprivation ease from your back. It felt good to do something normal, something productive. By the time you circled back to the porch, Sarah was waiting for you, hands on her hips and a knowing look in her eyes. âI thought I told you to sit down.â
You shrugged, trying to play it off. âKie needed help. Iâm fine.â
Sarah didnât look convinced, but she didnât push it. Instead, she handed you a cup of water and gestured toward one of the chairs on the porch. âAt least pretend youâre taking it easy, okay? Youâre gonna need your energy when this party really gets going.â
You rolled your eyes but took the seat, sipping the drink as you watched the guests buzz around the yard.Â
Cleo and Kiara were already in tears laughing as JJ dramatically narrated Popeâs âworld record attempt,â complete with fake announcer voice. By the time Pope finally flipped upside down with his help, everyone was cheering loud enough to drown out the music blasting from the backyard speakers.
JJ was yelling something about âlegendary keg stand formâ as Pope balanced upside down on the keg, supported by Cleo and a very unenthused Kie.
It was hilarious watching his usually composed demeanor dissolve into giggles as beer dripped down his face, but even funnier was JJ hyping him up like this was the Olympics. âThatâs my boy! New record! Somebody time this shit!â
You laughed, for once letting yourself enjoy the day. It felt good to be surrounded by fun, to not be caught up in your head for a change. Maybe Sarah had been rightâyou needed this.
For once, you were wiping tears of laughter from your eyes. It felt so good to do it too, to feel like you were part of something instead of just watching from the sidelines. You could breathe again.
Pope wobbled, barely lasting ten seconds before collapsing onto the grass. JJ threw his arms up like theyâd just won the championship, shouting, âA legend was born tonight!â
You felt all the stress and heaviness youâd been dragging and moping around had finally been put on pause.
Then, subtle at first, a tickle at the back of your neck, a whisper of unease. You moved around on the railing, trying to shake it off. You glanced around, casually at first, scanning the crowd. Everyone seemed caught up in somethingâJJ was on his third keg stand attempt, Kie and Cleo were busy arguing over the playlist, and the rest of the partygoers were either dancing or clustered around the fire pit.
Nothing out of the ordinary. You tried to ignore it at first, brushing it off as your brainâs way of being a buzzkill. It had a way of doing thatâruining a perfectly good night with its tendency to overanalyze everything.  You were having a good time, and you werenât about to let paranoia ruin it.
But then you spotted her, Sofia.
She was standing near the back door, lit by the string lights strung across the porch, holding a beer cup. And she was staring at you.
Not just a quick glance, not the way someone looks when theyâre zoning out. No. This wasâŠstaring. Your stomach twisted. This couldnât be about you, she was just drunk and in her feelings or whatever. But there was something about the way she lookedâsad, almost heartbrokenâthat made you want to bolt home.
You turned away, feeling like you couldnât breathe, the night wasnât as fun anymore. Maybe she wasnât even looking at you. Except, you couldnât shake it. You drained the rest of your water and headed inside to refill it, telling yourself you needed a second to breathe.
But of course, the second you stepped into the kitchen, Sofia was there.
She was cryingâfull-on cryingâher mascara smudged and her cheeks streaked with tears. She was drunk, that much was obvious, so drunk she had to grab the counter.
Jesus.
 âUhâŠ? Are you okay?â
You werenât Sofiaâs biggest fan.
She had the love of your lifeâthe guy youâd once thought was it for youâand that alone made it impossible to feel anything but complicated about her. Add to that the fact that she was a pogue, and⊠youâd never been friends.
The last thing you wanted to do tonight was play therapist, especially not for her. But she was still a girl, drunk and crying in the middle of a party, and no matter how much historyâor lack thereofâexisted between you, there was no way you were going to leave her like that.
You sighed, setting your cup down on the counter, âDo you need to sit down? Water?â
She only sobbed harder. Okay, not helping, noted.
âHey, sit down,â you murmured, guiding her to the bench by the window. She didnât resist, collapsing onto it.
Her eyes glassy and red. She looked up at you like you were the last person she wanted to see, but also, somehow, the only one she needed.
âIâm sorry,â she choked out, her voice cracked. âI shouldnâtâthis wasnât supposed to happen.â
You crouched down in front of her, arms resting on your knees as you tried to figure out what the hell she meant. âWhat wasnât supposed to happen? Did someone do something to you?â
âNo,â she said quickly, shaking her head hard enough to make her curls bounce. âNo, itâs not like that. Itâs just⊠itâs Rafe. Heââ Her voice broke, and she covered her face with her hands.
The second she said his nameâRafeâyou already knew.
You didnât know the details, didnât need them, but you knew it was going to hurt like a bitch. That name always did.
Sofiaâs voice cracked again, her words coming out between hiccuping breaths and slurred apologies, but youâd already braced yourself for whatever you were about to hear.
And yet, when she finally said itâhe dumped meâit still felt like someone had thrown a bucket of water in your face.
What the fuck were you supposed to say to that?
"Iâm not sure what you want me to do with this."
She flinched, her glassy eyes darting up to meet yours, but she didnât say anything, just sniffled and stared at you like you had all the answers. You didnât. Not for her.
"Youâre upset, I get that," you continued, "But coming to me about Rafe? Really? What did you think was going to happen here?"
Her lip trembled, you thought she might start wailing again. "IâI didnât plan this, okay? I just⊠I didnât know who else toâ"
On one hand, you felt bad for her.
How could you not? She was drunk, sobbing, in a way that felt painfully familiar. But on the other hand⊠what the fuck did she expect? Sheâd dated Rafeâyour Rafeâknowing you were a six-year-long shadow she could never step out of.
She was with him knowing now she wanted you to what? Comfort her? Be her shoulder to cry on?
This wasnât the time to be petty or mean, not when she was looking at you like you were the only person who could possibly understand.
âH-he dumped me,â she repeated, her voice cracking. âsaid⊠he said heâs not over you. That he c-canât give me what I d-deserve because⊠because his heartâs still with you.â
You pursed your lips, a tangled knot of guilt, and something dangerously close to vindication swimming in your head.
Of course, it felt good to hear itâof course it did. But that didnât make it easier to watch another girl fall apart in front of you because of him. As pathetic as it was, you knew what it felt like to be that girl.
You bit the inside of your cheek, holding back the snarky comment sitting on your tongue. As much as this whole thing screamed bad decision after bad decision, she was still here, crying her eyes out, and you werenât heartless. Not entirely, anyway.
âI knew,â she whispered, âI knew he wasnât over you. From the beginning. I thought I c-could⊠I donât know. Change his mind?â She let out a choked sob. âIâm sittin' h-here, drunk and crying to you, of all people, because I d-didnât li-isten to my gut when it told me to walk away. Iâm sorry,â she blubbered, wiping at her face with the sleeve of her shirt. âI shouldnât be bothering you with this. You probably hate me.â
You didnât answer right away because, yeah, she wasnât entirely wrong. You didnât like her, that was for damn sure. But hate? Hate took too much energy.
You didnât know what to say to that. Couldnât say what you really thoughtâthat she shouldâve walked away, that no one could ever fill a space someone else left behind. So instead, you sat down beside her.
âI know it doesnât help,â you said finally, âbut itâs not your fault. Rafe⊠heâs complicated. He doesnât know what he wants half the time, and even when he does, heâs too scared to hold on to it.â
She looked at you through teary eyes. âHe held on to you for years.â
âYeah. And look how that turned out.â
"If this is how I feel now, I canât even imagine what you went through."
You bit your lip. She honestly thought this was the time for some heartfelt apology? God, bless her heartâno, scratch that, bless her delusions. She was standing there, looking like a wet mess, telling you she couldnât imagine how you felt? If only she knew.
You sighed, grabbing a towel from the counter and tossing it at her. "Here. Fix your face. You look like youâve been crying in a frat basement."
She caught the towel, her cheeks burning as she dabbed at her ruined makeup. "Iâthanks," Her voice shook as she continued her drunk ramble, "I didnât know... I didnât realize how bad it hurt you."
You took a breath, part of you wanting to snap at her, tell her it was too little, too late. You couldâve easily unleashed all the venom youâd kept inside for so long. But then, there was that little voice in your headâone that, surprisingly, wasnât making fun of her. You couldnât be that cruel, you werenât heartless, no matter how complicated things had gotten.
Sofia, in this stateâdrunk, emotionalâdidnât deserve that.Â
"You need to get your shit together, stop letting your entire world revolve around him.â You could see her flinch at that last part, but you werenât done yet.
How ironic.
"Youâre better than this. You donât need a guyâespecially Rafeâto make you feel whole. I learned something, and youâre going to learn it too. Life doesnât revolve around some guyâs bullshit feelings. The sooner you realize that, the better off youâll be, put yourself first, always. Iâve been there. Youâve got to live with the fact that he chose someone else. It doesnât matter if you did everything rightâsometimes, itâs just not enough."
There was a part of you that really felt sorry for her, the part that was human, not just jaded from all the pain. But there was also a voice in your head saying, You donât owe her understanding.
Loving Rafe Cameron could feel like the best and worst thing at the same time.
You watch her carefully, making sure sheâs soaking it in. "You deserve better than a guy who doesn't know how to value you. And donât get me wrong, I get it. Weâve all been there. You canât fix him."
Sofia was still sniffling and wiping her eyes, catching her breath, maybe even trying to piece things together. You felt like you had done something... good? Maybe not good, but at least youâd been the bigger person, showing her a bit of mercy.
Before she could answer, the door creaked, and you both turned to see your cousin standing there. Instantly, all alarm bells went off in your head, your eyes narrowing instantly, hands searching for something to throw at his face.
"Topper," you spit out, the name coming out like acid, "What the fuck are you doing here?"
ooop- y'all not ready for chapter 12 heheheh
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25 Prose Tips For Writers đïžâš Part 1
Hey there!đâš
As writers, we all know that feeling when we read a sentence so beautifully crafted that it takes our breath away. We pause, reread it, and marvel at how the author managed to string those words together in such a captivating way. Well, today I'm going to unpack a few secrets to creating that same magic in your own writing. These same tips I use in my writing.
But before I begin, please remember that writing is an art form, and like any art, it's subjective. What sounds beautiful to one person might not resonate with another. The tips I'm about to share are meant to be tools in your writer's toolkit, not rigid rules. Feel free to experiment, play around, and find what works best for your unique voice and style.
Power of Rhythm đ”
One of the most overlooked aspects of beautiful prose is rhythm. Just like music, writing has a flow and cadence that can make it pleasing to the ear (or mind's ear, in this case). Here are some ways to incorporate rhythm into your writing:
a) Vary your sentence length: Mix short, punchy sentences with longer, flowing ones. This creates a natural ebb and flow that keeps your reader engaged.
Example: "The sun set. Darkness crept in, wrapping the world in its velvet embrace. Stars winked to life, one by one, until the sky was a glittering tapestry of light."
b) Use repetition strategically: Repeating words or phrases can create a hypnotic effect and emphasize important points.
Example: "She walked through the forest, through the shadows, through the whispers of ancient trees. Through it all, she walked with purpose."
c) Pay attention to the stressed syllables: In English, we naturally stress certain syllables in words. Try to end important sentences with stressed syllables for a stronger impact.
Example: "Her heart raced as she approached the door." (Stronger ending) vs. "She approached the door as her heart raced." (Weaker ending)
Paint with Words đš
Beautiful prose often creates vivid imagery in the reader's mind. Here are some techniques to help you paint with words:
a) Use specific, concrete details: Instead of general descriptions, zoom in on particular details that bring a scene to life.
Example: Instead of: "The room was messy." Try: "Crumpled papers overflowed from the waste bin, books lay spine-up on every surface, and a half-eaten sandwich peeked out from under a stack of wrinkled clothes."
b) Appeal to all five senses: Don't just describe what things look like. Include smells, sounds, textures, and tastes to create a fully immersive experience.
Example: "The market bustled with life. Colorful fruits glistened in the morning sun, their sweet aroma mingling with the earthy scent of fresh herbs. Vendors called out their wares in sing-song voices, while customers haggled in animated tones. Sarah's fingers brushed against the rough burlap sacks of grain as she passed, and she could almost taste the tang of ripe oranges on her tongue."
c) Use unexpected comparisons: Fresh similes and metaphors can breathe new life into descriptions.
Example: Instead of: "The old man was very thin." Try: "The old man was a whisper of his former self, as if life had slowly erased him, leaving behind only the faintest outline."
Choose Your Words Wisely đ
Every word in your prose should earn its place. Here are some tips for selecting the right words:
a) Embrace strong verbs: Replace weak verb + adverb combinations with single, powerful verbs.
Example: Instead of: "She walked quickly to the store." Try: "She hurried to the store." or "She dashed to the store."
b) Be specific: Use precise nouns instead of general ones.
Example: Instead of: "She picked up the flower." Try: "She plucked the daisy."
c) Avoid clichés: Clichés can make your writing feel stale. Try to find fresh ways to express common ideas.
Example: Instead of: "It was raining cats and dogs." Try: "The rain fell in sheets, transforming the streets into rushing rivers."
Play with Sound đ¶
The sound of words can contribute greatly to the beauty of your prose. Here are some techniques to make your writing more musical:
a) Alliteration: Repeating initial consonant sounds can create a pleasing effect.
Example: "She sells seashells by the seashore."
b) Assonance: Repeating vowel sounds can add a subtle musicality to your prose.
Example: "The light of the bright sky might ignite a fight."
c) Onomatopoeia: Using words that sound like what they describe can make your writing more immersive.
Example: "The bees buzzed and hummed as they flitted from flower to flower."
Art of Sentence Structure đïž
How you structure your sentences can greatly affect the flow and impact of your prose. Here are some tips:
a) Use parallel structure: When listing items or actions, keep the grammatical structure consistent.
Example: "She came, she saw, she conquered."
b) Try periodic sentences: Build suspense by putting the main clause at the end of the sentence.
Example: "Through storm and strife, across oceans and continents, despite all odds and obstacles, they persevered."
c) Experiment with sentence fragments: While not grammatically correct, sentence fragments can be powerful when used intentionally for emphasis or style.
Example: "She stood at the edge of the cliff. Heart racing. Palms sweating. Ready to jump."
Power of White Space âŹ
Sometimes, what you don't say is just as important as what you do. Use paragraph breaks and short sentences to create pauses and emphasize important moments.
Example: "He opened the letter with trembling hands.
Inside, a single word.
'Yes.'"
Read Your Work Aloud đŁïž
One of the best ways to polish your prose is to read it aloud. This helps you catch awkward phrasing, repetitive words, and rhythm issues that you might miss when reading silently.
Edit Ruthlessly âïž
Beautiful prose often comes from rigorous editing. Don't be afraid to cut words, sentences, or even entire paragraphs if they don't serve the overall beauty and effectiveness of your writing.
Study the Masters đ
Please! Read widely and pay attention to how your favorite authors craft their prose. Analyze sentences you find particularly beautiful and try to understand what makes them work.
Practice, Practice, Practice đȘ
Like any skill, writing beautiful prose takes practice. Set aside time to experiment with different techniques and styles. Try writing exercises focused on specific aspects of prose, like describing a scene using only sound words, or rewriting a simple sentence in ten different ways.
Remember, that developing your prose style is a journey, not a destination. It's okay if your first draft isn't perfect â that's what editing is for! The most important thing is to keep writing, keep experimenting, and keep finding joy in the process.
Here are a few more unique tips to help you on your prose-perfecting journey:
Create a Word Bank đŠ
Keep a notebook or digital file where you collect beautiful words, phrases, or sentences you come across in your reading. This can be a great resource when you're looking for inspiration or the perfect word to complete a sentence.
Use the "Rule of Three" 3ïžâŁ
There's something inherently satisfying about groups of three. Use this to your advantage in your writing, whether it's in listing items, repeating phrases, or structuring your paragraphs.
Example: "The old house groaned, creaked, and whispered its secrets to the night."
Power of Silence đ€«
Sometimes, the most powerful prose comes from what's left unsaid. Use implication and subtext to add depth to your writing.
Example: Instead of: "She was heartbroken when he left." Try: "She stared at his empty chair across the breakfast table, the untouched coffee growing cold."
Play with Perspective đïž
Experiment with different points of view to find the most impactful way to tell your story. Sometimes, an unexpected perspective can make your prose truly memorable.
Example: Instead of describing a bustling city from a human perspective, try describing it from the point of view of a bird soaring overhead, or a coin passed from hand to hand.
Use Punctuation Creatively đïž
While it's important to use punctuation correctly, don't be afraid to bend the rules a little for stylistic effect. Em dashes, ellipses, and even unconventional use of periods can add rhythm and emphasis to your prose.
Example: "She hesitatedâheart pounding, palms sweatingâthen knocked on the door."
Create Contrast đ
Juxtapose different elements in your writing to create interest and emphasis. This can be in terms of tone, pacing, or even the literal elements you're describing.
Example: "The delicate butterfly alighted on the rusted barrel of the abandoned tank."
Use Synesthesia đ
Synesthesia is a condition where one sensory experience triggers another. While not everyone experiences this, using synesthetic descriptions in your writing can create vivid and unique imagery.
Example: "The violin's melody tasted like honey on her tongue."
Experiment with Sentence Diagrams đ
Remember those sentence diagrams from school? Try diagramming some of your favorite sentences from literature. This can give you insight into how complex sentences are structured and help you craft your own.
Create a Sensory Tour đ¶ââïž
When describing a setting, try taking your reader on a sensory tour. Move from one sense to another, creating a full, immersive experience.
Example: "The old bookstore welcomed her with the musty scent of aging paper. Dust motes danced in the shafts of sunlight piercing the high windows. Her fingers trailed over the cracked leather spines as she moved deeper into the stacks, the floorboards creaking a greeting beneath her feet. In the distance, she could hear the soft ticking of an ancient clock and taste the faint bitterness of old coffee in the air."
Use Active Voice (Most of the Time) đââïž
While passive voice has its place, active voice generally creates more dynamic and engaging prose. Compare these two sentences:
Passive: "The ball was thrown by the boy." Active: "The boy threw the ball."
Magic of Ordinary Moments âš
Sometimes, the most beautiful prose comes from describing everyday occurrences in a new light. Challenge yourself to find beauty and meaning in the mundane.
Example: "The kettle's whistle pierced the quiet morning, a clarion call heralding the day's first cup of possibility."
Play with Time âł
Experiment with how you present the passage of time in your prose. You can stretch a moment out over several paragraphs or compress years into a single sentence.
Example: "In that heartbeat between his question and her answer, universes were born and died, civilizations rose and fell, and their entire future hung in the balance."
Use Anaphora for Emphasis đ
Anaphora is the repetition of a word or phrase at the beginning of successive clauses or sentences. It can create a powerful rhythm and emphasize key points.
Example: "She was the sunrise after the longest night. She was the first bloom of spring after a harsh winter. She was the cool breeze on a sweltering summer day. She was hope personified, walking among us."
Create Word Pictures đŒïž
Try to create images that linger in the reader's mind long after they've finished reading. These don't have to be elaborate â sometimes a simple, unexpected combination of words can be incredibly powerful.
Example: "Her laughter was a flock of birds taking flight."
Use Rhetorical Devices đ
Familiarize yourself with rhetorical devices like chiasmus, antithesis, and oxymoron. These can add depth and interest to your prose.
Example of chiasmus: "Ask not what your country can do for you â ask what you can do for your country." - John F. Kennedy
Even the most accomplished authors continue to hone their craft with each new piece they write. Don't be discouraged if your first attempts don't sound exactly like you imagined â keep practicing, keep experimenting, and most importantly, keep writing.
Your unique voice and perspective are what will ultimately make your prose beautiful. These techniques are simply tools to help you express that voice more effectively. Use them, adapt them, or discard them as you see fit. The most important thing is to write in a way that feels authentic to you and brings you joy.
Happy writing, everyone! đïžđđ - Rin T
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fucking your ex boyfriend in the bathroom of a party.
â multiple x f!reader â
cw: smut, mirror sex, public sex, rough sex, hate sex (sort of), tension, alcohol, oral f! receiving, v fingering, spanking, pet names, praise, sex with feelings, unprotected sex
you donât know how your bestfriend managed to rope you into coming to this party, all you did know is you wanted to get plastered while she found someone to hook up with.
you held onto her for dear life as you made your way through groups of people. mostly strangers, but you saw some familiar faces. you started to feel a bit nervous when you noticed some eyes roaming your outfit. maybe you shouldâve worn a longer skirtâŠ
your bestfriendâs eyes immediately spotted a pretty girl across the room, she gives you an apologetic smile. you roll your eyes.
âjust goâ you sigh. at least someone would be getting some action tonight. you make your way to the kitchen where there were bottles apon bottles layed out on the counter. you grab one of the disposable cups, pouring yourself a mixed drink before downing it. the liquor bringing a comforting burn down your throat.
suddenly, you felt a cold chill in the room. you look around, there were no windows or doors open. until finally, your eyes immediately draw to a pair of familiar ones. oh great, heâs walking over. you turn around, pretending you didnât notice him, hoping heâll walk past you.
âoh, câmon. acting like you didnât see me?â he leans against the counter next to you, a drink in his own hand. fuck, he still wore the same cologne. the smell almost made you dizzy. he was wearing an unfamiliar jacket, it looked new.
his name rolls off your tounge in a harsh greeting, taking another swig of your drink. he gives a lopsided smile. âstill mad at me, pretty?â he takes your empty cup, refilling it for you the way he knew you always liked it. you give him a glare. he puts his arms up in defense. his body looked bigger, more defined. he was clearly working out more since you two broke up.
you snatched your cup back. if you were going to be forced into this conversation, you might as well be drunk.
âwhy are you here?â you ask, your eyes never leaving his own. he was drawing you in without even trying.
âi was invited. why are you here?â he pokes your shoulder with his pointer finger.
you just point to your best friend across the room, who was now making out with the cute girl from earlier. he huffs out a small chuckle. âthat girl never rests, does she.â he comments. you just shake your head, âno she does not.â you sigh, another swig.
his eyes go back to you. more specifically, your outfit. you had a new top on, heâd never seen it before. heâd have remembered seeing such a pretty shirt on you before. and of course, you wore your favorite mini skirt. the one he always loved you wearing.
âthis is cute, wear this for me hmm?â he smirks, his fingers playing with the bottom hem of the skirt. you swat his hand. he was the one who bought it for you. almost fucking you in the dressing room when you tried it on after doing a little spin for him.
âno⊠i just had nothing else to wear.â your face flushes. you didnât know if it was from the alcohol or from the fact you were both thinking about the times youâd sit on his lap in this skirt, panties off while you bounced on his cock.
god, he loved that skirt.
you could feel yourself clench around nothing just thinking about it. he gets a little closer when he notices your flushed state, his fingers drumming against the table filled with alcohol. his damned fingers that knew every part of your body.
ok, you were definitely a little drunk, or maybe you were just stupid.
your back slams against the door of the bathroom, the blasting music muffled from the small enclosed room.
your lips met in a hungry, bruising kiss, tongues fighting for dominance. his large hands gripped your waist, your head forced against the wood. he moves one of his hands to shove between your thighs under your skirt, his fingers digging into your panties, making you whine into his mouth when he pinches your clit.
âfuck, this wet already? missed me that much, sweetheart?â he mumbles into your mouth, pulling away to pull the flimsy fabric down your legs with his free hand. of course you wore your favorite panties, the ones he bought especially for you. the sight made him groan.
âiâm not your-â
âi wasnât talking to you.â he stares directly at your slick pussy. great, now he was talking straight to your cunt.
you look at him with glossy eyes as he kneels down, kissing down your thighs. you hook your fingers into the waistband of your skirt, but he gives your thigh a slap. âkeep it on. i wanna see you get fucked in this pretty little skirt again.â he practically growls as he gives your thighs a few more kisses and bites, marking you up.
âwant everyone to see you still belong to me.â he sucks marks into your upper thighs, placing a few where your little skirt couldnât cover.
you mewl his name when his tounge delves into your sopping pussy, his fingers pulling your folds apart to get more access. your hands grip his hair for some stability as he laps you, his tounge switching from flicking your sensitive clit to prodding at your tight hole.
he replaces his mouth with his fingers, pumping two into your cunt as he suctions his lips onto your bud, making you bite your lip to prevent yourself from screaming out, almost drawing blood.
âfuckk!â his long fingers hit deep inside of you, his digits shifting between thrusts and curling inside. your legs shook, hands gripping his hair for dear life. giving him a particularly hard tug, he groans into your cunt, the vibrations making you let out a moan.
the mixture of stimulations had you on the edge, he knew you were about to cum.
time almost seems to slow as he feels you clench around his fingers, your eyes flutter shut, gripping his hair for dear life as pools of fire seep low in your abdomen. his fingers continue to pump into you as you cum, wetness dripping down his chin and wrist.
it was probably obvious you hadnât fucked anyone since you two broke up the way your pussy responded so well to him.
still, he doesnât pull away, addicted to the taste of you. he was completely lost in your cunt until you pushed at his head, whining his name. he reluctantly pulls away, giving your cute clit a few more kisses before parting.
you both pant, his face glistening in your slick. you almost moan at the sight.
âyou taste even better than i remember, baby.â his hands sooth down your thighs.
âdonât call me that.â you heavily breathe. he just chuckles, standing up. his firm hands grab your ass, giving it a firm smack, making you yelp.
âface the mirror. wanna watch you take my dick.â he pats your hip, encouraging you. you obligated, finally seeing yourself in the mirror. your lip gloss was completely smeared, making you pout a little. until your ex boyfriend comes up behind you, his hard on pressing against your ass. his hand wrapped around your waist, his head resting on your shoulder as your eyes meet in the reflection.
his other hand reaches to wipe the smeared lip gloss, cleaning it up for you. his fingers tap your lips impatiently, seeking enterence. your eyes never broke contact. you open your pretty little mouth, his two fingers sliding in. you groaned as you tasted yourself on them. he grinded himself against your rear, hiking your skirt above your hips.
âgonna let me fuck this messy pussy?â his fingers enter deeper into your mouth, almost making you choke. you nod, swirling your tounge around his digets.
âmhmphâ you mumble around them.
