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rpbetter · 4 years ago

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Sorry if this isn't the place to ask but I'm in need of advice. I have a canon character I truly adore, but I haven't gotten muse or any opportunity to write them at all. My blog is collecting dust and the fandom is kinda dead at this point. Not to mention, it's hard to find compatible writing partners, especially with how picky I can be. I'm honestly considering deactivating the blog (for the nth time), but I don't want to lose the writing I have. I know I could archive, but I hate having blogs just sitting around.

In short, I really want to write the muse/keep the blog but I'm not getting any incentive to do that.

Hello, Anon, it’s totally the place to ask!

I will say, though, that since finding and keeping muse can be flavored rather personally, I can’t promise that what works for me is going to work for you. I’ll even confess that in over two decades, I’ve never personally lost muse. I don’t know if it is due to underlying, neurodiverse style, fixating, or if it is due to keeping myself continually invested in both my muse and writing regardless of what else is going on. (Probably a combination of both, though, and the things I do to keep myself highly in touch with my muse I’ll be recommending.) I’m definitely happy to try to help, however.

That really is a very frustrating spot to be in, wanting to write the muse and keep your blog active, but logging in every day to be reminded of what little reason you have to do so. Since we’re drawn to the characters we are for reasons of personal appeal and writing in itself is a pretty personal form of art, it can also feel depressing on top of the frustration.

However, that’s also the good news, in my opinion, because your incentive here is, or can be, yourself.

You were drawn to this character because you connected with them. They mean something to you, you can relate to them, maybe they have qualities (good or bad) that you wish you could experience. Whatever it is, there’s a reason why you had this draw. Writing is like that as well, there’s a reason why this is a hobby that drew you, that you get enjoyment out of. Again, though all art (it doesn’t matter if it is a hobby) has personal bits of the artist in it, writing is uniquely personal. When you write, you’re exploring thoughts and feelings, giving them life in a character that matters to you. I know, all of that sounds really convoluted and hokey, but it’s true.

And it’s good! That means you always have a reason to write and that you have the tools necessary to find and keep muse without any outside push necessary.

I’d say, firstly, work on getting muse back.

Get back in touch with your muse the next time you feel a particularly strong urge to write. Instead of spending time trying to find people in a silent fandom or forcing yourself to write something you don’t want to, just do some exercises that will help you get back into your muse.

I don’t know what media type your character comes from, but especially if it is something like movie or show that you can have on in the background of what you’re doing, do that. If it’s a comic or a book, think about your favorite scene and read it over first. If you’ve ever made some playlists for writing/your muse, you can always do that instead or as well. The point is to do something passively inspiring while you actively create. Now, that creating...

You want to do something that requires you to think about your muse so you can get in touch with them, not something that is going to make you feel overwhelmed and shut down. So, maybe don’t pick writing prompts for this - you can work up to that. Try out headcanon and character development memes and other question lists instead for right now. Things you can scroll down a list of, find questions that jump out as interesting (or even simply answerable to you at this point, you’re jump-starting a dead battery, it’s alright) and answer them. You can also do something as simple as write down what you like best about the character or their story, or put down the basics of filling in missing information that has always bugged you.

The beauty of this is that it is all on your own terms, your only objective here is to answer what you want, as much as you want. You can stop any time, but you can also answer a single question for three hours, making it eight pages long if the inspiration strikes you. It’s only about recharging your inspiration and establishing a connection with your character again. (This is also going to help you with getting back into writing, or approaching it for the first time, with a more internalized focus of interest.)

When you feel like you’ve done that, you can branch out on these exercises more. Answer the memes more in-depth, answer more of them/the ones you don’t have immediate answers for. You can also try writing out scenes from the character’s canon from their perspective, if it wasn’t already so, adding in their thoughts and feelings, or changing the scene in some ways that would be interesting to write out. This is the point where it’s a good idea to try a writing prompt or two, as well! Take the prompt as a sort of starter sentence from a mutual, you’ve got the situation, fill in with your muse.

Write when you feel like writing. The RPC is great at saying this when it comes to muns not wanting to write, but kind of ignores the other side of the equation. The side where you want to write, have the inspiration and muse to do so, but it might not be the best time. As in, you’re not home/wherever you usually write, with whatever device you tend to write on accessible. No, you’re not going to be able to get as much done, but you can write without the usual situation and device regardless. You can write a scene or ideas down using your phone or tablet, or go old school and use a notebook. If you’re at work and your job isn’t applicable to being able to get down a single sentence, that still doesn’t mean you have to wait 8+ hours to get home; while you’re taking your break, write a little bit. It is a break, and writing is your hobby, it isn’t work. It’s good to do things you enjoy on breaks, and far more fulfilling to have also accomplished something you happen to enjoy.

Not writing when you have the drive to do, putting it off and holding it in until “the perfect moment,” is a great way to lose your inspiration and never actually have that moment. If you feel like doing it, that means it is the perfect moment. Life is restricting, don’t impose even more restrictions on yourself by having to be at home, in a specific spot, with a specific device, at a specific time, on a specific day. Was that annoying repetition? You’re right, it was. And that’s how your creative mind processes all the crap piled onto it that doesn’t allow for creativity.

Now, the other problem, the fandom situation.

There isn’t anything you can do about that, to be absolutely honest. I’m not going to blow smoke and tell you to be positive, wait it out, maybe the fandom will spring to life again. You know, maybe it will...but you could be waiting literal decades for that to happen. Not cool. Please, take my word for that, it’s personal experience that it blows even more than you imagine it will.

What you can do is take the matter into your own hands in other ways; putting yourself out there with more availability in multiple ways.

Are you a single-fandom blog, or are you crossover friendly? If you’re not crossover friendly, try to think of a single, relatively popular fandom that you enjoy. Don’t look at it like a hassle, but rather, just another creative exercise. A serious pitfall of creating alternate universe versions of muses is to take the simplest route, merely picking something you want from that other universe and applying it to your muse with no relevant changes that would naturally occur from it. It isn’t just reductive as hell, it’s not remotely creative, it’s like sticking a sticker on your muse’s forehead and saying that’s a whole different muse. It’s neither attractive to potential partners nor going to sustain your own interest for long. You want this to be a passionate investment on your own end, for yourself.

What not to do:

Let’s say the fandom you picked to do crossovers with is based around magic, the main characters are witches, and they are divided into factions based on how their magical talents display and develop. Not only do you decide to make your muse a witch, you pick the most badass faction. It’s the one full of assassins and action and (metaphorically or literally) sex appeal. Well, that’s also going to be the most popular faction in the fandom. That means there will not only be plenty of big name canons there but also that there’s going to be a plethora of OCs designed just for this universe...and other crossovers from other currently active fandoms.

While that might sound like it’s great for maximizing interaction chances, it’s really not when you’re just starting somewhere new with a character from another fandom that might not be known or liked. It can also take a minute in another fandom’s RPC to identify where the good partners are. Every now and then, it is the most popular and over-populous era/faction/etc., but most of the time, it isn’t. People who write with considerable dedication and talent fairly rarely are in the popular kids club even in their fandom choices. By inserting yourself into that area, you might be bypassing (and being bypassed) by better partners on the assumption that their characters are simply going to bore you to death since they’re not within the scope of your focal point.

It’s not a situation of not being allowed to be picky, you not only have that right regardless of your situation, you also should be. This is not a “beggars can’t be choosers” situation, you’re not beholden to anyone on the basis of being new and bored. However, some of my best, and longest lasting, writing partners over all 23 years I’ve been RPing didn’t/don’t fit with all the exact surface details that automatically draw my interest. It is as true within my own fandom as it is in dealing with crossovers. Opposites (with enough similarities) really do attract and work out well together!

Don’t judge and write people off for anything that isn’t an issue of compatibility with your muse, your writing, or yourself. Decline someone because they do one line only and you are novella, they write topics that are upsetting to you, you can see no way your muse and theirs can interact without instant murder, or because you cannot stand writing with someone who is pulling 90% aesthetics and purple prose. Not because their muse is a witch who uses life-based magic, loves nature, is a healer, and into their health...while your muse in this AU is all about the death, only appreciates an urban environment and is grossed out by animals, kills as an occupation, lives on cheeseburgers and caffeine. You see what I’m saying? Don’t limit yourself unnecessarily!

What to do:

Did you consider if, in that hypothetical idea of a fandom, your muse based on their purely canon self would even fit into that faction? Or is it just something you wanted to see? If you didn’t consider this, or it was the latter, fix that. That’s bad.

If you’re not absolutely dead set on that and only that, think about what really does fit the muse better. Maybe, they would be better as a healer, someone who messes with the very fabric of reality, or someone who manipulates natural elements at will. Then again, they might not even be a witch. They could be more mundane in terms of power, but more accurate and interesting as a normal, human (or whatever). They could even be greatly opposed to the use of magic and witches. Use your muse’s original canon as a base to decide these things.

If you are absolutely dead set on it, though, you have a lot of work to do making the character into what amounts to a markedly different one while still retaining some recognizable aspects of themselves. Consider what events, in this new universe of fandom, might have happened to alter the character thus. Keep in mind that even small changes can have great consequences in a character’s development, and you might need to think about the myriad ways in which that can display, how it changes still more things for this character.

While that job becomes so much more intense when you haven’t planned out a path that matches your muse’s canon characterization at all, it is still an important part of constructing an AU, of any kind, in general. Ask yourself what experiences led to the character you know as you already know them (including your own headcanons, yes). Then, find similar possible experiences within your new fandom verse that can have the same effect. Again, though, it’s important to understand that you are never going to have an identical set of experiences, so you need to explore relevant changes still.

When you do this, you’re allowing your muse to more seamlessly fit into this other universe in a fleshed out, interesting way. Interesting both new partners and yourself.

Okay, next obnoxious question from me! Do you have multiple verses, or are you single-verse?

Whether you are already exploring new fandoms or not, by creating a variety of verses for others to interact with, you’re increasing your chances for interest and activity. When you have a verse from a different fandom you can then, additionally, advertise your presence in both that fandom’s tags when you do a promo or applicable open starter and on active RPer lists for that fandom.

Every popular fandom has such lists. You can get on them by messaging/sending an ask to the blog or by reblogging their post to be added, following the directions. I haven’t seen one yet that doesn’t allow for crossovers. You simply have to tag it as stated in the post, such as “your canon’s name here - original fandom name - crossover.” By tagging your open starter or promo as “-insert fandom here- rp” and “-fandom here- open starter” you allow people in that fandom to find you to interact. Either way is excellent for getting started in totally new places with a character others might be unfamiliar with.

