#help some of my coworkers follow me on instagram and TikTok

[rosiesfandomblog]

Not gonna lie, I’m worried about going back to work after two months of sick leave…

“What did you do in your time off, Rosie?”

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY? “I started a fanfiction novel that already has 400 views”? “I drew fanart of a prostitute spider and rumrunner cat”? “I’ve been foaming at the mouth over a spider and a cat holding hands”????

I am NOT in a position to be let into the real world LMFAO

[cosmictulips]

PAC:: What is coming towards you?

If you would like to receive more messages follow me on TikTok (TulipTaryn), Instagram (TarotofTulips) , Youtube , Twitter, and Here =D --- if you would like to support me, uh. I got an etsy store that is currently closed lmao. But I do have a Ko-Fi, Paypal and CashApp

just felt called to do this when I was talking to my guides =)

Choose a compass! =D one, two, three in order from left to right.

Pile 1 ::

I am seeing a lot of happiness coming to you. for some of you, you are gaining control over something. this could be finances because I'm seeing a lot of green. but it doesn't have to be. this could be you obtaining land, something substantial. this can be you opening your heart chakras as well.

You are allowing the flow of things to come to you. I'm seeing a lot of you expressing gratitude. you are building strong foundations and you ... feel free. like what is coming to you is a lot. like there's realizations, happiness, karmic justice.

Whatever you have been waiting for, it's coming to you. this feels like a very hard earned victory. and it may feel like it's tying you down, but it's giving you a lot of freedom.

other intuitive messages:: cancer? like the sign, 2nd house, 10's kept appearing, 4, and 6 as well. a lot of new beginnings. this feels very money focused.

Pile 2 ::

what is coming to you seems to be a lot of change. this isn't a bad thing for you because--- I see that a lot of you need to release something that you are hanging on to. this could be anxiety, feeling hopeless or just feeling lost.

when I say a change is coming to you, it's a big change. this is something that is going to make you quite happy. it's like your mind does a complete 180. this feels very mental health focused. goal focused. if you have been trying to change a situation, have to choose between two options, etc.

your thinking is over. there is no need to fear the "what if" because it's all going to work out in your favor. compromises are going to be made and you are going to be taking the lead.

the thing that I am seeing for you is that you are growing. spiritually, mentally. this was a cycle for you. and you're finally putting that to an end.

someone may also be coming in to help you. the guides are telling you that you just need to focus on what is in front of you. what do you want your end result to be? release and let everything go. allow this change to come in. you hold the key to your freedom. it's okay to worry but do know that they have you. you will not fail.

other intuitive messages :: taurus and the 5th house came up. so you may be trying to come out of your comfort zone. you may be needing to go in to your comfort one. you may have failed before but failing is all about the process. you have learned. now enjoy yourself.

pile 3 ::

this feels a lot like pile 2 but this is more... love based. if you have been trying to improve a relationship, bring one in, start one because someone caught your eye, etc. this is your confirmation.

this could be love from another person, this could be love for yourself. but there is love regardless of what is going on here. there's a lot of prosperity. not just emotionally, but physically. you are bringing in money. you are bringing in beautiful relationships

I am seeing a huge change in how you care for yourself as well. for some of you other relationships are the focus here. friendships, family, coworkers. you are gaining the courage to be who you are. and people who are meant to be in your life are coming in for you.

I do think some of you have to leave or had to leave something behind. it's been a long journey that you have gone through, but now you are gaining that balance. your life is coming to its complete circle. there is no longer a reason to fear. you are finally stepping into your power.

the only thing I'd say is that your guides are urging you to have patience. or continue to do so because it's paying wonderfully and you will see it soon.

other intuitive messages:: some of you may be traveling or changing how you see the world. spirituality could be a big thing for some of you. number 6 again is big here. Third eye chakra is a big thing. LEOS --- confidence. and yea. the colors purple and yellow.

[slothgiirl]

trashpile: influencer lite

thing i have had in my wip pile but have decided to not work on but i wanted to have it saved somewhere, notes and all.

9k. timothee x reader

you were the former ghost content creator for an influencers team (PR, manager, photographer). now is moving to do assistant PR relations for an auction house in NYC. gets invited to party w influencer (met in college). 

T.C is there. 

likes going to concerts and finding places to c on tiktok. tries out food recipes and going skating around central park. getting drinks w friends after work and thrifting (be green). fun media (schindler's list made me depressed for like a week yet all the books i want to read r depressing nonfiction). music is a big deal!!! maximalist!! 

@ameliababy  @pinksidekick  @harpyhagnyc  (jenny)

-1-----

“We look so fucking hot,” your former roomate and ex-boss as of yesterday smiles as she looks at the both of you in her diy mirror. It was a vestige of yesteryear's pandemic. It had been the influencer thing, but who hadn’t dabbled in do it yourself when there was nowhere to go! 

You pout, and immediately stop. It was giving more duck lips than Ashley Olsen. “Yeehaw at the old time road,” you joke. A cow print slip dress had to go with cowboy boots. Your smile looked better, cute instead of hot like Amelia, but it suited you.

You both looked hot. 

But realistically, even at your most pampered and dolled up, you were not the girl people approached at bars. So it would be a fun night as her plus one and that would be that. 

She laughs. “I’m so glad we can hang out before leaving for Paris! Ah! I’m so fucking excited!”

“I’m excited for you,” you tell her.

“It should be you too! You helped me like, grow my brand,” she burst into laughter, still trying to wrap her head around how Instagram had become her full time job. It was a modern day cinderella story. 

You shrug. “I’m taking the old degree out for a spin.” And New York city had always been your dream. Now you were here, done with school, working your first big girl job, you wanted to see how it went. 

“You're a PR girlie now,” she threads her hand through your arm and takes a few pics, “Some rich people thing right?”

“For an auction house,” you explain. You started last month. It was something very different from what you imagined while in college. “It’s cool. My coworkers are chill. I mean, its no pawn stars-”

“That show is so freaking binge worthy. Like, it really got me through pulling all nighters.” 

“Just me, you,” you laugh, “and some Las Vegas pawn store people.”

“Yeah like, if I had to follow a storyline and keep up with a billion seasons of Grey’s I don’t think I’d have studied. Then again, I did drop out.” She cringes for a second, before shrugging. “Facebook might be destroying the world but at least I didn’t have to finish college.” 

You laugh. “There’s a bright side to everything.”

The place is done up to be instagram worthy, with cute plant covered walls and a shark disco ball as Nu plays in the background. The tables all have cute petit fours but everyones too busy taking pictures aka doing their job to eat. 

One wall had #nuvision which had to be the brand or tagline for whatever was being promoted. 

“Here,” Amelia says, dragging you into the frame with some other girl who had instaface, and someone else takes a picture. “You don’t mind do you?”

“Naw,” you wave it off. “It's for your stories? Right?” 

“Yeah, it's more organic that way. What’s your handle,” Amelia asks the other influencer. 

“@justagirlmp3,” she explains casually, “yours?”

“@ameliababy.”

“Oh how cute! I keep wanting to do the plant thing but mine always die or just don’t grow.”

“I’ve always taken care of plants,” Amelia explains and you look around, wanting a drink in your hand. 

“I’m going to get a drink, want anything?”

“Um. No, later. I’m going to mingle and whatnot,” Amelia smiles. “Our table’s near the back.”

“Okay.” You squeeze her arm before going off. You’d settle for nursing a vodka cranberry. 

It’s a bit of a squeeze, trying not to bump into people and surrounded by the people from insta. It was typical: kids from tiktok, the girls from insta, and industry types. Someone walks by in last season's Mugler and you’re not even surprised. 

You find the bar, across from the little set up dance floor and even though you know its instagram bait the same way those pop up museums are, having done content for Amelia, the shark disco ball is still making you lose your mind. It’s too good. 

Then Jeremy O’Harris walks by you in all his maximalist glory. 

Oh! 

You do a double take as you settle in at the bar, waiting for your turn. 

It was that type of event. 

There were actual famous people here. 

“Star struck,” the man next to you asks. 

“A little,” you turn to look at him while babbling, “his instagram is so funny.” And his style was great. 

Your words make him laugh. 

He was lanky with chocolate curly hair in sweatpants and a windbreaker. The odd sort of grace in his features, almost ugly but definitely interesting, makes you think he might be a model of some sort. Models, you had learned, were pretty alien from how beautiful they were. 

“I would have said his plays,” the man sniggers, tipping his drink at you. 

“This is going to make me sound super uncultured,” you wince, mouth dry because you never knew what to say to people out of the blue and this was exactly why you were so awkward, “but I am such a bad reader. But I did watch that internet play he did.” The bar tender spots you.

Thank god. 

You needed to shut up and stop embarrassing yourself.

You order a cranberry vodka. 

“Didn’t catch that but Slave Play,” his eyes widen, for some reason still talking to you which felt like a joke, “wow.” He deadpans like Owen Wilson, “It was amazing. Got robbed at the Tonys though.”

“I only liked Hamlet,” you admit, “it's like the only play I didn’t sparknote. My teacher was really passionate about it so it actually clicked for me. I think it’s the way she taught it, first having us watch it performed and how plays just don’t hit the same when read off page but I couldn’t exactly go to Broadway las summer,” the summer of the pandemic. You sip at your drink, the tartness cancelling out the burn of the vodka. 

“You should try reading it sometime if you're such a fan,” he says lightly. “I’m Timothee.”

