#her being young informs her whole world view and way of thinking

[spicyraeman]

If you're headcanoning lae'zel as older than she is, you're missing a fundamental part of her character

[rosenclaws]

I See the Light || DOFP!Logan x Reader

Summary: Logan saved the future but now he doesn't feel like he fits into the mansion anymore. He doesn't know what he needs but he just knows he needs a break. So Charles sends him on a mission that changes his whole world.

warnings: fem!reader (she/her pronouns used), abusive parents (Not descriptive), injury, reader deals with a jerk and logan saves the day, swearing

wc: 6k

a/n: Sooo I might have fucked around and wrote 6k words today. This is my entry for @princessanglophile birthday writing challenge! I was given dofp logan and I see the Light from Tangled. I was so so excited to get this song as its one of my favorite disney songs and I'm so happy that I was able to finally get the story that's been in my head in writing. This fic very very loosely follows the plot of tangled but only in a few ways. I really hope it lives up to the song and I was able to do it justice. Enjoy!!

If there was one word to describe how Logan felt after coming back from 1973. It would be lost. He wouldn't say it himself, in fact he'd insist he was just fine. I mean the plan worked, he went back and he saved everyone. Who wouldn't be thrilled to come back to a peaceful world?

But in doing so Logan sacrificed everything. His friends, his family, they don't remember him.

They only know this timeline version of Logan. So now he's a stranger to them and they're strangers to him. He wakes up and teaches his classes but he doesn't know these students.

He sees Rouge and Bobby and he can't help but think of the timeline where Rogue took the cure and lost all her powers. Seeing Kitty all grown up and teaching the new generation of mutants. Storm being the leader he always knew she could be. And of course. Jean. She was alive in this world and so was Scott. It had been years since he saw them.

He doesn't know how to feel. He's found and lost those closest to him. After all of this, he just needs a break. To find himself and learn to stop fighting. He doesn't have to anymore but the rest of him hasn't caught up with that sentiment.

"Logan, I have a mission for you." Charles has called him into his office. He can sense Logan's unease and despite helping him regain some memory from this timeline he knows that Logan is struggling.

"While this world is not as violent as you remember, there are a few anti mutant sentiments still lingering throughout the country." He hands Logan manilla folder.

"She's been raised her whole life in hiding. Her parents forced her at a young age. You need to find her and bring her back.

"And exactly how am I going to do that? If she's in hiding?" Logan asks, flipping through the little information he's been giving.

"Don't tell me you've lost your touch." Charles says with a smirk. Logan shuts the folder and tosses it back at Charles.

"Give me a week."

"This will be good for you Logan. Be patient with her." Logan nods and turns his back to leave.

"One more thing, Take your time Logan." Charles gives him a look that Logan doesn't quite understand and just nods.

After throwing a few things into a backpack he slings it over his shoulder and silently weaves through the mansion. He sees a few people in the kitchen, laughing over cups of coffee and stories of their students. His heart tugs as he looks away, he has a mission to complete.

He doesn't even say goodbye.

Swiping Scotts keys he hops into one of the many cars in the garage. The only information Charles really had was that she was located across the country.

For days Logan drives through the mountains and plains of America. It's a little weird to be honest. He remembers the world turning to a complete wasteland. Nothing but death and destruction. He never once looked at a field of grass while driving down the interstate and thought anything but how boring the view was. Now things are a little different.

After hopping from shitty motels and diners with sweet waitresses and heart stopping food he finally makes it to where Charles said you were. It's a small beach down on the coast of California. Of all the places to be trapped this isn't the worst he thinks as he parks his car at some motel.

The front desk worker barely paid attention as he handed Logan the keys to his room and a brochure of everything the town had to offer. Which was two restaurants and the beach. Realistically he knows you wouldn't be anywhere in town. Too many people. Probably somewhere on the outskirts of town. He slips into a bar, ordering a glass of whiskey and pokes around. Asking the already drunk locals about the weird parts of town. Any strange people.

After some teeth pulling conversations with a woman who was clearly trying to get in his pants, he manages to get information about this house on top of a hill about five miles out of town. How the kids think it's haunted and only a lone woman lives there. The windows are boarded and a wire fence blocks any trespassers.

Bingo.

Apparently the woman leaves every three days at dawn and doesn't return until night and luckily for him she should be leaving tomorrow morning.

With a cigar in hand Logan stares out at the ocean, he doesn't know what time it is but he knows he can't sleep. His dreams are still plagued with watching his friends die. He just can't shake them off, even if that's not how things are anymore.

At the first sight of light peeking over the horizon he hops into his car and drives towards the lone cabin. He ditches the car about two miles in and walks the rest of the way. The sky is painted pinks and purples as he reaches the small cabin.

He catches two unfamiliar scents as he nears. One makes his eyes water, it's rotten. The other is much sweeter, like fresh flowers and honey. The door opens and Logan jumps behind a tree. The sound of footsteps and a car ring loud in his ears. He moves like an animal as he blends himself in with the foliage.

Once the car is gone he hurries past the fence. Cutting through it with ease and making his way into the cabin. He doesn't see anything as he enters. The lights are turned off and everything seems in order.

"Hello?" He calls into the dark house. His nose twitches as that floral scent invades his nose again. He closes his eyes and his hearing zones in on a heartbeat. It's beating faster and faster.

His eyes snap open and he turns around, grabbing your wrist that was inches above his back. In your hand was a crude excuse for a knife. Your eyes are wide and full of fear, your hands trembling in his grasp.

"There you are kid," Logan plucks the knife from hand with no fight and tosses it onto the counter.

"W-Who are you?" You try and tug your wrist away but he's too strong.

"Logan. Now I'm here to get you out of this place." He expects this, fear or uncertainty is common. But you he's never had someone try and attack him before. He wonders what your powers are.

"No." You say making Logan raise an eyebrow.

"I can't leave. She said they'd hurt me."

"Hurt you?" He lets go of your wrist and you slink back to the corner of the room. He wonders just want your mother has told you. He sighs and sits down on one of the dining room chairs.

The look on his face makes you shiver. He's so. Intense. No smile, no soft words. Like he could careless if you went with him or not.

"Why did they send you?" You ask and Logan just shrugs.

"I'm a people person." He says in a deadpan voice. You don't say anything back and Logan slowly lets his so called "angry" face shift to something else. You're probably scared and he's not great with people but he does want to help.

"Look I don't know what she told you, but I can promise that you don't deserve to be locked up from the world." He says and you lower your head.

"I know you're scared, but I'm just like you." He unsheathes his claws making you jump.

"There's this place, a home for people like us where we can be safe and you can learn to control whatever powers you have." You look down at your hands. Still uncertain about all of this.

Your mother had kept you here your whole life, forcing you to never use your powers. Telling you that the world hates what you are and to be lucky she hasn't fed you to the wolves already. Honestly you don't know why she keeps you around, but its true. You can't protect yourself from whatever is out there.

But this man, Logan. He seems like he's taken care of himself just fine. Not a single scratch on him. Maybe he can protect you too.

Your heart has longed for so much more than whatever this life has been so far. The books you read don't hold a candle to the real thing. Could he really take you to a place that's safe.

"Come with me and if you don't want it, if you don't like it. I'll take you back home." He offers, seeing the swirling emotions in your eyes.

"Promise?" You ask softly.

"Promise." Logan sticks his hand out. You glance down at it. It feels too good to be true but this could be your chance to leave this house, to be yourself. But your mother? Honestly, she'd be happy with you gone. Would she come after you or rejoice that her one problem is gone?

Guess you'll have to find out. You reach out and take Logan's hand, hoping you didn't just make a big mistake.

Logan doesn't waste much time heading back home. He takes you back to the motel and tells you to wait in the car while he packs his stuff and checks you. You've never been in a car before. Of course you knew what they were but being inside one was different.

Curiosity gets the best of you as you open every compartment and press every button you can see. You press something the car makes a noise making you jump. You press it again and again before Logan pulls the door open.

"Hey, quit fucking with the horn." He grumbles as gets into the drivers seat.

"Sorry." You apologize, putting your hands in your lap and looking down at them.

You're silent for a while. Not moving, not speaking a word. Logan keeps sneaking glances at you, guilt slowly building as you don't even look out the window.

When Charles said you were sheltered, he didn't realize you were this sheltered. He thinks back to what Charles said before he left. Patience. He's still working on that one.

"I didn't mean to snap at you." Logan says making you look up at him. Your head tilting in confusion.

"You really never been in a car?" He asks as he turns his attention back to the road.

"No, my parents wouldn't let me. I had to stay inside. I couldn't leave." You say quietly.

"You were pressing on the horn, you don't want to use it often. Only to get someone's attention or when someone's being a jackass." You nod your head, watching the other cars driving.

Suddenly Logan swears as a car cuts too close in front of him. He slams his hand on the horn and swerves around the car. He speeds up, glaring at the driver and throwing up his claws in a threatening manner.

"Like that?" You ask. Logan looks at you and lets out a small laugh.

"Yeah, like that."

He drives a little while longer before stopping for gas. He hands you a twenty and tells you to grab some snacks as he fiddles with the machine. You're too shy to tell him you've never been in a store before so you take the money and head in.

It's like a wonderland of sweets and food. You're mom didn't let you have anything like this. In fact she never even told you about half the things on the shelves. You had read about candy and soda in the books she'd bring you but that was it.

You grab anything you can carry. You're too wrapped up in the overwhelming options that you don't see the man in front of you. You bump into him and send both of your things to the ground. The drink in his hand spilling onto his shirt.

"I'm so sorry!" You squeak as you the man turns around and glares at you.

"Watch where you're fucking going." He snaps making your eyes widen.

You reach down and try to pick up the fallen items but he grabs onto your wrist. This isn't the same as when Logan did it. Logan was firm but gentle while this man was angry.

"You're hurting me." You try tugging yourself free but its no use. The mans grip tightens on your wrist. Suddenly the man is ripped away from you and thrown onto the ground.

"Get the fuck off her!" Logan growls. He stands tall above the man, a pissed off look on his face.

"She ran into me!" The man scrambles to his feet, trying to puff his chest out to stand toe to toe with Logan but it's a feeble attempt.

"Stupid bitch." Logan grabs onto his shirt and slams him into the shelf, uncaring if things fall.

"Listen here bub, you get the fuck out of here and take your cheap gas station coffee with you." Logan lets go of him and grabs the coffee cup.

Slamming it into his chest with force. You watch, afraid to even move as Logan pushes the man out of his way. He scrambles out the door, yelling something that you can't quite understand. Logan turns to you and your eyes start to well with tears.

"I'm so sorry I didn't mean to cause all this I-"

"Hey, stop crying." Logan grabs your arms and waits for you to calm down. "It was an accident. That asshole isn't worth crying over alright?" He grabs all he fallen snacks and brings them to the counter.

The poor cashier couldn't even look Logan in the eye as he pays. Too afraid Logan might beat him up too. He hands you the bag of snacks and grabs a few cigars too.

"You really like sugar don't you?" He jokes as he sees the amount of sugary items in the bag.

"I've never had it before." You admit as you dig through the bag and find something small.

Chocolate.

