#hello nice to meet you i have been lurking on all your blogs
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hi! i’m saph <3
i like rpdr and k-pop and making art sometimes
i’ve been a tumblr user for a while but kind of new to drag race tumblr so pls come say hi i’d love to talk >:)) also i have put a bunch of my favorite queens in the tags
#hello nice to meet you i have been lurking on all your blogs#rpdr#rupaul's drag race#when i say making art sometimes i mean i will go weeks without drawing#and then i see/read something and get possessed for the next 24 hours until the thing is drawn#art#trixie mattel#katya zamolodchikova#bianca del rio#jinkx monsoon#marcia marcia marcia#anetra#anetra loml. anetra beloved#nymphia wind
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Hello! I've been lurking on your blog for a little bit and I saw your vampire 141 reader and absolutely fell in LOVE, so I was wondering if youre at all able to write a similar prompt but with a Seraph(im) reader :D? If not, have a nice day and I hope you continue writing !!
Hi anon! I can certainly try, i hope this is what you meant by it, if not feel free to shoot in another request and i'd love to make more :)) Takes place in the same universe as this
How much trouble do you think you can get into for asking a few questions?
Just a few simple, seemingly innocent questions.
Apparently quite a lot, if you're the right (wrong) type of creature, born into the right (wrong) celestial plane, and in servitude to the right (wrong) god.
One would think that being among god’s favorites would be a blissful thing. Full of everything good in your servitude of the almighty. A seraph's magnitude of power, should bring glory and easy existence, right? A dream come true for some, more akin to a family nightmare in reality.
A court of angels built for hope and peace, to fight the forces of evil, but what about when the forces of evil are your fallen brothers and sisters? The same people who were once the closest to you, all thrown away the moment they did something they weren't supposed to.
One of those things being the creation of monsters that now live in shadows on the mortal realm. Incredible how one drop of divine intervention could create such interesting creatures, and how incredible it is how quickly humans could turn on them.
Humans, such beautifully contradicting creatures.
You had always loathed them to some extent, a result of your growing care for the named monsters of their world. You had always believed it would be possible for it all to coexist, but all the thinking got you was your other seraphim's voices calling you naive and too young.
You shut your mouth until you couldn't, you held it all back until it blew up in your face.
You had never expected to end up like any of the fallen, you had spent centuries fighting to protect the beloved humanity from evil things they couldn't comprehend. You'd never expect to be falling from the sky, into the earthly planes with your wings broken. All over a few questions that was too much.
When you reached the ground, you wept. The betrayal stung worse than your broken wings, you had been abandoned by the father, your brothers and sisters turned on you the moment you weren't useful. The hierarchy more than likely celebrating your demise if you knew them well enough, sadistic ones they are.
You ended up spending a long long time on earth, you had no way of switching to a different celestial plane, so you had to make do in the mortal world. Your god has abandoned you, yet part of your celestial power still remains.
Why you can't say, but you imagine there's still some use for you in this world. You can't decide whether it’s a relief or more angering. All of you have left is your six wings tied to your back, which two of them are broken, and half your divine power in your hand.
You do all you can think to do with it, seek out the creatures you were so desperately trying to defend. Perhaps they might be the only type to understand your strife, to show you a place in a world where you are everything different.
How wrong you could be.
You quickly start to doubt your own inhibitions, that these creatures might've been reasonable. Some of them could be, but in vicious groups they prove quite the threat even to others of their own species.
Forced on the run, while defending yourself against the creatures you had longed to meet. It wasn't exactly the time of your life you had hoped for. Nor was the group you'd meet soon after.
Going from place to place wasn't all the easy anymore, unable to fly you'd have to do most places on foot, while having to stay out of sight. Changing form with broken wings isn't the easiest thing in the world, so you would have to wait until they had healed up.
The first time they found you was in an open clearing in the forest, close to a pond they had to pass on their route during a mission. The 141 had been on the mission for a few days now, eliminating an important target, and now exhausted they've finally been able to go to the exfil point.
Soap is the first one that sees you, in the middle of the pack he stops up dead in his tracks causing Gaz to almost crash into him. Though before he could spout some kind of insult his way, Soap promptly shut him up by pointing in your direction. The entire group stops in shock as they take in your appearance.
You had placed yourself next to the pond, gently nursing your wings in hopes of them healing better soon. The mortal plane didn't exactly have the same rate of healing as it did in your old home. All you could do was wait, and keep the wing groomed and free of parasites.
Price is the first to realize what you were, the wings etched into your back should be enough of a sign but there are so few of your kind. He had heard about you both from old legends but also from newer times. Tales of fallen seraphim who still wanted to do good, they were often in some kind cooperation with human military, in the pursuit of the more vile monsters that are loose.
He orders his men to stay back as his mind works laps to decide on what to do. You haven't noticed them, he wonders why. He's never met any seraphim in person, but he's heard of their divine abilities, their senses being way beyond the ordinary, he'd thought you'd have an incredible awareness, it's not like they're hidden.
The possibility of you being a threat was still prominent, but something told him he didn't have to worry about that. So, he slowly starts to approach you, catching your attention once he starts speaking to you.
You're very clearly startled by them, upset that you let them sneak up on you even if unintentionally. Being confronted by humans so suddenly, wasn't something you had prepared for, and despite Price's calming voice trying to coax you, you still looked like a terrified sheep. A far cry from the warrior you could've been, had been.
Ghost watches with intent, thinking back to the one time he saw a seraph when he was a kid. It was an encounter nobody ever believed when he would tell the story, but to him it was very real. Your own existence in front of them only confirmed it.
While Price slowly coaxes you into a more receptible and relaxed state, Ghost informs the two sergeants on what type of being you were. Not many knew of the Seraphim's existence, especially the fallen ones that now roamed on earth. Normally they were all very hidden, taking on different forms and only showing their wings and glowing eyes when they needed to call on divine power.
You're not really sure why Price's wording works, but he manages to assure you that they don't mean you any harm. They all come up to you, questioning you, taking a look at your broken wing. You thought you'd hate the touch of a human, but you find it warm when Gaz gently holds your broken wing and assesses what could be done with it.
Soap is crouched in front of you, asking you insane questions about your background that you're reluctant to answer. All the while Price and Ghost stand a few meters away, discussing what to do with you and the mission. They hadn't expected to find anyone out here, but in your injured and confused state, they can't find it in their hearts to just leave you there.
You're confused with yourself, why you let them fuss over you, why you let them close, but you're even more upset at yourself for letting them take you with them. You should be angry at your own instincts for letting yourself be so easily coaxed into going with them. The promise of bettering your wing was an all too appealing prospect.
Ghost and Soap do the teamwork of helping you up, your exhausted state making them insist that you lean onto them. Price is much more practical on his questioning, a lot gentler in his tone as well. He sticks to the specifics, leaving your past to yourself and getting the information out of you that was needed now. You notice the way they glance at each other once you confirm you have nowhere to go.
They take you with them back to an exfil point, and then further back to a base they normally reside at. You're given quite a few stares as you walk between the four of them, and despite their stern glares and quips to get others to look away, it doesn't help much.
They get you inside and split up, Price going to file paperwork of both the mission and their new arrival. Sneakily filing you away as a kind of stray they picked up and intend to keep for the benefit of the mission. The easiest way to avoid any unwanted interventions from the higher ups at least for now while you get used to it all and they get more information out of you.
Meanwhile Ghost, Gaz and Soap get you settled into the base, getting you cleaned up and acquainted with your new surroundings. Gaz, ever fascinated with your wings, helps clean out the accumulating sweat and dirt that's etched itself into your pristine feathers.
Soap lends you some of his clothes, despite your clear displeasure for the odd clothing. It was something you had never had to concern yourself with before, and now you had to wear the itchy fabric all the time. A very quick cause for another meltdown they coax you through once they realized how much that part bothered you.
Ghost takes a look at your broken wings, fixing up something that could help stabilize it so it could start healing at a better rate. No matter how many times he told you to sit still you couldn't help but squirm as you felt his hands graze over your feathers. It wasn't normal for humans to be touching you so...intimately...it was something you'd have to get used to.
A few weeks pass, two broken wings healed, and you're still with them. You're slowly getting accustomed to their presence around you, their fuzzing, and inquiries, you almost dare admit that you like it, that you might like them.
Never in your life would you have expected to have to admit to yourself that you liked a group of humans beyond your divine contracts. Yet the way they see you and spend time with you, is something you find yourself holding precious to your heart.
Once you discover Soap's drawing habits you can't help but observe him whenever he does it. You find it fascinating the control he has over his hands and the brushstrokes against the fragile paper. He even starts teaching you some of your own, though you struggle with coming up what to draw. You end up drawing some of your seraphim brothers and sister from memory, which he takes great interest in.
Gaz ends up going with you when you go to fly again, the first time was a little bit of a disaster, you crashed straight down. Causing all four of them to worry about you, though luckily you didn't break anything this time. You weren't used to the soreness in your wings, nor the training you'd have to do to get back to your usual level of excellent flying.
Though when you do get it back, you're going out to fly every day. Gaz isn't exactly with you, but he observes you from the ground. You tried offering to show him what it's like, but he kindly declined, mumbling something about it reminding him too much of an unfortunate helicopter ride.
Time spent with Ghost is normally quiet activities that don't require a lot of talking, you enjoy the silent respite, being able to enjoy his company without a single word having to be shared. You often go to him when Soap and Gaz's spontaneous activities get too much, he quickly puts them down before dragging you to a quiet place to relax. Naps with him a top tier, even if you don't really need the sleep the same way he does.
Price will occasionally have you in his office, helping him with paperwork and research on monsters. He finds that you know a lot more than anyone else on probably the entire planet does. You explain their behaviors, their chances at rehabilitation and their threat levels. You admire him and his work, despite having an unfathomable number of years more to your name, his decisions are wise and calculated, he knows what he's doing.
Eventually you even come on missions with them, under great supervision at first, both to learn more about you and to keep a general eye on you. Though it’s a quick agreement between them all that you're an important asset. It's a lot easier to go monster hunting when you have a seraph that can quite literally put the fear of god into them.
Life with them is far from anything you could've expected, so different from your old life, but you find yourself enjoying your time. You're doing something worthwhile, and maybe the godly intervention you were so sure those monster's needed could still depend on you. Either way, you'd have a new group behind your back, one you could rely on more than any other type you'd seen in your divine existence.
I could see this developing into a lil AU of monsters and humans and other mythical things. Definitely getting the gears in my head stirring... I've also got some more ideas for the vampire reader, so watch out for that in the coming time once i get more time to write >:))
#noctmoon fics#noctmoon talks#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#john price#kyle gaz garrick#simon ghost riley x reader#john soap mctavish x reader#john price x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#tf141 x reader#tf141 x seraphim!reader#tf 141 x reader#tf 141
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hi. person who drew the sniperspy cig touching thing here. i got jumpscared with the follow but thank you!! i've been lurking around your blog for a while because, well, it's cool as hell, and i'm aussie too but i've never set foot outside the city (aside from school trips and stuff) so it's a side of australia i never get to personally interact with even though i live in the same damn country. your blog is super interesting and i love reading through your stories. uhh this is a niche topic but i like reading about your hair stories! my hair is super long (longer than my arms can reach, albeit pretty thin) and i plait it every morning and idk. it's like seeing someone out there with a million differences between us but one simple and oftentimes impractical similarity. i feel like i should ask something so what's the worst thing it's gotten caught on when it was long? and what's the best part about having a mullet?
