#hellucard is a uh.. yeah..

[cosm1cbrownie]

my personal eddsworld character + ship tier list this is targeted (mostly) edit: if it was there, would have put eduardojon or eduardomark in the “h a t e” section. final edit: the only thing i would change is the ell, tamar, matilda, and ones, i'd put them where tori is and eduardo would rpoabbly go where legacy tord is ewijtieuright

[wereallsaloonaticshere]

001 | for Eddsworld itself

Favorite character: All variations of Edd. He’s very versatile, because people write him as bubbly and quirky, as edgy and teasing, as childish and kind to his friends and his friends alone, etc etc. And you can do that reasonably because Edd has kinda weird characterization in the series, so you can basically do whatever you want, and pretty quickly make a character so far removed from canon that you just. Make him your oc. (which is what i did lol)

Least Favorite character: Mark, just because he doesn’t have that many lines, and it’s sort of the same situation that Edd has, but unlike Edd where his characterization shifts depending on the episode, Mark just doesn’t have any characterization at all. So it’s all the freedom of making it up as you go, but no, like...checkpoints? Nothing to tether you to anything? It’s like going on random name generator and trying to make a character from just that.You can only really assume his character based off his friends, but...it’s just not really as much fun. (I say this as if I don’t have long intricate hcs for fucking Marco for fucks sake).

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Uh, I don’t really dislike any of them. I guess maybe milkman x hellucard, since both of them aren’t really noticed by Edd like they wish they were, so they both get with each other to “make Edd jealous”. then they grow frustrated that it’s not making Edd jealous, so they try to do that thing where they fall for each other instead, but then they realize they actually don’t like each other all that much and break up and go back to what they were doing before.

Character I find most attractive: I guess Eduardo, since I’m lowkey jealous of him for having facial hair. 

Character I would marry: Jon. I feel like he’d be nice enough. But really I don’t have anyone. 

Character I would be best friends with: I feel like if I had met Eduardo and the crew in high school we would’ve been friends, you know? Like I’m the new kid in town and they think I’m kinda annoying but we have something in common so we might as well keep hanging out. Then something happens and I have to open up about {redacted} and then Eduardo talks about being {redacted} and yeah we grow closer, in a way that isn’t, like, stronger than Jon and Mark, but pretty good. I think I’d find Mark to be annoying and pretentious, and Jon to be too much of a yes man. I’d bully him into dressing scene for a few days I think.

 I feel like something similar would happen with Edd and his crew, but I feel like I’d be too happy for them? I naturally smile a lot, so I feel like they’d kinda hate me. But Edd and I would probably like each others art.

 But anyways yeah if I met them now as a teen while they’re adults none of use would get along. 

A random thought: I’m worried about this all getting deleted before I have the chance to fucking post it. oh yeah also is mark being gay technically canon? like yeah he was near a gay pride flag in a comic strip but like...he wasn’t shown actually holding it? the flag was just in a place where it’d make sense for him to be holding it if he was? idk. i like the hc that hes gay i just don’t think it’s canon.

An unpopular opinion: uhh the thing i just wrote about mark. also jon is the softboy i wanted to be like in 7th grade that made everyone think i was a trender

My canon OTP: Eduardo and Laurel

Non-canon OTP: Eduardo and Jon / Edward and Thompson

Most badass character: Tord even though thats the obvious answer. i mean he shoots people for fun how much more badass do you get? i also wanted to be like him in 7th. a softboy flower crown twink who was always drenched in blood with a body count in the trillions.

Pairing I am not a fan of: eduardoxmark

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): all of them? none of them have great characterization. but especially tord, for more obvious reasons. (the end and shit)

Favourite friendship: matt and jon, i guess. jon and mark too.

[lbat1901]

Eddsworld: At World's End Chapter 8

Old School Reunion - (Chapter 8) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Both Edd and Matt were on the couch watching tv till the door to the apartment suddenly swung open which got their attention. "Edd! Matt! I've found something that you won't believe" said Tom. "What?" asked Edd. Tom quickly rushes over to them while carrying a folder. "I...I was just walking till I stumbled across Durdam Lane" said Tom as he was trying to catch his breath. "You were? How come you didn't tell us?" asked Matt. "Tell you? Why would I- forget it. I found Tony's house and I tried knocking on his door only to realize he wasn't there. I found an open window, climbed through, and got into his house" said Tom. "Wait...did you just break into someone's house? Tom, you do realize that's illegal right? You could've been caught by the police" said Edd. "I know, I know, I know, but that's not the point. I walked in his house till I found a room which was his office room and I found something completely shocking. I found out that Tony isn't all that innocent and that he's hiding a dark secret" said Tom. "Really? What's the secret?" asked Matt. "I found out that Tony is a leader of an army and he's a communist" said Tom. What Tom didn't expect next was that both Edd and Matt suddenly burst out in laughter. "Why are you two laughing?" asked Tom as he couldn't believe what he was seeing. "Tony's a communist? That's so ridiculous" laughed Edd. "I have no idea why I'm laughing, but this is just so hilarious" laughed Matt. "What? I'm being serious here!" said Tom. "Tom, I know that you can't seem to trust Tony, but you can't just make something like this up. There is no way that Tony can be a communist" said Edd. "But....but.....I'm telling the- you know what, fine. I tried to tell you, but if you're not going to believe me then, I'll find a way to prove it myself" said Tom before walking towards the door. As Tom was about to leave he was greeted by two familiar men dressed in uniforms. "Uh, can I help you two?" asked Tom. "Uh...umm....ah......let's see here....." said Paul while looking at a piece of paper that had pictures of Edd, Matt, and Tom on it. "Give me that!" said Patryck as he snatched the paper out of Paul's hands. "Eh....sorry about that. We were just walking down the neighborhood till we came by here and do you mind if we ask one question?" asked Patryck. "Sure, whatever. What do you what?" asked Tom. "Are you by any chance Tom?" asked Patryck. "Uh yeah, that's me" said Tom. Both Paul and Patryck looked at each other as Patryck gave Paul a slight nod before the two looked back at Tom. "What's with the looks? Did I do something wrong?" asked Tom. "No, just get in the body bag" said Paul while getting out a body bag. "Oh....wait....what!? Oh my GOD!!! THEY HAVE BODY BAGS NO!!" screamed Tom before getting covered up in a body bag. Both Paul and Patryck went inside the apartment to find both Edd and Matt on the couch before going up behind them and put them in body bags. "WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME!? I'M TOO BEAUTIFUL TO BE PUT IN A BODY BAG!!!" screamed Matt as he was being dragged by Paul. "Get your hands off me you fiend!!!" yelled Edd as he was being dragged by Patryck. Paul and Patryck threw Edd, Matt, and Tom in the back of a van before closing the doors. "Well that went smoothly as I thought it would" said Paul. "Paul how could you say that when you didn't know what Tom looked like?" asked Patryck. "I don't know. They all the look the same to me" said Paul. "Look the- never mind. Let's just get out of here" said Patryck. ~At The Red Army Base~ "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god......it's so dark. Where am I? How long has it been? What year is it?" asked Matt before a blindfold was removed from his eyes. "Relax, it's only been like 30 minutes" said Tom. "Just where are we?" asked Edd. Matt walks up and touches something metallic before gently rubbing it. "We seem to be trapped in some strange force of psychic energy" said Matt. "No, we're not. We're in a cell" said Tom. "Gahhh! Whoever put us in here is so going to pay!!!" yelled Eduardo. "Wait....Eduardo....?" asked Edd as he got a better close to see Eduardo and his gang trapped behind a different cell across from them. "Oh cheer up Eduardo, it's not all bad" said Jon. "Not bad!? It is bad Jon! We're in a frickin' cell!" yelled Eduardo. "Hey! Leave him alone Eduardo! What did he do to you?" said Edd. "Huh? Hehe....well isn't our lovely neighbors Edd....and his friends. Fancy seeing you three here" said Eduardo. "Yeah it is. What are you guys doing here?" asked Tom. "How we supposed to know? We were here way before you" said Mark. "Yeah and I was somehow brought here too for no reason" said Todd. "Oh.....ey Head" said Hellucard who was standing next to Todd. "Todd? Some random guy who seems to get my name wrong every time he sees me? Look.....do you know who kidnapped us?" asked Edd. "Unfortunately we don't. All I remember was that Jon here just randomly opened the door" said Eduardo. "Opened the door? Wait, I did same thing but I was only leaving till I was stopped by two men who seem to be soldiers. One of them had a scar over there right eye while the other seemed a little bit smarter" said Tom. "Aw someone recalls seeing us. How cute" said Paul. "We hate to break up this friendly reunion, but we got orders from the boss. He wants to see you three" said Patryck. "Well I hope he's happy, because I'm just about ready to break these bars wide open" growled Edd. Paul walks over as Edd, Matt, and Tom braced themselves only to see that Paul took out a key and used it to unlock the cell door. "Are you three coming or what?" asked Paul. Edd, Matt, and Tom slowly walked out of the cell and followed both Paul and Patryck out of the room. "Hey! What about us? You can't leave me here with these idiots!" yelled out Eduardo to the void. After a few minutes of walking, Paul and Patryck lead the three prisoners to a large room which appears to be very decorated before forcefully making them kneel on their knees. "That was a bit mean" whined Matt. "Who cares? I just want this day to end already" said Tom. "Oh Tom, you've always been just so uncaring" said Tord. "Wait....it can't be" said Edd who recognized the voice. "Of course it is Edd, I was waiting forever to see you again" said Tord as he swung his chair around before getting up and walking towards his old friends. "What the?" asked Tom who couldn't believe what he was seeing. "Tord, you're alive. This..this is so incredible" said Edd in amazement. "Heh, longtime no seen old friends" said Tord with a smile. "Hold on for just a minute, how are you still alive? I thought you'd died once your robot exploded" said Tom. "Oh Tom, I thought the same exact thing as you did, but I was lucky to survive only with these burn marks on my face" said Tord while showing off the scorches on his face. "Ew.......so disgusting" said Matt who was a bit disturbed to see the burn marks on the right side of Tord's face. "So anyway this has been great to see you but we're kinda busy" said Edd. "I understand that, but this is important. So important that I need to be alone with Tom. Paul and Patryck, please take both Edd and Matt out here" said Tord. "So those are your names. How nice to know" said Matt. Paul and Patryck took Edd and Matt out of the room leaving Tom alone with Tord. "How has the Jehovah's Witness been doing?" asked Tord. "What do you want, commie?" asked Tom with an unamused tone. "Oh I just wanted to check up on one of my friends that's all" said Tord. "I said this before and I can say it again, I am not your friend" said Tom. "Tom, I know you don't like me but please just hear me out" said Tord. "Yeah, yeah, can you make it quick? I need to get back to something" said Tom. "That's exactly what I wanted to talk about....and.....do you know anything about the Black Leader?" asked Tord. Tom's eyes suddenly widen upon hearing what Tord just said. "I have a feeling that you do" said Tord. "Yeah I do. There's something fishy going on here that doesn't add up. What are you up to?" asked Tom. "Nothing really. It's just that I recently gotten a report about him and decided to do some research. The Black Leader's real identity is Anthony von Rudolph and he's a cult leader" said Tord. "Cult leader? The last time I checked, he's actually a communist just like you" said Tom. "Does a guy who plans on draining the earth of its natural resources while leading a group of infamous gangs is considered to be a communist?" asked Tord. "Well no but- wait....he's planning to drain the earth out of its resources? I knew that there was something going on" said Tom. "Exactly. Where did you get your information from?" asked Tord. "I uhh....went back to Durdam Lane and found Tony's house. I went inside and got these" said Tom as he got out the folder containing all the pictures. Tord takes the folder before looking inside to see each picture. "I see. Did you mention this to anyone?" asked Tord. "I've told both Edd and Matt, yet they wouldn't believe me" said Tom. "I guess they'll have to learn it the hard way" said Tord. "Well not both of them, it's just Matt who thinks that there's nothing wrong with Tony" said Tom. "To be honest, Matt doesn't understand who he's actually dealing with" said Tord. Then Paul and Patryck unexpectedly suddenly came into the room. "Paul and Patryck, do you care to explain why you just barged in here?" asked Tord. "Uhh.........yeah......hehe....about that...." said Patryck nervously. "We....have a problem" added Paul. "Problem? What is it?" asked Tord. "Let me guess, Edd and Matt distracted you two and got away?" asked Tom. "Uhh....nooooooo...ehh...yes they did" said Paul. "How could you let two people distract you that easily?" asked Tord. "I wouldn't say that they distracted us, it's that Paul wanted a milkshake" said Patryck. "I-I....that didn't happen!" yelled Paul. "Oh yes it did Paul!" yelled back Patryck. "Both of you two shut up! Even if they had escaped, we're able to track them down with a special drone" said Tord.

[silenthilllz]

Talking with Death

oof i dont know what this is, im sorry.

Hellucard drummed his fingers on his leg, humming ‘Ring around the Rosie’ He seemed to be thinking about something. He moved his head slowly from side to side as he began to sing softly under his breath.

“Ring around the rosy, Pocket full of posies, Ashes, ashes, we all fall down...”

He looked outside of the clear windows, gazing at the rain drops trickling down the glass. The window felt cool to his skin, a feeling he liked alot. He couldn’t feel alot these days considering what happened to him, but he was ok with it. He leaned back into the Amaranth colored seats with ease, resting his arms behind his head.

“Ring around the rosy, Pocket full of posies, Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.”

Tapping his foot on the ground he waited for someone. “I wonder when I’m going to get a guest. It should happen any time now.” He muttered underneath his breath as he closed his eyes for a minute. Slow instrumental music began to play through the back of the limousine. He picked it up from a video game one of his friends played, and he liked the sound of it. It was called “Beneath the Mask”.

“Ashes to ashes, we all fall do-” 

Before he could finish the last line, a bright light engulfed the back of the car right in front of him. Glad that he had closed his eyes beforehand, he smiled as he waited for the light to die down so he could open his honey colored eyes. “Finally.”

Once the light died down, everything was back to normal except the disheveled man sitting in the seat in front of Hellucard. He looked alarmed and started panicking. “W-Where am I?”

Hellucard finally opened his eyes and smiled excitedly at the newcomer in his limo. “Hey there buddy!” He noticed the newcomer stopping to look straight at him in fear. Hellucard’s eyes looked all over the man in front of him. 

The man had short brown hair that was matted and messed up with mud, his eyes were a stone cold gray color, his skin was a bit pale due to his unfortunate circumstances, and he was a bit scruffy. His black trench coat was soaked and coated with mud at the tips, and his red sweater was sticking to his body tightly as a certain spot was stained a deep dark red. The man didnt seem to notice his stomach was bleeding.

Hellucard chuckled. “Cat got your tongue? Dont worry. I don’t bite!” Leaning forward, he rested his elbows on his knees and put his head into his hands. He waited for the man to collect his thoughts and form words in his brain. This was completely normal for everyone who appeared in his limo. He grew to have patience for these unfortunate souls. It was his job after all.

Once the man calmed down and took deep breaths, he cleared his throat. “Where am I and who are you?” He looked around the inside of the vehicle in caution, flitting his eyes back and forth to Hellucard every so often. 