You dreamed of tasting it for the first time. You rip open the wrapper and bite into it. Wolfing it down in seconds. Logan chuckles, seeing the brightness in your eyes as you taste it for the first time.

"Pretty good huh sweetheart." He reaches over and takes your chin in his hand.

You drop whatever's in your hand, a sudden feeling of...you don't what to call it. Your stomach flutters as he wipes some chocolate off the side of your lips. Your heart starts to beat faster when you see him smile, his eyes turning soft. Palms sweaty and for some reason you don't think you can even look at him right now.

He lets go of you and turns back to the road without a second thought, like he didn't just cause this kind of reaction in you. You hug the bag of sweets and stare out at the road. Trying to calm your beating heart.

Night falls and Logan is still driving, he could drive for a while if he had to but he sees you asleep off out of the corner of his eye. He pulls of the highway and into the parking lot of a motel. He leaves you asleep in the passenger seat reluctantly, checking every couple seconds as he books a room.

When he comes back you're still sound asleep. You look so peaceful, a smile on your face and he wonders what you're dreaming about.

Candy wrappers sit on the floor the car but he just leaves them be. He did have to cut you off after about three kit kats, not wanting you to give yourself a stomach ache.

Seeing someone try flavored chips and processed candy for the first time was amusing. Seeing your face light up with each bite. You were just so, optimistic. He doesn't really know how. He expected you to be angry, jaded, afraid and meek from being locked away for so long. But instead you're full of wonder and curiosity.

You almost gave him a heart attack when you saw a cow for the first time. You slammed your hands on the window and you screamed in excitement. Pictures didn't do them justice, they were just too cute. Things that other people take for granted every day, you saw as new and wonderful.

He opens the car door and scoops you up in arms. Trying not to wake you as he makes his way into the room. Placing you on one of the beds.

"Hm?" You mumble as you sit up, the jostling having woken you.

"Sorry, tried not to wake you. We're stopping for the night go back to sleep." Logan whispers, laying a blanket over you.

"Okay..." Logan takes a sharp breath when he sees your wrist. The one that man from earlier had grabbed on to. You paid no mind to it as you roll over on your side, snuggling the warm blanket.

"Hey, we need to get this checked out." He gently grabs your wrist but you shoo him away.

"M'fine, it doesn't hurt." You say but he doesn't budge.

"Still, it looks like a nasty bruise is forming." You bat away his hand and cover your wrist with your other hand. Logan's jaw drops as your hair starts to glow. He scrambles back as the it shines brightly and then slowly fades away. When you move your hand your wrist is completely back to normal. No bruising to be seen.

"What the?" He looks at you in shock.

"My powers, I don't really know why but the hair glow seems to be apart of it." You rest your head back into the pillows.

"Why would your parents ever want you to hide this?" He asks in disbelief, your powers weren't ones of destruction but of healing.

A sad looks appears on your face and he doesn't ask any more questions. He sighs and rests his hand on your shoulder.

"Get some rest, we'll keep going in the morning." Your eyes close and sleep comes quicker than it has in a long time, Logan's presence lulling you into a feeling of safety.

The morning light shines right in your eyes as you wake to the sound of snoring. You groan as you roll over onto your back. As the world comes into focus you expect to find yourself staring at the cold wood ceiling you've woken up to every day of your life. But you don't.

You shoot straight up in bed seeing the motel décor and Logan asleep on his bed. He's sprawled out on his stomach, shirtless. His hair is still somehow in the same shape as it always sits. The gray streak in his hair matches with the slight graying of his beard. You feel that fluttering sensation in your stomach as you look at him. You want to look away but you can't. His face has that grumpy look on it, even in his sleep. You giggle as you see some drool on his pillow. You lay back down on your pillow, turning to face Logan. Is it creepy to watch someone sleep? Probably, but you wouldn't mind if Logan watched you sleep.

The only man you had ever known before was your father. When he left your mother grew bitter and angry. Neither of them liked your mutant powers but your mother really hated them. You never really understood why. You could help so many people but she refused.

She would tell you that people lead to nothing but trouble. That everyone was cruel and selfish. That love of any kind wasn't real. But some nights you'd sneak into her study and take on of the many books on the shelves.

Stories of romance , adventure, a knight in shining armor. Despite what your mother said to you, those books kept your fantasies of love alive. You just haven't experienced for yourself let. Could that be the silly feeling in your stomach?

I mean, Logan did come in and rescue you. He wasn't wearing armor or riding a horse, instead he showed up in a blue car and a leather jacket. He didn't slay a dragon but he did threaten that one guy at the gas station. You hear him stir, his eyes opening as he groans and shoves a pillow over his eyes so the sun stops hitting him.

You quickly turn on your other side, pretending to be asleep. Would Logan even want to be with someone like you? He's on a mission to bring you back to his home. This is just a mission for him.

Right?

The week deadline Logan gave Charles has gone out the window. It's been far longer as the two of you drive into a new state. Truth be told Logan has been enjoying being away from the mansion. There's no pressure to be anyone but who he is out here.

You don't know anything about his past, or who he was before he came back. You're bright eyed and curious. You had become more and more comfortable around him. You didn't care if he could shoot claws through his knuckles, you trusted him completely.

Now every time you saw something new you begged him to stop. He pretended to be annoyed, making some comment about how he doesn't have the money for all this damn gas. But he can't say no to you. Despite being locked away for so long you seem to have perfected your puppy dog eyes in a matter of days.

In some weird way, watching you discover the world has made him find some joy in life that he's been missing. Logan has always been a glass half empty person if you will and you were so full that some of it was spilling into Logan's glass. He learned that you weren't completely clueless but there were a lot of things that you had never experienced for yourself. Being told stories could only do so much.

You're leaning against the window of the car humming a song on the radio. You really love the radio. In the cupholder sits a water bottle that had been cut in half and filled with dirt and flowers. You had asked him to pull over while passing this field of flowers. He leaned against the car as you took your time admiring them all.

Laying down in the grass and staring at the blue sky. You had called him over and he stood above you, a smile on his face as you held out your hand.

"I don't frolic in flowers sweetheart." Still he let you lay and watch the wind blow the clouds, pointing out the ones that looked a little funny. By the time you got back in his car you had dirt on your clothes and the biggest smile on your face.

You handed him a little handful of daisies. You could barely look at him as you gave them to him, telling him they were a thank you. Those cute little flowers are now living in a cupholder but he likes being reminded of that day.

"Woah! Logan what's that?!" You sit up and point out the window. To your right was a massive wheel and tents and lots of cars.

"Must be a fair or something." He says.

"What's that?"

"It's like a big party I guess. There's greasy food and games and rides." He points towards the big wheel.

"Can we go?" You beg, this is the fourth time today you've asked him to stop and at this rate you won't get back to the mansion by next month. But Logan pulls off the freeway anyways.

The parking lot is uneven ground and you stumble as you try and step in the right spots. Logan just laughs, holding out his arm for you. Shyly you wrap your hands around his big biceps. The bright lights and smells overwhelm you as you step through the gates.

People all around you are laughing and enjoying themselves. You see kids running past trying to get to the next ride, people eating delicious smelling food, bells and whistles literally ringing in your ears from the different game booths.

"Too much?" Logan asks, pulling you to the side.

"No, it's just. I've never seen so many happy people all in one place." You admit. It was an contagious feeling, you wanted to explore everything. and be as happy as the people around you.

Logan takes you through the fair, not letting you go for a moment. He lets you play those rigged fair games for that teddy bear he could easily buy at some second hand store. But you want it so he pays the money. He does end up taking the last shot for you, using all his strength to knock down those damn bottles. Which he does but he also rips a whole in the tent and the tent behind it.

Oops. But you have that teddy bear now.

"I'm going to get us some food, you stay right here got it? No wandering." You nod as you sit on the wooden bench.

You're holding onto the bear waiting for him to come back when you hear someone crying. Through the noise of the fair you can pin point the quiet sobs. You know Logan told you to stay put but you can't ignore the cries. You get up and look around for the source, ducking behind one of the tents to see a little girl on the ground. She has tears streaming down her face clutching her knee.

"What's wrong?" You ask softly as you approach her. She looks scared and you try not to make things worse.

"I fell and hurt my knee and now I can't find my parents." She sniffs, wiping her eyes.

"Can I see your knee, I can help I promise." She looks unsure and so you take the teddy bear Logan won for you and hand it to her.

"This is Mr. Bear, he's a friend." She reaches out and takes him, petting his fluffy head and letting you get closer.

She hugs him tight as you gently rest your hands over her knee. Closing your eyes you hear her gasp as your hair starts to glow. When you open your eyes again her knee is healed. She stares at you in awe.

"You're magic!" She squeals as she stands up, her energy coming back in full force.

"I guess," She jumps into your arms, hugging you tightly. Suddenly she perks up, the frantic voice of an adult calling her name.

"That's my mommy, I should go." She hands you back Mr. Bear but you tell her to keep it.

She runs off to her mom and through the gaps of the tents you see her run into her arms. Her mom overjoyed at finding her again. Your heart sinks just a little, your own mother clawing her way back into your mind. Does she miss you? Did she even notice you were gone? You hear a tent rip and you turn around to see Logan pushing through the fabric. A panicked look on his face.

"Fuck! There you are." He grabs your arm and pulls you back out into the fair.

"I told you to stay put!" He sighs, running his hands through his hair.

"I'm sorry...This little girl, she was hurt and I wanted to help." You wrap your arms around your body, afraid that Logan would be upset at you forever. He looks around and sees a familiar looking bear in a little girls hand. She was talking animatedly to her mother. He can pick up a few words. Magic, healing.

"That was dangerous to do sweetheart, you don't know what kind of people are out here." The worry in his chest isn't going anywhere as he sits down on the bench.

The fear that overtook him when he saw you were gone, fuck he hasn't felt that in a long time. His mind going to the worst places as he frantically searched for you.

"I know, I just couldn't leave her there." You say.

The truth is you had forgotten what the world was like to people like you. Your mother fed you lies for years about how horrible people were to those like you. Mutants. But for some reason when you're with Logan you feel safe. You feel like nothing can hurt you with him around. He's completely flipped your life upside down and you've loved every second. So for a moment you didn't even think of the danger of using your powers out in public. Not when you had Logan.

To your shock Logan pulls you into a hug. His arms wrapping around you tightly. You're here, you're okay. He tells himself. He can't fight it anymore, this feeling inside of him. Somethin in him has changed and it's all your fault.

He lets go far too soon your liking. Not saying a word as he hands you some food. You eat in silence, your knee bouncing up and down as you keep glancing at Logan.

"You don't like it?" He asks seeing how you've barely touched it.

"No no I do, I just...I guess I'm not that hungry." You push the tray of food back to Logan and he just sighs.

"Come on, I want to show you something." He stands up and holds out his hand.

Silently you let him lead you through the crowds until you've gone past the games and the food. Your jaw drops as you see the big wheel come into view. All of your worries are forgotten as you run towards it, Logan following close behind.

"Get in sweetheart, I'll be right there." You see him whisper something to the ride operator and hand him something before getting in next to you. You yelp as it starts to move. Slamming your back against the metal of the seat.

"It's okay, I got you." Logan lifts his arm and puts it around you, letting you stick to his side as the cart goes higher and higher.

