#help to afford testosterone

[davidthephoneguy]

Hey uh I need a lil help to afford to see a doctor about getting a Testosterone prescription and I don't think my new job is gonna be able to provide the money needed in time so I'm asking for help

I don't really know how you're meant to ask for help like this so I feel a little embarrassed about it without like making it an exchange of some kind so I'll do a game stream if I reach the goal and any commissions go to it as well, my commissions are 5% off on Ko-Fi

I just need some amount of money before the 20th of August

[skin-bible]

Lighting apparently strikes multiple times in the same place because this is the 3rd time we'll be homeless

Hi. Im gay and trans and I keep begging, and I keep asking, but I'm not getting any help outside of my friend group, which consists of like 2 people.

Long story short, no matter my 80 hours of work every week, I've been living in the red of about -$1,000 just to pay rent, and my bank isn't letting me take out in overdraft anymore because of it. Good news? Im back in the green by like $50. Bad news? I couldn't keep up with last months rent because i couldnt take out overdraft, and the apartment I'm with is going to sue us and give us an eviction notice because we couldn't pay in full by March 17th (it's now March 20th).

So our final last ditch effort is to find a cheaper place before the eviction notice so we're not forced to be homeless (most "low-income" apartments here wouldn't accept people if they have an eviction notice.)

The apartment we have our eyes on is $300 less than what we're paying now, although it's $1,017 per month. And Blue has a stable job now, so if we can get this, we'd be stable again

I'm asking for the amount to afford this new apartment to move into before we get the eviction notice, which is the first month's rent and deposit, which is equal to the first month's rent, so roughly $2,000

Please. A dollar helps, a reblog helps.

[transcarcinization]

honestly more than t what my gender needs is voice training. i don’t mind being a boy that looks like a pretty woman if i can sound like a boy. i need to confuse people when i speak

[snazum]

life update!!! I started vyvanse (though I'll have to stop when I run out it's not covered by my insurance lmaoooo, wonder what I'll be switching to XD)

so things are looking up for the snazums everywhere, I start school in like 2 months so that's exciting and now that I'm diagnosed with ADHD that should help me get supports and meds n shit to deal with my terrible education habits. (look lets just say i've switched my degree 3 times, fell into academic probation and took a year off school)

now i just need to get a job which should be in my future soon, like no way I just don't get one XD But I'm feeling good, which i hope that means the meds are working (praying that's why, and i'm not just in the up swing for the next couple weeks. or at least if i hit the down swing it's not like rock bottom it's like aw that sucks oh well keep chugging ya know?)

[blueheartedwolf]

My shitty, broken body makes me a financial burden to my family and friends and I’m at the point that I really just don’t want to be here anymore.

[genderqueerdykes]

Feminizing HRT Overview, Guide & Information for All People Seeking It

we also have a version of this post for testosterone/masculinizing HRT as well. we wanted to write a companion piece as many folks have asked about this. it has take a bit of time, but here we are!

The testosterone HRT post is here.

Getting Your Prescription

To start taking estrogen, you will need to find a general practitioner, family doctor, endocrinologist or informed consent clinic where you can discuss gender affirming care with knowledgeable staff. Planned Parenthood is a good option for many trans people in general. Your mental health may also be evaluated, and your heart health and screening for a few other health conditions, as well as having access to your family health history if possible will be required.

Check to see if you have medical insurance, either through your family, your job, or if you are low income, a program like medicaid. Search for low income insurance plans in your area if it is needed, many places offer insurance plans for those who can't afford care on their own.

Here is a map of informed consent HRT clinics in the US.

You will discuss any gender dysphoria, gender presentation needs, if you have a support network, how you are impacted by your gender in your every day life with your provider and so on before being given a prescription. You will only be given a prescription after you discuss the risks of HRT and are screened for possible health problems and diseases or ways your body could react negatively to HRT. If you have needle trauma or phobias and can't inject hormones, it's best to bring it up before you get your prescription to save time and confusion.

The Medications

Treatment typically starts with spironolactone (aldactone), an anti-androgen that blocks androgen receptors ("male" sex hormones) for a few weeks, and then add estrogen, but many folks start with spiro and estrogen at the same time. Spiro will lower the amount of testosterone your body makes. For some people, spiro isn't necessary at all!