“You are in my limousine, well its actually kinda my work office. And I am called Hellucard by my friends and family, but mostly.. everyone else calls me Death.” Hellucard chuckled, leaning closer to the man. “And your name is Pau Visser right? Nice to meet you.”

The man, now known as Pau, looked at Hellucard in fear. “How did you know my name?”

“I told you, I’m Death. I know everyone who happens to die in this world, usually my underlings take care of people who die, but I sometimes get people in my office like yourself. I’m actually happy, I haven’t had someone in a long time. And you see,” He watched as Pau’s eyes widened in fear and his breathing quickened. Hellucard smirked, “I think you are quite fascinating to be honest. I know what you did when you were alive. You were a solider in an army.”

Pau leaned back as far as he could, trying to get away from the man before him. To be honest, Pau could of actually hurt this man before him. He looked smaller than himself and was scrawny, but there was a dangerous air around him. The glint in his eyes made him seem different. “H-How... Wait... what do you mean by ‘when i was alive’?” 

“You died in a car accident. Your jeep fell down a cliff and a piece of the vehicle sliced through your stomach, impaling you. Your friends, however, are alive and I guess they left you there because they thought you were already dead.” Hellucard mused. “Such shitty friends I guess, I think you would of survived if they actually tried to help you. A very slim chance of survival, but it was still a chance at life.” Hellucard scrolled through a tablet that just appeared out of his hands as he turned it over to show Pau his death certificate.

Pau stared hard at the tablet, reading the words that seemed to confirm what Hellucard had told him. “I’m dead...?” He looked down at his stomach, finally noticing that he had been bleeding. But oddly, he didn’t feel it. Must be because he was dead. He touched the damp red part and looked back at his fingers. “So.. I’m really dead?”

“Yep! But not worry my dear man!” Hellucard abruptly stated as the tablet vanished from his hands. He sat next to Pau and slung his arm around Pau’s shoulders as best he could. “You see, I’ve taken a fancy to ya! Not like, romantically, maybe, but like as in I like how you work! So, I’ll strike a deal with you.”

Pau leaned away from the man as best he could before being pulled back towards Hellucard by some unknown force. “A deal?”

Hellucard’s eyes twinkled. “Yeah! A deal!” He leaned into Pau, smiling brightly at the man. “If you work for me, as my top right hand man, I’ll bring you back to life! Well you wont be fully alive, you’ll still be dead, but at least you’ll pass as a living being instead of a bleeding corpse...” He trailed off, looking at Pau’s stomach wound. He poked Pau’s stomach wound.

“Stop.” Pau slapped Hellucard’s finger away from his wound. It didn’t hurt, but it felt weird for someone to touch it.

Hellucard pouted but quickly regained his excitement. “So what do you say? You wanna work for me?”

Pau looked at the man before him. He acted like a hyperactive puppy with how he jumped about. He wasn’t human thats for sure, considering how he could make things appear out of nowhere. He was inhuman alright with that odd aura around him. “uh... sure? I mean, I have nothing to do since I’m dead. What am I supposed to do?”

Hellucard smiled widely and just straight up hugged Pau. “Yes! I finally have a strong underling! Oh, you’ll just be killing people. Well killing the ones who dont wanna come down here when their time is up.” Hellucard leaned in close to Pau, “You won’t regret this!”

[eddstreet-askblog-deactivat-blog]

Trouble

After getting knocked out with sleeping gas, Hellucard gets kidnapped by two mysterious men. Without anyone even knowing his whereabouts, or even caring, things could get uglier fast.

Warning: mild violence

Hellucard’s head swam as he came into consciousness. His concern grew as his vision didn’t clear. Everything was so dark… He was moving… Hellucard felt his nose itch and realized there was a burlap sack over his head. He swallowed as he slowly realized what was going on. He tried to move his hands and sure enough, they were bound.

‘Okay…no need to panic…! I’m sure this is just some sort of misunderstanding… My payments aren’t due for..! …oh no…’

Hellucard began to squirm and immediately stopped, feeling a thick, heavy hand on his neck. Oh, this was not good.

“Easy there tiny~”  His gruff voice pierced the silent atmosphere. The man chuckled and hellucard found himself feeling the vibrations of his hefty voice. He shuddered, turning his head away as his captors warm breath brushed against his ear through the burlap sack. “Wouldn’t want to get knocked out again..”

Hellucards heart pounded fiercely in his chest. Without knowing which group of criminals had kidnapped him, he couldn’t tell if he was in immediate danger. Sure, being kidnapped in itself was a red flag but when the car happened to stop, there was more than one way that things could go. Finding out which path he would take was of utmost importance right about now…

‘I was already passed out when I awoke in the car… so there’s no way for me to tell how far away from the bar I am…’

“L-listen, if this is about the money i owe you-”

“You’re damn right it is shrimp. Boss has had enough of your promises to pay him back. It’s time for you to make good of your I.O.U.’s.” The men both laughed and it rattled hellucard right to his bones. He had every intention of paying them all back! Just… right after he was done enjoying being rich..!

“Guys come on..! You know me..!” ‘I think..’ he thought, “Of course I’m going to pay the boss back..! In fact, I was right in the middle of writing out his check before you kidnapped me!”

“Sure you were, hellucard.” A chilling voice broke through the air and hellucard froze, knowing all too well who the speaker was. The boss’ right hand man…

“S..Saul?” Hellucard stuttered. He hadn’t even noticed that the vehicle had stopped. Hadn’t even heard the passenger door open…

“Get him out.”

“Move it scrub.” Hellucard felt himself being shoved forward, the wind almost being knocked out of him completely. Stumbling as he made it out of the car, he immediately felt the cold air. So it was near nightfall then… the temperature always dropped at sunset…

‘If it was about 4:30 when i fell asleep… and these guys must have been watching me for their opportunity to… then…’

He was a long way from the city.

The two bodyguards, as he was now sure they were, guided him through what he presumed to be a building. Hellucard noted the sound of broken pipes leaking, and footsteps echoing.

‘Abandoned building…?’

“Seems a little cliche don’t you think?”

“I don’t recall giving you the right to speak.”

For a while, they walked silently. He didn’t dare utter another word until he was absolutely sure of what was going on. And if he happened to be right, keeping his mouth shut would be the best course of action.

“Sit him down and adjust his ties. The boss will be here in a second. And take that thing off his head.”

“Right.” Hellucard heard Saul walk away as the guards pushed him down and manhandled him, untying and retying knots to attach him to the chair he sat in. His head swam at the sight of the bright light when they removed the sack from his head. A slight ringing in his ears began and he was sure he’d throw up due to sensory overload.

“Hgh…”

“Aww, is helly a little sensitive? The light to bright for ya?” Michael. He should have known.

“Well don’t worry… We’re gonna knock your lights out soon enough…” the large men chuckled as they cracked their knuckles. If that was Michael, then this must be…

“Ajax. That’s enough.”

Both men stepped back and stood at attention, bordering hellucard from either side. Looking up, he knew that he was in more trouble than he had anticipated. The tall dark haired man was shadowed by the contrast of the light behind him, his face barely visible and yet he knew exactly who it was. The jet black suit, slicked back hair, sickly intoxicating aroma of his cologne…

“Cain…”

“Hellucard. A pleasure to see you again, my dear.” His deep, sultry voice cut through the air like a knife, making hellucard go stiff as a board. He broke into a cold sweat as Cain walked towards him, motioning his men to guard the doors. “You’ve been avoiding me…”

“A..Absolutely not!! I was just…uh..busy…?” A small terrified laugh left him. He knew he should have repaid everyone back as soon as possible… He knew this would happen… Why did he always let greed get the better of him…?

“Heheh… Of course you were… busy enjoying life’s luxuries, hm? In your mansion… drinking aged wine with caviar… while bathing in your Olympic sized indoor pool… How could you ever find the time to visit and pay me back..?” Cain was just centimeters away from hellucards face,  each word he whispered dripping with venom.  “But.. it’s a good thing for us that we grabbed you before Lars did…”

“L..Lars is looking for me…?” Cain gave a sinister chuckle, finding pure amusement in the canadians fear.

“Well of course he is!”

“Who…Who else is..?” A panic was slowly creeping up on him.

“Oh, love. Who ISN’T looking for you? You were quite the busy bee, borrowing money from all those people… Claiming you were a poor mouse with not a crumb in your pocket… when in reality by the time you got to the Cherry Sisters, you were already pulling in a six figure income…”

“O..oh, that… Well I-!”

“I don’t much care to hear it. You’re here to repay MY debt, not theirs.”

“Ah! YEAH! U..uh.. About that,”

“Don’t tell me… you’re going to pay me back soon? In a day? A week? A month?” Cain taunted. “I’ve had just about enough of your empty promises… My patience is running thin…”

“I already told you I’m going to pay you back!!” hellucard snarled. “So let me go and-!!”

In an instant, he was falling back and grabbed by his collar. His vision blurred again and the ringing was louder than before. A burning, stinging sensation settled on his right cheek and hellucard realized he’d been punched. He felt a cold sharp object up against his neck and tried to focus his eyes to see what was going on. Cain was grabbing his collar to keep him at an angle and holding a knife to his neck…

“Listen here you little runt…” Being this close, hellucard could smell the cigar smoke on his boss’ breath. Though it was inherently strong, the smell didn’t stick to his suit. It still had the sickeningly sweet aroma of some cologne he couldn’t quite identify. “The ONLY reason you’re still alive is because of the amount of money I’ll get from you loan with interest…And although i would rather not lose it all, I have no problem with killing you… So unless you want me to decapitate you right now…This is how things are going to go…You’re going to sell everything you have until you come up with enough money to pay me back in full.”

“E…everything…?”

“Everything. Your cars, your electronics, your jet, designer clothing. Your mansions if it comes down to it. Yes, I know about your places in France and Canada. Every single thing until you come up with MY money.”

Hellucard looked down unable to maintain eye contact as he thought about what that actually meant. He wouldn’t be able to do everything he promised… If paying back Cain was practically leaving him homeless, how would he be able to give Mark everything he wanted? On top of that, if what Cain said was true, then it wouldn’t be long before everyone else found him and demanded their money back.

There was no other way around it…

“Okay… I-I’m… I’m going to get your money back… I swear…”

“You have one week.” Hellucard nodded and screamed bloody murder. Cain twisted the knife he stuck in his thigh, digging it in deeper before yanking it out. “Let that serve as a reminder. Get him out of my sight.”

Michael and Ajax put the burlap sack back over his head and grabbed Hellucard, chair and all, carrying him out. He grunted as they threw him on his back into the car, wishing they had at least been careful with his wound. The car ride to their next stop wasn’t long, which made Hellucard worry. They were certainly nowhere near his home or bar..

Hellucard tried to move around, but his injury and chair made it difficult. Maybe he could ask them for help. But… the two had been awfully quiet… In fact, wasn’t sure if they were even there. “G…guys? Where-?” The next thing he knew, he was on the ground, gasping for breath and wishing for death. The heavy blow to his gut made him want to curl up , but he remained in the sitting position the chair imposed on him.

The burlap sack was removed from his face and he began coughing, struggling to keep consciousness. That blow was so precise… Before he could identify his assaulter, that was most certainly NOT Cain’s men, he was kicked across the face repeatedly. Hellucard wanted to crawl back but found himself unable to even move, being forced to just lay there and take each strike as it came.

One more blow and everything stopped, the assailant giving hellucard a chance to breathe. “P, please, pLEASE!! D, don’t… n-no more … i cant..” he gasped, head swimming. He couldn’t even tell which way was up anymore. Couldn’t tell if he was looking at the night sky or if he’d lost his vision.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t shoot you dead.” The voice sounded feminine… oh dear god no..

“C…Cain..” he wheezed.

The Cherry sister muttered something under her breath and put away her gun.

‘Guess Cain wanting me alive for the next week was a good enough reason…’

“Well if you already talked to Cain, then you know what I’m about to tell you.”

“Y, you want… your money..” Of course he knew…

“Tout de suite.” The Cherry demanded.

“Yeah… yeah i got… i got the concept…” Hellucard coughed, blood splattering on the ground. “As soon as I get home… I’m going to.. Mnh… pay you all back… ugh, fuck, cherry… you almost killed me…”

“That was the point, idiot.”

“Can you just… send me home so i can… tend to my injuries and get everyone’s..m..money…?” 37 deadly blows to the skull was about all hellucard could handle at the moment. If he were even to lightly bump his head, he was sure he’d drop dead.

He cringed as Cherry laughed maniacally. So that was a no, then. “You think me and Cain are the only ones with a bone to pick? I’m sure you’ve heard Lars is looking for you. Paid me off to bring him to you after I was done.”

“W, wh, what?? No… n, no, cherry, PLEASE. He’ll kill me for sure!! I-I cant take anymore-!”

“TOO FUCKING BAD. You should have thought of that before you tried to con all of us and my sister out of our money!! You have a week.”

“B-but Cain wants his money in a week! I’m not going to be able to pay you all back at the same time!! The interest on the loan means that-”

“I. Don’t. Care. Figure it out.”

“C, can you just talk with Cherry Blossom and work something else out!?”

‘If she wanted to negotiate or even talk to you, she wouldn’t have sent Cherry Bomb…’

“Don’t ask questions you already know the answer to. It’s annoying and wastes my time. Just get. My. Money.”

“BUT-”

Cherry kicked him again and Hellucard knocked out. For the next few hours, the process was the same. He’d wake up in a different location from before, get intimidated as people demanded their money, and get knocked back out to be moved to the next patron’s location.

By the time he reached the end of the line of people who wanted him dead, hellucard could barely even stand. He’d been pushed, shoved, punched, kicked, slapped, kneed, cut, burnt, stabbed, crammed into the trunk of cars. The list went on.

Once again, he was driven to a random location and carelessly dropped off. For a while, hellucard just lay there, clothes tattered, bloody, and bruised, waiting for someone to come and drag him off. But after no one came, he figured they must finally be done. It was hard to keep track of everything when he could hardly keep his vision with him long enough… His face felt numb… The cold air helped to soothe his burning body as he laid on his back, staring up and wishing that what he was seeing wasn’t what he thought it was.

A snowflake landed on his cheek and hellucard nearly broke down. He didn’t know where he was. Didn’t have his wallet with him. Lost his phone. There was no public transport at this hour.

As his vision blurred with tears, hellucard searched his pockets hoping to find a bit of loose change. Finding just enough for a payphone, he sought out to find one. He only knew one person who would be able to help him. The only person who’s number he had memorized and owned a vehicle.

After walking around for awhile, he approached a phonebooth. It was vandalized and looked broken, but hellucard prayed it still worked. He gave a shaky sigh of relief as he heard the dialing tone and placed his coins in the slot, punching in the numbers.

‘Please leave your message after the beep.’

“H..hey..”

Hellucard cleared his throat, struggling to keep his voice from breaking. He was cold, dirty, tired. If he couldn’t get someone to come pick him up, he might have to spend the night snowed in in a phone booth. Which just wasn’t ideal.

‘please..’

“Tom.. could you come pick me up..?”