Hello! Nice to meet you! :]
What's the worst thing your hair was ever caught on when it was long?
I was a teenager. Barbed-wire fence on the property. It'd been a windy day and it'd tussled my hair a lot. I'd forgotten to braid it that morning and hadn't thought it'd be that windy. Got snagged. The more I struggled the worse it got. I was stuck. Ended up cutting off that lock with my knife. Wasn't that much hair at all but that knot would've been impossible to remove anyway.
When I was younger I briefly grew it out over a year (much to my dad's disapproval) and it got matted while swimming. My mum spent almost six hours gradually unmatting it. Cheers, mum.
What's the best part about having a mullet?
Long enough to keep the sun off my neck if I'm not wearing a hat, short enough that it doesn't get in the way at all. Also it's really easy maintenance. I cut it in the mirror of my ute with a pair of scissors. (Bogan shit, ay?)
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🌻Hello, nice to meet you!🌻
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Disclaimer: I advised against reading this post on my own blog and instead, just read it on Tumblr itself. The post somehow broke when read through my own blog, causing some words appear incorrectly (coloured text not coloured, for example). You can reach it here.
🌻My Fan fiction Masterpost | My Twitter | My Bluesky🌻
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My name is Hornkneebee, but you may also refer me by my other aliases; Madukara.
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I'm in my early 20's (20 to 25 year old) and hence, my content may reflects as such.
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You may refer me with; ➼ He/Him ➼ They/Them
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Aside from English 🇬🇧, I am proficient in Bahasa Melayu 🇲🇾 and may be able to understand Bahasa Indonesia 🇮🇩. Currently, I'm trying to study 한국어 🇰🇷 (I could only able to read Hangul, not yet to understand them).
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I've been juggling a lot of different game, but am currently active on; 🎮 Genshin Impact ✨🍃 🎮 Honkai Star Rail 🚂☄️ 🎮 Alchemy Stars ⚗️🌟 🎮 Cookie Run Kingdom 🏰🍪 🎮 Reverse: 1999 ⌛⛈️ 🎮 Punishing Grey Raven 🐦⬛🦠 🎮 Arknights ⚔️ Otherwise, I also play with; 🎮 The Sims (primarily Sims 2) 🟢 🎮 Stardew Valley 🐔 🎮 Spiritfarer ⛴️ 🎮 Let's School 📚 🎮 Coral Island ����
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Show I have watched; ✅ Merlin BBC ✅ Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood ✅ Ranking of the King ✅ Little Witch Academia Show I am watching; ⏯️ Fairy Tail ⏯️ How to get away with murder ⏯️ Nation Z ⏯️ Black Summer ⏯️ Gurren Lagann ⏯️ The Waling Dead Show I'm planning to watch; 📝 Attack on Titan 📝 Codename: Kids next door 📝 Mob Psycho 100, Season 3
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Hello! Welcome to my blog.
I'm (kinda) new here! I had a tumblr years ago, but fell off of it sometime around my senior year of high school. So, so long ago now, lol. I guess you could say I'm a transplant from Facebook and Instagram.
I'm looking to learn about stuff, I'm curious about a little bit of everything. I've been lurking for a while trying to learn how to use this app and figure out the local etiquette. So forgive me for any transgressions but please tell me if I mess something up or step on toes.
A bit about me, that no one asked for:
I'm a queer autistic with untreatable ADHD. I'm physically disabled to a degree as well.
I read tarot and have been a student of Hellenistic Astrology for a few years now. I'm hoping to specialize in the horary branch soon.
I'm not necessarily new to witchcraft, but due to something that happened a few years ago I'm slowly taking steps towards practicing once again in small ways.
I love art, although I am not one to create it much, I enjoy looking at it. If you're an artist, I wanna see your work!
I read a lot of psychology books and one of my favorite subjects is the mystery of consciousness.
I also read fantasy when I can tear away from my textbooks. I just finished the Kingkiller Chronicles (at least the two that have been released) and I'm still emotionally recovering from that, lol.
I hope to get to know you all! I love this community so far. The wealth of stories and information is overwhelmingly lovely.
It's nice to meet you! I hope you like the stuff I post :) and I hope I get a chance to learn something from all of you!
Much love 💚.
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my dear friend,
hello to you after a million LONG LONG years. how’re you today? i finally have the time and am in the feels for this RANT so without further ado, let’s get into it.
girl, since i sent you this ask, I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR MORE OF THESE LINES MYSELF, so i suggest! Let’s make this our mission and make a list of the possible entry passwords as a fun little activity and feed into the vv brain rot even more, what do you think??
also oh my god these lines from be my favourite and MSP (literally one of my TOP BLs) are sooo PERFECT!! like this BMF line reminds of that scene in vv where peun adds that line from 2gether (i think) into their script and only talay catches it and they go on to flirt a little after that and talay is teasing peun and peun is all blushy blushy and i feel like they’d do the same thing with this line (OMGGG THIS IS NOT GOOD FOR SO EARLY IN THE MORNING) i fully forgot the ep number but TELL ME YOU REMEMBER THIS SCENE!!
and let’s not even get started on MSP!! @cryingoverweiying knows how much i loveee and adoreee my tinngun (honestly an MSP rewatch is also wayy overdue) but this line from that aquarium scene????!!! girl is this sooo PERFECT!! it fits like a PUZZLE PIECE WHATTTT. honestly my heart is already ecstatic with the JSxGF crumbs we’ve been getting recently and this on top of that??? pls this is not good for my health.
this discussion was honestly perfect 🤧🤧😭 my vv-starved heart is so happy girl, can you tell???
also, you can call me sam :)))) it sounds wayy better than ignoranxed lol and i also happen to prefer it :))
nice to finally meet u, friend 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 (even though i’ve been lurking on your blog the past several months lol)
hi monica! how’re you? how’s the vv madness today?
just a random q
do you ever just casually wonder sometimes which famous line from a bl here would have made it into the other world’s association entry password list?
not at all asking this because of this:
like AT ALL, at all
*cue the vv brainrot*
WELL LET ME TELL YOU. THE VICE VERSA BRAINROT JUST GOT INFINITELY WORSE BECAUSE GOD.OHGOD OH .GODD OH MY GOD GO D THE WAY I'VE NEVER REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT LOOKING FOR QUOTES THAT COULD HAVE BECOME PASSWORDS FOR THE ALTERNATE WORLD ASSOCIATION AND NOW I JUST WANT TO REWATCH EVERY SINGLE GMMTV BL TO FIND SOME
like that dangerous romance one is SO PERFECT!!!!!!!! and it's such a witty one too, because there's the 'if you open your heart to me' part that can be applied to puentalay and the 'can you open your door for me?' part that is used to unlock the entrance to the association!!!!!! im actually a little bit sad that dangerous romance didn't come out before vice versa so they could have used this line in the show, it just fits so well!!!!
also sorry but now that you brought it up i can't get this out of my head and i keep trying to think about which other quotes could be used if vice versa came out now LIKE!!!!!! im honestly terrible at remembering specific lines but i KNOW they would use something from be my favorite since it's adapted from another novel by jittirain!!!! im sure there is a better one but the only quote that comes to mind rn is this
also they would definitely pick a cute line from my school president since it's so popular, maybe sound's 'if this moment was in a drama, i'd be kissing you already' before the soundwin kiss in episode 12, or even tinn's adorably flirty wordplay 'sharks, they like to bite. i do too but only the one i like' at the aquarium in episode 7!!!!! (sadly no screenshots for these because i forgot this is yet another show GMMTV sold to Viki and removed from youtube 🙃)
I FEEL SO RIDICULOUSLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS, WATCH ME PICK APART EVERY SINGLE SHOW AND MAKE A LIST OF OTHER POSSIBLE PASSWORDS
#this reply was honestly such a cute fkn gift monica like i can’t even tell uu#my heart is soo happy 😭😭#you’re really right#every show DOES lead to vv and peuntalay#i didn’t think these two brainless boys would have me dying over them this badly when i first watched vv#but clearly there’s no escape now#we have fallen into this abyss and deeper and deeper into it we go#ahhhhhhhh#i’m honestly so sorry i took like an eternity to reply omfggg#but yaayyy soo glad to have found a friend in uu monicaaa#ignorants#also i hope it’s fine that i’m addressing you as my dear friend monica!!#all that lurking on your blog makes me feel like i’ve known you forever#pls ik this sounds creepy#but i promise it’s pure adoration for a fellow vv-crazed bl lover 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
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hello
could write a cissy x reader fic maybe some hurt comfort . Like we think she is cheating or smth🤍 btw i love your blog you’re an amazing writer ( sorry for mistakes English isn’t my first language)
FRACTURED GLASS AND ITS DOWNPOUR
pairing: narcissa malfoy x reader
word count: 1060
notes and warnings: love this request and thank youu <3 this is inspired by “the last beautiful thing i saw is the thing that blinded me” by paris paloma ALSO I made up a first name for Blaise Zabini’s mom bc she didnt have one and the only other death-eater-esque women are bellatrix (we don’t do incest folks) and alecto carrow sooo,, also i wrote this when i was deliriously tired so bear w me 😅
taglist: @cordeliass @paulsonsratched @goodeday2u @thedeconstructionist @traumatisedfangirl @devriesgoode
This shattered reality haunts us relentlessly.
Always, it is there, lurking in the shadows — such a past, such a fear that cannot be named, waiting for a moment to deliver us to death.
Step on the cracks, listen to the ticking of the clock.
Time has come for us — never again will we feel this love.
You waited.
You listened to the ticking of the clock.
It had been seven hours. Seven hours of a Saturday you had made plans to spend together, and it had been the third week in a row.
You knew you ought to be compassionate, but Lenora Zabini’s divorce was far from being your problem, which meant you had no reason to get involved in it, and neither did Narcissa.
“We’ve known each other since we were children,” Narcissa had said at the start of it all, “and when I separated from Lucius, she was endlessly supportive.”
You understood her call to compassion — in her truest form, she was built on compassion, and had always sacrificed her own stability for that of those she held dear.
Yet again, Lenora Zabini’s divorce was in no way your problem, and you were firm in your resolve that the two of you should stay out of it.
When Narcissa had disregarded your resolve, when she had rushed to Zabini every moment she could, that was when the fragile state of your reality had begun to fracture. Everything around you had turned into glass — every word, every glance, every touch so easily shattered.
You listened to the ticking of the clock. You were staring at it, now, watching the moments hurry by. It was nearing seven o’clock. With every moment that ticked by you could feel resentment growing like vines around your ribs, bursting into your lungs and suffocating you.
Last week she had only stayed with Zabini until six.
