galan-thus-nivalis

[galan-thus-nivalis]

Harrison Wood Hsiang

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Art by Ziora

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The feeling of being high while hanging out with sober friends is red, and the feeling of being sober while hanging out with high friends is blue. Being a fairy is purple.

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That or I’m a paratherian fairy, which rhymes too well to rule out

I got that dog (archetrope flicker?) in me

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I got that dog (archetrope flicker?) in me

[galan-thus-nivalis]

Casually Exist

You know one of those days, where you just couldn't think more about anything, not even your identity. And that is okay. It doesn't always have to be something deep and profound, sometimes you can just be.

Remember how I say that alterhumanity is a experience? Yeah, it can be pretty amazing, to feel these sensations and have worlds that we get to know that are never known before to the larger society. And with how inspired we get, we create to express. But experience also includes just chilling in front of your screen, casually scrolling or doing something, while your tail gently flicks every now and then. "Just a dragon doing dragon thing" and all that. Because sometimes it is all writing essay and composing songs and weaving poetry. Sometimes it is just making small doodle that makes you happy, or cooking up some dish that reminds you of home, or maybe just to have a quiet walk in the place that most calls out to you.

Take care of yourselves out there folks, love yourselves, enjoy being yourselves. Be your authentic selves!

[galan-thus-nivalis]

I never consented to this mundanity

Quick disclaimer: if this is the first time you see me, welcome! This essay discusses a concept that I coined, known as alterreality. You can read more about it here. If you have any further questions about it, please send me an email. I would love to hear from yall.. 

How many of your favourite Dungeons and Dragons sessions had their hero picking out a phone plan? How about going to the grocery store? I’d give more examples, but you get the idea. You would think that by now, after alterreality is more established, I would have dreamed that I, out of anyone, would have a solution on how to turn these things into an epic quest. While I am working on these answers as we speak, more often than not, I  am the victim of these situations. I would call this essay something generic, like “factors that may get in the way of alterreality,"  but the title I chose rings some sort of truth to me. Although we technically have free will (extistentialist theories nonwithstanding), there is so much boring crap in life that just needs to get done. While this mundanity corresponds with how many individuals see the world, it very much does not gel with the “magical girl/fantasy hero” alterreality that I have constructed for myself. With this, here are some limits that I have found when practicing alterreality.

The biggest limit that I have come across is other people. It's very hard to believe that a grocery store is actually an infested dungeon when someone else is there with you, telling you their shopping list every five seconds. It feels the same as that one guy who loves to remind you that wrestling is fake (note for future writing: wrestling is alterreality!). Yes, I know where I actually am, but let me add whimsy, goddamnit! A smaller nitpick, but when others are around you, it becomes much harder to listen to your music, an essential component of immersion for me. Apparently, when others are with you, you have to engage in conversation with them? I know, wild stuff! This, however, does go two ways! If you happen to find someone else who wishes to participate in alterreality with you (I have yet to find this), then your immersion would skyrocket. I could not be any more thankful to everyone online who validated my experiences, and if (and hopefully when!) I meet even one of you in physical space and you would wish to participate in alterreality with me, I would be more than happy for you to join my adventure. 

Another limit that I have found is the cognitive limit. I have discussed this with others before; however, it is very hard to be both immersed in a given story to the point of belief and complete a cognitively draining task at the same time. Personally, I was working on a project while performing alterreality recently. Everything was going smoothly until I encountered a technical error in which I felt kicked out of my personal reality and back into my regular, mundane existence. I plan on experimenting with preparing an alternate reality beforehand, focusing on the task at hand, then returning to my true reality after; however, I would love a solution that would be more immersive in the moment. 

My third limitation that I would like to bring up is the unpredictable nature of reality. You could plan a perfect hero journey circle, but all social reality can give you is a confusing mess of hero(?) spaghetti. If the event that you were planning on creating the final battle over got cancelled, not much can be done but shrug and throw in the towel. As well, conversations in reality do not pan out the way they do in a story. I am still holding on to the conversation about pottery I had with my friends and a random museum worker, thinking that it has to be important for some quests coming up. Meat reality has many, many beautiful things. However, more often than not, it becomes a monkey wrench in my imagination. 

I did think of one solution to many of these problems. One factor that I think would fix a lot is if modern designers cared more about wonder and whimsy. To put it simply, there are too many Costcos and not enough castles. I’m not saying there should be cathedrals on every block (my city is messed up as it is and does not need the Catholic Church adding to the list of problems). However, I am saying that if you are going to design a place with a lot of foot traffic, it should both serve as fun and imagination fuel. This being said, this does not solve the social aspect. There will always be scenarios where one must maintain a mask of munanity in order to go about day-to-day life. There will always be situations that are too cognitively difficult to create a reality over. There will always be boredom. I may not have consented to this mundanity, but my hope is that I will forge an alterreality for myself that will transcend the physical world, and my life will become a true fantastical adventure.