[whyareyoureyesblack]

Coffee date

Part three

It was half an hour until Paul had to leave,he wasn’t even ready yet,he was in the middle of pulling a flannel on,fiddling with the buttons.“Damn it fat!” He yelled, getting to the verge of giving up. He enventually got it buttoned up but was still upset, He didn’t want to go. He had plenty of reasons. Patryk glanced up from his book and at his swearing roommate.“Whats wrong Paul..?” Paul looked over at Patryk.“I don’t want to go on my date..” He said,sighing. “Why not?” Patryk asked. “Because I look fat and like shit.” He muttered,sitting on the side of his bed. “Paul no. I’ve told you plenty of times you’re not fat. You look fine and I’m sure your date will love how you look no matter what.” Patryk replied,going back to reading his book. Paul sighed and got up grabbing his keys. “I guess.” He grabbed his wallet and shoved it in his pants pocket. “I’m going to go now so I won’t be late, bye.” He then hurried out the door. Hellucard was already outside the restaurant, he knew it was early but he wanted to seem classy by being there first. He was very excited for the date. Hellucard wanted to make Paul feel special tonight, just like Hellucard felt towards him. He was adorable and perfect, he looked like he had very soft lips as well. Paul had gotten there with 15 minuets to spare,walking inside te restaurant and looking around, he smiled when he saw Hellucard at a table,busy playing with the silverware like a little kid. “Dork..” He muttered to himself walking up to him.“Hey, sorry.” Hellucard smiled brightly.“No it’s okay your here now.” He pushed a menu over to Paul.“Here. Also could I uh do something crazy?” “Aside from the usual?” Paul asked,laughing a bit.“Yeah sorry..” He continued. “Great!” Hellucard said and then pulled Paul close and kissed him. Paul blushed brightly and kissed back,smiling a bit. He wrapped his arms around Hellucard. He pulled away from the kiss,still blushing. “His lips are soft!” He said out loud. “What?..” Paul asked. Hellucard blushed and laughed. “Oh sorry.. Talking to myself.” -end of part 3- (I’m keeping you on edge -shy anon)

🎉🎉🎉🎉😻

[1percentz]

mav's ew ship opinions

tomtord: Trash. Complete and Utter Garbage. tomedd: i don't rlly care about it all it's kind of boring to me tordedd: all time otp ever out of like, literally everything eddmatt: idk theyre ok tordmatt: they never rlly talked pre-legacy and in the end tord just, punched him so yeah i'm not fond tomatt: this ship name sounds like tomato and that's probably what makes me like it so much paultryck: please stop eddsworld fandom you ruined a good pairing. fools kim/katya: pure.... blessed ship neighbor ships: ok idc theyre ok edduardo: uh no any ship with hellucard: die

[lbat1901]

Eddsworld: UTFTF Chapter 8

Into The Future We Go - (Chapter 8) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As soon as Edd opened up his eyes, he gets treated to an area that was dark and dreary. There wasn't anything that was colorful about it either. "Where am I?" asked Edd as he slowly gets up. Edd walks forward but stops once he bumped into something. It turns out that he was trapped within a glass chamber. Suddenly out of nowhere, Matt jumps in front of the chamber with a scared look on his face. "Edd!" cried Matt. "Matt? What's going on?" asked Edd. "I don't know. I was standing next to you a minute ago and now I woke up in a chamber similar to yours" said Matt. "Huh....strange. I think I might have an answer as to how we got here" said Edd. "You do? Oh thank god. I was believing that some disturbance in the force kidnapped and is planning to eat us" said Matt. "No Matt, we're not going to be eaten by some thing you've made up" said Tom as he came up from behind with Tord. "Tom, Tord, you're okay" said Edd. "Of course we're okay. We're basically in the same boat as you when it comes to being trapped" said Tom. "Oh. Anyway, how did you guys break free?" asked Edd. "Easy, with the he,p of my robotic arm and my knowledge of anything that involves technology. Let's not forget that my future self is the same person as me, so it wasn't all that hard" said Tord. "Yay, Tord!" said Matt. "Alright, let's get Edd out before we get caught" said Tom. Tord nods as he went over to a control panel before rearranging and picking the wires. This only lasted for a few seconds before the glass chamber rose, thus freeing Edd. "Thanks Tord!" said Edd. "Ah, it's nothing really. Now I just need to free the others" said Tord. "Others?" asked Matt. Tord walks over to a row of chambers that contained a trapped Eduardo, Jon, Mark, and Hellucard. After awhile, everyone was now freed. "You know you could've freed us first, right?" asked Eduardo. "Yeah you're right, but in all honestly, nah" said Tord. "Just where are we?" asked Mark. "All I can recall was that we were being chased by some person wearing a red helmet after destroying our home, I mean, Eduardo's house before something flashed in front of us" said Jon. "For us, it just happened once we were trying to get answers from him" said Tom. "Wait...you actually captured him?" asked Mark. "Yeah we did, but with the help of Tony's freeze ray. It turns out that person was my future self" said Tord. "Argh! Not Tony. I'm sick and tired of him thinking that he's better than me" said Eduardo. "It's not about him claiming to be better than you, he just likes to torture Mark and I" said Jon. "Actually, he likes to torture you more" said Mark. "Look I get the fact that you all hate him especially when he almost killed off the planet's livestock, but now's not the time. Tord's future self traveled back in time to kill him for killing off one of his "children" and we don't want that to happen. Also it seems that Future Tord sent us to the future where we won't interfere" said Edd. "Edd's right. We need to put our differences aside and save Tony and maybe clear some things up" said Tom. "Oh.....alright. If he plans on shoving his pride down my throat again, you'll be sorry" said Eduardo. "It's settled then. So....does anyone have a plan on where to go?" asked Tom. ".....Not really" said Jon. "Great. I had a feeling that might be said" said Tom. "Oh! I got a plan" said Matt. "What's the plan, Matt? Are we all going to worship you like a god?" asked Tom. "No! I would never do that. I might know a way out of here" said Matt. "Really? If that's the case then lead the way. Just don't get us lost or caught" said Tom. "Okay! Everyone follow me" said Matt. [A Few Minutes Later] "I said don't get us lost and look what happened, you actually got us lost" said Tom. "No I didn't. I just took a wrong turn. We should've made a left" said Matt. "Should've made a left? Oh, you frustrate me to no end" said Tom. "Both of you losers shut up!" yelled Eduardo. "Tom, you're just jealous that I actually have a plan and you don't" said Matt. "Actually I do have a plan. That plan is to stay alive and kick Tord's future self in the vital regions" said Tom. Soon enough, an argument started up. "Guys, stop it!" said Edd. "Yeah! You're taking this way too far" said Tord. As Edd and Tord were trying to break up the fight, the sounds of a gun clocking were heard which alarmed Hellucard. "Uh guys...." said Hellucard. "What!?" said Tom and Matt. "I think someone found us" said Hellucard. "You'd be right" said Future Tom as he stepped out of the shadows with his gun in hand. "....It's Future Tom" said Matt. "Future Tom? I have to admit that the visor is pretty cool" said Tord. "It's cool, but not in a good way. Anyway, step aside geezer or else" said Tom. "Or else what? You're not even armed to take me on and besides, you're not supposed to be free" said Future Tom. "Hey now, I know that you were probably tasked to keep us in line, but we're trying to get out of here" said Edd. "Trying to get out? More like rescuing the Black Leader. Unfortunately, that's not going to happen" said Future Tom. "Wait you know what we're doing?" asked Mark. "Well of course I do. You people are like super loud when it comes to being sneaky" said Future Tom. "Again, these losers can't do nothing right" said Eduardo. "Tom, I've came just in time" said Future Matt as he came out the shadows. "Matt, what are you doing!? I thought I told you to watch Edd" said Future Tom. "You did, but you didn't let me" said Future Matt. "I'm not talking about past Edd, I'm talking about our Edd" said Future Tom. "Oh.....I.....uh.....ehehehe....oh boy" said Future Matt with a nervous smile on his face. "Let me guess, you let him escape again didn't you?" asked Future Tom. "Ehh...sorta. He almost scared me to death by threatening to bash my skull against a wall if I were to try to get him back into his cell" said Future Matt. "It sounds like you let him escape to me" said Future Tom. "What do you mean by again? Did he like escape the first time around?" asked Edd. "He actually escaped from the Red Army's regime by going back in time to kill you the first time. There was a second time where he escaped, but he had some help by one of our officers. He actually wanted to kill past Tord, but we stopped him in time before we all got taken as prisoners by the Black Army" said Future Matt. "Moral of the story, he escaped three times. By the third time, it is unknown what he'll do" said Future Tom. "Back on the subject of the Black Leader, his name is Tony and for some reason Future Tord wants to kill him" said Edd. "Did you hear that Tom? Looks like the Red Leader finally got his wishes" said Future Matt. "I know that. In all seriousness, I get that seeing Zolorth's death being a heavy burden is too much to not think of, but taking out the past version of a person you hate is not a way to cope. It's just pointless" said Future Tom. "I have one question, why are you working with my future self when you can clearly see the horrible things that he has done? He almost gave me a heart attack due to him revealing himself" said Tord. "Yeah and he destroyed my house" said Eduardo. "He also destroyed my hard to replace, expensive things. I have a whole entire collection of glass figurines and miniature versions of famous landmarks that have probably been melted into nothing" said Mark. "We get that you're all upset, but here us out. First off, it's called having insurance and second, he seemed pretty happy about meeting his past self in the flesh. Also, we'll get you to the Black- I mean, your supposedly doomed friend" said Future Tom. "You....You mean it?" asked Jon. "Yes, we do. Now follow us. It's not safe for you to venture by yourselves especially when there's futuristically advanced technology around" said Future Matt.

[lbat1901]

