#her brain doesn't have a single second of rest and she worries about Everything

[gender-euphowrya]

huge dev update my grandma is gonna see a psychologist

[viranellee]

you'd never guess (i'd never know)

synopsis: the only thing eddie roundtree likes about billy dunne is his younger sister.

warnings: smut, dirty talk, swearing, unprotected sex (reader is on the pill, but it's never mentioned)

a/n: the lack of eddie smut on here is appalling

⁠ ♡

“Where are you going?”

Frozen in your tracks, you slowly turn around and meet Eddie’s still sleepy but inquisitive gaze, and as his eyes look you over from head to toe, it morphs into a distinctive shade of lustful. You allow yourself the liberty to admire him as he does the same to you - unguarded and vulnerable in his half-awake state, the nest of tangled light brown hair on top of his head, his naked body painted with love bites underneath the white hotel sheets.

You want to kiss him.

“Sweetheart, c’mon. Come ‘ere.” He tries coaxing you, but you know the rules by now. No matter how sweet the temptation is, no matter the things his deep, husky morning voice does to your insides, no matter the way your heart threatens to beat out of your chest everytime you lay eyes on him, you need to be unfailingly secretive about this, whatever it is, between you two. Otherwise the deadly tornado of a man your brother Billy is will turn it into ruin with a single flick of his hand.

Even still, it seems that you’re the only one rightfully worried.

"Eds, I have to leave, you know this.”

Something hardens in his gaze for a moment, but it quickly slips away. It pains you to watch it. You lean down to kiss his cheek in an attempt to make him feel better, but he turns his head around, capturing your lips with his. You gasp and instinctively fist your hands into his hair as he rearranges you to sit on his lap. There’s something desperate about the way he holds you and kisses you this particular morning and it sets everything in you on fire. You moan into his kiss despite your brain screaming at you to get the fuck up and leave before anybody finds out you’re not in your room. Eddie seems to sense your overthinking, as he usually does, and slips his cold hands underneath your blouse, letting his long fingers trace your spine, trying to soothe you.

"Focus on me. Don’t think about anything else.” Eddie instructs and you suddenly feel lighter.

You kiss him again, a silent thanks for bringing you back to the present, and it’s his turn to moan as he presses you down on his hard-on.

"A couple of kisses and I’m already rock hard like a fuckin’ teenager. Jesus, the things you do to me.” He mutters, more to himself than you, but the words still manage to leave their impact on your nether regions.

“Eddie, Eddie…” you pant as his mouth begins to place greedy kisses down your neck. “We’re…we’re going to be late for breakfast.”

He laughs against your skin and you swear you’ve never felt something so good.

“I’m already having my breakfast, sweetheart, and it’s much better than the shit they serve down there.”

Fuck.

---

“Anyone got any idea where Eddie and my sister are?” Graham asks his friends, in the midst of swallowing his piece of omelet.   

Warren shrugs.

“Eddie’s probably still sleeping. I mean, when has he ever shown up for breakfast on time? Let the guy get some sleep, man.” 

Graham nods a couple of times, deeming the explanation logical. It doesn't stop him from thinking about the person left out from it.

"Yeah, sure," he starts "but my sister always shows up. I...I don't know, maybe she slept in this time, but maybe I should go up and check." 

Karen suddenly pipes in from her place next to Graham, putting her hand on his thigh. 

"Don't. For we all know, she's just sleeping in." She says, looking at Warren from across the table pointedly, who takes the hint and nods reassuringly at Graham. "And you know how she gets when someone wakes her up. Let her rest." 

"But what if she's hungry when she wakes up?" 

Karen sighs, closing her eyes for a couple of seconds. Warren inhales sharply, a tell-tale sign of him holding in his laughter. 

"Graham. She isn't an infant. I'm sure your sister is fully capable of getting breakfast for herself." She says, but he still doesn't look entirely convinced.

"Yeah, but I don't want her to be alone." Graham pauses. "I don't want her to feel lonely, y'know." 

"Hey, chill man. She and Eddie wake up around the same time anyway, they usually get breakfast together, don't they? I really don't think there's anything to worry about." Warren adds, as he takes the last bite of his P&J sandwich. 

Graham silently leans back in his chair and Karen takes the opportunity to change the subject.

"Anyway, uh, how's Lisa, Warren?" 

KAREN SIRKO: I knew she and Eddie were fucking from the moment I saw them together. 

WARREN ROJAS: For the record, I had no idea they were fucking. 

GRAHAM DUNNE: [sighs] Can we not talk about this, please? 

---

"Yeah, just like that. Fuck, you look so good bouncing on my cock like that." 

You don't know how long you two have been going at it. What you do know, however, is that Eddie Roundtree, the insatiable sex maniac, has already put you through five different positions and this is the sixth one.

"Eddie, I…I don't think I can..." You start saying as you feel your strength leaving your body, but he knows. He always knows. 

He tightens his hold on your hips and drags you up and down his cock and you have to physically put a hand over your mouth when he hits that spot inside of you. 

"Found it, huh?" He comments, with that goddamn cocky glint in his eye and you would have normally rolled your eyes at him if it weren't for the fact that they were already rolling towards the back of your head. 

"Shut...up!" You pant, and he smirks. As soon as you see that smirk, you involuntarily tighten around him. Eddie groans when he feels it and you lean down to kiss his Adam's apple, and then - him. He cups the back of your neck with one large hand and you shiver.

"I'm, I'm close. Eddie, fuck!" You barely manage to stutter out and he goes even faster, the sounds of skin slapping against skin echoing throughout the room. He presses a sweet kiss to your collarbone and immediately goes back to whispering filthy things into your ear.

"Cum for me, love. Cum on my cock." He urges, breathless, something swimming in his eyes you've never seen before, and you do just that. 

You think you might have screamed. You don't know. All you remember is Eddie.

You hide your face in his shoulder, sensitive and exhausted - he cums shortly after, your name on his lips like a prayer. You sigh when you feel him soften inside of you. He falls back on the pillows and you fall along with him, head on his chest and his hand playing with your hair. 

It's comfortably silent after that, so silent in fact, that for a second you think Eddie might have fallen asleep. You tilt your head upwards to place a kiss on his jawline, but you find him already staring back at you, an uncharacteristically contemplative look on his gorgeous face. 

"What?" You question, growing increasingly worried. 

This is it, you think, this is when he ends things. 

My worst fear is coming true.

EDDIE ROUNDTREE: Y'know, I've played in front of hundreds of thousands of people. I know what anxiety feels like. But laying in that bed with her, looking at her, was the most nervous I'd ever felt in my entire life. 

"I…" He begins and closes his mouth, as if carefully choosing his words, but doing nothing to ease the pit in your stomach. "Well..." 

You stand up upright, a typical "Dunne frown", as he liked calling it, on your face. 

He should look me in the eyes, at the very fucking least. 

"Oh, is this what you're doing now? Fucking me one last time before you reject me? You've had your fun, is that it?" 

Y/N ROUNDTREE: I do admit that I... misjudged the situation. But when you've been with assholes in the past, sometimes you come to conclusions a bit too quickly. 

Eddie's face scrunches up into a mixture of shock, confusion and slight sadness.

"What?" He asks so loudly that it makes you feel embarrassed. "What in the actual fuck are you on about? Why would you even think that? Sweetheart, I was going to say I love you."  

EDDIE ROUNDTREE: I'll never forget the look on her face, swear to God. [laughs] 

"What?" You parrot back, just as loudly. It takes a beat or two for the words to sink in.  When they do, you start laughing like you've never heard anything funnier. 

Eddie simply looks at you like you've grown two heads. 

"Oh, Eds. Please don't lie to me like this." You cover your face with your hands.

Suddenly, your hands are being gently pulled away - he's staring at you so softly you think you might die. You might have actually died and this is your heaven. It certainly feels like it. 

He whispers your name and you whisper his back. 

"I love you." He says, cupping your cheeks,  and keeps repeating it as if trying to get it through your head. 

"Eddie…" you breathe against his lips. He pulls your bottom lip down with his thumb, pupils dilated like you're his new favorite drug. You might actually be. "Eddie, I lo-"

"SOUNDCHECK IS IN 30 MINUTES, ROUNDTREE, GET YOUR ASS OUT OF THE DAMN BED!"  

Fuck.

---

EDDIE ROUNDTREE: She might not have told me she loved me that day, but - [shows wedding ring] - I know. I know.

⁠♡

[neko-naruto]

take one step forward (two steps back)

summary: guarding the Master Emerald gave him purpose when had nothing but corpses surrounding him, no wonder it's so hard to drop the urgency

tags: character study, angst

authors note: a gift for the wonderful @ohposhers because i missed their birthday by A Very Large Margin and wanted to write them a fic regardless, hope everyone enjoys

How long has it been since he started doing this?

...

. . .

.  .  .

Yeah, too long.

Knuckles shrugs just enough to return feeling to his arms. He doesn't stand up though. It's his resting day, where he allows himself to sit instead of pace circles around the Master Emerald.

He should go find food.

Or water.

It's been a while since he last did so.

Maybe he should've given himself breaks more often then once a day.

But what if it happens again?

Eggman, Robotnik, whatever the people call him now, what if he returns? Comes back for a second shot at getting the Master Emerald?

What if he succeeds?

No!

Fuck, no, bad thoughts. It won't happen again, he's better than that now. Nothing will ever touch the Master Emerald again unless it's his own two paws or someone who he dearly trusts.

He stands up and paces circles around the Master Emerald. He just needs to get it out of his head, doubts, fears, worries, he's better now.

The telltale sound of wings flapping alert him and he finds Rouge dropping down. In her arms is Shadow, being carried similarly to a cat with one hand under each of his arms. She places down Shadow and drops down beside him with a small flourish as usual.

"Knuckles, why are you still here?" Shadow asked.

Knuckles scoffed, "I'm doing my job, why aren't you doing yours?"

"We were supposed to meet up at one of the cafe's today for a drink, sweetheart," Rouge said.

Knuckles faltered.

That was today?

He should get a calendar, or a more accurate tell of time. He doesn't even know how old he is in an exact number these days, just the rough estimation from Tails' DNA test. There is no exact date of birth, so he chose January first, an easy one to remember.

"What's wrong with you?" Shadow questioned as he stepped closer.

"It slipped my mind," Knuckles said. He was lying through his teeth and everyone knew it.

Shadow quirked a brow.

So did Rouge.

"I have to guard the Master Emerald-"

Rouge bit back at his statement, "No you don't. Nobody wants to steal it anymore."

"You do, for starters."

"And? Who else?"

Again, Knuckles goes silent.

"That's what we thought," Shadow said rather curtly.

"Sorry for forgetting, it won't happen again."

He knows that's a lie.

He knows his mind is still full of worries about the emerald. That he'll never truly be able to empty it and leave behind the need to protect the emerald. He knows he's a dog in that aspect.

"You better not, we were all looking forward to hanging out with you sweetie," Rouge said with a bit of a pout.

"Don't forget that you have a mission with Sonic tomorrow," Shadow said.

Rouge elbowed him, "Ease up, don't be so snappy."

"I'll do better next time."

-/-/-/-

Knuckles doesn't do better.

He swears he tries too, but everything just sort of, falls out of his brain. There was one little scare, a stray degraded beebot made its way onto the island. It had no real directive or drive to move to obtain the Master Emerald but it sets off every single alarm inside of Knuckles' head.

He just reverts.

All of his knowledge remains but it's shoved aside and replaced by an instinct to hunt and herd and protect. He does laps of the entire island, scouring for anything that could be out of place. He knows logically he doesn't need to, that it was just a leftover stray badnik.

But deep in the recesses of a mind molded to one purpose since he was naught but a child, he needs to do this. And he can't deny his instinct, he never could.

-/-/-/-

Shadow finds him passed out by a creek in the Mushroom Hill's. It just looks like he collapsed. Face down on the mossy grass and body splayed out like he's dead.

"Rouge! I found him!" Shadow called out.

In mere moments Rouge came crashing down from between mushrooms that threatened to bounce her back. She brushes herself down before standing at attention. With a brief glance at Knuckles' her cockiness evaporates. "I think we should be worried."

"Our mission-"

"He's passed out on the ground something happened to him!" Rouge snapped, pressing a gloved paw to Shadow's chest to nudge him back, "He's your partner, start acting like it. Cut him some slack."

Shadow huffed, "Fine."

Rouge crouches down and shakes Knuckles' awake.

He's groggy and slow to gain his senses again. His body is strained. Fuck he didn't actually get any water before passing out, did he? He scrambles to the creeks edge on auto-pilot and near fully submerges his snout.

With a heady gasp he resurfaces.

"Finally awake?" Shadow asked.

Knuckles snaps over to face him.

"What happened, red?" Rouge asked. There's a near pitying look on her face, one of worry.

"Badnik, Master Emerald," Knuckles said. He was still hacking on taking in too much water. "You know how it is."

"One Badnik?"

"They're like bugs, if you see one there's bound to be a hundred."

"Was there a hundred?" Shadow asked before taking a seat on the dirt. Rouge followed suit.

Knuckles shook his head, "I still had lap Angel Island to be sure."

Rouge felt worry build faster in her stomach, "How many times did you lap it?"

Knuckles shrugged. "Enough."

"Until you passed out, is how many times," Shadow corrected, "You need a vacation."

"That Badnik only further proves why I can't leave my post even once," Knuckles said. He didn't know why he was arguing in favor of this awful cycle. He had to. He had duty. He had purpose. This was his existence. He can't abandon, not now, not after it's been proven it has a point again.

For a stagnant moment both Rouge and Shadow are silence, then Rouge speaks.

"We'll stay with you then." She speaks with finality to her tone, "If you can't visit us off island then we'll visit you on island and protect the emerald with you."

"You just want to steal it like you always do," Knuckles spat.

Rouge scoffed, "Please, there are far bigger fish to fry than a thing like The Master Emerald."

"Even if you kick her out, I'm still staying here to guard it with you," Shadow tacked on.

"It's not your job."

"It will be."

"It will never be your duty the way it's my duty."

-/-/-/-

They still come to pester him daily on his laps.

He still tries to ward them off out of an instinct then real conviction towards them. He loves them too much to actually want to get rid of them. He still can't kill the thing in his head that says that anyone with sentience stepping foot on the island wants the worst.

That won't stop them from bothering him non-stop regardless.

"We brought you some grape jello," Rouge stated as she handed the cling-wrapped bowl to Knuckles.

"And a blanket for your hammock hut you have set up out in the woods," Shadow tacked on as he tossed a crocheted blanket at Knuckles. It consisted of muted hues of reds, blacks, pinks, blues- nearly the entire rainbow really. "Everyone wanted to pitch in and cast a few rows of their own color."

Knuckles wrapped himself up in the blanket, "That's sweet."

"Do you think we could help you guard the Emerald yet?" Rouge asked, "Robotnik is back out."

Knuckles paused before nodding, "Yeah, you guys can help if you really want to."

Rouge grinned, "I hope your hut has room for two more hammocks then, cause if it doesn't we're all dogpiling."

[extr4normal]

isa info dump pt. 1.

there will be mentions of drunk driving/car accident, death, electroshock therapy/surgeries, hospitals, etc. you've been warned!

◘ in 2021 misfortune knocked abruptly against the velasco family's front door. isadora velasco, commonly referred to as isa, unfortunately lost her life only a few hours into her 18th year on this earth. a celebration with friends lead to drinking which then lead to one of them mindlessly getting in front of the wheel. later that same day police informed local media of a drunk driving accident where only one out of five had been pronounced dead.

◘ luis velasco, isadora's father, is overtaken by grief. incapable of accepting the loss of his only child. after her memorial and after the casket is dropped and covered with the grounds of the earth, he returns to the cemetery. dig. dig. dig. he shovels up her corpse and takes her back home.

◘ now, it's important to know that luis is a cardiothoracic surgeon. one of the best to grace new york city. during one of his sudden surges of grief he has the twisted thought of bringing his daughter back to life. and if he's been able to repair and keep hearts pumping on the living for years... couldn't he do the same for the dead? so, he starts researching and planning. his daughter's lifeless body lays mummified in his outbuilding that he makes sure to keep locked.

◘ luis finds himself captivated by his work. so much so that his wife jennifer begins to worry. he spends hours, days, sometimes even weeks locked away. trying different methods and each of them failing. weeks turn to months and eventually jennifer slides the divorce papers over to him during dinner. she believes that this will open his eyes. that he will finally come to his senses. but without any hesitation -- he signs.

◘ he's losing his mind. he's tried everything from electroshock therapy on her brain, using defibrillators to jumpstart his daughters heart, but nothing. flatline every single time. he decides to end it all. to let his daughter finally rest. he goes back to living a somewhat normal life. for a few weeks, at least. one day at work, one more idea pops into his mangled mind. compound v. it was his last and only hope.

◘ unbeknownst to the public compound v is stored, hidden, and used in hospitals all across the united states. including the hospital luis works at. he steals a dozen vials and takes them home. he injects 6 into the girl's bloodstream. using electroshock therapy on her brain, the defibrillator to restart her, along with the special serum -- luis finally succeeds. he is met with his daughters chocolate brown eyes once again.

◘ the being that sits across from him at the dining room table resembles his daughter, yes, but that's about it. she came back but now she's different. she has no recollection of her life before her passing. in fact, she doesn't have any thoughts. she's an empty vessel. for the next two years, luis reteaches his daughter how to live. how to exist. teaching her how to walk and talk all over again. he teaches her all of the school subjects. how to cook, clean and take care of herself. he also took some time to teach her about the world around them. how if she took one foot outside of their home, she would be met with harm. he lost her once. he wasn't going to lose her again.

