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danveresque · 2 years ago

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SO! A while back I watched this smashing show called Guardian. Seeing as Twitter is imploding or something at the moment, here is that thread of tweets as I really did rather enjoy that show.

To begin my #Guardian thread, I'd just like to say, helloooooo motor-bike guy, I am already hoping you're going to be ruffling up that neat neat Shen Wei chap.

2. [enters the Special Investigations Department of the #Guardian]. Uh oh.

3. Just #GuardianEpisode1 and 2 dudes stroking a cat between them

4. Oh no

5. Ugh. Zhao Yunlan sitting on desks and sucking lollipops and being all heeey I'm so cool. Which he is. I'm already #teamthisguy. Dear Shen Wei, Zhao Yunlan looks like the kind of person who is going to hear you call yourself ordinary and respond by assuming the opposite is true.

6. The opposite of that look is true

7. Unh??? 0.0 Hmmm

8. Whatwhatwhat???

9. Yeah, I mean, I'll just watch however many episodes of whatever's happening here

10. I like how the first ten minutes of #GuardianEpisode2 seem to be Zhao Yunlan trying to find out if Shen Wei is single and them arranging to go out on a date, or at least I think that's what happened. #Guardian

11. So #GuardianEpisode2 really gives me Merlin vibes, with Shen Wei disappearing in order to magic. Zhao Yunlan also has an Arthuresque leadership style (brash and confident). The episode plot with Li Qian and her grandmother tho. Very moving. Is Chu the Han Ying to SW's ZZS? :D

12. The only thing I care about in #GuardianEpisode3 is this scene. And all the other scenes with these two. #Guardian

13. Watching #GuardianEpisode4 (it's taking a while because I'm also watching the Hot Neighbour Does Mundane Things And Somehow Makes Them Hot show). Once again, it's making me think of Sanctuary a lot.

14. No need to walk that close, no need at all. #GuardianEpisode4

15. Exhibit A: Longing face #GuardianEpisode4

16. That was a very long walk in the park scene. I approve. #GuardianEpisode4

17. Me watching Zhao Yunlan tell Shen Wei off for pricking his finger: Gooood. Verry goood. #GuardianEpisode4

18. Oh noes, I made him mad face. Wonderful #GuardianEpisode4

19. This era, whenever it is, must be what all the fic is about, right? #GuardianEpisode4

20. In #GuardianEpisode5, a question the audience already has the answer to is asked.

21. Apparently this show has some pretty dodgy CGI, but watching #GuardianEpisode6, I didn't really notice that to be the case...

22. Every show has a bunch of episodes that are THE EPISODES, the ones that establish canon (as in an actual canon that fires heavy balls of fic-plotting into fandom). #GuardianEpisode7 must absolutely be one of those canon balls.

23. Oh man, I adore this scene. ADORE.

24. Okay. #GuardianEpisode8 is THE EPISODE of THE EPISODES. Shen Wei being so mad at Zhao Yunlan self-neglect is so gooood. Also, him trying not to hurl every time he opens the fridge is hi-larious.

25. This scene though is so SO good because only someone who loves you will ever get THAT mad at you for neglecting yourself. And therefore...Shen Wei has loved this man

26. Mmm yes, more #Guardian time. Now the bar has been set and it is called "my fave episode, episode 9". Even #GuardianEpisode10 doesn't raise the bar just yet. Also Zhao Yunlan is SO annoying I love him he is my favourite LOOK AFTER YOURSELF BETTER YOU IDIOT dreamboat

27. Ah yes, I has developed gut feelings about my fave, which is why as soon as I saw that jacket on him, I was like, hmmmm 🧐 And then I was like aaahhhh 🥰 And Shei Wen was like 😶

28. Yeah, #GuardianEpisode11 kicked the bar so hard it hit my face and gave me a nosebleed. Shen Wei drinking for Zhao Yunlan because who else is going to stop this idiot from being an idiot? 😭 And then and then and then 😭

29. Fucking hell I absolutely adore this show. #GuardianEpisode12 is all about known unknowns and a little dance of pretending and guessing. I love this scene. I have included my fanficcer reaction at the end.

