#her and gus are both coping in similar ways

[marsplastic13]

'Complicated' (Part 2) - Kaz Brekker x reader

Idea - Kaz Brekker hires a prostitute to overcome his touch aversion, and be a better man for Inej, but things take an unxepected turn.

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Prostitute!Reader, (had to use y/n because I'm bad at names)

Genre: modern AU, slow burn

word count: 5.5k

notes: please let me know what you think <3

Finally, a couple of days later, Inej arrived in Ketterdam. Kaz waited for her at the harbor, hoping she would throw herself into his arms and that he could finally hug her tightly. Instead, their greetings were far more reserved, though her wide smile still managed to warm him up in seconds.

She had many people to see, so they didn’t have the chance to be alone until late at night. When they finally had a moment together, they settled on his couch to watch a movie. Kaz desperately wanted to show her the progress he had made, but he felt a familiar sense of hesitation.

After battling with himself, he finally removed his gloves, meeting her surprised gaze as he slowly reached for her hand. Inej's eyes lit up, and Kaz couldn't suppress a small, satisfied smile.

During those days, they managed to stay closer than they had ever been before. Inej divided her time between her place and his, and their evenings together became a cherished routine.

One night, they watched the Masterchef finale on his bed. Inej lay with her head in his lap, and Kaz gently caressed her hair. y/n had been right— Inej was loving it. Kaz didn’t think much about y/n, except occasionally when he caught her Instagram stories. He had considered writing to her to comment on the winner of the cooking competition, as they had both been rooting for the same contestant. Kaz had his phone in his hand, while the other was scratching Inej’s head. She made a satisfied hum, closing her eyes, distracting Kaz from his thoughts about y/n. He tossed the phone away, focusing entirely on Inej.

A few days later, Kaz received a notification of a picture from y/n. It was a photo of different shades of nail polishes. He chuckled, circled the one he liked, and sent the picture back. “What’s that smile?” Inej asked, surprised, from the other side of the table where they were having lunch.

“Jesper sent a stupid thing,” Kaz lied effortlessly, though not without a pang of guilt. He felt a momentary sense of relief that Inej hadn't probed further, but the guilt lingered, gnawing at the edges of his contentment.

Kaz couldn't escape the irony of his situation. Here he was, trying to overcome his touch aversion with a prostitute, someone paid to be physically close to him, while desperately wanting to be intimate with Inej, who was going around the world saving girls from being sold as prostitutes. The contradiction gnawed at him, twisting his gut every time he thought about it. How could he reconcile these two opposing realities?

Inej had dedicated her life to freeing those trapped in the same circumstances that had led Kaz to y/n. She was a beacon of hope, a relentless force for good, while Kaz's actions seemed to undercut everything she stood for. The more he pondered this, the deeper his guilt grew. It wasn't just about the physical interactions with y/n; it was about what those interactions represented. He was using someone else to cope with his trauma, someone who might have been in a position similar to the girls Inej fought so hard to save.

Kaz found himself replaying his conversations with y/n. She had been understanding, patient, even kind. They had laughed together, and she had helped him in ways he hadn't thought possible. Yet every time he saw Inej's face, radiant with purpose and conviction, he felt like a fraud. How could he face her, knowing the truth?

***

Inej found out about the chocolate and wine tasting thing and thought it would be hilarious to go to make fun of the people there. They were enjoying the experience, their laughter a shared secret, when he spotted y/n entering the restaurant, her arm wrapped around a guy. It was the same guy from the club—the one she had said she stopped seeing because they weren't compatible.

As she scanned the room, y/n's eyes locked with Kaz's. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, hoping she wouldn’t approach. But she did, her face a mix of shock and recognition. She made her way to their table, her expression quickly morphing into an enthusiastic smile.

"I'm so sorry to bother you, I'm such a fan! I watch all of your TikToks," she said to Inej, her voice bright and sincere.

Inej stood up, her smile as warm as ever. "Thank you! It's always nice to meet a fan," she replied, extending her hand.

They chatted for a bit, with y/n telling Inej how her videos had inspired her to take up pilates, which was only half-true. y/n had actually taken up the sport because, as she had once humorously told Kaz, a client had requested an intricate position, that she accurately acted out for him, that resulted in her pulling a few muscles, forcing her to stay in bed for days.

"Can you take a picture of us?" y/n asked, handing her phone to Kaz. His heart pounded as he took the phone, trying to maintain a neutral expression. As he snapped the photo, his eyes fell on y/n’s hand resting on Inej’s shoulder, her nails painted the color he had chosen. It took all his self-control not to react.

"There you are, always running around with this one," said the guy, approaching them and wrapping his arm around y/n’s waist. "Baby, that's Inej Ghafa!"

"Oh right, the girl you yap about all day?" he laughed, pulling her close.

"I don't yap," she pouted playfully.

"Sure you don't," he said, kissing her pout.

Kaz couldn’t figure out what he was feeling. He wondered how much time they were spending together and didn't like how carelessly the guy was able to kiss her. He wondered if she still tasted like cherries.

"I'm sorry for the interruption," y/n said, pulling away from the kiss. "It was really nice to meet you, Inej."

They walked back to their table, the guy's hand slipping from her waist to rest on her ass, guiding her to her seat. Kaz's jaw tightened, and he forced himself to look away. The rest of the evening was uneventful, and fortunately, y/n and her companion were out of his sight.

As Kaz and Inej returned to their conversation, his thoughts kept drifting back to y/n. The guilt gnawed at him, and he couldn't help but wonder how Inej would react if she knew the truth. Would she understand his reasons, or would she see it as a betrayal? The irony of his situation was inescapable—trying to overcome his touch aversion with a prostitute, while being with someone who fought against the very thing he was exploiting.

***

A few days later, Inej had to leave again, promising to return in a few months. Kaz stood at the harbor, watching her ship prepare to depart. He managed to brush his lips against hers for the briefest moment, and she smiled widely at him, her eyes full of warmth and promise. That smile stayed with him, a bittersweet memory as he watched the ship sail away.

Each time Inej left, Kaz felt an embarrassingly deep sense of loss, a hollowness that settled in his chest. Jesper, ever the loyal friend, had to break into his house just to convince him to show up at work. It had become a routine, a cycle of anticipation, brief happiness, and then the inevitable slump into solitude.

During the weeks Inej had been with him, Kaz had experienced a closeness he hadn't thought possible. They had shared quiet moments on his couch, watched movies, and even engaged in playful banter about the contestants on Masterchef. It was during those moments, when he held her hand without gloves or caressed her hair as she rested her head in his lap, that he realized just how far he had come. But it also made him think about all the things he still wanted to try, the progress he wanted to make.

The weeks with Inej had stirred something in him, a desire to push further, to explore more. He wanted to test the boundaries of his progress, to see if he could translate the tentative intimacy he had shared with Inej into something more confident. So, he decided to book y/n for the first free time she had.

***

“Hello, lovebird,” she smirked as she opened the door, making him enter her room. “How was girlfriend-time?”

Kaz rolled his eyes at the nickname but couldn't help the small smile tugging at his lips. “Fine.”

“Anything interesting to tell?” she asked, sitting on the bed and patting the space next to her. Kaz hesitated for a moment before joining her.

“Well, uh, I held her hand, scratched her head like you suggested, thanks for that. And we kissed.” He felt a bit guilty discussing these intimate moments so casually, as if they were just part of his homework.

Her eyes sparkled with intrigue. “Let's talk about this kiss,” she said, leaning in closer. Out of habit, she climbed onto his lap, her arms bare and exposed. Kaz hesitated, unsure of where to place his hands, before slowly resting them on her covered thighs.

“Well, it was fast and light,” he admitted, feeling the familiar awkwardness settle in.

“Don't minimize it, Kaz! It's wonderful! Bet you got all sorts of ideas,” she grinned, nudging his nose with hers playfully.

“Kind of,” he laughed nervously, the warmth of her proximity making him slightly more at ease.

“So? What do you want to do next?” she asked, her voice softening as she sensed his unease.

“I was thinking of sticking with making kisses bearable, and then, since summer is coming, it’s time for more skin exposure.” It still felt strange to talk about these things as if they were just mechanical actions, devoid of the emotional weight they carried.

“Rock my world, Brekker,” y/n murmured as she rested her head on his bicep. The position was perfect for a kiss, her head angled just right. Kaz leaned in, brushing their lips together. He repeated the motion several times, leaning in, pulling back, lingering a second longer each time.

"You're cute when you're focused," she commented, making him shake his head and laugh nervously. Kaz could feel her breath on his mouth, and it felt oddly normal. He wanted to deepen the kiss but felt embarrassed, so he moved to her cheek instead.

“Can you… can you kiss… me?” he stammered, feeling the prolonged contact start to make him dizzy. They swapped positions, and Kaz found himself resting his head on her lap. “Stop me whenever you want,” she said before kissing his forehead.

Kaz released a shaky breath, nothing ever feeling better than that small kiss. y/n continued, leaving a trail of tender kisses around his face. “This is so sweet I could cry,” she whispered at a certain point.

“Please don’t,” he laughed, blushing.

He felt particularly good, encouraged by everything he had managed to do with Inej and ready to push his boundaries further. y/n passed her hand through his neatly combed hair, raising his head to kiss the corner of his lips. Kaz felt the familiar anxiety rise, but his starved body craved more, so he didn’t move. He stood still as she kissed his full lips, but he stopped her hand before she could cup his face.

Kaz held her hand to his chest as if it were as his life depended on it while she urged him to deepen the kiss. He forced himself to let her in, feeling her tongue searching for his. His body tensed, but she murmured against his lips, “Breathe, Kaz.”

He took her advice, trying to steady himself. When their tongues touched, he felt a wave of nausea, but she was quick, distracting him with her hand still in his hair. y/n kept teasing him, never fully kissing him. His body was torn between fear and newfound desire. At some point, he couldn't take it anymore. Kaz tangled his hands into her hair and pulled her in for a deep kiss. He let himself feel their tongues sliding against each other. In that moment, the entire building could go up in flames and he would have preferred staying there, burning alive, instead of leaving her mouth. Her cherry lip balm was intoxicating. 

He felt her hands on his chest and cursed himself for not being able to telepathically tell her to let her hands slip to his neck and pull him closer. The kiss went on, and he was unable to let go, feeling as though he could drown but nothing bad would happen as long as her lips were on his. A small moan escaped her mouth, and Kaz was pulled back into reality so violently that he had to get up.

He grounded himself by pacing around, releasing heavy breaths. “That… was a great kiss,” she commented, nodding. Kaz was unsure if she was talking to him or to herself. 

Kaz stopped pacing and leaned against the wall, trying to regain his composure. The intensity of the kiss had left him shaken but also strangely satisfied. He looked at y/n, who was still sitting on the bed, her lips slightly swollen from their kiss. He couldn’t help but wonder what Inej would think of all this, but he pushed the thought aside, focusing on the progress he had made.

Only in that moment did Kaz realize how his body had reacted to the kiss, feeling his face change shade with embarrassment. “Well, must've been good even for you,” y/n remarked, letting her eyes linger on him. “Come on, there's no need to be ashamed. It's natural,” she shrugged, offering a reassuring smile.

“I'm not... uhm, used to this,” Kaz admitted, sitting in a chair far from her and avoiding her gaze.

“I am, so don't worry, lov— Kaz,” she corrected herself, sensing his discomfort.

He continued to blush, silently praying for his body to calm down. “We have some more time, can we just... talk?” he asked, trying to shift the focus away from the lingering awkwardness.

The girl nodded, seeming relaxed as she settled back into the chair. “So, you're back with that guy?” Kaz asked casually, hoping to steer the conversation into more neutral territory.

She wrinkled her nose. “I just wanted to eat chocolate, drink wine, and have sex,” she shrugged nonchalantly. “I mean, he couldn't make me come even if his life depended on it, but his—”

Kaz interrupted her quickly, feeling uncomfortable with where the conversation was heading. “y/n, oversharing,” he remarked with a hint of exasperation.

“Sorry, sorry,” she snorted, realizing her misstep.

“Why do you keep going out with him?”

“Not everyone finds the love of their life on the first try, Kaz,” she replied with a shrug. “Some of us have to go on bad dates and have bad sex.”

Kaz never explicitly thought of Inej as the love of his life, but he had never entertained thoughts about anyone else either. The idea of her potentially leaving him someday made his stomach sink, a feeling he wasn't accustomed to.

“See you Wednesday?” he asked, trying to sound nonchalant despite the knot in his stomach.

“I haven't told you? A client is taking me away for a week,” she replied, a mischievous grin spreading across her face. “He has, like, a lawyer conference or something. Can't fucking wait. Five-star hotel and all. He's promised me spa treatments, fancy dinners, and shopping. It's going to be awesome.”

Kaz studied her smile, suddenly realizing that she probably had some form of relationship not just with him, but with other clients as well. The thought unsettled him deeply, stirring a mix of jealousy and discomfort he hadn't anticipated. He couldn't shake the image of her with other men, indulging in luxurious trips and intimate moments, all while maintaining a professional demeanor.

Deciding it was time to go, he stood up abruptly. His mind was racing with conflicted thoughts—feelings of possessiveness he hadn't known he harbored, mixed with a stark reminder that their interactions were transactional at their core. As he made his way to the door, he struggled to maintain his composure, his gaze lingering on her for a moment longer than intended.

***

Kaz kept watching her Instagram stories, each post depicting scenes of luxury and leisure—tanning by a pool, sipping cocktails at parties, early morning runs at sunrise, and romantic beach strolls at sunset. It baffled him why he felt such a surge of anger. They didn't know each other well; she never shared personal details. Yet, there he was, on a lonely Sunday night, a bottle of alcohol his only companion, staring at another picture of her in a stunning dress against a breathtaking backdrop.

The alcohol only fueled his frustration. How could she just leave, especially when he felt they were making progress? In a moment of impulse, he opened his banking app and took a screenshot of a money transfer ready to be confirmed—3000 kruge. 'Come back?' he typed beneath the screenshot, hesitating momentarily before hitting send.

The next morning, the hangover hit him hard, along with the realization of what he had done. Regret flooded in as he replayed the scene in his mind. Sending money felt like a desperate move, one that exposed his vulnerability more than he was comfortable admitting.

Throughout the day, he constantly checked his phone, hoping for a response that didn't come. He cursed himself for acting on impulse, for letting his emotions drive him to such a reckless gesture. Deep down, he knew it wasn't about the money—it was about wanting her presence, her company, even if it was just for a fleeting moment.

As the day wore on, he wrestled with conflicting emotions—anger at himself for being so impulsive, frustration at her for leaving without a word, and a gnawing sense of loneliness that seemed to deepen with each passing hour. 

***

Kaz sat in his car beneath her apartment building, grappling with embarrassment over his drunken text. He stared at the glowing screen of his phone, contemplating whether to turn the car around and head home. He knew he should, but something pushed him to go upstairs despite the awkwardness he felt. His injured leg throbbed uncomfortably with each step, almost as if it, too, protested the decision.

Entering her apartment, Kaz settled onto the familiar couch, listening to the sounds emanating from y/n's room until it was his turn. As they settled on her bed, y/n kept her arms crossed, her expression expectant, while Kaz avoided meeting her gaze.

"Kaz, what was that?" she finally asked, her tone a mix of curiosity and concern.

"y/n, I don't know. I was drunk and..." He trailed off, unsure how to justify his actions when even he didn't fully understand them.

"Kaz, if you're catching feelings for me..." she started, but he cut her off firmly.

"I'm not," he asserted, though his words rang hollow in his own ears.

Her gaze softened, and she reached out, her hand finding his. "If that's the case, you shouldn't be embarrassed. What we're doing is... intimate and sweet. It would be normal to mistake it for something more."

"I'm not doing anything, just a drunk text," Kaz repeated, the words feeling inadequate even as he said them.

"If you ever do, you have to let me know," she said softly, her thumb brushing against his hand. "You gave me your first proper kiss, Kaz. It's normal to be confused."

"I'm doing this for my girlfriend, who I love very much," he replied hastily, trying to sound more confident than he felt.

"I know, but if it makes you uncomfortable, we shouldn't see each other anymore," she replied, her voice tinged with understanding.

They spent the next hour making out, Kaz finding it difficult to let go of y/n's hair. He wanted to explore more, but it all felt too overwhelming. y/n tried to touch his arms and chest, but he had to stop her before it became too much. He managed to leave a few chaste kisses on her neck, but when she tried to reciprocate, he almost lost control, so they focused on their lips and faces.

y/n shamelessly moaned into his mouth, and even Kaz couldn't help but let a few sounds escape his lips. Just as the intensity between them peaked, a hard knock on the door made them spring apart, the first time they had done so in many minutes.

"y/n, you're late!" one of her roommates protested from outside, breaking the charged atmosphere.

They looked at each other with wide eyes, suddenly aware of the time. Kaz checked his phone and realized he was supposed to have left thirty minutes ago. A nervous laugh escaped them both, neither daring to meet the other's gaze.

"I should go," Kaz finally said, shifting uncomfortably and avoiding eye contact. "I think I need a minute," he added, his face flushing with embarrassment while y/n smirked, a hint of satisfaction in her expression.

Kaz insisted on leaving extra money for the additional time they had spent together. "There's no need to, we got carried away," y/n protested, but Kaz was resolute.

"Does this happen often?" he asked curiously, a cocky smile playing on his lips.

"No," she admitted quietly.

"Then take these," Kaz said firmly, leaving the money on her desk before swiftly exiting the apartment, the weight of their encounter heavy on his mind as he made his way back to his car.

Kaz entered the Crow Club, his mind heavy with the events of the previous hour. "You are so late, Brekker," Jesper commented, raising an eyebrow. "I had to say you had the flu."

Kaz shrugged, collapsing into the chair next to him. "Where were you?" Jesper pressed, a suspicious edge to his voice.

"I had stuff to do," Kaz replied casually, pulling out his phone to reply to the messages from Inej that had accumulated throughout the day.

Jesper leaned in, sniffing the air. "Why do you smell of cherries?" he asked, his nose crinkling as he leaned closer.

Kaz shoved him away, hoping to sound convincing. "I don’t smell of cherries. What the fuck?"

Jesper narrowed his eyes, not easily fooled. "Are you cheating on Inej?" he asked abruptly, his tone sharper than usual.

Kaz's heart skipped a beat. "What? Jesper, come on. I can’t even touch people," he said, avoiding Jesper's gaze.