◘ the two of them learned quickly that the compound v blessed isadora with some special abilities. accidentally setting her hand on fire trying to cook -- breaking her leg after tripping on one of the stair steps -- she was invulnerable to feeling any of it. the burns on her hand never even ached and the twisted leg corrected itself in seconds. she was practically immortal.

◘ vought and the hospital luis worked at discover the footage of him stealing 12 vials of compound v and authorities show up at the velasco's house to arrest him. they are shocked to discover that his dead daughter is walking amongst the living once again. they were going to put an end to her life again, but vought steps in before that can happen. they see the girl as an opportunity. a story that would shock millions and potentially bring in lots of publicity. and so, they butter her up. make her feel special and cared for. then they her into godolkin university with individuals like herself. after a few weeks, they move on from her and go on to the next big thing.

[captain-astors]

hi! what about the og quinx squad? :) (sorry for bothering you i just need more tokyo ghoul content and i like to hear people's opinions)

(I forgot about this in my drafts for a bit, I still love doing these) Ooh no worries I'm happy for the chance! I'll start it off short and sweet with my thoughts on the squad as the whole: I love them and their rainbow hair so very dearly. Speaking of rainbow, that's how I'm going to organize them as I rant about the individuals, hair color! so to begin,

Ginshi Shirazu! My pointy-toothed dearest, what is this shark doing outside of his natural habitat, put him back in the ocean. Jokes aside he's definitely the one I will most confidently say I wish the best for. His haircut would make me reconsider my life choices if I saw it in-person but as a work of fiction I like it quite a lot. Tokyo Ghoul is a series in which characters' hair generally follow the laws of gravity to a certain degree, which makes his little sprout stand out all the more. He was with us for less time than the rest but stood out all the more. Speaking of which, my only criticism would be why was he taken from us. Well, more specifically the timing of it Not just because I miss him either, why did it happen in that arc? It wasn't very quinx centric at all, it was about the Tsukiyamas and Haise so to squeeze Shirazu's death in there feels awkward. Guess we couldn't have the extrovert around to be reasonable and uplifting about the entire squad going to hell. As Kuki pondered during the Mutsuki fight, "maybe if we had our ray of sunshine we wouldn't have made the worst decisions of our lives."

Next up on the rainbow, Tooru Mutsuki. Oh my poor son. Look how they massacred my boy. If I ignore the undertones of "being trans is just a coping mechanism and he'll always be feminine and this is directly intertwined to the worst aspects of his character" it can't hurt me. IT CAN'T HURT ME. You deserve better than your parental figure Mutsuki I promise the first man not to shame and condemn you doesn't have to be the object of your affections. I don't know how to knit in the slightest but I'd make him a sweater and teach him how to make garlic bread or something. Disaster. Has done nothing wrong ever and everything wrong ever but I will support him regardless. I just want him to get the chance to heal instead of being given another way to unhealthily supress and hide. I love him dearly. If I had to give one criticism other than the whole. You know. I didn't realize his kagune was supposed to be a Bikaku until I took a closer look at a single panel in a chapter going through it for the second time, it really looks like it was supposed to be a ringkaku, just due to the fact that it seems to be coming from higher up on his back in most panels and takes that kind of tentacle shape.

Alright now, Saiko Yonebayashi! That is the only time I will be spelling her full name, Yonebayashi makes my brain perform a computer reset. A legendary vibe, strengthening your kagune is temporary, shaping it into anime weapons is forever. (I swear I'm not the first person to have this thought so if anyone knows where my brain stole it from let me know.) No complaints, golden standard of characters, perfection in a small package. Okay obviously that was a joke, I suppose it'd be the fact that she isn't really given an arc all her own to change and grow? It makes me sad because all the quinx men are given their moments, and while she has good scenes, where is my Saiko development! Where is my Saiko centric arc! WHERE IS SHE!

And we arrive at Kuki Urie. He's a funny guy to me because we have the same hobbies and similar aspirations to be the best as well as similar rude inner voices, but we're terribly different. Like I can fathom his logic and given the same goal and experiences, I'd do the same but I would never exercise by choice, I will continue being built like a noodle thank you. He's very dense, I like him. I appreciate the role of "the serious one" he plays but there were certainly a few times I just wanted to tell him to shut up and live a little. So that's my criticism. Learn to laugh Urie. Love him.

Now I'm not certain if you'd be including Haise in this but I'm going to for the sake of my own fun. Warning this is going to devolve fast.

Favorite Kaneki, literally just their mom. I wish his reaper transformation had been more like post-Jason, in the way that he's undeniably changed but still you know. A decent person. Instead he's just... whatever reaper Kaneki was. Biggest criticism was Shirazu's death. I don't care how many memories he's regained nor how Urie was being somewhat accusatory, Kuki was grieving, undeniably caught up in the fresh sting of death and memories, and though he did act somewhat arrogant in "why couldn't you save us" that's fairly reasonable. Haise was supposed to watch over them, and he was mainly saying "why weren't you there to say goodbye and comfort him in his final moments, he wanted you there" and despite certainly having at least a COUPLE memories as to Urie's whole complex of “I can’t be weak or rely on anyone because I can only trust myself to be strong enough to save my friends” reaper just says "actually you weren't strong enough to save him it's your fault again." Realistically that would've doubled down on that mentality and it probably did! I wish it was explored more but wow having the closest thing to a parent tell you the death of one of the closest people to you is your fault just like you've feared it would be, would mess up anyone. Moral of the story is love Haise, hate the reaper.

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

seeing someone else.

BISHOP LOSA. MAYANS MC ┃ USEFUL LINKS

❝ request by @encounterthepast: Hello lovely Aurora, can I request angst prompt number 7 with Bishop please, thank you, 💕

❝ prompt: “Don’t you dare to lie to me again”.

❝ request by @arveeee: Hello my dear, so I was thinking, and there is one sentence to that can't go out of my head. So it is: "let me in" with Bishop (I know I'm boring). Well I believe in you, I love you , and I love your writing. Say hello to Arya.

❝ request by anon: Hi, Aurora. I love your writing sm 🥺 I was wondering if I could request an imagine with my man Bishop? I was thinking of something like the reader and him being in kinda like a friends with benefits situation, but she decides to break it offf because she’s really upset. And maybe Bishop doesn’t understand so she eventually explains to him that she wants more out of their relationship and he reassures her they are more and they always have been? Maybe leads to like soft/romantic smut? Thanks so much!

❝ request by @meteora-fc: hello hello! so, that new trailer huh?😵 would absolutely love if you could write me something for a stressed out bishop with the prompts "Stop ignoring me, it’s driving me crazy!" and "Let me help you make it better." Thank you tons!!💖

❝ words: about 1.4k.

❝ a / n: as always, don’t forget to comment and reblog if you liked it!

Another tequila shot goes down your throat, ripping it off as you almost smash the small glass on the table. Tossing your head back as you rest your back against the sofa, sitting on the floor, you take a look around you. The gloomy has taken over your house as the night has fallen a couple of hours ago. It's the fourth night you are trying to forget about Bishop and whatever you two had. But you can't dismiss from your mind his caresses —his fingers drawing patterns on your back, his lips touring your neck with delicate kisses as if he was afraid of breaking your skin, his mustache tickling your inner thighs, his raspy voice articulating your name in moans. It's the fourth night miserably failing, remembering the last time you spent together, the way he was holding his back pretending he wasn't sad because you were leaving him.

“Obispo, it's over. Don't make a big deal. We're just friends who occasionally fucks”. You scoffed somewhat annoyed because of him and his interrogation, but how could you tell him you were falling in love with him?

“I ain't making any deal, (Y/N). I just want to know what made you change your mind and keep a wide berth”.

“I'm seeing someone else”.

"Don't you dare to lie to me”. He growled, taking a step closer towards you with the intention of stopping you from picking up and packing the less stuff you had in his house.

“Think what you want”. You replied, rolling your eyes.

The first tear flows in the left corner of your mouth not appreciably at first, but then, some more until finding yourself crying. You miss him so much. You miss watching him sleep peacefully in the small hours, drifting slightly when you caress his cheek using your fingertips. Flexing your knees to your chest, you wrap your arms around trying to contain the loud sobs, hiding your face between them. How have you been so stupid to fall for him like that? The two of you made it clear from the very first moment. Friends with benefits. But after a couple of weeks, you started to notice that he used to push away any other woman that it wasn't you, he didn't spend much time in the clubhouse preferring to do it in your house —cuddling, watching movies, playing poker; kissing every single inch of flesh covering your anatomy.

Reality hit you the moment he murmured something like you're a miracle, thinking you were calmly sleeping between his strong arms and your back stuck to his chest, no distance among your bodies. You knew it was a thing produced by the alcohol running through your veins and it wasn't fair for you to fantasize about the idea he was catching feelings for you. So you just ran away, like a coward.

Some clumsy knocks on the front door of your house bring you back to reality. At first, you try to ignore them. It's not like you're in the mood for visits, knowing that probably it's Leti at the other side of the place, worried because you haven't replied to her text all day. But she insists and insists. And you know how stubborn she can be sometimes. Serving yourself another shot and drinking it in just one gulp, because you're too sober to endure another of her Ted talks about positivism and what he has lost, you stand up on your bare feet. Everything around you spins dizzyingly for a second until you can react, feeling every knock like a hammer hitting your brain.

“I've heard you the fi—”.

Opening the door to receive her, your vocals get frozen as you face Bishop in a deplorable drunk state. Just like you are.

“Let me in”. He barks, not being able to look at your eyes, trying to pass you away to the inside, but you stop him.

“Go home, Obis—”.

“I'm home, shut the fuck up”. He frowns taking a sip from a bottle of whisky you haven't noticed till now. “You think you can kick my fuckin' ass outta your life by saying you're seeing someone else? You think I'm fuckin' stupid, queri— Were you crying…?”

From anger, his tone of voice falls to one lower and lower, as the concern and the worry cover his annoyance completely. Throwing away his drink to somewhere over the grass of your yard, he holds your face onto his palms. His touch causes you to tremble. His warm touch causes you to break into aching sobs, panting as you can't breathe properly. All this time you've been thinking you have missed him, but you didn't have a real idea of how it feels until his fingers have been laid on your wetted skin.

Bishop comes closer to you, touching the tip of your nose with his. You can smell the mixed scent of cigarettes and whisky emanating from his cracked lips, it doesn't bother you, tho. “Don't kiss me, please”.

Until this precise moment, he has loved your begs and pleads to his bones, but now he hates them more than anything he could ever hate in his life. It breaks his heart. He can't deal with your rejection one night more.

“Why…? Why can't I kiss you?” He asks desperately at the edge of his tears. “Please, stop ignoring me, it's driving me crazy. I can't even take care of my own shit without you by my side”.

Your knees feel weak at his words, still believing he only says that because you're just a good lover, the best in the sheets, as he told you once.

“I… I…” You babble nervously, trying to not place your hands on the laps of his leather kutte to finally push him into the needed kiss you've been craving for the last four days. “I love you”.

And why the confession doesn't take him by surprise? Why doesn't he look confused? Why does it seem like he already knew it? Bishop can't help but draw a fleeting grin across his face.

“Do you think I came here, falling into pieces, just because it feels like being in Heaven when I'm deep inside you?” He whispers, clicking his tongue slightly. “I didn't believe you when you told me you were seeing someone else. But the minimal thought I could have about it made me lose the less sanity I have”.

You blink stupefied at his own confession about his feelings. Your fingers tour his abdomen up in slow motion, starting to have some faith in his words.

“Mi amor…” Bishop mumbles in soft giggles shaking his head. “I adore you, mi amor. I don't want anything else than to share my life with you, and only with you”.

He doesn't wait for a signal from you to kiss your lips, he just takes what it's his. And you can't hold back a painful gasp, expelling in it all the sorrow you've been carrying for the last four days being separated from him. Your hands grip his shirt in two fists, pushing him as much closer as the two of you can be, about to melt in the same figure. All this time you have been trying to not love him, to forget him; and you were just delaying the inevitable. You are made for each other, that's a fact. Your lips fit to perfection —your bodies, your hearts.

“Tell me you love me”. You whimper against his mouth, causing him to smile because of your need of making it real by these simple three words.

“Love isn't enough to express what you make me feel”.

Bishop bends down without prior notice to wrap his huge hands on the back of your thighs, urging you to jump onto him and surround his waist with your legs. You haven't forgotten how good his warmth takes over you when he holds you like that, walking inside your house and kicking the door close. Guiding his steps across your place and its hallways, he reaches your dark dorm barely illuminated by a post light outdoors. He lies you down on your bed —a bed that has welcomed you for the last eight months in every kind of state. Drunk, tired, happy.

Now, you're a mix of them. Drunk in tequila, tired of crying, but happy for having him back for the rest of your life.

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[roger-that-cap]

meet me in the gardens

summary: being the widow of a decently wealthy lord and sitting on a large plot of land automatically meant that you were a candidate for the program that you couldn’t say not to; the hosting. you had to sponsor a knight and keep them in your home for an entire year, which was troublesome enough on its own. but you never expected your knight to be a woman, and you certainly didn’t expect to have a full on illegal love affair with her, either. 

warnings: lots of emotions, feelings, slightly cynical and bitter reader- she’s honestly just being a realist, we are chugging forward, did not check for typos, format could be fucked up bc i’m posting from my phone quite literally minutes before i clock in- PATHETIC LMAO

word count: 2.7k

this is a short chapter by my standards, but it felt long to me because of the things in it??? this is part five! all other parts can be found on my masterlist, it’s my pinned post!

“What’s got you smiling like that?” Wanda asked while she tied your corset, not even needing to ask whether it was too tight or loose. You looked up in your vanity and immediately tried to wipe your smile away, but it was too late. She knew you better than anyone, and she had yet to see a thoughtful smile on your face, ever. Pietro, who had caught you going back inside the previous night, caught on to the fact that you looked more carefree, and that you just seemed to look like you were carrying around less. 

“Nothing.” 

“Hmm,” Wanda hummed, an entertained look on her face. Something told you that she already had an idea of what was going on, even though there was no way she could have. Besides, you hardly even knew what was going on. “I’ll ask again later.” She looked you in the eyes through the mirror, a slightly mischievous smile on her face. “Maybe then you’ll tell the truth,” she said, flicking you on the side of the head, and then letting it rest.

§§

Natasha was out in the village doing whatever it was the knights did one night, and she was planning on spending the night at a bed and breakfast before coming back in the morning. As disheartened as you were about not being able to see her for your stargazing, you were partly glad for it. You missed being with the twins. 

You had dinner with them alone, sitting and laughing about old memories and scheduling times to make new ones together. You loved the way you could be with them. Your laughter was allowed to go over the volume of a giggle without them looking at you like you had grown seven heads, your silverware were allowed to take a tumble onto your plate with a clatter without a second glance, and you were allowed to use whatever language you pleased. You missed the comfort that you felt with them, the comfort that your brain and the part of you that would always be the farm girl felt with them. 

“And Pietro chased him all the way off, you should have seen how terrified he was,” Wanda recapped, and you couldn't help but grin at Pietro, who was sipping wine with his charming grin. “That boy will never lift another skirt, I can assure you of that.” 

“I’m glad,” you mused, shooting Pietro a look that made him laugh. 

“Enough about me,” he said after swallowing a sip of his wine that was much more like a gulp. “We’re not going to talk about how you’ve been walking on the clouds for weeks now?” 

You nearly dropped your fork again. “What do you mean?”

“We’ve both realized,” Pietro said, motioning with his buttered knife towards his sister, who had a soft smile on her face as she observed your reaction. “That you have been significantly happier. Even with the circumstances-”

“Pietro,” Wanda hissed, but you just snorted and shook your head. 

“It’s like you found your own little pocket of happiness. We were worried about you, but, you’re doing alright.” Ever the blatant one out of the three of you, he leaned forward with his trademark smirk, eyes full of curiosity. “What do you know that we don't?” 

You hesitated for a second, mouth opening and closing twice as you grappled for anything to say, even a lie. And then, you settled on just shrugging your shoulders with a grin, shaking your head. “Honestly, Pietro, I know nothing. I don’t know anything.”

§§

Your heart was beating faster than normal as you looked at the woman next to you, your hand subconsciously itching closer to hers as you sat on the ground, ass on the blanket that you had brought out.  “I would like to… show you something.” 

It was probably the twentieth time that you and Natasha had met with each other, and still, you were entranced by her and everything that she did.  And you were entranced while you stared at her and waited for her answer, just a little nervous as to what she would say. 

As if she would ever say no to something you said. 

“Show me anything you’d like me to see,” Natasha urged on, and you fought back a smile. You stood up, and she did the same, and then you were picking up the blanket and walking side by side with her. It was quiet the entire way there as you walked in step with her, hand brushing against her every few steps and sending tingles down your arm every time it happened. 

The feeling that you got when she touched you made you feel both alive and scared to death. You weren’t stupid. You knew what you were steadily collecting more than friendly feelings for her, and that she may have been on the same page you were on. The game you were playing was a dangerous one, the risk threatening to swallow up the reward more and more by the day. 

