#her insurance literally had the nerve

[wonhes]

“and why did u take so long to file a claim?” bc i was told i had to wait for the damn police report and they finally gave it to me do NOT piss me off.

[piastappies]

would you maybe write an smau (oscar x norris or leclerc!reader) where the reader is just super clumsy and everyone makes fun of that?

ᯓᡣ𐭩 SUCH A KLUTZ ! ᡣ𐭩ᯓ

pairing. oscar piastri x leclerc!reader

summary. in which reader can’t walk straight to save her life and formula fans (as well as some of the drivers) find it extremely amusing, while her boyfriend is the greenest flag of all time.

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, francisca.cgomes, charles_leclerc and 89 623 others.

yourusername rumour has it that the best couple on grid is enjoying the summer break and the rumors are TRUE! though it is also said that the girl in third slide fell off the scooter and got a concussion so her boyfriend took her phone away for three days — this may or may not be true!

view all comments!

user1 oscar is so whipped the guy is the first like whenever she posts something 😭😭

user2 i know ehic isnt a thing in monaco unfortunately but my other european girlies please remember to get yourself an ehic card if you travel across europe it can save you a lot of nerves if you injury yourself on vacay 😭😭😭

priniya european girlies always remember to have a valid european health insurance card! <3

oscarpiastri she might say its not true but it is 👎👎 the girl almost gave me a heart attack

landonorris yourusername someone should lock you up because at this rate youre gonna hurt yourself by breathing

yourusername im having a brat summer ☹️

arthur_leclerc dont think its how it works lutin

francisca.cgomes rumour has it that she didn’t take her girlfriend with her to her trip

lilymhe rumour has it that she broke her other girlfriend’s heart

yourusername NOOOO IM SORRY 😭😭😭 LET ME MAKE IT UP WHEN THE BREAK ENDS

marverstappen1 girl how do you even function with that clumsy brain of yours?

yourusername kellypiquet please tell p that max is making fun of me because i got hurt

kellypiquet she’s making you a card rn

maxverstappen1 our house turned into a glitterlandia because of that card

yourusername I LOVE HER SO MUCH

user3 i honestly cant wait for the pyn reunion in zandvoort 🥹🥹🥹

yourusername same shes my true one 👊👊

charles_leclerc oscarpiastri take your aussie hands off my baby sister or ill crash into you in zandvoort 😁

charles_leclerc for legal purpose this may or may not be a joke

yourusername crash into him and i’ll do something worse than have his hands on me and make you watch

francisca.cgomes

liked by pierregasly, alexandrasaintmleux, charles_leclerc and 432 621 others.

francisca.cgomes a girls night gone wrong…

— tagged alexandrasaintmleux, yourusername

view all comments!

user4 i bet my LIFE that yn had to go to the er 😭😭😭

pierregasly THIS is what you meant by a surprise??????

francisca.cgomes surprise . . . 😦

alexandrasaintmleux it was fun while it lasted . . .

user5 WHY DOES THE COMMENTS SEEM LIKE YN DIED WHERE IS HER COMMENT

user6 yn rn 💀🪦🪦

user7 you are not funny! hope that helps ❤️

charles_leclerc girl where is my sister 😭😭😭😭

yourusername WHY ARE YALL ACTING LIKE I DIED?????

user8 SHES ALIVE YOU GUYS

oscarpiastri kika you were supposed to bring her back in one piece?

francisca.cgomes sorry it was not my fault

francisca.cgomes literally not my fault this time a guy bumped into her shoulder and she fell 😭😭😭

yourusername i sprained my ankle :(

alexandrasaintmleux we still love you 🫶

user9 ngl i would give my leg to be a part of this friendship

user10 same

landonorris petition to keep yourusername locked in a cage

user11 😧😧😧

yourusername you gotta catch me first 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

pierregasly i second this

lilymhe i third

alexandrasaintmleux ily yn but i fourth ☹️

twitter !

user13 WHEN ITS GONNA BE MY TURN???

user14 i need an oscar in my life but idk if i wanna be yn 😭

user15 you r so real for that oomf

user16 ngl i wish i could be oscar to be with yn

user17 god just knew that if she made yn flawless she would be too much for mortals

user18 she ?

user17 god is a woman and her name is pascale leclerc 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

user19 LMAO

lando.jpg

liked by alex_albon, yourusername, logansargeant and 772 812 others.

lando.jpg never accept an invitation from yourusername for a dinner at her house because there’s a 100% chance she’s gonna burn herself while making you food

view all comments!

oscarpiastri shouldnt have invited YOU

lando.jpg ??? MEAN ???

oscarpiastri dont make fun of my clumsy girlfriend

yourusername when he’s protective ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

yourusername i burnt myself while YOU ALL WERE LAUGHING

user20 oscar was laughing too?😭

arthur_leclerc he was glaring at everyone laughing while looking after yn

user21 oscar is the bestest boyfriend possible i need an oscar in my life

user22 yourusername can you fight?

yourusername i have three older brothers, go figure it out

user22 (｡•́︿•̀｡)

charles_leclerc cant believe they didn’t invite ME and they invited YOU

arthur_leclerc she invited me and enzo LOL

user23 lando.jpg comeback to make fun of oscars gf 😭😭😭

charles_leclerc SHE WAS MY SISTER FIRST

user24 yn is a klutz first human second

oscarpiastri

liked by pascale_leclerc, nicolepiastri, yourusername and 921 728 others.

oscarpiasti a few things that summer break gave me: a dog (yes, i’m officially a dog dad), relaxing time with my friends n family, a fiancée and lots of headaches due to the clumsiness of my gorgeous fiancée.

view all comments!

yourusername i love youuuuuu

hattiepiastri THIS IS HOW I FIND OUT???

hattiepiastri yourusername YOURE MARRYING MY BROTHER????

hattiepiastri HOW DID THAT HAPPEN??

yourusername i flipped a coin

georgerussell63 it probably hit you in the face too, no?

user25 IMAGINE THE FAMILY GATHERINGS???

user26 hold on is oscar gonna go there as charles’ son or yn’s throphy husband??

user27 the family dynamics must be crazy??? because wdym his girlfriend’s brother ADOPTED him??

oscarpiasti fiancee’s*

user27 oh hes not playing

user28 this gon be soooo awkward at the family dinner

yourusername BURN THE PAPERS charles_leclerc HES MINE NOW

charles_leclerc HE WAS MINE FIRST

nicolepiastri i’m pretty sure he was mine first 🥰

pascale_leclerc now we have to share children nicolepiastri

landonorris love you guys but you shouldn’t have a wedding because with yns abilities she might turn the party into a funeral

mclaren so glad to have yn in the mclaren family! 🧡

user29 engagement this engagement that we KNEW you would tie the knot sooner or later WHAT IS THE DOGS NAME 🗣️🗣️🗣️

oscarpiastri pepper :)

user30 yn and lorenzo both engaged in 2024?? leclerc siblings are going STRONG

lewishamilton congratulations to you guys 💚💚

sebastianvettel lots of love and patience with that one, oscar :)

user31 not the girls not congratulating oscyn… fake friends?

user32 gtfo they prob knew abt it already and congratulated them IN PERSON and not in instagram photo comments

francocolapinto lost my chance 😞😔😭😭😢

user33 LMAOOO??? bro saw her at ONE (1) race and fell in love

user34 honestly cant blame him

user35 pls never media train him

yourusername pls franco never change 🫶

pierregasly pls dont elope i need that free food

yukitsunoda0511 dude youre a MILLIONAIRE?

pierregasly dude gtfo

yukitsunoda0511 if i were them i would elope just to spite you

oscarpiastri dont give yn any ideas pls

yourusername no eloping for us i need my brothers to walk me down the aisle 😁😁😁

georgerussell63 to make sure you don’t trip over the dress?

yourusername youre officially uninvited 👎

user36 SHE WANTS CHARLES ENZO AND ARTHUR WALKING HER DOWN THE AISLE??? OH IM GONNA KILL MYSELF

[lexiputellas]

Car Kiss

The moment your car collides with his, two things hit you harder than the airbag that just exploded in your face:

1. This was absolutely not your fault. (Technically.)

2. You did not deserve this.

For a second, everything is still. Your hands are locked around the wheel, heart pounding so hard you can feel it in your throat. The scent of burnt fabric and chemicals fills the car, the deployed airbag sagging pathetically in your lap like it just gave up on life.

Then—

"Are you fucking serious right now?!"

A voice—loud, pissed, and very much alive—cuts through your haze.

Your pulse stumbles.

Right. The other driver.

Slowly, stiffly, you peel your fingers off the wheel, every nerve in your body still humming with leftover adrenaline. The heat outside is relentless, pressing against the windshield, turning the inside of the car into an oven. Your skin feels sticky, your dress clinging uncomfortably as you try to process the disaster you just walked into.

You force yourself to move. The door groans as you push it open, and the second you step out, the sun slams into you like it's personally offended by your existence.

The man standing by the other car is fuming.

He's tall, broad, dressed in a crisp white button-down that’s now slightly wrinkled—probably from the sheer force of his frustration. His tie is loosened, his hands are on his head, and his expression is pure disbelief.

"You weren’t even looking!" he accuses, waving a hand toward the wreckage like it’s some kind of crime scene.

You inhale slowly, adjusting your sunglasses, trying to summon even a shred of calm. "Okay, first of all—let’s not jump to accusations."

His nostrils flare. "Look. At. My. Car."