Please remember that if you tag a promo as “promo,” it’ll not show up in searches off of your blog. You know, where it actually needs to be searched. Thanks, tumblr, for being janky! Being more specific as to the fandom and character will help others actually find you. Don’t shoot yourself in the foot by tagging it as “promo.”

Make your verses accessible on your blog itself, in the nature of those verses, and how you set up your page or post that lists them.

Don’t put any page behind an impossible or complicated aesthetic. You really shouldn’t anyway, but when you’re needing interactions, it’s actively hurting your chances. Many people don’t want to have to play a game with your theme, it’s a turn off. Try a pinned post that lists all of your links to important pages like rules, verses, and bio instead. It means that, even from the dash, that information can quickly be found while other muns are first interested, and also that anyone who might be using the app can access it more expediently. (I’m genuinely not a fan or big supporter of doing google docs for rules, verses, bios, etc., as it forces people off site, so I can’t personally say, in good conscious and honesty, that I’d recommend it, but you do you!) You want to keep things quickly accessible is the idea here; when people are interested, you want to catch them right then and there before they have a chance to forget and lose your blog.

As to the nature of the verses themselves, give people real options. Don’t have 20 verses that all read same way. Same themes, plot possibilities, and backstories, or incredibly similar names. Have a diverse list of verses that can act as foundations for a variety of different muns. As many fandoms as you can reasonably have a good portrayal of, and different types of fandoms; not all the same genre (all fantasy, all horror, all scifi). Verses where your muse has substantially different goals, occupations, and other life situations that will involve another muse; don’t make your muse A Warrior™ in every verse, you can keep plenty of those aspects without being that literal. People love “modern” verses set in our own universe and, usually, in our own era. That doesn’t mean you have to go stereotypical or otherwise bore yourself by doing the standard “high school/college verse,” for instance. You don’t even have to designate that sort of thing, let alone make it the focus; simply create the verse by considering what your character really would be like if they existed within your reality.

As a final note on verses as pertains to this point, when you’re doing crossover verses, it’s alright to do some verses where your muse from their own canon existence somehow ends up teleported or whatever to another fandom’s reality, or even our own. Just don’t make every verse like this, it puts the onus of a great deal of creativity and effort onto the other mun by default; your muse has cluelessly dropped into the universe, and while it is high drama time for you, the other mun has to babysit, educate, deal with fallout, etc.

On making the list of your verses accessible, you want to focus on ease of browsing and not being overwhelming. People tend to look through a verse page and not read every verse listed, rather, they look at the titles and breakdowns to see if it is of interest, then read it. Don’t try to make everyone read them all, it isn’t going to happen, and shouldn’t change your effort any as the right people are going to find the verses that interest them...if you make it clear and easy enough.

Have a basic format you stick to, firstly. I do it this way: small verse banner, title of verse (linked to its overall tag so that muns can look through the tag at headcanons, aesthetics, pictures of the FC, and threads), muse age/age range, small blurb, possible triggers found uniquely or just heavily within this verse. In that order, one following the other in a simple, but pleasing way. Below that, is a more in depth breakdown of the “verse canon.” Sometimes, that is giving a brief rehashing of canon itself and anywhere my muse differs, be it in this verse only or overall, ending with where my muse is in this verse. Not literally where. I mean their present occupation, emotional and general state in life. At the very end, I provide any other relevant links and/or an expansion on the triggers mentioned at the top of the verse description if they’re that serious/recurrent so that muns can decide this isn’t the verse for them. I happen to have a potentially triggering muse, triggering verses, and writing triggering topics, though. That’s not something everyone needs to do.

Secondly, group your verses in a sensible way. I do my short list of default verses first. (And, I do mean short, you don’t want this be any more than four or five, it is overwhelming right out of the gate.) For me, that is two default verses of canon at different points on the timeline, one default AU that is a bit of a reversal of canon, and one default “modern” verse. Then, I list the verses that are in line with the altered canon one, just different possibilities, changes, points in history. After that, the different “modern” verse options. Then, verses for other fandoms, the crossover verses. And so on. This way, a potential partner can find the type of verse that might appeal to them and have an easier time picking from those possibilities and getting ideas.

Lastly, don’t be so succinct that you give too little information and underwhelm, but also don’t be so excessive that it takes all of the mystery of interaction away and overwhelms someone. It can be a difficult balance to strike, and some verses require more information than others, just experiment a bit. Additionally, it’s fine to link to pertinent information for the other mun to view aside from this, but don’t just link people to a fandom wiki as your “description/bio.” That isn’t giving information on how you write this muse, approach this fandom, or what another mun can otherwise expect. Keeping your descriptions interesting is important, you’re not giving a boring lecture, you’re trying to inform someone while making them hyped for their choices. It’s more interesting, and informative, to read if you do them with an ear to the “tone” of your muse in that verse. Is it a sad one? Sound that way. These can, indeed, function as snippets of your writing, so be sure you are writing them with the same care you should be giving your replies; spellcheck, good word flow and use, mind the grammar, and read over what you’ve written for common, easy mistakes.

Again, by giving a genuine variety of verses to choose from, you’re allowing for a greater reach in potential partners. Everyone from those still in your original fandom to those in new ones, all the way to fandomless muses will be able to interact with you this way.

Finally, in regards to what you can change or do when you’re in a dead fandom and seeking interactions; make sure you are increasing your reach by using proper tags, being honest about what and how you write, and don’t wait for others to stumble across you.

When you use tags properly, you’re increasing your chances of being seen at all. Every time you post something at all applicable on your blog, tag it with relevant things. Tag as described above with whatever fandom it is and “RP,” your character’s name, “open RP,” character name and RP, indie RP, open starter, and so on. Be sure you are optimizing your tags by placing the most relevant to finding you in the first four, those are what show up in site-wide searches only. Anything after that isn’t going to appear in a search across all tumblr.

By tagging your character’s name, as a canon, you should know that you are likely to get personal blog interaction. I’m pretty against being nasty to personal blogs for no reason, as I don’t appreciate personal and fandom blogs being shitty to me for the sole reason that I am an RPer. Please, use clear, short, attention getting directions for them. If you want no interactions with them, put right in the description of your blog “RP blog, does not interact with personal blogs.” When you say things like, “personals dni,” or “personals blocked,” you’re not doing anyone any favors. Personal blogs often don’t even know what the hell a personal blog even is! They do not denote themselves this way, to a personal blog, they’re just a blog. By designating first that you are an RP blog, you’re making it clearer that they’re the personal; they’re obviously not an RP blog, so that must make them a personal. Follow this up in a pinned post, right on top. Give a note to personal blogs that describes them as “any blog that isn’t an RP blog” first, then either tell them in brief what they can and can’t do or that you don’t interact and will block.

I don’t recommend taking your blog off of being findable, however. That’s alright once you have the RP activity you are looking for, but until then, it’s working against you. Other RP blogs cannot easily find you either, they will only find you if you’re on a list or appear in their recommended blogs, if you interact with a mutual, or are recommended by a mutual. You’re not just lessening your chances of personal blogs finding you, so if you have that turned off, turn it back on.

Don’t entirely rely on others finding you regardless, though. You can’t be 100% passive when you have no interactions, and by relying solely on serendipity you’re far less likely to get them. I know that everyone here is terminally shy, but seriously, you have to do more than put your silent will into the universe that someone perfect find you. You have to make this happen. Once you get a few people, you can afford to be more passive. Not only do you have some people to write with, you will be more visible to their mutuals, and more established as a presence. I’m not saying this is easy, or that it will become easy, not awkward or stressful, if you have a legitimate issue behind the shyness. Just that it is the only way to really proceed, and I believe you can do it!

So, go looking for interesting blogs. Be crossover and OC friendly (again, this doesn’t mean “accept everyone,” there are valid reasons for not accepting people you won’t work out with that have nothing to do with their fandom or being an OC), and search those fandom’s RPCs, following any blogs you think you might work out with upon reading their rules and other pages. Search for fandomless OCs and do the same thing. Fandomless OCs aren’t just floating around in the ether, they just weren’t created expressly for a particular fandom and within its confines. What is excellent about that is their ability to have a wide variety of verses and many possibilities to fit into any fandom or verse. So, don’t count them out solely on the basis of being an OC and fandomless. It doesn’t mean what people seem to think it does!

Do not stop at having followed 50 blogs. I mean, other than that you probably should stop following people for a bit. That you should do, as you need to be building writing relationships here, not following so many people that you cannot get to them. Don’t just stop at the follow, though. Since you’ve read their rules and information like a good RP partner, you should have some idea of what their interests are and where they align with yours, as well as how they prefer to be approached, if they accept memes right away to start, need plotting, have a rules password. When they’ve followed you back, proceed with interaction!

Ask if they’d like to plot when they have time, you’re really looking forward to writing with them. But...have some idea of a plot, please. It is a serious turn off to have someone message you wanting to plot, only to reply and get “lol I don’t have any ideas, anything works for me/whatever you want to do.” That isn’t plotting, it’s one party coming up with ideas and constructing a plot while they’re being told “I’m fine with anything.” That may be true, but it’s disheartening and a red flag for many people. If you genuinely can’t come up with anything, pick verses that match up well and suggest doing something within them.

“When you have the time, would you be interested in discussing writing? I was looking at your verses, and I think your verse -name- and mine, -verse name-, would mesh well.” Is a good way to start. Once you have a discussion flowing about the verses meshing and the muses, it’s typically easy to organically develop some plot ideas to go off of.

If both you and the other mun are alright with plot-free interaction and memes, you can send a meme any time. If you can’t find any memes on their blog, look for a wishlist or navigation page that shows you the tags for memes/wishlist. Still can’t find it? Ask them if they’ve got a wishlist or meme tag you can look through.

Additionally, if open starters are a thing you both do and are alright with, find some of theirs and respond. Post your own, tag it appropriately to be found in general and on your blog, and reblog it once or twice. Don’t excessively reblog it, and don’t get upset on the dash if no one interacts with it or any memes you reblog. Both are demanding to outright guilting, and not a good way to get partners. Just provide them with the ability to easily interact by making the posts available in the first place and by making them findable on your blog search and navigation.