30. Errmahgad. #GuardianEpisode13 was 😍 All those moments Shen Wei looked like he was going to crack under the strain of however many years he's been carrying around his secrets and his feelings. And Zhao Yunlan's frustration at the beginning of the ep was just 👌 Love this episode

31. Perfect. They're living across the hall *and* working together in #GuardianEpisode14. There must be at least a 1000 fics devoted to just this episode (please). I need that #Guardian translation yesterday.

32. Have glomped another 8 episodes of #Guardian. Fave bits upcoming. In #GuardianEpisode15 we have Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan hanging out glasses and shoes off all cozy like, and then Zhao Yunlan talking about repaying debts, making Shen Wei swallow nervously 😏

33. Also in this episode Old Chu brooding at Olympic level which was just lovely. I particularly liked tho that Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan feel even more joint at the hip in this episode.

34. In #GuardianEpisode16 Zhao Daddy turns up. Typical that carefree flippant guys are the product of dicks for dads. Loved the time in Dixing, which is an intense place. Particularly enjoyed Zhao Yunlan in peril the entire time he was in Dixing and loved the flirting pillar.

35. In #GuardianEpisode17 as sad as Zhao Yunlan's backstory was, my Ghostbusters related love of fireman's poles (shut up) was stoked by the fact that Zhao Yunlan has one that goes from the library to his office. I want that for my next job, a library-to-office pole.

36. As much as I do like Old Chu and his biceps and brooding, #GuardianEpisode18 was probably the first ep where my concentration wavered because I'm just 100% only obsessed with WeiLan and occasionally find catboy very amusing and obviously Chuceps and Chubrooding.

37. I do not remember anything about #GuardianEpisode19 other than this scene and it's because I don't want to or need to remember anything else about this episode except for how angry Shen Wei is with this idiot he clearly loves beyond measure.

38. AND THEN #GUARDIANEPISODE20. Omg. Ye Zun. [whispers] omg. Also, Zhao Yunlan may or may not have known how Shen Wei would come, but he knew Shen Wei would come. 🤗

39. In #GuardianEpisode21 Zhao Yunlan is blind and Shen Wei walks around looking even more of a pressure cooker than usual. 10,000 years of feelings clammed up inside him while he watches Zhao Yunlan act like a dick on the regular, probably wanting to both kiss and throttle him 😏

40. In #GuardianEpisode22 when the doctor asks Shen Wei to kneel 😶 Shen Wei doing this for Zhao Yunlan's sake says a lot. But kneeling is nothing. Shen Wei would probably do anything for Zhao Yunlan 😭

41. THIS SCENE in #GuardianEpisode23! I saw this scene floating around Twitter ages ago and wondered what gay movie it was from. Now I know which gay movie it's from. Also, OMG, THIS SCENE. Oh Shen Wei [sad-face sigh]. He would do anything for Zhao Yunlan [shakes head, searching AO3]

42. I'm over halfway through #Guardian now and very sad about it almost being over :( There's so much I love about this show: the main pair and their history, the team, the little team HQ, the weekly case. Top comfort telly. Also, I love this thread: https://twitter.com/ladysisyphus/status/1503784153178947591

43. So #GuardianEpisode24 felt very filler-ep but with some nice bits (Zhao Yunlan really defeated his mind-controlled team with a feather duster 😂). Love the fact Shen Wei just seems to be living with Zhao Yunlan these days. The bomb disposal scene was a nice moment too 😏

44. Ok. #GuardianEpisode25 was quite a wild ride. But at least Zhao Yunlan pointed out that Shen Wei practically lives with him. Also there was this.

45. There's a lot to talk about in #GuardianEpisode26 (Daqing remembering Kunlun, Shen Wei seeing someone he killed and being all 'oh, glad to see you alive'), but my brain pretty much ground to a halt here. He just gonna sit there and watch over him. Right 😭

45. I do like Lin Jing and this was a nice episode for his character (quite sweet actually). But I would be lying if I said I cared about anything in #GuardianEpisode27 other than this (whispers: because you are two sides of the same coiiin...maybeee?)