You tip your drink at him, introducing yourself. “Nice to meet you. II’ll probably get the book and it’ll sit on my shelves for ages. It’s rare for me to really get into a book and read more than a chapter at a time.” You were a slow reader hence sparknoting most books or else you wouldn't have ever completed the assignments. It took time for you to parse out the meaning, the subtext.

Timothee laughs again. “I like the honesty.”

“Thank you,” you giggle, before glancing around. It seemed like the work part of the night was winding down. People were starting to head to their tables. “It’s like Fran Lebowitz said, life’s too short to watch a boring movie or finish a book you don’t like.”

“Ah,” he points, “but you have to try first.”

“Or it could be my second play.” You shrug. “I mean, shame on me. I’ve lived in the city for nearly five years now and never been to Broadway.”

“No! No,” his expressions are captivating in their openness, “you have to go. Watch anything. But rush the show for the optimal Broadway experience.” 

“I did see Mamma Mia at my college’s theater,” you try with a laugh. “It was a good time. Nowhere near as sparkly as the movie.”

“You can’t beat Colin Firth,” he agrees. 

“Right! It was like the scene from Pride and Prejudice all over again.” The BBC version was your experience with Jane Austen. “My teacher, same one as Hamlet, was like please don’t sparknote the book just watch the deep dive BBC series from the 90s.” 

“I can’t tell if that's amazing or if she should’ve pushed the book.”

“Whatever works,” you shrug, “and it was AP english so I don’t think it was that we didn’t know how to read a book. I just don’t know that high school books are the most. . .interesting though I get that they matter because of their influence. And catching those references.” 

Timothee grins, “should’ve tossed in Baldwin or Tennese Williams.”

“I don’t know who they are,” you confess. “I was thinking more My sister the serial killer, not that my sister is a serial killer,” you add lamely.

He throws his head back and laughs with you, “glad we cleared that up.”

“Okay maybe I’m just a bad reader.” You laugh, “The book on my nightstands about to start invading my nightmares.”

“Very Spongebob tries to write an essay,” he brings up, then scrunches his brows, “is Spongebob just as culturally important as Shakespeare?”

“Yes! The Spongebob generation is about to start including some deep cuts in their emmy award winning shows.”

Timothee shakes his head, smiling widely. “I wouldn’t be surprised if that already happened.”

You’re half done with your drink and you still haven’t had anything to eat. The petit fours were right out of Marie Antoinette. “Well, it was nice meeting you,” you smile, wanting to get back to Amelia. “See you around,” you say in the same way you’d tell classmates you’d only talked to in class but hadn’t made the leap to friends with. Guys who looked like that didn’t bother with girls like you. 

New York was different in that you had found friends and expanded the definition of who you could be but some things remained as distant as ever. 

“Yeah,” he says, biting his lip, “see you around.” 

Amelia is uploading a picture of her plate, artfully arranged. “Did you see Hari Nef was here?”

“Yeah, I did see some famous faces,” you note with a quick wink, “what's this event for again?”

“Some new cool camera lens for filming and Nokia,” she explains. “I know, it's like people who actually do stuff instead of being walking billboards.”

“What a self drag,” you snort.

“Gotta keep it light and fun. Be able to laugh at yourself.” She dusts her shoulder off. 

“Eh, you're always risking it all for the shot.” And you gas her up about her job, “besides, not everyone can come up with all those fits you’ll change into and haul around.” 

“Who would’ve known,” Amelia laughs, “an influencer's secret weapon is my bag from college to haul around outfit changes. Which reminds me! You have to come visit me in Paris. I promise not to make you carry my bag up the Eiffel tower this time.” 

It’s bittersweet. You love her. She was your first friend in the city and you too did everything together for a good while. She was still who you texted when you were feeling stuck ina  funk and her leaving right as you began the next stage of your life felt like the start of a slippery slope into depression all over again. 

You were still happy for her.  “It was my workout for the month,” you joke, trying to have a good time instead of spiraling, “Can’t skip leg day.”

 -------2-----

You had a gut feeling not to go out tonight. Zara was a friend. Not a close friend, but the friend who had known where all the plots were for the weekend. The fun friend. 

Senior year, you buckled down and studied. You guys had grown distant and that was further amplified once you graduated. While you had been wiping down your fruit with clorox wipes, she had uploaded posts of her on vacation in Miami. 

Now she was making more money waitressing in Manhattan than you were in your “career” job.” 

But she had hit you up and anything seemed better than staying in on a Saturday night like a loser. You were young and living in your dream city. Going out was a no brainer.

There would be plenty of nights in: monday through thursday. 

From the get go you had been the odd one out. Zara’s college friend: the others all hung out more.

But oh well. You had done your makeup and felt cute in a dress and sparkly mesh top underneath. You were going to enjoy a few drinks. 

It would still be a nice time.

And then the universe decided to shit in your dinner once again as they say in Castlevania. 

You had come back from the bathroom and they were gone. You sent Zara a text. 

Zara: oh we decided to go to the bar down the street instead 🤪 

It was a sign. 

You could read the room.

It was only ten pm but you were calling it a night. Time to watch 13 going on 30 again. Not cry. You were a big girl who could deal with set backs. No more depression, none of that. This was fourteen year old you’s dream since the first time you watched the Devil Wears Prada. This was what you worked for all those nights studying. 

It would be fine. 

You weren’t fifteen and eating lunch alone anymore. You had other people in your life: a halloween murder mystery dinner where you were just dying to go as Marie Anoitnette with a line of blood across your neck.

You head out the door. 

“Hey, I didn’t actually think I’d be seeing you again,” Timothee says as he’s entering the bar. He looks good, curls falling into his face. 

“Big city,” you nod, it was a chance coincidence to ever see the same person twice in a city of millions.

“Heading out already,” he asks as you both hover by the entrance. 

Not wanting to feel like the world’s biggest loser that got ditched, you lie, “yeah, I-my friend had an emergency.” It really wasn’t that big of a deal. Zara could be unreliable. 

“You sure you don’t want to stay and grab a drink,” he offers kindly, his eyes taking in your outfit, “I’m meeting up with some friends.” 

“Oh-,” you shake your head, “you don’t have to-”

“But I want to,” Timothee shrugs with a grin, tilting his head towards the bar, “come on.”

“I-,” there was no reason not to. But you didn’t want some puty invitation either.

“It’s okay,” he grins, “it's fine if you don’t want to, but the offer’s there. Unless you want to wait until the next press thing to run into each other.”

“I doubt that,” you laugh, “I was my friend’s plus one. She’s a social butterfly but hates going to places alone.”

“So?”

“Okay,” you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “yeah. I could go for a drink.” 

Timothee leads you into the bar, winding his way through the crowd easily with his tall lithe frame. The bar isn’t huge, but there’s enough time for anxiety to find its way into the palms of your hands, dampening with sweat as you follow him over to where his friends are. 

“Ally cancelled,” a black girl with hair bobbed to her chin greets Timothee with an eye roll, “again.”

“Oh please,” the blonde guy next to her laughs, “I couldn’t even get a text back when you were dating that one girl. At least she let us know!”

“I did not!”

“Did too.”

“You did,” Timothee piles on, “This is the girl from the party I was telling you about.”

You’re surprised, feeling your cheeks flush. He’d talked about you? He’d remembered you to start with? “Hey-,” suddenly feeling nervous all over again about interrupting him and his friends. Maybe you should have just left.

The last guy at the table sits up, that ambiguously brown look that could be Italian, Iranian or some country that would be a question on Jeopardy. “You mean,” he intones meaningfully. “The girl.”

Timothee runs a hand through his head, looking away, “yeah.”

The guy smirks, “2021, it’s your year man!” 

Timothee flushes, rolling his eyes. 

“We already started. Gotta love garlic cheese fries,” the girl cuts in from whatever that was, “I’m June. That’s Jakob,” she gestures at the blonde next to her, “and he’s Anton.”

“Nice to meet you.”

Before you can start worrying about where to sit, June scoots over, “the zombie here comes with those gummy eyes.”

“First jello shots,” Jakob starts, “a little pregame for them.”

“Jello shots are only fun at house parties,” Anton complains, “or in those halloween syringes.”

“You’re such a snob,” June snaps back.

“I’ll just have a beer,” Timothee states, grabbing a fry off the plate. “And we went to an arts high school, no one’s worse than theater kids! I can admit that about myself.”

“Don’t drag techies into this,” Jakob retorts. 

“Sure,” Timothee snorts, “keep telling yourself that.”

Anton raises his own beer.

“Drinks people,” June taps the table, “we are here to drink! Not think about that awful staging of shrek!”

“No way Shrek’s a musical,” you say, “that’s such a cash grab. Shrek is perfect as is.”

In unison, Timothee and Anton go, “shrek is life.”

“Don't be boring,” Jakob says. “Get a gross cocktail or something. A bloody mary.”

“Bloody mary’s are gross. It's soup pretending to be a drink,” you point out. The correct way to soup was warm and on a rainy day at home, preferably with a slice of bread. 

“She’s right,” Timothee nods, “Nothing good about a bloody mary. It comes with celery. Another strike against it.”

“Speaking of cocktails,” June winks, “there’s this bar that has dalgona martinis. Perf for squid game.”

“I still haven’t watched it,” Timothee admits, “I’ve been jet lagged like crazy.” He pulls a face, going cross-eyed, head drooping. 

You laugh. “Is it that show like? Battle Royale?”

