#help i love so much ffxiv charas ;;;; | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

noxtivagus · 2 years ago

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i've been using my priv twt a lot lately & i've been rambling sm abt ffxiv n other stuff but i think Soon i will get back to tumblr

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noxtivagus · 3 years ago

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NO THOUGHTS ONLY SHADOWBRINGERS HFALKDSJFASLKD

#🌙.rambles #[ ffxiv. ]#sorry my head is like . ffxiv. yes. empty. just ffxiv.#i love love love love themes w like. apocalypses? the world ending wtvr yk. HDLFKAJDLFKS.. SHADOWBRINGERS. IS. SO.#okay i cld ramble on n on about each of the expansions n they're all equally special to me but i want to ramble about shb rn #i started ffxiv during shadowbringers so the expansion is. yeah. YEAH 🥹#emet-selch.. he's srs my favorite antag ever. maybe hermes too if he counts idk but they're not necessarily cruel 'villains'#they're so human they're so goddamn human n it touches me so much i love them they own my heart #listening to ffxiv ost just gets me like this thank you soken thank you to the ffxiv team i love you guys so much thank you thank you #eulmore ost w. pain in pleasure & indulgence & masquerade. THE DEVELOPMENT FROM THE START OF THE GAME TO ENDGAME #IS SO GOOD. I LOVE IT. n then grr i love songs w yk the waltz yk or rlly just stuff like this so much it's just so pleasing to my ears #it sounds like heaven. n then. the scenarios it brings in my mind! i love fantasy worlds so much they mean so much to me #huh. realizing once more i rlly like a lot of charas that end up destroying the world one way or another. or wanted to or smth #sephiroth. lucilius. n yh emet-selch & hermes as i mentioned.#i cld ramble on so much abt emet-selch oh dear help me i'm still not over the 'angel of truth' thing n then. azemet T_T #azemet srs is like my otp. or uh. idk a lot of ff pairing r my otps #AZEMET. THE ANGST. hdfjasdlkf emet w azem n hyth hehe his friends r so. chaotic canonically. emet probably doesn't look the part w #idk bcs he looks so grumpy n old lol but he's rlly so kind at heart 🥺 i'm sorry i'm head over heels he's so ugly /lh i love him #ffxiv ost just has this. oh my god. it's so good. it fits so much w just every aspect in the whole game n i'm not exaggerating at all #when i say i know them all so well by heart. i could ramble for hours n days on each song in the whole game n what they mean to me #i love. ffxiv so much. the recurring themes n the way they tie stuff up together is just smth i've always loved nn #ffxiv's story was smth i looked for my whole life before finding out abt the game? idk the game rlly just means so much to me #one day. one day i'll create something of my own. smth like what ffxiv means to me but.. smth entirely my own.#goddamn i'm genuinely still very anxious n nervous abt the future. n like this year yh but. i'm even more excited.#i want to do a lot i. i want to reach out to tomorrow. i want to reach my dreams!!!! i'll reach. even further. forge ahead #help it's 1 am wnvr it's later into the night i usually end up rambling like this huh.#don't mine me i rlly just like writing n i talk to myself often 😭 i'm a bit tired for other stuff tonight but.#thinking of. stories or wtvr just refreshing my mind. i love ffxiv so much :<< all these stories mean so much to me..#yk what i'll just do more tmrrw i just want to take this time rn for myself #hdjfaklsdf i love music. n video games. n stories n idk just all of it just HDLFKAJSDLF.. i'm so in love w them all i just appreciate it sm

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noxtivagus · 3 years ago

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erichthonios final fantasy fourteen whwjdkgjshgksj

