#her mentality sometimes can be quite young

[fatedprincess]

who are you in this haunted house story ?

The Youngest

They talk down to you, as though you couldn’t possibly understand. They speak down to you in a language consisting only of simple, happy concepts, unaware that you hear their whispered conversations in the dark. Funnily enough, they don’t know how much they miss, that the many voices that call to you from elsewhere are standing right in front of them. They don’t see, but you do. You will make these overlooked souls into friends and they will soak up the loneliness that has seeped into your world. You miss when it was easy to spend time with those you love, when it was a given, as sure as the sun rising in the morning. But still, they think you don’t understand. How can they think that when you love them so? And after all, love is just understanding.

tagging : @ochazos , @foucoeur , @pansmaki , @icyexecutioner + you !

[fatuismooches]

What are some habits that reader picks up from the Harbingers? Like what stuff do they begin to copy after being with them for so long :)

Imagine the Harbingers noticing that you picked up some of their quirks and habits.

Pierro notices how you start to stay up until abysmal hours of the night to complete whatever you have to. He does not approve of this at all and tries to get you to stop, even going as far as to have agents try to escort you to the bedroom. But there’s not much he can do when you say he does the exact same thing, and you won’t stop unless he goes to bed at the same time as you. So, Pierro has made somewhat of a compromise with you - the two of you work in the same office now. As much as he loves it, it is a bit of a distraction when you get bored with your work, and saunter over to him to drape your arms around him.

Capitano notices how you pick up his leadership skills. He is a well-respected Harbinger whom many look up to, and well, you’re just kind of there. You’re just his little lovely partner that the Fatui bow their heads to out of respect for your husband. After all, you’re nothing really special compared to Capitano’s exceptionality. But, The Captain is an observant man, and he does not fail to see your new quirks, that is suspiciously similar to his. The way you go around to the camps and just casually chat with the soldiers, always greeting them with a pleasant smile and story - it seems to greatly boost morale. Now, they’re bowing their heads out of respect for you.

Dottore notices how you copy the way he walks. Your hands are crossed professionally behind your back, a self-assured smirk present on your face. Your voice starts to build up with confidence and punctuated remarks. Your strides slowly start to become more confident and your quick wit starts to bring an impressed, maniacal grin to his face. He finds the way you copy him in this manner rather endearing - the idea of you being a mini him is quite entertaining to him. Dottore enjoys the possibility of people viewing you to be just as terrifying as him a great amount, so he definitely encourages it.

Columbina notices how you start to hum like her. Your voice pales in comparison to the lovely melody of hers, yet the way it comes so naturally to Columbina makes you want to try it as well. You don’t do it around her, of course, since you are far too embarrassed to ever show her. But it all goes out the window as she is adept at sneaking up on you, literally hovering over your shoulder as you have no idea she’s there. She hasn’t told you that she knows yet, she believes that if you know, you’ll stop, and she doesn’t want that to happen. If only you could do it around her someday, the crooning of your voice would surely send her into a deep sleep.

Arlecchino notices how you start to pick up on her poker face. She is a bit surprised at first when someone cracks a joke at you yet you just stare at them. At first, she thinks you’re maybe having a bad day, but you’re back to smiling quickly. When you explain to her you’ve been practicing her facial technique, she lets out a small chuckle. Secretly, she worries a bit - she doesn’t want to be the cause of somehow depleting your emotions. But you reassure her of course, in fact, the skill of keeping a straight face is quite useful, especially in situations where you’re trying your best not to burst out laughing.

Pulcinella (platonic!) notices how you start to copy some of his positive mentality. Your young age has cast a negative outlook on the world, rolling your eyes and scoffing at many things. His old age has allowed him to see everything - the good and the bad - making him have the aptitude to hold both happiness and sadness for the world. Pulcinella has seen many people like you, and always strives to change their point of view. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. So when you start to become even the slightest more optimistic, copying word for word his advice and sharing it with others, he couldn’t be prouder of you. 

Scaramouche notices how you pick up his rude and snide comments. It’s not quite as frequent as he does it, but when you throw in a sarcastic remark or two, he can’t help but smirk and even laugh at the other person. Often times he joins in if the other person tries to snap back; his sharp tongue won’t anything hold back as he tells it how it is. He loves it - he’s the kind of person who roots for you in the background as you completely demolish someone, even if they don’t deserve it. He always thought you needed to bite back at people more instead of letting them walk all over you, so this is perfect for him.

Sandrone notices how to start to fix up stuff around her laboratory. She and her robots tend to keep the area tidy to avoid any accidents, especially after you entered the picture. Sandrone is a neat person in general and likes to keep her space organized, so you can often see her on her robot, dusting the higher-up places. You know she is a busy person, so you’d rather not see her spend her time cleaning. So you decided to take up the chore yourself. Certainly, your lover did not expect to see you nearly breaking your back to reach the lights, but she is definitely grateful and touched. She may or may not be flustered if you decide to wear an outfit fit for the task.

La Signora notices how you copy her fashion sense. You were never one to care much about fashion - you were rather a simple person who preferred simple clothes. But, it seems Signora, being the glamorous lady she is, has inspired you to put some more effort into your appearance. Surely, wearing some jewelry wouldn’t hurt, right? Adding some bling and extra lace here would look good too, maybe. Of course, Signora absolutely adores it - she has an entire wardrobe planned out and organized for you, filled with gorgeous and designer outfits that she even tailored to your tastes. She takes great pride in her appearance and would be happy to help you feel the same way.

Pantalone notices how you start to get more greedy of him. It is no surprise to anyone how possessive he is of his belongings, and that greed extends to you as well. He loves to be around you, and he loves it when others see you with him, at balls, parties, outings, everything - it’s silently saying that you are his. But when you start showing that same energy? He is so whipped and entranced. The way you protectively latch onto his arm and make direct eye contact with others, fighting the urge to stick out your tongue? Pantalone finds it so cute and even amusing; do you really think that he’d be interested in anyone besides you? His most prized treasure?

Childe notices how you start to become more motivated and determined to accomplish your goals. It is not a secret to anyone how dedicated he is to becoming stronger, as he has no shame in pursuing strong opponents relentlessly. His steadfast nature can’t help but have you inspired and energetic to follow your own dreams. Of course, Childe is wholly ecstatic and excited for you - he goes all in with the support! He’s rather glad that you are taking matters into your own hands, and that he was able to inspire that change. If your goal is to improve your battle prowess too, well, Childe would be a great supporter and helper for that. 

[cheynovak]

Echoes and Shadows

Soldier Boy x F/Reader Y/N           

Warnings:  Fights, gunshots, mentioning of child abuse, ... 

Side note: English isn’t my first language    

Words:  3800 

Cursive are memories

*Does not follow the boys storyline * 

--    

Autumn of 1950, Soldier Boy, the embodiment of rugged heroism and Vought-American's premier supe, was summoned to a high-rise office overlooking New York City. The meeting was brief, direct, and left a bitter taste in his mouth.  

His new assignment: train a young girl named Y/N, a fresh supe with a "girl next door" persona. To Soldier Boy, it felt like a waste of time. Why did he had to train her, there had to be other tasks for the world’s greatest hero!  

When they first met, Y/N stood in stark contrast to the grizzled Soldier Boy. She had an optimistic gleam in her eyes and a smile that seemed permanently etched on her face. She was eager to learn, but Soldier Boy couldn’t stand her naivety.  

“Listen up, kid,” he grumbled during their first training session. “Being a supe isn’t about smiles and handshakes. It’s about getting the job done. And sometimes, it gets messy. I don’t think you can handle that."  

Y/N shook her head, determination shining in her eyes. “I can handle it. I want to help people, no matter what it takes.” Soldier Boy sneered. “We’ll see about that.” He was relentless in his training.  

Every day, he pushed her to her limits, both physically and mentally. Gruelling obstacle courses, intense combat drills, and brutal sparring sessions became her new routine. Whenever she stumbled, he was there with a cutting remark.  

“Come on, sweetheart, is that the best you’ve got?” he’d taunt. “Real heroes don’t get tired. Real heroes don’t complain.” Despite his harshness, Y/N refused to give up. She endured his gruelling regimen with a quiet resilience that began to chip away at Soldier Boy’s disdain. 

She didn’t just want to be a hero; she wanted to prove herself, and her perseverance was impossible to ignore. One day, during a particularly brutal training exercise, Soldier Boy pushed her to the edge.  

She was exhausted, her body bruised and battered, but she stood her ground. “Why do you keep doing this?” he demanded, his voice a mix of frustration and curiosity. “Why don’t you just quit? You’re too soft for this job.”  

Y/N met his gaze, her eyes unwavering. “Because I believe in doing the right thing. Because I believe in helping people, no matter how hard it gets. And because I know I can be a hero, even if you don’t believe it.” He rolled his eyes "Sure sweetheart."  

Months passed, and Y/N grew stronger, more skilled, and more confident, and as her confidence grew so did her abilities. Y/N seemed to be able to put up a defence barrier, holding back bullets, if she concentrated good enough, she could even use it as an extra force to her punches. Besides that, she healed quick and what time would tell, didn’t age. 

She always kept that kindness in her eyes, but it was now tempered with a steely resolve. She had become everything Soldier Boy had initially doubted she could be. One evening, after a particularly grueling session, Soldier Boy handed Y/N a cold beer.  

It was a small gesture, but it spoke volumes. She stared at it for a moment, hesitating. "I'm only 18," she said softly, a flicker of doubt crossing her face. Soldier Boy scoffed, rolling his eyes.  

"Stop being such an uptight bitch all the time. It's just a beer." Y/N took the bottle reluctantly, the cool glass against her palm feeling unfamiliar and slightly intimidating. She hesitated, then took a small sip.  

The bitterness of the beer mirrored the bitter moments she had faced during training, the relentless drills, and Soldier Boy’s cutting remarks. They sat in silence for a while, the city’s night sounds filtering in through the open window.  

Y/N glanced at Soldier Boy, trying to decipher the man behind the harsh exterior. “Why did you agree to train me?” she asked quietly. Soldier Boy took a long swig from his own bottle before answering.  

“Didn’t have much of a choice. Vought’s orders.” He paused, his gaze distant. “But you’re not as hopeless as I thought." Y/N felt a small swell of pride at his words. Coming from Soldier Boy, it was high praise indeed.  

She took another sip, the beer tasting a little less bitter now. “Thanks,” she said with a little smile, proud of the first compliment her childhood hero gave her. Soldier Boy grunted in response. 

Present day 

Y/N had left the noise and chaos of the city far behind, finding solace in the peaceful rhythm of farm life. The fields stretched out in a patchwork of greens and browns, and the farmhouse, with its weathered wood and creaking floors, stood as a testament to a simpler, quieter existence.  

She was tending to her garden when she saw them approaching: a group of men, rough around the edges and clearly out of place in the tranquil countryside. Her guard went up immediately.  

Butcher, with his perpetual scowl, led the way, his intense gaze locking onto her. Hughie followed, looking slightly out of his element but determined. Frenchie and Kimiko were close behind, each with their own brand of intensity.  

But it was M.M., standing a bit apart from the rest, who caught her attention. There was a steadiness in his eyes, a calm that seemed at odds with the chaos that surrounded the group.  

Y/N straightened up, wiping her hands on her apron as they came to a stop in front of her. "What do you want?" she asked, her voice cold and wary. Butcher stepped forward, but M.M. gently placed a hand on his shoulder, signalling him to let M.M. handle it.  

Butcher hesitated, then nodded, stepping back with a reluctant grunt. “Miss Y/N, my name is MM, I, no we, need your help. Taking down Homelander.” Y/N crossed her arms, her eyes narrowing. "And why would I help you? I retired to the countryside for peace. "  

M.M. nodded, as if he understood. "I get it. Believe me, I do. But this isn’t just about revenge or taking down supes for the sake of it. We found out about a weapon, something that could kill Soldier Boy. If it can kill him, it can kill Homelander. And... it could probably kill you too. I presume you want to keep living?" 

She flinched at that, the reality of her vulnerability striking a chord she didn’t want to acknowledge. "Why should I trust you?" she asked, her voice softer but still laced with suspicion. "Because we’re trying to do the right thing," M.M. said simply.  

"We’re trying to protect people. And I think, deep down, that’s what you’ve always wanted to do too. You’ve got no reason to trust us, but we don’t have any reason to lie to you either. We need your help to find this weapon. If it exists, it’s our best shot at stopping Homelander. And if we don’t, a lot of innocent people are going to die."  

There was a long silence as Y/N weighed his words. She glanced at the other members of The Boys, reading the desperation and determination etched into their faces. Finally, she looked back at M.M., seeing in him a glimmer of the same hope and resolve that had once driven her.  

"Alright," she said at last, her voice steady. "I’ll help you. But only because I believe someone needs to stop Homelander. And if you’re lying to me, I’ll make sure you regret it." M.M. smiled, a genuine warmth in his expression.  

"Fair enough. We’re grateful for your help, Y/N." As they began to discuss their plan, Y/N couldn’t help but feel a pang of nostalgia. She had tried to leave her past behind, but it seemed the fight for justice had found her once again. And this time, she was determined to see it through to the end. 

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting long shadows over the farm, Y/N found herself alone for a moment, she agreed they could stay at her place for the night. She leaned against the porch railing, enjoying the cool breeze.  

Her mind wandered back to her time as a supe, a life that seemed so distant now. Hughie approached hesitantly, his hands stuffed in his pockets. He had a look of curiosity mixed with apprehension.  

"Hey," he started, a bit awkwardly. "Mind if I ask you something?" Y/N glanced at him, her guard momentarily lowered. "Sure, go ahead." Hughie shifted his weight from one foot to the other, looking around the porch.  

"I noticed there aren’t many pictures of you. Almost none, actually. W-why is that?" She laughed, a sound tinged with both amusement and bitterness. "Vought made sure the world would forget about me," she explained.  

"When I left, they erased almost every trace of my existence. Photos, records, everything. They didn’t want anyone to remember a supe who walked away from it all." Hughie nodded, taking in her words. "That's... harsh. But I guess I shouldn't be surprised, considering Vought."  

Y/N sighed, her eyes distant. "Yeah, that's Vought. Controlling the narrative, always." There was a pause, then Hughie asked another question that had been on his mind. "What was Soldier Boy like?" Y/N's expression softened, a mix of nostalgia and sadness crossing her face.  