“Kind of,” Jakob tilts his head. “It’s like Battle Royale, American Ninja Warrior and Parasite.”

You cringe. “I didn’t watch that. I could just tell it was going to be one of those serious critically acclaimed movies and I couldn’t do it! II couldn’t spend the next week having a midlife crisis and depressed over a movie. Did enough of that in 2020.”

Timothee nods, “fair point. Sometimes you just need to turn your brain off and watch Zoolander.”

“I love Zoolander!” You were so there for cheesy 2000s movies. They were such a comfort.

“You should! Watch Squid game I mean,” Jane nudges your elbow, “after we get our dalgona martinis.” 

“You’re really set on that aren’t you,” Timothee teases. “Don’t you have a dance class to teach.”

“Choreographer now, actually. And I have to do technical work with the company. That’s true,” Jane covers her face with a hand. “But not until Monday! Aye!”

“Just don’t go to Germany,” Anton says as the waitress drops off a round of jello shots and an assortment of drinks. You feel for her arm. You’re in awe of her arm strength. “Especially not if the headmistress is Markos.”

You laugh, having watched Suspiria the first week of October. You had not understood it at all, but the ending scene was pretty good.

It’s nice.

Timothee and his friends.

You drink the zombie and settle in without ceremony. No one bats an eye. It’s easy to make conversation and they include you without thinking. 

Not a bad Saturday night. 

And Timothee’s smile wasn’t bad either. 

anton @antonofff  jakob @tech_mech  june @juneb0ateng  cancelled: @allymarker 

-------3----

“Fuck, its here too!” You and your three roommates were running around like chickens with their heads cut off. There had been water on the floor of the bathroom. When you’d looked around the apartment, you’d found water in the kitchen, in the closet you shared with your roommate. The place was flooded.

“Asshole landlord hasn’t answered,” José complains. “Evelyn?”

“It’s spreading to the hall,” she shouts back.

“Let’s just get everything off the floor we can and open the windows,” you try. This had never happened to you before. Calling the landlord was your one and only play here. Rent had been paid. 

“Fuck no. I’m not staying here,” Evelyn complains, “what if it's water from the sewer!”

Your toes curl in your shoes from disgust. Gross. 

“Dark horse solution,” Connor comes out of his room with a bag, “we bounce.”

“Uh-uh,” Evelyn crosses her arms over her chest. “I paid for the month. They’re not keeping my coins.”

“Well we can’t stay here,” José points out. “Evelyn's right. The wayers probably gross. And like mold, right?” He pauses, “oh-I-I have contact, hi Mr. Patel,” he goes out into the hall.

You scroll through your phone, trying to think of whether to get a hotel for the night or search up who needed a roommate right now. It was so fucked up. 

Sure, you lived in a shoebox. The place smelled like tobacco no matter what scent diffuser you plugged in, and you were paying a small fortune for a shared room, but if you stuck your head out the window, there was a view. 

Yeah, time to find a new place.

This was a sign. 

You scroll through your feed. 

@harpyhagnyc love is fake (pic of cutting up ex bfs clothes

You don’t even think, dialing her phone as you toss your meager possessions into the carry on suitcase that had by some miracle been on the top shelf storing a small fortune in textbooks on marketing from college. “Hey, I just saw-”

“He’s such an asshole,” Jenny replies, “I should’ve seen it coming. Bringing up a threesome after I told him I was bi was a major red flag!” 

“Jesus christ.” He sounded like an asshole. 

“I know!” You hear background noise of what sounds like ripping. “I met his fucking parents! I wore no makeup like a nun and didn’t say shit when they brought up illegal immigration!” More noise and you wonder what exactly she’s destroying. “And he has the audacity to cheat on me with some bitch with no tits!”

You sort of want to laugh even though the situation sounds awful. Jenny was older than you by five years. She'll be thirty soon. This was her relationship. She lived with the guy. They’d bought dishes together. 

José starts arguing over the phone and you can just tell you’re not getting the deposit back. Connor was right. Time to bounce. The commute from Washington Heights to your job was a nightmare during rush hour. 

“What’s up with you,” Jenny asks. 

“Apartments flooded.”

“Fuck,” she replies immedietly. “You have anywhere to crash. That shit takes ages to fix.”

“I was about to go on like airbnb but instagram happened.”

She laughs. “Fuck airbnb, jacking up rent prices. No. Come over, help me be the crazy ex girlfriend that sets the teddy bear on fire! And have pizza. I need something greasy to make it through the night.”

“No-I can’t do that to you.”

“I insist. . .and you do the file on that atrocious pair of earrings. Seriously, my earlobe detached just from looking at them.”

 You sigh. Looking behind you as Evelyn decided to give Mr. Patel a piece of her mind, you figure it wasn’t getting solved tonight and finding a new place would take time. “Yeah. Okay. Send me your address.”

Jane snorts, “I sent you to buy me tampons and I haven’t even invited you over.”

“Hey, I was into those bagels you got us. And we braved the thrift store together. Moving clothes down the rack is a workout,” you comment. 

“It is. Let me know when you get here.”

“K,” you nod even though she can’t see. 

You hang up, googling her address quickly. Without Amelia here, and still annoyed at Zara, there was no one else you felt a strong urge to tell your apartment was flooded other than your timeline. You weren’t about to worry your mom and grandma about this. Not when they lived across the country. 

Your thoughts stray to Timothee and June but you barely knew them. The night had ended with taxis home and realizing you never so much as exchanged info. Maybe he realized he didn’t want to hang out again? Maybe you were all too drunk. Either way, you doubted the universe would toss you a third bone. 

People didn’t go out of their way for you like they had Amelia even in sweatpants. She just had that magnetic factor: being photogenic was the cherry on top. You had to make the effort to hang out with people and make friends. 

And even then, you had a resting bitch face. Probably the reason, after being majorly depressed all of high school, that you had been such a loner. 

“So,” Connor asks, unplugging his Nintendo, “what did he say?”

Evelyn looks pissed.

José answers, “it’s wednesday night. He’ll try and get someone in tomorrow but you know, try and deal with it until then.”

“Unbelievable,” Connor huffs.

Evelyn says, “yeah, I’m going to go stay with my parents. Fuck. I managed to go through a pandemic without moving back home, but this!”

“Did you ask him to pay our hotel,” Connor asks more to the point.

“I sent him pictures and he thinks its not that bad.”

“Oh fuck him.”

“It’s our own little private beach,” you deadpan, “might as well charge more for that.”

“I hate how right you are,” José says.

You look at your roommates. It had been about a year. You knew José from a comparative lit class. The amount of bullshitting you had done for those participation points! 

Connor was clean. 

Evelyn came in at 3 am from clubbing. 

Pretty good as far as roommates go.

“I’m going to go crash at a friends.” You tell them.

As if your apartment flooding wasn’t bad enough, the MTA had announced a delay. So it was just you and your suitcase in the subway like a loser. You weren’t about to walk from Washington Heights down to East Harlem. Not with the suitcase.

In your first days in New York, when you only ever looked up, at the buildings, the skyscrapers, not blinking at the thought of taking the subway because being there to take the subway was a dream come true, back when you’d walk from your dorm to Greenwich village and always take selfie near Washington Square Arch, then you’d gotten a job. All the papers and projects had beaten you down. You were busy ghost making Amelia’s content and hating the subway with a passion. 

It takes twice the amount of time it should to get to where Jenny lives. It’s a straight shot and the MTA fucks even that up.

(Your mom had called you the moment she’d seen videos of flooded subway stations.)

You're expecting Harlem but she lives on the border of Yorkville. You can’t see it, only hear the highway where cars go to park, but you know that Central Park is nearby. 

It’s nice. 

You look up at the buildings, brownstones, murals by street artists and storefronts full of mom and pop shops, and remember why you love the city. Like a crazy person, which doesn’t raise any eyebrows here, you do a little twirl on the sidewalk, nearing the edge so no one shoulder checks you for blocking the way. 

New York City. 

The big apple.

The city that never sleeps.

There was no other place like it. You’d take all the pizza rats in the world over living anywhere else. It was a love hate relationship. You hate the city, but you hate everywhere else more and take the city over fucking Texas. Or worse, a flyover state. 

You had done that already.

You breathe in the shitty air, cigarettes and burnt oil from a restaurant nearby and feel content.

Jenny buzzes you up, “I’m packing his shit up. But keeping all that ikea shit.”

You laugh, “sounds about right.”

“Now I’m going to have to pay all the rent. Like half the reason to have a boyfriend is to split rent, right? And sure,” she leads the way through the building. It’s brick and old enough to not have an elevator despite being five stories tall. She’s on the fourth floor. “Kevin pays half, and he’s a dream. Does like, help center stuff from some website and keeps vampire hours,” Jenny did dress in  lots of oversized textured black garments that made her vaguely look like a batman outline, or Morticia Addams grandmother. “but still! I’m back to that thousand dollar rent for the weirdest fucking apartment.”

She unlocks the door.

“Oh my god I love your windows.” They let in so much light that it didn’t feel like a shoebox you note. It's a great place. Though the living room is such a wonky shape, practically its own walk-in closet cut off from the rest of the space like it had been an afterthought. There was a cheap ikea desk, but the computer was gone. 

“One day I’ll be one of those plant hoes,” she utters. “My pipes broke one winter when I was in college. Nightmare. And the landlord was so shitty, set me up in a roach infested motel.” She does a full body shiver and you fight the urge to check yourself for roaches. 