Eddsworld: UTFTF Chapter 14

The Midnight Showdown at Castle Rock - (Chapter 14) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Once things were settled, Future Tord ordered his army along with the Black Army to move to the other base that was far from where Lord Death was at. After six full hours, everything was all set and ready for the battle as both Future Paul and Patryck counted every single weapon of war. "Geez...is it just me or does the Black Army have way more stuff than we do?" asked Future Paul. "Apparently so. They even have way more pilots than us" said Future Patryck. "Aww...is that the sound of jealously I hear in your voice?" asked Future Blueberry. "Oh god it's them. What do you three want?" asked Future Patryck. "Oh nothing really. We were just scrolling along in this place till we overheard your conversation. Isn't that right boys?" asked Future Blueberry. "Yep!" said Future Banana. "You sure got that right, Stephen" said Future Raspberry. "You may have fancier stuff than us, but at least we don't have ridiculous names like you" said Future Paul. "Give me five Paul" said Future Patryck. Future Paul gives Future Patryck a high five as Future Blueberry gritted his teeth in anger. "I have you know that these names we have are special" said Future Blueberry. "Yeah and we got them from a little girl" said Future Banana. "Bryan! Why would you say that?" asked Future Raspberry. "Oh sorry...." said Future Banana. "Anyways, don't you three have better things to do than wasting your time by talking to us?" asked Future Patryck. "Technically we do. Yamiyo or our fearless leader gives us an order. Half of the time, we do what we please" said Future Blueberry. "Oh I see. Speaking of Yamiyo, I think we've passed by her and she seemed a little pissed off" said Future Paul. "Oh crap! I forgot to give her morning green tea and biscuits..." said Future Raspberry. "Ugh....and I can't believe that I'm working with you two. Bryan, I always expect to not know anything, but I expected more from you Ralph. Looks like duty calls for us, we'll be seeing you on the battlefield. Goodbye for now, eyebrows and chicken wings" said Future Blueberry. The trio heads off as Future Patryck's blood boiled in rage. "Did he just insulted us?" asked Future Paul. "My hair strands aren't chicken wings, you idiot!" yelled Future Patryck. [Meanwhile] Not far from the base sat a tall hill that had a nice lovely waterfall right next to it and on that hill stood Future Tony who was petting Salzaar while both Draco and Thoraz were fighting over a group of dead cattle. "Hey! Cut it out you two. You're supposed to be sharing that" said Future Tony. Salzaar looks at his two siblings and let's out a quick snarl which made them stop fighting. Future Tony continued petting Salzaar as past Tony came walking up the hill. Draco notices this and goes over to him which alarms past Tony; however, Draco just stares at him before leaning his head forward to get a better look of him. At this level, both past Tony and Draco made eye contact just shortly before past Tony hesitantly raised a hand up. Draco gives in allowing past Tony to pet him which lasted for few minutes till Future Tony's voice rang. "It would seem that Draco likes you. Well I can't say much since we are the same person" said Future Tony. "Or that he saw that I was wearing the same outfit as you. Oh wait....nevermind.." said Tony. Future Tony chuckles a bit before walking towards his past self as Draco went back to eating. "Aren't they beautiful to look at?" asked Future Tony. "The dragons? Well yeah they are" said Tony. "Hm....in most folklore, they are portrayed to be deadly creatures; however, I will prove them wrong. I will prove all of them wrong. I will show the world that dragons aren't feared because of their strength and agility, but only that they should be well respected because of their honor and pride. Their fire breathing and endurance shouldn't be underestimated" said Future Tony. "Wow, that's one big dream to have" said Tony. "Indeed it is. Have you ever ridden a dragon before?" asked Future Tony. "No I haven't. Why are you asking?" asked Tony. "I'm just asking because I want to gets these dragons ready for their big night" said Future Tony. "Oh" said Tony. Tony then watches as his future self walks over to Salzaar before climbing on his back. "So...are you coming or not?" asked Future Tony. "I don't know how to ride a dragon" said Tony. "Nobody knows how until you ride one" said Future Tony. "Yeah I know, but what if Draco doesn't trust me on his back?" asked Tony. "Then I've enjoyed your company past me" said Future Tony. Soon Salzaar takes off to the skies leaving Tony to cautiously climb onto Draco's back. "Umm....you can go now, but please don't kill me" said Tony. Draco seemed to have understood what Tony just said before slowly and carefully taking off. Once in the sky, Tony gripped onto Draco praying that nothing bad would happen; however, he wasn't expecting for Draco to take a dive down in what appeared to be a ridged canyon which made him hold onto dear life. Draco dives down in such a high speed that wind blew right into Tony's. After awhile, Tony suddenly grew the confidence to fully sit up high and straight as he went into sync with Draco. The sync was so strong that Tony controlled where he wanted Draco to fly to and in no time's flat, they finally passed by Salzaar as a seemly impressed Future Tony watched. "Well my, my, it would seem that my past self connected to my dragons faster than I expected. Oh I'm sorry, I mean our dragons, heh heh" said Future Tony. Both Tonys continued flying the dragons as they went over a large valley where the gang were flight testing and practicing their superpowers. "Hey look, it's Tony and he's.....riding a dragon?" asked Matt. "They look so cool riding them" said Hellucard. "....Show off" said Tom. "Can't wait to see these dragons burn down Lord Death's army. It's going to be awesome" said Edd. [At Sundown] What Future Tord planned to do for the fight was to have the past selves go to Lord Death's castle via through flying in secretly in a helicopter that's piloted by Future Yanov. "Remember to stick to the plan and you'll be fine" said Future Yanov. "You got it! .......What's the plan again?" asked Matt. After a minutes later, the gang were seen walking inside the castle with Tony as they all wore business suits and sunglasses while carrying suitcases. They kept walking till they eventually made it to the front desk where a secretary sat. "Why hello there, can I help you?" asked the secretary. "Why yes. We're one of the parties belonging to the EU and we would like to see your boss" said Tony. "Ah I see. Why exactly do you want to see Lord Death?" asked the secretary. "We want to him just so we can surrender that's why" said Tony. "Very well, I'll buzz you in. Please go right away through those doors" said the secretary. "Thanks" said Tony. The gang walked passed the secretary and heads through the doors as they went into another part of the castle. Once far from earshot, Mark opens up his suitcase which had Future Yamiyo in it. "Thank god, I can finally breathe. It seems that the secretary didn't ask for your names which is a good thing" said Future Yamiyo. "Why is that?" asked Mark. "According to what I've heard, whenever a foreign party is sent here to form a peace treaty with Lord Death, they don't say their names because Lord Death kills them without a second thought" said Future Yamiyo. "Oh, well that makes sense" said Mark. "Now back onto the plan, the Red Leader wanted us to gather enough information on Lord Death's true identity and to take down the defense shields to the castle" said Future Yamiyo. "Very well. Looks like we're going to be spilting into two different teams" said Edd. "Say no more. I've already got the teams done" said Future Yamiyo. "Really? Great! ...Uh....what are you going to do?" asked Edd. "Oh that? I'm planning on taking your friend here with me so we can get the info on Lord Death" said Future Yamiyo. "What? You mean me?" asked Tony. "Yes" said Future Yamiyo. "Hold on, how many defense shields does this base even have?" asked Tord. "There's only two powerful ones. The rest of them aren't much of a problem" said Future Yamiyo. "So are we all going together to destroy these things?" asked Tord. "No, Edd and Eduardo have something way more important to do together and that's to defeat Lord Death's top generals" said Future Yamiyo. "What?" asked Edd. "You can't be serious right? There is no way that I'm working with this loser" said Eduardo. "I understand where you're coming from, but I don't care. You're working together or else I'll break open your skull with my bare hands. Got it?" asked Future Yamiyo. "Ugh! .....Fine....we'll work together" said Eduardo. [Outside] Just a couple of miles away from Lord Death's castle sat the Red Army where Future Hellucard is seen looking through a pair of binoculars. "What's taking the Black Leader so long to get here?" asked Future Tord. "Patience Tord, he'll come" said Future Matt. "Yeah, he will. He's currently aiding both of our naval forces in the Indian Ocean whers Lord Death's undead pirates and other forces are at just so we can protect those countries who are in that direction" said Future Tom. "I believe he's helping his own army more than mine" said Future Tord. "How can you be so sure about that? The only reason why he's helping us is that he doesn't want to be apart of Lord Death's control which is very similar to your plans" said Future Edd. "Edd, you don't know what you're getting yourself into by arguing with me" said Future Tord. "What are you talking about? Of course I know. For a decade, I was trying to find a solution for myself. I had to make sacrifices and I had to kill even though it was against my expectations. Tony's future self and his dragons are a solution for us so that's why he's doing this" said Future Edd. Before Future Tord could counter to what Future Edd just said, the sounds of whining were heard as everyone turned their attention to Azura and Cybris. "What's up with them?" asked Future Edd. "They can't be hungry. Zhong Wei and Hellucard, did you feed them?" asked Future Tord. "Yeah we did, but that was before we left" said Zhong Wei. "Well apparently not. A feed hellhound is an obedient hellhound; however, I suppose they can eat the flesh of the many soldiers belonging to Lord Death" said Future Tord. Suddenly Salzaar, Draco, and Thoraz came down from the sky and landed on a steep as Future Tony got off Salzaar's back. "Sorry I'm late. There were so many undead forces that I had to use my dragons to destroy a good majority of their ships. Did I miss anything important?" asked Future Tony. "Not really. You've made it just in time for us to plan on how we're going to charge" said Future Tord. "Great. So what do you have in mind?" asked Future Tony. "Obviously we need air support so that's where your dragons come in" said Future Tord. "That is true, but I have a feeling that they will be pelleted by javelins and bullets. My dragons aren't invincible you know. They may have high endurance, but they can be taken out of the sky within a few shots" said Future Tony. "Oh I see. So we need both of our air forces to give out support to the dragons, I'm guessing?" asked Future Tord. "In a way yes. If your hellhounds are busy on the ground killing people than they need some backup as well. Anyway, I need two of you to do something for me" said Future Tony. "Whatever it is, we'll do it" said Zhong Wei. "Oh, we're being brave are we now? Very well, I want you to ride one of my dragons in the sky to give out air support for all of our ground forces" said Future Tony. "Really? You're trusting us to ride your dragons? This is awesome!" said Zhong Wei. "Yeah......just don't ruin it" said Future Tony. "Gotcha. I'll take the biggest one please" said Zhong Wei. "Uh...actually don't. Salzaar is mine, but you can choose between either Draco or Thoraz" said Future Tony. "I see. Hmm......I guess I'll take Draco then" said Zhong Wei. "And that leaves me with taking Thoraz" said Future Hellucard. "Alright, it's settled" said Future Tony. [With Tord, Matt, and Tom] Back inside the sealed castle of Lord Death, Tord, Tom, and Matt, were tasked to take down the first defense shield; however, once doing so, Matt decided to run off from the group before getting stopped by three people all wearing colored armored chest plates. "Halt there intruder, what do you think you're doing?" asked one of them who was wearing a green colored chest plate. "Oh nothing, I got invited by your leader as a guest of honor" said Matt. "Oh please, like Lord Death would ever invite a fool like you. Anyway, I think it's time for some introductions. I'm Ginger as in ginger ale" said Ginger. "I'm Spice" said the second one who was wearing an orange chest plate. "And I'm Vinegar" said the third one who was wearing a light blue chest plate. "Okay then, I'm Matt. Now, get out of my way" said Matt. "I'm sorry, but we can't do that" said Spice. "Ginger, it seems that this has superpowers possibly from radioactive material" said Vinegar. "So we have one of those guys. Looks like we need to counter it. Ready guys?" asked Ginger. "Yeah, we're ready" said Spice. "Bacon!" said Vinegar. "Chicken nuggets!" said Spice. "Cheese!" said Ginger. Matt just stood their in confusion wondering why they said food words before deciding to join in. "...Uh.....indubitably!" said Matt. What happened next was that Ginger, Vinegar, and Spice gotten a tad bit more taller as power suits appeared under their chest armor. Once Matt saw this he immediately started running around in circles while screaming due to the shock. "Heh heh, looks like we scared him good" said Ginger. "Enough of this! Stop running!" yelled Vinegar. Matt stops running before getting into a fighting stance. "Before we start anything, you may have superpowers but you're no match for us since we are known as Lord Death's top soldiers. We are the Bio Warriors!" said Vinegar. "Bio Warriors?" asked Matt. "I don't think that no one has ever told you, but don't worry, we'll tell you. Now die" said Vinegar. There was some slight pause before Spice made the first move as he took charge at Matt only to get blasted by a ball of red energy. Matt turns to the source of the beam to see Tord who was standing at the top of a staircase that was the entrance to the room. "Need a hand, Matt?" asked Tord. "Tord! Thank god you're here" said Matt. Tord goes to Matt before the two exchanged a quick hug. "We told you not go ahead by yourself, now we got company" said Tord. "I know and I'm sorry, but hey, at least I'm not alone to face these guys" said Matt. "Yeah, just who are they exactly?" asked Tord. "They're known as the Bio Warriors, but they are actually Ginger, Vinegar, and Spice" said Matt. "Heh, I never knew that top ranking soldiers can be recruited by being named after ingredients" said Tord. "Yeah.....but I don't know, it's not even enough" said Matt. "Perhaps I can lend you a hand" said Tom. Just like that everyone watched as Tom stepped out of the shadows and into the light all boss style. "Yay, even more backup" said Matt. "Oh please, you don't know nothing. I feel like breaking bones with these freaks" said Tom. "Oh, so what's the plan Tom?" asked Tord. "Tord, go take care of the defense shield. Matt and I will deal with these three" said Tom. "Rodger that" said Tord. Tord proceeds to go up the stairs before seeing a sign that shows where the defense shield is at and he goes to that direction. It wasn't till he was stopped by Vinegar who quickly appeared right in front of him. "You're not going anywhere, pal. Die!!!" yelled Vinegar. Vinegar runs towards Tord as an attempt to punch him right in face before suddenly getting pulled through the floor as it somehow collapsed underneath him leaving Tord to go for it. In a room that was where Vinegar came crashing through, he was seen stuck in the rubble till Tom slowly walked up to him. "Oh you got some nerve thinking that you can challenge us" said Tom. A few minutes later, Vinegar gets thrown through into a wall as he ends up in another room that's dark and is filled with tall pillars. "What's the matter? I thought you had the confidence to fight, but I guess that separating you from your teammates, you ain't nothing" said Tom. "Grr....never judge an opponent by their first fall" said Vinegar as he got up. Vinegar shouts as he attempted to hit Tom who managed to successfully dodge all of his punches. "You can't hit anything!" said Tom. "Oh yeah? Take this!" said Vinegar. Vinegar goes in for a punch at Tom's face; however, Tom effortlessly catches his fist which surprised Vinegar. This gave Tom the cue to aggressively punch Vinegar in many different areas while giving out a battle cry. The punches from Tom were so much that Vinegar had stop himself from falling onto the ground as he braced himself for another punch. Unfortunately, Tom's punch was so strong that it knocked Vinegar off of his feet and into the air. "What the!? He's a monster!!!" cried Vinegar. Eventually Vinegar went through several pillars before catching himself as he landed upon a wide metal catwalk as he watched Tom walking towards where he's at from a distance. "You and your pals aren't nothing but a waste of time" said Tom. Unexpectedly, Tom fires a large beam of blue energy which directly hits Vinegar and instantly kills him leaving behind a destroyed portion of the catwalk along with the now dead hanging corpse of Vinegar that was all burnt and steaming. Meanwhile with Matt, he was seen on the rooftop while both Ginger and Spice were chasing after him. Luckily for Matt he was way faster than them, but he would soon get overpowered once Ginger pulled out two large curved swords from his back followed by Spice who pulled a jagged longsword from his right leg. The two then proceeded to fight Matt with their swords as Matt ran away from him while trying to spilt them up. He did this rather well, but ended up getting parts of his hair sliced off from Spice. The fight dragged on a little longer, before Ringo, well Future Ringo suddenly appeared and went to scratch up Spice's face. This lead to Matt using his superhuman strength to forcefully throw Spice into air as he crashed into a watch tower before helping Future Ringo by tripping Ginger off of the roof. Matt then focus all of his energy into a single purple beam that had glitter and sparkles in it. Ginger notices this before firing off a green energy beam of his own just as Matt counters it with his own. Matt's beam overwhelmed Ginger's beam as Ginger himself attempted to stop it with his bare hands. Unfortunately, he was getting overwhelmed as he gets taken with it to where Spice is at. Spice manages to get out of rubble in time to see a large purple beam with Ginger screaming coming right at him. Instead of trying to stop it, Spice screams as Ginger crashed into him before the beam ends up destroying the entire watchtower. Matt and Future Ringo watches as the dust settles only to see the dead bodies of both Ginger and Spice underneath the rubble. [On The Battlefield] Back on the battlefield, both of the Black and Red Armies charged towards Lord Death's army as they killed off soldiers just before seeing the army of the undead rushing towards them. There were almost there but got a jet stream of dragon fire breathed on them which killed them instantly. The two armies continued their pursuit until they got ambushed by the undead Zolorth. "Ahh!!! It's Zolorth" said Future Matt. "Yeah and he's in the spot where we want him. Now!!!" yelled Future Tord. Suddenly Azura and Cybris appeared and tackled Zolorth to the ground as they went into a battle of their own allowing the armies to proceed. The air forces managed to take down several watchtowers and enemy jets from the help of the top leading pilots. This was enough for Future Tony's three dragons to destroy even more opposing ground forces before almost getting taken out the sky by the undead Anglia who was being controlled by Lord Death himself. "He's here. What do we do?" asked Future Hellucard. "Just keep calm alright. If he appears we will have the dragons fight against their dead sibling" said Future Tord. "What if they don't fight their sibling?" asked Zhong Wei. "Well we will be screwed. They need to get over that their sibling is dead and show that they give no mercy" said Future Tony. The trio waits for awhile till Lord Death and Anglia appeared leaving Zhong Wei to command Draco to attack first. Draco shows no mercy when it came to clawing and biting at the rotting flesh of Anglia; however, this abruptly ends when Anglia attempts to breath purple flames at Draco who counters them with his own. Future Hellucard took this as a moment to have Thoraz to ferociously take a bite at Anglia's neck, completely removing a huge chunk of flesh which exposed purple flames that were in Anglia's throat. Anglia responds to this by clawing at Thoraz' stomach before getting tackled down by Salzaar who ended up testing up Anglia's back. This was enough for Lord Death to lose his grip on Anglia and fall through the thick clouds in the sky. "We did it!" said Zhong Wei. "Not quite. Anglia is heading to find Lord Death.....or...maybe head back to the castle's front doors" said Future Tony. "I sure wonder what kind of fire that both Zolorth and Anglia are breathing. They can't be breathing normal fire since they're both dead" said Future Hellucard. "Well you do have a point. They must be breathing atomic fire" said Future Tony. "Atomic fire? What's that?" asked Zhong Wei. "Atomic fire, as like in the actual deadly chemical, is a type of highly toxic fumes. Have you ever seen the movie Godzilla before? In all of those films, Godzilla is radioactive and can breathe out atomic breath. In both Zolorth and Anglia's case, they seem to be able to remember their past life where they both breathed fire. Atomic fire is colored purple and can melt anything just like normal fire, but it can spread to everywhere in a rapid speed" said Future Tony. "Woah......that's something" said Zhong Wei. "Indeed it is. Hopefully Tord finds a way to defeat Zolorth just like we need to defeat Anglia" said Future Tony. [With Hellucard, Jon, and Mark] Hellucard, Jon, and Mark managed to find the room where the second defense shield is at before encountering two other Bio Warriors with different colored power suits along with matching armor. The first one had red colored armor while the second one had yellow colored armor. "I'm amusing that you two might be Lord Death's soldiers, am I right?" asked Jon. "Why yes we are. It's nice to meet you, I'm Ketchup" said the one in red. "And I am Mustard. We are members of the all powerful Bio Warriors" said the one in yellow. "How interesting. It's a shame that we're going to beat you both" said Mark. "Oh you're so dead wrong on that. We have something for you" said Mustard. Mark, Jon, and Hellucard braced themselves as they saw a huge blue lion that had long fangs, golden rings covering its legs, and red glowing eyes came up from behind Ketchup and Mustard. "Our lovely guests, we would to introduce you to our pet machine mutant, Faon" said Ketchup. Faon roars loudly before Hellucard formed a skeletal boomerang and throws it which misses Faon. "Haha! What was that?" asked Ketchup. "Oh you'll see, just give it a moment" said Hellucard. A moment passed as the boomerang made its way up to the ceiling before decanting thus blowing off a large portion of debris. The falling debris fell onto Faon who wasn't expecting it before getting crushed to death. "Faon! No!" cried Mustard. Once Faon was dead, this gave Mark the opportunity to punch Mustard in the face as the impact sent him flying into a wall. Ketchup who was left by himself attempted to ambush Mark with electric wires that were on his arms by coming down from the air. Unfortunately, Jon steps in and punches Ketchup right in the jaw before quickly kicking his back. Eventually, Jon catches an unconscious Ketchup before he could land on the ground. Jon soon puts Ketchup down. "And that's what you get for messing with us" said Jon. "Excellent work team! Now let's go deactivate that defense shield" said Mark.