âgotta tell me how much you missed me first.â he teases, removing his fingers to slowly undo the button of his pants. you roll your eyes.
âjust fuck me-â
smack
your ass stings, you were sure there was gonna be a red mark the size of his hand. you whimper.
âwhat was that, pretty? use your words.â he purred into your ear, biting your earlobe gently, nibbling marks down your sensitive neck.
âfuck, i missed you so much, i need your cock so bad-â you whine his name. â-i touch myself thinking about it- but nothing is as good as you.â you shamelessly confess, a smirk growing on his smug fucking face.
âgood fucking girl.â he growls, taking his raging cock out from his briefs, his hand pressing down on your back so you bend over the sink to give him easier access.
you mewled as his leaking tip pokes through your enterence.
he slowly sheathes himself in, savoring the feeling of your hot walls contracting needfully around his cock. âgod, itâs been so fucking long. itâs like sheâs sucking me in.â
your fingers gripped the counter in front of you, your eyes focusing on his own. the way his face scrunched once he was burried balls deep inside of you. his deep breaths, the way his hair slightly stuck to his forehead from how much he was sweating.
youâre about to speak, but your words turn into moans of his name as he thrusts in and out of you, his hips slapping against your ass. your head rolls down to rest against your arms on the counter, but he doesnât allow that.
his hand that isnât wrapped around your waist goes to grip your throat, pulling you back against his chest.
âwatch yourself get fucked by your future husband.â he grunts, his thighs burning from all the rutting, but heâd feel that pain forever if it meant he could be able to fuck you like this again.
you watch as your tits bounce through your shirt in the mirror, drool threatening to spill from the corner of your mouth. the mirror was big enough that you could see his dick pumping into you. obscenely wet sounds coming from where you two meet.
âo-oh fuck, feels sâgood, donât stop!â you moan out, staring at him in the reflection. he was so focused on the way you felt around him, he had almost forgotten you two broke up.
âoh god, baby. i fuckin' love you, need your pussy every day, canât live without it.â he bites your shoulder, hard, making you groan. his hand moving from your throat to grope your tits through your top. his hips only slapped into you harder and harder, your vision going blurry when the head of his cock hits your soft spot. you let out chants of his name, your arms reaching back to grip his hair to bring him impossibly closer.
you stared at yourself in the mirror. the way he slid in and out of you with ease made you squeeze around him, prompting a groan from him. your hair was out of place from his rough treatment, marks down your neck and thighs. you couldnât even think about having to explain this to your friends later.
âsqueezing me so good. so perfect for me. gonna let me fill you up, hmm? walk around with my cum dripping out of you, let everyone know youâre fucking mine.â he thrusts with a bruising pace, your whole body rocking with the rolls of his hips.
âp-please yes! need it so bad!â your mind starts to blank, the only thing you could think about was the way he was pulsing inside of you, threatening to spill at any minute.
âtouch yourself, baby.â he pants, his thrusts getting sloppier. he was so close, but there was no way he was going to cum before you. you nod, bringing a shaky hand to your ruined pussy, rubbing and pinching your clit the way you liked it. your mouth fell open at the overwhelming pleasure taking over.
âmâgonna cumm!â you whine until the only thing you can say is his name, over and over. just how he always loved it. he whispers dirty praises into your ear, talking you off the ledge. you force your eyes to stay on his own in the mirror. you hated how fucking hot he was.
waves of intense heated pleasure start to roll over you, moaning as your vision gets blurry with tears of ecstasy. âsâgood!â you scream, tightening around him, making it hard for him to move. he curses as you grip his cock so tightly, milking him so hard he cums inside of you.
you pant as his thrusts get lazy and eventually slow to a halt. he didnât want to pull out, but he knew he couldnât just stay in here with you forever, no matter how much he wanted to.
he pulls out hesitantly, the mixture of your release dripping out of you making him let out a harsh breath.
you finally come down from your orgasm, completely fucked out. oh how much you missed his cock. and him too you guess.
he turns you around, giving your cheeks kisses before enveloping his mouth with your own. your tounges gently roll over eachothers, contrasting in comparison to how he was just fucking your brains out.
your phone lights up on the counter with a text from your bestfriend. you squint, reading the message.
âbitch iâm leaving. donât think i didnât see you guys btw -_-â
he wraps his arms around your middle, seeing the message.
âgonna come home with me?â he leaves even more love bites down your neck, making you sigh.
ââŠyeaâ
GETO, gojo, SUNA, atsumu, leon kennedy, toji, kuroo, dick grayson (sorry not sorry), your fav ;)
masterlist
#x reader#reader insert#smut#geto suguru#geto smut#geto x reader#suguru geto smut#jjk x reader#jjk smut#suna rintaro smut#suna x reader#suna smut#atsumu x reader#haikyu x reader#gojo x reader#gojo smut#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy smut#toji x reader#toji smut#dick grayson x reader#kuroo x reader#kuroo smut#haikyu smut#tengen x reader#tengen smut
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Midnight Rendezvous - Sylus x Female!Reader
Summary: An unmistakable tension has always existed between you and Sylus, and despite trying, youâve never been able to make much sense of it. Heâs haughty, arrogant, and too attractive for his own good. After he intervenes and saves you from a questionable situation during a girlâs night out, he whisks you away to his house despite your protests. You want to hate himâ you want to be mad at himâ but itâs increasingly difficult to fight against your desires, and before long⊠you stop trying.Â
Alternatively summarized as you and Sylus having steamy, passionate sex for the first time.Â
Word Count: 13.9k
Warnings: 18+, explicit sexual content, rough sex, size difference
Full fic can be found here on Ao3 (with more diverse tags)
The Midnight Bar was, for all intents and purposes, an eclectic melting pot for all of Linkonâs denizens. With its colorful strobe lights and intense, pounding music that poured from the open doorway, it beckoned to any and all passersby, tempting them to set foot past the threshold and lose themselves in the sea of bodies that congregated on the dance floor. More often than not, you dismissed your repetitive, fleeting inclinations to come here for a night of fun. It was easier to justify your homebody tendencies with countless excuses that all pertained to work. But not tonight.Â
No, tonight you wanted to let loose. You wanted to cast aside your worries and obligations for a few hours, to have a few fruity cocktails that you knew would have you on your ass tomorrow. You wanted to dance until your feet throbbed, until your back ached, until your ears rang and drowned out the never ending cacophony of concerns that plagued your mind.
Life was⊠complicated. You wanted to forget about it all for once. You wanted to be selfish.Â
Tara had mercifully agreed to accompany you to the club. Phrasing it as a âgirlâs night outâ had certainly helped matters, and her light-hearted aura would do wonders for your fluctuating emotions. It was easy to stay level headed when she was around, and you found yourself wondering if the data analyst was even aware of her influence.Â
From your rooted position on the dance floor, you could see Tara at the bar waiting dutifully for the drinks sheâd offered to buy, chatting with the burly bartender all the while. You knew you had no business drinking anymoreâ youâd had three of those strawberry whateverâs alreadyâ but the night called for it, and your clammy palms craved the chilled feeling of the thick, cocktail glass more than was probably healthy. The steady ebb and flow of the music had you moving in sync with the crowd around you flawlessly; your hips swayed, your arms languidly rose above your head, and your eyes fluttered shut as you rolled your head back to toss a few strands of hair out of your face.Â
Nothing else existed to you in that moment, and you were more than willing to ride the brainless high for a while longer. Wanderers, Grandma and Caleb, The Hunterâs Association, your heart condition⊠all of it was inconsequential. Every thought that entered your mind dissipated into nothing just as quickly as it appeared, and the last thing you planned to do was squander a second of the reprieve.Â
That is, until a warm, broad hand appeared on your waist.Â
Your eyes flew open at the same time you looked over your shoulder, and your field of view was instantly obscured by a familiar chest clad in a black and red button-up shirt. A smokey, almost spicy cologne flooded your senses, and you recognized the scent even before you craned your neck back to meet Sylusâ imposing gaze. He looked the same as always; annoyingly attractive. His pale hair was effortlessly combed off his forehead to showcase those ruby-red eyes that had once imbued you with a healthy dose of fear. Now though, the sight of them only stoked the flames of rebellion within you.Â
What the hell was he doing in Linkon City? Why was he here of all places?Â
âAll this time and I only ever had you pegged as an indoor cat,â his sultry voice reverberated against you as he bent down to speak directly against your ear, and much to your dismay, you shivered involuntarily. âYou never fail to surprise me, kitten.âÂ
On shaky legs, you managed to step out of Sylusâ reach, his fingers trailing across your hip until you were far enough away that his hand fell back to his side. His expression was the usual smug variant you typically saw plastered to his face, and he cocked his head to the side as he took in your disheveled appearance. For whatever reason, your confidence from earlier seemed to vanish completely, and you found yourself feeling incredibly self-conscious having him see you like this. There wasnât a doubt in your mind that you looked⊠messy. The thin sheen of sweat on your face had your hair clinging to your cheeks for dear life, and the thrum of liquor in your veins warmed you so thoroughly that you were confident you were flushed from head to toe.Â
Out of everyone that could have possibly crossed your path tonight, why did it have to be him? You would have preferred that Zayne walked in to chastise you for your poor life choices rather than the puffed up, Adonis-incarnate before you now. Stupid Sylus with his stupid, attractive smile and his stupid perfect body.Â
Having stared at him for long enough, you mercifully didnât slur your words when you bit out, âWhat are you doing here?âÂ
âI think Iâm the one who should be asking you that, Miss Hunter.â He easily closed the minuscule distance between the two of you with half a step, gingerly putting the back of his hand against your forehead to gauge your temperature. You swatted the appendage away and scowled, your irritation rising when he smirked in response to the motion. âWhat will people say when they hear that Linkonâs valiant defender is drunk in the club on a Thursday night? Have you finally tossed away your self-imposed restrictions to join the rest of society in debauchery?âÂ
âIâm not drunk,â you retorted, and the dry look Sylus shot you conveyed just how willing he was to believe you. âIâm not! Iâm just having a bit of fun. I donât work tomorrow, so Tara and I decided to have a girlâs night out. Which means you canât be here.âÂ
âCanât I? Or will you run to the nearest police officer and tell them that the leader of Onychinus showed face at the Midnight Bar? I didnât think you had it in you, sweetie.âÂ
To hear him even suggest such a thing made your stomach sink into the floor, and you stood up straight as you nervously glanced around the room to make sure no one had heard him so boldly announcing his title. âQuiet down! I swear itâs like you want to be caught. I wouldnât do that, I justâ why are you even here? Shouldnât you be at home?âÂ
At home clearly meant the N109 Zone, but Sylus picked up on your shrouded speech well enough. He fluidly shifted to allow a cluster of younger girls to dart past him through the crowd, but his eyes never wavered from yours. âWhy else would I deign to grace Linkon City with my presence? Iâm here on business. Itâs since concluded, but I wanted to grab a drink. I wasnât expecting to find you in the middle of the dance floor all by yourself.âÂ
Your tipsy brain was slow to process all of his information, the most prudent of which had to do with who he was discussing business with in this part of the city. You didnât even bother to ask, though. Sylus could avoid your questions like he was born to do it, and you were painfully aware of how much he loved to goad you. Better to let the matter rest⊠for now.Â
You crossed your arms over your chestâ suddenly acutely aware of the plunging neckline of your dressâ and did your best to sound firm. âWell, donât stop on my account. Go get your drink so I can go back to what I was doing.âÂ
Those eyes of his were predatory in every sense of the word. You may as well have been naked with how vulnerable you felt on the receiving end of his unrelenting stare. âAnd leave you all alone here? Perish the thought.âÂ
Right on cue, you spotted Taraâs familiar head of hair bobbing and weaving through the crowd, both of her arms raised to protect the integrity of the two cocktails she held from the ever shifting sea of bodies. You instantly relaxed at the sight of her, and if Sylusâs raised brow was anything to go by, he noticed your change in demeanor almost immediately. He glanced over his shoulder in time to spot Tara emerging from the throng of bodies, one of the drinks in her hands already outstretched towards you.Â
âThe wait was crazy, but the bartender was really nice!â She had to shout over the roar of the music, an easygoing smile already playing on her lips. You took the offered beverage from her while she continued, âHe gave me his employee discount for both of the drinks. I think he likedââ
You knew the exact moment Tara noticed the six foot two giant towering over you, her brown eyes becoming comically wide as she shifted her weight to look up at Sylus. Recognition flashed across her face, and for a brief moment you felt a genuine surge of panic. But then her expression smoothed out, and she gently patted Sylusâ shoulder in a friendly greeting.Â
âYouâre Skye, right? Itâs been forever! What are you doing here?âÂ
Skye? You were confused for all of two seconds until you remembered the one and only time Tara had ever met Sylus; at the hotel all those weeks ago during your team building exercise. You thought he had been pretending to be a fruit vendor, up until he let you know that he would order more of the watermelon served there that you loved so much, cluing you in on the fact that he had some kind of dealings with the establishment. The enigma of a man seemed to have his fingers in damn near every pie in Linkon and the N109 Zone.Â
Was nowhere safe from his influence? HonestlyâŠÂ
The conversation between your two acquaintances had continued in the midst of your reminiscing, and Sylus pinned you with a knowing look, which brought yet another scowl to your face. âIâm just passing through. I happened to see Miss Hunter over here looking incredibly lonely, so I decided Iâd come and say hello.â
Liar. âI already told you I was here for a girlâs night out. As you can see, the girls are back together and in the middle of something.â
Taraâs glassy eyes lit up as the worst idea imaginable came to mind. âI donât mind if you want to hang out with us, Skye. You can be one of the girls for the night if youâd like.âÂ
The giggle that slipped out of Tara spoke volumes of her inebriated state, and you opted to blame all the alcohol for giving her enough courage to invite a borderline stranger into your circle. If she knew the truth about the man standing mere inches away from her, you knew her tone would change in an instant. Thankfully though, Sylus interjected before you got the chance to, seemingly on the same page as you for once.Â
âThank you for the invite, but I canât linger tonight. You two have your fun, Iâll be at the bar for a bit before I need to head out. The fruit business never sleeps, Iâm afraid.â
The ease with which he lied out of his ass was something that needed to be studied by professionals, you were certain. Still, you were grateful that he was taking pity on you and excusing himself, though you had to admit you were⊠surprised by it. The Sylus you knew wouldnât turn his nose up at a chance to taunt you and keep you on your toes. Even though he had revealed sides of himself to you that you hadnât expected, at the end of the day, Sylus was an instigator at his core.Â
Red eyes glittering with mirth met yours for the briefest of moments before the Onychinus leader turned on his heel to head for the bar, and the crowd of people that surrounded the three of you seemed to part for him effortlessly. Countless heads turned to watch Sylus as he went, women and men alike staring after him with varying degrees of attraction and envy written across their faces. You could hardly blame them.Â
Men more than likely wanted to be him, and women no doubt wanted to be with him. He seemed to have that effect on everyone he crossed paths with.Â
âIs there something going on between you two?âÂ
Your head swiveled back towards Tara so fast, the movement practically gave you whiplash. âI have no idea what youâre talking about.âÂ
She playfully shoved your shoulder, which only succeeded in pushing herself away from you as she stumbled back a step. No more drinks for her, you thought to yourself. âOh come on,â she drawled. âThe tension between you and him is thick enough to cut with a knife. Plus the way he stares at you? I would melt if I was on the receiving end of those eyes.â
Thoroughly fed up with the conversation already, you simply shook your head and brought your drink to your lips, your eyes unconsciously seeking Sylus out. He was exactly where he said he would be; at the bar with a glass already pinched between his long, lithe fingers. How he had gotten a drink so fast, you didnât know, and you furrowed your brows in confusion at the same time his gaze zeroed in on you from across the room. He raised his beverage to you and tipped his head forward in a leisurely manner, but you only gave him a nonplussed blink in response before looking away.Â
âExhibit A,â Tara tactfully pointed out when you returned to paying attention to her. âWhat would be the harm? Heâs handsome, heâs got to be smart with all the business deals heâs involved in, heâs polite. He could be good for you if you gave him a chance.âÂ
âTara, you have no idea what youâre talking about. Heâsââ you cut yourself off, trying and failing to come up with a justification that didnât out him as the head of a massive crime organization. In the end you settled for, âHeâs a complicated guy. Can we just forget about it? Please?âÂ
âFine, fine,â she waved off your pleading and took a hearty sip of her drink, motioning for you to do the same. âIâll let it slide this once, but donât think for one second that Iâm dropping the subject forever. Anyways, do you think the DJ is taking requests?âÂ
Thankfully it didnât take you long to fall back into your previously upbeat mood. The steady supply of alcohol and the rancorous thrum of your heartbeat in your ears certainly helped matters, and when the song Tara had requested finally came on over the pounding speakers, you shed the remainder of your inhibitions and downed the rest of your drink to free up your hands and dance wildly. It took a herculean effort not to glance back to the bar to see if Sylus was still perched on the stool in the corner, but your willpower won out in the end as you swayed your hips to the tempo of the dark, seductive music.Â
Lost in the sea of bodies around you, your senses were overwhelmed with all the different sights, sounds, and smells that surrounded you. The tang of everyoneâs sweat mixed together wasnât altogether unpleasant, and the sickly sweet taste of the lingering cocktail on your lips had you wetting them as red strobe lights darted overhead. Heat from everyone packed in tight next to one another had sweat dripping down your brow, your chest, your backâ so you dexterously gathered your hair in one hand to lift off of your neck to offer some reprieve.Â
Tara was a blur in the corner of your eye, but you still knew she was somewhere in front of you. That was how you knew the hand on the nape of your neck wasnât hers, and the absence of Sylusâ trademark scent told you that it wasnât him, either.Â
Ambushed by an errant hand for the second time in one night, you were quick to spin around and shove the stranger away. It was a manâ an unfamiliar one at thatâ who looked all too put out to have been so harshly rejected within the first five seconds of trying. His hair was so black that underneath the clubâs technicolored lights, it looked blue. Pale green eyes were narrowed in confusion at you, though you noticed how he immediately attempted to school his expression once youâd turned around.Â
âHey,â he called over the thrumming base of the music. âWant to dance?â
Suddenly bashful at having been so harsh, you did your best to ease up your defensive stance and allowed for a polite smile to play on your lips while you shook your head. âThank you, but no thanks. Iâm here with my friend.âÂ
Apparently being nice wasnât going to work, because the stranger stepped close enough to sling his arms across your and Taraâs shoulders, and with the brief look the two of you shared, you could tell neither one of you was particularly thrilled about it. âThe more the merrier! Why donât you two come over to my booth in the corner? Iâm sure my friends would love to meet you.â
Calmly but firmly, you grabbed for the manâs hand to unsling it from around your neck, taking a small step away from him as you reached for Tara. âNo thank you, weâre goodââ
His hand shot out quickly, and you blamed the alcohol in your system for nullifying your reaction time, because the bastard succeeded in grabbing your forearm to pull you closer once again. His nails dug into your flesh hard enough that you winced, and when you tried pulling back, you felt the telltale sting of skin breaking. âOh come on,â he crooned, giving you an undiluted nose-full of the stale beer on his breath. âDonât be such a buzzkill. A couple of beautiful women such as yourselves deserve a night of fun, wouldnât you say?âÂ
Tara interjected this time, looking more uncomfortable than youâd ever seen her before. âWeâre really fine, please let goââ
A shadow crossed your vision for a moment; large, imposing, and radiating an aura that you could only describe as murderous. Smokey cologne filled your nostrils as Sylus wrenched the manâs hand away from your arm, then picked him up by the scruff of his shirt to glare menacingly into his eyes. Over the blaring music, you had no idea what the green-eyed stranger was saying, but you could make out the sound of him stammering as he clawed at the arm that held him inches off the ground.Â
For a minute, you really thought Sylus was going to end the manâs life. Even in the midst of hoisting an adult male off the floor by the fabric of his shirt, he didnât move a muscle. It didnât even look like he was struggling. He was eerily still, and when you moved to catch a glimpse of his side profile, there was no missing the white hot stare he had glued to his prey.Â
Tentatively, you placed your hand on his shoulder, squeezing softly to get his attention. âSylus, weâre fineâ just put him down, please.âÂ
Aside from a muscle in his jaw ticking minutely, he gave no indication that he had heard you. You tried again, âSylus please. People are staring, youâre causing a scene.âÂ
Truthfully you couldnât care less about the people in the club watching everything unfold, but you were worried about police being called in and discovering who exactly Sylus was. The thought of him being taken away unnerved you, and even though you knew he could more than likely escape beforehand, you feared for the people that would inevitably be caught in the crossfire.Â
Beneath your palm, you felt Sylusâ bicep flex before he roughly dropped the man from his ironclad grip. The stranger, wide-eyed with terror, stumbled when his feet hit the floor, but he didnât waste any time disappearing into the crowd and vanishing from sight. You sighed with relief, grateful that things hadnât ended badly, then looked back to the silver haired man. His red eyes were fixed on your arm where the stranger had scratched you; four stark, crescent shaped wounds were etched into your skin. Sylus gently took your hand in his to bring your forearm closer for him to inspect, lightly running his fingers over the wounds, and despite the severity of the situation, you felt your face flushing from the intimacy of the gesture.Â
âCome on,â Sylus practically growled, his grip on your hand tightening. âWeâre leaving.âÂ
âIâ wait, what?â You tried wrenching your arm free from the imposing manâs vice grip, but it was like pulling at Protocore infused shackles. âSylus, let me go! What about Tara? I canât leave her here alone.âÂ
âLuke and Kieran are already on their way. Theyâll take her home.â He didnât look at you as he half-pulled, half-dragged you through the crowd towards the front doors of the club. It took everything in you not to stumble in your heels and sprawl out on the sticky, tile floor, but something told you that even if you did, Sylus would just haul you up and toss you over his shoulder before you made contact with the ground. When the two of you made it outside, the cool air was like a sobering slap to the face, and you blinked rapidly as Sylus released your hand long enough to open the passenger side door of a sleek, black car parked in the front. He gestured stiffly to the seat, âGet in.âÂ
The flame of rebellion reserved especially for Sylus and his insufferable brand of arrogance roared to life in a split second. Any gratitude you might have felt towards him dissipated into the air like smoke. Your eyes sharpened into something lethal, and your hands curled into fists at your sides as you stood your ground on the sidewalkâ silently daring him to physically move you into the car, because you would sooner go head to head with a den of Wanderers before you let yourself be ordered around by him.Â
âNo.â Â
âWhat if I asked nicely?âÂ
âNo,â you doubled down firmly, your nails biting into the skin of your palms as you beat back the urge to smack him.Â
âKitten,â Sylusâ voice was a low rumble, but the nickname came out as anything but calm. It held a dangerous edge to it, like something akin to thunder sounding before lightning struck. âNow really isnât the time to show me your claws. Please, get in the car.âÂ
âScrew you, Sylus. I already said no. Iâll walkââÂ
The familiar, cold tendrils of his Evol snaked around your torso, lashing out too fast for you to track or dodge. There was an almost imperceivable tug against your midsection, and the next thing you knew, you were being haphazardly thrown into the car. Any whiplash the motion would have caused was prevented by the red mist that cradled your head. By the time you realized what had happened, Sylus was shutting the door on you and striding around to the driverâs side, ignoring the wary stares from the people outside waiting to be let into the club.Â
âAre you out of your mind?â You snapped as soon as he climbed in, and your blood boiled when he wouldnât even do you the service of looking at you while you raged. âYouâre completely out of line! You donât get to just decide to kidnap me when Iâm out with my friends. Do you have any idea how embarrassing this is?âÂ
âYouâll get over it,â he muttered, throwing the gear in drive before peeling away from the curb. He spun the car around so quickly that you found yourself leaning uncomfortably against the door, and as he evened out the steering wheel and took off down the street, the erratic motions had you bouncing between the window and the center console. âYou might want to buckle up, sweetie.âÂ
He shot you a sidelong look when you jerked on the seatbelt hard enough for it to lock in place, then snickered when you were forced to be gentler to draw the strap across your lap. âKeep laughing like that and youâll have to sleep with one eye open tonight,â you muttered, clicking the buckle into place.Â
Sylus chuckled softly under his breath, his knuckles blanching white against the steering wheel for a brief moment before he said, âIâm counting on it, kitten.âÂ
â
Insufferable. Demanding. Egotistical. Infuriatingly charming. Too suave for his own good. All of those terms could be used to describe Sylus, but even then it wasnât enough. No dictionary in the world had enough words to characterize the manâs personality, and you were positive that if you tried finding one, you would be on the hunt for the rest of your life.Â
After arriving at his house in the N109 Zone, youâd bitten his head off for not taking you home. When he had countered with the claim that heâd never specified where he was taking you to begin with, you had thrown your hands in the air and stomped away into the living room, at your wits end for the nth time tonight. He had given you a modicum of space to let you cool off shortly thereafter, until he had reappeared to let you know that Luke and Kieran had dropped Tara off at her house safe and sound.Â
That had⊠helped your mood a little. While Sylus was an exasperating person as a whole, you knew that you could trust him to have your friend delivered home unharmed. Luke and Kieran were reliable tooâ at least, they were when they werenât conspiring to get you and their boss into compromising situations.