“I hope it's not that bad but I’m sick of sharing a room,” you admit. “I can afford my own room.” It’s cut into your budget, less savings, more rent, but sharing a room was so college. 

“Yeah, the auction house is pretty good. I mean, its just rich people’s version like an estate sale. Instead of grandma’s Sear’s dress its like vintage chanel.”

You laugh because it was so accurate. You’d handled diamonds the size of your fist. “That’s a good way to put it. Though so far all my PR work has been doing research and background checks. Is that even PR?” 

“Who knows,” Jenny shrugs, “I do the repairs. Or find the specialists. There's like three clock guys in all of New York.”

“I’m surprised a ghost hasn’t followed us home.” You grin.

“Shut up. Just what I need, a freeloading roommate. No, if you haint me you’re paying rent.” She pours you a glass of cheap wine, barefoot brand. “I need to watch Gone Girl before I gone girl Preston.”

“That name’s a red flag,” you utter, “like the villain from Riverdale.” 

“Totally. Hindsight is twenty twenty and I’ve always had a thing for finance bros,” she admits. 

You look up thoughtfully. It hadn’t been until college when you had started to have romantic experiences of any category, and you always had the lingering doubt it was a joke on you. There wasn’t really a common denominator there. “I had a date in college make me cup noodles.” It had been bad.

Maybe he had just being trying to have sex? 

You don’t know. 

You just went to the bathroom and never went back. 

“Oh god,” she snorts, “even the cafeteria food would’ve been better. Sneak some out in a container.”

It wasn’t a bad idea. 

You hadn’t bought the meal plan. “I think I only ate there once. It felt pointless to go there when there’s so many deli’s and pizza joints on every corner.” 

“Well, as long as they don’t mansplain bitcoin every time it pops up on the news. I do antique restoration! I don’t care about NFT,” Jenny points out.

You laugh. “Still not sure how that's worth anything? Can’t you just screenshot it?”

“No clue.”

“Fuck I’m not great at math or art,” you pout. Maybe you needed to work on those creative juices, go pick up a cheap set of acrylics at Michaels.

“Are you kidding? The birthday card you made me was so cute. Sure, in a corporate soulless marketing way but cute.”

Your shoulders shake from the laughter, “thanks for that. I guess I need to start my own aesthetically pleasing in a clone of that girl instagram.” 

“It’s so boring!” Jenny complains. “Same-y same.”

“Maybe you're just a bitter millennial.” You comment with a wry smile.You agreed with the sentiment to a point. If they weren’t hurting anyone let them have their white walls and artfully arranged açai bowls. You would stick to whatever you found as you rushed out the door. 

“Maybe,” she drinks her wine. “That could be it.” 

“No. I do think there’s like overarching aesthetics for the moment. I mean, mid 2010s hipsters? 90s heroine chic and early 2000s boho?” You could go back further but you;d made your point. 

“Hey, you wanna go get pizza and walk around central park,” she asks. “Before it's too cold to leave my bed.”

“Sure,” you smile brightly. You loved a good walk around a park. And Central Park was the park. Huge, it felt like going camping without the hassle. “I’d love that.”

“Ooh,” she holds up a hand, “let me go get my sketchbook. Oh and toss your things in the living room. It was Preston’s zoom room last year but who knows what it’ll be now. Putting a couch there is kind of pointless. I’ve always had my tinfoil hat theory that it’s supposed to be a bedroom or something.”

“Thanks again.”

“No worries,” she smiles. 

------4----

“If weed is legal in new york,” Jenny wonders, “then where the hell do I buy it.” You had both made plans to see some sci-fi movie she was into. 

Between sorting your shit out and finding a room divider, Chinatown was a godsend even if it had been really annoying to cart the brown wood divider from Chinatown to East Harlem, you hadn’t really hung out. Not properly. Work didn’t count.

The living room had been partitioned off for you. A cool 600$ instead of 500$ for just a bed. Kevin had set up a chore wheel. 

“No clue. Didn’t it just become legal.” You had never bought weed before. Someone would have it at house parties and you’d take a few puffs or eat a firecracker. You had never actually bought weed. 

Swiping idly through instagram, you realize you have a message. 

@rhinestoneyez (tc finsta) : i nvr got ur n#

@rhinestoneyez: thank gd for insta 🥴i guess 

You frown. 

With a tap of your finger, you go to their profile but the picture is some blurry landscape and they don’t have their name anywhere. The account is also private. Yours was not. Small as it is.

You had nothing to hide, and rarely posted anything other than funny memes. 

But your name was on your insta. 

@pinksidekick: who is this🧐

@rhinestoneyez: *pic of TC* 

“It did. I think only this year,” Jenny tells you, “I need to watch Dune high! It’ll be so meta.” She holds up her fingers like an Italian chef, “the spice must flow!”

You laugh, happy to see your friend happy. She had been through the wringer, going through a shitty breakup. “Can we get it delivered?”

There had to be some way to get it. People were lazy. You could get anything delivered now. 

Your fingers hover over your phone. Timothee had done the work. He had found your instagram. You swallow, not sure how to feel. 

He was nice and you liked talking to him. You’d had a good night with him and his friends, but you were lost as to what to do now. What to say? How to go from here. 

Looking someone up on insta wasn’t unusual. 

Like your therapist had said, you reason that if he dm’d you, it was because he wanted to. You didn’t need to overthink it. Occam's razor. 

“Good idea,” Jenny says, leaning against the kitchen bar, “let me figure that out.”

You decide to send a friend request. Easy, low pressure. 

Even though he had sent the message, you still feel your stomach churn as you wait. 

You close the app and when you open it again, you can see his profile. It’s mostly random pictures and selfies, both flattering and now, a couple shots of some cool graffiti. It checked out. He checked out.

@pinksidekick: ahhh i was hoping it was june 

@rhinestoneyez: heY

@pinksidekick: but ur not bad either

@rhinestoneyez: ty ty i will take what i can get 

You bite your bottom lip. 

Was this flirting? Or were you just being dumb. 

“Okay,” Jenny tells you, “there’s a dispensary on the other side of Central park for us which would be faster than getting it delivered apparently. So let’s go! Let’s go nerds! Let’s go!”

You shake your head at her, “says the woman who doesn't know where to buy weed.”

“I took red ribbon week to heart,” she jokes.

You grab a coat but forgo a sweater in the October evening. 

@rhinestoneyez: i was thinking we should meet up on purpose

@rhinestoneyez: instead of leaving it up to whether or not mars is in retrograde

@pinksidekick: idk??? 

@pinksidekick: ill have to see how my crystals r vibing 

@rhinestoneyez: lmk 

@rhinestoneyez: ill b in the city by the start of november

@pinksidekick: traveling in a panorama🤮

*insert meme*

@rhinestoneyez: put the pitchfork down

@rhinestoneyez: i have moderna

@rhinestoneyez: pfizer

@rhinestoneyez: j&j

@rhinestoneyez: astrazeneca 

@pinksidekick: okie hehe 🍾 i dont have plans for november ,, and in free pretty much every weekend

Jenny grabs your elbow, “get off your phone zoomer!”

“Isn’t that why I have you?” You joke and put your phone in your huge coat pocket. 

You enter the dispensary and immediately are assaulted with the smell of skunk and patchouli that you could never tell if you liked or hated. 

The inside intimidates you the same way a the big Chanel or Louis Vuitton stores with bodyguards do. You felt like a five year old masquerading as an adult (exactly why 13 going on 30 spoke to your soul). 

“This is going to sound very galaxy brained of me,” Jenny warns you as you both look at the various displays and apparently having a weed habit was expensive and another reason you didn’t like going clubbing. Guys were not sending you free drinks and 15$ drinks burned a hole in your wallet . “But, should we get edibles because smoking is bad.”

You laugh. “It’s weed not kale.”

“I know, but no form of smoking is great?” She firrows her thick brows, “right?”

“We live in new york. We probably have that second hand smoke thing.”

“You’re not wrong,” she tilts her head in acknowledgement. “I think I’ll get some gummies though.” 

“Should I get one too,” you wonder out loud, now that you are here. “Like emergency edibles?”

“Do it! Why not?”

You both buy gummies and pop one as soon as you step out of the store. 

They’re a little weird tasting, stale and wrong like those Dots candies no one wanted on Halloween. 

“At this rate,” Jenny says, leading the way to the subway station. Her weird indie theater for Dune was not that far from where you lived, but too far to walk when the movie started in an hour. “It should kick in at the end of the 1984 movie and we’ll be perfect for the new one.”

“Wait what?” You ask, having agreed the moment she had explained she had two tickets because she was going to go with Preston before he cheated, so you were fuzzy on the details. 

“It’s a double feature.” She explains. “First the old movie from the 80s then the new one. There’s like a break in between so we can go grab food.”

“Okay that actually sounds pretty fun,” you nod, but the best double feature-”

She holds up a hand, “don’t-”

“Is The Mummy and Mad Max Fury Road,” you offer, “They're both orange.”

“Oh so Willy Wonka fits the theme,” she rolls her eyes. 

“The Gene Wilder version,” you nod. “It’s so good. The boat cave scene!”

Jenny shakes her head. 

You finally arrive at the movie theater and it’s tucked into a skyscraper and again you’re hit with the realization that you live in New York City. There’s malls in skyscrapers. 

There’s a giddiness to your step that might be the weed. 

Jenny shows the tickets on her phone. 