[lbat1901]

Eddsworld: UTFTF Chapter 13

The Plan - (Chapter 13) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In a conference room, the gang were seen sitting with their future selves along with Future Eduardo, Jon, and Mark. Tom couldn't help, but to eye at the power core that was in Future Eduardo's chest. "What are looking at loser?" asked Future Eduardo. "Nothing" said Tom. "Don't play stupid with me, I know you're looking at me because your eyes haven't moved. By the way, how can you possibly look at things without eyes?" asked Future Eduardo. "Let's not go there, pal" said Tom. "Hmph....we're not pals. We've only met like a good five minutes ago" said Future Eduardo. "Oh, you're certainly Eduardo's future self alright. You may have changed in terms of appearance, but personality wise not that much" said Tom. "Are you trying to insult me?" asked Future Eduardo. "No, I'm not" said Tom. "Oh for pete's sake! Why don't you just shut it already? I can't hear myself think" said Eduardo. "So....future me, how's life been treating you after we last saw each other?" asked Edd. "Life didn't get any better once Tom and Matt, well Future Tom and Matt, took me to the Red Army base. They didn't even bother on putting me into a cell, they had a whole bunch of soldiers to do the job. It was a pretty scene at all" said Future Edd. "I am sorry to hear that honestly" said Edd. "Don't be. I was so dumb enough to believe that Future Tord banned cola even though he had to take over Londom just so that Lord Death wouldn't have a saying. I didn't even know the truth till I was told about. For over a decade, I had my heart and mind set on reversing the now worldwide cola ban and it turned out that everything that I knew was just a resistance and yet, I resisted it" said Future Edd. "Hey, don't feel bad about. At least, you have friends again" said Edd. "That is true" said Future Edd. Edd gives off a smile which made Future Edd smile a bit till there were interrupted by the sounds of Future Eduardo and past Tom about to duke it out. "Eduardo! Stop it!" said Future Jon as he and Future Mark held back Future Eduardo. "Yeah you too, Tom" said Tord as he and Matt held back Tom. "Well he started it!" said Tom. "No I didn't!" said Future Eduardo. "That is enough!" said Future Tord as he came into the room. "You! You did this to me. You had Jon and Mark made me into this being. I am not going to let you get away with this" said Future Eduardo. Suddenly Future Eduardo takes charge at Future Tord just as he raised his hand out in front him which made Future Eduardo stop in his tracks. "What the!? I-I can't move! Why can't I move?" asked Future Eduardo. "Is it not obvious? I don't think you know, but I have full control of anything technological and I can stop anything from going roque. Since you're now part robot, I can easily stop you more then I could when you were still human" said Future Tord. "That's the most ridiculous thing that I've ever heard of. Jon and Mark, is it true that this idiot can control me?" asked Future Eduardo. "Well...uh.... apparently he can" said Future Jon. "Why you.....I HATE YOU!!! Ahh! Headache!" yelped Future Eduardo. "Listen to me very closely Eduardo, it's great to see that you're alive and well, but now's not the time to rub your attitude in people's faces. We are about to enter a war that might get us killed even if we try. So I ask for the sake of anyone here to shove your half-minded, half-arsed, selfish pride down your pride down your throat. Do I make myself clear? Do I!?" asked Future Tord. "....I- Yes, I heard you nice and clear..." said Future Eduardo. "Good. Now with that over and done with, Tom and Matt, I need a full status report about our situation" said Future Tord. "As you wish. Ever since Lord Death and his army first stepped foot upon the lower part of South America, it only took for an hour for Central America to be under control. Fast forwarding to an hour and a half, American forces couldn't do anything but get completely wiped out. The same happened to the many armies before them" said Future Matt. "Yes, yes, that I am aware of that. What about you, Tom?" asked Future Tord. "As of now, their are staying in Sri Lanka after taking control of it. I'm guessing that they need some rest after crossing the entire Pacific Ocean along with taking out islands and other countries. Honestly, I don't blame them" said Future Tom. "Great! Since we know where they are, we can go there and attack them at night. Plus I have bass that's a couple of miles away" said Future Tord. "Okay.....what's the point in all of this?" asked Jon. "Heh, you'll see" said Future Tord. [Two Hours Later] From the skies and to the ground landed Edd who was wearing his superhero attire. "Attention natives of the world, there's no need to fear since you have the one and only PowerEdd and my trusting sidekick, Numero Uno" said Edd. A few seconds later, Eduardo, who was wearing his superhero attire as well, landed right next to Edd. "....Since when were we teammates?" asked Eduardo. "Wheee! Look at me, I'm flying and this costume makes me look good" said Matt. "You may look good, but my costume is lame, but hey I can finally look down on all you people" said Tom. "Looking festive Tom" said Tord. "Like you're the- why do you have to get the cool costume?" asked Tom. "I didn't get it, I made it myself especially the visor. Besides I have to make it go with the robotic arm" said Tord. "Oh....whatever" said Tom. "Are you sure that giving them superpowers through nuclear radiation was a good idea?" asked Future Mark. "Yes, it was. We need some idiots with dangerous inhuman powers in our life" said Future Tord. "Yeah especially when one of them has a teddy bear as a logo and the other has a rainbow colored cape. Like how can you be so certain that world's going to be saved?" asked Future Tom. "What?" asked Future Tord. Future Tord looks up to see Jon in his costume that had a teddy bear on it. "Why is your logo a teddy bear with a J on your costume?" asked Eduardo. "I thought it would give me a sense of justice" said Jon. "He's right you know. You really shouldn't be judging" said Mark. "....Ah....I can't stop staring at that cape of yours, Mark...." said Eduardo. "Since their testing their powers, I must ask, where's Hellucard?" asked Future Tord. "He's wearing a bone clad suit of armor while standing next to my past self" said Future Matt. "I'm talking about our Hellucard, not the past one" said Future Tord. "Oh, he's with Zhong Wei right now and he's not going anywhere" said Future Matt. "That's great to hear. I don't want him leaving too soon with Zhong Wei just so they can stupid things just yet" said Future Tord. "By doing stupid things, I think you mean basketball and skateboarding" said Future Matt. "That's exactly what I've meant" said Future Tord.

[lbat1901]

Eddsworld: UTFTF Chapter 12

Disgrace - (Chapter 12) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Back at the Red Army base, Hellucard was seen having a conversation with his future self and Zhong Wei. "And that's how you do it. You now know how to do an extreme kickfllp on a hoverboard" said Future Hellucard. "Awesome! How and where did you get the time to try out skateboarding?" asked Hellucard. "Oh man......it's been years since I've started skateboarding. That was when I met Zhong Wei" said Future Hellucard. "Yeah, it's true. I didn't know a single soul when I first moved to Canada. Luckily your future self was there to guide me through such a hard journey" said Zhong Wei. "Nice! Where were you originally from?" asked Hellucard. "Shanghai. I had to move after my own father shot and killed my mother when I was a small tike" said Zhong Wei. "Geez....that must've been hard" said Hellucard. "It was. I taught the basics when it came to skateboarding and I learned how to play basketball before moving to England" said Zhong Wei. "But that's when darkness struck. One day, we received word of the banning of things that people like and use. That dictator, Lord Death, banned basketball and skateboarding, but it wasn't enough to stop rebels. However, Lord Death noticed this and ordered a round up of the revels and killed them in the most ruthless way as possible" said Future Hellucard. "Was there a point in time where people didn't like the banning that Lord Death did?" asked Hellucard. "There was, but it didn't last long. Families were separated, children were feed to packs of starving dogs, buildings being burned to the ground, and the worst one of all was that once Lord Death killed anyone who opposes him, he'll kill them and make them be apart of his army of the undead" said Future Hellucard. "Wow....that's heavy to hear" said Hellucard. "It is, but we're grateful for Tord taking over London just so he can work on a way to defeat Lord Death" said Zhong Wei. "I see that he's making good progress with that plan" said Hellucard. A loud roar was heard as both Hellucards and Zhong Wei looked out onto the distance to see a dragon with black and red colored scales flying towards the base before going over them. "Was that a dragon that I just seen?" asked Zhong Wei. "Apparently so, but look there's two more" said Future Hellucard. In the skyline view of London there were two silhouettes that were in the shape of dragons flying above the city. Without a doubt, there was screams that bellowed just before the dragons came flying over to the base upon seeing the sight of some members of the Red Army riding with the entire Black Army on the horizon. One of the dragons had lime green and yellow colored scales while the other one had cream blue colored scales. [A Few Minutes Later] "Dragons!? Have you lost your mind!? I can't believe that you would allow this. I told you to come up with a plan and this was what you've came up with? Unbelievable!" said Zhong Wei. "And it's unbelievable that you would set Edd free when I specifically told you to stay away from him" said Future Tord. "Well it pained me to see him in a small space. He seemed happy when he got the chance to walk down a hallway" said Zhong Wei. "Why of course he was happy. He was so happy that he vaporized one of the guards and decided to travel back in time to kill my past self" said Future Tord. "It's not my fault that he wanted to do it. All he wanted was cola and to make things right" said Zhong Wei. "Oh god.....look, I know you hate to see the weak being treated like wild animals, but you need to just need to learn on how to not pat attention to it" said Future Tord. "Like you're the one to talk. You allowed the Black Leader, the most fearsome being known to conquer countless countries and galaxies, to bring his dragons here of all places" said Zhong Wei. "Hey! I have you know that those dragons are the only ones who can help us. Now if you would excuse me, I have a robot that's needs some discipline" said Future Tord. [Meanwhile] Both versions of Tonys were seen together in a keep with the dragons. "Uh...how can you tell which dragon is which?" asked Tony. "It's quite simple actually. Just note that two of them are wyverns and the third one is a European dragon. Now pay close attention since I'm only going to say this once" said Future Tony. "You got it" said Tony. "That wyvern over there with the red and black scales is named Salzaar. The one who's currently sleeping and has lime great and yellow scales is named Draco. Last and not least, we have the European dragon with four limbs and has cream blue scales is named Thoraz. Oh and uh, don't even think about taking his food, he'll kill you" said Future Tony. "Amazing! My father told me bedtime stories about dragons and I've always believed that they were actually real. Where did you get them from?" asked Tony. "Oh, it turns out that Bryan, or best known for his ridiculous nickname Banana, found them believing that they were rare stones, but it turns out that once exposing them to heat by accident out hatched newborn dragons" said Future Tony. "Say that reminds me, I've recently gotten those stones" said Tony. "You did? Excellent! Just be aware that if you ever allowed them to hatch, you need to be a careful parent to them. Unlike most baby animals, dragons require a whole lot of care" said Future Tony. "I'll keep that in mind" said Tony. "Oh and be extremely on guard when it comes to handling Anglia" said Future Tony. "Who's Anglia?" asked Tony. "Anglia is the fourth dragon and the same dragon that got killed by Lord Death. Plus Anglia is a wyvern just like Salzaar and Draco, but Anglia has purple and blue colored scales" said Future Tony. "Oh, I see. Speaking of which, Todd who lives with Eduardo, Jon, and Mark, would probably be surprised to see that Eduardo's house was destroyed by Future Tord" said Tony. "I'm pretty sure, he would be, but who cares? We got important things to worry about" said Future Tony. [Back In Present Time] Todd, who was seen walking down the block carrying grocery bags, was about to turn to Eduardo's only see that it was reduced to nothing but rubble. "Seriously!? .......I really need to move in with Hellucard. At least, he keeps his place from not getting destroyed unlike Eduardo" said Todd.

[lbat1901]

Eddsworld: At World's End Chapter 13

Operation: Save The World Part 2 - (Chapter 13)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Okay how do I dismantle a large drill exactly?” asked Edd. Edd was standing in front of a power drill trying to figure out on how he was going to break it or take apart its gears. “Future me didn’t give a blueprint on how to destroy this thing. I guess I can look around for something to use” said Edd. Edd begins searching for anything he can use on the drill so far he hasn’t gotten anywhere. “Darn it, I thought there would be something to- oh wait I think I have something actually” said Edd as he felt something in his pant pockets.

[Ten Minutes Later]

“So….you just basically put bubblegum onto one of the gears on the drill?” asked Future Matt. “That’s a good idea actually” said Edward Gold. “Good idea? How could putting bubblegum on a drill be an idea?” asked Tom. “Well….I wasn’t given anything to dismantle it according to future me” said Edd. “At least you tried, anyway where’s Matt?” asked Tord. “Uhh…..I think I left him…onboard Tony’s spaceship” said Edd nervously. “You’ve left him behind!? Why would you do that?” asked Future Edd.

“Well technically…we agreed to both go down separate corridors which was a bad idea” said Edd. “How dare you leave…ah forget it. Yelling isn’t going to solve anything. We need to get prepared to fight against the Black Army and somehow rescue Matt. So….Red Leader….do you have a plan or not?” asked Future Edd. “Indeed I do. I have a special place for you guys” said Tord. “Alright then. Uh can you do me favor and open this only and last can of cola for me just like old times?” asked Edd while holding up a can of soda. “Sure old friend, I’m really happy that we’re friends again” said Tord. Tord opens the can with his robotic hand before handing the can back to Edd.

Edd smiles at this before going over to Eduardo. “What you want, Edd?” asked Eduardo in the same tone that he uses when Edd’s around. “Do you have a straw that I can use? It’s for this last can of cola” said Edd. “Grr……ITS ALMOST THE END OF THE WORLD AND YOU WANT ME TO GET YOU A BLOODY STRAW!?” yelled Eduardo. “Eduardo please, just do it” said Edd calmly. “You…You do realize that we hate each other right? I mean I despise you way more than you do for me” said Eduardo. “Don’t make me repeat myself again, I said I want a straw. I’m waiting” said Edd sternly. Eduardo did what he never thought he was going to do. He gave a straw to Edd while cursing underneath his breath. “Thank you Eduardo, you’re a pal” said Edd. “We’re not friends. Since when are we friends?” asked Eduardo while giving a look of disgust at thought of being friends with Edd.

~At The Battlefield~

“This is the special place that he wanted us to be!? He sent us in the middle of a freaking battlefield!” yelled Eduardo. “Shut it Eduardo. Tom do you still have that piece of paper that I gave you for your birthday?” asked Edd. “Yeah I do. I was going to throw it away unless I get answers to whatever you put on it” said Tom as he was holding a piece of paper. Edd goes over to Tom and takes the paper from him before holding it up in the sunlight. The piece of paper then showed battle formations of some sort. “So you’re telling me that you actually wrote down battle formations yet you didn’t bother to tell me what all of those scribbles mean” said Tom.

“Technically those so called "scribbles” were from when I was playing tic-tac-toe with Matt" said Edd. “Well that makes sense” said Tom. “Enough with the talking, what do those battle formations say exactly?” asked Saloonatics Eduardo. “First we need to be in a long line before splitting it up in three separate groups. We got the future trio lead by future me” said Edd. “Okay” said Future Edd with a slight nod. “Then we have the wild western fighters trio lead by Edward Gold” said Edd.