You had known that being with her by yourself was bad judgement, ever since the first time you did it. Hell, the look you gave her the first time you met her was far from appropriate. Every single conversation that you had with her was a risk, and both of you knew it. And now that your soon-to-be husband was approaching, it was even more scandalous. No one knew and you hoped no one would ever find out, but hiding forever wasn’t a choice. But what would you be hiding if there were no true feelings? 

You hated yourself for falling for her and her pretty words. 

“I used to come here to escape,” you started, pulling yourself out of your thoughts, voice low as you passed the tree line to get into the thick of the woods. You narrowly missed stepping in a particularly muddy spot on the ground. “This was my spot, before I got the garden of course.”

“The woods?” 

“No, Nat,” you said, slightly amused as you stepped over a fallen branch. You smiled a bit when the sound of running water hit your ears.  “The stream.” 

You knew the exact second that she saw it, because her eyes widened and her breath hitched.  “That’s not a stream, that’s a river.”

“It’s the forgotten part of the main river,” you explained. “It’s much skinnier and more shallow, and it doesn't have nearly as much fish coming through, so people forget about it.” You looked towards her and saw how intrigued she was by it, so you judged her armor free body with a slight smirk. “What? Never seen running water?”

“I lived in the capital, all they had was the ocean. And even then I was never allowed on the harbor if I wasn’t selling clams, and I didn’t sell clams much.”

You felt silence start to grow between the two of you, so you said the first thing that you thought of. “You don’t look like a clam seller.” 

He looked away from the river and to you, a slight grin on her face even as she talked again. “And you don’t look like a petal kisser, blossom, but look where we are today.”

Your heart raced in your chest. “Blossom? Is that what you’re calling me now?” 

“It’s only payback for calling me ‘cherry’,” she said, and you stifled a laugh at the retired name, glancing up at the red hair that you had gotten inspiration from.  

“You didn’t actually mind it,” you said, looking off into the distance, only looking back at her when a warm hand slotted over yours. You blinked and looked down at your hands, which she had intertwined, and then back up at her again, only to see that she was staring straight ahead in the dark at the way the moonlight hit the water. 

“How could I?” She asked softly, a subtle breeze picking up.”You were the one saying it.” She looked at you, and in the dim lighting, you could have sworn that her eyes were saying, you can call me anything in the book, and I will own it proudly. And then, the look changed to something else, something less devoting, and something more passionate. It took you a few seconds to understand what the look meant, and before you could fully register it, she was leaning forward. 

A few seconds came and went where you could feel your heartbeat all over, and you tried to look somewhere other than in her eyes. You couldn't. “Don’t look at me like that.” When all Natasha did was tilt her head to the side and give you an even more intense version of the look, you let out a small sigh. “Please.”

“Why not?” 

She knew why. She knew why probably better than you did after living in the capital. She saw what happened firsthand to people who committed crimes, and those who committed second degree adultery. If you two did what you were wanting to do with your entire heart, you would fall right into that category. “I know where this is going,” you said softly, “and this won’t end well.” 

“Why not?” She asked again, and you turned your head to the side, shaking it slightly and closing your eyes. 

“Because, I’m about to get married,” you hissed, and though you didn’t mean to sound so angry, you did. Natasha was hardly affected. 

She lifted her arms and let them fall against her clothing with a soft slap that still echoed in the night. “You’re not married right now.” 

“But I will be, Natasha,” you said, gripping her hands and squeezing  them softly, begging for her to understand you. “What’s going to happen when I get married to a man who already has a streak for murdering his wives, and he finds out that I have feelings for you? He’ll kill me. He’ll kill you. And if he doesn’t, we’ll both be hung for adultery, after being put into torture camps for being… together as women.” 

“I’m not going to let anyone hurt you, Y/N, you know that.” The fervency in her tone nearly shocked you as she took a bold step forward, nearly surrounding you in her scent and energy. “I would never let anything happen to you.” 

“You’re too important for me to condemn to death and dishonor just because I have feelings for you. It was selfish of me to meet with you in the first place, but I can’t let myself do this. It’s a bad idea,” You said, voice hushed even though no one would have followed you. You were trembling, hand shaking more than anything else as you tried to understand how fast everything was moving; forward and backwards, sewing together and ripping apart all the same. If you were any more attentive to her expression, you would have seen the grin that lit up her face as your confession. “We were just about to cross a line. We’ve crossed quite a few dotted ones, but this one? It is bold and blaring.” 

“Blossom,” Natasha started, and you just shook your head and kept going. 

“And-and what we were just about to do? That crosses the line. We cannot.” 

“Do you really think my feelings for you are going to change depending on whether or not we kiss?” She asked, her voice slightly deeper than usual, almost sounding insulted. “You’re telling me to close my heart off from you, not to not kiss you. And you know that.”  

“What if I am?” You asked, eyes starting to burn with tears. “I’m doing it for the right reasons, Nat. I’m trying to save us from a world of hurt when reality finally sinks in.”

“That isn’t today.” She took another step forward and this time, you couldn't find the strength in you to step back. “And it isn’t tomorrow, and not even within the fortnight. You and I have something, and I know that you know it’s different. It’s special. We would be so stupid to ignore it, so stupid.” 

“I know, I know,” you said, voice tapering off into a whine as you slowly felt your resolve come apart, even though you thought it was stronger. “I’m sorry.”

 “You don’t have to apologize,” Natasha said after a few minutes of pure silence, and you found yourself exhaling. “I just wish things were different.” 

  “I know,” she said, and you turned to look up at the sky, tears threatening to come down on your cheeks. The stars seemed to twinkle and wink at you, talking amongst themselves about a future you had no idea about just yet. 

“Guess they’re never gonna line up,” you murmured to yourself, and then you heard Natasha grumble something from your side, and then she was coming closer, a barreling energy force full of passion and intent, and you knew exactly what she was coming for. For less than a split second, you thought about it. And then you turned your head and met her halfway. 

You would have been surprised by the passion in it if you weren’t just as desperate for the contact. You twisted in her arms, already wrapped around you as she drew you in close, closer than you had ever been with her, and the tears that were welling up before were now escaping for a different reason. Your lips were pressing into hers, moving fluidly and with an air of fervor that she matched equally. You felt wanted, and needed, and you felt loved. You felt the tenderness of the moment with every brush of her fingers on the back of your neck and with every rub of your back over the thin material of your night dress. 

Your legs were shaking, and she noticed before you did that you were getting weak in the knees. She held you up and pulled back slightly, just enough for you to feel her lips brush against yours while she asked if you were okay, like she wasn’t willing to take herself from you just yet. And honestly, you weren’t ready for her to leave you, either. You nodded, and she leaned in again, much slower, and then you had time to think. 

Her eyes weren’t the same shade they were when the sun hit them, they were almost an eerie pale blue, but they were still just as gorgeous to you, especially now that they were slanted with desire. Her hair wasn’t perfect like she somehow always managed or it to be, and you realized that it was because you had gotten a hand to run through it despite the way that she had previously held you like a lifeline. Her lashes were long, and you swore that she was close enough that you could count them. Her cheekbones were accentuated in the lighting, making her look like something straight out of a fairy tale, like a floating fae creature that led people to safety. In that moment, you could have sworn that she was the answer to every prayer you had ever whispered, to every question you had ever asked your etiquette teachers. In that moment, and in every moment to come, she was your ending and beginning, your creation and destruction, your sunrise and sunset. She was Natasha Romanoff, and in that moment, no wedding or murderous man even held a candle to the way you felt about her.

  What a beautiful person. 

“Now you’re looking at me strangely,” Natasha said, her voice quieter than you had ever heard it as the both of you treated over the moment carefully, trying not to break it and leave it in shambles. “What are you thinking about?” 

“How I’m going to have to pretend like this never happened in a few weeks,” you said softly, and part of you hated yourself for bringing up the bad part of the future so soon after you both had just lost all ties to reality. 

“You don’t have to,” she said, stroking your hair. “We can just keep doing what we’re doing, sneaking off in the night and coming back in the morning before anyone realizes. Nothing really has to change, I just want you to know that I… that we can be whatever you want us to be.” 

“As long as we’re in the confines of the garden walls.” 

“And now the woods,” Natasha said, and you couldn’t help but laugh in her arms. 

“And now the woods."

****

this is short, but i couldn’t see anything being tacked on to this. we’re at an important part, and from here it’s gonna be fun!! thank y’all for reading; if you liked it please drop a like and a reblog bc it makes my day!! comments also make me ascend y’all

tags!! : tags! : @teenwonder @saamwilscn @procrastinatingsapphictrash @fayhar @8plasma @slut-for-nat @dontmindmejustreading @swords-are-cool @200605chaeng @thescottishavenger @antidaytime @jenny-song @madamevirgo @natasha-danvers @blackxwidowsxwife​ @shycucumbersandwich @dailyavengering @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @ima-gi--na-tion @chickenhavewisdom

so sorry if i forgot anyone!!!!!

[odd-birds-and-booksellers]

“Alex…” Jo interrupts, her hand slowly curing round his, the one resting on her bump. He can feel his lips trembling as the tears he’d fought so hard to keep at bay begin to fall. 

"I put glow in the dark stars up.” He whispered. "So she can't be dead."

On one of the rare occasions, Alex and Jo’s days off don’t coincide, Alex finds himself wishing for a six-hour surgery, hell he’d rather be removing splinters than deciding between lemon sherbet and soft daffodil. To say he was excited about the impending arrival of their second child would be an understatement but completing the ridiculously long list Jo had left him to do this morning before rushing off with Robin felt more like torture.

He understood though, with only two months to go everything seemed to pile up on them, the quiet calm they had mistaken for panic when Robin was on the way paled in comparison when they were trying to juggle two full time demanding careers, a new puppy, a new baby and a toddler whose main goal in life seemed to be giving his parents a heart attack with the many hiding places he could find.

And this is how Alex found himself staring into the abyss of a million Amazon boxes that Jo had somehow managed to sneak by him, with various shades of yellow paint cans dotted around.

He understood Jo’s desire to make everything perfect, she’d been that way since she’d stepped out of the loft bathroom over two years ago, her hands shaking as she lifted the test towards him clearly displaying two lines. He swears they both had good intentions when Robin was born, he wouldn’t be spoiled, there wouldn't be gifts that make up for missing birthdays or missing bedtimes, they’d be honest about mommy and daddy having to work hard for everything they have and yet they couldn’t seem to stop themselves, because the luxury of giving their son and now their daughter everything they’d never had brought more happiness to Jo and Alex then maybe their children would ever understand. There could never be a single second their children doubted how loved and wanted they truly were, so it didn’t matter if their daughter would be in with them for the first few months, her room had to be finished before she arrived.

Their daughter...he smiles at the mere thought of her, their daughter, who likes to kick when their reading Robins bedtime stories, or plays the guitar on Jo’s rib cage until Alex sings along softly with her in the early hours of the morning, their daughter who’d refused to make herself seen for the first two scans.

It’s only when Alex finishes the last coat of soft daffodil that he hears the faint ringing of his phone above the radio. Shuffling down the ladder he wipes the back of his hand on his shirt as he hears the familiar ringtone sound again making Alex frown as he manages to navigate his way through the maze of boxes he's built around himself.

There’s a slight twitch in his chest as he begins down the stairs hearing his phone fall quiet only to start up again seconds later. He finds it still plugged in by the coffee machine where he’d left it, glancing at the screen to see he had twelve missed calls and three voicemails.

There's a definite twitch in his chest now as he clicks play on Jo's first voicemail, his lips twitching up at the sound of Robin's singing. They sounded like they were still in the car as Jo listed off a few more things she needed him to do.

"Hey, sorry I know you said not to go overboard but there are two more deliveries coming today so make sure to listen out for them and oh oh...if you get a chance to go grocery shopping we need...well we need pretty much everything but get me those cupcakes with the oranges on them and oh erm..." She paused after taking a slightly heavy breath. "I do not feel great today, maybe I can get someone to take over my surgeries. Oh and don’t forget to get the box of baby clothes down from the attic will you...okay... I love you, Alex, I’ll call you later."

He frowned quickly, bypassing the message Meredith had left, assuming it was whatever love triangle tragedy she had that day. He finds Jo's second message. There was no greeting to this one, only Jo's panicked voice.

"Why aren’t you answering the phone Alex? What’s the point of having one if you don’t ever answer it?”

His phone beeped again, signalling another message had been left, this time from Meredith again.

"Alex, where the hell are you? You need to be here now. I don't know if Jo is trying not to worry you but Carina is having her admitted so get over here before I leave work and drag you here myself.”

He felt his heart begin to drop in his chest as he hit replay, trying to piece together what was happening. Before he even knew it his feet were carrying him towards the front door, keys in hand as he rushed out. His entire mind had narrowed in on one simple need: to get to Jo.

He couldn't think of much else as he drove, he doesn’t even remember his route to the hospital he just remembers being at home and then bursting through the doors of Grey Sloan. He was severely out of breath by the time he caught sight of Meredith outside the maternity ward talking quietly with Bailey.

The best thing about Meredith, and what made her excel as a doctor, was that she was damn good in a crisis. So she knew the minute their eyes met that Alex just needed Jo. As soon as he’s within reach she wraps an arm around his shoulder—which felt way too much like condolences for Alex's liking and leads him through the doors where Carina was already waiting. This had to be a mistake. Jo was fine last night. Their daughter was fine last night. He’d felt her kicking as they’d talked. They’d talked about his mom's upcoming visit, and maybe going to see Amber and her family for Christmas or inviting them here.

"—I know. It's awful." Carina mutters her eyes on Jo's chart. The intern beside her nodded in agreement.

"I hope Dr Karev shows up before the ultrasound. She shouldn't have to deal with that alone." The intern responds.

“He’s here,” Carina whispers as she looks up, hearing Alex and Meredith footsteps as she tucks the chart under her arm. “If you can go set up the ultrasound while I talk to him.”

"Of course."

Alex gulps at the sorrow on Carina’s face as she steps closer, it's all too much for him as he averts his gaze down to the floor, his eyes catching on the silver band around his finger, splattered with yellow paint from earlier.

"What's going on?" Alex asks, hearing his voice crack as Meredith drops her hand from his back.

"Alex, you need to take a breath and pull yourself together because right now Jo needs you.”

He doesn't respond to Mer, doesn't even look at her as he raises his gaze back towards Carina, “What’s going on?” He repeats, his voice lower this time.

"Jo's in premature labour. She mentioned a couple of hours ago that she had some pretty bad Braxton Hicks, but then she timed them and they were too close together and too regular. So she paged me, and when I checked her cervix had already begun to open-”

Alex found himself nodding along but Carina’s words soon faded to quiet buzz in his ears. His fingers are already twitching to hold Jo. This couldn’t be happening, not to them. Not now.

"Okay." He whispers his voice dangerously low as he blinks back tears, desperately trying to pull himself together when everything in him was burning. Please don’t do this, please don’t take her from us, please don’t do this to her . He can feel his nails digging into the palm of his hand, the only way he's sure he’s still alive is the dull pain he feels as he takes a deep breath gathering himself slowly. Suddenly his doctor brain kicks in as he begins to ask what they are doing to fix this, listing everything he knew like he wasn’t surrounded by some of the best doctors he knew.

Carina nods, her words still buzzing in Alex’s head as she explains the past couple of hours, Jo’s contractions stopped an hour ago, her cervix hasn't opened any further.

“We’re just waiting to do an ultrasound...it really needs to be done right away.”

“Right...what's the problem then?”

“She’s refusing Alex, won't let anyone near her.”

Alex shakes his head, that's not true. Jo wouldn’t...she would never do anything that could harm their baby. She wouldn’t refuse medical care. He watches as Meredith shoots another look to Carina who sighs, tilting her head in a way that has Alex’s heart dropping into his stomach. “I tried earlier with the stethoscope to find the heartbeat...and was unsuccessful.”

"Alex, do you understand? We couldn't find a heartbeat. Dr DeLuca tried and I did too. Even Jo tried...now she’s refusing the ultrasound, she won’t let anyone touch her."

The childish reaction was quick and automatic. "Maybe you didn’t try hard enough, you didn’t do it right, okay? You know you should check properly.”

Carina took a deep breath. "Alex, I'm sorry. I’m going to do an ultrasound, of course, but…I don't know. It's usually easy to hear it with a stethoscope at twenty-eight weeks. Intrauterine deaths happen and there's not much—"

He felt like he couldn't breathe. His hand was clutching at his chest trying to feel the air filling his lungs but he couldn’t feel a thing as everything went fuzzy again. "Stop. Just shut up. You don’t know Jo. You don’t know our…"

"I'm so, so, s o sorry, Alex," Mer whispered. "I know how much you wanted her."

He felt his eyes burning. "I still want her. And you're wrong because I just felt her kick last night. She was kicking when I sang—she always does that. She does. So she can't be dead."

He chokes on his words. “She’s not...dead.”

There’s a quiet discussion mainly between Carina and Meredith who seems to be answering for Alex as they both guide him towards a door at the end of the corridor:

He has to stand outside the door for a full minute as he tries to get a hold of himself. He doesn’t want his face to show how truly scared he is at this moment.

When he does finally gather himself enough to step into the room he notices how the curtains were pulled, blocking almost all of the sunlight from the otherwise dark room. Jo was curled up onto her side, her entire body tucked protectively around Robin's sleeping frame. She hadn't even lifted her head or made a move to turn when the door shut behind Alex, and that terrified him so deeply that he couldn't even move. It had all suddenly gotten very real.

He walked slowly around the bed so he could see her face, he needed to meet her eyes or he’d never believe any of this was true. But as he rounded the bed he was met with her blank stare, blinking slowly as she took in his form.