You had never really forgiven them for setting you up that night you were searching for Sylusâ brooch. If Sylus was the ringmaster of Onychinus, Luke and Kieran were the acrobats bending over backwards to please him.Â
âThereâs a change of clothes by the bathroom,â Sylusâ gravelly voice sounded from somewhere behind you, but you didnât bother looking away from the massive bay windows to acknowledge him. âYou can go shower if you want. If youâre still adamant about going home afterwards, then Iâll take you.âÂ
You barked out a humorless laugh, and you saw Sylus narrow his eyes at you in the reflection of the window. âWhy so hospitable all of a sudden? You didnât care about what I wanted when you were hauling me out of the club like a petulant child.âÂ
âIâm sorry, are we forgetting the part where I got rid of the human scum that was yanking you around like a dog on a leash?âÂ
You dumbly shook your head, baffled and bewildered that he had justifications ready to dish out after behaving so boorishly. âWhile I appreciate that you intervened, I had it under control.â
One second he was across the room glaring at the back of your head. The next, he was inches away from you, peering down at you like an ominous shadow with predatory intent plastered all over his face. Sylus swiftly captured your hand in his to reveal the tiny row of scratches on your forearm, his gentle ministrations so at odds with his stormy demeanor. He cocked a brow at you and condescendingly said, âYou and I have very different definitions of what âunder controlâ means, kitten.âÂ
âWhatever,â you muttered, easily withdrawing your arm back to your side. âItâs not like he could have done anything serious. We had people all around us, and security would have come over eventuallyââ
âFor future reference, donât rely on drunk patrons to protect you. I expected better from a Linkon Hunter. You have no idea what that man wanted with you and your friend.âÂ
âOh, and you do?â
âYes.â
That one word from Sylus made you pause, your mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water, and your face crinkled in confusion as you processed the meaning behind his declaration. âYou⊠Did you use your Evol?â
Not the least bit ashamed at having been caught, Sylus turned away from you to look out the floor to ceiling window. âHe may as well have been screaming his desires with how loud his thoughts were. What he wanted was vile,â he stated roughly, âand he would have gotten it whether you were a willing participant or not.âÂ
The silence that filled the living room was deafening, and you nervously looked down to the floor as you shifted your weight between your feet. To hear the real reason why Sylus had felt the need to intervene⊠it explained the cold-blooded expression youâd seen on his face. Moreover, you were glad that he hadnât left like he had said he would.Â
Should you apologize? It felt wrong to just ignore the fact that Sylus could very well have saved your life tonight, and Taraâs by extension. He was as stubborn and headstrong as they came, but he wasnât a monster. He had protected you countless times before now, and despite your brainâs unwillingness to fully agree, you had a sneaking suspicion that the crime lord had a soft spot for you. Youâd come to terms with that fact a long time ago. At the very least, you felt like you owed him a sincere apology for being such a brat in the face of his kindness.Â
If it could even be called that.Â
Your mouth opened so those two little words could slip free and ease the weight that had settled on your shoulders, but Sylusâ finger stopped you. The slender digit pressed against your lips and prevented you from saying anything, and you looked up at him through your lashes as you blinked slowly in confusion.Â
âGo clean up. We can talk more after, if youâd like.âÂ
The softness of his voice coupled with the tenderness of his gaze compelled you to listen. No retorts, no witty one-liners, no arguments formed on your tongue. For the first time since knowing him, you werenât in the mood to butt heads or deny him.Â
So you listened.Â
â
He was waiting for you when you finished in the bathroom.Â
Maybe it was more appropriate to say that heâd simply retired to his room after waiting for nearly an hour. After all, you were technically using his shower. The gray cotton pajamas that had been left for you on the bathroom counter were soft, thin, and fit like a glove. You had taken a good minute to relish in the comfortable feeling of them before slipping out of the steam filled chamber.Â
Sylus was thumbing over the collection of records on the shelf when you emerged, his broad back to you as he thoughtfully debated on which one to play. He made no move to acknowledge your presence, but you already knew he had heard you walk out of the bathroom. He was too perceptive to overlook anyone sneaking up on him.Â
Padding over to the bed, you sat down on the edge of the mattress and mulled over the countless different things you could say to him. âIâm sorryâ was seemingly the most prudent. There was also the âthank youâ route, which wasnât a bad option considering he had made sure Tara made it home safely in addition to coming to your aide. Part of you even wanted to ask why he cared to go so far out of his way for you when you were merely⊠well, you. Sure, your paths had intertwined some time ago, and he had helped you out in choppy situations a few times before. But at the end of the day, the two of you couldnât be more different, and it wasnât like youâd made it easy for him to get to know you.Â
Why did he care to help you?Â
You could already hear his possible responses playing in your mind. He would probably say something like âI protect my investments,â or âYou have a habit of looking so pitiful, I canât help myselfâ. Something that would affirm that you were important to him while still keeping you at armâs length. This cat and mouse game you had going with him was maddening, and you were starting to lose your grip on what was real and what was a facade.Â
âIf you think any harder, youâre going to hurt yourself, kitten.âÂ
Sylusâ voice drew you back into the present moment, and you glanced towards him in time to watch him slide a vinyl case off the shelf before carefully thumbing the packaging open. His captivating red eyes landed on you as he deposited the disk onto the record player, effortlessly dropping the needle down without so much as blinking. An almost bewitching melody filled the room, and then Sylus was setting down the case to walk towards you, his stride slow and purposeful. Stopping a few inches away from you, he delicately picked up a strand of your damp hair to coil around his finger as he raked his eyes over your body.Â
The pajamas heâd chosen were definitely meant for hot nights, that was for sure. The soft, gossamer shorts left nearly all of your legs on display. Nevermind the racy neckline of the matching, lace-lined tank top. All in all, you were wearing more skin than you were clothes.Â
âI was thinking,â you started to say, tilting your chin up to meet his unyielding stare. âI owe you an apology.âÂ
One perfectly groomed brow quirked up in response. âOh?â
âI know I can be stubborn sometimesââÂ
âThe understatement of the century,â he mused thoughtfully.Â
âShush, I need to say this.â You sighed before pressing on undaunted, your tone hardening, âThat being said, Iâd be ungrateful if I didnât acknowledge that I was out of my element tonight. I honestly donât know if things would have gone the way you said they would, but even so I can see now that I wasnât in a state of mind to properly protect myself or Tara. Your methods were⊠unorthodox, but you being there was appreciated, and Iâm sorry that I snapped at you.âÂ
Sylus was quiet for a few seconds, taking in your words with an almost serene expression on his face. His thumb traced over the strand of your hair around his finger, then let it slip away to caress the side of your cheek with his knuckles. Your breathing hitchedâ startled by the gestureâ but you made no move to pull away or stop him. It was rare for you to be able to perceive him so⊠openly.Â
His voice was low, barely a whisper as he murmured, âYou never have to thank me for the things I do. Especially not for tonight.âÂ
The way he grazed your cheekbone with his fingertips before tracing the outline of your jaw had your mouth firmly sealed. If you tried to speak, you already knew your voice would come out pitifully small. It had nothing to do with feeling small, however. The utter longing in Sylusâ gaze coupled with the almost reverent way he touched your face made you feel⊠important. He was looking at you like you were the only thing he cared about within the four walls, which was saying something when you stopped to consider all the valuables and collectables he kept hidden away in his bedroom.Â
But you didnât stop to think. Not really. Your brain was mercifully silent as you studied his eyes, his posture, his lips. Something had shifted between the two of you, and you didnât know if you were eager or scared to discover what that meant. Sylusâ thumb slid over your lips, his touch featherlight as well as chill-inducing. The hunger in his eyes was unmistakable as the corner of his mouth twitched up into a half smirk.Â
âLet tonight be a lesson to you, kitten; never let your guard down around anyone,â his gaze flickered from your face to your chest, then lazily swept down the rest of your seated form. âEspecially not when youâre out for a night on the town looking like the human embodiment of temptation.âÂ
âTemptation?â You echoed dumbly, and Sylus shook his head to himself as he laughed softly.Â
âDonât tell me you were completely oblivious to how you looked in the middle of the club earlier. Iâll admit, the amount of eyes you had on you made me⊠twitchy. I should burn that dress to cinders, but then Iâd never get to see you in it again.âÂ
You blinked in surprise, a tingling warmth spreading from your chest all the way down your torso before settling between your legs. âIâ you liked it?âÂ
It should have made you laugh the way Sylus had to bend down so much to put his eyes at the same level as yours, but humor had flown right out the fucking window the second he started caressing your face. His blatant desire burned you, his touch leaving a trail of fire in its wake. Red eyes bored into yours, and his face was close enough that you could see the darker shade of red that rimmed his irises. Being so up close and personal with his lips also made thinking difficult, but the one thought you managed to cling onto was how soft they looked, and how much you wanted to feel them against yours.Â
This man was quickly becoming your undoing, and you truly didnât think you had it in you to fight against your baser urges.Â
âI liked the dress,â Sylus said huskily, his fingers leaving your face to ghost down the side of your neck. âI liked your heels, and I definitely liked your dancing.â His fingers moved to curl around the back of your neck, pulling you ever so slightly closer to him so that his breath fanned across your cheeks as his eyes eagerly fell to your lips. âWould you be offended if I said I like you?âÂ
The shallow breath you drew into your lungs was like music to Sylusâ ears, and you felt his hand stiffen against the nape of your neck as he awaited your response. Formulating words was a bit of a challenge, however, seeing as all you could focus on was the unrepentant fantasies that were currently bombarding your brain. You wanted him bad, and the wet heat ravaging your lower body was a testament to that fact.Â
âIâm going to need an answer, sweetie,â Sylus purred, all too pleased with the way you seemed to unconsciously move your face closer to his. âOr am I meant to read your mind to find out for myself?â
âIâm not offended,â your response was airyâ barely a whisperâ but Sylus heard you loud and clear, and he grinned wickedly as his grip on your neck tightened. âI think I like you too.âÂ
âItâs about time.âÂ
Those three little words came out roughly, but you hardly got the chance to dwell on the gravelly timbre to Sylusâ voice. His lips were on yours in the next second, stealing your breath and igniting a fire in your veins that threatened to burn you from the inside out. Every one of your senses was overcome with Sylus; his smokey scent, the throaty moan he let slip, the feeling of his fingers burying themselves in your still damp hair. You heard him kick off his shoes without breaking away, and then you felt the mattress dip under his weight as he supported himself over you with one of his knees. Looming above you, you were entirely at his mercy as he used the newfound angle to his advantage, sweeping his tongue along the roof of your mouth as he devoured the minuscule sounds that emanated from you. You cautiously wrapped your significantly smaller hand around his thick wrist, drawing him close enough into your space that you had to lean back on the bed to accommodate his larger frame.Â
âThe things you do to me,â Sylus rumbled, leaning his head to the side to trail hot, open mouthed kisses down your neck, flicking his tongue against your pulse with a low hum. âSo unbelievably perfect. You have no idea what I want to do to you.âÂ
Emboldened by his praise, you let your hands rest on his narrow waist so your nails could dig into the silky fabric of his dress shirt. âShow me, then,â you replied, turning your head so you could stare up at him as your teeth began to bite at your swollen bottom lip.Â
In a flash, Sylus had moved off of you to wedge his arms under your armpits, effortlessly hoisting you off the edge of the bed so he could better toss you towards the mountain of pillows near the headboard. A surprised yelp sounded from you as your ass made contact with the smooth, satin sheets, and you watched blearily as Sylus deftly began undoing the top buttons of his shirt with one hand as his eyes raked over you. âYou donât have any idea what kind of effect you have on me, do you? You drive me crazy and youâre none the wiser to it. Ignorance really is bliss, huh?â
âIââ you didnât know what to say or where to look, especially once the muscled expanse of his chest started to show itself. âIâm sorry?âÂ
Chuckling darkly, Sylus finished off the remaining clasps on his shirt and shrugged the attire off, tossing it somewhere near the record player before making his way to the side of the bed. âActions speak louder than words, kitten. Why donât you show me just how sorry you are?â His hands gestured towards his belt in an unspoken question, and while it took you a second to figure out what it was that he wanted, you were quick to shuffle towards him to get started once your brain caught up. âSo eager to please⊠Iâm impressed.âÂ
You ignored his teasing to the best of your ability. Cold feet wouldnât serve you well nowâ not when every fiber of your being was heated with blatant arousal. The urge to please him, to pleasure him, to drive him to further madness, was overwhelming. Nimble as a cat, you undid his belt and let the metal buckle fall away with a resounding clink. The catch of his pants went next, and you made sure to glance up at him through your lashes as you slowly dragged the zipper down, reveling in the lust-filled gaze he fixed you with.Â
Sylus let you do the majority of the work, only deigning to lend you a hand when you struggled to pull his pants down over the swell of his rear. A throaty laugh sounded from above you when your eyes nearly bugged out of your head at the sight of his briefs. The unmistakable outline of his girth was apparent through the dark fabric, and fuckâ was he big.Â
How the hell was that supposed to fit anywhere inside you?Â
âDonât tell me youâre nervous,â Sylus taunted, his index finger and thumb coming to grip your chin and tilt your head up at him. âJust take it slow. Iâll talk you through it.âÂ
All his promise did was give you butterflies. You swallowed thickly, nodding as he released you so you could turn back to the task at hand. Almost hesitantly you slipped your fingers under the waistband of his dark undergarments, taking care to let your hands graze the delectable âVâ of his lower stomach before you pulled them down and revealed inch after inch of his insane member. You couldnât help it that your mouth fell open at the sight.Â
Sylusâ cock wasnât just big, it was thick. The sheer weight of it fought against its erect nature and had it drooping menacingly before your parted lips. The shiny, red tip was already oozing pre-cum, causing it to glimmer as it reflected the dim overhead lighting. A sparse collection of darker, neatly trimmed hair surrounded his shaft, and you unconsciously found your nails scraping gently through it before you took him in your hands. Even with both of the appendages working together to grip him, there was still ample space left untouched and exposed, and you licked your lips before glancing up at the silver haired man with expectant eyes.Â
Sylus still looked surprisingly put together despite the circumstances, but the way his chest rose and fell quicker than normal spoke volumes of his excitement. His red eyes glittered with anticipation, and one of his large hands carded through your hair before gripping the strands firmly enough to maneuver your cheek directly against his throbbing manhood. He sighed as soon as your skin made contact with it, gently moving you around by your tresses until his tip bumped against your lips.Â
âOpen,â came his sultry command.Â
With nowhere else to go you heeded his instruction and stuck your tongue out, ready and willing for whatever he had planned for you. He let you guide his cock into the warm, inviting prison that was your mouth, and without any further pointers from him, you took him as far as you could before you felt the head bumping the back of your throat. The urge to gag came and went quickly as you hollowed your cheeks around your mouthful, and the ragged sound Sylus let slip conveyed his approval well enough.Â
It was a tad difficult to crane your neck back to sneak a glance at him, but from what you could see, he was breathing heavily and looking down at you with wonder. âYouâre quite the little minx, arenât you?âÂ
You hummed your confirmation, the vibrations from the action making the hand in your hair squeeze tighter around the strands, and the soft curse that emanated from him was like music to your ears.Â
âFuckâ slowly now, keep your tongue out and mind your teeth. Tap my leg if you need to stop, alright kitten?âÂ
Stopping was the absolute last thing you wanted to do, but you dipped your head just enough to let him know you were in agreement. Sylus cupped the underside of your jaw with his free hand while the other stayed firmly rooted in your hairâ fully in control of your head from that moment forwardâ and you allowed for your hands to slip away from the base of his cock so you could brace your palms on his toned thighs. His first few thrusts were meant to test your resolve, seeing as they were shallow and relatively wary. Your jaw stayed slack throughout all of it though, and you even took it upon yourself to tense and untense your tongue as he plunged in and out.Â
âDamn,â Sylus groaned as his eyes fell shut, the euphoric sensations prompting him to increase his pace ever so slightly. Your nails scraped against the skin of his thighs as you curled your hands into loose fists, the sordid, wet sounds of your mouth making your face flush with barely there embarrassment. âThatâs it, darling. Youâre doing great.âÂ
With his fingers wrapped under your jaw, the placement of his digits allowed you to become acutely aware of the bulge in your throat. Sylusâ cock edged deeper and deeper into your mouth with every pump of his hips, and when a strangled, choking sound finally broke free from your stuffed mouth, Sylus laughed darkly before opening his eyes to turn his attention back to you.Â
âI wish you could see yourself right now.â Sylus emphasized the statement with a harsher buck of his hips, the head of his cock sliding past the back of your throat and reaching far enough that you felt it near the top of your esophagus. Your eyes pinched shut as tears welled up within them, then flew open as the man above you withdrew his shaft nearly all the way to give you the chance to breathe. Greedy gulps of air were sucked down immediately, followed by a harsh cough that forced the pooling tears in your eyes to cascade down your cheeks. âYou make one hell of a pretty picture, sweetie. Iâll have to keep a camera on hand next time.âÂ
âC-Can I try?â You rasped out the question as you worked to catch your breath, and the amusement that lit up Sylusâ features was enough to harden your determination.Â
He released the underside of your jaw and affectionately brushed a few strands of hair out of your face before dropping his hands entirely. âBy all means. Show me what tricks youâve got up your sleeve, Miss Hunter.âÂ
You werenât inexperienced by any means, but the impressive size of Sylus had you reevaluating everything youâd ever learned. A blow job was a blow job, however, and you were certain that your enthusiasm would help cover any blind spots that would no doubt appear.Â
Sylus watched with anticipation as you took him back in your hands and smiled up at him, resting the heavy head of his cock between your lips before you pursed them to press a warm, messy kiss to the sensitive tip. The tiny, evil glint in your tear-stained eyes clued him in on just how badly you yearned to make him crumble, and for probably the first time in his life, Sylus couldnât wait to see someone try to knock him down a peg or two.Â
With your eyes still glued to him, you slipped your tongue out and ran it slowly over the slit before curling the muscle around the swollen head with a soft sigh, gently stroking him once, then twice. You twisted your wrist slightly as you opened your mouth again to suck wetly at the pre-cum beading before your eyes, laving your tongue over the head hard enough for Sylusâ eyes to narrow for the briefest of moments. His hands clenched at his side, the insatiable urge to fuck into your mouth again taking over him, but he refrained from interrupting your show through sheer force of will alone.Â
You smiled coyly up at him, entirely aware of the larger manâs internal struggle, and slowly slid his cock back into your mouth so your lips sealed right over the head as you sucked. It was wet and messy and noisy, and Sylus couldnât help the way he twitched forward for more as a string of broken curses fell from his lips.Â
Your eyes fluttered shut as you tilted your head to the side to mouth down Sylusâ length, sucking gently and soothing your tongue over the warm flesh as you went, and if the feeling and the sight of you wasnât enough to leave Sylus a panting, eager mess, the slick sounds of your mouth would fucking do it for him. He kept his hands off but groaned loudly, trying his best to indicate that you should absolutely keep doing exactly that.Â
His head fell back between his tense shoulders as he let out a low, rumbling moan, shivering when you curled your tongue around the underside of his cock and breathed a soft chuckle against him. You worked to stroke the parts of him that your lips werenât worshiping, and the smooth, even touches were made even smoother by the copious amounts of saliva and pre-cum that already soaked his shaft. Sylusâ leg twitched minutely, his knee banging against the side of the bed frame, but all he could feel was your soft lips at the base of his cock followed by an agile twist around the slick head, smearing all the combined moisture around blindingly. He didnât think it could get any better than that, but once you dipped your head low enough to take the skin of his balls into your mouth and suck delicately, Sylus was fighting to keep his head out of the clouds, because the sensation was absolutely otherworldly.Â
âFuck,â came Sylusâ garbled, gritted voice, his stomach tensing as his hands finally returned to your mussed hair. âAlright, youâve proven your point, kitten.â
Hardly, you thought. You ignored the high strung edge to his voice and continued your ministrations, wrapping your lips around the head and taking him as deep as you could before you swallowed, and when Sylus choked on a rough gasp in response, you withdrew slowly, using the tip of your tongue to press along the underside of his cock. Sylus desperately wanted to stop you, because the last thing he had anticipated was cutting all the fun short by finishing in your mouth of all placesâ but then your tongue swirled around the tip again while you stroked every wet, exposed inchâ and his fingers tightened around your strands of hair as he fought the urge to shove his cock back into the welcoming embrace of your mouth.Â
He didnât think it was possible for such a tiny thing to have such a dexterous tongue. There was simply no way anything born of this Earth could possibly be this versatile.Â
âEnough,â Sylus growled abruptly, willing his brain to supersede his baser urges as he promptly pulled you off of him by your hair. The sting from the motion made you gasp, but the pleasure that came with being so easily manhandled quickly overshadowed the pain, and your hooded eyes drank in the sight of Sylus as you breathed in deeply.Â
Red eyes hazy and unfocused, chest rising and falling rapidly, and a pretty flush youâd never seen before sneaking up his neck and spreading across his cheeks and ears. Oh yeah, you thought, he was definitely getting close.Â
âDonât look so smug,â Sylus rumbled, the slight strain in his voice barely noticeable. But you were a Linkon City Hunter, and being perceptive was technically a job requirement, so you absolutely took note of it. You couldnât help but grinâ awfully proud of yourself for riling him up this wayâ and let go of his cock to brace yourself on your arms as you leaned back.Â
âSorry, I just really liked the face you were making.âÂ
His eyes narrowed in an unspoken challenge, and before you could so much as blink, his larger body was covering the bulk of yours as he hoisted you back up the mattress so you were leaning against the throne of pillows once again. Red tendrils of his Evol aided him in the removal of your shirt, the lacy attire vanishing from view as he crawled backwards just enough so he could slip his fingers under the waistband of your pajama shorts before he said, âI hope it was worth it, because now itâs my turn to see what kinds of faces youâll make, sweetie.âÂ
The effect his words had on you could have honestly been deemed concerning, and the pure bolt of arousal that shot through you when he started to drag your pants off without breaking eye contact was like nothing you had ever felt before. As soon as he had tossed your bottoms to the floor to join his own pile of clothing, he wasted little time in settling between your outstretched legs, wrapping one of his thick forearms over your waist to hold you in place as a devious expression spread across his face.Â
âTry to hold still for me,â he breathed out softly. You opened your mouth to reply, but your words got cut off the second one of his fingers slid along your slit and pressed against your clit, wringing a strangled gasp from you as you inadvertently bucked your hips up into his touch. He tutted disapprovingly, âThatâs the exact opposite of holding still.âÂ
âIââ another gasp filled the room as Sylus took to drawing languid circles around the bundle of nerves between your legs, the accumulated moisture there making the action effortless and positively heavenly. It took an insane amount of restraint to keep your hips still despite the blissful torment, your breathing becoming increasingly erratic as Sylus played with you, testing your reactions and pushing your limits as though your body was a new toy he was trying out. Your nails dug into your palms in an attempt to ground yourself, your bottom lip throbbing as you savaged it with your teeth.Â
As soon as Sylusâ mouth appeared against your entrance, there was no stopping the unconscious jerk of your hips against his face. His muffled laughter against you didnât help matters, and you wheezed shakily as you grabbed for a fistful of the sheets with one hand while slapping the other over your mouth. Keening, desperate little moans slipped through your fingers, Sylusâ tongue reducing you to a brainless pile of limbs faster than you could process. The tense muscle probed and swept inside of you while his thumb rubbed maddeningly over your clit, the dual stimulation borderline torturous, and your stifled groan drew Sylusâ attention as he increased the tempo of his tongue.Â
The arm draped across your waist extended in the next second, and you felt as the silver haired man grabbed for the hand covering your mouth. You let him pull your arm down to your side, his palm tracing down your heated skin until it reached your own, and then he was intertwining your fingers together to hold the limb there. His lips left your core for the briefest of moments, just long enough for him to murmur breathlessly, âDonât hide those pretty sounds from me, kitten. I want to hear all of it.âÂ
It should have been anatomically impossible, but you somehow managed to flush even deeper than before. Sylus kept his eyes on you as he returned to licking and sucking at your soaked center, his pupils blown wide and completely dilated as he worked to tear the most sinful, desperate noises from your scratchy throat. He truly looked like some kind of irresistible sex demonâ risen from the depths of Hell to torment you and reduce you to a brainless, twitching mess of a humanâ and God was he succeeding. You were torn between wanting it all to end with your release and simultaneously wanting it to continue forever.Â
The idea of staying here for the rest of eternity was not an unpleasant one. Not in the slightest.Â
Sylusâ thumb vanished from your swollen nub, replaced almost immediately by his mouth as he sucked the tender bit of flesh between his lips, and the cry that ripped from your chest was unlike any sound you had ever heard yourself make. Your spine arched clean off the mattress, your hips pressing against Sylusâ face so forcefully that you were certain you had to be suffocating him, but as you tried to writhe away from the overwhelming ecstasy, Sylus clenched your hand tight in his and held you firmly where you were.Â
âFuckâ Sylus, please, please,â you babbled mindlessly, the tight, hot feeling in your lower stomach roaring to life as he teased his tongue over the small bit of flesh held firm between his soft lips. âIâIâm gonna come, fuck, Iâm gonna comeââÂ
The euphoric rush within your body was more powerful than any Aether Core. It was dazzling. Your muscles tensed, your mouth fell open, your eyes squeezed shut, and your hips bucked harshly against Sylusâ unrelenting mouth as an orgasm unlike any you had ever experienced washed over you. The sound of your hoarse voice dimly registered in your ears as you came, and you faintly realized that you were screamingâ but there was nothing in the world that could interrupt the extraterrestrial experience you were currently living throughâ so your voice reverberated off the walls of the room until you were wholly and truly out of breath.Â
When you finally sagged back into the mattress, Sylus had eased up the intensity of his ministrations, much to his credit. His tongue made one final plunge into your wet walls to lap up the evidence of your pleasure before he pulled away entirely, and all you could do was tremble beneath him as he pushed himself up onto his knees.Â
He made no move to release your hand as he crawled over you, instead lifting and pinning the joined appendages beside your head before he dipped down to passionately kiss you. Sylus growled savagely as he swallowed up your pitiful mewling, every tiny sound you made fueling something deep inside of him. Trapped under him with nowhere to go, you were entirely at his mercy as his free hand came to slip under your neck in an attempt to deepen the kiss impossibly further. Sylus forced more of his tongue into your mouth and imbued you with the taste of yourself, humming thoughtfully when he felt your nails dig into the back of his hand, at which point he pulled back to stare down at you.