Jesper hummed, skepticism clear in his expression. "You’re weird, man. I’m telling you. And you've been acting stranger than usual lately," he added, his eyes searching Kaz's face for any signs of deceit. "Your clothes, they don't look like you've been working. More like you've been... elsewhere."

Kaz shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I had things to take care of. It's not what you think."

Jesper's eyes narrowed further. "And what am I supposed to think, Kaz? You're disappearing for hours, coming back smelling like cherries, and acting all shifty. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were up to something."

Kaz's mind raced, trying to find a plausible explanation that would satisfy Jesper's growing suspicion. "It's complicated, Jesper. Just trust me."

Jesper crossed his arms, not letting it go. "Complicated how? You're not giving me much to trust here. You owe me more than just 'stuff to do.'"

Kaz clenched his jaw, feeling the pressure of Jesper's scrutiny. "I'm handling things, okay? Personal things. It's nothing you need to worry about."

Jesper's eyes stayed locked on Kaz, clearly not convinced. "Personal things, huh? Well, I hope for your sake, and Inej's, that whatever you're doing is worth all this secrecy. Because if it blows up in your face, don't say I didn't warn you."

Kaz sighed, the weight of Jesper's suspicions adding to his already heavy burden. "Noted, Jesper. Noted."

Jesper watched him for a moment longer before shaking his head and walking away, leaving Kaz to his thoughts. The encounter left Kaz feeling even more unsettled, the realization that he was not only lying to himself but also to his closest friends gnawing at him. He needed to get a grip on his emotions and focus, before everything he was working for crumbled around him.

***

He didn't see her at the Crow Club on Friday night, and it made him restless. He had seen from her Instagram stories that she was heading out. Did he hope she would show up at his club? Maybe. Was he glaring at the entrance, waiting for her? Absolutely.

As he changed spots, he saw that she posted another story. It took all his strength to wait a few minutes before looking at it. She was tagging the Emerald Palace. The only things preventing Kaz from throwing his phone against the wall were the facts that he was in public and that his phone was already hanging on for dear life.

He decided to turn his phone off for the night, and probably for the next 24 hours. If anything in her stories suggested that Pekka Rollins was her client, he knew he would lose it completely. A drunk text begging her to come back would be nothing compared to what he might do.

As Kaz tried to focus on his work, his thoughts kept drifting back to y/n. He wondered if she thought about him at all during her time with other clients. He hated how possessive he felt, knowing that he was just one of many in her life. He couldn't stand the idea of her being with Pekka Rollins. The thought of her in his arms made his blood boil.

Kaz replayed their conversations in his mind, trying to understand his feelings. He knew he was doing this for Inej, to be able to touch her and be with her without fear. But every time he thought about y/n, it felt more complicated. He didn't want to admit it, but there was a part of him that enjoyed their time together, that looked forward to it. The intimacy they shared, even if it was paid for, was something he had never experienced before.

The next night, Kaz found himself distracted at the Crow Club again. He couldn't help but check his phone, even though he had promised himself he wouldn't. When he saw no new notifications from y/n, he felt a mix of relief and disappointment. He knew he shouldn't care so much, but he did. He needed to keep his emotions in check, for Inej's sake and for his own sanity.

He took a deep breath and tried to focus on the tasks at hand. There were deals to be made, plans to be executed. But even as he immersed himself in work, a part of him remained tethered to the thought of y/n, wondering what she was doing and if she thought about him at all.

***

Kaz and y/n were on her bed, as usual. She was wearing only a bra and panties, and he was trying to let his bare hands wander around her body. He managed to touch her arms comfortably enough, but any other place still made him flinch. They were talking about the latest episode of a show he had made her watch. Well, he had annoyed her so much that she finally gave in and started it. He had tried the same with Inej, but his girlfriend had dropped it after the pilot.

“Kaz, you’re tickling me,” she laughed, trying to squirm away.

“Oh, am I?” he teased, pushing his boundaries only for the sake of making her contort and laugh.

“Please, Kaz, I can’t breathe,” she kept trying to escape him, but apparently, his demons could stay at bay if it meant annoying her. Kaz kept tickling everywhere he could reach, pulling her back against him when she managed to get too far away.

“Safe word, safe word,” she screamed playfully, and he finally stopped. They were both shifting like fools, with Kaz almost pinning her in a corner between the wall and the bed. He was on his knees, his bad leg screaming at him, while she was on her back, half-seated, half-lying down. One of his hands was still on her hip. He squeezed it softly, as if trying to test his boundaries even more.

They were both catching their breaths, and Kaz did everything he could to keep his eyes on hers, without letting them wander over her exposed body.

“You can look if you want,” she said, as if reading his thoughts, batting her lashes and shifting position to lie down better.

“I don’t want to—”

“To what? Make me uncomfortable? I’m a whore, Kaz.”

He didn’t want to do it, but in the end, he was just a man. Kaz let his gaze study her curves, which until that day he had tried so desperately to ignore. He felt a strange mix of guilt and curiosity. His eyes traced the lines of her body, lingering on the soft rise and fall of her chest, the gentle curve of her waist. He couldn’t deny the attraction, the pull he felt towards her, and it unnerved him.

His thoughts raced. What was he doing here? Was this really just about getting comfortable with physical contact for Inej’s sake, or was there something more? He had always prided himself on his control, his ability to stay detached and focused. But here, with y/n, he felt that control slipping away. Was it the intimacy they shared, or was it simply the fact that she saw him, really saw him, in a way that no one else did?

As he continued to study her, he felt a pang of guilt. Inej was the one he loved, the one he was doing all of this for. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was betraying her somehow, even though there was nothing truly romantic between him and y/n. It was confusing, and Kaz hated feeling confused. He was used to having a plan, a clear path, and this situation was anything but clear.

Her allusive smile drew him back to the present. She seemed to sense his internal struggle, and instead of pushing him, she just lay there, allowing him to take his time. He appreciated that about her, the way she seemed to understand without needing an explanation.

His hand was still firmly on her waist, and y/n raised a foot, getting it close to his face. He chuckled, trying to grip her ankle, but she kept pulling away. After a few tries, his leg decided to give up, and a sharp pain made him hiss and lose his balance, falling on her.

Kaz could feel her breasts pressed against his chest. He became painfully aware of how much skin was touching him, and he silently thanked Ghezen that he was still clothed. y/n saw him pale. “Kaz, it’s okay. It’s just us.”

The word “us” made him feel worse than her skin. For a second, his gaze fell on her lips. What did “us” even mean in this context? They weren’t a couple, and yet there was an undeniable bond between them. Did that make him unfaithful? Or was this just part of the process, a necessary step on his journey to being with Inej in the way he wanted?

“Great kiss moment,” she assured him, uncertain if he was about to throw up or skip that step and die directly on her.

Surprising both of them, he leaned in, leaving a small kiss on her lips before raising himself up from her body. He sat back, his breathing uneven, and rubbed his aching leg absentmindedly.

She watched him carefully, her expression a mix of concern and curiosity. “Kaz, you’re making a lot of progress. You should be proud of yourself.”

He nodded, but the turmoil inside him was far from settled. The lines between his goals, his feelings for Inej, and his unexpected attachment to y/n were blurring, and he didn’t know how to navigate them. “Thanks,” he muttered, looking away.

Kaz hesitated for a moment, gathering his thoughts before speaking. "I wanted to ask you to try something, but I get it if you say no, it’s weird," he began.

"Tell me," she shrugged curiously, her gaze fixed on him.

Kaz exhaled deeply, bracing himself for the impending embarrassment. "With Inej, we never share a bed. I usually sleep on the couch when she’s at my place, and I wanted to—"

"Sleep with me?" she cut him off, her eyebrows raising slightly.

He nodded silently, watching her reaction closely.

y/n considered it for a moment, her expression thoughtful. "It’s a bit weird," she agreed after a pause, "but I’ve done weirder shit for sure."

"Are you sure you’d be okay with it?" Kaz asked cautiously.

"Yeah, say when," she replied casually, with a hint of a smile.

[yunomagic]

Every single way Luz Noceda and Movie Sonic are similar (and why i think they should be besties)

These two are genuinely my moods, my kins, and my children and i actually do think they would be besties and its all gonna make sense in a minute i swear. Do be warned that this may be incoherent cuz I am like that, and that some things might’ve been said wrong. The elaborations are in no particular order and some explanations may be longer than others. ALSO this contains spoilers for both The Owl House and the Sonic Movies so if you haven’t watched one or both of em please do so when you can and come back to this. anyways Here we go:

Both resemble the archetype of a bubbly and kindhearted goofball of a protagonist that can be naive and/or impulsive at times during the time they first debuted

^^^ As they get older and as their stories progress, they start to mature and learn from what they experienced on their adventures

Both have dealt with a form of parental loss during an early part of their childhood ( Manny Noceda for Luz, and Longclaw for Sonic )

Both use escapism methods as coping mechanisms to compensate for their traumatizing childhood

( Luz indulges in TGWA books or fiction in general, and it’s implied she also does amvs and art, which can be interpreted as both hobbies and stress relievers. As for Sonic, he indulges in comic books like The Flash and pretends to be a part of Tom and Maddie’s family so he doesn’t feel so alone )

Both children were alone for a majority of their life and didn’t have any real friends until they found them in different worlds ( In the Boiling Isles, Luz ends up finding Eda, King, Gus, Willow and eventually, Amity. On Earth, Sonic ends up finding Tom and Maddie Wachowski, b4 meeting Tails and Knuckles later down the line )

Both strive to feel appreciated and accepted, and they execute it in similar ways

( Luz making grand gestures and extreme antics [like the snakes and the spiders in ep 1] to try and impress her classmates and Sonic trying to be a hero to make Longclaw proud, and to possibly gain acceptance from other humans )

^^^ As a result, both of their methods are seen as reckless and dangerous

Note: At this point in the ramble, the mobile version of tumblr won’t allow me to add more images cuz of a 10 image limit and I can’t figure out how to add more on desktop. So any evidence I provide is gonna be in quotes, parenthesis or paragraphs of elaboration. I’m so sorry there’s gonna be no visual flavor, if anyone can help me find a loophole that’d be great. Anyways back to the show:

Both pin the blame on themselves for things that weren’t their fault, and push themsleves to right what they believe they did wrong… by rushing into immediate danger ( can also be seen as some form of people pleasing behavior )

Both of them also refuse to accept any sort of help from the people who care about them

^^^ When Eda got captured trying to save Luz near the end of season 1, Luz’s plan was to straight up rescue her while being fully aware of the risks. This repeats again in season 2, episode 1 with the entire premise of the episode being that luz feels like a burden and is the cause of Eda losing her magic and everyone in the owl house financially struggling. Going all out to fight a selkiedomus in order to free Eda and king.

While Eda talks to Luz about it, the behavior doesn’t stop. Carrying over to Hollow Mind, and the episodes after that. If you know what happened in Hollow Mind, we’d know that Luz is now adamant on stopping Belos and the Day of Unity. While still being aware of the risks, she believes that she’s the sole reason for the Day of Unity happening, therefore she continued to risk her life in order to save others

“Please try to understand, Eda was in the situation because of me. Because of my stupid choice, I have to make up for it.” - Young Blood, Old Souls

“Because you stuck with me you lost your magic, you almost got turned to stone, and now you can’t even afford your apple blood because you’re worried about what I need to eat.” - Separate Tides

“I am NOT hiding, I’m going to stop Belos from completing the draining spell.” - O Titan, Where Art Thou

In the second act of sonic movie 2, Tails gets knocked unconscious by Robotnik and Sonic narrowly saves him in the nick of time b4 an avalanche could envelope them. Near the beginning of the movie, during the boat scene, the blue blur had a talk with Tom about how being a hero meant to take responsibility for other people. As Sonic accidentally caused chaos in Seattle for trying to stop a robbery and be a hero. It’s also implied that this has been happening more than once. One of the things Tom said to Sonic was, “You put people in danger and that’s not what a hero does.”

^^^ This statement indirectly affected Sonic’s way of thinking. While said with good intentions, as a result of what happened to Tails, Sonic believes that he needs to make up for what he did wrong by pursuing Knuckles and Robotnik for the master emerald. Thus, he thinks he’s automatically no longer a hero once a new friend of his almost died

( It should be worth mentioning that there was some visible regret in Tom’s face when he realized that he made sonic think that way. It’s also possible that Sonic blames himself for Longclaw’s death, the first movie also explicitly states that Sonic’s number one fear is hurting people because of being himself. Making the boat scene, what Tom said, AND what Sonic says next, extremely deep and depressing )

“You see that little fox over there? He came all the way across the universe to meet his hero, and what did his hero do? I practically got him killed! You were right, my moment came, and I blew it. I’m no hero.”

Key takeaways of these moments is that this is the kind of mindset both these kids have is somewhere along the lines of, “I accidentally made a mistake = Everything is my fault and I should take the blame and all responsibility for it no matter what other people tell me.”

^^^ This kind of thinking is reminiscent to people pleasing behavior and is v self-destructive. While Luz is undoubtedly a people pleaser, Sonic seems to be more of a subtle kind of people pleaser

Both kids may be afraid of rejection and/or abandonment due to past trauma

Both kids were forced to be sent away at some point in their childhood. The reasons and the circumstances differ, but the incidents were similar. In the end, it resulted in both Sonic and Luz not liking the idea of being sent away, even if it’s for their own safety

Both kids feel the need to become something or someone else in order to feel accepted by other people ( Luz wanting to become a witch in season 1 and Sonic wanting to become a hero in sonic movie 2 )

Both kids were forced into thinking that they are the problem or that they are a burden and danger to everybody around them. Just because they are being themselves.

^^^ Thus, they think that the solution is for them to either leave permanently or to never exist at all ( Luz initially planned to stay in the human realm and was vocal about her possible suicidal thoughts. Sonic planned on leaving Earth because that’s what Longclaw told him to do and he believed he would cause harm the longer he stays )

^^^ Luz says, “Who cares, about the RIPPLE effects? He was just a pawn in someone else’s game! A-And he was NEVER smart enough to realize it! If his friends and family knew about his existence… they’d know that their lives wouldn’t be in danger if it weren’t for HIM! They should hate his guts! And it would be better— if he literally, never EXISTED!” - Season 3, Thanks To Them

^^^ Sonic says, “I don’t wanna go, but I can’t stay. As long as I’m here, I put everyone in danger… I can’t do that.” - Sonic The Hedgehog 1

They’re both ridiculously selfless to the point where they won’t hesitate to sacrifice themselves under any sorr of circumstances

In the season 2 finale, King’s Tide, as the Boiling Isles is torn apart by the Collector, Luz intended to leave herself behind to keep the portal open with plant glyphs so Amity, Gus, Willow and Hunter can go through to the human realm. Luz also wanted to go find Eda, instead of heading for safety

On the other hand, during the final battle with Robotnik, Sonic wanted Tom and Maddie to get away from him in exchange for THEIR safety because he knows what Robotnik wants. It’s also possible that Sonic wants the Wachowski’s to get away from him because he can’t handle the idea of them dying because of him. The same way Longclaw did all those years ago

What both of these scenes have in common is that there’s this whole thing with families trying to stick together and the kids trying to participate in altruistic sacrifice. Which is very dark imo

Ultimately, the core of both of their stories and characters is that they both long to be understood and accepted by the people around them

OKAY— so i believe im done here, but there’s definitely more and i just forgor about it, and that there are some parts that are missing or i havent explained thoroughly. And it is getting late and this thing has been sitting in my drafts and i wanted to get this posted. But i do believe that these characters would get along super well, as they both have the similar demeanors and similar stories. (Insert that one barbie song /jjj) If these two met, they would either ramble, read each others comics, or commit crimes together /hj. I gave no doubt that ever met, their friendship would be instantaneous and strong. Anyways, imma head to bed, you guys can do whatever you want with rhe info i provided. Nighty night

[kylejsugarman]

I so wanna hear your thoughts on how au squared would change Jesse as a character esp S1 Jesse… like with how protective he is of kids I can’t imagine him being nearly as irresponsible as he was in canon, not with an infant daughter to look after. I’d imagine he’d try a lot harder to get and stay sober, my thinking is he relapsed from the stress of taking care of both Ginny and Baby, and then Ginny’s death just made everything worse as he scrambled to support them so his parents wouldn’t take custody, so he’s still in a pretty bad place and without a support system when Walt meets him. I also think Walt would lean a lot more heavily into the “doing this to support my family” angle to manipulate him, ex: “Do you want Baby to grow up without a future just because you’ve squandered your own? We’re doing this for our daughters remember” That kind of thing

u literally have the vision and the understanding and the insight, u completely understand where im coming from here. jesse is absolutely in a bad place when walt extorts him for the reasons u mentioned: he doesn't have ginny anymore, he can't trust his parents because he knows that for all their concern for baby they would take her from him in an instant, and he (believes that) doesn't have the skills or sobriety or schedule to hold down a job that pays well enough to support them. making meth is basically the best arrangement since there's no "schedule" and the money is good ("why do u do this?" "uh money mostly"), but that's obviously not great for his own drug use so it often comes down to "do i avoid drugs and potentially run out of money to feed my kid or do i peddle meth for good money and relapse constantly??" he tries really hard to be responsible, but it's a really stressful situation to be in and jesse finds himself lashing out in his daily life and self-medicating with drugs to cope with that stress. baby herself is basically the only thing in the world that makes him truly happy and he'll do whatever he can to give her what she deserves

walt, always the hypocrite, is disgusted with this choice even though he's essentially entering the drug business for the same reason and is constantly vocalizing his repulsion. insulting jesse for being a bad father is up there with demeaning his intelligence and berating him for using drugs in terms of go-to abuse tactics for walt, because he Knows that it cuts to the core. jesse will do Anything he wants if walt makes him believe that it's good for baby. in a sad way, jesse trusts walt on that front since walt has much more experience being a father, even though walt's parenting is extremely flawed and just continues to deteriorate as the series goes on, and sincerely believes everything that walt says about family (including walt's insults about jesse's capacity to be a father). walt knows how much jesse trusts and believes what he says, and weaponizes that a lot, especially later in the series once he truly witnesses just how much jesse loves baby and starts to lose his hold on jesse. the whole poisoning thing is so much more painful because the whole time leading up to it, walt is berating jesse for being in this business and getting involved with gus and mike when he "has a little girl at home waiting for him", but he emphatically decides to poison baby Because he knows it's the one thing that'll totally break jesse and get him back on his side. if jesse has reason to believe that gus hurt his daughter, he'll kill him and anyone else that walt asks him to. it's the perfect kill switch for walt, one that he built himself through months of eroding jesse's confidence and sense of self-worth.

in a lot of ways, au squared jesse is similar in that he lashes out a lot and is easy to manipulate through exploitation of his insecurities and the promise of love, but these things go deeper because jesse is even more insecure and even more desperate for love since he has so little support. he latches onto walt despite the abuse because walt is an adult who is at least providing some kind of guidance. he latches onto Everyone. while he may not be as completely reckless as his regular counterpart, jesse tries really hard to repress all of his feelings and anxieties when he's with baby just to avoid making things worse, and those bottled-up feelings manifest pretty violently and angrily once he's away from her and it can be hard to control himself. he just wants to do right by his daughter and keep her safe, but it's a huge struggle and everyone around him (walt especially) is ready to take advantage of this huge vulnerability

[lollytea]

I think that Willow is very silly and chaotic, but because all of her friends are so completely unhinged she tends to be the responsible one by default. When the kids get into mischief, Willow is the designated braincell. That’s why when the second Vee showed up acting all calm and reasonable, Willow immediately started murdering alarm clocks.