You wrap your arms around his waist, burying your face in his chest as you feel yourself getting higher up in the sky. A loud pop makes you screech and slide closer to Logan. He chuckles and gently tilts your head up to look at him.

"Check it out sweetheart, got the best view in the house." You slowly move your face to see big bright colors in the air. You let go of Logan and grab onto the metal bar. Leaning over it as you watch the bright colors shoot through the sky.

"Fireworks." You say breathlessly.

Every year the small city near by would launch these into the sky. Your mother always forced you to bed before night fall but you had your ways and would sneak all the way to the attic. Watching through the tiny window. You could only ever catch a glimpse but it was the highlight of your year, now here they are right in front of you.

"They're beautiful."

Red, Orange, Blue shimmers of light just light up the whole sky. The sky rumbles from the loud booms and the soft fizzles. You rest your head in your hands, utterly mesmerized by the scene in front of you.

Logan has seen a lot of fireworks in his day but these just might be his favorite. They're nothing special. Maybe a little bigger than he's scene before. But these are the ones to bring a smile to your face. You haven't stopped smiling since the show started. He wanted you as close as you could get and what better place than the top of the Ferris wheel.

There's colors lighting up the sky but his eyes are on you. He just can't help himself. Seeing you so happy, so at peace. It's all he wants. His own heart beats a little faster when you look back at him. Nothing but pure joy in that pretty smile.

"Gorgeous." He whispers. You look down at your lap, fighting the fluttering in your stomach.

"Thank you, for everything Logan. For showing me the world, for...for just being you." You don't think you could ever repay what Logan has done for you.

Everything feels so different now but it's a good different. The kind of different that makes you want to dig deeper to see just what has changed.

"I owe you more than you know sweetheart," Logan's rough hand covers yours. He gently takes lifts it off the metal bar and interlaces his fingers with yours, squeezing it gently.

"You asked when we first met why they sent me to come get you." His other hand reaches to cup your face. There's nothing but love and adoration in his eyes as he tilts your head up.

"The truth is I was lost." He doesn't want to spill everything but he needs to know what this whole trip, what you mean to him.

"The past couple of months it feels like I've been drowning, like I couldn't breathe. Until I met you. You look at the world with an optimism I haven't scene in so long. It's infectious. You're infectious."

"Is that a good thing?" You whisper, afraid to even move in fear of ruining this moment.

"Depends, I'm an old man sweetheart. If you don't mind that, if you don't mind me." He knows that he may not be the kind of person you've dreamed of. He's not exactly out of a storybook now is he?

"Logan...All I've known is the inside of that house. I didn't know what was out here," You glance back at the fireworks, at the people below you watching and laughing.

"But you showed me just what I've been missing and I could never thank you enough. I don't know why you felt so lost, but I'm glad it led you to me." Everything just feels right, your heart beating in time with his as he leans in.

Capturing your lips in a soft kiss. Now you don't know if the fireworks are in your head or if they're still going. You can't focus on anything but the feeling of his lips on yours. Both his hands now cupping your face as he deepens the kiss. Chasing after the fresh air that he's longed to breathe.

You reach up and tug on his jacket. Needing him closer to you. This, this is more than you could ever imagine. The stories don't do it justice. Words on paper could never have prepared you for this. For the feeling of his hands on your skin, the movement of his lips, the soft noises, the scent of cigars and honey, the desperation behind every single thing he does.

It couldn't have prepared you for the overwhelming flood of emotions swirling through your heart. It's brand new and you never wanted to it to end. It feels like an eternity passes by the time Logan finally pulls back, his lips still so close to yours. His chest rises and falls slowly. Maybe it's just the fair lights but you swear you see the red creeping up his face.

"What are you looking at?" You ask shyly. A giggle bubbling in your chest as he presses a kiss to your cheek.

"Just wondering how I got so lucky." He says sincerely. Seriously how? Maybe this was the worlds way of thanking him, for forgiving him for the sins of his past.

"I think I'm the lucky one." You kiss his wrist, resting your hand on his arm.

The ferris wheel lurches back into motion taking you both off guard. Logan grabs onto you quickly, pulling you into his chest as you slowly move back down to the ground.

It's like everyone else fades to the background as Logan guides you through the crowd. You're very aware of his hand in yours. You don't ever want to let go. But the fair has come to an end and it's time to leave. Though you don't think you'll ever forget today.

"Do we have to go back to New York already?" You ask as you rest your head against the car window.

"There's still so much I want to see." So much you want to see with Logan.

Logan taps on the steering wheel, he knows he'll have to return to the mansion eventually but he looks over and sees those pleading eyes.

"I don't think they're missing me too much, maybe a little longer." Your eyes light up and he just shakes his head, a smile on his face. Man is he fucked.

I'll be home soon Charles, if you can hear me.

As Logan pulls out of the parking lot he thinks back to what he was told before leaving. Take your time. Well he never specified just how much time. In fact, a small cabin up in Canada doesn't sound too bad right about now. But he'll take you there another day. For now, you have the whole world to explore. He rests his hand on your thigh and pulls out onto the freeway.

"So sweetheart, where do you want to go next?"

[chocolatepot]

Hi! Can you elaborate on "Fuck GRRM's committment to 'historical realism' without knowing anything about medieval social history"? I would love to know about what GRRM gets wrong about medieval gender roles, specifically.

So Cersei learns at an early age that she has no agency, her only value is producing heirs and is barred from traditional routes of power so she has to use underhanded methods such as influencing men with sex or using underhanded magical means. I would love an explanation on why this doesn't reflect medieval queen consorts and noble women irl.

Sure! The basic summary is: GRRM "knows" the things that everyone "knows" about the middle ages, which are broad stereotypes often reflective of a) primary sources that deserve a critical reading rather than being taken at face value and b) the judgements of later periods making themselves look better at the medieval period's expense.

As Shiloh Carroll argues, building on the work of Helen Young, “readers are caught in a ‘feedback loop’ in which Martin’s work helps to create a neomedieval idea of the Middle Ages, which then becomes their idea of what the Middle Ages ‘really’ looked like, which is then used to defend Martin’s work as ‘realistic’ because it matches their idea of the real Middle Ages.”

Since you're mainly interested in Cersei here, I'd strongly recommend a book: Queenship and the Women of Westeros: Female Agency and Advice in Game of Thrones and A Song of Ice and Fire, edited by Zita Eva Rohr and Lisa Benz. It's an excellent read and speaks to exactly what you're asking about. The tone of the book is very positive and non-judgemental when it comes to GRRM and his depictions of women on the whole, but I think some of this is rhetorical positioning to not seem like "mean angry academics jumping on fiction for not being accurate," as the actual content turns the reader to thinking about how much agency and power medieval queens had in different European societies and how little of that worked its way into GRRM's worldbuilding.

It's true that women typically didn't inherit titles and thrones in their own right, and that they were usually given in marriage for political/dynastic reasons. However, they weren't seen as brood mares whose only duty was to pop out sons: both queens and noblewomen had roles to play as household managers, counselors, and lieutenants, actively participating in the ruling of their domains and in local and international diplomacy (women in political alliances were not just pawns sent to a powerful man's bed, but were to act as ambassadors for their families and to pass information back and forth), and they had to be raised with an understanding of this so that they could learn to do it. Motherhood was very important, don't get me wrong, but it's a mistake to assume as pop culture does that a wife's foremost duty being to provide heirs for her family meant that she was ONLY seen as a mother/potential mother.

Catelyn is a great example of what was expected of women in these positions. But in the books, Catelyn is basically the only woman who inhabits this role, and the impression given is that she's exceptional, that she's just in charge of the household because she's so great at it that Ned allows her to be his partner, and that he listens to her advice because she happens to be a wise person in his orbit - and also that Ned is exceptional for giving so much power to a woman, because in the world of ASOIAF, it takes an especially good man to do this. In GRRM's view of the medieval world, realpolitik and the accumulation of power are the most important things, so men in Westeros are extremely unlikely to give up any authority to their wives, even though this is historically inaccurate.

Cersei, on the other hand, is supposed to be a more realistic depiction of what would happen to an ambitious medieval woman. There's a chapter titled "Queen of Sad Mischance: Medievalism, “Realism,” and the Case of Cersei Lannister" in the book I've rec'd, and it deals with why this is problematic extremely well. (This is the source of the quote at the top of this post.) In it, Kavita Mudan Finn argues that Cersei embodies pretty much every medieval trope for the illegitimate wielding of power by a woman. She underhandedly gets people killed for opposing her, she seduces men into doing her bidding, she advances her family's interests and her own at the expense of the realm. She's made sympathetic through fannish interpretation and Lena Headey's performance, but in the text she's an evil woman doing evil things. Even when she gets to be regent for her son - a completely legitimate historical position that allowed women to handle the levers of power almost exactly like a king - she continues to do shitty things and not be taken seriously because she's just not good at ruling.

But even before then, from a medieval perspective she had access to completely legitimate power that she didn't use: she'd have had estates giving her a large personal income, religious establishments to patronize (giving her a good reputation as a pious woman and people she'd put in high positions being personally loyal to her), artists and writers to patronize as well, power over her household, men around her listening to her counsel. That she doesn't have that is a reflection of GRRM either deciding these things don't really exist in Westeros in order to make it a worse world than medieval Europe and justify Cersei feeling she had to use underhanded means of power, or not knowing that they were ordinary and unexceptional because he has a good working knowledge of the politics of the Wars of the Roses but little to no knowledge of social history beyond pop culture osmosis, and, imo, little to no interest in actual power dynamics.

There are a lot of books I'd recommend on this subject. There's a series from Palgrave Macmillan called "Queenship and Power" and nearly all the books in it are THE BEST. Theresa Earenfight's Queenship in Medieval Europe is a very readable introduction to the situations of queens in European societies across the continent. She also has a book, Women and Wealth in Late Medieval Europe, that also addresses non-royal women's power. I'm also a huge fan of English Aristocratic Women, 1450-1550: Marriage and Family, Property and Careers, by Barbara Harris, which really emphasizes the "career" aspect of women's lives as administrators and diplomats.

[insomniakisses]

An eye for an eye | One

Characters: Aemond x sister reader (platonic), Rhaenyra x sister reader (platonic), Alicent x step daughter reader (Platonic) (hotd characters)

Reader type: Female

Warnings / Notes: tw viserys, tw otto, tw daemon, events of driftmark, absent and shitty father viserys, metions of torturous, dragons, graphic violent scenes. I think thats it. Possable targcest in the future.

Parts: Two.

You couldn’t help the giggles that escaped your lips as you ran around the gardens, aemond chasing after you soft giggles falling from him two. The younger boy declaring he was going to catch you but he was at a disadvantage you were 4 years older than him, though even at the age of 10 he was gaining height and strength.

You begin to slow as tiredness kicks in and he smirks, using the last of his energy to surge forward catching up with ease as he wraps his arms around you and pushes you both to the floor. Laughter escaping you both on impact. Though its short lived when rhaenyra comes bolting over pulling you off the ground a hard glare fixed on her face.

“That is most un-lady like sister,” she hisses before her gaze fixes on your brother, “Aemond do you not know how to properly behave around a lady?” She scolds and you roll your eyes seeing jace and luke laughing behind her.