âI should count myself lucky that I have no neighbors this deep in the N109 Zone. I wouldnât be surprised if you scared Mephisto off with that scream.âÂ
âScrew,â you panted harshly in-between the words, âthat bird.âÂ
His hand clenched around the nape of your neck as a wicked smile stretched across his face. âYouâre actually screwing me, in case youâve forgotten. Or is your head still somewhere above the clouds?âÂ
Leave it to Sylus and his smartassery bring you back down to Earth. âOne of these days someone is going to cut out your mocking tongue,â you grumbled under your breath, though there was no genuine animosity in the statement.Â
Sylus only laughed, his red eyes twinkling with amusement and pure male satisfaction. âIf that someone is you, I think I can rest easy. You seem to like my tongue far too much for that to be a viable threat.âÂ
ââŠTouchĂ©.âÂ
His lips resumed their relaxed exploration of yours, bestowing a few quick pecks to the corners of your mouth before he peppered a trail of kisses along your jaw, bumping your head to the side with his own as he went. His warm breath fanned across your sweat-slick skin as he sanguinely said, âI think youâll like the other parts of me, too.âÂ
On cue, you felt the hard length of him settle against your thigh as he continued to press his lips against your thundering pulse, your hand coming to grip his firm bicep as arousal buzzed through you. Not a shred of doubt existed within you as you hummed your approval, angling your head to the side to give Sylus more room to lick a broad stripe down the column of your neck. You wanted more, and you were well past the point of pretending you werenât keenly interested in experiencing everything the leader of Onychinus had to offer.Â
In an act of complete and utter depravity, Sylus began rocking his hips against your thigh to rub his cock against your heated skin as he unabashedly groaned into the crook of your neck. You felt his sharp teeth clamp down on the skin above your clavicle before he sucked lightly, laving his tongue over the little bit of flesh he managed to latch on to. The barely there sting was more pleasant than anything, and you sighed contentedly when you felt him move higher to repeat the motion on another patch of unmarred skin.Â
A small, needy sound came from deep within your chest when Sylus abandoned his hold on the back of your neck to feel his way down your prone body, your eyes falling shut as you relished in his gentle fondling. You felt his fingers graze over your collarbone, then over the hardened peaks of your breasts, before settling between your legs once again. His touch against your clit was slow and testing, prompting you to lean your head back with a quiet gasp as you rocked your hips into Sylusâ hand. The movement played into Sylusâ steady rocking nicelyâ your pelvis elevating and sliding against his cock easilyâ and the low-pitched groan of approval he met you with had you smiling softly to yourself.
When Sylus pushed his finger into you again, you bit your lip at the same time he pulled his mouth off of your neck. You opened your bleary eyes to peer up at him, only to find that he was watching you with a tender sort of reverence. You flushed brightly under his flustering gaze, suddenly incredibly bashful at having him watch you so closely even though his mouth had just been ravaging your most intimate areaâ but despite that fact, you found yourself angling your face to the side in an attempt to hide your reactions.Â
âOh no,â Sylus uttered, a lone tendril of his Evol snaking out to turn your face back to him. âNo hiding, kitten. I donât intend on missing a single one of the pretty expressions you make.â
As though to punctuate the statement, Sylus curled his finger inside of you upâ just enough that he found the spot heâd been searching forâ and his efforts pulled a strangled moan from you at the same time your hips jolted against his palm. âSylus, Iâ hngââÂ
Your pleading was cut short by Sylus adding a second finger before he repeated the motion, taking care to slowly rub the pads of his fingers across that same spot over and over again, evidently drawing immense satisfaction in watching you wriggle and twitch under him. That damnable smirk of his showed itself once more as he pressed into the spot more insistently, his eyes devouring every inch of you as your stomach tensed and your toes curled, a telling warmth bleeding through your chest and coiling its way down between your legs.Â
It seemed impossible for any one person to be so good at this. Then again, this was Sylus, and you were fairly positive finding peopleâs weak points was something of a speciality of his.Â
The fact that your weak point was buried knuckle deep inside of you was irrelevant.Â
As Sylus continued to rub little circles over your sweet spot, he lowered his head once more to work yet another dark bruise into your skin, silently filing away the mental image of your body tensing and arching beneath him for later. The sight of you alone was enough to leave him breathless, but as nice as the imagery was, what really got to him were the sweet, gorgeous sounds of your voice. Your lips parted around quivering moans, tiny gasps slipping through every now and then, and your stammering pleas filled the quiet air around him and imbued him with a newfound sense of urgency.Â
Sylus had always loved the sound of your voice, but hearing what it was like when it was hitched and raspy, repeating his name like a mantra⊠he knew then that there was no better sound in the world. It would be all too easy for him to become addicted to itâ to you.Â
As your whines became more urgent, your hips practically riding his fingers as he brought you close to the edge for a second time, Sylus couldnât help but feel a sense of male pride. He was the one pulling those noises from you. He was the one you were calling out for, the one you were trusting to take you higher, to hold you and kiss you and make you feel good. He was the one making a noisy little wreck of you and branding you like he was born to do it.Â
He needed more. Sylus needed to feel you from the inside out, and the way his cock twitched in response to the thought was all the motivation he needed to withdraw his fingers from your soaked heat.Â
You were positively wrecked alreadyâ gorgeously soâ with your eyes glazed and unfocused, your lips parted freely around beautiful moans and brainless praises, breathless whines of Sylusâ name escaping you alongside the rattling breaths you sucked down. He almost hated that he was interrupting when he murmured, âWhat do you think, sweetie? Think youâre ready for me?âÂ
Your eyelids fluttered as your brain returned to the present moment, having completely spaced in lieu of Sylusâ never ending finger torture. Scrubbing a hand down your face, you rasped out, âF-Fuck, yeah, Iâve been ready. Youâre the masochist drawing this out.âÂ
Sylus laughedâ the sound deep and richâ before pushing himself up and sitting back on his heels, the heavy head of his cock dragging over your impossibly wet entrance as he got settled. He finally let go of your hand to maneuver you exactly where he wanted you, your knees resting on either side of him as he gripped your waist with fiendish strength.Â
âItâs not masochism, sweetie,â he purred, sliding his rock hard member up and down your slit to further tease you. âIâm being attentive. Thereâs a difference.âÂ
Sylusâ idea of being âattentiveâ bordered dangerously close to persecution, because you were hanging on by a sliver of a thread after all his prep work. You swallowed thickly and wriggled your hips against his solid manhood, aiming to drive him into action before you lost your mind entirely. âIâve been spoiled more than enough. If youâre any more attentive, the sun will start peeking through the blinds.âÂ
âWould that be so bad?â Sylus pressed the blunt head of his cock against your hole, not pressing in yet, but applying enough pressure that your heart rate quickened in your chest. âIf I have any say in the matter, weâll be seeing the sunrise regardless.âÂ
In one quick, fluid motion, Sylus effortlessly rolled his hips forward and pressed into your fluttering walls, a throaty growl reverberating within his chest as he was overcome with your unbelievable heat. The abrupt intrusion was far from unpleasant, but it was sudden enough that your mouth fell open around loud, stuttering moans, your eyes rolling back in your head as Sylus gingerly worked more of himself into you. Your hands scrambled for purchase against the silky sheets in an effort to compose yourself, and by the time he was sheathed nearly all the way within your core, your patience had evaporated.Â
The size of him was insane. You could feel every inch of him, every vein that lined his incredible length, and the way he pulsed against your walls reignited the flame of desire that burned in your blood.Â
âSylusâ Godâ Sylus,â you wheezed, tilting your head back as you forced yourself to relax your muscles. Rocking your hips up in search of stimulation wasnât enough, not by a long shot. You needed to get fucked through the bed. You needed Sylus to plow you like the fucking world was ending, and the visceral want that coursed through you was so strong that you wanted to cry.Â
Sylus groaned your name, the combined effect of you calling for him and the feeling of your absolutely drenched cunt sucking him in deeper making his goddamn head spin. He wanted to be gentleâ to let you get acclimated before he went any furtherâ because it wasnât egotistical for him to acknowledge that he was big compared to you. But when he felt the heel of your foot press against his lower back, silently urging him to move, his reservations dissipated into the night like vapor. He knew what you wanted, and being the thoughtful, quick learner that he was, there was nothing holding him back from giving it to you.Â
âNo God here, kitten.â Sylus rewarded you with a deep, grinding thrust that left you frantic with hunger. âItâs just me, and youâre being so good for me.â
Before you even had time flush with embarrassment, Sylus gripped your thigh with one of his hands and braced himself over you with the other, then pulled out nearly all the way before ramming his cock back into you.Â
Your shrill voice echoed off the walls of the bedroom, and your spine rounded clear off the mattress as you half whined, half screamed in ecstasy.Â
Every slam of Sylusâ hips knocked the breath out of your lungs, his powerful, cervix kissing thrusts leaving you winded as you blindly gathered a fistful of satin sheets in your trembling hands. His brutal rhythm never faltered as he pounded into you with inhuman stamina, breathing loud moans of your name while a mix of concentration and pure bliss settled over his stunning features. Lost in the throes of rapture, you could barely find the brainpower to appreciate the sight of him above you, but you sure as hell tried.Â
Sylusâ muscles rippled with power as he held himself over you and pumped his hips; his abdomen undulated, his shoulders tensed, and his lower half moved in a way you could only describe as wave-like. It was too much, and yet you couldnât get enough of it. Every time he would withdraw his cock and leave you nearly empty, another toe curling thrust would follow, the force of his hips connecting against your ass jolting you up the bed until you were bracing your hands on the headboard, pushing back against him desperately.Â
Entranced by your attempts, Sylus let you move back against him for a few beatsâ just enough to appreciate how your ass bounced against his pale hipsâ until the urge to take you over again completely filled him. He groaned, low and savage, and released his hold on your thigh to slide his hand under the curve of your spine, pressing you against him hard enough that you could barely move at all. Your whimpered protest fell on deaf ears, and Sylus hauled you back down the bed to pin you under him with his upper body in an act of complete possession, and you were almost tempted to pray when you heard his animalistic growl against your ear.Â
Sylus leaned his weight onto the hand braced against the mattress before fucking into you harder, faster, his long thrusts switching to deep, hammering ruts that drove the swollen head of his cock against your sweet spot so fast and so precisely that it damn near knocked you out. If you could use words at all anymore, you would have warned Sylus that you were about to come. There was no fucking way you couldnâtâ not when you were so full of his cock, your throat raw from sucking him off earlier and from screaming. You were being held down and fucked like you were Sylusâ personal toy, his nails scratching at your back as his hand curled into a fist in his efforts to hold you closer to him.Â
âYou feelââ Sylus gritted through his teeth, the deep tenor of his voice making you clench around him impossibly further, ââso fucking incredible.âÂ
All you could manage was a broken stammer, âS-Sylus, Iâmâ IâmââÂ
The soft strands of his hair brushed across your cheek as Sylusâ face loomed directly over yours, and when you blinked up at him with glassy, unfocused eyes, his one command threatened to bring tears to your eyes.Â
âDonât even think about coming.âÂ
Your noisy, incoherent pleas were ignored as Sylus continued to dominate you. Somehow in the midst of railing you through the bed, he moved his hand away from your back to dexterously maneuver your bent legs up, hooking them over his shoulders before bracing his weight on his forearm, and the result was catastrophic in the best possible way. Every inch of your body was vibrating, the pleasure mounting in your lower stomach driving you to abandon your hold on the sheets so you could rake your nails down Sylusâ shoulders. Fighting against the urge to finish was nigh impossible, your focus shifting to the feeling of his muscles working to fuck you as well as the enticing sound of skin slapping against skin.Â
Your vision was blurring. Your legs were quaking so violently that you were surprised Sylus wasnât shaking along with them. He laughed wickedly as he took in the sight of you beneath him, dragging his free hand down to feel around your body for something. Through the haze of it all, you didnât realize what he was searching for until you felt his fingers on your clit, and the sound that left your mouth wasnât one that youâd ever thought you could make.Â
He wasnât just a masochist, he was a fucking sadist.Â
Your head snapped back against the bed as you wailed desolately, your begging and pleading reduced to shaky iterations of âPleasepleasepleaseâ as the pain from being on edge for so long drove you to madness. Overwhelmed tears streaked down your temples, frustration and desperation and too much fucking pleasure twining together with the sharp ache of holding back. Every one of the sensations that wracked your body pooled into an immense rush of stimulation that had you moaning out a string of incomprehensible curses, until finally Sylus decided to have mercy on you.Â
âEyes on me, kitten. Show me what you look like coming on my cock.âÂ
He didnât have to tell you twice.Â
Sylusâ finger flicked over your now tender bundle of nerves once, twice, and then the world went white around you. You could dimly register Sylusâ gravely moans as he watched you crumble, his brows pinched with focus as he drank in the sight of your lips parting around a rattling gasp, his rough thrusting never letting up. It was so goodâ better than anything you had ever imaginedâ and your body trembled violently as Sylusâ movements became more erratic, but all you could pay any attention to was the blistering heat that flowed through your veins.Â
Amidst the exultation of your release, you felt Sylusâ hand return to yours, your fingers interlacing in a contrasting act of tenderness as his thrusts became shallower, his breathing turning heavier. He committed the expression on your face to memory instantly, and it took everything in him to savor every second of your fluttering walls sucking him in deeper before he was coming tooâ one last powerful thrust finding its mark. Thick, hot release filled you, the added sensation bringing you higher than you thought possible, and Sylus groaned appreciatively as he ground his hips against your ass to milk every last drop into you. Â
You were still catching your breath when Sylus finally stilled his movements, his haggard panting reaching you through the distant buzzing that rang in your ears. There was no way for you to know how long the two of you laid there joined from the waist down, but you knew that it took a good chunk of time before either one of you could think clearly enough to form words. Eventually, his soft hands gripped your calves to guide your legs off his shoulders and towards the mattress, the trembling limbs settling there like dead weight.Â
Sylus brushed his fingers against your neck to rouse you from your post-coital state, and when you cracked open your heavy lids to peer up at him, his expression was one of relative amusement. âYou alright, sweetie?âÂ
âMhm.â You hummed your response, and even though your tongue felt like lead in your mouth, you managed to mumble, âI canât feel my legs.âÂ
The sudden bark of laughter that burst from Sylus was something youâd never heard before, and you watched as he shook his head to himself before slowly pulling out of you. Part of you missed the feeling of him stretching you the second he was gone, but a bone deep fatigue that was much stronger than your meager feelings was winning the war of what you deemed important. Your eyelids started to slide shut of their own accord, every muscle in your body going lax as you melted into the bed.Â
Sylus watched you with a measure of worship, utterly transfixed by everything about you. He gently skimmed his fingers over your stomach as he moved to settle against the pillows, taking exceptional care not to jostle you too much while he got comfortable. You didnât seem to think similarly, however, because as soon as you felt his weight ease into the mattress, you were throwing your arm over his broad chest and hitching one of your legs over his, effectively straddling him sideways as if he were your own personal body pillow.Â
He laughed softly, moving to cradle you close with one arm while his other moved to lovingly brush your hair out of your eyes. Sighing contentedly, you fixed your eyes on the record player across the room, suddenly overcome with a strange sense of fondness for the Onychinus leader. âYou know,â you murmured, your voice slightly muffled against his firm chest. âYouâre not what I expected, Sylus.âÂ
âHm? What exactly were you expecting?âÂ
The cautious edge to his voice told you that he was prepared to hear the worst, but you surprised him by rolling your head to the side to plant a chaste kiss right above his heart. âIt doesnât matter. I just know that I wish more people were like you.âÂ
Sylus smiled, letting his head tip back against the headboard while he used his Evol to turn off the lights, plunging the room into comfortable darkness. âCareful, kitten. Keep up the flattery and I wonât take you home in the morning.âÂ
Your hand traced lazy shapes against his torso, and the corner of your mouth quirked up as you glanced up at him through your lashes. âI donât work tomorrow⊠besides, I seem to remember you saying youâd keep me awake long enough to see the sunrise. Or were those just empty words?âÂ
A devilish grin stretched across his face as he took your hand in his, pulling you to the side until you were made to roll entirely on top of him so you were straddling his hips. His lower half began to rouse back to life as you settled into place in his lap, and Sylus gripped your chin between his thumb and forefinger as his lustful gaze bored into your very soul. âI was going to be nice and let you sleep, but if this is the game you want to play, then Iâll hold true to my word. Any objections?âÂ
Your fingers wrapped around his thick wrist as you brought your face closer to his, your eyes greedily falling to his lips. It should have worried you how addicted to him you already appeared to be, but you couldnât find it in you to care. Sylusâ cock twitched against you as your gaze rose to meet his, a silent challenge twinkling behind your irises.Â
âNone at all.âÂ
âThen itâs a deal.âÂ
As the night droned on, you came to realize that these were the sorts of promises that you didnât mind making with him, especially when the sunlight streaming through the curtains hours later conveyed that Sylus had made good on his promise. The break of day didnât stop him thoughâ not in the slightest. His stamina and vigor remained intact as he dutifully ravished you all through the early hours of the morning, and as you fell apart beneath him once more, the only thing you knew for certain was that it was going to be a long, long weekend.
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace sylus#sylus x reader#sylus x you#sylus x mc#lads sylus#love and deepspace fanfiction#lads fanfic#love and deepspace fanfic#lads fanfiction#sylus smut#love and deepspace oneshot#my writing#this shit is LONG#already wanting to write shower smut or something because of misty invasion releasing this week#anyways I can't proof read this thing anymore I was up until 2am making revisions so ENJOY
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You belong with me
you and jace were childhood friends, you never left eachothers side growing up, but that all changed once you both went off to university.
CW: MDI, 18+, smut, p in v, oral (f receiving), fingering, angst, jealousy, unrequited love (kinda), love confessions, not proofread!
word count: 5,896
modern Jace x fem!reader
Masterlist
a/n based of taylor swifts you belong with me, lyrics and music video.i also have very little knowledge of american uni or football, but i tried my best though!
You and Jace had grown up, side by side. Your mothers had been the best of friends, and so naturally you both were also. For your entire lives you knew everything about each other, your traits your habits, you knew each other better than you knew yourselves. You made every decision together, especially the decision to go to Dragonstone university together.
And that decision changed everything.
It wasnât a surprise that Jace became so popular, he always had been. Always so able to draw a crowd and make friends in any situation.
And you, you had always been one to take a backseat. Happy in the friends you had, and never one to put yourself out there as he did.
And sadly, that seemed to be your first mistake.
He had joined the football team, finding new friends and a new crowd quickly.
You stuck to your old friends. Making small efforts to know the endless crowds of people at university.
And so, he and you started to spend less time together, and more and more time apart.
And then he got a girlfriend.
Sara Snow.
The cheer captain.
And the sister of his new best friend, Cregan Stark.
And suddenly you werenât apart of his life anymore. You had found out he had a girlfriend from sitting on the bleachers at one of his games and seeing her run towards him and shove her tongue down his throat.
As time went on, your texts to one another became less and less, your replies delayed, and sporadic, and his ever more so.
Your study sessions stop, nights in together became nights in apart.
It hurt, you had loved him for so long, as a friend and a lover. Not that he knew. All you could do no was stare in envy as you lost your best friend and never even got a chance to say goodbye.
That year was a strange one, you now watched each other from the outskirts, you didnât know each other every thought or where they were at all times.
Ther person you looked to in every room, no longer there, no longer was he the person you would text at every opportunity, or share looks as you reacted to what other people were saying.
Now you only knew each other in passing, a few texts here and there, mostly about your course, or if you were going home for summer or the weekend.
And when you both were home, it was so different. Once you would spend all day together, planning your days with each other. And now, you may sit in the same room, but little more than small smiles and small talk was shared between you.
And the few times you did feel you could talk to him; he would be, interrupted by his new friends coming to whisk him away.
The last three years you started to get used to not having Jace as a constant presence, instead you found great comfort in your other friends, you had always been close to them, and apart of you was grateful as you began to realise the love of female friendships, rather than just the love of Jacearys Strong.
It was Friday, the week before the big football game. The game everyone talked nonstop about, even Jace, as he had messaged you asking if you were coming to the game.
You had yet to respond.
Once you were his biggest cheerleader, sitting on the bleachers shouting his name. Now you no longer cheered his name, though you always sent him a kind smile when he did look for you in the crowd.
But unlike before you no longer went to every game, and as time went on you went to less and less.
 âAre you going to the game on Friday?â Maris asked. You were all sat in a private study room, preparing for your midterms.
You shrugged âmaybe, Iâm not sure yetâ
âof course, we all are! Itâs the big game, everyoneâs talked about it nonstop!â Baela said beside you, âand I also donât want to miss watching Cregan stark all hot and sweaty, now would I?â she said with a laugh, she and him had been casually hooking up for a past year, and with the way he looked at her she was sure they were soon to become more.
You laughed, âperhaps for you maybe, not that I have anyone worth ogling overâ.
âSure, you donâtâ Heleana giggled from the other side of the table âpoor Jacey would miss you terribly if you donât goâ.
âOh please, he wouldnât care if I was there or notâ you rolled your eyes.
âOh? Aside from his on again off again weird little thing with Sara Snow, Jace is, besotted with you!â Maris interjected.
âsheâs not wrongâ Rhaena spoke,
âReally?â you shook your head, âperhaps once, but he rarely speaks more than a few words to me anymoreâ.
âPerhaps thatâs because he realised how hot you areâ Baela said, sending you a wink.
âOh gods, do you remember the look on his face when you slept with Justin Lannister in our first yearâ Maris laughed, âhe looked like a kicked puppy!â
âEspecially when he saw the hickey he had leftâ Heleana added.
You shook your head âI think he was more disgusted with the fact I slept with Justin than anything elseâ.
âhmmâ Rhaena hummed, âand when you and Aemond dated in high school, what about then?â
âOh gods, donât bring that upâ Heleana grumbled, âit still brings me nightmares, from when I walked in- âshe fakes gagged at the memory.
âOkay stop it, I think youâve all proved your point!â you sighed, âmaybe once he had a crush on me, but not anymore!â
They all shared a look.
âAnd what about your crush on him?â
âWhat crush?â you said defensively.
They all laughed.
You stood up dramatic, gathering your books, âif I go to the game will you all shut up?â
âWe make no promises!â Maris said, laughing once more.
âUghh, I donât know why I put up with you lotâ you grumbled, as you went to leave.
âBecause you love usâ Heleana, answered.
âAnd Jacey tooâ Baela added.
you rolled your eyes as you left, heading home for the weekend.
You returned home often, your mother was all alone with out you there, though you did often find Rhaenyra, Jaceâs mother, in her company. You loved seeing them both, finding Rhaenrya presence to be as much as a comfort as your own mothers.
Its one of the reasons your friendship with Jace fading into what it was now, hurt so much.
Before you had practically lived at Jaceâs house growing up and now you rarely went over there, despite living next door, your bedroom windows facing one another. It hurt, seeing the life you knew suddenly disappear. To spend the summers in your own home, having your friends come to yours rather than to his, especially when you could see him on his bed, and you on yours.
He had changed, though not so much that he seemed a stranger to you, though his company was certainly strange. He knows hung out around Aegon a lot more, though he had once avoided him as often as he could. You were glad he had yet to adopt Aegonâs personality, the self-entitlement mixed with the self-loathing. Jace remained kind, his gaze often on yours whenever you were in the same room together. Something you had heard Aegon mock on several occasions.
As you walked into your house, the taste of cinnamon and sound of laughter flooded your senses. It was no surprise to see your mother in the kitchen, and even less of a surprise to see Rhaenyra with her, a smile graced your face as you approached the pair.
âmamaâ you greeted, âNyraâ.
âOh darling, I didnât know you were coming home!â your mother greeted, pulling you into a hug.
âI came home to study, I couldnât focus with all the football stuff going onâ you sighed, dumping your bag on the kitchen table.
Rhaenyra laughed, âyes Jace has talked nonstop about the footballâ she then looked at you with a sad look, âare you planning to go?â
âIâm not sure yetâ you replied, stealing one of your motherâs cinnamon rolls from the counter.
âIâm sure Jace wants you there, he misses your rituals you knowâ Nyra spoke, coming to sit down at the table you now sat at.
âHe does?â you did too, he was the reason you got into football in the first place and watching him without your rituals or watching games without Jaceâs constant commentary.
âI know he doesâ she smiled, reaching for your hand, as your mother moved towards to the table.
âBelieve it or not, darling, he talks about you oftenâ she gave you a teasing look.
You shook your head, âif only he talked to me and not about me moreâ moving to stand up and head for your room.
âHe said he was coming back this week, perhaps he willâ Nyra called out as you started to walk up the stairs.
As you lay on your bed, your eyes moving to investigate Jaceâs room. You laid there for a while, hoping they would open.
And they did. He had clearly just returned home just like yourself, his face tired, as he moved to sit on his bed, his face downcast, no smile in sight. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â
You moved to sit up, and as you did, he saw you, a small smile gracing his face.
He sent you a small shy wave, and for a moment you felt as if you and he were back to normal.
But then his smile disappeared as his phone rang.
She tried to not watch as he argued with someone, his girlfriend you assumed. They always argued, she was always upset about something he had said, she never got his humour, not like you once did.
You couldnât think of anything they truly had in common, then again you didnât know either of them, not anymore.
On paper It made sense them being together, she was cheer captain and he on the football team, whilst you, you were on the bleachers, watching the game and waiting for his victory, whilst she would cheer him on, in his direct view. Ever the supporting act, and you the extra.
Before Uni, you and been his biggest and though you still supported him, it hurt a little seeing her cheer his name, especially since you never knew if they were off or on again until her, she shoved her tongue down his throat.
You and he used to have a ritual before each game. the day before you would always bunk of school, and he would always somehow convince you to join him on his run, you would run side by side, your phones listening to same playlist. (You and he had always had the exact same music taste, music she didnât like, if the  though few parties hosted by his frat and her sorority were anything to go off of)Then you would spend the night staying up and watching the same three movies, before falling into a sugar induced coma only to be woken up by Nyra and Luke aggressively shilling you both awake screaming that your going to be late, and when you did finally wake up Jace would always force you both to take an ice bath, claiming it to be a good way to wake you up. You never believed him, and it would take him pulling you into the water with him for you to join him.
You would be there for every game and event, cheering from the bleachers.
And now as you watched him arguing with his girlfriend, you wished you knew what they were saying, there issues. A part of you regretted not trying harder to stay friends with him, even though it was him who moved away from you, not you away from him.
You reached down under your bed, trying to find the old sketchbook you used to use to talk to Jace before you both had phones.
You didnât have his number anymore, having deleted it off your phone, though you remembered it off by heart, a part, something you could never bring yourself to forget it.
You didnât want to text him, it didnât feel right, you are reaching out first almost didnât feel right either but eh looked hurt and you deep down still cared.