Vee: Hello. I hope you enjoy your stay at Casa De Noceda. My name is Vee and I will be your braincell.

Willow: Oh FUCK YEAH *starts eating cardboard*

[drbtinglecannon]

I just think about Flapjack, Dadrius, Huntlow, and Gus-Hunter-bros so much

How each dynamic Hunter has with them parallels a previous Caleb's story, and how each dynamic is a perfect reason in Belos' eyes to kill Hunter for "betraying him", let alone the way all of them are happening at once.

--

Flapjack being the first ever source of unconditional support in Hunter's life, as well as a gateway to wild magic, something Hunter adores but isn't permitted to be around -- just like they were for Caleb centuries ago. Flapjack is scarred and was abandoned for a long time, likely all from the day Caleb was killed, and the person who inflicted this pain onto them is the same person who abused Hunter. Flapjack didn't bond with Hunter because he is made from Caleb, but because Hunter's motivations line up with Flapjack's, and they have (literally) pulled Hunter along helping him eventually build the other supports he's made.

Flapjack represents the beginning of the end for both Caleb and Hunter in Belos' eyes, evident by his outburst upon seeing them. The very representation of the dangers of magic, leading Caleb away from his brother all over again.

--

Darius being the same witch that the Previous Golden Guard was the mentor of and became attached to, probably as something like a little brother or son, then ended up dying to protect. From the trauma and grief of loss, Darius kept a distant and strained relationship with Hunter for years until recently after a moment of rare rebellion from Hunter -- something we now know every grimwalker before him has also done. Now it has come full circle with Darius as the adult developing a similar attachment to Hunter as something like a son to him, and almost dying during the draining spell after sending Hunter away to protect him.

Belos had to have known about the Previous Golden Guard's dedication to Darius, just as Belos knew Darius was a rebel when no one else suspected him. And now here he is, ruining another perfectly good Caleb not even two decades later.

--

Willow being a witch that Hunter, a non-witch, develops feelings of some kind for, who is brave and strong and always protecting her loved ones, including Hunter himself a number of times. Hunter, a Caleb clone, who loves wild magic and the people he's bonded with in the Boiling Isles, with Willow being the very first to be positive from the start. A perfect reflection to Caleb, the original Caleb from centuries ago, who willingly fell in love with the Boiling Isles and the people there and -- most importantly -- the witch he started a family with, who bravely tried to protect Caleb in his final moments.

The original sin of Caleb that got him killed in cold blood, grave robbed, and cloned for centuries afterwards was falling in love with the Boiling Isles and a witch. The ultimate betrayal, when Caleb chose this hell over his own brother.

--

Gus being a little brother to Hunter, who is sheltered and cared for and protected by this older brother figure. This isn't the first Caleb to be an older brother to someone, blood-related or not, in fact that's how this story all started. Caleb was Philip's doting older brother, who sheltered and cared for and protected him their entire childhoods through the horrors of their upbringing. But this time it's not one-sided, Gus has sheltered and cared for and protected Hunter back, he was the safe haven for Hunter to confide in after he ran away from his home, and he shared a healthy coping mechanism with Hunter for his anxiety.

Gus' brothership with Hunter is a series of kindnesses that Philip didn't grant to Caleb in the end. After everything they've been through, how could Caleb choose a witch as a brother over him?

--

Willow and Gus reflect the original Caleb's story, Darius was directly involved in the last grimwalker story, and Flapjack was directly involved in the original Caleb's story. And all of them are here now for Hunter.

It was inevitable Hunter was going to be the Grimwalker to finally break the chain, with having so many direct and indirect ties to his predecessors all lined up together in his favor through a combination of extreme luck, coincidence, and his own actions to change.

It's beautiful and poetic, really.

[spockandawe]

Okay, I think I found what I really wanted to root out with Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu and the physicality of their book relationship.

Because I will argue for days that Wen Kexing is terribly touch-starved, especially at the beginning of the book. For eight years, as the Valley Master, he’s only allowed Gu Xiang within a meter of him. They have a fairly casual relationship, but they straddle an awkward line between family and master/servant, and as the Ghost Valley Master? Everyone in Ghost Valley, including Gu Xiang, is at least a little frightened of him. He’s affection-starved as much as he is touch-starved, and having one person who cares more than she’s frightened isn’t really enough to overcome that degree of isolation. When a servant woman is combing his hair and accidentally hits a snag, she begs for her life, and his first reaction is to ask if someone forced her to wait on him. He’s been the Valley Master since he was a very young adult, and he’s been in Ghost Valley since he was a child.

And it’s so interesting to me that a lot of cnovels really emphasize that when the leads are in a relationship, it’s their first relationship, and they never wanted anyone else, but Wen Kexing (and jing beiyuan in lord seventh, which is an interesting parallel) really directly subvert that. Gu Xiang almost immediately remarks that Wen Kexing spends plenty of nights with male courtesans, and partway through the book, Wen Kexing uses a handkerchief from a famous courtesan to treat Zhou Zishu’s injury. He left the valley and entered the human world, and immediately threw himself into the arms of other men.

And Zhou Zishu, I would say, is also touch starved and affection starved, but is coping differently from Wen Kexing. No matter how strained and/or political his relationships with the Emperor and the government are, and even though he took charge of the Four Seasons Manor at... fifteen, iirc, he did have at least one close, affectionate (for a zhou zishu value of affectionate), trusting relationship, with Liang Jiuxiao. And where Wen Kexing starts the book with a comfortable relationship with Gu Xiang, Zhou Zishu starts the book knowing that his shidi is dead, and in Lord Seventh, we see the ways that he failed and/or “failed” Liang Jiuxiao, with Jiang Xue, and with staying at his post during the final battle instead of rushing off and trying to find his shidi, and it working out... not well. And I think it’s fascinating that unlike Wen Kexing, when he leaves Tian Chuang to reenter the human world, he’s content to be almost completely solitary, and focuses his attention on seeing the sights and drinking good wine.

A really interesting parallel to me is in the Ye Baiyi extra, where he mentions that it’s only human nature to crave food and sex, and he’s too old to care about sex, so food it is. Because that’s not a thought he ever shares with the other characters, but it’s very interesting to me that in the novel, in that first burst of enjoying their freedom, Wen Kexing is so focused on physical intimacy, first with courtesans, and then with Zhou Zishu, while Zhou Zishu is much more focused on physical pleasure must less dependent on other humans, like sightseeing and wine.

But once Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu are in action together, and once Wen Kexing definitively gets invested in Zhou Zishu, the physical progression of the relationship is really interesting to me. Wen Kexing gets very handsy and very forward, very quickly. Zhou Zishu tends to either endure or push him away, depending on the situation, but compared to something like, say, svsss, there’s much less ‘but i’m not gay though’ and much more generalized irritation until he (much more slowly) gets invested in return. 

And I probably would have brushed it away except for that one scene where they were about to do it, and get interrupted by the Scorpion King. First, this line, which makes it absolutely clear that as much as Zhou Zishu had given up on living a long, normal human life, Wen Kexing was in exactly the same position. Now, seeing Zhou Zishu potentially get a new lease on life, he’s forced to reckon with the idea that it might be possible for him to live on in the same way, which casts a whole new light on how casually he slept around with courtesans and propositioned Zhou Zishu earlier in the story, versus where he stands now.

They were both lone wolves who had been caught in hunters’ traps, struggling with all of their strength to free themselves to no avail, and thus, were willing to gnaw their own legs off without mercy.

[Wen Kexing] hadn’t been able to help following him, from watching him. Then a revelation had dawned— He’d realized, for the first time, that if Zhou Zishu could live like this, was it also a possible for him to live like this?

And then when Wen Kexing starts to catch a fresh round of feelings, Zhou Zishu’s response says volumes about his prior reactions whenever Wen Kexing got forward with him.

“A-Xu, sleep with me once. This way, we’ll keep each other in our hearts. You won’t die so easily then, and neither will I. What do you think?”

He said it jokingly, yet Zhou Zishu did not reply, only looked at him oddly. A while later, he finally asked, “Are you truly sincere about this?”

Wen Kexing laughed, his body tilting towards Zhou Zishu. He spoke, nearly against Zhou Zishu’s lips, “Can’t you tell if I’m sincere or not?”

Stunned, Zhou Zishu paused, then said in a low voice, “I… truly can’t tell. I haven’t experienced many instances of sincerity over the course of my life, and can’t identify it. Are you?”

Wen Kexing's fingers drifted up his shoulder, and tugged his hair loose. Dark hair cascaded down, making the tough man before his eyes look a few degrees more fragile in an instant. He dropped his cheeky grin, and in a soft voice, filled with momentous certainty, said, "I am."

Wen Kexing is most starved for touch, while Zhou Zishu is most starved for sincerity. Zhou Zishu was up to his neck in court politics in Lord Seventh, where a major focus of the story is about how sure, the Crown Prince may be deeply in love, but he’s the future Emperor, and ultimately, his feelings land way down the priority list. Up until this point in the story, with Wen Kexing waxing eloquent about how pretty Zhou Zishu must be, and calling it ‘mariticide’ when Zhou Zishu hits him, and being like ‘no no let’s hear the man out’ when the Scorpion King wants them to put on a sexy show for him, Zhou Zishu hasn’t been able to tell whether  Wen Kexing means it. 

I love me a story where the leads are terrible communicators and it causes them much Suffering, but this is a really tasty variant that I don’t feel like I see that often. Their hungers are so similar, but just disjoint enough that they can’t understand each other’s reservations. For a soulmates story like this, it’s just the right kind of tension to make the relationship work extra well for me. They’re in sync about this, as they are about so many things, with just enough of an offset that they’re both left ever so slightly uncertain, and it isn’t until they trust each other enough to ask a question as plain as ‘are you truly sincere about this?’ that they’re finally able to close the gap and reach that understanding with each other. 

[stupid-stew]

character names keep me alive, toh is my lifeblood.

i am literally obsessed and this show really does provide (i still have to add more smh my head dana terrace why do you do this to me jk i love it so much please never stop) COPY AND PASTED FROM DOC UNDER BREAK

NAMES INCLUDED:

FIRST NAME

LILITH

EDA

LUZ

KING

WILLOW

GUS

ASSORTED BLIGHTS

LAST NAME

BLIGHT

CLAWTHORNE

NOCEDA

PORTER

PARK

BUMP

MISCELLANEOUS

BELOS

HIERONYMUS AND BOSCHA

ADEGAST

HOOTY

OWLBERT

KIKIMORA

GWENDOLYN

RAYNE

NOTE EVERYTHING BEFORE GWENDOLYN AS OF 6/24/21 WRITTEN WITHOUT SEASON 2 KNOWLEDGE, TO BE REVISED, REVISIONS IN BOLD!

Hello and welcome to the ramblings of a mad man. Before we get into it I think you should note that I do write like I talk because I think like a talk and I write how I think, so if you are confused as to why it sounds like i’m not making sense its because I'm not making sense also my capitalization and punctuation suck so sorry about that but we don’t have time for technicalities in this house. TO ADVENTURE!

FIRST NAME

LILITH

EDA

LUZ

KING

WILLOW

GUS

ASSORTED BLIGHTS

LAST NAME

BLIGHT

CLAWTHORNE

NOCEDA

PORTER

PARK

BUMP

MISCELLANEOUS

BELOS

HIERONYMUS AND BOSCHA

ADEGAST

HOOTY

OWLBERT

KIKIMORA

GWENDOLYN

RAYNE

GILBERT

FIRST NAME

LILITH

Ok so because I'm lilith’s bitch we are gonna start with her because her name is so cool and I love her and we should be besties Lilith hmu. Anyways as most people know Lilith is a pre existing mythological character which makes this very much good because that means it’s all outlined. Most people know her as a demonic figure, which I very much dig but similar to our lovely queen of curses out here, that's not all she is. There isn’t going to be a chronological explanation of similarities and conclusions, cope. The basic gist is that Lilith was this chick with fiery red hair (this is important iykyk) who refused to be beneath or below adam, more specifically to subjugate to him, funny because of the tapestry with belos what says subjugation on it, probably a coincidence but I do not believe in coincidence right now. Anyways basically she runs off and becomes this chick who like snatches children and will make them sick if they don’t have an amulet with the names Senoy, Sansenoy, or Semangelof on them, thats a different story but what I find interesting is this one passage,

“(12) Her nobles shall be no more, nor shall kings be proclaimed there; all her princes are gone. (13) Her castles shall be overgrown with thorns, her fortresses with thistles and briers. She shall become an abode for jackals and a haunt for ostriches. (14) Wildcats shall meet with desert beasts, satyrs shall call to one another; There shall the Lilith repose, and find for herself a place to rest. (15) There the hoot owl shall nest and lay eggs, hatch them out and gather them in her shadow; There shall the kites assemble, none shall be missing its mate. (16) Look in the book of the LORD and read: No one of these shall be lacking, For the mouth of the LORD has ordered it, and His spirit shall gather them there. (17) It is He who casts the lot for them, and with His hands He marks off their shares of her; They shall possess her forever, and dwell there from generation to generation.”

And there are separate part of this that I find relevant, especially the description of the location, i’m not all that familiar with symbolism of animals in religious texts, so i’m gonna take it at face value and say that this is more or less a description that could be given to the physical owl house itself, sort of a place for people who don’t fit in, its a little messy and I guess one could say overgrown, but it’s a place for anyone, a place to rest now hopefully for Lilith away from the coven, there shall the Lilith repose. On top of that we see the “the hoot owl…” and you’re probably thinking what that so crazy wacko because like why are they referring to Lilith as the hoot owl isn't Eda the owl lady, yes she is. That’s why the actual meanings of lilith’s name that come from her mythological depiction as a demon lady are so important. We have night monster, night owl, night spectre, vampires, night hag, night creature, nightjar (which is another kind of bird), and night bird, all of these seem to fit lilith’s dark aesthetic very nicely which is very good for her, but there are two other ones, hot owl and screech owl, which draw her closer to Edaand away from the coven and her depiction in the mid-later episodes of the show as a monster for cursing eda, but also the name night monster could come into play if while sharing the curse Lilith acquired some of its traits, similar to Ed aas the owl beast. Ultimately, we have this little red head girl who eventually fights back against the men who are attempting to get her to be under them, for the character that is belos, for the other Lilith that is adam, god, and his angels, and now hopefully both of them will find solace and repose among the owls in a place they never thought they’d belong. All this talk of owls and god brings us into the other clawthorne baddie:

Lilith did find her repose! I love her staying in the owl house, get it queen oh yuh.

EDA

For this I'm going to use her full name edalyn, because you know like that’s just how it be it is her name. There isn’t a wiki page for her name like there is for Lilith which makes this a little bit harder but the general consensus seems to be that it means something along the lines of “gift of god”, which I find very interesting. If you are going to name a child gift of god i’m assuming that you are referring to the child themselves, but I don’t think that really applies to eda. I’m not religious, but its my impression that someone who lies, cheats, pranks, and steals their way to the top and isn’t exactly the most responsible witch on the isles and might not be the best gift god could give. I do really love Eda though, her character flaws are still a part of her character, but I think this refers to her powers. Eda considers herself to be the boiling isles gift to magic, which I mean like, have you seen the woman. In agony of a witch we see her at what probably 30% of her power with how much the curse was already tolling on her and how much magic she was probably using to fight it off, and like goddamn. She was almost beating lilith, definitely beating the shit out of her, but she was almost defeating Lilith who was at her full power, and that is just a fraction of what she used to be able to do. Her powers were a gift of god, and I think that the loss of them will greatly affect her. She’s already admitted that she doesn’t know how to do much without her magic, and I think going straight from the second most powerful witch on this isles to having no power at all is going to be incredibly taxing on her, physically and mentally.

Luckily for her the name edalyn also means patience, another thing about her name is that it not only means gift of god, but also similar things like gifted by the gods or even goddess, and this draws a connection to Lilith who is named after a demonic figure, casted out for having defied god, they are quite literally polar opposites on the name spectrum, and we see that a lot in the show, they are completely different people, I mean have you looked at them they don’t even look related, but the funnier thing is that their personalities do the same thing. You’d expect Edain her youth to be a gift from the devil, just ask principal bump, and Lilith seemed to be a goody two shoes who worked her ass off, their names could be switched based off their characters alone.

A random baby name site I found said that :

“Persons with the name edalyn are usually highly flexible and well equipped to making and accepting change throughout their life. They always seek excitement and are sometimes a bit of a risk taker. They are imaginative, and often, through their unconventional way of thinking, are naturally able to solve complex problems with ease. They are quick thinkers and observers who are clever, analytical and versatile”

Which I mean like very much applies to eda, she takes change like a champ, either genuinely or by pretending she’s ok with everything, and is always seeking excitement. Like literally all of the time. Always. I think she takes felonies as a compliment, and one of the biggest changes in her life that she genuinely was able to adapt to and appreciate was

OH MY GOD HER LEARNING THE NEW GLYPHS WAS SO CUUUUTTTEEE, I love her being able to adapt, she really is doing well. As the beginning of separate tides shows, she’s working around it, and is doing a damn good job, living up to her name.

