#hello this is crystal reporting live from the scene of me losing my actual mind apparently 👁️👄👁️

[kindahoping4forever]

I just think that Cashton in tank tops

[kindahoping4forever]

HE WALKS OVER WITH SUCH PURPOSE 👁️👄👁️

pls ignore my screaming 😌

[callioope]

Hey there! Re: the WIP title game, I wanted to ask you about the rebelcaptain scene that's most excited you this year and whether you'd mind sharing a little snippet? Hope you're doing well xx

Hello!! Hope you are doing well too! Thanks for the ask!

Oh man, it’s been awhile since I’ve written any rebelcaptain, so I had to reread the last stories I worked on. Settled on a snippet from “YGM Draft1,” which is my yet-untitled, in-universe You’ve Got Mail AU. I actually got super excited rereading this story anyways. Man I really do want to get back to it... so many stories to write! So little time!

[This is in response to the WIP Title Game I did yesterday; anyone else reading this, please feel free to send an ask! I will actually answer in a timely manner this time...]

To the snippet:

“When are you going into town?”

They both turn to look at Bodhi.

“Today, apparently,” Maia says. “Jyn’s acting strange.”

Jyn catches Bodhi staring at her kyber crystal just as she covers it with her scarf, concern plain on his face.

“She seems—fine,” he finishes, looking away when Jyn meets his eyes.

“I caught her humming, and she’s enthusiastic about haggling with Orus.”

“I wouldn’t say enthusiastic,” Jyn says, passing Bodhi to pick up her jacket off the back of her chair—at least something was where she expected it to be.

Bodhi quietly takes in the kitchen area, Maia’s confusion, the parts splayed out on the table, Essie’s chassis next to it, the panel open in the back, the datapad that Jyn hurriedly shoves into her bag.

“You know what it is,” Maia says, gasping.

“I wouldn’t say that,” he says, looking back at Jyn.

Rolling her eyes, Jyn counts out the credits she’ll need.

“Bodhi!”

He ignores Maia and nods towards Essie’s chassis. “You got a fix for Essie?”

“Yeah, he sent the schematics this morning.”

When Bodhi doesn’t respond, Jyn looks up to catch him sharing a look with Maia. “What?”

They both shift guiltily. “Nothing,” Bodhi mumbles. “I’ll come into town with you. I’ll check on the ‘hopper.”

“Great.” Jyn grabs a ration bar off the shelf and tosses it at Bodhi. “Let’s go.”

He’s less eager fifteen minutes later, when they climb out of the cave and Jyn reveals her transportation plans.

“We’re walking?” Bodhi blurts. 

“It’s a beautiful day,” Jyn replies, gesturing to the rippling blue-green grass and the crisp blue sky. 

“I mean—yeah, it’s—it’s always beautiful here, Jyn, if you hadn’t noticed. I mean, I’ve only been here…” He glances up at the sky as he calculates. “...six years less than you, but yes, yeah, I had noticed.”

She shrugs and bites into a meiloorun fruit. “It’s good to let the speeders charge.”

“Sure.” 

“Something on your mind, Bode?” 

He shakes his head. “No. Nope. What’s on your shopping list?”

She pulls out her data pad, shows him FS152’s pricing chart, with the parts she needs highlighted. “And the disabling bolt for the refinery droids.”

Bodhi skims over the pricing chart, his expression unusually blank. She waits for it, a continuation of Maia’s interrogation, but it never comes. 

They walk a few tense minutes in silence for a bit, before Jyn finally takes the bait. “You two think I can’t be happy?”

“No, no, that’s not what we…” She raises her eyebrows. “Well, you know, I didn’t know you before…”

She knows what he means: before that night a year and a half ago, when an Imperial cargo pilot calling himself Bodhi Rook had showed up at the mouth of their cave, claiming that Mama had told him how to find them, claiming that their meeting on Rudrig had been ambushed, that he’d only just gotten away—

She closes her eyes and inhales. “Yes, Bodhi, I know what you mean.”

“Well, um, Idryssa just, she’s said… before… Ahh.” He shakes his head. “Nevermind.”

“It’s alright,” she says softly. “You can tell me.”

Bodhi looks out over the horizon. “How’s that penpal of yours?”

“Don’t change the subject.”

He looks back at her and meets her eyes. “I’m not.”