Finding a pen you quickly wrote, âyou, okay?â Finding a pen you quickly wrote, âare you okay?â
He had sat down on his bed, head in his hands before looking up to see you turn the paper around.
A smile graced his face as he shrugged and reached for his own sketchbook and pen.
âTired of dramaâ he wrote.
You laughed a little at his message, writing âsorryâ with a sad face beside it, shrugging as you turned the paper around
And he shook his head, moving to stand up as you went to write something else, only for him to shut his curtain before he could see what you wrote.Â
You shrugged of his easy dismissal, and how so few words were exchanged before he decided to end the conversation.
You had finished you studying, content and ready for your exams, so blasting your music on full volume you started to dance around your room.
Unbeknownst to you, he watched you dance, a smile pulling at his face as he realised you were the same as always. You danced like no one was watching singing along to the songs as you did. And he smiled, laughing at your antics as he remembered how you used to pull him up and dance with you.
He regretted how he ended his friendship with abandoning you, he wasnât even sure why he did it. He knew he hurt you. He feltBu, for his own selfish somehow, he had made gain. He had made new friends; he, he was popular and on the uni football team. He liked the spotlight always had and was half to have all these new friends. He had made a great bond with but in doing so he lost his truest friend and the woman he loved.
He had decided to talk to you, to apologise and make up for what he did. So, as he saw you at outside the bench outside both your houses he came over and sat beside you. So, as he saw yous at outside the bench outside both your houses he came over and say beside you.
âheyâ you heard a voice say beside you, as you turned your head to see Jace sit beside you.
âheyâ you said back, as your hair falling in front of your face. He reached his hand forward, to brush the hair out of your eyes, and tucking it behind your ear.
 âHow have you been?â he asked, his hand lingering slightly. You stared at him fro a moment, he still dressed the same, with the same worn-out jeans, the same smile, but with better hair.
You supposed you looked entirely different, though at the same time you hadnât changed either. Your curled hair was no longer a frizzy messed, but well maintained. You didnât wear your glasses much anymore, now favouring contacts. He seemed to smile as he took you in, staring at your eyes.
âIâm good, you?â
âGood, excited for the gameâŠâ he kept talking and it felt like old times again, you thought, it was so easy, to return to how it once was, chatting about nothing in particular.
He smiled as he spoke to you, happily chatting away. His smile was the same as always, a smile you sworn could light up a town.
âI havenât seen you in a whileâ you said after a pause.
âyeahâ he said awkwardly, scratching his head âIâm sorry about that, I never meant to- âa car pulled up, with Sara Snow in it.
He got up suddenly, mumbling goodbye as he did. His smile had faded, and turned into a forced smile, the kind of smile you gave to a stranger you passed in the hallway, as he got into her car. She instantly pulled him in for a kiss, her eyes staring you down as she did.
You had never actually talked to her before, never known anyone who had, but you did know Cregan, though not well, and he rarely said anything nice about his sister.
They drove away after that, Jace looking at you over his shoulder as they did.
The rest of the day you kept too yourself, focusing on studying. Jace had yet to return home, the light off in his room. Not that you were checking.
He had sent you a text, âsorryâ, nothing more. You hadnât replied, you didnât even know what to say.
From the corner of your eye, you saw the light in his room turn on.
He walked in with a downtrodden look. He had spent the whole day with her and felt only regret on not spending it with you.
He and sara were on and off again, never anything serious, no feelings past lust. Especially after how she talked about you today. He ended it officially, and he couldnât be happier. Especially when he saw yous at at your bed.
He reached under his bed for his sketchbook, reminiscing on how even as children you couldnât spend an hour with out talking to one another.
It had all changed after uni, and he regretted not dragging you with him as he changed.
âheyâ he wrote holding it up hoping you would look, and as luck would have it you did.
You seemed unsure as you yourself grabbed your own sketchbook, writing the words.
âwhatâs up?â
âI wanted to see if you were okayâ.
You furrowed your brows âyeah?â
He sent you a small smile, before grabbing his phone and calling you.
âHey?â you answered, your tone nervous.
âHey!â he said trying to lighten your mood a little, âiâm sorry about earlier it wonât happen againâ.
Yous kissed your teeth nodding your head, ârightâ his actions early hadnât supposed you, they only made you realise that you and he wonât ever return to how you were before. Choosing each other first always, and never up and leaving each other mid conversation.
âIâŠ. i broke up with her, officiallyâ.
You hummed, he nervously coughed.
âI I know I hurt you when I started dating her, and iâŠI am so sorry, I just got so caught up in the idea of it all, theseâŠthese past few years have been a torment to me, watching as you seemed perfectly okay with us notâŠnot being us anymore and I didnât know how toâŠhow to talk to you or-â
âi wasnât perfectly okay with itâ you interrupted him âat not point was I okay with loosing my best friendâ you shook your head, glaring at him through the window âI tried to talk to you and you shook me off, you chose her over an 18 year long friendship, how would I be okay with It!â
âI didnât!â he said quickly, his face panicked, âI-I I messaged you I swear I did I sent you so many messages and you never repliedâ.
âNo, you didnât, I get the odd one but the second is as her shove her tongue down your throat I havenât received these âmany messagesâ you claim to have sentâ.
âwhat?â he looked shocked through the window, âI told you about her, how I got drunk and slept with her at a party and how she wouldnât take no as an answer, you never replied, I sent you countless texts about going to study together or hanging out and you never showed up!â
âWhat! You never showed up when I asked you!â you were near shouting now.
âYou never asked me- â
âNeither did you!â
You heard your mum call you are asking if you were okay. You went silent, âwe canât do this over the phoneâ.
âMeet me at the backdoorâ you looked at him nodding your head.
âheyâ you said as Jace opened his back door, pulling it closed behind him.
âheyâ he said moving towards you, âlook, clearly there was some reason we never got these textsâ.
You looked at him in disbelief, shaking your head, âgods Jace I didnât realise you were so blind!â you laughed, âlook I donât know her or anything about her but, are you sure Sara never used your phone and maybe deleted the messages?â
âUmmâŠno?â he said unsure, âwhy would she do thatâ.
âOh, please Jace, you and I have known each other our whole lives, and when we first started uni, we were acting like a married couple, she probably wanted me out the way so she could date youâ.
âBut we werenâtâŠweâve never- âhe stuttered awkwardly.
âHave you never once thought of me-?â
He cut you off, âno!â he said it too fast, so fast that you were unsure if he meant it.
âReally? Because I have, I didâ you replied, sending him a shy look. You had hopped he had to and that you are saying this would make him say it in return.
He looked at you shocked, not expecting your admission, then his face turned guilty.  âI knowâ he said looking down, âbut at the time I- I saw you nothing more than aâŠa friend and so IâŠI dated Sara to push you away in hope you would stop seeing me as more than a friend.â He scratched his head awkwardly, looking down his eyes filled with guilt.
 âohâ thatâs all you could say. It was the first time you had ever admitted you had actually liked him, and to be rejected so clearly. To know the reason why he was with Sara, the reason he was with her in the first place was to get rid of you, it hurt more than three years of only passing words and fading friendship.
âI. Iâm sorry I⊠I broke up with her thoughâ.
You laughed a humourless laugh, almost in disbelief âI well that makes what you said betterâ you scoffed, truing around to leave.
He grabbed your arm, âNoâŠIâ he whispered your name, âI⊠I do like you like that⊠Iâm just before her id dint realise my feelings for you and I do knowâŠâ
You scoffed, âright⊠so it took fucking another woman and ignoring me for three years, to save me from my feeling, made you realise you liked me to?â
âYes.â He nodded.
You laughed, a short scoff of a laugh, âby the gods Jace youâre an idiotâ this time when he grabbed your arm as you went to leave you only shook him off, storming up to your room and leaving the curtains shut for the rest of the weekend.
That week you swear you saw Jace everywhere. He seemed to follow you almost.
Though you were both doing the same course, meaning 90% of your lectures were together.
âWhy is Jace following you?â Maris asked as you both walked out of your seminar.
âOh gods, I havenât told you, have I?â
She laughed, intrigued, âno, what happenedâ.
You looked down laughing as you tried to tell her, âWell Jace and I finally talked and he⊠admitted he liked me?â
âWhat!â
âthatâs not it⊠but he also told me that he knew I liked him and that was the reason he started dating Sara⊠so I would stop liking himâ.
âWhat the hells?â Baela said as she caught up to the pair of you, âdid I just hear that rightâ.
âdonât even get me started! But I basically told him he was an idiot; I mean who hurts someone like that!â
âIdiots!â Maris and Baela said simultaneously.
And as they did you saw Jace appear from around the corner, two coffees in hand. He had a hopeful look in his eyes as he walked towards you.
âSpeak of the devilâ you mumbled, as you turned to your friends, âIâll be back in a minuteâ you said as you walked towards him.
âJaceâ you greeted. âWhat do you want now?â
âTo apologiseâ he said handing you a coffee, âI really am sorry, I never should have done what I did, and I should have told you, and not kept it from you.â He looked at you, his face kin to puppy scrounging for food.
âThen why did you?â You said as you ushered him to an empty room.
âI was scared. âHe admitted, smiling shyly, âall my life I had loved you and everyone told me you did too, and then. then you and Aemond started dating and I thought they all were lying to me and how could you ever love me and when you could be with himâ
In truth it took you until after your relationship with Aemond to realise your feelings for Jace, in fact it was Aemond who broke up with you because he saw said feelings first.
He continued. âAnd then you broke up and everyone was telling me to take a chance, and then uni started, and I got scared and realised that you did I fact like me too. But for some reason I was convinced that being in a relationship in uni would only tear us apart. So⊠so I decided to take a step back and stop whatever romantic feelings we had- â
âThat wasnât your choice to make Jace, maybe for yourself but my own feelings? You had no right!â
âI know⊠I know. I was- I am an idiot andâŠIâm sorry, truly.â
You sighed, you could see he was really sorry, and yet an apart of you didnât want to forgive him. But another part of you wanted to jump into his arms and forgive him.
âI want us to be friends.â He said, with a hopeful gaze. And your heart broke all other again.
ânoâ you stepped back, âyou know of my feelings, and⊠I-I canât be your friend, I canât ignore those feelings, I wonât, I canâtâ tears welled in your eyes at the look on his face.
âI donât know if I can give you what you want.â
âWhy not?â
âBecause I have loved you my whole life, and I have already screwed that up, I canât risk whatever we have now for a relationship.â âwe have nothing, we are not friends, not lovers, nothing. You have nothing to lose and everything to gainâ.
âNo, I have everything to lose, I have already lost your friendship, I canât risk breaking your heart and loosing you forever!â
âSo, because youâre afraid of the possibility of us breaking up you wonât try?â you shook your head, âI canât believe you! I donât understand what you want! And you clearly donât see what I want either!â you went to leave, âI canât anymore Jace, I just want, I canât look at you without my heartbreaking. You broke my heart and our friendship once before because you feared losing me forever, well know I think you might have lost me anyway.â
You left without another word or a single glance.
The week passed slowly, your friends were a great comfort and your exams seemed to breeze past you, but the nagging in your back of your mind was constant.
The regret and want. The want to see Jace, to take back what you said and make him realise what an idiot he was. And the regret from not grabbing his face and kissing him.
You and he had been each otherâs first kiss, using the excuse of âpracticeâ to cover up you real feelings. It had been awkward, with nose and teeth clashing, and then before you knew it the kisses became perfect, casual even. You had both been sure it was the start of something. And then you ruined it by saying yes when Aemond asked you on a date. You never regretted dating him, he was your first love, your first everything. But not your first kiss. He made you realise what love was and that it was what you had with Jace all along.
Then University started, you lived in the same halls, saw each other every moment of everyday, cooking together, studying together. And then the casual kissing came back. Sweet kisses goodbye or good morning. And then one day you had lingered, and he had pushed back. Your daily routine faded, and then it all happened. The football team and Sara Snow.
It would of been better had he just stopped kissing you, stopped initiating the kisses. Instead, he left you, and now you had done the same to him.
And yet here you stood, getting ready for the big football game, with all your friends.
You wore a jersey, his. The day he got on the team he had gotten you both a jersey. It had sat unworn in a box under your bed since then. It fit perfectly, his name written in bold on the back, alongside his lucky number. The number you had picked, the number that was conveniently todays date.
You stared into the mirror taking a deep breath as your friends all readied themselves. You werenât sure exactly what you planned to do, but either way Jace would regret ever saying no to dating you.
Everyone was at the game, including the entirety of Jaceâs family, you found yourself sat next to Rhaenrya and Luke. You sat right at the front, practically, on the field, meaning Jace could see you, and more importantly you in his jersey. They had all taken notice of your jersey, with Harwin sending you a teasing look.
It was loud and chaotic, the entirety of the university at the event and for good cause as Jaceâs team had won.
You hadnât really paid any attention, your eyes solely focused of Jace. Â
He made eye contact with you, solely you and came rushing forward. You stood up moving yourself and before you knew it, he had sweeped you up into is arms. Spinning you around, he whispered like a chant âIâm so sorry, I regret everything I never should have- â
You shut him up, taking his mouth with yours in a slow passionate kiss. Moaning into each otherâs mouths, you realised you both had got on lost in the crowd, as everyone had run into the field. Leaving you to find a moment alone, to finally reconnect and admit your feelings.
âCome with meâ he said grabbing your hand, leading you away from the crowd and field.
âIâve never taken anyone here beforeâ he said once you finally reached your destination, it was a sweet little outlook with a view of the island. âThe day I found it I wanted to save it, for youâ.
You looked at each other, hands entwined.
âI love youâ you both said in unison, bringing a smile to each of your faces. Â
âI am so sorry about everything, I donât know why I said what I did, why I asked to be friends and nothing more. Iâm a foolâ
âYouâre my foolâ you laughed, âin fact were both fools, I donât know why we kept this from each other for 21 years. âYou laughed, before reaching forward and kissing him again.
It was so different from your years of practice kisses. They were deliberate and sweet. This was hot, passionate and desperate.
âGods, I need youâ he moaned into your mouth, as he backed you up onto a tree, his hands descending to your waist, pulling you closer to him. Your bodies stating to slowly grind against one another as your tongues battled for dominance, his eventually winning, as he took you in for one last heated kiss before his lips began deciding down your neck.
âPlease.â You begged, as you reached down to pull of his jersey, you wore nothing underneath, your bare breasts on show.
He moaned at the sight of them, before taking your nipple into his mouth, licking and sucking as he did. Low moans spilling out of you as he did. Â You gripped his hair as he continued his ministrations, before pulling him of your breast and reaching up to undress him. Soon you were both bare, if anyone was to walk by, they would easily you, but neither of you seemed to care as Jace moved to kiss you again his hand reaching down to caress your wet cunt, shuddering as he penetrated your hole.
As he continued to pump his fingers in and out of you, your moans swallowed by his mouth as you felt yourself tighten around his fingers your peak edging closer and closer, before he withdrew his fingers causing a moan of protest as his fingers left you.
âKeep goingâ you pleaded, but he simply shook his head, before going on his knees, your leg moving o his shoulder as he licked your cunt. He lapped you up like he was dying, and you were his final meal. Licking up all your juices before finally reaching your clit, his fingers hand made there way back to your cunt, as you felt his finger penetrate you once more as he sucked your clit into his mouth.
You moaned loudly as he did so, making no effort to hide your pleasure, as you gripped his hair and started to ride his face until you finally came.
he stood up slowly, before once again pulling you into heated kiss.
âYou taste divineâ he moaned into your mouth, before groaning as you reached for his cock. âjumpâ he groaned, and as you allowing him to thrust, into you in one slick movement as you wrapped your legs around his waist, causing you both to moan simultaneously, as your walls wrapped around his length tightly, he didnât move for a moment, allowing you both to adjust before he started to pump his hips slowly into you, building up a rhyme.
âGods you moaned,â gripping onto him tightly, as he started to pound into you, you both moaning as his pace picked up.
His face was buried in your neck, leaving kisses you where sure would leave a mark.
He continued to thrust his hips, pounding into you as your peaks grew closer and closer, his cock throbbing inside you as your cunt tightened around his length.
âIâm going to cumâ he whined. âFuck, where?â he asked, reaching down to rub your clit, prompting you closer and closer to Cumming with him.
âInsideâŠIâm on the pillâ you said between moans and before you knew it you felt the warmness of him spreads inside you as you came yourself, gripping tightly on his arms as you did.
You took a moment, leaning against, him and him you.
âWhy did we wait so long to do this again?â he asked catching his breath.
âBecause youâre an idiotâ.
He laughed, âand I will spend every day making it up to you I swearâ he kissed you softly, as if sealing his promise in a kiss, a promise you knew he would keep âI should have known, you belong with meâ.
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Your boys
Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x Female reader
Summary - The war has been a brutal reality check for you in more ways than one, the first being that life is far more fragile than you thought, and the second that you were deeply in love with not one⊠but both of your best friends.
Word count - 8k
Warnings - (18+) Smut, threesome, oral sex, handjob, mentions of war and homophobia.
A/N - Hi, im still here kinda. Suffered a pretty rough, year long writers block and then was finally able to edit this one shot I wrote ages ago. I hope you enjoy it and all its filth.
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The half-empty bar rings with laughter and the clinking of glasses as its patrons drown out their sorrows with liquor, a temporary haven for those seeking distraction from the heartlessness they've seen in the past few years. The smoke in the air was thick, but better than what you were used to, the scent of tobacco, not fire out on the field, though it lingers in your nose all the same.Â
The music, a familiar jazz tune carries through that thickened air, paired with deep laughter from rowdy men trying to ignore the sickening sense of dread they all pretend not to feel. Your attention however, is divided. Humming softly to the tune you can only half remember, your focus stays fixed on himâBucky Barnes, gazing from afar at his wide, mirthful grin, those blue eyes of his reflecting the low lighting of the bar as he sips at yet another beer.Â
You watch as Steve walks over to rejoin them, more drinks in his hands which he passes to the surrounding men with a nod, which they each take from him, too distracted with their chatter to thank him. Bucky chuckles, shifting back from the group to say something to Steve, a sly grin gracing his lips, smirking as Steve laughs softly at his joke, sadly too far away for you to be in on it.
You get lost in the sight of the men you've known far longer than you haven't, and have seen sink into themselves more and more in recent years, weathered by war, and yet, beneath the surface, your heart can still manage to find a lesser problem to dwell onâfeelings you never even asked for becoming even more known to you the more you watch them, both so pretty. Theyâd always been pretty.
"Come here often?"Â
You sigh at the unexpected voice, an instinctual reaction at this point, and regretfully you looked away from the two men, staring down at your glass for a moment before you tilted your head to the left and eyed her with fake annoyance, staring deadpan at the mischievous smirk playing on her red lips. You both know she caught you staring.
You look down at your drink again, watching the amber liquid swirl in the glass as you lift it to take another sip and wince, "No, should I?"Â
Her smirk grows wider, resting her elbow on the sticky bar top. She shrugs, "Depends what you're here for."
You pause for a few seconds, squinting at her as if flicking through the possible reasons to be in this dingy bar, other than an easy escape from the war outside. "Alcohol?" You ask, raising a brow. The only reason you were in this bar would be for Bucky and Steve.Â
"Ah, well in that case, no. The beer here is watered-down and overpriced." She quips, clinking her glass with yours before taking the seat beside you.
"Oh, that explains it." You respond, sighing dramatically as you take a swig from your glass. Peggy hums softly, her fingertips drifting over the lip of her glass. You can feel her eyes on you, as usual, watching, assessing the situation, and you take a risky glance at her, slightly apprehensive, not looking forward to the way she's going to read you like a goddamn book. "What?"
"Why are you over here, all by yourself?" She asks, her head tilted with curiosity.
You take pause at her question, setting your drink back down with a sigh, gaze drifting back over to the group of men talking loudly with warm grins on their faces, all the happiest you'd seen them in weeks if not months... actually years.Â
"I don't know, I just needed some time alone I guess." You shrug, which immediately earns you a disbelieving scoff.
"Bullshit, the one thing no sergeant would want at a time like this is to be alone. It's a tough job, we all survive on these rare few moments when we get to feel some resemblance of normal. Now tell me why you're sitting here alone."
You don't respond for a long moment, eyes flicking over to your childhood best friends again, as they often do when you find yourself in any room with them. "I'm just in my head. I can't stop thinking about what could happen... and what will. I just- I wish I could go back just for a moment, just to remember what it was like before everything went to shit. I'm sick of thinking the worst every time it falls quiet."Â
She listens quietly, then nods, her hand moving to your arm to give a reassuring squeeze, "I think we all understand that feeling."Â
You nod too, chewing nervously on your lower lip, feeling that sinking feeling like you've ruined the small moment of fun youâd been granted by taking notice of those anxious thoughts. Bucky's hand rests on Steve's shoulder as he talks into his ear, his lips curling up as he laughs through his own words, Steve blushing beside him, shaking his head and looking down at the floor.
"I'd give anything to go back." You whisper, eyes glued to them, thinking about the times Bucky would drag both you and Steve out dancing with him, and Steve would always step on your feet, and then apologise with pink cheeks each time as you reassured him you lost sensation in them two songs ago.Â
"I'm guessing you're talking about your boys." Responds Peggy and you nod before your eyebrows furrow, turning to her quickly with a confused frown on your face.
"My boys?" You repeat, ignoring how the notion of it makes you feel, because it just sounds completely ridiculous - and yes, they are your boys.
"Yes. I mean, they are your closest friends, aren't they?" She laughs, and you give your sad attempt at a normal laugh back to her.Â
"Yeah, of course. We've been best friends since we were kids." You say back, cringing at your awkwardness and sipping on your drink to try hide it.Â
It falls silent for a moment, which was a nice respite to the conversation that was making you anxious enough. Peggy obviously breaks it again. "You miss them."Â
It wasn't a question, so you donât answer, just stare down silently at your glass, swallowing the lump in your throat, that anxiety just getting worse, weighing you down onto your seat. You nod because it's true. With how hectic and scary the past few years have been, all three of you have changed in some way, and you've not had time to get to know those differences. You'd barely spoken to them about anything other than mission plans in weeks, everyone just more than eager to win this war and get home.
"Go talk to them, I'm sure they miss you too." Peggy offers softly, patting your shoulder again before giving you a smile. She slips off her chair, finally leaving you with your thoughts, walking across the bar to sit with the howling commandos with a half-empty drink in her hand, saluting the very boys you were just talking about, and you fight to ignore the stupid jealousy you feel when they both return the gesture to the gorgeous woman.
Youâre in way over your head.
Youâd hate to admit it, but sheâs right, you miss them, very, very much. Things haven't been the same since the war started, and you know it'd be naive to think it will ever go back to how it was. You feel that breath-stealing sadness whenever you look at Steve, a feeling you know is mutual for Bucky too. You still don't always recognise him when he's facing away from you, searching in a crowd for a small, delicate Steve that no longer exists, before you remember the beast of a man he'd become and feel a different kind of warm flutter when you see him.Â
Bucky is different too, quieter, rougher around the edges, darker. You miss that boyish charm of his, the easygoing, easy-loving James Barnes everyone knew. He always wore his heart on his sleeve, but he guards it now, keeps it locked away for safekeeping. He barely spoke for weeks after Steve got him out of that place, barely ate. You havenât seen him cry in months either, which is somehow much more worrying than if he were to break down into tears each night like a lot of the boys do in secret.Â
It hurts when you think back to before, a time when the three of you were so close you spent most nights sleeping at each other's houses, a time when your biggest worry was that the neighbours were gossiping about your 'morals', despite how many times Bucky reminded you that the old lady next door's opinion shouldn't matter to you.Â
But it did. Sometimes even you worried about your 'morals', a socially-expected guilt clouding the thoughts you'd have about them, both of them. It's always been more. A part of you always knew there was a deeper understanding the three of you had for each other, like how soulmates would be described in the romance books you had read, only it couldn't be so easy that you were in love with one of your best friends, it had to be both.
A person sits beside you again, and you roll your eyes with a small smile, turning towards them and expecting it to be Peggy back to drag you over to everybody else, but you quickly drop the expression at the sight of a man you had never seen before, smiling at you as if you'd invited him to sit there.
"Come here often?" The man asks, not sounding the slightest bit ironic, as amusing as that is for you. You hide your laugh behind your almost empty glass, which doesnât help you one bit seeing as the glass is clear. You resort to biting your cheek when he just stares back expectantly, apparently waiting for you to swoon and faint into his arms.Â
You shake your head, reminding yourself to definitely not come here often. "No, sorry." You respond, mentally scolding yourself for apologising for no reason, and then scolding yourself for scolding yourself. Can he just fuck off maybe?
"That's okay. Pretty dame like you in a bar like this, you here with anyone?" He sounds like Bucky, you think to yourself, only its not charming one bit when this stranger calls your a âdameâ. He moves closer to you, his arm almost touching yours, which was immediately enough for you to shift away, feeling uncomfortable and annoyed that he was in your space. You scoff, deciding you've seen far too much to give a shit about upsetting some creepy guy in a bar. You open your mouth to shut him down.
"Yeah, she's with us."Â
For fucks sake why can't I do the fun part?Â
You already know itâs Steve's voice, strong with that Brooklyn accent, even stronger with the distaste in his voice. You donât turn to look at him, still trying to keep the distance between you and the guy whoâs staring wide-eyed up at Captain America.
"Maybe go and bother someone else." Bucky adds, moving in behind the guy, his tone much less polite than the Captain's.
The man doesnât say a word, much to your amusement, just puts his head down and stands, walking away, probably going to find some other poor woman to bother, or nurse a stronger drink and lick his wounds.
They sit either side of you, Bucky's hand moving to your back. "You alright, doll?"Â
You sigh and nod, rubbing your forehead and smiling softly at him "I'm fine, Buck. You know I could've easily scared him away."Â
Bucky nods, smirking softly. He's seen you shut down many a guy before the war,
"I know, just making sure."Â
It falls silent for a moment, Bucky doesn't break eye contact with you and you can't bring yourself to do it for him, his gaze soft and inviting, almost as distracting as the way he wets his lower lip the way he often does.Â
"Why are you sittin' over here?" Steve asks, and it finally draws you to look away from Bucky, clearing your throat before turning to Steve on your left.