LUZ

Ok I think at this point everyone knows that at this point the name Luz means light, and if you didn't, oopsies now you do. The character Luz was named and designed after a real life person the miss dana terrace knew at the time she was starting to really think about the show, Luz ’s personalty comes more from dana herself and we love that, but the character has really started to grow into her name. This is made most obvious when the first spell Luz learns is the light glyph, not only coming into her own as a witch, but also starting to live up to her name, which along with light also has to do with “Our Lady of Light”, which is the virgin mary, fitting her right in with the other biblical names we got going on here. I really want to stress that I know next to zero about religion, and all of the connections I am making come from wikipedia, so bare with me here. But most of the time mary seems to be this pure, saint like figure, which I think is what a lot of people see Luz as, especially on the isles. I’m going to flat out say that this is in no way meant to pass off Luz as simple minded, pure, or oblivious, because we have seen what that girl is willing to do, she faced death and poked him in the with an ice cicle. In terms of life on the isles, however, she is more or less pure and sheltered, she’s completely new to the world she’s in, but she does quickly adapt, and shows more of her strong side, and remains a good person throughout all of it, taking losses as they come, and not letting them remain losses at the same time.

Back to the whole light thing, we already touched on the whole literal bit of her and the light spell, but can you think of a better way to describe Luz ? She literally brings light everywhere she goes, even Eda admits that she’s changed things for the better, for everyone around her too. Willow got a new friend, probably the first friend she’s had in a long time, and even got to begin repairing her relationship with amity, and got placed in the plant track so she could do the things she loves, all because of Luz . Edagot to grow as a person and a mentor, and finally got someone willing to accept all her eda-ness, unconditionally, someone to really care about that really cares about her back, all because of Luz . Amity got a friend who cares about her, not just her family name and money, someone who supports her and will do anything for her because she is her friend, and a bit of self discovery along the way for amity, all because of Luz . Not a single person on the isles who has had more than 2 minutes of interaction with Luz hasn’t had their lives improved, even belos got his portal, and the thing is that even characters who people might not even consider changed have been, characters such as

Luz my beloved, she seems a little bit less of a light this season, and i do mean little. That’s totally fine though, it’s expected, i didn’t want her to just be this bright shining star after the events of the last two episodes of season 1, and appreciate her going and starting to take the fantasy of the isles with more than just a grain of salt. Obviously like in escaping expulsion, she’s still trying her best to make everything better and make friends with everyone, but there’s something a little different about it and i’m here for it tbh.

KING

The name king itself is obvious, he is royalty, the king of demoNS HIMSELF ASMODEUS hahahaha pulled a sneaky on you now accept my ideas as your own. I am on a mythological name kick, deal with it. The most important thing here is in the bible, asmodeus poses himself as a false god, which I know is something we have all considered with king, that he might be a full on liar, not be a king of anything and is just your ordinary street demon, it’s even come up in the show with him calling himself the king of artists and Luz asking him if he was just making it up at this point. It’s a good theory, I can see it, and this could be used as proof. There is also another legend that paints him as a good natured dude, who eventually banishes the king by literally throwing him, and then he loses his powers and is banished, but this is also the same legend where he marries Lilith and that is not something I am down for. There is another text in which he tells the king (the same one he threw in the other one) that his kingdom will one day be divided and the king does not believe him, and this is the same text where he admits to hating water and birds because they remind him of god. Lets think class, who has the god name and is related to birds here? King’s name by itself holds true to his character, who (regardless of if it is truthful or not) holds himself as if he is a king, and he isn't the only one with a name like that, there is also

WILLOW

Ok I know we all thought it, willow, the plant girl, how fiendishly clever. This also happens to be the only descriptor for her name I could find, which is totally fine because I think it’s a very cute name and willow is also very cute. This means we get to go into the symbolism of the willow tree wwwooooOOOOO aren’t you so very excited I know I am. Its kind of interesting, willow trees seem to match the character, understanding, warm, a safe space really, but most of all the ability to let go of pain and suffering, sometimes outright ignore it, and move on. Willow does always say out of sight out of mind does she not? She is willing to ignore, even excuse people bullying her, be it bosha or even amity, and the moment she got the chance her inner willow decided to try and literally burn the painful memories she had, willing to cause damage just to forget. Willow as a character is very willing to move on like nothing happened most of the time, key word most because another thing about willows is the ability to grow from the pain. Before understanding willow, we never really saw willow stand up for herself until she really had to, but hy the end of the episode she is willing to tell amity that she isn’t willing to fully forgive her, but she’s willing to grow and try. Heck, we see this over the entire first season, we see this little girl who can barely pull it together long enough to stand up for herself grow into this amazing character willing to publicly oppose the emperor and break into his castle for her friend, she tried to full out attack Lilith when 19 episodes earlier she wasn’t able to stand up to amity for bullying her. And I am in no way calling willow weak, she never was, she just needed to find the ability to show everyone that she’s strong, god I love willow so much, you wanna know who else loves willow?

GUS

Gus, my main man, love you but for this we are gonna have to use the full on augustus sorry babes. The name augustus means majestic, or venerable, which while I must say that the illusion of kiki doing the worm was probably one of the most majestic things I have ever seen, I’m going to focus on venerable a bit more here. Venerable is a big word, it means “accorded a great deal of respect, especially because of age, wisdom, or character.”, which for gus the age part might play a smaller part here, but he is good as what he does, Luz and willow both respect him, Eda Respects him, he’s this little dude who is younger than everyone and has to rely on his ability to succeed, not only with his power but with his personality. Gus seems to be confident in himself, communicating with everyone regardless of who they are or what power they hold, similarly to willow he was willing to do anything to help Luz , leading into the second description of venerable, “heroic in nature”. Now, you might be wondering, bestie where ever did you get that description, it totally wasn’t from a religious page okyesitwas but that's fine because being pronounced venerable guarantees a spot in heaven so get it bestie. Overall, the general meaning for augustus is that they are strong, respectable, and powerful, which takes us right into the

Gus, shawty, ily but please stop the obsession with death babes ur starting to scare me. I hope with the upcoming Gus content in TTLGR we will see more of him growing into his powers and such.

ASSORTED BLIGHTS

The blight first names bring me joy so I am putting amity last because I think its really funny, starting off with alador, the name alador evokes diplomacy, correctness, and confidence. We know zilch about alador, but if the vibes of the blight family have anything to say it’s definitely something along those lines. The name odalia means wealth, which I mean like have you seeeen blight manor? Also back at it again with the fact that it’s a variant of the name odilia, like the saint olilia which I don't have ties for you right now because again, we know nothing about her. Edric also means wealth, fortune, riches, powerful, you get the vibes, same thing with emira which means commander, or prince, princess, leader, or star. So you know like we have all these super powerful names happening, and then, oh boy and then we get to little miss perfect herself, amity blight. It means friendship, or harmony. If I was her I would be so mad at my parents like yall have these mad powerful names and I got stuck with friendship? Hand me the emancipation papers. You know what they say, friendship is the real magic (even if no longer taught in schools due to budget constraints). I hope that this leads more into season 2 with amity working on her friendships and ultimately her relationships in general, which we got a bit of already with her working on repairing her relationship with willow, and making the moves to cut off old toxic friendships and moving into more genuine ones with willow, Luz , and gus. I guess you could say that the only thing ALL the blights have in common with each other is their

They are rich assholes, alador is a little wacko, odalia is hot asf dana seriously what the hell man that was out of pocket. The only thing about alador that lives up to his name is his money, odalia seems more obsessed with image and money, and i too am obsessed with her image literally boy what the hell boy.

LAST NAME

BLIGHT

The word blight by itself means a plant disease which boy oh boy can you believe how nicely that fits into amity bullying willow because I sure can. Outside of just the plant bit it overall just means like something that damages another thing, and this works beautifully for each member of the family. The parents are damaging their children, the twins just causing general damage, and amity and her goddamn relationships, but fortunately that whole plant thing brings us into the next couple of last names

CLAWTHORNE

The last name clawthorne means “cold or exposed thorn tree” which had me kind of like what the heck so I went off and had some fun and got you some presents that I think are funny, so there was this guy right, his name was joseph clawthorne, and he created the term whiffenpoof, which is the name for a wildly fictitious animal, things like a jackalope, or even a griffin with spider breath, though I guess that would be the work of a

NOCEDA

Back again with the trees good lord, it means field of nut trees, so again I went into prominent people an found this guy named jorge noceda sanchez, he was a painter and some of his works are kinda baller actually it seems like something that would fit in on the isles, but also not all of the names have a deeper meanings, names like

PORTER

Ok I am like pretty sure this was just meant to be a play on the fact that gus’ dad’s name is perry and is a reporter, get it, perry porter, perry porter, reporter, but nonetheless I did some digging because why the heck not, it means doorkeeper, or gate keeper, someone who guards something like an important building, which honestly I think this would be a good last name for hooty if he ever gets one, but again not all of these are important names at the moment, or maybe they won't ever be at all, names like

PARK

At first I was kinda like l m a o willow park plant girl hahahahah plants in the park parks have trees willow is a tree but then I remembered that someone pointed out that park is a traditionally korean surname and then like a week later disney posted about it for aisian pacific american heritage month which kind of confirmed it, and I don’t know if the whole intention behind it was to establish willow as representation or not, but the surname park by itself means gourd and willow I am so sorry that is so unfortunate LMAOSIFN

BUMP

To be honest I was not expecting bump to have a last name that meant anything but it means swift walker and I think thats funny so you have to know it now

MISCELLANEOUS

BELOS

BIIIITCH LISTEN UPPPP there is a butt tone of mythology surrounding his name and its mostly a different form of it, belus, that is referenced, but same thing different shape. Most of his depiction is as a great king or ruler, in babylonian mythology being the equivalent of zeus of jupiter, which liiikkkkkeeeoajolnjojnkjakjavnjfvdfkjf but its fine everything is great its all ok most importantly, he is recognized as the god or ruler of war, and in that same mythology he lived in babylon, which “... was originally water, and called a sea. But Belus put an end to this, and assigned a district to each, and surrounded Babylon with a wall; and at the appointed time he disappeared.” and idk about you but the smell of him assigning a divide and disappearing smells sour like funky to me babes

HIERONYMUS AND BOSCHA

I am only putting this here because the fact that it’s totally a play on hieronymus bosch makes me cackle and you all have to know it thank you

ADEGAST

B-but brevyn he was only there for like one episode, yeah ok and? Radegast is the slavic god of hospitality, and there is no host like a host that pretends to take you on a mythical quest and then tries to eat you and your mentor and her deranged cat demon, ok? His name translates to “dear guest” or “welcomed guest” and I mean I think if my host tried to suck me into some fantasy would delusion i’d feel pretty welcomed

HOOTY

He is an owl

OWLBERT

He is also an owl

KIKIMORA

First and foremost, she is a little night gremlin who hates children and I think that really fits her, but she is also a little house demon, who is very difficult to get to leave, have we seen her outside the castle? Will she be a spy along with the mask next season? She also has a name that means nightmare or night demon, similar to a certain other night creature we might have heard of a while ago. She tried to strangle children and I love that for her,and she is described as a little old ugly messy haired lady and I feel like her current character has the personality of one so i’ll take it, but what really gets me is her villain origin story, which is that she "grows up with a magician in the mountains. From dawn to sunset the magician’s cat regales Kikimora with fantastic tales of ancient times and faraway places, as Kikimora rocks in a cradle made of crystal. It takes her seven years to reach maturity, by which time her head is no larger than a thimble and her body no wider than a strand of straw. Kikimora spins flax from dusk and to dawn, with evil intentions for the world.”

GWENDOLYN

Ok, the queen herself, haven’t met her yet but like who knows. Not really a whole lot here (my ears are ringing oops one sec ok i’m back hi) anyways um uh rings? Her name right off the bat has a lot to do with rings, and really that only applies to eda, because her ring was a big thing for her, she gave it to lilith, we all watched wing it like witches you know what’s up, but i mean like was that gwen’s ring? I really wanted the hand on eda’s wall to be gwen’s, very upset to see she has all of her body parts so far. I am also not sure if that’s how it’s spelled, but it means the same thing anyways. Also meaning fair or blessed, any woman who created both eda and lilith is probably mad powerful and we love to see it, also she’s a beastkeeper and i like i want to talk about that with eda’s curse but now is not the time for shenanigans (that’s a lie every time is the time for shenanigans i’m just exhausted)

RAYNE

Bitch, sorry, ok listen like um sidebar I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS CHARACTER AND YOU ALL NEED TO KNOW IT but also at this point i’m not really sure about this character, is this their name, is that even how it’s spelled, girl idfk but like whooptydooo I do what I want so cope. Right now, we are assuming that they are the new bard coven head character, and like let me tell you the way that I am fully pissing my pants atm like bestie, anyways, if spelled rayne, then it means counsel or song, and this is why, do you see why this is why we spell it like this? It’s also scandanavian which means like nothing but it’s cool. This spelling fits because like counsel, head of the bard coven, you get it it’s fine, and then song, also head of the bard coven, you know. It fits so well, especially since this is supposed to be a friend from eda’s past, and like is supposed to try and recruit eda for a rebellion against the emperor in the episode eda’s requiem, i cannot convey to you how goddamn excited I am like there are not enough words in this realm or any others to tell you how prepared i am for this character to rock my world.

GILBERT

I AM S O B B I N GGGGG apparently one of willow’s dad’s names is gilbert and that is literally so cute I cannot like actually this knowledge makes up for coronavirus anyways it means bright promise and idk what that even has to do with anything but I love it and you should to omg

Now i have to go update the other characters see you in hell <3

[the-thimble]

Rewatching the Netflix series "Love" created by Judd Aptaow, Paul Rust, and Lesley Arfin:

Rewatching the series after getting sober and staying that way for a bit as well as doing a lot of self-work and relationship work, I realized how much more this show said than what I thought it had almost 2 years ago now.

Having seen it before, rewatching with the knowledge that Guss' mom is an alcoholic, he and Mickey's love story makes so much more sense to me. He projects a manic pixie dream girl ideal onto her and then is quickly reminded of her human-ness. Refreshingly, as he watches her unfurl as she begins the process of sobriety, self-actualization, change, and healing. As their relationship progresses, you get to see how through her newfound and adamant honesty with herself and those around her she puts Gus in a position to turn the lense back in on himself and his own mal-coping mechanisms (co-dependency/people pleasing/being a push over/etc.) in a way that let's them both hold onto their personal agency and independence and feels like two people healing together with the reality of rough patches/etc. Neither is the others savior. I really love that about the show.

Anyway, back to the point I'm trying to make... My first time through, I identified with Mickey mostly. At the time I was also going through a lot of what she was wondering how I was going to make it out there. Giving myself to the wrong people, using, chasing after the first shiny thing to cross my path time after time... most importantly avoiding change past the time I should have and alienating those around me.

Now, having worked on myself and seeing how different my life has become after these past 2 years (1.5 of them being sober), I put this show on again remembering how much I needed it. This time through, and with knowing about Guss' family dynamic, along with how his own mother faced and still faces alcoholism within the show, it reached a part of me that grew up trying to live and love after being raised by an addicted parent. Of corse we are drawn to the love our parents taught us to recieve... that is why so many of us end up in bad relationships. Either because we try so hard to end up with someone so different that we forget our own desires for this need to feel safe above anything else, or we find someone so similar that we end up suffering the same way we did when we were little if for no other reason than the enemy you know is better than nothing. The enemy you know feels like home, even if its broken.

What I love about this show is that while Gus does have an initial attraction to Mickey, he doesn't truly start to fall for her until she becomes human to him by sharing her sobriety journey, as well as her journey with addiction to sex and love.

I can tell you from the perspective of an adult who grew up with an addicted parent that being met with someone who has the courage to say they fucked up, come to you as a human, and then actually try to get better... like really try, not just say they're going to... and not to attract you, but because they are putting it all out there to be a better person whether anyone likes it or not... they make your heart glow.

After growing up with an addicted parent, spending all this time wishing that they could heal, throwing yourself in the ring or watching others throwing themselves into the ring to help them battle their deamons, you grow desensitized to it to make it through. You, at some point, stop feeling any hope that they will ever try. You get older, get some distance, and either cut them out or love them from a distance. When they never change, you hold a place inside yourself that convinces you no one ever changes so that you don't get your expectations up again.

One day, you'll be walking down the street and you'll see someone walking into an aa/na meeting and you'll think, " they got up today and chose to try." One day you'll speak to someone who has had a rough go of it and out of all odds, they chose to take everything that happened to them and turn it into kindness towards others. One day you'll cry out in public with bruises all over your arms, and the waitress will sit next to you and without saying anything, put her hand on your shoulder just to let you know you're not alone, you don't have to say anything for her to understand exactly whats happened, but she tells you about all the jobs hiring nearby and that you can open a secret bank account with a hidden feature. One day you'll be buying hair dye and the woman helping you laughs with you when you talk about how your head got shaved, and when you say "yeah, I don't get drunk anymore" she smiles and says, "I have this job cause I don't drink anymore... good for us, yeah?".

And then you look around you... and every now and then you meet someone who decided to change. You see them trying their hardest to get better or try to figure themselves out. You see them facing their flaws and trying so hard to be better for not just the people around them, but to themselves... You see these people, and you love them. You see them out there in the world or even in your own. You see them and you know they're waking up and choosing to heal. Those people make me glow from the inside out with love. More importantly, they soften you a little bit. They let you to do the impossible again by allowing you to hope when could scarcely remember how.

Remembering to hope is what falling in love feels like. I think this show encapsulated that feeling quite well without sparing the gritty, cringy humanness of it all.

[multimetaverse]

Tyrus in 3c

I’ve gotten a lot of asks about what might happen with Tyrus in the rest of the season and I’ll use this post to answer them all. We can already tell by the fact that they started this story line without the audience actually knowing that TJ is gay and that he and Kira only have 3 eps left that most of this plot is going to be subtextual and off-screen. Things have to end on at least a strained note for Tyrus in 3x15, the real question is whether they reconcile in 3x19 or if they only end up on good terms again as they confess in 3x21. The latter is always an option with Disney’s restrictions but there are some reasons to be cautiously optimistic that we’ll get the former and I have to blindly hope that TJ and Cyrus won’t be made into victims and will be allowed to be the heroes of their own stories. This will be a long post but tldr: what we know of Kira’s screen-time suggests that she’s largely redeemed by the finale, some sort of big gesture is likely needed for TJ to truly apologize to Cyrus like a rap or hug, it’s noteworthy that TJ’s scenes in 3x19 are all at school, and there are some interesting similarities between what’s going on with Jandi and Tyrus and noticeable differences between what’s going on with those ships and Muffy.