Some forms of spironolactone are reported to make folks pee like crazy, others do not have as bad of a time with it. Your mileage will vary depending on manufacturer. Spironolactone is intended to be a blood pressure medication, meaning it is a diuretic and is intended to help your body flush out fluids + salt. You will need to keep yourself hydrated if you notice this effect, as well as increasing electrolyte intake where possible.

Estrogen also lowers how much testosterone your body makes, and triggers changes in the body that occur during puberty in afab & adjacent people. Estrogen can be taken several ways, and is usually taken daily, and several times a day. You can take it in a pill or shot, and several forms of estrogen that can be applied to the skin like creams, gels and patches.

Make sure you thoroughly sanitize the skin of any injection sites or areas you will be applying gel or patches. If you are given topical estrogen, make sure you wash your hands after application and do not have someone else apply it for you. Make sure you do not go swimming or shower within several hours of application to make sure your skin absorbs the hormone.

You may not need to take anti androgens if you are doing estrogen injections, depending on how effective the estrogen injections are for you. Some people may not end up needing anti-androgens at all, and may be able to skip that entirely as spiro has unwanted side effects. Your natural hormone levels will dictate whether or not it's necessary, but it is not necessary for everyone.

You may end up being recommended to switch from one form of estrogen to another as your transition progresses, depending on how your body responds.

It's recommended to not take estrogen as a pill if you have personal/family history of blood clots in a deep vein or in lungs (venous thrombosis).

Some people also end up taking progesterone as well alongside estrogen. Progesterone is typically taken to encourage breast tissue growth, as this is the most prominent effect of the hormone. If sufficient breast tissue growth isn't seen from estrogen alone, progesterone can be added to your regimen, though this is only done later on into treatment, around a year or so in.

If you choose injectable estrogen, make sure to listen to your provider and ask for instructions about how to use needles and syringes, as well as injection angles, how and where you'll be injecting. Do not inject in the exact same spot every time, this can prevent the issue from healing properly and create scar tissue or cause infections or skin tissue necrosis (death). You also need a sharps container to safely dispose of your needle tips. Never re-use a needle, even if it was used previously on yourself. Always ask the pharmacy if you need more needles. A lot of places let you get them in bulk.

If you are going the injection route, make sure you know whether or not you are instructed to do intramuscular or subcutaneous injections. Intramuscular injections usually taper out of the system more quickly and need to be done more frequently, where as many patients find subcutaneous injections less painful and easier as they can be done less frequently.

For more information on safe intramuscular or subcutaneous injection for estrogen, please read here.

Another option for feminizing HRT is to take gonadotropin-releasing hormone (Gn-RH) analogs. They lower the amount of testosterone your body makes and may allow you to take lower doses of estrogen without using Spiro. Gn-RH analogs are usually more expensive, but are an option if for whatever reason the conventional route can't work for you.

DON'T GIVE UP IF YOU DON'T SEE THE EFFECTS YOU WANT TO SEE RIGHT AWAY! Many of them can take a long time to develop, often times patience is the key. If you wait it out and still don't see the results you'd like, you can try another route. Don't give up, a lot of people get deterred in the early stage of transition, you'll get there with patience and communication.

Stay patient, stay positive!

What to Expect from Feminizing HRT

Less facial and body hair growth: typically happens 6 - 12 months after treatment starts. Full effects within ~3 years on average.

Slower scalp hair loss: begins 1 - 3 moths after treatment begins. Full effect between 1 - 2 years on average.

Softer, less oily skin, and changes in general skin texture: 3 - 6 months after treatment starts, full effects within 2 - 3 years on average

Rounder, softer features including face and body, and more body fat: 3 - 6 months after treatment starts, full effects in 2 - 5 years.

Breast development: begins 3 - 6 months after treatment starts, full effects within 2 - 5 years on average or more, according to medical studies, but it can vary wildly from person to person, give dosage and hormones taken. If desired effects are not seen, progesterone can be taken alongside estrogen to help after around one year on estrogen. When breast growth begins, it starts with hard lumps under the nipples along with some soreness and itchiness. Some have sore breasts for a long time, and some may get scared and think they have cancer during this stage. Breasts will be swollen and tender for good while, and nipples may be especially sensitive to even light touch.