Provide something for potential partners to see. Since you said you already do have writing, that’s great! That’s content on your blog that your partners can view. However, since you’re also having the issues you’ve stated, it’s likely that you haven’t many new posts. Show that you are active, interested in being here, and how you write your muse (and in general) by posting some newer content. For original content, do a headcanon or some meta, or post about new verses you are adding, the changes on your blog, a promo. For reblogs, things pertaining to your muse like canon imagery, fanart, quotes from canon or that generally express your muse, and aesthetics relevant to your muse are all excellent things to queue.

Use that queue. Not only do very few people appreciate having dash spam of similar content for the comparatively short time you might be around, but also, running these things on a queue means you spread that out for maximum view. While there are hours of heavier activity, you’ll have mutuals who are on at unusual hours due to their life and preferences or their timezone. This way, you’re not appearing inactive, if not outright invisible, to those mutuals. It’s not a bad idea to use a queue tag so that people know if they interact with a post that’s been queued, you might be here to quickly respond.

Ultimately, to fix your fandom and lacking partners problem, you just need to up your availability and reach beyond that fandom alone. Be proactive in following and approaching, decline blogs based on not working out only, utilize tags and fandom RPer lists, have everything on your blog easy to follow and not overwhelming, and have your verses meet as wide of a range of people as possible while also not being overwhelming.

Try updating your promo, as well, by the way. They’re not dead, they just really tanked when people kept making them based solely on aesthetic principle instead of being at all informative about the muse. They do seem to be coming back, so it’s a thing to consider.

Yes, make it visually appealing, it will draw people to reading it. No, do not just use a song lyric or quote with words highlighted linking your rules, verses, bio. Tell people basic info like the age of your muse and yourself, if you are multiverse and multiship, your muse’s canon verse and a couple of big interest verses of other major fandoms or themes that tend to be of interest to people, and what kind of RP you write - one line/para/multipara/novella. Absolutely give links to rules, verses, bio, and either memes, wishlist, or open starters, but give them just like that; make it very clear what this link is to. Put a very short statement of interest on there denoting that you’re expanding to new fandoms and looking for writing partners.

Do not sound desperate, demanding, or devaluing of yourself. Don’t say shit like “because my fandom is dead,” “trying this before I give up and delete my blog,” or “I suck at interaction/writing/ooc interaction/being a person but welp giving it a try, so follow and hit that heart.” (Conversely, calling yourself derogatory things and implying that your partners are too, such as the “we’re all just losers here” shit.) All of the above are not attractive, and they’re not even surprising enough to stand out anymore. It’s another reason to scroll right by that promo because nothing at all was different or of interest.

And as a wrap-up/rehash of the first topic, getting muse back: try starting over at the beginning by approaching the media involving your muse that has really stuck with you emotionally over the years, and exploring and developing your muse again.

Don’t tell yourself you can only write, for example, at home, on the laptop, after 7pm, and with a pop toy staring at you. The best thing about writing, as opposed to so many other hobbies, is that you can do it anywhere! So, do that. Do it any time you both feel the inspiration to do so and aren’t going to get fired or expelled for it. This isn’t work, it’s something enjoyable that does take effort (like literally all creative activities and skills do), but approaching it as though you need to follow novel writing advice from someone who has never published anything of note and isn’t you on the internet, with strict rules for success makes it feel that way. So does being frustrated with a dead fandom, no interaction. It’s disheartening, feels as annoying and fruitless as work often does. You probably need to break out of that mindset, and you can only do it by beginning to allow yourself to be creative on your own terms, entirely for yourself.

Do write simple things at first that you are inspired to do (you can’t get a scene out of your head, or a bit of dialogue), and/or headcanon/character development memes and question lists. Build from there as you get back in touch with your muse, writing things primarily or entirely for yourself still. Expanding on headcanons, doing some meta, or maybe writing out a missing piece of canon or what you’d be interested in seeing happen in canon if some event was altered.

Doing this sort of thing, you are getting in touch with your muse again and back into the real spirit of writing creatively, simultaneously.

Whatever you find most inspiring, do it. If it’s watching the movie or show again, do that, have it on while you write or simply think on the character’s actions, thoughts, and emotions during those scenes. If it’s reading the material again, do that, and read snippets of personal importance before you write. Maybe it’s some past playlists you can have on while writing, or even while you’re cleaning, walking the dog, driving or riding somewhere. It could even be your own previous writing! Go ahead and re-read that, it sounds like you still appreciate it, and that’s truly promising. If you find that you’re horrified by some of the things you’ve written in the more distant past, hey...that’s not just valid as hell, it’s natural. You know what else it is? An inspiration. You can clearly see that you could do better, that means you now know how to do better and are ready to do so. Validate yourself, prove it to yourself by rewriting or fixing something.

Don’t delete the blog or archive it. It is unpleasant to have a dead blog around, but don’t keep it dead. Use the same blog and simply transition it into wider things that will net you more partners and the interactions you deserve.

Look, even if you weren’t the most popular blog in your fandom before it went quiet, you really appreciated the blog, muse, and writing you were doing. You’ve defined that it wasn’t something you did to cause this situation, you just had the shit luck we all run into eventually of being in a fandom that ran out of material or interest. People are really fickle, so by taking a wider approach and fixing on the writing and muse instead of fandom now, you’re stopping this from repeating. Seriously, on a long enough timeline, every fandom dies or goes into hibernation. If you make a whole new blog with a different muse, it is going to happen again eventually.

So, don’t feel like you’re ridiculously clinging to the past and need to move on, you’re just sticking to something and can continue to stick to it through the next five fandom deaths. Just because it is the most popular thing to do to drop muses, constantly add new ones, and have this attitude that you can “blog refresh” your way out of recurrent, and inherent, problem doesn’t mean it is actually the right thing to do. It’s not even the most sensible, and certainly not the best thing to do with anything you’ve spent time and effort on.

That’s your incentive; yourself, the time and care you’ve put in, and your continued interest in writing and the muse. You’ll find good people, and bluntly, everyone else can fuck right off when you’re incentivized by yourself. It becomes a self-fulfilling activity at that point, I swear, and it feels really nice.

Just get back in touch with your muse and writing itself so that you can begin to expand and start interacting again!

#rp advice #rp problems #rp help #muse loss #dead fandoms #rp better #Anon E. Mous #answered

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danipixel · 4 years ago

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Wherever the Force May Go pt2

Tags: @maulieber @botherbother-blog @mother-0f-monsters @zabrak-show @alicedoestheinternet @laoness

Summary: Daia found a new opportunity on Mandalore. Did she make a mistake in coming? She hasn’t decided yet. Her new employer may decide for her.

Part 1

It was late afternoon when Daia finished unloading the last of her things from the Fever Dream into the room she had been granted by the new lord of Mandalore. The guest room was enormous with large windows that gave a beautiful view of the city below. The sun was just starting to dip below the horizon beyond the bio-dome’s edges. She’d have to thank her new employer for the accommodations.

Still in a bit of shock from the events of the morning, she continued her small tour of her quarters. The bed was by no means small and covered with lush blankets and pillows. The sitting area sported a large table with intricately carved lilies on the legs and edges as well as equally lavish cream chairs. The walls were covered in beautiful paintings depicting the history of Mandalore. Satine's taste in decor was still all over the room. Taking a seat in the unfairly comfortable chair, Daia now had time to think about everything that just happened this morning. Her overconfidence and her mouth may have just gotten her into more trouble than she first realized. The new Mand’alor was clearly well versed in use of the Force, and the dark side at that. The dark side never frightened her before but she knew just how dangerous those that regularly surrender themselves to its power can be. Shit. This may have been a mistake. Daia didn’t get much time to think about her new position on the planet before she sensed Maul and the other Force wielder outside her door.

The door slid open and there stood Maul, an intense look of anger painted across his crimson face. He let out a low growl as he spoke, "I don’t appreciate being lied to." His eyes burned into hers as his presence filled the room. His partner stood just behind him sporting a similar look.

"I'm sorry but, what are you talking about?" Daia felt anger rolling off of the two in waves leaving sparks and crackles as it flowed around her. She couldn't help the sudden urge to run or maybe fight. Anything but just stand there.

The two men stepped fully into the room, which despite its size, now felt much too small. "What are you doing here, Jedi?" The sound of lightsabers igniting echoed through the room.

"Is this because I can use the Force? I’m not a Jedi." Not anymore. Continuing to back away, Daia's hands stayed low and near the edge of her jacket where her sabers were tucked away.

"Liar! The stink of the Order is all over you.” Maul spit the accusation at her as he leapt towards her, black blade aimed at her neck. In a flash she brought up her twin sabers to block the blow as she barely dodged out of the way. A flurry of blows and flashes of black light filled her vision. Each strike caught by her sabers with a loud hiss as she backpedaled further into the room. He was fast. Terrifyingly fast. Had the Force not guided her movements, she'd be dead. Adrenaline surged through her body feeding her fight or flight response. A dark tendril from the Force followed the reflex and reached out to her mind. Daia grabbed hold of it and roughly pulled it into herself, fuelling her body, sharpening her senses, and adding speed to her reflexes. Off to the side, she felt more than saw the red blade come down on her and quickly ducked out of the way and past the two men.

Holding her blades in a defensive position, she shouted at the two, "I didn’t lie to you!" The two men split and came at her from the sides simultaneously, striking hard at Daia. She almost buckled under the force of their combined attack. Her arms screamed in protest as she caught the attacks. Her violet blade clashed with black as her silver caught red before she twisted back out of the way. The black blade again came at her to hold her in place. She twisted again but this time flowed under Maul’s arm and brought her elbow into his ribs hard to allow her an opening to back away. He let out a hiss and kicked at her legs as she danced away.

Anger filled the room as Maul pointed with his blade and the larger man circled around her. Daia's blades remained up and directed at each warrior, ready to catch any attack that came for her. "I'll ask you one more time Jedi, why did they send you here?"

This time the attack came from behind but she was ready and used the Force to fling the heavy ornate table directly into the larger Zabrak, knocking him into the wall. "No one sent me. I’m not a fucking Jedi! I haven’t been one for 7 years!" Maul stayed where he was, black saber still pointed in her direction as a snarl painted his face.

The larger one rose from the wall and rushed her, blade swinging in a wide arc. She managed to deflect the blow but the force of the strike immediately caused her arms to burn once again. My arms are gonna break if he keeps this up. He finally growled in her face, "Dooku’s orders then."