You could hear the front door open, and you turned back to the book in your lap, and though your gaze was focused on it you could not see a single word.
You could hear her heels echoing through the halls as she reached the living room, and from the edge of your vision you watched her approach.
“You said you’d be back by five.”
“Oh, hello, it’s nice to see you, too,” she teased, though she seemed to sense something was off, for her smile faded quickly. She did not press you, yet you could feel her analytical gaze resting heavily upon you as she sat down beside you on the sofa. “What are you reading?”
“The Secret History,” you said quietly, refusing to meet her gaze. You craved her presence, yet you wished just as strongly to isolate yourself. It was a balance that tortured you.
“What’s it about?” She rested her head on your shoulder, sighing in exhaustion.
“I don’t know,” you said blandly, “I just started it.”
Narcissa sat up, watching you for a moment before gently taking the book from your hands and placing it on the coffee table in front of you.
You dared not meet her gaze — for if you did, you knew your eyes would betray your every thought.
“What happened?” She asked softly.
“Nothing happened.”
She sighed once more, and finally you met her gaze, and there would be no escape now, for she could read all you were feeling in a single moment.
All of your fears, every shard of broken glass, felt ridiculous. You had no reason to worry, for she was here with you now, tangible.
Saying it all out loud was your greatest nightmare — if your suspicions were wrong, you could not imagine how deeply your words would cut her, how big of a blow you would release upon your own happiness.
Narcissa waited for you to speak. Her expression was gentle, and you could tell she was doing the best she could to provide comfort in her exhausted state, and this too made you feel terrible for what you were about to ask.
There was no other way to ask it except directly, and you attempted to center yourself before you mustered up the words, yet they flew out before you could stop them. “Are you cheating on me?”
You regretted your words as soon as you said them. There it was, your greatest fear, hanging so vulnerably between the two of you.
And your reality would shatter, in this very moment, or it would be saved.
You had already been blinded by the glass.
Narcissa’s expression changed completely. The surprise she bore could have itself proved her innocence, the way her body tensed. She shook her head, dumbfounded, breathing out a ‘no.’
You did not need any further explanation – part of you knew she was innocent before you had even asked.
Yet the fear kept coming back, kept harvesting your hope and watching as the blood drained from the wounds it pridefully inflicted.
There were a thousand things she could have said. She could have berated you for suggesting that she would do that to you, she could have turned the question around, she could have simply left without another word.
But there she was, still, beside you, and now she was the one watching the moments tick by.
“I would never do that to you,” she whispered, and if you had not been paying such close attention, you wouldn’t have heard her.
That was the moment you understood the profoundness of her silence – for she had once been in your position, and the answer of the person opposite had been very, very different.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, “I know you wouldn’t… but you’ve been spending so much time with Lenora, any second you can get, and I just assumed…”
And once she understood, the alarm faded from her features, and such delicacy was replaced with steadiness. “Lenora and I have never had anything between us. She’s like a sister to me.”
You nodded, taking a shaky breath.
She opened her arms, inviting you closer, and you leaned against her. The comfort of her presence radiated through you, and finally you were safe from the threats hiding in every corner, from the fear that so violently sought you.
The broken glass of your reality, never able to be repaired, was now constructed of diamonds.
A downpour of love followed you – a downpour of diamonds.
#narcissa malfoy x reader#narcissa malfoy#narcissa black#narcissa black x reader#harry potter#helen mccrory#bellatrix lestrange#bellatrix black#lgbtq+#wlw
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I’m back?
As my blog title suggests, I’m here for the nostalgia; tucking my tail between my legs and returning after what I assume was a dramatic exit that some might’ve found unnecessary, but I know I needed. And I grew during the two years I was away. I grew so much I know I don’t want to use this blog like I used nhasablog, but I miss it. I miss checking in, I miss talking to people, I miss writing. Even though I’m not writing much these days, this is me grasping for something that used to be the better part of my life back when I wasn’t okay.
I deleted nhasablog because it was turning into a toxic place for me, partly due to my own behavior, but also partly due to people’s expectations and demands and occasionally rude messages. But I’m not here to blame anyone anymore. I’ve put it behind me and know I’m ready to make a tentative return, even if I only end up existing rather than creating. I don’t know. Why would I revive this place after years if I’m not planning on using it like I used to? I’m honestly not sure. I just know I woke up today with the need to return, which is a need I’ve felt plenty of times. I finally think I’m able to put enough distance between this and my own life if things don’t feel good without constantly checking it. That’s one of the reasons I deleted rather than just left - I knew I wouldn’t be able to just leave. I knew I would be checking for messages and whatnot, which wasn’t good for me. Always put your own needs first.
To people who have no idea who I am: hi! I’m N. I used to be a tickle fic writer, but I deleted my blog. This post probably doesn’t need to be this long, but I was known for never keeping things short hah. But yeah, nice to meet you!
Obviously this blog is called nhasablogg rather than nhasablog because that username isn’t available despite me not finding any blog with that url? But maybe this is good. A fresh start. No matter whatever I end up doing on here.
This does feel weird because I am aware I’m talking into a void, but if anyone who knew me sees this - hello! This is a sideblog, just like nhasablog used to be, so I can’t follow people, but I’m lurking as always.
To the people I might’ve been rude to all those years ago - I’m truly sorry. I wasn’t my best version back then, but I’m learning. I’m sorry I took it out on you.
To the people who were rude to me - I forgive you. I realize you never asked for that, but you don’t forgive people because they asked.
I feel like I should tag people?? But it feels strange?? But I’ll do it anyway so:
@ticklishraspberries @wordstrings @sour--strawberries / @lemonsandstrawberries @calmturquoise @fickle-tiction god who else I feel like I’ve forgotten everything
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part one | calmness
calmness [noun. the state or quality of being free from agitation or strong emotion]
pairing: kamo choso/f!reader
summary: falling in love with choso was a gradual and slow process, creeping up on you so inconspicuously that you don’t realize until the feelings hit full force. he’s become a constant in your life, your sun, your home. but does he return the feelings?
wordcount: 8k
content/warnings: roommates au, friends to lovers, fluff, slice of life, mentions of alcohol, language, some pining but not really, the amount of oblivious reader and choso will kill you, slow burn, characters are aged up if not already obvious, lowercase intended, [UNEDITED]
a/n: [hello this is a re-post because my blog was banned for a few days! so if you’ve seen it before, i’ve had to delete it i am so sorry if you’ve saved it. but it’s here to stay now!] here it is, the long awaited roommate!choso series wehfuhuehw if you’ve lurked around on my blog before, you would’ve seen the little drabbles i’ve sent suki a while back. this idea has been floating around in my head for so long and there isn’t really a lot of plot to it, it’s really just a really long slice of life thing. wanted to explore falling in love with choso, i just... love him a lot ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ i’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how he would be in situations like this and i hope you enjoy!
masterlist - next
you were pretty sure that you’d scared all the costumers away with your constant sighing – even yuuji was looking at you concerned now although you’d told him that you were fine hours prior. the entire apartment hunting issue was now getting to you; a few months prior, your landlord had announced that he would be selling the apartment, leaving you with no other option than to find a new apartment. but rent was astronomically high and you were already struggling as is. even finding roommates was proven to be a difficult feat, you weren’t sure why but you kept attracting weird people and now two weeks before the moving out date, you still didn’t have a place to stay. worst case scenario, you’d have to rent a storage space and crash at your friend’s place.
“y/n, are you okay? you look… very stressed,” yuuji asked gingerly, after he’d closed the store and helped you clean up the cash register area. “uh if it helps, you can vent to me! we’re friends right? so what’s bothering you?”
you were hesitant. sure, despite not knowing him so well since he’s only been working at the store for a month or two now, you would consider the two of you friends. but you felt bad just dumping the entirety of your worries onto him. so you opted to tell him the… short truth.
“ah it’s just- i’ve been looking for a place to stay because, essentially, i’m getting kicked out of my place but it’s been pretty unsuccessful,” you sighed, scrubbing at the counter more vigorously now. “i need to move out in two weeks but i haven’t found a place yet and the people looking for roommates just seem to be people who would drive me insane.”
“oh really?” yuuji sounded hopeful- wait, why did he sound hopeful? “my older brother is looking for a new roommate! his former roommate recently moved in with his boyfriend so the room is vacant right now. if you want, i could arrange a date for you to look at the apartment and meet him? i promise my brother isn’t weird or anything, he’s pretty diligent with chores and is always up to hang out.”
your jaw dropped; yuuji was your lifesaver. he was incredibly friendly and polite, always helping others and looking out for everyone. you were overwhelmed with joy and relief, maybe you were naïve and too hast in trusting his words but his brother had to be similar to him, you couldn’t imagine them being polar opposites. it couldn’t be that bad and at this point, you were desperate. “i would love that! when are you guys free?”
“ah we could actually head over to his place after clocking out,” yuuji put the boxes and pens back into place before ushering you to the staff room and turning the lights off. “he’s been home quite early lately, so i can just let him now right now if you’re free?”
you nodded in agreement, almost too eagerly, as you threw your jacket on and grabbed your bag, waiting for yuuji outside of the store. it was already dark outside and you almost felt bad for taking up his time like this but he had offered after all. yuuji was furiously texting as he stepped out of the building, screen lighting up his face in a comical way. in the dim light of the street lamps, you clumsily fumbled with the keys before finally being able to lock the door.
“you’re in luck, he’s home right now!” yuuji announced, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his red sweater. “said it’s okay if we drop by real quick.”
you hummed in thought, matching yuuji’s pace as you walked across the street. “does he live far away from here?”
“nope, it’s basically around the corner.”
thankfully, the apartment was within walking distance so you had a slow stroll while talking about work, friends and uni. although you shared the same friend circle, it was almost impossible to have both of you in the same room – yuuji was often busy with club activities while you were constantly studying or working. it wasn’t until he started working at the store that you finally got to know each other, immediately getting along much to your friends’ relief. he had never talked about his older brother before so you were surprised that he had siblings at all. but he sounded genuine when he said that his brother was cool so you didn’t think much of it.
“okay so this is the place,” yuuji stopped in front of a building, pressing the doorbell. “please don’t be too intimidated when you meet choso, he looks unfriendly and unamused sometimes but that’s just his face.”
turning around, you took a closer look at your surroundings. it was an apartment building that looked rather cozy, surrounded by tall, expanding trees. to your relief, it wasn’t a sketchy neighbourhood - you’d always felt wary about walking home by yourself after a late shift. in the distance, you could see a playground and screaming, laughing children. it was harmonious and peaceful, easing your soul and initial doubts.
“oh okay,” you bit your lip in nervousness as the buzzer went off, following yuuji into the building. the closer you got to the apartment, the squirmier you got, anxious about meeting his older brother. the door was already left ajar so you could enter, the smell of food wafting out of the apartment to the hallway. you peeked inside before entering, immediately feeling more at ease upon seeing that the apartment was organized and clean. coats and jackets hung up on the coatrack, shoes lined up neatly along the wall. several photos were stuck to the wall - one of a younger chubby-cheeked yuuji, one of what looked like a garden party, another one of a happily smiling group of people. your heart was warming up; yuuji’s brother seemed like a rather attentive person who appreciated his surroundings and close friends and family.