“I- we were playing! Only playing! Shes not hurt i promise-“ the young prince stutters clearly afraid of the much older royals wraith knowing just how protective of you your sister can be.

“Really?” She draws out with a scoff bringing ur arm into view and he sees the smallest of scrapes along your forearm his eyes widening.

“Rhaenyra!” You call shaking off her grip and moving to stand by Aemond, “its barely an injury, it doesn’t even hurt. You needn’t worry yourself!” You exclaim hand clasping Aemond’s as you continue. “He will take me to the maesters to get it checked out now, won’t you Aem?”

The boy nods with a small smile when you squeeze his hand in reassurance making sure he knows your not in the slightest mad at him and that everything is okay.

Spending the rest of the day inside the two of you resigned to the library reading up on family histories and practicing your High Valyrian. Save the brief interruption from Alicent, the queen asking to check your injury having been informed by Rhaenyra that her “undisciplined” son had caused you harm.

Though as soon as she saw you two laughing and joking around she knew in her heart that there was no way he would have hurt you. Especially not intentionally.

You simply smile at the queen greeting her by her title and allowing her to gently lift your arm inspecting the wound before she left you be leaving a soft kiss to both of your heads as she bid her goodbyes. On her way to the king no doubt.

— one year later —

The whole family was being taken to Driftmark, apparently for the funeral of Laena Velarion. Though the two of you had only spoken once, having accidentally ran into her and Rhaenyra, she seemed nice enough and you were sad that she had died so early into her life. Your half-sibling however didn’t seem to care. Aegon was ceaselessly complaining as usual, Helaena of in her own world like always and Aemond, well he was respectful enough to understand why you were going but he clearly wasn’t saddened by the news.

The king and Alicent were set to arrive by boat accompanied by the four of you, but Aegon having recently mounted Sunfyre for a real flight insisted he go by dragon back the king uncaringly agreeing and shooing of Alicent’s protests. Her visible worry evident the whole way as she picked and chewed at her fingers you and Aemond sharing a concern look before going over to her. Grasping a hand each you held her tightly and she smiled. You couldn’t tell if it was forced or not, but she let out a small exhale as she held you giving away she was more relaxed even if it was only slightly.

Once the ship had docked Alicent all but ran to Aegon though he rolled his eyes and told her to leave him be as he wasn’t a child anymore. He failed to see how she flinched when Sunfyre moved or how she stood still till the dragon moved away. One of her biggest fears dragons were, something you had picked up recently.

You latch back onto her arm when she’s beside you again, having grown rather attached to her in the years of Rhaenyras absence. She had left without warning or a goodbye. You can still remember the nights you laid crying for her hugs or her soft touch when she braided your hair helping you ready yourself in the morning. All of that was Alicent’s job now, not that she minded, she loved you as her own and enjoyed how you curled against her needy for a mother’s touch. She just wishes you wouldn’t call her Alicent, it always hurt her not hearing the word “mother”.

———— That Night ————

The funeral had been somewhat uneventful, Aegon had gotten drunk and was sent to bed early by Otto and Daemon had made a scene laughing during the ceremony. But that was all really, soon you were all sent to bed and you had fallen asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow. Exhausted from the day of traveling no doubt.

However, the sound of whooshing and a dragons deep roar had woken you, slipping on a cloak and your shows you had gone to investigate. By the time you came downstairs there was shouting and a trail of blood into the main hall. Following it you entered seeing Aemond holding his eye and the adults screaming at each other. Jace with bloody hands and Luke with a broken nose yet Rhaenyra, Daemon and Laenor were nowhere in sight. You rushed to Aemond side feeling Alicent pull u into her body your hand grasping her dress as you stares at the bloody sight.

Then in came Rhaenyra and you completely zoned out staying by Aemond’s side and holding his hand throughout the whole ordeal. Crying for your brother when the king seemed not to care and made no move to punish the boys for attacking him.

After all was said and done Aemond was given milk of the poppy and essence of night shade for the pain and to help him sleep. While the rest of you were ushered to your respective chambers though you slept very little worried about Aemond and so saddened at Rhaenyra’s intention of having someone torturing him. Afterall he had just lost an eye.

———— Back in Kings Landing ————

“ALICENT ENOUGH!” the king roared, having had enough of her nagging.

“THEY TOOK HIS EYE, YOUR GRACE, SOMEONE HAS TO PAY!” And he sighs sitting on his throne looking half dead.

“My dear wife,” he starts voice bored and tired. “Lucerys is just a boy. Children fight. Get over it.”

She scoffs at this, fighting the urge to yell again knowing his power out matches hers. “A debt is due your grace, an eye for an eye. He is your son!”

“What would you have me do?” He scoffs, “The boy is at dragon stone and he is my grandchild.”

“I dont care!” The queen protests, “You have to do something! Rhaenyra’s son has taken the eye of my own, a punishment is deserved. Someone must be punished!” If the queen had known her lack of precise words would lead to the events that would unfold that night she would never have been so careless.

“Fetch Y/n” is all he mutters and a guard sets of at once, Alicent so caught up in her thoughts not quiet hearing what he had ordered. Its only when a sleepy and confused you is escorted in that her breath quickens.

You stand there rubbing the sleep from your eyes, blinking away exhaustion as your blanket lays draped over your shoulders giving you a slight waddle when you walk.

“What is she-“ Alicent is cut of by the king. “Bring me her eye, a debt is to be payed and she is like a daughter to Rhaenyra. Lets settle this now”

Your heart fills with fear and dread as does Alicent’s as your grabbed by two guards another forcing his knife into your flesh. Alicent screaming protest as she herself is restrained tears falling down her face at your pained crys and shrieks. Your father simply holding his head in his hand as he feels another migraine coming.

“MOMMA PLEASE! IT HURTS MOM PLEASE MOMMY HELP!” you continue to scream and thrash around the knife in your flesh leaving messy cuts until your eye pulls out with a sickening wet pop and you scream loud.

You both released and alicent runs to you scooping you up and rocking you as you cry, hands balling up her dress as a mumbles mantra of “momma” escapes your lips she holds you as the maesters tend to your wounds and give you all the same teas and treatments Aemond had gotten in drifting mark. The king and guards now long gone.

“Im so sorry baby” is all she keeps saying kissing your head and carrying you to her chambers. You spend the night there, tucked into her embrace as she holds you swearing to protect you from this day swearing that one day the king will get what he deserves. And praying to the gods for all her children to be safe.

A/n. So this was part one hope u liked it 😁

[starscream-is-my-wife]

I am constantly rotating your documentary au in my mind it's such a fun idea. Since Ratchet has been assumed to be a teen mom, are the humans also concluding Optimus is the teen dad? Or are they thinking its a "I'm not the step dad, I'm the dad that stepped up" sort of situation? I wonder what sort of further misunderstandings are going to happen with the one sided communication and the assumptions made about our delightful trio and Cybertronians as a whole.

The town is mostly thinking that Orion is around the same age by the way he acts sometimes, even if he's a bit scary, he has a young dad goofiness to him, especally compared to Ratchets grumpyness. Although since the two humans reporting on them are biased and are also young adults, there's probably different rumors about them to other crowds

There's people who thinks Bee was the child of only one of them and the other was like, a coworker or a family friend that got caught in the crash because of how unrelated he looks to the both of them, adoption was also a possibility but Angel and Truck King havent been seen together too much, and when they are only few see it, most people haven't seen them close to each other at all

Generally, everyone thinks that Bee is Ratchets kid and whether OP is biologicaly the dad is in the air, due to Bee and Ratchet seemingly being a lot closer (OP has just been taking up more dangerous construction jobs for a building so Bee hangs out with Ratchet more)

The ones most invested in the bots do think that they're a young family, with such a positive view on them they're also the most ballsy with talking to them, if someone was skeptical they try to avoid them

But after that last interaction with the guy flirting with Angel it definitely solidified that those two are involved at least, now that the 'Angel is a young mom' rumor has been floating around, the people who think that Truck King is not the bio father is wondering 'is there a deadbeat big yellow dad who wasn't treating her right and now good man Truck King has snatched her away? Or is Angel just unfaithful? It looked like Truck King was unaware of her fans and she even fought him so the guy could get away!' Of course nobody would ever bring this up to any of the bots... or their fans

Alot of information comes from Zekes mouth, the big rumors start here because while he doesn't say anything public with none of them there to respect the bots privacy, its also really hard to not tell your other friends about the robots who you get to hang out with as part as your job (park ranger) but now your friends have the perfect combo of vaugeness and details to go wild with rumors.

So while most of the town (at least the younger population) loves the drama, a part still wants some actual evidence that arent from some 19 year olds mouth, like the only seen evidence that the bots are a family before is that "It looks like a man, woman, and child robot"

Zeke also mostly reports on rumors that are notable (or at least he thinks are) so heres some crazy ones:

The robots are government spies that look like a cute family to get our guards down

The bots are actually a cursed family and we're normal people until they angered a wizard

The bots were sent by God as a test for something

The bots are escaped experiments from the Canadian government

Pete is a super villian creating these bots in his basement in preparation for world domination

The bots not only eat energy, but they also eat souls and are marinating us slowly

These damn bots are here stealing our jobs, we gotta deport them back to space before more come

[brucewaynehater101]

Do you think after BruceQuest the bat kids + Oracle and Alfred (maybe or maybe not Batman)

all but blatantly cut contact with the Justice League?

Even if Batman forgives them for leaving him for dead even with all the evidence in front of them, they've still shown themselves wildly unreliable to even their own members

Unless the Justice League forces themselves into a Bat's conflict or other situation or the bats genuinely have no other option

Bats lean towards each other for help, next best thing is Young Justice or other heroes of their generation, and as last resorts, mercenaries or villains, maybe even ex-LOA members

The Justice league (including Batman if he sticks with em) are the last last resort and are the last people to learn of Bat-involved incidents, if at all

Maybe rogues outside of Ra's learns what BruceQuest was, how it ruined Red Robin's reputation irreparably and uses it to annihilate the League's PR by showing the truth to the world?

I know Mr Lex Luthor would lap that shit up

Especially if Batman is still on good terms yet Red Robin is still dealing with the aftermath years later

Everyone is pulling their hair out because Lex is doing an objectively good thing for the wrong reason and when his villainy is toppled again—

Red Robin isn't going to live his life like his repaired reputation is gonna last

Ooh. How would the Bats react to the JL post BruceQuest?

Cass, Steph, Duke, and Jason do not have a relationship or rely on the JL. Jason probably is already upset at the JL for a variety of reasons. All that would change if the batfam is Team Tim would be those batkids being colder to the JL. Maybe they also pull off pranks.

In the end, those Batkids would be the equivalent of hearing your sibling talking about their toxic workplace and hating those fuckers (who you rarely see/interact with) on principle.

For Damian? It's a toss-up. It depends on how he views Tim and the JL. If Damian wants to become Batman, he might see the JL as a necessary step for that. He might need to have several conversations with various family members and his friends (like Colin and Jon) to understand his own position and thoughts on the JL.