"Count Dooku?" She spat back as she jumped backwards. "No. Fuck him! I want nothing to do with him!" The Force then seized her and threw her back into the opposite wall, knocking the air from her lungs. Not knowing which man had done that she immediately prepared for their next attack.

Maul held up his hand to stop the other from attacking. Was he planning on killing her himself? "If you’re not with the Jedi, or Dooku, then why come to Mandalore?" He lowered his blade but did not deactivate it. The other man did the same. The rage from the two slowly started to recede but the anger in the room still simmered from all three occupants.

Daia followed suit and lowered her sabers, leaving them humming at her sides. "It’s like I said. I used to smuggle for Death Watch and the Prime Minister. I came back because I saw a business opportunity."

"And you no longer receive orders from the Jedi?" Maul stared at her as if he was trying to read her thoughts. Her mental defenses instinctively strengthened to prevent any intrusion. He wasn't getting into her mind without a fight.

She let out a sigh, "I still have some friends in the Order but that's as far as the connection goes. I have no plans to go back."

The taller man moved closer to Maul and continued to growl at Daia. "More Jedi lies."

"Look, if you just wanted to kill me, why not do it this morning?" She snapped at both of them, anger rising back to the surface. This game of theirs was getting tiring. Either kill me or let me leave.

Maul finally deactivated his saber and stood with his hands clasped behind his back. His partner did the same. "I was curious and truthfully, a Jedi offering to smuggle for me was unexpected."

"Not a Jedi." She took the hint that the fight was over and put her sabers away, this time she left them on her belt instead of tucked in her jacket. The instinct to fight was slowly receding from her body. Now it was replaced with confusion and irritation. Was this whole thing a fucking test?!

"So you keep saying." Maul took a few steps closer but made no move to retrieve his weapon and finish the ex-Jedi.

Taking a few steps toward the man and crossing her arms, Daia asked, "So what do you want from me?"

Maul paced back and forth, prowling in front of her as he answered. "I'm always in need of people with talent. Besides your claim of being an accomplished smuggler, you managed to sneak your way past the entirety of Death Watch and into my throne room. You've just proven you can hold your own in combat, and you have connections to Coruscant that could prove useful one day."

"So, you still want me to work with you." This day just keeps getting more and more interesting.

From behind Maul, his counterpart still seemed to have opinions. "Are you sure about her, Brother? She could still be a Jedi spy or assassin." He continued to growl in her direction as he stared.

Are you kidding me? Did he really still think she was here to kill them? She was done being friendly today. "Are you here for a reason big guy, or are you just here to insult me and look intimidating?" Wait. Did he say Brother?

Maul held up his hand and answered before his brother could say another word. "Savage is my apprentice as well as my brother. Where I go, he goes."

"Well for your information, Savage, Jedi don't use spies and assassins. You have them confused with senators." Daia stepped closer to the much larger man and glared up at him. Her patience was wearing atom thin.

Maul placed himself between the two and stared down his brother. "If you two are quite finished." Savage backed down and stepped aside. Maul's attention focused back to Daia. "You will remain in the city until I can be sure of your loyalties."

Stay in the city? How is she supposed to do her job? "When do I start my work then?"

Maul stepped closer and into her personal space. She held firm and held his gaze as he spoke. "Tomorrow. You will join us for our morning briefings. If you plan on being our private smuggler, I expect you to learn how things are done here now. You’ll be retrieved in the morning." There it was. She was a pet for now. Better a pet than dead. She and Maul studied one another for a moment before he pulled away from her proximity. The lord of Mandalore turned to make his way to the door, Savage falling in behind him.

Before they could leave she couldn't help but say, "Whatever you say, handsome." For whatever reason, maybe adrenaline, she was feeling brave this evening. Brave or stupid. If he wanted to test her, it was only fair that she do the same.

Maul let out a growl and was back in her space in an instant, flaming golden eyes burning into hers. "I'll let you know now that attempts at flattery will not gain you any favor." There was no anger, no threat behind his words.

Still feeling brave she leaned forward into his space now and couldn't help but smile. "Stating facts is not flattery."

"Hmm, is that so?" Maul narrowed his eyes at Daia as he studied her face once more before turning again and leaving her alone in her now destroyed room.

There was carnage left all throughout the guest quarters. The table was salvageable but one of the chairs was shattered and there were scorch marks in the floor and on the walls. One of the paintings was completely cut in two. At least the bed was still in one piece. Once again left alone to her thoughts and the Force, she sat on the bed and let out long slow breaths trying to center herself. Slowly but surely the anger and fear from the last few minutes receded and with it, the touch of darkness she had grasped. Her whole body shivered as she let go of what she had tapped into. It was a powerful partner in a fight but left a terrible taste in her mouth and made her skin feel too tight if held onto for too long. How the other two could bear it, she had no idea.

She went about cleaning up the room so that she could maybe get some sleep. Did I really say that? I did. I called him handsome after he tried to decapitate me. Exhaustion had finally set in and Daia needed to rest and hopefully clear her mind. As she pulled off her boots and went about her night time rituals she made a mental note to run through many more training programs with P4R-E. If something like that fight happens again, she had to be better prepared. Her whole body ached from the force of the earlier attack. Maul was skilled. More skilled than most Jedi she'd known. And Savage's size gave him a terrifying amount of power behind his blows. She was convinced that he could have shattered her arms with ease had Maul not stopped him. They really were testing me.

She settled into bed, expecting an early morning the next day. Before sleep took her she whispered out to the Force, “Please no visions tonight.” She settled into a mostly dreamless sleep. The only dreams that came to her consisted of the same flaming eyes and crown she had seen in the Force before. This time a face filled in the space between the features. The same red and black face of the man that just made her life much more complicated.

#fanfic #darth maul #star wars tcw #oc #Daia Veeral #It's totally normal for your boss to try to kill you #right?

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wordstrings · 4 years ago

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Inbox dump

(brace yourselves, I’m including the timestamps because these have been sitting forever and you may literally forget ever having sent one of these because they’re from so long ago 😬)

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Anonymous said: March 11th 2014 *Clears throat* Non-canon verse, uni AU probably *strums guitar and takes a deep breath* DUEEEEE TO A COMPUTING errORRR, dean and gabe are stuck as roomatesssssssss, whilesamandcascanbestucktogethertoo that'snotaneccesitybutitwouldbegreaaaaaaaaattttttttt, and veeery soon it turns into something of a friendship BUT THEEEENNNN dean fights with saaAAAM and gabe is like "dude stop being so upset" aND FLUFF HAPPEeeeeeEEEEEEeens! *stands up and bows* tyvm for accepting debriel though like omg <3

I’ve been rewatching some of Supernatural seasons 5 and 6 this past weekend, and it reminded me how much I love and miss Gabriel. I still maintain that Debriel is a super-underrated ship. The manic-chaos potential is *muah*. (see: #Debriel)

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Anonymous said: August 7th 2018 psst... light back tickles while cuddling in bed are pure™ and wholesome™

Good shit good shit good shit

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Anonymous said: September 19th 2018 I love science and go to public seminars as often as I can. I walked in to the most recent one (which I had picked at random), and it was on the science of tickling. There were demonstrations. There were hand gestures and finger wiggling. There were in depth descriptions of the anatomy and physiology behind ticklish spots. It was legitimately your Amateur Production’s fic, and I was Kevin. Worst of all it was 2 hours long. I think I died during it and my soul was sucked into hell.

Uhhhhhh where can I get a copy of the slide deck?? Asking for a friend. (see: #series: Amateur Production)

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Anonymous said: September 23rd 2018 your art skills have me shook in the best possible way

aaaahh thank you! Fun fact: I went to art school and even took illustration as a concentration area but I’ve hardly drawn anything for like ten years. When I do draw, it’s usually because there are feelings that I don’t wanna do words about. (see: #strings does art)

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Halo!anon said: September 27th 2018 A small, sinful part of Castiel had the urge to gloat. It was somewhat dampened by the fact that Dean was still under the impression that being abducted is peak romance."I can't believe you went out of your way to set up our second date!" He'd squealed, as Castiel tightened his restraints. - little excerpt of a sequel to Date Nights with Demons i had planned for months but abandoned. halo!anon

Your demented version of Demon!Dean is so entertaining 😄 (see: Date Nights with Demons)

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Anonymous said: November 6th 2018 Aaaaah your Gabriel / Kali drabble was adorable, I can't help but love seeing our mighty archangel reduced to a mass of giggles, and you write Gabriel so so well <3. I love your writing your stories always brighten my day ^^

It’s so rare for him to let his guard down, isn’t it? But when he does, he has a grand old time of it. :) (see: this drabble)

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sarah-lou-who said: November 8th 2018 1/4 Boo! The ghost of my online presence in the community is peeking its head in because I need help. I don’t have a platform or following to sound an alarm, so I’m using my platonic tumblr wife’s platform and following for me, because that’s what platonic tumblr wives do. Right? Anyway, I’m very actively fixated on Attack on Titan atm. You know this very well. You also know my predicament. I seem to have exhausted the entire supply of tickly AoT content I’m interested in that exists currently. 2/4 So, if you’re willing to publish these for me, I’m crying out into the vast TFB lands hoping that there’s someone out there to answer the call. I am in desperate need of tickly AoT content. I don’t know if anyone around here writes for it much these days. I haven’t found anyone. And I know beggars can’t be choosers, but it can’t be helped; I really only care if Eren is involved. Even better would be Levi, but I haven’t found ANYTHING involving him, so I feel like asking for that is futile. 3/4 I digress. Even after all this time I can’t keep my asks less than 50 parts long. So my goal here is that someone, somewhere, will by chance come across these, and be able and willing to either write fic of the tickly variety for Eren and/or Levi from Attack on Titan, or direct me to someone who can, if they know a person who knows a person who knows a person. (Sidenote, hi anyone who still remembers me! It’s Sarah, the more ticklish half of Leerah. I’m doing good and I miss you!) 4/4 (I hope you’re all doing well!) Thank you for letting me take advantage of your devoted followers, Strings! Love yaaa!!!

Ah, my platonic tumblr wife Sarah returns! (Digitally, anyway. Reality-wise, we hang out all the time and it’s probably very rude of me to have not published this ask for so long!) I keep teasing her that she has a Type, and that is dark-haired sulky badass who’d probably make a wicked ‘ler – AoT Levi, SPN Cas, FMA Roy, etc. So anyway, if anyone knows of somewhere I can point her to find the content she’s (still) craving, lmk!