TJ and Kira have 3 eps left while Marty has 4-5 and Amber has 6 so already we can tell which story lines are most important. TJ disappears for three eps after 3x15 which is the longest he’s been away since he returned this season and the longest they seem willing to let the important love interests be off-screen. The gap is largely because the wedding is in 3x18 and TJ isn’t allowed to be there but eps 16-18 are likely to span at least several weeks in universe and suggests an opportunity for off screen growth and change on his part. Perhaps most importantly we know for the finale that Raquel was only on set for one day and that was the same day that all of the other main and recurring kids were on set so Kira is not going to get very much screen-time in the finale which along with the fact that she is even at the party suggests she’s already on good terms with Cyrus and TJ.

We know that Raquel was on set for only one day for 3x15 and it seems likely that Luke was only on set for a day as well during the filming of an outdoor basketball game with teen boy players; probably the same set up we saw in 3x13. This must be where Cyrus tries to talk with TJ but doesn’t really get anywhere, it will be interesting to see how angsty of a note they end on and if it’s meant to be something that sticks with us or something that they want us to forget about until 3x19. Fwiw it does look like TJ is wearing the same camo hoodie in 3x15 as he was in 3x07 so an angsty callback to’’ you’re the only person I can talk to like this’’ may be in the cards. Raquel never posted from set during 3x19 (presumably that’s when she appears though if she for some reason needed to have solo scenes with Cyrus she could potentially appear in 3x16 or 3x17). She wasn’t seen in any of the casts posts from that week so she likely wasn’t on set for more than a day for that ep either. 

Three days of filming spread over 3 eps means Kira will be lucky to have more than 5 minutes of screen-time the rest of the season and that her redemption arc will have to be fairly quick. I have to hope that her redemption arc will begin in 3x15 when she realizes or is made to realize the hurt she’s caused TJ and Cyrus. Since Raquel confirmed that Kira knows what’s up with Tyrus I’d expect that the only way to redeem her would be for her to become TJ’s Buffy and support him in his sexuality as Buffy has with Cyrus which would mostly happen off screen but since they’re willing to let them have solo scenes could begin in 3x15, maybe with Kira offering to hear TJ out if he wants to talk. We need to see something from her that shows that she’s not an evil person and that she can learn to do the right thing. 

I’d expect this plot line to look like a peer pressure/manipulation/being true to yourself plot line to little kids and the fear of homophobia story line it is supposed to be for older audiences. It looks like they’re trying to show a coming out story line where the fear isn’t internalized homophobia such as it was with Cyrus but external homophobia but I think that difference will escape much of the audience. We’ve seen TJ be so happy to hang with Cyrus at school or the park or at the spoon or at his work or with his friends so I wonder what little kids think of him suddenly being afraid to be seen matching with Cyrus. 

Where does this leave Cyrus after 3x15? Again the audience has never had it confirmed that Cyrus likes TJ so that affects how the audience sees this conflict. Is he going to be allowed to talk about what’s going on with his friends or will this just be ignored until 3x19? Letting TJ be able to have solo scenes with Kira means that the show can wall this plot off from the rest of the show until 3x19 which is the route they’re going, I fear. 

For Cyrus I think this will primarily look to him like TJ is ashamed to be close to him which is why I find it noteworthy that TJ is at school in 3x19 especially since before the re-shoots 3x19 was the last time the show filmed scenes at school. Cyrus feeling that TJ doesn’t want to be close to him would be devastating for Cyrus even if he’s not allowed to express it on screen. They had TJ say I’m sorry for the first time in 3x13 and he can say it again to Cyrus but I think TJ needs to show Cyrus that he’s important to him. 

Jonah left Cyrus upset after refusing to wear their matching jackets in S1 and even though Jonah didn’t realize or care the hurt he caused Cyrus he did end up making it up to him by publicly praising him at the awards dinner and giving him a space otters jersey and a hug. I don’t think TJ’s apology would get anywhere near that level of attention but I think another rap is likely but this time it’s a more personal message from TJ to Cyrus. Or something like a hug or a callback to’’ He’s with me’’ from 2x08, something that shows Cyrus that he’s important to TJ. I’d imagine Kira would have to help out with whatever spurs their reconciliation so the audience at least doesn’t hate her anymore. I’m not saying TJ has to jump on stage and rap or hug Cyrus on stage but some sort of moment at the school in front of at least a couple of other people is needed for Tyrus to move past this conflict.

Luke was on set for two days in 3x19 and he and Josh had at least one wardrobe change so we’re probably looking at more than one day in universe. The potential Jandi and Tyrus scenes at the game could be very important as I’ll get in to in a bit. It also looks like TJ may have scenes with Buffy and Cyrus and Cyrus has a scene with Gus in the theatre which suggests Cyrus is getting more focus than usual and could be set up for a callback to 3x13 where Cyrus was miserable on stage but in 3x19 he’s happy. 

So far in S3 Tyrus has been cycling through all their big moments: muffin, swings, dyscalculia, and somersaults. If the pattern holds we should get a look back in 3x15. I do think the audience needs something to show that TJ is gay and has a crush on Cyrus if this plot is to have any hope of succeeding. It mirrors something that @cyrusgoodboye noted after S2 aired; that in 2x12 Andi listed all the things Jonah had failed to do in what she thought was their relationship and then in 2b Jonah did all those things in the order she listed as they rekindled their relationship. 

One thing that really caught my eye in 3x13 is the out of nowhere Jandi/Tyrus parallel they threw in with both Jonah and TJ letting down Andi and Cyrus (though for obviously different reasons). All of the GHC have a thing for sporty white guys but Andi and Cyrus have a more specific type: green eyed captains with hidden depths and secrets and poor coping mechanisms; which is why the both liked Jonah in S1. Andi and Cyrus are more alike than they are with Buffy just as Jonah and TJ are more alike than they are with Marty. Jonah and TJ have been written as foils from the beginning of TJ’s arc and the show even invented a past for them and has now established them as friends. 

In contrast things are going much smoother for Muffy. The show could have dug into Marty icing Buffy out but the show blamed Buffy and dismissed it out of hand. That’s not to say they won’t have drama and angst but ‘’the boy I like has a girlfriend’’  is an order of magnitude less than the issues Andi and Jonah and Cyrus and TJ are facing. What’s also interesting is that Muffy is the only endgame couple that are together by the wedding. We know that Machel sinks in 3x17 as Marty is at the wedding in 3x18; he’s not there as Buffy’s platonic plus one. But obviously Tyrus doesn’t canon until 3x21 and Jonah singing You Girl to Andi isn’t until 3x20 which seems like that’s the big Jandi get back together moment. So both Jandi and Tyrus having scenes together in 3x19 shortly before they canon is very interesting timing and opens up the potential for more endgame parallels.

Another reason I think there may be another rap is that Terri does like to recycle her work and Cyrus realized his crush on TJ during the first rapology and during the second he could realize that TJ likes him back; it’s like poetry it rhymes. It would also create another parallel between Tyrus and Jandi as both of their love interests make a big gesture. 

That’s not to say that Tyrus will get anywhere near the attention Jandi or even Muffy gets, it’s far too late for that, but it is interesting that the writers seem to be linking Tyrus with Jandi more so than Muffy; it does suggest a certain ambition on their part even if those ambitions are frustrated. 

There are lots of interesting paths for the show to take in 3x19, but as always when it involves Cyrus’ story line, it’s a question of what they’ll be allowed to do. We have Andi and Jonah and Cyrus and TJ in the same scenes for only the 3rd time in the show and the first time they’ve been at the same game since 2x18. There’s potential for Jonah to call back to his ‘’are they friends’’ line and they’ve gone out of their way to make Jonah and TJ friends, will there be any pay off to that? Jonah knows that Cyrus is gay and knows what a look back means, Andi knows that Cyrus is gay and suspects TJ has a crush on Cyrus and is only allowed into Cyrus’ sexuality story line rarely, Buffy would be at the game and she knows that Cyrus is gay and suspects that TJ has a crush on Cyrus and has always been Cyrus’ staunchest supporter, hell Cyrus even has scenes at the spoon with Amber who knows what look backs mean.

The posters we saw in 3x07 spell out the endgame of all this; for TJ to take pride in who he is and for Kira to learn to respect others. Does TJ resuming his openly affectionate ways give Cyrus the confidence to decide to come out to him? The narrative is asking TJ to in a fairly quick time span be okay with being out to the whole world; something it has never demanded of Cyrus. With Andi, Buffy, Jonah, and Kira all knowing about them does that mean Cyrus and TJ will be allowed to act coupley in front of everyone at the party after they confess or can only those four other characters know? Does TJ even have scenes with Marty and Amber? Bex and Bowie are at the party and Bex likely knows that Cyrus is gay from their talk in 2x07 and both of them know who TJ is from 2x18, are they allowed to be the supportive adults who congratulate Cyrus or must they be kept in the dark as well? I can only hope that Terri managed to convince Gary Marsh  to  let her pull off a satisfying arc in these remaining eps

[surejo]

( victoria pedretti, cis woman ) hey ! have you seen JOSEPHINE “JO” CORMAC around ? SHE works at the HOT COCOA STAND at big bear resort, but they must be off their shift by now. well, if you do see them can you let me know ? they’re 24 years old & they’ve been working here for TWO YEARS. they tend to be +OPTIMISTIC & +EMPATHETIC, but can also be -IMPRACTICAL & -PASSIVE. the other employees have labeled them THE IDEALIST. thanks a lot ! ( the few nights the stars can be seen, books worn down by dog-ears and marks left throughout the years, the first crisp breeze of autumn, the duality… of t.s. eliot ) 

OK. a few notes before i get started:

1) i hope everyone loves how i literally j copied my ivan stuff. url format? ‘sure jan’ lives on. theme? too lazy to find a different one that’s easy to work with. luv that for me. 2) speaking of this theme i forget if i addressed this on ivan’s blog but tabbed bullets don’t appear tabbed.... so if anything seems like it doesn’t make total sense.... it is supposed to be tabbed™. 3) get ready for drama!!!!! you may ask yourself “but the app looks so tame! there will be no drama!” but you are wrong........ because she loves cats. the t.s. eliot book......... the musical........ even the movie.

ok jo,, is also a resurrected character,,, hence how i already kno,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, that she loves cats. anyway ! let’s begin ! (listen,,,, the intro format will at least be a little different from ivan’s ok im evolving)

QUICK FACTS:

full name: josephine “jo” rose cormac

date of birth: march 6, 1995

*does not perfectly reflect the below big three zodiac chart because that’s too much math

zodiac big three: pisces sun, gemini moon, cancer rising

gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her

sexual orientation: bisexual ( preference for women bc we luv that for her but we also luv leaving things open to chemistry )

education: bachelor in english - literature that she is doing nothing with

enneagram: 2w1

mbti: infp

various inspirations: eleanor crain ( the haunting of hill house ), dolores price *as a child and towards the end of the book ( she’s come undone ), fox 8 ( fox 8: a story ), “why try to change me now?” - fiona apple (cover), “be still” - the killers

BACKGROUND INFO:

triggers: verbal/mental/emotional abuse/gaslighting, very slight implication of spousal abuse, brief mention of car accident/death & drowning

( ivan and jo’s breakout pop-punk single: “fuck happy backstories!” stream it on spotify ! )

jo......... was born into the wrong family, let’s get that out of the way.

it was pretty clear she was a ploy to save the marriage of her parents ( who have names: lucy and benjamin, luv that for them ). it didn’t seem like they’d ever picked up a parenting book, gone to a parenting class, rly prepped for being a parent at all...... in their entire lives.

that being said, her mom was actually decent at parenting. her major flaw, though? ok, so you know how kids usually have that one bedtime story that they love and want it to be read to them over and over? well lucy complied ! but y’all wanna know what that book was ?

t.s. eliot’s “old possum’s book of practical cats” whfeiuldjkn

anyway ! when jo was seven, after many failed attempts and simple threats, her mom was finally divorcing benjamin for realz. due to his volatile nature, it was becoming very clear that she was the more fit parent and she almost got sole custody ( the only reason benjamin was motivated for it in the first place was the power so?? )! how exciting!

but the keyword is ‘almost’!

alexa, play ‘my heart will go on’ but the off-tune flute version

just as the proceedings were going through, jo’s mother was hit by a drunk driver on new year’s eve. the car skidded onto some ice, minimal damage done... then the ice broke.

jo and benjamin both devolved after that. jo withdrew more into herself and pretty much coped by..... just reading old possum’s a LOT (hate that for her). all mopey, benjamin became much less outwardly violent. the keyword is ‘outwardly.’

ya, instead of j bein like “i will just chill” he was like “i will just make my rage more subtle because in this house, we love intimidation, manipulation, hostility, the blame game, and gaslighting! uwu” managed to convince jo that her mother’s death was somehow her fault, that he was the only person she could trust, that she will never be able to live without someone else, etc., etc.

a few years in and a cycle of many impromptu sleepovers began. luv that for her. hate that for her, but luv that for her. 

there is a lot i cld talk abt here, but it all seems like it cld j be tl;dr’d as: “basically became the surrogate daughter of a bunch of other people”

as for things that r not tragique™, jo was v much a drifter when it came to friends. managed to make a fair amount bc she does not seem like she will put a tadpole in ur hand like ivan. also j a people-pleaser but that’s starting to get into her personality which is another section.

did go to college. luv that for her. has NO CLUE what she’s going to do with her degree, but she can make some really sick niche william faulkner jokes. 

began seasonally working at big bear during the winter break of her last year in college because bitch needed some money!! wound up loving it and was like “i think,,,, i will continue to do this,,,, the people here,,,, r cul,,,,”

still visits benjamin every once in a while. not a way to say that uwu you should forgive ur abusive parent(s) uwu rather that jo.... still has slight belief in him. just to end on something emo.

THE REST IS HISTORY!!!!

TL;DR:

started life out as a saddie, not a baddie. still not a baddie, but no longer as much of a saddie. loves “cats” and there is no irony to that statement. can make good niche literary jokes, but that’s about it.

PERSONALITY/MISCELLANEOUS INFO:

a child. a literal child. a child to the point that she should have supervision when she goes on grocery trips because she falls for marketing ploys so easily. can’t believe she hasn’t fallen into a pyramid scheme yet.

an absolute dumbass. again, can make some great niche william faulkner jokes, but ask her the order of the planets? “...well mars is somewhere in there.”

unironically LOVES cats - both the musical and movie. thinks jennifer hudson’s grizabella is the best. will start sharing random facts about it or old possum’s book of practical cats if she runs out of things to talk about but feels pressured to keep talking. was broken when she first read a different t.s. eliot poem and realized he was actually super dark. the only thing that got her through it was a comparison to batman :\ bruce wayne is old possum’s, batman is everything else.

to take a brief break from fun personality facts, v down on herself bc benjamin’s words rly!! stuck with her!! convinced she is an absolute idiot and does not trust her own memory. v indecisive bc of this and always longs for someone to help her figure things out. tries to distance herself from memories of her mother because, again, benjamin got to her. her love of cats doesn’t help that, but... can you believe that’s her coping mechanism? makes up for it by giving all of her love 2 everyone else!! we love tragedy!! and needing to go to therapy!!

secretly knows her love of cats is weird and dumb. a part of her knows why it’s considered one of the worst musicals ever. but LISTEN. we luv rly weird coping mechanisms!

big dreamer. will develop the most impractical goals. she usually knows they are impractical, but still..... uwu

has decided everyone is good until proven bad! except for,,,, like,,, murderers and rapists,,,,

is #StraightEdge for the most part,,,, literally has a drink maybe three times per year

says “like” a whole lot for someone who majored in english with a concentration in literature and should therefore be more eloquent.

i am not great at these sections!! feel free 2 j refer to her zodiac, personality tests, and character influences!!

literally fox 8. i put the others there bc she’s similar but wow,,,, if u read fox 8 (it’s a short story i recommend it i luv george saunders u can find a pdf online),,,, she is fox 8. 

here u go here is a sample that doesnt need context: "Fox 4 woslike: No ofense, Fox 8? Your ideas are not super praktikal. Dreem, dreem, dreem, said Fox 11. Fox 41 woslike: Fox 8, does this honestly never get old for you?"

OH ALSO. she has a slet. a cat,,,,, named asparagus,,,, whom she calls “gus”,,,,, and y’all know WHY.

recent development: has downloaded tor so she can get on the dark web. why? because she thinks there will be more funny animal videos on there. is shockingly good at navigating it.

CONNECTION IDEAS:

close friends bc we luv that –– roman (nuanced), aylie (nuanced), hazel (nuanced), cleo (nuanced), vic (nuanced), marco (nuanced)

childhood friends whom she possibly had impromptu sleepovers with bc that is v soft and,,,,, y’all i left the city blank for a reason. –– hazel, marco, 

on that note, the person who was like “wait,,,,,,, u know that book was turned into a musical right,,,,,, like,,,,, a musical literally everyone knows” and shook jo’s world

good influence / bad influence –– cleo, vic, 

~*confidant*~

roommate

exes –– ian,

reciprocated pining

unreciprocated pining

someone..... who has accepted..... that she likes cats.... in a way that is not ironic. will see the movie with her. –– aylie, 

an enemy,,,,,, aka this person was like “cats is literally the worst thing in the entire world” and now they r on jo’s very short hit list –– riley

idk!!! im also obvs up for brainstorming!!! luv that!!!

** descriptive connections page is here ( only people who i’m messaging are on it, but i ?? would love to plot w everyone ?? so don’t make the short list make u think i’m trying 2 limit it 2 these ppl auhfoeidla )

LIKE THIS OR HMU TO PLOT !

[wazafam]

Recess and SpongeBob SquarePants are two of the most popular children's television shows of all time, with each series boasting some vibrant personalities. While SpongeBob took place under the sea, and Recess being set in a school, the two shows have clear similarities in the moral lessons that they teach viewers, all being done within a fun story that is filled with comedy.

RELATED: 5 Reasons Why Disney Channel Is The Definitive Childhood Network (& 5 Why It's Nickelodeon)

But if the characters of Recess were able to float on down to Bikini Bottom, who would get along, and which characters would fight so much that they'd wind up in detention? Would TJ be able to deal with SpongeBob's energy, and could Squidward cope with Mikey's singing?

10 Would Work: Gretchen Grundler & Karen Plankton

When it comes to the intelligence within these shows, Gretchen Grundler and Karen Plankton are certainly near the top of the list. Gretchen may only be young, but she is wise beyond her years, she studies hard and has a real interest in learning new things.