Reduced muscle mass/density: 3 - 6 months after treatment starts, full effect in 1 - 2 years on average

Potential decrease in libido if on estrogen alone, though not guaranteed: If it happens, it's generally within 1 - 3 months in and can last a while, but may even out over time

Fewer erections, decreased ejaculate volume, and erections that can become painful or uncomfortable if frequent erections are not maintained. This begins 1 - 3 months after treatment starts, and the full effect is within 3 - 6 months. Regularly maintaining erections and frequent ejaculation can ease some of these uncomfortable feelings in some people.

Changes in how orgasms feel, changes in texture and degree of sensation of penis and scrotum skin as well as changes in body odor: typically begins within 3 - 6 months, though it varies from person to person. Often times the way one's body responds to orgasms completely changes, many people find themselves experiencing full-body orgasms and more intense erogenous zones elsewhere in the body other than the genitals.

Smaller testicles, or testicular atrophy happens within 3 - 6 months and the full effects are usually seen within 2 - 3 years.

Increase in size of bladder and decrease in size of prostate over time which can lead to making one's gspot harder to find, and make prostate examinations more difficult, though they are still vital, as prostate cancer is still a possible factor.

Potential mood fluctuations while adjusting to the hormones, many report increased crying and sadness during the first 3 - 6 months with this tapering off after a full year at most.

Increased fatigue while adjusting to the hormones, sleepiness and becoming easily exhausted are common reports. This can vary drastically from person to person, ymmv.

If you have testicles and choose to have them removed, you may need to take testosterone as well as estrogen in order to have a healthy endocrine system. You will need to discuss the effects of this with your specialists if you want to go this route. If your androgen levels get too low because your body cannot synthesize enough testosterone after bottom surgery, you may need additional medication.

Potential infertility, though this is not a guarantee, and safe sex should still be practiced at all times. No timeline projected though the longer one is on E the more likely it becomes.

Monthly cycles akin to menstrual cycles: these are not present in everyone, but many people report entering a cycle of extreme fatigue, body aches, abdominal cramping in the approximate area where a uterus would sit, headaches, and more for around the duration of a menstrual cycle (4 - 10 days on average).

Progesterone inversely to estrogen can cause an increase in libido in most who take it, and is the primary hormone used for breast growth. Lactation may also occur while taking prog, if this happens, talk to your doctor right away.

Keep track of your progress when and where you are able, and don't be afraid to bring up any concerns you may have with your professionals or trans friends, or any other trans resource. Your transition is in your hands and you're allowed to modify it as you see fit. If you do not see the effects you want from traditional HRT, you may be able to seek the Gn-RH route, and if you aren't seeing the results you want from just estrogen, progesterone might be of use to you.

You will need to keep an eye on your bone health as high levels of estrogens can increase your chance to develop osteoporosis, and potential new cancers like breast cancer may arise, as well as heart problems. Getting checkups as frequently as possible and communicating with your doctor/s will be of great use when and where possible

Either way, we hope this helps in some way! We will add to it as we find/think of more information. Good luck to everyone seeking feminizing HRT, you deserve to look and feel like yourselves!

[sweatermuppet]

hello! i have a new discount code in shop to help me afford the HRT follow up & testosterone refill i have this month! please use code HRT at checkout for 10% off ANY order!!

i also have shirts, tote bags, & coffee mugs here, a print shop, a tip jar, & here is the link to buy my book of poetry

[coinandcandle]

Help Coin Get Top Surgery!

If you'd like to hear my story, read the post. If you'd like to go ahead and donate, click the link below:

Check out my kofi link to donate to my fund! 

Who am I?

My name is Coin and I'm a trans man looking to get top surgery--shocking, right? A bit more about me, I have two cats and 15 plants and I love writing and creating.

Why am I setting this goal?

Earlier this year I had to get off of testosterone due to medical issues and since then my chest has gotten bigger and I can no longer adequately hide it any more with tape or a binder. I've tried saving on my own but I am a college student who has been paying his own bills since I was 17. Of these bills, I have too many current and past bills to pay to afford saving much of anything towards my goal.

That said I have asked everyone in my life to put money towards this goal instead of giving me birthday/holiday gifts and extra money (from gigs or freelance) is being put into this.

However, my goal is to have top surgery by April 2025 so that I can enjoy summer with a huge weight--or weights--off my chest!

Why $5,000?

I'm asking for $5,000 because my insurance won't cover any of my surgery and I will also be out of work for two or so weeks after the surgery, more if I am unable to work from home. This would leave me with a gap in paychecks enough that I would need that buffer of money to make sure I don't go totally broke.