"He was... complicated. A real hard-ass, tough as nails, and absolutely relentless. He could be a real jerk, too, always pushing people to their limits, addict... you name it.” A little pause, she added more a reminder to herself than to him, “But underneath all that, he was just... human."  

Hughie listened intently, sensing there was more to the story. "Did you ever get along with him?" She smiled faintly. "Eventually, yes. It took a while." Hughie looked thoughtful. "Do you think he would have been able to help us with Homelander, if he was still around?"  

Y/N shrugged, a hint of sadness in her eyes. "It's hard to say. Soldier Boy was powerful, but he had his own flaws and demons. He might have helped, or he might have made things worse. We'll never know." 

The next day they left for Russia 

The private plane hummed steadily as it cut through the night sky, its cabin dimly lit. The Boys were scattered around, each lost in their thoughts or quietly discussing their plan. Y/N sat by a window, staring out into the inky blackness. 

Butcher had a lead on the weapon that supposedly killed Soldier Boy, and they were heading to Russia to find it. As the drone of the engines filled her ears, Y/N felt herself slipping into a memory, a flashback to a mission that had happened decades ago in Russia, during her time with Soldier Boy.  

-- 

The mission was critical, a high-stakes operation deep in enemy territory. Y/N and Soldier Boy were tasked with infiltrating a heavily fortified facility to retrieve vital intelligence. The plan was simple: she would create a distraction as he got the job done.  

They had worked out the details meticulously, but plans rarely survived first contact with the enemy. Y/N had managed to draw the guards’ attention, using her powers to create enough chaos to give Soldier Boy the opening he needed. It worked, until she got shot multiple times.  

She found herself cornered in a narrow hallway, the walls lined with steel and concrete. There was no way out. Gunfire echoed around her, the sharp sound of bullets ricocheting off the walls. She took cover behind a weak force shield, her heart pounding.  

She could hear the guards closing in, their footsteps growing louder. As one hand shield her the other pushed down on her leg to stop the bleeding. "I’m trapped!" she shouted into her comm.  

"There’s no way out!" For a few agonizing moments, there was only static in response. Then, his voice crackled through. "Hold on, kid." The minutes stretched into what felt like hours as she waited, the sound of gunfire and shouting closing in.  

She fought off the guards as best she could, using her powers as offence instead to keep them at bay, but she knew she couldn't hold out much longer. Just when she thought it was over, an explosion rocked the hallway. The steel door at the end of the corridor burst open, and there he was. 

Soldier Boy, a look of fierce determination on his face. He tore through the guards with brutal efficiency, clearing a path to her. "Let’s go!" he shouted, grabbing her arm and pulling her to her feet. Together, they fought their way out of the facility, Soldier Boy covering her as they made their escape.  

When they finally reached the extraction point, she collapsed onto the ground, breathing heavily grabbing her leg. "You okay?" he asked, kneeling beside her, his voice uncharacteristically gentle as he tied on of his belts around her leg. She nodded, looking up at him with a mix of gratitude and exhaustion. "Thanks for coming back for me."  

He shrugged, but there was a softness in his eyes.  

--  

The memory faded, and Y/N found herself back on the plane, the steady hum of the engines replacing the echoes of the past. She glanced around at the faces of The Boys, each one focused on the mission ahead. She felt a renewed sense of purpose, a reminder of why she had joined them.  

M.M. caught her eye from across the cabin, giving her a reassuring nod. She returned it with a small smile. The private plane landed in a secluded airstrip in Russia under the cover of night.  

The Boys, along with Y/N, moved swiftly through the dense forest surrounding the remote facility where they believed the weapon that killed Soldier Boy was hidden. The facility loomed ahead, a monolithic structure guarded by heavily armed soldiers and state-of-the-art security systems.  

Butcher led the way, his eyes sharp and focused. "Alright, stay close and keep it quiet. We don’t want to alert the whole damn place." They approached the facility’s perimeter, M.M. disabling the security cameras and motion sensors with expert precision.  

They slipped inside, navigating the labyrinthine corridors with a mix of stealth and speed. But their luck didn’t hold for long. As they rounded a corner, they came face-to-face with a squad of Russian soldiers. For a moment, time seemed to freeze.  

Then, chaos erupted. Butcher was the first to react, launching himself at the nearest soldier with a fierce battle cry. His fists connected with brutal efficiency, taking the soldier down before he could raise his weapon.  

The sound of gunfire exploded around them as the rest of the squad sprang into action. Y/N used her powers to create a force field, deflecting bullets and giving The Boys a chance to take cover. She felt the familiar rush of adrenaline, her senses sharpening as the fight intensified.  

Frenchie and Kimiko moved as a deadly pair, Frenchie’s precise gunfire complemented by Kimiko’s lethal hand-to-hand combat skills. Hughie, still relatively new to the chaos of battle, ducked behind a crate, his heart pounding.  

He peeked out, firing his weapon at the soldiers, hitting one in the leg and causing him to drop his gun. M.M. took advantage of the opening, charging forward and disarming the soldier with a swift, practiced move. He turned, his eyes scanning the room for the next threat.  

"Y/N, cover us!" Butcher shouted, taking down another soldier with a vicious uppercut. Y/N nodded, focusing her energy to create a larger shield, pushing back the advancing soldiers. She could feel the strain, but she held her ground, giving The Boys the chance to regroup and counterattack.  

As the fight raged on, they moved deeper into the facility. The corridors echoed with the sounds of battle, gunfire, shouts, and the clash of metal. They fought their way through waves of soldiers, each skirmish bringing them closer to their goal.  

Finally, they reached a heavily reinforced door at the heart of the facility. Butcher and M.M. worked quickly to breach the door, using a combination of explosives and brute force. The door blew open with a deafening blast, revealing a dark, cold chamber beyond.  

They stepped inside, weapons raised, ready for anything. The room was dimly lit, the walls lined with strange, high-tech equipment. In the centre a large, metal cryogenic chamber, Butcher ripped the door off.  

"Bloody hell," Butcher muttered, lowering his weapon slightly.  

Y/N stepped forward, her eyes wide with a mix of shock and recognition. She froze for a second, unable to believe her eyes. There he was...Soldier Boy encased in the cryogenic chamber.  

The gas began to dissipate, and the machinery hissed as he torn the bands that had its grip on him. Ben’s eyes fluttered open, and he tumbled out of the container, gasping for air. "Ben!" Y/N shouted, rushing forward to catch him before he hit the ground.  

She knelt beside him, her arms around his shoulders, steadying him as he struggled to regain his balance. For a brief moment, their eyes met. She saw confusion and recognition flicker in his eyes, but it quickly turned to something darker rage.  

His expression twisted with fury, and his body began to glow. "Ben, it’s me, Y/N," she pleaded, her voice filled with desperation. But her words didn’t seem to reach him. The radiation started to build, the air around him crackling with energy.  

Before Y/N could react, Kimiko lunged forward, pushing her aside just as a blast of radiation erupted from Ben’s body. The force of the blast sent through the wall. The smoke and debris settled slightly, revealing Ben staggering through the chaos, his steps heavy and disoriented.  

His chest still glowed with residual energy, and he seemed to be in a daze, not fully aware of his surroundings. Ben, stop!" Y/N cried, her voice breaking with emotion. She took a step forward, her heart aching at the sight of him in such a state. but he walked away.  

As they returned to America, Y/N's mind was filled with a tumult of emotions. They had narrowly escaped Russia, but Kimiko's injuries weighed heavily on her. She watched as Butcher spoke to the team, his tone gruff and dismissive.  

"Soldier Boy isn't our problem," he said, his words cutting through the air. Y/N felt a surge of anger and frustration rise, she wanted to stay and find him. But she understood Kimiko needed help. “Why would he do that?” Hughie asked.  

Y/N’s mind drifted away.  

-- 

It was a late night, the night before the announcement of Payback as Soldier Boy's new team. Y/N had returned home after a long day of training, only to find Ben sitting on her couch, a bottle of whiskey in hand and a weary expression on his face.  

She couldn’t help but be annoyed at the sight of him. "What on earth are you doing here?" she asked, her voice mingled with concern. Ben shrugged, taking a swig from the bottle. "Figured you owed me one since I saved that pretty little ass of yours."  

Y/N rolled her eyes, "Fine. What's wrong?" As she settled onto the couch beside him, she couldn’t help but notice the sadness in his eyes, the weight of the world on his shoulders. "What’s eating you, Ben?" she asked, her tone gentle.  

Ben sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I'm a fucking disappointment" he said, his voice tinged with bitterness. “What?” Y/N asked before she listened as he opened up about his father’s abuse, the years of torment and neglect.  

Ben's father was a formidable presence in his life, but not in the way a father should be. He was a hard man, cold and unyielding, his words like knives cutting into Ben's fragile sense of self-worth.  

From a young age, Ben was subjected to his father's wrath, enduring physical and emotional abuse that left scars both seen and unseen. His father's beatings were brutal and frequent, leaving Ben battered and bruised, his spirit broken.  

But it was the words that cut the deepest, the constant reminders of his perceived failures, the insults hurled at him like daggers. He was called weak, a disappointment, a disgrace to the family name.  

For years, Ben internalized his father's harsh judgments, believing himself to be unworthy of love or respect. He built walls around his heart, his rough exterior a shield against the pain and rejection he had endured for so long.  

He learned to bury his emotions deep, to keep people at arm's length, lest they see the vulnerability he tried so desperately to hide.  

Y/N had seen glimpses of Ben's pain before, but it wasn't until that night, when he had opened up to her about his father, that she truly understood the depth of his suffering. She saw the scars, both physical and emotional, that his father had left behind. 

She saw the pain etched into his features, the vulnerability he rarely showed to anyone else. And in that moment, she understood him in a way she hadn’t before. "Why did you put up with it?" she asked, her voice soft. 

Ben shook his head, a bitter laugh escaping him. "It’s not that simple, Y/N. You don’t just walk away from family, no matter how screwed up they are." Y/N reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder.  

"You’ve got people who care about you, you know that right?" As their eyes met, and Y/N saw something flicker in Ben's gaze, a mix of emotions surged within her.  

But before she could fully process them, Ben leaned in, his intention clear. His lips moved towards hers, seeking solace in the warmth of the moment. Y/N's heart raced, her instincts conflicting with her emotions. As his lips hovered inches from hers, her fingers landed gently on his lips, halting his advance.  

"Ben," she murmured softly, her voice tinged with regret. "This isn't a good idea." She had thought about this moment before, wondered what it would be like to be with him. But now, with him drunk and high on who knows what, she couldn't bring herself to take advantage of him in this vulnerable state.  

It wouldn't be fair to either of them. Ben's expression shifted from longing to confusion, then to frustration. He pulled away abruptly, his eyes clouded with anger and hurt. "Fine," he muttered, his voice thick with emotion. "Your loss."  

Y/N watched him go, her heart heavy with regret. She knew she had made the right choice, but that didn't make it any easier to see him walk away. She never wanted to hurt him. 

-- 

As she heard MM talking to Frenchie and Kimiko she looked over. Seeing how badly Kimiko was hurt.  

Knowing she needed to find Ben ASAP before he hurts anymore people. 

To be continued...

------

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[dropout-if]

DEMO (coming soon) - FAQ - NAVIGATION

Dropout is an upcoming (and a side project!) +18 slice-of-life interactive fiction game. Loosely inspired by media such as In the Heights and Night in the Woods.

Tag(s): Slice of life, Drama, Romance, YA, LGBTQ+, Text-based.

You take the train home from college after nearly four years away, knowing you will be welcomed with open arms, bright smiles, and the sincerest congratulations from your friends and family, from the entire neighborhood. Their pride has not been misplaced, for better or for worse, you are the one: the only one who made it into college.

This is your first summer home since you began studying in Stanford. That is what everyone thinks.

This is your first summer home since you dropped out of college, thus becoming the biggest disappointment in your neighborhood. That is what only you know.

Trigger Warning(s): Crude humor, Strong language, optional sex scenes, Violence, Depression and depictions of other mental illnesses, Substance use, Unwanted pregnancy (a RO's, Wanda).

A short disclaimer

Features and Characters below!

Return to your home, the fictional neighborhood of Downtown Heights, where you're treated like a local hero because of your grand achievement.

Determine how you managed to make it into college and why you decided to call it quits.

Reunite with your high school friends and acquaintances, with whom you've barely spoken in the past few years.

Romance one (or more) of the six old faces waiting for you in Downtown Heights.

Customize your Main Character! From their teenage years to their young adulthood, from physicality to personality. Be it your traits, flaws, and vices: everything shapes your return home.

Navigate the very dramatic shenanigans of young adulthood.

Queer relationships • RO Intros • ROs' Social Media • RO Facts

Jean/Jade Gray (he/him or she/her): THE EX • 23 years old

J and you were good. Until you weren't, and then they broke up with you right before you left for college. The two of you promised to stay as friends, but, like most promises between you and J, that too was meant to be broken. Your ex is often considered to be ambitious, determined, and cutthroat. You honestly expected them to be well out of the neighborhood.

Exes to lovers. It's possible to start a poly relationship (v and triad) with J and Kai.

Uma Bharat (they/them): THE OLD FRIEND • 22 years old

It has always been you and Uma, and this has been something you covetously believed to be true. But then the distance settled in, and then the many years in which you lived abroad. You can't claim to know them as well as you once did. Uma once dreamed of being a successful painter, and they have never given up on art (though they sometimes feel like art has given up on them).

Childhood best friends to lovers. It's possible to start a poly relationship (triad) with Uma and Travis.

Statler Amani (he/him or she/her): THE HEARTTHROB • 25 years old

You knew Statler back in high school, though they can't claim to have known of you until you made it out of the neighborhood. Many years ago, they were every high schooler's dream partner: kind, polite, intelligent. Their current partner must be proud. Nowadays, Statler works as hard as they can to help their family.

Unrequited crush to lovers. Statler is already in a relationship, a (more-or-less) toxic one.

Wanda Pavon (she/her): THE MODEL • 22 years old

Wanda had a future in modeling, the two of you were in the same group of friends in high school, and you never doubted she would be capable of making it out of the neighborhood. Her self-assertive and spontaneous personality surely would have made Wanda's road a little easier. You only find out why Wanda stayed in Downtown Heights when you meet her daughter.

Friends to lovers. Wanda is a single mother, her daughter's name is Gabi.