You do.

And—okay. Yeah. It’s… seen better days. The bumper is hanging on by a miracle, the front crumpled in like a crushed soda can.

Then you turn to Alexia’s car.

And feel actual fear for the first time.

The front end looks exhausted. Like it’s seen things and would like to never be perceived again. The airbag is fully deployed, slumped over the steering wheel in silent, tragic judgment. The scent of burnt chemicals still lingers in the air.

You swallow hard. Maybe you should’ve just stayed home today.

"Are you even listening?!" the guy snaps, dragging a hand down his face. "You literally just crashed into me, and you’re acting like—"

"Okay, I hear you," you interrupt, forcing a smile. "I do. But, like… have you ever tried deep breathing? It’s amazing for stressful situations."

His eye twitches. "We're calling insurance."

You're already pulling out your phone. "Great idea!"

Of course, you’re not calling insurance.

You're calling her.

Alexia picks up after two rings.

"Bebé” Her voice is soft, familiar, but there’s an edge to it—like she already knows.

You hesitate.

The airbag. The crumpled hood. The fact that this isn’t even your car.

"Before I say anything," you start, voice syrupy sweet, "just know that I love you."

Silence.

Then—

"What did you do?"

You glance at the guy, who is still pacing beside his ruined car, muttering something that sounds suspiciously like legal threats.

You wince. "Hypothetically speaking, if something happened to your car—"

The silence sharpens.

"—not saying it did, but if it had a little accident—"

"Define ‘little.’"

You peek back at the scene. The wreckage. The airbag’s limp, tragic existence. The guy still looking like he’s one second away from suing you for emotional distress.

"Like… a kiss. A car kiss. Just a very unfortunate, high-speed one."

"You said you needed my car for work."

"I did. And I used it so responsibly. Except for this… one tiny—okay, medium—moment."

She exhales, long and sharp. "Is it bad?"

You hesitate. "...Define bad?"

"Is it drivable?"

"Technically."

"Is anything hanging off?"

"...Define ‘hanging.’"

"You’re actually unreal."

"It’s mostly cosmetic!" you argue. "Like, it still looks like a car! Just… also like it needs a nap. And a therapist."

"Where are you?"

"Outside work. I just parked. But the guy’s yelling about insurance and—wait, hold on—" You lower the phone. "Sir, are we exchanging info, or are you just gonna keep pacing?"

He glares. "Someone’s paying for this."

You sigh, lifting the phone back. "Ale, babe. Help."

"Send me a picture."

"...Are you sure? Wouldn’t you rather hear about it first?"

"Now."

The call ends.

You groan and snap a photo of the wreckage. Then, because you’re already in deep shit, you send another one.

Of your boobs—one of the many emergency nudes you keep saved, because honestly, who doesn’t have a backup plan?

Her reply is immediate.

Alexia:

You are actually deranged.

A few more seconds. Then—

Alexia:

I’m leaving training. Stay there.

Uh-oh.

Fifteen minutes later, an SUV pulls up fast.

Too fast.

The tires bite into the pavement, rolling to a sharp, precise stop. The door swings open, and she steps out.

And suddenly, the heat of the sun feels second to the way she carries herself.

Alexia looks dangerous in the way only someone completely in control can. She’s still in her training gear—dark compression shorts hugging her legs, a fitted Barça tee damp with sweat. Her hair is tied back, loose strands framing her face in a way that should not look as good as it does. She shuts the car door with purpose, her sharp gaze sweeping the scene like she’s assessing an opponent.

First, the damage.

Then, the guy.

Then, you.

You smile delicately, clasping your hands together like the very picture of innocence. "Hi, my love."

"Are you hurt?"

The question takes you by surprise.

You blink. "Huh?"

Her eyes soften—just barely. "Are you hurt?" she repeats.

Your stomach does something weird.

You clear your throat. "No. Just—bruised ego."

She nods once, accepting that, before turning to the guy.

"We’ll handle this through insurance," she states, her tone cool, absolute.

The guy, who had previously been full of righteous anger, suddenly looks… uncertain. "Well, yeah, obviously, but—"

"Give me your details," she cuts in, leaving zero room for argument. "The tow truck is already on its way. We’ll handle the paperwork."

You glance at your phone, realizing you missed the call she must’ve made while driving.

The guy hesitates, then sighs in defeat. "Fine."

Alexia doesn’t waste another second. She turns to you, jaw tight. "Passenger seat."

You hesitate. "I can explai—"

"Passenger. Seat."

Your stomach flips.

Something about the way she says it—calm, but final—sends a thrill through you. You don’t argue this time.

The tow truck arrives as you settle in, the driver stepping out and immediately greeting Alexia with a handshake. She’s already handling it, already making the process smooth, efficient. You watch her through the windshield, chin propped on your hand.

Eventually, she gets back in. Silence settles between you as she pulls onto the road. It lingers for a while, heavy with everything that just happened.

Inside the car, you watch her, awed despite yourself. The way she carries herself. The way people listen to her. Honestly, kind of hot for someone who’s about to yell at you.

You reach over, fingers brushing against hers on the console. Her grip loosens slightly.

"You're mad," you murmur.

She exhales through her nose. "You sent me nudes after crashing my car."

You grin. "Did it help?"

Her lips twitch—just slightly. "You're impossible."

You smile. "But you’re not mad about the boobs, right?" A pause. Then, carefully—

"You crash my car and send me nudes." She shakes her head, half in disbelief, half in something else you can’t quite place. "Honestly. Who raised you?"

You shrug. "A woman with taste."

A pause. Then, carefully—

"Your driving privileges are suspended."

You gasp. "You can’t do that."

"Watch me."

"Babe. My freedom."

She glances over, lips twitching. "I’ll think about it."

You grin, leaning in, voice low, teasing. "I can be very persuasive."

She hums, eyes still on the road but amusement curling at the edges of her mouth.

[ms-demeanor]

Can you talk more about why chiropractic practice is on your shit list? Im also curious about why you dislike reflexology

Both are fake and lies, neither works, and chiropractic can literally kill you.

Chiropractic is actively dangerous (can cause strokes VERY easily, do not ever let a chiropractortouch your neck), less effective for musculoskeletal pain than massage (and much less effective than physical therapy) and i am deeply, DEEPLY offended that jackasses who get a degree in fake nerve science call themselves "doctor" and kill people by convincing them to delay cancer treatment or injure kids by convincing parents that asthma is the result of subluxation.

It certainly doesn't help that a chiropractor broke one of my lumbar vertebrae by doing spinal manipulation after diagnosing a subluxation because she diagnosed it by pushing on my back with her fingers instead of doing imaging and the imaging would have shown the bone tumor that became the center of the fracture.

But, like, I hated chiropractors before that, it's just that she was literally my only choice for pain management because i didn't have medical insurance at 25 so i went to see her because i could afford it and have had to periodically rely on mobility aids ever since.

Reflexology is just massage with lies on top, but it still has potential to do real harm if people trust their reflexologists and delay treatment of illness in favor of nonsense ear poking.

[mirroredmemoriez]

Amanda Young's physical pain and more pain

Not saying anything new here once again, but the shit Amanda goes through throughout the entire franchise is depressing. Right now, I'm mainly looking at the physical aspect than the mental? But I'll probably mention that too as I always do. What brought this thought on was when I was doing some reference work for her and Lynn's deleted fight! We as a fandom always joke about how she's enjoying it because she at some points smirks and giggles... But the ending shot of that sequence is what I want to hone in on.

This is a defeated woman. She's just been attacked and cut up- There is as much terror as adrenaline in a humans body in a scenario like this. But this isn't even the first time whilst working under Jigsaw that Amanda has had someone harm or even attempt to kill her.

The first one I've shown is of course Cecilia Pederson backhanding Amanda to the floor- Which honestly, this scene is overall horrible as Amanda also during this period has to watch Gabriela get her neck stomped! But it could've been worse in theory... When putting John into the blood-board trap, Parker suggests putting her on the other end. If Carlos never was there, it's very likely that Amanda would've been blood boarded alongside John. We then have the very famous needle pit. There was no way to predict how anyone in the nerve gas house would react to their circumstances and due to that? Amanda inherently to me was always in danger. This is displayed quite well when she's tossed into a test not meant for her... I think it's the somewhat carelessness of this which is the most upsetting aspect? John had her in there to monitor Daniel and subdue him once the game was done. But what actual protection did Amanda have from anyone in there? We even see her try and take the gun from the magnum eyehole trap unsuccessfully.

Like imagine the guy who's like 6 foot and muscle that just tossed you into a PIT OF NEEDLES... IS CHASING YOU WITH A KNIFE. You're also quite aware that this man certainly killed the other guy you just saw with a spiked bat in his head. I'd be bricking it. Anyway, that same kid you had to insure stayed safe? Yeah his father who wrongfully imprisoned you is gonna beat you till one half of your face is just blood. OH HE'S ALSO GOING TO BITE YOU AND ATTEMPT TO STAB YOU TO DEATH.

The only reason you survive? Because he's already previously injured and you use that to your advantage. We're not done though! Amanda's mentor slash father figure is dying and she is getting basically blackmailed but that's not the only thing she needs to have on the mind- Because we have Lynn running up on her with a blade, supposedly to have a nice chat.