Truly, anything helps. If you can't donate, please consider sharing as I would really appreciate it.

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

So because apparently both parties in my country oppose trans healthcare to some extent I want to make it very clear to cis people what healthcare they're opposing.

There's a lot of fearmongering about children undergoing medical transition. So I'm gonna walk you through what might happen to a child who is transgender and wants to go the full medical route. Let's say our hypothetical transgender child, I'll make him a him because I'm a him and I'll call him Rat because he named himself when he was 6.

So Rat would probably, unless he experienced precocious puberty, go on hormone blockers at age 9 or 10, a year or two before he would start experiencing puberty just to make sure he doesn't experience any female puberty symptoms. Then at about 13 or 14 he would have an appointment with his doctor and they would decide that he has been sure that he was a boy for many years now and he's at an appropriate age to start puberty, at which point he would be taken off the hormone blockers and put onto a dosage of testosterone that is typically of what his perisex camab peers produce naturally. Because he never produced estrogen he would not have grown breasts and not need top surgery. He would develop exactly how his camab peers develop.

Now I want to put an interlude here that literally all of this is reversible. At any point Rat could change his name back and go off the testosterone jabs and his ovaries would start functioning again and they would produce the appropriate estrogen to give him breasts and hips. He could take the same vocal training classes that trans women take, he could get laser hair removal on the places where appropriate, and it would be as if he'd never been on the hormones at all.

But he doesn't want to do that. He wants a penis so let's move onto that.

As far as surgery goes, he would not be able to have either metoidioplasty or phalloplasty until he was on hormones long enough to experience the necessary bottom growth to occur, which takes a couple of years. (At least that was what I was told in 2016 please lmk if standards have changed since then). So at this point we're already about 16 years old before surgery even comes up as an option at the doctor's office. And Rat, if he is particularly gung ho about getting a penis and his parents can afford it/insurance will pay for it, probably gets put on a waiting list for a consultation with a specialist in genital reconstruction. Let's say at that consult which probably takes a few months minimum to get into, he opts for the most similar to perisex male genitalia: phalloplasty with testicular implants. Right there we're looking at at least three different surgeries and not all of them are going to happen at the same time. He's 17 before he's ever even on the operation table and he's been consistently identified as male since elementary school. This is the fastest possible bottom surgery route I'm laying out for you here and he still not slanging it until senior prom when he'll give it an ill advised test run in the back of his parents Subaru with Kelly from the anime club. All of that is assuming there's a doctor who will do it for him that can fit him in. Some people wait years for surgery.

Now some people get top surgery younger, but guess what, breast implants both exist and can be removed. If a 14 year old gets a double mastectomy and regrets it when they're 23 they can get implants. If a 16 year old gets breast implants and regrets it when they're 20 they can get those taken out. Top surgery is not complicated and I've heard from guys who truely would not have made it if they hadn't gotten theirs done.

I know this won't convince anyone who opposes trans healthcare but I hope it at least explains transition to cis allies who support trans people getting healthcare but still might think minors not being allowed to have surgery is a moderate position. I invite any trans person to add onto this with a MTF perspective or how their surgeries helped them.

[octuscle]

Hey, so I ran into a bit of a problem with my stupid car. I drove a pretty old model since I didn't have the money to afford a new one (I'm still training to be a doctor). But it finally broke down and now I need to get it fixed. The guy at the auto repair place told me I could borrow one of their models for the next few days for an "extra cost". I need a car to get to work so I was happy to accept and they gave me one of their old lifted trucks. But now I'm starting to wonder what exactly this extra cost is and why I'm suddenly so interested in cars and auto repair. I have a few days left with this truck before I need to return it so any advice would help.

Well, the first extra cost is the scorn and ridicule you get in college. This truck is really embarrassing. A gas guzzling behemoth that you need three parking spaces for. And you literally have to climb into the car. For someone for whom the walk from the parking lot to the lecture hall is already sport, this is of course a horror. You park at the end of the parking lot so that nobody can see you. But on the second day, pictures of you getting out of your car go viral on campus. It was a shitty idea to take the car.