You see the film poster for Dune and Venom 2 still playing and you wonder if you can just sneak into Venom because that was fun. “Did you watch Venom,” you ask Jenny. 

“I didn’t,” she wrinkles her nose, “I can’t with all the second hand embarrassment.”

You laugh, “the way I skip through any parts like that at home!”

Jenny grabs popcorn and you see a poster for a new movie by the dude who made The Grand Budapest Hotel which was so cute and funny. You thought you might like his other movies but Moonrise Kingdom was so boring! You smile, tilting your head, one of the actors looks like Timothee.

“Okay,” Jenny asks, nudging your shoulder as you head for the auditorium, “best seats in a movie theater. Go!”

“Middle,” you try, feeling like this was a trick question.

“I would say furthest up top,” she replies, “I just hate the ones right up in front of the screen.”

“Yeah, the first row sucks.” You can almost feel the kink in your neck at the thought. 

You’re in a movie theater with two movies starring Timothee Chalamet playing and it’s not until you see his face projected in front of you that it clicks that the actor was the guy you knew: the guy you were planning on meeting. 

You have no clue what happens in the movie apart from Oscar Issac being hot as you stare into space trying to digest that bit of information.

@pinksidekick: sends @rhinestoneyez his official insta ? 

@rhinestoneyez: oh yea

@rhinestoneyez: so what do u do for work 🥸

----5--------

“I thought you knew,” he cries with a smile, “you just weren’t being weird about it.”

“I-okay. That’s fair,” you agree, “but I didn’t! I thought you were some model or tiktok dude.”

Timothee laughs as you too walk to an arcade 

5. u and TC met up on purpose. its kinda awkward. end up going to an arcade and its good and fun and u realize hes like the closest thing to a friend uve had since u were 13.

----6-----

6. TC hits u up after like over a months silence (he was doing press) and ur like idk im busy. “doing what” “work? i have to go down into the archives of nyc main library” hes like “i can spend a day at the library” sneaks food in for u and ur like thats evil but he still feeds you a couple fries. then takes u for a bodega bagels OR dim sum.

7. TC invites u to hang w friends. ur like, my dude im going w roommate to a drag show (zara apologises and u to talk). hes like okay but then u have to compromise and come to our lunch thing tomorrow: cheese board at central park. everyone gets day drunk. TC traces figures into your side and it hits u he might actually like you! 

8. for work u go to some gallery opening and look at art that makes u wonder if it even is art. and the its like over a million dollars. its about creating realionships MS PR tells u and then ur rubbing shoulders w wall street ppl who dont care. and u overheard someone saying ur kinda ugly and ugly girls r easy. *cue crying at a painting and the artist is like oh u rlly like it and u lie and say yeah thats the reason and u get invited to her studio to pose. one of TCs friends is there! (pretentious ass anton)

9. art lady’s gf is fashion designer and is like u have an old ancestor face unlike instaface. be in my lookbook and ur like, i guess? and bridges r being built. u r at some house party by collina strada that's like a rave/vendor festival. run into TC who looks ridiculous and hes like yeah i wanted to wear the dress but i ended up w my titties out. june was invited bc she did the choreography for the show. 

10. u have to guide some fashion designer (daniel roseberry) through jewelry. hes like maybe i can buy some for inspo and use some for decor in the new store inside berdorfs goodman. (get sent some schiaparelli goodies) PR kinda sucks like only 50k and yr broke but u r meeting cool ppl tho most influencers r vapid. TC is like lets get a very later dinner? italian in some side alley on staten island and it's too late to go home so u end up booking a hotel room (fuck?) and ride a bicycle in the early dawn. (get papped) 

11. amelia is like why didnt u tell me u were dating TC! u have a day at work and timothee calls u and is like im not saying anything and they didnt get a clear ID so they shouldnt bother u but can i come over? and he does, u make food to calm down like yeah baby nothing like making pasta ! u watch bobs burgers and u tell him about how u want to paint ur room divider and hes like u think theyll hear us if we fuck? and ur like “get ur head out of the gutter OR we’ll never know if we dont try it out?”

12. timothee makes coffee and breakfast (toast and jelly) and jennys like ??? u look like the guy from dune which he finds funny af and then reclusive roommate (kevin) tells u all to shit up. jenny heads to jersey to visit her parents for the day. u and timothee go roller skating bc its 90s night and u love vengaboys 

13. u, june, and josé go to see beach bunny. u guys talk amd josé got a job running the media accounts of something super boring (a chain of family diners like four of them out in staten island and queens). junes like so… and ur all idk we have really DTR and u have feelings of like wow he does all these cool stuff and jetsets and like im from Reno and am like a floundering college grad. and junes like dont stress about it then yet. like just go w it. which josé is like hell yeah we r in our twenties time to make all the stories we will tell our pearl clutching family about next time we see them. june and u make plans to hit up a cute christmas themed bar (u invite zara). 

14. u and timothee talk thanksgiving and go look at music records. ur like my taste in music comes from the movie marie antoinette. and hes like oh ud like wes anderson (ur experiences r not relatable) and then u buy takeout and go back to urs and paint ur room divider. 

15. u spend xmas w evelyn in queens. text w timothee. he comes over at like midnight bc ur both in the city and u fuck. 

16. december. u work from home uploading a bunch of catalogue things on the auction houses website then go ice skating w timothee. this time u get papped and they can see ur face and ppl drag u for looking sloppy but like idk ur a normal person not an influencer. 

17. amelia calls u and does a mental health check on u and is like idk do u want a glow up aka getting ur clothes tailors and like ur not sure? ur also in reno watching reno 911 on youtube w ur family. u call timothee. u make nye plans. *pic of lake tahoe* 

18. kevin and jenny have brought leftovers from home. kevin is from staten island (i thought staten island was full of mob bosses) “jenny that joke is so old ur mama calls it mama” jenny is doing nyes w a costuming friend (ty, gay asian fashion designer who does theater costuming) and kevin is like i cant go there its just all of u dressing like ur in crimson peak so u take kevin w u and timothee and u go clubbing w him and his friends. u dont arrive together but u r on the list (1 Oak). end up at timothee’s place. 

19. u and timothee make breakfast and sleep together again and hes like im so into u its wild. and ur like haha u r sure thats not just ur dick talking and hes like no way. TDR u r dating. u put on youve got mail and hes like wow they and right after tom hanks lost everything to amazon and u two end up going to buy books at an independent store and grab lunch and read but u cant stop sneaking looks at him U R LOVESICK

20. ppl keep commenting asking about him on ur insta as u r just a working girl. it is now february. timothee brings u lunch to ur work bc he will b gone for a moment doing work and is trying to spend time w u. u have a spring trip to paris planned to c Amelia. 

21. u and josé and evelyn go rush phantom of the opera and catch up. u text timothee. catch like 1 person side eying u and like ugh u dont like that at all

22. paris trip in march. use ur three words u kno in french bc u love stromae. u and amelia do cute girl shit (cafes in the day and u read and do art and then go catch parties and clubs and see maneskin and all the museums w music and go to versailles in marie antoinette inspired dresses. it hails on u and amelia who tells u about the two french guys shes seeing and her roommate melanie who works in the dior atelier. 

23. timothee surprises u in paris and u spend the two days 2 have together having sex in the hotel room and only coming out for food. hes like we should go to a knicks game together and ur okay yeah. and he reads to u in bed. 

POTENTIAL END

24. u and jenny do afternoon tea w her costuming friend (Ty and Hitomi) and hitomi is looking for a place to stay. jenny mentions kevin might move to SF. ur like um i would like a door ? get in line. 

25. u meet timothees parents at a off broadway production. then grab dinner at gag and tollner. theyre nice nut unrelatable to u who grew up working class. like ur 99% sure ur mom has no clue who shakespeare is let alone tom stoppard or anna akhmatova. they r the type of family to go do a pottery class together and ur a latchkey kid. again, u feel the distance between the worlds u inhabit. 

26. u stay at his and hes like u r melancholy whats up? and ur like i cant rn i have to rush to work. u end up seeing each other a few days later when u go to a coffee shop and do work together. he reads scripts and u copywrite. then u finally r like ugh idk ur unrelatable and its all in my head but like, im the first person in my family to go to college! i feel weird idk and theres nothing timothee can really do to fix it but as soon as u say it out loud u feel silly and hes like open to listening and all and it ends up being a fuss over nothing

27. u grab dinner w timothee and ally and her bf (some computer sci rich guy) they all talk about travelling and meanwhile u only have a week of vacation time left so like u cant really and u just sort of sit there 🤡 

28. timothee goes to do work in la and invites u out but u cant rlly afford it and like ur not broke but student loan debt and rent and ur retirement fund. u talk to jenny about it and shes like idk if he offers accept? and also how u need to talk about it if u two move in together 

29. u, june and amelia do fashion week and amelia complains about nepo babies and june’s like yeah my parents r rich but like low end rich and u all talk about class and privilege and amelia’s like its just annoying when i spend hours pouring over 1000s pics to find the one good shot and these rich girls post whatever just bc theyre socialites my problem isnt w ppl w talent or that the door is opened for them but they still have to do the work to actually succeed after that initial door. you feel better and then u hit an after party for a brand. 

30. u get called a fame whore bc u popped up in fashion week feed and decide to put ur account on private after reading the second comment calling u ugly and how u need to shave that mustache. u and timothee and his sister grab lunch then go bowling. 