For Babs, I hc she helped them a lot with their systems and other work. She probably feels guilty about Tim (not believing/supporting him and his traumatizing trip he did alone). If she was also on Team Tim, she would pass all system management to Vic and maintain a slightly frosty professional distance from them. Her Birds of Prey would become aware that she helps them, but she only assists the JL in dire circumstances.

Dick would have mixed feelings about it. He kind of told other heroes that Tim wasn't to be trusted and that he was having a mental breakdown due to grief. Now, what they did with that information is not Dick's fault. They should have supported the teenager and understood that Dick was also crumbling under his grief/responsibilities. So, Dick feels conflicted. He wants to make it up to Tim, though, and probably maintains a more professional distance from JL.

Alfred is also guilty of not being there for Tim when he needed help and care. However, I like to imagine he makes very pointed comments at JL members when they visit for their direct actions in that situation.

I do think that the batkids join together to mutually say "fuck you" to the JL, but in their own ways.

Batman/Bruce is iffy. On one hand, people like to use the BruceQuest as Bruce's kick in the pants to be a better father. On the other hand, he does his whole Batman Inc shit and is in Gotham less. So, it depends on how you picture him dealing with that trauma and his relationships with his family. If he's doing the less local Batman stuff, then he's probably more with the JL (and thus not on his kids' side).

The Lex Luthor theory you have going on? Brilliant 👏

[hanzajesthanza]

i feel like i just got so used to ciri and how natural ciri and geralt’s relationship left, via being introduced to the witcher via witcher 3, and then reading the middle of the saga before i finished the short stories…

that i never really innately picked up on the fact that ciri turning out to be geralt’s daughter and not his son was… uhm, part of the entire surprise, let’s put it that way :’)

geralt and ciri are just soooo natural as a father and daughter duo that i can’t imagine it any other way, if ciri had been a boy this would have been way less remarkable as a series, there would be no witcher series as we know it. so to me ciri being a girl was the normal and default, expected way things were supposed to go.

even when i read a question of price-sword of destiny-something more for the first times, i was like “ok” when ciri being a girl was a switch of expectations: geralt (and, supposedly, the reader) having expected pavetta to have a son. like… “alright, it’s a girl, so what.”

i had to be informed about how this was an intentional shock… not only because i’m not a parent, but i mean, well, ultrasounds get mixed up all the time, right… it’s not so uncommon to have a kid and be surprised by the gender…

and because of this, i was more inclined to eyeroll at blood of elves being preachy with going over ciri’s biological sex what seemed like ten million times in chapters two and three… what with the whole “daughter has her first period” subplot, ciri upset over her lack of potential strongmanship, and the witchers mostly relying on triss for guidance in raising a girl. the moral being both “just raise her like any other child” and “be sensitive to her needs that you’re blind to…”

although i still think these segments have visibly aged and date the series (not inherently a bad thing, just a quality of it)… they do make more sense when i try to empathize more with the perspective of a new father… who didn’t know he was receiving a girl… who thought she died… who only got her back through a miracle… and having to raise a girl… that’s not a young child anymore, not yet a teen, but is very shortly going to start going through puberty?! it’s like growing up in the desert, just learning what water is, and then getting thrown into the ocean.

because “having to raise a girl” still doesn’t seem that strange to me, but then i remember geralt didn’t see a woman and only had heard about them as a concept until he was an adult (because “warrior-monk” realness), he grew up with a hole in his heart that his absent mother bore, he lives in a highly gendered society, he experiences hostility from everybody of course but especially from women and girls, who take fright at him for… specific reasons explained by the old women in edge of the world…

no, geralt’s not helpless, but i forget, because he acts normal, but… (i mean, although he has issues, he could have really gone off his rocker with regards to women, a little sacrifice confirms this and vilgefortz embodies this) i forget that geralt’s inexperience with women… mostly manifesting in anxiety and both uncertain and impulsive behavior… like ghosting with a nosegay of flowers, the “dear friend” and all… would affect his view of the gender as a whole, including how he sees ciri. and it does.

in his situation, yes, having to raise a girl does intensify the element of “what the fuck am i doing”. especially as a single dad.

and although i do like it when the pov shifts from geralt in the saga but just to another person in the room, for how he becomes more of a distant and enigmatic figure, seeing him through others’ eyes always makes fills me with this uncertainty. buuuut, i would fucking adore blood of elves chapters two and three through geralt’s eyes just for how much of an emotional wreck he must have been… and trying not to show it to her :(

[theweeklydiscourse]

I’m not sure if I was too young to see this but do you think the wish fulfillment narrative prevalent in acotar was also present in twilight? I can see some likening between the two series, some characters in both series being a red flag if you choose to analyze them but at the time it being super thrilling and romantic (don’t get me started on the problematic baby thing going on in both series) plus the whole Team X vs Team Y with the shipwar. I read that series when I was little, Breaking Dawn released when I was 12, and I don’t remember inserting into Bella that much but I remember the insane amount of Team Edward or Team Jacob discourse still I never really cared that much about the series. Maybe I just wasn’t old enough? I remember it had so much hype even amongst peers that weren’t avid readers like I was (I was a nerd that used reading as escapism) I imagine the discourse might have been on the same level, or worse, as acotar had twilight been a thing around this day of media.

Sorry I got carried away, basically, do you think there are similarities between the two? including the wish fulfillment narrative?

Also please ignore me if you don’t really know or care about Twilight, I love your takes and I’m just curious about what you might think on how the world works around two very popular series 😊 thank you for being so kind about my thoughts ❤️

I’m so glad that you like my takes! Thank you for this ask :)

The wish fulfillment narrative of Twilight is arguably one of its most recognizable elements and it provides a useful basis for analyzing what makes it so appealing to readers. On the surface, there is the simple explanation of two powerful supernatural hotties chasing the same (relatively passive) reader-identified character. However, the wish fulfillment narrative runs deeper than that, and engaging with Twilight on that level can allow us to see how ACOTAR bears many similarities to it.

In both series, the heroine’s identification with the masculine allows her to assert power and dominance vicariously while still maintaining her position as the protected party. My understanding of this subject is largely informed by Contrapoints’ video essay “Twilight” which discusses this phenomenon at length. In her essay, Contrapoints engages with the psychological aspects of the wish fulfillment narrative and analyzes the pleasurable elements of the series. In Twilight, Bella achieves this vicarious power through an alignment with a powerful masculine figure who then enables her to become more powerful through a supernatural transformation. Feyre also undergoes a major transformation, but in her case, the pursuit of vicarious power does not end through her union with Tamlin.

The reason why Maas constantly reiterates that Rhysand is the strongest high lord in history is because that’s what makes the notion of his attention so enticing. Feyre becoming the object of his affection and praise is meant to be a testament to her worth and establishes her as someone who can receive power through him. This way, the reader cannot only identify with the heroine, but also with the love interest whose view of the heroine is then looked at by reader. The pleasurable aspect of this dynamic is that the heroine gets to watch herself being looked at and recognize herself as a “sight” for the male love interest. It’s a dynamic that essentially affirms her worth, but in a manner that prevents her from existing as the male love interest does.

With reference to Tamlin, the reason why he is continuously relevant even after the conclusion of his character arc is that his continued self-inflicted isolation and misery affirms Feyre’s power over him. Feyre, the reader-identified character, gets to have it all. She can have a perfect marriage with Rhysand while also being able to enjoy her indirect ownership over Tamlin’s heart even if she no longer desires him. For Twilight, a similar situation occurs when Jacob imprints on Bella and Edward’s daughter and is then shackled to them through a supernatural bond. This way, Jacob stays in Bella’s orbit (albeit in a pretty bizarre way) and she gets to have the best of both worlds: powerful vampire soulmate and a former love interest who remains tethered to her.

Alongside the Contrapoints video, I’d also reccomend this video essay if you want to delve more into this topic. Most of what I’m writing comes from what I’ve learned in those two videos.

[workingonasongbird]

The only way I would accept a book on Finnick's Games is if Tigris was his stylist and it was told from her point of view.

The obvious themes in a book about Finnick would be the exploitation and sexualising of minors & celebrities in the entertainment industry, as well as propaganda (which was heavily discussed in SOTR, but it would be interesting to see it from a Career perspective).

But aside from Finnick's story being very difficult to tell without contributing to the problems it's trying to discuss...

(writing a book about it then leads to a movie, which then leads to people missing the message yet again, and then we get a repeat of the whole 'hot coriolanus' edit situation, only this would be much worse because Finnick's character is a child)

...the problems in question would be very difficult to properly convey and critique from the perspective of the 14 year old boy they were affecting. Partly because once Finnick is in the arena, we'd lose access to the outside world and how other people perceived him because he obviously doesn't know what's happening elsewhere. But also because it's unlikely Finnick understood how the Capitol viewed him until after he won and Snow started selling him.

Of course, he might have some idea. But based of Katniss' revelation when she watched Finnick's propo during Mockingjay, the idea that the victors were being sold in this way simply wouldn't occur to most people in the districts; especially a Career district like 4.

(yes there's the whole argument that 4 is potentially less of a Capitol suck-up than 1 & 2 based on all the rebel stuff, but that's for another day.)

It would be really easy for a young kid like Finnick to put the Capitol's behaviour towards him down to them being Capitol and him just not being used to them, or some other similar reason. So Finnick's lack of awareness or lack of understanding of the situation would make it very difficult to effectively highlight an issue because he might not recognise there was an issue in the first place.

Which begs the question of who would be best to tell Finnick's story. Obviously there's Mags, but while she's a hugely important person in Finnick's life, I don't think her character has ever been set up to discuss Finnick's themes with the audience. But I think that Tigris has.

We know from TBOSAS that she had to sell herself. We know from Mockingjay that she was a stylist around Finnick's Games. We know that she was likely forced to quit being a stylist by Snow (my personal headcanon is that this was because she was Finnick's stylist, and that she challenged Snow directly about forcing Finnick into prositution. There's no way she would ever stand for letting that happen to Finnick (or anyone) let alone any way that she would dress him up for it).

Not only would Tigris have an empathetic, informed, and outraged view on Finnick's treatment that would make it impossible for the audience to miss the points Suzanne was trying to put across in the book, Tigris being Finnick's stylist would give an appropriate and non-sexual reason to discuss Finnick's appearance in order to make the commentary on his exploitation. It would be really weird for a character that isn't on Finnick's prep team/styling team to be narrating a book about sexualising people in media because there's no way to do that without a lot of reference to appearances, clothes, presentation, and whatnot.

Also I just want more Tigris content.

(But also it makes more sense to find out what Tigris was doing between TBOSAS and the trilogy in more detail because she was mentioned in both. There was nothing about Finnick's character in the trilogy that felt like we were being set up for an origin story if that makes sense.)

[cwritesforfun]

Tashi Duncan x Fem!Reader: My Shot

Loosely inspired by My Shot from Hamilton lol (Added a few lyrics in italics)

Y/N = Your First Name & L/N = Your Last Name

* I do not own Challengers characters, plot, etc.

Masterlist

Y/N’s POV

I am not throwin' away my shot

Your eyes scan the list of competitors in this tournament and you read the name, Tashi Duncan.

Tashi Duncan is someone who you've been compared to your whole career and it sucks. You're tired of being told that you are as good of a player as her, but with a different upbringing.