Sitting alone in the canteen, you watch the video of yourself again… Yeah, it looks really silly, you'd be making fun of the lanky guy in that huge car yourself. Even though you'll be rid of this beast in a few days, thank God, and when you can finally drive your Prius again, you should do something for your body. It's not by chance that they say "Mens sana in corpore sano"… You're looking for a gym where no one from your faculty is guaranteed to be studying. A little outside. For men only. No courses, only iron. I'm sure none of your Crossfit or Pilates friends go there. All you need is for someone to post pictures of you using dumbbells online. You join online and arrange a trial session for tonight. You don't know yet whether this is a good idea.

You roll into the parking lot. A parking lot full of pickup trucks. A few lifted trucks too. But yours stands out. Yours is really huge. Somehow you're proud of it. You jump out of the cab and grab your gym bag from the passenger footwell. You've never been here before. But somehow you feel at home. The guy at reception greets you with a fist bump. "Hey, welcome to the dudes-only gym! I'm Chuck. You gotta be Lance, right? Sweet wheels you're rockin' there.". You reply that your name is actually "Lanny", but Chuck just grins and says that a guy like you with a car like that is hardly called Lanny.

Chuck shows you the gym, the changing rooms, the showers and, after you have changed into your workout clothes, takes you to the training area. A bunch of musclemen are sweating on the weights, grunting. The air is thick with sweat and testosterone. Chuck scrutinizes you. "Well, you're no newbie to pumping iron, bro. But a few more pounds of mass would really beef you up. Let me walk you through some of my top moves." This is actually the first time you've ever pumped iron… But you don't contradict me. And follow Chuck's instructions. You train together with Chuck for the first hour. After that, he has to go back to reception. It's only 8:00 pm. The gym is just starting to fill up. The guys here are not men of big words. A nod of the head. That's usually the whole conversation. Apart from the grunt you let out when you finish the last repetition of a sentence with your last ounce of strength, you don't say a word for the next few hours.

Chuck comes onto the training area at 00:30. You are about to get your biceps on fire. "Big boy, it's time, I want to call it a day." He stares at the tent in your pants. The thing is, if you give it your all on the dumbbells, you'll get a hard-on. The two of you are alone on the training area. You finish your last set. You check the result with a double bicep pose in front of the mirror. You pull down your pants. And you and Chuck call it a day.

The next day you park your baby right in front of the university entrance. It's still early, but you want to be back at the gym early. The early bird catches the worm, as they say at home with mom and dad on the farm.

Dann all this medicine shit is terribly tiring and boring. You almost fall asleep in the first lecture. In the cafeteria, you try to talk to a sane person about chiseling iron or tuning engines. But all the idiots here can talk about is medicine and patients and stuff like that. By 4 p.m. you can't take it anymore. You need some normal people around you now. You swap your doctor's coat for a sleeveless checked flannel shirt. You meet one of your professors in the hallway. He asks you if you are one of the janitors. He has a problem with his car. Finally, a sensible task. You were hoping he had a problem with his engine. You would have liked to have had a look at it. He drives a BMW 540, a cool car. But unfortunately, he just changed the language in his on-board computer from English to German. A little something for you. He thanks you and slips you five dollars. Pathetic nerds!

Chuck greets you with a fist bump. Rituals are rituals. He thinks his ass is still sore from yesterday. You should take it easy on him today. You grin, inspect his tight ass and say it's a disgrace. But then he’d probably have a sore throat tomorrow. You laugh. And you head off to the training area. Too bad about Chuck. But there'll be another ass to fill today. There are lots of tight asses here. But first you work on your own. Leg day!

The next day, park your baby right outside the entrance. It's still early, but you want to be back at the gym early. The early bird catches the worm, as they say at home with mom and dad on the farm. In the workshop, they call you the truck doc. Because you can fix any problem. And because you once studied medicine. That was a long time ago. It was an idea you had in your youth. But you're not a guy who works with his head. You work with your calloused hands. And with your heart. And your heart beats for mighty engines and mighty wheels!

[davidthephoneguy]

HEY HEY JUST GONNA SAY TIME IS REALLY RUNNING OUT GUYS 14 DAYS ARE LEFT FOR ME TO GET THE MONEY FOR HRT AND IM STILL AT 26% PLEASE HELP I AM BEGGING I WILL DO ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING

Please just share this anywhere, even off site PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I WANT TO BE ABLE TO AFFORD HRT BY THE TIME THE APPOINTMENT COMES

[genderqueerpositivity]

After Mississippi banned his hormone shots, an 8-hour journey

Katie had done all she could to prepare for this trip. She’d asked a relative to pick up her two younger boys from school. She’d researched how to change a tire, and she’d spent hours on Google Maps, searching for the closest Walgreens in Alabama. She’d finally found a destination in Thomasville, a rural town nearly 200 miles from their suburban Mississippi home, but much remained unclear. Would they make it by noon for Ray’s telehealth appointment? Would the pharmacy give him testosterone?