Anonymous said: October 23rd 2019 I’m sorry if this is invasive in any way, but how is Sarah doing? I’ve been absent from Tumblr for a couple years and I see that her blog is now deactivated. I was just wondering if she’s doing alright and if she’s still around here on a different blog maybe?

See above! She doesn’t have a TFB community blog anymore, but she’s doing well. We’re quarantine buddies and helping each other out a lot. Very kind of you to ask! <3

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Anonymous said: December 2nd 2018 Hi, sorry to bother you but do you know what happened to prodigal-anon’s blog? It seems to have been deleted. Sorry again if you’ve been asked this before

No worries, friend! Here’s an answer for you!

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Anonymous said: December 13th 2018 I LOVE THE LOOPY SERIES! I love it so much, is there any chance you’ll be doing a part four? I’d give anything to see Cas and Dean tickle each other, it would be so cute 😍

Despite all evidence to the contrary, I haven’t entirely stopped writing... and Loopy 4 is one of those unfinished pieces that has seen a few additions lately. :) I’ve learned not to make promises about when something might get finished and posted, but I genuinely do believe this may be one of the first things that shows up once I’m ‘back in the game.’ Stay tuned... (see: #series: Loopy)

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Anonymous said: January 1st 2019 No no no you can't just stop there! I need more fluffy destiel with tickles and kissing! Pretty please?

I believe this is in response to Wonder whose arms will hold you good and tight. Don’t you worry, anon – Dean and Cas are not done being fluffy on this blog!

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1832wasalongtimeago said: January 25th 2019 Hi I just wanted to pop in and say the Maintenance series is amazing!! The second part was doing things to my poor heart I’ve read it like 5 times already. You’re such an amazing writer and thank you fo writing for us!

I’m very flattered, but I can’t take credit for the Of Maintenance series – that’s the lovely work of ask-flip-frost! It does things to my poor heart, too, so you’re in good company. :)

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Anonymous said: January 26th 2019 Sam Winchester can take a lot of things. The one thing he CAN'T take? Someone using baby talk on him when he's being tickled. He collapses into a puddle of helpless giggles faster than a house of cards in a stiff wind.

Precious Sammy just needs to laugh and be held, doesn’t he? <3

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Anonymous said: May 17th 2019 Thor needs tickles. So. Damn. Much.

Oh this was from right after Endgame came out. Thor did make me feel some sads there. :( Poor bab.

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Anonymous said: July 25th 2019 hi! i’ve read your wonderful fics forever but i’ve never really sent anything like this before so i don’t really know what to say.. but i had a destiel tickly thought and really wanted to share it with somebody, so here goes i guess- dean is taking too long in the shower so cas decides to use his mojo from the other room to speed things along. and listens to dean’s echoey laughs through the door. that’s all. sorry if this is weird! okay bye have a good one

This is not weird and I may have delayed in telling you any of my feelings about it but I definitely have a doc somewhere that has some vague notes about how I’d like to write this because I like it!

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Anonymous said: August 6th 2019 Anhhgff your Good Omens tword fics are so cute snvfddf i never knew I needed that of my favorite husbands till now😳😍

I know, right?! They’re just dying to be dropped into every fluffy situation. (see: #Good Omens)

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Anonymous said: July 25th 2019 Poking my head in to say hello, hope you’re doing well still! I just got into Good Omens and I absolutely loved your fic! (I watched the show first because my book was taking too long in the mail lol) Also, the other week I somehow talked myself into making a tfb blog, after all these years of almost doing so before chickening out (this ask isn’t from it because I just hopped in here briefly in a private phone browser to say hi, it’s literally just august-anon though) ~August!Anon

August!anon, I’m always so happy to see you stop by! Tagging your (not-so-new anymore) blog so everyone can check you out: @august-anon

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hey-teenblog said: August 4th 2019 I love your fanfiction very much! They give me a lot of pleasant emotions. And most importantly, they, saturated with tenderness and love, gave me to accept myself as lee!! sorry for my english, i'm russian Love you 😘❤️

I will never tire of hearing things like this! Thank you for telling me. “Saturated with tenderness and love” is a such wonderful compliment about my writing – thank you very much! No need to apologize for language differences; I’m always impressed with anyone who manages to pick up English because it’s bonkers.

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Anonymous said: August 23rd 2019 Hi! Just found this blog and wondering some basic info. ** What fandoms do toy write for? ** Do you accept prompts? ** Do you write reader insert fics? Thank you lovley ❤️

Anonymous said: August 29th 2019 Do you write tickle fics for bnha?? Asking for a friend 👀👀

The only fandoms I have reliably been able to write for are Supernatural and Good Omens – but even Good Omens is a rookie player here. Supernatural is my main jam, and Destiel is my favorite flavor. I don’t do reader inserts, but I’m always “accepting” prompts. I just haven’t written many of them for quite a long time now, so you’re welcome to drop them as long as you’re okay with them collecting dust. (see: this selfsame post)

My About/FAQ page is very dusty right now, too, but there might be some useful tidbits in there for you.

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Anonymous said: November 12th 2019 okayokayokay. Have you watched Lucifer? It's on netflix, it's great, so much emotions and pining. (Also, y'know, reg. Luci stuff. He runs a club. Bad jokes. It's great.)

I haven’t, but it’s on my Netflix watchlist, so I’ll get there eventually! I saw a gifset once where he actually did the thing I see in winged fanfic all the time, where there was gunfire and he sheltered someone he cared about with his manifested wings. And honestly, that was the deciding factor for me.

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Anonymous said: November 16th 2019 Oh Man U listen to Critrole as well! Nice! Campaign 1 was awesome but also heartfelt and really gut-punching at points. Who is your fav so far, anyone you aren’t fond of? (& Out of interest do you have any tickle related thoughts on the main crew or upcoming Fics we can look out for? As you said it’s tumbleweeds out here for this fandom’s tickles and I’ll take anything really 😂!) Hope u enjoy!!!!!

It’s STILL tumbleweeds out here and it’s making me crazy! My heart belongs to Vax primarily, Percy secondarily. I don’t really have cohesive thoughts or headcanons about anything, unfortunately. I do have this one mental picture that keeps coming up that I keep wanting to see art of (who knows, maybe I’ll commission somebody someday?) – of ridiculous brute Grog just lifting Vax straight up in his arms and gettin’ wiggly with his fingers while all Vax can do is laugh and pry and kick while absolutely nobody helps him.

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Regarding #series: Accessor:

Anonymous said: August 31st 2015 I would like to see accessor!verse cas using feathers on Dean!!! and NIBBLES and RASPBERRIES and TEETH and TONGUE and WOWWWWWW

ME TOO, FRIEND. It’s been aaaaages since I published anything new for the Accessor AU, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been going back to my unfinished docs every once in a while to add a few lines here and there. ;)

Anonymous said: October 29th 2016 Prompt: Cas is put in charge of getting a treaty with a neighboring country that shares a lot of the same customs, including Accessories, with certain... twists (think Bracelets AU) and treats their personal slaves (like Accessories) like people (listening to opinions, giving proper care, etc.). The foreign diplomats keep bringing that up and talking to Dean. Cas isn't sure he can make it though the diplomatic proceedings. Also, he might be having improper thoughts about that custom and Dean...

I’m posting this here, but I’m definitely keeping this filed elsewhere because it’s FANTASTIC.

Halo!anon submitted: June 4th 2018 I can’t help but imagine how tickling must play a part in other aspects of society in the accessor ‘verse, besides the sessions between master and accessory. So here’s some imagines and headcanons, with a touch of worldbuilding. (Warnings, besides the usual for this AU: death mention, reference to past trauma.)

- Among the high class, during parties and other celebrations, it’s seen as a common courtesy to string up one’s personal accessory in the center of the room and let the guests entertain themselves with them. Lord Castiel never does this with Dean, much to his fellow nobles’ disappointment; the mere suggestion had Dean quaking as things he’d rather forget came back to bite him.

- Every so often, a petty criminal(the poor man’s accessory, if you will) is placed in stocks in a small town’s square and left at the mercy of the very people they used to menace. What happens next usually involves honey, some sheep, and plenty of begging. A guard stands by to warn people, “No hurting, only tickling. Everyone please wait your turn, they’re not going anywhere any time soon.”

- Certain monastic healers perform tickle therapy as a treatment for anxiety, stress, and other “diseases of the soul”, as they call them. Balthazar himself proposed the idea, because of course he did. The rich usually indulge in this kind of therapy secretly, due to its undignified nature. Some contemplate the possibility of training accessories to tickle in the future, but it’s still a big taboo.

- Every town has a folktale about a tickle monster. Curiously, many of them involve controlling plants and attacking through dreams. The southern communities still have a giggle remembering that one time six years ago when Michael offered to hunt down one such monster and came back with Crowley, a sleazy drunkard with a fetish and a dream, sitting in a cage and wearing a mask.

- The Masters sisters, Lillith, Meg and Ruby, have a long history with law enforcement. Their favorite pastime is snatching unlucky merchants off the roads and tickling them into coughing up everything they have. Everyone is sure they had a hand in Fergus"Crowley" Macleod’s untimely demise by ferocious attack hounds, but they’re very good at covering their tracks. They’ll help you cover up your tracks too, if you’re a friend- ask Bela Talbot.

I might make a second part if I get any more ideas. I hope you enjoyed this! -Halo!anon.

I am very fond of you indeed, Halo!anon. These are so creative!

hypahticklish submitted: July 24th 2018 Accessor!Ideas:

~ Gabriel leads a furious rant regarding Prince Lucifer/Sam to Castiel, relating back to perhaps dealings he has directly had with the Prince between their two unstable-yet-truced Kingdoms. Castiel relates with similar views shared by Gehenna’s councilor(s).

~ Dean and Sam BM where the audience learns more about their homevillage. Dean starts it after a rather morose remark from Sam and ends with Sammy smiling and stealing my heart.

~ Balthazar helps Sam in several ways: 1) Learns the Sam was originally a psuedo-Advocates apprentice, as well as herbalist nephew when Sam identifies the components to some salves/medicines he’s making (he had been explaining what he was doing in an attempt to spare himself being attacked like the first couple times) 2) Calls Sam out on being intelligent and making a recklessly stupid choice by selling himself to find Dean. 3) Removes Lucifers mark. And maybe perhaps: 4) Allows Sam to assist in his own healing/medicine making under his careful observation, feigned as needing two sets of hands to do correctly and his assistant was running an errand, to assess his skills. 5) Offer he work in the hospice under him, apprenticing, should Gabriel allow his intelligence not go to waste. It’s not what Sam really wants to do/learn, but it’s better than doing nothing.