#🌙.rambles #[ ffxiv. ]#he....!#help i like so much ffxiv charas with uh #😭😭 the erics have daddy issues !#( aymeric ) is one of my favs too oh man #n in particular thancred n ryne is one of my fav dynamics in game #THE HEADPAT. WAHHH ;;;;;;#🥹 i saw a fanart of erichthonios #headpat .#I GOT SO SOFT UWAH HE'S SO CUTE SOBBING CRYING #technically doesn't alphinaud kind of have daddy issues too.......#emet n hermes r my other top fav charas n #they're just sad bois #n zero my beloved is #HER.... IM SO SMITTEN STILL I LOVE WOMEN LIKE HER #also gaia 🥺 n y'shtola .#help i love so much ffxiv charas ;;;;#but looking at my top favs n i see how they reflect on me #nah thinking abt my other fav charas as well n why do i like SAD CHARAS SO MUCH #noctis is pretty tragic. theres smth sad abt claude that's just. yeah. idk #mafuyu & kanade r pretty sad 💀 n. in gbf i wld say the lucis are kinda sad for me #oh n in ffxiv ! hermes ;w;; my bb boy please i have never longed more in my whole life to give a fictional character a huh #hug*#i. i like sad. huh.#help wait im gna delete the upcoming tags later #realizing once more that #distancing myself. being confusing both intentionally n unintentionally #i think i've developed those as responses and coping mechanisms #i don't necessarily mean to be 'silent' but i can lose myself in myself easily

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noxtivagus · 2 years ago

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head in hands thinking of hermes n ebenholz

#🌙.rambles #rereading question of life again a bunch today n. hermes.. searching for the answer to change in other stars.#my bro. my dear. beloved. i daresay the answer's been w you all along.. in a way #I FEEL. SO MUCH FOR HERMES. BCS HE FELT SO LONELY N DIFFERENT IN THE IMPERFECT SOCIETY OF ETHEIRYS #but bro if you're an aberration then fuck it i'll. be one too yk? you won't be alone #i haven't finished lingering echoes yet on yt or wtvr but #that freedom he rlly yearned for.. that touches me so much. i can't even begin to explain it oh my god #out of all my favs in ffxiv i probably talk abt hermes the most. in terms of his chara he's probably my fav #but alphi n emet-selch r equally as special as well i rlly don't have a fav in ffxiv 😭#in arknights. i rlly don't know much yet but with chara design there's mostima n lappland that definitely caught my eye the most #but. even w those two n others as well. ebenholz i think was the chara that i knew wld be my fav #n then help my mind has two definite like. IDK HOW TO SAY IT BUT i'm rlly thinking of both hermes n ebenholz at the same time #n. one of my ocs too. who srs just. helpp i project sm unto him he's probably like my no. 1 ideal type #ständchen & dead butterflies & no plan r the three songs i'll obsess over today it seems >.>#dead butterflies w the context n the. word choice the imagery the emotion in it :^) so special. so meaningful.#to me it. it's like a persisting emptiness. a sorrow that doesn't ever quite go away. fitting w the context of yk yeah i think #no plan! hozier! THE LYRICS R SO PERFECT MY MAN ILY #i rlly relate w the meaning behind the lyrics of the song <3 #n then ständchen T_T EBENHOLZ.. N THEN. YK THE MELODY FROM SCHUBERT #i love music so so much. n everything about music. the meaning behind it n what it means to me as well n. yeah. YEAH #wait. i'm still obsessed w doomsday :^) sobs n talk from hozier too.. n. running in the dark. yeah #doomsday.. dealing w loss. inevitability of mortality. talk w the flowery insincerity oh my god. n then.#running in the dark i can't even rlly say bcs the song is just. rlly means a lot to me personally T_T it's so comforting #once i learn more of arknights! i will certainly write what i think of it in a different light someday #i think. i can rlly emphatize w these song themselves. the meaning behind them n the context n #i'm also very aware of what it personally means to me n #that small certainty in smth that's rlly just so vastly uncertain brings me some ounce of comfort.#curiosity of the unknown gives me comfort too. i've never rlly been one to hide or run away from what i fear bcs i still find it interestin #i just. rlly love sm things in life. i'm rlly glad i can still hold unto this part of me despite the painful things as well #but i'm one that. i. have to appreciate life wholly. it gets overwhelming tho but i still strive to just be myself n what that means to me.