And I even made a poll asking people on this site... Do you think Lynn would've killed Amanda? Yes was the majority answer. We know that at least one of these slashes actually catches Amanda because she is bleeding by the end of this. Not to mention, Lynn was not messing around whatsoever? She throws what I think is an axe at Amanda at one point and also tries to kick her head in against the locker things... Which she did after failing to get a swing with said axe to Amanda's head. With all of this, it kinda pushes me to think that Amanda attempts to physically intimidate and scare Lynn a lot because she is aware being attacked is quite possible. For example, the scene that is kept in where Amanda literally hands Lynn the axe, ''I'd go for the neck- But I'm not the brain surgeon.'' She is clearly letting Lynn know during this that if you try and fight with me, you're screwed! All of these factors are against you. Then coming back to the deleted scene? None of these warnings have dissuaded Lynn from going, ''I'LL FUCKING YOU!'' Whatsoever really. So rounding it back up to the first image I presented.... I think Amanda is just fucking tired. How are you meant to have been healed and helped if you're getting the smackdown special every other some weeks to months. In literally every game she's been physically present for- She has been harmed physically too. It's traumatic, it's draining and it well... HURTS. I know the healing process from when Eric smashed her head into a wall multiple times wasn't nice either. AND AND AND AND AND AND!!!! Amanda doesn't even get peace with death, seeing as she dies in a very violet manner too. We watch her choke on her own blood after being shot in the throat..... Reaching out for the same man who put her through all of this really. Anyway.... HAPPY MANDY MONDAY FROM MAL!

[astarioffsimpmain]

Hello, this is me asking for any Gale comfort you might know of or you personally enjoy. I really need some right now.

Pet health and person health tw below:

Today has been shitty, literally, and figuratively. My cat has had diarrhea all day, and I've been so stressed and worried about her. My nerves are so fried. She has an appointment tomorrow that my best friend has offered to take her to because there's no guarantee my body will allow me 3 good days in a row. Thank God for my best friend.

I won't meet the deadline tonight for health insurance (can't find any that covers my specialist that I can afford anyway), so my coverage won't start in February, which means another month of hoping there's nothing seriously wrong with me until I can get a colonoscopy.

My blood pressure has to be astronomical right now.

[effy-writes]

Addict (Blitz x Reader)

7: CHERUB: Wack The Hell Out Of ‘Em

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The group was flipping through the channels, trying to figure out what to watch.

You didn't look so good, occasional tremors, couldn't stop scratching yourself, and very noticeable eye bags were seen. You haven't been doing drugs since that one incident during spring break, but you're slowly falling back into the hole. You can't get ahold of anything because Blitz is always keeping an eye on you.

The years of doing drugs still left a number on your body/face. You were still thin because the stimulants fucked up your stomach so you get full easily. Your face had scratch scars on them from meth binges, and your teeth well…some were missing and chipped. You hated yourself for doing this, you hate your parents, and you hate the circus. If it wasn’t for greed then you wouldn’t be going through withdrawals at work. If it wasn’t for greed then Blitz wouldn’t have to be up your ass all the time (literally too).

Your head rested on the cold table. It cooled your skin, helping with the low grade fever you had. Even though you were still shaking, the temperature of the table soothed you. The table rumbled, making you raise your head up in a very annoyed way.

"Guys... do you feel that?" Loona questioned as her ears perked up.

"Oh, shit! Is that a hellshake?" Blitz jumped up.

You rolled your eyes, "Those don't exist."

"That's possible?" Moxxie added.

"No, Moxxie. Blitz is just an asshole." You spat.

"Hey!" Blitz pointed his finger at you before losing his balance due to the shake.

"Don't panic, Moxxie!" Millie put her hands on her husband's shoulders.

"I'm not panicking because hellquakes don't happen."

"STOP GETTING HYSTERICAL, FATTY!" Loona shook him.

Everyone flinched whenever the wall was tore down. You dusted yourself off and looked at the new hole.

"Oh goddamnit, I just scrubbed the hell out of that wall!"

A hybrid robotic guy stepped out, "Do not be afraid!"

"Please tell me you got that insurance thing." Blitz groaned.

Millie grabbed her axe and was ready to attack this older fellow, "Who are you, and what do you want!"

"I am Loopty Goopty! Dastardly inventor of all things loopy and loopiiiiiish!"

"Loopy Goopty?" You asked Millie, the two of you snickering.

"Coulda just used the door, dude. Doesn't need to be this whole thing." Loona acknowledge.

"Ugh! This old fuck reeks of the living world. Did you just die?" Blitz crossed his arms.

"Yes! Moments ago, in fact! Which is what brought me here!"

"Just sayin'... the front door would've gotten you here fine." Loona pulled out her phone and started typing.

"Shut up, dear furry!"

You couldn't contain your laughter, Loona growled and pointed at you. "Hey! You're going to clean this shit up so I don't know why you're laughing!"

Loopy showed Blitz the man that he wants them to kill, "Not even a shit's length of time in Hell and already plotting revenge. I can respect a man with that sort of passion! I'm Blitzo, the "O" is silent."

"What O?"

"Aww thank you, now what's the tea, sis?"

During their interaction, Moxxie was shouting for help in which nobody helped him. You looked around and sighed, walking over to Moxxie and tried picking up the debris. You obviously struggled to get it off.

"You can use your strength to fight a fish but not to pick up a wall?"

You slumped your shoulders.

"Sorry, I can tell I hit a nerve there."

You didn't say anything and finally lifted up the debris with a grunt.

"Alright Y/n, you're coming with us to kill this guy!" Blitz pulled you away.

"Blitz-"

He pulled you closer to him and whispered, "I don't want you to do drugs so I'm forcing you to go," He gritted.

~~~

The four imps put on some shitty disguises and found their way to Lyle's mansion.

"Gee! I wonder whose house this is." Moxxie said with sarcasm.

"Let's do this, gang!" Blitz demanded.

The three imps was spying on him through the window, (you on the other hand wasn’t even looking out the window, you didn’t even wanna be here).

"That machine really did a number on him." Moxxie acknowledged.

Lyle tied the tubes that were connected to him into a noose before putting it around his neck.

"Oh, fantastic! He's gonna do our job for us!" Blitz rejoiced, looking over at you, whose back was against the wall, not looking in.

"Don't want to see him kill himself?" He joked.

"Not really, no."

A blast of light blinded the main four. "What the fuck?" You uncovered your eyes.

"Who the fuck are they?" Blitz coughed.

"Oh no, they're-"

"Cherubs, Mr. Lyle!" They interrupted Moxxie.

"I hate filthy orphan children!"

"We're here to convince you not to kill yourself sir!"

Blitz angrily stood up and made his way into the house, "Oh, HEEEELL no!"

Moxxie and Millie followed Blitz. You didn't care about this whole thing, you just wanted to leave. You're not even pissed that you can't get stimulants, pissed that you have to be here trying to kill someone. Not because of your morals, you don't give a fuck about killing, but it's because you think you're not capable of doing so without stimulants.

The 3 imps and the 3 cherubs rolled Lyle's bed outside to see nature. Blitz realized that you weren't with them.

"Y/n!" He yelled.

You groaned and walked over to the others, "Here, dad."

"Hey now, we both agreed for you to call me that on the full moon."

Everyone turned their heads and stared at you two with horror on their faces.

"What? Fucking prudes." Blitz scoffed.

"Look around, Lyle. God's gift of nature is a wonder to behold, regardless of age!" One of the Cherubs beamed.

"Mm-hm. You're gonna buy that load of shit from a baby and the sheep it fucks?" Blitz laughed.

Keenie gasped, "That is so inappropriate!"

"Aaaanyway, take it from me, a fellow genius. Nature is no picnic up close." Blitz pulled out binoculars and handed it to Lyle. There was some animals gnawing at one another. The Cherubs was trying to take it away from him but he won't budge.

"I can't stop! I never wanted to die more than ever now!"

The Cherubs try to keep convincing Lyle to not kill himself by taking him to the mall and Lovers Lookout, but the imps (other than you) were trying to point out all of the bad things about these places.

Blitz caught on soon enough, Millie and Moxxie don't know what's going on between the two of you. Neither Blitz nor you has mentioned the drug addictions and what happened during Spring Break. The only thing Millie and Moxxie know was that you were in rehab.

They all ended up watching an opera. You were actually pretty relaxed about this opera, you enjoy them oddly enough.

"So... how do we make this bad?" Millie questioned.

"We can't. There's literally nothing bad about opera. That's fact."

"I actually agree with you, Mox." You spoke.

He gasped, "You like operas!"

"I do."

"Enough of the chit chatter, I have an idea on how to make it bad." Blitz said mischievously.

Blitz kept messing with the light and the opera singer, before you know it, it ended up falling and crushing the poor woman. Your's and Moxxie's jaws dropped.

The Cherubs angrily fly up to the imps. "That's it! I have had it! We're just trying to do our jobs!"

"And so are we!" Moxxie yelled.

"Enough!" He drew a golden bow and arrow, "We are saving that shitty old man's life, whether he wants it or not!"

"Well, someone wants that fucker dead, m'kay? And he paid in advance, and I spent it all on this jewelry, so he's gotta go!" Blitz yelled back.

The Cherubs started to fight the main three. You felt like you needed to help since you haven't done jack shit today. A wooden rod caught your eye, deciding to use that to possibly hit one of the Cherubs.

You stood on the rail of the catwalk and saw Cleatus in the air, getting ready to fight Blitz. You took a deep breath and jumped off, swinging the wooden rod directly to his face. The Cherub screamed as he flew across.

Oh shit I haven't thought this through. Gravity pushed you down and right before you fell onto the bloodied up stage somebody grabbed your leg.

"Way to go, Y/n!" Blitz shouted. He used his momentum to swing back onto the catwalk and hoisted you up.

Blitz lost his balanced and dropped you directly on top of him. "I know you like to be on top but can you get up?" He teased.

"Right, sorry." You stood up, reaching your hand to help him up but he didn't take it.

The two got off of the crosswalk and saw Lyle lying dead.

"Guess the Cherubs did the job for us." You laughed.

"You know...you should seriously become an assassin with us."

"I don't know Blitz...I barely did anything. Just wack 'em with a broom."

"We can teach you, I can teach you." He placed his hands on your shoulders.

"I need the strength, Blitz. I need the stamina, the energy."

Blitz knew what you were getting at. "Y/n...you don't need stimulants. I saw you jump and swung the hell out of that fucker. I believe in you." He reassured, lips curling into a soft smile.

You slowly nodded your head to agree. "Thanks, Blitz."

You partially agree with him, you may not need stimulants, but you believe that you'll be better if you do them.