“That sounds dandy, but Prince Matthew doesn’t have any combat experience nor any battle knowledge” said Sheriff Thompson. “What are you talking about? I have knowledge on how to fight” said Prince Matthew. “We both know that you don’t have any experience” said Sheriff Thompson. “Anyway moving on” said Tom. “Right, next we have the three bandits lead by Saloonatics Eduardo or simply Eduardo’s ancestor” said Edd. “Yay! We’re in the same group together” said Juan.

“Don’t push it or I’ll shoot you in the chest” said Saloonatics Eduardo. “Next we have our "lovely” neighbors lead by of course Eduardo" said Edd. “I want this day to be done with just so I don’t have to deal with you losers” said Eduardo. “Stop with the complaining Eduardo. You’re going to fight with us and to make sure of that, both Hellucard and Todd will be joining you since they’re considered to be oddballs” said Tom. “Fine, we’ll let them join our trio” said Mark. “Where’s Red Leader? I thought he said he’ll be joining us all” said Future Matt.

“That little gremlin! I knew that we should of never trusted him” said Future Edd. “Whoa, calm down. I’m sure Tord will come here eventually. You just need to give him some time” said Edd. “Forget about giving him time, we got company” said Tom. Up in the skies, about six fighter jets are seen flying over the battlefield. Each jet had a logo of a poisonous snake at its tail end. “I have a feeling that those jets are the Black Army’s right?” asked Jon.

The jets suddenly fired missiles which then indicated that they’re meant for the ground troops. “Everyone scatter!” yelled Tom. Everyone started running as the missiles came for them only to miss. The jets were about to fire another round of missiles only to get taken out of the sky before landing into the sea. “We’ve been saved” said Todd in relief. “Yeah but who’s piloting that Red Army- it’s one of the pilots that we’ve met” said Tom.

“Yes! Thank you Paul…or is it Patryck? I really don’t know what their positions are” said Edd. Suddenly rumbling was felt as everyone turned their direction at an incoming squad of tanks and other weaponry. “Alright, let’s get this show on run” said Tom. Suddenly the rest of Black Army came in after the Red Army showed up just as Tony’s spaceship came into view along with a giant red robot that seemed familiar. “So zhis iz zhe giant robot zhat I’ve seen in zhose blueprints. Heh….Yamiyo, come in Yamiyo, do jou read me?” asked Tony as he talked through a microphone on his ship’s control panel. “Yes I read you. Do you want us to attack first?” asked Yamiyo.

“Not just yet. Let’s wait for Red Leader to make zhe move” said Tony. “Sir, I can’t just keep going in circles in this jet forever you know. I suggest we attack first” said Patryck. “Alright it’s settled. Paul, on the count of three I want you to activate those land mines” said Tord. “You got it” said Paul as he got done counting the last land mine. “Here we go. 1……2…….3! Go Paul, go!” said Tord. Paul quickly takes out a switch before pressing the trigger button as a land mine under a Black Army tank exploded.

“I vasn’t expecting zhat but….okay attack” said Tony. Both armies lead by Paul and Yamiyo gave the signal to attack which then became a bloody massacre of land, sea, and air. “CHARRRRRRRRRGEEEEEE!!!” yelled Edd. “This is for ruining my day! Let’s get ‘em boys!” yelled Eduardo. Eduardo, Jon, Mark, Todd, and Hellucard ran towards one of the advancing squads of the Black Army only to quickly turn back around in fear. “RETREAT!!!” screamed Eduardo.

Future Edd who was standing on high ground only facepalmed at the sight of seeing Eduardo and his group running away. “Are you for real? Everyone should know that charging randomly at an incoming army isn’t a good plan” said Future Edd. “Edd, you need to focus” said Future Tom. “You’re right Tom. Do you two have your pistols ready?” asked Future Edd. “Yep. We’re ready for your command” said Future Matt with a slight nod. “Let’s fry some enemy scums” said Future Edd as he put sunglasses on.

The future trio put up of all of their pistols and pointed them at approaching forces before firing out separate multi colored lasers thus managing to disintegrate the soldiers of the Black Army completely. “No fair!” yelled Tony as he slammed a fist down on the control panel in anger. “What’s not fair, my fearsome leader?” asked the lead scientist. “Vhy iz zhere no more ice cream!?” asked Tony as he faced the lead scientist. “Oh….I don’t know. For a minute there, I thought you were talking about those laser pistols” said the lead scientist. “I vas referring to zhat as vell but forget it. It’s time to use zhe orbital power drill” said Tony.

“Ow…my lip….it’s so cold” said Matt. “Look vho’s starting to thaw out just in time to see jour friends lose” said Tony as he came over to Matt. “Tony listen to me, you don’t-Ah!” yelped Matt as he got slapped by Tony. “Shut up” said Tony. Tony then goes back the control panel before pressing a couple buttons only to finish it off by pressing a large orange button. “Heads up ya’ll, we got trouble” said Sheriff Thompson.

“Wait….I thought you put gum onto that power drill” said Tom. “I did but I didn’t say that it’ll stick” said Edd. There was some slight pause only for it end as a large red drill came out of the bottom of Tony’s spaceship in rapid speed only for it to get caught in the hands of Tord’s giant robot. “Tord!?” said both Edd and Tom in unison. “Vhat zhe- oh no, no, no, how iz he doing zhis? Iz he out of his mind?” asked Tony as he kept pressing buttons as an attempt to get Tord to let go of the drill. “Tord sure has a way of expressing himself even though he looks gross with those burn marks on his face. Say, is that a tint of sweat on your face?” asked Matt.

Tony runs a hand through his own hair before realizing how badly he’s sweating. “Zhat’s it! I’m going to have put an end to zhis tomfoolery” said Tony. “I can’t believe that I’m doing this but hey, I’m actually accomplishing something” said Tord. “Oh really now? Do jou really zhink zhat jour entire army of dorks are capable of defeating me? Tch…I have to say zhat I find it really cute zhat jou’re trying” said Tony as a holographic projection of him is shown standing on one of the shoulders of Tord’s giant robot. “Trying!? The only person who’s trying would be you” said Tord while making eye contact with Tony’s hologram. “Don’t play dumb Red Leader. Look around jou, I clearly have zhe advantage” said Tony.

“Nonsense! My best pilot in my air force will defeat you” said Tord. “Pilot? Are jou referring to zhe pilot zhat’s going to die soon” said Tony. While shooting down the Black Army jets, Patryck was about ready to aid the ground forces only to get nearly taken out of the sky by Blueberry who had his own jet. “Long time no seen you stupid Red Army pilot. Remember me?” asked Blueberry. “You again!? I have no time to play your games today” said Patryck. The two pilots duked it out in an epic sky battle as they attempted to shoot each other down by a rain of bullets and missiles.

It ended up with Patryck trying to fly in different directions just to confuse Blueberry. “I think that this should be enough for me to take this guy- Wah!” yelled Patryck as Blueberry came out of nowhere and managed to destroy one of the wings on Patryck’s jet. Patryck kept control of his jet before firing bullets at Blueberry’s jet this destroying the full wing of his jet. “Bingo. Now let’s get out here” said Patryck. Patryck opens the windshield of his jet and gets out with a parachute on his back before jumping. “See vhat did I tell jou? Zhere iz nozhing jou can do but surrender” said Tony.

“I ain’t surrendering to you! I will take out this drill, I will kill your forces, and I’ll defeat you because I, Tord, am the greatest. You’re nothing but second place since you’re basically took my plans of world domination and totally did the opposite” said Tord. “Iz zhat so? You know I tried reasoning vith jou but it didn’t go out so vell. Guess it’s time to do zhis zhe hard vay” said Tony. “What do you mean?” asked Tord. “Jou’ll see soon enough” said Tony just before his hologram disappeared. Back in his spaceship, Tony goes over to a record player before placing the needle down on a record disc that was already in. What Tord was expecting was to get blasted by a ray but he wasn’t this to be heard: Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows, Everything that’s wonderful is what I feel when we’re together, Brighter than a lucky penny, When you’re near the rain cloud disappears, dear, And I feel so fine just to know that you are mine.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! WHHHHYYYYYYYY!? I HATE THIS SONG! AHHHHH!!” screamed Tord as he covered his ears. “How did you know that Tord hates this song?” asked Matt who seemed surprised. “Zhat’s because vhen I vas a child, mein mom used to play zhis song all zhe time vhen she vas drunk. I never had a problem vith zhis song till zhe day she physically abused me vhile zhis song vas playing in zhe background. It explains vhy I act zhe vay I do now” said Tony. “Please don’t let this song go into chorus line. Please I’m begging you, stop it!” yelled Tord. “Heh, mein pleasure” said Tony as he smirked only to turn the volume up.

My life is sunshine, lollipops and rainbows, That’s how this refrain goes, so come on, join in everybody!

Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows, Everything that’s wonderful is sure to come your way When you’re in love to stay.

Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows, Everything that’s wonderful is what I feel when we’re together, Brighter than a lucky penny, When you’re near the rain cloud disappears, dear, And I feel so find just to know that are mine.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!” screamed Tord again. What Tord didn’t realize was even though he was covering his ears with both of his hands, the robot’s grip on the drill was starting go leading the drill to put pressure onto it. “Tord! You need to focus! The drill is going to go right through the robot, killing you, and go through the earth’s crust” said Edd. “It’s no use Edd, Tony has him beaten by a stupid cheerful song” said Tom. “I find jour tolerance for zhis song to be very pathetic und yet so very…..lammmmmmeeeeee” said Tony. “Lame? THAT’S MY LINE!” yelled Tom.

Tom rushes over to a Red Army tank only to put one of his large his harpoons in the tank’s gun before climbing inside of the tank and firing the harpoon. The harpoon soared up in rapid succession and ended up destroying the sound speaker of Tony’s spaceship completely. Tony who noticed this had his visor cover his face in anger while saying, “THEY’RE SO DEAD NOW!!!” “Uh oh…” said Matt. “Hey commie, are you going let some sauerkraut eating, polka loving tyrant beat you with a stupid song or are you going to show Tony who’s boss?” asked Tom. “Tom?” asked Tord as he noticed that Tom was standing on a cliff in front of him.

“Go Tord, go Tord, go Tord” chanted Edd as he ran up the same cliff that Tom was standing on. Soon everyone was chanting Tord’s name in triumph as Tord looked around with a smile forming on his face as a tear came from his eye. Then suddenly Tord gathered up the confidence and took control of his robot just to push back the drill. “Oh yeah! Go me, go me, oh me, it’s my birthday! Take your drill back Black Leader!” said Tord. Tord presses a button causing the robot to fire out a powerful beam which managed to push the drill back and went straight to Tony’s spaceship. Tony’s visor uncovers his face just in time for him to say, “Oh I hate Mondays” before the drill destroys his ship completely.

“We did it!” said Mark. “Good work team” said Tom. “Yeah….but what about Matt?” asked Edd. Back inside Tony’s now destroyed spaceship, the ice around Matt was melting as Tony was seen caught between the large spiraling gears of the drill. “How iz zhis possible? I had an advantage yet I got beaten by a giant robot mixed vith some help by a couple of losers” said Tony as he was trying to free himself. “How is this possible you ask? That’s because it’s called friendship silly” said Matt.

“Friendship!? Oh no don’t jou dare say zhat” said Tony. “I get it now, you’re in so much denial because you just want to be friends with us” said Matt. “I’m not in denial! Vhat are jou talking about? I have friends. I have Yamiyo, no actually she’s just zhe second in command. Zhere’s zhose three solider zhat get zhe job done, oh vait….I yell at zhem at times” said Tony. “You do realize that no matter how much you try you can’t be friends with your fellow soldiers even though that you yell at them right? Take me for an example, I’m friends with Edd, Ringo, Tord, Tom…well sorta but you get the idea” said Matt. “Shut up! Shut up! Jou’re so annoying! No wonder vhy jou don’t make any sense, jou’re zhe biggest dork of zhem all” said Tony. Before Matt could counter to what Tony just said he was interrupted by the warning sounds indicating that the spaceship is going to explode in any minute.

Fearing that they might get killed, Matt manages to free Tony from a trapped space before the two collapses to the ground. Suddenly debris from the spaceships ceiling started coming down as machinery from anything electric bursted out into flames. Out on the battlefield, everyone looked up at sky for what seemed like two minutes just to see Tony’s spaceship blowing up before cheering in victory. “Edd what’s with the sad face? We just saved the world, you should be happy” said Tom. “But Matt…..he was still on Tony’s spaceship” said Edd as he sounded sad. “What are- oh my god look!” said Tom.

“Huh?” asked Edd as he saw a spacepod coming down from the sky. The spacepod landed in front of everyone as the Red Army pointed their guns believing that it was Tony and waited for the door to open. The door opens as Tony steps out of the spacepod just see the row of Red Army soldiers pointing their guns at him just before Matt quickly steps in front of him. “Don’t shoot him! I said don’t shoot!” yelled Matt. “You heard him lower your weapons now” commanded Tord. The soldiers lowered their guns as both Edd and Tom ran over and gave Matt and unexpectedly Tony a big hug.

“Matt thank goodness, you’re alright” said Edd. “Yeah, for a minute there we thought you were dead” said Tom. “I thought so too, but Tony here got us both into a spacepod just before the explosion” said Matt. “Matt…..I knew zhat I should of stayed on zhat spaceship but….vhy vould jou save me? I….I tried harming jour friends und everyone around me, plus I kinda destroyed zhe earth” said Tony. “Destroyed the earth? Oh no, since your spaceship was destroyed any materials that were in the drill got returned back to the earth in one swift blast” said Future Tom. “Tony, even though you did these horrible things, I still see you as a friend. By the way, these people who are here are not your enemies or my friends, they’re your friends now” said Matt.

“Really? Do jou….mean it?” asked Tony. “Yes Tony, I mean it. So what do you say…friend?” asked Matt with a smile. “All I have to say iz zhat….all of jou aren’t just dorks, JOU’RE ALL A BUNCH OF LOSERS!!! Stop hugging me!” yelled Tony as he pushed Edd, Matt, and Tom off of him. “Everyone retreat!” said Yamiyo. All of the Black Army got onto many different helicopters as Tony himself was seen catching onto a ladder when one of them came by before taking off. “Did he just called us all losers?” asked Jon.

“How dare he call us losers. Does he know that I’m Numero Uno? He has a lot of nerve considering the fact he’s nothing but third best” said Eduardo. “Oh cheer up Matt, he’ll turn around eventually but for now we can celebrate with cola” said Edd. “Yeah you’re right” said Matt. “Thanks for blasting that drill right back at Tony’s face, com- I mean Tord” said Tom. “And thanks for stepping up for me Tom especially for that….song” said Tord. “So….are you going to join us in the celebration for saving the world?” asked Tom.

“I would love to but I have work to do. I might swing by and also I have a surprise for you” said Tord. “What is it?” asked Tom. “I can’t tell you, but you’ll find in the old neighborhood” said Tord. “Thank you me for saving the day” said Future Edd. “Thanks future me! Are you going to celebrate with us?” asked Edd. “Unfortunately I can’t. I have to send the Saloonatics back their respective timeline before heading back into the future” said Future Edd.