46. Poor Zhao Yunlan in #GuardianEpisode28 with his dad missing and omg Shen Wei is not healing, this is it, this is the road to the inevitable miserable ending. But at least Shen Wei is back to being a good bro watching over his stupid bro. I hate this show 😭

47. Oh it's all kicking off in #GuardianEpisode29. Ye Zun is gearing up to be a pain in the butt (also, I love me an energy monster promising peril for all, delicious). There's also this bro kiss before everything goes tits up I'm guessing.

48. Lin Jing nooooooooooooooooo ;_: Waaaaait a second. Has he gone double double agent? I can see Zhao Yunlan patting himself on the back for a plan like that. Also, Shen Wei nooooooooo. Everything is falling apart. Love it. Gowan Ye Zun. #GuardianEpisode30.

49. Aww #GuardianEpisode31 was good. Poor Zhu Hong. She said how she felt and Zhao Yunlun was not a jerk about it. I dunno, I really liked this episode, it was soft. Also the fact that she asked whether she could never take Shen Wei's place in his heart? That was wow.

50. Eps 32 & 33 of #Guardian were awesome. Chu is very much a Teal'c character. Strong & silent and any humour comes from his masculinity. But then on character-centric eps it's A game. Chu's grief and emotional chaos is devastating. I was glued to the screen. Mingyang Jiang is fab.

51. Just rewatching #GuardianEpisode33 and love this scene 🥰

52. Aw, #GuardianEpisode34 opens with some sad-sweet Chu/Xia Guo 😥 And they're shutting down the SID! Oh man, the unravelling continues. Of course Zhao Yunlan is going to go get the Hallows and get into peril. eye twitches at number of episodes remaining

53. Remarkable. Zhu Zhilong seems to with bare minimum effort create a whole new vibe with Ye Zun. The smile, the gait (me walking to A03 looking for Ye Zun/Zhao Yunlun). This bit tho 😆 Is this what Ye Zun thinks goes on between Shen Wei and his BF? Love it!

54. Has reached the end of #GuardianEpisode34 and Is unable to compose coherent tweet at this time without saying things like WHAT? WHAAAAAAAAAT? Is this less or more sad than what I had envisioned? Whaaaaaat...

55. Send help. I have been kniiiiiiived [sigh] Oh Shen Wei 😭

56. Me trying to work today: Oh man, I think Shen Wei took a total of five minutes to fall in love with Zhao Yunlun. And why not? I would have. Dropping through a wormhole made Zhao Yunlan about trillion times even more charming than usual. #Guardian has fucked up my whole week.

57. Just watched #GuardianEpisode35 and I think from here to the end I'm just going to be sighing and saying 'Shen Wei' alot. Also, Zhao Yunlan must have fallen in love twice. Once with Prof Shen Wei, and once with this sweet bebe envoy.

58. I am charmed by this show I tell you, charmed

59. This guy literally held onto a scrap of Zhao Yunlan. He literally gathered the dust from Yunlan's feet as a memento. 10,000 years of hero worship. [makes motion of knifing self]

60. Oh Ye Zun. #GuardianEpisode36 truly giveth with the cane wielding smirky villain. Absolute Loki vibes. [sighs] Can't believe I'll be reading all the Ye Zun/Zhao Yunlun fic before the Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlun/Kunlun fic. Actually, no, that's pretty on brand, I can believe it.

61. Xia Guo has the absolute most miserable super power poor thing. Of course Zhao Yunlun had the lantern amongst random tat. Lin Jing, world wide handsome of SID, literally somewhere inside of Ye Zun 🤣 Luvvit! #GuardianEpisode37

62. There's a lot of good stuff in #GuardianEpiside38 in terms of team and peripheral characters and overall arc. But do I give two fucks about this? No, because THIS

63. I love #GuardianEpiside39. There's so much good stuff in this from the opening with Zhao Yunlun just losing it over Shen Wei, then the good guy/bad guy tango between him and Ye Zun, ending with TeamSID back by his side. Below tho, I could watch two seasons of that back and forth.

64. Oh ffs Zhao Yunlun, we all know who would be so stupid. It's you! You are stupid! 😭

65. Well that's it, #GuardianEpisode40 is over. What to say. Okay, it's not the most polished thing ever. There are some things that clearly got changed in post-production for whatever reasons which stick out. The CGI, sure. But, I really have zero shits for any of that.