Kai Alofa (he/him or she/her): THE ROOMMATE • 24 years old

Kai's glow-up is the reason some Downtown Heights grandmothers believe in magic. The high school nerd turned fuckboy/girl has spent the past few years traveling around the state. Like you, they are back for the summer, ready to disappoint their parents. Rooming together comes as a natural result of delaying said disappointment (or so Kai claimed).

Friends with benefits to lovers (mandatory to romance Kai). It's possible start a poly relationship (v and triad) with Kai and J.

Travis Camaro (he/him): THE RIVAL • 21 years old

Uma, Travis and you were considered to be inseparable: it was the three of you against the world. That is no longer the case. A massive argument completely shattered the friendship Travis and you had. You know he resents you, you know he's jealous you managed to make it out and that he was left behind. And that's all you know. Travis has always been... a private guy.

(Past friends) to enemies/rivals to lovers. It's possible to start a poly relationship (triad) with Travis and Uma.

Choosing a route.

The Dropout's Family

The list of flings!

[heavenlymorals]

Arthur Morgan's Depression

(Warning: Spoilers for RDR2 and mental health issues)

Arthur Morgan is depressed. Yes, I know the writers haven't exactly come out and said that he is depressed, but it does not take a genius to see that Arthur Morgan is a man who deals with many demons and monsters. Arthur Morgan has some sort of functional depression, and it is shown in many ways. In many missions, he seems downtrodden and sad, but he goes along with it anyway because what else can you do? He talks about himself in such a degrading manner in the mirror, and not just in a way that we all do sometimes, but in a way that invokes actual hatred of himself.

He thinks he's ugly when he's a conventionally attractive man. He thinks he's dumb when he's very witty and smart. He gets knocked down for his intelligence a lot by both Dutch and Hosea (we, as a fandom, need to stop pretending that Hosea is perfect because he really isn't). I know that dudes generally joke like that a lot, but those two aren't his “friends”; they are quite literally his father figures. It's different. His journal is filled with self-doubt, pain, and a general apathetic outlook on life.

But as I was playing “A Quiet Time,” one interaction between Lenny and Arthur stood out to me.

“Why ain't you never married?”

“'Cause no one will have me.”

In the context of this mission, I think this was written as an “oh damn” kinda joke, something out of left field to make the player laugh. But after thinking about it more, I realized something.

If you guys follow my posts, then you probably know that I love to interpret things from a sociocultural perspective—so let's do that.

Now, this is an obvious reference to Mary and how she rejected him in the end for Barry Linton to keep her family satisfied. It might also allude to Eliza or other female love interests that Arthur might've had at some point.

But it may also be a nod to the culture of 19th century America and what it entailed for men.

Arthur isn't married at 36 years old. Men were expected to be married generally by their twenties. He has no children or legacy—the only one he did have died years ago. He doesn't have property or a home—he's always on the move with the gang (given how defensive he got with that woman he picks up to go to Lagras, it's probably a point of insecurity). He has no respectable profession—he should've had an honest career by now.

He hopes that Dutch will get his shit together and have them put their outlaw ways behind them, but Dutch literally cannot, and Arthur is the one feeling the burn for it. He has missed so many milestones that he “should've” reached by this point, yet he is still doing the same thing he was doing since he was a young teen.

He can't bring himself to leave Dutch either, as he feels like he has a debt to pay to the man (“I gotta try! I owe him that, at least.”) that can never be paid.

And that has to fucking hurt. You already hate yourself on the outside by thinking you're hideous. You hate yourself on the inside because you think you're dumb. You feel unaccomplished, like a damn loser. And on top of all of that? You can't bring yourself to let go of all the factors that make you feel that way because “they're family” and “they need you.”

You're trapped, and everything feels awful. I'd be depressed too.

It might also be another reason why Arthur is jealous and angry at John. He has a wife, he has a child, he doesn't feel particularly obligated to the gang (hence leaving for a year), he has a chance to do better, and he just doesn't care. He's reached so many milestones that Arthur misses not because he wants them, but out of pure luck, and I'm sure Arthur feels bitter about it.

It's just sad, man.

[dejwrld]

⤷‧₊˚ oh no, yoruichi shihouin has another subordinate under her spell.

┊ •° ੈ ⋆° ┊ warning readers discretion is advised — black reader with descriptors, female anatomy described, her/she pronouns, usage of y/n, 2nd pov, reader is part of 2nd division, slight canon bleach verse, power dynamic, reader have a slight background because you truly can't write a x reader fic with a blank reader, finger sucking, top!yoruichi, nipple play, breasts play, clit play, usage of spit, tribbing/scissoring, bottom!reader, mdni

sticky note from deja — was listening to the best 1d member solo album and remembered that him & kehlani came out with this banger.

You had a crush. The crush in question is your superior. The head of the Shihouin clan. The captain of the 2nd Division. The commander in chief of Onmitsukidō. The Yoruichi Shihouin. This was bad—quite reckless if you were going to be honest with yourself and your delusions. Especially as a subordinate of hers. Merely a member of the Onmitsukidō and Division 2 who was still an outcast due to traveling rumors of favoritism due to how much and how long you’ve been by Yoruichi’s side since you joined. So long that you’ve developed a crush on Yoruichi that you didn’t even think felt right.

She was your captain. You weren’t even supposed to be looking at her in that manner. It wasn’t like nothing could ever happen between you two—that would break some rules, right? Were there even any rules about what you were mentally alluding to? Maybe. Did you care about these possible rules? No….Maybe. Having a crush on your captain can get complicated. It was a major distraction. How can you complete tasks that you were assigned if your mind keeps lingering off to think about the raven-haired woman?

“Your head has been in the clouds lately, can you keep up out there?” A voice interrupts your thoughts before you regain your composure.  

When you glanced up from the paperwork you were assigned to do, you saw Soi Fon waltzing in to possibly see if you were working. She tended to do that since you joined Division 2. You would have thought that Yoruichi herself told her to do the micromanaging the young woman has done since you joined. However, you just saw it as Soi Fon wanting what’s best for Yoruichi. Which was having the most skilled and ambitious fighters at her side in the Onmitsukidō. You didn’t take offense to it because you mentally were admitting that in your head indeed had been in the clouds. But would you admit that to her? No. 

“Of course,” You uttered as your eyes glanced up from your paperwork. “Can you?” Your lips coil into a grin seeing Soi Fon tip toe into the room.

Light as a feather, you would always describe the young woman because you never know when she’s walking behind it. It was amazing—quite imaginable if you asked yourself. You and Soi Fon’s relationship was odd. It wasn’t like it was bad blood between you two. You just can sense that she didn’t trust you. But they didn’t shock you, you did join Division 2 quite late and in complimentary of Yamamoto who was a good friend of Grandma’s. Hush rumors went around that your being here was merely a favor after your grandma didn’t know what else to do with you after the third marriage proposals went into one ear and out the other with you. 

You can feel her presence as she sits in front of the chabudai watching you do paperwork. It was frankly the only thing you did despite knowing how to fight—really well, actually. Your pending crush on the captain did blossom from just seeing her out of the blue (that was possible and you oddly believed in love at first sight, okay?), it blossomed from the late-night training of catching you up with everyone else. Which you were extremely grateful for. However, no one knew about this. Not even Soi Fon. Sometimes when the woman would be her usual overbearing self, you wanted to gloat about the training you’ve had with the captain. Purposely knowing how much that would crawl under Soi Fon’s skin after her blunt comments that have been thrown jabbing at you constantly. 

“Of course, I can.” She utters in disbelief that you would even question that. “It’s just odd, it’s as if you’ve popped up in thin air.” She hums slowly watching you write.

“It’s none of your business.” You added. “Don’t you have some task to do or something?”

“You’ve been here for hmm, three months now and have yet been assigned to-“ 

Your words were interrupted by the sound of the door of the room sliding open. Your eyes saw another member of Division 2 claiming that Yoruichi wanted to see you. She probably wanted the paperwork you were doing. You stood up collecting your things eyeing Soi Fon’s expression. Mentally taking a bite at how it changed at the sound of the captain’s name leaving someone’s lips. You didn’t even wish her farewell out of respect like usual, but instead made your way to Yoruichi’s chambers through the crisp night. 

Your mind raced with thoughts of why she would want to talk to you. You stayed out of trouble and practically kept to yourself. You ensured paperwork was done thoroughly—even triple-check it on some days. But when you stepped through the doors, you were expecting to be scolded. However, the energy in the room felt calming. So instantly you relaxed. Your shoulders fell with ease and you found yourself unclenching your first anticipating the worst.

“I been meaning to talk to you all day, but have been swamped with other matters.” Yoruichi beckons for you to come further in and you did what you were told. 

You haven’t been in her chambers before, so automatically this felt strange. As if it was tilting over the boundaries that you told yourself you would put up as your crush only blossomed more. But who were you to defy your captain, especially given that she has helped you tremendously? 

“I have some news for you, but I’m not sure if it’s good or bad news.” She sighs as she plops down on the pillows. 

You sat down on one of the floor pillows, your eyes immediately going to the paperwork that was on the small table. 

“I didn’t want to pry that old man in Division 1 about you and being who I am, I had to do some digging.” Yoruichi’s lips form a straight line before she sips from her cup. “You’re one special young woman, Y/N.” She adds. 

Then it hit you that the paperwork on the table was about you. From your bloodline to the mystery event that made your grandma send you away in the first place. You had a feeling that could come back to haunt you. You were considered a cursed child, rumors going around that it was due to your mother’s infidelity. You didn’t believe it until that night. The night you nearly killed a man you were originally betrothed to. You didn’t remember much from that night. It was as if you blacked out and when you finally came to your senses, you held a a knife to the man’s throat. 

“Are you going to-”

“For you to even think that is insulting, to say the least.” Yoruichi’s fingers traced alongside the rim of the cup she was sipping on. Her eyes glance over your confused expression before speaking once more. “If you train hard enough, you can control whatever is that is inside of you. We have worked together and I know you can

Your faces were inches apart, you could smell the scent of her. It smelt comforting and intoxicating. Your mind was yelling at you to call it a night. That you should head off to bed early considering your tasks for Soi Fon in the morning. But the pulse in between your thighs said something completely different.

You lean forward, your elbows resting on the table. “I don’t think so, I nearly killed someone.”

“And that’s why you’ll be assisting Soi Fon, tomorrow.” 

“Seriously? She hates me.” 

“She doesn’t hate you.” Yoruichi lets out a boastful laugh before leaning forward also. “She just doesn’t trust you.”

“And possibly jealous I’m stealing her time with you.” You uttered gaining a snicker from Yoruichi. 

The two of you sat in silence before Yoruichi stated, “You’ll do fine. I’m sure of it. I have seen you train. When you’re in your element, you truly know what you’re doing.” She grins at you and your cheeks instantly heat. 

The distance between you two was practically nonexistent and frankly, you wanted to delusionally admit that each passing second—you moved closer. 

Kiss her, Y/N.

You did just that without thinking about the consequences. But that was just you, you made decisions without thinking about the consequences. It’s the reason why you were here in the first place. It was the reason why your grandmother sent you away from the family estate. 

And she kissed back. 

This was wrong, right? The taste of Yoruichi’s lips on yours was wrong. You shouldn’t have been able to taste the sake she previously was drinking. This was breaking the rules you made up in your head during your time being here. During your time training with her, you can play catch-up with the rest of her comrades. Her lips linger upon your elegant-shaped jawline, trailing harsh kisses while her fingers are undoing your attire. Ultimately you can stop her, you can stop all of this and head to your room to listen to the sound of crickets creating late-night tunes. But you didn’t. You enjoyed this—correction, you were longing for this. Perhaps just this moment would set you straight. Just this moment would have you pushing your jarring thoughts about the captain out of your mind now that you kissed her. Or maybe this can go truly wrong? You two can cross this boundary and it’ll never be the same. 

You guess you’ll figure that out when you get there though.

Her hands cup at your exposed breast, fingers rolling your marbled nipples in between them gaining a moan from you. For once your previous complaints about how far Yoruichi’s chambers were from the rest weren’t there because you didn’t think no one would hear your quivering moans. Her lips trail down to your collarbone and back to your lips while she continuously rolls your brown-shaded hardened nipples between her fingers. Occasionally yanking at them to gain a yelp from you so she can let her tongue slither into your mouth. Her fingers that previously toyed with your nipples like they were stress balls travel down below your waist, fingers climbing into your panties that dampened at her previous motions. But before Yoruichi did anything else, she stopped.

She was perhaps having the same thoughts you were having. How inappropriate was this? How this shouldn’t be happening? How wrong was this? But as she broke the kiss, to stared at your exposed chest. Your breasts were fully exposed and you were thinking that maybe this is where you should stop this from happening, but Yoruichi’s words took you by shock.

“Take your clothes off,” 

Her words didn’t come off as harsh, but they didn’t come off as soft either. Either or, you did what you were told, disrobing your uniform and tossing it to the side. The coolness of the night caused a chill to run over your body. Or it could have been Yoruichi’s gaze with her golden eyes. Felt like you were under strict supervision by a stealthy cat that didn’t want you to get away. You swallow the lump that forms in your throat before eventually, Yoruichi’s back upon you. Harsh kisses, spit being shared, and a throbbing clit that was playfully being toyed with. The captain was driving you insane as each minute went by. Your pussy throbbed for some form of action and when you anticipated that Yoruichi would finally cave and give you what you wanted, you were met with her edging you on. 

She grabs you closer after prompting your leg upon her shoulder. The beaded anklet your grandma gave you years ago brushes against Yoruichi’s ear and even the sight of that had your cheeks heat in anticipation. Her fingers drag across your swollen lips, caressing them delicately like they were soft pillows. Her index and middle fingers found a place in your mouth. Your saliva coating her slender fingers that you wished were inside of you.

“Suck them.” She says, her voice is a sultry whisper.

You did what you were told. Sucking on her finger as if it was the best thing ever. Rings of saliva coating them without care before Yoruichi’s letting them toy with your pussy. Your body reacted immediately, slick coating the inside of your thighs as she’s letting her fingers rub at your clit in slow circles. Your toes curled in anticipation as you’re glancing down at the way her skilled fingers toyed with your clit. Your essence stained her fingers like a sin while you let out breathy whimpers to ensure how Yoruichi was making you feel. 