~~~

"Welp, the old man wanted to live again and we didn't kill him, so we failed. Thanks to those fuckin' cherubs, he's probably up in Heaven now, so... It's a shame. All our client wanted was eternal revenge on his business partner. And now the two are forever separated, and now we gotta face the fire of fuckin' up." He sighed.

"Sir... when are you going to tell the client?" Moxxie asked.

Blitz held up his phone, "Oh, I already sent him a text, and... we're in good hands, 'cause texts don't make people angry."

Everyone heard yelling in the distance. A metal escalator crashed into a different part of the wall. The debris falling on top of Moxxie again with Lyle Lipton stepping out.

"Lyle Lipton?" Millie and Blitz yelled.

"I don't understand. We thought you went to Heaven." Millie raised her eyebrow.

"Heaven?! You don't make millions in technological advances in robotics by NOT experimenting on the poor!" Lyle laughed.

"Oh, you no-good, HEARTLESS son of a BITCH" Loopty turned to Blitz, "Thank you for reuniting me with my best friend!"

"The only question now is what do two old genius robotic inventors do now that we're in Hell?" Lyle questioned.

Wally crashes through the ceiling, and the two robotic (possibly lovers) had smiles that reached ear to ear.

"Everyone, STOP FUCKIN' UP MY WALLS! Moxxie's gonna have to fix all this shit!"

"Me? Y/n is the janitor!"

"Not anymore, Mox! This bitch got promoted!"

"I guess... you can say, you say, you have a... holey operation here, Blitzo!" Wally pointed to the open wall and laughed.

"Get out." Blitz deadpanned.

Wally and the two possibly robotic lovers exchanged looks.

"No, I'm serious. Get the FUCK OUT!"

The three left, damaging another wall.

"Y/n got promoted?" Millie cheered. "Since when?"

"Since today! Y/n, you're our new assassin!" Blitz gave you a drawn certificate that is filled with horse drawings and says, "Cumgrats."

"Sir, does Y/n know how to fight?"

"Nope! But she sure can wack the hell out of things." He ruffled your hair.

"Please stop messing with my hair."

[emeraldsandamethyst]

This isn't going anywhere. Too many possibilities for literally everything. So here have a scrap, working title: library problems

--

AN: idk what the library name that Babs works at is called so I made one up.

—

Barbara Gordon was at work. Her day job of librarian at Gotham Library East, not her night job of Oracle, the nerve center of the entire bat clan. Someone Babs didn't recognize entered. They studied the collection of local class notices and other such things.

It was a solid ten minutes before they approached the counter and spoke up.

"Hi, Excuse me? I'm Danny." Danny said with an awkward little wave. His accent was Midwest. "I'm here for the rogue class? I think. Please tell me that's a thing and my neighbor didn't just make me look crazy. I couldn't find it on the notice board."

"Welcome to the Gotham Public Library East, Danny. And your neighbor wasn't yanking your chain. The Rogue Safety class is, indeed, a thing. And it's even today. Though not scheduled for another two hours." Barbara said with reassurance. She hadn't noticed this guy's arrival. Not necessarily alarming, she didn't stay hyper vigilant at work.

"Oh man, thank you Six B," Danny said, thanking his absent neighbor with a relieved sigh. He smiled, not showing any teeth. "That's fine. If I'm not stupid early then I'm stupid late. Besides, I need a library card anyways. And I'm pretty sure you can help me with that. I uh, haven't been in a not school library in a long time, so sorry if that's a thing I'm supposed to do on my phone or something. My phone is, uh," Danny showed her a positively archaic flip phone in explanation.

"You've definitely come to the right place, Danny." Barbara said.

One library card later and Danny was exploring the stacks. Barbara showed him where the science and astronomy section was and reassured Danny that yes, he could read the books in the library and no there wasn't any limit on how many he could read while he was here.

—

The Rogue Safety class went well. Danny did, indeed, attend. Though he was late and embarrassed, having gotten caught up reading 'something really cool'.

Danny moved like he had training. Not the kind of training a civilian would get in self defense or low rank martial arts. He took the class seriously. Not everyone did. This class, or a similar class from elsewhere, was generally mandatory for positions with any kind of insurance. Not just health insurance for employees either. No one wanted to insure in Gotham. Most Gothamites didn't bother taking it, instead taking advantage of the rampant corruption to forge their proofs. If their place of employment didn't do that already.

—

[doberbutts]

As Disability Discourse 2.0 crosses my dash yet again I am left sort of wondering where the line is.

I am physically disabled. I am also neurodivergent. I do not consider myself mentally ill but I know that there are people out there with my exact diagnoses that do consider themselves mentally ill.

I have a brain injury. You can point to it on an MRI. I have the images to prove it. I had to re-teach myself how to speak. Those weird typos I have sometimes? Yeah my brain just reads letters wrong and sometimes spits out the wrong word or tense or grammatical structure sorry, that’s what happens when your brain gets shaken around in your head like a maraca following a serious car accident. I have a permanent tremor in my right hand and arm which results in me being incapable of fine motor control when having a flare. I am photosensitive and relatively intolerant of stress. I knocked an eye loose and was thankfully able to keep it but occasionally need to cover it or else it feels like someone is stabbing me directly in the brain when there is literally any light or movement whatsoever.

Did you know that over 30% of people who survive TBIs debate and even attempt to kill themselves within the first year? It’s still a bit unresearched but many neurologists believe it’s because many survivors have a hard time adjusting to their new normal when it feels like they have lost all control over themselves. I did not get that bad but I had many meltdowns where I would sob uncontrollably because it was all just Too Much, and the knowledge that it would be Too Much, Forever was curse over comfort.

Is that a mental or a physical disability? A part of my brain is damaged, like a scar. It is entirely neurological and mental in its symptoms.

I was diagnosed with a different brain condition, one that affects the autonomic nerve within my brain, causing fainting episodes, out-of-control mast cells, horrific digestive problems, and joints that bend a little too much. Average quality of life after diagnosis is roughly equivalent to someone with end stage heart failure.

A part of my brain is faulty and always has been. It is entirely physical in its symptoms. Is this a mental or physical disability?

My knee hurts. I was knocked off my bike one day on my way home from college. It was a hit-and-run driver and I didn’t have the money or the insurance to do more than slap a brace on it and limp around for several weeks while it healed. Less than a decade later it gave out. I was completely unable to walk for months. I lost my job. I ended up switching careers entirely so I could sit. I walk with a cane. I have to physically drag myself up stairs with my arms and my “good” leg. I spend nights grasping at my knee willing it to stop spasming as I try to get some sleep. I’ve had to beg for painkillers. Surgery will not help it. My knee is Completely Fucked, Forever.

This is a clear physical disability, that much is for sure.

I recently went to see Spiderverse. I warned my friend that it was entirely possible I’d need to duck out at some point because the movie would overwhelm me. I also warned her that I would probably need to immediately rest or go home and would not be able to hang out because I was anticipating it to be Sensory Hell. I went in prepared with my own snacks, tinted glasses to take the edge off the flashing, and even looked away during some of the worst of it.

I needed to duck out after an extended chase scene which featured a lot of flashing lights. I was able to come back and finish the movie. I needed nearly an hour of rest to stop shaking and be safe to drive myself home. I immediately went to bed upon getting home at about 4pm and by the time it was night had a pounding headache and shivers. I knew this would probably happen because the first one was very bad for my brain injury and I’d been pre-warned the second one was worse about it- truly I think it is really those movies’ biggest flaws is that they are very not friendly to people with problems with bright flashing lights.

My knee did not prevent me from entering the building. The theater was wheelchair accessible.

But even with sensory provisions, my brain injury and faulty nerve made it a monumental task to just finish a two and a half hour task of literally just sitting there.

I could go in. Staying was the part that was in question.

[ace-antagonist-writes]

Maybe someday soon,

Word count: 3.7k

Summary: After your team’s plans literally go up in smoke, a tense car ride leads into a much tenser situation with a certain natural disaster. (Vash and Reader are both hopeless romantics)

A/N: First actual post on this acc and I’m here to help clear out my Trigun brain rot, might make a part 2 if anyones interested. Also, I wrote this with the OG/ Badlands designs in mind but you could probably imagine other Vash to this as well! (this is also unedited since i hate rereading my own work-)

.

.

.