66. I love #Guardian whole-heartedly. I love the cast/characters. I love the format with a team and their cool HQ, and some mysterious guy becoming a kind of member of that team. The primary characters have so much charisma and chemistry to boot, you can't help but love them.

67. Though the overall arc is important and the cases drive the series forward, it was the interpersonal relationships that made me watch, and the fact that those relationships are given time. Characters being tender with each other is my kink ok? This show has a ton of it.

68. Then there is #WeiLan. I love the idea of Zhao Yunlun having some odd sense of the future (maybe it's a collapsing universe and things run backwards and remembers the future). Zhao Yunlun as Kunlun is just...I dunno, it just seems obvious that Shen Wei would be instantly besotted

69. I also have this obsessive thought that after meeting the sweet bebe envoy, Zhao Yunlun sees more of the man he left behind and less of the professor (whilst seeing both). It seems that Shen Wei charms him twice, but harder on the second first meeting.

70. Anyway, many thoughts, many fics to read, cannot wait. To reiterate, love the show. It gave me a lot of Merlin vibes as in all the flaws were more than made up for by performances. The ending was beautifully tragic, but it's ok, they will find each other again, right? Right??

71. And so ends my #Guardian thread. Some of my fave bits below.

#guardian #zhao yunlan #shen wei #weilan #danvblr

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onlyhereforangst · 4 years ago

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WWR

i mean i only had three weeks to get it done so naturally i’m finishing it three days before the next ep airs, would you expect anything less?

Ok we start off hot with a subtly jealous Nick scene and I love it. Ellie is like stunned that such a thing even exists “a covid crush” because lets be honest, she probably has no eyes for anyone else at this point - even if it’s been a YEAR (well 10ish months) a whole ass YEAR since the jail cell scene and can I just tell you I am mad about that. Why they do us dirty and skip a whole dang year?? Why can’t we quick flash forward every couple of months?? I mean I know it has felt like an entire year has gone by in a week, RIP 2020 no one will miss you, but like I wanted to see it 😩 and I better get at least some kind of explanation for whatever the F has gone down between these two from “well what are we gonna to about that as we stand 5 inches apart” to now. I demand this explanation.

Anyways, back on track here - Nick is jealllllllous BUT different kind of jealous for this man because for once he’s not all dark and broody about it. He’s over here willingly, *willingly* bringing up said jealousy aaaand he’s smiling about it (!!!) because despite them still not being together (where’s the Gibbs’ headslap when you actually need it amiright) he’s not worried about this crush. He knows her feelings and his so it’s like yeah I’m a little jealous but also I’m gooood, I got this one in the bag 😏 (also can I just say I need Ellie to show him he does not in fact ‘have this in the bag’ if he’s gonna act like a little shit and push her away).

This whole thing about babysitting and not wanting to take care of other living beings is very very very interesting considering they both loved taking care of Charlie (Cody, I blame this on pregnancy brain thank you @thekeyboardninja) in the end AND EVEN TALKED ABOUT PARENTING EVENTUALLY. So like, where did we backtrack??? Excuse me who allowed you to do such things. I’m feeling like they likely backtracked (this was s16 after all) because once again, the dust settled after their super close vulnerable moment and they went and hid behind those stupid walls they both have and somehow convinced themselves that being alone was better for them. IT’S A LIE YALL IT’S A LIE. You being together and taking care of each other is exactly what you need and it’ll be perfect and amazing and just DO IT ALREADY 😭

The team moment with Jimmy is so 🥺 and throughout the episode. I’m not going to touch on that stuff much because this is ellick focused but also because I truly do not need to sob again (even if I called Breena dying from covid like months ago and knew exactly what was coming with all of it but you know, I still cry, it’s fine, I’m fine).

Ellie knowing Gibbs uses a weighted blanket and Nick doubting her is just comical to me 😂 mini side note before we get into how they have a thiiiiiing and it’s called always getting dibs on the elevator in tandem for months and McGee HOW CAN YOU NOT TELL. These two are so in sync even if they are still spectacularly failing at talking this out & taking that next step. Also months of Gibbs riding down the elevator with just those two…….the third wheeling must be slowly killing the old dude, give him a break you two.