"Just lost in thought I guess." You respond with a shrug, deciding not to disclose the fact that you were lost in thought about them, as per usual.
Steves cheeks remain a little pink and you donât get why, wondering if he had noticed the weird staring going on between you and Bucky, which only makes you blush just the same in embarrassment.Â
"Thinking 'bout what, doll?" Bucky presses, his warm breath brushing against your shoulder. You don't let yourself look at him again, staring straight ahead as your stomach flutters with nerves and something else you don't want to think about yet.
You shrug, breathless as Steve inches slightly closer to you too, as if he and Bucky had some nefarious plan to make you want them impossibly more, his shoulder pressing against yours.Â
"I don't know. Just lost in thought about... how bad the beer is." You say, sheepish at your stupid response, but Steve laughs sweetly, which only makes you smile.Â
Bucky only hums in response though and you look over at him again, that enticing look in his eyes, "How about we get out of here? Just us three, we can swing it like old times, got a fairly decent bottle of whiskey in my room that's waiting to be drank."Â
You inhale softly in surprise and excitement. It certainly wouldn't be the first time the three of you had gotten drunk together alone, but it's been a while, and for some reason, it seemed like something different now, something new.
You glance over at Steve to see him waiting for your response, seemingly already aware of Bucky's idea, so you nod, not trusting yourself to speak and not look stupid.
You all leave the bar together after gathering your things, purposefully ignoring the smirk Peggy gives you as you walk past, just wanting to get out of the stuffy bar and away from the noise for a while.
It was a silent taxi ride the whole way back to the hotel you were all currently staying at, though not awkward. You sat between the two men, Bucky's thigh pressed against yours while you and Steve sit shoulder to shoulder.Â
You'd always thought that taxis were fairly spacious until you had to share one with a super-soldier and James Buchanan Barnes.
Steve pays the taxi driver with the best tip he can afford and soon enough you were all piling into Bucky's room.Â
You sigh when you walk through the door, not giving a second to hesitate to go to the bed, falling forward with another sigh as you stretch out across the mattress, kicking off your uncomfortable shoes and letting them hit the floor with a soft thud. It wasnât often you had access to an actual bed.
You can hear Bucky and Steve laughing as they take off their jackets, which you didn't have the nerve to watch them do.
"Comfy?" Steve asks, walking over to the small radio on the bedside table and switching through the channels till he found some decent music to have on quietly in the background.Â
You nod, humming softly and closing your eyes, "You try wearing heels for a whole night only 3 days after getting off the field."Â
Bucky sits beside you on the bed, looking down at you as you hesitantly peek your eyes open to look at him.
"Can't imagine the pain, doll. Want a foot rub?" He teases, a lopsided smirk playing on lips.
You scoff in response, laughing softly and definitely not considering his most likely joking offer. Instead of putting your sore feet on his lap, you just blush and sit up, shoving at his broad shoulder. "Shut up. Where's that decent whiskey you promised, hm?"
He laughs, picking something up off the floor from beside the bed and holding up a full bottle, passing it to you as he takes a glass from the bedside table near him, holding it out for you to pour the liquid into it.Â
"Hey guys, I'm gonna go change, then I'll be back, okay?" Says Steve, a smile on his face as he walks back towards the door, and you and James both nod, watching the tall man duck slightly through the doorway and leave room gently shutting the door behind him.
Its comfortably quiet in the hotel room, though the atmosphere slightly different. You sip at the strong-tasting, barely decent whiskey, the liquid burning its way down your throat to settle in your stomach, warm and familiar.
Your gaze again drifts to him, watching over the rim of your glass as Bucky moves to sit against the bed frame after pouring his own drink, shoes kicked to the floor, watching you right back, his head resting against the dark wooden frame, a soft look on his handsome face. A strand of his dark hair falls onto his forehead, and you follow it like an arrow pointing down to the white shirt he's wearing, the top few buttons undone as some sick way to punish you even further.
"You're always so sweet on him." He murmurs quietly, breaking the silence. He doesnât sound one bit jealous, only fond, his head tilted slightly, his tongue casually dragging across his lower lip.
"Aren't we both?" You tilt your head at him as you ask the question. It feels serious, despite the sweetness of his smile, theres something more hidden in the words, but neither of you are ready to say something like that out loud, the denial comfortable for a moment longer.
He goes quiet again, chewing on his lip as he stares down at the bed sheets, sighing softly. "I guess it's hard not to be. I know he's all tall and macho now," He pauses to huff a laugh, you watching and listening quietly and intently, him looking up to the ceiling as he continues, the smile fading to something softer, "But he's still Stevie."
A hint of a smile pulls at your lips, and you nod, holding your drink up to not spill anything as you shuffle over on your knees to sit beside him against the headboard, huffing softly at the movement, then propping up pillows behind you to be more comfortable as Bucky watches with an amused smile.
"And you're still Buck." You add once youâre settled, looking at his gorgeous face, your chin tilted upwards, and his down. He swallows softly, and you notice the movement of it, his adams apple moving in a distracting way that you swear makes you feel thirsty, so you take another sip of your drink, hoping it will settle the feeling it obviously wont.
"You sure about that?" He asks, his eyes flicking down, watching the whiskey swirl in his glass, lips set in something closer to a frown now. You know he's hurting, even if he hasn't felt ready to confide in you about it yet.
"Very." He looks at you when you say it, and you hold his gaze this time, his stare so intense, eyes so blue, lips so pink.Â
It takes your dumb, denial-stuck mind a moment longer to realise that you were looking down at his lips and that he was looking at yours at the same time, and there was no actual effort to either of you leaning closer, just a magnetism and a feeling spreading through your chest and butterfly filled stomach that you donât even question it, donât think once about the consequences, and technically its Bucky that ends up closing the tiny gap youâd made for him to do so, putting his glass down at the bedside table closest to him as his soft, warm lips make contact, eyes drifting closed,his hand then reaching across you and taking your glass too placing it down.
With his hands free, they move to cup your face, lips moving against yours, the kiss soft and sweet as your fingers drift up to the nape of his neck, his right hand reaching down for your thigh, grabbing flesh and trying to pull you closer as your lips move faster, a realisation that this kiss canât last forever and you both swear you need it to.
It shifts from sweet and soft, to passionate and fast-moving, an almost desperate feeling urging you to press closer, your lips coaxing Bucky's to open as his hands grip your skin, your hips, waist, thighs. You just want to taste him, just like you'd always dreamed of doing. It barely feels real, but you barely think about it when you slide your tongue against his lips and earn yourself a soft, heated groan in response.
The booze doesnât matter, you were drunk on him, butterflies in your stomach, heart hammering in your chest, an ache forming between your legs.
You'd never experienced a kiss like this before, never this intense desperation, so needy for more, clutching at eachother and shifting on the bed, breathing against his cheek.
Time is far lost to you both, only warm skin and hot mouths and soft lips, but the noise at the door breaks through the goodness of the moment, and you and Bucky quickly pull away from each other, panting for air as your heart hammers in your chest. Steve stands at the door wide-eyed.
Bucky licks his lips wordlessly as he tries to calm himself down, sighing and pushing his hair back, looking down at the bedsheets.Â
"Steve?" You ask when he doesnât say anything, anxiety clouding the heated memory replaying of the kiss, as you wait for any reaction from Steve.
Steve couldnât look more shocked, unable to look either of you in the eye, standing sheepishly at the door as he flushes pink.
"Sorry." He mutters, reaching for the door handle and making his turn to leave, and your heart lurches, sitting up to stop him, but Bucky speaks up before you can remember what words are.Â
"Steve." He says softly, and the blonde pauses, looking over at Bucky and waiting to be chastised for entering the room without knocking, but Bucky only offers a small, hesitant smile, "C'mere."Â
Poor Steve stands frozen for a while, face only getting redder as you and Bucky stare back at him, the image of the two of you kissing, Bucky's hand squeezing your bare thigh under your dress, yours tugging on his hair, its heavy in the forefront of his mind, and it sets something off in his stomach, something he likes the feeling of.
Bucky gesturesfor him to sit on the bed with them and slowly, Steve does.Â
"I didn't mean to-" Steve begins, but Bucky cut him off and you watch dumbly as he handles the situation.
"It's okay." He assures, falling silent for a moment as he tries to find the words to say what he really wanted to, "We're all friends, right? It shouldn't be awkward."Â
Itâs actually incredibly awkward, but denial was a much easier option, and so you simply avoid eye contact with either of them as you think youâre so good at doing, as you reached over Bucky for your drink again, taking a long sip of the alcohol, focusing on the burn in your throat rather than the ache between your thighs.
"Yeah," Steve responds, sounding as breathless as you feel.
"Maybe-" Bucky stops himself, and you lookover at him, waiting with bated breath for him to say 'Maybe we should just forget it ever happened' but his mind goes elsewhere, "Maybe you two should kiss. You know... make it even."Â
The tension in the room couldnât be any thicker, and so completely silent, not a breath between you. You chance a risky glance at Steve and he stares straight at Bucky, mouth agape, eyes wide.
You feel like you need to say something, feel like youâre fighting between your mind, your heart, and your⊠The nerve builds up quick and words rush out of your mouth, just needing to escape this awkwardness, "Bucky, I don't think Steve would-"Â
"C'mon, I'm not blind, I see the way you two look at each other. You're telling me neither of you is at least a tiny bit curious what it would be like?" Bucky cuts you off, looking between you and Steve with a raised brow, "Don't feel forced to do anything, of course. Just... I don't know... Think about it?"
Oh, youâre thinking about it, you have been thinking about it, for years, in fact youâre imagining it in way too much detail, but acting on it like this, rather than a random, heated frenzy like with Bucky, is much more nerve-wracking.
Its when you risk a glance at Steve that the doubts starts to slip away slightly. its so painstakingly obvious, the blush on his face, the way he canât look you in the eye and he seemed just as deep in thought as you. You remind yourself who you're with, though much taller now, heâs still Stevie. Your teeth catch your lip, nerves fading enough that you feel less awkward and more anticipating. It already feels like it's the end of the world anyway, actions tend to feel much less consequential.Â
"I don't know, Steve..." You start, watching with rising butterflies as he looks over at you, his lips parted, "Maybe he's right."
James grins like youâve joined the dark side, smirking down at his glass, just listening to you shift into a second devil on Stevieâs shoulder.
"P-pardon?" He almost whispers, and you smile softly, still polite Stevie.
"Maybe we should kiss." You manoeuvre onto your knees, and James wordlessly takes your drink again, placing it back down and inhaling softly, leaning back against the bed frame again and just watching quietly. Steve breathes in, watching you move closer. "Only if you want to, of course." You add for good measure, and Steve gulps, lips parting as he looks over at Bucky, as if for reassurance, Bucky just stares back. You crawl over, settling in front of him, "Do you want to?"
He takes another moment, before softly, he nods, taking a deep breath.Â
You look into his eyes, scooting close enough for your thigh to touch his, and you reach for his broad shoulders, biting your lip softly. You canât quite wrap your head around the idea of kissing either of them ever, especially not both... in front of each other in the time span of five minutes... but thereâs no room for regret, just you and your boys...
Your hand glides over to his face, holding his jaw softly as you tilt his head down to you, pressing your lips against his.
This kiss was softer, slower. You knew Steve had kissed before, you were the one who heartbreakingly caught him with not one, but two USO girls, but hes certainly not as experienced as Bucky, nervous and shy, so you stay as gentle as possible, not pushing him to go any further than the gentle touch of your lips until he presses for more, tentative, but he follows your lead, his right hand hovering over your waist before he pulls it away, and you kiss him once more before breaking the contact. You can tell how nervous he still is.Â
The room is still as you and Steve pull away from each other, Steve's focus stuck on you as you sit back slightly, looking over at Bucky, as your lips tingle from the kiss, curious to see his reaction, and the sight of him makes your stomach flip.
He sits rested back against the headboard again, legs splayed out in front of him as he watches the two of you with a clearly lustful gaze, his lower lip caught between his teeth, this dark desperation in his eyes, and its like you can read the dirty thoughts clouding his mind.
You donât think at all when the words left your mouth, but they do, "Your turn."
Buckys lips part, eyes widening slightly and Steve takes an audible breath from beside you.
"What?" The blonde gulps.
You swallow your nerves again, Bucky was right, he could see the way you and Steve look at each other, because you've always looked at each other that way, just like you and Bucky look at each other, just like Bucky and Steve.
It's something that none of you had ever addressed until now, something you'd never let yourselves act upon, but who cares what people think at this point, who cares where this could lead you. If the war has given anything but trauma to you, it's shown you how fucking fragile life is, how much you'd regret it if you never acted upon these feelings, how much they'd regret it.
"You two should make it even, right?"
Steve stares at you, not letting his gaze drift to Bucky, but Bucky stares right at him, something intense in his eyes, something between realisation and surrender, and its clear that heâs waiting for Steve to reject it, to reject him, to wrinkle his nose at the disgusting notion of a man kissing another man, just as everybody else would do, but Bucky knows that wasn't a fair assumption to make about the golden-hearted man he knows their Stevie to be. He still waits though, preparing himself to have to have to take the rejection.
"I-" Steve starts, the very same worries as Bucky filling his head.
"Steve, aren't you at least a tiny bit curious?" You ask gently, using Bucky's previous words in hopes of lightening the mood slightly, which seems to work when Steve huffs a small laugh, though he gives no response.Â
You look at Bucky, seeing the heartbreaking disappointment and acceptance in his eyes. You nudge his foot, giving him a soft smile of encouragement when he looks up at you.
He gives you a small smile back, before looking over at Steve, wetting his lips.
"Stevie." He almost whispers his name, and his gaze is soft when it meets Steveâs, "Come here."Â
Steve decides not to give himself the chance to hesitate, moving towards Bucky before he can think about what heâs doing, and Bucky leans forward to meet him halfway, his palm sliding across his cheek, thumb smoothing along the skin before he closes the space and Bucky and Steve are kissing right in front of you.Â
Its gentle for a few seconds, hesitant on both parts before Steveâs reaching out, hands clutching the material of Bucky's shirt, pulling him forward, pulling him closer.Â
Their kiss was rougher, all tongue and teeth and the sight was a lot to try to handle, all you could really do was squeeze your thighs together and enjoy the sight of your two favourite boys, enjoying how eachother kiss.Â
Bucky detaches his mouth from Steve's to meet your eye, pulling you closer as his hand holds the side of your neck.
He kisses you, open-mouthed and needy as his tongue glides across your lip, steve groaning softly at the sight, his hand once again hovering over the curve of your waist.
"It's okay, Steve." You murmur against Bucky's lips before you pull back to look at Steve, gripping his hand with your own and guiding him to touch you where he had wanted to, "You can touch me. You can touch me anywhere you'd like. Both of you."Â
"Fuckinâ Christ, doll." Bucky sighs, lips mouthing across your jaw, his head dipping lower to kiss your neck, "You want that huh? Want both of us to touch you?"Â
You nod as you kiss Steve, Bucky giving you a hickey just below your ear like a goddamn teenager. Bucky makes his way to Steve's neck then, curious to what noises he could pull from Captain America himself, and he chuckles against Steve's neck when he sighs softly into your mouth, as sensitive and worked up as Bucky had always wondered he'd be.Â
When Bucky and Steve start kissing again, you take the opportunity to catch your breath, sitting back for a moment to watch the way Bucky pushes Steve down against the mattress, everything escalating so quick and yet feeling exactly like the way it should be. He adjusts his hips over Steve, pressing against him, and Steve groans softly, his rising up to meet buckyâs.
You bite your lip at the sight, your hand almost subconsciously sliding between your thighs, applying slight pressure against your underwear as your thighs squeeze together again.Â
It just feels so right, and your body is reacting like it never has before, all reservations out of the window when you fingers press against your clit ever so slightly, breath catching when Bucky starts talking.
"Y'see that Stevie? Look how desperate our girl is for us. She just has to touch herself, doesn't she? Think we should help her out?" He murmurs, speaking the words into Steve's ear, though saying them loud enough for you to hear them too, and Steve nods quickly, no more hesitation, panting for breath, lips a pretty shade of kissed.
Our girl.Â
"God, yes." Steve answers.
Their attention turns to you, Bucky with that mischievous, knowing glint in his eye, "Why don't you help her out of that dress, Stevie."
Steve nods, following orders like this was a part of his training, moving closer towards you, more confident though a bit sheepish.
"Go on, honey." You say to him, kissing his jaw as his fingers brush against the zipper at the back of the dress. He somehow manages to unzip you as slow as physically possible, fingers dusting along your back in a way that brings on a shiver. He finally pulls the dress off over your head and Bucky gives a low whistle at the sight of you, their pretty lady just in her undergarments.
Your head tilts back when Bucky leans towards you and kisses your collarbone, the kisses trailing lower and lower until he was kissing across the tops of your breasts. You sigh at the sensation, loving the attention on you but it doesnât seem vert fair youâre in your bra and panties only and these two were fully dressed. You tug at both Steve and Bucky's shirts until they get the hint and both start pulling them off, Steve's going over his head while you help Bucky undo the buttons on his.Â
From then on the clothes seem to keep coming, and you chuckle softly as Steve helps Bucky unbuckle his belt and pull his pants off. It doesn't take long before they're both left in only their underwear, and neither you nor Bucky give Steve the chance to blush or second guess anything when you lean towards him, kissing his shoulder and Bucky kissing his lips.Â
You'd think it would be overwhelming, but god it just feels so right.Â
You hum as fingers drift across you back to the clasp of your bra, Bucky looking at you, waiting for your permission, which you quickly give, nodding your head breathlessly before he quickly undoes the clasp, helping you out of the straps and then finally pulling the bra away.Â
"Fu-" Steve stops himself, staring down at your uncovered breasts, your peaked nipples, soft pretty skin, waiting desperately to be touched and he forces himself to close his eyes, convinced for a second that that was it, he was going to come right here and now in his briefs. Bucky chuckles, that cheeky grin on his face as he dips his head and kisses his way across your now bare chest, cupping your left breast gently and mouthing over your nipple, smirking as your fingers thread through his hair, swirling his tongue.
"I think we're corrupting our sweet little Stevie, love," Bucky murmurs, and you hum back at him, looking over at the blonde who sits in amusing deep concentration, trying desperately hard not to lose himself.Â
"I don't know, Buck. I reckon Stevie's much less innocent than you think. Plus, he's not so little anymore..." You tease, knowing heâs listening, so you reach over, your palm against Steve's thigh, "Why don't you show us, honey? Get out of that head of yours, and come play with me and Buck."
Even Bucky groans at that, pressing his face into the crook of your neck as he continues to kiss you with a bit more hunger now.
Steve looks wrecked already, opening his eyes to look down at the two of you, skin against skin, waiting for him to come back to you.Â
"Why don't you tell us what you want, Steve?" You ask him, moaning softly when Bucky rubs his thumb over one of your nipples.
"I want.." He licks his lips, looking down your body, eyes lingering on the one place youâre still covered, "I want to touch you."Â
"Then touch me, Stevie." You respond and his hand drifts slowly to your thigh, Bucky still busy paying attention to your chest.
Steve's fingertips brush against the edge of your underwear, looking up at you for reassurance, "Even here?"
You sigh when Bucky grazes his teeth across your skin, tugging on his hair, "Especially there."
"Go on, Steve, I think she's still a bit overdressed," Bucky adds, encouraging him to strip you of your final layer, and Steve does so, feeling his cock throb as your bare pussy comes into view.Â
You part your legs for him, your inner thighs already showing how wet you are, waiting patiently for someone to finally touch you where you needed most, and when Steve brushes his fingers through your folds, tentatively exploring, nudging against your swollen clit as he did so, you moan openly.Â
Bucky leans back, looking down at you laid out across the mattress, completely bare beneath them as you lift your hips to meet Steve's hand, needing more pressure. Bucky reaches down for Steve's hand, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth as he assists him.Â
"Touch her right here with more pressure. Make small circles." Bucky directs, and Steve gladly follows the instructions given, watching as you get more and more breathless as he touches you, his fingers getting covered in your slick as you whimper softly, "Just like that, Steve."
Steve bites his lip at Bucky praising him like that, his cock throbbing so hard in his briefs as he focuses on trying to make you feel good, before Bucky takes a hold of Steve's fingers, guiding them lower and lower until they were sliding into you. You gasp softly, head tilting back at the slight relief of no longer being empty, but youâre still no way near full, needing more and more, still, you enjoy this, shifting your hips as Bucky instructs Steve to curl his fingers.Â
A pretty sounding moan slips from your open mouth when Bucky really starts participating, leaning on one arm as the other hand moves down to you, his thumb almost softly rubbing over your clit, watching in gentle awe and focus as him and Steveâs hands take good care of you, Steve's two fingers fucking into you as Bucky builds a steady rhythm on your clit. It doesnât take long of the repeated pattern before your hips roll forward unknowingly, getting closer and closer to coming, the heat in your body rising, every nerve tingling... so close.
"James, I'm-- Fuck, Stevie." You moan, enjoying having two names to beg to, feeling your body tighten up as they both continue until youâre over the edge, coming on your best friend's fingers, your body vibrating as they ease you through the strong orgasm, Bucky not stopping until you reach down and gently move his hand away, bordering on overstimulation as your body becomes overly sensitive.Â
"Holy fuck." Steve murmurs, and Bucky laughs at him, nudging his arm.
"Language." He teases.Â
"Shut up, punk." Replies Steve, pushing Buckyâs shoulder back. You lay there catching your breath, humming with a gentle smirk as you watch them act so casual after both giving you the best orgasm of your life, so far.
"God, just make out already." You joke, grinning at the two, your body relaxed, and Bucky gives you a look as you sit up.Â
"Oh, you'd like that wouldn't you." He nips at your shoulder, and you roll your eyes playfully, enjoying seeing him like this again, the happiest and most like himself you'd seen him in weeks, "Good, thing I'd like that too. Steve?"Â
Steve looks over at Bucky, nodding and moving closer to him, kissing softly.
You give yourself a moment to gather yourself, catching your breath, relaxing in the afterglow of the first orgasm youâve had in a while, admiring them for a short while, and then eventually joining them, kissing across Bucky's shoulder, raking your nails through Steve's hair.Â
"Think Stevie's ever had someone's mouth on him before?" You murmur into Bucky's ear, feeling pride in the sigh he gives in response, pulling away from Steve's mouth, humming against your skin as he leans into you, head laid back against your shoulder, nose tucked against your neck.
Steve just couldnât stop staring, his erection straining against his underwear, both of you watching him with those eyes. None of it feels quite real, like itâs all too good to be true, yet so much better than he imagined. He groans softly when Bucky moves his hand down, watching him as he presses his palm against his cock over the fabric.
"How 'bout it, Stevie? Think you could handle someone's mouth on your cock?" God, the words are so obscene, yet so natural as they fall from Buckyâs lips, Steve all but whimpers when the both of you start kissing on his neck, "Ever done that before, Steve?"
He shakes his head, hands reaching to touch both of them in any way he can, "God, please."
"Not God, angel." Bucky starts, the pet name rolling off his lips, smooth as butter, sweet as honey, "Just us."
His briefs were off, his cock springing up when it was finally released from the far too tight confines of his underwear. Bucky leans forward, kissing Steve as he guides him to lay back on the mattress, hovering over him.Â
The sight couldnât be more mouth-watering, his cock a deep shade of pink as he leaks pre-cum onto his stomach, so desperate, kissing Bucky back like his life depended on it.Â
His stomach tightens when you start kissing your way down his chest until you finally reached the tip of his cock, wrapping a hand around the base, kissing the tip, hearing Steve moan into Buckyâs mouth.
You lick along the underside of his shaft, swirling your tongue over the head and liking the salty taste it left you with. Steveâs an utter mess, bucking his hips and squirming beneath you and Bucky when you finally put your mouth around him, no longer having the focus to continue kissing Bucky, instead just letting his head fall back against the pillows, breath laboured and heavy as you start to suck.Â
"C'mon, sweetheart. You can go deeper than that." Bucky purrs, tilting his head as you look up at him through your lashes, and you pull off of Steve, using your hand to make lazy strokes up and down his cock, shaking your head at the brunette.
"He's so big, Bucky," You bite your lip, and Steve whimpers softly at your compliment, watching as you fake a look of innocence, giving Bucky those doe eyes as you brush your thumb across the tip of Steve's cock. "D'you wanna taste him, Buck?"
Bucky already knows the answer to that, his cock was throbbing at the sight of you and Steve alone, but he glances up to Steve, meeting his distracted gaze and waiting for some sort of permission, which was given almost immediately, Steve frantically nodding his head.Â
Bucky smirks, winking at you as he adjusts himself on the bed, moving beside you, giving your lips a chaste kiss before lowering his head, your hand still holding his cock for Bucky to enjoy, his tongue circling the head just as you were doing only seconds ago, as you continue to stroke Steve's remaining length while Bucky starts to take him deeper into his mouth.Â
Steve couldn't hold back on the sounds heâs making, he's never been so vocal, never been so sensitive to touch, but he canât help himself, Bucky's mouth felt so warm, so wet, and when he opens his blue eyes to look down at the two of you, he know he wont last much longer.Â
You bend your head down when Bucky comes up for air, tracing your tongue against Steve's cock as you meet Bucky's eye holding his heart-stopping gaze as Bucky started doing the same, both of your mouths on him at the same time.Â
Itâs filthy, an act of sin no doubt you'll never come back from, but you wouldnât want to anyway, humming when Steve starts panting, his abs constricting, you wrap your lips around the tip, pumping his cock with your hand until his cum filled your mouth, hearing the deep groan that reverberated through his chest as he came.
You swallow as you pulled away and a hand finds its way to your neck, Bucky pulling you closer. âNo fair, youâre supposed to share, sweet girl.â He chastises softly, almost pouting, before he closes the gap to capture your lips with his own, his tongue sliding into your mouth. He moans softly at the taste of Steve's cum on your tongue, the pretty sound so perfect on your ears, only reminding you that Bucky was yet to be touched, focusing on yours and Steve's pleasure instead of his own. How very like him.