~Dean officially thanks Castiel for saving Sam. I’m talking full feels, single man tear sorta thing. And Castiel says “there was never another option” and then its schmoopy sweet with the kisses and the tickles and the Cas saying he loves Dean back!!!!!!!! swoon.

~ Kali!Likes!Sam’s!Spirit! Give me a dinner scene with Gabriel, Kali and Sam where hes holding his own in a diplomatic conversation with them when he nearly crosses a line (maybe something classist? Making it clear that Cas and Gabe are the exception to his experiences) and she says “I like this ones fire. He reminds me of you, my love.” *grabby hands*

~ Prince Lucifer sends a message to Gabriel requesting (threatening) his Helpmate be returned to him for a handsome reward. Sam somehow sees letter and gets spooked because DRAMA. Gabriel responds to Lucifer with the Chief Advocate equivalent of “Fuck Off”

You, my friend. YOU. All these feelings about Sam? Top-notch, and I shall be borrowing them, yes I shall.

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Regarding #android!Cas:

hypahticklish said: January 23rd 2016 Android!Cas deciding today is the DAY. Dean has been teasing him lately that he likes these strange sensations that have him using all his back-up generated power to not accidentally break Dean's bones and challenging him with that cocky smirk and relaxed confidence. Android!Cas practicing during time while Dean rests with holding objects with similar density to the human wrists with enough gentle force that they neither fracture or slip from his grasp. Android!Cas surprising Dean by turning the tables and pinning his wrists over his head while settling himself on Dean's thighs. Android!Cas not necessarily tickling at first so much as just touching like he had been wanting to so as to catalog how his best friend feels with his new technology. Android!Cas feeling that bubble of FEELS in his chest as he listens to Dean swear at him with positive physical actions negating his harsh words, growing more amused as the bubbling giggles begin. I love Android!Cas

Anonymous said: January 23rd 2016 Android!Cas figures out his own strength comes in handy for more than just retaining himself during tickle fights. When he surprises Dean, Dean tends to squirm and fight back a little (even though he told Cas to get him back as part of the experience), so Cas uses his strength to gently hold Dean down while ticking him. Dean's never been held immobile before so it's a new experience for him, but he ends up liking it. Cas notices how Dean relaxes into his hold after a minute or so. Cas doesn't fail to use this knowledge about Dean, coming up with teasing words and methods of ticking to make Dean all squirmy and giggly, taking special notice of how light tickles effect Dean even more than most other touches, using that specially designed soft brush meant to gently clean Cas' delicate computer chips.

Anonymous said: February 17th 2016 I'm joining in on the Android!Cas thing, if not too late. Perhaps Android!Cas has detachable parts, like a foot, and Dean is a jerk and runs off and hides with it all the while tickling it and making fun of Android!Cas's increasingly desperate attempts to get it back.

Y’all, careful deliberate curious determined ‘ler Cas is LIFE. And, reserved confused helpless adorable ‘lee Cas is also life. Detachable and extensible parts are probably key to both of these things.

---

Regarding current personal circumstances:

Anonymous said: January 14th 2020 I pray that you’re able to find peace during this difficult time. You are loved more than you will ever know. I know it’s hard to believe, but there will come a time that you are thankful for this experience, because it will have turned you into the person you are truly meant to be. Be strong and be hopeful. Keep your faith and keep knowing that you are going to be okay. Don’t let this dark time destroy the magnificent light inside of you. Sending you so much love

Anonymous said: January 17th 2020 I’m so sorry you’re struggling. Hang in there! We’re all here for you!

Anonymous said: February 11th 2020 all my love, thoughts and prayers are going towards you right now. also wanted to just drop a little thank you note in your inbox for all the light and joy i've found in your fics over the years. im sitting half way through my first year at uni currently but ive been a fan of yours since early highschool and i feel like ive almost grown up with your writing and fanfics in a strange way, so thank you so much for that. sending all my love to you once again- you are so strong x

I love you all so much.

#blog maintenance #ask #you people are too kind #prompt #Accessor 'verse #android!Cas

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stylesloveclub · 4 years ago

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I’m giving up on that one message-I sent it four times 😂 I hope you’re feeling alright and slept well once you see this🥰 I’m excited that you made the book blog😍 oh and regarding your message about deactivating...you should always put your mental health and happiness first! We’d wait for you to come back if you have to go for a bit💕-🍻

this is for tumblr u nasty ass ask eating bitch why u eating all the asks we been sending 😡😡thank u love! idk if i will deactivate maybe i was just being an overdramatic bitch!! but u know how sometimes u get really sad and get the urge to just delete all forms of communication with people... i was getting some of those vibes last night so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Why are uni applications so hard?! I just wanna get a degree my god it’s not like I have a phd already. But seriously the things I have to do in order to even be considered sucks the life out of me 🤯 at least I won’t have to pay for it since that’s not how Unis work around here but still 🙄🥺 anywayyyy im gonna reread pride and prejudice now instead of actually focusing on my portfolio haha -🍻

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE FOR THE WIN !!! keep going babe i believe in u lets get this degree!! you’ll have to help me out i’m a little dumb does uni come after high school or is it after your undergrad i’m sorry i know no other terms for this and i’m trying to put it into perspective aldjhfsdkhf but ANYWAY I HOPE IT’S NOT TOO TOO DIFFICULT AND THAT YOU CAN PULL THROUGH I BELIEVE IN U AND I’M SO EXCITED FOR U TO GET YOUR DEGREE!!

MY COPY OF THE FEMALE OF THE SPECIES IS HERE-🍻

YES YES YES WE CAN START READING NOW !! OK THE WAY WE CAN DO THIS IS WE CAN READ CHAPTER 1-5 ?? AND THEN U CAN COME HERE AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK AND I’LL TELL YOU WHAT I THINK AND WE CAN DISCUSS N SHIT AND THIS IS GONNA B SO MUCH FUN!!

Quick question: shall I use y/n and you in my new fic or an original character? I’ve never used y/n before but maybe it’s time to? 🤔Sorry for all the messages today I have a lot on my mind haha 😂 -🍻

I THINK IT DEPENDS ON HOW MUCH PERSONALITY AND CHARACTER U WANNA GIVE THE MC!! I THINK BOTH OC’S AND Y/N’S ARE REALLY FUN TO READ SO I DON’T HAVE ANY PERSONAL PREFERENCE BUT SAY YOU WANNA MAKE THE MC A REALLY BADASS BITCH WITH A FIREY PERSONALITY THEN MAYBE GIVE HER A NAME AND A LOOK AND EVERYTHING TOO!! OR IF U WANT IT TO BE INCLUSIVE SO EVERYONE CAN IMAGINE THEIR OWN CHARACTER THEN USE Y/N!!

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kilyra · 6 years ago

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I Swear to You

Special Agent Ben Poindexter/Bullseye (Daredevil) One-Shot

A/N: I received a request from love-n-sprinkles @love-n-sprinkles-deactivated201 (Well dang, seeing this person’s blog is deactivated makes me sad, hopefully she still sees this!) for a scenario where Dex is working for Fisk but finds a new Northstar and leaves it all behind to be with the reader.

Warning: Season 2 spoilers, but no other warning.

If you want to be on a taglist (all or a specific character) just let me know.

It had been a normal day at work. Perfectly average in every way actually, which suited you fine since it meant no stress. But unfortunately, that fell apart once you opened the door to the apartment you shared with Dex.

It was completely trashed.

Immediately, your heart was pounding and your mind raced through the possibilities. Break-in? A struggle? Was Dex okay?

As you reached for your phone, Dex came rushing out of the bedroom, crossing into the living room. Spotting you, he froze. “Y/n, good. Come inside and shut the door.”

Whatever relief you saw from seeing him was quickly squashed when you saw his red eyes, wrinkled clothes and dishevelled hair. “W-what’s going on, Dex?”

Blinking rapidly, he started taking steps towards the entrance. “Now, Y/n. I need you to get inside now. Please.”

Swallowing heavily, you forced your feet forward, fighting the urge to back further down the hall. Closing the door behind you, you moved by the kitchen counter, not going any closer. “Seriously. What’s going on? Were we robbed?”

Stiffly, he shot you a wide smile. You assumed it was to comfort you, but your stomach knotted. “No. No, we weren’t robbed. I did this.”

Why?

It was the only question silently bouncing through your mind as you looked over the destroyed apartment. Everything on the shelves was dumped onto the floor and almost every piece of furniture was flipped over. The couch was left upright, but all the cushions were ripped open with the stuffing pulled out. And that was just the damage you could see from where you stood.

His eyes narrowed as his smile dropped. “Okay, I see how this looks and I can explain. I will explain. Everything. But right now, I need you to pack your things.”

“What?” You breathed out the word in a quiet whoosh of air.

Moving forward until he was directly in front of you, he brought his hands together like he was about to pray. There was a slight waver in his otherwise controlled tone. "Please. Y/n. I need you to listen to me and start packing."

You continued to survey the room when you spotted a knife sticking out from the wall. Suddenly, you found your voice again. “Pack? Pack for what? Why is there a knife stabbed into the wall? What the hell is going on here?”

“Y/n, please.” You jumped as he practically shouted.

Squeezing your eyes closed, you took a sharp inhale, trying to stay calm. “You say you know how this looks, but honestly? To me, this just looks like you forgot to-”

“Take my meds?” There was no trace of insult to his tone at your implication.

You glanced to the side but didn't try to explain yourself.

Watching you intently, his eyebrows rose as he continued. “I can see how you might think that, but I haven't. I'm taking my meds and I've even been listening to my tapes. A lot. I'm handling this poorly, I realize that, but I promise you I've thought this through."

Sighing, you reached over and set your hands on top of his. “But if I'm going to pack a bag, Dex, I need to know why.”

Mirroring your sigh, he let out a long exhale. The tension in his face relaxed slightly as he continued to breathe in sync with you. His fingers lifted to wrap around yours, clasping your hands tightly and when he spoke again, his tone was calmer. "How many North Stars are in the sky at night?"

The muscles in your jaw slacked and your mouth wordlessly opened for a moment. “...W-what?”

His throat worked as he swallowed. “One. There's only one. That's you, Y/n. And my boss...he's not going to like that.”