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noxtivagus · 3 years ago

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i love game osts so Much

#🌙.rambles #that said i'm also thinking of some games n i rlly realize how #you see in ff i like characters like zack n noctis n rinoa n we're not gna head into ffxiv bcs there's too much but i also like kuja n yuna #locke n hope n serah n.. WAIT I WASN'T GNA RAMBLE ABT FF CHARACTERS HELP >.> i was gna talk abt the Sky #i love all the botw charas sm but ngl revali was my fav n. oh my god i love his theme so much & the rito village osts too #fe3h hmm verdant wind yes claude! i rlly like him a lot. n then gbf.. oh wmtsb n the dragon knights w themes i love vv much! angels. knight #i'm just thinking of random stuff rn while listening to osts n a lot of ppl didn't like sor but i loved it sm seox & nehan r my favs #when i love all these games n stories i remember i rlly do love so deeply but ffxiv's grasp on me was. so special wtf #maybe it was bcs i genuinely found what i was looking for back then. i played a lot of video games around that time n #something missing i think was. i didn't know back then but an mmorpg like ffxiv was really what i needed #i miss the game a lot i haven't played in a week now i think. it's been a week since we made the fc. huh. damn #ff rlly is special to me huh 10/13 were games i rmb from our old ps3. apollo played x while i played xiii #i still remember the fireworks. with snow & serah. n i remember the ost i remember how i'd listen to them too while playing xv #i finished xv/viir/ix all in 2020 but i started xv in 2019. kh3 & fe3h too. n played a lot but haven't exactly finished botw n octopath heh #og ff7 too ^^ oh my god fe3h & botw's osts aren't on spotify but i downloaded mp3s so i cld add them to playlists #i don't have them all downloaded tho n i just downloaded them again recently so. i don't listen as much as i should so #listening to these makes me feel so nostalgic n it brings back sm memories. i don't listen too often bccs ^^ but i memorize it still #i don't play my switch often bcs i usually forget to charge it n when i do i end up forgetting to play but. 🥺🫶🏼#OH.. I MISS LIKE. GAMES TOO LIKE. mario. super mario galaxy both games i played those sm i can't rmber well i was so so young #random but i think it's rlly obvious to tell my mood by my texting style in a certain moment oh man #my dad n my aunt grew up w like a lot of games. n. sometimes it slips me mind how much they influenced me fr. my family #my intelligence. my. general curiosity n respect for life too ngl. my love for science. books too n literature n mythology n #technology! n. numbers n words n. hehe my wide taste in music. playing piano too n then. animanga too even n. games ofc #my dad played 7/8/10. my aunt played even more; 7-10 & 12/13/15 & type-0? she didn't finish 13/15 tho #despite having a lot of interests like. oh yh my friends in middle school got me rlly into anime & kpop but when it came to games n books #& music even which were really big passions of apollo n i. we only rlly had each other as friends for those #lonely.. it's always been rather lonely in my world so even if i don't talk w them as much as i'd like to bcs i'm afraid of reaching out #too much n fucking up. i'm rlly grateful for the ppl i met this year. i love them so much but ironically enough even as someone that loves #to write i really don't convey it very well. but. everything n every person i've ever loved in any way rlly just is a huge comfort to me #there's sm more i want to do rn but i think i'll try to finish that article critique by tonight.