31. zara invites u to go kayaking. she brings two of her friends and u get soaked we and gross but its fun and free. 

32. kevin moves out. Hitomi moves in. you and timothee spend the week together before he leaves to go film dune 2 and hes like u have to visit me. 

33. u interview for other jobs (madewell marketing, spotify marketing) u see one for goldman sachs but it seems soul sucking. manager positions seem too professional for your meager year of experience. u end up at lifebowl (dumb salad chain for office workers) doing digital marketing. 

34. before new job starts, u go visit timothee on set. havent seen him in over two months, fuck. meet zendaya and all these stars and u tease him (ur lucky oscar issac isnt here) and he shows u around a bit but u two cant keep ur hands off each other. timothees like i want to spend every moment together and u laugh and ur like im such a dick when i wake up tho. hes like well im an early riser. and u complain about how he leaves clothes all over the floor and dishes in the sink at night and hes like move in w me and i wont leave any dishes in the sink. u laugh and hes like no im serious. or we can find a place u like he looks away nervous even tho ur naked together (his cum is on ur tits) and ur like when u get back and i get settled into my new job we can figure out but yeah id loved to move in w u

35. new job. jenny goes to work at christies ny. u go to get trini food and she admits shes looking for a new place that doesnt have memories of her ex. u and her rent a place in the hamptons from airbnb w evelyn and Ty. 

someone takes pics of u guys at the beach and evelyns like yeah ur on pinterest under boho chic ?? ur like wtf thats just me in sweats 

amelias texts u and is like lol at my gremlin friend unwittingly becoming a girl on the moodboards 

36. u zara, june, anton and jakob hang out. u go bar hopping and end the night doing karaoke. 

37. u, jenny and Ty go apple picking. jenny found a new place. shes moving in w Evelyn. u make apple pie and watch over the garden wall while drinking hard cider. (early september) 

38. timothee comes back and hes like here for two weeks before doing another project and u two try and find a place together. u fail bc of the small window of time and hes like okay new plan face time me and u figure it out? 

39. ur soul hurts bc all the places he likes r like 5k. and hes like okay lets do the math. break down our contribution in percentage. and u finally find a place. 

40. u go visit him in LA where preproduction is happening. u two take a day to go visit ur family which leaves u Sick of airports. 

41. u and timothee hang out in ur new place. c all the boxes and immedietly decide having sex is better than unpacking. 

END

[pornoes]

I feel like such an old lady when it comes to my relationship with and understanding of social media. I mentioned to a 20-year-old coworker recently that I had redownloaded instagram, and she said Instagram is dead and everyone is on tiktok. And like… tiktok just doesn’t feel like social media? I don’t get how it would effectively replace Instagram.

to me, social media is used to keep up with people you don’t see all the time. People who have moved away or gotten too busy to see face to face. maybe it’s because gen z is still in school and seeing their friends all the time that they don’t even need to be curious from a distance. or maybe they just don’t feel the need to keep up with people unless they already see them regularly. And I mean, why do I need to know what some random person from class of 2011 is doing? It’s not terribly impactful on my life. (Okay I actually do know the answer to that: primarily, it’s because I like to see the friends I lost touch with leading happy lives. A secondarily it’s because I am very nosy by nature.)

Aside from the social aspect though, I still don’t have warm and fuzzy feelings about using tiktok. It’s just there for churning out content, and I think I would feel so much pressure to have ideas and be funny or creative or unique and amass a following. It’s simultaneously completely impersonal and filled with way too much oversharing. I tried comparing it to tumblr to understand it better, since tumblr isn’t really about the social side of social media, but that didn’t help me. On tumblr you can just curate a blog full of other people’s stuff. You don’t have to make original content. Followers and mutuals are nice, but the validation you get on tumblr for having followers is meh and not having followers doesn’t feel like a failure.

Each new social media site is more and more reliant and dependent on the concept of marketing the self. Instagram really set this is motion with influencers, but with still images as the primary format the regular users have the option of just posting pics they would have taken anyway. I found Instagram to still take a toll on my self esteem but I didn’t feel compelled to make content specifically for Instagram. I was already taking pictures of concerts and trips before instagram. No one was making tiktok-style videos before tiktok though.

Idk. Maybe I’m just disconnected and missed the boat. I don’t keep up with social media apps as they come out, so perhaps the understanding that comes with the natural progression from one app to next has been lost on me completely. People complained about newspapers on trains disconnecting folks from one another hundreds of years ago. I don’t want to have that kind of outlook. But I can’t deny this shift from viewing content to creating content bundled up with the harsh judgement of likes and follows freaks me out. It feels likes something more than people avoiding eye contact on a train. It feels like the person becoming the product.

[gregoryjdillerblr]

2020: Pandemic, Murder Hornets, Riots and Protests, Monoliths, and the Rise of TikTok and OnlyFans.

2020 sure has been a strange and difficult year. Like everybody else, I was really looking forward to enter the new decade, the 2020s. My goal was to get on my own two feet and seek out a publisher to publish my books, something I have been wanting to do for many years now but kept pushing off because I was taking a hiatus and stuck in daydreaming of it happening instead of actually trying. Of course I’m doing it now, re-editing my novels while writing a new project, as well as seeking publishers to publish short stories with. But I’m here talking about 2020, since it’s near the end of an odd year

I remember back in December, riding the bus to the mall, where one crazy passenger was telling the bus driver that there was a virus wiping out China, that they were dropping like flies, and that Bill Gates was behind it all. My first thought was that this guy was fucking crazy; even the bus driver seemed to be annoyed by him. The man kept repeating himself all throughout the bus ride, and I couldn’t tell you how many times he said that this was Bill Gates doing, and that China was being wiped out.

A few months went by, and the Coronavirus found its way to the Untitled States. I am a movie goer, and I remember watching The Hunt in theaters just when the virus was hitting the US, me posting my movie ticket on my social media accounts that I wasn’t going to let the virus stop me watching the movie. Little did I know The Hunt was going to be the last movie I ever saw in theaters, and that Regal Cinemas would be closing theaters for good in the following months. I live near downtown Ithaca, NY, and the movie theater that was nearby in the Commons was Cinemapolis, who play a lot of more independent films than mainstream films. It was in this theater I watched films like Climax, Color Out of Space, The Lighthouse. Of course, the theater was forced to shut down. It’s still in the air whether the place has closed down for good or wait to reopen. Now I pass it and see the inside of it (the entire front is glass), noticing they had torn floorboards up and remodeling the place. 

I streamed films, paying the rent from as low as $6 to $20. I like to review, to talk about the films (and books I’ve read) I’ve watched recently. It’s the nerd in me that wants to talk about art and storytelling. It was cool seeing the films that were supposed to be in theaters at home. But knowing that these films were supposed to be in theaters, I couldn’t help but feel that I was missing that experience, to go to a theater, to pick out a seat (it’s usually in the middle for me), hoping to see new movie trailers I haven’t seen before, and experience the film in surround sound and on the big screen (I’m not a popcorn guy, I don’t buy it). 

Some films have been pushed back while others were streamed. I’m still waiting films like the wendigo horror flick Antlers, Godzilla Vs. Kong, The Conjuring 3, Tenet. HBO Max has announced it will stream three of the four films. Antlers was my biggest anticipated horror film of the year, and I still hope to God they would eventually stream the film rather than push it back. 

I work in retail. I was a department manager until about half way into the year, and when the whole pandemic started, there was a high demand to keep up with the flow of the almost endless flow of customers. When businesses were forced to shut down, people began to shop out of boredom. The store I work at saw an increase flow of customers. One of my good buddies and coworker told me that he helped a college girl who told him this was her very first time shopping, and she didn’t know how prices of meat work. Our store then laid down stickers to try to control customer flow, which aisle they are allowed to enter and which aisle they didn’t. Half the customers listened to the signs, and the other half didn’t. For those that didn’t, I pinpointed the signs out, and the main response I got was, “Oh, I didn’t see that there.” Eventually it got so common I stopped trying to pinpoint it out. I was a department manager, but I couldn’t enforce it like the upper management, but even they stopped trying, because there wasn’t really anything we could do to enforce it. 

Some customers got mad at other customers who weren’t wearing masks. Some of them argued. Some of them shouted at employees when customer hosts ask if they could give them a mask if they came in without one. It got so bad to the point that the store had to hire a third party security to help enforce the mask rules. But as of right now, there really isn’t much anybody to do to enforce it unless it’s enforced by state law. 

Because customers fear of going inside, online shopping saw a huge increase in sales. It got to the point that we department managers were called to help the online pickup crew. The lead manager over online pickup approved overtime, and a few of us were allowed to go in two hours ahead of our shift and help them out, just trying to fulfill orders the best we can. 

Toilet paper, paper towels, cleaning wipes, hand soap and sanitizers, rubbing alcohol, and Clorox and Lysol cleaners were wiped out. We saw many shelves emptied, naked to their metal frames where product was supposed to be. The company limited to a certain number of selected items so it was fare for all customers to buy, but the getting the supplies became difficult. Warehouses were getting low, and some even ran out of products that till this very day they are still out of. I was in charge of the frozen food section in my store, and I began to see a trend of what items were being wiped clean. Can fruits and vegetables were hit hard in the grocery department. The frozen fruits and vegetables were next. Everyday I had pull and breakdown a lot of emptied display boxes, and praying that the products would be coming soon. 