“choso! did you make dinner for me?” yuuji called out as he kicked off his shoes and stormed inside before you could stop him, leaving you to your own devices as you awkwardly stood in the hallway of the apartment after closing the door. you took your shoes off slowly, stalling as much time as possible. should you just wait for yuuji to come back? or should you come in and greet them with the same energy that yuuji just exuded? but then his brother might think that you were weird and reject you straight away. you froze when a deeper voice rang out.
“didn’t you say you’d bring a friend? where are they?”
you hastily took off your shoes and tiptoed deeper into the apartment, hiding behind yuuji as you looked at the taller man in front of him. his brother looked at you curiously, placing the cooking utensils he was holding onto the counter. so yuuji and him did look like polar opposites. yuuji, for the lack of better terms, looked like a soft peach while the man in front of you had tied his dark, long hair in twin tails and was sporting a huge white shirt with sweatpants but perhaps the most striking thing about him was the face tattoo. you hadn’t expected that at all. he spiked your interest, you couldn’t deny that he was attractive. you had to snap out of it, this was your potential future roommate and you did not need to have any further thoughts. not of that kind.
“hi,” you greeted quietly and held your hand out for him to shake. “i’m y/n, nice to meet you.”
“choso.” he shook your hand, giving you an approving nod.
maybe you stared at his hand a little too obviously, admiring his long fingers, his nicely shaped fingernails and the veins on his hand. yuuji cleared his voice, slightly elbowing you in the side. you gasped in embarrassment, jerking your hand from his and hiding it behind your back. choso didn’t seem like he had caught onto your staring. and if he did, he had enough mercy to not bring it up.
“let me show you your room first,” choso explained unfazed, patiently waiting until you followed him. he walked across the living room, pointing to the side. while yes, he was attractive and seemed to be an enjoyable person to be around with, you couldn’t shake the wariness in your bones. choso switched on the lights, letting you step into the room first. it was empty for the most part, aside from a few boxes that were neatly stacked and placed in the corner. the room had a comfortable size, big enough to fit everything that you owned but not too big so that you’d feel uncomfortable with the empty spaces.
“sorry about the boxes,” choso apologized, turning to you. “i’ve been storing some of the stuff from our studio here, since i sometimes work from home and it was more convenient to have it here instead of my room.”
“i see…” you nodded, trying your best not to peek at the contents of the box. “if you don’t mind me asking, what do you work as?”
“some of my friends and me, we’ve opened a tattoo and piercing studio earlier this year. i only do tattoos though, some of the others do piercings additionally,” he explained to you, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. your mouth fell open, making you look like a fish. you couldn’t hide your excitement, eyes gleaming like you’d just discovered the biggest treasure you’ve ever seen.
“really? that’s so cool! yuuji never told me you were a tattooist, i would love to see your works someday,” you grinned from ear to ear while choso looked away from you, not being able to handle the praise. although he appreciated the sentiment, he didn’t know how to respond to compliments - the feeling was foreign to him.
"yeah, sure," choso replied with a strained voice. in the dim light, no one would be able to make out how the tips of his ears reddened and choso was thankful for that. he cleared his voice, slowly trudging outside of the room to show you the rest of his apartment.
when yuuji had mentioned that he’d found a potential roommate for choso, he didn’t tell anything else. choso didn’t expect it to be yuuji’s co-worker, much less someone whose energy was so bright and happy unlike his gloomy self. he briefly wondered whether you were okay with living here - even if you were desperate to find an apartment, surely you'd at least want someone who was… more open and less intimidating than him.
you trailed behind his broad frame, carefully taking in the entirety of the apartment. it seemed like there was nothing to worry about. even though you've only known him for a few minutes, you felt at ease with him and that gave you a better feeling about moving in with him. yuuji was innocently sitting on the couch, spooning the soup choso had prepared earlier while watching tv. his eyes followed the pair, relieved that there was less awkwardness than he anticipated but slightly suspicious because… there was something.
as choso showed you the rest of the apartment - kitchen, living room and bathroom - he comprehensively explained expenses and house rules to you. there weren't many rules to begin with; choso simply disliked clutter and expected everything to be put back to its original place after use, being noisy was a no-go as well. everything in between was negotiable. by the end of the apartment tour, you joined yuuji in the living room. he shot you a questioning look, raising his eyebrow in curiosity. you were certain that you'd take the offer. there was no way this opportunity would go to waste.
"thank you for showing me around, choso," you smiled at him gratefully. "if you're okay with me moving in, i'd love to become your roommate. i think we'll get along well."
the last box was haphazardly tossed in the corner of your room, earning you a disapproving glare from choso. exhausted, you flopped on the bed and spread across it like a starfish. choso placed the remaining boxes on the floor. moving day was, despite choso coming to your rescue, utterly chaotic and tiring. your muscles were aching from overexertion and there was no remaining energy or nerve for you to attend to unpacking. you felt like a jellylike mass.
"i'll cook something for us. do you have any preferences or dislikes?"
you lifted your head slightly to peek at choso who was standing in the doorway, on his way out. “you’ll cook for me? what are you, an angel?”
choso didn’t reply, simply stared at you. he was used to such antics - it reminded him of his childhood when he was still living with yuuji and taking care of him. lethargically, you shook your head and planted your face back in the pillow. "no, i'm okay with anything. will inhale anything as long as it's edible," though your voice was muffled, choso understood you nonetheless. he made a confused, albeit affirmative noise before disappearing. a long exhale left your lips. truthfully, you were lucky to have an amazing roommate like choso. even though you didn't know each other well and he wasn't very talkative, he was very much willing to help. with time, you were sure he would warm up to you and become great friends. your eyes were slowly drooping, the exhaustion settling in your bones. within minutes, you dozed off into a deep, comfortable slumber. you didn't wake until a knock roused you out of your sleep, startling you in the process.
"huh? yeah?" you scrambled hastily, trying to fix the bird's nest that was your hair. choso did not need to see you in this state - delirious from being woken up from your deep slumber, feeling as if you'd woken up in a new century and with imprints of your pillows and blanket on your skin. before you could make yourself presentable, choso had already opened the door and stared at you unabashedly.
you blinked dumbfounded, staring back at him.
“food’s ready. you coming?” choso gave you a questioning look, waiting for a reaction. so apparently, he did not care what you looked like after waking up. he didn’t even bat an eyelid at your messy state, unfazed by it.
“uh yeah, give me a minute,” you replied after a few moments passed, sitting up tiredly. choso nodded before closing the door behind him as he returned to the kitchen. grabbing yourself a fluffy blanket, you wrapped it around yourself and waddled outside. whatever he had prepared, it smelled divine. you hummed in content as you took a seat at the dining table. the table was already set, dishes still steaming and looking so inviting that you had to stop yourself from drooling. choso padded to the table, placing some drinks on the table before taking a seat as well. as he described the dishes he'd cooked for the two of you, you inconspicuously looked him up and down. this time, without yuuji catching wind of it.
you knew choso was tall and very broad but you only realized the full extent of it seeing how the chair seemed tiny in comparison to his frame. his hair was down for a change, falling just above his shoulders. as usual, he was wearing comfortable clothes; a big shirt, big enough that you could admire his arm muscles and hands every time the sleeves moved. not only was he attractive, he was incredibly attentive and helpful as well, not expecting anything in return.
"thank you for cooking, i really appreciate it. looks really good," you complimented choso, taking a bite from the dish. you hummed delighted, wiggling in your seat happily. "oh my god, this is so delicious! where did you learn cooking like this?"
"i used to cook for yuuji and myself a lot."
"i wanna return the favour too but now i kind of feel inadequate," you joked lightly, smiling at him sheepishly. while you weren't the worst cook, you weren't outstandingly great either. choso however, was probably the best cook you knew.
"i don't mind. as long as you do your best, it's the thought that counts."
you nodded in agreement, taking a sip from your drink. silence fell over you; a comfortable silence however, both of you just enjoying the food. you supposed it wasn't too bad if you took your time getting to know each other - after all, choso seemed like someone who would quickly recoil if cornered. it wasn't too much of a concern.
after finishing the meal, you helped him clean up and wash the dishes. nudging him gently, you asked: "do you want to watch some movies after? yuuji recommended me a few that i have yet to check out."
choso took the plates, drying them with the towel before placing them back to their designated spots. "sure, you're responsible for the movie selection then."
spending time with choso was easy, almost too easy. you were glad that the two of you were off to a good start, he didn't seem to mind your company and you enjoyed his. cheerfully, you put the movie on, snuggling the blanket that was wrapped around you. the way you were laying on the couch was reminding choso of a little burrito. unbeknownst to him, the corner of his lips lifted a little at the sight. he waited until you noticed him and shuffled a little so he could sit on the couch as well. the movie you had chosen was a lighthearted comedy, one that yuuji had highly praised and recommended you watch first.
midway through the movies, the exhaustion was creeping up on you, making you feel heavy and sleepy until you slumped against choso's side. he glanced to the side, observing you to see whether you would wake up. soft and steady breaths left your lips, already asleep within seconds. choso pondered whether to wake you now, worrying that you would miss out on the movie that you were so eager to watch. you looked so peaceful that he felt bad, deciding to wake you once the movie was over. but even choso couldn't shake the tiredness, gradually slumping against you until sleep overtook him as well.
as the sun was rising, light was flooding the apartment, filling it with warmth. you scrunched your eyebrows at the brightness, attempting to move so it wouldn't blind you. the first thing you noticed was your strained neck - probably because of the weird position you had slept in - and the second thing was that something heavy was laying on your lap. blinking in confusion, you peeked, groaning inwardly at the blinding light. black hair was splayed across your lap, connecting to… choso? oh no. oh no. you must've fallen asleep while watching the movie and judging how choso was comfortably using your lap as a pillow, he did as well. embarrassment spread throughout your body; this wasn't supposed to happen, much less with someone you didn't know so well.
now that you were unintentionally watching him, you felt creepy. the situation was too perplexing to you - should you wake him now? or just wait… until he woke up? but what if you had to pee. what if choso wasn’t going to wake up until a few hours later? what if he woke up and saw you staring at him like a creep? though you did think he looked vulnerable and peaceful in this state, unusual from his intimidating, unwavering self. it made your heart tingle with an unknown feeling, softly bubbling with curiosity.
beneath you, choso was moving slightly, shuffling around until he felt comfortable. you stayed still, tensely watching his next movements. he remained still for a while, making you exhale in relief. until he didn’t. choso blinked a few times, trying to make sense of his surroundings until his gaze fell onto yours. and you stared back, frozen in fear. even if he was the one laying on your lap, you felt anxious.
“uh i… we must’ve fallen asleep last night, ha ha…”
“you fell asleep early on and i was going to wake you after the movie ended but fell asleep myself, i’m sorry for making you feel uncomfortable,” choso apologized sincerely and sat up right away, rubbing his eyes sleepily. even though he looked rather deadpan, there was a trace of embarrassment on his face.