You’d think it was deadly for a human to run this hot. Maybe it was and maybe you’d drop dead from embarrassment if this would continue, who was to say?

The day had started any other way it had for the last few months. A lone desert horizon staring back at you as your little caravan traveled to a nearby city to take refuge before nightfall hit. Boredom hung over your head like a cloud of dust, so you began to look sound in the small enclosure. The van was high-strung with bated breath, the tension a cough away from popping poor Meryl’s temper. If you hadn’t been so terrified of the feisty woman, you could’ve snorted at the red vein barely visible on her cheek from your backseat angle. Desperate to find something else to focus on, your eyes drifted to Milly in the passenger seat blissfully unaware of the situation. You flashed her a smile when your eyes met in the mirror and she happily returned it before spacing off again on who knows what.

Now here came the hard part.

It was a wonder the silence had managed to dwell so long with the noisy blond and priest sitting beside you. Perhaps the two brain cells the three of you seldom shared–one of which you held on to the longest and the other bounced between the males– sparked together and formed a quiet game of who could outlast Meryl’s rage the longest. Nevertheless, your confidence held strong as you looked to cast a glance at Wolfwood in the opposite window seat. He was turned fully to the window, wispy stripes of dark hair obscuring most of his profile and hand holding up his chin. Thinking you were in the clear of not breaking into laughter looking at him you flicked your gaze onto the window.

Oh no. The two of you had formulated the same idea and were now staring at one another’s blank-faced reflection in the window. The dark tan of his skin pinched together and furrowed at the crease of his nose, clearly taken aback by the reflection as he struggled to re-straighten his face. You quickly turned your head as conspicuously as you could and placed your forehead on the warmed glass. A hearty smile had slipped its way across your face, what a goofball. It was embarrassing how attached you had gotten to everyone in such an objectively short time. Even with the scoldings included, you never once lost any amount of love for any of your friends. There was nothing you would trade for moments like this, despite having grated on Meryl’s nerves the entire morning before now. But to be fair, it was a bit of her fault as well for carrying a humanoid typhoon across No Man’s Land for this long. Insurance company be damned if you were in her place, the amount of times you’ve almost gotten stitched up would’ve put you into early retirement long ago.

….Speaking of the Humanoid typhoon,

Snapping out of your pondering state, you came to realize the silence had strangely returned. You glanced to your left, trying to spare a peek at your agitated driver to see if she was still ill-tempered. You got you answer with haste as her eyes raced to meet your curious ones peering at her through the side mirrors of the vehicle. It was like the devil himself snagged your heart out of your chest as your eyes spasmed trying to grasp at anything else within your range of view. How was someone barely up to your shoulder so scary?? The peeling leather of her seat is what dragged you back away from her wrathful glare, and even then you could’ve sworn the heat from it dug a hole through the sweat of your brow. Maybe it would be best if you didn’t follow your mind’s wonderings and left Vash in the back of your head. Yet as the harsh red of his mangy jacket appeared for a split second in your peripherals, you knew you were a goner. To make things worse, a subtle scraping made itself known alongside the white noise of the van. It was dull and flaky, not unlike the scratching of… a paint brush? Your noise scrunched up in thought as you looked for the source. Milly met you halfway when turning to her, casting a copy of your pensiveness right back as she peek over her shoulder. A honeyed eyebrow rose in a silent question before her gaze shifted up.

A loud clap sent a jolt through the backseat riders up and into a state of alert as Milly slapped a single hand over her mouth. Your own eyebrows kissed the beginnings of your hairline as you reared back in your seat a bit, slowly ascending your head to what she was turning an alarming shade of red at. On the way, you made eye contact again with the equally wired priest across from you. Only briefly sparring a single glance, you both looked up.

You don’t know whether it was due to the unbearable lack of entertainment or if it was just that funny, but only the lord knows how hard of a cacophonous laugh erupted from you either way. Poor, poor tall and lanky Vash sat stiff as a board between Wolfwood and you, caked in soot from the disaster the group had just come from. Wherever the dark graininess hadn’t settled, a brilliant red matching his iconic coat painted his sun-kissed skin. And his hair, the bristled blond strands smushed and sprang outwards, creating the illusion of an angry red pineapple as he slightly swished back and forth with the swaying of the van. Vash looked to be struggling more than you and the priest had–seeing as he had to stare at his reflection through the rearview mirror the entire time since you all had. However, all hell had broke loose upon your cracking up as Vash and Wolfwood burst into cackles and hollering. Tears poured out of all your eyes, soaking dried and dusty faces previously chapped from the heat. And if you had any sense left, you would’ve looked to see the expression on Meryl’s face beside the giggling Milly. Unfortunately, you didn’t get the chance and had to live on without knowing the exasperated smile inching across her face.

——————————————————-

.

.

.

"Why am I the only one in trouble?!" You found yourself wailing into the dark night as you trudged to the bar. "They laughed too Meryl!"

The woman's stride never paused as she walked in front of you with her back straight. Meryl scoffed back at you and dished out a single glance, "But who laughed first?"

"But-"

"Besides! We need someone sober enough to find the motel, and that will surely not be me after the little stunt you guys pulled in the last town!” She huffed a piece of her dark fringe away from her eyes and took a sharp turn, “I pray they weren’t set up with the company’s insurance plan, if so, this might be the last drinking session we can afford.”

You’d have to admit even though she was joking, you felt a little bad for Meryl. Maybe thats why for the rest of the way to the bar, you quietly sulked in front of the batch of traitors behind you. The two bubbly blondes and sleek priest were quiet as mice up until you all entered the bar– trying to camouflage into the darkness to avoid getting a ban on their drinking as well. Yet as soon as you all set foot in the bar, all four of your comrades hauled themselves to the bar and sparked the whole atmosphere of the room.

It was endearing in a way, even though you were a bit bitter you couldn’t be drunkenly stumbling over your words as you chatted the night away. But also if you had, you wouldn’t have been able to be fully enamored by a blond “maniac” who had managed to convince an equally drunk patron to dance with him on a table. You brought the back of your hand to your mouth and stifled the laugh building up in fear of being dragged up while sober enough to remember it happening.

However, all was in vain as you met a pair of teal downturned eyes looking straight at you. Vash was clearly plastered, but somehow managed to start working his way to you without stumbling out of his boots. His laughter made your brain work overtime to keep up with your heart running like a bat out of hell. You were certain that someone could hear the noise as you frantically darted your eyes around to divert your attention away from Vash. The drunken man was not even a foot away from you when he tripped on his way to you. And you could swear for a split second, a brown pair of dress shoes was the object in question. The blonde, dazed and confused, limply fell forward and clung to you tightly. You could’ve died at that single moment.

He was warm, and not in the way the sands were. It was such a comforting warmth that your mind blanked when he had wrapped his arms around you. The noise from the bar faded into a dull hum as Vash fully engulfed your senses. His right arm slightly twitches around you, as if trying to pull you impossibly closer. A rhythmic thumping pulsed inside your chest, and you prayed that he wouldn’t be able to feel it through layers of clothes and burning skin. Your breath hitched as he grazed the side of your neck, slowly moving up and stopping just below your ear. You were sick with anticipation and he slowly opened his eyes to look at you before speaking,

.

.

“I really have to use the bathroom.”

Dear lord.

So here you were, holding up a blazing hot Vash who was thoughly struggling to find the ground beneath him. You tried not to look at him too long–you fear if you did you’d let him fall in the chilled sand after the stunt he’d pulled earlier. Your face was still scorched with the heat of embarrassment that should’ve been drunkenness. Nevertheless, you trudged forward and led the train of dazed insurance company workers, a buzzed priest, and a totaled outlaw. It seemed everyone lucked out since the walk wasn’t long at all, the rickety building coming up just short of 3 minutes away.

You reered your head around to shout the news, earning disgruntled groans and a half-hearted cheer from Milly. Old and tired wooden boards wailed underneath yours and Vash’s feet as you both stepped up at the same time. He losely threw his right arm out to reach the door handle, and even though he missed it by a wide mark, you appreciated the effort. Soft lights brighten and illuminate the small motel lobby as you all piled in. The front desk attendee was a pleasantly aged woman, gray wisps spiraling from under her hat and kissing the faint wrinkles of her forehead. You gave an exasperated smile as you lugged Vash forward, “Reservation for Stryfe?”

“Stryfe you say? Okay my dear, let me just look and see-” She leaned forward a bit towards the registry booklet, “Ah! There it is, let me get your keys sweetheart.”

You nodded as you felt a slight tug on your sleeve, glancing upwards you come face to face with a teary-eyed pout. A single brow of yours hitches up, signaling him to continue with whatever he was trying to get at.

“...I need to use the bathroom again.”

“You just went!”

“Please!!” The lanky man twisted you around the best he could, “You don’t want my bladder to explode do you??”

You bit your tongue to not mutter a yes and send the blonde into a crying fit, instead slamming your hand over the first key you saw presented. With a labored huff you turned to Milly, currently the least drunk of the trio bracing themselves against the wall, “Mills, you think you can manage getting you three to your rooms while I’m gone?”

To which she reply with a lazy salute and a “You can count on me!” before grabbing two other keys and darting off with Meryl and Wolfwood draped on her shoulders. What a sweet girl.