Things have slowed down, when businesses were up and running again, but to this day we are still having difficulties in getting some supplies in, or keep on the shelves. Toilet paper and paper towels slowed down, as well as hand sanitizers and soap, but good luck trying to get cleaning wipes and air sprays. Those are still gold.

With a pandemic comes the consequences of unease. When George Floyd was killed while a police officer was kneeing on him, suffocating him, the United States blew up with riots and protests. Major cities saw riots, businesses burning down. Police were shooting rubber bullets into crowds, including journalists. We saw much more police brutality in the videos that have gone viral. Police pushing elderly folks, cracking one’s head open in Buffalo, a city that’s just about three hours away where I live. In Rochester, a city that’s two hours away from me, saw some riot damage but nothing compared to those in other cities. In Ithaca, we only saw protests, nothing breaking out into riots, however, police did arrest a few protesters one night, after some of them blocked their way when the police were trying to rush to a crime scene. 

Some rioters took advantaged. They targeted business owners and killed them on the spot. Some injured police officers, and some protesters managed to block them before rioters got the chance to kill them. A retired police chief was killed while responding to a jewelry and pawn shop being robbed. Young 17 year old Kyle Rittenhouse killed two people and injured a third while trying to act as a mercenary for the police.  

Coronavirus cases spiked from large gathering of crowds, as America seemed to be on the heels of an apocalypse, torn apart by civil unrest. Protests were not only happening in the United States but in other countries as well, each trying trying to fight what is right. Videos have gone viral showing how police use their power in position, though some of them prove that some officers do what is right. I won’t go into much details about the riots and the protests. I do believe some police officers shouldn’t be police officers. I do know a few in my personal life, some of them more strict than others, but they are nevertheless good people; we just need a better system to separate the bad from the good.

Before George Floyd was killed, Asian Murder Hornets found their way across the ocean. In Washington State, a beekeeper noticed his hive was killed, their heads chopped off. He then collected the predator. It was confirmed to be an Asian Giant Hornet. There was then the fear that I saw online that these hornets were already their way across America, and a couple of my Facebook friends have had claimed they saw them in New York State. Because of George Floyd being killed wrongfully, the murder hornets became old school news. However, in October, there was the first confirmed case of a murder nest in Washington. It is believed the hornets have arrived on ships, since they cannot cross the ocean just by simply flying. 

During all of this, the US Government have confirmed that UFOs exist, providing us declassified footage. But we became forgotten about it, haven’t we?  Because deep down we already knew UFOs existed. 

As if 2020 couldn’t get weirder by the end of it, a silver monolith was found in Utah. It became instant news, as many people claim it was aliens that have planted the monolith there. Once it was all over the media, the monolith disappeared, but soon after there was one that had suddenly “popped” up in Europe. When that got viral, that monolith disappeared and another one came up in California. I figured it was a group of underground people on the internet discussing their plans to make 2020 weirder than it already was, and recently an Instagram post confirmed this, as the artist of the monolith in Utah is now trying to sell it. Sorry, guys, not really an X-File case. 

There were also the California wildfires that burned 4,359,517 acres of land, from 9,279 fires. California seemed to be suffocating with black smoke as fires rage. The smoke eventually reached across the nation. New York City was seen in a fog like state. Viral videos showed mountains of fire, as many forests were perished. Many were forced to evocate their homes, which many were left to burn. Homes and lives destroyed. As if things weren’t apocalyptic enough in 2020.

TikTok saw an increase. People began to make viral videos and challenges on the popular app. We see people making comedy videos. We see people make music videos. We see stupid challenge videos, trying to make a challenge go viral. We see people try to get though the day, no matter how difficult it was for them. Social media is a powerful tool these days, and the TikTok app seems to be one of the more recent ones that can make you instant internet famous, despite that countries are trying to ban it because the app was created by the Chinese. I do plan on getting TikTok shortly, if they don’t ban it (which I honestly think they won’t, but we’ll see). 

Another increase in popularity is the much more controversial website OnlyFans. Since many were forced to go jobless when businesses were shut down, many turned towards online to make money. OnlyFans was growing, but 2020 bloomed the website. Popular celebrities began to turn toward it, rather to release behind the scenes of photoshoots, songs, exercise tips, etc. Of course, OnlyFans is known for its popularity in the ever increasing of nudes or pornographic like content. Famous adult entertainers to maybe the girl next door use OnlyFans to earn money as they sell sexual content on the site. Because this is being 2020, and people are stuck in homes or single and the difficulties of dating someone, OnlyFans is a way to release that sexual tension, and those that are releasing content to make money. However you want to view it, OnlyFans is popping up everywhere on social media, and it’s a site that isn’t going away anytime soon.

Looking back at 2020 now, it has been a fast and surreal year. Liker everybody, I hope this pandemic goes away soon, despite that it’s looking like it may end next summer, the way they are predicting. I hope whoever is having difficulty that 2021 would be much more positive, that things will work out together. My message overall is this: please be kind to one another. Times are tough right now. Be positive, smile under your mask, and things will work out in the end. Cheers. 

[missingteethblog]

05/01/2020 - 19:26

Decided to change my user. I want to start a (one person - me) band called Missing Teeth so I changed my user to match that. Hopefully nothing actually happens and no one finds this but whatever I’m past the point of caring lol.

Third day in a row that I’ve woken up at exactly 7:23am to go to work (no alarms, just this exact time for some reason). And every time I’ve woken up to a song from Tomorrow Is Nearly Yesterday And Everyday Is Stupid (Crywank), so that’s a little weird since I shuffle my entire playlist before I go to sleep. Their final album also came out yesterday and it’s so beautiful and perfect. Every song flows into the next, and it tells a really intimate story about the band. Needless to say, I love it. Definitely not their usual content but what else do you expect from a band called Crywank releasing their final album titled Fist Me ‘Til Your Hand Comes Out My Mouth?

I think the situation with J (fucked up relationship, description in the last update) is sending me into a depressive episode (I mean, I already deal with chronic depression, but it’s making it a lot worse). I spent my entire lunch at work today listening to my ruminating playlist about it and just felt so, so numb. I was so stupid. How did I not see what was going on? Why didn’t I listen to my friends? I’m awful and a part of me believes that I deserved it. I hate him. That felt weird to type, but I hate him and I hope he knows that. 

Another part of me is trying to convince me that I am, in fact, being over dramatic and unreasonable. Trying to tell me that he was right. That he doesn’t deserve my hatred. That I am wrong and that I’m lying to everyone to get attention. It’s really fucking me up. That’s what emotional abuse does to you though, and I have to keep telling myself that what I experienced really did happen and that I have every right to feel upset and angry. He treated me like an accessory, because I’m thin, white, and conventionally attractive, and used to be so, so in love with him. He used that against me and manipulated and lied his way around everything. There’s a reason he has stayed the exact same since I met him 3 years ago, and that I have grown into a stronger and more mature person that he could never hope to control. That’s why he ran away when I confronted him that last time, because he knew that I was right and there was nothing he could do to twist everything around. He knew he fucked up, but it saddens me that that was the only time. He is a coward and a liar, and I fucking hate every inch of him. He ruined me, and continues to haunt me. His best friend (who I also used to be close with and trusted more than him because she treated me kindly) also turned out to be quite manipulative, so that’s fucking me up as well (not as much, but it still makes me upset). But did it really happen? Or is my brain making all this up to make me seem like the good guy? I don’t know anymore. I know he fucked me up, but the damage is done. Emotional abuse is fucking awful to try and recover from. I guess it doesn’t help that I only figured it out a couple days ago. 

Talked with one of my coworkers today, and I feel bad for calling him incompetent at his job (even though he is) and generally not liking him. He’s actually really nice to talk with, I found out that he’s been through a lot of shit, but he’s a really chill dude. AND he said that he thinks I’m funny and asked me how he’d never talked to me before. We talked a lot about what we wanted to do after high school (I told him about wanting to get a bullshit arts degree, and then buying a van and driving around and generally vibing with the earth) and he wants to be a therapist (cuz his experiences that he’s been through would help him help other people - which is really nice to hear :) ), we talked about tattoos and which ones we want to get once the studios open back up, and about drugs (he knows almost every plug in the city, so now I can get actual drugs instead of just weed and nicotine!!). It was a really pleasant interaction, especially after everything from a couple days ago. I really needed it and I’m glad it happened. 

Also, apparently I’m helping make a movie! This person I follow on tiktok posted about wanting to make one and dropping instagram users in the comments to DM us about it, and we’re genuinely making plans and assigning roles (currently I am filming and editing - which is something I haven’t done in years, so I’m really looking forward to it) and we’re going to all meet up once we’re older and the time is right so we can finish making it. I think this is going to turn out really cool, and I’m super excited for this project! I’ll definitely keep updates.

Instead of engaging in self harm tonight, I’m gunna smoke the rest of my weed and numb everything out by getting high. Really looking forward to it. Not looking forward to running out of weed though :( oh well.

Currently listening to Fist Me ‘Til Your Hand Comes Out My Mouth by Crywank. 

[kadobeclothing]

10 Social Media Content Ideas to Delight Customers

If you’re a marketing team of one or a marketing manager with various responsibilities ranging from social media to blogging, you know how daunting and time-consuming some tasks can be.

Namely, planning out a social media content calendar. That means figuring out an entire month of fresh content that needs to be engaging, stand out, and make consumers identify with your brand on social media. While that is a lot for a small team, it’s even more when you find yourself stuck in a rut. Are you worried you’re going with the same old, same old when it comes to social? Try these content ideas to re-vamp your posting game.