I'ma get a scholarship to King's College I probably shouldn't brag, but dang, I amaze and astonish

You grew up in Louisiana and started playing tennis really young. You loved it, and your parents wanted you to succeed, so they let you take as many lessons and attend as many camps as you needed to improve. You did improve.

You started making waves, and some college tennis recruiters even attended some of your high school matches. You received a full ride to Cornell University to play tennis and pursue a management major in business. It was a dream.

As you competed in college, you would scroll on social media to see who was who in tennis. You kept seeing the name Tashi Duncan. She seemed to have it all. And you wanted it all, too.

Your on-court personality was serious and focused. Whereas your off-court personality was bright and friendly. People were amazed to see how you flipped the switch and turned on your game face each match. It was one of the things that your Coach at Cornell had you teach your teammates. You learned other things from your team, like certain moves and a lot about cooperation.

You were used to winning, but when you lost, you got a real kick out of it. You honestly loved to lose because it helped you grow as a player. However, your Coach and your potential sponsors were worried about the losses. You tried not to let their worries bother you.

The plan is to fan this spark into a flame But damn, it's getting dark, so let me spell out my name

You check into your hotel and notice someone else across the lobby. Your eyes meet hers, and she smirks. Tashi Duncan. You had been playing in similar tournaments, and yet you had never met or played each other. And you really wanted to play her. You wanted to win every match to get to her.

You look away to focus on your manager giving you information.

Upstairs, after you toss your bags inside your room, you take the elevator to the roof. The hotel receptionist said there was a beautiful view. And frankly, what else is there to do but stress before the first match? And maybe watch mediocre home renovation shows?

You lean against the railing and look at the city. It's very pretty. You hear, "You shouldn't be so close to the edge. Someone might push you off the edge." You turn to see Tashi standing there looking at you. You take a step toward her and say, "I think that means that my competition must be really scared to face me if they'd rather face criminal charges than play me... my name is Y/N L/N, by the way." She scoffs and says, "Afraid no, I wish we could skip to the finals where we play each other, Y/N. I know you are. I suppose you also know I'm Tashi." You nod and reply, "I do know you. It's pretty hard to avoid you in the tennis world. You're everywhere." She replies, "It's good to live rent-free in people's minds. That means you're never forgotten, and you get all the attention." You reply, "Careful, Tashi, sometimes having all of the attention is a bad thing." She takes a step closer, smirks, and replies, "Maybe... but I wouldn't mind having all of your attention." You reply, "How very forward of you, Miss Duncan." She places her hands on the railing on either side of you and says, "I think we should kiss. How is that for forward?" You smirk and kiss her. She pulls away and replies, "Mhmm, that was exactly what I needed to send me to sweet dreams." You laugh and walk with her to the elevator.

In your room, you realize what you just did. You just kissed your biggest competition. AH WTH!?!? Why did you do that?

The next day, you eat your hotel breakfast with your manager and you notice Tashi walk in. She winks and waves at you.

You get to the tournament early to practice and then watch some other matches.

At 2 pm, you stretch and place your headphones on. You crank your upbeat hype playlist up and you walk out as you hear through the speakers, "Introducing Louisiana-Born and Cornell Student, Y/N L/N! Eyes are on her as she continues to dominate!"

You play, you win, and you walk back to the locker room.

You grab your clothes and go to the open shower. A hand stops you from closing the door, and you see Tashi standing there, flushed and sweaty. She competed just now, too. She exclaims, "There are no showers left, and I have somewhere to be. Could we just share? I promise no funny business." She holds up a pinky for you to shake and you ask, "Did you win?" She nods and answers, "Duh, did you?" You answer, "Duh, come on in, winner." She smirks and places her stuff next to yours.

You both shower and you feel hands in your hair. You ask, "I thought you said no funny business?" Tashi answers, "I'm just helping you massage your shampoo in and really wash it. It doesn't have to mean anything unless you want it to." Do you? You start rubbing body wash onto her arms, and she asks, "What are you doing?" You smirk and answer, "Just applying your body wash. It doesn't have to mean anything unless you want it to." You flip your eyes to her, and they look like they want to devour you. And they do.

You both leave the shower and then the locker room together. Your Coaches are happy to see you two met and they make you both take a photo together. Tashi whispers in your ear, "Smile, or I tell them we just fu**ed." You were going to smile anyway. You smile widely, wrap an arm around her, and you both pose.

You win your next match. Tashi wins her next match. She does the whole "no shower left" thing again... you don't know if she's lying, but you don't care. It's easy. The next day, Tashi doesn't compete at the same time as you, so you're able to catch the first half of her match. She notices you at the half causing her to send you a wave. You realize as she plays that you’re going to have to give it your all to beat her. She’s smart and dangerously quick on her toes.

You go to your match. You win. You leave for your match and as you shake hands with people after your win, you see Tashi. She waves and you hold your hand out. You smirk and say, "Thanks for coming." She smirks and replies, "I could say the same to you."

No Tashi in the shower makes you go faster because you never really wanted to linger here anyway.

You exit the locker room to see your manager, your Coach, Tashi, Tashi's Coach, and Tashi's manager all standing there talking. What is going on? And what has Tashi said so far?

Your Coach sees you approach and exclaims, "Oh Y/N, so glad you're here now. Tashi and her team want to take us out to dinner." OH. You reply, "That sounds great, I cannot wait."

You arrive to a fancy vegetarian restaurant and you follow Tashi's team inside.

Tashi slides into the chair next to you and whispers in your ear, "I figured this was the best way to take you to dinner." You whisper back, "Why do I need dinner? When you're a whole snack." She whispers back, "A whole snack, no. I'm a whole damn dessert."

As you eat, both of your teams ask how you two met and you tell them about the railing conversation minus the kissing. Tashi goes on to tell them that you both debrief matches in the locker room as you both get ready... you could tell she wanted to say more about what was happening between the two of you.

You get Tashi's number. Finally. She immediately texts you asking for your room number, which you gladly send her.

Tashi arrives at your door clearly in pajamas and she strolls right past you into the room. She jumps on the bed and you lay next to her. You ask, "To what do I owe the pleasure?" She answers, "I just feel like we've been doing a lot of kissing and not talking. I want to know more about you." You reply, "Sure, we can talk. I guess, what's your favorite color?" She answers, "For the media, I say red because of Stanford. But really, I like muted tones and the color white. The color white represents cleanliness and a fresh start to me. If I wear white, it helps me think of each match as something new and different. It keeps me on track. Now, my question is, what part of the human face is your favorite?" You answer, "I like people's eyes the most. You can tell a lot about people's feelings with their eyes. But also, I love seeing how everyone's eyes are all different shades of blues and browns and greens. It's truly beautiful." She asks, "And what do you think of my eyes?" You stare closely into hers and say, "Your eyes are like gingerbread, spicy and sweet and hard to crack." She smiles and you both continue talking.

Tashi leaves your room quite late, but not before she says, "Promise me that no matter the outcome of the match tomorrow, we can remain friends... or something more." You reply, "Of course."

The next day, you make sure everything you do is the right way that will make you win. You eat the right foods, exercise all the right ways, and focus on the game play.

I am not throwin' away my shot

Your match with Tashi is next... you walk out and are greeted with tons of cheers. Tashi walks out and hers are louder. You look away from her before she notices and you focus on how you can win.

You slide off your headphones at the right time, place them in your bag, and stand up. The announcer says, "This is the highly anticipated finals of the tournament! The one you've all been waiting for! Will Tashi Duncan continue her reign as tennis champion or does her rival, Y/N L/N have what it takes to take her down?" You both stroll onto the court and shake hands, and Tashi wins the coin flip to start the match with the ball.

You're up 2 points by half. It's not going to last. You're not going to last. You're tired. You've been putting 100% into this match and the rest of this tournament, you've been winning at 50% power. But to win, you need to put in 110% of the effort. Can you?

I am not throwin' away my shot

The match ends with Tashi winning by 10 points. Everyone cheers, and you walk over to shake her hand. She takes your hand and says, "Good game, Y/N." You reply, "Good game, Tashi. You deserve it." She replies, "You played one of the best games of tennis I've been able to play in years. And frankly, love, I'm used to winning and I'd like to win one more thing - you." You smirk and reply, "You already won me on the roof." She pulls you into a kiss in front of everyone at the tournament.

Masterlist

[fablesuntold]

@musingmemories sent: ²⁵⁾ a kitchen counter whilst dinner’s being made — in hiding!James Potter x Lily Potter

Five months. Five whole months since Albus Dumbledore’s hasty warning to lay low with only the bare minimum information offered which had tilted James’ world on its axis. ‘You’re in grave danger, James. You and Lily both.’ How those few simple words haunted him , kept him awake at night when he should have been off on another wonderful adventure— honeymooning and planning out his future with his newlywed wife.

Instead, here they were.. forced into hiding and unwillingly putting their future on hold— all the joy of their wedding day and a glorious ceremony long gone and replaced by a sense of dread. Weeks turned into months, Autumn giving way to the bitter Winter ahead, the merciless storms rolling in and out only making the months spent in solitary confinement all the more miserable for both Potters. Hidden away in plain sight from the rest of the world under the Fidelius Charm, one should have felt content to close their eyes and feel somewhat safe and sound at night, right? Wrong. While Godric's Hollow wasn’t at all that bad and seemed like a peaceful little village where both wizards and muggles lived in harmony? That overhanging shadow of doubt still nagged away in the back of his head. Every little thump! or unanticipated creak in the night roused him awake, hand reaching for his wand at the ready on the nightstand. Forever ready to protect himself and Lily. Not to mention the churning in the pit of his stomach that always prompted him to look over his shoulder; always looking out for danger. What sort of danger? James wasn’t exactly sure.

All he knew was that if Dumbledore feared for both his and Lily’s safety? Then whatever this was must have been serious. This wasn’t how James had foreseen his future panning out. In a way, he guessed he’d gotten what he wanted; Lily all to himself— their whirlwind romance transpiring faster than both of them had expected— married, the second they’d turned eighteen and nobody could protest that they were far too young to be thinking about forever. But they were happy together. Were, until this.

However, not all was doom and gloom in their lives. As of recently, two quickly became three with Lily falling pregnant soon after their wedding night. James was ecstatic to say the least— even more so when their little bundle of joy arrived in the form of a baby boy whom they’d named Harry James Potter, unplanned given the circumstances of their on the run living situation, but a happy accident nonetheless. Already at just three weeks old, Harry had quickly become the centre of James’ world. The splitting image of his father but with his mother’s beautiful eyes. James could barely tear his gaze away from the sleeping infant as he carefully rocked him in his arms. Fatherhood wasn’t something he’d been prepared for at such a young age, and yet.. he’d surprised even himself at how naturally it had come to him. Who would’ve thought the once ‘self indulged prat James Potter’ would ever amount to this?

Smiling to himself, James placed a tender kiss to Harry’s forehead. “Let’s go find mommy, hm?” A soft murmur accompanied by a soothing hand combing through the thick tufts of his son’s unkept hair, James carefully rested Harry’s head against his shoulder and made his way into the living room area where the delicious aroma of whatever concoction Lily had been working on filled the space leading to the kitchen.