And now to deal with your not-so-sweet outlaw that you hurriedly pull to the room where he would be staying. You’d nearly dropped and lost the key in hand when he dramatically clutched his stomach and shouted in the long hallway. Scared out of your skin, you turn to him in fear he actually wasn’t playing with you earlier about the bladder situation; but were met with a sly smile at the shocked expression displayed on your face. You huffed and tugged at him again, trying not to indulge in his antics. Undeterred, he let out another shrill yell as you dragged him closer to his room,

“HELP, HELP! It’s Vash the Sta-mmph!”

You slap a swift hand over his mouth and shove him into the newly opened door, locking it behind you. Red-faced, you shoot a dead glare at the spindly man currently splayed out in front of you. Vash’s lips twist into a playful wobbly smile as he stares up at you, only to shapely point downwards when you point to the bathroom door. His eyebrows crease his sunburnt skin in a sad attempt to imitate a kicked puppy–yet he relents and gives up when a vein makes itself present on your temple. Well after he’s settled into the bathroom, you lean against the wall to catch your breath for a brief second. How in the world was he this hopeless? You’d have to give it to him despite how agitated you were at his earlier stunt, his hopelessness was endearing in a way. A tired hand swiped the sweat from your brow as you flush faintly, god he would be the death of you. A muffled thunk from the other side of the bathroom door rips you from pondering about the culprit at hand. Hopefully Vash would be competent enough to figure out how to survive on his own until daybreak. You push off the wall and leave the room, starting off back down the hall to claim your room key so you can finally retire to bed.

The walk was ten times short without dragging drunken extra luggage on your shoulder throughout the halls. You stop at the front desk, which was now missing the woman attending it just a few minutes ago. It was eerily silent in the lobby, with no one being up and lounging about the area. At a sudden creak, your head swivels to a door not far away from the desk. Seemingly oblivious to your figure standing awkwardly behind the table, the young man glides to a drawer obscured front desk. He pulls out a booklet resembling the registration sheet the kind woman had checked form. The new attendee acknowledges your existence with a sparring glance,

“Name?”

The suddeness of his statement was enough to spike your nerves, “Ah! Oh, registration for Stryfe please! I’m here to pick up the fourth key?”

His eyes narrowed for a split second, “Four? There’s only three in the registry for Stryfe.”

“What?? Surely there must’ve been a mistake, there’s five of us with two sharing a room!” You mentally made a note to hide Meryl’s handover medicine if what the attendee said was true, that you would have to bunk with a clingy blond for the night. The man behind the counter just sighed tiredly at you,

“I’m sorry, but we don’t have any more openings left for the night. You’d have to sleep in one of the other reserved rooms.”

Your ears burned with embarrassment, “Can you at least tell me the other two room numbers?” Maybe you could bribe Wolfwood with the promise of another pack of cigarettes in exchange for a room to yourself.

Unfortunately, the attendee had made it his momentary pleasure to crush your pipe-dreaming. He slowly blinked at you, “Are you Meryl Stryfe?”

“...No?”

“Then I am sorry, we cannot disclose room patrons without consent of the booker themselves. Have a nice night.”

“You’ve gotta be joking me.”

“Not paid enough to do so, unfortunately.” He looked a good decade older as he muttered the statement to you through gritted teeth, “Have a nice night.”

And with that, your one-sided argument came to a close as you had no choice but to secede. In all honesty, you could pass out in the hallway and call it a day with all the walking going on. You wish you knew why this felt so nerve racking, he was your friend and the same went for you—or at least you hoped. Yet, the blonde had such a baffling way of turning your whole world upside down without even trying. It intimidated you just as much as it made your heart flutter. He was so breathtaking, enough to piss you off in a jealous haze if you weren’t his friend. You were set in stone on this revelation, and nothing would be able to shake that away from your perception of Vash. The door knob contrasts your warm palms as you open the frigid door.

Upon opening it, the world seems to instantaneously freeze when you come face to face with a half-dressed outlaw. You didn’t even have time to truly process his reaction, and dignity be damned at this point. Your eyes nailed themselves to Vash’s torso like they were meant to be there; and if you were actually cognitive, you would’ve chastised yourself for staring so shamelessly. But in all honesty, could you be blamed for looking?

Yes, you were hurt by the mangled skin of his body with pink skin coating the sunny canvas of his chest. And yes, you knew somewhere in the back of your mind you would shed tears for every one of them you hadn’t saw happen admits your journey together. But dear lord above, was he ethereal. The lankiness you normally associated with him was heavily disproven from what you could clearly see now. He was sturdily built—even with his arms frozen in a pose reaching for his backpack— and astonishingly lean. There were so many words you wished to say, to voice your unconscious fawning over him. You opened your mouth slowly and dazed,

“Vash, yo-”

“DON’T LOOK DON’T LOOK!” He shrieked out, arms flying up to cover anything they could.

Your hands sounded like gunshots as they collided against your eyes. Stupid, stupid! Everything that had echoed dully in your brain crashed together in a cacophonous tragedy as you came to your senses. And by the sounds of it, Vash found himself in the same predicament. Audible thrashes and shrill “eeks!” were the only way you could tell he still remained in the room. He quieted down a bit as he rummaged through his bag—for a shirt you predicted. There was no doubt in your mind he was sober from your shared mental breakdown, albeit one was far more vocal than the other. You felt ashamed in your actions, and were no better than a peeping Tom!

You scrambled to make an apology, something to atone for the embarrassing act you just committed against him. But before you could, he beat you to it.

“…I’m sorry you had to see that, I really am, it’s not a pretty sight and I’m sorry you-”

“That wasn’t what I was thinking at all,” You exhaled. “I was thinking about how pretty you were… in the…moonlight?”

It came out as a doubting question but the words you spoke couldn’t be any truer. Vash was extremely beautiful, far more than your words could ever tell.

…Meanwhile, he looked at you like you had just shot him in the foot at point blank range. His cheeks were a hazy flush and his eyes darted around your face crazily, looking at every single feature sitting upon it. You slightly shrunk under his intense surveying, a bit confused on what he was doing.

“Sooo, are you gonna say som-”

“YOU LOOK PRETTY TOO!” He jumped to cut you off and leaned forward a bit to accentuate his profession. The blush sitting on his cheeks flowed bashfully to his neck and chest—at least what wasn’t covered by his loose shirt— as he shifted nervously. “In the moonlight as well, I mean.” A cheeky smirk appeared after he spoke, as if he hadn’t fumbled as hard as you did.

What a tease.

“Is that why you were looking at me so hard? You liked what you saw as much as I did, hm?” You leaned forward a bit, mirroring his anxious actions.

“What’s not to like?” Vash’s smirk turned into a charming smile, “Women all across town would want a chance to get with the Humanoid Typhoon, you know!”

“Oh I know alright.” You roll your eyes in exasperation, “So what about me, I got a chance with Vash the Stampede?”

His face blew up in a furious blush again at your teasing tone, you got him. A snickered laugh bubbled from your chest as he tried to come up with something else so that he could win.

You can believe you were nervous to bunk with him for the night, did you seriously forget who he is? The laughter smothered all the attempts he made to make a jab at you, but you couldn’t focus on them anyway. Everything in your mind at the moment was swarming with him instead. Of his genuine laugh, of his jokes, of his lanky arms throwing themselves around you to give you a hug. Memories, thoughts, and words unspoken you always wanted to say just made you giggle all the more at him for just being. With all your heart, you wished he would have the same thoughts as you at least once.

And yet, if you weren’t so oblivious maybe you would’ve seen it.

Another lovestruck fool looking longingly at the one they fell head over heels for.

[mxtantrights]

famous dc!au (dick's version)

TRACK TWO - THOSE EYES

You get on to set ten minutes early. You had learned ettiequte from your high school teachers. Being on time was just as close to being late but being early shows dedication. That and it made sure that you had time to adjust for accidents like spilling coffee down your shirt or getting into traffic. 

When you pulled up you were escorted to a makeshift tent. You would be filming outside for the day. California Hills are the perfect place to shoot a music video. So the tent is where you would change and get retouched as the filming went on.

The first outfit actually wasn’t out of your comfort zone which you were thankful for. It was a simple pair of jeans and a knitted tank top with flowers. And they paired that with black converse. Honestly you probably have all three of these things or a variation of them at home.

Production shut down the road to traffic so you were able to walk around a bit before shooting started. It was a sight for sure. You don’t think you’ve ever stood in the middle of the road and looked into the distance before. Granted you could do that you’d just have to get insurance first to make sure you’d be ok if a car came your way.

It was nice though. A picturesque blue sky with an occasional cloud. The grass was green and not an off yellow or brown. And the backdrop of the city looked beautiful.

“Wow.” You whisper.

“I was just about to say that myself.” a voice from behind you sounds.

You don’t scare easily though. Living in a big city by yourself there are more things to be scared about than someone speaking behind you. Usually you would pay no mind but since you are literally on job you turn around to be polite. 

That’s when it happens. You look at the man who spoke to you and you think you might have a bit of dehydration coming on because there is no way Dick Grayson is the client you are working for. No way. It’s not like you lived under a rock or something. And it’s not like you disliked him.

In total fairness you’ve listened to all of his albums and have quite a few favorite songs. Have you ever been to his concerts? No way, too expensive and the waitlist for tickets was always astronomical. 

“I’m Dick,” he holds out his hand.

You take his hand into yours and introduce yourself. Then you two let go of each other. You don’t miss the tiny electrical friction that comes from letting his hand go.

“Surely you have seen greater sights than this.” you say lightly, pointing to the city view.

“Yeah, I have.” he says simply.