“I don’t see what he has to do with this conversation.”

“Okay.” Bodhi takes a deep breath. “Let me—let me paint a picture for you. You’re humming while you work. You lose track of things, drift off in your thoughts. You suddenly notice—I don’t know, how blue the sky is. There’s a word people have for that.”

Jyn glares at him, waiting for him to continue to explain this third train of thought, but he just holds out his hands for her to fill in the blanks. “You think I’m in love?”

“Well…”

“Not you, too,” she mutters. She shakes her head. “Hadder and I broke up months ago. I love him, sure, but not like that. Why is everyone—”

“I’m not talking about Hadder.”

No, she didn’t really think he had been. “You think I’m in love with FS152.”

“The evidence suggests…”

“‘Course I don’t love him,” she says, picking at the stem of her meiloorun fruit. “I don’t even know him. I don’t even know where he lives. He could be across the galaxy. What point is there in loving a person on the other side of the galaxy?”

“That’s very convincing.”

“Convincing,” Jyn says, tossing the word around in her head before tossing the meiloorun fruit core into the grass. “What’s convincing is that people don’t just fall in love with someone they met on an Anti-Imperial back channel, whom they’ve never met in person. I don’t even know his real name. How can you love a person you don’t even know?”

“Observe and report, right?” Bodhi says. “I’m just calling what I can see.”

“Then listen,” Jyn says, trying to keep her tone civil. She’s not mad, but Bodhi’s theory—it can’t be entertained. “FS152 is a useful contact who’s helped me plenty in the past, and is currently helping me repair Essie. And I’m excited to have Essie back.”

“Of course.”

Jyn sighs. She shouldn’t snap at Bodhi for caring. She’s grateful for him. She’s grateful for the intel he brought last year—not that she’s been able to do much about it, since then. That’s a dour thought for another day, one less bright as this one. She stows it away.

She’s grateful for his friendship, most of all.

And the stories he brought about Papa, although those, too, are too dark for today. 

Today, she has a message in her inbox from FS152, a schematic to fix Essie, and a friend by her side. 

Today is allowed to be a good day.

[pinestripes]

Favorite Moments from TAZ: Balance, in No Particular Order

(I’ve been wallowing in my grief over finishing Balance for a bit now, and I thought I could make a tribute by listing some of my favorite moments from the campaign! It should be noted that there will be SPOILERS AHEAD and that some quotes might be paraphrased slightly. Also, I haven’t listened to the liveshows yet.)

The guys’ delighted laughter as Griffin reveals that Barry’s back.

Actually, every time they have big reactions to his reveals. The sheer dumb confusion and then the whooping and clapping when the first loop in the Eleventh Hour happens. Justin’s quietly horrified reaction to finding out Lup made the Umbra Staff. Clint’s confused laughter and incredulous “Anyone?” when Griffin asks who he summons from the bond engine. 

“I, and a team of other people, created this world.” “Gary Gygax?”

The guys tormenting Jenkins in Murder on the Rockport Limited, after which we find out the guy is a literal murderer (and not, in fact, a “sh*tty wizard”).

The entire exchange at the bottom of the well in the Gerblins arc. “Can anybody levitate?” “I think we just live at the bottom of this well now.”

“No dogs on the moon. They just run right off the damn thing.” "Should you say it, or should I? ...No dogs on the moon!”

“[Stephen] swims around in his tiny bowl. And he loves me.” 

The sheer comedic gold that is the scene where Taako convinces Garfield to give him the sword--the perfect buildup, Griffin’s soul leaving his body as he realizes what’s happening, the other guys losing their minds as they too realize it.

Arms Outstretched, of course. And the sort of reprise of it in the finale. 

Speaking of the finale--I’m a massive sucker for “Hey, the gang’s all here!”-type finales, where everyone we’ve ever met in a series shows up in the end and pays a role. And the TAZ finale does this SO WELL, with the music, and how it always makes sense in what’s happening in the scene. It’s so satisfying. 

“You know we’re going to have to talk about your sister being a lich, right?”

Lup’s introduction. 

Lup’s return, from the long pause, to Justin snapping the staff, to Clint’s “Attaboy!” to “YOU’RE DATING THE GRIM REAPER?”

When the guys all simultaneously respond to the question “What’s the best type of advertising?” with “Word of mouth” in Wonderland after episode after episode of them asking people to and thanking people for telling others about the podcast. 