“oh no, it’s okay! we both fell asleep after all… ah, since we’re roommates, we’re sort of friends now, right? so don’t mind it too much, it happens!” you gave choso a reassuring smile, showing him that there was no bad blood between you.
choso nodded slowly. “i guess so. i’m glad you don’t mind. "
an awkward pause.
"do you have classes anytime soon? i can make breakfast for us.”
and just like that, the tension between you was alleviated. not completely gone, but barely noticeable. choso stretched like a cat, yawning quietly before he got up. you couldn't help but glance at his toned stomach, eyes almost bulging at the sight. turning to the side, you hid your face and cleared your voice. "i don't have classes today but i have to go to work later. so i won't say no to breakfast if you're making it."
"how's living with choso?" yuuji questioned you curiously, leaning against the counter. lowering the pen and writing board you were holding, you hummed in thought. in the past few weeks, the two of you had settled into a comfortable routine. there were minor hiccups here and there but the issues were easily resolved - somehow, you silently understood each other, an important foundation for a good friendship.
"pretty relaxing, to be honest. he's a good roommate and friend," you replied, clicking with the pen which earned you an annoying glance from yuuji. "you should've told me he was a great cook! i don't think i've ever tasted any dishes that were as good as his."
"he cooks for you?" the surprised tone in yuuji's voice startled you. was that out of the ordinary? you just thought he was being a good friend when he prepared dinner for you whenever you had a late shift.
"uh yeah? mostly when i come home late or when we have movie nights together. i always tell him that i can definitely help but he insists that he's fine doing it himself."
"i see. choso just doesn't like people messing with his cooking routine, that's all. i'm not even allowed near the kitchen, even though i'm not that bad of a cook either," yuuji laughed, scratching his head sheepishly. he wasn't going to tell you why he was perplexed by the fact that choso willingly cooked for you. it was too early to make any assumptions; he just couldn't shake the feeling that there was something at play. no one knew his brother better than him - choso would never do any favours for persons he didn't care about, persons that weren't family or extremely close friends. while they had talked about choso's thoughts about you, he never mentioned anything more than getting along well and often spending time together. for choso's standards, you were a quite close friend.
"oh, and here i was, thinking that he must really hate my cooking skills. so it's just that," you concluded, grinning happily. he was weirdly persistent about it but knowing this detail about him, you'd stop pestering him in the future. "hey do you wanna come over tomorrow? it's movie night again, i'm sure you'd enjoy it too."
"hmm, sounds tempting. if you can convince choso to cook, i'm in."
"pff, who would say no to this face," you retorted mischievously, showing yuuji the best puppy face you could muster up. he groaned, pushing you gently.
"show off," he told you jokingly and rolled his eyes. "i don't know how choso tolerates you."
"you're just jealous, huh? didn't think you had that emotion in you. choso and me are the bestest of friends, of course we get along well," you stuck your tongue out at yuuji before leaving him to his own devices as you bolted to the cash register to help a customer. as you animatedly conversed with them, yuuji shook his head. it was obvious that there was some attraction but that was something he'd let you figure out. cupid wasn't a well-fitting job for him. friends, my ass.
"huh, did you say something, yuuji?"
"no, not at all."
soft, melodious music was playing in the background as you silently sat at the counter, watching choso prepare some meals before yuuji was visiting. this time, you heeded his advice, not pestering his brother about needing help and instead just opting to watch him and make light conversation. choso seemed to have noticed as well, mood ever so slightly lifted when he saw you simply taking a seat and asking about his day. he liked this routine, being able to go about his day without someone unwantedly poking their nose into his business until he felt comfortable enough to talk about it. as you absentmindedly doodled on a napkin, choso casually told you about his day at work. about squirmy customers who were getting their first tattoo done, about those that had interesting ideas that he was still trying to find ways to implement, about how noisy his co-workers were and that they wanted to have a night out soon.
“do you wanna join us? you said you wanted to meet my friends,” choso asked, briefly glancing up at you as he was dicing the vegetables. it was true, you did inquire about his friends at some point, more so jokingly and out of curiosity - although he complained about them every now and then, you could tell that he deeply cared about them. choso was the kind of person who acted like a mother hen around friends and sometimes nagged a lot more than you anticipated. but then somehow, miraculously, every minuscule task that would stress you was completed and topped with a freshly made, warm dish by the end of the day. he wasn't good with words but his actions made up for it.
you didn’t expect him to offer you to tag along. he was comfortable enough to introduce you to his friends, even seemed to trust you with them. it felt… strangely heartwarming. "i would love to join you but i have quite a lot of assignments piling up; i'll have to do some night shifts to finish them," you replied and sighed ruefully, putting the pen away. "i'll tag along once i've finished everything, okay?"
choso frowned slightly. "but don't overwork yourself. you'll end up frustrated and burnt out," he told you earnestly, reaching out to pat your head. you gaped at him, the fond gesture making you feel flustered. it was nice knowing that he was looking out for you. choso stared back at you, seemingly startled by his own gesture as well. his hand had moved faster than he could react - he didn't know what to make of it.
the ring of the doorbell interrupted every trail of thought and you jumped up quickly. "i'll get it!" you sprinted towards the entrance, letting yuuji in. perhaps you greeted him too overzealously, yuuji looked at you like he knew something was up. nonetheless, he didn't mention anything, instead presenting you the bottle of wine and some dvds that he brought. choso gave his younger brother an acknowledging grunt, too absorbed in his tasks. taking in his surroundings as he got comfortable on the couch, he noticed some subtle changes in the apartment - the numerous pillows and fleece blankets littered across the couch, the set of matching mugs as well as choso's sketchbooks and, presumably, your textbooks on the coffee table. it was obvious that the two of you spent a lot of time together.
even throughout dinner, yuuji realized that choso had taken a liking to you, more than he probably realized and let on. he almost felt like a third wheel watching how you animatedly talked about trivial things and even more so when it was movie time. like a little burrito, you were wrapped in a blanket, leaning against choso. though it surprised yuuji to see his older brother opening up to you so rapidly, he was happy about it. although chaotic and clumsy, you were a good person and a positive influence. having witnessing how choso had closed up and how hurt he had been after the break up of his previous relationship, yuuji was glad that he wasn't cautious around you and welcomed your presence. even though… both of you were painfully oblivious.
"should we wake her?" yuuji asked as he saw you snuggling into choso's side, peacefully sleeping while the movie was still on.
"no, it's okay. she often falls asleep midway through movies, i just let her sleep. probably exhausted from uni."
yuuji looked at him as if he grew three heads. "so you just let her sleep? and you… sleep on the couch too?"
"hm? yeah, kind of. i feel bad about waking her and we're friends so it's not that big of a deal," choso replied innocently, shifting slightly so he was comfortable while keeping his arm around you. ever so slightly, he leaned onto you.
yuuji buried his face in his hands, silently screaming. don't comment on it, don't say anything, it's none of your business. you might have pink hair but you're no cupid.
utterly exhausted, you made your way into the apartment. you flopped onto the couch, grunting in irritation when you heard choso calling your name. staying put, you just laid there and listened to his footsteps nearing. "you okay? did anything happen?" he questioned, leaning over the couch to look at you. you weren't even sure what to answer, whatever you were feeling at the moment was an accumulation of stress across multiple weeks. you were frustrated with your projects, feeling like you weren't making any progress and not having time for yourself whatsoever. all you needed was a break, a pick me up.
"do you wanna talk about it?" choso repeated again but you shook your head, lifting your head slightly to look at him. he almost felt bad for thinking that you looked adorable, the way you huffed in frustration with a little pout on your lips. you shook your head, hugging one of the pillows.
"not now, later maybe?"
"okay. i'll make you a cup of tea." he disappeared from your field of vision. you listened to the sound of the kettle, closing your eyes as you focused on it. slowly, your erratic thoughts came to a halt. your breath and heartbeat steadied and you gradually felt more calm. clack. choso placed the cup of tea on the coffee table, taking a seat next to you. he was hesitant to touch you just yet, waiting for another reaction from you. sniffling quietly, you sat up and thanked him quietly.
"choso?"
"hm?"
"can i have a hug?" you inquired meekly. he didn't reply, simply pulling you into his arms. without hesitation, you wrapped your arms around him, nuzzling your face in the crook of his neck. he smelled nice, like freshly washed laundry and the shampoo he was using. it reminded you of home, making you feel more at ease. gently, choso rubbed your back; wherever his fingers moved, it left a trail of goosebumps on your skin. not that he noticed anyways, fortunately. for a few minutes, only the sound of breathing resounded. it was calming and warm - choso was warm, so warm - you almost fell asleep. humming quietly, you moved closer to him.
"today was just really… bad. everything went wrong," you confided in him. "it made me feel like shit, like i couldn't do anything right. i guess i just feel really stressed so i can't concentrate on anything."
choso leaned forward, reaching out to grab the cup of tea. you squeaked in surprise, holding onto him so you wouldn't drop backwards. his left arm snaked around your waist, keeping you in place as he leaned back again. you moved back a little, as far as choso's arm allowed you to, and took the cup from him, taking small sips. "i think you're doing okay," he told you, drawing patterns on your back. "it's only natural to feel this way when everything's been piling up. what you need is a good rest and have a reset, you'll feel more refreshed and inspired to work on your projects. and don't hesitate to ask for help, no matter whether it's a professor or classmate."
"i also told you not to overwork yourself, didn't i? and don't think i can't tell that you've been pulling all nighters," he scolded you, pinching your cheek playfully. it made you giggle, tilting your head to get away from his hand.
"yeah i know, i know. just couldn't help it, it's a bad habit. i'll try to get better at it," you promised him, giving him a reassuring smile. "thank you for listening to me."
"it's the least i can do."
a comfortable silence fell over you. choso continued to rub your back in an attempt to soothe your nerves while you sipped your tea. you were grateful for him, he was an amazing friend - you didn’t even know how to show gratitude to him. awkwardly turning to put the mug back on the table, you then leaned against him. “choso?” you hummed against his chest, snaking your arms around his waist. “you know you can talk to me about problems too, right?”
“what do you think we’ve been doing these past few weeks?” he retorted and chuckled in amusement. “you should try to go to bed now. get some rest, you’ll feel better tomorrow.”
you pouted, not wanting to move. fortunately, he couldn’t see the face you were making - you weren’t ready to let him go just yet, wanting to memorize the expanse of his chest, his warmth, the way his arms felt around you. it made you feel safe, like a temporary relief to your anxiety. “can we… can we watch a movie maybe? i’m not sleepy yet.”
of course, choso saw right through you. “you always say that and then you fall asleep midway. you just don’t want to move, huh?”