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noxtivagus · 3 years ago

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thinking about haurchefant hours (tales from the dragonsong war side stories) 🥺🤍

#🌙.rambles #[ ffxiv. ]#loml actually he's just the sweetest guy.#'thoughts unspoken' man wrote us letters that he never sent #i am so Weak for that. like imagine the drafts #haurchefant's one of the charas that's v obvious about his feelings for the wol in a way #he admires the wol so much.... he's so precious :')#he's a knight!!!! isn't that so charming #he never said these words. never managed to #'thoughts unspoken' THAT SENTIMENT MAKES ME SO EMOTIONAL #cries i will not say anymore on that bcs that is a very personal and intimate struggle of mine #BUT.#'I cannot deny that it filled my heart with joy to see you finally set foot in our fair city.' my beloved. this man.#^ would be me too when i finally have my friends go to ishgard for the first time hehe #he's so. he's so KINDDDD HAURCHEFANT IS SO UNCONDITIONALLY KIND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I WANT TO MARRY HIM #'I knew at once that I must do everything in my power to help you to preserve the dawn's light' sobs #'It was / to be frank / no easy thing for me.' i'm gna cry #you see. i have read this story many a time before but i still get emotional each. and. every. time.#love.... & then why he chose to be a knight :<#'And so I told him of the woman who had unexpectedly come into our lives' i'll cry #'whose very presence drove others to be better than themselves' i'm crying #'this cherished friend of mine / was a hero' N THE FOLLOWING STUFF TOO OH MY GOD THIS MAN OWNS MY HEART #HE NEVER GOT TO SAY THESE WORDS TO US.... I'M GNA CRY AGAIN #'But you will think me facetious. Pray then allow me to speak plain.' i am genuinely crying a lot right now he. he means so much to me #WHY CAN'T WE BE MORE THAN FRIENDS MF I HATE YOU HAURCHEFANT GREYSTONE #you see i am very much a romantic & i am weak to. personally i am weak for letters. that's one thing #he believes in us so much.... this stupid stupid letter #he promises he'll be there. i am so smitten. oh my god #snow night dawn promises smile trust dearest strive triumph journey swear. all these key words my man i am in love with you #the sun.... cries this is so much pain but i feel a lot better now wtf

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noxtivagus · 3 years ago

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oh man i still love ffxv so much 🫶🏼

#🌙.rambles #[ ffxv. ]#i am thinking again of . noctis #GODDAMN I USED TO BE SO #noctis used to be my fav chara back then. he's still one of my favs rn #i love ffxv music sm man thank you yoko shimomura for composing elegant osts #i love kingdom hearts sm too.... final fantasy n kh my childhood fr #help i like so many games that are connected to sqex in a way 😭#nier published by sqex . n huh #even one of my fav animanga ( fullmetal alchemist ) is connected to sqex in a way #funny how all these interests were influenced by my father's side of the family. my dad n an aunt in particular #i actually nearly finished the manga for fma ! but not the last few volumes bcs my aunt has them w her in japan i think. 🥹#wait i'm listening to ffx rn n i am emotional. my first exposure to ff #but i played ffxiii first. i still remember the start of the second chapter i think...? then rip ps3 broke #🥹 i'm. i love my childhood #thinking abt it n i've really been exposed to a lot of video games #gow & tlou & loz & ac & the other ac & ff & nier & fe & kh & mario stuff ofc & help sm more #oh man i really have always been passionate about video games. it means so much to me esp w the ones w good stories bcs u play through them #ffxiv as an mmorpg. really fit so well with what i wanted. im really so happy #god i played a lot of board games as well when i was young n those smart wtvr stuff #n a lot of fps in gr 6 especially. n so much gacha games wtf n rhythm games n mobile mmos too #when i get interested in smth i really seek to learning as much of it as i can #i also watched sm anime back then 🫣 n i got into a lot of kpop grps back then too #in ffxiv i do most content. not quite rp yet tho. but i have rped in other places in the past LMFAOOO #thinking abt how i'm so weak for romantic stuff tho. suteki da ne... sob. i blame final fantasy for me being like this #the way i write is so filled with confusion. but also a gentle n strong love for life as a whole. n poems n stories n. longing #please pay me no mind rn i am Emotional n cringe but free #i am emotional rn n distracted n confused n a mess but at least i got that. thing out of my mind. i'll stress about it later