“Look at how wet you are, kitten.” She teases, fingers rubbing teasing circles on your throbbing bud. Her index and middle fingers circle around your entrance and like a sex-deprived woman—you anticipated her to slide her slim fingers inside you (that’s what you wanted). But teasingly she’s back rubbing at your clit, getting enjoyment at the sight of you whither below her. 

Yoruichi was well aware that you were about to cum. She can tell by the look of pure ecstasy on your face. Your eyebrows burrow together attractively and if Yoruichi concentrates hard enough, she can even see your eyes beginning to water. Greedily, Yoruichi slows down the pace of her fingers nipping at your clit. Each second she slows down her motions, she watches as your eyes light up in complete dread as your orgasm is tugged away from you instantly. She’s letting your leg drop from her shoulders without a care, leaving you a panting naked mess while she removes her clothes. 

You thought to pitch yourself. Perhaps, you were sleeping, in some form of dream. But with each layer that was removed from your captain’s body causing you to gawk at her beauty—you realized that this was real. That you were about to have the privilege to see the head of the Shihouin clan bare, nude, naked…and your mind was spinning at the thought. Your heart was bouncing around your chest as quickly as it was beating. Even if the woman snatched your orgasm away as if it merely was a privilege, you felt yourself grow wet at the sight of her. Her toned physique made your mouth water. From the way her body curved elegantly without her trying. The perkiness of her breast to the dark shade of her areola. 

In such a provocative position, your cheeks heat instantly as she’s positioned herself in between your legs. The warmth feeling of her clit on yours sent a chill down your spine. It did not cause fear to tremble your bones, but more so a chill that was pleasurable—completely enjoyable. You squirmed under her touch, yearning for some form of friction on your throbbing clit. Desperately bucking your hips impatiently. 

“Settle down, kitten. I’ll give you what you want if you say please.” Her eyes stared down at you, wet clit kissing yours as she waited for you to beg. 

“Please.” Your words came out like a plea for mercy. 

And as promised, she gave you what you wanted. Hips rocking just to feel the pleasurable feeling of your clit on hers. 

You wanted to question God, how could you be so lucky? How can you be so lucky to be able to utter Yoruichi’s name like a sweet bird tune while her clit rubbed against your own? How can you be so lucky to see the way her plush lips spread apart to let out a moan of satisfaction? 

You didn’t mind how tight she was holding your thighs apart just so her clit can rub against yours even faster. The only thing you cared about at the moment was the fact that you had Yoruichi in between your thighs. The thoughts about how this was breaking some form of unwritten rule were pushed further to the back of your head as each rock of her hips and each pornographic sound of heated skin rubbed against each other. How can you even think about rules when she was talking to you like this? 

“That feels good, kitten?” When she navigates her hips in a circular motion. 

“Be a good girl and cum for me one time,” She’ll coo. 

How can you think about rules when you were about to cum merely by her rubbing her clit on yours? 

When you made eye contact with her, you felt your stomach engulfed in a feeling you hadn’t felt before. The force of your orgasm was piling up in the pit of your stomach, but that didn’t stop Yoruichi. Her clit still happily rubbing against yours without the fact that you were holding back an orgasm. 

“Fuck.” The woman utters under her breath, this time her nails dug into your soft brown skin leaving a crescent moon mark. Her eyes shifted close before her rocking upon your clit grew a bit sloppy. A spasm of humps upon your clit like a cat in heat before she finally came undone. 

Here that thought of privilege you felt returned. The mere sight of Yoruichi when she was coming down from an orgasm felt like a dream. It felt so unreal, but when your hands went to grasp her sweat-coated body, you knew that this happened. With one harsh rock of her hips and intense eye contact with you, you finally felt your legs tremble in ecstasy. Completing cuming together in tune like lovers who've known each other’s bodies for centuries before she’s plopping down next to you.

You had to transfer divisions, immediately. 

Before this gets even more out of control. Or worse, you have one of your blacked-out episodes.

⤷‧₊˚ cuties that wanted to be tagged | @honeybleed @ayyy-pee @tojiscumdumpster @salaciousdoll @shamelesshoefairy @lunerenzo @antizenin @aizens-third-leg @strawhatsav @batmanslittlelover @hiiighforthiss @neesieiumz

[strqyr]

there's one scene in V5 that i love for reasons i don't see brought up often that i don't think i've talked about before either, and it's this scene between blake & sun, specifically certain things that blake says:

sun: [ilia] was your friend, huh? blake: she was. her chameleon traits meant she could pass as human. she could've lived a normal life if she wanted, but she didn't. i always admired that. she lost her family in a mining accident when she was young, then she joined the white fang. like me, she was more or less trained on the road alongside other faunus. she learned to survive, to defend herself, but as people like sienna and adam started to gain a following, she became more dangerous. i guess i did too.

in a scene where blake tells she has one word per person she associates them with—a word that can change over time, and one that she takes her time to land on—but when it comes to ilia, there's none of that; blake lays it out clearly exactly what she admires about ilia. and they were friends, close enough to have personal conversation, just two of them on the roof, close enough that blake even says that she could have left the white fang with her parents, but she had ilia (and adam), after all. why would she?

and then there's this:

blake: i'm going to try and help her the way you helped me. [surprised sun face.png] blake: you showed me that sometimes you need to be there for a friend even when they don't want you to be. i was drowning in guilt and fear, i tried to push you away, but you didn't give up on me. and i can't give up on ilia. it's about time i saved my friends for once.

blake, thanking sun in her own way for being there for her even when she wasn't in a mental state she thought she needed someone to stick with her; that despite the fact she hurt him on two separate occasions by slapping him, he still didn't give up on her.

but it's also about blake recognizing that she hasn't been that person to her friends, that she's more used to running away, but she's ready to change that, not just as a thank you to sun for believing in her when she couldn't quite believe in herself, but also for ilia. blake's not going to give up on her, full well knowing what the path in front of ilia might look like, what it might have looked for her had she stayed in the white fang rather than leaving when she did.

and i just— i love this trio so much y'all ಥ_ಥ

[planetsano]

↻ 𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀: a gripping tale of love as the reader navigates a complex relationship with the infamous toji fushiguro OR toji fushiguro being a shit boyfriend should be a case study!

↻ 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: age gap (20’s ↝ 30’s), toxic relationship, smut.

↻ 𝗯𝘆𝗿: female reader, female bodied reader.

You see, the thing about Toji Fushiguro is that he’s always been unapologetically and shamelessly him— he’ll always be a man that will be forever stuck in his own ways. He’s selfish, crude, insensitive, and would do anything no matter how foul and evil to put him forward.

So.. it’s cute— no, admirable that you thought you could change him. A pretty, young thing in her twenties dealing with a wreck of a man like him. How sick is that? Really, your first red flag should have been him wearing a shirt three times too small.

Yeah, the age gap was certainly.. more than a few years, which heavily attributed to the mental disconnect in the relationship. You were bright-eyed and naïve, so much life in you and hadn’t experienced a drop of what real life was like. You often romanticized life, finding beauty in the simplest of moments and weaving dreams from the fabric of everyday experiences. Your vivid imagination painted the world with colors unseen by most, turning mundane occurrences into enchanting adventures.

You held on to the “love could conquer all!” and “I can fix him!” mentality or something like that. But your optimism was a double-edged sword, pushing you to cling to the relationship while also blinding you to the reality that perhaps you both needed different things in life. You needed a life partner and he needed a tight cunt to fuck.

It’s ironic because you approached him first.

“Mister Toji..? What’s your wife like?” You shyly played with the ends of your hair, avoiding his gaze like the plague. “Ah?” Toji raised a brow at you, slightly surprised by the forwardness of your question. “Oh right, ‘don’t have a wife.” “Oh..” You feel your face and the tips of your ears become hot with embarrassment. “Well maybe I could.. make you dinner sometime..?”

Toji liked the appeal of having a woman half his age on his arm. But what he simply could not stand was the amount of energy required for it— oh, don’t misunderstand, he never put forth any real efforts anyway, but it was simply the.. expectation. Toji didn’t give a fuck about dates or anniversaries, all he cared about was emptying his balls inside of your pussy, the hot dinners you make for him and cozy shelter you provide.

You liked to play housewife in your own silly little delusion, finding comfort in the make-believe world where everything was picture-perfect. The idea of being the nurturing, organized, and devoted partner gives you a sense of purpose, shielding you from the harsh realities of what really was. It was a cozy escape, a refuge where you could pretend that all your worries were mere fiction.

Yet, there were moments when the illusion began to unravel, and a whisper of doubt crept into your mind. Were you truly content with this role you had assumed, or were you sacrificing your true desires in pursuit of an idealized version of yourself? The nagging ty made you question if he really loved you as much as you were in love with him. Or at all for that matter. He was a busy man but would returning a call really hinder his day? Would a text twist his arm so much? You never ask though, you would hate to upset him or come across as “immature.”

But if he’s just so horrible, this.. big, bad man who found it annoying that you..? That you wanted to hold hands in public! What made you stay? Why stay with a man that seemed to only have his best interest in heart and you were a second, sometimes third, or forth.

His cock.

That cock was an addiction that you had no intention of quitting. The way this man fucked you was enough to liquidate your mind— leaving you nearly brain-dead as his warm seed oozes from your hole. The width of his cock alone made you stretch an absurd amount, teetering the edge of comfortability. His tip relentlessly gives your cervix a beating— bruising it and leaving a delicious soreness that lasts for nights.

Toji’s physical presence was undeniably imposing and large, that alone makes you feel like a delicate trinket, one treasured and protected. Yet, paradoxically, the way he handled you was anything but delicate. His hands, strong and calloused, held a certain roughness that spoke of a life lived on the edge, battle-hardened and weathered. He folds your body as though you were a ragdoll— regardless of your size.

When he’s gone for days on end, you find yourself yearning for his fulfillment— no hand or toy will satisfy you the way he does. Toji’s ruined sex for you.

Toji withheld affection from you whether it was intentional or not. So when he did praise you it felt as though you were a pretty princess— chemically altering your pretty little brain more than a little bit.

He often kept his emotions locked away, leaving you hesitant of where you stood in his heart. The lack of affection was a constant ache, leaving you yearning for even the smallest crumbs of his praise. Yet, when those rare moments arrived, it felt like a euphoric rush, flooding your mind with a mix of serotonin and dopamine.

His praise, though infrequent, had an intoxicating effect on you. It was like soaring to the highest of heavens, as if the whole universe had aligned in your favor. In those fleeting instances, self-doubt dissolved, and you basked in the warmth of his approval, feeling valued and cherished.

But the hesitation lingered, a cloud of doubt that never fully dissipated. You wondered if his praises were genuine or merely an act of throwing a dog a bone, a way to keep you satiated so you wouldn’t throw one of your fits. The chemistry of emotions within you danced between soaring highs and daunting lows, creating a rollercoaster of feelings you couldn’t control.

You found yourself seeking those rare moments of praise like an addict craving their next fix, yearning for his validation and acceptance. The intoxicating mix of emotions left you captivated and vulnerable, making it hard to see beyond the haze of his allure and your love goggles. You chose to believe a ring is on it's way at the end of the day.

“You did a good job today, lovebug.” “Really?” “Mm.”

And you jump, just like a lap dog. But don’t feel bad, I would too if I had a man as fine as Toji. Woof. ♡

[scribblesofagoonerr]

The Alphabet Of Inner Demons | Mini Fic Series

A young teenager's journey to self-recovery with the helping hand's of a team that is her family.

pairings: leah williamson x teen reader, arsenal x teen reader

summary: the path to recovery is not always smooth; there are ups and downs, and sometimes the battles become too difficult to fight alone.

warnings: heavy angst and mentions of topics such as self-harm, mental health, suicide & death.

my inbox is open for requests!

Masterlist

⟫ All that I ask is that you stay with me

Sometimes y/n wonder's if it’s better to leave the world.

⟫ Because I can't loose you

There's tense conversations while y/n in hospital unconcious.

⟫ Cos' sometimes sleep isn't enough anymore

Y/N can't help but overthink the thoughts in their head.

⟫ Don't give up yet, I'm not letting you

Y/N's confession leaves everyone with mixed feelings.

⟫ Even though some words hurt more than others

Y/N's detained in hospital but not everyone is thrilled about it.

⟫ For what it's worth, I'm sorry and I don't really hate you

Y/N slowly starts to be on the road to recovery

⟫ God loves a trier though, right?

Y/N returns home from the hospital, but it's not easy.

⟫ How can we help you?

Y/N can't see that the decisions made are going to help her.

⟫ Ice cream might as well cure my depression

Y/N is left with the conquences of lashing out but at least a sweet treat might cure things

⟫ Just know you're stronger than you think

Y/Ns' world is turned upside down when your estranger mother turns up at her door one day

⟫ Keep on going, kid

⟫ Leave me alone

⟫ Make us proud, kid

⟫ Not ever alone in this battle

⟫ Only the lonely

⟫ Progress is key

⟫ Quitting seems like the easiest option right now

⟫ Remember how far you've come

⟫ Stronger than you know

⟫ This is your moment to shine

⟫ Unbelievably proud of you

⟫ Vague moment of joy

⟫ We're proud of you

⟫ X marks the spot

⟫ You're gonna go far, kid

⟫ Zooming all over the pitch

© scribblesofagoonerr

[in1-nutshell]

Hello there, so I saw one of the ask was the tfp autobots react to bot buddy with Wednesday Adam's personality so I was hoping you can continue it for RID 2015 with the autobots

We are bringing back some older Buddy's I see.

Bee doesn't know how to feel about seeing his pseudo sibling again and dealing with their antics again.

Hope you enjoy!

Bot Buddy with the personality of Wednesday Addams with Team Bee

SFW, Platonic, Familial, Cybertronain reader

RID 2015

Bumblebee

When Bumblebee asked Prime’s spirit for help, he meant like someone like Ultra Magnus, Arcee, Ratchet, he would even take Smokescreen.

He was not expecting Buddy to roll into the scrapyard unannounced one night.

He has to tell everyone not to attack them multiple times.

He knows Buddy doesn’t exactly look like the friendliest bot on the block, but he knows them well, he just hopes that enough to convince his team for now.

Buddy standing by Bee’s side as he introduces everyone to them.