You rest your hand on his stomach as you kiss him back, gliding your fingers lower and lower until you reach the waistband of the underwear that he was still somehow wearing. You ping the elastic against his skin, smiling into the kiss when he only leaned closer.Â
He shudders as your hand finally slides past the band, wrapping around his cock and pulling him out. Neither of you made any move to remove his underwear, you both knew he was far too gone, too desperate to wait any longer, so you squeeze the base of his cock, pulling away from the kiss only to look at him.
Hair mussed, light eyes the darkest you'd ever seen them, as he watches every little move you make for him, his lips red and swollen, cheeks flushed pink. He finally looks as wrecked as Steve, who was still getting over the fact that he just came in his best friend's mouth.Â
You move your hand slowly at first, stomach fluttering with every strangled moan that caught in Bucky's throat, "You're all talk, ain't you Buck?"Â
"Fuck, doll- please-Â I need to come." He groans, eyes fluttering shut when you kiss his neck, his forehead dropping to your shoulder, arm wrapping around your waist.
"You look as desperate as our Stevie right now, James." You tease, but still speed up your hand for him, swirling your thumb across the slit to hear his breath hitch in his throat.Â
Bucky looks over at Steve then, giving a light-hearted scoff at the sight of him rock hard again, stroking slowly at his cock as he enjoys the show in front of him.Â
"Fuckin' super soldier." Bucky laughs, laying his cheek on your shoulder, groaning softly as his eyes flutter closed.
You can tell how close he is, moving his head to tuck right into the crook of your neck, talking himself away like he tends to do, "Fuck, feels so good, sweetheart. 'M so close- Never felt this good before, doll."Â
You were used to his nicknames by now, years of him calling you 'doll' more than he used your actual name usually had you rolling your eyes, but now, like this, it makes your stomach flutter.Â
It wasn't much longer till he was coming onto both of your stomachs, hot spurts painting your skin as Bucky's hips twitched forward with every second he comes, groaning as you continue to stroke him.
Steve follows yet again not long after, and a glance over to him laid against the headboard with his abdomen covered in his own spend has you blushing, never mind the fact that he'd just had his fingers inside you, and his cock in your mouth.Â
Bucky quickly cleans up your stomach with his discarded shirt, along with his own before he tosses it to Steve with a chuckle.Â
Youâre all glowing, surprised by the complete lack of awkwardness despite all the things that had just happened in Bucky's hotel room. Instead, you all huddle together on the bed, your head laid on Steve's shoulder as Bucky rested his on your stomach, your fingers naturally finding themselves threading through his hair.Â
"Well, that was fucking amazing," Bucky murmurs, a content smile on his face as he looks over at you and Steve, his arms around your waist.
"Yeah, it was." Steve agrees, moving one of his hands through Bucky's hair too, before draping his arm above your head.Â
You go quiet for a moment, the afterglow not quite enough to keep the anxiety at bay anymore, "I just wish we'd done this earlier."
They know what you mean, they know what youâre insinuating, and the room falls silent. None of you could deny the dangers, the uncertainty ahead of you, but that didn't mean you couldn't enjoy the time you had up until that moment youâd all have to risk everything again.
"We can't think like that, baby," Bucky speaks first, his voice soft, gentle and yet serious, "I know it's hard not to, but we can't focus on the regrets. If anything, we just need to live the best we can with what we've got... and if I've got you two, I don't need anything else."
You nod, pressing your face into Buckyâs hair, although you canât see Steve's face, you know that he agrees, his fingers brushing against your arm affectionately.Â
"Bucky's right. Let's just enjoy this, lord knows we've all been pining for each other for years."Â
You chuckle softly, having needed this soft moment for a long while, feeling warm and loved between them, hoping they feel it too.
#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#james buchanan barnes#james bucky barnes#sebastian stan#bucky#steve and bucky#40s bucky#bucky barnes drabble#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes headcanon#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes imagines#bucky barnes one shot#bucky barnes oneshot#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x reader fluff#bucky barnes x yn#bucky barnes/reader#bucky barns x reader#bucky fic#bucky fanfic#bucky fluff#bucky imagine#bucky smut#bucky x female reader
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Kind stranger
Kang Dae-ho x pregnant!reader warning. swearing, not proof read, in-ho never reveals his true identity, might be OOC
A/n. this is uhâ long. and my first time writing for squid game so I hope you enjoy!
âMiss, are you okay?â A man with the number 388 on his shirt asked, his voice soft and careful. His eyes, curious and innocent, sort of reminded you of a puppy; despite the grim reality around you both.
âOh, me? Yeah, Iâm fine,â you said quickly, keeping your head down. âJust.. shaken up after the first game.â His brows furrowed slightly as he studied you, but he didnât step closer. âYou sure? I could ask for help if youâre feeling unwell.â âYeah,â you said, forcing a small smile. âReally, Iâm fine. Thanks for asking.â For a moment, he looked like he might say more, but then he nodded. âAlright. Take care of yourself,â he said simply, before stepping back and going over to the man who supposedly has won these games before.
You exhaled, the tension in your shoulders easing. He didnât push, and for that, you were grateful. The last thing you needed was someone noticing how you instinctively cradled your stomach when you thought no one was looking.
As the room buzzed with hushed conversations and the sound of restless movement, you sank further into yourself. There wasnât room for kindness here, not when you were hiding something so preciousâsomething that would only make you a target.
Still, you couldnât shake the warmth in his voice. It was strange, how a simple act of concern could make you feel human again, even for just a moment. But you reminded yourself it was safer this way. No ties, no risks.
The only thing that mattered was keeping you and the life inside you safe. Your baby girl.
Once you woke up to the loud melody of classical music you were immediately hit with a kick to the stomach. âShitâ whoâd think that a baby could be this strong.â You think to yourself as you lazily sit up, rubbing the rest of the sleep from your eyes.
âAttention all players, the next game will begin shortly. Please follow the staffâs instructions and make your way towards the game hall.
Rightâthose death games. You joined the forming line of players, a chaotic mix of emotions filling the air. Some people were pale with fear, trembling as if the weight of the games had already crushed them. Others seemed indifferent, like theyâd embraced whatever fate awaited. Then there were those who practically vibrated with excitement, eyes gleaming at the chance to win yet another fuck ton of blood money.
You were firmly in the scared to death category. Money didnât matterâ at least not anymore. Your debt was more than the share youâd get if the first vote had ended in the Xâs winning but to you no amount of cash could make this worth risking your babyâs life for.
As you shuffled forward, lost in thought, you felt a tap on your shoulder. Startled, you turned to see the old lady from the first game, her kind smile somehow both soothing and grating at the same time. âDo you need a hand? Iâm sure youâre still tired.â She asked softly, leaning closer as though trying to shield her words from the others. âI heard the next game is dalgona, so please, be careful.â You forced a small, polite smile, trying to keep your voice steady. âOh, no, Iâm fine. Thank you,â you said quickly, brushing off her concern as gently as you could.
She didnât seem convinced, her gaze lingering on you for a moment longer than you liked. But, thankfully, she nodded and stepped back into line.
You sighed inwardly, a mix of guilt and frustration bubbling under your skin. It wasnât that you didnât appreciate her kindness. In a place like this, it was a rarity you didnât take lightly, but you couldnât afford for anyone to notice how vulnerable you really were.
Well whatever theory the old woman heard, it definitely wasnât true. You were supposed to divide into groups of five and all though you didnât really remember dalgona being a big part of your childhood, you still knew it definitely wasnât a group game.
You sigh as you try and look for a team however you forgot that all these men were stuck up and sexist so they all turned you down even if they needed just one last player to make them a full team. âMotherfuckersââ You bump into a familiar man, the very one who was concerned for your well being yesterday. The impact made you wince and clutch your stomach, mumbling out a quick âsorryâ. âOh, miss! Itâs you. Are you okay did I hurt you?â He put a hand on your back and looked at you with concern in his eyesâ which then traveled down to your swollen belly. âPlease let me join your team, everyone keeps turning me away.â You begged, practically bowing to this man to help you. âOf courseâ please no need to bow Iâm glad to help you. Please donât strain yourself miss, Iâve got you.â He smiled sweetly and lead you to his groupâ of men.
âI thought youâd bring a manââ Player 390 started but cut himself off as you placed your hand on your stomach, pulling the âiâm pregnantâ card. âWhatever needs go be done to survive I guess.â Every single one of them looked down and nodded, welcoming you with warmth which was quiet unexpected.
The game luckily went wellâ at least for your team. The other one unfortunately got shot up while you were cheering in victory, bringing you back to the cruel reality you were living.
Player 456; Gi-hun as you learnt once you got back, instructed everyone to put their mattresses onto the ground and make a barrier in case anyone attacked tonight which seemed absurd but you didnât bother arguing since he did play before. However Young-il voiced his concerns aloud which only made you wince at the bad move.
âAbsurd? The moment the lights went out last time, everyone went for each other. People who you thought you could trust. Your most âloyalâ ally betrayed you without a second thought.â His voice was sharp, venom dripping from every word, and the room grew colder as his meaning sank in. Young-il smiled faintly, looking down a bit. âYouâre right,â he said smoothly. âI apologize for my ignorance. Who better to trust than someone whoâs already survived?â
The tension hung heavy in the air for a moment before Gi-hun turned away, giving out orders to the group. Everyone, even the skeptical ones, obeyed without question.
Player 388; Kang Dae-ho and 390; Jung-Bae gathered mattresses and set them down onto the floor while you were tasked to collect pillows and blankets. âSo you donât overexert yourself.â Gi-hun said to you a few minutes back, his light pat on your back a bit comforting but still awkward from the last interaction.
The atmosphere in the room was tense, everyone moving with purpose, glancing nervously at the darkened corners. Gi-hunâs warning echoed in your mind: People you thought you could trust.
Once again when the classical music woke everyone from their slumberâ a never ending routine youâve learned to hate, you knew what was about to happen. âThe next game..â
You all agreed on voting X, even Jung-bae who previously voted O and told yourselves youâd meet for dinner once everything in your lives was settled which excited your nerves. âI got this. For my baby, and my.. friends.â You thought to yourself as everyone chatted along themselves, you yourself stealing glances from Dae-ho, a reassuring smile exchange between the two of you.
That night while everyone was asleep, Dae-ho was keeping watch with Jung-bae. You noticed how the older man was starting to doze off so you decided to switch with him even after his constant reassurance that heâd be fine and that you needed the rest more than he did.
You sat in silence for a bit before you decided to strike up a conversation. âSo, what made you take me into your team?â You asked softly, looking up at the prize money in the see through pig. âYour life could be added to that pile any second.â A voice inside you kept repeating but you shook it off. âYou reminded me of my sisters. I knew I definitely wouldnât want them to be left stranded and definitely not hereâ plus in your state you could be exposed to any kind of danger and what kind of man would I be if I let a gorgeous lady like you get put into the arms of those assholes..â He stated simply, gesturing towards all the other men who were on the other side. You just nodded, his words kind and genuine.
You talked through almost the whole night, telling him how you ended up here and some personal things which hardly anyone knew about you while he shared things about his toxic household and his amazing older sisters before Gi-hun told you two to catch some sleep before the game that morning and so you did, giving Dae-ho one last glance before lying down on your mattress.
You made your way towards the game hall, your heart beating so fast you thought itâd explode any second. The room looked like a big circus tent, doors going all around the room with a big platform in the middle which reminded you of a carousel. Once the instructions were said, you all formed a strategy. âIf the number is bigger then 5 we will find the remaining amount of players. If itâs less then that we split. The most important thing is to stay calm, donât panic.â You repeated in your head everything that Gi-hun and Young-il said, placing your hand on the pile, taking a deep breath before muttering âVictory.â along with them.
The platform soon started spinning, a nursery rhyme on the speakers with bright lights shining in the middle of the platform.
âTen players.â
Everyome scathered around, yelling and pulling people into their group like wild animals before a group of people came to you. âWe have 4, how many of you are there?â Player 120 asked before getting pushed by a man with wide, psychotic eyes. âThereâs five of us, come with us.â However they got pulled away by yet another group.
â15 seconds.â
Player 120 rushed to a woman who looked like she was.. praying? Rushing to the nearest empty door. âRoom 40! The green one!â You yelled as you quickly got into the room before it locked itself. Your breathing was quick, sweat going down your forehead but relief washed over you. You were alive. The lady started screaming, something about how you were alive because of her and that you should be thanking her but you ignored her, going back out once the speaker told you to.
The next round was 3 people so you went with Dae-ho and Jung-bae while Young-il and Gi-hun went to find a player. Another round survived.
Six players was the most shattering part. Everything was going fine until the girl whoâs name was Young-mi was locked out by player 333. You couldnât watch the scene unfold so you looked down and covered your ears, a ache in your heart for player 120 who lost a dear friend.
The last was two players and you ran with Dae-ho to an empty room, pushing a few players aside to get an empty room. âThereâs 50 rooms and 126 players. 100 players will survive, the remaining wonât be as lucky.â Young-il explained before you all ran off once the platform stopped. A pain in your stomach stopped you deaf in your tracks, getting pushed to the ground by a guy who quickly went into the room with Dae-ho, however he got a punch to the face and got thrown out before he could close the door.
â10 seconds.â
Dae-ho rushed to you and picked you up, sprinting to the room and shutting it right as the lock clicked and shots fired, eliminating the 26 players just like Young-il had predicted. Your eyes watered with relief, getting onto your knees you bowed, choking out your gratitude to the man in front of you. He knelt down next to you, letting your head rest on his shoulder as he patted your head. âNo, no donât cry. I told you Iâd get us out of here didnât I? Weâre alive, all three of us.â He smiled, giving you one last squeeze before helping you up, wiping your tears and joining the rest of the group.
Dae-ho stayed beside you the whole time after the game, waiting for the pink soldiers to come and let us take a vote. Your hopes werenât high, it was pretty obvious since you sat there with slumped shoulders as everyone else after your vote continued to press the Oâs and Xâs.
âLast 6 votes.â Jung-bae shook Dae-ho with excitement which he returned twice as much. Your eyes began to shine with a little hope as the last two players came up to the voting area.
An X..
You could sense the tension, every single breath, the sound of teeth chattering.. one last vote.
An X.
51:50
You won? Youâ no that couldnât be? You won! You jumped into Dae-hoâs arms as everyone from your group started to celebrate. The money was enough for all of you now, it was perfect even! Gi-hun promised everyone to help with the money he previously won if something wasnât payed for or that they just needed help in general.
There were angry shouts which were quickly shut down with a gun shot to the roof.
âThe majority of the players have voted to terminate the games. Itâs quite a pity we must say goodbye to you like this, but the games are now over. Your belongings and money will all be returned and sent to your homes. Thank you for your participation.â
You finally felt the cold breeze of air as you were dumped out of the car, hitting your back hard against the pavement. Groaning, you struggled against the restraints on your wrists, wincing at the sharp pain shooting through your body. Just as panic began to settle in, you heard familiar voicesâvoices you thought youâd never hear again. Your friends. Relief washed over you as they rushed to your side, helping you up and breaking the binds that held you, and them captive.
Months passed since the horrors of the games, and life had taken a turn for the better. You moved in with Dae-ho after oficially getting together and deciding to start something fresh. Your apartment was close to almost everyone in your circle, making it easier to stay connected; which is why regular dinners became a tradition, a way to bond and leave the dark memories of the games behind. Slowly but surely, you all began to rebuild your lives, focusing on the present and the joy of simply being alive.
Not long after your release, your baby came into the worldâa healthy, beautiful girl, delivered without complications. The birth was celebrated joyously, marking a new chapter in your life. Gi-hun and Young-il eagerly accepted the roles of godfathers, while the kind old woman from the group became the grandmother. Everyone else quickly fell into place as loving uncles and aunts.
It wasnât a blood tied family, but the love was a stronger seal than anything else in the world.
Tonight, you were hosting a sort of âmeeting our daughterâ type thing at your home. Everyone was already there but you excused yourself to get a camera to take a few pictures when you noticed Dae-ho standing in front of the mirror. His brow was furrowed, a look youâve learnt to recognize after being together for a few months now. âDae?â you asked softly, stepping closer and wrapping your arms around his waist. âWhatâs on your mind, sweetheart?â
He hesitated, his gaze fixed on the mirror as he fidgeted with his shirt. âI just... Iâve been thinking. What if she doesnât like me when she grows older? Iâm not her real father, after all.â His voice faltered, the vulnerability clear in his tone. You turned him around gently, cupping his face in your hands as you looked into his eyes. âDae-ho,â you began, your voice steady and full of warmth, âshe doesnât need a ârealâ father. She needs you. Youâre the one whoâs been there for us, whoâs loved us and cared for us. Sheâs going to grow up knowing how amazing you are because of the love you show her every single day.â
His expression softened, his shoulders relaxing as he let out a shaky breath. âYou really think so?â You smiled, nodding. âI know so. She already adores you. She doesnât care about blood ties, Dae she only knows the man who makes her giggle and holds her when she cries. Thatâs what makes a real father.â
He pulled you into a tight embrace, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. âThank you,â he whispered.
The sound of your daughterâs laugh echoed from the living room, followed by Gi-hunâs exaggerated baby talk as he attempted to entertain her. You and Dae-ho shared a chuckle before heading out to join the others. That night, surrounded by your unconventional but deeply loving family, you realized just how far youâd come. The memories of the games still lingered, but they no longer held power over you. Your life was yours to live, and the bonds youâd formed in the aftermath were stronger than anything money or blood could ever buy.
In the warmth of your familyâs laughter and the comfort of Dae-hoâs hand in yours, you knew you had found your peace.
© URFAVLARRY
DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE OR COPY ANY OF MY WRITING TO OTHER PLATFORMS
I DONâT CONSENT FOR MY WRITING TO BE USED TO TRAIN AI đ«
#áŻâ
urfavlarry#kang dae ho#kang dae ho x reader#dae ho x reader#dae ho#dae ho squid game#dae ho fluff#kang dae ho fluff#squid game#squid game season 2#squid game x reader#squid game x you#squid game x y/n#squid game fanfic
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tyler owens who has the fattest crush on someone whoâs the complete opposite of him
poor girl is terrified of literally everything (me irl) and heâs just head over heels in love with her
come participate in tyler owens night !
--
"Baby," Tyler croons, eyes a mixture of pitiful and amused, "It's wind."
"And it's rain," You urge, standing firmly in the doorway and refusing to budge, "I'm not driving in a storm!"
"It's not a storm," He insists, "Baby, my truck can withstand EF-4s. There's no way a little rain's gonna shake us."
"But we could spin out," You reason, "Or someone else could, and they could hit us, or an EF-5 could strike, or-"
"Or the ground could open up, swallow us whole." Tyler lowers his head, gaze steady on you as the amusement-pity deepens.
"You're right." You nod, clearly missing his sarcasm, "It's safer at home. Let's stay."
"No, that's not- what I meant." Tyler grabs your bicep, and you're useless against his strength as he drags you out towards his truck, "Baby, a tornado could whip through the farm and blow you away anytime. But y'gotta live despite all that. Come out with me, I'll drive real slow and I'll stick to the main roads."
Tyler stops to give you a boost up to the seat of his truck, his strong hands framing your hips and raising you to the lifted vehicle, "Just get all cozied up in that blanket of yours, and we can listen to your music on the way there. Nothin' that I like, none of that rowdy country stuff. M'kay baby?"
You're still nervous about driving in the rain. Maybe you always will be, no matter how many times you do it unscathed. But Tyler's eyes are soft and sweet as melted chocolate, the same color, too, and they stare pleadingly up at you where he's watching you from the ground. Slowly you settle into the seat of his truck, reaching for the blanket he keeps in his glovebox for you, and click your seatbelt firmly into place.
"I'm gonna use the harness," You warn, and Tyler reaches up to help you fasten your seatbelt despite your complete ability to do it yourself, "No making fun of me."
"Never, baby," He promises, hands lingering at your lap far after the click of the seatbelt, "You do whatever makes 'ya feel safe, and I'll handle everything else. Just a nice, slow ride into town for some hot chocolate."
"Just get in already." You plead, but it's a pity to lose contact where his hand stops squeezing your thigh, "The longer you wait, the more time I have to run back inside and hide under the bed."
The truck rocks as Tyler gets in, shutting the door firmly and gripping the steering wheel more gently than when he's tornado wrangling, "It's alright, baby. You're safe with me. And I'll get you whipped cream and marshmallows on yours for bein' so brave."
"Even though they're extra?" You glance up at him with what Tyler's pretty sure are better puppy eyes than he's seen on any dog before.
"I'd pay for you to get gold flakes on top'uh yours, darlin'," He smiles, not a grin but a real, warm smile, and he leans in to nudge his nose beside yours, "No amount of money I wouldn't spend on you."
#tyler owens x reader#tyler owens fanfiction#tyler owens x you#tyler owens imagine#tyler owens blurb#tyler owens drabble#glen powell x reader#twisters fanfiction
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Ugly (Matching) Christmas Sweaters
âȘthe one where you and drew throw a christmas party, complete with matching sweaters, and as the night goes on, the two of you manage to sneak away from the madness to indulge in a private party of your own.
Warnings: swearing, fluff, smut, unprotected sex, dirty talk, semi-public sex ig, you and drew being that couple, it is never too late for a christmas fic, right?
Word Count: 2.5k
Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine âĄ
Ever since you and Drew got together, a whole three years ago, Christmas parties became a yearly thing.Â
Every December for the past two years, since you moved in together, your house was opened up to both yours and Drewâs family and friends, and you hosted a party to celebrate Christmas; one that included games, drinking, and music. This year was no exception.
Well, except for the fact that you made this yearâs party a little different. It was an ugly Christmas sweater party, with all the booze and games and music the last party had, but with the addition of showing up in a colorful, hideous sweater.Â
Of course, you and Drew were matching, with your sweater being bright red and his being bright green. On the back of yours, it read âStarkeyâ in big, white letters, and on the back of his, it read your last name in the same font, and you both were kinda obsessed with them, even if they made you both look like something straight out of a circus.Â
The best part was what it said on the front, though. On yours, it said, âIâm so nice, I made Santa come twiceâ, and on his, it simply read, âSantaâ.Â
Oh yeah, you were that couple.Â
The house was packed with both yours and Drewâs families and friends, with Christmas music softly playing from the TV speakers. The string lights you made him put up everywhere were making the rooms flash with a multitude of different colors, and almost everyone here was on their second drink as the stress of the upcoming holiday weighed down on their shoulders.Â
But Drew wasnât stressed at all as he leaned back against the wall beside the fireplace, careful to not set his sweater on fire as he sipped on a beer. Rudy was on the couch a few feet away, going on about something that happened this morning, and Drew was listening for the most part.Â
Then you walked into the living room, and his eyes landed on you almost immediately. You were talking to Madelyn, and Drew leaned more against the wall as he subtly watched you.Â
When you turned your head and looked at him, he smirked, no longer listening to Rudy as he crossed his arms and sipped his beer. You smiled back, lifting your hand up in a quick wave of your fingers as Madelyn went on about her inability to shop for Christmas without stressing herself into an early grave.Â
Your gaze was soft as you looked over at him, your eyes full of love and adoration as you blew him a couple kisses before turning back to Madelyn and giving her a hug before she walked away.Â
Drew let out a quiet laugh, feeling his heart swell a bit in his chest. You looked so cute. Your sweater looked ridiculously hot on you, and he knew heâd feel this way about you for the rest of his life.Â
When you looked over at him again, he subtly nodded towards the hallway that leads to the bedrooms, and he hoped you understood the silent invitation. He needed a break, even if it was a brief one, and he needed to be near you. He wanted to pull you into his arms and lose himself in your additive perfume and warm body, because this was his and your house, and he had barely seen you tonight.Â
You raised a brow, clearly getting the hint like he hoped you would, and you pressed your lips together as you tugged your sweater down a bit before making your way through the slightly crowded living room towards the hallway.Â
As soon as you disappeared down the hall, Drew stood up straight and followed after you, tossing his empty bottle into one of the recycling bins you placed around the house as he went. He found you leaning against the wall by the guest room, a teasing grin on your face as you looked over at him, and Drewâs eyes roamed over your figure as he stepped towards you.Â
âNeed a break from the madness too?â he asked, his voice low in the empty hallway as he moved closer and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you right up against his body. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, his lips brushing against your skin as one of his hands slid down to grope your ass, and he gave it a gentle squeeze. âI missed you.â
You laughed quietly, your hands finding home in his hair as you bit your lip. âYou missed me?â you questioned, gently massaging his scalp with your fingers as you leaned in and pressed your cheek against his shoulder. You closed your eyes as you inhaled his intoxicating scent, the one that was uniquely his, and the one you loved so much. âYou live with me, how could you possibly miss me?â
Drew laughed too, the deep sound vibrating against your cheek. âThatâs true, but you know I miss you all the time,â he murmured, his lips trailing kisses along your jawline as his hands roamed all over your body. âYouâre always on my mind, baby.â
âYeah?â you whispered softly as he touched you all over, and your fingers tightened in his hair as you leaned against him. âYouâre always on my mind too.â you said back, glancing to your left as the party continued on just down the hall.Â
Drewâs big hands found your backside again, and he pulled you against him a bit harder. âWe donât have to go back,â he said, his voice deep and dripping with invitation and temptation. âWe can have our own party, just the two of us.â
You leaned back against the wall, looking up at him with wide, unguarded eyes, and he held back a groan as he slipped his leg between yours, pushing them apart slightly as he ground his thigh against your core.Â
He kissed you deeply, his tongue sliding along the seam of your mouth before brushing against yours. He kissed you like a man starved, like heâd been deprived of you for way too long for his liking, and the soft sounds you were making against his lips only made him want you more. âTell me to stop and I will,â he muttered when he broke the kiss and pulled away, resting his forehead against yours.Â
You grinned, glancing down towards the end of the hallway again before looking up at him with a subtle smirk. âHas that word ever left my mouth when it comes to you?â you asked, taking his hands in yours as you tugged him further down the hall towards yours and his bedroom. âIf I ever say no to you, something is seriously wrong.â
Drew smirked as you pulled him along, and he kicked the bedroom door shut behind him once you both were inside, effectively drowning out any noise from the party. âGood to know,â he mumbled, his eyes dark with lust as he leaned down and lifted you up onto the edge of the bed. He stepped between your spread legs, his big hands gripping your hips as he pulled you even closer.Â
Leaning down, he pressed his lips to yours in a hungry kiss, his tongue slipping into your mouth as he ground his hips against yours. The rough denim of his jeans rubbed against your thin leggings, creating a delicious friction that had both of you moaning into each otherâs mouths.Â
âBaby,â you mumbled, your hands reaching up to grip his sweater. You fisted the green fabric tightly, the friction of his jean clad hips against yours making your head feel fuzzy. âWe need to be quick. Weâre hosting right now. Our house is literally full of peopleâŠand are we really about to fuck while wearing these fucking ugly sweaters?â
Drew laughed against your lips, his hands sliding under the red fabric that covered your top half to caress the warm skin of your back. âOh, Iâm not against taking off a few layers,â he murmured, his hands moving down to the waistline of your leggings. âBut if weâre in a hurry, maybe we should focus on the parts that matter the most.âÂ
He tugged the black material down your legs, along with your damp panties, and tossed them aside carelessly, his attention solely focused on you and the way you always responded to him. Drew leaned back slightly, taking in the sight of your bare lower half with needy eyes as he bit his lip.