"Robin needs to go home. I don't want him to have to see any more of this." She said quietly. She made no move to speak about what was going on. She was emotionless and it terrified him. Suddenly flashbacks of the first time he’d ever seen her look so shut down came to mind. When she’d first met her biological mother. When she’d shut down and left him out in the cold. He wasn’t sure he could survive it back then, he’d needed her so much but now he was certain he’d never survive without her.

Alex turned his focus to his son, who was asleep with his face scrunched up against Jo’s chest, his chubby hands resting on the swell of her stomach.

"I can get Mer to take him home with her." He told Jo quietly, he couldn't find any other words to say, it seemed neither could she.

Jo just nods in response but makes no effort to move. Alex could tell by her hand curling tighter around Robin's back that she wasn’t quite ready to let him go yet.

He’s not sure how much time passes next, as he takes a seat carefully on the edge of the bed. Reaching out gingerly to run his hands softly across Jo's cheek. And it’s in that moment when their eyes meet, his thumb tracing the already dried tear tracks down her face that they break. She lifts her right arm gathering a handful of his shirt tightly pulling him closer, pressing her cheek against his chest so she could hear his steady heartbeat. She doesn't say anything and for a second she’s silent before the sob she must’ve been holding back erupts from her and Alex can feel the tears begin to soak through his T-shirt. He feels powerless, all he can do is keep a steady arm wrapped around his wife holding her tightly to him. That was what hurt him the most about this. He couldn't do anything to take her pain away. He couldn’t fix this.

“Jo…Jo Carina is waiting to do an ultrasound…we need…we need to be sure.” Alex sighs trying to keep his tears at bay as she continues to shake in his arms. “Why won’t you let her help?”

"I didn't want anyone else." She finally admits, loosening her grip enough that he can see her face, her lips trembling as she speaks. The sight alone sends another sharp stab through Alex’s heart. "I didn't want anyone. I wanted you. I wanted—I wanted you to make it better."

Alex nods, wishing with everything in him that he could make any of this better. He lets out a shaky breath as Jo settles back down so her head was resting on his chest, her face pressing into his collarbone. He knows it is selfish, he knows it might kill them both but he can’t help reaching out over Robin's little body and pressing his hand to her stomach. He waits a moment…before pressing again, still waiting to feel the usual response. He hears Jo's breath hitch as she too waits for the little nudge of their daughter's feet, he knows she’s usually responded by now but he waits, he just keeps waiting. He thinks sort of him will always be waiting for that little kick…he thinks this moment might be frozen in time. Not us. This happens to people, but not us. Maybe it wasn’t fair to think like that, after all, every day he sees the worst card parents could ever be handed in life and yet he says the same lines about support groups and doing everything he could and not once did he think he’d ever need to hear those words.

He doesn’t know how long he keeps his hand there just waiting. "I just finished painting the nursery. I went with soft daffodils but if you prefer lemon sherbet we can change it…we can pick whatever colour you want, and I know I said we didn’t need a new crib but if you want that fancy one we’ll-“

“Alex…” Jo interrupts, her hand slowly curling around his own on her bump. He can feel his own lips trembling as the tears he’d fought so hard to keep at bay begin to fall.

"I put glow in the dark stars up.” He whispered. "So she can't be dead."

There’s no logic to what he said. There’s no truth to his reasoning but he believes it. Jo winces at his words or more likely one word in particular. He feels her drag his hand down to where Robin's tiny hands rest, a little reminder of what they still have.

Alex moves closer to them, pulling Robin gently onto his chest, sliding over and opening his arms for Jo. Letting her sink into him. She rests against him like she no longer has the strength to hold herself up.

“I'm sorry. I thought it was nothing more than Braxton Hicks. Can you believe that? I’m a freaking doctor and I couldn’t tell the difference between Braxton hicks and labour. I should have known better. I did this. This is my fault—"

Alex cuts her off, shushing her. "It's not your fault," he assures her. Life was unfair. He knew that. But this pain Jo didn’t deserve. Not his children. Not Robin. Not their new little girl with the stars on her ceiling. Not his family. They hadn't built this together for it to be broken.

"Please don't cry," she pleaded, her voice wavering. "Please don't, it terrifies me. I'm already so scared, Alex. I'm so scared."

Alex just nods, swallowing deeply as he pulls her tighter against his side. It was true that everything had changed once he'd had children. He no longer understood how he had lived without them. And he was realizing that everything he gained could be taken just as easily. He knew that, if this baby really were gone, there would be nothing he could do to ever fix the pain that would settle in Jo's heart or his own for that matter.

He feels Robin begin to stir against him and he forces a smile on his face and kisses his head, smiling genuinely when the little one lifts his arms, reaching out for his father in an instant.

"Daddy” He cheered, his little fists gripping Alex’s T-shirt as he shifted him higher up his chest. He settles his palm on the back of his head and kisses his head again.

"Robin, how would you feel about playing with Ellis, Bailey and Zola tonight?" He asks him carefully.

Robin is as stubborn as his mother. "Scout?" He suggests instead.

"Yeah okay, we can see if Uncle Link will take you. You can play with Scout and then mommy and daddy will see you when you wake up." He knows Robin has no real clue on what’s happening around him but he knew Jo had been right. He didn't need to be here.

Robin lifts his head and peers down at Jo. He seemed to be thinking hard about the proposition before shaking his head fiercely.

"No."

No was his new favourite word and Alex was already sick of hearing it. He strokes his hair back as he meets eyes with Jo. Her tears are still falling steadily. Her hands spread out over her stomach and he knew she was waiting to feel something still.

"No, I want mommy," Robin insists. His little face mustering up what Alex assumed was a scowl as he reached over to wrap his hand around one of Jo's curls hanging loose in front of her face. Alex didn’t have it in him to battle Robin today, it’s not like he wanted to let go of Jo either.

They were out of time to decide what to do about Robin because Carina was already wheeling in the ultrasound. Jo tensed beside him, her hand gripping his tightly as he rose from his place on the bed lifting Robin with him.

"I can't. Please." She whispers and if possible his heart cracked even more.

She was hanging on by a thin thread, but she was hanging onto him. They could survive this…they could survive it together. He lifts Robin higher up his chest, gently cradling Robin's head to his shoulder as the little one's legs wrapped around him.

Alex stared at the swell of Jo’s stomach, the same stomach he'd kissed just last night and singing old country songs much to Jo's amusement. There was no way…there was no way she was…he’d just finished her room…the paint was still wet. Her name is written in stars above her crib. She can’t be.

Alex didn't even realize he was crying until Carina flashes him a sympathetic smile. Robin lifts his head as he squirms in his fathers’ tight grip, peering up at him with a frown. Reaching out to touch his cheeks with his small hands.

"Daddy sad?” He whispers curiously. Alex was torn because there’s no way of explaining this to their toddler and he doesn't want to scare him. Instead, he settles for pressing him back against his chest, his little face squeezed against his neck because while he didn’t want him to watch he also couldn’t bear to let him go.

He watches as Carina helps Jo to sit up. It was too much to watch, the way her whole body shakes as her cries shook through her. He reached for her hand, laying limp by her side, his hand covering hers as he threaded their fingers together. She squeezes his hand back, gripping onto him like he was the only thing stopping her from coming undone. Her hand in his gave him a spark of hope that maybe no matter what happened next they’d make it together, as long they just kept holding on.

He almost dropped Robin in paralyzing relief when the familiar whooshing of the heartbeat filled the room. He lets out a cry of relief as he shakes his head. Alex presses his face back into Robin's hair and squeezes Jo's hand tightly, his heart still pounding away.

"Why wasn't she moving?" Jo asks, her voice hoarse. "I tried everything and she wouldn't move. And why couldn't you find it before?"

"Babies don't move much if at all during labour," Carina explained. "And I don't know. I listened for such a long time.” Once again Alex’s mind blocks out the surrounding noise until it’s a quiet buzz. Instead, he focuses on the image of their baby girl on the screen, the feel of Robin's hot breath against his neck and Jo's hand still clutching his tightly. His family. He’s had these images ever since they’d decided to try for a second…maybe even longer, before Robin, before he and Jo had even got married he’d had this whole dream…Jo, their kids and the house they’d live in and the life they’d live. “But you'll have to be on strict bed rest for the rest of this pregnancy, and even then there's no way to know how long you can prolong labour. If we can keep her from being born for at least a month she’ll be in a much better position."

He comes back down to reality when he feels Jo tug at his hand, she’s looking up at him expectantly. “There’s our girl,” He whispers, leaning closer, pressing a quiet kiss to her hair, not even glancing at Carina as she backs out of the room to give them a moment.

"What if I have to give birth soon?" She mumbled into his shirt. "What if we lose her anyway?"

He shook his head firmly. "We won't.”

He kisses her forehead and glances down at Robin before turning back to Jo. She was looking at him with that look. The one that communicated very clearly that she trusted him with everything in her.

Alex set his hands on her stomach and let out another relieved breath.

"God." He said quietly. She set her hand over his and caressed the back of his hand with her thumb.

Jo's expression twists with guilt. "I’m so sorry...this is all my fault. I've been overworking myself. I always think I can do so much more than I can and our girl is suffering because of it. Maybe I'm not fit to be a mother."

Alex shook his head. "If you're not fit to be a mother, Jo, no one is. Hell, you know what an unfit parent looks like and you are not one."

She opens her mouth to say something else, but abruptly she stops, her eyes widening slightly in surprise. Her expression goes from shock to joy in no time at all as she grabs his hands gently and moves them back to her stomach, pressing down lightly. Alex feels a familiar, returning nudge, gentle and soft, but definitely there. He laughs giddily and locks eyes with Jo, pleased when she laughs in return. He moves around the bed, leaning over Jo so he could press a kiss to the spot he'd last felt the nudge. He keeps his cheek pressed against her soft skin for a moment, whispering a quiet ‘I love you.’ before looking back at Jo’s teary gaze.

"Robin, come here. Come feel your sister." He tells the toddler. Alex tugs him up into his lap and helps guide his hand to the spot he'd just kissed. He applies slight pressure and laughs at the joyous giggle Robin gives when he feels the baby move underneath his hand.

"That's your little sister."

Robin looked up at her father and smiled but the tiny movements didn’t keep his attention for long as he began to climb out of Alex’s grip, into Jo's welcoming arms.

“It’s gonna be okay Jo. We’re gonna be okay.”

Jo looks up at him. Tears still trailing down her face but the sparkle missing from her gaze earlier was slowly making its way back.

He smiles gently, reaching out to cup her face in his hands, rubbing his thumbs softly over the wet trails her tears left. "Everything’s gonna be okay.” He promised. "You'll see."

And she did. A little over two months later their baby girl made her entrance into the world, a little less dramatic than her brother as she’d been monitored so closely, that it was no surprise when she decided to join everyone. With her brown eyes sparkling with the same warmth as her mother’s and a full head of hair she was every little bit perfect as Alex had imagined. A little taste of heaven.

“Hey, baby…welcome home.” Alex grinned as he pulled open the door to the nursery, ushering in Robin who proudly displayed the teddy he’d chosen for his baby sister as Jo slowly made her way inside. She’d been too afraid to step inside since the incident, she claimed it would jinx it.

“Oh wow…” She hummed happily looking down at the bundle in her arms, who as predicted was still asleep and had no understanding of the magnitude of the moment happening around her. “Aren’t you a lucky girl P?”

“Mommy… I see…you sit.” Robin yelps, pulling Jo from the bottom of her cardigan towards the new rocking chair set up in the corner. Jo is all too happy to take a seat, allowing Robin to catch sight of his baby sister.

“It’s perfect Alex…Thank you.” Jo mumbles after a minute, catching Alex’s eye who had taken the moment to settle against the door frame and just watch his family.

He smiles softly, before pushing up off the frame heading towards the window. “You haven’t seen the best bit.” He pulls the blinds down slowly, letting darkness take over the room leaving only the glowing stars for light.

Robin gasped as he looked around in wonder but Jo's eyes remained trained on Alex. “I love you.” She whispers.

“I love you.” Alex grins, kneeling down beside the chair as he runs his hand across their daughter's head. “I love you all…now look up.”

Tilting her head, Jo looked up at the ceiling and gasped. The stars trailed up the wall and right above the crib, they clustered together, spelling out their dear daughter's name.

Peyton.

-

Yes. This is a day late. But it's also very on-brand for me so.

This one-shot is part of the What Could've Been universe so if you haven't read them I would thoroughly recommend reading them, you find them all under my master post on Tumblr.

Also, I made all the medical crap up, so don't come for me with corrections...I don't care.

[jademakean]

𝐒𝐰𝐢𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐲

Timothee Chalamet x Reader

1976

｡･:*:･ﾟ

You had been waiting for Timmy for a couple of minutes now;

Sitting on a fallen tree as the sun warmed you up through the tall trees, accomplishing to do so on some parts of your exposed skin.

The green leaf resting between your fingers was now the center of attention.

Your thoughts were interrupted by a hand brushing back your hair into a braid. "Timmy, I told you I don't like to swim with my hair tied." You smile softly knowing full well it was him.

"But I want to see your face and it's hard to do that when there's soaked hair all over it." he chuckles making you grin.

You cautiously stand up as he finishes the braid, running your hands through the flowy dress. "Why are you fixing your dress if you're about to take it off." He teases earning an roll eye-roll from you. He's right. "Are you done with the braid yet?"

"I don't know, see for yourself."

You feel for the end of the braid and smile "Thank you, Timmy." "You're welcome."

He tugs at your dress after he takes his shirt off "You're wearing too many layers" he grins cutely.

You do as he says and takes off your dress, leaving your body in plain white bikini.

Timothée grabs your hand and leads you to the private portion of the lake of the cottage he invited you to.

You have been here for 2 weeks and we're planning on staying most of the summer here, which you were so grateful for his parents to allow.

He lifts some of the sticks coming out of the tree trunks, as you finally reach your destination.

He immediately untangles your hands away from each other and jumps in the surprising deep blue water.

You couldn't help but laugh lightly at his eagerness to be engulfed by water.

You place the green leaf on the ground by the lake and let your body slowly disappear into the blue abyss.

The happily spirited boy emerges from the water looking around for his friend before spotting her.

He patiently waited for you to get used to the water temperature, due to your skin being warmed by the sun moments before.

Once Timothee noticed you were seconds before being fully in, he swam gracefully towards you.

You look up to see Timmy in front of you smiling happily. The boy gently grabs your hand pulling you through the lake.

"What are you so toothy about." You giggle.

He looks at you before responding "It's nice to just swim around freely, no worries to think about with my best friend." He beams

You felt yourself hesitate slightly in thought, he seemed to notice the sudden tension but before he could comment on it, your words interrupted.

"I've actually been slightly worried about something," you admit

A concerned expression washed through his features and you couldn't blame him. In his mind, everything has been blissful and effortless throughout these two weeks and you had acted on it. But with that sentence, he began searching for reasoning to what had made her uneasy, mostly because she had seemed happy until now. He couldn't help but feel as though he did something wrong. And that is exactly what he asked.

"What, no. I have been happy and you didn't do anything wrong, don't worry." she sighed "But my emotions have been troubling me, though at first, I thought it was just some confusion, I now know clearly how my feelings have changed."

He is now completely and utterly confused though he tries not to show it "And-- how have your feelings changed?"You took a deep inhale. Whatever happens, happens. You know that Timothée won't judge you for anything, that's why you appreciate being close to him that much more.

"I like you, and not in the friendly kind of way. I know you might not feel the same way towards me but I had to let it out, I hope this doesn't change our friendship."

Timothée's face contorts into one of surprise, not expecting those words to ever come out of your mouth.

"Well this is going to change our friendship."

You felt your heart almost skip a beat as he said.

"I like you too."

I had now been through an emotional rollercoaster but fortunately it had stopped on a relieving feeling. He looked at you with an expressionless face, the same as yours as you studied him properly this once.

Even if you had known him since seventh grade six and seen his face millions of times before; this one single time seemed different.

He looked ambrosial, his semi-wet hair was dripping droplets of water onto his eyebrows to his thick lashes, down the side of his nose, over the corner of his plump lips, disappearing into his mouth.

You looked back at his eyes, now noticing the cold middle finger grazing against your own lips before pressing down lightly.

Green focused the plumpness before connecting to your own eyes.

Though it seemed merely a dream reality came back to you as you felt his lips connect your soft ones.

Giving in almost immediately, you held onto his shoulders for balance as his hands held onto the sides of your neck for better control.

It was pure bliss.

Your heated breaths intertwining as you moved almost in sink. It was now known that you were both longing for this moment to take place.

You separated from your much-needed kiss and looked into each other's eyes. Within a few moments he spoke up "So this is how it feels to kiss a best friend."

Seconds passed and after your brain registered his words, you couldn't help but burst out laughing

"Is that really what you're going to say after we kissed?" you ask after calming down

He soon realized his mistake and felt his face heat up "I mean I'm a little flabbergasted. You know how I act when I don't know what to do." He tries to reason.

You did know, he would always start spewing out unnecessary comments or observations when he was nervous. It was a reflex that he didn't know how to control. You were aware that wasn't what was exactly what was on his mind. "sorry it came out wrong," he apologized giving you a goofy smile

"I know Timmy." I smile constantly before swimming back to shore

"what-- where are you going?"

You get out of the water taking your hair out of the braid it was kept in, ruffling it a bit so it was able to dry quickly. "I'm heading back."