“Buddy this is the team. The two you knocked out are Strongarm and Sideswipe. The Dinobot is Grimlock, and the Samurai with the minibots are Drift, Jetstream and Jetstorm.”—Bumblebee

“Buddy?”—Russel

Buddy looks down at the two humans and kneels to further inspect them.

Sideswipe is about to interfere when Bee holds a servo for him to wait.

Denny looks a bit nervous at the Bot while Russel just stares back.

“That is my designation. And you are?”--Buddy

“I’m Russel. That’s my Dad, over there. You don’t look like a ‘Buddy’.”--Russel

“What do I look like?”--Buddy

“Shadowbitter or, I don’t know, Darksteel?”--Russel

Buddy raises their optics a bit.

Buddy extends a digit for Russel to shake.

“I like this one Bumblebee. I can’t wait to wreak havoc with you.”--Buddy

Rusty smiles a bit, while Bee groans in the background.

Don’t get him wrong, he appreciates the extra help.

It took him a while to get used to their antics.

What Bumblebee doesn’t quite understand is how Buddy and Russel managed to click so quickly.

He finds that he missed his pseudo-older sibling’s dark humor and antics after a bit.

There is no way he is going to tell the team this information.

Strongarm

Strongarm immediately thought Buddy was a Con that snuck into the scrapyard. Naturally she tried to arrest them.

She went down so fast.

Sideswipe doesn’t let her live that down, even though he also got taken down just as fast.

But when hearing who this Bot was, she has a complete change in perspective.

Strongarm looking at the Bot next to Bee.

“Wait your telling us this is The Buddy?”--Strongarm

Buddy raising their optic at Bumblebee.

“You haven’t been telling them good stories about me, right? The best stories are my worst.”--Buddy

Buddy and Bee jumping a bit hearing a squeal.

Strongarm fangirl noises in the background.

Buddy looking at Bumblebee.

“…When I make it out of here alive, I have that burial shroud for your grave when I’m done with you.”--Buddy

Strongarm fangirl’s a bit.

They were after all, a part of the original Team Prime, and worked with Bumblebee in the past.

So, they cant be all that bad right.

Not a fan of the dark humor.

Not her taste.

Has many questions for Buddy, but half of the time Strongarm holds it in, for fear of angering the bot.

Sideswipe

Sideswipe will deny ever having attacked Buddy on their first day at the scrapyard.

He is floored seeing this scary looking Bot standing so casually next to Bumblebee and him just being cool with it.

The confusion is great with this Bot.

He tries to act cool in front of Buddy.

Sideswipe wants to patrol with Buddy sometime, but he is also a bit scared of the idea.

He is not afraid of asking Buddy for stories of young Bumblebee.

He finds most of their antics funny, but occasionally he feels off about it.

“What other stories you have about Bumblebee?”--Sideswipe

“Why do you want to know? To exploit his weaknesses? Blackmial material?”--Buddy

Sideswipe mentally sweating a bit.

“Maybe?”--Sideswipe

Buddy pulling out a data pad.

“I have 25 videos from our time at the base on this data pad. If I find more, I can show them.”--Buddy

Meanwhile Bumblebee somewhere in the Scrapyard.

“…Somethings wrong…”--Bumblebee

Grimlock

Grimlock was about to step in when he saw Drift and the mini’s start fighting the Bot after they soloed Strongarm and Sideswipe.

He is the first to believe Bumblebee when he says that Buddy is a good guy like them.

He is a bit confused by Buddy’s dark humor and antics, but he just rolls with it. Sometimes he finds himself laughing even though he doesn’t get it.

Any friend of Bee is a friend of his.

He likes to hear some of the stories from Team Prime has.

“Can you tell me about the fight with Predaking again?”--Grimlock

“The one I’ve told you about 7 times this week? Aren’t your audials going to fall off with hearing anymore of that story.”--Buddy

Grimlock looking confused but waiting for the story.

“… So, I was face to face with the giant Predacon…”--Buddy

Drift

Drift tried to fight Buddy as soon as he saw them take out Strongarm and Sideswipe.

He stood toe to toe with the bot even with his students’ help.

He is confused when Bumblebee tells them to stop.

He is on guard the entire time.

He does not care that Bumblebee claims they are friendly; their entire stance says differently.

He is not a fan of their humor or antics.

He is fully convinced that they are a con in disguise.

He does eventually get used to them, but it takes a while.

Drift looking around the Scrapyard for his students.

CRASH!

He turns the corner to see Buddy balancing Jetstream in one servo while Jetstorm in stuck on a sticky target.

“What do you think you’re doing?”--Drift

Buddy looking at him dead in the optics.

“Target practice.”—Buddy

[igorvinyls]

Why I Believe John Lennon is Asuka Langley

Hello everyone! I originally created a thread about this over on Twitter, though I also want to post it here just because. I want to preface this by saying while this is mostly a joke, I still want to point out the similarities between the two. I find that both John and Asuka are very complex people/characters that happen to heavily relate to each other. Obvious spoilers for Neon Genesis Evangelion. TW FOR TOPICS SUCH AS SUICIDE AND DEATH.

CHILDHOOD TRAUMA

Both John and Asuka lost their mothers from a young age, with Asuka losing her mother at 4 and John losing his mother just before his 18th birthday. It’s known that John’s mother wasn’t exactly mentally stable as Mimi, John’s aunt, was given custody of him. Similarly to John’s mother, Asuka’s mom, Kyoko, was also mentally unstable. Kyoko lost her mind after surviving a failed experiment with Evangelion Unit-02. This experiment would also end up taking the life of Yui Ikari, Shinji’s mother (this is important info for later.) Kyoko ultimately committed suicide after losing her mind and her husband in the process. Though it is ambiguous how Asuka’s father felt towards her, he did indeed drive his daughter away by cheating on Kyoko while hospitalized. It’s also known that John’s father wasn’t very involved with him up until the height of Beatlemania. Both John and Asuka were never very close with their parents due to many different factors.

(It can also be argued that John and Asuka were both adopted, but Asuka being adopted was only canon in the manga. For the sake of this post, I’ll only mention canon events from the anime going forward.)

I would also like to bring up this video.

RELATIONSHIPS WITH LOVERS

John and Yoko will probably be the most recognized celebrity couple in the world. It’s also recognized that John had an Oedipus complex which was sometimes discussed. The same can be said for Asuka, considering the fact that she romantically latched onto Kaji, a 30 year old special inspector for NERV. Asuka does this to fill the void of a perfect father figure in her life, as well as filling the role of a lover. John mentions doing this with Yoko numerous times. John and Yoko would even go as far as calling each other mommy and daddy. Moving onto other romantic relationships, I will now discuss Shinji, Asuka, John, and Paul. Shinji and Asuka have this strange dynamic throughout the story of Evangelion. Asuka is secretly in love with Shinji (you can already see which direction this is headed in), though Shinji has a hard time reciprocating his feelings due to his own personal struggles. Asuka’s rudeness and constant bullying also confuses Shinji, leaving him to wonder what Asuka truly feels for him. In this scenario, Paul would be in the same boat as Shinji. Shinji and Paul both lost their mothers at a young age. Paul and John bonded over the loss of their mothers. In a way, this also happens with Shinji and Asuka. It’s easy to tell that Shinji is more drawn towards Asuka after she tells him that her stepmom isn’t her actual mother. John and Paul go on to have a rivalry as they grow older, which also happens to Asuka and Shinji, though their rivalry was highlighted since day one. This rivalry between the two characters progresses all the way to the finale of the series. You can say that Asuka finally accepts Shinji when she lifts her hand up to his cheek while he is brutally strangling her. This act is seen as her accepting him into her heart after everything that they’ve been through. John and Paul also reconcile towards the end of John’s life. In Evangelion, the world is quite literally destroyed at the end of the series when the two finally reconcile. I’m not gonna be cheesy and say the same for John and Paul, but yeah. MOVING ON NOW.

OTHER FACTORS

John and Asuka have a habit of trying to appear more “mature” than they truly are. Asuka constantly boasts about being the best and most mature out of everyone. Same can be said for John. We also see this with his marriage to Cynthia Powell, John’s first wife. In my eyes, John’s first marriage was a rush to maturity considering the fact that he was only 21. I could say the same for John having a child with Cynthia at such a young age as well. John and Asuka, though trying to seem mature, are ultimately vulnerable people who tend to regress. Asuka acts like a young, lovestruck girl with Kaji. John acted in a similar fashion with Yoko. Asuka and John had massive egos. What else is there to say, really?

FINAL SUMMARY AND A FUN FACT

This is gonna be a quick one that basically ties together the points of my threads.

John and Asuka were seriously neglected as children which had a massive impact on their social development, as well as behavior.

Both had large egos, yet low self esteem.

The only fun fact about the two I have is that they both know German and Japanese.

THANKS FOR READING!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for lying to my friends due to a psychological disorder?

Ever since I (21F, american) was quite young (I would say around my 9 or 10 years) my mother noticed I had a tendency for lying, sometimes even for no reason at all. Some years after that I started going through therapy and psychiatric sessions and was diagnosed as bipolar and, more specifically, mythomania (compulsive/pathological lying, the diagnostic changed depending on which psychiatrist I went through). My manic episodes usually last longer than the depressive ones and, when those happen, I usually just lock myself from everyone in my bedroom (I rarely leave home even during manic episodes due to my own fear of anything bad that could happen outside)

And I'd say it's during those manic episodes that the bad things start to happen. Ever since my early 17s I started fabricating my own life to online friends since I have extreme difficulty making friends on real life. This ranged from stuff such as me saying that I'm disabled and that's why I don't leave my house (not true, I can do it when necessary but otherwise I am able bodied) and other simple, white lies to stuff like my relationship with my family and living condition.

It was in 2021 I think it started to go downhill. I still don't think I was in the wrong for it since, again, it is a mental disorder but I decided to come ask others too since the one friend I have that knows about it thinks I might be an asshole about this in specific.

Around 2021 I started playing a specific game with gacha mechanics. To this point, the image I had painted to most online friends (with the exception of that one friend) was of a girl on her 20s with a good relationship with her mother but a bad one with both her dad and brother (a lie, as our dad left us when we were children and I have a pretty good relationship with my brother), disabled and in bad living conditions. Because of that, it had been some time (since the beginning of the lockdown) since some of these friends started sending me money whenever I said I needed it for one reason or another (usually to buy food or necessities like hygiene products) and, since I didn't need it at all, I would just end up using it on stuff I enjoy like art supplies or makeup.

The moment I started playing that game though (which none of my friends knew about since they still thought I didn't have my own computer), I started spending all of that money on the game to pull for characters. It wasn't a constant thing but it got specifically bad on 2022, when a character I really enjoy was released.

I still think it's not that bad since none of them gave me a lot of money anyways, but after what I already had was spent on the game and I didn't have any money to buy the currency, I went to the discord servers venting channel and started writing by impulse stuff like how my dad had evicted me and me alone from the house after I stood up to him and now I was living in my cramped old car on the streets with no food, clothes etc. Some of those friends got extremely worried or something like that and ended up sending me more money than usual so I could 'pay for a hotel' until I had time to get government support etc (I don't really know how that works anyways, but I said I'd try and thanked them a lot for it and said that as soon as I was safe I'd draw something for them as payback but I never did because it wasn't really like it was a commission anyways) and I spent it on the game to get the character and I did!

I had to keep the lie about being homeless and then getting government support ever since and last month me and my "real life partner" (not real but i made it up a few months before this so i just used it as a excuse that he was working to get us both a place to stay) were finally in a safe apartment. However, one of those online friends knew about my condition and started to suspect about it all and got angry at me for no reason, saying that I was stealing from my friends and being unfair on even denying that to her. After that she blocked me but I was able to lie to the server that she had threatened me and implied I was lying about it all which wasn't true because that was my real living situation.

I still don't think I am in the wrong, they all did offer it to me on their own after all and I already spent it so there's nothing I can do. Am I the asshole for lying due to a mental health condition?

What are these acronyms?

[chocoenvy]

Hi there! I love your mommy Signora post, but ofc I love all the mommy fics hehe💕

But what happens in the day to day life with mommy Signora once reader got over the shock a lil bit?

I headcannon that maybe Signora can bring them around the palace and feed them Snezhnayan food? Maybe find out they have a fav and would have some as back up in case.

And maybe little creator would be angry at anyone who talks bad about her fire moth mama?

Keep note that you don't have to do this if you're too busy okay? Stay hydrated and rest well💕

hi im sad rn so i have to project apologies for making you hurt in advance <3

Child of Fire, Raised in Ice

warnings: fluff with an angst ending, sagau, a child (that is ten but turns 11-12 throughout this) is considered god, mild blood, death

6,115 words

There was no separating you and your mama. Ever since the day she had found you in the snow, held you with such tenderness. Despite being considered a "big kid", you still imprinted onto her like you were a young child. Growing by her side, soon enough in your pre-teen years.

Still, you stuck by her side. No matter how old you got.

This was a side of Teyvat you had never dreamed of seeing. Each of the harbingers, in all their horror and glory, and a new ideal against the gods. Signora, who you thought was so bad and evil, was now your hero.

Was this brainwashing? Were you too young and naïve to understand fully what was happening? Maybe, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that you were safe. Signora was safe.

All the harbingers found it odd, Signora's behavior. How she didn't ask for anything from you in return, and yet your young mind already had an understand of give and take - of goods and services - was eager to please her.

"I can help!" "Do you need me to help?" A smaller hand holding onto her coat, you were basically her shadow. But you were desperate to be helpful.

Signora was scared to let you go alone, despite your exalted status, there were those that would hurt you to spite her, and those with a hatred for gods that extended beyond reason. Despite her insistence she had no earthly attachments to you - that this was merely business - she would never be able to forgive herself if something happened to you.

But she wouldn't be by your side forever. So slowly but surely, she helped you grow. To no longer rely so heavily on her.

Running errands to Childe first, who always had a soft spot for kids. He became your friend quickly, your brother. A familiar and friendly face to go to when you didn't have Signora. Next was Arlecchino, brash and sadistic, but had a calm façade. You grew close with her at a slower rate, but eventually caught yourself growing fonder of her. Asking to visit the orphanage, making care packages for the kids, playing with those your own age.

Signora watched you grow physically and mentally with a fond smile. One that no one had seen in centuries.