“I have no idea what th-...Your boss? At the FBI?” You seemed to help him find his centre, but you were drowning.

Swaying back a step, his entire chest heaved as he scoffed. “The FB..No, no not the FBI.”

When he tried to pull away, you clamped your fingers tight through his, stopping him. “Then who?”

“Fisk.” He spoke with the quiet, calm confidence of a man getting something off his chest and not the agitated ramble of someone with a delusion. But it made no sense.

It was you who backed away, pulling your hands from his as you put space between you. His eyebrows furrowed as his eyes darted to your hands. “No, no, Y/n, I'm telling you the truth. You have to believe me.”

Words were getting stuck in your suddenly dry mouth. “I do. But...how...?”

“H-he's got people on the inside. Turns out getting that convict into prison didn't do much to stop him. He just had to pull some different strings first.”

“And that was you? You're...you're a string?”

“No. Well...yes. I-I don't know,” he said haltingly as he started tapping his thumb against the counter. “He pulled bigger strings than me. But, Y/n, I got in deep. Really deep. And the further I go with him, the further away I am from you. And I can't...I can't do that.”

The bit of calmness you managed to bring to the situation was already coming unravelled as his thumb tapping sped up.

“Judging by this place, I assume you can't just quit then.”

A sad smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he glanced over the room. “No, I can't. Fisk...he doesn't go at people straight he...he goes after family and loved ones. If he suspects I'm pulling out, I'm worried it will put you at risk.”

Your heart hammered against your rib cage as the confusion melted away. Being confused felt better. Slowly, you crossed your arms over your chest, tightly hugging yourself as you broke eye contact.

“This is sudden and it must be difficult for you, I get that. But I don't know who I can trust or how far this goes at the FBI. I've reached out to old contacts I served with before the bureau and I can get us out of state tonight. Maybe even out of the country. If I make it look like there was some sort of fight here, it will throw everyone off the trail and give us some breathing room.”

“S-so you expect me to just leave everything behind and disappear with you?”

Rushing forward, he squeezed his hands on your shoulders. Firmly, he rubbed his thumbs over the fabric of your jacket as he stared into your eyes. “Y/n, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. You deserve better than to be dragged into this. But if you don't come with me, right now, I think Fisk will try to have you killed.”

The desperation had returned to his eyes, which were pleading with you even louder than he was. You didn’t know much about Fisk, but if you were on his radar, you knew you had to run.

Forcing a hard exhale through your nose, you nodded. As soon as you accepted the situation, it felt like a curtain dropped over you and a numbness removed you from your growing panic. It was replaced with cold determination. There would be time for feelings and details later. “What do I pack?”

A faint smile flickered over his lips before he nodded. “As little as possible. We can't let it look like we packed our bags and left.”

Nodding, you pulled away to get to it. Not letting go, he moved closer and slid his arms towards your back, pulling you against his chest. You caught the crisp, familiar scent of his aftershave as you relaxed against his shoulder. Uncrossing your arms, you wrapped them around him, enjoying the short-lived moment.

His chest rumbled as he spoke softly. “I'm going to fix this, Y/n. I swear to you, I'm going to fix this.”

Taglist: @ladysprinkles18 @fiction-is-the-new-reality @foreverfaeries @flower-two @getlostinyourparadise @natsukitakama

#benjamin poindexter x reader #dex x reader #bullseye x reader #daredevil

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lakinda5654 · 5 years ago

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~~~~A Girl and God~~~~ Chapter 16- Silence

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A Girl and A God is a RATED M Loki Fanfic with an original character, Alexa, who is taken in by Tony Stark after the revelation of abilities of her own. There’s sex, romance, heartbreak, action, fluff, angst, all that good stuff. Full description in blog, and a jump-to-chapter list if you just want the smut or the cuteness bits. Enjoy <3

Chapter Summary: Despite recovering from the past 3 days of events, Alexa manages to make a new friend, and later that night, decides to give Loki one last chance...

Contains: cute friendship, the plot gets thicc

Word Count: 2,391

~Previous Chapter~~Next Chapter~

~~Beginning of Story~~

—————————————————

When Alexa woke, her eyes fluttered open to the sight of Loki’s cell. He was awake, staring up at the blank ceiling. She recalled everything that had happened, but her head still felt clouded. She longed to hold him in her arms and know what was going on, why had he run…

“Hey”

A voice that wasn’t hers or Loki’s shocked her out of her thoughts. She gasped and scrambled back, failing to gain traction with her one palm against the silky sheets on a polished concrete floor.

It was Peter. He was sitting awkwardly several feet away, by the entrance to the cell hall. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you! I was just wandering around and I got the memo about what happened yesterday and I wanted to see how bad Loki’s arm was which I guess was stupid cuz its all bandaged up but then I saw you and I wasn't sure when you'd wake up so I waited for a bit cuz maybe you’d wanna talk or have help putting your bed back or-”

“It’s ok Peter…” as she sat up, her head began to throb. “You scared the shit out of me though.” She rubbed her forehead, suddenly realizing the embarrassing situation she was in. How could she explain why she was sleeping outside Loki’s cell?

“I was um, my room was too hot and I…”

“It’s okay.” Peter was smiling. “You don’t need to do that. I get it. When I had a concussion a couple years ago I did some craaazy stuff in my sleep too. Oh like this one time I went to the fridge to get something to eat and poured some milk but I forgot the cup and it went everywhere and, sorry for scaring you though.” He awkwardly looked around, as if he needed to ask her something but wasn’t sure how to get there.

It was now that Alexa realized that though Peter was younger than her, he was the closest person to her age here.

“I heard about your head and arm and stuff. Tony told us what happened.” He said. “You seriously flew a skateboard?”

“What? Oh, yeah I did. Didn’t go too well”

She felt embarrassed still. The urge to explain away her stupidity overwhelmed her. Before she could speak though, Peter did.

“I mean you still did it, I mean come on that had to be the coolest thing! How fast did you go? Were you like standing on it like a surfboard or like hanging on like a hang glider?”

Oh my god. That’s what he wanted to know about, that’s why he was here. This sixteen-year-old boy had come down here and waited for her to wake up, just to hear the story of how she piloted a skateboard over New York.

It felt good. He didn’t care that she was an idiot, that perusing Loki was undoubtedly a bad decision, he didn’t care about any of that. Because she flew a god damn skateboard.

After a brief pause, Alexa started laughing, and Peter followed suit.

“Yeah, you know what,” she said between chuckles, “I sat on the skateboard like a horse right, cuz I’ve never even used a skateboard. And it started beelining across New York like I was in a freaking wormhole.” She was laughing with her words. “I flew a skateboard that when it got where I wanted to be, launched me into a fucking tree.” Peter’s eyes brightened. “Oh my god!” he giggled in his young, boyish voice. They both suddenly were in a laughing fit. It felt so good. The previous day was so beyond shitty and making a joke of it somehow made it feel like she’d be okay. Still laughing, Peter pulled out his phone. “Wait wait wait I got it,” he said.

She looked at him. “What??” She was still laughing. He held up one finger, showing her to wait. Their laughter died down a bit, and she checked her phone. Then after a minute, Peter was cracking up again. He couldn’t stop. “WHAT PETER OH MY GOD” he turned his phone to her.

He literally made a fucking meme. It showed a picture of the Lion King scene, with the monkey labeled “a fucking flying skateboard” and the lion baby labeled “u” and the next pic had the lion being chucked through the air, with YEET written across the sky.

Why that was so funny, she couldn’t explain. But Peter and her sat there laughing until tears stained her cheeks. It was one of those moments where the second you stopped laughing, you’d look at each other and immediately lose control again. It went on for far longer than it should have.

“Ok ok come on,” Peter said, holding his stomach. “Let’s get your stuff back up to your room.”

“Oh, I can just send it” Alexa replied.

He looked at her, confused for a moment before his eyes widened as she flicked her wrist and everything on the floor rolled itself into a ball and shot out of the hall and into the stairwell.

There was a moment of silence

“Well ok, sure you can just tell stuff what to do that’s cool, totally cool, that’s fine.” He said, and it was clear he was trying to keep his composure and not completely lose his shit over what he just saw. “I’m going to go to breakfast. You coming or does the breakfast just come to you is that how that all works...”

Alexa paused and looked in at Loki alone in his cell. “I’ll be there in a bit”

“Okay sounds good,” Peter said and he trotted quickly out of the hall, breakfast outweighing the confusion of what he’d just seen in his mind.

As soon as she knew she was alone, she went to press the speech button, then stopped. She looked at his face, as he stared at the ceiling evidently thinking of something. She didn’t want to do this through a wall. She wanted to wait until tonight. She’d open his door and they could really talk, the way that they should.

The day felt long. Loki was obviously not at the group meals anymore, Clint seemed to be giving Tony an “I told you so” vibe with everything he did. Most of her day was spent in her suite, watching tv or resting her aching head and shoulder. She also had a good number of bruises and scrapes from her fall that she kept tending to throughout the day.

That night at dinner, Tony stood up to make an announcement. “Ok, I get you’re all pissed about his escape. I do. It’s reasonable. He’s not coming to meals anymore. But we are making some changes as an additional precaution. After checking cameras it looks like he escaped by using illusion to look like a civilian and conjuring a fake guard after dinner to escort him that night. What I’ve come to find out,” Stark paused. “Is that that particular ability is stopped whenever an electrical shock is administered. Even a small one.” He explained. “So, I’ve come up with this.” He pressed a button and a projection shot up at the head of the table. “It’s like a doorframe that administers many minor shocks so small that you can’t feel them. They’ll be at every exit and entrance to this building we’ve got. It won’t only be for Loki, any small electrical device such as a bomb will also be detected and deactivated.” Tony continued to explain the technology, but most of his in-depth explanations went over her head. Lastly, he said they were adding more security guards to the exits and entrances as well. Alexa waited for the presentation to be over, and quietly left as soon as it was.

Midnight of that evening arrived, and she was well prepared to speak to Loki again. She’d thought through what he’d done, and what she wanted to know. She had her notebook with her, and she wrote down all of the questions she needed answers to. Alexa wasn’t good with confrontation, and once she saw his face again she would probably forget everything she meant to speak with him about if she didn’t have it in front of her.

it was possible that what he said was true, that he despised her... but this entire week had been so upside down, she had to give him another chance. Just one more.

When she reached his cell just after midnight, she looked inside and melted. He was crying. He was holding his head in his hands and crying. She first pressed the communications button. “Loki?”