Tell me why these two have the exact same stance in the bullpen- could you be more obvious?? You rubbing off on each other. And then the walking up to the barbershop scene I caaaan’t. Ellie is SO flirty. Like so flirty. Who is this new Ellie and why do I love her so much. But Nick gives it right back too and her little giggle with shoulder shrug is just perfect. She’s fiiiiinally letting herself *feel* more and let it be out in the open and it’s just so great. I love seeing this character development for her 🥺 walls coming down, being more forward with her flirting and feelings and it’s all I’ve ever needed. Also we’re gonna take a small detour into Nick’s pants I mean the notebook he casually stashes in the front of his jeans like it doesn’t make a person look RIGHT. THERE. Don’t ask me why it’s hot, I don’t know the answers to the universe, it just is. We knoooooow Ellie is loving it’s location there, she wouldn’t mind flirtatiously taking it out at the next stop to “check” where they needed to go. You know, just helping a partner out- don’t worry Nick she’s got it handled 😏😏🔥🔥 Ok back from our detour, when Nick asks if she’s got him and she answers so quickly and almost with the undercurrent of “of course I do how is that even a question I’ll protect you until the day I die” (yes this is what she says), I love.

Ok since when does Nick like puzzles and how does Ellie know this??? He was most certainly NOT a puzzle kind of guy when he first joined the team so are you telling me that maybe Ellie and her nerdiness (come on there’s no way she doesn’t love puzzles) got Nick into puzzles??? Also also also does everyone remember that time in covid lockdown where literally everyone and their mother did five thousand puzzles because we couldn’t leave our houses? Soooooo is this a nod to Ellie & Nick spending some time together doing puzzles (at presumably Ellie’s apartment because she’d be the one to have said puzzles) and turns out Nick loves them even more than she did???? Is this what you’re making me read in between the lines NCIS? Because I am most certainly ok with this.

Ooooooooh-kay this 8pm thing for Nick. SO many possibilities. It’s been confirmed it wasn’t Ellie (which I won’t lie was my immediate wish) via Steven Binder on twitter (which I also won’t lie, my angst heart loves it’s something else). My take is it’s something (not another girl though) personal- I would *love* if it was therapy or some type of personal development thing. I think he realizes over the past year he has involuntarily retreated emotionally from Ellie even if outwardly it doesn’t show (no personal space and continued flirting). I think he *knows* he’s doing it emotionally and yet can’t figure out how to stop himself from doing it- like on the outside of his body watching him make a dumb mistake but unable to change a damn thing. SO I feel like whatever this 8pm thing is will play into that. It’ll somehow be related to Nick diving deeper into himself and trying to get more in touch with the parts of himself he loves to ignore/hide/push down. That could be therapy, a self-help class, getting in touch with family (but I don’t think he would feel the need to get secretive about this. i mean he already brought up Lucia to this dude, why would he all of a sudden be ashamed of a dinner/meeting with his mom or dad or something? i just don’t buy that). But anyways back to the point- it’s something Nick feels the need to hide in shame because that’s how he’s been conditioned as an undercover agent who feels the need to be tough and strong for everyone and being vulnerable is WAY too scary (helloooooo enneagram 8 nice to meet you I’m also an enneagram 8 Nick isn’t it fun).