“okay, you caught me,” you giggled hysterically as he stood up slowly and pretended to let you fall, catching you before you fell. clinging onto his shoulders, you wrapped your legs around his waist. you refused to let go. unbothered, he held you by your thighs as he waddled across the living room towards the console to choose a dvd to watch. while clinging onto choso, you could hear his heart beating rapidly - you chalked it up to how strenuous it must be to carry you around. choso, on other hand, couldn’t put a finger on the warm, tingly feeling inside of him. did he like having you around like this? stupid, of course he did, you were good friends after all. spending time with you was relaxing for him as well. back on the couch, he let you use his lap as a pillow, absentmindedly combing his fingers through your hair. the two of you remained in this position until both inevitably fell asleep, movie still playing in the background.
“y/n. earth to y/n. dude, can you hear me?” nobara was frantically waving papers in front of your face, rolling her eyes as you snapped out of your trance and took them from her. to your delight, the two of you shared quite a few classes this semester which meant that you could usually share the workload as well. you copied some of her notes, hastily scribbling them in your notebook.
"sorry, i was lost in thought. what did you say?"
"i asked you whether you wanna go out later? the whole crew is coming, it's been a while anyways," your friend repeated, placing her little cosmetics bag on the table to check her makeup and apply another layer of lip gloss.
"ah sorry, i already have plans for today, maybe ano-"
"with whom?" she asked pointedly, narrowing her eyes at you. in recent times, you've been rejecting her offers to hang out a lot; whether it be because of studying or hanging out with… "wait, are you having a date with that roommate of yours again?"
"it's not a date!" you briefly paused, giving her a dirty look. nobara was weirdly persistent about this dating thing, claiming that you would never get anywhere if you didn't make a move. "his name is choso, yuuji's older brother. i told you a million times already. he's been a really good friend and taking care of me when i feel stressed, so i thought it would be time for me to do the same for him."
"a really good friend?" a doubtful look was shot your way.
"yeah, i mean yuuji cooks for us all the time, how is it any different? anyways, i'll join you guys another day, okay?"
nobara stayed still for a moment. you truly didn't realize how much you's been mentioning choso. choso this, choso that, choso here, choso there. even yuuji had confided in her that he thought you might have developed a crush on his older brother though he wasn't certain. nobara, however, was sure. but operation make y/n realize things proved to be more difficult, considering you hadn't had a crush before as you were never interested in relationships.
"fine. but in return, you have to tell me about choso. what do you think of him?" nobara stuffed her belongings into the impossibly full handbag. propping her chin on her hands, she leaned closer to you with a shit-eating grin. you sighed, putting the papers away. it was no use trying to focus on your assignments when she was in an investigative mood. she wouldn't let go of the issue until you gave her a satisfactory answer. and for some reason, it irked you that she was inquiring about choso. why was she so curious about him? couldn't she have asked yuuji instead? it was his brother after all. maybe nobara was… interested in choso? you narrowed your eyes at her.
"i think he's great. might be intimidating at first and not very talkative but when he opens up to you, he's actually a softie. very respectful and polite towards people, always thinks of others first. and not to mention, he's really talented too! he often acts like he's annoyed by people or minds his own business but he really does care a lot. you feel comforted by his presence when you're close with him," you rambled, trying to list all the positive points about him that you could think of. nobara nodded slightly as she was listening to you, making it difficult to gauge her stance on him. was she going to confess now? maybe you should confront her about it. yeah, she would never admit it otherwise. "nobara, are you interested in choso? if you wanted me to introduce you to him, you could've just asked."
nobara stared at you with an open mouth. checkmate.
"you know i wouldn't have judged you at all! after all, choso is handsome too. so really, you don't have to sneak around about this," you concluded triumphantly, patting her arm in reassurance. it filled you with pride to be able to catch nobara off guard for once - usually, she was very composed and ready to give you a sassy answer.
"y/n, sweetie. you're so very wrong." nobara sighed, dejectedly pushing your hand away. you were incredibly dense when it came to feelings and relationships. maybe it would be more amusing to just watch everything pan out. “i don’t really care about choso, that’s your man after all.”
“yeah, yeah, i- wait what?”
thankfully, you arrived home earlier than choso did - for once. and for once, this friday was going to be a relaxing one, seeing as you’d finally finished your projects and assignments and could finally engage in a much needed self care day. placing the groceries bags on the counter, you went through the ingredients again just to make sure you didn’t forget anything. yuuji had given you a recipe for his famous meatballs recipe, claiming that it was one of choso’s favourite dishes. in recent times, choso seemed to be exhausted and sometimes even easily irritable after work - considering how much he did for you, it was only fair for you to treat him as well. surprising him seemed to be the best course of action.
making quick work of the ingredients, you took your time to clean the apartment while the soup was still cooking. yuuji was kind enough to lend you a few dvds, not even asking you whether you were going to watch them with choso anymore. while you felt bad about turning your friends down yet again, you promised yourself to make it up to them in the future by inviting them over for a sleepover or movie night. though knowing them, they would not let you stay in the comfort of your home but drag you to a party or club again. especially nobara would always insist on dragging you along, while megumi and yuuji didn’t really care about where they would be going for the night. her excuse was to find you a partner, claiming that it was about time you realized how cute you were, which you vehemently denied. even maki had told her to pipe it down at some point. all the more, it made you suspicious that nobara had not brought the topic up anymore. you couldn’t imagine her giving up so quickly, considering how persistent she had been for almost a year now.
the jingle of the keys and the soft click of the door made you stop whatever you were doing, peeking around the corner to see choso coming in. giggling quietly, you watched as he stopped in his tracks and sniffed the air, seemingly confused about the scent of the soup. he turned around upon hearing you, a small, almost unnoticeable smile on his lips. “up to no good?” he questioned you teasingly, placing his bag and jacket in the wardrobe. huffing, you stuck your tongue out at him and shook your head. you padded over to him, softly tugging at the sleeve of his shirt to make him follow you to the kitchen.
“since you always cook for me, i thought it would be time for me to do the same for you. yuuji showed me your favourite dish but i’m not sure if it turned out as well as he always makes it,” you sheepishly explained, showing him the pot of soup and the bowls and cutlery that you’d already laid out. choso hugged your side, squeezing your waist gently before patting your head and muttering a quiet thank you. your chest filled with pride, finally being helpful to him for once. if you weren’t careful, it would burst - he fuelled your ego even more as he complimented you, telling you how well the soup turned out and that he really appreciated it. you knew he wasn’t lying, for one because he was a sincere person and always offered heartfelt compliments, and because of how eagerly he was eating, practically inhaling the soup in one go. he even looked like he was in a food coma by the time you finished dinner, making you ban him from the kitchen to take a rest on the couch.
after washing the dishes, you came back to the living room to see him lie across the couch, eyes closed and calmly breathing. he looked like he was taking a nap, until he opened his eyes to peek at you as you approached. giddily, you joined him on the couch, showing him the hair products that you’d already placed on the coffee table. “can i give you a massage and do… uh hair stuff? i really like it when people brush my hair and stuff and i thought you might enjoy it too,” you explain to him. choso contemplated for a few seconds before shrugging nonchalantly. yes! you signaled him to sit on the floor in front of you as you pressed play. with the sound of the movie in the background, you focused on choso’s hair and took off the hair ties first. he got comfortable, turning towards the tv and learning his head against the edge of the couch. gently running your fingers through his hair, you made sure to detangle rough knots before massaging his scalp gently. you could tell that choso was beginning to relax by the way his shoulders were slowly sagging. in silence, you worked through the entirety of his scalp before moving on to brush his hair.
if you didn’t already know that choso was a naturally withdrawn person, you would’ve been concerned by how quiet he was and how he didn’t show any reactions to the movie. you were glad that he seemed to like the entire hair spa ordeal; he didn’t even seem to mind that you were using your hair products on him, the soft floral scent now emanating from his hair as you massaged it through the tips and then brushed it in slow strokes. by the time you were done, he looked utterly relaxed, struggling to keep his eyes open as he climbed back on the couch and sat next to you. without having to ask, he wrapped his arms around you. yawning quietly, you moved closer to him, turning your attention to the tv. habitually, his hands moved against your back, drawing shapes and patterns. slowly, choso could feel the heat in his body rising and chalked it up to the close proximity. it did make him feel a little uneasy however; he shifted you around on his lap until he felt comfortable. abruptly halting his movements, he froze as you turned to him, ass grazing his groin. an electric shock ran through him. subconsciously, he jolted at the friction. the tips of his ears turned red in embarrassment but he reassured you he was fine when you looked at him concerned. what the hell was that? was his body now not listening to him after being so relaxed?
“choso, can i ask you something?” you leaned back slightly to look at him.
“you already did. but yeah, go ahead.” choso grinned at the little huff you let out, grasping your hand in time as you tried to hit his chest and intertwined your fingers so you couldn’t move.
“uh this might sound weird but i think a friend of mine is interested in you. nobara, do you know her?” you squeezed his hand, moving it around with yours. “she asked me about you the other day.”
“huh, really? isn’t that one of yuuji’s friends too?”
you nodded in agreement. “yeah, we’re all friends. i only told her good things about you, of course.”
choso hesitated. he wasn’t sure what to tell you, not wanting to say something about your friend that could upset you. but the truth was, he wasn’t really interested in anyone right now. the recent breakup had done a number on him and he felt like he hadn’t properly moved on just yet. not when the thoughts were still obsessively circling in his head. but when choso was with you, they miraculously seemed to disappear, making him feel more at ease. “i’m not really looking for anything right now, sorry. i don’t really want to disappoint her, i’m just not really up for a relationship right now,” he told you truthfully, giving you an apologetic smile.
you stopped in your movements, nodding slightly in understanding. and still, it made your heart seize up for an unknown reason.
ps.: the story of how it takes reader and choso ages until they realize their feelings or alternatively: nobara and yuuji unwillingly turn into cupids
#jujutsu kaisen#choso#kamo choso#choso kamo#choso x reader#kamo choso x reader#choso kamo x reader#choso x you#kamo choso x you#choso kamo x you#choso imagines#choso kamo imagines#kamo choso imagines#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen imagines#fic: home#writing
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“i should’ve kissed you sooner.”
— welcome to sam’s brewery, where we commemorate reaching 500 customers! this event lasts for one week, and will only take up to twenty orders(as above that can become quite overwhelming).
+order: omg your blog is rlly beautiful!! may i request "i should've kissed you sooner then" with sugawara?? i've been craving sugawara fluff lately. pls make them good friends and that the reader is also a manager for karasuno! thank you! [submitted by anonymous]
+word count: 0.8k
+author’s notes: hello anon! thank you for participating in this event. i hope you like this <3 to anyone who wants to send a prompt, here is the link to the event masterlist so you can know which shows you can request from!
You never imagined the last three years to be so fulfilling.
Yet whenever you look back on the memories you've made here, it makes your heart pump faster. Karasuno High has never been so nostalgic until today. Today, when you realize, that this is your last week here. Walking into the gym today, you feel a sense of sentimentality creep into you from behind. The boys have already begun practicing, but there's a gloomy feeling lurking around—and nobody seems to be addressing the elephant in the room.
"Nice serve!" rings out Sugawara's voice. The voice that makes your heart skip a beat whenever you hear it. The voice that makes the smallest(yet noticeable) blush creep into your cheeks when you can pinpoint whose it is. The voice that made you fall deeper, faster, and stronger.