Before either of you can say anything else you are both called by name. Sure enough an assistant is coming your way. She has two cameras in her hands but they aren’t advanced cameras. More like those handheld ones.

She holds one out for you.

“This is your camera for the day. You’ll be shooting B-footage of Dick for the video.” she says.

You take the camera. It’s already on. You hope you don’t mess this up too badly. Sure you could take videos and pictures on your phone but they weren’t anything to hang in a museum or gallery.

“And this is for you. Same thing applies.” she speaks again. You watch as she hands over another camera to Dick. At that your stomach kind of drops. It was one thing to have to preform for one camera, but for two at the same time? And Dick Grayson is holding one of those cameras? Yeah this was all starting to hit you. 

“What is this for again?” he asks. The assistant looks at him confusedly for a moment. Then her face goes straight. 

“The two of you will be shooing b-footage that we can intertwine with the other shots. We’re going for more of a down to earth, honest vibe for this video.” she explains. 

Dick nods his head. But you know exactly why he asked. Surely he saw the look on your face as you were handed a camera. He wanted to sooth your nerves a bit. The assistant walks away and it’s just the two of you again. You look at him with a small smile.

“Thanks for that.” you say.

“Don’t worry about it.” he shrugs.

“So, are there any angles that I can’t film of you?” you ask.

“According to People Magazine? No. But I don’t mind either. Makes it more authentic that way.” he answers.

You nod along, “Okay good.”

“And obviously all the angles work for you.” he adds. “Obviously?” 

“I mean, you know you’re good looking and, well good is an understatement—oh god I’m struggling here.” he rambles.

You are shocked to say the least. Dick Grayson, the heartthrob of Hollywood is a rambling blushing mess in front of you. Was he trying to flirt? With you?

You watch as he walks off. Huh.

-

Dick didn’t want to walk away from you but he decided it would be the best course of action after fumbling like that. He’s never done that before. It’s weird. Maybe it was the nerves of not having an album ready finally getting to him.

Yeah. That had to be it.

He can’t even entertain the possibility that you had captured him this quickly. You hadn’t even held a decent conversation yet! 

“Hey so we’ll have you running up the hill first and then-“ someone starts saying.

“The song.” Dick interrupts.

“What?”

Dick looks at who’s speaking. It’s the director of his music video. A newbie, someone he doesn’t recognize. This is just making him even more nervous. 

“You need to play the song in order to establish the vibe.” Dick answers.

Then the director is snapping at one of the assistant and ushering them to find a speaker. Within a few moment the song, his song, is playing. The first few chords ring out and Dick looks over at you. You go from looking out at the city to suddenly looking over your shoulder, right at him.

Yeah, he was done for.

-

You were glad to be done with the hand-held cameras for the day. It was fun and Dick was great for the camera. He really helped you out too and was throwing jokes and really feeding into the vibe.

The song had to be one of the most romantic songs you heard in a while. His voice was amazing first and foremost. It transported you to another world. The strings were so soft and the piano and guitar just worked so well.

The last scene you were filming for the day was a bike scene. Apparently, since you were the love interest, you had to feign knowing how to ride a bike. And while you hadn’t ridden a bike in about a year you were sure you could pull off acting like you didn’t know how to ride one at all. 

You climb on the bike first. Dick is right there behind you, hand on the small of your back. 

As per the vibe of being honest and authentic the camera is already rolling on the two of you. The director is attached to a golf cart in front of you two.

You grip the handle bars of the bike. Your knuckles are probably going to turn white with how hard you’re gripping. 

“Are you good with this.” Dick asks.

You take a moment and then you look back at him. He’s still got his hand on your back. You smile a bit, and nod your head slightly. You could try to act like you don’t know how to bike ride.

“Yeah. It’s just that I know how to ride a bike.” you joke.

Dick chuckles, “when was the last time you were on one?” 

“About a year ago.” you answer.

He nods and you watch as his eyes bounce back and forth. Between you and the bike. Then he’s lightly patting your back with is hand.

“Alight let me try.” he says.

“What?” 

“Yeah, let me get on the bike.”

You’re not one to go against what your boss wants so you climb off the bike. And you hold it steady as Dick props himself on top. The seat was unisex so it wasn’t much of a hassle. 

You watch as Dick keeps one leg propped to hold himself up on the bike. The camera starts moving and so does Dick. Slowly he pedals the bike and you follow alongside of him.

“Oh wait I like this better, get on behind.” the director says.

Dick stops pedaling. You quickly move behind him and put both your feet on the two metal parts that stick out on the back wheel. You put your hands on his shoulders as he starts pedaling again.

Dick keeps a healthy distance between the cart and the bike. And he seems to enjoy himself too. He’s talking to you and joking around again. You smile down at him as he does.

[feminist-space]

AITA for not paying for my girlfriend's haircut?

Hi everyone. My girlfriend (32f) and I (38m) have been together for two years. I lost my job about three months into our relationship. During this time, she really came through for me and helped out A LOT. I did not have a car so she would help me deliver orders on Doordash and Grubhub so I could pay my bills. She also covered the difference out of her pocket if I was running short. To say I'm grateful to her is an understatement.

I finally found a new job two months ago. I'm saving up for a car so she's been letting me borrow hers. She accrued some debt while I was out of a job and I have repaid about half of that. However, now I'm worried that she's starting to only want me for my money.

We got into an argument over the weekend because she called to ask me if she could borrow some money to get a haircut. Apparently she is running short due to an expected home repair cost, but already paid the hairdresser a deposit that she would have to forfeit if she rescheduled it. I had a long day at work and was exhausted, both mentally and physically. So when I noticed that my phone was ringing, I was really excited to see her name. But after I answered, she immediately asked me for money. I felt crushed because she did it without even asking how my day was first. I told her that I guess I understand what my new role is in her life now and she threw a huge fit about it.

She claims that she "gave me her everything" for a year and a half just to keep a roof over my head, and that she's accrued debt from when I wasn't working so I shouldn't be so opposed to doing her a favor. I recently bought her car a new set of tires and got the brake pads replaced, as well as gave her some money to repay the debts with. I also have paid for the car payment and insurance since I started working because I have it at my place more than she does while I save up to buy my own. So it's not like I don't contribute to her expenses already. She keeps guilt tripping me because "a haircut is a small ask considering everything I've done for you" which feels very controlling. Now she won't talk to me and I'm scared that she's going to breakup with me without even hearing me out.

I hated taking her money when I was jobless and that I have to use her car now, I didn't want to do it in the first place. Anytime I needed her to pay for something, it was because it was an important expense like my rent or power. So the way she is asking for something unnecessary like a haircut just feels like a slap in the face.

AITA?

**Comments**

galatic\_opal:

*YTA a year and a half she helped pay for all your expenses and that’s good you’ve paid back half but to get upset about her wanting for you to pay for her hair appointment because she is short on money cause she is still dealing with debts because of you is fucking ridiculous. You brought up paying for maintenance and insurance and actual car payment but you literally said you use her car more than her so you should be paying for that. Can’t believe you have the nerve to say you think she only wants you for your money when you have USED her for almost 2 years.*

-

SpiritSylvan:

*The way my eyes ROLLED at the “I think she wants me for my money!” when he didn’t HAVE money for the longest time.*

*She’s trying to have a relationship. OP seems like he’d rather have a sugar mommy.*

*What fucking money does she “only” want you for, OP? You have more entitlement than you have assets.*

OOP: hey I don't think it's fair to say that I just want a sugar momma when I never felt good about taking her money in the first place

-

runrunpuppets:

"I recently bought her car a new set of tires and got the brake pads replaced, as well as gave her some money to repay the debts with"

*You clearly still owe debts that have put a burden on her when she could have dumped your ass and let you cry about it. You think that because things are on the upswing for you that all of the debts are now even. Ohhhh you help pay for a car you personally use more than her! Wow! She covered your pathetic ass for a YEAR AND A HALF and now that she's clearly struggling you are bitching over a fucking haircut. You suck man!*

*YTA, pay for the haircut, and honestly I hope she breaks up with you. If you don't pay for the haircut, I hope she breaks up with you.*

-

RoughCow854:

*What gets me, is OP should be paying for those things on the car. He is using her car because he doesn’t have one, so he’s putting on the wear and tear.*

*I’m sincerely hoping this is fake, because if not, this person is really is obtuse.*

*YTA OP. It comes across as if you were just with her for her money. Which, it sounds like you’re still using her. She’s not mad because of the haircut. She’s mad because she asked for a small favor and you completely shot her down and insulted her, after everything she’s done for you. Hopefully she smartens up and leaves you.*

OOP: well it's her car.

-

crocodilezebramilk:

*Info: Have you repayed her in full yet or are you still making payments for the debt you put her in?*

OOP: No I have not. I've repayed about half of it.

-

Update - 4 days later

edit: She didn’t talk to me for three days and then she dumped me

Link to Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/BORUpdates/s/z5xPIazPdc

[dizzyluc]

Incoming vent rant (needed to air out my anger after the past 3 days, considering my pain level I'd say is at a 6 out of 10, and the more constant pain I'm in, the more pissed I get lol...)