I don’t know why them talking so casually on the phone, while Nick is getting ready for the day no less is so damn pleasing to me. The simple domesticity of it all because it’s totally something one would do with their spouse is just 🥰🥰 And then their little freaking smiles can THEY NOT. Ellie you like glazed donuts?? Is this some kind of hint? Innuendo? Just a glaringly obvious chance to flirt and you don’t give a rat’s ass you’re in the middle of the bullpen with Gibbs’ listening to your conversation so you’ll take that chance anyways because you’re head over heels for this guy? Either way Nick’s little smirk oof. I think he takes it as all three of those things and he’s *perfectly* ok with it. UNTIL until, there’s always an until with you Nicholas god damn. Ellie nervously asking about NIck’s apartment 🥺 she may be head over heels but she’s still a little shy and unsure. She thought that jail cell moment would break things through for them and yet she’s- not to quote Taylor swift or anything because why on earth would I do that- right where you left her. WHY NICHOLAS WHY. Since we know Ellie has seen and is very familiar with the inner workings of Nick’s apartment come 16x10, I presume he moved, and it sounds like recently. From the looks of this new place it’s niiiiice. For someone who doesn’t like a lot of things (see s14 when he joins team I don’t remember the exact ep sorry) - he sure managed to settle into that apartment quite nicely. It’s furnished well, it’s homey for DC. And if he’s moved into it since after the jail cell, letting Ellie in is likely a big step in his eyes. But we know this has got to be a weird shift for Ellie. Seemingly so comfortable in each others’ spaces and now she hasn’t even been invited over?? Yeah you smell something fishy girl just like I do. Even if Nick has a cute ass smirk at the end of his little charade to hang up the phone. Wipe that smirk off your face sir you owe us I mean Ellie an explanation and a visit to your apartment. SHE WANTS TO BE YOUR HOUSEGUEST. SHE WANTS TO BE IN YOUR HOUSE. SHE WANTS TO BE IN YOUR PANTS WHILE IN THAT HOUSE. JUST LET HER ALREADY. Ok I’m done, moving on.

Ok the guys opening the doors dramatically to let the one (1) woman on the team make a super badASS entrance is just 🔥🔥🔥 yes love it.

Excuse me why does Ellie feel the need to completely turn her body from the rest of the team/bullpen to be 100% faced on Nick. Body language don’t lie bitch I see you. And Nick stealing a glance at Ellie before having to answer McGee’s question about roommates…..interesting, very interesting sir. You thinking about how she’s going to react to some rando being in your apartment AND staying the night before she has?? You thinking about making her a permanent roommate?? But of course he turns to quick humor for a hot sec because this is Nick and then shockingly, like actually shockingly (is this that personal development, soul-searching, deep dive into emotional wonderland rubbing off on him??? Is it working is this foreshadowing???) he goes and gets deep on ‘em. And McGee calls him on it and I love it, I really think this is some foreshadowing here. I think we’re seeing some of the work Nick is doing on himself, getting himself ready for as serious as a relationship as he knows it’ll be with Ellie, paying off. He’s thinking about ~*emotional*~ consequences to actions and OOF yes. The growth, I live for the fucking growth. “It’s not easy to get through the tough transitions on your own” you say as you literally tried to do that for actual YEARS until you met this team. Until you met Ellie. Until you realized that emotional fallout was a real thing and you my friend are a terrible victim to it. Because guess what- exhibit A is right here about to ask you to dinner and you gonna turn her down. You quite literally tried to get through a tough transition (re: Ellie’s kidnapping & the two bombs) by yourself. That dust settled and you immediately emotionally retreated, not physically- emotionally. You went back to what you always knew, the lone wolf on your own, endure the tough transition. And yes you’ve been doing some work on yourself, but now- now you realize it. You can’t do work on yourself alone. You can’t go through this shit alone. You need your support system- your person. But that thought truly terrifies you. You’ve realized it but are you ready to act on it? Not quite yet. You might be close, but you still can’t bring yourself to be honest with her yet. When Ellie nervously asks Nick if he wants to grab a bite you can feel her start to (it’s probably been there quite a while but she’s tried to ignore the feeling of him emotionally shutting her out and pushing her away but the houseguest thing brought it back full force) really worry about where they stood. She won’t completely admit it to herself because she knows what was said in the jail cell wasn’t a lie or a dramatization for either of them, but that worry that’s been creeping in like a vine is taking hold. Nick saying “there’s something I need to take care of” hmmmmm I feel like this is SO vague. And probably purposely done so by the writers but I just - if it was solely him bringing the dude back to his daughter’s why wouldn’t he just tell Ellie that? What would be the harm in her knowing this? She’s aware you’ve bonded so why would he not just say that? I feel like there was definitely something else he thought he would go do after it. With all the talk of tough transitions and then his obviously pre-made plans to drop this guy off, I just feel like there was some other task he had planned before McGee called him. And him discussing the reset button (I’ll get to this) just kind of solidifies that for me. He’d been doing a LOT of reflection that day and he had something more major planned, I just wish I knew what 😩 Ok back to Ellie’s response, she’s honestly shocked and a little confused at his ominously vague answer. And I’d wager a tiny bit of hurt is in that expression too. All those vines of worry taking hold? Yeah, that’s why. They even just tightened and made her speechless for a second. The emotional withdrawal she feared was being confirmed in front of her very eyes. Because (at least on our screens) the last time Nick turned down a bite to eat with her? Oh yeah, he was dating fucking Elena. (Once again, I don’t think he’s got another girl but y’all this is the parallel Ellie could easily draw seeing as it was only a few months ago, supposedly.) And he even looks almost guilty about turning her down, like he knows it’s probably hurting her (and their relationship) but he can’t help it. He hates that he’s doing it and the words coming from his mouth (good lord it’s like the end of 17x07 with overprotective/you’re like a sister to me all over again) but he can’t stop it. And then my heart breaks for Ellie when she tries to put on a brave, strong face that claims she isn’t bothered by his rejection yet we all knoooooow 😭😭😭 He gives her a small little “night” and she’s just standing there wondering where the hell she went wrong with this, how she read them all wrong.