He gives give you a weird facial expression "But we just got here a couple of minutes ago."

"I'm hungry." He laughs lightly before getting out of the water

"I got wet for no reason."

"Hey, we could bring food here instead, and spend the whole day swimming if you'd like." I offer, which he by his face expression approves.

I pick up the small leaf I held earlier and place it behind my ear.

"Sorry mention but aren't you usually supposed to put flowers behind your ear, not, ya know, leaves?" He asks amused.

I give him a slight glare "It's not supposed to be for show."

He nudges me lightly with a small smile on his lips "I'm saving it. As something to remember today, I'm going to tape it to my notebook." I state a little embarrassed.

He looks at me with a bright smile before embracing me into a big bear hug

After all, it is a nice memory to have.

[goth-albino-angel]

Yugiri's smile is everything. She has so many of them and they all mean different things. When she's relaxed, when she's excited, when she's confused, when she has no clue what's going on but everyone else is happy so she's happy, when she's relieved, when she's proud... She has so many different smiles and if Tumblr didn't have the 10 image rules, I would absolutely gush about every single one of them in detail. Unfortunately, if I do that, all of those posts will probably be eaten out of the tag, so instead, here are my top 10 favorite Yugiri smiles so far, images included. (Pre-Revenge episode 9)

10. Season One, Episode 2: The First Smile/ 9. Season One, Episode 10: The Sentimental Smile

Episode 2 is the first time we ever see Yugiri smile. Before this, she seemed relatively nonplussed or generally disinterested in pretty much everything going on. Even though she was in a different time period with complete strangers and a madman demanding her to be something she has no knowledge of, she was fairly calm. Then the first time we see her smile, it's when she sees something completely familiar. Her own face. Not only that, but she directs that smile toward the character that is going to become basically her little sister. The first one means so much and it's so important.

Within the same vein, her smile to Kotaro in episode 10 is one during an emotionally heavy moment. It's the first time he's hit an actual snag in his plans. Sakura's singular focus on the Arpino show rather than on the bigger picture of the group as a whole would have been a massive roadblock had she not realized her mistake.

Yugiri is the only one who properly realizes the reason they were sent into the mountains in the first place. Instead of simply sitting on the information, she's proactive about it and actually goes to discuss the problem with Kotaro. She wants to understand his reasoning so that she might be able to help him. And when she turns toward him, she also gives him the observations she's witnessed throughout her new life. This smile may be low on my list of favorites, but it's still unbelievably important.

...Also, when they released the preview image of this smile, my brain short-circuited for ten minutes, so it had to make it onto the list regardless.

8. Season Two, Episode One: The Professional Smile

This smile isn't much out of the ordinary for what we've come to expect of Yugiri, but it's on here because this was our first look at Yugiri after basically two years of very little. None of us knew how the group would come back, how the writing team had incorporated the unexpected pandemic, how things would play out, or what would be happening. The Promo showed Tae's hand flying off to knock off Sakura's head, but as 2018 displayed, the promos can't always be trusted. This showed that, even in this new world where she's only been awake for a year, she's putting her skills to use and working just as hard as the others. Thanks to the conversation from Episode 10 of the first season, we know she was trained as a geisha which would make service work much easier than it would be for the other girls.

I don't have too much to say on this one, to be honest. I do like that she's in softer lighting, as opposed to the others who were all surrounded by harsh lighting on their season two introductions. The softer lighting lends itself well to the lack of pigment and coloration in the girls' makeup, allowing Yugiri to look like she has some color, even if she still looks somewhat pale and tired. It doesn't give her quite the same sickly look the others have at their jobs. The red dress? 100/10. Perfect decision.

7. Season One, Episode Five: The Proud Smile

SHE. DOES. GYMNASTICS. She has every right to this smile! I did the math for this specific part of the episode and Yugiri got third place. The judges liked her rope aerobics so much, they shot her all the way to third place even though her distance was zero meters. It wouldn't have gotten her interviewed, but it would have at least put Franchouchou at the forefront. I still applaud Tae snagging first place, but Yugiri deserves some praise. She really did go face first into the mud on a bike and said, "Never again." She's so proud of herself. I'll be gushing about the actual gymnastics part in a different post a little later, too, but she definitely deserves to be proud of herself. I'm really gay...

6. Season One, Episode Four: The Cute Smile

Originally, this was just going to be me doing some keysmash version of a squeal or something, but there's something I'd like to draw attention to. I'm pretty sure that, by this point, Franchouchou only knows two songs. Yomigaere, which was supposed to be performed in episode 2, and Mezame Returner, which is what's being performed here. Of these two, Yugiri has more experience with this one, but from what the audience had been shown, it wasn't good experience.

Memorizing the lyrics would have been the easy part for her. It's that a good portion of the dance practice was also spent helping Lily get the steps down and potentially calming her frustrations. Then the performance itself would have been a complete disaster if Junko and Ai hadn't gotten over themselves at the last minute to finally help.

This is the first successful performance of Mezame Returner we're witnessing and it's clear the group's had more practice since then. You can see how excited and happy Yugiri is here because this one is actually going well. They had a bit more time to prepare, the two lead roles were actually involved this time, and the audience also was clearly enjoying the performance. She's so happy and it's just so heart-warming to see. Yes, even with the CGI. Don't @ me, she looks adorable.

5. Season One, Episode Seven: The Sassy Smile

This one also was just going to be a squealing keysmash thing, but again, I have something to point out. Look how much more confident she is now that Junko and Ai have, once again, gotten over themselves. Yugiri sees the effect that Junko stepping in had on the others and just like the rest of the group, her movements are more relaxed and free.

It's more obvious, actually, if you look at the way the other girls are moving directly after Junko helps Ai up in comparison to how Yugiri is moving. She did a spin while waiting for Sakura and Lily to finish their segment, and she could be cheeky during her own. She sensed that the tension had mostly dissolved and because of that, she allowed herself to relax and could properly throw herself into the performance. When she throws out this smile and wink, it's not actually directed at the audience. It's Yugiri telling the others that they've got this without breaking the performance.

4. Season Two, Episode Four: The Gentle Smiles

I put both of these here because Yugiri's just... so... caring? So much of what she does is passive that you don't realize just how much work she puts into relieving the stress from the other girls until long after the problem has been resolved.

In the first, she's speaking to Sakura. No doubt, Yugiri probably noticed how worried Sakura was about Junko. Even though Sakura was trying not to let the others catch on just how anxious she really was, Yugiri still knew that something was bothering Sakura as well as Junko. Yugiri knew that the key to easing Junko's mind lay in placating Sakura first. She's seen what happens to them all when they fall apart and she wants to avoid that at all costs. So, Yugiri lifts Sakura's spirits and gives her back the fire and determination to make a great performance.

In the second, Yugiri is watching Junko eat. Unlike the others, it's clear Yugiri knows that Junko is in much higher spirits than when last they saw her. Junko would likely have still been a stuttering, quivering mess otherwise, but she wasn't stuttering and her actions were purposeful and self-assured. Yugiri is very observant. She would have caught on that something had happened to make Junko feel better. What makes this smile even better is that she's not the least bit disappointed. The reason she made dinner was to help Junko, but she doesn't view the meal as a waste of time. She's so focused on other people, that she's happy Junko is feeling better at all and even offers her different platters to help keep her mood up.

These are high on the list for two reasons. One, they're a show of just how much Yugiri does for her girls. Two, YUGIRI COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS HEADCANON CONFIRMED BITCHEEEESSS!!! I GOT ONE RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!

3. Season Two, Episode Six: The Affectionate Smile

I will be completely honest, I have no idea why this one is as high as it is. I admit, I did spend three hours replaying this single thirty second scene because it's really sweet and Yugiri and Tae don't interact very often, so seeing Yugiri not only be worried for Tae, but also be immediately reassured that Tae would be fine was just something my heart didn't know it needed until it had it. The sheer level of affection Yugiri shows toward Tae is too adorable. Especially since Yugiri usually only has moments like those with Sakura and, to a lesser extent, Lily. This smile's really cute, it's in the middle of a wholesome scene, and it made me love both Yugiri and Tae that much more.

2. Season One, Episode Three: The Excited Smile

Once again, an entry that was going to be a simple squealing keysmash until I realized there was something to point out here as well. This is the first smile we ever see from Yugiri that's genuinely enthusiastic. She has plenty of them, especially during her performances, but this is our first time seeing her fully incorporate herself into the group as an actual member and actually look excited to do something with the others. This was an omen of adorable things to come and damn did it deliver.

Honorable Mentions.

I'm only going to touch on each of these briefly because to be honest, there are a LOT of smiles I could've picked.

The first one is from episode 6 when the group is talking about their very first meet-and-greet. Lily asks Yugiri if she's keeping up okay, and Yugiri remarks that she's taking things as they come. This was a small look into the kind of character she is. As I mentioned before, she's very passive in the way she operates, but that's to the benefit of those she cares for. This is her admitting that she doesn't want to be a problem and it's just sweet that even though Lily is worried about her, Yugiri's still highkey thinking about everyone else.

To the right is a shot of Yugiri during Electric Returner. This one is just the squealing keysmash because she looks so genuinely ecstatic, it's contagious. She's NO DAMN CLUE what happened or why they sound so different, but she is absolutely living her best second life.

The next shot comes from the beginning of Yomigaere and is somewhat of a repeat of the above. She's excited to perform for such a big crowd, she's glad Sakura finally agreed to actually participate, and she's living her best second life. Whoever animates Yugiri's CG model? I love you. I want to send you a gift basket. She's always so happy during performances.

Then comes her smile after the group finds out Sakura's memories are back. She's just glad Sakura, her Sakura, has come back to them, that she accepts her crap luck and is still willing to stay. For Yugiri, this goes under the list of Best Possible Outcomes. Her family is whole again and she's so relieved.

Last in the top row is the first full frontal shot we get of Yugiri in the Saga Jihen music video. She's so unbelievably adorable here. I wish I could've gotten her first expression, but the curtain was still rising and without photoshop, I'm not editing an image to the degree needed to get her whole face lightened. Point is, she's cute and everyone deserves to see her adorable face on the first song she got to be center for.

First on the bottom row is Yugiri looking apologetic from episode 8 of Revenge. She's so cute. It was an honest mistake and she had no way of knowing the paper belonged to Kiichi. No doubt, that was probably why she offered to help him rewrite them later.

Next is how cute she looks in big sister mode. She's wiping the mud from Kiichi's cheeks and is taking such care with him. Throughout the entire episode, she treats him like a little kid and it's likely because her role was big sister for so long that she doesn't know how not to treat him that way. It really does shed light on just how kind she is to everyone, though, that she doesn't even think about her dirty kimono and focuses on cleaning him up a little first.

Then we have her smiling at Kiichi as she remarks on how beautiful his dream of reviving Saga is. She even says she hopes it comes true. His dream means something to her. She can't even fully see it, he can't even fully see it, but they don't need to. What Itou didn't understand this whole time is something Yugiri understood immediately just from listening to Kiichi talk. They don't need to see it in their minds, all they need is to feel it in their hearts, and that's something Yugiri knows.

And lastly on the honorable mentions, because this post is already super long, Yugiri smiling while she's cooking for her guests. It was a tossup between this or the pinwheel because it's just really nice that Yugiri can simply enjoy mundane things. I chose this one because it's a direct contrast to how she was at the beginning. Before, she ate with a disinterested expression, but now, she's cooking for guests rather than just for herself. The lift in her mood is obvious, and it's something so small but so heartwarming, I couldn't resist.

I would've put the pinwheel moment anyway, but unfortunately, as a com major, formatting and design are everything and an extra picture on the top or bottom without a balancer would've thrown the whole thing off. Maybe next time.

NOW FOR NUMBER ONE

1. Season Two, Episode Eight: The Softest Smile

This should have been expected. There's something genuinely touching about the fact that Yugiri really does give her everything, even to complete strangers. These girls barely know her, everyone in town barely knows her, but because her dance students suggested Yugiri go out and actually experience, Yugiri gives it actual thought. She doesn't dismiss them, she doesn't deride them, she doesn't make them feel foolish or anything like that. She treats their suggestion the same way she would if it had come from a close friend. And she does actually take them up on it.

Later, we see her come into contact with Kiichi to demonstrate that even full-on strangers aren't exempt from her kind heart, but this means more. All we know is that these girls take Yugiri's dance class, and from the way they speak when we first meet them, it's clear Yugiri has a professional wall between herself and those she instructs. But she still treats them as she would the girls back in Shimabara. It's proof that, even in the past, Yugiri really was just as kind-hearted as in the present. It's a show don't tell kind of thing that just speaks so deeply to the writer in me. I love this smile. It's everything. Her smiles are everything. She's everything.

[wayward-riana]

Bun In The Oven | Jay Halstead

Summary : The reader passes out scaring Jay and the rest of the crew, only to find out that a bundle of joy is on it's way.

Requested by : @fofisstilinski

Warnings : None.

"All right, team. Good job. Now get the hell out of here and leave me in peace." Voight grumbles as he closes the door to his office.

Everyone arranges their desk and grabs their coat, ready to get the hell out and call it a night. Y/N sits down in her chair, rubbing her temples. Everything seemed blurry to her for a moment. She felt really dizzy. She told herself it was because of the very stressful case they worked on, earlier today.

"Hey, you okay?" Jay frowns as he sees the love of his life sitting helplessly in her chair.

"Yeah, don't worry. I'm all right," She offers him a tired smile. "Just tired, that's all."

Jay takes her hand in his and kisses her knuckles.

"Ayo, I'm going to Molly's. Who's with me?" Kevin announces.

"I'm in." Y/N forces herself out of her seat. Jay gives her a look but she gives his hand a reassuring squeeze.

Soon, the group of cops find themselves laughing over Adam's horrible jokes with drinks in their hand. Y/N doesn't take a single sip of the drink she's ordered as the nausea courses through her.

Jay rubs soothing circles on her back with his index finger, sensing her discomfort. He presses a soft kiss on her temple. He lets his lips linger on her skin for some time before pulling away.

"....And then he said 'You might never know what will hit you'." Adam almost snorts out the whiskey as he tells his lame story.

"And you might never know what will hit your head if you keep continuing." Y/N hisses.

"Thank you, Y/N." Kim says as she elbows Adam.

Y/N's blurry vision distracts her from her co-workers' antics. Soon, her vision turns completely black. Jay feels her pulling away from him. He does a double take when he sees her starting to fall from her seat. Right before she can hit the ground, he catches her.

"Y/N? Baby? Open your eyes!" Jay exclaims as he holds her close to his chest. "Come on, doll. Please, hold on."

Tears blur Jay's vision as he sees her lying helplessly in his arms. His heart starts racing, thinking his soul would leave his body any time.

The entire crew rushes in Chicago Med. Will walks out of the doctor's lounge, ready to go back home but stops in his tracks as he sees his brother run in the ED with Y/N in his arms.

"I need some help here!" Jay yells out.

Will drops his backpack and rushes forward.

________________________________________

Jay holds Y/N's hand to his cheek, leaning in her warmth. A few tears escape his eyes as he patiently waits for his best girl to wake up.

He stares at her face which was pale, so were her lips. He thinks about the first time he met her. She came in a couple of months before Erin left. From the moment she walked in the district, she blew everyone away with her wit, charisma and with how badass she was. She might not be physically strong, but she almost always takes out all the suspects that get into a fight with her. She doesn't use her strength, she uses her brain. She can outsmart anyone.

From the moment Jay saw her, he was in love with her. He did ask her out multiple times, but they always ended with them hanging out as friends. What he didn't know is that she was in love with him, as well.

Hank was actually the one who asked Jay to cut it out and tell Y/N about his feelings.

"Hey, Halstead. My office. Now." Hank called the detective to his office, one day. Jay wondered what he did wrong. He thought of every potential thing he did that would get him in trouble with Voight.

"Look if it's about the cake, then I'm sorry. I accidentally ate it. It was just sitting in the staff fridge. I had no ide -"

"Cake - what cake? Hold up, you ate my cake?" Hank put his hands on his hips and glowered down at Jay.

"So, this isn't about the cake." Jay chuckled, nervously. He mentally slapped himself for being such an idiot.

"You and Y/N get along?"

"Yeah."

"You friends?"

"Yes."

"Just friends?"

"All right, why are you pouring salt on my wounds?" Jay huffs.

"Look, kid. I see it in your eyes, you care about her. So, just tell her and make my job easier."

"How will that make your job easier?"

"I won't have to see you whine over the officers in the district hitting on her. You already annoy me enough. I don't need you whining on this duty. Got it? Good."

Jay almost smiles when he remembers those times. He snaps out of his trance when he sees Y/N opening her eyes.

"Hey, doll" He rushes closer to her. "You're awake."

"Hi, darling." Y/N croaks out and tries to sit up.

"Easy." Jay says as he helps her sit up. At that moment, Will walks in with a tablet in his hands.

"Hey, Y/N. I see you're awake. Your lab results came back," Will states.

"And?" Jay presses.

"And, I have some good news."

Will stares at the couple with the biggest grin on his face.

"I'm going to be an uncle!"

It takes a second or two for Y/N and Jay to process what Will said.

"O-Oh my God," Y/N gasps. "I'm pregnant."

Will nods, grinning.

Jay jumps out from his seat with a blank look on his face scaring both Y/N and Will.

"I'm gonna be a dad?" He breathes out. "I'm gonna be a dad! BRO, I'M GONNA BE A DAD"

He yells at the top his lungs in pure ecstasy. Y/N covers her mouth with her hands, laughing hard at her boyfriend's state.