That is why Karen Plankton would be an ideal friend for her, as she's also smart, and a great conversationalist. While she is a computer, that doesn't mean that Karen lacks personality. Both of these characters can be sassy when they want, and together they'd just have fun learning and doing experiments.

9 Wouldn't Work: King Bob & Patrick Star

King Bob is one of the supporting characters from Recess, and at times he can be a bully, giving nobody any respect within the playground. Bob likes to see himself as someone who is on top and in charge and he has no problem being rude to others, which would likely upset Patrick.

RELATED: 10 Technologies Disney Channel Original Movies Predicted Years Ago

Patrick is the opposite of Bob, as he is the kindest soul in Bikini Bottom. While he might not be the most intelligent character, he is someone who is caring and simply wants to spend time with his friends, so someone as bossy as Bob wouldn't be a good friend to him.

8 Would Work: Ashley Spinelli & Sandy Cheeks

Ashley Spinelli and Sandy Cheeks are two of the lead characters within their shows, and they both bring a lot of fun to them. They're both loyal friends who will do anything for others if asked, and they provide plenty of comedy to the shows, which would lead to them working well as friends.

However, while they can be friendly characters, both Sandy and Ashley have no problem in showcasing their strength and getting physical either. They're strong female characters who will stand up to anybody, and together, that would make them excellent friends.

7 Wouldn't Work: Miss Finster & Gary

Miss Finster is a grouchy character who doesn't really like others. She has no interest in helping others or being nurturing to people and instead is just focused on doing her job, no matter how strict she has to be with people.

RELATED: Football-Playing King In Space: 10 Funniest Sports-Related Moments In Spongebob, Ranked

Miss Finster wouldn't have the patience to try and get to know and understand Gary, which is needed in order to be friends with him. Gary does have a fun personality, much like his owner, and that would only irritate Miss Finster even further.

6 Would Work: Principal Prickly & Mr. Krabs

While Principal Prickly is sometimes seen as the villain of Recess, that isn't really the case. He can be quite grouchy at times, but a lot of that is down to the position he's in as the Principal, which is very similar to Mr. Krabs, who is notorious for being cantankerous.

However, despite both of these characters being a little grumpy (which would work in their favor as friends), they're both soft on the inside. Ultimately, they're just trying to do the best by the businesses that they're involved with, having to deal with a lot of people that they find annoying at times as well.

5 Wouldn't Work: Miss Grotke & Mrs. Puff

Miss Grotke and Mrs. Puff might both be in the teaching profession, but that doesn't mean they'd work out as friends. While Miss Grotke teaches a class and Mrs. Puff teaches people to drive, that's where the similarities end for them.

Miss Grotke is kind and patient, being calm under pressure, always looking to get the best out of others in a reasonable manner. Whereas Mrs. Puff is known for having anger issues at times, particularly when dealing with SpongeBob, and their differing personalities would lead to this being a clash.

4 Would Work: Randall Weems & Plankton

Two villains from their respective shows would work out as great friends if they were to meet. Both Randall and Plankton are sneaky and cunning, hoping to gain any type of advantage over their rivals, no matter what the situation is.

RELATED: SpongeBob SquarePants: 10 Potential Friendships We Would Have Loved To See (That Never Happened)

They're both quite emotional characters as well, which is mainly because they don't get the attention and kindness that they hope to from many others. They might not be the most popular characters in their respective shows, but they'd be great friends to each other, with Randall being someone who would help Plankton as much as possible to get the Krabby Patty recipe.

3 Wouldn't Work: Gus Griswald & Larry The Lobster

Gus Griswald is the sweetest character from Recess and someone who can be emotional at times. He wears his heart on his sleeve and is chatty around his close friends, but in reality, Gus is shy and prefers to keep to himself, which is the opposite of Larry The Lobster.

Larry is always keen to show off as much as possible, letting the rest of Bikini Bottom know just how great he thinks he is. While he is a nice character, for the most part, he'd likely be too much for Gus, which is why they wouldn't get along.

2 Would Work: T.J. Detweiler & SpongeBob SquarePants

The two main characters of their respective shows would become great friends if they were put together, which is mainly due to their neverending energy. Both of these characters push out a huge amount of positivity, always looking to make others happy and go on as many adventures as possible.

While they sometimes make mistakes along the way and can be a little too much at times for some people, together they'd have a lot of fun. Both of them like to be busy at all times and always try their best to help others, with their personalities being so similar, there's no doubt they'd be friends.

1 Wouldn't Work: Vince Lasalle & Squidward Tentacles

Vince Lasalle is seen as one of the coolest kids in class at school, which is mainly due to his sporty and athletic background. However, he is someone who brings a lot of energy to everything that he does, and that is why Squidward wouldn't get along with him.

Squidward's relationship with SpongeBob himself is a great example of why they wouldn't get along. Squidward tolerates SpongeBob, and he would likely do the same with Vince. There would simply be too much energy and excitement for him, and with Vince being a keen talker and Squidward preferring to keep to himself, they simply wouldn't connect.

NEXT: SpongeBob Squarepants: 10 Plot Holes That Aren't Actually Plot Holes

SpongeBob SquarePants Meets Recess: 5 Friendships That Would Work (& 5 That Wouldn’t) from https://ift.tt/2OWHKLH

[angeltriestoblog]

I watched a couple of movies! (Part 2)

Back again with the second bunch of my latest quarantine companions! My last post wasn't that long ago, but I’ve already gone through an additional 21 and thanks to the extension of the lockdown and the abrupt cancellation of the rest of my sophomore year in college, I predict that this number will only increase exponentially. I obviously have to start looking for a sustainable way of reviewing the media I consume (probably will try dumping mini-reviews on Letterboxd instead), but until then, here is today’s little catalog: divided into four neat categories so there’s a little bit of everything for everyone.

Dead Poets Society (1989, dir. Peter Weir) ★★★★½

John Keating is the teacher we secretly deserved yet never had, which is probably what's behind the fervent loyalty audiences have had for this movie since its release around three decades ago. His methods of teaching are admittedly unorthodox, but they effectively instill in fictional students and real-life audiences the core message: to seize the day and be extraordinary. I definitely would have appreciated more of Williams, though: I noticed later on that he was used mostly as a plot device, as the focus started to shift to the impact his words had on the group of young boys under his tutelage. But, thankfully they are endearing and lovable in their own little ways (special mention goes to ambitious Neil, played by Robert Sean Leonard; and Ethan Hawke as timid Todd), which is why the last half-hour remains one of the heaviest in recent memory.

Mrs. Doubtfire (1993, dir. Chris Columbus) ★★★★

When Daniel Hillard’s (Robin Williams) wife splits up with him and takes their kids, he disguises himself as an English nanny called Mrs. Doubtfire and applies as their housekeeper to be with them. Not exactly the most realistic and practical approach to an issue as serious as divorce, but it succeeds by banking on heartfelt humor to strike a chord in products of broken families. When you take his several antics, punchlines, and vocal impersonations aside, he is simply a father willing to do anything for his children. Williams was destined to be the lead for this: his comedic timing, sheer versatility, and natural ability to bring joy remain unparalleled. Such a shame I didn't get to grow up with this guy, but maybe this saved me a lot of heartbreak.

Catch Me If You Can (2002, dir. Steven Spielberg) ★★★★★

A con man successfully cashes in millions of dollars worth of checks as a Pan Am pilot, doctor, and lawyer, whilst evading the FBI agent who’s hot on his heels. And this is all before he turns 19 years old--what a total underachiever. The best part? It’s a true story. I find it hard to believe that this clever cat-and-mouse story lasted more than two hours: it's easy to lose track of time thanks to its dynamic and snappy screenplay, coupled with the chemistry of its brilliant lead actors (no less than Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks). But beneath the complex and technical aspects of his scams that have high entertainment and educational value lie touching moments that may be admittedly easy to miss. At the end of the day, these escapades were nothing but some twisted coping mechanism of Frank Abagnale, Jr.’s to deal with the divorce of his parents. *blows nose into handkerchief* Wow, I seriously didn't think something could be so fast and fun, yet so depressing either!

Good Will Hunting (1997, dir. Gus Van Sant) ★★★★★

Academy Award-winning writers Matt Damon and Ben Affleck may look like they share a solitary brain cell in total (a prime example would be this footage of their acceptance speech), but it was the power that radiated from that which brought us this instant favorite of mine. This engrossing story revolves around a janitor at MIT, with a genius-level IQ but a troubled and traumatic past. A scuffle with a police officer leads him to Sean, his therapist (and platonic soulmate) who breaks down his dangerous defense mechanisms and self-destructive patterns, helps him tackle his inner demons, and ultimately transforms his life. There is a lot to adore about this film that’s equal parts wit and heart, but my favorite has to be the razor-sharp and realistic dialogue between Damon and Williams. Smoothly transitioning from topic to topic—genuine friendship, abusive relationships, and everything in between—it gives us the opportunity to monitor Will’s growth while carefully examining these aspects of our own lives. With every word said, the audience is reminded once again of any person's innate capacity to change for the better as long as someone else believes in them.

Lost in Translation (2003, dir. Sofia Coppola) ★★★

Film Twitter and the Letterboxd community both made this out to be an outstanding piece of modern cinema, so I went in with very high expectations only to be sorely disappointed and unable to understand the hype behind it. This revolves around two lonely people who find solace in each other and the unfamiliar and unpredictable territory they're in, a storyline brimming with potential that just fell flat to me. I normally appreciate the beauty in silent and ambient scenes, but the ones that made up a huge bulk of this feature didn’t have substance—it was similar to watching mashed-up clips from some random travel vlog. I did find the choice of location fitting though, I am now a hundred percent convinced I should travel to Japan once this pandemic is over. And Scarlett Johansson is incredibly talented for her age: her ability to channel and characterize emotions that a 17-year-old may not even be able to comprehend is above par, which is the main reason why this gets a passing rating from me.

Forrest Gump (1994, dir. Robert Zemeckis) ★★★★★

What I would give to run into a chocolate-eating, Nike Cortez-wearing Forrest Gump at a bus stop, and hear him tell me these fantastic stories himself! This heartwarming tale shows the manner in which he weaved himself into significant historical narratives (literally and figuratively, thanks to the power of deepfake) and injects timeless lessons along the way. Tom Hanks is undoubtedly brilliant as the titular role, and as we see the world according to this feeble-minded and well-meaning man, we come to admire his values, appreciate his efforts, and forgive his occasional shortcomings. In this fast-paced and overly complicated world that we struggle to navigate, this can serve as a necessary breather, a reminder of the simple joys that the world has to offer.

Celeste and Jesse Forever (2012, dir. Lee Toland Krieger) ★★★★

I think this is the first time I’ve witnessed a breakup end rather amicably on the big screen: there's no screamfest that concludes with a cold slap to the face and a dramatic walkout, or a courtroom confrontation that unearths past transgressions, et cetera. Instead, the leads are forced to confront the fact that the friendship they have forged years before that eventually blossomed into something more will never be the same again. Even if they want to so, so bad. I guess that’s why this is so heartbreaking, and thus the perfect companion for any person in the process of finding themselves after the demise of a long-term relationship. Celeste (Rashida Jones) meanders through the process with an extreme lack of finesse—which is the most realistic way to do so—that heavily accentuates her several fatal flaws. But, she manages to finish strong, emerging as a self-reflective and action-driven version of who she was in the beginning. I definitely wanted additional exposure for Jesse (Andy Samberg), though, who was not only surprisingly tender and sensitive in contrast to the Jake Peralta we know and love (and want to pick on), but also an unexpected perfect onscreen match for Jones.

A Star is Born (2018, dir. Bradley Cooper) ★★★★

The third remake of the 1937 movie starring Janet Gaynor and Fredric March, this edition of A Star is Born strays far from the paths traversed by its predecessors (and this I am aware of, from that film analysis video binge I did recently). It’s the first to give Jackson Maine (Bradley Cooper), the has-been with a raging alcohol and drug problem, extensive back story that draws audiences closer to him. But, this character arc comes at the expense of Ally's, the talented singer that he propels to fame, played by Lady Gaga. It was a shame she wasn’t fleshed out as much as she should have been, given that Gaga was a natural, her vulnerability a far cry from her outrageous onstage persona. But, then again, expectations must be kept realistic: it would’ve been impossible to cram that into the specified duration. Nevertheless, I thoroughly appreciated it: though rehashed several times, a romance done this way keeps its key components while catering to the preferences of this generation. The soundtrack is outstanding, and the climax—though somewhat expected—finds new ways to reduce us to a puddle of tears, particularly as the last song number start to roll.

Fall in Love At First Kiss (2019, dir. Frankie Chen) ★★½

Our Times has been a favorite of mine for years, so I couldn't believe that I missed this work from the same director which starred the same male lead during its initial release. Turns out it didn’t make much of a difference whether I watched it or not. The storyline was silly, but forgivably so: in a school where students are segregated based on intelligence, a stupid girl is smitten by the smartest boy in school and gets rejected as soon as she confesses. Consequently, hell breaks loose after they are forced to live together for reasons you have to see to believe. I remember enjoying the first half, squirming in my seat because of Jiang Zhishu (Darren Wang) every chance I'd get. I can’t pinpoint where exactly it started going wrong, but I remember realizing that it is possible for something to drag along, yet also move so fast: to bore me with excessive detail in a single scene, then cut to the next so fast it loses a sense of continuity. In addition to that, the female lead (Jelly Lin) was so unbearable in terms of her acting style and character development (or lack thereof). She seemed to think that constantly complaining in her shrill voice and thrashing her limbs was a fitting substitute for dialogue, thus making it difficult to want her to get her happily ever after. Also, I’ve had pretty intense crushes in the past few years but what she has for Zhishu is bordering more on an unhealthy obsession—I have trouble believing he reacted so calmly to the shrine that she built for him (which included life-size pillows with his face on it).

The Object of My Affection (1998, dir. Nicolas Hytner) ★★½

I was very confused as to why I had never heard of a chick flick that starred two of my favorite actors from the 90s, but now I understand why it didn't take off. (Phoebe would probably share my sentiments. What's her best friend doing with her husband anyway? And why is he attracted to men?) Nina (Jennifer Aniston) is hopelessly in love with her gay best friend George (Paul Rudd), so much so that she decides she wants to raise her unborn child with him instead of with her overbearing and borderline manipulative boyfriend (John Pankow). Though it wasn't a complete disaster given that she didn't successfully convert him, Nina was far too demanding, constantly overstepping her boundaries, and feeding her delusions. Maybe it could afford a modern retelling since I know our generation could tackle the concepts of platonic soulmates and LGBTQ+ relationships in a way that is simultaneously vibrant and sensitive.

How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days (2003, dir. Donald Petrie) ★★★★★

Once I had tried my luck in a number of different genres, I decided to reward myself with a return to the cheesy, corny, and conventional chick flicks I am familiar with—and I’m glad that I picked this one! Andie Anderson (Kate Hudson) is a magazine columnist with her biggest scoop yet: an article on how to lose a guy in 10 days. To test this idea out, she tries it out on Ben Barry (Matthew McConaughey), who’s on a mission to make a girl fall for him within that duration as well. Their conflicting agendas lead to disastrously hilarious results as they realize that they’re both *gasp* catching feelings for each other! I enjoyed this very much despite the predictability, although I’m honestly unable to judge it based on any criteria other than what I felt which was pure and utter, slamming-the-table, throwing-my-stuffed-toy-across-the-room “kilig”.

Just My Luck (2006, dir. Donald Petrie) ★½

I didn’t expect this to be on the forgettable side of the romcom spectrum, when it had Chris Pine as the leading man and Brit-pop band McFly lending their music to most of the scenes (the sole redeeming factor I found). But, I guess it’s Lindsay Lohan’s character and her surprising lack of chemistry with the equally attractive and talented person opposite her that killed it for me. Here, she plays Ashley, the luckiest girl in the world who gets everything her way and is thus as snobbish and stuck-up as you’d expect her to be. A chance encounter brings her to Jake, who is the human equivalent of a black cat standing in front of a broken mirror, and swaps their fate. She is then left to deal with poorly contrived misfortunes with effects that are bordering on slapstick comedy: she gets doused in mud, mildly electrocuted, and soaked in bubbles shortly after blowing up a washing machine and I get that they’re probably supposed to be funny, but all I’m seeing is a live-action version of the Looney Tunes show.

Eighth Grade (2018, dir. Bo Burnham) ★★★★★

Entering our awkward preteen years has always come with a certain and specific kind of mortification, but I reckon it’s become increasingly difficult in the age of the Internet. It’s become easier to find fault in oneself for the pettiest of reasons: why isn’t my crush accepting my friend request? Why do I look like a monster in my #wokeuplikethis selfies? Why is no one viewing my YouTube videos even if I work hard on them? Eighth Grade encapsulates this difficult period in the lives of Gen Z kids with the use of experiences and references which are so specific to this generation: I may have gotten whiplash more times than I would care to admit. Elsie Fisher shines in her painfully relatable performance as Kayla: you can sense her desperation for social acceptance. She just wants to be worth noticing and remembering, is that so bad! Although his role is often overshadowed, I also felt for her dad (Josh Hamilton), who tries to hide the struggle of looking out for a daughter who's growing in ways he simply can't understand.

Boyhood (2014, dir. Richard Linklater) ★★★

This ambitious effort by the director of my favorite film trilogy observes the growth and development of a typical American boy named Mason. No fancy plot devices or major conflicts are in sight, but by using the keeping the cast members fixed during the 12 years it took to put this project together instead of swapping them out for older counterparts, audiences are expected to form an emotional connection with them because they were given an intimate and prolonged look into their lives. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the case for me. Yes, I did watch him grow up before my eyes, but I barely know who he is. These mundane snippets of his life haphazardly stitched together, without any indication of how much time has elapsed since the previous scene, made it hard to keep up with the pace and look at the viewing experience as anything but a chore. I honestly am puzzled as to why I endured 165 minutes (I’m kidding, it was for Ethan Hawke) worth of footage, and sadly it wasn’t even worth it.

Brooklyn (2015, dir. John Crowley) ★★★★

This drama about the migration of an Irish girl to New York to seek better opportunities delves into the concept of what home truly is, as Eilis is left to choose between two men from two different countries. Divided into three segments revolving around pivotal events in the protagonist’s life, it sensitively tackles the experiences and issues familiar to any immigrant, remains true to the period it is set in, and engaging to audience members of all ages. Most in the historical genre are incapable of doing all three, so that's definitely no mean feat! And I’m not biased because Saoirse Ronan plays the starring role, although her compelling performance renders it impossible for anyone who claims to have a beating heart to finish this without puffy eyes and a heavy chest.