Killian reacting to Magnus cutting off Merle’s arm.

Magnus eating the Philosopher’s Stone, and Griffin subsequently being adamant that Travis deal with the consequences of his actions.  

The guys starting their second loop in Refuge and immediately messing up so badly that Justin almost has Taako shoot them all and end the loop right there. 

Magnus’s. Pep. Talk.

Lucretia in the Candlenights episode. “Hot diggity sh*t, this is a baller cookie.” “Magnus, this is the nightmare scenario.” “Booyah.”

Taako suddenly deciding stealing is wrong in the Goldcliff Trust. “This isn’t a dungeon; people do business here!”

Merle’s bit about the traveling forward/backward in time 9 seconds in the finale had me laughing so hard I was wheezing and crying. My roommate had to check on me and make sure I was okay.

I love Davenport and his sheer delight at piloting the Starblaster again. “Dance for me, buddy.”

The guys coming up with silly and perfect reporter names and newspaper titles to ask questions at the beginning of The Stolen Century. 

The big, triumphant way Griffin goes “Let’s roll initiative!” in the finale, followed immediately by Mort Garson’s incredible music. 

Everything Angus does ever. 

The scene with Taako teaching Angus magic. “Can--can I get tickets?” “Why don’t you conjure them yourself, Mr. Wizard?”

When, in Reunion Tour, Angus says something about his books and Travis says he loves Angus and Justin says “Precious” in his Taako voice which means IT WAS IN CHARACTER AND CANONICAL. 

Lup freaking apologizing for destroying the macaroons Angus made. 

The Tom Bodett thing is just. So dumb. But so funny. I love it. 

Taako calling Barry “Barrold.” 

Fisher loving the carved wooden ducks is SO CUTE. 

“Griffin, can we please deal with the Fullmetal Alchemist situation I currently find myself in?”

“Who?” goiehioewgasd;

The Junebug scene, with the music, gives me chills. 

“Those are the arms that have held my wife!” 

Merle choosing Lucretia to go with him to the spa in that lunar interlude because it’s so good for character stuff but also is unintentionally heartbreaking when you think about it much later??

Cassidy becoming mayor of Refuge. 

Magnus deciding to break into the BOB’s prison. I’ve never been a DM, but I could feel Griffin’s sheer frustration and exasperation in my very soul.

Okay, no, I actually need to talk about Arms Outstretched. I usually don’t feel much dread or fear when watching/reading/listening to things because I’m like “it’s fictional, no one’s in any actual danger, there’s more books/episodes after this, it’s going to be fine” but this scene made me feel absolutely horrified dread the instant the Animus Bell rang anyway. 

“Taako’s rushing in!” “Magnus follows him?” “Merle’s good out here.” “What’s going on?!”

“Hello, my name is Elder Merle!” THUNK

Magic Brian’s death. “I cast magic missile on him again.”

“Between the fan and the fancy umbrella, I’m one seventeen-inch waist away from being Scarlett O’Hara.”

The tantrum Taako throws when asked to get on the Elevator of Tomorrow in Crystal Kingdom, and of course his subsequent GLEE when Magnus and Merle get attacked after using it. “Taako--that’’s me, hi--I’m done with elevators. Never again! ...Don’t do it, I swear to god. You will not like how this ends. I will burn a spell slot on you. I give no sh*ts.”

Lucas, sadly: “My lab!”

The endless tormenting of Leon. “Yeah, he is no longer functioning. You have thoroughly broken this man.” “I win!”

Justin finding out about Lup’s existence and immediately having Taako call her Lulu. 

“That’s real low [max HP]!” “Is it? Is it, Griffin?”

“See, there’s magic in a bard’s song. They call it inspiration, and it tells the listener what they need to hear right when they need to hear it. And right now, you hear it too. The message in the music heard round the world. You hear Johann’s voice, telling you, ‘You’re going to have to fight. And...you’re gonna win!’”

“Hear that babe? We’re legends.”

“This should go without saying at this point--Taako is DELIGHTED.”

“My name is Magnus Burnsides.” “Marchis Burchsins.” “Yep, nailed it. Got it in one.” 

When Merle has the choice to sacrifice his memories of his kids’ births in Wonderland and immediately decides to take the penalty.