He jumped, wiping the tears from his face. He immediately got up and ran to the one-way wall, and looked into it, looking desperate, then he did something even weirder.

He held up his bracelet to his mouth and replied coarsely. “When will you learn to leave me alone!” Then he lowered his wrist and shook his head, his eyes filled with tears.

Oh my god. The bracelet isn’t just a tracker.

Loki held up a finger to his lips.

It was listening. It was recording what he said.

She let go of the com button and watched him. He then pointed to the door, holding a finger to his lips, looking desperately at the wall that he could not see her through. After punching in the key code, she quietly opened the door.

Loki immediately hugged her. She grimaced. He was too rough on her shoulder. It was then that he looked at her and realized her injury. He ran his hand gently on her forearm and looked at how it hung delicately in the white sling.

Loki was no longer crying, he looked livid. He saw her notebook in her other arm and quickly snatched it from her and sat down. She followed his lead and sat in front of him, holding the door with her body. He made a writing motion with his hand.

Alexa shoved her hands into her pockets violently and found a single, almost broken pencil. She quickly gave it to him. So much of what was happening already made so much more sense and their silent conversation began.

He saw her list of questions and looked up at her, and turned the notebook over to a blank page. He scribbled quickly, then handed the notebook back to her.

“Who did this to you?”

The fact that that’s why he was angry and that it was the first thing he wanted to know made Alexa feel something, but she had so many feelings right now that she couldn’t process that one, so she shoved it down.

She wrote back. “No one. I crashed when I was trying to ride something using telekinesis.” She turned the notebook to face him. That was the truth. He didn’t need to know that the only reason she was forced to try that was to search for him right now.

He looked skeptical. Then Alexa turned the notebook back to her list of questions, looking at what one she wanted him to answer first. Before she could choose, Loki took the book from her hands, flipped a page as quietly as he could, and then wrote, “can I explain”

Alexa nodded, her heart racing. She waited as he sat there, writing vigorously as if his life depended on it.

When he handed it back to Alexa, everything she needed to know was understood. How he was being listened to, how he was forbidden to speak to her, how Tony had threatened to send you elsewhere. How he was being shocked if he tried to tell her the truth. The story of the day he ran, how he created an illusion guard that escorted him out of the tower instead of to his cell. How he shape-shifted into a normal-looking citizen and was trying desperately to find a way to remove the bracelet. Melting wouldn’t work given that the prongs that sunk into his skin were along the entire thing. He thought maybe if he could smash it, it would release its grips in his flesh. Nothing was working as he slammed his wrist against a rock in Central Park. When he could hear the sound of the Avengers tower alarm in the distance is when he panicked. He began clawing at his wrist desperately trying to rip the thing off of his flesh before Tony came. How he was given shocks rapidly until he blacked out from the pain.

Alexa looked at him, and the bracelet. He was no longer looking at her through tears but through determination. A look of, “what’s the plan?” First, she wrote down “I’m sorry”

Now there were tears on her face. She’d been angry with him, for acting that way when he had no other choice.

He reached out his hand and wiped a tear away with his thumb, shaking his head. His face read “it’s not your fault”

But she couldn’t help but feel that it was. She was the one who was trying to free him in the first place.

Her waves of emotion turned from sadness and pity to anger. No. This was not her fault. It was Tony’s. She had never more wanted to cause someone pain in her entire life. He lied to her, blatantly, and tortured the person she cared for.

Loki’s face had returned to one of urgency. What would they do? What could they do?

After thinking for a moment, she wrote down. “I could try to remove it”

Loki looked at her and raised his eyebrows. Then looked at the bracelet, still wrapped under bandages.

He couldn’t remove it with his power because all he could do was move it. She could command it to release… but what would happen then? Would an alarm sound? Would Tony know the thing had been disconnected…

They were both wondering the same things. Loki could tell by her expression. But he held out his wrist and nodded, his eyes on the floor, thinking of the pain to come. This would not be easy, and he knew it. She knew it too. But what other choice did they have? She refused to let Tony have this power over him any more.

#Loki #lokilove #lokioc #loki fanfiction #lokifanfiction #loki feels #lokicute #A Girl and A God #Fanfiction #fanfic #loki fanfic #loki x oc

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reyintherain · 7 years ago

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(This is kind of part 3 of my Vanity Fair related post-gate thoughts)

Naturally and unfortunately, these recent news stirred some fandom drama, and while much has been said about some fans being overly eager to defend and present their views and interpretations, to put it mildly, I wanted to share my two cents too on this story and a larger picture. As I was writing the previous bit on the Vanity Fair coverage, that post gradually grew into something larger, and to keep things clear I moved it to a separate post. Not that anyone would probably care, but here it is, thoughts and lessons from my experience and observations in this fandom so far, Reylo fandom in particular.

Having been first a passive observer since c. February 2016, and later a modest contributor (and still much of an observer, go-with-the-flow-discover-artwork-and-gifs type of blogger), one of the first things I noticed was the ways some fans were treating and plainly attacking other fans for what they disagreed with them. That was the first instance of learning about antis and what they do, and seeing the consequences of their actions, up to the point that some people felt the need to deactivate their blogs and presumably leave this site (for good or for a while, doesn’t matter). Literally almost every blog that I visited and followed that created or reblogged Reylo related content, be it art, thoughts, meta, or fanfiction seemed to have been under attack. Sadly, that wasn’t a big surprise as the Internet is notorious for many examples of cyber-bullying, gatekeeping, and a place to be an asshole under a comfy blanket of anonymity and lack of societal norms that act as guidelines for what’s okay and what’s not when it comes to interactions with others in real life.

Taking obsession with a fictitious fairy-tale to the extreme and making it life is nothing wrong with, as well as liking or disliking some aspects of it and its interpretation. If only some fans were a bit more sensitive, mature, and respectful when it comes to discussion around everyone’s favourite saga and characters. Seeing people getting attacked for their views and interpretations based on what is clearly given in the photos/articles, as well as media’s poor choice of words when it comes to shipping - e.g. recent Vanity Fair’s article referring to Reylo and Stormpilot as fantasies, fanfiction, imagined things - is unfortunate and shows less pleasant corners of the fandom and geek culture, big or small: ugly and toxic when it comes to fans attacking and bullying other fans or dismissive and even condescending attitude when it comes to talking about shipping culture and a phenomena of engaging in characters’ dynamics and relationships.

These past couple days are probably the first time since I’ve been actively (following) in the fandom on Tumblr that I saw the drama and, not one, but whole two gates unfold right before my eyes as the hell broke loose (thanks, Vanity Fair) (I remember watching things like #ashgate but it seemed to stir controversy among Reylo shippers, rather than send them tons of ants love, but I might be wrong). While I wasn’t personally attacked, I felt no better for seeing other blogs and posts get dragged down. It’s ridiculous to think some people take time in shaming and attacking others while claiming they despise the topic at hand themselves, yet actively post about it, send messages and stuff. Really, what’s their fucking problem, and why the fuck they feel entitled to push their opinions and preferences on others, seek them out and attack them, because they are not.

Since starting this blog, I got some ant* love letters too. No really, I was like, wow, I’m being recognized in this community haha. But really it’s not funny at all. I did engage once into conversation which led to nowhere and just got me more insults. And - confession time - I regret the way it sounded when I said how can they accuse me of supporting abuse because I like Reylo (which isn’t an abusive ship) when they themselves like Anakin who is canonically abusive and a murderer. It’s not what I said about that person liking Anakin that bothers me, but rather how I said that, as if getting back at them. The thing is I myself consider Anakin’s tragic fall as one of my favourite parts about the prequels, and I really like Revenge of the Sith. Not that I support Anakin’s murderous acts, but I understand where they come from, and enjoy the tragedy of the story which is quite beautiful. While I was upset and frustrated at them attacking me, and I was trying to have a sensible conversation, and was trying to point out incoherence and hypocrisy in the argument of that person, that part about Anakin came a bit off. Not my proudest moment, though I may overthink about it and make a bigger deal out if it than it really is, but in all honesty, I could’ve phrased it better. I’ve learned my lesson to be better than that and not to get back to someone. Some people might say, well that’s simply self defense, and I heard some people saying that the the best way to put some back into their place when they’re being aggressive to you is to reply in their language i.e. in their way. I don’t agree with that, and believe there are other, more civil and polite ways to deal with those kind of things. Because replying by getting back to someone is being no better than them, and can actually achieve the opposite, and let the fire rage on (unless that’s what you want, but that’s another story).

Another lesson from that interaction was that, unfortunately, sometimes there is no point in engaging in one-sided conversations when the other side is doing nothing but insulting and attacking, not listening, and not willing to have an intelligent discussion. It’s not even a conversation but rather a full-on verbal attack where one side - the attacking side - is speaking to attack only, and listening only to pick words out of context, manipulate and twist their meaning, and then reply using your own twisted out-of-context words as further proof how dumb and disgusting you are. That's disrespectful, immature, and toxic, and I have no further wish to ever engage in such conversations. Hence, the last, but not least lesson - block them all.

Now, no one should be attacking and getting attacked like that to begin with, but the reality is that those things happen, unfortunately, and yes it’s unfair that the burden of keeping oneself safe and one’s well-being sane falls onto them, but fortunately, an option to block exists, and can really help. It’s not a solution that addresses the root of the problem, and might not be applicable in all cases, but it’s quite an effective tool which can help rid of ants and make overall fandom experience happier. Because if not for fun, why else do this? It’s about taking control into your hands (when possible), and saying no I don’t want to engage into that, I want my fandom/shipping experience what I want it to be - fun and enjoyable.

As for those who feel the urge to jump and acutely disagree with anything and anyone that differ from them and their reading, there are polite and respectful ways to engage in discussion. Being open, listening, doing some introspective work, considering others, and considering why we all are in this fandom - for our love of the same thing - should be really a routine. The ways we engage might be different, what we take away, who we identify with, how we interpret canon material - all of that can and should be approached from different angles, and shouldn’t be a problem at all. Instead of ripping the fandom apart - embracing multiple facets of it, having fun - but not at the expense of others, - and celebrating (analyzing, and over-analyzing, and criticizing) all things Star Wars is the way to be.

#the last jedi #vanity fair #tlj #romancegate #boobgate #reylo #star wars #sw fandom #tlj gates #pre ep VIII #*#my post #i'm writing way more than i should've considering how much time it takes #but i really felt like saying it #even though no one cares #my blog my posts

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