Happy Old Year (2019, dir. Nawapol Thamrongrattanarit) ★★★★

I thought Chutimon Chuengcharoensukying couldn’t top her role in Bad Genius, but she just had to come along and star in this personal take on new beginnings. Here, she plays Jean, a girl in the process of decluttering her house so she can transform it into an office space. While sifting through her possessions, she finds certain things belonging to people from her past, that remind her of broken relationships and question her philosophies on forgiveness and letting go. Her performance may be understated compared to the cunning and reckless Lynn she has become popular for, but I see this mastery of restraint as indication of her growth as an actress. The film is relatively simple in its execution, staying true to its central theme of minimalism. By stripping the structure down to the bare essentials of actor and dialogue, the audience can focus on the poignancy ingrained in the most mundane part of our everyday routines.

The Edge of Seventeen (2016, dir. Kelly Fremon Craig) ★★★★

It's actually true that a coming-of-age movie has been written based on every definitive moment a teenage girl experiences, they weren’t lying. The Edge of Seventeen could serve as part of Eighth Grade's cinematic universe, but instead we’re dealing with another reflection of who we were (or maybe still are). Nadine (Hailee Steinfeld) is a teen constantly teetering between arrogant self-assurance and sheer hopelessness. When she loses her best friend to her worst nemesis, she suddenly has to learn to navigate the ups and downs of adolescence and deal with her mental illness on her own. Besides focusing on the several firsts that we often encounter during this stage in our lives, the film accurately portrays our angsty and self-deprecating nature without resorting to mockery, therefore calling us out on this reflex we have of beating ourselves up and giving those around us permission to do so during such a critical part of our lives. I swore I was actually going to try not to cry here, but I guess Nadine's tearful monologue left me with no choice. (I'll leave it below so you can suffer with me.)

You know, ever since we were little, I would get this feeling like, like I’m floating outside of my body, looking down at myself… and I hate what I see: how I’m acting, the way I sound, and I don’t know how to change it. And I’m so scared that the feeling is never gonna go away.

The Kingmaker (2019, dir. Lauren Greenfield) ★★★★

This documentary is a fitting introduction for anyone who isn't familiar with the ill-gotten wealth and abuses the Marcoses have lying underneath their glossy veneer of opulence as well as the consequences of their actions that we suffer from to this day. Greenfield’s juxtaposition of this family’s fabricated stories and the testimonies of victims and first-hand witnesses was a smart move, as we observe the lengths they often go to, to revise the course of history. By spotting the parallels in their narrative and that of Rodrigo Duterte, the next strongman the voting population would unfortunately elect as their leader, we are also given a glimpse into the selective amnesia of the Filipino people that keeps these people in power. The danger lies in the fact that being an outsider herself, Greenfield leaves plenty of room for interpretation: there is no clear-cut statement of what was right and wrong among the several interweaving statements we heard. I was able to determine which was which is due to the fact that I already had prior knowledge, but where does that leave those who don't?

By the way, if you’re wondering why this has been grouped under this category, it’s because I remembered from Grade 6 science class that anger is one way to trigger adrenaline in the body.

Inception (2010, dir. Christopher Nolan) ★★★★★

Perfect always felt like a lazy way to describe what is supposed to be of superior quality. If you want to sing praises about anything that good, you're gonna have to do a better job than that to convince anyone that it's worth their time: was it inventive and bold or cerebral or emotional? Well, I'm afraid I have to bend this rule for Inception for the sake of brevity, because if I leave myself to ramble on about everything this did right, I would surely run out of adjectives. This sci-fi-heist-psychological thriller is in a league of its own, with its intricate plot and layered method of storytelling further amplified by stellar cast performances, masterful editing and special effects, and a thundering musical score that keeps audiences on edge for the entirety of its run. These elements come together to create a production that resonates and lingers with viewers long after the credits have rolled, partly thanks to that highly disputed final scene. (If my opinion is worth anything here, I believed that it stopped. Iykyk.)

The Lobster (2015, dir. Yorgos Lanthimos) ★★★★½

In this dystopian society, single people are required to check into a hotel in the hopes of finding a suitable partner within 45 days. If they fail to do so, they are sentenced to live the rest of their lives as an animal of their choice. It’s an absurd plot, far removed from reality, executed in a bleak and dry fashion. Yet, it manages to mirror and even satirize the world of modern relationships rather profoundly, particularly the societal pressure to couple up and find our ideal match instantly, or face harsh judgment. I doubt I've watched anything this dark in my life, but I found the unpredictable twists and turns, the deadpan humor, the sheer strangeness of it all very amusing and recommend it to anybody who wants to learn a thing or two about how blind love can be.

Ocean’s Eleven (2001, dir. Steven Soderbergh) ★★★★

I admit I was as pissed as Rusty Ryan (Brad Pitt) following his discovery that the reason why Danny Ocean (George Clooney) was keen on carrying out an elaborate heist of the three biggest casinos in Las Vegas was to win his wife (Julia Roberts) back. But, along the way, I was reeled in by the airtight pacing of the multiple scams that were a part of the scheme and the natural banter that takes place among the members of the ensemble. Also, it’s quite impossible to be annoyed at something that starred so many big names during the peak of their careers. (I have a soft spot for Matt Damon, thanks a lot Good Will Hunting.) Although I already knew what was going to happen, it was a joyride to see everything unfold. Based on the ending (and the copies of Ocean’s Twelve and Thirteen that my dad owned as a kid), I can tell that it’s far from over and I’m surely looking forward to what happens next.

So, that’s it for today’s round-up! Hope something caught your interest: I’d be happy to send 123m*vies links for any of those that aren’t available on Netflix. Feel free to hit me up too: I'm honestly up for thought-provoking discussions and straight-up keyboard smashing. Wishing you love and light always, and don’t forget to wash your hands, check your privilege and pray for our frontliners!

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

First thoughts on 12x18...

The Memory Remains is is one of those episodes where I can’t really tell how much of the problematic-ness was done on purpose, and I don’t want to be ‘that person’ that goes around saying that nothing is problematic and everything is perfect, but I also doubt that the ‘wrong-ey’ things in the episodes were accidents, because accidents don’t happen accidentally and there is a pattern, and patterns rarely happen accidentally. Basically - was the fact that all the main characters were white men done on purpose? The waitress Carmen and the health inspector are there, kind of in the outskirts on the scene, we barely hear their voices, the camera barely fixates on them, and when it does they don’t really get their ‘own’ shots, but we look at them through other characters’ eyes. In an episode with so much focus on looking through eyes (we repeatedly see things through a mask’s eye holes), I think it’s probably done on purpose.

It’s a claustrophobic episode, both in setting and ‘atmosphere’. Almost everything happens in enclosed spaces (the bunker, which is literally a bunker; a fridge cell; a basement with a literal tiny cage in it...) and the vibe of the episode is claustrophobic, a virtual enclosed space of lies weaved by white dudes. Reminds you of something? The episode Thin Man was the same, in Thin Man there was a dude wearing a monster mask that others mistook for a real monster (but... who was a real monster, although human), there were secrets and lies and the monster was a dude with an inferiority complex and whatever. After Thin Man aired we discussed about the episode being about white men only, the only female character killed right away and just a plot device, and it made sense - it felt jarring, and claustrophobic, and wrong, just like this episode feels, because everything is supposed to feel wrong and jarring and uncomfortably enclosing, because the episode is about cages and traps and acting wrong.

When Ketch and his men leave, the lights and shadow form a bar pattern, just like the bars that were supposed to keep Moloch trapped in the basement. The episode is about people being trapped, and Dean and Sam are trapped by the British Men of Letters’ scheme, Ketch has trapped them with the fake messages from Mick and now the bunker has become a cage, they’re under surveillance... it’s like when they were arrested, but now they are ‘arrested’ in their own home, and they don’t know it. They think they’re free, just like Lucifer thought he was free (and apparently now thinks he can get free, either with the help of that demon at the end of 12x17, or Dagon, or his child), but Lucifer was under Crowley’s control, just like the Winchesters are under Ketch’s control. Judging from the promo for 12x19, I’m betting that Cas also thinks he’s free but is under heaven’s control (again, poor thing).

Speaking of Lucifer - he’s a parallel to the Winchesters, but also, obviously, to the actual monster Moloch (*insert goat imagery related to the devil here*). Pete freed the monster from its cage, just like Lucifer has been freed from his original cage by Cas+prevented from going to the cage by Crowley. I’m not sure whether Pete is a mirror for Cas or Crowley or both - both Cas and Crowley wanted to use Lucifer for some goal (fighting the Darkness in Cas’ case, I-don’t-think-we-know-the-full-extent-of-it in Crowley’s), but Pete only claimed that his goal was ‘saving the town’, he just wanted very egoistical personal gain. If he’s a Cas mirror, he’s a dark mirror; if he’s a Crowley mirror, I don’t know.

Now let’s talk about Dean - Dean’s behavior is supposed to feel jarring and wrong, he’s concerned and scared about Cas so he distracts himself - the waitress (at a place filled with tiny Cas things* and large BS written everywhere), even called Carmen which reminds us of Carmen Porter from 2x20 and that is so not a coincidence, the burger, which Dean is overenthusiastic about just like when he came back from Purgatory (“it’s a treasure” then, “this is heaven” now - and the word heaven isn’t a coincidence, either, not with what the next episode is going to be about - again, I’m tending towards a Naomi-like situation where Cas is more under heaven’s control than he realizes, in some way or another).

* It’s like a compendium of everything - coffee, burger, “Gus’” like in season 9, the comet-ish-like logo, I mean, there’s even a fish...

The emphasis on the initial letters makes me think we’re supposed to read is as “BS C(a)S” aka bullshit Cas - Dean literally has sex with a woman to fill in Cas’ absence, and it’s quite explicit in the episode, it’s not just the letters or whatever - Dean is upset because Cas has disappeared, Dean acts on his coping mechanism things, it’s linear. It was supposed to be an episode about being closed in a dark place.

Changing the topic - the heaviness of dysfunctional white dude family brings us to the Stynes again. The entire season is run through by the Stynes, from the nazi elements to now a family who has a dark secret and basically owns the town (just like the Stynes were “gods” in the town). The intertwinement of the Bishop family and the British Men of Letters basically spells Stynes 2.0 - the Stynes invaded the bunker and ‘tainted’ it (back in those times we wrote about a possible adiós to the bunker just like we’re doing now...) just like Ketch and his men have done, with the difference that the Stynes trashed up the place, while the British Men of Letters acted so that Dean and Sam wouldn’t notice. Dean’s photographs feature heavily in both cases... (the two scenes are also parallel to Amara’s visit to the bunker, when she did trash the place up a little but also saw Mary’s picture and eventually brought her back - Amara, like Ketch, kind of collected into about Dean connected to Mary; the Stynes kinda did the same, as they dug up the same pictures, but they didn’t care).

So, I think the BMoL arc is going to have a lot in common with the Stynes arc, with the due differences - I expect a ‘reverse’ of the dark elements of the Stynes arc (Dean doesn’t have the Mark but has grown up a lot since those times, etc etc - extradiegetically, I’m pretty sure the witch twins and Jody are going to be fine lol, I’m pretty sure they learnt the lesson).

Basically I saw this episode as the love child of Thin Man and The Prisoner (there were vibes and references to other eps, but those two stood up imo), which suggests that the story will proceed in a way that will put the characters in situations similar to the ones back in late season 9-late season 10, except that the characters have gone through experiences that are going to have them react to the situation differently. Thoughts?

[cameronsaunders95]

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[precioustexture]

Week 13 - Homage Project Reflection

Black Box, White Noise (2017). CRT TV, laptop, digital video. Installation view (temporal) at CNM Office, 11-12 April 2017.

Black Box, White Noise (2017). CRT TV, laptop, digital video.

Video work for Black Box, White Noise (2017). 1min 10s.

Process

Using Don DeLillo’s quote from White Noise as a starting point, I began to think of ways to communicate the anxiety and panic from informational saturation -- something that communicated the trepidation in the almost Beckettian wait for a catastrophe. Building upon what I’d set out to achieve with Task 1, where this saturation of media was applied to the idea of individual identity, I wanted to apply this concept more generally to human experience. Whereas the work I created for Task 1, Don’t leave me to my own devices, existed purely in the digital realm, I wanted concepts to manifest in physical form for Task 2.

As such, I began thinking of ways in which it could take physical form -- I mentioned Nam June Paik during class discussions, and feedback was that his installations tended to rely on density and mass, something I could not replicate with limited resources.

Another point brought up was the means in which I could communicate the emotional experience to the audience -- how do I convey this anxiety? Thinking about these issues raised led me to look to Nam June Paik’s more pared down installation works, such as TV Buddha, which relied on choice of objects as opposed to mass of objects. I also decided to rely upon the use of sound to communicate the anxiety -- perhaps unpleasant, static noises could be weaved into the installation, building on the idea of white noise.

With these ideas in mind, I came up with a simple sketch of how the installation could take form.

I then began obtaining materials -- a CRT TV, a laptop, and something that could serve as a plinth. Wooden apple crates would serve as plinths (the processed wood acting as an interested material counterpoint to the electronic equipment). Several rounds of experimentation were needed for this process -- to get the equipment working, placement of the materials, wires, adapters, plugs needed, even repurposing an old PS2 as a DVD player because of its portability.

After being certain of the workability of the physical installation, I moved on to creating the video. This involved the use of video editing software and the use of found footage from Youtube.

The choice of videos to splice into the video work was selected on the basis of its visual texture, colour, and greater implications. These implications or symbolisms were meant to be as eclectic as possible -- news programmes, cooking sequences, entertainment programmes, images of nature. A juxtaposition of serious or neutral with the banal, mindless or facetious. The list of videos are as such:

TASTY COMPILATION PART 1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88WTy6pgrQE

Chhattisgarh TV Anchor Supreet Kaur Reads Her Husband’s Death On Live TV (FULL VIDEO) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCuZyFld-GU

Ping Pong Trick Shots 3 | Dude Perfect https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeG1ftTmLAg

Blue Ocean Waves Slow Motion - Free Stock Footage https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGhsX1GDibM

YAMIL ASAD 2015 - Media Punta - Volante Ofensivo.mp4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRyB4K1asqw

The Mummy - Official Trailer #2 [HD] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzorZUuZqEI

Sailor Moon Opening 1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8Rvwu8Wykw

After splicing the videos together, I began to corrupt the video’s data -- a process of databending using Audacity. Importing the video footage as raw data and editing the content allowed me to produce authentic glitch effects.

The process of glitching itself required several rounds of experimentation, and I edited the glitched footage in with the original. Now that I had the footage, sound was another aspect that I had to create. This was synthesised through the use of sounds from old dial-up modems and static -- a sufficiently disturbing and otherworldly combination of sounds.

And finally came the installation process -- putting the artwork in place at the CNM office.

Lugged everything over to the office with a mini trolley and finally set everything up. The installation was then left for viewing until the morning of the next day.

Brief Write-up

Black Box, White Noise 2017 CRT TV, laptop, dual-channel digital video

An ephemeral installation/video work paying homage to the concept of brain fade as outlined in Don DeLillo’s White Noise, this work emerges from a fascination with the concept of informational saturation. Emphasising the “incessant bombardment of information” faced by the modern individual vis-à-vis mass communication, the work’s utilisation of moving image, databending and sound serve to communicate the unceasing “panic, noise and interference” engendered by these incessant flows; a dialogic back-and-forth of images, graphics, tragedies, statistics, data, and flows as a consistent, inescapable process from old to new.

Part of a submission for NM3205 Digital Art and Culture by Professor Flude, Marcia Nancy Mauro.

Full Write-up

Black Box, White Noise (2017) is a video work and ephemeral installation emerging from my fascination with the concept of informational saturation; paying homage to the concept of brain fade as outlined in Don DeLillo’s White Noise. Emphasising the “incessant bombardment of information” faced by the modern individual vis-à-vis mass communication (66), the novel suggests that the constant stream of data, images, and media has textured human life to the extent that an almost spiritual dependency upon the digital is forged within the individual.

Because we’re suffering from brain fade. We need an occasional catastrophe to break up the incessant bombardment of information. [...] The flow is constant, [...] Words, pictures, numbers, facts, graphics, statistics, specks, waves, particles, motes. Only a catastrophe gets our attention. We want them, we need them, we depend on them (66).

The electronic and the artificial become us – it both comforts and alienates. The novel conveys this ironic dichotomy by creating an atmosphere of unceasing anxiety, an unending trepidation that accompanies the overall impotency of the modern individual in coping with this saturated existence. So frighteningly expressed that one can only imagine the extent to which these feelings may have grown with the rapid growth of new media – and the scale of the catastrophe this necessitates before we are shaken from brain fade.

In his lecture, Black Box, Black Bloc, Alexander Galloway describes the hypothesis of the “fully programmed and also re-programmable” biological bodies of the cybernetic city – an eerie prediction of society that seems mere continuation of DeLillo’s expression of modern being (2). How does one integrate such incessant progressions and flows into a bearable form of existence? Galloway states the appropriate response to such a cybernetic city: “panic, noise, and interference” (2). It is a revolt that relies on a specific invisibility, a non-invasive blackness. Almost akin to observing a black box – the mystical cypher “without windows”, waiting to be decoded, deciphered, revealed to be rational (3). It is a “new approach to knowledge” – where only inputs and outputs certain, we allow the object to remain “opaque”, and we make every judgment based on observation, with “no access to our or anyone else’s inner life” (5-6).

My artwork thus draws on both concepts – of panic, noise, interference, and of looking, gazing, observing – in an attempt to engage with the incessant flows causing brain fade. The viewer is made to watch; to observe images that come in fragmented splices, but fill and overwhelm the screens unceasingly. They move across the frame, almost screeching with static and noise, as if to announce their appearance, a looping video that flickers between states. It is, as Olia Lialina suggests, an “infinite séance”; a looped screening that exists for however long the artwork is installed. It becomes a “formless story” about the modern individual’s relationship to the unending streams of information. More literally, a stream of water cuts through the images presented; flowing through as representational expression of the flows of information. Just as financial flows are symbolised by water in Hito Steyerl’s Liquidity Inc., so are informational flows represented by the same element in this work. The stream is panicked and churning – communicating the same urgency as all the other flickering, fragmented images. They cut into frame at different speeds, interfering – clambering to be seen, heard by the next, a communication of unceasing anxiety.