Social Media Content Ideas

Post your new blog on your Instagram Stories. Conduct a poll on Instagram. Share user-generated content on Twitter. Engage with audiences on Twitter. Create and share website content on Facebook. On LinkedIn, post articles/stats about your industry. Highlight milestones of your company on LinkedIn. Create graphics for Instagram and Facebook. Show the faces behind the company on Snapchat or Instagram. Use the times to your advantage.

1. Post your new blog on your Instagram Stories. To build traction on your website, try migrating customers towards your blog by putting it in an Instagram Story. Making the Story function in a “Swipe up to see more” fashion makes it easier for followers, since they don’t have to close the app to visit your website.

Image Source Take this story from WordPress’s Instagram account. The visual is a compelling lede, enticing readers to read the blog post. Followers like Stories because they go away after 24 hours, making the essence of the moment all the more thrilling. This is how different types of content can work together — you can use one platform to promote another. 2. Conduct a poll on Instagram. Using Instagram Stories is amazing for audience engagement. Hosting a poll on your Story is an interactive way to get your followers involved in making content choices for you. Asking a question in a poll like, “What do you want to see us post next?” and giving them a couple of choices ensures that the content they pick will delight your followers. Alternatively, you can use polls as a chance to prove credibility. Take this example from HubSpot:

Asking a question you can answer with a statistic or content like a blog or ebook proves that your business knows its industry. As a consumer, I would trust a company that’s knowledgeable about their industry more than a brand with no educational content. This proves that otherwise “boring” content can still be engaging in the way it’s shared. And, if followers want more information, you can always link back to your sources, boosting CTR for you. 3. Share user-generated content on Twitter. Apparently, Taco Bell has a blog. It’s right there, under the Delivery button (where my Taco Bell search usually ends). This post, from the official Taco Bell blog, (Taco Blog?) is a round-up celebrating user-generated content.

@tacobell my brother just sent this to me! It’s…..it’s beautiful pic.twitter.com/Zx4nQl32Ai — Jason (@_Js0n) June 25, 2019

UGC not only fills timelines with content, but shows followers they’re being listened to, and that brands are interested in what their customers have to say. A round-up blog goes beyond a simple retweet, like, or reply, and gives other customers an incentive to submit their own content. 4. Engage with audiences on Twitter. Instagram isn’t the only platform with polls, so if you don’t have an account or it doesn’t fit into your content strategy, you can use another platform, like Linkedin or Twitter. Here, LinkedIn is using the time of year to engage with their audience:

New year, new you! What’s your New Year’s work resolution? — LinkedIn (@LinkedIn) December 30, 2019

Not only that, but check out the account’s reply under the tweet. It responds to the winning answer of a poll with a blog that reflects that answer. This shows that LinkedIn planned their poll with the foresight to link to a post that led to more information. This is a sneaky version of asking followers what they want to see. By framing the question this way, followers can see the dedication your brand has to engage with their opinions. LinkedIn positioned themselves to swoop in and save the day with this poll. 5. Create and share website content on Facebook. Facebook is for more than silent videos and long-form posts. Although those are the site’s bread and butter, you can do so much more with Facebook to engage with different audiences than those you would find on, say, Instagram or Reddit. Take this post about crazy internet tools that actually work, from BuzzFeed:

It’s an approach that’s working for BuzzFeed, considering 74% of its social traffic is from Facebook, with Twitter in second place with around 8%. Thinking outside what content is most popular on Facebook might be a win for you, too. Blog content is also a smart idea to post long-form content you already own, leading to a boost in lead generation. 6. On LinkedIn, post articles/stats about your industry. Stuck about how to post LinkedIn content? Or what LinkedIn audiences want to see? Think about what makes your company reputable. While other social platforms can show off brand personality, you can leverage LinkedIn as the tool for meaning business. Statistics are fabulous content pieces, as well as a definition guide of marketing terms that might be a little less known than say, SEO. Check out this post from HubSpot, which gives a quick, but useful vocabulary lesson on social commerce:

By putting a CTA at the end, the post invites followers to think. Not only will your brand be in their mind as a connection to this term, but it also incentivizes those early on in their buyer’s journey to check out the website for more terms or stats that might be helpful to them. 7. Highlight milestones of your coworkers on LinkedIn. Here’s a cool way to use LinkedIn to build your brand: highlight employees or colleagues.

Drift dedicated a post to their colleague after that colleague was chosen for a professional award. This is wonderful content for LinkedIn, because the platform is centered around professional growth. Whether colleagues get promoted, just celebrated a birthday, or spoke at an event, this shows others, like competition or job seekers, that you care about employee achievements. 8. Create graphics for Instagram and Facebook. I love this content idea for Facebook because it goes beyond the “typical” content brands might choose for the site. For instance, Canva is a visual company, so posting content on platforms like visual-heavy Instagram is fairly typical, but Facebook can be used for stunning visuals, as well:

Additionally, Canva syncs their social accounts so content stays the same:

There’s a lot of second guessing about syncing social content and diversifying it, but it all depends on what works for your business. Some businesses thrive with synced content across all platforms, some don’t, and some only sync a couple. Syncing content saves time as a marketing team of one, so starting out that way is a good idea. Plus, graphics can be engaging across all platforms since they’re easier for followers to digest than text-heavy content.. 9. Show the faces behind the company on Snapchat or Instagram. Instagram, Snapchat, and even TikTok are social platforms with an emphasis on video content. Your brand can use these social platforms in creative ways that stays relevant to your company or industry. One of those ways is by showing the personality of your brand, like Buffer did, here:

Buffer gives quick tips from a human, rather than words on a screen, which provides consumers with a stronger sense of connection to the brand. It also shows consumers that your brand knows how to be social media literate, boosting reputation. Especially if social media is a huge part of your product, finding interesting ways to use its tools appeals to leads. Above all else, customers feel connected to personality more than a stat on a white background. However, you don’t need a big budget to create content that resonates with your audience. “A Day in the Life” of an employee, something compelling for Instagram Stories, or a Snapchat geo-filter for your next event are all opportunities to demonstrate your brand’s appeal. 10. Use the time of year to your advantage. Look at the calendar. Are there any holidays coming up — even funny holidays, like National Burger Day? Think about how you can use that to your advantage, like how Southwest Airlines used seasonality for this tweet:

Sand or snow? — Southwest Airlines (@SouthwestAir) January 12, 2020

If you’re thinking about local marketing, this is a great content idea for you. Using the seasons shows that you care about the lifestyles of customers, a key demographic in identifying your target audience. You can use the calendar more than you think — for instance, National Dog Day can be a celebration of your colleagues’ favorite furry friends on Instagram Stories. Building brand awareness starts with what you have and how you use it! Creating fun content for consumers doesn’t have to be a dreaded task that happens every couple of weeks. With proper planning and understanding of target audiences, it can be a cool way to interact with those you wouldn’t otherwise. Keep these ideas in mind as you’re thinking about how to execute strategy for your next campaign.he level of engagement you’ll see might surprise you.

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[cosmictulips]

A reading for Cardinal Signs

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So this is for anyone with prominent Aries, Libra, Capricorn & Cancer energies. top 6 placements, vedic placements, dominant in those energies, etc.

9 of pentacles, the hierophant, the Emperor, 10 of Pentacles, 7 of Wands, 3 of Pentacles.

My Cardinal Energies!

so, for you guys, I'm seeing that a lot of you have been working on those material and financial gains. and it's going to come to you guys. for those of you trying to get a new job, or at least on your feet again, I am seeing that your friends or coworkers may be coming in to help you. there's definitely some strong energy of taking control.

this feels like a very strong money oriented reading. there' s a lot of balance, checks being sent out and coming in. like, if you're trying to get that holiday bonus, you're going to get it. if you're trying to save up to see family, you're going to get it. you have been putting a lot of effort into something and you're going to see some VERY positive results.

for those of you who are wondering about love but are single (in particular, single. you can be in a relationship). I'm seeing a lot of independence right now. you could be meeting a taurus or an aries or leo soon. they could be coming to you from work or a friend.

but in general this feels very laid back. if you have your eye on someone something cute might happen. like conversing or just spending time together. honestly though, at the end of the day, your goals are coming to fruition. so keep going. yall are doing so good right now. money problems? won't know her in a couple weeks.

[cosmictulips]

Sagittarius Intuitive Reading ♐

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This is for anyone who has Sagittarius in their top 6, is a sagittarius in Vedic or tropical astrology, is dominant in this energy or have a lot of Jupiter energy as well. or anyone who resonates with this message =)

5 of swords, the Devil, 3 of pentacles, Ace of Swords, 8 of pentacles, 10 of pentacles

Okay, so My lovely Sagittarius. what I'm seeing here is that you may be dealing with some insecurities, anxieties....maybe you're having a hard time connecting to someone or with yourself.

I do see this clearing up for you. but I think the biggest thing you can do for yourself right now is to learn to balance what you need and ask for help. for some of you it's going to be giving yourself some rest and taking a break from the situation.

For others of you, it's simply to see what is causing you to keep going through these cycles. right, that Devil energy is all about addictions and extremes. so you could be staying up too late. sleeping too much. just not listening to what your body needs or what someone else is telling you. I see clarity coming to you. I see help from friends, family, coworkers. most importantly, I see you gaining stability again. you are going to pull through from this so just keep hanging on.