The bit in the second Story and Song where the guys keep putting off getting in the Starblaster and keep having little moments with all the other characters, and Griffin gets so annoyed that he tries to get them to move along using the NPCs. “No, totally. Let’s save the world, then 420 blaze it. Can we gooooo?”

Lucas, also sadly: “I got a splinter.”

“Our capacity for love increases with each person we cross paths with throughout our lives, and with each moment we spend with those people. But, too often we neglect that part of ourselves in favor of others. And by the time we realize just how important it is, we find ourselves with fewer folks around to practice with.”

“Did you enjoy the adventure?” “Of course!”

“Oh, yes, small prophecy is easy. I burp and a small prophecy happen.”

“Let me tell you a story about the time we fought three ogres, and I got punched so hard I almost died. You remember? You were up in some kind of weird laser firing potions willy-nilly, Magnus was pulling the arms off a robot, and I got punched so hard I almost died! I’m not about to throw down with a giant crab while you’re armed with just a terrible Scottish accent, and Travis doesn’t even have his shield! I’m out!” 

“It all started when I met the most beautiful elf, and the bravest cleric...”

“Not all exits are made equal. Some are beautiful, and poetic, and satisfying. Others are abrupt and unfair. But most are unremarkable, unintentional, clumsy.”

“I’ll be having my body back, you undead f***.”

“We’ve chosen the perfect person for this. It’s like sending a mildly eloquent piñata in!”

“Let ‘em know, kid.” 

“The late Merle Highchurch rolled a five.”

“You’re going to be amazing.”

...And every single moment that demonstrates what phenomenal entertainers and storytellers the McElroys are. Thank you, guys, for an experience unlike any other. 

[kindahoping4forever]

As the curator of @calumhoodsback, I'm legally obligated to make this a separate post

[kindahoping4forever]

Presented without comment

[kindahoping4forever]

Final bow @ Take My Hand Rotterdam

[kindahoping4forever]

I guess this is just my brand now & we're all gonna have to deal with it tbh

[kindahoping4forever]

Sorry to 5SOS5 or whatever you're called but this is now the only thing I care about today:

@pxrxmoore

[kindahoping4forever]

Ash on IG Story

[kindahoping4forever]

Every single stop of this tour I feel the most unhinged I've ever been. And then the next show happens. 👁️👄👁️

[kindahoping4forever]

Literally no comment

[kindahoping4forever]

Ash IG Story

[kindahoping4forever]

But Crystal whatever you do, do NOT think about Ashton's tour outfits. What if he decides to wear vests...with nothing underneath them except his glistening muscles and his chest hair and leather pants and boots 😭😭😭👁️🫦👁️👁️👄👁️

[kindahoping4forever]

Think about spiritual sex with Ashton. No rushing, just taking the time to feel each other and understand your bodies. You might be there for hours before you even feel him inside you. When you finally do reach your peak? Its like a spiritual awakening, leaving your souls entangled in one another.

Listen... the kind of sex where the end goal is barely a consideration, it's just about being with your person and experiencing all that they can make you feel. Showing each other how attuned you are to each other's needs, your bodies communicating more than your words ever could, feeling totally and completely seen and understood on levels both spiritual and physical? That kind of sex? Think about how softly he would speak to you, how his touch on your skin would be just the right blend of gentle but firm. The hungry but content way he'd look at you, how it would feel to look in his eyes and know that there's no place he'd rather be than in this moment with you? How exhausted you'd be afterwards because it was such an intense experience but you'd still stay up for hours talking because you just can't bring yourselves to even momentarily end that deep connection you've tapped into?

[kindahoping4forever]

International feelings assassin Ashton Irwin spotted again today. Authorities were anticipating a selfie drop sometime in the next 24 hours but were unfortunately not expecting the use of messy bedhead or morning voice. The number of casualties is unknown at this time but expected to be high. Stay tuned for the latest updates as we receive them.

ashton mullet just dropped how we feeling 🎤

Thank you, Ashley. Tonight's top story: We have official confirmation that Mullet!Ash has crossed the border into Mexico, seemingly fleeing the scene of stealing our hearts Monday afternoon. He is also wanted for questioning after new video evidence shows an excessive use of weaponized giggling.

Memorial services for Long Hair!Ash are still being finalized, though there is speculation they may end up being briefer than expected due to the need for a celebration of Beard. Updates to come, stay tuned.