You became quite famous in the Zapolyarny palace quite quickly. Going from being always a step behind Signora, to always a step ahead of her. Sometimes even running ahead to greet someone you knew - such as flinging yourself into Capitano who merely gently patted your head. Or excitedly shouting something to Pierro, always eager to see his nod of approval when you've done something worthy. You'd always seen Signora give reports to him, so you attempted to keep your conversations the same as that. You failed miserably, but it was funny to see you talk so formally and informally at the same time and tacking "sir" onto the end of all of your sentences. Until one day he finally caved and told you to just call him Pierro.

Despite your image of Signora changing drastically from what you used to think of her, Dottore never really changed in your mind. His smile freaked you out, almost like if you got too close he'd snatch you up and tear you apart. Like the magic tricks you'd see of people being torn apart, but you didn't think he'd be able to - or want - to fix you.

You thought your wariness was warranted. Which caught the attention of The Damsel.

Oddly, you were never afraid of Pierro. He reminded you of the nice old men that were from your old home, and despite everything, when you got close to him, he smelled like one of your male family members. He reminded you of home.

However The Damsel was the opposite. She smelled of nothing but the ice cold tundra, she appeared sickly, weak, but her voice was powerful.

Her first words to you were, "You think the Doctor is so frightening? What has he done to you so far?"

You couldn't see her eyes, but her voice sounded as though she was awaiting a grand story, an utterly horrid story, like she wanted to tear you apart and see the deepest and darkest parts of you.

"He-he's scary looking," You pouted, distressed.

A dainty giggle danced in the air, and the sound made you relaxed against your better judgement.

"Am I scary looking?" She leaned down a bit, the height difference not being that much, but it felt like she was towering over you.

You blinked, throat tightening and mouth flapping open and closed. You felt Signora's hand touch your upper arm before the words tumbled out of your mouth, "A wendigo." You realized what you just said and fumbled to fix your mistake, "A pretty wendigo! Wait-! Uh-!"

Even Signora snickered at the comment. The Damsel giggled, "Perhaps you're not far off from the mark. Call me Columbina. A child of Signora's is a child I shall protect."

Suddenly, Dottore didn't seem as scary anymore.

You were slowly but surely becoming more and more independent as the months passed, almost seeming like you were a mini-harbinger with how often you hung around them. Everyone was still aware of your "godhood" but that was overshadowed with over half a year of you being at the palace. Over half a year after Signora had saved you.

"Fair Lady, your grace." One of Signora's personal servants entered Signora's study, where the two of you were sorting through important paperwork and writing reports to officials, townsfolk, and the Tsartisa herself.

Signora nodded for her to speak.

"The Tsaritsa has requested their grace's presence."

Those words sent a shiver up your spine, you glanced nervously at Signora but her face was completely neutral.

"Thank you, we'll be on our way immediately." Signora stood from her chair and the servant scurried off.

"Signora-"

"You'll be okay." Her smile was so uncharacteristically warm. A smile that melted away the snow, a smile that saved you when you were dying in the cold.

You opened your mouth to say something doubtful, to argue or protest, but you didn't, "...okay..."

She grabbed your hand in hers, and it was warm, and she led you to the Tsaritsa. To the heart of the palace, a place you had never been.

Signora had told you a handful of times that the Tsarist was aware of your presence in the palace and condoned it. That when you had passed out in her arms after she had saved you, the Tsaritsa herself had made sure you had healed at your bedside.

You didn't ask why, throat closed up and mouth dry. You never questioned why. Signora was safe, she'd tell you all you needed to know, and what you didn't need to know... was fine by you.

"Here," Signora slipped her hand out of yours, pushing you forwards towards a staggeringly tall door, "I will be right here-"

"Why can't you come with me?" You looked up at her with wide fearful eyes, barely managing a shaky breath in and out.

Signora's eyes softened, a sight you and one other lost to the snow has seen, her hand on your shoulder tightened and she lowered herself to your level, "The Tsaritsa has not requested me, remember we are living in her palace, in her land. She would never put you in danger, and neither would I." She cupped your face and lifted your wandering eyes to hers, "You believe me, right?"

You swallowed the lump in your throat and nodded.

She patted your cheek, "Good." A rare moment of fondness, she pressed her lips to your forehead softly, "Now go, don't keep her Majesty waiting too long."

You nodded, Signora's gentle and warm touch leaving your form. The cold surrounded you as you pressed your palm to the handle of the door. The cold spread throughout your veins, freezing your lungs and heart.

You used all your might to push the heavy door open, squeezing past it. It shut with a thud behind you.

You kept your eyes on the ground, barely wandering to fully take in the room.

You could feel her Majesty's presence, but you'd never formally met her before. How were you supposed to greet her? Were you supposed to greet her? What titles should you use? She was far scarier than any of the harbingers, you couldn't tell if your limbs were shaking from the cold or pure fear.

"Raise your head, child." A deep, baritone voice came from the throne, jostling you out of your frozen state.

You followed her command immediately, raising your head to meet her eyes- were covered. Her eyes were covered.

Her height was staggering as well, she must've towered over everyone in the palace including the harbingers. Her throne was completely made out of ice too, everything in the room as well. If you weren't careful, you'd slip and fall.

On her stoic face, the ghost of a smile played at her lips.

She stood from her throne, a grand and intricate dress falling gracefully behind her as she made her for you.

You could feel each step in your chest, the dread building up. You bit your tongue to stop tears from welling in your eyes.

She gracefully swooped into a kneel and grabbed your hand with surprising gentleness. Her hand, despite bearing a glove, was ice cold and pulsated with power.

It made you dizzy, the pure cryo energy in one human body and the power of three gnosis in her possession.

"It's an honor to formally meet you, your grace." Her deep voice reverberated in your head.

You stumbled on your words, "Y-y-y-you too your majesty." You squeaked.

She chuckled, "No need to be so formal, you've lived in my palace for quite some time now, haven't you. I know you well."

"You've been... watching..?" The question slowly died on your throat as you realized the absurdity of it. You were in her palace, her home territory. Of course she'd be watching you.

"I have. Everything that goes on in my home I am aware of. Not only in the palace, but in the whole of Snezhnaya." She answered with a smile, one that seemed oddly sinister, "There are many things I wish to tell you, many questions I believe you have. Those will all be answered in due time, you are still far too young for all of these dealings." Her hand slipped away from yours and you felt the blood flow resume - you hadn't even noticed it had slowed.

"First," An intricate box materialized itself in her hand, the same way the Traveler's weapon would appear and disappear on command, "I want you to know, your grace, that these are yours." She opened the box and you gasped, nearly tripping on the ice in your shock, "I have gathered two of the other archons' gnosis as well as my own, and soon to be all seven, all to give to you. I understand that this must be overwhelming which is why I don't expect you to accept or take them." Her smile grew and you swore you saw fangs peak out, "I merely want you to know that these are here for you, all you must do is call for them and they shall be yours."

"Why-?" You choked out, shock grasping at your throat, "You've worked so hard-"

"That is something that you must find out on your own." She closed the box, her smile ever present, "Snezhnaya has no room for tears and childhood, you've had to grow up faster than you could've ever imagined. I will give you some more time, but when you feel that spark of childhood extinguish, come to me."

"H-h-" The world spun, "H-How will I know?"

"You just will." The box disappeared from her hands, and in the same place Signora had left a warm and gentle kiss on your forehead, The Tsaritsa had done the same, chasing away whatever warmth lay on or underneath your skin. "Goodbye, child, it was wonderful meeting you."

You nodded, "You as well."

You scurried out the door, and just as she had promised; Signora was there.

Signora noticed the difference your meeting with the Tsaritsa had made immediately. You were shaken, your eyes had the beginnings of the frozen tundra in them.

Signora knew she wouldn't be able to preserve the warmth of your innocence and childhood forever, and it seems the threads of the Tsaritsa's grand plan were making themselves seen.

However, you still melted into her touch, smiling so widely when you saw her. Even with your ever-growing independence, you made sure to always stick next to her. You were never out of her sight, and that childish smile still remained when you saw her, or Childe, or Capitano, Pulcinella, Pierro, even Arlecchino, Columbina and Dottore got to see your childish smile. You were happy, and that was all Signora could ask for.

"Signora! Signora!" Your childish voice resounded through the halls.

"Yes, yes I'm right here dear, what is it?"

"Look!" You held out your hands to her, they were cupped together and on top of them rested a pyro moth.

Signora's eyes widened in shock, "Where did this come from?" There was no way you'd know these belonged to her, she had only ever used her cryo powers around you. Except-

"I don't know! It just kinda showed up, I think it likes me!" You smiled ear-to-ear, "It kinda reminds me of you, it's the same warmth I felt when you found me, you know?"

Signora hummed, her gloved hand coming up to lightly touch the wing of the moth, "I see." She smiled warmly, "Well, since it likes you so much, make sure to take good care of it."

You nodded enthusiastically.

Signora seemed to have been unaware of how close she had gotten to you. She knew her moth only had one objective: to watch over you.

Perhaps it was a good thing.

-

"What do you mean?!" You screeched, the moth that had shown up just a few days before fluttering distressed at your shoulder, "You're going away?" You whined, clutching onto her dress, "Why are you just telling me-?"

"(Y/n)." You froze at the use of your name, "You are still aware of the fact that I am a harbinger, this was going to happen eventually, I have a duty to the Tsaritsa and Snezhnaya. I must go, you know this. Everything has been set up, all that's left is for me to grab the gnosis and come right back. You understand."

It wasn't a question, and it wasn't a statement you would argue. You nodded miserably, stray tears falling down your cheeks.

Signora sighed, "Please don't cry." Her hands cupped your face and wiped away the fallen tears, "The other Fatui have taken care of most of the work, it will be quick and I'll come right back. You can be a big kid for a month can't you?" She smiled encouragingly

You sniffled and nodded, "I- I think so."

"Good, thank you, (Y/n). And if you don't think you can be a big kid there's always Childe and Columbina and the other harbingers." Signora smiled, "You can visit the orphanage with Arlecchino, do whatever you want. So long as you stay safe and keep Little Ayin with you. Understand?"

"Yes Signora!" You saluted like one of the Fatui underlings, Little Ayin fluttering encouragingly around you.

"Good!" She patted your head, "Now come on, you can follow me to the boat but you can't come with me."

You grinned, holding her hand and leading the way to the front doors of the palace, "Don't worry! One day I'll become a harbinger and be able to come with you to all of your missions!"

"Really? Will you be the 12th harbinger?" Signora asked ammused.

"Nope! I'll be first!"

"And what of Pierro?"

"He'll be retired. He already has back problems."

Signora snorted, "Don't be saying things like that so boldly, you might make an enemy of Pierro." She ruffled your hair playfully.

It didn't take long enough to reach the boat. You squeezed her hand, almost silently begging her to not go.

"I'll see you soon, (Y/n)." Signora smiled.

You flung yourself into her arms, "See you soon!" You pulled back with a grin, barely managing to hold back the tears.

Signora softly smiled, grasping your hands in hers. You felt her place a solid and cold object in your hands. She closed your hands together and patted them, "I'll be back in a month. Make sure not to cause the others too much grief."

You grinned, "No promises!"

She nodded and pulled away, you stopped yourself from chasing her warmth. She boarded the ship and you watched as they prepared for travel. You stood there the entire time as they prepared to leave, and then followed the boat as far as you could until they were too far at sea. Not for a second did you stop waving at Signora until the boat was out of view. Your hand fell to your side slowly but definitively.

"(Y/n)."

You swallowed down the tears and turned to grin at Arlecchino, "Yes. We should go home."

Arlecchino nodded, walking beside you.

You kept your hand next to Little Ayin, the other grasping whatever item Signora had entrusted to you.

"You look miserable." Arlecchino commented, "Come with me to the orphanage, it's been a while since your last visit."

You glanced up at her, and nodded, smiling softly, "Sure. Just- once we get there do you think I could have a moment to myself?"

Arlecchino gave you an undecipherable look, "Of course, (Y/n)."

Once at the orphanage, all the kids who you had grown close to over the past year swarmed you.

But just as she had promised, you were allowed a moment to yourself alone.

You took the item from your pocket and inspected it.

It was a locket. You stared at it, dumbfounded, your confusion doubling at the clearly Mondstadt design of the locket.

You opened the locket and a folded piece of paper fell out. However the picture in the locket was... Signora? And a man?

"Who..." You diverted your attention to the small piece of paper, unfolding it to read the message, "Dear (Y/n), I'm sorry for never having the strength to explain to you in person. Ask Pierro about the locket. I shall tell you more once I am back. -Signora"

You stared dumbfounded at the piece of paper and locket you now had in your hands. Was this even Signora? Maybe it was a family member of hers? But why would she give this to you-?

"(Y/n)?" There was a knock on the door, "The children are getting impatient."

"Oops! Coming!" You turned around and rushed through the door, past Arlecchino.

Immediately a genuine smile tugged at your lips as you spend the day at the orphanage, with those you could almost call your family.

-

You couldn't sleep in the orphanage. You and the kids had played for hours on end, a distraction from Signora's absence. However you refused to sleep there. No matter how inconvenient or spoiled and bratty you sounded.

Thankfully, after some pushing, Arlecchino relented and took you back to the palace even though it was well after midnight.

Being in an orphanage and staying there after Signora had left... you couldn't do it. Not after you had been ripped away from your other family.

"You know, I'm starting to really hate agreeing to babysitting duty." Arlecchino huffed, grimacing.

You snickered, "Did Signora ask you to babysit me?"

She sighed, "Not explicitly, but she did enough passive aggressive hints for me to get the message."

You giggled at the mental image, "Well you won't have to worry about me tomorrow, I have plans in mind to bother another Fatui member." You grinned sadistically, a grin you've seen on Arlecchino before.

"May the Tsaritsa help their soul then."

-

You hunted down Pierro as quickly as you could the next day, following him around like a lost duck.

"Is there something you need?" He asked gruffly.

"Yes, but it'd take up a lot of your time."

He sighed, "Is it important?"

"Yes." You stared up at him with wide, child-like, yet gravely serious eyes.

His visible eye searched yours for a moment, as if noticing something that wasn't there before. Maybe there was.

Pierro nodded, "Alright then, come with me."

He turned and briskly walked towards his office, you scurried after him, gently holding onto his coat so you could keep up with him.

The locket and note were held in your pocket, and Little Ayin was snuggled against your neck comfortably. Signora was still, in a way, with you. She'd come back in a month, and you'd be here waiting for her. You'd be able to ask all the questions you want about the locket and the couple in it.