“Oh I see. I hope that we’ll see each other again” said Edd. “Yeah, let’s not hope on that yet” said Future Edd. Future Edd presses a button on his time watch before he along with Future Tom and Future Matt, including the Saloonatics vanished.

[lbat1901]

Eddsworld: At World's End Chapter 9

The Bad Guy - (Chapter 9)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I don’t think that this was a good idea Matt. I mean look at how high up we are and besides it’s cold on this mountain” said Edd while shivering to simulate the word “cold”. “I know Edd, I know, but it was worth it get a GPS. Now I found that there is something hidden in this mountain” said Matt. “How could you possibly find something that’s basically covered in snow?” asked Edd. “That’s simple! You follow the map that was programmed into the GPS. Oh hey, I found it already” said Matt. Both Edd and Matt found a large door and made of metal at the side of mountain. “Now if I were a large closed metal door, where would my switch be?” asked Matt who was looking for a way to open the door.

“Matt, I don’t think that there’s a to open- oh hey, I found a lever” said Edd. Edd pulls the lever causing the metal door to open. “Nice one Edd! Now let’s see where this door leads us to” said Matt. “It will probably lead us inside the mountain and to its molten core” said Edd. Edd and Matt went through the door and were given quite a surprise. Inside the mountain happened to be a full entire base complete with corridors.

“Uh Matt, I don’t think it was a great idea to go inside. I mean what if we get caught?” asked Edd. “Oh relax Edd. I guarantee you that’s not going to happen” said Matt. Suddenly a row of soldiers appeared and pointed their guns at both Edd and Matt. “Soldiers don’t bother on shooting these two……..outsiders just yet” said Yamiyo who came into the scene. “Oh hi there, nice to meet you. Uh thanks for saving us….hehe” said Edd while smiling nervously. Yamiyo didn’t say anything but only snapped her fingers making three soldiers appear.

“You three take these two lovely people to their cell” said Yamiyo. The three soldiers did what they were told to and took Edd and Matt with them. “Say……uh…Banana, you have a nice name. Is that like your code name or something?” asked Matt. “No, it’s not. My real name is Bryan” said Banana. “Oh okay then…..so what about you two other soldiers?” asked Matt. “My name actually is Ralph which matches with the name Raspberry” said Raspberry.

“And my name is Stephen which doesn’t start with a b as in Blueberry” said Blueberry. “Cool” said Matt. “Uh Matt, I hate to break this little conversation up, but we’re about to become prisoners like we were before. Well technically with Tord, we weren’t, but now we’re definitely prisoners” said Edd. “Nonsense, we can always escape” said Matt. “Alright we’re here, now get inside- oh you got to be kidding me” said Blueberry. “How did they get inside this cell? Just how!?” asked Raspberry.

“Oh it’s not that bad you guys. Look there’s board games” said Banana. “Shut up Bryan!!!!” yelled Blueberry and Raspberry in unison. “Where are we going?” asked Matt while running along side with Edd. “Uh down this hall. I don’t know” said Edd. Eventually Edd and Matt went into a different area which appeared larger and had a lava-like waterfall behind a throne while lava could be seen under the flooring. “Hey we’re in the mountain’s core” said Matt.

“Yeah, but this room appears to be where this whole show is coming from” said Edd. Before they could do anything, they suddenly heard some loud crashing noises along with some angry yelling that sounded like it was in German. The yelling and noises stopped once a familiar face came into the room while wearing a bathrobe and holding a mug in his hands. “Tony! Boy aren’t we glad to see you” said Matt happily. “Edd? Matt? What are you two doing here?” asked Tony who seemed surprised to see them both. “We have the same question for you. What’s with the bathrobe?” asked Edd.

“Oh this? I just came out of a shower. Didn’t you see my outfit on that throne over there?” asked Tony before taking a sip of out of his mug. “Oh really? I guess we didn’t see it. What are you drinking?” asked Matt. “Hot chocolate. Anyway, I’ll be getting my outfit on, so don’t look till I tell you that I’m done” said Tony. Tony then walks passed Edd and Matt to walk up the many stairs leading to the throne as Edd and Matt were covering their eyes. “Okay, you guys can look now” said Tony. “Nice outfit you got there. I really like the helmet addition” said Edd.

“Why thank you Edd. Did you know that I based it off a spartan helmet before adding two long curved horns? I’m just saying that if you’re wondering” said Tony while putting his helmet on his head. “That’s pretty cool to know. So Tony, are you the one that owns this mountain lair along with the soldiers at your own command?” asked Matt. “Yes, yes, and yes. I even got a little surprise for you both. You’re going to love it” said Tony. Tony then snaps his figures making the lava waterfall behind disappear revealing many cells containing all the villains of Eddsworld. “Zanta Claws…..? Commander Bai…..? Why are these- oh my god….future me…err I mean Future Edd” said Edd. Future Edd notices Edd before turning around with his back against the bars of his cell.

Both Future Tom and Matt comfort him but they really couldn’t give him any physical contact due to both of them being in a cell of their own. “Hey there’s a prince that looks exactly like me” said Matt. “Oh really now? Hmm….let’s have a closer look shall we” said Tony. A crane soon appears and took the cell of where Matt pointed out the prince that looked like him. “Hey leave Prince Matthew alone!” yelled Edward Gold. “Take it easy, I have two friends that are just curious, that’s all” said Tony.

“Curious!? Oh I wish I had my gun with me so I can shoot you on the spot” growled Sheriff Thompson. “Yeah, yeah…..oh don’t be afraid little prince, I ain’t going to hurt you” said Tony while offering his hand to Prince Matthew. Prince Matthew who was behind the bars of a cell only whimpered due to being in so much fear. “Oh you poor sweet and precious thing of sunshine. Maybe I’ll talk to you sometime later” said Tony. The crane then puts the cell back to where it was before. “Well okay that was something. So why do you have all of these guys in cells?” asked Edd.

“Because I figured that I can have some buddies just because I can” said Tony. “Ahahaha……good one Tony…heh….you can’t be serious right? Please tell me that you’re not pulling a prank” said Matt. “Hehe….oh Matt, you were always so very….err…what’s the word I’m looking for? Oh yeah, not bright” said Tony. “Again real funny Tony, but seriously though, what’s with the attitude?” asked Edd. “Ha! Attitude you say?….Vhat attitude?” asked Tony as he dropped his accent. “Tony…..your…..your voice…..” said Matt who seemed a little surprised.

“Wait a minute….were you faking an English accent this whole time?” asked Edd. “Vell jou got me zhere. It’s a little too late to put two und two together” said Tony. “All this time we’ve known you, you had to hide your real voice didn’t you? Unbelievable!” said Edd as he was slightly angry. “Uhh Edd…..” said Matt. “What is it Ma- no, no, no, no, no, no,…..NO!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH ALL OF THAT COLA!?” yelled Edd as he saw a large metal crane carrying large shipments of cola over something covered. “Oh only zhis” said Tony.

Tony then pulls a lever causing the floor under the crane to open up revealing a huge pool of lava before having the crane dump all of cola into it thus burning it completely much to Edd’s surprise. “Oh……..my……god….you…you…MONSTER!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?” yelled Edd. Edd then attempted to lunge at Tony but he got held back by Matt. “Ah, I have been vaiting for zhis day to come. After I’ve saved Matt from certain death, I had plans on taking over zhe vorld und I couldn’t have done it vithout jou Matt. Jou’re a real tool am I right?” asked Tony. “Huh? So……saving me from getting killed by a truck was nothing but a hoax? Does that mean….that we’re not friends at all?” asked Matt who seemed a little hurt. “AHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh mein- zhat iz- jou zhink zhat I- vith jou? Oh zhat’s too gut! I mean I feel kinda sorry for jou, but pfft…..tough luck, am I right?” asked Tony before letting out a sigh due to laughing so hard. Matt gave off a sad look as a tear slowly came from his eye and rolled down his cheek while Edd looked at him in both sadness and disbelief.

“Oh zhat vas just….wunderbar….now vhere vas I exactly? Oh yeah……..let me put zhis in a vay zhat jou two dummkopfs vill understand!!!” said Tony. “Eh?” asked Matt. “What the?” asked Edd. Suddenly music starts playing in the background as Tony got up and started dancing while both Edd and Matt looked at each other before looking back at Tony.

I’m not zhe damsel in distress I’m not jour best friend or jour bodyguard I’m not a little bird vho needs jour help to fly Nope….. I’m zhe Black Leader

All zhese former villians zhat jou see Each of zhem, vith shaking knees, has knelt before me So I’m not jour teammate nor jour partner in crime Vhat am I, boys?

“He’s the Black Leader” said all of the prisoners who sounded either afraid or dead inside. Even Prince Matthew who was shaking in fear early got even more scared since his crown got taken by Tony who wore it on his head before throwing it away.

Oh it’s magic To vatch a person Get shot in zhe chest und die…… Oh it’s zhrillin’ To be a villain I kill zheir love ones und zhen I vatch zhem suffer Mwhaha…..

‘Cause I’m the Black Leader!!!

“See I’ve tried to tell them, but they wouldn’t listen” said Tom. “Yeah I see that. Heh, I have to say, Tony’s quite the singer isn’t he?” said Tord. “Tch, like you could do any better than that, commie” said Tom. “What’s going on up there!?” yelled Eduardo. “It seems that there’s somebody having a musical number” said Mark. “Musical number? How come we never had one?” asked Jon. “Shut up Jon!!!” yelled Eduardo. “I think there’s still more to the song” said Hellucard. “Oh geez…….” grumbled Todd.

Oh ain’t it fantastic? I see something, I kill it! And let me tell you why.

I’ve alvays had a veakness For barrenness und bleakness I’ll crush all of jour hopes und dreams und zhen I vatch jou cry

See I find zhis business rather fun! I don’t vant jour concerns or jour adulation! I’ll destroy zhis planet und bid jou all bye-bye! Cuz’ vhy? Oh…….. Come on, GUESS!!!

“Cause you’re the Black Leader?” asked Edd and Matt in unison. “Or, vell…bad boy…” said Tony before laughing evilly as his laughter echoed throughout the lair and out of the mountain.

~Back In The Cell Room~

“It’s about time you’ve gotten us out of here” said Eduardo. “Save it for later, Eduardo” said Tom. “So what’s with the songfest?” asked Mark. “We’re saving Edd and Matt and we’re also planning on defeating the Black Leader” said Tord. “And by "we” you mean just you and Tom, right?“ asked Todd. "Not really. We have been thinking this and we’ve came to an agreement that we might need some help. So what do you say, care to be apart of a rebellion squad?” asked Tom. “Just tell us what to do and we’ll do it” said Eduardo. “That’s the Eduardo that I’m looking for. Let’s get brainstorming” said Tom.

~Meanwhile~

“I can’t believe Tony broke my mirror” said Matt sadly. “And I can’t believe that we’re going to be dumped in lava” said Edd. “Yeah….but my mirror though” said Matt. “I hope zhat jou two are ready to become hot chili because I’m hosting a BBQ” said Tony. Before Tony can give the order of dumping both Edd and Matt into lava, alarms started to go off. “Seriously? Vhat iz zhe meaning of zhis?” asked Tony while sounding unhappy. “Sir, we recently got a report that armed forces are coming to attack the base. We need you for our command” said a soldier who came into the room. “Oh mein gott………fine. I’ll be right zhere, just give me one minute” said Tony.

Tony then makes a gesture making two soldiers come in and take both Edd and Matt into a cell. “Now since jou’re both settled in here, I vant jou to vrite out jour final vishes before being executed. I could use a little "AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” or maybe some “Nein!!! Don’t hurt us!!! Ve’re too young to die!!! VHY!?” or vhatever jou vant to vrite out. I’ll be back for jou later, but for now I have some unfinished business to do. See ya" said Tony before locking the cell door and leaving the room. “This is all my fault…..maybe if I were to be bit stricter than we wouldn’t be in this mess” said Matt. “Oh Matt, don’t say that. It wasn’t your fault because you didn’t know that this was going to happen” said Edd. “I know that, but this is my problem that I need to solve on my own” said Matt.

[lbat1901]