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no idea how relatable this is gonna be to the general public but stim toys arent enough anymore i gotta stick to the walls

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It’d be so good if the term were Anthropothere wouldn’t it

A big part of the human identity that alterhumanity is often in response to/conflict with is non-identification with animality. A technical recognition that Homo sapiens is an animal species, but a deeper feeling that humans aren't Animals™, are Different in some ineffable way.

So, is there an alterhuman term for identifying as an animal because of one's humanity? Like, all the animalistic experiences and sense of self of therianthropy, but stemming from being human. Wholesale rejecting/not even feeling that separation from the rest of the animal kingdom, just, being a human animal in a way that bucks with the normal conception of "Humanity."

Cause like, I'm not sure it describes me fully or at all, but I'll coin a term for it if there isn't one.

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As alterhumans, nonhumans, otherkin, therians, plantkin, etc. I feel as if it is not said enough that it is okay to identify as human!

Most of us bodily are human, so there is some level where our humanity dictates our identity. And that is okay! You can act human, identify as human, and also identify as a nonhuman being!

Fictionkin are a huge part of our spaces, and though we focus on our animalisticness a lot, they deserve recognition and respect! Whether human or any other species or non-species. Many though, are human or human adjacent. And that is amazing!

Some nonhumans feel their kintype is the “real them” below the surface. But others feel there is more balance in their physical to nonphysical identities, they are human and also their kintype, this form is just as important as any other.

Maybe they are a werewolf (cough cough) who has a human form as well as a wolf form! (or a were-creature at least)

There are MANY reasons why a nonhuman being may identify as human on one level or another, and this should be more respected and talked about in nonhuman communities! Let’s have widespread acceptance and discussion of all sorts of beings with all sorts of identities! You are loved and respected!

Happy howling!

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Friendly reminder that someone experiencing nonhumanity or alterhumanity differently from you doesn't mean they're faking and it doesn't mean you are either.

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A big part of the human identity that alterhumanity is often in response to/conflict with is non-identification with animality. A technical recognition that Homo sapiens is an animal species, but a deeper feeling that humans aren't Animals™, are Different in some ineffable way.

So, is there an alterhuman term for identifying as an animal because of one's humanity? Like, all the animalistic experiences and sense of self of therianthropy, but stemming from being human. Wholesale rejecting/not even feeling that separation from the rest of the animal kingdom, just, being a human animal in a way that bucks with the normal conception of "Humanity."

Cause like, I'm not sure it describes me fully or at all, but I'll coin a term for it if there isn't one.

[galan-thus-nivalis]

It’s why I’m so glad eufairia/dysfairia works as a pun. Like come on that’s perfect.

There’s something weird about calling it species euphoria/dysphoria for me? Not the euphoria/dysphoria part, but the species part. Like, yes, fairies aren’t humans, but I’m not convinced “species” is the right word for it. We’re just different beings. The taxonomic tree is something we perch on and make little burrows in. I shapeshift, that thing is my playground. It’s not about species, it’s about flight and fire and dreaming. It’s about lil fuckin antlers that I can tussle with. Species is a convenient shorthand but it’s just kinda to the left of what I feel ya know.

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Some humans will straight up call things that verifiably materially occurred "not real life" and then balk when I call myself a real fairy

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There’s something weird about calling it species euphoria/dysphoria for me? Not the euphoria/dysphoria part, but the species part. Like, yes, fairies aren’t humans, but I’m not convinced “species” is the right word for it. We’re just different beings. The taxonomic tree is something we perch on and make little burrows in. I shapeshift, that thing is my playground. It’s not about species, it’s about flight and fire and dreaming. It’s about lil fuckin antlers that I can tussle with. Species is a convenient shorthand but it’s just kinda to the left of what I feel ya know.

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Nonhuman expressions of affection are great. Purring. Exposing weak points as a show of trust. Head bonks. Preening and chewing. Nuzzling. Biting. Intertwining tails. Feeding each other. Little chuffs, chatters, beeps and squeaks. Fluffing up of feathers, fur or other things. Dancing to impress. Cleaning their fur, scales, feathers or skin. Sharing body heat. Ears pointing toward those you care about to show your full attention is on them. Slow blinking.

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I’m a fairy because the story of “fairy in the human realm” is a helpful tool for me when it comes to interfacing with the world. I’m a shapeshifter made of colored light in a way that often, but not always, feels fey. I’m the first of those things for psychological reasons and the second for spiritual reasons, and they’re the same thing. I’m a human fairy. I might not be either of those things all the time. I might be cambikin or quoiluntary or erstian or something, I dunno.

I’ve been feeling out of touch with my fey side in a very anxious way lately; as soon as I let this click for me, I started getting emotional and phantom shifts again.

Guys there is literally no one to prove the extent of your identity to. Not the alterhuman community, not your human friends, not yourself. When you feel out of touch with your alterhumanity and start doubting whether or not you really “count” as what you are, that is probably when you most need to not be giving a shit about it. The feelings will come back online because you stopped forcing them to be a badge.