After Will discharges Y/N, Jay's dramatic ass pulls an Oscar worthy performance in front of the crew who were impatiently waiting in the waiting room.

He walks out without Y/N. He musters up a devastated look as he walks into the waiting room. His expression startles the others.

"Dude, what's wrong?" Kevin questions.

"Is Y/N okay?" Kim asks.

"What did the doctor say?" Adam asks while rubbing Jay's back, in a comforting manner.

"The doctor said that -" Jay's voice breaks. The others furrow their eyebrows as they wait for him to deliver the worst news. "-I'm gonna be a dad!"

The rest of the team was way too happy to kill Jay. So, instead they celebrated as Y/N came out in the waiting room laughing at Jay's shenanigans.

Later, Jay and Y/N drive home.

"I'm sort of glad that I passed out." Y/N speaks. Jay gives her a questioning look.

"You want to explain that?" He raises his eyebrow.

"Well, if I hadn't passed out I probably would've ended up having that drink. I can't have alcohol, I'm pregnant."

"Doll, you don't have to worry about that anymore cause now you'll be eating for two and I'll be drinking for two." He winks at her right before receiving a smack in the arm.

[god-save-the-keen]

Are you jealous?

Book: Bloodbound

Pairing: Adrian Raines x MC (Amy)

Warning: None

Words: 1.289

*Inspired in 'Lucifer': S5, E6*

Note: I don't know if it's my PC or just Tumblr but I can't cut the text! Sorry about that 😕

Permanent tagg list: @eileendannie @desireepow-1986 @dawn-1994 @darley1101 @blackcatkita @flyawayboo @drakewalker04 @choicesficwriterscreations

Adrian Raines x MC tagg list: @senator-adrian-raines-wifey @alesana45 @choicesfannatalie @mattrodriguezmylife @perriewinklenerdie @x-kyne-x @livingpurpose @adriansbiss @badgoodfishes @amyraineshessa @bloodboundismylife @bloodboundhoe @choices-addict-25 @lexilooloolovessenatorraines @bloodboundstuff @a-raines  

When Adrian walked through the crystal doors of Raines Corp that morning the first thing he noticed was Amy waiting for the private elevator, which he had given her the key to a while ago, checking her phone. The night before flashed through his mind as he went towards her, trying to avoid a too obvious grin at the mere sight of her, remembering her sweet lips on his, the soft and at the same time intoxicating touch of her delicate hand on his body and how incredibly perfect their bodies fit together. He knew they shouldn't go that far, having this kind of personal relationship but there was something in her that drew him to her, like a magnet wanting, no needing, more. So much more. But when she mentioned that they should keep it between them because she didn't want to be "the office 'easy girl' who is fucking the boss", a phrase that Adrian tried vehemently to denied, he agreed, unsure of her feelings about their relationship.

"Good morning, Amy." He stood beside her, shoulder to shoulder, his free hand brushing hers.

"Good morning, Adrian." She smiled and he couldn't avoid thinking how different his name sounded the night before in her moans and how desperate he was to hear it again.

"You had a restful night, I hope?"

"For sure! I did a few hours of… Work out before bed." Her face didn't show any mischievous glint, smiling like everyday, as the elevator 'dinged' and they headed inside. When the door closed behind them, Adrian took a step closer to her. If she wanted to keep their distance at a maximum in the office, she just needed to take a step back and he would give her her space. To his pleasure, she took a step forward. She stood on her tiptoes and, taking her lead, he held her waist and lowered his mouth, finding hers halfway as a warm feeling, that after so many years he thought he would never feel again, stormed inside him in the most wonderful way. "Now, that is the perfect way to say good morning." Adrian chuckled before his mouth covered hers once more.

"You look beautiful today."

"Thank you, boss." She retorted with a playful hint of a sexy smile.

"I missed you this morning." His hold on her waist tightened a little.

"I missed you too but I needed to change my outfit." Before Adrian could answer, the elevator arrived on their floor and she took two big steps to the side as the doors opened.

"What is on today's agenda?" He asked as they walked out.

"In an hour, you have a meeting with the heads of sectors, after lunch the three candidates for the research team are coming for their final interview with you, at 5 o'clock Senator Vega will be waiting for us at his place and 6:40 with Priya in her mansion to talk about… you know."

"It's going to be fine." His hand found hers and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"After what you told me, how can you be sure?" There was an uncertain tone in her voice as her brows knitted together, worried.

"Because I'm going to do everything in my power to make it fine." His thumb unconsciously caressing her knuckles as a soft smile creeped on her face.

Before he knew, the morning had transformed into the afternoon and the interviews had started. The first candidate was a middle-aged man, with a remarkable resume but with some weak answers towards his questions, when the man left from the office, Amy handed him the file of the second candidate and he called Josie Adams inside as the elevator doors opened and a young man, that he supposed was the last candidate, came out, flashing a smile at Amy.

As he led the interview with ease with Adams, he caught a glimpse of Amy's conversation outside.

"Wow, Ames, you look really great!" The voice of who he presumed was the young man echoed in his brain. So this man already knew Amy. "Beautiful." Adrian felt a bubbling sensation inside him, a mix of anger and something new… something he didn't like.

"Thanks, Matt! It's so good to see you! You look great too! I didn't know you had applied for this job!"

"I didn't know you work here either!" He replied and they both chuckled as Josie kept talking about her experience. Adrian tried to concentrate until his own name pecked his attention again.

"...Adrian? He's honestly the best." A fond tone in her voice, he could almost see the smile on her face. "He's smart and respectful, I don't know anyone in the office that doesn't respect him."

"Any tips?"

"Just be authentic, he'll appreciate that." A tiny grin lifted Adrian's lip at Amy's words. Of course she would know the perfect way to approach him by now. Adams continued talking with confidence at his gesture, unaware the real reason for it.

"So, how have you been? Are you seeing someone?" Adrian blocked out the woman's voice, concentrating his hearing sense on the outside, curious about her response.

"I…" She hesitated. "No, I'm not." Well, that definitely wasn't what he was expecting to hear. They had agreed to keep it a secret but completely denying the relationship was further than what Adrian thought.

"Glad to hear."

"That is all I need, Ms. Adams." He suddenly cut the interview, standing up. "We will contact you soon." He shook the woman's hand.

"Thank you for your time, Mr. Raines." Amy led her to the elevator, took the file from her desk and entered Adrian's office, closing the door and handing it to him.

"You’re acquainted with the next candidate." It wasn't a question, and even though he was using the most professional tone possible, something else leaked out, making Amy smile.

"Yes, I do." She observed him with an almost satisfied grin without saying anything else.

"I see." He took Matt's resume and started to read it, being completely honest, some of his accomplishments were truly remarkable. "An old friend?"

"Not exactly." He lifted his gaze towards her, his right eyebrow rising up. "He's my ex-boyfriend. We broke up when I moved here, I didn't even know he had come too."

"Perhaps he's trying to get back with you. Especially if he thinks you are single." Amy giggled walking around his desk and sitting on the edge as her hand lowered the file that he was 'reading' and their eyes connected, deeply and intensely.

"Adrian, are you jealous?" His jaw clenched as she kept smirking. "Oh my god, you really are!"

"I do not get jealous."

"Then why do you care what he thinks?" Her feet barely touched his leg as they kept staring into each other's eyes.

"I don't."

"Mhm, sure you don't." She lowered from the desk and leaned closer to him, softly lifting his head cupping his right cheek, until her lips quickly but sweetly pecked his. "You are the only one I want to be with, that's why it is so important to do things right, even if it's hard to keep this as a secret for a while." She headed to the door as her hips swayed from side to side, clearly enjoying the power she had over him. "And by the way, I told him I'm single because he's the nosiest person I know. If I tell him or if you hire him, he would drive me nuts until I tell him who I'm dating." And just like that, she went back to her desk, closing the door as Adrian smiled, thinking he would do anything for this woman, even get jealous now and then.

❣️

[imaginejamesandsirius]

Can you please do a fic where sirius is Harry's bio dad but the wizarding world doesn't know and one day harry gets hurt and sirius goes into protective mom mode tm (and lets be real harry would call sirius momma) and the world finds out and is like wot ○-○

((A/N: Sirius is genderfluid in this and switches between she/he pronouns))

Harry had been told a couple dozen times that he looked just like his father. He wanted to mention that he looked like his other parent too, but since he had glasses and the same hair as James, it's all anyone saw. It would be nice if just once someone said he looked like Sirius. But it wasn't exactly common knowledge that Sirius was the one that had given birth to him, so he kept his mouth shut about it. 

He'd thought that his first year of Hogwarts would be fun and exciting, but like, in a boring way. Fun because him and his mates would be able to spend the whole year together and they would only have to dodge the professors if they wanted to break a rule instead of every single parents of theirs. 

He wasn't expecting for it to be exciting because some Dark Lord had come back and tried to kill him. Or maybe it was just that Harry had gotten in the way of his plan and become a side casualty. Either way, someone that was sort of dead nearly caused his own death, and that was a bit more than he had bargained for when he saw the castle for the first time. He'd heard his parents' stories from their own days, and he'd imagined something similar for himself. Getting attacked wasn't something he'd considered, but here he was, in the Hospital Wing and feeling a little like he'd fallen off his broom from several meters up without a cushioning charm. 

"Merlin, Haz, are you alright?" 

It took Harry a moment to place the voice because his brain was foggy with potions. Sirius. He reached for his glasses, but they were pushed on his face a few seconds later. "Hey Mum," he muttered. Her hair was up, which was his best indicator for whether he should use 'Mum' or 'Pop'. "Where's Dad?" 

"Talking to Dumbledore. And then we're switching places so I can yell at him a bit." 

"'m fine." 

"Yeah, you look fine, sprog," she said flatly. "The bandage on your wrist was a dead giveaway. At least you didn't go in there alone, but you shouldn't have gone in at all." 

"There wasn't time. Professor Dumbledore was gone." 

"Then you should've talked to Professor McGonagall or called us." 

"With what floo?" 

Sirius narrowed her eyes at him. "You didn't even think about it, don't pretend otherwise." Worriedly, she smoothed back his hair from his face. "I'm just glad you're alright." 

Harry almost didn't say anything, but, "You're taking this pretty well. When I broke my leg, you wouldn't stop pacing, and you kept going on about everything that could go wrong when they tried to heal it." And it had ended up being fine, but Sirius had worried something fierce over it. 

"I needed to make sure you were alright," she said gently. She pressed a kiss to his forehead, and Harry figured he had a free pass to lean into it, what with the near-death experience and all. The door to the Hospital Wing opened, and they both looked over. It was James, but Mum didn't move until he was at the bed. She gave Harry's head another kiss, then got to her feet. Sirius pat Dad on the shoulder as she passed, then stalked to the door where Professor Dumbledore was still standing, waiting for her. 

Dad took the vacated spot at Harry's bedside. "How you feeling, sprog?"  

"I'm alright. Do you think-" 

Mum didn't wait for the door to shut before she started in on Professor Dumbledore. "The next time you let my son get that injured under your supervision, it will be the last time you do anything! Where the sodding hell were you-" The door finished closing, and the normal silencing spells kicked in. 

Harry had been about to ask 'do you think Mum is feeling alright because she's sort of acting strangely calm', but that answered that question. 

"Sirius was thinking that keeping it a secret didn't make sense if you were going to get hurt anyways," James said to fill the silence they suddenly found themselves in. 

"Is that why we don't tell people?" 

"Yeah, kiddo. Sirius's family wasn't... the most accepting sort." 

Harry was old enough to recognise when Dad was cushioning things for him, but he wasn't sure he was old enough to get the full truth from him. 

"They- er had a lot of enemies. Sirius left them ages ago, but some people think that since she was born in the family, she still counts. We didn't want it to transfer to you, but it looks like you're facing some problems bigger than old grudges for an Ancient House." 

"Aren't you from an Ancient House?" Harry asked. He hadn't grown up with that sort of culture since both his parents thought it was a load of tripe. 

"Nah, the Potters are a bit newer than that," was all he said about the topic. Harry was curious, but he didn't push for more answers. Even though he'd barely woken up, he felt tired enough to go back to sleep. "Don't worry about it, Harry, you'll be fine." Carefully, Dad put an arm around his shoulders. "You want to tell me what happened?" 

"Professor Dumbledore didn't tell you?" 

"He gave a summary," James said delicately. Before Hogwarts, Harry only heard that tone when Dad was trying to trick him into admitting his wrong-doing because he'd know part of it, and Harry would spill the rest because he thought he knew all of it. "He wasn't with you for all of it, though. Parts of it were conjecture. I'd prefer to hear it from you." 

"I didn't do anything wrong," Harry said, a touch defensively. 

"I know sprog, but this is... it's big. Trauma is- er, complicated. I want you to be okay, and I don't think we can keep you okay if we don't know what happened." 

"Can we talk about it tomorrow?" Harry mumbled. He was having trouble keeping his eyes open, and he felt like if he tried to talk, he'd end up a spluttering mess. 

"Of course." Harry felt the arm around him tighten for a moment then let go and slide away. "Get some rest." 

*

"Er, Pop?" 

"Yes?" Sirius asked, as if he hadn't wrapped his arms around Harry the moment he saw him and still hadn't let go even though it had been two minutes. 

"Are you gonna let me go?" 

"Nope." 

"Er- please?" 

"I'll let you go when I feel satisfied that you are safe." 

"Si, c'mon, let the poor kid go," James said, chuckling. 

Pop didn't exactly hurry to listen to him, so Dad curled his fingers into his arm and started to pull him away, one point of contact at a time. Sirius looked over at Dad with a distinct pout on his face. "I don't see how you're not worried, too." 

"'Course I'm worried," Dad agreed easily. "But he's home right now, and suffocating him isn't going to help. That being said, Haz, we're going to be a bit stricter this summer. No wandering off with your friends to walk to the park, and no unsupervised sleepovers." 

"Dad," Harry whined. "It was one thing at the end of term, it's not gonna happen again." 

"I know it sucks, but it's going to happen, okay? You're not getting grounded, we're just keeping an eye on you until we feel you're safe." 

"Fine," Harry muttered before sulking off to his room. 

James and Sirius both watched as he closed his door, probably to write Ron a letter about how unfair he thought all of this was. "Well we're doing great at this parenting thing," Sirius said wryly. 

James snorted. "C'mon love, you remember what it's like to be eleven." 

"Yeah, it was total shite because I hated my parents." 

"Harry doesn't hate us." 

"Not yet," he muttered. He tried to walk away, but James wrapped an arm around his shoulders and kept him firmly at his side. "D'you need something, James?" 

"Some cuddles wouldn't go amiss," James said loftily. 

Sirius chuckled and turned to hug him. "I'm so bloody worried about him." 

"Me too, but he'll be fine. We'll keep an eye on him, and he may not like it, but he'll survive the rest of Hogwarts." 

"Yeah, I guess." 

James pressed a kiss to his cheek, then leaned back. "You going to be alright?" 

"Yeah? I mean, he's the one that got hurt. If anyone in this family has the right to not be alright, it would be Harry." 

"I meant with everyone finding out you're the one who carried him to term." 

"Oh, that." Sirius shrugged, tousling his hair. "I mean, it's... different. Not really used to people seeing him and knowing that they can talk to me about him. And I'm not going to miss people hassling Lily about returning home." 

James nodded. "She's having a pretty good time. Where is she now, anyways? Brazil, somewhere right?" 

"Rio, last I heard. I sent her a letter to let her know that we... told everyone. Came out, as it were. Did you know that people didn't know we were together?" 

"What?" 

"Right?" Sirius said, laughing. "Apparently they thought we were just really good mates." 

"We're really good mates with Peter and Remus; I don't go around shagging them." 

"I'd hope not." 

[muffindaddystyles]

(CLANDESTINE CHAPTER TWO)

ᗩᑭᑭOIᑎTᗰᗴᑎT, ᖇᗴᗪ ᐯᗴᒪᐯᗴT ᗩᑎᗪ ᗰᑌᖴᖴIᑎՏ

𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒚

Rhythmically mellifluous waves of notes echoes after bouncing back from anile theatre's walls, the trill getting softer the more I firmly place my chin over the tail piece.

Eye lids slip shutting at the flurries of heart chasing the last cadences, pinky shivering as the middle and ring finger pushes the string down while the bow touches through the strings simultaneously producing the last chords.

Feels like a voyage over a baby leaf that's leading me through a pallid wind.

My chest heaving vigorously and lifting my jaw from the violin my head snapped in the direction of loud claps flowing. After a hectic performance the seats went empty and instead of going backstage I tried to play a melody for myself.

I was so lost finding my way through strings that didn't even noticed when Azi came. He's the owner of this old hideously beautiful theatre, his love for arts has this place still running without compliance knowing else it would have left baren just like the other popular theatres they shut years ago.

"Well done Harry, people seemed to love your performance last night and today." A smile quenching from my inners causing the bottom lip to tuck in between my teeth.

A feeling like no other spiralling around my ribcages, this's all I ever wanted.

"They were properly soused into your magic and we know what that means, shit loads of money." I remained quite putting my violin and bow aside while he spoke with a tobacco cigar rolled in between his lips.

I never wanted to play for money but nor do I've problem if we're getting it because half of the people in theater needs it. They deserve it.

It's not their fault they've to die in return of loving the devotedness that's gifted naturally.