Eddbusters Chapter 10

Help From The Skies - (Chapter 10) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Destroyer was starting to get tired after being constantly thrown or knocked into things. It doesn't help for the fact that he was wasting mostly his energy on fire breathing. The Destroyer took the time to rest for a bit before getting smacked in the face by Satdahrikan's tail. Satdahrikan eventually placed the Destroyer into a headlock in an attempt to stab him with his horn. However, Satdahrikan was interrupted once the Destroyer took a bite at Satdahrikan's stomach. Meanwhile at the top of Big Ben, Hellucard and Crash Zoom were both seen watching the fight unfold. "It seems that both the Destroyer and Satdahrikan are equal in strength. If this keeps up, all of London will be destroyed in the next half hour" said Hellucard. "I'm fully aware of it, Hellucard. However there is nothing to worry about. Surely the Ghostbusters will come up with a way to kill him" said Crash Zoom. Suddenly a bright flash of light appeared right behind them as it took the shape of a large bird with golden feathers. "Oh great, another deity that has the desire to use me to destroy the world. I'll take care of you right now" said Crash Zoom. "Ah, so you are the witch with world destroying powers after all. That explains a lot thanks to your attitude after all. Anyway, sorry for the inconvenience. I am Cendera, one of the three bird kings and yet the strongest who hails all the way from East and Southeast Asia" said Cendera. "Cendera. Hmm....that name does sound familiar. What business do you have with me?" asked Crash Zoom. "Business with you? Ha! I've came all the way to the UK upon hearing a call of help. It seems that you have quite the monster on your hands" said Cendera. "Uh yeah, I do. Is there a way to kill this beast or not?" asked Crash Zoom. "There is only one way, but it requires a setup that is very hard to pull off. Fortunately for you, the other two bird kings will distract Satdahrikan long enough for it to work" said Cendera. Back on the streets of London, Edd and Matt were seen blasting Satdahrikan with photon streams one at a time. Satdahrikan didn't seem to like and decided to chase after them. "Edd?" asked Matt. "What is it, Matt?" asked Edd. "I have been thinking that we should cross the streams" said Matt. "You can't be serious right? Remember what Tom told us? If we were cross the streams than it would be disastrous" said Edd. "Yeah, I know, but it's worth a try" said Matt. "Fine" said Edd. Before the two could do anything, they were suddenly picked up by talons and were placed onto a roof of building. "What the?" asked Edd. The boys looked to see two birds, one had orange and red feathers while the other one had white and blue feathers. "Who are you?" asked Matt. "There's no time for a full explanation, but to keep it short, I am the bird king of fire, Gero" said Gero. "And I am the bird King of water, Tayu. We have came all the way to the UK, just to help you deal with Satdahrikan, a phantom that was responsible for killing millions" said Tayu. "Satdahrikan killed millions?" asked Matt. "Yes. Please take these" said Tayu. Tayu gave a piccolo to Matt while Gero gave a flute to Edd. "We know what you're probably going to say and yes, they're instruments, but not any ordinary instruments. They are sacred tools used to combat against Satdahrikan" said Gero. "Cool, but we don't know how to play instruments though. Uhh.....Edd, do you know how to play a flute?" asked Matt. "I think I do...." said Edd. "Same goes for me, I guess" said Matt. "Regardless if you can play them or not, a tune will come out from them smoothly and loud enough for Satdahrikan to hear. Now if you excuse us, we will give you time to play them" said Gero. Both Gero and Tayu took to the skies to fight Satdahrikan while back on ground level, Tord and Jon were greeted by Cendera who gifted Tord a sword. "You need to understand that a spear like that won't be able to kill Satdahrikan" said Cendera. "And why not?" asked Jon. "Long ago, Satdahrikan was once a statue that was apart of a temple where he acted as a demigod. His purpose was to clean the souls of those who committed sin and those who or didn't have a pure heart. Despite all of this, Satdahrikan was an unfortunate target for black magic turning him into a being known as "The Terrible One" or according to most storytellers, "The Great Horned Demon King". He became violent and ended up killing off many villages before seemly killing off half of the population of both East and Southeast Asia. How he managed to do this is by hunting victims at night and by eating their flesh. He eventually gained the ability to drain souls away" said Cendera. "Yikes! That sounds terrible. What did you do to stop him?" asked Tord. "By hearing the prayers of those who were scared to death and believing that things would become hopeless, I along with my brethren came to the rescue. We used two sacred objects to enrage Satdahrikan long enough to hold him back as a dragon managed to slice Satdahrikan right in half with the same sword that you are holding right now. Once Satdahrikan was sliced in half, I've used two stone jars that were capable of sealing both of his halves away. After that, we were tasked to keep the jars far away from each other due to the fear of Satdahrikan becoming whole again" said Cendera. "I see. So...that's the purpose of those two jars then. It's all my fault. If I haven't known that before finding them none of this would've happened" said Jon. "It's not your fault my child. We all make mistakes, but we learn best from them in order to solve them" said Cendera. "You're absolutely right" said Jon. "So what's the plan?" asked Tord. "I'm hoping that both Gero and Tayu have given your friends a flute and a piccolo to them respectively so that Satdahrikan will be weaken. Once that happens, I will create another jar and seal Satdahrikan within it" said Cendera. "Sounds like a plan" said Tord. Matt begins to play the piccolo as a tune came from it which seemly made Satdahrikan angry. This was a sign for a flame covered up Gero to breathe fire which pushed Satdahrikan back. By doing this, Tayu who's body is all ice fired off an icy breathe which freezes Satdahrikan's lower body leaving nothing but the tail. Before Tayu could cover Satdahrikan in even more ice, he was suddenly struck forcefully by Satdahrikan's tail which destroyed his body. However, it turns out that the ice around Tayu's body was a shell for his watery body form. Tayu then regenerates his icy body within a matter of seconds. As Matt continued to play the piccolo, Satdahrikan was eventually standing in place as Gero approached him with a jar in his talons. "For the past 2,000 years, all you've done was cause nothing but harm. You've killed millions of innocent lives. You've even destroyed homes and entire villages. What have they done to deserve such a punishment like that? Exactly....nothing" said Cendera. Satdahrikan roars as he tried to back away from Cendera but ended up received a stream of fire to the face by Gero not shortly after getting frozen into place by Tayu. As Matt kept playing, Cendera used his all of his power to seal Satdahrikan into the jar. Once doing this, Cendera came down to where Tord and Jon were at. "Are you okay?" asked Jon. "Yes, I'm fine. Quickly Tord, I want you to use the sword to destroy the jar along with me" said Cendera. "What..?...But...but why?" asked Tord. "There's no time for questions, unless you want Satdahrikan to keep destroying things" said Cendera. "O-Okay....I'll do it" said Tord. Tord takes the sword out of its stealth as Jon gave him an uneasy look. "Thank you Tord. Thanks to you and your friends, there is still hope in the world" said Cendera. Tord readies himself to strike Cendera along with the jar, but he stops the blade just a few inches from Cendera's neck. "I...I..I can't do this! I'm really sorry, but I can't kill you. Not like this" said Tord as tears started to flow from his eyes. Before Cendera could say anything to Tord, the jar suddenly started to shake rapidly before exploding, releasing Satdahrikan in the process. Satdahrikan, who was free, immediately grabbed Gero with one of his bare hands before swiftly taking out Tayu with his tail. As Tayu caught himself from falling, he wasn't prepared to have Gero thrown at him as the two crashed into a building. "I think we've made him angry...." said Matt. "Yeah, no kidding!" said Edd. Out of nowhere, the Destroyer throws a bus at Satdahrikan which made him roar even more angrier. Tord then climbs up the Destroyer's back where he now stands on his head which surprised the Destroyer a bit. "Tord, what are you doing?" asked Edd. "What does it look like I'm doing? Guys, he has a weakness. If we just make him angry, he would be opened for us to attack him" said Tord. "Tord's right" said Matt. "We need to play the instruments, but this time together" said Edd. Both Edd and Matt played the flute and the piccolo as Satdahrikan roared again. "Hey, Satdahrikan! Come get us, if you want to die that is" said Tord. Satdahrikan roars at this and takes charge at Tord which the Destroyer dodges, but one of Satdahrikan's nails managed to cut the right side of Tord's cheek. "Ooh....struck a nerve?" asked Tord. Satdahrikan roars again as he attempted to hit Tord with a fist, but the Destroyer manages to catch it. "You call that a punch? I can't believe you call yourself "The Terrible One" and yet you punch like a weakling? You have to do a whole lot better than that" said Tord. Satdahrikan recoils back as he roared taking what Tord said as an insult. "Awww....how cute. Are we admitting defeat already? Don't quit now, we're just getting started" said Tord. Satdahrikan gives Tord an angry stare of death as he roared not really taking what Tord said to heart. "That's right. Just keep on roaring. I just want to remind you that I'm still alive!" said Tord. Satdahrikan goes in for another punch at Tord, but this gave the Destroyer an opportunity to move forward as Satdahrikan's fist made contact with the ground. As the Destroyer was close enough to Satdahrikan, Tord uses the sword to make a slashing movement which manages to cut the flesh of a shocked Satdahrikan's torso and stomach. The cut was wide enough to cause a stream of golden energy to put a large hole through Satdahrikan's stomach as Satdahrikan roars in agonizing pain. Not long afterwards, the golden stream that was going through Satdahrikan formed into a golden dragon and not just any dragon, it was the same dragon that Cendera gave the sword to. The dragon wraps itself around Satdahrikan's entire body before it fired of a jet wave of fire causing a huge explosion. It took awhile for the dust to settle down, but once it cleared, Satdahrikan and the Destroyer were nowhere to be seen. The only thing that was left were now the two charcoal bodies of Malrido and Holvisk and rubble of destroyed buildings. Tord and Jon walked around as Edd and Matt who came down. Suddenly, something comes up from the rubble revealing Tom. "Tom!" said Matt as he ran over and gave Tom a big hug. "What the?" asked Tom. "It's great to see you again. Where were you? You've missed all the action" said Edd. "Ah really? ......Lame" said Tom. "Thank you Ghostbusters. It's because of you, Satdahrikan has reverted back into his original form as a statue" said Cendera. "Absolutely no problem!" said Jon. "We won't be needing the sword or the instruments. They are now under your supervision as a sign of our thanks" said Gero. "Farewell. We hope to cross paths with you again someday" said Tayu. And with that the three bird kings took off into the sky and off into the distance till they couldn't be seen. As they were gone from everyone's view, a groan was heard. The Ghostbusters turned their attention to the dead body of Holvisk as Jon approached it and used his hands to break the weakened flesh off. It turns out that by doing this, Jon actually freed an unconscious Eduardo. "Oh my god, he's alive" said Jon. "Help! Someone? Anyone? Please get me out of here. It's dark and scary. I want to go home......" said Mark. "It seems that Mark needs to be rescued" said Edd. Edd, Tom, and Matt ripped the flash off of Malrido thus freeing a panicking Mark. The next day, the Buckingham Palace was surrounded by the citizens of London who were all waiting for something to come out of the doors. A few minutes later, they all cheered once they saw the Ghostbusters walking out along side with the queen and the mayor. The Ghostbusters were then awarded medals of honor by the mayor shortly before they walked towards the Ectomobile and placed their photon packs into a side compartment. Out of nowhere, Jon was trying to get to Edd, Matt, Tom, and Tord as the police officers took him away along with escorting Eduardo and Mark to a medical team. "Hey wait, I'm one of them. I'm a hero you know" said Jon. "Oh shut up Jon....." said Eduardo. Edd, Tom, Matt, and Tord all waved towards the crowd as they gave people their autographs plus some got a selfie with Matt. Afterwards, the four got into the Ectomobile with Tom at wheel before taking off with sirens going into the sunset.

[lbat1901]

Eddbusters Chapter 7

The Top Of Big Ben - (Chapter 7) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dark clouds were seen forming in the sky as they darken the city of London. Thanks to following the advice of Tord, all the ciztens managed to evacuate leaving Edd, Tom, and Matt to save the world. The trio were seen climbing up the stairs that lead up to the top of Big Ben. "Oh god.....why does this place have so many stairs?" asked Edd. "I don't know Edd. I wasn't the person in charge of building this thing" said Tom. "Are we there yet?" asked Matt. "No Matt, we're not" said Tom. Matt lets out a disappointing cry as the trio made their way up on even more stairs. Meanwhile at the firehouse, Tord was seen getting stuff with Jon as Laurel was helping them out. "Hey, what's with that look on your face?" asked Laurel. "Oh nothing really. I thought that I could get a job at being a Ghostbuster, but instead I got tasked to evacuate people and take care of stuff around here like some janitor" said Tord. "Oh I see. What were you doing before this?" asked Laurel. "I was working on getting badges because I'm a Boy Scout. I ended up nearly killing an old lady with her own cat. The cat was stuck in a tree by the way" said Tord. "I understand where you're coming from. I wanted to help in order to save my friends" said Jon. "Yeah we know. Now go get your stuff together so we get out of here" said Laurel. Jon goes into another room where he kept the two stone jars at before realizing that one of them was missing. Jon frantically looks around the room for it, before suddenly hearing a loud sound coming from outside. Jon quickly runs out of the room, passing by both Tord and Laurel, and heads outside to see a lower portion of a creature's body stomping down the street. The jar that was in his hands suddenly reacted as Jon was trying to keep it from breaking. Eventually, Tord and Laurel came outside in time. "Jon, what's wrong?" asked Tord. "Ahh! I can't hold this forever anymore" said Jon. "Hold what?" asked Tord. Before Jon could respond to Tord's question, the jar in his arms suddenly flew out of his grip before breaking. Once the jar broke, a white swirling cloud of mist came out of shards before going to the lower portion as surrounds it, thus forming a creature with red glowing eyes that had the head of a unicorn. It had a horn on its forehead and another on its snout, a muscular body of a human, and a long white tail. It stood on its back hooves and it had fur covering its legs. "What is that thing?" asked Tord. "Whatever it is, it's ugly and it's obviously not a good sign" said Laurel. "Take cover!" yelled Jon. Jon, Tord, and Laurel took cover in an alleyway as the creature roared before letting out a jet stream of fire from its mouth, burning everything around it to a crisp. The creature then goes away ignoring the fact that Tord, Jon, and Laurel came out of their hiding spot. "Looks like we got even more trouble on our hands" said Tord. "Yeah we do, but you guys need to suit up" said Laurel. "Wait what? But we're not qualified in catching ghosts though" said Jon. "Who says that you need to be qualified to catch ghosts? Come on" said Laurel. Laurel takes both Jon and Tord to a special room that contained the Ghostbuster suits and photon packs and began suiting Jon up. Tord helped getting Jon's photon pack on his back. "So how does it feel to be one of them?" asked Laurel. "How do I feel? I was born ready for this job" said Jon. "Now then, let's save the world" said Tord. "Right!" said Jon. [On The Rooftop of Big Ben] After a couple of minutes of walking up many flights of stairs, Edd, Tom, and Matt eventually made to the rooftop of Big Ben only to see clouds that are dark purple in coloration. "We made it, yay" said Edd. "The scanner says that paranormal activity is very high up on its already existing scale. Luckily, we've made it in time" said Tom. "Well then, why are we standing here for? Let's end this" said Matt. The trio goes up a ladder and once reaching higher ground, they saw a green door that appeared to lead to somewhere. "What is that thing?" asked Edd. "It appears to be a door leading to a temple that probably belongs to that destruction being" said Tom. "Cool! Yo, spirit! Are you home?" asked Matt. "Wait Matt, no!" said Edd. Despite Edd pulling Matt away from the door, it was too late. Lightning strikes as the door reacted to what Matt said as magenta colored mist came out of nowhere and surrounded the path to the door. The mist disappears as mysterious figure stepped out of it. The figure had an appearance of a small girl with blonde hair wearing a purple hooded cloak. "Look guys, it's a little girl. Isn't she cute?" asked Matt. "Uhh....Matt, I don't think you should be calling her cute" said Tom. "Yeah, she's the being of destruction" said Edd. "Ah come on guys, she doesn't look all that scary. Here I'll show you. Hey there, I'm Matt and you are?" asked Matt. "Are you a god?" asked the girl. "Uh....no...?" said Matt with a confused look on his face. "Then.....DIE!!!" yelled the girl. Before the trio could do anything, the girl suddenly shoots lightning at them which made them all run around in circles. "Why would you say no!?" asked Edd. "I don't know! A little girl like her shouldn't ask strangers questions" said Matt. "THE ENTITY OF DESTRUCTION HAS COME!!!" said the girl as she lets out an evil laugh. "Yo Kate, it's great to see you again. How's it going?" asked a voice. Everyone looks up as they saw the same yellow ghost from the hotel coming down from the sky. "How many times do I have to tell you to not call me that, Hellucard?" asked the girl. "Aww, but that's how I address you every time we see each other" said Hellucard. "Wait a minute.....you had a name the whole entire time?" asked Edd. "Of course I did. You guys never asked for it. Instead you just chased after me till you've caught me" said Hellucard. "Well you have a point. So.....Kate's your name right?" asked Matt. "No it's not. I go as the mysterious little girl or witch" said the girl. "Sounds boring. Oh I know, I'll call you Crash Zoom" said Matt. "Did I ask for your naming suggestions? No I did not" said Crash Zoom. "Anyway! .....Crash Zoom, we've came all this way to see you" said Edd. "See me? Ah, that I'm aware of. Let me guess, both Malrido and Holvisk, you know these two highly dangerous phantoms, are dying to use me for ending the world? Well I got news for them, I'm not doing a single thing" said Crash Zoom. "That's great! We were wondering if you'll be willing to help us kill them off" said Tom. "Yes, I will you help you. In order to do this, I need you to keep them from reaching here. No need to worry on how to do it since I'll be lending my powers to you. Now with that out the way, I want one of you three to choose the form of the destroyer, but hear this: you need to pick wisely and carefully" said Crash Zoom. "Hmm.....I understand you loud and clear. Let's get it on!" said Matt. "It shall by done. The form for the destroyer has been chosen so it can be its host" said Crash Zoom. "But I didn't tell you on what or who the host should be" said Matt. "True, but I ended up reading your mind anyway. Now head down from here and prepare to fight both Malrido and Holsivk" said Crash Zoom. "Okay" said Edd.