James wasn’t at all surprised with the sight he was met with when finally rounding the corner though; Lily perched upon the usual countertop that held the best view of the street, pensive stare transfixed out of the window with the usual far off unease darkening those spring coloured orbs. And of course, her wand was within reach right next to her. Keeping look out. That seemed to be their lives now. James was growing tired of it, brow creasing in concern. “..You know staring out of that same window every evening will only drive you mad, don’t you?” Crossing the small space between them, James wrapped his free arm around his wife’s waist and settled his chin on her shoulder, lips finding the spot between her neck and shoulder to place a soft kiss to her skin in hopes to distract and gain her focus.

“How long have you been sitting there..?”

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Finally home after a long day of bullshit and laying in bed with wifey watching cody's showdy, and thinking about the line from Kenji that goes

"They gave Ken a couple of days to get his whole life packed in two bags. Just two bags, he couldn't even pack his clothes. And some folks didn't even have a suitcase to pack anything in, so two trash bags is all they gave them. And when the kids asked mom, "Where are we going?" Nobody even knew what to say to them."

The song itself is the story of the Japanese people who were interned in Manzanar, and the Jews who were interned in Germany. But it's also very explicitly about ANYONE who is made to suffer the pain and terror of being forced from your home with little to no hope of return or repair. "The names have been changed, but the story's true, my family was locked up back in '42."

This is a story about Palestine. This is a story about the California Wildfires. This is a story about Hurricane Helene. This is a story about COVID.

The county where I grew up was small, rural, and utterly without infrastructure. It's mostly dairy land, and I used to stick my head out the window and moo at the cattle when my mother srove her shitty little sedan down the highway to visit my aunt. In the 15 years since I left it has swelled by 2000 new souls, largely due to the reputation it earned over the years for having accissble and quality educational options for young children, a rarity in the state.

I started making this post an hour ago, and was looking for a way to check on my home town during the fires. I figured it would likely be safe given its location, but I wanted to know for sure. For an hour I searched for news, for an accessible map documenting the wildfires. For anything that would tell me whether or not the place I grew up was still intact.

I still don't know. I'm sure the information exists. But I am usually able to at least find SOMETHING in the span of an hour.

Information everywhere, but nothing that allows you to stop feeling afraid. Fear, pervasive and bone-chilling, is everywhere and safety feels scarcer with every passing day.

But is it?

This is a story about intergenerational trauma.

My grandmother ran home from her babysitting job one day, at 15 years old, sobbing and distrought, and told her mother what her charge's father had done. Her mother got her cleaned up and told her to never tell anyone what had happened ever again, and quietly informed the other mother that my grandmother would not be back.

When my mother was 15, she fell off a swing set while goofing off with her sisters. My grandfather told her she deserved the pain for her stupidity and not to cry to him about it since she could have been responsible. My grandmother told her that at least now they had an excuse to fix that ugly nose of hers as she iced her daughter's face, and brought her to the hospital right away.

When I was 15 years old, my mother had moved me across the country to a place where I knew nobody, where the sun never shone, where there was more snowy swamp than serene desert, and I screamed at her that she was taking me from the one place I'd ever been happy and she told me that I'd just have to get over it. I flipped her off, and she slapped me across the face hard enough to make the room spin around me.

When a parent loves their child through the lens of their own fear, they often raise an adult who has endured fear of their own from which to view the world. This is, perhaps, as inevitable as entropy and life itself. And the detail perhaps still influences how that plays out.

I cannot watch the news footage about the California Wildfires because I can smell the ash and feel my lungs tighten and sear around non-existent superheated smoke every time I do. No one ever forgets what that's like. But finding clear information about the realistic risk of my childhood home without 24hr news is difficult enough that as a professional information finder, I was unable succeed. My grandmother was, briefly, a social worker. She got into the job by accident, as is the way of things in my family, and rapidly became a small town folk hero to the community who could count on her to advocate for them. This did not change how she came home to her daughters. It did not change the fear she inflicted on the world around her as an outcome of her own terror. My mother managed the same level of (in)famous community notoriety because of her militant advocacy for same sex civil rights and prison abolition. It took me years to come to grips with what it could mean that I didn't believe queer parents should be treated as inherently abusive to their children while I **did** believe that my mother was abusive and wished someone would save me.

This is a story about breaking cycles.

Today, a man with power over me saw me vulnerable and afraid, and went out of his way to treat me with contempt and use his power to block me from receiving essential care. My wife got me through this experience and left me in the hands of the nursing staff while she helped a man get home from the hospital in the blizzard. When she was gone, the man returned twice more to take advantage of her absence to humiliate me and work to convince others to deny me medical care. When my wife returned, I had been shuffled out of sight, and while tests had been run, I had just been told I would be released with no treatment or symptom management. I updated my wife on the events of her absence, and watched her go very still as I whispered my way through my hurt feelings. When the nurse returned with my discharge paperwork, my wife stopped her and very gently asked "Is it common for doctors in this hospital to belittle patients out loud in the middle of the floor?" The nurse froze. My wife assured her she had been kind, but that it concerned her to hear of this upon return. The nurse immediately relaxed, assured us she would say something, and brought me a wheelchair to help me to the car. This was the most medical intervention offered to me the whole process.

My wife speaks often about how her understanding of conflict resolution began when a delegation of teenage Palestinian children arrived at her school to meet with their same-age peers. She says that sat and talked together for hours the way 15 year olds do, and then finally one of the visiting teens got up the courage to ask "why do your people cheer for our deaths?" My wife has her own focus within this story, but when she tells it I always hear the forlorn meowing of a cat whose home had burned during fire season the month before, finally back after fleeing the inferno to find their people, but there was no house to find the people in.

Fear is everywhere. That will always be true. So fill the world with community and love. Let the world heal over the generations of human life. Be there for each other in ways big and small. And remember that everywhere, we are all human beings doing our best to survive a world that has always been bigger than us. Whether we want to admit it or not.

[myemuisemo]

What pleasantly stands out for me in the next part of Letters from Watson -- the one where Holmes goes off to a violin concert and also acts on some of his suspicions to see if he can get some new information (so stop right here if you haven't read it yet!) -- is the lack of moral disapproval in Holmes' reaction when his ability to spot tells of character and history is utterly thwarted at a key moment.

“Old woman be damned!” said Sherlock Holmes, sharply. “We were the old women to be so taken in. It must have been a young man, and an active one, too, besides being an incomparable actor. The get-up was inimitable. He saw that he was followed, no doubt, and used this means of giving me the slip. It shows that the man we are after is not as lonely as I imagined he was, but has friends who are ready to risk something for him. 

Holmes is irritated that someone out-smarted him, but what he isn't is morally shocked in any way. If anything, he's admiring of the hypothetical young man's skill.

Since Holmes knows every criminal scandal (as established some letters ago), he would absolutely have followed the 1871 trial of Boulton and Park, a pair of AMAB actors who habitually went out on the town dressed as women (and also had a wildly popular stage act dressed as women), and who were arrested along with some friends for "public indecency" (a misdemeanor). They were ultimately tried on the more serious charge of sodomy, since in the eyes of law and society, they were gay men interested in intimacies with men. The trial was a huge spectacle which, in a weird moment of aptness, was presided over by a Judge Cockburn.

According to this article by The History Collection, the prosecution got all fired up about their view of the defendants' lifestyles but was light on evidence. Boulton's mother, meanwhile, testified so calmly about how everyone knew about her offspring's ways that the prosecution's claims seemed overwrought. Boulton and Park were acquitted. Fanny Park moved to the U.S., while Stella Boulton went on tour as a female impersonator.

The trial record is a tangle of crossed-out pronouns, according to the blog of the UK National Archives, citing a somewhat fictionalized biography by Neil McKenna.

Newspaper reporters, court spectators and the clerks were all unsure of how to refer to Fanny and Stella. As Neil McKenna observes, the trial transcripts are littered ‘with crossings-out and corrections, turning ‘he’s’ into ‘she’s’ – and vice versa’. For some, the duo’s identities were baffling. Others found them to be an entertaining spectacle, which helped after the trial as the two began to tour Britain once more as a theatrical act. But of course there were those that were more hostile and less accepting, evident in the change of law some 15 years later.

The change of law was the Labouchere Amendment, section 11 of the Criminal Law Amendment Act of 1885, which passed the year before Doyle wrote this story. The main CLAA was intended to protect women -- it raised the age of consent from 13 to 16 and addressed various sexual offenses against women. The whole story of how Henry Labouchere rammed through his amendment that made it possible to go after gay persons for "gross indecency" when there was insufficient evidence for sodomy -- a law then used to persecute gay men horribly -- is so odd that you may as well go to Wikipedia and read it yourself.

It's at this time of homophobic hysteria that Holmes is entirely calm and accepting that an AMAB person can do a great job of presenting as a woman. This is an era when writers of popular literature did not hesitate to pause for a few paragraphs of moral edification. Yet Holmes and Watson are entirely blasé -- at minimum, they're men of the world who've seen drag acts at the Strand Theatre and think nothing of it beyond whether the act achieves its artistic purpose.

[invinciblerodent]

sorry i'm so deep in the Veilguard-planning mindset but I just thought of how it's kind of wild that my Rook and my Inquisitor are going to be roughly the same age during the game, but at DRAMATICALLY different points in their lives.

Ray went through hell when he was only 24, going straight from the silver spoon in his mouth to being the head of an international paramilitary organization. In just 2-3 years, he saved the world from the biggest threat they could conceive of at the time, fought dragons, traveled and fought his way through the bulk of Southern Thedas, radicalized irreversibly in his views, found the love of his life, had his whole "hero's journey", and speedran more fucked up experiences than most have in an entire lifetime.

Ten years later, at 35-ish, he's still by all means a traditionally handsome, young nobleman, but he's more or less retired, happily married to an up-and-coming Magister, quite wealthy (comes with having amassed huge piles of gold as an adventurer and being friends with the Montilyets), adjusted to the loss of his arm, and he's basically a living legend with many friends in high places, including one of the longest living leaders of the Grey Wardens (unless they kill Alistair off-screen which I don't think they'll do), the viscount of Kirkwall, the head of the Seekers of Truth, and the fucking Divine, whose election he most definitely had a hand in. Even without the Inquisition forces backing him up, that man could still conquer most of Southern Thedas within a year just by looking vaguely South, if he wanted.

Whereas Verbena is going to be like 32-ish from the start, and my plans for her include her working as the Shadow Dragons' "boots on the ground" kind of double agent and a rent-a-cop as a cover story, being single and broke, and having just a handful of kinda shitty, shifty "I know a guy" kind of friends where you're really not supposed to think too hard about how she even knows them.

Considering my little headcanon that the human Rook should be vaguely related to house Trevelyan, I really kind of like the thought of Ver's mom being not just of a very proud and kind of snooty person, but also being sort of distant cousins with Bann Trevelyan, Ray's dad.

That would mean that there was a really shitty stretch of time in Ver's life when she was just finding her footing in life as a young adult, living on her own for the first time, and yet she was being constantly compared to her cousin, the fucking Inquisitor, every time she visited home- and she couldn't even brag about her Shadow Dragon work, because that shit is top secret, and her mom keeps secrets about as well as a sieve holds water.