Their talent and adroitness is the only thing keeping them in this world even though they've to remain veiled from the ordinary people.

Azi drags the stash of money on the table in my direction causing me to shake my head in refusal, "you know that I don't need this money. Save it for the renovation of theatre before we all get buried deep under it." He laughs lungs rumbling from his old age.

For God's sake the ceilings are about to cripple and chandelier might bonk my head one day.

"Or' maybe double pay our ballerina she was prepossesing last night." The twitch of his wrinkles at the corners of eyes smoothed down sadly and he sighed loudly piercing a hole in my stomach.

Anticipation wrapped around my head shoving me into the sea of worry where I'm finding it difficult to process, "what happened-" my words choking in my windpipes when he cuts me off revealing the horror information.

"She was abducted last night, her body was found shot near the suburb of where she lives." Everything's feeling claustrophobic around me and I keep on gawking him in astonished dread.

She was one hell of the great dancers, the only ballerina of our theatre. She didn't not deserved this; fuck it nobody does. I refuse to believe.

Fuck this government. Fuck this stupid world.

Gripping my hair from roots I looked him straight in the eyes, "Tell me if her family needs any help." Then the realization dawned upon me like a heavy dust she never had a family. This theatre, her skills were her only family.

"Harry my boy listen I know you'll take it as a hard toll but believe me we can't do anything for what has happened, go home have a rest you've a performance in the coming month." I was taken aback when he hugged me assuring me like a father would do, not utterly sure how to respond to interactions like these I raised my hands several times only to let them fall back.

Memories of her on tips dancing beautifully on the stage displaying infront of me as I stored my violin into case putting it aside.

We weren't close. But the few times we had exchange of words in the middle of lunch breaks and her full concentration on my foolish jokes was worth than any friendships I ever had; which I unfortunately never had.

Without even noticing the whispers let out of my chest, "I'll miss ya." Never thought you could yearn to have a single glimpse of people last time even though they were barely in your life.

I didn't changed into comfortable clothes letting the flashy suit stick to my skin, so the weigh of it will keep on making me realize that the world has no place for us.

A sacrifice for living praise.

The alley outside's pitch dark with the sun roguishly trying to dawn from the horizon.

Azi Theatre's situated at the most lifeless spot in the city possible, you've to walk through several hidden allies to reach there.

While, walking past the streets and avoiding to ruin my trousers by splashing my boots into puddle my brain havoced with unnecessary thoughts.

Thousand of faces with erastz beauty passing in mili seconds on these vast fulgurant billboards their mocks appearing like arrows to my already wounded guts; though it's all in my head it's still crawling under my skin.

A peek of cognisance from the day she made me ate her red velvet muffins dizzied around in my mind painting sorrow over me.

Even though I protested with my nonsical excuses she won ending up handing me one of her perfectly shaped muffin on my palm with a huge grin.

Just like that alot of people's smiles in my life petered out in the lost pocket of my mind.

In the littlest remembrance of her I made route to the small bakery situated two blocks away from the building I live in. The city's sleeping the only thing's shop's boards blinking and hazy bakeries showing through the thick fog.

It's open twenty four hours seven. The sky tweeked with ribbons of brume and the digital clock showed 5:00 sharp in the early dawn the large glass windows fogy from weather. The counter lady's wrapped into a comfy blanket trying not to fall asleep.

The bell chimed startling the cute old lady when I stepped inside passing by the wooden counter, "uhh..hi sorry to disturb. I'll look in myself." She nodded slumping back into her seat soon about to knock off.

Strolling in between the squeezy aisles my eyes roamed over empty refrigerators ceasing to the one at the far corner.

There in the transparent domed box are four cherry-red muffins attracting every dull view of bakery towards themselves. They're perfectly shaped and snow-flaked into red coconut shudders but failed to water my mouth.

I've no appetite to eat them. Her's used to be baked into undescribeable funny shapes but atleast I had a company while chomping them in one bite.

A reel of same memory binging and before it could permanently imprint in my brain I cleared my throat raising my pointy finger as a habit, "I'll have these!"

We said in a unison. Hold on. We? Am I that exhausted that I've started to hallucinate.

My head snapshoting towards the person from whom the feminine voice billowed in the dense warm air.

Resplendent. Florid and kaleidoscopic were the first words that striked my confused mind when my vision raked from the faux suede ankle boots richer in pigment than the red velvet muffins resting inside the refrigerator; then straight towards to meet their eyes.

Her gaze projecting warmth in this wimtertide and out of curiosity I met her eyes to recognize their colour.

Golden syrup. They're like the glassed honey pool that has squeezed the bee in the syrup lake as if it's greed for honey became it's trap, hazel speckles caged inside the rim of irises flickering with her slightest of eye movement.

We both keeps on looking at eachother the morning peace surrounding us too unsure how to break the spell.

She's wearing a cerise peach long trench wool coat a sweet rose enamel pin attached to where her heart is. Her nose and ears pink from the cold outside, but her lips plump from under the translucent violaceous bubble gum coloured gloss.

Burnette tresses of hair loose till her covered shoulders, the peach tealed beanie intact on her head.

The women standing infront of me is in abstract contrast to the pastels of the bakery and the luster of gray buildings out of these bakery walls.

The pastelish hues still prominent in her and crimson peaked up my neck at the fact that she caught me intriguing her by my peer.

Boldly her eyes remained fixated at my suit that's very exotic for strolling into a bakery. She might think so I'm a bellend idiot.

The cashier lady came to us yawning placing her hands on her hips done with two strangers just looking at eachother but she doesn't know that both of them are inquisitive of what the other is wearing this early where anybody's barely awake.

"We've the only box, decide it quick kiddos that who'll get it." The lady yawned for fiftieth time taking the box of muffins out of refrigerator.

"I came here first and I was the first one to ask." I frowned for an obvious reason and the lady was about to give me the box when a honeyed voice again melted in my ears.

Now I really wanna hear her talk for a long time, "but I pointed at it first!" She whines softly jutting her lower lip.

"But vocalisation matters the most." I quipped arching my brow at her and she glared me but her beatific personality radiating naturally from her is breaking the bitter demeanour she's trying to pull towards me.

"Kay. We can leave it upto the rock, paper and siscorss." She smirks mishveously raising her brows several times in a challenge.

Her tongue poking out from her glossy lips with her one leg straight and other bended perpendicular she placed her on foot over another balancing with only one leg like a flamingo.

The cute small lady groaned, "are you really gonna do this?" Our eyes widening and chuckles spiraling when we once again we said 'yep.' In unison.

She was ready to launch her hand in a paper and mine was stone so I quickly interrupted looking down at her legs, "why are you standin' like a swan?" Her eyes slitting into a squint and lips shrinking into a pout.

Tilting her chin towards me and standing in the same position as before just the difference now's that her hands are on her hips to convey the offend.

She ruched her lower lip inside her mouth to stop from giving a smile, so she's a buoyant person...

"Because maybe I am?" And she doesn't have simple answers to straight questions. Our fists still raised into air and the cashier lady hissed this time ready to throw hands.

"You kids are worse than my grandchildren!" She gasped comically at the words of short lady.

"That's very mean of you..." I'm clearly surprised that she isn't one bit influenced by lady's sharpness instead she's further engaging in a conversation that will result in the loss of time for all of us. "...and your daughter wouldn't be very happy to know."

"Kay. Back to where we left." She quickly turned her head towards me her complete concentration struck over me making my stomach go fluttery and funny.

"Uhm..yes- rock, paper, siscorss!" I never thought I'd play a game with some stranger who's looking so cozy and comfy in the early dew, for some muffins in the middle of empty bakery when I scarcely interact with people.

"Yes! I won." I punched the air when my siscorss cut her paper and her jaw went slack for a moment.

What the fuck you're doing Styles!?

Out of shyness and awkwardness I abruptly combed back my curls rubbing my hand down the nape of my neck not meeting her eyes.

The lady handed me the box with a boring expression while Hers stayed ticked to it, "anyway I don't even like red-velvet muffins." Yeah. Grapes are sour when fox can't get it.

She was about to walk away near to step out of shop. I want to call her but don't know her name; so out of sheer rampage I blurted out the only word that the department of my brain could manage at the time.

"Swan!" She halted in her tracks torso turning and with her chin atop of her shoulder she looked back at me smiling coyly.

"Yes. Sparkly?" She's probably calling me that because of my glittery black suit and I'm sure my ribcages did something at the name. Getting made fun of doesn't sound very good; but it is at the time.

Today's an odd day.

"Um..we can share if you want to?" Her grin etching to the corner of her lips and she jumped excitedly clasping her hands together,"Really!?"

A timid smile crawling over my features watching her get delighted at the littlest of fact. "Yes. There are two pair of muffins we both can have one pair if you like to?" I told her and she bobs her head while going towards the cash counter, patting the counter with a huge grin indicating me to put the box down.

"Your total's $8.25." We both payed half of the total price and I shoved my hands into my trouser's pockets scrutinizing my surrounding while the annoyed cashier lady packed two muffins separately for one of us.

And she rummaged through her wallet which has alot of ebullient key-chains hanging from it, who's this girl?

Why I've never seen her here before? and I've never seen a person this cheerful in the crowd of prosaic people of city.

The lady handed us our respective delights with a roll of eyes and I was the first one to take mine and quickly sprinted out of there, because I didn't know what else to do.

A whiff of pungent vanilla, mulberry pomegranate sprouting with cocoa made it's way in my nostrils when I passed beside her. Her fragrance's divergent.

You know a scent that addictively clouds your senses but it's so rare you never get to smell it again; but if out of nowhere you get to it brings back nostalgia for no reason, she smelled like that.

When I glanced back the two women were still watching my weirdness in amusement through the glass windows of bakery.

It appeared like her rose enamel pin winked at me from far.

Mick was tangled up into cassette tapes when I stepped inside my flat, the tiny bugger he is jumped atop me straddling me to the floor.

"You're lookin' like a disco ball. No need to be so proud." Instead he gave a long slicky lick to my cheek woofing at me.

He's being too cheeky but it wouldn't last long when I'll take him for a checkup. He fucking envy his doc. I'm already sensing sympathy seeking whining from him, happens every year.

Shaking my head I grunted skiding from underneath him but he's fast and climbed up in my lap while I struggled to open the box.

The minute red hilly muffins were infront of me it reminded me of honey the ooze of golden, treacle eyes. Her eyes.

Shit. It's getting hard to get rid of her delicate image that's playing like an aesthetic reel in the back of my mind.

I was jerked into reality when Mick lurched greedily eating the delcious muffin from my hand in one bite, leaving his slickness at the tip of my fingers. Before he could attack my muffin too I quickly grabbed it.

"Mick you wouldn't believe what happened today!?" I spoke in an animated voice scratching his sweet spot under his ear my mouth full of red coconut and he looked up at me with his sick puppy eyes.

"We wouldn't have been able to eat these if I wouldn't have won from...." I stuttered pondering over the fact that the nameless peachy coat girl's too stubborn and wouldn't leave my fuzzy thoughts alone, "...from swan."

Mick just barked at me going to his sleeping pillow and I practically rubbed my eyes with the heels of my palms to bring myself to some consciousness from that bloody bakery fantasy.

_

When the proper morning hit I made myself breakfast and the longer I stared it the more it impeded my appetite.

With one hand offering Mick treats to deceive him into the idea that I'll take him to the park for a walk which instead will end up in a clinic's room and other hand diligent in searching word puzzles over the newspaper my jaw worked to chew the sandwich.

Throwing a sweater over my head and slipping into white washed jeans quickly I got ready to take Mick with me.

I had to scoop Mick up in my arms when he sprawled onto footpath of veterinary clinic the second he realized what was about to happen.

The kid leaning against the wall giggled loudly watching me practically drag my dog across the floor because he's too socially akward, fucking wow.

The waiting area's already full of pupils alongside their pets, someone stood up from the last bench and taking the advantage of opportunity I strided towards it sitting at it's edge.

Fifteen minutes passed since I've been caressing and comforting my scared bud, tucking his crown under my chin to make him at rest.

There's loud raucous noise when the elevator doors to the floor we're at opened wide gaining everyone's attention and when the person in tizzy strided inside the corridor I had to look at her twice.

What the fuck she's doing here? She never owned a pet and the one for whom she'll get this worried about.

Lyida's exactly same, her eyes bright as always and she has become more striking from when she was with me.

But she's not mine now, she never was.

She lurched over the receptionist with the box in her hand and distress of having to meet her eyes creeped inside me. The girl beside me threw daggers at me when I stood up hastily causing the whole bench to shake. I apologised for the disturbance.

My hands fumbled with the knob of nearest door right beside me and I had to shush Mick sternly when he kept on whining.

Heavy puff of breaths escaping my lungs when I stumbled inside some empty doctor's room shutting the door behind me, back meeting against the wooden plank of door, cold sweat breaking under the nape of my neck and I blinked several times taking in my surrounding.

I'm a weak son of a bitch.

It's fuckin' gruelling to be in her presence. It's hellish to meet her sympathetic gaze for me and I'm a bastard who's pathetic as hell.

I have to be away, I've to go right now. Trotting towards the large window panes I uncliped them stepping outside the shared balcony of room.

There's a drain pipe so I can climb it down to the ground and get the hell away from here.

Maybe, Mick was right it was a bad day and idea to come here.

Adjusting Mick inside my armpit I threw my one leg over the rail and then the second, my breath wavering as I gripped the rail tighter taking baby steps towards the plastic pipe.

The smack of air stinging my eyes while the cars are being parked infront of me at the parking lot.

A delucet voice clamoured from inside startling me to death and Mick barked lowly in reaction, "Whoops! Sorry to interrupt your suicidal mission." I turned my head steadily to see who's it even though I can comprehend the sherbet similarity.

Her voice has melted like a hot maroon stamp into my ears since the dawn hour and with the corner of my eyes I watched her leaning against the stretcher.

"But let me tell you Sparkly this height would cause you nothing but two broken ribs, one fractured thigh and you might loose your brain memory. No more than that." I gawked her appalled while she remained peacific arms folded infront of her chest, into different cardinal clothes now.

Again a replete splitness to what every other person's wearing outside.

Even though my intentions are nothing like that but saying this to someone who's about to take their life doesn't seem very pleasing.

I was about to speak something into my defence that she misinterpreted things but she cut me off popping her chewing gum and capturing the ropes of sticked bubble around her lips with her teeth.

Fuck.

.

A/n; Please lovies. Reblog it and gimme feedback alot of kisses!

[starrysebastians]

Of blood, sweat and mishaps

Summary : you’ve had a long journey in order to fight your way back home, and home sometimes holds surprises. Destroyer!Chris x reader, description of violence and sex. (i’ve never written smut before i have literally no idea what i’m doing don’t mind me) 

This was written for @baezen​’s the other guys writing challenge, with the prompt : i really wish you told me your mother was in town ; thank you for giving love to these other guys, I hope this will do!! 

It’s already dark outside when you leave the building, duffel bag hastily swung over your shoulders without you even registering its weight on your bruised body — you’ve been carrying this thing for over a month and you’ve become immune to it. Rather, your shoulders already constantly hurt and it doesn’t matter anymore because you just want to go home and spend an entire hour in a hot bath to wash away all the sweat and blood and dirt of the last few weeks.

"Hey!" You stop in your tracks, a tilt of your head being the only sign that you have actually heard and acknowledged the voice of your colleague rushing behind you, the precinct doors slamming behind the both of you. "Are you sure you don’t need a lift?"  

Sam catches up with you, a little out of breath, probably because he took the stairs and tried to beat you to the door. You smile, shaking your head. He’s looking you up and down and you know he wants to say you clearly are in no state to drive, or even to be standing upright. And driving you to your appartement isn’t a problem because it’s on his way to his own.

"It’s okay. I think I’m gonna crash at Chris’, it’s closer anyway." You shift from one foot to another, transferring the weight of your body and your weapons on the leg that hurts the least. Sam’s face morphs into understanding, a knowing smile stretching on his lips. You want to roll your eyes, but you can’t help but chuckle.

"Right." He nods, taking a step back, then lifts up his chin. "Take the week off, you deserve it."

"Wasn’t planning on asking for permission, but I’m glad to know my break was approved."

He snorts, probably because you both know it’s true that you never ask for permission and you’re one of those agents who are literally their own boss, to their partners and bosses’ despair. It usually works out, and you’re one of their best. You’re about to cross the street when Sam’s voice echoes again in the busy street, slightly muffled by the sound of cars, honks, suitcases rolling on the ground, hitting holes and bumps on the pavement, the same ones that make people trip on their own feet.

"He was worried about you." You’re not facing your literal partner in crime anymore, and you don’t turn around to show him your little smile, but he probably knows anyway.

Green lights turn to red and you breathe in before crossing the street, taking in the sky and the stars starting to appear and twinkle around a full moon, clouds almost perfectly still on this day — it was sunny, apparently, but you spent the first half of the day fighting your way home, the other half writing a report and delivering long-awaiting data and compromising documents to the Bureau. Then you had to spend another hour promising everyone you were alright and not injured to the point where you had to go to a hospital, and now you could finally go home.

And in that case home isn't necessarily your cosy apartment, the one you had just finished re-painting and decorating before you left for your mission, but as cheesy at it sounds, home might have become a person.

It takes you less than fifteen minutes to reach his apartment complex, but at least seven to cross the stairs when you realize the elevator still hasn't been fixed, painfully dragging your battered body up the wooden steps, a hand pressed to your ribs and stomach, and finally, another three minutes to dig out your spare key from that little pocket in your duffel bag, hand shaking as you miss the keyhole a few times before getting it right.