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noxtivagus · 3 years ago

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I LOVE FFXIV SM

#🌙.rambles #[ ffxiv. ]#help i'm rambling sm today #but oh man../ watching some 5.3 cutscenes in jpn w apollo just now #i rlly love the themes w raha #i honestly really relate w that as well. sigh .#the way color schemes rlly influence my fave charas tho 💀 so i'm more of an emet-selch liker ><#ffxiv... i love ffxiv so much #it's weird thinking abt how it's nearly been 2 years since i've started the game #;;; w that in mind it's also weird how all these things have happened in all this time #all the charas tho are so sadddd #i rmber how i cried in all those emet-selch cutscenes #yk the one in kholusia where he talks abt love n remembrance..... that look on his face. the pain in his voice. // we don't remember #i love azemet sm bcs w the wol it's also so sad #past lover stuff.... immortality n #thinking abt all the burdens hades had to carry for so long!!!! alone!!!! the burden of memories n tomorrows #emet-selch pre and post sundering is so sad .

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noxtivagus · 2 years ago

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ALPHINAUD'S SO CUTE 😭

#🌙.rambles #[ ffxiv. ]#i want to headpat him so badly. he's so adorable #oh dear i'm never gna shut up about this am i #i want to braid his hair 🥹🫶🏼#i think alphi wld look good in dresses. n skirts. T_T #i want to like. put flowers in his hair or smth :c #actually unfair alphi's so cute #i don't want that elezen growth spurt to ever happen alphi's so adorable 😭😭#i'm just. thinking of my fav charas again rn #i want to dote on them so badly i love them all so much #ffxiv wol lore.. hdajfslkdjfslkd #lmfao thinking about how yk aymeric's so busy :^) bro's just like me frfr #N I MISS HAURCHEFANT SO MUCH #n don't get me started on emet-selch & hermes oh dear #wait i'm trying to think of female characters help i just realized all those i've mentioned so far are yeah #GAIA & ZERO. MY FAVS #they're.. purple n emo.. 💀 gaia's so gay! i love her n ryne so much hdkafljdlkf #n zero pls i want to yk be her friend (or more) sorry i'm delusional. cringe too perhaps but 🥹

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noxtivagus · 3 years ago

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a night will never not be complete without me rambling abt ffxiv huh

#🌙.rambles #[ ffxiv. ]#i'm so happy i found smth like ffxiv for me n apollo. later in 2023 will be the third year of playing. which is a bit hard to believe #i'm so soft for the drk quests i did enjoy it in english or wtvr but reading those fanmade jpn translations rlly warms my heart even more #n then. uwahh listening to shb osts n other vg stuff rn n masquerade at this specific point just #eulmore ost means a lot to me i rlly love that kind of vibe n then. i have a lot of fond memories in that place.#w sm friends back on twintania n 5.5 days hehe.#i am srs rambling again but i just rlly like talking to myself ok pls don't mind me uhhhh #ffxiv helped keep me grounded yes it rlly helped me through hard times. w the world in it n then. the stories that helped me so much #n the music :<< n the charas mean so much to me n then. i just appreciate the game so much. it means a lot to me #thinking abt it n i've really never been good at friendships. i rlly do want to do better bcs i value them so much but hdfjalkfsjda T_T #i rmb fucking up smth late 2020 n then first half or so of 2021 i only interacted w my family n school ppl i think n. ppl in ffxiv #srs reflecting rn n for the longest time i think i genuinely rlly struggled w social anxiety. still do to an extent but it was sm worse #twintania n my fc then changed my life fr they helped me n i don't think i ever rlly directly thanked them but yh.#n then. those social interactions helped me later that year reconnecting w my longtime irl friends that i barely talked to for those past #years bcs of the pandemic n then earlier 2022 w making new friends that weren't online friends for the first time in so long #n then being more connected w my reality again w all that yes n then making more online friends. not a lot i'm still v shy but <3 #idk i know i rlly say a lot of the same things often n i write a Lot in tags n ramble sm n i genuinelly will be embarrassed if ppl actually #read this but pls i just like talking to myself i don't do it for attention T_T but I SHOULD REALLY FIX THESE STUFF UP #i think i've just been rambling for the past hour . idk i just really love n appreciate a lot of stuff in life n there's no end to what i #cld just write about like this to myself. n i write even more in my notes oh dear #i seriously look forward to so much this year i'm going to put my regrets behind me n just look towards doing the future #the best i can do is just be kind to myself n do what i can n do what i love uwahh #ok genuinely i still do feel rather stressed n anxious n i'm pretty sure i just wrote that earlier but uh my mind is a mess at this hour #i should not be on tumblr past midnight or when i'm sleepy . i've really made a habit of writing so much in tags #school starts like tmrrw now n thankfully my sleep got mostly fixed. i have so much more i want to do but i'll make sure to #take care of my health at least. for the past 2 weeks now i think i usually sleep around midnight (earlier typically) n never later than 3 #I'M HAPPY W THAT sleeping better rlly improved a lot but it's so hard to start making that change when. Yeah but here i am now <3 #that said though i'm gna stop. rambling now i wna be a bit more productive before i sleep but gn in advance ><