Ahhhhh the glorious reset button, ya love to see it. When he claims he has the opposite problem you can see his faraway look in his eye. You know *exactly* what, or better yet who, he’s thinking about in that moment. He knows he has to stop avoiding his emotional growth with Ellie. He knows he has to stop hitting the reset button the second things between them get real. And I think he’s known this for a while now but is finally, finally coming to grips with taking real steps forward. Taking steps to embrace the vulnerability he’s terrified of. Finally putting that reset button away 🥺

Ellie knowing Nick has one tie is just another swoon moment. Yes I could get dirty with that (see my tags on previous gifsets for proof) but like, also this is so real of them? They know so damn much about each other it’s insane. She may not have even been in his apartment yet but she knows he owns one tie. Like- come on. Nick you think you’re emotionally distant from this woman but my god it’s the opposite. You two are so intertwined you don’t even realize it as you chuckle and try once again to avoid thinking about that reset button. And then Jimmy goes and reads that letter and I sob. Yes I sobbed. Like I said not getting into this part because my pregnancy hormones can’t handle this (I’m barely rewatching this part with audio ok). But Jimmy’s words voiced over a shot of ellick…take my heart why don’t you. “To hear a laugh, and know that your life would change for ever” like come ON. First, Jimmy you slay me and second, all I can picture is Ellie chuckling with Nick in the bullpen showing him the clicker settings and Nick loving it. Nick your life would be changed forever in that moment I hope you knew. Ellie, pulling her arm around Nick’s for strength, support, I just-. Despite the turmoil she’s been going through, the doubts and the worry that’s crept in- she still feels it. She still feels love for this man and knows her life was changed forever when she met him. No matter how long she tried to deny it, she knows. And that little piece of her that desperately clings to Nick getting his head out of his ass and opening up emotionally to her, that piece decides to break that sliver of personal space and lean on him for support. She needs to touch him- the man who she can’t picture losing like Jimmy lost Breena. She needs to feel him still there, even if he hasn’t completely realized his life changed forever because of her- she has. Gripping his arm for the comfort it gives in knowing he’s still by her side, his hand brushing hers as an involuntary “I’ve got you” (even a reset button pusher like Nick can’t help his reflexes). The gravity of the fragility of life weighing heavily on them both, they hold each other. They’ve got each other. And good god is that poetry we just need them to actually fucking TALK ABOUT IT 😩😭

I don’t know if I even have side notes but I do appreciate NCIS paying homage to the utter grief this pandemic has been. Jimmy being the one to lose a loved one was quite honestly the perfect scenario to me. It shows just how cruel this pandemic has been, ripping even the most optimistic, happy people down to their knees in grief. It’s something that shouldn’t be glossed over and I do hope they continue to have this arc of struggling with grief throughout the season. I think it is so relatable and refreshing to see played out legitimately on the screen. I don’t want happy, go-lucky stale content. I want something real and something tangible. Yes I love my mindless entertainment, but it’s also nice to see *real* drama on a TV drama. At least, that’s my opinion 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’d apologize but isn’t that why you’re reading this to begin with? 😘😘

#ellick #ncis #wwr #18x07 #torres x bishop

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