You don’t bother knocking or making your presence officially known because even though you've been gone for a month no one else has that key and he probably heard that your mission was over anyway. The slam of the door echoes behind you and you audibly groan, voicing your pain and exhaustion for the first time today.

"Honey I’m home," you call out sarcastically, letting your duffel bag hit the floor with a loud thump, slowly shrugging your leather jacket off — it falls from the coat hanger as you turn around but you don’t bother picking it up. Your body wouldn’t let you. "Remember when I said I was going on a small mission that would only take a few days? Well I was wrong."

Something drops on the kitchen table. A knife, a fork, a spoon — whatever, but something drops and clings and you hear him cough. A chair scrapping against the floor. You enter the bathroom. You smirk at your reflection in the mirror, splashing your face with water and watching droplets of blood trail down your cheeks and neck, hitting your already stained shirt.

"Turns out, it was the same group of freaking mad scientists we thought we dismantled last time. You know, that time Sam got shot?" You turn the faucet off.  "So I had to stay undercover the whole month." Hands all dried up, hair tied into a messy bun. A band-aid covering the cut on your forehead. Cream on your nose and bloody lip. "So. Yeah. That wasn’t planned."

You exit the bathroom, passing the entrance again, carefully avoiding tripping on your discarded combat boots lying on the wooden floor. They're full of mud and there is probably a lot of blood that you can't see. It’s usually very neat and clean here, all sorts of shoes lined up and in their place, a spotless wooden floor that contrasts with the white walls, and Chris would probably scold you if you didn't have a valid excuse right now.

You sigh, feet following the noise. "And my cover got blown yesterday. It was honestly one of the hardest missions I have ever been on." You shiver, pausing for a second as you close your eyes and try to shake flashbacks and images off your mind. You clear your throat, plastering a smile on your face even though Chris can't see you yet.

"Anyway — " There’s a small table right at the entrance of the living room, where you drop your gun and badge with a deafening bang.

There’s a small shit that’s being muttered over and over again but that you don’t really register, still not looking up. " — now that I killed them all I’m allowed to discuss secret details — remember their boss, Helmer? That was a nasty fight, ugh. I had to shoot him at point-blank range and I think I’ve still got pieces of his stupid brain in my hair." You shudder. "Ugh." You massage the back of your neck, rolling your head from left to right, cracking your bloody knuckles, while taking in the smell of his cooking with closed eyes.

You follow the smell, smiling softy as you enter the kitchen.

"Hey!" Chris rushes out of the room at the same time you step in, eyes wide as he takes in your form, his hands gently grabbing your forearms, caging you. Gently, tenderly, as his fingers run on your skin, but with a grip that feels urgent.

"Hey," you reply more softly, your voice still raspy. You blink, head titled to the side, grabbing onto him as well. Your hands find his toned stomach, relishing the warmth you have missed as you sigh contently. You refrain from resting your forehead on his chest, remembering the blood still splattered on your face and burning your skin, and the smell that has been invading your senses ever since you escaped literal hell.

So you gently cup his face with your hand, thumb brushing against his skin before stepping aside in order to enter the kitchen. Chris' arms reach out to you, in an attempt to keep you from entering the room, but you slip out of his embrace.

"Wait — "

"Oh — "

Your breath gets stuck in your threat, everything going still around you. You can’t even gasp or express your surprise, because every single bone and cell in your body has gone completely rigid. You stand here by the door, Chris' arms still outstretched in vain behind you, a new set of eyes staring back at you.

"You're… — " You gulp. No. “I didn't know you had company.” 

Not like this. It can't go like this. This gaze is unblinking, confused, curious, disgusted as it seems to scrutinize your outfit — ripped combat pants looking huge compared to your small feet and their dirty socks stained with mud and dust. Crumpled white shirt — more red than white. There's a wound on your stomach that won't stop bleeding. Arms painted red, blue and black with scratches and bumps and dirt smeared across your skin. Swollen lips parted and face sporting what probably looks like the stupidest facial expression ever.

Your hand find the back of your neck, angrily scratching your already chafed skin as you feel the discomfort settle into your chest, until you hear Chris clear his throat behind you, hand gently peeling your fingers off your skin, then sliding down to rest on the small of your back. You wince and it doesn't go unnoticed.

"Y/N," Chris sports a smile that looks very painful, mentally and physically. "Mom. Mom, Y/N. My colleague." A side glance. “And girlfriend.” 

There’s a small beat of silence where you think you’re going to pass out. She manages to look so composed despite her eyes literally screaming terror and horror and get this woman out of my son’s appartement ; and you, the FBI agent, look like a deer caught in headlights, a stuttering mess, shoulders dropped in despair. Maybe she would do a better job at being an undercover agent.

"I - shouldn’t shake your hand. Or, touch you...at all. I think you can guess why. See why. Clearly see why," your voice wavers. "But, um. It’s very nice to meet you. Ma’am. I should probably take a shower." You turn around, avoiding Chris' gaze, but only taking a few steps before stopping and turning back to him, resignation painted on your features.

You sigh, and try to whisper as you add : "I didn’t want to go to the hospital but I kinda need you to stitch me up right now." His blue eyes go to your stomach and his hand to his forehead, rubbing it tiredly.

"Yeah," he nods before twisting his body to face his mother, still quietly sitting at the dinner table. "Mom, I need to take care of her. We'll be here in half an hour, okay?"

You don't wait for her answer before heading straight to the bathroom, sitting on the toilet seat with your eyes closed and lips in a thin line. You hear his feet on the bathroom tiles, the sound of his dress shirt ruffling as he crouches down in front of you, palms spreading warmth on your aching thighs.

"Hey," he mutters again, soft eyes looking up through his lashes as you open your own. The beginning of a smile and a small greeting is quickly turned into a wince as his fingers gently lift the hem of your top, to fabric sticking to your skin. "Sorry."

You stay silent, sighing and hissing and biting your lower lip as your eyes stay glued to the ceiling. Chris works in silence, like he always does, and like you always do when the roles are reversed. What is there to talk about? You both know it hurts, you both know the other is sorry that they're hurting you, and it's part of the job. But the silence isn't really about your wounds right now, and you're too mortified to even glance at his face. His bottom lip is probably stuck between his teeth, eyebrows set into a focused frown, hands steady as yours still tremble from this encounter.

"All done." Hands gently pressing a bandage to your wound then sliding back to your thighs, a sigh escaping his lips.

You meet his gaze and there's this small pause where you gaze into someone's eyes and both of you are serious but you don't know if it's truly serious or if you should laugh. You raise your eyebrows, slowly, gradually, until a smirk makes its way on your fellow agent's lips.

"You do have bits of…red stuff…in your hair."

You chortle, throwing your head back, tension in the shoulders easing.

You put your hands on his shoulders as your legs spread to let him get closer to you, between your knees, and as you look down to him and his locks you feel a sense of comfort wash over you - it's been a month, and you’ve missed his hair and the smell of his shampoo.

"You could have warned me," you say. Fingers trail along his neck, beard tickling your palm and fingers. Traces of his last undercover mission are almost gone - shaven head and this sort of big goatee. It wasn’t your favorite look on him ; and now he’s gone back to this softer version of himself.

"Yeah, well, that’s kinda hard when you disappear undercover for a month, right?"

He does have a point. He holds your gaze for a moment, a slight crease between his brows, and you exhale softly, watching as he looks down to your bare stomach, bloody shirt discarded on the cold floor.

"I'm sorry. You know how it works."

"Yeah, I do."

A small pause, where you both get closer, fingers tangling in his hair, tugging, scratching.

"Maybe you can make it up to me."

"I have bits of brain in my hair." Chris' lips find the sensitive spot behind your ear, along your neck, your collarbones. Protests dying away and replaced by whimpers, already desperate for more. It has been a long month.

"Good thing we're in the bathroom, right?"

Hot breath on your skin, face nuzzling between your breasts, down your stomach, carefully avoiding your bandage as your back arches. It doesn't take long for you to find yourself pressed against a tile wall, legs wrapped around his bare body, limbs quivering - pleasure, the exhaustion of the day and the last month.

The sound of water hitting your bodies before crashing on the floor is enough to conceal your frantic heartbeats, strangled whimpers and mutters, feverish pleas. A fuck escapes your lips in the form of a low moan, Chris’ lips crashing into yours in an attempt to hold in the sound. A hungry kiss, sweet, loving, yearning.

"I've missed you - so - much." It comes out as three little gasps, matching each thrust into your body, each time your back hits the wall, each time you feel like you're finally complete. The pull in your chest, heart - it's so fierce. It almost hurts, how much you've missed him.

"Every day - " A muffled moan, fingers digging into the skin of his tense back. "I was just trying - to come back to you."

Skin prickling and tingling as droplets of water follow the curve of your tangled bodies, chills running down your spines, he buries his face into the crook of your neck as the last thrust takes all the strength that was left in your body. And as you're left quivering and panting and heaving, in this daze, there's this shared gaze that holds a thousand moments - everything it took to get here. Dodging, hitting, ducking, kicking, shooting, stabbing. Blood splattered on your face, the taste of iron in your mouth, the smell of death forever rooted in your senses. The lethal instinct that overtakes your whole body and mind when you have to fight your way home.

A throaty laugh resonates in the bathroom, traces of blood on the floor soon wiped clean, sewing kit back to the white closet right above that plant you insisted on buying specifically for his bathroom, ruined shirt thrown into a corner as if the laundry basket wasn't right next to him - you don't comment on that, relishing the feeling of a warm towel on your skin with your eyes closed and head thrown back. Different moans this time, as you get dressed painfully.

It takes a few minutes for someone to talk again, steam still fogging up the room, warmth embracing you. The mirrors are misty, and so is your mind. You roll your head from right to left, make your neck crack, stretch as far as your body lets you.

"Well," Chris drawls out lazily, visibly fighting a smirk. "I have to go back. I suppose you want to stay in my room and avoid further humiliation?"

You huff, dragging a hand across your face. "Scared I'm gonna start another extremely graphic depiction of my mission? I bet she wants to hear more about bits of scattered brain."

You wince as your hear yourself - it's gross.

"I really wish you had told me your mother was in town."

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

❛ EMPTINESS ❜

with Neron “Creeper” Vargas.

Request: Can I please get a creeper x reader. The reader has her own bad ass job that get her shot and in to a hospital and creeper can’t contact her. Then find out she in the hospital in critical condition by the cops. You could end this however you like. Thanks

BY ANON

Warnings: a little painful.

Word count: about 1.6k

Aurora says: I didn't study about medicine, sorry. I just like drama. this writing hasn't been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I'm sorry about that!

Gif credits: to my wonderful @sonsofeorl ✨

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The two shots impacted your chest faster than you would expect, but even so, you could feel them ripping your skin until getting stuck in your right lung and ribs. With no exit wounds. You could feel your own blood spilling out and staining your clothes, wetting your skin in an agonic way, while your body was falling down to the floor close to the warm gun you fired just one time. You could hear your partner claiming for an ambulance through the walkie, holding you between his arms and begging you to keep your eyes open, but it was so dark that you thought they were already closed. Your lungs were getting emptied, running out of air, bit by bit. Your pulse was descending too, even if the pain wrapping your body was increasing your tension.

The last thing you could hear was the sirens coming closer and the intense cry of your partner. After that, there was just silence, darkness and peace.

Creeper was worried, after a whole day without knowing anything about you. He knew that you were having hard days in the police station, but you usually find one minute to text him or call him. He was totally desperate, waiting at the porch of the clubhouse for you to come. But when he saw another patrol coming, that it wasn't yours, all the crew got up from their seats to run towards the sheriff of Santo Padre.

“Should be convenient that you come with us”. Your boss simply said.

And it was more than enough for him to jump into his bike about to die of a heart attack. He already knew that something bad happened. Something very bad.

His world falls into pieces, stopping suddenly his steps under the frame door. The shock of seeing you covered by tubes, and a breathing apparatus fixed on your mouth, makes his legs shake. Bishop has to grab him before faltering, helping him to walk to the bed. Tranq moves the couch close to it, making your boyfriend sitting there. Holding your free hand with his, leaning forward over the mattress, he breaks into an inconsolable crying. The worst part is that you can hear him. You want to tell him that you are okay, that everything is going to be fine. But your lips don't move. Your body doesn't respond at any order your brain gives to it.

You are surrounded by a blindly whiteness, trying to find an exit. No matter where you run to, there's nothing. There isn't a road, or a door, or a hole. Nothing. You begin to cry too, screaming his name until ripping your throat. But nothing. Terrified you let your body fall to the ground, curling your legs to your chest, wrapping it with both arms and burying your face into the gap. You just want to go home, stop feeling pain, stop feeling the emptiness that is consuming you. A disgusting sensation that you are trying to fight against.

The next few days you were conscious of all the visits you had. Your parents, your co-workers, the crew… Creeper was still there, every single second, holding your hand, talking to you. You heard the doctor telling him that some patients, after waking up from a coma, could listen to what was going on around them. He used to look back on the dates you two had before starting your relationships. When you went to the tacos food trucks and had dinner on his bike. When he brought you to Los Angeles to meet the neighborhood where he grew up in. When you were chased out from the cinema to laugh too loud. The first Mayan party, where he introduced you to his brothers, his family.

You were an eternity sitting in the same position, hearing his voice breaking as the night was coming. You could feel him suddenly waking up, shaking you a little, and seconds after, his lips pressing your forehead for some long minutes. You used to touch every single part of your anatomy he kissed with so much love and pain, trying to really feel something. But it was like an empty gesture. Like if your heart was dead, only pumping the blood through your veins.

When he was running out of ideas for talking to you about, Ezekiel brought him a book. You used to tell him that his voice could calm your most rebel demon inside your head, and he needed to make you know that he was there the whole time. Not caring about the fact if you could hear him or not. He didn't move from your side, more than to go to the bathroom, where he used to hide to smoke. You knew because you could smell it. And for the first time, it wasn't disgusting. These small and brief details were the ones which let you know you continued alive, that it wasn't somekind of illusion after death and that it wasn't a situation to live for the whole eternity.

Of course, you had a lot of time to reconsider your life, what you would like to do as soon as you could wake up. Being with him, was your main reason to do it. To live. To breathe by yourself again. And you were fighting every single second to boost your damaged lung. To strengthen it. You begin to move all the time. Shaking your hands, your arms. Jumping. Screaming. Anything to actually move your real body, until you were exhausted. Resting some minutes to start again.

You were doing it, until your little finger did a small stretch over the back of his hand. Like a soft caress. Or a try of it.

Creeper freaked out, jumping from his couch under the attentive look of Angel and Gilly. He didn't need to ask if they watched it. They talked in silence with his widened eyes and the surprised gesture of their faces.

“Hey, hey, baby!” Leaning on the bed, he puts one of his hands on your cheek to gently stroke it. “Can yo—Can you do it again?”

A suffocating heat was burning down your anatomy, opening and closing your fingers trying to do it again, while the tears were wetting your shirt. Feeling a fire growing inside your right lung, consuming it before being able to fill it with air. Like a phoenix rising from his ashes.

A deep breath switched on your body, suddenly raising a hand to pull out the tube inside your mouth and your throat, opening your eyes and feeling an incessant grief in the pit of the stomach. Turning to the edge of the bed, you throw down some saliva and bile to the floor. The tears are falling through your cheeks, feeling a mix of sensations piling up inside your chest. The emptiness had gone. You finally could feel the warm touch of Creeper on you, before falling asleep as soon as your back met the mattress.

It's been a month since that day and, even if you continue feeling some discomfort in your chest, the doctor discharges you. Setting an appointment for the next week. Falling down in your shared bed with Neron, you sink your nose into the pillow, breathing your mixed scents in it. You have talked about how you could hear him and everything that was happening around you, while you were induced into the coma, and you know that he hasn't stopped thinking about it. But you haven't talked about that you reconsider your whole entire life.

When he sits on the bed, looking at you turning towards him, you stretch your arms to hold him and urge your boyfriend to lie by your side. Resting your face in his shoulder, while he hugs you tightly, you try to find the correct words to utter.

“When I was… there, I thought about us. I mean… it was impossible to not do it, hearing you talk about our dates and our adventures”.

You two chuckles, getting comfy enough to face each other.

“It's been the best years of my life and… I can't see me living it without you”. Pursing your lips, you wrinkle slightly your nose. “I want to marry you. I want to… have a family with you. I want everything, Neron”.

“I was about to propose to you that night”. He confesses licking his bottom lip, leaving some caresses on the back of your head. “We have… risky jobs, mama. And If I have to die, I wanna do it knowing that you are my wife, and that you are… conscious of how much I love you”.

You can't help but draw a fleeting smile, before leaning to press your lips on his in a dearly gesture. Kissing him with the need you have felt during three long weeks.

“I love you, Neron… I love you more than I can put into words”. You're almost crying again, with a knot inside your throat breaking your voice.

His arms get closed strongly around you, as if it was possible to melt and mix your anatomies in one. You can't imagine a life with him, having had to live without his touches, his kisses and his hugs for what seemed like an eternity. Without can avoid your cry to get loud, you sink your face under his chin, starting to shake again just with the fact of thinking about it. About the emptiness that wrapped your body for too long, until you were able to wake up.

“Ain't gonna let anyone hurt you again, I promise, mama. And I will keep my promise even if ain't close to you”.

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