He opened the door to his office and held the door open to allow you inside, "Go ahead and have a seat." He shut the door and sat opposite of you. With a rough sigh, he said, "So, what is it that you need to tell me?"

You pulled the note and locket out of your pocket, laying it on the table in front of you.

"Signora gave this to me before she had left." You looked up at him, searching his expression.

For a moment, confusion and shock made his eyebrows furrow, before they became neutral. Almost as though he had expected this.

"I see." She gently grabbed the note and read it, nodding to himself.

Opening the locket, he turned it so it faced you, the couple staring at you. The woman's smile one you had seen before.

"This was 500 years ago. The woman is Signora, and the man beside her was her husband, Rostam."

"Husband?" You sputtered, Little Ayin resting on your shoulder solemnly, "She has... why did she never tell me?"

"Because he is no longer with us." Pierro said, his eyes meeting your steadily, like he was telling a story that had already been finished. "He was once a Knight of Favonius, and after the calamity of Khaenri’ah the Knights were tasked with purging the monsters that had emerged. Here, Rostam had died. Signora had been at the Akademiya in Sumeru studying while he had died, and when she returned to find him dead she went insane. Swearing to burn away the world and cleanse it."

You remained silent, staring at the picture of such a happy couple. Unsure of what you should be feeling.

"I believe," He said carefully, but retaining all the power in his voice, "That she hesitated on telling you because of how much it hurt her. I never expected her to tell you at all." His hand gently came up to pat the top of your head, and you didn't realize all the tears that were falling onto your lap. "Rostam was Signora's family. The only one she had. I believe she sees you the same way now."

You screwed your eyes shut and curled in on yourself, sobbing into your hands.

"I-I want her back!" You wailed, "I don't- don't want her leaving." You hiccupped, "I miss my old family, she's-she's all I have."

"She'll return." Pierro said so assuredly that you couldn't help but believe him, "You must have faith in her. She's captured two gnosis successfully. She will return with one more. Trust me when I say this is just as painful for her as it is you."

You nodded, sniffling. Reminding yourself over and over that she would return.

-

The first night on the ship, Signora had cried. She cried like she had just lost someone, cried like her first night in the Akademiya. Like she was alone for the first time in a long time.

It was the longest and hardest month she'd had in centuries. It was foolish - stupid of her to get so close to you. She feared that history had a habit of repeating itself, and she was petrified for the latter half of her history repeating.

But you were in the Zapolyarny Palace, under the protection of the Tsaritsa and the harbingers. T here was no way you would be hurt while under Her Majesty's care.

But her subordinates could see her stress, how she was snappier and any semblance of leniency she had shown in their homeland had evaporated. She chalked it up to this being an important mission, the most important one since last year when she and Childe obtained the Geo Gnosis. Of course, any leniency allowed by her could put the whole mission in jeopardy.

She'd get this mission finished with soon. At this point all that was left was to take the damn thing and go home.

-

"Filthy rats... all of you!"

She was desperate, insane, a witch.

All the heartbreak she went through after she lost Rostam, the pain and fear you felt when you awoke in this world to never see your family again, you would not feel it again. She had to go back to Snezhnaya, she had to go back to you-!

In the end, she did make it back to Snezhnaya. In a casket.

-

"Pierro! Pierro! She's here! She's here!" You squealed, bounding out of the palace.

"(Y/n)..." You were too excited to notice his odd tone, "Slow down."

From the day he had told you of Signora's past, you kept the locket around your neck. Even if you never knew Rostam, if he made Signora happy then he had your approval.

"Come on, Little Ayin! Why are you so slow?" You gently but hurriedly scooped the strangely forlorn fire moth into your hands. "I thought you'd be more excited for Signora's return." You giggled, running through the snow even before the sun had begun to rise, Pierro following slowly behind.

You waited at the dock, "How long will it take for them to be here?" You questioned Pierro, staring up at him with wide and excited eyes.

Pierro watched the child-like nature flutter with hope in your eyes. He sighed, "The report said they'd be here by sunrise."

"How long until sunrise?" You bounced on your tippy-toes, stretching your neck to see as far out into the ocean as you could.

"Far too long, child, it's 3 in the morning." He patted your shoulder hardily, "And you've been up since midnight."

"I just can't wait!" You grinned.

Oh how Pierro was dreading the morning sun.

-

Quite a few Fatui were gathered around the docks, and of course, you were the first to spot the boat carrying Signora.

"There! That's her! That's her!" You screeched, pointing at the boat.

But no one cheered.

You didn't think to question it, Pierro having to hold you back from sprinting up the plank laid down from the boat to the dock.

You saw ginger hair and a red scarf at the top of the plank.

"Childe? What's he-?"

You felt your heart drop to your feet and then somehow tumbling even further away from your grasp. Your stomach churned and twisted. You wanted to throw up and cry out your insides.

Childe didn't smile at you when his eyes met you, as he led a group of people carrying a human-sized box off of the ship.

You broke away from Pierro's grasp, hitting his hand away from you when he reached for you.

"(Y/n)-!" He barked after you sternly.

"Childe!" You crashed into his front, holding onto the front of his shirt even though he towered above you, "Where is she?"

His eyes somehow managed to look even more dead, hope chased away long ago.

Fear grappled your heart, stopping it's beating entirely. You shook him, your voice raising dangerously, "Where is she Tartaglia!"

He shakily inhaled, pity in his dark blue orbs, an ocean swallowing you in the beginnings of grief. He closed his eyes and turned his head to look at the box that was being carried by six Fatui.

"There."

"..."

There was silence, quieter than the deathly snow at night, waiting for its next victim. Your limbs and organs stopped working, halting their movements to stare at the box.

"Stop lying." You whispered.

"I'm not-"

"She's not!" You choked, shaking Tartaglia desperately, "You're lying!"

"(Y/n)." A firm hand gripped your shoulder, Pierro softly yet firmly said, "Please-"

"Did you know?!" You whipped around to face him, eyes wide and pupils pinpricks, breathing erratic - angry - and tears falling furious from your eyes.

"... yes. We got a report-"

"Why didn't you tell me!" You screeched, pushing him away from you and backing away, your hands clenched as fists at your side.

Pierro lowered his hand with a frown, "Because we knew you wouldn't believe us and that you'd react like this."

"She's not- she can't be- she's still in Inazuma you just left her behind. You- you-" You choked on your words and sobs, crying into your sleeves.

You clutched Little Ayin to your chest, its warmth the only comfort.

Without even realizing it, you were running, your name being shouted from behind you before stopping. But you kept running. And running.

And running.

-

You were once again lost in the tundra, snow billowing past. Except now you were accustomed to it, and attuned to the world in a way you nor anyone else could begin to imagine.

However one thing remained the same. You had lost your home. Your family. Once again, it had happened.

You fell into the snow, curling into a pathetic, sobbing ball. Crying into your arms and knees and hands until you couldn't feel your body. Everything was numb, even your heart and mind.

There was no point, no reason, no rhyme or love or life.

You wailed into the snow, into the tundra and wild of Snezhnaya. You screamed and cried like a wounded animal, begging and screaming for someone to bring Signora back. To bring your family back.

Your prayers were only slightly listened to. A warmth floated by your ear and you jerked away. You were laying on your stomach, face numb in the snow, until Little Ayin encouraged you to roll onto your back as it laid on your chest. Right where your heart was beating erratically.

It brought warmth throughout your chest and your raised your hands to gently hold it. Your wails and sobs turning into pitiful sniffles and whimpers. It was as though a limb had been torn off you and you were desperately trying to convince yourself you could reattach it. That you'd still have it good as new.

That Signora would come back. She'd come back she promised she promised, they all promised, she'll come back one day.

You gulped in breathes of cold air, stabilizing yourself in the warmth you pretended was Signora's hand. When suddenly the temperature dropped even more. Your tears turned into icicles after they fell, your entire body numb.

You didn't even move your eyes when you saw a pair of hands come up to wipe at your face. When they moved away, you saw tear and blood stains.

"Dear, you've certainly made quite a mess of yourself." It was the deep baritone of Her Majesty, yet despite that you couldn't bring yourself to care. Your heart didn't jump in recognition and neither did your eyes widen. You lay there motionless.

"Come, it is far too harsh out here for a wounded heart." She easily picked your limp body up, Ayin still laying against your chest, its pulsating warmth weaker than ever.

-

The Tsaritsa noticed a pattern within her kingdom. The cycle of love repeating endlessly, so everlasting even the Raiden Shogun would be envious.

How cruel this cycle was to her subjects and even the ruler of them all. To allow attachments to grow and fester and wrap thorns and roots in one's heart only to have them brutally torn out. Leaving you with nothing but scars.

Right now you were a bleeding wound, not even the most adept and knowledgeable would be able to know how to help you.

Not even the Tsaritsa, who had seen and experienced this pattern countless times, did not know the solution.

But she knew different outcomes. She merely awaited to see which one you would set down.

-

The day of Signora's official funeral you were much quieter. The harbingers gathered around her cold casket. You had grieved alone with her corpse some days earlier, pretending her hand was grasping your own and she was hugging you closely to her chest. That you were missing your old family as she comforted you, back when you were younger and more of a crybaby.

That she'd allow you to be weak again, to be a crybaby again and weep for what you missed.

She had never responded to your questions about her and Rostam.

Her cold casket didn't burn bright red like Little Ayin. It was white in the white snow and ice. Columbina sang with a smile, the other harbingers bickering. Your hand rested against her coffin.

The creeps of the Tsaritsa's power made themselves known, frost creeping their way through the building. You comforted the cold metal of the coffin the same way her hand comforted you. Perhaps you could pretend that somewhere, somehow, she could feel it.

Little Ayin fluttered away from you, landing on the fallen pawn on the chessboard.

"We are gathered here today to remember our dear comrade..."

The words from Pulcinella's mouth made you sick. Your teeth grit in anger.

The traveler had defeated The Fair Lady in a duel before the throne. Childe's words were engraved into your very mind, anger burning through your veins. It was customary for her to be executed after their fight by the shogun.

The harbinger's heartless and stupid words made it worse, your gaze flickering between them like a caged animal ready to strike. You tapped your finger against the coffin, willing yourself to believe it was empty.

"It's time to end tonight's foolish theatrics." Pierro stepped out of the shadows, the frost spreading across the floor away from you, "Right now you have no captive audience."

You unclenched your fist and stood straighter as the harbingers gathered around her. Blood dribbled from your palm where you had cut them with your nails.

Little Ayin rested on her coffin, and it burned away. Your last source of her warmth gone. You had to bite your tongue to keep from crying or yelling.

Pierro's every word hung in the air like the ending of an act to a play. And at the end of the act, the entire building was encased in ice. Never to be disturbed again, Signora would rest in absolute peace.

"As was Her Majesty's benevolence."

But it wasn't until after you had returned to the palace, with a demand to meet with Her Majesty, when you realized she was no where near the vacinity.

The Tsaritsa hadn't frozen Signora's burial site. You had.

"Your Majesty." You faced her, head lifted to meet her eyes.

"Yes, your grace?" She responded with a wicked grin.

"I am no longer a child." Your eyes resembled her eleventh harbinger, Hell having greeted you firsthand, "My birth mother and family cruelly torn away from me, and my mother from this world now dead. My childhood is dead and I wish to accept the gnosis."

Your eyes, wide with youth, were steadfast and set in determination and - the Tsaritsa amusedly noticed - rage.

She grinned, fangs peaking from behind her lips, "Then... I am sorry...to also have you shoulder the grievances of the world. Since you could endure my bitter cold, you must have the desire to burn? Then, burn away the old world for me. That is all I ask of you. Surely you can fulfill it."

The box materialized in her hands and you reached to take it.

"I will burn away the old world." You said through gritted teeth, your knuckles turning white from your grip on the gnosis, "I will cleanse this world, and I will kill the traveler."

The Tsaritsa nodded, her smile never faltering, "Then welcome to the Fatui, your grace. I know you shall become a wonderful ruler for the new world, and a vengeful soldier for your lost mother."

The patterns that love followed truly were amusing.

[schrodinger-swriter]

Can we get an a,b,c,f,j for the lovely Carmila herself if that’s not too much to ask?

A, B, C, F, and J for Carmilla

Apologies for the delay, Anon... The past two days has been a bit chaotic and generally I haven't been in the best mental or physical space..

With that being said I hope you enjoy this despite the delay!

ATTRACTION:

As much as she wants to protect you and be there for you she needs security in knowing that you can fight for yourself and handle problems on your own when she cannot be there for you. She finds a strong partner is what works best for her. That's not saying she won't come to your aid if you need her help. In fact she will come in a heart beat, but once more she needs some reassurance that no one is going to be able to just snuff you out. It's less of an attraction thing and more of a peace of mind thing, she doesn't exactly see weaker people less desirable.. just unlikely. If that makes sense?

BONDING:

Often you two bond by just talking. Carmilla is often tired from keeping her business running and her clients satisfied, as well as designing new weapons. There's nothing more that she wants to do than to simply sit and let her hair down. Have a drink with her, perhaps something warm to loosen the tenseness inside of her. Ask her how she's doing and she will do the same. Very low energy and calm in contrast to the constant stimulation from her work life.

CUDDLING:

She's warm! Like most sinners! Her large hands tend to wrap around you almost defensively, but gently. More often than not she is the big spoon but sometimes she will humor you and switch places. Only cuddles with you in the privacy of your rooms.

FAMILY:

She already has her daughters, and she is already more than happy with them. She isn't looking for any more children, even if as a sinner she can't bare anymore. Personally I read her daughters as being young adults, if anything in their very very early 20s.. so while they do not need a second parent, your support won't go unheard.

JEALOUSY:

She handles jealousy very well, actually. If you decide to make her jealous on purpose or try to "test" her, it's going to be a quick end to the relationship. She's looking for someone emotionally mature she knows she can confide in as an equal and she's not going to let you waste her time like that. In the case you are being flirted with and you're not reciprocating, Carmilla is swift to take you away. Though she's.. not very stealthy in coming up with an excuse on why you need to leave. In fact she's quite blunt to the person in telling them to back off, just short of kissing you in front of the other party. Though that's more of her being protective rather than being jealous.