Katie looked at her boy, a thin 17-year-old with wavy hair and an easy grin, and she asked herself the question that had begun to matter least: Was she breaking the law?

Two months earlier, Mississippi had banned transgender young people, like Ray, from accessing hormones or other gender-transition treatments. By mid-spring, nearly half the country had passed similar bills, according to the Movement Advancement Project, and now, 1 in 3 trans children lives in a state with a ban. Conservative lawmakers said they’d pushed the bills to protect young people, but Katie felt like they’d done the opposite. Testosterone had allowed her son to embody himself for the first time. Ray was present, happy. The ban would take that happiness away.

Across the country, families were doing everything they could to protect their trans children. Some uprooted their lives in red states for the promise of protections in blue ones. Others filed lawsuits. Katie couldn’t afford to move, and she needed a solution faster than the courts could offer, so she’d settled on a cheaper, quicker plan: She’d take a day off from her nursing job, and she and Ray would travel out of state for his medical care.

No one should have to go to these lengths just to access what is essentially basic life-saving heath care.

Also, major shout out to QMed and Dr. Lowell and the Southern Trans Youth Emergency Project for the work that they are doing to help trans youth and adults in red states access gender affirming care.

[star-anise]

Top-tier cis women athletes who whine about the possibility of trans women having "physical advantages" over them as though this is a brand new never-before-seen occurrence in sports are just

Really fucking clueless about their privileges

If you're a top-tier athlete, you got there by having

Yes a good work ethic and a whole ton of skill earned by very hard work. Good job. Bravo. Whatever.

The cultural and economic advantage of a ton of excellent training, coaching, and opportunities. There are many athletes as talented and hardworking as you who couldn't afford to make it to that competition you won. Maybe they needed to look after their siblings or work a job or do their schoolwork. There are a ton of athletes who could have beaten you but they didn't have a gym to train at or a coach to help them or a team to join. Or those things existed and they quite simply couldn't afford them.

Unearned physical and genetic advantages over all the other girls your age who were shorter, or didn't build muscle as easily, or didn't get adequate nutrition when you did, or didn't get enough adult attention to build muscular coordination at the right age as you, or who had accidents or injuries or diseases or disabilities, or who were naturally fat and had to spend their whole lives worrying more about their weight than their physical abilities because fatphobia

I had to understand this the hard way from the other side. I wanted to be an athlete when I was a child, and I never understood that the bones of my right leg were just too short and too badly-built, so I would never be as tall or able to run as fast as everyone else—that actually, all my effort counted for piss because of the shape of my skeleton.

In fact, the harder I worked, the more I damaged the soft tissues all over my badly-built joints, so trying to put in 110% effort (and hiding the massive amount of pain I was in, because "no pain no gain") exacerbated what would already be lifelong disabilities.

Trans girls AREN'T your enemies. They're your competitors.

Some of them are naturally smaller or weaker or disabled, because testosterone isn't actually a superdrug.

Some of them are actually physically the same as you, because that's what puberty blockers and hormone therapy at the right age DO. Trans girls often want to be girls, and will therefore seek out medical solutions to avoid masculine puberty! Mindblowing but true!!!

And some of them are for whatever reason taller or stronger or faster than you and if this is the first time you've ever encountered competition like that then

NEWSFLASH:

Before this you have always been the competition who was inherently taller or stronger or faster than everybody else

In which case you're not actually an opponent of natural physical advantages in sport, you're just being a transphobic pissbaby because you can't win by default this time.