âFuck, youâre so gorgeous,â he breathed, his voice thick with desire and lust as he ran his hands up and down your thighs.Â
A blush took over your face as you shifted higher up on the bed, already so turned on for him. âYouâre only saying that because Iâm wearing your name on my back,â you teased, running your toes up his denim covered thighs as your gaze lingered on the way his cock was straining against his jeans.Â
A smug grin took over his face as he glanced down at your sweater. âMaybe. But it doesnât change the fact that youâre the hottest thing Iâve ever seen,â he rasped, settling between your thighs as he began to pepper kisses along your collarbone and neck.Â
When you reached out and palmed him through his jeans, Drew groaned against your skin before he pulled down his zipper and freed his throbbing cock. He notched the tip against your entrance, teasing you with shallow thrusts as he leaned down to kiss you, and he reveled in the sweet sounds you were making for him.Â
He pulled back to look down at you as he slowly pushed into you, a low groan escaping his throat as he felt your tight walls clench around him. âYou always feel so damn good, baby,â he grunted, his voice strained a bit as he paused for a few seconds to let you adjust.Â
Then he started moving, setting a deep, relentless pace that had your back arching off the bed. You were so wet and warm, and he was so big and hard, the two of you fit so perfectly together. Nothing had ever felt better.Â
You were moaning loudly as one of his hands slid down to grope your ass, his fingers digging into your soft skin as he used his grip to guide your hips against his. âOh fuck,â you breathed out, your forehead pressed against his as he fucked into you. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he slid in and out of your wet warmth easily, his cock reaching deeper with every thrust. âFuck yes, Drew.â you whined, your fingers fisting his sweater tightly as you tried to keep your voice down a bit, unwilling to be louder than the Christmas music that was playing in the living room.
The bed was creaking softly, his deep, fast thrusts making your body slide further up the mattress. Drew wrapped his arm around you, holding you tightly against him as he dropped his head onto your shoulder. âGod, youâre so tight,â he grunted next to your ear, pulling out nearly all the way before burying himself back inside you. âFeel so good, baby.âÂ
His hands were everywhere, squeezing and kneading any part of you he could as he fucked you into the bed with increasing speed. You were getting louder, and Drew loved it, and while he didnât care if you and he were heard, he knew you did.Â
So he leaned down and kissed you deeply as he continued to rock in and out of you. You kissed him back just as desperately and messily, your tongue brushing against his as his hips hit yours over and over again.Â
âOh, my fucking God, Drew,â you moaned against his lips, releasing his shirt to reach up and pull on his hair as you arched your back even more and hiked your legs up higher around his waist. âSo goodâŠâ
He broke the kiss and trailed his lips down your neck, nipping and sucking at the skin peeking out from under your sweater that said his fucking last name on it, his hands gripping your hips tightly. âI know, baby,â he groaned, pressing his forehead against your shoulder again as he felt you clench tightly around him. âFuckâŠI know.â
Drew reached down and rubbed messy circles onto your clit, making your body shake a bit as you clung onto his hair. âOh fuck,â you gasped, your heels digging into his lower back as you squeezed your eyes shut. âDrewâŠâ
He grunted, sucking a mark onto the side of your neck as he let out heavy and harsh pants. âCum for me, baby,â he rasped, fucking into you harder as he rubbed your clit more firmly. âFucking cum for me.â
You cried out, your eyes rolling back as you clung onto him desperately. âDrewâŠoh fuck, fuck,â you moaned, tugging on his hair and making it a mess. âIâm gonna cumâŠbaby, fuck.â you whimpered, and a few seconds later you came hard around him.Â
âThatâs it, baby, cum for me,â he cooed, wrapping his arms around your body as he fucked into you a few more times before he was there too. With a deep grunt, he came deep inside of you, burying his face against the side of your neck to muffle his sounds as he filled you up.Â
He stilled then collapsed on top of you, cradling your trembling body against his own as he stayed buried inside of you. After a few more seconds of silence, the only sounds being your shared pants, Drew lifted his head and grinned at you.Â
âLook at us,â he mumbled as he looked down at where you and he were connected. âBest view in the house.â
His fingers stroked your cheek, his thumb running along the curve of your jawline as he slowly pulled out of you, a trail of white dripping out to coat your inner thighs. He rolled onto his side, pulling you close to him as he smoothed out your sweater.Â
âI love you, babe,â he whispered, pressing his cheek against the top of your head as his breathing finally evened out.Â
You sighed quietly, a content smile on your face as you snuggled against him. âI love you too,â you mumbled, nuzzling against his chest. âAnd you look really hot in an ugly Christmas sweater, by the way. One of your best looks by far.âÂ
Drew laughed, his chest vibrating against your ear. âWell thanks, baby. I think this might be the first time an ugly sweater has gotten me laid,â he said and you laughed as he ran his hands up and down your back. âWe should clean up and get back to the partyâŠright?â
You grinned and nodded, sitting up a bit as you felt his warmth that was still coating your thighs. âRight,â you agreed, but your voice wasnât convincing at all, much like his wasnât either. âAnd maybe, once they all leave, weâll see if I can live up to what it says on my shirt.â
#drew starkey#drew starkey smut#drew starkey x reader#drew starkey x you#drew starkey imagine#drew starkey x y/n#rafe imagine#rafe fanfiction#rafe x reader#rafe smut#rafe fluff#rafe cameron#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#rafe x reader smut#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron obx#outer banks x reader#outer banks imagine#outer banks smut
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Mine
Paring(s):Â Alpha!Dean Winchester x F!Omega!Reader
Summary: When Dean is forced to mark Y/N in order to not blow their cover on a case, it leads him to reveal a secret that he's been keeping since they met.
Square(s) Filled:Â biting for @anyfandomkinkbingo
Tags:Â 18+, true mates, smut, p in v, marking, a/b/o if that wasn't already obvious lmao, knotting
Word Count:Â 3.7k
A/N:Â Helloooo, it's been a minute. If I'm being honest, I have about 10-15 finished works just sitting in my "ready to post" folder, but posting is always such an ordeal, so they just stay there until I feel like dealing with Tumblr. But, this one I did write over the last two days after I finished reading Bride by Ali Hazelwood, which I loved so much that it made me want to dip my toes into the Omegaverse! That being said, I don't know how much in here is actually in line with A/B/O "rules", but I know I needed to twist some things to fit the story (e.g. in this specific A/B/O fic/universe, claiming marks will fade if they're not true mates). Huge thank you to my A/B/O girlies, @makeadealwithdean and @emoryhemsworth, for reading it over, I love you both to the moon and back! I hope you all enjoy!
You can also read me on Ao3!
DEAN WINCHESTER MASTERLISTÂ |Â Â SUPERNATURAL MASTERLISTÂ |Â Â MAIN MASTERLIST
âWe get in, find the knife, get out, got it?â Dean asks, looking between Sam in the front seat and Y/N in the back, making sure everyone is on the same page. They both nod once in understanding, before the three of them make their way out of the car, their doors slamming shut simultaneously.Â
Y/N stares up at the mansion before them, the music loud, the party raging. Itâs some charity event thrown by the wealthiest Alpha in the state, and he just happens to have the weapon they need to finish out this hunt. Y/N stumbles a bit, tripping over the cobblestone driveway in her heels, and she catches the sleeve of Deanâs suit to steady herself. He shoots her a glare that tells her to pull it together. They need to blend in.
âSorry,â she whispers.
âHere,â Dean replies, grabbing her wrist and pulling it through the crook formed by his bent elbow, forcing them to walk arm-in-arm.
âI donât need ââ
âYou are an Omega, Y/N. And there are upwards of a hundred Alphas here who can all smell it. So what you need to do is start acting like one. Just because Iâm not some asshole Alpha who demands your respect doesnât mean they arenât, and we canât risk drawing attention to ourselves.â
Y/N takes a deep breath and plasters on a fake smile as they move slowly up the driveway. âAnyone who demands my respect just because of some bullshit biological hierarchy doesnât deserve it,â she grits out.
Dean stops, turning to face her, one of his hands on either side of her biceps. âDo you want to be on this case or not?âÂ
His voice is lower than usual, demanding and gruff. A voice he only uses when he wants to remind her that he is an Alpha, and bullshit biological hierarchy aside, her body is wired to listen to him.Â
She gulps, and he tries not to focus on the bob in her throat, the pulse in her neck near her gland, the scent of her. The moment he met her he knew who she was, what they were. Are. Heâs been taking scent blockers since before he met her, finding it far easier to interact with other Alphas when investigating cases if they couldnât scent him out, but the moment he met her, he knew he had to start taking rut blockers too. Though, it feels like the longer heâs around her, the more immune he becomes to the pills. Like sheâs going to send him into a rut any fucking second, and she has no idea. Heâs thought about telling her so many times, but mates come with strings. Strings that arenât conducive to the life of a hunter.
âYes,â she answers his question meekly, almost submissively, and he nods to cover the hormones he forces himself to swallow down. Rejecting your biology is not easy, no matter how many pills you take.
âThen Iâm going to need you to take my arm, put on a smile, and act like being an Omega is the greatest joy of your life. That means ââ
âI know how to be a good little Omega, Dean,â she interrupts, dragging the words âgood little Omegaâ through a sarcastic tone.
He tenses slightly at her words, sarcastic or not. Good little Omega.
âIâm only bad for you,â she continues with a cheeky wink, and fuck, he might explode. Hell, he might take her into the bushes right now and mark her, claim her, before parading her around in front of this entire fucking party with his teeth marks on her neck. Heâs rigid, trying to keep himself under control, and she gives him a playful pat on his shoulder. âLighten up, Alpha,â she teases. âIâll be a good girl.â
Jesus fucking Christ. He gives her biceps a squeeze that he hopes comes off as reassuring as heâs trying to make it seem, before linking his arm with hers once more and catching up to Sam at the front of the driveway.
The trio is greeted by the owner of the mansion himself, one Jim Myers, who welcomes them in with a smile on his face and a cigar in his hand.Â
âHow Gatsby-esque,â Y/N mutters under her breath, watching as Myers shakes Samâs hand.
Dean nods in agreement. âYou definitely wore the right outfit.â
Y/N blushes as she looks down at her dress; a black, semi body-hugging cocktail dress bedazzled with gold sequins in some sort of art deco pattern. All sheâs missing is a cigarette holder and a feather in her hair.Â
âOnly because I read the invitation. Unlike some of us,â she mumbles in reply.
âWatch it, Omega,â Dean grits out, plastering on a smile as soon as Myers comes over to greet him.
âJim Myers, pleasure,â he says, shaking Deanâs hand.
âDean. And this is Y/N.â
She keeps the cordial smile on her face as Jim takes her hand and brings it to his lips, kissing it gently before inhaling her scent.Â
âPleasure, Miss Y/N,â he says with a feral grin, his eyes darkening with unmistakable lust as he lets her hand fall back to her side.Â
Dean takes a step forward, unable to stop himself. âMine,â he practically growls, and Jim takes a step back, throwing his hands up in surrender.Â
âMy apologies. I didnât see a mark, so I just assumed.â
Dean falters, clearing his throat, suddenly reminded of the reason theyâre all here in the first place. âNo, thatâs alright. Itâs my fault for not putting it in a visible place.â His eyes dart over to Y/Nâs. âI think Iâm gonna fix that.â
She ducks her head but canât hide the red flush that creeps up into her cheeks, reminding herself that itâs just her biology, and that this is all for show anyway. Theyâre here to do a job, and sometimes those jobs involve⊠well, whatever the hell just happened. And clearly, Dean is a better actor than she gives him credit for.
Jim chuckles, clasping his hands together. âWell, you three have fun, the drinks are free, the food is good, and if you,â he points at Sam, âgood sir, are in search of an Omega, there are plenty to choose from.â
Sam blushes. âRight.â He nods. âThanks.â
And with that, Jim disappears into the crowd.
âIâll keep an eye on him,â Sam says. âYou two go. Upstairs, down the hall, third door on the right. If I got the right blueprints.â
âIf you got the right blueprints?â Dean asks.
âJust go.â He taps his ear to indicate that heâll drop in on Deanâs earpiece if anything goes wrong.Â
Dean sighs, taking Y/N by the hand and leading her up the stairs. He weaves in and out of the crowd, the scents of everyone mixing together, making it impossible to decipher who is what. Y/Nâs never been more glad to be on heat suppressors; knowing full well the scents of this many Alphas invading her nostrils would send her body into a major one.
Dean quickly finds the door, and they slip into the room unnoticed, closing the barrier and switching on the light. Itâs a bedroom â the master, from the looks of it â and the knife is right in front of them in the middle of the room, across from the foot of the bed. Itâs in a glass case, on display, and likely armed with a million alarms, but right in front of them nonetheless.Â
âSon of a bitch,â Dean mutters, running a hand through his hair as he thinks about what the next move should be.
âWe could find something that weighs the same? Lift the glass and replace it super fast?â Y/N offers.
âUnfortunately, I think itâs the glass thatâs probably set to trip an alarm. But the fact that youâre applying Indiana Jones to real life scenarios is making me want to ââÂ
He stops himself, realizing what he was about to say. He needs to get himself under control but Y/N in that dress with her smart fucking mouth, with other Alphas eyeing her, he really shouldnât be here, with her, alone, and â
âMaking you want to what?â she asks.
Shit. âMaking me want to⊠make you watch more of them,â he replies, opting to circle the display case, searching it for a way in to distract himself from her.Â
âOh, goody. Canât wait.â Sheâs as monotone and sarcastic as ever, and every time something smart comes out of her mouth he has to resist the urge to bend her over and fuck her right then.
âGet out of there now,â Samâs voice comes in on Deanâs earpiece. âLost track of him for a few seconds, just found him again. Heâs making his way upstairs.â
âShit,â Dean says. âShit, shit, shit.â He looks around the room frantically. If they go out the door, Myers will without a doubt see them leaving his room. âMyers is coming,â he explains to a confused-looking Y/N.
âFucking â God dammit.â She looks around too, for a hiding spot, for a weapon, and then she spots herself in the mirror hanging on the wall and an idea comes to her. âMark me,â she orders.
âWhat?â Dean snaps, his attention fully on her.
âGet over here and mark me. You told him you were going to make it visible.â She continues before Dean can protest. âWho knows if itâll even stay, itâs not like weâre mates, right? And if it does, I donât mind being bound to you for the rest of ever. Itâs not like Iâm having much luck in the relationship department anyway. But we need that knife, and weâre not going to get it if we donât ââ
âFuck,â he says under his breath with a quick shake of his head, before he strides across the room and pushes her up against the wall just in time to hear the door click. He inhales her scent, his mouth trailing from the base of her jaw all the way down to her mating gland where it hovers as the door opens all the way. Then he bites down.
Y/N throws her head back, her fingers digging into Deanâs shoulders as his teeth sink into her, and none of it is for show. The pain is euphoric, and her senses heighten, and she suddenly wishes she hadnât been so stringent on taking her fucking pills, because whatever this feeling is, coursing through her veins, settling in her core, she needs to feel it more. She canât stand how dulled it is, how it just stays there, simmering underneath the surface. She wants to erupt.Â
âMm, fuck, Alpha!â she cries out, no trace of sarcasm in her voice, and Deanâs hands grip her hips tight enough to bruise them.Â
âOh, Iâm so sorry!â Jim exclaims. âGot an alert that someone was in here, thereâs some very valuable things in here, you see, and I just wanted to make sure ââ
Dean pulls away from her neck long enough to shoot him a glare that translates to âget out or Iâm going to kill youâ, and Jim gets the message, backing out the door and shutting it behind him.Â
âFuck,â Dean breathes, letting his forehead fall to Y/Nâs shoulder. He shouldnât be so close to her. He should back away, give himself some space to breathe. But her scent keeps him rooted in place. Itâs her usual scent; something like freshly baked sugar cookies and vanilla, sweet and enticing, but thereâs something else, something â
âAre you guys okay?â Samâs voice in his damn ear again.
Dean lifts his head and presses the button on his earpiece to reply. âFine, Sam. Give us a second.â Then he takes the earpiece out and tosses it over his shoulder, more agitated than he should be at his brother just trying to check in.
âDean,â she breathes, and she sounds absolutely wrecked. She brings her hands to his cheeks, forcing him to look at her. âAre you okay?âÂ
He nods. Her touch is like fire on his skin. He needs her.Â
Y/N squeezes her thighs together. Sheâs never been able to scent Dean before, but heâs never been this close for this long. Heâs never marked her, either. Right now his scent is breaking through the suppressants, little by little. Itâs bits of cedar and leather and whiskey, and sheâs never smelt anything like it, yet it is so familiar somehow. It invades her senses, and if this is what he smells like with suppressants, sheâs terrified of what would happen without them.
âDean⊠your scent.â She closes her eyes and inhales deeply.
âFuck, my pills mustâve worn off, I ââ
She shakes her head. âItâs dulled but⊠but itâs there.â Her thighs clench together again, and she needs him back on her skin. âItâs there and itâs so fucking good.â
Deanâs eyes fall to the gland on her neck, and the severity of what heâs done comes crashing into him like a wrecking ball. Itâs enough to force him to take a step away from her, panic rising in his chest. âI â fuck. I marked you. I fucking marked you.â
Y/Nâs fingers come up to graze the indent on her neck, and she shudders at the touch. âI told you to.â
âNo, you donât understand, Y/N ââ
âI know what happens when mates get marked, Dean,â she interrupts matter-of-factly. âIâm sure thisâll fade.â
âIt wonât. I â I shouldnât have done that. Fuck. Fuck!â He turns to the wall next to him, hitting it with the side of his closed fist.Â
âDean.â Her touch on his arm is gentle and comforting, but he doesnât turn to face her. âYou need to calm down. Itâs really not a big deal, I ââ
Dean takes a deep breath, both hands on the wall now as he collects himself. He canât even bring himself to look at her when he says, âYouâre my mate, Y/N.â
She takes a step back, and her fading scent is what makes him finally face her. Sheâs halfway across the room by the time he does.Â
âW-what do you mean?â
âYouâre my mate, Y/N,â he repeats.
She shakes her head, her hand coming to her neck again, the teeth marks seared into her skin. âN-no. H-how? When? How â how long have you known?â
Dean takes another long, deep breath. He could lose her tonight. She could run and never come back and he wouldnât blame her. âSince we met.â
âTHREE YEARS!?â she roars. âYOUâVE KNOWN FOR THREE FUCKING YEARS!?â
âY/N, I ââ
She stalks toward him, one finger outstretched, one fist clenched by her side. She points at him as she backs him into a wall, and heâs incredibly turned on and incredibly scared at the same time.Â
âYouâve known that weâre fucking mates for three years, and you didnât feel as though that was pertinent fucking information to tell me!?â
Dean swallows. âI â itâs â there are⊠strings with mates. You know that. I didnât want to ball and chain you. I didnât want to keep you anywhere you didnât want to be. And if â fuck â weâre hunters, Y/N. If something had happened to me, and you knew⊠I didnât want you to have to live with that. With the pain that comes with losing a true mate.â
Y/N stops half a foot away and drops her accusatory finger. âWhat did you say?â she whispers.
âTrue⊠mates,â Dean breathes.
âWeâreâŠ? But⊠We never â I donât ââ
âWith me on my pills, and you on your pills, I think it was enough to⊠so we just neverâŠâ
âBut you knew,â she says, closing the gap between them, her hand coming up to caress his cheek. âYou knew for so long and you watched me go on dates, had to listen about the⊠things I did with other Alphas⊠if I had mated with one of them, you ââ
âYou deserved to have a choice. Regardless of what I wanted, you deserved to have a choice.âÂ
âMy choice couldâve left you depressed and alone and celibate forever, you fucking dumbass.âÂ
He shrugs, and her hand falls to rest over his heart. She stares at it as she continues.
âWhen you⊠marked me⊠I felt⊠I donât know what I felt. Nothingâs ever been so intense.â
She looks up at him through her eyelashes, and he smiles softly.
âThatâs the bond,â he explains, his large palm coming to rest over the hand on his chest.Â
âAnd if we werenât on⊠our blockers?â
âIf we werenât on our blockers, thereâs no fucking telling how many pups weâd have running around by now.â
Y/N shivers as the thought of being bred settles in her core, and for once sheâs not cursing her biology. Dean chuckles faintly at her reaction, dropping his forehead to hers.Â
âWe can practice in the meantime. Until you decide you want off of them.â
She inhales deeply, taking in as much of his scent as she can. âOh, I ââ another deep breath, âIâm getting off of them for sure.â
Dean lets out a borderline animalistic growl, thinking about how many times heâll get to fuck her through that first heat. âIâm gonna stop taking my pills, too,â he says breathily.
âYeah?â
âI had to get on rut blockers when you moved into the Bunker because I knew I wouldnât be able to control myself. But now,â he says, spinning them both around and pinning Y/N against the wall, ânow I donât fuckinâ have to.â
âDean,â she half gasps, half moans. He kisses the mark on her neck before licking all the way up to her jaw line and pulling back.Â
âYou drive me fuckinâ crazy, Omega.â
She meets his feral gaze with one of her own, a glint of mischief in her eyes. âProve it.âÂ
And it might be an incredibly stupid thing to say to a horny Alpha, but itâs also Dean. And heâd never hurt her.
âMm, fuck.â His voice is raspy and wrecked and they havenât even done anything yet. Before Y/N can process whatâs happening, heâs picking her up and throwing her onto the bed. He climbs over her, hovering for a moment, taking in her flushed cheeks, the warmth radiating off of her, her scent. âYouâre beautiful,â he states plainly, like itâs the one fact in the world that he knows without a doubt to be true.Â
Y/N blushes. âThank you, Alpha.â She says it because she knows what it does to him.Â
âYouâre beautiful, and Iâm gonna fuckinâ ruin you.âÂ
A gasp leaves her lips as he pushes her dress up her hips and moves down her body to the foot of the mattress, his fingertips dancing along the hem of her panties before his eyes meet with hers. She gives him a nod, and itâs all the confirmation he needs before pulling them down her legs and tossing them aside.Â
He watches hungrily as she spreads her thighs, her core damn near dripping with her wetness, and if this is what itâs like when sheâs on heat blockers, he canât even begin to imagine what itâll look like covered in her slick. His cock grows hard in his slacks at the thought, and he has to step off the bed to take off his pants and boxers before the containment grows painful. He shrugs off his suit jacket and white dress shirt too, and when heâs standing in front of the bed, fully naked, Y/N is propping herself up on her elbows to take him in.
âHoly â fuck,â is all she can get out.Â
Dean chuckles deeply, one knee coming up onto the mattress as he fists his cock. âFuck, sweetheart.â He looks her over again, pussy glistening, nipples peaked through her dress. âFuck, I want you to â would you present for me?â
A smirk spreads across her lips, but she doesnât say anything before flipping over and assuming the position. Ass up, legs shoulder width apart, chest resting on the mattress.Â
Dean lets out a low and guttural, âFuuuuck,â and itâs enough to make her pussy clench around nothing. She feels the mattress dip behind her, and when his cock starts to move through her folds, she almost cums right then and there.Â
âI know you you wish you werenât an Omega,â he starts, âbut youâre a fuckinâ perfect one, baby.âÂ
She shakes her head, soft whimpers escaping her as he continues to tease her with his dick. âIâm glad Iâm an Omega, because Iâm yours.âÂ
With that, Dean loses what little self control he has left. He lines himself up with her entrance and sinks into her heat, and she feels so fucking perfect, the way she molds around his cock. The noises leaving her throat spur him on as he thrusts into her, setting a bruising pace. He wraps his hand around her shoulder for leverage, his other gripping her ass.
âOh my fuck!â she practically screams, and he can feel how close she is, can smell it.Â
âYouâre gonna be a good little Omega and cum for me, arenât you baby?â he pants, and he couldnât be thrusting deeper if he tried.
She nods frantically. âYesyesyes, please, Alpha, I wanna to cum. I wanna â mm, fuck â on your ââ
Sheâs too fucked out to even finish her sentence, and Dean can feel himself about to fall over the edge. âWhatâs that, sweetheart? Speak up.â
âI wanna cum â oh, God! â on your knot. Fucking fill me up, Dean, please.â
He barely manages another thrust before he buries himself to the hilt, the base of his cock swelling inside her as he pumps her full of his seed.
The feeling of him filling her sends her over the edge, her pussy clenching around his cock, his knot, and she feels so full and fucked and sated.
âOh my fucking fuuuuck,â he groans, feeling her pulse around him. âFuck, everyone and this fuckinâ party is gonna be able to smell me inside of you.â
She moans at his words.
âGonna have me dripping down your thighs âtil we get back home.â His hand squeezes the globe of her ass before he leans over, getting as close to her ear as he can. âAnd then Iâm gonna fuck you again. And again. And again. Because we got three years to make up for.â He nips at her ear playfully. âAnd now youâre finally mine.â
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