And honestly, you don't expect the practice to end as quickly as it does.
(You were mentally wishing that it drags out forever. Because right now, you were grasping at whatever loose ends this year has left for you.)
The thread is being pulled out of your hand, and you can't do anything about it. Which, lack for a better word, sucks because there are so many things you wish to say. So many things that have been left unsaid, and you don't know if you'd be able to handle the pain that comes along with goodbye.
(Truly the best and worst years of your life, aren't they?)
Certainly, walking home with the love of your life that you haven't been able to confess to for a year and a half is mildly, if not violently, infuriating. You were both silent at first, but reminiscing about the times you've spent together unmistakably makes it worse.
"Oh God, remember the time you accidentally threw the broom at my head last year?" Kōshi says, out of the blue, which makes you chortle. You narrow your eyes after regaining composure, flicking his forehead lightly as you say, "I didn't throw it! It was self-defense because you decided to scare me while i was getting the mop from the storage!"
"Same thing! It hurt like a bitch for the week after!" he clutched his stomach, "Man, I still remember the way you fell on the floor after throwing it at me-"
"Kōshi!"
"Sorry!" he stands straight now, placing a hand on your shoulder as support. The wind passing you by is a slow one—one that reminds you of how fast time can slip by, and one that reminds you to do things without regret.
Looking at the trees nearby, you can feel the slow winter leaves slip into spring. They're transitioning from a crisp, decaying leaf, to lush green or blossom pink. It's now or never, you think.
"Suga," you pause after saying his name, stopping as he continues.
He's a couple of steps ahead when he looks back at you, the wind chilly, yet warm like a soothing embrace. His pewter hair seemed to flow in the wind like leaves, singing their own song as they rustled on a budding morning.
"You're supposed to talk," he says, walking back to you. His eyebrows furrow at your sudden nervousness—you were fiddling your hand and your eyes couldn't meet his like they did mere moments ago. He begins yet again, more tenderly this time as his hand rests on the blade of your shoulder, "[Y/N]?"
You look up, your eyes screaming ten times the emotions you showed through your expression, and he sighs. He intertwines your hands together, as if understanding right away that you need someone to lean on, and begins walking.
But you want him to stop. Your voice is hitched in your throat, because all you can think about is how this is one of the last times you'll be walking alongside the boy you're in love with, and that after this week, everything would come crashing down.
"Wait," you mumble upon reaching your home. He stops just as he's about to walk away, yet he doesn't turn. He just stands there, and he can hear your footsteps coming closer and closer. He wants to raise his hand and wipe the one stray tear on his cheek away.
He doesn't want to lose you.
"You're cry-"
"I like you," he says before you can even complete, and then shuts his eyes as tightly as he can. He only opens them back up when he can feel your soft touch on his jaw, but it doesn't last long because your lips are on his before he can even comprehend what's happening.
In that kiss was the sweetness of passion, a million loving thoughts condensed into a moment. It felt raw—tears running down his cheeks as you wipe them off after pulling away for air, yet your foreheads remain together as you look into one another's eyes with nothing but love, vulnerability, and compassion.
"I should've kissed you sooner then," he chuckles to look away, but you know he's only saying it to make the moment more lighthearted.
As if on cue, you reply, "Yeah. You should've."
(Let's just say they were the best years, not the worst.)
© all works belong to admiringlove on tumblr. plagiarism is strictly prohibited.
#sugawara koushi#sugawara kōshi#sugawara#hq sugawara#haikyuu sugawara#sugawara koushi x reader#sugawara koshi x reader#sugawara koushi x you#sugawara koshi imagine#sugawara koshi x you#sugawara koshi headcanons#sugawara koushi drabble#haikyuu!!#haikyu#haikyuu#haikyuu angst#haikyū!!#haikyuu headcanons#milestone event !!
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Hi! Been lurking on your blog for a while. You’re one of my favorites! 💖
Just curious though, what’s this anon book club that I keep seeing?
-cheers! 😊
hello hello nonnie, nice to meet you!
awweheh thank you very much! it’s such an honor to be one of your favorites. reading that really made me smile :)
so the book club is what we (me, my lovely emoji anons, and sweet non-anon blogs) call ourselves here 🤭 all we do is basically cry over oscar, his movies, and pretty much anything else that comes to mind hehe. it’s super fun interacting with each other and if you ever wanna join in, you’re more than welcome to! i promise we’re all nice and would looove to have you as part of our little group 💞
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Hello love!
And you’re right, the hate has ramped up and anyone who says they love bughead but don’t like Betty doesn’t actually like bughead, let’s start with that. They love Jughead and self-insert as Betty and are upset she, uh, was written badly by mediocre men for a plot device. Trust me, Betty fans have been through this for years. There is nothing that Jughead can do that some people won’t defend.
(goes for the actor who plays him as well)
(i’m not shitting on any actor, i’m making a point about sexism and the prevalence of it in media and fandom)
(also not shitting on self-inserting, i just think people should be honest with themselves about it)
If the shoe had been on the other foot? I think we all know these same people would making posts like, “jughead did nothing wrong, betty should have been supportive of him and he wouldn’t have had to do it 😌” or “are you saying mistakes can’t be forgiven??? wow, what about the stuff betty’s done???”
(especially when you consider how many betty fans feel like they can’t defend her or be attacked. which, y i k e s when you consider that fandom, in general, is made up of women who would be intimately aware of what it’s like to feel like you can’t speak up for fear of retaliation)
So, I don’t listen to that noise to be honest because here’s the thing: Betty has been getting shit since the start. I lurked for a long time before I wrote fic, btw, so I’ve seen a lot.
Let’s walk it out: Betty stands in the way of what? Multiple ships while having the audacity to be a woman.
She’s the wall, in people’s minds, between b/archie because they decided that Archie is in love with her and always has been and that she keeps choosing Jughead is indicative of...something, I don’t know, I don’t go near their theories tbh. She’s also the problem standing in the way of j/eronica. Jughead, according to the last time I got a troll (which was about mid s3 after they were convinced jug was going to kiss veronica and declare himself in the noir episode—that self own was delightful, thank you past troll for that one), was pining for Veronica and clearly in love with her but damned that Betty Cooper! Making him feel guilty for something? I don’t know, I also stay in my own lane and don’t go near their blogs either because I’m not an asshole who harasses people.
I do know enough to know that it’s never really about the fact that Jughead isn’t in love with Veronica, it’s Betty keeping him from being happy with her audacity to exist. Or it’s Betty keeping Archie from being happy. Or, in the case of j/archie, I think she might just be in the way with that wayward vagina of hers, causing chaos between true love of that crack ship (ship and let ship i say, sail your j/archie ships, y’all).
She’s also currently in the way for some people with Veronica and Archie (tho i think we can all agree, it’s just going to a be a cringeworthy plot device for when jughead and veronica stroll back into town)
Betty has the apparent bad taste to do two things: have the love of a male fave and be a main character herself.
Which, in essence, isn’t about Betty. It’s about the perception of how a female needs to act in the minds of people who were always going to hold her to standards she was never going to be able to meet. Jughead, from the word go, has been a fave. The fave, prob. I’ve seen Betty get hate for throwing him a birthday party, where her biggest crime was trying to do something nice (i’m sorry but misguided mistakes made in good faith aren’t an attack on your fave male, betty haters) and other people turning it into chaos. She’s been called a cheater for kissing Archie while single in s2.
Funny. I don’t recall anyone saying that after Jughead did the same thing. With a much shorter timespan between break up and kissing, do you? Or Archie, for that matter, with Farm Girl. Huh. I wonder what the difference is?
(and yes, i’m aware they’ll flip it to she didn’t tell him right away which is still just a plot device. literally, the whole thing existed to make 2x14 happen)
Anyway.
Years ago, reading s1 fic, I noticed a theme in a good amount of stories. Betty messed up. Constantly. It was almost always her fault and Jughead was magnanimous enough to overlook her multitude of flaws and wasn’t she lucky for it? That changed with s2 and I think a lot of us know why. Even now, when I write fics, if Jughead does something stupid, I can get comments about how Jughead had good intentions and Betty should forgive him.
I mean, I know she will. I’m writing it, ha. But that’s not the point. The point is that they’re both capable of messing up and forgiving each other. The difference is that only one of them has a large support of unconditional loyalty while the other has loyalty that hinges on a checklist of appropriate behavior.
Look, I’m not here to tell anyone how to love a character. If people wanna stan, go ahead. I don’t care. I think some self-awareness of bias is always a good thing. I can always tell which character I’m biased towards and I’m okay with it. I own it. I love bughead, I love both characters but if you don’t think that being harassed and targeted and having people I respected in this fandom come out and say some incredibly hurtful things hasn’t affected it, well. Sigh.
And this is before we even get into the fact that b/archies are obsessed with forgetting about Veronica’s existence. Which drives me nuts.
In the end it’s really about one common issue: Betty Cooper dared to be human. And as a woman on top of that, she must be punished for it.
So, take care of yourself, curate your online experience, make edits (and link me pls!), and remember: the b/archies are most likely big, big mad that they were duped. Again. And that always makes them really loud for awhile.