[reikunrei]

feeling incredibly averse to posting this but i'm just gonna drop my kofi link here in case anyone wants to help me get out of my increasingly shitty situation living with my parents

more info below ig

after having given my parents nearly $100k over the last four years, i'd love to be able to actually leave. my future job situation is still up in the air (i've submitted for about a dozen positions and the only one i've heard back from and interviewed for hasn't gotten back to me yet), and i haven't been able to build up any savings because, again, i was (and still am) helping my family afford rent and bills, and probably the taxes my parents are behind on, but if i think about that, i'll get too angry. no joke, i've given my family, at the bare minimum, 85% of my income over the last 4 years. the rest of it has gone toward medical stuff and, now, my car

at this point, with the combo of my mom refusing to lower her standards and my dad's seeming refusal to hunt for a new full time job, i don't see how they won't continue to bleed me dry. my dad even has a bad habit of taking money out of my old savings account that he's a joint owner on or whatever from when i got it set up when i was 16, even when i stopped actively putting money in it, so now any time it gets its automated $1 transfer from my checking account, he'll just take that $1 without consulting me. i'm not exaggerating, even if it has $1-2 in it, it'll be gone within a week

i've even put off starting on testosterone because of this. i wanted to start it like 3 years ago, but kept putting it off because of money issues and wanting to save as much as possible. i got really close to actually starting it this year, but because of how messy everything is, i put it off again bc having one more thing on my plate, especially when my parents are already weird about me being trans, was not something i wanted to deal with

not to mention, we're still currently not living under a lease in our house that we're, as far as i'm aware, still tens of thousands of dollars behind in rent on (again, my dad refuses to disclose our financial position honestly with any of us) and it's developed many, many issues bc the landlord, even before we were behind on rent, is shit and refuses to actually fix anything. and my dad loves to just ignore things unless we beg him to do something

i'd love to be on my own (in the, much more affordable, midwest) by the end of summer. i by no means want to rely on donations and i have other avenues i'm working with to make money (i still have my current full time job, but i'm going through my old belongings and selling a lot online), but i'll take any help i can get atp because i'm truly at my wits end. i'd start doing art commissions again if i could, but doing that from 2020-2022, partially on top of my full time job, absolutely wrecked my right hand and i'm still in enough pain that i can't make it a regular activity

idk how much else there is to say. there's more i could say but... i don't really wanna air all my dirty laundry here. i'm miserable in so many ways and it's just become increasingly clear that my dad expects me to constantly cover his ass. my younger brother gives money too, but he manages to go on big cross-country and overseas trips with friends, so i think i've been stuck with the burden of giving the most money. there's so many more things going on in the world rn and everyone is stretched thin so i don't expect much, or anything, but. idk. might as well throw it out there, right?

i’ve also since taken down the gfm i set up last year when we got our first eviction notice bc, while we still need the money, i don’t feel right keeping it up for multiple reasons, including “i don’t want to give any of that money to my family” and it feels too… serious to keep it up when i could just throw out my kofi instead

i just want to make sure i have some sort of safety net to catch me if i move before anything job-wise is finalized. i need to be able to afford a place to live for at least a month so i can job-search while physically being in the area i wanna move to, which would ultimately make it easier for me to find a job at all. i'm working on being more firm with giving less money so i can actually have the means to move and be safe and comfortable, but... that never lasts long in this house

anyway. that's it, i guess. thanks for reading

[pupboyxander]

hi everyone !! had to make a post even though i hate asking like this, but i can’t afford my testosterone due to insurance deciding not to cover it and being currently in between jobs; if anyone can help out even a lil bit (thru the k0-f! l!nk in my pinned or dming me for my others) or even j sharing this post, it would b greatly appreciated ! trying to make $60, ill make content for u in return ;33

[cator99]

I've been keeping track of this just because my PMS used to be full on insanity inducing but since I upped my T dose and started taking it regularly the only significant symptoms I get inthe week leading up to my period are career related which speaks more to how I handle any excess "emotional drive" with maybe a sense of responsibility now that I've matured and less to uh "testosterone = man = career focused" just in case anyone might get that impression but at it's most strong I would frantically go back to the RCAF site every month for about 4 months maybe and research different career and education opportunities it could afford me and practically shake with excitement at the thought as I seriously considered this route but once I remembered that I have celiac disease and they don't fw that I moved on to monthly firefighter career aspect obsessions that would flare up right before my period. This time around it was paramedic (week prior to period so not as strong but I was looking into it since I figured itd be more useful to do down that route first before thinking I even had a shot at becoming a firefighter... many go to school for it but few actually succeed in getting a related job afterwards so it helps to have a leg up) followed by a heightened interest in pursuing some sort of boating related career which mostly just led me adrift....... hm. Ah it also helps that I'm on adderall so yeah pretty much based on my in depth study I've concluded that steroids stimulants employment weightlifting kiwifarms and being bald is basically the cure for female hysteria