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noxtivagus · 2 years ago

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rambling in tags bcs today has been very lovely so far 🤍

I LOVE LITERATURE SO MUCH. MY FAV COURSE FR

#🌙.rambles #cont. bcs yk memories r eternal n far more important than #idk but my self-esteem deep down is strong enough that i really don't care abt those trivialities. i just want to be my authentic self #i'm rlly happy n proud of myself honestly bcs i make mistakes n i get anxious n wtvr but #deep down i know myself well n i cld ramble abt that forever but i do think. i really do love myself genuinely #like deep down. n knowing myself well like this n uh #other stuff i'm too. i can't explain it well rn but yk it's a bit lonely i don't know much ppl like me #most r either way older than me or are fictional or. my own twin. or yk w their mental health :c #i seem to relate well w neurodivergent ppl too in general i think #wait i'm so off-topic i really just think so much #BACK TO THE 1975 🥺 not sure how to say it to my dad n if i ever will but #one reason why i rlly like them is how sincere they are. they're intriguing n special. unique in the industry #their lyrics have so much humanity in them n #while a lot of music r like that. specifically why the 1975 is one of my fav bands is bcs #they're. mostly sincere. yk matty their vocal he's.. honest about being human n. deep stuff #n the whole band just seem like a bunch of good ppl at heart. none of us r perfect but i do think theyre 'good' ppl #for lack of better phrasing rn for what i specifically want to say bcs morality is so complex. i cld relate that to ffxiv rn #n several charas n 🫣 help i cld ramble on n on abt how life is just filled w sm #thinking of an article on matty earlier n i find articles interesting w. yk through the lens of the journalist n all #that just interests me so much too n fuck there's no end to what i want to learn n understand #i'm so excited for the concert. i'll do my best w other aspects of my life too.#n every time i make a mistake i really want to yk. not let it get me down too much. i really want to be so much better #i wore my hoodie the whole day yk maybe that helped w my confidence honestly 💀 WAHH IM SO HAPPY W TODAY ALRDY #even tho fucked up w a kahoot n my rank went down bcs of a stupid mistake over smth so easy but i wont think of it too much #just. a bit sad now compared to rlly sad earlier bcs i was first place too yk :^) n i'll be stressed for sure later w assignments but #i'll really do my best 🫶🏼 the only way through is forward.#n i'm not alone yk i always have apollo. i have my family. n then i have friends too 🥹#i rlly want to strengthen all my bonds tho yk n i'll work towards that by improving myself >:3 #just got back home n ended up telling my mom too abt my day n ;;;;#she.. she looked like she was gna cry. n then she said. 'ang galing mo anak' which i'm too emotional to translate rn

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