Thank you for the kind words and the ask, lovely!💜
#besos!#rd negativity#fandom negativity#anti-barchie#anti other ships?#not really#i really am a ship and let ship person#i don't care what you do#sexism#misogyny#betty cooper fanclub#ha#gonna be my band name#long post#pls enjoy my essay#or don't#i don't control you#you do you boo boo#i like how i edited it too late#may the typos live in infamy
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Chris Motionless's Blurbs About me: Want to know who i am? Read This! They call me Chris Motionless. I sing and write music for the band known as Motionless In White. Click on us in my top friends and have a listen! We are Signed To Fearless Records and have a CD out on Tragic Hero Records. You can find it in Hot Topic, Itunes and anywhere else! We do tour a lot so come say hello! I AM NOT A DICK AND I AM NOT A FUCKING ROCKSTAR!! I am as nice as i can be to everyone so don't believe otherwise! I would love to meet you so if you see me, please say hello! I want to say thank you very much to all of our fans for all your help and support. I/We really do appreciate everything you do for us and I hope you know that without YOUR help we wouldn't be anywhere we are now and that I will NEVER forget where I came from and the people that helped us. This is all for you guys and i hope you have as much fun with our band as we do. I look forward to meeting as many of you as possible and making new friends as often as we can And i hope that everything i write for this band means something to all of you as it does for me. THANK YOU!<3 Other than being in a band, I spend most of my time being pissed off and hating pretty much everything or depressed about things I can't let go. I have no shame in being who I am and I feel as if I’m one of the very few left who are willing to see the truth about life instead of living some fantasy where all is perfectly fine. I suppose they call that Realism and with that said… I consider myself… a Realist. I don’t give a fuck who you are and what you want to say about me. I wear makeup, black, tight clothes, Style my hair and when the fad is dead, don’t look for me to have changed. That is ME and what I always will be. I will forever stand up for myself and I'm Sorry I'm not afraid to be myself. I am Godfree (please read my blog to find out more) and Believe in being your own person and respect everyone for who they are regardless of what you look like and what you believe in. I will always find a reason to be angry and bitter towards things even though I don’t exactly seek to be angry about them. I hold grudges forever and will never forgive or forget anything. I let problems eat away at me every second of the day and once something bothers me, I pick it apart until one problem has become 100. I worry and stress out about everything and never will allow myself to relax no matter how much I want to be happy. Close friends constantly tell me that if given the opportunity... I wouldn't allow myself to be happy. I can't argue with them because it seems like i will NEVER allow myself to stop stressing out over EVERYTHING and relax. I like to pretend I know who I am, but I’m finding out everyday that I’ve become things I never thought I would. I once said I regret almost everything I’ve ever done with my life.. but looking back again, no I don’t. I just dwell on my mistakes I’ve made and looking at the past depresses me almost as much as looking at the future. I like to view things in the worst way possible so that if they are any better than what I expected, I’m pleased. I’m very unselfish and the kind of person that puts everyone else around them first and myself second. Most people seem to take comfort in being among others but I enjoy seclusion and WANT to be alone. Although it was never really my thing to begin with.. Trust is no longer in my vocabulary. And nothing will ever change that. I do consider myself to be a generally nice person and easy to get along with, but I’m not the funny loud person everyone likes, I’m the quiet observing type who usually lurks in the corner and listens. I don’t talk much and HATE when people bring it up. If I wanted to be a part of the conversation, I will gladly step in when I feel necessary. I have lost all faith in Humanity and I love seeing right through the transparent fake personalities and hate that people are unwilling to put the time into seeing the truth about their "friends" or the people around them. It bothers me more than anything in the world to see undeserving egotistical horrible people having good things happen to them while the rest of us live in constant struggle. If I hate you, chances are you will never know unless I really want you to. I hate people who talk bad about someone without them around but are their best friend when together, or people who change how they act depending on who they are with. I feel that the world or at least the “scene” I am pigeon holed into is complete bullshit and composed of pure hypocrisy and I want no part of it. In fact i plan on writing a book about my views on my time spent in this whole mess of shit that caused me to lose faith in the world. No matter who you are reading this, you KNOW you’ve felt or feel the same way about many of the things I’ve highlighted. So save it tough guy, You’re not fooling anyone =) This band has saved my life and means more to me than you can ever imagine. My band will be touring with them in august and after that happens I will be able to say my life has been fully completed and i've accomplished everything i've ever wanted. Thank you Bleeding Through.
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Hiya, hello! I meant to ask this before but shyness and my forgetful butt hit 🥺 I just want to say I always love meeting new selfshippers and wholeheartedly agree that EriGawa is entirely canon and the only fitting person for Aku 😤 the art is honestly perfect and radiates king and queen energy! 💖
I selfship with my dearest Tigre, Atsushi UwU, he is honestly a blessing and happiness and I always melt and swoon when I see his face in new art or mayoi cards 🥺 AtsuDany is my selfship, silly tiger and wolf shenanigans 🐯💖🐺
Thank you for your follow and likes on my art, it’s appreciated and look forward to seeing more sweet EriGawa art and content! 💖😤 He loves you, your his safe place! — 🐺✨
Hiii!! I love meeting other self shippers too (omg especially for BSD, I don’t have too many BSD self shipper mutuals so I AM SO HAPPY YOU’RE HERE!!!!) Nice to officially meet you, I’ve definitely been lurking your blog the past few days! I couldn’t help myself cause I stumbled upon your blog and instantly melted cause AtsuDany is freakin PRECIOUS!!!🥺🥺
I also melt whenever new Aku content is released so I know the feeling all too well!!! I will deff be sending any Atsushi stuff I see your way, so get used to it 😝💞 I’m so thankful BSD is ongoing and new art and merch is being released frequently ☺️
I know our men don’t always get along but it seems like we will get along quite well! Atsushi loves you so much you seriously complete him and bring out the best in him!!! Every day he strives to be the best person possible and it’s all for you 💕 You are the light in his life and he wants to give you the entire world because of all the happiness you bring into his life!!!
Thank you so so much for your support of EriGawa and the sweet comments and tags you’ve left on my art! It seriously means the world to me 🥺 I am so excited to get to know you better and learn more about AtsuDany! Maybe EriGawa & AtsuDany double dates can be a thing I’d love that🤩✨💘
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I’ve just been lurking, so I decided to at least introduce myself. I have just fallen in love with your blog and all of the MCYT g/t!! I already loved g/t, but when I found out about MCYT g/t, I literally screeched like a pterodactyl. I might not say much, but I will support everyone else’s contributions!
-👑
Hello!!! It's nice to meet you!!! 💗💗💗💗💗
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Not sure if you write for Brahms Heelshire- my apologies- but if you do, can you write Brahms with a child!reader? Just as friends of course- I just think it would be adorable
Of course!
Brahms Heelshire and a child reader.
There were thunders outside. You were sitting in the backseat of the car, looking out the window and up to the dark sky; not a single light could be seen out in the storm. The rain spattered against the windshield, and slid down the wind leaving thin trails behind.
The car of the Heelshires was an old, but expensive model. The seats were wrapped in a beautiful white velvet, and everything else was a shiny, dark gray. You curled up in a reduced space very far to the side; if you were to make a mess, you'll never hear the end of it.
—“Is everything okay back there, sweetie?”
A shaky voice approached you, and you noticed the old man watching you from the rear-view mirror.
—“Mhm, thank you, sir. Are we there yet?”
—“Haha. We're almost there.”
You've been sitting for nearly two hours since you left the orphanage, and worried that you didn't see a single house on the way. The mansion really is in the middle nowhere.
You turned back again to the window and watched the hundred raindrops fall against it, like a busy road. You pretended they were having a race, hoping it would distract your 8-year-old mind. But as your chest grew tighter, you found that nothing that interested you before provided you the slightest bit of entretainment.
Your gaze fell upon the structure rising marvellously along the crowns of the trees. The mansion provided enough light to be seen through the foggy view of the thunderstorm; it looked like a fire had started on the inside.
The vehicle began to slow, and came to a stop when it reached the curb of the house. The light from inside loomed over them, a starry night in the black sky. Rain pattered on the roof of the car.
You got out. While a servant dressed in black came to take care of the luggage, you stared at the long hallway that extended in front of you. It shined in dim light, no corners were left dark, and yet you felt like something sinester lurked around.
—“Go inside, hurry! You'll get wet!” A hand in your back pushed you gently, making you hurry inside the building. Miss Heelshire ran in with you. “God, honey, you're soaking!”
Suddently aware of your state, you took a look at yourself; she was right. Your hair and clothes were dripping onto the bright velvet carpet.
—“Oh golly” Mister Heelshire closed the door behind him, leaving his hat in the rack besides it. “Why don't you go take a warm shower, young lady? I'll show you the way to the bathroom.”
You followed behind him. He took the opportunity to show you around a bit on your way to the restroom, but you weren't quite paying attention. You couldn't catch anything he said.
—“It's here. You'll find some fresh pajamas on top of the toilet. It's late, so why don't you get some rest, do you? Tomorrow morning we'll give you a little tour.”
You nodded and he left. You went in.
The bathroom was nothing you've seen before. It only had an old window, wearing a foggy crystal, that didn't seem like you could open it. The mirror in front of the sink took most of the wall, except for a thick space that traveled from the floor to the very ceiling; three frames hanged from it vertically, each depicting the same little boy with different expressions. “What a crooked little bathroom”, you thought.
You turned on the water of the shower, and vapour immediately started to pour out. You took off your damp clothes, and got in quickly; the water was deliciously warm, you felt your muscles relaxing at the touch of it.
Several minutes later, you came out looking like a raisin. You didn't realize how long you've been in the shower until you saw the clock that was hung also besides the mirror: at least 30 minutes of water wasted. You felt a little embarrassed, but the water bill was nothing a pair of billionaires couldn't handle, anyway.
Thump. You were putting on your pajamas, that smelled new, when a noise caught your attention. Once, it sounded gentle. Thump thump. Twice, a little louder. Then it wouldn't stop.
Desperately putting on whatever you could, your heart throbbed at the aggressive noise that seemed to unravel around you. It sounded like a giant beast running inside the walls.
The last noise ended just in the other side of the bathroom door. Filled with adrenaline, you ran outside slamming the door open.
—“Hello?!” The echo was the only thing you heard back. The sound of the creaking walls stopped abruptly as if you scared off whatever was making it. Or that's what you wanted to think.
You looked around for something that produced light; anything would do. And when you found a candle, which flame could barely stay alive, it was enough for you. You took it with one hand, keeping it as far from your body as possible, and thought about what to do next.
You didn't know where your room was. Even if you knew, this house had at least 20 rooms per floor; there's no way you could find it.
But you remembered the way to the main hallway. The hallway that led to every room in the house, but it would now be dark, silent, and much more horrid.
You forced you legs to start walking.
“There's nothing to fear.” You thought to yourself, looking down the red velvet carpet that lied under your feet. You reached the end of the wall, and the hallway was just around the corner. All you needed to do was look up and walk through, it wouldn't even take you a minute. So you raised your head.
You could see the siluette at the end of it. You could've convinced yourself it was just a lump if you didn't see the moon shining against his face. His face made of porcelain.
The wind was raging against the trees, making the leaves moan an omnious sound. The flame burning in top of your candle danced along your heavy breathing.
—“Hello.”
You froze in place, and felt your blood cold in a split of a second. Your eyes narrowed; everything felt like a living fever dream.
—“Don't be scared. I wouldn't wanna hurt you.”
The childish voice resonated in your head; there was no way it came from him. You managed to splurt out a stuttering sentence. —“Who are you?”
He approached shyly, like a little kid. —“I'm Brahms. I live here.”
Something seemed off, but you couldn't put your finger on it. You had no choice but to believe him. You had no reason not to.
—“How old are you?” You asked.
He hesitated. —“I'm... 8 years old.”
You were as well. —“You look like you're a big year old.”
—“I'm just really tall.” His hands started fidgeting; he looked nervous to meet you. You felt a little bad for him.
You stretched out your arm towards him. —“I'm (y/n). Nice to meet you.”
—“Nice to meet you...” He repeated while taking your small hand in a handshake. You smiled.
—“What's up with the mask?”
He tilted his head. —“I'm playing a game. Do you want to play with me?”
You hesitated. The flame on the candle was shaking weakly while silence filled the space between you two. It was too late in the night to play.
—“Please.” He spoke as if he read your mind. “Just for a bit.”
The flame died out. It was pitch black.
—“Okay.”
And you were the last child the Heelshires adopted.
[Author's note: Sorry if this looks a little rushed! I just feel like this blog is kind of abandoned. I'm alive though!]
#brahms heelshire#slashers#slasher#the boy#slashers x reader#slashers imagines#slasher x reader#brahms heelshire x reader#brahms heelshire imagines#brahms heelshire headcanons#slasher imagines#slashers headcanons#slasher headcanon#brahms x reader#brahms the boy#brahms imagine
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