This month, let alone this week, has not been kind to me... and it's only Tuesday, THE THIRD ">_> When this month starts off shitty due to something personal related (not health related thankfully, (although it IS insurance related is all I'll say, it could definitely be worse though, but...) it's actually put me in a pretty pissy mood these past few days, which I'm praying Friday it's taken care of, so hoping Friday goes over well) Monday, my "rest up before a long ass week" day, I had to take my car in to get an oil change as my light just lit up, went to a "Take 5" and after waiting 30 minutes, being inside the place that does it, with my car off cause no idea when they would actually just "start" doing stuff... "Oh, we don't have the right thing to change your oil, so we can't do it." THANKS FOR SAYING IT AFTER MAKING ME WAIT (instead of checking real quick if it can be done... then having me wait for everyone that came before me go... although I think they were understaffed too) Then after, I go to a local donut place, that I have been trying to get a coconut flavor for, for WEEKS, even went the day before and they said "oh we will have it tomorrow!" and they still didn't have it... (they have said this 3 times now at this point) pretty much making my outing a complete waste of time. Today being Tuesday? I've been almost crashed into 6+ times (at least twice my mom yelped at people almost creaming me) The donut place, after saying I'd be back at noon today? "It will be ready at 5-6 today!" How. Many. Times... I drop my mom off for her appointment, which normally this one takes 3 hours due to ALWAYS being behind, get a Slurpee... which tasted like a cheap drink... and then every place I went to, for SOME reason, after lunch? Big lines. I get done with the final place almost, expecting to get back and chill and relax after such a hectic afternoon and week so far... (after picking up a pizza cause a good deal usually happened at a certain pizza place nearby on Tuesdays) Mom texts: Oh, I'm just about done, there was no one in the doctor's office today! So we can keep doing errands once you get back! Me thinking... "Can I get just 5 minutes... FIVE. MINUTES." Dealt with more cars trying to ram me (If you go to Florida, be VERY CAUTIOUS about driving here, the people are lunatic drivers, even more so lately it feels like, literally had to slam on my brakes twice today because people THINK THEY OWN THE ROAD, TO PULL OUT IN FRONT OF ME) After finally eating today (I only had donut holes at this point btw today... it was pizza though, but...)

I think my nerves from all the shit happening these past few days finally caught up to me and I got nauseated for like an hour or so, which going back to the donut place didn't help (it still wasn't ready when I got there, it was almost 6 pm) and after they brought it out... it wasn't even the right donuts. "Wait, OHHHH... you wanted the white, coconut donuts we served like, 3 months ago right? With the coconut drizzle? Oh yeah, no that was discontinued." Me thinking: ... I LITERALLY TOLD YOU THIS EVERY TIME "I want the coconut donut that had white frosting, and coconut flakes drizzled on top of the donut" I got whatever the hell they made, got home, let dogs out (while it pretty much was almost raining) and it took me 2 hours to get a shower and now lay down in bed. ... and it just keeps going tomorrow lol... (Gotta be ready by noon, and will be out probably till 6 or so doing "Military Monthly run" aka pick up medicine, pick up veterinarian stuff for dogs, maybe mail some stuff or do a bank run (these 2 not always), followed by pick up cards and any random stuff at the Base Exchange, then the Commissary for almost 2 hours for the family monthly grocery supply [and this is why I call it "grocery day" as it's an all day affair, that literally is dedicated for goods for the month])

[arsalamsyah]

Mother

Last week marked the two straight months of co-living again with my mom after almost a decade of separation (quite literally). Turns out being a parent to my parent is not as easy as I thought it would be, but I’m not gonna whine either.

I was still in my teenage years when I left and a decade is definitely not a short period of time to remember each other’s habits. My formative adult years were filled independently without having the official obligation to take care of anyone directly throughout days and nights. Of course I sent money overseas but that’s different with actually taking care of them. I did have roommates, or stayed with other family households, but again it’s different with those who you share blood with.

Since she moved in for good, I’d say two months has still been an adaptation period for me. I re-learn not only about her habits but also my own habits. Like, she reuses/recycles a lot of things especially for gardening, and I like to use properly-functioning items. My mom is a savvy person, but I’m more on the practical side to “let’s just buy, don’t waste your time.” She prefers to cook than going out to dine-in. I can’t help but feel guilty because I often don’t have time to cook or she cooks earlier than me, and I don’t want her to feel “obligated” to cook for me. Other house chores than cooking are all on me and that feels quite a difference from living solo.

The fact that she’s getting older, it’s just never gonna be the same as it used to be when I was a teenager. Athough she now can go anywhere by herself in the city, she no longer can walk at my pace. I can no longer say freely “I’m free on weekends” to my friends because I want to spend time with her in between busy weeks, and show her all the good places too. Having her living in the US is in fact her calling, not mine. Yet little did I plan that fulfilling her wish also means that all her paperwork from visa to ID to insurance to all the knicks knacks become all my homework. You know how govty paperwork can be so tedious, and I admit sometimes I don’t have the nerves to deal with others’ problems.

Like what Stevie Wonder said, “For once in my life, I have someone who needs me.” Someone who depends on me heavily. Moving forward, I hope I continue to gain the patience, be softened and tender, and be a more cool headed person to make her wishes come true. I know I’m happier when she gets to try out new experiences and other things I already had. May all ease and happiness cover us both in here and the next. Bismillah :)

[padawansuggest]

Today has been. A fucking roller coaster. As per my post this morning I know I told y’all I woke up at a 9 that spiraled into a ten but lemme tell you what overall happened.

Got back to sleep around 3 hours after I got the nerves to calm down

Woke up four hours later at a 9 that only just barely didn’t spiral

I didn’t even use the bathroom I just pulled on a bra and shorts and a dress and grabbed the bag I made up that morning and left the house for urgent care. No ambulance for UC but it’s literally just around the corner

Only go there instead of ER cause sis reminded me my GP JUST swapped over there so it’s time to get some real help from someone who doesn’t think I’m drug seeking even if I’m at a pain level so high I’m considering S-wording myself

She tells me that even if I have all the symptoms but dryness from sjögrens, a flare up isn’t supposed to be a 9-10 so she thinks it’s an infection and tells me to get antibiotics and oxycodone

Lol as much as I was blinking to stay awake in the store and also I accidentally texted a no-reply number but idk if someone on the other end saw that lmao, it’s not as powerful as they say

So the pain is THAT bad

Two hours later the pain was that bad again

I tried to nap I took pain killers I took another oxy two hours early I played a video game

I am considering if I want the next oxy now that I am past the time limit idk it’s not that bad probably because I’ve been rubbing numbing gels all over my face for hours

Anbesol was really perfect for helping numb my mouth enough to eat something with actual texture to it so that was nice

Idk man it’s been a long ass day and all this shit and it’s still not enough

Istg if this one isn’t gotten rid of with antibiotics I’m gonna scream. Doc seems convinced it’s an infection rollover and I trust her but the ER doctor (while they are always very nice and helpful to me, they’re only really useful for shit like emergency imaging which the radiation tech loves cause he gets overtime lmao) was like. Yeah we could give you a different antibiotic… and made it seem like it was cautionary and not the real solution but idk wake up at a 9 twice in one and maybe it’s an infection

Srsly I got a mental health appointment for the 21st but I’m starting to think if I wake up at a 9 more than twice in one day tomorrow I’m not gonna make it to the 21st

My only saving grace is that I didn’t get sugar at the store. This may seem odd but I am allergic to cane sugar, but when I’m stressed I don’t binge but I do reach for the sugar and end up with mouth ulcers so that’s not like. Nice. Proud of my for avoiding sugar and alcohol in a single trip. Of course, I am also on oxy so idk I don’t wanna DIE

Btw nicest pharmacist ever, he said that since I had a drug I was also picking up today that wouldn’t be safe with oxy, the insurance would not cover the oxy, so he swapped it from 25$ capsules to 8$ tablets and I was okay with paying full for only 8$ lmao he’s amazing.

Um. Love y’all. Glad I went to ER a few days ago and glad sis reminded me they ain’t shit and to go to doc UC today.

[lazybookangels]

soo everything that's happened recently from the top of my head

my mom broke her foot TWICE and now requires 24/7 care

out of 12 friends only 1 was available to join me on my 20th birthday

while we're at it if you exclude my partners family and the online friend I made like a week ago only three of said 12 friends wished me a happy birthday

I've been allergic to absolutely everything for the past two weeks like my nose is constantly running and I'm constantly itchy

my partner went on vacation to her home country (points for personal loneliness good for her tho), her family left me the keys so I could chill at hers to catch a break from my mother (my saving grace)

said partner spontnously offers to fly me in so i can meet her family and see the country (yippee) but a million different little things make this overly complicated so we decide against it (rip)

i don't know if i have to retake an exam and the prof is literally on vacation so i won't know for weeks

my great aunt found clear evidence that her recently deceased husband cheated for a very long time, including letters in which he states that the mistress is his one true love and badmouthing my great aunt

which is why my granny put us all on suicide watch duty and is making elaborate plans to piss on his grave

a tractor hit our PARKED car which is in the repair shop for an unknown amount of time

which means I now cannot go to my partners house to escape mother

I had to get my blood drawn which is hell itself for me and go to the gynecologist which is hell itself for everyone (all good tho thank fucking god)

we found mold in my mothers freshly renovated bedroom

I found a cockroach in mine

my mother pulled a nerve moving across her bed and now cannot stand, sit or move

oh my cousin got put on suicide watch

my aunt almost quit her job of ten years

we almost lost our elderly cat in a thunderstorm which scared all of us shitless

listen I've been lucky with my gacha pulls recently and my mom is insured well so we get money for the broken bone(s) and the car

but COME ON