Figure 2. Charles Lim, SEA STATE 7: sandwich (2015). Single-channel HD digital video. 5 minutes.

In terms of formalistic reference, the video work draws upon Charles Lim’s SEA STATE 7: sandwich, which utilises a similar aesthetic of spliced moving image to communicate the complexity and constancy of an issue. Using images of water and the seaside, it uses ever-shifting landscapes to communicate the same sense of contested meanings of space and territory in relation to Singapore’s use and importation of sand. Movement in my work is thus an expression of the trepidation; an anticipation of the catastrophe that is to come, heightening a sense of anxious escalation.

Even more salient is its physical form as installation, which utilises a television and laptop facing the other directly, locked in an almost dialogic loop of moving image. This ceaseless cycle is reference to Nam June Paik’s TV Buddha, though facing the box of the TV is instead now a laptop, the “splayed open” black box instead of the image of the Buddha (Galloway 3). Images of the spiritual are not present – the black box perhaps becomes the intermediary for a spiritual experience.

Figure 3. Nam June Paik, TV Buddha (1974). Installation with closed-circuit video camera, monitor, and sculpture.

Works Cited 

DeLillo, Don. White Noise. Penguin, 1999.

Duvall, John N. "The (super) marketplace of images: Television as unmediated mediation in DeLillo's White Noise." Arizona Quarterly: A journal of American literature, culture, and theory 50.3, 1994, pp. 127-153.

Galloway, Alexander. “Black Box, Black Bloc.” Culture and Communication, 2010, cultureandcommunication.org/galloway/pdf/Galloway,%20Black%20Box%20Black %20Bloc,%20New%20School.pdf.

Lialina, Olia. An Infinite Séance. 2007, art.teleportacia.org/observation/infinite-seance.html. 

London, Barbara. "Time as Medium: Five Artists' Video Installations." Leonardo 28, 1995, pp. 423-426.

[stupid-stew]

My Obsession With Character Names Pays Off Right Here Right Now

I have literally never posted here but I decided that since I spent today writing about the the name of the characters in The Owl House instead of prepping for finals, someone should see it. Included are Lilith, Eda, Luz, King, Gus, Willow, Amity, Alador, Odalia, Emira, Edric, Belos, Adegast, Kikimora, last names Blight, Noceda, Clawthorne, Park, Porter, and Bump, and briefly Hooty, Owlbert, Hieronymus, and Boscha.

FIRST NAME

LILITH

Ok so because I'm lilith’s bitch we are gonna start with her because her name is so cool and I love her and we should be besties Lilith hmu. Anyways as most people know Lilith is a pre existing mythological character which makes this very much good because that means it’s all outlined. Most people know her as a demonic figure, which I very much dig but similar to our lovely queen of curses out here, that's not all she is. There isn’t going to be a chronological explanation of similarities and conclusions, cope. The basic gist is that Lilith was this chick with fiery red hair (this is important iykyk) who refused to be beneath or below adam, more specifically to subjugate to him, funny because of the tapestry with belos what says subjugation on it, probably a coincidence but I do not believe in coincidence right now. Anyways basically she runs off and becomes this chick who like snatches children and will make them sick if they don’t have an amulet with the names Senoy, Sansenoy, or Semangelof on them, thats a different story but what I find interesting is this one passage,

“(12) Her nobles shall be no more, nor shall kings be proclaimed there; all her princes are gone. (13) Her castles shall be overgrown with thorns, her fortresses with thistles and briers. She shall become an abode for jackals and a haunt for ostriches. (14) Wildcats shall meet with desert beasts, satyrs shall call to one another; There shall the Lilith repose, and find for herself a place to rest. (15) There the hoot owl shall nest and lay eggs, hatch them out and gather them in her shadow; There shall the kites assemble, none shall be missing its mate. (16) Look in the book of the LORD and read: No one of these shall be lacking, For the mouth of the LORD has ordered it, and His spirit shall gather them there. (17) It is He who casts the lot for them, and with His hands He marks off their shares of her; They shall possess her forever, and dwell there from generation to generation.”

And there are separate part of this that I find relevant, especially the description of the location, i’m not all that familiar with symbolism of animals in religious texts, so i’m gonna take it at face value and say that this is more or less a description that could be given to the physical owl house itself, sort of a place for people who don’t fit in, its a little messy and I guess one could say overgrown, but it’s a place for anyone, a place to rest now hopefully for Lilith away from the coven, there shall the Lilith repose. On top of that we see the “the hoot owl…” and you’re probably thinking what that so crazy wacko because like why are they referring to Lilith as the hoot owl isn't Eda the owl lady, yes she is. That’s why the actual meanings of lilith’s name that come from her mythological depiction as a demon lady are so important. We have night monster, night owl, night spectre, vampires, night hag, night creature, nightjar (which is another kind of bird), and night bird, all of these seem to fit lilith’s dark aesthetic very nicely which is very good for her, but there are two other ones, hot owl and screech owl, which draw her closer to Edaand away from the coven and her depiction in the mid-later episodes of the show as a monster for cursing eda, but also the name night monster could come into play if while sharing the curse Lilith acquired some of its traits, similar to Edaas the owl beast. Ultimately, we have this little red head girl who eventually fights back against the men who are attempting to get her to be under them, for the character that is belos, for the other Lilith that is adam, god, and his angels, and now hopefully both of them will find solace and repose among the owls in a place they never thought they’d belong. All this talk of owls and god brings us into the other clawthorne baddie:

EDA

For this I'm going to use her full name edalyn, because you know like that’s just how it be it is her name. There isn’t a wiki page for her name like there is for Lilith which makes this a little bit harder but the general consensus seems to be that it means something along the lines of “gift of god”, which I find very interesting. If you are going to name a child gift of god i’m assuming that you are referring to the child themselves, but I don’t think that really applies to eda. I’m not religious, but its my impression that someone who lies cheats pranks and steals their way to the top and isn’t exactly the most responsible witch on the isles might not be the best gift god could give. I do really love Eda though, her character flaws are still a part of her character, but I think this refers to her powers. Eda considers herself to be the boiling isles gift to magic, which I mean like, have you seen the woman. In agony of a witch we see her at what probably 30% of her power with how much the curse was already tolling on her and how much magic she was probably using to fight it off, and like goddamn. She was almost beating lilith, definitely beating the shit out of her, but she was almost defeating Lilith who was at her full power, and that is just a fraction of what she used to be able to do. Her powers were a gift of god, and I think that the loss of them will greatly affect her. She’s already admitted that she doesn’t know how to do much without her magic, and I think going straight from the second most powerful witch on this isles to having no power at all is going to be incredibly taxing on her, physically and mentally.

Luckily for her the name edalyn also means patience, another thing about her name is that it not only means gift of god, but also similar things like gifted by the gods or even goddess, and this draws a connection to Lilith who is named after a demonic figure, casted out for having defied god, they are quite literally polar opposites on the name spectrum, and we see that a lot in the show, they are completely different people, I mean have you looked at them they don’t even look related, but the funnier thing is that their personalities do the same thing. You’d expect Edain her youth to be a gift from the devil, just ask principal bump, and Lilith seemed to be a goody two shoes who worked her ass off, their names could be switched based off their characters alone.

A random baby name site I found said that :

“Persons with the name edalyn are usually highly flexible and well equipped to making and accepting change throughout their life. They always seek excitement and are sometimes a bit of a risk taker. They are imaginative, and often, through their unconventional way of thinking, are naturally able to solve complex problems with ease. They are quick thinkers and observers who are clever, analytical and versatile”

Which I mean like very much applies to eda, she takes change like a champ, either genuinely or by pretending she’s ok with everything, and is always seeking excitement. Like literally all of the time. Always. I think she takes felonies as a compliment, and one of the biggest changes in her life that she genuinely was able to adapt to and appreciate was

LUZ

Ok I think at this point everyone knows that at this point the name Luz means light, and if you didn't, oopsies now you do. The character Luz was named and designed after a real life person the miss dana terrace knew at the time she was starting to really think about the show, Luz ’s personalty comes more from dana herself and we love that, but the character has really started to grow into her name. This is made most obvious when the first spell Luz learns is the light glyph, not only coming into her own as a witch, but also starting to live up to her name, which along with light also has to do with “Our Lady of Light”, which is the virgin mary, fitting her right in with the other biblical names we got going on here. I really want to stress that I know next to zero about religion, and all of the connections I am making come from wikipedia, so bare with me here. But most of the time mary seems to be this pure, saint like figure, which I think is what a lot of people see Luz as, especially on the isles. I’m going to flat out say that this is in no way meant to pass off Luz as simple minded, pure, or oblivious, because we have seen what that girl is willing to do, she faced death and poked him in the with an ice cicle. In terms of life on the isles, however, she is more or less pure and sheltered, she’s completely new to the world she’s in, but she does quickly adapt, and shows more of her strong side, and remains a good person throughout all of it, taking losses as they come, and not letting them remain losses at the same time.

Back to the whole light thing, we already touched on the whole literal bit of her and the light spell, but can you think of a better way to describe Luz ? She literally brings light everywhere she goes, even Eda admits that she’s changed things for the better, for everyone around her too. Willow got a new friend, probably the first friend she’s had in a long time, and even got to begin repairing her relationship with amity, and got placed in the plant track so she could do the things she loves, all because of Luz . Edagot to grow as a person and a mentor, and finally got someone willing to accept all her eda-ness, unconditionally, someone to really care about that really cares about her back, all because of Luz . Amity got a friend who cares about her, not just her family name and money, someone who supports her and will do anything for her because she is her friend, and a bit of self discovery along the way for amity, all because of Luz . Not a single person on the isles who has had more than 2 minutes of interaction with Luz hasn’t had their lives improved, even belos got his portal, and the thing is that even characters who people might not even consider changed have been, characters such as

KING

The name king itself is obvious, he is royalty, the king of demoNS HIMSELF ASMODEUS hahahaha pulled a sneaky on you now accept my ideas as your own. I am on a mythological name kick, deal with it. The most important thing here is in the bible, asmodeus poses himself as a false god, which I know is something we have all considered with king, that he might be a full on liar, not be a king of anything and is just your ordinary street demon, it’s even come up in the show with him calling himself the king of artists and Luz asking him if he was just making it up at this point. It’s a good theory, I can see it, and this could be used as proof. There is also another legend that paints him as a good natured dude, who eventually banishes the king by literally throwing him, and then he loses his powers and is banished, but this is also the same legend where he marries Lilith and that is not something I am down for. There is another text in which he tells the king (the same one he threw in the other one) that his kingdom will one day be divided and the king does not believe him, and this is the same text where he admits to hating water and birds because they remind him of god. Lets think class, who has the god name and is related to birds here? King’s name by itself holds true to his character, who (regardless of if it is truthful or not) holds himself as if he is a king, and he isn't the only one with a name like that, there is also

WILLOW

Ok I know we all thought it, willow, the plant girl, how fiendishly clever. This also happens to be the only descriptor for her name I could find, which is totally fine because I think it’s a very cute name and willow is also very cute. This means we get to go into the symbolism of the willow tree wwwooooOOOOO aren’t you so very excited I know I am. Its kind of interesting, willow trees seem to match the character, understanding, warm, a safe space really, but most of all the ability to let go of pain and suffering, sometimes outright ignore it, and move on. Willow does always say out of sight out of mind does she not? She is willing to ignore, even excuse people bullying her, be it bosha or even amity, and the moment she got the chance her inner willow decided to try and literally burn the painful memories she had, willing to cause damage just to forget. Willow as a character is very willing to move on like nothing happened most of the time, key word most because another thing about willows is the ability to grow from the pain. Before understanding willow, we never really saw willow stand up for herself until she really had to, but hy the end of the episode she is willing to tell amity that she isn’t willing to fully forgive her, but she’s willing to grow and try. Heck, we see this over the entire first season, we see this little girl who can barely pull it together long enough to stand up for herself grow into this amazing character willing to publicly oppose the emperor and break into his castle for her friend, she tried to full out attack Lilith when 19 episodes earlier she wasn’t able to stand up to amity for bullying her. And I am in no way calling willow weak, she never was, she just needed to find the ability to show everyone that she’s strong, god I love willow so much, you wanna know who else loves willow?

GUS

Gus, my main man, love you but for this we are gonna have to use the full on augustus sorry babes. The name augustus means majestic, or venerable, which while I must say that the illusion of kiki doing the worm was probably one of the most majestic things I have ever seen, I’m going to focus on venerable a bit more here. Venerable is a big word, it means “accorded a great deal of respect, especially because of age, wisdom, or character.”, which for gus the age part might play a smaller part here, but he is good as what he does, Luz and willow both respect him, Eda Respects him, he’s this little dude who is younger than everyone and has to rely on his ability to succeed, not inly with his power but with his personality.Gus seems to be confident in himself, communicating with everyone regardless of who they are or what power they hold, similarly to willow he was willing to do anything to help Luz , leading into the second description of venerable, “heroic in nature”. Now, you might be wondering, bestie where ever did you get that description, it totally wasn’t from a religious page okyesitwas but that's fine because being pronounced venerable guarantees a spot in heaven so get it bestie. Overall, the general meaning for augustus is that they are strong, respectable, and powerful, which takes us right into the

ASSORTED BLIGHTS

The blight first names bring me joy so I am putting amity last because I think its really funny, starting off with alador, the name alador evokes diplomacy, correctness, and confidence. We know zilch about alador, but if the vibes of the blight family have anything to say it’s definitely something along those lines. The name odalia means wealth, which I mean like have you seeeen blight manor? Also back at it again with the fact that it’s a variant of the name odilia, like the saint olilia which I don't have ties for you right now because again, we know nothing about her. Edric also means wealth, fortune, riches, powerful, you get the vibes, same thing with emira which means commander, or prince, princess, leader, or star. So you know like we have all these super powerful names happening, and then, oh boy and then we get to little miss perfect herself, amity blight. It means friendship, or harmony. If I was her I would be so mad at my parents like yall have these mad powerful names and I got stuck with friendship? Hand me the emancipation papers. You know what they say, friendship is the real magic (even if no longer taught in schools due to budget constraints). I hope that this leads more into season 2 with amity working on her friendships and ultimately her relationships in general, which we got a bit of already with her working on repairing her relationship with willow, and making the moves to cut off old toxic friendships and moving into more genuine ones with willow, Luz , and gus. I guess you could say that the only thing ALL the blights have in common with each other is their

LAST NAME

BLIGHT

The word blight by itself means a plant disease which boy oh boy can you believe how nicely that fits into amity bullying willow because I sure can. Outside of just the plant bit it overall just means like something that damages another thing, and this works beautifully for each member of the family. The parents are damaging their children, the twins just causing general damage, and amity and her goddamn relationships, but fortunately that whole plant thing brings us into the next couple of last names

CLAWTHORNE

The last name clawthorne means “cold or exposed thorn tree” which had me kind of like what the heck so I went off and had some fun and got you some presents that I think are funny, so there was this guy right, his name was joseph clawthorne, and he created the term whiffenpoof, which is the name for a wildly fictitious animal, things like a jackalope, or even a griffin with spider breath, though I guess that would be the work of a

NOCEDA

Back again with the trees good lord, it means field of nut trees, so again I went into prominent people an found this guy named jorge noceda sanchez, he was a painter and some of his works are kinda baller actually it seems like something that would fit in on the isles, but also not all of the names have a deeper meanings, names like

PORTER

Ok I am like pretty sure this was just meant to be a play on the fact that gus’ dad’s name is perry and is a reporter, get it, perry porter, perry porter, reporter, but nonetheless I did some digging because why the heck not, it means doorkeeper, or gate keeper, someone who guards something like an important building, which honestly I think this would be a good last name for hooty if he ever gets one, but again not all of these are important names at the moment, or maybe they won't ever be at all, names like

PARK

At first I was kinda like l m a o willow park plant girl hahahahah plants in the park parks have trees willow is a tree but then I remembered that someone pointed out that park is a traditionally korean surname and then like a week later disney posted about it for aisian pacific american heritage month which kind of confirmed it, and I don’t know if the whole intention behind it was to establish willow as representation or not, but the surname park by itself means gourd and willow I am so sorry that is so unfortunate LMAOSIFN

BUMP

To be honest I was not expecting bump to have a last name that meant anything but it means swift walker and I think thats funny so you have to know it now

MISCELLANEOUS

BELOS

BIIIITCH LISTEN UPPPP there is a butt tone of mythology surrounding his name and its mostly a different form of it, belus, that is referenced, but same thing different shape. Most of his depiction is as a great king or ruler, in babylonian mythology being the equivalent of zeus of jupiter, which liiikkkkkeeeoajolnjojnkjakjavnjfvdfkjf but its fine everything is great its all ok most importantly, he is recognized as the god or ruler of war, and in that same mythology he lived in babylon, which “... was originally water, and called a sea. But Belus put an end to this, and assigned a district to each, and surrounded Babylon with a wall; and at the appointed time he disappeared.” and idk about you but the smell of him assigning a divide and disappearing smells sour like funky to me babes

HIERONYMUS AND BOSCHA

I am only putting this here because the fact that it’s totally a play on hieronymus bosch makes me cackle and you all have to know it thank you

ADEGAST

B-but brevyn he was only there for like one episode, yeah ok and? Radegast is the slavic god of hospitality, and there is no host like a host that pretends to take you on a mythical quest and then tries to eat you and your mentor and her deranged cat demon, ok? His name translates to “dear guest” or “welcomed guest” and I mean I think if my host tried to suck me into some fantasy would delusion i’d feel pretty welcomed

HOOTY

He is an owl

OWLBERT

He is also an owl

KIKIMORA

First and foremost, she is a little night gremlin who hates children and I think that really fits her, but she is also a little house demon, who is very difficult to get to leave, have we seen her outside the castle? Will she be a spy along with the mask next season? She also has a name that means nightmare or night demon, similar to a certain other night creature we might have heard of a while ago. She tried to strangle children and I love that for her,and she is described as a little old ugly messy haired lady and I feel like her current character has the personality of one so i’ll take it, but what really gets me is her villain origin story, which is that she "grows up with a magician in the mountains. From dawn to sunset the magician’s cat regales Kikimora with fantastic tales of ancient times and faraway places, as Kikimora rocks in a cradle made of crystal. It takes her seven years to reach maturity, by which time her head is no larger than a thimble and her body no wider than a strand of straw. Kikimora spins flax from dusk and to dawn, with evil intentions for the world.”