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

Thoughts on this scenario?: Alucard sometime before s3 or during s3 meeting Trevor's older sister (neither of them are aware they have a sibling who survived the massacre) after she show up at the castle knocking on his door with her knife like "WHY is Dracula's castle on top of my family's ruins?!" I think it would be very interesting for both of them. (Especially once Alucard tells her that her little brother is alive.)

A/N: Lol, this is effing hilarious! I can totally just see Alucard watching this woman come out of nowhere and start throwing cheap shot punches and being like: “There’s ANOTHER Belmont??” 

Alucard Meeting Trevor’s Older Sister Headcannons 

So she shows up to what she expected to be nothing more than a pile of ruins only to find said pile of ruins plus a giant ass castle next door. Which makes no sense because 1) Why not repair the Belmont home if someone was going to build something there? And 2) Why choose to make a big ugly-ass castle of all things? 

On the inside, she’s like: ‘Has it really been THAT long?’ (Maybe, lol.) 

Once the initial shock subsided, she’s like, ‘Okay, this thing’s gotta go’ because again, it’s ugly af, and it can’t be good for the open-earthed Belmont Hold to be responsible for supporting all that weight. 

So she goes to the door and starts banging on it like she owns the place. 

Of course, the doors swing open revealing a very disgruntled Alucard. 

Commence the interrogation.

She’s all like: ‘Who the fuck are you?’ 

And he’s like, ‘Um, excuse me, I live here, who the hell are you?’

And she’s like, ‘Well I lived here first!’ 

And Alucard’s like, ‘That’s a very immature argument.’ 

And she’s all like, ‘Oh yeah? You wanna go pip-squeak?’ 

And Alucard’s like ‘I’m literally a foot taller than you.’ 

And she’s like ‘Well fine, that makes you the perfect height for me to do this!’ And she knees him in the groin. 

…

…

Suddenly it clicks for Alucard. “Are you by any chance a Belmont?”

“Yeah, what’s it to ya?” 

Needless to say, the two of them are quite shocked to learn the identity of the other. She’s half in denial that her little brother, if he really is alive, would be friends with a dhampir. And Alucard’s not sure she is Trevor’s sister once they get to talking, mainly because she’s well-spoken and rather intelligent when not she’s not threatening to kick his ass, something Trevor is not. 

But from his descriptions of their battle with Dracula, her gut tells her it really must be her brother Alucard’s speaking of. 

“I take it you didn’t know he was alive, then,” Alucard says. 

She's like, yeah, no shit. 

But she still has a lot of unanswered questions: how did Trevor manage to escape? How did he survive being so young on his own? Why didn’t she hear of his existence until now? 

Alucard doesn’t have all the answers, but he does have good food and wine, so she decides to crash in the castle with him until her brother returns. 

It’s good for Alucard to have the company, mainly because he was starting to lose his mind. (Something she would pick up on like right away lol.) 

But that’s okay because almost being murdered as a kid and then running from place to place fighting the odd supernatural creature has made her a bit crazy so they’re a decent pair. 

Oddly enough, I think they sort of mellow each other out: she’s just hyper/nuts enough to get Alucard to stop wallowing in self-pity. And he’s just cautious and introverted enough to keep her from accidentally (ahem*intentionally*) burning the place down. 

Sure, there’s a lot of ribbing, and witty jokes thrown back and forth between the two of them, but they’d probably form a strong bond based on mutual respect and necessity. Alucard realizes his mental and emotional state will improve if she stays, and she realizes her chances of fulfilling her destiny as a Belmont increase tenfold should she stay and learn from the ‘enemy’ himself. 

Of course, it takes a while for them to overcome their residual prejudices of one another, especially on Belmont’s side. She’s spent her entire life viewing vampires as monsters- something to be eradicated- it’s not exactly something you can unlearn overnight. But Alucard is such an enigma, and the more she hears of his and Trevor’s travels and adventures in defeating Dracula, the more she sees him as human- the more she sees him as a friend, even. 

They get very close. So close that they even think up ways to prank Trevor once he comes back, planning especially to use her existence as the central super-charged element of surprise. 

Who knows, maybe if she was there with Alucard post-S2, things would have turned out more positively with the twins' arrival in S3. If Alucard wasn’t so dependent on them and them alone for companionship, he wouldn’t have been so hesitant to quickly teach them everything they wanted to know as a way to keep them at his castle longer. If Alucard was more open and forthcoming, the twins might have felt encouraged to put all their own cards on the table before making the drastic (and fatal) move that they did. 

Thanks to her existence, any monsters nearby stand no chance against the occupants of the castle and the surrounding villages. With the newfound double-trouble Belmonts, no one ever has to be scared (or lonely) ever again. 

[bung3665]

Some Dynamics and Character Lore From GGZ

Given the title, this won't cover everything, especially the dynamics that are present for GGZ-only characters, but I thought I'd make a post for Hi3 characters that are present in GGZ for those of you who like to draw fanart/write fanfiction. As well as the fact that I like talking about GGZ.

Fair warning: this is going to be long, I have a bad habit of going into too much detail on things like this, so please bear with me.

For this post in particular, I was going to focus on multiple characters but this ended up being so long I relegated to it just being about Kiana and Mei, and more specifically two versions of them. I might make a follow up post for Bronya/Seele/Sin at another time.

Trigger warning for attempted suicide below. I feel like I should include this just in case.

Short introduction but that's all I have to say before diving into the material.

Kiana/Mei

It shouldn't really be a surprise that Kiana's greatest dynamic is with Mei and only Mei. The two are a lot more blatant with their feelings and relationship in GGZ. However, their relationship is also more tumultuous than in Hi3. They are a good example of doomed yuri, besides the ending to the Reborn storyline, which is bittersweet at the least and good at the most.

The writing of GGZ carries the same theme as Honkai 3rd, fighting against the fate of the world and for all that's beautiful. GGZ tends to explore the darker aspects to this setting, often times mixing in heavier themes while doubling down on the struggles of the characters. At times, it can be almost over the top, but I think its cohesive and still a finely crafted story.

It should come as no shocker that Kiamei is the primary ship of GGZ, it's outright confirmed that they love each other at points throughout the story. Sometimes it is for lesbian bait, but on the whole I think their writing is good and the way they rely on each other for support is nice.

Kiana and Mei are more grounded in GGZ, if I had to word it. They're still incredibly resilient, but there are times where they crack mentally. It happens to Kiana more than it does to Mei (save for the last arc, where it's all about Mei suffering), but seeing them work through these things does deepen the bond they have.

Now with all that said, let's move on to the actual content of this post.

Retrospective

Retro is the story you play when you first start the game, this is the "first half" of GGZ's story in some regard. GGZ's story and setting is divided into separate eras, with the main two being Retrospective and Reborn. Era Zero, taking place before both of them, was never fully completed unfortunately.

In Retro, Kiana and Mei initially start off on the wrong foot. Mei is sort of hostile towards Kiana (a result of her becoming a Herrscher) and Kiana is a bit insensitive to Mei on introduction, but after learning about Mei's past, Kiana manages to get through to Mei after their battle and the two make up.

Will put it out there that much like Kiana in the Hi3 mangas and early Hi3 story, she's a perv here. Yet her crush on Mei is a genuine thing.

Things calm down for a while, but when Bronya enters the picture and Mei begins to dote on her like a big sister, Kiana gets a little...possessive, and jealous. She's quite immature when it comes to romance in Retro. And while Mei is more serene about things she does care for Kiana too.

The two have their own unresolved matters, however. For Kiana, it's finding her dad who went missing when she was young (note: Kiana in GGZ is not a clone like in Hi3, this is the real and original Kiana Kaslana). And for Mei, it's regarding Ryoma's sentencing and his ties to Anti-Entropy. The two bring it up at points and reassure each other that they will find their dads which is sweet.

Things take a turn for the worse when Cocolia attacks St. Freya with the Moonlight Throne battleship. When the ship crashes into the church where the furnace containing the core of the second Herrscher is (yeah they stored Sirin's core there), Kiana somewhat fuses with the core and has a complete mental breakdown when Cocolia reveals the truth about Siegfried and how Kiana murdered him when she accidentally became a Herrscher while young.

This causes Kiana to become a Herrscher due to the rising amounts of Honkai energy in her body. If you're wondering about Cocolia, she dies by heading into the Honkai furnace and gets swallowed up by all the Honkai.

Kiana kills everyone after becoming the Herrscher of Finality (or Herrscher of The End, Final Herrscher etc), and the last person she kills is Mei.

It's a sad scene through and through, and the CGs are great. Even more so because at the end, when Kiana and Mei are floating above the world, Kiana still cries while the world ends.

See you in the next world originates from this scene. Very good piece of music.

So what happens after? The world ends, Mei and everyone die, but what happens to Kiana?

Kiana became a puppet for the Honkai, even after the initial catastrophe that occurred at St. Freya, small groups of people managed to survive the world-wide Honkai eruption. But they too would be wiped out by Kiana.

She didn't move, she didn't think anymore, and she had no emotion. Only when the Honkai needed her to kill whatever remnants of civilization rose up did she move.

This carried on for hundreds of years, or tens of thousands, but by the end Kiana had killed all of humanity.

And then she regained her consciousness and was faced with the reality of how many she had killed and how much blood she had spilled. To save herself from the suffering she tried to end her life, but because she was a Herrscher, she was immortal.

No one could kill Kiana, not even Kiana herself. When Kiana realized this fact she gave up all resistance. She deluded her mind with memories of the past and paralyzed herself on the spear she had impaled herself with, until the day Honkai disappeared from the world.

Quite the terrible end. I won't be covering Reborn in this post, but I thought it would be cool to write about the Fire Moth DLC side story, since their relationship in that story builds off of Retro.

Fire Moth

To understand Kiana and Mei's relationship in Fire Moth, you first need an understanding of the setting. The events of Fire Moth happen during Reborn's story, during the story chapters as a matter of fact.

But Fire Moth itself technically takes place in a stigma space where the world has turned desolate five years after Kiana became a Herrscher and destroyed everything. It should be noted that this is the world contained in the stigma space, so the setting of the story is not taking place in the real world. The backstories and characters are acting upon how they were in Retro (and were materialized by Kyuushou's memories of them).

This is Kyuushou's stigmata space, and she has the stigmata of both Kiana and Mei from Retro. Hence why this world bears so much familiarity to Retro.

Most life on the surface is dead, and the survivors in Nagazora have banded together to form the organization "Fire Moth", or "Moth Who Chases The Flame", under the leadership of an older Bronya.

Houraiji Kyuushou is the protagonist of Fire Moth, and you play through the story as her amnesiac self. Kiana is still the Final Herrscher, and rather than a being who is carrying out the Honkai's will endlessly, or someone who still has enough emotion and humanity to cry, this Kiana has gone deep into nihilism and has become devoid of most emotion.

This is a Kiana who knows what happened thousands of years ago and guilt has eaten away at her and left her with nothing.

CG of Kiana when Kyuushou first meets her in a dream.

To get a good idea of what Kiana and Mei are going through in Fire Moth, how about this short conversation I machine-translated. Might be inaccurate, I don't know Chinese that well! But hopefully it helps. Some of it has been taken from Guns Girl Z Cutscene Interpreter as well, I translated some of the text that was still in Chinese.

(Mei's text is purple, and Kiana's is blue).

Mei…what would you do if the world didn't fall apart?

If it hadn't collapsed...

I would probably have been like an ordinary girl, studying something I like, enrolling in a university I wished to go to, and then starting my own family, and walking through a happy and uneventful life with the person I love.

Kiana, what about you?

For me…as long as I'm with Mei, I'm already satisfied.

Really…don't say such embarrassing things...If it's Kiana then there must be something more worthy of pursuing.

If it's the old me…I do have hundreds of wishes I want to fulfill...

I wanted to attend the same school as Mei, eat our bento together under a cherry blossom tree, and spend our entire lunch break lazily.

I want to travel around the world with Mei, take pictures of us in beautiful landscapes, and keep our figures in a precious photo album forever.

I want to build a small cabin by the sea with Mei, watch the tide rise and fall together, collect seashells on the sand blown by the sea breeze together, and then fall asleep under the embrace of the moonlight.

There are so many more wishes…well there are so many more plans too..

But now…

I just want to stay by your side quietly like this forever.

Mei...please give me your hand.

Yes...

If it's possible, will you stay with me until the end of the world?

Kiana…thank you.

Thank you for loving me so much. For protecting me so much.

But both of us, no, we all, we all understand.

That this is a long-cherished wish that simply cannot be fulfilled.

Because...because all of it...has been destroyed by your hands.

Every promise has been turned into ash... and we can never go back.

I'm so sorry Kiana...I'm so sorry.

It's time for us to say our farewells...

(Kiana alone with Mei's ribbon).

...

I understand.

In fact, I understand it better than anyone.

This is the mistake I made...I've destroyed our future with my own hands.

Such an ending is the best punishment for me.

Alone in a world without you. Even death is too kind for me.

(There's a little bit more to this scene, but it's not relevant to this post).

During the final battle between Kiana and Mei (they're both in the same nihilistic and existential boat here, so naturally they are the two overarching antagonists), when Mei falls in battle, Kiana bids her farewell and calls Mei her "only regret".

At the end of Fire Moth, Kyuushou manages to reignite Kiana's wish from forty-two thousand years ago, which was to bring hope to the world. What Kiana was chasing all this time was a sliver of hope in a world that gave her none.

Kiana relinquishes her existence after their battle, so she along with Mei disappear from the world entirely. No one remembers them and nobody recognizes their names. Kyuushou remarks that Kiana's dream was to live in a world without Honkai, a sentiment echoed by both Kiana and Mei.

Fun fact: if you 100% all of Fire Moth, you get this wonderful CG of the two.

Conclusion

If you made it this far, thanks. I'm a bit out of my element when writing things like this, so if you have any questions on anything I'd be happy to answer them. I appreciate GGZ a lot, so making this was fun and I hope I can do more of it for the others.

I have a nagging feeling this was a bit too long, so I apologize for that. I ended up explaining a lot of GGZ's lore when this was mainly supposed to be about relationship dynamics...oops.

But to summarize, Kiana and Mei's relationship isn't entirely different from what they have in Hi3, but just like in Hi3 they have their own struggles and nuances. Mostly in the formed of doomed yuri but that's beside the point. I like their relationship in GGZ, at times its as simple as a few exchanges before a battle, and at others its the crux of the story itself.

With all that being said, I hope you enjoyed the read!!