So the conversations with Mama Rook around that time went mostly like,

"Oh, Verbena, dear, did you hear that your cousin Raymond defeated three high dragons in Orlais the other week?"

".... Wh. What do you want me to do with that information, ma?"

"Nothing, nothing, I just thought it was interesting! What have you been up to lately, bunny?"

"......Well, I, uh.... I hung up those new shelves I've been meaning to...?"

"Ah, that's.... great. Still doing those guard jobs?

"Yeah, I'm... I'm still just doing those guard jobs at the moment, nothing... nothing else."

"Ah. Well, do you have a suitor yet?"

..... and then Ver scurries to the other room to play Diamondback with her dad to escape the conversation, because no she fucking doesn't have a fucking suitor, ma, and by Andraste's flaming fucking tits, please stop asking that.

(what do you mean our characters are a reflection of our own internalized issues. what do you mean all of mine are somehow disappointments to themselves and have betrayed their potential. what, noooo, how would that be possible.)

[dirtyvulture]

😎 So to add on some of my thoughts on the last post , especially the ones regarding R and just going for it with the women of the time while Esther didn’t. And I will add on a bit more on the whole Esther Hudson and Natasha Romanoff looking STRIKINGLY SIMILAR. I will have a whole separate post for the thoughts I put a pin in for the Sergeant Beef AU.

I think that when R was younger and before Her mutation hit she believed in god and was a christen like the rest of her family and most people who lived in that time period. She prayed and believed in Angels and Devils…. In a way R still does . When R’s mutation hit it really struck her ( or she really did believe) that this was a punishment from god , because R had acted in wrath and killed a man . Not only that but R herself ( she had really sat with this information after killing Thomas Logan that she learned that he was her biological father. That would give anyone ✨Daddy Issues ✨ so not only does R have Mommy issues but both Mommy and Daddy Issues) was the byproduct of an affair that broke the vows of marriage between a man and wife so that in and of itself self is grounds for punishment . R wasn’t even going to touch on the weird feelings she gets with when one of the pretty girls in the high society that R sees when their fathers brought them for when papa was discussing business with his business partners or at parties laughing and smiling at her ( real and genuine laughter and smiling) . A feeling that young R couldn’t name . R had stumbled into an old church still in her bloodied nightgown and still very much covered in the dried blood of the man she killed kneeling in front of the sanctuary with  Clasped bloody hands praying and begging for mercy and forgiveness. 

To R it made sense of how the once sweet, gentle and even tempered albeit sickly/ frail girl she was is now gone and a now was left with only an animalistic rage , senses that was now overwhelming her , these ……. THINGS coming out of her hands . She was fallen no longer her papa’s angel ( something John called her along with bird or little song bird) or the angel both her parents wanted her to be….. maybe she never was . She is like the devil who was once gods favorite angel before falling , she is now a demon or a beast. ( Baby girl had no idea that it was a mutation or that mutants existed 🥺😭)

So R decided when she got older that since she was all ready fallen might as well have fun with it and enjoy all the wicked and sinful debauchery that a being a fallen angel would have. If R was fallen then she will be THE FALLEN. That is why it was kinda funny to R when she learned that some people called her a guardian angel amongst all the other things that she was called when people tried to figure out what R was in the world wars . She always said that she was no angel but if she was anything she would be a “guardian devil” . R full heartily believed that Esther Hudson was an angel made flesh when she first saw her and when she got to know Esther she was convinced that R had meet an angel in person. When Esther died ….. it was the same situation as old Peggy and Cap ( minus the Alzheimer’s, Esther was sharp as a tack until the day she died….. because that scene really hurt and we are just not doing that ok ) , R would visit but like cap R found out over text . R backed out and then the next thing she knew she was kneeling in front of a catholic sanctuary and still covered in blood but this time didn’t have her hands clasped or was praying. She just stared blankly ahead with her arms / hands to her side and this is when she understood. This was her true punishment…. To have all of her angels taken away ( because she does love and view the Hudson clan and Esther as her angels. And everyone else Wolvie loves/ loved) and her being stuck in this purgatory of existence. * que the audio of “ What if I can’t get in ? How will I see you again?” * but R already knew ( or believes ) even if or when her existence comes to an end she isn’t getting in the pearly gates….. she isn’t going to see them again. Losing Esther Hudson was worse then all of the pain of R’s previous “ deaths” or physical injuries and R knows that losing her other angels will hurt just as much .

On a much lighter image. I love the idea that R was just laying there pretending to be asleep (because Nat refused to sleep until R did and R just wanted Nat to Sleep because Nat needed it ) while Nat was squeezing R’s arms or legs and in R’s head she is just like “ what the fuck ?!??! Are you having fun there ?”😂😂😂

Now on to answering some questions.

No I wasn’t implying that the kid with the knife was our Natasha Romanoff. Remember I said that R met the kid in one of her wars ( probably WW1 or 2 ) and that the kid was protecting her younger siblings . That kid and Nat just happened to share a first name and both happened to be European .

R didn’t see or recover the love letters in Esther’s life time and never knew that she loved R too ( Romantically , she knew Esther loved her but R always thought it was just platonic) . The letters could hav been recovered later on by some Hudson family members but they had no way of sending them to R because she fell off the face of the earth to them and R doesn’t remember them anymore ( or even Esther because the weapon x disaster robbed her of her memory of Esther. But not completely …… if anyone knows Percy Jackson it is a Percy remembering Annabeth after Hera takes his  memory situation . In after R woke up with no memories all she remembers is a name and vaguely a face but clearly Red hair and green eyes .)

This is a short post but it is late for me and I am not feeling the best ( I am prone to headaches and migraines and I have a headache) so I will do a part two of this post tomorrow morning when I wake up . It will cover SergeantBeef expanding /  additional thoughts and the thoughts on how the Hudson family members reacted to finding the box of Esther’s true feelings about the family wolverine. I promise that these thoughts are happy… happier than the ones up above. I also will add the whole Esther and Natasha looking similar next time as I just realized I didn’t get to that point as I started to feel really bad and tried so next time I promise.

Good night everyone I am going to sleep 💤

Have a good night, anon!

Do you think Esther Hudson and Nat have some kind of lineage that could be traced back? I know Nat was born in Russia, but maybe Esther's heritage had some origins in Russia as well before her family moved to America.

Young R must have felt so alone when her mutation first activated, especially like you said where it was not a commonly known (or accepted) thing. She probably thought was the only one of her kind for decades.

Esther was probably one of the first people who genuinely saw good and kindness in R too, even under all the layers of trauma. So even when R shied away from Esther at first and tried to convince her that she was dangerous and unworthy of love, Esther told her to shut up and hugged her until R was begging her to let go ❤️ (although R would eventually come around and be very happy with Esther's touch).

Not R getting news that Esther died over text 😭 It wasn't until I got older that I realized how dirty they did Cap with that.

Nat just casually feeling R up, thinking that R is asleep when in fact R is lying there fully aware and just 👁👄👁

Okay, that makes more sense thanks for the clarification!

I'm sure the surviving Hudson members are still searching for R. 🥺 Perhaps they get a big hint when they hear about some men who tried to break into a cabin in Canada, only for them to be "viciously mauled to death" by a creature with very sharp claws. 😉 So at least they know Wolvie is around and kicking (and slashing).

No rush to hear from you! I eagerly await any Sergeant Beef ideas and more on Wolvie!R. And yes, we definitely need more happy thoughts for both series. :)

[izzysarchivedblogs]

 💭tigra: motherhood  💭pepper: superheroics

𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓸𝓷𝓼 — send 💭 + a topic to receive a headcanon about said topic. -> ACCEPTING // we are gonna split this up cause it's long for pepper, and cause greer will have content warnings

SUPER HEROICS -> PEPPER'S VIEW ON THEM

Let's take a walk back in time to a young, twenty-two year old Pepper graduated from college, already having been working at Stark Industries, and now working directly for Tony Stark. Before we start there, we start removed from superheroics; existing in reality yes, but only impacting her own life through the papers, the news, tv and radio. A topic that comes up in conversation here and there. First, Pepper sees superheroics as something amazing. She liked superheroes, and respected superheroics; but it still felt like something that was outside of her sphere of existence. A rather neutral take to have.

When she starts working for Stark Industries, that is where Pepper is drawn in a little more closer with Tony Stark's bodyguard, Iron Man, and first? Sometimes, it terrified her. Iron Man brought into her world troubles she had never had, but there was still something she liked and than she would see how Iron Man would save the day, would save her save her boss, Mr. Stark. Tony Stark and Iron Man brought into her world troubles she may have never faced, but superheroics still amazed her and it was kind of exciting.

For a long while, that's how it was a little scary, but thrilling and than she learns that Tony Stark and Iron Man are one. It adds a lot of context to everything, but it does draw her and Happy in too close. When Happy start wearing the suit for Tony sometimes, that is when Pepper starts to have the conflicting thought of superheroics is exciting and wow, she's involved in this in a small way, to this is dangerous and get superheroes out of her life.

That is where Pepper sits for a long time of her life, but there those moments that draw her in closer to superheroics, when Tony start to rely on calling her for information, for tactical aid while he's in the stupid. It's big and exciting, more than herself and makes her feel like she mattered, like she was doing good as well, helping out. Trying to not let it consume her, or fly too close to the sun and get too involved, because it is dangerous and going to ruin her life like she has seen it ruin Tony's and seen it kill her husband.

Yet, I think it is at Happy's death that she knows she is in too deep to be removed from superheroics; it's simply a part of her. She's got more than her foot in the game with superheroes. That will go in with her feeling of when she accepts the position of Hera for The Order, she's already in the game; she's lost Happy and she's by on the sidelines of the whole Civil War, and she knows that Tony needs someone he can trust to be there, to start this; she does The Order, she's been Tony's girl in the chair before and now she's got a team.

THEN THERE'S HER RT NODE, HER SUIT, and now she really is in too deep; wants to be in this deep and she's a hero. She's her own superhero too. BEING RESCUE? Being her own superhero, that's incredible and way past the going back point, she'll always have that itch now like "i could put my suit on, i could help people too; i feel incredible when I fly her"

There is this jaded-ness that grows, that clings to her because of what she has lost, because there's no going back. She distances herself from superheroics as much as she can so she can live out her whole life; but her feelings on superheroics is a mixed bag.

She'll warn younger heroes about it, but she won't stop anyone because look at here; she's got her heels digged deep into this game. Yet it does not come without it's pain and salt in the wound.

AND CIRCLING OVER TO MAKE A SHORT POINT ON THE AVENGERS. When the Avengers start, she thinks its incredible and thrilling; and she has a soft spot for the avengers; they are her heroes, and she admires the many avengers that she has come to know. Like she loves Captain America, and Steve Rogers, he's a goddamn superhero that she respects a lot.

Pepper's view of superheroics is now seen as a tragedy, but something that once you are in; you are in. You are a superhero, and you have to chose it and that is your life, and it's sad but you do good, and you do incredible things. So there's that. :)

SHE'S JADED , YET SUPERHEROICS IS STILL THE MOST INCREDIBLE THING ONE COULD DO; BUT IT COMES AT THE PRICE OF PAIN

It comes at the forfeit of a normal life, of settling down.